Bryan Cranston | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

Summary

Club Random Classics with Bill Maher – Bryan Cranston

Date: April 16, 2026
Podcast: Club Random
Host: Bill Maher
Guest: Bryan Cranston

---

Episode Overview

This "Club Random Classics" episode features an engaging and wide-ranging conversation between Bill Maher and acclaimed actor Bryan Cranston. The pair reminisce about their parallel upbringings, Catholic childhoods, and careers in entertainment, while also diving into a forthright debate about race, privilege, and the state of America. The tone is classic Club Random: candid, witty, thoughtful, and, at times, delightfully irreverent. Maher and Cranston riff on everything from church candles and tequila to their views on critical race theory, Hollywood, and growing older in showbiz.

---

Key Topics & Insights

1. Catholic Upbringing and Early Memories

[07:00–13:30]

• Bill and Bryan swap stories of growing up Catholic, sitting through rituals and sermons, and the bizarre routines of their youth.
• Both admit being bored and traumatized by church experiences, and share mischievous moments with the church collection plate.
  • "The only thing we could have fun with in the Catholic Church in those days was, are we going to stand next or are we going to kneel next?" – Cranston [07:15]
  • "I always thought, how do they get that job? The guys look like pool skimmers." – Cranston on collection plates [10:50]
• Maher describes how his Jewish mother never attended church ("A hint should have been that she never went to church with my sister and my father and I." – Maher [09:11]) and how the experience of catechism affected him.
• Both comment on how their childhood religious experiences turned them off organized faith.

---

2. Acting, Tequila, and the Origins of Mezcal

[02:21–04:29, 24:23–25:27]

• Cranston discusses his Mezcal company and the distinctions between tequila and mezcal.
  • "Actually, it's the other way around. Tequila is a Mezcal." – Cranston [03:04]
• Maher jokes about drinking, health, and favorite sodas.
• Reflections on Mel Gibson, the Passion of the Christ, and directors as storytellers. Both praise Gibson’s filmmaking but remark on his personal controversies.

---

3. Race, Privilege & America’s Past and Present

[14:23–35:18; 40:25–42:17; Primary Debate: 18:11–35:18]

Slavery, Progress & Teaching History

• Maher insists that judging historical figures needs context, noting “if you’re going to cancel Jefferson in Washington, you have to cancel Jesus, because he never spoke against it [slavery].” [14:25]
• Cranston counters that society hasn’t reckoned with the impact of systemic racism.
  • "For God's sakes, It's time. It's 400 years...our country still has not taken responsibility or accountability for...systemic racism..." – Cranston [18:11]
• They debate critical race theory (CRT), with Bryan supporting its teaching and Bill expressing concern about how far it goes in schools:
  • "If you're telling five year olds that you’re either an oppressor or someone who was oppressed, you're introducing ideas about race that are inappropriate..." – Maher [22:16]
  • "How do you govern that?" – Cranston [22:15]
• Cranston emphasizes the need to confront and own up to America’s history; Maher presses that meaningful progress has occurred and not everyone should be seen as “seething racists” today.
• The “Make America Great Again” slogan gets dissected:
  • "I understand to a certain number of people, that's a dog whistle about America was better when it was whiter. I get that." – Maher [28:08]
  • "When was it great for African Americans in this country?" – Cranston [28:47]

Privilege, Generational Change & Woke Debates

• Cranston asks Maher about white privilege, with Maher preferring “advantage” as a broader term [29:30].
• Both agree on the major progress in American society but differ on whether the current generation understands racial issues.
  • "They don't understand it, but they are innately that way." – Cranston on unconscious bias [32:21]
  • "Oh, Lord...is that white fragility or some bullshit like that?" – Maher [32:28]
• They discuss diversity in Congress, the limits of woke culture, and the difference between “liberalism” and “wokeism”:
  • “Liberalism is about lifting people up. Woke isn’t just about self loathing and hating yourself and scolding everybody and virtue signaling. It doesn't actually help anybody.” – Maher [33:50]

Memorable Banter

• Cranston: "How can we bridge the chasm that has been created between this divisive world that we live in?" [35:18]
• The mood frequently swings from sincere and serious to playful and comedic.

---

4. Hollywood Stories: Casting, Privilege, and Acting Philosophy

[39:06–47:51]

• Cranston and Maher recall meeting on set (“Murder She Wrote”) and early career moments.
• Both reflect on being “groomed” for stardom and taking every job that came their way.
  • "Your agent calls you and you're saying yes before...they hang up the phone." – Cranston [41:42]
  • They joke about the grind of auditioning, being typecast, and how certain roles could have “ruined” their career trajectories.
  • "I could have done 10 years on a show and then...never been able to do what I really do." – Maher [48:17]
• Discussion of Maher’s shows: "Politically Incorrect" and "Real Time," and how their careers evolved with the times.
  • "Politically Incorrect was...a planned train wreck. It was four people who should never have been together in the same room." – Maher [49:14]
  • "We both went exactly where we should have gone. I was not an actor...An actor is the opposite of what I do." – Maher [47:30]

---

5. Representation, Art, and the Limits of Wokeness

[58:42–60:47]

• Cranston recounts the backlash he received for playing a quadriplegic in "The Upside," with some claiming only disabled actors should play disabled roles.
  • "I am an able bodied actor playing a disabled actor...it's kind of a catch 22." – Cranston [58:56]
• Maher argues for the principle of acting:
  • "Sean Penn had the great line...you can only play Hamlet if you're a prince from Denmark. It's called acting. It's almost the whole point that you are doing something that you are not." – Maher [59:02]
• They recognize representation is important, but push back on purity tests or literal casting standards.

---

6. Parenting, Generational Change, and Vegas Plans

[38:05–38:51, 68:39–73:21]

• Both reminisce about growing up with much more freedom and less “helicopter” parenting.

  • "There was no helicopter parenting." – Maher [38:15]
  • "My mom and dad, they didn't know where I was. I'd come home, I hop on my bike." – Cranston [38:05]

• The concept of “bulldozer parenting” and contemporary privileged parenting styles gets mocked.

• The show closes with genuine warmth and plans to see Maher’s show in Vegas:

  • "I'm just saying be prepared to have your picture taken at the Spearmint Rhino at 2:00 am. It's Vegas." – Maher [69:05]
  • Both men riff nostalgically on “road” movies and the classic Hollywood duo dynamic.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

On Religion and Childhood

• "Why are they doing this to kids? I remember like it was a punishment."
  — Cranston [13:14]

• “I probably made the movie ‘Religulous’ out of...how much I was turned off to religion back then when they scared the shit out of me.”
  — Maher [07:55]

On Race, Progress, and CRT

• “What about your boy Jesus, the prince of peace? Because he’s got sweet fucketh all to say about [slavery]… Don’t you think that should be maybe in the top ten [commandments]?”
  — Maher [15:32]

• "Critical race theory, I think, is essential to be teaching."
  — Cranston [18:29]

• “If you mean we should honestly teach our past. Of course. If you mean...America is irredeemable, that's just wrong.”
  — Maher [21:29]

On Privilege

• “Do you believe in white privilege?”—Cranston [29:27]
  “I like the word advantage better because advantage is broader.”—Maher [29:30]

• "I want... Did you know when you were a child, did you know that segregation was all through...?"
  — Cranston [26:10]

On Acting & Representation

• “It has to make sense...if you're playing Jim Thorpe, you gotta be able to run. We lost all common sense."
  — Maher [60:02]

• “I am...an able bodied actor playing a disabled actor. It's a kind of a catch 22..."
  — Cranston [58:56]

Genuine Connection

• “I admire the respect the—out of you. You have, over the decades, been the voice of reason.”
  — Cranston [76:00]

• “We both went exactly where we should have gone. I was not an actor... An actor is the opposite of what I do.”
  — Maher [47:30]

---

Episode Timeline

• [01:21] – Bill introduces the “Club Random Classic” with Cranston: hinting at stories about acting, parenting, and race.
• [07:04–17:23] – Catholic upbringing, church stories, religious skepticism.
• [18:11–35:18] – Detailed, heated but civil discussion about racism, progress, CRT, privilege, the MAGA slogan.
• [39:06–47:51] – Old Hollywood stories, casting mishaps, early career.
• [58:42–60:47] – On disabled roles, representation, and acting philosophy.
• [68:39–69:33] – Plans to visit Maher’s Vegas show, friendship banter.
• [75:33–77:18] – Episode wrap-up, mutual respect, and comedic close.

---

Overall Tone and Takeaways

The conversation effortlessly blends weighty, sometimes contentious topics with relatable anecdotes and humor, reflecting a rare rapport. Both men bring honesty and warmth, moving fluidly from debates on America’s racial history and privilege to toasting life, art, and friendship in their sixties. Whether reminiscing about showbiz, lampooning "wokeness," or planning a raucous Vegas weekend, Maher and Cranston show how real debates (with disagreement!) can remain human, smart, and fun.

---

For listeners:
This episode is a great example of how two sharp minds can fiercely debate tough topics and still share real respect and laughter—offering both food for thought and plenty of laughs, even if you never watched "Murder She Wrote" or tried Cranston’s mezcal.

