John Leguizamo | Cub Random

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Random with Bill Maher – Episode Featuring John Leguizamo

Title: John Leguizamo | Cub Random
Host: Bill Maher
Release Date: July 14, 2025
Location: Club Random

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1. Introduction and Setting

In this episode of Club Random with Bill Maher, Bill Maher engages in an in-depth, hour-long conversation with the multifaceted actor, comedian, and activist John Leguizamo. Hosted in the enigmatic Club Random, the discussion navigates through personal anecdotes, cultural critiques, and socio-political commentary, offering listeners a rich tapestry of insights from both hosts.

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2. New York vs. the Left Coast

Bill and John delve into their contrasting feelings about New York City versus life on the West Coast.

• John Leguizamo expresses a deep-seated love for New York, calling it "the cradle of civilization" (02:28).

  "I think you gotta kind of love New York because New York, come on, it's the cradle of civilization." [02:28]

• Bill Maher challenges this notion, asserting skepticism about New York's claim to this title (02:34).

  "Well, it's certainly not the cradle of civilization." [02:34]

The conversation highlights the vibrant, albeit overwhelming, energy of New York, contrasting it with the calmer, more laid-back vibe of the West Coast. Both agree that while New York has its drawbacks, such as the relentless pace and confrontational nature of its inhabitants, it remains a cultural powerhouse.

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3. New York Sports: The Knicks Firing

The hosts discuss the recent firing of the Knicks' coach, sharing their mutual approval and criticism of the team's management.

• Bill Maher shares his relief over the decision, citing the coach's overuse of players and poor game strategies (03:25).

  "He did not give them enough rest...He wore them out. He broke them." [04:21]

• John Leguizamo concurs, emphasizing the detrimental effects of the coach's tactics on team morale and performance (03:35).

  "He broke them." [03:35]

Their discussion underscores the importance of sustainable coaching practices and the negative impact of mismanagement on professional sports teams.

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4. Civilizations and Cultural Contributions

Bill and John broaden their conversation to global cradles of civilization and the significant contributions of Latin cultures.

• They enumerate major cradles of civilization, including the Yangtze, Tigris-Euphrates in Mesopotamia, and the Nile (15:04).

  "The Yangtze, the Tigris, Euphrates in Mesopotamia... and the Nile." [15:04]

• John Leguizamo highlights the vital role of Latin contributions in global cuisine and agriculture (15:40).

  "No chilies, chocolate, there would be no chocolate, there would be no vanilla." [15:40]

This section emphasizes the foundational impact of diverse cultures on modern society, particularly spotlighting the Latin community's influence on food and agricultural practices.

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5. Hollywood Representation and Racism

The hosts critique the limited and stereotypical representation of Latinos in Hollywood.

• John Leguizamo points out the stark underrepresentation of Latinos in lead roles despite their significant population (19:08).

  "We're 20% of the population with less than 3% of the leads on film and television." [19:08]

• Bill Maher acknowledges the ongoing struggles and stresses the need for more inclusive casting (19:25).

  "And we have a long way to go." [19:25]

They discuss systemic barriers, including typecasting and lack of opportunities, advocating for greater diversity and representation in the entertainment industry.

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6. Personal Life and Marriage

Bill and John share intimate details about their marriages, highlighting the challenges and rewards of long-term relationships.

• John Leguizamo reveals he's been married for 25 years, celebrating an upcoming anniversary (12:07).

  "I've been married almost. Tomorrow is our anniversary. 25 years." [12:07]

• Bill Maher humorously reflects on his own marriage, noting the frequent political arguments that come with it (12:38).

  "Do you have to be with someone who agrees with you politically, or could you be with someone and then always be arguing?" [11:43]

Their candid conversation underscores the complexities of maintaining marital harmony amidst differing political views, emphasizing mutual respect and open communication.

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7. Awards and Recognition in the Entertainment Industry

The discussion turns to the nature of awards in Hollywood and perceived biases.

• Bill Maher criticizes the awards system for favoring politically aligned content over genuine artistic merit (08:12).

  "People who start seeking awards and recognition start couching their speech and their themes to get those awards." [08:12]

• John Leguizamo agrees, lamenting that culturally significant films often go unnoticed by major award platforms (09:35).

  "The winners of the Oscars are never the most cutting edge movie...Never the cultural shifters." [09:35]

They argue that the awards system perpetuates certain biases, hindering the recognition of innovative and culturally impactful work.

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8. Career Reflections and Early Experiences

The hosts reminisce about their early careers, sharing stories from stand-up comedy, acting roles, and personal struggles.

• Bill Maher recounts his tenure in stand-up comedy, including challenging tours and experiences with notable figures like Sam Kinison (78:14).

  "He was always an ass because he was on heroin...Charlie Hoover." [78:14]

• John Leguizamo discusses his journey through improv troupes and the obstacles he faced in a predominantly white entertainment landscape (47:18).

  "I was an improv troupe...Robin Williams would come in." [47:18]

Their narratives highlight the resilience and determination required to navigate the competitive and often exclusionary world of entertainment.

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9. Immigration and Politics

John Leguizamo and Bill Maher engage in a passionate dialogue about U.S. immigration policies and their impact on Latin communities.

• John Leguizamo emphasizes the critical role immigrants play in America’s economy and daily life (37:14).

  "Immigrants are the life source of this country." [37:14]

• Bill Maher discusses the complexities of immigration reform, advocating for ordered processes rather than open borders (38:24).

  "There has to be some order to it. It just can't be come one, come all." [38:24]

They critique political stances that vilify immigrants while acknowledging their indispensable contributions, calling for comprehensive immigration reform that balances humanitarian concerns with practical logistics.

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10. Religion, Spirituality, and Family

The conversation shifts to personal beliefs and parenting philosophies.

• Bill Maher shares his departure from Catholicism and his secular approach to spirituality (60:27).

  "I pulled out of the church when I was 13." [60:27]

• John Leguizamo discusses his approach to parenting, focusing on fostering independence and open-mindedness in his adult children (61:41).

  "They gotta stop being a parent at some point. Otherwise, you just scare them away." [61:51]

Their exchange touches on the balance between imparting values and allowing children to develop their own belief systems.

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11. Legacy and Future Endeavors

As the conversation winds down, John Leguizamo introduces his upcoming project focused on Latino excellence across America.

• John Leguizamo promotes his new MSNBC show, Leguizamo Does America, which spotlights Latino leaders and talents (88:27).

  "I go around America looking for Latin excellence, Latin exceptionalism, genius." [88:27]

This segment highlights John's commitment to celebrating and elevating Latino voices in various fields, reinforcing the episode's recurring themes of representation and cultural pride.

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12. Closing Remarks and Friendship

Bill and John conclude their discussion with reflections on their friendship, mutual respect, and the ability to engage in meaningful dialogue despite differing viewpoints.

• Bill Maher appreciates John's entertaining presence and acknowledges their ability to maintain a strong friendship despite disagreements (87:53).

  "We're able to not agree on everything and still be friends." [87:53]

• John Leguizamo reciprocates the sentiment, valuing the camaraderie and ongoing conversations that enrich their lives (87:36).

  "What a pleasure, man. Total pleasure." [87:36]

Their heartfelt exchange underscores the importance of dialogue, mutual respect, and maintaining friendships amid ideological differences.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• John Leguizamo: "New York is the cradle of civilization." [02:28]
• Bill Maher: "Well, it's certainly not the cradle of civilization." [02:34]
• Bill Maher: "People who start seeking awards and recognition start couching their speech and their themes to get those awards." [08:12]
• John Leguizamo: "Immigrants are the life source of this country." [37:14]
• Bill Maher: "There has to be some order to it. It just can't be come one, come all." [38:24]
• John Leguizamo: "We're 20% of the population with less than 3% of the leads on film and television." [19:08]
• Bill Maher: "We have a long way to go." [19:25]
• John Leguizamo: "I go around America looking for Latin excellence, Latin exceptionalism, genius." [88:27]
• Bill Maher: "We're able to not agree on everything and still be friends." [87:53]
• John Leguizamo: "What a pleasure, man. Total pleasure." [87:36]

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Conclusion

This episode of Club Random offers a compelling dialogue between Bill Maher and John Leguizamo, weaving through personal narratives, cultural critiques, and socio-political discussions. Their candidness and mutual respect create an engaging narrative that not only entertains but also provokes thoughtful reflection on issues of representation, immigration, and the evolving landscape of American culture.

Transcript

[Bill Maher]

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[John Leguizamo]

Dude, it's not easy anymore. So shitty. I used to have a photographic memory.

[Bill Maher]

It's really.

[John Leguizamo]

Now there's a lens cap over it.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know.

[John Leguizamo]

The hottest women in. In. In the whole country.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. None would talk to you. But they.

[John Leguizamo]

No, they wouldn't. Club Random.

[Bill Maher]

Hi. I can't see you, but remember Arsenio? Did you ever do that show?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I did a couple times. I love that.

[Bill Maher]

How are you, bro?

[John Leguizamo]

How you doing, man? I know. Your hand.

[Bill Maher]

Oh yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

I didn't want to mess your hand.

[Bill Maher]

That's right. I wasn't already messed up. How you doing? Welcome to the Left Coast.

[John Leguizamo]

Left coast is awesome, man. I love it.

[Bill Maher]

You like it here?

[John Leguizamo]

I do like it. I won't live here, but I love it here. I love visiting and getting the fuck out.

[Bill Maher]

That's how I feel about New York. No, why do I have to love New York to be.

[John Leguizamo]

I think you gotta kind of love New York because New York, come on, it's the cradle of civilization.

[Bill Maher]

Well, it's certainly not the cradle of civilization.

[John Leguizamo]

It is the cradle of Civilization.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[John Leguizamo]

In America. In America. And the world.

[Bill Maher]

And the world.

[John Leguizamo]

Right now.

[Bill Maher]

America isn't all of civilization. We do know what the cradles of civilization are. Were.

[John Leguizamo]

Were. I mean, they no longer.

[Bill Maher]

That's so chauvinistic. I mean, you know, you can love your city.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Look at my shirt.

[Bill Maher]

I get it. I know. Look, I lived there twice. I'm from the area. My father commuted from New Jersey into New York every day.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, you're from Jersey. Oh, that's not the same. That's not the same.

[Bill Maher]

Come on. It's not. Okay. It's not the same. You're right. And I think better because I like living in the suburbs. I don't like living in a building. I, I had all the advantages of New York, by the way. Never have given up on the New York teams. Still root for the Knicks.

[John Leguizamo]

Can you believe this Knicks situation? You fire the coach before you even hire the coach.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so glad they fired him. I think he was.

[John Leguizamo]

I think, I think I, I agree with you.

[Bill Maher]

I don't like him because he played. He. First of all, he played. He did not give them enough rest.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, he. He wore them out. He broke them. He broke them.

[Bill Maher]

He learned to have a larger rotation during the playoffs.

[John Leguizamo]

Yes, yes. And in game four, he started.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so glad you agree with me on this.

[John Leguizamo]

He started to rotate and put the.

[Bill Maher]

Bench in, but it's too late. And it worked. You don't learn these.

[John Leguizamo]

But it was also too late. Cuz these guys hadn't warmed up all season, hadn't gelled with the team and they came in like maniacs and they still played well.

[Bill Maher]

They did and it just showed. He should have been doing that all year long. You can't wear these guys out like that.

[John Leguizamo]

You can't play between people like that.

[Bill Maher]

Even if they could do it physically, which we saw the year before, they broke down physically, mentally, you can't.

[John Leguizamo]

You can't sustain. You can't.

[Bill Maher]

You can't. No one can. He's. He's like a nicer Bobby Knight, that coach.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, he's a tough dude, but. But I think.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so glad they got rid of him.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, but they didn't do it right though. I mean, you gotta hire coach first and then you let him go.

[Bill Maher]

Well, there's. They'll get it, you know, I bet you Jason Kidd will do it. I think they, I think they can get away. I don't know. He's.

[John Leguizamo]

How are they gonna take him away from a winning team like That. I mean, I know they got more money. I know Jim Dillon will go into his pockets.

[Bill Maher]

Because it's New York, John. It's the cradle of civilization.

