Shane Smith | Club Random with Bill Maher

Summary

Podcast Summary: Club Random with Bill Maher Featuring Shane Smith
Episode: Shane Smith | Club Random with Bill Maher
Release Date: October 27, 2024

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Introduction

In this episode of Club Random with Bill Maher, host Bill Maher engages in an in-depth, hour-long conversation with Shane Smith, the co-founder of Vice Media. The discussion spans a wide array of topics, delving into Shane's extensive experiences in conflict zones, media coverage, generational perspectives, and global political dynamics.

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Overcoming Adversity: Shane’s Battle with Parasites [02:05]

Shane Smith opens up about his harrowing experience contracting a flesh-eating parasite in Afghanistan. He recounts the cultural challenges he faced, such as being urged by the Taliban to drink tea, which inadvertently led to his illness.

• Shane Smith: “I had a stomach, a flesh-eating parasite in my stomach. That was me in Afghanistan...” [02:06]

The World of Japanese Toilets and Travel Anecdotes [03:00]

The conversation shifts to the stark contrasts in sanitation across the globe. Shane expresses his fascination with Japanese toilets, describing them as a luxury amidst his rough travels.

• Shane Smith: “I am addicted to Japanese toilets. I must have them...” [03:45]

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Vice Media’s Pioneering Coverage and Challenges [04:00]

Bill and Shane discuss Vice Media's groundbreaking reporting in some of the world's most dangerous regions, including Venezuela, Afghanistan, and Somalia. They highlight the challenges faced, such as misinformation from traditional media outlets.

• Bill Maher: “You and your crew and your intrepid reporters went all around the world to the worst places...” [04:24]
• Shane Smith: “We were shitting on us from on high...” [21:51]

Navigating Cancel Culture and Media Support [23:00]

Shane shares frustrations with the media's negative portrayal of Vice, despite the network's efforts to provide authentic reporting. He praises HBO executive David Plur for standing by Vice during turbulent times.

• Shane Smith: “Plur called me when all that shit was going down. He said, you have a great show...” [23:24]

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Generational Reflections: Gen X vs. Gen Z [07:08]

The duo delves into generational differences, with Shane advocating for Gen X as the "luckiest generation in history" due to unprecedented economic prosperity and global stability during their formative years. Bill counters by suggesting Gen X was the "last sane generation."

• Shane Smith: “Gen X might have been the greatest single generation to live. The luckiest in history...” [08:44]
• Bill Maher: “I always say that I called Gen X the last sane generation...” [08:44]

Parenting Shifts: From Free-Range to Over-Supervised [09:00]

Bill and Shane debate the evolution of parenting styles, contrasting the hands-off approach of previous generations with today's highly supervised upbringing of children. Shane expresses confusion over the shift towards "over-parenting."

• Shane Smith: “We went from having no parental supervision to being overly suffocating...” [09:52]
• Bill Maher: “We weren't over-parented. I was definitely parented...” [10:22]

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Political Mechanics and Policy Wonks [28:33]

The discussion turns to the nature of politicians, with Shane asserting that most politicians, irrespective of party, tend to be narcissistic and megalomaniacal. Bill introduces Henry Waxman as an example of a dedicated policy wonk.

• Shane Smith: “All politicians are sort of narcissistic, charming megalomaniacs...” [28:19]
• Bill Maher: “Henry Waxman... he just did it all.” [28:52]

Media vs. Traditional News: The Role of Vice [60:06]

Shane emphasizes the importance of merging entertainment with serious journalism, praising Bill for his ability to infuse humor into political discourse. They discuss the limitations of traditional news formats compared to Vice's immersive reporting style.

• Shane Smith: “We have to shed light on the stuff that's important and do it in an entertaining way...” [60:35]
• Bill Maher: “That's important. And someone has to do that.” [60:41]

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Global Conflicts and Personal Reporting Experiences

Shane recounts his direct experiences in various conflict zones, including Liberia, Afghanistan, and Yemen. He shares intense stories about interacting with warlords like General Butt Naked in Liberia and his perilous ventures into Kandahar, Afghanistan.

• Shane Smith: “General Butt Naked became famous fighting against Charles Taylor...” [68:07]
• Bill Maher: “How do you get into Yemen?” [66:20]
• Shane Smith: “I took a freighter... It was like Blackhawk Down...” [75:36]

The Israeli-Palestinian Conflict and Abraham Accords [43:31]

The conversation addresses the complexities of Middle Eastern politics, specifically the Abraham Accords under the Trump administration. Shane criticizes the resultant destabilization in the region, attributing it to increased tensions with Iran.

• Shane Smith: “The GCC, the Abraham Accords have gone out. Everybody's just destabilized...” [44:00]
• Bill Maher: “Israel is their ancestral homeland. It does not the same thing as colonizing...” [48:05]

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Historical Context: Slavery and Colonialism [39:41]

Bill and Shane discuss the persistence of slavery-like conditions in modern times, highlighting the near-extremity of human trafficking and indentured servitude, particularly in Gulf states.

• Bill Maher: “Rich Gulf states... they treat them about as bad as you can treat a worker... almost slavery...” [40:01]
• Shane Smith: “We actually did story on it... They take your passport...” [40:43]

Cultural Reflections and Racism [36:11]

The hosts reflect on historical colonialism, acknowledging the negative impacts while also appreciating cultural exports like British comedy and TV. They critique the current discourse that often paints all non-white actions negatively.

• Bill Maher: “Everything that makes their lives possible was probably invented through Athens, Rome...” [36:11]
• Shane Smith: “They were doing some bad fucking things, the British...” [36:40]

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Concluding Thoughts: The Importance of Informed Discourse [58:20]

As the episode wraps up, Bill and Shane emphasize the necessity of informed and nuanced discussions about global issues. They critique superficial understandings perpetuated by media and social platforms like TikTok, advocating for firsthand experiences to foster genuine understanding.

• Bill Maher: “You're trying to educate you and maybe you wouldn't wind up on this side...” [48:33]
• Shane Smith: “Everything's about the politicians. They don't know what the fuck they're talking about...” [52:48]

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Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with mutual appreciation between Bill Maher and Shane Smith, highlighting the synergy between their approaches to media and discourse. They express enthusiasm for future collaborations and the continued pursuit of meaningful conversations.

• Shane Smith: “The left does politics through humor. You're funny and your politics are spot on...” [59:53]
• Bill Maher: “I love your podcast. I love it too...” [93:15]

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Notable Quotes

1. Shane Smith on Gen X:

   • “Gen X might have been the greatest single generation to live. The luckiest in history...” [08:44]

2. Bill Maher on Traditional News:

   • “Our job is to make interesting what's important.” [25:03]

3. Shane Smith on Media Misrepresentation:

   • “Everybody gets the same documentary of North Korea because they just give you the same one...” [22:09]

4. Bill Maher on Israel:

   • “Israel was in that land forever. It is their ancestral homeland.” [48:25]

5. Shane Smith on Over-Parenting:

   • “We went from having no parental supervision to being overly suffocating...” [09:52]

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Conclusion

This episode provides a comprehensive exploration of Shane Smith's experiences and viewpoints, framed by Bill Maher's incisive questioning and insights. Together, they navigate complex topics, offering listeners a blend of raw reportage, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful analysis.

Transcript

[Bill Maher]

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[Shane Smith]

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[Bill Maher]

Yes, General Butt Naked. Who's he? Did you ever interview him?

[Shane Smith]

I did.

[Bill Maher]

General Butt Naked.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. Club random. You brought it all around. You brought it all around. That's what Trump calls a weave. You just did a weave.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly.

[Shane Smith]

Club random.

[Bill Maher]

Shane, I haven't seen you in minutes. How have you been? How's the family?

[Shane Smith]

Good, thank you.

[Bill Maher]

How is the family? Last time I talked to you, you and your wife were getting over a case of some sort of parasite in your colon.

[Shane Smith]

Oh yeah, that was me. You?

[Bill Maher]

I thought you passed it to her or something.

[Shane Smith]

No. Well, I had a stomach. A flesh eating parasite in my stomach. That was. That was. I got in Afghanistan. And they always say whatever you do, don't drink llt in Afghanistan.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, don't I know it.

[Shane Smith]

And I was interviewing the head of the Taliban and he's like, have some tea. You know, Cause it's a cultural thing. And you're like, no thanks, I'm not, You know. And they're like, no, have the tea. And then there's silence in the room. So you're like, well, I guess I'll drink the tea. I drank the tea. Cut to me, you know, getting the butt drill, you know, and where they check for parasites. And I had the doozy of all.

[Bill Maher]

Parasites, but it doesn't affect them because they're so used to it.

[Shane Smith]

I was getting. I was supposed to get a no, so. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I was supposed to get a.

[Bill Maher]

Like Mexico.

[Shane Smith]

Like Mexico. Montezuma's Revenge. There you go. Water. Which, by the way, I've had many times as well. I have a lot of laws about traveling. One is, the worse the gdp, the better the chicken, because it's like yard birds, you know? And, you know, so the chicken, you're like, this chicken is delicious. But also, the more you need a toilet, the worse that toilet's gonna be. So. That's so true. If you're in sub Saharan Africa, there's just gonna be arcing ropes of shit everywhere. But if you're in Japan, where you're just gonna have a perfect. It's got, like, songs, and it'll wipe blowing airs. It's got songs. It's got songs. Yeah, you press the button.

[Bill Maher]

No, I know. I've been to people's houses here in wealthy Los Angeles, where I, you know, rarely leave, except for other parts of America, which is why I admire. And I can't figure out how to use the toilet. It's so complicated. It's like I have to, like, sheepishly walk out and say, listen, you know this. My pee is in your toilet. Thank God it wasn't nothing more severe, but my. Because I just can't figure it out.

[Shane Smith]

I am addicted to Japanese toilets. I must. I have PTSD from so much time on the road and so many stomach parasites. So Japanese toilets are my one luxury.

[Bill Maher]

Well, if people don't know what we're talking about. I mean, Vice, which started out, of course, is a magazine in Canada and then became this awesome show, which I had the honor of being an executive producer on, which means I did very little and slapped my name on it. But you and your crew and your intrepid reporters, but, you know, you leading them as the general, went all around the world to the worst places. I mean, that's what Vice was known for. It's why it was such an awesome show. And it was on HBO for how many years? Five? Seven.

[Shane Smith]

Seven years.

[Bill Maher]

And, you know, I mean, you would go to Venezuelan prisons and you would go to Afghanistan and you would go to Somalia and just. I mean, it's amazing that you don't look any worse for the wear, really.

[Shane Smith]

Thank you.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I just. But you got rid of the parasite.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, how do you get rid.

[Shane Smith]

Of that thing, you know, just very, very strong antibiotics, which, you know, probably will make me grow thumbs out of my back when I'm older, but, you know. Yeah, not good. Yeah. I mean, those were the good old days when. How that all started was we were in Iraq and we were shooting the only heavy metal band in Baghdad. And it was not a political thing, but we were there when W went and said, mission accomplished, and he was in the green zone and we were in the red zone, and everyone was shooting at us. And we're like, the war is not over. And they're like, see, that's real news. And we're like, real news. We're talking about heavy metal. And so what we decided to do is, you know, just go there. You know, production is just a plane ticket. So we're just $2,000, I think. I flew to Liberia for 600 bucks on Belgian air. And we went to. Because we had done this story in Vice where a two pack where a container had been stolen from a ship and it had two pack Shakur T shirts in it. So of course, it became an army's uniform. The Tupac army. And they fought General Butt Naked's army, who fought naked. And so that's a very Vice story. General Butt Naked versus the Tupac Army. So we're like, well, why don't we just go there?

