Bonus Bang: Alimony Tony’s Valimony Showny 2024 (Paul F. Tompkins, Mandell Maughan, Mary Sohn, Mitra Jouhari, Nicole Parker) - Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast

Summary7 min read

Comedy Bang Bang: Bonus Bang

“Alimony Tony’s Valimony Showny 2024”

Released: February 19, 2026 (originally from February 14, 2024)
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests/Characters:

Paul F. Tompkins as Alimony Tony (Tony Giacuroni)
Mandell Maughan as Belinda “Brogers” Rogers
Mitra Jouhari as Josephine “Jojo” Tooth Fontaine
Mary Sohn as Jin Boo
Nicole Parker as Eleanor Lindor

Episode Overview

This special “Bonus Bang” episode is a love letter to the iconic CBB character Alimony Tony (Paul F. Tompkins), who famously adores paying alimony to his many ex-wives. As part of the Alimony Tony miniseries, Tony gathers a handpicked group of his ex-wives to reminisce about love, life, divorce settlements, and the oddly nourishing joys of writing alimony checks. Each ex’s over-the-top quirks and entrepreneurial failures add to the bombastic and affectionate roasting style that defines the show. At heart, this is an uproarious, improvisational character jam about relationships, self-improvement, and the thin line between affection and absurdity.

Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. Alimony Tony’s Song Parody and Introduction (03:23)

Opening with a parody song about joyfully paying alimony
Tony explains: “I always marry for love. …But I do love payability. It gives me a real charge, let me tell you.” (03:54)
Reveals his mother invented “gaseous paper for NASA,” explaining his independent wealth

2. Catching Up with Brogers (Belinda Rogers, ex-wife #3) (05:47)

Brogers claims the show's fans want a spinoff with her and Tony (“the Brogers and Alimony Tony Show”)
Updates on her booming party business and hiring “Dani,” a college junior in communications, as her social media assistant.
Banter about mentoring Dani, who’s “like having a college student child running around the house” (08:40)
Discussion of Tony’s infertility: “Nobody wants to work these days, including my sperm.” (10:29)
Notable moment: Brogers suggests Tony “take Dani to lunch, see what it’s like to be a father” (11:09)

3. Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo, ex-wife #54) Joins (14:02)

Tony is the only person who calls her “Jojo”: “The first time I said it, it just fell out naturally. Just, ‘here’s Jojo.’” (14:07)
Recap of marital whirlwind: 72-hour marriage, ended with good-natured chaos: “We laughed all the way to the emergency room.” (15:35)
Josephine’s career in private animal security (“I accompany [Bullseye Target Dog] to appearances… I’m that for a dog.” 16:57) and family dynasty collabs: Air Bud, Babe, etc.
Hates all animals except dogs: “If I could press a button and kill the rest of the animals on planet Earth…” (18:30)
Extended riff on eliminating animals, living in a Mars bunker, and which planet feels “pervert vibes” (Neptune, says Jojo, 18:54)
Running bit: Deep-dive South Park fandom—Tony was not a fan but Jojo converted him: “We talked about South Park for 72 hours.” (20:41)
Financial “mentorship” moment: Jojo seeks Brogers’ help after buying a 60-pack of beer for $75 (“I was in a beverage barn…$75…Natty Light…sort of piss in a can.” 23:09)

4. Jin Boo (ex-wife #6) Arrives (28:11)

Jin tries to surprise Tony by “jumping out of a bush.”
Talks about her journey through failed direct sales (Herbalife, leggings, Arbonne): “You said that you thought it was a pyramid scheme and crap…You were right.” (30:08)
Discussion of financial literacy, pyramid schemes, and daughters who “won’t help me with the computer” (32:22)
Touching and hilarious apologies: Tony apologizes for gaslighting, Jin admits to “pure venom” gossip (34:31)
Birth of the idea: Panera-catered women’s business/finance class taught by Brogers
STEM definition riff: “Sexy, Teeny, Evil Men.” (37:01)

5. Eleanor Lindor (ex-wife #28, the “richest wife”) Enters (37:31)

Heiress to the Lindor Chocolate fortune: “I’m the heiress to the Lindor chocolate family. I do all their commercials. Chocolate take you away.” (38:27)
Tales of decadent, wild wealth: Renting the Panama Canal, Tower of London bouncy house, a plane “hijacked” as a party (42:14).
Grappling with “Nepo baby” status and rebelling with a one-woman show (“Chips No Hoy”): “By the end, it’s completely naked of chocolates, which is how I want it to be. And I’m naked too, at the end.” (45:13)
Family drama: Dad (Gryffindor Lindor) denies her inheritance unless she “embraces the business.” Discusses creating a “chocolate rib” for men, with disastrous results.

6. Group Shenanigans & Intimate Confessions (48:02)

Wide-ranging, raunchy discussion about relationships, cunnilingus (“Did you hear that chocolate chef is so good at cunnus?” 38:44), and marital truths
Advice swap about “giving but not receiving,” “unlocking the jaw for yourself,” and appreciation for deep, healthy partnerships (53:11)
Hilarious euphemism riff on “giving throat” and “women in STEM” (now “Sexy, Teeny, Evil Men”) (37:01, 49:31)
Brainstorm of “kind of learning”—a fake/real adult education “Cunning/Learning/Lingus” center funded by Eleanor
Emotional group support and affirmation among all the ex-wives

7. Questions & Lighthearted Competitions (55:37)

Planet game: “What planet would you most not want to go to?”
- Jojo: Neptune (“Seems like pervert vibes.” 58:23)
- Jin: “Wouldn’t want to be caught in the Milky Way.” (58:44)
- Brogers: Mercury (“It’s the smallest, and I have big dreams.” 59:22)
- Eleanor: Pluto (“Because it was demoted, it became poor to me.” 62:33)
Southern Charm/Bravo gossip and old-movie regret (“Doesn’t anyone just curl up with the Manchurian Candidate anymore?” 61:27)

8. If Tony Doubled the Alimony… (69:17)

Brogers: Would start a school and teach finances, voiceover work, self-worth, “and not feeling shame about deep throating.”
Jin Boo: Would donate to “Homeless Not Toothless,” a real charity: “It gives homeless folks teeth.” (71:16)
Jojo: Would fund infinite McDonald’s Diet Coke, buy a plane ticket for Jin to meet chocolatier Barry, and pay for Brogers’ bagels (toast to solidarity)
Eleanor: Would open “The Lindor Kanner Learning (and Lingus) Center” to teach healthy sexual relationships, with “beautiful statues of every single one of you.” (73:40)
Tony picks Jin as the winner for supporting a real charity; others agree to donate as well.

9. Parting Wisdom: Advice for the Listeners (78:01)

Jojo: “Red thong, red dog. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Jin Boo: “Unlock the jaw for yourself.”
(Unanimous impressed reactions—“Powerful!” 78:13)
Brogers: “Know yourself, be that, and then be better.” (78:41)
Eleanor: “Live Love Lingus.” (79:10)
Tony: “That used to be the slogan for Aer Lingus for many years.” (79:19)
Tony closes by thanking everyone and launching into a final song parody about mailing checks for ex-wife support.

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

“Nobody wants to work these days, including my sperm.”
— Alimony Tony (10:29)
“If I could press a button and kill the rest of the animals on planet Earth…”
— Josephine Tooth Fontaine (18:30)
“Sexy. Teeny. Evil. Men. That’s what STEM is, right?”
— Jojo & Brogers (37:01)
“We talked about South Park for 72 hours.”
— Jojo (20:41)
“We laughed all the way to the emergency room.”
— Tony, remembering the 72-hour marriage (15:35)
“I said, ‘can you imagine what Margaret meant by that?’ and he’d say, ‘what do you mean?’”
— Jin Boo, explaining Tony’s “golden retriever energy” (33:10)
“You were giving off real golden retriever energy.”
— Jin Boo’s daughters about Tony (33:10)
“Do you blame Adam or Eve for the apple?”
— Brogers, stirring up the age-old question (50:41)
“What planet would you most not want to go to?”
— Running segment (57:57)
“Know yourself, be that, and then be better.”
— Brogers (78:41)
“Live, love, Lingus.”
— Eleanor (79:10)

Timestamps for Key Segments

03:23 — Alimony Tony’s song parody, backstory, Brogers intro
14:02 — Josephine Tooth Fontaine’s entrance, 72-hour marriage story
28:11 — Jin Boo’s arrival, failed businesses, gaslighting apology
37:31 — Eleanor Lindor enters, Lindor Chocolate heiress tales
55:37 — “Question Time” and planet game
69:17 — Alimony Lottery: What would they do with double the money?
78:01 — Final advice round: Life, love, and Lingus

Tone & Style

Wild, affectionate, and packed with rapid-fire comedic improvisation. The ex-wives’ banter blends over-the-top eccentricity with authentic emotional beats, especially around money, self-worth, and post-divorce reinvention. Sexual innuendo abounds, but always with a wink and warmth.

For New Listeners

Even without prior knowledge of Alimony Tony or each performer’s signature style, this episode stands as a hilarious portrait of absurdly amicable exes, loaded with boisterous character work, running gags (STEM!), heartfelt advice, and shameless celebration of self and failure. Come for the song parodies, stay for “Live Love Lingus.”

