Comedy Bang Bang: 2025 Holiday Spectacular!

Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Jason Mantzoukas, Paul F. Tompkins, Lily Sullivan, Anna Bezahler, Isabella Escalante, Dan Lippert, Lauren Lapkus, Gil Ozeri
Release Date: December 15, 2025

Episode Overview

Scott Aukerman hosts the 2025 Holiday Spectacular of Comedy Bang Bang, joined by an all-star cast of improvisers and recurring characters. The episode blends surreal holiday merriment with absurd games, oddball character appearances, and running jokes about family, shopping, sperm results, soup-based Christmas traditions, and bizarre product pitches. Relentlessly silly and highly energetic, it's a glorious mess of holiday chaos and comedic inventiveness.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. The Annual Catchphrase and Show Longevity (01:16–03:54)

• Scott opens with a submitted catchphrase, revealing some get read years later.
• Jason Mantzoukas jokes about listeners’ burnout:

  "People only listen for two year increments and then they drop it." (02:41, Mantzoukas)

• Playful banter about whether holiday catchphrase submitter Mark C. Holden is "still alive, still a listener."

2. Holiday Plans and Traditions (03:54–11:13)

• Jason and Scott riff on holiday decor, with Jason only now putting up a tree and making jokes about being a "last minute guy" for gifts, buying presents at the "suburban Maine mall."
  • “I’m bored of the gourd, so now I’m going straight to the tree, baby.” (08:09, Mantzoukas)
• The two lament the perils of shopping on Christmas Eve, accidental movie theater gift certificates, and whether stores should be open “always.”

3. The Merman Dilemma & Absurd Would-You-Rathers (11:33–16:24)

• Scott:

  "Would you like to be a man, baby, with human legs, or a merman for the rest of your life?" (11:35, Aukerman)

• Jason:

  "I need to know if this is a benevolent God or some kind of trickster god. Who’s a Loki?" (12:02, Mantzoukas)

• Extended riff as both explore options of living as mermen on land or in sea and the complications of propagating a “race of mermen with human legs.”

4. Holiday Message from “RFK Jr.” (17:08–32:01)

• Paul F. Tompkins as RFK Jr. returns, fielding questions about worms, his best friend (“a hunk of coyote haunch”), living arrangements, and health.
• Boasts:

  “I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been and the healthiest anyone has ever been.” (17:55, RFK Jr./Tompkins)

• Satirical wellness warnings:
  • “Don’t drink apple juice, okay? Even squeezed.” (21:13)
  • “The adhesive in Band-Aids causes lesbianism.” (20:58)
  • “Never drink milk unless you’re drinking it directly from an udder—it causes crib death in adults.” (23:52)
  • "Gingerbread is absolutely toxic for you, and you shouldn’t build a home out of it.” (26:49)
• Delivers a deeply unsettling “peace of mind” Christmas message:

  “Your open mouth awaiting my harvest... Drink from me, love. I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth... I am a river, you are my canyon...” (30:30–30:55, RFK Jr.)

  • Scott immediately calls out that this was, in fact, a sensual message to "Nunzi," a fictional mistress, not a holiday greeting. (31:03)

5. Fitness Moment: Krendle, Boy Mom/Peloton Instructor (32:12–43:57)

• Krendle storms in, cranking up imaginary Peloton resistance and exhorting everyone to “get your asses up, boys.”
• Reveals obsessive devotion to her son:

  “I’m in a serious relationship with my son, Braxton...I’m obsessed with my son...He said, ‘Mom, Christmas isn’t about giving or love or family. It’s about you.’” (33:53, Krendle)

• Shares Scott’s sperm results:

  “Jesus Christ didn’t give Scott the best sperm out there. I mean, his sperm is bad.” (42:02, Krendle)

• Krendle claims her goal is to harvest sperm from every man in the world, store it in the Peloton “bank,” and be their “boy mom.” (35:36)
• Relentless parody of “fitspo” culture and overbearing parent cliché.
• Jason’s take:

  “Pretty soon, that’s all we’re going to be able to harvest in America—just our sperm.” (35:32, Mantzoukas)

6. Gift Time: Austin & Tony Return with CoolDickShoes (54:12–76:33)

• Audience-favorite teen entrepreneurs Austin & Tony deliver custom “Cool Dick Shoes” as a present.
• Share their new business pitch, detailing their string of overambitious and misguided websites (from “CoolDickShoes.com” to “WeSellPrintersNotDickShoes.com”).
• They present a detailed PowerPoint website (scottdickshoes.com) of why Scott and Jason should wear the shoes everywhere, including the Oscars and a barn:

  “We’re two dick guys in debt...and we want to work with Scott. No mention of Jason.” (70:01, Austin & Tony)

• Hilarious “shark tank” style negotiation ensues, ending with advice to mark up shoes by 35% and offer “promo code CBB in my ass.”

7. New Character Chaos: Soup da Claus and the Rogues Gallery (76:47–95:00)

• Soup da Claus (Dan Lippert): A Christmas figure from “pre-Christian times,” claims Santa is a rip-off and delivers soup based on how naughty or nice you’ve been.

