A Gang of Hooligans Who Make it Happen

Summary

Coffee Convos with Kail Lowry and Lindsie Chrisley

Episode: "A Gang of Hooligans Who Make it Happen"
Air Date: February 5, 2026
Guest: Alessandra (Vibin and Killer Network)

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode dives into the chaos and camaraderie behind the scenes of podcasting and daily life as mothers, partners, and public figures. Kail, Lindsie, and guest Alessandra candidly discuss mental health, the struggle for control amidst chaos, the importance of routines, relationship dynamics, self-care, and the complexities of sharing their very public lives. Throughout, the trio maintain their trademark humor and relatability, focusing on what it means to "make it happen" as a self-titled "gang of hooligans" operating in the spotlight.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chaotic Starts to the Year & Need for Control

Timestamps: 00:39 – 07:17

• Kail recounts how a plan for a peaceful New Year with a Mexico trip went awry; life's chaos led her to obsessively clean her home as a "way to find control."
• Notable quote:

  "I have this very toxic trait that when my life feels very chaotic, everything has to be clean." — Kail (01:12)

• Alessandra highlights the "body doubling" ADHD coping mechanism—feeling more able to get things done with another person present—even virtually.
• Discussion of shifting cleaning schedules, organizing, and why cleaning routines offer dopamine for neurodivergent minds.

2. Parenting, Structure, and Routines

Timestamps: 07:17 – 13:45

• The group shares how structure, especially as parents, is both a necessity and a comfort.
• Kail and Alessandra explore being “one and done” with kids, appreciating the peace and order in child-free or single-person households, and the challenge of integrating partners or roommates into one’s space.
• Notable quote:

  "If you have ever gone through a period...where you’ve lived by yourself...just having your stuff in such an organized and clean fashion, it’s really hard to then...be with somebody and then be in your space." — Kail (10:32)

• Lively discussion on the dynamics of blended families, parenting handoffs, and adjusting household routines for co-parenting.

3. Self-care: Stress, Bodies, and Morning Routines

Timestamps: 13:45 – 32:34

• Suffering from the physical effects of stress—Kail and Alessandra discuss back problems, massages, carrying stress in their shoulders, morning moods, and strictly enforcing boundaries for mental health ("Do Not Disturb" settings, slow mornings, need for personal time).
• Comedic takes on massage parlors ("You don't know if it's an actual rub and tug"), partner's cleaning habits, men ruining home aesthetics, and being “morning people” (or very much not).
• Notable quote:

  “If you get with someone else and you do not set the tone of do, do not speak to me in the morning until...I have had a good 45 minutes to an hour—what do we need to be conversing about?” — Kail (26:27)

4. The Myth of Having It Together

Timestamps: 32:34 – 39:25

• Reflection on perceptions: are they a well-run crew or "gang of hooligans"? Consensus: "hooligans who make it happen"—highly functional, highly chaotic.
• Admitting the haze of production ("As soon as I’m done and I hit stop, I don’t remember a thing I just said.") and how talking for a living is both a calling and a running joke.
• Pilates as a team activity: calls to organize a group class, playful intimidation about the infamous "Reformer" machine.

5. Relationships, Fertility, and Relationship Parity

Timestamps: 33:23 – 42:12

• News story: A woman discovers she's "immunologically incompatible" with her husband's DNA, preventing conception (34:53).
• New research: how male DNA impacts pregnancy, the importance of male health in conception (and men rarely prep their bodies), the frustration of unbalanced gender expectations.
• Alessandra’s stand: if she abstains from cannabis or other habits for pregnancy, her partner should too—solidarity matters.
• Notable quote:

  “The least you could do is stop smoking for nine months.” — Alessandra (38:20)

• On relationship pet peeves: Partners cleaning beard trimmings ("grounds for divorce"), men’s peculiar blindness to messes, and why facial hair maintenance (and preference!) affects attraction.

6. Setting Boundaries with the Public; The Cost of Transparency

Timestamps: 46:00 – 54:34

• Kail addresses rumors about her personal life, emphasizing she cannot comment for legal reasons, promises transparency when possible, and underscores the toll of internet speculation.
• The double bind of being a public figure: damned if you do/don’t share; the necessity of protecting personal peace.
• Alessandra shares insight into the “expectation paradox,” online judgment, and how audience perspectives are shaped by their own experiences and traumas.
• Notable quote:

  “At the end of the day, these are two human beings figuring out how to create a life together...none of anybody’s business.” — Alessandra (47:13)

• Notable quote:

  “We all have the same 24 hours in a day...you have to choose...wisely and not burn yourself out.” — Kail (21:55)

7. Grace, Perspective, and the Chaos of Modern Society

Timestamps: 54:34 – 58:04

• Urging listeners to show grace online and in life—everyone projects their own experience, and expectations are at an all-time high.
• Notable quote:

  “Our perspectives of life...are always going to be really different because we all have different lived experiences...that make up our point of view in how we see the world.” — Alessandra (57:01)

8. True Crime, GoFundMe Scams, and Listener Skepticism

Timestamps: 58:04 – 65:23

• GoFundMe fraud stories (“a Florida woman impersonates a flood victim’s father”), the rise in donation scams, and how bad actors undermine legitimate need.
• Both discuss their own boundaries around fundraising—Kail won’t promote causes she hasn’t vetted due to prior experiences with scammers.
• Entry into a true crime discussion: the tragic Skylar Richardson case, false confessions, parental denial, the justice system's handling of complex teen mental health cases.

9. False Confessions and Difficult Conversations on Crime

Timestamps: 65:23 – 76:06

• Kail and Alessandra debate the plausibility of false confessions, especially under duress, citing the Richardson case and their own instincts as (or future) mothers.
• Nuances on child rearing, sheltering, teenage sexual health, and the gray zones of parental awareness.
• The episode closes with a commitment to having hard discussions, expressing both opinions and ambivalence about high-profile crime stories.

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On Cleaning as Control:
  "I have this very toxic trait that when my life feels very chaotic, everything has to be clean. I've talked about this a lot." — Kail (01:12)

• On ADHD and Body Doubling:
  "Body doubling is so helpful for people with ADHD...it helps motivate them." — Alessandra (04:15)

• On Men and Homes:
  "A man is always going to ruin the aesthetic. They just are, it’s what they do." — Alessandra (09:43)

• On Setting Boundaries:
  "Do not speak to me in the morning until I have had a good 45 minutes to an hour." — Kail (26:27)

• On Solidarity in Relationships:
  “The least you could do is stop smoking for nine months.” — Alessandra (38:20)

• On Public Judgment:
  “At the end of the day, these are two human beings that are figuring out how to create a life together. And however that looks is none of anybody’s business.” — Alessandra (47:13)

• On Parenting and Secrecy:
  "If my daughter...came out [of the doctor] visibly shaken and upset, I’m going to start questioning that immediately." — Kail (70:02)

• On True Crime Discussion:
  “As soon as I’m done and I hit stop, I don’t remember a thing I just said.” — Alessandra (31:43)
  "If you do not have facial hair...don't come my way because I immediately don't trust you." — Kail (40:31)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [00:39–07:17] — New Year chaos, cleaning & ADHD coping
• [07:17–13:45] — Parenting handoffs, routines, and personal space
• [15:23–26:27] — Stress, bodies, self-care, and morning moods
• [32:34–33:23] — Do we have it together? The "hooligan" persona
• [33:23–42:12] — Fertility frustrations, gender roles, relationship tidbits
• [46:00–54:34] — Addressing personal rumors and online boundaries
• [58:04–65:23] — GoFundMe scams, audience skepticism
• [65:23–76:06] — Deep dive: Richardson true crime case, false confessions

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Tone & Style

The conversation is authentic, humorous, and sometimes unfiltered, reflecting both the exhaustion and the camaraderie of women doing a lot with a little…and making it work, chaos and all. There's both playful banter and vulnerability—a glimpse into real lives behind public figures.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode of Coffee Convos is a masterclass in messy adulthood—balancing mental health, motherhood, relationships, and public scrutiny, all with relatable humor and no facades. Kail, Lindsie, and Alessandra deliver moments of insight, reassurance, and comic relief for anyone feeling like they're just barely making it happen. And if you’ve wondered whether the behind-the-scenes of your favorite podcasts is tidy and organized—rest assured, it’s just a gang of hooligans, making it work, one chaotic week at a time.

Transcript

[Kale Lowry]

I hate gift giving and receiving.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Receiving gifts is so weird. What do you say? Thank you.

[Kale Lowry]

This is Coffee Convos with Kale Lowry and Lindsay Chrisley. I really want you to be in your feels.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Kale, that does not interest me whatsoever.

