← Coffeez with Joe Shalaby
Coffeez with Joe Shalaby
Unlocking Potential ft. John Assaraf | Coffeez for Closers with Joe Shalaby Ep. 54
01:24:54
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- [00:00]
A
Foreign what's up everybody? And welcome to another episode of Coffees for Closers, the podcast where we dive deep into the minds of the most influential leaders and innovators. Today we have an extraordinary guest who has mastered the art of leveraging the human mind's power to achieve success. With over 30 years of experience, he has built five multi million dollar companies, authored two New York Times bestsellers, and appeared in blockbuster films like the Secret. He's a world renowned entrepreneur, behavioral neuroscience researcher and the founder and CEO of NeuroGym. Get ready to unlock the secrets of your mind and the secrets of success with the one, the only, John Assaroff. Thanks. Thanks so much John. Thanks for driving down. I hope the drive wasn't too overwhelming.
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B
From San Diego to Newport Beach. Easy peasy.
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A
John. So I like to start the podcast off with the same question I ask everybody is what is John Asaroff's morning routine?
- [01:16]
B
Oh, very good. Wake up. As soon as I open up my eyes, I actually smile. And the reason I do that is to activate dopamine, the feel good neurochemical. And then I think about three or four things that I am grateful for, again to keep activating the dopamine neurochemical, which is, you know, your anticipatory of reward. Then as I put my feet on the ground on my bedroom, I think about how some people didn't wake up this morning and couldn't that so again, more gratitude. So smiling happy gratitude for, you know, family, friends, health and living. And then I do my morning meditation, which is around 10 to 12 minutes of meditation. I do a variety of different meditations. Mostly I turn on my inner size app and I do one of my inner sizes in the morning meditations. And then I take out my vision board, my exceptional life blueprint is what I call it. And I flip through the 50 or so pages of the different things I've achieved in my life, the different things I want to achieve in my life. And then I review every single goal that I have for health, wealth, relationships, career, business, finance, charity, and the fun and experiences that I want to, you know, live out this year, next year, the year after that. So I prime my brain every day with the things to remind me of what I've accomplished and achieved, the things I want to achieve in the future for my vision and then my goals for this year and for next year and the year after that. So I prime my brain for that. By the way, before that there is coffee, there is a double espresso before all that. And then I Go and work out. I have a home gym or I get on my E bike and I take my E bike to the gym. I usually do two or three body parts a day. My that routine takes me about two hours from the time I wake up to the time I'm back to my house showering. And then I have my high powered smoothie for massive energy and protein for muscle building. And then I'm at my desk at 8:30 for a meeting with my executive assistant.
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A
That is a packed morning routine.
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B
6:30 to 8:30.
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A
Well, I mean it's like jam packed with so much information that like a lot of people, like I think I ask everybody what's their morning routine. That's the best morning routine I've ever heard. And a lot to learn from that because I subscribe to the Inner Size app. I love the Inner Size app. And the Inner Size app is so much more than just meditation strategy.
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B
Yeah, the whole idea for Inner Size came from watching Jack Lalanne when I was a kid in the 60s, 70s.
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A
You're like the modern day Jack Lalanne.
- [04:03]
B
For the mind, right. So he did exercise to strengthen your muscles. And I used to, you know, visualize and meditate and affirm and see the problems I had. And then I would visualize and think about the solutions and I realized that I was just training my brain. And then I went to the 1976 Olympics in Montreal. Cause that's where I used to live. And I would see the athletes close their eyes. You know, some of them would be practicing free throws, you know, in their mind. Some of them would be using their hands like this of you know, how they're going to navigate through. And I was asking, you know, my basketball coach at the time, what are they doing? And he said they're visualizing. And he said visualization is a simulation that teaches your brain a pattern. And any pattern that you repeat becomes automatic, otherwise known as a habit. So I started to visualize my success. And so that was kind of like the beginning of inner sizing. And I kept doing it year after year after year. When I was building my real estate company where I had 1200 agents and 85 offices, we exploded our sales from when we got to 1.2 billion to four and a half billion. By helping our agents train their brains and their self image and self worth and self esteem and get rid of limiting beliefs. And I just realized that our brain, especially since we found out that our brain is more like plastic than it is like lead. And we can mold this plastic neuroplasticity is what it's called. You can deliberately fire brain cells, wire them together and then reinforce them. And when you do any repetition of a language pattern, an emotional pattern, a visualization pattern, any type of technique that you can use, you're re firing your own brain cells. And then if you are refiring and rewiring and then you do it repeatedly. It's no different than what we do in the gym with building your muscle or walking every day up a hill or doing pilates or yoga. It gets stronger. You get stronger. So I started to deliberately and consciously evolve myself. And then I've had over a hundred thousand students that have been inner sizing for years. And the results they're getting in health and wealth and sales and leadership and being a CEO and, and losing weight and keeping it off has just been phenomenal. So I created my inner size app to help the world with over 500 different inner sizes for health, wealth, relationships, career, business, leadership, sales and everything else they can think of. Plus expert training with our faculty of world renowned brain and success experts.
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A
And you bring in things like I learned about the NEAT acronym on inner size. I've been super fascinated. You had the weight. So it's a weight loss. Did you just add it?
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B
Weight loss? Yeah, we just added it.
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A
And it's like oh, weight gain, weight loss, like I don't need. But no, you need to read about it just, or learn about it just because people don't, they know what they don't know. And who knew that like non exercise activity thermogenics are the reason why people are obese. You know, it's.
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B
Well, it's. People are. Well, we first inform us as it relates to weight. We live in an obesogenic environment. You know, if you take a look at the foods that are genetically modified, engineered fast food, sugar, carb. We are addicted to the salt, the fat, the sugar, the carbs, you know, because our brain actually likes that. So it becomes addicted to getting that dopamine hit. So as much as it likes it, it becomes addicted to it. But then we eat a lot of it as a reward. But then addiction doesn't care really about reward, it just cares about feeding the monster. Yeah, so when I was £243 when I started to discover how come I kept gaining and losing weight. 20 pounds here, 10 pounds there, 30 pounds off, 30 pounds back on. And I discovered that everybody has for example, a fat set point in your brain. Everybody has a financial set point in your brain. We have a relationship set point. We Become conditioned to have these comfort zones just like a thermostat. And what most people don't normally do, if they want to make more money, if they want to grow their business bigger, if they want to borrow a bunch of money to, you know, invest it in their business, they don't know how to reset the thermostat. And that's why they yo yo back and forth between old behaviors or new behaviors and they achieve some success and whether it's weight loss or more money and then they recede back to what's normal because that's the setting. And so we have a lot of these circuits and settings in our brains that I've just been fascinated with now for 40, 43 years.
- [08:53]
A
I was going to ask you, what age did you become so fascinated with?
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B
19. I'm 63 now.
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A
Best fit, most fit 63 year old I've ever seen. Got an eight pack just shredded.
