Be Our Geft (Gareth Reynolds, Carl Tart, Hannah Pilkes)

Summary

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Comedy Bang Bang: "Be Our Geft"

Release Date: September 22, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Gareth Reynolds, Carl Tart (as Chief), Hannah Pilkes (as Girl Who Had the Craziest Night)
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Episode Overview

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang features Host Scott Aukerman in conversation with Gareth Reynolds—comedian, podcaster, and co-host of The Dollop—with subsequent character appearances from “Chief” (law enforcement officer hunting Carmen Sandiego) and “Girl Who Had the Craziest Night.” The show’s trademark character-filled, riff-heavy style is on full display, featuring rapid-fire banter, absurdist tangents, meta-commentary on podcasting itself, recurring bits about Balkan breakfasts, and a surprise “appearance” by Jimmy Buffet(t). As always, genuine and surreal moments collide in equal measure.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Gareth Reynolds’ Podcast Career & Banter with Scott

• Podcast Lineup: Gareth details his three concurrent podcasts: The Dollop, We're Here to Help, and the newer Next We Have ([04:05–19:12]).
• Evolution of The Dollop: They riff on the premise—Dave Anthony tells Gareth quirky histories, Gareth reacts (“Wait, what?”) and sometimes does accents—acknowledging how “acceptable” accents have changed over 700 episodes ([06:04]):
  • Gareth: “My role is very much to go, that didn’t happen.” ([07:03])
• Banter About Retention: Gareth admits most Dollop stories “slip out,” but some stay burned in memory, including the tale of the “lobotomobile” ([08:17–10:21]).
• Skateboarding 'Tricks': Absurdly escalating bit about Gareth’s skateboard moves: the Ollie, 720, 180, and, off-air, “the blimp” (where he floats into the air) ([12:14–17:36])—a masterclass in surreal improv.
  • Scott (re blimp): “That sounds freaking cool.” ([15:03])
• Meta on Podcast Guests: They self-consciously joke about the overabundance of podcasters as podcast guests, the “expectations” and the “excitement” those bring. ([05:14])
  • Gareth: “Wouldn’t you rather see someone you’ve seen in this role do it on something that is very similar to how they've already done it?”* ([05:14])
• Listener Bit: Both riff about “hating their fans” in a tongue-in-cheek, performatively-hostile routine ([19:02]).

Timestamps

• On podcasting culture meta-jokes: [05:13–08:11]
• Skateboarding/blimp surrealism: [12:14–17:36]

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2. Chief – The Law Enforcement Officer From the Balkans

• Character Entry: Chief, complete with Balkan accent and weird breakfast pride, bursts in chasing Carmen Sandiego “all over the world” ([26:33]).
  • Chief: “Peppers. Salt. Just peppers and salt. That sounds disgusting. Actually, cheese. I mean, bread.”* ([27:43])
• Discussion of Balkan Breakfast: Becomes a recurring, absurd thread, with guests forced to enumerate its (increasingly bizarre) ingredients ([27:40], [28:34], [32:01], [42:41]).
• Meta Comedy on Segment Lengths: Chief and Gareth riff on podcast “A block” time limits ([33:06], [33:35]).
• Carmen Sandiego Hunt: Chief laments never catching her—accuses her of being able to “fly away” mid-capture ([31:09]).

Timestamps

• Chief's entrance and Balkan breakfast: [26:33–29:05]
• Carmen Sandiego banter: [27:03–31:09]
• Recurring breakfast bits: Throughout, especially [27:40], [28:34], [32:01], [42:41]

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3. Girl Who Had the Craziest Night

• Vague, Intensely Weird Narration: Introduced with aggressive energy, she refuses to elaborate on her “crazy night” directly, insisting the experience can only be understood through her acapella “record” ([43:25–45:02]).
• Musical Performance(s): Offers repeatedly bizarre, Sia/Corinne Bailey Rae-inspired snippets of music that devolve into rambling, warbling, and surreal lyrics referencing Jehovah’s “Wimbus,” vines, and “doing donuts” ([48:01–49:15], [56:12–57:12]).
• Night Recap: Under pressure, she describes her “crazy” night as attending a bris, eating donuts on the 405, a Lean Cuisine dinner, and being in bed by 9 pm ([52:15–54:33]), sending the hosts into confused delight:
  • Scott: “As nights go, it doesn't sound incredibly crazy...” ([59:15])
  • Girl: “No, it's crazier than you could ever believe. Who wants to buy my record? I only take Doge.” ([59:19])
• Plugging Her Show(s): Hannah Pilkes (as herself/the girl) mentions her Netflix show “Leanne” and live shows ([88:07]).

Timestamps

• First musical snippet: [48:01–49:15]
• “Crazy night” details: [52:15–54:33]

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4. The “Jimmy Buffett” Switcheroo

• Expectations Subverted: Instead of legendary singer Jimmy Buffett, “James Buffet,” a British caterer to the stars, shows up ([68:29]).
• Running Plate Gag: James Buffet’s entire “catering style” revolves around dramatic reveals of missing plates at celebrity buffets (for Michael Jackson, Susan Lucci, political parties, the Finnish royals, etc.), all as a build-up to... macaroni and rolls ([73:15–79:54]).
  • James Buffet (Gareth as a Brit): “Start off, no plates. And he comes in and he's curious where the plates are. … I mean, the plates is a big part of what I do.”* ([79:10–79:28])
• Callback: Chief and other characters riff on this, connecting even further to the Balkan breakfast thread, recurring allusions to meet (‘did you mention the meat?’), and the question “Have you ever catered a Balkan breakfast?” ([73:30–74:20])
• Meta-Acknowledgement: Jimmy/James is just happy to be there, despite not being the musical guest they wanted, and plugs “JimmyBuffet.com” for booking himself, as well as Gareth’s actual shows ([86:08]).

Timestamps

• Jimmy Buffett mistaken identity bit: [68:29–70:17]
• James Buffet’s plate “schtick”: [73:15–79:54]
• Plugs as multiple identities: [86:08–86:47]

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5. Plugs Segment and Wrap

• Gareth (as himself, as Jimmy Buffet) plugs both his and Jimmy’s websites, events, and podcasts ([86:08]).
• Chief plugs Carl Tart’s Flagrant Ones podcast (with commentary on “dropping the act”), and spin-offs like XOXO, Gossip Kings ([86:54]).
• Girl Who Had the Craziest Night (Hannah Pilkes) plugs her many “Soundclouds,” “Leanne” on Netflix, and live dates ([88:07]).
• Scott plugs CBB World and Scott Hasn’t Seen ([88:37]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Podcasting Life:

• Scott: “I am so used to seeing you with headphones wrapped around your ears. I don't know what it would look like if you were to act in something. So who needs it?” ([05:25])

On Absurd Skateboarding:

• Scott (prompting): “What is a blimp?”
• Gareth: “That's where I get so high up, I inflate and I float for a little while, and then I come back down.” ([14:49–15:03])

On History Podcasting:

• Scott, about The Dollop bit: “Did you ever say, 'That didn't happen,' and he goes, 'Yeah, you're right. I was just making this up.'”
• Gareth: “I don't think that has happened.” ([07:08])

Chief on Balkan Breakfast:

• Chief: “Peppers. Salt. Just peppers and salt. That sounds disgusting. Actually, cheese. I mean, bread. … The bread is so hard.” ([27:40–27:54], [42:41])

On “Fans”:

• Gareth (meta): “Do you hate your—who do you hate more, your fans or your family?”
• Scott: “Because it's a dead heat for me.” ([20:07])

On Surreal Music:

• Girl Who Had the Craziest Night: “I got throat goblin. I got goblins so deep they're tangled up in there. I got goblins at war because everything inside these at war.” ([45:28])

On the CBB Structure:

• Chief: “According to my research, that [plug] song would have been in perfect time if the A segment hadn't gone as long as it...” ([85:32])

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Segment Timestamps (Highlights)

• Gareth & Scott banter, podcast talk, dollop history recap: [03:35–11:56]
• The lobotomobile/Dollop history story: [08:17–11:02]
• Absurd skateboarding & 'blimp' trick: [12:14–17:36]
• Chief’s entrance, Balkan breakfast, Carmen Sandiego hunt: [26:33–34:06], [42:41+ recurring]
• Girl Who Had the Craziest Night intro and music: [43:25–49:15], [56:12–57:12]
• Jimmy Buffet(t) switch, “plateless caterer”: [68:29–79:54]
• Plug segment: [84:33–89:07]

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Episode Tone & Style

True to CBB’s anarchic, longform-improv roots, the tone is riff-heavy, often sarcastic, regularly breaking the fourth wall to comment on the habits—and absurdities—of podcasting itself. Gareth and Scott maintain a breezy, meta rapport, while characters like Chief and Girl push things into surreal, heightened territory. Running jokes (Balkan breakfast, missing plates, the platonic ideal of bad music, ambiguous segment timing) act as anchors through the chaos.

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For Listeners New and Old

This episode encapsulates Comedy Bang Bang’s signature blend of sharp banter, meta-podcasting humor, character comedy, and the delightfully unpredictable. Every guest—real or invented—gets sent up, and recurring themes give improvisers plenty to riff on. If you like your comedy unhinged, self-aware, and populated by some of podcasting’s best character actors, this episode is a high-energy showcase.

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QUICK REFERENCE: MAJOR BITS & CALLBACKS

• Continually escalating “Balkan breakfast” details
• Gareth’s “blimp” skateboard trick
• The Lobomobile/history-as-performance
• “Plateless” celebrity catering
• Chief’s Carmen Sandiego obsession
• Girl Who Had the Craziest Night’s fragmentary narrative and stilted music
• “Fans and family” meta-bit
• Multiple reminders to “hang out socially” (that will probably never occur)
• Absurd plug connections and confusion in the final segment

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Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

They're all an act of concern.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll figure out the math.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Once I introduce him. The podcasts in question are the dollop. We're here to help. And he has a new podcast which we'll be talking about. I have guested on this thing. We'll talk a little bit about my experience. This podcast is called Next we have. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Gareth Reynolds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hi, Gareth Reynolds. Thank you very much. Yes, exactly. To stay on the theme. Thank you, Scott. Yeah, you were great. We had a lot of fun when you were on and you got a lot of great prizes, which is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did. Yes. And we'll talk about that in a second. But as great a guest as I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Was, I hope you will also be.

[Scott Aukerman]

A great guest on this show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I won't be as good of a guest as you were, but I will try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's all I want is your best. 110%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Absolutely. As much as one could give.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Not even 100. I don't want 100%.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's 10% less than what is possible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. I want 110 right now.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you're doing great so far.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This first part felt pretty good, and I'm excited for this next moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have a wonderful chemistry.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. There's great banter so far and I think we should keep it going.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's talk about your past and then we'll talk about your presence.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you started in this podcast game. And look on Comedy Bang Bang. We love having podcasters. Fellow podcasters on this show. Oh, my God, the fans are so excited. No, they open up the podcast app and they say a fellow podcaster is in a block.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very exciting time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You get some big names in the entertainment industry and that's cool, but wouldn't you rather see someone you've seen in this role do it on something that is very similar to how they've already done it?

