A Thanator Around Your Neck (Anna Konkle, Griffin Newman, Connor Ratliff, Anna Bezahler)

Summary

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Comedy Bang Bang: “A Thanator Around Your Neck”

Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Anna Konkle, Griffin Newman, Connor Ratliff, Anna Bezahler (as herself and “Leaf Clover”)
Date: January 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang blends signature absurdity and meta-comedy as Scott welcomes Anna Konkle (Pen15, The Drop), along with returning character guests “James Cameron” (Griffin Newman) and “Jake Sully” (Connor Ratliff) from Avatar, plus “Leaf Clover” (Anna Bezahler), a somatic therapist. The show covers Anna’s new movie and memoir, an extended satirical “press conference” for the underperforming Avatar: Fire and Ash, and a parody therapy session, with the freewheeling tone, dense callbacks, and gleeful bits that define Comedy Bang Bang.

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Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. Anna Konkle Interview: “Untitled Home Invasion Romance” & Memoir

(00:44 – 25:26)

• Anna’s New Movie

  • Anna discusses her role in the comedy-thriller "Untitled Home Invasion Romance," a directorial debut by Jason Biggs.

  • Plot revolves around a couple’s crumbling marriage and a staged home invasion that goes horribly wrong.

  • Anna plays the small-town sheriff—a role she jokes is “the only thing [she] could be in that town.”

    Quote:
    “So basically, Jason and the character that Jason plays... surprises [his wife] by going back to her hometown... [He] stages a fake home invasion that then goes wrong in order to play the hero.”
    — Anna Konkle, 09:39

• On Being a Sheriff

  • Anna riffs with Scott about law enforcement onscreen vs. her personal beliefs.
  • Talks about her “hippie” upbringing in Vermont and Massachusetts.

• The Evolution of the Film’s Name

  • Jokes about whether “Untitled Home Invasion Romance” would ever get a real title; conclusion: that IS the title.

• Anna’s Memoir: “The Sane One”

  • Out May 5, with Random House.

  • Memoir explores her parents’ divorce, her childhood, and her estrangement & reconciliation with her dad.

  • She admits the title is ironic: “I’m not the sane one. Spoiler.”

    Quote:
    “We didn’t speak for a year. We didn’t see each other for five years... I’m not the sane one. Spoiler.”
    — Anna Konkle, 18:57

• Other News

  • Appearance in upcoming season of “Hacks.”
  • New film at South by Southwest: Joe Swanberg’s The Sun Never Sets.

Memorable Moment:

• Scott and Anna’s riff on never dying:
  “I run pretty fast. I can outrun Lady Death.”
  — Scott Aukerman, 15:00

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2. Avatar Segment: James Cameron & Jake Sully Press Conference

(31:12 – 54:08)

• The Bit:

  • James Cameron and Jake Sully (in character) join to address the “failure” of Avatar: Fire and Ash (satirically noting “only” $1.5B box office).

    Quote:
    “In less than one month, Avatar: Fire and Ash has only made $1.5 billion… It’s embarrassing.”
    — Jake Sully/Connor Ratliff, 35:07

• Industry Satire

  • They bemoan being “box office poison,” plan to “release” Avatars 4 and 5 as a press conference since interest has evaporated.

• Plot Reveals & Meta-Humor

  • Unchecked, they spoil future sequels, riffing that Avatar 5 would let Spider bring “every character from every movie ever” onto Pandora—including Kramer vs. Kramer, the Cool Runnings team, minions, and even “the door from Titanic.”

  • Plans for every film character to become a Navi, satirizing IP crossovers.

    Quote:
    "In Avatar 5, Spider has the ability to bring every character in the history of movies back to life."
    — James Cameron/Griffin Newman, 46:01

• Anna’s Parodic New Role

  • She's offered “the door from Titanic” and jokes through contract terms.

• Recurring Meta-Bit:

  • The segment gleefully drags, with guests repeatedly noting its excessive (even by CBB standards) length.

    Quote:
    "I'm no director, but I feel like this segment's been running very long. If I were you… I would have gone to a break by now." — Jake Sully/Connor Ratliff, 53:07

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3. Leaf Clover: Somatic Therapist

(57:33 – 71:16)

• Introduction

  • “Leaf Clover” (Anna Bezahler) joins as a self-styled somatic therapist—therapy focused on bodily sensations.
  • Asks guests about their physical sensations, “presses” on Scott, and prompts Anna to Venmo her $1 per minute for therapy.

• Bits & Satire

  • Anna is genuinely enthusiastic about therapy, while Scott is skeptical.

  • The segment parodies the language and quirks of real-life wellness and bodywork trends.

    Quote:
    “Somatic therapy is therapy that focuses on the body… the body keeps the score…”
    — Leaf Clover/Anna Bezahler, 58:18

• Comedic Highlights

  • Jake Sully describes his two “births” (Earth, then as Navi).
  • Literal and figurative interpretations: fortress analogized as emotional boundaries; pushing on the pelvis as therapy.

• Notable Exchange:
  “I feel like the segment needs to wrap up.”
  — Scott Aukerman, 71:33

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4. Plugs & Close

(72:17 – 81:10)

• Plug Bag Song

  • An epically long, intentionally overblown song submission leads into the plug segment.

• Plugs

  • Anna:
    • “Untitled Home Invasion Romance” (Jan 27, VOD)
    • Memoir “The Sane One” (May 5)
    • Upcoming “Hacks” episode
    • “The Sun Never Sets” (SXSW premiere; Joe Swanberg film)
  • James & Jake:
    • Reluctantly plug “Avatar: Fire and Ash”
    • Hulu plug for “Blank Check” podcast (which “defends” the new Avatar movie)
    • Griffin/Connor project plugs: “Acting Class” (YouTube), “George Lucas Talk Show”
  • Leaf/Anna Bezahler:
    • “Anna and Isabella Do Improv” podcast
    • “Crazy Story Show” (YouTube)
    • Will Hines’ “Play by Play” (tour Feb 5-9)

• Signature Closer

  • Classic bits and running gags, extended riffing on the absurdity of the plug segment’s length.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Anna on memoir family drama:

  • "We didn't speak for a year. We didn't see each other for five years...I'm not the sane one. Spoiler." (18:57)

• James Cameron on Avatar’s fortunes:

  • "It's a bittersweet day for us... we have to admit in less than one month, Avatar: Fire and Ash has only made $1.5 billion." (35:07)

• Meta humor on segment length:

  • “I'm no director, but I feel like this segment's been running very long. If I were you… I would have gone to a break by now.” (53:07)

• Anna on classic community theater beginnings:

  • "I really came out strong with Annie... No, I was Tessie... Nobody knows who Tessie is." (13:21-13:32)

• Anna’s therapist enthusiasm:

  • "I really love therapy." (57:44)

• Jake Sully’s deepest wounds:

  • "I built a fortress of love around myself." (62:00)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Anna Konkle Interview (Film & Memoir): 00:44 – 25:26
• Avatar: James Cameron & Jake Sully Press Conference: 31:12 – 54:08
• Leaf Clover, Somatic Therapist Parody: 57:33 – 71:16
• Plugs & Closing: 72:17 – end

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Episode Tone & Style

Delightfully unhinged, densely referential, and packed with longform bits, this episode features CBB’s core strengths: surreal improvisation, affectionate showbiz parody, satire of Hollywood self-seriousness (especially with the Avatar segment), and recurring meta commentary (especially about the show’s own structure and the patience of its listeners). Animated interplay and playful in-jokes make it accessible—even if you’re unfamiliar with every guest’s whole back catalogue.

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By the end, the show’s in-jokes, character commitment, and constant breaking of the fourth wall remind listeners why Comedy Bang Bang remains a podcast comedy institution.

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Transcript

[A]

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[A]

You'Ve got a mountain of useless expired coupons.

[B]

Do you think this one's still good? Free milk.

[A]

Oh mate, that expired in 1993.

[C]

Dang it.

[B]

Fortunately, there are better ways to save money. Like by switching to Geico. You could save about $900 on car insurance without ever touching a coupon. Ooh, how about this one? Half off floppy disks. Now you should try a bit of spring cleaning. It feels good to save big. It feels good to Geico. Sorry Mr. Tyler, but if it's in an elevator, it's not love. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you so much to Jman the Great for that catchphrase submission. By the way, we're only taking new catchphrase submissions. I for a while I was, I was taking them from back in 2022 or 2023. Only new ones. This is submitted to us on January 6th. Wait for it, 2026. So and that, that's Jman the Great, of course. Cash Frey, superstar. Thank you so much. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. I am the host of Comedy Bang Bang and we have an show, we have two actors today. We have a filmmaker. Well, I guess they're both film. Two of them are both filmmakers. One definitely. I, I would be interested if the other actor has ever directed a film. And we also have a therapist here on the show today. So that's, that's fan. I think this is going to be an airtight show and let's, let's not waste any more time getting to it. You know, I mean we have quite honestly someone who is entering the three timers club today here on Comedy Bang Bang. And that's always an exciting day for us. You know her as the co creator and co star of the critically and audience ly acclaimed television show Pen15. You know her from the After Party season two. You know her from the drop season One.

[D]

It's a movie.

[B]

I call movies seasons. Okay. You don't need to correct me. You're. You're in the three timers club. You can relax.

[D]

Apologies.

[C]

You.

[B]

You've made it.

[D]

I know. I'm gonna recline. Is there a way. I'm good.

[B]

Her chair just went all the way down to the ground.

[D]

I need to get grounded here.

[B]

No, I apologize. I did not see the drop. Please send me a link. Anna is telling me she'll send link.

[D]

Yeah, I'll send you a link.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

But what else would we know you from? Because I know you from those three things, one of which I've not seen.

[D]

Fair. Very fair. What else would you know me from? Oh, Murderbot.

[B]

Murderbot. Yes. I was reading about Murderbot today.

[D]

It's a really good show.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, thanks.

[B]

Get a lot of thumbs up from the panel.

[D]

Yeah. I got to play really crazy character last year. That was cool.

[B]

Were you the titular Murderbot, or were you someone who was murdered? Or were you.

[D]

I think enough time's gone by that I can. It was sort of a. Like a. I was a decoy.

[B]

Oh, decoy Murderbot.

[D]

A decoy like. Like rescue survivor from a. From a crash that was in love with Alexander Scargard's AI botness.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And I'm trying to, like, hook up with him, essentially.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Did you ever get to hook up with him both in the movie and real life?

[D]

Yes and yes.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

And yes. Just kidding.

[B]

Ladies love him. You don't have to say. Just kidding. Kidding. By the way, you're in the free.

[D]

Timers club, so it's just. Everything here is just known as a joke. Okay. That's actually a huge relief. Yeah, yeah. No, we. He's lovely, though.

[B]

People. People love him.

[D]

And he's very funny.

[B]

Very funny.

[D]

He's very, very funny.

[B]

I met him at a party once. He was nice.

[D]

Yeah, you guys did we. Yeah.

[B]

That's what I mean by party. That's.

[D]

I know, I know.

[B]

If I meant cocaine party, I'd be tapping the side of my nose. No, this was a sex party.

[D]

This was a sex party.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

Yeah. Okay, cool.