Transcript

[Bryan Cranston]

Amazon presents Jeff vs. Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's verde roja or the orange one, for Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea and milk. Habanero. More like Habanero. Yes, save the everyday with Amazon. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big wireless Way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Commercial/Announcer]

of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available. These extra see full [e-mail] Spring isn't just about clearing clutter. It's about changing the air. Pura makes it easy to refresh your space, your mindset, and how your home feels with transportive fragrances inspired by a terrace in Santorini, a French lavender field, and more. Get started with a free Pura plus diffuser when you subscribe to 2 cents monthly for a year. Shop [e-mail] well, in our next club

[Bill Maher]

Random classic, we revisit my conversation with Bryan Cranston. Oh, I love him. He's got stories from his acting days that'll make your jaw drop. Wow, sounds good. We get into parenting and privilege in a way that actually means something. And then we debate critical race theory. We did. Wow, I must have been high. Well, I'm sure it's good then. Which made headlines because apparently two people having an honest conversation is newsworthy.

[Bryan Cranston]

I've had a Zippo lighter in the past when I was doing they never

[Bill Maher]

if I don't put in every five times. But in Vietnam they were always like burning the village.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's all Zippo you can't light a fucking cigar with.

[Bill Maher]

How did it always work in the jungle of the Mekong River?

[Bryan Cranston]

Because Zippos work when it's nice and moist out.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Bryan Cranston]

No, no.

[Bill Maher]

But you know, do you drink?

[Bryan Cranston]

I do. Well, you know, we have my booze over here.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, why am I asking? I'm asking a guy who's got a giant tequila company.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's not the only thing.

[Bill Maher]

Can I try your dust ombre? Would you? I feel like we're doing it infomercial. Would you? Can I try it? Step up to the food's refreshing flavor It's.

[Bryan Cranston]

It is. It is a great little sipping thing. I love it.

[Bill Maher]

You always drank tequila.

[Bryan Cranston]

I've been drinking. No, actually, Mezcal. This is Mezcal. And our Mezcal has been around now for three and a half years.

[Bill Maher]

Mezcal?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, That's.

[Bill Maher]

What is it, a type of tequila?

[Bryan Cranston]

Actually, it's the other way around. Tequila is a Mezcal.

[Bill Maher]

Oh. So is that from mescaline? No, no, it sounds very much like mescaline.

[Bryan Cranston]

It does sound like mescaline.

[Bill Maher]

Sounds like they possibly could be the same drug. Would you like it with soda?

[Bryan Cranston]

No.

[Bill Maher]

No, you just drink it straight.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Geez. Is that because you're on the company or just because you really like it that way?

[Bryan Cranston]

I like it this way, but if I'm. If I want to sip something all night, I don't want to drink. I'll put soda in it.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I drink it with this. I'm going to give this company a plug because I think they should advertise here. And maybe.

[Bryan Cranston]

I think it's a soda.

[Bill Maher]

I drink this stevia soda. It's called stevia. It's called Zevia.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, Zevia.

[Bill Maher]

Because. And I can never find it anywhere. I literally take it into a restaurant because it's the only soda that doesn't. It doesn't have sugar or aspartame, so it's carbonated. It's stevia, which I think is. I'm not sure it's health food, but I think I know it's better than sugar and stevia and aspartame.

[Bryan Cranston]

So you're saying stevia, which is that sweetener. Cheers. By the way, nice to see you.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so glad you're here.

[Bryan Cranston]

Thank you, brother.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I'm a big fan of yours. I mean, I'm not just saying that. We're just probably why we both accepted to do this, because, you know, we're almost the exact same age. Do you know that I'm January 20th, 1956.

[Bryan Cranston]

Ah, you're. You're two months old, like a month and a half older. You're 3-7-56.

[Bill Maher]

Mel Gibson, I think is March 56. Mel Gibson.

[Bryan Cranston]

Mel Gibson. Yeah, I think he's. Yeah, exactly right.

[Bill Maher]

Can you imagine if you and Mel had just switched parts your whole career? Why couldn't you have been Braveheart?

[Bryan Cranston]

Why couldn't I not have been?

[Bill Maher]

Why couldn't you be, you know, with the I'm too old for this shit guy? You could have done that. And he could have been on Malcolm in the Middle And Breaking Bad. And Breaking Bad. Yeah, he probably would have.

[Bryan Cranston]

I wouldn't switch with Mel at this point at all.

[Bill Maher]

You could have been in the Passion of the Christ, wouldn't you?

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, yeah, That's a good one.

[Bill Maher]

Did you ever see it?

[Bryan Cranston]

I did not see that one.

[Bill Maher]

You might be surprised at this, but I haven't said this publicly. I think it's a terrific movie. I think he's an amazing filmmaker. Apocalypto is great movie. Braveheart is awesome. And look, I'm an atheist, but I get the story.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm here for the story and the popcorn

[Bill Maher]

as storytelling. It's very compelling.

[Bryan Cranston]

He's. No, he is. He is a very good storyteller. And, you know, he. He was also a very good actor at one time. And. I don't know. I mean, personal life.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Conflagration.

[Bill Maher]

Sugar tits. Remember sugar boy? Well, he had the loon father.

[Bryan Cranston]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

You know about his father.

[Bryan Cranston]

Not too much. I try to stay away.

[Bill Maher]

He had. He had like, more Catholic than the Pope. You've heard that, too.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, okay. Yes.

[Bill Maher]

He had the more Catholic than the Pope father. I mean, crazy Catholic. That's tough. Who was like. It's almost like, you know, trumpers. Who. The regular Republicans aren't.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's right.

[Bill Maher]

Enough.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Like these 20 clowns who, who just held up the speakership with Kevin McCarthy.

[Bryan Cranston]

They go far. Right.

[Bill Maher]

Right. That's Kevin. That's Mel Gibson, Father. With the Catholic Church. He was always criticizing the church because they did things like, you know, the mass in English was too liberal for him.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Or like they used to do the, the mass with the priest would have his back to the crowd.

[Bryan Cranston]

I. I was one of the congregants at that time in a church. And Even I, at 7 years old on a Sunday, having to wear a goddamn tie and a suit. And that's the last place in the world you wanted to be.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bryan Cranston]

And I, my brother and I would get an ear twist from our mother when we're. We're around in the pews and those hard bench pews.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. And we.

[Bryan Cranston]

The only thing we could have fun with in the Catholic Church in those days was, are we going to stand next or are we going to kneel next?

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bryan Cranston]

We stand or kneel. And it was almost like, you know, so it was. It was terrible. And we.

[Bill Maher]

The.

[Bryan Cranston]

The priest coming down.

[Bill Maher]

With the smoke thing. Smoke thing.

[Bryan Cranston]

And it's like. And. And you don't understand a word. He goes up to the pulpit, he turns his back facing the crucifixion and I mean it's like, what the hell are we doing here? What is this?

[Bill Maher]

I'm so interested to hear you talk about this because, you know, I was brought up Catholic and I also was a seven year old boy in hard bench pews and probably I made the movie Religilous out of. Because of how much I was turned off to religion back then when they scared the shit out of me and we went to catechism. Did you go to catechism with nuns? Who taught you the Catholic. I still have the mimeographed thing. They gave us of a hundred questions that we had to memorize. Yeah. Like who is God? Where is God? You know, all those kind of. And there was specific. And you had to. And I remember crying because I was in seven or in school. They weren't that strict. Catholic schools, they don't fuck around.

[Bryan Cranston]

No.

[Bill Maher]

Even today when parents want their kids to get an actual education instead of the bullshit that goes on in other schools, regular schools, even if they're not Catholic, they send them to Catholic schools if they can get them in and they just tell them y. There's going to be some bullshit about Jesus. Just ignore that. They're going to teach you grammar. And I've seen it with kids. Absolutely. You can tell when a kid has got a Catholic education.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, yeah. There's no shit about that. So you went through Catholic school all the way to high school?

[Bill Maher]

No, not Catholic school.

[Bryan Cranston]

No.

[Bill Maher]

And my mother was Jewish, which I didn't find out till later. But a hint, a hint should have been that she never went to church with my sister and my father and I. And I never asked why. It just never, you know, it just was never a thing. So I never questioned it. And I was so nervous about going to church itself. It gave me such anxiety that I wasn't even thinking about that. It just. She just never went, so. But yes, my sister and I would be driven to catechism first. That was like two hours before the mass we went to. And then my father would show up at the church and then we'd go to the mass together and then we go home.

[Bryan Cranston]

But did you go to Bible study and all that stuff? No, but that was by, you know, catechism was that.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, catechism was just learning about. It's so interesting you mentioned like what you found appealing, which is sitting and standing. My big thing was the collection plate that. And the red candles. They had these red. Yeah, not can't. The candles weren't red, but they were in this little red thing where you glass the glass. Right. And you lit them for, like, dead people.

[Bryan Cranston]

Right?

[Bill Maher]

No, you did, I remember.

[Bryan Cranston]

And you put a dollar in, or, you know, quarter, 50 cent. Like a little slot where you put the money in. Oh, yes, yes. Where they had all the candles. And there was a slot with a cash box, basically. And they would come empty it every now and then.

[Bill Maher]

That's a good description of a church itself.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, the cash box. But you're right.

[Bill Maher]

Split with a cash box.

[Bryan Cranston]

I always thought, who. How did they get that job? The guys look like pool skimmers. Right. And they send this little trade.

