Jerry Seinfeld | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode: Jerry Seinfeld | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

Date: May 21, 2026
Host: Bill Maher
Guest: Jerry Seinfeld

---

Episode Overview

In this Club Random Classics episode, Bill Maher sits down with his longtime friend and comedy legend Jerry Seinfeld for an intimate, freewheeling conversation. Eschewing politics, the two reflect on stand-up as a craft, compare notes from decades in show business, reminisce about influential comedic moments, and discuss the evolving nature of performance, memory, and aging. The episode is rich in candid stories, comedic insights, and warm mutual appreciation—delivering both a comedy masterclass and a meditation on the passage of time from two of the form’s greatest practitioners.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

---

1. Friendship & The Ritual of "Working" Together

[02:33 – 04:45]

• The Utility of “Working” as a Social Connector:

  • Jerry: "I don't like to be around people not working. The working is kind of this base...I can hang out with almost any comic if we're here to do a gig. If I'm here just to enjoy your company, that's not good to me. No, the art is not gonna be good enough." (03:47)
  • Bill: Relates, appreciating the structure working together provides to their social lives.

• Performing as a Lens:

  • They agree this “working” is what brings out the best in their relationships, and both are more comfortable and genuine in that space.

---

2. The Hierarchy & Science of Stand-Up

[06:16 – 09:26]

• Maher’s Tribute to Seinfeld:

  • Bill gifted Jerry a customized rabbit statue, symbolizing Jerry as "the rabbit we never caught"—the lead among comedians. (08:16)
  • Jerry, touched but humorously absent-minded, admits he never read the inscription: "Oh, I never read it. I'll go home right after this and read it." (08:50)

• Shared Origins & Advice:

  • Bill reminisces about early-career advice from Jerry: “You should just try one or two new things” when developing material—not overload the set with fresh content. (09:39)
  • They discuss the importance of intentional, gradual experimentation in stand-up.

---

3. Nostalgia for Comedy & American Culture

[10:25 – 13:42]

• Childhood Memorabilia:

  • Bill shows Jerry a 1964 World’s Fair map and TV Guide memorabilia. Jerry, a self-professed "World's Fair obsessive," is delighted.
  • On the World's Fair: "There's a sadness to what the world seemed like to us at this time...what everybody wanted it to be." (11:52)
  • On changing public discourse: “Now every pavilion would have somebody in front of it...nobody would just enjoy the fucking [world].” (12:08)

• Comedy Circuit Memories:

  • They recall the glory days at legendary clubs like Catch a Rising Star and the Comic Strip, noting generational changes and the ephemeral nature of their early scene.

---

4. Careers, Minimalism, and the Philosophy of “No Extra Moves”

[21:11 – 26:02]

• Paul Simon’s “One Trick Pony” & Comedic Minimalism:

  • Bill compares Jerry to the song’s “immaculate machine”—effortless, clean, direct.
  • Jerry draws inspiration from Mike Tyson’s minimalism and Japanese cultural simplicity: “I was so happy there...just focus and simplicity and singularity of purpose.” (25:08)
  • On legacy projects (talk shows, movies, stand-up): Jerry admits, “If I could have just been a pure standup and never done anything else...” (26:02)

• Maher’s Career Reflection:

  • Bill shares plans to potentially step back from stand-up after an upcoming special: “As you know, stand up is like playing the cello...you have to stay in practice.” (26:32)
  • He expresses nervousness about quitting, likening it to “cutting off a limb.”

---

5. The Business & Art of Stand-Up Today

[27:02 – 31:44]

• Changing Business Models:
  • Discussion about the proliferation of podcasts and the fragmented nature of modern entertainment. Bill notes: “...there's like 4 million podcasts in America, but no one's doing this one.” (31:20)
  • Jerry pushes back on the obsession with historical comparisons: “Forget that. We're here now. You're you.” (31:59)

---

6. Aging, Diminishment, and Comedy’s Generational Appeal

[31:56 – 40:49]

• Shifts in Cultural Memory:

  • Bill: “World War II was like my childhood. I look back, it was like everything.” (32:57)
  • They reflect on the loss of communal, national cultural touchstones.

• Late-Night Hosts as Societal Barometers:

  • On Johnny Carson: “He could be terrible to people...especially when he drank.” (40:01)
  • Jerry: “Everyone at that level should be terrible to people.” (39:51)
  • Contrast with modern hosts and the shifting late-night landscape.
  • Bill on generational shifts in TV: "That's why Leno was right for his era and Johnny was right for his era." (44:38)

---

7. Craft Talk: Writing, Consistency, & Elegance in Comedy

[35:06 – 36:34, 60:08 – 61:09]

• Writing Editorials vs. Stand-Up:

  • Bill likens his weekly HBO editorials to Jerry’s stand-up: “What standup is for you is what writing that editorial at the end of the show is for me.” (35:55)
  • Jerry praises Bill’s editorial consistency: “Your level of consistency is shocking...It’s the best comedy monologue every week that anyone does.” (36:07)

• On Comedy Writing as Craft:

  • Jerry’s admiration: “When that is executed, I mean, I just feel full of music. I just love it.” (61:09)
  • Importance of striving for simplicity, elegance, and a unique voice.

---

8. Legacies, Letting Go, and the Function of Memory

[46:44 – 48:05, 74:28 – 80:14]

• Good Memories Bring Sadness:

  • Bill: “Bad memories do not make me sad. Good memories make me sad.” (47:41)
  • On mementos: Jerry throws away “almost all” of his memorabilia; Bill, the “caveman,” treasures keepsakes.

• Letting Go of Phases:

  • Both express comfort in moving on from stages of life: “I've enjoyed it [stand-up]. But maybe that's cool.” (80:14 – Maher)

---

9. Parenting, Growth, and the “Manager” Approach

[77:53 – 79:30]

• On Raising Kids:
  • Jerry: “It's mostly what you didn't do wrong, really bad stuff...You were kind of left to your own devices, and you're in a fairly healthy environment...” (78:14)
  • He reflects on his wife’s role and the luck/instinct that makes long-term relationships thrive.

---

10. Philosophy, Acceptance, and Living in the Present

[66:59 – 69:54]

• Marcus Aurelius & Stoicism:
  • Jerry finds daily meaning reading “Meditations”: “It's a fantastic guy to get you to zoom out...Everything that you're worried about is much smaller than you make it in your head.” (67:27)
  • Bill: “That's amazing. I didn't think I'd ever hear that from you.” (69:08)
  • Their embrace of stoic philosophy deepens their acceptance of change, aging, and the limits of control.

---

11. Sophistication & Mass Appeal in Comedy

[69:30 – 73:01]

• Excellence as Reaching the “Golden Mean”:

  • Bill: “Excellence is always getting to that golden mean of, like, the two things that are in opposition, but somehow you bring them together.” (69:41)
  • Jerry’s ability to appeal to both “every single person” and “the most intelligent person in the room.”

• Silliness and Depth:

  • Jerry credits Monty Python and Peter Sellers with inspiring his ideal: “Sophisticated silliness...absolutely lit me up. Like, this is everything that I want, everything that I love.” (70:53)

---

12. The Evolution of Comedy & Generational Differences

[80:49 – 82:12]

• Aging in Comedy:
  • Bill contemplates generational differences in humor and audiences: “I would add it to the hopper about me maybe getting out of it...humor is not something that translates through the ages that well. And like, the humor of today is a lot more about feelings.” (80:49)
  • Jerry: “But they also want to see people that can really do it.” (81:16)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Science of Comedy:
  “Standup is like playing the cello. Absolutely. You can't just walk up there. You have to stay in practice.” — Bill Maher (26:32)

• On Excellence in Simplicity:
  “He makes it look so easy, looks so clean. He moves like God's immaculate machine.” — Bill Maher referencing Paul Simon’s “One Trick Pony” (21:11)

• The Comedic Leader:
  “The rabbit we never caught.” — Bill Maher describing Jerry Seinfeld (08:16)

• On Letting Go:
  “I enjoy that—that’s over, and now we’re doing this.” — Jerry Seinfeld (80:02)

• On Compliments:
  “An insincere compliment is absolutely of equal value as a totally genuine compliment. There is no difference in value. They're both utterly meaningless and just as nice.” — Jerry Seinfeld (48:05)

• On Writing and Consistency:
  “Your level of consistency is shocking. And it’s the best comedy monologue every week that anyone does.” — Jerry Seinfeld to Bill Maher (36:07)

• On Parenting:
  “It's mostly what you didn't do wrong...You were kind of left to your own devices, and you're in a fairly healthy environment, and hopefully you make decent choices.” — Jerry Seinfeld (78:14)

• On Philosophy:
  “It’s a fantastic guy to get you to zoom out...everything that you’re worried about is much smaller than you make it in your head.” — Jerry Seinfeld on Marcus Aurelius (67:27)

• On Aging and Comedy:
  “All you can ever be is good for your age.” — Bill Maher (58:19)
  “I will [do standup] till I drop.” — Jerry Seinfeld (30:40)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:33 — Maher expresses excitement for Seinfeld’s appearance; they joke about social rituals among comics.
• 08:16 — Bill’s story about the “rabbit we never caught” gift.
• 13:10 — Reminiscence on the 1964 World’s Fair and cultural innocence.
• 21:11 — Discussion of Paul Simon, “One Trick Pony,” and comedic minimalism.
• 26:32 — Maher ponders leaving stand-up, paralleling the instrument discipline of comedy.
• 31:20 — Critique of the modern entertainment landscape and podcast proliferation.
• 36:07 — Jerry praises Bill’s editorial monologue.
• 47:41 — Bill reflects that good memories bring sadness.
• 60:08 — Jerry admires Maher’s writing process and simplicity.
• 67:27 — Jerry on reading Marcus Aurelius and finding perspective.
• 69:41 — Bill on reaching the golden mean in comedy.
• 80:02 — Jerry on appreciating life’s phases and moving on.