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Transcript1,141 lines

[00:00]
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[01:00]
Scott Aukerman
Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here. Welcome to another bonus bang where we are re releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the Paywall. Now we're in the middle and at the conclusion actually of our latest series even more a Moni Tony, which is of course focusing on the great character Alimony Tony, AKA Tony Giacuroni, played by Paul F. Tompkins. You know, Alimony Tony, he started as a catchphrase submitter and then came on the show. And we're airing a lot of his stuff that we have aired before. But today is a really special one because we are releasing out from behind the Paywall for the first time ever, the Alimony Tony's Valimony Shoney 2024. This was originally released in the CBB presents Feed on February 14, 2024. Now we just released the 2026 version a couple of days ago and you're gonna hear the 2024 episode. In this one, Alimony Tony convenes with a handpicked assortment of his wonderful ex wives to talk about love, life and substantial checks. Playing Tony's lucky ex wives are Mandel Mon as Belinda, Mitra Juhari as Josephine, Marisone as Gin and Nicole Parker as Eleanor. This is a great episode. You're going to really enj you enjoy it as I said you would. And you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents, which this Vallabhony Tony's Alimony Tony Valimoni Shoney is a part of It's a CBB Presents. This is an example of One we also have Scott hasn't seen, where I watch movies with Sprague, the Whisperer, the Neighborhood. Listen, Collegetown, become a subscriber@cbbworld.com we have all of the past episodes from the archives. Every live show we've ever done throughout the years ad free new episodes, even more original shows. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang.
[03:23]
Alimony Tony
The ink's tried on our papers of divorce. But you'll only take this pen from me by use of force. And even though you're now out on your own, Alamo Knee is what I'm paying for. In your mailbox there's a check. It was my joy to write. It's got so many zeros. It's such a wondrous sight. You can tear that check in too. It's all the same to me. Cause I just love to pay out emoni. All right, that's enough of that. That's enough of that. Welcome once again, everyone. Oh, thank you. Thank you. That's all right. Welcome once again. It's another year. It's Alamori Tony's Valle Mori Shoney. I am Tony Jaccioroni, better known as Alamori Tori and also sometimes known as Weirdobody Alamori Tony. That is my nom do song parody and you heard one right up at the top. I write song parodies about pain alimony. Now why do I do that? I'll tell you right now why I do that. It's because I have been married many, many times. The marriages have not worked out. But the upside is I love paying alibody. I always marry for love. I don't marry just so I can get divorced to pay alibody. But I do love payability. It gives me a real charge, let me tell you. So silver lining. And once again for my Valerie showy, I am joined by several of my ex wives and what a pleasure it is to see them. We have all remained on good terms. Some of them take the alimony, some of them refuse it. It's all the same to me like I sang in the song. Because I am independently wealthy. My mother invented gaseous paper for NASA. Now with me, as always, my co host wife number three, it's Belinda Rogers, better known as Brogers.
[05:48]
Brodgers
So happy to be here, Brogers.
[05:50]
Alimony Tony
How have you been since last I've seen you?
[05:52]
Brodgers
So many DMs from the fans since the last show. Dare I call this the Brodgers and alimony Tony show? That's the suggestions given to me.
[06:01]
Alimony Tony
Put it yourself. Give it.
[06:03]
Brodgers
The suggestions given to me. I mean, fans after fans after fans.
[06:08]
Alimony Tony
You're saying the fans are saying you should call it the producers at Alimony.
[06:11]
Brodgers
Tony. They are insane. They are insisting. I mean, they love it. They love the duo. They love the banter. They love the chemistry we have. I say, guys, we're divorced. We're not getting married again.
[06:24]
Alimony Tony
Just because we have good chemistry does not mean that we have to stay married. Which we did not.
[06:29]
Brodgers
No, we did not.
[06:30]
Alimony Tony
And, Bron, how is your business going? The last we spoke, you were doing party.
[06:33]
Brodgers
Booming. Booming, boom. And I have to thank you because ever since the show again, the fans. Oh, we want to work with Brodgers. She's the real star. There's so many different messages I'm getting every day. You know what I mean? It's filled. I had to hire a social media person to run it all because I could not respond to all the messages I was getting.
[06:54]
Alimony Tony
So you have a stranger who is responding. Are they responding as you?
[06:58]
Brodgers
Well, she's a college student. She goes to.
[07:01]
Alimony Tony
That doesn't really answer my question.
[07:04]
Brodgers
Well, I wanted to give her credit.
[07:06]
Alimony Tony
She's for going to college.
[07:07]
Brodgers
She's currently getting an education, something hardly anybody does. Exactly. And that's why I chose her, you.
[07:13]
Alimony Tony
Know, because she is a college student.
[07:15]
Brodgers
Because she is a college student and I wanted to reward her for furthering her education.
[07:19]
Alimony Tony
What year are we talking?
[07:20]
Brodgers
She's a junior.
[07:21]
Alimony Tony
A junior. So she's committed to at least three years of college.
[07:24]
Brodgers
Mm.
[07:25]
Alimony Tony
And has she declared a major?
[07:26]
Brodgers
Communications.
[07:27]
Alimony Tony
Ooh, she does sound like a real up and comer.
[07:31]
Brodgers
Well, I thought, who better to communicate.
[07:33]
Alimony Tony
Thank you.
[07:34]
Brodgers
Than a communications major?
[07:35]
Alimony Tony
Rogers, everything you say makes sense.
[07:37]
Brodgers
As always.
[07:37]
Alimony Tony
Glad to hear. And so now I hope you'll answer my question that I asked you a while ago.
[07:41]
Brodgers
Don't even remember.
[07:42]
Alimony Tony
Does she respond to these direct messages in the character of you?
[07:47]
Brodgers
What happens is she comes to me and she gives me suggestions about how she wants to respond, and I say, no, no, no, no, no, that's not what I would say. And then I give her verbatim what I would say, and she types it out into the message she press sends. And then she lets me know if we get a response, which we always do.
[08:03]
Alimony Tony
Well, this sounds. If I may, it sounds superfluous and unnecessary and time consuming.
[08:09]
Brodgers
I don't think so. We have a great relationship as a friendship.
[08:12]
Alimony Tony
I think that's wonderful.
[08:13]
Brodgers
I'm almost mentoring her what she calls her mentor. Almost she calls me.
[08:17]
Alimony Tony
What would push it over me?
[08:19]
Brodgers
I don't want to speak for her, but she does call me her mentor. I think that I'm guiding her in all areas of life. I've taught her how to cook. I've taught her how to. I've taught her how to communicate with fans. I've taught her how to communicate with her mother. Things were not going well there, but I really solidified that relationship.
[08:40]
Alimony Tony
She sounds like a burden.
[08:41]
Brodgers
Mm, I don't think so. I think. I think, you know, I never had children. We never had children together. No, we never did. And so this, for me, is quite an experience because it's like having a college student child running around the house, you know, college student child.
[08:56]
Alimony Tony
Child running around. That. The pitter pat.
[08:59]
Brodgers
Well, she's.
[08:59]
Jin Boo
She's quick.
[09:00]
Brodgers
She's got energy. She. She moves bim.
[09:02]
Alimony Tony
Vigor.
[09:04]
Brodgers
Exactly.
[09:05]
Alimony Tony
And do you pay her, or is this more of an intern?
[09:08]
Brodgers
Of course I pay her.
[09:10]
Alimony Tony
May I inquire how much you pay her?
[09:12]
Brodgers
It's $15 an hour is what we started at. As she gained more responsibilities, we bumped it up to 1525. And then, of course, there's bonuses for every holiday.
[09:25]
Alimony Tony
Oh, sure.
[09:26]
Brodgers
That she works.
[09:27]
Alimony Tony
How long has she been with you, this gal?
[09:29]
Brodgers
Three months.
[09:30]
Alimony Tony
And what is her. What is her name?
[09:34]
Brodgers
It's. Well, it's funny that you asked that.
[09:37]
Alimony Tony
Because I know it's a weird question out of nowhere.
[09:39]
Brodgers
No, no, no. It's funny that you asked it, because her name is Danielle, but I call her Dani. So I was going to say Dani, but really her name is Danielle. That's cute. Yes.
[09:46]
Alimony Tony
I like a daddy for her. I think that's sweet.
[09:48]
Brodgers
Well, we've talked about that when we were talking about if we ever had a child, which we never wanted to, but if we did, we would name her Danny. Or him Danny or them Danny or them Danny.
[09:59]
Alimony Tony
Now, if it was twins and we were gonna deal with both Danny.
[10:02]
Brodgers
Yes.
[10:02]
Alimony Tony
And now. You know, bro, since we. You were. You were an early wife of mine, and I found out since we've been together, I am Barron.
[10:12]
Brodgers
Are you?
[10:14]
Alimony Tony
Yes. The doctor said I have no motility. And I said. Did you say low motility? He says, no.
[10:20]
Brodgers
So the sperm count is there, but it's just not moving.
[10:23]
Alimony Tony
Oh, it's tugs. But they're just sitting there.
[10:26]
Brodgers
They just don't want to work. They just don't want to work.
[10:30]
Alimony Tony
Nobody wants to work these days, including my sperm.
[10:32]
Brodgers
You know, it may. I hear a lot of people that come from money that it's really? You know, it's inherited. That happens because your sperm are almost acting out the life that you're living, you know?
[10:44]
Alimony Tony
Oh, because I'm a leisure?
[10:46]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[10:47]
Brodgers
You've never had to work for your money?
[10:48]
Alimony Tony
No, I never have and I never will. Why would they? That's true.
[10:51]
Brodgers
They're just following your lead.
[10:54]
Alimony Tony
My sperm mimicking my generational wealth behaviors.
[10:58]
Brodgers
I've read a few papers about it.
[11:00]
Alimony Tony
Well, that's karma, if you ask me.
[11:02]
Brodgers
Well, I mean, you never wanted children, so is it really.
[11:05]
Alimony Tony
But, I mean, now that's all I can think about.
[11:07]
Brodgers
Oh, God.
[11:07]
Alimony Tony
Now that it's been taken away from me, it's all I can think about.
[11:09]
Brodgers
You know what? You should take Danny to lunch, see what it's like to be a father to her.
[11:14]
Alimony Tony
Oh, I see. I see. Okay, well, I don't know. Hmm? I don't know if I get that.
[11:20]
Brodgers
What's the downside?
[11:22]
Alimony Tony
Well, I guess the downside would be not really getting that vibe, you know, not knowing what it's like because of this person who seems to depend on you for everything.
[11:31]
Brodgers
But she. But honestly, she's seeking a father figure. I think you're going to get that vibe from her. Just. You know what? Just trust me. Have I ever steered you wrong before? No is the answer. Let me set up a lunch. It can be something casual, like a, you know, la salsa or something. Just something. Just something simple. Meat for a burrito. See how it goes.
[11:55]
Alimony Tony
Just a simple burrito. Meet and greet and see if I get the feeling she is desperately looking for a father figure.
[12:01]
Brodgers
Desperately.
[12:02]
Alimony Tony
And perhaps she could be a daughter figure for me.
[12:04]
Brodgers
Mm, yes.
[12:05]
Alimony Tony
All right. But no guarantees.
[12:07]
Brodgers
No. And you don't even know what that's gonna do to your sperm. Just acting out.
[12:11]
Alimony Tony
Hadn't even thought about that.
[12:12]
Brodgers
Might even just trigger them.
[12:14]
Alimony Tony
I mean, I might be too old to be a father, though. That's the thing, you know?
[12:18]
Brodgers
I don't let age stop me, so.
[12:20]
Alimony Tony
Well, I know, but, brodgers, you're cut from a different cloth than I am.
[12:23]
Brodgers
That is true.
[12:26]
Alimony Tony
As I said, you're type A minus. That's how type a you are.
[12:29]
Brodgers
I like to think myself as a.
[12:30]
Alimony Tony
Well, I meant below. I should have said minus A. Oh, okay. Yeah. You're the negative Alphabet integers for your type.
[12:39]
Brodgers
Interesting.
[12:40]
Alimony Tony
Type A people see you and they say, I wish I could get it done like she does.
[12:43]
Brodgers
Ah, of course. Yes. Well, you're right about that.
[12:45]
Alimony Tony
All right, brodgers, I'm now going to introduce our first guest.
[12:48]
Brodgers
I'm Thrilled. I'm excited.
[12:50]
Alimony Tony
Both us.
[12:52]
Brodgers
I'm excited to meet her. I'm thrilled to be here.
[12:54]
Alimony Tony
I'm glad to hear it. Ed Brodgers. I'm thrilled to have you here as always.
[13:00]
Brodgers
Thank you, thank you.
[13:01]
Alimony Tony
Thank you for those mouth sounds. I would like to. Hold on a second. I got to get my numbers straight. This part could be cut out.
[13:15]
Brodgers
Shall I sing an interlude song while we.
[13:17]
Alimony Tony
Of course you should.
[13:19]
Brodgers
Welcome to the Broger Show. We like to have guests like Alamony Tony. But it's not just his show. It's mine, too. Please call Danny if you need me.
[13:30]
Alimony Tony
That was really turned into a jiggle at the end. I like that a lot. All right. Now, in the past, we've interviewed wife number 16, number 17. And one number remains mysteriously unnoted in my notes app. But now we're going to introduce. This is a pretty recent wife. We're going to go all the way up to number five. 54.
[13:57]
Brodgers
Oh, exciting.
[13:58]
Alimony Tony
And it's none other than Miss Josephine Tooth Fontaine.
[14:03]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Tony.
[14:04]
Alimony Tony
Jojo. How are you?
[14:05]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Oh, you're the only person who calls me Jojo.
[14:07]
Alimony Tony
I know. And I didn't think. You know what? It's fine. Here's the thing, Josephine. Is that the first time I said it? It just fell out Naturally. Just, here's Jojo.