[Bill Maher]

That's what fascinated me, that it was a basket on the end of a long pole filled with money. And it was just so filled with money. And my father would give me a quarter to put into it. Oh, and one time. I remember that. God, the things you remember. But I guess it was traumatic, you know, I was bored to tears, of course, as you were. And so I had, for some reason, rolled the quarter up in my shirt. So then the basket's there, and I'm like. I'm trying to get the quarter out of my shirt.

[Bryan Cranston]

I think that's where my Sneaky Pete started, really. When I was so bored. I need to do something. And I had a. I was given a dollar to put in there in the basket. And I would fold it up, as kids do. I palmed it a couple times. I rattled.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah. Rattled the basket and just.

[Bill Maher]

Good for you. And I was like,

[Bryan Cranston]

there's a candy bar. And plus.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. That takes balls. It would have really took balls to take some out

[Bryan Cranston]

now.

[Bill Maher]

That would have gotten my attention.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Let me. Can I change? Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Put it at 10. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It's a. I find it fascinating that all those sermons I sat through, and I remember my father talking about the sermon, like, I guess to my mother or something, like when we got home, because that was the part that he was interested in because it was a guy, you know, he was obviously still a practicing Catholic. He did quit at some point, but. So he cared. And he was very often disappointed because he wanted, you know, some soaring rhetoric from some wise person. Because the sermon was just a speech about something that the priest or the pastor chooses to speak about. So it can be good, it can be bad, it can be try. And it's interesting that, of course, I was a kid, but I can't remember one word from one. There is nothing that sticks in my mind that that sermon ever reached me.

[Bryan Cranston]

No. Well, they were talking over Us?

[Bill Maher]

Well, they were talking to adults.

[Bryan Cranston]

I mean, they were talking over us. It wasn't for us. And I remember distinctly thinking, why are they doing this to kids? I remember like it was a punishment. Why are they doing this to kids? This is awful. Well, and it turned me off too.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, it is. I mean, I think it was Richard Dawkins who called it, you know, when just bringing a kid up in a religion, child abuse because the kid has no choice. I mean, you're. You're just inculcating him in this superstitious voodoo. And it's full of bad. I mean, occasionally the Bible stumbles upon some morality, but it's almost unintentional, you know.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah. And pretty obvious. Do unto others as you would have answered.

[Bill Maher]

There's a couple of greatest hits, but there's a lot of, you know, I always go, I've talked about it on my show. I mean, slavery for the people who are wanting to cancel Thomas Jefferson and George Washington. Cause they had slaves and everybody else in an era when everyone had slaves who could afford it, including people of color in other parts of the world.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It was a human thing.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It's not just a white thing. Okay. So if you're going to cancel Jefferson in Washington, you have to cancel Jesus, because he never spoke against it. It's not in the Old Testament. God, there's a million rules about slavery. None of them are, don't do it. And the reason is because it literally didn't cross their minds. No one ever says in either Testament, what about, we just don't do it at all? What? Don't do it at all. Well, who's gonna schlep the big stones over to the, you know, to make the cathedral and make the, you know.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It just, it did not enter their minds. It just was a way. Every civilization did it. The Romans did it, the Egyptians did it. You know, Slav is a slave. Comes from the word. Slavs who are Slavic. Yeah. Very wide. I mean, they were slaves everywhere. It just. People were like, hey, if I can make you my bitch, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna fucking do it.

[Bryan Cranston]

God.

[Bill Maher]

You know, So I just want to hear them answer that question. What about your boy Jesus, the prince of peace.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Because he's got sweet fucketh all to say about this. Kind of. You'd think it'd be kind of a big issue or maybe it would. The 10 comm. Don't you think that should be maybe in the top 10 more than like false idols? Yes.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, he did come out. And he did, of course, embrace. Well, Jesus.

[Bill Maher]

He did. He.

[Bryan Cranston]

He didn't come out.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Bryan Cranston]

He's still closeted.

[Bill Maher]

That's why they say amen.

[Bryan Cranston]

Amen. He, you know, I mean, Mary Magdalene, he was embracing of her, not judgmental of her and saying, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I'm not saying he wasn't a good guy.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's a good thing.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just saying it never crossed his mind to condemn slavery. I'm telling you, they had rules about it. But it was like, if a man decapitates your slave, you make decapitate it

[Bryan Cranston]

one of his slaves.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. It was never like, but don't do it. Yeah, but let's just junk the whole concept. It just never occurred to me.

[Bryan Cranston]

It never occurred. Because that talk about being privileged was superior then.

[Bill Maher]

Because mankind advances just the way humans do, in increments. That's why 200 years ago, it's just how people thought. There was an abolition society in America at the time of the founding of the revolution, the founding of the country. It had 24 members. That's how many people.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's it.

[Bill Maher]

That's it now. By 1860, it had changed.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And most of the world had got rid of slavery before we did. We were bringing up the rear, but, you know, you could. Gay marriage. Obama was against it his first term.

[Bryan Cranston]

Speaking of bringing up the rear,

[Bill Maher]

You

[Bryan Cranston]

know, yes, he was, you know, but that was a political move. That was because he thought that politically.

[Bill Maher]

But it's still. But it reflects too soon, of course, because it was. Because it reflected where the people were.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

My point being that people just don't grow up overnight. Society does it. More racism and.

[Bryan Cranston]

But for God's sakes, It's time. It's 400 years that we've dealt with this and our country still has not taken responsibility or accountability for what? For the history of the systemic racism that's in this country.

[Bill Maher]

What should we do more?

[Bryan Cranston]

Well, I mean, for. For one thing, critical race theory, I think, is essential to be teaching.

[Bill Maher]

You know what I appreciate as I get older? Efficiency. If something works, it works. That's why Lucy is great. They make nicotine pouches that are 100% pure nicotine and completely tobacco free. But the fun part is the Lucy breakers. Each pouch has this little capsule inside, so when you snap it, it releases extra flavor and hydration. The folks at Club Random are partial to the mint flavor. It's nice and clean and comes in multiple levels of strength. One of my producers likes the 6mg pouch when he's setting up the studio just before a shoot, just pop one in, break the capsule and you're good to go. And if you don't feel like running errands, you can set up a subscription and have it show up at your door. Because the future is not leaving the house. Lucy the only pouch that gives you long lasting flavor whenever you need it. Get 20% off your first order when you buy online with code clubrandom. And if you don't want to wait, just head to Lucy Co stores to find Lucy near you and grab it today. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Commercial/Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home with agents who close twice as many deals. When you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it. Get [e-mail]. own the dream.

[Bill Maher]

It depends on what you mean by that.

[Bryan Cranston]

Well, I mean, I mean teaching how the race, trade and racism is systemic in everything we've done in government, in social activities.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, it has been.

[Bryan Cranston]

I mean, it's embedded in it.

[Bill Maher]

It's like, for example, why the second amendment really, really was. I mean, this is one person's theory, but I think it's the truth. The second amendment really has to do with. In a country where you were keeping hostile people in chains. Yeah. You needed guns to, you know, you needed very loose reins on guns to keep, keep the lid on that. Yeah. So that has a lot to do with why other countries don't have like a second amendment the way we do.

[Bryan Cranston]

And we didn't have army, we didn't have an organized militia, so you had to form one quickly and be able to get arms quickly when we were being attacked.

[Bill Maher]

But critical race can mean it's just one of these catch all terms. If you mean we should honestly teach our past. Of course. If you mean more what the 1619 book says, which is that it's just the essence of America and that we are irredeemable, that's just wrong. It's not.

[Bryan Cranston]

I mean, I agree with that. But even teaching our past and being honest and owning up to who we are as a country in the history of it.

[Bill Maher]

Most schools are doing that. I'm sure there are ones in Texas

[Bryan Cranston]

that are not in Florida, they want to do away with critical race theory and a lot of other states because

[Bill Maher]

sometimes it veers off into things that are really not appropriate. Appropriate in schools.

[Bryan Cranston]

So how do you govern that?

[Bill Maher]

If you're telling five year olds that you're either an oppressor or someone who was oppressed, you're introducing ideas about race that are inappropriate for kids that age who can't understand it.

[Bryan Cranston]

Okay, so common sense would go.

[Bill Maher]

Common sense is what's lacking in this country. But that is why people wind up passing laws about that. And yes, you're right. Very often the laws go too far. But it's not coming from nothing. It's coming from things that have started in colleges and very far left woke thinking that many people feel is not appropriate in schools. I mean, the same thing with gender stuff. You know, can they just be kids for a minute?

[Bryan Cranston]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Bryan Cranston]

And that's. Absolutely. And we have to find that time, that level of maturity when a. When a child can understand that at certain times in this country's history, there was a grave mistreatment of other human beings.

[Bill Maher]

I think we get that.

[Bryan Cranston]

Well, no, we don't get it. What do we get it?

[Bill Maher]

Really? You think? That is not something that is now widely understood and agreed.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's definitely not widely understood that America

[Bill Maher]

has a sorry, racist past.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's talked about and whispered, but they don't know.

[Bill Maher]

Whispered.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes. And you what? The Jim Crow laws. So emancipation proclamation in 1865. It was 1965 or in 1964 when the Civil Rights act was passed by LBJ.

[Bill Maher]

But this is 2023.

[Bryan Cranston]

It took 100 years. I know, but is my point.

[Bill Maher]

Can we live in the year we're living in? You don't think or you live in

[Bryan Cranston]

the year living in.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, well, the year we're living in is not.

[Bryan Cranston]

Drive me to drink.

