Best of 2024 Part 4

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Best of 2024 Part 4 Summary

Release Date: January 2, 2025

Overview

In "Best of 2024 Part 4," Comedy Bang Bang celebrates its 15th anniversary with a whirlwind of memorable moments, spotlighting standout episodes, beloved characters, and engaging interactions among hosts Scott Aukerman, Paul F. Tompkins, Jason Mantzoukas, and Andy Daly. The episode serves as a nostalgic trip down memory lane while showcasing the podcast’s evolution and enduring appeal.

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1. Celebrating 15 Years of Comedy

The episode kicks off with Scott Aukerman announcing the 15th anniversary of Comedy Bang Bang, highlighting its journey from a podcast to a multi-platform franchise, including spin-offs and a television series.

Scott Aukerman [02:14]: "Oh, my God. Hey. Welcome to the best of Comedy Bang Bang 2024 Part 4."

Paul F. Tompkins and Jason Mantzoukas join in, adding to the celebratory mood with playful banter and introductions of recurring characters.

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2. Top Episodes Countdown

A major segment of the episode is dedicated to ranking the top episodes of 2024. Utilizing a robust voting system, the hosts reveal the top three episodes, embellished with humorous commentary and behind-the-scenes insights.

• Number Three: Episode 863 – May 6, 2024

  The hosts reminisce about the 15th-anniversary show featuring a mix of recurring cast members and special guests. They discuss the return of characters like Neptuna (Andy Daly) and Francesca Bolognese (Lily Sullivan), emphasizing how characters have evolved over the years.

  Paul F. Tompkins [02:27]: "This happened a couple weeks after the Wet Day episode..."

• Number Two: Episode 845 – January 15, 2024

  Featuring a guest appearance by Jake Johnson, this episode blends humor with chaotic character interactions. The hosts delve into production anecdotes, including Jake’s involvement in promoting a Spider-Man movie, which intertwines with comedic improvisations.

  Jason Mantzoukas [61:35]: "If I could get some food, I would get a false burger to watch the movie through."

• Number One: Episode 850 – February 12, 2024

  Titled "The Exorcism of Hot Dog," this episode stands out for its supernatural-themed comedy. The segment includes a mock exorcism led by the hosts, blending absurdity with witty dialogue. The appearance of amusing characters like the bronze boogie boarder and the Grizz adds layers to the humorous narrative.

  Scott Aukerman [137:49]: "This is the dead center of the 800s."

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3. Highlighting Memorable Characters

Throughout the episode, the hosts spotlight various characters that have become fan favorites over the years.

• Neptuna (Andy Daly): An underwater character from Atlantis, Neptuna’s return was initially divisive but has since gained popularity.

  Paul F. Tompkins [22:14]: "Original fig as the liquor store owner..."

• Francesca Bolognese (Lily Sullivan): A social media expert whose interactions with other characters provide comedic relief.

  Andy Daly [30:22]: "My tip is go kill yourself."
  (Note: This line is delivered in character and exemplifies the show’s edgy humor.)

• Alimony Tony (Jason Mantzoukas): A recurring character known for his humorous take on relationships and alimony.

  Jason Mantzoukas [74:10]: "I love paying alimony. Oh, I love writing those checks."

• The Grizz (Greg Nicotero): A playful antagonist introduced in the episode, adding a layer of mock-seriousness to the skits.

  Paul F. Tompkins [136:50]: "He's a water polo instructor."

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4. Behind-the-Scenes Trivia

The hosts share intriguing trivia about their favorite episodes and guest appearances, providing listeners with deeper insights into the podcast’s production.

• Henry Fax and Snowman Game: A notable moment discussed is the behind-the-scenes trivia regarding the "Henry Fax" episode and the climactic conclusion of the Snowman game, although specific details are playfully kept vague to maintain intrigue.

  Jason Mantzoukas [157:56]: "There's a parody of Sheldon Cooper."

• Don Cheadle Clips: Highlighting Don Cheadle’s versatile roles, the hosts play a clip featuring him discussing his characters in the Ocean’s series and his activism, showcasing his multifaceted talent.

  Jason Mantzoukas [57:48]: "Don Cheadle is an American actor."

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5. Tour Highlights and Fan Engagement

Reflecting on their extensive tour throughout 2024, the hosts express gratitude towards fans and share anecdotes from live performances.

• Tour Success: Completing 43 shows and performing for approximately 4,000 attendees, the tour episodes are praised for their energy and the diverse array of guests.

  Jason Mantzoukas [155:28]: "Not a bad crowd in any city..."

• Audience Interactions: Stories about audience members gifting watches and the challenges of managing live performances add a relatable touch to the summary.

  Jason Mantzoukas [13:44]: "He gave me a watch."

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6. Special Guest Appearances

The episode features interactions with notable guests who have contributed significantly to the podcast’s charm.

• Original Fig and Neptuna: Both characters make an appearance, blending humor with their unique personas.

  Paul F. Tompkins [24:23]: "Please welcome back to the show Original fig."

• Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Byron Dennison: The hosts engage in humorous dialogues with these characters, highlighting their inventive storytelling and comedic timing.

  Scott Aukerman [107:07]: "You hope to go to shows for..."

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7. Humorous Skits and Improvisations

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to improvisational comedy, where hosts and characters engage in spontaneous and absurd scenarios.

• Exorcism of Hot Dog: A standout skit where the hosts perform a mock exorcism, blending supernatural themes with slapstick humor.

  Jason Mantzoukas [135:08]: "Get out of that demon."

• Competitive Jigsaw Puzzling: Highlighting the hosts’ lighter side, they discuss their competitive nature when it comes to jigsaw puzzles, adding a personal touch to the comedic narrative.

  Scott Aukerman [142:00]: "We've been doing that."

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8. Acknowledgments and Thank-Yous

The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks to the production team, particularly Kimmy Gregory, and the engineers who have been instrumental in delivering quality content.

Paul F. Tompkins [152:11]: "Thanks to Kimmy Gregory, our producer..."

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Conclusion

"Best of 2024 Part 4" serves as a comprehensive celebration of Comedy Bang Bang’s enduring legacy, blending nostalgia with fresh comedic elements. Through a mix of top episode countdowns, character spotlights, behind-the-scenes trivia, and humorous skits, the episode encapsulates what has made the podcast a beloved institution over the past 15 years. Whether you’re a long-time listener or new to the show, this summary highlights the essence of Comedy Bang Bang’s unique brand of comedy and its ability to evolve while staying true to its roots.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

Abc Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So a couple of days when his.

[Scott Aukerman]

Daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was 18.

[Scott Aukerman]

The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off.

[Andy Daly]

Can we try to talk to each.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Other like rational adults?

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore. Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Vic Michaelis]

Is anyone out there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hmm.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Another salesperson enduring the endless search. Exhausting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you want to get right to the right conversations, you need LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Whether you're looking for new leads or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Strengthening existing relationships at your top accounts.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Get right to the right conversations with LinkedIn Sales Navigator. Try LinkedIn Sales Navigator now with a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Free 60 day [e-mail] trial.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's LinkedIn.com trial.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Terms and conditions apply.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You think it sounds like Wonelly?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think it's Wonelli. I finally figured it out because in between the last episode and this episode, I was listening to my favorite artist. Nelly Furtado.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And just Nelly Furtado. Yeah. Nelly Furtado. This is like hashtag wars all over again.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, hashtag wars all over again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Name your favorite artist as a food item. Nelly Frittata. Taco. Don't even have to change the name.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jeff Double Decker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jeff Decker.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jeff Beck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Beck. The best are where you can't even figure out what the original source material is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God. Hey. Welcome to the best of comedy Bang Bang 2024 Part 4.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I also welcome you with open arms.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, we'll take all comers.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Give us your tired, your poor, your wretched huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you know what? Give us your, like, cool people and sexy ladies and. Yeah, you know, like, let's make sure the majority is maybe.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, obviously give us those. The other ones.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But maybe throw in some, like, tens, you know?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, perfect. Perfect tens. Welcome to. Sorry. Apologies for that. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. My name is Scott Aerman. I'm the host of Comedy Ban. Bang with me as always on these best of episodes where we, by the end of the day, we have been driven insane by them. Is a comedian of note. You've seen him on your television screens. You've seen him in the movie There Will Be Blood.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You've Seen him in the movie Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny playing Dave Gro as a baby, I think.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please welcome Paul F. Tompkins.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hi. You left out Jack Frost playing drunk in audience.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jack Frost, folks.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He is doing the Jack Nicholson hair pullback.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How does Jack Nicholson feel? Like he's like, hey, my voice is already enough. You don't have to make fun of.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The fact that hairline.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's part of Jack.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He had that hairline for a long time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

For a long time. What's funny is I remember seeing guys who had that same hairline still doing the hand on the head.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's like, you don't have to. You don't have to do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You just point to your head.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Just like Jack dust.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are we doing here? We are.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can I ask you a question before we establish what we're doing here? So there's Perfect 10 magazine, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess. Yeah. Does it still exist?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Probably not. Right. But did they go. They should have magazines for all the numbers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Like, you know, hey, you're not into maybe, like, it's unattainable.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, people are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's sixes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

People are into what they're into.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Perfect two magazine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Perfect.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, she's a perfect two.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And what about imperfect tens?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, I want to see those.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They. They're like. They're. They're tens, but they've been. Obviously, they've been, like, damaged in transit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And here's what I. I think all women are tension.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So that's why Perfect 10 magazine. There aren't other numbers because all women are 10.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My Perfect 10 magazine is just a magazine where you open it up and it's a dictionary definition of the word woman.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

My Perfect 10 magazine is. You open it up and it's a picture of my wife. And everyone can buy it and everyone can see it. Guys, we're not usually like this. We've been driven insane.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Mike.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We tape. Not on my.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We like locker room talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course. After every episode, we hit the showers. We are. Of course. This is our fourth. It's part four of these episodes. Paul and I tape these all day in one day, and we are driven insane by them. And then we spend the rest of the year recuperating.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The rest of the year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we tape all the year's episodes immediately preceding these episodes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's Santa Style, where Santa style.

[Scott Aukerman]

Open.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Santa style. It's like he is exhausted after Christmas. Right. But then when does he start doing the shit again. When does he start, like. Because does he have to wait for kids to send out their lists or does he anticipate things that they will probably want?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There probably is. It's like the chain of demand. It's like any toy supplier, you know what the big sellers year after year are, what your staples are. Stretch Armstrong, of course. And nothing else.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tao race car set.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nope. Just Stretch Armstrong. So he gets started on. Stretch Armstrong's probably December 20th because he takes December 25th off.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well. Yeah. Because he's done by then.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Yeah. And so then December 26, he goes, maybe he'll do a half day.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

When. When do you hate to be the. The last stop on Santa's trip? Because it's like 59 on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Christmas Eve.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like, am I not getting presents this year?

[Scott Aukerman]

Just realized what I said didn't make any sense.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because the idea is to get them all for all under the tree before Christmas Day. Which he does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which he does. He's the best at it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Probably. Probably better at doing Santa than anyone else in the world.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, 100%. 100%.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There have been some people who've, like, you know how UPS was like, oh, we'll do it better than the post office, but you have to pay us more.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There have been Santa competitors. Yeah. Who have been like, I'll get presents to you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Quicker.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You just got to pay me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And those people are all dead.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because they didn't take into account Santa's immortal. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's so. That's such a big part of it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a huge part of it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So they had a good run. I mean, of like, 80 years, but then they all died off.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And now who's got the last laugh?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And also.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that laugh is a little like this. Ho, ho, ho.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What a shitty thing for Santa to show up and somebody's already put presents under the tree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And he's like, what the. Why did I come all the way out here?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Terrible, terrible.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We agree.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How come New Year's? Remember Rankin Bass did Rudolph Shiny New Year, and they were trying to get like, a New Year thing going.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't remember.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they had the baby New Year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What did. I mean, okay, so Rudolph, he's tired from Christmas.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then he's got to do another big adventure on New Year's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. I can't remember what happened. I don't remember if they had to Rescue the baby New Year or something like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God, this asshole.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But it didn't really count on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't remember it. I.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There you go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Love to see it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I would love for you to see it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you have a copy of this and you see me on the street, just stop me and show it to me on your phone.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If Scott. Okay, here's the thing. If you have a VHS copy of this and you see. You happen to see one of us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On the street, you better have your VCR ready.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You can't just track us where we're going to be. This has to be a natural occurrence.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will share my location with you. But you can't look at it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, same. And this is. We're all in the honor system here. But what I'm suggesting is you have to have that copy, the VHS copy of Rudolph Shiny New Year on you at all times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All times, on the off chance that you see us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because we're talking about magic here. We're talking about Christmas magic, talking about New Year's magic. And so wouldn't it be magical if you had that VHS on you and you happened to run into one of us?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I promise we will watch the entire one. No matter who we're with.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No matter where we're going, no matter what our plans are, we will immediately stop. If we just bought a lasagna, who cares? Cool. Cool it down.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If Scott and I went in on a hot lasagna, which we like to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do, we go halfsies. Although for Paul, he only pays for a third of it, usually because of the tip. He's like, oh, yeah, we're going havesies. He pays for half of the lasagna.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Leaves me with a tip.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's what we agreed to do. Tipping is not law. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We were out to dinner recently with someone who picked up the check, and this person left, obviously a huge tip for the server.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because the guy came back and. To have a quiet conversation with our friend.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A quiet, like, thank you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very, very much. And I. I've. I experienced this a couple of times where you just, like, someone's so good that you leave 50 to, you know, 60% tip.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, or just a giant tip or whatever. The person kind of has to come back to make sure you haven't made a mistake.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's kind of a nice thing to do, to be like, you may have made a mistake here.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I did that. I did it one time. And the person came back and asked exactly Asked me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is this on purpose?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. So that's nice. But, yeah, I was. I really wondered how much it would be, because first of all, we went out to dinner, and the agreement between us all is that we're all going to chip in for this dinner equally. And this person just pulled. Just big timed us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And was like, in a way that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Everyone was fine with.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that's enough. Like, sure. Then just leave the customary, you know, 25% or whatever. You leave.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I'm just realizing something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was picking that check up and left that gigantic tip.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

As a way of apologizing to the server for us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He was embarrassed of us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was embarrassed by us. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, this makes me sick to my stomach.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hate him, this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Who does he fucking think he is?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. He's so much better than us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We're great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. We're okay by ourselves.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What we did at that table was fine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Have you ever done a thing where, like, you've been out to dinner with a friend? This is especially like when I was young and had no money.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you go out to dinner with a friend, another friend who's young and has no money. You go half on it. Or you. Or even back when you have no money, you decide how much.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your share of it was. You know what I mean? And then you leave the table and you notice how much your friend is tipped.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And it sucks that has happened to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then you have to go back to the table and put some more money in.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Absolutely, absolutely. Absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because it's like they. They left.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're always doing that to me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Where are you getting these tips?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you're not leaving.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That would be funny if I pulled the old switcheroo.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But, yeah, it's gonna say, how are you getting tips?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would love to get tipped, like, after the show. Hey, guests on Comedy Bang Bang, give me a fiver on your way out the door.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Not me, though. It would be weird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Should we pool our tips?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We should pull our podcast tips at the end of the year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By the way, so many people came out to see us on the Comedy Bang Bang tour this year. Would it have killed you to tip us on your way out?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Hey, I get. If you don't want to spring for.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The VIP package, I understand, but you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can'T slip me fucking five hours.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. During the show. You can't just come up on stage and just, like, handed 22.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We got to put out a snifter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We got to put a snifter at.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The side of the stage. Just at the side of the stage that people can come up. By the way, we met someone at the LA show who said. Who gave me a wrapped present.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was it he said? Oh, you and Paul during. I think one of the best ofs mentioned that during the tour you wanted people to give you watches during the show. And I said, what? So he gave me a watch.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So thank you, sir.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, thank you. And also you pointed out that I also asked for that and I did not get a watch.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, I mean, it seems like one watch per show kind of thing. I can split the watch with you. I'd love to. Casey and Casey and Cool up. Do that with a jacket.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do they really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, they share a jacket. That's adorable.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's adorable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And one of them will call each other and say, hey, I need the jacket. The jacket for this weekend.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love that. I love that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I get the watch through Christmas.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you can talk to me in 2025. Although we're in 2025 right now. It's January 2nd.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Give me that watch.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, he's got a gun. What are we doing here? We are counting down your top episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that you have voted on from 2025.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Glad people voted on something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jesus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, what are you gonna do?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The world is what it is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, what are you gonna do? That's the country we have but you guys voted for. What we did was we. We got giant computers and built the biggest website you've ever seen.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it had a list of every single episode that we put out this year. And then everyone was able to pick 10 of these episodes. Their favorite 10. We have then taken all those votes, found the top 14 episodes today. On this episode, we're gonna hear the top three.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I'm excited that we got all of this tabulated before we asked the big computer, what is love?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And then it went crazy. Smoke coming out, ticker tape spitting out all over the place.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we didn't feed any ticker tape into it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No. Where did I get the ticker tape?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have no idea.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't even know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Where does anyone buy ticker tape these days? I'm during a parade. Obviously, they're passing it out.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But the top three. This is the creme de la creme ticker tape parade.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like, confetti was already a thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So did somebody forget, like, the first ticker tape parade. Did somebody forget to buy the confetti? Let's just use ticker tape.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have plenty of that. It's so popular.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's like long confetti.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was it used for? Just in general.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was like a news device.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like give you information, printouts and stuff like that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna look up the actual definite. Oh, guess what? Tickertape.com comes up off tickertape.com. the first thing that comes up is, okay. It revolutionized financial markets.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because you could transmit stock price over telegraph lines.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

See?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stock. You're gonna buy some stock this year.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah. I love it. I love to buy stonks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anyway, we're gonna hear the creme de la creme.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That means the cream of the cream, by the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The best of the best. The cocoa of Cocos. And this is the top three. Plus we're gonna hear your choice. And when I say your, I mean you, Paul. Your choice for the top Don Cheadle clip in Ocean's 11.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right. And that covers if he's talking about Ocean's 11 in an interview or Ocean's 12. Sure. And I'm gonna open it up to Ocean's 13.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I do prefer if it's a clip of someone coming up to Don Cheadle and saying, how much something stuck?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll try to find that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We've heard two so far.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Our hearts go out to Don Cheadle, who apparently has a rough time of it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And again, leave Don Cheadle alone. And again, hashtag Cheadle we needle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cheetah, we needle. And he'll know what that means if he comes across it, which means we need him on Comedy Bang Bang this year.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Aren't hashtags so helpful when you see a hashtag and you click on it and then it's just other shit with.