[14:14]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Well, that's the thing. You don't want people to force a nickname. It's pathetic.
[14:17]
Alimony Tony
No, exactly. I didn't realize I was gonna call you Jojo.
[14:19]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And I loved it. Cause normally when people try to give me a nickname, it's Heen.
[14:23]
Alimony Tony
Yeah. Why do people do that? I don't. I knew so many Heens growing up.
[14:26]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Trying to be unique, I guess.
[14:28]
Alimony Tony
I guess Jojo's right there. And I look at you when I see a Jojo, and.
[14:33]
Jin Boo
Why?
[14:34]
Alimony Tony
Because that's who you are. And I think because, you know, because Josephine. A beautiful grand name.
[14:40]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And I'm not.
[14:41]
Alimony Tony
No, that's. Now, hold on a second.
[14:43]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Sorry. My self esteem. Working on it.
[14:45]
Alimony Tony
You. You're from. You are from a long line of grand people. The Fontaine family. The Tooth Fontaine family. And yes.
[14:52]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
No tooth erasure.
[14:57]
Alimony Tony
You can't have the Fonte without the tooth.
[14:58]
Eleanor Lindor
Amen.
[14:59]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That's what my mom and dad say when they hyphenated the names.
[15:02]
Alimony Tony
That's right. And so your father was Tooth.
[15:04]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
My father was Tooth. My mom, Fontaine.
[15:06]
Alimony Tony
Yes. And how did they meet? We weren't married long enough for me to ask you a lot of these questions.
[15:09]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I was fast.
[15:11]
Alimony Tony
It was fast. We were married for 72 hours.
[15:14]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
What a 72 hours.
[15:15]
Alimony Tony
What a 72 hours.
[15:17]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
What a 72 hours.
[15:18]
Alimony Tony
They were hours. 70 was when things started to go south.
[15:20]
Jin Boo
Yes.
[15:21]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
It got really ugly.
[15:21]
Alimony Tony
Yeah.
[15:22]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Violent, but in a fun way.
[15:24]
Alimony Tony
In a fun way. We were laughing the whole time.
[15:27]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
It was silly, but.
[15:28]
Alimony Tony
It was silly. But also it signified the end of our marriage.
[15:30]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
We knew we couldn't go there again.
[15:32]
Alimony Tony
Exactly.
[15:32]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
But we were laughing the whole time.
[15:33]
Alimony Tony
We were laughing the whole time.
[15:35]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I love to laugh.
[15:35]
Alimony Tony
We laughed all the way to the emergency room.
[15:37]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And still scars to this day. Same, but not emotionally. Because I was having so much fun.
[15:42]
Alimony Tony
Exactly. I was having a. I was having an absolute ball. And I remember the doctor said, please stop smiling. We're trying to put you under. So, Josephine, how have you been? We got divorced. It's gonna be a year and a half now since last we were married. And how have you been in the interim?
[16:02]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
You know, really good. Business booming. As you know. I work in private animal security.
[16:06]
Alimony Tony
Animal security?
[16:07]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Yes. And I got a really big client.
[16:11]
Alimony Tony
Really?
[16:12]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Bullseye Target Dog.
[16:15]
Alimony Tony
Well, first of all, this is flabbergasting. I didn't know he had a name.
[16:19]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes.
[16:19]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Bullseye. Because of the thing around the eye?
[16:21]
Alimony Tony
Yes, exactly.
[16:21]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Yes.
[16:22]
Alimony Tony
And is he. Is he nice?
[16:24]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
He's an amazing guy. Funny, which, you know, I love.
[16:28]
Alimony Tony
You love funny.
[16:29]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And humble.
[16:30]
Alimony Tony
It's true.
[16:31]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
For someone who's that famous. Humble. And that's, you know, it's hard to come by. I mean, my grandpa worked with Seabiscuit. Dick, Nasty Freak and Pervert. They don't talk about it in the movie.
[16:42]
Alimony Tony
He was a small horse and I think he had something to prove.
[16:44]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
He really did.
[16:45]
Alimony Tony
Yeah.
[16:46]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
The Bullia complex.
[16:47]
Alimony Tony
Ah, speaking of Josephine's. So let me ask you, what does your job entail? Like, if you're doing private security for Bullseye.
[16:57]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Yes.
[16:58]
Alimony Tony
What is it that you have to do?
[16:59]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
So I accompany him to any kind of appearance or photo shoot or anything where there might be fan interfacing. Think of like any celebrity who has a bodyguard. Like a Taylor Swift or something like that. I'm that for a dog.
[17:12]
Alimony Tony
Absolutely. Do you have an earpiece?
[17:14]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I do have an earpiece.
[17:15]
Alimony Tony
What is it connected to?
[17:16]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Oh, I can't tell you. Right up to kill you. Headquarters.
[17:22]
Alimony Tony
Headquarters, yes. So this is. This is a pretty big operation.
[17:25]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Long Death or Long Decker and Tooth. Family business, of course, collaborating with the Long Long Decker dynasty.
[17:34]
Alimony Tony
This is quite a marriage of two houses, if I may.
[17:36]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I agree.
[17:37]
Alimony Tony
Because the Log Deckers are quite a famous family.
[17:40]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
They had Babe.
[17:41]
Alimony Tony
They had Babe and When? And then they had him until he was the pig of the city.
[17:46]
Lowe's Announcer
Yeah.
[17:46]
Alimony Tony
And then he decided to go with someone else.
[17:48]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Devastating blow. But we did get Air Bud. That was pretty huge for the company. That was my die, of course.
[17:55]
Alimony Tony
Of course. And this is the original Air Bud, who's very elderly right now.
[17:59]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Ancient.
[17:59]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[18:00]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Some would even say dead.
[18:01]
Alimony Tony
But it's hard to tell with dogs.
[18:05]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
But nothing to do with us.
[18:06]
Alimony Tony
No, of course not.
[18:07]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
It is hard to tell.
[18:08]
Alimony Tony
Of course not.
[18:08]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I mean, they're smiling.
[18:09]
Alimony Tony
Yes. They're always even in death.
[18:12]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And that's what's so beautiful about them. That's what I love about them. The spirit, the vibe.
[18:16]
Alimony Tony
Do you do just dogs exclusively or you have other people have specialties?
[18:20]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I love dogs for me. Everything else just creeps me out. I think animals are disgusting. Except for a beautiful beast of a dog.
[18:28]
Scott Aukerman
Really?
[18:28]
Alimony Tony
You don't listen. No other animal does it for you?
[18:31]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
No other animal does it for me. If I could press a button and kill the rest of the animals on planet Earth.
[18:34]
Alimony Tony
Well, Jojo, that is extreme.
[18:37]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I know, but that's who I am. That's why we were throwing plates at each other.
[18:40]
Alimony Tony
You don't worry about the ecosystem?
[18:42]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
No, that has nothing to do with me.
[18:44]
Alimony Tony
Well, I mean, it will eventually.
[18:45]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Eh. I want to be in a bunker by then.
[18:48]
Jin Boo
Or in space.
[18:49]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
On Mars.
[18:49]
Alimony Tony
Oh, that would be fun. What planet? Is there any planet you don't want to go to?
[18:55]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Neptune.
[18:56]
Jin Boo
Why?
[18:57]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Seems freaky there. Like pervert vibes.
[19:00]
Alimony Tony
Okay, I'm going to. This is a good question. I'm going to ask the other wives what planet they don't want to go to.
[19:05]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
What about you?
[19:07]
Alimony Tony
That I don't want to go to.
[19:08]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That you don't want to go to. I know it's tricky because you're such a positive guy.
[19:12]
Alimony Tony
I am a positive guy. I love all the planets. I'm going to say. I'm going to say Saturn. Because isn't it just gas or is.
[19:20]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That Jupiter just gas? Talk about me after I go to Taco Bell.
[19:25]
Scott Aukerman
How about that?
[19:26]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I'm silly.
[19:27]
Alimony Tony
You are silly. I guess. Yeah, I guess. The one. The one that's just all a big ball of gas because I feel like I'd fall through.
[19:36]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That could be scary. But then you can find out what's on the other side.
[19:39]
Alimony Tony
Well, it's just more gas, isn't it?
[19:40]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Damn it, you're smart.
[19:47]
Alimony Tony
Let me ask you something. Would you ever. I understand your hatred for other animals.
[19:51]
Eleanor Lindor
Uh huh.
[19:53]
Alimony Tony
Somebody comes to you and they say, we got a Big client for you. Jonathan, the tortoise for the Seychelles.
[20:02]
Scott Aukerman
Wow.
[20:03]
Alimony Tony
The oldest land mammal living.
[20:05]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Yes.
[20:06]
Alimony Tony
He's over 150 years old. Would you take him on?
[20:10]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Can we put a dog ear on him, perhaps? So I'm not so stupid.
[20:14]
Alimony Tony
Did you say dog gear or a dog ear?
[20:16]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Dog ear, but that would be a dog gear. So in many ways we're both right.
[20:20]
Alimony Tony
In many ways we are. Jojo, you have that silver lining mentality that I really enjoy.
[20:25]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I believe in the future and I.
[20:27]
Alimony Tony
Wish it had worked out for us, but it didn't.
[20:29]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I know.
[20:29]
Brodgers
May I ask a question?
[20:30]
Eleanor Lindor
Hey.
[20:31]
Alimony Tony
Yes, Broderick.
[20:32]
Brodgers
It's almost as if you're getting to know each other right here and now. And so I just wonder that. 72 hours. What did you talk about? What did you do?
[20:40]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
South Park.
[20:41]
Alimony Tony
Yeah, we talked about South park for 72.
[20:44]
Brodgers
That makes sense. That makes sense.
[20:46]
Alimony Tony
And, you know, I wasn't a fan and Jojo brought me around.
[20:49]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Look, it's funny. I know they're saying a lot of messed up stuff on there, but I'm laughing. It's very funny, Kenny. I'm laughing.
[20:55]
Alimony Tony
Yeah.
[20:56]
Brodgers
He's a very powerful bastard.
[20:59]
Alimony Tony
They kill him every time.
[21:00]
Brodgers
Cow.
[21:00]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That's Carmen.
[21:02]
Alimony Tony
Respect my authorita.
[21:04]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I mean, I'm laughing and it's just you doing the voice and me doing the voice.
[21:07]
Alimony Tony
And I'm laughing and I'm laughing too.
[21:08]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Pale imitation.
[21:10]
Brodgers
Two peas in a pod.
[21:12]
Alimony Tony
Do you like South Park Projects?
[21:13]
Brodgers
I've never seen it. I've never seen it.
[21:15]
Alimony Tony
Oh, you got it.
[21:15]
Brodgers
Popular show. It's a very popular.
[21:17]
Alimony Tony
Popular. You gotta see it. You gotta see it.
[21:19]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
There's over 2,000 seasons and you can watch it anytime.
[21:24]
Alimony Tony
Quality is the same to all of them. And let me tell you something, like, these guys are irreverent. They take no prisoners.
[21:31]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And by the way, guys. It's guys.
[21:33]
Alimony Tony
It's guys.
[21:35]
Brodgers
I would assume. Very interesting. So lovely to meet you.
[21:40]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Oh, it's lovely to meet you too. I love meeting a woman in business.
[21:44]
Brodgers
And that I am.
[21:46]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Any tips for a gal who really can't keep her finances in order?
[21:50]
Alimony Tony
The mentor is at work again. The mentor is in.
[21:54]
Brodgers
Well, I'd be happy to give you my number and we can discuss your numbers. But of course, what I like to say is, if you don't need it tomorrow, don't buy it today.
[22:04]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That's so hard. Cause I love buying stuff every day.
[22:06]
Alimony Tony
It's fun to buy stuff.
[22:08]
Brodgers
Do you need it tomorrow? What did you last buy? What was Your last purchase?
[22:12]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
60 pack of beer.
[22:14]
Brodgers