[John Leguizamo]

He agrees with me.

[Bill Maher]

I don't.

[John Leguizamo]

You got it on camera. You got.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just mocking you. It's not the cradle of civilization. I could name the cradles of civilization. There's four of them.

[John Leguizamo]

But contemporary. Contemporary.

[Bill Maher]

Wise, contemporary. Well, it's. You know.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, where was the birth of hip hop? The birth of punk was New York City. The greatest playwrights were coming from New York City. The greatest writers, the. Yeah, come on.

[Bill Maher]

There's more to civilization than what's on graffiti. 101.5. You know, I agree. It's part of civilization. It's music and culture. It's not. There are other poetry, dude.

[John Leguizamo]

Poetry slams, Nyrican poets, poetry. Come on, Pinero. All of it was happening in New York.

[Bill Maher]

So. Okay. I mean, that's a part of what civilization is. But just because it's that important to you doesn't mean it's that way for everybody.

[John Leguizamo]

So. So politics is that important to you? What, punk and hip hop is not important to you?

[Bill Maher]

Important. No, I wouldn't. I don't think that's.

[John Leguizamo]

That's an affectation you've picked up because you don't talk like that from Jersey.

[Bill Maher]

Actually, I did. My father was a newsman.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Maher]

And so that's where you get that great voice. Was very important in our family. And speaking like that. Yeah, I never really had the New York accent, which was good, but I always had the New York mentality. I mean, I think one reason I did well out here is because they lack east coast kind of vibe out here.

[John Leguizamo]

They don't. They don't have that vibe.

[Bill Maher]

And I. When you bring it. Oh, yeah, it stands out. It works.

[John Leguizamo]

It's electric. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, we're just.

[John Leguizamo]

We're confrontational. I mean, you have to be confrontational in New York because you're confronted every day by millions of people, different cultures, different economic backgrounds. You gotta be alert. You gotta be on your game.

[Bill Maher]

That's what I didn't like about in New York. Like, I don't.

[John Leguizamo]

You came out here, and I don't.

[Bill Maher]

Wanna always be on my game. People used to say, you know, I get my energy from the people on the street. And I would say, I use all my energy trying to get by these people. I don't wanna.

[John Leguizamo]

No, I hear you. I hear you. But I love it. I feed off of it, I felt.

[Bill Maher]

And that's what makes the world go around is that. Is that we just don't agree and we're still friends because.

[John Leguizamo]

Beautiful thing.

[Bill Maher]

It's a beautiful thing. And also, it's nice that you can have a place like you say, where you go where you don't want to live, but you still like it. That's how I feel about New York. A. A beautiful fall weekend.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, my God. There's nothing like it in New York. Trees changing and. And all that. And the play. It's the beginning of all the theater season and all the TV series.

[Bill Maher]

Back to the theater. No, you're one of the most accomplished. Don't you have a lifetime achievement from finally.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, after the years of being snubbed for all my one man shows.

[Bill Maher]

Really? You think you were snubbed?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I feel like I was. I feel like I was changing comedy in America in really important ways. And I don't think I was getting the recognition I deserved.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I could make the same claim.

[John Leguizamo]

So do it.

[Bill Maher]

No, because I don't think it looks. I don't think it's a good look.

[John Leguizamo]

No, it's not a good look. But sometimes you have to. You have to pat yourself in the back. Otherwise who's gonna. If nobody's gonna recognize you, you gotta recognize yourself.

[Bill Maher]

That's the New Yorker.

[John Leguizamo]

That's right. Recognize. You gotta recognize.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, look, I'm not gonna say I've never, like in this very chair, bitched about my 40 Emmy nominations and they never would give me one. I understand why. And I have bitched, why did they.

[John Leguizamo]

Give it to you?

[Bill Maher]

Cause I'm too truthful. Because I'm not woke enough. Damn. People like you get awards. Cause it's the woke speaking to the woke. So, you know, it's always good. And that's okay. I understand that. I'd much rather have the freedom to speak always as I have completely, freely and completely truthfully, as I see.

[John Leguizamo]

No, it's interesting you're saying that because you're right. People who start seeking awards and recognition.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

Start couching their speech and their themes to get those awards. So you have to hit certain. You can't say certain things.

[Bill Maher]

And it works, by the way. It works. It can work because, I mean, voters, you know, the award voters, they absolutely confused the actor with the part.

[John Leguizamo]

Absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

So, you know, was Matthew McConaughey good in Dallas Buyers Club?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, he was amazing.

[Bill Maher]

He was good. But I think it was a given that he was going to win because the character he played was someone who fought for aids against aids.

[John Leguizamo]

And you know, but also, come on, the Oscars and all these award shows, I mean, I don't want to diss them because I want to get one. But at the same time, the movies that win are never. The movies that are the cultural shifters and the cultural makers and not the best movies of the time, of the era. They're like popular and.

[Bill Maher]

Well, they're not popular.

[John Leguizamo]

No. The winners of the Oscars. Come on. It's never the most. John.

[Bill Maher]

John.

[John Leguizamo]

Cutting edge movie.

[Bill Maher]

No, that's exactly what they're. What they're not are the popular movies. The. The ones that win are the ones that are saying to the audience. The movie used to say to the audience, this is Hollywood. Welcome to our show that showcases who we are and what we do. And we want to show you that we make the best movies. Now what they're voting for is we want to show you that we're the best people. So things like Nomadland that, you know, no one went to see or wanted.

[John Leguizamo]

Nobody went to see that. Nobody wanted to see.

[Bill Maher]

Nobody went to see a lot of these ones.

[John Leguizamo]

But her previous movie was amazing. Amazing. The writers it was about. She started as a documentary about these Native American kids and. And she turned it into a movie about their own lives and scripted their own lives into it. And one of the kids got. They were bronco riders and one of the kids got stomped on his head. It was wild. Wild. Amazing.

[Bill Maher]

There is such a divide between the ultra woke stuff that wins the awards.

[John Leguizamo]

There's no ultra woke, bro. I'm ultra woke. They're not. They're not woke enough for me. I'm sorry. They're not woken up.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's quite a statement and we probably should not pursue that at all.

[John Leguizamo]

America is a centrist country. We don't have a real left. We have a real radical right, but we don't have a real radical left. We have center and then a little center left. Real radical left wants to destroy government just like the right wants to upend everything, wants to throw out the establishment. We don't have any of that. Come on. What do we have? The left. The Democrats eat their own and they don't listen to their progressives. They never. They destroy them.

[Bill Maher]

I don't even. I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue, I tell you.

[John Leguizamo]

Come on, let's hop.

[Bill Maher]

Let me ask you about your personal life. Like, when you're in a relationship, are you always having, like, political talks with your girl? Or. Or I'm assuming it's a Girl, I don't want to be. I don't. I want to be woke enough to say I. It doesn't.

[John Leguizamo]

Thank you very.

[Bill Maher]

It could be anything and everything would be fine. And that's true. Everything would be fine. But I know. I know you're a straight man, but does it. Do you. Do you have to be with someone who agrees with you politically, or could you be with someone. And would you then always be arguing?

[John Leguizamo]

My wife and I are always arguing.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, you're married now?

[John Leguizamo]

I've been married. I've been married almost. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is our anniversary.

[Bill Maher]

How many years?

[John Leguizamo]

Married? 25 years.

[Bill Maher]

You've been married 25. Five years?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I got bad information.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. No, it wasn't. I. I mean, we've had our ups and downs, and, you know, we got past it, and I think we're doing great right now. We're doing amazing.

[Bill Maher]

So your marriage came along just with the century?

[John Leguizamo]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

25 years.

[John Leguizamo]

25 years.

[Bill Maher]

Isn't that something? That's in Hollywood.

[John Leguizamo]

That's like 100 years.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that's a. That's a lifetime achievement award.

[John Leguizamo]

Where's that award? I want that one.

[Bill Maher]

Well, congratulations. That's. And do you argue politics or do you.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, we argue politics. We argue a lot.

[Bill Maher]

She doesn't see things exactly as you do.

[John Leguizamo]

No, she doesn't. She sees things very differently than I do, and I'm.

[Bill Maher]

Maybe I should be with her.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I think you should be. If you like to fight. If you like to argue.

[Bill Maher]

I don't. I really don't. People think I do because I wind up doing it. I mean.

[John Leguizamo]

But if you left New York and you don't like New York, it's because you don't like to argue. Because everybody loves to argue. All my friends argue with me 24 7. They do, yeah. New Yorkers argue all the time. Even when they shouldn't be arguing. They're arguing.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Well, that's one of the things I just did not like about the city, John. I lived there twice. I lived there, first of all. Again, I. I grew up with New York tv, New York sports teams. My father worked there. So, yes, we were a satellite of New York. But come on, New. New. New Jersey.

[John Leguizamo]

I know, I know. It's New York adjacent. For real.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, it's. It's. I mean, look, you're. You're from what borough?

[John Leguizamo]

Queens. Jackson. I'm bridging tunnel.

[Bill Maher]

There are people who. Yeah. Who would say, yeah, you're not.

[John Leguizamo]

My wife tells me that. Yeah, she does. She says you're Bridging tunnel. You'll always be bridge and tunnel.

[Bill Maher]

And Staten Island.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, forget it's not even New York.

[Bill Maher]

Does it really belong in New York? It's like they toted from off of North Carolina or something. What is that? Doesn't even look like a city.

[John Leguizamo]

Except for Wu Tang. That's the only great thing they've ever done.

[Bill Maher]

Of course. Well, it's the cradle of civilization where the Wu Tang clan emerged by the river.

[John Leguizamo]

God, I'm so thankful for that. It makes me always want to believe and thank the Lord.

[Bill Maher]

So civilization began by four rivers because.

[John Leguizamo]

You needed, well, Western civilization, European civilization. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bill Maher]

Rivers transcend ethnicity, John. One of them was the Yangtze in China. Yeah, okay, again, this is before there was even politics. So there couldn't be any prejudice about where it started. It was just about the river. Brings fertile soil. Let's live here.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, but there were a lot of places that that happened.

[Bill Maher]

4.

[John Leguizamo]

Okay, go ahead.

[Bill Maher]

The Yangtze, the Tigris, Euphrates in Mesopotamia. More than God. Not white people, because what's worse than that? The Nile. More. Not white people. Great.

[John Leguizamo]

It's amazing.

[Bill Maher]

And the Amazon.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, you got it. You did get it. Damn, you're good.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

Are you a historian? Are you like a historian?

[Bill Maher]

Wait, no, I don't think it's the Amazon because. Because they had to migrate into South America.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, but. No, no, but you're right. No, no, but you're right because it's.

[Bill Maher]

The Nile, the Yangtze, the Tigris, Euphrates, and it is the Amazon because, you.

[John Leguizamo]

Know, they just did laser lidar and they found all these incredible civilizations underneath the jungle forest in the Amazon.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I'm sure.

[John Leguizamo]

And chilies, avocado, tomatoes all come from the Amazon. So how did they get all the way to mezzanine?

[Bill Maher]

Chili's the restaurant.

[John Leguizamo]

Say what?

[Bill Maher]

Chili's the restaurant.

[John Leguizamo]

No, chili's the. The. All Chili's. Come. Latin food is the mother cuisine of all great modern cuisine.

[Bill Maher]

The cradle of eating, obviously.

[John Leguizamo]

Yo, hot food. There would be no hot food if it wasn't for us. No chilies, chocolate, there would be no chocolate, there would be no vanilla. The corn is created. The industrial revolution that fed everything. And potatoes helped Europe grow during the Industrial revolution. Without our potatoes, our corn, our chocolate, our vanilla, you got nothing.

[Bill Maher]

My people, the Irish, had a little something to do with potatoes, I must say.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, you got it from us that we. Potatoes are from South America.

[Bill Maher]

The Irish got potatoes from South America. I don't think that's historically accurate.

[John Leguizamo]

Good that you're unfree, because that'll help.

[Bill Maher]

Want some?

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, no. Because I have to talk to you. I need to be. I need to be sharp.

[Bill Maher]

No, you don't. I'm not. No. Do you not smoke weed at all?

