A Segway Three Way (Adam Pally, Rekha Shankar, Casey Feigh)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "A Segway Three Way"

Date: October 13, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Adam Pally, Rekha Shankar (as Barbara & Brittany Toadfelson), Casey Feigh (as Bort McSpoon)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang features host Scott Aukerman welcoming actor and comedian Adam Pally, whose new HBO comedy special "An Intimate Evening with Adam Pally" has just been released. The show proceeds with characteristic meta-comedy, mock-hostility, deep-dive absurdity, and the arrival of eccentric characters: the forced twins Barbara and Brittany Toadfelson (Rekha Shankar) and the grieving (and suspicious) "idea man" Bort McSpoon (Casey Feigh). The group discusses Adam's career, the making and uniqueness of his special, the weird world of twin branding, and a murder mystery involving a Segway and porn-addled alibis. The comedic chemistry is high with classic CBB detours, mutual ribbing, and improvisational genius.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Adam Pally’s Special and Career

• [02:14–05:58] Adam’s Early Work & Twix Commercials
  • Pally’s first professional gig was a Twix commercial, which required him to eat so many Twix bars that he now associates Halloween candy with mild disgust.
    • "It goes away after the third Twix. I still—Halloween is a nightmare." (Adam Pally, 03:31)
  • Light roasting from Scott about Pally's CV, e.g. misremembered character names and "web series" career status.
• [09:09–16:46] "An Intimate Evening with Adam Pally": Conception & Execution
  • Pally explains his unusual process, emphasizing the anti-traditional, hybrid nature of the HBO special: part stand-up hour, part behind-the-scenes documentary, and part musical performance. Scott both compliments and gently undercuts it, jokingly calling it "padded" and "unique," leading to comic bickering.
    • “It’s a very unique special… You wouldn't say, 'Oh this is the best thing that's ever existed.'” (Scott, 10:32; Adam, 10:47)
  • The challenge: Pally performed radically different sets each night, with different jokes, guests, and songs—most of which couldn't be cleared for copyright in the special.
• [16:53] Advice from Chris Rock
  • Pally recounts dinner with Chris Rock prior to starting his live shows: Rock advises it takes ten years to "get good" at comedy—Pally jokes it took him only six months.
• [24:36] The Making of the Special
  • Behind-the-scenes challenges, missing rights for performances, and Pally’s DIY, chaotic approach (e.g., carrying his own guitars).

Notable Quotes:

• "The special is me trying to figure out a reason why I would want to do a special." (Adam Pally, 11:12)
• "You seem to have been failing upwards your entire career." (Scott Aukerman, 18:34)

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2. Classic CBB Banter—Friendship, Music, and Industry Talk

• [07:02–09:14] Friendship & Springsteen Memories
  • Pally and Scott reminisce drunkenly about seeing Bruce Springsteen and Prince live, poking fun at fuzzy memories and shared mishaps.
• [21:06–22:28] Method Acting…and Weight Gain
  • Pally tells a humiliating story about gaining weight for a biopic role—only for the project to be cancelled and revived during the pandemic.
• [29:03] Marvel-ous Cameos
  • Anecdotes about working with Shane Black and Robert Downey Jr. on "Iron Man 3."
    • "He was like, I can't stay away from that red light district… and I was like, we’re in Wilmington, North Carolina." (Adam Pally, 28:12)

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3. Enter the Forced Twins: Barbara & Brittany Toadfelson

• [37:45–54:00]
  • Introduction to Barbara and the bizarre, barely-living “twin” Brittany—products of their mother's obsession with having twins, achieved via medical embryo-splitting and improvisational surgery.
  • The resulting "forced twins" are physically mismatched: Barbara has her own head and torso, while Brittany seems cobbled together, including a possibly celebrity-donated horse’s head (or Jerry Garcia's?).
  • Bit on twin branding, twin math, and twin representation in media ("The Parent Trap," "The Shining"), with satirical takes on disability, medical ethics, and the showbiz-industrial complex.
• Branding as “twins in the biz” (54:26–56:13):
  • "We do branding deals for twin stuff. You know, like matching shirts, same size... exclusively at twins." (Barbara, 55:30)

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4. Character Mayhem: Bort (Robort) McSpoon, the Idea Man with a Tragic (and Suspicious) Past

• [66:08–86:15] "Bathroom Breaks, Bad Alibis, and the Segway Three Way Murder"
  • Bort arrives late—he’s been in Scott’s bathroom, learning that his wife died in a "triple Segway" accident and perusing both Star Wars soap and RedTube pornography.
  • The group interrogates his story, leading to mounting (comic) suspicion that Bort, not his wife, orchestrated the Segway incident.
  • Bort pitches questionable TV and cartoon ideas (e.g., a game show about identifying disgusting sweat-stained pillows, a single-panel "everyone wears the same jeans" cartoon), which are met with mock-disdain and mock-support.
  • Interlude of pseudo-investigation—group conspiratorially agrees Bort must be the murderer; Bort eventually confesses with deadpan acceptance.
    • "Even if that's factually accurate, why would you say that on your podcast?" (Bort, 85:24)

Notable Bit:

• “You ever look at your pillow? Pause the podcast, go look at your pillow and tell me you're not disgusted.” (Bort, 77:09)

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5. Plugs and Close ([87:05–94:50])

• Adam Pally:
  • HBO special "An Intimate Evening with Adam Pally" (premiering Thursday)
  • “Staying Alive” podcast with Jon Gabrus.
• Barbara & Brittany:
  • Announce partnership on Bort’s dating game show idea, plus plug Rekha Shankar’s upcoming movie and BTS Zooms (reikamovie.com).
• Bort McSpoon:
  • Tries to plug “holy shit improv” shows in Australia and LA (improv in the dark!).
• Scott Aukerman:
  • Comedy Bang Bang action figures, new Bob Ducca merch, etc.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On Adam’s special:

  • “It is impressive to have something come out that hasn't been done before.”
  • “Again, not a compliment.” (Scott & Adam, 11:02)

• On twin representation:

  • "Twins are not popular in the media. People think we're a threat." (Barbara, 56:48)

• On murder suspicion:

  • "I think he definitely killed his wife." (Adam, 83:19)
  • "I was the fourth Segway." (Bort, 85:53)

• Pure CBB meta banter:

  • "At Comedy Bang Bang, not only do we care, but we also know disability…" (Scott, 44:06)

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• 00:59 — Show intro, Scott and Adam Pally
• 07:02 — Bruce Springsteen/Prince concert reminiscence
• 09:09 — Discussion about Adam Pally's unique comedy special
• 21:06 — Pally and acting/weight stories
• 29:03 — Iron Man 3 anecdote
• 37:30 — Introduction of Barbara & Brittany, the “forced twins”
• 54:26 — Twin business/branding talk
• 66:08 — Bort McSpoon, idea man, murder mystery
• 77:09 — The "sweaty pillow" game show pitch
• 83:05 — Group agrees Bort likely murdered his wife
• 87:05 — Plugs segment
• 92:22 — Closing remarks and special thanks

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Tone and Style

• Playful hostility, good-natured ribbing: Scott and Adam’s repartee is teeming with undermining jokes cloaked in faux sincere commentary.
• Absurdist character improvisation: Each character’s backstory grows increasingly ridiculous—esp. Barbara/Brittany’s origin, Bort’s alibi and subsequent confession.
• Meta-podcast and TV industry satire: Running jokes about TV rating systems, podcast plugs, industry math, and self-aware lampooning of the very medium.
• Surreal escalation: What starts as a plug for Adam’s special explodes into a subplot about twins, horse heads, and a Segway triple murder.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you haven’t listened to this episode, expect a classic, free-wheeling Comedy Bang Bang experience:

• Scott Aukerman welcomes Adam Pally for a hilariously backhanded “hardball” conversation about his offbeat HBO stand-up special.
• The conversation spirals as absurdist characters appear: forced-twin sisters with a horrifying surgical backstory and a perhaps-murderous, idea-pitching freak, all contributing to the show’s trademark anarchic group improv.
• Beneath the bits, you’ll find industry in-jokes, open mockery of plug culture, and performer friendships that let the chaos flourish.
• Major highlights include Adam’s stories of commercial drudgery and celebrity advice, sustained absurdity about twins and twin math, and a murder confession accidentally emerged through porn-themed alibi talk.
• In the end, the show leaves everyone (except the murderer) intact, plugging their creative projects and promising more mayhem for future episodes.

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Key Quotes for Quick Flavor:

"You seem to have been failing upwards your entire career."
(Scott, 18:34)

"Twins are not popular in the media. People think we're a threat."
(Barbara, 56:48)

"Even if that's factually accurate, why would you say that on your podcast?"
(Bort, 85:24)

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Highly Recommended for: Fans of improv chaos, long-form character comedy, behind-the-scenes Hollywood talk, and meta-podcast self-parody.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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Every Mazda SUV offers you an elevated.

[Adam Pally]

Driving experience and refined performance. Discover it at your local Mazda dealer today.

[Scott Aukerman]

91 1, what's your emergency?

Got tornadoes coming right at us.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Listen to the wind blow.

[Adam Pally]

ABC Thursdays, the 911 universe expands to Nashville. A fire out of that tornado two.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Miles from executive producer Ryan Murphy.

[Adam Pally]

Get everyone you can and send them out here now. Chris o', Donnell, Jessica Capshaw, Kimberly Williams Paisley, Leanne Rhymes.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

We are on the move the hell to save kid.

[Adam Pally]

911 Nashville. All new Thursdays, 98 Central on ABC and Streamyard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Next day on Hulu. Are you down to clown or are you just happy to drown? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you so much to VAV Dog for that catchphrase submission. Thanks VAV Dog and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. I think that was submitted on January 17th of 2023. Just getting around to it, but thank you so much VAV Dog, and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Aukerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang and we have a very exciting show for you today. Coming up a little later, we have a set of twins Twans. We also have an idea man that's very exciting. But first, let's turn to our first guest who comes to us from the world of entertainment and he's been entertaining us now for professionally. What was your first professional job where you got paid to do what you do so well?

[Adam Pally]

I was in a Twix commercial.

[Scott Aukerman]

A Twix commercial?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you. Were you giving or receiving? Meaning were you eating the Twix or.

[Adam Pally]

Were you giving it to some standard? I don't know if that's the standard question for Twix commercials or the. For the exchange of the Twix, but I was both. I was versatile.

[Scott Aukerman]

You really. So you gave someone to Twix and then also.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, the campaign. The campaign was actually like really quite annoying to shoot because it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything is annoying.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, but like I was the. This guy, this like bumbling guy and I would get into these awkward situations where it would pause and then I would eat a Twix.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you're pausing. Like Saved by the Bell. I've only seen one episode kind of.

[Adam Pally]

But then the audience could pick what I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

The audience watching the commercial.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Well, it was like a webish series. And then. And so in that time that, that they're picking what I want to do. I'm chewing on the Twix.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you had to chew it for as long as.

[Adam Pally]

As long as anyone could ever take. Yeah. So it's like there were, like, in each day, after we'd wrap a scene, they'd be like, twix shot. And then I'd have to stand in front of a green screen and eat twix for like, 40 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, dear.

[Adam Pally]

It was awful.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's. I mean, when you're a kid, that sounds like a.

[Adam Pally]

A dream, but, like, it goes away after the third Twix. Like, I still. Halloween is a nightmare. I still like that smell of a Twix. And a rapper is specific and makes me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're not going to. You don't plan on working for the Twix Corporation ever again?

[Adam Pally]

Oh, I do it in a drop of a hat. God, I go to Riyadh.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he started out in a Twix commercial. How. How long ago was that?

[Adam Pally]

22.

[Scott Aukerman]

So that was prob.

[Adam Pally]

21 years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

21 years ago. And he has entertained us for 21 years since appearing in such shows as Happy Endings, where he played. I'm going to take a stab at this, Jim.

[Adam Pally]

I don't remember the characters.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't? Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

No, I don't remember.

[Scott Aukerman]

None of us do. We enjoyed it when it was on, right?

[Adam Pally]

Yes. No, I. I played a character named Max.

[Scott Aukerman]

Max. That's right, Max. And then you were also in.

[Adam Pally]

Why are you being like this right now? I feel.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does this mean?

[Adam Pally]

I just feel like you're. You have the information in front of you, but there's like a slight ting.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think I have in front of me? I. I have a computer. Do you mean any computer has all of your personal information on it?

[Adam Pally]

First of all, for the audience, Scott's computer's open to his only fans page. That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't been really hyping that as much as I wanted to.

[Adam Pally]

Secondly, I just mean it feels like a tinge of like, I'll get your name wrong. I'll get the shows wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not getting your name wrong. I haven't said your name.