[Scott Aukerman]

It. I am so used to seeing you with headphones wrapped around your ears. I don't know what it would look like if you were to actually act in something. So who needs it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why transfer your talents to the big or small screen?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I left the Hollywood game a while ago. I won't do that unless offered, then I will jump at the chance. But as far as, you know, really being invited to anything that doesn't happen. So it's headphones for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Headphones for you. And you started out. How many years ago did the dollop start out?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Well, we just did our 700th episode, which isn't an answer.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not an answer to your question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems like you're being evasive, and I can't quite pinpoint why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I'm giving it 110%, and I want to point that out. I. About 11 years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

11 years ago. Now, this is a show by your own admission. We talked about it on a previous episode of my other show Scott hasn't seen, where a gentleman by the name of Dave Anthony, lunatic person I've known for a long time.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tells you about things in history.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you say, what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you're having fun. And I do a lot of times go, wait, what? And then I'll do an accent. So I want to say, okay, there's a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Accent is one of the ones you still could do, or one of the ones you're not supposed to do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's become very limited because my skill set was in areas where I can't do it anymore. And again, I've apologized for that. This was 700 episodes ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your notes app is filled with apologies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

God. And I mean them all. I'm very sorry. But, yeah, no, my role is very much to go, that didn't happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

And really does. Did. Do you ever say, that didn't happen? And he goes, yeah, you're right. I was just making this up.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think that has happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then why say it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't. Well, it's just one of the. It's like I'm. You know those keychains that used to have, like, catch for. You'd hit a keychain and it would be like. It make a sound effect. That's me on a podcast. I just have my few things to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I'd like to hear you try it with me sometime. You know, if I. Yeah, yeah. So you doing the dollop for 11 years.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what? Seriously? Yeah. Okay, try. Good. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's. You're great at it. One of the best at this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, really?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know how in comedy there's. There's straight man and. And I guess, is there a. Is there a name for the opposite of straight man? Funny guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I used to do the accent, and I Won't anymore for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, but is. Is there a term for what you do, like, in comedy? The guy who goes, huh, What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don. Lucky. The non worker. The one who sits there and just shows up.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a fun show. You must. Do you retain any of the knowledge, or does it just slip out of your brain? The. The second that the podcast ends, a.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lot of it leaves. But then there are the ones that stick with you that are, you know, like, there was the guy who started the lobotomy, and he became like, a showman.

[Scott Aukerman]

He started at me. He's a doctor operating on someone or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he. Yeah, he. It wasn't too long ago. I think it was in the 1900s at one point. But he. He, you know, he came up with the technology.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he created the lobotomy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you were just saying he started a lobotomy and I was waiting for the other half.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he started a lobotomy, and then he was a showman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's when I jump in. Wait, what? No, but he invented the lobotomy, and. And then he started to do multiple.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is one of our great scientists.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This guy's amazing, this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Basically, he figured, like, if I take out the brain, then. Yeah, if you won't think anymore.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well. And I think there's somewhere if you cut the lobe, nothing happens. Which is my favorite one. The one who's like, oh, no, Balls.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cut the lobe.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what? No. And he. But then he started, like, making it a show. So he would, like, come down to town, and he would get five people up on stage, and he would kind of ice pick multiple lobes. And then he started driving around in a car called the lobotomobile.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, and these were people where he found out if you cut the lobe, nothing would happen. So he would.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

These, you know, people that they wanted lobotomized.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. It's a roll of the dice.

[Scott Aukerman]

But when you hear he's coming to town, like, I would go on vacation. Yeah, no, just in case anyone is like, hey, we got a volunteer over here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a little, like, Gallagher. You're just like, don't put me in the front. I don't like groundwork. No. And then so he became so. Stuff like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the lobotomobile, you're saying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he drove. He had a cape and a cane and he drove. He, like, started to feel himself a lot. He started to be like, I'm good. Like, I'm the man. And then, you know, eventually people like, you Know, like everything. They were like, wait, what have we been doing for the past 15 years? This is insane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did we like any of this? Yeah, all he's doing is, like, stabbing someone with an ice pick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you have relatives who you're like, well, they're catatonic now. And that guy, you know, he'd made his McMillion, so he was sort of off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he. Did. Was he promising, like, oh, I'll be able to fix this afterwards? And then I don't know. Then the curtain goes down for act one. He goes, I'll be back in act two to fix everyone. Then he just skips down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Car start.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love your sound effects, by the way.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, they're the best cars. I do. Well, again, it's not. Again, I don't want to say. I'm just reactive. I do a lot of sound effects. Car starting. Man driving away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. Let's hear water dripping.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Water is a drip really good in a cup.

[Scott Aukerman]

We got to get a record going. Paula Tompkins and I have been working on our sound effects record for. We're up to track 14, I think.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think it would sound a little like this Scott argument. Paula Tompkins. Sound effects are good.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not bad.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Something okay about.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. So that's stuck in your head.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And why is that? Because you. Are you afraid of being lobotomized or. It's a fear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Now that we're talking about it, it's a fear. It's on there. There's a lot of fears. But, yeah, I wouldn't like that one. Yeah, I think that one. I don't think I could give 110% if I had that low.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I wonder about? They say evolution is. Is real, right? The whole who, Charlie Darwin.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And yet we have to buy helmets when we ride skateboards. It's like, hey, let's make the skull the helmet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do think God gave us all a helmet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

But.

[Scott Aukerman]

But God didn't create skateboards. Probably the devil created skateboards. And God's like, look, I gave you a skull so that it would protect you for anything that's not moving as fast as a skateboard. And then little old Lou cipher, if you know what I mean.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, they're going, I created a skateboard for you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what? Yeah, I. I think. Well, I think that's the skateboard. If you fall, that's God's way of saying, you know, we're good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Like Icarus. You've. You've flown too close to the sun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or too fast on your board.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So it's your time and so do.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know any skateboard tricks?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know offhand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Or if I had time to do a podcast about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I kind of wish you had prepared. I'm ready to do this question, but. Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many? Four. Four.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Three. That I'll talk about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. The Ollie Classic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a big. I want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's that named after?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's named after John. Ollie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it really? Oh, really not Oliver north, who just got married. Congratulations. Oliver north getting married to Fawn Hall. Finally these two get together. But. So the Ollie. What. What else do you do?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The 720.

[Scott Aukerman]

The 720. That's a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's two. Two complete turns.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not to be mistaken, with the 180.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Which. I do that one too.

[Scott Aukerman]

So those are the three.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. Yep. So there you go. And there's.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't do a 360.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that a move? I've never heard of.

[Scott Aukerman]

That seems to be like. If you do a 180.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you do a 720.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

360 would be natural.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. I don't know. I guess if you're accidentally messing up a 720, you maybe do a 360. But that's not one of the ones that I've.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The Ollies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can we talk off air about the one that you don't want to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, as long as we. Outside we can. I. I'll have the headphones on, but let's go out. Let's do it off mic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's listeners promise not to listen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Let's go outside. All right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You got a beautiful yard out here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Isn't it nice?

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is really nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gotta come by more often.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would really love to. I didn't want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's see each other socially sometimes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you mean that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I really do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would really like to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. In a social setting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Yes. You know. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe some alcohol.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I agree. I agree.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then maybe sunscreen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So I would love. I have to. I have to wear something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's not.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a fair gentleman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, I. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tough, but fair.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I'm kidding. I know we're not recording. No, I really am. I burned pretty badly and it. It's a real problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's Your.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What's your history in my family? What's your other trick? My other trick?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, tell me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Jesus Christ, Scott. What are you doing? I thought you said we were gonna hang out socially.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we'll do that if you tell me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Skateboarding? Yeah. I didn't even know you really wanted one. I thought you just wanted to get out here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, about the.

[Scott Aukerman]

The trick.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You actually do a fourth one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right, but remember, it's not a lie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Chief]

The blimp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do a blimp.

[Scott Aukerman]

What. What is a blimp?

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's where I get so high up, I inflate and I float for a little while, and then I come back down.

[Scott Aukerman]

That sounds freaking cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, you see why I didn't want to talk about it in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

People are gonna.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It sounds cool as hell. Oh, look, look.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you. Do you. Do you want to do it? Do it right here?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, what, do you have a board?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Here it is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, wow, wow, wow. Man, I wish I could do sound effects like that. Real sound.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. And then. Oh, here's your ramp right here. Hey, who built this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, George Ramp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, he's the invader. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The inventor of the ramp.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is one of the original ones.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's kind of the 1920s.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's got a lot of, like, splinters coming out of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, watch out for those.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay, well, I'm not gonna need. If I do the blimp.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sure. Of course not.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I might be gone for a minute.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. You set up there?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been taking all this time to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Climb up to the top of the rim.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I understand. I just want to. We really should socially do something. I just want to circle back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's put it in the books. Let's pencil it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Great. Great. All right. Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or a pen. Erasable pen.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Those never fully erase. Didn't you ever find that? I always found, like, there was the ghost of the pen.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. Why did they even.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they were trying to show us that the tech was there. It wasn't there.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was the last pen invention. Or penvention.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I was going to say convention, you know, or invention pen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because that was, like, in the 80s, wasn't it?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, hey, we got this new pen thing. And then nothing. Nothing since then.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they were chastised so much. For what? They lied. I mean, it was big.

[Scott Aukerman]

They lied.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Lying, obviously, about something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone bought one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you could only buy 10. I mean, that was.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could only buy them in bulk.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. All right, you ready for this trick?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've really enjoyed this chat outside, but, yeah, here I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Ready?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Do you want me to do that, too?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that'd be great. I'm so mad at my dad. All right, here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

One, two, three.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. He's doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wish you could see this. He's doing it. He's. He's inflated. He's floating up into the air. He's going so high. He's. Oh, no, he's going too high. He's going up towards the sun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He's good. He.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's never going to be able to breathe in the atmosphere.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Let me. Let me get my shotgun.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me get my shotgun here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gareth. Gal. I'll shoot you down.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. That was incredible.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I just think I was trying to wow you so much that I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You inflated too much.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. You shot me. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you okay?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, because it's just in a part that was full of air.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, thank God.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just went right through you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it went right through me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's so good. Here, here's a Band Aid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, thanks. Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'll tell you what, let's go back inside.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I feel bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Start doing the podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, okay. Okay. I really want to do that social thing, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hey, welcome back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Mum's the word on that one, my guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I will not be telling anyone about that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Nor should you.

[Scott Aukerman]

So now let's hear about your other shows. Of course, we are here to help.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has been going for how long now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Two years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two years. And what does this show describe?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's a call and advice show I do with a friend of mine, Jake Johnson, and we have pet people call in with small problems.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this is a massive, massive success, is it not?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't know. It seems to be doing well. Yeah. But, you know, we're not very good at solving the problems, but we sure do try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Why would anyone want advice from you?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I think that's a really fair point. I mean, there's an edge to it, which I don't love, but, yes, it's a very fair point. Why would they? And, you know, sometimes we help, sometimes we don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I've. I've heard this show is just. The listenership is through the roof. Oh, you guys are doing great. The numbers are the numbers, like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Way higher than that.