---

Tone & Language

The conversation is candid, irreverent, nostalgic, gently philosophical, and replete with the wry wit expected from both hosts. Seinfeld brings a minimalist, philosophical tone, while Maher blends self-deprecation with appreciation for craft and growth.

---

For those who haven’t listened, this episode is part masterclass, part heartfelt reunion—offering unique insight into the art of stand-up, the evolution of comedy, and the richness of long creative lives.

Transcript

[A]

I want to tell you all about Superpower. One set of lab tests either at a nearby lab or they come to your house and suddenly you've got over a hundred biomarkers staring back at you. This is what healthcare should have been from the start. Proactive, not reactive. Unlock your new health intelligence with Superpower. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with Superpower. For a limited time, our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. Head over to superpower.com and use code random for $20 off your membership.

[B]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher

[A]

and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with popping Boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all now at McDonald's. Refreshers contain caffeine. Copyright 2026, the Coca Cola Company. Sprite is a registered trademark of the Coca Cola Company.

[C]

This summer, serve up the Cookout Classics, Kraft Mayo and Dressing. Toss green salads with delicious ranch dressing or zesty Italian. Serve smooth, craveably creamy potato salads with mayo. We all know it's not a cookout without craft.

[A]

Well, folks, if you're gonna spend money on something, it might as well be something you actually like. That's what I always say. That's where the Club Random merch store comes in. That's right. Get yourself a cozy hoodie. Look at this. This is really well designed. That's right. Get yourself a cozy hoodie to snuggle away your sorrows. Or some new Club Random shirts. Look at all this shit. I have to attract a partner with similar interests and live happily ever after. I've seen crazier rom coms, so head over to clubrandom.com and bring home some random. Well, in this episode of Club Random Classics, I sit down with my friend Jerry Seinfeld, one of the few comedians who treat standup like a science. We break down the tiny details that make or break a joke, the evolution of performing over decades, and why most people misunderstand what great comedy actually is. It's not just funny, it's a masterclass. So grab your favorite beverage or a pen and paper or both, and enjoy.

[B]

Claude Randall.

[A]

I must tell you, I got up this morning. It was like Christmas morning. No, really. I felt that Christmas morning vibe because, like, Jerry Seinfeld's gonna be here.

[B]

I am excited, too. I got excited, too. I've been excited for a couple Days.

[A]

It looks odd that we're talking about being excited in this position with each other. Sit down. There's a stripper ball right there.

[B]

I see.

[A]

But you'll never guess who just called me Leno.

[B]

I just talked to him too, but

[A]

I said, yeah, I haven't seen him in a while. I really would love to get together, maybe the three of us when you're out here.

[B]

That'd be amazing. So that's what's good about these shows, though, which I'm sure you've already discovered and I discovered with the Comedians in Cars. People. I can't. I can't. I'm not calling people up and hanging out. But if you do a show, I

[A]

said it every week. Yeah, yeah. Both people who I know like you, who are like. Exactly. Why are we here?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because we're forced to. We're not. It's just this crazy force of thing that makes us. We don't need the money. You don't need the promotion. Although we'll certainly do what we can.

[B]

Thank.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

But the other thing is, I don't know how you feel. I think you might be a little different this way, but I don't like to be around people not working. The working is kind of this base. It's like a baseline current. It's like a beat. It's like I can hang out with almost any comic. If we're here to do a gig. If we're just. If I'm here just to enjoy your company, that's not good to me. No, the art is not gonna be good enough. Your company. If I can get a set in and a ch.

[A]

And get some new material. I mean, I could take that the wrong way, but I'm not going to. Yes, I completely see the point about. And said it to. About work, but also to. While you are working, do exactly what you would be if you were not working. In other words, if we were.

[B]

Let's go over that again.

[A]

If we. If we were just here and we weren't working, we. I want this conversation to be zero different.

[B]

Oh, that won't happen. That can't happen. Because, I mean. Yes, I'm a savvy professional. Do you think I don't know that? If I say something stupid, it won't.

[A]

Okay, I can do it.

[B]

No, even you are savvy. You are also the savviest professional. If I may. What do you weigh right now, boy? What do you weigh?

[A]

Weigh. Is that a relevant question?

[B]

What's the name of the show?

[A]

Club Random.

[B]

Okay. What do you weigh?

[A]

I think probably 152 today. What?

[B]

Today?

[A]

Today. It varies.

[B]

Yeah, me too. I weigh 166 today.

[A]

And what were you in 1979.

[B]

79. I was probably 150. Probably the same. But I think you have a. You're slightly smaller,

[A]

I don't know, over time or. You mean compared to you. Yeah, it's a frame. You're a little bigger.

[B]

A little bit. Yeah.

[A]

Also ego.

[B]

Yes. Well, I don't know. That's a close race. Let's. Let's.

[A]

Well, listen, before I forget, I. What can I get Jerry for his birthday? I mean, the man. You have everything. You're a great star.

[B]

Never get tired of that. Do you ever get tired of that? No one else ever said those words, but, Don, you're a great star.

[A]

I know. I only said it to you.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

No one else.

[B]

I love it. I want you so bad.

[A]

How about she took the necklace off and the head hits the sink? Some of those things, they made no sense, you know? Drop your pants and fire a rocket.

[B]

Well, he didn't want to say fire a rocket out of my ass. That's what he wanted to say. But he was very, very clean. Which is interesting because he. That he had those little. What do we call them? He would just kind of bend the rules, let's say, for television and for his.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

You know. But. Yeah. Drop my pants and fire a rocket out of my ass. That's what you're supposed to. You're supposed to finish it in your head.

[A]

I didn't even know that was a thing.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Well, I loved it as a kid, no matter what he did, you know, and he certainly would be the eminently cancelable today.

[B]

Let's not.

[A]

Oh, I promise you, I saw him.

[B]

You can't move him from yesterday, from then to now without him modulating.

[A]

He wouldn't have.

[B]

You don't know that he's gonna wanna work. I think the man likes to work.

[A]

Okay. But I saw him doing it, like, later than it should have been. I saw him opening. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That was a miscalculation.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway. Anyway, I wanted.

[B]

This is so you. Spill.

[A]

It's so touched. You don't even know what it is yet.

[B]

But don't worry, I'm not really touched.

[A]

But what it is. Well, I hope you were touched by what I gave you at your.

[B]

I was. I put it very prominently in my little den, the metal Rab. But I love it. And I look at it and I think of you and It's a bit. It's too much. Cause you really.

[A]

Well, and it's true. And let me tell the people.

[B]

Oh, gosh, do we have to.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Tell them.

[A]

You don't wanna.

[B]

All right, go ahead. It's okay.

[A]

I mean, it's. It's not. I mean, it's not a big deal.

[B]

It was very sweet. I'm very nice.

[A]

But I. But it. It limns. I think, for an audience, who you really are to us, the comedians. I had a rabbit made, by the way. It's. They don't make rabbits. I had to have it made because you can get a bunny on Amazon. Bunnies are all over, but not like the rabbit in motion. And the idea was Jerry was always the rabbit among the comedians. He was the lead leader of the pack who we were all chasing. And it was inscribed, the rabbit we never caught.

[B]

Oh, what?

[A]

You don't remember that?

[B]

Of course I.

[A]

You said it like, oh, I didn't

[B]

think I read it. Does it say that on there?

[A]

It does.

[B]

Oh, I never read it. I'll go home right after this and read it.

[A]

You just remember me saying it at the park?

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

That's interesting. Wow. Well, anyway, that's exactly who you are.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Always were. You've also been a great friend. You know, you were there when I did the first week of Politically Incorrect. You didn't have to. You flew to Washington on your wife's birthday in 2014, when I needed a guest on. When we did our special show in dc. You remember that?

[B]

That's right. When you did the standup special.

[A]

And I certainly have vivid memories of, like, one time I got off stage at the Comic Strip, and I had tried, like, all this new material. This is my first year.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I remember you. I look back and I think, you must have been thinking, you fucking idiot. But you were nice enough to be like, you know, you should just try one or two new things. And it was, you know, advice I needed to get and probably did not follow for another three years. But I went through all, like, my file from 1979, because I thought, where can I get the person who has everything you've got? The amazing career, the perfect wife, the great family, the adoration of a grateful nation. The only thing I could get you is to amuse you and give you a memory or bring back a memory. So here's my show and tell box. Look at this, from 1979. What is it?

[B]

Comedy Hour. Don't Mar in Company.

[A]

No. I don't know why I'm in company. It's my first year in comedy. But look at the time.

[B]

12:30 to 1:30.

[A]

12:30 to 1 30.

[B]

Well, you can't give me this.

[A]

I'm not giving it to you. There is something I do want to give you.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

That I've treasured for 50 years. 60 years, but I.

[B]

60?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's from the. It's 1964. But 12:30, the fact that we were doing shows all the time, and this is. Well, 12:30 would be a bad time to do the show, a.m. or p.m. but this was noon. This was a nooner. Okay. So. All right, so here's the thing. I want to have framed, if you like it, for you. See if you can see what this is. I bet you. You are here. Oh, I'm a pack rat. You're not.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Do you know what that is?