[Bill Maher]

What do you think? If you had to be forced to move is the worst place in the world, where would you least like to have to go? I'm sure it's quite a final four. I mean, I mean, North Korea, Afghanistan. I mean, there's some great contenders for worst country to live in. Of course, the kids here in America, they know the answer. America, they live in the best place with all our flaws at the best time in history. And they think they're living at the worst time in the worst place.

[Shane Smith]

Best time in history by far. Yeah. I was saying that to someone the other day. I'm Gen X and Gen X, we're this sort of forgotten generation. And the boomers are on one side and Z's on the other side. And we had this weird existence of not being anywhere, really. And I was explaining to someone, I'm like. Like, if you believe Carl Sagan, which I do, saying, look, there's billions of years of evolution, billions and billions and billions, billions of planets, right? And there's this one tiny fucking window when humans can exist without, like, you know, mastodons killing us and, like, getting gutted by, like, a fucking pitchfork. And we live in that sort of one window. And not only did we live in that window, we live in the Gen X window which was like no war, economic prosperity, you could travel, there's luxury, there's Japanese toilets.

[Bill Maher]

I always say the 90s between AIDS and terrorism, like AIDS and AIDS is still around. But when it became not the terror it was in the 90s and terrorism was something that was still done. It was still being done in movies.

[Shane Smith]

Yes and no big war. So lots of freedom, Clinton luxury, travel, seeing the world, great food, foodism, hipsterism. And now like if you look, if you look at the environment, you look at AI going to be a huge disruptor. You look up and you say there is a good possibility that Gen X might have been the greatest single generation to live. The luckiest in history. Luckiest, luckiest in history. And I'm like, you know what? We should be happy every and also the last.

[Bill Maher]

I always say that I called Gen X the last sane generation because they were the last free range.

[Shane Smith]

Free range.

[Bill Maher]

I mean I don't know 100%. I don't know if you ever read Bret Easton Ellis book the last one. It's not a fiction, it's that he wrote a novel that he wrote a novel since. But this one was about five years ago we had him on the show. Not a good talk show guest, but a great writer.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, great writer.

[Bill Maher]

And he wrote, I think it's called White.

[Shane Smith]

Right. I'm going to read it.

[Bill Maher]

And it's a lot about being a free range kid in the 70s.

[Shane Smith]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

You know, and go. Yeah. And of course as a boomer, that was not even discussed. Of course you were free range.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, go, go play in the crick.

[Bill Maher]

I mean it was actually the reverse was horrible. If you were somehow needed your parents to shepherd you to places, you know, they were like, I'm not a chauffeur.

[Shane Smith]

Life was stand by me. You went out, there were dead kids, there were leeches, there were fucking trains, you know, and then you come back going mom, I live. Shut up. Eat your TV dinner.

[Bill Maher]

And it was fun.

[Shane Smith]

So fun, so fun.

[Bill Maher]

And made us better.

[Shane Smith]

Well, look, I don't know what the happened and somebody's a lot of people have written a lot of about this but we went from literally having no parental supervision to being like. I guess we're known as like the super most supervised I guess because we didn't have any and we're like there but for the grace of God go, I didn't die. So now we're overly suffocating or something. I Don't know. But like, why are our kids so parented and we kind of weren't parented, you know what I mean? I don't understand that.

[Bill Maher]

Well, we weren't over parented. I was definitely parented. I think they struck basically the right balance now, you know, Were they a little hands off, light on? Well, like, you know, I remember when I went through puberty, basically and into like having my first girlfriend. I mean, there was so little discussion of it in the house before, so little of making me feel comfortable with it. My father and I had one, you know, birds and bees discussion. Yes. And I remember he opened it with. Your mother thinks I should have this talk with you right away. The disclaimer, I'm distancing myself from this already.

[Shane Smith]

Not my idea, I have to do it.

[Bill Maher]

And I, you know. But mother thinks you should. We should have a discussion about sex. And I said, what is it you want to know, dad?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

No, I didn't say that because I certainly didn't know much either. We were very innocent in that era, but it was just. It was about the three minutes of the most excruciatingly awkward, embarrassing. And then we both were like, okay, we did it. We filled the quota, barely, but we had some sort of thing where the penis goes in the vagina and let's just keep painting the deck. Because we were like, painting the deck. Like, he chose that as the moment.

[Shane Smith]

That's the time we're going to be working. So I don't have to look at you.

[Bill Maher]

Right. We have an activity. It's like a director at a scene. You've got to have an activity while you're doing it. Yeah. You're unpacking the groceries while you're having the discussion about your marriage.

[Shane Smith]

I got. If she comes home pregnant, I'm going to kill you myself kind of thing. It was like from your father. Yeah, it was a given. It was a given that probably because.

[Bill Maher]

Did you get the talk about the. Do you remember that?

[Shane Smith]

I think he had, you know, I think he knew I knew pretty much everything because he knew how much of his porn I had snuck into.

[Bill Maher]

Your father had porn?

[Shane Smith]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Like magazines, old school magazines.

[Shane Smith]

Magazines, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. That's what I grew up on.

[Shane Smith]

And I remember like.

[Bill Maher]

Like which one?

[Shane Smith]

Videos and stuff were there.

[Bill Maher]

Canadian ones were there. Oh, like Playboy, where the pussy was very polite.

[Shane Smith]

I remember, I remember. Yeah, thank. I remember he had one which was. Do you remember Chichelina? Oh, Jesus. Chinchilina. Do you remember Chichelina?

[Bill Maher]

I don't.

[Shane Smith]

Know who is that so famous? Because that's why I said. Would you remember, speaking of Politically Incorrect, Cicciolina was an Italian porn star who became a member of parliament in Italy. Oh, yes, and married.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I know exactly who you're talking about.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Bill Maher]

Her name was Chicholina.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, Chichilina.

[Bill Maher]

That's her real name. Or her porn name.

[Shane Smith]

I think that's her porn name.

[Bill Maher]

Well, it matters to me.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. So Chichilina, he had a Chichelina tape. So I was like, yeah, that's where I learned my how to study politics right there.

[Bill Maher]

Tape. Like a vhs.

[Shane Smith]

Vhs.

[Bill Maher]

And you watched it when they weren't home?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, well, not when they were home. Yeah, right, then that'd be really fucking weird. Oh, dad, are you listening?

[Bill Maher]

Right?

[Shane Smith]

Can you hear the Italian?

[Bill Maher]

And what was it? Graphic?

[Shane Smith]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Blowjob and then fuck.

[Shane Smith]

Everything. Yeah. Anal, probably not, right? Anal's a recent thing.

[Bill Maher]

Not for Chichelina.

[Shane Smith]

Not for Chichelina.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, come on. I mean, it's bad enough.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, well, that's Italy. In Greece, that's Chichelina. Chichelina, that would be where we go first.

[Bill Maher]

Look, Chichelina did not get fucked in the ass. And I'm not going to listen to this.

[Shane Smith]

I think she said to somebody, Gorbachev or some president, I will fuck you to stop this war. Whatever war that particular war was.

[Bill Maher]

The Italians have had a rough enough week without thinking that Chichilina got fucked in the ass. You know why I say this? Why? Well, it was in the news yesterday that Columbus was a Jew.

[Shane Smith]

Oh, God help us all.

[Bill Maher]

Did you see that?

[Shane Smith]

No, no, no.

[Bill Maher]

They dug him up, right?

[Shane Smith]

Dug him up? Yeah, Columbus to do a DNA test.

[Bill Maher]

Buried in Seville.

[Shane Smith]

Really?

[Bill Maher]

He wasn't originally buried there. He wanted to be buried, I think, on Hispaniola because he discovered it. Of course, he never set foot in America, but it's another story. And then they moved the body at some point to somewhere else, and then it wound up in Seville. Is that what I just said?

[Shane Smith]

Seville?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, yeah, okay. In 1898. Dug him up, did the DNA testing, and of course they can't say for sure that he was a Jew. I mean, it wasn't like the skeleton was wearing a yarmulke, but, I mean, it was complaining about the air conditioning. Well, he's a skeleton. Come on. He's got no meat on him. Okay, so they said by the DNA, it's very highly likely that he was a Sephardic Spaniard.

[Shane Smith]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

He did go on his mission for Spain. Of course, even though they said he was Italian, he probably was born. I think he was born in northern Italy at the time. Genoa. Yes. Which was a city state.

[Shane Smith]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

But Jews were born all over as they were a diaspora, you know, so he could have been that. And. But they're saying. And then the drawings of him. I don't know how they get these drawings. I mean, he looks a little Jewy.

[Shane Smith]

I did not see that. But it's very.

[Bill Maher]

No, I mean, so if the kids needed one more reason to hate Columbus now that they hate the Jews too. There you go. It's like the unified theory of Jew hating the colonizers. Israel. Columbus is a Jew hater. I mean, come on. Okay, so what are the four worst countries in the world to be in?

[Shane Smith]

Look, to go there for a week. It's absolutely fascinating. We were speaking about sort of. Go where? North Korea. Oh, North Korea for a week.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, yeah. You went there a couple of times.

[Shane Smith]

A bunch of times. But like, to go there as. It's like Disneyland for political wants.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I remember. That was the Vice episode that got us the most publicity. Yeah, that was amazing.

[Shane Smith]

Well, if you remember what happened, we had shot the whole season, and we were very proud. You know, we'd done a lot of stuff, done a lot of good work. And then the last thing was I figured out, because I had been there a bunch, that they love basketball, and if we got. They love the Chicago Bulls. And we figured out if we could get the Chicago Bulls there, that they would. And so the Chicago Bulls wouldn't go. We called Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, they said, fuck you. But we called Dennis Rodman and he said, I'm in. I'm signing, you know, cards at the.

[Bill Maher]

That's how that Rodman North Korea connection came about.

[Shane Smith]

We sent.

[Bill Maher]

It was Vice, it was you.

[Shane Smith]

And with the Harlem Globetrotters, who, by the way, are amazing. The Harlem Globetrotters are like the best ambassadors America could want. Right. So we went over, played the national team. It was a tie. And Kim Jong Un came and invited. And invited our crew.

[Bill Maher]

I remember.

[Shane Smith]

I remember. So I had. Speaking of the stomach parasite, I had a hernia operation I had to delay because of the stomach parasite. It's right at that time. So you have a good memory. I was in the bath reading the fucking. No, I was reading my phone, I guess.

[Bill Maher]

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[Shane Smith]

I was reading the papers and I was reading the phone and every fucking news site in the world shat on us from on high. They're stunt journalists. Fuck vice. And by the way, the BBC really shat on us and they had just got caught for trying to sneak in with a school group. And you're like you're going to endanger school kids, but I'm the fucking asshole.

[Bill Maher]

Anywho, that's so infuriating.

[Shane Smith]

Infuriating.

[Bill Maher]

All these elitist stupid journalists who are like lazy about the most basic things about journalism that they could look up or find out right here in America shitting on you over in North Korea.