Okay. Okay. 60 pack of beer. And why did you go for the 60 pack?
[22:20]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Well, it was 2:30 racks taped together.
[22:22]
Brodgers
Okay.
[22:23]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I just felt like it would probably be a good deal if I bought two at the same time.
[22:27]
Brodgers
Was it a two for one deal?
[22:29]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
No.
[22:30]
Brodgers
So it wasn't on sale? No. But you just still felt it would be a good deal?
[22:34]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
It felt like it could be a good deal, yeah.
[22:36]
Brodgers
Okay.
[22:37]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Potentially. Cuz sometimes when you buy stuff at bulk, like at a Costco or something, then you are getting a good deal. So I thought that maybe perhaps that was what I was doing.
[22:44]
Brodgers
Were you at a Costco?
[22:46]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
No.
[22:46]
Brodgers
Right.
[22:47]
Alimony Tony
It's a great deal though, because a 50 pack is essentially two cases of beer, two other beers thrown in.
[22:55]
Brodgers
And so how's this a good deal? You don't Even know it's 60 beers, but you don't even know what it costs. How do you know if it's a good deal?
[23:01]
Alimony Tony
Oh, good question.
[23:03]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I was in a beverage barn, so they kind of set their own prices. Okay, so $75.
[23:07]
Brodgers
$75.
[23:08]
Lowe's Announcer
Mm.
[23:09]
Brodgers
What kind of beer?
[23:10]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Natty.
[23:10]
Brodgers
Okay.
[23:11]
Alimony Tony
Natty Bow.
[23:12]
Brodgers
Natty's ice for $75 for.
[23:15]
Alimony Tony
Oh, Natty Ice or Natty Bo.
[23:16]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Natty Light, actually.
[23:17]
Alimony Tony
Natty Light? Yeah.
[23:20]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Sort of piss in a can.
[23:21]
Alimony Tony
Absolutely.
[23:22]
Brodgers
And do you, do you drink beer?
[23:24]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Oh, I feed it to Bullseye.
[23:25]
Brodgers
Got it.
[23:26]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Well, it's all I will drink.
[23:28]
Brodgers
Then you can write it off because it's a business.
[23:30]
Alimony Tony
There you go. What's more? What's more adorable than a dog drinking beer?
[23:35]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh.
[23:38]
Brodgers
I can't think of anything.
[23:39]
Alimony Tony
Okay, Aston answered.
[23:41]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
How about all the south park kids riding that while it drinks beer?
[23:45]
Alimony Tony
Heidi Ho.
[23:47]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
So that's kind of funny too.
[23:48]
Alimony Tony
It is kind of funny. Jojo, you make me laug laugh.
[23:51]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Thanks.
[23:52]
Alimony Tony
All right. There's no plates nearby, are there? Oh, startling. But it did. Oh, it really woke me up.
[24:02]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Good morning.
[24:03]
Alimony Tony
All right, Jojo, I hope you could stick around.
[24:06]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I hope so too.
[24:09]
Scott Aukerman
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[27:42]
Jin Boo
VRBoCare is here 24. 7 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach. Reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly. Because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.
[28:12]
Alimony Tony
All right, next up. Boy, it's been a while. This is wife number six, please welcome to the show, the one and only Jin Boo.
[28:26]
Jin Boo
Oh, dang it. I want you to round the corner. I want to surprise you out this bush. Frick.
[28:32]
Alimony Tony
How are you doing?
[28:33]
Jin Boo
Well, you know, I'm always doing good.
[28:35]
Scott Aukerman
Tony.
[28:35]
Jin Boo
It's nice to see you.
[28:36]
Alimony Tony
It's nice to see you.
[28:37]
Jin Boo
Your little gorgeous smile.
[28:39]
Alimony Tony
Oh, you. Coming from you. Come on. The person who invented the gorgeous smile.
[28:47]
Jin Boo
I got a bag and fixed my teeth.
[28:49]
Alimony Tony
They look terrific. Thank you. And they look natural, too. They don't look fake.
[28:54]
Jin Boo
Okay, well, the first set was quite wooden, so I really. I said make them longer and less square.
[29:01]
Alimony Tony
Right. And were they. Were they like. Was it stained wood or did they look like teeth?
[29:06]
Jin Boo
Oh, I did the stained wood. I did the stained wood, but then I asked them on the two front ones to do like someone left a. A drink on it too long. Oh, little rig with a little ring.
[29:15]
Alimony Tony
Yeah, absolutely.
[29:17]
Jin Boo
But it's creative. Scared folks. So I said, you know what? Give me regular set. I'm not fancy at all.
[29:26]
Alimony Tony
Well, they look terrific. Thank you. And I imagine you could eat more things than you used to be able to eat.
[29:30]
Jin Boo
Oh, yeah. Did you see me wolfing down that candy apple?
[29:33]
Alimony Tony
I did.
[29:34]
Jin Boo
Oh, I went to town.
[29:35]
Alimony Tony
I didn't know it was you at first. I was like, I can't be Gin. She can't eat a candy apple.
[29:40]
Jin Boo
Exactly. I keep you guessing.
[29:42]
Alimony Tony
You really do.
[29:43]
Eleanor Lindor
Gin.
[29:44]
Alimony Tony
Now, we were married for a year and a half, and that first year was wonderful.
[29:48]
Jin Boo
Oh, my God.
[29:49]
Alimony Tony
And then that lasts six months.
[29:50]
Jin Boo
It was wonderful. Well, I felt like you did not support my dreams.
[29:56]
Scott Aukerman
Oh.
[29:56]
Alimony Tony
And you know what? You're right. I. I had some time to do some introspection, and I realized I could have been more supportive of your dreams.
[30:03]
Jin Boo
Well, you know, I always want to be my own boss.
[30:05]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[30:06]
Jin Boo
So I. You Know did herbalife for a while.
[30:08]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[30:09]
Jin Boo
And you said that you thought it was a pyramid scheme and crap.
[30:12]
Alimony Tony
I said it bad. Just so you know. I did say that out of concern.
[30:15]
Scott Aukerman
You did.
[30:16]
Alimony Tony
The word crap, I guess, was a little judgmental. But it was not judgmental on you. It was more the herbalife people I thought were crap.
[30:22]
Jin Boo
And you know what? You were right. You were right. They were crap.
[30:26]
Alimony Tony
Well, that's. I mean, that's a cold comfort to me that. That I'm right about that. Because I know they did take a lot of your money and time.
[30:32]
Jin Boo
They did.
[30:33]
Alimony Tony
And. But. But did you end up becoming your own boss another way?
[30:37]
Jin Boo
Well, as you know, I hit you up when I started doing leggings.
[30:41]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[30:41]
Jin Boo
And that fell right through.
[30:44]
Alimony Tony
So turbid's keep.
[30:45]
Jin Boo
Right, right, right. And I said, you know what? Never again. And then I got into arbonne.
[30:49]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[30:50]
Jin Boo
And yeah. And though some products are doing well, others call, they are just suffering.
[30:59]
Alimony Tony
What are the ones that are not doing well?
[31:01]
Jin Boo
Oh, the fizzy ginseng drinks, Those are not moving right. Much like these teeth.
[31:07]
Alimony Tony
They're not going anywhere. Look out, candy apples.
[31:13]
Jin Boo
You always made me laugh.
[31:14]
Alimony Tony
You always made me laugh.
[31:15]
Jin Boo
No, I mean, I'm no.
[31:17]
Alimony Tony
Okay.
[31:18]
Jin Boo
I'm no Joe, I'm no cartman, that's for sure.
[31:21]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
But, well, who could be?
[31:22]
Jin Boo
No, exactly, exactly, exactly. But actually, I'm so glad you're here too, because, bro, I feel like I need to get my finances in order. And perhaps I could be part of your lady business day.
[31:34]
Alimony Tony
Rogers, they're really putting you to work on this episode.
[31:37]
Brodgers
You know what would be lovely, Tony, Is if you could schedule a sort of class that I could teach, sponsored by you. Provide some catering, you know, so we could have lunch together. And I could kind of teach all these lovely ladies about finances and running your own businesses. And the red flags to tell. Is this a pyramid scheme? Is it not? You know, because I think people don't know the red flags to look for.
[32:02]
Alimony Tony
Yeah, I think a helpful thing to do, and this is even before we set up the luncheon, is to. If you get involved in any kind of sort of scheme like this, to remember the name of it. You know, they say the name of the thing, then you type into the computer that. That name. And then afterwards, pyramid scheme. Let's see what comes up.
[32:23]
Jin Boo
I never even thought of that.
[32:24]
Alimony Tony
A lot of times you can head it off at the past.
[32:26]
Jin Boo
Okay, well, I'm not a computer guy. Oh, but you Know Braxton, my daughter, she and my other daughter, Jalen, they are so good on the computer. I said, girls, can you come help me with the computer? And they're like, no, we're doing our games. So I'll ask them. I'll ask them next time.
[32:44]
Alimony Tony
How old are those two now?
[32:45]
Jin Boo
Oh, they're 16.
[32:46]
Opendoor Announcer
19.
[32:47]
Alimony Tony
16 and a boy. Time flies.
[32:49]
Jin Boo
It does, doesn't it?
[32:50]
Alimony Tony
And they, they, they're wonderful girls. Of course, they didn't come from our union.
[32:55]
Jin Boo
No.
[32:56]
Alimony Tony
But I did get a chance to meet them and act as a sort of unofficial godfather to them and, you know, help with their education.
[33:03]
Jin Boo
Now, you know what they said about you?
[33:05]
Alimony Tony
What did they say?
[33:06]
Jin Boo
They said that you were given off real golden retriever energy.
[33:10]
Brodgers
That is spot on.
[33:12]
Jin Boo
Exactly. And I said, girls, that's the thing. Braxton, Kaylin, you have got it exactly right. This is what broke us up, is that we'd be having so much fun at a party. We'd get into the car and I would say, oh, Toni, can you imagine what Margaret? What did she mean by that? It was so charged. And he'd say, what do you mean?
[33:32]
Alimony Tony
I think she was plenty nice.
[33:35]
Jin Boo
And he wouldn't even pick up on the things that I was really noticing.
[33:39]
Alimony Tony
Yeah. And that was. And that's on me because I did not have a finely tuned radar for that sort of thing. But, Jid, I gotta say, the many arguments we had in the car leaving parties about these passive aggressive people, I started to put it all together and now I feel like I'm better equipped, okay, to be aware of that sort of thing. So a retroactive apology to you, Jen, because I did not. I was not as supportive of what you were saying at the time. And I was inadvertently gaslighting you, something I never want to do.
[34:13]
Jin Boo
I did not expect that, Tony, because I actually have an apology to you.
[34:17]
Alimony Tony
What, Jen? I can't imagine what.
[34:19]
Jin Boo
Well, I would always preface my shit talk with, you know. I'd rather walk on my own lips and say something ill about someone else. But I did mean some meal, so I guess I was. Guess I knew, too.
[34:31]
Alimony Tony
I guess you were. Because then you would proceed to say the absolute worst thing.
[34:34]
Jin Boo
Val.
[34:35]
Alimony Tony
Yeah, just vile. Just. I remember blushing. I remember my ears turning red. Some of the things you said.
[34:41]
Jin Boo
Oh, yeah. Pure venom.
[34:42]
Alimony Tony
Pure, pure, unadulterated. Oh, my God.
[34:45]
Jin Boo
But I gotta say, I was pretty creative back then.
[34:48]
Alimony Tony
You were indeed. You were indeed.
[34:50]
Brodgers
So now, what a moment of growth for you two.
[34:54]
Jin Boo
Oh, my God.
[34:54]
Brodgers
The apologies. The scene that you were completely wrong Tony. And being able to look at Jen here and saying, I was wrong and I'm so sorry for ruining our marriage. And I think that's a great moment of growth for you.
[35:07]
Alimony Tony
You know, I think it's wonderful. Because when you think about it, most people are wrong. They're just wrong all the time. And we have to acknowledge that.
[35:14]
Brodgers
Right?
[35:15]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And maybe we could have Panera at the luncheon.
[35:17]
Brodgers
You know what? That sounds like a fantastic idea, Tony. Panera.
[35:22]
Alimony Tony
I love it. Now, have they fixed that lemonade problem?
[35:25]
Brodgers
We're not gonna have the lemonade.
[35:27]
Jin Boo
It's charged.
[35:28]
Alimony Tony
But it's.
[35:28]
Brodgers
I make my own lemonade. You know that. I make an excellent lemonade.
[35:32]
Alimony Tony
But if we're gonna go to Panera for the lemonade, I just feel like we might as well get the lemonade from them as well if they have made it so that it doesn't kill people anymore.
[35:41]
Brodgers
Okay, if you think you need the energy, we'll get the lemonade. But I think if people really need that kind of. I mean, get a prescription to Adderall. I don't know. We shouldn't rely on Panera.
[35:51]
Alimony Tony
But a lot of people, their insurance won't cover it. And then they have to get the doctor to lie and say, no, this person is fucked up.
[35:56]
Brodgers
Well, guess what? I'm adding insurance to the class list of things we need to talk about.
[36:01]
Jin Boo
That's great.
[36:02]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That would help the class.
[36:03]
Alimony Tony
What's the class?
[36:04]
Brodgers
The list for the class.
[36:05]
Alimony Tony
Oh, for the class. Oh, it's an official class now?
[36:06]
Brodgers
It's a class? Yeah, I'm teaching. What do you mean? I'm a teacher to these women. That's what I'm saying. I'm their mentor.
[36:12]
Alimony Tony
I'm teaching them. I'm so sorry, Brock.
[36:14]
Brodgers
In a class setting. We're having Panera for lunch. Lunch on lunch break.
[36:17]
Alimony Tony
Rogers, with you. Everything moves so fast that I.
[36:20]
Brodgers
It has to.
[36:21]
Alimony Tony
You weren't a teacher before.
[36:22]
Brodgers
And I didn't even drink the Panera lemonade.
[36:24]
Eleanor Lindor
This is just.
[36:25]
Brodgers
To me, this is just all natural.
[36:27]
Alimony Tony