[Scott Aukerman]

So much after that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You shouldn't have even started there. It goes way. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll start at 10, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I would think you could go, wait. Yeah. Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just even more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

20, 20, 21, 22, 23.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We don't need to count it, but I think you'd be wise to start at a bigger.

[Scott Aukerman]

The numbers are huge on this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now you have a new program.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Next we have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Next we have. Now describe. Next we have. I know all about it. I was on the GD thing. Yeah, but tell our dumb listeners who don't know anything about this show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're sitting there going like, oh, I.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Have no idea what to show. Yeah. I'd like to court them a little bit. So I don't know if I want to frame them like that. I mean, I think they're sick of them. Well, I just. I wouldn't say that. I really. I. As someone who has four or five.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has the dumbest list.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe we should eat them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Scott, let's go outside real quick. I really. Yeah. Hey, look, I know you've been doing this for a while, but I wouldn't talk about your listeners like that. That seems.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. They're just. They're so on my nerves.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, but you gotta hide that. Really. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a professional podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look, I'm sick of everyone who listens to my stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

I understand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I hate my fans. I hate my fans.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you hate your. Who do you hate more, your fans or your family?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because it's a dead heat for me.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'm furious at my family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But I really hate my thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. The fans, but I'm so sick of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But the point is that you lie about how much you like them. Like, that's what I do. I always go, oh, I appreciate. So, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sort of George Washington type.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he, I believe, was a pretty bad guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He had.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I remember hearing about him once and doing a. Wait. What? I really do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think the whole wooden teeth thing. If you really investigate that now, it's even worse. Words. Not a really good thing. All right. I'm an Abe Lincoln guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

I cannot tell a lot.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Is that weird?

[Scott Aukerman]

Two presidents couldn't lie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, imagine those days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That's so funny.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Imagine. Imagine what a president couldn't lie.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is really good. Yeah, that's gorgeous.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I gotta.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta remember that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah. Remember that. But. Okay, let's. Let's go back in. Let's do it. And maybe. Maybe when we get back in there, say something nice about this. The.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, let's go. I tripped.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, gosh. You okay? Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is that? Oh, my.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That's a back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why? What was a sword?

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah. I fell on my sword.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't know you had a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you sword? Often said I'm figuratively going to fall on my sword, but. Yeah, but to literally fall on my sword. Jesus Christ doing. Sticking on my back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Here, here, here. I got a band aid on my side from when you shot me. Okay, let me put that on there. Oh, there you go. Way better. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, all right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, Comedy Bang Bang has the greatest listeners in the world.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've met a few of them. I love them.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love them so much. And I want you to tell them. What is this show next we have?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I love my fans, too, a lot, and my family. But I will say this show is. It's geared towards the shorter attention span, which I've just sort of.

[Scott Aukerman]

What'd you say? I'm joking. Of course I'm paying attention.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do you remember what I just said? The shorter attention span is what I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Said, waiting just for you to stop talking.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, hold on. Let me just get through this. But it's. It's basically a lot of games with guests. We have fun short segments. My mother appears on it a lot. Well, you know, some. You know how it is. We're all reacting to things. We involve the people who work on the show. It's very much like a. A fun little family.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a. It's a. It's. If I can take over for you, because that's really terrible. Your show is. It's like a variety show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It is very much.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's games, there's little segments, some interviews.

[Gareth Reynolds]

With people who are interesting, but it's really. It's quick. 15, 20 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything is really quick. When I came on, we played a fun game, which was guessing how much your producer, I believe, went to a swap meet, and we were supposed to guess the items that he purchased, how much he paid for them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And unfortunately, we didn't know that he was a psychopath and that he would.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pay top dollar for the. Whatever they asked.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he. He didn't haggle. No. And.

[Chief]

And they.

[Scott Aukerman]

They were onto him by the end of it because they just kept upping the prices to everything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they were probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

Motherfucker will pay anything they're probably on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A group text going like, this guy's awesome. Get him over to your booth as soon as possible. He's buying everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

So now everything that I won, the first thing I won was a novelization of a movie.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Water World. Water World.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And now our good friend Adam Scott, who, by the way, on our bonus Bang series, we've been doing our series, Great Scott, which is all Adam Scott ep. So he's a great friend of ours and of mine. He collects these things, these novelizations of movies.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so I said that was the first thing that I won. And I said, oh, I'm gonna give this to Adam. And then you ended up giving me all the prizes. About 11 things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you want. You won a lot of them. But yeah, I did donate whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

I donated all of. All of the rest of them. So I had like 11 things, including a very large pot of some sort that no one could figure out what it was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We couldn't really find. Figure out what the point was. But it was $40 or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

For him it was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

For the rest of us, it would be two. Yeah, but. And I promised you that I would get Adam Scott to hold all of these items. Yes, And I did.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I said to you as soon as we were done, you don't need to do that. And you said, oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, I'm seeing him tomorrow. This is happening. I'm going to give them to him and he'll. I'll get you a picture of him holding all of them.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And you did deliver.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which I did deliver. And we can put that. That photo up on our page as well. Yeah, as well as I'm sure it's.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We've.

[Scott Aukerman]

Next we have your landing page of your website.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, it's everything. It's just by far the biggest thing that's happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam Scott says thanks for all the gifts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, well, it was. It was corroborating evidence that we have star power.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And no, but he looked really happy. I haven't actually heard the behind the scenes of the picture, but he looked real happy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was so happy. Oh, he was thrilled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was holding £24 worth of junk that he.

[Scott Aukerman]

First I gave him the book and he was thrilled. And then I said, you also have to hold all of this. And he went, why? And I said, I could tell you or you could just do it or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can hang out and get this out of the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he just did it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was a great picture.

[Scott Aukerman]

So check out that Picture. But this is what next we have is all about, is about friends and colleagues having fun doing these riffing on these little things, these little games and these little segments. It's a fun show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. And when, you know, when the producer goes back to the flea market or wherever he was. We would love to have you back to play another round.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love to come back.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was really, really fun to do. So Gareth Reynolds is here next. We have out weekly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

As well as your other two shows, which have a more sporadic release date. They're weekly as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a whole three week.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a three week guy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's a whole nightmare.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, fantastic. All right, well, we have to get to our next guest. Uh, speaking of fast paced.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Are you saying that you're moving on for me quickly? Is that what you're.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I'm just saying, like, uh, you. You do a fast paced show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I do a fast pa, but sometimes I feel. If I may.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fast paced shows.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know, I love that. But sometimes I feel like when you have a non podcasting guest, it made the segment. This part maybe goes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Might be a little longer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The A slot goes a little longer. Do you find that.

[Scott Aukerman]

How interesting?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I haven't run the numbers necessarily, but I got to put that through the calculator or whatever we use.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me know when we hang out. You can kind of give me the printouts or whatever, however you're going to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Definitely going to do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Look at that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's go to our next guest. She's in law enforcement. She's an old friend of the show. We've talked to her many times. Please welcome back to the show, Chief.

[Chief]

From the isle of the Balkans. Scott, I bid you adieu.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, is that the adieu of hello or goodbye?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Both.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Chief]

I simply must leave.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, please, chief, you just got here. Please. Yeah, you want to go at least one minute longer than Garrett.

[Chief]

That was one of the longest a segments I've ever heard.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you've been tracking these. Okay. Much like you've been tracking who? Well, a certain suspect, a culprit.

[Chief]

Scott. Well, say the name. Say her name.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is her name? I don't even remember what it is.

[Chief]

Carmen San Diego.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right, right, right, right. Carmen San Diego, who's accused of what?

[Chief]

That swashbuckling swing bat you bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, you've been chasing Carmen San Diego all over the world and you, you.

[Chief]

She has been stealing the world's biggest and most prized artifacts.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, yeah, the biggest ones are usually the most prized.

[Chief]

Exactly. Scott, you hit it on the nose. I'm stuffed with Balkan breakfast. Have you ever had Balkan breakfast, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know exactly what the qualities of a Balkan breakfast are.

[Chief]

Peppers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Salt. Just peppers and salt. That sounds disgusting. Actually, cheese. I mean, bread.

[Chief]

Hard bread is the cheese.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Chief]

Just the bread is so hard. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Nothing. Why were you in the Balkans if.

[Chief]

You don't searching for Carmen San Diego.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was she spotted there?

[Chief]

That damn blind puller.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's a blind puller. What does that mean exactly?

[Chief]

I don't have time to explain, Scott. I am on the case.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'm sorry. I don't mean to distract you. By the way, this is Gareth over here.

[Chief]

Hello, Gareth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Greetings.

[Chief]

Gum shoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. Well, greetings to you. Yeah. What a lovely. What a lovely breakfast. It sounds like you have a Balkan breakfast. Yeah, let's go through it. No, no, no. I was gonna say, don't salt hard bread. Yeah, yeah. Cheese too. Yeah, yeah.

[Chief]

Tomatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, no, tomato.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you. You didn't bring up the tomatoes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, cheese.

[Scott Aukerman]

The more things you say, the better this sounds.

[Chief]

And you rip the tomato. Your head with your hands. What as the Balkans do your bare.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hands or can you wear gloves?

[Chief]

Hands. And a pair of bare hands.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

May I? You mean you're wearing a pair of bear gloves?

[Chief]

Yes, you may.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Okay, that's fair. Made it clear.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you're not gonna. Okay, well, we can move on. You may have seen. Chief, You. You had a television show where you were chasing Carmen San.

[Chief]

Where in the world is Carmen? San Diego. It ran on public television.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I remember.

[Chief]

Scott's president is taking away.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. Yeah. For your loss. Is that why you don't have a show anymore? I mean, we haven't seen you around in a while.

[Chief]

They told me in 1994 that 30 years later they would be canceling the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and viewers like you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you ever get one of those tote bags?

[Chief]

I never received a tote bag. That tote bag was $78,000. That is the donation you would have to give in order to receive a tote bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you get one of those, like, opera video cassettes or something like that?

[Chief]

I got singing the 50s.

[Scott Aukerman]

Duke of Earl. Who was singing the 50s? The original artist.

[Chief]

The original artist.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. If you're gonna hear anyone sing the 50s, you wanted to be the original.

[Chief]

The original artist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or at least Shauna.

[Chief]

They're very young bandmates. Usually the lead singer of the band is alive much longer than the backup singer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I think back then, during the 50s, there would be a gentleman or a lady who would start a band. Then they would get a few barely legal folks to. To back them up. And, I mean, they die first and they. So what is going on with Carmen Sandiego these days? Are you.

[Chief]

She's just walking around, swinging those huge, gigantic normal.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's like a scofflaw in a way, isn't she? I mean, she's just. She's out there committing these crimes? Apparently, yes. Although she's had no due process.