[Adam Pally]

Okay, well, that's also weird.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm in the middle of a huge introduction for you that's trying to hype up all of your projects, but. And here you are taking, umbrage, of it in the middle.

[Adam Pally]

No, I just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I'm not even in the middle. You've done so many things, so many amazing things in entertainment.

[Adam Pally]

Because I'm old. I'm at the very beginning because I'm old.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not. You're not like M. Night Shyamalan's old? Is that what you're saying now?

[Adam Pally]

I've made it. You're not like deal with door. You're not like old now my career. I've made a deal with the devil in the mirror to stay with my hair brown?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I'm saying no. You don't look young. Is that what you're trying to say? That's what the Dorian Gray thing is. What Dorian Gray is like, there's like a painting that keeps them young, getting progressively older.

[Adam Pally]

One that would look at me and be like, that dude's 43. Straight up. Everyone would look at me and get. There's. I. Come on, Scott. Why are we even having this conversation?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you instigated it. I. You, I'm just trying to introduce you.

[Adam Pally]

Okay, Come on. Let's keep going. Now, what else you want to go through? What other web series you want to drudge up? Well, prank shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, I was Knuckles a web series?

[Adam Pally]

In a lot of ways, yes. In a lot of ways.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are streaming shows web series?

[Adam Pally]

Yes, in a lot of ways. Most of my career is on the Internet.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you were, you were in Sonic the Hedgehog movies as a human being. Not as, Not. Our friend Ben Schwartz is technically in.

[Adam Pally]

Him, but he's, he's the voice of them. He's the voice and I'm the face of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he's in these Sonic the Hedgehog movies, as. Were you his neighbor?

[Adam Pally]

I was a police officer.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a police officer?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Invest investigating. What, like hedgehog crime or.

[Adam Pally]

This feels, if you're. First of all, this feels like we've gone off the introduction. We're now into specific questions. And it also feels slightly, it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. You know what? I don't mean it to feel that way. So therefore it doesn't.

[Adam Pally]

You don't. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was in Knuckles. He also claims to have been in other movies, but I don't really.

[Adam Pally]

What the hell?

[Scott Aukerman]

In his new special, he says he's a movie star. You can't say you're a movie star when you've just been in movies.

[Adam Pally]

That's the joke of it. That's the joke.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's a joke.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Why?

[Adam Pally]

I, I, I haven't seen you in, like, a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

We went to Bruce Springsteen together.

[Adam Pally]

Well, like, I know I haven't seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

You since, like, a year.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And I miss you. And. And. And honestly, I've been here 30 minutes and you've been. It's been great. And then the mic's turned on, and.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't notice any difference in the way I'm acting.

[Adam Pally]

I feel completely shortchanged.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should not, because we love you here. You've been on the show many times.

[Adam Pally]

Many.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now you have a new comedy special called An Intimate Evening with Adam Pali. This is a new HBO special, the Home Box Office. It is premiering this Thursday on hbo. Please welcome back to the show. Adam Pally. Welcome back, buddy.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you for that introduction. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

So good to see you. I miss you.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I miss you, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

We saw Bruce Springsteen together approximately 365 days ago.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, we've seen a couple shows together. I feel like.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are the other ones? I don't remember.

[Adam Pally]

Did we go to see. Weren't we in the same. Didn't we go see Prince during that run together?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think we went together. I don't even know if I knew you then.

[Adam Pally]

But you definitely did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did I really?

[Adam Pally]

Definitely. When he was playing those nights at the Forum.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Yeah, I went to about 10 of them.

[Adam Pally]

But I recall going. I think we went with. I want to say Nikki, Nick Kroll or something. I think there was, like, a group of us that went.

[Scott Aukerman]

I.

[Adam Pally]

Did you go to the river tour with me and Casp and Marino when we rented that bus?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

We do a bunch of shows together.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was one of two Bruce Springsteen shows that I got so drunk at that I passed out in the middle of the show.

[Adam Pally]

So did Daniela. Yeah, well, we shouldn't have rented a bus. Was like.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a party bus that had.

[Adam Pally]

We rented a party bus to go see the River Tour, which is notoriously the saddest and longest Bruce Springsteen album.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love the River Tour because it ends on the most depressing song. And he always has to go like, and that's the river.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

That's the river.

[Adam Pally]

And then it's like, lights come up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, we did go see that. So we've seen two shows together. Perhaps a Prince show, although I don't believe so. And now you are. Okay. And now you have a new special, which I've seen, by the way. I got what they call in this business a screener. I saw it as the director intended. I want with my email address emblazoned.

[Adam Pally]

Across the I wanted to make sure you got it with your own watermark specifically.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this is a very interesting special. Let's talk about what it is, because the title of this, An Intimate Evening with Adam Pally. First of all, when I reached out to you to ask you to be on the show, it was like a thunderbolt hearing news of this special. Because I'm on the HBO mailing list, their promotional mailing list.

[Adam Pally]

Of course you're a big fan.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a huge fan of hbo.

[Adam Pally]

It's like the way people treat Disney.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. I'm an HBO adult. And so I got something in my inbox that said Adam Pally has a standup special out. And I said I had no idea that you did stand up. Were attempting stand up. And not only that, but actually completed a special. So I reached out to you immediately. I wanted to know exactly what this was, and I wanted to. To talk about it here with you. Let's talk about what this is, because it's. It's a very unique special.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want to say that's not a compliment? Do you want to say exactly what it is?

[Adam Pally]

I mean, you can take it as a compliment. I don't know why. Even if you don't mean it as a compliment, when you say something's unique, the person, if.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it's like, I mean, and this.

[Adam Pally]

Is a bad comparison, then don't do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I have to at this point. I've already said it's a bad comparison. People are going to wonder what it is.

[Adam Pally]

Think of a better one.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not coming up with anything else.

[Adam Pally]

That was barely a beat.

[Scott Aukerman]

So say you have stomach cramps and then you go take a shit in your toilet and you're like, oh, I've never seen one that looks like that before. That's very unique. You wouldn't say, like, oh, this is the best thing that's ever existed.

[Adam Pally]

I might say thank you. I might. It's not. Is there blood in it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, no, that wouldn't be unique.

[Adam Pally]

Right. So I'd be like, thank you. Yeah, I know. It's pretty impressive.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is impressive to have something come out that hasn't been done before.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Again, not a compliment. I just said it was impressive. But tell us about.

[Adam Pally]

Impressive is inherently a compliment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want to tell people what the special is or do you want me to say it? Because I don't.

[Adam Pally]

Definitely don't want me to do it. Definitely don't want you to do it. I. Yeah, the special is about the Special is me trying to figure out a reason why I would want to do a special.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you offered the special first or did you?

[Adam Pally]

It does seem like I did it on a dare. Right. It does seem like a truth or dare game. Gone. It seemed like someone said to me one night, you could never do a special. And I was like, oh, yeah, give me a week.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think you go into it in the special, but. How long had you been doing these shows?

[Adam Pally]

About three years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three years you've been doing the. I haven't heard about you doing these shows.

[Adam Pally]

I've been doing them at Largo, like, for a while and. And at New York at the Bell House and Union hall. And then I was, like, taking new bits that I would find and do them on. Like, you know, I did, like, a lot of Joe Mandy's show and Nick's show, and. And each time I would, like, take the. A bit that I didn't have and, like, add it to the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Add it to the. To what? What turned out to be an hour.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, what turned out to be an hour? Probably longer. And then. And then instead. And then I knew that it was complicated because the other thing I was trying to do while I was doing the shows was I was doing a different set each night. And that is hard because, like, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Know, doing different jokes or.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, doing different. Everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Different everything. So anytime people would see you, it.

[Adam Pally]

Would be a different show and it would be different guests and be different songs, and it would be different.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you say songs, by the way, we should mention what the show is. So it's.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I play songs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You play songs. It appears to be about three to five minutes of comedy and generous. And then the rest of it is you playing songs on the guitar, sometimes with guests, none of which you have the rights to. Nor can you show it during the special.

[Adam Pally]

Correct. So still there are billboards all over town. Scott, how does that make you feel?

[Scott Aukerman]

It seems disrespectful to the art form, perhaps.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, really? Say the quiet part out loud.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't think I was quiet.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, no. It's on your podcast, actually. No, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

But the majority then of the special seems to be padded, or I guess made up is a better way to say it, of a documentary about the making of the special. A documentary which seemed to have started at about 3pm the day of shooting.

[Adam Pally]

It says that in the credits. So I'm not going to take that as an insult, even though I think you meant it to be. I'm going to.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's not like a documentary that's been following you during the process of putting this together for three years.

[Adam Pally]

That's not what the special's about.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's about. It's about the documentary starts at approximately sound check and goes through to the end of. Through the editing process, even sometimes.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is a. When I say it's a very unique special. It's unique in the sense of. Most comedy specials are like a comedian coming out and telling jokes for 60 minutes or so.

[Adam Pally]

Right? Those are most. Most of them, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

99.9%.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And yours is very different, which is great.

[Adam Pally]

Great. I think that was a slip up. Did you mean to say great because your eyes went up?

[Scott Aukerman]

I realized I was caught in a trap.

[Adam Pally]

It was great. It was great. You know what?

[Scott Aukerman]

I enjoyed the experience of watching it. May I say that to you?

[Adam Pally]

You may. I'm going to take that as a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Compliment that you're, you're more than welcome to do that. Great. Because that, I believe that's what you intended for people to do.

[Adam Pally]

That's exactly what I intended, is to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sit down or stand up.

[Adam Pally]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you watch TV standing up?

[Adam Pally]

Only when I'm walking my desk.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you're walking to your desk, how long does that take?

[Adam Pally]

At my desk? I have a walking desk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you have a walking desk.

[Adam Pally]

I usually watch TV sitting down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Most people do. I would say the majority.

[Adam Pally]

9%.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Somewhere.

[Adam Pally]

You know, I mean, I guess in that situation, the 1% would be unique.

[Scott Aukerman]

They would. And be great. Wow.

[Adam Pally]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But the, but you want people to sit down. You want people to watch this and you want people to, to come out the other side of this experience having enjoyed the hour that they've spent with you.

[Adam Pally]

That's what I want. Can I ask you a question about what you want?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, sure.

[Adam Pally]

What do I want by using words like padding or.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a slip up. I didn't mean to. That was. That was a paging Dr. Freud.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, well then that doesn't seem like a slip up.

[Scott Aukerman]

It may have been a subconscious.

[Adam Pally]

Right, right. It seems like maybe you're throwing all that out there so that, I don't know, other comedians could feel a sense of solace with you about. Oh, wow, that, that, that, what, what's up there and what's on tv. God, like, I didn't like that. You didn't like that either.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Adam Pally]

It just seems a little bit like you're.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? I just need to give you a little bit like back on this idea because I don't want to be asking interviewer who is sitting there and co signing to what appears like a common.

[Adam Pally]

Enemy is like always the best friend. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like, well, we both agree to.

[Adam Pally]

Meet is we don't want perhaps a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Multi husband like yourself didn't really focus on a press or. And that's all I want.

[Adam Pally]

What are you saying?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking?

[Adam Pally]

No, I was not. What were you saying?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I was talking during. When you were talking, I think I.

[Adam Pally]

Didn'T mean to be. I didn't mean to step over you.

[Scott Aukerman]

But tell us about the experience of making this. Were you offered the the or repeat it? Did HBO come to see this show and say we got to get this onto our network. What was the process of selling the.

[Adam Pally]

Show to you wouldn't be believe it, but that's exactly what happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

They came and just said this is. We got.

[Adam Pally]

They came to see the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

How long have you been doing it at this point?

[Adam Pally]

One time they saw it after the first time. I didn't even have. I hadn't even workshop anything. It was interesting. I was, I had been lucky enough to. I got to have dinner right before I started doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were lucky enough to have dinner?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I was lucky enough because usually I stop. I'm intermittent fasting. I was lucky enough one night to have dinner with Chris Rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Adam Pally]

Right before I started the tour. And he told me and I told him what I was doing and he said, you know, don't, don't be upset. It takes about 10 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Adam Pally]

To get good at comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like at comedy, like doing that.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And I, and I was like, okay, noted. And honestly, it, it took me about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six months and it sounds like it took you one day before hbo one.

[Adam Pally]

Day to film it. One day to get the offer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And now it's up. There are billboards up, billboards everywhere on the Comedy Store.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Which is amazing. Amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I and I know several stand up comedians who they work very hard at their craft and they take.

[Adam Pally]

Do they do it standing up?

[Scott Aukerman]

They do do it standing up, which is 99%. It's also the opposite of what you want people to do when they're watching you. It's like, what I mean, I should be sitting down too.

