← Coffeez with Joe Shalaby
Coffeez with Joe Shalaby
Love, Legacy & Jiu-Jitsu ft. Ryron & Victoria Gracie | Coffeez for Closers with Joe Shalaby
00:33:37
Loading summary
Transcript97 lines
- [00:00]
Interviewer
Now you guys are the Gracie family. What's it been like growing up as a Gracie? Like that's just. It's a shocking thing to be sitting amongst such greatness, but I just want to see what it feels like.
- [00:11]
Rener Gracie
Yeah. People often ask if there's a lot of pressure for being a Gracie.
- [00:19]
Interviewer
Gracie family. Thank you so much for joining us today. I got a couple quick questions before we dive into it. This is what I ask every single person who comes on the show. What's your guys morning routine?
- [00:28]
Rener Gracie
What's your morning routine, Victoria?
- [00:30]
Mackenzie Dern
Three egg whites and a piece of toast with a mix of a protein milk with coffee. And then I go straight to the gym.
- [00:37]
Rener Gracie
So I don't do coffee, but I do cold plunge. So I jump in, I don't know, it's probably 43 degrees. And I do that a few times a week for like 90 seconds. And then I go do whatever the kids need, which is usually making them breakfast and kids stuff while she works out.
- [00:53]
Interviewer
Nice. And then you go. You still train after Jiu Jitsu after you work out?
- [00:58]
Mackenzie Dern
No.
- [00:59]
Rener Gracie
Depends on the day.
- [01:01]
Mackenzie Dern
I start the day though, at 6:30 in the morning is always. It has to start the gym. So before I even handle the kids or see anybody, I wake up and I'm out of the house before anyone wakes up.
- [01:09]
Rener Gracie
And she's a full time mom, as well as doing other jobs, dancing and teaching Jiu Jitsu. Mom is still. She really is a mom. I on the other hand, do Jiu Jitsu every day, morning and night, and I'm very fortunate to have her in my corner to allow me to do that. But so yes, my morning routine does incorporate some Jiu Jitsu as well as my afternoon routine and my evening routine.
- [01:33]
Interviewer
Nice. Now you guys are the Gracie family. What's it been like growing up as a Gracie? Like, that's just. It's a shocking thing to be sitting amongst such greatness, but I just want to see what it feels like.
- [01:45]
Rener Gracie
Yeah. People often ask if there's a lot of pressure for being a Gracie. And I would say that when I was very young, there might have been a little bit of pressure because I grew up amongst giants that looked up to my grandfather, my father, my uncles and everybody. But then I soon realized that the expectations of the elders towards me were not very. They weren't as high as I thought they were. It was pretty simple to please my grandfather, my father, my uncles, practice Jiu Jitsu, make healthy choices, be a respectful person. So it was very easy. So pretty soon into my Teenage years, the pressures of being in my family pretty much went away, and it's been very, very nice and very comfortable for me. Obviously, I have to work very hard and train jiu jitsu all the time, but I really feel safe in my family to do jiu jitsu and exist the way that I choose to exist. I don't feel this pressure to fight mixed martial arts, to fight in the ufc, to fight mma, which quite often people in the family might feel like, you know what, we have to go out there and fight to prove the family name. That's not quite the case. I feel like I have to teach jiu jitsu to people around the world who want to learn to defend themselves, but that's a much lighter pressure than having to step into the cage. And I respect everybody who does fight professionally because. But I'm very fortunate to just go out there, not just because it's not a very simple thing, but to share jiu jitsu and give people the skills to defend themselves. It's a blessing that I have that.
- [03:18]
Mackenzie Dern
But to just give you some insight as to someone who married into that and watched and heard the stories of how they grew up, for him, it's very normal. But for us to look at them and be like, you guys were just obsessed. You were obsessed with jiu jitsu, and it's like you were raised in a beautiful family that had something they were obsessed over, has physical and health benefits, and makes you a lethal weapon. So, really, we were raised in the most obsessively amazing family, really. And that's the beauty of it. Like, obsession can be such a good thing for them.
- [03:48]
Rener Gracie
Yeah, I love it. It's the best thing ever. But no doubt there are some challenges for some people in the family, but I handled it all very well, and I'm grateful.
- [03:59]
Interviewer
Now, I was actually going to ask you, what was it like marrying into the Gracie family?
- [04:03]
Mackenzie Dern
Well, that's a complex question, because.
- [04:05]
Rener Gracie
Give us the short answer.