- [09:06]
B
I got fascinated. You know, When I was 12 to 18, I got into an enormous amount of trouble with the law. I left high school in grade 11. I fell two years behind other kids in school because of the language barrier I had when my parents moved from Israel, the Middle east to Montreal. They spoke French and English there. And I just sat in the class and looked at the ceilings and prodded the kid next to me on the shoulder and picked somebody's hair just because I was bored. And so I just got into a lot of trouble and fell behind. And so I got involved with a group of kids that were really good at shoplifting, beating other kids up, doing breaking and entries and doing illegal stuff to make some money to fit in. And I knew that I was going down the wrong path and I was on the wrong train, picking up speed when one of my friends died and another one went to jail. So it's like, oh, like that could be me. And I had a break in my life, like, thank God, breaking my life. My brother, who I love and loves me, who's nine years older, was really concerned for my well being and he said to me, says, hey, there's this guy, his name is Alan Brown, that is a successful real estate entrepreneur, developer, entrepreneur, philanthropist. And he said he's willing to meet with you and maybe, maybe there's a job available for you. And at the time I was working for Philips Electronics in their shipping department in making $1.65 an hour, hating every day. And I said, a job. Meet somebody who might be able to give me a job. I took the train to Toronto, met my brother at the train station, went to lunch and we meet this guy and my brother was sitting next to me. He was sitting like where you are now. And he asked me what were my goals. I said, oh, I want a better job, I want to make more money, I want to move out of my parents house and I want a car. And he said that's great goals to have. He said, but what are some of your bigger goals and dreams? I remember I was 19, so I was like, no, I want money to go to the bars, you know, to go have some fun and maybe meet some young ladies and party with my friends. And so he said, well, do you have any other bigger goals and dreams? I said no. So he gave me this document and he said would you mind just answering some of these questions and then we can go from there? And I said sure. So I opened up the first page and at the top it said, at what age do you want to retire? I'm 19, I go retire, I want a job. And he said, well just put something down. Because I asked him what should I put there? He said put a number down. I said, Is 45 okay? And he goes, sure, put 45 down. And the second question was, upon retirement, how much net worth do you want to have? Now my dad was a cab driver, my mother worked at a local department store. There was always too many extra days left at the end of all of their money. So he's telling me how much money do I want to have upon retirement? I asked him like, what am I supposed to put there? Like nobody in my family has ever retired. They all work till they die. And so he says, just pick a number. And I said, I know, 3 million, is that okay? And he goes, yeah, that's okay. It's a good number to put down anyway. Age, retirement, where do you want to travel? I wrote all over the world. What kind of car do you want? Mercedes Benz 450 SL, I think it was at the time. Or 500 SL convertible, Italian clothes, four bedroom house. Retire my parents. I wrote down all of these things to answer the questions. And this was the moment my life changed. This was beginning of May 1980. Just up into perspective everyone. And he takes the documents, he starts reading it and he goes, this is good stuff. Retire at a good age, have fun, travel the world, give some to charity, to your parents, your brother, your sister. He said I'm going to ask you one question. And the answer to this one question will determine and tell you and tell me whether you'll achieve every one of These things, I'm like one question. He goes yeah, one question. And he leans in and he goes are you interested in achieving all of these things that you wrote down or are you committed to achieving them? And I sat there, I felt a little bit like I was in school, like a little dumb, like I didn't understand the physics or math problem, which I didn't in school. And I go, excuse me Mr. Brown, what's the difference between the two? And I never forget what he said and I still teach it to this day. He says, listen, when people are interested, they do what's easy and convenient. He says they allow their present or current circumstances to control their thinking and their behavior. They allow what they believe to be the truth. They allow their habits to continue even though some of them are destructive, some of them are disempowering and some of them are darn right negative. He says, but when somebody is committed, they upgrade their identity, they upgrade their beliefs, they upgrade their knowledge, they upgrade their skills, they upgrade their habits so that they match the vision and the goals that they want to achieve. So he leans in, Joe, and he says, so now that you know the difference, which are you interested in achieving these goals and dreams or are you committed? I don't know why to this day I don't know why. I said well in that case Mr. Brown, I'm committed. And he reached his hand across the table, put my hand in his. He says in that case I will be your mentor. And I said, wow, thank you sir. What's a mentor? That's how it went down. Three weeks later I moved 350 miles from Montreal to Toronto. The only person I knew now was him and my brother. I went to real estate school. May 5th, 1980. Got my real estate paper or license. June 20th, 1980, he gave me a job. I lived in my brother's apartment on the sofa. He gave me a job on commission only before I was making a buck 65 an hour. Now I'm on commission only I was scared shitless. Now I got no money, no money. I had to borrow the $500 to go to real estate school. He says, don't worry, now you're in control. You're always in control, even when you work for somebody else. You control how much they pay you based on how good you are. Because the marketplace has a value for everyone and everything. So he started teaching me the principles of value, the principles of marketing and selling. And the first thing he taught me, he put a book in front of me. I can't remember what the name of the book was, he says, let's pick the streets back here where our office is. And I was in Toronto now. And he says, I want you to go from the top down. Here's a sheet of paper and here's a script. Pick up the phone. Dial, by the way, we had to dial back then. And then he get a script in front of me. So I would have my phone in one hand and the script in front of me. And I would go, hi, this is John Nasaraf with Allen Brown Real Estate Company. We're just down the street from you. We have somebody who is looking to buy a home. Have you thought about making a move? If they said yes, I'd flip the page. I go, oh, great. Can my broker, Alan Brown and I come over to your home today at 3:00 or would 5:00 be better? And he taught me that's called an alternative close. And if they said one of the times that great, we'll see you at 3 or 5 o'clock, 3 o'clock or 5 o'clock. If they said no, I'd go to the page next to it and said, oh, okay. Do you know when you might might think of making a move? So I had to learn it off of a script. And then he said to me, now what I want you to do is record the script so that you know it inside out. So I recorded on a cassette tape. We didn't have mobile phones then, all right, back in 1980, we were just getting the mobile phones out. But I record them on Consetts and in my car I would listening. I was listening to the script to wire my brain with the script like a Hollywood actor or a New York actress learns the script by memory. I learned the script then he taught me the objections and the answers to the objections. And then I made $30,000 in the next six, in six months on calling a script every day, 100 calls a day. Every day. The formula, 100 calls a day, you not speak to a hundred people a day. Every day, a hundred calls. Every day, a hundred calls. Back then, people would answer the phone and we didn't have caller id. We didn't have any of that back then. So dialing for dollars with a script that I practiced like a Pro. I made 30 grand my first year. My second year, he says, okay, now or my second, 12 months, he says, now that you're good at that, I'm going to teach you a more complex script because it involves actually going to see people. So he taught me the door knocking script. Knocking on somebody's door face to face. And we practiced that in the office. But he also taught me something called the For Sale by Owner script. Going after people who already raised their hand, saying, I want to sell my home, but I don't want to use a real estate agent. I learned the Tommy Hopkins script for that, and I was the king of For Sale by owners. At the age of 21, I made $150,000 in my next 12 months. So that was, like, the beginning of training my brain. And then another guy by the name of Rocky Madsen introduced me to the world of visualization and affirmations and different mental and emotional rehearsal techniques that I started, you know, when I was 19.
- [19:12]
A
Wow. The journey started young. So when did you become so fashion fascinated with, like, the vision boards? Was it 19, like, because.
- [19:19]
B
No, no, no, no, no, no. As I got fascinated with what happened to me, and I had. When I was 22, I went traveling around the world for 15 months. I took $72,000 that I had saved up and traveled around the world. And when I came back, I worked really hard to make and I'll get.
- [19:39]
A
You through three cities now.