[Shane Smith]

So because they couldn't get in. And so we got this because everyone gets the same documentary of North Korea because they they just give you the same one and everyone has the same one. Anyway, so we got this thing and I just remember we're just launching the show and I remember being devastated because everyone was shitting on us. And I pled called me up. He said one thing.

[Bill Maher]

He said the president of HBO Platler shout out.

[Shane Smith]

You're a fucking genius. I love you.

[Bill Maher]

My favorite.

[Shane Smith]

The last of the great him and Tom Frest and the last two great.

[Bill Maher]

Truly media media moguls was always had my back and my back our back HBO. And by the way that job of having the back of people like us is not an easy one.

[Shane Smith]

Not an easy one.

[Bill Maher]

Because in cancel culture which we live through and still are living through they come at you very hard.

[Shane Smith]

Hard.

[Bill Maher]

Like we will pick at your office. We will do.

[Shane Smith]

We put five journalists on you.

[Bill Maher]

We will do everything. So for a guy to stick up for us meant something.

[Shane Smith]

And he one of the last I always think last of the great V8 interceptors. You were a fucking mensch. Anyway, Plur called me when all that shit Was going down. And he said, you know what they said about Rome? He said, they called it. They had a one word review. Carthage. And he said, look, you have a great show. Don't worry about it. And we launched to a five. We launched to a crazy number. And I realized, you know, all of that publicity, no one gave a shit about us. No one knew about. Except for you. And all of a sudden, we were this popular show because everyone had shot on us from on high. And the first episode, everyone was like, this is fucking awesome.

[Bill Maher]

But also, it was such a great companion show for my show because it was also like, I know this sounds immodest, but, like, the only place where people could see real shit. So it was like my show, into your show. I mean. I mean, Vice did not look like anything. I mean, 60 Minutes is the closest thing. And 60 Minutes has done much great work over the years.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, much. 100%.

[Bill Maher]

And they have gone to places that are dangerous, but not the way Vice did. Not as far under the fingernails.

[Shane Smith]

Huge fan of 60 Minutes. It used to be the greatest news show ever made.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. The only.

[Shane Smith]

The only. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

The only.

[Shane Smith]

And then.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, and it's still great. Yeah. I still never. I have not missed an episode of 60 Minutes in the history of that run.

[Shane Smith]

Another shout out. Jeff Fager, who ran 60 Minutes for a long time, did a phenomenal job. But, yeah, Plepler with us, he was always had our back.

[Bill Maher]

And Don Hewitt, who invented it.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, Don Hewitt. Amazing.

[Bill Maher]

Who said our job is to make interesting what's important.

[Shane Smith]

Exactly. There you go. Bang. That should be today. Bango.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's what we're trying to do. I mean, the reason why that quote is in my mind is because I live by it, or try to. And I've always remembered it.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Our job, if you watch. I mean, I used to watch the nightly news and then I watched it almost just to make fun of it. And now I can't even watch it. Can't watch it because it's just. It should be recalled, renamed. Some video we found that was cool that we thought we'd show you. I mean, that's. I mean, you get about three minutes of real news before you're into, like a plane had a problem. Unless they all died. Shut the fuck up. I don't give a shit. It's not a story. And they show a shaky plane or something and passengers freaking out when all the shit that they could be covering goes uncovered, which is the kind of shit you covered. And then by the time you get to the last segment. It's just the one legged skier.

[Shane Smith]

Well, I think it's worse than that. I think it's fucking op ed. It's so like you get like whatever, 15, you know, minutes maybe of some sort of video, like you're saying, which is not the video they should be showing. And then let's all talk about the video and what we think about the video. Everybody's just talking about it, op ed, op ed. And you're like, I don't give a shit what you have to say.

[Bill Maher]

I mean. And that's where the better news is given. That's not even TikTok. Imagine the mind of someone who gets their news from TikTok.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, I mean, there's a problem that's.

[Bill Maher]

A. I mean, look, we have so many problems like that. Problems of character.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Problems of discipline, problems of minds that are just mush. Including one of the candidates for president that we're gonna be voting for is just. I mean, not that he always hasn't been an insane person. Maybe not always, because like that movie that just came out about him, the Apprentice is awesome. If you haven't seen it, I haven't seen it. It is so good. The reason why it may not do well, and I think, I hope it does well in the way Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 911 did really well before the 2004 election, is that it's people. If they hate Trump, it's like, okay, I'm not gonna see it, cuz I wouldn't wanna patronize him. It's an honest character study. Just look at it as that. He did change. He was his father's son. The father was awful and partly made the son who he is. So I know people who saw it and said, I don't like it because it's sympathetic to Trump in the beginning. Well, maybe he is sympathetic. In the beginning. He was collecting like rents from his father. He opens the door and they throw hot water on him. Because that's what happens when you, when you were a slumlord, which his father was sometimes, and people didn't want to pay the rent. And then, you know, it's just, if you just watch it as a study of a human, it's quite interesting. And then of course, it's very brutal to Trump in the second half. But he did change. He did become this monster.

[Shane Smith]

But don't you think, I'm asking the one guy who knows and is probably going to tear me to shit for saying this, don't you think that all politicians are sort of narcissistic, charming megalomaniacs.

[Bill Maher]

Not all, no. I mean, there's a tribute in my book to a guy named Henry Waxman who you probably never heard of. And that's why, that's why he's so great. Okay, It's a tribute. We did it as an editorial. We gave him the Baldy Award. He's a bald, bespeckled congressman who single.

[Shane Smith]

Handedly, I mean, the big boys wrote.

[Bill Maher]

Probably all the progressive legislation since, you know, like 1980. He's not in Congress anymore, but he was until recently one of the. There's a Republican who said if you don't like progressive legislation, it's something like it's because you were looking away while Henry Waxman was. I mean, everything from, you know, seat belts, that kind of stuff, anything that aids, you know, recognizing aid, he just did it all.

[Shane Smith]

He was a political mechanic.

[Bill Maher]

He was just a guy who wanted to do the job.

[Shane Smith]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

That guy, FBI. You don't find that often in the Republican Party. You don't often find it in the Democrats, but much more often Democrats are wonks. Hillary's a wonk, Obama's a wonk. They really care about the work and they know in detail that what you need to know about the work. Republicans have this idea, no big picture. Bush, we got attacked.

[Shane Smith]

War.

[Bill Maher]

Where, sir? I don't know. I'm not a detailed man. You figured that out.

[Shane Smith]

Republicans have wonks too, but. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

No, they're not.

[Shane Smith]

Come on.

[Bill Maher]

Name one Republican wonk.

[Shane Smith]

All of neocons.

[Bill Maher]

Neocons?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. Oh, like Wolfowitz, Haney. Yeah, Those were policy wonks.

[Bill Maher]

They're not in the office. I'm talking about Republican versus Democratic politicians. Right. You can't name any Republican wonks who really care about the. I mean, that's not true. I'm sure that they do. Some of them do their work and I'm glad they do their home because again, I don't trust the left either. But generally the people who just want to make policy and make lives better and make government work better, yes, they spend too much money and they have a lot of flaws. But they generally tend to be people like Obama and Hillary Clinton. They're wonky people who like the idea of government. They know all the things. There's another, I think a great one we did about celebrities who want to be in office.

[Shane Smith]

And so Reagan had a cabinet of wonks. I mean, he put a cabinet of wonks.

[Bill Maher]

It's a long time ago.

[Shane Smith]

He was the Queen of England and Schulz was the ultimate wonk. Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, you're right. But that's a different era and a different Republican. Agreed. That Republican's gone.

[Shane Smith]

Agreed. I'm just saying.

[Bill Maher]

No, no, wonky. Yeah, but that Republican doesn't exist much anymore. I mean, they exist on the outskirts. I mean, they exist writing articles for, you know. What's the Republican magazine that.

[Shane Smith]

Well, don't put me.

[Bill Maher]

No, you don't know that. I'm stoned, so I can't think of it. But, you know, they have one. It gets like a magazine. Yeah, there's a hardcore right wing. It's very influential. I mean.

[Shane Smith]

Oh, Drudge Report.

[Bill Maher]

No, no. I don't know. We'll chyron it later, but it's very influential. It was very influential in the Iraq war. They were all for the surge, that kind of thing. I mean, they're not completely crazy, but I think they were against Trump at the beginning, Right?

[Shane Smith]

Well, the Republicans were against Trump in the beginning.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Shane Smith]

And then he took over the gop. That's what happens with. You know who I liked? You know who was wonkish and a political mechanic and who got fucked by his own party? John Boehner. He was trying to make shit work. He got fucked for even meeting with Obama.

[Bill Maher]

I wouldn't call him a mechanic.

[Shane Smith]

He was a political mechanic. He worked on consensus. He tried to make shit happen.

[Bill Maher]

He was a drunk. Yeah, he was a.

[Shane Smith]

But a charming drunk, maybe.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, some drunks are. I don't know. I never met him. I know he used to burst into tears if he saw an American flag.

[Shane Smith]

He was emotional in a emotional cat in a sandwich. Emotional cat.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Shane Smith]

But listen, he got kicked up by his own party for just meeting with him.

[Bill Maher]

I'll take him. And I weep about how much I love America much more than I will the kids who think America is the worst place in the world.

[Shane Smith]

I agree.

[Bill Maher]

And I mean, really, I mean, the idea that I've heard the term death to America now chanted on American soil, I mean, I've heard it as you have and you've been to these places, chanted in Tehran.

[Shane Smith]

A lot of those people have never left America is the issue.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's the point. They need to talk to you.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, well, listen, I come back here, I'll tell you. I'll tell you the truth. Every time I come back here, I'm like, ah, it's parents. I love it. I love it.

[Bill Maher]

Right, but you are exactly the person who needs to talk to the kids who think they live at the Worst time in the worst.

[Shane Smith]

You're wrong.

[Bill Maher]

Just, you're wrong. From someone who's been there, you know, the different look, every generation looks back at the former generations and go, oh, these kids today, I mean, they did it to us.

[Shane Smith]

Sure.

[Bill Maher]

But the difference is that I don't remember my views on things that I had no idea about because I was too young, taken as seriously as these kids are.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, yeah. Well, because Gen Z. So the baby boomers were the largest media economic cohort, socioeconomic cohort ever and worse hotel today when they're dying off. So now it's going to be Gen Z. So Gen Z are going to run it A. And just like the baby boomers did. The problem now is you have kids coming out of college and being like, I read a book. And so therefore, this is what. And you're like, look, go to these places. Go see what it's like to never have a kick at the can, ever. And if you have the wrong name or the wrong accent, you and your kids and your kids. Kids will never have a kick at the can, ever. And so look, I'm an immigrant. I came here with nothing. And you're like, it's still the American dream. It's still a place where you can go from rags to riches, where you can manifest destiny, where you can make it all happen and you can say what you want about a lot of other places, but you can't do that, I would say, in 94% of the globe.

[Bill Maher]

What's so ironic is that the thing they really hate because they're so uneducated, they only really know black and white. And I mean literally black and white. Everything is seen through this lens of identity politics. So white people, bad. Everything they did was bad. So ironic, because everything that makes their lives possible was, I'm sorry, probably invented through Athens, Rome, Jerusalem, Philadelphia, London, you know, I mean, rule of law, free and fair elections, respect for minorities, these are all the things that make life good. The fact that we have protected markets that you can actually do business without it being dominated by corruption. I mean, these are the things that make life good for everybody. Human rights, the idea of you get a trial by jury, they take all these things for granted. People made these ideas up and fought and died for them. I'm sorry, some of them are white. I wish it all happened in Wakanda.

