Bonus Bang: Cowbell Saul (Bob Odenkirk, James Austin Johnson, Cart Tart)

Summary

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Comedy Bang Bang: Bonus Bang – "Cowbell Saul"

Date: October 2, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Bob Odenkirk, James Austin Johnson, Carl Tart (as Italiano Jones)

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Episode Overview

This special Bonus Bang episode, originally aired as episode 769 in August 2022, continues the "Bravo Italiano" mini-series celebrating Karl Tart's beloved character, "Italiano Jones." The episode overflows with improvisational absurdity as host Scott Aukerman brings together longtime friend and comic legend Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show, Better Call Saul), SNL's James Austin Johnson doing an outlandish Bobby Flay, and Karl Tart as the persistent, ultradramatic lawyer Italiano Jones. The episode features manic anecdotes about showbiz, food, and law, all filtered through the show's signature layered parody and left-field banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Timestamps

1. Opening Banter: TV, Actors, and Aging in Comedy

• [04:00–09:30]
  • Scott and Bob Odenkirk catch up about Bob's current projects and press tour for “Better Call Saul” (or as they riff, "Cowbell Sal," "Got-a-Gal Sal", etc.).
  • Nostalgia for their early days and absurd backstage stories, such as comic relief bits and “infomercial” parodies.
  • The oddity of young creators running huge shows:
    • Bob: "We give these like boss roles to young kids just because they create a show that's really good..." [08:38]
    • On SNL/Writing: “Being put in charge helps you know a bit about production because you kind of are put in charge of your pieces there.” [08:50]
  • Bob’s “old guy energy,” showbiz navel-gazing, and a running joke about being naked or greased up in the office.
    • Bob: “I was naked. Give me that... Naked and greased up. I didn’t just spank you.” [08:17]

2. Meta TV and “Cowbell Sal” Absurdity

• [10:00–25:00]
  • Riffing on pseudo-spoilers, the forthcoming "final" episode of Saul, and the fake revelation that the show is secretly planning five more hidden seasons.
    • “We're gonna do a whole nother, like, five more seasons. ... Not gonna tell anyone.” [10:54]
  • Bizarre, meta show-within-a-show logic: Odenkirk plays "Bob Odenkirk" who acts as "Saul Goodman"—with jokes about method acting, SAG requirements, changing his name, and surreal Supreme Court cases.
  • “The last episode of this season ends with [you] turning to camera and doing the Dikembe Mutombo... wag your finger, and it’s a spoiler.” [16:04]
  • Tall tales about immortality, voice-swapping, and staging a TV shoot at the ancient Pompeii amphitheater, plotting for the volcano to erupt for maximum drama.
    • “We’re gonna shoot it at Pompeii. ... We’re trying to make that [volcano] happen because it’d be a real cliffhanger.” [19:01, 19:16]

3. Bob's Health Scare and Absurd Surgery Speculations

• [20:26–24:21]
  • Discussion of Bob’s real-life on-set heart attack, transformed into an “Easter egg” on Cowbell Sal.
    • Bob: “I was actually dead for about half a scene.” [20:47]
  • Gleeful riffing on surgical removals: “I lost about half my brain... you only use 10% anyway.” [21:42]
  • Imagines a future of removing intestines, downsizing the number of bones, and just keeping the “important” ones—
    • “I don't think I need all my bones... your feet have 500 bones.” [23:37]

4. Devaluing Prestige TV—What Should Be Deleted?

• [24:25–26:08]
  • Satire of TV overload: Once you make a new classic, delete an old one like The Sopranos.
  • Blurring the lines between TV and movies: the only real distinction is “frames per second.”
    • “If someone’s watched Better Call Saul, you’d say … would you like it at a different frame rate?” [25:30]
  • Bob Odenkirk on action sequels: “Are you gonna make another one of those movies and call it like Somebody…?” [26:03]
    • Bob: “We’re trying to get one made. More Nobody as Well.” [26:16]

5. Spirituality, Success, and Self-Help Parody

• [27:03–29:32]
  • Bob mock-confesses his new-life focus on “self-empowerment” and “meditation” now that he’s “rich and old.”
    • “Now that I've made the money that I need to live.... maybe even an extra special person because of my focus now on myself.” [28:23]
  • Skewering self-care, “yogurt, yogurt, yogurt,” and faux-enlightenment.

6. Mom & Pop Casinos and Sketch Comedy Lore

• [29:47–32:41]
  • Bob and Scott reminisce about failed sketch ideas, especially the “bed and breakfast casino” sketch that never got written.
  • Discussion on the energy/age divide for sketch comedy, referencing “With Bob & David”’s cancellation.
    • “You don’t want to see old people do that... energy for sketch has to be coming from a young face.” [30:58]
    • “It’s like seeing young De Niro’s face on an old man’s body, waddling around...” [31:03]
  • Briefly considers the value of comedic “theory.”

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7. Segment: Bobby Flay's Party Realism & Culinary Abuse

• [40:21–55:06]
  • Bobby Flay (James Austin Johnson) joins, performing as a blustering, abusive East Coast celebrity chef with “Southwest flavors.”
    • Describes his catering parties as forced “Nights in the Kitchen” where guests do actual prep work, shuck prawns, and get insults hurled at them.
      • “You get in there, you get dirty... the fun is that I abuse you like I would abuse kitchen staff.” [41:00]
      • “Sometimes it’s meant, sometimes, you know, it’s… negative reinforcement or whatever.” [42:08]
    • Fanciful party anecdotes: sorting guests by what animal they resemble and assigning kitchen tasks accordingly, all culminating in slider buffets.
      • “I like to get people who are shaped like a shrimp or Langostino.” [42:42]
    • “The theme of the party is what people would throw away, but chefs like.” [47:57]
  • Surrealist food bits: prepping Toydarian (a Star Wars species) as protein at a Topher Grace party; fantasizing about eating Minions and discussing how to break them down, cook their rubbery eyes, and inconsistency in their anatomy.
    • “We get the full minion. Sometimes they only have one eye…” [57:28]

Notable Quotes

• Bobby Flay: “It’s just sliders. In the end, it’s just sliders, prawns, and oxtail.” [46:48]
• On Party Guests: “Jake from State Farm, Jared from Subway...” [46:09]
• On Minions: “They’re kind of squeaky... like almonds.” [58:42]

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8. On-Air “Throws”: Satirizing Culinary TV Links

• [53:32–56:38]
  • Bobby Flay repeatedly demonstrates the “TV throw” – over-the-top outros to commercial, loaded with cross-promotional absurdity.
    • “Now stay tuned for my epic Thanksgiving Donkey Punch & Bake Fest for fat losers and drunk moms in partnership with Ice Age 28: Death of the Caveman...” [53:35]
    • “Stay tuned for my epic Ensenada Enchilada Eleganza for rude boys, gassy queens and adjunct statistics professors...” [56:08]
  • Odenkirk: “Most people don’t pay attention when you’re cooking. It’s the throws that they watch.” [54:10]

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9. Courtroom Chaos: Italiano Jones vs. Cowbell Sal

• [66:18–81:43]
  • Karl Tart as Italiano Jones enters—loyal, overzealous Italian lawyer, obsessed with fighting for you (or anyone, legally or illegally injured).
    • “Am I strong? Give me your arm. Does that hurt? Yes, I have been lifting weights.” [66:50]
  • Surreal law discussions: Defending people who walk through glass doors, using marinara sauce (a.k.a. “Italian glue”) to put people back together.
    • “Italian glue does not stick well. It’s just marinara sauce.” [70:52]
  • Mock Trial: Bobby Flay is sued after a customer burns his mouth on a chili relleno.
    • Court devolves into role play with Bob Odenkirk as Cowbell Sal defending Flay, and Scott as judge (“Judge Leto”).
    • They debate whether hot food should be expected, with running gags about “stink lines," and signage in Piper’s Alley restaurant.
      • “You gotta shut up. I told you, don't say a thing.” [77:18]
    • The case verdict is decided by who wants to stay or go to Scott’s after-party; then reverses after discussing “House of Gucci.”
      • “I rule in favor of big pussy.” [80:59]

Notable Quotes

• Italiano Jones: “You have done more for me than [my mama] has.” [89:18]
• Bob Odenkirk/Cowbell Sal: “His job is to serve the food as hot as can be... so they can be eaten for the next few minutes or even up to an hour or two.” [77:05]

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10. Plugs: Books, TV, Podcasts, and Parties

• [82:06–85:48]
  • Bob plugs his memoir Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama, final Cowbell Sal episodes (with a parody spoiler: extensive rap performance).
    • “Spoiler alert, but yes, I do rap most of the episode.” [84:01]
  • Bobby Flay’s plug moment is meta (“just follow @ShrimpJaj, he’s a buddy of mine...”), then launches into a surreal list of party guests (Blair Underwood, Hieronymus Bosch, etc.)
  • Italiano Jones plugs “Grand Crew” streaming and podcast “XOXO, Gossip Kings” (Tart’s projects in real life and in-joke).

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Memorable Moments & Quotes by Timestamp

• [16:04] Bob Odenkirk: “I do look into the lens and I wag my finger, and it's kind of a told you so. Caught you. Gotcha.”
• [20:47] Bob Odenkirk: “I'm just kind of hoping the audience doesn't notice I'm actually dead for about half a scene.”
• [42:17] Bobby Flay: “I wouldn't even call it abuse. I would more just call it sort of yelling and occasional violence.”
• [58:25] Scott: “They're funny and it's funny how great they taste, I bet.”
• [77:05] Cowbell Sal: “His job is to serve the food as hot as can be...”
• [84:01] Bob Odenkirk: “Spoiler alert number 900, but yes, I do rap most of the episode.”

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Tone and Style

As always, Comedy Bang Bang is absurd, improvisational, and highly referential—filled with meta-jokes about showbiz, parodic character comedy, and extended riffs that spiral into the surreal. The guests (and the host) effortlessly blur lines between real anecdotes, satirical premises, and total farce.

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Episode Structure & Section Timing

| Segment | Timestamps | |------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | Banter, Odenkirk's career, meta TV talk | 04:00–25:00 | | Health/surgery jokes, prestige TV, sketch memories | 20:26–32:41 | | Bobby Flay segment (parties, food, abuse routine) | 40:21–55:06 | | "Throw" jokes (TV outro parodies) | 53:32–56:38 | | Minion cuisine/absurd culinary riffs | 57:02–59:44 | | Law segment: Italiano Jones/Cowbell Sal trial | 66:18–81:43 | | Plugs (real and fake projects, podcasts, books) | 82:06–85:48 | | Closing banter/exit | 85:48–End |

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Takeaways

• The episode is a densely packed improv showcase of comedic minds riffing on showbiz, food culture, aging, and self-importance.
• Bob Odenkirk shares real stories but always with a heavy absurdist twist.
• James Austin Johnson’s Bobby Flay is an instant classic: hilarious, abrasive, and ready to turn any scenario into a high-pressure kitchen.
• Karl Tart’s Italiano Jones is a lovable, chaotic force, ready to “fight for you” against all reason.
• Signature CBB elements are in full force: meta-layered in-jokes, running “throws” bit, parodic “plugs,” and fake philosophical debates.

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This episode is a must-listen for fans of meta-comedy, character improvisation, and the unfiltered, anarchic energy that has made Comedy Bang Bang a staple for 15 years.

Transcript

[A]

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Progressive where drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average. Plus auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Quote [e-mail] to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts all states and situations. I'm Scott Hanson, host of NFL Red Zone. Lowe's knows Sundays are for football. That's why we're here to help you get your next DIY project done. Even when the clock isn't on your side. Whether that's a new Filtreat filter or Bosch and Cobalt power tools, Lowe's has everything you need to feel like the MVP of diy. So get it done and earn your sundae shop now in store and online. Lowe's official partner of the NFL. Hey everyone. Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another bonus bang where we re release great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang from Behind the Paywall. We are deep, deep into a series. Well, this is the second episode in it, but this is a series we're calling Bravo Italiano. We forgot to say the title of it last episode. But this is where we're featuring Italiano Jones. That's right, the great Karl Tartt, his character, Italiano Jones. And this week we are releasing an episode called Cowbell Saul. Now this was Originally released on August 7, 2022 as episode 769. In this episode we get another visit from the lawyer that will fight for you. That's right, Italiano Jones. It also features Bob Odenkirk, my old friend from Mr. Show. You know him of course, from Nobody 2, which just came out as well as Better Call Saul and he is our A block guest. And James Austin Johnson from Saturday Night Live is here as Bobby Flay. Now if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the archives. Every single live show we've done ad free new episodes and original shows like CBB Presents that Scott hasn't seen. And and if you're a big Italiano Jones fan, you can order the Italiano Jones action [e-mail] we also have other great comedy Bang Bang action figures like Andre P. Newer, Carissa, Randy Snuts, myself even. You can go to action figureseller.com for international purchases. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang. There once was a man from Nantucket. His name was Sven and I think he sold health insurance. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hmm. Thank you to Chaz Fremont III for that catchphrase submission. Chaz Fremont iii. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We have a great week. I tell you, after a few. A few months where we had zero celebrities, no one wanted to come to my backyard. Maybe we had a David Cross once in a while, you know, here and there. But, you know, when you invite people to a backyard, celebrities mainly don't want to go there. We're finally back in the studio where all of August we are just. The stars are out. The stars are out in the night sky. I don't want to say who we have. We had Patton last week. It's all people I know.

