Bonus Bang: Dan Lippert, Stars, Paul F. Tompkins, Lily Sullivan, Tim Baltz, Ego Nwodim, Shaun Diston, Will Hines (The 13th Anniversary Show!)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Bonus Bang: Dan Lippert, Stars, Paul F. Tompkins, Lily Sullivan, Tim Baltz, Ego Nwodim, Shaun Diston, Will Hines (The 13th Anniversary Show!)

Release Date: May 1, 2025

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1. Celebratory Opening

Scott Aukerman kicks off the 13th Anniversary Show with humorous banter about rising prices and a playful metaphor likening modern life to an elevator that only goes up. The introduction sets a festive tone, celebrating the podcast's longevity and its diverse array of guests over the years.

Notable Quote:

Scott Aukerman [00:00]: "Prices keep going up."

2. Reintroduction and Guest Line-Up

Scott announces the release of special anniversary episodes, highlighting episode number 755 from May 1, 2022. He introduces a star-studded guest list, including:

• Bill Walton as himself, a basketball legend and broadcaster.
• Big Chunky Bubbles (Dan Lippert) as Bill Walton, showcasing a comedic persona.
• Francesca Bolognese, a social media expert.
• Pasta Pasta, a pastor with a quirky twist.
• Keith Stanley, a punk rocker.

Notable Quote:

Scott Aukerman [05:00]: "We have some incredible guests on the show."

3. Humorous Interactions with Bill Walton

Bill Walton joins as a co-host for the episode, engaging in witty exchanges with Scott. Their playful dynamic includes jokes about microphone mishaps and exaggerated celebrations of the podcast's milestones.

Notable Quote:

Bill Walton [06:31]: "Thirteen and feeling me."

4. Spotlight on Big Chunky Bubbles

Big Chunky Bubbles (Dan Lippert) takes center stage, introducing himself as a children's entertainer who crafts giant, chunky bubbles from soups and stews instead of traditional soaps. The segment delves into his unique performance style, the challenges posed by social distancing during the pandemic, and his transition to in-person shows with safety measures.

Notable Quotes:

Big Chunky Bubbles [15:00]: "I'm making soups and stews. They're bigger and chunkier than any other bubble."
Big Chunky Bubbles [20:37]: "I'm doing some in-person shows, but it makes the show less fun because people are so far away."

5. Introducing Francesca Bolognese

Francesca Bolognese, introduced as a social media expert now working for Bed Bath & Beyond, shares her experiences dealing with customer interactions at the corporate level. Her candid and often abrasive humor highlights the frustrations of corporate life, particularly in a retail environment.

Notable Quote:

Francesca Bolognese [35:16]: "Why? You know, drown yourself in a blender, Chop off your head."

6. Richie Castlebaum's Legacy Segment

Sean Disston steps in as Richie Castlebaum, the son of a legendary early character from the podcast. He humorously discusses his father's iconic catchphrases and characters, blending nostalgia with self-deprecating humor about living up to his father's legacy.

Notable Quote:

Richie Castlebaum [45:04]: "I'm his son. I'm his legacy character."

7. Pasta Pasta’s Quirky Monologue

Pasta Pasta, a pastor with a penchant for dark humor, delivers a monologue filled with absurd scenarios and morbid jokes about mortality. His interactions with other characters, especially his dramatic declarations about impending death from high cholesterol, add a surreal layer to the episode's comedic tapestry.

Notable Quotes:

Pasta Pasta [65:03]: "My doctor has told me I have 45 minutes to live."
Pasta Pasta [74:47]: "What's it about a British diplomat? Is it about, like, water rights in Africa?"

8. Musical Performances by Stars

The band Stars from Montreal performs two original songs, "Build a Fire" and "Cableton Hill," reflecting on themes of change, memory, and introspection. Their performances add an emotional depth to the episode, contrasting the otherwise frenetic energy of the conversations.

Notable Quote:

Stars [55:31]: "Time to build a fire, time to light it up, time to let it burn bright."

9. Keith Stanley’s Punk Rock Antics

Keith Stanley, the punk rocker, injects high-energy performances and rebellious humor into the show. His exaggerated portrayal of a town planner by day and punk musician by night creates a vibrant dynamic, filled with satirical takes on corporate life and punk culture.

Notable Quote:

Keith Stanley [111:15]: "Tear down the system."

10. Chaotic Interactions and Character Exits

The episode is rife with chaotic interactions among guests, including sudden exits, character-driven confrontations, and humorous misunderstandings. Gary the Gardener and Richie Castlebaum frequently interject with comedic interruptions, maintaining the show's lively and unpredictable atmosphere.

Notable Quote:

Big Chunky Bubbles [62:12]: "You want me to say it again?"

11. Closing Musical Finale and Announcements

As the episode wraps up, Stars perform another song, "Build a Fire," embodying themes of resilience and transformation. Scott Aukerman concludes with a blend of gratitude and comedic farewells, thanking guests and teasing upcoming content related to the podcast's extended universe.

Notable Quote:

Scott Aukerman [135:42]: "Thank you, everyone. We'll see you the next 13 years."

12. Advertisements and Promos

Throughout the episode, various advertisements and promotional segments are interspersed, including endorsements for:

• Metro: Highlighting a 5G data plan.
• Hero Forge: Customizable tabletop miniatures.
• Hometap: Home equity investments.
• Stamps.com: Mailing and shipping services.
• Strayer University: Higher education programs.

These segments are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, maintaining the show's signature humor.

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Conclusion

The 13th Anniversary Show of Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast is a whirlwind of comedic genius, featuring a blend of returning favorites and new characters who each bring their unique flavor to the table. From the surreal humor of Big Chunky Bubbles and Pasta Pasta to the high-octane antics of Keith Stanley, the episode offers a rich tapestry of laughter, absurdity, and heartfelt performances. Musical interludes by Stars provide a balanced emotional resonance, ensuring the celebration is both entertaining and memorable for longtime fans and newcomers alike.

Overall Notable Quote:

Scott Aukerman [135:42]: "Thank you, everyone. We'll see you the next 13 years."

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Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the core discussions and interactions of the episode.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

Going up. Prices keep going up.

[Francesca Bolognese]

These days it feels like being on.

[Scott Aukerman]

An elevator that only goes up, going up.

[Francesca Bolognese]

But not at Metro.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're pushing the down button. Going down, we've lowered prices.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Get one line of 5G data for $40 period.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's 20% lower.

[Francesca Bolognese]

And you get a free 5G phone when you bring your number.

[Scott Aukerman]

Only at Metro. Five year guarantee on eligible plans Exclusion supplies. See website for details. Not available Fab Metro with T Mobile in the past six months Tax supplies When life brings the blah Add more yabba dabba doo with some tasty fruity Pebbles early morning meeting blah. Someone brought the Pebbles. Yabba dabba doo. Run errands blah. Head to the store for Pebbles. Yabba dabba doo. Fruity Pebbles. Less blah, more yabba dabba doo. Pick up pebble cereal today. Yabba dabba doo in the Flintstones and all related characters and elements Copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another Bonus Bang. Bonus bangs being of course, episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that we have previously recorded that we are releasing out from behind the Paywall. And today is a very special day. If you're listening to this on the day it's released, because today is actually the anniversary of our very first episode. That's right, May 1st, 16 years ago today. So for this series of bonus bangs, we've been re releasing special anniversary episodes and today is no exception. In honor of CBeebies Sweet 16th, we're re releasing a great anniversary episode number 755, the 13th anniversary show. It originally aired on May 1st, 2022. That's right, three years ago from today. This is a lot of numbers, I realize it Stars Dan Lippert as Bill Walton, Paul F. Tompkins as Big Chunky Bubbles, Lily Sullivan as Francesca Bolognese, Tim Bolt as Richie Castlebaum, Egg Wodom as Pastor Pasta, Sean Disston as Gary the Gardener, Will Hines as Keith Stanley and musical guest stars. This is an incredibly packed episode. Fan favorites and newcomers alike drop by to share insights from their respective fields. That includes the visual artist Big Chunky Bubbles, social media expert Francesca Bolognese and punk rocker Keith Stanley. Plus stars, the great band from Canada providing us with songs. This is a great episode. Now for more Comedy Bang Bang. Consider becoming a [e-mail] where we keep the vault of every single episode from the show's history, including all of the live episodes. Plus you get great shows like hey Randy with Randy Snuts and this book changed my life and Scott hasn't seen. We're gonna have a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang out on Monday. That's gonna be our very special 16th anniversary episode. Until then, enjoy this bonus Bang Bang. Nothing steams my beans more than dad's ass and damn jeans. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Jonathan Chungus for that catchy submission. Jonathan Chungus. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week, a very special week. This is the 13th anniversary episode. Yes. We have been going at least once a week for 13 years now. And something else to celebrate. We are back in the studio. We're back in the Earwolf studios. We have four walls around us as well a ceiling, and the most important one of these surfaces, this floor, so we don't fall straight to the center of the earth. Welcome to the show. We have a great one. A lot of great people are gonna be on the show. My name is Scott Aukerman. Of course, we have some incredible guests on the show. Coming up a little later. We have a social media expert who gives tips. We have a punk rocker. We have a visual artist of sorts, in a way. And we, you know, it wouldn't be an anniversary episode if we didn't have a special musical guest. As Don Pardo said on Saturday Night Live, please welcome Torquil and Amy from Stars. The entire band Stars. Hi, guys. Hello, world. Hello, America. Hello, people who like funny things. All the ships at sea. Yes. So, so good to have you guys back on. It's. It's a great pleasure, sir. The new record is called From Capleton Hill. Is that how you pronounce it? That's how you do it. What is Capleton Hill? It's just like. It's a place I've gone every summer of my life. My mother went every summer. It doesn't change. It never changes. Like, nothing ever. They can't ever build there because there's so many crazy building laws. And all the shops are the same and it never grows and it just never changes. And, like, everything changes. Everything is so annoyingly changing constantly, more often than not for the worse. And this so from Capleton Hill is just the idea of, like, there's a place that doesn't change and it's in your head. Well, that's fantastic. You have this great new album. You're gonna be doing songs from the new record here for us. Very special treat for our anniversary episode.

[Pasta Pasta]

We're so excited to play here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this the anniversary in the sense it's the first time you did a show was on this date 14 years ago? 13 years. Well, we're starting our 14th year, so this is our 13th anniversary. Yes.

[Keith Stanley]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, yeah. Congratulations. Thank you so much.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you guys have been together longer. I mean, 22 years. Where. Yes, 22 years. Much better. It's not a competition.

[Pasta Pasta]

I think it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it is. Oh, if you win, it's a competition. Okay.

[Keith Stanley]

Correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you guys are going to be here the entire show doing songs for us. And we'll check back with you a little bit later. But first, let me introduce. He's been on the show now for a few years. He is a basketball legend. He is a fellow broadcaster, which is why I want him coming in here in a block in the co host slot. Please welcome back to the show Bill Walton. Hello, Bill.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

Thirteen and feeling me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scotty, turn down your phones. Everyone turn down your phones.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

How are you, Bill?

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, what a fantastic day. What a fantastic 13th year. I cannot wait. I have already mangled my microphone stand.

[Scott Aukerman]

You spoke so loud, the microphone stand broke.

[Gary the Gardener]

Is that what happens in old cartoons? When people sang opera, glasses would shatter. When I speak, microphone stands go slightly awry.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is one of the great anniversaries, is it not?

[Gary the Gardener]

One of the best anniversaries.

[Scott Aukerman]

He just set you up here.

[Gary the Gardener]

One of the best we've ever seen from the silver anniversary, which is one of my favorites. Oh, let's see.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know we all need to help out. We all need to chip in the anniversary party.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, yes, one of the great slow played marvels of theater written by, I believe, the fantastic. Let me pull this name out real quick. He did Betrayal.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's not a house painter, but you take off a letter and he's. Oh, I'm sorry, no, in the painter word.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, yes, Harold, paint. One of the great. And we take a quick beat, as the jokes would do if you're in the theater school. Harold Pinter. Pause.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of the great painters.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes, one of the great painters, but he did not paint houses. He painted emotional trauma onto stage as played by some of the fantastics. Not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not Joel Gray, of course.

[Gary the Gardener]

Lord of the great greys. From 50 shades of to 50 shades of to Zanatomy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did she play Michi?

[Gary the Gardener]

Xanatomy is Michi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bill, it's so good to see you. It's great having you here. What have you been up to, Kai?

[Gary the Gardener]

Happy to be here. Well, we just exited March Madness. The commercials were on one this year. I was loving the commercials. And we're into the NBA playoffs and they didn't make any new ones. So we're stuck with the old all stated AT and T commercials that we've been watching on and on for days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you broadcasting? Are you announcing any of the games?

[Gary the Gardener]

They won't have me in the national games.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm so sorry. Just the regionals.

[Gary the Gardener]

Just the regionals. And it's. I accept it as the fate of a man who challenges social norms on Mike.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Yeah. I mean, are you out there wearing the tie dye shirts and.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, yeah, I'll wear tie dye. I'll wear my bikini.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your bikini?

[Gary the Gardener]

I'll wear my bikini. Because you gotta show everybody that this is a fun thing we do. Basketball.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, basketball is fun. The game is fun. Exactly.

[Gary the Gardener]

The game is fun. It is meant to be joyful. It's just a few boys throwing a little round thing into a bigger round thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

But as we've discussed earlier, the most orange ball.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

In sports.

[Gary the Gardener]

Scott, did you see March Madness this year?

[Scott Aukerman]

I missed all of March Madness. I didn't see anything.

[Gary the Gardener]

You had the March Madness of your own, did you not?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you mean Covid?

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes. You had the March Madness that now goes year round for everyone. But they made the ball oranger this year.

[Scott Aukerman]

I saw that. Some people sent that to me. I was so excited.

[Gary the Gardener]

I thought there was. The first thing I did is I called the ESP or the TNT color correct guy and I said, you pumped the oranges too much, bro. And he said, I don't do color correct on live games. I said, my mistake.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if there's a five second delay so the person could constantly be color corrected?

[Gary the Gardener]

A fantastic suggestion. Because if you watch something, if you go from the bright, beautiful courts of the Charlotte Hornets and then you switch your TV over to the Brooklyn Nets, you feel like you went into a sepia game and you need a little color correct to not confuse your little peepers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can it get even more orange is the question. Because they've pumped it up almost as fur as they can go, as they say in Oklahoma.

[Gary the Gardener]

To me, that's a hadron collider situation. Where do we want to touch the untouchable? Do we want the ball to get so orange that we could. The earth could be sucked unto itself inside of a Wilson basketball.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good, good point.

[Gary the Gardener]

Wilson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Weird that that it was a volleyball, but named Wilson. Oh, wait, but they make Wilson. They make volleyballs. Is that what it was after the.

[Gary the Gardener]

Movie they had to start, they're like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man, we're leaving money on the table. Well, Bill, it's so great to have you. You're gonna be my co host. Is that all right?

[Gary the Gardener]

I'm all my. One, two, three. Scott Ox and Bill Walton.

[Scott Aukerman]

So now, Bill, are you ready to bring on our first guest?

[Gary the Gardener]

I would be happy to do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, he is a visual artist and he works within the medium of bubbles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wow.

[Gary the Gardener]

If it's Kirby, I'm gonna lose my damn shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kirby, meaning your enthusiasm.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, Kirby, you're enthusiast. I can't even say it the right way.

[Scott Aukerman]

The wrong way.

[Gary the Gardener]

No, Kirby, the little pink fat guy who. You might select him in Super Smash Bros. Oh, yes, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right, right.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No, it's not that.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not Kirby. No. I'm so sorry. And I apologize to the listeners as well. It's actually big chunky bubbles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What a typical introduction from you. Happy anniversary.

[Scott Aukerman]

Happy anniversary.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Lucky 13.

[Scott Aukerman]

Many hamburgers to you. Of course.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Many hamburgers to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big chunky bubbles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Big chunky Bubbles. That's my name.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like I haven't spoken to you since perhaps a live episode three years ago before the pandemic.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I don't keep track of when I talk to you. Surprise, surprise.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who do you keep track of that you talk to?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, my wife, my kids.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give me the stats on your wife. Chats.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, you know, she's passed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Oh, that's right.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

But I still talk to her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. Do you. Do you make a trip out to the graveyard or do you just do it around the house?

