Comedy Bang Bang: "Bonus Bang: A Bar Mangled Manor"

Guests: Paul F. Tompkins (as Alimony Tony), Dave Theune (as Robbie Delmuda), Toni Charline (as Max the Dog)
Date of Original Airing: January 16, 2022 (Re-release: February 12, 2026)
Host: Scott Aukerman

Episode Overview

This "Bonus Bang" episode features Scott Aukerman revisiting a beloved installment focused on the iconic character Alimony Tony, played by Paul F. Tompkins. Tony is a wealthy man obsessed with both marrying and paying alimony. The episode mixes Scott’s signature loose, joke-packed banter with Paul’s whimsical character work, introducing a supporting cast: Robbie Delmuda, an 11-year-old attorney played by Dave Theune, and Max the Dog, a streetwise, adoption-hungry dog portrayed by Toni Charline. The show is a comic free-for-all with improv, running gags, satirical observations, and absurdist conversational detours.

Key Discussion Points & Memorable Segments

1. Opening Banter: Fast Food, Regionalisms, and Non-Binary God

• Scott and Paul open with riffs about cartoon fast-food mascots, regional food chains, and nomenclature (03:36–07:07):
  • They joke about "Popeye's" and muse about why "Pugsley" from Addams Family doesn’t have a chicken chain.
  • Playful "Mid-Atlantic accent" discussion leads into a bit about Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s and how regional branding keeps "order in the nation."
• Theology detour:
  • "What if God was they/them? The original non-binary God?" — Paul F. Tompkins (07:37)
  • Discussion on the Trinity as evidence, and how "God is already three people."

2. Humanity’s Podcast Now Open to Animals and Beyond

• Scott reveals the podcast has expanded "from being humanity’s podcast to the animal kingdom as well" (08:02)
  • "No vegetables or minerals yet," muses Scott, asking Paul to "punch up" the new tagline.
  • Paul retorts: "What if it’s the podcast for all creatures great and small?" referencing the classic book. (09:57)

3. Song Parody Satire, Sondheim, and the Semantics of 'Rest in Peace'

• Alimony Tony arrives, waxing poetic about his favorite joys—marriage and alimony (18:19):
  • Tony is an eccentric who marries for love but delights even more in creative, ongoing divorce settlements. He claims his wealth comes from his mother inventing "gaseous paper."
• Song parody meta-comedy:
  • Tony’s "most popular" parody is of the national anthem, called "A Bar Mangled Manor."
    • Scott: "Is that about a Downton Abbey bar?"
    • Tony: "Exactly! Americans open a bar in Downton Abbey and wreak havoc." (24:56-25:15)
  • "It’s a little nod to Sondheim. Rest in peace—eh, rest in power! Depends if they had work left to do." (21:29–22:19)
• Defining moments:
  • "I have ex-wives who are deceased...and I send alimony checks to their mausoleum mailboxes." — Paul F. Tompkins as Tony (22:51)
  • Extended theorizing on why graves don’t have mailboxes, and instructions for the literal "graveyard shift" postman.

4. Alimony Tony’s Many Marriages & Supermarket Wedding

• Details of Tony’s latest whirlwind romance and divorce (30:15–36:00):
  • He marries "Hermione," whom he meets in the meat aisle at the supermarket; three ordained ministers co-officiate in the frozen food section, using improv-style, one-word-at-a-time vows.
  • "It’s important to never use the same words in my vows; I carry my thesaurus everywhere in case I get married again." — Tony (33:20)
  • The honeymoon lasts a week before irreconcilable differences (mostly age gap and running out of mutual interests) emerge. Hermione is 78, Tony is "60 years young."
• Tony’s family background:
  • Eight kids, one mom, two dads—everyone in the same house, but the dads didn’t admit to being in a relationship. (43:14)

5. Semantic Rabbit Holes

• Dictionary vs. Thesaurus vs. The Fountainhead (48:30–51:20):
  • Hilarious digression as Tony tries to look up "perspicacious" in his thesaurus and then the Fountainhead.
  • "If you only had money for one book, buy the thesaurus. You can figure out the definitions from the synonyms!" — Scott
  • Tony: "Walk me through how I don’t have money for two books."

6. The Introduction of Robbie Delmuda, 11-Year-Old Attorney (59:30)

• Scott welcomes legal wunderkind Robbie, who has “all the trappings of a certain type of person—short, smooth-faced”; Robbie reveals he’s 11 and his own lawyer.
  • On representing himself in court: "Time might be short, Scott. I’m currently on trial for embezzlement. I’ve been wrongly accused." (61:39)
• Absurd case details:
  • Robbie is on trial because Granite Investments—a firm his father runs—embezzled money and laundered it through NBA trading cards. Robbie, an avid collector, was made the scapegoat.
  • "The attorney said, ‘This case is a sham!’, walked out, and the judge said, ‘Well, looks like you’re representing yourself.’" — Robbie (68:43)
• Hilarious sidebar:
  • On showering with his dad after the gym—"Isn’t it shocking when you see your dad’s penis?" Tony asks with childlike concern (62:55).
  • "Am I on trial right now?" Robbie exclaims in mock frustration as Scott cross-examines. (68:06)
  • Robbie’s navigation of Night Court, bullying from "Dean Oxton," and his beleaguered parents who don’t care about his predicament.