- [19:42]
B
I went for 15 months around the world. It was magical. When I came back, I worked really hard, probably too much so. A lot of drinking, a lot of poor foods, not exercising enough, but working hard to make money. My life a total imbalance to make money, which ended up creating a lot of stress, which activated my autoimmune system with ulcerative colitis. So at 22, I had ulcers in my colon that were bleeding. And through probably about 15, 18 months, I was taking 25 pills a day. I was doing a cortisone enema in the morning and at night at home, alone. Yes. Embarrassing, because I was shitting all over the place. You have zero bowel control. I could shit in my car with a client in there. I could shit at a restaurant because I couldn't make it to the bathroom. That's what colitis swells up your intestines. But it doesn't swell it up where there's more room. It swells it so there's no room for anything to go. So there's just these explosions. And I was like, what is going on? And then I saw something on TV that talked about something called psychoneuroimmunology. It's like, big freaking word, right? I was like, what the heck does that mean? All it means is there's a mind, body, connection. The body follows the mind, the mind follows the body. And so I started doing these affirmations and visualizations and I actually cut out a picture of a healthy colon. And my affirmation was my body and all its organs were created by the infinite intelligence in my subconscious mind. It created all my muscles, tissues, bones and organs. It made me perfect. It is making me whole and perfect. Now I give thanks for the creative intelligence that is within me right now, making me perfect and healthy right now. I would read that on a piece of paper 20, 30 times a day. I didn't know then but I was activating those neurons. I didn't know then that I was creating an emotional state of this health. I didn't know then that I believe there is something that connects us to this field of intelligence that we are all in. And I didn't know then that I was releasing the neurochemicals of what I was speaking into truth. Five weeks. Five weeks. And by the way, I was going to the hospital every month to get it checked. And you know through where when you have ulcerative colitis, they usually either go through your mouth or through your butt. I didn't enjoy that. But within five weeks of the affirmation, closing my eyes and seeing my colon healthy, seeing myself active, working out, exercising, enjoying life, not being a victim and traumatized by it, five weeks later, it was gone. And I called up my doctor, his name was Dr. Wu. And I said, hey, it's gone. He says, well, I want you to still take the pills. And I said to him, I don't think you understand. You want to treat the symptom. I fixed the cause. And yes, I started to eat a diet that was better. And yes, I did start to exercise every day to release the stress. So between the exercise, the food plan and the visualization and the affirmations, it was gone. Like gone. And I can't tell you how many places I actually shit in without any control over 18 months. So I went from trauma to health and I haven't looked back. And so I have been visualizing meditating, inner sizing, mental contrasting, affirming for decades now. And I've taught it to hundreds of thousands of students, from CEOs to professional athletes, to engineers, lawyers, doctors, homemakers, it doesn't matter. We have a hundred billion dollar brain with very little or very few instructions on how to use it better. But the research today is eons. We've had 500 years of scientific research, but it's only in the last 25 years we've learned more about the brain because we can actually look inside a human living brain. But in the last five years, what we've been discovering because of fmri functional magnetic resonance imaging technology, PET technology, specific scan technologies, we're able to see, you know, we know we have three circuits. We know we have, excuse me, three networks in the brain. The Salience, Executive and Default Mode network. They're like computer networks that do certain things. What we didn't know is we could activate or deactivate them ourselves. But we also have a fear circuit, motivational circuit, uncertainty circuit, doubt circuit, self worth circuit. And they're more in our control than we have ever known. But many people suffer from ignorance, just not knowing, right? So if you imagine you give somebody, you know, a Mercedes Benz, but they don't know how to drive, it's really pretty in the driveway, but they ain't going anywhere without it. So we have this phenomenal, powerful, genius brain, and everybody's brain works the same functionally. Now, what causes you to have fear or you to have fear or me to have fear may be different, but the fear circuit works the same. What motivates you may not motivate somebody who's listening or watching right now. So her motivational circuit may be active, watching this, somebody else's might go, ah, that's a bunch of bullshit. And they're out of here. So the key to understand is we have a lot more control than we think we have. But there are techniques and mechanisms that we could use and, or activate to optimize the use of our brain. And I say the use of our brain, right, like optimize the use of your hand. We have a brain, we are not our brain. You have a heart, you're not your heart. You have feet, you're not your feet. But we have not been taught how to use our brain better. And that's what I've been studying and fascinated with because I have evidence, I have my own evidence in health, in relationships, in money, in business, in helping others. It's one thing if it was only working for me, but I have tens of thousands of use cases of use cases of clients, members of, you know, my neurogym and inner size. And so there's a process, and I've just been fascinated with that. I don't know why, but I've been fascinated with this gift that our God creator, whatever you want to call it, gave us.
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A
So Neurogym is like, it's like a group, like inner size, but just a group.
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B
Yeah, the company is called Neurogym our website is myneurogym.com and we have coaching programs for money, for business, for fear, for procrastination, for weight loss. And they all involve live coaching, they all involve brain training, the ones that we've created and give to people. And they all involve community to help each other. And what's really interesting is I've had over a hundred thousand members in the last eight years. 100,000. I had a call this morning with several hundred of our members in our winning game of money program. And yesterday was winning a game of business program. And you know what's fascinating is the names and faces change, but the questions are the same. These stories are the same. The traumas are similar, the fears are similar. The limiting beliefs are similar. The worthiness challenges are similar. There's only four things that keep coming back over and over again that hold people back. One is they've developed beliefs that are limiting them, but they weren't born with them. They develop self image or self worth or self confidence issues, but they weren't born with a lack of those. They have fears like, you know, fear of failing or fear of succeeding and failing, or fear of being embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed or judged or rejected or unloved or abandoned or disappointed. Those are things that trigger their fear circuit. They have a lack of knowledge and skills of how to achieve something. So that activates doubt and uncertainty, which triggers fear, which deactivates the motivational circuit. Most people, like, look at you, look at me, look at themselves in the mirror, and it's like, that's who I am. No, you're not. That's your body, that's your face, that's your nose, those are your eyes, it's your hair. Well, my brain, my brain. No, you're not. You have a brain, but your brain operates in a certain way like your car does, like an airplane does, like a train does, like, you know, like everything has like an operating system. And most people's challenge is not that they're not genius and brilliant beyond imagination. They just haven't been trained on how to use what God already gave them. And so I teach them what I learned, what I've applied. But then collectively, you know, we help people identify what is really holding you back. Is it your limiting beliefs? Okay, let's get rid of them. You weren't born with fears. You weren't born with limiting beliefs. You weren't born with a self image. You weren't born with confidence. You were born with character traits and certain propensities based on genetics. But we also know that epigenetics overrides genetic propensities through environment, through thought, through behavior, through emotional regulation. And so for anybody who's willing to learn, anybody who's willing to become more aware and to be growth minded, as Carol Dwak said, versus closed minded, there's hope and there's a path. And I tell all of my students, would you agree? And I'll ask you this, would you agree any goal you want right now? Just about. Just about any goal. Let's say 99% of your goals. Has somebody achieved them?
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A
Absolutely.
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B
Oh, so they're doable.
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A
Yeah.
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B
So if somebody's achieved them and they're doable, the how to manual already exists. And if you want like some quick help, go to ChatGPT. A new era has dawned upon us. Like, I'm on it every day. My students are all on it every day.
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A
I think you've built out AI mechanisms in. In your.
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B
In the app.
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A
In the app.
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B
In the app. I have an AI coach. I trained the app with over a thousand hours of my coaching and people could ask me any question. And we're. It's all in written form now. You can actually talk to it and it'll answer you. And then the next iteration comes out in about two to three weeks is you can actually talk to me and I'll answer you in my voice with your image or no, we're not moving to video yet. The latency is still not perfect. I have some really good clones of myself with heygen, which is a really good cloning software, but it's not perfect yet. And, and I like things to look and feel right for my own brand and quality. So I'm doing most of the talking. So. Sorry.
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A
No, I want you to, because everyone hears me all day.
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B
Oh, okay, good.
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A
Everyone hears me all day. So talk about the secret, because you told me the story about the secret. Now, how did you get involved in the movie the Secret?
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B
So I wrote a book in 2003. It's called Having it all, because I focused a lot of my life on health, wealth, relationships, career, business, family, my children, my wife, my brother, my sister, traveling, having fun, having experiences. And I set that as my vision and goals back in 1980. And I've been working towards having it all. And so I wrote how I was able to achieve most of Having It All. And then in the book, in 1995, I'm going to come back to a question you asked earlier. Around 1995, I started to take my Goals for health, wealth relations, career, business. And I created these boards. They're called vision boards. And on every board, I had, like a health board. I had a picture of the body that I want. I had a picture of the body I wanted, which you accomplished.