[Scott Aukerman]

That hashtag, but nothing that says, here's what this means.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like we were close to Cheadle when he was on Black Monday.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But we could never land him. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don, we need you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We were too scared to ask Paul Shear to make it happen for us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Because Paul Shear owes us each.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think seven. He owes me seven favors. How many does he owe you?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He owes me nine favors.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we've never cashed them in. We just keep accumulating.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It seemed ungentlemanly to cash them in, so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But we should have used one of them on John.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She has Cheetle's number.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, so what if we said Paul, the two of us will erase the favor board if you get Cheadle on this show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's 16 favors. Are we sure we want to catch these on Cheetle? I want him bad Cheetle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We needle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We needle sheerdle for needle for Cheadle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Shear will go clear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's Scientology wise because she'd only needle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So no more debts and you will be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I like this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, so. So it's two favors. It's give us Don Cheadle and.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And become a Scientologist. Yes. We're also going to be hearing the number one bit of behind the scenes trivia regarding the movie, regarding Henry.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, I mean, I'm excited, but I'm very. You're gonna love this one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Plus, we're gonna hear the climactic conclusion of the Snowman game.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is going to be the time of your life listening to all of this. And I envy you. I wish I could be the person hearing this instead of having to perform it. Everyone gets to enjoy this but us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, we're hearing it now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. So we're hearing it before anyone else.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a good point. We're better than you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Focus on that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, obviously, the first thing we have to do.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you're talking about the numbers 1, 2 and 3.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You gotta get to number 3 first. Right. Let's do it. You.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We gotta do it. Do it right now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your choice for episode number three.

[Scott Aukerman]

Number three.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. Number three. This is episode 863.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Dang. Pretty high up there in the eight hundreds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pretty high. Let me give you a date. May 6th of 2024.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

May the sixth. Be with you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. What do you. What happens at the beginning of May, Paul?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, the flowers bloom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true. We usually take a weekend off to go smell them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We celebrate our glorious communist country.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Huh?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We dance around the maypole.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course. Of course.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We ask old people to jump off a cliff.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We ask them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, always with consent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I beg them sometimes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, because who wants to do it really? But. And that's it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, there's one thing you forgot, Paul. Comedy Bang Bang started the first week of May of 2009. So this episode is the 15th anniversary show.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's got to be it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I guessed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You didn't guess it. I told it to you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I can't believe I guessed it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, who do we have? We have Jason Manzoukas making another appearance. We have Paul F. Tompkins. We have Andy Daly. We have Lily Sullivan, Tim Baltz, Sean Diston, Vic Michaelis, Lisa Gilroy, and Will Hines. All right, so we're going to hear Jason Manzoukas is my co host. Then Paul, you come in as original Fig.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right. The liquor store owner.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The liquor store owner himself. Then we have. And I mentioned that we were trying to get someone for the Wet Day episode. We have Andy Daly as Neptuna.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This happened a couple weeks after the Wet Day episode. Andy couldn't make the Wet Day episode, but really wanted to do Neptune again. Let me just explain. Neptuna. Andy did Neptuna in an episode probably like 200 and something, long time ago. And this is a. An underwater character from Atlantis or something.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like kind of a merman.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And he would. He does it, or at least he did it, you know, 10 years or so ago. By having a glass of water in his mouth and gargling as he talks.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I remember people hated it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was divisive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was very divisive. And it really makes me laugh that he waited another decade and decided to come back. And now everyone loves it. It's like the world caught up to Neptuna.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. That's beautiful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So we're going to hear Andy Daly as Neptuna, and then we're going to hear a little bit of Lily as Francesca Bolognese, the social media expert. We are going to hear some more of Tim Baltz as Randy Snuts. Then we're going to jump to Lisa Gilroy, who comes in as my nana. And then we're going to hear Will Hines as the bronze boogie boarder. Let's hear it. This is your choice for number three.

[Scott Aukerman]

Number three.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Before we get too far in the weeds about it, this is a very special show. You want to know why?

[Vic Michaelis]

Tell me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is the 15th anniversary episode.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. 15 years.

[Vic Michaelis]

And it's crazy when you. You look great, by the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Vic Michaelis]

When you started, you were 45.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sounds like you're teeing something up. Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're 45 when you started. You look fantastic for 60.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you so much. You're not incredibly far off. That's why usually exaggeration works if you go really far. But look, 15 years ago, it was 2009. We started this show, and we're in our quinceanera, and. Yeah, we've all put on pretty dresses.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we're taking pictures by the fountain.

[Vic Michaelis]

I love this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, anyway, Jason, it's a look. It's the 15th anniversary. Who knows who's gonna drop by. Well, I do know one person.

[Vic Michaelis]

You do have an open door policy, so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do.

[Vic Michaelis]

Anybody might join or. Nobody. It might just be you and I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't believe you two have ever met before. He is a the owner of Gethsemane Liquor and Scratcher. And please welcome back to the show Original fig.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Scott. Thanks for having me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, so good to have you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jason.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice to meet you.

[Vic Michaelis]

Great to meet you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How you doing, guys?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm good, yeah. 15 years. Have you ever done anything for 15 years? How long has that many liquor been open?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I. I took it over from my dad when he retired.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, he did?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. It was called the same thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, because I thought you called it that because you're a big true crime fan. The Bible is the original.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's my favorite true crime book. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you named it as a kid.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I named it as a kid.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, even as a kid, that was your favorite?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I've been a true crime buff forever. I feel like I was the first one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Well, those are some of the first crimes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right, Exactly.

[Vic Michaelis]

I mean, like a lot of crime, eating that apple is invented. It.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Well, eating the apple makes us aware that some of these things are crimes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Shout out to Kane and Abel. First murder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

First best to ever do it. I would.

[Vic Michaelis]

I mean, to gain the knowledge between good and evil.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Kane, like, invented the genre of murder.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, he did. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not even. Not even Satan did that.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like, honestly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know. Even Satan was like, whoa, dude.

[Vic Michaelis]

We wouldn't have Hannibal Lecter but for Kane.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. He is an underwater creature from the lost city of Atlantis. Please welcome back to the show Neptuna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you, guys. Happy Wednesday. Oh, it's wonderful to be here on Wednesday. I'm so excited to receive my invitation. I made it here as quickly as I could.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, as quickly as you could you. Because you missed wet day by. You missed wet day by over three weeks.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you talking about?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no. April 10th. We're in May already. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long did it take you to get here?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

I wonder if this is anything to do with, like, climate change or, like. Yeah, or daylight savings.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The two things that can make someone late. I don't know.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm just. I'm trying to help the guy out. He seems.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, the date line. You must love Dateline.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Neptuna.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love Dateline.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's great. What do you think?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You got Mandela affected.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what that is.

[Vic Michaelis]

You should probably explain it to him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you know who Nelson Mandela is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's a land creature.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am not familiar with a lot of your surface.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The best way to describe Nelson Mandela is he's a guy who lived on land.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You start there and then zoom out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, of course, I wouldn't know much about him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, well, Neptuna, it's great to have you back regardless of if it's belated for wet day or not, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's wonderful to be here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it's wonderful to have you, Neptuna. I mean, last time you were here, you had come to warn us of an impending war between.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I am still warning you, Robert Scott. That's why I was looking forward to using the occasion of wet day to renew my warning to the paper. You have to renew a warning, Am I right, lady?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like, like renewing your vows?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I gotta ask.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Neptuna, this war that is supposedly coming, sea life and humanity. How are you guys gonna all survive up here? I mean, you haven't lasted 10 minutes without me throwing water on you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. The plan is not for the sea creatures to invade the land. The plan is a coordinated attack when you're and your so called boats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, so when we're on like hovercrafts and jet skis and stuff, you guys.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You went right to hovercraft, right?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, hovercrafts and jets. He said boats. He said. And you corrected it as hovercrafts.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I'm just imagining like the summer this must be taking place in the summer.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Neptuna. Neptuna Original fig y garden scratcher. Are you. Is it only people that are on boats or. You have no plan to come onto land to do anything?

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course that the plan is that all of the creatures of the sea. I'm talking about whales, I'm talking about sharks, I'm talking about octopuses and squirrels and things. You haven't even heard of the whale. Whales have been attacking boats. They've been attacking the propellers and I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, is that part of your thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or have been banging the hill or whatever? Are you single? Why do you ask me?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's your favorite pig out food?

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm like, what?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your guilty pleasure?

[Vic Michaelis]

What's your guilty pleasure? Sunday after.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, well, we got to get to this plan. But before we do, we need to bring in our next guest. She is a social media manager who is here to give us tips about how to use our devices and how to telling us how to get rid of all these dings but she's here to help us with all these. With tips. Please welcome Francesca Bolognese.

[Andy Daly]

Oh, my God. Every time with a fucking tip. I don't give a tip.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You must have one tip, though.

[Andy Daly]

Yeah, my tip is go kill yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow, Kys.

[Vic Michaelis]

Now, Scott, are you gonna take that tip Dip.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What have you been up to? You. You, for the listener who doesn't know who Francesca is. Francesca worked at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

[Vic Michaelis]

In, like, customer service.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, that's what it was.

[Andy Daly]

But I did a social media account for them, but I didn't run the counter. What I did is I responded to comment on the counter. Let's say, for example, I don't know. Instagram, for example.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Andy Daly]

And then I go on the comment and they say, I went to bed button. Beyond. I bought the refrigerator. I open up.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's probably in Beyond.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't. I've never seen. My guess is maybe I haven't made it down to the basement level, but I have not seen.

[Vic Michaelis]

I don't think appliances are part of it, but what. Maybe it's covered in beyond. Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I Bath and Beyond.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bought a car.

[Vic Michaelis]

I bought a Hyundai Sonata.

[Andy Daly]

I buy a Kia. I open the door of the fucking refrigerator, and inside I find a bunch of tiny little buns of hair.

[Vic Michaelis]

Buns of hair.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tiny buns.

[Vic Michaelis]

Tiny buns of hair.

[Andy Daly]

Top knots cut off of people. Ass heads. Oh, in the freezer.

[Vic Michaelis]

In the freezer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Neptuna. You don't like to hear about freezers, right? You don't like to think about the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Water of the earth freezing up by the poles where it's supposed to be cold? That's fine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You ever read that Vonnegut book with Ice 9 in a cat's cradle?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. God bless you, Mr. Rosewater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Breakfast of champions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome to the monkey house.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. Anyway, Francesca, so you would write to these people?

[Andy Daly]

Yes. So I responded, commented like that, and I say, okay, Braxton from New Jersey, I'm so sorry. You buy a refrigerator with a bunch of top nuts in the refreezer. You find the hair because you ate piece of shit. Why you not take your family of four, go drive up a cliff in your kios or rental?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you would tell these customers that, and then they would retract their claim or.

[Andy Daly]

No, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They would just feel bad about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you.

[Vic Michaelis]

How do you find out what they drive?

[Andy Daly]

I go to their Instagram. I see the picture of the smiling family.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, wow.

[Andy Daly]

On a vacation in Hurricane Utah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Where?

[Vic Michaelis]

Hurricane.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hurricane Utah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hurricane. So you do like A deep dive on these people. If they say, I found hair in something.

[Andy Daly]

Yes. I find out where they live or where they work, how much money, Then.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You can do, like, a targeted roast.

[Andy Daly]

Yes. And I say, I'm so sorry, Daniel, for your job working in marketing at. Let me think of a marketing place.

[Vic Michaelis]

I mean, any place, really. Lots of places have marketing.

[Andy Daly]

Where could those. Someone do marketing at a broad spectrum of corporations.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Spectrum.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Anything.

[Andy Daly]

Spectrum.

[Vic Michaelis]

Spectrum's one of them.

[Andy Daly]

Marketing department of the Spectrum.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Well, our interest is peaked.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it?

[Andy Daly]

Your mind are blown.

[Vic Michaelis]

And my question for you, Francesca, is having now shared the time with you multiple occasions, it seems like a lot of Bed, Bath and Beyond products are finding. People are finding hair in them.

[Andy Daly]

Yes. It's funny, you know that. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is there an epidemic of.

[Vic Michaelis]

Now, how. What's the. Or how. Where's that originating from? Yeah, like, where.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like you mentioned top knots, and I remember.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes. So those appear to be coming straight off of scalps. So it's not. It's not just like, oh, the sweepings of hair from a barbershop. This seems like people are.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Was it like a massacre of the cast of Bun Head?

[Andy Daly]

Yes. Well, you know, people think it is Mr. Beyond.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Mr. Wait, there's an actual Mr.

[Vic Michaelis]

Beyond.

[Andy Daly]

Mr. Beyond.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's also a Mr. Or is it Mr.

[Andy Daly]

Yes, but they die.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, they die. They die, but Mr. Beyond remains.

[Andy Daly]

They choke on hair and they die.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, wow. Okay, so hair again, coming. This could be true crime for you. The original fig. You might be onto something. This could be a spin off of. Have you. Have you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. We got to do a CBB Presents True Crime podcast with original by.

[Vic Michaelis]

The original thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna hold you to that. Original fig.

[Vic Michaelis]

We just made it happen right here.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have a saltwater taffy shop.

[Vic Michaelis]

I would think that would be very normal. I think that you could just call it a taffy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Did you say taffy or tuffy?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what's happened.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, we probably should talk about that war.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Francesca. Francesco. All right, well, look, we need to get to our next guest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Andy Daly]

Okay, fine. We could get to someone else like this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, he is. I first got to know this gentleman when he had a job replacing the ice in the urinals at my favorite restaurant, Damianas. The Domios. The Domio. Sorry. Yes. What did the pandemic do to your brain? I got. I got mom brain right now.

[Andy Daly]

Yeah, the long Covid, for sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. The longest Covid, but Billy Joel.

[Vic Michaelis]

But I'm sorry, it's Called Daddy Omeos.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Dadomios. It went out of business because their takeout sucked. 2020 was hard for a lot of people. Yeah, back to it. What's that?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Dita Dudios.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, Dadomios. Dadomios. Is there something. Am I Mandela ing my own mouth?

[Vic Michaelis]

Is it D'adores.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now I'm starting to get the impression that you guys are fucking with me. Oh, no. We're sorry to do that, but let me welcome you to the show. Please welcome Randy Snuts. Oh, nice. Finally, a welcome. Hi, Randy. Just seven minutes of shitting on my head. Just kidding. Thanks for the welcome. I'm hungover right now. What's going on? Why are you hungover from Twisted Festival? Oh, you guys had Twisted Fest recently? I don't know when this episode claims to have been recorded, but I'm confused about that too. The canon for me is that it's being recorded on 420 and I'm very upset that you invited me here. I beg your pardon, Randy, I didn't mean to invite you on a day that was so precious to you. Yeah, because this is the people's Christmas. Jesus rolled out of the tomb, took like 17 days, and then hooked back up with the apostles and lit the fattest splits. I did not read that part of the Bible. I mean, original. Fig here is a Bible enthusiast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. I never made that connection before.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I guess I'm a bibliophile.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The original book, as.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

As a true. As a true crime aficionado, I feel like Jesus's trial was a kangaroo court. I feel like the charges were trumped up.