[Chief]

No due process? Nor do you mean no due process this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, you've never arrested her in order to get her due process? I guess.

[Chief]

No, because I haven't caught her. She just floats away on those things.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You've. You've never come close to. How close have you come to getting her?

[Chief]

I've come close to coming many times.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, no, I'm sorry. I think you misheard my question. Yes. How close have you come to getting Carmen San Diego? To capturing her?

[Chief]

Very close.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever laid a finger on her, perhaps?

[Chief]

Oh, I've laid two fingers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then what happened? Why was that not enough to be able to take her down?

[Chief]

She shot up in the air and flew off.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds to me like she knows you're very. I mean, nothing. No, we didn't say anything.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She might have been doing a three with 720.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, you.

[Chief]

Do you two spend time with each other socially, outside of it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, it's purely a headphone relationship. Yeah, we've never.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And we're not even talking about doing something.

[Chief]

Why is that door open?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah, that door is fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that door's not open.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, chief, you are a.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're so funny. Oh, my God, I love talking to you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm having the best time.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, have you ever had a Balkan breakfast?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I really? What answer gets it to not be repeated? I guess I.

[Chief]

Do you know what that is?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah, I know what it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pepper, salt, cheese, hard bread, fresh tomatoes you have to break with your bare hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, you put some gloves on that are bare.

[Chief]

Salt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Chief]

Lemon?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I thought we were. Yeah, I know what it is.

[Chief]

Various meats.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so meats are involved in this as well?

[Chief]

Meats are involved.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. Yeah.

[Chief]

The Balkans have the meats.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay. I feel. Yeah. Okay, great. That sounds really complete.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. My friend texted me something about meat the other day.

[Chief]

What did they say?

[Scott Aukerman]

Something about when. Do you remember? Oh, Wait, why would you remember? Anyway.

[Chief]

Look, Scott and I are opening our Broadway show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right, it's called.

[Chief]

Anyway, that's what I've come here to promote.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And it opens. When does it open? I can't. I. So many emails, I've lost track. The 12th. Oh, yeah? Of what? Of love. Just the 12th.

[Chief]

You'll have to figure it out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Could be the 12th year.

[Chief]

It'll be the most exclusive show on Broadway.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. An audience of one.

[Chief]

An audience of one. But we do have one comp of it available if you'd like to come. That's right, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I. I would. I would love to come. What is the one ticket cost? Surely the overhead for a broad.

[Scott Aukerman]

$250 million.

[Chief]

250 million?

[Scott Aukerman]

You only gotta sell one ticket.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, I. The business model is a bit of a Hail Mary, but I don't hate it.

[Chief]

Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, no, sorry, that was a typo from earlier. It's Gareth.

[Chief]

Gareth. Okay, everyone, who has sat in the A slot and who has gone as long as you have. Well, I didn't know that it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't go that long. I really don't. I've heard people go way long.

[Chief]

The longest time I've ever heard in that spot, Chief.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No way. It was way.

[Chief]

I should know. I traveled.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Chief]

I've been to the ball.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Don't. No, do not bring up the breakfast. I speak for. Please, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, look, chief, Chief, we. Because Gareth went so long, we do have to take. We do have to take a break.

[Chief]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's normal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Unfortunately, we have to take a break. But can you stick around?

[Chief]

I simply have to leave.

[Scott Aukerman]

But please stay. Stay. I can't talk to you so infrequently.

[Chief]

We do have rehearsal after this scotch.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true, but we're starring in the show as well.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I didn't know that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's why they split the 250 million.

[Chief]

Exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're going to come right back, Gareth. You can stick around, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I'd love to.

[Scott Aukerman]

For a little while longer, I hope.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the full show feels good to me. I mean, I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I might kick you out before the end.

[Gareth Reynolds]

As much as you want me here, I'll be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, fantastic. When we come back, we're gonna have more comedy. Bang, bang. We're gonna have more. Chief. We're gonna have more Gareth Reynolds. We're Gonn Girl. Coming up. And remember the legendary Jimmy Buffett towards the end of the show. We're gonna be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang. After this, the best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people, right? I mean, I remember once I bought tickets for a Broadway show and for the next six months I kept getting ads for the show I'd already bought tickets to. I, I kept saying, I know, I know I was on the website, I know I visited the website, but I saw it already. It sometimes it just doesn't work. Well, LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals. And that's where it stands apart from other ad buys. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority, skills, company revenue, all so many things. All the professionals you need to reach in one place. Stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals only on LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn will even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. So you can try it yourself. Just go to LinkedIn.com Bang Bang. That's LinkedIn.com Bang Bang. Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads. Boy, sticker shock, huh? You know what I'm talking about? I'm talking about prices. They're going up, up, up, up, up at the gas pump, the grocery store rent. But you know what? At Metro, they got your back. They actually have lowered their prices and they're giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered over. Oh, get this. You get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required, no activation fees. So stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit metrobyt-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number. Not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guarantee covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply. Details@metrobyt mobile.com this episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or maybe you're scaling your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with Squarespace's collection of cutting edge design tools. These are real tools by the way. It's like a hammer they had. Squarespace reached out and they said, we invented a new hammer. It's cutting edge. I said, please hammer, don't hurt them. And we all laughed. But in any case, they have some great tools and anyone can build a bespoke online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Start with blueprint AI Squarespace's AI enhanced website builder to get a fully custom website in just a few steps. Using basic information about your industry goals and personality to create premium quality content and personalized design recommendations. And every dream needs a domain, doesn't it? Well, Squarespace Domains makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all inclusive price, no hidden fees or add ons required. Head over to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you are ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Gareth Reynolds is here. A three show guy, as he's described himself.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, three.

[Scott Aukerman]

A weaker.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, he's a free show guy. Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He's got of course, the podcast, the Dollop. We're here to help. And next we have.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep, that's three, baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they all come out on the same day?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, different days.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's smart.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't want to overwhelm people.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what are we talking? What? One we got on Sunday, one comes out on Saturday.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We got a. No, it's not a weekend release.

[Scott Aukerman]

No one comes out on February 29th. Whatever.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, they're all. No, no, they're just weekdays. It's a Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's gentlemanly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was that at the beginning there? Yeah, yeah. Is that good or.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't quite sure. You know, when I make that noise, I don't know why.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, it doesn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's gentleman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll be honest, it doesn't sound super.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know what you mean. I got. I gotta talk to my doctor.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have vocal nodes that make me do that.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wow. It's really. I thought nodes was like a thing where you couldn't be loud.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is that what those are?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Because that sounds like Maybe I'm just like a mic'd baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta check me with my doctor. Am I annoying?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Speaking of annoying, Chief is here. Hey, Chief.

[Chief]

What do you mean by that, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I'm just trying to segue.

[Chief]

But what I will say is there's another mystery afoot.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't say.

[Chief]

Chief, Oliver north has been married to Fawn Hall.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. Congratulations to the lucky couple. But finding love after all these years.

[Chief]

Oliver North. She was Oliver North's secretary.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Chief]

In the 1980s. Oliver North's been married to the same woman since 1967 who died in November of 2024. And I don't Want to. I don't want you to say anything negative about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would never say anything negative or about it. You might end this show if I were.

[Chief]

I'll take this show out.

[Scott Aukerman]

But yeah. One the the mind reels.

[Chief]

They met each other again. Rekindled at her funeral.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's such a. A wonderful story of two people who were in a professional relationship and and because they were in a professional relationship, had no thoughts about attraction towards each other, who then years and years later meet when circumstances change and suddenly a veil has been lifted from both of their eyes. And they say, oh, you actually are attractive. And then they get together. It's a wonderful, wonderful story.

[Chief]

What I can't understand is that Oliver north is 20 years older than Fawn Hall. Meaning?

[Scott Aukerman]

And he always will be.

[Chief]

Always will be. But now she's in her 60s. Gross.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, that's what you're doing?

[Scott Aukerman]

Stand or stand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what do you mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why all the preamble?

[Chief]

Do it in the 80s?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I, I, I. Well, because he was married.

[Chief]

Wasn't that what we just cares?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Garret, I, I Look, look, it's Garrett. It doesn't matter. Okay, it doesn't matter. But I, I will say I think a six year old could be attractive. Chief.

[Chief]

I, I name five.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's. How old is Carmen San Diego?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yeah. What about you, Chief?

[Chief]

Carmen San Diego was a perfectly supple 21 years old.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What? But she's been around for so long.

[Chief]

She doesn't age.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The breasts are still supple. I remember you referencing that earlier.

[Chief]

Absolutely. That knock kneed naysayer is she never ages.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about you, Chief?

[Chief]

Some sort of a Highland?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're an older woman.

[Chief]

Me?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Chief]

I am very old.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you, what are you? 59?

[Chief]

You wish that? You wish I was 59? A woman doesn't tell her age. But if she were to, it would be 78.

[Gareth Reynolds]

78.

[Scott Aukerman]

78. So you haven't lost any of your luster. The bloom isn't off this rose.

[Chief]

The bloom is definitely not off this rose.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You look great.

[Chief]

Definitely not off the rose toy. Excuse me. Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it's Welsh. G A R E T H. Gareths.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please stop correcting, Chief, please.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I'm not okay.

[Chief]

How dare you correct a black woman.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I know. Don't do that. Do not do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you don't white man splain to chief over here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I wasn't, I don't even know that. I didn't even notice Chief was black.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's go through.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let's go through.

[Chief]

Some of these accents.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, I. I don't wanna.

[Chief]

I've been all over the world.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Some of them are. It's kind of aged horribly. I don't want to redo that cheap. Why don't you tell me about the bulk and breakfast? That's pretty interesting. Yeah, what is that?

[Chief]

Have you ever been to north Macedonia?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I've been to south, north, nor east, nor west.

[Chief]

You should go.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have been to the center of Macedonia.

[Chief]

They have breakfast there.

[Scott Aukerman]

They do.

[Chief]

They eat it in the morning.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Morning. Right.

[Chief]

Peppers, cheese.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, so it's a Balkan hard bread. It's the Balkan.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about salt?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Salt, meat, lemon, cheese.

[Chief]

Meat.

[Scott Aukerman]

They got the meats.

[Chief]

They got the meat.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cheese, too. Right.

[Chief]

Cheese.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And the bread is that hard. That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, my friend texted me something about meat the other day.

[Chief]

What did they say?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. Never mind. Look, we have to get to our next guest. We have a packed show, and I want to save time for Jimmy Buffett at the end of the show.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I want to say the B slot felt nice and nice and long, too. I think everybody's having a nice long slot today.

[Chief]

That was the short, shortest slot I've ever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's get to her. This is fantastic. This is the first time she's ever been on the show. Please welcome girl who had the craziest night. Hey. Hey, Boo.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Did I scare you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know, Gift. Are you scared?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, I wasn't scared at all.

[Chief]

I'm frightened right out of my panties.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have taken off your panties and I wish you would put them back on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

By the way, keep them off.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'm not here to make things comfortable.