[B]

Holy shit.

[A]

Wow. Holy shit. But we do have a big Hollywood star coming up a little later. We do have a celebrity chef. We have a lawyer coming up a little bit later. And yeah, our main guest played a lawyer on television and is still playing a lawyer. He has another couple of episodes of his show. It's called I Cal Sal. What is it called again?

[B]

God, I get Sal.

[A]

God, I get Sal. Um, there is another episode tonight. If you're listening to this today, it comes out. There's the final episode next Monday night.

[B]

No, no, there's four more.

[A]

Well, we're taping this in advance. Yes, yes. As we discussed previously, I don't know.

[B]

How radio or podcast.

[A]

I'm on tour right now. I'm all. I'm. I'm across the United States. I'm not here in the studio, unfortunately. But, yes, there's two more episodes. One tonight.

[B]

Wait, is everything I see on TV pre taped?

[A]

Yes. Even the news, Even sports? What? Yeah, it's all happening five days earlier. The moon landing, that was the only thing that was.

[B]

No wonder I always lose in the casino. I keep talking about casinos.

[A]

Yeah, I know. We were talking about casinos before you got casinos on the mind. And maybe that is a glimpse inside the twisted mind of our main guest here. He's got dollar signs behind his eyelids.

[B]

I love. He's so twisted.

[A]

So twisted. So str. She's got to be on drugs.

[B]

Career.

[A]

I know. You got to be on drugs to do the things you do.

[B]

Not at all. And it's not that, actually.

[A]

You show up. You show up pretty early and you.

[B]

Yeah, and it's like it's never that I'm. Usually the things that that's brought up around are not that weird.

[A]

Well, it's also not. Your current life is weird. It's.

[B]

I remember when growing up when David and I did comic relief 8.

[A]

I remember that.

[B]

And we did.

[A]

You were naked.

[B]

Well, we did the naked phrase. Guess right. But also as well, we did a brief moment where we did a fake infomercial. Hey, get the Comic Relief T shirt. If you donate 50 bucks. What can you use it for? It'll protect you against spaghetti and watermelon and pizza pie. All that shit. That joke. Yes. And it's just a fucking fun riff.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And when we were. And it got laughs, it was great. And when it was done, the deer and I like her. Whoopi Goldberg goes. What was. I don't know what they're on. I don't know.

[A]

I remember that.

[B]

That was like fake infomercial. We did the dumbest, most obvious thing. What do you mean?

[A]

Maybe the examples of the jokes were a little far out there. I remember that being a sticking silly. A sticking point in the office for months after that. I remember you guys flying back.

[B]

There's a lot of things you could say. She could have said, no. That was hacky.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

That would have been fine. I would have.

[A]

That's no sister. Act two. Yeah. Well, he's here. I still haven't introduced him yet, but Balcal Sal is coming up and let's welcome him back. My old Mr. Show buddy, Bob Odenkirk.

[B]

Many hamburgers to you and many hamburgers right back.

[A]

Thank you so much. I appreciate cheeseburgers, in fact. What? Yeah. We have never added. Never added cheese to our traditional greeting.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This is exactly the type of weird, twisted mind.

[B]

I'm a gen. Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. Incredible. You are on drugs, Bob, are you not? Bob, welcome back to the show. Great to have you here. You've been, you've been on since the early days. We've known each other for now. I. You. You knew me since I was a 25 year old boy.

[B]

Now you're like a 40 year old boy.

[A]

29.

[B]

43.

[A]

Do you think I'm 43? I love that.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

I appreciate it. I was thinking about when we first met each other, how I was but a boy and I thought you were so much older than me and I don't think you were.

[B]

But I was probably 30.

[A]

You're probably 32 when we worked together. And it's like how, you know, how can you Ever expect like. And you were in charge and you were a 33 year old kid.

[B]

I know, right.

[A]

But you seem like. You seem like an old guy to me.

[B]

Well, I had a kind of an old guy energy, don't you think?

[A]

Plus you would spank us all.

[B]

Well, I was naked. Give me that.

[A]

I mean, hey, we can agree on that.

[B]

Give me some slack. Naked and greased up. I didn't just spank you. Agree.

[A]

All right, fine.

[B]

It was sexual.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. So I'm not just trying to hurt.

[A]

People, but it is funny that, that.

[B]

Trying to get off.

[A]

In show business, we give these like boss roles to young kids just because they create a show that's really good, you know, and then you have to be in charge of a whole bunch of people.

[B]

Well, I was a Saturday Night Live writer and that helped me know a bit about production because you kind of are put in charge of your pieces there. Right. And so, yeah, I had some.

[A]

And you knew.

[B]

And I'd been at the Stiller show.

[A]

Right. And you knew what you didn't want to do from previous jobs. I know.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

You didn't want it to be on Saturday. You didn't want it to be live.

[B]

Yeah. And definitely not at night.

[A]

No, Never.

[B]

No.

[A]

Early mornings.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Sometimes it would. The sun wouldn't be up, let's be honest. Because they would come on at 6am depending on the time zone.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

And that was it felt a little like cheating.

[B]

Right. But those are my rules. And we did it. And. And it.

[A]

You had eight simple rules, did you not? For putting on a television show with your teenage daughter, David Cross.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

You guys, you. Of course, that was the past. The present is not.

[B]

Talk about the past.

[A]

Oh, God. I mean, it's bad enough. I mean, you're probably doing a whole ton of press for better. What is. Got a gal Sal Got a gal named Seth Got a gal named Sal. And you. Is all the press done or do you still have more? Because the finale's coming up.

[B]

There's more.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Always more.

[A]

Always more. Until when? Until next Emmy season. So like another year probably.

[B]

Yeah, because it actually will be.

[A]

Yeah, it'll be the last six or whatever. Seven will be votable or whatever. Yeah. So you'll have to keep.

[B]

Know what's going to happen. But I think that we're. This is our big final run here. I mean maybe we'll get a shot next year, but the last episodes are playing now and I think they're some of our best work. So I think we Gotta. This is the time to tell people. If you like the show, give us a tick the box.

[A]

But we were talking before you were telling. And I don't. I don't want to spoil this necessarily, but you were saying that this is a fake out. That this is a fake last season and there's actually one more.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's not. It's probably a spoiler, but I guess it's a spoiler. We're gonna do a whole nother. Like, five more seasons.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So we're only gonna. We're not gonna tell anyone.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or have it broadcast in any way so that they'll continually be shocked and surprised at the news that. Wait, they're doing more? Yeah, they couldn't believe it. They. We. It's all written. I mean. Yeah. Some of it is shot well, everything.

[A]

You guys wrote everything five years in advance? Usually.

[B]

Yeah. Most of the show was written 15, 20 years ago, actually, before I even. I was in show business. But only marginally.

[A]

I heard that episode was one episode. One was written while the creator was, like, having sex with his wife. And, like.

[B]

Like, actually God was having sex as a creator.

[A]

Yes, exactly.

[B]

No, you mean who is God's wife?

[A]

When you think about it, it's weird that he's a lonely bachelor, isn't it?

[B]

Mother Nature.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. They get it on.

[B]

Come on now.

[A]

But you were telling me that.

[B]

Kind of a harmless observation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Potentially, you could say God's wife is Mother Nature.

[A]

Yeah, it's harmless. Who's gonna get mad? Who's gonna be mad that God just railing.

[B]

Mother Nature, Zeus. It's not some God from some religion. It's just a generic. Yeah, you know, everybody.

[A]

Embodiment and personification of. Of. Of the world. Exactly.

[B]

Goodness and earth and nature. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You were telling me the last episode of this season of Better C B, the middle season. Yeah. Ends with Bob. The Bob character. You play Bob, Right?

[B]

I'm Bob. I play a character named Bob Odenkirk, which is so lucky for me. Right. That my name.

[A]

Because otherwise it would get confusing on set where they're like, bob, we're ready for you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. It's like.

[B]

And I'd be like, who's my character? I'm Saul. But whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I play a character named Bob Odenkirk who's gotten a job as Saul Goodman.

[A]

And he has to act like this Saul Goodman guy.

[B]

And he's. Yeah, he's acting. And he's also constantly checking his ratings to see how his show's doing.

[A]

Right. He's very, very interested in that.

[B]

And so he's constantly injecting excitement and energy and drama into this otherwise bland job. Simple job.

[A]

Right. A guy with a pretty boring, anodyne life with two children and a wife.

[B]

The thing that was so hard about doing it, Scott, was I'd never been a lawyer, and I had to pass the bar. And, you know, this is what you have to do. And Jared Leto.

[A]

Leto. I believe it's pronounced.

[B]

I think he'd prefer everyone change it to Leto.

[A]

He prefer we all change it to Leto. All right. This is going to be a lot of paperwork for me, but. Okay.

[B]

Jared Leto and Bronson Pinchot, they got.

[A]

Together on this toe and show, called me from sag.

[B]

They both called me at the same. Hello, Jared.

[A]

Because was it. They both called you at the same time or from, like, when I got the job?

[B]

You get a call from a SAG representative and those two. And they are there to say, you know, listen, you are very lucky you are in the club, but you have to do. You know, you have to. We. You can't just pretend, you know, you have to do this thing.

[A]

You gotta do the research.

[B]

So they had me lose weight, then I had to gain weight, then get. They just dialed it in perfectly, right? So actually, it was like a pound less than I was when I started this whole.

[A]

So they said lose weight. You lost 40 and had to gain 39.

[B]

And then. Oh, wait, you gave me to see if I had the right schmutz.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And then I. I got the right weight, and then I had to pass the bar, and then I had to, you know, change my name, just all Goodman and. Right.

[A]

Oh, you changed your. Illegally. Oh, wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or did you do it illegally?

[B]

I did it legally.

[A]

You did illegally. Okay, great.

[B]

All the way up to the Supreme Court. I mean, this is.

[A]

They took that case. Wow. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, they. They have so many. You know, almost every.

[A]

You hear about the big ones. Abortion, whatever.

[B]

You only hear about the big ones.

[A]

But they do the little tiny ones all the time. Can this guy change his name? Can that guy change his name?

[B]

My license was expired.

[A]

You know, they took care of that.

[B]

Have you ever gone to court? I mean, it goes up to the Supreme Court very quickly.

[A]

Yeah, well, I once got a parking ticket that I didn't show up for, and I went to the. Had Right.

[B]

Odds are they just kick it upstairs. They keep kicking it upstairs.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And they. The nine justices. There's only nine. This is. Yeah, we need more.

[A]

The wonderful nine.

[B]

300 400?

[A]

I would. I mean, thousands. Why not? You know what's better than a million? A billion. As I said in the Social Network, not starring Bob Odenkirk, our guest today.

[B]

I once wrote a sketch for a Saturday Night Live called the Jillionaire, and he was the guy who helped billionaires when they were low on funds.

[A]

What would he do? He'd loan them money? Or you would just, like.

[B]

It would be like, you're in trouble and I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna give you a couple million dollars you need to carry you, tide you over. But it was like, yeah, he did. That was the adventure. Like, find a billionaire in trouble and help him out.

[A]

What happened to that sketch, can I ask?

[B]

It didn't get on.

[A]

What? But you were telling me, Bob, that the very last episode of this season ends with you turning to camera and doing the Dikembe Mutombo and going, ah, ah, ah. We're back. We're back. Next season.

[B]

Is that a TikTok thing?

[A]

TikTok thing? It's sports. He would wag his finger all the time at the crowds because they would be booing him. This is what I don't know. I'm looking to my sports guy over here, and he's on the phone, not.

[B]

Listening, but I'll have to check it out.

[A]

But you wag your finger at the.