[B]

Of course I know what it is. And I really. It's more than anything. Yes.

[A]

Were you there?

[B]

I lived for it. I went many, many times. And I have quite a bit of memorabilia myself. Anything blue and orange that says World's Fair on it, I have it. Not anything.

[A]

Well, that is the map that told you where all the pavilions and everything was at the 1964 World's Fair, which. Oh.

[B]

So let's. Let's be honest, Bill, what, and say there's a sadness to what the world seemed like to us at this time, what we thought it was, what everybody wanted it to be. Right.

[A]

I was looking at this the other day, and I see, like, you know, the GM Pavilion, and I thought, you know, nobody bitched about every fucking thing back then. Now every pavilion would have somebody in front of it. Like, you know, you're making oil and you can't, you know, like, nobody would just enjoy the fucking.

[B]

Well, it's Jimmy Brogan's great heckler line that he used to do when people would start to heckle and he would always say, I'm sorry we don't have microphones for everyone. Remember that line?

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

Unfortunately. That's what happened.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's what happened. And, yes, it ruined everything. But how do you have this, by the way?

[A]

Because I'm a pack rat. I'm the opposite of you.

[B]

Oh, this is a map of the World's Fair. It looks like an architectural.

[A]

No, I think they gave it to you, like, so that you could know where, you know, hey, I'm here at the. At the Finland Pavilion. No, really. And we want to get to Muriel Cigars before lunch.

[B]

We want to get to Muriel Cigars.

[A]

I remember walking around here and at one point being very like tired and my feet were hurting.

[B]

Yes. Remember how boring the countries were? I don't want to see any countries. Right. Let's go to the world.

[A]

Well, the Caribbean. You'll see, that was on there. That was kind of a good one.

[B]

Do you remember the stories of the kids that got lost in there? Their parents left them there and they were living off the coins in the fountain to eat corn dogs.

[A]

I don't remember that, but I do remember kids getting lost there.

[B]

Well, if you're going to give this to me, I want to have it

[A]

framed and then give it to you.

[B]

Yes, I would love it. And I'll put it up on my wall because this means you can look

[A]

at it endlessly because it's so intricate and they have all the incredible.

[B]

Oh, thank you, Billy. That's lovely.

[A]

See, you can't get that at Sears.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

So funny that you mentioned Jimmy Brogan. This is what I took out of a TV guide in 1979, the year I met you at the clubs. I kept every one of the fall preview issues of TV Guide that had all the new shows. You know what I'm talking about?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

And that was like. That was a big event for me when I was a kid.

[B]

The fall shows. Yeah.

[A]

Like this one, I do not remember, but this is a man called Sloan. Robert Conrad.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I loved him. I wanted to be him. Yeah, What a stud. Stars as Thomas Remington Sloan iii, A stylish Cosmopolitan. An unnervingly effective globe circling secret agent. Not unlike James Bond, who reports directly to the President of the United States. But look who's at the bottom.

[B]

Out of the blue with Jimmy Brogan.

[A]

And I cut that out because

[B]

it

[A]

was like, wow, I know a guy in TV gun. Right like that. Really? See, like I said, like there was nobody else here.

[B]

I've read for Trapper John so many times.

[A]

What?

[B]

I don't know why they kept reading me. They never put me on the show. I was desperate to get on in the 80s. So here it is.

[A]

Trapper John.

[B]

Trapper John.

[A]

I didn't know you read for guest

[B]

starring a couple of times.

[A]

Yeah, I know you did the Benson. You were a regular.

[B]

Yes, well, I did three episodes.

[A]

I thought it was like seven.

[B]

No, I was three and they fired me. Oh, mercifully.

[A]

That's very close to the guy who didn't sign the Beatles.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

That's all right. By the way, drink. You don't Drink or you just have?

[B]

I drink, but it's a little early and I'm driving.

[A]

Oh, you're driving. You drove yourself?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What a stud. Yeah, but we know how you feel about cars.

[B]

Yeah, I drove an old Mercedes Benz diesel here.

[A]

I mean, I just. That level of car, I mean, I guess Jay has it, too.

[B]

Level of car, enthusiasm. Yeah, I don't want to talk about that.

[A]

I don't either.

[B]

I don't like to. I know it's not of any interest,

[A]

but to your credit, you made it interesting to me on the show. Like when you did those ACUA commercials.

[B]

Yeah. You got a little interested.

[A]

I know. Well, not enough to pursue it, but I was interested in the connection you had between the person and the car. Why you felt that I thought was elegant.

[B]

Yeah. People like that.

[A]

I never understood the one you picked me up in. It was a German police.

[B]

It was for one joke, which is it was a VW police car. Because this is. You're someone who seems to have a lot of power and has none. And I thought that that's what that car is, a VW police car. You're police, but you can't catch anybody. So.

[A]

Well, yeah, I guess I noticed that, like, in that show, though, like, in your own kind of Seinfeldian way, you did become, like, such a truth teller. You know, obviously not political the way I do it, but, like, you just used your political capital from the first show.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I felt like, you know, the popularity that you had accrued to, like, go, well, I'm just gonna say what the fuck I want. And it's not always gonna be that pleasing to everybody. And that's so, to me, the most refreshing thing in show business.

[B]

Yeah, but it wasn't. It was nothing, really. I suppose it was a little more revealing than what people had known prior, but not that much, really. I don't know what have you.

[A]

That's what I think.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I mean, just because you were. You weren't playing from a script like in the show. I mean, that's a character, first of all. Obviously close, but, you know, I mean, the situations were so absurd.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And they were ridiculous that it was a show about nothing. Nothing. It was a show about everything.

[B]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

You know, all those things. That's not. And then now you're just talking to somebody and they're saying, you know, like, what do you think you owe your kids? Nothing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, you just, you know. You know, you said things about, like, family and stuff like that that was like, oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah. Well, that's what this show is. But what you've accomplished with this show, because I thought nobody has always been more. I don't want to use the word transparent, but you. We probably know more about your opinions than any other celebrity out there. And yet on this show, there was a whole other world of stuff that I can't believe. I still can't believe. When you were on with, I think it was Mamet and you got into a thing about the battery shortage in Germany, that they were trying to go electric when they kind of over shot it. And I'm going, how does this guy stop at that article in the paper and say, yeah, I need to know more about the German power grid?

[A]

Stop. You're being. You don't think you know about many, many things?

[B]

No, I don't. Not like you.

[A]

Really?

[B]

No. I watched the show to see what does Bill know that I didn't know he knew? And I'm always blown away. Wow, that one was amazing. And then you talk with that other guy about the Bible and you know all about the Bible.

[A]

I'm old.

[B]

I know, but your brain is worthy of all the attention it gets.

[A]

Well, finish your thought, Jerry.

[B]

Yes,

[A]

thank you.

[B]

No, thank you. I think you're amazing and I'm enjoying you as much now.

[A]

You're such a sphinx. I didn't even know you ever saw this show.

[B]

I watch everyone.

[A]

How do I know these things? I texted you about doing this. You never texted me back.

[B]

I texted you back, love to. I'm a fan of the show.

[A]

Oh, yes, that originally. Then I texted you about a month ago and said, what about when you're doing the promoting the pop tart movie? And I didn't hear back. Your people got back and said, yeah, he's gonna do it. I was like, thrilled, but it's like.

[B]

Cause I already told you I want to do it.

[A]

I know that's. But most people are not quite. See, again, I'm a rat pack. You are the guy who is. There's no extra. No extra.

[B]

I do like that. I love no extra.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I think, to quote one more thing that I quoted before about the Paul Simon song, that I always think that is you. And it's such an amazing song. One trick pony. And you are anything but a one trick pony. Cause you've been successful in. When you did reinvent the talk show, you had your series and you've done movies. But there's that middle part. He makes it look so easy, looks so clean. He moves like God's immaculate machine. He makes me think about all these extra moves I make and all this herky jerky motion and the bag of tricks it takes to get me through my working day. I feel like I'm the herky jerky guy.

[B]

Well, you're not.

[A]

And you're the guy who's, like, just gliding through with no extra and no baggage and no stupid mistakes. So you ever go to the doctor, they run a few tests, and you walk out with the profound medical assessment of you're fine. Great. Fine compared to what? A house plant? That's why I want to tell you all about Superpower. Because unlike your doctor, it actually gives you real information. One set of lab tests, either at a nearby lab or they come to your house, which already makes it better than every doctor's office I've ever been in. And suddenly you've got over 100 biomarkers staring back at you. Heart, hormones, metabolism, vitamins. Even environmental stuff you didn't even know you were supposed to be worrying about. Which congratulations. Now you are. But here's what makes it different. It doesn't just hand you a pile of numbers and wish you luck. The app breaks it down and actually tells you what to do. Supplements, lifestyle changes, prescriptions if you need them. An actual plan, not a shrug. It also tracks you over time and gives you your biological age, which is either very motivating or deeply humbling, depending on how you have been living. This is what healthcare should have been from the start. Proactive, not reactive. Unlock your new health intelligence with Superpower. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with Superpower. For a limited time, our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. Head over to superpower.com and use code RANDOM for $20 off your membership. That's Code Random, and after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower. Do us a favor, if you could, and tell them Club Random sent you to show support for our show. When you finally find your thing, you want the whole world to know about that thing. So you use a thing called Canva to make it an even bigger and better thing. Whether you want to create flyers for that thing, make presentations for that thing, or design merch for that thing, you can do anything so people can see your thing, feel your thing, love your thing. The next thing you know, it's a thing. Canva, the thing that makes anything a thing. And.