[Kale Lowry]

I feel very attacked by you. A spirited discussion about motherhood, friendship, family, and life in the public eye. I'm just not with the fakery anymore.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

There's a fakery bakery around here.

[Kale Lowry]

Here's Kale and Lindsay. Good morning and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Combos podcast. This week, I, Alessandra, joining me from Vibin and Killer Network. Backend.

[Alessandra]

Killer Network. Every time somebody asks on set what my job is, Kale's like, I don't know. And same, I don't really know. Head of production, I guess.

[Kale Lowry]

Alessandra actually inherited a lot of jobs over the past couple of weeks, so I love that for you.

[Alessandra]

Sure did. It's good, though. We're just. We're. It's been a chaotic start to 2026, to say the least.

[Kale Lowry]

Listen, my plan starting 2026 was to, like, roll into the year very peacefully with my trip to Mexico. Remember this?

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And I was like, okay, I'm going to take time off. From December 17th until January 7th, my world imploded, and I am now still picking up the pieces. I have this very toxic trait that when my life feels very chaotic, everything has to be clean. I've talked about this a lot.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And when I tell you I've had help in my house for probably the past three weeks, excessively cleaning things that, like, for example, tile.

[Alessandra]

Well, I'll never forget when I found out you mop your garage floor.

[Kale Lowry]

Wait, you found that out?

[Alessandra]

How? You told me on Southern T last year when we were recording that you mop your garage floor. And I. I will never forget that.

[Kale Lowry]

I just feel like it needs to be, like, fresh. You know what I mean?

[Alessandra]

I mean, it makes sense. Like, I normally don't know anybody else who does that.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay. So I had people in my house helping me, and I absolutely love my new cleaners. So I was telling somebody. I can't remember between the Southern tea in here, everything's running together at this point. But I was telling somebody that I just. I don't know what it is, but I needed to do, like, an overhaul on my life. When shit went south three weeks ago, I was like, okay, nope, this is happening. Like, that's changing. And truly, it's probably mental disorder. When you cause more chaos in your life when chaos already exist.

[Alessandra]

I Think it's more of a control thing. Like, you're trying to control what you can and trying to put in order what you can put in order when everything else isn't in order. Which makes sense. And, like, it could be worse, right? Like, at least you're just cleaning your house.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, so I got new cleaners and they came on Friday. But trying to get into, like, a cadence and, like, a rhythm of having, like, a specific cleaning day. So I used to love my cleaning days to be Fridays.

[Alessandra]

Okay. I love that.

[Kale Lowry]

To, like, start the weekend.

[Alessandra]

You know, I like that.

[Kale Lowry]

And then obviously every other weekend, Jackson's with me, which means that David has his daughter and she's with him.

[Alessandra]

Right.

[Kale Lowry]

So the kids are in and out of the house, tearing up and whatever. So I'm like, Fridays no longer work because it's basically cleaning to just mess up to need to be re cleaned on Monday. So my cleaning days to Monday, while trying to get into this cadence and rhythm, everything was just like a show and I needed some organizing done. And I do not work well unsupervised with no help. Yeah, I work really well, and nobody really has to necessarily be helping me. It's just like the existence of someone else being there.

[Alessandra]

It's the body doubling. Because you have ADHD too, right? Yeah. So we really like to body double. Like, I notice when you call me, you're always doing something, so, like, you need to. My mom is like that. I'm like that too. My mom will call me on a weekend and we'll both immediately get up and start doing our laundry because she also is adhd. Body doubling is so helpful for people with adhd. Like, it helps motivate them.

[Kale Lowry]

But, like, I wonder why is it just the. The thoughts of, like, somebody else doing stuff that they don't want to be.

[Alessandra]

Doing Also probably because, like, ADHD is just a lack of dopamine and stuff. Like, cleaning has. Does not give me personally any dopamine. So things that don't already create dopamine, we have to have something that will in order to motivate us to do it. So, like, that's why gamifying, like, Billy also has adhd, which God bless our household, God bless our future children, because they're gonna have a time. But, like, he used to gamify things. Like, if I'm like, oh, you see how fast you can do something? Like, in terms of cleaning, that helps him a lot. Like, I have to body double for some reason, that helps me. Like, just whatever. Dopamine fix Works for you to get you to do these things that suck.

[Kale Lowry]

That is so true, though I never really realized it until you said you're always doing something whenever we're talking on the phone.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And I do that, like, with my mom, I do it with my grandmother. I do it with David. I do it with you, I do it with Kayla.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And it just makes me feel, like, not alone while I'm doing it. And so I'm. It's almost like I'm focused on the conversation, but I'm also, like, productively getting something done.

[Alessandra]

Yes.

[Kale Lowry]

So they come on Friday, and everything is, like, spick and span, spotless. Right. And then they come back on Monday trying to get, like, on this regular routine, and everything's still pretty much clean. But please tell me why I'm getting out toothbrushes to, like, clean tile. It's not normal.

[Alessandra]

No. It's the same with the Pilates girl.

[Kale Lowry]

Girl.

[Alessandra]

Like, this girl was trying to go in to Pilates during an ice storm.

[Kale Lowry]

Yes. And if I would have had to drive, if that studio was open and I had to drive 10 miles per hour or even five to get there now, it would have taken me probably an hour and a half to get there.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

But it's totally worth it, actually. I took David to a Pilates class.

[Alessandra]

Oh, God. How do you do?

[Kale Lowry]

Number one, he was the only man that was in there. Number two, he told me last night, he was like, my legs still hurt from that.

[Alessandra]

From Sunday, because Pilates just looks like a little, like, la, la, la. Oh, no. You're working muscles you didn't even know existed on your body. That's why these Pilates girlies are toned, because the muscle, it's the small muscle movements. What is it called? The 1000s? Those AB movements? Dude, you're moving muscles in your legs, your torso, your core. Everything's core related in Pilates. And I feel like men don't have a core. They don't have any balance or flexibility or core strength at all.

[Kale Lowry]

It's so funny to see a man in there. But then David told me. He was like. I was watching this one reel the other day, and it was like, red flags. And he said, you had three of them. And I'm surprised I only had three. But what were they? And he was like, well, the only one that, like, really stuck out to me was, if you're dating somebody that.

[Alessandra]

Does Pilates, run the Pilates girlies. Well, it's the same thing. I think it's like the routine. But like, moms especially, like, they need stuff that's just for them. And I think so much of, like, what we experience in life is so far out of our control that it just makes sense to me that you need something that you can, like, look forward to that's structured.

[Kale Lowry]

I deal very, very well with structure, actually. This week, my. I mean, entire January was just a show. But then, of course, like, Will goes and decides that he's gonna double up on a work trip and make it a golf trip. Goes to Florida. I think he's in Tampa. And he's like, by the way, you have the dogs this week. And Jackson, brilliant. And I'm like, wait, so yesterday I was trying to, like, reschedule a bunch of stuff that I had going on because I have to leave my house at 4 o' clock to go and pick him up off the bus.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And so anything that happens after that is just not happening.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And when I tell you, okay, moms will definitely relate to this, and you need to prepare for this. Okay. You're going to work your days, and then when your kids get out of school, they are going to work you.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I can imagine. That's why, honestly, I stopped nannying when I was 30 because I kept telling myself, if I plan to have kids anytime soon, I can't do this. Like, I am burnt out from taking care of other people's kids. I have so much respect for people who work with children and then go home and take care of their own children. I don't. I couldn't do it. I could not do it.

[Kale Lowry]

I absolutely could not do that. And, I mean, I do love kids in general, but I love other people to take care of their kids and, like, me not be doing it. I don't need that job.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And I would be, like, a really good aunt.

[Alessandra]

Like, oh, I love being the aunt. Being the aunt is the best rule ever.

[Kale Lowry]

Give them to me and then I get to give them back.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. And I struggle with that because I'm turning 35, actually. What's today? The third two months from yesterday, I'll turn 35. I turned 35 in April. And I go back and forth like, I really want kids. And I think we've talked about it. Like, I'll probably just be one and done, which I'm totally fine with. But I am. Like, I really like my life. Like, it's fulfilling. I can go and hang out. My best friend lives literally seven minutes down the road. She has three kids, all under four. So baby from like, just had a baby six months ago to a three year old. Do you know what I mean? So I have it all. Then I get to come home and my house is silent. Like, it's dead silent. Where. And I put things away. They stay there most of the time. Because I do live with a man, unfortunately. Like, a man is always going to ruin the aesthetic. They just are, is what they do.