[Chief]

You heard the woman.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so nice to meet you, girl who had the craziest night.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, I bet you want to know how I am, but you want to get in this thick skull. Get in the side of this Tootsie Pop.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I wouldn't mind just figuring out what makes you tick. What?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

How do you think I am? Why don't you guess? I'd like to see you try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Using defensive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You don't seem happy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Aggressive.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little agitated, but I imagine that has to do with your experience or.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I've seen you can't even believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Try me. I mean. I mean, this guy will probably say, huh? What?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I mean, I've seen that.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Makes your nightmares feel like dreams. Makes your nightmares feel like PBS makes your nightmares feel. Clifford.

[Scott Aukerman]

What would my dreams seem like?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Your dreams. Your dreams would be bad, too.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm A little. Wait, so the reality is Clifford the.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Real Red Times a construct I didn't even know I got here. You get to put in my Invisalign.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, maybe you visited Chief's friend, Bill Cosby.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a little joke.

[Scott Aukerman]

Obviously, if that happened to you, I. I feel terrible for you, and I don't want to joke about that. But tell us, what did you had a crazy night?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, the craziest night. But you guys will get. Once you hear my record. Once you guys hear my music, it's going to change.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, you're a musician?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Well, yeah, of course. Once you guys hear it, everything's gonna make sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I didn't. I mean, I guess I didn't. That's not on your bio here.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You can't tell I'm a musician?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not really. I mean, you don't have any musical instruments.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, but I got this instrument right here. It's called my voice.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It sounds a little. I, I. I'm sure you really step it up when you record. It sounds a little shaky. That would be the only reason why.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would say it's not the most pleasant. Listen, I don't got notes.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I got throat goblin. I got goblins so deep they're tangled up in there. I got goblins at war because everything inside these at war.

[Chief]

Someone's been eating a Balkan breakfast.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, I love salt. I don't do lemon. I do peppers, jalapenos, red peppers. And then you can imagine when it comes out, it's not pretty.

[Scott Aukerman]

It comes out the other end, you mean.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Or you be the judge.

[Scott Aukerman]

So.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you guys want to climb on the roof?

[Scott Aukerman]

The roof? Not especially. Okay.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I guess Chief does climb on the roof.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to get on the roof?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Let's see who gets scared.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I mean, I. This is. Look, this is a pretty tall building we're in right now. I think I might be a little bit scared.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Let's see who can jump in the pool.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think we all could if we wanted to, but it's kind of a cold day.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Let's see who can dive in the pool. I hear it's only four feet deep.

[Chief]

Skull crushing.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That's what I'm talking. That's my lower back tattoo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Skull crushing is your lower back. Let me look. Just the bad boy. Just the word skull crushing. Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Out of context.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Skull crushing and soul crushing. Because once you hear my music, you ain't never gonna go back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you bring any of your music? Is that what you're here to talk about? I Honestly, I thought you were here to talk about this crazy night that you had.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

But I saw last night. You can't put in school books.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not looking to do that. Could we hear it on a podcast, perhaps? Or you.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I saw last night. You can't even put in a word. Words should. You can't even put into sounds. But it's close to this.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's one sound.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Would it help to maybe say a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Little bit what happened last night?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Because it feels like you're.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Well, once you hear my record, that's all you're gonna need to hear.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we hear the record and then we know.

[Scott Aukerman]

So do you make the record since last night?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, I do. A quick turnover.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I got a studio in my studio apartment.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not. I mean, it's not usually the sign of quality. Like, I just did this in the last hour, you know, But I. But sure, yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

My music's so rogue. I got nine mixtapes I put on Spotify Fight since two hours ago.

[Chief]

Wow. I need to get my membership back.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'll give you a discount code. It's called Skull Crushers 6969.

[Chief]

I'll remember that. I will remember that.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Not in a sex way. That's my area code.

[Scott Aukerman]

6969.

[Chief]

You're from the Balkans.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's right. Okay.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I love their breakfast, but I don't eat breakfast. I eat cigarettes. Friends, I. You know, my. Crush them up and I swallow them whole.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, let's hear some of this music then. I guess that'll explain what happened to you last night. Is that.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'll give you a little tease.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I mean, you give us the full thing if you want.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

It's 14 minutes long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just a taste.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just a taste.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Because I collaborate. Actually, it's. It's 32 because I collaborated with fish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The band or no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or the. The actual fish?

[Gareth Reynolds]

The fish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Marine life.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah. It's real life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, well, yeah, let's do the non fish part and maybe a sample and maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe just like 30 seconds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, not a lot. So that everyone goes out and buys it.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You guys definitely. You want to hear it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, chief. I mean, I would love to hear it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you sure?

[Chief]

Absolutely.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Give me a count in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do we need that for you to press play on this thing?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, just go and give me account.

[Chief]

Before I give you account, I need to know the tempo of the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

It's a like.

[Chief]

All right. 1, 2, 3, 4.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You think a person, but don't. I was with my friend. And I was living a lot. I was l. A lot. And I was doing it twice. How many?

[Scott Aukerman]

Twice that. I mean, that's. That's just a taste.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, sorry. There's more.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. We need another count.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

And it's twice as counts. Twice as count counts.

[Chief]

Okay. One, two, three, four.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Girls are on the go with their friends I love my life to the very end I'm with my girls in Christ and all I love my life and Jehovah's wimbles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I mean, that was interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I mean, you guys ever considered Jehovah's wimbus?

[Chief]

Jehombus Wimpus?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that religion?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess you traveled, so you know the. These things? I've traveled, yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You familiar with Jehoma's wimin?

[Chief]

I do know the book of Jehoma's wimas. Tell us more.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That's a book?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, I thought you knew about it.

[Chief]

I'd like to hear from her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you sure?

[Chief]

She had a crazy night.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, I had a night you wouldn't believe. I had a night that there was so much fire. They said. They said, call. Call it ambulance. But I said, let's burn. Let's let it burn under the ground.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, honestly, it sounds really interesting. I. I kind of wish you would tell us about it. I mean, the song.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I got like, 35 vines of it if you guys want to see.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, you could just, you know, off the cuff, tell us about it. Honestly, your music. Your music was interesting.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I don't normally listen to acapella music necessarily.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Then you shouldn't have come to my college.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't know what that means.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

It was in. I was in a lot of acapella groups.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't. No, I didn't go to college with you. I don't know if there was some sort of confusion about that.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, you rubbing it in that I didn't get my bachelor's, just my associates?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, I think congrats.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, that's more than I got.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, really? You think that's great. That's less than. You had it. You don't go to college?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I went to college, but I never picked up any actual degree. And yet here I am, successful person in show business.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dreams really do come true.

[Chief]

I went to University of Texas, Rio Grande Valley.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Huh?

[Scott Aukerman]

Congratulations. Did you graduate, chief?

[Chief]

I didn't. I showed up to the graduation and they said, get out of here, year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you just went that one day?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah, you got to clarify that.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I don't know if that counts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Chief]

Which college did you go to, girl?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

None.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you said you got your associates couldn't afford.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Well, I got my associates put out on my bachelor's. I didn't want a piece of paper because the government.

[Scott Aukerman]

The government? Yeah. We brought the government into this. You seem to have a very interesting, conflicting worldview. You bring up Up Christ and the government, Jehovah's Wimbus, and tell us a little bit about yourself. How did you get to this place? You. You can leave out the details of last night, but, I mean, what happened.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Last night, you never recover back from that. What happened last night was so dark and so bleak that it was like a cave you can't escape from. It sounds like the inside of this Tootsie Pop. How many licks?

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened before you bitten into it? You. You. Yeah, it was a new Tootsie Pop and you just bit and it seems like you lost a fil when you did it.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, I don't care about cavities. It's just straight blood and glass in my mouth right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What were you going to say, Gareth?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I just. Gareth. I just was going to say. Did you. What? What led you to this before last night? Forget about last night. What led you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What led you to the events of last night?

[Gareth Reynolds]

How are things before last night?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, I was at a bris.

[Gareth Reynolds]

A Bris? As a Jehovah Wimas. Yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Well, I. I live a really multicultural life.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Do I? Why tell me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gift.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, well, I saw you at the bris.

[Chief]

I was there.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Thank you for bringing the bulk and breakfast.

[Chief]

Absolutely. I never show up to a party empty handed.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I would have eaten it, but I was on 10 at all.

[Chief]

And because it was a brisk. I didn't leave empty handed.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Did you see the snip?

[Chief]

Absolutely. I was under the bottom and I caught it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that what you mean, you left with the tip?

[Chief]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Chief]

They don't need it anymore.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Just the tip. That's how I'm doing it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe the mo. He has that funny joke about keep the tip tip, and then he, like, throws it to a lucky person in the crowd.

[Chief]

And you know who that lucky person was? Greetings, gumshoot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. Your catchphrase, right? Have you said it until now?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No. I'll say.

[Chief]

No, I said it to you, Gareth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, but not on air. I think you said it to me a bunch before. It's all you were saying to me before we started.

[Chief]

Actually, I Didn't want to blow it.

[Scott Aukerman]

In the green room, but one time.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I got a mikvah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got a what now?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

A mikvah.

[Scott Aukerman]

A mikvah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Holy water.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Oh, okay.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I converted Judaism.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You did?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. That's great.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So. So is that. Is that what happened last night? You. That. It was related to that or.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

No, what happened last night? There was Bones, there was Skittles, there was Bombles. They were freaking out and they were like, get. They were like, get inside. And I was like, I'm not going to do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'm on the 4 or 5 freeway. I'm doing donuts like you cannot even believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doing donuts on the 405.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I mean, donuts. Doing donut on a 4 or 5 freeway.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You mean in the car or do. Is that.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'm doing any donuts.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're eating donuts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you're eating donuts in the car.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Doing donuts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you do. You're eating donuts on the 405?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'm doing it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you eating donuts and doing donuts?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I mean donuts. Doing donuts on the 405 Freeway. I got so many donuts in my face, I can't even see in front of me. I'm blind.

[Scott Aukerman]

By doing.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

It's Fast and the Furious style. I'm running down the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That was last night.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That was freaking long.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so that. What time was this?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

After the bridge?

[Scott Aukerman]

After the briso, Probably. I mean, that's usually an afternoon, so it's like 6:30. So. Yeah, 6:30 or something.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

1:00Pm moderate traffic.

[Scott Aukerman]

What time were you in bed?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Probably like 8 or 9.

[Gareth Reynolds]

8 or 9pm last night.

[Chief]

Very reasonable.

[Scott Aukerman]

This doesn't sound like a crazy night. You went to a bris, you ate some donuts on the freeway.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Good Morning America.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then you went to a bris.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Drove the speed limit, eating some donuts, got home howling cuisine. Guy in bed. Pray to Jehovah's Wimbus.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know that the Lean Cuisine is gonna help after eating all those donuts, but yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Okay, what are you saying about me? I thought this was.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not commenting on your body, although I'd like to.

