Seth MacFarlane | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

Summary

Club Random with Bill Maher

Episode: Seth MacFarlane | January 15, 2026

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Overview

In this lively and wide-ranging conversation, Bill Maher sits down with Seth MacFarlane—creator of Family Guy, American Dad, and voice of Ted—to discuss everything from Hollywood party culture and classic comedy to the perils of marriage, social media, the role of science, and the future of entertainment. The episode weaves personal anecdotes, industry insights, and thoughtful (and often hilarious) debates on modern issues like AI, the COVID-19 pandemic, generational change, and the responsibility of media and politicians.

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Episode Highlights

1. Hollywood Friendship and Creative Banter

• Bill and Seth’s friendship sets a relaxed tone, providing candid insights and riffs on one another’s careers.
• They reference Seth’s Christmas album and upcoming projects, like the Ted TV series, and share behind-the-scenes stories from both work and Hollywood parties.
• Seth recalls childhood obsessions (Woody Woodpecker) and how Bill was already a comedy presence on TV in the early '80s.
• [06:39] Bill Maher: “The two Ted movies. The second one maybe almost even better, but they are both just such a scream.”
• [08:07] Bill Maher reads his own old Vanity Fair profile of Seth, full of tongue-in-cheek accolades and admiration.

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2. The Craft of Comedy, Animation, and Outrage Culture

• Discuss how changes in culture and platforms like social media made some forms of humor (“making fun of the ignorant”) more precarious.
• Note the creative freedom animation offers compared to live-action and how it shields creators from direct backlash.
• [29:47] Seth MacFarlane: “I'm delivering the jokes through the mouths of animated characters. It's very different the way it's perceived.”
• Touched on the challenge of satire in the Trump era and how political “brands”—on both sides—prioritize performativity over governance.

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3. Parties, Fame, and Hollywood Social Life

• Seth describes his infamous Christmas parties and the social consequences of growing guest lists.
• Bill compares these industry gatherings to his own “rap parties” for Real Time, both as rituals of gratitude and networking whirlwinds.
• [22:11] Seth MacFarlane: “We invited most of the Shriners… Like Microsoft was here last week, and now it’s Seth’s Christmas party.”

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4. Changing Generations and Media Consumption

• Debates about “slacker” Gen X stereotypes versus Gen Z’s supposed hypersensitivity—both ultimately agreeing that generational divides are more nuanced than headlines suggest.
• [57:19] Seth MacFarlane: “I think we are much more similar than we are different.”
• The transformative impact of social media’s “noise,” the declining value of traditional news, and how online echo chambers rewire personal and political perceptions.
• [31:13] Seth MacFarlane: “I feel like I’m adding to the noise. I feel like I’m watching.”

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5. AI, Medicine, and the Future of Knowledge

• Seth and Bill agree AI will have enormous positive effects on medicine but raise alarms on its entertainment impact.
• The debate escalates into a spirited discussion on the limitations and fallibility of “experts” and the value/risks of lay research—especially as related to COVID-19 and medical consensus.
• [36:00] Seth MacFarlane: “If you are a doctor yourself and you’re going on Google, you can cull the bullshit from the facts.”

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6. COVID-19, Vaccines, and the Media (Main Debate)

• The pod’s most charged—and substantial—section: Bill and Seth argue over vaccine policy, media trust, “natural immunity,” and public health messaging during the pandemic.
• Bill criticizes blanket vaccine policies and demands skepticism of scientific and media authority; Seth defends pandemic public health policy, the scientific method, and institutional expertise.
• Notable back-and-forths include:
  • [41:10] Seth MacFarlane: “Don’t you think that the vitriol and just the aggression towards that, the anti-vaccination movement... weakens our public health system?”
  • [39:01] Bill Maher: “No, I don’t think that’s right.” (on child deaths from COVID-19 vs. the vaccine)
  • [42:46] Seth MacFarlane: “But then why vaccinate for anything?”
  • [100:33] Bill Maher: “Missouri vs Biden… Media companies colluded with the government to keep information out of our hands.”

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7. The Evolving Entertainment Industry

• Jokes about Hollywood’s obsession with “reboots” and recycling old IPs.
• Speculate about the possibility of intentionally remaking serious movies as comedies.
• [54:23] Seth MacFarlane: “Maybe that’s a thing—like we take movies that are written as dramas and you remake them as a comedy.”

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8. On Marriage, Aging, and Meaning

• Both express skepticism about the institution of marriage.
• Bill and Seth reflect on the realities of long-term relationships, the allure of weddings, and the difference between being “alone” and “lonely”.
• [46:35] Bill Maher: “I certainly don’t see the need to bring the federal and state government into my love life.”
• [76:24] Seth MacFarlane: “Well, I don’t know. You get old enough and maybe it just becomes a necessity.” (on helping one another in old age)
• Funny riffs about aging, medical exams, and how friendship outlasts romantic entanglements.

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9. Classic Hollywood, Music, and Personal Taste

• The pair reminisce about Sinatra albums, classic movies they love (and missed), and the differences between watching films as a couple vs. alone.
• [62:44] Seth MacFarlane: “I want to come do your show again, but you gotta come over. I live like five minutes from you… We'll just be two men alone in the screening room watching Back to the Future.”
• End the show celebrating their mutual affection for classic pop standards, especially Sinatra’s “A Man Alone.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• “Animation lets creators get away with murder.” – [00:30] Bill Maher
• “I could be living under the underpass, and I would have that [Quagmire sketch] with me. I'm joking. I would have fucking sold it.” – [108:30] Bill Maher
• “It's gold in them hills.” – [13:30] Seth MacFarlane
• “We don't have a trunk full of props.” – [90:45] Seth MacFarlane, on their brand of comedy
• “You look great, by the way.” – [66:50] Bill Maher, playfully referencing Seth's ageless look
• “There’s nothing I love more than to argue with people I love.” – [116:25] Seth MacFarlane

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Useful Timestamps

• [06:39] — Discussion of Ted TV series and movies
• [21:39] — Seth’s notorious Christmas parties & the “Gatsby” comparison
• [29:47] — The role of anonymity and animation in edgy comedy
• [31:13] — Social media’s effect on mental health and creative expression
• [34:06] — AI in medicine vs. entertainment
• [36:00]-[43:21] — COVID-19, vaccines, and the limits of expertise
• [54:23] — The “reboot everything as comedy” pitch
• [66:50] — Reflections on aging and looking great
• [115:07] — Sinatra’s “A Man Alone” and musical nostalgia
• [116:19] — Heartfelt sendoff: “Anytime, my friend.”

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Final Notes

Tone: Conversational, irreverent, intellectual, and at times deeply personal—plenty of mutual respect with good-natured teasing. Bill and Seth’s rapport carries the episode through both light and substantive territory, making it as entertaining as it is thought-provoking.

For Listeners: This episode is not just a walk through Hollywood nostalgia and comedic craft; it's a candid, funny, and sometimes poignant take on how creators navigate a changing world—both in culture and in aging. It serves up classic Maher skepticism, MacFarlane’s pop-culture fluency, and sharp insight into what it means to be an artist (and a grown-up) in the 2020s.

Transcript

[Bill Maher]

Well, in this month's Club Random Classics, we revisit a conversation with my good friend, oh, Seth MacFarlane. I love him. The brilliant mind behind some of your favorite cartoons. He's also a very big front of the camera star. We swap on set stories, singing flubs, and why animation lets creators get away with murder, then dig into the bigger stuff. AI Hollywood endlessly recycling itself and what it all means for writers and comedians. It's more fun than the Internet deserves and exactly the kind of grown up conversation nobody else is really having. So light something. Lean back and enjoy another episode of Club Random Classics.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Club Random.

[Bill Maher]

I'm so. I don't usually have all these props. I'm usually very unencumbered. But I'm very verklempt that you're here. You know that. I mean, I don't see you enough.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I know I don't.

[Bill Maher]

You're one of those Hollywood people like me, who. How do you get them to be. You work with them. Yeah, yeah, we're just that way. Anyway, let me do your plugs before. All right. Take this seriously. January. Oh, that's me.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Right. Okay, so we're dropping this on the 29th, the next day. That's December 30th. Ah, right. You're doing a live show with Liz Gillies at the Smith center, which is in Vegas. Las Vegas.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Las Vegas, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Christmas album. We wish you the merriest. I have your one with little Jack Frost at Las Vegas.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, you do?

[Bill Maher]

Of course.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, well, God damn it. I should have brought you the new one.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, you should have.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Fucking.

[Bill Maher]

Hey.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, I'll have someone send it over.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. And that's with your girl.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Liz Gillies.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, no.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, you mean Nora Jones.

[Bill Maher]

Nora Jones, yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

On the original. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Who was so funny. Was it one or two? Ted.

[Seth MacFarlane]

She was in Ted one.

[Bill Maher]

Right. I remember he says, Durant, thanks for 9 11. It's so great. Apparently.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know what? I forgot, too? I forgot that that line was added after the shoot as a piece of loop.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Seth MacFarlane]

And God, thank God she's got the sense of humor.

[Bill Maher]

Well, it's so funny because you can't get mad at it. Because it's ignorant.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes, exactly.

[Bill Maher]

So you can always, you know, there's. We're making fun of the ignorant. Which it is exactly right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's exactly right.

[Bill Maher]

The younger generation has sort of forgotten that mode of comedy.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Has the show started?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay, great.

[Bill Maher]

Well.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So this is the show.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. There's never any.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, look, there's no preamble.

[Bill Maher]

There's nothing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is. What's random about it?

[Bill Maher]

What do you think? What do you think I'm reading plugs? This is the first time I've ever read anybody's plugs right away. But I wanted to.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is. I said this is. You're good. You're good. I don't, you know, don't buy it.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, and look, I almost. I accidentally fell into a segue. Ted. The TV series, not the movie with Nora Jones. Oh, my God. Who did not start 9 11.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no, not at all. It was nowhere near there.

[Bill Maher]

But that's why I love that joke. It's just. It's dumb because she is. Of course not. Anyway. But even if she was, you know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What? Involved.

[Bill Maher]

Muslim, right? Well, she's Indian. Yes, but it certainly was not the Indian. No, no, no.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Wow. So it just gets even worse from here, huh? They were only in the first five minutes.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, did you hear about the chick on Onlyfans who half lost her? Who lost a candy cane in her. No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

How does that. How do you get.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you know what all Onlyfans is?

[Seth MacFarlane]

I do, I do, I do.

[Bill Maher]

Have you ever on the World Wide Web. The World Wide Web? Have you ever broadband, that whole thing? Yes. Have you ever been.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I have not. I have not visited Onlyfans.

[Bill Maher]

No, I was gonna say do it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, have I done Onlyfans?

[Bill Maher]

I'm joking. I don't think you're doing Onlyfans.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, look, you know, you gotta be open to all career possibilities, and.

[Bill Maher]

I would be very, very shocked if you even went on Onlyfans. As opposed to me?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Who have you been on Onlyfans?

[Bill Maher]

As opposed to me, who wouldn't know how.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah. That's kind of where I fall as well.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, come on.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I need a lot of help with technology.

[Bill Maher]

You.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yes.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I thought we were. I thought we were bios apart on that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no, no, no. At some point in my 20s, that kind of. It all went away. Like, I could. I. When they stopped using, like, coaxial cables and like, RCA jacks, it all went away for me. Like, oh, I can. If you need a VCR hooked up, I'm your guy. But beyond that, I'm useless.

[Bill Maher]

I once went out to Snoop Dogg's car. I think this was politically Incorrect. Jason. Yeah, I don't know why we were walking out together, but it was well before you could, like, smoke pot. Well, you still can't smoke pot in the halls of cbs, but it was really outrageous.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, so that's a network policy?

[Bill Maher]

Come on, it's America. But he was. As we were walking out and then we got to the parking lot and he had an eight track.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, that's great.

[Bill Maher]

And I said, snoop. I mean, why do you have an eight track in his car? Yes. And he said, gots to keep it real, Bill. I don't really understand why that makes it realer.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But I remember my grandmother used to have an eight track player in her car. And for whatever reason, when I was five years old, the second I would get in the car with her, I would insist that she play Eddie Arnold.

[Bill Maher]

Eddie Arnold.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Eddie Arnold. There was an Eddie Arnold 8 track she had. I had to hear it every time we were in the car.

[Bill Maher]

Remind me, Eddie Arnold, he's like a country singer. Yes. Wasn't he Colonel Parker's first. I think that's who Colonel Parker had before he had Elvis. That was his name.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It was Eddie Arnold.

[Bill Maher]

I believe so. I believe that was his claim to.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Now, that's random. They told me I had to say.

[Bill Maher]

That once.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So we got it out of the way.

[Bill Maher]

But we appreciate. Twice. No, really. I think Eddie Arnold, as I recall, was, yes. A country star.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I think that was Colonel Parker's big client. That gave him that credibility to. Oh, God, I forgot. Ted, the TV series drops January 11th. I cannot wait for this.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

The two Ted movies. The second one maybe almost even better, but they are both just such a scream.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, you'll enjoy this. You'll enjoy this.

[Bill Maher]

Of course I will.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That is just some of those things I've seen so many times when they're in the firm lab. Throwing Tom Brady the perfect.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, it's a pie fight with cum.

[Bill Maher]

It's just.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, it's vaudevillian and filthy.

[Bill Maher]

No, but that is one of your genius creations. That little bear.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, he turned out well. He turned out well. And To Peacock and NBC's credit, they said, listen, we want this to be like the movies. You don't have to pull anything back. We want this to be what it always. And to their credit, they did not waver on that.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, no one would fuck with you at this point. No, they wouldn't. You're in that. We don't fuck with him anymore stage.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You're a boy genius, which can be good and bad.