[John Leguizamo]

No. I take edibles. Like, to go to sleep or to travel and whatnot. And a cabinet stem now and then to be happy.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, mushrooms. Yeah. They've learned how to, like, microdose it. Well, haven't they?

[John Leguizamo]

Really good with chocolate. And that's also a Latin thing. Mushrooms or. They're from meso. They're from Mesoamerica.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. Why don't we make it easier? Name a thing the Latins haven't done. That seems like a much shorter list.

[John Leguizamo]

It's hard because. Peanut butter.

[Bill Maher]

Bronze statues of businessmen at bus stops. Is that from the. Because that seems like a very white.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah. Rodin is white. Yeah. Well, we'll give you Rodan.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. The. The monster or the sculptor.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, my God. Don't you love those monsters? Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra.

[Bill Maher]

Mothra. Yes.

[John Leguizamo]

Was that Jackson Butterfly? Yeah, yeah. All the Godzilla creatures.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[John Leguizamo]

Was it Dan the Turtle?

[Bill Maher]

No. I mean, didn't you play. Were you muted?

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, I was. I was in Spawn, the. The black comic book.

[Bill Maher]

But didn't you play some. Were you. Luigi.

[John Leguizamo]

Luigi. Super Mario Brothers. Video game. First video game, Right. Wasn't very successful then, but now it's become cult.

[Bill Maher]

Moulin Rouge. You were.

[John Leguizamo]

I was Toulouse, right. Incredible director. I mean, Baz Luhrmann, one of the greats. A world builder. He creates worlds.

[Bill Maher]

Romeo and Juliet. Yes, right.

[John Leguizamo]

Tybalt.

[Bill Maher]

I remember all those. Because you made that comment once about, like, James Franco shouldn't be playing Castro.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, it shouldn't be.

[Bill Maher]

And I was like. But, John, you've played all these parts of people who weren't. Who aren't Colombian. How does it. Why does it work one way and not the other way?

[John Leguizamo]

Because it hasn't worked in our favor in centuries. When the founding fathers of Hollywood came to Hollywood, it had just been Mexico 60 years prior, and they came into a predominantly Latino community that had been lynched, massacred, burned alive, shot, redlined, segregated, sterilized, Jim crowed. And they came here, and they didn't include the people into any of their movies for centuries.

[Bill Maher]

Drink?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, please. No, no, no, I don't drink. I'm sober.

[Bill Maher]

You know, it goes with the light conversation. Cocktail. Should we move to the veranda? No, I'm sure that.

[John Leguizamo]

And then there was Brownface for Like decades, bro. Brown face. I mean, Charlton Heston and Touch.

[Bill Maher]

That was a while ago. I mean, since then, we've had Raul, Julian and andy Garcia.

[John Leguizamo]

We're 20% of the population with less than 3% of the leads on film and television with 30%. I'm sure there's the box office, and we're still, like, under. Were the most aggressively underrepresented ethnic group in America.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I'm. Okay. I'm sure there's work to do there, and I'm.

[John Leguizamo]

I need your help doing it.

[Bill Maher]

How? How could I help? What could I possibly.

[John Leguizamo]

$50 million?

[Bill Maher]

Well, I don't have 100. I don't have.

[John Leguizamo]

I just need a little. I don't have cash.

[Bill Maher]

And I. If I had it, I wouldn't spend it on that. Let me tell you something.

[John Leguizamo]

What would you spend your money on?

[Bill Maher]

You know, I'm a very simple dude.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, I can see by this huge property.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I do have some land. That's nice. But I like land.

[John Leguizamo]

I like land, too.

[Bill Maher]

I like.

[John Leguizamo]

Land is good.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, land is good. It's one reason I, again, would not want to live in New York. I do not like living in a building. I like. I grew up in the suburbs. Yeah, New Jersey is the suburbs. I grew up with a lawn. You know, we were middle class. We didn't have anything special or spectacular. And I still don't. I have. You know, I'm a simple guy.

[John Leguizamo]

This house is not simple. My actual class.

[Bill Maher]

My actual house is.

[John Leguizamo]

This is amazing.

[Bill Maher]

My actual house. Two bedrooms. Is that a lot?

[John Leguizamo]

No, that's not a lot.

[Bill Maher]

It's not a lot.

[John Leguizamo]

Square footage, picture footage.

[Bill Maher]

I don't even know, but it's not a lot. It's got a kitchen. It's got a, you know, a nice kitchen. Look, it has a kitchen with an island, which. When I was a kid, my kitchen was the size of this chair. Like an island. The kitchen was an island. Now everybody's got an island.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, well, you got that space for an island. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But it's not like it's what kitchens became. Houses got bigger. So I have a kitchen. I have a small dining room, a nice living room.

[John Leguizamo]

You're not overcompensating.

[Bill Maher]

A nice living room. And then upstairs, there's a family room, which I don't go in a lot. Cause I don't got that.

[John Leguizamo]

A family.

[Bill Maher]

And, you know, my bedroom, a spare bedroom, a nice closet. I mean, it's. I have a great office. It's built sort of for one, that house. But I don't need a lot. I'm a simple guy. One house, one car, one plane. That's.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, you don't have two homes, you don't have one plane. Just a simple jet. No helicopters.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, no. I. And that stuff doesn't make me happy. It's just stuff that means stuff to me.

[John Leguizamo]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

You know, could they take my politically incorrect sign? They could have, but.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, Politically Incorrect. I love it.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, you were on it.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I was. I love it.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

So, you know, and you were very influential. I mean, your show was. Was incredible. I mean, because nobody was talking like you back in the day when you came up with. With. With being really aggressive about thoughts and calling people on shit nobody was yet doing. Gotcha.

[Bill Maher]

And I'm still doing it.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, you still are.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Look, we all know speed and quality go rarely go hand in hand. You don't go to a drive through expecting caviar, just like you don't grab fast food. Sushi. Sure, it's ready in three minutes, but your weekend plans now involve a trip to urgent care. However, I gotta admit, there is one place where fast doesn't mean trouble. ZipRecruiter. With ZipRecruiter, you can actually find super qualified candidates fast. It's like ordering a gourmet meal at a drive thru and actually getting a gourmet meal. If you need to hire someone smart and reliable who's genuinely a good addition to your team, like I occasionally do here at the show. Wink wink. Use our link to check out ziprecruiter.com random you get access to their supercharged resume database so you can find and connect with qualified candidates in minutes. And if someone stands out, you can instantly see their contact info. 320,000 new resumes get added every month. So you're not fishing in an empty pond here. ZipRecruiter. It's the place for hiring experience, hiring speed and quality. With ZipRecruiter, four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And if you go to ziprecruiter.com random right now, you can try it for free again. That's ziprecruiter.com random ziprecruiter the smartest way to hire. Hey, you know what's harder than admitting you need therapy? Finding a therapist who doesn't ask you to wait a sec while they type all of your questions into ChatGPT. You better hope it doesn't hallucinate. Well, that's where Rula comes in. They've got a real network. Over 15,000 vetted therapists and psychiatrists across the country. They actually help you find the right fit based on what you need, not just what your insurance barely covers. And get this, you can pay as little as 15 bucks a session with in network coverage for most major insurances. That's cheaper than whatever new ag supplement your cousin Karen is selling on Facebook. And yes, I think therapy has helped many people I know because contrary to what some people think, working on yourself doesn't mean you're weak or flawed. It means makes you less unbearable to be around. That's what it does. And trust me, we could all use a little less unbearable. Thousands have already trusted Rula to support them on their journey toward improved mental health and overall well being. Head on over to rula.com random to get started today. After you sign up, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you go to r.ula.comrandom and take the first step towards better mental health today. You deserve quality care from someone who does care. No, I. I mean, I was funny reading the paper today and there's Curtis Sliwa on the front page.

[John Leguizamo]

Wow.

[Bill Maher]

Crazy, right?

[John Leguizamo]

Running for New York mayor.

[Bill Maher]

Right. And it was. I just remember him on like the subway.

[John Leguizamo]

Subway.

[Bill Maher]

The first season of political being career. Because we would have. He was. We had like a budget of nothing and so we would have local New York types on very. And he was interesting. Remember the angels?

[John Leguizamo]

Of course. I see him on the subway all the time.

[Bill Maher]

Right. With the red hats.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, and he. I think his girl was with him and she was kind of like a hot guardian angel.

[John Leguizamo]

She was really fine. She was like some kind of Russian chick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And now I see him and you know, we look. We all look older. Although you look fantastic. You really don't look like you still look so brown.

[John Leguizamo]

Don't break down.

[Bill Maher]

So, you know, another thing in the brown column. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. Let me keep score here. White people. Bronze statues.

[John Leguizamo]

White people have done some good things.

[Bill Maher]

Bronze statues. Wait. We were the first ones to combine avocado and toast.

[John Leguizamo]

You were the Winter Olympics. Avocado toast is incredible.

[Bill Maher]

Winter Olympics. That's amazing. That's us. Skiing, music and elevators.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, I gotta love elevator music. People who. It really relaxes me.

[Bill Maher]

White people have done a lot of things. I know. A lot of bad things. But, you know, everybody in the world has done a lot of bad things.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

No Doubt being. Being horrible and racist and colonizers and all that. It is not the province of one race.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, of course not. Of course not. I mean, my. My. My 15th, I go back 500 generations on both sides in the Americans.

[Bill Maher]

500?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

How do you know that?

[John Leguizamo]

Because I went on finding your roots.

[Bill Maher]

5. But they don't go back 500.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, you can't because.

[Bill Maher]

No, they can't.

[John Leguizamo]

They can because the Catholic Church kept crazy records.

[Bill Maher]

Not 500, John. You got that? No, I promise.

[John Leguizamo]

They trace me back my 15th grandfather.

[Bill Maher]

That's not 500 human.

[John Leguizamo]

1400 humans. What's the 1400s?

[Bill Maher]

Well, think about it. How many generations in A.

[John Leguizamo]

That's 500 years ago, brother. I know you're on a little bit of weed, but I'm gonna help you with the math.

[Bill Maher]

No, you're the one who's gonna be embarrassed. How many generations in a century?

[John Leguizamo]

Well, it depends. If you're Latino, it might be 20 or 30.

[Bill Maher]

In a century, you have children every 16 years. Say 20 years for a generation.

[John Leguizamo]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

All right, so there's five generations in a century. So in 500 years, that's five.

[John Leguizamo]

That's. If everybody's having kids at 20. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That's 25 generations.

[John Leguizamo]

I'm the only person on the show that they could trace my lineage 500 years on both sides in the Americas, two conquistadors who were genocidal murderers.

[Bill Maher]

I'm sure you related to conquistadors, but they don't go back 500 years.

[John Leguizamo]

Conquistadors, 1492.

[Bill Maher]

Conquistadors were like 500 years ago. Again, that's 25 generations, not 500.

[John Leguizamo]

That's 400 years. I didn't say 500 generations. I said 500 years.

[Bill Maher]

You said generations.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, I said my 15th grandfather was Ben Alcazar, right hand man to Pizarro, and he came to Colombia. He. Before he genocided a tons of Ecuadorian women and children. And then he came to Colombia and created four cities.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I mean, Mexicans are a mix of the indigenous people and the Spanish. So you know when people are like, oh, yeah. I mean. And the Spanish were as.

[John Leguizamo]

You got to go on finding your roots because you're gonna find.

[Bill Maher]

I did.

[John Leguizamo]

What did they find? Did you have roots?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, they knew basically what they were. My father. Ireland.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

My mother. That family originally was from Hungary. Hungarian Jewish on that side. Although the Jewish kind of melted away as they came to America. I mean, that wasn't really put into me, but it's my heritage. And My father's side was pretty standard. Like, came right after the civil war in this country. The potato famine in Ireland. Oh, sure. You know, they traced it certainly back 1818. I remember that number sticks in my head when they had the name of it was what Great great great great grandmother or something like that. Born in the church. You know, they go back to like the church and.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Cause the Catholic church kept. Kept.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, of course they kept the record. So they knew the people. Absolutely. Their full names and who came here and then married and o' Toole married this one. And. Yeah, I mean, it was a very standard history. The Irish came to this country around that time and they also faced horrible prejudice. Oh, yeah, they were Irish. And actors need not apply or something, shit like that. And, you know, every ethnic group that. That comes here gets the shaft. You're like at the bottom of the. Of the Right.