[Vic Michaelis]

Get him a new trial.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I think they executed an innocent man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's what I've been saying. I don't even have time to appeal.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, there was no appeal process. I don't think he even had legal representation.

[Scott Aukerman]

He rode a donkey into town for Passover, Put him on the fucking cross.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you know Jesus.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know Jesus.

[Vic Michaelis]

And you know above. Did Jesus go to Atlanta? Did Jesus go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, he ever make it down?

[Andy Daly]

You walk on the water, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jesus, was he too good for it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If he walks on the water, does that mean you like him or you hate him?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't like him at all. Like, come on in, man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

See, we don't like him on wet day because he refused to get wet.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. I don't like him either.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're on record not liking Jesus.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not a fan. I think it was intentionally provocative to ride that donkey in the town when.

[Andy Daly]

He was asking for it, is what you mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you please reopen the bathroom door? I need easy access to the faucet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, yeah, no problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

I need to stay wet.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Neptuna. Is it possible you could go back home? Like, through the toilet?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, I can. There has to be a hole. But, yes, in the toilet. At the bottom of the toilet, there needs to be a hole. I don't know if that's standard.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, that we.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Okay, good. That's all. I mean, at least I can get to the ocean, and that's one of the problems. Your sewage system leads to our habitat. You must stop pollocking the ocean.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're probably shitting in your own ocean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but that's different.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hey, do you ever see any of those big albino alligators down there?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, alligators are not in the ocean.

[Vic Michaelis]

No, in the sewer.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He talks to me like I'm the dumb one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, you guys.

[Vic Michaelis]

You guys are a good duo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would listen to this.

[Vic Michaelis]

I would listen to this podcast of the two of you trying to solve underwater True Cry.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, you want to guess on my True Cry podcast?

[Scott Aukerman]

Absolutely.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, we're.

[Scott Aukerman]

The first.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thing is, we're going to investigate the Bed bath beyond mysteries.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Mr.

[Vic Michaelis]

Beyond is to blame.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Who is this shadowy figure?

[Andy Daly]

I introduce you to him. I make a connection, you know, I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hope connection is made.

[Vic Michaelis]

Thanks, Elastica. If Franchesca is on the show, you might have to modulate her voice if she wants to be anonymous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's very special. It's a 15th anniversary show, and it's. It's very special to me to be doing something this long. So I wanted to invite someone who is very special to me. Please welcome my Nana.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello, Scott.

[Andy Daly]

Happy birthday. Finally, 15. I didn't think you'd make it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ah, Nan, the show is 15. I'm a little bit older than that.

[Andy Daly]

Happy birthday, Scott.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's not my birthday.

[Andy Daly]

Happy birthday.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you very much. Wonderful to have you. Now.

[Andy Daly]

Now that you're finally 15, I can tell you a few things. Boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, gee. Okay. What. What do you want to tell me? Hopefully, I don't know any of it.

[Andy Daly]

Well, your mother made me promise I wouldn't tell you till you turned 15.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Andy Daly]

Happy birthday, Swan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure. All right. But, yeah, tell me. What do you have?

[Andy Daly]

Okay, well, have you ever wondered why your crotch hurts all the time?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I guess. Yeah, sure.

[Andy Daly]

Something. Well, Nana's secret. You were in a moto scooter accident.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A moto scooter accident.

[Vic Michaelis]

Moto Scudo. A moto. A moto Scooter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I said what?

[Andy Daly]

I said, bitch.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, whoa, whoa. Nana's very salty when she gets like this.

[Andy Daly]

He was in a moto Scooter accident when he was just a baby. And all of you at his birthday party with the gall to laugh at him. He walks around with a throbbing ache in between his legs from the moto scooter. That's, by the way, why we named you Moto Scooter.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think my name's Scott, actually. Did you shorten it or.

[Andy Daly]

Happy birthday.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Happy birthday, Nana.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Where are you from, dear?

[Andy Daly]

From? Well, I'm from, I'm a mixed kind of, I guess. What's it, England. Right. Cost you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, yeah, I, I, I think.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You have a lovely speaking voice.

[Vic Michaelis]

There's a, there's a bit of a lilt to it, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Andy Daly]

I'm from the greater European continent.

[Vic Michaelis]

You're from the continent?

[Andy Daly]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay. Yeah, that big one.

[Andy Daly]

That's why.

[Vic Michaelis]

Ah, not the lesser European continent?

[Andy Daly]

Of course not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Was there anything else you wanted to tell me on my 15th birthday? Or was that it? Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why? Did you feel like it was that important to tell him about his, his, his painful crotch?

[Andy Daly]

We wanted to wait till he was 15 so as not to, you know, bottle up his brain. But now that you know the truth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Andy Daly]

It's also, you know, time for 15 year olds gonna start having sex soon. Do you know what sex is? School too?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I, I have an okay idea of it.

[Andy Daly]

He has no idea what the sex is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Come on, be cool.

[Andy Daly]

I tell you something. He, he needs help.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think it's, I think it's when a man and a. Oh my God.

[Vic Michaelis]

Scott's shorts are hitting. Smoke is coming up Scott's ears.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tiger tape coming out of his mouth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Human beings.

[Scott Aukerman]

There you go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we have to get to our next guest. He is. Well, there's no other way to put it. He's a traveler. Welcome a traveler.

[Scott Aukerman]

Behold. Behold, panelists. Tis I, the bronze boogie boarder. A galactic traveler who has abandoned his responsibilities and needs a place to crash.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We turned you down. You can talk right into the mic if you like.

[Scott Aukerman]

You turn me down. Okay, good.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wait a minute.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of headphones came off the ears. My apologies.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Where are you traveling from?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm traveling from the farthest reaches of space. I was the servant of a world eating entity and I abandoned my post.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's that mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, try to judge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Abandoned my post.

[Scott Aukerman]

Abandoned my.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, that I got.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You got that part. Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It means I had responsibilities. No, no, I got that. You got that part.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean the world eating entity.

[Scott Aukerman]

A world eating entity. A giant genderless creature.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Genderless?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well. Well, actually, I never thought about it until this moment, but I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you ever see it having sex with anything?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, No, I never did. But sex is not a great gender.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So I'm wondering, did you ask?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you know, I'm just. I'm realizing now it was. It was a humanoid creature of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In indeterminate.

[Scott Aukerman]

But your second descriptive word was genderless.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That was number two.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never described him that way, but I was.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I. I wouldn't describe anyone that way either.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, no, that's not what I mean. I was going to say giant humanoid man. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then I was summoning my, you know, image of it and realized what does not really male presenting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does it have a cod piece or anything like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. He's describing each world.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, that. That's what I want to ask about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So this. This creature.

[Scott Aukerman]

Entity. Yes. Sorry.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Entity. Sure is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just because it doesn't have gender, we don't have to call it a creature.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, the creature's not pejorative. I don't think.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. All right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow, we're really hung up on this, but, yeah. It's big enough to eat worlds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You mean like planets?

[Scott Aukerman]

Correct.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So did it come from a gigantic planet itself?

[Scott Aukerman]

Its origin is unknown to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What about Uranus?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. Do you and this creature ever make jokes like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I wish we did. It's a very cold. Well, it was a very cold and businesslike relationship. My job was to scout planets for it to devour.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, yeah, it's in. What are you doing here? If you don't mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I quit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you quit. Oh, you're not scouting for him after how long?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, couple millennia. I went at it for quite 2, 000 years.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's a long time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, I know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not really a couple millennia.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How did you quit? Was it like a. How long ago did you quit?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I call it the Wheel.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Anyway, earlier today, I gotta tell you what's up. That you sound like a bad person.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you saying?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

2,000 years? You scouted out planets for this guy to eat? It took us 2,000 years to say, maybe I shouldn't do this anymore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How often was he eating? Like three times a day, like us humans do.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no, not that often.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How often could he go on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Twice a week.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Twice a week? Twice a week for 2,000 years?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, give or take. How long is a week in the. Where he lives? I don't know. I don't know how to answer that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Two days.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I'm fond of the people of this planet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I find you've been here before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Scouting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scouting it. Yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Come on, bro. I'm sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know it's not cool. Wait a minute. This is just what we need. To unite land dwellers and sea creatures against a common foe is like the end of Watchman.

[Vic Michaelis]

You think we should attack him?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, wait, what.

[Vic Michaelis]

What.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What are you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you hinting at? Huh? Slow down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is.

[Vic Michaelis]

This is our common enemy. This guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So where you.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I quit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I quit earlier today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, that's exactly.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's exactly what the person who was here to bring about destruction would say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, come on. Don't start playing that game.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I bet you do this all the time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're scouting right now, aren't you?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I mean, I can't help it. I'm on autopilot a little bit with scouting, but I don't do it efficiently.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's the criteria you're looking for?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, you got a lot of flesh walking around. Oh, this is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, this motherfucker.

[Vic Michaelis]

This guy's a perv.

[Lily Sullivan]

He's just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Perv.

[Vic Michaelis]

He's just coming to check out our flesh and then let someone else not eat us.

[Andy Daly]

This is a child's birthday party.

[Scott Aukerman]

Number three.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, Number three.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This was fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This was a fun one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This was really, really fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I believe we're making Dread Zeppelin references that don't yet make sense.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, is that true?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, they. I mean, they made sense in the chronology of time, but they don't make sense. If you. If you have not heard any of these episodes, you don't know why we're talking about Dread Zone.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I see. Yes, that's true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But also, Paul, original Fig and. I don't know whether we heard it in this clip, but original Fig and Andy Daly as Neptuna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Agree to be on a true crime original. Fig has a true crime podcast.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, he's a true crime buff.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And. But. But we agreed that you were going to have a podcast.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, that he and Neptuna would do a true crime podcast. Investigating.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Something with Costco.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, the. It was going to be about the. Was it going to be about the Bible? I can't. We just heard this clip, so. I can't remember, but in any case, yes. So we. We tried to schedule this once, and everyone had too much Going on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right. And we never tried again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But we'll. We'll get there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Never say never.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We'll get there. By the way, I meant to say, when Carl was doing Lothario Lewis, we agreed to maybe do a. Scott hasn't seen about the movie Hitch together because neither of us have seen it, so we gotta make that happen as well. Yeah, you do. Yes, of course we do.

[Scott Aukerman]

You must.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. That was a fun episode. Everyone ganged up on Will.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was really. I mean, I. I'm of two minds on that because I want Will to do his thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But it is fun when he introduces a character that's based on the Silver Surfer and he explains, like, yeah, it was my job to go around and find suitable planets for him to destroy and to say, like, hey, that's up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's terrible. What a terrible thing to. It's genocide. Yeah. You're a kid. To Hitler.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It becomes funny to hear him try to justify it. Yeah. It's like, well, I had to do it because of my planet. And it's like, well, so your planet is so much better than it was. Really. I. I don't know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's very funny.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think Will is. I believe Will is okay with that. Like, he expects it to happen and he's fine with it, but it does. It does. It weirdly does feel a little like bullying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's as close as you can get to bullying when you're an improv person. Yeah. And you're the person usually being bullied.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There's like a bullying simulator.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That you can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Will obviously enjoyed it because he brought the bronze boogie boarder back on tour in St. Louis, and he got the bright idea. First of all, I think we. During. We were so hungry during that show, we asked Someone brought up pizza, and we asked what the best pizza was in St. Louis, and someone shouted out a place, and we immediately ordered it and said, whenever it comes out on stage, just bring it right out. Just bring it out on stage. We'll eat in front of everyone. Will got the pizza and he had the bright idea of simulating his bronze boogie boarder using one of these pallets with, like, the little roller wheels on it, and was being pushed out on this while holding pizza, and I believe immediately toppled immediately. Yes, we got it on video.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's. It looked great. He's. He's standing very nobly on this. On this dolly and holding the pizzas in front of him in a, you know, a sort of gesture of offering and then stops short I think. And then.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or maybe hits a. A bump on stage or something.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right down the pizzas fall down. Woosh, woosh. Also, because Will was waiting to be introduced, we could smell the pizza on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And we were going crazy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I thought it was like being a dog. It was like being a dog. So that was. That was an interesting evening.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We were like, just bring it out. But Will wanted to come out with it in this big entrance, which he then.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Then we were told pretty immediately after the show that that was not the best pizza in town. This is a place that everybody knows. People were like, oh, yeah, that pizza's not good. But we passed out a pizza to the audience and we watched it go around and people taking a slice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, there was one pizza and There were probably 800 people at that show or something. And everyone was respectful.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And it was like the miracle of.

[Scott Aukerman]

The loaves, the fishes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It truly was.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Our Lord Jesus Christ fed the masses with a miracle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Enough with Jesus. It's 2025.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No more Jesus in 2025.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't want to hear about this guy anymore.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, honestly, let's try it one year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's just try it one year. Everyone agrees never to bring him up. See how different the world could be.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I tell you what, if it's worse, absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From here on out, something's going to happen this year which is going to make it worse, naturally.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So I guess we'll see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that was a really fun episode. Thanks to everyone involved. It's always great to do those big gang episodes. True, dad. We're gonna take a break. When we come back. Yeah, everyone is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I know I am.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When we come back, we're gonna crack the top two.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The best.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The best of the best. Plus, we're gonna have the number one. Don Cheadle clip from Ocean's eleven. Or talking about Ocean's eleven or twelve or thirteen. And we're gonna hear the number one regarding Henry Fax so much in the show and the snowman game. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang bang best of 2024 part four after this exciting. This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs. Oh, boy. We're having entrepreneurs back on the show and they're going to use it. It helps entrepreneurs stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place, all on your terms. You can get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at Squarespace. Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks of the dear mouse, my dear boy, and start receiving payments right away. Plus give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like and Here we go with them. They're going to sound made up, but maybe you know what they are. Klarna Ach Direct Debit in the us, Apple Pay Afterpay in the US and Canada and Clearpay in the uk. Squarespace. Look, what do I need to say about them? We've been using them now for it feels like I know it's over a decade. I think we did all the earwolf websites with Squarespace. They're the best. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you are ready to launch squarespace.com Bang Bang will save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Thanks Squarespace. We all like to be flexible, don't we? That's why we take yoga every single day, right? Five hours a day. Well, flexibility is great, but what about when and how you get tasks done? Well, flexibility in your workday means you can decide when and where to invest your time with stamps.com tedious tasks like sending certified mail? That's really hard to say. Tedious tasks like sending certified mail, invoices, checks or documents and packages. All of this can be done on your time, not someone else's. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever. Access all the USPS and UPS services you need to run your business right from your computer or phone, anytime, day or night. No lines, no traffic, no waiting. Stamps.com, they've been one of our super sponsors for the past decade. We use them so much, especially in the early days of Earwolf. We mailed everything. We mailed podcasts to people with stamps.com have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. did I say stamps? It's stamps.com Sign up at stamps.com and use code Bang Bang for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com code bang bang.

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Scott Aukerman]

As a top rated online small business.

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Lender, Ondeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan.

[Scott Aukerman]

To fit your needs.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by On Deck or Celtic Bank. On Deck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amount subject to lender approval.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Comedy Bang bang. Best of 2024, part four said it. And before we get to what you've chosen as episode number two, we gotta get to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, gotta hear this clip.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gotta hear this Cheetle clip. Now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don Cheadle is an American actor. He's been in a number of films, including the Oceans series of films.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ocean's 11, Ocean's 12, Oceans 13.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think he makes an appearance in Ocean's 8.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think do any of them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Clooney does, I think. Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is Clooney any.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Doesn't he do a little cameo?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, probably he does. Cassandra Bullock is Clooney's sister, I think. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And they're both con art.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Can that happen in a family? And they don't work together. They're just like separate solo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think they'd be all like a team act.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like, oh, we're. Yeah. I don't know. Hey, who knows? I mean, it's a lot like regarding Henry. Is that possible?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Who knows?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or is it like a sitcom?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think it's possible to get shot in the head and be different.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Have a up head. All right, let's hear it. This is your number one clip of Don Cheadle Movie Talk. If you on the show, Movie talk isn't good enough as a time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Our weekly show about movies, the people who star in them and the people who create them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is Peter Bart.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I could not be happier. That's what he sounds like.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are two Don Cheadles. There's the champion jokester and bon vivant who starred in the Ocean eleven series and Talk to Me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I Ain't that crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then there's the crusading social activist who made Crash and Hotel Rwanda and who serves as UN goodwill ambassador.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Here's what you and I need to do.

[Vic Michaelis]

We need to go out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's go out and rage, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

In his new series titled House of Lies, he plays a dialogue manipulator, exploits both women and business colleagues. Happily, both Don Cheadles are with us today.