[B]

So please, let's welcome her. I haven't said your name yet, so I should.

[D]

Oh, no one knows.

[B]

Please, let's welcome her. Anna Conle is back. Welcome to the Three Timers Club.

[D]

Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.

[B]

So great to see you again. You, of course, first came on in the throes of pen 15, and then for the afterparty season two, where you had a nice little Wes Anderson episode of that show, you. And we. I don't think enough time has passed to say that you're the murderer or not in that. So I die.

[D]

Okay, so is that all right?

[B]

You're not the murderer, although you could be the murderer who turns the gun upon himself once he's caught.

[D]

I try to kill everybody in it and then someone explodes my head.

[B]

Now you are in a new film. And now this, this is a real head scratcher here.

[D]

I agree.

[B]

Because you're in a new film. I've been hearing about this film for about a month and when I heard about it a month ago, it was, it was called Untitled Home Invasion Romance.

[D]

Correct.

[B]

And then I assumed, in between me requesting you to come on the show and you being here, that event, that it would change and I would have the new information. I got the, the press materials today and it still says Untitled Home Invasion Romance. And so I asked you, are they ever going to title this thing? It's coming out next. And that is the, the official title.

[D]

That is the title. But I, I mean some of the cast, when we went to the very first screening, we were like, I wonder when they're gonna title it. This is crazy. And then we realized at the very end and put it together and. Yeah, that's the title.

[B]

And that there's something to realize about it. At the very end. No, no, just at the very end.

[D]

They just ran. They ran out of time. That's it.

[B]

Oh, you thought they were going to title it during the runtime of the movie.

[E]

Correct.

[D]

The movie ended. It didn't get titled. And, and they, they're going it. Yeah, it is relevant to the story.

[B]

Okay, well, let's talk about, let's talk about what this is. This is the first time director, but we all know him from such films as American Pie and that one Woody Allen. We do. I have to talk about that. But Jason Biggs has directed this. Did he write it too? I can't.

[D]

He didn't write it. He didn't write it. But he was a wonderful director and.

[B]

He also stars in it.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And there are, there's someone else who.

[D]

Had a Megan Rath.

[B]

Megan Rath is.

[D]

Who is wonderful in it. And Arturo Castro.

[B]

Arturo Castro is in this as well. This is a stacked cast.

[D]

It's stacked huge.

[B]

The, the. It's a, it's an intriguing premise for a film.

[D]

Uh huh.

[B]

But I'd like, I'd like you to.

[D]

Say it because I don't think I.

[B]

Could do it justice.

[D]

Well, it's untitled, I'll tell you that.

[E]

It is.

[D]

So basically, Jason and the character that Jason plays in his. Obviously it's not a doc, so it's not Jason.

[B]

And he's also playing a character. It's. It's just him playing a character in this. Because a lot of people come and they go, jason Biggs in a movie. And then he's playing someone named Phil. And you're like, hold on, I want to see Jason Biggs in this.

[D]

Right? Correct. Yes. So it's, it's, it's a, it's a doc about him directing his first. So you don't see the narrative, but you just see him direct.

[B]

Okay, good.

[D]

I'm just kidding.

[B]

So just the cameras are pointed the wrong way and they said, let's make the most of this. Or the right way documentary.

[D]

That's right. Okay. So Jason and his wife. Wife, who Megan plays, are on the rocks and about to get a divorce, essentially.

[B]

Oh, no.

[D]

And it is the. It is a thriller, if you're wondering. It's a comedy thriller. And I also.

[B]

It's also a home invasion romance.

[E]

Correct.

[D]

Okay. Untitled. And he surprises her on a weekend getaway after one of his acting classes. Cuz he's, he's, he's an actor. He does a lot of commercials and he's trying to like, you know, get. Become bigger.

[B]

Sort of what Zach Braff did in that one movie.

[D]

True. Yes.

[A]

Got it.

[D]

And then, and then, and then. So he surprises her by going back to her hometown. She's not too thrilled about that.

[B]

With her.

[D]

With her.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

He's like, babe, this is going to be a, you know, great escape. That's the line.

[B]

A great escape.

[D]

Babe, this is going to be a great escape. That was the first line of the movie.

[B]

That's. Oh, really? Fade in.

[D]

Fade in.

[B]

Babe, this is going to be a great, really great escape.

[D]

Now cut to title card.

[B]

Does anyone say this movie should be called the Great Escape?

[D]

Yeah, I suggested it.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It's not during. They're still thinking about it.

[B]

When you were watching it at the.

[D]

Yeah, at the premiere. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Hey, Jason.

[D]

I noticed there's no title yet. Oh, God, I'm gonna belabor that joke for a long time. Okay. And, and, yeah, and. And shit goes wrong. She has a chance of having a dark past and they're in her hometown.

[A]

What?

[B]

I was reading in the press materials.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What did they say?

[B]

They said that the marriage is crumbling and in order to get sort of the spark back into it, he stages a fake home invasion. That then goes wrong in order to play the hero.

[D]

That's a better description. Yes. Wasn't sure if they were saving that.

[B]

That It's. It's right there in the press materials. As far as I'm concerned. There was no embargo on these materials that I could see.

[D]

No.

[B]

So I. I'm just going to say it right here. I mean, honestly, pretty skimpy press materials. It just said that.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Then it had a full page cover letter from Jason Biggs about what he wanted to do with the movie.

[D]

Actually, yes. Oh, wow.

[B]

And then three bios and out.

[D]

Okay. Was I one of the bios?

[B]

Your bio was extensive. Like, longer than the others.

[D]

And yet we can't remember what. I'm in because there hasn't been that much.

[B]

It also seemed like it hadn't been edited recently because I think a couple of times it reiterated the same points. It was like someone just added to it and then didn't read the. The part above it or something like. Anyway, look, no one reads press materials except you.

[D]

Every line. Did it say that I drive stick shift? Like.

[B]

Oh, no, that's not in there. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna add it.

[D]

That was in my old resume.

[B]

Editing privileges on these.

[D]

Yes, probably. They're probably still passing around the Google sheets to every. Because it's untitled.

[B]

It isn't a Google Dropbox link for me, so.

[D]

Yeah, I think you could make an edit. Thanks.

[B]

Well, and then. So you're not. You're not one of the. The two in this marriage. You're someone in the hometown.

[D]

Correct? Yes, I'm, of course, the sheriff.

[B]

Ah, she's the sheriff.

[D]

I'm the town sheriff. But could I be anything else?

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

No, you're not.

[D]

No, I can't. The answer is no.

[B]

No. Okay. You can't be anything. I mean, it takes up a lot of your time when you're the sheriff, I would imagine.

[D]

Yeah. There's not time for anything else. It was the perfect casting choice because.

[B]

You probably sleep eight hours a night.

[D]

Correct.

[B]

And then there's 16 left in the day.

[D]

She goes to bars a lot.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

She kind of around in the. In the cruiser, as we call it.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Ring the lights. The sirens, we say. We call them.

[C]

Ring the lights, we say.

[D]

Ring the lights, brother.

[B]

Now, as someone who is, of course, acab, I don't know how to feel about a cab. Yes.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

You playing a law enforcement officer.

[D]

Right.

[B]

But, you know, maybe this will pull the, you know, the curtain.

[D]

Well, you know, I'm not A Democrat.

[B]

Oh, no, I didn't know that. Oh, cool. Let's talk about this off air.

[D]

I'm just kidding. I was raised by two hippies. I'm a Democrat.

[B]

Were you really raised by two hippies?

[D]

I was, yeah.

[B]

Your mother and father are just two other hippies?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

We don't. There was a whole gaggle of them, but, yeah, I ended up with just two of their friends.

[B]

Where. Where did you grow up?

[D]

Vermont. And hippie.

[B]

And hippie started like Ben and Jerryville.

[D]

Yeah. But we moved to Massachusetts eventually. What do you mean?

[B]

Who raised you?

[D]

Oh, yeah, no, we tried. I got kicked out. Yeah, no, Ben and Jerry's. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Fantastic. Vermont.

[D]

Vermont.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And have you always wanted a lifetime in the arts?

[D]

Yes, actually.

[B]

Good question.

[E]

Right?

[D]

I kind of did, yeah. That's a great question. Yeah, I kind of did. I really. I liked, like, doing kind of theater in my town.

[B]

Did you do community theater?

[D]

Community theater?

[B]

Yeah. What. What shows did you do?

[D]

Oh, gosh, I. My. I really came out strong with Annie.

[B]

Oh, okay. Were you the titular Annie?

[D]

No.

[B]

Ms. Hannigan?

[D]

No.

[B]

Whoever hangs out with Daddy Warbucks and sort of does whatever he says?

[D]

No, I was Tessie.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Who's Tessie?

[D]

Nobody knows who Tessie is.

[B]

And they don't call it Tessie for nothing.

[D]

She says she's the one that goes. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. And she steps on. Ms.

[B]

Handy. She steps on.

[D]

She says it's a running thing. She says it all the time. You guys remember. Thank you. So she is. She. She'. If you got the right lens, she's a fellow orphan. Correct.

[B]

Okay. And she never gets adopted.

[D]

You know, it's been a minute, and.

[B]

We'Re presuming that all of the. The people in the movie and play Annie are dead by now. Right.

[D]

Wait, what I was thinking about all.

[B]

The characters would be dead at this point.

[C]

Right?

[D]

At this point. Oh, and Annie, because it's going back.

[B]

To the original, Everyone is probably dead.

[D]

Just about.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, they're gone.

[B]

Sandy, they're gone. Ms. Hannigan, Rooster, they're all dead. Yeah.

[D]

I like to think Tessie was adopted. Maybe she ran away for a bit. It wasn't a good.

[B]

So when we watch this thing, why do we care about what happens to them if they're all just dead anyway?

[D]

Well, that's.

[E]

That's.

[D]

I mean, why is anyone listening to this podcast? You know what I mean?

[B]

Good point. We're all still have not been able to figure that out.

[D]

Well, I'm just saying we all Will die. I like. Is that what you meant?

[B]

Oh, I don't think I will, actually.

[D]

How so?

[B]

Well, I haven't yet.

[D]

Okay. So why wouldn't you?

[B]

Because I don't want to.

[D]

Okay. Do you have some special trick?

[B]

No tricks. I'm just going to refuse. Oh, I run pretty fast. I can outrun Lady Death.

[D]

Okay. Lady Death. All right. Okay. So if. If an illness came for you at some point.

[B]

That's the problem is when. When you get really sick and you're in your hospital bed, that's when you can't run really fast.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

So that's why most people die when they're sick.

[D]

True. Most. But not you.

[B]

Nope.

[D]

Mentally, you're not there. You're.

[B]

I'm going to keep on the peloton. Keep the leg strength up.

[D]

Well, we could talk about telepathy tapes, but I won't make us.

[B]

Okay. Thank you. I appreciate it.

[D]

Sure. No problem.

[B]

I hear enough about that upstairs.

[D]

Really? Is it on a lot?

[B]

I believe so.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

It's really noodling in that brain.

[B]

Is it really?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What's next on the horizon? Obviously, Untitled Home Invasion Romance is available to rent or buy on January 27, which is Tuesday of next week.

[E]

Week.

[B]

What's next on the horizon for Anna Conle?