[B]

End of the episode, and it's a spoiler for probably pretty much everybody. But I do look into the lens and I wag my finger, and it's kind of a told you so. Caught you. Gotcha.

[A]

Made you look.

[B]

Made you look at the whole series.

[A]

Because you were on right before the finale of Breaking Bad many years ago, one of our earlier episodes. And you spoiled. You spoiled that episode for us, which ended with Walter White's son on the skateboard. His legs were fixed, and he said, look what I can do. I remember you telling us. And so I just want a similar spoiler. You know, it's like, look.

[B]

Well, what happens in the end? We know that this character of Saul, Jimmy, whatever, Gene. Bob Odenkirk.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Gets a sex change. Surprisingly, Kim, the woman he loves, gets a sex change. And they can. And they do.

[A]

They do. Face off surgery as well.

[B]

They do. And then they are together again as a couple forever.

[A]

Incredible. This is big news.

[B]

Yeah. And they. They do live forever. That's kind of. That shows.

[A]

So they're like eternals or immortals?

[B]

Immortal.

[A]

And do they have that surgery? How did they get that?

[B]

That is actually an accident. Of.

[A]

What are they Hit by a car and suddenly.

[B]

No. The tanning booth that they go in and something's wrong. They switch it off and makes you live forever.

[A]

Oh, okay. Got it.

[B]

It's not important. It's a great idea for a show, but it's like.

[A]

But barely. Oh, you were. Okay.

[B]

So the two gonna be about them is a couple. The next couple seasons are them as a couple.

[A]

Do they get vocal surgery as well, where they switch voices? Or is it the same voices but in different bodies now?

[B]

Well, that's the challenge production wise, because I'm gonna have to record all my lines into her voice, and her voice will go into my voice and.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Can't do it any other way.

[A]

And. Yeah.

[B]

In fact, you know.

[A]

Are you gonna do it live in front of a studio audience?

[B]

We're live in front of a studio audience. As large as we can get.

[A]

Maybe like arenas or maybe even stadiums or.

[B]

I don't want give too much away, but we're gonna. Have you ever seen the Pink Floyd movie Pink Floyd. At Pompeii.

[A]

At Pompeii. No, I haven't seen that one.

[B]

We're gonna shoot it.

[A]

You're doing it at Pompeii?

[B]

Yeah, in front of the old. In the old theater.

[A]

Whoa there.

[B]

And the old surround theater. Because it's actually the best sound.

[A]

Do you think it'll ever go off in the middle of a show? That would be the dream. Like, suddenly you're doing a show, volcano go off.

[B]

Well, we're trying to make that happen because that would be a real cliffhanger moment.

[A]

Yeah, it would.

[B]

It was hard to get volcanoes to go off, you know?

[A]

Yeah. What can you really do? Like set depth charge explosives or.

[B]

Well, there's a lot you can do, and we're doing all of it. It's gonna cost a lot of money and boy, I hope people watch. Boy, oh, boy. Cause we'll all die.

[A]

Sure. But I mean, we all have to die.

[B]

We'll be frozen in place.

[A]

That's the thing.

[B]

That's what's beautiful.

[A]

You see all these, like, you know, statues or skeletons from Pompeii. Man, they're famous.

[B]

They're all famous. Everyone who died in Pompeii.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We all know that they're eternally in that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In that.

[A]

Doing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you imagine? Okay, everyone, we're acting out the poses that we're doing. Like, everyone's sort of like reaching to the sky, like, hey, lava, don't fall on me. Can you imagine doing something embarrassing and that be what's like, you're eternally known for, like you're scratching your butt or something like that, you know? How terrible would that be?

[B]

It would be, but I think a big wall of hot lava is going to make you get your attention away from your itchy ass.

[A]

I don't know. I mean, as itchy as it can get, you know, who knows?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Bob, you went through a health scare while you were filming the Cowbell Sal show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it.

[B]

Is this an Easter egg bell Sal?

[A]

Cowbell Sal. More Cowbell Sal. Is this an Easter egg in the show where there's a scene where suddenly you clutch your heart and it abruptly cuts away and it made it into the show as, like, an Easter egg? Yeah.

[B]

I'm just kind of hoping the audience doesn't notice. I'm actually dead for about half a scene.

[A]

Half a scene, really turned gray.

[B]

And so sputtering.

[A]

Are they. They're cutting back to your coverage, though.

[B]

You know, this is happening. You know what I mean? They thought. They weren't sure if it was an acting choice, and then they. When they saw it, they went, I. We just like it. They asked, when we use it, can we use it? And I was like, look, I was on the clock. I was getting paid.

[A]

You're getting paid either way. What do you give a shit?

[B]

Sure, if you guys think it's great. So my character, and it does seem a little strange, just shuts down, falls to the ground, turns gray, can't breathe, and they carry on with the scene.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Professionals.

[B]

Troopers.

[A]

Yeah. And.

[B]

And that's showbiz.

[A]

That's incredible.

[B]

After they yelled cut. Minute or two later.

[A]

After. So a minute or two after the old cut.

[B]

Yeah, I was. I didn't have oxygen for. I don't know, not long. 17, 20, 40 minutes more. Yeah.

[A]

Not. Not that big of a deal.

[B]

I lost about half my brain. But, you know, they say you only use 10 of your brain.

[A]

Yeah. So did you. Did you lose the half that wasn't part of that 10? Or did you.

[B]

Yeah, the doctors edited an MRI and they said everything. You don't use any of the part you lost at all. In fact, we can take it out. And they are going to take it.

[A]

Oh, they are? What are they going to do with it?

[B]

Well, I don't know. They're just going to throw it away.

[A]

I'd love to have it if you.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Giving it.

[B]

I mean, sure, but they're just going to throw it away. You know those medical waste.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Containers. You can throw it into that, you know, and so that's coming next week. And then I'll be lighter. Physically lighter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have less in my head.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

They're. They don't replace it with anything. It's just literally empty. And the rest of your brain just flops around in there. And I guess you can.

[A]

It's got a little more room, you know?

[B]

Yeah. It's not a thing. It doesn't change anything about who you are.

[A]

So if you're, like, shaking your head in disagreement, you'll hear, like a sloshing sound. Wow, that's amazing. Congrats, man.

[B]

Well, I, you know, I. A lot of people get surgery on their faces or whatever. I want the inside changed. I want the inside of me different.

[A]

That's the thing. The outside is perfect. And you've worked hard to get some.

[B]

Of my intestines taken out.

[A]

Really? Which ones long?

[B]

I can't decide. I'm flipping a coin. I'm trying to decide. I like them both.

[A]

Yeah, they're both great. I mean, they both do.

[B]

Get rid of the large intestine. Yeah, most of it. Because I'm just like, well, it's large.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

It's like, let's get it.

[A]

Let's.

[C]

Let's.

[B]

Medium.

[A]

Can we.

[B]

Can we get.

[A]

Can we agree on a medium intestine for once?

[B]

Really need the small one's. Not taking up a lot of room. No bothering me with a lot of issues.

[A]

Ah, geez.

[B]

But meanwhile, I got this large one, I tell you, so small and medium is going to work for me. And other things, too.

[A]

Sure. Yeah. What about some bones, you know?

[B]

Yeah, I don't think I need all my bones. You say your feet have 500 bones.

[A]

It's like, come on, let's get this down to 25. You know what I mean? Like, that's a manageable number.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everybody, you know the ear. Relax with the foot bones.

[A]

The ear bones, too. They say that's like you have a million in there.

[B]

Is that so?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

The only bone that counts, though. Am I right, buddy?

[B]

Morning wood.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Be clear. Let's use the medical chart.

[A]

Let's just be clear what we're talking about. Morning wood at this point. Well, better.

[C]

Better.

[A]

Gotta get.

[C]

Gotta get that guy.

[A]

He's.

[B]

Come on, Sal.

[A]

Come on, get over here. He's only on our television screens for another week. Another eight days.

[B]

Another eight days, and then you can't see it anywhere.

[A]

Never. No, they. They deleted. I think that's fair. Too. For every television show that they make, they should delete one.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah. Because otherwise it's too many and it's too many things. Time.

[A]

So, like, bother. Like, I, like. I think now that you guys have made these shows, they should go back and delete the Sopranos, you know, because it's about as. They're about as good. You know what I mean?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, Right there. They have to be as equally good as well.

[B]

Yeah. So, like, you know, two years from now, they'll. Three years from now, they'll get rid of my show and Severance moves into post world.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah.

[B]

It's the way TV works and it's the way the business has always been, and I think it's good.

[A]

Yeah. What about those movies? You know, there's. You did that Nobody one. And the main difference to me is the. There's like 29 frames per second in.

[B]

TV between its characters and the story of the two things, the two projects and Nobody. The main.

[A]

The main difference is.

[B]

Yeah, there's 20 story. It's not the 29 frames per second.

[A]

In the frames in the TV and 24 in the movie. Is that what.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That's the difference. I mean, essentially, if somebody's watched Better Call Saul, you'd say to them, did you like it? Would you like it at a different frame rate?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Check out Nobody. And if you've seen Nobody and they go, what's that Saul show like? Well, would you like fewer frames?

[A]

More? I think it's more, isn't it? I'm not sure. 29.3. Who knows? Are you gonna make another one of those movies and call it like Somebody or like they're also Nobody or, like, what are you gonna do?

[B]

First of all, thank you for that suggestion. It's never been uttered before by anyone. I think we're trying to get one.

[A]

Made more Nobody as well.

[B]

Yes. In fact, that's the title.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Nobody as well.

[A]

Indeed you are, though. I mean, you know, you got Jason Mantzoukas in that other movie, the John Wick Three.

[B]

Yeah. Is he?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You should fight him in this new movie, Jason. Yeah.

[B]

In the film or off stage?

[A]

Either one.

[B]

During the movie. During the making.

[A]

During the making of the movie. Oh, yeah. I'd like you to find it. Yeah.

[B]

I can bring your idea. And I think it's a Hand of God. It's a good idea. I don't know if I could take him. He's younger than me. Spry.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I think I Have a little bit.

[A]

Slightly younger, slightly spier. You mentioned Hand of God. You were saying before the show that you're now incredibly religious and that everything has led to you just basically now having a close personal relationship.

[B]

I wake up every day, I get baptized in the morning, I get last rites at night.

[A]

Just in case. Just in case. How long do those last rites last? That's the thing they call them, though.

[B]

They last all night. You can sleep in.

[A]

Is it a 24 hour thing, though? Absolutely. You can't sleep in. Great stuff.

[B]

I have a little altar in my pocket.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I can pull it out and start praying.

[A]

Do you?

[B]

Yeah. Now you see, it's what it is, Scott, is now that I've succeeded in my career and I have a certain degree of satisfaction in that department. I won't now I care about my. The purpose and meaning of my existence.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So like a lot of people who get to this place in their lives, in their career, I'm all about, you know, self empowerment, self awareness, meditation.

[A]

Yogurt, Yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt, yogurt. Yes.

[B]

And all that stuff has come to me now because I'm rich and old.

[A]

You can finally afford it and I.

[B]

Can afford to fuck around and do nothing.

[A]

You can pay people to do all your errands and stuff.

[B]

So now suddenly really captivated by that.

[A]

Incredible.

[B]

I think it's the most important thing actually, now that I've made the money that I need to live.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I think I'm a pretty good person and maybe even extra special person because of my focus now on myself.

[A]

If only the poor people could afford to.

[B]

If only. You know, I just look around and I feel so bad. And it's just like other people are not as smart as me. They're not as aware as I am about just existential. It's a word.

[A]

I just didn't work as hard as you to get where you got as well.

[B]

I think I deserve everything I've gotten and probably more. A little bit more. And now you get that for me. Time.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And I think it's really about time I focus on me. I think I need to meditate and focus on nothingness and myself.

[A]

Are you going to climb up any mountains or anything like that? Do any like.

[B]

Yeah. Tracks, you know, with a. Adventures. I. I just want to challenge myself. As long as, you know, it's. I'm really well cared for the whole time.

[A]

Exactly. It's like glamping, in other words. Yeah. Like if you could glamp up on Mount Everest. Would you?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Helicopter to the top.

[A]

Yes. Thank you.

[B]

Stay in a casino. I'll bring it up again.

[A]

Here it is.

[B]

Stay in a casino. Maybe a tent.

[A]

A tent. But, you know, it has a. Like, at least two slot machines.

[B]

Changed the top of every. You know. Have you noticed that? What do you mean?

[A]

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Do you remember the mom and Pop casino sketch that we were all trying to write? Several. Several times.