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, fuck.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Which answer would you like to make fun of more, Mr. Sensitive?

[Scott Aukerman]

I just find it interesting that most people, you know, they. They think that if they're not in the graveyards, you know, like 10ft radius of the actual.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

How do you. 10ft. What do.

[Scott Aukerman]

6Ft. 6ft.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Sorry, who's standing 6ft away from the grave to talk to it?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean. Meaning they're six feet down, six feet under, my dear boy.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah, I get that.

[Gary the Gardener]

One of the great series finales of all time, wouldn't you say, Scott?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Sure.

[Gary the Gardener]

Six Feet under.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Gary the Gardener]

From the end of Lost, which we all loved, to the beginning of Lost, which was a finale to my free time on Tuesday nights.

[Scott Aukerman]

So big chunky bubbles. We. How was your pandemic? We haven't spoken since before.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

How is my pandemic?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. What do you want me to ask?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Have you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Have you gotten. Have you gotten less good at interacting with people since quarantine?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're trying to say that. Of course it was bad and so why am I even.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Of course it was. Well, that's not strictly true. It was Actually, pretty good for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So that needs a good question.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Shut up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why was it good for you, big chunky bun?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Because I was. You don't have to say my whole stage name every time.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I'm sorry, bcd.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You can call me Petey. That's my name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Petey Amini.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I mean, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Petey. First of all, before we go into how your pandemic was, which I hear is pretty good, your. For. For new listeners. You are a.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

There can't be new listeners to this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we're just shedding listeners. Like the virus, like the uterine lining. You are a. You are a person.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why is that the first thing I think of when I hear the word shedding? I don't have a period. Why should I be thinking that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why is that rattling around in your nose?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I don't like it.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, big junkie. Everyone should be sympathetic to the shedding of the uterine lining.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

It affects at least half of the world's population.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it affects the other half of when you can have sex or not, so.

[Gary the Gardener]

And a little lesson about Scotty Boy. Not for Bill Walton. I'm in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Day, night.

[Gary the Gardener]

She.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

It's not about sympathy. It's just. I don't want to think about it all the time.

[Gary the Gardener]

All the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, when I hear the word shedding sometimes. Are people saying shedding?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I don't know. A lot. I know a lot of people who have snakes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's another thing that I want to talk to you about at some point, but not today. Sure, but you are an artist. You perform at children's parties or just.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I'm a children's entertainer.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What distinction were you going to make?

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't remember if you've performed at adult parties either, but you simply do children parties.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I primarily at children's enter.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you. You entertain them by making giant bubbles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

They're big, chunky bubbles.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

But that I make out of soups and stews.

[Scott Aukerman]

Instead of soaps.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Instead of soaps.

[Scott Aukerman]

And maybe there's a stews parallel as well. Instead of soaps and stews. I don't know.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

But you really don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're making soups and stews.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yes, I'm making soups and stews. Then I make bubbles from those soups and stews. They are bigger and chunkier than any other bubble.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And it does.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I know it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

It. It doesn't go well. You've scalded.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Hey, how many.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many children have you Scalded with.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I have never.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, with your piping hot soups.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I have hardly ever scalded anyone because I issue warnings at the top of the performance for people to stay back. Also, I know what I'm doing. It's my trade.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Yeah. So how many. How many people? How many?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Five. That's not bad for a whole career.

[Scott Aukerman]

At one party or at five different parties?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

At five different parties. @ three different parties.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three different parties. So two at two of those parties.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You want me to give you the breakdown?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, please. Well, it would have to be two.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Two at one party.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Two at another party.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

One at the final part.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What? I said, yeah, exactly. At the final party.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Congrats.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you say the final party? Are you not doing this?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

The final party where somebody got scalded? I'm still in business.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where? So tell me about. About the pandemic. What happened? Why was it so great?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, at the wet markets in Wu. Oh, dear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Oh, boy.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wait, how much do you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Zero. I mean, I know that the pandemic, they say it started there.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, the thing about wet markets is there's a lot of bubbles, and bubbles pop.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't think about that.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No one ever does.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you were there?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Gary the Gardener]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened? What do you mean?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What? Do you not know anything about the pandemic?

[Scott Aukerman]

I was thinking that you were saying you were the person who brought it over here to the States.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why would I. Hey, let's say I was. Why would I tell anyone?

[Scott Aukerman]

So what are you trying to say?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I thought you were just completely ignorant. Of what?

[Scott Aukerman]

You were going all the way back to me. God damn it, I hate you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I hate you, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did you come here? Do you know what makes things hard for you?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Because I'm trying to promote my business. Always, always be promoting abc.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I figure maybe other people will be checking back in. They haven't listened in a while. They're like, did it get any better?

[Scott Aukerman]

So why was it good for you?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Because of Zoom. I was doing so many Zoom shows. It's so much easier because I don't have to go to somebody's house and set up my terrines and pots, and I can just do it in my own home.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And no. And there is no fear of injury when it's over Zoom. Other than to yourself.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yes. And as you know, my arms are completely severely burned.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. What are you wearing over them today, by the way? You. You usually.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

A shirt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sometimes you didn't. You have those, like, long fingerless gloves as well?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Like, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Gary the Gardener]

Do they make those fingerless, those long, like, sexy gloves in fingerless, like opera gloves?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I'm thinking of, like when you're, like, you're a dancer, sometimes they would take leg warmers and put them around their, their arms.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why would I do that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you're an entertainer.

[Gary the Gardener]

That was almost Urkel.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why would I do that?

[Scott Aukerman]

How many things are almost Urkel in the world?

[Gary the Gardener]

How many things are almost Urkel?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

More than you think.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

Stefan is one.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's true.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Steffi Graff, Almost Stefan. Almost Urkel.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just two steps removed. So you were doing zooms and were you getting a lot of them? I mean.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yes. People were bored out of their minds, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

And word got around. I briefly went viral in Turkey.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Wow.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I have a lot of Turkish fans.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you, you did a lot of work over the pandemic. This is great. But now that it's, I mean, I don't want to say it's winding down necessarily, but we were back in the studio and people aren't doing. I know that people aren't doing as many zooms as they did that first couple of months. Are you still, Are you getting out there and doing them in person?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I am doing some in person shows. Of course, with the distance that I require, it makes it a little more, makes the show less fun because people are so far away they can't really get the full range of the bubble that I'm making. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How far away do people need to be?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

60Ft.

[Scott Aukerman]

60Ft away. That seems. It's.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah, that was the, that was the recommendation. 60ft.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. Yeah, I mean, other, Other than if you were to supply every partygoer with an iPad and you were live streaming it from your own camera or something like that.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I, I, Why wouldn't I just give them binoculars? That's cheaper. Maybe you have a bunch of iPads lying around, but I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I actually do. That's my other show. Well, that's fantastic.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I'm not one of these out of touch entertainers, Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

How much people cost?

[Scott Aukerman]

How much does it cost?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Cost $10.

[Scott Aukerman]

For how much?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

For a lot. I have to buy a lot of milk to make some of my stews and chowders.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And you're making them from scratch. You're not just buying them out of the can?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I make them all from scratch. And look, you're not supposed to eat them. The ones that I make.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Because they're. They're more viscous or they're designed for.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

For show biz. They're not designed for taste or nutrition.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And are these your own recipes or are these passed down to you?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Some are mine. Some are my grandmother's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Whose? Grand bubbles or grandmother A meme.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Grandmama Meme.

[Scott Aukerman]

Grandmama Meme.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yes. That's what we would call her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

My other Grandma was named Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No relation?

[Scott Aukerman]

To who?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

To the movie based on a book. Did you know that?

[Scott Aukerman]

By Sapphire.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I. Mrs. Doubtfire. Based on. Based on the novel by Sapphire. I found out that was based on a book and it blew my mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crazy.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What was the book?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I hope that Robin Williams still did five minutes of impressions of cartoons at the top.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yes. Where they've already animated the entire cartoon and then he has to come in and do the voice and they say, stop improvising. We've already done the cartoon. And he still doesn't get it, even though it's his job.

[Scott Aukerman]

So congratulations. I mean, the fact that you went viral with these non edible soups. Is that ever a problem? Where someone eats a soup after a bubble pops and you're like, no, no, no, you're not supposed to.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

After a bubble pops and you think they're gasping at the air like a fish on the land?

[Scott Aukerman]

I can only imagine that the droplets fly out much like the COVID droplets fly in our shed.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, thankfully, I've stopped using bat in all my recipes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes. Okay. Yeah. There was a period for Halloween I.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wouldn'T make a bat. Ch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, big chunky bubbles. It's a pleasure to have.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, you're already winding down.

[Scott Aukerman]

What else do you have?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What else do I have? We went through so many detours thanks to you. Talking about my grandmothers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's get to what you want to get to. That's what I'm.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I want to let people know I've started doing shows for grownups.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah.

[Bill Walton]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is unprecedented. You've never done this.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That's right, Bill. If you come to one of my shows, I'll make sure to stack up eight regular chairs for you to sit on.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, baby, baby. I gotta say, edible or not, those soups are going in my mouth the second the.

[Richie Castlebaum]

No, no.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes, sir. Try and stop me.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, I've started making new bubbles that.

[Scott Aukerman]

New shapes of bubbles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

New shapes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That are only suitable for adulthood.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are a little salty.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, they're definitely salty. Salty. I mean, your soups are.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm still.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I don't know why I still season them. I don't need to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Since they're not edible. But. But what shapes are these?

[Gary the Gardener]

The.

[Scott Aukerman]

The mind's reels, when I think about it.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, I mean, you can imagine some of them. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like giant balls.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, most bubbles look like giant.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Testicles, but when you put.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you two together.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Two together. But the secret is you can have them interlock because that's just two bubbles that are interlocking. Right. Make it have this. The two bubbles have the same relationship to each other that human testicles would.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Okay. Do you ever do just one ball and you're like, this is Hitler. And you get a big laugh.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why would I ever introduce Hitler into the show?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you're a weirdo. Bcb.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I'm a weirdo? I haven't mentioned Hitler to you once.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems a little weird, like you're a denier something.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

A denier of what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hitler would have come.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Hitler never existed.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Of the Holocaust.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

There's no such guy. He's like jeepers creepers or whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's incredible. And how have they been going over? I mean, is the purpose of this to titillate and to make people. I don't know how else to say it, but horny while they are watching your show?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I mean, that's not the purpose. To me, it's no different from a great painting of the human form. It's not supposed to make you what you said. It's supposed. Supposed to make you appreciate art. But unfortunately that is not the case and it makes people very aroused.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? So this is like an aphrodisiac, though?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I mean, I guess in the way that pornography is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, pornography is maybe the best aphrodisiac.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

It's number one with a bullet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this. Look, I don't. I'm not telling you how to market things, but I think you're going to think you could sell this to. To people who want to start an orgy. People in the life style. People who want to do a sex party, you know?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What do you mean, sell it to them like a kit?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no. Meaning you go perform this to them and then that gets them in the mood and then everyone just starts taking.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Now, I know you think you have an idea of what an orgy is and who's going to be there.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have a vague one.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah. But let me tell you something. In reality, you don't want to go to one of those things. Really? Yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

Big chunky buttholes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you, Bill. I appreciate that. Are There Non butthole orgies where you're like, okay, everyone just cover your butt. We don't want to see.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Are you talking like the cat's cut?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Non butthole orgies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, everyone just put a patch over those.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What, like a sign at the door?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Quincy Jones.

[Scott Aukerman]

Remember, we are the egos at the door.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Leave your egos at the door. Do you think anyone did?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I mean, it seemed like everyone had a good time. We're talking about the We Are the World video, by the way. Oh, yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

One of the great bring togethers of all the big celebs from Live Aid to Butthole List Party.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what has happened at these parties? People just get too turned on and an orgy breaks out. Is that what you're not.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

An orgy breaks out, but certainly people start to nick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I don't know. I think that's the worst thing in the world at an adult party.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

It is when you're trying to perform a show and nobody's paying attention.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess.

[Gary the Gardener]

I disagree. I think people necking around me is worse than if they just started fucking, like, what's going on?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

There is something that's gross about people really kissing each other when you're just standing there and they're going at it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, kissing like the. You kiss in the first three months of your relationship and then you never do again.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Never again. Although my wife and I, we kissed passionately for the entirety of our life together.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. How did she pass away again?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I don't remember.

[Gary the Gardener]

All right, I sort of.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I sort of remember. It was. I think it was my fault.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it was a stew.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

It was a stew. Related death.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

That means you've properly grieved. If you can forget how your loved one died, it means it's not.

[Scott Aukerman]

One day you'll realize you've just forgotten how she died.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Shut up. Of course I still have those miserable children we. We made together.

[Scott Aukerman]

How old are they?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Robbie, Bobby and Tag.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Tag. Tag was the youngest. Is that right?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah, he was an accident. Oh, sorry. A surprise.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how old are they now? Because I haven't seen you in three years.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I think they're three years older than before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. Congratulations to you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they. Have any gone to college or anything like that?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

None.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they of age though, or.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

So I'm not gonna tell you their age. I know you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think I'm gonna do with it?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You're gonna make fun of their ages. I'LL never tell.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you, Brittany Murphy?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Every. Huh? I'll never tell. I remember that. That's the only thing I remember from that movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I saw it. Scott hasn't seen it.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh, I saw it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you did? Really?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I couldn't even tell you the name of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like it's an O word. I don't know.

[Gary the Gardener]

It's not Gothika, but it looked like Gothia.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was that font.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh, yeah. Gothica. Halle Berry.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yeah. With a beautiful cover of Behind Blue Eyes from Fred Durst and company.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, are you a Durst fan?

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, are you kidding me? One of the great friends of all time from Scooby's best friend to Eat Mercury.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was that his name? Fred E. Mercury? I've been saying it wrong this whole time.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes, he was Alfred E. Newman's brother.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

He's also one of the great dirts of all time. From the San Francisco comedian Will to murderer Robert.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes, One kills on stage and the other kills anyone who found out that they killed before.

[Scott Aukerman]

And one kills someone's hopes of getting the million dollar prize on who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, was that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was Wilders.

[Gary the Gardener]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gave the wrong answer. So confident as a phone friend.

[Gary the Gardener]

Well, Robert Durst used to go to those and always do the wrong answer. And they asked the audience. He was such a fucker. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the worst thing he ever did.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Right. Ask them all. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Petey, now I'm winding down. Is that all right?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we have some other guests.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Listen, I want everyone to know I'm doing these shows at American Legion halls across the country.

[Scott Aukerman]

Only American Legion halls.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Only at American Legion halls.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that a budgetary issue or you just.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What are you trying to say?

[Scott Aukerman]

Nothing. Serb. Did you work?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this how you would prefer to be talked to?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I don't hate it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, don't get used to it because I did.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Immediately.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we have to get some other guests. Can you. I hate to say this, but can you stick around?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I have to.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to? For what reason?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I called a ride share service and they won't be here for another two hours.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Which one is this?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

It's. Have you've heard of Uber Pool?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, yeah.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

This is Uber Bus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God. They're picking up a lot.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

They're picking up a lot of people.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're at the tail end. It's better than being at the front end, right?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I like riding on the bus.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm talking about a human Centipede.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, you certainly changed it up in a hurry. We weren't talking about that before. Anyway, I'm sorry I'm so weird and not bringing up Hitler and human centipedes.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, let's. To our next guest. Good. I talked about her at the top of the show. She's a social media expert. She's here to give us some tips. Please welcome back to the show, Francesca Bolognaise.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Hello, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Francesca.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Happy to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God, So great to have you.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Just kidding. I got your stupid email. You wanted me to come. Begging me. Oh, please, please come on the podcast. Is it being important in a verse?

[Scott Aukerman]

We need a woman. I'm now really regretting having two specific people up. Up the top of the show.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I think she's dynamite.

[Francesca Bolognese]

And I have to say, it's been very typical podcast so far. You talk about orgy.

[Scott Aukerman]

When white men get together. That's what happens when bodies start slapping. From doing the wild thing. Wow.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you doing, Bill?

[Gary the Gardener]

Tone Luke's wild thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tone, Luke. Tone, Luke.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

One of the greatest tones.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, yes. From Polly Walnut's friend to.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Tom Hanks production company play.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, yes.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Very good.