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A
Clearly.
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B
I had a. Again, but this was going back to 1995, right? So we're like 40 years. 40 years ago, I had, you know, like, my Mercedes Benz. I had a picture of where I want to travel. So I had these boards, one for each area of my life. And on one of the boards, I was going through this Dream Homes magazine, and I saw this house on the COVID and I go, oh, my God. One day, when I could buy any house I want, I didn't know where it was or how much it was. There was this spectacular house with, I think, 188 windows, tennis court, swimming pool, white like Miami Vice, which I loved, and cactus gardens and acreage. I said, one day, when I can afford any house I want, I'm going to buy a house just like that. And I took my cutting pen and I cut the image of the thing and I put it up on my vision board. And every day when I'd come into my home office, I would look at the board, close my eyes, and I would see myself walking by the pool. I'd see myself playing basketball on the tennis court. I would see myself in the Jacuzzi. I would see myself in the orange grove. I just see myself living in a house like that. And I did that for about two years. You know, visualized it, emotionalize it, let it go. And I probably did four or five days a week. Not. Not every day was I in my home office. And two years later, I decided to move from Indiana, where I built ReMax of Indiana. I moved to Vancouver, British Columbia, for a year. So all my. All my stuff went to storage. Other than clothes, we just put everything in storage. Furniture, everything went into storage. We went from Vancouver. We lived there for a year. The deal that I worked on there didn't work out. I went to LA because my. My former wife wanted to, like, see how well she could be an actress. So she did some acting lessons. And she said it wasn't for her. And then I said to her, I said, hey, I want to live in San Diego. When I finished my world tour when I was 23, I said, I'm either going to move to Sydney or San Diego.
- [35:05]
A
You did a world tour?
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B
When I was 22, I remember I took 20. I took $72,000, and I went around the world, to see the world. And when I came back, I said, I'm either gonna move to Sydney or San Diego. Sydney was too far. So I moved to San Diego. And I sat there, I said, hey, listen, since you don't like acting and la, I've been wanting to go to San Diego for many, many, many years. Would you consider moving down there and let's raise our kids together down there? And she said, yeah, for sure. So we moved down. We were getting a divorce, and we moved as a. As a divorced couple. We moved to San Diego to raise our kids together.
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A
We were already divorced, and we were getting divorced.
- [35:48]
B
We were getting divorced and. But we wanted to raise our kids together because we had a commitment to the children. And thank God we did. We got two amazing sons, now 29 and 27, Keenan and Noah. And long story short, we moved to San Diego. I rented a house on the bluff in San Diego while I was looking for a home, found a home, moved, renovated it for six months, moved into the house, got the stuff from Indiana to finally come after four or five. Four years of being in storage. One morning, like, on the second or third day, I was in my home office that had just been set up. It was just above the tennis court. My son Keenan, who was five or seven at the time, he comes and the boxes for my vision boards, these six boards were in these boxes, sealed for five years, just about. And he sits on the boxes and he's banging them, and he says, daddy, what's in the boxes? And I said, well, honey, they're my vision boards. And he was five at the time. And he said, what's a vision board? I said, well, when I have a vision, a goal or a dream that I. That I want to achieve, I put it on my board. He goes, a dream like I have at night. I said, no, no, no, sweetheart. And I just said, let me just show you. So I cut the boxes open with some scissors and a knife, and I pulled out the first vision board, and it had the Mercedes Benz that I wanted, that I had achieved. Update says, daddy, that's your car. I said, yes, sweetheart. And there were some other things on there that I wanted to achieve. I remember I had, like, alligator shoes on there. Materialistic things. And then I pulled out the second board and I looked at it, and I was a little, like, confused. I was a little dumbfounded. And he says. He looks up and he goes, daddy, how did our house get on this board? And I started to cry. I started to cry because I was standing in the house that I cut out a picture of from Dream Homes magazine five years earlier. And I didn't even know it was the house, not a house like it.
- [37:58]
A
The house.
- [37:59]
B
The house. And I am crying. He says, daddy, why are you crying? And I had studied spirituality, and I had studied the brain. I had studied manifestation. I had studied Law of Attraction. Because Bob Proctor taught it to me earlier that we became partners. And I was like. Everything that I learned about quantum physics, quantum mechanics, neuroscience, biology, physiology, taking action came together in a nanosecond for me. I said, sweetheart, I finally understand how we create. How we met, we. I used manifest, which you didn't understand. How we create things from our mind into physical matter, like this home. And he didn't understand. So I wrote about that story in the book. By the way, the first person I called was Bob Proctor because he taught me about the Law of Attraction. And the Law of Attraction wasn't just about, think, believe, and you'll achieve. That's bullshit. The Law of Attraction is think, believe, get off your asarraff, all right? And do the right things in the right order at the right time, and you will achieve. The Secret movie talked about, think, believe, and you'll achieve without the. You gotta take the right actions. And that's the only issue I had with the Secret. But Rhonda read about my story in my New York Times bestselling book. She invited me to be in the Secret. I was in a hotel room, sitting in a chair like this with a green screen behind me. She was there, just like you are right now, asking me questions. I told this story, and it made it into the movie. We had no idea. Idea that she was going to create this masterpiece from it.
- [39:40]
A
I just did an interview, and that was the premise of the book. I mean, but they did leave out the get off your ass, get off your ass.
- [39:49]
B
That's the law of Goya. I call it right to get off your ass law. And the good news is over.
- [39:55]
A
Talk about the get off your ass. Because we call it grit, we call it other things, and people just don't take action.
- [40:00]
B
Grit is. Well, people do take action. I don't agree with that. And inaction is an action. I'll explain in just a moment. So if you think about the most sophisticated Rubik's Cube, okay, the one that's, like, multifaceted. If anybody was committed to learning how to solve it, could they. Maybe not on their own, but could they go to YouTube? Yes. Could they hire a coach? Yes. Could they go to a conference for learning how to do the ruby shoe. Yeah.
- [40:35]
A
There's like little kids that do it in like a minute.
- [40:38]
B
So for every goal that anybody is watching right now, how to exists, how to achieve, how do you make ten thousand or a million dollars? We know how to, how to build a business to a million or 10 million. We know how to, how to lose weight and keep it off. We know how to. Now listen, there's some things we don't know how certain cancers, we don't know how to cure them yet. But we figure things out. So when we talk about get off your ass, action is the order of results, right? You have to take action to achieve results. Right. But you also have to do the right things. If you're in front of somebody, if you're in front of a, a guy or a girl that you really find attractive and you say a stupid thing, they're probably just going to move away from you. But if you know how to approach somebody in a gentle kind way, maybe, maybe a curious way, maybe, you know, there's communication skills, there's sales skills, there's money earning skills, there's money management skills, there's debt skills, there's scale skills, there's, there's skills for everything. And with the right skill and the right action at the right time, we create the effect of having a combination for a safe with $10 million in it. We have to know what the numbers are and we have to put them in the safe in the right order. It's the same as a Rubik's cube just moving the Rubik's cube in this 3 by 3 by 3 by 3 Rubik's Cube, there's 43 quintillion possible moves. And that's not a made up number. Real number, 43 quintillion moves. If you want to get in shape, there's a lot of different ways to do it. But if you don't have the right formula for you with your circumstance, you may be working really hard, doing the wrong things or too much or too little of it if you want to make money. I cannot tell you how many students that start out with me that are, let's say my winning game of money program or winning of business program. When we talk about what are your money making activities, they don't know the difference between a money making activity and a getting ready to make money activity. Now they're not dumb people, they've just never been trained. I had to learn how to eat what I killed. Basically. I had to get on the call If I didn't get on the call and learn the script, like, I could have gotten on the call, but without the right script, I'd probably not be successful. But I got on the call, I learned the script, I practiced the script. I got better at the script. I got better in sales.