[B]

We should have been able to write that.

[A]

We should have been able to, but we never could. But it was all about. I remember the one iteration was about a Mom and Pop. It was basically a bed and breakfast casino, and they had one slot machine and it paid out the $5 million jackpot, and they couldn't afford it. And they were like, well, I guess we could borrow a couple thousand from our next door neighbor. It was just the disintegration of this mom and dad.

[B]

That was a great idea.

[A]

It was a good idea.

[B]

Let's do more Mr. Show.

[A]

Okay, let's do it. Or at least the other show. What was the other show called? With Bob.

[B]

With Bob and David.

[A]

Is that coming back even after the.

[B]

As it turns out, I don't think people care that much to see older folks do sketch comedy.

[A]

Interesting. Is it a young man's game or a young person's game?

[B]

I think it is young person's character. I actually think that that's the lesson from that awesome show. I mean, I think it was a great show. I'm very proud of it. I think it was very funny and silly and perfect. It's just like, who wants to see. You don't want to see old people do that.

[A]

You don't want to see these.

[B]

There's something about it. The energy for sketch has to be coming from a young face.

[A]

Well, it's like when you watch the Irishman and you're seeing young Robert De Niro's face on this extremely old man's body waddling around and barely able to run. That's what it feels like watching with Bob and David, right?

[B]

No, it's. We did a great job, and it's great. It's just the audience is not gonna go down for it.

[A]

Well, I still think that that's my theory.

[B]

I have a lot of theories.

[A]

You do. You're. You're one of the people who has the most comedic theories I've ever met. No, you're not.

[B]

I know a lot of people in comedy feel like it's dumb to make theories and rules. And I think rules are kind of dumb. But theories are not dumb. They're good. They're fun to have. And you should.

[A]

I mean, I. I know one guy who had one, and his name was. An apple fell on his head and he was suddenly like, hey, maybe there's this thing called gravity. And his name was Isaac Newton. Wanted to say Asimov for a long time, and someone may have slipped me the answer.

[C]

Jesus.

[A]

Look, we can agree that I'm not smart, right? Was I the dumbest. The dumbest writer you ever worked with?

[B]

Well, I've worked with myself, you know.

[A]

Oh, and Brian Posay.

[B]

Boy, what a room that was. Talk about geniuses. Ah, well, Bob, Brent Forrester went to Columbia, and they had a perfect SAT.

[A]

He was the only person scored a perfect SAT. The only person who was ever one of the Mr. Show writers who went to college. Is that right? Whoever graduated from college?

[B]

No, I graduated.

[A]

You graduated from college? Which one?

[B]

Southern Illinois University.

[A]

Wonderful.

[B]

I'm very happy with myself.

[A]

Well, Southern Illinois's best is here with us right now. Bob Odenkirk. He's saying goodbye to his television. He's throwing his television away after. After next week.

[B]

After years of, you know.

[A]

You're just gonna rip it out of the wall. Yeah, just throw it right in the ash can.

[B]

It's done me good. I've done well from it. Yeah. You know, and the fact that you have to, do, have your TV to be on tv, and they.

[A]

It seems inconvenient, but it makes sense when you think about it.

[B]

Well, every child knows, you know, you get a box and you cut it out and then you put a show on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's how we do Saw.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

You have your TV set and they film that breakout.

[A]

It's a fake. Yeah, it's a fake TV set. A lot of people don't know when you turn on your tv, there's a little even tinier TV in the frame of the tv. Just barely, but that's what. That's what we're filming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is you guys behind that tv?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Arduous process and totally unnecessary, but yet.

[A]

It is worth it.

[B]

It's working wonderfully.

[A]

It's worth it because the show is so amazing.

[B]

Now, speaking of wonderfulness.

[A]

Well, we have to take a break, if that's okay. But I know you're done with the interview portion. There's only so many fake questions we can do before we have to take. Go to a break. But we do have to go to a break. We have a celebrity chef Here, Bob, this is. This is exciting. We also have a lawyer, and you played a lawyer on this show. Cal Bal. Sal. We're gonna be right back. We have more. Bob Odenkirk, More comedy. Bang. Bang. We'll be right back with more after this. Hey, everyone. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I know what you're saying. What is Squarespace? Why did they bring me this podcast? I thought I just pressed a button. No, no, no, no. Squarespace brought it to you. Here's what it is. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're just starting out or whether you're growing your business. Here's what it does. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Don't you hate offering services and getting paid in two different places? I do. It helps you do this in one simple place. It showcases consultations, events and more. You can do all of this with a customizable website built to attract clients and grow your business. Plus get paid faster with professional invoices and easy online payments. And with their collection of cutting edge design tools. Anyone, and I mean anyone, even me, even I, could do this. Anyone can build a bespoke online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Here's what you do. You start with Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced Website Builder to get a fully custom website in just a few steps, using basic information about your industry, your goals and your personality. As annoying as you might be, I'm just talking to myself. To generate premium quality content and personalized design recommendations. Head over to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang Bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp World Mental Health Day. Boy, coming up. It's in October.

[C]

Now.

[A]

One thing that helps us all through World Mental Health Year is going to therapy. And you know this is a time to show appreciation for therapists everywhere and to feel the broader benefits of therapy. World Mental Health Day is in October and BetterHelp is shining the spotlight on therapists, people who truly make the world a better place. Because the right therapist can change everything. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. And a short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means that BetterHelp typically gets it right the first time. But if you're not happy with your match, you know what, go ahead, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored wrecks. This World mental health day we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward. And if you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can start you on that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Bang Bang. That is betterhelp.com Bang Bang.

[B]

Your sausage McMuffin with egg didn't change your receipt did the sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5 only at McDonald's for a limited time.

[A]

Prices and participation may vary. Comedy Bang bang. We're back. Bob Odenkirk of Cowbell Sal is is here. And there is more cowbell in in this season.

[B]

Oh, my God. Actually, it's not more the biggest cowbell.

[A]

Oh, that's what he meant. Oh, okay.

[B]

It's actually the world's biggest.

[A]

World's biggest or United States biggest.

[B]

Oh, the world's biggest.

[A]

World's biggest.

[B]

We pulled out all the stops. I mean, this thing is, it's not a hologram.

[A]

Really? How big is it? Like six feet.

[B]

Six feet.

[A]

You're laughing. What is seven?

[B]

It's, it's the size of an Olympic pool upside down. Cowbell size and cowbell sized.

[A]

Olympic pool upside down.

[B]

Such a thing. I mean, when do you see it on your television set and you go.

[A]

Like, probably going to look smaller.

[B]

I've loved for you years Cowbell Sal played by Bob Odenkirk and then Racion as Kim Wexler. And you're just gonna see like, wow, here comes the biggest cowbell I've ever seen. They're talking about it and they have emotion and do I have to buy.

[A]

A bigger TV for it or what.

[B]

Do I dealer is there going, I don't want that cowbell in my town.

[A]

And ding, ding, ding. Does he do the ding dings? That's what the cowbell is for, Scott.

[B]

Spoiler alert. But I love you for it. You pay attention. Yes, you pay attention.

[A]

I knew it. I knew if I watched.

[B]

That's how you know.

[A]

I knew if I watched this like every other episode. Yeah.

[B]

To be and go, hey, I saw the bell. I remember.

[A]

Yeah, I remember the bell.

[B]

I saw the title largest cowbell in the world. And it's really gonna make Breaking Bad.

[A]

Look like, like the world's biggest piece of honestly.

[B]

Well, not. Let's put it in bell terms, okay?

[A]

Like a, like a bell shaped piece of shit. No. What are you trying to say?

[B]

It's gonna make Breaking Bad look like a little bell on the. Oh, like skate of a, of a 10 year old. Yeah. You know, figure skater.

[A]

Yeah. Who's taking a.

[B]

It's gonna make it look like a bell on a cat.

[A]

Like a cat's cat's neck. Yeah. So you know where your cat and.

[B]

This, this goddamn show. Cowbell Sal. And I tell you, I think people are gonna turn their TVs off and kick them and throw them out the window. Yeah, I saw it. I saw all people say, do you watch tv? I saw it.

[A]

I already saw that.

[B]

I already saw tv. I don't need any more.

[A]

Wonderful, wonderful.

[B]

Well, thanks for the build up. And I think we're gonna make people happy.

[A]

Yeah, I really do. We need to get to our next guest, though. Speaking of making people happy.

[B]

Please.

[A]

I'm sorry, he is. Oh, no, not at all. I love talking to you, of course. But he's a celebrity chef. Let's talk to him here. He's never been on the show before. Bobby Flay is here.

[C]

Hey, it's so great to be here with you, Scott.

[A]

Hey, Bobby.

[C]

Bob, obviously, you know, huge. Two bobbies and I, you know, I actually think we met a few years ago, maybe in 2012. 13. I can't remember what it was. One of my res. I think it was probably a Bar American. I think he had an after party at Bar American for some. I don't know what the it was.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

But it was so great to see it.

[B]

I vaguely remembered. And I loved it. The burgers were great.

[C]

We had the slightest stage big slightest day. Everybody, you know, make your own sliders. You sort of one of those fun peaks behind the curry. Everybody got to go back in the kitchen, pick out different proteins and everything.

[A]

I don't like, I don't like that because I'm, I'm paying you to do it. You know, why do I have to make my own thing?

[C]

No, it's fine. It's fun. You know, you get in there, you get dirty and we actually, we try to make it as realistic. You know, at night in the kitchen, it was the theme of the party was night in the kitchen. I don't remember that.

[B]

I do remember. I remember very well. I loved it so much.

[A]

The whole party was like.

[B]

And you showed up, you had to get there. Punch your punch card.

[C]

Yeah. You had to show up pretty early.

[B]

4Am you actually had to fill out.

[A]

A form to get a job W.9 and everything.

[C]

Yeah. I had you shucking oysters for three or four hours.

[A]

Doing prep work.

[C]

Yeah, he's doing prep work.

[A]

Marrying ketchups.

[C]

Marrying ketchups and sort of rolly silver and everything. And. Yeah, the whole, the whole idea behind the whole thing. And we do it with everybody, you know, a lot of different production, you know, a lot of productions like it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Colin and Scarlett, you know, call me over sometimes and we, you know, we'll chop it up with them, you know, do a night at the kitchen for us. But, like, the big hit is that I abuse you. Like I would abuse kitchen staff.

[A]

Oh, okay. So, like. And you normally do that? I, I. Yeah, yeah. You just yell at people. I don't really know that much about you.

[B]

Sometimes I think you meant it.

[C]

Some. Sometimes it's meant. Sometimes, you know, it's, it's.

[B]

It's hard to tell.

[C]

I mean, it's like negative reinforcement or whatever. Some people say it's bad. I, I wouldn't even call it abuse. I would more just call it sort of yelling and occasional violence.

[A]

Right. Okay. So, like, so if I were to be like, what job do I have when I go to one of these parties? I'm a waiter.

[B]

You're a little long.

[C]

I don't know that I'd put you front of house, honestly. I think I would probably get you started on prawns and, you know, some of the bigger crustaceans.

[A]

I don't get to be front of house, you know?

[C]

Yeah, I don't. I'm just shuck looking at you. I would.

[A]

Because I'm too long.

[C]

Yeah, you're too long.

[A]

Okay, all right, all right, I'll do it.

[C]

No, you got a good body for it. You got to. But you. I. I like to get people who are shaped, you know, like a shrimp or langostino or something. I like to put them on the.

[A]

Oh, oh. Shaped like a shrimp. That's.

[C]

Yeah, like curled up. And you're so long. I bet you curl up, you know, on a Delta 1 flight. I bet you just curl up, up.

[A]

You know what I mean? Oh, okay. I guess I know what you mean. So I'm shucking prawns.

[B]

I do know what you're talking about. I remember now the night that I was there.

[C]

Yeah, you were there.

[B]

Everybody was sorted by body type, sort of.

[C]

Yeah, sort of by body type and what the animal they they look the most, like. Tend to be. You know, how. You know?

[A]

So say I'm shucking these prawns, and then I make a mistake. Is that when you would yell at me?

[C]

You're a piece of. Are you ugly?

[A]

Ugly.

[C]

Your family's the wrong religion again.

[B]

Half of it is true and half of it.

[A]

Which half is true?

[C]

Your feet are too big.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

One foot's bigger than the other. That's weird. That's bad.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

My family being the wrong. How can you ascertain what's the right religion, you know? Yeah.

[C]

You look at somebody, you go, you guys should be Catholic.

