Andrew Schulz | Club Random

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Random with Bill Maher – Episode Featuring Chris Distefano

Episode Title: Andrew Schulz | Club Random
Release Date: March 23, 2025
Host: Bill Maher
Guest: Chris Distefano

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Club Random, Bill Maher sits down with comedian Chris Distefano for an in-depth conversation that navigates through contemporary societal issues, personal life experiences, and the evolving landscape of media and politics. Filmed in the undisclosed yet vibrant setting of Club Random, the discussion offers listeners a candid glimpse into the complexities of modern life beyond the usual political discourse.

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Woke Culture and Cancel Culture

Maher and Distefano dive into the persistent influence of woke culture and the phenomenon of cancel culture. They reflect on recent events where even benign expressions led to widespread backlash, illustrating the ongoing challenges in free speech and societal acceptance.

Bill Maher [04:01]: "I think we were done with this shit. Yeah, but we're never gonna be done with that shit completely."

Chris Distefano [04:39]: "Not completely. Especially as long as, like, people are afraid."

The conversation highlights the difficulty in balancing accountability with freedom of expression, emphasizing that the tug-of-war between these forces shows no signs of abating.

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Media Bias and Political Discourse

A significant portion of the episode examines the current state of media bias and its impact on political discourse. Maher critiques media organizations, particularly CNN, for their struggle to maintain impartiality in an era marked by political polarization.

Bill Maher [05:23]: "I love CNN. I'm thrilled to be. I find it such an honor to be back on."

Chris Distefano [07:00]: "You have to meet people where they feel things."

They discuss the challenges faced by media outlets in navigating factual reporting amidst emotional and ideological divides, questioning the effectiveness of current strategies in bridging gaps between differing political factions.

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Relationships and Parenthood

Transitioning to more personal topics, Distefano shares his experiences with marriage and fatherhood, providing a humorous yet sincere account of balancing personal life with a burgeoning career in entertainment.

Chris Distefano [09:31]: "Kids, like a year and a month old. It was all. It's every single cliché you could ever imagine."

Bill Maher [09:34]: "What’s that like?"

Their exchange delves into the universal challenges of parenting, highlighting how societal clichés often ring true in real-life experiences. They touch upon the emotional adjustments and the shift in priorities that come with raising a child.

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Stereotypes and Identity

The dialogue shifts towards the stereotypes associated with various communities, particularly focusing on Jewish stereotypes and their historical roots. Maher and Distefano explore how these long-standing prejudices continue to influence perceptions and interactions in contemporary society.

Chris Distefano [52:53]: "There's an ambient energy towards Jews. This is just my opinion, but ambient energy to Jews."

Bill Maher [52:55]: "That's not wrong. And you're right, I shouldn't say stupid."

They critically analyze the persistence of such stereotypes and discuss the importance of combating ignorance with education and genuine interpersonal connections.

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Media's Role in Shaping Opinions

Continuing their critique of media, the hosts discuss how media outlets often shape and sometimes distort public perception through selective reporting and echo chambers. They reference Jonathan Haidt's ideas on moral psychology to underscore how emotions and preconceived notions drive people's opinions more than facts.

Chris Distefano [42:47]: "Feelings don't care about your facts. Like you have to meet people where they feel things."

Bill Maher [43:30]: "People want to believe this thing for whatever actual reasons, feeling reasons, their background, their family, their upbringing."

This segment emphasizes the need for media literacy and the role of individuals in seeking comprehensive information beyond their existing beliefs.

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Immigration and the American Dream

Distefano passionately discusses the immigrant mentality and its role in reinforcing the American Dream. He emphasizes the importance of immigrants in showcasing the opportunities available in America, contrasting it with perceptions of other countries where such opportunities might be limited.

Chris Distefano [86:36]: "Americans like abundance, and we like hope. Barack sold us on hope, and we will buy that every single time."

Bill Maher [90:00]: "You can make it. You can."

Their conversation highlights how the ethos of risk-taking and relentless pursuit of opportunities is intrinsic to American identity, advocating for policies that continue to attract and support immigrants who embody this spirit.

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Communication Across Ideological Divides

A recurring theme is the necessity of open dialogue between differing political ideologies. Maher and Distefano argue that understanding and respecting opposing viewpoints is crucial for a healthy discourse, warning against the dangers of groupthink and ideological echo chambers.

Bill Maher [73:56]: "If you lose that contest to Donald Trump, who's also not tethered to reality in many ways."

Chris Distefano [74:13]: "Disseminating disinformation and talking to the people you disagree with is really important."

They advocate for engaging with opponents not to condemn but to understand and potentially find common ground, thereby strengthening democratic discourse.

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Conclusion

In this episode of Club Random, Bill Maher and Chris Distefano traverse a wide array of topics, from the intricacies of modern relationships to the pervasive influence of media and stereotypes in shaping societal attitudes. Their candid and often humorous exchange underscores the importance of open dialogue, empathy, and vigilance in maintaining a balanced and informed perspective in an increasingly polarized world. The conversation serves as a reminder of the complexities of navigating personal beliefs and societal expectations, offering listeners thoughtful insights and a call to engage more deeply with the world around them.

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Notable Quotes

• Bill Maher [04:01]: "I think we were done with this shit. Yeah, but we're never gonna be done with that shit completely."

• Chris Distefano [09:31]: "Kids, like a year and a month old. It was all. It's every single cliché you could ever imagine."

• Bill Maher [43:30]: "People want to believe this thing for whatever actual reasons, feeling reasons, their background, their family, their upbringing."

• Chris Distefano [86:36]: "Americans like abundance, and we like hope. Barack sold us on hope, and we will buy that every single time."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode encapsulates the essence of Club Random—a space where meaningful conversations transcend political boundaries, delving into personal narratives and societal observations. Maher and Distefano's dialogue not only entertains but also provokes critical thinking, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own perceptions and the broader societal constructs that influence them.

Transcript

[Bill Maher]

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[Bill Maher]

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[Chris Distefano]

I just made that up, but I think it sounds good.

[Bill Maher]

The club Random. But it's a disingenuous argument.

[Chris Distefano]

Why is it disingenuous?

[Bill Maher]

Because I just told you.

[Chris Distefano]

You said you can't live there, and I was like, here's another place. Because it's not random. How you doing?

[Bill Maher]

Hey. How are you, man? You were funny on the Tom Brady road.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, thank you, brother. Thank you so much.

[Bill Maher]

I appreciate you having me. I feel like that was the beginning of the vibe change.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Is that the. Is that the. Like, I hate even using the term because it's so belabored, but is that the end of woke.

[Bill Maher]

No. Well, I know I just read a story. There's some, like. There were so many stories like this in the last five years. Some. Some book by some lady and, like, it said, like, the most benign thing. And of course, it's in the mouth of a character. She's just trying to say that, you know, how are you gonna show someone is an asshole unless they act like an asshole? And then they go after her and she, of course. A fucking apology. And, you know, they took it out of the book. I think they canceled her book contract. And I just wanted to say I thought we were done with this shit. Yeah, but we're never gonna be done with that shit completely.

[Chris Distefano]

Not completely. Especially as long as, like, people are afraid.

[Bill Maher]

Oh. But I thought when I saw the Tom Brady roast.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That there was a. That that was a marker in the sand. And, you know, like, all praise to Kevin Hart for, like, pulling that off. Cause, like, I don't think a white guy could have done it. Pulled it off.

[Chris Distefano]

He set a tone and he said it was, like, okay to make fun of him.

[Bill Maher]

Well. And also to say things. I haven't heard people say words on tv. What? Right.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, you could say any bad word, but you. But, like, you. I'm on CNN now. And they don't. When they said, can we put you on cnn, you know, actually doing something.

[Chris Distefano]

Interesting with that Scott Jennings guy.

[Bill Maher]

I call him Lonely Scott because it usually like four people trying to gang up on him. Lonely Scott.

[Chris Distefano]

But they put a guy who seems to be able to like, I guess argue from the conservative side on the show and they let him cook, you know, and I. They used to put like a dumb Scott.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, Scott, of course. Well, you got. Well, my. Look, I love cnn. I'm thrilled to be. I find it such an honor to be back on. Well, that they wanted me on CNN as well as hbo. I mean, HBO I've been with forever. And I get that you thought you were a pariah. Well, I'm just. CNN is like a straight up news organization. So to put me on there without censoring. Yeah, I give them all the props in the world. But, you know, they are trying to recover something that was almost impossible to maintain in the era of Trump, which is. How do you, like, just say it as it is. Which is what they always did. There was people on the left, people on the right. Fox, msnbc, we get it. CNN was down the middle. But you know, when the president does lie.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You have to say he's a liar. And then you look like you're on the left. And they went too far with that. And now they're trying to correct that and get back to like just the place where regular person says, can I.

[Chris Distefano]

Just get like, just tell me what's going on? Yeah, you did, you did something like during COVID that actually was like incredibly inspirational to us.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, thank you.

[Chris Distefano]

And it was the piece about, what was it? The, like the Chinese flu. Do you remember that?

[Bill Maher]

Of course. It was, I think one of our first ones that we did like every, every, what do you call it? Disease has been named after a place phenomenal.

[Chris Distefano]

And it was just like common sense logic. It's so funny, like to even hear that term common sense being used by the. Right now they're going, exactly.

[Bill Maher]

They co opted it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, exactly. So, but you put out this piece and this is how I knew that it really was impactful. I got sent the piece by four different generations of people.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

It was my wife's parents, it was my friends. It was like kids around, like younger, that somebody works for me who's 20 or something like that. And then it was, yeah, maybe something like that. And I was like, oh, okay. So this is cutting deep. People need some sort of. I'm gonna put truth under quotes. Yeah, but we're living in a little bit of a fantasy land and everybody's terrified to say something and the P's cut through and. Yeah, it was super inspirational. Then we started doing these pieces and it. I think. Yeah, I don't know if that's.

[Bill Maher]

That's called them. Your wife's parents. You don't say my in laws, so isn't that weird?

[Chris Distefano]

My in laws?

[Bill Maher]

I don't know. I'm not trying to be your shrink. I'm just saying. Why would you avoid that term?

[Chris Distefano]

Well, my wife's parents, you know, they're not my parents.

[Bill Maher]

I know. I'm just trying to start trouble. How long. How long have you been. How long have you. How long have you been. Are you expecting a flood, bro?

[Chris Distefano]

I keep dripping everything all over the floor.

[Bill Maher]

No, I mean your pants. How much would it cost just to get that? A little bit more pants just to get that extra.

[Chris Distefano]

Am I getting style tips from you? You're wearing a fucking baggy turtleneck.

[Bill Maher]

You're doing so well. Why would you not get the extra? What would it cost? I mean, just that extra bit. Coming onto this podcast. I'm sorry, yes, it rained a little, but we're not going to need to. What?

[Chris Distefano]

What bigger man was wearing that shirt before you put it on today?

[Bill Maher]

Bill, that's a sweater. You know you' I don't like sweaters. But it was cold here.

[Chris Distefano]

Ben Affleck left it with the house Celtic screen.

[Bill Maher]

How long have you been married?

[Chris Distefano]

Three years.

[Bill Maher]

Three years. Oh, so you're like, almost a newlywed.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah. It's early.

[Bill Maher]

And how long did you go out before that?

[Chris Distefano]

That's a good question. Another three? Something like that.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

I think around that I might be getting some of this off, but, yeah. Yeah, we just had a kid. Kids, like a year and a month old.

