“With the help of thy grace” – we say it often or at least we should as it is in the Act of Contrition. "I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of sin." Interestingly, the phrase “firmly resolve” means having a strong, unwavering determination, commitment, or fixed purpose to do something. It indicates a person has made a firm, final decision and is committed to acting on it, often despite obstacles, doubts, or difficulties. Yet the prayer adds – “with the help of Thy grace.” Despite us making a firm and final commitment to act even in the presence of obstacles, doubts, or difficulties – we need God's assistance.

We always have at the “ready” God's assistance to avoid temptation, to prevent missteps, to overcome sins. Yet too often we choose to rely solely on personal willpower. Most of us, especially men, go through life like everything depends on us. We act like God’s up there watching while we hustle down here. However, our job isn’t to be the source of strength. It’s to be a conduit. A channel. A servant. Our strength is borrowed. Stop asking, “What can I do for God?” and start asking, “What is God doing in me and through me right now?” What am I allowing him to do? And “Where am I taking control?” In a world where we are told to “make our mark,” we need to flip the script. We are not self-made. We are not the source. However, we fear that dependence is weakness. But with God, dependence is the gateway to power. Real power. Power not fueled by ego or performance—but by love. This demands trust, Surrender. We are not removing effort—we are redefining where the power comes from.

Christ’s yoke is easy (Matthew 11:30) but the way is hard (Matthew 7:14). Are these contradictory metaphors from the book of Matthew? No. We are carrying light burdens on a hard path. Why? We are yoked directly alongside Jesus. It is a shared burden where Jesus carries the heavy load along the hard path.

Paraclete – Para – along side (where we get the word parallel) and clete – “called” – the Greek meaning is “summoned, called to one’s side.” Paraclete is also a legal term and in effect means someone called alongside to help, defend, or console. The original meaning is more akin to a legal counselor, especially in the context of enduring trials. We can think about it like a divine defense attorney. The Holy Spirit is on our side, not to convict us (that’s the role of the accuser), but always to help us recall who we are. And to help us walk in the reality of who we are. The Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, brings and activates God's grace in our lives. Grace is God's unmerited favor and enabling power, the Holy Spirit is the divine agent who delivers that power, enabling us to do what we cannot achieve on our own.

When we say “Let God do the Heavy lifting” it isn’t necessarily defined or limited to a major incident. It doesn’t have to be an immediate or instantaneous life-changing event. A subtle allowance to let God do the lifting, even in the smallest of ways, can set us on a new course/path. Ever so slightly we amend our path and that creates a new destination.

Consider traveling a due east path around the world that leaves from New York City. Staying on this path, without deviation, will result in a return to New York City. However, if we adjust this path just one degree, we end up Montreal Canada – a different city, even a different country. The slightest change creates a new destination.

Sometimes we grasp, grab, and hold on for dear life. Especially in moments of fear. However, His hands are infinitely bigger and stronger. Let Him hold us. St. Paul’s notes his reliance on God to provide in Philippians 4:13, “I have the strength for everything through HIM who empowers me.” We can do whatever He is calling us to if we walk with Him and rely on His strength, wisdom, and love to see us through. God wants to work with us. He wants to walk with us. He wants to carry the load. So why do we go solo and do it alone?

We often start a project or a journey based on a calling. Then we get so caught up in the doing and literally take control to do it all on our own. We let the excitement of what God is doing envelop and carry us, that we don’t continue to reflect, pray, or discern with God about His direction. God led us to it and then we decided somewhere along the way to do it ourselves. We end up overwhelmed, consumed, maybe even confused or frustrated because things aren’t working. We need to pause and give it back to Him and ask for His direction. Allow Him to lift that weight from us.

So how do we improve ourselves in this area and rely on God’s grace to lift us? Prayer – prayer and discernment make it present/top of mind.

St. Francis de Sales employed a simple three-step method for a "Direction of Intention" prayer, designed to sanctify the day by beginning tasks with – Ask, Offer, Accept - 1) Ask: Before beginning any task, Ask for God's grace to be present and to perform the action for His love, 2) Offer: Offer all our actions, both interior and exterior, to God, along with our heart. Give Him the honor/glory, and 3) Accept: Accept whatever outcomes, challenges, or sacrifices result from that time in advance – thy will be done. I have used this methodology in my life before business meetings and presentations, before critical conversations, before a Coach Mahr talk – and found great peace in it.

Choice & Intentionality – not that we choose against the use of God’s grace, we simply do not choose for it. Personal responsibility and the idea that inaction is still a deliberate, consequential decision. If we do not choose, we have ultimately chosen to let the situation be decided by other factors. Be intentional and choose to ask for God’s grace.

And if we want to be more attuned to God’s grace, we should strive to emulate Him by exhibiting grace with others – our family, friends, co-workers, and our neighbor. “Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

We still row the boat… but we stop pretending we can control the current. We have to do more than ask God to do the heavy lifting, we have to let Him. In the words of St. Bede - “open our sails let God steer us where He will.”