[Shane Smith]

Look, it's hard to argue with. I will say that there was a time when England especially went out, took all the resources from everywhere, brought them back to England, manufactured them, and then Sold them back to the rest of the world. And being an ex colonial, you're like, yeah, I grew up loving British comedy and British fucking TV and British books and British. But they were doing some bad fucking things, the British.

[Bill Maher]

To Canada.

[Shane Smith]

To everybody.

[Bill Maher]

To everybody.

[Shane Smith]

The Empire.

[Bill Maher]

But not as bad to you as they did to people.

[Shane Smith]

No, not as bad to us as Africa.

[Bill Maher]

What did they do bad to you? They did bad to the natives. Well, they did bad to the natives.

[Shane Smith]

If you want to look at. If you want to look at World War I and World War II, Canadians were known as cannon fodder. In fact, D Day, they just sent the Canadians on the first waves to get killed.

[Bill Maher]

Problem? No.

[Shane Smith]

So we were. We were. We were really.

[Bill Maher]

Canadians were cannon fodder.

[Shane Smith]

Famously. Famously. They'd send in the Canadians and the Australians.

[Bill Maher]

I bet you they took it very. Kiwis, very politely.

[Shane Smith]

Thank you. No, we were cannon fodder for the Brits, as were all the colonies. I shouldn't just say us. I mean, it was.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Shane Smith]

The colonies were first.

[Bill Maher]

Well, there's a great scene in Braveheart where Braveheart, of course, takes place in Scotland in 1315, when the Scots were looking to be free from the Brits. And William Wallace, played by Mel Gibson, brilliantly in a brilliant movie, whatever you think of his politics. And the bad guy is King. Who was the king in England at the time? King John.

[Shane Smith]

William Wallace, was it? No, he's William Wallace.

[Bill Maher]

He's William Wallace. No, it was King John or King Edward, I think. Edward.

[Shane Smith]

Edward. Edward.

[Bill Maher]

Played by the Patrick McGoohan.

[Shane Smith]

It's so good.

[Bill Maher]

Who was.

[Shane Smith]

He threw the dude out the window. Amazing scene.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. And it's one of those scenes that you see in all the movies where there's medieval battles and one side is arrayed on a battlefield against the other, and they're about to do it. They're about to throw down. Throw down with all of them and run at each other. I mean, the fact that men do this just says a lot about how bad men are. Okay, but they're going to do it. And the guy says to King Edward, Patrick McGuin, should we send in or should we do the Archers now, sir? And he said, no, send in the Irish. Arrows cost the Irish, sir. He says, yeah, arrows cost a dollar apiece.

[Shane Smith]

Arrows cost a dollar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the Irish run out, and the other guy, Irish guy, convinced them to come over and he goes, you can never trust the Irish. And then they go in. Yeah, the Bruce. The Bruce sold out. In Scottish.

[Bill Maher]

I'm always making this point about the past. It's like we just, we grow up historically as a species in a way that's completely analogous to the way we grow up as individuals. You don't expect you of 10 years old to have any sense of right or wrong or morality or what's wrong. And when we were, you know, in 1315 or whatever, or, you know, 2000 B.C. whatever humans were just. Nobody even thought that slavery was wrong in biblical times. We know because we have the Bible. Sure. And there's no. No one ever says let's just not do it.

[Shane Smith]

Like every. Every country now country, but every historical. Every country all had black, white. I was reading some stat that there's more slaves today than there's ever been. Like numerologically, that's bullshit because there's a lot of slaves out there.

[Bill Maher]

There's not a lot of slaves. I looked into this also.

[Shane Smith]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

There's not a lot of slaves. No, there's people, you know, where the people who are. Resemble it most closely are rich Gulf states like Bahrain, the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, that have these workers. Right. Usually from Asia, Bangladesh, the Philippines. They treat them about as bad as you can treat a worker. And sometimes it's so close to slavery. Indentured servitude.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But of course, because they're people of color, we cannot. Criticism is not.

[Shane Smith]

We actually did that. We did. We did. We snuck into where the camps where they live as they're making the high rises and all of those. We actually did that. And you're right. I mean, it's as close as you get. I mean, I mean, what I'm talking about, apparently there's. I shouldn't speak on it because I don't know the stats, so I don't really know. But.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, but you did story on it.

[Shane Smith]

Well, we did story. No, I'm saying on that. On wage servitude, where they take your passport and they don't give you the money and you stay there for 22 years and you never pay off your debt. I mean, but I'm talking about.

[Bill Maher]

It's very close. I'm just saying if they did that in Belgium, I think it would be a bigger story.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, 100%.

[Bill Maher]

And that is one of the real big problems of the left. Like only white people can do bad things.

[Shane Smith]

Look, that's just terrible thing today more than ever. Right? That's the one. I don't know where that. Is that a university thing? Because it seems like university is percolating into mainstream.

[Bill Maher]

You know, this Chapel Roan open letter I did last week talking about Israel, thinking I could reason with someone who has shown an ability to reason. Yeah, you know, it's so interesting. It did amazing business. When I say business, I mean retweets and you know, over 10 million, which is a lot for us. But like, and very little blowback. Like, there's no way to argue. It's so hard to argue with the pictures of the women in burkas. It's like once you show that picture, which is apropos to this conflict, if you think it isn't, again, you don't know much about history or the present. It's just so hard. So this is kind of infuriating to me. You may have had it happen to you too. It's like when they can't argue with me, they just ignore it. It's like I can't win this argument. So I'm just not going to engage. And in three days we'll all be talking about something else.

[Shane Smith]

I look, I'm going to say two things, probably light up the Twitter sphere. But the one thing was, and I remember saying this a lot during our reporting after 9 11, you were like, look, 9 11, like you were saying, there was a period of non terrorism. 911 changed the world. It galvanized the world into two camps. It did exactly what Osama bin Laden wanted. It was a very successful piece of terrorism. If you look at it, just organic. Now if you look at what was happening in the Middle east, which I was there reporting on, the Abraham Accords were ratified where the GCC were going to recognize Israel. The biggest thing since 1947.

[Bill Maher]

I got to stop here. The Abraham Accords were something that happened in the Trump administration under Jared, under Jared Kushner to get and they successfully.

[Shane Smith]

Got Bahrain, Oman, Oman, Saudi Arabia to.

[Bill Maher]

Have a treaty with Israel and Israel and recognize Israel and Israel already has treaty and recognizes and Israel already has that with Jordan and with Egypt.

[Shane Smith]

So groundbreaking. Huge.

[Bill Maher]

You know, I mean, mostly what you hear about Israel and it's certainly true is that it's surrounded by enemies because they are surrounded by Hezbollah in the north and Gaza. But here are, okay, if you could neutralize the Gaza situation somehow, now you've got Egypt longstanding treaty there, Jordan to their other side treaty and now these other countries. And they were about to get, they were about to get Saudi Arabia.

[Shane Smith]

So if you look, this is my long winded thing from 911 is the Abraham Accords again under Trump and Jared biggest thing since 47, at least bigger Than since Camp David and Jimmy Carter, right? Massive, massive, massive, massive thing. The problem with that is the enemy of Miami becomes my friend. So Iran sees this and says, hold on a second, right, we have Israel and the gcc, our two biggest enemies.

[Bill Maher]

Gcc, Even I don't know what that is.

[Shane Smith]

Oh, Jesus. Now you're going to call me out and I've had a few drinks. The Gulf Cooperation Council or Committee, it's basically the seven or eight Gulf states, right? The ones you just mentioned, the ones.

[Bill Maher]

That are keeping the Pakistanis in indentured servitude.

[Shane Smith]

So they were going to recognize Israel and do all this stuff. Do this stuff. So Iran sees this and goes, fuck. If that happens, we're screwed because we've got the GCC and Israel together. So they pay for the three Hs, they pay for the Houthis, they pay for Hamas, they pay for Hezbollah. And all of a sudden Hamas comes out, like out of nowhere, comes and starts doing these heinous fucking terrible 911 style attacks. And by the way, it fucking worked. The Middle east now has gone 20 years backwards. The GCC, the Abraham Accords have gone out. Everybody's just, you know what? Fucking Israel's now on its fucking island again. And Iran just said, go do it because they've been paying their salaries for the past 20 years. And you're like, they fucking won because they destabilize.

[Bill Maher]

Well, they didn't win because the war isn't over.

[Shane Smith]

No, but hold on, that's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying, I'm saying they destabilize the region again. Again. And at some point we have to say, look, terrorism can't fucking win every fucking game. They're not allowed to win every game.

[Bill Maher]

Now I really wish you had some sort of seminar that the kids would listen to, but they probably wouldn't because you're over 50. Are you over 50?

[Shane Smith]

I'm an old man. Yes. Look at me.

[Bill Maher]

Okay. You look great.

[Shane Smith]

I'm over 50.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I don't know how old you are. You're generically middle aged, which is as good as you can be. As good as you can be.

[Shane Smith]

Love you.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, I'm older than you. I know that.

[Shane Smith]

You look fucking good.

[Bill Maher]

Well, thanks.

[Shane Smith]

We're just a fucking mutually beneficial society.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Shane Smith]

Hey.

[Bill Maher]

What kind of show? You look good.

[Shane Smith]

Dude.

[Bill Maher]

What kind of show? You got a full head of hair. I do? Yeah.

[Shane Smith]

I don't know what I'm allowed to say, but you're dating supermodels, You Got a full head of hair. Let's fucking go, man.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I'm not dating supermodels, but I have and it's let's go.

[Shane Smith]

Well, the kids say lfg. That's what we're doing.

[Bill Maher]

Let's fucking go.

[Shane Smith]

There we go, brother.

[Bill Maher]

But I mean, we do need someone to crack through.

[Shane Smith]

Well, someone needs to say sane shit, which you do.

[Bill Maher]

I know, but. But then we need to get. I mean, the point about Chapel Roan was like. But can I get her to watch it? Can I get her or not? Her, yes, her would be great. But also those people to pay attention to what I'm saying. My point about like nobody really on the Internet was to refute it because it's irrefutable. What I'm saying you can't refute. Israel was in that land forever. It is their ancestral homeland. There have always been Jews there. It does not the same thing as colonizing whatever thing where I'm going against the bullshit that they've learned on TikTok, that they're colonizers, that it's an apartheid state, all this. That they're committing genocide. There have been genocides committed in the world. This is not one of them. And they could if they wanted to. The reason why so many people have died is because Hamas uses their civilians as shields.

[Shane Smith]

True.

[Bill Maher]

They're the responsible for. There is a simple solution to this. Stop attacking Israel. Accept them as a state in the region. It is their ancestral homeland. There was a deal by the UN I said this to Chapel Rohn. We like them. Right? You know, I'm trying to get through to these kids in any way I can, but if they. If they just turn off and go, why should I listen to somebody that age who knows so much more than I do? Boring.

[Shane Smith]

Well, I'm going to say three things.

[Bill Maher]

How do you get that?

[Shane Smith]

I'm going to say three things. You asked me the worst place in the world that I would live in.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, let's get to that.