- [04:07]
Mackenzie Dern
Well, there. So there is, of course, the beauty of, like, wow, these guys are disciplined. They have a way of being and a way of eating and a way of thinking. And when you look at that, you have so much reverence for, like, this is what you've built based on this. Now, the hard part is every person who goes into any relationship comes with their own thoughts and culture and way of being. And the hardest part has been how do we blend our two worlds to still yield something our value systems share honor. Both his legacy, but also my want for maybe, you know, the renegade of like let's try this new thing or let's be bigger and better or improve the legacy to its maximum potential.
- [04:48]
Rener Gracie
And that's one of the values of getting married and any relationship, when someone comes into your life, you have a choice. You can completely close them out or you can be open to learning from them. And I always say that she is, she's an amazing student because she has a natural ability of being a dancer, growing up dancing. But she's also probably one of my greatest teachers in her very open mindedness and just challenging of things that I might be. So, like tunnel vision on. It has to be this way. She questions them, which hopefully her ability to question them comes from her feeling of safety within us. So when she questions things I don't, I do my best not to take it very personal that she's questioning a family way of life, but instead she's trying to help me grow. And we can make slight adjustments for our family of four.
- [05:40]
Interviewer
Now you say Jiu Jitsu is not really fighting, it's more like dancing. Describe that to me.
- [05:46]
Rener Gracie
Yeah, so when people say Jiu Jitsu is fighting and the analogy you gave is that it's more like dancing the back and forth.
- [05:55]
Interviewer
Yeah.
- [05:56]
Rener Gracie
So there's two Jiu Jitsu, there's the practice of Jiu jitsu amongst her and I, we can grapple together and we can flow back and forth and help each other and give each other indicators. And it's, it's, it's more of a, it's a little bit less focused on self defense. It's just us moving together. Even though those skills will help you in a street fight because you're more comfortable with your body, your, you know, weight distribution, your controls and so on, and submissions and escapes. But big picture, Jiu Jitsu is an art of self defense. That's what it started as. It's for survival. The martial arts are here to help keep us safe. Now, jiu jitsu being music, I don't think of it being music when I think of it for self defense. For self defense. I think of it as, you know, self preservation. Someone approaches you in the street and they're verbally attacking you. How can you use verbal de escalation? How can you talk to them and get yourself out of the situation if they attack you, how to defend yourself? You don't have to hurt them, just keep yourself safe. So it's not music in that sense, but you're right amongst friends. There is a cool back and forth that can happen. There's a Flow that exists. And quite often students of ours who are professionals in every realm, they say, man, there's nothing like Jiu Jitsu. The ability to escape my thoughts and your really present moments. Cause you get into that music, you get into that dance. Dance the dance.
- [07:26]
Mackenzie Dern
It's the dance.
- [07:27]
Interviewer
Mark Zuckerberg refers to Jiu Jitsu as human chess. What do you think about that?
- [07:32]
Rener Gracie
Yeah, I think a lot of people said that before Mark Zuckerberg. But yes, there is the psychological, the intellectual part. The Jiu Jitsu is a battle. And I think that it's cool to say it's like chess. Cause chess is so, like, I don't know what is chess?
- [07:47]
Interviewer
It's very, very forward thinking. You know, it's. You have to be one step ahead. Very strategic.
- [07:53]
Rener Gracie
Yeah. But it's also, it's a very intellectual. It's a very, it's revered. It's revered. Like, it's a revered game that if.
- [08:00]
Mackenzie Dern
You'Re good at chess, oh, that must say something about you. And so they want to equate it to a physical, like 100% because it is.
- [08:08]
Rener Gracie
And people often say, like, you're playing chess and I'm over here playing checkers. That's an analogy that I've heard blue belts and lower belts, so say about black belts, which is kind of cool. The black belt, of course, loves hearing that. But yeah, I think it's fun. I don't think, I don't say it too often, but yeah, it's a nice little saying.
- [08:26]
Interviewer
Now, you guys have said before that the real power of Jiu Jitsu is what it teaches about emotional control. And we actually talked about that outside. When did that actually come up outside of the dojo?
- [08:40]
Rener Gracie
Emotional control. Do you have any thoughts on that?
- [08:43]
Mackenzie Dern
I'm gonna let you start this one. And I might add it at the end.