[John Leguizamo]

But we've been here. The first European language spoken in America was not English, was Spanish. We've been here since then.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely.

[John Leguizamo]

And. And we Irish, because they're white people can move up, but we haven't moved up. We've stayed in the same place because this is the fourth mass deportation of Latinos since 1830. We've been. We've been after Mexico. After Mexico became America. And they took. They took the land and invaded and took from Mississippi to the Pacific. They started lynching people, stealing their land, stealing the political wealth. And then they mass deported in the. In the 1930s with the repatriation act. Two million Latinos, most of them were American citizens.

[Bill Maher]

And what the president is doing, scaring the shit out of people who don't. Shouldn't have the shit scared out of them and should be able to stay here is awful. And I told that to. To him, to his face.

[John Leguizamo]

You did?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[John Leguizamo]

That's amazing. That takes a lot of courage.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Well, we kind of famously had dinner a few weeks ago, months ago, and.

[John Leguizamo]

You called him out. You called him out.

[Bill Maher]

We had a. You know, don't make me go through this again. But, you know, it was. It was a big controversy at the time. You must have seen.

[John Leguizamo]

Huge. Yeah, no, it was insane.

[Bill Maher]

So, like, they were mad at me for going there, the woke. But. But like I kept saying, well, among other things, one, when I left the dinner and before I got there, I never stopped tearing him a new asshole about the things I thought he deserved a new asshole torn about. So, you know, and he took it.

[John Leguizamo]

He took it with. But.

[Bill Maher]

And what they got mad at me about was just explaining that in Person. He's a completely different guy.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, totally different guy.

[Bill Maher]

And that is not on me. I'm just reporting. And, yes, you can have a conversation. And I did at one point say to him those exact words. I said, you're scaring people. Why do you want to scare your own citizens? You know, and in. In public, he would have exploded at that and say, you're a terrible person. And in private, he talks to you like a. Like a human being and listens a lot better than a lot of other people who are in those kind of positions have. That's just the truth. I know.

[John Leguizamo]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Maher]

I know they hate to hear it, and a lot of people are involved, but it's the.

[John Leguizamo]

It's the presentational, performative side of him that's so dangerous and. And heinous.

[Bill Maher]

So dangerous and so heinous.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I mean, that. That side of. Because I met him, too. Cause we all met him in New York. He was always in the clubs getting on some model or something, whatever, you know, sitting on some corner trying to hit on all the hotties.

[Bill Maher]

And what were you doing in the 90s? The same thing.

[John Leguizamo]

I was always. I always had a date. I always came with a date.

[Bill Maher]

I met him once at Moomba. Do you remember Moomba?

[John Leguizamo]

Yes, of course you do. I saw him at Moomba. He was always at Moomba.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, well, that's where I. I met him twice before he was president. Once at the Playboy Mansion and once at Mumba.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, Mumba was hot. That was where all the models were going.

[Bill Maher]

And I think he was once on Howard Stern and Saren. My name came up. And, you know, there were. Howard is always asking about girls, and I guess I was with someone, and he went, yeah, he was with someone. Not bad. He got a Not bad guy.

[John Leguizamo]

He got the nod of approval from Trump. That's crazy. I met him a time. I was giving an award at the Trump Tower before he was even a political person. And I was giving Baz Luhrmann an award, and he came up to me and he goes, oh, you're so articulate. Because you know why People always tell you that if you're a Latin person and you can speak, that you're so articulate, which I know is code for, I thought you were all dumb. And. But he was so meek. He was so. I was. I was astounded how incredibly meek he is. Like, I wouldn't call it quiet.

[Bill Maher]

I wouldn't call it meek. What I would call it is knowing how to make everybody. It's ironic. Because he's known as the greatest egomaniac. And he is quite an egomaniac. But to make the person you're talking to feel like they're the ones who are important and you're interested in what they're saying, he's good at that. I remember that at the Playboy Mansion and I saw it again at the White House.

[John Leguizamo]

Right. It's obsequious. It's obsequious.

[Bill Maher]

It's not obsequious. He's just.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, I'm telling you what I experienced. It seemed obsequious, even though he gave me the. The old, the old. You're so articulate.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's just obnoxious because it's a terrible thing. But, you know, people say, is he a racist or not?

[John Leguizamo]

He's.

[Bill Maher]

He's an 80 year old or soon to be a year away from 80 year old guy whose father was a virulent racist.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah. And he marched with the kkk. His father was arrested for marching.

[Bill Maher]

His father was, was definitely a racist.

[John Leguizamo]

And his grandfather was a pimp.

[Bill Maher]

Like of the times. Like the people are a product of their times. He is a product of his.

[John Leguizamo]

But some of us overcome our times.

[Bill Maher]

That is absolutely true.

[John Leguizamo]

He hasn't overcome that.

[Bill Maher]

That is true. And fair to say, but he's not on the level of racism that Stephen Miller is.

[John Leguizamo]

No, nobody's at the level of Stephen Miller's racism. And who, who's the architect of all this mass deportation grew up here in Santa Monica with Latinos and I guess they bullied him and he's got a chip on his shoulder over that.

[Bill Maher]

But I mean, part of this is a backlash to how badly Biden handled the immigration situation. It can't just be like, come one, come all, which it was plenty of.

[John Leguizamo]

There's plenty of room here and we need room. Lati. There's plenty of room in America. Come on. There's, there's not a lack of room.

[Bill Maher]

In America, but it's never about room. It's about resources and about like having a. Countries have to have a border. You can, it just can't be. I mean, they've done surveys and something like 200 million people around the world. When asked, would you come to America if you could? Yes, I would. Why wouldn't it? Lots of countries, excuse me, are shitholes and they would love to be here. You can't just.

[John Leguizamo]

The places aren't shitholes, but.

[Bill Maher]

Well, they are. I mean, that's why they want to come.

[John Leguizamo]

And it's usually because of America. What America has done, especially in Latin America, is beat up. Every democracy that was burgeoning in Latin America, they destroyed it to keep their oil or their resources or bauxite or bananas.

[Bill Maher]

Like, if you don't really have rights, like, as far as, like, women's rights, in most majority Muslim countries, women just don't.

[John Leguizamo]

Right, right.

[Bill Maher]

Close to the rights we have here. If you can't dress the way you want, if you are in a country where there's just extreme poverty, which a lot of countries have, or if there's like the kind of corruption. And we have corruption here, of course, but on a level.

[John Leguizamo]

Well, we have extra corruption with the meme coin, but it.

[Bill Maher]

There it is on a level in some countries that's way, way more.

[John Leguizamo]

We're catching up, we're catching up, we're catching up.

[Bill Maher]

But we still.

[John Leguizamo]

No, it's still.

[Bill Maher]

There's a reason why people want to come here because it's still better.

[John Leguizamo]

But I got to tell you, I.

[Bill Maher]

Mean, if you live in a country where you can take a chicken on a bus, that was always my standard, okay? I think I have the right to call that chickens on a bushole country. And I see why you want to come here. It's not your fault you live in a shithole. It doesn't mean you're a person. You had the misfortune of being born there. And I get it why you would want to move here.

[John Leguizamo]

Right. But the thing is that the immigrants that are coming here are building the country. They're the essential workers.

[Bill Maher]

They are.

[John Leguizamo]

They're the first responders. They're doing all your construction, painting, plumbing, raising all your food, cooking all your food, serving all your food, kids taking.

[Bill Maher]

Care of your kids, taking care of your kids.

[John Leguizamo]

We do all the work that nobody wants to do and keeps the country going. I mean, immigrants are the life source of this country.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, they are. Absolutely. Because again, we're both products of them.

[John Leguizamo]

Yes, yes, we are.

[Bill Maher]

We need. But what most Americans, I think sensible middle of the road people would say is, yes, of course, we are an immigrant welcoming country, but there has to be some order to it. It just can't be come one, come all. No, you know, I mean, there was like video people would see of people, just the border guards just looking as people or just like giant trains of people. And, you know, that's why then where do they go? They went to cities on the borders who then were like, you know what? If you people in New York think that it's such a great idea to let Anybody in, we're going to bust them to you. And then what did the people in New York say? I mean, even the governor of New York was like, we can't take all these people. Mayor Adams was like. And he's right. It's like, you know, these people live here and now this is their burden to this degree. But I mean, those people.

[John Leguizamo]

I agree. I agree.

[Bill Maher]

Those cities on the border call the bluff of the sanctuary city. It's very easy to sit there from far away and go, we're a sanctuary city. Okay, well, here's your. Here's all the people. Sanctuary. And then they didn't like it.

[John Leguizamo]

Let's fix the immigration problem.

[Bill Maher]

That's the kind of hypocrisy.

[John Leguizamo]

Let's fix the legal immigration because it's a broken system. People who've been here for 30 years can't be naturalized. That's insane. Who've been working here and giving their lives and just fix the legal immigration. Stop creating these quotas and this blockage. He.

[Bill Maher]

He did finally have to go back on that and say, you know, the people who work. Because, like, who does he think cleans the rooms in his hotels?

[John Leguizamo]

Right, exactly.

[Bill Maher]

Who do you think?

[John Leguizamo]

Mo's was his law and all his.

[Bill Maher]

Golf club around your first wife's race.

[John Leguizamo]

Your golf balls for you.

[Bill Maher]

You know, so, you know, he has a way of, like, always going too far and just doing.

[John Leguizamo]

And then tacoing. Yes, just tacos.

[Bill Maher]

Tacoing. Everything is Latino words coming from taco. That's right.

[John Leguizamo]

Come on.

[Bill Maher]

Well, the Iranians found out it's not always taco.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, my God. That.

[Bill Maher]

They found out it was not always taco ing.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, that. That.

[Bill Maher]

See, it's kind of good to have that reputation of like, oh, he never follows through. Oh, really?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Boom.

[John Leguizamo]

Comes out of nowhere.

[Bill Maher]

Thirty dollar bomb up your ass.

[John Leguizamo]

So crazy.

[Bill Maher]

So, well, well, here we are. So what's your. What are you doing out here? Are we hustling?

[John Leguizamo]

Selling?

[Bill Maher]

What do you.

[John Leguizamo]

I'm hawking wares.

[Bill Maher]

Like, for what?

[John Leguizamo]

Smoke?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that's your series?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Apple.

[John Leguizamo]

Apple. True Crime. Dennis Lehane, one of the great preeminent.

[Bill Maher]

How's apple to work with? Good.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm catching up to your.

[Bill Maher]

I'm a humble man. You're a humble man with a humble. Hey, you know what? I was poor.

[John Leguizamo]

No, you've earned it. I'm not saying I'm not.

[Bill Maher]

When I lived in New York, I was like, it's funny, I know. I used to hear old comics talk about this and think they were so corny, but now I'm saying it, and it's true. When they would say, you know, we were poor when we were young, but we didn't know we were poor.

[John Leguizamo]

You didn't know. You never knew you were poor?

[Bill Maher]

I'm sure I knew I was living on a shithole apartment above a bus stop on 8th Avenue and 55th Street.

[John Leguizamo]

But you didn't know. It was shitty.

[Bill Maher]

You.

[John Leguizamo]

You. You were kind of loving it.

[Bill Maher]

I did, but I was.

[John Leguizamo]

You were roughing it. You were an artist.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I was living in New York.

[John Leguizamo]

For the first hottest women in.

[Bill Maher]

In.

[John Leguizamo]

In the whole country.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. None would talk to you, but they were hot. That's the thing about New York. One reason I didn't like New York, I did not get along with the women. You know, you vibe with certain cities.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I came out here, I found paradise.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

In New York. Just.

[John Leguizamo]

Well, you also came here when you had mad success, girl.

[Bill Maher]

No, I. Well, more success.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

No, I did not come here. I came here in 1983 when I had done three Tonight Shows. I didn't have.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, my God, that's success.

[Bill Maher]

I had a little apartment and a Toyota, and my sound system was.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, that's not success.

[Bill Maher]

My sound system in the car was a boombox in the back.

[John Leguizamo]

Toyota Corolla. Is that what you had that plugged.