[B]

And that song, by the way, hit me like that, too. I thought, that's everything I want to be. What he's Describing, I go, that's it?

[A]

That's all you don't think you are?

[B]

That I don't try? I don't know.

[A]

I mean, you were always, like, more mature than the rest of us. Like in. Back in the day, what did you

[B]

do that was immature, professionally speaking?

[A]

We all knocked out professionally and personally, many things. Let's not.

[B]

Professionally.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely professionally. I used to piss off the crowd, so they hated me so much. No matter what kind of joke I told, no matter how funny it was, they would never laugh. That's the most unprofessional thing you can do. I remember once at the Comedy Cellar, the emcee getting on after me and saying to the audience, okay, that bad man is gone now. That is absolute gold run fest. I think it was. That bad man is gone now. Yeah, I was very.

[B]

Okay. I consider that just growth, no creative experimentation that yet you need.

[A]

No, no experimentation. No, no. It was totally a function of a bad attitude.

[B]

Your bad attitude has matured, I hope. Totally. You're one of the most successful people in the history of television and standup comedy.

[A]

I have been on a long time, yes.

[B]

Yeah. My aesthetic role model was Mike Tyson. When I saw Mike Tyson in his prime, when he cut the hole in the hotel towel and had no socks and no stool and black shorts with nothing on them, I thought, that's what I want to be.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And recently, just a few years ago, I don't know what it was, I said, why do I have these different colored ties and suits? I go, I'm just wearing a black suit and a black tie from now on. And it just felt so calm. We visited Japan last December. I was so happy there. I connected so strongly with that ethic of their culture of just focus and simplicity and singularity of purpose. You know, I do like that. And I have done these other things, and I have to say it's all with a component of reluctance. I do it to think. I think I could do that, you know, like the movie, Like, I think I could do that. Or let's do a different type of talk show, I think I might be able to do that. But it's not really what I wanted. If I could have just been a pure standup and never done anything else.

[A]

But you're already known as the purest of the pure. Stand up. That's your. That is like your. And it's real. And by the way, this leads me to something I feel nervous about telling you. I feel like you're the confessor to this, but like, after this year, I'm gonna stop doing it really well. Or I could go back. I don't wanna make, like a big announcement or something.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

Well, I mean, I'm doing a special at the end of the year.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It'll be my 13th for HBO. That's a lot.

[B]

That's a lot.

[A]

And I just feel like you gotta. I don't know, you know, first of all, I put a lot of time and effort into it because, as you know, stand up is like playing the cello. Absolutely. You can't just walk up there. You have to stay in practice. And I do. And I've always loved it and I'm always working on it. But I have a show.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I mean, I don't know

[B]

how you kept it up during the show or frankly, why, but you did.

[A]

Because they fed each other, first of all. It was so great. And also. Cause I love it. I mean, it's. You know, I can be the loosest. I can. You know, the show is great, but there's constrictors there. This is looser. But you know, what's looser than just you? People paid to see me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even if you don't like it, you kind of have to laugh because to get your money's worth, the way you stay in a movie, even though if it sucks, I don't want to walk out. My father would pay $2 to see a movie and would hate it and wouldn't leave tonight. God damn, mother's great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He waited till it came to the theater. You know where. There's one theater in Bergen county where the movies would come late and so they'd be like two bucks.

[B]

Yeah. All right, let's get back to.

[A]

Yeah. So, you know, but if I don't have to practice the cello eight hours a day, I can do. You know, I might want to do some of these kind of things live. That's kind of an interesting option that people do nowadays, you know, and then it's kind of an event

[B]

interesting, you know? Yeah. It's not crazy.

[A]

It's not crazy.

[B]

It's not crazy. I mean, the landscape of the business, which is one of the things I love about the business is everybody's like, what is going on? You know, what do we do? What are we supposed to do? What's so and so doing? Why is he doing that? Should I do that? I love that endless grind. Everybody is always haranguing. Everybody's always on the phone, you know.

[A]

You mean, like, what's happening in the business?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see what so. And so did. What'd you think of that?

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Right. Streaming and, you know, and I think

[B]

perhaps for you, for whatever feels right for you at this point is what's right.

[A]

But that's after 40 years. That's why I don't want to, like, make an announcement. This is my final. Because I might change my mind. I might. It might be like cutting off a limb, and I have to go back to it.

[B]

How do you view the show? How do you view real time? And, you know, how old are you now? 60 something?

[A]

Jerry. I'm right. Always hot on your heels.

[B]

Well, whatever it is.

[A]

Always a year and a half behind you, whatever it is.

[B]

Do you ever look forward or do you stay focused?

[A]

Only forward.

[B]

Only forward. But, I mean, do you think, you know, maybe another five and.

[A]

No, I can't.

[B]

Debbie. The Lorne Michaels line. I asked him how much longer you think you'll do snl. He says, you know, I think it'll get to the point that I'll feel like I'm slowing down, and I don't have the same edge. I don't have the same enthusiasm for it. And he says, when I get to that point, I'll do five more years. And I love that answer. I love that answer. I would love for us to compare notes. Who is more addicted to show business, you or me? Because I love it to death today as much as even more. Everything else in life for me has fallen away, has gone gray. I mean, I loved having kids, and that whole side of my life has been great. But you always have to say that, you know? But if you're just talking about work. Let's just talk about work and Chiron at Joe. You know, I love show business as much today as ever, if not more, because I tried every other goddamn thing.

[A]

But you say you don't love show business. You love standup.

[B]

That's show business.

[A]

I know, but it's that one aspect again. You're such a minimalist. You're so direct with everything that everything peels away, no extra things. And that's you. That's why I think you will do it till you drop.

[B]

I will. I will.

[A]

And maybe I will, too. I don't know. It's a tough decision. But I also feel like it's easy as you get older to not do new things, and that's what keeps you young. I think that's part of the reason I want to do this, definitely. Because, look, when we're doing a podcast, if you said to me 10 years ago, even the big thing in show business is going to be basically AM radio.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I would have said, you're crazy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And yet, I mean, you talk about too many people at the beginning of the marathon, clogging the road.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I mean, there's like 4 million podcasts

[B]

in America, but no one's doing this one.

[A]

I know, but it'd be like if Johnny Carson, when we watched him, had, you know, 4 million, like late night shows that people had that they, you know, maybe only 500 watch this one and a thousand watch this one. But his ratings, cumulatively, all those tiny ants sucking a little bit away would have left him not with 17 million, which he had at his height, but, you know, something much more modest. That's the problem with so many podcasts.

[B]

No.

[A]

Why?

[B]

First of all, you're doing the thing that you hate the most, which is moving people around in chronology. If Johnny Carson was. Forget that. We're here now. You're you. We're here now. It doesn't matter what he would have done or. What matters is this makes.

[A]

Go ahead, finish your point.

[B]

Oh, my God, what year is that?

[A]

1979. Oh, Carson must stay. Can you. What a baller. He was. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, just to like have the headlines like about what you. But you're right, he would not. I mean, as great as he was, he would not survive today. He was just. That show breathed way too much for the current audience. Right. I know. Yes. I.

[B]

Who cares? The world wouldn't make him today. They don't make those guys anymore. They don't make George C. Scott anymore.

[A]

You know, what loomed large in our world even as late as 1964. Cause it was 20 years after. But World War II was like my childhood. I look back, it was like everything. My parents were in it. The TV shows were about it. Hogan's Heroes and McHale's Navy and Combat.

[B]

And didn't you kind of feel. Also as a kid? I just missed it.

[A]

I mean, it was when I played Army, I played World War II, and there was no nuance to it. We were good, they were bad.

[B]

Yeah. And, you know, it was like a big hug musical. That's what World War II was. Here's a musical for everyone, you know? Yeah.

[A]

And everyone was involved in it. Like, nobody was ever like, yeah, I'm just doing something different these days, World War II.

[B]

But anyway, I'm still not quite to the essence of why it feels right to you to not do it anymore. I don't know because it's the cello and are you. That's part of travel and travel writing. How much time?

[A]

How do you know I love it?

[B]

How do you do a TV show and do any stand up stuff?

[A]

I mean, I'm not married, no kids. My. All my time is mine.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So that's. That's one way I like that. I mean, you know me, I think we're very similar to this. I love the tinkering. I love the. I put that word in front of this thing and I move this over here. It's like putting together a Rubik's Cube.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

And I move this here. And now it all fits. You know, for six months it was good, but now it's great because. And I feel bad for those audiences that last six months because, like. But it's same way in a relationship, I always felt like, oh, if I only knew what I learned on her. Yeah, with you, it would have been a lot better.

[B]

With you.

[A]

Yes, but I can't, you know, we can't reverse time.

[B]

But you didn't answer my question about real time.

[A]

What was that?

[B]

Which is. Do you think of how many years? First of all, you're at it 20. How many? 25 years, real time, starting with politically incorrect.

[A]

Well, that's 31.

[B]

Okay, 31. That counts.

[A]

Oh, I know, I know, I know.

[B]

What do you think?

[A]

Well, I certainly wouldn't want to quit now because I feel like I'm at the top of my game.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And lots of people tell me that. And that's why I put out this book, Jerry. I signed it to you also. But, you know, I have a book.

[B]

How'd you do that?

[A]

The strike.