[Chief]

Which flavor?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I had the lasagna special. Surprise.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a surprise inside? Like a toy or.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, there was a wedding ring.

[Scott Aukerman]

A wedding ring? Congratulations.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you sure?

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it. Do you. Are you involved with someone who's maybe proposing to you?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I don't get married a the government.

[Chief]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Right in that stuff times a construct as is love. Oh, who's in love here? Congratulations. There's capitalism.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, you're all over the place.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean it applies right now.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

In God's name we pray. Amen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so it sounds like a pretty sedate evening for you. You just kind of.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

No, I was freaking, freaking, freaking freaked my ass off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Woke up at 8:20 instead of 8:10.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rolled over in the morning. Yeah, 12 hours.

[Gareth Reynolds]

12 hours. And you've made an album too? Is.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, maybe. Recorded nine SoundClouds. SoundClouds went to Gold's gym.

[Scott Aukerman]

What'd you do there? Pumped pumps.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Did you listen to your album while you pop?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Listen to my music. Made sure all the levels were good like you do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. I mean we listened to some of the levels, seemed fine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, the levels were not an issue for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

For an acapella out.

[Chief]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'm so happy to be here with my girls and my guys and my ladies and I love my life and I'm doing it twice.

[Chief]

I like that one.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I, I love that one too. The levels were not a problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Levels of regret. It's not really my style of music. I don't even know what I would call that style of music.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That was a duet with the girl that sings. Put your records on.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There were two people.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Bailey Ray. I freaking love that song.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think we heard her voice. Did we stop it before she came on?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Should we hear her? Do you have any with her?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

No, that was both of us. I was in the background doing stuff like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that was her. Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess I didn't recognize her voice. It's been a minute since I've heard one of her songs.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You didn't hear me do it again.

[Chief]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Three little girls in the art dancing with a baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't remember Corinne Bailey Rae making so many panting noises.

[Chief]

Scott, when's the last time you heard a Corinne Bailey Rae?

[Scott Aukerman]

So honestly, it's been since the 2000 and tens is sure.

[Chief]

Cheese from London.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Different.

[Chief]

Have you ever had a British breakfast?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have, yeah. I, I, yeah. It's very similar to a Balkan in some ways.

[Chief]

Name it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Name what is on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say his name.

[Chief]

Say his name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Say his name.

[Chief]

Say its name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Same the name of the foods. Well, there's toast, there's. There's baked beans, there's eggs, there's hash browns, there's some sauces.

[Scott Aukerman]

Talk about the bangers.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's bangers, there's A lot of bangers, too. A lot of bangers.

[Chief]

Bangers. Bangers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it hard bread?

[Chief]

The bread? No, it's soggy. Everything in England is soggy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't think that's because it's so.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. It rains all the time.

[Chief]

It rains constantly.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's hard not to get it on the food.

[Chief]

They don't use refrigerators. They keep their food on the stoop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, but I mean, you're talking about. First of all, I. I've been there a couple times. I've never seen Stupid.

[Chief]

Oh, he's been there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Depends on what time you're walking. If you. You're just walking down these streets and like, there will be, you know, plates of food just on every stoop.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Around lunchtime.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll concede that. But while it sounds like a strange breakfast, the Balkan breakfast also sounds very, you know, it's.

[Chief]

Garret. How dare you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, no, I didn't mean anything. No, Chief, I didn't mean anything by that. I really.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you taking such offense? Are you English?

[Chief]

I am not English. I would never claim to be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Okay, I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, right before the show in the green room, you did introduce yourself as the English law enforcement officer.

[Chief]

The English Law enforcement officer is the film that I'm writing. It's a part two of the English Patient.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, this makes sense.

[Chief]

It's a mixture of the English Patient and Police Academy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is Hightower going to be in this? He is Michael Winslow himself.

[Chief]

Making all types of sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Making sounds like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That. Sounds very familiar. Tackleberry.

[Chief]

Yes, yes.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Can I get it on Blu Ray?

[Chief]

Absolutely not. It only comes on dvd.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, okay.

[Chief]

Got slightly out of date.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got to buy one of those little standard definition. All right, well, well, look, girl who had the craziest night? I. I mean, it sounds. As nights go, it doesn't sound incredibly crazy, but.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

No, it's crazier than you could ever believe. Who wants to buy my record?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I only take Doge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't have any. Do.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't have any Doge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Chief, you got any?

[Chief]

Do I have no Doge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, we're.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're a dogeless podcast today.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll get some Doge and definitely.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah, get some Doge. Cuz I got to get my Uber home.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to be able to get it that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, by the time you need to Uber home. Cuz we only have one more segment. But you know what? You're a musician.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have a musician coming up in Seablock here.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

So is a musician going to pay me in songs? I don't see how that's going to happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could swap songs, maybe.

[Chief]

That's a good bartering system. Them in the Balkans. They swap music and then, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

For your Uber, you could have your Uber drive you home and then you say, you know what? I'll drive you home.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, we could do it like Burning man where our currencies are music.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You know what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I bet we could get a ride home for her. I, I really, I. Oh, I'll just call my sister. Okay, great. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

That sounds perfect, actually. That would have solved.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

She lives, like, right down the block.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Probably walk there. It sounds like so.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

But we're gonna have to walk, like, 40 yards.

[Chief]

40 yards?

[Scott Aukerman]

40 yards isn't all that much.

[Chief]

Some people do that in four seconds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it's like 84 outside.

[Scott Aukerman]

Some people.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, we have to take a break, but. Oh, and Gareth, you have to go, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, I actually do have to get going, but, hey, would you hit me up? I really want to do that social thing do.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are your numbers? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's all that sort of rearrange.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rearrange.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll figure it you.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know exactly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay, that'll be great. Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we will have more chief. We will have more of the girl who had the Craziest night. But this is such an exciting time for comed Comedy Bang Bang. We have Jimmy Buffett, legendary singer songwriter, on the show. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Who do you go to in order to solve your problems, your life problems? A lot of people don't want to hear about it, right? I mean, if it's your friends, you can just start dragging them down with all your problems like they're there to be friendly and have good times with you. Sometimes. Sometimes. I mean, sometimes they want to hear your problems, but. Enough already. I'm talking to my friends right now. Enough already. You know, when you overshare with strangers, they don't want to hear about it. Definitely. Well, there's a difference between that. Doing those things that people don't like, and actually talking with a therapist. And that is where BetterHelp comes in. With clinically trained and licensed therapists, they've been around for over a decade. Sounds like around 11 years to me. Helped millions and out of 1.7 million client reviews they have afforded 4.9 rating BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals? A short questionnaire and these things are so short helps identify your needs and preferences. And if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time. It's fully online and you can pause your subscription whenever, wherever you need to. With over over 30,000 therapists. Sounds like 30,001 maybe. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people, 5 million and 1 globally. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of Expertise. Find the one with Better Help our listeners get 10% off their first month [e-mail] Bang Bang. That is betterhelp.com Bang Bang. You know, when you think about game day, you might not think Wayfair, right? I mean there are two one's, two words and one's one word. First of all, that's confusing right off the bat. And then they're totally different letters. Although the A's, there still are two A's. But the G and the M, those aren't in Wayfair. And the W and the the why is in both. I mean this is pretty similar actually. Game day Wayfair. I mean you might think about it, but one reason you should is because Wayfair, right? Wayfair is the best kept secret for incredible and affordable game day finds. Whether you're upgrading your tailgate with coolers that stay cold or patio heaters that stay hot, cold things should stay cold and hot things should stay hot, right? Wayfair has something for every style in every home, no matter your space or your budget. They even have decor and merch from your favorite sports teams. And the best part, Wayfair offers free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff. And when you're talking big stuff, here's what I ordered from Wayfair the other day. I mean when I say I, I mean Cool Up. Cool up ordered a bunch of holiday stuff. She ordered a. She ordered a giant skeleton for Halloween, a rabbit sitting with a ladybug. I guess that's year round that can just stay out there forever. So yeah, so Wayfair's not only got stuff for game day, but also has a bunch of holiday stuff that my wife likes. In any case, Wayfair is your trusted destination for all things game day. From coolers and grills to recliners and slow cookers. Shop, save and score goal [e-mail] that's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every home. You know, between busy schedules or schedules if you're from England and summer plans, sometimes all you've got is a couple of minutes in between things you're doing right well. Factor helps you eat smarter, not harder. I don't know how you could even eat harder. Eat smarter with tasty chef prepped meals that are dietitian approved and delivered right to your door. And now, with more than 65 weekly meals made for how you live and what you like to eat, you've got even more ways to fit in a real meal wherever the day takes you. I like factor meals because I have a busy schedule. These things are very, very easy to prepare. Sometimes I'll be like, oh, my God, I only have 20 minutes from in between this podcast I did and all of the talks with my financial advisors and I look in the fridge and I go, thank you, Factor. You're here for me. And then, boom, they're ready. I'm ready. I eat it, shmeet it and beat it. And you can do it too. Eat [e-mail] Bang Bang 50 off and use code Bang Bang 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus free breakfast for one. That's code Bang Bang 50 off at Factor Meals.com for 50% off your first box plus Free breakfast for one year. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor offer only valid for new factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Comedy Bang bang. We are back. Gareth Reynolds had to go, but his shows. Next we have the dollop and we're here to help our weekly. Apparently on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, he takes Tuesdays and Thursdays off, I think, which is nice. We also recovery days. Recovery for. Yeah, Good. Oh, my gosh. After podcasting. Absolutely.

[Chief]

You must rest the muscles.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Chief]

Stroke muscles.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Chief is here as well.

[Chief]

Am I? Oh, am I, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

You are. And you're still on the hunt for.

[Chief]

I'm still on the hunt for that cumbling computer girl.

[Scott Aukerman]

Girl.

[Chief]

Carmen San Diego.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. You. What are you gonna do if you catch her?

[Chief]

Oh, I'll tell you, Scott. I'm gonna tie her up, I'm gonna chain her to the wall. I'm gonna spread honey all over her and release flies in the room.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Seems like it's the song of the south, which I haven't seen, of course.

[Chief]

Wait a minute. But I'm gonna spread honey and butter all over her body.

[Scott Aukerman]

Body. Okay.

[Chief]

And place soggy British bread right at the. At her feet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah.

[Chief]

Which I will clean thoroughly.

[Scott Aukerman]

The feet or the bread?

[Chief]

The feet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. You know, my friend texted me something about meat the other day.

[Chief]

What did they say?

[Scott Aukerman]

Never mind. I'll tell you later. We also have the girl who had the craziest night.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Soggy British bread's the collab I'm doing with Adele.

[Chief]

British bread.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you say Adele, do you mean Adele computer?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Correct. I'm doing it on the Dell computer.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, this sounds really good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, we.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, we've been hyping it up for the past two segments. We have to get to him. This is so exciting. I'm such a huge fan. Cheeseburger in Paradise, Margaritaville, all the rest of his songs. These are the songs that our next guest, who is a legendary singer songwriter, has created. We're going to ask him all sorts of questions about his process, about his singing, the fact that, according to Wikipedia, he passed away a few years ago. We'll clear all that up. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Jimmy Buffett.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Let me just open this door. Hello. All right, then. All right.