[Bill Maher]

Into the cigarette lighter?

[John Leguizamo]

Those are some sad times.

[Bill Maher]

That was my sound system.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Where I put a tape into a boom. In the back seat.

[John Leguizamo]

But did you think you were cool? Come on. You thought you were so dope.

[Bill Maher]

No one could think they were cool with a boombox in the back seat and.

[John Leguizamo]

But you start. But then you started.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I remember I was going out with a girl in 1985 who was like, so out of my league, and she would just unmercifully make fun of me about that. That's incredible.

[John Leguizamo]

You gotta love that. You gotta love that.

[Bill Maher]

I do. You know, it doesn't work to have things if you can't look back and know what you didn't have, because it just doesn't. I was. Somebody was mentioning sometime recently that, oh, nice bathtub. I said, you know, I never had a bathtub that I wanted to get into until I was 45 when I moved here.

[John Leguizamo]

Wow.

[Bill Maher]

I. I never took a bath. I mean, I hadn't. Like, you took like a sink shower because, like, the idea of sitting in this little narrow. Horse baths.

[John Leguizamo]

Horse baths, you know, like, that is sink.

[Bill Maher]

They used to call they had an ethnic name for that, but I won't say it. I know.

[John Leguizamo]

I know.

[Bill Maher]

They. Because it would. Would make you so mad. I'm just saying. I've heard it. I know, but that's good restraint.

[John Leguizamo]

I appreciate that.

[Bill Maher]

But it was a blankety blank shower.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah. No, I know.

[Bill Maher]

And I've taken many of them.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, we all have.

[Bill Maher]

I still do it sometimes.

[John Leguizamo]

Yo, I found out that I. When I realized that I. I was really poor was when I went to the Fresh Air Fund.

[Bill Maher]

Do you remember?

[John Leguizamo]

The Fresh Air Fund? They just take Latin black kids that were poor, and they would send us to a rich white family in the country for two weeks. And then I realized, oh, my God, they have TV dinners. They have TVs, two TVs. They have all this space. They have a yard. It was incredible. Then I realized I was fucking poor. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I was super poor. I mean, that apartment was horrible. It was a. You know what they call a studio, which meant one room. I often woke up with roaches around me. Oh, yeah, that was sometimes crawling on me.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah. No, I've had that.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, that's.

[John Leguizamo]

I've had one. If you don't fall on my lips.

[Bill Maher]

If you don't know you're poor, then when you wake up with a roach.

[John Leguizamo]

In your mouth, that is the most disgusting.

[Bill Maher]

Not this kind of roach.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, that kind of roach. You wake up with that one. That's okay. That means you had a great night. Yeah, I. I mean, I. I got talent. Because that's the only way you can get girls if you're broke is if you have talent and it's like a magnet. And girls come to you. Otherwise, without cash. Yeah, you're not going to get girls. Not in New York City.

[C]

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[Bill Maher]

Take me through that. How did the talent Because I don't remember this happening to me. I don't remember being a starting out young comedian and oh, I've got talent and the girls were there. They were not.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh my God, they were all over there. I was at first Amendment improv. I don't know if you remember that it was on Bond Street.

[Bill Maher]

What was your first thing you were in an improv troop?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I was an improv troupe in.

[Bill Maher]

In New York.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. And there were all these.

[Bill Maher]

Where were they headquartered?

[John Leguizamo]

Bond Street. Bond Street.

[Bill Maher]

Bond went downtown.

[John Leguizamo]

Downtown. And Robin Williams would come in. Bruce Willis would come in. Yeah. I was in the C Company. I wasn't part of the A Company. I never got to the A Company.

[Bill Maher]

Well, they're lost, huh? Now they look stupid. So they. They had, like, leagues like that.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So there was all varsity junior.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[John Leguizamo]

C was the worst. But you. But they kept promising, so you had to, like, clean their bathrooms, do the bar sweep and clean up the whole place.

[Bill Maher]

Who from the A group would we know today that went on to good things? Oh, wow. Maybe nobody.

[John Leguizamo]

Michael. Oh, my God. What's his name?

[Bill Maher]

Michael's name can't be that.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no. He was in talk radio on off Broadway with Eric Boghossian and Nancy Lombardo. Coached Josh from Drake and Josh comedy. Okay. It's not really huge success, but it's.

[Bill Maher]

When I. I'm not a culture vulture, John, but I do occasionally go to the theater and enjoy it when I do. And I went to see a play by John. By Eric Boghossian when I lived in New York in the 90s.

[John Leguizamo]

Talk radio.

[Bill Maher]

No, I don't think it was sex.

[John Leguizamo]

Drugs and rock and roll.

[Bill Maher]

Maybe it was that he was down. It was on. It's in the Village and it's this little. It's the theater is the name of the street.

[John Leguizamo]

Like the Mary Barrel Street Theater. Barrel Street Theater. Or maybe Manila.

[Bill Maher]

That's it.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[Bill Maher]

That's it.

[John Leguizamo]

Yes. Theater. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. I saw that there.

[John Leguizamo]

Well, I think that was sex, drugs in rock and roll. That was a big one. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Right. And. Yeah, I was.

[John Leguizamo]

I was drinking in America or. Yeah, but in one of those. They were great.

[Bill Maher]

I mean.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, you didn't like it?

[Bill Maher]

No, I did. Oh, yeah, I did.

[John Leguizamo]

I thought it was kind of revolutionary.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. He had a. He had quite a moment there. Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Because he brought rage. He. He brought anger to it. He bought. Yeah. He brought a lot of great stuff to one man shows and to comedy.

[Bill Maher]

Right. I mean, I would say, you know, in many ways, what you did on, you know, bro. Similar stuff. Like one man. Like. I'm just gonna bring it as me.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. You know, he was one of my. Yeah. One of the people who inspired me. Lily Tomlin Goldberg.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

And. And of course, the. The great Spalding Gray, who was, I think, the forefather to all of us. He gave me my first obi for Mambo Mouth. Spalding Gray gave it to me.

[Bill Maher]

What was the name of the big show he did? I remember. And we're talking about a WASPy white guy.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, the waspiest, raspiest dude you ever met in your entire life.

[Bill Maher]

Are you still okay?

[John Leguizamo]

Swimming to Cambodia was a big.

[Bill Maher]

That was it.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Swimming to Cambodia. What a name for a. Wow. I don't.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, you would think that would be a hit, but it was.

[Bill Maher]

I think they ran it on PBS and I saw it there. Sounds like the kind of thing that would happen.

[John Leguizamo]

I read all his. All his plays. I read everything. He. And his new documentary is incredible where, you know, he talks about.

[Bill Maher]

Just so they would. So girls would come to you're.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no. They would be part of the troupe and we'd be hanging. Yeah, yeah. And they were all super fine.

[Bill Maher]

Really.

[John Leguizamo]

And the headliners in comedy, dude, they were so fine.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[John Leguizamo]

Jane Bruckner was one of the hottest women I ever saw. Pat. I can't remember her last name. Pat was a waspy chick. She was fine, too. Yeah. Emmy Gay. She was. Yeah, yeah. There was some. Tamara. Yeah, there was. There was a lot of, like, great.

[Bill Maher]

You sure they were fine? Or maybe they were just making you laugh so you liked them more.

[John Leguizamo]

I like that, too. Obviously.

[Bill Maher]

I like that, too, but I've never. I've never.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, they were fine. They were fine.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Because you're right. There weren't a lot of hot chicks in stand up. But improv.

[Bill Maher]

No, there have been very attractive. I mean, Sarah Silverman is a woman.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah, she's fine. She's fine. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, and lots of the ones that had a reputation because in the old days they had to sort of like, play that up to get over on the audience. Lucille Ball and. Yeah, she started out as an ingenue, not as a.

[John Leguizamo]

As a model. She was a model.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know.

[John Leguizamo]

And then she married that Latin guy.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[John Leguizamo]

And back to Latinness again.

[Bill Maher]

And he was a success in the 50s.

[John Leguizamo]

So.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, is America really that terrible?

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, dude. The one guy. One guy with a whole population around you, and there's one guy who's making it. Who.

[Bill Maher]

Who.

[John Leguizamo]

They couldn't even get the show on the air. She had a fight and say, I'm not. I'm not gonna do your show, your radio show, unless my husband's in it. They go, america's not gonna believe you're married to a Latin guy. And she goes, But I am.

[Bill Maher]

It's so hard to imagine that show without him.

[John Leguizamo]

Lucy, you got a lot of explaining to do.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, because. And, you know, times were so different. There was an episode where she purposely gets a sunburn so that Ricky won't hit her. Oh, my God, that's so cool. Because she bought a dress that she shouldn't have. And just the idea that America was super cool with this complete notion of, oh, sure, you know, your husband's gonna beat me, your husband's gonna beat you.

[John Leguizamo]

Spousal abuse, you know, it's part of the marriage.

[Bill Maher]

Ralph Cranberry. Oh, yeah. To the moon, Alice. I mean, it's hard to imagine, I don't know, Ray Romano threatening his wife with a closed fist every week at the end of it. Everybody loves Modern Family.

[John Leguizamo]

O' Neill's gonna go, yeah, come over here, Sofia Vergara. I'm gonna knock you out.

[Bill Maher]

And the gay guy's gonna hit the other gay. Yeah, yeah, we gotta do it right. It's just. I'm just saying it was a different time. I'm just saying the amount that this country has changed as much as we have problems is just astounding. And I just don't think that's something that they want to acknowledge enough on the left. Because they always want to feel like I'm the better person because I say things are worse than you are saying, and that doesn't make you better. Just because you're Glummer.

[John Leguizamo]

Glomming. That's a very New York word. Did you say glomming?

[Bill Maher]

No, I do say that word all the time. My mother used to say it. I said glummer, but glomming. Yes. My mother would always say, that's a great Yiddish.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, Those garners coming over. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Emma's. You know that one?

[John Leguizamo]

No, I don't know what Emma says.

[Bill Maher]

That means, like, the real truth.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, wow. Nobody ever gave me the Emma's.

[Bill Maher]

That's exactly how you say it. Give me the. I'm the Emma Sun. And whether.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, that's so dope. I never heard that.

[Bill Maher]

Whether that bomb wiped out the Iranian nuclear stood or not, you know, like, give me the Emma's.

[John Leguizamo]

Give me the Emma's.

[Bill Maher]

But, you know, and I. I only know some of these from tv. Like spilkes.

[John Leguizamo]

Spilkus.

[Bill Maher]

And what's the other one over there?

[John Leguizamo]

Look at that. That punum. What a lovely punum.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, right.

[John Leguizamo]

Punum. I said punum.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, punum. But we have a lot of Latino phrases in the language.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah. Ton. Tons.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, so they're good.

[John Leguizamo]

Like, homie.

[Bill Maher]

Homie.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, you're my homie. What's up, Homie that comes from California.

[Bill Maher]

That was black.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, black. It was black adopted. But it was Latinos here who were in jail. And you're a homie. You're my. For my hometown. You're my homeboy.

[Bill Maher]

You know the movie? I'm sure you do. The. The. What was the name of it? It's the. The. The fighting. Fighting Queen. No, which one?

[John Leguizamo]

Which one?

[Bill Maher]

It's. It was about More.

[John Leguizamo]

Give me more.

[Bill Maher]

Three years ago, I think it's. It was about the African kingdom of Dahomey and the Warrior Queen.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yes, yes. With Viola Davis.

[Bill Maher]

Correct, correct. And they gloss over the little fact in the movie to a degree. Not completely, but they play it down that it was a kingdom based on slavery.

[John Leguizamo]

Wow.

[Bill Maher]

Blacks taking other blacks as late. Which happened all the time.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And. But. And the name of that kingdom was Dahomey.

[John Leguizamo]

Dahomey.

[Bill Maher]

Dh yeah. And I remember when I. That's what all I could think of was Dahomey. These slaves were captured. They ain't my homie. And there was. The country used to be called Dahomey for years. I remember seeing it on the map. And now I think it is Benin.

[John Leguizamo]

Benin. I mean, everybody changed names.

[Bill Maher]

They do change names from colonial names. I mean, Beijing when I was a kid was Peking. Remember Peking?