[B]

With the same glasses, even the strike. It's amazing.

[A]

The strike.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

I had five months to. And it's just. It's all the editorials we do at the end.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That I put together in a way that made sense. I put a lot of work into this.

[B]

I'm sure you did.

[A]

Shut up. But I think what standup is for you is what writing that editorial at the end of the show is for me.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

That's what.

[B]

Well, that piece, I never, ever miss. Oh, thank you for the writing, for the flow of it. The consistency is shocking. Your level of consistency is shocking. And it's the best comedy monologue every week that anyone does. And you even make a point on top of being funny, which is, you

[A]

know, usually a point no one else is making.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's. I mean, it's very easy. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I mean, this is Christmas morning for me now. But I mean, other shows I feel like are partisan one way or the other. I rarely hear a thought that I haven't heard anywhere else. You know, they will amplify it and get. But their audience doesn't want to. The audience just mostly wants to hear what they already believe and they want. Yes, Trump's an asshole. And Trump is an asshole. And I certainly have done my share of jokes about that. But I'm always trying to say something that's not breaking a new story, but breaking a new way of looking at a news story.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And, you know, consider this. And.

[B]

Oh, it's just fantastic.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

It's fantastic.

[A]

Well, I appreciate it.

[B]

And you know, you know what? I don't know, like, when you would go on Larry King, that was always so great.

[A]

Yeah, I loved that.

[B]

It was great, that show. Don't you think there's a hole for that show?

[A]

I think it's Joe Rogan. I think Joe Rogan. What, you just put your hands up like.

[B]

No, what I'm getting at is what was I thought special about that show was it was 9 o' clock every night at 9 o', clock, Larry King was gonna be sitting with someone who could probably be of interest.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And that was a great tv. That was great tv. The set I thought was. I loved the multicolored dots, the blackness. You know, not like he was the greatest interviewer in the world, but he was good.

[A]

Well, but that's why I compared him to Joe Rogan. Cause they're both minimalists. Both of them do zero research by their own admission.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like it's a. They just. I think Joe would say the same thing. Larry said, I want to be the audience. I want to be the guy who knows nothing about you.

[B]

I know, but he's on for three and a half hours. Larry King is, you know, it's on at nine. You're wandering around the house, you're looking for something to do. Who's on? Larry King.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That was. That was a great thing. I can't believe they haven't tried to replace that. I don't know who would do it, but.

[A]

Well, they did. Piers Morgan did it for a minute.

[B]

Yeah. He wasn't right.

[A]

I don't think it's the fact that there's nobody right for it. I think it's the fact that the audience is different. I mean, we don't have. That was one of the last shows. Well, it wasn't really a hearth Show. But like, in our.

[B]

It was. It was a hearth show.

[A]

Okay, so like in our youth, but not to the level like in our youth, like, when there was three channels and all the new shows were in that issue of TV Guide. Like, the family had a communal experience with television. Don Rickles, you know, we all remember all. Like, it was an event when he was on the Tonight show, especially in the summer when we could stay up. The famous one where he threw him in the Japanese bath. Memories, getting the massage. I mean, it was.

[B]

It was amazing, that throw, by the way, that he was able to do that.

[A]

Why are you saying it was.

[B]

It was quite a jujitsu that he.

[A]

Oh, Johnny threw him.

[B]

Yeah, when Johnny threw him in there.

[A]

Johnny was a mean bastard. And, like, don't fuck with Johnny. I mean, that's the other thing about Johnny was. I mean, he was. He could be terrible to people, but what.

[B]

Everyone at that level should be terrible to people.

[A]

No, you don't mean that. I don't mean that. You're not terrible to people.

[B]

I'm not. I'm not. But when you hear someone is. I can't believe anybody thinks anything of it.

[A]

I think there's levels to it, and I don't think everybody is. I think he was just. Especially when he drank. I mean, he just had a really mean side to him. And, I mean, he could close off. I read that biography by Bushkin, remember, Bombastic Bushkin, and I felt it was so true. I don't know. It's true. But everything I know about Johnny, and it wasn't kissing his ass and it wasn't covering anything up, you know, he said he was just as cold as that. His mother was like, yes, he was very cold to him.

[B]

But in a way, it made it easier to watch him. I can't watch people that want me to fill that need for them. I can't do it.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

They're exhausting.

[A]

I totally agree.

[B]

Just a bombastic Bushkin. Don't you think that that joke was his intense jealousy of Dr. Vinnie boom bots? Rodney's great doctor. I think Carson loved that joke so much, he wanted his own. And of course, he would steal when

[A]

he steal when it suited him. I'm telling you, that's what I mean. He was just a badass. He broke into his wife's apartment. You know that.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

That's in the book. It's like when they were going through the divorce.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I mean, like, did really badass things. The road to the NBA finals ends here with star guard setting the tone. The Cavs eye another upset while the Knicks carry the dreams of all of New York. The eastern conference finals continue on espn and abc. Pool days call for cookouts and lots of laundry this Memorial Day at Lowe's. Save $80 on a Char Broil Performance Series 4 burner gas grill now just $199 plus get up to 45% off. Select major appliances to keep dishes, clothes and food fresh. Having fun in the sun is easy with us in your corner. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's, valid through 527, while supplies last selection varies by location. See associate or lowe's.com for details.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Redfin. You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and own a home with agents who close twice as many deals. When you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it. Get [e-mail]. own the dream.

[B]

I don't know if that's badass. It's just bad.

[A]

Yeah, well, I'm just saying, you don't fuck around with him. And yes, I do, remember? What'd you say? What did he do?

[B]

That bombastic bushkin was.

[A]

I wish he was a thief.

[B]

He loved Dr. Vinny Boom Boss.

[A]

But he stole the Answer man from

[B]

Steve Alle and he stole Maud Frickert from. From Winters. Yeah, we know. It was horrible. And then he would have them on the show.

[A]

Yeah, what they could do. He was the king. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not saying it was admirable, but I guess, you know, that Persona kind of he was Mr. He was gracious, you know, that was what was Johnny's calling card. But boy, when that light. Red light went off, I don't think he was that guy.

[B]

Did you have little interactions with him in the hallway, Evan?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Wasn't that the most exciting thing in the world when you would see him coming down the hall with the tie down?

[A]

Didn't have me tell you the story, but when I saw him the last time I did it, and Leno was about to take over, and I'm walking out and he's in his car. He had like a Corvette.

[B]

Yeah, the Corvette.

[A]

And it wouldn't start. And I said, boy, I bet you Leno knows everything about cars. I bet you he'd Know what to do.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

And he looked up and he went, yeah, we'll see how much he knows about television. I'm telling you, he was a bad man.

[B]

Yeah, well, these guys, you know, they're not. It's not a coincidence that they're there. All these guys, whether politically, entertainment industry, corporate world, a lot of people are there for a reason.

[A]

I feel like a late night host is always a reflection of the society that we live in. Better than a lot of other signposts. I mean, like, that's why Leno was right for his era and Johnny was right for his era.

[B]

And what do we have now? We have Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert and

[A]

Jimmy Fallon, I think are right for

[B]

their era in that.

[A]

Why, look at this. Here's a.

[B]

Oh, new breed of stand up comics. What's that?

[A]

Oh, these are the two articles that were in the New York Times.

[B]

Am I in any of those?

[A]

You probably are. Here's Adrian Tolsch with a Catch a Rising Star T shirt.

[B]

I have a Catch a Rising Star T shirt that I wear all the time.

[A]

It still fits.

[B]

I. It's a new one.

[A]

Because I hear when you watch them, they make lovely hand puppets for the children.

[B]

Oh, my God, Bill. I know Calvin Fussman.

[A]

Calvin Fussman? Who's that?

[B]

He's the writer of this ridiculous. Why are you keeping this? Just cause it's comedy in the day. You know what?

[A]

Every year in my life, I make a file where I just put stuff in because I like to be a good caveman. Like if I want to go back and excavate and see who I was, it's one good thing. I did make so many dumb errors, but that was pretty smart. Like, I saved, like, look at that MAD magazine cover.

[B]

I love that. I saw that cover.

[A]

Aren't you glad? Aren't you glad I saved this from the Supremes album?

[B]

No.

[A]

No. You don't think that's cool?

[B]

I wasn't missing that.

[A]

You don't think that's cool?

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

Be honest. Jerry, come on. Come out of your shell.

[B]

Yeah, I went through all of my stuff recently, the New Breed, and threw out almost all of it.

[A]

Of course you did, because that's you and I'm me. Because.

[B]

And I thought. I don't. My kids don't care what I did. I even thought that.

[A]

Aren't you glad I kept the world Fair thing?

[B]

Yeah. You never know which is going to be the one, right?

[A]

I think these are all good.

[B]

No, some of them are good.

[A]

What about this from Richard Belzer.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

First of all, it's Daily Planet from the desk of super comic Richard Belzer.

[B]

Oh, wow. Now, it's a great shot of him, by the way.

[A]

It's just too much.

[B]

When I play the Beacon, I always ask the audience. I talk about how I started in New York at a club called Catch a Rising Star. How many of you remember it? And that moment, Bill, it's like about 10% of the audience will applaud. It's a great moment. I just love that. Remember how cool that joint was? But so much fun to just share that for a second.

[A]

But isn't it a little sad that. Well, and look what he wrote.

[B]

A little no to potential. Tremendously sad.

[A]

To potentially one of the great. That's funny, Belzer.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

I think he was talking about himself, but. But I think it's Sad that only 10 of the people. Well, you know what?