[Shane Smith]

I would say Van Knives. I would say Van Knives. I would say North Korea. The reason why I say North Korea, it's a fascinating place to go for a week because you see Stalinist Russia in 1953 or Maoist China in 1964.

[Bill Maher]

By the way, that's the one. If all the ones you're going to say, I would most agree. Number one, it scares me.

[Shane Smith]

But if you lived there.

[Bill Maher]

Oh my God.

[Shane Smith]

If you lived there.

[Bill Maher]

Omg.

[Shane Smith]

It is like we would hear stories of if you go to a concentration.

[Bill Maher]

Camp, I Can't eat.

[Shane Smith]

They eat kernels of corn out of cow shit.

[Bill Maher]

Beyond.

[Shane Smith]

And so I'll say one other anecdote. I was driving in the country, which you're never allowed to do and they don't have like villages in the country. They have like a one Stalinist apartment, like 50 foot, 50 story high building in the middle of nowhere. But they've, they've ripped out all of the windows.

[Bill Maher]

And how does the grumba driver get there?

[Shane Smith]

So, so check this out. So you have just forest and then this Stalinist, you know, 50 story high thing that they built in like 1953. And then, so then. But they've pulled all the windows out because they had to sell them to China. They don't have any money. They pulled the rebar out so it looks like a concrete eating woodpecker. So it's just got holes. But they're on the 50th floor and you look up and there's cooking fires. So you're like, hold on a second. These guys are carrying up. There's no water, so they're carrying water from the stream and wood to have cooking fires on floor 49. And you're like, okay, you want to know where I don't want to live there right now. That said, this is. I'm going to invoke your ire.

[Bill Maher]

What I'm hearing, Shane, is that you're a racist and you hate Asians. That's what I'm hearing.

[Shane Smith]

The opposite. Sorry, my producer's laughing because he knows the truth about that. But what I will say is I spent a lot of time in Israel and I love it. Like Tel Aviv, Tel Aviv, Jerusalem. I mean, there's one city block which is like Christianity, Judaism and Islam on the same block. And you're like, okay, same God, same fucking thing. Everybody shut up. And I love it. I love Israel. I've also spent a lot of time like my secret was Lebanon. I used to love going to Beirut. And everyone goes, stay safe, dude. Cut to me on the fucking beach eating branzino, drinking wine, going to the fucking open air, the best club in the world, babes. Everyone like, yeah, it's super dangerous, don't ever come here.

[Bill Maher]

But what year is this?

[Shane Smith]

See, exactly, exactly. So before all of everybody laughed and before. But I've spent a lot of time in the region and I'm going to say this and I'm going to go back to North Korea when we did the Rodman thing. What you realize is people are fucking people and the kids love the basketball and the young kids love the fucking Harlem Globetrotters. And the regime is fucked up. The regime is fucking terrible. And I'll say that fucking my hotel should have been hotel murder because it just reeked of fucking murder on fucking blood. And you're like, I don't want to ever come back here. Sorry. If I'm applying for a visa.

[Bill Maher]

This was an Omni.

[Shane Smith]

This was an Omni, by the way, their version of an Omni. So North Korea never wanted. Because it's the antithesis of freedom. That said, the people of North Korea were just fucking there for a fucking basketball game. And they was bringing tear to their eyes because they like fucking basketball. And the Americans there, you go to fucking Israel, they're fucking nice people. They're beautiful people. You go to Palestine, they're beautiful, nice people. You go to the region, you go to Saudi, you go to everyone. There's so much propaganda. The Saudis are so fucked. It's not true. The fucking. These guys are so fucked. It's not true. The people are fine.

[Bill Maher]

I had the same experience making religilists.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

We shot the last scene in a, you know, area that. Where we wanted to have dinner was Palestinian Run. And. But the bodyguards were super nervous. They spent an hour checking out the restaurant before they let us in.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And then when we got in, it's like, they were happy to have our money.

[Shane Smith]

Beautiful.

[Bill Maher]

And we were happy to have their food. We were starving. And you realize just what you said, it's all about the politicians. And it'd be so easy to solve all of these problems. Israel and the Palestinians could totally get along.

[Shane Smith]

Like, same people, same food, same names, same language. And you sit there and you go, if we could just fucking be people. And that's why when people start talking about shit as if they understand it, they've never been there. They're talking about regime, they're talking about policies. They're not talking about the people. They don't know what the fuck they're talking about. That's what pisses me off.

[Bill Maher]

Right. And you're right. Same everything. Semitic people. I have an organization called One Nose because they have the same nose. And I would like to solicit donations today to One Nose.

[Shane Smith]

It's dedicated.

[Bill Maher]

It's dedicated.

[Shane Smith]

What was your old fucking show called? Politically Incorrect? Holy man, You've been doing it for 30 years.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. And I haven't changed.

[Shane Smith]

You're a beautiful baby boy. Your mom and I love you very much.

[Bill Maher]

Well, yeah. Now I hope that the kids can get some wisdom Somehow shoehorned in.

[Shane Smith]

Everybody needs to fucking shoehorned in there.

[Bill Maher]

Because you know, again, their go to is you're old or you know, get off my lawn. That's not an argument. That's what you say because you don't have an argument because you're too lazy to do the research and understand what the fuck we're talking about.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And if you don't understand it, then. And really you don't get a vote anyway. But at least I'm not trying to mock you. I'm just trying to educate you and maybe you wouldn't wind up on this side. That's what I kept saying to Chapel. Rowan, is this really the people you want to throw down with? The people that make their women wear burqas? You're a fucking drag queen singer. What you do would get you thrown off a roof in Gaza. You're on the wrong team here. You're on team. We think women are second class citizens and we're not afraid to say so. I mean, Gaza, the place where your heroes Hamas live, has no laws against or effectively executed laws against sexual harassment or marital rape or, you know, underage marriage. Any of the things that are like, you know, just de rigueur we think are the worst things in the world here in America.

[Shane Smith]

Like I would, like, I'd say you have a lot of people who have never been like. One of the things that we found is if you just go somewhere and quite frankly, we look back at this glorious time of news, like the Walter Cronkite era, and it was literally a stringer who never left the hotel drinking whiskey would get something and he would send it back. They would write it on a teleprompter. He'd read it and everybody believed it because it wasn't disproved.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Shane Smith]

And so one of the things we did, speaking of heavy metal in Baghdad, we started just going places. And for my first trip to Afghanistan, I went. We won an Emmy for that. And because we found all these stories of misuse of funds and billions of dollars going missing, forts being taken over the Taliban, like, Shane, where did you get your fucking stories from? And I'm like, cigar Sigur is the Special Investigator General of Afghanistan. It's the American government. We just went and said, where's the fucking shit happening? But we went there. And what you find is nearly 90% of the time completely the opposite of what everybody takes as a given, because it's just fucking. This is the story and this is what we're saying in what Way. I mean, everything.

[Bill Maher]

Like what? Well, like what's opposite?

[Shane Smith]

Well, everything. So I remember, for example, we went to Fallujah, and that's Iraq. Correct.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I thought you said Afghanistan.

[Shane Smith]

Oh, no, in Afghanistan. Oh, okay. So Afghanistan, for example, all the stories would be coming back. Oh, well, just everything. We're winning the war. There's no heroin. We've convinced everybody this. Whatever. And you're like. You're like, okay, I went there and, like, heroin is like, this. 90% of the world's heroin is coming from here. And everyone you would talk to are like, oh, the Americans leave and the Taliban have more land than before they came in. Everyone.

[Bill Maher]

It's. It was so such a. It's as much of a redo of Vietnam.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Worse as Lady Gaga was of Madonna when she first came out. It was like the same thing, and somehow we forgot.

[Shane Smith]

More expensive, longer.

[Bill Maher]

Well, and. But the same shtick.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, exactly. So. But if you're there, everyone's like, well, we're close to winning and we've taken this territory. And if you're there, you're like, yeah, no, the Taliban have won. And the minute the Americans leave, they're gonna run everything. They're gonna have all of our money, all of our stuff. They're gonna have all this and our heroin money and our legitimate money. They're gonna take all our bullion, all.

[Bill Maher]

Our tanks, all our planes, and they're gonna make it even worse on the women.

[Shane Smith]

Well. Or on everybody.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, they went so far to. I think some of this is just trolling us. I mean, like, this, again, was. I was saying to Chappell, like, your heroes in Hamas are only slightly less conservative than the Taliban.

[Shane Smith]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

Who this last few weeks went to places where, again, I think this is just trolling because already you're keeping women, like, head to toe covered, but now they can't be heard in public.

[Shane Smith]

Right.

[Bill Maher]

I didn't know that. No singing, right? No. Their voice can. I mean, that's trolling, right? I mean, you've made your point, and now you're just saying, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you, kids.

[Shane Smith]

I'm gonna say, what do we have.

[Bill Maher]

To do to keep you protesting us?

[Shane Smith]

Hamas, if you spe. Anytime in the region. Hamas, Hezbollah, Houthis. We were actually, I believe, shout out to Ben Anderson, one of the first to ever report on the Houthis.

[Bill Maher]

The Houthis, of course, are the ones in Yemen.

[Shane Smith]

Yemen.

[Bill Maher]

Yemen, which is, you know, the southern part of the Arabian Peninsula, borders south there. And, like, they have nothing to do with Palestine.

[Shane Smith]

Correct.

[Bill Maher]

And yet they're lobbing missiles at Israel. Cor.

[Shane Smith]

Correct.

[Bill Maher]

Nothing to do.

[Shane Smith]

Also, the Houthi is the name and it was one tribe, small little tribe from the north, Sada. And you were there in Yemen? Oh, many times. Yeah. Yeah, I got arrested and. Yeah. Shout out to Haitham. Haitham got me out of the secret police prison.

[Bill Maher]

When you fly into Yemen, it's a. Direct from Burbank.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. A Van Nuys. I go from Van Nuys to fucking Yemen. Very difficult to get into Yemen.

[Bill Maher]

How do you get into Yemen?

[Shane Smith]

Surprise, surprise.

[Bill Maher]

Don't say practice.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, practice. No, I took a freighter.

[Bill Maher]

A freighter?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Smith]

I took a freighter.

[Bill Maher]

I feel so guilty, Shane. I have that same Emmy and I've never been east of La Brea. I feel so guilty. But you know what?

[Shane Smith]

You know what, dude? You don't have.

[Bill Maher]

I'll stay here with the women.

[Shane Smith]

You don't have a stomach eating parasite women.

[Bill Maher]

You go get the virus and the stomach eating.

[Shane Smith]

Not to be. Not to be an. But you are doing an essential thing of bringing what's important to people.

[Bill Maher]

So true.

[Shane Smith]

And hold on, let me. Can I say one thing, please? The left does this thing about doing politics through humor. They're not funny and their politics are shit. You're funny and your politics are spot on. So well done. And that's important. And somebody has to do that.

[Bill Maher]

I so appreciate that. And especially since I can do that and still have dinner at Madeira.

[Shane Smith]

There you go. And since I can't do that, I have to go to Liberia and go, this shit's fucked up. Bill Maher.

[Bill Maher]

Well, that's the. You know what? God that I don't believe in. Really did me a solid when he made me funny because that makes up for so many things and it allows you to just. Yeah.

[Shane Smith]

You have to shed light on the stuff that's important and you have to do it in an entertaining way. What I found.

[Bill Maher]

But how do you get into Yemen? You said a freighter from.

