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Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast
Best of 2024 Part 3
02:21:54
Merry Best Of’s to all from Comedy Bang! Bang! Join Scott and Paul F. Tompkins as they countdown numbers six through four of the Best CBB episodes of 2024 as voted by YOU listeners. Plus, Scott and PFT try to put their The Music Man disagreement to rest and play the Snowman game. Tune in Thursday for Part 4!
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Scott Aukerman
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Potential savings will var not available in all states and situations. Oh yeah. Indeed. Welcome to Comedy Bang bang best of 2024 part three. It sounds to me like he's saying, oh no. He's saying, oh no. You think oh no. I said that's what it sounds like to me. So you think he's. You think Reggie Watts, by the way, who does the theme song, who performed that improvised it live in studio during episode 102. I believe you think that he was frightened by the prospect of a show happening. Yeah. You read? Yeah. You're ready. Oh, no, I gotta get out of here. He doesn't. He doesn't say anything. That's a good point. There you go. Occam's razor. Akerman's razor. Oh, were you with the first time you heard that expression? Did you get a little excited? I was sort of like, oh, am I old enough to shave? Yeah. Yeah. Am I old enough to shave a great, great big bushy beard? So you. Am I old enough. You heard this expression when you were a child and I put away childish things pretty soon after that. I didn't hear it until I was a man and I'd already put away childish things. Yeah. What if it. But obviously before I thought I did some childish things, but I was trying to. Yes, yes. I thought as a. I thought as a teen. I acted as a teenage. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang once again. Yeah, man. This is part three of our 2024 Best of It truly is. And where this is an exciting episode because we're going to be cracking the top six. Then we're going to crack the top five, then we're going to crack the top four. Yeah, yeah, we're just cracking these things. We're top crackers. Yeah, we're definitely tops. Unlike, of course, that guy from last week, Ebenezer Screws. Notorious Power Bot Bottom from last week. You know him as. The guy from last week is esr Scrooge. Like, do you think Scrooge during the summer? What is he like? Do you. Can you see Scrooge in shorts? Yeah, he probably wear shorts. They're like. He's a pretty chill guy, man. Shorts and sandals. Yeah, it's just the. You know what? He just gets seasonal. He's seasonal. He's got sad. Yeah. I mean, people get sad around Christmas. A lot of people do. So. Yeah, So I. I cut him a break. Yeah, he wasn't so bad. He's probably out there playing badminton during the summer. He didn't need to be visited by ghosts, you know, he's just kind of a sad guy. Hey, you're depressed. You have a problem, and we're gonna send ghosts to your house. People hurt people. Thank you. A friend of mine was in a show, I think, I guess it was like a theme park type show. My favorite kind of show. And the premise of the show was that, I mean, essentially Scrooge relapsed and had to be visited again. Right. Second Part two. So stupid. Hey, Scrooge, remember last time? Yeah. You said you'd learned your lesson. I mean, honestly, that is what would happen. Yeah, probably everyone tries to get better and then they just fall. But you know what? Scrooge was. Was so old that perhaps he could have died before relapsing. That's the thing. If you ever want to change your ways, wait until you're just right about before you're about to die. Yeah. And then you won't ever relapse. I got into an argument online one time. Yeah. What's better? Online argument with somebody who. Because there was a. There was an adaptation of Scrooge that. Or of Christmas Carol that FX did. Where? The effects channel. Yeah. Of course. We have to see the backstory of the villain. That's the new thing. Oh, yes. How did Scrooge come to be. Hey, guess what? We see all this in Ghost of Christmas Past. Yeah, exactly, exactly. They covered it already. Yes, but they. But this person was saying, this is where he learns how to say ba. Yeah. Someone says bar around him and he goes, oh, I like that. I only use that. Humbug. I'm stealing that. But this person was Saying, actually, I thought it was a good adaptation, and it. It fixed one of the fatal flaws or the fatal flaw of Christmas Carol. What? And I was like, please tell me what. Tell me what the fatal. What has made it be so unpopular? Yes. What is the one problem with this beloved story that's been retold countless times? And they said that Scrooge in. In A Christmas Carol, Scrooge only changes to save himself. And I was like, no, he's. He's not. No. In fact. In fact. Well, here's what I would say. Before I was in it back in 1992. Sure. At the Sacramento Theater Company, I maybe had seen some adaptations which were facile and perfunctory at best. And it can come off that way of just like, the only part you remember as a child is the big skeleton guy going like, check out your grave. Yeah. And, oh, no. Okay, I'll change. But when you read it and when you see a more complete version, in the version I was in, I was struck by how much of the Ghost of Christmas Past stuff is important to the story. Where. That's where he starts his whole journey of realizing how much he's changed and how much of an asshole he is. Yeah. Because the thing is, he's not. He. It's not that he. This prevents him from dying. No, the whole, like, the skeleton guy is like, check out your grave. You're never going to have one of these if you change. Yeah. No, it's just what's written on it. The idea is the lead up to the reveal of the grave is, everybody's talking about this, who just died. Yeah. He was the worst guy in the world. Yeah. And Scrooge is like, still came to his funeral. Wait a minute. Who is that guy? Well, no, they didn't go, oh, that's right. It's people who work. This is all people are like, we're very sad. He was an asshole. But still a human life. Yeah. So it's not like, oh, Scrooge is now immortal. Although that's a great idea for a movie. The Immortal Immortals. Scrooge, he goes back and forth so many times now I'm a jerk again. I figured out I can't die. So I did have an idea for a movie that I was thinking about working on. I think I've told you this and you thought about working on it. I thought, well, you know, you have, like, ideas for things and you're always sort of juggling like, oh, which one do I spend time on? Oh, well, with me, it's non. Oh, okay. Yeah. I just keep those ideas in my head. Think about them every single day. Never write anything down. So I had this idea and I'd run it by my agents and I. And they were like, that's honestly your most commercial idea of all of these. That's the one we would say spend time on. And I had been thinking about it and thinking about it, and then I turned on a movie and it was that idea. Oh, no. Lily was in it and. Oh, I auditioned for that film. As what, Will Ferrell? No, as the ghost of Jacob Marley. Oh, okay. I had to sing and everything. Yeah. And never heard a word. I got ghosted. Wow. You got Marley. Yeah. My idea was just like. I mean, this crew, they. They did it for Ebenezer. They must have to do it for other people all the time, you know? So wasn't that the. The premise of. Yeah, yeah. Great grape. Love it. Love it when someone gets to an idea before me. Now, considering that movie came out on a streamer. Right. Yeah. I think it was apple. And then did anyone. I don't remember anyone ever talking about it. No, I. I don't think anyone ever watched it. But I. I do think that just. That's the way that one came about. Yeah. If I had done it, I probably would have written it terribly. And why do you say that? I don't know. Why can't you say I probably would have won the Oscar. Yeah. For first Christmas Carol movie. Sure. For a modern revisionist take on A Christmas Carol. The beauty of the public domain. Yes. What do you hear what I do with Steamboat Willie? They. They do. There is a horror Steamboat Willie coming out this year, I think you know how the winning. When Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, it's one of those. Anyway, I have to introduce us. My name is Scott Aukerman and you've been listening to us for now nine minutes on the dot without us ever saying who we are. I am Scott Aukerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang every week and here co hosting with me as he does on these best of episodes every year for the past probably 14. We have not ascertained that as of yet. We have the hilarious comedian who has all of his own stuff going on, but he also does characters on this show, Paul F. Tompkins. Hi, everybody. It's nice to be listened to. Yes. It's not nice to be seen. Oh, I don't like being seen. No. But to be listened to. Don't want to be reminded what it looked like in a Photo. We are here. We are gathered here today to dearly beloved, to count down what you have all voted on to be the top episodes of Comedy bang bang for 2024. Now, we've discussed the voting period. The last episode. We don't have to talk about that. Nope. But. But we're calling it the best of 2024. And our first episode is going to really shake the. The title. Oh, no. Our faith in the Fidal. Our faith in the title. Faith in the Fidal. Is this going to change the balance of power in the comedy band universe? I hope so. Oh, you hope so. Yeah. Okay. I want black Adam. I love. He is in the Comedy Bang Bang universe because he did an episode of the Batman show. Oh, that's true. That's true. You changed the balance of power. Yeah. We are counting down your choices. Basically everyone got to vote for your top 10. And we have on previous episodes counted down episodes 14 through 7. And on this episode, we're going to do your choices for 6, 5, and 4. That seems fair. It seems equitable. It seems. It seems logical. Yeah. And it seems just. Thank you. Yeah. We're all about justice. Yes. We want basically everyone there to be equal justice under the law. That movie, Justice League in black and white, was it. Is it because it's like these characters see things in black and white. I think it's interesting when you see a movie like Wolverine. I saw the black and white version. I didn't know that happened. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. In fact, in one of the. By the way, coming up a little later, we're going to have Don Cheadle clip number three from Ocean's Eleven. Yes. As well as. And I know before you start whining regarding Henry behind the scenes anecdote number two, but the last clip that we played was in black and white, and I don't think that part of the movie is in black and white. I think someone did what Soderbergh has done with the Indiana Jones movies and just did a black and white version of it. It looked really good. Soderbergh did that with the Indiana Jones movie. With Raiders. Definitely with Raiders. Okay. I think he not only did it in black and white, but he did a different score as well. Like, he likes re. Editing. Wow. He's an. I'd like to see that. I haven't seen that. Yeah. It's interesting. He edits most of his movies, I think, under a pseudonym. And he's just a guy who loves editing and loves, like, Wait a minute. I feel like the editing credit in this movie is Mr. Edits. Yeah, that's him. Snippy Cuts McGee. He. Snippy Cuts McGee. Yeah. AKA AKA Mr. Edits. That's the. Yeah. Wow. I was wondering why that credit was so long. But he just loves editing. So he'll edit movies that other people have made and put it up on his website for sure. And just be like, here's a different way to look at this movie. Absolutely. Which I think is fun. But I do like black and white versions in the Justice League one. While I didn't watch it, I think is. It's fun to watch movies in black and white. I'm not against black and white. I just. It's a. It's an interesting Michael Jackson song. That's right. You. Huge morphing technology. Love it. Do you think Ted Koppel is happy that that's one of the last things he ever talked about? Oh, he's got to be. He's still with us. Yeah. Good. I'm sure he's stopped talking about anything else, right? You mean, like, all he talks about is black and white? It's like, yeah. Do you want to visit Ted, Grandpa Ted for Christmas? He's just gonna talk about morphing. Everybody sit down and be quiet. This video uses morph energy. Ah, boy, we love them, don't we, folks? We love Ted Koppel here in this house. We love Ted Couple. But we're going to do the Regarding Henry fact. We're going to hear a clip of Don Cheadle in Ocean's Eleven. And at the end of this episode, we're going to play another edition of the Snowman game. Currently, we are one to zero. That's right. In favor of Scott. Yes. So we'll hear exactly what happens in part three. Can I catch up? We don't know if it hits me again. I don't know. I doubt you'll be able to catch up since we only are playing one more time. Yeah. If it's two to zero. I know. So we'll see. Yeah. I did like how we started it on a different place than we did the last time, so we'll do that again. You mean the Snowman himself? Yeah. Yes, absolutely. To keep it fair. To keep it fair. Let's clear my throat. That's how you. Hey, Results. Hey, don't results speak for themselves? My throat's clear as a bell right now. All right, well, let's. I teased it a little bit, but why don't we get to it? This is your choice for episode number six. Number six, episode six. I talked about how this is the best of 2024. Yeah. This is episode 804. 43. So this is pretty much in the middle of the eight hundreds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost right in the middle. Yeah. So close to the. Being dead center close. This was from December 18, 2023. What the fudge? That's right. We talked about the voting eligibility period last time. This is the holiday episodes. The one that just came out two weeks from today. Two weeks ago from today. That was not eligible for our best ofs because we record these a bit in advance and we couldn't get all your votes in time and all that kind of stuff. So there you go. So there you go. But this one was eligible. This is the 2023 holiday spectacular. Absolutely, yes. No one's disagreeing with you. No one would. All right, who do we have? We have Jason Mansukas. Jason Manzouka's first appearance in this year's countdown. We have Paulif Tompkins. This is your third appearance in the countdown. Is this true or two? I think this is your nwete special. And then you're also in Fire can be fun. This is your third appearance. We have Tim Baltz, his first appearance. We have Lily Sullivan's first appearance. Sean Distance's first appearance. Guess who's back. Vic Michellis. Guess who's also back. Carl Tartz. We have Drew Tarver, his first appearance first, I think maybe only episode eligible. Lisa Gilroy is back. Dan Lippert, Gil Azzari and Will Hines. Wow. That's a murderer's row. Stacked now. This was so long ago, I'm trying to remember details about it. I think this was the one. Maybe it was the one before this. And I've talked about this last time, but I think this was the one where I wrote to everyone telling them what time to show up, and I forgot to CC Will, even though he was on the schedule. Yes. And I kept going like, where the fuck is Will? He's a guy who always. He likes to show up at the beginning and hear everything, even if he's at the end. Yeah, yeah. I kept going, where's Will? Is he okay? Is he okay? And then I checked the email and I never cc'd him on it. And I texted him frantically, like, hey, we're doing this episode right now. Can you come by? And he did. I think that's this one maybe. It reminds me, as many things do, of when Jesus and Joseph and Mary lost our Lord in the temple. Yes. And he was, you know, doing his Teachings, even as a child. Well, I like how we lost Cool Off Sister in the Disney Store at Disneyland once. In the store? Yeah, in Downtown Disney. Is that where she ended up being? Or you were in the store and then she disappeared. We were in the store. We suddenly couldn't find her. We searched what we thought was the entire store, but it's so huge that we could never find her. And then the people at the store said, usually if we put out like an announcement over the intercom, she's probably somewhere in the store. And so we finally found her and Cool up was crying. And crying because we were in charge of her. She was young. She was like 10 or something. Right, right, right. We were in charge of her for a week or something. Did they do the announcement? They did the announcement and said, go to this part of the store. Right. And they did. And that's where we found her. Thank Christ. Thank Christ. Can you imagine if she was still there? What if. And what if she was? She was so young. What if they sold her as a doll? Well, yeah, that would be bad. I mean, but I was thinking she'd be raised as a Disney store employee. No, no, no. That would be the only culture she knew. No, check this out. This is a picture of her. She looks exactly like Mickey Mouse. Oh, yeah. She'd be sold off. Yeah. That's unfortunate. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she looks like a rat. Not like Mickey Mouse, but like if Mickey Mouse was real. Yeah, exactly. Can you imagine if Mickey Mouse was real with his Caucasian face and his clothes. Yeah. And his stupid ass voice. Shut the up. Mickey Mouse was in front of me right now. You know what I'd say? I'd say, shut the out of my face. So here's the other thing I wanted to ask. Yeah, Please. Is this the first appearance of Fred Guinness? I can't recall. Is it only a year ago? I don't know. This is the. This is the first clip we're going to hear. The first appearance ever. I don't. I don't think that it is. Look it up. I can't remember. Why am I bothering to chime in? Yeah. I don't know. No, you were on the 14th anniversary show in April of that year, and then you also did an episode in July of that year. This is your third appearance as Fred Guinness. Now, Fred Guinness was. I think we talked about this on last year's countdown. This was. We just got to talking about. You had planned to do someone else, but then we got to talking about the Guinness Book of World Records. And then called. Yeah, yeah. Called you as the keeper of them. Fred Guinness. Yeah. So this is a character who's only appeared on the phone. Via phone. Yeah, it came up spontaneously. And then I just didn't even bother doing. I think at the first break, I was like, yeah, let me just do this. Let me just keep doing this. And. And you've. We've heard from him on tour now. The first Los Angeles show, you were in Atlanta, was it. Yes, I was in Atlanta. And you were filming something. Right. And so. But you wanted to be on it, so you did it all from Zoom. Yeah, via Zoom, which was fun. And then this last Los Angeles show, we pimped you into doing. And you went off stage and did him. That's right. Which is very funny. And one of the keys to Fred Guinness as a character is that I can never quite remember what the voice you'll hear that in this clip. Absolutely wouldn't be Fred Guinness without it. Then we're going to hear a clip of Tim Baltz, whom you may know from the Righteous Gemstones. He plays Edie Patterson. We mentioned Edie before. Plays Edie's husband on the show. Edie is the daughter of the Gemstone of the Head family. Papa Gemstone. Tim is on that show. This is his first appearance on the Countdown. He plays the character Randy Snuts, who has his own podcast on CBB World called hey Randy. We're going to hear from him talking about gift ideas. He's interrupted by Lily, who plays the devious Carissa. Randy on and off again girlfriend Davies. Davies and us. And then we. Let's see. Sean Disston plays Room Tone. Tony, we're not going to hear that clip. We have the name Room Tone. Tony really makes me laugh every time I hear it. Vic plays my lawyer, Terry Alamander, who also played on this most recent Christmas episode. We have Carl Tar was playing Shohai Otani. Then we're gonna hear Drew and Lisa playing the pig twins. The pig twins are back. We don't hear from dan Lippert playing Dr. Dr. Marty Goldstein. We don't hear Will doing Harvey the Devil. We are gonna be the devil. We are gonna hear Gilazari doing Ned Bellanella, the busiest man in the world. So let's hear these clips. This is what you picked for your number six. Number six. Jason, always a pleasure to see you, but thrilled. We do have to get to our first guest. That's all right. You know. Well, am I calling him? Is he. Or. Or is he. I have to call. Okay, let's call his number. I just have a random sequence of numbers here that I. Beep, boop, beep. You don't have to say the beeps along with the beeps. I'm so sorry. Are there beeps being put in. In post? In post? I don't know how much post you do for this show. We're out. No, we're out of our post budget. We're really totally empty. The coffers are empty. Is that why you started the GoFundMe for finishing funds? Yes. Oh, yeah. Let me press the last number. Okay. It's ringing. It's ringing. Is he gonna pick up? Oh, man. Are we being. I guess he's not there. Oh, Fred. Yeah. Fred Guinness. That's. That's me. You got him. Hey, Fred. It's Scott Aukerman of Comedy Bang Bang. Scotty. What is going on, my man? What is going on? It's so good to talk to you. It's good to talk to you. Listen, if my voice sounds a little bit different because I don't remember it, that's okay. That happens to the best of us, right? We wake up, we don't remember how we talk. Yeah. It's so great to talk to you. Jason Mandukas is here with me as well. J, man, how are you, pal? Great to see you. Great to talk to you. That's right. But I feel like. I feel like I could see you clear as day. You as well, though. Your voice evokes just even, like, a sartorial flair that I think is impressive. Real. You know, no one's ever said that to me before. Yeah. Oh, are you kidding? I'm a real. When I. The way I dress, my style, I guess, could best be described as basic. So what is that? What does that include? Yeah, you know, like, I wear polo shirts and khakis. Oh, sure. You know what I mean? Do you play polo? I don't play polo. Oh, okay. I don't think you should be allowed to wear the shirts then. I agree. It's stolen valor from. From Ralph Lauren. No. Yep. The most famous polo player in the world. Polo, even. Or is he just a guy who was like, you'd look good in this? I think it was. You know how when you were a kid and you got. You would draw like a. If you drew. You drew like, the same thing over and over again. Right? Like, you had your own. Good at that. Yeah, you got good at that. And I think that Ralph Lauren probably just drew a polo guy and that. He was like, I gotta make this A company. And was it a polo shirt? Because did the shirt style exist? And then he's the first guy to put a polo horse on it. No, I. I believe that the. The. The polo shirt predates Ralph Lauren's existence. His very existence. Yes. Really? Before he was even. Just before he was Daddy's nuts. Before he was Ralph Lauren. When he was Ralph, I believe. Lip. That's right. That's right. He changed his name. Really? Oh, yeah. He actually. He hold the Polish shirt. Holds the record for shirt being in existence before Ralph Lauren. The Guinness record. Yep. But that's. I. I totally forgot. That's part of your thing. I enjoy talking to you so much. He's dropping records on us from the beginning here, guy. That's right. That's right. You're Fred Guinness, and you are the owner and proprietor, or just the proprietor? I am the owner, proprietor, chief cook and bottle washer of the Guinness Book of World Records. That's right. And you're the guy who knows them all and gives that information to all of us in book form. That's right. And I think that, you know, for kids from age. I want to say 9 to 69. No, I would say reading to 13. Yeah, reading age, whatever that happens to be. 3, 4, 5. Yeah. To 13. 13. And then it's like people are used for it. No, not interested anymore. And I do have some sad notes. Sorry, Jason. Please go ahead. It's hard with these transatlantic connections, but sad news. The two fat cowboys on the motorcycles just died. Oh, no, no. I love them. Just now. I love those guys. It was this morning. This morning. Is that what you're calling? Are you. Oh, I called. Are you calling. You call me. You called me. He'd kill us if we had a chance. Oh, that's very sad news indeed. They. They captured the hearts of everybody who. Oh, the Guinness Book of World Records. Everyone loved them. They'd go to that page first and, you know, they were. It's really sad. What was their record? I don't even remember. Was it Fattest guy? It was fattest. Twins. They were twins. So that motorcycles had nothing to do with it. No. But they did figure into their deaths. What happened to them? They were chased by Pop Rocks. Oh, no. They got. Princess died. Oh, my God. They got. Princess died. Yeah. They wanted one more picture. Ever since they were in the Guinness Book, they were hounded by the press for years and years and years. Never were able to snap another picture. Because I've never seen a different one, because those motorcycles were fast. Oh, God. Guys, can I. Can I be honest with you? What's going on, Fred? The records game has gotten me down. Whoa, no, not during Christmas. It used to be like you had a freak that had really long, curly fingernails. Yeah. You need to be visited by three ghosts or something. Why? I'm not a bad guy. No, but you need to find. I just don't like my job. You need to find Jesus Christ. Who doesn't like their job during Christmas? Three ghosts. Jesus Christ. You need to find the joy of records again. Well, the journey. You need to go. I mean, one of the things that does give me joy, and I'm ashamed to say this is, of course, the dark records. That's right. We talked about those last time. The dark records. Yes. These are the records in the. It's a separate tome that only you have access to. We have a Guinness Black Book, which we keep under lock and key. Right. But we do record these records. You must. They're records. Yeah, that's our very business. It's a raison death. What are some of the dark records again? Well, there's some that are in house, of course. We had most homicides committed by an employee of Guinness, which I'm sorry to say has just been broken. Oh, no, no, no. What happened both times? There was a. An employee named Ken. He stole a sightseeing bus and like one of the TMZ type ones or. But in Ireland. Yes, tmz. Ireland. Tmz, of course. Who do they cover? Bono. Bono. The rest. Bob Geldoff, of course. You know, big commitments. Yeah, The Commitments. A lot of time in their hands now with Shane McGowan passing. They have no commitments. Great uncommitments. Are you still there? Hello? Are you still there? Felt like I was getting an echo. So Ken stole a sightseeing bus and it was one of those days where it was bring your daughter to the sightseeing bus. Oh, no. So it was double the amount of people. Oh, boy. Everyone. And all of them had daughters. Yes, they all had daughters. You couldn't. You couldn't get on the bus if you didn't have a daughter. Oh, God. Half adults have daughters. They took DNA tests. They took dhs. You had to. You had. So you couldn't. You had to take it. No, it couldn't even be adopted either. You had. We had to do paternity tests. We had to do DNA tests. And did any of them come back as 100? That. That's fun. It is fun. It's fun. I don't know what you heard about Me. But I'm the motherfucking Randy. Yeah. Randy Snuts is here. Hi, Randy. What's going on? What's going on, Randy? Let's get it. Randy, great to have you back on the show. It's been a while. Yeah, it's great to be here. It's honestly a better reception than normal. You know, I know I'm not everybody's cup of tea, but when I am, people be slurping. Yeah. What's going on during the holidays? What does a Randy Snuts do during the holiday season? I mean, I shut it down, so whoop dee doop. I agree, doc. I mean, I work as hard as I can for 11 months. On December 1, I shut it down, and I just start looking for gifts for friends and family. Oh, good. Okay. So you have plenty of time to do that. Yeah, absolutely. So are you ahead of the game now? I'd say. I mean, what day is it? When is this coming out? Monday. Yeah, so I'm like, Mondays deep into. Into it. I don't want to sign, bro. Yeah, Mondays deep into it. Okay. But I came on specifically, I think, for the listeners, because I. I came up with a top 10 list. Oh, you have a feature. Oh, wow. So Fred had a feature. You have a feature. This is great. I have a feature. Top 10 Christmas gifts for Scott Aukerman when you're on a budget. Whoa. Okay. I appreciate that, because I'm very hard to shop for, I imagine. Why are you so hard to shop for? Because anything I want, I buy, and I already have it. While most of these gifts are priceless. Oh, okay. Oh, they're. Oh, really? So you can't find these in stores. Okay. But it's on a budget. Yeah, it's on a budget. I mean, it's priceless. Yeah. I mean, it's from me. Yeah. And some of these you absolutely can find in stores. Okay. Like the first one. Number one. Well, this number ten. I'm going. Oh, so you're descending order subscription to musical theater magazine, which you can basically get for free because no one's trying to buy this thing. Wait, is that a real magazine? You should buy the magazine. You should buy the entire. Yeah, I am out. Yeah. And then only cover my own musicals. Yeah. Like Hearst. And then suddenly I have, like, a big Akerman Castle. Yeah. Get yourself a Rosebud situation. Oh, I thought that you had a musical called Hearst. Yes, I am thinking about doing a musical version of Citizen Kane. Just go Hearst with exclamation point. Why the fuck not? I mean, I believe that that could be a hit. Yeah. Look at this convo that I just got started. It caught fire, thanks to my gift idea. Sure. All right. What's number nine, Randy, I'm sensing these are all slams because you made fun of the fact that I like musicals. No way. Don't be so cynical, Scott. These are not all slams. These are thoughtful things. Let's hear number nine, then. Okay. Number nine. A DIY kit to turn your bathroom sink into a urinal. Can you guess what it is? What? The DIY kit is some ice. Yeah, it's a big bag of ice. Great, because nothing is stopping you from pissing into your bathroom sink except a big bag of ice. Well, that's the thing, is, sinks are about penis high. If you're tall enough. Yeah. Wait a minute. And toilets are lower. It's like, why do I have to bend over to get to you? You come to me. Bend over. Wait, what do you bend over to piss in a toilet? So you bend over, and then with your hand, you push your penis back toward the toilet. Wait, are you getting. Are you. Are you getting too close up and demonstrate what you mean. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Yeah, that's what I thought. So you hold. What's he doing? What's he doing? You hold on to the back of the toilet. You bend over. You hold on to the back of the toilet. Exactly. If you're a gentleman. So that your penis just points into the toilet. Yeah. Otherwise it goes all over the place. Yeah, Truly. If you want to truly aim it in there. What's number eight, Randy? All right, number eight. Now, this one obviously is. You know, you can't find this in stores. I made it myself. It's a coupon that says Scott, I'll let you talk to me for a half hour about hentai. I still don't even know what hentai is. Yeah. Wow. Never have I ever. You have to explain it to me one day. What hentai is. Yeah, it's the stuff you jack off to. It's the stuff. It's the stuff on your computer monitor over there. I see you're about to receive a mean one now. Oh, no. What number are we? Let's go. We're. Let's see. This is number five. Okay. A homemade booklet of compliments like you take really good selfies for someone who's Gen X. That's savage. Not sure what the. What the. The. The slam is there is the how old I am. It's actually kind of. That was actually a nice one. Oh, okay. That's a good one. All right. See, I was trying to be mean. I can't. Because our friendship is so deep. It is. It truly is. I see you maybe twice a month. There is a slam in there. Twice a month, there is a slam in there that you're old. Being that you're so old, it is impressive that you take good selfies. I guess so, yeah. Not incredibly old, I would say. Shockingly. What's number four? Shockingly old. Knock. Whoa. Randy. Carissa. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? This is so crazy. I'm hanging out with my boys. Oh, my God. I was just bringing Scott this big plate of cat puke taquitos. Oh, no, thank you. Cat puke taquitos? That's your favorite. Extra pukey. Did she say. Did that woman say kanak canuck? She may have. This is Carissa, by the way. Yeah, my ex girlfriend. Oh, ex. Now, is that what your relationship status is? Yeah, obviously you can see the first one that's looking up right now, as you know. God, you are looking so hot today, Scott. Thank you, I guess. Scott, don't fall for this. She's just doing this to piss me off. No offense. You are looking good today. Thank you. Yeah, I take you at your word. I look okay? I wish I could see what's going on. Carissa. What are you. You're here just to give me a gift? It is the holiday season. It's great to see you. Exactly. You and I don't know each other all that well. Sky, you don't have to. We've been dating for about a year now. What? Yeah. You've got to be kidding me. Serious, isn't it, Scott? I don't know that I would characterize it that way. Scott, don't dance around the issue, all right? Like, honesty is the, the best policy. And if you want to remain friends with me. Randy looks pissed. Randy looks pissed. Dude, look at my shoulders. Oh, my God. His, his body language is so. It's gotten so tight. I'm staying. I'm standing on my tippy toes. You pissed me off. Now my shoulders are locked. Chris, I'm on my tippy toes. Okay, okay. Ready? Breathing shallow. Oh, my God, he's so angry. I, I, I, I don't know that Chris and I are. That's our relationship. I mean, you. God, I took your virginity. He was the first 85 year old I ever took the virginity from. Oh, my God. Congrats. And you may have set a record. I'm actually applying for my own Guinness Record. Is that so, lady? Yeah. What is it gonna be? Charisma Strongest. My name is Carissa Strongest. Gag. Greek Flex. Meaning that you gag really easily or that you. No, opposite. I don't gag. Oh, wow. Okay. You know that, Scott, that can be tough. You don't have to play dumb. It's over. Chrissa. No, don't get too worked up. Because remember what your doctor said. You could die at any time. You could diet anytime. You could diet and die. Show some respect. I am. No, I'm firmly on Scott's side. He's sticking up for our friendship. And he's breaking up with you because he sees that. It's devastating me. So are you guys back together now? I don't know, Randy. Do you want to get back together? I mean, it's been fun with Scott and all, but it's kind of been like Weekend at Bernie's, like, scaring this real load around. So disrespectful. I mean, thank you, Randy. She said more disrespectful stuff to my face for sure. Right. So you saying it to Scott's face means that maybe we can get back together? As long as you don't say that kind of stuff to my face. Wow. This is very sweet. Yeah. We've had so many wonderful Christmases together, Randy. Like, remember that time I kidnapped your mom as a gift? As a gift? Well, yeah. It was the only thing that got me and my mom back together. Not sexually. Right, right. You were estranged at the time. Yeah, we were estranged. Right. I wasn't looking for strange. We were estranged. Right. Yeah, I got it. Okay, good. You've never had sex with your mother. You keep qualifying that you haven't had sex with your mother in a way that makes it now feel to me as though you. Absolutely. I haven't heard the recent episodes of your show. Have you talked about you banging your mother recently or something? What the hell? You need to tune in. I'm not talking about it. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. What's that? All those times that we were going to sleep and you would put on cbee World and fall asleep. It's the only thing I could fall asleep to that and eat. Pray, Dunk. Well, I'm glad you guys are back together. Randy, do you have any more. Any more gift ideas to close out the. Because we're coming up on a. I have a gift idea. What's that? A big box full of hair. Don't need one. To be honest, I don't know if I want to say these. Cuz these were on the meaner side. And. And were. Say them. Go ahead. Okay. A coffee mug that says Scott hasn't seen his own penis. Please welcome back the Pict Twitch. Clem and who again? Pearl and Cl. Pearl and Clem and Clem. The picture Twins. We ain't married yet. We twins. We twins. We brother and sister. Sister skin. And that's our daddy, Bacon Man. Zinkus, you're their father. Bacon. I'll be honest, I don't remember the lore, but I'm willing to believe it. Remember? Until recently, but now we remember. Banking man is our father. We grew up in a tuba in the grand old op. We're just little. That's what. We're just little. We're just little. That's part of it. That's part of it. Fred can't see you. You grew up in a tuba. Yes. An instrument not normally associated with country music. Well, we don't always. Just anywhere there's spit, we thrive. Yeah. We smell like spit and we vibrate like tubas. Ooh, we love that tuba vibration when that brown note goes through our little piggy bodies. Yeah. That's how we came of age, that tuba vibration. So what do you guys do? I didn't quite. We're starting a greeting card company. Greeting card company. That's what we were just talking about, greeting cards earlier in the show. You were? Yeah. I did a tight 45 seconds on him. Really? That's too long. Yes. It was kind of an interesting theory that. Why are they called greeting cards? When you just saw the person and you said, hello already. I want to hear more than 45 seconds of this. I like it. I think it has legs. So that's where you're at. You're at pig twin. That's your audience. Yep. My demo. We don't think he had like. We think you got hooves. That's right. Not legs. All right, I'm going to give y'all your own show on Vomity. Bling Bling Bling Bling World. Yes. Are you in? Yes. We. We got. We've given it. We. You know, Hallmark. I've heard of Hallmark. They do all those great movies. Yeah. And cards, I think. Oh, that's right. Yeah. They're primarily for movies. Is that the model you guys are trying to do? Start with cards and make your way up into movies? Well, that's the thing is cards, they cost like a dollar fifty each. Movies, they're like $100 million. It's like, why. Why would anyone. You're so out of touch. You think cards cost A$50? Why? How much are they these days? Oh, they sing, they light up, they do all sorts of stuff. Now these cards are like seven bucks. Seven dollars for a card? My cards shoot bullets. My cards shoot bullets. He's rich. I'm rich. Yeah, we. We have Christmas greeting cards. My brother used to. You sent me one. Oh, okay. Well, can we hear some of these? Yes, you can. Okay, take it away. All right. Three kings came riding from faraway land at the small of our backs grows a tiny hand. They came bearing gifts for the new glorious king. We asked the pigeon to go steady, but he said it was just a fling. What do we think? That's the first one. Wait, does it end with what do you think? Yeah. Curious meter. Very specific and sounds like pages long. Sounds like we're flipping pages in between. Yeah. Here's another one. Another one. What holiday was these are all for? Wise. It mentioned the three wise men up top very briefly. This one will help make it more clear to you. Sean, is that your name? Show. Show. Show. Hi. Oh, our name's Pig. I know. Piggy Santa came to town and auntie snout with glee he killed a cat and drank its blood. Piggy Jamboree. What do we think? Is that part of it? Yes. It does stand on you. So this is a. This is for the piggy jamboree? Yeah, it's for Piggy Jamboree. Here's another one. Do these have images on them or are they just text based? There's a little square where you draw your own image. Okay. But we encourage you to draw genitalia. Yeah. Card comes with a little pencil and it says, draw dick. Dare you. So the card is also on the front of the card after. What do you think? I don't know. Piggy Santa brought us gift. We now we have to kiss him. How bloody are his hooven hands. Piggy Jamborism. Okay, okay. What do you think? I mean, I'm glad Jizzum wasn't involved. Draw a dick if you dare. Piggy Santa loves the kids. He puts them deep in snow. He puts them deeper, deeper still. Piggy Jamborough. What do you think? What do you think? Draw a dick if you dare. Draw a dick. Here we go. You're the last one. I like Piggy. Piggy Jamboree. Draw Piggy Jamboree. Piggy. Piggy. One, two, three. God protect us, please. What do you think? Draw dick. Draw dick. So they seem to become more and more obsessed with this Piggy Jamboree. Are you guys throwing. Is that. Is that the holiday you're talking about when you say holiday cards? This is the Piggy Jambori. That seems like the hook that is really being explored. The hoof. The bloody hoof. Well, cuz, Piggy Jamboree is our barn version of Christmas. Oh, I see. What? When does it occur? The Piggy Jamboree Now. Oh, really? Right now. Oh, well. Happy Piggy Jamboree. Brought your helmets. Wait, why? Halo? Yeah, because you're gonna get bopped around by our little knuckles. The youngest pigs in the group get to bop around the heads of the older guys. Oh, okay. And that's Piggy Jamboree. I'm sorry, that's all it is. I couldn't help but notice from some of these cards that you brought, they are soaking wet. Yeah. They dripping in blood? Yeah. Oh, it's blood. Really? Oh, yeah. It's blood on mine. Grease on clams. Remember that part? Grease from our last. The cards are covered in clem grease. Yeah, Clem grease. I don't remember much from that, to be honest. I haven't started pulling the best of clips yet. Oh, it's gonna be on there. You're gonna want to familiarize yourself with our. Do you remember it? Yes. The look of terror. Do you remember your own lore? I do. A lot of people saying we were written and directed by Yorgos Lanthamos. How sure are we on that? Please. Welcome to the show. Back for a. A third time, I believe. Ned Bellanella, world's busiest. Scott, how you doing? Oh, excuse me. I'm getting. Oh, you're getting a call. Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry. I'm getting a phone call. Hello? Yes. Hello? Yes, is this the Pumpernickel Times? Yes. So no, I have a big scoop. Yes. Huh? No, Bagel boy is putting not enough pumpernickel in the bagels. Yes. Yeah. No, they're barely brown. It's a. It's a huge scandal. Yes. No, I'd like to renew my subscription to Pumpernickel Times too. Yes. Six years, please. Fifteen hundred dollars. Okay. What's your Venmo? Pumpernickel with a B. So bumper. Nickel. Okay. And the nickel is a dime. So bumper. Dimension. Okay, got it. And why is that? Why is it bumper down, by the way? It's a secret. Hold on a second. That's my alarm. Hello? Oh, that's my alarm. It's just my alarm. Yeah, you don't need to say hello to an alarm. No, I don't need to say hello to an alarm? No. What's your alarm for, though? It's a Honda alarm. A hunt. What do you mean by a Honda? Honda, Honda, Honda, Honda. I. It lets me know. I just have to check if my ex. My, my car is parked in front of my ex wife's house. Oh, okay. You have to check if your car is parked. Yes, I want to scare her so I park it right in front of the house. Okay. All right. Is it there? It's there right now. Okay. It's currently there, yes. Okay, so is she scared? Yes, I just do a find my iPhone and it's in there. Oh, great. Okay, Got it. Yes. Anyway, wonderful. All right. Oh yeah, I'm a funeral director. You know, I have a ton of jobs. Oh, yeah. Hello. Yes, hi. Yes, I have a problem. Yes. So listen, I have a problem with your grandfather's body. Yeah, here's the problem. He was a very tall man, so I couldn't fit him in the casket. Right. Well, I had two choices. I could bend his legs or I could bend his head. Well, I bent his head. I put a rod right against his nose and I bent his forehead right against his chin. And then it looked. Here's the problem. It looked like a purse after that. And you know, I couldn't help myself, so I put coins in it. Yes. Anyway, listen, I'd like to offer you and your family 15% off on any casket for any women who die in the next five months. Okay, well, thank you. See you on Tuesday. Byebye. What's happening Tuesday? Everything's happening. Oh, everything. I plan everything on Tuesdays. Oh, got it. Yes. Yeah, it's a good day to do it all. It's a good day. Cuz then if you finish, you're free for the rest of the week. I'm free for the rest of the week. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Do you do stuff? Do I do stuff? Yes, I do. What kind of stuff do you do? I do this podcast occasionally. What are you doing for the Christmas holidays? Oh, you know, I'm probably sticking around here. Hold on a second. That's, you know, Bruba. Oh, Bruba. Yeah. Bruba's not supposed to tok. Yes, Hello, Bruba, Hello. Hello, Bruba, Hello? Yes, hello, Bruba, Hello? Yes, hi. Are you there? Yes, yes. Okay, Bruba, I have to ask you a question. Yes, okay, can you please set my grandma. Oh, wait a second. Bruba, wait a second. Could you please. Hi, how can I. Okay, you fat. Bruba's my Siri. Yeah, Bruba's personal Sir. I'd like you to set my grandmother's thermostat to 95. Yes. Okay. And I would like you to also turn on her stereo to the highest volume. You. Excuse me. Thank you. And I want you to turn all the lights off in the house. Okay? Sure. Okay, great. And I want you now to play the song Lean Back by Fat Joe for the next six hours. Thank you. Okay. Yes. That's all happening at your house? It's my mother's house. That's your mother? Yeah. I'm trying to scare the out of everyone in my family. Why? Why not? That must be all that's going on with you though, right? No, obviously not. Know why? What else is happening? A couple more things. Well, I can. I can do all sorts of different phone calls here. You want to do phone calls? I have to call. I have to. Oh, you're calling. I'm actually calling. Oh, no. Yes. They're all happening at the same time. I told you. I celebrate Hanukkah too. That's right. Yeah. Yes. Well, hold on. I'm. I'm planning the Hanukkah parade. Oh, what do you got? Yes. Hello. Hi. Okay, well, listen, I really wanted to plan this Hanukkah parade, but there's slim pickings out there. Okay? Okay. So here's what I got. I got the Jewish brothers. They're just like the Jonas Brothers, but they're all weak and sick. I got a pastrami float with red pastrami on it. I got the mayor of Long island coming. Yes. Huh. And then I have some guy named Diddle Shiddle coming. I don't know what the fuck that means. I'm so sorry. Uh huh. And I got Roseanne Barr's cousin, Suki Bar. Yes. She's very violent. And I've got a wet broken shofar in a bag, if that's okay. Yes. And I got Pauly Shore, and he's gonna be Pauly Schnor. Yeah. He'll be sneezing there. Yes. Huh. And I somehow got Paul Simon, who's agreed to kiss a dead white fish. Okay, I'll see you Tuesday. Bye. Bye. Wait, you're gonna fit that person in Tuesday? Yes. Yes. Is this a polyamorous situation? With who? You and me? Well, no, no, no. You're too busy to me. I always feel like you're flirting with me. No, I don't think so. Now. Okay. Okay. Number six. Hey, good to hear Drew on the countdown. Hey. Fonzie Style. I live over the garage. Open Fonzie Style. Open Fonzie Style. Hey, I'm open. Computer open. Fonzie style. Fun stuff. It's always fun stuff. I think that was one where I had to leave before the end, which I very rarely do. Yeah, I think. I think we did it in. That was one of those weird ones where suddenly everyone left along with you and. And I was like, there's only one more segment. But that's what happens when body starts laughing. From doing the wild thing. Yeah, from doing the wild thing. But that was a fun episode. And great clips. The big group ones are always fun. It's always great to see everybody. There's a real joy in the room. Like, everybody's really tickled by each other and. And we are tickling each other the entire time. That's. No, I meant it literally. Yeah. Everyone's tickled by each other. Yeah. And it's torture. Tickling is torture. Oh, yeah. Anyway, that was great. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna crack the top five. Yeah, we just cracked the top six. And now we're gonna crack another top htb. Wow. Incredible. Plus, you're not gonna ask me what that means. Hate to be. No. Hard to believe. Hard to believe. Yeah. We're also going to be cracking the top two when it comes to Don Cheadle clips in Ocean's 11. And top two when it comes to regarding Henry factoids. That's right. This is exciting. Plus, the part three of the Snowman game. We're gonna have so much more to come. So many parts. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang. Best of 2024 Part 3. After this, get the most anticipated new releases with a Disney Hulu Max bundle up for an adventure always on Max. The HBO original the White Lotus Returns. What is this place? Explore the Marvel Universe with what if on Disney Avenger Assemble. And on Hulu, read between the lies on Paradise. You were the last to see the president alive. Plus, so much more. Here we go. It's the ultimate bundle for an unbelievable price with plants to UN. Get 16.99amonth. Terms apply. Visit Disney plush Hulu Max bundle.com for details. This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs. Oh, boy. We're having entrepreneurs back on the show and they are going to use it. It helps entrepreneurs stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell Anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. 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Netcredit is here to say yes because you're more than a credit score. Apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner banks and service by NetCredit applications subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners. NetCredit Credit to the people Comedy Bang bang best of 2024 part three. You know it, baby. And do you think my life would be different if this is how I talked? Yeah. I wouldn't know you. Why? I couldn't stand to be around you. Really? Yeah. My voice is so. I hate it right now. I want you to stop. So I wouldn't. I would. It sort of implies something, doesn't it? If someone talks like that? When you hear someone. Well, what does it imply? When you hear someone talk with like the radio voice. Yeah. In real life. Yeah. What does that imply? Like that they work on the radio. Oh yeah. I guess. So how did that get started? And now I understand why you wouldn't want to be around them. Yeah, yeah. I. I guess it's like you had your broadcaster voice. This is me being neutral and telling you the news in an authoritative sounding way. Then there's a way to talk. Morphing technology, that. Morphing technology. Then I think when it was like FM radio, it was like we got smooth sounds coming at you. You had to have a Smooth sounding voice. People's hi fi systems were better. You heard more bass. Yeah, no trouble. No, it's all about the bass. You know that she and her husband have side by side toilets in their bathroom? I don't like that. I don't like it at all. Maybe her butt's so big she needs two. You know what? Now I like it. Oh, well, guys, we're having fun. This is what podcasting is all about. And it's exciting. Paul, we're going to crack the top five. I've. I don't believe we've cracked the top five this year yet. So. To do it right now. No, we. Are you kidding me? All year long, we haven't cracked the top five. I don't think we've cracked the top five to date in this calendar year. Well, we better do it then. We better do it right now. Let's do it. Let's get to your episode number five. Number five. All right. This is episode five. This is. I mean, this is. This is the good stuff. Yeah. I mean, now it gets good. Yeah, now it gets good. We were. I mean, I'm five. I get why people like those other episodes. I get. I get it. But I don't have to like it. But I get really. Now we're talking to the connoisseurs, people who know top five. I mean, there's a reason Chris Rock called his movie top five. Yeah. And no one knows why. No. But there's a reason we. If you know Chris, if you're listening, please write to us and tell us. Yeah, it's indecipherable. And watch what you say. You might get slapped otherwise. You think Will Smith is the only guy who's going to do that to you? Precedent has been set. This is very exciting. We have our number five episode, and it's episode 853. This is exciting because this is in the middle of the 800s. Yep. From March 4th of this year. And we almost. March 4th. Yes. March 4th. In Unto Death. Yep. You. You're reading my mind. We almost march forth unto death. This is an episode called the Calvin's Triplets Court case. I feel like I know who's in this one. Do you list off who might be in this? Yeah, I think that's in it. Okay, sure. And also, of course, you can forget if you know the Calvin striplets, you know that Taran Killam, who we talked about earlier on our last episode is plays Bever Hopox. You know this. You know Paul Britton plays Chico Hands. You know that and, you know, Ryan Gull plays Bisby St. Hancock, collectively known as the Calvin Striplets. But this is an interesting one because Jason Mandukas is also on this episode. It's never happened before. Here's how this came about, because normally all of the Calvins. First it was the Calvins twins, where it was just Taryn and Paul and I. And then they love Ryan and said, hey, can Ryan be part of it? And he became. First he was an honorary Calvin's, and then I think he actually ended up being related to them. He's a Calvin's triplet, but it's only just been me and those two or three comedians doing all of these. And these episodes, by the way, started over a decade ago. Christ. Paul and Taryn came in to do an episode together and they said, what do you want to do? And I think Paul Britton said, like, oh, I had an idea of people who were promoters for horse fights. And Taran said, great. And then that's all that was discussed. And that first episode is very, very funny. It's all about horse fighting and just spawned all of these sequels. I think this is maybe the eighth one or something like this. We try to do one every year, every couple of years. They're very funny. But Jason has never done any of these. And the way this came about is much like the Halloween episode. I had Jason scheduled for a show, and then I was looking for people to be on with us and finally got Taryn. And then I said, like, oh, you know what? I wonder if Paul and Ryan are also available. And this is again, like 12 hours before. This is exactly what you described as happening with the Halloween updates. They both happened to be available, and we said, let's just do a Calvin's thing and we'll have Jason there. This is wild. It was crazy. This is picking up on threads from the last Calvin's Triplets episode where we meet their rivals, the Baxter FKA Decker Triplets. You'll hear a little bit of that in here, but this is a very funny episode. So let's hear it. This is your choice for episode number five. Number five. Please welcome him back. Jason Mantzoukas is here. Thrilled. Thrilled to be here. Thrilled to have you, Jason. And we do need to get to our. Our guests. I would love to show. Is that all right? I guess. Now, please. Now? Yes, immediately. Let's get to them. What do you say? Scott, I am literally begging. Have you ever met these gentlemen before? I don't think I have. Okay, well. Or if I have it was in some sort of cacophonous scenario where there was maybe a dozen people crammed into a room. Yeah, possibly. They are the. Look, I've said it before. They're not only the owners, they are the proprietors of a wonderful business out there. It's franchised in California and Florida. They have two locations. They are, of course, the owners and proprietors of the Calvin's Family Bee Honey Taffy Farm and Horse Fighting Ranch. They've been on this show now for, God, I want to say, a good 10 years, at least a decade. I'm gonna look up their first appearance. It's incredible to have them back. They have not been on in two years and I think a lot has gone on in the intervening months. But please welcome back to the show Bever Hopes, Chico Hands and Bisbee St. Hancock, Scotland. My boy, how we doing? Good to see you. Yeah. Yes. Welcome back to the hotel. Scott Lay. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. And this is Jason Mandukas, by the way. I don't know if you've ever met. Huge fan. Oh, enormous fan. Big fan. Jason Nights are Manzoukas nights in I house. Thank you. Wow, it's wonderful to have you guys back on the program. It's been a couple of years. I know you've been embroiled in a lawsuit for a couple of years. We can catch up about that. You own a ranch where Horse fighting, Bee Honey Taffy family gathering. That's right. So horses. You have horse. Well, there's horse fights. That's definitely the core of the business. It is the. It is the international premier professional horse boxing championship. Epicenter to the death. To the death. And you also sell taffy? Of course. And taffy season, by the way, ended in November 1st. Yeah, we did. We extended one of our flavors. Which flavor did you extend? Well, the backstory is we lost one of our favorite horses this year. I'm so sorry. We lost. Lost the fight or Cinna Cinnamon. So Cinna Cinnamon is gone. What happened? Well, so Senna, we wake up that morning. Cinna. Cinna, Senna, Cinnamon. Well, we. We're on a different relationship level with Santa center, Right. And we go out to barn number 30 and. Oh, God, have you ever heard of that? Horses can tear themselves apart. What? Self. Self tearing? Yep. Well, they get to a place where they know it's time and a horse will tear itself apart limb from limb. No tear out. It's all start at the face. You move down. How, how. They can't really bend those. How can they get There explain by like, like physically are there moves? With all due respect, Mr. Manzuka, I really mean this with all due respect. So two due respects at each other right now? Yes. I take your due respect and I put it in my respect. Who has more respect? Respect for the other. That's the. I can't wait to find out. I respect you. I watch you every Sunday night. Oh, Bisbe's in the league, sir. I respect you, your work and your commitment to the natural world. And JM not Barry comes back, I bow to you and I lick your Adidas. Oh no. Oh, I can't believe it. Biff second move. Pulls out the Adidas lick. He's licking. Licking. He's down to two stripes. There was three Adidas stripes. That was down to two. That's not Adidas. Me uncomfortable. I need to bow out. I see no gentleman more respectful than old Bis Bis Sahan. G. I respect anybody. All the way to the bank. Down to the souls of their feet. Anyway. He tore himself apart. He tore himself apart. Had never seen a horse do it like that. That's what time. I'm so sorry. That's what Tennessee Williams is referencing. You're tearing me apart like a horse does. He knows it's time. That was the off Broadway line of dog. Okay. I thought that was the room. It's also tearing me apart. Lisa. Yes, it's also. The room was based on a text. Was it really? Tommy Wiseau really drew a lot of inspiration from Streetcar Name Desire. We know. He's our cousin we've never talked about. Really? That's the most boring part. I, I honestly agree. Strangely enough, he's the one, he's the one that introduced us into coffin sleeping. That's right. You know, when we last saw you guys, it was a couple years back and it was right after taffy season. It was right before Thanksgiving, I believe. And you were in an odd situation because just to catch people up on this, this is the tail end of COVID and people were buying a lot of ivermectin, which is a horse dewormer, which was affecting your business because the worms were so prevalent in your horses that they would escape from the horses, they would turn into giant tremor sized graboids. Worms. And then you, you had seen Chop Bisbee and you were chopping them in half, which then doubled the amount of worms exponentially. And then something really strange happened which is these three triplets, the Baxter FKA Decker triplets bought the surrounding land around your farm, making it inaccessible to anyone coming in other than A small child on a large drone. And you know what? I would love it. Scott, I feel like you're rushing through this. This. Yeah. Could you just go slowly? Could you just really break it down for us? Because I only say this because it's so simple. It's so easy to understand. So simple. Tail is old as time, and people just. It's relatable. They just need to hear it once, and it's just. Boom, it's in there. It's very easy to understand. You have two different horse fighting ranches. One in Florida, one in California. Correct. You wanted to. Tampa. Tampa. You wanted to buy the land in between the two. A thin little strip that's all like a Brazilian. But you wanted to. To connect the two horse fighting, and so you would have the longest horse fighting ranch in existence. That's right. Before you could do this. Who holds that distinction now? Do we know the Baxter half in a Deca triplet? Oh, yeah, because they're in a circle. They're in a horse. Ain't a size circle around you. So that's. So it never ends. So that's technically infinite. Yeah. Circles longer than a straight line. You learn that in geometry class. And when we did our last episode, we got them on the phone because they. They own the Baxter FKA Decker triplets, pig wrestling, and Caramel Country Mart. I hated hearing their voices. Yep. They were on the phone with us, and we left a message for them. But you offered to have a sit down with them, along with Jeff Cohen, the entertainment lawyer. Chunk. He played in Goonies. Great lawyer. So whatever happened with that? Did you do the sit down? Did any of this actually take place? Oh, we did. Oh, yes. Yeah, it happened. It. It was long. Yeah, it took some. That's where we've been. We would have been here sooner. Yeah. You know, because I asked you to come to the next episode. Couldn't do it. Yeah, that's right. Now, so you've been in court this entire time? For over two years. So what. What was the result of it, if I may ask? Is. Is the court case over? Well, I remember that court case very well. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I object. You can't object. No, you can't object. Crazy. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What? That's all you remember from it? Well, Bisbee kept objecting, and he was not permitted to do. It's what made the case take so long. That's right. I remember. The judge came in, sat down. Oh, I remember. I remember. I remember that. All right. All Right. Everybody take your seat. Should be quick. Shut up, Jack. Back down. Yeah. And two years later. Wow. It was open and shut. In whose favor? What? Actually, how did he rule at the end of the two day one truly was open and shut. So thank goodness you were objecting so much. Yeah, well, I had to eventually, though. He just said it turned out ruling in favor of the Baxter, formerly known as the deck. That's what the judge said. Well, do you guys remember I rule in favor of the Baxter. You sound so defeated. Yeah. He knew it was over. I knew I could only. I mean, we were star. They'd bring in Jersey mics. Oh, wow. So, wait, you got free Jersey mics every day? No, no. Pay for it. Yep. The judge made us Venmo him. But yeah, after the fact, which we were like, oh, no. Yeah. Oh. So when he made his ruling, one, we can't afford this, so we'd already eaten it. We've been through two taffy seasons, and we ain't paid taxes on none of it because we've been here in court and we thought the business was over and done for. And that's when the most incredible thing happened. What happened? What? Should we just listen to it? Sure, sure. Please, no more objections. I won't even. I find in favor of the Baxter Decker triplets. Ma'ams. Ma'ams. Ma'ams. We check their pulse. We. We. Oh, okay. Good. Wait, are you a Precog judge? How did you know that? That. Oh, wait, I'm not here. Never mind. Who are you there? Scott. What were you doing? We were so glad you showed up to support us. That was the best thing that happened to us. I came one day and I wanted to be incognito. We don't have money. We didn't win the case. Chunk won't talk to us so much as John sealed shut with Taffy. But at least we have a friend. Scotland. Did you go because you knew there'd be Jersey mics? And you love Jersey Mike? I love any J.M. barry. Jersey Mike's Manzukas. One of your favorite top three mics. That's true. Yeah. Tyson's tattoo number one. Sure, of course. Yeah. Well, what happened then? Well, I think you should remember more than any of us. Guys, sorry I. I'm not here. I just. I wanted to be incognito. Don't let the fact that I'm a famous podcaster interrupt this trial. Anyway. Oh. Oh, my goodness. Is it Scoot? Oh, hi, quida. Yeah. From Mr. Show Candide Tanya. We Win the case. And our hero, Scott Uckerly, comes to wish us well. Scott. Ugly Scott Uckerly and Chunk in one room. Yes, I know it's crazy. Just. But anyway, I don't mean to disrupt the trial, Judge. No, it's over. I have to go home. Wait, you haven't been home this whole time? I object. Oh, I'm sitting back down. Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. That was so interesting, Scott. You've. When we've come back from the flashback, your face is covered in lipstick kisses. Yeah, well, as I'm remembering, I'm. I'm doing what they did to me. Yeah. With my own. With the. My first. It really seemed like those triplets. It's. Yeah, they love me. The. Yeah, the. The Baxter. Yeah, the back. We were unsure of your allegiance there for a moment, Scott. So. So at a certain point, it looked like the. The judge thought they were about to die or were dead. And then they. They were okay. But then they did. So. Are they dead? What? Actually. Oh, I was there. That's right. I'm remembering again. Did you scatter? I need to come and give you more kisses. Oh, no. What happened to Mon Dieu? Oh, no. She is falling for the dead. No. My sisters. My sisters. I've got a Jersey Mike's delivery here. Oh, yeah, that's for me. Holy shit. Jason Moonzookas is here, too. Oh, my God. Is it Sunday? Wait a minute. It is Sunday. Oh, no, he's actually here. He's here in the courtroom and he's got a platter. Yeah, he came back slow. They're dead. Okay, well, good for you. Do you own their. Their farm? We're waiting to find out. Yeah. Who is it in probate? Who they left in it for? Oh, my gosh. So. Oh, I hope there's a reading of the will. There's a reading of the will. Oh, someone's at the door. Oh, don't answer. No, no, do answer. Let him. Wait, let me get the door here. Wait. You're plugged in. You're plugged in. Oh, my God. It's. It's Chunk. Jeff Cone. Jeff. Jeff. He's doing the Truffle shuffle. Here he goes. And he just dropped off a piece of paper. Paper hands. Where you going, Chunk? Come on back. Does he. And he carries that statue with the upside down penis everywhere he goes. Everywhere he goes. Everywhere he goes. Okay, well, let me take a look at this. Take it out of the envelope and let's see. The last will and testament of the Baxter FKA Decker Triplets. It might be good. It might be good. Brothers, I feel like maybe we should hear this will. And to be fair to the podcast audience and all participants, will hand it around the table paragraph by paragraph, as done. Traditionally, the only way to read a will. All right, let's read this. This will. Here we are. The last will and testament of the Baxter FKA Decker triplets. If you are reading this, you are the executor of our will. Whoa. Incredible. Whoa. Wow. I had no idea. That's breaking news. Well, hold on. The sentence is not done. Oh. Even if it's passed around a table. Okay, that was gonna be my question, because you're almost on the horn to read the whole thing by yourself. I really. I want to say you're, by the way, speaker, because you look down at it and then you look up at us and you gather the words and you look back at. That's right. Make eye contact. That's how they teach you in cold reading class. I really. I want to say, by the way, this is Quita talking. Oh, I bet this was dictated. Yeah, well, it says that down at the bottom. Dictated, not ready. Come on, enough of this. Enough dirty mouth talk. Now stop with this guy. I really. I want to say, and this is Quida, by the way, that the times I spent with you in the courtroom for the past two years, Bever, Chico, and Bisby, were the best times of my life. Oh, wow. Okay, now I'm passing it over to Bisbee here. I'll take it over from here. Page two. Do you remember that time in court where the judge asked us all to take a moment and reflect upon what has happened between our two families? Well, I did take some time, and I looked over at you, Bisbee. What? Whoa. God, you're amazing. If I could leave it to just you, I would, but I can't, so I have to. New page. So the last word on the other page was 2, and then this was the second O. It's like a long 2. Okay. I was gonna take issue because I've. But I have to leave it two. And it's like. But what do you two. Wait, no, it's an also. It's also. It's not. I have to leave it as well directly. Yes, I see. I have to leave it to as well as well. I would like to. Regular 102. You're a lawyer, so you're used to parsing language like this. So that's why we're interrupting so much. It's very complicated and dense. But I'll continue Two. But I want to, but I'm not sure if I can because. And by the way, this is Candida talking now. It's switched to another in the middle of a. This is like switching tenses in between. That's right. I remember that day in the courtroom when I looked over at the judge plaintively and I considered what would happen if I stood up right now and said, your Honor, I would like to drop the case. What? Candida was considering dropping the case. Wow. I wonder how Quida felt about this. God, we didn't even find out what Quida was talking about. The other thing. Strange, but, I mean, this is the way they're writing it. Do you want to pass it off now to wait? No, there's a little bit more. If you don't remember the moment I'm talking about, perhaps you could go back in your minds. Diddle doodle, doodle, diddle doodle doodle. It's written. You're becoming hazy. He's disappearing. We're still here. Oh, no. How do we get Chico back? What the. Read the will. Read the will. Okay, okay, okay. And if you do go back, if you don't finish reading this wheel, you will be stuck in another region. Oh, no. Between the past and the present. No. What? Oh, no. By the way, nether regions we shouldn't talk about. These are athletes I can hear the dick jokes from in this dimension. He's stuck in undefined time. Yeah. In the past. Heretofore in this legal document referenced as the behind times or the present time heretofore moving forward in this document. Now, if. If hereunto these Baxter Decks Decker sisters, heretofore known as the party of Sisters, will bequeath all findings and keepers. Heaven forbid some catastrophes effect should happen to them. And they no longer being of sound mind or body, able to execute their estate henceforth unto them will bequeath all said good earthly deeds unto the Calvin's triplets, heretofore known as party of Brothers Said sisters will then transfer all power legally, henceforth, in perpetuity and all known universes to brothers, if only they are able to retrieve Chico from previous behind times. References Regions, page 4. So much on that page. Wow. I wish Chico wasn't stuck in between these two worlds, because that was so hard to understand. And what it does he knows. Like Elise, it does sound like that. Unless we can find a way to bring Chico back. We gotta get him back. The transfer that the validity of this will will forever be in doubt. I'm going after Him. Wait, what? Can you do this? He disappeared. Oh, my God. Bisby, that's you. They're fading in and out. It's so hazy in here. It's so hazy. Are you angry? Is that you? Yeah, it's me. How are you doing? It's a little chilly in here, don't you agree? Come back and get a jacket for him. You're back Here. Do you want my jacket? Can I take that? Yeah. Thank you very much. Sorry. Go. Okay. He's cold. We gotta get back. I've been trying, but. Wait. Are you shitting? There's a toilet over here. I'm not an idiot. I'm in line. Okay, you know what? I want to see how this plays out. Oh, no, you gotta read page five. I'm so sorry. I want to read page five. It's right here in my hand. But I'm so curious to hear what they're up to, especially. I mean, it sounds like they're just waiting, especially now that I know there's a toilet. They're just waiting in line to take turns. Let me know when you're done. All right. There's toilet paper in the cabinet. Page five. Hey, y'all. Tanya here? Oh, I guess Tanya's weighing in in this part of it. This is good. Yeah. We haven't heard from Time being of sound mind and body, and that body be banging. Oh, well, I mean, I saw her and they go. We both got. Oh, it's true. It's so high. On Friday. Yeah. I do hereby swear that any and all lands, property, livestock, buildings, any other effects therein contained therein belong to anyone who resides in the liminal space between time. Okay, so wait, so this means that Chico and I guess now Bisbee, they own the land, but Bever, you don't. Oh, damn. Hey, guys, maybe you should continue to be in between worlds. Which cabinet is it on? The lower right. Lower right. You know what it is? I don't think they can hear us. We can hear them. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah. If you're sitting on the commode on your right. Lower right. Well, how would we even get them the instructions of how to. I don't know. I see there's about 22 more pages to this week. Did you see there's a comedy Bang Bang book is here in the bathroom, too. I might have to use that. Please. All right, look, let me flip through this a little bit. All right, Let me see down here. Okay. End of page 22. Therefore, the only way that you can keep this land and all of the property within is if the third triplet goes into the nether regions, they all hold hands together and recite the sacred poem that they know by heart. And they shall be transported with all the rights herein back to the present day and own the land. Wow. Ever. Wait. What was it? Was it. I don't remember. This is not the time to forget how to dissolve into the past. Wait a minute. I think I know what to do. I just saw Dune 2 the other day. Oh, wow. How was it? I enjoyed it very much. Okay. And I think I'm gonna have to take one of our giant Ivermectum worms. Oh. The grappling also have the power to travel betwixt nether regions. Of course they do. They're force power. And if I ride our super uber Ivermectin worm, I can retrieve my brothers. We can read this poem. Do it ever. I'll be hurry. He's parked outside. He's parked outside. Are you gonna stand up and open the door? Yeah, I think so. To be clear, I was saying the Comedy Bang Bang book for reading material, not toilet paper. It's too late. I'm on paper. Age 16. Oh, my God. It's a giant dune world. Wow. I'm a common. Brothers, he's disappearing. Oh, my God. He went straight into the earth. He's fading into the. Hey. Who's there? It's Bella. Beva's here. Brothers. Brothers. Yeah. I know how to get us back. And I know how all of the Baxter Hyphenate Dexter sisters or if their belongings can belong to us. Take my hand, Take my hand, Take my hand. And we have to recite that poem that we all know by heart. That one about, you know what? Oh, no. Taking place. You know, when. Oh. And if we do it word perfect with no flubs, we will be transferred back into the now and be the owners of all the Baxter Decker triplets property. Sounds easy as pie. Taffy pie. What kind of pie? Taffy pie? Delicious. Making my stomach rumble. All right. You know, I hope they're all holding hands for real. I Hope they are. 1, 2, 3. We, the Calvin's brothers love each other like no others. We skip and play and rattle the day. And every day we do it like that. Sometimes we go, but sometimes we do. Maybe if you visit, we'll do it with you. Oh. Oh. There's a smack in my face. Testing, testing. They did it. Word perfect. Wow. My God. That means we. That means we own everything. Yeah. Why? I think it does. What did it Happen to my book. Oh, there's shit all over it. Sorry. Only the. Only the worst segments. Congratulations. I mean, how does it feel? This is incredible. You're on top. Years worth of struggle now. You know, it only took three French women dying. It's behind you. Can I be honest with you? Sure. I think I'm gonna miss them a little bit. Really? Wait a minute. There's someone coming up, peeking over the hedge. They're coming up to the door. The comedy bang bang hedge. That's right. It's three hooded figures. They're coming, walking to the door. Hello? It's me, Tanya. Tanya. Tanya Baxter. FKA Decker. You're alive. It was all a joke. Hello? Oh, my God. We got. Hello? You stupid. You stupid triplet brothers. We wanted to see your face after you hate. Goddamn son of a. Wow. That's just a dirty trick. We had to take this opportunity to say to your face. Leave a message. This was an answering machine message. Where did they go? Where did they just go? Number five. Yes. Yes. Can I ask a question? Yes, please. If you were to get a blood transfusion from one person, would you then be related to that person? Yes. Right. Because you have the same blood. You have the same blood. Yeah. And that's what they always say. It's like. It's. It's blood. Yeah. Thicker than water. I mean, that's why. That's so people are walking around having siblings. Yeah. Or dads. Or moms. That's right. I. I now have 10 dads. Because you've had 10 blood transfusions. Yeah. Or nine blood transfusions. That's right. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Why? What's wrong with your blood? It's no good in there. Gotta get it out. It sounds like if you've had nine, the problem is with you. Like in. Oh, yeah. Like your veins, maybe. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's something to do with the veins. That's where all the blood is. Right. That's where it goes through. Yeah, yeah. That's the thing is, like, it gets pumped out by the heart. Oh, and then it goes in the veins. Yeah. Then where's it go out? Your fingertips? No, it just kind of like hangs out in there. Like, if I hold my hand down like this, a bunch of blood's gonna get in there. And then you supposedly make more. Where's all the old stuff go? Exactly. They've never figured this out. Do you think we're breathing it out? Probably. I guess there are blood droplets or sweating it. Probably. Yeah. And then vampires are going crazy. In summertime, they're just going vampires hanging around gyms. It smells delicious in here. Jim Croce, Jim Parsons, old Sheldon, Jimboree. Hey, there's something we have to do before we go to a break. Yeah. We have to hear, this is your choice for number two of Don Cheadle in Ocean's eleven. Now, when Scott says, your choice, he's looking at me. Yep, here's my choice. Today's lesson, how to draw out the bluff. That much money this early in the game, I'm saying he's holding nothing better than a pair of face cards. I actually don't think Don Cheadle's in this. I don't believe so either. No, he isn't. You know what? There's a lot of clips from Ocean's 13 or 12. He's in that too, right? Yeah, they're in that. But we said Ocean's eleven clips. Yeah, we did so. But there are a lot of clips of him in interviews talking about Ocean's eleven. Does that count? I think it has to count. We did play him. Yeah. Talking about how people curse him out on the show. Let's just hear this. This is behind the scenes of Ocean's twelve interview. I love it that the second movie is the one that people will just unabashedly walk up to you and go, yeah, I hated that one. That one sucked. So cool. You just said that to my face. Like I'm not what's going on with Don Cheadle out in public that people are being so leave him alone. Leave him alone. We love Don Cheadle trying to live his life. Jesus Christ. God damn Don Cheadle. Come on. Comedy Bang Bang. This is a safe haven for you. How many Oceans films have you made? Yeah, make your own. Make your own ocean. Make it Oceans One where it's just you jack it off. Yeah. And send it to us. All right. Well, that's pretty exciting to be our number two clip. Yeah, it really is. All right, we have to take a break. When we come back, we're gonna be hearing your episode number four. Plus, we're gonna hear some regarding Henry Trivia and the Snowman game. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang. Best of 2024 Part 3 after this. NetCredit is here to say yes to a personal loan or line of credit. When other lenders say no, apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner banks and serviced by NetCredit. Application subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners. NetCredit Credit to the People Building a business may feel like a big jump, but On Deck small business loans can help keep you afloat. With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to $250,000, OnDeck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top rated online small business lender, Ondeck team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtic Bank. On Deck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval. I'm sure you can relate to being in a bad relationship and feeling like there's something better out there. No, I'm not talking about your dating life. I'm talking about your home Internet. Right now with US Cellular, you can get fast home Internet for just $39.99 a month when bundled with a wireless plan. And it comes with a three year price lock guarantee so you don't have to worry about it changing on you after the honeymoon phase. So break up with your old expensive cable Internet and get us cellular make the switch today. Terms apply. Visit uscellular.com for details. Comedy Bang Bang Best of 2024 Part 3. You demanded it. You. This is on demand, by the way. Yeah, we weren't going to do this and then no one fan demanded we do it. And so this person said, I demand that you do it. And then just stared at us until we broke eye contact. Yeah. And that's when we knew we had lost. We were Betas at that point. Yeah, but I identify as beta. I don't care. I'll tell everybody. Yeah, I'm a beta. Yeah. I long for an alpha male to be in charge of me. What's the third way? Because it goes alpha, then beta. Then what's gamma? Is gamma next in the Alphabet? I don't know if it's next in the Alphabet. I do think it's next in the males. The Alphabet of males. What is it? The Greek Alphabet. And then a sigma higher than an alpha. I'm a sigma. Totally. Gamma is next. I did it. Then delta, delta. Dawn, what's that flower in your pail? You have done an epic fail. An epsilon, zeta, ada, theta, iota, kappa, lambda, mu, nu, G, omicron. Do you think that there's a Catherine Epsilon Jones? Yeah. Goes through the whole Alphabet. Yeah. Michael Douglas. I had to pull his name. It's been a long time since I've had to think about Michael Douglas. Used to think about him all the time. Did you see him in Franklin? I didn't, but I tell you where I did see him. Yeah. At my hotel, Costa Rica. And you thought at the buffet. He should be at a nicer hotel. I mean, it was fine. I think there was a lot for the kids to do. Oh, sure. This was not like one of the nicest hotels I've ever seen. It was in Costa Rica. How old are his kids? I think they were pretty young. Wow. But it was like a hotel where you could like surf. He must also have adult children from some previous marriage. I hope so. Or hookup. I hope anyone does. If you are an actor of a certain age. I hope you have children from a previous marriage. And that's my holiday wish for you. This is exciting. We're gonna get to what you've chosen to be number four. But first, Paul has something that he wants to let us know. Indeed I do. Harrison Ford met with a real life lawyer who had experienced a similar brain injury and personality shift after a car accident, which helped him develop the character of Henry. Wait a minute. So this, this thing that is so unique it could become the premise of the of a movie. Yeah. Just happened to another lawyer and they didn't base it on this guy? Supposedly. Well, here's the thing. When you ask is regarding Henry realistic as other users have done? You're going to be told compared to the real life experiences of gunshot victims like James Brady, Henry's experiences belong in a sitcom. All of the stages of his over his recovery correspond neatly to the requirements of the plot. So says RogerEbert.com so all the things that happens happen the way that they happened. Come on. I also have a great answer for you. This is a follow up from previous behind the scenes factoids or facts. I mean factoids. You know what factoid means? What does it mean? It's a thing that sounds like it's true, but it's not. Oh really? Now it's come to sort of mean like little facts. Little facts? Yeah. Oh, well, people ask who is Linda in regarding Henry? Yeah. Who is. You know what? Rebecca Miller is the answer. Great. I have a follow up to this. Who is Rebecca Miller? We don't know that, but I know who Rebecca Miller is. She's a. She's an accomplished actress. Okay. Yeah. So you're smarter than me. Great. Yeah. If I know that I'm smarter than you, what else could you possibly know. Who else would know? Did you. Mike, did you know Michael Haley played the court clerk in Regarding Henry? I don't know either of those people. Great. I gotta throw Regarding Henry back on. I haven't seen it since opening night. I've. I don't think I've ever seen this movie. I've seen. Honestly. It's one of the. It's. It's one of those things that was like. Remember when people would just go to a movie because it had someone you liked in it and it was a slightly interesting. Yes. And it would just be a drama. Nothing exciting would happen in it. Yeah. It would just be purely like a bunch of scenes of people going like, I'm mad at you or whatever. And people would go like, yeah, I'm gonna spend money to go see. Absolutely. Now something has to have a robot in it. Yeah. What if a robot got shot in the head and became nice? I think this is a good idea for a movie. What if that happened in Westworld? They all get shot in the head and become nice. That is kind of Terminator 2 Judgment Day, which also used couple morphine technology. Yeah. Why did he become nice? Because the other robot was so mean and he was like. He was like, hey, this guy. This is a good cop, bad cop. Good Terminator, Bad Terminator. This robot takes it too far. I know. I'm an. But this guy takes it to another level. It's like. It's like the GOP. I'm an FT3 thousander. All right, now that we have regarding Henry. Facts out of the way. We have Don Cheadle clip out of the way. That's right. We have to get to it. This is our final clip of this episode. This is your choice for number four. Number four. All right. Number four. We're getting so high up in the countdown. We really are. And I'm getting high as a kite, my friend, because I'm going to marry hours where it's cold as hell. Yep. And I have packed my bags. I'm pre flight and Zero hour is 9:00am okay. All right. Good to know. These are good facts. Yeah. Factoids, rather. This is episode number 887. Wow. It's from October 21st of this year. 2024. So one day after the 20th. Yeah. Day before the 22nd. Okay. Okay. And this is an episode called Bitty Bitty Bugle Boy Bumblebee. Bitty bitty Bugle boy. Bumbly bee Bumbala bumbly. Sorry. Bumbly bee, Bumbly bee. Now this sounds familiar to me. This should Sound familiar? Because, Paul, would it surprise you to learn that you are in this episode? Scott, it would not. What a title like that. I think I'm gonna remember. I think you'd remember being in this episode. Now this. The other people we have the return of. Vic Michaelis is in this. That's right. But we also have the return of Christian Brune. Brun. But guess who's in this one. Can I say. Go ahead. Tatiana Mace Lanai. That's right. She made it. She made it. Okay, so let's. She was shamed and blamed. She was. She was named shamed and blamed. And then she had no choice but to come back the following week to clear her name. So this is what happened. We've heard earlier in our countdown the previous week's episode where she, about 45 minutes before the episode, text me to say, hey, I'm not showing up because I have a sinus. I think it was a sinus infection. And I put her on blast. And I. I am not one to talk about our guests, but being as this was the fourth time I think she's done this, I had to bring it up. And I said, this is the fourth time she's done this to me. She left you no choice. She left me no choice. We talked about it. We put her on blast publicly. Meanwhile, we all finish that episode. We all go home. Our respective homes. Our respective homes. We're not sharing a home. We don't go into each other's homes to, you know, continue the party. I mean, we do have one big house that has separate doors that we all use. Yeah, but. Separate doors. Yeah. It's almost like having different houses. Yeah, but at approximately 6pm we end at. We end the show at 4 or so. At approximately 6pm, t texts me and says, how'd it go? Sorry, I can't be there. Or something to that effect. Some horseshit. Like that. Some horseshit. And I say, I put you the on blast. And I talked about how you're always canceling episodes right before they happen. She said, I do. And then she got on a text chain with, I think, Christian, you and me, and apologized for it. And then I think we said, well, why don't we do a makeup episode? She offered to do. I think she offered. She offered to do a makeup episode. Yeah. Yeah. And we said, well, it should be the next week's episode. Absolutely. With the exact same people. Yes. And so we got a hold of Vic, and Vic was available as well. And so we decided to do the exact same people. But With Tatiana. That's right. And that's exactly what happened now. So there was some discussion. I think you came in thinking you were going to be the same characters. Yes, I did. So you were. You were ready to be Bing Lujo. Yes. Vic didn't realize that was going to be part of it. I guess I just thought it was understood that everyone would be the same characters. I thought so too. When Vic heard this idea, they said, like, Vic had a very scared expression. To be fair, Vic. Vic kind of went back and forth and said. And said, oh, okay, sure, I'll do. And then at a certain point was like, no, I really want to do what I had planned. So then you switched and played Dr. Bill Blondie. Your Dr. Bill Blondie, whom you debuted on tour as. This is based on my recent experiences with a doctor I had. So this is the second appearance, but the first on Comedy Bang Bang Proper. Correct. And so you're going to hear. You're going to hear a couple clips. We're going to first talk to Tat and Christian, and then we're going to hear a discussion between Dr. Blondie and I. And then Vic plays Marvel executive Lucy Brockenheimer. That's right. So let's hear all of this and we'll talk about it after this. This is your choice for episode four. Number four. They both met on the set of a show called Orphan Black many years ago. Both. Both. She went on to acclaim winning the Emmy award, becoming part of the HBO private detective verse as well as the mcu. He went on to portray Constable Johnstable. She ended up canceling last week's show at the last minute. He did not showed up, but she said, I want to make good on this. Put me back in coach. Stars are back. Oh, come on. God damn it. Please welcome back to the show Tatiana Maslany and Christian Brune. Hello. Thrilling, thrilling, thrilling. We are gathered here today because Tat, you texted me after you unceremoniously backed out of doing the show, dumped you last week and that's about the fourth time time you've done that. Huh, huh? Huh? Is that true? I remember a recent one where the Threedom gang had to be the A block guests because you backed out of the last. Why did I back? Oh, because I had a nose infection. A nose or an ear infection? I had some kind of infection. But hey, here's the thing. I just got a procedure done where they go in with a little rod into your nose and they crack open all the cartilage audibly. And now supposedly I'm gonna be okay forever. Forever. You're never gonna die. Are you sure they're not gonna make you a mummy? Oh, that's the other option. Either that. Hey, Shimmy. Hey. That's what they do. Yeah. They take everything out with forceps. Through the nose, right up your nose, drag it all out. Yeah. It's crazy. Are you in? Okay. Oh, God. Mummies. Although very timely for Halloween. Yeah. Rest in peace. I wonder what Shimmy's gonna be for Halloween. God forgot to ask him. Well, we'll just see if he comes back. Rest in peace to all. Shimmy. What are you gonna be for Halloween? I'm gonna be a record album. Okay, thanks. Bye. You gotta go. Wait, do you know this Canadian record album? Do you know this Shimmy or you. You're Canadian, right? You. You remember. No one ever asked me before. Wow. I. I see it with Canadian. I'm from Sudbury. Oh, my God. From Sudbury. The biggest place of filming in this. In the country. Hey, the record on Size Small island that used to play spoons at the end of the show. Yeah. What is Size Small Island? You didn't have. You don't have Size Small Island. It was a Canadian classic. Is it a kids show? Yeah. Let's sing it together. It's a size small island. It's a size small island. Everybody gather round. Here's where you can be who you like. See who you like and be who you like. You can be anyone who you like. A size small island. Goodbye. More theme songs just should end with goodbye. Gotta go. Oh, okay. This is the longest you've ever stick around. Oh, he's gone. We did want to bring up a little hanging thread from last week's show. We talked about the now defunct band Franklin's Fault. Oh, fuck. And we dug up some tape. Here, take it back to Disco tv. The understudy trumpet has taken. Taking the mic. This is from 2011. Oh, my God. No. I'm sweating. This is Mr. Next in line by Franklin's Fault. Oh, my God, there's that trumpet. Oh, my God. Yeah. You son of a. You're wearing a purple jacket, which I love. Look, it's a live show. The sound isn't perfect. Oh, my God. Pretty good. I love it. I'm sweating a lot. It's pretty good. It is. By the way, it's not a demo or anything. This is a live. That was a live. A camera far away from a live performance. Oh, my God. I can't believe. What were the lyrics again? I'm not exactly the man of your Dreams. But girl, I'm always around and. And you know, if it wasn't for him, you and I'd be getting down. Christian. Yeah. So is that how relationships work? Is that just like whoever Mr. Next in line is, like, there's a. I did not write these lyrics. Oh, really? Who? I did not write these lyrics. Dan Banger McKay wrote these lyrics. So you want to blame it all on him? Yes. Wait, did you have a middle name for the band too? No, that was his nickname because he played the bass drum in a pipe band. Like a Scottish style pipe band. Now, I wanted to say that there is one comment on this video on the YouTube page. It just says Constable Johnstable. The video was uploaded 13 years ago. That comment was made yesterday. Well, we need to get to our next guest. He is the owner of a malt shop. Please welcome Bill Blondie. Hey there, Scott. How you doing? Oh, hey, Dr. Blondie. Yeah, sorry. Dr. Blondie is my personal physician. He was on. You came on to one of our. Whoa, whoa. Shut up. Oh, Chris Brune? Yeah. From Franklin's Fault? Yeah. Oh my