[Andy Daly]

Hang on to your knickers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Actors are proverbially worried about getting typecast, but there's no way that you can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Accuse anybody of typecasting.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're all over the map in terms of the characters you play.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, I. I'm glad about that. You know, I. I don't hear a lot of Ocean High School. I went to California. More people coming up to him saying things are bad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don Cheadle interview about Ocean11. What we did and Hotel Rewind.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And does it say Ocean 11?

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We do an avant garde mask play.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And then we do, you know, come on, Cheeto.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We had the opportunity to play a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Lot of different things and to explore.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A lot of different characters. I can skip ahead to in my career a part about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you have.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You better do a part about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And weeks later, he was able to put the financing together with me in the lead. So thankfully I, I, you know, worked it out. Okay. This is about Hotel Rwanda. I'm not sure why I skipped ahead to something called Financing Ocean 11. And it's about financing Hotel Rwanda. What the hell?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Peter park, get your act together, dude.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. And that's it. That's your number one clap. Hey, I didn't vote for it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Number one clips are number one clips.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Jesus Christ. All right, now, speaking of clips, we have to get to your choice.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We have to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

For the number two clip of Comedy Bang Bang this year. This is your number two.

[Scott Aukerman]

Number two.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. This is. We've. We've been pretty high up in the 800s, haven't we?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, living high on the 800s, as they say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This, however, is episode 845.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's so close to smack dab in the middle of the 800.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So close and yet so far away. This is from January 15th of this year.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's a million years ago.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So long ago. But last year. Yeah, last year. Oh, that's right. Yeah. So almost a full calendar year ago.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And ciao, ciao, ciao.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And this is an episode called so New York.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, the participants are. We have the actor and funny man, Jake Johnson. I remember what people would be called actor and funny man. Yeah, I enjoyed that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bring it back.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, bring it back. Call us Funny Men or Funny Women. Jake Johnson, you know him from the New Girl or New Girl. We couldn't quite figure out what it was called during the episode. He didn't even know if it was called New Girl or the New Girl. He kind of like, sort of said, oh, I. It's just New Girl. And then he said, wait, maybe. I don't even know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I still can't figure it out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know what it was called.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because they both seem right to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, they both. It's either seems possible.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Also. Let's be cops.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's be cops. He also very germane to this episode. So let me give a little bit of background about this episode.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. Jermaine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jake had never been on the podcast before. This is his first appearance. He'd been on the TV show in a very funny episode. And he's not someone that I run into all that much. So I'd never had the opportunity to ask him to be on the podcast. I don't run into him that much, except when I was at a hotel this Memorial Day and I was sitting on the beach and I get a tap on the shoulder. He's like, hey, what's going on?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tap on the shoulder on the beach.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Terrifying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But he had never been on the show before. He's very, very funny. Just like a naturally funny guy. A lot like Jason Mantzoukas, in a way. Just very, very funny. Took to the podcast really well.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like a duck to water.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. But one behind the scenes part of it which comes into the scenes is when you have a certain type of actor or performer on the show, you're going through publicists quite a bit to schedule it, to figure out details about it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is part of the checks and balances of show business.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. They don't want you just to run wild with having people on your podcast.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because where does it end?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. You become a podcast guy. So Jake's publicist. There were so many conversations about this episode and what was going to happen during it and when it was going to come out. And he was promoting his movie, which came out the week that this episode came out. And that was all fine. Like, he was there to promote the movie. But the publicist or. Or the. No, the. The. The publicist got a hold of Sony because Jake also plays one of the. He plays Peter Parker in the beyond the Spider Verse movies. Sony knew he was coming on the show and said, hey, if you talk about the Spider Verse movie, which at that point had been out for eight months or so. If you talk about the Spider Verse movie, we'll send you a box full of Spider man merchandise.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or it wasn't even like a quid pro quo. It was purely a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They said they would give you the box.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes. It was more like, hey, will you make sure to talk about the Spider man movie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And by the way, here's a box of Spider man merchandise. So it wasn't quid pro quo necessarily. I would never engage in that, Clarice. But so I agreed and got this. I have a Spider man pen that I use over there and gave most of it away to my sister, who's a pediatric nurse, to give to the kids. And so it was like a giant box into the spider verse stuff, which is very nice. And so Jake came on and was baffled as to why I was bringing up Spider man and was like, why are we talking about Spider Man? Like, he wasn't there to promote it. No one had ever asked him. Hey, will you bring up Spider Man? It was just something that I was told to do. Which then led to what you're going to hear. We have. Jake is there. We also have Paulif Tompkins is there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hi.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You are later in these clips, playing Alimony Tony. We also have Lily Sullivan, who had come to be Bridget Jones, a character that she does based on the movie Bridget Jones's Diary. We're not going to hear those clips. We're going to hear what ends up happening before that. Let's just hear it. This is your choice for episode number two. Number two, but Spider man across the spider verse. If you want to see the end of the story, you got to pay for two movies.

[Lily Sullivan]

No, you have to pay for one. You've already seen the first half.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you don't.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Haven't seen the first half.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, but I was told you want to promote this first one.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why? If it's been out for. I guess it's in the. They tell me it's in the window. The home video.

[Lily Sullivan]

For real? I'm supposed to promote this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Well, I mean, I'm supposed to bring it up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, they.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They promised me Spider man merch if I talk about it. And I said, well, I probably have all the merch, but I'll. I'll sell it on ebay.

[Lily Sullivan]

I don't know what I would promote for that. Besides, it's out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's. It's out in home video now.

[Lily Sullivan]

But it's been on home video.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know, but I was told to talk about. Oh, take this up. Take this up with your people. So the movie's called I'm sorry.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm sorry.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, who's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If I can.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, who's this?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm Maribel, and I am Jake's publicist, and I do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, Maribel, I didn't see you in the corner there. How Long have you been there?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I've been here for quite a while.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's always here. Oh, I.

[Lily Sullivan]

Thanks for coming.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of course. You know I'm always looking out for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know.

[Lily Sullivan]

Thank you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The reason we're promoting it is to put it back in people's minds for when the second half comes out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I see. Okay. So you want to remind everyone that it exists. Exists.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It exists.

[Lily Sullivan]

Did Sony show you that? Maribel, are you just going off the jack here?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sony actually told me this was dumb, and I said, this is your call because you're my client.

[Lily Sullivan]

Never mind. I'm sorry. Thank you. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So what was the conversation with Sony?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I said I called. Okay. I called up Sony and I said.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You called Sony?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Yeah, she represents me.

[Lily Sullivan]

I made up a lot of times.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I used to do these all the time.

[Lily Sullivan]

Also, by the way, thank you for calling Sony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I have a weekly call with them.

[Lily Sullivan]

You do?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Who? It's Sony, everybody.

[Lily Sullivan]

But specifically.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, it's Tony. It's Rob. Tony, Sony, Tony, Tony, the whole Sony family.

[Andy Daly]

I heard my name.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What are you doing here?

[Andy Daly]

Well, I thought I'd come by. I just want to make sure, you know, you were doing a good job.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What an honor.

[Lily Sullivan]

Thank you very much.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, well, you know what? I'm glad you're here, Tony.

[Andy Daly]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Because let's settle this right now and you guys be the judge. Well, you can't, Scott.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to be judged.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You're impartial. Well, don't be. Executioner. You said executioner. Snuck into my word. All right. So is it, as Tony says, dumb to promote a movie that's been out for years?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's been out for years.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How long has it been out?

[Lily Sullivan]

It's been out for what, almost a year? No, no, Tony, your movie, I would say, I think it was the summer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nine months or so maybe.

[Lily Sullivan]

Feels longer.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think in show business terms, that's years.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's true.

[Lily Sullivan]

That's by the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It is in actress terms, by the way. That's you don't work anymore.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Exactly.

[Andy Daly]

You're dead, you're done.

[Lily Sullivan]

You're dead in six months.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We agree on that?

[Andy Daly]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

Six months. You're dead.

[Andy Daly]

Six months. You're dead. You're done. You cooked. That's what I always say.

[Lily Sullivan]

Tony seems to be different now. You seem to be a publicist, too, Tony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Maribel, can I say you have the deepest voice, and Tony, you have the highest voice.

[Lily Sullivan]

And also, Tony feels like a manager in New York in the early 80s. You're done, honey. You got nothing, kiddo.

[Andy Daly]

Hey, get the hell out of here.

[Lily Sullivan]

You can't dance, you can't sing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got nothing.

[Lily Sullivan]

Big nose.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tony, how. How did you start in this business?

[Andy Daly]

Well, you know, I worked my way up at the. At the pizza place.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The pizza. Wait, Sony started as a pizza place?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sony was originally a pizzeria.

[Andy Daly]

I started making the dough, making the pies. Get the hell out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was. It's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was so New York.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So New York.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, so New York. Sony. Yes, I understand. So what's the deal with the New York pizza? Is it the water?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It is.

[Andy Daly]

It is the water.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It is the water.

[Andy Daly]

We piss in the water.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You piss in the water in New York.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's how we do it in these.

[Lily Sullivan]

What era was this when you were making these pizzas? Pre Sony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I didn't. I thought Sony was like one of our oldest studios. It actually started as a pizza place in the 80s.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, wait, you're talking about the movie studio.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, are you not part.

[Andy Daly]

Oh, you talk.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't call. I don't call the movie studio on a weekly basis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You just call me pizza place. So New York every week.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

To talk to my friend Tony Stoney and represent me.

[Lily Sullivan]

And I appreciate.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You're welcome, of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is Maribel just mispronouncing your name? Is your name Tony? So New York. Yeah, but we're friends.

[Andy Daly]

Forget about it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right.

[Lily Sullivan]

There's your proof. Tony's New York.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

True New York. All right, I will forget about it. Please welcome to the show. Back to the show, Alimony Tony.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hello, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello, Jake.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice to meet you.

[Lily Sullivan]

Great to meet you too, Tony.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My name is Tony Giacchironi, better known as Alimony Tony.

[Lily Sullivan]

Big fan.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tony, thank. Oh, thank you very much. Of my song parodies.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's so interesting because Fred Guinness was on the show recently.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And was saying that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The records guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, the record. He's also a song parodist. I don't know if you know this. Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

Oh, you're talking about the Brad Garrett guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, he loves Brad Garrett and he happens to be a song. Song parody. It's not a song Garrett, but he also is. He runs the Guinness Book of World Records and that's his main gig. But he was telling me he was. He was throwing shade at you. He was saying that your videos only have one view and that's your own view.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That is true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you won't even watch a second time to get a second view.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That is because I can't I can't stand that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your voice.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No. The embarrassment of adding another view. And it's me again.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you know what I mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But no one knows this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, that's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a. It's a private little hell, but it's mine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So. Jake, how. How would you even know about Alimony? Tony's song parody, Word on the Streets. Word on the street.

[Lily Sullivan]

I listened to a bootleg of it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh.

[Lily Sullivan]

Similar to the Japanese show Somebody. I just remember being in a van. I was younger, very stoned, and this guy's the best. I think it was a cassette.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My street team is working.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, this is great. But. So I wouldn't have registered on any clicks or anything. This was pre Internet, I feel.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, that's how I started. And. And I've decided to bring that back. And I'm having. I've got a team of kids going out there and they're distributed cassettes and they are, of course, spray painting stencils on the sidewalk. We're the Bodial.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So the word's getting out.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The word is getting the words.

[Lily Sullivan]

I think the word's spreading, don't you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, I know who you are. You've been on the show several times. But I don't know that I've seen ev. Out in the world.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

My first appearance, of course, was very funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But primarily, what you're known for. For those of you who are new listeners to Comedy Bang Bang, you've been on the show many times. But primarily. Primarily, you're known for being a person who has gotten married and divorced multiple times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How. How many times are we up to now?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, since the last time we've seen each other, Scott, it's probably the early 60s.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're in your. Wow, your early 60s.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Try to get that up to 69. What do you say?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I hope that doesn't happen. I mean, you know, the thing you always. Yes, of course. I always marry for love. I always think it's gonna work out. I always give it my all, but it just doesn't work out.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sometimes it doesn't. But the one thing about you is, the one silver lining on this cloud is you love paying.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I love paying out. Oh, it gives me such a rush. Now, again, I do not get married just so I can get divorced, pay alimony. I marry for love, But I do love paying alimony. Oh, I love writing those checks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. So now you're paying. I don't know that you're paying over 60 people alimony. Because, of course, some get remarried, some pass away.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I still send them the alimony, though.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To their gravesite in lieu of flowers, please. Oh, yeah. To the survivors. Really? You're not legally obligated to do this?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I'm not, but I just. Well, I love being alimony, but also I, I, of course, I. I've remained on friendly terms with every single ex wife that I've.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. They love him. That's nice. Yeah, it is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Some refuse the alimony, they don't want it. They say, tony, it just didn't work out. No hard feelings. Nobody's at fault here. But I still sent them the check. And sometimes they send it back. Sometimes they send it back ripped up. Sometimes send it back with, like a funny little message on it. Like, nice try. Things like that.

[Lily Sullivan]

Any kids?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Do you have kids?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know. No kids. I am, as they say, baron.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so sorry. I don't know if that's come up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I have it. I don't think it has. I have what is called no motility.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. Oh, really? So everything's dead in there?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just dead.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So they're all in there?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They're all in there floating around.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So. So belly up. Can you expel them?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I mean, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, there is.

[Scott Aukerman]

There is a way to do that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So I don't know how far you got in school.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just wanted to make sure that these aren't like sperms or multiple decades old.

[Lily Sullivan]

I'm kind of with you, Scott. It seems like they might just be living in there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I've had sex.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Okay, Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good.

[Lily Sullivan]

With all the women?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

With all the women, except for one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What happened?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There was one who was asexual. I married an asexual lady.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And did you know that going in?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I did know that going in. And I said, well, make it work. Well, we did make it work because then she started wanting sex. But not for me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long did that one last?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That one lasted five weeks. I think we'd still be together today. But she got struck by lightning and completely changed her personality.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did we talk about this in a previous episode?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think so.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

I think you would remember, Scott.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now I'm remembering some sort of frightening person.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't remember remembering some sort of struck by lightning.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's been almost 15 years at this point.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How many years? It's fun to do that.

[Lily Sullivan]

Who's the. Do you mind if I ask who the love of your life is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you currently married or are you current?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know you're currently divorced.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so sorry.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just was finalized yesterday, so I'm going to be probably, you know, alone for.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A little while and so, so sorry. Who is this person?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Her name was Gretchen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gretchen.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And we met in an airport lounge.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, really?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. A private lounge or was it extremely private lounge? How private are we talking parking?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's not visible to people at the airport.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You have to know where to look.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, all right. And was it. How many people were in this if it was that private?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There was three of us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just three of you?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Me, Gretchen and Captain Solis. A little burger.

[Scott Aukerman]

The hero of the Hudson.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've had him on this show though. He's. He saved so many souls that one day.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So many souls.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So what? So.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Gretchen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gretchen, I'm so sorry. So you got together at the airport lounge.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. On Christmas Eve. Eve.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On Christmas Eve. How romantic. So this is just recent.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It felt like a romantic comedy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was. Anything funny happening?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I guess not.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So just. But it felt like a romance.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It felt like the romance part of the romance. Which is not funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no. But the best part of a rom com, I would say.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What is the most laugh out loud romantic comedy, would you say, where you just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're busting a bus in a gut. I don't know. Jake, you've been in in your share of rom coms, haven't you?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You've been a rom combo.

[Lily Sullivan]

Cher, a bunch of them.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is exciting.

[Lily Sullivan]

We've been in a trilogy. We're filming the third one right now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Really?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, it's been really fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's a good kisser.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, she's wonderful.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She's such a trilogy.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, she. She's a great actor. She's been a lot of fun.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Her.

[Lily Sullivan]

She's got a wonderful voice. I don't know if you know that, but she's a singer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's a singer as well.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. She dances and her fashion is through the room.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I really beautiful her.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's going to be on Hulu Ch.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

God, I wish you could meet Cher because I'd love to meet her.

[Lily Sullivan]

Guys, guys. Shares in my car. That sounds wrong.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It does.

[Lily Sullivan]

She doesn't have the windows down. No, I've got. I've got a Tesla.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I got the egg of the sidewalk. Hot enough to fry. Shares bra.

[Lily Sullivan]

She is here though.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She can you.

[Lily Sullivan]

Do you want me to text, see.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If she can come in?

[Lily Sullivan]

I don't care. I can. I can ask her nervous.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You don't tell Cher. You don't tell.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't tell Sarah things. You ask her if she.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

I would say this. If you're gonna come in for the marriage, go slow. She's been hurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She believes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Lily Sullivan]

She believes in love, but you got to go slow.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. She could turn back time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Remember her on the boat with the big.