[B]

Come on.

[A]

You're right. You're right. You know what?

[B]

Let it all go.

[A]

No, I do like it. But I must say, bad memories do not make me sad. Good memories make me sad. Oh, you know, bad memories, it's like, great, it's over, right? Good memories, it's like, shit, we'll never have that again, you know?

[B]

Right? No, we'll never have anything again.

[A]

You seem more at peace with that.

[B]

I am. I am.

[A]

I know.

[B]

You know what I came to the other day because I'm going through this thing with the movie, you know, and you're doing a lot of press and. And they're watching the movie and they're responding to it, you know, and it hit me the other morning. An insincere compliment is absolutely of equal value as a totally genuine compliment. There is no difference in value. They're both utterly meaningless and just as nice. An insincere compliment is just as nice. I don't care if they're lying to my face. It doesn't matter what they think anyway.

[A]

What the fuck are you talking about? This is ridiculous. I gave you a very wonderful compliment, I think, and it came from me, and it's very sincere and it's true about you. That's gotta mean more than an insincere compliment.

[B]

Not in that situation where you're meeting strangers and they're saying, oh, I loved your movie. Great. That's great. That's just as great. I don't have to know, really.

[A]

Did you really give me that rabbit thing back?

[B]

A compliment from you who knows me?

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

That's Different.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

That's different.

[A]

I hope so.

[B]

I'm talking about 90% of the things people tell you in show business are not true and not sincere.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

And that's okay.

[A]

And even when they. I shouldn't even admit this. It makes me sound petty. But. But I think all show people are the same. Sometimes people will give you a compliment and you still don't like it because it's like. Yeah, but you noticed the wrong thing.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You liked the show, but you thought that was the best part of it. Yes. And it's like you can't.

[B]

Teddy doesn't even describe how small minded that is. I don't know. Is what's below petty, whatever that adjective would be.

[A]

You don't feel. You never felt that way?

[B]

No. Really? No. Take what you like, whatever you like. What do I care what you like?

[A]

All right, then why do you keep arguing when I say you're more mature. More mature than I like to argue? I know. Good.

[B]

I don't even believe what I'm taking.

[A]

We're not even arguing. But. Yeah, no, that's true. I feel like I've evolved a long way, but I started really far back.

[B]

Way far back. Yeah.

[A]

It's true. I didn't. I didn't want to talk about that. Oh, here, look at this. No. I always thought.

[B]

This is so funny, all this crap you brought on here.

[A]

Tell me you're not enjoying this.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

No.

[B]

You said to tell me, so I did. It's a get smart joke.

[A]

Look at this. My father was in radio.

[B]

I know, right?

[A]

Mutual Broadcasting System. This is when the media was respected by this country because these were mutual men of.

[B]

Mutual men. So where's your dad? Is he in here?

[A]

Right here. Look, right here. Bill Maher.

[B]

Your dad.

[A]

Mutual men of conviction.

[B]

Bill Maher.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Well, that explains a lot. I think we've cracked this case wide open.

[A]

Right here. Mutual men of conviction. Isn't that awesome?

[B]

He doesn't resemble you much.

[A]

Look at you. Can't see it. It's a drawing.

[B]

So that's not what he looked like.

[A]

He didn't look like that.

[B]

But, you know, you're very handsome. He looks kind of.

[A]

I don't know. Are we looking at him?

[B]

Stangish.

[A]

It's a drawing from this creeps who made this thing.

[B]

Men of conviction. So were these guys staff announcers, but they weren't journalists.

[A]

Well, I think they would consider themselves journalists, Jerry. They had deep voices and they were on the radio and.

[B]

Does your dad have a Deep voice. You have a deep voice.

[A]

Of course. Yeah, of course he did. When he took me to the radio station, you know, once in a while I'd be like, scared the shit out of me. Because they all. Hello, young man. Nel Sharbert. I mean, look at some of these names. Whitney Belton. Charles. Charles Bachelder. Bill Costello was good, as was Jack Allen and Martin Edwards.

[B]

You know, I did a little shtick. We made a couple of little video promotion pieces for the movie, and one is where I'm called into the office of the president of Pop Tarts. So I needed a name for who would be the president of Pop Tarts. And we came up with Kelman P. Gasworth. He says, I'm Kelvin P. Gasworth, the president of Pop Tarts. And I'm sitting at the end of this long conference table and I go, oh, I just made a whole movie about pop draws. He goes, well, did you know?

[A]

I can't wait to see this movie.

[B]

It's fun.

[A]

It comes out on Friday. So it's funny because when I read about this, I thought, it's both you making a movie about pop charts. It's both inscrutable and inevitable.

[B]

Like, that is a great line. That's a great line.

[A]

Really, like you were going, and I just want to know before I see it, or maybe you don't want to say this, but then just don't. But, like, but what is the metaphor? I mean, plainly, it can't just be about Pop Tarts.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. No, no, it's. It's quite a deep story, Bill, but

[A]

it has to be a metaphor for something.

[B]

You got me.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What, again? We're not like the serial killer and the detective. We're not really alike.

[B]

No, it's. I like important seeming men in suits. Like those names you're talking about puffs and flakes and sprinkles in a very serious way. That, to me, was funny. I like. It's about. It really is about a childhood fantasy and wanting to hang on to your childhood and that time and that product and to make this movie, I get to go back there. I get to go back to when the only thing I cared about was the stingray and my cereal and the TV shows that I liked. And that was. That was. You know, it was like a little soap bubble that I got to get inside for a few weeks.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I have that inclination, but our childhood is now just so long ago.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, but the fun of it is still there.

[A]

I know.

[B]

So with the movie, you get to

[A]

recreate it, but you don't.

[B]

You don't get to really go there.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

But.

[A]

But you don't have intimations of mortality when you dwell on the distant past like that, that it reminds you that you're closer to the end.

[B]

I'm not that in love with, like, you want. You really love life, don't you love it? It's okay.

[A]

Oh, come on now. Your life.

[B]

Oh, I. I.

[A]

Cause, like, when I knew this was your birthday, and I was like, I bet you he's the same place with birthdays that I am, which is like, I had a big party here right in this room at 60. You had one at 65 after that. Like, yeah, it's happening, but we don't need to go into it at all. I mean, sometimes people. Mine's in January. Sometimes people say to me, a couple weeks after, they say, oh, didn't you just have a birthday? And I go, you know, maybe. I don't know. I might have. I didn't check my calendar. I didn't check my calendar, you know, because it's just like, it's happening. I can't deny it. But let's just ignore it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's at a certain point, because you'd still look generically late middle age, which is great. You know, you don't read old.

[B]

No, neither do you.

[A]

Like, Biden.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, reads old, and Trump reads crazy, but not old, you know?

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

He reads. He just reads differently.

[B]

Well, he's got a lot of makeup on, you know, a lot. And the hair color and all that.

[A]

Yeah. I always say he's like, kiss. He puts on face paint and the wig, and it's always 1976.

[B]

That is fantastic. That's a great joke. That is a great joke. He's like, Kiss.

[A]

But, yeah, so we could probably. I mean, Mick Jagger is doing it at 80, doing rock shows.

[B]

Okay. No, I'm saying it's amazing. It's amazing.

[A]

But I'm saying, if a guy can do rock and roll at 80, certainly comedy.

[B]

What do you think you'll be doing at 80?

[A]

I hope very similar to what I'm doing now.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes, I would love to. I only in my 60s came to realize how right my mother was when I'm. When she once said to me, yeah, I really like my 50s and 60s, the best of all the decades. I said, that's crazy. 60s? What, are you fucking nuts?

[B]

Yeah, but their 60s is our 80s, physically. I mean, I don't have. I don't do anything different now than I did in my 40s. I could do any number of shows. I could go exactly right. I don't. I haven't made any adjustments.

[A]

I. Same way. But I imagine, I mean, there's a diminishment to everything.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I mean, you know, I can still play basketball, but.

[B]

Yeah, you know, that's amazing. That's amazing.

[A]

And you know, I mean, but yeah, you.

[B]

I think you maybe have a little tighter grip on this lifetime than. Than I do.

[A]

It is what it is. All you can ever be is good for your age. But as far as how far you can go, I feel like I'm. And you are too, for a somewhat different reason, uniquely suited to another decade. Because I never was selling I can dance, I can jump around. I was selling wisdom and sophistication. I mean, that's why HBO has been such a good home for me. It's a sophisticated audience. It's a sophisticated show. I mean, that word. Maybe I'm not putting that on myself, but yeah, that is what I strive for. And the audience is a sophisticated audience. And there's precious little left for people who are sophisticated. That's a genre.

[B]

That's a niche, but it's always been a small niche.

[A]

Yes, always. Yes, that's what I'm saying. You have a much broader, you know,

[B]

somewhat broader, but majorly broader.

[A]

That's one. Another reason why I'm probably not gonna do any more standup is because, like, first of all, when you're on TV every week, it's very hard for people to come out and, you know, it's harder to get that you're less unique. Also, they tend to think I'm a political comic, which is limiting.

[B]

Oh, right.

[A]

So like, there's guys who are like, not half as funny as me selling twice as many tickets. I'm a little sick of it. Not that I can't do nice shows in theaters, but it's like I've always been fighting a little uphill on those.

[B]

Uh huh huh. I see.