God. You're a Franklin's Fault fan? Look at my tattoo too. It's this. It's the logo of Franklin's Fault. Oh my God. It's a guy walking across the cage. Yeah. I love Mr. Next to mine. Oh my God. Thanks, doc. I just watched you the other day left a cops a comment on this. Oh, oh, wait, that was you relieving the constable Johnson comment. Is that how it turned out? What did you want? I was. I woke up in the middle of the night and left that comment. Oh, wait. It was supposed to say, love these guys. I have big news. A second comment has popped up. Oh. It says, is this a Franklin's Promise cover band? Who's. What's Franklin's problem? That was what I thought the band was. How's your foot? Still fucked up. It's okay. It's okay. I mean, sorry. He's my personal physician. He's been treating me for various ailments over the years. Mostly that foot. Mostly the foot. You did surgery on it recently. Fun. I don't like to hear that. It was fun. What were you miserable? What did you enjoy about great time? I love cutting open feet. Okay. I love looking inside there. Wow. I didn't know that things you learned in. Yes, I'm a doctor. Why are you sighing so heavily? There's also. I'm bored. Get the out of here. Anyway, I didn't want you on the show. I want Bing Lujo. Who? I don't know who that is. Bing Lojo is a guy he owns. Tell me three things about him. Okay. He owns a malt shop up right. Oh, boy, he loves the Music Man. Oh, yeah. We. Yeah. What's your opinion on the Music Man? I wanted to ask you. Okay, here's the thing about the Music Man. It's funny because I was watching some clips. Music man, here's the scam, okay? Harold Hill comes to town and he says, hey, there's a pool table. That's bad news. You gotta get the kids involved in wholesome activity. How about a boys band? I'm on board so far. This is. I come from the Gary, Indiana Conservatory of Music. Here's what you do. Buy a bunch of instruments, buy a bunch of uniforms. I teach the kids how to play music. Now he doesn't know about music. Yeah, this guy doesn't know about dick. He doesn't know jack about big dick. So he pretends to teach the kids music using the Think System. What he says is the patented Think System method where it's. I don't need to teach you any notes. You just. Just think about the music and it'll come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, first the instruments arrive. He's got his little buddy on the Wells Fargo wagon, which is coming down the street. That's right. And he said his little buddy says to him, hey, the instruments are here. And he's like, great, phase one complete. Then a little bit later, as far as I'm concerned, by the way, the instruments are, are very expensive. So the fact that he bought these, that's part of the con that makes him realistic. Here's the thing, we don't know. Who did he get money for these instruments? We have no idea. Yes, yes. Hold on a sec. I'm telling you, I just reacquainted myself with the story. No, he is paid for three things. He's paid for his services as an instructor, that's it. And then no. And then he also says they're going to need to buy instruments. So give me this amount of money for the instruments. And we also need to have uniforms. Give me this amount of money for the uniforms. He buys the instruments. He buys the uniforms. He absconds with the bigger sum, which is the payment for his services as a music teacher. I don't think he gets paid for the uniforms or the instruments. You think they just arrive? They just buy them? The parents just buy them? He doesn't have instruments to sell. They just buy this shit. Here's here's where I differ on this because. And admittedly, it's been a while since I've seen in the movie. Right, great. But in my recollection of. Your recollection. Right. They are just. Which is not as fresh as mine. You said you'd only watched clips. And I read the synopsis. You read the synopsis? Yeah. Watch the movie maybe, and then we can have a conversation about this. I, I. Look, I don't know if you're in the habit of arguing about the Music man all the time. It's not a habit. Strangely, you happened me twice. Way out of line. Here's my recollection and see if this, See if, see if this. Okay. Rings a bell. All right, give it a shot. Frankly, get a load of this. About halfway through the movie. This is the point where they are. Tatooine, you listening? Oh, I love this. They are suspicious of Harold Hill's intentions. They think he might just be a con man. They have seen neither hide nor hair of any evidence that he is an actual music credentials. He says, no, no, no. I am a music teacher. They are just. This is all the. I already know. Let me get to the part you don't know. Do it. Which is. That's what I'm saying. Which is, just as they are about to arrest him, the instruments show up. You've. You've skipped over. What have I skipped over? A whole. First of all, they, the instruments don't show up just as they're about to arrest him. I'm. You're talking about the end of the movie. I'm talking about the middle of the movie. So they're just about to arrest him in the middle of the movie. Yes. No, they're not. Yes, they are. No, they're not. They're at least getting suspicious because that's a, that's a bit different than getting arrested. There is not that daylight between suspicion and being rested. Honey, honey, rest your mouth. They are, they are suspicious of him throughout. Yes. And at the point where they are about to say, like, maybe we should arrest this guy, the instruments show up. No, because part of the con man's duties. False. Are to make part of it come true. Yeah. That's people. So that people buy into the con more completely. That's true. But the rest of what you said is false. I don't think so. They're not about to arrest him at any point until they do. But they certainly are very suspicious. And then the, the instruments show up and they go, well, maybe he knows what he's doing. Doing. Okay, can I continue? Well, if you're just going to continue and continue and continue with your ludicrous claims, then I don't know that I want to. I want to listen to them. All right. See if you can. See if you can just open your mind a little bit and shut your mouth. The instruments show up. He's like, great. Everything's going according to plan. They continue to be suspicious. He continues to fall in love with the librarian, who is a music teacher, by the way. Mary. She's been who and who better to teach these kids music? You. One would wonder, why don't they just say, well, why doesn't this lady do it? Because he has this, this. So this fake pedigree, right? From the Conservatory of Gary, Indiana. Supposedly a doctor, professor. Same thing. As far as I'm concerned. It's not. Oh, oh, okay. I'm glad to continue. Hey, you. I'm a doctor. Get back to the music man. So then he's falling in love with this lady. This lady, she knows all about this. That he's a phony because Gary, Indiana wasn't. He said he was made a professor. Gary, Indiana, in 1905. Gary, Indiana, was actually not a city until 1906. She conceals this information because she likes this guy. She likes this guy. This is the thing she's letting warm for his form. Her sexual attraction gets in the way. She wants to get in the sh. Responsibility. She likes it in the shade. Her civic responsibility. She likes it in the hair. She's a freak. She likes it. We're on the same page, by the way. Yeah, man. This lady is a fucking freak. Who loves me in the librarian is a fucking freak. She likes it in the sheets. So. So. Have you ever seen the music movie? I, I was in the Music Man. You were. Am I correct about the middle part where you play Winthrop? I played Amarillas, by the way, Dr. Blondie. I am saying that the parents bought the instruments. I'm just saying that Harold Hill was the middleman. Yeah, I know, and I wish you'd stop saying it. In any case, I'm glad that I'm right about the Music Man. You're not. You're wrong. I'm not wrong. You're medically wrong about it. I, I, I'm, I, I'm a doctor. You're medically wrong. You're not medically wrong. I would venture to say that even if it is not explicitly mentioned in the, in the text of the Music man, that one can just extrapolate. Oh, yes. These people don't know how to order music. Can I tell you to shut up for a second? He would be the person that they would go through. What if they know about the Wells Fargo wagon? They gotta know about catalogs. And everyone knew what, the Wells Fargo wagon? Yeah, that's why banks are still called Wells Fargo. It's famous. Wait, so you think they. The townspeople are under the impression Wells Fargo Wagon just shows up and brings things? Yes, but they have no idea how they got on the wagon. Yeah, everyone is excited when the Wells. Listen to yourself. Listen to yourself. So this is what you resort to when you're filming with your dumb foot. So when the Wells Fargo wagon approaches, no one knows what's on it. It could be something for someone who has no relation. Something special just for me? Yes, These are the lyrics. And who says this? Everybody. The town. No, no, no. Who says, maybe it's bringing something special just for me? Sorry, Something special? Yeah, just for. And who is that? That, says Winthrop. A dumb child who has no idea about commerce. You think everyone back in the early 1900s knew that there wasn't order tracking? Okay, with the Wells Fargoing? No, no, I want you to stay. I want you to stay there. There wasn't tracking of any shipments. No one knew when stuff would arrive. You'd send a letter and maybe, maybe it would get there months from then. Was it the Wild West? It was akin to it. They're not that far away from the Wild West. Hold on a second. But they knew. They, they, they didn't know, like, oh, on March 13, our instruments are going to arrive. How? How do you know they didn't know that? Because I'm not a dumb idiot. How do you know that? In the catalog. The old timey catalog where you could buy a bathtub and you could buy, you know, hair grease that they don't buy a house sometimes. Guaranteed delivery by. Blah, blah, blah. Sure. Guarantee. Guaranteed by somebody. You would hope it would arrive by them, but you don't know the exact date. And then you wouldn't even know when the Wells Fargo wagon would come. Can I say something, baby? You're making it sound like. Don't call me baby, all right? I'm not your baby. I'm not your honey, I'm not your child. I'm a man. Let me tell you something sweet. My sweet, sweet boy. Not a boy. You're my sweet boy. I'm a grown up. You're my sweet boy. He's holding him in his arms. I love you. You love me, doctor Because I get attached all my face. You're attached to me. I love them. I think about you all the time. Think about your stupid foot. And just because your foot is stupid doesn't mean you're not good. Thank you, doctor. You're a good person. Thank you so much. That's. I love you. And listen, I gotta tell you. Yeah. That you're wrong about the music. I'm not wrong about the music, man. That is the one thing I'm not wrong about. It's time for you. Oh, okay. Good, good, good. Okay, hold on, hold on. I'm not ready. Oh, you're not ready? Okay. No, I am. Go, go, go. Okay. She works in the entertainment industry. She works at Marvel headquarters. Please welcome Lucy Brockheimer. Scott Aukerman. What is up? Scott Aukerman. Mr. Aukerman. Aukerman. What is going on in Marvel these days? Ugh. So much. We need money. We need money so bad. What do you have planned in the Marvel Universe? Let me open my little book. Oh, boy. So this is like the plans of the future mcu. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just. Oh, incredible. So just a little peek, but don't look. Okay, here we go. Are you ready? I'm ready. Are you guys ready? I give you my enthusiastic consent. The Thunderbolts. Yeah, we know that movie that's coming out next year. Yeah. So here's what we're doing. The lightning claps. So in addition to the Thunderbolts. Yeah. So the Thunderbolts, they're all really young, right? Not really. It's not like the Teen Titans are all, like, built. They're really young. I don't know who's really young. Baby's day out. Okay, so that one. Let's call that the Thunderbolts. What's the Thunderbolts? Thunderbolts is villains or characters. It's like their Suicide squad occasionally work on the wrong side of the law who are brought together by the government. Yep. Yeah. So, okay, so this one. But. So this one. They're old is what their thing is. So that one is all villains. This one, they're all so old. And they're heroes. So they're older heroes. Who are you? Okay, you seem to be really nervous right now. Is everything all right? Kevin Feige has my pug. Your Pug? Oh, no. I'm so sorry. He kidnapped your pug? Yeah. He does that. Oh, no. Did he do that to your pug? Why are you whispering? Because he can hear. You're whispering into the microphone. No, no, no. But I'm just like. Cut. This part. Okay, I don't know that I can cut this part. Scott, I need this cut this part. I don't know that I can. But. What's your pug's name? What's your pug's name? Delicious. Delicious the pug. Oh, no. And Kevin Feige stole your pug. He's been bred. So he's like a shelf quality breed. Pug. Was he entered in dog shows? Huh? Why'd you say huh? You heard me, right? I didn't hear you properly. I don't know exactly. One of my headphones. I don't know. Let's all stop whispering. Maybe you just talk normal about your dog. Kevin is gonna hear. Did you enter your dog into dog shows? So many. He does not do very well. But you said he was like, dog show quality. Dog show quality. But he doesn't have the personality for it. So that's not dog show quality. It's dog show quality. And that his parents were both winners of dog shows. He is the quality, but he just doesn't have the star power. Okay, that's like saying like, oh, my parents were Olympians, so I can be the Olympics. No, you have to train. That's exactly what happened with me. Yeah, you. You said you were. Yeah. Why are you whispering about the Olympics? You can talk normally about the Olympics. Not the Olympic president is going to hear this. And he's got head of the ioc. They're very legit. He's got your son. That's what I call my other bug. Oh, okay. I was going to say you should be more concerned with this. Do not call. Do you not call your dogs your kids? What's the other bug's name? Huh? What's the other bug's name? Why? You must have heard him say, what's the other dog's name? Jimmy Chew. C H E W. That's cute. Thank. That is very cute. Anyways, okay, back to normal. So there are plenty of more really, really fun movies on this late, okay? Is it your job to come up with them? Why? Okay, here we go. Give me your next idea. And yes, I'm ready. Stop turning your pages. Orca. The movie about the Jaws ripoff. The comic book villain. Oh, Orca. Orca. What did you think I said? I thought you said Orca, honey. But there's a movie called Orca. There's a movie. So it's Orca Blackfish. You know the movie Blackfish? We just placed it into the documentary. What about Black Hat? Re release? Huh? Black Hat. I don't know what that is. You don't know what it is. Starring Thor himself. Chris Hemsworth. Hemsworth. That's him. Okay. I love that. I don't know what any of this is like. Black Phone. Ethan Hawke. Okay. Black Hawk. Black Phoenix. The Hawk. Black Hawk down. Black Widow. Black Beauty. Horse. Orphan Black Beauty. Horse. Horse. Of course. We're looking for a vehicle for the horse. I think that, I really do think that there's something special there. Super horse. Super horse. Spider horse. Mutant horse. Oh, mutant horse. Member of the Avengers. Horse. X. I kind of Horse. Venger. Double horse. Yes. Okay. I'm loving all of these ideas. If we can. I'm gonna pass around some paperwork. If you just sign that, I want to figure out double horse. Okay. I like the seven. Let's cook on this a little bit. Double. Double horse. Is he double the. The strength of a horse or just two horses? Is it two horsepower? Is it like a tandem motorcycle? Where there's two horses who are a tandem motorcycle? Am