[D]

You're very good with dates. And I mean that honestly.

[B]

I wrote it down.

[D]

But to know it's Tuesday. You wrote that down?

[B]

Well, I. I remembered it.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

I looked it up in the calendar. I was like, oh, when's this on sale? And then I said, oh, Tuesday, January 27th. Then I wrote down January 27th, and I said, I don't need to write down Tuesday. I'll remember it's Tuesday. And I did.

[D]

Wow. That's actually really impressive to me.

[B]

And I mean, some thumbs up myself.

[D]

I mean that genuinely.

[B]

But. But what's up? Obviously you're gonna. You've. You've been refusing all offers until this comes out a la John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. And once this comes out, the flood of offers comes in.

[D]

That's the idea. Yeah. Yeah. No one's seen me as a sheriff yet. I did. I did you hope for more sheriff roles of.

[B]

Were you upset when Mila Kunis got the Sheriff? And Wake up, Dead man in theaters now.

[D]

I have yet to see that trailer, but I'm gonna look it up after this.

[B]

You're gonna look at the trailer first?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

To know for sure.

[B]

To know whether you're gonna press play on the actual.

[D]

Exactly. I did attempt to write a memoir. That's out in May.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

And that's probably a huge mistake, but that's coming out.

[B]

You attempt to write a memoir.

[D]

Well, I did write one.

[B]

Okay, you did write one. It is out in May. What's it called? Do we know?

[D]

It's called the Sane One.

[B]

The Sane One. And does that have anything to do with your relationship in your family, with everyone else in your family?

[D]

It does, yes.

[B]

How? And how. So it starts when the book.

[D]

Yeah, let's see here.

[B]

Well, it technically, like your earliest memory.

[D]

It starts in more present times, and then you go back.

[B]

Oh, media res.

[D]

Correct. I don't know why I keep saying correct, but I'm really gonna think about a long time in the car after this.

[B]

Don't listen to this back.

[D]

Yeah, I won't.

[B]

That's the pledge we ask of all of our guests.

[D]

Cross my heart.

[B]

But so. So is it a lot about your childhood and then does it follow you into your lifetime in the arts?

[D]

It's so. Yeah, it's all about Tessie and sort of like what that did to me. No, you know, I haven't talked about it in any interview yet, so I'm going to do a really bad job.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Talking about it, but, yeah, I mean, it sort of runs the gamut, as any good memoir does. That was a joke. Yeah, my parents in Pen15 wrote about a bit, but, like, their divorce happened around middle school and it's.

[B]

When you were in middle school?

[D]

When I was in middle school. No, no, they were in middle school. Yes, I was in middle school. And, like, the. The saga of trying to keep them together unsuccessfully, and then being very, very close with my dad when I was little and then an estrangement in my. In my later years as an adult and seeing if, like, kind of exploring the past of what. What happened and seeing if we can fix it before it's too late.

[B]

And, like, not to give spoilers.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

But did you fix it? Or is it still. Is the answer no, you can't fix it.

[D]

No, we actually did. I don't know. There's not a clear answer on if you should or if you can. But we. I was lucky. We didn't speak for. We probably didn't speak for a year. We didn't see each other for five years.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

So that was too long. But it was like, my absolute best that I could do to get my. Together, I'm not the sane one. Spoiler.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

Okay, so, yeah. I would presume.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That it would be you, but because you had the.

[D]

I have moments to write a book, Right? No, you'd be wrong. Yeah, that's the book.

[B]

Just a bunch of gibberish because you're insane.

[D]

Yeah, I made that joke to my editor. He did not. I don't think he appreciated that when I would start to just write nonsense. Yeah. So we'll see.

[B]

Well, that's fantastic. And who's your publisher?

[D]

Random House.

[B]

Random House. So back in with the sanity of it all. It's very random over there.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Pages out of order.

[D]

That's right. That's what. Yeah. It had to be them.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

For that reason.

[B]

That's. That's great. I. I expect to be reading the Old Gray lady, of course, My Beloved New York Times one day and see it right there in the bestsellers.

[D]

Oh, that would be really wonderful and terrifying.

[B]

Wouldn't that be amazing?

[D]

That would be cool.

[B]

Yeah, it would be cool. And you don't have to sell a lot to get in there.

[C]

No, no.

[D]

How many?

[B]

Honestly? I like 7,000.

[D]

Really?

[B]

Can you imagine if you sold 7,000 of anything else? You'd be a failure. Wow. That.

[D]

Is that true? This is true.

[B]

I think so.

[D]

Stats?

[B]

Well, it depends on the chart. I do have to say because. Because we had a comic, have a comedy Bang Bang book and we were on the chart. But it depends on the chart because maybe your chart is a little harder, but maybe not. I'm not quite sure. But I mean, honestly, what's a chart? You know, there's different charts for like, oh, this is non fiction. This is fiction. This is. I forget what chart we were in, but they have about 180 of them every week. Right. And it just depends on. Because there's a lot of competition in certain ones, you know, of course. And so. But. But I think. I think the bar is low for books because no one reads them anymore.

[D]

Love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's exactly where I need to be.

[B]

So people can preorder it now. Yes.

[D]

And it's out May 5th.

[B]

May 5th.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I don't know that you'll be back for a four timers club in between now and then. So yeah, we got to get everything out now about it. This is. This is incredible. And is it hardback, is it paperback or is it somewhere in between?

[D]

Well, I don't know the insinuations of what this means, but at the moment it is hardback.

[B]

That's good.

[D]

That's good.

[B]

You want it hard, Really?

[D]

I like it hard.

[B]

Yeah. You want it rock hard?

[D]

Yeah, I like it soft after a few months, but hard at first, you know?

[C]

What?

[B]

I mean, are you adding anything to the paperback? Should it come out in paperback? A few.

[D]

I didn't even know that was a.

[B]

Year down the line. Yeah, a lot of people had you add, like, a nut, like, oh. To entice people who may.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Before, like, you add another chapter where it's like, oh. Since then, my dad read the book and said, oh, holy. I had no idea that I was such an. And so he wrote to me, you know, whatever might happen.

[D]

Interesting. My mom sues me. Something like that.

[B]

You, of course, read about the lawsuits. The most talked about lawsuit since the Jason Baldoni.

[D]

Of course. Of course, my mom. Yeah.

[B]

Well, this is great. I can't wait to read this.

[D]

Cool.

[B]

Hopefully it'll be in that Dropbox for the Untitled.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's still Invasion Romance, still doing.

[D]

Some final edits, so.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You just give. Yeah. Anything you want.

[B]

I'll do my pass.

[C]

Perfect.

[D]

Perfect.

[B]

I'll do a pungent.

[D]

If you have any questions about my dad, like, I'll, you know, I'm on my phone. Okay. Absolutely.

[B]

I appreciate that. Well, Untitled Home Invasion Romance is out on January 27, and people can rent it and they can buy it. This is the Jason Biggs starring film that he also directed, where Anna plays a sheriff and then her memoir is out. It's called the Sane One. And this is out May 5th. Is that right? And that I would imagine, would be a Tuesday as well. Am I correct about that?

[D]

No, it's Wednesday. I'm just kidding. I have no idea.

[B]

I think it's a two. I think all books come out on Tuesday.

[D]

Wait, if this is Tuesday, my phone's off. I was trying not to be.

[B]

May 5th is a Tuesday.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I also say you're probably not gonna come back for it because May 4th is our. Our anniversary show, so.

[D]

On May 4th. Yeah. Yeah, not a problem.

[B]

No problem. All right, we'll see you then. I'm making a verbal commitment to you.

[D]

Me as well.

[B]

Any pen 15s in the. In coming up ever again. Pen 16, pen 17, pen 18, pen 19.

[D]

Well, it's just 15. You know what I mean? Because it's an. Is like penis.

[B]

What?

[D]

Pen. Do you ever understand the title? Well, most people don't, so that's fair.

[B]

If the answer is I do. Remember the first time you were on the show?

[D]

Did I explain it then?

[B]

No, I. I thought I just said they both have a new show called Penis. Please welcome. You get it?

[D]

That's perfect.

[B]

Then you told me it was pen 15. And ever since then, I've been like, oh, it's because of the ages.

[D]

Oh, that's so lame of me that I corrected you then and now. You know what I mean? Just take me out. That would be very valid.

[B]

Ferdinand said it and the world listened. Take me out.

[D]

Take me out.

[B]

Here they are, ladies and gentlemen, Franz Ferdinand. Well, this is. This is a great year for you. This is going to be your year. 2026.

[D]

This my year.

[B]

2025 is dog shit for everybody, Right. Were you affected? Affected by the fires at all?

[D]

We evacuated, but we were lucky that, you know, that was the extent of it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we evacuated our bowels when we saw the fire.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

We were frightened and then we left. But. But 2025 was terrible. But 2026 is going to be your year.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

This is the year of Anna Conkle. I cannot wait. You're. I would imagine you're going to be probably in 39. What's that?

[D]

I'll be 39?

[B]

You'll be 39? Yeah. I think that though, at the end of the year when Time magazine comes out with that, like, oh, top 100 entertainers of the year, I mean, you've conquered movies, you've conquered books.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

You'll probably be on TV more, right?

[D]

We'll see. We'll see. And been doing indie films, but TV's probably on the way.

[B]

Okay. This is incredible. So Untitled Home Invasion Romance out next week on Tuesday, January 27 and May 5 for the same one. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we have. You like movies, right? Watching them, not just starring in them.

[D]

It's hard for me to watch. I'd rather star.

[B]

Because you're always seeing, like, different choices you would make, correct? Yeah, exact. But we do have a filmmaker coming up and we have the star of some of his movies.

[D]

I can be supportive.

[B]

Okay, great. Okay. And not just jealous the whole time.

[D]

No, no. I'll put myself to the side and maybe it'll get me a job.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I think they're making more of these films, so.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, I don't mind auditioning on. On. On this mic.

[B]

Okay, great. When we come back, very exciting. We will have James Cameron and Jake Sully from Avatar, Fire and Ash here. This is. This is big. When we come back, we're going to have more Anna Konkle and we'll have James Cameron and Jake Sully. We'll be right back with more comedy. Bang Bang after this. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Boy, I tell you, I I'm looking forward to getting rid of some stuff around the house for 2026. For instance, the crib that we've been using, we're finally getting rid of that. We're phasing in a big girl bed. That's going to make me feel lighter in 2026, right? Well, a new year is a new opportunity to feel lighter and you don't have to become a new person to do it. Signing up for therapy with BetterHelp can shine a light on what's been weighing you down and illuminate possibilities for the year ahead. BetterHelp handles the initial therapist matching work for you. All you have to do is just take a short questionnaire. This questionnaire is super short and you share your needs and your preferences. And thanks to BetterHelp's industry leading match fulfillment rate, they usually get your match right the very first time. And you know what? If your match isn't the right fit, switching to a different therapist is super easy. Let BetterHelp provide you an unbiased perspective on your life so you can head into the new year taking only what truly serves you. You can't step into a lighter version of yourself without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Therapy can help you clear space, sign up and get 10% off. Betterhelp.com Bang Bang that is betterhelp.com Bang Bang Happy New Year. That's right, a new year is just about to be here. We have colder days. Well, this is the moment that your winter wardrobe really has to deliver, right? So if you're craving a winter reset, start with pieces truly made to last season after season. And Quince brings together premium materials, thoughtful design and enduring quality so you can stay warm, look sharp and feel your best all season long. Their outerwear is especially impressive. Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I got a bunch of stuff from Quince right now. I have a really good jacket that I've been trotting out during the holiday season. I love the outerwear. Everything is so good and so comfy and looks good. Every time I wear something my wife says, who's that from? And I say, quince, my dear lady. And then I bow and she curtsies. It's a whole thing that we have. Anyway, refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com Bang Bang for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com Bang Bang. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Bang Bang.

