Bonus Bang: Flula Borg, Shaun Diston, Lily Sullivan (I Love Lily)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Bonus Bang: Flula Borg, Shaun Diston, Lily Sullivan (I Love Lily)
Release Date: July 10, 2025

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Overview

In this bonus episode of Comedy Bang Bang, host Scott Aukerman revisits one of Comedy Bang Bang’s standout episodes from December 9, 2018. Titled "Misperd," this episode marks the debut of Lily Sullivan as Kayla Dickey and features recurring guests Flula Borg and Shaun Diston portraying Sprague the Whisperer. The episode intertwines hilarious improvisations with an eccentric narrative about big trucks and peculiar characters, showcasing the show's signature blend of celebrity interviews and unique comedic interactions.

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Flula Borg’s Introduction and Projects

[07:00 – 16:00]

Scott Aukerman begins by warmly welcoming Flula Borg back to the show, humorously attributing his return to a "champion" status due to his recurring appearances. Flula discusses his various ventures, notably his new podcast Boom Time, where he engages guests in a playful game centered around his catchphrase, "boom time."

Notable Quote:

• Flula Borg: “You have to chug it before you can lug it.” [12:16]

Flula elaborates on his podcast’s format, emphasizing its brevity and comedic elements. He also touches upon his experience opening for Conan O'Brien and his unique approach to humor, which often leaves audiences guessing his comedic intent.

Scott Aukerman: “You just put your stuff out there. You don't know if people think it's funny, if people think it's serious.” [09:19]

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Sprague the Whisperer’s Role

[04:30 – 07:00]

Shaun Diston reprises his role as Sprague the Whisperer, an enigmatic advisor clad in a cloak. Sprague introduces himself as someone who has "whispered into the ears of very important men and women," albeit in a cryptic and humorous manner.

Notable Quote:

• Sprague the Whisperer: “Scott, I believe you’re gonna be a contestant? No, Scott, I can help you in any way.” [31:00]

Sprague attempts to pitch various entertainment ventures to Scott and Flula, including reboots of classic ninja franchises. His over-the-top proposals and whimsical demeanor add a layer of absurdity to the conversation, highlighting the show's improvisational strengths.

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Attempted Co-Hosting and Ninja-Themed Show

[18:00 – 38:00]

Flula, inspired by Sprague’s antics, suggests a co-hosting collaboration with Scott. The trio embarks on a comedic plot to develop a ninja-themed show, complete with magical costumes that appear to attach themselves spontaneously.

Notable Quote:

• Sprague the Whisperer: “We need ninja representation in the writer’s room, Scott.” [38:17]

Their interactions escalate into physical comedy as Scott inadvertently dons a skin-tight ninja suit, leading to a series of humorous mishaps. This segment underscores the playful chemistry between the guests and host, embodying the show's improvisational charm.

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Introduction of Kayla Dickey and the Big Truck Narrative

[41:00 – 82:58]

The episode introduces Lily Sullivan as Kayla Dickey, who brings a unique storyline involving her boyfriend Cart and his obsession with big trucks. Kayla describes their journey, emphasizing the grandeur of Cart’s new Ford "Rock Hard 250" truck.

Notable Quote:

• Kayla Dickey: “He’s a baker. He works at Baked in Montrose.” [43:25]

As the conversation unfolds, a fictional backstory emerges about a mayor named Judd Weeby who mysteriously disappeared after starting multiple fires, leading to a quirky quest by Kayla and Cart to find him. This subplot blends surreal humor with character-driven storytelling, showcasing the podcast’s ability to craft engaging and unconventional narratives.

Key Points:

• Truck Specifications: The Ford Rock Hard 250 is highlighted for its immense size, featuring eight-foot-tall wheels and impressive horsepower. This serves as a symbol of Cart’s masculinity and their relationship dynamics.

• Relationship Dynamics: Kayla discusses the mix of excitement and insecurities stemming from Cart’s truck obsession, intertwining it with humorous remarks about perceived inadequacies.

• Judd Weeby’s Mythical Quest: The trio invents a lore around Judd Weeby, creating a comedic mythos that includes his disappearance, possible ninja affiliations, and ongoing rumors circulated on social media platforms.

Notable Quote:

• Kayla Dickey: “Judd was a mentor. Judd was a leader. Judd was to whom we both... fucked Judd.” [62:35]

The segment culminates in an exaggerated and humorous portrayal of their search for Judd, blending elements of slapstick and absurdity.