You're supercharged. We went from. You didn't have any students or anything. And now you have an official class that's being catered by Panera.
[36:35]
Brodgers
Absolutely. I've come up with a whole schedule.
[36:37]
Alimony Tony
This is. In the time that we've been sitting here talking.
[36:40]
Brodgers
What else should I be doing? Women asked for my help.
[36:43]
Alimony Tony
You are a woman.
[36:44]
Jin Boo
I got women into STEM also. Is it possible to get those real.
[36:48]
Alimony Tony
Can I ask. Ask a question.
[36:49]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[36:50]
Alimony Tony
What does that mean?
[36:52]
Jin Boo
This is a fun thing.
[36:53]
Alimony Tony
That's a phrase I've heard many, many times, and I think it's positive, but I don't know what it means. I don't know what the stem is. Does it stand for something?
[37:02]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Sexy, teeny, evil men.
[37:05]
Jin Boo
Okay, spot on.
[37:06]
Alimony Tony
Sexy, teeny, evil men.
[37:08]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Dude, I'll do a sexy, teeny, evil man.
[37:12]
Eleanor Lindor
You got it.
[37:12]
Alimony Tony
For my job. It's not a job. It's an avid vocation. Obviously, I haven't made a single time. Yeah. So what did women mean? Does anyone know?
[37:23]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Well, I said what I thought, which.
[37:25]
Brodgers
I. I think is correct.
[37:28]
Alimony Tony
It is. Sexy, teeny, evil men.
[37:30]
Brodgers
That's all I've ever heard.
[37:31]
Alimony Tony
Okay, women get in it. All right. And now we're going to introduce a fourth guest. This lady and I, we were married. This was in the high 20s. I want to say number 28. And we were married for approximately three months, give or take. Please welcome to the show, Eleanor Lindor. Eleanor. Thank you.
[37:58]
Eleanor Lindor
Hello, Tony. How are you doing? It looks so good. How's your poor spur? My heart is aching.
[38:02]
Alimony Tony
It's the same, just sitting there.
[38:05]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, my goodness. We had so much fun. Didn't we have so much fun?
[38:08]
Alimony Tony
So much fun.
[38:09]
Eleanor Lindor
We much had so, so much fun. Can I call you Jody?
[38:12]
Alimony Tony
Of course you could call. That's my name.
[38:13]
Eleanor Lindor
Just wanted to be sure, but don't want to be informal. Yes, we had such a good time, didn't we? That three months was like a party the entire time.
[38:22]
Alimony Tony
It was a party.
[38:22]
Eleanor Lindor
It was a party. Was I the richest wife you ever had?
[38:26]
Alimony Tony
Yes, you were.
[38:27]
Eleanor Lindor
Okay.
[38:27]
Alimony Tony
You were almost as rich.
[38:28]
Eleanor Lindor
Eleanor Lindor. My father being Griffin or Lindor. I'm the heiress to the Lindor chocolate family. I do all their commercials. Chocolate take you away.
[38:39]
Alimony Tony
Do you ever meet the. The chocolate chef who pours the. The chocolate on the commercial?
[38:44]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, he is. He's so good at cunus.
[38:49]
Alimony Tony
So you have better.
[38:49]
Eleanor Lindor
I'm surprised you could just tell by looking at him, you know, that he's.
[38:54]
Alimony Tony
So good at it. You could just tell from looking at it. The way he pours that chocolate. You think, oh, boy. You know what that means?
[39:01]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
You know, he'd root around.
[39:03]
Eleanor Lindor
You know, he's root around. That's right. JoJo, is it? I love you. I love you. And Jim, broadcast. Let me tell you what a wonderful, fabulous trio of ladies quartette. I didn't involve myself. I don't like to involve myself.
[39:16]
Jin Boo
You should. You are royalty.
[39:18]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, thank you so much. We had such a good time. Jimmy, do you remember that time that we rented out the Panama Canal.
[39:25]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[39:27]
Eleanor Lindor
And we had. Who did we have to. We had Ted Bundy.
[39:31]
Alimony Tony
We had. Ted Bundy was there.
[39:33]
Brodgers
What?
[39:34]
Alimony Tony
And he just left. It was sort of like a dunk tank.
[39:36]
Eleanor Lindor
He was so good at karaoke.
[39:38]
Alimony Tony
You could go up to him and you could just say, you stink.
[39:40]
Eleanor Lindor
Ted Bundy, he just took it. He just knew. He knew it was the deal. He knew what the deal was. He knew what the deal.
[39:46]
Alimony Tony
But he was a terrific Sega.
[39:50]
Eleanor Lindor
Islands in the Stream was it. I think that's what I. We do edited.
[39:54]
Alimony Tony
We do edited. And he said, well, watch this. Ted Bundy got up there, did both parts.
[39:59]
Brodgers
What a talent.
[40:02]
Alimony Tony
You know, it's really a shame about the other stuff because he could have had a nice career.
[40:06]
Brodgers
Yeah. But clearly he had, you know, interests in several areas.
[40:09]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[40:10]
Opendoor Announcer
You know what?
[40:10]
Eleanor Lindor
May I just say, I'm sorry to interrupt, but, Rogers, I have to tell you, I know that you're doing this wonderful Panera luncheon, which I.
[40:17]
Brodgers
That you're absolutely invited to.
[40:18]
Eleanor Lindor
Right.
[40:18]
Brodgers
I don't.
[40:19]
Eleanor Lindor
Although it seems like you have your fine arrows. I don't sit in a Panera. I can't make Panera sexy. I guess I could maybe be there, so. And I could some sort of make a change. But I just have to tell you that you have a voice for chocolate. Have you ever thought about that?
[40:34]
Brodgers
It's all I think about.
[40:36]
Eleanor Lindor
Are you serious?
[40:38]
Brodgers
I think about white chocolate. I think about milk. I think about dark. I think about all the different kinds.
[40:43]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, she knows all the kinds.
[40:43]
Brodgers
You're halfway there.
[40:44]
Alimony Tony
She knows all the kinds.
[40:45]
Eleanor Lindor
She knows all the kinds.
[40:46]
Alimony Tony
White dog, milk.
[40:47]
Eleanor Lindor
And then hazelnut. That's it. You've got it.
[40:49]
Brodgers
And then hazelnut.
[40:51]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, did you hear that? Oh, my God. Listen. Because, listen, someday I'm gonna have to retire, sweetheart. And I'm telling you, you're the front runner right now. Please.
[40:58]
Brodgers
Hazelnut.
[41:00]
Alimony Tony
Let's clip that out. My engineer, Scott, let's clip that out in case they want to use it for the Lord. Truffles.
[41:06]
Brodgers
Truffles.
[41:08]
Alimony Tony
Scott's got work.
[41:09]
Eleanor Lindor
See, this is amazing. This is where the synergy. When you bring. When you bring a bunch of women together.
[41:14]
Alimony Tony
Exactly.
[41:15]
Scott Aukerman
Women.
[41:15]
Eleanor Lindor
And stem.
[41:17]
Brodgers
We sink. We sink and we. It's like we're one powerful woman.
[41:22]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, I certainly hope we're all not going to sing cycles. Otherwise, boom, you've all gotten menopause just now. Sorry, ladies. Oh, is it hot in here?
[41:30]
Alimony Tony
Congrats.
[41:30]
Eleanor Lindor
No, seriously, is it hot in here?
[41:31]
Brodgers
I'm very hot.
[41:32]
Alimony Tony
It's not actually. It's quite cool.
[41:33]
Eleanor Lindor
God damn it. It's just me. Oh, we had such a good time.
[41:36]
Alimony Tony
Don't you remember? Such a good time.
[41:38]
Eleanor Lindor
Such a good time.
[41:39]
Alimony Tony
We had a wonderful time. We were drunk for most of it.
[41:41]
Eleanor Lindor
We were drunk for most of it. And we were in the most fabulous places.
[41:44]
Alimony Tony
It's the most I've ever drunk in my life.
[41:45]
Eleanor Lindor
For that time, we. We were in the Tower of London.
[41:48]
Alimony Tony
Yes. And we rented it out.
[41:50]
Eleanor Lindor
We rented it out.
[41:51]
Alimony Tony
We made it. We did. We did. A bouncy house over the Tower of London to scale. You could bounce on any part of it.
[41:59]
Eleanor Lindor
It was epic.
[42:00]
Alimony Tony
It was epic.
[42:01]
Eleanor Lindor
Half of Monty Python was there.
[42:03]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[42:03]
Eleanor Lindor
All of our absolutely fabulous was there.
[42:06]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[42:06]
Eleanor Lindor
And none of the queens was there.
[42:08]
Alimony Tony
None of the queens was there.
[42:10]
Eleanor Lindor
Neither the musical group nor the royalty.
[42:12]
Alimony Tony
Not at all.
[42:13]
Eleanor Lindor
But they. Because it was a secret we didn't know. We thought the world was our oyster it was.
[42:17]
Alimony Tony
We were trying all the crown jewels Having a laugh, we'd say we took pictures with them we ate a raven.
[42:25]
Eleanor Lindor
With our bare hands. The world was ours.
[42:28]
Alimony Tony
The world. That was a wild time.
[42:30]
Eleanor Lindor
It was a wild time. Why didn't we make it, Tony? Can I call you Tony?
[42:34]
Alimony Tony
You can call me Tony.
[42:35]
Eleanor Lindor
I'm sorry, I forgot.
[42:35]
Alimony Tony
No, that's fine. You forgot my name or you forgot. You could call me Tony.
[42:39]
Eleanor Lindor
I. Both.
[42:40]
Alimony Tony
Well, my name is Tony and you could call me.
[42:42]
Eleanor Lindor
Okay, good.
[42:43]
Alimony Tony
I think it was that we sobered up and then we looked at each other and you did with a look of absolute.
[42:48]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh. In that one moment, that one day that I was sober, remember, you had.
[42:51]
Alimony Tony
That moment of clarity.
[42:52]
Eleanor Lindor
I did. I had the moment of clarity. I had it in the cvs and it was because it was the first place with overhead lighting that I'd been in three months with you because I'd been in places that were fabulous. You know, they were always lit wonderfully. You know, the Disneyland. Shanghai. Disneyland Castle, which we rented out. It was so much fun. But I was in that CVS and I just. All of a sudden, I came too, I suppose, and I realized, oh, well, we. You take. When you turn the lights on, well, that's when the love goes away.
[43:23]
Alimony Tony
Yes. Time to scurry away like a cockroach.
[43:25]
Eleanor Lindor
And I just dove into chocolate now because chocolate became my lover.
[43:30]
Alimony Tony
You had rejected the family business.
[43:32]
Eleanor Lindor
I had rejected the family business because I didn't want to be. What is it called? An.
[43:37]
Alimony Tony
Exactly.
[43:38]
Eleanor Lindor
I didn't want it to be a Nepo baby.
[43:40]
Alimony Tony
Is that how it's pronounced.
[43:41]
Eleanor Lindor
I think so. I, I, I know. I only know it's said with disdain every time. You must say with what it was.
[43:46]
Alimony Tony
I thought it was Nepal. When I would read it, I'm like, everyone, oh, everyone, what has these nepombes?
[43:55]
Eleanor Lindor
Is that right? Like reading misled is meiseld.
[43:58]
Alimony Tony
Exactly.
[44:02]
Eleanor Lindor
I think it's better than snapper, baby. Let's hear from the stem team. What do you think?
[44:08]
Alimony Tony
STEM team?
[44:10]
Eleanor Lindor
STEM team, report for duty.
[44:11]
Alimony Tony
STEM team, sound off.
[44:13]
Eleanor Lindor
Jojo.
[44:14]
Brodgers
Shall we all say it on the count of three?
[44:16]
Scott Aukerman
What we?
[44:17]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh yeah, let's all say nepa, baby.
[44:19]
Alimony Tony
One.
[44:19]
Brodgers
Oh, so just say it that way.
[44:22]
Eleanor Lindor
I didn't mean to stay. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to make anyone leave a certain way. I'm sorry.
[44:26]
Brodgers
Women stand together. One, two, three. Sure.
[44:32]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Yeah, that was pretty close.
[44:33]
Eleanor Lindor
I did enjoy that.
[44:34]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[44:35]
Eleanor Lindor
Anyways, Yes, I did reject it. I did reject it and I, I, instead, I, I toured with a one woman show that said chips no hoy.
[44:45]
Alimony Tony
Yes, I remember the show said that. And, and you. This was your first venture into the theater.
[44:52]
Eleanor Lindor
It wasn't. It was. I was rebelling against my father because he got his start by providing the chocolate chips for Ships Ahoy. And I was like, absolutely not. I don't, I want to make my mark on my own. And so I did a 50 city tour. 49 of the cities were in Florida. And then I did Carnegie Hall.
[45:14]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[45:14]
Eleanor Lindor
Because you just have to have money. That's all you have. One night.
[45:17]
Alimony Tony
Exactly.
[45:18]
Eleanor Lindor
You can rent it out. 1.
[45:19]
Alimony Tony
And I mean practice, practice, practice. You did it. You did it 49 times. And so you were ready to debut Carnegie hall, out of town tryouts and.
[45:31]
Eleanor Lindor
You know, I would, the way I do it is just a big sets, you know, set of essays, monologues, sorts of. But I just, I pick out chocolate chips of the cookie. By the end, it's completely naked of chocolates, which is how I want it to be. And I'm naked too, at the end. I actually just put them on my body in various places. You started out, the New York Times said, a sick show. You know, sick in parentheses.
[46:03]
Brodgers
Quite moving, quite moving. To take chocolate from the cookie, put it on your body. I mean, that says a lot. Thank you.
[46:08]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes, thank you.
[46:09]
Brodgers
It really is a rebellion against your family.
[46:11]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, I love this is. She gets it. Do you know what I mean?
[46:14]
Alimony Tony
I do, yeah. Did the New York Times ever say anything about the title Chips? No. Whore.
[46:22]
Eleanor Lindor
I'll tell you because I know One, I think. I think Frank Rich said it make. Well, it makes sense to her.
[46:31]
Alimony Tony
I mean, that's very big of a reviewer to say. Well, to grant that.
[46:35]
Eleanor Lindor
I appreciate it. What'd you say, Jojo? Succession.
[46:37]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
That's so cool. The Succession guy?
[46:39]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, yes. He used to be a very fancy critic for the New York Times, but then. Yes. He got into television. Yes. As true.
[46:46]
Brodgers