[Gary the Gardener]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Francesca. It's so good to see you. You're a social media expert. You give tips to people on how to.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Whoa, whoa.

[Bill Walton]

Who?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Oh, how many times I have to tell you? I'm not an expert and I don't give a tip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I guess one more, because I thought that was what your whole thing was, was you go around giving tips to people.

[Francesca Bolognese]

No tip.

[Scott Aukerman]

No tip.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I guess I am an expert, sort of, because I work in social media or did for a long time, but now I specifically work for BedBet and beyond, the corporation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. In corporate. Oh, wow. Okay.

[Francesca Bolognese]

So if you remember the other time I was on I tell you that I work a different job or Bedbug and beyond.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Slightly ye. I semi zone out every time you talk, I have to admit, so.

[Francesca Bolognese]

That is so nice.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh, my God. He admitted he did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you, Tim. Now, a lot of people are just the tip. You're the opposite. Not to bring it back to punis.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Oh, my God. We're talking about dick the whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're going to talk about dicks.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Let's talk about how small all your dick is. Your dick is.

[Gary the Gardener]

She blew my pants right down.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Dick is pretty small.

[Gary the Gardener]

Well, yeah, it's podcast dick. It gets smaller when you're potting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone knows that we're talking about penises on the show because it's the 13th anniversary. And if you take a 13 and you tilt it 90 degrees to the left, it looks like a penis head.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I guess so. Okay. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, yeah, so you can see how. Why we would break.

[Gary the Gardener]

To draw at 13 and tilt their.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Necks, I guess, you know, I was prepared to talk about dick, so it's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, good. So how is Bed, Bath and Beyond Corporate working out for you? I mean, that's such a great step up for you, isn't it?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Well, so, you know, they basically have me in different things. So last time I work at a high school for Bed, Bath and Beyond.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, right.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I work for other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Other.

[Francesca Bolognese]

In other facets for Bed but and Beyond. Most recently, though, they give me the motion. And now I work in the store.

[Gary the Gardener]

No, in the store.

[Scott Aukerman]

In the store. It's in the brick and mortar.

[Bill Walton]

I work in the store.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, this is the worst.

[Francesca Bolognese]

It's the worst, worst job I could ever imagine for myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you do to get the demotion?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Well, they say that I was too mean to people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that can't be true.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Online and at the high school and in the other job I had that. I don't remember right. I was not very nice. So they say, okay. They demote, demote, demote, demote. And then I end up at the store.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. So this is terrible. I mean, I don't know that that's the right move on Bed, Bath and Beyond's part. You treat people so poorly, they're going to put you out there in customer service. Is that what you're doing? You're a front of house.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I am front of house. I show people where the towels are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that the number one thing people want to know is they. They walk in and go, where are the towels? Like, I don't. I don't want to go through your whole maze of this Bed, Bath and Beyond. You just point me right to the towels. I'm sopping wet.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes. They go, I am so wet. I went to the beach.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Where is the towels? I go, look at the stupid fucking little sign. Aisle six says towels, you stupid fucking bitch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Why? You know, fall down a cave and die alone at the bottom of the cave.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man, that would be a horrible death.

[Gary the Gardener]

What about where they shot. Click. Does anyone want to know where they shot those scenes from the movie Klik, where he gets. He goes into the beyond section and sees Christopher walk in?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I never see the movie.

[Gary the Gardener]

Must be. Cause you're foreign. Cause Klik is huge here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they don't show that in your training at all? The entirety of the movie.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Click no. For the training. They basically have us go just stand in the. In the stock. Stock room for 15, 25 hours. Really stand up straight. They want to know how long a shift you can work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Standard practice for American Corporation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Where did you tap out at what hour?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I made it a two hour.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two hours. Really? So you can only do two hour shifts?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah, I only do two hour shift and then I think a nap in one of the dog bed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Right there in front of it where the customers can see you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Does that count as the bed part or the beyond part?

[Francesca Bolognese]

That is a beyond part.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's beyond.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bill, are you all right?

[Gary the Gardener]

Dog bed is beyond. I mean, beds in the name. Oh, shit.

[Keith Stanley]

I'm shocked.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, if a dog walked in there, do you think the dog would go to the bed part looking for a dog, man?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I don't know. What if a stupid dog come in? I don't know where the little doggie walked to. But I would say it's not going to be much smarter than another human coming in and walking around. So I'll probably just aimlessly wander around for two a half hour.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah. So what else is in the beyond part? I've never realized because I go in there and I can see the towels, I can see the bedding, I can see everything that goes in the bathroom. But then, like, I'm just confused as to what the beyond is.

[Francesca Bolognese]

It's a lot of all different type of things. We have purses, pencil sharpeners, pencil sharpener. We have eraser too. That's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Erasers are new for Bed Bath and Beyond this season.

[Francesca Bolognese]

These are brand new.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Very exciting stuff.

[Gary the Gardener]

Are they like general erasers or is it like SodaStream or Keurig is making erasers now?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes. It's a lot of different companies getting into different things, getting into the eraser game. So like a Bic pen.

[Gary the Gardener]

Who do they think they are?

[Scott Aukerman]

David lynch or Arnold Schwarzenegger and Vanessa Williams?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Big pen make a bra.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh, because of Eraserhead. I got it.

[Gary the Gardener]

I wish I could click my wallet way back about 30 seconds.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you just say?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I say the big pen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big pen makes bras.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Big pen makes bra. Because if you remember, big pen make a pen for her. You remember?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

My wife loved them.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what was the difference? It was slightly thinner. Is that what it was?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes, it was a very skinny.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what. And why would very weak pen, very pink to imply that, you know, like, hey, I'm not going to be writing anything important with this.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Exactly right. Just writing errands. Short little thing on a post it.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Note on your husband's lunch bag.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah, grocery. Grocery list. People voting women.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right, right. So now they started making bras.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah, they make a bra for her.

[Scott Aukerman]

For her. Wow.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I know, it's crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are freaking out, Francesca.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Well, this is the main thing though. Now that I work work at the store, I make not a lot of money and the manager is a make me do. Make me be nice to people. For first time in my life I had to be polite.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or else what?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Or else I don't know. But beyond demote me again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, what's even lower than the store?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I mean like bathroom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh God, that would be horrible.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Just don't work it that way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cleaning toilets.

[Francesca Bolognese]

No, just hang out in the bathroom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh yeah, yeah, that would be the worst.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Make sure that everybody going properly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which location? Which location are you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wait, hold on. So people use the bathroom and then you watch them?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I just hang out in a public restroom at the corporation. Make sure everybody bowel movements going pleasantly.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you do this? Is it like a check in?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I never do this, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I have not been demoted to this, but these are here.

[Scott Aukerman]

And when you were working there, I'm sure there were people there who.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Oh yeah. When I go to the bedroom, everyone said everything okay. Oh my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you sure this is a paid position or just other employees asking if your particular shits are going?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Well, I'm. I don't know, but I think it is a paper.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you make weird noises when you.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, most people do it silently. Like it doesn't, it doesn't cause damage silently.

[Francesca Bolognese]

You're just a silent, perfect silence. I bet you're quiet when you have sex too. I bet you're fucking silent.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't have to be when you have sex, but when you're shitting, it is a little weird to be like, ah, okay.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, which location are you at?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Can you say, yes, I am at a. In Hollywood.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh wow, you're really freaking. The one on Vine.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every detail is frightening to you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the worst customer interaction you've had?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Well, I think because I had to be nice to this one girl.

[Gary the Gardener]

Girl.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Her name was Jenny. And she came in, she said, hello, my name is Jenny, I'm looking for air purifier. I say, well, okay, Jenny, why not go to the aisle with the Air purifier. See, I was being very nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I say, why? Why? You know, walk to aisle five where you find the air purifier. She walk over, she can't find it still. She say, excuse me, excuse me, where is air purifier? I cannot find it. And then I say, listen to me, little stupid little bitch. Why? You know, drown yourself in a blender, Chop off your head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. First drowning and then having your head chopped off.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, that's a terrible idea.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Make a smoothie out of your head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Francesca.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Have you seen the HBO series My Brilliant Friend?

[Francesca Bolognese]

No.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You remind me of this one character, Lila. She's so mean.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

But it's unclear whether or not she is the brilliant friend or her friend Lenoux is the brilliant friend of her.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a lot of free time to watch this HBO show.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why is that? The indic.

[Scott Aukerman]

People watch TV shows still to, like an entire season of one.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Are you saying because it's in another language and that's impossible for you to imagine?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I didn't realize it was another language because I haven't had time to watch it.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Have you watched Old Enough?

[Scott Aukerman]

I've one episode.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Best show of all time.

[Scott Aukerman]

It doesn't seem like a show that you would enjoy, Francesca.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I have to say, I like to watch a little kid. Yeah, because it's before they become a super stupid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Right on the cusp. And they're about as tall as you, because aren't you four?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes, I'm one foot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. Yeah, I forgot. Well, Francesca, thank you for being here. It's great to have you. I'm so sorry that you're. You've been demoted. It's sounds like your life has been going horribly. The stores are back open, so you have a lot of time to be talking to these people that you detest so much.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes. Well, I'm happy to be here to help you out with your podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's okay. We needed a woman, so I appreciate it.

[Francesca Bolognese]

You're welcome.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, can you stick around? We have another guest we have to get to.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes, I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Well, he is. I don't know. Know. And you know, this is.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why do you ask people if they can stick around?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because a lot of times people think that they. Whenever the interview is done, they just get up and they just turn around.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why don't you tell them beforehand?

[Scott Aukerman]

Take care of that housekeeping your own podcast.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Maybe I will.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God, I'd love to see the the numbers on that. Anyone can stand to listen to your voice for more than five seconds.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Hey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. What?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That went a little far.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

It's more personal than we ever get.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. I'm sor. Sorry, Petey.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I can't control the way I sound.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, Petey. I don't mean to. To come at you about things.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You can sorry, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can control your weight, though. You're super fat.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I used to be really thin. Remember that? I was shredded. That was part of me. But now, apparently, I'm this.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have to get to our next guest. And a lot of times on these anniversary shows, we have returning favorites. But I don't know anything about this person. I just have a name. He's just walked in. Please welcome Richie Castlebaum. Thanks.

[Sean Disston]

Thanks for having me. I bet you know a lot about my dad because he's put so many excellent legendary characters into the cbee canon. Oh, Rick Castlebaum. One of the. One of the legends of comedy Bang Bang early days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, you're Rick Castlebaum's son?

[Sean Disston]

I'm his son.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. Okay.

[Sean Disston]

I guess you could call me a legacy character. He couldn't be here today, so I'm here in his place to talk about some of his legendary characters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What happened to him? I mean, he was on so many times in the early years and then just stopped booking him. What happened?

[Sean Disston]

No, he just got. He got so big on his own that he just. He went off, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Sean Disston]

And then he came groveling back and you said, fuck off. I haven't heard from you in a couple of years.

[Scott Aukerman]

I sort of remember that. Yeah, you got too big. And then something happened to his career and he had more.

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, it was one of the early Snapchat viral videos. Someone filmed you from across the street being fuck off.

[Gary the Gardener]

Off.

[Sean Disston]

You think you're too good for me right off, Rick?

[Scott Aukerman]

I sort of remember that. Yeah.

[Sean Disston]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But hey, it's great to have you on the show. I mean, hey, it's great to be.

[Sean Disston]

Here with such legends of the Game.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you a comedian as well?

[Sean Disston]

No, absolutely not. I did get a development deal from Warner Brothers through my dad. But, no, I'm not a comedian at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. What was that? A first look deal? A blind deal. Blind script. What was it? Both first look and a blind script script deal.

[Sean Disston]

How it's called first look. It's about blind people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Sean Disston]

It's capitalizing on coda. It's the coda.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's the coda Wave.

[Sean Disston]

Right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Yeah.

[Sean Disston]

So it feels like they were like this sounds like Oscar bait. You're on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Sean Disston]

You're fired.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what is it like? Coda is all about a girl who sings in her family who is hearing impaired, can't hear her. What is this for blind people?

[Sean Disston]

It's the exact same thing, but for blind.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, singing, too? No, no, no.

[Sean Disston]

It's someone watching a concert, and they're there with their blind parents, and they're just narrating what's happening.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, but I mean, at a concert, people are just kind of standing there playing their instruments. It doesn't seem like it's as big of a tragedy, or at least ironic as Koda.

[Sean Disston]

You've never been blind.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

We gotcha. Is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

If so, I can close my eyes, though, and it's practically the same thing.

[Sean Disston]

No, it's not the same thing, because then you have visions that you've already seen before. I didn't come here to talk about my development deal. I came here to talk about my dad and his awesome character.

[Gary the Gardener]

The amount of times that sentence has been said on Comedy Bang Bang. I mean, Scott, constantly trying to talk to business, but we're trying to talk family out there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. I'm sorry. Yes.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I found the opposite.

[Sean Disston]

Some of my dad's classic characters, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mr. Fiddle, Dee Diddle Dee.

[Sean Disston]

He used to go, zoinks, I'm just a nice boy. How do you like your coffee?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, I remember that guy. One of the biggest characters from early season. Well, only one episode, but yeah.

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, that was his thing. He only did one episode, and then people talked about it for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right. What else did he do?

[Sean Disston]

I. Pearl S. Wisdom in your future. I'm seeing a bunch of horseshit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Francesca Bolognese]

That was such a good impression. I remember that episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

The early years. Yeah. Were really different. Yeah. Or were they? I don't know.

[Sean Disston]

They were exactly the same. Then you'd be like, I hate your guts. Why did you come on this show?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Yeah, exactly. What else? I mean, those were two big characters, and I'm shocked.

[Sean Disston]

You want to hear more?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Why not?

[Sean Disston]

Oh, okay. He did Sufjan Stevens. What fucking state are you from?

[Francesca Bolognese]

He's from New York. That's fair.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Sean Disston]

Who knows? He claims to be from every state.

[Gary the Gardener]

This was, you know, this was like the 80s when every standup was getting a sitcom.

[Scott Aukerman]

So everybody.

[Gary the Gardener]

And this was the early comedy Bang Bang, where everyone wanted a catchphrase.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Gary the Gardener]

And your dad would come on and try out his catchphrase a lot of.

[Scott Aukerman]

People had catchphrases on the show or in the early years, in the first.

[Sean Disston]

Couple especially, he had a big strategy. He was like, I, come on, I get my catchphrase on there and then I become a legend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Yeah. And he did have these catchphrases that you said, but. And he is a legend. Although, to be honest, I don't really remember him. I've been sort of saying like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really remember him being on.

[Sean Disston]

That's ice cold. That's ice cold.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it was 13 years ago. Do you remember what you had for breakfast, you know, in 2009?

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, well, I have the same breakfast every day. Greek yogurt with berries and cashews. So, yeah, I do know what I. For breakfast 13 years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I stand corrected.

[Gary the Gardener]

An early adopter of the Greek yogurt trend. Or were you in Europe or Greece?

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, 13 years ago I was living in Greece.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Sean Disston]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doing what?

[Sean Disston]

Just cashing in my dad's checks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Why? Okay. And he's rich. I guess I'm taking. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Sean Disston]

See, this is the thing. You're pretending you don't know his whole career.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah, Scotty, you're jealous.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, the green eyed monster, it attacks us all, does it not?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Mostly. You shut the up. You shut the up.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is my show.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That's why you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You. You.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. No, you, You.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God, this is classic stuff. This is classic stuff.

[Sean Disston]

Everyone can get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have any more.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Sure.

[Gary the Gardener]

A new catchphrase. Born before mine eyes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everybody can get fucked. You have any more characters you want to talk about or you.

[Sean Disston]

My dad's characters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, you keep pulling up your phone like you have a long, long list of them, but it could just be three characters long.

[Sean Disston]

No, no, no, no.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

They're closing in on the end you used to do. I took a peek.

[Sean Disston]

I scrolled to the bottom. Danny fucked sticks.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't be under arrest.

[Sean Disston]

I was just fucking these two sticks. But those were his catchphrases. You know, the characters were as rich and deep as anything in modern American literature.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And why don't you do characters? I mean, you've been doing these voices, good impressions, from what I understand.