[John Leguizamo]

Yes. That's where it came from. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

Wow. Things have changed.

[Bill Maher]

Sri Lanka was Ceylon. Moon Bay was Bombay.

[John Leguizamo]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I mean, it's incredible. Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

How do you keep up with all this? You have to read a lot.

[Bill Maher]

My job. It is always been my job. It was always my passion because again, my father was a newsman.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, so, like, news was a big deal in your house?

[Bill Maher]

It was. You know, I mean, they didn't force it on anybody, but, you know, kids, they just absorb the by. Osmosis.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Yeah, you do.

[Bill Maher]

So, you know, and I could also. We could hear my father on the radio. My father was a radio news guy.

[John Leguizamo]

Would I have heard him?

[Bill Maher]

You may have. If you listen to mutual broadcasting or wor.

[John Leguizamo]

W R. I listen to WR.

[Bill Maher]

You probably heard billboard in the 70s, 7 into the 70s. Yes. By then he was more transitioned to editor, but 50s and 60s mostly, but maybe. Yes, early 70s. And this is the days when every radio station had, you know, news at the top of the hour.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Just five minutes of news, you know, like.

[John Leguizamo]

Like wins, Winds, news, the whole world.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly, yeah. Top of the hour.

[John Leguizamo]

Top of the hour, Winfans. News the whole world.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. Secretary of State Kennedy Howell has met with. With President Khrushchev's premier.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, you got that voice, man.

[Bill Maher]

In Vienna, the radio voice. Talks were describ. Described as productive. But, Frank, in other news, the hula hoop is.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah. The hula hoop is all the rage in America.

[Bill Maher]

And that was just how it was, you know? So it was always what I was interested in. The history.

[John Leguizamo]

History and news.

[Bill Maher]

History and news. The New York Times is always.

[John Leguizamo]

What college did you go to?

[Bill Maher]

Cornell.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, that's a good college. What'd you major in?

[Bill Maher]

English History.

[John Leguizamo]

English lit.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I mean, I think I started.

[John Leguizamo]

Dad let you major in English lit? He was okay with that?

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, if he's paying for.

[John Leguizamo]

It, doesn't he want you to be in a career that's going to bring you.

[Bill Maher]

He wasn't paying for a lot of it. He was out of work at that time. I, I. Look, I was a drug dealer in college. I mean, a pot dealer. I'm, I'm, I'm. Look, it's.

[John Leguizamo]

That's how you paid. That's how you paid for your credits?

[Bill Maher]

At a certain point. Yeah. I mean, look, I say pot dealer because primarily a pot dealer, but if our dealer got something else, we would sell that, too.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, damn.

[Bill Maher]

So, you know, this is the 70s.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. It's a different time.

[Bill Maher]

And I'm lucky.

[John Leguizamo]

Well, you had to make how you were gonna pay for college. You wanted education, which is a great thing. And the only way for you to get it was dealing.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, it was.

[John Leguizamo]

I'm not hating on you. I'm not hating.

[Bill Maher]

It was a victimless crime.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, college kids bring a little pleasure.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, weed is now legal everywhere. What the fuck?

[Bill Maher]

The college kids are gonna get high. If not.

[John Leguizamo]

I tutored. I t. Tutored the, the disadvantaged. I tutored handicapped kids and. And I read for the blind. That's how I paid for my college.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

And took crazy loans that, you know, ruined my credit. For 20 years.

[Bill Maher]

I read to blind children every Tuesday night. Children?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. That's. That's why. That's how I, I paid for it. I did a drug deal because, yeah, that wasn't my thing.

[Bill Maher]

But in New York, you never got, like, sucked into a drug lifestyle?

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, no, no. I grew up in that neighborhood. Everybody was like, there was so many addicts. And I was like, I'm never going to be like that as long as I live.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you don't have an addictive personality.

[John Leguizamo]

No. I have addictive personality.

[Bill Maher]

But you do. To what?

[John Leguizamo]

The caffeine and reading success.

[Bill Maher]

That's. That's everything you like is not an addiction. And some addictions are. Are good. I never understood the term sex addiction. They would say, people, he's got a sex addiction, like. And what is.

[John Leguizamo]

That's a bad thing. How is that a bad thing?

[Bill Maher]

What's the problem? What, do you get wrinkles from smiling too much? I mean, yeah. I mean, but people have gone to. I mean, Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, they're.

[John Leguizamo]

Well, it is a performative sort of act of contrition.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[John Leguizamo]

We know what they're saying.

[Bill Maher]

Well said. A performative act of contrition. They went away to.

[John Leguizamo]

They tell them Catholic, because I'm talking about contrition and. Yeah, yeah, penance.

[Bill Maher]

I was raised the same way. Catholic.

[John Leguizamo]

I'm a recovering Catholic, that's for sure.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My father thankfully pulled out and Catholics, that's their method of birth control. It is. It is.

[John Leguizamo]

That was my method for years.

[Bill Maher]

Pulled out of the church when I was 13, right before.

[John Leguizamo]

That's what I meant, out of the church. I pulled out of the church.

[Bill Maher]

So you don't. You're not Catholic anymore?

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, not at all. Not at all.

[Bill Maher]

Really? Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

No religion?

[John Leguizamo]

No. My wife's Jewish, but she's not practicing. And my kids. Yeah, they went to a crazy St. Anne's and Grace church, but they're not practicing either.

[Bill Maher]

Do they ask you about spiritual matters sometimes or say, you know, daddy, what do we believe in?

[John Leguizamo]

No, they never asked that. That's interesting. We never really talked about. Yeah, I mean, I talked to them about spirituality. I did talk to them about that. And meditation and finding. Finding your inner voice and all that stuff.

[Bill Maher]

I think it's. As far as children go. I think that kind of stuff is something you'd have to tell the kids to begin with because it's just not something that would cross their minds anyway.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, if you're eight years old, you're not like, worrying about the.

[John Leguizamo]

What do you believe in? What is your. Do you believe in God or do you believe in a higher power?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

They're not going to ask that.

[Bill Maher]

I believe in another toy.

[John Leguizamo]

That's what I believe.

[Bill Maher]

I believe in chocolate. I believe in baseball.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I believe in not getting beat up, but I talked.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, I. Obviously, you know, you want to have great philosophical conversations with them when you. When you can, but I always talk to him about spirituality and. And meditation and all those things that Matter to me that.

[Bill Maher]

Are they grown up now?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, my kids are 24 and 25. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So what's that like? I mean, can you talk to them? Exactly. Like a friend and should you?

[John Leguizamo]

I, I think at this age, if you want to have a great relationship, you gotta stop being a parent at some point. Otherwise you just scare them away.

[Bill Maher]

Right, you're right.

[John Leguizamo]

Because, because you're being judgmental, basically. Because they're not doing it the way you want it to be done. So you have to shut up a lot.

[Bill Maher]

And also. They're grown up.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, they're grown up.

[Bill Maher]

They gotta, you know, at some point they gotta let the bird fly.

[John Leguizamo]

But I'm a Latin dad. I want them to be around me 24, 7. I want them to live near me. I want, I want to, I want to have, you know, their spouses come and stay with us. I want all of that. I do. So you have to be. No, they're not married. My son's been with the same girl for about two and a half years. So, you know, they're living together.

[Bill Maher]

But you could be a grandfather at some point.

[John Leguizamo]

I would love that, man.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, that's what I'm, I'm 64. I, I, I look, I long for that.

[Bill Maher]

We're closer in age than I thought.

[John Leguizamo]

How old are you?

[Bill Maher]

69.

[John Leguizamo]

Get out of here. You're not 69. Yeah, you're just trying to impress me.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[John Leguizamo]

Show me your birth certificate.

[Bill Maher]

I am. Really? I don't believe you. What are you, Trump and I'm ICE agent? What am I? But wow, I'm really falling behind in this race to get to grandchildren because.

[John Leguizamo]

You know, dude, if you don't have.

[Bill Maher]

Kids yet, that's the poor marriage.

[John Leguizamo]

I think it's. You're going to be grandfather and father at the same time. Are you, are you planning to have kids?

[Bill Maher]

Are you kidding?

[John Leguizamo]

Well, that's a good decision.

[Bill Maher]

Of course it was a great for me. I mean, people are different.

[John Leguizamo]

So I don't think everybody has to have kids.

[Bill Maher]

We certainly don't.

[John Leguizamo]

The place is overpopulated anyway, I think. So you got to do it if that's, you know, think your mission is.

[Bill Maher]

There's a very big movement. I mean, Elon Musk is one of these guys.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh my God. Like repopulated with all the his sperm. I mean, if you're a billionaire, I guess there's, there's a lot of incentivizing.

[Bill Maher]

But he's not the only one. A lot of people are on this tip that we need to like have more babies. The Trump administration.

[John Leguizamo]

Well, what kind of babies, though? Like, babies.

[Bill Maher]

That's part of it.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah. That is part of the real. That is part of the real mission.

[Bill Maher]

I think that is definitely part of it, is that they see themselves getting outbreeded.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And it's true, you know, but I mean.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, this country was a. A Native American country. That was the big population. We were all Native American. And then until the great extermination, 95% of us disappeared off. Off the Americas. Out of the Americas.

[Bill Maher]

When you say us, you're talking about indigenous people.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean. Yeah, yeah, I'm. I'm indigenous, so.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but you're. I mean, Colombian and. Come on, this. Spanish.

[John Leguizamo]

Inca. Inca.

[Bill Maher]

Spanish blood in you too. You're not.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah, no, no, I'm not fully.

[Bill Maher]

You're not one of those, you know, with a bowler hat? You know, the ones.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, my God, the Peruvians. I love that the women adopted that hat. That is the dopest.

[Bill Maher]

What is that all about? That black.

[John Leguizamo]

It was. It was. I think it was a. A bad shipment of bowler hats that got sent to Bolivia. And, and, and the women loved them and they. And they were. A whole shipment of it and they became part of the culture. But it was a British bowler hat.

[Bill Maher]

I wonder if you looked up on pornhub. You could get one where the girl was wearing that while she's blowing a guy. I bet you.

[John Leguizamo]

I bet you can find anything.

[Bill Maher]

That's what I'm.

[John Leguizamo]

You can request that.

[Bill Maher]

You gotta go with that. I'm just curious.

[John Leguizamo]

Go on the app. Field, F, E, E, L. I don't.

[Bill Maher]

Want to do it. I don't want to see it.

[John Leguizamo]

I'm just trying to help you. I don't use field.

[Bill Maher]

Don't, don't.

[John Leguizamo]

But if you want to ask, Bondage or.

[Bill Maher]

No, I don't. I don't.

[John Leguizamo]

You want to ask. I mean, spanking or pinky up the ass. Go to field. I don't have any stake in it.

[Bill Maher]

Looking for Bolivian blowjob. And I'm not. I'm just curious about things.

[John Leguizamo]

But you're a curious man.

[Bill Maher]

I'm very curious.

[John Leguizamo]

And that's what keeps you young?

[Bill Maher]

I think so.

[John Leguizamo]

Absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I think a few things keep you.

[John Leguizamo]

What else? What else keeps you young?

[Bill Maher]

The pot. I, I, for me, Works for me. You know what else? It's. It's an energy drug for me. You know, I'm more energy. Yeah. More energetic. I would. I would never do it before I slept. That would be the opposite of.

[John Leguizamo]

Wow, that's crazy. I take them to go to sleep to get that.

[Bill Maher]

Many people do. Yeah, we all have different body.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, we do, absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

You know, that's why we all like cap and stems.

[John Leguizamo]

Make me feel the most content I've ever felt in my life. But then some of my other friends get serotonin depletion and I get so mad depressed the following day.

[Bill Maher]

You, well, you, you are definitely getting serotonin depletion from mushrooms. That's a fact. How much it affects you, like the next day?

[John Leguizamo]

Not barely.

[Bill Maher]

That's good because it's a micro dose.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I remember doing mushrooms the first or second time I did it, and it was at that point I just left college. I was just. I was living in New York in a, in an apartment. Apartment in Spanish Harlem.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, look at you. Is this Spanish again?

[Bill Maher]

90.