[Bill Maher]

It's not what you're describing. You're describing in America. Yes, that I think most Right. Thinking people would agree was deplorable in so many ways. No, I'm good. It's tasty, though.

[Bryan Cranston]

It is good.

[Bill Maher]

It's very different and I like it.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's a little smoky.

[Bill Maher]

But not because it's mezcal.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's mezcal and not tequila because it's smoked and not steamed. Yeah. Anyway, what were we arguing about?

[Bill Maher]

Well, probably the Golden Globes, which. You sound like you should be making a. Hello. No, I just think we need to live in the year we're living in. And acknowledging progress is not saying the past isn't horrible or that we're done and there's no more work to be done. It's just being realistic about where we are today. And where we are today is nothing like the times you're describing. As bad as they were. So you're. I mean, this is, I think, a problem with a lot of the left. They seem to be obsessed on the past. The past is important. It's not the only thing.

[Bryan Cranston]

They teach it like the Holocaust you

[Bill Maher]

want to be able to teach. Most places do teach it. There are places. There are places that go too far on either side. Can we agree with that? But I bet you most places in America, I mean, Again, this is 2023. The people who are doing the teaching are of a generation that is not most interested in suppressing the past or being racist.

[Bryan Cranston]

I mean, I disagree with that.

[Bill Maher]

Well then you don't watch a lot of the videos that they themselves post. They themselves, teachers and educators, trust me, they're hyper aware of race. If anything, it is injected too much into everything. But you sound like you're more in the Hollywood woke camp. And I, I'm not saying that's fine. It doesn't mean we have to.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's like it's a humanistic camp. I want. Did you know when you were a child, did you know that that segregation was all through again?

[Bill Maher]

When I was a child was the 60s.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

This is 2023. You keep going back to like how will what? And as if the same people. It is still, of course, you know what? Racism is always going to be present in not just white people, but in all people to a certain degree. You can't completely sanctify human nature. It's just what it is. It's tainted. We try to extirpate it as much as we possibly can, but we can't. Certainly it's a great thing that we've passed most of the laws that you would need. I mean, discrimination is illegal. Has been for a very long time. Obviously it'll always be fought in the courts and so forth. But I mean, as opposed to these errors you're talking about when it wasn't even the law. Jim Crow. Yes. Before the Civil Rights Act. Yes. But that's a long time ago.

[Bryan Cranston]

So.

[Bill Maher]

And you seem to think that the country in 2023 is populated by seething racists who are unaware of our past and the obligation we have to do better.

[Bryan Cranston]

I do agree that there are people who want to move forward without looking at the past. And when you move forward without looking at the past and course correcting, you're in trouble because it can happen again.

[Bill Maher]

Well, can't we do both? Can't we. Can't we be cognizant of the past and move forward?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes, you can. Let me ask you a question.

[Bill Maher]

And acknowledge the present.

[Bryan Cranston]

And let me ask you a question.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

When you look at this guy's hat, make America great again, what do you think about that?

[Bill Maher]

Sweetheart, Nobody has made more fun of Donald Trump than I. I know. So you can't get me on. Like, I like Donald Trump. I don't like that. Okay.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm not saying.

[Bill Maher]

And I get your point. I've said it myself. Yes. Make America great again. I understand to a certain number of people, that's a dog whistle about America was better when it was whiter. I get that.

[Bryan Cranston]

Okay. But would you then also accept that there's a large swath of people in his camp and other people like him who have no clue that that's a dog whistle, that they think, oh, yeah, make America great again is for everyone. But when was it great? Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. I know.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, God. I mean.

[Bryan Cranston]

Making a big sigh.

[Bill Maher]

Come on.

[Bryan Cranston]

When was it great for African Americans in this country?

[Bill Maher]

When was it great? Well, if you're applying for college now, I would say now.

[Bryan Cranston]

So in our history, now it's great.

[Bill Maher]

I didn't say great. It's never great for anybody. Full of. Wait.

[Bryan Cranston]

Never great for anybody.

[Bill Maher]

Well, life is full of problems. So great. You know. Yes. If your life is great, you're very lucky. Most people would not say, my life is great. Would you say your life is great?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes, I would.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Okay. I mean, I would. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean.

[Bryan Cranston]

And a lot of it is, I'm glad for you. And I've been privileged.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bryan Cranston]

Do you believe in white privilege?

[Bill Maher]

I like the word advantage better because advantage is broader. Here's the reason why, when you say advantage now, have I had advantages, especially growing up in, you know, being a. Again, we were born the same year, 1956. If you're born in that year. Yes. You were a young person in the. Probably in the 80s, you know, could, like, I have been up for a job at a comedy club when I was working little comedy clubs and there was a black comedian and they gave it to me instead because they thought I would do better being a white comedian or that they were just maybe had racism in them. Yes. I think that probably could have happened and that was wrong. Again, I didn't do it. I mean, we can't all be.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's saying you're doing it. It's recognizing that it exists.

[Bill Maher]

I don't think I should be even questioned that I'm someone who doesn't recognize that it exists. I have a pretty good record of speaking on the right side of civil rights issues. I just like to be real about where we are, and where we are is not where we were. And some people seem literally reluctant. It seems like they feel like the worse I think things are, the better person I am. That's what I get from a lot of the left. You know, I think things are worse than you do. So that's what makes me good. And, like, I just want the reality. I just want the truth. What is the truth of the situation? And again, I'm not decrying that these changes are made. I'm applauding it. I'm applauding it that it's great that if you're a black kid applying to college. Yeah. You don't have to face discrimination like they used to. And very often those colleges and businesses also in America are trying to make up for their sorry past.

[Bryan Cranston]

I think we're not.

[Bill Maher]

Not.

[Bryan Cranston]

We're not really far apart. I think it's to. I mean, yes, are there factions that are on both extremes?

[Bill Maher]

Of course.

[Bryan Cranston]

But to say you're a liberal person, as I would consider myself, I think common sense is the law of the land. It's what should be. I think we are in a much better place than we've ever been before as far as civil rights, as far as acceptance.

[Bill Maher]

And it's just, you know, the people who are running the world now are millennials and Gen Zs. They just. They're not. I think you're thinking of your generation, and they are still in place in some places. They're certainly not all racists who are in place. But, yeah, there are. You know, like I said, I don't know if we'll ever get rid of it completely, like any human flaw. But the people who are running things, you know, I just don't think that's their mindset is, let's be racist to people of color.

[Bryan Cranston]

They don't understand it, but they are innately that way.

[Bill Maher]

Innately.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, Lord.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, no.

[Bill Maher]

What have you been reading?

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, babe, you know, come on.

[Bill Maher]

Is that white fragility or some bullshit like that?

[Bryan Cranston]

It's not white fragility.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's the book. Is that where you're getting that from. No, no, but innately, like original sin, like toxically white born racist.

[Bryan Cranston]

Not toxically, but you recognize your experience. And what we don't recognize often is the privilege that you said, the advantage that you have. Look at Congress, look at the makeup of Congress. You cannot deny that as older white men are the predominant factor in Congress.

[Bill Maher]

I don't have the stats in front of me, but there's plenty of people in color in Congress. And yes, we are moving from a place where it was all white. We get it. Yes. But what direction is it going? And I don't. And I'd like to see the numbers in Congress, certainly in the Democratic Party. I bet you they're at least representative. Percentage wise.

[Bryan Cranston]

I would say so.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. Yeah. Less so in the Republican Party. But I have to tell you, Republicans are doing better and better all the time with people of color. I hope so, because the woke shit actually doesn't help any black people. See, to me, this is the difference between liberalism and wokeism. Liberalism is about lifting people up. Woke isn't just about self loathing and hating yourself and scolding everybody and virtue signaling. It doesn't actually help anybody. Lifting people up who have gotten a bad shake in this country who are for some reason downtrodden or have been cheated. Absolutely. I've always been for that. But I don't think that's a lot of what's going on. And I think there are. I just look at the numbers from the last election. I mean, Trump, would you think that he would get even one black or Hispanic vote? He got 20% of the male black vote and he did better with Hispanics than he did the first time.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Comes out you're rapist. Then gets respectable numbers in that election

[Bryan Cranston]

and from women, too.

[Bill Maher]

And then four years go by and he does better. People, especially immigrants, they don't like this unrelenting negativism about this country. They're like, you know what? You should see the fucking river I swam through to get here. And I get here and all you people do is on your own country and tell me how horrible it is. You know what I came from? Horrible. You want to know horrible? I'll tell you stories.

[Bryan Cranston]

So how can we bridge the chasm that has been created between this divisive world that we live in?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, good. I thought you were going to say you and me. And I don't want, I don't want there to be a chasm between us.

[Bryan Cranston]

No, man.

[Bill Maher]

So you don't mind having a, a good Irish debate like that? Yeah. Good for you.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, my God. Come on, buddy. And, like, dude, white guys, we don't know. Should we do this? What's the handshake? I don't know.

[Bill Maher]

That was the 1956 handshake,

[Bryan Cranston]

by the way. I just found out, too, from 23andMe that. That I'm 10% Ashkenazi Jew.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, wow.

[Bryan Cranston]

So my grandmother.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Converted to Catholicism, like your.

[Bill Maher]

Like my mother.

[Bryan Cranston]

Like your mother didn't. Or whatever.