[Bill Maher]

You're kind of Orson Wellian, like, you know, but don't get fat.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Ah, the French.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. And don't. No, he would. I think he'd already peaked by 50.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

All right. You're gonna be 50 aren't you?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, let's go with. Gonna be.

[Bill Maher]

I can't believe this. 24, right?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Sure. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, this. Isn't that your big year?

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is the. It's coming. It's coming.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that's one of the things I brought. Do you remember me? I never do this on this show. Not that this is a show, but do you remember me writing this? But I did a thing for Vanity Fair. They must have asked me to profile you. Wikipedia says that Seth MacFarlane is an actor, voice actor, animator, screenwriter, producer, director and singer. And it would be great if I could just cut and paste the rest of their entry right here and go have a drink with Seth MacFarlane. He drinks, Jack.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bill Maher]

And he does not become a mean drunk, which I think says a lot about a person's character. I've seen him in crowds, and he literally suffers fools gladly. Seth was raised in Connecticut, and his allegiance to the spirit of New England is genuine. You can tell his mother and father raised him right, which I find to be a delightful quality in a human being. As a boy, Seth was a girl, and I mean that in a good way. Boys are immature and unfocused, but Seth knew what he wanted to do in life. When he was two by five, he understood the concept of getting in the animation business.

[Seth MacFarlane]

God, did I suck your dick before or after this?

[Bill Maher]

At 24, he was the youngest executive producer in television ever. He's still not 40, the bastard. And he runs an empire that includes not just the Golden Goose, Family Guy, but also American dad, the Cleveland show, the forthcoming Flintstones remake, a burgeoning career as a seriously good singer, albeit completely in the wrong decade, and now a movie director of the soon to be released Ted. Okay.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

He's the Ryan Seacrest of talent.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What the fuck?

[Bill Maher]

Anyway.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Nice when a guy can appreciate his own jokes. Ten years later, what was the context of that? Was that this was a article or something.

[Bill Maher]

Obviously, Ted was about to come out.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And so they. You know, I remember you did it for me a couple of times.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's right.

[Bill Maher]

Magazine. We were kind of. I think they call that log rolling.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Is that what they call it?

[Bill Maher]

Praise? Yes. When you know the praise your book and then you praise mine, you know. Exactly. Goes a lot. It goes on a lot in literature, literary circles. Norman Mailer loves, you know, Gore Vidal's latest one. And Gore Vidal loves. And then this. David Mamet, he sent me this today. This is really funny. It's a Woody Woodpecker.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

And it's did he draw that? Yes, he draws. He turns out these drawings. I have a number of them here. Woody Woodpecker was not actually funny. He was funny for a woodpecker. Isn't that perfect?

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's perfect.

[Bill Maher]

I am totally. I mean, what. I love this.

[Seth MacFarlane]

God, I was obsessed when I was a kid with Woody Woodpecker. That was like my favorite cartoon of all the cartoons. In about first grade through third grade, it was like, woody Woodpecker. And then I got older, and I kind of fell more into that camp. Like, he's kind of.

[Bill Maher]

I watched no cartoons as a child. I was very snobby about that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You were just Walter Cronkite from the second. You're out of the womb.

[Bill Maher]

No, Seth. But I, for some reason, at a very young age, felt like that only film. Like Superman.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Three Stooges.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But no, really? No cartoon.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So like the original Superman. The original Superman, Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I'm talking. Yeah, we're talking about, like, 1960, when I was 4 years old or something.

[Seth MacFarlane]

There are so many great jokes about that show, and I wish that I've heard from standups over the years is who does the joke?

[Bill Maher]

Seinfeld, probably about, like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

He gets shot and he doesn't move. He's got his hands on his hip. The bullets ricochet. And the second the guy runs out of bullets and throws the gun, he does.

[Bill Maher]

He's got.

[Seth MacFarlane]

He tucks out of the way.

[Bill Maher]

Does he?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

That's funny.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Well, Jerry had the first one about a pair of glasses is a dynamite disguise, you know, which here's.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Tell me if you heard this. And I wish. God damn. If I could remember the comedian's name. It's a woman in Boston. And if you're listening, ma', am, this is a very funny joke. And I can't remember what her name was. Had a joke on Twitter about the intro to Superman, and it was the guy who said, it's a bird. What was he so excited about? I thought that was genius.

[Bill Maher]

That is genius. And that's why, you know, I'm not really the ultimate kind of observational comic. You know, you have to observe. But I still have bits, lots of bits over the years that are not political and are observational, but those kind of. When you do any kind of observational and somebody gets to one like that, you go, oh, there was that diamond lying on the ground.

[Seth MacFarlane]

We all missed it.

[Bill Maher]

And we all just walked right past it. We all could have seen it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, that's a big one. That's a Big one. That's a precious stone.

[Bill Maher]

It just shows if you just. Here's something over and over. No matter what it is, there's still.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Gold in them hills.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I would hate to be that kind of comic, though, where I was sort of limited to a lot of work stuff that was Evergreen. Yeah, I don't mind that. You know, a lot of my material, like, I don't want to do it five years later, but. Yeah, especially when it's political. I mean, I'm not going to be doing Mitt Romney jokes and Sarah Palin. Boy, she's a dumbass, huh? You know, it's like, yeah, that moment has passed.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Sometimes you can recycle Sarah Pale jokes as Marjorie Taylor Green jokes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You can.

[Bill Maher]

And there'll be some other dumb cunt in the Republican Party will come along and help you, you know, Lauren Boebert. I mean, they're not going to be. They're not going to ever be hurting for stupid twats in that party. But these, these.

[Seth MacFarlane]

They're. The problem is they're. They're brands. It's like, you look at. You look at. What is it? Matt Getz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Melbourne Gates. Gates. Is that how you pronounce it? Yes, but they're all people who, like, if they could make it on social media as Tiktokers or Instagrammers, they probably would. They basically, they're building brands. And it exists on the left, too, but nowhere near as bad.

[Bill Maher]

No, that's very personification. That's exactly what they are. It's just not seen that way because they have official jobs, but they don't do the official job of, like, legislating and learning about issues and that stuff. It's all this, what you're talking about. It's all the marketing. Yes. It's all becoming. Yeah. A personality.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, it's. It's. It is almost performance art.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's exactly what it is. It's. It's. I mean, you see. And they're. And they're good at it, is the problem. Yeah, they're shocked. They're out to shock you.

[Bill Maher]

We did.

[Seth MacFarlane]

They're not out to govern.

[Bill Maher]

One of the future headlines we did last Friday was, Vivek Ramaswamy comes clean. I'm a performance artist. And I feel like it's almost. That's actually one. That's true. It is almost performance art, what he's doing. He was here. He's a bright guy.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, but what's the motivation? I mean, at a certain point, it's like there's emotional intelligence and there's.

[Bill Maher]

The motivation is to win elections. And the means in these people's minds is that our base, our electorate is on this kind of level. They don't want to hear about the details. They don't. Trump says a million things contradict. They don't care. They never take them literally. Never take them literally. They take them seriously, but not literally.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Even still, even though everything that was warned about has come to pass, Roe v. Wade is gone. He didn't accept the outcome of the election. Like everything that the crazies on. The crazies on the left said, this is gonna happen. And their right wing friend said, no, it's not happened.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, well, me.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So now we take him literally?

[Bill Maher]

Yes. The people I was fighting was with other people on the left. I said all along, he's never gonna concede power. And the Democrats I talked to would always laugh me off and say, you're being alarmist. And of course he has to. And you know everybody, Lawrence o' Donnell and you know, the politicians, they would just all pooh, pooh this idea.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. So that was a fear by about midway through his presidency that I started to have that this guy is not gonna walk away if he loses.

[Bill Maher]

Does this bother you?

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah. I smoke cigars in my own house.

[Bill Maher]

You do?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You smoke cigars?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Every once in a while.

[Bill Maher]

Why? What's in it?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Once a year or so.

[Bill Maher]

Why? But I don't get the pleasure.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, you don't, like you don't smoke the whole thing or you'll pass out.

[Bill Maher]

But you're not inhaling it, right? No, no, no. So if you're not inhaling it and it's not getting you high, it's just like. It's like putting a turd in your mouth. I don't get it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's exactly what smoking a cigar, certainly how you feel the next day that you put a turd in your mouth.

[Bill Maher]

Why do you do it?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Because you just look fucking cool.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. If I've had a few drinks and I'm home. No, just in the mirror. If I've had a few drinks and I'm home, I'll have a cigarette now.

[Bill Maher]

And then, which is a cigarette I get because I stupidly smoked for 20 years.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Did you really?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, for 20 years. You didn't know what was your brand? I was the Barclays man.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The Barclay Barclay. That's.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I wasn't the Barclays man, but Barkley was the brand.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I've never heard of that brand.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. It must have been cheap. It wasn't. It was like, you know, it wasn't rich.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Full flavor and cool mildness.

[Bill Maher]

It wasn't like super hardcore. But it wasn't like, you know, one of those super light. I don't know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It's just. Nothing bugs me about my past more than doing that, which was such a dumb idea.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And smoking the Barclays.

[Bill Maher]

Well, just smoking because like pot. If it kills me, I'll say, you know what? Not a bad trade off because it gave me so much liquor even.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, how many ideas? You know? And you know, it loosens people up. Loosens you up for romance. You know, from Club Random, Why I brought you. I've known you a while, but we never met.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's just only a matter of time, wasn't it?

[Bill Maher]

It was gonna happen. We're like Mick Jagger and David Bowie. We're gonna suck each other's dick. We're not even that gay. But, you know, it's just. It's a. It's a professional courtesy thing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah. Come on.

[Bill Maher]

That's really what it is. Oh, yeah. It's like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, it's like signing a W2 form, whatever the fuck you call it.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. It's just that, you know, I know in show business whoever makes the least amount of money has to be the bottom. So I guess I know where I'm going.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Did they still do that? I thought that went out with Abbott and Costello.

[Bill Maher]

What?

[Seth MacFarlane]

That you make the least. I don't know. I'm just going with the bit.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, well. I don't know if Abbott and Costello ever got to anal sex. But.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It can get worse.

[Bill Maher]

Just that Christmas party. And this year you didn't do it at your house.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Didn't do it at my house.

[Bill Maher]

Why that changed. It was always.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's a lot of noise, right? Everyone from all the shows come and be able to party. And even if I haven't seen them all year, you know, my animation director for Family Guy. I don't see the guy all year. Cause I'm never over there.

[Bill Maher]

I see him.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I know I'm gonna see him at the Christmas party once a year, have a drink with them and you know, it's that kind of thing. So it's all a write off.

[Bill Maher]

I have the same thing. We have a rap party for real time. It was this Friday. Oh, same thing. I love it. People I don't really get to see all year who work on the show. You can spend some time, catch up, tell them how much you appreciate them and stuff. Difference with this party is I leave out the other thousand people.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But that's just one show.

[Bill Maher]

What?

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, this is a party for real time.

[Bill Maher]

Right? Yes. Yeah, I know. This is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So we're managing a bunch of. You know.

[Bill Maher]

I know, but it's also. It's just. There are places in that party that look just like any. Like a nightclub.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, like this place.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but this place would only fit 50 people.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, but then, you know, there's family, there's friends. There's, like. It starts to build up, and then.

[Bill Maher]

It becomes a point where many of those parties I went to were. I could not find you and never did.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Yeah. That saddens you.

[Bill Maher]

It should sadden you. I'm fine with it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't know. It depends on what kind of mood you're in.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not the person who needs to invite a thousand people to my Christmas.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Party, but it does. You know, you invite this person, and then they. If you don't invite this other person, they're gonna get upset. And then it starts to build and grow and grow. And then the people who are instrumental in planning the party, they have their own list. Hey, I put a lot of work into this. Can I invite. And of course, you say yes. And. And then it just becomes. It just mushrooms.

[Bill Maher]

It just looked like a bunch of hot chicks from the club. They did not look like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That was many years ago.

[Bill Maher]

Many years ago.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't know if all should have come this year.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know if all them were as close friends, really. Where was it?

[Seth MacFarlane]

At the Pacific Design Center.

[Bill Maher]

You're kidding. Really? Is that a.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's a 1% laugh.

[Bill Maher]

Is that your gag?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Anyone outside LA.

[Bill Maher]

Is that you?

[Seth MacFarlane]

The Pacific Design Center.

[Bill Maher]

But it's an enormous building. They call it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

They have multiple. It's a honeycomb. They got.

[Bill Maher]

They call it the blue whale.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Do they really?

[Bill Maher]

You knew that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I didn't know that.

[Bill Maher]

You didn't know they call it the blue whale? No, it's blue. And apparently it's so big, it gets compared to a whale. Was it at the Pacific Design Center? It was, yeah. Oh, it was.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It was. It was actually the Pacific Design Center.

[Bill Maher]

That's for people who don't know. It's, like, where they have giant conventions.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know, we invited most of the Shriners.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly. Like Microsoft was here last week, and now it's Seth's Christmas party. Well, people have compared you to Gatsby.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Maher]

You know that. Sure.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, I've heard that.

[Bill Maher]

What are you saying about it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Hey, I know how to do this. I'm trying to remember back to, I.

[Bill Maher]

Know how to do this job reading.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The book in high school.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Any little tidbits that are gonna be fodder for a joke and nothing's coming to me.

[Bill Maher]

How do you react to that?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Gatsby. Gatsby was sort of a tragic figure though, wasn't he?

[Bill Maher]

And sort of an asshole. Yeah, I don't think you know what people, when they say it, they mean, oh, you know, debonair guy, handsome, threw big parties and that's what they're thinking, but because nobody reads the book. But I always thought the book possibly is not a great book. Even though it's talked about the Great Gatsby. Because the movies that they've made of it sucked.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So how good could the book be if they keep fucking up the movie?