- [08:45]
Rener Gracie
So. So the thing about emotions, naturally men grow up suppressing their emotions, right? You cannot be emotional. And I grew up kind of being taught, don't get angry if somebody, you know, physically, even if somebody kind of pushes you a little bit or verbally attacks you, we don't get angry. We might defend ourselves, but be very aware of instead of like, ah, you don't have to start swearing back and getting out of control with your emotions. It's unnecessary. And the reason why getting emotionally responding emotionally in a fight is dangerous because you're kind of blinded by your emotions. You want to respond from a place of clarity. Not like, how dare you say that? And you attack the person who you know is A potential threat. And now you're putting yourself in harm's way because you're blinded by your emotions. So that awareness was always talked about. But there is something to be said also about how your emotions can add fuel to the encounter. Someone can cut me off in traffic and then they pull up next to me and I could be really angry and start saying something. And then before you know it, they pull their car off in front of me. Now I get out of my car and now we're yelling back and forth. The whole thing escalates because I got emotional about it. So emotional control, like in the everyday world, think about how many street fights or assaults could be avoided if the person that was, you know, initially offended had a little more emotional control, had a little more confidence, and they just said, you know what? That person's having a hard day. And they walked away.
- [10:27]
Mackenzie Dern
Yeah. And how Jiu Jitsu helps with that is that we continue to put people in sort of these uncomfortable positions, which brings up a myriad of emotions. And then now you're faced with these emotions on the mat, in a safe place with a training partner, you sort of trust, and then you could feel it coming up and you sort of taper it down sooner. And so you kind of learn how to micro control those emotions on the mat so that as you exist off the mat you go and then you settle it yourself. It's the practicing of emotional regulation in real time.
- [10:54]
Rener Gracie
And simultaneously you're learning techniques that make you feel more confident, more prepared, more empowered, so you don't need to verbally assert yourself to make up for your lack of confidence that you have physical. Because people who are very confident, who know how to fight, they don't start arguing and yelling back and forth. Right. The most confident person in the room is often the most quiet person in the room. So when it comes to the martial arts, it does so much in just calming people down. If you're an anxious person, if you're a nervous person, if you just, you're always. Even if you're a very negative person, Jiu Jitsu brings out the positivity.
- [11:36]
Interviewer
Now, one thing anyone's able to immediately assess is your guys relationship. It's a fantastic relationship. You guys get along very well, madly in love, you know. Would you attribute a lot of the success in your marriage to the lessons you've learned from Jiu Jitsu?
- [11:52]
Rener Gracie
I would say that thanks to Jiu Jitsu, I'm really durable. Because marriage is not easy. It's a very difficult thing. As much as it's difficult. It's also very rewarding. So I think my. I have a certain resilience that allows me to have very difficult times in the marriage, but then see the bigger picture and stick through it and be patient and be understanding and be forgiving. So I'm. You're saying that we're an amazing, loving couple, but that doesn't mean that we're not also human. And there could be arguments, but I don't yell in my arguments. I don't get angry and emotional, but I can be frustrated and be bothered by things, and so can she. And we can argue, but then the bigger picture creeps back in, which is, hey, I want to make this happen. I love this person. She has my best interests at heart, and I have hers at heart. But sometimes it doesn't feel that way. So the. The understanding and the grace and the patience, those are things that I feel like, for me, are very helpful.
- [12:59]
Mackenzie Dern
Well, and you're a hugely participatory person in the relationship. I think often when we get into relationships, we go, oh, I need them to be this person and do these things instead of being of service. So if you're perpetually going, I'm gonna continue to serve this relationship, you'll continue to win from it. And it's hard. Cause not every moment do we have the full capacity to give. And I think there's a lot of also constructs in the world where it's like, men should be this and women should be this, and that's how it should be. Instead of coming together, going, hey, how do you want to play this game? We're here on this earth one time. We're humans. We could, like you said, play the chess however we want. Do you want to play the rook today? Cool. It didn't work. Pull the rook back. Let's do the other one. And because we're on the same team for everything, we're going to play every game together. It's just figuring out how we want to play it with deep respect for each other and how each other's feelings at any given time and going, actually, you're gonna handle the kid fight today. Like, I'm gonna trust you with that.