[Chief]

Wait a moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello, Mr. Buffett. I. I guess I didn't realize you were a. I. It's. It's like when you listen to the Rolling Stones, you're like, sorry, oh, my gosh. Who's. Who's that American woman singing? But then you find out it's this British guy named Mick Jagger.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's actually James Buffet, but Jimmy to my friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jimmy Buffet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Caterer to the stars. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not Jimmy Buffett, the singer songwriter?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no. I believe he's passed on, hasn't he?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait. So his Wikipedia page was correct?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. Jimmy Buffett is dead as a doornail. Yes, as a doornail. Unfortunately, made my life a lot easier when he went, though. I'll say that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So stupid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, it was a stupid mistake.

[Chief]

Scott, I'm gonna cover you in the same honey that I'm gonna cover Carmen San Diego.

[Scott Aukerman]

Will you give me the same soggy bread?

[Chief]

Yes. And I will clean your feet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry if I missed something.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

What's that? Elevated blanket.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But it's great to be here to talk about all the Buffets. I've done all over the world for all of the stars. Some royal.

[Scott Aukerman]

I Guess we could do that. I mean, I'm sorry, I had 10 pages of questions for Jimmy Buffett here.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I could do some of those as well. Whatever you'd like. Yeah. Go on then.

[Scott Aukerman]

How'd you write Margaritaville?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh. Oh, gosh. I just killed a. Killed a hobo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I'll be honest, I can't posture as a. Yeah, ask me another one. Ask me another one. I think it could work.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have to write Cheeseburgers in Paradise.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I dragged. Found a wife that.

[Scott Aukerman]

A wife.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Ah, sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you're.

[Gareth Reynolds]

This is not working out.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think you can answer any of these.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Sorry about that, but Jimmy Buffet.

[Scott Aukerman]

James Buffet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

James Buffet.

[Scott Aukerman]

You sound like an interesting person.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, fascinating. I think you're going to be. I think you'll be happier that I'm here than you said.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're Jimmy Buffett, a caterer to the stars.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes. In town for the Emmys. Just. You were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, did you cater the Emmys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did, yes, but not one of the main ones. Sides.

[Scott Aukerman]

Side, like. What do you mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

When you saw, you know, you see the different echelon of all the stars, and I was sort of castigated to one of the smaller side Emmys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sort of the side Emmys?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't heard of the side Emmys.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, they're doing the big one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And that's great. And I love those. And those are big stars. And I'd love, you know. But I work for sort of smaller, smaller known quantities off to the side. But I was in town for the air, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

That sounds great. But you were in town.

[Gareth Reynolds]

In town, yeah. Doing the whole thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell us about some. The stars that you've catered for.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, gosh, I was doing. Do you know Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement? Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was a troubled child star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yo, he's a big problem. Yeah, he was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Allegedly.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, allegedly. No, he really is. No, but he was there. We. We. He was at the show, at the. The side Emmys and then he was at the after party and we just had a great time. Time. Cool. Yeah. So there's a lot of people there who are just, you know, side stars. Smaller stars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Smaller stars, Yeah. I mean, that's cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, it was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, we all knew his name, right?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he was there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cool.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. And it was pretty much him last night was. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it his. Wait, was it his party?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, sort. He's not. He's in between.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you shouting? Can I ask?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Am I shouting? Am I.

[Chief]

That's My thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, sorry. I could take it down a little bit, chief, I apologize.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, that's all right. I just said.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'm because. Excited to be here. Yeah, I'm excited.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Were you at his house?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I was at Jonathan Taylor Thomas's house.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it. But it wasn't his party.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It wasn't his party. It was my party that I was putting on for him and we had a big buffet. But he and I do all big buffets. Jimmy Buffet, James Buffet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see. So what are. I guess if that's the only star that you've been around, I guess we'll segue to your buffets. Tell us about your buffets.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I've worked all over the world for loads of people. People for a long time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Like, like, like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did Sean Connory's buffet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sean Connory's buffet. He's huge.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was a big star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen to this. Bond. James Bond. Shaking not stirred. Yeah, he really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, Very good. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he do that when. When you were.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No, no, he was not. He didn't like that sort of thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you did do it and he didn't like it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly. Yeah. Did it often. Actually hated it. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So we did. I did. I've done his. I've worked for royals, Roy.

[Scott Aukerman]

So which royal. Because we have a guest, Brian Byron Denniston, who is a royal watcher. He'd be fascinated with all this.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah. Well, I'm always just a fly on the wall, you know? I mean, I set up behind the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Walls, actually, most of the time. Like in the walls.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is that right?

[Scott Aukerman]

He's hiding.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Usually. Yeah. No. So I'm just putting the food out there. But I. I don't ask a lot of questions. I've worked for the Finnish royal family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've worked for the Dutch royal family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've worked for the Macedonians. Oh, I've worked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever had a Balkan breakfast?

[Chief]

Have you ever catered a Balkan breakfast?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I have, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know what's in that?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, obviously you do cater to. Yes. It's a bit difficult, honestly. It's a bit simple, to be honest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yeah.

[Chief]

Name it.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Name the book.

[Chief]

Say its name.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Bulk and Breakfast in Greek.

[Chief]

Ingredients.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All the ingredients. Oh, gosh. It's a bunch of hodgepodge.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll start you off. Salt.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Salt's a big player. It's mainly salt.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Hard bread.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. The hot. But it's fresh. They're always bragging that it's fresh bread, but it's hard. It's hard.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Tomato that you squeeze with your prayer hands.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Are you all right? Is she all right?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think she's all right. Yeah. You got to hear music to really hear.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You guys. Mind if I nuke this linguisine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Go ahead.

[Chief]

What flavor is it?

[Gareth Reynolds]

It.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

This one's soggy peas with a side of hard.

[Chief]

That's gonna stink the place.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's okay. We only have about 15 more minutes left on the show.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You guys got. It's 25 minutes. I gotta eat it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's fine. You can stay 10 minutes after.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I work in the food business, 25 minutes is way too long for something like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nuke something.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, that's far too long.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it really too long?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I think so, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

She put two fork holes in the plastic.

[Chief]

Oh, I got the longest thing you've ever cooked in a microwave. Microwave.

[Gareth Reynolds]

The longest thing I've. Duck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Duck. How long does a duck take?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Duck takes about two and a half hours to make a microwave. Yeah. Because you can have duck raw.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and you don't want to do it? I don't know what you're saying. You can have duck raw.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can have duck raw. You can have everything raw. No, you shouldn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You can have it raw, though.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Too late. I'm just trying to.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, my God.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That was a duck with my bare hand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you mention the meat?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Meat. Are we back to the Balkan?

[Scott Aukerman]

My friend texted me about meat the other day.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I don't understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's all right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So.

[Scott Aukerman]

So tell us about these buffets. Do you do, like, specialized buffets, depending on the star?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, it depends on what they want. So if someone. Let's say I'm dealing with someone who's a soap opera star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Like, let's say I'm dealing with someone who's a soap opera star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure. So I'm in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lucci.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, I love her.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. So. So. So something like that. Right. I'll sort of work in a dramatic fashion. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like the. The manner in which you're working.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Build the drama throughout the buffet.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean?

[Gareth Reynolds]

So you start off, there's no plates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's a crisis.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, meaning you didn't bring any plates?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, there's none there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then as they go further down the line, do you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have a scene where, like, you're saying to Susan Lucci, or whomever it may be.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, there's no plates.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no plates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then she'll come up to me and then I'll say, wait a minute, the plates were here all along.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And then they're there, and then they're there.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then it's mostly just macaroni and a few other things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. I mean, do you. Do you clue them in at the end of the evening? Like, oh, there were plates. And we're just doing this because you're a soap opera star. No, you just seem inept.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, let's say it's an action star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Chief]

Susan Lucci.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

They do donuts with donuts in the street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What was that?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That they doing donuts in the do street.

[Gareth Reynolds]

All right. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much time we have on this Soggy peas, by the way?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

1824.

[Scott Aukerman]

1824.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Love that show. 24.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Not sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love that number. 18, Keeper Sutherland. You know what I mean, chief?

[Chief]

Absolutely.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm sorry, I don't understand. What was that?

[Chief]

Carmen San Diego is Highlander.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That's what they call inside joke.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, okay, so an action star.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So say I'm an action star. Right. Someone big like a Sean Connory. Sean Connory. We start off, there's no plates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Plot developing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Same thing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Same sort of thing, Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

He comes up, you say, oh, no, there's no plates.

[Gareth Reynolds]

There's no plates. What are we going to do? He's highly motivated. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And motivated to work.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What, find the plates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he wants to find plates.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, of course he would. He's got a buffet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sure he has plates at his house.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, he's not allowed to use those ones.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is that part of the rules?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, I've taken them. So it's a real. What's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then as he moves on, I say, there are actually plates. They're in here somewhere. And then it's just kind of rolls and macaroni and things like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is like a murder mystery party, but for plates.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, it's more of an action movie, really. Have you ever seen the Rock?

[Scott Aukerman]

The. The action star? Yeah, he's in Fast and Furious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yep. That's. Yep. That ties it all together, in my opinion.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You ever seen. Oh, Rock Hard. You guys mind if I open the mic? I gotta add my trout.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sure. Open the microphone. Wait, microwave. Whichever thing you want to open, just go ahead.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Got a real smell.

[Chief]

She turned it to Mike.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Got a lot of cabinets and doors.

[Scott Aukerman]

I never thought about that. Microphone kind of has. Has cornered the market in shortening to Mike. Yes. Other than Michael.

[Chief]

Other than Michael.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't really do it with any other word that starts with Mike. Michael, what were you doing? Were you doing a Night Rider?

[Chief]

That was my impression of Paul McGarden.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Where's Michael? Oh, that's Home Alone.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would Paul McCartney say Michael.

[Chief]

Michael. Wait, she's mine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That's the duet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Duet. The duet, yes. Did you ever work with him? Michael Jackson?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, I did, actually, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What sort of thing would you plan for him?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I worked with Michael when he was at his peak.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

1983.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, exactly. Right around there when things were really going well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And so what I thought is, I thought, all right, let's make this interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gareth Reynolds]

We can really cater this towards his strength.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Start off, no plates.

[Scott Aukerman]

No plate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And he comes in and he's curious where the plates are. And it's just very. It sort of starts it off on the right tone, you understand?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. No, I understand. I guess I. What I don't understand is, are you like some one trick pony with the plates thing?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I mean, the plates is a big part of what I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you advertise as, like, the plateless caterer or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I cater towards every event, specifically.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see. And then you advertise as the plate full of full caterer. And then it's a surprise when you don't have any or.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I wouldn't want to tip my hand too much because everything. Every event's different. Every.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you shouting?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm really not trying to. I'm really not.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Michael.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'm really not trying to.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Michael. I had to give it a try.