[A]

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Savings with three plus lines include third.

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Qualifying credit required.

[B]

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. We have Anna Conkle here of Untitled home invasion romance. January 27th is the day where you can finally rent and. Or buy this. Would you suggest people rent it and then buy it or do you think they could just with full confidence buy it before checking it out on a rental? What do you think? Because it'll cost more if they rent it and then if they buy it after that, you know what I'm saying? Because I don't think they. They take off the difference of, oh, you rented it for five. No, $5. Okay. Or $10. It's probably more like 10. Okay. Well, the discount that when you buy it, they don't do that. So you would just say buy it.

[D]

You got to buy it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are, are you a profit participant in this film?

[D]

I don't think so.

[B]

Do you have any sort of, any residuals on this at all?

[D]

I. I'd have to check.

[B]

Can you get that information and get back to me?

[D]

Absolutely.

[B]

Before the show is over.

[D]

You don't mind if I turn my phone on?

[B]

Oh, yeah, please. Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna just text my managers.

[B]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. What are all those alerts?

[D]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

Who's trying to get a hold of you?

[D]

My lawyer.

[B]

Your lawyer again?

[D]

My mom.

[B]

Oh, O.

[D]

Because of the suit, I can't talk about it.

[B]

Okay, got it. Okay.

[D]

Sorry.

[B]

Go ahead. Feel free to get back to those during the show because we have a couple of dynamite guests here. They are. One is the filmmaker who wrote and directed the film and the other is the star of it. Please welcome back to the show. I believe they're in the Three Timers club as well. James Cameron and Jake Sully.

[C]

Hello, Scott.

[A]

Thank you for having us back on.

[C]

Hello, Scott. Thank you for welcoming us into the Three Timers.

[A]

I do have to, I do have to correct you right off the bat. I did direct the movie and I wrote it But I'd be remiss if I didn't credit the team that wrote Avatar, Fire and Ash. I couldn't have done it myself. Screenplay by me, Rick Jaffa, and Amanda Silver. Of course, the story also had contributions from Josh Friedman and Shane Salerno.

[B]

That's a big group to do something. It's a big movie.

[A]

It's a big, big movie.

[B]

Sc was it just like, everyone got tired because it's so long, and they just fell asleep. And then someone was like, oh, let me take it over.

[A]

Sometimes, yeah, we'd ride in shifts because the movie's long. And when you're riding a long movie, sometimes you gotta. You gotta take a nap.

[C]

Scott's. Scott's attempting some of his classic burns.

[A]

But doing some of your burns on us. I get it.

[C]

We survive Fire and Ash. We can take your burn. Scott, I'd be remiss if I didn't correct you.

[B]

I would hate for either of you to be remiss. Thank you for.

[A]

I'd be remiss.

[C]

I would actually be. I'd be furious at myself for being remiss. You said that I was the star of the picture, but actually, I. I think there are no small parts, only small navi. And everyone's a star. It's an ensemble cast. And I. In fact, I think of every crew member on that set, and I think that almost all of them are as much the star of the picture as I am. Even though I was top the call sheet.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I just want to address the elephant in the room right out of the way, which is.

[B]

Or the navi in the room. Because there are no element elephants.

[A]

There are elements. There are Unobtainium. Unobtain. Octanium is one of the elements.

[C]

Famously in Famously, there aren't elephants, but there are thanators. Dire horses, banshees.

[A]

And to address. If those were in the room, we'd address them.

[C]

We'd address them. We'd address them right off the bat.

[B]

But now you're on Earth, so you want to address.

[A]

It's a bittersweet day for us coming because obviously we're honored to be inducted into the Three Timers Club.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Been a dream.

[B]

I'm just guessing about the Three Timers Club.

[C]

It's. No, that's a fact.

[A]

Well, you made these robes. I love them.

[C]

I love the robes. We love the robes.

[B]

But they have a little. Some stitching on there that says. I'm just guessing.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, look, usually we come on here and it's a victory lap. We're so Excited to make big announcements.

[A]

Usually I come on here, I feel like the king of the world again.

[C]

Usually we are the kings of the world. And you do. We do our bit where you make fun of us and act like you don't love the movies.

[B]

By the way, Anna Conle over here. Actor.

[A]

Hey, big fan.

[C]

Huge fan. Congratulations on your tremendous year. It must.

[A]

Congratulations.

[C]

It must feel great.

[A]

The year of Conle.

[C]

We've been there before.

[B]

If you need a Dropbox link to the drop, she's passing him out like just candy.

[A]

Link to the drop.

[C]

We actually, we didn't want to speak yet off Mike because it wasn't our segment. We hadn't been introduced yet. But we looked at each other and we said, oh, Scott should have said she's conquering the industry. Because he said conquering. And we looked at each other.

[A]

We mouth, we mouth the word.

[C]

This is true. We said conquer. He should have said conquer. Here's another thing.

[B]

I'm kind of glad you didn't just jump in at that point. I. I think it.

[A]

Oh, well, if we can make you kind of glad that this just warms the conkles of my heart.

[C]

Yeah, that's a good joke.

[B]

To be honest, it's made me feel more than any of the movies that I've seen.

[C]

Scott. Scott. I understand, Scott. That's usually the banter.

[A]

Normally we put up with it.

[C]

We can put up with it. You're hitting us at our lowest.

[B]

Are you a fan of these, Anna? Are you these, these Avatar movies?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

I loved the first one.

[A]

Well, everyone loved the first one. That's easy to say. I'm just so sad we aren't here for your Thanksgiving episode. Having released such a turkey.

[C]

It's a shame that we come in here with such shame, holding our mistake.

[A]

For releasing Avatar Fire and Ash in the middle of flop timber.

[B]

You admit that Avatar Fire and Ash was not a success, Scott.

[C]

It's a fact. It's a fact. And if you're gonna drag this out of us, yes, we do have to come here hat in hands and admit. We humbly and shamefully admit here today that in less than one month, Avatar Fire Nash has only made $1.5 billion.

[A]

It's embarrassing.

[C]

It's obviously, it's terrifying.

[B]

Is that how much money it's made? Really?

[C]

We have to admit that the industry.

[A]

People don't want to go to the movies.

[C]

That's the only explanation. The movies are dead. And we tried our hottest.

[A]

Avatar 1 is the first ranked movie of all time.

[C]

The highest highest grossing film of all.

[A]

Time if you don't adjust for inflation.

[C]

And then, of course, well, we're currently.

[A]

Only the number 29th.

[C]

We're 20 all the way down.

[A]

All time. We're just barely, Barely crossing.

[B]

Only been out a month, though.

[C]

At this point, it's not looking good. At this rate, we're only going to end up at 2, Bill, even.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Last time we came in here, we were full of bluster.

[C]

We were telling you how many sequels.

[B]

We were going to be.

[A]

We announced we were going to make Infinite Avatars.

[B]

You did. You announced so many sequels. But now I think there Wasn't there an interview you gave recently, James, where.

[A]

I apologize. Yes, I did talk to someone before I came here.

[C]

We were trying to save it to make an exclusive for you, but your.

[B]

Show'S been out a month. I only imagine you would have talked.

[A]

Oh, I love that you called it a show.

[C]

That's so very old.

[D]

Hollywood for a season.

[A]

A talkie.

[B]

A season.

[A]

The latest season of season one.

[C]

Scott, you're right. He did make an interview. He gave an interview.

[A]

I made an interview. I gave an interview. He gifted me. I made it and I gave it. And I announced that maybe we won't be able to make even Avatar 4 and 5. I've already filmed most of Avatar 4.

[C]

People don't want it.

[A]

And we. We probably. Now 4 and 5 are just going to be a press conference and we're going to do it today. We're just going to release.

[B]

Wait, so you're releasing Avatar 4 and 5 right now just as a press conference? As a press conference.

[C]

We're not releasing them because they'll never be made. Because no one wants it.

[A]

No, it's not enough people want the movie.

[B]

So because it only made 2 billion.

[C]

It is on track to.

[A]

Only on track.

[C]

It's on track.

[B]

Seems like a lot to me. Right.

[A]

Seems like it's barely slap in the face. Might as well have made $1 as far as as I'm concerned. Yeah.

[B]

Do you mind? And I'm sorry. Oh, no, please go ahead.

[C]

I'd love to get a question from.

[B]

I mean, I was just trying for either of us to interrupt what's been happening right now. So I'm glad that you got in.

[D]

Well, I just kind of didn't want to be too presumptuous. And also, yes, I'm an actor. Yes. You know, there's some openings next year. Even though it's my year.

[C]

It's. It's definitely your year. And by the way, we had a pitch for you off Mike when you were talking earlier? Yeah.

[D]

I didn't know you could do that. That's neat.

[A]

Pitching off Mike.

[C]

We were pitching off Mike because we just. We love your talent. We would have put you in an Avatar movie if we made more of them, but demand isn't there. Have you met with Sony about a possible Anaconda sequel?

[D]

Anaconda?

[C]

Well, they. They did the Anaconda reboot, right? Anaconkle. Anaconda feels like a pretty good hook for the sequel.

[B]

Anaconkle. Anaconda. Anacle and a conda with an Amadeus theme.

[C]

You could do the song too, with the Amadeus. Yeah.

[D]

Wow. That is a really, really interesting idea.

[A]

And I hope in the business called a soft pitch.

[C]

It's a soft pitch. And Anna, it's all yours. It's a gift.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

It's a gift in return. Are you a talent you've given us?

[D]

That's my question.

[C]

People don't want us making movies anymore. You go make that. Make your two point.

[A]

Happy to help out, but you were box office poison at this point.

[C]

It'd be a thanator around your neck at this point.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I. I guess what I was wondering if you're. If you're gonna tell us what happens in 4 and 5 right now, do you mind telling me what happened in three? Because I watched five minutes the other day and I. It was all I could fucking stand. Well, you remember movies.

[A]

You remember Spider? Of course.

[B]

Which one? Spider. Little Dreadlock boy Spider?

[C]

Yeah. You remember him vividly. It sounds like you remember everything.

[B]

Well, he's very in. In this first five minutes of Avatar Fire and Ash and so.

[A]

And.

[B]

And that may be one of the reasons I turned it off.

[C]

Just because it's a spider heavy film. We thought that's what the public.

[A]

Spider. He is our hero. Spider. Monkey Boy Spider is now. You know, he's living with the navi.

[C]

Biological son of Recon Miles Quaritch.

[B]

Because it's. It's. It's been.

[A]

They call him monkey boys.

[B]

I know. Let me get my question.

[C]

I have other children.