[Bill Maher]

You have one kid?

[Chris Distefano]

One kid, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

What's that like?

[Chris Distefano]

It was all. It's every single cliche you could ever imagine, right? Like, it's, you know, life changing. No, no, it's literally every cliche. And as a comic, you're, like, shocked because you. Your ego is like, oh, I have unique takes on everything. And then the only emotional reaction you have is the exact cliche that every other person has said about a kid.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I mean, everyone has said that to me. Like, if you had a kid, Bill, you would, you know, And I feel like I'm the first person who would look in the crib and go, not for me. Still nothing.

[Chris Distefano]

So you don't have kids for them.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I don't wanna hurt this kid, but I don't feel especially connected. But maybe that would be wrong. I mean, I don't know when it's your goo that went into a lady and then came out with, like, a mini you. Yeah, I guess it's just. It's sort of an extension of your.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, your selfishness is perfectly aligned. It's. It is. It's amazing how, like, my whole life I thought. And I'm not trying to discredit my pops, who's amazing Pops, but, like, I thought he was doing all these things, like, against his will. Like, he was just being a bear for me and everything and every single basketball game, whatever. And I didn't realize that he could also get joy out of it. And as a parent, you get joy out of it. It sounds incredibly cliche, but.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, believe me, I've seen parents and I've seen the joy. And I wouldn't say I feel like I've missed it, but I'm also very cognizant of the fact that that is a type of joy that people have. That may be a greater joy than anything I've ever had. Maybe I'll tell you a story. I won't say who it is, because I just won't. But it's somebody you would recognize, a name you would know who was a known Lothario. Got married somewhat later in life and was telling me once, this is a while ago, but he had little kids. And he said to me, we were in my old, similar room to this, just a place to smoke and drink and be real. And he said, you know, I was wiping Cheerios off my kid's chin the other day, and I thought to myself, this is better than any fuck I ever had. And about two weeks later, the girl who I was with at the time called me, almost in tears, and she said, bill, you have to get. And it was this guy from. Stop calling me. So apparently it wasn't really bad.

[Chris Distefano]

He was still trying to get after.

[Bill Maher]

And it was my girl.

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I'm just saying. But true story. I'm not saying weird that he's thinking.

[Chris Distefano]

About fucking while he's wiping Cheerios off his.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just saying the I'm better than any fuck I ever had was someone undercut. Two weeks later, when I fuck your.

[Chris Distefano]

Girlfriend.

[Bill Maher]

It'S like, okay, maybe at that moment it seemed like it, but, you know, I want to know who this.

[Chris Distefano]

Good friend of yours is that's trying to fuck your girl.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, this was many years ago in a galaxy far away, and it could be anybody, and let's just leave it at that. But let them speculate. But it was funny to me, but I'm sure there are other people for whom wiping the Cheerios off the chin really is better than any fuck they ever had. And I feel sorry for those people because they obviously fuck badly. No, I'm kidding. Children are wonderful, is what I meant to say.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, of course, of course.

[Bill Maher]

So. But how does it change your life? Obviously, you don't get enough sleep. Right? Is that. Are all those cliches true?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, obviously. But, like, life becomes just a little bit smaller. So, like, so much of your life, I guess, in entertainment is, like, unfortunately dictated by, you know, what you think the perception of you is, or have you achieved these things that you want to achieve. And it is, I would say, equally as comforting. Now, I'm coming from this place where, like, I've made a couple bucks, I'm.

[Bill Maher]

Financially secure, quite a few.

[Chris Distefano]

Doing okay.

[Bill Maher]

Doing great.

[Chris Distefano]

Doing okay. So I care mostly about how my kid and my wife feel about me. And I can feel comfortable if life is good at home. And I'm not as worried if, like, these people on the Internet are saying crazy about me or this thing is happening over here. Immediately, right? Immediately, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Do you feel like it helps you say morally, because something you might do if you didn't have a kid, you'd be more hesitant to do because, I.

[Chris Distefano]

Don'T know, like, I stopped, like.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, come on.

[Chris Distefano]

I stopped, like, doing drugs or whatever, like, smoking and shit like that. I was never, like, a big cigarette guy, but, like, I have a bogey every once in a while and hardly anything. But I stopped doing it just because I'm like, I'm not about to have some, like, fentanyl in some drug that I'm.

[Bill Maher]

No, but, like, say you used to go to Diddy's parties.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes, of course. As we all did you go to a Diddy party?

[Bill Maher]

You must have. No, but I've had a couple of. You know, I used to run into him every once in a while. He was the most charming guy. He would always make you feel like. Even though I didn't know him at all for two minutes, he would make me feel like I was his best friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are people. Trump is like that. They say, of course. You know, I met him a couple very similar, charming, like, charming. And like, you meet him for two minutes and you're like, wow, this guy really likes me. And he told me to call here and then you'd call and just be like, if it's all bullshit, it's like, why I didn't ask for it. I don't need to be your friend. Yeah, but, no, I never went to one of his parties. We didn't get to that level or any level, but like, something like that where, like, oh, you know, I would do this, but I'm not going to because my child will read about it.

[Chris Distefano]

Not that, but I, like, I have no interest in going skydiving anymore. You know what I mean? Like, shit that whenever, like, exciting, like.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't need to do all that shit. Yeah. So I guess I am, like, a little bit more like, risk averse. Not maybe risk averse career wise, but like, shit that I don't actually really care about.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like if I had a kid, I would be walking on eggshells all the time.

[Chris Distefano]

What, constantly? Meaning?

[Bill Maher]

You mean you are.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I'm saying, like, you would.

[Bill Maher]

Like, I would, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Meaning, like the things that you say, like the opinions you have, things I.

[Bill Maher]

The things I do, you know, just, you know, I mean, I wouldn't want to get caught masturbating or, you know, anything that's benign, which is. I mean, that's a very benign thing. We don't treat it like it's a benign thing.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but it's pretty normal.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, but for example, like, no one would ever. If you were like, upstairs and your wife said, honey, dinner. And you, you, I'm doing my taxes. I'll be right down. Nobody was. I'm getting out of the Shelby. Right down. Nobody says, honey, I'm masturbating. I'll be right.

[Chris Distefano]

Because they get insulted.

[Bill Maher]

Even though you should be able to.

[Chris Distefano]

Say that, but they get insulted. I feel like they're like, I think my wife would probably be like, wait, why don't you just want to have sex with me? Like, I'm here. I don't think they understand that these are different things that we do.

[Bill Maher]

Wait, say that again.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I think the woman feels a bit of rejection when you're like, I would prefer to masturbate than just have.

[Bill Maher]

Sex with you as well. She should. Well, shouldn't, Right? Shouldn't she?

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, sometimes you want a little alone time, you know, you want to have this experience with yourself.

[Bill Maher]

I like the question that people say to you when you, when they, you know, if you go to strip clubs, they're like, why? What's. Why do you do it? And I'm always like, I don't know. Must have something to do with the naked women.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I mean. Yeah. I mean, I like girls. I don't think I need to apologize for that. But do you think I'm asking you to apologize? No, no, no, no. But there are people who do. That's the intimation. No, I would say that aside from regretting it, it's not. Having marriage or a kid is like the one thing in my life I'm so glad that I stuck with. You know, like, I made a lot of stupid mistakes, as you do when.

[Chris Distefano]

You'Re young, but not doing that was.

[Bill Maher]

The thing that you. I had the right instinct on that from the beginning.

[Chris Distefano]

For yourself. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I would not be happy with either one of those institutions.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Even though you don't know because you never.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. And it's just a personal thing. I mean, there are. I certainly know people who. I mean, not being facetious about it, they would be lost without their spouse. They would be. You know, they just. This can't be. Now, some of that is codependence. Yeah. But some of it is just real. They're just. Some people really are happier with that one person and. And waking up next to somebody. I mean, this Gene Hackman thing is very suspicious that he's.

[Chris Distefano]

His wife dies a week before and then he dies.

[Bill Maher]

Well, first they said the same day, but it's certainly around the same time, which is very suspicious. Even if it's a week.

[Chris Distefano]

You think he killed himself after.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I don't know. First of all, I find it amusing that everyone's like, oh my God, a 95 year old man is dead. What could it be? This great mystery. He's here one minute and then he's gone at 95. They certainly are intimating that it's some sort of foul play or suicide. And it's not uncommon.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. For spouses to die within close proximity.

[Bill Maher]

This does happen, and sometimes on purpose. Well, I mean, if she. What, you think she just died a week later? I think it's like, I can't. I don't want to live without my spouse.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. And they're basically living for each other. And then when one of them goes, there's not as much of urgency to live.

[Bill Maher]

The branches of the tree have so intertwined.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That you cannot survive without the other. So I mean, if we're gonna put the pro and con column for marriage, I'd put in the con column.

[Chris Distefano]

No, that's pro.

[Bill Maher]

If they. Unless they die and then it's con.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. But they went to 90 because they were with each other. They might have 70.

[Bill Maher]

Whatever happens. Whatever happens at 60.

[Chris Distefano]

How many old people do you know that are, how many like hundred year old people were never married?

[Bill Maher]

Great question. I don't know.

[Chris Distefano]

I think you're the oldest single guy.

[Bill Maher]

Certainly not.

[Chris Distefano]

I think you're the oldest dude that's never been married.

[Bill Maher]

There's lots of single people. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Because Oprah has never been married.

[Chris Distefano]

But she's kind, she's like gay married or whatever. She's like. What is it called? Like domestic partnership.

[Bill Maher]

You talking about Steadman?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Not saying he's gay. I'm just saying they've been together like a, what are you saying? But they've been together like a gay couple where you get married and you know, but without the law.

[Bill Maher]

How do you know what Oprah's relationship is like?

[Chris Distefano]

Because she says that that's her boyfriend.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

So I'm just going to believe it.

[Bill Maher]

That when she says it still, I mean, I haven't seen him in a long time. Maybe. I mean, I mean, whatever it is, whatever she's doing, I'm all for it. I mean, she seems happy.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And so what do you think it is?

[Chris Distefano]

You think that he's like a beard for her? No, I, I, what's your conspiracy on?

[Bill Maher]

I, you know what? My, here's my theory on that. In general, people think that the people in show business.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Are always doing something way more exotic than they're doing to.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you, I'm curious about your thoughts on this. I want to say this guy's name, but he had an interesting theory. Like, and again, I don't want to talk about, like, we'll go whatever, blah, blah. But he was like the overcorrection in Hollywood.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, totally.

[Chris Distefano]

He, he said he chalked it up to this, he chalked it up to Weinstein and he's like. Hollywood started to feel as if the world viewed them as Weinstein and that the two were, you couldn't just separate the two. Therefore, they had to project this, like, extreme revision of what Hollywood could be. Are those connected or is this something that happened way before?

[Bill Maher]

Well, first of all, I would say it's unfair to say that Hollywood is Weinstein. The music industry, that's Weinstein. That is totally Weinstein. The music industry has no rules. It's like rape. It's like a speeding ticket in the music industry. And I know they hate it when I say that, but it's just true. That's the thing. I mean, the Diddy Parties. I mean, I'm sure there was bad shit going on there, but it's not like they were that different and stuff that people in that world, that industry. I mean, any woman, like, who goes after, you know, groupies, as we call them, I mean, they're. They're very often the aggressors.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you get a warped sense of.