[Adam Pally]

Well, I should be. I would say that you, you were wrong. A lot of people are watching my stuff as they're walking out. So they're more than 99% flipping you off. Yeah. It's surprising.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is an interesting question. Did a Lot of walkouts from people when you were doing this for the past three years.

[Adam Pally]

Every time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every time?

[Adam Pally]

Yep, every time.

[Scott Aukerman]

And where people would they reach out to you on. And I've had my share of this as well. People reaching out to you on social media saying, like, that sucked. Why? Why? You. You're. It's like you're not even trying. It's like, you know, you have no.

[Adam Pally]

You'Ve had a lot of this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just, I'm trying to relate to you. Maybe not this specifically, but you don't.

[Adam Pally]

Seem to have seemed like this biographical tale right now. It seemed like it drifted into something specific.

[Scott Aukerman]

You.

[Adam Pally]

You see this happen to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You seem to have been failing upwards your entire career. You know, I did just a lot of stuff like that. Would people reach out to you and say stuff like that?

[Adam Pally]

God. You know, there was definitely an. Sometimes people get frustrated, you know, with the jokes because they are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were these shows free or would you pay people to see it or what was the process?

[Adam Pally]

It was a lot of actually. So, you know, it was unhoused people for unhoused people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. You're a hero. I didn't know.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Adam Pally]

And thank you for your. And now they all have my phone number and I like to consider myself a first responder to them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Meaning you text them back.

[Adam Pally]

If I can. If I can. If not. On plane.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't pay for the WI fi on planes?

[Adam Pally]

No, I. No, no, no. That's when I decompress.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're doing free WI fi where you can just text.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't like go to websites or anything, but you can at least text.

[Adam Pally]

No, no, no. The plane. Once. Once I get on the plane.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's your sanctuary.

[Adam Pally]

That's my little sanctuary. You know, and it's nice because it's. It's hard to. To travel, you know, it's really hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? I would say that, that a lot of the, the money that we make out of doing comedy, like if there's some big festival, you know, out there that we get paid $3 million for or whatever.

[Adam Pally]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of it is just. It's not even for doing the shows.

[Adam Pally]

Which we love back and forth.

[Scott Aukerman]

We love to do the shows for these smiling faces and there's KFCs and, and McDonald's and everything. And it's so great to learn stuff like that. But we get paid for the sitting on a plane part of it. It.

[Adam Pally]

How much money would it cost for you to take comedy bang bang to ride like, if they were like, there's a podcast festival.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a podcast festival. Who else is going?

[Adam Pally]

Well, that doesn't seem to matter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are the Doughboys going to be there?

[Adam Pally]

I mean, I can't say no. Everyone says there's fast food everywhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is your show again? Your show. I'm doing it tomorrow, I believe. What's it called?

[Adam Pally]

Oh, Staying Alive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Staying Alive. You have a new podcast with a comedian that I've heard of from Long island called John Gabris.

[Adam Pally]

Yes. Frequenter of this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. Has he ever been on the show? I'm not. I'm not quite sure I understand why you're doing this, but baffled. This is a podcast that you have at this route.

[Adam Pally]

I am baffled.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you would. So, yeah. I mean, it's also unlike you. It's like, is it unlike me?

[Adam Pally]

I mean, to me, my whole life, you've been nothing but sweet and lovely and generous.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have been a supporter of you my entire career. I had you on my television show multiple times. Multiple times. Were you on multiple times?

[Adam Pally]

Yes, as myself and as characters. That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You sat on the couch and you warned me beforehand. You were like, I just have to warn you, I've been gaining weight for a role.

[Adam Pally]

And then that movie got canceled. And then the movie got canceled. Wait, you wanna hear a really horrible story for that? It came back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. The movie came back and had you slimmed down already.

[Adam Pally]

And the movie came back, and it was March 2020, and they go, can you gain?

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's with Tom hanks and the NBA.

[Adam Pally]

Can you gain, like, £20 in, like, three months or whatever. I was like, I'll start right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so then started three months ago.

[Adam Pally]

And, like, you know, March is, like, shutting down. And I kept checking in, being like, what's going on with that movie? And meanwhile, I'm just, like, drinking and eating like everyone. Like, everyone. But it wasn't that bad. But, like, by the time they canceled, I was like, £35 again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it sucked. And I had to bring that down.

[Scott Aukerman]

From COVID And we don't want to say what the movie is in case it comes back around again. No, I think it's a jinx, though. Like, if. If they ever reach out to you, I think, hey, this movie's coming back. Too old now.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, like, now it's like, yeah, even though I play young, I'm way too old now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, I. You know what? I bet you could still do it. Knowing the personality involved it was a biopic. Can we say that?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, it's a biopic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Biographical picture.

[Adam Pally]

Yes, totally.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe.

[Adam Pally]

I don't know. I think I would be an odd choice now. I feel like it would be like maybe I'm old. There's many. There many more, like, better people now.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And people who actually are the weight that they're supposed to be.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. I got my eye on a couple other biopics right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Adam Pally]

Who do Bobby Kennedy Jr. Hey, someone's going to do a funny movie about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who else could you play? Who do you look? Who do fans say you look like?

[Adam Pally]

I get Joaquim Phoenix sometimes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And I get both Jews from the New Girl.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are their names?

[Adam Pally]

Another Johnson and Max. Max Green. I get those two depending on like. Like my weight. And then that's depending on your. And then, like, honestly, what I get the most is like, borderline. I have like, did we go to camp? Energy, you know, like, that's where I get recognized the most. And even though I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you ever go to camp?

[Adam Pally]

I went sleeping for a couple years, but, like, I wasn't a big camp person, but I have this energy.

[Scott Aukerman]

But there's presumably 90 people out there who did go to camp with you that.

[Adam Pally]

This. Maybe 90. Yeah. But probably less now. More dead, honestly.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. That is a good point.

[Adam Pally]

So, like, I. I feel like it's just. It's.

[Scott Aukerman]

But what if you found out that literally every single person you ever went to camp with is dead but you and they'd all been murdered or it was one by one?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, well, I. Well, what if I didn't know why and then I had to figure out who's the killer?

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you think a killer stalking you, and then you realize, no, you've been sleepwalking and killing them. Yes. And they call it sleepwalking camp. Sleep. Sleepwalking. Sleep away. Yeah, no, that's gilding the lily.

[Adam Pally]

Let's not mess with the title. Let's call the Untitled Adam Pally Horror Project.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think Untitled Scott Aukerman directorial project started.

[Adam Pally]

Dude, honestly, whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever gets it made in this climate.

[Adam Pally]

Just keep the budget low.

[Scott Aukerman]

Speaking of which, did you. You had a budge for this project that you are putting out on Thursday. It's called An Intimate Evening with a Little bit on hbo. So you had it. You had a budge and you had an interested network who wanted to put it up. And then you. You shot the show. You have special guests. You have Dave Hill, who plays guitar. So funny. And David Krumholtz, who's great. Such a good voice, sings and we hear none, really. Not anything that they do of either of them. Yeah, because they were doing copyrighted material like Bruce Springsteen songs and couldn't put that in the show.

[Adam Pally]

Couldn't get the right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And other. Another special guest is your father.

[Adam Pally]

My dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your father plays piano with you. And I didn't even know you played guitar. And you're up there doing it and you sound great. And you have three of them on stage with you.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, because I. I break them. I've. I've often in this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said that in the show. You said, you know what? I. I tend to break these. And I thought it meant, like, you're doing Pete Townsend style, like breaking them intentionally.

[Adam Pally]

And then you immediately see that it means I drop them. Right. And the straps don't work.

[Scott Aukerman]

You had a budge for the show. I guess my question is, why not one roadie who actually, like, is there to take care of your guitars? Because you see the process of you trying to push them into the.

[Adam Pally]

To the venue, you know, now that you mention would have been helpful. I. I really didn't think of it. I really was just like, oh, cool. I did not think that you could get help. Like, yeah, a lot of people out.

[Scott Aukerman]

There don't know they can get help. And we're here to say at comedy bang bang, we care. That's our tagline for this year, by the way.

[Adam Pally]

I'm so tired of this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're tired of what? During the show.

[Adam Pally]

Fake bullshit you're doing right now. Like we care. You spent the last 25 minutes eviscerating you. I wouldn't call it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Adam Pally]

I would call it poking me with a butter knife.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, did you want. Did you want a safe little interview where topics are.

[Adam Pally]

You're a real David Frost. Yeah, Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you know what?

[Adam Pally]

Hold me over the cold.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know who that is.

[Adam Pally]

Yes, you do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I assume someone.

[Adam Pally]

Ross Nixon.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know Nixon. His first name was Frost. All right, that sounds ludicrous. All right, well, President Frost. Nixon.

[Adam Pally]

I guess we're in the comedy of the bang bang part now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the earlier was just the bang bang.

[Adam Pally]

Well, when are we gonna watch the movie? We were all supposed to watch a movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not on my other show. Scott has a page. Oh, what movie did you want to do? I would love to have you on that show at some point, but you're here so infrequently.

[Adam Pally]

I know, I know. I. I Watched on the plane, actually. This. The latest Marvel. The new.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Thunderbolts.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic Four.

[Adam Pally]

I didn't. That wasn't an option. The thunderbolts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thunderbolts. Thunderbolts with an asterisk.

[Adam Pally]

Thunderbolts with an asterisk. There's a lot going on in that movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot going on. Like, it, they, they, they, they have like two and a half hours and they're just like, let's fill this with stuff.

[Adam Pally]

There is a lot going on. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you be a Marvel person? Who would you be?

[Adam Pally]

I was a Marvel person. I was a Marvel movie for a hot second, which.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you were in Iron Man.

[Adam Pally]

I was in Iron Man 3.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Just spoke with the director of that film on my.

[Adam Pally]

Shane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shane. Yeah, we had Shane on Scott hasn't seen a very fascinating conversation.

[Adam Pally]

Was it fascinating? He was fascinating.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was. It was a great, fascinating conversation.

[Adam Pally]

I thought my first day in that movie, I was so nervous and I was, like, really nervous to work with him mostly because he's, he's legendary.

[Scott Aukerman]

A legendary screen, if you don't know his work. He wrote Lethal Weapon.

[Adam Pally]

Last Boy Scout.

[Scott Aukerman]

Last Boy Scout. But also then directed incredible films like Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang and the Nice Guys.

[Adam Pally]

And he's also legendary for being a Hollywood party guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And I was really nervous, and it was in, like, Wilmington, North Carolina, and I got there early and it was like five in the morning. And I was sitting in the, in the makeup trailer and they were like, hey, the director wants to see you. And I was like, awesome. And I walked into Shane's trailer and he, he was like, hey, man, sit down. I was like, he's like, I don't want you to be nervous or anything, you know, and if I've seemed weird, it's just, you know, I can't stay away from that red light district. And I was like, we're in Wilmington, North Carolina.

[Scott Aukerman]

What red light district are we talking about?

[Adam Pally]

I think he's just doing a bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it was like, he's doing a bit because he's. He talked about on, On Scott as a scene. He is a. No longer.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or he formerly drank.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. But it was, it made me less nervous, like, right away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, because also you're acting with Robert Downey Jr. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

And he was in the room, too. And it was like, very.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

You know, and I would imagine that.

[Scott Aukerman]

They have to do that with. With newer actors.

[Adam Pally]

They do. They do with everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Just to be like, hey, you know, don't. Don't don't get nervous and waste our time by fucking up all your lines.

[Adam Pally]

Pretty much. They do. They. They're very calming about it. They do it early in the morning, and they bring you into this, like, massive trailer, and they just, like, give you FaceTime with the two of them so that you're not, like, the first.

[Scott Aukerman]

Time you're seeing them is on set, and then you're in your head going like, this is fucking.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, like a mask comes off, and you're like, oh, shit. Like, it's. Yeah, but so that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was he wearing Robert Downey Jr. Was he wearing the wig? Because, you know, in Oppenheimer is real hair. He's bald.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. No, he was wearing a maternity dress.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Iron Man 3 is what you're here to promote that is out there. Now. What was your character's name in Iron Man 3?

[Adam Pally]

Cameraman Gary.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's like a superhero cameraman.

[Adam Pally]

I've been trying to spin it off for years.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never know. What's his name from that movie? Ben Kingsley. Right.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

He returned. He came back. You could come back, too.

[Adam Pally]

I text everybody. Unreturned, still green.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, an Intimate Evening with Adam Pally is out this Thursday on hbo. It is an experience. It is something that you're gonna want to sit down, you're gonna want to gather all the neighbors and perhaps have a block party or something. You know, get a tub of beer and just really go to town on maybe, you know, maybe pause it every two minutes or so and go, did I just see that? And then start it up again after you decompress a little bit.