[Sean Disston]

Oh, no, I can only do the catchphrases. I can't sustain any kind of character voice for more than, I don't know, one or two sentences.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And you've always talked like this.

[Sean Disston]

Yep, this is how I sound right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Out of the womb.

[Sean Disston]

I was like, thanks, doc. It's a little cold in here. Send me back into the womb.

[Gary the Gardener]

You know, I'm not willing to hear this. I am an inspirer. I am a man who brings the greatness out of men. You've got a great character in you, Mr. Castlebottom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you, Bill. Let's rip it out of him. I'm rip it out of you like the uterine lining. Let's see it shed.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Stop talking about uterus, every single one. You bring up a vagina at some point already.

[Gary the Gardener]

No dicks, no vaginas, no head Hitlers. It's cancel culture all over the place.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you scared of cancel culture being a thing or not being a thing?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I am scared of me being canceled, personally. Yeah, because I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because of your personality.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah. Yeah, but I'm a whole. I think everybody get canceled. Everybody's so stupid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? I mean, you're one of those people who would be canceled not because you said anything offensive necessarily, but just because of your whole thing.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah. It'd be like rumors over the course of many years that I am a terrible person. And then it finally catch up with, damn, just breaks like an Alan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jimmy Fallon or other Alans.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Alan. Alan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two of the great Allens. From Alan to Jimmy Fallon, from Persons Project to Anon. One of the great Anons. From Al Anon to Qanon.

[Sean Disston]

Yes.

[Gary the Gardener]

So some of the scariest Anons out there are the Cunan, aren't they? Winning a whole letter of the Alphabet.

[Scott Aukerman]

For the rest of us. Let's get this character out of you, Richie. As I look down at the page, let's get this character out of you. Just, I don't know, throw out a name, any name. Harry. Harry. Not bad. Okay.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, nice layup to start it off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay. Harry. And what does he do for a living?

[Sean Disston]

Let's say he's a carpenter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Carpenter.

[Sean Disston]

His last name's drawers. Hairy drawers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hairy drawers. This is good because a carpenter would probably make some drawers in some sort of a. A. A furniture thing or.

[Francesca Bolognese]

You know, I bet that mien, when you open the. The drawers, the chest, there's a bunch of hair inside, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's true. Wow.

[Sean Disston]

See, I'm pulling stuff from my subconscious because I'm such a huge fan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Are you working her side of the street a little too much, though? Like, are you getting. Are you feeling like he's both hookers? What are you saying? What are you implying? No, I just mean, like, is that too close to what you do?

[Francesca Bolognese]

It's a little close, but at this point, whatever you need, buddy. I got your bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, great.

[Sean Disston]

I don't think a carpenter has anything. I, I, no, I, look, this scene.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's the hairy part, I think.

[Sean Disston]

Is what she's so intimid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the hairy part?

[Sean Disston]

No, but that's the name.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I thought she was just kidding about having your back. Is that right?

[Francesca Bolognese]

You not have your back in all.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That's what I thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's do this. Okay. So please welcome to the show, Harry Drawers. Oh, oh, no. Thanks for having me. I don't know.

[Sean Disston]

I just got here from my wood shop.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you talking like that, Harry? That's somebody else.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That's Shangy from Scooby Doo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. I knew it wasn't me.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, it wasn't him.

[Francesca Bolognese]

If I heard you in a bed, Bed and Beyond bathroom, I would be like, oh, my God, we need to call the ambulance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Why do you talk like that, Harry?

[Sean Disston]

Because I'm just a nice guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, Bill, I don't know.

[Gary the Gardener]

I love this guy. This guy's got legs. He's got a voice, he's got a double entire. Throw it down, big man.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

One time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know. I, I, I want Richie back.

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, I gotta bail on the guy. It's just not my, it's not my thing. I got two sentences in and I got self conscious.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, maybe. Yeah. You're not, you're not ready for it.

[Sean Disston]

No, that's okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like the Not Ready for Primetime Players.

[Sean Disston]

Hey, great. Those are some of the most famous people in the country right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Richie, I thank you for being here. Now, I'm gonna ask you this. Can you stick around?

[Sean Disston]

Absolutely not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone else coming in or are you just leaving?

[Sean Disston]

No, I gotta bail. I absolutely gotta bail.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I get it. I understand. But we also, we need to take a break. We need to do our form of bailing, which is to take a break. But before we do that, we're going to be here hearing a song from the band Starz. Starz is here, the new album from Capleton Hill. All now let's go to them. Stars. Are you ready?

[Pasta Pasta]

We are, we are going to play you born ready. It's called Build a Fire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Build a Fire. Now, is this about the television show Survivor? About the fire challenges? It actually sort of is, now that you mention it. It's about paranoia and capitalist threat and fear of death. So, yes, it is about the television show Survivor. You're describing all of my favorite songs right now. You nail them. Wonderful, Scott. All right, well, let's hear It. This is stars. Hit it, guys.

[Gary the Gardener]

Ladies and gentlemen, stars.

[Bill Walton]

You're left alone with your thoughts all day when someone calls you tell them that you're okay? Outside that long low shadows creep? You put away the past and you try to go to sleep? Time to build a fire Time to light it up? Time to let it burn bright? And then it's time to stop? And then it's time to start? I never knew you could be that work. I never knew you would hurt me I never knew you could be that way I never knew you would hurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Me Back in the empty city again?

[Bill Walton]

Waiting for your passport? Running from your friends outside there Burning down the past Dreaming in the sea with they think it's going to last the night goes 90 miles an hour. The terrifying dawn is unfolding like a flower. They live a life of quiet despair. They turn to pull you in but they never find you there they never find you there. I never knew you could be that way? I never knew you were hurt me? I never knew you could be that way? I never knew you would hurt me Hurt me I never knew you could be that way? I never knew you would hurt me? I never knew you could be that way? I never knew you would hurt me Hurt me? Time to build a fire Time to light it up Time to let it burn bright and then it's time to stop Time to build a fire Time to light it up Time to let it burn right a minute it's time to stop Time to feed the fire Time to fill your cup and heat eats everything and it's never gonna stop Time to feed the fire Time to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fill your cup the world will keep.

[Bill Walton]

On turning it's never gonna stop oh, it's never gonna I never knew you could be that way I never knew it could be that way.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, very good. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna be right back. More 13th anniversary comedy bang Bang after this. Hero Forge offers fully customizable tabletop miniatures. With dozens of fantasy species and thousands of parts to choose from, all within your browser. Hero Forge also offers downloadable model files for you to 3D print your unique designs at home. And they're constantly expanding their catalog of customization options. Visit Heroforge.com to start designing your custom miniature today and check back often. New content is added every single week. Use the code Bang Bang at checkout for 10% off orders on physical miniatures. Some restrictions apply. Not combinable with any other sale or promotion. With a home equity investment from Home Tab, you get access to your Home equity in cash without monthly payments to use for whatever you'd like from paying off debt to making renovations or handling emergency expenses. Receive your funds in just a few.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Weeks, start pursuing your financial goals and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Start getting more out of life. See if you pre qualify for an [e-mail] subject to eligibility terms and conditions apply. That's hometap.com flexibility flexibility. We all want flexibility. Boo doo boo doo. Well, flexibility in your workday means you can decide when and where to invest your time. And with stamps.com tedious tasks. You know those TTS like sending certified mail invoices, checks or documents and packages, well, they can all be done on your time and not on somebody else's. IS stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever. We've been using stamps.com now. It has to be over a decade. They've been. They're one of our super sponsors. We got set up with an account very early on and it's great. We send everything from there. Have more flexibility in Your Life with Stamps.com Sign up at stamps.com and use code bang bang for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free post postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com and put in code Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. 13th anniversary episode. We are back. We have. Let's see, Bill Walton is here. Of course. He's trying new things out. We also have big chunky bubbles is here. Do you want to say wamba bama? Usually we've been saying oh no. Yeah, I know, but you could share it.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You want me to say it again?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, oh. Meaning yeah, I'd like to hear it. Every succeeding person has to say it one more time than the previous person.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Boy, oh boy. This is another thing could have been taken care of off my wama buma.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. And Francesca Bolognese is here three times for you, please. Screaming is a new thing. But say wamba bama three times, please. Okay, thank you.

[Gary the Gardener]

Two more and wamba bama appears.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh no. What happened Happens when he shows up or she.

[Gary the Gardener]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

They fight chamba wamba.

[Gary the Gardener]

And someone gets knocked down, my friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Then what happens?

[Gary the Gardener]

They get up again.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Richie Castlebon took off. So no, no big loss there. And of course we have stars here all the way from Montreal. Oh, it's a pleasure and an honor. Happy anniversary. And now we have a returning favorite here. He is a. He's a clergyman person in the ministry trying to get out there and save people. And also an enthusiast of a certain type of food. Please welcome back to the show. Pasta. Pasta.

[Pasta Pasta]

Pasta. Pasta.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pasta. Pasta. Sorry, I could never know how. Never quite remember how to pronounce.

[Pasta Pasta]

And you say it like my identity is separate. Also an enthusiasm. Enthusiast. A pasta. But I'm an enthusiast because I'm a pastor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Pasta Pasta]

What's that track for you, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I suppose so, yes. And I apologize.

[Pasta Pasta]

I didn't mean to offend you. I don't think people said fusilli.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Fusilli.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, now for those of you who haven't heard past to pass.

[Pasta Pasta]

What the hell are you doing?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, go back and just pause this episode.

[Pasta Pasta]

If you haven't heard, pause the episode and go back and listen to the others.

[Scott Aukerman]

And your thing is, basically, you are a minister who also enjoys talking.

[Pasta Pasta]

Scott, why are you acting like you don't know? Scott. God, I didn't come here to be antagonistic with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course you did.

[Pasta Pasta]

It seems inevitable. Why you got to act confused about my identity?

[Scott Aukerman]

I am not confused. I'm. I'm. Or am I getting the facts wrong?

[Pasta Pasta]

You're getting the facts wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? You tell me. What. What. What am I not saying?

[Pasta Pasta]

I love pastor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm also a pastor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Pasta Pasta]

Who preaches about pastor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Pasta Pasta]

Understand?

[Scott Aukerman]

I understand it. Yes. It's full circle.

[Pasta Pasta]

Very good. So good.

[Scott Aukerman]

And. And you got. Are doing this on Sundays. I don't know if we've ever talked about what day you're out there.

[Pasta Pasta]

Sundays, Saturdays, sometimes Wednesdays.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sometimes Wednesday. Yeah. Okay.

[Pasta Pasta]

Other days I rest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Well, that's a lot of time off.

[Keith Stanley]

On.

[Pasta Pasta]

On the other four days, he rested. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have always thought that being a minister or being a, you know, a pastor or anything like that. Like you're working one day a week.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a pretty sweet gig, right?

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, no, I would. I would say it's not a sweet gig. And honestly, Scott, I don't mean to bring the mood down here at this beautiful.

[Scott Aukerman]

We've been having so much fun. We've been hearing music.

[Pasta Pasta]

It's been music. You heard a song.

[Scott Aukerman]

The two things. Music and a song.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah. Music is part of songs, generally speaking.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Sure.

[Pasta Pasta]

Some say they're synonymous.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would almost say that if a song came on and they're. Oh, sorry, go ahead. If a song came on and there wasn't music in it, I would pass.

[Pasta Pasta]

Just acapella.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, there'd be music in that.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay, sure. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you mean instrumentation. Sure, sure.

[Pasta Pasta]

I do mean that. I like you today.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like you too.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay. Very good.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's good to have you on. We're celebrating the 13th anniversary and you have something that you want to bring.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, this isn't so much a celebration, but maybe for mine enemies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Pasta Pasta]

My doctor has told me I have 45 minutes to live.

[Bill Walton]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

From now or from when he told you?

[Pasta Pasta]

From now. He said the minute you step on and start talking on that podcast, you got 45 minutes to live.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is like a speed situation.

[Pasta Pasta]

This is a speed situation, Scott. He said my cholesterol is so high from eating pasta. From eating pasta. And I said, I am not gonna stop eating pasta. Over my dead body will I start eating pasta.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you brought some. Brought like, literally. Yeah, you brought a whole bunch of. To go containers.

[Pasta Pasta]

Different types of pasta. Anybody want to join me? Just dip right in.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I'm in the hea. Some of these are gnocchi.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, gnocchi. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, you're here with Francesca Bolognese, who I believe is from.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I am from Italy.

[Pasta Pasta]

From Italy.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Italy with an E. E. Wait, you're from the restaurant?

[Pasta Pasta]

The restaurant?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes, they're from the restaurant. You were born in that restaurant in the back where they make the Parmigiano.

[Pasta Pasta]

And your parents worked there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What was your mother doing back there?

[Francesca Bolognese]

My mother, she work at the. She was from Ohio.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, you don't have to enunciate it like that, baby. I don't want to tell nobody what to do. I look so stressed saying it, and she throw it away.

[Francesca Bolognese]

She used to help make the Parmigiano Reggiano. Basically, they get it shipped in from Italy with the I.

[Scott Aukerman]

With the I.

[Francesca Bolognese]

And she would organize the big wheels of cheese.

[Scott Aukerman]

She'd organize. So she was like stacking wheels.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm so glad we're talking. Talking about this woman's mother when I have 43 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am so sorry. You're right. We need to pack everything.

[Pasta Pasta]

I. I just gotta tell you, I think it's incredible.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I. I beg your pardon. You're right. We got. We got on a tangent.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Well, I was going to say this podcast really drained the life out of you, though.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, it was this podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened?

[Pasta Pasta]

You make me come on here and do sermons for free and it's not cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, I'll pay you to do a sermon if you. If you just promise to live longer.

[Pasta Pasta]

I can't make that promise. The cholesterol is so high. He told me it's so high. He said my. He said my arteries are filled with Parmesan. No, Parmesan. And carbohydrates. They won't break down in my body anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

In the arteries?

[Pasta Pasta]

In the arteries. The capillaries? No, the quadrants?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No. That's bad. When it gets to the quadrants, that's bad.

[Pasta Pasta]

Quadrants, Yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

I don't want to go full vampire, but it sounds like what a reveal.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Would be a little bit delicious.

[Pasta Pasta]

I suppose so if you want to take a bite. I don't have nothing to live for anymore, but if I could share a word with y'all about pasta, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I mean, this is your time. I mean, you only have, like, by my count, 40 minutes to live at this point.

[Pasta Pasta]

Why don't you tell me a problem you're having and I can say a word.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I, I.

[Pasta Pasta]

Personal problem. Don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Occasionally, I'll come to work and there will be people at work that I really, really dislike. Who, for example, who. Who come. Who come on this show, and I really hate them.

[Gary the Gardener]

Write a picture.

[Pasta Pasta]

They're not even giving you time of day.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah, I hear you. Why should I dignify that?

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay, that's the problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the problem. I dislike my co workers.

[Pasta Pasta]

What makes you so special?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That's a good question.

[Pasta Pasta]

That sounds regular, but. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds regular.

[Pasta Pasta]

Have you ever tried pretty brand of pasta?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I don't even know what that would entail.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, you get a bowl of pasta that exists already. Well, you could boil it, you could do whatever you want. You can bake it.

[Scott Aukerman]

If it's Z, could it be dry pasta?

[Pasta Pasta]

You're gonna have to cook it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Pasta Pasta]

Do you have a kitchen in here? I'd love to go in the kitchen and maybe make everybody a little bit of pasta before I pass.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a kitchenette.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Chewbacca is here.

[Scott Aukerman]

A kitchenette? Will that do you.

[Pasta Pasta]

Or a kitchenette, it. What is that a female kitchen?

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. It's like, does less work, does a.

[Pasta Pasta]

Little less work, gets paid less. Okay. Yeah. Well, if there's a kitchenette I usually like, my kitchen's male, but I'll go into a kitchenette.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'll go into a kitchen and I, I'll. If I could just go whip y'all up some pasta.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're going to spend part of your. I mean, it takes about being of service.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Thank you so much. What are you going to make for us?

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, everybody tell me your favorite kind of pasta.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Scungy.

[Pasta Pasta]

The blessed, Scungily. The sacrament.

[Gary the Gardener]

I got the blues, Kraft Mac and cheese, Blue box blues.

[Pasta Pasta]

What's your favorite?

[Gary the Gardener]

Well, I'm sad that you're dying. So I got the blues, you know.