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know what? That's the Alice in Wonderland problem is that there's never been a good movie made of that book. And I've never read the book. But I'm like, it must be horrible because as a kid. Did you.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I read it in college.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, except for the Disney version.

[Bill Maher]

But other than that, you know, see, I can't really trust what 19 year old me thought so. And I don't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I remember what 19 year old you. Guest starring on Alice playing a cop.

[Bill Maher]

That was 20.

[Seth MacFarlane]

How old were you? Seven year old me, I'm watching reruns of Alice. Is that your camera there?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm watching reruns of Alice and this guy pops up dressed as a cop. And you were very funny and you were still. You didn't seem any different. It's not like, oh, he was like, this is a young guy and now he's this other guy. You seemed exactly the same. It's just your hair was a little darker. Exactly the same.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, first of all, you guys be safe out there. That was your exit line. Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Full of swagger.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. Why were you one. Why were you watching Alice?

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, why not? Okay, was Vic Tabak nice?

[Bill Maher]

You mean you're that big a fan of the.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, it's, you know, you were flipping around. No, I bought the DVD set. Cause you can't find them anywhere else. And I uploaded it into my system there. And then say, fuck it, I'm Binge Alice. And there you are.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just shocked.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The only guy on screen still alive.

[Bill Maher]

I'm just shocked that you have this kind of time. And also, if you ever missed one fucking Episode of my show. One minute of it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Because you're really pissed off. Because you.

[Bill Maher]

Up the ass. Really? Okay, but can I tell you the story then? Sure. All right, So I. Where's my Wikipedia thing? I don't know. My own life. No, I moved out here. I did a Tonight Show, August 31, 1982. Got invited back in November. That was big. You know, get invited back and then, oh, we like you so much. We'd like you on the New Year's Eve show. It's like, whoa, three Tonight show shots in just the last quarter of the year. That's so. Of course. And I thought, well, I'm on my way. I'm gonna use their ticket. Cause poverty at that time was prevalent. I'm gonna use their ticket as I would to fly out. Then I'll just move to California. So I did that. I just moved with three suitcases on their ticket and had an apartment, like, in two days, did the Tonight Show. And then people saw it. I'd got DC Cab.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

With Mr. T. Joel Schumacher called, like, the next day. Would you like a part in DC Cab? So I had, like, a movie. And I had. And then it was soon after that. That was my first TV thing. The movie hadn't come out yet. And I think it was Mindy Maron. Mindy Marin is a big casting director, Bobby. Still. She's very. Oh, I see her name on a million movies.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And it's like, that's what it takes in the business. Like, people think we're a bunch of clowns out here, but actually, a lot of people are really good at their jobs. They're paying attention, including the casting people for that kind of stuff, for acting and people who have charisma. And, you know, there isn't. There is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Settle down.

[Bill Maher]

What? I mean, present company accepted. But, you know, it's a big talent to spot a big talent. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Absolutely.

[Bill Maher]

And absolutely. And, like, I really appreciate that there's somebody who's like, yeah, this is a silly little role. But this. This. There's something about this guy that's. That could. And it's so funny that you would now say to me, you were the same. Whatever that was. Reading is the same thing that either infuriates people or makes them like me. And I have plenty of both. My lovely girl said to me once. Cause sometimes you're out and people recognize you. And she's like, everybody loves you. And I said, very deceptive. The only people who say something to you are the people who like You.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

When people don't like you, they don't say anything.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No. They grumble about you at their table.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly. So I said, here, I can prove. She said, no. I said, I can prove it. It to you. I was once at a Dodger Stadium game. It's about 2005. It was soon after. Pretty soon after, you know, I said, the terrorist war. Cowards, which a lot of people didn't like, lost that show.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Sure, sure.

[Bill Maher]

So they put my face on the jumbo screen and there was, you know, there was cheering and a lot of booing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It was a lot of booing. And I said, you know, they were booing. It was a lot of boos. And she said, no, they were saying, we love you. Boo.

[Seth MacFarlane]

See, that's pal. Yeah, that's so supportive.

[Bill Maher]

But, yeah, I mean, I don't mind living with some people who don't like me. I mean, they're never people I respect. Right, right, right, right. I mean, I know they're, you know, I don't know if you have any. You certainly don't have any feuds.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't have any feuds. No, no. I'm sure there's people who. Yeah, of course.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. Because you. Family guys. Family guy. Sacrilegious.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But. Yeah. No, there's no. No Hollywood feuds. No, but I'm not. I don't, you know, I'm not in the business of nightly or weekly political commentary.

[Bill Maher]

No and no.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know.

[Bill Maher]

Well, in a way.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And it's your face. In a way, you are, but it's your face. You're out there. I'm delivering the jokes through the mouths of animated characters. It's very different the way it's perceived.

[Bill Maher]

Very different. Yes. And they. Yeah, no, that's. It's just lizard brain stuff you can't get over.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's absolutely what it is. Absolutely what it is.

[Bill Maher]

No, it's like. But I mean, there's certainly plenty of political commentary every week on Family Guy. I mean. And I never miss. I mean, you may be over it. You may be over it, but your fans are not.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, I know, I know. Believe me, I'm reminded of that all the time. It's good because I could take it.

[Bill Maher]

For granted, but I know the last week's was particularly great about streaming and sitcoms.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

That run of all the. When he names 50 shows that begin with somebody just arriving on your doorstep. Just priceless. And I admire the research that went into it. Somebody had to compile that list.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Tries to Stop him. And he goes, no, no, this is Family Guy. We're doing this. We're doing all of these. All of these shows.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly. And then, like, it was what, The Odd Couple. I mean, it's. It was. And I. I didn't doubt for a moment that they were all genuine, that they were all. I didn't recognize every one of them or remember the pilot, but that's like. Yeah, that's.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But again, it's. You know, it's. When you're going online to complain, you can't find Peter Griffin, you can't find Stewie. They don't exist. They're not real.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And so who do you yell at? It's a conglomerate of people that come.

[Bill Maher]

They yell at you? No, they must. Not on Twitter a lot.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, sometimes, but not like, I don't deal with it anywhere near.

[Bill Maher]

But you tweet a lot, right?

[Seth MacFarlane]

I used to. I don't tweet as much as I used to, only because I don't see the productivity.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, good.

[Seth MacFarlane]

There was a point where I was.

[Bill Maher]

Glad to hear you say that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Tweeting, posting. If there's a book I've read that I think people should read and do a deep dive into something, I'll post about that and maybe write a little blurb. But beyond that, I don't really. I just feel like I'm adding to the noise. I feel like I'm watching.

[Bill Maher]

You're right. And it's detrimental to your mental health completely.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, it's already rewired all of our brains, whether we know it or not.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I don't watch any. Like, I used to watch cable news. Quite a bit of msnbc.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, I don't do that either.

[Bill Maher]

Cnn. I know. The pandemic. I stopped and it never went back. You know where I get my news? On tv. Tmz. I love tmz.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's your only. That's.

[Bill Maher]

No, but I get my news from Reid.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes, so do I. Okay, so do I.

[Bill Maher]

But television is a vast wasteland. It really is news.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It is, right?

[Bill Maher]

For news. It is. I mean, not that you can't get it or even. I mean, the nightly news, I used to watch religiously. And I gave up on that because I did, like, bits on it. How it became just not, like, what's important. It was like, here's some cool video we have on an airline, on a Southwest airline. Like, anything that ever happens on the.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Airline, 24 Hour News is second.

[Bill Maher]

That's not fucking news.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Second only to social media as far as its destructive influence.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

24 hour cable news. And I know Ted Turner was like, he was a philanthropist. He was a good guy. He was trying to do something that would educate us, make us all more informed. It just backfired.

[Bill Maher]

It just became like. Exactly. It just. Everything in this country, it seems, you know, going back to, I don't know, some people would say the Kennedy assassination, when the rot really started. But then, of course, that's a white way to look at it, because for Kennedy was civil rights. So for people of color, that's when things started to get better. But definitely the psyche of the country. Well, I don't think it's ever been lower. And that is so funny. Yeah. Things are shit. And then when you actually live your life and see people like, I know there's a lot of poverty and stuff, but. But, man, there's also just a lot of people fucking balling out there. You know what I mean?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know. You mean bawling, as in crying.

[Bill Maher]

They're not that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Balling.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, Balling, like doing well.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Like now I'm with you. Or looking like it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Maher]

Or looking like it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah. The great lie.

[Bill Maher]

And they don't look like they're unhappy, you know, And I know there's a lot of unhappiness, but.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It'S so hard to tell, particularly now, particularly in 2023. It's so hard to tell what's. I mean, social media is on the cusp of evolving into something else. I don't know what it is yet.

[Bill Maher]

AI.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Does that concern you?

[Seth MacFarlane]

It does in some ways and it doesn't in others. AI for enterprises like medicine, I think is going to be a wonderful thing.

[Bill Maher]

I could not agree more. This being almost 68 years old.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Trust me.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I'm putting all the chips on that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And I think. And I think a lot of doctors, doctors that I've spoken to seem to feel the same way, that it's like, AI is a tool doctor. It's not going to replace us. It's not going to replace innovation when it comes to medicine, but it's a wonderful tool that's going to. We're not going to have to sit there and wait for whatever the hell computations need to get done to come up with a new medicine. It's going to take three years. The AI can do it in three seconds. That's going to be. It's a very different development for an enterprise like that than it is for entertainment. Entertainment.

[Bill Maher]

We should be very scared Doctors that I have blown say the same thing. I'm older, I have to be nicer to doctors. Well, I mean, listen, I'm always being very nice to doctors.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, I mean, with that much medical care, you gotta. Cash alone won't do it.

[Bill Maher]

I'm telling you. Doctors. I used to have one doctor in my, you know, Rolodex or whatever we had back then. Now I got like 50.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah. It's good though.

[Bill Maher]

Well, you know why? Because you need various opinions. Yes, because they don't agree with each other.

[Seth MacFarlane]

They don't agree with each other always.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, you have to have multiple points of view. I have someone who I pay only to be a medical researcher.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Really?

[Bill Maher]

Yes, Just to brilliant investment, kind of.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Go online, do their own research.

[Bill Maher]

Someone who's a brilliant researcher. Because first of all, I know they make fun of. What do they call? Dr. Google? Well, if you're a brilliant researcher, Dr. Google probably knows more than your doctor.

[Seth MacFarlane]

If you are a doctor yourself and you're going on Google, you can cull the bullshit from the facts.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know if you need to be a doctor to call. Yeah, I think you can. Yes. I think lots of people there. We diverge. Yeah, right, exactly. Some of the best medical advice I've gotten has not been from doctors. And doctors are very often wrong. And there's a vast history of showing how wrong they are and have been about everything.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But to be a doctor in the first place just requires a certain amount of. You're going into it knowing that. And by the way, that's why they consult with each other. That's why they call their colleagues. There's a lot of guesswork, but it's educated guesswork.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

If you're not a doctor, your guess is maybe not going to be as educated as someone who is.

[Bill Maher]

But then why are doctors wrong about so much people right about a lot too. Yes, but very often people who aren't doctors have been righter about things.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Like what would be an example of that?

[Bill Maher]

I would think this country did not allow for natural immunity to be considered. And I know this is a subject dear to your heart. Like even if you had the disease, you still had to get a vaccine. That's powerful. Stupid. They don't do that in Europe.

[Seth MacFarlane]

They do that here. There's mandatory vaccination in school.

[Bill Maher]

Right. But if you already had the disease, you have natural immunity. We didn't see, we didn't seem to believe in that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That was debunked though. I mean, that was.

[Bill Maher]

That's not debunked.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Don't you know people who've had Covid four or five times? I do. That's not natural immunity. There's no immunity there. You've had Covid five times.

[Bill Maher]

Probably because you had too many vaccines. I didn't have Covid.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Did the vaccine gave you Covid.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's certainly nothing unscientific about the fact that the vaccine, which does weaken you in order to strengthen you, says do all vaccines. Exactly.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But while you're in a weakened state. Yes. That's why so many people like me got it. Did not have it while the thing was raging and I was taking zero precautions. Cause I was never that afraid of it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But that's anecdotal.

[Bill Maher]

Like I've had every booster. That's an anecdotal that. Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And I have never had Covid. I get a flu shot once a year. I haven't had the flu in 20 years.

[Bill Maher]

Right. Well, I haven't eaten and I don't get a flu shot.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay, so this is all anecdotal. But you know the difference between anecdotal and statistical?

[Bill Maher]

I do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And statistically you still have a 90% better chance of not being hospitalized, not dying if you're vaccinated.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, well, but that's assuming all people are alike. And that is one of the giant fallacies in your way of thinking. We are not all alike. Yes, I would recommend and have recommended the COVID vaccine for the high risk people. Like if you're 90 or fat, get it. Absolutely. You need it. Some people don't. But you had Djokovic. Didn't need it. But you had Aaron Rodgers. Didn't need it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But you had something like 1900 kids who died of COVID during the pandemic.

[Bill Maher]

No, I don't think that's right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

How many of them died from the vaccine? None. The New York and the thinking there is that, well, probably most kids are not gonna die from COVID so why bother with the vaccine? Cuz it's only gonna be a few hundred kids.

[Bill Maher]

Right. I don't know how many kids died. That seems very high to me. I know at one point the New York Times grossly talking about misinformation, they had to apologize. They got it completely wrong. She reported something like 900,000 children have been hospitalized and it was like 63,000. So maybe those facts should be.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Papers can get it wrong and they print retractions and you know this.