[Scott Aukerman]

The girl is mine.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Michael. Michael.

[Scott Aukerman]

Michael.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

No, you don't get to do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why? Yes, kid.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

William Daniels from the Graduate was the voice. Was the voice of Kit and from.

[Chief]

Magnum PI and from Boy Meets World.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a career. Did you ever work with him?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I did. The youngest Savage. I absolutely did. Yeah. Catered. Catered a number of events for him. One of them is graduation. Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

For the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

For. For.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not Fred Savage, but the men.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Ben. Ben Savage, Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Run for office recently?

[Gareth Reynolds]

He sure did. And could have done so much if he'd just been given a chance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just one. One?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, just one.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the thing about politicians. Like, you have to win in order to do all the stuff.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I've done a lot of political events.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, absolutely. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like what?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, careful.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I'm not affiliated with any party.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your own parties?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, my. Exactly. I do parties. That's quite good there, friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Gareth Reynolds]

But what I'll do is I'll make sure, like, let's say it's a Republic Republican event. Okay, we'll start off. Yum.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me guess.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Sorry. That's because you're eating my stupor.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. It's only 10 minutes through.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I like it when it's done.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's Lean Cuisine. I thought.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Why'd you put it in for something?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'm doing a UK breakfast. Nice and soggy.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wait, what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so let me guess. No plates.

[Gareth Reynolds]

No plates.

[Scott Aukerman]

No plates.

[Gareth Reynolds]

So they show up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just a lack and an absence of plate.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What, are they gonna put the little stacks in song?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess. Maybe their hands?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, that's the only option.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do people do before plates?

[Gareth Reynolds]

I believe they are off rocks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just put it on, like, flat rocks.

[Gareth Reynolds]

They put it on a floor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seen a rock?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, sure I have. Yeah. Lost a lot of weight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. You know why?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Gareth Reynolds]

No plates, no play. Yeah, I worked one of his things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. That's so interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you want to lose weight, if you like, don't do these crazy fad diets. Just throw away all your plates.

[Chief]

Portions.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes, exactly. That's very.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Thumbs.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. Well, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not sure what that. Yeah, of course.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

But the spork of the hand.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah, right. For sure about that. But. But yeah, no plates. And then when they show up, they've got a lot of questions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Like, where are the plates?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Where are the plates? They're furious. Right. And then I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fast and furious.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Fast and furious, exactly. Well done. And then I sit around and I say, oh, gosh, it'd be great if there was a plate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Eight.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Right. And we've got, like, bread rolls, we've got macaroni, things like that. They can make sandwiches out of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And then it's a bit of a mystery for them. Macaroni sandwich, Nothing better.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of carbs before I run 40 yards in four seconds.

[Chief]

Yeah, 4.2 seconds.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Quite a distance, but yeah. So that's the buffet style of that one. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it sounds great, but if.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It'S a democratic event, obviously, it's very dumb.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're still eating that Lean Cuisine?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Just.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You guys mind if my sister comes in to pee?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, whatever. I mean, as long as you get a ride after that. I don't want to be.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Gonna be here a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's fine. I.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

She drank a lot of greenery.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why she doesn't track me later? Boy, she'll be here in four seconds.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

It sounds like she just got her permit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, she got her permit.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

She's a year older than me. 16.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so she's gonna drive 15?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

She's gonna drive in this track meet?

[Chief]

What is.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not really. It sounds like an automotive race.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

She's gonna drive through the 400 meter dash.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know. That's.

[Chief]

See, I think she'll be disqualified.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I don't know. I think there's nothing in the rulebook about it. Just show up with the car.

[Gareth Reynolds]

You're allowed to drive those?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, Just show up with the car one day.

[Chief]

40 yards in 4.2 seconds.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, here she is.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hi.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

You got a piece of instrument?

[Scott Aukerman]

Gatorade? Oh, yeah.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I have a big check.

[Scott Aukerman]

Me use the. Use the bathroom if you don't mind.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I'm wearing my Loubout.

[Scott Aukerman]

You see those? High heeled Loubouts.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Wild. What a sound.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are fantastic. Well, you know, I gotta say. Jimmy Buffet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. James.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, James Buffet. You know what? I didn't have high hopes for your segment, but no one did. Yeah, but you're fascinating.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, listen, what a life. It's quite. I mean, we're about talking on 45 years of doing this now, so there's lots of stories.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you love what you do, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It doesn't feel like I'd love to come back.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so. But I'll tell you what, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Some chaos.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yelling on yelling.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scotty Yaki podcast.

[Gareth Reynolds]

New shirt, new shoes, new shell.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, that was Plug it Forever by Micah E. Wood. That was good. It feels like you're abusing the time allotment we've given you, though. It's. We give you a minute so you don't do 46 seconds. Like that was. We give you a minute so you like come in at 30 seconds. You know what I mean? Do we need to shorten this?

[Chief]

I like that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I loved it. It. I just at. At 23 seconds, I was like, oh, it must be over. And it was like, no, it's only halfway through at that point.

[Chief]

Well, according to my research, that song would have been in perfect time if the A segment hadn't gone as long as it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point. We have plenty of time for a full minute if the A segment. Sorry, James Buffet. We had a guest who really Abused his time privileges.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, you mean you started off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes. You. You were in Seablay Block. He was an A block and just, like, ran so long.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the energy in here was still very, very vibrant when I came in, so I won't worry about that one bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Hey, let him cook.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let you cook because you are a caterer. So what do you have to plug?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, on behalf of your A block guest, I've got a couple things. You.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he give you some plugs? Yeah.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Well, I just found a sheet here. Look, if you want to book me, you could go to jimmy buffet.com. that's where I am. He's got a few podcasts. I think you've mentioned that. And also his recording is Jimmy Buffett only get.org October 4th in Chicago. And you can go to his website, which is Gareth Reynolds dot com. What was your Jimmy Buffet question?

[Scott Aukerman]

Jimmy Buffett, though.

[Gareth Reynolds]

What about him?

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he only get.org like you? You got Jimmy Buffet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

He was just a bit of a musician. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't Worry. Yeah. Gareth Reynolds.com for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Gareth Reynolds.com for the Jimmy and Jimmy Buffett. Faye for booking me.com.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Is it confused? I feel pretty straightforward.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's pretty straightforward. Some sort of show in Chicago. I heard.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Correct. I wasn't listening.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love that. And chief, what do you have to plug?

[Chief]

I love podcasts and I love getting them shut down if I don't like what they say. But this one, I do like what it says.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what is it?

[Chief]

The name of the podcast is the Flagrant Ones.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I've heard about this by Hayes.

[Chief]

Davenport, Sean Clements, and Carl Todd Heart. It's on the Hollywood Handbook. Patreon. Patreon.com. hollywood Handbook.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Can I have a question? Do they ever drop the act?

[Chief]

I still don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, interesting.

[Chief]

Also, if you like the Sopranos, Carl Dart and Lamar woods host a show called XOXO by the Beans, where they are watching every episode of the the Sopran.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this is a spin off of their XOXO Gossip Girl show, Gossip Kings. Gossip Kings.

[Chief]

And apparently you were unavailable. It's all over the tree.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did? Oh, I. I was unavailable for the Soprano show the other day.

[Chief]

You simply must come home.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because. Because they wanted me to do it on a weekend and.

[Chief]

Oh, excuse me. Wow, your weekends are so busy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I do have a child now whom you gotta come by the house. We have to hang out socially.

[Chief]

Chief, let's hang out socially. Please.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have to do this. And girl, who had the craziest night? What do you want play to plug?

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

I got. I just uploaded like 14 soundcloud songs since I did the interview. And I am on Leanne on Netflix. Well, Hannah Pilkis, she's cool as hell. She's on Leanne on Netflix. All 16 episodes. Season two coming soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's right. And my wife was watching this, was laughing her little butt off.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Oh, that's awesome. And then I have got a live show September 27, 7:30pm at Elysian Theater. So go ahead and catch it. Unless this episode's not out yet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, it'll be out all right.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Sig is all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what do I want to plug? I want to say, hey, head over to cbb world.com. we have. We have so many great shows over there. First of all, you have ad free episodes of this show, plus the entire archive, every live episode we've ever done, all of our tours. Plus we have shows like CBB Presents, where people who are on this show have their own shows. I think we have a new show coming up on CBB Presents that people will be really interested in.

[Chief]

What's the.

[Gareth Reynolds]

That?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I don't want to say until it actually comes out.

[Chief]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And let's see, we also have. Scott hasn't seen Where I want Gareth.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

The.

[Scott Aukerman]

The. Our guest. Who?

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, the A block.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the A block. He was on that. We watched Battlefield Earth.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Oh, that sounds lovely.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a waste of time that was.

[Gareth Reynolds]

I'll tell you that. A block. I'm sorry I missed it. I just can't get enough of A block.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. But so much stuff going on over there. CBB World. Com. You gotta go check it out. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Bags.

[Gareth Reynolds]

And they need some clothes. We need these bags because we're nosing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nosing, nosing.

[Gareth Reynolds]

It's time to open up the love bag. You got 20. 25.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. See, 35 seconds. That was nice. That was Nosing Round by Lout, Haha. Featuring Benny Shaw, Bobby Moyn and Scotty Ox. All right, thanks so much to them. And if you have any sort of plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com plugs. You'll find everything you need to upload your own songs and the stems for all of our remixes. And. And guys, I want to thank you so much for. For being here. Of course, Chief. Wonderful to see you again. It's been a minute.

[Chief]

Always good to see you, Scott.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Chief]

I'll be back in no Time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I hope you'll take a little bit of time because I am actually done for recording for the day.

[Chief]

But I'll be back before you know it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Chief]

And to the listeners. Keep it wet. I'm talking about the bread.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Chief]

In London, there are a lot of British listeners on this.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. You should come back for wet day. Perhaps, if you really want to keep it wet. But I also want to thank a girl who had the craziest night. I mean, we never really got to hearing exactly what happened, but hopefully another night like that doesn't occur.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Thanks for having me. We gotta go. Allison. We're gonna miss the. Check me. All right, let's go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Two very. I mean, look, they're sisters. That's why they have similar voices.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Twins.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Twins.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Twins. But one year apart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Interesting. So just. Just let it cook for a little while longer.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Course we want to thank Jimmy Buffet. James Buffet.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful guest. Wonderful.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Yeah. I would have loved to have gotten into the British bread stuff a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh yeah, I would have loved to, but unfortunately.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Maybe we could do a little bit longer of the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh no, unfortunately that we have a timer. It's a. The show. We do it New Year's Eve style where there's a ball that drops and oh look. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

My food's ready.

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Gareth Reynolds]

Stole from your ex.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or your overpriced tapa studio apartment. Or extra rushed rush hour traffic.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Packed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like your calendar.

[Gareth Reynolds]

Triple booked at 5.

[Girl Who Had the Craziest Night]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Grab a vitamin water. Did we mention it's packed with vitamins?