[Shane Smith]

I had to go on a freighter.

[Bill Maher]

What is a freighter?

[Shane Smith]

Like a ship? Like a tramp steamer.

[Bill Maher]

A tramp steamer. Like your Humphrey Bogart in 1954.

[Shane Smith]

Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

I love it.

[Shane Smith]

And by the way, I love it.

[Bill Maher]

But where did that.

[Shane Smith]

I love it.

[Bill Maher]

Really?

[Shane Smith]

I love it. Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. I used to love it. I remember. I'll tell you this one time. I'm allowed to tell a story where I was very fucking pleased with myself.

[Bill Maher]

Please.

[Shane Smith]

Jake. My DP used to always say, shane fucking definitely likes to fucking Dress up. One of the things was. Which is self deprecating. But if you walk around in khakis and have dudes doing this, you learn the hard way you're a target. What's this talking into your wrist Security.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I get it.

[Shane Smith]

So what I found early is if you put a chicken bone in your beard and wear rags, nobody messes with.

[Bill Maher]

Chicken bone in your.

[Shane Smith]

Like just look like a bum. Just.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I see.

[Shane Smith]

So. So just don't have dudes in khaki stalking wrist, right?

[Bill Maher]

Oh absolutely.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

It's a self fulfilling property.

[Shane Smith]

There you go.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Shane Smith]

You're a smart man.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Shane Smith]

So anyway, I was reporting in Kashmir and there's a very specific Kashmiri chapel which is like the hat with the thing and the long shavar kameez. And so I just come from Kashmir and we were going to northwest frontier province to hang out with the Taliban in Swat, which is like fucking dangerous, right? And so I was with my partner Soroush Alvi, who's from Pakistan. We were going into northwest frontier province and I'm basically a pink Irishman wearing fucking peshwari. No, Kashmiri chapel. And so we were going there and my producer says, fuck this. Like let's get the fuck out. Like this is fucking. Just too fucking crazy. And I remember myself and Soroush, we went into this guest house. There's no hotels or anything. So we're in this guest house and the lady goes to Soroush who's Pakistani, goes, does your religious leader require any special diet? Right, because there's no way that a pink man in wearing Kashmiri chapel is anything but a dagestani badass. So he's fucking there for only one reason. So we're not going to with him. And so Soroush responds in Urdu, no, he would just want to be left alone, thank you very much. And I was like, I'm fitting in. In. I'm fitting in in Swat valley in Peshawar. So that. That I've got to say was the fun. But I remember driving in with Soroush in this minivan into Swat and I remember just going, this is fun. Like this is super fun. We're in here. There's all kinds of crazy shit going on. We're reporting on it. We're in the middle of global politics and we're reporting what nobody else is.

[Bill Maher]

I always say, don't pity the martyr. He likes his job.

[Shane Smith]

Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

And I can compete, I think, with that story about you going, go baby. Going into cashmere.

[Shane Smith]

Go baby.

[Bill Maher]

I have a sweater that you Will not believe.

[Shane Smith]

It's so scratchy. It scratches my nipples.

[Bill Maher]

It is so comfortable. It's like you're wearing nothing and you're still warm. Okay, how does that happen? How do they do that? I don't know, but thank you for allowing that to get to America. So, Dagestan, let's educate to the public. Where exactly is Dagestan?

[Shane Smith]

So Dagestan is on. Is like the Southern, like, little tip of. It's one of the stands of Russia. What's amazing about Dagestan?

[Bill Maher]

Chechnya.

[Shane Smith]

Well, there's Chechnya here, right? And there's Dagestan here on either side of the Caspian Sea, I believe.

[Bill Maher]

The Caviar Sea, whatever that is in between. Which is the Caucasus.

[Shane Smith]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

The Caucasus Mountains are between the black, Black Sea in the Caspian Sea.

[Shane Smith]

So the only reason why I know it's the sea is because we got caviar from the Dagestani Mafia, which was illegal.

[Bill Maher]

But it just amused me that you thought, hold on. The whole world would be laughing when you said, he's from, like, the Dagestani. Stop it.

[Shane Smith]

The one thing I wanted to say about Dagestan, which is interesting, is basically the Spetsnaz, which is The Russian Navy SEALs, like, their secret fucking army, you know, Green Berets. They essentially run Dagestan because it's such a. Like, there's so much terrorism going on. Basically, you have half the population, what they call going into the forest, which is learning to be, like, a terrorist. Super. But because, like, Wayne Gretzky used to play with a concrete puck. So when he would go in, you know, and play with a real puck. So these guys are like, players. These guys grow up under the Spetsnaz, under this Russian Secret Service. So they're such good fucking terrorists that they go and they become the generals or the colonels or the majors of the terrorist groups, the terrorist cells in all these countries. So when they see a pink man wearing Kashmiri chapel, they're like, fucking Dagestanis are here.

[Bill Maher]

I see.

[Shane Smith]

Right. So when you go on with your race business, right, the white dudes are terrible. If you're white and have a henna beard and are wearing some Kashmiri chapel, they're terrified of you in Pakistan.

[Bill Maher]

It gets back to my point that I made on your show that the Russians are white. Even the Dagestanis.

[Shane Smith]

Dagestanis are white. People are fucking scared of the Dagestanis, as I would. They're the best UFC fighters. They're the best wrestlers in the world. And They're Quite frankly, I don't want to be weird, but this is the best terrorists in the world. They are tough motherfuckers. Stealing the fucking caviar notwithstanding. That's another place I don't particularly want to live.

[Bill Maher]

Where?

[Shane Smith]

Dagestan.

[Bill Maher]

Dagestan. But okay, so North Korea is the number one place you want.

[Shane Smith]

Liberia. Number two.

[Bill Maher]

Liberia, the American colony. Liberia.

[Shane Smith]

Okay, I'm impressed. You know it's an American colony.

[Bill Maher]

Absolutely. America. Liberia. For folks who haven't been. It's on the west coast of Africa. It's near Ghana, Nigeria, that area western.

[Shane Smith]

West.

[Bill Maher]

West, yeah. From where? From whence these slave ships came.

[Shane Smith]

Correct. And when.

[Bill Maher]

Back and went back.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

But Liberia was an American colony in Africa.

[Shane Smith]

Liberia. Monrovia is named after Monroe.

[Bill Maher]

Yes.

[Shane Smith]

Constitution written here.

[Bill Maher]

It was taken over by a sergeant named James Taylor. Not James Taylor.

[Shane Smith]

James. Oh, now you. Me. Because I had.

[Bill Maher]

It's an American name. But he made himself a dictator there for it used to be. It used to be a very, I thought, desirable place to live.

[Shane Smith]

Oh, fuck me.

[Bill Maher]

No, Never. At no time in its history.

[Shane Smith]

No. So basically the slaves went back. The American slaves promptly enslaved the Africans as a. Under the plantation system, the American slaves went back, enslaved other Africans as slaves, the local Africans. So America bought Liberia and gave it to our freed slave. They enslaved the local Liberians.

[Bill Maher]

That can't be right. Shane says every gen zer.

[Shane Smith]

That can't be right. There were many civil wars and it would be if you had an African.

[Bill Maher]

Charles Taylor.

[Shane Smith]

Charles Taylor.

[Bill Maher]

Charles Taylor.

[Shane Smith]

Charles Taylor is the Very Bad man.

[Bill Maher]

Bad man.

[Shane Smith]

Very bad man.

[Bill Maher]

Bad man.

[Shane Smith]

Very bad. General Butt Naked became famous fighting against Charles Taylor.

[Bill Maher]

Yes. General Butt Naked. Who's he? Did you ever interview him? I did. General Butt Naked.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Now where was he a warlord?

[Shane Smith]

Liberia.

[Bill Maher]

Liberia. Okay.

[Shane Smith]

So he fought naked. His real name is Joshua Blah. He's now a preacher. He.

[Bill Maher]

Now a preacher.

[Shane Smith]

He killed. He killed thousands and ate them. Here's the thing. He was famous for going into battle naked, but also eating the hearts of pure people before he would go into battle.

[Bill Maher]

IDI Amin also ate the voters.

[Shane Smith]

Yes.

[Bill Maher]

Which usually is not a good thing.

[Shane Smith]

Not great for the electoral politicians. But no, seriously, General Butt Naked. I interviewed him. I actually had Stockholm syndrome because I was hanging out with General Butt Naked and there was all these other generals. And Liberia is a terrifying place because you'd be somewhere and all of a sudden you're surrounded by people and your security is like, I don't know what to do. We're fucked. And so it was Terrifying. We got one. One guy out of jail, General bin Laden. We got General Bin Laden out of jail because they all take names. Not the General Bin Laden, but they take names of scary generals. He got him out of jail because we got him out of jail. We bribed the jail to get him out. And then all of his people surrounded the building and were like, oh, we're fucked. And because Butt Naked was so feared, he would get us out of problems. Like, there were a lot of problems. And so to go back to Liberia, Liberia might be fine. I don't know. Monrovia is terrible. Terrible. The worst slum I've ever seen is a place called West Point, which is the biggest slum in West Africa, and it is in Liberia. And it is terrifying because I remember I bought, like, some kids. You buy, like, a can of coke or something, and they put, like, a tiny little bit into plastic bags, and you give it to the kids, like, here. And then the bigger kids come, and then the bigger. And then all of a sudden, there's a fucking, like, war over the, you know, this little thing of coke. And I felt terrible. But, like, anything like shoes, like shoelaces, like, it is survival. Like, it is whatever the you have, right? I'm gonna take it, right? And, like, it's like, you're like, that's terrifying. There is no law. There is no. And by the way, if you have. Doesn't matter. I have no money. Everything I have, I look like a. Those fucking shoes are fucking worth something to me. So I'm going to kill you and I'm gonna take your fucking shoes.

[Bill Maher]

Sounds like prison when you're not in prison.

[Shane Smith]

It's worse than fucking prison, dude. I can't even describe. It's like. It's beyond terrifying.

[Bill Maher]

So you went there. Did you stay overnight there?

[Shane Smith]

Well, I went and did an interview there. And so I have this thing where whenever I'm about to die, I'm, like, trying to tell my. Explain to my dad why. And we try to get out of West Point, and people surround the car and it's bad, and the film's rolling, and I'm like, dad, sorry. We came here to shoot a news story and it got out of control, and I'm a stupid fucking idiot. And I'm sorry because I was like, this is fucking it. Like, this is like, why?

[Bill Maher]

Because they were surrounding the car.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, we went into the worst place on earth. And just what the were we thinking?

[Bill Maher]

It sounds like Blackhawk Down.

[Shane Smith]

It was like Blackhawk Down. Exactly, Exactly.

[Bill Maher]

So how'd you get out?

[Shane Smith]

Our driver just, you know, went ape and got us the out.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, you just plowed through. Oh, I thought you were going to say which. We talked our way out.

[Shane Smith]

Oh, no, we had candy. No, it was bad. It was very bad. The one time.

[Bill Maher]

So they were chasing you?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Oh my God.

[Shane Smith]

The one time I talked my way out of that I'm proud of was we snuck into Mosul for that. Did I talk about Mosul?

[Bill Maher]

Mosul, northern Iraq. Where they, where they captured one of Saddam or both sons. Yeah, they were.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, sorry. That's Mosul.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah.

[Shane Smith]

This is.

[Bill Maher]

We're hiding out.