[Bill Maher]

That doesn't mean you can rape them.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, I understand what you're saying, but do you think that these people in industry get, like, a warped sense of what they can or can't do to women based on the groupies?

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely, because it's so sexualized, and then it becomes normalized.

[Chris Distefano]

You're like, oh, I can't do this because every girl's trying to deal with me.

[Bill Maher]

You must have stories.

[Chris Distefano]

So you agree with Trump grabbed her by the pussy then? Is that what I'm trying to say? So what you're trying to say is you defend Trump 100% with the grabbed by the pussy. Got it.

[Bill Maher]

No, but. But that is not an unfair description of what goes on in the music industry. If you're a star, they let you do it. If you're a star, they sometimes want you to do it. Not all of them. And that's the problem is that the guys get so used to no woman saying no and just being so aggressive that they just assume every woman is like that. And then once in a while, they run into one who's like, no, I'm an actual person.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I'm a human being.

[Bill Maher]

You can't do that. Yeah, you can't do that. And.

[Chris Distefano]

But this is. I think now the girls are more privy to the fact that they can make way more money off a lawsuit than they can just sucking some guy's dick. So I think they're a lot of them, a lot of these, like, groupies, they used to get the validation from just hooking up with the rapper. I think a lot of them have, you know, switched their. Switch their game plan a bit, and now they're like, wait a minute. No, no. We got to either get pregnant or we got to catch a case.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I always find it amusing when, like, the female rappers, sometimes they're big burn on somebody they're beefing with is like, I could take your man. And I'm thinking, how hard is that to take? Not even just in the music industry, anywhere I can take it. You're no kidding?

[Chris Distefano]

You can't take it? What a threat.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

You could suck my dick, right?

[Bill Maher]

I'll, you know, dress all sexy and act all sexy and grabbis Johnson and.

[Chris Distefano]

They gotta say something like I could make your man listen to my day. You could.

[Bill Maher]

There's a good bit for you. You could do that as a bit. That's fine.

[Chris Distefano]

Make you listen to my day.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, that's impressive. Yeah yeah, yeah. Club Random is brought to you by the audio marketing gurus at radioactive media. 2025 is looking pretty dicey to say the least. There's a lot of confusion and uncertainty out there and things are changing practically by the minute. As a business owner or a cmo, what steps you are taking to ensure your business survives and thrives with something very reliable, why not utilize something stable for your marketing efforts and tap into the power of podcasts and radio? In the US audio reaches more than social media and digital combined. Plus, audio marketing can make you stand out above your competitors and it's more cost effective. My friends at Radioactive Media know the recipe to launch, optimize and scale performance by building compelling audio campaigns which work. Their personal approach and knowledge of the medium is unparalleled. For advertisers who want to reach the right audience with the right hosts and programs, you need to speak with radioactive media. Text random to 511-511-HECK, why not do something innovative and capture business from my legions of listeners and sponsor my show? If you're a mid sized company or a well funded startup, Radioactive can help. They believe in the power of audio so much they even use it themselves right here, right now. Go to Radioactive Media.com or text the word random to 511-511. Discover how audio marketing can surpass your current strategies with new and innovative ways that sound better. Go to Radioactive media or text random to 511-511-text random to 511511 today. Message and data rates may apply. So seriously, who's got time to cook these days, let alone become a professor of Kale studies? Factor's Gourmet Dietitian approved meals beam straight from the fridge to your face in two minutes. No thesis required. Factor Arrives fresh and fully prepared. Perfect for any active, busy lifestyle. Lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks. Factor Keto Meals Based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with Factor Keto. Results will vary depending on diet and exercise. Yeah, okay. If you're going to the refrigerator at 3am to eat a foot long, I can't help you. But with 48 with 4040 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week, it's actually easy to pick meals tailored to your goals. Choose from Preferences like calorie smart, protein plus or keto Factor can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies, breakfast grab and go snacks and more add ons. Reach your goals this year with ingredients you can trust and convenience that you can't beat. Look, I can handle a he did panel debater too, but kitchen Ks is where I draw the line. Factor swoops in, gives me real food that tastes great and I barely have to lift a finger except to raise my fork. So eat smart with factor. Get started@Factor Meals.com Factor Podcast and use code Factor Podcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's code Factor Podcast at Factor Meals.com Factor Podcast to get 50 off plus free shipping on your first box. But you seem like you have a good thing going.

[Chris Distefano]

No, things are cool, man.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, things are cool. That's, you know, in a way that's the best of both worlds. If you can, you know, be in a relationship and be happy. Well, usually what the problem is that people get into relationships, it becomes stale, you know, I mean, I would say you can see, you can literally see it in the tabloids. What they write is bullshit very often, but they can't lie about the looks on celebrities faces. I just saw, who was it? Oh, Kylie Jenner was at a tennis match.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh. With Timmy Chalamet, Right? Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And you could see he's over it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, It's.

[Bill Maher]

You just, they cannot, you can't hide that part of it.

[Chris Distefano]

I wonder if them, some of them don't even know. They can't discern between the attention that they're getting from the media because of the relationship and the actual connection they have with the person. Because if you're in entertainment, Right. A lot of these people like addicted to attention. It doesn't really matter what the attention is. And then you get into a relationship and there's all this buzz and they start going, oh, maybe I really do like this person.

[Bill Maher]

Well, there was a lot of buzz on those two before they even were in a relationship. They just took it to another level. No, I'm not saying it was a.

[Chris Distefano]

Relationship amplifies the buzz. Like you take both fan bases, mix.

[Bill Maher]

Them together, but they were huge to begin with. I just find it funny. I mean, when I watch this video of she's like just trying to get him to pay attention to her and he's watching this tennis match and I'm thinking, wow, we just recognized this guy at the Oscars. He didn't win, but he's recognized now as one of the great. We can't wait to watch this guy for the next 30 years. Such a great actor, but he can't even convince us that he still wants to be with Kylie Jenner. This is an acting job that was too much even for him at that moment. Like, yeah, Olivier couldn't have pulled that off.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he's not being directed. That's the problem.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

He needs to know he's on camera.

[Bill Maher]

I think he still couldn't do it, because when it's over, it's over.

[Chris Distefano]

Have you ever been with somebody that you felt even for a moment, wow, I'm really enjoying the time I'm spending with this person. And I'd like to continue doing this for the foreseeable future.

[Bill Maher]

I did it many times and did it for the foreseeable future many times.

[Chris Distefano]

And when it. When it. When that flame burns out, is it just this immediate conversation where you go, hey, I'm done with this relationship, and I want to drag this on. Or you do, like, the classic thing that we all do, which is like, we're a coward, and we just kind of, like, remove ourselves emotionally and hope they break up with us, and then, you know. Right. Like, try to be the good guy even though we're the asshole.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I don't know you're talking about if we want to get out of it as opposed to being dumped.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, I think a lot of us would rather be dumped when we're the ones that are. We want to be out of it because we don't want to break that person's heart. We still want to be the good guy even though we're going to hurt that person.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I've had it in the past. One time, I could think of maybe twice where I was kind of where you. What you're described. I really wanted out of this relationship. It was bad. But you.

[Chris Distefano]

You didn't want to hurt her.

[Bill Maher]

It just is hard. I mean, relationships are, like wars. They're easy to get into and hard to get out of. And this was Ukraine, you know, I just. I just. I needed to, like, fucking just give him the Donbas region, give her the Donbass region and just take whatever you want. You know what I mean? When you're dealing with Putin sometimes. Not that I agree with that, but it's so funny. Like, when I finally was. Pushed it to the point and said, you know this, I just can't do it one more day. Then, like, you know, the second she's like, well, okay, Then you're like, what?

[Chris Distefano]

Don't reject me.

[Bill Maher]

You know, like you're not, you know, if they're not sufficiently. It's just, it's more about. You want them to be a little hurt about ego. I feel a lot of this.

[Chris Distefano]

So you need a lot. You need love on the way out too. That's selfish.

[Bill Maher]

Well, no, look, I mean, I, I, I believe in love and I've had it and know it well and have it now.

[Chris Distefano]

But you have a, you have a girlfriend right now.

[Bill Maher]

Well, let's not get too specific. We don't like to put. What do you call it?

[Chris Distefano]

Not a girlfriend. Right. What do you call it? Like I call partner?

[Bill Maher]

I call it love. And that's the most important thing.

[Chris Distefano]

That's beautiful.

[Bill Maher]

If you have love, you know, it's just a different way of your life is just different.

[Chris Distefano]

Asian girl.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, and you know, I couldn't be happy without it. I have been, you know, but it's just different. It's better. I mean, it is, but it's a dimension that you just don't have otherwise. But, you know, it has nothing to do with marriage. I mean, people, many people are in loveless marriages. The trick is to keep love alive in marriage and even harder, lust, you know, that's, that's really, that in any relation. And that really doesn't have anything to do with the piece of paper that says you're married. That's just his time.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. You know, that's something you need, though. You really need the lust. You need to be lusted over.

[Bill Maher]

I do. I, I feel exactly. She needs to desire you, crave you, and vice versa. Eye of the tiger, you know, you have. I mean, I can't live without that.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm going with these Asian references.

[Bill Maher]

I've tried. I've tried. I've made that mistake before. And thinking, oh, you know what? How many hours a week do you spend having sex? You know, it's not the majority of the time. So why put the. I could be 100 years old and spend one minute a week having sex. It would still be. Water flows downhill and that's the direction it flows. And it's just pointless to try to stop it or prevent it or not think about it. I see that they make something now called a loyalty ring. I'm not making this up because I just read it. We have a new rule about it this week. A loyalty ring which can read a man's biometrics and tell alert the girlfriend or the wife.

[Chris Distefano]

It's time to clear the balls.

[Bill Maher]

That he's aroused when he's not with you.

[Chris Distefano]

That's funny, dude.

[Bill Maher]

It's not funny to me.

[Chris Distefano]

No, it's funny that she's gonna learn that he's more aroused when he' not with her.

[Bill Maher]

Right. We're just. We're just.

[Chris Distefano]

You don't want to know that.

[Bill Maher]

You don't. Yeah. Some things are better not known.

[Chris Distefano]

He's at the Equinox Gym steam room. That rings. You're gonna learn some things about your.

[Bill Maher]

Husband that would be. That's funny. I didn't take it in that direction, but that. That happens too.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

It's probably a net positive for society, though, Marriage.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. Are you kidding?

[Chris Distefano]

That's the thing.

[Bill Maher]

Just children.

[Chris Distefano]

So that's the thing that is tricky. Like. Like, I think a lot of times people get. They react emotionally to these things. Like, you know, they might hear you saying that and they're like, oh, he's against what I'm doing.

[Bill Maher]

But not at all. Exactly. Not at all.

[Chris Distefano]

So there's a difference between, like, wanting to do something for yourself but acknowledging totally personal.

[Bill Maher]

Just let us all be who we are. I mean, it's so funny when people judge you or me for this being basically who I am, because they're the same people who, if I was gay or trans, would be all like, we're born this way. We should. You know, like, everything has to. And I agree with that. You are born that way, or if you're trans, you're actually not born that way. Whatever you want to do, whatever blows your dress.

[Chris Distefano]

I think it's like your. Your opinions are so strong that people assume you're trying to project those opinions on people who disagree with you, and you really don't give a. What they do.

[Bill Maher]

That's interesting. I really don't.