[B]

At one point, he has a girl. Stop trying to guess what my question.

[C]

Is, my little child. I don't care.

[B]

I don't.

[C]

Look my son.

[A]

Ask away.

[C]

He's angry.

[B]

I don't even care anymore about what I was gonna ask you. Just. You guys just go say your thing.

[A]

I want to hear your question, Scott. I've never wanted to hear.

[B]

Say your thing.

[A]

All right, well, you wanted to know what happens in Avatar Fire.

[C]

You asked us and we were trying.

[B]

I don't care. Go ahead.

[A]

Spider has to wear a mask to breathe the air, and he only has two of them. One of them, the battery, is always failing.

[B]

That's right. So I misplaced the part where I was just like, I don't know.

[A]

I think someone's just like, where's my other one? I only have the one that the battery is.

[B]

And they go, go find it. Go find. They go, Drama.

[C]

Every character needs to have a fatal.

[A]

Flaw they need to have and a want they have. If they don't have a wand, then why are we watching?

[B]

Does he want a better battery or does he want to be cured? He wants to breathe.

[A]

You got to go to the core. He thinks he wants a better battery, but what he really wants is to be able to breathe the air of Pandora.

[C]

But his fatal character flaw is that he needs to piss so badly.

[A]

He has to piss so bad.

[C]

He has to piss so badly y.

[A]

To take a leak.

[B]

Is this. This is. Okay. I must have turned it off before then.

[A]

Oh, I think you barely got anywhere.

[C]

Into the story then.

[A]

And basically, I'll give you the short version.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, thank God.

[D]

Is that really in there? The P part?

[C]

It's a. It's a major plot part.

[A]

He has to go pee.

[C]

And it's unresolved because that was one of the things tackled.

[B]

Never does.

[A]

It's Chekov's piss.

[C]

It's Chov's piss.

[B]

Even in the first ep or first season. Sorry. Of 24. He. He went. He.

[A]

What a season that was. Was that a movie? Anyway, Spider learns how to breathe. And now the pink faces, the pink skins, the sky people, they all are interested because if a human can learn how to breathe, if they can study Spider, then maybe they can live on Pandora and breathe the air.

[C]

And yet we've met, yet to even.

[A]

Mention Varang, the elephant in the room.

[C]

Leader of the ashtray now, of course, you remember Recon Miles Quaritch was reincarnated into an avatar body through project. Anymore biological father.

[B]

Listen to this. Anymore.

[A]

I don't want to know about any of this. That's not even. This was an answer to your first question. Turned it on.

[B]

I just. Could you just tell me what happens at the end?

[C]

Scott, you asked us to explain the movie quickly. The film is 3 hours and 40 minutes long, and we were on track to explain the new one in only an hour.

[B]

Okay, okay, well, here's. We don't have that kind of time. You said quickly.

[A]

We. Did you watch the whole movie, Scott?

[B]

No, I as established.

[A]

You like you walked Out.

[B]

Very. No, I was playing it here in my. In this very room. How I. I have screeners of things.

[A]

Oh. For your consideration.

[B]

And I considered it and gave it up.

[A]

Well, you're no different than everyone else at this point. No one, no one cares when we.

[C]

When we briefly resurface from the ocean and walk the street for a block or two together. The looks people give us. It's like we were on the Epstein list.

[B]

Wow. The shame.

[C]

It is like that is shot at us right when. You know what I'm gonna say it. It's even worse than if we were on the Epstein list.

[A]

This. What we have done in people's eyes. Hate it. You hate it.

[B]

You won't even.

[A]

You won't even finish watching it. You don't even let us. I tell you what happened.

[B]

I don't even think, like, if I watch five minutes. Like, you can't even say finish watching it. Like, it would just be watching it. At that point.

[A]

Spider meets all the navi who have died. All the. The ghosts he connects to Home Tree.

[C]

Because he has his own.

[B]

I don't care.

[A]

We can talk.

[C]

No, he was turned into a hybrid via a wood Sprite. God, Scott.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Please, I. I beg of you. You know, sometimes you plan yes and no. Anna wants no.

[D]

Well, I was just gonna say I did get an answer from my lawyer on, like, the residuals thing.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

If you're interested.

[B]

I mean, I'm very interested. Do you mind pausing?

[D]

It's not 2 billion, like, what you guys are, you know, getting.

[C]

Well, that was the gross. That wasn't our back end.

[D]

But you get paid, like, around. What?

[C]

On the first movie, I think we each got paid 1 billion.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

On the second movie, those were the days we took a haircut.

[D]

A haircut?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

950.

[D]

950.

[C]

This one, I, I.

[A]

Basically a rounding error.

[D]

Got it.

[C]

This one, I think we're only going to take home 500 each, which is. I mean, at this point, we're basically losing money. We're paying work.

[B]

Right. So what do you get?

[D]

Anna, you're entitled to SAG residuals on that deal. And things like DVD digital purchases and rentals are usually included in the calculation of residuals.

[B]

Okay, so this is pretty good. This is better than being on something that goes to Netflix or something parentheses.

[D]

It's quite complicated and incorporates many different factors.

[C]

God, this is making me nostalgic. James. Remember when we were this bright eyed, optimistic, bushy tailed? Yeah.

[D]

And they all said, I love comedy. Bang bang.

[B]

Oh, very nice. Well, Shout out to whoever that is.

[A]

Can I just say, because I don't know. I don't know if Jake and I have ever said this on the record. We love comedy.

[C]

We love comedy.

[B]

I had no idea when we were.

[A]

On the set filming Avatar. Fire and Ash and. And because it's a very intense movie.

[C]

Dramatically, and sometimes you need to cut the laptop in like a night, we.

[A]

Would just fire up an episode of Comedy Bang.

[C]

Sometimes full episodes.

[A]

Episode, Full episode.

[C]

Sometimes I'd turn to James and I'd go, God, imagine what entree P. Noir would. Would do if she were here on Pandora. And we'd laugh and laugh.

[A]

I would laugh.

[C]

He wouldn't answer, but we'd laugh.

[B]

But now she'll never get the chance. We'll never get the chance. But because you no longer are making the films and you are in fact about to reveal what happened.

[C]

I mean, we're about to do it because no one has told us that they care enough about the movies to stop us from just spilling the beans here.

[A]

All right, let's hear Miles Quaritch is back.

[C]

He's back.

[B]

Back.

[C]

Who?

[E]

Who?

[A]

The villain. Avatar.

[C]

Biological Spider. Of Spider.

[A]

Spider's dad.

[C]

Okay, well, but is he really Spider's dad? Because he's actually an avatar based off a hardware backup.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Of his.

[A]

And it looks like he dies at the end of Fire and Ash, but you don't see him die. He just falls into. Into smoke and fire.

[C]

Got kind of a villain death. He falls off.

[B]

Why is it not Smoke and Fire then?

[A]

Well, that was. That was going to be number seven.

[C]

Why weren't, why weren't you in the writers room?

[B]

God, I would have loved to have done like at least a four hour shift on this.

[C]

God, the Monday morning quarterbacking we've been doing about all our mistakes.

[B]

Okay, get to your thing.

[A]

He breaks into Jake Sully's house, steals all his stuff, messes it all up.

[B]

He's got like the hut on the river or wherever they are.

[A]

Kills. Kills Jake Sully.

[C]

Yeah, he's in the river.

[B]

Kills Jake Sully.

[A]

That's right. So Jake Sully dies, but meanwhile, Spider's been hanging with the Na' Vi ghosts and he's figuring out how to bring the ghosts back to life. And of course that's, that's scary because now the pink faces, once they realize that Spider no longer can not only breathe the air on Pandora, he can bring the dead back to life. Well, that means that every pink face that's ever lived can come live on Pandora. Spider Teaches him how to breathe and comes back to life.

[C]

And that was our big twist because of course the Avatar franchise takes place in the far off future. We were setting up that in Avatar 5, Spider has the ability to bring every character in the history of movies back to life.

[A]

Right. Okay, So a real who Framed Roger Rabbit? But not just Toons. Every charact character you've ever seen in.

[C]

A movie, don't limit it to Toontown. It's old towns.

[A]

All towns.

[B]

All towns.

[A]

And the fifth movie.

[B]

So the train that comes at the. At the screen was going to be.

[C]

A major character in the fifth movie back.

[A]

Scaring the hell out of everybody. Once again, Eddie Valiant, Kramer vs. Kramer. Both Kramer is going to be back. And Kramer from that movie, Seinfeld. And The Final Avatar 5. Never say Navi again.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That was going to be the last movie in the series.

[C]

We at one point played around with Na'. Vi. Say never again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

The story group spent a year, full.

[B]

Year on title just on.

[C]

And we said, guys, don't worry. We'll make it back on opening day. Yeah. What fools we were.

[B]

And.

[A]

And you'll see every character you've ever.

[B]

Seen in a movie, everyone is this personalized to.

[A]

Telly from Kids will be back there. The virgin surgeon. Who else from movies?

[B]

I don't know. Telly from Kids from Kids.

[A]

Larry Clark.

[B]

I saw Controversial. Yes, I know what it is.

[A]

The gang from Gummo will be there. The bathtub spaghetti boy from Gummoe will be there. Bridget Jones.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

The whole team from Cool Runnings. Whoever we can't bring back, we obviously can use movie magic.

[C]

Off the top of my head, Diego Luna's character, who was a Michael Jackson impersonator, and Harmony Corinne's Mr. Lonely was going to be there. All of the spring breakers were going to be there.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Every trash. Happiness.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Child molester.

[A]

Everyone from Happiness and from Life During Wartime. The. The sort of sequel with a different cast so you'd have both versions.

[B]

So this is going to be just a feast for the fans.

[C]

It was absolutely for.

[A]

For the sinist. For the sinist among us.

[C]

I mean, Anna, you would have loved this. Your former boss, Jason Biggs was going to appear in the movie as Silverman from Saving Silverman.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

He was finally going to reprise the.

[D]

Role and he agreed.

[C]

He was going to step out of the shadows.

[A]

We were in the very early stages of. Of nailing down the legal.

[C]

It was a complicated contract, but he's aware of it. Yes, he was very But I mean.

[A]

Name another movie character that you like. Who. What's your favorite movie?

[D]

Anna Fried Green Tomatoes.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Tomatoes.

[B]

Do they finally hook up?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They hook their crews up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because they're all navi. They're coming back.

[B]

Everyone's going to be a navi.

[C]

It's going to be the characters you know and love. Love, but taller.

[A]

Taller and bluer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Speaking of Robin. Robin from Space Jam 2. I would love to see.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Sitting there watching the best.

[D]

Right.

[A]

The king of content, the villain from Space Jam 2.

[B]

He'll be back.

[C]

Algae Rhythm.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Oh, would you do documentaries? Yes.

[A]

The Hoop Dreams guys will be there. And Robert Harlan county, usa. Coal miners from that.

[B]

What about the dude from the jinx? Is he gonna be there hardcore?

[A]

He's there. And the mic is hotter than ever.

[C]

Yes. He's burping up a storm. And these are NA burps. They're louder and taller than any burp.

[A]

We got minions in there. These minions, they're blue, they're tall, but they're still up to their.

[B]

They're still saying banana, banana, banana, Banana, Banana, Banana.