So cool.
[46:48]
Alimony Tony
He's a cool guy.
[46:51]
Eleanor Lindor
See, I can't watch that show because it's my whole life. You know what I mean? Basically, that opening. Oh, I can't. My life was always just men with hands behind their back in tennis and pipes. That's all it was. And then, of course, chocolate. But then, you know, I really did make my peace with it. I think what happened is I needed money.
[47:12]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[47:12]
Eleanor Lindor
And I thought, okay, well, I'll do it.
[47:14]
Alimony Tony
Because when your father Gryffindor passed away.
[47:16]
Eleanor Lindor
He said, rest in peace.
[47:17]
Alimony Tony
Not a dime. Rest in peace, Elinor. Unless she embraces the family business.
[47:22]
Eleanor Lindor
That's what he said. Unless it was. I believe it was in the actual estate. It was Three Quarters of a dime because he just had to really stick it to me. I was like, what can I do with that? Unless it's the title for my next Wonder Woman show, Three Quarters of a Dime. No, it'd be Three Quarters of a Dime. That's what it would be. Oh, my goodness.
[47:42]
Jin Boo
Be a part of the process.
[47:43]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, j. I would. I would. I would love you to. I love your teeth, by the way.
[47:47]
Alimony Tony
Thank you.
[47:48]
Jin Boo
They're longer than most.
[47:50]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, that's amazing. That's very good for eating chocolate.
[47:53]
Jin Boo
Oh, yeah.
[47:53]
Alimony Tony
You're need long chocolate.
[47:56]
Eleanor Lindor
You don't need to call me that, but thank you.
[47:58]
Jin Boo
Okay.
[47:58]
Scott Aukerman
Are you sure?
[47:59]
Jin Boo
Because you are incredible.
[48:00]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, my goodness. I'm just a woman.
[48:02]
Jin Boo
I just. I just want to ask you. I. Ever since you said the thing about Cunningus, my mind has just been kind of stuck there.
[48:09]
Brodgers
Sure.
[48:10]
Alimony Tony
I'm sure it has for a lot of the listeners.
[48:13]
Jin Boo
Yeah. It was so unexpected, but I still.
[48:15]
Eleanor Lindor
It really was. I didn't know I was saying just sort of came out.
[48:20]
Jin Boo
It made me do a bit of a life review.
[48:24]
Brodgers
Interesting.
[48:25]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[48:26]
Jin Boo
I just feel as though my husband, Courtney, he is not big into it. And I said, okay, is that something you just should accept or is that something you should. Excuse me.
[48:37]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Death penalty.
[48:42]
Jin Boo
And I think that's a women in stam.
[48:44]
Eleanor Lindor
I am.
[48:49]
Brodgers
Are you giving to him? I mean, I don't mean to step in as a therapist now. I have so many talents, but I just.
[48:54]
Eleanor Lindor
So many hats.
[48:55]
Brodgers
I, I.
[48:56]
Eleanor Lindor
She keeps switching hats. I love your therapist. Thank you. That's not what I was expecting.
[49:00]
Brodgers
Thank you.
[49:01]
Eleanor Lindor
I know it's a crown, a paper.
[49:03]
Brodgers
Boy hat, and, But I just thought.
[49:04]
Alimony Tony
It's a crown. Paper boy.
[49:05]
Brodgers
Yeah. But I just thought, you know, the therapist in me, she's. She's whimsical, she's daring. You know what I mean? And this is the hat that I chose. But back to you, I just want to know, so are you giving and not receiving? Is that what's happening here with your husband?
[49:23]
Alimony Tony
Fellatio?
[49:23]
Jin Boo
Giving.
[49:24]
Alimony Tony
Talk about fellatio.
[49:25]
Eleanor Lindor
Of course.
[49:26]
Scott Aukerman
I'll always.
[49:26]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Throat.
[49:29]
Alimony Tony
What are you giving?
[49:30]
Jin Boo
Throat.
[49:31]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I was just helping.
[49:31]
Alimony Tony
Oh, throat.
[49:32]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, I thought you called her bro. Thank you.
[49:34]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I was depressed.
[49:37]
Eleanor Lindor
Throat. Is that what the children call it these days? They just say throat.
[49:41]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
In my relationship, we call it giving throat.
[49:46]
Alimony Tony
Jojo, who are you with these days?
[49:48]
Brodgers
Yes. I'm so happy to hear that Jojo has a significant other.
[49:52]
Eleanor Lindor
Yeah.
[49:52]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I'm in love.
[49:54]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, congratulations. This is amazing.
[49:56]
Alimony Tony
That's wonderful. Thanks. That's wonderful. What's his name?
[50:00]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Adam.
[50:00]
Alimony Tony
Adam.
[50:02]
Eleanor Lindor
Sweet love. Oh, I wish.
[50:06]
Jin Boo
Okay. Because that's always where my mom goes.
[50:09]
Alimony Tony
When you hear the name out of you, go right to Karola.
[50:11]
Jin Boo
I say, man, show, you know, I.
[50:13]
Alimony Tony
I go right to the Bible.
[50:16]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, the very beginning.
[50:17]
Jin Boo
Very pious.
[50:18]
Alimony Tony
And here's the thing. Not only do I write to the Bible, but I also go to, I take at the same time two destinations, the Bible and the Chronicles of Nadia. Because Mr. Tumnus would address a boy as a son of Adam and a girl as a daughter of Eve.
[50:33]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, yes. Because it's really just an allegory for Jesus Christ, right?
[50:36]
Alimony Tony
Yes. Aslad the lion who dies and comes back to life.
[50:41]
Brodgers
And do you blame Adam or Eve for the apple?
[50:44]
Eleanor Lindor
Because, oh, boy, here we go.
[50:46]
Brodgers
I mean, sure, she bit it, but do you ever think that maybe Adam convinced her to. Lied to her, told her to bite the apple, Failed.
[51:01]
Eleanor Lindor
Well, you know, it's interesting you say this, because this is one of the main reasons that I walked out of my father. Because I lived with him until I was 43.
[51:07]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[51:07]
Eleanor Lindor
And he. Because he wanted to start. There was one year that he decided he wanted. He didn't think that chocolate appealed to men enough. You know what I mean?
[51:16]
Alimony Tony
Chocolate all the time.
[51:17]
Eleanor Lindor
He came up with a chocolate rib, and I just said, oh, that's in poor taste, Father. Well, no, it's already demeaning to say that we were born from a rib. They Were made from a rib. And what were you going to say? I'm sorry. Can I call you Tony?
[51:31]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[51:31]
Jin Boo
Okay.
[51:31]
Alimony Tony
He went for barbecue sauce on the chocolate rib. And it was.
[51:34]
Eleanor Lindor
He wanted to put barbecue sauce on the chocolate rib. It was a cross promotion of sorts.
[51:38]
Alimony Tony
The one Thanksgiving that we went there, that's what he served.
[51:42]
Eleanor Lindor
I remember that exclusively. Oh, God, it made me sick.
[51:45]
Alimony Tony
It was disgusting.
[51:46]
Eleanor Lindor
It was disgusting.
[51:47]
Alimony Tony
And we were stopped. We arrived hungry.
[51:49]
Eleanor Lindor
We always arrived hungry. We never prepared. We never ate ahead.
[51:52]
Alimony Tony
Oh, we just coming out of a stupor.
[51:53]
Eleanor Lindor
We were always coming out of a stupor from some fabulous party.
[51:56]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[51:56]
Eleanor Lindor
Do you remember when we. Do you remember when we rented out. We rented out a plane, but it was already full of people.
[52:07]
Alimony Tony
Yes.
[52:08]
Eleanor Lindor
And in the middle we said surprise.
[52:11]
Alimony Tony
You know, ignited Flight 70.
[52:15]
Eleanor Lindor
Then it was a good thing, you know, but it was. People were scared at first, but it was. We were there to Just to party.
[52:22]
Alimony Tony
Said, this is a hijack. And then. And we. We wanted to. We wanted to, like, have a pause and then say a fun hijack. But when we said, this is a hijack, everyone started screaming.
[52:32]
Eleanor Lindor
We didn't think it through at all.
[52:34]
Alimony Tony
Think it through.
[52:34]
Eleanor Lindor
We didn't think.
[52:35]
Alimony Tony
We were drunk.
[52:35]
Eleanor Lindor
We were drunk. And everyone did. I still talk to some of those people.
[52:39]
Alimony Tony
Do you?
[52:39]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes, I'm still in touch with them. One of the. I'm. Someone's the baby on board. I'm her godmother.
[52:44]
Alimony Tony
I. I'm still in touch with some of them via the court system.
[52:49]
Eleanor Lindor
That sounds about right.
[52:50]
Alimony Tony
Yes. And okay, now it's time for. Did we have a hanging thread?
[52:55]
Eleanor Lindor
I feel like, oh, well, we didn't get to answer the question about gin in the throat.
[52:59]
Alimony Tony
Gin in the throat.
[53:00]
Eleanor Lindor
Hanging the throat.
[53:01]
Jin Boo
I do.
[53:03]
Eleanor Lindor
I do. Well, then that's doubly frustrating for you, of course, because you are. Rogers asked you if you were giving and not receiving, and that's what's happening.
[53:11]
Jin Boo
And Courtney always says, well, why do you always bring it back on me? Why don't you focus on what you're doing? Honestly, I am doing throat.
[53:18]
Eleanor Lindor
Well, can I ask, how does that work? Work with the teeth? Because you said they're longer than most.
[53:21]
Jin Boo
It's not easy. Okay. Unhing. Oh, my God. I have to unlock it to get in there.
[53:27]
Brodgers
So you're putting in a lot of work.
[53:29]
Jin Boo
That's what I mean. I just like to be treated one day.
[53:33]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
You deserve that.
[53:34]
Alimony Tony
You deserve it.
[53:34]
Brodgers
Thank you.
[53:35]
Alimony Tony
You deserve it. Women. It's dead.
[53:37]
Eleanor Lindor
And I would add an adjective. Go further. Treated well, treated deeply.
[53:41]
Brodgers
Is there a way that you could set her up with that chef? That chocolate chef?
[53:45]
Eleanor Lindor
That's not a bad idea. Barry.
[53:48]
Alimony Tony
I mean, he'd be the guy I.
[53:49]
Eleanor Lindor
I can set you up with. Barry?
[53:50]
Alimony Tony
His name is Barry?
[53:51]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes.
[53:52]
Alimony Tony
I assumed it was like Henri or something.
[53:53]
Eleanor Lindor
It doesn't matter. His tongue is named Henri.
[53:56]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Let's get you tongue.
[53:59]
Brodgers
Well, her and Henri would love to meet.
[54:02]
Alimony Tony
Helena. You're a filthy delight.
[54:08]
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[54:39]
Alimony Tony
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[55:37]
Alimony Tony
All right, it's question time. Everybody's ready.
[55:40]
Brodgers
Question time. Question time. There's questions from Tony and Roger.
[55:48]
Jin Boo
Your voice is from heaven.
[55:50]
Eleanor Lindor
It really is. Again, another hat. I have to say. Oh, another hat.
[55:54]
Alimony Tony
Rogers, why didn't you sing when we were together? I never heard you sing a note.
[55:58]
Brodgers
You know, I was mostly just. I mean, I was always listening to music. You know, my favorite artists were always on the headphones. But it didn't feel like you were interested in the same type of music I was listening to. You know, I was into like. Like Jason Derulo and. And different artists like Jason Derulo.
[56:21]
Alimony Tony
It's impossible not to do it.
[56:22]
Brodgers
It's.
[56:22]
Alimony Tony
Yes, but I hear his name.
[56:24]
Eleanor Lindor
Absolutely. He should sing his Name the way you sing it. I like it. It sounds like it's for a commercial for a lady's deodorant.
[56:30]
Alimony Tony
It did.
[56:31]
Eleanor Lindor
It did sound a little grotto heavy.
[56:34]
Alimony Tony
A little. I'm loving it. Which was not my intention.
[56:39]
Eleanor Lindor
Still, I'd buy what you're selling.
[56:42]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Jason Derulo.
[56:44]
Brodgers
Derulo.
[56:47]
Alimony Tony
Yes. You love Jason Derulo. And I, of course, I had my collection of national anthems from around the world.
[56:53]
Brodgers
You wouldn't stop with the national anthems. What was your favorite one? Brazil.
[57:00]
Alimony Tony
It's gotta be Brazil.
[57:01]
Brodgers
And sing a little bit of the Brazil. The Brazil Brazilian one.
[57:05]
Alimony Tony
I mean, I can't pronounce the pork. The.
[57:07]
Eleanor Lindor
The pork and cheese.
[57:08]
Alimony Tony
I can't pronounce the pork and cheese, so I have to do it in English. Brazil this is the country that we long to slave Brazil Everybody's gotta go all the way to the their way to heaven we love you, Brazil Put your head on your heart it's time to say Brazil.
[57:37]
Eleanor Lindor
Brazil. Oh, that was amazing. Had a real 1950s cowboy TV show feel to.
[57:47]
Alimony Tony
Do you remember on TV on TV where they were watching a TV show, they used to do this all the time, that if you just saw the TV set in the living room and then they were always watching a cowboy movie and you would hear just one.
[57:58]
Eleanor Lindor
Whoops and gunshots or like.
[58:01]
Alimony Tony
Yeah, always.
[58:02]
Eleanor Lindor
Always a horn. A random bugle in the background. I think you remember that.
[58:08]
Alimony Tony
Question time. Oh, what planet would you not like to go to? Jojo, you're up.
[58:15]
Eleanor Lindor
Well, I'm going to stick with my.
[58:16]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Original, which I believe was Neptune.
[58:19]
Alimony Tony
Okay. Wanted to check.
[58:20]
Eleanor Lindor
Yeah.
[58:20]
Alimony Tony
And what is it about Neptune again that you don't like?
[58:24]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Seems like pervert.
[58:25]
Alimony Tony
Seems like pervert.
[58:28]
Brodgers
I can see that. I can see that.
[58:29]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Thank you. Validating.
[58:31]
Alimony Tony
I can see why it seems like. Perfect. Jin, which planet would you most not like to go to?
[58:39]
Jin Boo
I would go to every single one of them, but I would not want to be caught in the Milky Way.
[58:45]
Alimony Tony
Oh, that's going to be a problem because that is where we are right now.
[58:50]
Jin Boo
I would.
[58:51]
Alimony Tony