[Bill Maher]

But also with COVID or from COVID Did 1900 children die with COVID Yes, it's a whole different story.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay, but take 7 million people worldwide. 7 million people worldwide who died from COVID Like if even just a fraction of that, and it's probably a larger fraction who died of COVID than who died with COVID If even just a fraction of that is. That's still a lot of fucking people. That's a lot of fucking people.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, and. But why. Okay, but some people. Things are. And you cannot prevent that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You can though. I mean, you can prevent.

[Bill Maher]

At what cost?

[Seth MacFarlane]

But what's the cost of getting a vaccine? What's.

[Bill Maher]

Well, the fact that you don't. The fact that you don't even have a clue. What's the cost of getting a vaccine that you don't know the answer to that. No, you completely want to shut your eyes to the fact that there are repercussions to all medical interventions, including a vaccine, all vaccines. They say side effects, just like every medication does. You can see it in the literature. They can't write it on the vaccine, on the vaccine. So you have to dig them. And of course there is a vaccine court because so many people have been injured. This is not a screed to say don't do vaccines. I'm not against doing vaccines. I'm against doing vaccines that I don't think I need. I should be able to decide that for myself inside my body. But yes, there are pathogens. But don't you think that would come along that I would fight you for.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But don't you think.

[Bill Maher]

To get the vaccine.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's a good point.

[Bill Maher]

To get the vaccine.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And you bring me to my next poll. Don't you think that the vitriol and just the aggression towards that, the anti vaccination movement, the way it souped itself up during all this, that the next time there is a pandemic, our public health system is so weakened.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, exactly. Because of them and their fucking misinformation that made people skeptical. The fact that everybody came out and said if you get the vaccine, you cannot get the disease. And then of course that was wrong. And if you get the vaccine, you can't transmit it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But they were learning right along the science.

[Bill Maher]

I understand.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You just said yourself, doctors are often wrong. They are. Especially when they're researching a brand new disease.

[Bill Maher]

And I am not blaming them for it. I'm just saying that's why there shouldn't be the science. There's no the in science. That's what you want. You want just to be the one true opinion.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no, no. That's not true. No. The strength of science.

[Bill Maher]

And you don't want it. You don't know what it is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The strength of science is that it has the capacity to ev.

[Bill Maher]

But just acknowledge that vaccines have ill effects on some people. They do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Again, anecdotally, but statistically, it's here. And it's here. Seven million people died of COVID How many people died from the vaccine? Probably a few. I don't know what the number is, but I know it's got 7 million.

[Bill Maher]

If we were more judicious about who needed it versus who it might hurt, which would not be the blanket policy of just everybody, one size fits all, then probably we could take down the damages from the vaccine that happened.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But then why vaccinate for anything and.

[Bill Maher]

Then take down the.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Why vaccinate for measles? Why vaccinate for mumps or rubella pertussis? Why vaccinate for any of those things? Because somebody might get hurt by the vaccine. I mean, why do those vaccines. Because Covid is newer. Well, Covid is newer, yes, but is that the only reason? I mean, this was. By the time you got the vaccine, I don't know if you had it, but by the time I got the vaccine, this was the most tested vaccine in the history of vaccination. Yes, I had it because so many people by that point had had it. It's like, by the time it got into my arm, it's like, all right, I think I'm gonna be okay.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, well, just so you know, I took one for the team. Okay. So, you know, that should go into it. I did something I did not want to do. And we'd have to talk about this all night.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Am I still gonna get my.

[Bill Maher]

How many guys do you think you have to blow before you're officially gay? No, really, I'm asking you.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, yeah, look, man, in 2023, anything goes. I mean, what time is it?

[Bill Maher]

Put a number on it, huh? How many guys do you have to blow before you're officially gay?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, God. Can I phone a friend?

[Bill Maher]

Just tell me a number before you're official.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean. I mean, I'd have to ask my cousin.

[Bill Maher]

Just say a number before you're officially. Say a number.

[Seth MacFarlane]

A 2023 estimate.

[Bill Maher]

Or like a 2000 today's estimate, like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Pre Bush v. Gore. I don't know. That's a tough one. Because you're. Because you're.

[Bill Maher]

All right, well, then I have a punchline.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay. What do you want me to say? 1. Okay, there we go. There we go. I'M so sorry. You set me up and it's like God, and you're such a trooper about it. New Year, new me. Cute. But how about New Year, new money? With Experian, you can actually take control of your finances. Check your FICO score, find ways to save and get matched with credit card offers, giving you time to power through those New Year's goals you know you're going to crush. Start the year off right. Download the experian app based on 5FICO scoring model offers an approval not guaranteed. Eligibility requirements and terms apply subject to credit check, which may impact your credit scores. Offers not available in all states. See experian.com for details. Experian the New year brings new health.

[Bill Maher]

Goals and wealth goals.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Protecting your identity is an important step. Your info is in endless places that could expose you to identity theft leading to lost funds. LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second.

[Bill Maher]

If your identity is stolen, our restoration style specialists will fix it, guaranteed or your money back.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Resolve to make identity, health and wealth part of your New year's goals. With LifeLock, save up to 40% your first year. Visit LifeLock.com podcast terms apply. You know, I had a peanut butter and jelly before I came here today actually.

[Bill Maher]

What? Yeah. Why?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Because I knew I was going to be drinking.

[Bill Maher]

That's the worst thing you. I mean, why?

[Seth MacFarlane]

What's wrong with that?

[Bill Maher]

Peanuts are gross. They're fungusy and they're just. The peanuts are not a healthy food.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Gross.

[Bill Maher]

Peanuts are gross as fuck. And they won't be sponsoring this podcast, I'll tell you that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But you don't like peanuts.

[Bill Maher]

Ice. Yeah. And jelly is all sugar.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

You preserved yourself remarkably well for someone who likes sugar as much as you do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's yours.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Cause I haven't been in the sun since the sixth grade.

[Bill Maher]

That helps too. I stupidly was when I was younger and dumber and dumb. But I thankfully like everything in life with me. I get too late. I'm just. I get up late. Everything comes late.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You don't want to get married, right?

[Bill Maher]

Correct.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You don't ever want to get married?

[Bill Maher]

Well, I don't. I certainly. Marriage and like being with somebody, you know, steadily is two different things. I certainly don't see the need to bring the federal and state government into my love life. That's point. That's kind of.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But it's kind of fun though, right? Isn't it? You get to have the nice ceremony.

[Bill Maher]

And well, this, you know, as many.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You get to do the chicken dance.

[Bill Maher]

Many people have pointed Out a little.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Bit softer now, a little bit louder now. You get to do all that.

[Bill Maher]

Shout that one. Yeah. No, like everybody likes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

How do you know? Jeff and Brenda, you know, it's all wonderful.

[Bill Maher]

Everybody likes a wedding. Nobody likes marriage.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Not necessarily up to now. Here's why is that it's. Oh, I just touched your foot by accident.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. That's how they.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Or on purpose.

[Bill Maher]

That's how they signal each other. Remember Larry Craig? Do you remember that scandal? Senator Larry Craig of Idaho? No, no. He was a Republican senator, very anti gay.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Family. And he was doing this. They caught him doing this in the bathroom at the Minneapolis airport, which was known to be a gay meeting place. And he said, well, I have a wide stance. That was his excuse. That his foot was halfway under the other stall. Where the other. Yes. And he was a Republican senator from Idaho. Larry Craig. You don't remember that? Senator Larry Craig? No, no. That was like 2007, something like that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Gary Condit.

[Bill Maher]

Gary Condit, yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Who was. Who in the midst of a scandal when 911 happened, who fucked the intern.

[Bill Maher]

But did not kill him.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And no one ever talked about it again because 911 happened.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, you're right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

There was this day in the Family Guy writers room and we were all just. Of course, everyone's shell shocked, just sitting there. There's just a dark pall over the whole. You know, we were back at work.

[Bill Maher]

For the first day.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Since 9 11. No, since 9 11. It's 9 11. And one of the writers. 9 11, one of the writers out of nowhere just goes, that makes more sense. He goes, you know, the one person who's having a good day.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Gary Condit.

[Bill Maher]

That's right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's like, oh, that's true. Because it just went. They just forgotten. But I have been around enough guys who had not bad marriages, but marriages that they rushed into and where they didn't, you know, like look at Clooney. Clooney's a guy who did it right. He waited until the time was right and to marry.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And he has a successful marriage. Did I know one?

[Bill Maher]

Well, first of all, no one knows. Let me tell you something. I just.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No one ever knows. But they're still married.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, But I just went through this with somebody and I've been through it with many other, but close friends of mine. Married couple who I. And I am not a young or naive man, would never have guessed married couples are geniuses at hiding it until it absolutely blows up. Because they don't. Do not want other people to think that they're not having a good time. So when they're out together, they are fucking Academy Award winners. And then it's like. And everybody goes, like, what? I thought they were so happy. Meryl Streep's been living on her own for six years.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right. They've been screaming about their happiness on Instagram.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, what better excuse to get out of, you know, going places than to be married? I'm so. I can't. I got, you know, we got the kids, like, and, you know, no one asks. Like, my married friend's like, hey, do you want to come to this thing this weekend? I can't. You know, we got the kids. And that sentence doesn't mean anything.

[Bill Maher]

It also works.

[Seth MacFarlane]

We need to get the kids. Yeah, I know you have kids. What does that have to do with you coming out?

[Bill Maher]

It also works the other way. Spouses drag their partners to things they don't want to go to.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, but if you're lucky. If you're lucky. I've seen this marriage as well. You're a couple, and neither one of you wants to be there, but, you know, you have to go. And so you spend the whole time in the corner just shitting on people. Now those people are in love. That's the kind of marriage I want.

[Bill Maher]

What do you make of watching movies or shows with a romantic partner?

[Seth MacFarlane]

It can tell you a lot.

[Bill Maher]

It's a huge part of it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, it is.

[Bill Maher]

Because, like, okay, there's a certain amount of time fucking, but that's, you know, like, time wise. It's not a giant clock eater at our age. I mean, hopefully it's quality, but, you know, you're not gonna do it around.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The clock, you know.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, so then there's eating.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, with me, it's like, you're gonna watch movies. It's like how you react to Jodie Foster's speech at the end of Contact is a big one. If that fucking hits you the way it hits me. We're gonna work out Contact.

[Bill Maher]

Is that the one with Matthew McConaughey as a scientist? Okay, that's where it lost me.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Look, just.

[Bill Maher]

And I like him, but, like, he just doesn't read as a scientist. Some people just.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, no, no, he's. No, he did not play a scientist. He played a pastor.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I thought this was.

[Seth MacFarlane]

She played the scientist.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Jodie Foster played the scientist. She's dating Matthew McConaughey, who played the pastor.

[Bill Maher]

He's a pastor.

[Seth MacFarlane]

He's a pastor. No, he's good in that movie.

[Bill Maher]

I like him. He's good in a lot of things.

[Seth MacFarlane]

She's exceptional in that movie. That's just a brilliant.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, no, there is a movie where he's a scientist.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, you're thinking of in.

[Bill Maher]

It's something on another planet we gotta go through. Stellar. Yes. The crops are dying. Who could save us? All right, all right, all right, guys.

[Seth MacFarlane]

There was, you know, the thing about that movie. And again, there's a lot I liked about that movie where.

[Bill Maher]

That movie.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The thing that hooked me and puzzled me about that movie. There's that scene where they go down to the water planet, some of it interstellar.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And they come back up to the ship and. Because the time differential. The time differential. Jesus fucking vodka. They get back up to the ship and 23 years have passed in space. Right. Am I remembering that correctly, guys?

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I don't remember.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And so the guy on the ship is like, hey, it's good to have you back. And it's like, wait a minute. That's the movie. That's the whole movie. You've been waiting. You waited for 23 years the whole rest of the movie, Right? Like, what did you do? You write a book? Can you paint now?

[Bill Maher]

Well, did you see Passengers?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes, I did see Passengers.

[Bill Maher]

I didn't think they brought it off great. I think the actors are good and.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know, there's a lot that's. There's a lot that's entertaining and some flawed things.

[Bill Maher]

The premise I love. Yeah. If people don't know that he woke.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Her up and kind of ruined her life because he didn't want to hang out by himself.

[Bill Maher]

You could have done it as a comedy.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You could have.

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's a. Oh, hey.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, here's the plot, people. So they're on a ship. We have to get off Earth. Because Elon was right. Rat fucked the planet. Mostly because of the yachts of the billionaires. Okay, so we have to find another planet. It's 90 light. Light years away.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Or.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, well, somewhere. So they. No, no, I don't know how many light years away far. So they have to put you to sleep for 90 years. So they put you in suspended animation. Like how they could ever really do that, but maybe they could. Okay, so one guy wakes up, his fucking pod misfires, and he's like, whoa, hey, we're at the planet already. He looks around and he talks to the computer. It's like, no, we got 90 years. So he's like, oh, I'll be 120 when we get there. So he spends a little time trying to get over it. And then he's like, I'm gonna wake up the hottest day I can find on this.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. In reality, the rest of the movie. She's pissed as fuck at him, right? She's pissed as fuck.

[Bill Maher]

You could play this.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I signed up for this thing cause I wanted to go to Super Mars. But by the way, maybe that's like. Maybe that's the next Hollywood. Maybe that's a thing. Like we take movies that are written as dramas and you remake them. Instead of rebooting, you remake it as a comedy.

[Bill Maher]

I mean.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Many would not work that way, but some would. But it would.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, you're not gonna do like Schindler's.

[Bill Maher]

List, but you're gonna.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You're gonna take something like Passengers, and that's not gonna do Philadelphia. You're gonna.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What's like a go to movie that you would watch with?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that part. Somebody you're dating seeing how much someone who's never seen something you love so much is now loving it for the first time.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. That's an enormous. I mean, regardless of who you're showing it to, that's an enormous pleasure. I love that.