- [43:34]
A
When you master the script, you crushed it.
- [43:37]
B
I crushed it. And then I learned a new script and crushed it. Then I learned to play a different game, because then I said, okay, how do I get people like me to work for me? And that's where my second mentor came in. And his name is Walter Schneider, and he was the number one franchisor or sub franchisor in the world for any franchise. And I had to pay to play with him. And he taught me the new scripts for leverage. And so. And then I had another mentor, Len McCurdy, who had built a 5,500 person company that did a lot of revenue that he got bought out for a lot of money. Well, he had a script for raising money. He had a script for scaling. He had a script. A process is what I'm talking about, right? And very few people are prepared to learn the process, the systems. And I'm not naturally a processor systems person. I'm a visionary. I like to envision what I want. I don't mind working, but between the work and the vision, there has to be a process. And process and systems give you leverage. And every stage of your growth and development requires an adjustment and a tweaking of what you're doing. So, you know, I'm 63. My goal has been to have an eight pack at 63. I got a six pack at 60. An eight pack is a little bit different than a six pack because there's other muscles I need to work on. So I need new exercises, different sequences, you know, to work those muscles. Similar discipline, similar effort. But I had to tweak my strategies. Right, What'd you tweak?
- [45:19]
A
How do you even like, what's the difference?
- [45:20]
B
Well, the hardest part that I didn't know before of your eight pack is the lower two abs. And for those, you've got to do a lot of reverse type of crunches, reverse type of work. And six packs. And eight packs are not made in the gym. So I've had to be meticulous with my diet to get. Listen, I do it for like my birthday and then I edge off just so I can challenge myself. But I do stupid things like changing which hands I brush my teeth with just to get good at change. So I've been brushing my teeth now with my left hand, even though I'm right handed now for three years because I developed the habit in my left hand. It doesn't want to go back to the right now. So I just keep challenging myself to master being adaptable. I teach my students that the number one skill today is to be an adaptationist. To be an adaptationist, you have to learn the science of change to make it easier. Because we have an ancient brain in the modern world that does not want change. But if you want to achieve something you haven't achieved yet, you're not doing it in your current comfort zone with your current routines, your current processes and systems. You have to go outside of your current habits that drive 95% of all your behaviors and results. And most people don't want to invest, not pay the price, invest in the price of discipline. And Jim Rohn, who many people know was one of my friends and mentors. One of my favorite, favorite quotes of his in life, you will either pay the price of discipline or you will pay the price of regret. Discipline weighs ounces. Regret weighs tons. And I made a commitment for my life. I don't want to leave anything on the table. I want to, I want to, I want to go. I'll fail forward, I'll learn, dust myself off, go again until I die. And so I want to just be the best version of me. And I know just enough about the human brain that I have so much potential that's unused and untapped. And I want to challenge and push and pull and stretch and get out of my comfort zone and keep breaking that comfort zone. Not just like health. Yes. Like, I want to ski at 83 and 93. I want to teach my grandchildren, which I promised my sons I would do. You know, when I was on a chairlift with my kids, I told you this the first time we met. I was 243 pounds, borderline diabetic, alcoholic, a sugar addict, fatty liver. And I was skiing with my kids. And after like an hour of skiing with them, I told them, I'm tired, I'm going inside. And my one son, Noah, you know, who was probably about three or four at the time, he says, oh, no, he was 12 at the time. Sorry. He says, papa, you're always tired. He said, I thought this was our vacation and you're going to have fun with us. And I said, noah, like, I'm tired, like I work hard, leave me alone. And then I caught myself. I caught myself in a story, in an excuse to My son, who I want to teach how to be the best version of himself. I said, honey, I'm sorry. I said, you know what? You're right. I looked at him. He was sitting on the chairlift with me. His brother was sitting next to him, who's a year and a half older. I said, I'm going to make you a promise, but I need a second to calculate something. I was calculating, calculating. I said, okay, here's the promise. You're 12 years old. I just did a calculation in my head that you're probably going to get married sometime between 25 and 30, and maybe you'll have kids two or three years later. So I've got to be ready to teach your children how to ski or snowboard when you are 33, which put me at somewhere between 65 and 70. That day. I got off the chairlift, took my mobile phone call. My. Sorry. Called my trainer in. Where was I? I think in la, maybe, or somewhere in. Maybe Vancouver. And I said, I've made a commitment. I need to get into the best shape of my life. I made my kids a promise that I will teach their children how to board or ski. And so I'm committing and making a promise to my children. Help me keep the promise. Went home, stopped drinking, stopped refined sugar, hired a personal trainer, changed my diet.
- [50:10]
A
From 20 years ago.
- [50:12]
B
Yeah, from 48. Not 40, not 20 years ago. From 48 to 50. It was like 15 years ago. From 48 to 50, I got into the best shape of my life. Stop alcohol, everything that I promised. I started to retrain my brain. Now, it didn't happen in a weekend. The decision happened in a minute. But the implementation took years to master. But I had a vision, I had goals, I had a commitment, and I had my promise to my son.
- [50:50]
A
That was the biggest inspiration right there.
- [50:52]
B
Yeah.
- [50:54]
A
And now you're in the shape that you need to be in now.
- [50:57]
B
I could teach. I. I can run circles around my kids now.
- [51:02]
A
Really?
- [51:02]
B
Yeah.
- [51:02]
A
Are they in great shape like you?
- [51:03]
B
They're in great shape.
- [51:05]
A
They. They learn from the best.
- [51:06]
B
We made a deal. I get you into great shape when your kids, they both played, you know, lacrosse and football, and you keep me in great shape when. When. When I'm an older man. And did you play basketball professionally? No, no, no. I played basketball in high school.
- [51:22]
A
Oh.
- [51:23]
B
I wanted to. You know, that was my. My dream. I wanted to play professionally, but I wasn't even remotely good enough. I mean, I thought I was good enough because I was good in my area.
- [51:33]
A
Yeah.
- [51:34]
B
My Area, right? The. The community center was my world. You know, I could dunk at 15 and I could jump and I could shoot, and I was very, very good in my area. Take me out of my area. I wouldn't have made it as a ball boy, you know, in most of the teams.
- [51:51]
A
So, man, it's, it's. It's fascinating. Like your, the story's fascinating, your. Your entire. The way you became who you are, the struggle and the triumph. Now, how does one implement a lot of this strategy now if they're going through a hardship? Download the app. What's the steps that one can take right now to immediately implement this sort of manifestation of mind growth?
- [52:19]
B
So first and foremost, if you're struggling or stuck or you're going through a hard time, first, understand it's temporary as long as you shift and change. So you cannot focus on what is right now. Like, think about this. When you, let's say, go get an X ray, right? A radiologist looks at the X ray and shows you, you know, a picture of. Usually, let's say you go because you need to see an X ray of something, of something that's happened because of the past. So you're seeing an image of now, but this now wasn't created because of this moment in time, right? So if you've fractured a rib or you broke a bone, it's not because of something happened this second. It happened during maybe a game or during an accident. So any circumstance now is because of something in the past. Would you agree the effect of now is because of something in the past? Maybe it was a thought process. The wrong strategy, the wrong environment, the wrong people, the wrong beliefs, the wrong habits. You're too scared, not scared enough. So everything that we're looking at now is an effect. We live in a world of effects. Now, you would never go to a mirror, right, and try to wipe off, you know, your hair on your face if you're a man, by razor blading the mirror, you'd have to shave your face. You wouldn't, like, try to change your hair in the mirror. You'd cut your hair or brush your hair. So any result right now is because of the past. Don't give it any energy if it's not what you want. Rather be aware of what the challenge is. And this is regardless of what level you've achieved in success or in your life. In any area, whatever is now is now because of the past. So now we want to use our prefrontal cortex, our left prefrontal cortex, specifically the what I call the Einstein part of the brain, the imagination, the deductive reasoning part of the brain. Do I want this or that? How come this, how come that? And then we say, okay, great, I want this. This is what I want in a day, a week, a month, a year. And you have to be realistic because you're not going to lose 30 pounds in one day if you've been fat for the last 10 years, unless you go get some surgery done to remove it. So. But if we want to make more money, we want to have a better relationship, we want to be healthier, we want to be whatever a different result. And we say, okay, here's the vision. What are some goals that I could set that are realistic for me to get off of repeating the same patterns and moving towards the result I want? Here's an example. How many people can jog a marathon right now? Could you jog a marathon right now?