[John Leguizamo]

Go to your. Go to your.

[Bill Maher]

99Th Street.

[John Leguizamo]

99Th Street. Definitely Spanish Harlem.

[Bill Maher]

I remember I had one of my first jokes was like, I live in such a cultured neighborhood. Everyone is practicing their Spanish all the time.

[John Leguizamo]

Did you pick up any good words?

[Bill Maher]

Por favor? I learned.

[John Leguizamo]

That's good. Please. You always please.

[Bill Maher]

That's about it. I'm not a, I'm not a cunning linguist, but.

[John Leguizamo]

But a lingual. Cunning lingus.

[Bill Maher]

I was living on 99th Street, Spanish Harlem.

[John Leguizamo]

Spanish on the east side.

[Bill Maher]

What was I telling you? Yeah, it was a five floor walk up five floors and kept you in shape. Oh, really did. And you know, it was between 3rd and Lex.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah. Deep in it. Deep in it.

[Bill Maher]

And you know, it wasn't in the triple digits. 99th.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So you know, you're not, you're not in.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah. But it was, it was right at the border. I think the border was what, 96th street or something like that of Spanish Harlem.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah. Because my Cousin lived on 98th and 5th Avenue in Spanish Harlem.

[Bill Maher]

What were, what were the addresses? You remember?

[John Leguizamo]

And I lived in Queens, so.

[Bill Maher]

All your life?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, Corona. Oh, yeah, yeah. When I, when I, when I went to college, I went to nyu, so I was in Manhattan. Yeah. And then I lived all over the place. I lived at the Whitby.

[Bill Maher]

You must be ecstatic about the new mayor.

[John Leguizamo]

We don't have a new mayor yet, you know.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, you must be ecstatic that the Democratic candidate is.

[John Leguizamo]

Mandami Bandani.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I'm still learning the name. No disrespect.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, no. I feel disrespectful.

[Bill Maher]

You must be thrilled about that.

[John Leguizamo]

I, I like Him. Yeah, I'm a Democratic socialist, so.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, right. I mean, you're one of your, One of yours is getting in.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And. Wow. We'll see how that goes.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, that goes. I mean, we don't, we still have a long way to go. Everybody's now backing Eric Adams. Well, not, not, not everybody that, that, that I'm friends with, but I know a lot of New York. But movers and shakers are backing Eric Adams now.

[Bill Maher]

They feel like I was today, that the people Cuomo did the best with were the people that, man, I'm. Donnie was targeting the most. The, the working class. Black and Latino.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, he. Mandami did well with Latinos. He didn't do well with blacks.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, There you go.

[John Leguizamo]

I don't know why.

[Bill Maher]

I think because they've seen this movie before about being somebody who has promising stuff that cannot possibly be delivered.

[John Leguizamo]

No, he might be able to deliver. I mean, like, Eric Adams delivered. Please.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, but tough on crime.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, right.

[Bill Maher]

He wasn't. I like it.

[John Leguizamo]

He wasn't tough enough, man. I mean, I, I, I mean, New York is doing fine. I think it's doing okay. We just have to deal with the, like, you guys got to deal with the homeless situation. Yeah, but, you know, REAGAN in the 1980s, before 1980, you were able to institutionalize people.

[Bill Maher]

They, the thing they got Eric for was the connection with Turkey, the bribes. Remember that?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Like the country of Turkey. And it was like. Okay. It wasn't what he should have been doing exactly, accepting, you know, hotel rooms or whatever.

[John Leguizamo]

We shouldn't be accepting anything.

[Bill Maher]

I know, but it was like, of all the things people do in this world.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, the meme coin, Trump's meme coin, like, come on, that's real. That's a real Ponzi scheme.

[Bill Maher]

Right? Or the dude in New Jersey. Menendez.

[John Leguizamo]

Ah, Menendez.

[Bill Maher]

Sorry.

[John Leguizamo]

The Egyptian guy.

[Bill Maher]

He took.

[John Leguizamo]

How much money? Gold bricks he took.

[Bill Maher]

We're going to put one for the white. I'm going to put. When the whites get one, there, One. Menendez putting gold bricks. I'll give you that one.

[John Leguizamo]

I'll give you that one.

[Bill Maher]

Menendez putting gold bricks. Okay.

[John Leguizamo]

And his wife, too. She was taking the other gold bricks.

[Bill Maher]

Of all the corrupt things that people do to, like, be like that. Apoplectic about his.

[John Leguizamo]

I know, but not mad about hotel room from Turkey.

[Bill Maher]

Like, Turkey. But, you know, okay, so he did some favors for Turkey. It just, it reminded me of when they threw Winona Ryder out of show business for, like, 12 years because she shoplifted. I'm like, of all the crazy things that people do and the. And the sins and the crimes and the shitty stuff.

[John Leguizamo]

That's insane. I mean, they're canceling.

[Bill Maher]

Deal breaker for you. Is that you?

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, that wasn't my deal breaker for you.

[Bill Maher]

No, not for you. But I'm just saying, like, there was just no rhyme or reason.

[John Leguizamo]

His mismanagement is what bugs me.

[Bill Maher]

No rhyme or reason to, like, the punishment level for the crime that goes on in show business. People do the worst sort of things and the punishment is fairly benign. And then they do nothing. Like shoplift. I mean, so she had a bad day and just wanted to lift. I don't know.

[John Leguizamo]

She wanted some stuff that she liked and she didn't want to pay for.

[Bill Maher]

She just was having a moment and said, opie, nail polish. I'm gonna just take it, take it.

[John Leguizamo]

And it's like.

[Bill Maher]

And you can't.

[John Leguizamo]

Who hasn't shoplifted in their life? Come on. I shoplifted a ton when I was a kid.

[Bill Maher]

Baseball cards.

[John Leguizamo]

Baseball cards, toys.

[Bill Maher]

All I cared about was, oh, toys.

[John Leguizamo]

I always wanted toys.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

Did you play baseball growing up?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[John Leguizamo]

What. What position?

[Bill Maher]

I. Well, I was a second baseman.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, you got to have a good arm.

[Bill Maher]

I also a pitcher. I remember one of my wonderful moments was I was brought in as a relief pitcher and, like, won the big game.

[John Leguizamo]

I remember, Remember.

[Bill Maher]

I remember leaving. I remember leaving Hoffman Field.

[John Leguizamo]

That's the best feeling, man.

[Bill Maher]

And, like, people, it was like my first.

[John Leguizamo]

You felt like a star?

[Bill Maher]

First time I ever felt like a star. Yeah, yeah. Like, fatted me on the back. And like, I was. And I was like.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And I must have been all of 8 years old or something. Oh, 8. Well, it was. It was Little League. It was Pee Wee League. And my father was the coach of the team. Cause he worked nights, radio. So he did, like, we could practice on a Wednesday afternoon or something. And, you know, he kind of was, like, more hard on me because he wanted to, like, overcompensate for being dad. The coach.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So, like, I should have been the starting pitcher. I had a very strong army. And he put this other guy who just grooved it, and they started to, like, light him up. And they brought me in and I.

[John Leguizamo]

Close your closer, man. Close your clutch. That's the most fun, man.

[Bill Maher]

And I was a little wild, which scared the kids. That probably, you know, I was a little Don Drysdale. Like, fuck you. Get off that old chin music. Maybe.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Come on, get out of Here.

[Bill Maher]

Maybe you'll be crowding the plane, but are you a big Mets fan?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I'm a big Mets because I'm from Queensland.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I was a minority owner for 10 years. No, absolutely. With the Wilpongs, the will ponds from 2011.

[John Leguizamo]

Steve Cohen is now the owner. He's great. One who bought his wife's Puerto Rican. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Part of whatever money I do have is partly because of Steve Cohen.

[John Leguizamo]

Really.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just comfortable.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, good, good.

[Bill Maher]

You know, you deserve to be comfortable. Absolutely.

[John Leguizamo]

I'm not. I'm not.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not begrudging you all the years that I did stand up. I just stopped doing it six months ago. All those years, I always took a private plane. That was my.

[John Leguizamo]

That was your thing? That was your guilty pleasure. Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

I wanted it. Exactly.

[John Leguizamo]

How much was that? I mean, it's not that. Well, I mean, plainly, you didn't own the plane. You just rented it every time.

[Bill Maher]

Because I didn't want it.

[John Leguizamo]

50K.

[Bill Maher]

Didn't want to own one. Depends on where you went.

[John Leguizamo]

Right?

[Bill Maher]

I mean, you could. You could go to Vegas or san francisco for 15 from here.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah, yeah. So close by.

[Bill Maher]

New York. No.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, it was gonna be like a 60, 70. Yeah, yeah, maybe. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

If you want to get home.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, if you don't want to drop in the middle.

[Bill Maher]

On the way back, you were fighting the wind. So you refuel into the west in Kansas. You know, I've taken a few.

[John Leguizamo]

That was my life.

[Bill Maher]

But that ate up a lot of the profit from.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But I wouldn't have done the gigs if I couldn't have done it that way, you know, And I'm sure.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, to draw. I mean, you're not going to drive there.

[Bill Maher]

No, I mean, I tape real time on Friday.

[John Leguizamo]

You're not going to bus it? Have you done the tour buses?

[Bill Maher]

I literally couldn't have gotten there. Oh, I did once. Yes. When I was young.

[John Leguizamo]

It's exhausting. I couldn't sleep. And then I had to do a show and then another show.

[Bill Maher]

The bed was a hammock.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

This was the Frankie Valli tour. I was opening for him in 1982. 20th anniversary of Sherry, Sherry.

[John Leguizamo]

Sherry.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, so.

[John Leguizamo]

So singing's not your thing.

[Bill Maher]

Not my thing at all.

[John Leguizamo]

You were opening for, but not singing.

[Bill Maher]

You were opening, doing comedy.

[John Leguizamo]

Thank God.

[Bill Maher]

I was the chimpanzee. I was the chimp up there while they were getting their seats and I was on the tour bus and man, yes, it was a hammock. That's what you slept in while the. A hammock on a bus. Oh my God.

[John Leguizamo]

Bouncing the whole entire time. I was nauseous.

[Bill Maher]

I didn't sleep a wink.

[John Leguizamo]

No, I couldn't. And then I had to do a show, a two hour show by myself and one man show.

[Bill Maher]

No. I got to the next gig and of course it was blinding light. It was nine in the morning or whatever. We drove all night. I went to the hotel and went to sleep. The crew had to like go to work.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh yeah.

[Bill Maher]

If they didn't sleep on the bus, they just didn't sleep. They went right from the bus to building the stage. That is a.

[John Leguizamo]

That's a rugged life. That's tough.

[Bill Maher]

You know, it's a. Touring is not.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, touring, it can be inspiring and amazing, but it can also be freaking exhausting.

[Bill Maher]

You know, it's exhausting. Acting.

[John Leguizamo]

Acting.

[Bill Maher]

I just did, you know what you do in the 80s? I was. Did a lot of acting. Did sitcoms and silly.

[John Leguizamo]

I didn't know that.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

What shows? What shows?

[Bill Maher]

Okay, well, my debut was as a guest star on Alice.

[John Leguizamo]

Alice. I love that show.

[Bill Maher]

I did. I played a cop who arrested Flo or one of the dingbats who. Then I did. I did two episodes of Murder She Wrote as a guest star.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, Angela Landsberg.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely.

[John Leguizamo]

That was in the. That was 90s. That was 90s.

[Bill Maher]

DC Cab.

[John Leguizamo]

DC Cab.

[Bill Maher]

Winner of 11 Academy Awards. Pizza man, of course. Which everyone remembers. I mean. Yeah. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. I mean, I did a lot of. And then I did a lot of B movies series. Well, B to you. I did.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Be to everybody.

[Bill Maher]

Sarah with Geena Davis in 1985.

[John Leguizamo]

Geena Davis.

[Bill Maher]

How tall was she?

[John Leguizamo]

Huh?

[Bill Maher]

She was tall.

[John Leguizamo]

Tall. Drink of water.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[John Leguizamo]

Did you hit on her?

[Bill Maher]

No, it was. It was great. I mean, every guy I knew was like, oh my God, you're working with Geena Davis. She's a beautiful woman. Not my type.