[Pasta Pasta]

Please don't be sad for me. I've lived a good life. Please don't be sad for me. I'm actually quite happy to pass.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good. Oh, really? Where do you think you go when you tell die Hell.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's part of your religion?

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm going straight to Hell. Honey.

[Scott Aukerman]

You must be so scared. Why are you so proud of me?

[Pasta Pasta]

No, I'm not scared. I have met Lucifer face to face.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Pasta Pasta]

We went to elementary school together. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're happy you're going to die because you're going to meet Lucifer again? Your old school chum?

[Pasta Pasta]

He used to bully me. He used to bully me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then why are you happy to see him?

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, because now I want him to see how well I've done. How thick I've gotten from what a pasta I've gotten. He used to call me skinny and bones.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Isn't that Lucifer from a Lucifer's Pizza?

[Pasta Pasta]

Yes, yes, exactly. Here in Los Angeles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Local reference.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I mean, Jones aside, that's good Pizza, Los Angeles.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yes.

[Gary the Gardener]

Too spicy.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I like the spice. You don't like the spice?

[Gary the Gardener]

Not on my sweet little talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not on her time. She only has.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm going to eat these.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, this. This man only has 38 minutes.

[Pasta Pasta]

It's a man. I'm a man. I'm not cooking kitchens. But for the sake of this piece, podcast, I cook in the kitchenette. Okay, good little bitch ass kitchenette. Here's the problem with Lucifer. He made a pizza shop. Pizza, contrary to popular belief, is not pasta.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not pasta. Although, yeah, they cook it in the same place, usually.

[Pasta Pasta]

Similar flavors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right?

[Pasta Pasta]

Usually in Italy. Sometimes in Italy.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Italy?

[Pasta Pasta]

Which one?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Italy is where I am from. Is that what you're talking about?

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, but then they'll say the restaurant name.

[Francesca Bolognese]

She just did.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay, no, but she said that's where I'm from.

[Francesca Bolognese]

The country is not Italy.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay, Say the country.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Italy.

[Pasta Pasta]

Say the restaurant.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Italy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say them. Say them both. Back to back.

[Pasta Pasta]

Say them back.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Italy, Italy.

[Pasta Pasta]

Say them three times fast.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Italy, Italy, Italy, Italy.

[Pasta Pasta]

Now sound Western. It sounds western.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Do you think they'll ever be in Italy? Italy, Italy, Italy, Italy, Italy, Italy.

[Sean Disston]

My dad used to do an awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

Character called Shit, Richie's back.

[Sean Disston]

Sorry, I don't want to take up any time.

[Pasta Pasta]

I am going to die. I mean, if you're gonna tell a story, please make it good. Cause I'm gonna pass.

[Gary the Gardener]

I don't think I see Richie. I think I see a new really hungry guy. That just walked into the room.

[Pasta Pasta]

Do you want some pasta?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hungry stew. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Sean Disston]

I could be, like, a guy who loves pasta and is super hungry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hungry stew. Yeah. Hungry stew. Hungry. Yeah. Stew Too much to like your thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, well, plus, the simpsons did this, right?

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, disco stew was hungry.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's crazy.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm about to pass away.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. Pass a pasta. Passa pasta. What do you. What do you want to talk about? What do you want to talk about?

[Pasta Pasta]

This is actually crazy, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Literally insane.

[Pasta Pasta]

Can you believe I came here? My d. I came here. The doctor told me, don't come here. He told me not to come here. He said it's not good for my health or my blood pressure or my cholesterol.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Pasta Pasta]

I still came anyway because I care, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Pasta Pasta]

I care about you. I know we've had our differences back.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have.

[Pasta Pasta]

I. I care.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're another one of these guys I haven't really liked all that much, but.

[Pasta Pasta]

We don't work together. I come here gratis.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's true.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

I come here gratis. Everybody else come and gratis. Anybody getting paid?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Hey, when you're in the kitchenette, could you make us some gratis?

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, you're an.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you like the enemy?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. I thought.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm g. Just come out and say it. I'm g. Just.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't have much time left on this earth. I don't.

[Pasta Pasta]

I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

And lose the filter.

[Pasta Pasta]

Y'all want to talk about the Simpsons?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it? What was your favorite simpsons episode?

[Pasta Pasta]

My favorite simpsons episode?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Episode or person?

[Pasta Pasta]

I've never. Oh, I like bart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

I like, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you like about bart?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Good character. Good character.

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably one of the best characters on the simpsons.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

One of the top five.

[Pasta Pasta]

I like how prominent he was.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you watch a show, you like whoever has the most lines.

[Pasta Pasta]

I count episode by episode. And over time, he had.

[Scott Aukerman]

He had the most lines.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But homer was really rivaling him. Once they figured out what was funny.

[Pasta Pasta]

Sure, sure, sure. But I'm riding for but till the day I die, which is today. In a couple minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Ride or die with bart. But I don't.

[Pasta Pasta]

I don't mean to make. I don't want to bring the mood down. I want to talk about happy things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Talk about happy things. Pasta.

[Pasta Pasta]

Pasta. Okay. Elbow macaroni. That counts.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, yes.

[Pasta Pasta]

I think you were trying to do a bit, but that counts. That's pasta.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yeah. Absol.

[Pasta Pasta]

You could put cheese on it, it's still pasta. Lasagna. Yeah, Pasta.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right.

[Francesca Bolognese]

My favorite pasta is a rice a roni, the San Francisco treat.

[Pasta Pasta]

That's rice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. It's not pasta.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, that's actually just gonna go ahead and be. No, that's rice. That's in the name, baby.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I'm the one from Italy.

[Pasta Pasta]

But, baby, it's in the name Raisa. Roni.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe she's talking about the Roni part of it might be macaroni. You know, that's flavoring.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you just realize 68 years on this earth and you just realized rice a Roni is rice and macaroni?

[Gary the Gardener]

I gotta make some phone calls, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you calling that?

[Gary the Gardener]

My chef.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what are you saying to him?

[Gary the Gardener]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

Or her.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, thank you.

[Pasta Pasta]

And she's cooking in a kitchenette.

[Gary the Gardener]

What's that?

[Pasta Pasta]

Your chef is cooking in a kitchenette. If it's a she.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yeah, that's right.

[Pasta Pasta]

If it's a man, it's a kitchen.

[Gary the Gardener]

Well, I don't subscribe to gender norms, but my chef does. So she cooks in the kitchen. And she wears women's bras.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and she cooks in bras.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Bras for her.

[Gary the Gardener]

Bras for her.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are the other but. Ph.

[Gary the Gardener]

Ballots for a man, for sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. And only a bra.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

But I like it too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Only a bra does. She wears. I'm such a freak.

[Pasta Pasta]

Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not a freak. I'm just.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought he was telling us.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

This guy sucks, right?

[Bill Walton]

Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

I mean, because I came and I thought I was.

[Scott Aukerman]

You hated him.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, no, I said he was an asshole. Don't mean I don't like him.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

And I didn't disagree.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, we do agree on something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gary the Gardener]

This is just like the Last Supper.

[Pasta Pasta]

This is the last Supper. Y'all are my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want something to eat, by the way? I mean, maybe we could make you something to eat.

[Pasta Pasta]

I want a burger.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Pasta Pasta]

I want a burger. Yeah, I haven't had a burger.

[Scott Aukerman]

So unlike you.

[Pasta Pasta]

I know. I haven't had a burger in 61 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're gonna have to call you past a burger.

[Pasta Pasta]

No, they won't. Over my dead body.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

One burger.

[Pasta Pasta]

Which will be in about 30 minutes. Over my dead body.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. Where do you want your remains?

[Pasta Pasta]

I want my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or. Crimeanes.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, well, no, I want. I want them to saw me in half, like at a magician's show. Don't be so disgusted. Don't be so disgusted.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not disgusted. It's just a weird thing.

[Pasta Pasta]

You're looking at me with disdain.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I have a good idea for you. Okay, well, I think we make your body into a filling that we feel. A tortellini wing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, a ravioli wing.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Human raviol.

[Pasta Pasta]

Human ravioli.

[Francesca Bolognese]

You make all the people you are close with eat the ravioli, so, Scott.

[Pasta Pasta]

You'Ll be eating it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think we're that close, are we?

[Pasta Pasta]

I mean, I've been working for you for free.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. All you have to do is ask and I'll pay some money.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that true?

[Pasta Pasta]

Everybody here wants a little money, okay? I'm looking around at my friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got a little walking around money. What do you guys want walking around?

[Francesca Bolognese]

I take a 59.

[Scott Aukerman]

59. Okay, yeah, sure, 59. Add 10 to that, maybe you got something. You know what I'm saying?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Okay.

[Pasta Pasta]

You're a freak.

[Keith Stanley]

You're a freak.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

She's a creep.

[Pasta Pasta]

She's a freak.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I hate this.

[Pasta Pasta]

You want to know what kind of bra the chef is wearing?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah. He sucks.

[Gary the Gardener]

That's the first thing Scott asked in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every restaurant I've been. Excuse me, may I see the chef? What kind of bra do you have on under there?

[Pasta Pasta]

I mean, it's disgusting. It's disgusting. But I do want my body sawed in half. I want the bottom half cremated.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. And the top buried.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, I want my arms rolled up into a pretzel kind of formation. And then I want to be buried.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I like the showmanship.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So if anyone were ever to exhume the body, it would be like, don't do that.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, yeah. It would be like, what are you doing in here? Now, you know you're not supposed to be in here messing around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly.

[Pasta Pasta]

Exactly.

[Gary the Gardener]

That's the only thing that stops a grave robber, is judgment from the corpse.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But that's my dying wish. I do like the idea of putting my body in pasta. Would you eat my ass in a ravioli? That question is for you, Scott. I made direct eye contact.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so. Any part of that sentence.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm not dying.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are dying, but by the time you die, you'll be dead and it won't matter.

[Pasta Pasta]

It will. Cause I'm going be watching down from hell.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think you'll be a ghost? A hell ghost.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'll be a host. I'm going be fucking, too. Cause I couldn't hell. Well, because I couldn't fuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah? Well, once you get to hell. Yeah. You can do all the sins, Pastor.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I never thought about this. Can the people from hell watch us too?

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, they watch. Lucifer told me he's seen all y'all fucking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? What do you think?

[Pasta Pasta]

He says you got some work to do. I actually got a text from him, too. He said Scott has some work to do. I think he thinks his partner is happy. She been talking to me direct.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's not cool. Up's been talking to Satan.

[Pasta Pasta]

He prefers. Because.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he prefers Lou.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, Lou, Lou.

[Scott Aukerman]

Louis Cipher.

[Pasta Pasta]

Louis. Yeah, exactly, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Louis Cipher.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh, no, Louis Cipher.

[Scott Aukerman]

The best snl.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I was like, please don't say it. Please don't say it.

[Pasta Pasta]

You enjoyed his snl.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the best SNL host. Would you. Would you agree?

[Pasta Pasta]

SNL set.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are your favorite hosts?

[Pasta Pasta]

You trying to get me canceled? You're trying to get me canceled right before I pass. It doesn't matter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, say whatever you want to say. Let's cancel.

[Pasta Pasta]

You favorite host.

[Gary the Gardener]

Now, your big thing is pasta, but you're a pastor, so remember that when you're thinking.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Why? Who would you say? Bill.

[Pasta Pasta]

Right.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, it's gotta be Charles Barkley.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Gary the Gardener]

Because did you see him elbowing Barney in that scene?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, elbow macaroni. Okay, so that makes sense.

[Pasta Pasta]

My favorite hosts, I mean, all my favorite hosts are predators and people no one's rooting for.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if they got a predator from the movie Predator to host?

[Pasta Pasta]

That would be incredible. It wouldn't be much unlike the way the show works now.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yeah, you know, Alien would text all his friends and be like, they fucking got predators.

[Scott Aukerman]

They got predators.

[Pasta Pasta]

But then they'd get Alien next season.

[Scott Aukerman]

We both top lined that movie.

[Pasta Pasta]

They'd get Alien the following season. Yeah, I don't really watch snl. I'll be honest with you. Not your thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not?

[Pasta Pasta]

Because it comes on right before church.

[Scott Aukerman]

Literally a half hour before church starts.

[Pasta Pasta]

Half hour before church starts. And so I'm usually preparing for my sermons and such. I don't mean to bring the mood down, but I am going to be passing away in maybe 20 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's coming up. Well, no, I think you a little more than that, but.

[Pasta Pasta]

More than 20 minutes?

[Scott Aukerman]

More than 20.

[Pasta Pasta]

I know I offered to make y'all pasta, but I actually think that's rude that y'all would have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we don't want you to leave. We want you to be. Use your final moments here.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I was really getting hungry.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, if you're hungry, get your ass in the kitchen.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Hey, I thought we were on the Same side.

[Richie Castlebaum]

We are on the same side.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

We hate this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

We do.

[Pasta Pasta]

We do hate.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

He sucks.

[Pasta Pasta]

We do hate him.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but remember, like, how annoying he is, though.

[Pasta Pasta]

No, I don't think he's annoying. I think he's an.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. So he's intentionally annoying.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah. And that's better. That's better. It represents a sort of an awareness.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Wait a minute.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

But that's how you are, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Huh?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Maybe we're not so different after all.

[Scott Aukerman]

BCB.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You're willfully obtuse.

[Scott Aukerman]

We be BFFs.

[Pasta Pasta]

I love this.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

BF's is okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just best friends. But not forever.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Not forever.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Boyfriends.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, boyfriends forever.

[Gary the Gardener]

Put a ring on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never want to get there. It's like, come on.

[Pasta Pasta]

He don't value you. Make it a husband, boyfriend forever, common law.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Richie, what do you got? Oh, I.

[Pasta Pasta]

Just in general, Richard. Just in general, because Richie seems to have tapped out. I'm dying, and that sucks.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Richie is so disconnected from what's happening. Are you checking your stocks or your.

[Sean Disston]

I'm just in awe of all Bitcoin. I mean, I'm tracking all the things that could become catchphrases.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sean Disston]

I'm trying to be respectful of the last few moments on Earth that passed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have anyone you want us to contact?

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, pass.

[Scott Aukerman]

Aposta.

[Pasta Pasta]

Mr. Barilla.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's Mr. Barilla?

[Pasta Pasta]

Creator Barilla Pasta. I've never got to thank him.

[Scott Aukerman]

What. What is the shape of Barilla pasta I'm having? It's a brand.

[Pasta Pasta]

It's a. It's a brand. They got all kinds. They got spaghetti, Ron.

[Scott Aukerman]

Spaghetti and you. That's your favoriteon. Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

Fetuccini, Right? Spaghetti.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Spaghetti. We said that several times. Seems like you know about three pastas today. The last time you had a huge list of about 30 that you went with.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, hold on. Well, hold on now, because you are underestimating me.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Fettuccine, rice, Aroni, lingui.

[Pasta Pasta]

No, I wanna just say. No, I don't like rice. It is the enemy of a pasta.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Well, they're both carbs.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, all carbs are not created equal, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay. Sorry. Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

Fettuccine.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got your list up.

[Pasta Pasta]

Linguine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Pasta Pasta]

Cappellini, Spaghettadini.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Amen.

[Gary the Gardener]

Spaghettadini.

[Francesca Bolognese]

One thing I learned at Italy is that you just add a teeny at the end. It's a new pasta.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay.

[Gary the Gardener]

Have you ever had a Martini Bolognese?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes. Delicious.

[Pasta Pasta]

Hold on, hang on.

[Gary the Gardener]

I actually see Mr. Barillo walking into the room right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Hello, Mr. Barilla.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Gary the Gardener]

Let's check your sodium levels.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Gary the Gardener]

With my thermometer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. He's walking immediately out. Oh, I'm sorry.

[Sean Disston]

I. I got.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had to. Yeah, that was.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, my.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Everyone, everyone, I'm sorry. Have some breaking pasta news.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Pasta Pasta]

What?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Most of the Rice A Roni products contain a rice and pasta mixture.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey.

[Francesca Bolognese]

What I tell you?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

The pasta is either Rosa Marina rice shaped pasta or cut vermicelli, similar to spaghetti, but.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, no.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I killed her.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why kill him?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry.

[Pasta Pasta]

Why don't you respect me stuff?

[Francesca Bolognese]

What about couscous? You like a couscous?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Why are you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No, stay with us. Don't go into the red light.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. I don't think he's dying. Lingu. Linguine.

[Pasta Pasta]

Seems like noodle.

[Francesca Bolognese]

What about King Quinoa?

[Gary the Gardener]

You know, you're killing him.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I'm sorry, I. Does it. I want to make sure I know my past. I work in Italy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Are you sure you're dying and you don't just have to fart?

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, wait.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I mean, you are, so.

[Francesca Bolognese]

That's a fun character. Maybe do something about farts.

[Pasta Pasta]

Farting is good.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Comedy could be anything.

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, yeah, okay. Like Fart Fimson or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, that would be good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't have a.

[Sean Disston]

Eat my farts, man. Yeah, something like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Something. Yeah, but I think you need to work on it and come back with it.

[Sean Disston]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't just launch into it now.

[Sean Disston]

No, no, you're right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're right.

[Sean Disston]

I'll work it in my brain. I'll tune out for a little while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, sounds good to me.

[Gary the Gardener]

But we've got Fart Simpson coming up around the corner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fart Simpson? Yes.

[Pasta Pasta]

I think it's crazy that I'm dying.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not dying.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You just hold on.

[Pasta Pasta]

I actually think it's insane that I'm dying. And y'all just go sit up here and talk about fictional characters.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah, maybe.

[Pasta Pasta]

Nobody else thinks it's crazy. I'm the only one that thinks it's crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I don't know that you're dying. I think that you.

[Pasta Pasta]

What do you mean that I have to. You just think I have to fart?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think that. I think.

[Pasta Pasta]

I think my doctor told me you have to fart in 45 minutes and I misunderstood it as you die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

You think I'm stupid?

[Scott Aukerman]

Could be.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Pastor, what can we do for you to make your final moments comfortable.

[Scott Aukerman]

How can we ease your suffering?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Well, you want me to rub your tummy?

[Pasta Pasta]

I would love for you to rub my tummy. And I would love for Scott to rub my feet.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You want to see a bubble that looks like a penis?

[Pasta Pasta]

I do.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think we all do.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Let me fire up my hot plate here.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right. How long is it going to take for this bubble to be 45 minutes? Oh, she doesn't even have. Or he doesn't even have 45 minutes. I'm sorry. Sorry.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

So rude.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, I got some big hips on me. But that is. No, thick. I'm very thick. Well, you eat pasta every day.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'd love to watch you walk away.

[Pasta Pasta]

But I'm not going to. I'm going to die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're gonna die right here. You die face down. Would that be okay?

[Pasta Pasta]

Ass up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's the way that I like to see you die.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay, great. I could do that for you. Yeah, I'm sure I will. Guys, this has been a pleasure. I'm gonna excuse myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, stay here for.

[Pasta Pasta]

I'm gonna recuse myself from this place.

[Francesca Bolognese]

They have, like, one more question. What about Pharaoh?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, are you leaving or are you staying? I can't quite tell.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, I'm gonna die, but I'm gonna do that somewhere else. That is not to say I won't come back to the podcast in ghost form.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, do you promise to be a ghost next time?

[Pasta Pasta]

I'll be a host.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, yeah. Take the G off. Great.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

We all make a promise.

[Francesca Bolognese]

A hell ghost.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, a hell ghost who is also a hoe.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Okay, can we all make a promise to be ghosts after this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that would be great. Wait, are you saying we should do a suicide pact at the end of the show?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What did you do here?

[Scott Aukerman]

So? Well, pasta. Pasta. It's great to have you on the show. Pass a pasta. Even though you've pronounced it pasta.

[Pasta Pasta]

Because I'm allowed to confuse people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Okay, but I'm the one who should.

[Pasta Pasta]

Be serving because you're a host. Yeah, you're a host.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not a ghost. I'm not a hoe.

[Pasta Pasta]

No, not a ghost or a hoe.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Pasta Pasta]

You probably going to Hell, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think so?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Oh, for sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Check in with Lucifer if you could.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay, well, he doesn't have good things to say about you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? What's he say?

[Pasta Pasta]

Cuz cool up talking to him.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, he's Talked about how the way that pleasure your wife.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, yeah, he has.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

But she.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, you're shaking right now. You're literally shaking.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am. I'm shook right now.

[Pasta Pasta]

You are actually shook by definition. You're shaking. Chicken.

[Scott Aukerman]

Damn.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay, well, I'm gonna go pass away in the bathroom.

[Gary the Gardener]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Face down. Please come.

[Pasta Pasta]

Come in there and check on me, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay. We'll do past the pause, everyone. Great to see you.

[Pasta Pasta]

Rest in peace.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, rest in. Rest in pasta. I got it out first. I did it first.

[Pasta Pasta]

Well, you know.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

We have to take a break. When we return, we'll have more.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but. No, this is my show. You get your own podcast.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

See if I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Oh, man, I would love to see big chunky Bubbles have maybe a CBB Presents episode with big chunky Bubbles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh, what does. Who.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. All right, we are going to go to that break. But Stars, do you guys want to do your second song? You know it?

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah, we're going to play Cableton Hill.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Stars. All right, let's. Let's hear this. So close up the house for one.

[Bill Walton]

More year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every single leaf has turned.

[Richie Castlebaum]

To red.

[Scott Aukerman]

The frost is settling on all the roofs around here do you remember what you said.

[Bill Walton]

200 days ago? When every day everything was lost and everybody closed the door? You looked at me under the lightning tree and asked me what has all of this been for? Wandered far out from cable to moon Fell in the ditch when we stopped for that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I told you we were here to fight I told you we were here to see I told you we were here to keep each other.

[Bill Walton]

Company and it's meant everything A million miles in our sleep A million streets lost in the past there's only memories left to keep now love even we're running fast Wandered far, faithful to me Fell in the ditch when we stopped for that kiss Rolled into knees that were not comfort I forgot that we always wonder I said take me to bed with some hope Kick up the quiet just to keep us afloat when we tip we can swim through the dark Dream up the lines that we cry from the star hand to heart Sweeping up the ashes of the fire from when we set ourselves alight.

[Scott Aukerman]

A.

[Bill Walton]

Different sea of faces singing all our songs to us A different city every night Close up the house for one more year Wave to the lake and drive away.

[Scott Aukerman]

That feeling in your chest.

[Bill Walton]

It is unfair it's just the passing of the day Wonder fallen Fell in the ditch when we see sh. For that gifts born into years that we mark on I forgot that we always want you said let's packages and it out Trade in the city for clouds in the sun Mirrors reflect what's been left in the past Never ends It just might not last but it's a star Hands to heart it's a star Hans her heart It's a sky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Head to heart all right, thank you, stars. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Here's what it is. You create a stunning online presence with Squarespace where you can easily showcase your services. Whether it's, I don't know, consultations, maybe events, experiences, all on a fully customizable website. Just enjoy yourself customizing this thing. You're going to love it. It attracts clients and it's it helps grow your business. Squarespace's cutting edge design tools make it simple for anyone to build a bespoke website that aligns perfectly with their brand. Here's how you start. You start with Blueprint AI their AI AI AI AI powered website builder and create a fully personalized site in just a few steps. Oh, this sounds so futuristic and exciting. Squarespace also helps streamline your entire workflow with built in tools for appointments, scheduling, email marketing and professional invoicing. Plus, get paid on time with branded invoices and seamless online payments. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. What if you could use your home equity to pay off your debt without monthly payments so you could focus on reaching your other financial financial goals With a home equity investment from Hometap, you can get access to your home equity in cash. Get closer to financial freedom and get more out of life. Learn more and see if you pre qualify for an [e-mail] subject to eligibility. Terms and conditions apply. Get access to your home equity in cash. Visit hometap.com to apply in minutes. That's hometap.com Adam Pally here and I'm John Gabris. We're a couple actors and best friends who you may know as the host of the TV show 101 Places to.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Party before you die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now we're bringing you a comedic look at health and wellness with our new show, Staying Alive. We'll have guests like our friend, actor Jerry O'Connell ketamine therapist. Dr. Stephen Radowitz, Paul Scheer, Ego Wodem, Gillian Bell, Dr. Dolittle, staying alive with John Gabris. And Adam Pally is out right now.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Get them a week early and ad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Free with Sirius XM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts. Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. Of course Big Chunky Bubbles is here. Of the. Under duress of the. Oh, where are you from again? What's the what under duress? Is that what you said? Is that where you're from?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Under duress.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we have. Richie Castlebomb is here.

[Sean Disston]

Yes, I'm here.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are here. Francesca Bolognese. Of course.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Of course I am here. I never leave you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love you. I love you. I love you, I love you.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Just kidding.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, shit. I fell for it. And of course Bill Walton is here.

[Gary the Gardener]

I am done. Curtis.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pass to pass. I had to go. Of course Starz is here doing songs from their record from Capleton Hill out there on tour now. What the hell? What is that?

[Richie Castlebaum]

The best thing about being a gardener.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that I like gardening. Hey.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Oh, I'm a gardener. I'm looking my gardening.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. Hey.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Gardening makes me feel good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. Hey. Hey, you. You.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm still a gardener.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, dude, dude, dude, dude. Hey, what's up? What are you doing?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Hey, I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Scott, we're doing a show here. Scott, I'm your garden.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm carry the gardener baby. I had to come blow some leaves. My baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that you. You're the guy who's been blowing all the. The last six months or five months of the show when I've been taping them in my backyard, by the way.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Scott, where the hell are we right now? What is this place?

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a studio. This is the Earwolf Studios. Did you just follow me here?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Scott, I am your gardener, so I follow. I put a tracker on your shoes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Richie Castlebaum]

And I follow you.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of those apple tabs.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I put one of those apple tabs on you. And wherever you are, I'm blowing leaves.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott. Oh, my God, I hate that sound.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You've been doing it intensely sound. I was. Scott, I. I'm kind of the fifth me. Like the fifth character of the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're like what New York is to the turtles.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm the star of the backyard era of comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been ruining the show for the show.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You mean that dulcet tone that's just like a high pitched whistle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you the guy who's also been backing a truck up to. Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And I've been hammering stuff. I had to. A lot of yard work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Triple.

[Richie Castlebaum]

First of all, I'm pretty pissed. This is the first time I've been on the podcast, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, I haven't wanted you on the show. It's an interruption, Scott.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I have a lot of interesting things about me that I feel like you have interested people on the pilot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, it is an open door policy. It's open to anyone who wants to talk. So, I mean, obviously we have Richie here.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah, I don't know. Who the hell is this guy?

[Sean Disston]

Oh, yeah, I'm about to leave now.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Let me ask Scott. Do you want me to keep blowing leaves in here?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want to talk about the interesting things about you?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm fucking a Venus flytrap.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Richie Castlebaum]

I am fucking a Venus flytrap. Is that not interesting?

[Gary the Gardener]

Scott, he's achieved the great dream of mankind. Please tell us more about making love to a Venus flytrap. Everyone's seen one and wants to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, yeah, it's that flower that latches onto something anytime anything passes by. And.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And if you put a penis in there, it will latch on too. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Francesca, what do you think about. Are we talk. Finally talking about penises again?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes, we are talking about penises. I'm sure.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I feel like everybody's trying to leave right now.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah, I really have an important.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You have an important.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I mean, shift a little bit, but then beyond that.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wait, you have to go? And Richie has to go.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I also have to go.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, mostly just because I don't like you.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, stick around, please.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Can I gotta go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you don't like me.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I mean, I get to go because I don't like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. Okay.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I love you.

[Scott Aukerman]

He just started.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I know. I thought there was gonna be a break.

[Scott Aukerman]

So did I. You're. You're like a Ross.

[Sean Disston]

We hit it off, so I'm gonna give her a ride.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I thought we were going to have a break.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Another interesting thing about me.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's just gonna plow through it, I guess, Barreling along.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I only eat human flesh, Scott.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm an opposite of a vegetarian.

[Scott Aukerman]

So for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah, I. I skip lunch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. So for breakfast and dinner, human flesh.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Actually, I have a sensible shake for lunch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Human flesh blended, it's.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's freeze dried flesh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where do you get the flesh? I gotta ask.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Scott, you do not want to know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come on. I really do want to know. Okay.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I get it from a monthly Flesh. Subscription box.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flesh Scription.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's called Flesh Box.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I subscribed to that for a bit, and yeah, it was different than what I thought it was gonna be.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You thought it would be a flashlight in there? You gotta find a Venus fly trap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every month a new flesh.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Are you sure it's not called hello? Flesh?

[Scott Aukerman]

Damn.

[Richie Castlebaum]

That's better. You know, Scott, I'm also a gardener to the stars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? That's right. What star really packed it in?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Well, I. I'm a garden. Stars for such stars as, you know, Kevin Spacey, Bill Cosby, oh, O.J. simpson, and you.

[Francesca Bolognese]

You guys all live next door to each other.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah, it's easy for me to just get them all in at the same day.

[Scott Aukerman]

The house is pretty cheap, I think. The neighborhood, the. The market value. Yeah, everywhere.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You want to ask me any questions about Kevin Spacey?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, what's he doing on. When does he do those videos? Christmas.

[Richie Castlebaum]

He's making a video, Scott.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I wish I didn't like them so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's he do the other 364 days a year?

[Richie Castlebaum]

He's rehearsing the video.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, they're so good.

[Richie Castlebaum]

He's writing, rewriting, getting the writer's room, Breaking off a B room. Rehearsing, doing pre production. And then on Christmas Day, he comes in and he says, well, hello there. Or whatever the.

[Scott Aukerman]

He says, spacey claws. Yeah, he's pretty cool. He is. Really? He's a nice guy. He treats you well?

[Richie Castlebaum]

No. Oh, he treats me pretty poorly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? What does it do? Yeah, it is cool.

[Richie Castlebaum]

He makes me cut all his bushes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Into dicks and then sits on him.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And then he comes in and he slaps him around and sits on him and he says, thank God y'all can't respond.

[Scott Aukerman]

He says, allegedly. Allegedly this happened. I don't know that I believe you.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I can't believe I have all these stories. Scott, tell me a story.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, tell me any kind of story you want. I mean, these guys are okay. I'm looking at their watches.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I got a story. I got a story, Scott. I got a little script I've been working on. Oh, that's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're a screenwriter as well.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I am a screenwriter as well.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

What do you got, like the servant thing?

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's a little something called the Caustic Gardener, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I've heard of the Constant Gardener.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah, but this is the Constant Gardener.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, what did you say? I thought you said caustic.

[Richie Castlebaum]

No, I said the Constant.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said constant. Oh, yeah, yeah. There is a thing called that.

[Pasta Pasta]

There's a thing called that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

What's it about? Is it about a British diplomat? What is it about a British diplomat? Is it about, like, water rights in Africa?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, something like that.

[Richie Castlebaum]

All right, I'm across.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you gotta rewrite.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You know, I. Pissing in all your plants.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I could. I could tell. I'm over pu. Stinky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I. Well, I've been pulling a Weinstein in most of them, so.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Now what the hell does that mean? Walking out in a robe and just kind of letting it swing open.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You got to read up on that story.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You simply must.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I do not know how to read.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, to be in polite society these days, you have to read up on that story.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Oh, I can't be doing that. I'm in the gardens doing all the gardening. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

How you liking your garden so far?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you know, it's. Other than the. The shapes that you've been cutting all the plants in, I mean. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah, it's a butt.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And then there's two hands, sort of spreading them open.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Turn around and. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm doing, like, the. The Ace Ventura thing where he talks.

[Scott Aukerman]

We talked about. But, yeah, it's a little strange. Everyone thinks that Jim Carrey lives where I live, first of all, and then they. They ring the doorbell, expecting me to, like, come out in the mask or whatever and say, smoking. Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Did you know that Sonic 2 is going to be his last movie?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I heard something about that.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Why is everybody screaming?

[Gary the Gardener]

I thought he was back in action, you know, bringing out the old.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, Looney Tunes.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes, Looney Tunes back in action.

[Richie Castlebaum]

One of the great turns of cartoons like Space Jam.

[Gary the Gardener]

A new legacy from Space Jam, A new legacy to.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go. He's doing it. He's ramping up to.

[Gary the Gardener]

To Family Guy on Cartoon Network in the early 2000s.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Wow, he pulled it off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Son of a. He did it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

That Son of a. I want to talk about the slap, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, sure. What do you got?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Was that crazy when Will Smith slapped him?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's all you want to say about it?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah, I just feel like I thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would come in with a take about it. Remember you.

[Gary the Gardener]

You emailed every podcaster trying to get on a podcast the week after a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Slap, and nobody shut down, but that's all you had to say. Yeah, it was crazy.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I personally am glad to hear someone else thought that Was unusual.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Crazy.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I couldn't believe it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I feel like in memorial to that celebrity, I will be cutting a bush in the shape of Chris Rock's surprised face.

[Pasta Pasta]

Okay.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Would you like that bush, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

He didn't. To be honest, all the stills you see, he doesn't look surprised. He looks just more like. Ah. Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

When I watched it, I was like, okay, this is a weird bit they worked out before the show, but then it seemed like it wasn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I don't know. It seems a little late to be talking about this.

[Richie Castlebaum]

What do you mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

It happened like a month ago.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It did?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I was just catching up all bativo stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? You have this on TiVo?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yes. Well, it's hard because I tape four Family Feud episodes a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And I gotta watch all those every night. So to catch up on Family Feud, then I get to watch stuff like the audience.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you fast forward through the commercials? That saves a lot of time.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Oh, no, I watch them at half speed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Half speed? Yeah, slower.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's fun to see Milana Vayatrov or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever at all the commercials talking really low.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And she's just like, oh, well, don't.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You know we all get the best deals.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what you're into.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm into the slow commercial.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you're into a weird gardener.

[Richie Castlebaum]

What the are you talking about?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Wait, I have a question for you. Every time I come to Scott's house and I in the backyard tanning.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You said that pretty weird you be out there tanning. I see.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I always hear little kids nearby somewhere screaming their fucking head off.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Oh, yeah.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Is that you?

[Richie Castlebaum]

No, that's my kids. I lock them in the truck as I work and they basically are screaming, daddy, put the window down. Daddy, put the window down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Seeing the. Lock the window.

[Richie Castlebaum]

No, no, no, no. I want him to get good at being hot.

[Francesca Bolognese]

It's a very important for our climate change.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's an important skill. Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

If you're going to be taking over the family business, you got to be hot because it is hot in your yard.

[Scott Aukerman]

So leave your kids in your car with all the windows rolled out and that'll train them for upcoming climate change.

[Richie Castlebaum]

That's right. Also, do not forget that I am a Venus fly trap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no, that's very important. And you only eat human flesh.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Let's see, what else do I have on the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anything else?

[Francesca Bolognese]

You ever make a pasta, stuffed pasta with a human flesh inside?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, because we have someone dying in the bathroom right now.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Now, I don't know anything about Pasta.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You should have maybe asked those questions a little bit earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Do you want to ask me about a flower?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Sure. What do you think of the lily flower?

[Pasta Pasta]

So beautiful.

[Richie Castlebaum]

The lily flower.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a Everybody love. It's hard to spell.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I. I got to say, when you look at the actual genus name of the lily flower and you to type it in, it's just like L I.

[Francesca Bolognese]

L, L, Y L, I, L, Y I L, Y.

[Richie Castlebaum]

That doesn't make any sense. So it's kind of my least favorite flower.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I got a question.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Big bcb how do you feel about the corpse flower? It's the famous flower that blooms very rarely, but when it does, it smells like human flesh rotting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good or no? Is that what got you into the tasting? The human flesh?

[Gary the Gardener]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Idiot.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Sorry for so weird question. I feel like BCP was asking me an actual question and that you had to come up with some bullshit. Scott, I came in liking you, but now I feel like I'm getting the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Vibe in here that everybody likes.

[Gary the Gardener]

Maybe I'm ghost is supposed to do here.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're supposed to deflect all this. Actually, I can deflect it.

[Gary the Gardener]

I can deflect it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can deflect it.

[Sean Disston]

I got a new character I'm going to play. The dick sucking Venus fly trap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's pretty good. Oh, I don't know.

[Sean Disston]

No, no, I think it's good.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Fuck my mouth. No, I gotta say that. Please.

[Gary the Gardener]

I see you gardening.

[Scott Aukerman]

Will you fuck my mouth?

[Richie Castlebaum]

I gotta say that. A Daryl Hammond level impression of the Venus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[Gary the Gardener]

Let me have it. I'm the throat goat.

[Richie Castlebaum]

This thing is a keeper. I gotta say.

[Gary the Gardener]

The Adidas flytrap. Is that Fart Simpson you're talking to now? Fart Simpson, the best character in all of Fox animation history. But enough about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give me your cup.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm the throat goat. Might be the best catchphrase at CBB history.

[Sean Disston]

That's all I got. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Did Fart Simpson? Come on. I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Fart.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Is that the name of the Venus fly trap that wants to get mouth?

[Sean Disston]

I know his name is Fart Fimson.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I'm asking you.

[Sean Disston]

That's a great idea. See, this is the kind of next level stuff, the Venus Fly trap. Who wants to get mouth is named Fart Fimson.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Okay, hold on. Something over there. Hold on. Let me get that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stop. No, I gotta get it. Stop. Sorry.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's just important I get the leaves because it's important that leaves cannot be on the ground.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, as well as pants. We don't want those on the ground, do you?

[Gary the Gardener]

I say drop those pants. I'll blow something harder than that.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm loving this.

[Gary the Gardener]

Chomp, chomp.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gary, the gardener. Yeah. Scotty, can you stick around? We have one more guest.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah, I think I can stick around, Scott. And maybe I'll come up with a couple more things.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Stick around, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, we have one more. Come on, everyone. Stick around. What do you say? One more person.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Let me look at the clock.

[Scott Aukerman]

So rude to leave.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Let me look at my clog.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a punk rocker. Does that entice you at all?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

A fellow entertainer.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then, by the way, you'll get to plug things if you stick around so that.

[Gary the Gardener]

I got something to plug my mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Richie Castlebaum]

This character.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't have to stick around.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Don't talk about a CVV presents.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's bring him on. He's a punk rocker. He's never been on the show before. Please welcome Keith Stanley.

[Keith Stanley]

Hello, everyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

He's terrific.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. Don't worry.

[Keith Stanley]

I've been waiting for too long.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

He's all keyed up.

[Keith Stanley]

What's going on, everyone? Let's get punk rock, everyone.

[Richie Castlebaum]

This guy.

[Keith Stanley]

Tear down the system.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Holy. This guy's sick as hell.

[Keith Stanley]

What's going on, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi, Keith. Is that how you really talk, or. Yeah, no, last minute.

[Keith Stanley]

This is my actual voice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good to see you.

[Keith Stanley]

Very authentic, and it will sustain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hell, yeah.

[Keith Stanley]

My name's Keith, everyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Keith from the uk, I would imagine.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Th.

[Keith Stanley]

Well, it's spelled on me birth certificate with a th, but everyone called me Keith, and I'll roll with it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

That's the punky I ever heard in my life.

[Keith Stanley]

Oh, it's very punk. Birth certificate's a man. Tear it down. Burn down your birth certificate.

[Gary the Gardener]

Birth certificate in front of us.

[Keith Stanley]

I'll pro it. And it's. Oh, no, you can turn your volume.

[Scott Aukerman]

Down, Scott, for everyone. Really? Wow. Interesting.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Not for me now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Keith Stanley]

I see you turn your volume.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. I am turning my volume.

[Keith Stanley]

Too much punk rock for you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, it's not that it's too punk. It's maybe too loud.

[Keith Stanley]

Oh, shame.

[Pasta Pasta]

Yeah.

[Keith Stanley]

Distinction.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So now you play punk music or you listen to punk music?

[Keith Stanley]

I listen to it. I'll play it or breathe it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

So he does all of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Keith Stanley]

Anything with punk rock music, man. That's me, Jam. I'm a bass player primarily, but I'll play Anything a punk band needs. I'll play a drum, I'll play a guitar. I'll play, you know, a noise rifle, sort of synthesizer, augmenting. You got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. No, yeah. Any of the instruments.

[Keith Stanley]

We are nodding pretty early.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Do I know any of your songs, Keith?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Keith Stanley]

I'll refuse to release them publicly. If you want to hear my music, you gotta buy it right out of me hands. I'll press it only on old 78 speed acetate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Keith Stanley]

Remember me to Victrola to play more music.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That's pretty fucked. Wrong.

[Richie Castlebaum]

That's pretty fucked.

[Keith Stanley]

Come to me. I got a Toyota Celica. Champagne colored Toyota Celica. Come find me after me show. I'll send it to you right out of me trunk. And that's the only way to hear my music.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the only way to hear your music. Wow.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Are you part of the great punk rock movement we were promised would come out of the Trump administration?

[Scott Aukerman]

Some great protest songs that.

[Keith Stanley]

Were you a writer for Atlantic magazine? Are you a think piece?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No, I'm a fellow entertainer.

[Pasta Pasta]

Oh.

[Keith Stanley]

What's your medium big chunky bubble. Good for you, mate.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys should. Should team up and do shows together.

[Keith Stanley]

I have big chunky bubbles.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have such similar energy.

[Keith Stanley]

Because the man and the system has little tiny smooth bubbles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Exactly.

[Keith Stanley]

And punk rock bubbles are big and chunky and they smell like tomato based.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You get me?

[Richie Castlebaum]

I feel like I want to join this band too.

[Keith Stanley]

You're in.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I pay. I play a one note instrument that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just kind of whines and is super loud.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You want to hear it? Okay, you asked for it. Here we go, dude.

[Gary the Gardener]

Three, four.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Keith Stanley]

Take that. The man burn down our system.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Richie Castlebaum]

We wrote a song almost instantaneously.

[Scott Aukerman]

So Keith, what's going on? Do you have a. Do you have a real job as well?

[Keith Stanley]

Yeah, I'll do everyday job. Thank you for asking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Where do you work?

[Keith Stanley]

I'm a town planner for Ridgefield, Connecticut. I'm in charge of overseeing zoning, commercial residential, protecting a 2 acre zone that the rich folks like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're protecting the interests of the rich people.

[Keith Stanley]

And they drive me mad. And that's why I need to express myself at night with me punk rock music.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. How many hours a week though are you doing your normal work day job?

[Keith Stanley]

60 to 70 hours.

[Scott Aukerman]

60, 70 a week. Wow.

[Keith Stanley]

Sneak out at the end and put in a cool 45 minutes at the punk rock club.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Keith Stanley]

And I'll stick a tin a man something fierce.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I should maybe describe you more as like a zoning guy than a punk rocker, right?

[Keith Stanley]

I mean, I'm a punk rocker. Town planning's merely an avocation.

[Scott Aukerman]

And by the way, you're from Connecticut?

[Keith Stanley]

That's correct. Fairfield County, Connecticut. The most rich and austere of the Connecticut counties.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Can I ask you a city planning question?

[Keith Stanley]

Of course, but I won't pretend to like it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Okay, so I'm. I'm a big national parks guy, you know?

[Gary the Gardener]

Sure.

[Keith Stanley]

Who is it?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Why don't we have more national parks in the middle of cities?

[Keith Stanley]

What an insane question, mate. What you say we should set up a nature preserve in the middle of a commercial zone? You plummet the economy. You need sidewalks, mate. And buses. That's the heart of any good civic planning.

[Richie Castlebaum]

This dude's making a lot of sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a commercial planner. He's not a punk rocker. I'm a punk rocker.

[Richie Castlebaum]

That's not very.

[Keith Stanley]

I'll tell you this about national parks, mate. They're lovely, but they're sort of a bit woke, you know what I mean?

[Pasta Pasta]

They're performing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know that.

[Keith Stanley]

Who hates to woke? Everyone raise their hands.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I hate walking.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I like to call them wokes, like John Cleese does.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The Woking Dead is what I call them. Right? Yeah, that's right.

[Keith Stanley]

So you know the wokies, the walking, the walking dead, they lost.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're having trouble with the accent.

[Keith Stanley]

It's more real voice.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard it since you're from Connecticut. You admitted he admit it. Yeah, all from Connecticut.

[Keith Stanley]

But punk rock is so strong in me marrow.

[Scott Aukerman]

When did you start talking like this?

[Keith Stanley]

Always go.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was the first punk rock record you ever. What was the first punk rock record you ever heard? The Eye of a Head. Yeah, it. And when was this?

[Keith Stanley]

Basket Case by Green Day this morning.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you just turned punk today?

[Keith Stanley]

Song Green Day. Naming their album Dookie or punk rock move.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you haven't. You haven't played any shows?

[Keith Stanley]

Yes, I have. I did today.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did. You did this afternoon. You played a punk show. Like a matinee.

[Keith Stanley]

Played a punk rock show. A matinee in the outside in the parking lot of me town planning office.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you get the. The right permits for this?

[Keith Stanley]

No way. I did fill them out out of habit. And then I tore him up at the last second. I strapped on me base. I said, you Ridgefield.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I ask you a question?

[Richie Castlebaum]

How did you talk yesterday?

[Keith Stanley]

Let's say.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's all this?

[Keith Stanley]

Focus on my voice. Oh, I've been.

[Scott Aukerman]

It just is so ridiculous.

[Keith Stanley]

It's very real.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I make your pardon. I beg your pardon.

[Keith Stanley]

I've never had a more real voice in my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. So you listen to Basket Case this morning?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The rest of the album? No, no, just that one song.

[Keith Stanley]

I would have a cd, right, in an old Walkman. And I put it in and it started skipping on track two, so I couldn't finish. But I was like, I don't need anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you listened to the one song, you said, I like this lifestyle so much. I'm gonna play. I'm gonna tear up these permits that I made myself. Right.

[Keith Stanley]

Well, just out of habit, you know, put out the paper. Got a habit of filled out permits for a punk rock show in the parking lot. So do you think.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think this is gonna. Gonna stick with you? Yeah. Have you. Have you done this with other types of music in the past? I mean, are you kind of a chameleon?

[Keith Stanley]

Yeah, I've had a bit of couple phases, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like what?

[Keith Stanley]

Oh, it's a bit Led Zeppelin fan last week.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? What was your favorite song? Or did you only hear one?

[Keith Stanley]

I only heard a whole lot of love.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Was it a Dodge commercial that you heard it in?

[Keith Stanley]

Yeah, it was a Dodge commercial and my favorite commercial jingle, right. It was Led Zeppelin.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in the market to buy a Dodge.

[Keith Stanley]

I've been looking for a good Dodge for quite a while.

[Richie Castlebaum]

What's that?

[Gary the Gardener]

I said, don't get rid of the Celica, but I stepped on your thunder.

[Keith Stanley]

That's all right. Appreciate you keeping track of me continuity, mate.

[Francesca Bolognese]

You can buy a Dodge a bit better than beyond in the beyond section.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? You can buy cars?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes, you can buy cars.

[Keith Stanley]

It's very punk rock.

[Francesca Bolognese]

It's a very punk rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think that's punk rock.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

That's very punk rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

Punk rock about it. It's commercialism.

[Keith Stanley]

Punk rock's relative to the base. So if the base is bed and bath and then you've got a Dodge truck, that's punk rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a big corporation selling something. How is that?

[Keith Stanley]

All you've got to do is break expectations. If you go into lots. If you went into the 1970s, right, New York City went to CBGBs, and in the back there was a stockbroker.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think CBGB's is?

[Keith Stanley]

I think it's a deli.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what does the C stand for? What is it, Capicoli? Yeah, the C and A B is the same thing.

[Keith Stanley]

If you went in the back of a CBGB deli and it's punk Rock. And there's a stockbroker. He's punk rock when he's in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Keith Stanley]

Because you know, to be mainstream, it's sort of like Paul McCartney's the most punk rock of the Beatles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Keith Stanley]

Because he sort of dares to be square, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, John Legend.

[Keith Stanley]

Then. It's easy to be cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's easy to be cool because you're not.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You reacted so strongly, it's insane. Do people look at me?

[Keith Stanley]

Pink mohawk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Keith Stanley]

I assume. How many how to walk down the street and survey everyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did your bosses think when you got this pink mohawk today?

[Keith Stanley]

They paid me little mind.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wouldn't really.

[Keith Stanley]

I felt they were stubbornly ignoring.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I wouldn't really call it a pink mohawk. It just looks like you. You used your hands and pulled your like hair to a point.

[Scott Aukerman]

And your hair is thinning pretty bad.

[Keith Stanley]

My remaining hair into a midsection and. Tell me it's not pink. You can't tell me it's not.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean your whole. The top of your head is pink from a bad sun wrapped.

[Keith Stanley]

I grabbed my. I did sunburn me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I. I think people just thought your entire thing is your sunburn.

[Keith Stanley]

I don't think so. I took a can of bright pig spray paint, sprayed the middle. My little comb over it is bright pink.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a little Larry David.

[Keith Stanley]

Yeah, it's a little Larry David. God bless him.

[Francesca Bolognese]

What are you wearing? A khaki pants. Khaki pants and a polo blue.

[Keith Stanley]

Polo.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yeah, Polo under.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Now how is that punk?

[Keith Stanley]

Depends where you are, mate. You know, if you. If you're walking down, you know, Soho of London in like 70s.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think Soho is?

[Keith Stanley]

I think Soho, sort of. I think it's what's stand for. I think it's stands for so open. Hetero.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. No, it's decidedly not that.

[Keith Stanley]

Hombres. Very progressive heterosexual men call each other.

[Gary the Gardener]

When we're rolling down the street.

[Keith Stanley]

So open at our own brace.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No, Soho. But listen, why is everyone attacking this gentleman? He's an entertainer. He's literally living his truth. Leave him alone.

[Keith Stanley]

Yeah, I feel like everyone's trying to tell me that I'm not a real punk rocker.

[Francesca Bolognese]

I think you are. And I think Fitbit and Beyond is also a very punk rock.

[Keith Stanley]

I mean the beyond section definitely is punk rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about the bed section?

[Keith Stanley]

The bed's not. Depends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Going to sleep isn't punk.

[Keith Stanley]

I don't think so. Not a Bed, Bath and Beyond.

[Scott Aukerman]

Being awake isn't punk. I'll tell you that much.

[Keith Stanley]

It depends where you are. Scott. If you were in the middle of a New York marathon and you went to sleep.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's punk rock.

[Keith Stanley]

Brother makes it.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

It is true.

[Keith Stanley]

But you know, and if you. And if you. If you want staying awake to be punk rock, you'd have to go to a sleeping I protest where everyone's sleeping for peace. And you stay awake.

[Francesca Bolognese]

That's punk rock, brother.

[Richie Castlebaum]

I gotta be honest, when you started, I feel like you were screaming. Now you're kind of run out of.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are just running out of steam.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Down to a whisper almost.

[Gary the Gardener]

The way you're describing punk rock to me, it sounds like just not. It sounds like being annoying.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're an opposite guy. Just a. Just a contrary individual.

[Gary the Gardener]

I think you're more of a libertarian than a punk rocker.

[Keith Stanley]

Not true.

[Scott Aukerman]

What. What do you think about taxes?

[Keith Stanley]

I hate him.

[Gary the Gardener]

Well, that's John Lennon.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No, that's George Harrison.

[Keith Stanley]

George Harrison. He's very punk rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're like. You're like the libertarian that we all work with at the office. Who wants to talk to you about libertarianism at lunch?

[Keith Stanley]

Disagree. Me and the rest of me, Ron Paul fans. I love Ron Paul, but not for his libertarianism.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, what do you like about him?

[Keith Stanley]

Two first names.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two first names. Great.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

And one of them, that's punk rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul McCartney.

[Keith Stanley]

That's right. The most punk rock of the Beatles.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Who's the most punk rock comedian? Bill Maher.

[Keith Stanley]

That's a great pick, but I feel.

[Gary the Gardener]

He makes too many rules.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think they're new. They're new. Ricky Gervais breaks them.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, my gosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

He breaks the rules. That Bill Maher was Devon.

[Keith Stanley]

What? He's gonna say he tells rich people they're cool, then he tells handsome people they're cool. You never know. He's kissing the ass of the popular and the rich.

[Scott Aukerman]

How Punk rock I don't think you've ever seen. You've never seen Ricky Gervais bit.

[Keith Stanley]

I've switched the channels and seen them and I'm flipping by.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you're looking for those Dodge commercials to watch.

[Keith Stanley]

Oh, I wish I could find a good Dodge.

[Gary the Gardener]

You gotta go to I spot Dodge tv.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Gary the Gardener]

It's a website where you can see every commercial search Dodge.

[Keith Stanley]

Oh, you're doing plugs early.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that?

[Gary the Gardener]

I'd like to plug iSpot TV. Now, if you've shot a commercial and want to know if you're getting paid properly, you gotta start an account.

[Richie Castlebaum]

There isn't one of the great websites.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

This is bleak.

[Gary the Gardener]

Oh, my God. I spot on TV. One of the great websites from RedTube.com.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

To Google.com, stick your premium.

[Keith Stanley]

Oh, I feel the most. I know you're trying to wrap up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Would it surprise you to know that I'm trying to. Trying to sandman you off the stage at this point?

[Richie Castlebaum]

I'm trying to wrap up. So the punk rock thing to do is to really stop that from happening.

[Keith Stanley]

There's nothing more punk rock than being told to get off the stage. You're validated.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Boo.

[Scott Aukerman]

You suck.

[Keith Stanley]

I love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You suck.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Like that punk rock show, the Apollo Tiger.

[Keith Stanley]

The Apollo rock show would be so punk rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh. Well, it's great to meet you. Thank you so much. And I tell you, this is a returning real guy.

[Richie Castlebaum]

This guy will be back.

[Gary the Gardener]

Gotta come back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gotta come back. Yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Don't forget the throat goat himself.

[Scott Aukerman]

The throat goat right over here. Punk rock. Give me that. Punk rock.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Oh, yeah. More like like spunk rock, right?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Make the T shirt.

[Scott Aukerman]

T shirts in production now. All right, guys. Well, we are running out of time. I'm so sorry to cut you shorts. Keith, Cut your shorts.

[Keith Stanley]

Thanks for having me cut my shorts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, fart fart Simpson. We only have time for one final thing on the show, and that is a little something called plugs. The what you want, baby.

[Bill Walton]

So what are you going to choose?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You're scratching. I don't have a headphone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes. That was evil step twin with Prince of plugs. Thank you to evil step twin. Yeah, that was terrific. F. Oh, you liked it? Oh, okay. Interesting.

[Keith Stanley]

That's not a slam mod. My taste is supreme.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, I want to say I have a very exciting plug coming up, but I want to save that for the very end. Let's.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You're retiring.

[Gary the Gardener]

Throw it down. Give junky Bubbles the roast of the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Century to have the episode one of the great roasts.

[Gary the Gardener]

One of the great roasts from, of course, rest in peace, the Aristocrats, Gilbert.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gottfried to Don Rickles.

[Gary the Gardener]

Making fun of. Of black people and Asians.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Bill, is there anything that you want to plug?

[Gary the Gardener]

Well, I suppose I'd rather have 43 eyes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, no, no, no. We're not doing. Would you rather. No, no. Oh, this is plugs. This is a different segment.

[Gary the Gardener]

When's this coming out?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Bring that back.

[Gary the Gardener]

So I would like to plug. If you go to Big Grande website dot com. I believe at this point you'll be able to buy live improv shows from the group Big Grande. The whole premise of these shows is that they are fully Production designed full hair and makeup, but none of the improvisers knew what the set or the other characters were gonna look like till they stepped on stage. That is a 30 minute episode. You can watch one of them for free and then buy the rest if you like them.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, that'[e-mail]. correct. Okay, fantastic.

[Gary the Gardener]

Answered that in one of the great websites. Websites thing earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I've never seen such remorse from a person. Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're in tears.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

You're really mad at yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

You suck down onto one knee like Colin Kaepernick and you're crying.

[Gary the Gardener]

I'm protesting my own stupidity.

[Scott Aukerman]

BCB pd. What do you want to plug here?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Well, I've started archiving my shows. I unfortunately don't have my own domain. It's been stolen from me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Someone took big chunky Bubbles Chunk or what are they?

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Chunky Bubbles Chunk.

[Keith Stanley]

A great domain.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

There's some company that makes peanut butter out of soap and they were like, hooray.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

So go to PaulFtompkins.com live where you can see all of my erotic bubble shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, fantastic. I'm gonna go there right now. And Francesca, what would you want to plug?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Okay, so first I'd like to plug Italy, the store slash restaurant. And I would also like to blog. This book changed my life on CBs. B presenta. And, oh, a show called Killing it on Peacock.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, we just talked about that last week.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Yes, we did.

[Scott Aukerman]

With Claudia. Claudia.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Claudia. And then finally. Oh, L I L Y Y, I L Y.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're speaking gibberish right now. Have no idea what you're saying. All right, social media, move on to Richie Castle Bomb, or whoever you're playing right now.

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, I'm back to my.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're back. Okay, great.

[Sean Disston]

I can't sustain fart.

[Scott Aukerman]

You burned hot like Icarus. You flew too close to the sun. I'll.

[Sean Disston]

I'll plug the.

[Scott Aukerman]

He should be famous for something else. You know what I mean? Like, that's the only thing we think of.

[Gary the Gardener]

He was in prison with his dad. That's interesting, right?

[Richie Castlebaum]

Eternals.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, all right, that's true.

[Sean Disston]

Fair Nintendo game.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay, you're right. Okay, I'm sorry.

[Sean Disston]

I'll plug the first two seasons of Righteous Gemstones on hbo. Max.

[Scott Aukerman]

Only the first two?

[Sean Disston]

Yeah, just the first two.

[Scott Aukerman]

People should stop watching after that.

[Sean Disston]

Wow, way to show that you haven't watched any of it, because there's only.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know there's only two, but people are listening to this in the future.

[Sean Disston]

Oh, sure, yeah.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Okay.

[Sean Disston]

In three years from now, please watch more seasons.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

One of it's like the future people from. From A.I. oh, yeah. Where they're just like these silvery ghost people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you've sunk down to one knee again.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

I think I got dosed.

[Gary the Gardener]

You my mind and my mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he's back.

[Sean Disston]

And listen to hey, Randy on cbb world.com.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that's a good show. All right. And Gary the gardener, what do you want to play?

[Richie Castlebaum]

What's up? I did the gardening for a time television show on. On Hulu called Woke. We were talking about it earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Talking about that word? Yes, we were talking about.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's called woke. It's not the woke. It's a fun show with Lamord Morris and a bunch of other people. It's very fun. And also, I listen to this podcast called Scott hasn't seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you heard this? Oh, I've heard. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm on it, actually.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Are you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm the titular Scott.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Really? Because you're much more interesting on that show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I mean, yeah, I got a lesson.

[Pasta Pasta]

Chill.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And you might, like, talk about your life in a real way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I take it back se to that.

[Richie Castlebaum]

And this sprag guy. I gotta say, I love this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Speaking of fake accents. I mean, nothing, sir.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Hold on. What are you saying about me?

[Francesca Bolognese]

Sprag?

[Pasta Pasta]

I.

[Richie Castlebaum]

We're about to record an episode in here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sprag. Yeah, I know. We're. I'm doing back to back episodes. Yeah. Meaning we're back to back while we record it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yeah. Then we're Gonna, like, take 10 paces.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then turn around and shoot pod.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Anyways, I'm out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Scott.

[Richie Castlebaum]

So that's all I wanted to plug.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. Okay, great. Gary the gardener and Keith Stanley, what do you want to plug?

[Keith Stanley]

Hello. I've got two things to plug.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on.

[Richie Castlebaum]

What's this accent up? Here you go. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Judge it. What do you think? What do you think?

[Richie Castlebaum]

To be honest, it's one of the greatest accents I've ever heard in my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're sounding a little more like one.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Of the greatest accents of all time. From Oscar Isaac on the show Moon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Knight to that one above the the O in Motley Crue. Yes.

[Richie Castlebaum]

All right, well, I'm out of here.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Throw it down.

[Gary the Gardener]

Yes, sir.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was more of an oomlat, I guess.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Did someone mention Moon Knight?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Oscar Isaac is here. Or Steven Grant.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's me, Stephen Grant. I woke. How'd I get here, I woke up. Last thing I remember was falling asleep at a museum in it.

[Gary the Gardener]

Hi, Stephen. You missed the date. We had a nice date planned two nights ago, and you absolutely missed it.

[Richie Castlebaum]

All right, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, look, Gary, if you haven't watched.

[Richie Castlebaum]

Yet, I can't be fucking with no spoilers. Did you want to plug something, Keith?

[Keith Stanley]

I'll forget. Oh, yeah, unplug. You can't handle the Sleuths. That's also with CBB presents with a brilliant comedian named Will Hines. And also a second podcast he does called Screw It. We're just gonna talk about comics now, Scott, I don't know if you got any comic book fans in your audience.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think, yeah, I think a few.

[Keith Stanley]

Well, they might like this podcast where two brothers talk about comic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is the brothers part of it? Is that important to the podcast or.

[Keith Stanley]

Not really, but it's the closest we have to a hook they have.

[Richie Castlebaum]

You know, I do the gardening for Will hines. Kevin Spacey, O.J. simpson, Scott Arkham.

[Keith Stanley]

He's a deplorable and appalling human being. All right, but what a comic book authority.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bye. Bye. All right, now I want to plug. I said I had a very exciting plug. Guys, the Comedy Bang Bang tour is coming. I am announcing it here. All of that's right. Scream out there. And Also I'll plug cbb world.com. a lot of great shows over there, including we just did a CBB FM with weirdo Yankovic. All right, let's close up the old plug.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Really drop that name there.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, he was on the show. I'm plugging.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

No, sure, Say it again.

[Keith Stanley]

Oh, very punk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kind of punk. Take one hand, put it up.

[Bill Walton]

Take the other, put it down.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're gonna make a box.

[Bill Walton]

It's time to start to close it.

[Keith Stanley]

I hope it's the home's song.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know it's still going.

[Richie Castlebaum]

It's important to get the guitar sold out now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wonderful. That was say It Ain't Plugs by Josh Goodman. Thank you so much to Josh. And guys, I want to thank you so much. I really appreciate everyone coming by, even you, big chunky donuts. From what I'm told, I will be so that'll make you happy. And of course, before we close up the show, we want to hear one last song from our friends and stars.

[Pasta Pasta]

Happy anniversary, Scott. Happy anniversary.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go.

[Bill Walton]

What's become of you? In my bed painted the walls with all those pretty things. You said I was the girl you were the round we were certain it would go on when we were happy Hopping to the star we said goodbye to the D Foyer unfolded we were rocker fellows we were the best of the protector Wonders are our best on beyond forever Turn your face towards the sun because the sky's a hundred shades of honey I don't recognize that place Was it her? Did she leave that place? When we were happy happy time starts we said goodbye to the D4.

[Scott Aukerman]

We.

[Bill Walton]

Were rocker fellows we were the best of the pretenders are our best on being young forever when we were happy happy winter sk we set the d unfolding yeah we were rock of friends we were the best of the pretenders on our best on being young forever we made our our beds we lay our beds on beyond forever we made our beds we laid our bets on being one one forever.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, that's it. Thanks, everyone. We'll see you the next 13 years. Bye. Adam Pally here and I'm John Gabri.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

We're a couple actors and best friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who you may know as the host of the TV show 101 Places to.

[Big Chunky Bubbles]

Party before you die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now we're bringing you a comedic look at health and wellness with our new show, Staying Alive. We'll have guests like our friend, actor Jerry O'Connell, ketamine therapist Dr. Stephen Radowitz, Paul Shear, Ego Wodem, Gillian Bell, Dr. Dolittle staying alive with John Gabrison. Adam Pally is out right now. Get them a week early and ad free with SiriusXM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Pasta Pasta]

Did you know that parents rank financial.

[Scott Aukerman]

Literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications.

[Francesca Bolognese]

Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely.

[Scott Aukerman]

And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast at.

[Pasta Pasta]

Strayer University, we help students like you go from will I touch? So why not? For over 130 years, we've been innovating higher education to make it more affordable, accessible, and attainable so you can reach your goals. Go from thinking, can I? To yes, I can? And keep striving. Visit strayer. Edu to learn more. Strayer University is certified to operate in Virginia by Chev and its many campuses, including at 2121 15th Street north in Arlington, Virginia.