- [13:53]
Rener Gracie
I feel like there's a confidence that the martial arts gives you at least. I believe the greatest thing jiu jitsu has given me is like a deep confidence that I know everything is gonna be okay no matter what. Like, I really feel that way. Because if it's gonna be okay, if somebody on top of me punching me, it's going to be okay. I'm going to get out. I'm going to be safe. Then everything else is going to be okay. I might lose my home one day. I might not have a car. I might lose a leg. I might get injured. It's going to still work out in the end. So I think Jiu Jitsu helped really ingrain that in me, that we're going to find an answer, we're going to find a way out of this, and we're going to be okay. And I've never once we've been married for I don't know how many years. 12, 10, 14, 15. You know better. A long time. Good amount of years. And even being married that long, no matter what the chaos, I never felt anything. But it's gonna be okay.
- [14:55]
Interviewer
Would you say that that's the greatest lesson that Jiu Jitsu taught you?
- [14:58]
Rener Gracie
For me, I would say it's the most valuable skill, most valuable thing that I've learned and taken from Jiu Jitsu.
- [15:06]
Mackenzie Dern
Yes.
- [15:07]
Interviewer
Now, one thing you guys also have mentioned several times is your children. Now, you. You know, I mentioned to you guys, my kids train Jiu Jitsu. They're three and four. And I asked you guys, when do you guys start? You said, babies. We start our kids as babies.
- [15:23]
Mackenzie Dern
Well, it's the concept that everything in Jiu Jitsu is movement, it's technique, it's leverage, it's understanding how to form positions. And when babies are babies and you're changing diapers, that's the thing. They can upa and upa, it's to bridge your hips up while your feet and your back are still remaining on the floor. And we would say oopa, and they would lift their hips and we would slide the diaper under.
- [15:46]
Rener Gracie
And she's saying we would say that because my dad did that to me when I was a baby. And kind of upa, I think, comes from, like a horse, like, bucking. So as a little baby, she just said, I'm laying down. And my dad would say, oopa. When I'm one years old, I would raise my hips and change the diaper. So it's an amazing example of how soon you could start using Jiu Jitsu, language and verbiage around kids. But the reason why our kids start so young and why any kids that start very young have an advantage and why it's so cool is because anything you want to learn in life, if you start when you're seven years old or four years old, you have an advantage over the rest of the world.
- [16:26]
Mackenzie Dern
And if you start with play. With play, children are significantly more likely to learn, enjoy, and become adaptable with play. If you're forcing them or if it becomes competitive or like, again, this is what we do. It's the control dynamic. Then they're a little more resistant to it. They don't understand why you're changing your behavior. But the Gracie family just plays Jiu Jitsu all day in every form.
- [16:50]
Rener Gracie
Our father did this and now we have what we call our Gracie Bully Proof program, which are these games that we teach parents to play with their children. And the idea, the kid doesn't even realize they're learning Jiu Jitsu. So what she's saying is when you play, you'll play forever. The kid wants to play sometimes more than the parent wants to play. And that's part of the trick. We teach parents that listen, don't even make it a thing.
- [17:16]
Interviewer
How do you teach that? Like, how do you teach, just play.
- [17:18]
Rener Gracie
Well, you disguise a Jiu Jitsu technique in a game so the kid thinks that they're playing a game called crocodile control where they have to hold down a crocodile for 10 seconds. But in reality, we're teaching our four year old how to hold another kid down underneath them, how to have positional control and have, you know, I guess, good weight distribution. And that's a fighting skill. Like if you lay down and I lay on top of you, I can hold you down for four days. You'll never get out. Now to give that to your child, they get into school in the, you know, a fight in the schoolyard, they fall on top of somebody, they can hold that kid down if they don't know how to hold someone down. And now you're 13, 16, 19, you resort to striking. Now you got 19 year olds beating each other up because they're afraid that if they don't win the fight quickly, they're going to get beat up. But I, on the other hand, I know I can just hold the person down for a minute, two minutes, three minutes, and they're going to get tired and then I'm going to stand up, say, hey, are we done here? And walk away. That was the whole fight, simply holding someone down. So why not give kids that tool when they're three, four years old? So when they're nine and you see the kid fighting on the grass in the schoolyard somewhere, you know, a little bowling situation, you don't, you're not in shock as a parent. Parents are like, oh my gosh, my kid's being bullied. What do I do. No, it's okay. Your kid's been playing, been play fighting forever with the parents, with the siblings, with whoever.
- [18:45]
Mackenzie Dern
Not to mention there's a huge benefit to like getting out their proprioceptive needs right before bedtime. Like, all right, mount on my back. Try to get off. You're wiggling, you're bonding with them. They feel safe, their body moves, they get charged and then they relax.