[Kale Lowry]

They don't talk about that on the phone the other day about, like, there is something so peaceful. If you have ever gone through a period of time where you've lived by yourself in singleness, just having your stuff in such an organized and clean fashion, it's really hard to then be with somebody and then be in your space. I actually saw this thing that. It was a quote from Kim Kardashian and she was talking about, like, you get really selfish in your singleness and it makes it really hard to even want to like, share your shows or your bed with some.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Oh, and I, like, I struggle with that too, even in my relationship. Especially like at the end of the day when I'm so tired and I've worked all day and he's worked all day. But like, my relaxation shouldn't just be like. His relaxation should be a priority too. Do you know what I mean? But, like, for Billy and I are really different. Like, our hobbies and the things we both enjoy are really different. He likes like, funny, stupid shows. I want to cry at a book. Do you know what I mean? Like, so we decompress really differently. So I've just gotten fine with him doing it on this side of the couch and me doing it on that side of the couch and doing it separately. But yeah, the aesthetic, the organization, they can try as much as they want, but it's just never going to be as clean and organized as it could be with somebody else living in your house. That goes for roommates too. Too.

[Kale Lowry]

Oh, God. I could. I could not do the roommate thing.

[Alessandra]

Like, did you ever live with a roommate?

[Kale Lowry]

I mean, I guess the closest thing to living with a roommate would have been when I moved in with Will and his brother also lived there. But I think it was just a completely different time of my life. Right. Like, I was 18 years old. No, 19 years old. 19 years old. His brother had like a big boy grown job and so he was out of the house, like working those long hours, whatever. I was going to school and then the baseball field to watch Will play baseball. So we weren't all there all the time.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, it wasn't like the same.

[Kale Lowry]

And we would do like family dinners and stuff together. And I pretty much was the cleaner and did all of the things.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Looking back on it now though, me at 36, like who I am now, I could never do that. Like, if I was dating somebody and they were like roommates with their brother and it's like, hey, move in. Absolutely not.

[Alessandra]

No. Like, if we talked about the other day, if I was single now at my age, it would be really difficult for me to date. Just like you said, it would be really difficult to allow somebody into my space, into my routine, into my heart, into my mind. Like all of those things because I. As you get older. I was just talking to Kayla about this the other day. Like I told her, I really hope that I can be an example to you of being excited to turn 30 because I cried. I lost my fucking mind when I turned 30. I thought my life was fucking crisis. Oh yeah, Lindsay, Like I lost it. I thought my life was over. I was like, oh my God. Like I'm so late. I don't know what I'm doing. Like, I don't know. On my 30th birthday was the last day I left nannying. And nanny was a career for me. I did it 12 years. I had certifications, I was a career full time nanny. And I left the last day was on my 30th birthday. And then I started working in this side of things and I was like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, you're living a six figure 12 year career to start over at 30. You don't own a home. You don't. Like I was freaking out and now I love it. You couldn't pay me to go back into my 20s. The only thing I wish I had is my energy and my back.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Kale Lowry]

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[Lindsay Chrisley]

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[Alessandra]

Like, I wish I had a good box girl.

[Kale Lowry]

Do not talk about backs. Because I was just saying last night, if I can figure out how to make it work in my schedule for someday this week, I need to go to a chiropractor and get a full blown back scan and I need him to blow my back the fuck out.

[Alessandra]

Same, same. I need like a Swedish massage right now.

[Kale Lowry]

Like I cracked. I need to be copped. I need to do acupuncture.

[Alessandra]

Oh, I love acupuncture.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay. Do you carry stress in your shoulders?

[Alessandra]

That's where all of my stress is, is here. And then I get tension headaches at the end of every fucking night because I'm like this all day and I have tmj.

[Kale Lowry]

Oh, have you tried Botox for it?

[Alessandra]

I'm going to try masseter Botox because I've heard people have really good results. But I really like, that's where I hold all my tension is like in my jaw and my shoulders.

[Kale Lowry]

Listen, the shoulder tension is absolutely the worst thing ever. I wish I could find like a place that gave really good massages. I just haven't. I have this one place, but it's kind of janky. You know what I mean? Like, you walk in and you don't know if it's an actual rub and tug and you're not participating or if it's just like real low rent. You know what I mean?

[Alessandra]

Yes, I do. Like you. My favorite masseuse is just like a normal masseuse parlor, but they're just really good. But it took a while for us to find the one we like. Like we've lived in this surrounding area for seven, eight years now. I've lived in this area and it took me a long time to find like the right masseuse way.

[Kale Lowry]

Are you partial to female masseuse?

[Alessandra]

No, my masseuse is a man. Because I need those hands. Like I need you to like fuck me up.

[Kale Lowry]

Like get all the way up in there.

[Alessandra]

Like My knots. Like, do you have a thera gun?

[Kale Lowry]

Okay, yeah. And I was telling somebody, and I don't know who I was telling, but David was rubbing that thing like on my back probably four or so weeks ago. And because of my shirt, it left like trail marks on it. So I haven't been able to use it for like two weeks because I was letting the stuff, like, scab over and flake off. But that is, like a good alternative. But it's not the same.

[Alessandra]

It doesn't do enough. And like Billy, when he's doing it to me, like, he can feel the knots, like the gun will slip as soon as he gets the knot. And I'm like, you need to dig in there. But it's just. It's not enough. It's like, just not enough. I need, like a deep pressure massage. So I actually will probably do that this weekend because I'm going to Delaware tomorrow morning at the ass crack of dawn.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, I'm probably going to see you. Wait, am I going to see you in Delaware at the end of February? We're in February.

[Alessandra]

We're in February. I don't know. Nobody's talked to me, but probably.

[Kale Lowry]

That'S what I'm thinking. We, Kale and I just had a meeting and like, so many things are shifting in life. Yeah, the good, but it's stressful. Like the text that I sent her a little bit ago, I'm gonna read it to you because you will so relate to this. I said I'm equally excited and stressed about life.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Because like, change is good. Like, I do like change, but it's a lot for my neurodivergent mind to wrap my head around. And then I get a little, like, flustered. I like change. I like things to be different because that helps me give, like, dopamine and not do the same thing every day. Because honestly, I really couldn't. I don't think that my days. I don't want my days to look the same every single day. But a lot of things just came at us really fast. Like, we didn't have time to prep. And I feel like that's what happened to me last year too. And I crashed chasing my tail. And I'm tired. And I really hope that by. I'm gonna give us till June, which I hope it doesn't take that. Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Why are you doing that? Like, why are you saying that to me?

[Alessandra]

I'm saying it to me. Like, I need to be realistic with myself because, like, I think that if I stay up every single night until 2am and I work really hard for, like two weeks. Everything will be fine. That's not the truth, and that's a really slippery slope for me to go. So I just want to be realistic with just myself and my expectations in the sense of, like, we have these really big goals, but there's small steps that we have to master to achieve them. And I worry that if we try to do everything all at one time, that there's going to be things that aren't perfected along the way and they'll fall to the wayside. It's kind of like New Year's resolutions. When you start going to the gym in the beginning of January and you start eating clean and healthy, it only lasts three weeks because you're doing too much at one time. Do you know what I mean?

[Kale Lowry]

I totally relate to that. I definitely made a statement today on a meeting and I said, ideally, I needed this fixed a year ago. Realistically, I know that it's still not fixed and it's not going to be fixed for some time. But, like, we need to slowly, like, start working towards where we're going and what we're doing.

[Alessandra]

And it's just a rhythm, which is really difficult because there's a lot of moving parts.

[Kale Lowry]

But I do think it's so relatable for what you just said to people. You know, if you're staying up until 2:00am, like, burning the. What do they call it? Like, midnight oil.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Like, if you're doing that and then you're not properly resting, you're not giving your full self to your job on the next day. So really you're doing a disservice to yourself. And when the world came crashing down. And when I say the world, I mean our world, when that came crashing down, I'm just like, oh, I need to be on my email 24 7. And I need to be responsive to all of these texts and, like, who are in these groups and like, what are we doing? I finally am at a place after what, like, three weeks that it's like I can only get to so many emails in a day and only deal with so much of what's going on and also have a custody situation. There's lots of things that are going on in my personal life as well, and I need to tend to all of those things, but also tend to myself. And I have to remember that, like, we all have the same 24 hours in a day and you have to choose what you're doing with those 24 hours, wisely and not burn yourself out.