  “The number one responsibility [on Soupsmas] is to make sure everyone gets a big or small bowl of soup depending on if they were naughty or nice.” (80:24)

• Reveals he “was there when Jesus had his moment of doubt and faith” and, in a shock twist, confesses, “I did [crucify Jesus]. He stole my holiday.” (90:27)
• Surreal, escalating riffs spiral into Soup da Claus’ resentment at not being in scripture or Passion of the Christ.
• The rogues gallery: Mirror Master, Supesness Monster (Soup’s Loch Ness–like nemesis), among others.

8. Guest Parade and Holiday Absurdity (103:08–123:24)

• Ho Ho, the Naughty Elf (Lapkus), crashes in to deliver “naughty” gifts, including tongues and dog piss in repurposed Pokeballs.
• Santa drops by via phone for some unresolved iPad porn history beef with Ho Ho and to field Austin’s business proposal for “dick shoes” endorsement (agrees, but only after the Epiphany on January 7).
• Worm Brain lore: RFK Jr. and Ho Ho both have literal worms in their brains, leading to the worms having their own conversations and even “making out.”
• Overlapping, Looney Tunes–style interplay with Soup da Claus, Ho Ho, Santa, and the teens.

9. Running Gags & Recurring Segments

• Shimmy, the possibly alien friend—pops in and out with unexplained lore.
• Braxton Love—Krendle’s over-the-top “boy mom” routine, always circling back to her 22-month-old son.
• Product pitch parodies—sperm banks, protein powder up the ass, band-aids, and "gaped and gumped" Peloton stuff.
• Sexual confusion and myths—RFK Jr. and Krendle distribute dubious sex facts (“Women don’t need to come. There’s no such thing as a clitoris. It’s just a theory.” (76:10, RFK Jr.))
• Holiday “safety” tips—Santa warnings ("don't leave cookies for Santa, what if he's real?") and Christmas tree hazards (exploding, storing water to spit at you).

10. The DeLuca’s Chop House Automated Reservation (124:04–135:51)

• An extended surreal phone tree bit where Scott attempts to confirm his bizarre midnight Christmas Eve restaurant reservation for 50 people, only to be forced through an ever-escalating, AI–nightmare interactive menu.
• Along the way, he’s forced to listen to his own (cringe-inducing) “SNL audition” and mortifying doctor’s voicemail about a “hump” with a pulsating “hole.”
• The mysterious “Lemon Pfeiffer” riddle returns from previous episodes, only to be denied.
• Concludes: “You get nothing, Scott. You lose. Good day, sir.” (135:19, automated system)

11. Plugs and Goodbyes (136:42–144:49)

• Standard plugs, with Jason Mantzoukas plugging Percy Jackson S2, Netflix’s Man on the Inside, and Taskmaster.
• Worm plugs the live Varietopia show.
• Soup da Claus plugs the “King Cockroach” streams on Twitch.
• Santa’s self-reflection:

  “Every year I’m on the naughty list. Every year I try to be better...but I’m my own harshest critic.” (122:05, Santa)

• Final joke plugs include the automated DeLuca’s Chop House urging listeners to watch Heathcliff on YouTube.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Your open mouth awaiting my harvest... I am a river, you are my canyon.”
  —RFK Jr./Tompkins, reading a wildly inappropriate "holiday message" (30:30)
• “I’m in a serious relationship with my son, Braxton. Every day with him is a blessing.”
  —Krendle (33:53)
• “Women don’t need to come. There’s no such thing as a clitoris. It’s just a theory.”
  —RFK Jr. (76:10)
• “We want you gaped and gumped. We want you gooning!”
  —Krendle leading a Peloton “workout” (53:25)
• “Don't ever let not knowing what you're doing prevent you from doing it.”
  —RFK Jr.’s dubious advice to young entrepreneurs (67:26)
• “The soup you give is the soup you get.”
  —Soup da Claus (86:41)
• “Do you put yourself on the naughty and nice list?”
  —Aukerman to Santa (122:02)
• “I can't have port wine cheese in the house, because I'll eat the entire tub in one sitting.”
  —Santa (120:24)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Catchphrase & Longevity: 01:16–03:54
• Holiday Chat (Decor, Gifts, Burnout): 03:54–11:13
• Absurd Would-You-Rathers: 11:33–16:24
• RFK Jr. Holiday Message/Wellness: 17:08–32:01
• Krendle Peloton Routine & Boy Mom: 32:12–43:57
• Austin & Tony: CoolDickShoes Gift: 54:12–76:33
• Soup da Claus & Christmas Lore: 76:47–95:00
• Guest Parade / Holiday Absurdity: 103:08–123:24
• DeLuca’s Chop House Reservation Bit: 124:04–135:51
• Plugs & Farewells: 136:42–144:49

Summary Tone

The episode is unabashedly anarchic, densely reference-packed, and driven by rampant improvisation. The cast leverages classic CBB tropes—celebrity misbehavior, meta-commentary on podcasts, and stretching bits to surreal breaking points—while maintaining warmth and festive absurdity throughout.

Aukerman and Mantzoukas anchor the chaos with quick banter, while characters (and their recurring obsessions—sperm, soup, over-parenting, gooning, fake wellness) stack and collide for holiday nonsense that’s equal parts joyful and profane.

This episode is a wild, festive marathon—a holiday meal where the dishes are half soup, half baffling promotional pitch, and all hilarious. If you missed it, you now have a full menu of its antics, straight from the plug bag to your holiday table.