[Shane Smith]

I got it wrong. It's Fallujah. So Fallujah, that's one thing you had asked another story, and I've forgotten because I'm drunk. But Fallujah, we were going into Fallujah because that's one story that we had. So yeah, we broke the story on the American military were using depleted uranium shells and they said they weren't. And they used them because they're really good at sort of vaporizing a house, you know, and it turns it to dust. We heard this story that the Fallujah has more child deformities than Hiroshima and Nagasaki, right? So we're like, okay, well that's a story. So we went and it was the precursor of ISIS was running Fallujah, this militia. And we went in the front door and they said, no, you can't come in. And we said, okay. So we went the back way and interviewed like the doctors and the kids and the things. And there were so many, you know, crazy atomic mutations in the children from these depleted uranium shells. Thank God we fucking interviewed the mayor of Fallujah because when we went out, the fucking driver went out the first gate where we had been refused and they said, we told you you couldn't fucking come in. So they take us down this. In the forts in Afghanistan. Sorry. In Iraq they have these, they look like the triangular barriers on a highway, but they're like 20ft high and they're bomb blasting. And we drive down it and at the end there's always a fort. You know, there's a fort with machine guns and in this one there's a field of rocks. And that's bad because that's a killing field. So we end up in this fucking killing field and we're like riding over the rocks. Sorry. There's like these blast walls you're driving. So it's manmades, there's blast walls and when you get there, there should be a fort or a fucking Nissan Hunt or something. Communications. If it's a field, it's bad, right?

[Bill Maher]

You have to drive over.

[Shane Smith]

No.

[Bill Maher]

To get where you're going.

[Shane Smith]

No, there's nothing there. There's a field. The field is a killing field. That's where they take you to kill you.

[Bill Maher]

Oh, I see.

[Shane Smith]

So we get there and we're like, oh, there's a killing. Like we're. And I remember my producers, the big tall guy, and he started saying how this is no different. He was speaking falsetto for some reason. There's no. This is no different than when Saddam Hussein was blowing Saddam Hussein. And how. I'm like, they don't speak fucking English. All they hear is fucking, blah, blah, blah, Saddam Hussein. Blah, blah, blah, Saddam Hussein. Like, shut up. So we're there and it's fucking getting really fucking like, oh, shit, I'm talking to my dad in my head again.

[Bill Maher]

Gosh.

[Shane Smith]

And I remember going to the guy saying we were trying to call the embassy and we're trying to call the fucking. Dude. Everyone's trying to call everyone. I said, just call the fucking mayor. Just call the mayor. Because we had interviewed the mayor as a fucking favor. I said, just call the mayor. Mayor. They called the mayor. And I said, I'm trying to get the fucking story out about the children. I'm trying to get the story. Tell them. I'm trying to get the story out. And it went from us being in a killing field to them saying, let's go have a feast together and you can eat all this fucking, you know, bulls balls.

[Bill Maher]

I always say that about Middle Easterners. They're killing you or feasting you. There's no in between, my friend. But once again, Shane, I think I can top you with this story because I have been to all of Puff Daddy's freak off parties. Are you familiar with this? Freak off parties?

[Shane Smith]

You beat me on that one.

[Bill Maher]

Wait, for all of them.

[Shane Smith]

Wow.

[Bill Maher]

Do you know what his code name is at his freak off parties?

[Shane Smith]

No.

[Bill Maher]

General Butt Naked.

[Shane Smith]

You brought it all around. You brought it all around. That's what Trump calls a weave. You just did a weave.

[Bill Maher]

Exactly. Whenever somebody was like, get General Butt naked. We need more oil. It was like they meant, go get puffy.

[Shane Smith]

I think that's going to be the viral thing. General Puff Daddy. General Butt Naked. No, that's even another thing. The new scary general in Liberia is called General Puff Daddy. And his nickname here was Butt Naked, by the way.

[Bill Maher]

Puff Daddy. One of the greatest names ever. He should never have kept Chained Diddy and P. Did Puff Daddy. Perfect. Done.

[Shane Smith]

Not as good as General Butt Naked. Come on.

[Bill Maher]

I'm not saying Puffy hasn't done worse things. I'm just saying he should have kept that name.

[Shane Smith]

Keep the name.

[Bill Maher]

Keep the name. Puff Daddy was the coolest name. And now that he's not using it, what would be.

[Shane Smith]

I would be gonna take it over you fucking.

[Bill Maher]

I am Puff Daddy. I mean, I literally am that. I'm those things wrapped into one man. But, you know, people would think of him and the. And the parties, and there's all kinds of.

[Shane Smith]

There's all kinds of legac.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, yeah, those parties are still going on, but they're just dancing now.

[Shane Smith]

Okay.

[Bill Maher]

So. Okay, so we've covered the two. That's one and two. I love this line of questioning. North Korea, Monrovia, Liberia. A surprise choice to me, dude. Three would be what third worst? Someplace else where you were thinking you were gonna die.

[Shane Smith]

Kandahar.

[Bill Maher]

Kandahar. Okay. Kandahar, Afghanistan. A very solid choice.

[Shane Smith]

Home of the Taliban.

[Bill Maher]

Home of the Taliban and the brave.

[Shane Smith]

The brave Taliban.

[Bill Maher]

It's odd. They have the same anthem we do. Home of the Taliban. Yeah. Now, I've heard they're bad people, but are they just really misunderstood? I mean, look, everybody has different views on women. I mean, you know, look, Harrison Butker and I don't agree on everything, but, you know, I don't think he's a terrible person. Am I wrong to think that it's the same way with the Taliban?

[Shane Smith]

Just miss, the Taliban have been killing people for a long fucking time, and they're going to keep killing people for a long fucking time. And it's. Look, I will say they are the best freedom fighters in the world because they never fucking give up. Do you want to go there? If you're a fucking liberal wit who likes to fucking make waggish jokes.

[Bill Maher]

Where'd you stay in Kandahar?

[Shane Smith]

So that's a great question. You can't stay in. You have to stay again, you have to stay in guest houses.

[Bill Maher]

And they will report guest houses in.

[Shane Smith]

And they will. They will report you to the Taliban because it's the Taliban's home.

[Bill Maher]

So you say guest houses. You mean airbnb?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, like Afghani guest houses. I don't know what happened.

[Bill Maher]

Well, how do you arrange the guest house thing? Is it a. You know. You know, you don't want to go by a single email because that's what happened in that movie where Cameron Diaz switch houses.

[Shane Smith]

You have to have local. You have to have Local fixers fix you. By the way, if you don't wear, like, some sort of chapel in Kandahar, you're fucking done. I mean, I was there. You want to hear a crazy story? I don't want it to always. Okay, this is the crazy. You like this story?

[Bill Maher]

I'm asking.

[Shane Smith]

You're going to like this story. Okay. There's a guy named. The reason why I was in Kandahar, there's a guy named General Abdul Rizik, otherwise known as the Taliban Killer. He's the Colonel Kurtz of Afghanistan. And what happened was, was he was a young guy. His parents get killed by the Taliban, right? So he goes through the tunnels into Pakistan, into Wazir, Northwest Frontier problem. And he sweeps a floor. He's illiterate, very like, you want to talk about poor sweeping a floor in a Waziristan fucking, you know, not rich. So he sneaks back in as a teenager, and it's kind of like the Artful Dodger kind of shit. They're wearing like Adam and the Ants, like threads of weird shit. And they look crazy. They kind of look good. I've got to say, their style was good.

[Bill Maher]

It sounds like it's dope.

[Shane Smith]

If we have an Adam and the Ants picture, it'd be great. No one understands that, but they look pretty good. But he started killing Taliban dudes because they killed his parents, right?

[Bill Maher]

Sure.

[Shane Smith]

So when the Americans invade, they say, anyone who's fighting the Taliban, right, come, and we're going to give them training. So they train him and they give him money. So he goes back. The reason why I say Colonel Kurtz is he goes back to Kandahar, where he's from, and all Taliban activity goes to zero. He kills everybody. There's no Taliban like in Kandahar. During his period, he also becomes the biggest drug dealer in the world. He has $2 billion of gold bullion. His brother killed Karzai's brother, the Prime Minister's brother. And so I go down there to interview him, and I'm wearing, like, fucking full on fast use. And I interview him. Spent two days down there. And the day I inter. The first day I went to go interview him, I pulled up to his compound and there were two masks on the ground. And then they said, you can't interview him today. And they had to go back. And I said. And they said, oh, those masks were human faces. They were bombs. And they blew off their own faces, off their own bodies.

[Bill Maher]

It happened.

[Shane Smith]

It happened. So I go back. I entered. So I fly to Kabul Right. And Kabul. This is how good Kandahar is. Kabul is like Paris in the springtime. It's like, there's food, right? And there's beds. It's the capital, and it's the capital Kabul usually is. People are terrified. You know, people are, holy fuck.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, it's the capital of the. One of the worst places in the world. But everything I've ever learned about it was that if you have to be in Afghanistan, at least be in Kabul, because there was the government there, and.

[Shane Smith]

There was, well, this one hotel, the Serene. It periodically gets bombed or shot or attacked. But it's a hotel.

[Bill Maher]

But it's a hotel.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. So Kandahar doesn't have. So when you come from Kandahar, I.

[Bill Maher]

Mean, why the brunch has to end at 11, I don't know.

[Shane Smith]

So anyway, I get there and the American embassy reaches out to me and they have dea, treasury, and somebody Weird. Treasury? No, CIA. It wasn't weird. It was CIA, treasury, dea. And so they take me to the bottom of the basement of the American embassy and they say, okay, we're going to trade with you on deep cover all these stories. Give us Rizik. What's going on, Rizik? And I'm like, what do you mean, what's going on, Rizik? And they're like, give us. Give us. You trade and we'll give you stories. And I'm like, I fucking asked him questions in English. He responded and past you until I translated. I don't know what the fuck. Give me Rizik. Rizik is your guy.

[Bill Maher]

Hey, if you dropped a dime on Rizik, wouldn't you 100% be then killed?

[Shane Smith]

And also, it's not great to like drop dime on your own sources and your own interview people.

[Bill Maher]

Especially when the people you're dropping the dime on are the Taliban also.

[Shane Smith]

Well, not the Taliban, the Taliban killer. Colonel Kurtz. But my whole thing is he's your guy. Why the are you asking me anything? You know, so to go back to it, you're fucked if you do. You're fucked if you're out. You don't. Don't visit Kandahar. Number three bagel. Long winded. Long winded. But I get there in the end, Bill.

[Bill Maher]

Long winded. That's what a podcast is, is Long wind.

[Shane Smith]

I'm learning from the best. I love your podcast.

[Bill Maher]

I love it too. Thank you.

[Shane Smith]

Funny as fucking shit.

[Bill Maher]

So glad you're on this network. You're perfect for this club. Random network. This is exactly what we should be doing. And don't worry about long wind. When I first started these, we did an hour, and everyone was like, you're cheating us. An hour. I don't understand the American attention span. It's either seven seconds or two hours. Nothing in between.

[Shane Smith]

Two hours if it's audio. Seven seconds if it's.

[Bill Maher]

It's just unbelievable. It's like. I don't get it, but. Yes. No. All right, so what's the number four? Number four, Worst place we have North Korea, Monrovia, Liberia.

[Shane Smith]

I don't even know if it's a country, but I think it is South Sudan.