[Scott Aukerman]

She.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She. She famously said, if I could turn back time, not I can turn back time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I believe I said if. But, yes, you didn't.

[Lily Sullivan]

I do know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She could turn back.

[Lily Sullivan]

No, guys, guys. The original version is I can turn back on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[Lily Sullivan]

I know that. I talk to share about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is her bragging about her.

[Lily Sullivan]

No, that was her version, and it was an executive thing. We all hate executives. They said if you say I, you're going to alienate the audience.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't say. Don't say that. Who is that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's Maribel. This is alimony. Tony.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hello. Hello, dear. How are you? Are you single? Why is she staring at me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why isn't she talking to you?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know. She's just staring at me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did I say something wrong?

[Andy Daly]

So sorry.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hey, guys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tony. You know Tony.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know Tony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sony, of course, Tony. Tony, how you doing?

[Andy Daly]

How you do? We have the same kuma.

[Lily Sullivan]

Tony, Cher is a. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cher's coming.

[Lily Sullivan]

She's coming in.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is.

[Lily Sullivan]

She's excited. She's a big fan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tony, I think you better leave. Not you, Tony.

[Andy Daly]

I'm gonna get out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm gonna go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah. It's getting too crowded.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I want to be chair sucking.

[Lily Sullivan]

So I. I do need to just say this about Cher really quickly to you. As the guy wrote in the interview, no questions about her past, nothing about the wardrobe. Everything has to be very positive.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So nothing about the past? What about the present? Can we talk about the present?

[Lily Sullivan]

I wouldn't talk too much about the present. Future, potentially a little bit about the future. She likes things, if possible, sing songy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sing songy. Okay, well, I know, but I don't. I don't want to share.

[Andy Daly]

Oh, my words.

[Lily Sullivan]

How are you, honey?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hello, Cher. Nice to have you. You here.

[Andy Daly]

I love when people sing.

[Lily Sullivan]

Does he have to continue or can he talk regular because he's showing such respect?

[Andy Daly]

Ah, you can talk regular.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Cher, thank you so much. It's such a shake.

[Andy Daly]

So hot in the car.

[Lily Sullivan]

I'm sorry. Oh, I thought I turned the dog thing on.

[Andy Daly]

No, it's too hot.

[Lily Sullivan]

You're so sweaty.

[Andy Daly]

I'm so sweaty and wet.

[Lily Sullivan]

And you look beautiful.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Cher, may I say hello, My name is Tony Jacarote. I'm a huge fan of yours.

[Andy Daly]

Oh, hello.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's. It's just. Just thrill to meet you.

[Andy Daly]

That's nice.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And are you. I hope this is too forward a question. Are you currently single, chef?

[Andy Daly]

I am, yes. On tv.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, she. Well, a movie. We're shooting a romcom, and there's a lot of rumors about onset. What's happening? Yeah, there's a lot of, like, what's happening on set is going home with them. There's a lot of turmoil and.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it true or.

[Lily Sullivan]

We can't comment.

[Andy Daly]

We can't comment on that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But it's.

[Andy Daly]

That's true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is like, whoa. This is like.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, we can't comment.

[Andy Daly]

We can't comment on it, but it's definitely happening.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, it's like the Sydney, Sweeney. Glen Powell.

[Lily Sullivan]

Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, that's our competition because we're coming out this weekend, too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, you are?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, we're out. They've just dwarfed us a little bit.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And you're also going to mimic that. That. That trailer.

[Lily Sullivan]

We're doing the same bit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think everyone should.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, we did. It just didn't catch on. We have. And it just has, like, nine views.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I see.

[Lily Sullivan]

But we do the bet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's eight more than you have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get ready for number 10, Scott.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I felt like you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm just stating. No, we are friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

We like each other.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We like each other.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. We don't have a combative relationship.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, it's okay for you to josh me. I. I should have just opened skin.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's go back to Cher here.

[Andy Daly]

No, I'm gonna go sit in the car.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Andy Daly]

Let me sit in the car and.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sit across the car some more before you go.

[Lily Sullivan]

And I know we do this on set, and I know you love it.

[Andy Daly]

I love it so much.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Will you give him a taste?

[Lily Sullivan]

Taste of your beautiful singing? Because what she does is on set, she's being shy. But I know this woman.

[Andy Daly]

I'm so shy.

[Lily Sullivan]

When she gets pimped into a song, she acts like she doesn't love it, but then her voice is beautiful.

[Andy Daly]

Don't make me sing.

[Lily Sullivan]

Come on.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I hate it.

[Andy Daly]

Don't sing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Come on, pretty please show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, what song are you gonna sing?

[Andy Daly]

Oh, one of my classics. If I could turn back time if I could turn back.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, that's the Chev voice I know so well.

[Lily Sullivan]

Tony, do you sing I mean, I.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sing after a fashion.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Do one of your song parodies to. To. If I Could turn back time.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. So parody of shares. If I could turn back time. Let's see. So it's about turning back time that's impossible to do. What is something funny about impossibility. I'm going to say Impossible Burger. Hold on, hold on. You. You. My process incredible to see in person. Exifus pushing the rock up the hill. But then it comes back down. Thought it possibly does it. But then he has to do it again. Okay. What else is impossible Now Impossible Burger's in my brain. I can't get it out of there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hate. I'm sorry that I put that in.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm gonna have to go with.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's got to be something in there. Impossible Burger.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Possible burger.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Kind of nervous doing friendship. If maybe don't start with the same.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Word to make it maybe something rhymes with Tiff. Like Tiff or Scott.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You're really getting in my brain. Tiff, The Toronto International Film.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly. Maybe it's a song about Tiff you eating an impossible burger at Tiffany. And it costs a dime to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Tiff. I could stand in line.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's doing it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If I could get some food, I would get a false burger to watch the movie through.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Cher. I'm so sorry. Cher, baby, I've never done. I've never done a song parody of someone's song while the person was here. This is impossible.

[Andy Daly]

It's all good. I thought it was fantastic.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cher.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You liked that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Cher.

[Andy Daly]

Oh, I loved it. I loved every second. I love when men sing to me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I ask you a question? Do you find Alimony Tony attractive at all?

[Andy Daly]

Sure.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Andy Daly]

Share.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tony, can I talk to you for a second?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry, Sherry. Just take a break.

[Andy Daly]

It's all good. I'll go sit in the car.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, Jake, you can talk to Tony with me here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

I thought you're gonna have me go in a corner with.

[Andy Daly]

Come here. Come to the corner with me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no. Jake's coming with me. Over here. Over here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

Sharon, you got anything?

[Andy Daly]

I gotta.

[Lily Sullivan]

I'll go with.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Scott's an exotic snake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Tony, Jake and I to talk to you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's up? Locker room talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like.

[Lily Sullivan]

Doesn't feel like locker room.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Grab him by the. No, I think you have a shower.

[Lily Sullivan]

I do too, 100%.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But aren't you having an affair with her?

[Lily Sullivan]

No, we're just doing it for pr. I think you. I think she likes you. Likes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She genuinely likes you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Likes me? Likes me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Here's the problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think no court in this United States of America. Sher. Is so wealthy.

[Lily Sullivan]

Agree.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't think any court in the United States is going to award her alimony should you ever break up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You don't understand. Alimony's not the. About the legal system. Alimony is about me taking care of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know, but here's what's going to happen. This is what I worry is going to happen, right? You're gonna just dive head first into a relationship with Cher. Fall in love. You're.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You're already there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're gonna break up, and then the court will award you alimony, and suddenly you'll be paid out.

[Lily Sullivan]

And, Scott, it'll be so much. It'll cover six, 60 other ones and more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, look, look, look, look.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I appreciate the. I appreciate the gesture, gentlemen, but don't forget, I have more money than you could possibly imagine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, alimony. Tony is the inventor of what?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I didn't invent my mother. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What was it?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Gaseous paper.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gaseous paper? Paper that turns into gas once you write on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And what use it was for?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Use of the space program. So they wouldn't have a bunch of paper floating around.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. It was like directions of how to fly a rocket. Right. And then once they launched it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think I ever said that. That seems.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hey, can I get a moment? Scott, we don't need this anymore.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I would hope there's more training than that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Once it's up in the air, it just can dissolve.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hey, Scott, you really tickled yourself. I know that Cher likes guys who made all their money from their mother's inventions.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

Like, I know women, especially the older women, and that's a turn up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, there's a pop for every lid.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

I was hoping that Scott just heard that. Tony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah. I thought you were having a. That's why I did the.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hey, Whisper. Hey, Scott.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I'm sorry. Well, we're still standing in a tight circle.

[Lily Sullivan]

I know, but I was hoping that he could relay it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I couldn't help but hear it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm sorry.

[Lily Sullivan]

I went too.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, I promise.

[Lily Sullivan]

Okay, I understand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, alimony. Tony, Jake is really bugging me with this whole, like. Oh, sorry. Oh, wait, no, you're right here.

[Lily Sullivan]

You said, hey, Tony. I didn't listen. What'd you say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay. See, this is a polite guy.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, I didn't hear a thing you said, but I got a few things I want to pitch you about Tony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, Tony, you. I will. I guess Jake and I will give you our blessing if that's important to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, thank you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It is.

[Lily Sullivan]

That is what you asked.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I didn't want to ask.

[Lily Sullivan]

I will say that's how this whole thing started.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Of course. Let me ask. Let me ask officially.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott. Tony.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're Tony. No, you're Tony. This is Jake.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, I'm talking to Tony.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, Tony, get over here.

[Andy Daly]

What are we talking about? You guys want some pizzas?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And Jake.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would mean the world to me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you would give me your blessing in asking Cher for her hand in marriage.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, let's see. Should we give him our bless?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll tell you what. Does this answer your question? We will. We will. Does it?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I've heard all I need.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, thanks, guys. Number two.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey. There we go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This was very fun. That was a fun day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very, very fun.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I remember this. And I don't know, sometimes it's. It's. It's nice when there's fewer people because you have to. I don't know, you have to. You have to be kind of more on your toes because you have more of your share of time to fill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know, and in the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In the big gang episodes, you can kind of like, lean back and choose your moments because, you know, other people.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are going to chime in and like that. But. And also, Jake played along so well and was so game for everything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In fact, he was egging it on more than we were, in a way.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A lot of times.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And then Lily, like, it's. You know, it does happen on the show where somebody comes in with an idea and then something happens in the moment where they spontaneously say, oh, I'm going to do this now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And so Lily became Tony Sony.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is the birth of Tony Sony, which.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who, by the way, listening to this clip, Tony Sony's voice is so different at the beginning than what it becomes. Oh, really? Yes. It's pretty much just like, hi, I'm Tony Sony. And then as it progresses, it starts getting it as more. As you learn more and more about Tony Sony. Tony Sony is probably the breakout character of 2024. Probably Lily did Tony Sony and many other episodes as well, as did Tony Sony Live during the tour quite a.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bit where Tony Sony would do stand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Up, Tony Sony would do stand up, Tony Sony. We learned about Tony Soni's wife, who's an Olympian and a brain surgeon. No, it gave the bbls.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And called. There was a really funny. I think it was in Indianapolis. I can't remember where. Tim Baltz, who's married to Lily, was filming Righteous Gemstones through for most of the tour and could only do two. Two cities with us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But Lily would call him on stage a lot, and a lot of times Tim wouldn't even know who he was supposed to play and just be like, having Lily introduced, like, hi, honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's Tony Soni. Your husband.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And Tim would be thrown into playing Tony, Sony's wife. But there was a really funny.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And he would immediately.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, but there was a really funny episode where he had to play both Tony's wife and Goomah the goomah in separate phone calls. And Tim also would figure out what city Lily was in and figure out a bunch of fun facts about the cities and have those at the ready.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He would just work them into conversation and the crowd would go berserk. It was so funny every single time. So I gotta say, this is just a pitch for the. For the. For the tour episodes. We really had such a good time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We could do it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We did so many shows this year and so many different combos of people, and it was really, really fun. The crowds were great. And I. If. If you haven't, you should check them out. They're really enjoyable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. We did 43 tour episodes in addition to, I think 50, maybe 57 Comedy Bang Bang episodes, including the best of's. So that's a hundred episodes. But if you want to hear all the tour episodes, you just need to become a Maximus subscriber over at CBB World. And all of those are there. And we would put them up. Brett would always put them up within 24 hours or so of amazing turnaround. Yeah. But yeah, there's so many. And then also Tony Soni did our Madame Web. Scott hasn't seen episode. Because those were the Sony Spider man episodes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Definitely the. The number one character new character of the year. I think actually this episode almost was number one and was number one for a good number of weeks.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Until what ended up being.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you track it the whole time during the voting period?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I check it every 20 seconds, probably.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, that's. That's a lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Every 20 seconds for the entire period of voting. Yeah, that. That's really frequently.

[Vic Michaelis]

Really?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just want to make sure.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Like you're saying every 20 seconds.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's like less than.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not even every one alligator, two alligator, or three alligator. All the way up to 20 alligator.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So you're checking it 20 alligator? Yeah, every day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, every 20 alligator.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do I take off a day? No, I never take off a day. So every single day, an alarm when I go to sleep, for every 20 seconds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm exhausted.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I bet you are.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think you have to do that because how much does it fluctuate?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Pretty much. That was the only change.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. So you wasted a lot of time. You lost a lot of sleep. Waste a lot of time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. But hey, I love it when you love what you do. But hey, you never work a day in your life.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Bidet. You know what I say? I love it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, that was great. I, by the way, Alimony Tony. We heard from him you've done a couple alimony Tony Valimony Shoneys.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you, you were also doing Mirabel the Publicist. And at one point we tried to get alimony Tony talking to Mirabel, but you wouldn't do it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Did I not do it at all?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good for me. Good for you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Setting my boundaries.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Will we hear another Alimony Tony Vallimony Shoney this year?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think you can count on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope so.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I will. I will message the guests to make sure we can lock it down.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fantastic. All right, we're gonna take a break and when we come back, we're gonna hear the number one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But before we do that, Scott.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, boy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Different number one. This is your number one behind the scenes Out. Regarding Henry, Harrison Ford almost turned down the role due to concerns about being typecast as a lawyer, having recently played it was a different reasonably played one and presumed innocent but ultimately accepted after realizing Henry's lawyer aspect would only be present in the beginning of the film.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Guy has played Han Solo, Indiana Jones. He's an iconic movie star and people.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are gonna be like, oh, he's just a lawyer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's just a lawyer.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just give him lawyer parts. He' huge movie star. I can't see him as anything other than a lawyer. What a weirdo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's weird.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Probably high as hell when he.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope so. I hope he's high as hell now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I hope so too, man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have your number one episode as well as the climactic conclusion of the Snowman Game. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang. After this.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

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[Paul F. Tompkins]

Comedy bang bang. We are back, back the best of.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not for long, though.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not for long.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's winding down, baby.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are winding down. We only have one more clip to play. This is the best of 2024 part four. Which means we have arrived to it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We have arrived to it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You realize I've been talking now for five hours with a bad tongue.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know you got bad tongue.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I keep wincing in pain during. How many times have I winced in pain?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You've seen almost constantly. And you know, I'm a gentleman. I don't. I don't acknowledge it. I don't say, stop making that face.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't say, thank you so much.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't say, why don't you go to the doctor if it hurts so much?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doctor? What's a doctor gonna do? I read a tongue doctor.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They can make your tongue smaller. Oh, yeah, they shave off the hurt part. God, they get a cheese grater and they shave off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gross.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's an outpatient procedure. They hit you on the head with a hammer. They shave off the part. It's bad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. We got to do it, Paul.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know we do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We have a duty.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We have a duty to the listeners.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We could just quit and they would never know what the number one episode is.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, you know what, Scott? That's what's interesting is that we could have quit doing this at any time. Yeah, anytime. We don't owe these people anything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, they. They owe. If anything, they owe us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you want, we'll get into that for sure. But if you wanted to, you could say, by the way, we're not going to tell you what number one is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just for the of it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you figure it out yourself.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, figure it out. Why don't you guess?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why don't you hack into my computer? Nice setup, by the way.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should be telling people that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But we out of. Because we feel a sense of duty, commitment, honor. Honor. Obey. Cherish.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Semper fi.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Semper fu.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Semper foe.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Semper fu.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Semper fa.