- [18:57]
Rener Gracie
She just said bonding. Which is one of the things that so many parents, they come forward and they say, wow, I never imagined how special the Jiu Jitsu would be because the physical contact that exists. My 9 year old son and I were grappling all the time. He's hugging me even though they're play fighting.
- [19:15]
Interviewer
I love it. That's why I love it huge. The bonding of Jiu Jitsu is priceless.
- [19:20]
Rener Gracie
There you go.
- [19:21]
Mackenzie Dern
And the normalization of physical like for Covid and everyone's like 6ft, 6ft, 6ft. We're humans, we need like 8 hugs a day. They say, on average, right? Like we're physical beings with everybody and we want to make sure we're like kids. You can touch other kids and it not be like weird, but also like hug. And if you don't feel great hugging. Great. Mount him. Roll over. Okay, I did it. Because we're fighting.
- [19:42]
Rener Gracie
We're fighting. It's not weird.
- [19:44]
Mackenzie Dern
It's not weird.
- [19:44]
Rener Gracie
Contact is not weird. And it's only a matter of time before your kids, your kids are doing jujitsu. But every, every single kid, at some point, whether they're 3, 5, 12, 19, 27, something will happen where someone someday crosses the line, someone someday grabs a wrist, pushes them, knocks them down, says something. And whether or not they have the skills is the parents responsibility. I had a friend that said, hey, bring your kid to Jiu Jitsu. He's like, yeah, I tried for the last year. He didn't come. I said, it has nothing to do with your son, it has to do with you. You're the parent. We do Jiu Jitsu once a week. This is a life skill. The last thing you want to do is turn 27 years old, 35 years old, and not have any skills to keep yourself safe. Because who knows what the world's going to throw your way.
- [20:33]
Mackenzie Dern
Well, and that's what's crazy. The majority of parents come to us 1, 2, 3 months before their child is going off to college, and they're like, hey, my little child, Jennifer, she's going to college and I want to protect her. I want her to know how to defend herself. And you're calling us three months before her. Her college vacation. What are we doing? She's needed years of first boundary setting and then understanding how to use her body as a defense mechanism, how to really assess a room, understand the human. Now he's overpowered me. How do I get out of this? And three months is a really short time to just equip her. And we can do it. We've done it. We do it.
- [21:06]
Rener Gracie
It takes a nightmare for parents to wake up. Too often the parent comes forward after. Either they're going to college, so they start thinking about the nightmare. Or maybe the kids, 10, 12 years old, they're getting bullied at school.
- [21:22]
Interviewer
No, I'm thinking about my daughters now. That's something like. It's more important.
- [21:25]
Rener Gracie
Don't wait.
- [21:26]
Mackenzie Dern
Don't wait. And again, if we resort to the. You learn better and play kids. Girls who are younger play easier. As we grow up, we go, I don't want to play. I want to go to Sephora. I want to be cute. I want to be beautiful. There was a huge shift in the social world of. Of all sort of digital, like, media of girls changing their interests. So capture them while they're still willing to play. And if you can play with them now, you got dad and mom rolling with you, bonding with you in ways that, like, really cement what they're capable of, their personal confidence, and what they can do in the future.
- [21:56]
Rener Gracie
And at the same time, don't make it something so serious where you have to do jiu jitsu. If you don't go, you're in trouble. It has to, like, be a family thing. And, okay, we do it today. We missed for two weeks, no problem. But it's just always in the back of your mind as a parent. And that's because you might do it once a week or that's because, you know, you had the discipline to watch videos and play with them on your carpet at your house once a week, whatever it is.
- [22:22]
Interviewer
Now I want to real quick, before we adjourn, I want to talk about the Gracie University. It's the biggest jiu jitsu academy ever. Who was the visionary behind it? How did you guys roll that out? And, like, what's the plan?