[Chris Distefano]

But I. But I don't know if it comes across because people aren't used to strong opinions. I mean, I grew up in New York, so we have. We're very opinionated people with. And oftentimes with minimal information. And that's what makes the opinions so good.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I like someone who knows exactly how they feel about the world without researching anything. That's the most interesting person on the planet. So is like. But, but, but. Yeah, I think it, like we feel like it's encroaching on our lifestyle.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Well, you know what? But there's lots of things I do that have lost me fans, and there's lots of things I do like that. That have gained me, like, the most loyal fans and I think the best fans in the world, the smartest sort of most willing to have an open mind because you push them. Because you have to have an open mind or else you're gonna hate me because I'm gonna say something that is like, not what I already believe. And my fans want that. It's like, oh, that's better.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's an opinion I haven't thought of.

[Bill Maher]

That I haven't thought of. And if you're the kind of person I don't hate these kind of people, but you know, I understand when they can't hang. Let's face it, after a night with drinks, I don't bounce back the next day like I used to. And I hate to waste a day. So I had to make a choice. I can either have a great night or a great next day. That is until I found Pre Alcohol zbiotics Pre Alcohol Probiotic Drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. I kept hearing about pre alcohol and wondered what it was actually like. Now I get why everyone's talking about it. And with their GMO technology, Zebiotics is continuing to invent probiotics that will help with everyday challenges of modern living. Zebiotics Pre Alcohol Probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it when you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for your rough next day. Pre alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make Pre alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and you'll feel your best tomorrow. This March Madness. Don't let anything sideline your celebrations. Grab Pre Alcohol before you go out and be ready to cheer on your team all day and night. All night long. Go to ZBiotics.com random to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use Random at Check Check out. Zebiotics is backed with 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason, they'll refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to zbiotics.com random and use the code random at checkout for 15% off. So we've all heard of speed dating. Those awkward few minutes where you pretend you're interesting enough. Now, if you're a boss juggling a million responsibilities, how about a version tailored to hiring, which is why I Love ziprecruiter one time slot Multiple, well qualified candidates. It's like a job fair in a reality show. Had a baby. More America's Got Employment than Bachelor in Paradise. You cut down on the back and forth scheduling and they get a fair shot to pitch themselves without you nodding off mid interview. Win win. Well, good news there is it's zip intro from ZipRecruiter. You can post your job today and start talking to qualified candidates tomorrow. And right now you can try Zip Intro for free at ZipRecruiter.com random Zip Intro gives you the power to quickly assess excellent candidates for your job via back to back video calls. You simply pick a time and Zip Intro does all the work of finding and scheduling qualified candidates for you. Then you can choose who you want to talk to and meet with great people as soon as the next day. So easy. Because let's face it, if the dating apps won't hook you up, at least ZipRecruiter can find you a decent employee. Enjoy the benefits of speed hiring with new Zip Intro only from ZipRecruiter, rated number one hiring site based on G2. Try Zip Zip Intro for free at ZipRecruiter.com random again that ZipRecruiter.com random zip intro post jobs today. Talk to qualified candidates tomorrow.

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There's that, there's that Jonathan Haidt book. Oh yeah, the Righteous Mind. It's called.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah sure.

[Chris Distefano]

And it was just really interesting to me. Just this idea that like, and it makes sense afterwards of course where you're like we're emotional beings and then we retrofit justifications for our emotions with our brain. So it knee jerk reaction is how I am emotionally. And like once I started understanding that you'd hear all these like dweebs like Ben Shapiro. They're like, like effects. Don't care about your feelings. It's like it's the exact opposite, right? It's like the feelings don't care about your facts. Like you have to meet people where they feel things. If you're not meeting people where they feel things, you're gonna completely miss them. Or you're gonna be stuck in this little ideological bubble where you're constantly having to appease whatever they feel and you can't like actually create anything authentically.

[Bill Maher]

I think that's mostly right, that people want to believe this thing for whatever actual reasons, feeling reasons, emotional reasons, their background, their family, their upbringing, whatever. And then they will find, especially if they have a brilliant mind like Ben does.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, he's a clearly very smart guy.

[Bill Maher]

So they will find the reasoning to go back, but it comes from the feeling. I think you're right.

[Chris Distefano]

Starts at the feeling.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so cognizant of this all the time. I may be guilty of that myself, but I try to be the least guilty of that. That is exactly what I'm Trying to. I'll give you a great example. I mean, nobody on the left has been a bigger supporter of Israel than me.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Bill Maher]

And believe me, they know that in Israel and I appreciate that and I wish I could come and visit them, as they keep asking me, but that's just, I'm just, I'm almost 70, I'm not going overseas anymore. Okay, but there's somebody who the Trump administration just.

[Chris Distefano]

That's the reason. That's the reason I was waiting for.

[Bill Maher]

No, that is the reason I was.

[Chris Distefano]

Waiting for, like there's a war happening.

[Bill Maher]

And you're simply just like, I'm not traveling. No, it has nothing to do with the war and everything to do with my urinary tract. Okay, so Israel, I want you all.

[Chris Distefano]

To know that he has a gig in Minnesota in a couple weeks.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, I stopped doing that too.

[Chris Distefano]

Really?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I quit at the end of last year. Okay, go. So the Trump administration's right now deporting this guy who's, I'll just say a Palestinian rabble rouser. Columbia Universe. Exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

What?

[Bill Maher]

Who You.

[Chris Distefano]

Khalil something.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, Khalil. And he's right on the edge of like inciting terrorism. But no. Okay. If I was just going by emotions. Yes, I think, I love it that Trump is throwing this dirt bag out of the country. I will defend him to the death. Because I'm a free speech guy. You got to be consistent. If I'm always on the right for what they're doing against free speech, which I am, and way always on the left. I mean, you said woke. I don't wanna talk about woke. I'm always fucking with the woke. The woke hate me more than anybody for good reason, because when I stick the knife into them, when they deserve it, it goes right to the bone, which it should, because they don't believe in it either. So here's a case where, yes, emotionally, because I'm a supporter of Israel, I would like to see this guy out of the country. No, you can't just throw people out because you don't like their speech.

[Chris Distefano]

Especially if you give them or you grant them some form of, I don't know if he had a citizenship, maybe a visa or something like that. But you're essentially giving these green card. He has a green card. So if he has a green card, you're giving them the opportunities to be an American, exist as an American for this amount of years.

[Bill Maher]

But if you have the green card, you are, you do have the same rights as an American citizen.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what I'm saying.

[Bill Maher]

Right, okay.

[Chris Distefano]

So we have to give that person those rights.

[Bill Maher]

You have to.

[Chris Distefano]

As annoying as that is, as annoying as it is, you probably should have looked into his resume before you gave.

[Bill Maher]

Him the green card, because that's always what. And it's very hard to. I would say not more than 20% of the people in this country can you get on that opinion. Everybody else is just always gonna go right to defending the speech of the people they like.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. This is what we constantly do.

[Bill Maher]

We're hypocrites, but, like, such hypocrites.

[Chris Distefano]

But this is the thing we have to like, this is where it gets frustrating, these arguments is like, if we know we're hypocrites, we can't cry about it. We have to meet people where they are.

[Bill Maher]

Correct.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. So, like, I mean, I'm sure you've seen on Twitter, like, everybody's talking about, you know, Israel, and, like, it seems like there's waning support in America for Israel.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, absolutely.

[Chris Distefano]

So. So here's so an example which you hear people say all the time, like, obviously, the. The politicians have no clue how to communicate, most of them. And they're just like, well, this is our closest ally. And then you get asked why, and they go, oh, they don't know, because they're just being told that they're the closest ally.

[Bill Maher]

Well, who's the closest ally in the Middle East?

[Chris Distefano]

Regardless of what it is, it's like.

[Bill Maher]

I think, well, that's very important. They're the closest ally in the Middle east because they're the only country in the entire Middle East.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Bill Maher]

That anyone in this country, these fucking hypocrites would even survive for a week in. You wouldn't want to live.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know if that's true anymore. Like, the uae I've been to the.

[Bill Maher]

UAE is not the Muslim world, if you're talking about.

[Chris Distefano]

But they're in the Middle East. That's what you're talking about.

[Bill Maher]

But you're talking about a tiny, tiny percentage of what typical life is like in 60 Muslim countries. You're talking about a little enclave that they carved out so Westerners could come and spend their money.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

We're talking about less than. Far less than 1% of the way life is. Like, you would not want to live even in a moderate country like Jordan, and your wife certainly wouldn't enjoy living there.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, okay, that's. You're making logical points.

[Bill Maher]

Well, these are factual points.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, sure, they're factual.

[Bill Maher]

They are.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. But it doesn't matter. It's like I gave you another option. That is true.

[Bill Maher]

Well, but it's. It's.

[Chris Distefano]

I think, matter of fact, I would even argue that life is more relatable to the average American in the UAE or in Dubai than it is in.

[Bill Maher]

Again. But it's a disingenuous argument.

[Chris Distefano]

Why is it disingenuous?

[Bill Maher]

Because I just told you.

[Chris Distefano]

Because you said you can't live there. And I was like, here's another place.

[Bill Maher]

Because it's not typical. I said the entire Middle East. So if I. Okay, so, okay, here's the thing. If I say you have to move somewhere in America and I'm gonna throw a dart at a map with a blindfold on, and could you survive anywhere else in America where that dart. You absolutely could. You could live in Salt Lake City. You could live anywhere in America. If I throw a dart at a map of the entire all 60 Muslim majority countries, will you say you'll live there?

[Chris Distefano]

I could survive in every single one of them.

[Bill Maher]

You couldn't. In fact, I don't know. What.

[Chris Distefano]

How could I not? I'm not a gay guy.

[Bill Maher]

I could live in any single one of them. In Kabul, your wife would have to wear a head to toe burqa ever.

[Chris Distefano]

That's on her. Okay, you're talking about me surviving. You're like, I could live very comfortably in every single country. Like, again, let's not move the goalposts. You're asking if I could live comfortably.

[Bill Maher]

You could live with yourself knowing that that's how women are treated in your world.

[Chris Distefano]

I hate this moral argument. Like, we give a fuck about women around the world. Like, no, but this is like, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You said you'd be happy.

[Chris Distefano]

This is such a bullshit argument.

[Bill Maher]

It's a central bullshit argument.

[Chris Distefano]

I didn't say happy. I said I could live. You keep moving the goalposts.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, cool. I'm sorry.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's stay on what you say. I could live easily in every single one of the countries outside of the wars that are existing. But you're saying in peacetime. Easily, easily, easily. You live easily.

[Bill Maher]

You could easily live in Kabula. Afghanistan.

[Chris Distefano]

Is there war happening? Is the Taliban doing their thing?

[Bill Maher]

No war. No war. War's over.

[Chris Distefano]

War's over. I could. I could kick it. I could kick it in Kabul for a month, easy. Enjoying life now? Am I doing standup every night? No. But could I take a little vacation?

[Bill Maher]

I don't know if you're kidding with me.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm just telling you, it's.

[Bill Maher]

I. I think that I'll give You two options. Either you're kidding or this is stupid.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, that's this pretentious ass shit.

[Bill Maher]

It's not pretentious.

[Chris Distefano]

You're doing the thing that you.

[Bill Maher]

It's not pretentious.

[Chris Distefano]

You are doing the thing that you.

[Bill Maher]

Could live in Kabul and happy this art get by or you could be no big deal.