[Adam Pally]

Tinge of jealousy. I'm feeling.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm jealous.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, tinge.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I'm just.

[Adam Pally]

Just kind of putting my finger on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I had my time in the sauna on hbo, and I was part of the.

[Adam Pally]

I guess I missed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

The sketch show. Mr. Show. Which if you missed. I'm so sorry, Adam, that you haven't done your research.

[Adam Pally]

No, actually, I did not miss. I love Mr. Show. Oh, okay, then. You know, and I used to. When I taught. Sketchy. Used to be. I used to do it all the time. I. Forgive me.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're forgiven.

[Adam Pally]

What did you do there?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I. Oh, I was a writer. Writer and cast member.

[Adam Pally]

Cat, you were a writer and Catholic. What were you. What did you do there? You were in the cast.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think that I said catholic?

[Adam Pally]

You were heading there Because I couldn't fathom that you would say cast.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wasn't. I was.

[Adam Pally]

There were two people in that cast, and Everybody else was. And then the one guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

January 6th, regular cast. I was recurring cast. But. But the government knows that. No, I mean, on my tax sheet, I may have said I was cast.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. But. But no, Yeah, I. Yeah. So I had my time in the sun on hbo. I travel.

[Adam Pally]

I feel like our sons are yours. May have been a little bit more of a foggy day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you think this special.

[Adam Pally]

No, not for Bob and David.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think this particular special of you dicking around for an hour.

[Adam Pally]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is better than my experience crafting one of the most seminal sketch shows of our or any other generation?

[Adam Pally]

Well, when you put it like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know any other way to put it, Adam, because.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, I could think of a couple ways to put it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Let's. Let's hear you.

[Adam Pally]

When you were a first time staff writer. First time, best time on an all Caucasian male.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that didn't have a lot to do with that. The pickings were slim in a time.

[Adam Pally]

But we were feminine. We were feminists. Okay, sure. At a time when comedy was still new and ideas could be explored.

[Scott Aukerman]

The fucking Sid Caesar sketch show where you could go out there and dribble down your shirt and everyone.

[Adam Pally]

And you were getting salads for Kyle Gass or whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

I never got a single salad for or from. I did not. Neither give nor receive.

[Adam Pally]

So whatever you were doing, getting chicken Zazu or whatever, you were ordering him any food.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. You. Anyway, an intimate evening with Adam Pally out this Thursday. We need to take a break, Adam.

[Adam Pally]

I do. Please. I. I do. I feel bad. I haven't seen your friend chicken in a long time.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to take a break. When we come back, we're have a set of twins. We'll be here. We also have an idea. Man, this is a packed show, Adam. Can you stick around?

[Adam Pally]

Of course. Thank you so much again for having me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love having you here.

[Adam Pally]

I love you.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're going to be right back. I love you. We are going to be right back with more Adam Pali, more comedy. Bang, bang. We'll be right back after this. Hey, everyone. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I know what you're saying. What is Squarespace? Why did they bring me this podcast? I thought I just pressed a button. No, no, no, no. Squarespace brought it to you. Here's what it is. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or whether you're growing your business. Here's what it does Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Don't you hate offering services and getting paid in two different places? I do. It helps you do this in one simple place. It showcases consultations, events and more. You can do all of this with a customizable website built to attract clients and grow your business. Plus get paid faster with professional invoices and easy online payments. And with their collection of cutting edge design tools. Anyone, and I mean anyone, even me, even I, could do this. Anyone can build a bespoke online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Here's what you do. You start with Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI enhanced website builder to get a fully custom website in just a few steps, using basic information about your industry, your goals and your personality. As annoying as you might be, I'm just talking to myself. To generate premium quality content and personalized design recommendations, head over to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain.

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[Adam Pally]

Driving experience and refined performance. Discover it at your local Mazda dealer today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I have to tell you, I.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Was just looking on ebay where I go for all kinds of things I love.

[Adam Pally]

And there it was, that hologram trading card. One of the rarest. The last one I needed for my set.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams.

[Adam Pally]

One of a kind.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Ebay had it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Get your windshield wipers? Ebay has all the parts that fit my car. No more annoying, just beautiful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay things people love.

Comedy. Bang bang. We're back. Adam Pally is here. An intimate evening with Adam Pally on HBO starting this Thursday. Does it air once and then it's on Max or Max, by the way, your character from Happy Endings.

[Adam Pally]

Go. I think it's goes on go and then it and then after go.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's on HBO now.

[Adam Pally]

It's on HBO now. Which you have to watch on your phone vertically, not horizontally.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're gonna miss.

[Adam Pally]

Like there's edges on the edges you'll miss. But you don't really need any of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you want people to be edging while you watch an intimate evening with. And it's on this Thursday, but people can get it afterwards streaming.

[Adam Pally]

It's got long legs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Long legs. Just like myself and a little gentleman in the movies. Cinema history we call long legs. Has been a guest on this show before.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Cool. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of people come through this. This show.

[Adam Pally]

I can see by the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. It's a huge honor for you to be on this. For you. I'm saying.

[Adam Pally]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because so many great people have been on this show.

[Adam Pally]

Okay. Okay, Great. Thank you. I don't understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. I'm just saying that, you know, a little gratitude would. I said would go a long way.

[Adam Pally]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I reached out to you, which proves my bona fides.

[Adam Pally]

What Boners.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

No, I did not open that email.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the one that said bona fides.

[Adam Pally]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have to get to our next guest. They are twins. This is exciting. I've never. I don't think I've ever met twins before. When I did a day of punch up on New York Minute starring the Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen, I believe they. They did not come into the writers room. But this is exciting to talk to some twins. Please welcome for the first time on the show, Barbara and Brittany Toadfelson.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Hi, I'm Barbara and this is my sister.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hi.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

We're so excited to be here.

[Adam Pally]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so great to meet you. You both. This is your. Yeah. This is your sister.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yes, we're twins. Forced twins. It's incredible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't. I don't know. Adam, do you know?

[Adam Pally]

I don't know forced means.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Forced.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Forced. Do you know what forced means?

[Adam Pally]

Twins.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Forced twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we know what. Tell you what. We know what forced means and we know what twins mean, but together it's a. I see.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I'm seeing. Okay. Perfect. So my mom, obsessed with twins so deeply wanted to have twins ever since she was little. She was a single.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, okay.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did she want twins so badly? Had she just fantasized? Was she an only child?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

No, she had siblings. But I think there was always that wonder. What if I had that special twin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bond with someone to complete each other?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yes.

[Adam Pally]

Sandwich.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

So. Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Frozen.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Exactly. So you're a parent.

[Adam Pally]

I got a daughter and she's a single.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the one thing we have in.

[Adam Pally]

She is a single.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Bummer.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Did you guys try.

[Adam Pally]

So we could have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Occasionally we could. I mean, you did. I'M sure you did yours the natural way.

[Adam Pally]

We did ours the naturally, but blasting away anywhere. Yeah, anywhere that could. Anywhere would handle it. Mostly in the garbage. And then we'd hold it over.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But we had to implant several times, so. So occasionally there would be times.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

We would say, like, oh, there's a possibility of twins.

[Adam Pally]

And it runs in my wife's family, so we knew it was an option.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, and you still had a single.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've had three singles.

[Adam Pally]

I've had three singles. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

They're runners on base.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Waiting for the cleanup man, you know?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. That's death crack.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

See? So my mom. My mom, it was her night, no offense. It was her nightmare to have a single. You know, it just sounded awful to her. She didn't want her kid to live in a world where it didn't have, like, a magic connection with another kid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that kind of thing that you see in, like, the Parent Trap or whatever.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Totally. That is one girl. That's what's crazy. That's actually offensive.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're kidding. I always thought that Lindsay Lohan's sister just never worked again.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, no. Everyone thinks that there's, like, a dud Lohan and then there's the Lindsay Lohan and that there's just, like, a secret Lohan she's keeping in an attic.

[Adam Pally]

Dud.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Dud.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dudlohan. Yeah. Dead in a dud.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And that's not true.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Not true. That's one.

[Scott Aukerman]

They did this through studio trickery.

[Adam Pally]

It was, like, in the 60s, wasn't it?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so, yeah. Lindsay alone.

[Adam Pally]

Well, no, there wasn't, like, an early parents.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

There was an early Parent Trap.

[Adam Pally]

Was that a single?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That's no kids.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they didn't even have even one?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Not even one. It's so sick.

[Adam Pally]

What am I looking. I must be looking at a little. A little.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe a doll.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or like a.

[Adam Pally]

Like a dog and a dress.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I have suspicions. One is a doll and one is a dog that looks like the doll. So scary.

[Scott Aukerman]

A doll and a dog in a dress was in the original Parent Trap. And then Lindsay Lohan had a dead sister and a dud sister. Yeah, for the remake.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

For the remake. I mean, it really is just her. Her dad and her dad were at home. But, like, they didn't even just use trust twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That's the thing. That's what sucks. The twin representation is really bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so. But you. So your mom wanted twins?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

She wanted. When she needed twins. Kind of medically she needed twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what do you mean by medically?

Like, she.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

She was just like. I was like, I'm gonna kill myself if I don't have twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

[Adam Pally]

So medically, meaning mentally? Medically.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, totally.

[Scott Aukerman]

Her medical situation would end if that would happen.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Absolutely. She would have no medical. Right, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It was mendicle.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Mendicle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's a medical situation.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

A medical situation.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so she. Is she. You have a father, I'm presuming.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Both singles. Singles, but together. And so they. You know, he got on board with the whole twin thing. You know, it's easy to convince someone, do you want to have twins? Yes. It's kind of an auto yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That doesn't. Whoa. I don't know that I would be an auto. Yes on that. I mean, I would actually be.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Are you afraid?

[Adam Pally]

Am I what?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Are you afraid?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you afraid?

[Adam Pally]

I guess so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Answer the question.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I guess I am afraid of twins. Like, I wouldn't. I'm afraid of the workload and the money and everything. It feels like a lot.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You're afraid of the money that'll come in? Like the power.

[Adam Pally]

The money that I would have to put out to care for another twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Because there's, like, two mouths to feed now as opposed to one.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, that's interesting. So that's not the case with us. So.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

We're forced twins, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're Barbara, is that right?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I'm Barbara.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brittany hasn't been really speaking all that much. Could we hear what? I don't know if. What. What is it exactly? Britney. Why. Why does Britney's voice sound like that before we get into the process of.

[Adam Pally]

And it seems to be tickling. Barb, I.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Because she told a joke. Did you not get it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, I. I guess I did. Okay.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

She has very.

[Adam Pally]

I have.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Sorry. People sometimes say she has, like, a British sense of humor, so it might not make sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it doesn't come across the pond. Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

It might not make total sense to.

[Adam Pally]

Like, as an English. But there's a language barrier.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

There's a language barrier? Yes. English people say stuff differently.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Isn't that a joke from your special.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, my God, that's so cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the second one out of three, right?

[Adam Pally]

That's the first one.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay. So you asked about Britney's voice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I did.

[Adam Pally]

In a roundabout way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So because we're forced twins, my mom, when she got pregnant, the embryo was a single, and she Said, no, no, no. We have to split this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Is that medically sound? What did they do? They chopped the embryo in half.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You, doctor. You nailed it, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Okay.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

They get in there, they chop the embryo in half to create twins. To create twins.

[Adam Pally]

They do the incision while the embryo is inside.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah. And then they hope and they say, we hope. So when my mom gave birth, I came at first. I'm older. You can tell. I have a little more maturity.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you can talk English as well, right?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I can talk American English. Yes, that's right. So when I came out, all good, just kind of missing some of my parts of my body. No big deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, what's missing? I. I haven't gotten a good look at you. I. I choose to look.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, you can totally ask.

[Scott Aukerman]

I choose to look at you from the eyes down to your chin.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, okay.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, is that your chin?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That. This is Britney's chin. It's kind of cute.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have Britney's chin.

[Adam Pally]

Britney's chin, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

It's Britney's chin. So I exist. You probably can't tell I don't have my legs, which hopefully that's not a problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no. I mean, at comedy banking, not only do we care, but we. We also know disability.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

No disability, et cetera, et cetera. No disabilities. On comedy banking.

[Adam Pally]

Scott is always going on about that. That's for his house, too.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

No disabilities.

[Scott Aukerman]

At Scott's, we don't have the ramps, really. Got it necessary in order to. But, but, but. No, I do want to say that everything is. We take all comers.

[Adam Pally]

It's also. That's actually what it says on the application to work here.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

All comers.