[Bill Maher]

My mother. I used to love my mother telling this story about. She was this. My parents got married in 1951. Now, back then, that was more outrageous than an interracial marriage is today.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. So. So neither family was very happy about it, but my mother agreed to take Catholic lessons. And she really had the greatest affection to the end of her life about this priest who did it because she said he was cool. He understood that this was a charade. So he didn't really. He didn't really. Seriously, she could have gotten some asshole who gave her the hundred questions and made her do it, but he said they just talked and, you know, good for him.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And when I asked my mother at the beginning of Religionless, I took her back to that church we used to go to. And I don't know why they let us film there, but they did. And I said, like, why did you go along with it? And she said, well, I just thought having some structure was better than nothing. Like, that's how they thought in those days was like, you just can't have no religion, even if it's a bullshit religion, I don't believe in.

[Bryan Cranston]

Well, a lot of the teachings were meant just to keep children in line. Right? That. To scare children in life and adults.

[Bill Maher]

Children and adults, too.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes. It's like, starts with children and. Yeah, but you'll be damned to hell if you don't do this. But so were nursery rhymes, all those Grimm's fairy tales. I mean, they were all designed to scare children into behaving, right?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. They were gruesome, right? Oh, weren't they gorgeous?

[Bryan Cranston]

People putting, like, kids in the oven and cooking them.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Jesus.

[Bill Maher]

But people were so much rougher, you know, back then. People are just now.

[Bryan Cranston]

Well, you and I had an upbringing where you could. My mom and dad, they didn't know where I was. I'd come home, I hop on my bike.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'd be with my friends, and I was off.

[Bill Maher]

There was no helicopter parenting.

[Bryan Cranston]

No.

[Bill Maher]

There was no. What do they call it? Bulldozer parenting. You know what that is? That's when they push out of the way any objects or impediments. It's even worse than helicopters. That's terrible. Yeah. I mean, there were people who've always done this. I mean, we used to just call them spoiled kids, but now it's gotten to be, you know, so, I mean, that's the. Who was the lady? You probably worked with her at one point. She got her kids into college by.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, yes, yes, I know what you're talking about.

[Bill Maher]

What's her name? She was on some show. Yeah. And you probably played Uncle Plunky one week. I play Uncle Plunky.

[Bryan Cranston]

But I'll tell you, you know where we first met?

[Bill Maher]

Where?

[Bryan Cranston]

Murder she Wrote.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Commercial/Announcer]

People are full of surprises, especially when you travel together. Thankfully, ver is not. When you book a VRBO, you get VRBO care and 247 life support. So your house doesn't surprise you like your friends might? If something's not as described or doesn't work, vrbo's there. Real people, real support. Anytime. Book today on the VRBO app if you know you VRBO terms apply. See vrbo.com trust for details.

[Bill Maher]

You were the old lady.

[Bryan Cranston]

I was Angela Lansbury in Dragon. And no, they were.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Bryan Cranston]

You were being groomed.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. You.

[Bryan Cranston]

They were grooming your ass, man. They were saying, okay, we're gonna make this guy the next star of this show.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, boy.

[Bryan Cranston]

And you were hurting.

[Bill Maher]

I did not realize that.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, no, you did, too.

[Bill Maher]

No, I didn't.

[Bryan Cranston]

They put you in a position.

[Bill Maher]

Here's what I remember. Okay, here's what I remember. I did one episode with Roddy McDowell. I remember I was in a hotel room with him all day. Don't make any jokes.

[Bryan Cranston]

Not gonna say a word.

[Bill Maher]

Sweet. Such a sweet guy. Where I was just like a guest star. Where I was like one of the maybe people who killed somebody in this small town where everyone died every week. Okay, then I guess I did well enough. I came back, like, the next year and did a one hour episode where she wasn't in it. She just introduced it.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's right.

[Bill Maher]

And it was me and Faith Ford.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yep. That's when I was in.

[Bill Maher]

What?

[Bryan Cranston]

I was in that one.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you know what?

[Bryan Cranston]

We got to find it.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I remember reading the script. Perhaps not all the way through.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Because I remember they were fitting me for a. A dress at the end, and I'm like, wait, what? Like. Yeah, I like, got into a witch's outfit or something. Oh, maybe that was the other one. I don't know. One of them. They had Me in a dress like a, Like a witch's outfit. And I think I was.

[Bryan Cranston]

You feel pretty?

[Bill Maher]

I. I felt. Hey, read the whole script. But the other one was a one hour they call. Used to call an M. Yes. Movie after that.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So we were hoping it was. We. We saw it also as a pilot.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But it was me and her as like, I guess, you know, husband and wife detectives.

[Bryan Cranston]

Okay. So the other actors who were just co stars, guest stars for the week.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bryan Cranston]

We were going, this Bill Maher guy, he's being groomed. He's really. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was, it was totally that, that. And you know what? We were going, good luck, man.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, you get it.

[Bryan Cranston]

Get a gig. You know, it's when, when you work to. You remember in those days, they call. Your agent calls you and you're saying yes before the. Oh, before you hang up the phone. Oh, yeah, I'll do whatever you want. I'll. Oh, you know, what is it, what is it you want me to do? Yeah, I'll sit in a hotel room with Roddy McDowell for.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, no. I was thrilled to get that part.

[Bryan Cranston]

And at that point, Roddy McDowell, man.

[Bill Maher]

I remember going to auditions for, you know, sitcoms I knew were horrible. And I was once sitting in a room and do you know the comedian Charles Fleischer?

[Bryan Cranston]

Sure.

[Bill Maher]

He was. He was kind of weird looking, very funny guy, but like, he was like a nut. That was his thing. And I remember I walk in and he went, we were rooting for this sitcom and he went, okay, nuts over here, pricks over here. That's was what it was.

[Bryan Cranston]

And did you get up and I

[Bill Maher]

was out for the prick part.

[Bryan Cranston]

He was out.

[Bill Maher]

He was out for the nut part, you know.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, who Framed Roger Rabbit?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's his claim to fame. And he was brilliant.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. He was not.

[Bryan Cranston]

Charles, Good actor, man. I should tell you the time that, you know, reminder. Charles Fleischer and, And other, you know, like, there was a time when I was. I was doing a movie in Toronto that John Ritter was supposed to do. All right. He was supposed to do this movie. Instead. He did a. He did a play and it went to Broadway. And I said. And he was still producing this movie I was doing. So I said, I was talking to him every day and I said, well, I'll come to New York. I'll see your play. No, no, no, you don't have to see it. You don't see the play. And I go, no, come on, what are you talking about? Of course I'm going To come see the play. He said, no, no, really, you don't have to see the play. And I said, well, stop talking that way. He said, well, give me a call when you come in and we'll see. My wife and I fly in. It was during Malcolm in the Middle. We were doing upfronts, and I remember that. And I said, we're going to go see John Ritter in his play Dinner Party. It was a Neil Simon play.

[Bill Maher]

I vaguely remember that. Dinner Party. Dinner Party, yeah. And inevitable name for a play.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's got to happen at least once. So she says, oh, no, we shouldn't go see that. I go, what? He goes, it got panned by everyone. No one liked this play. And I said, well, I told him I'd come, so we have to go. Let's walk down to Times Square. Let's see where it is. So we walk down to Times Square, and we look down. Oh, there, there. Let's go down and see the marquee. Let's see the one sheet. And whatever. We didn't know what time it was. We walked down. As soon as we approach, the door is open. It's the end of the play. Oh, my God. End of the play. People are throwing down their playbills going, this is a piece of shit. This is a horrible, horrible play. And I said, oh. I reached down, I grabbed the playbill, and I grabbed my wife's hand, and I said, come on. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's not one to be able to fake anything through. And I proudly say, she's never faked anything. And so we knock on the. On the stage door. He said, I'm here to see John Ritter. Bryan Cranston. Come on. Oh, come on up. He's surprised. So I come up. He goes, John goes, why? What?

[Bill Maher]

Why didn't you call?

[Bryan Cranston]

Like, don't come here for the call. Are you kidding?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

What did you think? What did I think? What did I think? Are you really seriously asking? What? My God.

[Bill Maher]

My God, that's perfect.

[Bryan Cranston]

And talk about funny, right? He goes, seriously? I go, are you kidding? Of course. Come here. Give me a hug. I hugged him. And I. And my wife goes over and talks to his daughter who was in his room. In comes Jon Lovitz, and, oh, my God, I'm just blanking on his name. Comic actor. Does a droll. Droll Stan Laurel. No. Well, think of it. They come in, they're taking over, and he says, brian liked it. And I went, oh, are you kidding? Liked it? This play and they're going, really? You're like, you're gonna. Oh, my God, are you kidding? Come on, let's have a drink to this day.

[Bill Maher]

So Lovitz had seen the play.

[Bryan Cranston]

Lovett's went into the play and did

[Bill Maher]

he say anything to betray your lie?

[Bryan Cranston]

No, he was shocked. He was a little shell shocked to look at it. And. Oh my God, I can't think of his name. He's such a great comedian.

[Bill Maher]

First you take money out of the collection plate, then you lie your way.

[Bryan Cranston]

Is this a review?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I'm just saying I'm getting a fuller picture.

[Bryan Cranston]

You're getting the full picture.

[Bill Maher]

That's it. You know, it is. You get to know somebody in increments,

[Bryan Cranston]

you know, and I see you kissing Angela Lansbury's ass in order to get a job.