[Chris Distefano]

You're doing this thing that gets.

[Bill Maher]

It's not. It's not virtue signaling, you say.

[Chris Distefano]

I didn't say virtue signaling, but that is. If you don't agree with me, you're dumb is why Trump is elected and this is what Democrats do.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but sometimes dumb is dumb.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but people are dumb, so deal with that shit. Like, like, stop acting like everybody's smart. Like, this is. The problem is, like, you have all these people that go to Ivy League schools and they're like, we know better than everybody else and we'll just tell you what to do. And you guys are all stupid. And I know you feel like you want this, but you don't really want this. And if you disagree with me, you're an idiot. And then all of a sudden they go, you know what? Fuck you guys. I'm going for that one. And it's very simple.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, that's true, too.

[Chris Distefano]

So we can't speak down to people if we know that they're going to react emotionally. I guess what I'm trying to say is, even with the, like, for example, the Israel conversation, right? So if I know people are reacting emotionally to this. Right. Who is the burden on? If. If we have this deep connection with Israel, which I believe we do. Right. I think the burden is on Israel to prove to the American people who definitely they rely on for support in this conflict. I think that the burden is on them to communicate to the American people why it's advantageous to America to continue to support them. Like, and if they can't communicate a reason you can't. You can't be upset at the American people for being confused about it. We have that same energy towards Ukraine. We go, wait a minute, they're getting how many billion dollars okay, over here if eggs were cheap, I don't care about where you throw the money, but once eggs get expensive, I start going, where's the money going? $200 million going over there. So when economic times are very difficult here in America or any country in the world, there's going to be some questions asked about where this money is going.

[Bill Maher]

As there should be.

[Chris Distefano]

As they should be. I think it's a very normal thing and unfortunately for Jews, when economic times turn shitty in countries, people start looking and they go, I think it might be their fault.

[Bill Maher]

But why is that throughout history?

[Chris Distefano]

Because there's an. There's an ambient energy towards Jews. This is just my opinion, but ambient energy to Jews.

[Bill Maher]

What a great phrase. An ambient energy. You're so right.

[Chris Distefano]

Because it's not a bright light bulb.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a small one. And it comes from the fact that most people don't know Jews. They've never met a Jew. They have no fucking clue. They think Jews are like Jerry Seinfeld. They have no clue that they're Sephardic Jews. They have no clue that there's these African Jews.

[Bill Maher]

Try being one in Kabula, Afghanistan.

[Chris Distefano]

It's probably difficult. So, like, they just don't understand what it is. Right. They've never met one.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

They only know the stereotypes. And I think they kind of almost like, lock up Jews into the similar ilk as, like, the Rockefellers or the Vanderbilts. They think they're these elitist people. I don't think Jews even realize that, because I think Jews are not. All Jews are going, yeah, yeah, we're rich and we have all this money. They're just going, I think a lot of Jews in the Northeast are looking at the Rockefellers and the Vanderbilts going, that's some pretty cool. I mean, Ralph Lauren definitely was like, hey, that WASP stuff, that's pretty cool.

[Bill Maher]

I want to do that. Right?

[Chris Distefano]

Right. There's like, an envy of. Of the wasps in the Northeast from the Jews. I feel like almost. I mean, I feel like they really. They admire it anyway. The average person is looking at them as, like, these elites that they can't touch. And I think that there's, like, religious teachings that see, like, this separatism. It's like they're not trying to proselytize. Why don't they care if I go to heaven? Like, my whole life is about trying to get as many people to go to heaven as I possibly can. But, like, they don't. They don't care. I think it's just hard for them to get. And this ambient light that has this kind of these negative stereotypes they own or control. And when the economy's good, I don't give a fuck. I don't care if you're sending USAID to do training plays in fucking Pakistan. I don't care. But the second I can't afford eggs, I go, no more training plays. And why is that? Group of people seem to have a lot of power, right? And that light that's ambient gets bright.

[Bill Maher]

That's not wrong. And you're right, I shouldn't say stupid. Thanks, Paul. You know, I mean, you're right, I get excited sometimes and I blame the pot. But you're right, I can think it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you don't say it.

[Bill Maher]

I'm still thinking. But you're right, you shouldn't say. No, you're right, I shouldn't say it.

[Chris Distefano]

I say this all the time, like.

[Bill Maher]

But you wouldn't survive in couple anyway.

[Chris Distefano]

I say this all the time to people like, like, like when we get into these arguments, like, like I don't even want to talk, but like, the trans is like a perfect example. Like, I was talking to this, this journalist and you know, I was like, what do you think we disagree on? And he goes, ah, well, you know, some of the trans stuff or whatever. I'm like, well, what about. And he's like, ah, well, you know, the, the trans women in sports. And I was like, well, what do you think about the trans women sports? He's like, honestly, I think it's a red herring that the, the, the, the right uses. And I go, you didn't answer my question.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

And he goes, well, I mean, you know, I just feel like it's not really a talking point that really, that matters that much. And it's like, I said this, I go, listen, if I say something that bothers my wife, I don't explain to her why she shouldn't be bothered. Smart that. I've done that for years and it drives her crazy.

[Bill Maher]

I've learned that. Well, women too, we learned that the hard way. We learned it the hard way.

[Chris Distefano]

What we do is we go, okay, I'm sorry that I made you feel that way.

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Chris Distefano]

We meet them where they're feeling. And I feel like so much in the discourse, it's like explaining with facts why the other person is wrong instead of understanding what they're experiencing and just.

[Bill Maher]

Feeling, you know, I mean, this honestly is what I've been preaching. I'm sure, you know, but like on my show, that's why I'm here, you know, I mean, Kid Rock was here a couple of weeks ago and he said, I want you to meet Trump. He said, I'm gonna take you to the White House. So now we're gonna do that. And like, there will be lots of people on the left who will be like, how dare you talk to this man? I'm like, fuck you. You know, I'm not playing this game that you mean girls play where like, oh, you know what? You can't sit at my lunch table because I'm just not talking to you. Not talking to you. You lost the election. Who the fuck do you think you have to talk to? You know, it's one thing if you win it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It's another thing if you lose it.

[Chris Distefano]

You gotta start talking to people.

[Bill Maher]

Have to talk. And I see Gavin Newsom is doing this now. He's changed his tune. He's got a podcast and the first guest was Charlie Kirk.

[Chris Distefano]

I thought that was, you know, I thought that was brilliant.

[Bill Maher]

You have to mention me. He said, like, I take my. I'm noticing what Bill does. Talks to both sides. Like, is left leaning, but not afraid to criticize the people on his team. Like, we gotta get more of this going.

[Chris Distefano]

There's. They always.

[Bill Maher]

This has to become the center. This has to become a real center right now. It's like, it's a. It's a few lonely islands that I need to, like, become a bigger fucking sandbar.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, no, for real, you're right. Like, it needs to be normalized. And I think.

[Bill Maher]

Normalized, Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

I think we're so. I think that Americans, we like bravery, you know, like, we. We have very. What is it? High risk tolerance. Meaning, like, we take risk. Like, I think it's kind of like in our DNA to take risk. All of our family, whoever came here from your family years ago, they left their entire family and they just moved here. So we just have the DNA of crazy people, really, that are, like, willing to risk it. All right? So when we see people that are afraid of having conversations, I think there's like, almost like a primal, instinctual reaction to it.

[Bill Maher]

It's not American. It's.

[Chris Distefano]

It's unamerican. And I think that was. I don't want to politicize this shit, but, like, I think that was a little bit of the concern with. With Kamala on the campaign trail, you know, it looked like Trump was willing to talk to whoever he was. He was like, his camp, when we spoke to him, they didn't give us any notes.

[Bill Maher]

He's going to talk to me. Okay. And think about who's been meaner than me.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, only J.D. vance. J.D. vance is the only one who said meaner shit about Trump than you.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, well, lots of people have, but, like, I mean, you know, and he said, I have five pages of things. I asked my staff once, and I guess it's six now because it's been a while. Just write down all the things he said in tweets. And at rallies. It's five pages long. Crazy. Low energy ratings, disaster. You know, like every bad thing that he just pulls out of his ass. But I don't. I don't care. And he doesn't care.

[Chris Distefano]

He doesn't care either.

[Bill Maher]

He doesn't care.

[Chris Distefano]

And you don't give a.

[Bill Maher]

It's all performative. Like, not on. I mean, look.

[Chris Distefano]

No, you guys might feel it, but it wouldn't stop you guys from having a discussion with other. Because you're not pussies.

[Bill Maher]

We're not pussies.

[Chris Distefano]

It's very simple. It's like, are you a pussy? Are you not?

[Bill Maher]

And I, I learned that once. I know my longest relationship, way back in the early 90s. And her father was military.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And he and I did not see eye to eye politically, but he liked me because I wasn't a pussy. That's my model for meeting Trump. It's like, you know, be respectful, which he deserves. He was not one, but twice. Like, funny. My girl said to me, what are you going to wear? I said, I'm not going to dress like Zelensky.

[Chris Distefano]

Not a fucking Lululemon outfit.

[Bill Maher]

It's not going to be a black T shirt looking like a yogurt. Going to be a black T shirt, man. I am wearing a suit and tie.

[Chris Distefano]

Absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

Jordan Peterson gave me a suit. He sat here and he said, like, I want you to have a suit. And Jordan, I don't need. I don't like suits. I'm going to send you a suit. I'm going to wear that suit.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep. Dud.

[Bill Maher]

The Jordan Peterson approved suit.

[Chris Distefano]

It's a good. I mean, I guess, whatever. It's a sign of respect, but it's.

[Bill Maher]

A sign of respect. It's the White House.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Even if, Even if you disagree with the person in it, you are respecting the law of the lands. You're respecting the position in general.

[Bill Maher]

And you also have to respect that, you know, the guy did win. It's more than half the country or whatever. I mean, and I keep saying it. I'm not going to hate. You cannot like Trump. You can hate him. You can't hate everybody who vote for him. Yes. I said it in my last special. I don't hate half the country, and I don't want to hate half the country.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, it's just not where my mind ever wants to go for my own mental health is all this hate. So, yes, I will talk to anybody. And it's, you know, know, it's. It's an honor to be invited to the White House under any circumstances.

[Chris Distefano]

Absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

So, you know, also it allows you.

[Chris Distefano]

To have a platform with him where you can tell him the things you disagree with. Like any.

[Bill Maher]

I think it's. It's. It's. It's somebody.

[Chris Distefano]

Somebody's saying that to me.

[Bill Maher]

Generous. They were like to allow that to happen.

[Chris Distefano]

Of course. But this is also part of American discourse. Is very important. Like, even the. Like. I think he needs to do the White House correspondence dinner just because I think a very unique thing about it, totally, like, we humble our heroes and is a very beautiful thing about American culture. Right. Is that we will make you beg for our support every four years. You don't just get to be king.

[Bill Maher]

That's why it was great when Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes. We take the piss out of the big ones.

[Chris Distefano]

Big ones, the elites.

[Bill Maher]

We take the piss out of them.

[Chris Distefano]

And you saw the reaction, right?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Everyday people.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. Visceral.

[Chris Distefano]

It was visceral. And I think it's important.

[Bill Maher]

And that the Tom Brady roast kind of got back to that 100.