[Scott Aukerman]

All comers.

[Adam Pally]

No. No disabilities.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Wow, that's so kind of alarming, Scott, because Brittany got my legs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brittany got your legs. What do you have there? Do you have, like, the Oscar. What's his name? Oscar Pistorius, podiatrist.

[Adam Pally]

And he had no legs.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be too ironic.

[Adam Pally]

Dr.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Strange, he murder his wife?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Or was it with a kick?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it was manslaughter.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's less. It was a lesser.

[Adam Pally]

It was vehicular, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're not laughing about this terrible tragedy. We're laughing at our own word.

[Adam Pally]

No, we're laughing about Oscar Petoria's patronus.

[Scott Aukerman]

We talked about this a couple of weeks ago.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Like, he came up.

[Scott Aukerman]

If he was your patronus. That would be strange, right?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I wouldn't. I mean, I don't like J.K. rowling, so I don't think about Patronuses.

[Scott Aukerman]

That notorious turf. We don't like her here at Comedy Bang Bang.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You don't?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. I wouldn't even have her on the show if she applied to be on the show. I would not. I would. I would turn her away at the door. I would let her come here and spend the expense and all the hassle. Get an Uber and all that kind of stuff.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then at the door, I'd go, like, we don't like you. Yeah. Turf. And I would slam the door in her face.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You put her up in a really nice hotel, say it's totally covered. She goes to check out. Bill's on, her bills on.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I do that when I get. When I book the room and I go like, hey, hey, hey. She wants to pay for this.

Yeah.

Like, I know that I'm supposed to put a credit card down, but she.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Really wants to pay for this.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Really? She wants to big time us and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then show a picture of her castle and be like. Like, yeah. I mean, so you. Like. There's obviously not a money problem.

[Adam Pally]

Give me a second. I'm just gonna call the hotel Scott put me up at.

[Scott Aukerman]

We book all of our guests on Comedy.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Our podcast.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

For an hour in the hotel.

[Adam Pally]

He said he loved my special that much.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Wow. That. I haven't heard it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had to have you on here, buddy.

[Adam Pally]

There's a lot to ask.

[Scott Aukerman]

I miss you too.

[Adam Pally]

I miss you too. Think about you all the time. Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gotta see another Springsteen show and no other musical.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Our princess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not sure. Not sure if we can make that happen.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, yes. Brittany has my legs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brittany has your legs.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Brittany has my legs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have her chin.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And I got a head. I got the head part of the embryo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I wasn't gonna mention this, but Brittany doesn't really have. What, like a traditional head?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, no, she doesn't have a traditional head. They kind. Yeah, I got it. I got it. She.

[Adam Pally]

They.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

She was born without a head. And they were like, we gotta fix this probably in like a few minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They wanted to. They wanted to do a Coldplay on her. They wanted to do fix you right.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That was on the tip of my tongue. That was on the tip of my tongue. When I immediately think about that song.

[Scott Aukerman]

From 2003, maybe their self titled album, 2008.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I don't know why, I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Their third record, Speed of Sound, was the first single.

[Adam Pally]

Dude, quit while you're ahead, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I was ahead.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Well, she doesn't have a head.

[Scott Aukerman]

She doesn't have a head.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

So they did what they could. They found. They went to the morgue, unfortunately, to find, you know, unused heads and things like that. And then they ended up finding a one that perfectly fit the kind of the hole that was there. That did not.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what we're all looking for.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

We're all looking for a head to.

[Adam Pally]

Fit a hole for a hole.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know Nine Inch Nails, I was gonna say.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, well, you beat me to, well, you beat me to the path.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And I totally get what you're both saying, because I know a ton of Nine Inch Nail songs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but so what, what, I mean, whose head is that on? On Brittany? Is that and what species? Because I have to say, her voice sounds like. And this is, you know, I, when people, when guests come on the show, I don't, I don't want to insult them. Of course, I try not to.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You're known for being nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'm the nice host.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it sounds like the braying of a sickly horse.

[Adam Pally]

That's classic Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

And not only that, but it sounds like a YouTube video of the brain video.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Why would I play a video of a woman?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just saying what her voice sounds like.

[Adam Pally]

It's just. Yeah, it's because you sound so clear.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it also seems.

[Adam Pally]

She sounds like she's coming through a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Phone and it seems like it's cutting in in the middle of what she's saying.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, yeah, that's, that must be language stuff, because it must be language.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

So.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, we were told. Actually they wouldn't tell us whose head it was. I mean, I know she kind of has like, like these gray features. She has, like, bigger ears than me. They told us it was a celebrity's head.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, I mean, there are horse celebrities. Could be. Yeah. Mr. Ed, can you think of another horse celebrity? Seabiscuit.

[Adam Pally]

Seabiscus. And then Hidalgo. I'm sorry, wasn't Hidalgo another horse?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I, I, I, I kind of take offense.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was that Bobcat Goldthwaite horse movie?

[Adam Pally]

If it wasn't called Bobcat, it should be called Bobcat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then I think you'd go expecting a movie about bobcats. And then you'd see it was both weight and go, you know what? I can't sue you because literally Bobcat is in this. But I'm not happy.

[Adam Pally]

But now that you mention it, old Bobcat Goldwait does sound like a horse.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And, and I, I'm trying to not take offense here. No, guys, that. I think my sister's head is a horse. Head.

[Scott Aukerman]

If anyone take offense, it would be your sister.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. No, you have a beautiful.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Pally]

And we would not.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you are a stone cold fox.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Thank you. Guys, stop.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, I.

[Adam Pally]

This is crazy. It's not. Guys, this is just Scott.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay, Guys, look at these.

[Adam Pally]

Stop.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Adam, stop.

[Adam Pally]

I'm not even here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam, please.

[Adam Pally]

Like, you actually mourned your sister.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are a dying piece.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay, wow, this is so nuts, because usually at the bars, Brittany is the one who gets sexually harassed.

[Adam Pally]

I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I get that.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, you get that.

[Adam Pally]

I get that.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Well, it was a big hole, so.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, it wasn't a perfect fit. There's still a gap between where the head goes on and where the big hole was. But they told us this was a celebrity head, so I was trying to. I've always wondered, which celebrity head is this? You know, you always wonder that when you see people. So I was. I sometimes will go through, like, who was born in 1995? Who? Or, sorry, who?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Was it who died?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Excuse me? Who died? Who was born? Us. The Toad Felson twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Toad Felson twins. Of course, that is your name and you know it very well.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And I know it very well, but I just haven't been able to narrow it down. Celebrities who died in 1995. If you guys have any pitches. I'd be dying.

[Scott Aukerman]

I could do.

[Adam Pally]

A quick Google search would help.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, celebrities.

[Adam Pally]

You have to close your own.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And it would have to be. Oh, gosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

In 1995. You say Alana Turner died in 1995. Jerry Garcia.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jerry Garcia of Cherry Garcia fame.

[Adam Pally]

That would be amazing if.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

If my sister got Jerry Garcia.

[Adam Pally]

Her head was Jerry Garcia.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Wait, how do we prove it? Okay, wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess we could listen to a Grateful Dead song and see if it.

[Adam Pally]

Sounds like she'll know some.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay, wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, let me. What's any Grateful Dead?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Terrapin?

[Adam Pally]

Scarlet Begonias. Scarlet Begonias.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scarlet Begonias. Yep. Okay, let me play Scarlet Begonia, see.

[Adam Pally]

If it strikes something.

[Scott Aukerman]

See if it strikes something. Here we go. This is a live version.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, good, you picked a live version.

[Scott Aukerman]

Apparently at Winterland in 1974.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, they're gonna be. This will be a little slower.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you say that?

[Adam Pally]

Cuz in the late 70s, they were playing things faster. Interesting, because they were. There was drugs involved.

[Scott Aukerman]

This might be the first Grateful Dead song I've ever heard.

[Adam Pally]

Really? You would like the Grateful Dead.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're one of the great Americans. But the John Mayer version.

[Adam Pally]

The John Mayer version, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Only I was walking around over the square. Oh, wait. Oh, my God. It's trying to sing. It's trying to sing along.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That is. This whole time, I was only looking up women celebrities. I didn't think to look up male.

[Scott Aukerman]

Male ice cream centric.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah. Ice cream related celebrities.

[Adam Pally]

Wow, this is huge news. I feel like you need to call, like, the remaining members of the Grateful Dead.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, because this is like, you know, they just had a bunch of concerts at the Sphere.

[Adam Pally]

You could be, like, playing the Sphere with it.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, well, I couldn't play the Sphere. It's not my head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course, but you probably have. Do you have any body parts of Jerry Garcia? You know, I mean, maybe you have the right hand, you know, the one he played guitar with or something like that.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

What, you think my disgusting, crusty right hand with a ton of calluses is Jerry Garcia's hand?

[Scott Aukerman]

Those look like guitar calluses to me. I mean, and Adam, you know guitar calluses better than anyone.

[Adam Pally]

Usually they're on the left, but. Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Even if you play with your other hand.

[Adam Pally]

Notorious. Obviously, Jerry Garcia was a righty.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But he strummed very heavily. Sure.

[Adam Pally]

And I guess I could get calluses from strumming.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Wait, does it matter that my right hand has always faced the wrong direction?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it doesn't, because that still is the right hand.

[Adam Pally]

Still the right hand, but, yeah, bummer.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Didn't work out. Just somebody else's hand.

[Adam Pally]

No, I don't think we should give up.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I don't. Look. I don't. Look a little further.

[Adam Pally]

I bet there are heroin marks on the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Down the arm. Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

No way. Let me check my arm. Okay. I see some on my thigh. Does that mean anything?

[Adam Pally]

Maybe. Could have Jerry's thighs. Jerry's thigh.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, if you do have Jerry's. Do you have Jerry's beautiful thighs? Yes.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, wait, I don't have legs. So these are just my. These are my prosthetics.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does that count? I mean, were they prosthetics of his.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Thighs and they were based on, they said, some old man's thighs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, maybe he did, like a molding of his thighs.

[Adam Pally]

That sounds like something he would do.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Especially in the remaining years for all his adoring fans.

[Adam Pally]

In the remaining years between tour gigs, Non stop American touring.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

An American tour. Sounds nice. My sister and I always wanted to go on America.

[Adam Pally]

It does sound good. I would love to drive around the country.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'd love to be flown first class around the country.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You don't want to drive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dj.

[Adam Pally]

You don't like. You you don't like a road trip, like on a comfortable.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've. I've had too much. I've had to do the driving during our tours.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, but like, don't you see those videos of the comedians and, like, the big bosses? You're like, I could do that. Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I could do. If someone else were driving.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, yeah. Like a road manager.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, But I think anything over five hours, ours is, like, tough on the old caboose. Yeah, that's a real butt beater.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You gotta get someone to switch you out. Like. Like they do with twins in the biz, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you switching out your. Your butts?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Well, they like what they do with twins in the biz when you have two.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what that means. You keep saying twins in the biz. I don't know what you're saying.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, I've never heard.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Oh, wow.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That's so crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're single in the biz? I'm a twin in the biz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. What biz?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

The industry. The industry of note.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you in show business?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I'm in show business.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had no idea. You haven't talked about this. What do you do in show business?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

We, you know, we twin online. We do, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what that means either.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That's crazy.

[Adam Pally]

What does that mean? Like, you're. You share an account or something?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Like, we should definitely have to share an account for brand purposes. But we do branding deals for twin stuff. You know, like matching shirts. Same size. You know, same size shirts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Products aimed exclusively at twins.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Totally.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And because.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because a small market.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Twins. Adam's whole family is twins except all his children.

[Adam Pally]

No, no, that's not what I said at all. I said there's. It runs in my wife's family also.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And why are you running away from it?

[Adam Pally]

Because I don't want twins. I said that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

I actually, actually also think we. Isn't it 1% of the population is twins?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, that's, I guess, 1% of the population. If there's 7 billion people on earth, that's, you know, what is that? 700 million people? So that is a large.

And times.

[Adam Pally]

That's a lot more than.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Times two.

[Adam Pally]

I don't think that's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Times two times three for triplets.

[Adam Pally]

I don't think that's how that works. No. Because all those people are counted as.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

A person and divide by two for singles. So less than 1% of the world.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is not a fuzzy math. Is George W. Bush. I Don't understand.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

So yes, we're trying to have a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brand and yes, you can't just say so. Yes, like we agree with what you're saying.

[Adam Pally]

In addition, you do double ming gum.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I wish. They don't do the twin thing anymore.

[Adam Pally]

What?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

They've taken that away from their brain.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's their whole thing.

[Adam Pally]

That's their thing. Double mitt.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I know, but twins are not popular in the media. People think we're a threat.