[Bill Maher]

It is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, this could be like a friend of mine who I work with and I'm like, you've never seen that movie. Like, that's a great joy. Because in a weird way, you take ownership of a movie emotionally that you love. Like you take a movie like Contact is one of those movies. Tootsie is one of those movies. You run into somebody who hasn't seen Tootsie, it's like, oh, my God, this is one of the comedy writers Holy Grails.

[Bill Maher]

Right? And they hold up. They do hold up. And it's very good. Because the younger generation needs to understand that we're not a bunch of squares.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I gotta say, I think they do. I think.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah, I do too.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know, it's in working on.

[Bill Maher]

Just Won't admit It.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And I think sometimes they will. It's like working on Ted. There was a breadth of. I mean, you talk about like a breadth of demographics. Every generation was represented on that show. And I do have to say, like, yes, the millennials take a lot of shit for being super sensitive about stuff. And maybe it's true. I don't know. That's a generalization.

[Bill Maher]

You know it's true because they've complained about shit you do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But I'll say it's interesting. Like, the Gen Z people on our show were very much in line comedically with like the Gen Xers, there was a lot of willingness to kind of laugh about stuff that they wouldn't necessarily laugh about. In reality. They could separate comedy from actuality, which is.

[Bill Maher]

But it's not. That's a big part of it. It's not.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You can joke about things that would horrify you in real life, but these.

[Bill Maher]

Are people who are working on a Seth MacFarlane project. Of course they're going to feel that way. This is not some like representative slice of.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I guess. But they have friends and they're people their age who they talk to and feel the same way. According to them.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I think they do. I don't know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I think they get a bad rap and I think it's not necessary.

[Bill Maher]

You know what I love about them is that they can really take a punch like whenever you say what's wrong with their generation. I've never heard one who like recoiled and said, we are not. No, you spend too much time on social media. I know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, there's a willingness. I know there's a self deprecating. And look, for me it was the same way. It's like when Gen X was in their 20s, it's like we were just getting hounded like, you're a bunch of slackers. Like everyone was the principal from Back to the Future. You're a bunch of slackers. You'll never amount to anything. And we just heard it over and over and over and it's like it got to be a joke. And I think there's a lot. I think we are much more similar than we are different.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, that's true. We certainly are both addicted to consumption.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. That's why I get pissed when I hear these nihilists say, like, nothing works anymore. The government's broken. It's like the government is not broken. Look who you're electing. The system works. You're putting the wrong people in it. It's like buying a Porsche and putting Diet Coke in the gas tank.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's not gonna. Of course it's not gonna work.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But let's just knock it all down. And really how many generations of people worked to build civilization?

[Bill Maher]

And also.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And ours is the one that's gonna knock it all down. Really.

[Bill Maher]

Also no perspective about how good they have it here. Even people who have it bad here have it way better than people who have it bad anywhere else. In a lot of places it's mostly bad.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, that was. Was it Obama? I guess it was Obama who pointed out that if you knew, if you died and you knew you were gonna be reincarnated, but you didn't know at what period of time, what era, what race you were gonna be, what country you were gonna be reincarnated, where would you want to be and when would you want to be? And most people would say, yeah, here, because that's right.

[Bill Maher]

What a great way to put it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. And there's truth to that, a lot of truth.

[Bill Maher]

And it's great that he said it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

No, really, because if. And that's one thing that's terrible about our dialectic. Now, if we said it. And it would be no less true.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Something is no less true because of who says it or when they said it. I remember after I got fired, after 9 11, Arianna Huffington said, I mean.

[Seth MacFarlane]

If it's I'm innocent and it's Donald Trump, then, yeah, it does matter who says it and when they.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Wait, am I gonna defend Trump? No, of course. But, like, I remember.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm so glad we're not there yet.

[Bill Maher]

After 9 11, Arianna Huffington said, if what Bill said was true on September 10th, it's true on September 12th. And she was right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. You know, that's dead on.

[Bill Maher]

That's a terrible Greek accent.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Dracula.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. All right. Well.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, you know, come on.

[Bill Maher]

I don't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It was a joke.

[Bill Maher]

I could do some impressions.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No. Can you?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Done impressions on your show. I mean, your real show.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, no.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What impressions do you do? Here's the cop from Alice.

[Bill Maher]

I could do Murray from Mary Tyler Morgan. Oh, really? Kevin McCloud. Okay. This is. You'll be Ted. And after he met this girl, he wants him. And she says. And Ted says, murray, she squeezed my hand. She squeezed my hand.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Murray, she squeezed my hand. She squeezed my hand.

[Bill Maher]

Ted, she was probably trying to pump some blood to your brain. Wow. It's a pretty good Gavin.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. That's a very good Gavin McLeod.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. You know, you don't think you don't know me as well as you.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I guess I don't. I really don't.

[Bill Maher]

After all these years. Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

My God.

[Bill Maher]

But you're happy.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is. This is just. Are the cameras even still on? Is this still a show?

[Bill Maher]

No one's here. Would we need one?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Is this wire even attached to anything?

[Bill Maher]

We used to drink. We used to go out and drink, just, like, for the purpose of drinking. I know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

As opposed to the many other purposes of ingesting fermented. Whatever this is.

[Bill Maher]

Do you remember that Rolling Stone party we went to?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Where was that?

[Bill Maher]

I don't know where. I don't know where it was. It was not the Pacific Design Center, I'll tell you that. But we went together, I think in a limousine. I remember falling out of the car. We were like so hammered by the time we got out there. It was like a Beatles cartoon where they just flop out of the car. I don't know. I think it was 2011 or something like that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Where would that have been? Was that the one at. Just the fact that Jon Favreau was there and you guys got to talk.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, who the fuck remembers who was there? But. But I remember we went and, you know, just the idea of passages in life and how you becoming different.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You love to meet celebrities, don't you?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, not anymore.

[Bill Maher]

What are you saying?

[Seth MacFarlane]

There was every party I've been to with you, I remember you were just like, all right, what fun celebrities are you?

[Bill Maher]

Because I was recruiting. Oh, that's why.

[Seth MacFarlane]

For Club Random?

[Bill Maher]

No, for. For my show.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, you know, if she's another show. Besides.

[Bill Maher]

No, I mean, I stopped doing that, actually. You know, it's all about this. Well, because.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Put it all into this bill.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, I stopped recruiting. Oh. Like I used to. Yes, you're right. If I was in a celebrity rich environment, I'd be like, oh, I want to get Arnold Schwarzenegger on my show.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Celebrity rich. And it's like. It's phrased that like, this is iron rich land.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. And I. And it. And it worked many times, you know, like, you people in this business, first of all, their publicists always are protecting them from me. So it's very hard to get through the public. People don't want. Really? Yes. I'm a scary guy. They don't want to. You know, and I'm really not. And I can make you look better than lots of people could ever make you look. But they think it's. And they think, oh, my client is too stupid to do his show. Which in many cases would be true if you were on the path. But I could talk to anybody one on one. Look at what we're doing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, no, it's true. It's true. Is that. Let me ask you this. On the. Cause I remember I was on the panel on, like, there was a few times I was on the panel.

[Bill Maher]

You gotta come back and do that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I would love to. But then I was like, the guy who came out in the middle. Was that. Cause I was too stupid when I.

[Bill Maher]

Was on the panel? No, no, that's. Cause you're A celebrity? Because it's not a celebrity driven show. Well, we don't do that segment.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, what's Salman Rushdie? That's not a celebrity.

[Bill Maher]

No, he's an author. Come on. But that was. We don't do that segment anymore. I don't know why I.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You don't. You don't do the middle.

[Bill Maher]

You haven't seen the show since we stopped doing that. Wow. I thought you were my fan. I thought you used to tell me.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You love my show.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, God. If you haven't seen the show, you've missed a lot.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Why? Yeah, why don't you do the first show back? Great.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm in. Count me in.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, good.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm in.

[Bill Maher]

It's the day. It's be my birthday present. It's the day before my birthday.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Great. Happy birthday. I love it. It's the only time I'll be 41. You'll be 41? When is it?

[Bill Maher]

I think it's January 19th.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It's perfect. What were we doing?

[Seth MacFarlane]

I texted my publicist before, right before I came here. And funny, I didn't know. I said, is this show live or is it to tape? I think I actually said to tape. Yeah, but, you know, I would have come even if it was live. I'm not trying to wrap things up. I'm enjoying myself.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Are you serious? Yeah. Cause I'll fucking sit here.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What do I got? I gotta be somewhere at 7:30. But that's all I got. Oh, it's only 6:30.

[Bill Maher]

When were you grabbing dinner at one of the swanky restaurants where Jay Gatsby goes to, like, charismatic and all get. Oh, and show people all your. Riz.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Isn'T. Which is of course short for charisma.

[Bill Maher]

It is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I love when the kids do that. They take something.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But we don't tolerate za. You having a pizza? No, I'm having a za.

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, he says charisma. No, Riz, it's no different. We didn't tolerate that. Why should we tolerate this?

[Bill Maher]

You know, we used to say that's hot.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

They say that's fire.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

See how they just completely improved on that?

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's a reboot.

[Bill Maher]

It's just.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's a reboot. It was IP that got retooled.

[Bill Maher]

I would love to do a show with kids. Like, talking to kids.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Like, where you're dressed as a clown.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, that's on Saturday. Like, no.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, you want to be Art Linkletter? That would be hilarious.

[Bill Maher]

It really would.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Be if you're Art Linkletter kids. Which kids? Say the darndest things. Look it up.

[Bill Maher]

But not like. Well, yes, I think all ages. Cause I think it's fascinating to talk to them when they're young. And also when they're old enough to really understand everything. Because a 15 year old is not like when I was 15, I mean, I grew up in Leave it to Beaverland and had the most, you know, protected, sort of innocent. And I mean, mine was 60s, you know. Yours 70s. I mean. Yeah. I mean, well, America has come a long way.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, 80s, but sure. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Let's go 80. Well, you were 74 year born 73. See, you were 50 this year. Sorry.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Every time I do this, I'm blocking the camera, aren't I?

[Bill Maher]

You look great, by the way.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Thank you.

[Bill Maher]

You really do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh my God. Thank you.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know how you do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Diary. Jackpot.

[Bill Maher]

You actually look better now than you did it when that was. I think people. Sometimes people really grow into. First of all, you know, becoming a man is a long process. Like a real man when you become a man.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know that song Matt Monroe.

[Bill Maher]

Matt Monroe.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The world is eager to tell you so.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, there's one other thing you might keep reminding me of. Things that at the end of this that you will only you will appreciate. I saw this today. I left my head off. Oh. Seth has a deep cringing disdain for anything trendy. And when I say trendy, I mean after 1960 at the Grammys. Last year, Seth's choice for best newcomer was Jack Jones.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't trust those Brady kids.

[Bill Maher]

Jack Jones. Come on, man. Remember Jack Jones.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I sure do.

[Bill Maher]

Sang the Love Boat. Love Boat.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, right. Yeah. Jack Jones.

[Bill Maher]

Remember we sang at your party?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Star. A song, a Sinatra song that I did not know until you introduced me to it.

[Bill Maher]

You're welcome. Yeah, and it's so awesome. If the ladies really charming. If the ladies chicer than Chicago if her escorts must. No, I'm fucking must. Wear a topper at each man.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is exactly how it goes.

[Bill Maher]

The man of the week. If she rides around in a brand.

[Seth MacFarlane]

New foreign car the chances are the lady's a star. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

See, there was a part that I needed you to cover me where I can't sing because I'm not a singer and you are.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I know. I was there with you on JLo. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I thought we did pretty well.

[Seth MacFarlane]

We were fine.

[Bill Maher]

We were.

[Seth MacFarlane]

We were fine.

[Bill Maher]

No, we weren't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, we were fine. No, I'm kidding. I'm not Doing the Jack Tripper thing just to.

[Bill Maher]

You're kidding that we're fine or you're kidding?

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no, we were good. He loved it. He loved it. He was so delighted.

[Bill Maher]

Also sounds like a backhanded compliment. No, no, he loved it. No, I haven't said.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Critics have that photo. So from that night in my den.

[Bill Maher]

I do, too. Yeah. I should have brought it in with the rest of my show and tell.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Hey, you know what? It's in this camera.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, exactly. No, that was. I remember we rehearsed. Yeah. If people don't know. In 2014, I think this was. Jay was retiring. Retiring. Put out to pasture for the crime of being number one. Twice. They fired him twice for being number one. And he took Jay Leno. Being Jay Leno. Nah, that's fine. You know, everybody's a good person. It's like anybody else.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Jerry is a very nice guy.

[Bill Maher]

Everybody else would have been so bitter, but he just went on and did other shows, and so I said, I gotta do something for Jay. I'm on the week before he leaves. And I said, let's do thanks for the memories. My guys worked on it with me. We rewrote the lyrics. I wish I could remember any of them, but we sang thanks in tuxedos to Jay Leno, and it was a surprise, and it was a TV moment, you know, I'm so glad I have that memory with you.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Carson got Bette Midler. He got us.

[Bill Maher]

I said that when I was setting it up. Oh, that's right. I said, I.

[Seth MacFarlane]

God, do I have any original thoughts?

[Bill Maher]

No, no. Well, it's the natural thought, because Bette Midler did it. But I remember I said to Jay I wanted to sing something, so I called Bette Midler, and the audience was like, ooh, she wouldn't take my call. So I called Seth.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So we have this writer who acts.

[Bill Maher]

Well. You must be excited for 2024.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, I can't get over it. Yeah, I'm. Why are you.

[Bill Maher]

Really.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Are they mic'd? The people. Your team laughing in the bar, they just. Are we getting like, Are you gonna add a laugh track? Is this gonna be like Mayberry rfd?