[Chris Distefano]

Here's this guy whose life is perfect. He's got absolutely everything.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

He's submitting himself and that. That. But look, that's the human interaction. It is. I'm sure that when you got successful and, like, you know, I. I get some success. Like, you realize, oh, there are all these people that are, like, they're hating on me for things that, like, aren't even true, and they're saying these things about me.

[Bill Maher]

It's like a compliment.

[Chris Distefano]

That also, that's a part of success. Like, that's, That's. That's the cost of success. It is what it is.

[Bill Maher]

But they care enough. You're not writing about them facts.

[Chris Distefano]

But it is. It is a beautiful part of American culture where we get to, like, hold. We got to put the heroes up at a pedestal and also humble them at the same time. And the thing about Trump doing is, like, he's already done a roast, so it's not like he's afraid to do a roast, you know? So I, I think we got to get back to that.

[Bill Maher]

Now, you did have some ground rules, though, for the ghost. Yeah. I think it was just, Nikki, don't say he's broke. That's it.

[Chris Distefano]

I've heard that before. Don't say he's broke.

[Bill Maher]

Just isn't that crazy?

[Chris Distefano]

He's like, yo, talk about my kids.

[Bill Maher]

I'm a racist cheater.

[Chris Distefano]

Don't say I'm poor.

[Bill Maher]

Just do not say I'm Poor is the worst that you could possibly be. I know.

[Chris Distefano]

Why do you think that he's able to connect to working class people despite coming from money?

[Bill Maher]

He is them. I mean, he is. Did you see the Apprentice? The movie?

[Chris Distefano]

No, no. But I.

[Bill Maher]

May I suggest a date night with the wife? Yes, yes, please, please. It's such a great movie.

[Chris Distefano]

This is with Sebastian Stan, right?

[Bill Maher]

Correct. Who is brilliant in it. It's funny, I saw him as Tommy Lee. I didn't really love that performance or movie. But he is so brilliant as Trump. And it's a brilliant movie that was not given its due. Even though both he and Jeremy Strong were nominated as best actor, both of them should have been. Or maybe it was best supporting, but whatever it was, they were both brilliant performances. Jeremy Strong as Roy Cohen, who apprenticed Trump to be who he is. But of course, we're in such a politicized time that the people who just can't stand Trump hate that it humanized him.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wow. It wasn't mean enough.

[Bill Maher]

It wasn't mean enough. It's funny. The first half of it before he meets Roy Cullen. It does humanize him because he's a human. So, like, it shows him when he was first, like, working for his father.

[Chris Distefano]

That's funny.

[Bill Maher]

And he's collecting.

[Chris Distefano]

How dare you humanize a human being?

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I think he's a human being who has a narcissistic syndrome that makes it hard for him to be.

[Chris Distefano]

Logical, who ran for president, is a narcissist.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, so. Well, not to that. Not to the crazy idea. Nobody has been a narcissist to that degree. So please.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't know if that's true.

[Bill Maher]

True. Yeah. Okay, well, we. It's good that we don't agree on everything and still can be friends. But anyway, the.

[Chris Distefano]

Go on, go on.

[Bill Maher]

The point is that in the first half of the movie. Yeah, like, it's just how he started out in life. Like he was collecting rents for his father. He didn't start out like, okay, so he's collecting rents. And, you know, when you collect rents.

[Chris Distefano]

From people, you talk to people.

[Bill Maher]

Like, one person opens the door and throws hot water at him.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Like, people do that when you go to collect. So it's not like he started with the silver spoon. Exactly. He did to a degree, but it just shows, like, he wasn't, like, everywhere where we. And then, you know. And then the second half, it's the opposite. The Trump people think that's too rough on him. So everybody abandoned the movie. But for those 20% in the middle, it's for sure. Who are willing to just watch a piece of art for a piece of art. It's a fantastic movie, and it really gets at a lot of. What's wrong with our discourse, is that you can't just look at the movie. You have to make a political decision about it.

[Chris Distefano]

And this is how, like, this is how I think people get caught up in. Like, they don't even create based on their own opinions. They create based on the algorithm. Like, the algorithm teaches them what they want to do.

[Bill Maher]

So true.

[Chris Distefano]

Right? Because they see a video, get, like, a lot of views, and they go, ooh, I guess this is what I want to do. And it's like, oh, no, no. You just never had an interesting thought by yourself. You're waiting for something to stick, and you want attention. Attention. Right. It's like the people who made that movie actually had the bravery of going, I'm gonna potentially piss off both sides. That would support this.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

And what you're Left with is 20%.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

Which is. I mean, I don't know. That's why I think it's. And what I said to you in the beginning, like, that's why I think it's brave. When you're willing to piss off your base. I think it's very important. It is, but what you get is the trust.

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Chris Distefano]

How many people are trusted? People will trust you, even if they disagree with you. They'll be like, but he's not grifting. He's not lying.

[Bill Maher]

It means the world to me.

[Chris Distefano]

And when you meet people, there's a connection that they have with you. And then there's other people who are just. They're like. What I would say is more grift where you go, I know what the base wants. I'm going to echo those sentiments. They're going to consume it because it makes them feel good. But the second that I disagree with them, they will.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, Matt Taibbi has written brilliant on this, and he says. Well, he. I mean, he's a big media critic, and some of it, I think, goes over the top. But his basic thesis, and he's so true, was that media at some point became a group of people who. The way they run their businesses. First we ask, how would the audience that we're servicing want us to interpret this story?

[Chris Distefano]

Yep.

[Bill Maher]

And then we give them that. Now, of course, a lot of them become brainwashed and they just already think. But, yeah, but that's not what media used to do. It's not what it's supposed to do.

[Chris Distefano]

So it's so funny. It's like there was a show on Fox called Red Eye. Do you remember that show? Where, like, comics would go on it and they basically just. You could. You could just go and like, it was a great opportunity for a young comic. And you make fun of different shit, right? And like, I was in. It was on Fox, Fox News, like super late at night.

[Bill Maher]

Fox News, Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Greg Gutfeld hosted it before he had his show.

[Bill Maher]

Not Fox. Fox News.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, Fox News.

[Bill Maher]

That's why I never saw it, probably, but.

[Chris Distefano]

But there was like, it was. It was a cool opportunity. As like a young comic, you're like, sure. And this does connect to what you were just saying. But I remember I would go on and like, I was so naive, dude. Like, I grew up in New York City. Like, I don't fucking know. Like, I thought that there was some. Whatever and every. I don't know, I thought that there was like a little bit of authenticity or purity to what we were doing. I didn't know that there was like an agenda. Right. So I'm just on here. Who's doing to the program, right? Or even to the network. So I'm going. So some story about like some random college in like, Oregon, about like, hey, we're not gonna. We're gonna like a no white people on campus day or something. But like some random.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I know the story.

[Chris Distefano]

You remember the story.

[Bill Maher]

Rhett Weinstein was the professor, right. Who got. Lost a job for it, right? Yes. They had like. I don't know what was officially called that, but it was basically no white people something.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Bill Maher]

Because white people are toxic. And so we can't have.

[Chris Distefano]

It's absurd and ridiculous. And then, like, I remember us talking about it and I was like. And I sat on the show and I was like, sway. Is this like kind of what we do? We just take like the most obscure, ridiculous left wing thing and we just pretend that that's like, what everybody thinks.

[Bill Maher]

That's what Tucker Carlson does every night.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So I didn't. You got. I'm. I grew up in New York City in a fucking dance family. My parents had a dance studio. Like, is that right? Yeah. Like, it's as Democrat as it could possibly be. Right? So, like, I'm here and I'm seeing this and I'm just like, what's going on here? And then everybody kind of looked at me like, I didn't know what the schtick was. Like, it was like, like, you know, like, I Broke the kayfabe or whatever they call it in wrestling. Like. And I didn't get that. Like, sometimes you don't even need to communicate to the people on your network what they need to do.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

It's like in the ethos, when you're in the building, you want to get raises, you want to be rewarded. So you start echoing the sentiments and reward the people that are echoing it, and then the other people fall in line. So no one explicitly has to tell you these are our points of view.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I said almost the exact same thing recently, and somebody who I mentioned in it got mad at me.

[Chris Distefano]

Who, Tucker?

[Bill Maher]

No, I'm not gonna say.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

But I don't want to make it a feud. And I actually apologized. I didn't want to. Maybe I shouldn't have brought up specific names. But I was saying almost the same thing that you're saying that. Like. Like, it's amazing how we just get kind of seduced by the people around us and the people, you know, who are providing the craft services, you know, like. No, you also fall into it. I'm eating your donuts. What am I gonna be against the candidate? Come on.

[Chris Distefano]

This guy's probably a good guy, right?

[Bill Maher]

I didn't buy this donut, and I'm gonna.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you fall. And that's like, a human thing. You just fall into it.

[Bill Maher]

So it's. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I'm curious.

[Bill Maher]

It is, like, it is a constant matter of vigilance not to. So I. That's why I. I so applaud the 20%. I mean, I'm picking that number out of my ass, but it's probably close. So applaud them because it's not easy. I mean, I do it for a living. It takes courage. It's okay. I'm getting paid to do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And you're not. You're just doing it as a citizen.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what I.

[Bill Maher]

And a thinker.

[Chris Distefano]

I always say this, like, whenever I'm going through something or somebody's trying to, like, position me in some certain way. And I have empathy for them doing that, by the way. Like, they see a headline.

[Bill Maher]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

And they don't understand the context of anything, and then.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

Their views about the world, they might see something like that, and they'll be like, I don't agree with this type of stuff. And then they put that on me. And that's okay. I'm sure I've done that a million times with people.

[Bill Maher]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

It is what it is. It's a human thing.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

But I have. I have, like, a great appreciation to the people that will defend me, despite what the idea about me might be, because they get nothing out of it besides wanting to show support to someone they care about.

[Bill Maher]

About.

[Chris Distefano]

Like you said, you get paid. Like, we're able to do comedy and podcasts with your shows. Like, it's really awesome. But the fan that's willing to take that on the chin, like they're at a family dinner and they're going, yeah, I was watching Bill. And they go, oh, you know what he said about that? Like that.

[Bill Maher]

So true.

[Chris Distefano]

They're incredible.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. The peer pressure of work, co workers. You know, newsrooms have become kindergartens because it's the mob mentality of the newsroom. Many. I'm not making this up. Many people have written stories about this, like the newsroom at the Washington Post or the New York Times is such a mean girls emporium. And if you step outside the bounds of what the group think is. I mean, we've seen this many times at the New York Times. Bari Weiss had to leave and she started the Free Press.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, she was great.

[Bill Maher]

I was just talking about her. Yes, and Nellie Bowles, her wife. The same thing. New York Times. And they just. Pamela Paul, who I just was on Real Time the week before and loved her columns in the New York Times, which were not unreasonable at all. They were exactly where I am. I always agreed with. They're leaning left, but. But unafraid to call out, woke on nonsense. And she apparently couldn't survive there. I mean, that is a very bad place for media to be in.

[Chris Distefano]

I think there's this tricky decision where it's like, hey, we can also criticize the administration when they do things wrong. Like, they're in power now when they weren't in power. I understand how you want to get them into power. So you're like, let's turn a blind eye to things that we maybe disagree with now. They're in control. They are the institution. We have to criticize them. This is part of.

[Bill Maher]

So you won and you're in. You get the jokes.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it.

[Bill Maher]

You won. You're in. You get the jokes. Well, we'll see if he agrees at the dinner.