[John Leguizamo]

Not your type.

[Bill Maher]

And it just. So we. There was no sexual misconception. Mischemvish.

[John Leguizamo]

So you had a great time, right?

[Bill Maher]

Then I did a Showtime when Showtime was a network starting out called Hard Knocks. I was two, if you can believe it, John, two mismatched detectives.

[John Leguizamo]

And who was the other detective?

[Bill Maher]

Tommy Hinckley. He was a redneck and I was a hippie. We were mismatched.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah. Odd Couple. The Odd Couple.

[Bill Maher]

It was the odd Couple as detective.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two strange guys together and. And she wouldn't.

[Bill Maher]

Right Hilarity ensues Hilarity Mayhem. I did a series with Sam Kinison.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, the late, great Sam. Oh, I love that guy.

[Bill Maher]

That's not how I felt about him after we worked together, but he was an ass. Well, he was on heroin, so he was always.

[John Leguizamo]

I didn't know. I didn't know he was.

[Bill Maher]

Keep everybody waiting for, like eight hours while he was like this in the makeup chair. So, you know. But that was called Charlie Hoover, and he played a little miniaturized devil on the main character's shoulder. They mini. Okay. And I was, of course, the office creep.

[John Leguizamo]

Of course.

[Bill Maher]

Of course, Typecast. I did The Movie House 2, the sequel to House. Remember House?

[John Leguizamo]

No. Which was House.

[Bill Maher]

House.

[John Leguizamo]

Is that a horror movie?

[Bill Maher]

It was a horrible movie.

[John Leguizamo]

Horror, Horrible. What's the differ.

[Bill Maher]

No, it was. The first one was such a hit, they made a sequel. It was like a comedy about a haunted house.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Bill Maher]

I know what you're talking about, and I almost.

[John Leguizamo]

Who did you play in that?

[Bill Maher]

Not the part I wanted. I was. They were looking at me really hard for this, I guess the, like, the lead. And I think Michael McKean got it.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, Michael McKean. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. So I'm still bitter about that.

[John Leguizamo]

Great actor.

[Bill Maher]

So, yes, I had quite the career.

[John Leguizamo]

You have a resume there, that's for sure.

[Bill Maher]

So, anyway, last week, my new friend Chris Pratt, he does a great series on Amazon called the Terminalist. He plays a Navy seal, and he wanted me to do, you know, lens and spotlight cameo. Well, as myself on the set with, you know, two of the people who. I know. Cause I watch the series that are. And it's as if, you know, to lend verisimilitude to the situation. So. But it was like a three page scene. I mean, so I wanted to do my best. I. I learned my lines and we shot it after the last taping of Real Time. It took a couple hours. And I just remembered, wow, this is hard. First of all, learning lines.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, my God. At our age, forget it. That is like a.

[Bill Maher]

How do you do it, dude?

[John Leguizamo]

It's not easy anymore. I used to have photographic memories.

[Bill Maher]

It's really.

[John Leguizamo]

But it's. Now there's a lens cap over it.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know.

[John Leguizamo]

It's foggy. My. My photographic memory does not photograph anymore. I have to spend months learning lines now.

[Bill Maher]

Months?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I mean, especially like. Like the series Smoke I did. I had so much dialogue, I had to learn it months ahead because it's five episodes that I'm in, and I. And I had it like, I had a ton of dialogue, like pages. It's a lot of work.

[Bill Maher]

And then there's a lot of waiting in acting. Just wait. And you know, they pay you to.

[John Leguizamo]

Wait is what they say.

[Bill Maher]

But it's like you can never really relax when you're waiting. No, you're not relaxed because you're gonna do another take.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So you can't like, let your mind.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, you can't.

[Bill Maher]

So you're kind of like anxious all day.

[John Leguizamo]

You're like in a. You're like in a coma state. You're just like frozen and then, you know, waiting for. To be called on to give your best.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[John Leguizamo]

Emotions.

[Bill Maher]

And maybe your best take is not gonna get used because they were on somebody else or because there was a plane or something.

[John Leguizamo]

The best take is always off camera when you're doing off camera for somebody. And I've talked to every actor and they all say Matt Damon, Tom Holland, they all say that your best take is always off camera when you're relaxed and you go, oh, that's what the fucking scene was. Because you're relaxed and you're not tense anymore.

[Bill Maher]

That's what I'm saying. It's a maddening business if people.

[John Leguizamo]

You know, it's a high, but it's a high.

[Bill Maher]

It is a high.

[John Leguizamo]

When you do get it right. You want to chase that magical nothing. Nothing in life equates to it.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. When you nail it in your close up.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. You know, like, you feel that in comedy as well. Same thing.

[Bill Maher]

You feel it. Yeah, yeah, but comedy, I don't have to remember lines exactly. You know, I don't have to.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, so we did different.

[Bill Maher]

I'm saying my own line.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine would all script it. My one man shows are very written.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

And I'll improvise a little bit, but most of it is like really structured. And yeah, it's a different thing.

[Bill Maher]

You're riffing, but it's.

[John Leguizamo]

You like, you're like on a subconscious level. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You have a structure, but you can, you know, you can drift from shore knowing you'll come back to shore. But. But this acting, I mean, like, I tell the guy, they set it all up and like, man, the equipment they have these days, it's like so insane from what I remember. You know, like they have this camera, like it looks like that thing in Dune. It's like this giant snake that comes right at you from 30ft away.

[John Leguizamo]

The Jenny. The Jenny and the cranes.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, my God, 200.

[John Leguizamo]

I just did a Chris Nolan movie. The Odyssey.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[John Leguizamo]

I had never seen the Odyssey. Oh, it's incredible.

[Bill Maher]

Who do you play?

[John Leguizamo]

I play Eumaeus, the most loyal character in Western literature. That's how he sold it to me. And.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, probably true.

[John Leguizamo]

No, it is true.

[Bill Maher]

But that is the cradle of civilization. The Odyssey.

[John Leguizamo]

Well, I mean, we're talking Western European literature. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. But it's 800 BC.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. I mean, it's incredible. I love the Odyssey. Come on. I love it.

[Bill Maher]

And the Odyssey is just always great.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah. It's a great read. It's a great read.

[Bill Maher]

It's a great read.

[John Leguizamo]

I mean, do you remember Jason and the Argonauts?

[Bill Maher]

Vaguely. Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Those movies were kind of similar. Base and bad.

[Bill Maher]

The Sailor, he was a Greek mythology character. So, like, do your. When you were younger and your kids were younger, would you make certain movies that the kids would like? Oh, Daddy's in this one. And that was like.

[John Leguizamo]

I did Join the Explorer Door for them.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, you. For them, yeah, yeah, for them.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. So they could hear my voice, but they didn't really. I don't know if they really liked that. I tried not to work as much, that's for sure. I tried to be home a lot more for myself.

[Bill Maher]

What about when you played a bad guy? Because you have a great range. I mean, I've seen you play really. You know, the bad guy's always the fun.

[John Leguizamo]

The funner roles, the most exciting roles. You can really do fun things with that. Yeah, I enjoyed that. I mean, yeah, I tried. Once you have kids, you do think about your legacy, and you do think about what am I putting out into the airwaves. And I tried to play a lot less villains because I just didn't want to put that out there, you know? I mean, I wanted my kids to see me in ways that were more positive, especially being a Latin man. I didn't want to be always a villain because there was so many roles for villain dude. When I started out, the Ross Report. Do you remember the Ross Report came out every Monday and told you what roles were available? It was like Jim Crow. It'd be like, white actor, white lawyer, white doctor.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

White lover, Latino drug dealer. And they wouldn't see you for any other role except the drug dealer. So I was like, you know, my chances of making it in this business are gonna be difficult.

[Bill Maher]

I did a piece on my show a couple of years ago, probably around Oscar time, about. And I. You know, I've since become friends with this director, Nancy Myers.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, Nancy Myers. Yeah, yeah. Complicated.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, many. Yeah.

[John Leguizamo]

A ton of great rom coms. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And you know, we laughed at it when I finally met her because she turned out to be a big fan and she said, boy, I saw you kind of go after me. I was not going after her. I just used one of her movies as an example to say that for all the people who think they're so liberal, if you look at movies only from 15 years ago, you will see movies that are like so amazingly completely white. And these are made by the biggest liberal artists. We're not talking about 1975.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no.

[Bill Maher]

We're talking about 2010. And you could see lots of movies where they, the I, I were making jokes about. I said, you know, there looks like you would need a, you know, a restraining order to. It's crazy to get people.

[John Leguizamo]

They were so all white. They were all white cast. It was insane.

[Bill Maher]

And she's not. And she wasn't the only. I could have picked so many different movies from that.

[John Leguizamo]

That was an example.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, it was just an example you were going after. All these super liberal people were in her movies. Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep and it was Steve Martin. It's like these people who are like.

[John Leguizamo]

Who are really liberal.

[Bill Maher]

The liberalist of the liberal wokest. And I'm like.

[John Leguizamo]

But they weren't aware.

[Bill Maher]

They weren't aware of the situation that long ago. And you were completely okay to make a movie where again, there must have been a restraining order.

[John Leguizamo]

No, I agree with you.

[Bill Maher]

People of color keep 500 yards.

[John Leguizamo]

You must stay away because it's a white only movie.

[Bill Maher]

And it's just like, like it's just saying that we all. Life moves at the pace it's gonna move. Yes, we should always be trying to move it faster, but it's only gonna move as fast as it's gonna move. Even among the people who are supposedly the most enlightened.

[John Leguizamo]

Right. No, I agree with you. I mean, I feel like liberals are trying to do the best they can, but they aren't always aware of what's going on. I mean they don't, they're not totally aware. And it's our job, activists to make them aware, to bring it into the forefront and to not let people forget the issues. I mean. Yeah, that's what we gotta do.

[Bill Maher]

I'm glad you're out there doing that.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah, I gotta do.

[Bill Maher]

And I'm glad. I mean, I'm wrapping it up. Cause they told me you have to get to a thing, so. I know you do, but.

[John Leguizamo]

What a pleasure, man.

[Bill Maher]

Total pleasure.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, yeah. It's always a blessing.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so glad that we can, like, not agree on everything and still be friends. Cause I always liked you.

[John Leguizamo]

What do we have to agree with?

[Bill Maher]

You always entertain me so well. Seen you in a trillion things over the years. And it's always like, oh, you know, that guy's good. He's just good. You know, he's entertaining. And he does. You deliver.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. Like you do. You. You used to deliver.

[Bill Maher]

I never phone it in, I'll tell you.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no. You got the. The biggest show in podcast ever.

[Bill Maher]

Am I?

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. I think that's why I'm here.

[Bill Maher]

I think that's Joe. That's what I was told by my public. I think that's Joe Rogan.

[John Leguizamo]

No, no, I think you're. I think you're about to. Un cedo.

[Bill Maher]

We're. No, but we're. We're doing. Baby, come on, let me grab this. Because we're going to do one last thing. And while I do. Yes, I'm sorry.

[John Leguizamo]

And what do you get out of this? Is a raffle?

[Bill Maher]

No, it looks like that. But before you do, plug Luizamo does America.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. So I got this MSNBC show on the very liberal network. Msnbc.

[Bill Maher]

They call it MSDNC at the White House.

[John Leguizamo]

Oh, they. That's fucked up. But this show is. I go around America looking for Latin excellence, Latin exceptionalism. Genius. And I go to six different cities every season. And this time I went to Philadelphia, Denver, San Antonio, Phoenix and Raleigh.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[John Leguizamo]

Yeah. And then I meet all these great Latino activists, Latino politicians, chefs, artists, actors. Yeah. And we sit down and we talk.

[Bill Maher]

Like, when does this start?

[John Leguizamo]

This starts July 6th.

[Bill Maher]

July 6th. Perfect timing.

[John Leguizamo]

What a pleasure, Bill. Thank you for having me in your mansion.

[Bill Maher]

Not a mansion, just a piece of land.

[John Leguizamo]

You know how long it took me to walk here? It was like. It was like a 15 minute walk from the. The entrance. It works.

[Bill Maher]

That's what we like about California.