[A]

And then they hook up their colors.

[B]

Wow. Well. But it'll never happen. It'll never happen.

[A]

This is the press conference. I'm not getting a lot of pushback from the reporters in the room.

[C]

The journalists, critics have told us to commit suicide when we. We have taken their note to heart.

[B]

Right.

[C]

They hate us.

[D]

Us.

[C]

They want us gone. They want us wiped off the screens forever.

[B]

I, Look, I, I don't want to go that far, but, you know, I mean, yeah, I think, I think you guys could stop at fire and ash. It's so everyone would be fine with it.

[C]

We barely sold 200 million tickets. You think about that, James?

[B]

I think about it.

[A]

I, I think about it every minute that I draw breath.

[C]

We live in hell.

[B]

Well, guys, I'm, I'm very sorry.

[A]

Are you?

[B]

No. But, you know, it seems like something a nice host would say.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. But I, I, I think, yeah, you guys are right. It's time to stop. And those two movies that you just described eventually were. They sound like dog. Right.

[A]

Well, I'll, you know, just so you know, all the whole Between Two Ferns, the movie gang was going to be in the movie.

[C]

They were all going to be there.

[D]

I was gonna ask.

[A]

They were all going to be there. The ferns were going to be there.

[B]

Ferns were going to be in there. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And we didn't even tell you who the big bad was going to be. The Thanos of our franchise who've been pulling the strings the whole time.

[B]

Who?

[C]

Young Nigel Po From Austin Power.

[B]

From Austin Power Gold. Member? The part I played.

[C]

Yeah. You were going to see the back of his head, and he was going to say, okay, it's time I take care of this myself. And he was going to turn around, turn around.

[B]

And it was going to be me.

[C]

Going to see his face for the first time ever.

[B]

So, wait, I was going to be the villain in the. I mean, maybe you guys could.

[A]

King of the pink faces.

[B]

King of the pink faces. That doesn't sound bad, honestly. Maybe you guys could make another couple.

[C]

It was gonna be a meaty role. Every character was gonna call him up.

[A]

I mean, the industry's shifting. Maybe two months from now, we'll look back and we'll be embarrassed that we took this so hard, because there could always be an upturn, an upswing.

[B]

Tell you what. Would it help if I went back on the DGA screeners app? Oh, and I completed my watch. Maybe I walk out of the room and make dinner during part of it or whatever. But, you know, would those numbers sort of. Would that help juice the numbers? And would it get. Maybe the one where I'm the villain maid?

[A]

I mean, it. The more I think about it, what you just said about maybe the dinner in the middle, maybe these aren't movies. Maybe they aren't a press conference. Maybe this is dinner theater.

[C]

Maybe this is dinner theater.

[A]

Maybe the next Avatar should all be dinner theater.

[B]

I would do dinner theater.

[A]

And would you cook the dinner? Because we don't have.

[B]

Have.

[A]

If you would also, like, serve. Cook the dinner.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, as long as it's a limited menu. I don't want to be like. Like a Jerry's deli menu.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

It's all.

[A]

It's all. It's standard stuff.

[B]

It's prefix.

[C]

It's frozen.

[B]

It's like plating.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Absolutely. And you can do a song if you want. I know you like to do a song.

[B]

I love. I would love to do a song. Yeah, I. I think that character would never naturally do a song. Young Nigel from Gold.

[A]

Member?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, this is good. Okay. I'll tell you what. I. I think if we have a verbal commitment that. And you know what?

[D]

We have a. I'm so happy for you.

[B]

I want Anna in this with me.

[A]

Are you willing to play. Are you willing to play if we.

[C]

Were reticent in passing a contract, sliding it across the table to you?

[D]

Yeah, if you want.

[C]

It's Only because we had no second choice. This project lives and dies on your. Yes. And if you're willing to play Nigel Powers. What wife? The door from Titanic. We'd be happy to have you on board.

[B]

Wait, I married the door from Titanic?

[C]

Young Nigel Powers married the door from Titanic.

[B]

Oh, wait.

[D]

What do you mean I'm a door from Titan?

[B]

You're a very door that Rose saves herself on.

[C]

But it's really.

[D]

But I'm the door and you're not.

[A]

No, but you're a door that has traveled the world.

[C]

You're a door as in a door.

[A]

The explorer.

[D]

Oh, so I'm a person that you're a door.

[C]

You're a really tall.

[B]

You know that expression, you make a better door than a window? Window. That's you.

[A]

Oh, I would never cast you as a window.

[D]

No, thank you.

[A]

Because I can't see through you.

[D]

I know. These headphones are in the way. I actually can't see you at all.

[C]

Scott. Look, I'm no director, but I feel like this segment's been running very long. If I were you.

[B]

Oh, really?

[C]

I would have gone to a break by now.

[A]

This segment is too long.

[C]

It's way too much.

[A]

And I want you to understand what it means when I say that.

[D]

Send me an edit.

[C]

I'd love.

[A]

Even as I said the words, they felt unnatural coming out of my mouth.

[B]

I know, but is too long.

[C]

James thinks it's too long. Something's really gone awry.

[B]

I. I feel you on this ended soon.

[C]

You have another guest. I don't know what you're doing.

[B]

We do have another guest. And quite honestly, it feels disrespectful at this point to still continue talking to you. So I am going to cut this off right now. Is that all right?

[A]

Right. Or maybe another hour. No, but I do think that's my old instinct kicking.

[B]

I know, I know. But I do think you. We have a verbal commitment that call. Could you wr your lawyer and say.

[D]

That we need some paperwork on this? Paperwork.

[B]

Generate some paperwork and we can.

[D]

And it's a big role. It's a big role.

[C]

Huge role.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm down. I'm tall.

[C]

You're nine feet tall.

[D]

I am tall. All right. Flat as a board.

[B]

Oh, good. So. All right, well, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we have a therapist. And we will have a little bit more of James Cameron and Jake Sully, a lot more of Anna Conkle. We're gonna come right back with more comedy Bang bang after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just beginning or ready to grow your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, premium workshops. So much stuff. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Bang Bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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[B]

Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. Anna Konkle, Untitled Home Invasion Romance. Out next week. Your lawyer did. Did they get back to you about the paperwork?

[D]

Yeah, they're just wanting a little bit more exposition, explanation, whatever you guys would write that to be.

[C]

Drama.

[D]

Drama.

[C]

That's what we always call it in the room story.

[D]

Yeah, they just. They just want to know that, you know, I'll get a credit and that it won't just say door, but we can talk about it later.

[B]

Can the door have a name?

[C]

Yeah, Door.

[B]

The Explorer. Door the Explorer. Okay.

[C]

Oh, the Explorer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I am a person in navi.

[B]

I think you're just the door that rose floats around the iceberg.

[D]

Yeah, I'm open. I'll explain it to them. I love it. I love it.

[B]

We also have, of course, James Cameron and Jake Sully. And I'm. I'm just gonna cut you off before you guys even start talking.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Because we have a. We have to get to our next guest and they are a somatic therapist, which I don't exactly know what that is. Anna, do you know what that is?

[D]

I. I think I might. I really love therapy.

[B]

I would love to hear a more about it or even a lot more about it. Please welcome for the first time on the show, Leaf Clover. Hi. Hi.

[E]

How's it going?

[B]

This is Anna and Jake over here with the really tall blue thing with its dick wrapped around this guy's dick over here.

[E]

Okay, great.

[C]

The braids, the kudos.

[B]

James Cameron.

[A]

Hello.

[E]

Hi, how are you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, nice to meet you.

[B]

So nice to meet you. So Leaf, you are a somatic therapist?

[E]

Yes, I am.

[B]

What is somatic therapy exactly?

[E]

So somatic therapy is. Is. Is therapy that focuses on the body. I'm sure you guys have all heard the body keeps the score.

[C]

James and I say that to each other all the time.

[B]

Where would I have heard that the body keeps the score?

[E]

I believe it's a book. And. And, and it's a book.

[B]

It's a book.

[D]

It is a book.

[B]

Okay. And you've read this book?

[D]

I've read parts of it. And the body remembers what the mind doesn't.

[E]

Exactly.

[D]

Wow.

[E]

Okay, so you really are taking to this. I'm going to focus in on you now.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

What are you feeling right now in your body?

[D]

I was feeling really nervous because they were fighting.

[E]

Where were you feeling nervous though?

[D]

In my pelvis.

[E]

In your pelvis.

[D]

Why are you laughing?

[E]

I just.

[B]

Does a. Does a somatic therapist usually laugh at. At their clients? Well, I guess you're not a client technically because. Are you gonna pay Leaf over here? For what? Whatever she's doing here.

[D]

Seems only fair.

[B]

If you give her a dollar right.

[E]

Now, then you'll get five more minutes.

[D]

Okay? Absolutely. Do you have in mo.

[E]

Yes, of course.

[D]

Great.

[E]

At Untitled Leaf Clover.

[D]

Oh, you're untitled too? There are things Untitled. Mine's untitled.

[C]

It's kind of in trend.

[E]

Right. It's wonderful.

[D]

It's a thing.

[B]

Untitled is having a moment.

[C]

It really is Untitled having the best week ever.

[A]

Am I right?

[C]

It's nice that we work past our issues. It can all Laugh together.

[B]

Best week ever on Pandora.

[C]

Absolutely. It's actually the only show that still airs there.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Housebox is our biggest star.

[B]

So, Leaf. Yeah. So this. This. You. You do therapy for the body?

[E]

Yes, I do. Yes, I do. And. And I think another aspect of somatic therapy that's really interesting is. Is things all originated from your birth. So actually, Scott, I'm curious for you.

[B]

Sure.

[E]

What is your birth story?

[B]

My story? Do you mean where I was born? What time of day?

[E]

It's the experience of how you were birthed. Because the first traumatic thing in our life happens when we're born. So that's what is going to define the rest of your life. So how were you born?

[B]

I think just like anyone else, I came out of a. I'm trying to think of the medical term.

[A]

Term.

[B]

Yeah. And they cut. They cut the. The cord that was providing me sustenance.

[C]

It's called a cord.

[B]

Cord. Yeah. And I was crying. Cries. And so you went back in the. Is basically. I was. What I was saying this is all just like, forgive me. This is medical.

[E]

Yeah, of course. No one.

[B]

And then I, you know, like, hung out there for a little while, as far as I know. And I. I went. Went home after that.

[D]

I bet a bunch of took care of you.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Nurse.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

There's. It's wonderful to be surrounded by. Now that's. That's a very interesting thing that you. You were born surrounded by. You probably spend your life trying to be around.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

Trying to find.

[B]

I don't mind it. You know what I'm saying?

[E]

Absolutely. Right. One thing you. You said that I find interesting is you came out crying.

[B]

Crying. I did. As far. As far as I am told, there were. There are no issues on that. But they want you to cry. Right. I mean, it's a bad sign if you're not crying.

[E]

Of course. Of course. Yeah. Babies that don't cry are often not receiving air.

[B]

Yes. Yeah, I was gonna. You know what? I wasn't gonna go there as morose as you, but. Yeah.

[E]

We're so scared to talk about birth, but birth is the beginning of everything.

[C]

I have five children.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

How are they all born?

[C]

One of them's dead.