[Chris Distefano]

This is why disseminating disinformation and talking to the people you disagree with is really important.

[Bill Maher]

Very important.

[Chris Distefano]

Because there's a lot of people, myself included, just uneducated people who will go with a trend that kind of makes me feel good. As someone who pays a lot of taxes. I'm from New York I'm like, yeah, I pay all these fucking taxes. What am I getting at? Right? And then I need somebody to go and have a conversation where it's like, I can never.

[Bill Maher]

No story that I read anywhere. Do I trust fully. I have to read a second story or a third about this subject before I feel like, okay, now I got the full story. Why didn't you first assholes tell me the full story?

[Chris Distefano]

Because people don't want the full story.

[Bill Maher]

They really don't.

[Chris Distefano]

They want to feel good, right?

[Bill Maher]

They want to feel good.

[Chris Distefano]

Feeling good. And you know, who knows that? These corporations, not even corporate, but these businesses that run these, you know, and masturbators. Oh, God, do they know it.

[Bill Maher]

We just want to feel good. Are we bad people?

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Bill Maher]

Bad. We're not bad people. No.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, you know, it's.

[Bill Maher]

Monkeys do it, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Have you ever watched. Did you watch that Chimp Empire show on Netflix?

[Bill Maher]

No, but I'm a big fan of chimps and I support their cause monetarily. I support him for chimp cause. Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

You put your money behind the chest?

[Bill Maher]

Yes, absolutely. The producer, one of the producers of my show is. Has a big charity for chimps. It's a big.

[Chris Distefano]

I met them tonight, right?

[Bill Maher]

No, no, my. My. My real time show, my HBO show. And that charity, they have a big chimp foundation, chimp foundation, and a chimp reserve in Georgia.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, wow.

[Bill Maher]

Where the chimps can be chimps. They can chimp it up, you know, no tuxedos.

[Chris Distefano]

None. They get to let her rip out there.

[Bill Maher]

No tuxedos, no cigars, no riding tricycles.

[Chris Distefano]

You gotta watch this Chimp Empire show. And it's like, you kind of watch it and you're like, oh, this is too close to who we are.

[Bill Maher]

Like, they're very close. True.

[Chris Distefano]

They're close. And then there's other things that.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Like this idea of, like, having to, like, maintain the alpha. Right. Like, you also see how that's disruptive in terms of, like, creating any technology, like, sharing any advantageous information. Like, there's this one dude who needs to show he's alpha, and every once in a while he just fucks up everything in the neighbor. He's like a. Like a drunk dad or whatever.

[Bill Maher]

Just comes around a chimp now.

[Chris Distefano]

Chimp. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, okay.

[Chris Distefano]

And he's like, I need to show everybody I'm alpha. So he just starts fights with people, fucks shit up and does whatever. And the problem with that is that you can't sit around and develop fire when you're worried that this guy is going to punch you in the back of the head every second. So everybody's just kind of like on edge, hoping this Alpha won't start shit.

[Bill Maher]

And doesn't that describe. I'm sorry, but doesn't describe today's administration?

[Chris Distefano]

Talk to me.

[Bill Maher]

We just talk to me.

[Chris Distefano]

If you push back against me. If you push back against me.

[Bill Maher]

Just sounds exactly like what's going on now with the tariffs and everything else. And like, he's going to take over Greenland and we're going to invade Canada. And everybody is just like, is this Alpha just going to do some crazy shit? I mean, the stock market is down over a thousand points. I'm sure that affects you a little bit.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

[Bill Maher]

You have stock.

[Chris Distefano]

I do have stocks. I should know more about it.

[Bill Maher]

But, yeah, don't panic. It'll go back up.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what we hope. Yep.

[Bill Maher]

But, you know, it does. I'm sorry, but it just. When you said that, I can't help but think that's exactly what Elon Musk, you know, brilliant guy. I defended him many times, more than most people have. But, you know, I don't like that he. I don't like. I support that. He took Twitter and turned it into something freer, but he just turned it into something really almost as right wing as it used to be. Left wing, which would be okay, too, except that he very often retweets some of the worst stuff. Why? He had a great idea that, oh, I can go in with my doge boys and find the waste. But the way he did it was very. I'm on the spectrum.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I think there is that. And I think he is on the spectrum. And it's probably harder to relate emotionally to things. I am a little bit more optimistic about the intentions of the administration. It doesn't mean it's gonna work out, but I don't think that Musk is trying to get richer.

[Bill Maher]

No. Like, I think he's definitely not. I've always defended him on that. He does not care about money.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, he's got all the money.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I think he thinks that this actually will help America.

[Bill Maher]

I've been with him at. And he did not have a house. Yeah, he was, like, staying at a friend's house.

[Chris Distefano]

It doesn't matter.

[Bill Maher]

He will sleep on the couch or sleep at the Tesla factory, as he did to get that going. I think he's, you know, he brags about we work the weekends. You know, he's a. Let's have pizza at 1 in the morning and keep working and then sleep here. That's what. He's an engineer. That's what turns him on.

[Chris Distefano]

And I respect that. I think it's important.

[Bill Maher]

Right. But nobody, like, put any sort of brakes on this. And to do it this way and to take such glee in the cruelty of it. The people who got letters that said, do something valuable with your life. Now, you can't tell me that that's.

[Chris Distefano]

These are the things that are antagonistic and twisting the knife that I don't think is helpful for the discourse.

[Bill Maher]

Horrible.

[Chris Distefano]

But I will say that, like, I think if there's one thing Democrats could learn, it's the importance of the American sentiment, where it's like, Americans like abundance, and we like hope. Barack sold us on hope, and we will buy that every single time. I think America, I think that sometimes Democrats are too, like, safe. They don't sell me on abundance. It's like Trump goes, we're gonna take Greenland. We're not even really gonna take it, but he says it. And then Americans go, all right, that might be kind of cool, right? So Democrats, what is your Build the wall?

[Bill Maher]

I think it is kind of cool. As long as it's not by.

[Chris Distefano]

If it's consensual, it's cool.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

But if you're growing up in Greenland, you don't want to be part of America like Greenland.

[Bill Maher]

We're not raping it. We're asking. We're asking. It's consensual. So it's a consensual thing.

[Chris Distefano]

What I would tell anybody, like, what I would try to explain to Democrats is, like, you have to give us hope and abundance. Like, I need a slogan. Build a wall is emblematic of something that people feel, right? So it could be as simple as, like, dollar eggs. Hey, if we get in power, we are subsidizing eggs. You'll never have to worry about getting your kid eggs. It's a dollar egg.

[Bill Maher]

That is a road you don't want to go down. You do not want to go down. Subsidizing food staples. It's what they do in third World countries.

[Chris Distefano]

What we do in America. That's what we do with the dairy industry. It's what we do with the rice industry is what we do.

[Bill Maher]

Well, we do it.

[Chris Distefano]

The corn industry, like, of course we've been doing it for years.

[Bill Maher]

We do it further down the. The trail. Like, I'm. Yes. On the. On the chain. They do, like, grain and stuff. Yeah, you're right. But not like, at The. You're talking. It sounds to me like you're talking on the supermarket level.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I'm talking about on the farmer level. And again, listen, I.

[Bill Maher]

The chicken.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm talking about the chickens.

[Bill Maher]

But what comes first?

[Chris Distefano]

You know what?

[Bill Maher]

Has anyone ever really asked that question?

[Chris Distefano]

Now we're getting into it.

[Bill Maher]

Does anyone ever really.

[Chris Distefano]

It's more about, like, how do you. How do you communicate to Americans that we want to meet you at your needs? And how are we going to say that? And how are we going to say certain things that are going to penetrate the discourse? Americans don't have a fucking. Like, Democrats don't have a slogan that tells a hardworking but poor American that they're going to be able to get more.

[Bill Maher]

They had a slogan in the last election. It was free tits for prisoners. Okay. Not a great one. That.

[Chris Distefano]

That crushed. Dude, it was so funny. That one commercial, I. I've been talking to the guy. I don't know if he wants me to main nameless, but the guy who made the commercial, the Trump is for you.

[Bill Maher]

She's for them. That's.

[Chris Distefano]

And they open with, you know, Charlemagne, you know, Charlamagne, the guy. Him and I do a podcast together.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I know you do.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. So, like, it was. He's amazing.

[Bill Maher]

Tell him I. Tell him I said hi.

[Chris Distefano]

I absolutely will.

[Bill Maher]

And every time he. He references me on the show, it really tickles me laughing. Hey, I got to go home and watch Bill Maher.

[Chris Distefano]

He watches you. Religion.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I know he has a lot.

[Chris Distefano]

Of respect for you, but he's the goat. He is, like, to me, he's, like.

[Bill Maher]

A great reach, great influence, and also.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I don't know if this is fair, but a lot of times I judge people, like, based on, like, where they've come from and how far they've gotten in their life, you know, like, so to go from, you know, billionaire to, like, 1.1 billion isn't as impressive as to go from trailer park in South Carolina to one of the most powerful voices in. Is like. Anyway, but we're talking about that. Like, just knowing how that kind of ended up happening is kind of funny. But, like, how do. How do Democrats start communicating? Because. Say what you want about AOC's politics. She communicates to the people in her district that she wants to help them. Bernie communicated in a way that he wanted to help people. Right. I think AOC and Trump pulled the same in her district. What does that say? That says that those same people will cross the political lines to the people they feel are Looking out for their best interests. So how do Democrats start organizing in a way?

[Bill Maher]

I mean I, I would check that stat on Trump and AFC polling.

[Chris Distefano]

I just made that up. But I think it sounds good.

[Bill Maher]

You know what I mean?

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I think, hey, I think it sounds good. Hey, you know, about that Bronx district.

[Bill Maher]

I love the honesty even more than dishonest.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, no. I think there is facts there. They pulled very similarly in the area.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean she, here's what did happen. Trump did very well in the Bronx. You're right. Yeah, Trump did very well. That could be a true stat, like favorability rating. But that was one of the districts that was most shocking to leftists. You're right.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, and they should learn like, like instead of, I think the knee jerk reaction is to make the opposition radioactive. And so like guys, they like the opposition.

[Bill Maher]

The first thing Democrats have to do is stop the bleeding on the left, on the far left. Stop people from being able to go, you know, I don't really like Trump and he seems pretty bad with women and that doesn't sit well with me. And the wife sure hates him. But you know what, at least he likes America. At least he thinks women are the only ones who can have babies. You know, things like that. Those are the things that people go, I just can't vote for those people. They just seem crazy. They just seem like they are not tethered to reality, which is when you lose that contest to Donald Trump, who's also not tethered to reality in many ways. I mean, you're saying something, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

I wonder if like, and again, I don't know too much about like the Ilhan Omar's politics or whatever.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, Ilhan Omar, Is that who you're talking about?

[Chris Distefano]

Elon Omar, you call her Elon Omar?

[Bill Maher]

I call her that because that's her name. She's the representative from Minnesota. I think, whatever, maybe I'm saying it wrong.

[Chris Distefano]

Ilhan, I thought it was, but I guess I think that like whatever it.

[Bill Maher]

Is, I don't like her.

[Chris Distefano]

So the point that I'm trying to make here is that like is she.

[Bill Maher]

A representative of America or Palestine is my question.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, here's the thing that's important. It's like, I think that she has the, and I don't even know if she understands this as privilege, but like she has an identity outside of being America American. Like she, she has this separate identity from another country that has thousands of years of history and that's baked into who she is.