[Scott Aukerman]

We did it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We did it all the vowel sounds.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it even though we.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don'T have to do it and we don't want to do it and we.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don'T know how to do it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So I can't read whatever this is, so I don't know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm illiterate.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it is time for it. We have to do it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Have to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We've come to your choice for episode number one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Number one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. Paul.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna do something different. I'm gonna give you the date first.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You've never done this before.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

February 12th of this year.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Two days before Valentine's Day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. So love is in the air.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're trying to decide who you're going to take to Valentine's Day dinner.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm thinking about presidents Lincoln and Washington.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're buying so many mattresses.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, then what else?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Episode number 850.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are you kidding me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I wouldn't kid about.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is the dead center of the 800s.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly in the middle. We've been dancing around it. Dancing between the raindrops.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This entire countdown, you said. Oh, that's so close to the center. That's so close to the center.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are in the center, baby.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is wild.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This. It's insanity.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm losing my mind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I need to be locked up in a rubber room.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Please put me in a straight jacket and then put my Napoleon hat on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You bought a Napoleon hat just for this purpose?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you ever went crazy, If I.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ever lose my mind, if I ever have some kind of episode, please put a Napoleon hat on me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope it has a chin strap.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Me too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. This is an episode called the Exorcism of Hot Dog.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Boy, oh, boy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Who do I recall this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. We have Jason Manzoukas. We have andy Daly and Mr. Paul F. Tompkins.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow. Do you remember this episode?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I remember that multiple characters appear in this episode.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There are many strange goings on. Some would say supernatural in nature. I remember that there was talk of a certain band.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

From a certain era.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That combines three different musical genre.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is where we establish and you'll hear it. We talked about Dread Zeppelin.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're going to hear the genesis of our talk about. I'll just leave it at that. Of us talking about.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do we explain in the clip.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What Dread Zeppelin is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay. All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So if you are new to comedy Bang Bang, We've been Doing this since I think, episode 200 where we've had Jason Manzukas and Andy Daly together on the show. I think in episode 200 was the one because Jason and Andy and I had been doing a bunch of episodes and then the 200th one, Jason had this idea of doing an intervention for Andy, and I think that was the one where everyone started jumping out the window. So then every hundredth episode on 300, 400, we return to Andy and Jason, and then we start doing it on the 50s as well. And then Andy started doing this character, Byron Denniston, Royal Watcher. Royal watcher. He had done it on this show a few times back when not a lot was going on with the royals. Basically a creep. Like there's these things, if you don't know what these are. In England, they have what are known as royal watchers, which are people who are just there to report on the comings and goings and behind the palace doors. And Andy took it to an extreme of here's a person who sneaks into their castle and watches them personally. So he'd been doing this for a while. And during COVID on the anniversary show of 2020, he was doing Byron Denniston. And Paul was there, set to be a different character. Mar was it Margaret?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Lavinia Marsh Carothers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Lavinia Marsh Carothers, otherwise known as Shevel Knievel.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Lady Daredevil.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. You were all set to do that. And Jason was on it with Andy And Andy, as the Royal Watcher started, we started talking about his. In the lore of these episodes, oh, my gosh, they were really getting down to. In the lore of these episodes, Byron Denniston wants to get married to one of the royals because they're all taking off in a spaceship and abandoning Earth before. Before it gets destroyed. He wants to marry a royal. We started going down the list of royals that he could possibly marry. There was one particular very attractive royal that we came upon. And in the moment, we found Lady Amelia Spencer. Lady Amelia Spencer, in the moment, we found out that she was engaged to a gentleman named the Grizz, which made us laug really hard. And we found out he was a water polo instructor. And it made us laugh really hard. And then Paul texted me and said, hey, should I just be the Grizz? And I said, yes, you should. And so neither Jason nor Andy knew that Paul was going to be the Grizz. And so Paul just like jumped onto the zoom and started going, well, well, well. Which it's funny when Andy is actually surprised by something. He was surprised by the intervention on episode 200, genuinely. But the look on his face where he was like, what is this? This is because he's a guy who. He's master improviser, but he always has sort of a plan in his mind and he can roll with anything. But it's very funny to be actually surprised. He was surprised by you being the Grizz and then you abandoned your other character and just played the grizzly the entire time, which is very, very, very funny. So then we continued as a foursome on the ,'undreds and the fifties, because this saga of Byron Dennison and the Grizz just kept expanding.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So this is episode 850. What had happened in between episode 800 and 850 is the king Charles got crowned.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, crowned. He has coronation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, coronation. And Andrew Lloyd Webber, who you have also played as long as the show's been going on, was entwined with a coronation because he was writing a song for the coronation. And as the coronation was happening, everyone starts sending us pictures of Andrew Lloyd Webber next to a particular gentleman who looked like a man in disguise. And everyone was saying, this is Byron Dennison in disguise. So that is how this starts. Yeah. In addition to talking about Dread Zeppelin, that's how this starts. We then switched. You guys switch characters to a bunch of things. Let's just hear it. This is your choice for episode number one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Number one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, Jason, it's great to have you. We do need to get to our first guest. Oh, wow.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right.

[Vic Michaelis]

I would love to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We actually. It's first guests, if that's okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Why not?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because they're here together. We last spoke to them, I believe it was episode somewhere around 799 or 801. Somewhere around there. Somewhere. Somewhere in that realm, in that range. They attended the coronation together, of course.

[Vic Michaelis]

Please welcome of the new king.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of the new King Charles. King Charles. And we want to catch up with him, see what's been going on. But please welcome back to the show Byron Dennis. I wanted to say Byron Donaldson. That's someone different. But Byron Denniston is here and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, hello.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't know. I was introduced second.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am a lord.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I beg your pardon? Well, don't they say save the best for last?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Scott, Rick, you've done it again, guys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's one. Or chaps, rather. It's wonderful to have you back. You. Now, I don't know that you knew each other on the last episode, or maybe you did. I can't remember but it seems like you're close friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't necessarily measure time by episodes, you and I, but.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, we don't. I sort of measure it by the days of my life. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I, I, we, we met quite a while ago, I think. You know, I, I presented myself as a, a very wealthy backer of West End shows. And it took several months before you realized? I wasn't really. But by then we were friends.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, not at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

He hoped to go to shows for.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Free so that he could see royals there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ah, I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wanted to go on the nights when the royals would be there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So those were normally the premier nights, I would think. Or are they going like, you know, five weeks later when the cast is settled in?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

They're very cany, the royals. They do wait a bit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do they really?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, let's, let's let them find their feet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They say, how interesting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sorry to excite you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. But, you know, I, I always wanted to be in the audience when the royals were there with a clear view of the royals and simply watching them the entire time and never the show.

[Vic Michaelis]

And that's your show. The show you're there to watch is them watching the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. That doesn't go down so well with lol.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Were you requesting that Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber turn an entire seat around facing the other way? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right in front of them. A row. Right in front of them. It's almost like when you ride a train. Right. Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I wish he had requested it rather than just did it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yes, I brought some power tools along and I sort of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Those are the best kind of tools for this kind of situation.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The look of shock on the face of Betty Buckley walking out there and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seeing one theater seat turned around with.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Sawdust still on the floor for where he's saw it from the, from its.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very moorings, like it was some sort of bar with sawdust on the floor or something. A draft house. All right, Byron, you, you attended the, the coronation, is that. I think we were talking to you beforehand.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's, that's what I was trying to remember.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or was it after?

[Vic Michaelis]

I think it was prior to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you debuted the song that you were going to have. Song? Lloyd Weber.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did this all go over everything?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it was, it was fascinating. I had to get into, into sort of an elaborate disguise.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, you don't say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Just to sort of pass myself off as someone else. But I sat with the Lord Webber and we had a lovely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. I think we. I think we saw pictures of this. You were next to Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In some sort of like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I hope.

[Vic Michaelis]

Did you have a mustache?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Some sort of like Monty Python. Mr. Creos costume?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The Disguisest disguise.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, anyone has ever seen.

[Vic Michaelis]

Disguisey from Master of Disguise.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know about this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like the Mr. Turtle, guys.

[Vic Michaelis]

The character's name is Pistachio Disguisey.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Absolute best makeup department available. And Rick Baker did this for you. Yes, Baker and the absolute best. Best wig maker.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did Rick Baker still have some of the clump stuff lying around? You were just like, look, I'm going to wear clothes over it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Clump stuff.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The Clumps. You're not familiar with the Clumps starring.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murther? They're in that film.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Wonderful. I have to tell you, I've been, since the coronation, a bit bored with.

[Vic Michaelis]

The royals, I was going to say. Are there any, like. You've also, it seems like, been spending quite a lot of time stateside here. Have you found any local people to decide to get into? It sounds like you're getting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, Howie Mandel is kind of the king of comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

American royalty, as close as it comes. Yeah. Used to be the Kennedys, but I'm afraid the crown is rather charming. They've been usurped. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Careful, you're talking about someone from the comedy community.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you? Cheryl Hines husband.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. We. We protect our own.

[Vic Michaelis]

That's a bad idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

She doesn't disagree. She doesn't agree with him on everything. She's been very clear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

She's okay with everything that's going on, though currently it seems like she just.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Says, look, my husband and I were different people. We have different thoughts. He's insane. Not.

[Vic Michaelis]

Or maybe I'm just someone who loves being married to an insane person.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't both have to be sane in order to be married, Right? Of course not. Art.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So. So, yeah, I mean, there's not been a lot going on. Byron, there. I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, there wasn't for quite a while. And I. I began to get into. Well, Lloyd Web and I have been heavily into competitive jigsaw. Puzzling. Yes. We've been doing that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Watching other people do it or doing it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Doing it ourselves.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All of it. I mean, we've. We've jigsawed against one another.

[Scott Aukerman]

Indeed. Then we've teamed up to jigsaw against another team. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Against one another. Is it like someone puts down a piece and the other person just takes it out?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's pretty much.

[Vic Michaelis]

Is it. And is there. Is there like a chess clock?

[Scott Aukerman]

That is.

[Vic Michaelis]

You put a piece in, hit the clock, boom, boom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The other person takes out, throws it away.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Or you can't throw it away. You don't do that with chess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Puts it in the. In the pieces and mixes them up.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, but you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Then you put in a piece. It cannot be the same piece. Ah, different piece.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very interesting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, this is. This sounds fascinating.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We've also started watching all the Saw films together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, they're amazing. Oh, that Jigsaw. What next? He's cheeky.

[Vic Michaelis]

I know, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cheeky monkey.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Saw one through eight, and then Jigsaw and then Saw X.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

So how far have you gotten into the Jigsaw films? How many are there? There's about halfway through. But you know what? I messed up. And I watched the most recent one after watching the second.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Chronologically, it comes in between 1 and 2, so it does.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I watch it between you and three. I know.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why didn't you tell me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I felt ashamed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How did you guys get into this? Did. Did someone say, do you want to play a game? Referring to puzzles. And the other person said, oh, the Saw films just put.

[Scott Aukerman]

It happened rather organically.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes, it did.

[Scott Aukerman]

I said, I'm such a huge fan of Jigsaws. And you said, well, then we should watch this. And then. And you were a bit confused. Yes. And I had meant the jigsaw puzzle and you had meant the Jigsaw character. And these are the sorts of things we get up to.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was a real. Chocolate and peanut butter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very much so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you living together or.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We're living now. We have houses next door to one another.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, you know, it's just the way I want it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I had a spot of bother recently.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You don't say.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

There was a poltergeist in my home.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, wow.

[Andy Daly]

Yes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I had to hire an exorcist. Here's what would happen. I would be in my home, and then, you know, I have scripts lying around out. And then I would go into. I would.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would leave a room, go into.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A room, and then the script would.

[Scott Aukerman]

Be in a neat pile. Can you imagine anything more chilling than that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It sounds to me like Byron was coming over and visiting and just like, rearranging.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that so? But, well, I was ashamed and didn't want. I have a thing for neatening up. I just do.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I. I do appreciate it, but I did. I am terrified of the supernatural, so I did call an exorcist to come in and I shouldn't have given him the credit. I suppose it was Byron doing this all along.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give him the credit because he did ask me to stop coming into your house unannounced.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I did find that he.

[Scott Aukerman]

After the fact, he was the worst.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Exorcist I could have hired from hell.

[Vic Michaelis]

Because he put it. He put something in there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, he's just incompetent. Oh, okay. I looked in the Guinness Book of World Records.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, oh, we know that guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I know. Somebody works.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's the leader.

[Scott Aukerman]

Least successful exorcist, the least success.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Usually they get Padre Davide benvenuto.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that guy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, we. Our friend was talking about him.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's actually caused more people to become possessed than he has exorcised demons.

[Scott Aukerman]

Remarkable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's in the book. Do you know. Have you ever met this person that we're talking about? I do think Fred Guinness.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Fred Guinness. I think I have met.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have met Fred? Yes, I do remember.

[Scott Aukerman]

Quite.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, well, he was over the phone. He lives in. In Ireland.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think I've met him, have I?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Vic Michaelis]

D. We give my call.

[Scott Aukerman]

We could.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We could call Fred G. Call him.

[Vic Michaelis]

He always takes the call.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, let me. Let me see if I hear. Okay, let me. I'm dialing the phone. Why are you saying beep boop while I'm trying dialing the phone?

[Vic Michaelis]

I was nervous the. The listener wouldn't know that we were making.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They're hearing it as I call. Yeah, it's ringing. Still ringing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Forget us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hi, Freddie.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Scotty.

[Vic Michaelis]

Hey, buddy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's going on? Is that Jason I hear?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jason's here with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jason.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hello.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Guess who else is here.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is this what I sound like?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't remember.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Maybe I sound more like this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Yeah. Who else is there?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Who else you got?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Byron Dennison is here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Byron, Royal watcher.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice. Nice to make your acquaintance again, Byron.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lovely. Now, what's going on, guys?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we also have someone else here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you in the book? Andrew Lloyd Webber? I would think you would be most successful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Longest running.

[Vic Michaelis]

Longest running show, maybe.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I did hold that record for quite.

[Scott Aukerman]

A while for Les Mis. Wonderful. I love his Les Miz. As my. That's your. That's my favorite of your shows, Andrew Lloyd. Not one of mine.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. Hello.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a pleasure to meet you. Well, the pleasure is mine.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're. You're a lord? Yes, I am, but not the Lord.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm not religious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So, yeah, you do hold the record.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

For most successful person to have an absolute flop on Broadway. Don't remind me.

[Scott Aukerman]

And everyone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God. We were talking about bad Cinderella. Cinderella, that's correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was so bad about her ticket sales?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Very funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But, Byron, tell us. I wanted to ask you about something because this made the news recently and it sort of piqued my interest, but there is something going on with the royals.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, indeed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Some sort of hospital stay for two of the royals.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, indeed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fill me in. What exactly is happening?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, all right. So, you know, I noticed things were rather quiet amongst the royals. You know, it sort of seems as though. As though Harry and Meghan had sort of gone off and done their thing and whatnot. And the Queen Elizabeth is doing a very good job of keeping a low profile and staying in hiding.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A few people have seen her, like the Loch Ness monster here and there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right. But she's really kept a low profile and.

[Vic Michaelis]

Scott, what are you doing?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know.

[Vic Michaelis]

Turn the dings off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, I'm just trying.

[Vic Michaelis]

So many dings.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Trying to turn these dings off. But. So, yeah, there have been a few sightings. Like Bigfoot or what? Have you watched the words?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What is this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, you really need to turn off the dings. Oh, for heaven's sake.

[Vic Michaelis]

What are you getting? What message is that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is.

[Vic Michaelis]

What message do you get that has a choo choo?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I seriously think it's on. Do not disturb. I don't know what's happening right here. I don't know what that.

[Vic Michaelis]

That one was suspenseful.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, these are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you updated to the new operating system?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, August, you're back. Thank God. Yeah, I can give you help. Thank God, because I. I honestly don't know what I'm doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gotta press folk. I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Focus.

[Vic Michaelis]

Did you work in the IT department at Schmeiderberg Pretzels?

[Scott Aukerman]

Briefly. Yeah, I did, you know, because I was on suspension.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, they're.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, they suspended me from soldiers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't know what's happening. I don't know who's trying to contact me here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, wait, wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I just read my messages.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know who's messaging you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, this guy. I know this guy. His. His name is.

[Scott Aukerman]

It doesn't come up there on the message.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I just. I know him by a different name. I know him by his nickname, but this guy, the Grizz, it's trying to mess.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, we all know him.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. What The Grizz?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

From what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I think he. I need to unlock the door. Sorry, the Grizz has been trying to get in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't unlock the door. Don't unlock it. Actually, keep it locked.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I need to unlock the G. Gates, Unlike. This is the anti. Wtf. I need to unlock the gates. Here, let me just. Let me just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God. Oh, for Christ's sake. Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no, it just got.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, guys.

[Vic Michaelis]

Just got dark out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, well, well. And I live and breathe.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sorry, guys. This is my friend Greg.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's me. Greg. In it. Yes, Mr. Mallet, aka the Grizz.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know each other?

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

We've had innumerable dealings where the Grizz and I, here and there and all around. Matter of fact, you know, there was a time when he and I were vying for the same lady. Amelia Spencer. Infected. And I'm sorry to say that since the last time we've spoken to you, they have, in fact, become married.