[A]

Dead.

[C]

Two of them are adopted.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Kiri was kind of a magical birth. Her mother, Grace Augustine's avatar, was suddenly impregnated with no father. No body father.

[E]

No body father.

[C]

We eventually realized that she was carrying the seed planted by AWA herself.

[E]

And that's the tree.

[C]

Yeah. And then the other three kids were just born style.

[E]

Style Interesting. How were you born?

[C]

Style? Well, I had two births, actually. I was born on Earth. Jake Sullivan, in the future. Earth is a hole. Then I traveled over to Pandora and was reborn.

[B]

Were you in suspended animation?

[C]

Yeah. They say you don't dream in cryo sleep. It's true.

[E]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah. But I was reborn in Pandora in my avatar body, and that was my second birth. So one was style, one was via kuru. Home tree connection.

[E]

That's really interesting. Two births is really going to affect you. I mean, do you find yourself looking for safety in others? Perhaps a safety you didn't have in. In your second birth or your first birth?

[C]

Wow. I mean, I often say my family is my fortress. And that feels like a way of expressing exactly what you're asking.

[E]

A fortress.

[C]

I built a fortress of love around myself.

[E]

Isn't that interesting? A fortress also keeps things out, right?

[B]

That's a good point. Inside. And so does a moat with, like, alligators.

[C]

Scott.

[E]

That is so true. Can anyone name another thing like that?

[D]

A moat.

[E]

A fortress.

[B]

Electrified fence.

[E]

Electrified fence.

[A]

A ditch. A ditch.

[B]

That's just a moat.

[E]

No, it's without water. Right.

[A]

It's an empty moat, but it's a ditch. Do you think that World War I, they were doing moat fighting? Trench warfare.

[B]

You can't just say my thing, a trench, and then say, oh, but take the water out of it. Okay, wait, I got come up with your new thing, but I got to.

[A]

Answer my question about World War I. Do you think they were doing moat. Empty moat fighting.

[B]

Or answer my question about how you can't do what you did.

[A]

How I can't do what I did? Avatar.

[E]

I'm gonna pause you too. You're arguing.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

Where do you feel this argument? In your body. In your pelvis. Oh, and that's your dicktail.

[C]

It's a pony braid.

[D]

What?

[A]

Use a dicktail.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, okay, wonderful. Thank you for wooing. But you feel it in your pelvis. I'm gonna push you, Scott.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[E]

Where? And specifically. And how. How does it feel? Describe it. Does it feel swirly? Does it feel bizarre?

[B]

You're gonna push me.

[E]

I'm gonna push my pelvis. I'm gonna push you in your pelvis, Scott.

[B]

Okay, Usually I like to be pulled there, but go ahead. Yeah, go.

[E]

Yeah, I'm gonna push right now. And I'm pushing.

[B]

Ow. Ow. That.

[E]

Oh, wow. So there's something there that's so interesting.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I think you. I think you cracked it or something. That's cracked what? My. The pelvis Bone.

[C]

Okay, so there's definitely something.

[E]

Maybe the emotion behind it.

[B]

Okay. No, it actually feels just like you kind of broke my pelvis bone right then.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

And that's part of. Of the therapy, right? Yes, it is. It's a. This is part of it.

[D]

Discovering weakness.

[E]

Discover. Thank you. Do you have a dollar?

[D]

Yes, I'm gonna do right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing it right now.

[B]

Can you settle a timer alert on your phone so we don't have to keep asking about the dollar every 60 seconds? Yeah, please.

[D]

Or five minutes. Five minutes. Which is however many seconds. Seconds.

[C]

Leaf, do you accept payment via kiru? Because I feel like I took about five minutes of your time back there talking about my births.

[B]

Is kiro the. The currency on Pandora?

[C]

No, it's the pony braid that you often refers to as a long blue dicks.

[E]

Yeah, I do accept that. I absolutely accept that.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

Okay. He's wrapping his long blue dick around.

[C]

It's not a dick, it's a pony braid.

[B]

Good. Okay.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

I should get on this. Do you need a dollar? Yeah, I only have a million dollars. Can I give you a million dollars?

[E]

Oh, yeah, that will. That'll be fine. Thank you.

[D]

Am I covered then or do you still need the dollar?

[E]

I need it from each person separately. There's no. You can't cover other sending a little.

[A]

Extra million dollar bill. I'm sorry.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Who's on the million dollar bill, by the way? I've never seen one of those.

[A]

Mr. Bojangles.

[B]

Mr. Bojangles? Yeah. You know, you hear that song and you don't realize it's the same guys on the million dollar bill, Will. So what is it you do?

[E]

I make people think about their bodies.

[B]

Oh, okay. Some would say that. That we think about our bodies too much.

[E]

I would say we don't think about them enough. I would say that. I would say we should be body scanning every single day.

[C]

Body scan?

[B]

What are we.

[C]

That term? Is that a medical term?

[E]

It is a medical term.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

What does it mean?

[E]

It means you start at your toes and you body scan up to your head.

[B]

And what are. What are we looking for when we're doing this scan of our bodies?

[E]

Trouble issues or any sensation?

[B]

Sensit. Just any sensation.

[E]

Any sensation.

[B]

I would hope that we would have sensation over our entire bodies.

[E]

Well, I. I'm sorry, but I suppose when you were a human, you didn't have a sensation over.

[B]

That's a good point. Yeah. Some people don't have sensations really exposed.

[C]

God's Ignorance in that moment.

[E]

Yeah, let's be PC here. Not everybody has a sensation in every.

[C]

Part of the belly button down.

[B]

Look, I'm a. I'm a Bill Maher type on this podcast, okay? You can't. You can't stop me from being on PC.

[C]

Yeah, well, you're never going to win a Golden Globe that way, I'll tell you that much.

[E]

Yeah, so that. But basically that's what I do. I scan bodies. And so you scan.

[B]

So wait, you shouldn't be doing it.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

And I push on the bodies in certain places and then it brings people to realizations that you could never find.

[B]

Still is really, really hard. I think I need a doctor.

[E]

I think it's totally fine. I wouldn't get it checked out and I wouldn't talk to anyone about it.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

I think that can be between us.

[B]

Oh, sure. Okay. Yeah.

[E]

Ab. That's part of therapy, right? Oh, confidentiality.

[B]

Oh, I thought that was just for the doctor.

[E]

No, it's for everybody involved. Hipaa. Don't. Don't talk about it. Or I could sue you.

[B]

Okay, got it.

[E]

Be careful with that.

[B]

Okay. And. And this works with people. You found results?

[E]

Oh, yeah. People leave sobbing because they think that's good. They're like, yes, of course. They're like, I had tension in my shoulder for 45 years. I never noticed it. And then I push on it and suddenly, you know, they. Sure, they can't use their shoulder, but they are like, wow, that was different. And then they're sobbing. It's. It's much more impactful than talk therapy. I mean, you could talk all day in circles.

[C]

Can I feel it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

No, no, no. I know.

[D]

You're casting soon. You're casting. Go ahead.

[C]

You and then me and then James.

[D]

Well, I was just going to say.

[B]

I feel we have time for Anna Scott.

[C]

That's the order. Please don't interrupt. It's going to take much longer if you try to stop us.

[D]

I was just going to ask if. If this is acting school. I did what it was called, like, Tremoring. And you.

[B]

Oh, you were. You played a graboid.

[D]

What's a graboid?

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry, though. From the movie Tremors, the worms, franchise Tremors 4. Are they gonna be this new Avatar, by the way? Yeah.

[A]

Michael Gross was already signed up to return Reba McIntyre.

[E]

Oh, I love her so.

[B]

Sorry. You weren't playing a grab.

[D]

No, I would. I'm open.

[B]

Right.

[D]

I. I wasn't actually asked then and I didn't. I didn't tape for it.

[B]

In your tremoring class. Oh, oh, another dollar. You need another million dollar bill from you.

[E]

Thank you, thank you and thank you.

[B]

Okay, good, good. Ah, my pelvis. Ow. God, stop hitting it, please. All right, so what.

[E]

Sorry.

[B]

What happened in this trip?

[E]

This work. We're doing the work.

[D]

Well, I don't know if that's what this is, but it's tremoring. And it was an acting school, and they would have us like, lay on the ground, and then you put your feet on the floor and then you'd lift up, you know, honey, pelvis to the. To the sky until it starts to shake. And then you're doing it for an hour until you start sobbing.

[B]

Acting teachers have no idea what they're doing.

[E]

Yeah. That you were in a real thing.

[B]

I know, I know. You really did it.

[D]

Nyu. An NYU cult.

[E]

Honestly, most universities are a cult, so that's not good. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's. That's. I would never have a patient do that. I always push on the body part.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You gotta get it out.

[C]

Terrific question, and a top shelf. My question actually builds upon hers. I was curious about your training, your background, how you got into this line of work and how you got accredited or licensed.

[B]

Great.

[E]

So, yeah, me and my little brother, we spent a lot of time as kids sort of figuring out methods like.

[C]

This, like playing doctor and stuff like that.

[E]

Playing doctor is. Yeah, I mean, it's a sort of.

[B]

Thing pulling and pushing on each other's body parts.

[E]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And we just did that from a young age and we found. Oh, wow, you know, there's something really here. So. No, I never did any formal training. Although you can for somatic therapy. I did not because I knew you.

[B]

Never went to a university or. Or have any kind of.

[C]

Scott, I'm sorry. You're asking a question. And we established that James was third in the question.

[B]

All right, James.

[A]

Scott, I just wanted to say, when you do New rules, will you not cut to me for reactions?

[B]

All right, I promise I won't.

[A]

I know it's not a visual format, but just don't.

[B]

I won't cut you.

[A]

I'll be too self conscious whether I'm laughing or not laughing.

[B]

Don't worry. Don't worry.

[A]

Just. I'll be. I'll enjoy it more if it's just.

[B]

If it's.

[A]

Promise me. I'm not gonna. You won't get to.

[B]

No problem. No problem. Well, Leaf, it sounds like what you do is. Is incredibly fascinating. I don't know that I necessarily have the Money to. To come to you all the time or the body parts. Yeah, you know, because I mean, you're stronger than you look.

[E]

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, I understand. I understand. I mean, I'd love to get you in for one more session. That's all I'm saying. Just do one more session.

[B]

Just one more session. What's going to happen in one more session?

[E]

You're going to have your life changed by me pressing on your body in a certain spot.

[C]

Scott, I think you might as well make that session happen now because at least then it'll be a business write off.

[B]

Yeah, I. Let's do it now. You want to press? Yeah. Okay.

[E]

Okay. Where? Where, how do you feel right now?

[B]

I feel like the segment needs to wrap up.

[E]

Okay. Where do you feel that the segment needs to wrap up in your body?

[B]

In my body. Like my left wrist, where my watch usually is.

[E]

Okay, great. That makes sense. Okay, and. And how does it feel? Does it feel. Does it feel swirly?

[B]

Swirly is definitely a word that I would have used.

[E]

Okay, great. I'm going to push on it now.

[B]

Ow. You broke my wrist.

[E]

I would like to keep this between us.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

We should. Okay. Thank you.

[D]

Right.

[C]

So very powerful to witness.