- [55:12]
A
No.
- [55:12]
B
Neither could I. I'm in great shape. I cannot jog a marathon right now. But if we decided, let's jog a marathon together a year from now, we're going to raise our hands in victory. All right? Crossing the finish line together, four hours, five hours, six hours, who cares? But we're going to do a marathon. Would you agree that if we said, okay, Joe, today, let's go for a five minute walk. You in? Let's go. Let's research what should we eat? How much fat, how much carbohydrate, Complex carbohydrate. What do we stay off of? What do we need to add to our diet? How many calories do we need? When should we eat? We can figure that out, right? We can figure out how much exercise to do based on our skill level right now and what shape we're in, right? It might be, we start off with five minutes a day of walking. Then we might start a little jog for a quarter of a mile or half a mile. Then we might do a mile, then three miles and five miles. Could we learn our sleep patterns of how much rest we need? Could we learn when should we take get a massage? Could we learn everything we need to learn to jog safely a marathon a year from now?
- [56:17]
A
Of course.
- [56:18]
B
Of course. So first we start off with the decision that we want to do it and we set the vision for crossing the finish line. Then we set some goals. In one month, I'll be able to run one mile. In three months, I'll be able to run three miles. In six months, I'll get up to six miles. In nine months, I'll be able to do 10 miles. In 10 months, I'll be able to have 12 and 16 months. By race day I could do 26. We can chart that path. Then I say, well, what would you need to believe in order to do it? Well, I need to believe I can do it right. I need to believe that I'm not going to get injured. I need to believe that. Then what habits would you need to create? What would you need to stop? What would you need to start? So I don't care what your trauma is from the past, there's ways to overcome trauma. I don't care what, what failures you've had, what did you learn? The past does not equal the future. So it doesn't matter what has happened or is happening. Right now you have a hundred billion dollar brain, a bio computer that rivals any computer on the planet right now. So let's start using it on solutions. Let's start using it on being resourceful in the absence of resources. Let's start using it on coming up with how can I versus all the reasons why I can' let's start using it to learn how to manage my self talk. So it's empowering, positive, constructive, building me up. Let's start using it in a way to activate the right emotions which is the energy in motion in my body that moves me towards my goals and dreams instead of holds me hostage, keeping me stuck in my current patterns. And in some kinds, sometimes in a retroactive pattern, getting worse. So some of our habits, if we have the right, the wrong dietary habits and the, and the wrong eating patterns, it gets worse, it doesn't get better. So everybody who's watching or listening knows, let's say you're on a health train right now. Let's say you're on a money train, you're on a business train, you're on a relationship train. Are you on the right train? Are you on the right track and do you like the destination it's going to if the answer is oh, get the fuck off the train and let's reverse course and get on the right train. Sorry for swearing.
- [58:49]
A
No, you can swear.
- [58:50]
B
Do you understand?
- [58:51]
A
Absolutely.
- [58:52]
B
It's like we're not a damn tree. We can change, but stop long enough to be truthful with yourself and do a true north. Where am I really? On a scale of 1 to 10, where am I in my spiritual health and well being? If you want to measure that, which I do, where am I? My emotional health and well being measured, scale 1 to 10 and don't be afraid of the answer. It's like an X ray. Where am I on a scale of 110, you know, on my mindset, my mental well being. Where am I in a physical? Where am I in a relationship? Where am I in a career? Where am I in business? Where am I financially? Just write 0 to 10. 0 is like. It's horrific. Sucks. It's like nothing. Some people might be negative in some areas and then say where would I like to be in six months? Just six months. Can't go that far. Great. Where would I like to be in three months? Where I like to be a month from now? Like if I can make a few changes. Where could I be in a month if I was committed? I'm going to go back to where we started. Success is reserved for those who are committed, not interested. Because people who are interested will just come up with their stories and reasons and excuses. It's not the right time. I don't have enough money. It's too hot, it's too cold. I live in this place, I live in that place because of my ethnicity or because like stop it.
- [60:11]
A
Excuse after stop it.
- [60:12]
B
They have an inflammation disease of most people is called excusitis.
- [60:20]
A
I like that. You should coin that.
- [60:22]
B
It was coined by other people. I've been using it for probably 20 years. And then the drug of choice for many people. Do you know what that one is?
- [60:28]
A
No.
- [60:28]
B
Hopium. Hopium. I hope it gets better. I hope hope is great. Hope is great. It gives you something to look forward to. It doesn't disappoint with hope, you know, use. The law of Goya is get off your assaraf and do do something towards what you want to achieve.
- [60:49]
A
Get off your ass, Ref. Is that your coin term?
- [60:52]
B
Yeah, go get off your as fast because my last name.
- [60:55]
A
Yeah, but that's Goya.
- [60:56]
B
The law of Goya. I give all credit to that to Tommy Hopkins. 1982 circa or 1985 circa. Just get off your ass or get off your ass. Yeah, it was the Goya law of Goya now when the secret came out, right? You know, if you spell the word attraction, the law of attraction, the last six letters are action. Yeah, but I. But I don't agree with just action. Right. I've come to I guess get wise. There's a lot of people moving their feet, saying and doing the wrong things and they confuse activity with productivity. And so I have learned like for anything that I want to do now, I mean seriously, I seek out either the best expert in the World or now my new favorite expert. I go to Mr. Chatgpt and I say, act as my expert in, you know, hangnails. I don't care. Hangnails. Investing in Bitcoin. I just. I use a tool that we've never had.
- [62:06]
A
Yeah, I love this new.
- [62:07]
B
This new era mod for writing. You know, we teach an AI AI course a couple of times a month to all of our winning game of business coaching students who are building their small businesses. And so we're using AI to accelerate productivity, 5x10x20x to do a lot of the heavy lifting.
- [62:24]
A
Yeah, we use so much AI here.
- [62:26]
B
Yeah. You can have, you know, 20 employees for you for $20 a month by setting up your. My GPTs, you know, for the different things that you need.
- [62:34]
A
Crazy now, you know, you've created so much success. You like. How are you instilling the same level of mindset into your children?
- [62:44]
B
I don't. My children have seen me become who I am. My children have been introduced to the books, the mentors, sitting on my lap in meetings, in boardrooms, attending my events, hearing me during my keynotes or training. They have created, you know, customized inner sizes for themselves. They set goals. They have their own vision boards just because they want to. You want to hear a funny, funny story? You'll all love this story. When the Secret came out, my story about the vision board, a lot of people liked it. And I've been teaching my children. We've done vision boards from five years old, six years old, seven years old. They do it. Some years, they didn't want to do it. Other years and don't force them to do anything. And one year, like a year after the Secret came out, my son Noah, who again, was 2007, you know, 15 years ago or so, he's 27 now, so he's 12, 13. So he comes home, he used to call me Papa, and now he calls me Pops. Papa, Papa. I said, what, honey? He says, can we do a vision board this weekend? I said, well, yeah, of course. I go like, why do you want to do this this week? He says, oh, Jack's mother says they work. He was at his friend's house. His mother, who saw the movie, put a vision board together, told her son that vision boards work. And my son comes home, tell me he wants to put a vision board together because Jack's mother told him to.