[Alessandra]

Well, yeah, because it's also important to pour back into yourself. Like, I was texting with Rebecca, who is Kale's assistant, this morning in a group with her, and we, like, couldn't. We misunderstood each other. And she goes, oh, I was gonna say it's too early for you, alessandra, because it's 8:30. Because everybody's used to me not answering my phone till nine. I have very strict DND boundaries, you know, that I, like, will not get off my. It's a sett, like, so I don't even have notifications, don't even come through at all. And the numbers don't accumulate. So I don't even know if somebody called or texted me until the DND goes off. Because that's the best thing for me. Like, because if I still see the notifications and I'm on dnd, I'm going on and fucking using my phone. So I was like, oh, I get up every day between 6:30 and like, 7:30. And she's like, why? Like, you don't have kids. She's like, you don't have to get up. You don't have to take anybody to school. If I don't give myself that time in the morning, I have no mean time. And I need that time to be a human and have, like, to not feel like my entire life is dedicated to my job. Because we have jobs that are not only stressful because it's funny, I always say, like, this is. It's just social media. It's just social media. Like, I remind myself that in my head all the time. Like, we're not doing brain surgery, but like I just said, there's a lot of moving parts and there's always something to be done. Like, I could work 24 hours a day if I wanted to. So I have to implement that structure. I have to be honest with what my boundaries are, delegation, like, what my expectations are, managing expectations. And I also really just need to pour into myself more. I really want to start cooking again. I used to cook all meals because I was vegan for four years when.

[Kale Lowry]

You were doing that. And you used to post about, like, your meals and stuff on Instagram.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. And I love cooking, but because I'm so busy, I wasn't prioritizing it. But, like, they. They are right when they say you prioritize what you want. Like, if I really want to, I have to wake up early and I have to structure out my time and I have to take time on my Sunday to meal plan and do my grocery shopping and my list, even though I just want to read or I just want to sit on my ass because my week is so overstimulating. But you have to, like, put in the effort, and I think that we will find that rhythm. I think everybody can relate to this, especially in the beginning of the year. Like I always say, my year does not start at least till, like, March, because January and February are like the first pancake. Like, we're testing it out.

[Kale Lowry]

So I think the Chinese new year is February 17th. Last year was the year of the snake. This year that was shady was the year of the snake. This year is the year of the horse. And I encourage everyone to read about, like, what last year was and what this year is supposed to be. And so I'm giving myself grace to get to February 17, which is not far away.

[Alessandra]

No, it's not.

[Kale Lowry]

To try to, like, mentally reset, because right now, I feel like I'm just chasing my ass this morning. Laziest bitch ever. Okay, I get up this morning, get Jackson ready for school. And by the way, he doesn't start school until 9am so that was an adjustment when he started middle school because he used to be late after 7:32 or 7:35.

[Alessandra]

Nine is late for school to start, and nine's late.

[Kale Lowry]

So I kind of had to, like, readjust my whole morning schedule on the days that I have him. But then, of course, this week, I have him on days that I normally don't. And so he came downstairs and saw his lunchbox, and he was like, mom, where's my lunch? And I said, oh, oh, you're getting chick fil a for breakfast and a chick fil a meal going in your lunchbox.

[Alessandra]

Yep. I'm sure he was glad about it.

[Kale Lowry]

Because I do not have time for this. If you think I'm gonna sit down and make a homemade uncrustable right now, that is absolutely not. Not what is happening. It's so funny that you were saying about waking or Rebecca saying that, like, you're not an early person, because Kale sent me just yesterday this thing from my therapist says. And it says when someone tries to talk to me before my morning coffee, and the caption is, do not perceive me yet. And she said, this is you. Yeah, literally, I need at least. I mean, I wish a business day for nobody.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

Yeah.

[Alessandra]

No, seriously. Seriously.

[Kale Lowry]

But any person. And I. I'm saying this to people who are possibly, like, dating or, you know, maybe having marriage struggles that you want to get out of it if you get with someone else and you do not set the tone of do, do not speak to me in the morning until I have had a good 45 minutes to an hour. Like, what do we need to be conversing about?

[Alessandra]

It's because two things. Women's hormone cycles are different every day and a men's hormone cycle is 24 hours. So they wake up with energy. I wish. I don't. I don't think I've wok up with energy since I was like 2 years old.

[Kale Lowry]

All right, ladies. Before skims, underwear was always an afterthought for me. I've talked about this a lot. I would totally focus more on what I was wearing on the outside and think that a new dress or a new jacket would make me feel my best. But when I discovered skims, it made me realize that the bra and panty that I put on in the morning actually is what defines whether I'll be feeling amazing in my clothes. Now with Skims, my entire top drawer is filled with the most amazing, stretchy and supportive fabrics that keep me feeling comfortable and confident all day long. I love the cotton jersey dipped thong. If you guys do not have it, it is so good. One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to underwear is when they stretch out or lose their shape throughout the day. I have tried so many brands and nothing compares to Skim's cotton jersey dip thong. The fabric is lifechanging and it never loses its shape. I have worn and washed mine so many times they are still my favorite pair of underwear and I also regularly wear roughly about four to five times a week. That fits everybody. Triangle Bralette. I do have a larger chest that nobody would probably really know, but I never go braless. Usually bralettes give me no support or they feel like a sports bra and then I lose all of my shape. But somehow Skims has managed to make a bralette that has both the support and comfort. And it is big boob approved. You guys can shop our favorite bras and underwear wear skims.com after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Like what do you mean we're going to talk about what's going in an omelette on the stove that I'm not eating?

[Alessandra]

Billy wakes up. Like I've I think it really is a man thing, but Billy's the only man I like, really lived with. Like, I don't consider Any relationship I had before Billy, like a serious relationship, we were playing house. You know what I mean? He wakes up and he's go. Like, he can jump out of bed, get up, start going, talking, doing everything. I'm like, I will kill you. Don't talk to me. If you turn on a light, God bless you. That's why I started drinking coffee at 13 years old, because my mom had to start getting something to help me in the morning because I was a bitch. Like, I was. I'm bad. I'm not nice in the morning. Like, on these content trips, I wake up at 6am so that I can have time to myself before I'm overstimulated for the whole day, or else by the end of those trips, I want to kill myself because I'm so overstimulated.

[Kale Lowry]

I don't want to tell the whole context of the story that I'm about to tell. But I have seen Alessandra in a distraught morning state where she did not have enough time from the time that she woke up to the time that she was dealing with a problem. And the look on her face. I thought you were gonna kill me. Or I possibly was gonna kill you both.

[Alessandra]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Literally, like, woke up, titties running around, no bra on, like, just fresh eyes open.

[Kale Lowry]

And I'm like, what is going on? Why is this happening? Needs to deal with it. And Alessandra's titties just flap it. She's like, what's happening? And why is this going on this early in the morning?

[Alessandra]

Like, full ass, morning breath, like, just woke up, you know.

[Kale Lowry]

Like, we need hidden cameras in the Airbnb where we go for people to actually see the absolute chaos that transpires. Because I truly don't think that anybody would believe it and they would think that we were lying.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Like, I'm really curious. I want to know what people think it's like, when we're all together. Like, is people's perception of this, like, gang of hooligans that we have our together, or do they know we're gang of hooligans? You know what I mean?

[Kale Lowry]

I think it's probably like a 50, 50 split. I think they think that we're a gang of hooligans who can probably, like, make it happen, but we're still a.

[Alessandra]

Gang of hooligans, which that's true. We are a gang of hooligans who clearly make it happen. I mean, we're pumping out all these shows every single week. We're doing the Damn thing. But do we know what's going on? Of the time? Probably not. Like, I never know what's going on. I feel like. But it is what it is. We're doing it.

[Kale Lowry]

Like, I'll get a text sometimes, and it's like, hey, do you remember that you talked about this this week? And I'm like, what? What are you talking about? Like, no, I don't.

[Alessandra]

Huh.

[Kale Lowry]

I've recorded, like, nine hours this week. No, I do not.

[Alessandra]

And the episodes are interesting because as soon as I'm done and I hit stop, I don't remember a thing I just said.

[Kale Lowry]

Wait, really?

[Alessandra]

Yeah. At all? Like, you could be like, what did you just talk about? No idea.

[Kale Lowry]

Like, I just talked for a full hour and 20 minutes, and no idea what just came out of my mouth?

[Alessandra]

No clue. Because I could talk to a wall. Like, it. Genuinely, I'm in the right field. Like, if. If my kindergarten teacher could see me now, she'd be like, that is so good for her. Because I would get in trouble all the time for yapping.

[Kale Lowry]

Wait, that meme where it's like. And I know that you've seen it. It's like, for the people who got in trouble for talking in school, what are you doing now for a career?

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And I sent that to Kale, and I said, talking for a living.

[Alessandra]

Talking for a living and helping other people talk for a living. That's what I do.