7. Max the Dog: The Animal Kingdom’s Awaiting Star (88:47)

• Max, a dog seeking adoption, makes his dramatic entrance:
  • "I was a good dog but never got adopted, so I’m trying out being naughty. I invited all your neighbors to dinner at midnight." — Max (90:26)
  • He describes petty mischief, like texting Scott’s exes ("I got your phone earlier and I texted all your exes" 90:46), and "making all your toilet papers spicy."
• Max's tragic backstory:
  • His siblings were lost in a chain of tragicomic Christmas disasters: running off a cliff after escaping an engine, being raised then killed by wolves, etc.
  • "My siblings and I were in a little puppy pile behind a car tire… Susan started her car, and we scrambled—but then tumbled off a cliff..." (99:13)
• Desperate plea:
  • "Time is running out. I would love to be adopted. I’m a little naughty boy, little scamp—maybe you’re into that?" (94:24)

8. Finale: Song Parody & Closing Bits

• Alimony Tony’s Parody Performance
  • Tony debuts "A Bar Mangled Manor," a send-up of "The Star-Spangled Banner" set in Downton Abbey, with lyrics referencing the characters getting drunk and destroying the place.
    • "[singing] Oh Lady Mary, did you party last night? Did you do some fat rails while O’Brian was cleaning?...Lady Edith got tight, Mrs. Patmore got bare..." (109:16)
• Obituaries Bit:
  • In keeping with the show running gags, an "obits" segment memorializes Max’s supposed siblings: "Dottie, Shelby, and Jacob—rest in peace, day or night." (110:35)

Notable Quotes & Time Stamps

• "What if God was they/them? The original non-binary God?"
  — Paul F. Tompkins (07:37)

• "If you have a hot fudge sundae, you don’t just love the hot fudge—you also love the ice cream. It’s the two of them together."
  — Paul F. Tompkins as Alimony Tony, explaining his dual love for marriage and alimony (41:25)

• "I have ex-wives who are deceased... and I send alimony checks to the graves."
  — Alimony Tony (22:55)

• "It’s important to me to never use any previous vowels [in my wedding vows]. I carry my thesaurus everywhere I go in case I get married."
  — Alimony Tony (33:20)

• "If you only had money for one book, buy the thesaurus… You can figure out the definitions from the synonyms!"
  — Scott Aukerman (49:21)

• "Time might be short, Scott. I’m representing myself in a major trial."
  — Robbie Delmuda (61:39)

• "Am I on trial right now?"
  — Robbie Delmuda (68:06)

• "I made all your toilet papers spicy."
  — Max the Dog (95:03)

• "Oh Lady Mary, did you party last night?... The Dowager Countess did rails all through Downton Abbey, or Lady Sybil’s grave."
  — Alimony Tony’s song parody (109:24)

Important Timestamps

• 03:36 – 07:07: Cartoon fast-food mascots, regional food chains, and the "Mid-Atlantic accent" jokes.
• 08:02 – 10:02: Announcement that CBB is now also 'for the animal kingdom' and taglines brainstorm.
• 18:19: Alimony Tony is introduced.
• 24:56 – 25:15: Tony explains his national anthem parody and its UK TV adaptation.
• 30:15 – 36:00: The supermarket-meet-cute marriage and fast divorce.
• 48:30 – 51:20: Tangent about thesaurus vs. dictionary vs. The Fountainhead.
• 59:30: Introduction of 11-year-old attorney, Robbie Delmuda.
• 68:43: How Robbie ends up representing himself in Night Court.
• 88:47: Max the Dog appears, launches into an adoption plea and his bizarre antics.
• 109:16: Alimony Tony’s full song parody performance.
• 110:35: The closing "obituaries" segment.

Episode Tone & Style

• Frenetic, quick-witted, and tangential.
• Jokes come fast and often veer into extended bits about language, pop culture, and surreal logic.
• Characters are layered and exaggerated, with meta-commentary on their own narratives and the format of the show itself.

Conclusion

"Bonus Bang: A Bar Mangled Manor" is classic CBB: dizzying improvisational energy, clever wordplay, and recurring motifs. The highlight is Paul F. Tompkins’ Alimony Tony—never missing a chance to mine the comic absurdities of serial marriage and legal maneuvering. Dave Theune’s beleaguered child attorney and Toni Charline’s tragic, naughty dog bring even more comic layers.

Recommended for: Fans of character-driven improv, meta-podcast banter, and those who relish comedy that swerves unpredictably at every turn.