[E]

He's fine. Look, he's so moved. He's crying. And.

[B]

My neck, my back, my. And my crag. That's a reference.

[C]

Yeah, no, I got it. I laughed.

[B]

Do you have that on Pandora?

[C]

We just.

[A]

We have all the songs on Pandora.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[A]

But you can't pick when they play. This is the stuff we would have gotten to if we knew got explained that you can't Very, very tired to.

[C]

Natural music ecosystem would have been very good stuff.

[B]

Well guys, we are running out of time. Unfortunately we only have time for one final feature on the show and that is of course a little something called plugs.

[A]

Thought this was a show about comedy. Thought it was all about love. In show business they call this synergy. It's just a show about plugs. A show about plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs. A show about plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs.

[B]

Oh, Plugs, why can't you treat me right?

[A]

You got that one person show. Oh, was that tonight? That was tonight. Tonight. Oof. Oh, plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs. A show about plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs. A show about drugs, drugs, drugs, drugs. A show about plugs, plugs, plugs, plugs. A show about applause.

[B]

All right, that was Synergy by Pleasant Hill Cemetery. Got a round of applause. I of Course will not give it a round of applause because it was 10 seconds over our minute. Cut off time. I guess we need to reiterate again. Let's keep it to a minute. And when I say a minute, I don't mean 59 seconds, I mean 30. But thank you Pleasant Hill Cemetery for that. What are we plugging, Anna? Obviously, we have Untitled Home Invasion Romance coming out on January 27th, and then on May 5th, we have the sane one.

[D]

Sane one. That's about it. I did some. A little bit of hacks that I'm excited about.

[B]

Oh, really? You're in hacks season? The next season.

[D]

The next season.

[B]

Oh, can you say who you play or who.

[D]

I don't know that I heard that. They're pretty young. How did you know?

[B]

Do they do a whole just prequel? Like, what was that?

[D]

Surprise.

[A]

The Many Saints of Newark.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Which I believe.

[A]

Which I believe is getting a theatrical release. It may have already happened. There's a. A theatrical.

[B]

Are they going to be in the Avatar 5 as well?

[A]

Yeah, including. Including the ghost of Christopher who narrates the film.

[C]

It's only going to be the many Saints of Newark characters. We couldn't access the Sopranos ones.

[B]

Oh, that's too bad.

[C]

Yeah. So it'll be like John Magaro.

[A]

I would have included one. One scene of. Of Livia when her head was mismatched.

[C]

With the body after death.

[B]

Right.

[C]

I love.

[B]

I love that one. Hey, get out of here. James and Jake. What do you guys want to plug?

[A]

I mean, it seems pointless at this point, but we might as well. Avatar Fire and Ash, I guess I.

[C]

Would say, you know, just to do a service for our listeners. If you're on the run from local law enforcement, they probably won't find you in an Avatar Fire and Ash screening.

[A]

Eventually when it goes to digital. Digital, please rent it and then buy it because maybe that'll bump our numbers a little bit the purchase digitally. So we get. That's two bites at the apple.

[C]

I'll also say one of the few brave outlets to defend our film was a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David. They endorsed it heartily. They have great taste.

[B]

They like this. These Avatar movies.

[C]

They like it quite a bit because they're big, strong, smart boys with good opinions.

[B]

And. And are you sure it's not. They just are forced to watch it in order to know more about it For a comedy thing?

[C]

Absolutely not. I think this is a case of the.

[A]

I'm not even sure they do comedy bits on that.

[C]

I believe it's A no bits.

[B]

It's a new bit. That's right.

[C]

It's just true. Honest, perfect opinions constantly.

[A]

I'll also plug. I'll also plug a YouTube channel that I stumbled across. Connor Ratliff presents the Acting Class.

[C]

What a show that is. I learned a lot from him when.

[A]

I ran out of comedy Bang Bang episodes. Sometimes we'd fire that up in between takes on Avatar. Help me reset a comic book that's coming out just in time for Valentine's Day. There's no one more romantic than me, James Cameron. And I've already picked out what I'm doing going to get for my lady love. And that's the DuckTales Valentine's special comic book.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Coming out in February. Written by the same gentleman who does that YouTube channel.

[C]

Connor Rattler, the Stitch comic. He's a blue alien.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll also say I occasionally make appearances on a thing called the George Lucas talk show. It is a very erratically scheduled live comedy show, but the. The history across 11 years are all up on YouTube.

[A]

George is a good egg.

[C]

He's a good egg. We like George.

[B]

We love George. So even your plugs are long.

[A]

I mean, nothing was as long as that plug song that you played. My God, it's the longest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[C]

I know a few places.

[D]

I thought that that was you singing.

[C]

It did. It did sound.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[C]

It sounded a lot like James Cameron.

[B]

You thought James Cameron. James Cameron emailed a plugs.

[D]

That's why I was like, yeah, it.

[C]

Sounded a lot like James Cameron. It sounded a little bit like Hana Robin Ratliff of the acting class. It sounded a fair amount like George.

[A]

Well, I'll say this, I'll say. I will admit nothing. I will admit nothing. But there's a possibility that I might have blind submitted a song that I should. That was originally about Kulus. That plug into each other.

[B]

Oh, that was originally about.

[A]

Oh, well, because they plug, plug, plug, plug.

[C]

That's a good call. And actually, in fact, I have one more thing I want to plug. Leaf, would you mind just passing this over to Scott quickly?

[E]

Okay.

[B]

What is this here?

[C]

That is my kiru and you are connected.

[B]

Oh, oh, oh.

[A]

Plug it right into your broken wrist.

[E]

You should ask someone before you do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Consent is important.

[C]

I'm pretty sure actually you're the one who plugged it into him, so that's on you.

[B]

Oh, no technicality. All right, Leif, what do you want to plug?

[E]

I want to plug Anna and Isabella do improv Little Podcasts where people do improv. And I want to plug the Crazy story show on YouTube.

[B]

It's on the Crazy Story show.

[E]

It's the Crazy Story show. It's very hard to Google because Crazy Story is a super common thing on the Internet. We realized that. Or they. They, they realized that. I, you know, I completed them, but.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, they're your clients.

[E]

They're my clients. Ex.

[C]

The collective. We. Yeah.

[E]

And, and, and you know what? It's a fun YouTube show. And you know, the future is YouTube. That's where all the money is.

[B]

Have you guys notice that? Subscribe Video podcast on Netflix.

[A]

I would say both of these YouTube channels have been brought up. The key is to subscribe. Subscribe. It costs you nothing.

[C]

Everyone keeps telling me to smash that like button.

[E]

Smash that like button.

[B]

Yeah. Which I did the first time and now my like button button doesn't work.

[E]

Yep. Well, you were probably trying to relieve it of trauma.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And I understand that. Hey, guess what? I have even another thing to plug.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

I know. It makes me feel very busy and good to plug that for someone else. Play by Play. Will Hinds.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Will Hines has a show Play by Play. And they're going on tour and I'm going to be on tour with them.

[B]

You don't say. When are they. When is this tour?

[E]

Let me see. See, it's the fifth and sixth in Pittsburgh.

[B]

Of what month of February?

[E]

Love of February. February 5th, February 6th in Pittsburgh, February 7th in Baltimore and 9th in New York.

[D]

Can I plug one more thing? But it's not until March.

[B]

Sure, yeah. Please.

[D]

Yeah, you can cut this later.

[B]

No, we'll, we'll. All plugs are welcome. We're in the middle of the plug.

[E]

I did a 20 minute plug.

[D]

Well, I would love to do a 20 minute.

[B]

Still nothing is as long as that song we heard before.

[D]

Right. And you were so great. If that was.

[A]

Thank you. If it was me. Thank you.

[D]

It's called the Sun Never Sets. And by sin, I mean sun. Yes, the sun never Sets.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It'll be at south by Southwest. It's a new Joe Swanberg film.

[B]

Okay. And you are in it. Oh, that's fantastic. Okay.

[D]

Are you in Dakota Fanning? I don't have the honor to be a cop in that one, but I'm not a Democrat.

[B]

That. Okay, good, good. And that'll be at south by Southwest, middle of March, when that is.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

I want to plug. Look, I'll keep mine short. Go to CBB World. You can hear every single episode of this show ad free. New episodes ad free, every live episode we've ever done. Plus we have other shows like CBB Presents where people.

[C]

This is taking forever.

[B]

Where people from this show have their own shows. We have Scott hasn't seen where lunatics come and want to talk to me about Night at the Roxbury for two and a half hours hours.

[C]

Sounds like a good podcast.

[A]

That sounds like an abuse of the format, to be honest, for someone. For someone to come onto that show and hijack it that way.

[B]

But. But could you believe that someone else came on and talked to me for even longer about something else?

[A]

I don't believe that, no.

[C]

It also sounds good to me. Even without you getting into the specifics, it sounds like a good episode.

[B]

So go head over to cbb world.com and you can get all that stuff. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[A]

You gotta open it it up.

[B]

You got to open it up. Open the bag and everybody sings. You're doing the NBA and NBC thing.

[A]

All right, we'll see you next week.

[B]

I shake. Do the whole thing over again.

[D]

This.

[C]

All right.

[B]

That was our second remix of the year. That was fantastic. That was the Orangist Ball remix by Ryan Beverly. If you want to do a remix, everything you need is over@cbb world.com/plugs where all the stems are there. And we love your remixes. Boy, this is going to be a good year for remixes. And speaking of good years, Anna Conkle, this is your year. You got three things coming out. And we'll see you at the end of the year on the TIME 100 Entertainers list.

[D]

And see you on your anniversary. 1.

[B]

Thank you. Yes, of course.

[E]

And I'll see you next week.

[B]

See you next week. Yes. Thank you. To Leaf Clover for therapy and hey, James Cameron and Jake Sully, you'll be.

[A]

Seeing Avatar in the In Memoriam segment of next year's Oscars.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely. You'll see us also take a walk of shame outside of your home.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Game of Thrones style.

[C]

We'll be expecting to be pelted with vegetables as we walk down the streets of Los Angeles.

[B]

Well, guys, I regret this is going to be the last time we ever speak to you because there will be no more Avatar films. But, oh, it's a shame. I guess you'll stay in the Three Timers Club.

[A]

No, we might come back with a True Lies.

[B]

Two.

[A]

Two Lies.

[C]

Two lies.

[B]

Two lies. And Jake's gonna be in this as well.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, why not? Tom Arnold.

[C]

Yeah, JLC and Arnold Schwarzenegger. And Anna Conle.

[B]

Wow. Okay, you heard it here first, folks. Incredible. All right. And we'll see you next time on episode 950. We'll see you next week. Thanks.

[A]

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[B]

Choose to lean into it.

[E]

Every Mazda is engineered to give you effortless command control.

[B]

I Wake up.

[A]

Hi, I'm Lewis How, New York Times bestselling author and host of the School of Greatness podcast. And if you haven't checked out the School of Greatness yet, you are missing out because each week we bring you an inspiring person and message to help you on your journey towards inner greatness. You're going to hear from the world's top experts around relationships, health, mindset, money, and more. If you're ready to join me, you can find the School of greatness on SiriusXM, Pandora, or wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure to hit the Follow button so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for your support.