[Kale Lowry]

Oh, my God. Wait. I really want to, like, petition the coffee combos community to start messaging Kale. And she won't know about this because she won't probably listen. Yeah, she won't start messaging Kale and tell her that you want to set up a Matt Pilates class. Like a collective kitty gang. Yeah, Matt Pilates. Because the way that I want to see several people who work with us, including Kale Lowry, do Pilates would make my life, like, truly my year.

[Alessandra]

Oh, yeah, Matt Pilates for sure. Because that reformer, I think. I don't know if she'd make it home. I don't know if I would make it home from a reformer class, honestly.

[Kale Lowry]

Wait, seriously?

[Alessandra]

Because it's too much. Moving parts. Like, I'm afraid I'm gonna fall off that thing.

[Kale Lowry]

Wait, I have to tell you something that I saw on People magazine, and it kind of relates to us, like, talking men right now, which are you, Ryan, if you're listening to this, this.

[Alessandra]

We'Re never talking about you, Ryan. We love you.

[Kale Lowry]

Doesn't apply to you. But it says woman learns that she's allergic to her husband, after years of trying to get pregnant.

[Alessandra]

Oh, to his sperm.

[Kale Lowry]

It says she never expected that two years into her marriage, the biggest challenge she and her husband would face would be biological. But while trying to conceive, she discovered her body was reacting to her husband Paul's DNA in a way that prevented pregnancy. The couple married in 2023, began trying for a baby, believing that it would happen quickly and easily. And then when a year passed without success, they turned to medical testing that initially revealed no clear answers. Doctors found nothing medically wrong with either of them, and they were ultimately told that they were dealing with unexplained infertility. Hoping to move forward, Alex and Paul decided to pursue ivf. But the first round was unsuccessful. As they prepared for another attempt, Alex felt something that just did not add up. She said, I just had to put the brakes on. She said that both of their bodies seem to be functioning normally. Searching for answers, the couples ordered an at home blood test and sent in their samples for analysis. The results revealed genetic predisposition that made Alex immuno. Immunologically.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, immunologically.

[Kale Lowry]

Immunologically incompatible with his DNA.

[Alessandra]

I didn't even know that was a thing.

[Kale Lowry]

Have you ever heard of such?

[Alessandra]

No. Like, I know that they just did research last year and studies show that the placenta is formed by a majority male DNA. Like the. If you have morning sickness, like the quality of your pregnancy comes down to the quality of your partner's sperm, which really. Yeah, yeah, placenta. They just did the studies, like the research just showed last year, which is really truly crazy. So that's why also Billy and I, I've been telling him like I am on a GLP1, I talk about this all the time on Vibin and I have pcos. So I'm on the process of like managing my hormones. I said, if I'm putting my body through hell and you're not doing shit to prep your body to give me the quality sperm as possible. When we start having kids, like, we're gonna have a problem. Like, not only do I have to sacrifice my body for, and I have to do all of these things prior to trying to get pregnant. Like, you gotta, you gotta do what you gotta do.

[Kale Lowry]

You know, I think it's so common for men to not think about it. Like, I can tell you whenever I was, you know, starting the process of getting pregnant, and I've talked about this pretty openly, that we got married in January and I was four and a half weeks pregnant by May on mother's day. So got pregnant very quickly but I was doing all of the things that I felt like I needed to do leading up to that thinking because I was hanging out with one of my best college girlfriends who told me that it took her some time to get pregnant. So her advice to me was like, if you want a baby within like the next year, year and a half, go ahead and start because you know, don't set yourself up for failure thinking that it's just going to happen on the first try. That's not common for everybody.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And so I think it was like two months or something and then I got the positive pregnancy test. I don't think that men think about like how much their stuff affects the pregnancy.

[Alessandra]

They don't and they really didn't have the research to their, to their defense. Even though people think I never defend men, they really didn't know that it created that much of a problem for women. But like I think it's common sense, you know what I mean? I also think it's like a solidarity thing, right? Like I talk about very openly on vibing and just in general that I am a cannabis user and it's legal in my state, so. And so is Billy. I said when I'm pregnant and listen, some people smoke when they use cannabis while they're pregnant. I'm not here to tell anybody what they're to do. I personally never will. I'm too anxiety ridden. I, if anything were to be wrong with my baby at all, I would blame myself. And I'm not saying that would be the reason. I'm not judging anybody, but I know myself and I know that it just wouldn't work for me. So I will not use cannabis while I'm pregnant at all. I told Billy I don't want him either and people are going to have like varying opinions of that. But I think it's solidarity. Like if I have to not do something in general and also sacrifice my body on top of birthing your big headed baby and breastfeeding and taking care of them and being the default parent for minimum two years because let's all be real, that's what it is, then the least you could do is stop smoking for nine months.

[Kale Lowry]

You know, listen, that's so interesting that you bring that up because I have had so many girlfriends just over the years, different life phases, you know, not all in the same track, but all have children now and I have gotten some rogue ass text messages from girlfriends talking about how they feel so offended that their husband is now going to the gym and whatever. While they're sitting at home pregnant and, like, do not like it and want them to gain the weight while they're.

[Alessandra]

I get that, too. I do get that. Because it's like, dude, I'm sacrificing my body for you. And, like, you're out here getting fit now. For what?

[Kale Lowry]

For who?

[Alessandra]

For who? It's like when they get a haircut and they're out here thawing and bopping and running errands, suddenly, where are you going?

[Kale Lowry]

Wait, what?

[Alessandra]

Have you ever heard that, like, when men get a haircut suddenly, that's when they, like, want to run their errands and they're, like, looking good and they're feeling themselves, and you're like, get right home. Because a haircut for a man, a haircut and a beard trim can change a man. Like, how they look.

[Kale Lowry]

Have you ever seen. Have you ever seen some of the photos on social media where it's like, make sure you see a man, like, without his beard before you commit to him.

[Alessandra]

Yes. And I did not do that. And I will say people should do that. And it's not that Billy's ugly. It's that he looks like he is an infant. Like, I. One day I came home from working 11 hours. I was a nanny at the time, and I was working with two infants, so it was just, you know, a lot. I come home, I walk in completely shaved. I go, why the would you do that to me? Why would you do that to me? And he's like, it's my face. I'm like, the changes. Any warning on top of you're going to try and kiss me with that screw, like, scruff and stubble. He cannot shave past a certain, like, length. It has to always be a certain length. Has to be long enough that it doesn't hurt me because I get, like, broken out. I have really sensitive skin. It hurts me. I'm like, get away from. I had. I was like, who is a stranger in my fucking house? I did not like it.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay, Maybe it's a toxic trait, and obviously several of my situations have not worked out, but if you do not have facial hair.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Don't come my way because I immediately don't trust you if you look. And no offense to anybody who has, like, this career, but it's just something that I've always heard, like, in my life growing up, if you look like a car salesman, and I'm talking, like, let's take it back to Matilda, like, her dad.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Like, the stereotypical, like, slimy like what they used to depict as like a.

[Kale Lowry]

Car sale, but yes, like that's what I'm thinking of. If you are fresh shaven and you are using aftershave and you start walking my way immediately.

[Alessandra]

Don't, don't turn around.

[Kale Lowry]

Like I love a good now I don't like it looking like all raggedy.

[Alessandra]

No, we're not talking Duck Dynasty.

[Kale Lowry]

No, we're not talking that. I'm talking like a good length facial hair, like kept clean.

[Alessandra]

Yes, agreed. And clean. Like Billy has a routine bomb oil. Oh, wow. Yeah, because I made him. He did not come to me like that. Okay. Because I'm like, dude, that's on your face like you're sweating. Your food probably drops in there. Do you know what I mean?

[Kale Lowry]

All right, kitties, we're going to take a quick second to talk about Little Spoon. If you are a parent, I know that you are exhausted and sometimes nervous, especially the people who are new parents and having to decode long ingredient list or blindly just trusting brands without much transparency, it can feel like a lot. And parents should not have to bend over backwards to understand what they're feeding their newborn. And that is where Little Spoon stands out. They're explicit about what's in their organic grass fed whole milk infant formula, how it's sourced and how each batch is safely tested. And to back that up, they publish their testing results right on their site. Little Spoon is built to be a feeding partner from day one with expert crafted recipes for babies, toddlers and big kids, pediatrician backed guidance and a community of parents just like you. It's nutrition for every stage of babies and kids development already thought through and delivered to your door. And when peace of mind show up like that, it is truly worth holding on to. Seriously, I could not recommend Little Spoon more. Their formula is modeled after breast milk to be gentle on tummies and easy to digest. If formula is part of your feeding journey right now, Little Spoon makes that choice feel less heavy. Their organic grass fed whole milk infant formula is a complete nutrition recipe modeled after breast milk. And everything is openly shared on little spoon.com from sourcing to ingredients and to safety testing. Try a Little Spoon formula with your two can trial pack. Buy one, get one free. That's $30 for two cans. Which is great if you're easing into the transition. That's L I T T L E S p o o n.com Try formula. Wait, can we talk about a pet peeve? Speaking of beards. Yes, it's grounds for divorce. True. Okay, if you have a man that cleans his beard up in the bathroom and he does not rinse out what he cut, if that's the right word, into the sink. And then he doesn't rinse out the tool that he used and then puts it in to the drawer. And now there's all those little like pube looking hairs hanging around. Immediately you're getting an eviction notice.

[Alessandra]

Like, do you have working eyeballs? That's. I genuinely ask Billy that question often because it's concerning, like some of the things that he claims he doesn't see. Right? Like, oh, I didn't see that there. What do you mean you didn't see it? Like, how did you not see all these whiskers all over my sink? So we have two sinks and then we also have separate drawers. So I don't know what going on in his drawers. Thank God I know what's going on in my drawers. I don't look, but the shaving all over the place, I can't. And it like, like gets everywhere.

[Kale Lowry]

It does. It gets everywhere. It's like in the growl in the floor in the bathroom, my towels.

[Alessandra]

Oh my God, it's everywhere.

[Kale Lowry]

And it's just like, can you just have some couth? Like, no. Who raised you to be like that? And to your point, like, I know your eyeballs saw that, but like, every.

[Alessandra]

Time I say, like, did you not see that? He literally says no. And I'm like, are you lying or did you really not see it? It's like when you watch them, like, go look in the pantry or in the fridge. And then he's, it's not in there. And I know for a fact, because I'm visualizing exactly where the thing is in my fridge. I know exactly where it is. And I'm always like, if I get up and I find it on the first look, I'm going to be so mad. Use your eyes. Look up. There it is.

[Kale Lowry]

I'm saying I'm hitting you with it. If I find it and you knew I directed you to exactly where it was, you're getting hit with it. It could be a mozzarella stick for all I care.

[Alessandra]

I'm over it. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not doing it anymore. That's what I suggest for every woman. I'm just not doing it anymore. If I tell him to do something and he asks me a question, I'm like, figure it out. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm tired.

[Kale Lowry]

Wait. Speaking of relationships, I know that it has Been brought to my attention that there have been wild thoughts on what's going on in my personal life on various different apps and websites. No one knows what's going on in my personal life.

[Alessandra]

Yep.

[Kale Lowry]

I cannot speak about it right now. There would be legal implications for me doing that.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And when I can speak about it, I fully believe plan to. I just need to protect myself in my piece through the process of what is going on. And when there is clarity in that situation, then I will address all of those things. However, everything's fine in Chris Lee Lansman Campbell land. Yeah, everything's fine.

[Alessandra]

Everything's fine. I think my. A lot of the times I often wonder, like, would it. We went. I went through this on, like, the kill end last year, right. Where it's like, do you decide to not talk about something until you've fully gone through the process? You've healed, you've processed through it, and then you talk about it, and then people know that something's going on because y' all can't have anything private. Even if you don't talk about it, somehow, some way it comes out right. So then they're constantly accusing you of lying or not talking about something. So then you choose to be forthcoming and as transparent as possible with what's going on in real time as you're working to figure it out. And then you get shit on for that, too. So it's just complicated. It's like, what would you like then? Because we've tried it on the back end so many different ways, and honestly, the real answer is, is you can't make everybody happy. And at the end of the day, these are two human beings that are figuring out how to create a life together. And however that looks is none of anybody's business. And I think that people need to be respectful about what you share and also understand that you're processing it in real time, and that's what people are watching, and that's difficult. But I give you grace.

[Kale Lowry]

You know, there are also. I'm sorry, I. I'm gonna pause for a second because I told you, you were well aware that I got Covid. And then I got, like. Thought it was upper respiratory something. Come to find out, flu. And have been navigating that all weekend. So I still have, like, all the drainage and, like, congestion going on, and it just makes you feel so gross. You know what I mean? Like, it just. It's, like, nasty. But back to what you were saying, like, I completely agree with you. And we're never going to make every Single person happy. There are reasons that stuff is done. There's nothing that is ever done, like, on a whim or, like, without thought behind something. And I also want to be mindful, and I want everybody else to be mindful that there are other parents that are involved in the situation and legal implications for certain things.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

And I promise, when I have the go ahead, and I've told every single person that is involved in the situation when I have the go ahead, I'm not going to be a gatekeeper.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. That's the thing, is that in the end, when things are said and done, you all do always get the full story. It might not be on the timeline that you guys are expecting, which I always struggle with, like, I'm a nosy bitch. It's like when people go on Facebook and they're like, prayers, please, and they don't tell you why, or, you know, that person who's been married since high school and they finally got a divorce, they've been waiting for, and they talk about it all until that point, and you want to know what's going on. But I also understand that it's none of my fucking business at the end of the day. And to, like, push and poke and prod people is where it's an issue. You can be naturally, organically curious. You can be respectful and curious because you guys do talk about your lives. It's obvious that people are going to have their opinions. Right? That's. That is. The cons of this situation is that when you put yourself out there, you are opening yourself up to other people, being able to discuss your life. And that is not an easy thing. And that's why this job is not for everybody. It really isn't. You have to have a degree, incredibly tough skin, but you guys always get the answers. You really do. I know because I know what's going on, and I'm most of the time producing it. So, like, you always get the answers. You do. It's just not always in the timeline that you want.

[Kale Lowry]

Well, and I think that people view it immediately. Like, when something goes down, it's like, oh, there's a breakup, and, like, they're at odds and whatever. It's like, no. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna, like, walk a fine line here whenever I say this. There are other people involved. And if you have ever dated or been in a relationship with someone that has children with someone else, there is a fine line that has to be walked. And there are things going on that I cannot at this current Time, speak on. But I also will not be silenced when it is the time to speak on it.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, that's the hard thing, too, because I think a lot of the times, too, that when we, like, you guys, finally do talk, they don't always like what you guys have to say. And it's again, it's like, you can't please everybody. And I always have to. I tell this to kill all the time, too, that the majority is positive, and we have to remember that. That the negativity that we're seeing or feeling or feels like is so loud, really is the minority of people who support you. And it's the trolls. And it's whatever, like, okay, you're the trolls, but you do have. You guys have a very big, great, supportive, loving community. And I see it. I do see it on the back end where they will ride for y'. All. They will follow you in all of your projects. They'll make sure that you guys are good. And I do. I always want to acknowledge that, because there are a lot of riders for you guys. There are. I mean, this is. This podcast has been going for how long? 12 years.

[Kale Lowry]

It's been so long. 2017. We've been doing this podcast almost 10 years. I just think that what's currently going on and, you know, some stuff like.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

On the back end privately, but I think people would honestly be really mind blown at some of the stuff. And I do think that if we're gonna be on a podcast and we're sharing our life, that. I don't know if O is the right word.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, I know.

[Kale Lowry]

But I always want to come on here and talk and, like, say what the T is and, like, what's going on, because if it helps somebody that could potentially be going through a similar thing and they find some comfort in what's going on, like, I always want to be able to provide that. But people have to understand that when attorneys are involved and there's legal implications, like, you got to be real careful.

[Alessandra]

And also children, like, at the end of the day, you're both mothers. And I think that, like we talked about in the beginning of the episode, moms, women in general, but especially moms, don't always pour into themselves. So when you're going through something like relationship struggles, shit at work, whatever the case may be, you don't always have the luxury of working through it in the most structured and healthy way that you possibly could if you weren't focused on taking care of somebody else and keeping them alive. So to just put it into perspective of when you're thinking about background trauma, child rearing, you're thinking about all of the stuff you're going on in your everyday life. The world in general, as a society, in a populace is imploding. What the fuck is going on in general? Not just with us. Us in general. So like to have a sense of grace not just with the people that you interact with online, but with yourselves too. Because I think people are just holding everybody, including themselves, to a lot higher expectations than they need to. And that is, that should be expected right now for what everyone's going through.

[Kale Lowry]

It's so crazy because I remember texting you.

[Alessandra]

I don't know.

[Kale Lowry]

I, I didn't text anybody over this weekend because I was literally laid out.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

But I think it was the weekend prior to that and I text you and I said, said literally what the is going on in the world? And then yesterday Kale status on her Instagram was like social media is the.

[Alessandra]

Wild, wild west right now.

[Kale Lowry]

Let's take a quick second to talk about Rocket Money. Kayl and I were just texting about Rocket Money the other day and Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. I also love how the app consolidates checkings and savings loans and investments into a single dashboard to give users a clear view of their financial picture. Rocket Money is so great for so many different things. I've been able to create a personalized budget. Right now I am having people come and look at my basement so that I can do a build out and this is going to be the organization that I need and it's going to be able to help me save for this project. I am so excited. If you guys have not heard of Rocket Money, you definitely need to check it out. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join@rocket money.com Coffee Combos. That's rocketmoney.com/coffee combos. Rocket money.com/coffee combos.

[Alessandra]

And I think like, because there just so much misunderstanding from what I'm seeing, like misinterpretation of the small amount of facts that people have. And it goes across the board to you not just for your situation but like, like kills anybody who has drama like that happens every day to people. They just don't have to deal with it on the Internet, you know?

[Kale Lowry]

Exactly. And it's like I wish that there was a little bit more grace because I feel like I extend so Much grace to people. And when I read some of the stuff, sometimes I even have grace for the person that wrote it because I'm like, okay, well, obviously, like, that hit them in a place of maybe a place of hurt or something that they're working through. And so I want to be mindful of that and just be like, yeah, it kind of hurts or, like, stings a little bit. But at the same time, they're processing and listening to something that we said and processing it through their eyes for something that they have either gone through or currently going through.

[Alessandra]

And I think that's what people, like, in general really need to keep in mind, just when they're interacting with people across the board, that our perspectives of life, how we're going to view things, are always going to be really different because we all have different lived experiences that make up our point of view in how we see the world. And I think that what we're going through as a society is a direct result of people not keeping that in mind and us living so individualistic and thinking that the way that we do things is the right way and the only way to do something. And I. I'm like, I struggle with that personally. As eldest first gen daughter, I think I know everything, and the right way to do things is the way that I would do them. And that's just not the case. Case. It's just not the case. And I struggle with that in my personal life, like we've talked about that I struggle with, like, what to give my opinion on, what not to give my opinion on, how to give my opinion. Because sometimes I'm way too blunt and I don't mean to be. And it always comes from a place of, like, I want the best for whoever I'm talking to. So I think we all just in general can do better at that. Not just, like, an audience perspective, 1000%.

[Kale Lowry]

Speaking of crazy. And we see this stuff like, like, going on on social media all the time. Right? But I ran across this story, and I initially ran across it on Facebook, and then I saw it being talked about on Tick Tock. And I was like, wow, this is insane. And exactly why Keel and I have such a hard time when it comes to, like, GoFundMes, because you never know what to trust, right?

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

So it says, this Florida woman has been accused of posing on donation sites rights as a father of a Houston teen who was killed in the Texas flood.

[Alessandra]

What is wrong? Like, what is wrong with people? Why would you do that?

[Kale Lowry]

So it says, according to court records, they're confirming that this person that's posing is 28 years old. And she has been charged with two counts of online impersonation. Online impersonation. According to a detective, she made a GoFundMe page and a shot spot fun page pretending to be the father of a Houston 19 year old who died in the Texas floods at Camp mystic, it says. Records say that the girl who had passed away, the father alerted authorities about this fake GoFundMe campaign that was using his name and his daughter's photo and the entire bio of the tragedy. And the page was allegedly asking the public for donations to some support him. Detectives later learned about a spot fund campaign that was also using her and her father's names. It says the detective requested records from both platforms which had allegedly listed this 28 year old girl and she had been the creator of both campaigns. And both pages were reportedly created back in July, less than a week after the floods took place in Central Texas.

[Alessandra]

This, I, I don't know, I don't understand. Like how do you think that it's a good idea or like how do you get in your brain to try to capitalize off of somebody else's tragedy like that?

[Kale Lowry]

It's just, it's so crazy and like not only is this horrible that she would be using a victim of like such a tragic situation and preying on the family, right? But there are people who literally make up complete fake GoFundMes of stuff that like does not even exist. It does Say zero tolerance for bad actors. GoFundMe says what they're saying. In a statement, GoFundMe said GoFundMe has zero tolerance for the misuse of our platform and bad actors who seek to take advantage of the generosity of others. Our team has acted quickly to remove the fundraiser back in July, refunded donors and ban the account for Future fundraising on GoFundMe. Thanks to our trust and safety procedures. At no point did this organizer have access to the total five raised.

[Alessandra]

Good. Well, and that's the thing about GoFundMe and stuff like that. GoFundMe particularly, they are really strict and they will refund people if they do figure out that it's a scam. So I do think that's good. I am, I donate constantly. Like I'll get like on the weekends I'll be like scrolling tick tock and I see someone's like story and I'm like constantly donating willy nilly and like, like I really should do a little bit better to vet situations. But I Just I don't. Because it's so far out of my realm of possibility, like where my brain could get to. I just don't imagine that that's what people are doing. And I can't even fathom getting to that point. Like, I genuinely am so concerned about people's morality these days. Like, what is going on?

[Kale Lowry]

Well, there's some people on there that will like completely pose that they have like this terminal illness. It's almost like people should be diagnosed with like munch housing.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Literally.

[Kale Lowry]

Right. Like it's, it's so insane to me. And it's like it's taking away from the people who actually need the help and support that are using that platform in the right way. And I can't stand that.

[Alessandra]

Yes. Because then people are going to be hesitant to donate to actually like to people who deserve it and need the actual help and aren't lying because then they're like, oh well, I can't trust that they're actually needing it or in need. And that I just saw the saddest GoFundMe. This woman found out that her husband was abusing their children sexually and she caught him in the act. And she was a single mother and so she's like, I know, I know. So awful. And so she's like on the Internet and she's like, she's like, I'm ashamed that I have to ask for help. And I'm like, nobody should be ashamed to ask for help in those situations. Like, you can tell as you're hearing her story that that's real. Like you can tell in her pain, in her voice, in her eyes, that that is a real story. And she was asking for help because her husband had taken out like a second loan on their house and she didn't know that and she has to pay that up of all of these bills on her own. And like when you have a gap in your resume as a stay at home mom.

[Kale Lowry]

Yes.

[Alessandra]

Not always easy to get another job. And just in general right now, in this economy, the world work market is not good at all. So it's, it's sad. That's really up. That one broke my heart.

[Kale Lowry]

That is absolutely horrific. But to your point, that was a real story. And it's people like this girl who's out here using it as a cash grab. So I don't know if you remember when I was talking on the crossover episode that we did not too long ago back, I think we recorded it, what in like September, and then it aired in October, November. That Three part series.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Okay, so the girl that did some of the diabolical that she did to me that was discussed in that crossover, she started hitting me up, asking me, since I had a large social media following, could I post a GoFundMe for her dog that was sick. And allegedly, allegedly, she posted a GoFundMe. Raised thousands and thousands of dollars. I never posted it because I was skeptical of GoFundMe at that point anyway. And I mean, this was years ago, like 2018 probably.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, yeah, like a long time ago.

[Kale Lowry]

And I was like, no, I can't post it. And quite frankly, I lied. And I was like, my management doesn't allow me to like post stuff like that just because I didn't want to say, right. And she raised thousands and thousands of dollars, never got that dog help, and went and bought a brand new Lexus.

[Alessandra]

What is wrong with people?

[Kale Lowry]

Why is that not crazy? I'm just like, what the fuck? Wait. Okay, let me tell you what I've been doing for the last couple of days since I've been laying in the bed sick and then cleaning in the interim. So there is a show on Netflix and I think it's called like, like True Crime Stories or something like that. I'll look it up and then have us post it. But do you remember the girl? She was a cheerleader from I think Ohio. Skyler Richardson.

[Alessandra]

Yes.

[Kale Lowry]

Do you remember that?

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

So we just watched the episode. They did a whole episode on her and watched it last night. And I followed that case to some degree, but not as heavily as some other things that I followed. So I was kind of like remembering the stuff as I was watching it. And that case is absolutely insane and I don't know what to believe. Like, it's living in my mind, rent free. And I was telling David, he was like, I don't know, like, maybe it wasn't malicious. Maybe I'm like, no. Like this girl was so pregnant, had the baby, went and got interviewed with the police, immediately denied all the stuff. Then in the interviews you see her saying, well, maybe the baby was breathing. And I squeezed it really tight so it might have killed it. Then she proceeds to say how she took the baby out in her parents backyard, buried the baby, then admits in another interview that she used a lighter to light the area on fire. And when you watch the parts of the trial that they share, the defense keeps saying, well, it was false confession. And I wanted to ask you what you felt about false confession and how real you think that is. Because I have heard that being under that amount of stress and pressure for long periods of time that sometimes you will just say something to get out of it.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, I think it really is situational, because I do. I do see that. I see, like, if you've been held in a holding cell for days, they're not giving you food, water. Sometimes they're doing, you know, aggressive tactics and they're trying to coerce a confession from you. I don't think that was the case in this situation.

[Kale Lowry]

But this girl and. And what I was saying to David, I said, it just doesn't make sense to me. I feel like it was all somewhat methodical because she was texting the boyfriend and they were showing the text where she was like, I'm so happy. And she was taking a picture of her stomach and she was like, my belly's back and I'm so happy. And like, I can't wait to talk to you tomorrow to tell you everything. And on and on. It's like, well, do you think her.

[Alessandra]

Mom really didn't know she was pregnant? Because I don't believe that either. How.

[Kale Lowry]

I don't necessarily believe it. So they were talking at the beginning about how she had an eating disorder. Right. And then it shows that, you know, she's getting ready to go to her senior prom, and it shows a screenshot of text messages from her mom. And she says, slow down. It says something to the effect, don't quote, but something to the effect, slow down on your eating or you won't fit in your dress. But then in the interview with the mom and dad, she's talking about how the daughter had a, you know, this eating disorder and how they had attempted to get her help and all of this stuff. But that doesn't add up, like, knowing that your child has an eating disorder. And then you're sending them a text saying, slow down on your eating or you won't fit in your dress.

[Alessandra]

Yeah.

[Kale Lowry]

Immediately that was a red flag to me in regards to her because, like.

[Alessandra]

Okay, you're saying you're gonna grow anyway because you're pregnant, so slow it down on eating for quote, unquote, to. Right. Because, I mean, we will take that, like, to the extreme because you're not going to fit in your dress. And she didn't want other people to know she was pregnant. I don't know that her mom knew what her daughter's plan was, but I do think they both knew they were pregnant. If the mom did not. Was not have confirmation, she had to have an inkling like, you. You Know you're a mom. Mom's have instinct. My mom, when I was in college, there was something that happened to me. She knew something was wrong. She didn't know what was wrong. She told me she woke up in the middle of the night. She knew something had happened and that's instinct.

[Kale Lowry]

But do okay. And I'm asking other parents who are listening to this it go in that episode and I'm going to find it and find the title of it. So if anybody wants to watch, I'm pretty much like done with a whole series that covers like various different cases that have been heavily followed.

[Alessandra]

But.

[Kale Lowry]

But the mom says that when she realizes that her daughter is sexually active, she decides that she's going to take her to the doctor. So she takes her to the doctor and she said that she doesn't go in with her, she goes in by herself. And then Skyler comes out crying, invisibly upset, but claims that she took her to the doctor to get birth control. At that point, as a parent, it. And I'm just asking if my daughter, I don't have one, but if I did and I took her to a doctor's appointment to go in and get birth control and she came out visibly shaken and upset, I'm going to start questioning that immediately.

[Alessandra]

Yeah, because like in general, even if she wasn't getting birth control, my kid came out of a doctor's office crying. I'd be like, what the hell just happened in that doctor's office?

[Kale Lowry]

This because putting, putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Mom knows she's sexually active, takes her to doctor to get on a pill, doesn't go in with her daughter, comes out visibly shaken, upset and crying uncontrollably. And you didn't think anything was going on?

[Alessandra]

I don't believe it. I think that some people are purposefully like ignorant to things. I think the same could be said when people know like their partners are cheating on them and they don't trying like, do you know what I mean? I think we always know, especially a mom. I just don't believe that she is a mom herself. I mean there are some people who do not look pregnant well into their pregnancies or ever. Like there's that show like I didn't know I was pregnant. And those people you show, they show videos and clips and they did not look pregnant at all. But she looked pregnant.

[Kale Lowry]

I agree. Now do I believe that the dad was looped in on all this stuff?

[Alessandra]

Stuff?

[Kale Lowry]

I don't necessarily believe that. I don't think that he knew a lot of what was going on. I do believe that maybe there could have been a false confession on the burning because the person that does, like the autopsy, reporter, whatever, said that there was visible signs of burning at a hundred percent, like, was confirming that, and then walked that back, back weeks or months later saying that there actually wasn't signs of that. But the police already had the confession from her of saying that she thinks that she might have burned the body and that she thinks that she used a lighter and she didn't know how high the flame was on and on. What I could not fathom was watching the verdict of that and how she was only guilty of tampering with a corpse. That was the only thing she was found guilty on. And she got, I think, three years of, like, supervised something.

[Alessandra]

Yeah. Probation. Yep.

[Kale Lowry]

And I'm like, this is a baby.

[Alessandra]

And I think, I think that baby was breathing. And I think. I think she did kill the baby. Whether she knew what was going on, whether she didn't, whether she was in shock and did something because she was emotional, hormonal, whatever the case may be, whatever it was, I think that baby was alive. And I think she ended that child's life. And like, if the baby was born, she clearly did not want the baby if she was saying she was happy after. Right?

[Kale Lowry]

Yep.

[Alessandra]

So it just. It doesn't add up to me at all. And like, if you had a baby and. And the baby was dead already, why would you try to hide the evidence? Like, that part doesn't even make any sense to me. A live baby is a consequence, and you have to. Are then going to have to deal with it. Right. If the baby actually was ill or not breathing when it was born, why would you then try to hide that? Because, okay, you're trying to hide the pregnancy because you don't want to deal with the consequences. The baby's gone. You didn't do anything wrong. Quote, unquote. It was born, still born or had birth complications, whatever. We'll never know. Do you know what I mean? None of it makes sense.

[Kale Lowry]

Why wouldn't you have called for help? And then the craziest thing was that the only thing that made me believe that the parents might not know was because she went to the doctor after the fact that she had given birth to the baby, did all the things that she did, confessed to the doctor that she had given birth to the baby. That's how the police got involved, because that doctor reported that. That to local law enforcement. Then her parents got involved, took her to the police department to be interviewed, but allegedly didn't know why she was being interviewed. And there was no attorney. I'm telling you right now, I don't care If I was 16, 17, 18 years old, if I did something like that and the police started calling, I'm gonna know that that's what they're calling about.

[Alessandra]

Maybe she just didn't know that what she did was illegal. Like maybe she in her brain convinced herself that she didn't harm her baby. Because I think our brains are really strong. I think they can do that. And then she didn't know that getting rid of the baby by burying the baby, burning the baby, whatever way was illegal or as illegal as it is or was going to get her into as much as it is because like mental illness that and also like this is controversial a little bit, right? When you are raised super shelter and you're not given a proper conversation or education about sexual health, et cetera. I don't know if that was the case, if her mom was taking her to go on birth control. Right? You don't know certain things. You are really ignorant and not always making decisions with the full information. And I was really sheltered. So that's just coming from me. I'm not judging anybody how they their children do you know what I mean? But I do think because I was sheltered, I put myself in a lot of situations and environments that were dangerous because I just didn't know that they were dangerous because I didn't live a life because I was really sheltered. So I think it just, it could go both ways. But again, I in my heart of hearts think that baby was alive when it was born.

[Kale Lowry]

I 1000% agree. I've got to jump because I am recording the Southern Tea with Tyler Baltiera and I'm super excited about that. Thank you guys so much for joining us today and always supporting our show. Please subscribe and review on the Apple podcast, appreciate app, follow and rate on Spotify or listen wherever you get your pods. For our latest merch, visit CoffeeConvostPodcast.com to shop full video episodes are available on Kale's Patreon at Patreon.com Kalelory don't forget to follow us on Instagram and join our Facebook group to connect with us in our community. We hope you guys have a fantastic week and we'll talk to you soon. Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Alessandra]

This is mindset free. This is the mantra free.

[Kale Lowry]

This is the with movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 51st date. This is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the fairly odd Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free.

[Alessandra]

Huzzah.

[Kale Lowry]

Pluto TV stream now pay Never.

[Alessandra]

You're welcome.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

This thing on I'm Kaitlyn Bristowe, host of off the Vine Podcast, where I get real, maybe a little too real sometimes, with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor Franchise and beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness.

[Kale Lowry]

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

Nikki Glaser, Wells Adams, Elise Myers.

[Alessandra]

Just like in this, like, business jacket. Like, I would love some tacos.

[Kaitlyn Bristowe]

Heidi d', Amelio, Big Brother's Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened and we're gonna get through it. What I do and so many more. So come hang out with us. Hear ridiculous confessions and get a little vulnerable. Because you know what? We're all just floating on this weird little planet together. Follow rate and review off the Vine Podcast Wherever you listen to your podcast.