Yes. Our solar system is in the Milky Way galaxy.
[58:54]
Jin Boo
Oh, crap. Ola.
[58:56]
Alimony Tony
Shoot.
[58:58]
Jin Boo
Come back to me, will you?
[58:59]
Alimony Tony
Okay. All right. We'll come back to you.
[59:01]
Brodgers
Tony, you've always had a mind that just. Oh, my God. The things, you know, like the Milky Way and the average Joe doesn't know.
[59:09]
Alimony Tony
I have a real head for trivia and bronzes. That brings us to you. What planet is out of bounds?
[59:15]
Brodgers
Ah, this is a hard question, because I know the planets. I do Want to go to.
[59:19]
Alimony Tony
I prayed I would never have to ask any of my ex wives this question.
[59:23]
Brodgers
And I prayed I would never be asked. But here we are. And so I think my answer may be Mercury. Just because it's the smallest. And I have big dreams.
[59:33]
Jin Boo
Whoa.
[59:34]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Put that on a pillow yesterday.
[59:36]
Brodgers
Another business I may start.
[59:38]
Alimony Tony
A pillow business like Craig from Southern Charm.
[59:41]
Brodgers
I haven't seen.
[59:42]
Jin Boo
Whoa.
[59:42]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes.
[59:43]
Alimony Tony
You haven't seen Southern Charm?
[59:45]
Brodgers
Haven't seen.
[59:45]
Alimony Tony
It's a terrific show.
[59:47]
Brodgers
I don't have tv.
[59:48]
Alimony Tony
You know, Sewing Down South. It's right there on King Street. Southern Charm is this wonderful show. It's about a bunch of people who have no jobs.
[59:56]
Brodgers
Charming.
[59:57]
Alimony Tony
One of them did start a business. They are all horrible, but in a really boring way.
[60:01]
Brodgers
I wonder.
[60:02]
Alimony Tony
It could not be more boring.
[60:03]
Brodgers
I wonder if any of the men on that show have issues with their sperm motility.
[60:08]
Jin Boo
Shep.
[60:09]
Alimony Tony
Ooh, you think Shep does? I bet he does.
[60:11]
Brodgers
If they have no job, I bet.
[60:12]
Alimony Tony
Shep is shooting blanks.
[60:13]
Brodgers
Oh, yeah, the connection is there.
[60:16]
Alimony Tony
I bet Austin's gonna get someone pregnant.
[60:17]
Jin Boo
I do think so. If he hasn't already. Already?
[60:20]
Alimony Tony
I know he's probably paid for a few make or go aways.
[60:22]
Eleanor Lindor
Okay, I have to watch this show.
[60:26]
Alimony Tony
Really? You simply must. Elevator. It's the best television.
[60:30]
Eleanor Lindor
I can hear their pastel shirts when you talk about them.
[60:33]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Nine seasons of the worst people you could ever imagine.
[60:35]
Alimony Tony
That's right. And what's funny is they can't hold on to cast members, but everyone they bring in sucks. It's amazing.
[60:42]
Jin Boo
What do you think about Paige?
[60:45]
Alimony Tony
Which one is that again?
[60:46]
Jin Boo
That's Craig's girlfriend in Summerhouse.
[60:48]
Alimony Tony
I love Paige. Paige and Craig. I'm rooting for them.
[60:50]
Jin Boo
Okay.
[60:51]
Alimony Tony
I'm rooting for them.
[60:52]
Brodgers
Oh, Paige from Winter or summer House?
[60:55]
Scott Aukerman
Both.
[60:55]
Alimony Tony
Both. Wait, was she on Summerhouse?
[60:57]
Brodgers
That's where she originated.
[60:58]
Alimony Tony
The only one I watch is Southern Charm. I assumed she was a normal person who somehow got dragged onto the show.
[61:04]
Eleanor Lindor
I know.
[61:05]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
She's on three Bravo shows simultaneously.
[61:07]
Alimony Tony
Oh, no. I gotta get Bravo Con. Why am I putting it off?
[61:10]
Brodgers
Did you assume she was normal because she didn't have the Southern accent? Is that what you say?
[61:16]
Alimony Tony
Well, no, they don't really. The accents are not very pronounced on Southern Charm. Except for the one, Madison Lacroix, with.
[61:24]
Jin Boo
The most boring husband I ever seen.
[61:27]
Eleanor Lindor
Boy, I have to for that show.
[61:28]
Alimony Tony
It's saying something.
[61:29]
Eleanor Lindor
I feel so out of place at a watch. React. Doesn't anyone curl up with a hot water bottle watch Manchurian Candidate anymore?
[61:37]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
You're shivering.
[61:38]
Eleanor Lindor
I know. I'm so cold because I don't have the knowledge of reality television. And I feel I'm so alone on this mountaintop of old movies.
[61:47]
Alimony Tony
Your favorite movie.
[61:48]
Eleanor Lindor
Please help me.
[61:49]
Alimony Tony
Your favorite movie is both versions of the Maturity Gang.
[61:51]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, yes. But there's nothing like Angela Lansbury. Oh, Murder She Did.
[61:55]
Alimony Tony
Three years younger than Laura Tarvey playing his mother.
[61:57]
Eleanor Lindor
She's not. She's no sweet Jessica Fletcher. She's a stone cold bitch. Don't you forget it. Bedknobs and broom dicks. Whoa, that one didn't. I said she's the dick. And it doesn't matter. I was just trying to do some wordplay. And you did.
[62:15]
Alimony Tony
That was fun. You're a fun lady.
[62:17]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, thank you so much.
[62:17]
Alimony Tony
You're a loose cat.
[62:18]
Eleanor Lindor
But I've really got to watch that show. I really have to. I want to be a part of the family.
[62:23]
Alimony Tony
Eleanor?
[62:24]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes?
[62:25]
Alimony Tony
It's planet time. Which. What are you not going?
[62:27]
Eleanor Lindor
Well, I'd like to applaud us all for avoiding the very low hanging fruit of St. Uranus.
[62:31]
Alimony Tony
There it is.
[62:34]
Eleanor Lindor
I really want to do it. Now, I know that it was demoted, but I'm gonna say exactly because it was demoted, Pluto, because it's the poorest.
[62:43]
Alimony Tony
Really poorest.
[62:45]
Eleanor Lindor
Immediately when it was demoted became poor to me. And I was very interested in it back in the day, I really was.
[62:50]
Alimony Tony
Now I have to ask, what do you think is the richest planet?
[62:52]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, it's definitely sadder because of all the rings.
[62:56]
Alimony Tony
How does she do it? How does she do it? Now it seems only fair to ask, which planet would you most like to go to?
[63:05]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, Earth.
[63:08]
Alimony Tony
I feel like I have good news for you.
[63:12]
Eleanor Lindor
But you know what I mean? Really? Really.
[63:13]
Alimony Tony
And maybe bad news for you, Jen.
[63:15]
Eleanor Lindor
Okay, I'm so lost. Really dig in the soil real. Get my hands dirty. You know, I've been in the clouds. I've been outside looking down and I really do want to. I want to. To ground myself more. That's all. I mean, it's sort of a figurative thing. I know I'm on Earth, Tony. Don't worry.
[63:33]
Alimony Tony
There were three years that you lived in a zeppelin.
[63:35]
Eleanor Lindor
There were three years I lived in a zeppelin. That is true. And. And boy, that was the one time that I was very famous because people actually, they came to became a national sensation because I only circled around in elementary school. And it was, it was. And it blocked. I blocked out the stuff. Sun for a whole year for a whole year for these children.
[63:56]
Alimony Tony
And you had to Keep. Keep moving.
[63:57]
Eleanor Lindor
They're called. They're called the Zeppo Babies.
[63:59]
Alimony Tony
Zippo babies. Zababa Bees. I thought.
[64:02]
Eleanor Lindor
I'm sorry. Zapaba Bees. My. My mistake.
[64:05]
Alimony Tony
And the kids. But the kids were thrilled, because kids love a blimp.
[64:08]
Eleanor Lindor
They do. They love. They love a blip. And. And so, yes, I mean, that was an adventure, you know, But I was up there all alone.
[64:16]
Brodgers
It must have been health consequences. No, for the children that didn't see sun for a year.
[64:20]
Alimony Tony
Well, they didn't live at the school.
[64:21]
Brodgers
Okay. But most of their days were spent at school. But they're not getting sun.
[64:26]
Alimony Tony
It's true. But it was. But how much sun do you get at school?
[64:31]
Eleanor Lindor
They were a heavy AV club school anyway, so it didn't quite matter. They were outcasts anyhow. Or maybe I don't know which came first, the outcast or the zeppelin? It's unsure.
[64:41]
Brodgers
Excuse me for being concerned about the children. As you know, I'm a mother to Dani now, so it's all I think about.
[64:46]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, you have a child. Oh, congratulations.
[64:48]
Brodgers
A sort of a mentee, if you will.
[64:50]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, all right.
[64:50]
Alimony Tony
J. Any kids? Oh, yeah. You have the twins, of course.
[64:54]
Eleanor Lindor
I've met Braxton and J. Jaylen, the unofficial godfather.
[64:57]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And Jojo, hoping to be pregnant.
[65:01]
Eleanor Lindor
Really?
[65:01]
Alimony Tony
Are. Are. Are you actively trying.
[65:03]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes.
[65:04]
Alimony Tony
Okay. You and Adam.
[65:05]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Yes.
[65:06]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, good for you.
[65:07]
Brodgers
Her love.
[65:08]
Alimony Tony
AR. This is a very saucy episode.
[65:13]
Eleanor Lindor
Well, it's Valentine's Day, you know.
[65:15]
Alimony Tony
Of course it is.
[65:16]
Eleanor Lindor
It's when you can get sexy.
[65:18]
Alimony Tony
That's right. People probably listening to this. Following a rose petal trail to a.
[65:23]
Eleanor Lindor
Candlelit bathtub, where they will experience a dark chocolate truffle from Lindor. Escape into your memory of your dreams and forget that they didn't work out. Lindor.
[65:37]
Jin Boo
Oh, my God.
[65:39]
Alimony Tony
Logan takes Predator.
[65:41]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Starving. After that.
[65:43]
Alimony Tony
Rogers, what planet would you most like to go to?
[65:47]
Brodgers
You know, I think my answer has changed since starting this little podcast that we're doing here, and I think I'm gonna say Venus, because I am feeling the energy of these.
[65:57]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[65:58]
Eleanor Lindor
She's got it. Yeah, baby, she's got it.
[66:00]
Brodgers
And dare I say, since it's a saucy episode, I am being tickled underneath.
[66:05]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh.
[66:08]
Alimony Tony
Was that a reference to something?
[66:09]
Brodgers
Well, no, you just said it was saucy. Everyone's been making. Oh, I'm sorry, Tony. Everyone's been making. We're talking about throats and raw doggy.
[66:18]
Eleanor Lindor
I think this in gem situation, or he wasn't sure underneath, was a euphemism. Was really happening right now.
[66:24]
Brodgers
Well, it could be happening right now, Judge now.
[66:28]
Eleanor Lindor
Nobody's judging you, project.
[66:30]
Alimony Tony
Nobody's judging you. How many touch of you do not dare.
[66:33]
Brodgers
The tickling has stopped. You must know.
[66:35]
Alimony Tony
Okay, thank you. Thank you for the update.
[66:37]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I just want you to know you could trump style, shoot someone in the street, and I would still support you.
[66:41]
Scott Aukerman
Whoa.
[66:43]
Eleanor Lindor
That is truly idolizing you.
[66:46]
Jin Boo
Wow.
[66:47]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
All of you gals, oh, it's so sweet.
[66:50]
Alimony Tony
I mean, it's quite a collection of remarkable women right here.
[66:52]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, thank you, Tony. Well, I'll have you in common, because you know how to pick them.
[66:58]
Jin Boo
You know, Tony, I would love to spend some time in the multiverse thinking.
[67:03]
Alimony Tony
Outside the box and our own universe. Yes.
[67:06]
Brodgers
She never picks a planet. Really. She never really answers the question. It's just so clever, you know?
[67:10]
Alimony Tony
I mean, it makes sense. She despises the Milky Way and is there a place. What do you picture as the multiverse? Where would you go?
[67:18]
Jin Boo
Well, it's not even so much where I would go, but I just like things in fractals. I'd love to meet the pig version of myself. Myself.
[67:25]
Alimony Tony
Oh, wow.
[67:26]
Brodgers
Neat.
[67:27]
Eleanor Lindor
Why, that would be amazing.
[67:29]
Alimony Tony
I mean, in a multiverse, that stands to reason there would be a pig version of Earth, where everybody's a pig. What are pigs in this pig planet?
[67:36]
Jin Boo
Excuse me?
[67:36]
Alimony Tony
What are pigs in this big planet?
[67:38]
Jin Boo
Presidents.
[67:40]
Eleanor Lindor
Every single one of them. That's amazing.
[67:43]
Alimony Tony
That's all the pigs do.
[67:44]
Jin Boo
That's it. And that and the year the pig is now.
[67:48]
Brodgers
All right.
[67:49]
Alimony Tony
Wow. Wow. Good news for pigs. And we come down to Jojo.
[67:57]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Son, Son.
[67:58]
Alimony Tony
You say go. Who cares about the planets? Take me right to that star right.
[68:02]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
In the middle of it all. Times Square of the universe.
[68:08]
Brodgers
She's so daring.
[68:10]
Alimony Tony
It's true. Now, in this scenario, are you picturing that you have a special sort of capsule that you could travel to the sun?
[68:17]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
M and M store on the sun.
[68:21]
Alimony Tony
That you would start or you would visit own. You would own the first ever think.
[68:26]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
About a woman owning an M and M store on the sun.
[68:29]
Alimony Tony
I think about it right now.
[68:30]
Eleanor Lindor
This is a chocolate related question. How to keep it from melting.
[68:34]
Alimony Tony
Okay, so let's Review M&M's. What we know about them. They melt in your mouth. They do not melt in your hands. Oh, they did not cover the sun.
[68:42]
Eleanor Lindor
They did not cover the the sun.
[68:43]
Alimony Tony
Keep it in your hand to shield it from the sun.
[68:47]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
It's in your hands and thank you for the help. That is how I will keep it from melting.
[68:54]
Alimony Tony
Oh, it's wonderful to think about to eat Ms. All of a sudden. Would you get to eat them or not?