[Adam Pally]

It is scary sometimes. I mean like the scary like do the Shining girls.

[Scott Aukerman]

If every twin banded together and scrolled your eyes and tried to overthrow that.

[Adam Pally]

You just rolled your one eye.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

My old eye. That's a bloodshot red.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that might be Terry Garcia.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

No, really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Also you have a big thick gray beard.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

So?

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're wearing tie dye on what little body parts you do have.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, so what? And it's got cute bears on it. What of it? You brought up the Shining twist and I need you to investigate that.

[Adam Pally]

I'm on Google. Like in what? Yeah, what do you need to investigate it?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

The Shining twins had given a bad name to twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, they're creepy, right? And they're ooky.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

But guess what?

[Scott Aukerman]

They're positively spooky.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah. And then what? The Addams Family.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Shining twins are here now.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Let me ask you, Scott, who's the villain in the Shining?

[Scott Aukerman]

Some might say Jack Nicholson himself. Is. Is. Or maybe his mental illness. I prefer to think that it's a mental illness that no one is at fault for. In that. Sure, sure, he hacks up his own family, but.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

But a single. Hacks up his own family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they're all singles.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I guess that's true. Like, I guess just by inherent numbers, most crime is committed by non twins.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Thank you.

[Adam Pally]

I will bring up the Menendez brothers.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, they're twins.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

I actually don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

They've never said brothers. That's what's weird is we had them under oath at one point.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I won't admit it. And honestly, it's kind of like when you see a crime and you're like, gee, I hope it's not my demographic. I'm praying they're not twins.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I'm praying those are two singles.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder. Okay, so twins are 1% of the population.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Right. And they're really, really 2% because it's 2.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so. But. So most crimes take place from 99% of the people. Sure. But I wonder if the proportionate. Like I wonder if twins are responsible proportionately for more crime, like twin, you know. Have you ever committed a crime?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I mean, not a single one. You didn't speed coming here.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Well, Brittany drove.

[Adam Pally]

Britney's leaking a little. Yeah, there's like a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

Brittany. Brittany's pointing towards my computer, wondering if I'll play the Grateful Dead song again. I'm sorry, we're. We couldn't get the rights to this. Much like an Adam special and intimate evening.

[Adam Pally]

That doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to be shown.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah, sorry. Brittany's hole is leaking. Let me. I usually stuff it with tissue papers, but she absorbed all of them earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Gross.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay. Do I talk about your leaks?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What about your holes? Are your holes always dry as can be?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, yeah. Let's give it a test. Scott, do you have me swab? Let's see if Adam's holes are dry.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's show me your big hole, Adam, and I'll see how dry you are.

[Adam Pally]

You guys, why are you doing this? You both know exactly what I was talking about during the break.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam was talking about his anal leakage. I'm sorry. I mean, it's just.

[Adam Pally]

It's. I'm sorry I brought it up about the leaking.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

It's okay.

[Adam Pally]

I don't understand why you're giving me such a hard time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. We all have it.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I think it's brave that you made a special about your anal leakage.

[Adam Pally]

I think it's important.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I did not do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that that's the underlying theme of your special. And I think it is very brave to get people who have it hopefully hope.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Exactly. I'm hoping that we give twins in the media. Hope that, like, this is the real representation.

[Adam Pally]

I cannot stress this enough, and I've had to address this before. My special is not about anal leakage.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've. You've addressed this before?

[Adam Pally]

Yes, but it has nothing to do with that. I don't know why it keeps.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Is it subtext? Because I'm very good at subtext.

[Scott Aukerman]

In what way are you good at subtext?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, I'm reading it all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

In what, like the works of Shakespeare? The immortal Bard himself?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yes. Yes. Right. Now I can tell you're excited.

[Adam Pally]

She's good. She's good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where? In the plays, like the Melancholy Dane.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

He's excited.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Oh, very good. She's really got you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I. Barbara and Brittany, I'm so glad you're in show business. You haven't really said what you do. In it. And I'm not gonna be playing the. I'm not gonna be playing the video or. That's a very funny joke.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Whichever one that it was really funny, and you don't need to play the video.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, she makes a joke and a request to play the video.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I know. She's like Weird Al.

[Scott Aukerman]

She.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

She's funny and she sings.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Okay.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Weird Al. I think he'd take that as a compliment.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, we need to take a break, if that's okay, but can you stick around? Both of you?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't hear what Britney had to say.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Brittany, do you want to stick around?

[Adam Pally]

I promise you up that video again, I'll give you.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I'll give you 15 apples after.

[Adam Pally]

That's good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds like the 15 apples was. Sounds like we have a deal for those 15 apples.

[Adam Pally]

That's actually a lot of apples.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a lot of apples.

[Adam Pally]

Like 15. I go bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many apples could you eat in one sitting?

[Adam Pally]

Three.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think you could do three?

[Adam Pally]

I think if I was pushed. If it was like, how many apples you do. I think I could do three.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think if I was really hungry, I could do three.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Maybe three and a half an ad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ignore it.

[Adam Pally]

This is an ad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brittany. Brittany. You're doing an ad.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

She's trying to do spawn con on her own. I told her she has to do.

[Adam Pally]

Stuff so into branding.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

It's so sick of. So sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, we need to take a break. When we come back, we have an idea, man. Brittany will be on the show. Plus, we're gonna have more Adam Pally. We're gonna have more with Barbara and Brittany Toad Felson. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

[Joel Kim Booster]

Hey, guys. Joel Kim Booster here with a very exciting announcement that I am the newest host of the podcast Bad Dates. I am so excited to be here and sharing all the wildest, most chaotic and iconic bad date stories with you. I'll be joined by friends like Peppermint, Scott Thompson, Casey Wilson, Ron Funches, and MJ Rodriguez. And we'll hear all about their most notorious bad dates. It'll make you laugh, cry, cringe, and maybe make you feel a little better about your own dating life. You don't want to miss it. We listen to Bad Dates by subscribing to Sirius XM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or listening wherever you get your podcasts.

[Adam Pally]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Adam Pally]

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[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

People.

[Scott Aukerman]

When the flu is keeping you.

[Adam Pally]

Up at night, don't try to tough it out. Knock out your flu symptoms with NYQUIL Intense Flu. You got this. It provides powerful relief of your flu symptoms so you can sleep well through the night. NYQUIL Intense Flu the nighttime sniffling, aching, aching fever. Best sleep with a flu medicine. Use as directed. Keep out of reach of children.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang we're back with Adam Pali. An Intimate Evening with Adam Pally is on HBO this Thursday. And are you gonna do more specials? Is this.

[Adam Pally]

I was till I had this conversation with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't mean to be discouraging to.

[Adam Pally]

You because, well, that's all you've been been. I was thinking maybe I have more to give, but I really think I need to take a moment really see.

[Scott Aukerman]

How this is received and see how it's received.

[Adam Pally]

Because honestly, before I got here, I thought it was being received one way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have the reviews been coming in? Have they been trickling in?

[Adam Pally]

Or has their torrent from friends and peers? They seem to like it.

[Scott Aukerman]

They seem to like it. Great. Fantastic.

[Adam Pally]

Well, that's most of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's good to hear from friends and peers in a time like this, is it not? But when. When does say the official reviews of.

[Adam Pally]

The time like this are you referring. What does that mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

Time like an exciting your career might be on a precipice of being ruined or ruined.

[Adam Pally]

Ruined.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean something like this can can definitely be, you know, it can can set your career off in a different direction. Wild.

[Adam Pally]

Like there are so many podcasts.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are, yes. And we're so glad that people are listening to this one, aren't we?

[Adam Pally]

I guess they. I mean, this is how you treat people.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I don't think that I treat people any differently. Be they friends or be they people I've never met before. I think you get the same treatment on Comedy Bay.

[Adam Pally]

Why are you talking like that? Be they this.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you trying to do today? Trying to speak like my hero, Willie Shakes, the immortal bard himself.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

He's excited.

[Scott Aukerman]

Author of the Scottish play I Can't.

[Adam Pally]

Stand and intellectually impressive, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have Barbara and Brittany Toadfelson here. They are twins and they're in the industry. Although I've not heard what they do in show business at all. We need to get to our next guest, and I have to say, our next guest has been in the bathroom for about 30 minutes here and has finally come out. We were all ready to go. We had all the ads were done and everything, and then he made us wait for another 25 minutes or so coming out of the bathroom. But he's here now, so it's wonderful to have him. Please welcome. Is it bort?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Mr. Aukerman, while that may be factually accurate, why on earth would you use it to introduce me on your radio program?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, is your Name Bort?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Bort McSpoon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bort McSpoon.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

You have all the information there on the board.

[Adam Pally]

Is that. Is that short for Robort?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yes. Great question. See, that is an introduction that is connecting.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I mean, maybe it was passive aggressive of me and that. And let me say, that was maybe the first time I've ever been passive aggressive on this show, but.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, yeah, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you did keep.

[Adam Pally]

Isn't the title called Comedy Bang Bang?

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe it is, yeah.

[Adam Pally]

That's Brazil.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Agrasm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what CBB stands for?

[Adam Pally]

I don't know if what this is.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I have no idea.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Brittany has cbb.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm wearing a ribbon, though, like a polka do.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

And I noticed that. And I noticed. Adam, you're not wearing a ribbon.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, that's for cbb. I'm wearing the non CBB ribbon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, got it. Oh, I get. I get confused with these ribbons. You're not like the thing.

[Adam Pally]

Do not like the thing. No, don't wear a ribbon for cbp.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Got it. Anyway, board. I'm so sorry. You did keep us waiting for a long time, though.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Ockerman, but I just received devastating news about my wife passing, so I don't know why you have to come at me so aggressively to start the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that made you shit for a really long time.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

What in God's green earth are we doing here? No, I was in your restroom perusing the soaps. I wasn't sure if you. It was my time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you like my collection, by the way?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Loved it. Very Star wars themed. Very on par for everything else. I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, they're start. They. They didn't start out that way, but they all just naturally. Once you start little art, rubbing your body, they turn into a droid or an ingredient.

[Adam Pally]

You found out your wife died today.

[Scott Aukerman]

You.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Thank You. Yes, that's true. That's the information I'm coming with. So when I was in the restroom, I was taking a little bit of time.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were perusing the soaps.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Perusing the Soap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was that 25?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

No. Oh, my Lord. Mr. Aukerman. No. Then I had to open up a RedTube on my browser, on my phone.

[Adam Pally]

And your wife died today. My wife died and you learned of it?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

On red tube.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

No, that's how I look like a lot of things.

[Adam Pally]

I like. I want to be as sympathetic and empathetic. This is horrible.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It seems like you're doing a lot of things post learning of this traumatic incident.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait. The song was post learning your. Your wife had died.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yes. So, Mr. Auchman, Adam Pally here is asking me great questions, connecting with me empathet quickly. Meanwhile, you're coming at me again. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't mean to, but what can I ask. Can I ask about your wife? How did she pass away? I'm so sorry.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Segue.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm trying. I'm trying to segue from the soap thing into what? You know, how did your wife die? I've been doing the show for a while.

[Adam Pally]

I think I had an aunt that died at that supermarket.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, yeah, she was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, are you saying that your. Your wife died on a segue or near a segue?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

At. Segue. On a segue.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, my God.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

It was in the middle of a switching of conversation as well. So it was actually a triple segue. This is all just the information's rolling in, and I didn't know exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're getting information from multiple sources. Why?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Mr. Ackerman, there are reporters on this scene. Yes, yes. Triple Segway death out in public.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Which again, leads me to wonder and to stress, you must be under such duress. So you hear this news and you go, oh, God, I gotta escape this news. I'm gonna open up a porn site on my phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, first of all, I'm thrown by the so. So.

[Adam Pally]

Right, of course.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay, so.

[Adam Pally]

Which is jarring because you're in. Someone's an adult, someone else names Star wars soap.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

It's like very R2D2.

[Adam Pally]

Right?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

These are not. These are not the soaps I'm looking for.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was seven years old when Star wars came out. I'm of that generation. We love our Star Wars.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I have a question, too, which is that you wanted to attend a podcast even after learning.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I appreciate you not leaving us high and dry in C block.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

But were it to be me, I would have just made some excuses and went and dealt with the situation. Why are you here?

[Adam Pally]

And were it to be me, I would have simply said the truth. My wife just passed away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adam Pally]

I need to get out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess when I say excuses, make a noise.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Brittany and I have agreed to never marry.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Right. And it is me. And I decided to continue with my day to deal with the things that I had lined up. And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you have lined up after this?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm doing Marv Maron's last episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

It's his final.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

It's his final.

