Drew Barrymore | Club Random

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Random with Bill Maher Featuring Drew Barrymore

Episode Title: Drew Barrymore | Club Random
Host: Bill Maher
Release Date: August 11, 2025

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1. Introduction and Personal Realizations (00:00 - 03:30)

The episode begins with light-hearted banter between Bill Maher and Drew Barrymore. Drew shares a moment of emotional vulnerability, admitting, "I had this realization I'm going to cry again because, you know." (00:01:12). This sets the tone for an intimate and candid conversation about personal growth and emotional journeys.

2. Career Reflections and Directorial Aspirations (02:00 - 05:27)

Bill compliments Drew on her directorial work, particularly her rollerball skating movie. Drew explains her limited foray into directing, citing her focus on raising children as the primary reason she hasn't pursued it further. She candidly states, "More kids" (01:45), highlighting the balance between personal life and professional ambitions.

3. Navigating Parenting and Emotional Challenges (05:27 - 12:22)

Drew delves into the complexities of motherhood, discussing how her past influences her parenting style. She mentions being in perimenopause and how it affects her emotional responses, saying, "I just might cry a lot" (02:53). The conversation touches on the intergenerational patterns of emotional expression and the challenges of maintaining sanity amidst parenting pressures.

4. Reflections on Relationships and Personal Growth (12:22 - 25:00)

Bill and Drew explore their perspectives on relationships, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and mutual respect. Drew proposes a "Promise Ceremony" as an alternative to traditional marriage, focusing on emotional commitment without legal bindings. She envisions it as "an excuse to be together" (04:05), fostering genuine connections without societal pressures.

5. Mental Health and Personal Development (25:00 - 37:52)

The discussion shifts to mental health, with both guests sharing their experiences and views. Bill expresses skepticism about traditional therapy, preferring self-reliance: "I don't think anybody should ask you to change" (05:48). Drew counters by emphasizing the value of professional support, stating, "He's so smart and interesting" (16:46). They highlight the significance of trust and self-awareness in personal development.

6. The Impact of Technology and Social Media (37:52 - 58:35)

Bill critiques the pervasive influence of technology and social media, arguing that it exacerbates negative human behaviors. He remarks, "People are waiting for that fuel, that sustenance, that treat in their mouth to just go hog wild on people" (06:05). Drew agrees, discussing the anxiety and reduced quality of life caused by constant online scrutiny, advocating for a more soulful and less invasive approach to life.

7. Sharing Personal Histories and Trauma (58:35 - 85:00)

Drew opens up about her childhood experiences, including institutionalization at age 13, and how these events shaped her worldview. She reflects, "Now if somebody says they don't want to sleep with you, do you want to commit suicide?" (04:18), highlighting the deep-seated fears stemming from her past. Bill shares his own struggles with depression, adding depth to their mutual understanding of trauma.

8. Friendship, Trust, and Authentic Connections (85:00 - 107:00)

The conversation emphasizes the importance of genuine friendships and trust. Drew admires Bill's ability to speak his truth, saying, "I love your humor and your intellect" (37:59). They discuss the challenges of maintaining authentic connections in a world dominated by superficial interactions, advocating for honest and supportive relationships.

9. Reflections on Fame and Public Persona (107:00 - 134:04)

Bill and Drew examine the dichotomy between their public personas and private selves. Drew appreciates Bill's authenticity, noting, "There's nothing that's like, oh, well, sure, she was, you know, drunk at seven" (38:27). Bill contrasts this with the often fragmented and misunderstood public image celebrities navigate, reinforcing the value of being true to oneself.

10. Future Endeavors and Collaborative Ideas (134:04 - End)

As the episode concludes, Bill and Drew brainstorm ideas for future collaborations, such as hosting joint dinner parties. They express enthusiasm for creating meaningful and fun experiences, free from the pressures of conventional social norms. Drew states, "I love travel. I love seeing the world" (101:26), indicating her desire to embrace life's adventures alongside authentic connections.

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Notable Quotes:

• Drew Barrymore: "I want it to be really, like, by the way, I know how to throw a great soiree. It'll be a fucking fantastic, like, time." (04:15)

• Bill Maher: "The secret is finding someone who doesn't want you to change and won't ask you to change." (20:27)

• Drew Barrymore: "It's the fear of getting in trouble." (07:08)

• Bill Maher: "Once you get into change territory, you're already doomed yourself." (20:27)

• Drew Barrymore: "I have found my voice, which was amazing." (50:36)

• Bill Maher: "People are waiting for that fuel, that sustenance, that treat in their mouth to just go hog wild on people." (56:34)

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Conclusion:

In this deeply personal and candid episode of Club Random, Bill Maher and Drew Barrymore navigate a wide array of topics, from personal trauma and mental health to the impact of technology on human behavior. Their conversation underscores the importance of authenticity, genuine relationships, and personal growth, offering listeners a rich and engaging narrative that transcends typical political discourse.

Transcript

[Bill Maher]

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[Drew Barrymore]

And I. I had this realization I'm going to cry again because, you know.

[Bill Maher]

I got the box club.

[Drew Barrymore]

To get away with shit.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I'll do it for free.

[Drew Barrymore]

Cheers to that. That sound effect was really interesting.

[Bill Maher]

Lady of the house here.

[Drew Barrymore]

Lady of the house, you.

[Bill Maher]

Hi. Oh, so glad you're here.

[Drew Barrymore]

I used to try to do yoga in here and it was like.

[Bill Maher]

I know, too.

[Drew Barrymore]

Like, you brought good air into it.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I have to tell you, not only am I thrilled that you're here, but this is the first time we've ever used this bench.

[Drew Barrymore]

I heard. But then I got into my inner director and I was like, well, you have three quarter shots, not even over sides. So you're getting more than a profile, which is really well done.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not a director, so I don't really know what you're talking about. But there are cameras. I get the layman's basic idea.

[Drew Barrymore]

I just.

[Bill Maher]

No, I know. You are a director. You directed that awesome, you know, rollerball skating movie.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes. You saw it?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, everybody saw it.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, my God. Thank you. That means so much to me.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, because people. I mean, who thinks of you first as a director? Very few. And why didn't you do it?

[Drew Barrymore]

More kids.

[Bill Maher]

Kids?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

What they run on the set while you're directing? Are we dicks? Too much time.

[Drew Barrymore]

I want it to be like a really. And by the way, I'm in perimenopause, so I just might cry a lot. So because I'm in that mood where.

[Bill Maher]

Like, well, I didn't think you have to wait for menopause for that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Come on, by the way, I haven't. But you know what? I didn't. And my mom used to cry all the time. And of course as a kid you're like, oh God, that's so embarrassing. And then my kids see me cry all the time, but. But yes. No. I didn't wait till perimenopause to become a crier, but now it comes out in a spilkess way that's so insane. It's like I'm like horses on the edge of a cliff. Like, whoa.

[Bill Maher]

What is this word you're saying before menopause?

[Drew Barrymore]

Perry.

[Bill Maher]

Who's Perry? I never heard that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Perry is like, you're not there, you're not in the club yet, but you're in the line at the stanchions.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I see you're on the waiting list.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm in the waiting list, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So it's coming and you still feel physical effects.

[Drew Barrymore]

I know. Cause it did go to like a sexual place there, by the way. I know. I've been living in like such a sexually minded place doing Hollywood Squares the last two weeks.

[Bill Maher]

What? Why? Does that make you sexual?

[Drew Barrymore]

No, it doesn't make me sexual. But you heard the kind of jokes we do in there and it's, it's just a naughty, fun place.

[Bill Maher]

Certainly not the Hollywood Squares. I remember from childhood, right.

[Drew Barrymore]

I know someone asked me, they were like, is this for kids? I was like, no, I don't think it is.

[Bill Maher]

No, it's definitely not. And when is it going on?

[Drew Barrymore]

It goes the fall. No, I think it'll come in January again.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, on CBS at night, right?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes, at like 10 o'. Clock.

[Bill Maher]

Cause I used to watch it at 10 in the morning when I was like sick. It was like a real treat.

[Drew Barrymore]

The Price is Right and Hollywood Squares lets me know that I am a child homesick. I am not at school, but more not at work.

[Bill Maher]

Right. And since you had such a normal childhood.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, who better to speak about that?

[Drew Barrymore]

I know. And by the way, like we all.

[Bill Maher]

Had that childhood where we were like taking cocaine at 8 at Studio 54. I think we all can relate.

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, I remember I don't regret a thing though. Well, I loved all of it.

[Bill Maher]

You did?

[Drew Barrymore]

I did. I really did. I really do now. But it's hilarious being a mom because I'm like, oh my God, you can't do that.

[Bill Maher]

But see, that's Funny, because I would think. And by the way, so glad we're starting early today because I'm having liquor for breakfast.

[Drew Barrymore]

Great.

[Bill Maher]

It's awesome.

[Drew Barrymore]

Nothing better to do, by the way. I like to party at 9am and then be done by like 3 to 6pm you know what? If I can even go that long.

[Bill Maher]

As I've gotten older. I never used to get high in the day and now I'm the same way. It's like, why not take advantage of the natural. Well, the sun is great when you're high.

[Drew Barrymore]

The best nature, man.

[Bill Maher]

You have more energy.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

So if you, you know, some people don't like getting high. That's perfectly fine. Pot doesn't work on everybody, but if it does work on you, why not use it when you're like peeking.

[Drew Barrymore]

This is my last tattoo and it's like I. Time.

[Bill Maher]

Time.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, I think about it differently now for the first time and I. I like that. That's like a new way of thinking for me.

[Bill Maher]

What is time? Oh, time.

[Drew Barrymore]

Like I had just so much time to burn all life, you know, because you're young and you're stupid.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, so menopause, that makes you what, 50?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, Perry.

[Bill Maher]

But you look great for 50. Thanks. I mean, you're still super is all you. All you can ask for at what, at 50, right, is you just want to stay fuckable.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, no person is ever going to be like very few, you know, for everybody. Some, you know, I mean, my age, you know, a lot of people would rule that out. But you know, still, like, I would say the pool of men.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm shocked to hear you sell yourself short because you come out like such a Coxman on your show. It's like insane the level of fucking bravado you have.

[Bill Maher]

But okay. But there's a certain percentage of women, and I would say it's a lot, who, if you suggested, you know, being with a 70 year old man, they'd be like, fuck no.

[Drew Barrymore]

Are you 70?

[Bill Maher]

Shortly. In a few months. Like in six months.

[Drew Barrymore]

You look fucking great.

[Bill Maher]

So do you. I think it's something in the pot.

[Drew Barrymore]

And the iced tea. I drink tea all day long. I think it's preserving me.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I take also a million supplements.

[Drew Barrymore]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

You know, they have stuff now.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. So they say.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, I think it works because I also give it to the dogs and they seem to live forever.

[Drew Barrymore]

Okay, I need some of that shit for my dogs.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I mean, they. I mean, I don't know what it is. Doggy Flintstone. Vitamins or whatever.

[Drew Barrymore]

But see, that's what I'm trained on is the Flintstone vitamins. So, like, I only just started thinking about health recently when I realized, oh, to time, you know, like. And I'd like to elongate it now, which was just not like a thought I had, you know.

[Bill Maher]

But you've had so many. I mean, we all had. If we're 50 and up, different eras in our life, you know, like this era already.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm only a few months the 50, right?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I think you will.

[Drew Barrymore]

I feel like my life has begun in a lot of ways.

[Bill Maher]

It's so true. As someone 20 years ahead of you, I'm telling you, I think you'll like it a lot. I did. I liked it more because I wasn't stupid.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes, yes.

[Bill Maher]

To put it just bluntly, I'm just not stupid. Like I was when I was young.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I always wanted to trust something or someone and I finally found like the deepest and most profound trust. And do you know who it fucking is with you? Me? Yeah, exactly.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's like I feel born and liberated in ways that I did not think possible in my whole life. And it's like the wizard of Oz, Technicolor. You're like, oh my God.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I think black and white is beautiful. So it's not like everything was shit and I regret or I wish I could have done it all differently. It's like I did not think that I would talk about psychedelic, man. I didn't think I could be on this earth and know peace or trust or self protection or these things that I'm knowing now that are so foreign, but they've. It's not like I didn't know they existed. I just didn't know if I would ever reach it.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I feel the same way, especially with relationships with women. Like there was when I was, you know, 20s or 30s, I didn't even. Wasn't even able to give a woman what she needed. I just didn't know then I knew and I didn't have the means in different ways to provide. Now I feel like I know and I can give it to you, and that's a great thing. And also to not be needy, like, you know, I mean, we've all. Look, I never got married, so like, that's a whole different kettle of fish than you. I mean, when I moved to this house next door, you were living here. You were married to Tom.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's right. By the way, had we gotten married yet? Were we?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. Oh, you Were totally married.

[Drew Barrymore]

We were.

[Bill Maher]

In fact, I was living here next door for two weeks when the house burned down. And I don't know if you remember.

[Drew Barrymore]

Welcome home.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know if you remember this, but I had a brief conversation with you. I want to say over the fence, but it couldn't be that because we don't really have a fence. We have a line of trees, but some. Maybe the driveway. But I do remember talking to you. And again, I lived here two weeks, and it was just a very friendly, neighborly. Hey, how you doing? You know, And I said to you, like, oh, what are. What are you doing for the weekend? Any. Anything interesting? And you said last words before the fire. I'm cooking dinner tonight, I swear to God. And the next thing you know, I'm on the phone in the morning.

[Drew Barrymore]

Fucking comedy gold.

[Bill Maher]

It must have been a Sunday that the house.

[Drew Barrymore]

So we just have a smash cut between I'm cooking dinner and.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's how it plays in the mind. And it's perfection.

[Bill Maher]

So my. My bedroom must be on the. It is on the other side of the house, closest to this property. So I didn't even hear the fire. I woke up my usual time at noon on Sunday and texted my assistant, which I never do on the weekend. You know, I don't bother my assistants on the weekend.

[Drew Barrymore]

I literally. I have such a policy of please don't bother coworkers on the weekend.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, some people. Most people. There are some. Of course, I'm calling constantly in New York.

[Bill Maher]

So I said, where's my Sunday New York Times? She said, well, they couldn't get it to you because there's 16 fire trucks on the block.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, by the way, that basically, it's not just funny, it's also like, if I cook dinner, the house might burn down. So it's funny and it's fucking true. I will always blame myself for that fire. I'll always be like, I did something wrong. I'm like a guilty person by nature. Everything is my fault.

[Bill Maher]

Well, sure. You wanted to get out of the marriage, so you burned the house down. I think we all.

[Drew Barrymore]

If only it was that easy.

[Bill Maher]

Whenever I hear the Miley Cyrus flowers song. Yeah, I think of you because there's that line in it. We. You know, she's really talking about her marriage to Liam. Liam Neeson. That would be different. Liam Hensbrook.

[Drew Barrymore]

But equally as hot in a way. Absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

I just. I was just watching a trailer for a movie he's doing Make a Gun.

[Drew Barrymore]

It looks fucking Amazing.

[Bill Maher]

That's hysterical. That's going to be hysterical. That's Seth.

[Drew Barrymore]

Seth MacFarlane and Akiva Schaeffer directing. I fucking cannot wait. It's the movie I'm the most excited about.

[Bill Maher]

No, but this is one. He makes these. So many of them. And this one takes place in Mount Everest. He goes to bury his friend, dies. And, you know, he's got to be 75 now. It looks the same. And he's going to bury. He's going to take his friend's ashes. Who wants to be buried on Mount Everest? Of course, he runs into bad guys and, like, guns and buses going off cliffs.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yep.

[Bill Maher]

But. No, but her song, she says, we built a home and burned it down. Do you know the song Flowers? It was, like, the biggest hit last year.

[Drew Barrymore]

I played it every day coming out to the show. My favorite song.

[Bill Maher]

You know that lyric, right? And we all know that their house did burn down.

[Drew Barrymore]

Theirs did, too.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. In Malibu.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, no.

[Bill Maher]

When we had, like, the Paradise Fire.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, why is that? That's such a clear state of me. With me, I'm like, I'm sure I caused everything wrong. And with her, I'm like, oh, their house burned down. Total empathy. Oh, that's too bad for them. That's traumatizing. I'm so sorry that happened. Me, I'm like, it's a short list.

[Bill Maher]

Of celebrities who burned their house down to get out of the marriage.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, shit, I'm happy to be in a with them. And I'm really sorry that we're all in it, but here we are at this club. I can't. I'm so thrilled. I had been thinking about you so much. Cause, you know, I watch your show every week.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so glad. Thank you.

[Drew Barrymore]

Every week. And that's awesome. Yeah, it's like, I see you every Friday night. So here we are in my old house.

[Bill Maher]

What do you think of what I've done with the place? I felt it was nice when you had it, but it wasn't skeezy enough. You didn't even have a stripper pole.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, there is a stripper pole, but it's painted white, which is interesting. Much more elevated Elle Decor doing stripper pulls.

[Bill Maher]

Well, yeah, you're right. I didn't notice that.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's a classy one. And then Whitney's doll, who I've already taken pictures with. P.S.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Barrymore]

And no, this was a student of Frank Lloyd Wright's. At least that's what they told me.

[Bill Maher]

The Crooked Door is so unique.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I love Frank Lloyd Wright, so much love.

[Bill Maher]

But what did you do with this when you had. This was Yoda.

[Drew Barrymore]

Nothing. Really nothing. I did nothing.

[Bill Maher]

But didn't you build the Tiki?

[Drew Barrymore]

Why, when this house burned down, did I just not move into one of the other little houses? It's a compound. It's like a commune, which I could easily see myself living in.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I assumed that the fire with my friends precipitated the divorce in some way. You know, it's like, sometimes traumas happen in marriages, and then you can't get over it. And it's like, you burn the house down. No, you burn the house down.

[Drew Barrymore]

Tom and I had already been through, like, him going through cancer on camera, which was something like I never would have expected, because as much as I'm an open person and have been an exhibitionist at times throughout my life, but, like, really liberal and free and, like, you know, expressive and finding, you know, out who I was kind of a way, I was not someone who, like, wanted to bring a camera into my personal life. And I did not know how to do that with him, so.

[Bill Maher]

And he insisted.

[Drew Barrymore]

He didn't insist. I was trying to go with the flow, you know, which in some ways could sound like people pleasing, and in some ways could be like, I just didn't know myself well enough.

[Bill Maher]

People pleasing is not a dirty word.

[Drew Barrymore]

You know, it doesn't have to be, but it has the most negative connotation. It is a word that has had no favors.

[Bill Maher]

That's well put. I mean, yes, you can take anything too far, but, like, if I love somebody, I want to please them, and there are people that would be people pleasing. And I find it wonderful when they, you know, to kowtow. But if they want to please me.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was just having this conversation literally yesterday. I was like, who, if you're in a relationship, like, who is going to inspire you to be able to sit down across from and say, I'm having a problem. I'm having an issue. There's something that has happened where you have done this. And even if you word it in the most kind ways, the most unpersecutive, the most unbinding to feeling guilty, like, even if you use the I feel or what my experience is, even if you're so poetic and gentle about it, having a problem in a relationship also connotates you having to then hear something about yourself and do you care about that person enough to change? But you will also then be questioning something about yourself when you've worked so hard to finally stop putting yourself down or liking yourself enough to wanna be that in a relationship, you have to like someone enough, trust them enough to alter yourself to fit them too. Because then if you trust them, you'll be coming from the right place, you'll be working in harmony with someone. But I think trust has been like. I think that's the most important thing.

[Bill Maher]

Well, where I fundamentally don't go with that.

[Drew Barrymore]

I can't wait to hear it. Give me yes.

[Bill Maher]

No is you use the words change and alter, and I'll tell you who fixes this problem. It's on your wrist. It's time. When you're first in a relationship, you know, it's always when it's going good, like, the person is always more than happy to, like, do it your way. It's like, you know, maybe you don't want to see the same movie. And it just. Everyone is always picking up the check for the other person. Everyone's always metaphorically, you know, I'm sure you picked up your share of real checks with some of the losers you've gone out with. I mean, did you ever go out with someone who was richer than you? No. Okay, all right. But I'm saying metaphorically picking up the check. You know what I'm saying? It's like, no, let me do it for you. That's when it's going good, when it's going bad. It's like, why don't I get my way on this? It's always your way. Like, why do we have to do it? And there's this resentment that you're doing things you don't want to do for the other person. It's like, you know, and it winds up this horse trading of, well, I did this for you, then you do this for me.

[Drew Barrymore]

Fucking horse trading.

[Bill Maher]

And so my view of relationships is. And I took a long time to learn this, but once you get into change territory, you're already doomed yourself. The secret is finding someone who doesn't want you to change and won't ask you to change. And you the same of them. That's how, if you want the short, skinny version, I think of what is going to work and what's not. Long run, that's got to be it. Anything else is, the fuse is lit and the time bomb is ticking. Because we don't want to change who we are. If you're healthy, you like who you are, you should love who you are. I love you even more now because, I mean, I never talk to you like this. You're. You're a little different than you are on tv.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And you know, really, like, you know, I like it that there's no people pleasing here. You know, you're just telling me the truth, which is great. Which is what I'm going for. And that's, you know, I don't think anybody should ask you to change. And I don't think at 50, it's a. It's a smart move anyway, because you're kind of set. You know, whenever somebody asks me what are your New Year's resolutions, I always say to do the ones from 1975. Because I basically, you know, I've tried to, like, address. Some things are just baked in the cake, you know. Right. Anyway, I see I've somehow.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, it's so good.

[Bill Maher]

You're just tuning in. I didn't beat her up. Okay. They'll just cut this and then AI will be like, bill Maher beat her up and she was crying.

[Drew Barrymore]

Give him a box of tissues. Yeah, I bet they're not for crying.

[Bill Maher]

Well, sometimes I cry with laughter. Sometimes I'm laughing so hard it's not blows out of my nose.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's my favorite thing in the world. I mean, I.

[Bill Maher]

Sometimes that happens. We have a whole reel of that happening.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, fucking spit takes is the greatest thing in the world. It's up there with orgasm. It really is. Well, cut, print. Moving on.

[Bill Maher]

Did you, like, see I love you set me up for a great life. I love doing that. We're talking about giving and, you know, as opposed to, like, what.

[Drew Barrymore]

That was genuine.

[Bill Maher]

But I'm serious. Like, I love being the straight men. Martin Short did his Jiminy Glick character on my show last year to look and like, all I did was just, you know, play the exact straight man you need to be with Jiminy Glick. You don't want to compete. I've seen people try to do that and it's like, just let. Let the fucking. Let the plumber fix the sink here.

[Drew Barrymore]

Except for. I don't know if I could fully be the straight man. I think I love it, but I love it too. I don't know if I can do it all. I don't know how to really do it. But I love it. I love all the things I can't be or anybody can't be. That's why I love comedians so much, because they have the most bravery with actual medicine. They are medicinal to me. Well, yes, because the laughter, the state of the physical realm in laughter to me is as good as the orgasm.

[Bill Maher]

I agree with that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, fantastic.

[Bill Maher]

And they're the only two. The reason why orgasm and laughter are the best is because they're the most honest. You can't. Love is tainted. I'm sorry. It's the greatest, but it's also tainted with feelings and prejudice.

[Drew Barrymore]

Love is up there with people pleaser. It's been beaten down and fucked over and fucked up and so turned inside out and pretzel that we no longer know.

[Bill Maher]

You can, like, not know, am I in love? Is it love? You don't say that about an orgasm, right? You don't say. Was that. I mean, if you do, you're doing it wrong. So. And a laugh is totally involuntary.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

That's why I love making the people who, like, don't agree with me from the get. If I make them laugh about something, I know they're like, oh, there must be some truth in that, because I wasn't. I didn't want to laugh. And yet there it is.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

So orgasm and laughter. I agree.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's it.

[Bill Maher]

If you could just live on that.

[Drew Barrymore]

My next tattoo.

[Bill Maher]

AI. How can I. How can I make my laughs, by the way?

[Drew Barrymore]

Just artificial. They can't. I mean. Well, I mean, they could be adjacent to orgasm and laughter. They can aid in it, but they can't give it to you.

[Bill Maher]

Right. Can you have an orgasm if you're not in love?

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, can't everybody?

[Bill Maher]

What are you doing Tuesday? I'm like, no, not at all.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was about to be like, it's Tuesday. And then I was like, wait, what fucking day of the week is it? What day is it?

[Bill Maher]

But no, not everybody can. Have you ever met a Christian? They can't. Or so they say. Of course. They probably the worst, those types. Right?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. I think everybody, when I say everybody, I love everybody and everyone is equally capable of crazy. It's like, it isn't. I do have the very equal playing field gene, but I don't know if.

[Bill Maher]

They have equal capacity for orgasm. I think some people need.

[Drew Barrymore]

You would have to individually go through each person and ask them how powerful there was.

[Bill Maher]

I think there's a type of person, let's just call them Christian conservative. Christian conservatives, you know, people who voted for Trump and, you know, which doesn't make you bad.

[Drew Barrymore]

No.

[Bill Maher]

And who go to church and very often, you know, there's a big movement now of, you know, like, let's have more babies, you know, and also. But also, like those types, they tend to, like, mate for life, or so they say. But, you know, the Bible, they go by their. So, like, it's like you have to be able to have an orgasm with this one person who's, you know, that's gotta get old. You married at 18, right?

[Drew Barrymore]

You know, I wrote this thing and I gave it to someone right before they were gonna get married and I got disinvited to the wedding.

[Bill Maher]

Seriously?

[Drew Barrymore]

Seriously.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, my God.

[Drew Barrymore]

And it was like this essay about, you know, how marriage, when people used to have a 30 year lifespan or their closest conversation was, you know, a very long horse ride away. Marriage was such a different thing.

[Bill Maher]

Such a different thing. Yes.

[Drew Barrymore]

And so I shared it with them and got disinvited to their wedding. And I was like, you know, man, you are too sensitive. You took that personally. I just think we should be letting people off the hook.

[Bill Maher]

That shows how delicate it is, like getting married and how much people know. Because that it could be bad. Because just what your thing suggested to her, why it was a him, why it freaked him out, was this idea that, yes, marriage was easy, as you say, but it was like.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't think it was easy, but it was like it was all you had.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Drew Barrymore]

It was everything.

[Bill Maher]

I met a girl in the next prayer.

[Drew Barrymore]

Wait, can we go sit in the other chairs or should we stay here if we're staying here.

[Bill Maher]

If you're not comfortable, let's move.

[Drew Barrymore]

Okay. Here we go. No.

[Bill Maher]

You sure?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. Now I'm perfect.

[Bill Maher]

All right. You know, if it was like, well, I might meet somebody at the butter churning. You know, Pull up a barrel.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bill Maher]

But like.

[Drew Barrymore]

But now I didn't know where you were going and I. I love a butter churn. So my mind went way off into the butter churn land. And then he brough. If all you have is the butter churn, marriage looks great.

[Bill Maher]

And now it's the opposite. We're just bombarded with images and people. Especially if you live in an urban area, you know, you just. And people are all hoes now. You know, no one is like holding out except those Christian ladies and they're not around.

[Drew Barrymore]

I have this thing that I really want to do. And the working title is Promise ceremony. But what I'd like to do is open up a cottage industry. And people go and they have all the people, they have the weekend. You wear the dress, you do the rituals with all your friends, and there's even a ring. You get at that promise ceremony and you go up to that mountaintop and you have, you know, that moment in front of everyone and you have this fantastic party and brunch the next day and you do it in A way that is so aspirational for you and your life and the people that you want to show them your pride.

[Bill Maher]

But there's nothing legally binding. That's the good part. So you're saying you want the emotional experience of all that bullshit and the.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, well, I want it to be really fucking. I want it to be like, by the way, I know how to throw a great soiree. It'll be a fucking fantastic, like, time. Because it's like, it's an excuse to be together. And there are people out there in the world that you're like, somehow you had my back this whole time. And I'd like you to see that I'm okay now. And some people you're like, I love you so much. I don't. I love sharing things with you. I want you to be a part of this moment. There are all the good intentions that. And all the, you know, pomp and circumstance, which also has gotten a bad rap.

[Bill Maher]

What was your best marriage like? You had three. One was like very brief.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, one, I'm probably going to get arrested because it was, you know, we really just kind of, you know.

[Bill Maher]

You were children, right?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You were just.

[Drew Barrymore]

And it was just.

[Bill Maher]

It was like a Britney Spears moment.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, Brittany. I don't say that about Britney. I'm like, oh, yeah, sure.

[Bill Maher]

No, but she got married for like.

[Drew Barrymore]

Two seconds once, right, In Vegas that one night.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, I don't know what their agreement was. I know what mine was. And Brittany is someone I could probably laugh with and I could be like, this was what was going on with me this night. And she could tell me what was going on with her that night. And I don't know if they line up, but they were both highly impulsive.

[Bill Maher]

Do you know her? Because you would be a great mentor.

[Drew Barrymore]

This much.

[Bill Maher]

I'm watching Justin Bieber these days on TMZ go nuts. And I'm like, you know, I bet you if I could sit with this kid for 25 minutes, I could straighten him out. Not that, you know, you can.

[Drew Barrymore]

He would have to be ready and it would be like, where we need it.

[Bill Maher]

I think nobody tells people in that. I mean, you know this as a child star.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was speaking.

[Bill Maher]

Nobody says no or tells you the truth because they just want to curry your favor. They just want to. To give you ice cream because you. You asking for ice cream again, metaphorically or maybe really?

[Drew Barrymore]

Or here's the thing. And I, I had this realization. I'm. I'm going to cry again. Cuz you know, I got the box.

[Bill Maher]

That's what's called being a gentleman. You have the box of.

[Drew Barrymore]

Thank you. It matches my outfit.

[Bill Maher]

No, I needed one too. It's a three hanky movie.

[Drew Barrymore]

You gotta be able to like laugh and cry about it. They're twins. Someone said laughter and crying are twins. Once.

[Bill Maher]

They are.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I was like, that's it.

[Bill Maher]

Tears.

[Drew Barrymore]

They're inextricably linked. Yeah, they're the same physical motion and they're totally on a seesaw together going up and down. The thing about all the people were referencing who I don't posture to know. I really don't know them. I've had some interactions with them.

[Bill Maher]

You're right.

[Drew Barrymore]

You know, and somebody could be like, oh, you're at Britney Spears wedding. What are you talking about? You don't know her. That's not the point.

[Bill Maher]

You know, it's exhausting. Don't get me started. Choices. We used to have three channels. Now we have 800 and still nothing to watch. Well, okay. The same applies. If you're a business owner who's hiring, it can be overwhelming to have too many candidates to sort through. Again, the analogy may not hold, but this part is true. You're in luck. ZipRecruiter now gives you the power to proactively find and connect with the best ones quickly. How? Through their innovative resume database. You don't have time to wade through a sea of passionate teams. Players who thrive in fast placed environments. No, no, no. ZipRecruiter filters the fluff. You see a resume you like easy. You unlock their contact info instantly. And with 320,000 new resumes added monthly, the talent just keeps rolling in. Skip the candidate overload. Instead, streamline your hiring with ZipRecruiter cy 4 out of 55 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com random right now to try it for free. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com random ziprecruiter the smartest way to hire. Well, I think we can all agree that therapy has helped many people. If you've made it through the last few years with with your sanity fully intact, congratulations. You're lying and pretending that everything is fine. But you know what's even more stressful than needing therapy? Finding it. That's where Rula comes in. It's therapy for people who don't have the time or money for nonsense. Rula partners with 100 plus insurance plans, so an average session clocks in around 15 bucks. They don't just throw you into a therapist therapist directory and wish you luck. Rula looks at your goals, preferences and background, then matches you with a real licensed therapist who actually has openings. Like this week, they even follow up to be sure the match is working. Imagine that mental health care that acts like it gives a damn. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high quality therapy that's actually covered. Covered by Insurance. Visit rula.comrandom to get started. After you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know we sent you. That's R u l a.com random. You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget like you were.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, actually it's that I don't want to sit here and talk like I understand them, know them, or have privy information about them. I hate that. That's not what I'm going to do.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. But you do share something with them that so few of us share.

[Drew Barrymore]

And that's what I'm going to share with you right now.

[Bill Maher]

This is a young stardom.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's what I'm going to share with you right now.

[Bill Maher]

It's a club you're in. It's small.

[Drew Barrymore]

A lifetime of your most tender ages going through the toughest stuff. What do people expect? Are you kidding me? I think it's let them be. Like, it's hard. It is hard to go through that stuff and it lives with you for a very long time until maybe you work so hard on yourself and you hit 50 and you say, I'm done. I'm ready to move on to another era that doesn't include all of that heaviness. But until that point, it's a miracle I got here. Most people don't because it's too much for people at those ages.

[Bill Maher]

I hope you give yourself a little credit for the triumph of being so sane. And trust me, I'm the one guy who doesn't like who pretend people are sane when they're.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I know.

[Bill Maher]

So when I say you're sane, you're sane.

[Drew Barrymore]

I know your litmus test.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, absolutely.

[Drew Barrymore]

I appreciate it.

[Bill Maher]

And I'm telling you, I have talked to somebody. I've talked to so many people.

[Drew Barrymore]

I love your humor and your intellect. Thank you.

[Bill Maher]

So many people who have much less fucked up things in their past than you, who are so much more distracted, not on point or say, you know, this happens all the time on this show, whatever it is, podcast where like, somebody will be like, oh, they're great. I don't. I get along with everybody. I just love talking to people when I'm high. I can do it with anybody.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, totally.

[Bill Maher]

It's called club random. That's what it's. You know, I can do the hawktua girl and David Mack the next day. And I love that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

But very often someone's on and they're nuts, a dumb person, and we're agreeing on a lot of things, and then they just say one thing that's like, oh, they didn't land on the moon. You know what I mean? And you're like. And I see none of that with you. Like, there's nothing that's like, oh, well, sure, she was, you know, drunk at seven. Of course she's gonna, you know, think the chemtrails. But no, you're all good. Maybe that made you saner in a way.

[Drew Barrymore]

You know, I did the work. Yeah, I do the work.

[Bill Maher]

What is the work?

[Drew Barrymore]

That's a lot of work.

[Bill Maher]

But put some meat on that bone. I don't know. Cause I don't put the meat on that bone.

[Drew Barrymore]

That bone is gonna snap in half.

[Bill Maher]

Cause I don't know if I've ever done the work or wanted to.

[Drew Barrymore]

Here's a question.

[Bill Maher]

I want to do the work. I just want to.

[Drew Barrymore]

Look, do you have a chimney cricket on your shoulder that sits. That fucking thing you do that you won't stop doing is the fucking worst thing. And it makes you hate yourself.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but again, because I know I haven't done the new year's resolutions from 1975.

[Drew Barrymore]

I write myself a postcard every year.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just not gonna, like, kill myself about the things I didn't get right, you know?

[Drew Barrymore]

It's not the things you didn't get right. It's the thing you're still doing that you refuse to let go of. You will not break that habit. And you give yourself permission to hate your and beat up on yourself.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, this is a good example that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Does the work to me.

[Bill Maher]

Like. Like, this is a great example of that, like, 1975 resolution.

[Drew Barrymore]

Smoke less pot.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I was just beginning to smoke pot. But yeah, like. Like the things you think you need to be high on pot to do, you can do sober. That was a resolution.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, but are they as fun?

[Bill Maher]

No. Exactly. So after 50 years, fuck that resolution. It's just like, yes.

[Drew Barrymore]

And also, maybe this is how I like being in the world.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, they've been. People have been doing stuff to alter themselves since they found the first leaf in the caves. Man has always needed a little something something.

[Bill Maher]

Wine, women and song became sex, drugs and rock and roll.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yep.

[Bill Maher]

But it's the same.

[Drew Barrymore]

And Taco Tuesday.

[Bill Maher]

Right. And now we have even.

[Drew Barrymore]

They literally, they have been wanting to get off and get loose since the dawn of human beings.

[Bill Maher]

And there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, my life would be so diminished without marijuana.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I think I feel like we would not even be sitting here. I wouldn't own your own house. I'd be in a two bedroom apartment in Van Nuys. Seriously, we all have our demons. And.

[Drew Barrymore]

I want to live in a world and I'm pretty not naive at this point to believe it's not possible. But I ideally still keep wishing that we could live in a world where we would just allow each other to be who. I mean, we have to, of course, encourage and figure out how to be our best selves. That's the work.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

But I don't remember the last time I thrived under abusive scrutiny. And I wish that for everybody to have more encouragement to be their best selves.

[Bill Maher]

You mean like social media, abusive scrutiny, that kind of stuff?

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, I had a version of that when I was 13 years old.

[Bill Maher]

So like even before we had phones.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I know what 13 year olds feel like when they're feeling that and I feel like that.

[Bill Maher]

And they kill themselves sometimes.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's the scariest thing. That's why we should not behave this way.

[Bill Maher]

I contemplated suicide when I was like 19. I don't think I was.

[Drew Barrymore]

Do you remember why?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, because I couldn't get laid because I went to Cornell. Causes you to want to kill yourself. There's. Thank you, Alma material. Yeah, that was it, really. But I, you know, put an intellectual sheen on the whole thing and made it because I was doing great intellectually. Like I loved the courses and I mean, it was. It kept me going.

[Drew Barrymore]

Right. But.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but that's really what it was. If one girl had shown any interest or I knew how to get one, trust me, my depression would have lifted immediately.

[Drew Barrymore]

That was like. That was the endorphins that would have done it for you.

[Bill Maher]

Right. Well, you know.

[Drew Barrymore]

And now.

[Bill Maher]

Now what?

[Drew Barrymore]

Now if somebody says they don't want to sleep with you, do you want to commit suicide?

[Bill Maher]

No, no, no. I wouldn't even ask.

[Drew Barrymore]

And do you think that you ever really did have a time where you like, in all seriousness were like, I don't want to be here on this earth?

[Bill Maher]

I thought so. At that period And I've had many times when I was depressed. I mean, getting dumped in high school. I mean, you know, there was a year of waking up every day with a knot in my stomach from the moment I woke up to the. There's nothing worse in life except maybe physical pain that I luckily haven't had to that degree than like, wanting the thing you want more than anything that you think is the only key to your happiness is another person who does not want you. Probably cause you fucked it up. And that's, you know, that's worse than someone who you never had a thing with. Maybe you could convince them and tell. But once you, like, turn the key and the. I always say women have a pilot light in the back. Like, you can let it go down, but once you turn the pilot light.

[Drew Barrymore]

Off, oh, my God. That's my theory.

[Bill Maher]

Cannot be relit.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, my God. I talk with that with my girlfriends all the time.

[Bill Maher]

The ick, you know?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, the ick.

[Bill Maher]

You give the ick to that degree.

[Drew Barrymore]

I visualize it as you go to, like, the pool and you, like, put bricks on your feet and you go in and you sit there under the water, like looking up at the surface. And at that very last gasp when it's like if you stand there one more second, you're gonna die. You release yourself, you come up to the surface, you get out of the pool, and you are so done, you'll never look back. And anything having to do with that person you did. This is the ics. It's all a metaphor.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, but some people do things like this.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh. Oh, God. I was speaking metaphorically. Like, we go. We almost go to the last ends of our own personal depths for someone. And it's like once you turn that pilot light, once you decide to get out of that pole, once you decide for your own salvation, it's like the iron door, it's closed forever. I think that about women, and it.

[Bill Maher]

Happens a lot to women because guys, they do hide in the weeds and then become something different. I've just heard the story too many times for women, like, very often it happens after the marriage because, like, hide in the weeds.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, God, that's so terrifying and so apt and such a great visual, I gotta say.

[Bill Maher]

You know, a lot of things you criticize me, like commitment phobe, they call them lots of, sure, I never got married. Call me whatever name you want. One good thing about me, while they would also say it's a bad thing, is I don't change. I never was that guy who hide in the weeds. I'm not gonna turn into a monster. I never did. I'm not gonna be fundamentally different. I'm also not ever gonna become a boyfriend, husband, or father.

[Drew Barrymore]

Father.

[Bill Maher]

So that's me. Always the same. But that's better than the hide in the weeds. I've heard this story so many times.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, I agree.

[Bill Maher]

He became this guy. I didn't know where was this guy. He was hiding in the weeds the whole time. It's got to feel so awful that he. Oh, he never really. He just wanted to get me into this power position where he could like, dominate me like this. Right.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's sad that that's a universal experience. I don't want that to be people's reality. No, I mean, which is why I've been single for nine years. Like, I just. I can't even. I can't fucking bother with it. I can't. It's. I can't spend my time anymore ever again with a weed walker.

[Bill Maher]

What happened? What happened to the last one? I thought that was you married a civilian, which is very brave in Hollywood. Very, very brave. But like, you're such a big star, you know that. I think that makes sense because two stars is just too much starring.

[Drew Barrymore]

You know, I imagine you either want. You're okay with that, or there are people who like, do struggle with it. Cause it is like a lot, you know, whether it's two on two on two or one on one. But that's my kid's dad. He will always. I will only, like, just speak the best. And I love his wife. And I'm.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, he's remarried.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yep. And I. It's like my kids I'll talk about all day. I don't want to put them out there. I want to be very protective of them. Very sacred.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I think you are. I don't know anything about them.

[Drew Barrymore]

Thank you.

[Bill Maher]

I've never seen any of them.

[Drew Barrymore]

Thank you. I have been so purposeful with that and yet not tried to be a freak about it to anyone or them. It's like this is who I am and what I do. And we all accept that as a family. My kids know that they are first in every single way. And this is like a temple. My beautiful family that I never knew I would get to have this experience. It's so triggering and so healing and so incredible. And what I'm trying to. What is having kids, being a part of these two girls lives. I got to carry them. I love them more than I've ever known. What love could be. It's a different kind of love than anything I've ever experienced. Of course, there is no comparison. There's no math, right? From my experience, I know people who are like, I love my partner equal to my children. I'm like, you know, unfortunately, we split up. I didn't have that experience. So, like, I just know my experience with these two girls. And it is a love that is the coolest thing I've ever experienced in my human existence.

[Bill Maher]

I don't, as we know, have kids, but even I get that. Even I get that it's cool because, first of all, it's obvious. It's just different than it came out of you.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's so wild.

[Bill Maher]

It's not like meeting.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's fucking umbilical.

[Bill Maher]

It's not like meeting someone.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, you are tethered to that human being. When I'm holding them, I'm like, you're.

[Bill Maher]

Inside my body and they're kind of you 2.0. They're mini me. I mean, there's this, like, there's a love. You could, if you were a cynic, could say this semi selfish, because it's kind of like you're loving you.

[Drew Barrymore]

No one understands codependency better than I in the sense of, like, I started working on that when I was 30, 13 years old and institutionalized. My love for them is not codependent. It is inspired. They make me my best self. And right now, even at 11 and 13, I'm really dialed into a lot of things from my own experience. And that's where my fear is coming from. That I am not my mom, they are not me. And that I have to be in a constant practice of being age appropriate, but being really fucking real with them about the world and life and whether it has anything to do with my experience, but just all of it. Like, I'm so candid with them, and I'm so affectionate and so loving, and it's the best.

[Bill Maher]

What about the discipline side of it?

[Drew Barrymore]

I have found my voice, which was amazing.

[Bill Maher]

The other side of it is easy. It's easy to be loving and your friend. It's hard to be the bad guy. But that's what. That's what kids need and who would want.

[Drew Barrymore]

And when they're babies and toddlers, everyone's like, well, you know, boundaries and discipline. And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. Cause I didn't have those things. And I feel like I'm dealing with very irrational people. So.

[Bill Maher]

So you're saying there shouldn't be boundaries in discipline.

[Drew Barrymore]

No. Yes. Now they're the best, it turns out. Talk about fucking Technicolor and Wizard of Oz. Boundaries and discipline are awesome.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, okay, good.

[Drew Barrymore]

Love them.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, good.

[Drew Barrymore]

But even when my kids were born, I didn't have that accessible. I really had to do the work to like, learn it and figure it out. And when you have babies and Tod so wild.

[Bill Maher]

What are they like?

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, seriously.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, seriously. How would I know?

[Drew Barrymore]

It's.

[Bill Maher]

I've never even touched a baby.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's.

[Bill Maher]

I hate babies. Kids. Kids I can like, talk to for a little bit. They can be amusing if they're not, like, disgusting or, you know, too young. But babies, I. I just, you know, it's like some people don't like fur, they don't like dogs. You know, I don't like babies. But. But. And also, they're just really a mess of. I mean, for an anal retentive like me. The snot and the puke. The shit.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And that's just something that was born. I was born that way.

[Drew Barrymore]

I think a lot of males were.

[Bill Maher]

No, I think a lot of them are just lazy.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And they could make the woman do it because they were hiding in the weeds. Okay, but really with me, it's really about the shit and the snot and the like.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm telling you.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I carry a box of Kleenex. Come on. You can't even.

[Drew Barrymore]

By the way, guess what? You could totally have children. This is if you have James. You're so good.

[Bill Maher]

You know, But I don't want to.

[Drew Barrymore]

This is what would be in your baby bag. Just that you could bring the tissues. The tissues don't have to go, which is so nice.

[Bill Maher]

Can I share something with you?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. No, I'm kidding.

[Drew Barrymore]

And this is why I love you, though. Cause you talk about like you're sphincter fucking puckers before you say it. Cause you're like, oh, God, what the fuck is gonna come at me for making this joke? And you're one of my favorite. And why I need to like watch you on the reg is. Cause I need someone who says that. Because it is insane that we just take each other down and we're looking for it and we're waiting for it, and it's like a dog at a table waiting for that piece of food to fall. And then it's like all over the fucking linoleum floor because you said something.

[Bill Maher]

Go back to my sphincter. No, I.

[Drew Barrymore]

God, I'm gonna say I can't I. Fuck you. I can't take it.

[Bill Maher]

This little rage that you're vomiting, I swear to God, I must have done it like 10 times when we usually shoot over there. But same thing happened to me on that exact subject of judgy people, of the snitches and snitches and bitches who rule society. Snitches and bitches. People with nothing better to do than hit send. And they think they're some kind of warriors, social justice warriors. And you're just a bunch of fucking gossips. You don't give a shit about anything. And getting a scalp on the wall and. Right, And I share your disdain. You have.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I don't have everybody. If you're a part of that, I just feel like it's just robbing of yours and that other person's time.

[Bill Maher]

We don't like you.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's just too hard to live that way.

[Bill Maher]

Isn't that enough for you? We don't like you and we're cooler than you and we don't like you. Shape up.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, God.

[Bill Maher]

Snitches, snitches.

[Drew Barrymore]

And yeah, it. It, it did.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, but you know what?

[Drew Barrymore]

But when I'm saying that, I'm also talking for every human being on the planet. I never think I'm, you know, anything about myself when I say that. It's like the human experience. Why are we doing that to each other? That's what fucking just destroys me. But I want to come out of the ashes of that and just keep carrying on and trying to be nicer and happier and, like, trying to not allow that poison in.

[Bill Maher]

I think I can answer the question of why are we doing it? Part of it is because the technology changes changed, and usually society follows technology. I know people like to give themselves a lot of credit for ruling the world. They really don't. And technology changes and then they adapt. And once the smartphone came in and social media, people were able to indulge their worst qualities. Being sneaky, being fake, being bullies, being bitches, all the shit that we're talking about. They were able to indulge that in a way where they didn't face any repercussions for it. It was different if you had to say it to somebody's face. But now it can all be kind of done behind this. And so it brings out the worst in human nature that you can just anonymously put something on the Internet or just. What I fucking hate that they do is like, they know better about what I was saying, but they know that if they just put it in a click in a bit that people click for 20 seconds.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was just talking about that this morning.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, they can just. They can present and it's like, you saw the whole thing. You knew that. You know, this doesn't represent it, but you know, this will get your click.

[Drew Barrymore]

You're just a fucking dog waiting at the table for the food to fall. I've never pictured it that way in my life until this moment. But it's. It's. People are waiting for that fuel, that sustenance, that treat in their mouth to just go hog wild on people. And it's an unfortunate way to live. Who wants to fucking live in the. I'm waiting to get the gotcha state. Like, that is so such a bummer.

[Bill Maher]

People.

[Drew Barrymore]

Really terrible waste of time.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, they. They want to look. Especially with people who are prominent. They. They perceive them and they're right.

[Drew Barrymore]

But everyone. It's like, that's the thing, technology. I agree. It changes and dictates however it became. Also every single person's problem.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

You know.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. I mean, the kid who is.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's not reserved for anyone. This almost isn't super elitist to me in the sense of.

[Bill Maher]

No, no. The kid, the high.

[Drew Barrymore]

Everyone now has this burden on their shoulder of being available for rudeness and a punishing, abusive behavior. And I just think, think the only defense we have is to, like, turn away from that and not indulge.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, well, it could in your own personal journey. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna try for that.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, we're not doing it. What, are you kidding? We're good. We're the targets of it.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes, that's right.

[Bill Maher]

We are the targets. And we're just calling them out and saying, you know what? Why don't you do something more productive in your life? Like maybe play piano in a whorehouse, something like that.

[Drew Barrymore]

But back to your earlier point, I'm more worried about the way it really does hurt people. Like, that's where I'm working from.

[Bill Maher]

And it's not just celebrities. You think about the kidding.

[Drew Barrymore]

I've been dealing with this my whole life. I'm like, so far past it that I'm not even angry at anyone who does it. I've tried to ration with it and reason with it. I've learned that that's probably not good anymore in this day and age, but I worry about it for every human. I beg and hope that people can learn to protect themselves from anything that any.

[Bill Maher]

Did you see Adolescence.

[Drew Barrymore]

Of course I did.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. I mean, big hit on Netflix.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. I thought it would be a bigger tipping point, and it should be.

[Bill Maher]

Well. Well, if people don't know what it is about, I'll give you the. Just bottom line, why I thought it was great.

[Drew Barrymore]

Stephen Graham, who is it, stars in it and co producer.

[Bill Maher]

British, right? It's a British brilliant. It is. But the takeaway I had, which was I knew, but not to this visceral level, which is why art is so great. It puts it on a different level.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. It can teach.

[Bill Maher]

Was that. Okay. It's about a guy. Yes, a guy, a kid, you know, 13 or something. And he kills this girl. Spoiler alert. But who gives a shit? And what we really find out is that the reason why he had this animosity toward this girl was. It was all happening on the phone. And the adults who start to investigate don't even get it until it's explained to them by other kids why this incited this boy to this violence. It's like, you know, the adults had to be shown. You see this emoji? This is what this. This is kind of shaming him that they put this. And all the kids did it. And of course, they're all on this network that they talk on.

[Drew Barrymore]

There's a language in letters and emojis and words that the adults don't know.

[Bill Maher]

Right. And when it shamed this boy, that's. No, we're not justifying what he did, but that's the motivation. And that is something people really need to pay attention to, that idea that your kids are talking and hurting each other on this thing. And with this language you don't know. It's like they're doing it in Chinese and you don't speak Chinese.

[Drew Barrymore]

Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

Now your kids are 11 and 13. This has to be on your mind.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's everything I think about all the time. I've written. I've written pieces about it, and I don't really. Even though, weirdly, I guess someone could say, you're out there every day. I do not share a lot of my opinions because I grew up also in a time where I think people were came off so soapboxy for being behind causes or speaking out. And I definitely was like, I'm just never gonna do that.

[Bill Maher]

And I was like, it usually has the negative effect.

[Drew Barrymore]

I just was like, that's not my lane. I'm not gonna to succeed there. I. I can't. Oh, can I have some ice?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. All the celebs came out for Kamala Harris. And it just made Americans go, oh, shut the fuck up. You know what? It's. It does. It's not changing how my life is because Beyonce, or whoever it is, wants me to vote for Kamala Harris.

[Drew Barrymore]

I. I do not feel safe putting myself out there in the sense of. I just don't. I don't think that it will do anybody any good, and it won't be good for me, and it's just not good all around. So I'm just gonna stay on the sidelines over there about a lot of the things I can do.

[Bill Maher]

As usual, grasshopper, you are exactly right. Yeah. You're so sane, you know, you're so, like. Right. That's exactly right. It won't help. It might even hurt. And you don't need it, you know, you don't owe the world. There are people who get shamed, you know, for not being out there. Enough with your. They used to do it with a Michael Jordan. Why don't you speak out? It's like I'm a basketball player. I don't have to speak. It's just not my thing. I wouldn't be good at it. I just want to just live my life. Isn't that enough Sometimes? And it is.

[Drew Barrymore]

My therapist said this one thing one time. It was about a certain circumstance, and I'm going to apply it here. No good will come of that.

[Bill Maher]

This. You need a therapist to tell you that? Jesus.

[Drew Barrymore]

Apparently I do. But with.

[Bill Maher]

Is that part of the work? A therapist?

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, I mean, I don't even like to call the man I work with a therapist, cuz I think it's belittling, cuz it's not a good enough word. He's so smart and interesting and profound and dynamic and just incredible.

[Bill Maher]

Really.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's changed my life. Life so much.

[Bill Maher]

Really? Is that true?

[Drew Barrymore]

One of the safe people.

[Bill Maher]

So, like, you hired a great friend.

[Drew Barrymore]

I hired a great friend. And my friends.

[Bill Maher]

That's what I did.

[Drew Barrymore]

Allow me to get away with shit.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I'll do it for free.

[Drew Barrymore]

Cheers to that.

[Bill Maher]

But that's great that you have this. How long have you been with this strength?

[Drew Barrymore]

30. 14. 14. Oh, God. 14 years.

[Bill Maher]

And you're not cured?

[Drew Barrymore]

Almost 15.

[Bill Maher]

And you're not cured yet. See, this is my thing with psychiatry, and maybe I'm wrong.

[Drew Barrymore]

No one's ever fucking cured.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know.

[Drew Barrymore]

But you get better and you need things less. Or you might have times where you need things more. There's so much therapy, by the way. This is like people pleasing. That's Why? I don't like calling him a therapist. It's become a word that has so many connotations. There's so much baggage to it. It's not crisp anymore. It's like, you hear, yes, man, and indulgence and all this shit. It's like going, okay, but would you.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just telling you as someone who like, knows you now really well for an hour and like before that a little bit. I mean, look, I helped you burn your house down, all that, you know. That's right. You feel like you have a baby, you know, But I totally feel you. And I feel like you trust my opinion. And I'm telling you, you don't need a shrink now. Maybe you just like it, but I'm telling you, like, you know, there's a certain person who's like, oh, yes, you do need to talk to somebody.

[Drew Barrymore]

But what if you got ideas from someone that, oh, ideas are different. That's what he is. He's an ideas person on how to live a better life.

[Bill Maher]

That's why I hang out with Andy Dick.

[Drew Barrymore]

Now that is a way to a better life. Oh, my God. Andy Dick. That's not just a good reference since the 90s, but I bet it's true. You were probably with him last night.

[Bill Maher]

I was. Was. He came. Oh, I'm not going to even tell this story. It wasn't even this house. That's so long ago. But he was at a party of mine.

[Drew Barrymore]

Did you, I mean, I, I, I feel like I wouldn't get in the time machine no matter what. Like, I just wouldn't.

[Bill Maher]

I wouldn't either.

[Drew Barrymore]

I, I do miss a lot of how I grew up, though. I do miss our, our stuff. And I wonder if it will come back around. Typewriters, globes, pens, paper, snail mail, stamps, you know, not having cameras in our televisions. I don't want a fucking camera in my TV staring back at me. That is terrifying to me. Like, I want a movement where people demand less invasiveness in their life and turn to a more soulful approach than it just being all tech. I really, really want that for myself. And I'm glad I was brought up in a time that valued that. And maybe just cause as you said, if technology dictates society, that's just where we were. But that was such a sweet spot for me. Like, calling should be like the max.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I'm jealous of you because I feel the exact same way, but I feel like you being like an icon and a woman who, like, even young women are like, come on, that's the chick from Charlie's Angels or whatever they know you from. You can get away with that? More like putting that idea out there. I feel like I'm just the curmudgeonly asshole who, like, I'm off this month, for example, from Real Time.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And big things happened. We bombed Iran. And like, how bad.

[Drew Barrymore]

Do you want to go back into the studio and talk about it or are you able to go, okay, I'm on vacation.

[Bill Maher]

And while I'm on vacation, I'm not tweeting about it. I'm like. And I'm sure there are lots of people who are.

[Drew Barrymore]

What good will come of it?

[Bill Maher]

This is ridiculous. That Bill Maher, you know, purports to be this voice of reason in America and tells so many people, you know, and he's influential this. But he's going to be mute for a month. Yes, I am. You'll be fine.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, actually, that's. And people. It should. There. There should be a better balance of how this is all working. And there are people and companies that are really. Right now. It's so clear that it's AI that's the brass ring. And so as everybody goes to the mountaintop for that, I, as a human being would like to take a step back and figure out what of this is making me and what if this is really giving me a level of anxiety that is reducing my. Not quality of life, my time here on this earth. Because it's. Stress kills. Like, stress is so bad for you. It's a physical. Like, stress is not just an unpleasant state. It's instrumental.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, it's scientifically proven.

[Drew Barrymore]

100%.

[Bill Maher]

You can die of it, basically. I mean, it will give you cancer or something. It's is if it's bad enough. And of course, it's like anybody. There are people who smoked into their 90s and it didn't kill them.

[Drew Barrymore]

You have no idea how much I've romanticized Keith Richards my entire life. I'm like, he's fine. He's great. And he did everything he wanted to exactly the way he wanted to.

[Bill Maher]

Because genetics has a lot to do with.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't think. I don't know what.

[Bill Maher]

It's cheese. You know what it is. Also, I've never once seen him talk when he wasn't saying something that made him laugh his own words. He's just. He laughs like after every sentence. I remember once seeing the.

[Drew Barrymore]

Is that a liability or an asset?

[Bill Maher]

I remember once seeing the Rolling Stones do a benefit concert for the Environment. And he has, like, one number in the show where he comes forward and he's gonna sing it and he, like, he's smoking and it just was so sexy. And he's talking about, like, oh, the environment. You know, he wasn't. He was high in it.

[Drew Barrymore]

Of course. I got. I hope.

[Bill Maher]

So we're here for the environment, and we better do something. Cause, you know, even the Eskimos are feeling the pinch.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's what he said.

[Bill Maher]

That's what. And then. And then he laughed. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Between two factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN, you try to be in control of how your info is protected. But many other places also have it, and they might not be as careful. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for 40% off terms apply. And I was like, oh, this guy just laughs a lot. And that's why he's living to a million without. You know, he doesn't even smoke anymore, I don't think.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, no, no. I mean, good for him. Of course.

[Bill Maher]

That's right.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, and he's just maybe not wrapped up in some of the bullshit.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I just think he knows he's playing with the house money.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. I mean, that's why he's sort of. But he wasn't even one of my heroes.

[Bill Maher]

He's kind of thought of as like a longtime heroin addict. He wasn't a longtime heroin addict. He. At a certain period, but.

[Drew Barrymore]

And it's not the drugs I romanticize. It's just that he seems to literally have gotten away with more than most human beings.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yes.

[Drew Barrymore]

And so I marvel at his constitution.

[Bill Maher]

Completely charmed life.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And he'd be the first to admit it.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. And when he got. When he. He was in a coconut tree.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. A coconut fell on his head.

[Drew Barrymore]

I heard he was up in the tree. I don't know, but I just. Nice to know that's how he spends his time. And I didn't wanna.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not gonna say I 100% believe the coconut story. It may have been a coconut or, you know, given his history, maybe he, you know.

[Drew Barrymore]

Right, right. You know, I never thought of that. I never questioned the coconut.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I mean, he was. I mean, he and Ron Wood would like, force themselves to sort of, like, stay up sometimes for three or four days because. Because lack of Sleep is also a kind of drug at a certain point, which is a crazy thing to do.

[Drew Barrymore]

Ugh, no, that's, you know, just. No. And yet I'm sure that was exactly what I wanted to do at a certain point in my life. But now, no Again, I want to have a good time when the sun comes up and I want to get in bed when it goes down and turn it off.

[Bill Maher]

But I mean you lived a life before. I mean the first time I ever did Any drug was 19. I was in college. I didn't do any drugs in high school. Not. We didn't drink. I would. Loser fucking 60s kids. You by 19 were like, you had.

[Drew Barrymore]

Done every drug I had also like.

[Bill Maher]

That'S incredible to me because when I think about where my mind was at 12, I mean my, my issues, my concerns, you know, were so basic. Like to like add a fog of drug addledness to that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Which I was barely coping with.

[Drew Barrymore]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I remember the transition from we hate girls. Because that's how you are when you're being rejected. No, no, when you're just like, oh.

[Drew Barrymore]

Literally the cooties phase.

[Bill Maher]

Well, the cooties phase. But then you're latent until puberty. Now when I was a kid, maybe it happened. I think it happens earlier now. Like we were. When we were 10 year old, 11 year old boys, we again, cooties. Girls have cooties. And then some kids would be starting to break off and you're. Oh, you traitor. You like girls now.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So when do I. And then I start having these feelings. This is a. It sounds crazy and petty, but at that age that's a huge decision and a huge moment. The idea that I would then have to deal with that high is ridiculous. Ridiculous.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. I was out in clubs, so partying and dancing really go well together, you know, like that I was really. I loved going out to clubs. That was like my thing.

[Bill Maher]

And adults didn't stop this.

[Drew Barrymore]

No. Crazy. It doesn't make any sense to me.

[Bill Maher]

Now I understand it. I mean you were as far as.

[Drew Barrymore]

Like, now I'm an adult, I'm a parent now. It's like it's all unfathomable. But that's how adults allowed a kid to live their life.

[Bill Maher]

But you'd think it would have because it became public, you'd think it would have inspired some sort of law enforcement reaction to the people who were enabling not just one year below the age of 18, but like middle school, middle schoolers at Studio 54. It's amazing how different the eras are today. That would not. I mean, I don't think you could get away with that today.

[Drew Barrymore]

No. Everybody saw it as novel and cute back then, but now we live in this world that knows so much better, that it's so perfect. You can't fucking live up to it. Yeah, that's the problem I have. I don't want that for people. It's impossible. There is no such thing as knowing what to do every second of your life. Like. No, mine was an extreme case, of course.

[Bill Maher]

Very extreme.

[Drew Barrymore]

So extreme. So wild.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I feel like you're wild. Phased. There was, I mean, I mean, again, eras. When I do my eras tour.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, like you had the era of like, I mean, before you were born. Because your family is famous.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

As great actors, you know, and then child star. And then while I don't know who.

[Drew Barrymore]

They are as much now, but back when in the 70s, as a kid, it was a big deal. The Barrymores.

[Bill Maher]

The Barrymore name is legendary. And then like wild child fame.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Who are your celebrity friends? Like who, who's your, who's your squad? You got a squad? You must have a squad.

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, not really. I.

[Bill Maher]

No, Charlie's Angels girls, you know, that's.

[Drew Barrymore]

I, that's my squad.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, for real? Real.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, see, the fans love that. I love that. I love thinking that, like our celebrity idols, they really like each other and, you know, it wasn't all just fake.

[Drew Barrymore]

We've seen each other through everything. Birth, life, death, death, marriage, divorce. I mean, everything. No, those girls, in fact, when they asked me like about the first guest on a talk show, you know, which is like ritualistically, like a marcation of like, who you are, what you can do, what the things, you know, so.

[Bill Maher]

Much pressure on that person.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm like, and usually it's a stranger. It's just a status thing. It's so weird. And I was so tripped out by it and I'm so not a star fucker that I was like, you guys, I know this is a thing. Obviously I'm intelligent in that sense of like, I know how this game is played. I was Carson Carson at seven, of course I fucking get it. But I would not capitulate. And I was like, you guys, we're in a pandemic. Let that be the benefit of buying me a little time. We're in unorthodox times. So in a weird way, let me be true to myself and let me figure this out without bullshit pressure of. As they say in Pretty Woman, the Pressure of a name, you know, and.

[Bill Maher]

So why don't you ever have me on?

[Drew Barrymore]

Would you? Come on.

[Bill Maher]

Have you never asked me?

[Drew Barrymore]

I would love it. Not.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, of course you're saying that now you're on the spot. You have to say it.

[Drew Barrymore]

That the second. The first conversation I could have with you, I showed up for this one.

[Bill Maher]

I know.

[Drew Barrymore]

And we should have. Shame on both of us, actually.

[Bill Maher]

Well, what, am I going to invite myself?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

By the way, who does that? That's Ghost.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't know how to network. I'm not good at it. I'm not a. Like a.

[Bill Maher]

Like, we don't have publicists. Have you. You're like, am I mad at you? Come on. If you wanted me on your show, you could have just reached out. I would have done it.

[Drew Barrymore]

Okay. I would love nothing more. I'm not great at playing the. I try to. And it feels so uncomfortable to me to ask people. I don't ever want to burn.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I'm never in New York, so don't worry about it.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, you should come to New York.

[Bill Maher]

But next time I'm in New York.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'll show you New York. It's really fun.

[Bill Maher]

I'd be.

[Drew Barrymore]

Look, it's great.

[Bill Maher]

I'm friendly with some of the ladies on the View, and I love them, but, like, I would do, like, that shows a lot, and I would. I think I'd love.

[Drew Barrymore]

Joy came on our show, and she literally had the best time. She's like, what the fuck is going on here? No one comes to stop us. Like, no. I'm like, yeah, it's a playground. Like, it's so chill and fun. I didn't want to do anything tropey or over time. I wanted to find something different there.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I know. I love Whoopi and Jo, though. They're the two. I really know. And I did it, like, a year ago, and I liked everybody, but, like, I don't know if they're really, at this moment, the best advertisement for women. I just. They just.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's just. It's a format.

[Bill Maher]

They say some things that are just, like, not helpful, like, say, to elections. I mean, it's just, you know, what.

[Drew Barrymore]

Is it like being. Because I know so much about the news, politics, and I'm very obsessed with it.

[Bill Maher]

You have a new mayor that's very exciting in New York.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, he's not. He's going to be able to be on the ballot. It's not dark, it's not done. And it's really caused quite a Stir.

[Bill Maher]

Well, sure. He's a communist. I mean, that's what it is. It's okay.

[Drew Barrymore]

But, like, I don't dare talk about politics. And it's the thing. I'm probably up on one of the most subjects in my life. What is it like? And thank God you do it. And you need to do it because you found a way of avoiding the. No good could come of the which. A lot of people are stuck in that box, unfortunately, when they try to talk about.

[Bill Maher]

Thank you.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes. Because you see all angles. You are true. This is the thing I wrote to you that I love you and I can't help but be ourselves.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Drew Barrymore]

For better or worse, there is some fucked up thing that you and I have where we cannot not be ourselves.

[Bill Maher]

I think it's an awesome thing. I see the cake is half full.

[Drew Barrymore]

I ams what I ams. I will never forget. Bill. I got this focus group for the talk show that was one of the most demoralizing things I've ever read about all the things these people hated about me. And I literally just sat there and I was like, well, you know, shit. I don't know what to say other than I don't know how to not be myself. I can make a better show because I'm a producer, but I can't. One should not get themselves in an identity crisis for others. Those others may never appear and they may disappear.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know what this focus thing is, but you're. I mean, it's universally acknowledged you're a beloved person. Like, I'm beloved by my fans for a good reason. I'm awesome at what I do and they love it. But, like, I'm not beloved by the country as a whole. If I threw out the first pitch at a game, there'd be a lot of booze in the stadium.

[Drew Barrymore]

But do you think.

[Bill Maher]

But you are universally beloved, so I don't know why you're obsessing about this. Like, they.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't.

[Bill Maher]

Do you think that maybe nobody. I can't think of anybody, like, more popular than you. Everybody, really. Yes. You have that. Because I think people.

[Drew Barrymore]

I know nothing about me.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. Like, I mean, I feel like you have a. Your image, and I must say, I share in it to a degree. Is sort of like a candle in the wind, you know? Remember the song?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. I still don't really understand what it means.

[Bill Maher]

Well, like, it's.

[Drew Barrymore]

The candle's so bright, the wind can't blow it out.

[Bill Maher]

So vulnerable. The wind can.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh.

[Bill Maher]

That'S what his song The Marilyn Monroe song.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's what it meant this whole time, of course. Oh, I never thought that.

[Bill Maher]

The Elton John song.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes. That was then attributed to Princess Diana.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. He rewrote it for yes. And singing at her song. And then Keith Richards, our hero back to Keith, made fun of Elton John and he said he only writes song about dead blondes.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's what he said?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, he clearly has no clue anything I said and then went.

[Bill Maher]

And that's why he's alive. Cause he looked funny.

[Drew Barrymore]

Cause he's gone so far past caring. He is the epitome of no fucks given.

[Bill Maher]

He only writes songs about dead blondes. Because I don't know why he was getting into a feud with Elton. Although Elton does get in into a lot of feuds.

[Drew Barrymore]

It seems there's nothing more lose lose than a public feud.

[Bill Maher]

But what we were just talking about, it was so important to me.

[Drew Barrymore]

We were saying about how that I'm vulnerable.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yes, you're a candle in the wind.

[Drew Barrymore]

Which I now understand what that is.

[Bill Maher]

And that's how I feel like. And now I talk to you, I see you're much stronger than that. Like, I don't think about you that way at all anymore.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was focused on the candle that woke up.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like, oh, poor Drew, you know, she always gets, you know, she's like the.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, no, fuck that, right?

[Bill Maher]

Like, you know, like the marriage didn't work and like, you know, they screwed her over as a child.

[Drew Barrymore]

Shit happens.

[Bill Maher]

I know, but this is like a, you know, like your childhood is not just shit happens.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I know it's traumatizing. And believe me, raising two young girls, if you don't think that this gets brought up all the time now I do meet Mary once a week.

[Bill Maher]

I do not see you anymore as a candle in the wind.

[Drew Barrymore]

No.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like you're a flashlight that won't go out. You know, you're not.

[Drew Barrymore]

I guess I couldn't even fathom, but.

[Bill Maher]

I feel like America sees you that way. Like they, like, oh, you know, they just. They want you to be happy. You're a child star we grew up with and you know they want you to be happy and they, you know, they're rooting for you know what I really want?

[Drew Barrymore]

I want their happiness too. I'm not kidding.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, they get that about you. One reason they like you.

[Drew Barrymore]

I want people to be happy. They deserve it. People really deserve.

[Bill Maher]

Well, some don't.

[Drew Barrymore]

You're right. There are a few. I don't understand why they could ever Be so mean and cruel. I'll never understand it.

[Bill Maher]

There's some bad people in the world.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's where I'm vulnerable, is the awe and shock. But, no, I'm so glad that you know this about me. And I have to admit, things have really also crystallized for me in different ways in the last year, especially.

[Bill Maher]

Really last year.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. Yeah. I made a lot of big leaps in the last year.

[Bill Maher]

49. Now, I don't believe in numerology, but I did when I was younger, but I was all very into seven, so, like, I was very aware of everything when I was 49. Maybe there's something to it.

[Drew Barrymore]

But what is the Sevens theory?

[Bill Maher]

I don't know, but it's the sacred number three throughout every culture. So 7 times 749 is like a super. Like, I remember I had a big dinner that year, not at 50, but 49. I was like, that was the year.

[Drew Barrymore]

But I think that might have been my year, too. I don't think I would have. I didn't just hit 40. Things got better.

[Bill Maher]

But what are these big changes? What are these big epiphanies from this year that you just said you had?

[Drew Barrymore]

Thank you for asking.

[Bill Maher]

You just said, oh, yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

But you're. Thank you for the, you know, pontification, clarification. I feel like I feel very devoid of a fear that I've carried so closely with me my whole life.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, what?

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, it bled into everything.

[Bill Maher]

What fear?

[Drew Barrymore]

Hard to. Hard to give it a name, but I guess the feeling is maybe even harder to describe. It's the fear of getting in trouble.

[Bill Maher]

With who? For what? Like, social media trouble, what we were talking about.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's much like if I was to go in micro. I don't know if I can even name a person, place, or thing that holds that power anymore. Throughout my life, I could have identified who I. Or who or what I was afraid of getting in trouble. But it is a feeling that I've had in me most of my life, probably as long as I can remember being on this planet.

[Bill Maher]

But don't you have to, like.

[Drew Barrymore]

And it's gone.

[Bill Maher]

But don't you have to ask yourself what kind of trouble? You know, like, what am I really afraid of? What is this trouble? Because I don't know what you're talking about. Like, what trouble? And what would be the repercussions from getting into this type of trouble?

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, you know, in some ways, I could think, okay, when you get institutionalized when you're 13 years old, that's a big form of being in trouble.

[Bill Maher]

That is taking detention to another level. Yes.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I wasn't in a nice place. I was in a really rough place for almost two years and then got emancipated when I was 14. Conventionally.

[Bill Maher]

So you were in the nuts.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes, very much so.

[Bill Maher]

And who were your. Who were the nuts around you? Were they truly nuts?

[Drew Barrymore]

The adults were. Because there was an adult ward. So it, you know, you can picture.

[Bill Maher]

We were with them.

[Drew Barrymore]

We were integrated with them. Yeah, absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

There were other people your age and then there were.

[Drew Barrymore]

There was a youth program also. And we all were living amongst each other.

[Bill Maher]

They mix the youth with the adults.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it was a small place. So you in the hallway with everybody and in the great room, did you.

[Bill Maher]

Have your own room? No.

[Drew Barrymore]

Nope. I had three beds to a room with adjoining bathroom. So really six girls, Were they all.

[Bill Maher]

Your age or were they adults too?

[Drew Barrymore]

All my age. In the sleeping quarters. All my age.

[Bill Maher]

Six girls?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Six prepubescent girls.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. Who all had the same shit I did, which is just, you know, just. Yeah. I felt like everything was relative in there.

[Bill Maher]

People, but they weren't really had the same thing. There weren't five other stars.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's where I learned they did. We were all in the same boat. We were all young, we had trauma and torture in our families. We were already like using to avoid the feelings of life. And we had all questioned whether we wanted to be on the. Those are the things we had in common. And somehow we fucked up so bad we ended up in here. And all of that other shit didn't play into it.

[Bill Maher]

But the other five. That those feelings didn't come from something in show business, Right. Or did they?

[Drew Barrymore]

No, no, they weren't.

[Bill Maher]

So you were the only show business one? Yeah, but. Okay, but it's kind of the same.

[Drew Barrymore]

And around those parts it was cool. It was like everybody's got fucking problems. And it wasn't like rude or angry, it was just a fact. So it was very.

[Bill Maher]

But you didn't feel like you really needed to be in the nuthouse, right? I mean, they put you there.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You would rather have dealt with it on the outside.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I didn't. I was so grateful. Like in a weird way, like I.

[Bill Maher]

Say, you liked being there. You were glad they put you there.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, for the first six months, I threw riots every day. I was like a Wendy O. Williams movie. Because of course that's who I'm picturing, you know, fucking perform.

[Bill Maher]

She's not nuts at all. That's a scam. My boy. Harvey Levin proved that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, really?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't really know her beyond her movies.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I can, but that was Wendy Williams.

[Drew Barrymore]

Wendy O. Williams? Oh, sorry. I'm going. Reform school, girls. I'm going all.

[Bill Maher]

I thought you meant Wendy Williams.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, no, no, no, no. Wendy O. Williams. The blonde who was, like, all about mayhem and, like, fuck you, and, like, looked amazing doing it and was, like, wild.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

And vaguely I'm remembering this now. Yeah. You know who Wendy EL Wilson is? It's like Corman movie days, you know? And, like, that's what I was picturing. I was, like, channeling her every day in there. I was like, fuck this place. I hate it. Get me the fuck out of here.

[Bill Maher]

So there's no truth to the rumor that you institutionalized the other Wendy Williams so that you could beat her in the ratings?

[Drew Barrymore]

That wasn't really.

[Bill Maher]

Just kidding.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm so gullible. I was like, Wait, what? What?

[Bill Maher]

I said it so earnestly. The Importance of Being Earnest.

[Drew Barrymore]

The Importance of Being Earnest.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. That's a question. Because, as you can see, I'm a really great talk show host who prepares great questions. No, but, like, do you like all your. I mean, you've done a million movies, a lot of hits, but they're pretty light. You know, Romantic comedies.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. I didn't want to do dark shit.

[Bill Maher]

What about now? Like, do you think there's, like. Like, I feel like you could, like, do a really heavy role now, and it would blow people's minds.

[Drew Barrymore]

Okay. You know what else comes without the fear? The feeling of having to prove something to myself. And if I end up going back there, I'll be so thrilled because I do love getting to do films. I really do. But I did this film called Gray Gardens, and what I put myself through to prove to myself that I could be a serious actress or do drama. I don't know. The next time I'll be running to do that, it'll probably be when my kids are out of the. And I don't even know. And I don't even know anymore. I don't even know what the fuck I should do. And I'm so relieved. And that doesn't scare me. And I feel no fear. I feel like I just want to put one foot in front of the other. And I've never felt this way. So this is what's happened in the last year where I'm, like. I feel so unhingedly liberated from the fear of feeling like I've got to prove something to myself or that I'll get in trouble. These two things that have really been by my side or inside of me my whole life. I've never known life without those things. And my first taste and bite of the apple is. It's the most delicious thing I've ever known.

[Bill Maher]

50'S Craig. It is.

[Drew Barrymore]

And 49 was where the work happened. And all leading up to that. That. But.

[Bill Maher]

Well, again, I don't want to do the work, but I get it. But I definitely don't want to go.

[Drew Barrymore]

To what can we say it? Because it's annoying.

[Bill Maher]

What is?

[Drew Barrymore]

The work. It is.

[Bill Maher]

It's not annoying. It's just comedically rich. I feel that that's a good term.

[Drew Barrymore]

Comedically rich is the nicest way of saying. I think that should be our code word from now on. When someone is just something or someone is so fucking asinine. And it just is like, come on, may it be comedically rich?

[Bill Maher]

Well, you did the work on that one. You stuck your foot in Bench Oaks.

[Drew Barrymore]

I think we built up to it and it just is the payoff of a lifetime. Comedic way rich.

[Bill Maher]

You're talking to somebody who never really understood psychiatry or, like, really put a lot into it. And I know it has helped a lot of people, but the idea that I could talk to somebody, like, to try to figure me out and that he would know more about this subject than I do. Only one person lived my life. Like, however much I was talking to this guy, he just does not have privilege to so much information that is in my head. So I just feel like it's ridiculous to talk to this guy. Talk to this guy. He knows where all the bodies are buried. He knows the truth. He knows the truth about everything that happened. Because don't tell me people don't lie to their psychiatrist. Or maybe they don't even know they're lying.

[Drew Barrymore]

Did you have a time in your life where, like, you didn't think you were the person who had the answers?

[Bill Maher]

Of course. Very. I mean, like, up until, you know, I wasn't successful really, as we would define it in my end of the business until late 30s. I finally got my own TV show, but it was on a small network. It did get a lot of press. And yeah, I felt like, okay, this is my. As Bernie Brillstein once said to me, my old manager, I'm sure you know him by, you're walking into stardom at just the right time. Walking into stardom. I loved it because I was like 36 or something when I got that show. But, like, you know, like, many of us started out kind of, like, real strong, and then there's a period. I mean, did a lot of sitcoms, and, you know, you're on your way, and then there's a dip, and I. You know, there was a.

[Drew Barrymore]

You can't stay up all the time. You've got to come down.

[Bill Maher]

That's what she's said. Good night, everybody.

[Drew Barrymore]

Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

Remember, the June Taylor Dancers will be here next week with Pete Barbouti and.

[Drew Barrymore]

Glenn Miller's tribute band.

[Bill Maher]

You said you did Carson at 7. That's amazing. I did Carson at 26. You know, that's quite a. And I was already 20 years older, so that's like a. A big gap in our experience there.

[Drew Barrymore]

And, yes. That we probably aligned right up.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, I was certainly aware of you, like, when I. Before I was even in show business, I think. I mean, E.T. was 1982.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yep.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. That was my, like, second year in comedy. Like, hanging out at the clubs.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Emceeing.

[Drew Barrymore]

My mom worked at the Comedy Store.

[Bill Maher]

Oh. I was in New York, but okay.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, you were?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I started. I grew up out there.

[Drew Barrymore]

Where were you born?

[Bill Maher]

I was born in New York. Grew up in New Jersey.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, shit, you need to come back home.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I love New York for a fall weekend, a spring weekend. I think winter and summer are shit. I don't like living in a building. I don't get that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. If you're living here, you're not gonna make it in Manhattan. You're gonna die on the vineless vine.

[Bill Maher]

So you did build the tiki bar up top here. Here. You did. That's what I heard. Of course, it only came through the grapevine, but. So you did. It's gorgeous. It's amazing.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's like a. I'm so glad it's still standing.

[Bill Maher]

It's still standing. I've kept it just the way it was with the thatch roof and everything.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, you got to clean the rats out of it, but, you know, there's lots of.

[Drew Barrymore]

You had to probably haul out a lot of sand because I had a whole sand mountain, like, leading up to the tiki bar.

[Bill Maher]

A sand mountain?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, sand mountain. Well, I just put sand everywhere to, you know, make it go extra tiki.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I didn't remember that.

[Drew Barrymore]

We used to do, like, quarters, like, games. Like, we turned the tennis court into a beer garden.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, it looks like one of those.

[Drew Barrymore]

Is the screening room still here?

[Bill Maher]

Yes, absolutely.

[Drew Barrymore]

With the old projector.

[Bill Maher]

No. Oh, that was expensive. I didn't want that.

[Drew Barrymore]

Someone has to come in and man, it. It's a whole thing. And also, it's not like anyone's working on celluloid anymore.

[Bill Maher]

No. I mean.

[Drew Barrymore]

But.

[Bill Maher]

Right. I tried to watch something in there.

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, I. I did used to screen a lot of movies.

[Bill Maher]

Sure. Why wouldn't you?

[Drew Barrymore]

Felt like a big treat.

[Bill Maher]

Beautiful screening room. Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was living that Hollywood dream.

[Bill Maher]

It's just not.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was. It was so cool.

[Bill Maher]

I know I should be. I. I used it, like, three times in my life.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

I know. It's so sweet.

[Drew Barrymore]

I love that screening room.

[Bill Maher]

But you know what you can't even get. I wanted to watch this awesome movie. I don't know if you saw it. The. The Apprentice, the one where it's about Trump.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I want to see it.

[Bill Maher]

It's great. Yeah, it's awesome.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And he got nominated, as he should. Amazing performance. And I wanted to watch it in there. And I was like, you know, because the last time I saw something, there was a disc.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It was like. And then they were making fun of me, you know, Bill, there's no more discs. Okay? We don't. So, okay, I accept. No more discs. I get it. I'm the dinosaur. But then they could not get the fucking movie to work because you have to.

[Drew Barrymore]

Am I do anything?

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's. I am the biggest luddite. I'm so confused.

[Bill Maher]

When you splurge, what do you splurge on? Like, I'm not a splurge. What?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. No, that's a great question.

[Bill Maher]

It is?

[Drew Barrymore]

I think so.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, great. Look, I did it once. I stumbled on a great question. I'm telling you.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, we're all.

[Bill Maher]

I'm really putting in the work on this.

[Drew Barrymore]

You know, I love a Q and A. Sure. But isn't the. I always was trying to find the point of having a conversation. Like, I don't know if I'm a Q and A person. And my personal experience also a lot with journalists was very Q and A. And, like, they weren't always listening to what I said because they were thinking about their next question. And they also.

[Bill Maher]

People do it on the air. You can see them doing it.

[Drew Barrymore]

We're trying to fit the agenda in. So having had that experience, at times, not everybody, but at times I was like, I want to do the exact opposite of that feeling. I want to be a pilot who gets someone in the cockpit and we go flying becomes the little prince. We go to different planets, and then we come in for a Landing, like, I've got you. I don't know where we're going, but I will get you home, I promise you.

[Bill Maher]

That's so great.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I don't know what the box of tissues are going to be for this bit take. Or the tears. So, having the questions, I don't know. Well, but if I was to go and do something really fun, it would definitely travel. Travel is where I like to blow it out.

[Bill Maher]

My question.

[Drew Barrymore]

I love travel. I love seeing the world. I love going places with my friends, my kids. I live to travel the world. Like, my first job I ever really wanted was to be a travel writer.

[Bill Maher]

My splurge was always private jets. Like. And I know there are people. Oh, how dare you. The pollution. Like, okay, well, you know what? When they outlaw planes, then I'll join the crowd. But, like, there's a zillion flights a day. I don't think I made the situation that much worse. But. And also, don't be fucking hypocrites. There's two kinds of people in the world. The kind of people who fly privately and the private kind of people who would if they could fly privately. I have been both. There is no third category of people who could fly privately, privately and don't. Except for Ed Begley and that little Swedish Ed.

[Drew Barrymore]

A. Tunberg.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. Okay, those are the only two. But I don't want to take a sailboat to Europe. I don't. I'm sorry. And I'm sure that makes me a bad person, but, yeah, that was. That's my splurge. I don't have a lot of. I'm not a car guy. No expensive art, no jewelry, you know, no divorces, no alimony, no children. You know, like, I don't have a lot of expenses. That was always like. And of course, most of the time I took the plane. I was going to a gig, and I was still making money. I was just making less. But there was also, once you get used to it, even when you're not doing a gig, you're like, okay, it's amazing.

[Drew Barrymore]

It sets the whole world up for, like, something different. But I think also you probably make a deal with yourself of, like, how you want to get back and forth from work and what is worth it to you, right? And this is the first time in my life where I. It's like, that is the fear I'm talking about. Like, the fear of even having the conversation is gone. And I was the person who was like, you know. Cause I travel in every different way. I take the Fucking RV with my laundry basket. And I've flown a private jet and I take commercial. Commercial. And I RV. Yeah. I love RVs.

[Bill Maher]

You have one?

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't own one. I get them from Cruise America.

[Bill Maher]

Like a sprinter?

[Drew Barrymore]

Like a Tioga Class C. You have a regular driver's license? There's two beds.

[Bill Maher]

And where do you take this?

[Drew Barrymore]

Last one I took was New York to Florida. My friend had broken her.

[Bill Maher]

You drove from New York to Florida in RV with your kids?

[Drew Barrymore]

No, just my girlfriend or my friend.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, girlfriend.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Were there adventures?

[Drew Barrymore]

Totally. It was so fun.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Drew Barrymore]

Like nothing like party. Those were more like in the olden days.

[Bill Maher]

You're at the Motel 6?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Drew Barrymore]

I picked someone up.

[Bill Maher]

You're trying to convince the manager to keep the pool open past midnight. It's a stupid rule.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, that.

[Bill Maher]

Jackson could convince you to keep the pool open. Wait, I'm channeling my comic days when I was doing exactly that. But it is fun to be in a motel when you're on the road. It can be.

[Drew Barrymore]

Did you have fun in the motel on the road?

[Bill Maher]

I feel like it just loosens people up, the atmosphere. There's two places, the Playboy Mansion and the motel section.

[Drew Barrymore]

I used to go to the Playboy Mansion all the time.

[Bill Maher]

Of course. You were 12.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I wasn't. When I went there, I was older, 13.

[Bill Maher]

When did you go to the play? Because I didn't see you there when.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was there, like in my 20s.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, you were probably over it when I was just into it.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I was, like, hanging out on, like, the lawn with Cameron Diaz. And we were just walking around hanging out. And I never, like, picked people up. I never got into that shit. But I loved being there and having going to a party there.

[Bill Maher]

It was a fun sort of.

[Drew Barrymore]

It was fun.

[Bill Maher]

Iconic. Ever since Campy. I mean, you couldn't take as long as you didn't take it too seriously.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I tried. Trust that where I am is the bliss.

[Bill Maher]

Better? So much better.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't really go out a lot, and I want to be the kind of person who throws like a bunch of dinner parties, but I still haven't. Like, I used to be that person. I used to be like Mrs. Game Night. Big game nighter. Like any.

[Bill Maher]

And you know what? I put in a dining room table because I used to have dinners with Sue Mengers. She had these awesome dinner parties, right?

[Drew Barrymore]

People who throw them. I admire them so much on a round table.

[Bill Maher]

And she could command because of who she was, whoever she was. And they would come, right? So I put in a round table just like hers, because a round table, everyone can see each other, talk to.

[Drew Barrymore]

Each other, be too wide. See, I am an industrial designer, and I actually make furniture, and I have a very big passion. This is what occupies my fucking brain about the circular circumference of a round table, because you can quickly alienate everyone around you with too much circle.

[Bill Maher]

Well, this is for, like. Like, eight or nine or ten. Eight at most ten. But I think eight.

[Drew Barrymore]

Can the people across from each other talk?

[Bill Maher]

Of course. That's the. That's the genius of a round table, is that no one.

[Drew Barrymore]

No one is able make it too big. And then literally, it's like the right side.

[Bill Maher]

I don't think eight is too big. I think eight is.

[Drew Barrymore]

Eight is good.

[Bill Maher]

Eight is good.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah. I really. I do want to measure your table.

[Bill Maher]

We should have a. When you're out here, so we should have used. You have to invite the people because you have the cachet to do that. I do not.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't know if I do.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, you totally do.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't see myself that way.

[Bill Maher]

Well, if you and I throw a dinner party, I promise you a lot of great people will come.

[Drew Barrymore]

You know what? That would be really fun. And I'm in an era where I really want to do that. Like, I used to be so good at being like, come on, everybody, let's go. But it was in the 90s more and like, in the 80s where it was kind of door open. And actually, that's a lie.

[Bill Maher]

You're Hollywood royal. I'm like, wow, that guy, he's smart. I don't know if I want to even be in the room with him because he's. Maybe he's going to be mean.

[Drew Barrymore]

You come out on your show and there is like, you are an oak. You cannot fuck with. You cannot. And then it turns out, like, you're much more human in that way of like. And I have known you over the years, but I would not have known the things about you that I've ascertained from this conversation. Just like you to me. And I don't think those people ever that were being out there are not us. I know they are us, but it is not the full picture. You can't help that. No, no.

[Bill Maher]

That's one reason I wanted to do this.

[Drew Barrymore]

I know. Me too.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I mean, like a podcast, you know, and with you. But, like, this is, like, something that is different. It is different, and yet I am the same guy. It always amuses me that people feel like there's this big demarcation. And I certainly get the difference between real time and this. It is a lot. But I feel like my fans, they don't see that big a difference. They're like, like, like, you know, he's this and that and he's like, I've heard, I've had reviews. Unlikable. I'm like, really? I've been on TV for 32 years. Can you really do that and be unlikable? I mean, I get it, you don't like me. But like, it feels like you have to have something more than just the information you're giving. People have to kind of. And I feel like my real fans, they're like, they don't see that big a difference. They see me in real time and know I've got a suit and a tie on and we're talking to a senator. But it's like it's really the same guy. Because I just, as we were saying, I just don't know how to or have any interest in being other than who I am. Not in a relationship. So don't try to change me. Not on a TV show, not here. Just let me be who I am, good and bad. I, I know this in ways I'm a preposterous character, but I own it.

[Drew Barrymore]

I think I am too. I know. I, I, I, I, I barely.

[Bill Maher]

You're so sane. I keep saying it, but really, you're so level headed, like one of the most level headed people. People.

[Drew Barrymore]

I, I, coming from you, I love that. I'm really thrilled to hear that.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I mean, we're just, we're just, you know, people who are trying to make it with what we're given. You know, that's kind of the secret, I feel is like use figure out what you're good at, what you, you were organically given that makes you special. And then develop that. Because if you try to develop something that you're not organically great at, you'll fail. Like, I would love to have been a musician.

[Drew Barrymore]

I never attempted it because I'm terrible at it.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, of course, me too. And so like don't like try to turn a, you know, silk souzier into a silk purse. It's not going to happen. But you know, that's the kind of thing, if I had kids, that's the kind of thing I would be telling them. Like, figure out what you're good at. Don't be the 23 year old who's out of college and you don't know what you're good at. You're like, I hear that so much.

[Drew Barrymore]

When did you know you were good at comedy?

[Bill Maher]

Like seven. Like, very young. Like, I wanted to be a comedian before I was 10. That's who I liked on TV, you know?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

And that's who. My father was funny. My mother was witty. It was just in our house, I saw, I'm sure I saw my father looking popular among his friends if he got a laugh.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I think that's what puts the chip in your brain. And then, I mean, you have to be born or somehow get timing when you're young. Comedy's all timing.

[Drew Barrymore]

Wit.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, it is.

[Drew Barrymore]

Wit is everything. It just is. It's like a cylinder. That's my favorite.

[Bill Maher]

Not to everybody. A lot of people don't give a shit about wit.

[Drew Barrymore]

I think it's synonymous with being funny.

[Bill Maher]

Smart people need wit in their life.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, other people do not.

[Drew Barrymore]

Do your friends make you laugh?

[Bill Maher]

Well, they wouldn't be my friends if they didn't.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, me too. My friends are so fucking funny, it hurts myself. I find myself in that laughter that I just is my favorite feeling other than the love of my kids. It's like those moments with my friends when I feel so safe. I know I'm with people I totally trust. And we are laughing our balls off.

[Bill Maher]

I remember I had this very same.

[Drew Barrymore]

People I can talk to the heaviest shit about, you know, and this very.

[Bill Maher]

The longest relationship I really ever had.

[Drew Barrymore]

Like, in my, in mine too.

[Bill Maher]

Like the late 80s, early 90s, when I was in my mid-30s.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, with a woman?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Like, it's like a, you know, real serious thing. Like, I, I, if I was going to get married, that's.

[Drew Barrymore]

Was it about her or where you thought you should be in life?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, it was totally her. She was.

[Drew Barrymore]

Where is she now?

[Bill Maher]

She's with some, she's Colorado, I think, maybe Arizona. I mean, there's been those two states involved. She's with somebody. She's very happy. Happy. We're still the best of friends. But, you know, I was, you know, not certainly ready to settle down, even though she was perfect. And one reason, one reason she was perfect, if I can get to this point, is like, she said to me, unlike other girls, I remember I just had gotten out of a relationship with a girl had the opposite point of view and who had made me, like, go out with her friends who were boring. And this girl said to me at one point, point, no, let's just go out with your friends. They're comedians. They're so Much funnier and better to hang around than my friends. Are you kidding? And, you know, because I think we had just had dinner with Richard Lewis. It's like, yeah, wouldn't you rather have dinner with Richard Lewis than a insurance salesman? And I was like, this girl is a keeper because she's not wrong. And we're going to have a better time and we're going to hang out with my comedian friends.

[Drew Barrymore]

My dream person professionally was Adam Sandler back in the day.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

I was like, this guy has it all.

[Bill Maher]

It's been a very special relationship. Like, I feel like the public feels that way, too.

[Drew Barrymore]

I. I love him so much and I love his wife so much and his family. And we were single people who didn't have kids, who were really young when we first started, like, working together.

[Bill Maher]

So why didn't you end up with him?

[Drew Barrymore]

I. We just always had a really platonic relationship. It just never was that.

[Bill Maher]

Didn't have that gene. It just that thing that pull.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I'm so glad, by the way. Like, who knows what would have fucking happened Everything up. Probably the second people do that, it's all fucking sensitive city, you know, why, why, why can I have 40 years with my friends that take so much work? It really does. Friends take work. If you're not working at the friendships, that's interesting. I would pay attention to that. Friendships take a lot of work. You grow, you change. You have to keep it up. You have to be open to what they're being honest with you about. You have to tell them your truths. It's a lot of work. Yeah, but they stay and I don't.

[Bill Maher]

And the other thing is primal. You either want to fuck somebody or you don't. It's just. You just can't.

[Drew Barrymore]

But what about the slow burn? What about, like, someone being so dynamic and brilliant that before you know it, you're like, oh, I wouldn't have thought so initially.

[Bill Maher]

But shit that happens with.

[Drew Barrymore]

You're amazing.

[Bill Maher]

There's a type of people that happens to. They're called women.

[Drew Barrymore]

But that's why I can't date on dating apps, because it's like, from a picture and your first fucking name and your duplicitous title. I know you're not a fucking astronaut.

[Bill Maher]

First of all, please don't ever go on a date. Why would you go on a dating site?

[Drew Barrymore]

I tried it.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I read about that.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's fun to talk about. It's fun to be in the world and attempt things and relate to people and be in a current climate. Of how people behave. It's not for me.

[Bill Maher]

May I quote Lou Grant in a Mary Tyler Moore episode?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

The treasure doesn't do the hunting. Oh.

[Drew Barrymore]

So that's. What? Candle in the Wind. Just kidding.

[Bill Maher]

Really. You're too good for the. You shouldn't, first of all.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, thank you.

[Bill Maher]

It's a bullshit thing. It's a bullshit thing. And also, you're just like, you're not of. I mean, you're. For better or worse, you're a giant celebrity, you know, But I'm just a.

[Drew Barrymore]

Girl standing in front of a boy.

[Bill Maher]

I just watched that one again.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's the best.

[Bill Maher]

It's the best.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's the best.

[Bill Maher]

Notting Hill.

[Drew Barrymore]

Richard Curtis, genius who made love. Actually, yes. Have you seen the movie About Time?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Drew Barrymore]

With Rachel McAdams?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Drew Barrymore]

And Donald Gleason?

[Bill Maher]

No, but it's about time I did that.

[Drew Barrymore]

And defending your life.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I love that. Of course.

[Drew Barrymore]

That's a masterpiece.

[Bill Maher]

Britt Brooks. I agree.

[Drew Barrymore]

Like those. About Time is so beautiful.

[Bill Maher]

Richard Curtis, I'll have to catch up with him. That one.

[Drew Barrymore]

He put such meaningful things into the world. He has so much heart and so much brilliance and his movies are so life affirming.

[Bill Maher]

But Notting Hill, it's just, it's like, it's, you know, you watch it, you know, maybe with someone who hasn't seen it, and it's just like. It's a transformative experience because it's just, just like what a romcom is supposed to be. It's actually funny, you know, it has funny lines in it. And it has what all rom coms need, a reason why the two people involved can't get together. I mean, you know, if it's Benjamin Button, it's because we're aging in reverse. How can we get together? There has to be a problem.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

The giant ship is sinking.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. This is a problem in a relationship.

[Drew Barrymore]

In our case of 50 first dates.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Drew Barrymore]

Remember?

[Bill Maher]

That's right. Exactly. And, you know, this is a. She's a goddess, you know, and. But then when she reminds us that she's just a girl standing in front.

[Drew Barrymore]

Of a girl, it's also Hugh Grant.

[Bill Maher]

You know, and Julia Roberts.

[Drew Barrymore]

That helps.

[Bill Maher]

They're both magnificent.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And it's just. And also the little cast of characters, of weirdos around him, there's a little. The best, you know, there's a little bit of that thing we love in movies where the character we relate to is the central sane figure in the middle, and around him or her are a bunch of crazy people.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, I relate more to Spike than Julia Roberts.

[Bill Maher]

No, you don't. No, you don't. You really don't. Spike. You are not Spike. You're Julia Roberts. You know, you're a movie star. You're a movie star.

[Drew Barrymore]

I've never known it.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just a boy sitting on a bench with a girl telling you you're.

[Drew Barrymore]

A movie star sitting on a swing.

[Bill Maher]

Telling you you're a movie star in my old house. And you just. Movie stars just don't go on dating sites. Okay, can we just make that rule? Movie stars don't go on dating sites.

[Drew Barrymore]

Deal.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I don't really think I have to explain it more than that.

[Drew Barrymore]

It was fun to attempt until I realized what everyone's dealing with. And now.

[Bill Maher]

Well, first of all, how could you even trust anything that's on it? You can't. Certainly can't trust the pictures.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, that's really.

[Bill Maher]

I Learned that from MySpace.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, my God. MySpace. I swear to God. That is why I emphasized the word trust earlier. I think that has. That is the North Star trust. And it's very hard, but it can be earned. And it's a beautiful thing when it.

[Bill Maher]

Is says, I've explained this to a million young girls younger than me, who don't understand because they're young. Trust is just not something that happens without ears, which you do not have. That doesn't mean I don't like you. But trust has to come in time. There is no shortcut to it. Like somebody I know 20 years I trust, if they do something sketchy, I will give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe because I've known them for a long time. I have history. Exactly. Exactly. History. And so it seems an aberration if you do something sketchy. I don't know you. It's very different. So that's all I know about you. Not you.