- [64:23]
A
See, it's always a third party validation.
- [64:25]
B
It's all right. They've listened. They know what I'm into. What was really interesting.
- [64:32]
A
Kids could Use vision boards. You think little children?
- [64:35]
B
Of course, why not? Why wouldn't you want to activate that imagination center and occipital lobe and then teach them? What do you need to believe to achieve these goals? What do you, how would you need to think? How would you overcome problems? How did you solve, you know, the issues that are going to come between here and this bike or the here and this. This.
- [64:54]
A
So what would go on a child's vision board or like they want, why.
- [64:59]
B
Not do it for health and, and do it if they, if they want to? Like when my kids wanted something when, when they were growing up, when I kids would say, hey, daddy, can we get a bike? I said, of course you can. Which half do you want to pay for, the front half or the back half? I would give them whatever you want. A Ferrari, son. Sure, I'll pay for half of it, but you have to earn the other half.
- [65:21]
A
So they just go, they print pictures, they put it on there.
- [65:24]
B
Whatever they want. Whatever they want. Like, why would you limit a child's perfect imagination? We learn, we unlearn to imagine. And that's one of the most powerful parts of our brain. We are born with a perfect imagination. And then it's like, hey, stop daydreaming. Stop doing that. Come back here.
- [65:47]
A
Ooh, ooh.
- [65:48]
B
Or say, you know, I have this vision, I have this goal. It's like, come on, get back to, back to what you're doing. We dumb kids down. We have. Us adults have to re fire to rewire our brains.
- [66:02]
A
We have to tap into our childhood now.
- [66:04]
B
Well, and children, we just have to help them make up their minds. If you asked either one of my sons, what do you think you could achieve? Both of my sons would answer, whatever I put my mind to and commit to, Period. You want to travel the world? Of course I could. You want to make a million dollars in a month? Of course I could. Now you choose. But then back up your choices with what would you need to believe? What would you need? What skill would you need? Whose help would you need? What habits would you need? What would your plan be? What would your behavior need to be? Like, what would you do when you.
- [66:42]
A
Had obstacles for those listening right now? How would they start? With a vision board. Like, what would you instruct them to do to get started setting up a vision board?
- [66:54]
B
I like to say, if you could wave a magic wand, you could have the health that you wanted. What would it look like? What would you, what would your body look like? How much energy would you have? How many hours would you sleep? What would your stress level be? If you could manage your emotions, which you can, if you could focus your mindset, if you could release your disempowering, negative self talk or self deprecating talk, what would that be like? How would you feel? Put it on a vision board. Get images of you and your best self. If you could drive any car you wanted to, because maybe cars are important to you, you could fly business class or first class instead of coach. If you could travel the different places in the world, cut pictures of it, put it down. If you could bless you. If you could earn $10,000 day or a month or a year, put it down. So see it. Activate one of the biggest parts, your brain called the occipital lobe. See it and so do it. For health, for wealth, for relationship, for career, for business, for charity, for fun, for experiences, right? Those are all the things that make up our life, or my life anyway. And I have goals and visions for every one of those area. For my children, how I want to be with them, for my wife, for my friends, for my contribution to the world. I know what it looks like. And so you set off the vision. And the vision is something that you see yourself experiencing, doing, having, being sometime in the future. And then we back off and say, okay, now let's set some goals on our way to there. So you and I are in Southern California right now. If you and I said, want to go to New York for the weekend. Yeah, that's the goal. We would then say, okay, are we going by car, airplane, train? Are we going to ride there by bike? We're going to choose, like how are we going to go there, right? So the how always comes after the what. So we want to go to New York, we want to have a great time, want to go see some plays, we want to go to Broadway, we want to eat some killer restaurants. We want, we want to go walk Central park, we want to go see, you know, whatever we want to do. That's kind of like the vision. So you get all the emotions of the vision. And we might put a picture of New York City on there and the different places we want to go see and the different restaurants we want to go see. Right? And then we say, great, when do we want to go to New York? We want that to be, you know, this year, next year, the year after, sometime in the future. And then we come back to today, to this moment, and all we do is we map chart. If you and I want to go to New York, right Now we want to drive. We hop into your car or my car, and all we need to do is put it in a gps. But let's say the GPS isn't working. We know it's east. We know New York from here is east. So we can actually get in the car, right? And we can use our mobile phone or our car navigation system and say, go east. And then we go, let's say 10 miles east. We can actually open our window, say to somebody, hey, everyone, can you just point me east so I can keep going? I'm going to New York. Can you give me the roadmap? They go, oh, get on Highway 5. Take that for about 200 miles. Thank you. Get on there, go 200 miles. 200 miles from that, guess what we do? Stop at a gas station, hey, I'm going to New York. Can you just point me in the right direction or show me a map on the highway? Too many people think that because they want to go X and they don't have the map, they can't go and make progress towards that. Like says whom? If you go in your car and it's pitch black at night and you go 100 yards, you can see a hundred yards further once you get to the hundred yards. So all we have to do is chunk it into pieces that we can see ourselves. Now, for somebody who's experienced, they could say, we want to put, you know, a man on the moon and bring them back to Earth. Or somebody says, I want to put, you know, I want to colonize Mars. I don't know how to do it, but we can figure it out. But for somebody who's not used to having big goals and visions, we have to bring it back to bite sizable chunks to reduce the cognitive stress that not having the knowledge and skills and the strategies creates. In the absence you remember, there's only four things hold us back. The fourth one is my lack of knowledge and skills creates stress because the demand is exceeding my capacity right now. Right. Stress happens when demand exceeds capacity. Let's reduce the demand to what is, what is your capacity? Can you get from here to there? Oh, I can do that. Good. Go over there. When you get there, we'll talk about the next step. So we break everything down into doable chunks. Can you get this done today? Yes. Start with that. A lot of people that enter into my coaching programs, some have, some have built my top students has built a billion dollar a year revenue company. But I have plenty of students that are a million a year or 100,000 a year, but some of them are 20,000 a year and they don't know how to achieve 100,000 right now. So we say, great, let's help you plan for what that lifestyle is like. Let's then help you develop. What would you need to believe? What would your self image and identity need to be? Turn 100,000 or 250,000 or 500,000 in order for you to be in the best shape of your life? Like, what does that look like? Let's start with the vision. Then we could back up into now. What do we want to do today? All we need to focus on is today. You don't want to focus on today. What could do in the next hour? You want to get in shape so you can run a marathon a year from now, can you get up and down with me like five times? Great. Let's just do that. Great. You just built your self trust muscle. You just built your confidence muscle. You just released dopamine. If we do it together and we shared with other people, we've released serotonin, we've released oxytocin in the brain, all the bonding neurochemicals, and we have a motive to do it again. So a big goal is always broken down into smaller goals and we always meet the goal where we are, and then we just, we make progress. And when we're building habits, I teach this concept of first you build the habit, then the habit will build you. Because habits control 95% of our daily thoughts, emotions and behaviors. So we start off with small habits that are simple and easy, and then we learn complexity afterwards, like building blocks. So simple and easy first to get going. When we get momentum, we can add complexity.
- [73:55]
A
Now, John, I got a couple last questions I'd like to close the show with. It's what's a personal goal that you have for yourself? This is right in line with what we're talking about. Yeah, a family goal that you have and a goal for the business. And there's multiple. There's neurogym, there's Inner Size. And I know you have big goals for Inner Size.