[Vic Michaelis]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Vic Michaelis]

Congrats.

[Scott Aukerman]

They've known. Ronald.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Greg.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you. That's so. I mean, I didn't know. I. I didn't get an invite, I guess.

[Vic Michaelis]

No, I didn't either.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Vic Michaelis]

And we've met a bunch of times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You guys met too?

[Scott Aukerman]

I forgot. You invite everybody you've ever met to your wedding?

[Vic Michaelis]

I think so. I think that's how it works.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If. If you had to, it would probably be, what, like, 500 people tops, right?

[Vic Michaelis]

Max, I did HBO.

[Scott Aukerman]

Max. I did invite HBO.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Max.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's my. He's my mate. What has HBO. I. I was at the wedding, of course, at Grizz's behest. I was compelled to. Made him watch.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you get to object?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. No. Oh, no. Not only was I made to watch, I dared him to object. Yes, I did take a big, long pause. Well, he made me be the ring bearer.

[Vic Michaelis]

Did he make you turn your seat around to face everybody?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Away from the bride.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. So I could see the tears streaming down his face. It was just. The entire day was devoted to humiliating me. The number of references and the vows that they wrote, the two of them, to me, was striking. People cry. I think they were crying in sympathy with me. In fact. It was so sad. No, I mean, they were crying, laughing. They've never seen anyone. Soon, horribly defeated and humiliated.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was really an entire wedding weekend devoted to humiliating me. I had to serve drinks at the cocktail affair.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Vic Michaelis]

So you were, like, employed, but not for money.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just to avoid Being whipped. It was terrible. Several wardrobe changes throughout the day.

[Vic Michaelis]

Like what? Like silly, silly clothes. What were they? What were they?

[Scott Aukerman]

Depending on the occupation.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, of course, of course. First.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. A lovely little pitiful. When he brought the ring down the aisle.

[Vic Michaelis]

Wow. So you were really integrated into the ceremony.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very much so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Almost where it was more about you than it was about the couple.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's certainly how it felt to me. He had to give a best man speech that I wrote without the luxury of being the best man even. But yes, I had to give a best man speech and he wrote it. And it was only full of insults toward myself.

[Vic Michaelis]

I wish we had that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so sorry, but this is now reminding me. You guys have been on the show together a few times. Yes, my friend Greg has been. Yeah. I got to know you through this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're friends. We like each other.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, we like each other. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Remarkable how anyone could like Greg Mallet. The Grizz.

[Vic Michaelis]

Come on, man. He's the Griz. I've only met him a couple times here at the show, but the dude's a blast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's a water polo champion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nobody beats the Grizz.

[Vic Michaelis]

Nobody beats the Grizz. You know, that's the T shirt.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, but that is true, you know. He is a water polo inspector.

[Vic Michaelis]

Inspector?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, did you. Did you get a promotion?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

Is that a. Is that a department of the British police?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. It's under the ages of the crowd.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, is it the Ministry of Water Polo?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Wow. Are you looking at the new minister? Her Majesty. His Majesty's new Minister of Water Polo. Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Congratulations.

[Vic Michaelis]

So are you in charge of water polo or inspecting water polo based crops?

[Scott Aukerman]

Bangs?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, both.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll look around a water polo pitch and I'll say, look, ship shape to me, okay? And then somebody says, so play on. There's been a murder. We suspect water polo foul play by waterfowl sometimes. Then I have to consult me old mate Shedley. Sully Sullenberger.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, you don't you know Sully Sully?

[Scott Aukerman]

Course I do. Hero of the oxen. He is. Yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

So if you have some sort of goose related problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Indeed. You got you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How often is it a goose related problem?

[Scott Aukerman]

Four out of five.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I would think so.

[Vic Michaelis]

So you've got his wily creatures.

[Scott Aukerman]

Geese hate people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We. We were talking. We're talking about Sully on a recent episode about how what people don't know about that miracle on the Hudson is every single people every Single person, every single people, every single person, every single soul that he saved had to get one of their limbs out, amputated, if not both. Yeah. Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

It was so cold that they lost their feet. The frost bite, didn't they? So cold in the Hudson. Yes, but you'd rather be them than the geese, I dare say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. In any case, I'm. I'm so sorry. I didn't. I did. I didn't remember, honestly, that there was some drama between you two guys in.

[Scott Aukerman]

The article, by the way, about your wedding. Grizz, you are mentioned as. Not in this article as an inspector or instructor of water polo, but as a lifestyle coach. What is that?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You don't know what that is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Or in need of a lifestyle coke.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that would be great. Would you take on Byron as a client?

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course I would. Really? I'll be glad to. What would you do for me? I think my lifestyle is wonderful. Can I talk to you for a second?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Jason and I want to talk to you. Hold on, Greg. I'll. I'll be right with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll just be over here in this puddle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Byron.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's an opportunity for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What sort of an opportunity?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hire him as your lifestyle coach.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then he'll teach you about his lifestyle and you can just take his place.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Once he gives you all of the secrets.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I can call Rick.

[Lily Sullivan]

Sorry.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, just passing by. I'm Greg Nicotero.

[Vic Michaelis]

I was just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Greg.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yes, from the water.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not you, Greg. Not you, Greg.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I, I. Well, I heard people talking about special effects makeup and I thought.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, yes, yes. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't think about you, Greg.

[Vic Michaelis]

Incredible. Greg Nicotera from the. From countless other incredible productions with none.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which we can name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Greg, may I ask you, did you see the gentleman sitting next to Andrew Lloyd Webber at the Coronation of the Queen?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. That was you, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Isn't that amazing? Give me your critique of that makeup work.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, it sort of looked like to me that you were trying to let people know you were wearing a disguise.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, I wasn't at all.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It didn't look very natural. It looked so cartoonish. And it just seemed like. Well, no actual human being looks like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, look at that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know, it was almost a Tony Clifton.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What would you have done differently?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but that was a real person. Tony Clifton was a real person.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. What would you have done differently, though?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's still around. I guess that's true. Yeah. I would have done a shorter wig. I would have done a more human scale.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was like a mustache, wasn't it?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah, it was like a Dutch boy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I would have done a more human scaled mustache. And probably, you know, glasses that you can wear at night. You know, like see through glasses as opposed to those tinted frames. You wore tinted glasses that look like.

[Scott Aukerman]

They'Re there to hide. Sort of a Paul job on the.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Eyes really look like Tony Clifton really did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vic Michaelis]

The powder blue tuxedo.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That didn't help doing those jokes.

[Vic Michaelis]

My only concern, I'll be honest for. For you, Greg, was do would be in. In transforming Byron into. And again, I don't think the Grizz is listing the Grizz.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, no, he's in the.

[Vic Michaelis]

Would he splash on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Touch the box. Okay.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, nice.

[Andy Daly]

The Grizz is in the pool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, hey, Hot Dog. I forgot you were here.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a real good song.

[Vic Michaelis]

Seems genuinely miserable to be here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm so sorry.

[Vic Michaelis]

I feel like Hot dog would rather Byron Dennis than be getting the attention.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, Byron. You're very quiet, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, I think he's doing wonderfully well. You know, think about it. I am summoned out of a clear blue sky.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you wait? You're just in the middle of the sky when I summon you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What you don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm looking down on earth.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What? Wow. We have not talked about this at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never asked where I was. You want to know all about his mug washing? You never asked where I was when you summoned me.

[Vic Michaelis]

So true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are up in the heavens.

[Vic Michaelis]

We say, what's up, hot dog? You arrive and we never ask you where you just were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, if. If you guys would ever do me the favor of unsummoning me, what would happen is I just convert into mist and I. I float around in the atmosphere. That's what I. And then when you summon me, I become corporeal again and I'm a hot dog.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Vic Michaelis]

Whoa. So you are almost like a spirit or a poltergeist in some ways, I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

I.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am definitely missed. I'm like evaporated water. I am. Somebody say poltergeist.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Poltergeist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's this?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I thought I heard poltergeist dimension.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, this is the father, David.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, right, right, right, right. We went.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you need a ghost? Busted.

[Vic Michaelis]

Is this an ad break busting it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Makes me feel good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you afraid of ghosts?

[Vic Michaelis]

This seems like an afraid of ghosts.

[Scott Aukerman]

I ain't afraid of no ghosts. I think you're going to have a hard time. People go, who you going to call? And then your name. Because it's very ingrained to say, who are you going to call?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ghostbusters. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your name? Padre David Venuto.

[Vic Michaelis]

Can you put that into the song?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who are you gonna call when there's.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Somebody strange in your neighborhood who you want to call? Padre Davide Benvenuto.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It doesn't really roll off the top, but.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, how about this? What if it was to a reggae? What if it had.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if Jean Ana did Ghostbusters as one of their songs?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's a great idea.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, at this point, Ghostbusters is older than 50s rock and roll was to Shauna and all themselves.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What, kid?

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What do you mean true?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, shout and I came together in like 1968. And so that was about seven years after the music that they were.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So Ghostbusters was 40 years ago this year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, that's crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So it's older than the music of the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, that's cool.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Technically. Yeah. When you really think about it, when.

[Vic Michaelis]

You drill down into it, it's older. 40 years ago is still older than the 50s.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, you guys are blowing my mind.

[Vic Michaelis]

I know. We just have to explain to you because you're mostly miss.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you guys. What's that?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You guys is possessed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no, I wouldn't perform it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm gonna have to perform an exercise now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We.

[Vic Michaelis]

We didn't summon this guy. But you arrived on your Vespa. See, I noticed this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And you're not missed before you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I ride the Vespa ever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I ride to other country.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you're not missed before you come here. I mean, yeah, when we say that M I S T not M I.

[Scott Aukerman]

S S E D. Oh, I know I'm not missed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. Hot dog. Hot dog. I think hot dog might need an exorcism. Honestly, I don't know what's going on with hot dog.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Who wants to it for you? Why you looking so sad?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a nicer place.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's not so bad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, shut up.

[Scott Aukerman]

In your face again.

[Vic Michaelis]

If you're listening to this episode and you weren't born in the early 70s or late 60s, you have no idea what's going on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I And excuse me, Cal. I, I, I need to talk to hot. I'm still here.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But, but, but.

[Vic Michaelis]

And the Grizz.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Grizz.

[Vic Michaelis]

Who would have thought the Grizz would get so little air time?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think. I think, Hot Dog, there's something going on with you, and it. You know, it may benefit you to perform an exorcism on you, because I've never seen you like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think I might have a ghost in me?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or what? Is it a devil? You got a demon. It's a demon, Hot Dog, you got.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A demon in you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I wouldn't be surprised.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You know, some people say I got.

[Scott Aukerman]

That demon in me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, I've never heard anybody say that, but I. I believe that I might have a demon.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's a big expression in a exorcism service.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When did you start feeling like this? Was this. At some sometime around the last time you spoke to Shana, perhaps?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yeah, I had. I had a really bad conversation with those guys, with Screaming Scott and Donnie. They were real mean to me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Do you say Shannon? Oh, what did you say Shannon?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. All possessed. No, no, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. I mean, honestly, Jason, we've. We've suspected this for a while.

[Vic Michaelis]

I'm not surprised by that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, they are trying to bring about hell on earth and.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, Screaming Dirty Dan, John Bowser, Bow.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're all possessed.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All possessed by demons.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I mean, I know that they were in league with the devil and working for the devil, but possessed?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, really? Spl.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He went. He finally went all the way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And so. So, Padre, do you think that perhaps when he tried to audition for Shannon, that he invited this poltergeist or devil in. In inside of him?

[Scott Aukerman]

Almost certainly. Well, part of the audition was drawing a pentagram with my blood and then having me jerk off on a parchment.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Whoa.

[Vic Michaelis]

That is your soul's signature.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, what do you mean that's. Where did they get you? Oh, no. Oh, I thought it was just a weird kink.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Always have a lawyer. Look at the concept contract. I have it anytime I sign a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Contract that my lawyer cross at the part where I got to jerk off.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

On the part, I said just put.

[Scott Aukerman]

A line right through that. That's smart.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just redline it. So what. What do you suggest we do here?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Everybody got to pray.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whether you believe or not, it does not matter.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you can pray in Latin. The best I don't get.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Jason, can you pray in Latin?

[Vic Michaelis]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What's your favorite prayer?

[Vic Michaelis]

I think the only prayer I know is the Lord's Prayer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know. God is good. God is great. Oh, I guess I don't know it. What's the one where God looks good.

[Scott Aukerman]

God is great. Come on, God.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I just can't wait.

[Vic Michaelis]

Let me eat this food on my plate. What is this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I know all Hell, rock and roll.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, that's a cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hell, Hell, rock and roll. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

If you, if you pretend that rock and roll is a God either rock and roll a God to you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Absolutely.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You pray that no matter what happened, you pray that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So this is like a 12 step program where you don't have to believe in God necessarily, as much as something can.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever God means to you. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm not real strict about it, you know.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, that's so.

[Vic Michaelis]

Well, also the rock gods are there to be worshiped.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure. Ronnie James Dio, Jimi Hendrix, Dread Zeppelin.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are you talking about a dread Zeppelin?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, of course you do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're older. Yeah. So do you want to perform this exorcist?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, so you say God is.

[Scott Aukerman]

God is good. God is great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You say the Lord is praying.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You say he'll hail. Rock and roll.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I will perform at the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't have to this one now if you don't mind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah. Greg, you Greg. Greg and Greg.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm more spiritual than religious.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, great. Good to know. All right, here we go. Ready? Okay. In three, two, one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What is the countdown?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're all, we're all gonna pray.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You never recorded me to do a countdown, but that's a good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. Yes. Here we go. Three, two, one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Hell, Hell.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rock and roll demon. I'm gonna tell you right now, you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Better get out of there.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm. You making me mad, demons.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm gonna get a mad, I'm gonna get so mad at you and I, I, I call on God to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get out of there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, here he goes. Oh my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh my God. Oh, it's working. It's working.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Demon, get out of there. Hot dog, you better get out of there.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a hot dog shaped demon getting out the girl.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh my God.

[Vic Michaelis]

Dr. Mellow's been in hot dog this whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've seen it, this demon before. So have I. Oh, it's you again. Father Benudo. Bonudo de don. The bello pisan.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You gotta get out of there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Leave it a hot dog alone. No, it's good in here. I like it when it becomes the mist and then I can be everywhere.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You got your own body. Why don't you stay in there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you seen my body? Yeah, good point. It's not so Good. These days I do it try in Pilates.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, good.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's not. It's terrible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, you don't look great, I have to admit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you for making my point for me. Not. But it's not a compliment. I'm not thanking you for the compliment.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I understand.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I command you to leave with the body of a hot dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen, you're barking up the wrong tree because I myself am possessed by a demon.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Oh, no.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's like a babushka. Exactly.

[Vic Michaelis]

Okay, wait.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Three, two, one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Our Father demon inside the mellow Double demon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get out of there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I tell you right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

You better get out of there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Get out of that demon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Double demon.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Get out.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's me, Golly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, Golly.

[Scott Aukerman]

The original demon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Whoa.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How's it going, Po boy?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Golly is a demon.

[Vic Michaelis]

That a ventriloquism. Ventriloquist dummy come to life. A paragon of evil.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

I need you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This guy, he's above my pay grade.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You can't deal with him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've defeated him again and again.

[Vic Michaelis]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

I destroy him.

[Vic Michaelis]

I've never seen Father Bienvenuto seeming so scared.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

How many you just met?

[Vic Michaelis]

Well, I've never seen you so scared since I just died.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

You got me.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never seen anybody so scared. Look at him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God. What do we do, guys? What do we do? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Has anyone ever tried saying Golly's name backwards? Don't even try it. Okay, let's try it. Can't be done.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm finally free.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Has anyone tried saying Don Demello's name backwards?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think that can be done.

[Vic Michaelis]

Only met Mod.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel fantastic. Oh, hot dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Finally free.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're gonna say your name backwards.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can finally leave Docto.

[Scott Aukerman]

He seems to be gone number one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What fun.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What fun we had.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is where the Saw.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Film thing is established.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And so we're talking about, you know, getting into that. Andrew Lloyd Webber and Byron Denison are jigsaw puzzlers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you're competitive jigsaw puzzlers.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And we like jigsaw so much that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You started watching the Saw movies.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And I. I had thought that we mentioned the idea of a watch along in the episode. And then when I went back and listened to it again, I realized. No, we just talked about that off mic. I think I just. I think I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

After the episode. Yeah, you Were like, hey, we should do a Saw watch along thing.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And then Halloween was coming up and I was like, let's do that saw watch along. And so Andy and I went to Brett's house and Brett Morris's house and watched Saw, which I had seen before. I think both of us had seen it before.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Right. And I had recently watched it for Scott hasn't seen.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. And we established that the characters had seen it before.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Because in. In this episode, in the clip. Clip, we just heard you guys say that you've seen them all.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So to be watching that movie with him, with both, Both of us in character was so craz. It was so weird. It's so much fun. And also we recorded it in the middle of the afternoon. And so much of that movie is dark.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. We couldn't see shit because it's bright.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. But it was. It was a ball. And we decided. I mean, I. I think Andy's into this as well, but we are dedicated to doing. Doing one for every Halloween.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's fantastic.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

As long as they keep making song movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They never stop. You'll just have to keep going. You switched to doing Fred Guinness, who.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We also never stop making Saw movies.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They have to stop at some point.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But what if they never do?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, no. You'll have to live forever.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Our children's children. Our children's children's children.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you imagine?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's the One franchise.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hundreds of years later, Saw movies are still going on hundreds of years. You switched to Fred Guinness.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then August Lindt came in, which is a callback to me having problems with all the dings. You were providing all these dings, by the way.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So one of my favorite things to do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then Hot Dog comes in the Grizz, Greg Nicotero, Padre Dave, Davide, Benvenuto. And then of course, we have Golly at the end, which Andy just did Gil and Gali live on stage in our final tour episode of 2024. And it was very funny because I had never seen Andy. I mean, I'd seen obviously Andy doing Gil and Golly during a podcast, but he had a live on stage. He had a physicality to him that I was like, oh, Andy, is that how you, when you originated the character? Is that the physicality that you did? He said, oh, I've never done it on stage before. So that was the first time he'd ever done it in front of a live audience, which I thought was very, very cool. Cool.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was great. You know, Lauren and I. Lauren Lapkis and I were talking at dinner about Andy and how amazing he was that night and how he is. Andy is great in. In. In improv at having a game but not making it feel like a game. It doesn't feel like. Like rote, like, oh, I have to get back to my thing. It just always. It feels like a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It feels like he'd be fine abandoning the game.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the characters feel really fleshed out, and he stays in his characters really well. And, you know, because a lot of. There's a kind of, like a podcast improv now, which is a separate sort of improv where you don't necessarily stay in character the whole time. And there's a lot of wink on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Stage a bit too, where people kind of laugh in scenes sometimes. Oh, sure.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But I think it's. It's definitely as. As podcasting has evolved, I think that's become a specific kind of thing that. That. That improvisers can let themselves do. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But Andy, for a long while, he was never breaking character, even in podcasts now he kind of laughs during them sometimes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Or he, like, says something that's part of his own life or his own experience in the guise of the character. But we were talking about how, you know, just how amazing he is and also how the. The dark things that he comes up with, the things that he says for someone who doesn't seem to be a dark person at all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

But realizing, like, he has these thoughts in him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Scary.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's. It's a little spooky, but it's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's so.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's so funny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's so.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He's brilliant.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was. It's such a good episode. Listening to that clip just. I mean, the entire episode is great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We could only cut it down to that much, and hopefully that's a representative bias. But it's so good.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It was really fun to relisten to when I was getting ready for the Saw thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So good. I think a truly. And like I said, it was that or so New York. We're kind of going back and forth for a while. I think Exorcism of Hot Dog started running away with it towards the end of the voting period. But, yeah, great episodes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Great episodes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Fun stuff.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Really good.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Should we do some stats?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, my God, I forgot about stats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please. Yeah. Okay, so let's talk about months and how many episodes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Forget about months.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. So November now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Ciao, Ciao, ciao.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's only one episode eligible from November 2023 and then three from November 2024. None of those made it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People hated November episodes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

A November to forget Burr.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

December though to remember of 2023. One episode made it January. Two episodes from January made it February one, March one, April second. April always has the anniversary. So that. No, that's May. Sorry, no. So April had two. I'm the April fool. May has the anniversary. That had one. That was the anniversary. June had zero.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

June. People hated it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People hated it. July had one. August had one. September had one. October had three. And they were episodes 886, 887 and 888.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

What a run.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Three in a row. That was the Christian Brune one, then the Tatiana one and then the Halloween one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Out those three in a row.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Amazing. An amazing three weeks for podcast.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

An amazing three weeks. Let's talk about the performers involved who are in these. A bunch of people were in one episode that cracked the top 14.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Did anybody make it to the oh, Ben Rogers, first time right in the countdown.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't the best and he's in two. Ah, I'm not sure. I definitely Jake Johnson.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, his first time people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, we don't kill those people.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

He'll never be back.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hope so. If I see him on the beach, I expect to see him back in this studio. Return tap Charlie McCracken. I don't think he's ever been on. Yeah. So he's new. Aaron Whitehead, I think might be new to the best of. Yeah. But let's talk about the people who have more than one episode. Tim Balt had two this year. Here's. Here's the people who were in two episodes in the top 14. Tim Baltz, Sean Diston, Will Hines, Ryan Gaul, Taran Killam, Ben Rogers, Christian Brune, Tatiana Maslany, Carl Tart and Andy Daly. 10, 10 people had more than had two.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nice. Congrats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Let's talk about the people who were in three. You have Lily Sullivan and Lisa Gilroy.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Congrats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Congrats to them. Let's talk about one person has four episodes in the top 14. Jason Manzoukas.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Congrats.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now usually, usually there would be only one other person above Jason, but we have two now above Jason making five appearances. Vic vicing Michaela in five of the top 14.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Five of the top 14.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is a just a banner year for Vic.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Absolutely.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just tearing through the top 14.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And may I say before you reveal the other name, if you have not yet seen it, very important people on dropout tv.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're in this season.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I am in this season.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I just was talking to the person editing your episode, and they said it was so funny.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, I'm glad to hear that. I look forward to seeing it. But it's a great show that Dick hosts.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why cut all the funny stuff?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Why? Vic is great host, and it's improvisers being put into elaborate makeup and having to decide on the spot what their character is based on what they look.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Like and surprising Vic with who they are. Right?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, Vic knows in advance.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Big nose. Oh, okay, great. Well, that ruined it for me.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

She doesn't know that. You don't know that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, okay. So. So at the top once again, with seven of the top 14 episodes, Mr. Paul F. Tompkins.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Dang.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, you were saying before. Am I over?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, I think it every year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think it every year. But because this year, so strangely, you were not in any of the episodes until episode nine. Nine. You only did nine episodes this year.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Is that true?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, you usually do about 12. You do about one a month. But because we were on tour for so long, I was taking it easy on you and not saying, like, hey, come to an. Save me. Come do an episode.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I probably would have.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You probably would have. And you would have been great. But yeah, you only did nine. You only did two episodes that were not in the top 14, and those were close to the top 14. You did the. The John Cryer episode.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Tony Hale episodes.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Both of those are great, but they are not in the top 14. So your stats are still good.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Well, I'm honored. And. And you're in the top.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And, you know, you're in the top four, and then six, seven, and nine.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Man. Well, look, I love doing this show, and I'm happy to be with such esteemed company.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. I think this was a great year. I enjoyed all of these clips.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I think so too, too. As a listener. I. I thought this was a terrific year. And I think the podcast is not only just as good as it ever was, but I think it's having a real renaissance.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I think people should listen to the tour episodes because that's such a big part of the year for us. Those were, like, almost to an episode. Really, really great.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Someone pointed out that the. The last tour episode that we did in LA at the. @ the United Artists Theater on Broadway, we had. You had eight guests, right, Aiden?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, and myself.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So nine. Nine Stooler.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Nine Stooler. And I saw someone put it that it rep. It was people that represented all these different eras. Of the show. Yes, on one stage, because we had.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People from the beginning, which would be you and Andy Daly and Seth Morris as Duca and Zooks, People who were there in the first year. Then you had, like, Lauren Lapis, who was. Who kind of I always thought of as the new person. But, yeah, I know now she's been added for 10 years or so. But then also some really great people from the new era. Sean diston, Vic, Lisa Gilroy. People who have really. I mean, Vic and Lisa weren't even in the book, in the Bang Bang book, because they were so new at that point, by the time it was put together that I think they had just started doing the show. So, yeah, it was great to have such a cross section of generations of performers on this show. And hopefully we're going to keep it going. Hopefully we'll do another episode.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

At least you should do at least one. Just.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At least one.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. See how it feels.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Okay. I want to get some thanks out of the way. I want to thank.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm sure they'll be pleased to hear a phrase that way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I want to get it out of the way so I never have to thank them again.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I want to stop thinking about these people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Want to thank Kimmy Gregory, our producer over there at Earwolf. Kimmy has been doing a lot behind the scenes for the show. You know, works out a bit of the booking, works out the workflow of episodes being edited and completed and sent out, and then just also a bunch of random stuff for the show. And she's been working really hard and just had a baby, so. And has to listen to my voice every episode while making noise. No noise.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Don't make noise.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Don't make the noise. Avoid the noise.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, no. He wrecks pizza.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Making notes about, like, you know, oh, hey, can we lose someone coughing here? All this kind of stuff. So really appreciate everything Kimmy has done in addition to this year. So many years I've had to listen to all these episodes and pull these clips myself. This year, Kimmy assembled a big team to do these for me and send the first drafts of them to me. So Kimmy enlisted Matt Opodaka, Cody Fisher, Amelia Chappello and Talon Stradley, and they all assembled all these clips.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

The Fantastic Four.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Fantastic Four is what they're calling them, and I think it's apropos people.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Are calling them the Fantastic Four.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They used this new morphing technology.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Morphing technology.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So they all pulled clips this year, which took a big, heavy load. Feel weird Saying heavy load when I'm talking about a work environment.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

When I paused, I was like, keep going. Just keep going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I know, but it took a load off of me this year. So thank you so much to those.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Guys and put the load right on me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. The band style. Also want to thank our engineers this year. We had Alex Gonzalez earlier in the year, and then Jordan Duffy took over. So thanks to Shout out to Jordan. Yes, shout out to them. Thank you so much to them. We also have July. July Diaz.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

July Diaz.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He listens to every episode and he. If anything's wrong with them, he calls it out. But he also does the descriptions for every episode, and he's been doing this as long as anyone has been alive.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, it's weird.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

July, thank you so much. Sorry I didn't recognize you when I saw you in a bar recently and you had to explain who you are. I haven't seen you in probably six years.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So that's on you, July. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Show your face a little more often. I'll recognize you.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

In short, shut the up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He didn't complain, by the way. I just have felt bad about it. Thanks to Brett Morris over at Comedy Bang Bang World. Brett, who produces so much of our stuff over there at CBB World and makes everything over there work.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, he had so much, and it's. It's amazing the. The job that he does, all the work that he does, it's a vast amount of work and, you know, does it on time and quickly and, like.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

For the most part. On time.

[Scott Aukerman]

For the most.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I mean, but, like, considering all the. Like, the fact that he turns it around as quickly as he does is pretty amazing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna have to talk to him about it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Just so you know, I was the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Good cop here, but we talked during the break about how we both wanted this done. No, he's great. He's also so funny on the mic on shows like Neighborhood Listen and Collegetown and Batman and all this. Randy and everything.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Randy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So thanks to Brett, and I want to thank all of the guests who came on this year. You know, it's so much fun to be with the most funny and talented people. And it's always just so wonderful that people return, either be this their 15th year or their first year doing the show. It's great that people still enjoy doing it. And I really appreciate everyone's hard work. Everyone who went out on tour with us this year, the performers who went on tour. This was such a fun tour. And again, you were saying such a variety of people on it. It was really great. Right. Everyone who came out to see us on tour.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We played to thousands of people this year. We did 43 shows, probably, if I haven't counted the number of it, but I think it's around 4,000 people that we played to. And great crowds.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Not a bad crowd in any city, which is. I mean, given the odds, you would think that there would be at least one.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, there have been a few shows in the past, especially early on when we start touring of, like, hecklers and.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

And just people yelling.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People yelling a lot. This was so much fun. And such good crowds. And then even going to the UK and Ireland, you kind of go like, oh, how are people gonna.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And such great crowds over there.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So good. Yeah. Thank you for welcoming us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So warmly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And to everyone who didn't live near any of the cities, but followed along and listened to the shows, thank you so much for all that. And I. There's a man that I need to thank. He's across the table from me, Paul F. Tompkins.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That was me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That genuinely surprised me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boom.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I knew that was coming.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This always such a. A blast to do not only these Best of us, but the 12 or so episodes you do every year, you know, wouldn't be Comedy Bang Bang without you. I think. I. I, you know. Well, I might consider packing it in. Were you ever too quit the show, not die.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's great to have that power.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would consider it. I do it.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, okay. I mean, I feel like you're taking back the compliment a little bit. I am so thrilled to still be a part of this and to, you know, have gotten to play with so many great people and to have so much fun with you and just being idiots together is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's so enjoyable just listening to that last number one episode. It's so funny all the way through. And so, you know, and the tour and everything, you know, it's just. Just too.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, we had a good time. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I count the hours that I've spent in this room among the happiest in my life.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And lastly, to all of you for listening this year, if this was your 15th year or maybe just even your first or maybe even these best ofs are the first time you've ever even heard of it. The fact that everyone still listens to the show. We met so many people on tour who are like, I've been listening for 13 years, or I've been listening this long. And now my kids listen to it. And even people who are just like, I've been listening so long, the last year and a half. It's so fun to see so many. A lot of young people on tour this year, which is great. So great to see so many people still into the show. Even people who dip in and out and just only listen to the best of us or whatever. It's so great that we're still relevant. We have some big episodes coming up very soon. Soon this month on Monday, we'll hear the first EP of the year with Ben Schwartz, who was just on the solo bolo. He was on the last episode of last year and the first episode of this year, and we have episode 900 coming up, so.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Jesus Christ.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. That's insane. It's crazy. It's crazy. We have some. Some good stuff, hopefully this year, so it is our pleasure to keep entertaining you and. And if life gets difficult for you, we're always happy to be here. We heard a lot about that on tour. Just people who appreciate getting their mind off stuff. That's what we're here to do. We hope you had a happy holiday. We had a great 2024. And here's to a 2025 that is tolerable.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Scott, thank you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're welcome. I mean that.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I meant mine, too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I meant it. Maybe more.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not a competition. I know it's not a competition. Yeah, but I did. All right, we have one last thing to do now. Are we putting money on this or what? Or a dinner or. What are we doing?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

$10,000 bet.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You want to do a double or nothing? D, I owe you a Olive Garden. Dinner. Dinner.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, so it's definitely Olive Garden.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we've now.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We've now established it's definitely Olive Garden.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Now we can put this wherever you. I'm gonna still allow you to put it wherever you like.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't know that he's looked in that direction, so I'm gonna leave him where he is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay. All right. So.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Okay, what's the bet? A dinner. Just dinner.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So if. If I win, then neither of us owes any dinners.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No dinner.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you win, we're tied and we have to go into ot.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And if neither of us win. Neither of us. Winners are. Can't. Yeah. Dinners are canceled out. Because that means I won, right? If. Yes, so. So if we go into ot, we'll figure out what that means. All right, here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go. All right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're gonna film this? Yes. Because this is very.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

It's very exciting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Very exciting.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is where it. This is. This is where the rubber meets the road.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. Right. All you rubber fans and road fans. That's true.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

All right. Jesus, snowman, back off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I'm now I'm squeezing his fat little hand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's dancing around. Not spun yet. Now he's spinning. Okay, still facing now to the left of the bathroom. He's now facing. I would consider that to be sort of in your direction.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Splitting the diff between us.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now back to his first position. Spinning around for the final time. Whoa.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

So close.

[Andy Daly]

I.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

No, he's not there. It's too much of an angle. It's too much of an angle.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Too much of an angle.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

This is like right on this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would have given it to you, but I appreciate that, but apparently Paul doesn't want to go to Olive Garden.

[Scott Aukerman]

Garden.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't want to go to Olive Garden with you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You want.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I don't think you respect it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who respects it more than a former employee?

[Jason Mantzoukas]

I know you're going to be asking for those breadsticks all night long.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We. We each have, I think Cool up even has a gift certificate as well.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah, yeah. What if everybody who's won comedian feud.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

On Olive Gardens nightmare.

[Scott Aukerman]

We.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Yeah. Hey, guess what? We're renting the place out and we're not paying you a dime. We just have a party of 100, so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

All right. If you ever see us at Olive Garden with a bunch of other comedians, I hope you brought your vhs.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

Oh, you know what? That's the thing to do. Have your VHS of Rudolph Shiny New Year and. And just check out Olive Gardens.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just check out whatever Olive Garden is nearest to us.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

We're trying to make this easy for you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you, guys. Have a great 2025. We'll see you on Monday with the first episode of the year. Thank you, Paul. We'll see you Monday for the first episode of the year still. And also I wanted to say we'll.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

See you before we go for the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

First Monday, the first episode of the year. All right. Thanks. By.

[Jason Mantzoukas]

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