[Bill Maher]

We're just funny. Yeah. Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, I never.

[Bill Maher]

We're so funny, it seeps out of rooms far away. Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I just want the audience to know that it's funny, and I don't think they will if they don't hear these guys.

[Bill Maher]

This is a podcast. We're not working.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, it is.

[Bill Maher]

We're not working to an audience.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Maher]

I Spent a fortune building this place in such a way that nobody else is in the room. What you see. So that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What did you spend on this place?

[Bill Maher]

Well, the place was here. But lighting it. Cameras. So that we never feel like we're being watched. Yes. And nobody else in the room. I want us to be just like we always are.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

My whole career has been trying to, like, get reality onto television, which is very difficult. And I can't fully ever do it on real time. As much as I love real time the most. It's my baby. It's my time. This is my mistress. But you can't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But, you know, what do you think about. Cause this is interesting, like watching. Because we've been friends for a long time and because your politics evolve and change over time and I don't.

[Bill Maher]

Issues change.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I agree with you on a lot. I agree with you on a lot more than I disagree. But I do disagree with you on.

[Bill Maher]

And that's why you can't watch the show anymore. No. Cause you might disagree. Come on. That's what it sounded like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Don't be so sensitive.

[Bill Maher]

That's what it sounded like. So you can watch somebody you don't agree with.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Of course.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Of course. I mean, God, well, you know, I can watch Charlton Heston movies.

[Bill Maher]

Right. Well, you know, again, if you'd ever seen the show recently. I talk about this a lot. I talk about a lot. The idea that, yes, things change. I pretty much stayed the same old school liberal. But then people will say you're more conservative. Well, no, actually, I didn't change. I'm the old liberal who believes that, you know, we should strive for a colorblind society. I didn't change the rules to. No, let's see, Color everywhere in every situation. That's what the woke do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So because I didn't follow you there doesn't mean that I changed. That changed. I mean, I'm old school Obama. Like what you were talking about. That's not. That guy does not. That's what Tim Scott now sounds like. And he's a Republican. Yeah. Like, my story isn't possible in any other country. And that kind of. You don't find that anymore on the left. On the far left.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I also. I think it's a multifaceted evolution. I think social media and the rise of social media and the way it's rewired our brains has changed the way certain people on the left perceive you, whether they know it or not. I think there are things that you. Boy, I'd love to pull you back over to, you know, crazyville? Go get the shot with me.

[Bill Maher]

No, I told you, I got.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But I do think there are things that, yes, the left has changed. And I mean, I'm sure you read Jonathan Haidt. I'm sure you read. Love him too.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Finding my page.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. On college campuses, that. The fact that there's a. A rejection of open debate. When I was in college, there were classes that I was in where yo. Wow, this is an uncomfortable topic. And yet I'm sure glad that I was there because it was good for my intellect and what's left of it.

[Bill Maher]

Tell me what we disagree on when you do real time and we'll try to make that the topic, because I'd love to.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, look, I think we disagree on the fact that. I think that the public health infrastructure, despite being absolutely inadequate prior to Covid, did as good a job as they could have done during COVID And it pisses me the fuck off when I see people. Shit on them.

[Bill Maher]

When I see people, I see it must because you steered it all the way back to that again.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But that's something.

[Bill Maher]

We disagree like an old married couple that can't forget that I looked at that waitress for two seconds too long. Yeah, I'm sorry. I was ordering. What should I do? Look at the ground. Yeah, I'll have the beef stroganoff. And could I get another iced tea?

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, I'm just saying. You like Bonnie Franklin. She was also a redhead. You know, what's a wife to think?

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I can't go out on my own anymore with a. You see? You don't want to get married. No, not. That's what it's going to be.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, not to you.

[Bill Maher]

No, but like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, I don't want to get married to you. No.

[Bill Maher]

No. But I'm just. It's not the person. It's.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You did say.

[Bill Maher]

No, it's not the person. I don't think mostly it's the fact that anyone who sees the same person day after day after day after day, you're going to have a erosion of sensitivity and patience and, you know, things that were charming are going to be tedious at some point.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay. But what happens when you need help taking a shit?

[Bill Maher]

That is the last thing I would want anyone who I ever wanted to think of me as sexy to help me with. Right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Is to. I mean, how could you.

[Bill Maher]

How could you ever have those two things in the same relationship?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, I don't know. You get old enough and maybe it just becomes a Necessity.

[Bill Maher]

What do you mean, help? I think a shit. I don't even know how you do.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What do you do? Stick.

[Bill Maher]

Stick something up my ass, I mean. Oh, please.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I think there's a little kit you buy, right? And then, you know, you go online. Do you watch a YouTube instructional video? I don't know. Listen, I'm not there yet. I don't know.

[Bill Maher]

You're so far.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You're not there yet.

[Bill Maher]

Even I'm far from there. That's never gonna happen to me. Please put a bullet in my head if I'm ever at that place. Of course. You know what? You say that when you get there, it's just like a little to the left.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Bill Maher]

Let me move.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's when I show up at your house, Bill. I've already told me this day would come. Heard you've been having trouble taking a.

[Bill Maher]

Shit, but honestly, you know, I've been already at my age, been down that road to the degree of something I heard about and went, oh, it's happening. I'll never do that. Do that. And then. Yeah, you will.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm peeing in Morse code. And then what happens? Three in the morning?

[Bill Maher]

No, but, you know. Well, you know what I don't want to talk about. I'm just kidding. But, yeah, I mean, sometimes they gotta stick some instrument up your dick or something and it's like. You know the thing you said? They will never put a camera up my dick. Yeah, they will. Sure they will. And you'll like it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's just for coverage.

[Bill Maher]

You'll like it. We'll give you Valium. You'll like it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Bill, we just need one more shot and then we all get to go home.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, the camera loves my dick.

[Seth MacFarlane]

We're going to need a. Sorry, we're going to need a 17 here. That's a. That's a DP joke. I don't know what 17 is. When you want something to look.

[Bill Maher]

I don't even know this. What is a 17?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, there's different lenses on a camera, so, like, if maybe your dick's too narrow, they would ask for like a. We're gonna need a 17.

[Bill Maher]

Really? Oh, that's.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Boy, yeah. That was a cinematography humor.

[Bill Maher]

When I'm outside the circle of who can get this joke? That's a pretty small circle, I gotta say again, I don't think of myself as young or naive. And yet I was. But, yeah, I'm not. I've never ever.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, if they say, like, okay, we got Bill's penis, let's I'm gonna get a 40, then you're okay.

[Bill Maher]

Mamet says being a director is the best job in the world.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It can be.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. It's just.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It would be great if the hours weren't so long.

[Bill Maher]

I'll bet.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's the thing that I dread. If it were an eight hour day, you'd be like, this is a dream.

[Bill Maher]

But also, isn't it like. I mean, the stress of. I mean, the director is basically solving every problem on the movie in every department. So aren't you solving like a thousand problems?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Here's. Okay, you know what?

[Bill Maher]

This looks stressful.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is a great. This is a great segue into something that we will agree on. Is that, yes, a film director's job or a television director's job is essentially to sit there in their little chair with their name on it and to have people from every department, presumably all of whom know their jobs better than you know their jobs. They come to you like, hey, here's 12 choices for this costume for next week. And you go, I think this one, you have a little discussion with them. They tell you what they think. And generally, more often than not, you go with what they think because they're the expert. The set designer says, we have this version and this version. Here's why I think this would work. And more often than not, you say, yeah, all right, let's go with this. Sometimes you disagree. And that's like a teeny tiny version of what the presidency is and why when you vote for somebody, and this is, if there's one thing I think has yet to be said about this upcoming election, because we all know it's Trump versus Biden, assuming he doesn't wind up in prison, is that you're voting for a team. That you're not voting for a person. You're electing a team. And you can have a team of people who were selected for their expertise and selected for their mastery of their individual piece of the puzzle, or you can elect a team that is there to say, yes, sire, whatever you say. And for me, that's a no brainer. That's a no brainer. It's fdr, it's Hitler. And I know the Hitler comparisons are no good, but you know and I know FDR trusted his team and Hitler was a micromanager.

[Bill Maher]

Here's what I don't like about Hitler. Sentences. You never hear, yeah, no, you know what I don't like? What?

[Seth MacFarlane]

First of all, okay, here we go. What don't you like about Hitler?

[Bill Maher]

This thing like Everybody else, but he just.

[Seth MacFarlane]

He just kind of phoned it in. Very privilege. That's what you hate the most about Hitler.

[Bill Maher]

Very privilege. Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

He was like. I mean, by that point, he'd probably done it a thousand times. Everybody else signing your autograph, it's like.

[Bill Maher]

Hey, I remember that. Hey, I remember a family episode.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes, okay.

[Bill Maher]

Family Guy episode where Peter.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Hitler's assistant. Yeah. He's tossing the gun back and forth.

[Bill Maher]

It's like a child in the parents office. He's like, what are you doing? Nazi stuff? You remember that?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes, yes. Oh, yeah, I was there.

[Bill Maher]

I know, but you've done a lot of. How many episodes of that show?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, it's got to be going. Gone late high four hundreds. That's close to 500.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I think real time is probably close to 700.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yeah, I would imagine.

[Bill Maher]

And Politically Incorrect was over 2000. Because it was on every night.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You did that show every night?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, well, no, we had like any show.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Did you do a monologue on that show? It's been so.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So how the fuck.

[Bill Maher]

Every night. Like, it was just like, I guess.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Like a late night show.

[Bill Maher]

It was on. Remember, it was on after Nightline.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So it was. It started at 12, as opposed to 11:30, when like Leno and whoever the other Letterman. But it did very well. Yeah, Did a great. The retention from Nightline was great.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And Ted Koppel was no help. And they had like six minutes of commercials in between shows. They were daring people not to stay tuned. Now they would do fucking copple. Exactly. Now. Oh, I could tell you this story. He was an asshole.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, really?

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. About the. You know. Cause he was. Nightline was very esteemed. Very esteemed newsman, which he was. I give him that props. But he was. So in 1993, now they're gonna put this comedy show on after me. I think he thought it was very undignified. So we had to do one promotional thing and he was just a dick about it. Just like, no help throwing me an anchor kind of thing. Years later, he calls up. He was doing some CBS this Morning or some show like that, and he wanted me to do something. And no. I said, no, no, no. He finally get on the. Can you talk to him? I said, okay. So I got on the phone and I said, no, I'm not doing your show. You're a fucking asshole. I was on the right foot. We talk, you know, finally convinced me to do it. I'm like, okay, I don't want to be a grudge Holder, he comes over. We were shooting it right across the way where there's a place you can. Great sound in that house. And he walks in and the dog is barking. I hear bark, bark, bark, bark. And I walk in. The first thing he says to me is, bill, your dog thinks I'm a dick, too. I thought that kind of redeemed me. Yeah, you know, it was. That's an olive branch out of Ted Koppel. And that's a dead on Ted Koppel.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's a white dove. That is a dead on Ted Koppel.

[Bill Maher]

No, it's not.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You got Ted Koppel. You got Gavin McLeod.

[Bill Maher]

Godfather.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Is that anything else you're holding in your bag?

[Bill Maher]

Rhett Butler.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You do a Brett Butler? Rhett Butler. Is it Rhett or Brett?

[Bill Maher]

Rhett.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Rhett. You've never said God with the Wind, is it? No. You know who I was thinking of? I was thinking of Grace Under Fire.

[Bill Maher]

That's Brett Butler.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Rhett Butler was the.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Rhett Butler is Gone with the Wit. This is like the worst Abbott and Costello routine ever.

[Bill Maher]

This is. This is the character Clark Gable.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Flip. Rhett Butler. Yes, yes, but I. You.

[Bill Maher]

But.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Because you're completely fucking stoned. I couldn't tell whether there was a B there or not.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Now I know that there's not. Now I know. So you do a Rhett Butler.

[Bill Maher]

I don't know who you think is stoned.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So let's see you do a Rhett Butler. Let's hear that.

[Bill Maher]

No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing and badly. So you see, my dear, you've debased yourself to no purpose. Right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, that's. That's excellent.

[Bill Maher]

Why do Japanese girls taste different than all other girls? I found the cure for cancer and I've lost it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, Medicine Man. Medicine Man.

[Bill Maher]

Pretty good. Sean Connery.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, that's a damn good Sean Connery. There was. There was a. There was a God again. I'm doing everybody else's bits here. My friend John Viner, writer for Family Guy, does a great bit. Sean Connery. What do you call those things that you use to start your automobile? Carcass. What do you call a dead, decomposing body carcass? And there's one more, and now I can't remember it, but I'd say it has something to do with the Middle East.

[Bill Maher]

That's a pretty good Sean Connery.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, well, that's me doing. I can do Marty McFly and back to the Future.

[Bill Maher]

I never saw Back to the Future. What I know should I never see.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You know what this is? This is one of those things.

[Bill Maher]

Mere communist.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You gotta come over to the house and we gotta watch. You've never seen Back to the Future?

[Bill Maher]

Wait a second.

[Seth MacFarlane]

How have you never seen Back to the Future?

[Bill Maher]

Go back to the future, Doc.

[Seth MacFarlane]

How have you never seen Back to the Future? You've never seen Back to the Future.

[Bill Maher]

Go back to. Come over to the house. Is this another.

[Seth MacFarlane]

How have you never seen Back to the Future?

[Bill Maher]

Isn't that great? I have a treat left for me. See, that's the thing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm shocked. It's a perfect movie.

[Bill Maher]

It is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's like fucking the Sound of Music or, you know, or Night of the Generals.

[Bill Maher]

Night of the Generals? Why? Why? That's a great movie.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Cause there was a week where you were watching that on repeat and you kept saying, I watched Night of the Generals again today.