[A]

I think your standup is my editorial. That's what I want to do till they put me in the grave is every week come up with that one thing. And you know, because it's almost Seinfeldian, because it's building one very small, limited, but trying to perfectly craft it, and then it's over.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, next week there's a new one. And on Monday, I, you know, I mean, I will we nail down the premise before the weekend. And on Monday, you know, I read all the passes and put it together, you know.

[B]

Right.

[A]

My own version. And then, you know, sew it together. And each day, first it gets fatter, then it gets smaller. You know, there's a method to it to show you that by Friday. I love it.

[B]

That would be a vacation. That for me, if you would. If I would just sit with you and not contribute, but just watch you do that, that would entertain me more than any trip to anywhere in the world. Because I think. I don't know how you do it, but the end result is so elegant. And that is what I love and appreciate more than anything. It's simplicity and elegance in writing.

[A]

Thank you. Me too.

[B]

And of course, getting the job done comedically. Yeah, we got to do all those three things right in the piece.

[A]

Right.

[B]

When that is executed, I mean, I just feel full of music. It's. I just love it. And I, you know, we're so lucky that, you know, I do think sometimes I watch great pitchers, great athletes, and I think, oh, this guy's only going to get 12 years of this to be able to play this music.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And outside a huge career for a pitcher. Right. But for us, if they told us you can only do this 12 years, it's ridiculous. Musicians, does it bother you? You're very, very sophisticated musically and you had all those Paul Simon lyrics in your head. Was amazing. But what's your theory, And I know you have one on why these great, great, great songwriters are not able to find that thing in their later years.

[A]

Too many drugs.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

No, but too many drugs. Partly. But also I just think it's innate. Music is something that flowers in youth.

[B]

I mean, don't you think music is sexual?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

If you're not horny, you can't write a great song.

[A]

Well. Oh, that's ridiculous.

[B]

That's ridiculous.

[A]

Yeah, that's. We could. Not all songs are about sex.

[B]

Yes, they are.

[A]

Everyone. Oh, stop it.

[B]

But what is your theory on older songwriters struggling to find that same magic?

[A]

I couldn't agree more. First of all, it's rare and I'm not gonna name names. No, there are exceptions to that, but they are rare. I thought the Eagles 2007 album was really good. Yeah, was like. Could fit in. It was a double album. If you made it into like just one kick ass album, it would be. Fit in there. Oeuvre pretty well.

[B]

But there are people that we love desperately. Love desperately, that write stuff now that is.

[A]

And have for 25 years not been good.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because part of it, I think is you get too Ahead of the parade. Like, you always want to be, like, a little ahead of the audience, right? Otherwise, you're over, but not so far ahead. They're like, what?

[B]

Right?

[A]

And I think sometimes you're so good that, like, oh, I've done that. And this would be different. It's like, yeah, but I just want to, you know, you got to hit that sweet spot where it's striking me as something a little different but not so alien that me, just the young man in the 22nd row, can't appreciate it because I'm not a musician. I could just appreciate what you do. So it's, I guess, the equivalent of being like a comics comic who, you know, makes the other comics laugh.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And, you know, I always felt like that was what you. Like, I always felt you had catch. Like, you always had kind of an attitude about catch. Like, this is a shiny object. Cause it was the hot club, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You didn't. You weren't the man at the hot club. You were at the comics. The hot club was Belzer, and it was the hot club because, like, that's where the. The stars went and the celebrities went and the mafia was there. And it was just, you know, singers and bells are. And I think you were just like, okay, enjoy your shiny object. Because I'm going to just do what I do, which isn't quite as flamboyant as some of this other stuff going on. And I will be the bigger star because I'm going to be on television, which is a cool medium perfectly suited to me.

[B]

I never.

[A]

I bet. So I read that on you, and it was.

[B]

Well, you can read it. But I never thought. Thought it or felt it, but it

[A]

turned out to be true.

[B]

Yeah, well, you have an amazing eye for those kinds of things. I just. In those days, Bill, I wasn't.

[A]

But I just felt like you. The fact that it was ill suited to your exact Persona.

[B]

It was.

[A]

Was to your credit because, again, that wasn't what was gonna make you a star. Jumping around on the piano and all that. Same with the comedy star out here. A lot of stuff that looks great in a small club, but there are those. You had your eye on the prize.

[B]

I did. I did. And when I would see those, sometimes they would come to the comic strip and struggle, and I would realize, oh, they're out of context and it's not working. And that's not what this game's about. This game is about, put me in any context and I'll make it work.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's the bigger Game to play.

[A]

Yes. You and I had an argument many times about like, is there such a thing as a bad crowd?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And I, of course, took the position.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

When they don't like me, they're bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you took the position again. More mature goofus. And gallant. Always gallant. Believes. And you're right in.

[B]

There's no right. It's just. It's just a sport you're playing.

[A]

It's a better attitude to have that, you know, you were like.

[B]

But you're also right. Of course there's breadcrumbs.

[A]

Yes. But you once said, of course they're in a bad mood. Why do you think they're at a comedy club? You're the doctor. They don't come to the doctor when they.

[B]

When they feel well. Yeah, right. So that's funny.

[A]

It's another piece of advice I remembered and put into practice a mere 17 years later. No, I got around everything. It just. Some people just takes a long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, what about.

[B]

I mean, everybody's. Who cares?

[A]

See, this is not why. You're not afraid of dying. Everything that comes into your head is. Who cares? It's not that. But you.

[B]

I mean, don't you feel that changing? I mean, I'm 70 and I really feel things changing in my perspective. Names I have. Who is this singer? All these things, even politics, even social movements. I'm reading a lot of Marcus Aurelius.

[A]

Have you ever read that in college? Absolutely.

[B]

You should pick it up again. It's really great.

[A]

Meditations. What's it called?

[B]

Meditations.

[A]

Right. He was the Roman emperor in 18150

[B]

AD and he is a fantastic guy to get you to zoom out and go. All these things you're worried about, all these things that you see happening. They've all happened before. They're all going to happen again. Everything that you're worried about is much smaller than it is that you make it in your head. That's his basic message. And being told that by the emperor of Rome in 150-AD is a very nice daily. I read it almost every day. I'll read a page or two. And I love to imagine him in his bedroom there, the leader of the entire world, an emperor. A Roman emperor. And say, yes, you're going to talk to a lot of annoying people today. That's what every day is like. Why are you surprised? People are annoying.

[A]

I like to imagine the peasants of 150 AD. Hey, did you hear the emperor As a new dractive treaties out. Great. I can't Wait to pick it up. He was like the Sam Harris of his day. He had the morning meditation and. Yeah. By the way, if people want to have an image of who Marcus Aurelius is, think of the movie Gladiator.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was played by Peter O.

[B]

I thought it was Joaquin Phoenix.

[A]

He played the sun. Marcus grew up son who kills his father.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Kills Marcus Aurelius in the beginning.

[B]

Well, not in real life, though.

[A]

I think he did.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. He died of natural causes in his 50s.

[A]

You know a lot about Marcus Aurelius.

[B]

I'm kind of into him these days.

[A]

That's amazing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't think I'd ever hear that from you.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Well, just because you didn't seem like a history buff and that.

[B]

I'm not really, but I do. I love philosophy and I love his philosophy, and I just find it helpful. I like shrinking things down.

[A]

Yes, you do. Yes, you do. And you do it better than anybody.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

I mean, I always say that about you. Like, the act that, like, every single person can love and the most intelligent person in the room is also not insulted by it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that's a. I feel like excellence is always getting to that golden mean of, like, the two things that are in opposition, but somehow you bring them together.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Well, that's what I'm. I think you might find that in Unfrosted. The Pop Tarp Movie. It's a silly idea for a movie, but. And the jokes are silly. But as we know, there are no silly jokes. They're either good or they're not. And you'll find there's a level of sophistication in the silliness that is my ultimate. When I first saw Monty Python when I was a kid on PBS in the early 70s, I lost my mind. The sophisticated silliness that they were doing absolutely lit me up. Like, this is everything that I want, everything that I love. I think Get Smart had that. I think Peter Sellars had that. He's acting dumb, but there is such a sophistication to it because as we know as comedians, acting dumb is really not. You know, Laurel and Hardy are not stupid.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

I wasn't a Stooges guy, but Laurel and Hardy is elegant and sophisticated.

[A]

You were not a Stooges guy?

[B]

No, no, I didn't like Mo. I don't think he's funny. Curly. He was carrying the whole damn show.

[A]

But we were five.

[B]

No, not. I wasn't. I watched comedians when I was five years old. Going, this guy's got.

[A]

Did you watch. Did you watch Officer Joe Bolton?

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Okay. Didn't he introduce the Three Stooges? Wasn't that his.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he had the Stooges. I watched it.

[A]

And Superman also.

[B]

No, they didn't have Superman. They had those movie shorts.

[A]

Superman just Stood by itself.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that was the film.

[A]

Oh, I remember.

[B]

I mean. Yeah. And still pretty good, by the way. I've been watching that lately. To me, George Reeves is the greatest Superman of all time. His sophistication and those double breasted suits. That's another reason I wanted to do unfrosted. I wanted to look like George Reeves. Did you like that Superman show? When they would close the door, the suit would shake.

[A]

What? I lived for it. You know this. Really, When I was a kid. Yeah, I remember in high school. I wish I found. I probably have that somewhere in my Rat Pack file. But we made a list of every episode that we could remember. Like there was probably a hundred episodes.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I remember all the episodes. We've talked about it. Caborium X. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I got to do a commercial with Jack Larson and Noel Neal in, I think.

[A]

Yes, I remember it. Yes. Yeah, the American Express thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I know.