[Bill Maher]

Well, look at, but look at how it came out. I mean, the, you know, the irony as we fast forward in this movie of our lives is that you are the award winning, famous, you know, critically lauded, universally loved a list actor. And here I am, lonely in my little club, random, all by myself, smoking my blunts. No.

[Bryan Cranston]

And you're kidding.

[Bill Maher]

We both went exactly where we should have gone. I was not an actor. An actor is the opposite of what I do. It could never work. A comedian.

[Bryan Cranston]

It was the opposite of what you do.

[Bill Maher]

Was I terrible in that?

[Bryan Cranston]

It was. It just wasn't you. Yeah, it just wasn't.

[Bill Maher]

That's what acting is. You're not you.

[Bryan Cranston]

You're not you.

[Bill Maher]

No, I wasn't some guy who found a John Doe body. I remember that. I did not. I. To this day I don't understand that script. It was so convoluted.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And pretty confusing. Yeah. And like. No, I'm. I'm very fortunate that I was. Didn't. Wasn't cast as the, you know, office creep on bringing up Chunky, because I could, you know, have done 10 years on a show and then have never been able to have the credibility to do what I really do.

[Bryan Cranston]

Bringing up Chunky two Chunky, three Chunky. Well, you know, it would have been a whole series.

[Bill Maher]

The residuals would have been. Would have been fantastic, amazing. But. No, but you.

[Bryan Cranston]

I met you. I met you over 20 years ago on Politically Incorrect.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that too. I remember that.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's fantastic.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bryan Cranston]

And groundbreaking. And I'm not here to kiss your ass, but it was fucking great.

[Bill Maher]

What if you watch it?

[Bryan Cranston]

No, it was great. It was great.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I hope you don't think it was better than the show I do now because Most of us who worked on both think it was a giant step up to go to HBO and do the show.

[Bryan Cranston]

You had more freedom.

[Bill Maher]

It's just more adult. You know, Politically Incorrect was a. I always say, a planned train wreck. It was four people who should never have been together in the same room.

[Bryan Cranston]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

And were. You know, and that's what we. And that's fun. You know, it's like, hey, this is a democracy. Everybody gets to vote. Why can't Bob Dole and Carrot Top have a debate? You know, I mean, but it was a. You know, and that was what was

[Bryan Cranston]

so brilliant about it. Is that now in Ultra.

[Bill Maher]

But for me, it's. It was. It's not nearly the work I've done on Real time.

[Bryan Cranston]

No, it just isn't.

[Bill Maher]

It isn't. It's just different.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's a different world.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Well, it's just. It's just a.

[Bryan Cranston]

Anyway, I remember you went shortly after. After Politically Correct ended. I remember being on one of the shows near the end, and I remember if. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember you hinting, like, I'm going somewhere else.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, really?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

On the air or.

[Bryan Cranston]

No, no. Oh, no.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, Son of Ocean.

[Bryan Cranston]

No, no, it was after. Yeah. I was. I'm going somewhere else.

[Bill Maher]

Dramatic aside.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I was like, I'm going somewhere.

[Bryan Cranston]

I think. I think you use semaphores.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

And I got the message.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I loved the last six months of Politically Incorrect, even though we were canceled. Even though we were. One critic called us Dead Show Walking because we were still on for, like, nine months after nine, 11. And it freed us to, like, do much closer to the show I'm doing now. It freed us to, like, because, you know, why the country was, like, in this somber mood, so it wasn't appropriate to have, you know, like. Like, you know, dumbasses and sitcom twerks. So I did a much more adult show with, like, a panel of people who, like, actually could speak instead of just verbal. It's.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's been. It's been amazing to watch this. Oh, it really has.

[Bill Maher]

I can't believe. You know, we're. First of all, we're both so lucky that we're still working. Yeah. You know, this is a business that puts people out to pasture, you know, whereas, you know, I mean, you've never been busier, right?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, it's been really busy.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. But it's. See, you look just. I think we both look. No one is fooled that we're Chris Hemsworth, but, like, you look generically still like late middle age, but. Middle age. You don't look old. You know, it's so. It's not like you can play parts.

[Bryan Cranston]

I look Hollywood middle aged.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you look. You could play parts where, like, your looks are not distracting. We're not. We're not. You're not? No.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, my.

[Bill Maher]

We're not confused that you're the guy who's gonna. Who's gonna be, you know, getting looks are not distracting.

[Bryan Cranston]

I love that. That's true.

[Bill Maher]

Right? Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

I look in the mirror and I don't. I don't get distracted.

[Bill Maher]

7. That's not a bad.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. It's coming, right? It's a. It's. It's as good as you can do. Yeah. And you have all this acting experience and, like, popularity built up from your past roles. So you're like, you're in the killing field now. No. Really?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah. It's a good time.

[Bill Maher]

And I feel like almost the same thing for me.

[Bryan Cranston]

Good time?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Built up enough credibility. I've been around and you can still look at me.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm not repulsed.

[Bill Maher]

You're not doing it.

[Bryan Cranston]

I don't recoil when I see.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly. You're not doing it for the reason of looking at us.

[Bryan Cranston]

Hey, let me ask you this.

[Bill Maher]

What?

[Bryan Cranston]

Is there a bathroom around? I mean, it's like. Do we do that on a show like this?

[Bill Maher]

Can you hold it for like five minutes and then I'll just let you go.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, unless you want to, like.

[Bryan Cranston]

I really. I gotta go.

[Bill Maher]

Then come here.

[Bryan Cranston]

Should I go and then we'll come down?

[Bill Maher]

I. Good God. I feel that that really humanized you.

[Bryan Cranston]

It did. It calmed me down a little.

[Bill Maher]

The choice you made in the scene to go to the bathroom. I feel like we don't see that in enough movies. And I'm looking. You know, these super spies, they do everything. They run off buildings, they shoot 100 without getting shot, but they never have to go to the bathroom.

[Bryan Cranston]

They never have to pee. Really? They never have to pee.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like if you did. If you did a superhero movie, and I'm sure you wouldn't. That would be a good. To have a really vulnerable, like maybe a superhero, but who has a urological problem and he has to.

[Bryan Cranston]

A superhero who wears Depends. He just. He just.

[Bill Maher]

It was always leaks.

[Bryan Cranston]

He leaks.

[Bill Maher]

He's always at the urologist office. But you would not do a movie like that. Have you been offered. Are you like. Could you be like the villain in Dr. Shitfuck?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, I would consider. Really Well, I would, because.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, then they're gonna hear that and they're gonna do it because you're exactly. You're, like I said, killing field for you. You're exactly at the perfect time to play, like, a super bad villain. And because of who you are, built this up to. You'll get, you know, a bank load of a truckload of money. I will? Yes, absolutely. You won't be the star. That'll be Liam Hemsworth. But you'll be, you know. But they need you, too.

[Bryan Cranston]

I would do it.

[Bill Maher]

And it'll be the fun part of the picture.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's the one.

[Bill Maher]

You'll steal it. Cause you always do.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's the fun part of the movie.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Bryan Cranston]

Why would I say no to that?

[Bill Maher]

Because you wouldn't. Why aren't they offering it? Because they need, like, someone who's the bad guy to be of, like, equal credibility, but on that different level.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, not. He's not. Okay. I'm not Liam Hemsworth. I'm not.

[Bryan Cranston]

You've said that like four or five times now.

[Bill Maher]

You.

[Bryan Cranston]

But you are gonna see me in my youth. I wasn't on Murder She Road, and

[Bill Maher]

everybody was saying, that guy's going nowhere. Look what we know. What did you play on that? I don't remember.

[Bryan Cranston]

You know, it's. It's these. I don't know.

[Bill Maher]

I remember there was.

[Bryan Cranston]

I honestly don't remember the I used to do.

[Bill Maher]

I do remember an actor on that named David Huddleston.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

He was the sheriff.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah. And he. He did that for a long time. And. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I remember one day he was complaining. I think he played Santa Claus. Yeah. There was a Santa Claus.

[Bryan Cranston]

He would be a good Santa Claus.

[Bill Maher]

And I. Yes. And I did a Matlock where I

[Bryan Cranston]

was a Santa Claus.

[Bill Maher]

You did a Matlock.

[Bryan Cranston]

Of course.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, my God. Don't ever.

[Bryan Cranston]

Didn't you don't.

[Bill Maher]

No, I was. How could that be?

[Bryan Cranston]

I.

[Bill Maher]

We're the same age. Matlock was on. Oh, yeah. I guess in your 20s. I don't know. When Matlock was on, I was like. I feel like I was a million miles from doing anything real in show business.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, No, I did that. I did. I met my. My wife in a show called Airwolf. Do you remember that?

[Bill Maher]

With the helicopter, with the guy. Jan. Wasn't that Jan? Michael Vincent.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Did not end well for him.

[Bryan Cranston]

It did not.

[Bill Maher]

You see how lucky we are, Bryan Cranston? I mean, here we are, you know,

[Bryan Cranston]

we got our hair.

[Bill Maher]

We got our hair. Some of it. Not everyone. That was Ever there. You know, our careers are peaking in our late 60s.

[Bryan Cranston]

Look at that.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, it could go, it could have gone a lot worse.

[Bryan Cranston]

White privilege on display, you know.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, you know, speaking of that, you know what, what one? I love the one you did with Kevin Hart.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, yeah, that is. Thank you.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, wow. We're doing a sequel to that, by the way. When he is encouraged by the right director to just be an actor.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, fantastic. He is terrific.