[Bill Maher]

I did?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Peter o'. Toole. You're watching it over and over and over.

[Bill Maher]

Peter o'. Toole.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And we had drinks, and then you said, I'm gonna go home, watch Night of the Generals. I was like, you've already watched it.

[Bill Maher]

This is writer's embellishment. I definitely did see Night of the Generals. I was not watching it on repeat. Don't say that. People think Bill is, like a binging Nazi. No, I watched.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You watched it more than once that week.

[Bill Maher]

I did not watch it more than once. You added that. I promise you, I did not.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What if this is the thing that broke up our friendship?

[Bill Maher]

You mean, after all the.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Why didn't they speak for 20 years? Because there was an argument about how many times Bill watched Night of the Generals in one week.

[Bill Maher]

Nothing can break up our friendship. We're there to the end.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Because we've already been through the mill.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

And we don't. You know, it's like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right. Who do you think's gonna die first?

[Bill Maher]

Well, I hope it's you. I mean, if we're being.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That kind of honesty is why I just. Right.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, isn't that what we all think? I mean, when you hear about.

[Seth MacFarlane]

We all hope we're gonna outlive the other.

[Bill Maher]

Well, when you hear about someone dying, you're very sad. But if someone put a gun to your head, would you trade places? No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Well, no. I mean, it depends on who it is, I guess, but.

[Bill Maher]

I may have quoted this before, but I remember in the George Harrison documentary, when Roy Orbison dies, this is Tom Petty talking about George. Roy Orberson dies. He said, answers the phone. It's George. And his first words were, aren't you glad it's not you? Yeah. And that was Beatlesque honesty from a guy who was super spiritual, you know, who. Like, he could have said, he's with the other gods right now, and he is in a better place because Vishnu has taking him. But no, aren't you glad? And that's, you know, look, we all love other people, but, you know, it's. It's a.

[Seth MacFarlane]

We all love other people. That's a very true Eric Fromm.

[Bill Maher]

Now that's.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You can never love another person unless you learn to love the entire human race.

[Bill Maher]

Like, I was thinking, can I come up with that name? And I could.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Wow. God.

[Bill Maher]

Squeaky.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I guess I kind of teed that up.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Squeaky Frum.

[Seth MacFarlane]

If you can find the Venn diagram. I guess there's probably a fair amount of people who know who Erich Fromm is and who Squeaky Fromm is.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly. And.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But also who get comedy.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Then that joke works great.

[Bill Maher]

That is a Venn diagram.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That joke works great for those two people.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. My friend Chris Reed is the best for that. He's kid from kid and play. Oh, sure. So he knows everything in rap culture and all that. He also knows every. He's just a voracious consumer of. So, like, you know, Sinatra. If you want to make a Sinatra. Jay Z comparison, he can. I mean, people have made that one. That's a bad example. But, like, there's very few people like that who, you know, we're also in our silos, in our little, like, niche areas. And that's where it gets interesting when you are, you know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

And it's unfortunate because the audiences, they limit us because, you know, you. I'm not gonna do jokes that are only band laughs.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Right, Right.

[Bill Maher]

Once in a while. Right. Once in a while, you do one for yourself and for that small group because that's. Those are probably your most rabid fans.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

So it's always a mixture of, you know, stuff that's a little broader. Neither one of us, I don't think, ever gets very broad. That's just not ours.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no, we don't. We don't. We don't have a trunk full of props.

[Bill Maher]

Props can be hip, but like. But, like, just the, you know, the sophistication. I mean, I like to think of us, then probably.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, that's adjacent. That's prop adjacent behind you.

[Bill Maher]

That's a joke. Is it that this poster of the movie.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no. The guys in the band oh.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, that's an art piece. That's. That's worth a lot of money. Is it? Yeah. That moves, that thing, does it? Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Do you have cameras on it? No, but have you ever turned it on during Club Random?

[Bill Maher]

No, it's. It's. It's noisy and kind of creepy because of those.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It looks like. It looks creepy even when it's off.

[Bill Maher]

But you could know. I could make that band play. Really?

[Seth MacFarlane]

If we wish hard enough.

[Bill Maher]

No, I just. By plugging it in, I'm telling you.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, you got to plug it in.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but it's an art. Art piece. Not the thing on.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Where does it come from? Not the big Hershey's Kiss on the top.

[Bill Maher]

No, that. That's a prop from something else. That. That doesn't belong there. It's Club Random. Everything is random here. Okay? That's what it is. Don't bother me with.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Hey, man, you invited me.

[Bill Maher]

I know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Don't bother me.

[Bill Maher]

So glad you came. Took long enough. Looks like every week. Like, what's that movie where Judy Garland is as a. She's writing to dear Mr. Gable. You know that she's writing. She's writing on a headshot of Clark Gable. It's a very famous summer stock. I don't know. Something like that. I thought you would know. Don't you watch those old movies? Yeah, sure. Yeah. Back to watching movies with your partner.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You've never seen Back to the fucking Future, Right?

[Bill Maher]

And I've never seen Back to the Future.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Here's what we gotta do.

[Bill Maher]

Why don't we go into your big.

[Seth MacFarlane]

There's two baller. This is what I'm saying. There's two things we gotta do. I wanna come do your show again, but you gotta come over. I live like five minutes from you.

[Bill Maher]

I'm no kidding.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So you gotta come over to the house. We'll pick a night and we'll watch. We'll just be two men alone in the screening room watching Back to the Future.

[Bill Maher]

What could happen?

[Seth MacFarlane]

There's nothing wrong with that.

[Bill Maher]

Nothing wrong with that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

If you have a problem with that, you're the problem with society.

[Bill Maher]

Right? Absolutely. I say the same thing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Is there something you can take so that if you are roofied. Nullifies the effect of the drug? I'm just asking. Sometimes there are drugs that contradict and I'm just thinking it might be a good idea. No, I remember being in that room and I was watching because it is the all time greatest show, Cosmos. That's so great. And I'd seen it at Least twice all the way through. But this, I think, was the pilot. And it was just like being in the planetarium. It was. And I remember being in the planetarium.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And it was, you know.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. That was an important show. My God, we need that show now more than ever, don't we? That was 10.

[Bill Maher]

You know what I loved about that show, especially that first season? Every week. Okay, I don't need that. What'd you drop the joint? But it's fine. I know it's mop pot.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Is this like a.

[Bill Maher]

What?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, that's what?

[Bill Maher]

Naugahyde.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, it's like.

[Bill Maher]

You wanna take it out?

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, no, no, it's fine.

[Bill Maher]

Oh.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Just felt like it was. It's fine. It's all good.

[Bill Maher]

So, like, every week it would, you know, sort of profile a certain scientist in the history of science. You know, some of them were ones we had heard of, like, you know, Newton. Sir Isaac Newton. And then some were like, maybe I'd heard the name, but I didn't really know what they did. And some had never heard it before.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Pat Patterson.

[Bill Maher]

Who?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Pat Patterson. Who was the guy that said, hey, there's lead in this paint?

[Bill Maher]

Pat Patterson was on Rawhide.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Pat Patterson was. Claire Patterson was his name. Pat Patterson was his nickname.

[Bill Maher]

He just sounds like a guy who was on Rawhide. Okay, so Pat Patterson, whoever. But they all did, like, he discovered, like, you know, something with light or something that was so important in, like, having radio and, like, these fundamental things. And you realize, like, all of the way we live it is from, like, a couple dozen people.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

A couple.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Science.

[Bill Maher]

Or else we would just be wiping our ass with bark and, by the way, eating roots.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Only in the past. Like, you look at the tens of millennia that passed before the advent of science, and then here comes science, what, four, 500 years ago? Barely 500 years ago. And suddenly it's like the computer revolution. Suddenly the speed picks up like that, and here we are at Club Random with a band that supposedly, by your own admission, has its own thing.

[Bill Maher]

When we go off, I'll play it for you.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. I can't.

[Bill Maher]

You'll regret it. But I'll do it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, I'm sure I will. But it's. But it's. But what does that tell you about that tool and the disregard we have for that tool in 2023? And to a certain science, right? To a certain degree, science. To a certain degree, social trust is a part of science. Because I'm sure you're a fan of Tom Nichols. Tom Nichols. Don't know that he wrote the Death of Expertise, which is essentially.

[Bill Maher]

I've heard of the book.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, great book. He writes for the Atlantic a lot. I think he was a Republican at one point. Now he's very much a centrist. And the Death of Expertise was about the fact that, look, we all. This is what civilization is. This is what society is. We all try to pick a discipline that works for us and we work hard and that's why there are doctors and engineers.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And we all trust each other.

[Bill Maher]

I know. Another subtle attempt to basically say, I have the science and you don't. Oh, and you don't have. Okay, you don't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't understand.

[Bill Maher]

Do you know that?

[Seth MacFarlane]

But without social trust, there's so much that you can't get done.

[Bill Maher]

Well, there's. And too much trust is called naivete. Sure. Okay, so you know that two years ago they discovered a bacteria that was naked to the human eye. They had never seen it before, was.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Not aware they were fully naked.

[Bill Maher]

Again with the. And then one of the scientists who was describing it said it would be like finding a human today who was the size of Mount Everest. Okay. And this was two years.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You should have seen me when I was, you know, 29.

[Bill Maher]

This is two years ago. I'm just saying, like, enough with the. When have we ever been wrong? And what information could we possibly lack? We're at the infancy, we're at the infancy of understanding these things that I.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Think you have a misconception of the way most scientists think.

[Bill Maher]

I don't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't think scientists. When have I ever been wrong? The whole idea.

[Bill Maher]

No, but they want to shut up everybody else who doesn't. Exactly.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But that's why it works. That's why it works that we're shutting people up within this. Okay. Within the scientific community. That's why it works. Because if you put something out there that's wrong, 10 other scientists come along.

[Bill Maher]

But we don't know what's wrong.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Ten other scientists are going to come along and say that's wrong and here's why. And this guy's a shame. But 16, it's a self policing enterprise. What you don't get to do is you don't get to be Sean Hannity debating Bill nye or debating Dr. Larry brilliant. You don't get to be like that person debating because you didn't put the work in.

[Bill Maher]

No, I agree. Not SEAN Hannity, but 16,000 doctors and scientists.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, you're gonna give me the Great Barrington Declaration.

[Bill Maher]

Correct.

[Seth MacFarlane]

First of all, it was 6,000.

[Bill Maher]

No, it was 16,000.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Was it 16,000?

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

Signed something that basically was.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Are you sure about that? 16,000. Do you want to look that up?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. I don't have to, but we can. And anything could be wrong because, again, I am not the kind of person.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay, but here's two.

[Bill Maher]

I'm always open to new information.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I know. Okay, well, here's some new information about the Great Barrington Declaration, which, for people who don't know, was put out by 6,000 or 16,000 if we both weren't drunk or.

[Bill Maher]

High Point is a lot. A lot, a lot of centers who are there. Why are your doctors better than my doctors is my question. Doctors disagree. I can't get them to agree on my health issues.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Here's several things about the Great Barrington Declaration which basically said probably, like a few months before the first vaccines came out, they were like, now's the time to let her rip. It's like being a month out from the end of World War I and saying, this is the time to really fucking fucking. Let's let it all. Let's let it all cut that part out. Let me go back. Let me go back.

[Bill Maher]

You're obsessed with this.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is the alcohol talking. So two months before the first vaccines emerged, the Great Barrington Declaration came out. And these doctors said we should just do what Sweden. Do what Sweden did. Let it rip. Let the disease run wild, because this will be good for people's immunity. There were a lot of fake names in the Great Barrington declaration. There's a Dr. Johnny Bananas on there.

[Bill Maher]

He's good. He's good. He looked at my gout. He consults with Dr. Vinny von Botts.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Funded in part by the National Institute for Economic Research, which was funded by Charles Koch, the Koch brothers.

[Bill Maher]

He wore me down.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So there's an agenda there.

[Bill Maher]

I can't anymore. Ear warmer. You're right. Can we stop talking about that?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Maybe not the most reliable.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, well, the point is, let's forget the Great Barrington. I don't need the Great Barrington Declaration. There is a ruling.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't need the Great Barrington Declaration.

[Bill Maher]

I don't. I don't need any of you know what I have. You know what Missouri versus Biden was?

[Seth MacFarlane]

No. Now you educate me.

[Bill Maher]

Right. Well, see, because if you weren't in your bubble, you would have known that, too. But things like that don't get in when you're just looking at for the information you already wanna think you believe. Okay, but the Biden. Very big court ruling this year which said that the Media companies colluded with the government to keep information out of our hands. Missouri versus Biden, look it up, man. Look it up. And that's exactly what happened. I mean, the New York.

[Seth MacFarlane]

In what way? What was the source?

[Bill Maher]

Well, like for example, the New York Times, their Pulitzer Prize winning health reporter, they canned because they wanted to look into maybe the origins of COVID were in a lab in Wuhan, China, which of course they very well may have been. I said from the very beginning, this should not be a political issue. It could have started from the wet markets and it could have started in the lab. Let's not politicize it. They did. Now even Biden administration admits, yes, it might have been coming from a lab. But the New York Times wouldn't let you hear that information. Yeah, yeah, that was misinformation. See, that's a danger in saying misinformation because tomorrow that misinformation might be yours.

[Seth MacFarlane]

What's fucked about that? And again, I'm sure there was a conversation behind the scenes that went on in this regard is that when you hear originated in a lab, you think, oh, it was cooked up by scientists. It was cooked up by people as a weapon. Like when I think, when I think.

[Bill Maher]

Not necessarily as a weapon studying it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

But the average person.

[Bill Maher]

Gain of function study.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Exactly, exactly. But the average person doesn't think that. They think made in a lab. They think, oh, this is a bioweapon.