[Drew Barrymore]

It's so true. No, I feel.

[Bill Maher]

Not you. You. I do dress already.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm so glad.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, absolutely.

[Drew Barrymore]

Because you are a very. A word I learned which I loved along, you know, discerning. You are a very discerning man when it comes to a lot of things. You are.

[Bill Maher]

It's a charitable word for it, but I appreciate it. Yes, I think I am.

[Drew Barrymore]

I mean, I've watched you for decades go out there and speak your truth.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't think there is anything that exists of the truth. It's your truth.

[Bill Maher]

And there is also, in life, the truth. We may not always be able to discern it, but there is the truth.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, that's the biggest risk right now.

[Bill Maher]

But it's very hard to be the one on either side to ever proclaim, you know what it is. That is a dangerous thing to do. We always need to hear. Because we don't know. We're not going to God.

[Drew Barrymore]

No.

[Bill Maher]

Right. No, but there is. But it does exist. The truth. Not everything is just your truth. I mean, your truth has become sort of like code word for just whatever I feel like, whatever I feel like believing. Well, that's not really the same thing as your truth. You feel this way. Feeling is not enough for me. Again, that's such a man. Patriarchal point of view. Facts, things.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, but that. It just, it is such a taboo subject. The truth.

[Bill Maher]

It is. Oh, and it gets you hated.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, as soon as I said it, I was like, the truth. That there is no truth. I'm like, that doesn't work. You can't say things like that. But I was putting on you that you speak your truth and you have a lot of bravado about what you think is the truth or not. But it's just so refreshing. Like you were doing this before. It was so dangerous.

[Bill Maher]

Still dangerous.

[Drew Barrymore]

And it is just way too dangerous now. But you're still doing it.

[Bill Maher]

It's slightly less dangerous than it was two years ago because we did have a vibe change and because the Democrats lost so badly in 2024. The blush is off the rose on left wing censorship and. Oh my God, you can't say that. Stop telling me what I can do, what I can say, what I can think, who my heroes are supposed to be. Just, you know, just get the fuck off of me. Get back up off of me. That is a lot of just what viscerally is going on with me when I have issues with the left? Just get the fuck off of me. First of all, I don't believe you. You're not better. You just. You're a lot of posers. Not all of you, but just get the fuck off of me.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, that's what I like is it's. You're, you know, you call people out from all different areas and I don't even know how to address parties anymore. Everything is so different now. Yeah, but I, you know, if you are ballsy enough to do those things, what is it that like, scares you or that you care about?

[Bill Maher]

You're asking me?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Cut. I was so riveted by the framing there. I was.

[Drew Barrymore]

Wow.

[Bill Maher]

Who are we talking to? What was the question? What am I?

[Drew Barrymore]

If you're ballsy enough to Be brave enough to say your truths or speak to what you believe is the truth. What scares you and what do you care about?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, what scares me is a little bit me that you know, at any moment you can like say something that really in private conversation wouldn't upset anybody.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

But the snitches and bitches will be able to use it to attack end you, which they did once on Politically Incorrect.

[Drew Barrymore]

I've been ended a few times and I understand that it is real and it can happen.

[Bill Maher]

Right. So like I always say, whenever I leave the house, not even to just do the show, just leave the house. I'm having dinner at a restaurant, but one of those rooftop restaurants because is it really dangerous? Not very. But you could fall off the roof. Like when you ate at a normal restaurant, there's no danger of you falling off the road roof. When you eat at a rooftop restaurant, there's very little. But it is possible you could fall off the roof. When I go out, it's probably I'm just going out to dinner.

[Drew Barrymore]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

It's unlikely anything is going to happen that would end my career, but it is possible.

[Drew Barrymore]

Okay, so that is possible. That's a part of like the in trouble thing.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, yes, yes, exactly, exactly, exactly. Whenever it's so funny, pull into the driveway. I always say to my girl, like, did anything bad happen tonight? And she's like, what the fuck? Nothing bad happened. Are you sure?

[Drew Barrymore]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

We went out to dinner. Nothing bad happened.

[Drew Barrymore]

I have walked around with that feeling my whole life, but I'm always.

[Bill Maher]

And now it's like a running joke because, you know, anything bad happen, like that sort of paranoia. No. Is it as bad as things other people go through? No. But living with that paranoia is not nothing. I don't feel guilty about saying that. That's a complaint I have about life. Everybody has their complaints. That's one of mine. Is it as bad as starving? No, but it's not nothing. It kind of sucks that you can't pull into the driveway without got a peaceable night at dinner without thinking anything bad happen. Is somebody gonna like, you know, did I say something?

[Drew Barrymore]

Did I do something?

[Bill Maher]

Right? Right. Especially if you're with a lot of prominent people, you know, And I'm like a funny, funny guy and it's guy who gets loaded and like says, that's yes stuff. It's like, I thought it was funny.

[Drew Barrymore]

I have so many friends who are like, if they looked at my text, I'd be rude, like. Cause you just riff and talk and you're not like, you know, possibly liable at that moment.

[Bill Maher]

I wouldn't do it in a text.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, I'm just saying other people have that. On this property, right outside this window. My dad stayed on the property with me, and it was like the only time I ever lived with him. Cause he had.

[Bill Maher]

And you made him stay outside the window?

[Drew Barrymore]

Well, in this pathway here. No, he stayed in the house next door.

[Bill Maher]

The tree house.

[Drew Barrymore]

The tree house. He said to me. He was like. I said something about paranoia to him because he was extremely paranoid, but he said, it's not paranoia, it's Baranoia. And that happened at this house. And I was like, thank you. You finally put a word to how I feel in the world. I have fucking paranoia. Which is like a hybrid of our name, obviously, and paranoia. And maybe everybody feels that way. Maybe everyone's pulling into the driveway at night going, did I fucking do or say something?

[Bill Maher]

No, they're not. No, they're not. We are. Plumbers aren't. And I get it. I'd rather be.

[Drew Barrymore]

Maybe they are.

[Bill Maher]

No, they're not. I'd rather be me than a plumber. But let's not kid ourselves. Plumbers don't worry about. They don't pull in the driveway and go, did anything bad happen? They pull in the driveway and go, oh, shit, tomorrow the rent is due. And that's worse. But this is my shit. Like, we all just gotta live with our own shit. And that's, you know, as long as you're just not home alone, you're having dinner on the roof, you're probably not gonna fall off of it. But it's always kind of on your mind. Like, I don't ever have dinner anymore at restaurants on the roof. Cause what if there's an Earth earthquake? Unlikely. But if there is, I'm going to be trampled by a lot of millennials and gen zers going for the elevator. And they're not going to be like, you know, someone will be, oh, good, what a great opportunity to kill Bill Mars. Like, the earthquake is secondary to that, but, you know, it's just. It is what it is.

[Drew Barrymore]

I think everybody pulls into the driveway and is worse worried for their well being. They're worried about something happening.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, it's just different. It's just what they're worried about.

[Drew Barrymore]

The feeling is the same. And that's what I learned with in the institution. I was like, we're all in the same boat. We all feel the same way. It is a feeling of fear, of loss.

[Bill Maher]

All right, well, I know the show Is over. Because I have to pee.

[Drew Barrymore]

I have to pee second. It just hit me too.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, great. Look, we're in sync.

[Drew Barrymore]

We have matched up our cycles. That's what us girls do, Bill. We sync up well.

[Bill Maher]

I can't tell you how much this meant to me that you would come by here and do this. I'm gonna be on Hollywood Squares, right?

[Drew Barrymore]

No. Thank you for coming and doing that.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. I gave it my best shot.

[Drew Barrymore]

And I really hope that you'll come do the show. But most.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that I'd be good at.

[Drew Barrymore]

Most importantly, I. I want to throw that dinner party with you.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yes. Because like, people won't come if I invite them. But you.

[Drew Barrymore]

I totally disagree. I. I would show up for a dinner invitation from you.

[Bill Maher]

You're different. You're a little different. You're a different kind of cat. You're very real. A lot of. A lot of people in this town are like, it's very. About who else is.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, okay. Do you want to know something about me?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Drew Barrymore]

I literally avoided all the dinner parties because they made me feel like that there was like so much about who was there. And I have never been that person. And what I love about your show, and this is part of what I thought was our connection, that we can't help being ourselves. But that I find with you, and I know this as my trust, that I don't know where the next great conversation is coming from. I don't know where the life changing moment or the funny little fact or the wisdom or the idea of something or the laugh or the tear is coming from. And the way I see you talking to people all these years is so not always about the name or the person or the this or the get or the that. No, it's talking to people.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Very interesting to hear.

[Drew Barrymore]

I am a people person.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I know.

[Drew Barrymore]

So I know we'll make that dinner party really fun. And it's not going to be the gets. It's like, who would we find so fun and who would actually come? And I know it would be fucking awesome.

[Bill Maher]

No, I want to get Spielberg.

[Drew Barrymore]

All right, we'll call him. I haven't want speed dial because again.

[Bill Maher]

You could get him and I can't. That's what I'm saying.

[Drew Barrymore]

Yeah, I can get him on speed dial, but when he comes, I don't.

[Bill Maher]

Know if it was you. He would.

[Drew Barrymore]

If I said it was.

[Bill Maher]

But also he'd want to know who else is there. But it would be like, that's the thing. Like, you know, the highfalutin types, the fancy people, they want to feel like they're among people of their worthy.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't get that vibe from you.

[Bill Maher]

Not me.

[Drew Barrymore]

Not me.

[Bill Maher]

Definitely not me.

[Drew Barrymore]

No, me neither. I've never felt that way in my life. I. I know. Like the idea of that, like people have to be like successful and fabulous. I mean, it's true. I've never even like dated that way. I just. That is not plainly. I know. I just. It's not where my head's at. My head is like, who is that fucking person? Are they. Do they have a brilliance that I would be so lucky to be around and really like enjoy that? And then who they are in the world is totally random after that. Random, right.

[Bill Maher]

Couldn't agree more. Having said that, Benson Boone asked me for your number.

[Drew Barrymore]

He's so too young and he so does not want my phone number.

[Bill Maher]

And I'm just saying.

[Drew Barrymore]

But by the way, he's so lovely. He's such a dynamic figure out in the world. I'm very excited for him and his life.

[Bill Maher]

I agree.

[Drew Barrymore]

All of that he's putting out. Maybe he would come to the dinner party.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly. He would if you asked him. I'm telling you, you're the new Sue Mengers. I'm telling you, you have compared to Sue Mangers hot.

[Drew Barrymore]

H A W T. I'm glad we.

[Bill Maher]

Put a human face on this. I guarantee you Benson Boone would not come to a dinner party if I invited him. But would definitely come if you invited him.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't know.

[Bill Maher]

Maybe that is the litmus test.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. You want to put a billion trillion pesos on this? Yes. Benson Boom.

[Drew Barrymore]

Let's just see what happens.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Drew Barrymore]

And either we're both going to be a loser so far that Benson Boom doesn't want to fucking have dinner with.

[Bill Maher]

It's only eight people. Me, you, Spielberg and his wife.

[Drew Barrymore]

I hope to not have a round table because I'd like to talk. That's the fucking thing with big round tables. You've alienated everyone and all of you.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, no, no.

[Drew Barrymore]

Next to you.

[Bill Maher]

This table is the opposite of alienating.

[Drew Barrymore]

Okay? I'm gonna measure it.

[Bill Maher]

You can do it right now. It's right next door. Okay, but I'm telling you, Spielberg, Bensonville.

[Drew Barrymore]

Bigger than 60 inches. I'm gonna be coming here with a chainsaw and like taking off the rim.

[Bill Maher]

That's what she said. Oh my God. I'm sorry to keep you.

[Drew Barrymore]

Are you kidding? Peeing this was the best.

[Bill Maher]

I agree. All right. It's A shame that we can't do this on real tv. But you know, years ago you did. I mean real time. And I did not treat you the right way. I know I didn't.

[Drew Barrymore]

You remember that?

[Bill Maher]

I do and I'm sorry about it. I was, I should have been.

[Drew Barrymore]

Thank you for saying. Because you did the documentary and you were so nice.

[Bill Maher]

I just should have been cooler. And it was early on and I was. Was like nervous and getting my.

[Drew Barrymore]

I got off the show.

[Bill Maher]

I was like, I didn't know what the show was. I was like, okay, interesting.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh, thank you for saying that.

[Bill Maher]

Guess what always bothered me.

[Drew Barrymore]

Oh my God, I love that.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. No, no, I'm better now by the way. I grew up more, you know, I got more mature.

[Drew Barrymore]

Ever held it against.

[Bill Maher]

I know. Because you're so sweet like that. I know.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm a good person.

[Bill Maher]

I appreciate. You really are. You really are. And so sane. So sane, you know.

[Drew Barrymore]

God, really, People don't realize that's the compliment out there.

[Bill Maher]

So many nuts here and they're not.

[Drew Barrymore]

I don't doubt it by the way.

[Bill Maher]

And some of them are like very high futin. Nuts. But they are.

[Drew Barrymore]

But there are some high functioning nuts out there.

[Bill Maher]

Nuts.

[Drew Barrymore]

They are totally.

[Bill Maher]

It's like in Notting Hill, you know that scene where. The same scene where you quoted before and he's saying to her, I haven't seen you in a while and I see you won an Oscar and you're doing so well. And she's like, it's all nonsense. It's all nonsense. I know it seems great and you read about in the papers but. But nonsense it is. It's just so great that moment.

[Drew Barrymore]

It is nonsense.

[Bill Maher]

It is nonsense. It's not. Okay.

[Drew Barrymore]

I'm excited to see who's going to come to this dinner party.

[Bill Maher]

Benson Boone.

[Drew Barrymore]

Benson Boone is our first invite.

[Bill Maher]

Because you know like Spielberg's going to say who else is going to be there? And you're going to say Benson Boone. He's going, oh, this must be the greatest party. Benson Boone.

[Drew Barrymore]

Guess what? Benson Boone has all the powers in this seminar. But he's going to say none. And it's all Benson Boone.

[Bill Maher]

He's going to say who's coming? And you're going to say Steven Spielberg. And he's going to say I'm there.

[Drew Barrymore]

Well yeah, because when that Spielberg. It's not us.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Drew Barrymore]

So we have no clout or pull. It's basically what we do.

[Bill Maher]

Because you can lie to them both random.