[Bill Maher]

He does not need to just do what, you know, look, there's no shame in getting famous by being very popular

[Bryan Cranston]

doing a Kind selling joke.

[Bill Maher]

He's also a good comedian, but I'm saying in movies he had that one kind of thing he did where he was a little over the top, but it was funny. And yeah, it's a comedy. Let's come here, let's live. Okay. But when he is encouraged the right way, in a word, it's not appropriate. And he was so terrific.

[Bryan Cranston]

It was called the Upside.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, the Upside.

[Bryan Cranston]

The Upside. And he, I went to lunch with him. I wanted to find out if he was ready for this, if he was like, if he got this. I, I said to him at lunch, I said, you know, this is, this is really not a comedy. I mean, this is really a character piece. Are you, are you ready for that? He goes, I know exactly what it is.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bryan Cranston]

And it's exactly what I need for my career.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bryan Cranston]

And he was, he was entirely correct.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Bryan Cranston]

And I said, and he did. This movie rests on your shoulders. You have to drive every scene.

[Bill Maher]

Sure.

[Bryan Cranston]

And he did.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, he did. He did.

[Bryan Cranston]

And.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, that's a bit over. It was a fairly equal two man show. It was two people who are locked together because in the movie you're in a wheelchair.

[Bryan Cranston]

But he was such a whirling dervish. He carried the show.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

I mean, so we're doing a sequel to it.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, wow. Yeah, you get up.

[Bryan Cranston]

Okay. For those of you who don't, who haven't seen the Upside, I play a quadriplegic in a chair. And that's why this bastard said, do you get up? You know, I got shit for that.

[Bill Maher]

What?

[Bryan Cranston]

I got a lot of. For that. For what? Oh, this is gonna set him off.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, move.

[Bryan Cranston]

I am not a.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, because you're not in a wheelchair. Yes, well, we'll fix that.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, I am, I am an able bodied actor playing a disabled actor.

[Bill Maher]

Sean Penn had the great line about that. He said, it's getting to the point where you can only play Hamlet if you're A prince from Denmark.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean it's called. Called acting. It's almost the whole point that you are doing something that you are not. Right. I can't even. I can't even. And again, you know, not to get back to woke. Goes too far. But you notice it when it enters your own life. Don't you like that?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes, it was noticeable to me. I was pretty surprised that I got some blowback to it.

[Bill Maher]

It.

[Bryan Cranston]

And I thought there's a good point that disabled actors are not given an opportunity. It's a kind of a catch 22 that, that, you know, it's like, do you have the cachet to be able to carry a film?

[Bill Maher]

It has to make sense if.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, if you're playing Jim Thorpe, you gotta be able to run. We lost all common sense. Yeah. Should there be the thought given to hey, you know, this part could be. And by the way, it's not like I've never seen anybody in a wheelchair in a movie. Pretty much anyone who ever works a computer is in a wheelchair in every movie I've ever seen. Okay. So. But yes. Are there other, you know, doctors and lawyers and. Yeah, they could. And where it's appropriate without like taking you out of the story. Great.

[Bryan Cranston]

We would've missed some great performances. Daniel Day Lewis, My Left Foot. Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman. Oh, there's a lot of.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yes. It's not even worth considering. It's so silly.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm just saying it's perspective. You can only have the perspective of a 66 year old white male. That's all you can have.

[Bill Maher]

All of us can only have our own perspective. Exactly right. It doesn't mean I can't. I'm not a sentient being.

[Bryan Cranston]

You can't see, you can understand, but you cannot really know what it feels like to live in that skin.

[Bill Maher]

Nobody can except them. If you had said that again in the era we were born, like somebody did a book on it in the 50s called black like Me where he put on blackface basically so he could see what it was like in the 1950s to walk around. It would be just. You would. That's why that book resonated.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

It would be a shock.

[Bryan Cranston]

And in the 1960s, during the riots in. In Watts and in Detroit and Chicago and elsewhere, I remember asking my mother, why are these black people so angry? Why are they so angry? I couldn't understand. Why are they throwing rocks and black people.

[Bill Maher]

Because they lived in the 1960s. But surveys now show that black people, especially young Black people are way more optimistic about their future in America than whites.

[Bryan Cranston]

I hope so.

[Bill Maher]

Whites are actually the only ethnicity that has a bias against themselves. Yes. The only group that this comes from, you know, the far left, I think the only group who doesn't want to be with their own kind of people. Every other ethnic group at least is okay with them. Yeah. No, there is a weird kind of white self loathing thing.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That does go on in America. It's, it's, it's, it's kind of a kink. It's, it's. It's kind of like wanting some dominatrix to dig a high heel into your neck to a certain degree.

[Bryan Cranston]

Spurge that kind of activity. That could be very engaging and.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Exciting.

[Bill Maher]

You could put that on your judge show. My judge show? Why? Why, why, why?

[Bryan Cranston]

Why? You sounded a little bit like walking there. Why?

[Bill Maher]

Do you do any impressions?

[Bryan Cranston]

I do impressions of impressions. Everybody does Kevin Pollock, you know.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that's good. Yeah. You do Kevin Pollock's.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, I do Kevin Pollock's walking, you know.

[Bill Maher]

Right. I, I can do. I know exactly what you mean. I can do somebody's somebody.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, this is perfect.

[Bill Maher]

I can't remember.

[Bryan Cranston]

You can do some impression.

[Bill Maher]

I can't remember. Who is it?

[Bryan Cranston]

Who I can do.

[Bill Maher]

What's the somebody?

[Bryan Cranston]

But.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, but that happens a lot with impressions. There was a guy, you probably remember this because we're the same age. Will Jordan.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. He was the guy who first did Ed Sullivan and then everybody else was kind of like, yes.

[Bryan Cranston]

Doing Ed.

[Bill Maher]

Everybody was doing Will Jordan's Ed Sullivan.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, mailmen were doing it. You know, it was not. You just had to do a big shoe.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, that's right.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes. Oh, man.

[Bill Maher]

See that was, that was something that made America a easier place. What?

[Bryan Cranston]

Great again.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, God, I can't even.

[Bryan Cranston]

That's what made America.

[Bill Maher]

Go get your Golden Globe. Really? Just. Just go up there and. And, and do what they want and do your. Engage in your kink. Make them feel guil existing and they're privileged cuz they're at an award now. Well, I mean, an award show is pretty privilegy.

[Bryan Cranston]

It is, isn't it? Isn't it?

[Bill Maher]

Your life is fine. Why make yourself feel guilty about it?

[Bryan Cranston]

I don't feel guilty about it.

[Bill Maher]

You didn't do it. You didn't do Jim Crow.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm not guilty about it.

[Bill Maher]

I know.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm just accepting that this is the world that we have lived in.

[Bill Maher]

Have lived in.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

And. And our. Our are Making great strides and still work to be done. True. And let's try to accurately place ourselves where we are.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Is what I would say.

[Bryan Cranston]

I like that.

[Bill Maher]

But I still think you should go to the. Wasn't the show last night. Wasn't that the Golden Globes last night?

[Bryan Cranston]

It was, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Were you there?

[Bryan Cranston]

Were you.

[Bill Maher]

No. Not up for anything this year, though, on what you're doing.

[Bryan Cranston]

No. It's not surprising.

[Bill Maher]

Now, weren't the Golden Globes themselves cancelled? Because they were.

[Bryan Cranston]

They unwoke, like, completely. You know, Jared Carmichael, who hosted the show.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Bryan Cranston]

Young black.

[Bill Maher]

I know who he is. Sure.

[Bryan Cranston]

He had the temerity and the balls. And I was happy to hear that. That he said the reason I'm hosting this show tonight is because I'm black and get. Okay. It's like, here it is.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

And that. And.

[Bill Maher]

And that is to get back to our thing about the actor versus the comedian.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That is why he's a good comedian. That is what comedy does. It is like a divining rod.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That goes toward the thing that is true. It's the truth that everybody. That everybody either is thinking or recognizes when they hear it.

[Bryan Cranston]

Totally get that.

[Bill Maher]

Or phrases it better than they have. But. But it's the elephant in the room. And you're right. Good for him.

[Bryan Cranston]

Something beautiful about that.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, a lot of America is trying pretty hard in the last few years to make up for the sorry past.

[Bryan Cranston]

Let me ask you a question. In your work, did you ever pull up because. Pull up from the joke because you thought it was not gonna be received well, no.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, pull up from a joke. The only. I mean, I guess I could do that in the monologue. Cause that's just really a bullet point here or there. So I'm really saying it, but I don't remember doing it there. The editorial I do at the end is, you know, I worked hard on that all week getting every word exactly the way I want it. So I'm never gonna pull up on that.

[Bryan Cranston]

You worked really hard.

[Bill Maher]

No, I mean, you do. Yeah. I mean. I mean, I'm pulling up is not. Not the way I create a bond with my audience.

[Bryan Cranston]

No.

[Bill Maher]

You know, even if they don't agree with.

[Bryan Cranston]

Most people will look at your show and go, oh, my God, he's just winging it. He's just having a great time.