[A]

Oh, okay, okay. You mean it depends on each person. You don't. You don't know the right religion.

[C]

I mean, the insult would be different. I mean, those are just insults for you. I could insult Bob. Know Completely different.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Do it. Do it to Bob. If you don't mind.

[B]

I remember I was slow.

[C]

You were slow.

[B]

Slowly. I wasn't sure what I was doing.

[A]

What was your job? What was your body type? What animal do you look like?

[B]

Well, I have a kind of a long torso.

[C]

Oxtails.

[A]

Oxtails.

[B]

He put me right on oxtails. And you could see. I could.

[A]

This doesn't seem efficient to have one person just doing one ingredient.

[C]

Well, it's a really good agree. I mean, that's a. That's a chef cut. I mean, you know, a bad butcher would throw that away. As a chef, I look at the oxtail, I go, right.

[A]

Oh, I don't mean to get in your business, but. So what were you saying to Bob here?

[B]

So I was working with the oxtails, and I had to.

[C]

It was like a Caribbean thing. We were sort of doing like a Caribbean slider.

[A]

Like a jerk.

[B]

I did put the jerk flavoring on them. You know, spices and the oils, and I had to marinate them. I had to double check, constantly checking the time.

[C]

We were there, like nine hours while we were marinating.

[B]

Had to put him in the oven. Off the oven. In the fridge. Yeah, off the. Out. I mean, it was.

[A]

There's a lot of work and you were doing important.

[B]

He had me take the oxtails home. He said, take them home.

[A]

You had to come back the next day with.

[B]

No, no, no. Same day. Get in the car, take them home. Put him in the front room, you know, whatever. Get an errand. Do an errand.

[C]

Yeah. Do you have a rumpus room? You have, like, some kind of bonus room somewhere? You keep all your collectibles. You keep stupid.

[B]

Because I.

[A]

Action figures and Action figures.

[B]

And then I will call you, he said, and then be back here.

[A]

Yeah, fast.

[C]

I need you back here.

[A]

Yeah. And so he wasn't doing this. Right. And so how would you.

[C]

He was a little. So he says. He said he got caught in traffic. And I said, you're cooking with Bobby Flay. What do you mean, traffic? You get out of the car, you walk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or take. Take an ambulance.

[C]

Take an ambulance. Take.

[A]

Rent an ambulance if you're gonna be working with Scott.

[B]

I got the full treatment. And I loved. I got yelled at, I got kicked, I got thrown.

[C]

Everybody there loved it. They thought it was so funny.

[B]

The grease. What about the grease pit? Tell them about the grease pit.

[C]

Well, you know, the grease pit. It's not really so much a grease pit as sort of like. I don't know, it's like a speakeasy kind of thing. It was called the grease pit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it was. Why you go. Like.

[C]

The floor was very exceptionally sticky. So it's a room in the. We could never get that floor cleaned well enough of.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

But I turned it into kind of a speakeasy. Just sort of like hang out with some of the celebrities that we. We would have there for some of those parties. You know, Bob was there. Jake from State Farm.

[A]

Jake from State Farm.

[C]

Wow. Nash. We had Jared. Jared from Subway. So it was, you know, it was a pretty fun little party. And you get the right people, right group of people. You know, a chef wants to bring together the right group of people.

[A]

Yeah. He wants to make magic with a bunch of family members.

[C]

A Bobby Flay party. If it's a night at the kitchen, you know, I want to. I want to find the right. Right people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. So I gotta ask, though, at what point Rapaport. You know Mike. Oh, wow.

[C]

Carson from. From Queer Eye. Carson from Down Abbey.

[A]

Oh, really? Carson from down. Mr. Carson. So at what point do people get to actually enjoy the party and the food that they are all.

[C]

Well, it's a slider style night. I mean, it's sliders. I mean, everybody loves sliders.

[B]

In the end, it's just sliders.

[A]

Just sliders, prawns, and oxtail. You do all just prep work for the next night.

[B]

Do you use the food then in your restaurants or. Because if I remember, there was a lot of prep. That was the fun part.

[C]

Everybody's doing prep.

[B]

Doja cats all day, all morning, all afternoon. And then here comes the sliders. And then. Go in the room and make your sliders. And then.

[C]

Well, I try to stagger out the. The popular proteins. You know what I mean? I mean, I wanted the oxtails. Like, the whole thing with you going home, coming back. I mean, part of that's the abuse. Part of that is like, it's 3:00am we're partying. Sean. Don. Sean John's there.

[A]

Sean John. I remember when Adrian Brody introduced him on snl.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was pretty crazy. I don't think he's. I don't think he's allowed back there. I mean, that's pretty nice.

[A]

I mean, I wouldn't know. I don't work there, so I hang.

[C]

Out with college sometimes. I hang out with Scarlett.

[A]

You hang out with Colin and Scarlett?

[C]

Yeah, I hang out with ScarJo.

[A]

Is that. Is that what people call her?

[C]

Daryl.

[A]

Daryl.

[C]

Darren Hammond.

[A]

Oh, Daryl.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Wally. Wally from Cue cards.

[A]

Wally from cue Cards. At these parties. This is amazing. So. So you just throw the food away or what do you do?

[C]

No, no, no, no, no. That's the theme of the night. The theme of the night is what. What the people would throw away. What? It's. But a chef likes it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Like chicken thighs.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Nobody wants that. But then you show us how to make it great.

[C]

How do you make chicken thigh great?

[A]

Okay, but then you make them, and then you just have to eat sliders.

[C]

Well, I mean, that's. That's all.

[A]

What happens to chicken thighs?

[C]

The chicken thigh. It's chicken sliders.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

It's a slider theme night at the Kitchen. The theme of the proteins is what a regular person would throw away. Now that a chef loves to cook.

[A]

I'm sorry. I feel like you're yelling at me, and I. I didn't sign up for one of these parties. I don't want the.

[C]

I mean, obviously you couldn't throw down with me in Kitchen Stadium. I mean, that's pretty clear.

[A]

I don't think I want to throw down with you in Kitchen Stadium or anywhere else, really.

[C]

No, you don't. You don't want to.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Honestly, you know, I'm. You look at me, you think, okay, he's an east coast guy. Southwest flavors.

[A]

I do. Look at you. I think Southwest flavors. Yeah. I don't know about the west coast attitude.

[C]

East coast anger.

[A]

Anger issues.

[B]

Yeah. East coast issues.

[C]

That's just the kind of guy I am, you know, east coast guy. South waves.

[A]

Yeah. Val Choice. You know, probably east coast casual. Yeah. Flip flops. West coast, definitely.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Like a slide.

[A]

Long socks. Definitely.

[C]

Long slocks. Adidas slide. Designer sunglasses. Big yacht. It's me It's Michael Keaton, Holly Madison for Girls Next Door.

[A]

Any of that 70 show cast members there.

[C]

Topher.

[A]

Topher.

[C]

Yeah, we had a huge party on Bezos yacht, actually, when it was stuck in Copenhagen or whatever it is.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

But did you have sliders?

[C]

No, we didn't do sliders because it was. Topher was showing us his cut of episode one, star. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Wow. I've heard.

[C]

So we actually. We were actually cooking Toydarian. That's what Watto is. Watto from episode one. He's.

[A]

He's. It's on Tatooine.

[C]

He's a pretty big character. But. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

He's kind of like a Jewish.

[C]

Like anti Semitic stereotype. Anti Armenian stereotype.

[B]

And that's what. You made the meat up.

[C]

He's a Toydarian. And so we actually secured some Toydarian Primals.

[A]

How did you get Toydarian?

[C]

We got Toydarian Primals. Celebrity chef. I have. I know how to get meat.

[A]

This is amazing.

[C]

Yeah. So it was a really special night. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, so what are you up to now, Bobby? I mean, like, do you have a new book or do you.

[C]

I have a new show coming out and I would love to throw it to it.

[A]

Throw.

[C]

Throw to the show right now.

[A]

Throw to. Oh, meaning we're gonna play some of the show. Okay. Yeah. Can we do that? Do we. I've never done clips on. Okay, yeah, whatever you need to do.

[C]

I mean, this is just sort of what I do is like we just talk in this way. Talking this way.

[B]

You know?

[C]

Okay, we're shooting Bobby B. Bobby Flay. You know, Be Bobby Flay.

[A]

Is that what the show is called?

[C]

I could do another show called Be Bobby Flay. It's actually probably a pretty good. I'll tell my assistant about that later. But okay, so beat Bobby Flay.

[A]

You know, Beat Bobby Flay.

[C]

Beat Bobby Flay.

[A]

Sorry. It's the east coast vowel choices and the consonant. You know what? You know, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to.

[C]

It would last 20 minutes in my kitchen.

[A]

Okay, so beat Bobby Flay.

[C]

Beat. Wait, if we shoot Beat Bobby Flay and they'll cut to me and I gotta explain, you know, for the Food Network. Cause you know who watches Food Network? It's the idiots.

[A]

You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. You have many shows there, though.

[C]

If I start a red sauce, you know, I'm gonna have to do a cutaway and explain what the hell. A red sauce.

[A]

Sauces what is a red sauce? I guess I don't even know. It's like a sauce that's red.

[C]

It's got tomatoes.

[B]

It's a tomato based sauce.

[C]

Tomato based sauce.

[B]

So sorry.

[C]

It's okay.

[A]

I apologize.

[B]

Trying your best, Bobby. And I just think you, you reach out and over and over again to.

[C]

Everyone, but people just don't know food.

[B]

They just let you down.

[A]

I mean, I, I just suddenly felt very intimidated by you that I didn't know what a red sauce was.

[B]

I assumed it was. Yeah, a lot. Well, sure, all the time.

[C]

No, I got cats. I got a adult daughter. Cass. Adult daughter. Southwest flavors.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

East Coast.

[C]

East coast attitude. West coast guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, so I, I, there's elements of my life that I really enjoy, and then there's stuff that, I mean, Bob, people don't change.

[B]

It's rough stuff. Yeah.

[C]

People change, but people don't change, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Well, we try to get real on the show. And thank you, Bob, for asking the real questions. And that's.

[C]

I wanted to throw to a show.

[B]

He's excited about the food. Yeah. And I love that.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

I can tell. It's just covering up for real, a.

[A]

Real emptiness to really see the sadness behind your eyes, you know?

[C]

I mean, you know, this kind of feeling is great for, like a cutaway. If I have to explain what a gravy is or whatever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What?

[C]

But you really got to turn it up. If you, if you're throwing to another package on Food Network, it is a great gravy.

[A]

I mean, I've had gravy. But what, what?

[C]

It's, you know, it's, it's like, what? It's fats suspended in a, in a.

[A]

In a liquid because they're flour.

[C]

Like an emoji is thicker than emulsion. Typically involves some sort of slurry. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, I know I, I would know it if I ate it, but I wouldn't know how to make it.

[B]

You go to a restaurant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Say, I would like some emulsion with some slurry on top of my meat.

[C]

Yeah. See what that gets you?

[A]

And they'll probably, if you're in one.

[B]

Of Bobby's restaurants, you'll get some gravy.

[C]

You'll get gravy.

[B]

You go somewhere else. I don't know.

[A]

I can't, I can't vouch for it. Well, that's great. So Beat Bobby Flay is the show.

[C]

Beat Bobby Flay's the show. And, and I gotta explain this, this stuff we've been doing the cutaways. You know, the talking head. I hate that part. That's not what I'm about.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I want a big cue card.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I want a big jib shot. And I want to scream my head off into that camera as it pulls away over the crowd.

[A]

Right. So give us an example of this.

[C]

Oh, that would be like, you know, that's it. Now stay tuned for my epic Thanksgiving Donkey Punch and bake fest for fat losers and drunk moms in partnership with Ice Age 28, death, the caveman. Let's kill all the humans so that we can stay alive for many more films of this franchise.

[A]

That was. That was perfect. I mean, yeah, that's what you want out of a Bobby Flay.

[C]

That's really what the job's about.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Food is. Food is my passion.

[A]

But doing these throws, the throws are.

[C]

Sort of the job. You know, that's the. That's what you get paid for. You're not getting paid to cook. I mean, I don't get paid.

[A]

You would cook for free. But these throws.

[B]

I think most people don't pay attention when you're cooking. It's the throws that they watch. They sit up.

[C]

Most of the audience is there for Be Bobby Flav. They're there for the throws. They want to see throws.

[A]

Right? Yeah. Do you have any more?

[C]

I mean, I mean, you know, I could do something like. And it's just like, on top of my head.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

So, like, that's it. Now stay tuned for my epic Miami beach party boat breakdown for shrimp dicks and smoking hot Christians. Brought to you by Return of the Croods. Let's eat all the dinosaurs. Cause the Croods ran out of salad. And it's Dino chomping time.

[A]

Wow. Off the dome. That is incredible.

[C]

I mean, you know, we do a lot of cross promotional stuff with the kids stuff. You know, there's a lot of parents that watch. You know, parents that watch Magnolia Network or the TLC family networks.

[A]

Yeah. That was great.

[B]

I mean, it's exciting to hear that. And I want to watch this.

[C]

I mean, I would have spread the word. I love spread the word about food.

[B]

I love spreading word about the show called Bobby Flay. I mean, I've. That's been on for years. Is there anything new? A new show or.

[C]

I mean, you know, we were talking with sh.

[B]

That just throws.

[A]

Just throws, throws, throws. Let me throw.

[C]

Throw Bobby Flay.

[A]

Throw. Yeah. Throw Bobby Flay from the train.

[C]

Throw Bobby. Flavor of the train.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We could do that and it's in the mama verse.

[B]

Train. Have to do that.

[A]

Well, throw mama from the train. Billy crystal and Danny DeVito. The twisted mind of Danny DeVito. Come on, put it in the mama verse.

[C]

Danny's a good friend. I had all the sunny crew, you know, we. We were chopping it up a couple weeks ago. Had a big like make your own salads line. That was fun.

[A]

Everything. Make your own.

[C]

You gotta feel a lot of people. I mean the catering, the, the. The quality could go south so fast. So you gotta bring the people.

[A]

Never mind. Well, do you have any more throws? Because you're right, Bob, I would, I would watch. Just throws. Yeah. Do you have any more. Can you do anything else here or. I mean.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, there's. You know, I was thinking about one that was like, kind of like, you know, one I was, you know, thinking about. I mean, if you want to hear it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I was kind of thinking, don't be bashful here. Yeah, I'd love to hear it.

[C]

All right. Something like a. That's it. Now stay tuned for my epic Ensenada enchilada eleganza for rude boys, gassy queens and adjunct statistics professors. Featuring a clumsily integrated co marketing strategy with Lucas, the movie that's not Pixar but still Disney. About the boy who became a monster and made a friend in the evil world that caused certain issues in the regular world. Rated NC17.

[A]

I didn't realize. I watched Luca. I didn't realize it was rated that. That's amazing. Yeah. I would watch the show, Bob.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

We want to attach as executive producers.

[B]

But do that and go to commercial.

[A]

Do you go to commercial? Yeah.

[C]

I mean, you might be interested in this one. We've been talking about, you know, something that. Incorporating that whole thing, you know, the. The kids animation thing, you know, how do we get the kids hooked in and like cooking? So this was new show. I'm thinking about how to cook a minion.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, I love that.

[C]

Yeah, we basically. We talk about.

[A]

Minions are cute.

[C]

Yeah. We talk about sort of. I mean, that. Yeah, that. That's a barrier definitely. But you know how to break one down? You know, break. Break a minion down in 20 minutes.

[A]

Right. Do they come dead?

[C]

No, we get the whole minion.

[A]

Oh, do you have to kill the minion before you break it down?

[C]

Yeah. Malfi Vegas, my restaurant. Malfi. We get the full minion.

[A]

The full minion.

[C]

We get about five a week.

[A]

Yeah. Are the eyes like. Do those taste good?

[C]

I mean, I find the eyes to be a little rubbery.

[A]

Sometimes they only have one.

[C]

Sometimes they only. Yeah, that's the other thing is it's pretty inconsistent, actually, which menu you're gonna get. That's. That's gonna affect cook times. It's gonna affect, you know, the size of the skillet.

[A]

Are they all wearing blue shorts or.

[C]

You get them completely new before you break it down?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wait, before you kill the minion, do.

[B]

You get it nude, take a long.

[A]

Time, or do you kill. Do you kill it and then strip it?

[C]

I mean, if we do.

[A]

We have a lot of questions.

[C]

If we're doing like a big, like, Sunday night dinner, like, Filipino style, whole.

[A]

Minion, where we have to make our own minion.

[C]

No.

[A]

No guessing.

[C]

Sort of like. I mean. Yeah. I mean, once we get, you know, sort of whole hog. If you have. If you do like a whole hog, Filipino barbecue of thing, we do that with a whole minion. And. Yeah, you might have to get in there with, I don't know, bone saw some shears. H. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rough stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Grizzly.

[B]

Tastes good.

[A]

Tastes really good. I've never had many.

[C]

I think it's delicious.

[A]

They're funny and it's funny how great they taste, I bet.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do they. Do they make a noise as they go down?

[A]

As do they taste like banana?

[C]

I mean, they're kind of squeaky. Like a Harry. Harry King that's not, you know, totally cooked. You know, they kind of squeak against you. Almonds. You know, almonds kind of squeaky. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Almonds are squeaky.

[C]

Yeah. You eat a lot of raw almonds. They kind of squeak against you.

[A]

Yeah, they squeak. I guess I've never noticed.

[C]

So I think a minion. I've had a couple minion dinners that like.

[B]

Shark.

[C]

Yeah, it's fatty. It's definitely fatty.

[A]

Yeah, they look fat to me. Like, they don't look muscular.

[C]

There's a lot of fat.

[A]

But they seem almost all fat that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

To me, like, they have no muscle definition.

[B]

What's the marinade?

[C]

I mean, obviously, east coast guy, Southwest flavors. I'm gonna go with something that's a little bit more in, like that lime, cilantro, red onion sort of ceviche direction.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Is that every single dish you put out tastes just like that?

[B]

No.

[C]

I mean, sometimes I'll do a mole. Do a. I'm sorry.

[A]

Sometimes you do a mole sort of like. Yeah.

[C]

Roasted red peppers. This is Spanish style sauce.

[A]

Well, this is great. Look, Bobby, we're coming up on another break. Satay but do you have another. Do you have another throw that you could do, or are we going to the well once too often?

[C]

I mean, I think people are probably tired of it by now. I don't think people want to see it.

[B]

Throw us to commercial show.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I mean, you know, it'll probably be something like, oh, you know what? This would be fun to do.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

This is great. So, like, say that, like, you and I were on BE Bobby Flay together.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And obviously, I beat you at your signature dish. What's your signature dish?

[A]

Tacos, maybe, you know, just tacos. West coast guy. Southwest flavors.

[C]

Just tacos. Stock them in. Tacos.

[A]

Well, I don't. I mean, you know, you make the meat and you put cheese on.

[C]

What meat? What meat? I mean, tell me, what are these tacos?

[A]

It's like beef or chicken or something. Ground beef.

[C]

Bob, help me out. What's your signature dish?

[B]

Oh, tuna salad.

[C]

Tuna salad?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why is that better than tacos?

[C]

Tuna melts.

[B]

Tuna melt battle.

[A]

Tuna melts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

All right, well, it would be something like this, like, if I just beat you, you know, the jibs flying away. We gotta go. Yeah, I'll probably, like, look up at the camera and be like, well, it was. Well, two. Tonight was tuna met. I melted tonight. You can sit it. Consider tonight melted. I melted the competition.

[B]

And then it would be tied into.

[A]

A movie, tied into some sort of new child's child's film.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, like, oh, see Sesame Street Live.

[C]

Yeah, that kind of. Yeah. So some.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't.

[A]

Turning red or turning red.

[C]

Why didn't I get a fucking call about turning red?

[B]

I.

[A]

Why? I don't know. I mean, I want to be in the period movie.

[C]

Why can't I be in the period movie?

[A]

It's not. It's not. Well, I mean, it is about a young woman growing up, but that's.

[C]

Of course, it's.

[A]

She turns into a. I mean, it's a metaphor for getting your period. Yes, you're right.

[C]

I thought it was a period movie. Like. Like a period nightly and like Little.

[A]

Women starring Bob Odenkirk.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. You were great in that, by the way.

[A]

Gets rounds of applause when he. When he enters the scene.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You and you and Barbie Exhaust.

[C]

No, you're not doing Barbie.

[B]

I wish I was. I would like to tell the story of the dollar and how it came.

[A]

Bob, you ever see that video of your entrance in Little Women and they put the audience from Avengers Endgame clapping onto it?

[B]

No, I haven't seen that.

[A]

It's very funny. Well, throw. So was that your throw?

[C]

Yeah, I'll throw it for you.

[A]

Yeah, throw. Here we go.

[C]

That's it. Now stay tuned for more of my Kitchen Stadium with Comedy Bang Bang here in beautiful Sunset Area Boulevard. And don't forget to check out Turning Red, the beautiful movie about a little girl girl who becomes a red panda at different times that are related to her vaginal development. That's it.

[A]

All right. That is it. All right. We need to take a break. Boy, when we come back, we have a lawyer. Bobby, can you stick around? I'd love to have you.

[C]

Yeah, you know, stick around. And I actually got a. I think I brought a hot plate.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

You guys were interested in competing against you or in just, you know, like.

[C]

I was just thinking like a Bananas Foster or something like that.

[A]

Bananas Minions.

[C]

What do you have have in the break room? I was gonna see what you had.

[A]

In the break room. Probably just chips, but yeah, if you have anything.

[C]

Minion. Yeah, I couldn't get you a minion. I. I could. I could try. I could make some calls.

[A]

Well, we're gonna be right back. We will have more Bobby Flay, more Bobby Odenkirk. This is a battle of the Bobs right here. You can use that in one of your throws. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

[E]

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[B]

All online.

[A]

False.

[C]

True.

[B]

Actually, you can sell your car in minutes. False. That's gotta be true again.

[A]

Carvana will pick up your car from your door or you can drop it off at one of their car vending machines.

[E]

Sounds too good to be true.

[B]

So true. Finally caught on.

[A]

Nice job. Honesty isn't just their policy. It's their entire model. Sell your car today too.

[C]

Carvana.

[A]

Pickup fees may apply. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Bob Odenkirk of Cowbell Sal, blah blah blah is here. Two more eps and then he disappear.

[B]

That's enough of that.

[A]

Then you just do. You fade away like in Back to the future, like Marty McFly on that picture? Or do you, like, float up to heaven like Jesus did after he hung around after he came back to life, or. What do you do?

[B]

I just. I actually will. My image will burn onto the screen. Whatever screen is has it on.

[A]

Really.

[B]

That will be there forever. Wow.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If you watch the final moments, it's a new technology. It's wonderful.

[A]

It's just seared into the screen.

[B]

It'll. You'll smell. Smell something burning.

[A]

Oh, okay. Like. Like a cow being branded almost, or.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. If it's a meaty smell, it's a smell like oil burning. Oh, TV set. It'll be ruined.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

Okay. You know, I mean, new technology. You'll see my face then forever as the character.

[A]

If you're watching the Price Is Right.

[B]

Or waving my finger like, yeah, gotcha.

[A]

To watch, we have to teach you who D. Mutumbo is by the end of this episode.

[B]

I mean, I know his name. I didn't know.

[A]

Of course you know his name.

[B]

Wagging thing.

[A]

Yeah, you got. Well, I'll send you a meme or two. We also have Bobby Flay here.

[C]

I party with D. Mutombo recently. He's a great guy.

[A]

Yeah. Really? Did he do the finger thing at you?

[C]

He did the figure. Everybody's trying to make him do the finger thing. Me as Kinta Maa. I had, you know, Josh, the wine.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

Yeah, Josh Gad. And we had Josh the wine. You know the guy?

[A]

Any of the Winans?

[C]

Yeah, I had BB And CC Winans.

[A]

Great.

[C]

Close friends, you know.

[A]

What about Didi? What about ee? How about Fifi? Gigi?

[C]

Gigi. I mean, Gigi Hadid was there.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Vin Scully. It was a crazy party.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Crazy party.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Great crew. What a crew.

[C]

Yeah, that was. That was like a paella. Big paella night.

[A]

Make your own paella.

[C]

Silk, a rod and.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, well, we have to get to our next guest. He's a lawyer. He's been on this show several times, and it's very exciting to have him here. Especially with a fake lawyer right here. But please welcome back to the show Italiano Jones.

[D]

Scott, what's the matter? What's wrong? I came as quick as I could. Have you been injured?

[A]

No, no.

[D]

I will fight for you. Scott, what is wrong? Let me touch you.

[A]

Let me touch you. I feel like you're gonna injure me.

[D]

Do you have injuries? No, I've been lifting weights. Am I strong?

[A]

You're incredibly strong.

[D]

Give me your arm.

[A]

Here you go. Does that hurt? God damn, yes, Italiano.

[D]

Yes, I have been lifting weights.

[C]

States.

[A]

You're the one who's hurting me. Hi, this is Bob Odenkirk.

[D]

Hello, Bob Odenkirk.

[B]

It's great to meet you.

[A]

Bobby Flay.

[C]

Hello, Bobby Flayano.

[A]

Have two Bobs here. But Italiano is a. You're a personal injury lawyer, is that.

[D]

A personal injury lawyer and attorney at law. And I appreciate if anybody is ever injured personally that you please call me and let me know, would you, what has injured you. And I will fight for you.

[A]

Where. Where do people call you?

[B]

You do illegal cases or do you just fight.

[D]

Fight legal and illegal cases? I fight for everybody. Nobody is discriminated against in my court of law.

[A]

Bobby, have you ever had. Had a lawsuit against you?

[C]

I mean, I. I've thought periodically about suing this ratty ass sous vide machine that I had.

[D]

Please.

[A]

A sous vide machine? What happened?

[D]

Tell me more.

[C]

It burned the hell out of my thumb. I was.

[D]

Oh, the water gets too hot.

[C]

What were you making?

[D]

Were you sous videna steak?

[C]

I was sous vide. Is this like herb chicken kind of thing?

[D]

You put an herb chicken in a sous vide? I've never heard of such a thing.

[C]

Well, it's just going into some enchiladas.

[A]

It's southwest flavors.

[C]

Yeah, Southwest flavors.

[D]

You do have a southwest flavor with a. With a west coast instinct. I. Let me ask you this. Bobby Flay.

[C]

Yeah, sure. What?

[D]

Bobby Flay. I am looking to. Do you make Italian food?

[C]

Well, yeah, I love Italian food. I love mostly Tuscan. You know, the Tuscan game. Ah, Tuscany game meats.

[D]

Tuscany game meat.

[C]

Or I do a boar. Ah, boy, we did a boar at a bar Mirror American for many years, yeah.

[D]

Ah, bar American. That's Italian. Hey, you know, I have. I wanted to tell you about my TV show, Scott.

[A]

Oh, you have a TV show too? I have a TV show because both of these. I mean, Bob, unfortunately, is not going to have a TV show anymore.

[D]

Oh, Bob, you had a TV show?

[B]

Well, I did. It's going Away very soon.

[A]

Oh, this is going to be the worst time of your life. Not having a TV show.

[B]

I don't know who I'll be. I don't know what I'll do.

[D]

I tell you, my TV show.

[A]

Yeah, what's your TV show?

[D]

Better Call Italy Is the case where somebody is trying to find a calling card to call it Italy?

[A]

Just. Just like a phone card? A prepaid phone card. Yes.

[D]

And they are going a bunch of places, but the code that they scratch off the back never works.

[A]

Oh, no. This sounds like a bad dream, actually, that you had.

[C]

So is people walking around Target.

[D]

People walking around Target. People walking around Walmart. People are walking around Esco In. In London.

[A]

This. I. I mean, this sounds like a bad dream you had one night, not an accident.

[D]

It came to me in the dream.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I was dreaming about attorneying at law, and then this popped up. And I said, what would happen if I was stuck in a place like this, for example, located right here on Sunny Sunset, in the Sunset area.

[A]

In.

[D]

The Sunset Boulevard area. And I was wondering, what if I got stuck here and I could not call my mom back in Italy?

[A]

Yeah. How's she doing, by the way? What was her name again?

[D]

She's very bad.

[A]

Well, then what are you doing here?

[D]

I came for you, Scott. I love you just as much as I love my mother.

[A]

All I did was text you, do you want to be on the show this year?

[D]

And I was. I said, that's a sign of distress. That is a fake text. I need to go.

[A]

Okay, well, you're here now. There's nothing wrong with me. I just wanted to have you on the show to talk to you. I haven't talked to you in a while.

[D]

I guess I can breathe again.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I mean, have you had any interesting cases?

[D]

Oh, my gosh, I've had so many interesting cases, Scott, as you know, as you have felt.

[A]

Give me an arm. Okay. God, you're doing it again.

[D]

I am very strong. I'm not the tallest and strongest man in Italy.

[A]

Yes. Oh, that's right. You're the tallest man in Italy. How tall are you?

[D]

Six foot five.

[A]

There are short people there. I was just there. I looked around for anyone above 6, 5.

[D]

No one didn't see them because I was here looking for you. Now, the most recent case I have had, this one is very in depth. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

You ready?

[A]

Yeah. Ready?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Somebody walked into a building.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And they walked into the building. And the glass from the building, they didn't open the door. And they walked right into the glass.

[A]

Through the glass? Yes.

[D]

It broke through.

[B]

It.

[D]

It broke completely.

[A]

Oh, no.

[D]

Cutting them to shreds. Shreds.

[A]

Cutting them to shreds. Yes. So they lie in shreds.

[D]

They lie in shreds. And I had to put them back together in the court of law.

[A]

What?

[D]

Right in the middle of the court, I had to put them back together. It was so much glue. And Italian glue does not stick well.

[A]

Really? Italian glue is really.

[D]

It's really bad. It's just marinara sauce.

[C]

It's delicious.

[A]

But is that a red sauce?

[C]

It doesn't work. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had Italian glue before. It's gonna be. Some people call it gravy, some people call it red sauce, but in Italy, they call it glue. I learned that last year.

[A]

Interesting.

[D]

Yeah, he is right.

[A]

The things, you know, when you're a celebrity chef. Yeah, I.

[C]

Opens a lot of doors.

[A]

Yeah, I bet.

[D]

I would love to come to one of your parties.

[C]

Yeah, I could. I could. I. You know, I could have you at a party. I don't know, like, it kind of people that. I mean, who do you like to. Who do you. Who do you party with?

[D]

All the Italian celebrities.

[A]

Yeah. Like who. Who do we got there?

[D]

Joni Mitchell.

[C]

Yeah, okay. Joni.

[D]

The Roaches.

[C]

The Roaches? Yeah. I mean, I feel like you're describing more like a lore Laurel Canyon kind of like Jace Taylor Heim, you know, that kind of thing.

[D]

Yes, the Roaches and Han, they are older and younger version of each other. Like an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

[C]

That's right. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I party with Heim.

[A]

You party with Heim?

[C]

Yeah, I party with Heim.

[A]

Danny Masterson. You ever party with them?

[C]

No. You know, I used to do a Scientology. Scientology parties. It's just. I mean, those people love the hiatus. A cover band. They play Get Lucky all Night. And I'm like, guys, it's fun to pretend to be on a boat and everything. I'd rather be on a real boat. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[D]

We have Scientology in Italy.

[A]

You do?

[D]

It is called Discovery Zone, or DZ for short. The children go there to play.

[A]

I didn't know that. Is that a real fact?

[D]

Everything I say is a real fact.

[A]

I know that.

[D]

I have to. I swear on a stack of bibles.

[A]

Well, look, this is gonna lose his.

[D]

License if I lie.

[A]

Speaking of which, Bob, you know your stuff when it comes to. To lawyers?

[B]

I did a TV lawyer. This is a real lawyer.

[A]

Yeah, but I mean, I was playing.

[B]

A lawyer, and if you were to watch my show. You'd probably laugh.

[A]

I would love to see, though.

[B]

That's not how it is.

[A]

I would love to see you guys compete against each other for a case or something. Like, say, Bobby, you have a case, right?

[B]

You mean me in character?

[A]

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Well, yeah. Cowbell S. He was on the show once before. I don't know if you remember, but he came on. Do you remember that?

[B]

Yeah, vaguely. I do. Of course.

[A]

So, I mean, mean, you in character would be.

[B]

I don't have all of the shows cataloged, but every week I do try to listen to every.

[A]

You edit the Wiki, though. A lot of people don't know that Bob is in charge of the company, but. Yeah. So you said.

[C]

I got a. I got a case. Maybe. Maybe Cowbell Sal and. And Jesse cook the wrong.

[B]

Put myself in character.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here we go.

[C]

So you and Jesse and you made bad masks, and then. And then I'm there.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And, you know, it's. It's like you definitely do it. Something. I mean, I probably would start off. If I'm looking at it, I'd probably start off thinking, like, in a chili. Relational direction. Right.

[A]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, of course.

[C]

So, you know, say it's the case of the chile relleno. And. And then.

[A]

And Jesse and Walter are helping Don Draper.

[C]

Everybody's just sort of.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, they. They're about big. Big's in. And, you know, it's chili rellenos. I mean, it's like the breading definitely, you know, like maybe a little soda water or something like that. Keep it light, fresh on the outside. That inside gets really hot.

[A]

Sure. What's the case, though? What are you.

[C]

You're just describing bites into. It burns his mouth. And they want to sue me. It was sue me.

[A]

Right?

[B]

How do I defend you?

[C]

And I'm keeping quiet because I'm not supposed to talk during this portion of the trial.

[B]

I told him, don't say a thing. Shut your mouth.

[D]

You have been injured eating a very hot chili relleno. Bonjour, ladies and gentlemen of the court, I am from Italy. Bonjour. I need everybody to know that my client here has a hot mouth and a big pussy.

[B]

Can I represent Mr. Flay, who's an expert chef, and he could do a throw like no one's business. And that's it.

[C]

Now, stick.

[B]

You could show the court your throw, if it please the court.

[C]

I mean, if everybody wants to see it. I mean, if everybody pleased.

[B]

I'd like to. I'd like him to show us.

[C]

He told me not to talk.

[B]

Show us a throw, please.

[C]

Me. All right, that's it. Now stay tuned for the rest of this hearing. Brought to you by Turning red.

[D]

That was so loud. I. I have an issue. I have an issue. Judge. Who is the judge?

[A]

Who is the judge?

[D]

Here come the judge.

[A]

Oh, Judge Ito is here.

[D]

Judge Ito is.

[A]

Oh, wait, no, maybe none of us want to do.

[D]

He wants to pronounce it. Leto.

[A]

Judge Leto. Judge Leto.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, it's Jared Leto doing research for a role. Oh, my God. This is incredible. Hey, I'll allow it.

[D]

First of all, Judge Jared Leto. Why are you in yellow Face?

[A]

Because I just washed off my joker makeup, and this was what was underneath.

[D]

Understood, Judge. Bonjour. First of all, I'm from Italy. My name is Italiano Jones. I'm the tallest lawyer in Italy and the tallest man and strongest man. Throw me something. Throw something off the court.

[A]

There you go.

[D]

Ah, see, I caught it. Now, my just a beanbag. But most weak people cannot catch things. All right, listen here, judge. My client, Big Pussy, has burned his mouth on this man's chili relino, and I think he was trying to kill him.

[A]

Him. Is this true?

[C]

No, I. I trying to kill him.

[B]

On behalf of Mr. Flay. I'm his lawyer.

[A]

Who are you, sir?

[B]

I'm Cowbell s. Cowbell cell.

[A]

I've heard about you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Have you seen my commercials? The big cowbell, the big.

[A]

With the.

[B]

The world's biggest ring a ding ding. I'm in your corner.

[A]

I have seen those. It's an honor to. To preside in front of you.

[B]

All right? I'm the lawyer. You're the judge, but.

[A]

I know, but.

[B]

All right, if you want to be.

[A]

Honored by my presence. I mean, usually they call me. Your honor. Listen, but I'm the one who's honored.

[B]

Now, when I. When a chef like Mr. Flay makes his food, he's got other things on his mind. He's got throws coming up. He's got other food coming up. There's multiple courses, Chili Berlino, the dessert, different gravies.

[C]

Sing three.

[A]

Is there gonna be a sing three?

[C]

Sing three.

[A]

I knew there was a sing two.

[B]

His job is to serve the food as hot as can be so that as time goes by, it remains warm so they can be eaten for the next few minutes or even up to an hour or two. Right? Isn't that what you say? Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I would. I wouldn't eat my chili after two hours, and it's not really.

[B]

Yeah, but at an hour 50. At hour 59, it's still warm. And that's the key.

[C]

I mean, you know, when you fry it, it does lose a lot pretty quickly.

[B]

You should shut up. I told you before, you shouldn't talk to her.

[D]

Open a chat. Cake case.

[B]

No, shut. Reopen the case. I'm reopening an honor to be judge.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, yeah. They get really hot. They stay hot for a long time.

[B]

Judge Leto.

[A]

Lido.

[B]

If you don't mind, I'd pronounce your name properly.

[A]

It's an honor to be in front of you.

[B]

So, Judge Leto, Mr. Flay made the food as hot as he could. When you enter his restaurant, there is a sign. It says, no shoes, no shirt, no service. Food served hot. Really piping hot. It's written in Italian restaurant that my. This big pussy fellow went to. It's called Piper's. Piper's Hot Restaurant.

[A]

Is this true, Italiano Jones?

[B]

It is one of many. Many restaurants. I don't know how many clues he needed to be given that the food would be served hot. There are signs everywhere. There is the fume symbol of. Of heat rising from a item. It's a cartoon symbol of.

[A]

Is it like one of those ones.

[B]

You see at the airport where there's, like, fireworks and. And that is everywhere, Mr. Flint.

[A]

Those be construed, though, Cowbell Sal, as stink lines.

[B]

Like, no one. No one can be sued for being construed.

[D]

Oh, my gosh, that case.

[A]

Why do you keep saying that? You're supposed to be representing this man.

[D]

My client thought the food was farting.

[A]

Oh, they were stink lines.

[D]

We thought they were stink lines. And we thought the name Piper's came from the location. It was at Piper's Alley in Chicago. And that's what we thought that was going on.

[B]

It's just one location among many. It's just by pure coincidence that it was in Piper's Alley.

[A]

Can we sidebar with me? With the lawyers? Yes, all of us. Bobby, get over here.

[B]

Sit down, talk.

[C]

Yeah, I'll sit over here.

[B]

No throws.

[C]

I. I wasn't planning on no throws.

[B]

What do you have to say, Judge, what do you have to say?

[A]

This guy, Bobby Flay.

[B]

Yes. He's.

[A]

He's obviously an east coast guy with south coast flavors.

[B]

Southwest flavors, I'll grant you that.

[C]

East coast guy. Southwest flavors. West coast attitude.

[A]

Attitude.

[C]

Sorry, sorry.

[A]

He's obviously an east coast guy. Southwest flavors. West Coast.

[C]

Sorry, did you say salad bar?

[A]

Salad bar. Attitude.

[C]

Is this a sidebar or a salad bar?

[A]

Sorry, this is a side.

[B]

Do me a favor, Bobby. Zip it.

[C]

And I thought he said salad bars.

[A]

Did you bring anything?

[B]

Just zip it and keep it quiet.

[D]

Open the chat case.

[A]

Look, what are we doing, guys?

[B]

What. What is your.

[A]

This is. There's this. This guy obviously doesn't have a case.

[B]

Who?

[D]

Big?

[A]

Neither of them. You know what I mean.

[B]

Okay, we're not suing anyone. We were sued and that's why we're here.

[A]

Well, you don't have a case. He doesn't have a case.

[B]

We're not here. We don't want a case.

[A]

What are we doing here?

[B]

We don't want a case.

[A]

Let's go back to my place and party is what I'm trying to say.

[B]

Would it be okay? Hold on a second. If you. Would you make your own sliders? That's what I have to ask Mr. Flay because he does the only kind of party he does.

[C]

I do a lot of party.

[B]

Would you do the prep work?

[A]

Can we watch Suicide Squad at the party?

[B]

You'd have to count me out.

[D]

Count me out.

[A]

Okay, then I. I rule in favor of Bobby Flay. Wow.

[D]

Because I don't want to watch that movie. I'll watch something else. I love House of Gucci.

[A]

Oh, the Gucci. You like a House of Gucci?

[D]

I love House of Gucci. It reminds me of home. Especially you and Lady Gaga.

[A]

Okay, well, I rule. And I. I rule in favor of you, then. Okay, I take. I'm taking back my rules. Ruling in favor of big pictures.

[B]

I'm sorry, we're going to have to take the hit on this one. You'll have to do a few more throws and you'll make the money in no time. And who cares?

[C]

That's it for the case of the Chile Reno. Bobby Flay lost. Now stay tuned for Suicide Squad, starring Harley Quinn and the boy with the words written on his forehead. Rated PG 13.

[A]

Amazing. Wow. See? Italiano. I mean, you won the case.

[D]

Thank you so much. I told you, I'm the best lawyer.

[B]

Here's the crazy thing. He won it by being agreeable.

[A]

Yeah. By just saying he liked House of Guten, which no one likes. Did you actually. Were you lying?

[D]

I love hasaguchi. It reminds me of home. It's just like Mama used to make.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Incredible. Well, guys, this is. I mean, my mama made films. Oh, you're. Oh, I thought you meant the food.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Or the clothes.

[D]

My mama made. My mama.

[A]

What did she do?

[D]

Just like Mama used to make. My mama is Martin Scorsese's mama as well.

[A]

What?

[D]

That's my brother.

[A]

She's in Goodfellas.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, guys, look, we're running out of time. Italiano. It's great to have you here.

[D]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

But we're. We only have one time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called Plugs. I love my mommy and I love my dad.

[D]

And I sure hope that they won't be too mad.

[C]

Cause I made a stinky boom boom.

[D]

Right in my pants.

[A]

And since I'm 30 and not a.

[C]

Baby, it's extremely sad.

[A]

And I hope there's baby wipes inside of the plug bag. Oh, well, that was charming. That was Baby Made a Boom Boom by Ferg Burger. Thank you so much to Ferg Burger for that wonderful Plugs theme submission. What'd you think of that, Bob?

[B]

People have a lot of free time.

[A]

Bob, what do you want to plug? Obviously, you have some. Oh, your books, too. Want to talk about your book?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Let's talk about my memoir. Comedy, Comedy, Comedy, Drama. If you want to hear all about the obscure comedy of the last 30 years, I can tell you about some of it.

[A]

That's fantastic. I've heard it's very good. I've not read it yet.

[B]

Oh, I wish I brought a copy for you.

[A]

I wish you had two.

[C]

I mean, for the book release, we did the part party and. And.

[B]

Oh, you did the courses.

[C]

The courses were done in the same way. Kami, Kami, Kami. In the drama.

[A]

Also, it was funny food for.

[C]

Yeah, it was funny. It was like, you know, like the grapes from. When you go to a haunted house. Somebody's haunted house.

[A]

You know, the grapes that Lucy was.

[C]

Stomping, that feel like eyeballs or whatever.

[A]

Right. Banana peels.

[C]

And then. Yeah, like some of this, like, inedible, you know, like a. Like the strap of a Jamesport backpack or something like that.

[A]

Funny.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then how did you do drama?

[C]

You know, just the drama is, you know, it's dis. But it's like a chicken figure. You know, it's like. Oh, it's not what you thought.

[A]

Yeah, this is like an M. Night Shyamalan kind of thing. Wow.

[C]

M. Night was there Nicole Scherzinger, you know, the members of Queens Reich were there. You know, I had Michael Rapaport, Leslie Jones.

[B]

What a team.

[A]

Rapoport shows up to a lot of your parties.

[C]

Yeah. Hieronymus Bosch was there. Had Michael Keaton, obviously. Joe Namath, Obviously. Some buddies just sort of party in here.

[A]

Wow. Okay. So that's in stores now. Now, Bob.

[B]

But sure, the Book is in stores.

[A]

Also, Cowbell Sal is coming to a close.

[B]

Wrapping up. So please do watch the final.

[A]

And he is wrapping during the final two episodes. Right.

[B]

Well, I'm spoiler alert number 900, but yes, I do wrap most of the episode.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you've seen the show, you know I rap.

[A]

It makes sense. Yeah. In your off hours, we always see you, like jotting down things in a notebook.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I assumed they were raps.

[B]

The characters rap. The original rapper.

[A]

Right. Bobby Flay. What do you want to plug? Anything.

[C]

Do you know the guy from future is raps?

[A]

Yeah, I've heard that. I heard he's good too.

[C]

Under the name Hemlock Ernst.

[A]

I've heard. I've heard he's okay.

[C]

Yeah, he's pretty good. Yeah, his 90s style was good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, you could just, I don't know, follow. I don't know what. Follow. At Shrimp Jaj. At Shrimp J. AJ On Shrimp J.

[A]

AJ that's all you want?

[C]

Yeah, he's a buddy of mine. Sort of.

[A]

Any of your parties or.

[C]

Yeah, he comes to my party sometimes. Yeah, James Austin Johnson, he comes to some of my parties. You know him? You know, maybe Leighton Meester might be there.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

You know the gossip. All the Gossip Girl people. You know all the Gossip Girls. Yeah. James is a huge fan of Gossip Girl.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. Bob worked with Leighton Meester once. Oh, yeah, sure did. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Blair Underwood was. Blair Underwood was there.

[A]

He was under there.

[C]

Blair from Gossip Girl and also the act of Blair Underwood were both there.

[A]

Really? Okay, Italiano, what do you want to plug? Anything.

[D]

If you like TV shows, you can screen scream. You can scream. Scream for you liking TV shows. And you can also stream Grand Crew on Peacock or Hulu right now. All the episodes.

[A]

Oh, that's a great show.

[D]

And give up for the season two. Also, if you like TV shows like Gossip Girl, there's a podcast that I like this called XOXO Gossip Kings where they rewatching the whole series of Gossip Girl. Listen to that wherever you get your podcast. Also, if you like other basketball TV shows, listen to the flagrant ones hosted by Carl Tartt, Hayes Davenport, and Sean Clements of Hollywood Handbook fame.

[A]

Wow, that's a lot of plugs, but I'll allow it. All right. I want to plug. Look, we just finished the first week of the Comedy Bang Bang tour. I think you might have been on one of these shows.

[D]

I will be.

[A]

You were.

[D]

I have.

[A]

Were. But we have another three weeks to go starting this Wednesday. We're In San Francisco and. And then we go to Portland, Vancouver, Seattle, and then all over the south and then the East. Come out and see us. You can get all of these tickets [e-mail] tour and while you're at CBB World, you can also listen to the tour as we're doing it. We're putting up the shows as we do them, and all the Maximus subscribers get to listen to those. So subscribe and enjoy the entire tour and. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[B]

Take one hand, put it up, take the other, put it down. You're gonna make a box.

[A]

It's time to start to close it.

[B]

But don't close it too much or you open up the. The plug bag. We're opening up that plug bag. And when you open up that plug bag, you open up your heart for the rest of the world. I'm talking open up the blood bag. Open up the blood bag.

[A]

Oh, wow, that was fantastic. That was Autumn Plug Bag by Dig It Al or digital. Not quite sure how it's spelled, but thank you to Dig It Al for that. And Bob, thank you so much for being here. Such an honor to have you in your.

[B]

Oh, that's nice of you.

[A]

Your pre Emmy month.

[B]

See what happens. Boy.

[A]

Boy.

[B]

Gave it a run. We gave it a run.

[A]

Well, you were nominated, so you're gonna definitely go. So you get a free party.

[B]

I'm starting to paint my tuxedo now.

[A]

With what?

[B]

Black paint.

[A]

Oh, really? Did you buy it white? Is that.

[B]

No, I just think it needs a fresh coat.

[A]

Okay, great. And Bobby Flay, great to meet you. You gotta do one of our parties here.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I'd love to do a commie bang bang party.

[A]

Yeah, we have weekly parties. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely. You got to do one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wolf.

[C]

I mean, I could cook wolf.

[A]

Yeah, that would be. And the ears.

[C]

I could get the ears. I mean, the ears aren't necessarily best. I. I would. I think it's more the underside.

[A]

Very succulent underside of the ears.

[C]

Or decided though, I mean, you could do the other side of the year. I just think it's a little. I don't know, it's not really the same as like a. I mean, you do like a guanciale kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Like a pig ear. You know, you do like a pig ear. We use the wolf ear.

[A]

Right, okay. Yeah, sure. Whatever you want to do, though, it's great. But you know, like, make it beforehand.

[C]

Though, you know, I'm gonna make you make it why?

[B]

So he's gonna yell at you So.

[C]

I can yell at you.

[A]

All right, all right, I get it.

[C]

I'm gonna bring the knives. You're inexperienced with knives that sharp. You're gonna cut yourself. I yell at you? You stupid or you. Your parents made bad financial decisions in the 80s, you know, just general.

[A]

Actually, they actually did. And Nataliano Jones, thank you for fighting for me.

[D]

I will always fight for you, Scott. I love you just like my mama.

[A]

It's weird that you love me as much as you love your mama. I have.

[D]

You have done more for me than she has.

[A]

I mean, she gave you life. What have I given you?

[D]

She never let me come to the Sunset Boulevard area.

[A]

It's the Sunset Boulevard area. We gotta be sure. All right, guys, we'll see you next week. Thanks. Bye.

[E]

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[A]

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[A]

Try something different.

[C]

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[D]

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