[Bill Maher]

Some of us where you Would happily live.

[Chris Distefano]

Why? I would happily live, like. And it would be so great.

[Bill Maher]

And, you know, she married her brother.

[Chris Distefano]

And it is what it is.

[Bill Maher]

So you could do that.

[Chris Distefano]

I mean, if I had a sister that.

[Bill Maher]

No, you can marry your sister. I don't know what you could do.

[Chris Distefano]

But the point is, you could do.

[Bill Maher]

Anything to a woman. Okay. So let's just put that right on the table.

[Chris Distefano]

So. So the point I'm trying to make is, like, some of us only have America. We only have this. So when you attack this, I'm gonna defend it till the day I die. I love America more than anything in the entire world. It's the greatest country in human existence, is the greatest experiment in existence, and it has succeeded. So we only have this. You have to find a way to communicate what you believe to be the shortcomings of America in a way that doesn't make us feel. Feel like you don't love it.

[Bill Maher]

Totally.

[Chris Distefano]

My mom is an immigrant. She loves, like. You cannot tell my mom that she cannot. That I cannot achieve anything. That she cannot achieve anything in this country. It's one of the reasons why I think it's important to bring in immigrants because they remind us of the opportunity.

[Bill Maher]

And they're appreciative because they know what it's like in these other countries.

[Chris Distefano]

And we don't. We don't.

[Bill Maher]

Right. Well, I do. You don't.

[Chris Distefano]

Because you would live in Colombia because of your UTIs. You won't even leave the country.

[Bill Maher]

I. I don't have to. First of all, I have traveled. And second of all, you don't have to travel to understand what's going on.

[Chris Distefano]

Have you lived outside the country?

[Bill Maher]

No, but I read. I can read about what's there.

[Chris Distefano]

This is. This Ivy League. That's so annoying to me.

[Bill Maher]

Reading. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes. Stop reading so much. It's gay.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, now I see you're just with me when you say these things. Okay, but, but, but, but in terms.

[Chris Distefano]

Of living outside, like, I've lived outside the country, and it's important to. I haven't lived in the Middle east, but living in Spain, there are little things that you will appreciate that we have here. That even in a major city in Spain that they didn't have an AC unit.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Chris Distefano]

Like a little thing we take for granted.

[Bill Maher]

Totally.

[Chris Distefano]

That we don't realize how amazing we have it here.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. And that's just the physical part of it. Yes. The technological part of it. The toilets always work. That kind of stuff. But it's also. We do have free speech. That they don't even have. In Europe. I mean, in Europe, you and I both would get a knock on the door from the police in some countries. Germany, I mean, 60 Minutes just did a story on this.

[Chris Distefano]

He would definitely get a knock on the door in Germany.

[Bill Maher]

Eye opening. Well, because if you say something, I'm making. No, I know. If you say something like, really? I feel like mildly insulting about a political leader, they can knock on your door and like, take away your. It's crazy. They don't have the same tradition of free speech as we have here. They don't have a First Amendment. It is pretty awesome. And we take it for granted. We do. So it's the physical part. It's that part. It's also this part. We have this idea, as with all our problems and all our shittiness, people have the idea here that tomorrow can always be different. You can always reinvent yourself. You can start something new. There's not other countries, including the Western European democracies, which are great countries, but, you know, in France, you take the baccalaureate when you're 16. You kind of. Your life is kind of there decided at 16.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, really?

[Bill Maher]

Yes. You're either gonna go on to be a tradesman or a professional of some sort. They're much more structured and strictured than we are. And this country is kind of like, okay, well, tomorrow I will be an influencer who eats my asshole. You know, you can make that work. I don't admire that. You can, but people make shit work and don't have this idea that there's any cutting down of the tallest trees. Everything is open. And there is a greatness in that.

[Chris Distefano]

This is something that you cannot underestimate. When Americans lose, every American thinks they're going to be a millionaire the day they're born. They're like, I'm going to be a millionaire one. And we run on that. That is the energy that we run on. And the second Americans start to feel like that's not an opportunity for them, shit gets dark fast.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

You need to do whatever you can to reinforce this idea that it's really immigrant mentality, even though the people are born here.

[Bill Maher]

Totally. Absolutely.

[Chris Distefano]

You can make it.

[Bill Maher]

You can.

[Chris Distefano]

And that's what makes. I mean. I mean, that was at the forefront of everything.

[Bill Maher]

The reason why it resonates in people's minds is because it does happen, you.

[Chris Distefano]

See, Become millionaires, like, actual people who are. Can become millionaires. You know, what I realized is, like, a lot of times, I think the perception of comedians is that, like, we Say something and if you are offended by it, we're angry. And it's like, you can react however you want to react to things. Like, I don't police your reaction. If you're offended, that's okay.

[Bill Maher]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

But. And if. If I was talking to you and you're like, hey, that, that. That makes me feel uncomfortable. That works. I just won't say it around you.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

I don't care. Like, but that doesn't mean I won't continue to make a joke that might have it in it or say something with other people. But on a one. On one level, like, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.

[Bill Maher]

Do you look through your social media and see what people are mad at you about?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I think. I check. I also think it's, like, important to get like a litmus test. Like, if I'm writing something, like, if I'm writing my. My hour. Right. I block out a everything because I don't want to create for my haters. I feel like a lot of people fall in that trap of, like, how can I appease the people that don't like me? I want to make something that I really believe in and I think is, like, honest and authentic to me. And then after releasing it, I think it's important to understand, like, how you're taken in the marketplace. Oh, do people think I'm this. There are people who think I'm like this right wing maga lunatic because I had Trump on the podcast.

[Bill Maher]

I think that. No, I'm kidding. But what a great segue to plug your special.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, I don't want to do that. No, no, I do that. I do want to. Okay, okay.

[Bill Maher]

But you know, you just said I spend my hour writing. I'm interested in that. You purposely write the special. You don't. It's not like the stuff you gather over.

[Chris Distefano]

No, I gathered that, like, this one was different. Like, this one is. It's basically.

[Bill Maher]

And it's called.

[Chris Distefano]

It's called Life. But it's.

[Bill Maher]

And it's on Netflix.

[Chris Distefano]

It's on Netflix. And.

[Bill Maher]

And it's on now.

[Chris Distefano]

It's on now.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And it's basically about me trying to get my wife pregnant. And, like, I found out my sperm sucks.

[Bill Maher]

So science knows how to do that now.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, we had to use science. That's the story, right? Yeah. So it's.

[Bill Maher]

What'd you have to do? Turkey baster.

[Chris Distefano]

I had to do. No, we tried turkey baster. The iu.

[Bill Maher]

Are you serious?

[Chris Distefano]

That didn't work?

[Bill Maher]

No. And don't do use one that you used with the turkey. That's what the problem was.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I used that. And, yeah, my wife gave.

[Bill Maher]

Jugglers came out.

[Chris Distefano]

So. But yeah, so it was just this story of us having to do it. Like, usually the woman is the one that's obviously concerned about her eggs and these things, but with me, damn it.

[Bill Maher]

I was gonna do that bit.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, right. You would never have kids.

[Bill Maher]

How about, I was trying to get a girl pregnant with a.

[Chris Distefano]

You're out there trying to fucking boycott.

[Bill Maher]

But you did finally get it done. What was the problem?

[Chris Distefano]

Why my sperm doesn't swim and it's shaped weird.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. It always comes down to something silly like that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And I don't feel that that in any way affects your masculinity. I don't think that at all. I think you're just as masculine as the next guy, if the next guy is Richard. Anyway, dude, you want to know what's.

[Chris Distefano]

Crazy, like, emotional reaction when. When obviously I had, like, whatever interactions with the doctor about. But, like, there was this, like, week or two afterwards where I thought that, like, primally, my wife would no longer be attracted to me. Like, there would be this, like, instinctual thing that would happen.

[Bill Maher]

There is absolutely. You may not think it, but it's absolutely true. It's called the ick.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, I don't believe in Nick.

[Bill Maher]

I don't believe in it. You may not believe in the ick, but it believes in you.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, I don't believe in it. I'll tell you why I don't believe in it. I think there's so much societal pressure on women to be married that they would rather be with a person that they don't like than alone. I think women are terrified of being alone.

[Bill Maher]

Certainly that describes the world of yesteryear. I think women today. I think you're describing something that is a little in the past.

[Chris Distefano]

No, no, not that.

[Bill Maher]

There aren't many women like that still.

[Chris Distefano]

There are.

[Bill Maher]

Are, but I think way less than there was 25 years ago.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's say maybe there is. But let's say, hypothetically, some of them are still locked into these institutions. Obviously. Like, you grew up religious, right? Not you, but, like, someone Catholic.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, some. Some women grew up religious. Right. That have, like, they have strong family values in the religion.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Chris Distefano]

Catholics, Jews, Christians. And there's this huge pressure to, like, get married and, like, start a family.

[Bill Maher]

Sure.

[Chris Distefano]

And I think that that pressure that women have, men don't have it. Like, our biggest fear is being with someone we hate. Hate. Clearly. You have it, right.

[Bill Maher]

Clearly.

[Chris Distefano]

This guy got a whole bunker.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like I've walked the walk.

[Chris Distefano]

If you can see this whole room, it says single. Like, there's a stripper pole behind me.

[Bill Maher]

Well, my tax form says single. You know, I don't. I'm not trying to hide it, man. So.

[Chris Distefano]

So, like, I. I think what happens is these girls end up in. They end up relating in relationships with these dudes that they actually don't like. And then when you don't like someone and you are with them, everything about them disgusts you.

[Bill Maher]

It's because, you know, you settled, and that's a horrible thing to live with.

[Chris Distefano]

That's the ick.

[Bill Maher]

That's the ick.

[Chris Distefano]

So what I'm trying to say is it's women's fault.

[Bill Maher]

No, it's very true. I mean, you said that there's societal pressure and religious pressure, family pressure. There's also biological pressure. It is just part of a lot of women's DNA. I should make and take care of a man and be a nurturer and have children and nurture them and. Nothing wrong with that.

[Chris Distefano]

No, it's beautiful.

[Bill Maher]

And you can do that and still be a brilliant person, but do it.

[Chris Distefano]

With someone that you like so that you don't have to say.

[Bill Maher]

But if you know. But you know people, it's like a game of musical chairs. At a certain point, you fear the music is gonna stop, and you're the one without the chair, so you're gonna go for a chair, and then that's the problem. You're married to a chair. That's not a fun existence. It. It's not a fun existence.

[Chris Distefano]

So you got to hope you get it right. And. And the older you get, I think the harder it is. Like, if you're trying to meet somebody at 40, right, and you're meeting another person around that age, like, you both have built these lives that are completely separate. Like, the odds of you being able to connect to that person and all your little idiosyncrasies matching up, that's one in a million.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I did it at 63, but that's all I'm going to say about so far.

[Chris Distefano]

So far.

[Bill Maher]

Loved meeting you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I love being you, too, man.

[Bill Maher]

Man. Thank you so much. I'm so flattered that you came out here to do this, because I know you're busy, and I know your career is on a skyrocket.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, thank you.

[Bill Maher]

So the fact that you would come here and do this with me in my crib, I really appreciate anytime.

[Chris Distefano]

Man. This is so much fun.

[Bill Maher]

A real honor. Thank you dude.

[Chris Distefano]

That was fun.

[Bill Maher]

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