[Bill Maher]

That's what it should look like. That's exactly right. That's fantastic. If you think that's the skill. Part of the skill is to, you know, I Think the Italians call it sprezzatura. Like, to make something difficult look easy and, you know, hopefully, yes. I mean, I'm old school with showboats. Like, I'm there for them. Like, I don't ask the audience, like, if I have a problem. You don't hear about it. My mother died. You didn't hear about it. You know, some people do that. It's fine on talk shows. I'm not knocking it. It's just not me. Like, I am there for you. So, like, if I don't feel good, that's my issue. To work out before the show and to make the show just fly by and glide by and, yes, make serious things still say, still stay buoyant and funny at times and so that it's not, you know, a trip to the dentist to find out what happened in the world that week, you know, so, you know, I'm there for them. I will do what it takes to get to that point.

[Bryan Cranston]

I've never seen your show. Your Vegas show.

[Bill Maher]

Come with me to Vegas some weekend.

[Bryan Cranston]

I will. And. And how.

[Bill Maher]

How long is it, like, just guys your wife let you do? Like, just a guy?

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

Even if it was me, I've been

[Bryan Cranston]

married for 33 years.

[Bill Maher]

I know, but I'm known as a bad influence.

[Bryan Cranston]

No, you're not gonna. Your influence is not.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just saying be prepared to have your picture taken at the Spearmint Rhino at 2:00am It's. It's Vegas.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's great.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. So you. You would do that?

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You'd go to the experiment Rhino with me?

[Bryan Cranston]

I. I totally would.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, this is so going to happen.

[Bryan Cranston]

Let's do it.

[Bill Maher]

Let's do it now.

[Bryan Cranston]

Totally. I totally would go. I go to Vegas.

[Bill Maher]

The Lisa Marie is fueled up and ready to go.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm telling.

[Bill Maher]

I've got the peanut butter and banana sandwiches on ice. We are.

[Bryan Cranston]

How long is your show when you.

[Bill Maher]

When you do Vegas show different than any other city.

[Bryan Cranston]

Okay, so you go to 70 minutes. 70 minutes? Why?

[Bill Maher]

Because, like, normally I would do 90 or maybe a little more, but in Vegas, they always want to keep the show short because any minute you're in the showroom, you're not in the casino, losing the house.

[Bryan Cranston]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

So you want a little more? No, no, I have strict limits. No, really, seriously. It's important. At our age, you know, you just cannot. I mean, it's one of the saddest things in my life is that I have to be very careful and circumspect about how I Drink. Not that it's gonna kill me over tonight, but, like, come on, we're just not playing with the house money anymore. You know, I. I always say about health, and you look great. You look like you're in. In really good health. I mean, you know, Liam Hemsworth. I thought, one more time for the road, but. But here's how I look back on my decades and how I handled myself. There's a saying in sports. Whatever the defense will give you. In other words, like, if they're playing against the run, you throw the pass. If they're throwing against the pass, you know, we took what the defense would give us. I feel like that's what I did with my body. When my body in my 20s and 30s would allow me to have 30 drinks a week, I did it. I smoked cigarettes. You know, I mean, I just did stupid things, but my body didn't revolt enough to make me stop.

[Bryan Cranston]

Stop.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I still could function. You know, when you're. When you're 30, you can drink, have eight drinks at night and, you know, pass out or whatever, fall asleep pretty easily and bounce, and you're at work the next day. I couldn't. That is inconceivable at this point. I mean, I'm impressed with you, like, throwing these back, because that would knock me on my ass. Not that I'd be so drunk, I would just be sick for, like, till tomorrow.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, no. Well, purity. I don't smoke, but I. I do.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

I do. Like. I do like the drink, but I sip.

[Bill Maher]

No, I think.

[Bryan Cranston]

I don't.

[Bill Maher]

I think it's just. You probably have a very strong constitution.

[Bryan Cranston]

I do.

[Bill Maher]

Are you Irish?

[Bryan Cranston]

I am.

[Bill Maher]

Sure. Me, too. Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Irish and Jewish.

[Bill Maher]

Me too.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I mean, I have more Jew in me than you.

[Bryan Cranston]

I'm more Jew than you, is what you're saying.

[Bill Maher]

But it's. It's not a competition. Otherwise, we are. Not only are we going to. Excuse me. Not only are you. You and I going to go to Vegas and to the titty bar, I. But I feel Okay.

[Bryan Cranston]

I really want to see you show.

[Bill Maher]

You can.

[Bryan Cranston]

I want to see the show.

[Bill Maher]

No, I know you're coming with me on the plane. It's going to. We're. You're going to be gone a total of 30 hours.

[Bryan Cranston]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

You can see the show twice. We'll go.

[Bryan Cranston]

I will do that.

[Bill Maher]

Friday, late afternoon. We'll. We'll have. Friday night, after the show, we. We'll have brunch. A leisurely. I've done this before. Trust me. We'll have a leisurely brunch on Saturday. It'll be awesome. And then do whatever in the afternoon. Afternoon. Do the second show on Saturday night and get right back here. You'll be in your bed Saturday night at midnight.

[Bryan Cranston]

Great.

[Bill Maher]

Your wife will hardly know you're gone. She'll probably like it.

[Bryan Cranston]

She'll say, raul, is that you? Yeah, let's do it.

[Bill Maher]

No, I can't wait. But beyond that, I do think we should do some sort of reboot of the Bing Crosby Bob Hope road pictures. I think I'd be a good Bing. I mean a good Bob Hope. And I think you could do Bing Crosby.

[Bryan Cranston]

I think you're Bob and I'm Bing.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. I'm the comedian.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, and I can play that, you know, cowardly sort of letter schmuck, you know, that Bob Hope, for a guy who was so beloved, his character was a shyster. And in his personal life he was just known to be a huge, huge brick.

[Bryan Cranston]

Oh my God.

[Bill Maher]

Graydon Carter tells a great story. I read it like in somewhere, probably Vanity Fair, his magazine. But he was at, staying at Bob's house in Palm Springs. This is, I don't know, 25 years ago or something. And I don't know, I guess he was doing a story on him or something. You know, he was a well known editor, but you know, he became a much bigger. I think this is before the Vanity Fair Oscar party. But he was still Graydon Carter. And maybe it was after, it must have been because he was a sort of a celebrity himself. So what if whatever reason he was staying at Bob's house in Palm Springs? And he goes in, they put him to bed, you know, whatever. And you know, he says he's about to turn out the light. He said it was 11 o' clock at night and he hears this padding outside the door. And then a little faint knock. He opens the door, it's Bob. Bob says, hey,

[Bryan Cranston]

but I want to tell you, why are we going to

[Bill Maher]

town and pick up some girls? And then Graydon wrote he was 80 at the time.

[Bryan Cranston]

Unbelievable. But I want to tell you, yeah,

[Bill Maher]

I was going to town, pick up some girls.

[Bryan Cranston]

Pick up some girls.

[Bill Maher]

I mean. And of course, married Connie Francis, ladies and gentlemen. Connie Francis. And that's what you guys are fighting for.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, shit, it's 8 o'. Clock.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's 8 o'. Clock.

[Bill Maher]

All right, I'll let you go, good time brother. But I'm telling you, yeah, that was fun. You don't mind going from here to Here and then back. I love that about somebody when they can bounce from. We're very serious and then we're laughing and then we're serious and. Right. It's rare. It's.

[Bryan Cranston]

It's fun.

[Bill Maher]

How it should be.

[Bryan Cranston]

I. I admire the respect the. Out of you. This is probably.

[Bill Maher]

And I am. Do really, really.

[Bryan Cranston]

Do you. You are. You have, over the decades, been the voice of reason.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I hope so.

[Bryan Cranston]

I never miss your show.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, great. I never see it, so how can I miss it?

[Bryan Cranston]

You don't watch your show?

[Bill Maher]

No, that's Milton Burl. I never miss your show. I never see it. How can I miss it?

[Bryan Cranston]

See, I was serious.

[Bill Maher]

You were.

[Bryan Cranston]

You were in.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's why we should go pick up some girls.

[Bryan Cranston]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

80. Got to love that.

[Bryan Cranston]

Got to love it.

[Bill Maher]

Anyway, we're doing good.

[Bryan Cranston]

Thank you, man. All right.

[Bill Maher]

Let's have a good year. It's the beginning of a new one.

[Bryan Cranston]

New year.

[Bill Maher]

My birthday's in nine days. I'll get to 67 a little before my friend. I know, but look at us. We could play in a. Perhaps not the ingenue, but in a

[Bryan Cranston]

band of some sort.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not saying I could do Kate Hudson's part in Almost Famous, but I think.

[Bryan Cranston]

But I'd try Club random. Mom, can you tell me a story?

[Commercial/Announcer]

Sure. Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car.

[Bryan Cranston]

Was she brave?

[Commercial/Announcer]

She was tired most. But she went to Carvana.com and found a great car at a great price. No secret treasure map required.

[Bryan Cranston]

Did you have to find a dragon?

[Commercial/Announcer]

Nope. She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually. Was it scary? Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be. Did the car have a sunroof?

[Bryan Cranston]

It did, actually.

[Commercial/Announcer]

Okay, good story. Car buying. You'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply. This is the new Weight Watchers. Built for real life and real results no matter what mode you're in. Madi went all in for her big day and lost 33 pounds. Emily lost 85 pounds and hit her goal while still living her life. Weight Watchers gave me the tools and I feel amazing. Join the millions of members and lose weight with the number one doctor recommended weight loss program. Lose [e-mail] at six months, participants in the clinical trial of weight Watchers program lost an average of £12.