- [22:35]
Rener Gracie
So the Gracie. My grandfather and his brother Carlos Gracie and Elio Gracie, their brothers. They had other brothers as well. They basically shocked the world. They shocked Brazil, Exploded in Brazil. My father came to America 1979, 1978. His name is Gracie, and he created the UFC in 1993. My uncle Royce fought in the UFC and there were other uncles and cousins of theirs at the same generation. Horion was one of the co creators of the ufc. So him, his brother, his cousins, people of that generation, they were in other states as well. They were in New York, you know, Hawaii. They're all around America and in Brazil and they're fighting in different events. The UFC is obviously the biggest name, biggest promotion the UFC happened. My father and his brothers had the Gracie Academy in Torrance, California. There are multiple Gracie Academies. My brother Henner and I started Gracie University, which it's in the same community as where the Gracie Academy was. The Gracie Academy of Torrance, of Los Angeles is no longer, but in a way it is because we were also kid instructors growing up in the Gracie Academy, but we changed to Gracie University because we have an online platform, gracieuniversity.com where people can learn. It's a linear program. You can men, women and children. And we have courses for everybody, law enforcement training, and now we're doing a lot of first responders and we have Gracie Medical defense for doctors, nurses, everybody you can imagine, firefighters, everyone's learning Jiu Jitsu. Whoever you are, whatever demographic you are, we have a program and we have techniques that we suggest for you and your profession and your life. So Gracie University online birthed the idea of having Gracie University brick and mortar headquarters, mat space, and that's in Torrance, California. It's an amazing facility. You know, we have 1900 to 2000 students right now, from four three year old kids to 75 year old adults. It's amazing. And the best thing about Gracie University is, like I said, it doesn't matter who you are, you can grow with Jiu Jitsu, where quite often Jiu Jitsu schools might be more focused on the younger, more athletic, stronger, faster people, which those people can train at our school or any school in the world. And there is a beauty in the very sportive, competitive Jiu Jitsu. But Grace State University understands what Carlos Gracie, Helio Gracie, what so many of the Gracies before have always wanted, which is to empower the world. And I think today more than ever, other schools around the world are also understanding how a small percentage want to be competitive and want to fight and win medals. The majority want to have community. They want to exercise, build confidence. Yes. They want to use their body. If you don't use your body, you lose it. They want to learn skills that they can keep themselves safe and their families safe. They also want to learn how to approach situations and problems. With the Jiu Jitsu mindset, because when you start training Jiu Jitsu, you start looking at everything differently. You're more calculated, you're more strategic. You're more patient in your response. Back to the whole thing about marriage, right. How you just exist in a calmer space. You have this calm confidence. So I think everybody who does Jiu Jitsu would say, would agree with me that it has changed how they just sit within themselves.
- [26:23]
Interviewer
Incredible couple. Last questions. You guys are teaching grit. You learn grit from the Gracies. How are you instilling that same mindset, that Gracie mindset into your children? Now?
- [26:33]
Rener Gracie
It's unavoidable for our children to learn the mindset if we live it. So. My father used to always say, leading by example isn't the best way. It's the only way. So it's how we respond to challenges moment to moment, teach our children right. I'm a little bit more controlling than I need to be with my kids. She always reminds me of this, but I'm trying to educate them. But by me not being controlling teaches them to be flexible, teaches them to be, okay. Have that back to that mindset. It's all gonna be okay. It's all gonna work out. So living how we want them to live is probably the best teacher.
- [27:11]
Mackenzie Dern
I would say that my favorite line that I have taken to heart is how you speak to their children becomes their inner voice. And I talk to my kids, I go, yeah, you have the genetics of a champion because you're willing to work hard to do it, not because you're a champion of any kind. Right. You literally have genetics of working hard. That's what your genetics want to do. So keep working hard. You got this. And the idea is, if I can keep telling her, you can do hard things, you can emotionally regulate. You speak kindly to people. You're a generally kind person. I don't know why this one moment is being really hard for you, but generally speaking, you make good choices, so it's okay that sometimes we make mistakes. So I speak to the greater good of them, Honor the humanity in them in this moment, and then bring them back to. But this is who you are. We're building identity and building confidence.
- [27:58]
Rener Gracie
Yeah. You speak to the person's potential. Potential. You speak to the child's potential.
- [28:03]
Mackenzie Dern
Yeah.
- [28:05]
Interviewer
Now, what's a personal goal? You guys have a family goal and a business goal.
- [28:09]
Rener Gracie
Oh, my gosh. I would say I don't. I don't have any goals. You're Gracie. I have zero goals. Well, I just Want to continue to do every day the best that I can. I'm not even thinking, like, three years out, ten years out. I know that that's very much came from a real estate class over here, Realtors of America. We did a seminar, and people, they want more. They want these numbers, they got to hit this, this many, this leads. I don't want anything. I just want to keep doing the moment better.