[Bill Maher]

South Sudan is a country now? Yes.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. It wasn't when I was there.

[Bill Maher]

That is, again, a very solid choice, one that I would have guessed would be in the top four.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

No, South Sudan was not when I was there. Sudan, for fans of George Clooney, is where Darfur is. I say that.

[Shane Smith]

North Sudan. I've been there, too. I snuck into Darfur. Not recommended.

[Bill Maher]

Province of Sudan. And George Clooney did a lot to bring aid there. And, I mean, he has my great admiration for using.

[Shane Smith]

He's a good cat.

[Bill Maher]

Using his celebrity. Yeah, I'm not. I don't agree with his wife on Israel. But let's.

[Shane Smith]

I'm not familiar.

[Bill Maher]

You don't have to go there.

[Shane Smith]

Well, South Sudan was not South Sudan when I was there. And it was grim. I had cereal that tasted like rotten chicken. I remember that.

[Bill Maher]

It's famous for one thing. Fat.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. Well, no. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

[Bill Maher]

You got it on the tourist posters. It says, come for the famine, stay for the Ebola.

[Shane Smith]

No, but I remember going, oh, we.

[Bill Maher]

Kid the Third World.

[Shane Smith]

No. Well, Sudan's fine. Like Sudan, much like Venezuela, could be rich. I mean, one of the things about Sudan, Darfur. So I snuck into Darfur. Speaking of Darfur, speaking of racism, all you hear about is Arab on black. Know, ethnic cleansing, etc. Etc.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Shane Smith]

And the reason why I actually went to South Sudan was I went to Dar, snuck into Dar again. Stupid. Do not do that, kids. And. And we found out.

[Bill Maher]

How do you sneak in?

[Shane Smith]

That's a great question. You can watch my documentary on bikes. But anyway, I snuck in essentially through Chad. No, I was in. I was in Sudan, and I went with the UN on a. On a. On a sort of a relief plane, on a hitchhike. And I got in, and there's a guy named Mini Manawi who was the head of the sort of anti. He was the anti. Jane. The Jane are the dudes who have the bad guys and the thing, by the way, they look great, but terrifying. And so. So Mini Minawi, kind of the Taliban of Sudan. There you go. And the Jane, the Jan, they were terrifying, like super terrifying. But so Mini Minawi was fighting them.

[Bill Maher]

But not as bad as Israel.

[Shane Smith]

Okay, dude, so they're pretty bad. I mean, I'm going to say. I don't know if anyone's worse than.

[Bill Maher]

No, nobody's worth.

[Shane Smith]

But we found out when we were there that they had found oil and that the whole thing was just a pretense to get other people off the land so they could get the oil. And they said, well, there's no difference on the Liberty Wells Chevron down in South Sudan. And we're like, what the fuck? So we flew down to South Sudan, which was having a full on civil war.

[Bill Maher]

That's how they became a country.

[Shane Smith]

There you go. And so with Bashar, the guy from Khartoum. So we went down there and I was filming this fucking civil war about oil, which I was like breaking the story. So I was super stoked. But it was fucking grim, I've got to say, dude. It was not enjoyable. So that's number four.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I can understand that. I'm in South Sudan and I wish them luck as a country and I don't blame them because, you know, the bureaucracy in Khartoum, I mean, where all the elitists are in Khartoum.

[Shane Smith]

That's true.

[Bill Maher]

But you know, the real people are in South Sudan. I mean, am I right? They look like the people people. Not like, look, dude. Not like the, you know, fancy the goat milk eaters.

[Shane Smith]

Khartoum is, is. Khartoum is so. Okay, so they have people like this all day long in Khartoum with machine guns pointed at the sky. Why? Because the Americans are coming.

[Bill Maher]

Well, I mean, we did bomb the.

[Shane Smith]

To go back to Black Hawk Down.

[Bill Maher]

Well, also during Clinton's administration.

[Shane Smith]

Did we bomb.

[Bill Maher]

Yes, we bombed something that we said was building weapons.

[Shane Smith]

And it looks like it was a Port Sudan.

[Bill Maher]

I think it looked like it was a pharmaceutical.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, maybe it was Port Sudan.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, I think they were making aspirin. And we thought.

[Shane Smith]

And then we thought they were making nuclear weapons.

[Bill Maher]

Okay, so we don't get everyone, right?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, no, yeah. No, cartoon's not good. And like South Sudan was worse. I mean. Yeah, it was. Yeah. So that's number four.

[Bill Maher]

There's a movie called Khartoum.

[Shane Smith]

Is there?

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. Why would I say it if there was? Which is about the battle that took place in 1850.

[Shane Smith]

Well, I know that one? Was it Gordon?

[Bill Maher]

Yes. 1859. Yeah.

[Shane Smith]

Gordon. Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

Olivier. Lawrence Olivier is in. Oh, love him and Larry. It's. What happened was the British conquered Africa north to south.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And the French conquered Africa east to west. And they met at Cartoon.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

And of course, it was wrong.

[Shane Smith]

I think Gordon got in that one, didn't he?

[Bill Maher]

I don't. You know what? I don't remember if I remember correctly.

[Shane Smith]

The British. That's the Four Feathers, maybe.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah. It's that kind of stuff.

[Shane Smith]

They got squared.

[Bill Maher]

Michael Caine and. You know that one.

[Shane Smith]

That's another good.

[Bill Maher]

About South Africa.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. But. Well, the Michael Caine one is. Would Be King, which is Afghanistan.

[Bill Maher]

Yeah, that's. Oh, that's Afghanistan.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, That's Alexander the Great.

[Bill Maher]

Right.

[Shane Smith]

Which, by the way. Come on. Alexander the Great in Afghanistan. It is, yeah.

[Bill Maher]

The man who Would Be King.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah. So it's there in India, they go to Kafiristan, which is Afghanistan, because you can't. You have to go through the mountains to get there. And they. He. They think they're Sikander, which is Alexander the Great. And so they think that they're. Because they're. They're. They're. What's it called with the. With the plane meets the thing with the fucking Masons. They think they're Masons. Which. Alexander the Great was a Mason. So they see the Masons, they think they're kings. What's that?

[Bill Maher]

A club?

[Shane Smith]

The Masons? Freemasons. Come on.

[Bill Maher]

It's a club, right?

[Shane Smith]

Are you kidding me? Freemasons. Come on.

[Bill Maher]

Alexander the Great was a Freemason.

[Shane Smith]

Well, that's in the movie. I don't know if it's for Freemasons. The man who Would Be King is about Peach and Daniel, who go north to fucking Kafiristan to become kings. And that's what happens. And it's Afghanistan, and they go. And he gets his fucking head got off.

[Bill Maher]

That's a pretty good Michael King.

[Shane Smith]

There we go.

[Bill Maher]

I think your history's way off. Anyway, I'll check it out.

[Shane Smith]

No, that's. Well, that's the story. It's Kipling. It's Kipling. And the story is that they see Alexander the Great's thing, which was that they were Masons, so they become kings. And then when Roxanne bites him and sees blood, they're like, well, you're not a fucking God. So they cut the fucking head off.

[Bill Maher]

So here's my question. When you're on one of these shoots, we see the footage that you get, which is, of course, a Tiny percentage of the time you actually spent there. Like, you're in Kandahar, you're in Monrovia, you're in any of these fucking hell holes. I mean, you know, I know Trump's a bad person and I certainly hate him and don't want him to be president, but, you know, shithole wasn't exactly wrong about places in this world. You're in a shithole.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

What do you do during the downtime?

[Shane Smith]

Jack off. Shut your mouth.

[Bill Maher]

Wait, jack off?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, like, it's a stress release. Your stress doesn't.

[Bill Maher]

But you can't do it all day. Sort of. Really?

[Shane Smith]

You sort of can. I mean, there's a lot of waiting, definitely.

[Bill Maher]

I understand the waiting.

[Shane Smith]

There's a lot of waiting for warlords. You're in a. Kind of a shitty room. You've got no connectivity, you got no computer, you have no phone.

[Bill Maher]

You have your dick.

[Shane Smith]

You have your dick. Dick's always there, baby.

[Bill Maher]

You have your dick and you have your mind.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, there you go. Just replaying.

[Bill Maher]

And what are you jerking off to? That chick? I saw her eyes through the slit near Burqa.

[Shane Smith]

Well, there's something called memory.

[Bill Maher]

I know, I understand.

[Shane Smith]

And no, look, I mean, you know, some of the best times are actually hanging out with the crew. Shout out to Jake Burghard, like, the best DP ever. You hang out with the crew, you know, you eat some chicken to go back to the worst fucking gdp. The best fucking chicken, Liberia, is a great chicken. Like, you just. You have some weird, weird chicken, which is going to make you have the shits. And you. You spend a lot of time on the toilet, which explains the jacking off. There it is. I mean, what are you gonna do? And, you know, you maybe do some writing, you do some reading. There's a lot of thinking, which is why I, you know, when you're there, you do some good interviews because you're sitting there, you got to get metaphysical, like, to go back to your point. And you're a pretty smart guy. You go. You go to the metaphysical, you're like, well, let's get to what the questions are. We should really ask. And so instead of just being like, why is the Taliban so mad at us? Like, you sort of. You're so fucked up and you're so. That you get in there and you're like, okay, let's talk about humanity.

[Bill Maher]

Well, once again, Shane, I have a very similar experience. I was making a movie in 1985 in Mexico called Club Med, and we shot it at the Club Med at Home. My God, there was, like, weeks on every. Well, I mean, I wasn't in the shot for, like, two weeks in a row. What am I going to do there?

[Shane Smith]

Yeah.

[Bill Maher]

I mean, very often the tennis courts were so crowded, we had to play double. I mean, it was just a nightmare. I mean, I remember being, you know, snorkeling. How many times can you look at the same blowfish? I mean, after a while, the whole fish was like, okay, why don't you take a picture, man? All right. I gotta go back to my day job.

[Shane Smith]

All right.

[Bill Maher]

Bro, this was so awesome. I'm so glad you're here with the crew.

[Shane Smith]

Great to see you, man.

[Bill Maher]

It's an honor to have you on the Club Random, whatever it is. Well, you know what? Let me read my.

[Shane Smith]

Yeah, there we go. Come on.

[Bill Maher]

November 1st and 2nd at Vegas. The David Copperfield Theater at the MGM Grand. November 16, the Beacon in New York. Oh, my God, what a great. And then next day, Washington, D.C. that's my. The whole. These are only four more days. You can see me live. This year. The act is off the hook. You should go see it. November 17th is the theater at the MGM national harbor in Washington, D.C. i think that might be in Maryland, but I may be wrong. They're all very close together there. Anyway, come out to see me. I may not be doing that much longer, and I'm having a ball doing it. And this. And. Thank you. And. And back to work.

[Shane Smith]

Thank you, buddy.

[Bill Maher]

Okay.

[Shane Smith]

Thank you, bro. That was awesome.

[Bill Maher]

So much fun.

[Shane Smith]

That was really great.

[Bill Maher]

We'll do it again.

[Shane Smith]

Love you, man.

[Bill Maher]

You too, pal.

[Shane Smith]

Biggest fan.

[Bill Maher]

Thank you.

[Shane Smith]

I know you hear that a lot.

[Bill Maher]

But not from you.

[Shane Smith]

I'm proud of what you do.