[Adam Pally]

You're his final guest.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm the guy guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

A guy who's only interesting thing he's mentioned is that he died and watched porn. Right.

[Adam Pally]

Now I know why. Now I know. You open up that red tube. You got to relax before you go to Mark on edge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam, if you thought this was a hard question.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, he's going to grill me about my. I've already heard from Mark.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's.

[Adam Pally]

He loves my special.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, I don't think he would actually.

[Adam Pally]

No, in fact, he told me he didn't.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm an idea man. I have ideas. I just haven't been able to get them out because. Cause Mr. Ackerman here keeps grilling me on my dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. I forgot you were an idea man. Which is how you wanted me to. Because it seems to me like you're a guy with dead wife. Who. Like that porn addict with a dead wife.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, come on. Sure. No, come on. Today. Today I'm dealing with a dead wife. That's not what describes me, but porn addict would. Well, look, the facts of the information may be true, but why on God's green earth are you saying it on your radio program?

[Adam Pally]

You're the one who blessed it. I do have to say, and I never defend Scott, but you are the one that said you were on.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, you had a good question. What was I doing in there for all that time?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Adam Pally]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you don't want to lie to us.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

No, of course I'm answering the question.

[Scott Aukerman]

So did you crank one out in the bathroom?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I tried, but I was too sad on my pain. It didn't happen.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Makes sense. Your subtext is so sad.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you were not. You were not sad enough to not start.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, you got to give. Hey, sometimes you got to give yourself a try, you know, you gotta. You gotta see.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're an optimist.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm an optimist. Eternally. Eternally. Except when I'm getting grilled over here by this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. I don't mean to do that. Well, I'm sorry to hear about your wife in this triple Segway incident.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have family or.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, no. I was gonna ask you. I just. I love your voice.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Thank you.

[Adam Pally]

Could you say something for me?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Could you say.

[Adam Pally]

What is the deal with these airplanes?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

What is the deal with these airplanes?

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. Okay. Okay. I. Look, I do have to say you sound a little bit like.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, let me tell you, I wasn't trying to.

[Scott Aukerman]

But no, you sound a little like a previous guest we've had on this show called Weed Seinfeld, and now I.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Am hearing it myself. I swear to God. Was not the plan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Weed Seinfeld is a comedian who makes.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I've heard him hilarious.

[Scott Aukerman]

He has one. One joke per episode.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Oh, yeah, I've heard a few hilarious.

[Scott Aukerman]

You find a lot in common with this guy. He's special.

[Adam Pally]

Laughs per minute.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Wow. I can't tell you how different of a plan. My voice when I came in.

[Scott Aukerman]

It sounds different. Now that you've heard it, I'll drop.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm going to try to get back.

[Scott Aukerman]

To the way it was when you.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Mr. Arrman.

[Adam Pally]

There we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a yeah. Mr. Ockerman, you're locked in.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yes. I'm an idea man. Okay. Can I get to my idea, Scott? Oh, boy. I can't. I can't shake it. When it's in your ears, you can't shake it.

[Adam Pally]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

This is just. Just like my SNL showcase where every character became a we time.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You auditioned for snl.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course I did.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm an idea man.

[Scott Aukerman]

And your idea was, why don't I become famous on snl?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

What's the deal with this show? Yes, I'm an idea man. I got ideas, and they are industry ideas. These might help you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You might be interested because I don't want to. Just because this terrible thing has occurred. I don't want to.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't want to distract you from what? You came here.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

You keep bringing it up. You keep bringing up the saddest moment of my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

This was the saddest moment of your life? I'm so sorry.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

My wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are some other sad moments in life? Yeah.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I remember seeing with honors the movie Joe Pesci Dies at the End. Spoiler. Sorry. It's sad.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? I walked out, so I'm glad to hear. I. I've I don't have that closure yet. Until now.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

He said he had Adam's number because he's unhoused and you would reach out.

[Adam Pally]

I wish we would not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. I do remember the one line I remember from that movie is someone said, you know, if we're not careful, we're going to be graduating without honors. And it was like they were aware of the title of the movie they were in.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I like that. It's like hearing. It's like hearing the name of the album in a song.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Or in an improv scene where someone says the suggestion laid into the scene because no one said it yet. They think the audience needs to hear it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you know so much about improv?

[Adam Pally]

You're very clued into this scene.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm in the industry. I'm an idea man. What better ideas than improv? Am I right?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I need some ideas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boris, let's hear some of these ideas.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

All right, so I have this game show idea. Okay, here's what we do. We line up a bunch of sexy singles, right?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Ugh, no singles.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Yeah, no offense.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Oh, right.

[Adam Pally]

Maybe we could come up with a different term.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

A bunch of sexy non relationshipers.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Great.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay. And then while they're on the studio, we sneak into their houses and we pull out their pillows. The actual pillows they sleep on. Right. We take off the. We take off the case and then we put these disgusting sweat soaked pillows in front of them and make them try to guess whose pillow is whose.

[Adam Pally]

I. I have a couple. Well, is it worth it to ask.

[Scott Aukerman]

Any follow up questions? I mean, we may as well dig in a little bit.

[Adam Pally]

What? How?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like why?

[Adam Pally]

What? Sweat?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Have you ever looked at your pillow?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, after.

[Adam Pally]

I mean, I don't like stare it down exactly.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

That's my point. No one would know. And so they look so hot. These, these, these, these people. These sexy hot people look so hot. And then we see their disgusting pillow.

[Adam Pally]

You're so horned up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What? Why do you. It sounds like you just want to gather a bunch of sexy people.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And like you're watching Red Tube in the bathroom.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You're watching Pillowcase.

[Scott Aukerman]

Red tube.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

It's almost like you guys can't leave the fact that, sure, while I was in a stranger's bathroom for a little time, I perused Red Tube.

[Scott Aukerman]

Peruse. Peruse.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

That's a gentle term. It's hard to find the perfect video that you're looking for.

[Adam Pally]

You're perusing the soap. You were looking at porn.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay, fair at em. Can I just take the note.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think you need the pillowcase aspect of it. I think the sexy people coming to a location is enough. And then they hook up or whatever, you know?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, but it's a game show, right?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

What's the mechanic of the game?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, well, because if you. I don't think people could identify their pillows.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't care what you think.

[Adam Pally]

So it's really just about guessing pillows?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

If it's just about guessing pillows, why.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they need to be sexy?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Because you think sexy people are gonna have clean pillows, but they don't. We all have disgusting pillows. It's a commentary on life. There's disgusting pillows behind all of us. You're not looking at it right. You're putting a. Oh, you're putting a thing on top of it. But how many. How often do you buy a pillow? Once every, what, 20 years?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you wash your pillow, don't you?

[Adam Pally]

What?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

What?

[Adam Pally]

You change the case?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, the case. But the pillow.

[Scott Aukerman]

The case is what protects but the pillow from your silk sleeping head.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I defy everyone who's listening to this right now. Pause this podcast, go look at your pillow and tell me that you're not disgusted. Well, I'll wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't. I really don't want you to do that.

[Adam Pally]

Supposed to be police all around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What is happening with it? Why are there so many police everywhere?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I don't know. I. I'm not the police.

[Adam Pally]

Why did you answer? No one asked.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was just saying. We were just looking around.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

What's the deal with all the police?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. All right, Try to work some weed into it.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

It's another guy's job. Not trying to take this thing. Okay, fine. Bad idea. Fine. Bad idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

You seem a little like this other guest I've had on who comes on and pitches musicals. Okay, like bad ideas for music.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

These all sound like you're a combination.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of these two guests.

[Adam Pally]

Okay, they sound funny.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

They sound funny. These all. I sound funny?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. No, you literally sound funny. Yeah, you sound funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a wonderful addition to comedy Bang Bang canon. Please continue with your ideas, Robart.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

All right, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Robart.

[Adam Pally]

Robort.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

A single. A single panel cartoon.

[Adam Pally]

Okay?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Two sexy singles, Right? Or two sexy people are talking to each other, and then we see the person who they're talking about, and these two are saying to each other, boy, you notice that he wears the same jeans all the time? And the other one goes, yeah, I do notice that. How embarrassing, right? A comet kind of.

[Adam Pally]

This all happens in the Same cell.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

This is a one paneler.

[Adam Pally]

Well, they all say so much. Isn't it just gonna be huge bubbles?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, it's a big bubble. It's a. Or it could be written farsight underneath if you want.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're alive. The first idea was a TV show idea. And then this is for a comic panel.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Single panel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Single panel.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Single panel.

[Adam Pally]

Is it big? Is it big?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Taking a vacation. They need one week off. I'll jump in there. I'll do it. It can be big, it can be small. Size of the panel.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, this is a daily strip. I'm assuming, like, you would need to do seven of these ideas. You can't just come in.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. Who does a weekly single panel?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

The Family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Family Circus.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Family Circus.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a daily thing. Bill Keane with one L, man, he's.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Oh, boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's pumping him out.

[Adam Pally]

Kathy is. Is daily, isn't it? Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crankshaft.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Can I do it? Can I fill in for Crankshaft one time?

[Adam Pally]

All right. Dilbert, maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Dilbert.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Oh, he's crazy.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay. Sure. Yeah. So that one. Yeah. All right. We'll say yes to this one.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I've had success in my career before.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you're trading career.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm an idea man. So, for example, I used to watch NBA basketball games. And I noticed. I said, the guys who are touching each other, their teams are better. You know, I was watching. I was watching Rick Fox. I was watching Rex Chapman.

[Scott Aukerman]

I watched.

[Adam Pally]

This is a long time ago.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, Yeah. I was watching him. I was watching these guys. I was watching these touch touches.

[Scott Aukerman]

High five.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, like a high five. A slap on the butt at the free throw line. A little touch. You know, you are so horned up. This is actual.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

This red tube says free throw porn.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay. Yeah. You gotta put in code words. That's how you. Otherwise, they'd send you to stuff like, you know, a lot of stepmom stuff that doesn't pertain to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yuck.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so you don't have a stepmom.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I do, and that's why it doesn't pertain to me. I don't wanna. I love her. What in God.

[Scott Aukerman]

When did she join your family?

[Adam Pally]

Family.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

A couple of months ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Couple of months?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You already.

[Adam Pally]

And she must be quite old.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

She's very old. Yeah. Honestly, I think it's a situation. My dad's on the way out, and it's a nurse taking advantage, but, gosh, I respect her.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, all right.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm not trying to do anything there.

[Adam Pally]

Okay. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

The more you say you're not trying to, it makes me feel like there's something.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

We don't have plans to do anything together. We're not running away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Deal with her.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Exactly. And so we're touching basketball players. They're touching.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're touching. And those are the teams that have the study. I did a study.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

And the more you touch. And this is a real thing that coaches do teach in the NBA currently, that they want their players to touch more. They said, yes. The more the teams that touch more, the teams that are more connected and win more basketball games. And that is how I got into the idea game. That was my first successful launch into ideas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, your idea was one that someone already had.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

They were doing it. No one was noticing. Listen, no one was noticing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, but no, you just said that the coaches touching this guy say that. That.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Because I wrote the. Because I wrote the research.

[Scott Aukerman]

They got it from your research.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

They got it from my research.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, what research? Was it a book or you just like sent a letter or what was it?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I wrote it on my notes app. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. Did you send it to anyone?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yes, NBA. I sent it to the NBA. Gmail.com.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nba gmail.com. yes.

[Adam Pally]

I'm sorry. And your wife died today? Today. In a three way Segway accident.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yes. And I'm here. I'm getting myself. Meanwhile, Scott's grilling me.

[Scott Aukerman]

The police. By the way, three more cars have arrived here.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Are you a chopper? I hear it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I just say, are you here to establish an alibi? Were you. You. You're. You didn't come here just because you know that there's a tunnel leading out of my bathroom. Oh, to the outside street that I have just in case versus the old Rockefeller estate. Exactly.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Sure. I perused the comedy Bang bang Reddit. I've. I've heard of your tunnel from your bath.

[Scott Aukerman]

It sounds to me. Can you give us a second? Because I want to talk to Adam and Barbara and Brittany here for a second.

[Adam Pally]

You could go to the bathroom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Go to the bathroom again.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'm gonna get judged if I open up a. Another video.

[Adam Pally]

Yes. Yeah. Don't open any files. Okay.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Are you downloading those files? It takes so long.

[Adam Pally]

Download it.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

If you find a favorite, you want to own it.

[Adam Pally]

That's stealing.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I believe even owning media, they say that everything's available to you. But when you get on there, you can't find your favorite movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think they're revoking the licenses to porn videos that are out there say so.