- [28:49]
Mackenzie Dern
Great question. I think for me, personal goals is continued self awareness. So often we're giving our awareness and judgment to so many things around us and attempting to control it. But if we constantly look inside and go, who am I? What am I doing? What are the choices I'm making, and how are they affecting my family and my circles of worlds at large? Because I think I really pay attention to how I affect the people, people around me. And I watch a lot of people who don't even see how they impact anyone. I kind of compare it to, like, people walk into, like, a vase store and they can knock over any vase, and I'm like, do you see how you're affecting others? And I really care, maybe to a fault, but my goal is to just continue self awareness.
- [29:34]
Rener Gracie
It's interesting. And as you try to do yourself better every day and self awareness and all these things, it's gonna naturally touch your family life, your business life. You're gonna win everywhere. When you're constantly working on you focused on the moment. So are there some, like, oh, fun, superficial goals, you know, that are out there? Yeah, but I don't need to do any more, like I tell people, which is. I don't know.
- [30:00]
Mackenzie Dern
It's because he does a lot.
- [30:00]
Rener Gracie
In fairness, I don't know a lot. I don't know if this is good to say, but I already feel like I lived. I've lived long enough. I'm 43 years old. If I go tomorrow. I had a great life. I helped so many people. I traveled the world. I've touched so many lives. You know what I mean? I have kids, I have a wife, I have homes. Like, it all worked out. Everything now is just extra. And that's the thing, is that it's very easy to get in the mindset of, like, okay, what's next? What's next? What's next? No, I don't want anything. I just want to go have lunch.
- [30:35]
Mackenzie Dern
I will say, one of the greatest things. He's helped me, and I was a big goal person. I wanted to work with all these artists. I've toured the world. I've been to over 80, 75 countries at this point. We've been a lot of places, we've experienced a lot of the world together and we just keep going. When does the chase end? And when do we just become satisfied with every little moment? And as a person in the dance industry looking for that next job, the next movie, the next whatever, I think it's been really beautiful to go, I'm right here, I'm in this job. It actually doesn't matter what the next job is. Can I do this one to the max and can I celebrate it? We're so quick to chase the next. We don't even really revel in what we are experiencing now.
- [31:13]
Rener Gracie
We get to be day to day on the Jiu Jitsu mat, helping. Like I said, from a 4 year old child to a 75 year old. So we're just changing lives every day connecting and there, you can't put a price on that. The value, the people that have come to us in tears, in gratitude for what Jiu Jitsu has done for them, like, I don't need anything else ever again.
- [31:39]
Interviewer
Last question. When you're in front of the pearly gates, what do you think God's gonna tell you?
- [31:45]
Rener Gracie
Jesus, welcome. You're an amazing person.
- [31:48]
Mackenzie Dern
I think he'd probably say he should have probably had more kids. That's what I feel like. Yeah.
- [31:54]
Rener Gracie
Yeah, that's a good question. How many kids should you have? As many as you can. I got four.
- [31:59]
Interviewer
I'm shooting for 10.
- [32:00]
Mackenzie Dern
There you go. I hear this 10 number is a.
- [32:03]
Rener Gracie
Big thing, but her saying that says a lot. Her just saying you should have had more kids. We need to leave here now. Let's get out of here.
- [32:08]
Interviewer
We're the same age. You got plenty of time.
- [32:10]
Rener Gracie
Let's get out of here. It's time to go. And it's a wrap. Thanks, guys.
- [32:19]
Interviewer
Hey, if anyone, if people want to find you, how do they connect with you?
- [32:22]
Rener Gracie
Gracieuniversity.com is that platform if you want to learn Jiu Jitsu. But we're heavy on Instagram. Heat on Gracie Instagram.
- [32:31]
Mackenzie Dern
I'm Vic, Gracie.
- [32:32]
Rener Gracie
Vic, Gracie, Facebook, all the things. It's easy, you know, these days you can probably type it underneath there. But these days it's easy to find anybody. And the funny part is that anybody out there listening and watching right now we're probably 2 or 3 degrees away separation, right? Because everybody knows someone who knows someone who knows a Gracie. Like the family is so big that you're. You could probably call me on the phone. If you call two or three people, you can get my number. It's that easy.
- [33:03]
Interviewer
Yeah, you have, like, 80 cousins.
- [33:06]
Rener Gracie
There you go. Too many more. Way too many cousins.
- [33:11]
Interviewer
Guys, you were a pleasure. Thank you so much for being on the show. God bless you guys. God bless your family. Hope you hit all your goals.
- [33:16]
Rener Gracie
Thank you.