I thinking horse with a motorcycle? So there's a horse and then a side car. Tandem motorcycles. Or like the Wells Fargo wagon. They're just together. Two together. Like a tandem bicycle. That would be fun. Well, one person's doing all the motor. Only one person turns the key. I really love that. And I think we got to start as an origin story. Of course. Horse. Horse in a human family. Doesn't know he's adopted. Sort of goes to school. Everybody's like, you're different. You're different. The horse is like, no, I'm not. Has a heart to heart. Sit down with his dad. His dad tossed him a basketball back and forth on the bed. Horse can't catch. He goes. So there's something I got to tell you. Can't catch white horses. Basketball. Back forth on the bed. On the bed. Oh, sheets. No, sheets. Yeah, he's, he loves the sheets. He's a freak for the sheets. Do you think the horse. I don't, I don't have an opinion on the horse. I'm just saying about Dr. Blondie over here. No, I love this. We will buy this. Look. These all sound terrible. I, I, I hate to say that to a guest who comes on the show. I feel like you love saying that to guests that come on the show. How dare you? I think you take pleasure in it, if I'm being honest. You know what? Art is hard, Scott. Making art is really difficult. Thank you. Yes, I am an artist. No, you're not. You're just some dumb person who went to Yale. Would an artist fly all the way to London, only to get the call that they have back to LA immediately hop on the plane, leave their entire family in London. Your family's in London? What are they doing? They were in London, and then Kevin Feige took my pug. Oh. But left your family? No, the pugs are my family. Is he just babysitting your pug for you while you're here? No, no, no. He stole them. I'm giving him money. What, so it's a ransom situation? No, no, no. I'm paying him. Speaking of Ron Howard. You're paying him? He said they could only stay until Thursday. Wait, so you're paying him to take care of your dog? He's, like, dog sitting. Did you leave, like, their crate and their food and stuff like that? I got to see. And he sends me photos. You seem like the weirdo in this situation. He's sending you photos. He's sending you photos that they're okay and they're. He sounds nice. Yeah. Kevin Feige. Yeah. Who stole my pugs? You're saying sounds nice. It sounds like he's just dog sitting for you because he. Who gave you the call that you had to come back to la? My dad. Why? What's going on with your dad? He runs Disney. He runs it. Wait, who's this guy? Bob Iger. Your dad? Yeah. Wait, are you a Nepo baby? Me? Yeah, absolutely. Oh, so you're Bob Iger. Has four letters in it. You're Bob Iger's progeny. And you don't know anything about comics and you think that you're gonna run Marvel. I went to Yale. Who cares? On a football scholarship. I was the kicker. How far could you kick so far? Both of my parents were Olympians. Okay, yeah, but how far could you. Bob Iger was the Olympian. Yeah, he was watching it. Okay, that's not an Olympian. What event was it? Huh? What event? Downhill skiing. He was on the bench for downhill skiing. Meaning he just watched all the skiers, like, the bench at the top of the mountain or at the bottom of the mountain? He was at the bottom of the mountain, said, ticket. And he just had, like, a hot chocolate with him. He was, like, watching the scares. Yeah, that's. Most Olympians don't actually compete. That's a fun fact that they don't tell you. 90% of Olympians aren't competing. 90% of Olympians. They're just, like, understudies. Like, Franklin over here was for the trumpet. Yeah, exactly. Can I just say I love your trumpet work? And I would Love to get you in there. I think there, there's a vehicle. You know, I'm not in. I've never been in the mcu. And you need, you know, like a stunning, handsome actor. Yeah. So why don't you. I love that. We'll call the trumpet if we need that. Well, wait, are you looking for a trumpet player just for like the soundtrack or we. Or is this a superhero who actually see a superhero. I see a Bugle Boy of Bumblebee Bee. What's the. That's how it goes. Number four. All right, all right. So obviously we got into another discussion regarding the music. Yes, yes, we did. This is because after the first one, I went to Wikipedia. I tried to search like how. Like a layout of the scheme. Yeah. And nobody really had a detailed explanation of that. By the way, I should mention in the first episode that we. We played a couple episodes ago, I didn't really know what we were arguing about. I couldn't really follow the argument listening to it. Back on these clips, I now can see the sort of the layout of what you're talking now, knowing what you're talking about, I was kind of like, oh, I see what you. I see what you're saying. Yes. At the time I was kind of like, what are we arguing about? Because I was trying to get to a point that I never got to. But now I see that our disagreement. And by the way, in between these episodes, we also did tour episodes. I don't know. Yeah, we did. We did tour episodes. I think we did that five city stint from Sacramento through. Yeah, that's right. Through Vancouver. Yeah. No, maybe we recorded this and then went on that stint. Yes, that's what happened. Yeah. Where. But people heard those first. Where some of those characters. I kept bringing up the Music man to those characters of yours and we continued talking about it. Or you shut it down. We might have continued. I think I shut it down. I think one. I just agreed with you. But we heard from a lot of people. Yes, we did. At the meet and greets on tour. And what is interesting to me is, is that no one can agree on this. Like I would have thought that it would have been a consistent. Everyone said, oh, by the way, Scott, you're right, or oh, by the way, Paul, you're right. Yeah. Got a lot who are vehemently on each one of our sides, but there is no consensus on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so let's boil down the disagreement to. Because I think also you were misunderstanding me when I was saying that I was Talking about the middle of the film when the Wells Fargo wagon happens. And you thought I was talking about the end of the film. Here, here's the. Here's the disagreement. I believe that part of Harold Hill's con in the Music man is he goes to the parents and he says, I'm a music teacher and I'm gonna start this huge band. Here's what you. You just all need to pay me this sum of money, right? And you're going to get music lessons, you're going to get uniforms, and you're going to get instruments, and there's going to be a huge band. And this is going to put this town on the map, Right? He then, Harold Hill, that is, buys shitty uniforms and he buys instruments. Maybe they're not the best instruments. I don't know. I can't remember that part of the movie. The instruments are all delivered on the Wells Fargo wagon in the middle of the movie, right? When people are getting a little too suspicious and kind of going, like, I think this guy's faking. And then suddenly the instruments show up and they go, all right, maybe he's legit, which is part of the con, but they're not as good as. As what you would normally get. Right. Your point of view is. No, I'll tell my point of view. Okay, yeah, please. My point of view is that the con involves the people paying for uniforms, instruments. That's a side thing they're doing. And lessons. Yes. So do they. Who do. Who do they pay? They are. Aren't you saying that they pay the instrument people themselves? I was saying that it's possible that they could have bought the instruments themselves. And then we started arguing about whether or not it was possible that these people would be able to do that. I mean, I'm. Yes. I'm of the opinion that these are simple country folk. Yeah. Simple country folk who live in a place called River City, and they have river people they live near. I'm not doing this with you. I'm not doing this with you. So the argument really came. Came down to did the. Did the people give him the money to buy the instruments or did they purchase the instruments themselves from a catalog? Right. But I would also contend, now that we're talking about this now. I don't think the instruments show up until the very end. I don't think you ever see them until the very. Until the very end. Here's what I do remember is he's finally let go. This is part of the genius of the music. Man. This is spoilers for Music Man. But Music man is great, by the way. It's great. It's my favorite musical. Yeah, I love it. He's taught them, supposedly under the Think system without instruments, and just said, think about what you're doing and you'll be able to do it. Then they finally arrest Harold Hill and they say, prove that you've been teaching these kids the thing. And the kids all have these instruments and you're thinking, like, oh, this is going to be bad. Well, it's going. Because I've seen this scene recently. It's going badly. They want to tarn feather the sky. Right. Which is gruesome. Yes, by the way. Then the kids show up with their instruments and uniforms, which we don't know. And by the way, the uniforms are not good yet. Because you do see. No, at the very end. At the very end, you see what the. What the. The band becomes. And they have beautiful uniforms and. And they're a huge. Which I don't know if that's technically part of the story or if that's just like the finale of the movie. I think that's part of the story is he's gotten them shitty uniforms that. I think that's part of the story. Right. But I think the very end, where the credits are rolling and they're all. They all look great. You feel like that might be a fantasy or. Yeah. Because, like, how much time has passed that they now can play at this level? But the fact that they're talking about 76 trombones. This is. This. This is a lot of people. Yeah. So it's insane. Anyway. Yeah. The whole thing doesn't. This doesn't make sense. But. No, but. But anyway, they. So wait. So what happens is he thinks he's done for. The kids show up in. In the uniforms with their instruments and Shirley Jones, right. Who, like, believes in him, right. Is like. No, he's. He can do it. She takes the pointer, breaks it in half, gives it to him with the handcuffs. With the handcuffs. And he's saying, think, think, children. Yes. And just praying for his life because he knows he's about to be tarred and feathered, which is so gruesome. They put tar all over your body and you asphyxiate, you die. It's not like, oh, hey, look, he's all funny. No. Your skin gets peeled off. You asphyxiate and die. The feathers are just insult to injury. Yes. But in any case, he. He says, think, children, think. Knowing. He's knowing the minute they start playing, he's Done for. Because none of them know he hasn't taught them. They're gonna murder him. They start playing terribly. Like, you think there's going to be some movie magic where, oh, my God, they did use the thing system. Yes. They start playing terribly. It sounds horrible, but parents love their children so much. They think it's so adorable that they go, that's my Henry. Or whatever. They all love him and they all love the band, even though they sound terrible. And he's like, what? I got away with it. Great, great ends. And then they just believe him and he becomes the. This is what. Originally the what I thought we were arguing is, is it a lie if it comes true? I don't think we ever argued that. Yeah, that was how it started. I've listened to this clip. We just listened. Okay. We definitely moved off of that very quickly. Well, that was how it started. Was I was trying to say, like, is it a lie if it comes true? Like, he. Harold Hill has lied, supposedly. But it came true. So was it a lie? Was it. Is it illegal if a con comes true? True. I think it's still illegal. If you can. If. If the person admits, like, yeah, I was lying about that. So a person should never admit. You know, admit it. If it works out like that. Yeah. Count your blessings. Exactly. If you're a con man and you're traveling by train across the country and then somehow, first of all, get a. Get a pj. Get a private jet. You should get a pj. If you're coming, get a pj. But your scam that you made up. It turns out you do have some magical ability to teach children with no instruments how to play instruments. You should be like, when do the instruments show up? Here's the. And here's what I'm getting. I think the instruments show up at the very end. Here's what I'm getting to. Yeah. Bing. Lujo and Dr. Who is he? Dr. Bill, Blondie and I. Yeah. Need to do a watch along podcast. Yes. Which we talked about at the time. And that's why I've wanted to watch this movie again. But we're not doing it until we can do this. I want to see it again. All right. All this talk of it made me want to watch the whole movie. I know. It's so good. Yeah. So I still don't quite know what we're. Are you think the argument is whether it's possible that the. No, no, no. The argument is. Well, ultimately, the argument is part of the con, is that he's taken Money for the instruments himself. And he's purchased the instruments. And he's purchased the instruments. Yes. That. That was the. That was the crux of our true disagreement. Yes. And then it became. Is it even possible for these people to figure out how to order things? I will perhaps concede. Thank you. That one of the people could have done this. You think the mayor, maybe the mayor. Probably the mayor's wife. Yeah. This is Shin. Yes. You lay Shin. By the way, the Music man was the example that my old weirdo drama teacher gave of, like, commitment to a role. He's like, when we did The Music Man 2 years ago, the people who were cast as the barbershop quartet, they would go from class to class and only respond in. In barbershop quartet. Yeah. That sucks. Sucks. Yeah, that sucks. That. That. Yeah. I hope those guys are in hell. I think they're probably still with us. You weren't that much older than me. Well, I can hope. All right, we have one last piece of business to attend to, and that is part three of the Snowman game. Now, if you've heard our previous two episodes, you know that the first time, the snowman did not look at either of us. The second time, the snowman looked directly at myself. Paul has placed him where? As the loser. The last game, he was allowed to place the snowman in any place. Looking kind of between us. He's splitting us right now. We're trying to change up every time. Trying to change up every time. And oop. Let me turn on the mic so we can hear the snowman. And here we go. This is part three of the Snowman game. I press his little fat hand. Three, two, one. His first spin. Spinning. Now he's back right where he was. I've never seen that happen. And he's spinning again. And he is now looking as far away from us as he possibly could. He's spinning again. This might be the last one. Nope. He's got one more spin coming. Oh. All could have stopped on Paul, then came to me. Could have stopped, but did not. In just. Just past me looking the complete opposite direction of looking right at the bathroom. He loves that bathroom. He loves it. What does he care? Paul, you still have a chance to tie it up. Yeah. And then we'll have to go into ot. Yeah. Where do we carry it over into the next year? Maybe. That has been this episode. This. Yeah. That has been what you just listened to. That's been it. This was Comedy Bang bang. Best of 2024, part three. You. We're gonna see you back here on Thursday when we are gonna have the top three episodes of the year. This is the good stuff. Better be here. This is what you want to hear. This is what you want to hear. Even this like the top. We cracked the top five, top six. Even like this was terrible. When you're talking about the top six versus the top three. There's such a vast difference. Oh my God. There's such a vast difference. Of course. Yeah. This is exciting. We will see you on Thursday. Thanks. Goodbye. 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