[Adam Pally]

Public domain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give us a second.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I'll go to the bathroom. The one place with an escape plan.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that he. I gotta say, I think he was gone. Not watching these porn videos. I think that's weirdly. I think it's an excuse, and I.

[Adam Pally]

Think it's so we could tell the cops we remember him clearly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

When you. It's like. Like you want to be memorable so that we. We know he was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, he was dead.

[Adam Pally]

He was a weird guy watching porn.

[Scott Aukerman]

Watching porn in our bathroom the entire time. I think he.

[Adam Pally]

He definitely killed his wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

Killed his wife?

[Adam Pally]

Definitely.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I think he killed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

We all think he killed his wife. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he killed his wife.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, definitely.

[Adam Pally]

All right. I'll just go talk to him. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, go talk to him. And.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Barbara and Brittany and I will hang out here.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Wow, this Wheat Seinfeld guy's pretty funny. Oh, hello.

[Adam Pally]

Hey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. So we just. We.

[Adam Pally]

We kind of all came to a consensus.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Hey, thanks for coming.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah. And we feel like it's maybe best that you should go out to see the police because we feel like you've killed your wife.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay. Well. What. Why are you grabbing my phone?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's he saying in there?

[Adam Pally]

He's. He's actually being really chill about it.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Why. Why you grabbing my phone?

[Adam Pally]

If you just come with me.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Why you grabbing my phone?

[Adam Pally]

Make it easy, don't make it hard.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Why you picking a video?

[Adam Pally]

Listen, don't. Don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you find the videos?

[Adam Pally]

Don't make me press play on this video.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

Okay, now come with me.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

Don't make me press play.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, press play on that video.

[Adam Pally]

I'm pressing play.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

What's the deal with weed? I mean, why do we call this stuff weed?

[Adam Pally]

What are you watching?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

It's an unwanted plan. I'm paying 50 bucks for this stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want watching weed Seinfeld videos. Even worse.

[Adam Pally]

I think he's watching Britney.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ew.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You disgusting pervert.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

What?

[Adam Pally]

Huh?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You were watching a Weed Seinfeld video that my sister Brittany went to the taping of and laughed at. Laughed at her ass off at.

[Adam Pally]

Oh, that's different. That's different than what I thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

No, no, no. What? Thing is. Right.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, she's wrong.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I was watching Weed Seinfeld have sex with my sister.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Apparently he does his act during sex. What's the deal with that?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Britney. We said we would never marry and we would never have sex. What do you have to. Oh, I know. What you have to say, you stupid. Don't even.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I figured don't turn up.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Let's all notice that Britney Speed being crazy unhinged.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Barbara and Brittany are crazy.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I think we know who the police are here for.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm being hysterical.

[Adam Pally]

I'm sorry. I was wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, please.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, you can stay there.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Oh, thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I don't.

[Adam Pally]

I gotta get out of here, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, I know you do, Adam, but we all think that you killed your wife. And I think you know, Mr. Aukerman.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Even if that's factually accurate, why would you say that on your gosh darn road? You'll probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is the podcast of record. This is where people go to. To learn the tr.

[Adam Pally]

Bang bang times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Wow.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

The bang bang times. Well, maybe I.

[Adam Pally]

Maybe, yeah. Yeah.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Okay, maybe I Did you did.

[Scott Aukerman]

You admit. Oh, my God. He admitted he killed his wife.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

So that segue story, that was just.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

No, I was the fourth segue.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was the fourth segue. Adam, you don't seem surprised. We gasped.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, because that's the. That's the fourth segue way.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

This makes sense. Well, we've had murderers on this show before, of course. Yeah, and my friend O.J. simpson's been on the show. Unrelated.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Unrelated, sure. Yeah. He wanted his memorabilia back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. Norbert.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

So are you even an idea man?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, I got ideas. Like a movie about a sleepaway camp where everyone's dead except for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is. This is our idea. We already mailed it to the Writers Guild.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Dang it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Sorry.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

All right. Yeah, it's an alibi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

It was really nice meeting the three of you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It really. Yeah, it really was. But you know what? We are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show, and it is, of course, a little something called Plugs. No, you shan't find me in Hackney Town for Hackneys full of thugs. See, I am an English gentleman and I wish to hear your Plugs. Obviously. Well cut before the fart.

[Adam Pally]

I like that one a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was English Gentle Plugs by Matt Landry featuring Fart. Thanks so much to Matt Landry and featuring Fart. And if you have a Plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com plugs and you can upload it there as well as find anything you'd need for it. Plugs closing remix. And Adam, what do we want to plug? Obviously, an Intimate Evening with Adam Pally comes out this Thursday.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, Intimate Evening without a Pally on Thursday on hbo. And Staying Alive Podcast on Smartless Air, Sirius Radio.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're seeing a live podcast, Staying Alive. Staying Alive. Oh, I see. That makes more sense.

[Adam Pally]

Sorry. Staying Alive podcast that I do with John Gabriel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does that come out every week? Every week. And I'm going to be a guest on that.

[Adam Pally]

You're going to be our next guest?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Yeah, that's exciting for me. And I can't.

[Adam Pally]

I'll treat you with the same respect you've given me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just. And I looked up what the topic of your. Your show is about. I'm like, I don't know that I have anything to say on this.

[Adam Pally]

So it's going to be a fun time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it will be. I want to talk to Barbara and Britney. What do you want to plug here?

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Well, Barbara and Britney have just booked their first gig, which is Idea Man's Dating Game show. We're so excited already in the work. Yeah, we're really excited.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought the business was. Was contracting. You sold this just off of being on a podcast.

[Adam Pally]

I've seen it before.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

It's really incredible in the room. And we also want to promote Reika shankar's [e-mail] you can sign up to learn more about it. And we're doing these behind the scenes zooms we, pretending I'm Reika, are doing behind the scenes zooms that you can sign up to See.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's funny. To pretend you're someone you're not.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I know.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

That was fun.

[Adam Pally]

God, that came out, though, because I was right and the logic was so necessary.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

It was so necessary.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ravi.com iscom this is R E K H A Movie.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You nailed that spot.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's my homepage.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

That's your homepage?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I love it there.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

You're excited.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'm very excited. And Bort Rob or Nor Bort Spoon. What do you want to plug?

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, plug right after my wife had to be unplugged from the. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, all right.

[Adam Pally]

Too soon.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Before I. Before I get arrested, I am going to try to escape to Australia with a holy shit improv and do some shows on November 21st or 23rd at the Improv Theater, Sydney. And then I'm hopefully gonna sit in in Melbourne at the Comedy Republic Improv Conspiracy and Speakeasy Theater. Those are in Melbourne on November 26th through the 30th. And if you happen to be in LA, there's a group holy shit improv. They're doing a show on Halloween night in the Dark. An improv show in the Dark. In Los Angeles.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got asked to do this show and I, I. It's so strange. Like, of course I can't do the show on Halloween. I have a child. I don't know why I was asked by that.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Well, sometimes bookers don't have children.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't even think of those.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Or also don't know when children start.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Doing stuff, when their behaviors begin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adam Pally]

Or what time it's over.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

And then they can sit around like four or something. I don't know.

[Adam Pally]

Usually things like that are most convenient for the parents.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was the quickest no I think I've ever given.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

As someone who is a booker. Sometimes nothing better than actually a quick.

[Scott Aukerman]

No is actually honestly wonderful. Yeah.

[Adam Pally]

Worst thing is, like, give me a day.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would love a quick yes. Probably the best. But a quick no is preferable to a slow yes.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Exactly.

[Adam Pally]

That's exactly how I told my publicist to deal with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You wrote me back immediately.

[Adam Pally]

I know. Because I love, love you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love you, too. And you know what else I love? I love what I'm about to plug. We have Italiano Jones and Entre p newer action figures now on sale. People have been getting these. I got mine. They're right up here. They're gorgeous. They are now on [e-mail] and that series two is starting. So we're gonna have some great ones coming up. We also have in stock Randy Snuts and Carissa, Big sue, sprag, the whisperer, J.W. stillwater, and some of me. Complete your collection. Also, European customers can go to action figureseller.com for cheaper import fees. And we also. We started doing. This is exciting a couple of weeks ago when we had Jason Mandukas and my stepfather Bob Duka on. Bob Duka said something that we've turned into a T shirt. So it's. We have. I believe it's. You can't afford these mustache rides T shirts with Bob Dukas face on them. You can get those right now. And we also have some CBB throwback tees. Calvin's twin twins. Comedy bing bong. All joking. A salad hae nong man shirts. All of these are [e-mail] Comedy Bang Bang. All right, let's close up the old plug. Bag.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Open.

[Adam Pally]

Grab the plug.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I like that one. I like when people out there realize what that song that Ben sang at the beginning of the year sounds like another song that was called don't go chasing plug bags by Alex Dale. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Adam An Intimate evening with Adam Pally. This is exciting.

[Adam Pally]

Thank you again.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've seen it already. I'm one of the lucky few. But everyone should be out there watching it. Do you get ratings for stuff like that?

[Adam Pally]

I don't think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they just tell you?

[Adam Pally]

They just go like, hey, it did well, like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how they're gonna. If they. I don't know what they're gonna say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who knows, maybe they never call you again.

[Adam Pally]

They probably, if I'm lucky, they call me like, we hated it. We hated everything. No one watched it and we knew it was a mistake.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but check it out. I know we've had a lot of fun on this show here, but you and I are friends. We like, know you, I know you.

[Adam Pally]

It's a. I know you like my comedy Sky. I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

And also check out your. When you hosted the Late Late Show.

[Adam Pally]

That's still similar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's still on.

[Adam Pally]

Someone tell me you can find it like in. On YouTube in like dark, like if you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's very funny. I, I actually think that might be the future of late night comedy. Just people like not planning anything and just, just, you know.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah, I hope so. You know, at least there would be late night, like. Yeah, I think that's the way late.

[Scott Aukerman]

Night comedy is so overproduced now. And with. With so many talking points that have been pre planned and all that kind of stuff. Like what you guys did on that show, I feel like, well, like podcasts.

[Adam Pally]

Like isn't that like Graham Norton or like a chat show is like. Yeah, I agree.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, so I. If they were to offer you the Colbert slot just doing what you did on that show, would you take it?

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adam Pally]

So would I. I think you. Anybody would. I think anyone, anyone would say no. I would be like, what's wrong with you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, Exactly.

[Adam Pally]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I want to thank Barbara and Brittany Toad Felson. So wonderful to meet you guys.

[Adam Pally]

So wonderful.

[Scott Aukerman]

And seriously, call up John Mayer and. And get involved in those sphere shows.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

You think?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

Okay. That's great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Barbara Toadfelson]

I don't need Britney to talk again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I noticed you fiddling with your phone.

[Adam Pally]

Is her battery low?

[Scott Aukerman]

And then look, bort norbort. Yeah, McSpoon.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I give complete credit. You can use the one panel cartoon to make a T shirt if you want.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know the will.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

All right, fine. Just a picture of a sweat stained pillow. Feel free.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever.

[Adam Pally]

Honestly, I don't think they're any worse than any of those T shirts.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it's at this point during the show that we ceremoniously turn you over to the authority authorities. Oh, boy.

[Adam Pally]

Goodbye, buddy.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, bye, Will. We'll see you.

[Adam Pally]

I look forward to seeing you next time.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please come back if you ever are paroled or right.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

Yeah, no, I'll come back. Book me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just gotta try to change your voice.

[Robort/Bort McSpoon]

I gotta do mayor and then I'm gonna do Mary.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? Do the final marriage. I'll talk to the police to make sure you. All right, thanks. We'll see you next week. Bye.

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[Adam Pally]

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[Joel Kim Booster]

Hey guys. Joel Kim, Booster here with a very exciting announcement that I am the newest host of the podcast Bad Dates. I am so excited to be here and sharing all the wildest, most chaotic and iconic bad date stories with you. I'll be joined by friends like Peppermint, Scott Thompson, Casey Wilson, Ron Funches and MJ Rodriguez and will hear all about their most notorious bad dates. It'll make you laugh, cry, cringe, and maybe make you feel a little better about your own dating life. You don't want to miss it. Listen to Bad Dates by subscribing to Sirius XM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or listening wherever you get your podcasts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bad Dates did you know 39% of teen drivers admit to texting while driving? Even scarier, those who text are more likely to speed and run red light. Shockingly, 94% know it's dangerous, but do it anyway. As a parent, you can't always be in the car, but you can stay connected to their safety with Greenlight Infiniti's driving reports. Monitor their driving habits, see if they're using their phone, speeding and more. These reports provide real data for meaningful conversations about safety. Plus, with weekly updates, you can track their progress over time. Help keep your teens safe. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast.