What if the patterns you keep trying to escape are patterns some unconscious part of you is still invested in?

In this provocative and deeply philosophical episode of Coached with Coach Keren, Coach Keren Eldad sits down with Carolyn Elliott for a conversation about shadow work, suffering, individuation, spirituality, power, and the unconscious pleasures hidden beneath human behavior.

Carolyn - bestselling author of Existential Kink and founder of Immortal College - shares the personal experiences that led her to develop one of the most confronting frameworks in modern personal development: the idea that we may unconsciously derive pleasure from the very situations we consciously reject.

Together, Keren and Carolyn explore the relationship between shadow integration and freedom, why high achievers often remain trapped in repetitive cycles, and how true transformation begins when we stop performing healing and start telling the truth.

In this episode:

What “existential kink” actually means
Why the unconscious creates recurring life patterns
The hidden pleasure inside suffering, struggle, and martyrdom
Carolyn’s journey through addiction, recovery, and depth psychology
Why many people use spirituality as another achievement identity
The difference between performative healing and true integration
The role of humility, groundedness, and honesty in real growth
The connection between suffering and awakening
The danger of bypassing discomfort in coaching and personal growth
Why freedom often begins by embracing the parts of ourselves we fear most

Mentioned in the episode:

Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott
Awaken Your Genius by Carolyn Elliott
Answer to Job by Carl G Jung
The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck
Kabbalah (Kabbalah.com), individuation, and mystical Christianity

Connect with Carolyn Elliott:

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who is ready to stop running from themselves — and start becoming whole.

Mentioned in this episode:

Book a Call