[69:01]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Well, I'd probably be busy holding them for my business.
[69:03]
Eleanor Lindor
But every now and then I'd sneak pen.
[69:06]
Alimony Tony
How could you help? How could you resist?
[69:08]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Who can resist? And I'd share with all of you if you came to visit me on the sun. Oh please.
[69:15]
Alimony Tony
Now I have another question to ask.
[69:18]
Brodgers
Question?
[69:18]
Alimony Tony
I am going to double the amount of alimony for one person in this room. Oh my God. Tell me what you would use the money to do. It will start with Rogers.
[69:37]
Brodgers
Oh, well, I just have to say I am so moved that you are offering this to us. Is this sort of a competition by what we say we're going to use the money for? That's how you determine who gives the money.
[69:50]
Alimony Tony
I have said all I can say.
[69:54]
Brodgers
I am sweating, I am nervous. I think that I would. This past hour, what I've really learned about myself is that I am a teacher. And so I think I would use that money to start a school, the Brodgers School. Make it official where they would get sun because they would go outside. Or I would teach them about finance at School for Girls.
[70:14]
Alimony Tony
To be clear.
[70:15]
Brodgers
I would teach them about finances, about voiceover work in the chocolate industry, about.
[70:21]
Alimony Tony
You would teach them about that?
[70:22]
Brodgers
Absolutely. She said I'm a natural.
[70:24]
Alimony Tony
Oh, that's true. I forgot about that part.
[70:26]
Brodgers
How could you forget?
[70:28]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I didn't.
[70:29]
Brodgers
You know about deep throating and not feeling shame and about gin. All the things. Yes, of course. There's so much to her. You know what I mean?
[70:43]
Alimony Tony
So there's a lot of ideas, fields of study and then this one person.
[70:47]
Brodgers
Yes, yes. Because she is her own field of study. Like did you see when you asked her the question what planet did you want to go to? What planet did you. She didn't even answer your question. She said something else she didn't even say because she is her own. She's her own, her own class. An entire class could be devoted to her.
[71:03]
Alimony Tony
Interesting.
[71:04]
Jin Boo
And you know what that class is called?
[71:06]
Eleanor Lindor
Adhd.
[71:07]
Brodgers
Adhd.
[71:08]
Jin Boo
Adhd.
[71:10]
Brodgers
Sign me up.
[71:13]
Alimony Tony
Now, Jen, what would you use the money for?
[71:16]
Jin Boo
Well, unlike my friend here, I am not a self starter. And so I would say I would like to donate that money to a great cause. And it's a real one. It's called Homeless not toothless. Homeless not toothless. And look it up. Well, I'll get one of my kids to help you out looking on the computer. But it is an actual organization that gives homeless Folks teeth. And I just think that's so.
[71:45]
Alimony Tony
I think that's wonderful. Absolutely.
[71:47]
Jin Boo
So that's me, Jojo.
[71:50]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Well, I think I would enlist a team of scientists to figure out how to get me McDonald's Diet Coke that never gets empty and the ice is always full. And after that, that'll probably use up a lot of the alimony. But then I would give money to Jen to get a plane ticket so she can get tongue for Monry the chocolatier, because he will not leave France. Why would he come here?
[72:19]
Alimony Tony
Exactly.
[72:20]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Nasty.
[72:20]
Jin Boo
You would do that?
[72:22]
Eleanor Lindor
I would.
[72:22]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And then I would give Brogers money so she doesn't have to buy the bagels for the lunch.
[72:27]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, my goodness.
[72:28]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
And I wouldn't give, I wouldn't give you money just because you're so rich, but I would take you out to lunch and I would foot the bill. Oh, and we could get like a clam or whatever kind of fancy sort of stuff that you like to eat. A clam that you like the smell that you like the smell of in the.
[72:45]
Eleanor Lindor
I love getting a fresh plate of clams.
[72:49]
Jin Boo
Clam.
[72:50]
Alimony Tony
Half clam. I love a half clab.
[72:53]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Oh, and earrings.
[73:02]
Alimony Tony
And now Elor comes to you. What would you do with them now? Of course, you're wealthy beyond comparison.
[73:06]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes. As JoJo said, Tony, I don't need any money.
[73:09]
Alimony Tony
That's right.
[73:09]
Eleanor Lindor
You know, of course. And when, of course, I, I would be tempted just sort of, I don't know, throw it, throw it my way for some silly trifling thing. But, you know, after I've talked to these ladies, especially hearing Shinsa opening up about her story and her situation, I would like to open an institution. And this is going to be for helping anybody who would learn, would want to learn how to treat a person in the way that Barry does. And I would call it the, the, the, the Lindor Kanner Learning and Lingus Center.
[73:40]
Opendoor Announcer
Wow.
[73:41]
Eleanor Lindor
And it will be underwritten by me. And there will be beautiful statues of every single one of you, especially you at the front.
[73:50]
Alimony Tony
Oh, come on now.
[73:51]
Brodgers
Yes.
[73:52]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
What material?
[73:53]
Eleanor Lindor
What material?
[73:54]
Alimony Tony
Great question.
[73:55]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, a marble fountain, for sure. No doubt about it.
[73:58]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Me?
[73:59]
Eleanor Lindor
None. Can I ask you love marble.
[74:01]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
I love marble.
[74:02]
Eleanor Lindor
Just gets you going.
[74:03]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Texture, smell.
[74:04]
Eleanor Lindor
I hear you. Temperature those veins.
[74:06]
Alimony Tony
JoJo loves the smell of marble.
[74:08]
Brodgers
And I remember.
[74:10]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, it's an aphrodisiac, to be sure.
[74:13]
Jin Boo
Much like this podcast.
[74:14]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, indeed.
[74:17]
Alimony Tony
Alanor. Let me ask you. I, I, I have a handle of what Cunningus is, and I think you know that. Now I'm being Saucy. What do you classify as kind of learning?
[74:33]
Eleanor Lindor
I think it's exactly what it says. I mean, you need to start from the basics. You need to start from the gra. Bottom up, as it will.
[74:40]
Alimony Tony
All right, now, I had a feeling you were going to answer that.
[74:42]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, oh, okay. That I was going to answer it. Of course I was going to answer it. You asked me, why wouldn't I answer it?
[74:47]
Alimony Tony
Then I had a second feeling you're going to answer the way that you did.
[74:49]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, well, I guess you. You've got me.
[74:51]
Alimony Tony
Now I have to ask if kind of learning is learning how to give cunningus. What is cunnilingus in your syllabus?
[75:00]
Eleanor Lindor
Okay, well, here's the thing which you don't understand is I'm breaking it up into three parts. There's cunning, there's learning, and if you don't do the other one, you don't get to lingus.
[75:10]
Alimony Tony
Oh, I see.
[75:10]
Jin Boo
Oh, you're tough.
[75:12]
Alimony Tony
You are.
[75:12]
Eleanor Lindor
Thank you.
[75:15]
Alimony Tony
So it's broken down into cunning, learning.
[75:18]
Eleanor Lindor
And lingus, and you go and you live there for five months, and the zeppelin's over it. You do not see light.
[75:26]
Alimony Tony
Where is his zeppelin?
[75:27]
Eleanor Lindor
You don't see light because you have to be comfortable in the dark. First, number one.
[75:31]
Alimony Tony
Now, when you were in that zeppelin, you did. It did cause you to have zeppelin ear, which is a feeling that your head is much higher than it actually is.
[75:39]
Eleanor Lindor
I can't wear hats.
[75:40]
Alimony Tony
You can't, because you can't reach where you think you're at.
[75:43]
Eleanor Lindor
It's just confusing.
[75:45]
Brodgers
I think this is so important. I'm actually going to take the money that I was going to use to start my school, and I'm gonna donate it.
[75:51]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, my goodness. We have our first donor. Oh, this is incredible.
[75:53]
Brodgers
And I would like to donate my time as a professor as well.
[75:56]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, of course.
[75:57]
Alimony Tony
Now you're a professor.
[75:58]
Eleanor Lindor
Wait a minute. Did you.
[75:59]
Alimony Tony
Do you have tenure already?
[76:01]
Brodgers
How long is this podcast? Feels good.
[76:03]
Eleanor Lindor
She did an online course, perhaps.
[76:05]
Alimony Tony
All right, well, I have my answers and I've done my computations. And the winner, of course, must be Jed, because she mentioned a real charity.
[76:20]
Eleanor Lindor
Well done.
[76:20]
Alimony Tony
So good luck. Homeless, not toothless. You are getting a substantial amount of money.
[76:27]
Jin Boo
Dang. Well, I'd love to just, you know, break off a little piece of that and buy a facility for kind of learning. And I do believe there's a math nasium by my house that is closing down, so we can really rehab this.
[76:40]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, that's perfect.
[76:41]
Alimony Tony
Maybe you.
[76:41]
Jin Boo
Tony.
[76:42]
Alimony Tony
It's okay. With me. I think that just. I pray you're very careful with your signage, because I think that a lot of parents may be still confused and you never. They don't change listings online that often, so just be on the very safest side.
[76:55]
Brodgers
Is it a school just for children? Is it not for adults? No, no, no, no.
[77:00]
Opendoor Announcer
The.
[77:01]
Brodgers
The kind of learning lingus.
[77:03]
Alimony Tony
I assumed it was for adults.
[77:05]
Eleanor Lindor
It's definitely for adults.
[77:06]
Alimony Tony
Okay, that's good. That's good to hear. It's good. You know what? It's good to have that spelled out. I think it's in case anyone was confused.
[77:13]
Eleanor Lindor
Maybe we should have spelled that before this podcast.
[77:15]
Alimony Tony
Oh, well.
[77:16]
Eleanor Lindor
Too late, kids.
[77:17]
Alimony Tony
What a filthy hour this has been.
[77:21]
Eleanor Lindor
But Santa Claus is real.
[77:22]
Alimony Tony
Well, all right. Referring to some people that we know that got in trouble on a podcast for saying that Santa Claus wasn't real. And somebody wrote in and said, thanks a lot. I was listening to this with my kids, which I think says something about that person's parenting. So I want to thank you, Jojo, thank you so much for. For appearing on this episode. It was a pleasure to see you again. Is there anything that you would like to. To tell people about? Anything you want people to. You know what? Is there any advice you as. As somebody who is. Who is divorced and now has a. Has a flourishing relationship, any advice you'd like to give.
[78:01]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Red Thong, Red Dog.
[78:05]
Alimony Tony
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Jen, same question. Any advice?
[78:11]
Jin Boo
Unlock the jaw for yourself.
[78:14]
Brodgers
Wow.
[78:14]
Josephine Tooth Fontaine (Jojo)
Whoa.
[78:16]
Alimony Tony
Powerful, powerful.
[78:17]
Brodgers
I'm writing the staff.
[78:19]
Alimony Tony
Well, don't. Don't be writing right now, because now you have to answer the question. Proctors, some advice you'd like to give to someone from your perspective as someone who has been divorced but is now a success in life. Either, you know, I mean, this is cutting into your school time, but advice on just life in general, if you want.
[78:42]
Brodgers
As a divorcee, as a mother, as a professor, I think the life advice that I would give is, know yourself. Be that and then be better.
[78:52]
Alimony Tony
Oh, wow. That's incredible. I got. I got a shiver.
[78:57]
Brodgers
Oh, I love to give shivers.
[78:59]
Alimony Tony
Love it, love it, love it. Maybe it's a contact menopause from element.
[79:02]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, boy.
[79:02]
Brodgers
Oh, no.
[79:04]
Eleanor Lindor
Crossing genders now. I'm so sorry.
[79:06]
Alimony Tony
And Eleanor, I do. I can't wait to hear what advice you're going to give to anyone.
[79:11]
Eleanor Lindor
Oh, you probably already know. Live love Lingus.
[79:16]
Brodgers
Live love Lingus. Live love Lingus, which was the slogan.
[79:20]
Alimony Tony
For Aer Lingus for many years.
[79:21]
Eleanor Lindor
Yes, it was.
[79:23]
Alimony Tony
And Then they said, I think we're bringing the comparisons to ourselves even further. Let's stop doing it. All right. Well, Jyn, thank you for being here. Eleanor, thank you.
[79:34]
Eleanor Lindor
Thank you for having us.
[79:35]
Alimony Tony
Rogers, my co host, thank you for being here.
[79:38]
Brodgers
Thank you for being here.
[79:40]
Alimony Tony
Well, you're welcome. All right, we'll be back, of course, next year with another Valabody. Tony's Whoop. Nope. Alimony. Tony's Vallaboty Showedy. How can I screw that up? It couldn't be simpler. Alamony Tony's Vallabhody Shoney. And we'll take you out with another one of my famous song parodies. Hit it, Scott. We didn't last forever. You've packed up all your effects, but I'm at the post office sending you a letter. It's alimony and I write the checks. I write the checks mandated by the court. I write the checks providing ex wife support. I write the checks that make my accountant cry. I write the checks. I write the checks. All right, that's enough of that. That's enough of that. Thank you, everyone for listening to Alamony Tony's Vallabhoney. We'll be back next year with a brand new episode. Until then, keep your feet on the ground and keep looking for lucky pennies. Alamoni Tony signing off.
[81:39]
Opendoor Announcer
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[82:09]
Brodgers
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[82:38]
Scott Aukerman
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