[B]

Gigantic thrill.

[A]

And your bit, that was, you know, one of those. One of your first ones. The class is a brilliant disguise. It was like. That is so you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then somebody else had a great bit about. It's a bird. It's a plane. Who mistakes a bird with a plane? Whose joke is that?

[B]

No, no, no, I heard that. That's a good one, too. Yeah.

[A]

It's like a perfect example of that. Like it was laying there on the ground.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anybody could have seen it. Yeah, right.

[B]

I have a Frankenstein bit I'm doing now about the sport jacket. Why is he wearing a sport jacket?

[A]

That's great.

[B]

It's an AI bit. It's a part of an AI Bit about making fake brains is risky. We can see that from Frankenstein.

[A]

Oh, that's funny. That's a great joke. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

And he goes, well, I thought maybe we'd go someplace nice afterwards. No, it's Romania in 1820. There's no place nice. No one's gonna say to you, I'm sorry, Mr. Stein, it's jackets only this evening.

[A]

That's hysterical. That's funny. I talk about monsters now with, you know, the toxic masculinity that they're always talking about. It's true. Men are toxic.

[B]

What are we talking about when you

[A]

say men have Been ruined by the phone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And pornography, you know, and it's rapey. It's. It's domineering. It's not. You know, it's just. And this is what young men see. You know, when. When I was. When we were kids, it was. If you had a Playboy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That was huge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now they see horrible things.

[B]

You know, I can't imagine.

[A]

Choking and spanking.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

What? What?

[B]

That's horrible.

[A]

I know. I mean, what these kids are. When you think about how innocent our childhood was.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The level of innocence is just like, from a different. What?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. And we can't fix it, Bill. They broke it.

[A]

Why do you think I'm always trying to fix it? I'm just. There's a difference between trying to remedy something and just being amazed by it. I talk like age fascinates me, and people say, oh, don't worry about it. I'm not worried about it. I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated by different generations. I'm fascinated by how different. The difference is that I could see in my lifetime.

[B]

Right. I know I said to my mother one time, who passed about 10 years ago at the age of 99, and I remember asking her one time, do you remember when cars suddenly became popular? She said, oh, yeah, yeah. My mother, when she was born, there was no cars around.

[A]

When my mother was born, women couldn't vote.

[B]

Right.

[A]

1919. Women got the vote in 1920.

[B]

Right. I say to my kids. Your kids are gonna say to you. You mean they let people just get in cars and go as fast as they wanted? Yeah, for the most part. I mean, there were laws, but people did pretty much whatever they want.

[A]

My grandma didn't.

[B]

They crash and die all the time?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, well, and children died often. You know, they get kicked by a horse on the farm and, you know, that's why they had a lot of kids. They expected a few of them to.

[B]

So better or worse, the way we value life today, or the way we were more casual, much more casual about it in years past?

[A]

I mean, it's so easy to say, oh, you know, back there. Please. We are so seduced by. And I am, as much as anyone, by creature comforts and convenience.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

No, I don't. With all the bullsh going on. We live in the most amazing fucking times.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I mean, the climate change is probably going to get us at some point, but it hasn't yet.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We walked out here today, we weren't like, evaporated by the rays of the sun or something. I mean, we. It was a beautiful day. The grass is green, the sky is blue.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's really not. There's lots of things going on behind the scenes that are horrible, blah, blah, blah. But we're still living in that time where we're basically, you know, yes, health certainly can rear its ugly head, and there's lots of poisons everywhere and lots of terrible things, and Trump could do this, and democracy and blah, blah, blah, nuclear war. But for the moment, you know when I'm sitting at dinner with people and they're like, the world's ending. Look around you, you fuck you, dumbass. We're at this fucking awesome restaurant. They're bringing you this food. It's probably gonna. This dinner's gonna cost $700. You're not even gonna fucking blink at paying the check. Shut the fuck up about how terrible things is when they're gonna. I'm not gonna lose my nervous system about Trump again. If he ends the world, he's gonna end the world. I'm not gonna go nuts again if he wins another term. I just can't.

[B]

I, I, I hope you, you have that wherewithal.

[A]

Well, what are you gonna do?

[B]

I don't know. I'm trying to stay right there.

[A]

Yes. Or you can get anxious like a millennial.

[B]

No, right, exactly. That, that, that.

[A]

I mean, that generation, especially the Z generation. But your kid, I mean, your kids are great.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I mean, I think with great parenting, you can still make great kids. Sure.

[B]

Well, you don't really make them. You have a hand in it.

[A]

You're like the manager.

[B]

Yeah, you're the manager. You give them advice, they take it. They don't take it.

[A]

No. Like the manager of a team, they say, a good manager. A good manager, six to eight games a year.

[B]

That's right. That's right.

[A]

You think that's all a parent can do?

[B]

I have no idea.

[A]

But wait, you raised three kids.

[B]

It's mostly what you didn't do wrong, really bad stuff, but mostly the way we were raised. You were kind of left to your own devices, and you're in a fairly healthy environment, and hopefully you make decent choices. And the same is true today.

[A]

I remember that night, you and Chris Rock were in my dressing room before the show, and I asked him something, you guys, something about, oh, your kids, do they play together? And you both went, bill. The wives handled that. And I got. Okay, I see.

[B]

Yeah. I have the most amazing wife. I really love my wife. I got to a point with my wife now that I can't believe how great she is because I can't really say that. But, you know, I mean, in the single world, it always runs out of gas. And I found a woman where it never runs out. I'm always excited to see her.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

We always have fun. I love talking with her and it's fun. It's fun, but it's. It's. Again, it's a little bit of luck, or maybe it's instinct, I don't know.

[A]

But are you an empty nester now?

[B]

Not yet. My son is finishing high school.

[A]

But you will be?

[B]

I will be in a few months, yeah.

[A]

And is that a big changeover?

[B]

That's what people say, but Justin and I are. We feel we're good.

[A]

So it must be a. It's gotta be a big difference without the sound of children frolicking.

[B]

But Bill, all these things,

[A]

what I feel like you're going back to like, thinking that I somehow ruin the passage of time and I'm just remarking. And I'm fascinated by it.

[B]

Yeah, I'm fascinated and I enjoy that. That's over. And now we're doing this. Anything else in life.

[A]

Okay. Well, you just characterize what I think about maybe quitting. Stand up.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I've enjoyed it. But maybe that's cool.

[B]

That's very cool of you to let your mind be that free. That's cool.

[A]

I mean, I think it's always great to stretch. It is to put yourself out of your comfort.

[B]

Just change the menu. We're doing this now.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because, you know, at our age, you know, it's an ageist country, they're always going to try to move you out. I mean, it's the nature of what.

[B]

Not in our thing. Nobody cares how old you are.

[A]

Well, that's another reason why I would add it to the hopper about me maybe getting out of it. I do think there is a generational element to stand up because humor is not something that translates through the ages that well. And like, the humor of today is a lot more about feelings. Nothing more than feelings. And like, people want to see someone of their own generation.

[B]

I get it, of course. But they also want to see people that can really do it.

[A]

I understand that.

[B]

Some can and some can't. And irrespective of age or anything.

[A]

Yes, that's true too. But you're coming. But you're an icon, you know.

[B]

Thank you. I'm gonna be nicer when you give a comment. I need to be nicer.

[A]

I didn't mean it like that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I just meant. I meant you don't have to. All you have to do is put your name in the paper and it'll sell out.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Maybe if I was there, I would still do it. You know, that would be an element that would influence me. Probably not. I think I'd still make this decision.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

But. But, yeah, it makes it a lot easier, you know, I mean, the audience that comes is certainly a great. I mean, look, I love. It's a love affair because anytime they're paying a hard money ticket to see you, you know, they love. They want you to do what you do very specifically. And I just want to do it for them. So.

[B]

Well, you know, I'm getting sad, Bill, that this show is almost over. I was. And I. I really was looking forward to this as much as you were.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Because it's you. And I also just love the vibe of this show.

[A]

Well, and I have one more thing to show you from my thing. This was my father's.

[B]

How I Met Hollywood's Biggest Stars by Bill Maher. This is amazing. What in the world? What is this?

[A]

Some gag gift somebody gave my father in 1960. Whatever.

[B]

That's great. And it's all Chinese folks. Show and tell.

[A]

We were so innocent.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, as a great man once said, it's so nice when it happens.

[B]

Oh, God, Bill, you did it again. Freddie decordova, after my first Tonight show, put his arm around me as we walked off the set, and he said, it's so nice when it happens. Good.

[A]

If you don't know you're in show business at that moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When somebody says something like that. All right, pal. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

This was what I thought it would be.

[B]

Love. Random.

[A]

I'm gonna have this framed and sent to you.

[B]

Okay. Thank you. Yeah. I'm a world's fair obsessive.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[C]

This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car should feel like one less thing on your list, not one more. With Carvana, it is. Just go to Carvana.com, enter your license plate or VIN and get a real offer. Down to the penny. No back and forth, no surprises. Just an experience you can trust, like your offer. Accept it, schedule pickup, and we'll come to you with a check in hand. Your car, your timeline, your terms. Visit Carvana.com to sell your car today. Delivery fees and terms may apply.

[B]

If you're into tech, you will love this. TikTok is a live lab where users post instant reviews of the latest trends. Download TikTok and check it out.

[A]

Yes, you can.

[B]

A five minute quick and easy calorie burning workout.

[A]

Give it a try. Come join our sweat sesh on TikTok.