- [74:15]
B
I do. So for Inner Size, I want a million people inner sizing daily on the Inner Size app. My goal for that is to be the number one mindset coaching and mental fitness training app that's powered by AI and humans. It's not just AI AI to help with some of the stuff that AI can do. But I love to learn face to face with people or on podcasts or, you know, live. So AI plus.
- [74:47]
A
So there's a lot more to inner Size than just, like, mindset. There's so much to it.
- [74:51]
B
There's the mindset piece, there's the experts in there.
- [74:54]
A
I want to, like, now that you're here, I'm going to have you walk me through, like, what are your favorite parts of the app? Just because, like, yeah, I'm just like, I go in there and I just clicked, like, what do you want to improve? I'm like, I just checked every box.
- [75:04]
B
Wow. Well, we have health, wealth relations, career, business. We.
- [75:08]
A
And we all need improvement in all of them.
- [75:10]
B
That's like.
- [75:10]
A
Like I said, I just checked every box. Then it just fed me so much content. I'm like, where do I start?
- [75:14]
B
Yeah, well, it has a start here button as well. But I'll show you that my life has been around, seeing how I can be the best version of me in every area of my life. Spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, financial, and then contribution and then fun and experiences as well. So on the business front, I want, you know, neurogym to be the leader in the world in neuro fitness. Inner size is what we are giving the world to. Inner Size to strengthen what I call your neuromuscles. So your belief in yourself, your self esteem, your self worth, your self image, your belief that you can do it, your confidence, your certainty. Neuromuscles managing fear and turning fear into fuel, learning how to upgrade your knowledge and skills, learning how to release disempowering habits and create and reinforce new ones because we are creatures of habit. So those are all the things that I want the inner size app and neurogym to do. That ties deeply into my personal goal, is to unequivocally know that I am using my life in a way that I am proud of, God is proud of. That leaves a mark for other people to enrich their lives, to honor and respect life. I mean, like, I think life is such a gift. It's like, it blows my mind how. How spectacular. The other night, my son Noah was at our home. We have dinner every Wednesday night together, and he was at my house. Oh, I'm sorry. On Sunday, we went for a hike and we were. We were standing at the top of Torrey Pines and he puts his arm around me and I noticed the sun was hitting the back of my head and I was looking out at the ocean and he's just holding me. He's about 6 foot 3, just a beautiful young man. He's holding me. The sun is hitting my head. I'm looking at the ocean. Above where I was just looking up there, the moon was there. And I was just thinking, noah, you know what one of my favorite things in the world is? He goes, yeah, papa, I know. The moon is there. The sun is behind you on your head. And we're on this rock, spinning in this orbital circuit around the sun. And the magic of it all, we're spinning at dizzying speeds in this elliptical orbit, 17,000 miles an hour. And I am standing there with my son, looking at the ocean. We're not being thrown off of this planet because the moon and its gravitational pull on the Earth. And I'm alive, breathing hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen and carbon in this thing called air that's giving me life. That ocean is the water that is evaporating, desalinating, and I drink it to sustain my life. That's a miracle. I'm a miracle. You're a miracle. Everybody listening and watching is a miracle. So appreciating that and making sure I don't squander my life. Part two. I want to contribute in as many ways as possible to people's lives, to animals, to our environment, to our ecosystem while I'm alive. I just. That's just. That's just something I cannot fathom. Being on my deathbed, thinking I wasted life. I just can't. I can't. I can't imagine how sad I would be. And so every day, I want to trade my life for what my life is worthy of. And that's to do the very best I can. For me, to set an example. Like I said earlier, I was a sugar addict. I was an alcoholic. I was £243. I've been broke. I've had a lot of challenges in my life. I was involved in a street gang doing illegal stuff. And I know that my lessons were to teach me about me so that AI could be the best version of me. For me, not for my mother, father, sister, brother, wife, kids. For me. And as a result of that, they may see something in themselves that will spark, okay, a motive for action. And as a result of that, they will achieve a result that will have a ripple effect in other people's lives. So I've been given some gifts of taking complex stuff and synthesizing it so that I can understand it, because that's what I needed. And then teach it and share it with people. But then to create the programs, products, services, coaching to lift people up and to show them how spectacular they are in a totally humble way. And if I can accomplish those things while I'm alive, oh, man. That's like wow for me. That's my big wow.
- [80:35]
A
Let's go. You're gonna. You're doing it.
- [80:36]
B
That's my wow.
- [80:37]
A
Now, my final question. When you're in front of the pearly gates, what do you think God's gonna tell you?
- [80:44]
B
I love you.
- [80:45]
A
I love that. What a great closure. What a great. What a great answer.
- [80:51]
B
Yeah. I love you.
- [80:52]
A
You've done. You've done great work.
- [80:54]
B
Thank you.
- [80:54]
A
Done great work. You continue to inspire. I'm a fan.
- [80:58]
B
Thank you.
- [80:58]
A
I hope you've gained more fans today.
- [81:00]
B
I hope so.
- [81:01]
A
I hope many are inspired to create vision boards to improve their life. To try to get a six pack by 63, you got a lot of time. If you're 19, 19 is easy. Yeah, 19, you should all have. Yeah, yeah. But I'm saying from 19 to 63, you have plenty of time to get a six. I'm just kidding.
- [81:20]
B
I've had plenty of, you know, plenty of times. I was in shape, out of shape, in shape, out of shape. In shape, out of shape. And as you get older, it's just much more important. Yeah. You know, it's important, you know, for people in their 50s and 60s to maintain muscle mass, which usually, you know, goes in a retroactive pattern, and we deplete muscle bone density. So there's a lot of things that are important, but it also, you know, health, energy, vitality is important to my life because of how I want to live it. I really don't care how old I get. I just care what's the quality of my life as I age. I want to have a life that I'm living, not existing in. You know, I saw both my mother and father in their. In their 70s, 80s, and 90s. Like, you know, vegetates in front of the television and not be able to be mobile and. And like, it's. They showed me exactly what I do not want.
- [82:21]
A
Yeah.
- [82:22]
B
And I'll do my very best to just do what's best for me, for what I'm proud of, for what makes me feel good. And if I inspire other people along the way, then wonderful. If I don't, that's okay, too. I'm doing it for me. You know, what's really interesting is my wife has worked out a lot when we were younger. She's 53, I'm 63, and she's gotten into Pilates, and now she's gotten into water aerobics, and she walks with two canes. She had severe scoliosis when she was a little girl and had major back surgery five years ago where they put two rods and eight screws in her back. But she started exercising, working out again and eating great. And she feels and looks phenomenal. And she's an inspiration to lot of people that, you know, she's friends with. So, you know, my little spark might light her little spark, which lights other people's sparks. And if we lift each other up as we climb, if we don't pretend that everything's all great all the time, because it's not, it's called life, but it's what we do during the times that they're great and we lift other people up and we allow other people to lift us up when we need help, but also that we lift ourselves up and we participate in the rescue. That's what inspires people. And there's too many things that are expiring us to fast right now. And so I think we need to do more things to inspire us, instill spirit into us. And the Inner Size app is one of those things that I want to give it to the world as a gift. And there is a monthly or a yearly investment to make in that, but I'm going to have thousands and thousands of different inner sizes for athletes, for moms, for postpartum, for kindergarten kids, for fear of ladybugs or fear of flying or fear of success or fear of failing. They're all going to be in there. There's already 550 of them in there now. And so that's. That's my. That's the Give the world. Yeah.
- [84:26]
A
Well, there you go. Thank you, John. Thanks for coming on the show. It's been a blessing and an honor to have you much. John Asro. Make sure you subscribe to Inner Eyes. Check him out. He is an absolute legend.
- [84:37]
B
Thank you.
- [84:38]
A
All right.
- [84:39]
B
Thank you, John.
- [84:40]
A
Thank you, John. Awesome, awesome show today.
- [84:42]
B
Thank you.