[Bill Maher]

Who gives a fuck what they think? We're talking about government policy.

[Seth MacFarlane]

They vote.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, but then they're not. I don't know what they're voting on because I lost track of this. But if they're voting on the idea that the virus could have started in a lab, my theory is it probably did. I don't think they intentionally let it out. But it's also not completely impossible that the government of China would do that. Government of China does a lot of awful things. They do. And that's why the New York Times wouldn't cover it. And their reporter said, someday we're gonna look back at this and understand that we shouldn't have been looking at it at all because it's racist. Racist because they're Chinese. They're perfect people because they're Chinese.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay? And here's where.

[Bill Maher]

That's where the woke are.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay, well, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but at this point in time, when the people who are most likely to dismantle democracy would love nothing more than to hear you say, and I'm Look, I'm not gonna comment on something that I haven't researched.

[Bill Maher]

You're too tribal. Everything has to be part of the tribe. That's not it at all. I'm sorry that I can't, like, always say the thing that will not piss off the tribe if it's true on the other side.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm not gonna contradict. I'm sorry, because I don't know. I would have to go on my phone after this interview, go, wow, I don't know what Bill was talking about. I guess I should look into it, which I do all the time. It's like, I'm not stupid enough to say, yes, is that possible? But we are living in a time where we're caught in this neutral zone between the people who would love nothing more than to see the enterprise of the press dismantled, completely gone. And so I'm a little more forgiving of mistakes than maybe I have been in the past, because I don't want to see that happen. Because I do believe the press is the fourth estate. I do believe the press keeps.

[Bill Maher]

A.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Good bit of checks and balances when it comes to politicians.

[Bill Maher]

The press. The press is the press.

[Seth MacFarlane]

New York Times, the Washington Post, even the Wall Street Journal.

[Bill Maher]

But you just mentioned all the liberal press that used. I used to.

[Seth MacFarlane]

The Wall Street Journal. I think the Wall Street Journal is a legitimate. Well, of course, they are very conservative. It's op ed section aside.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Which is batshit crazy. But the reporting in the Wall Street Journal is solid. That's a conservative. I don't think Fox News is solid, but I think the Wall Street Journal is respectful.

[Bill Maher]

But the problem with the media, the world we live in now, is that they.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Not just the liberal press.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, but the problem with any press, but definitely including liberal press, is that when I hear something, I'll go, okay, you know what? What you're saying is probably true, but it's half the story. Yeah, that's. I don't trust either of them, and that's.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, okay, okay.

[Bill Maher]

You're just telling me the part that fits me.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Saying you don't trust either of them is like, do you. It's like, I don't trust the New York Times or Fox News.

[Bill Maher]

I don't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You can't equate those two, though.

[Bill Maher]

I don't. I don't equate those two.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay, good. Thank God.

[Bill Maher]

Never did. Made that point many times.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. All right. Good, good, good. And if I had watched your fucking show, I'd know this exactly.

[Bill Maher]

Do you have to get to dinner? I don't want to hold.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'll come out of here by 7:15.

[Bill Maher]

I don't want to hold you, but I would do this until I had to pee. Do you have to pee? No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You don't?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

Neither do I. But that was the only. But you're healthy, right?

[Seth MacFarlane]

I am. Oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

What?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes. No, that was. That was a left turn. I am healthy.

[Bill Maher]

I do that often.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I am healthy. You know, Bill, it's.

[Bill Maher]

You look healthy.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I was going to announce it at some point. I might as well do it on this show.

[Bill Maher]

You're pregnant. Men can get pregnant now. Don't say different. I'm pregnant.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. No, I. No, I'm healthy, as far as I know. Yeah. I just did the. I have a physical twice a year because I'm a crazy person.

[Bill Maher]

That's not crazy. That's not crazy?

[Seth MacFarlane]

No.

[Bill Maher]

Well, it depends. I mean, there are things that they can do during a physical that would be deleterious to your health. X rays and things like that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah, I don't need that finger in my ass every time.

[Bill Maher]

Not every time.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Sometimes at three in the morning, I get a call. How many times? And it's like, hey, just want to make sure the prostate's okay. What fucking time is it?

[Bill Maher]

How many times do you get a prostate check and enjoy it before you're gay?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Five.

[Bill Maher]

There you go.

[Seth MacFarlane]

See, I was right there. Yeah, yeah. Ready? Ready for you this time.

[Bill Maher]

See? Oh, God.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That was a nice little. That was a nice little squeak. That was real delight right there. That was a delighted laugh.

[Bill Maher]

You've always been a delightful person. Oh, I just noticed.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

This is from the movie I was in. It sits in this room. If anything belongs in Club Random, it is a sign that. A sign. It was a cue card from A Million Ways to Die in the West. Brilliant concept, by the way. I always told you that. I know you're out there. I can smell cow vagina. Because I was the comic in the movie in a scene. And my dear friend Mark Monto played the cue card guy holding my cue cards up.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And the cue cards, of course, they're big pieces of wood. Cause it's the frontier era, Right? But not only that. You came to set with additional jokes.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I wrote that. My guys worked in. They're like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I think they're like three jokes from the script.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. And then you came. You said you wanted a whole monologue. Yeah. The only thing I objected to about this is it implies. See, this is a savor. I know you're out There. I can smell cow vagina. It implies that I can't adlib.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Shouldn't it be smell the cow vagina? It's too late for rewrites because the.

[Bill Maher]

Movie came out, but it's exactly the way it should. Okay, I can smell cow vagina.

[Seth MacFarlane]

All right, great.

[Bill Maher]

But I've always treasured this.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And there's a whole bunch of them.

[Bill Maher]

I looted it from the set. Oh, good. I'm so glad.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Cause I don't know where the other ones are.

[Bill Maher]

No, you gave it to me. Oh, my God. You also gave me once. I mean, I could probably.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yes, Quagmire. I mean, you have the original Quagmire sketch from a million years ago.

[Bill Maher]

You would not believe what this got underneath.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I think that's appropriate. This place looks like Quagmire's home, Right?

[Bill Maher]

It's in my home. It's right. It's in the most prominent place it can be. And I don't care what they offer me on ebay. And the number keeps going up.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Look, Bill, at a certain point. Don't be stupid.

[Bill Maher]

Now, I'm sure it would fetch a fortune and I would not sell it for anything.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I mean, the neon bill alone in this.

[Bill Maher]

I could be living under the underpass, and I would have that with me. I'm joking. I would have fucking sold it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

And not. Let's be practical here.

[Bill Maher]

Come on. I said I want you to die before me. I'm not gonna start lying about shit now. Come on. We're past that. So where are you eating tonight? I'm very curious where a celebrity goes these days. Do you go to the hot spots or do you go to the place where you can be more low key?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Do I get. I generally pick the more low key places. I generally pick my. Tomorrow we're getting some sushi this evening.

[Bill Maher]

You and a lady friend. Mm.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Mm.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, no.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm having dinner with my agent.

[Bill Maher]

Seriously, Isn't that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Isn't that. Yeah. And he's. And by the time this glass is empty, I'm gonna be giving him 20%, which is just not good.

[Bill Maher]

What'd you lose a bet? Huh? Why are you. No, it's. Cause I. No, I'm kidding. Agents are like congressmen. We all like our own. But they have a terrible reputation on Mass. Right. Congress, but a budget. But they keep returning their own congressmen. Congressmen win office like 96% of the time, get reelected, everybody complains, and then they like their own.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I love my agent. How long you been with your agent? You Know that joke about.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's been close to over 20 years.

[Bill Maher]

Wow.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Well, that's true, because I was with him and then I left for a while and then I came back. So if you. The totality of it, probably about 15 years.

[Bill Maher]

So you know the joke about the.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yes, I know. Can I tell you. What joke is this? The one about the confessional?

[Bill Maher]

No.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

No. An actor comes home and he sees his house. It's a smoldering ruin. You know this.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, and his wife is all tattered, and the dog is dead and the kids are dead. And he comes over and he says, honey, what happened? The wife says, oh, my God, your agent came over. He burned the house down. He raped me, killed the kids and the dog. And the actor says, my agent came by.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That's, like, not the joke I thought you were gonna tell.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I'm so glad you didn't know that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I thought you were gonna tell the one that you always tell me, and then every time I act like it's the first time I've heard.

[Bill Maher]

Really? What one was that?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Like the guy who goes to confessional. What is it? I believe you know, Mr. Cohen.

[Bill Maher]

I never told you that.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You've told me that five times. I've never told that five times. Hasn't he told me that five times?

[Bill Maher]

He's told me that you're drinking. The drinking is affecting your memory. I would never listen.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I'm not gonna argue that you may.

[Bill Maher]

Have seen it five times. It was my first joke. I did it when I was 27 on the Tonight Show. No, you're proud of it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You should be proud of it.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not proud. I would never tell a joke, even when I was doing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I believe you know, Mr. Cohen, that you have.

[Bill Maher]

Of course, you told me that joke. Yes. I've never personally told you that joke.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Maher]

Are you serious? I. I am, totally.

[Seth MacFarlane]

So you have.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. You're delirious.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Because somebody told me that joke a week ago and I said, I've heard that joke. Bill Maher told me that joke.

[Bill Maher]

You saw it on television or some clip, and then you. And then you trans that to. To real life.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Listen, it's you. You're the one who's smoking too much. You have 100% told me that joke.

[Bill Maher]

I would never do such a thing.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I believe you know, m. Look, don't let the war make you revise history.

[Bill Maher]

I believe I've been to town I've crossed the highways and the harbors too.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I've done some things I never Thought I'd ever do, like, tell Seth that joke. I can't believe you don't remember telling me that joke. This is like. Is this how it starts?

[Bill Maher]

It totally.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Think hard.

[Bill Maher]

It never happened. And five times. Why would I be repeating my act? You think I was so insecure in my 50s that I was, like, doing my act for you? Like, in the private.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Not your whole act, but that joke. You were very proud of that joke, and you took and you. And you shared it with me.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, when I was seven, I was proud of it. Other than that, it's just a historical remnant. It was fine for that age. I don't do it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is what it's like to be fucking married.

[Bill Maher]

It really is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is exactly what it's telling.

[Bill Maher]

Don't do it.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It's like telling you. Is this what marriage is like? I'm telling you it is. You told me the Mr. Cohen jokes.

[Bill Maher]

They have chairs like this. They do. They have Archie. These are Archie's chairs.

[Seth MacFarlane]

They really are.

[Bill Maher]

They really are. Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

This is like, stifle. How many of Bill Cosby's sweaters did you have to shred to make these chairs?

[Bill Maher]

Well, it is Club Random.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It is. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

This is very 80s. Oh, I wouldn't trade anything here, but what a great song that is. Really?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, how about the last. You're the one you love the one I love.

[Seth MacFarlane]

It isn't milky white, it's dingy gray.

[Bill Maher]

You ask me if I know the Milky Way. I do. And furthermore, I'd like to say it isn't milky white, it's dingy gray. Especially when your world breaks down. I know because I've been to town. What a great metaphor.

[Seth MacFarlane]

If you weren't doing, like, a slow push in on him throughout that, that was a fucking missed opportunity. And if not, you should figure out a way to do it in post. Just like a slow push in.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, look at you.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Because he's giving you the vibrato and everything.

[Bill Maher]

Once you're a director, I see you, like, you get that thing where you're telling yourself you think you can, like.

[Seth MacFarlane]

No, it's a moment.

[Bill Maher]

Right. But I'm saying you see life that way. Like, I could make. But also, I think.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I just don't think you'd do that for everyone.

[Bill Maher]

I don't.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I think maybe.

[Bill Maher]

Well, first of all, other than Jack Jones, no one would appreciate the song or know it that you. I got you into that album, too.

[Seth MacFarlane]

You got me into that album.

[Bill Maher]

And that is.

[Seth MacFarlane]

That is. That is. That is the album I now go to when I've had a bunch of drinks.

[Bill Maher]

Well, if people don't know we're drunk.

[Seth MacFarlane]

I don't take it seriously. And now I'm like, oh, I get it.

[Bill Maher]

It's so amazing. People don't know. Let me set the stage. It's 1969. Frank Sinatra did an album written all a theme album written by a gay man. Gay poet Rod McEwan. And it is thematic. It has in between all the songs there's talking parts. It's the little things in life that disappoint you, not the big things. The newspaper boy who says he'll bring you a paper and doesn't. The dry cleaner who says your suit will be ready and it isn't. That's in between.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Why haven't we done that live?

[Bill Maher]

That's in between the songs. Yeah.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But then it's called A Man Alive.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Ask me about Empty and his voice breaks.

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Seth MacFarlane]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I'm gonna go somewhere.

[Seth MacFarlane]

With Empty is a String of Dirty Days. Yes.

[Bill Maher]

How about the end? I'm going to go somewhere on an island with a mess of records.

[Seth MacFarlane]

A mess of records and a ukulele.

[Bill Maher]

But it's called A Man Alone. It's why I thought you would love it is because, you know, it speaks to us. We're bachelors who never got married. We're a man alone. But it says, you know, a man alone but not lonely. Except when the darkness comes. Yeah. Dreams. Midnight dreams that fell apart at dawn. It's brilliant.

[Seth MacFarlane]

There's something I have to tell you. I do have to pee so badly right now. I can't even.

[Bill Maher]

I know. You got.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Club Random. Thank you.

[Bill Maher]

Fabulous doing this. Anytime, anytime, my friend.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Anytime.

[Bill Maher]

I loved. We laughed, we cried.

[Seth MacFarlane]

Oh, yes.

[Bill Maher]

We fought. Oh, yes, we loved.

[Seth MacFarlane]

There's nothing. There's nothing. Well, there's nothing I love more than to argue with people I love.

[Bill Maher]

Not exactly Random.