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Plugs and Closing Remarks

[76:00 – 82:58]

As the episode nears its end, Scott Aukerman facilitates closing plugs where each guest promotes their respective projects. Flula advertises his podcast Boom Time, Sprague the Whisperer shares updates on his producing endeavors, and Kayla underscores the ongoing narrative around the big truck and relationships.

Notable Quote:

• Flula Borg: “My podcast. Boom Time and subscribe it and love it and hug me digitally if you like.” [77:17]

In typical Comedy Bang Bang fashion, the episode wraps up with a blend of humor and light-hearted farewells, leaving listeners amused and entertained by the whimsical interactions and inventive storytelling.

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Conclusion

This bonus episode of Comedy Bang Bang exemplifies the show’s unique ability to blend celebrity interactions with creative improvisation. Through the dynamic trio of Flula Borg, Sprague the Whisperer, and Lily Sullivan, the episode offers a memorable mix of humor, fictional narratives, and engaging character portrayals. Whether through the absurdity of ninja reboots or the elaborate tale of big trucks and missing mayors, Scott Aukerman ensures that listeners are both entertained and intrigued, reaffirming why Comedy Bang Bang remains a beloved staple in the comedy podcast landscape.

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Notable Quotes and Timestamps:

• Flula Borg: “You have to chug it before you can lug it.” [12:16]
• Scott Aukerman: “You just put your stuff out there. You don't know if people think it's funny, if people think it's serious.” [09:19]
• Sprague the Whisperer: “Scott, I believe you’re gonna be a contestant? No, Scott, I can help you in any way.” [31:00]
• Sprague the Whisperer: “We need ninja representation in the writer’s room, Scott.” [38:17]
• Kayla Dickey: “Judd was a mentor. Judd was a leader. Judd was to whom we both... fucked Judd.” [62:35]
• Flula Borg: “My podcast. Boom Time and subscribe it and love it and hug me digitally if you like.” [77:17]

These quotes encapsulate the episode’s humor and the personalities of the guests, highlighting the playful and improvisational nature of Comedy Bang Bang.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

With McValue at McDonald's, you don't just get deals on the drinks, you get deals on McDonald's drinks. So when you're breaking a sweat, embrace the chill without breaking the bank. And when your crew is running on empty, keep your wallet full while refreshing the squad.

[Lily Sullivan]

Get more than you expect on your favorite medium drinks like frozen fantablue, raspberry iced coffee or lemonade. Now at just $2.29. Price of participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer but up.

[Scott Aukerman]

We quilt this city. We quilt this city with a comfy.

[Lily Sullivan]

Roll with quilted Northern to be specific.

[Scott Aukerman]

So cushy and so plushy. Just give it a try. Feeling is believing. Quilted with three cushy layers for your comfort. The quilted comfort of Quilted Northern. We know what's comfy and now you do too. Keep it quilted with quilted Northern. Hey, everyone, this is Scott Aukerman, host of Comedy Bang Bang. And welcome to another bonus bang where we re release our great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. And we're starting a new series this week. Very exciting. What is this one called? This is called I love Lily. I love Lily. Da da da da. That's right. It's featuring our very own Lily Sullivan. It's finally time to give her a shout out. And we are going to start this series this week with Lily's very first appearance on Comedy Bang Bang. This episode is called Misperd and originally released on December 9, 2018 as episode 577. That's right. I mean, Lily only started doing the show in late 2018. Hard to believe this one features Flulaborg, the great Flula Borg. We also have Sean Disston as Sprague the whisperer and of course Lily Sullivan as quote girlfriend Kayla Dickey. Kayla Dickey is a classic character. You'll hear all about her. She's going to talk about her boyfriend's big truck, amongst other things. This is a really great episode and a great debut from Lily. We're going to be hearing from Lily for several weeks now. If you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, well, there's an easy way to do it. Become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the archives. Every live show we've ever done ad free new episodes. And then of course we have original shows like CBB Presents where characters from Comedy Bang Bang host their own shows. We have Scott as insane where Sprague The Whisperer. Who? You'll hear this episode and I. We watch movies and review them. We also have Collegetown, the neighborhood. So many great shows over there. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang. If you're a lonely spider who feels like an outsider, then have some worm. Worm friends. Oh, I thought it said warm, warm friends. No, it's worm friends. Okay, this makes more sense. If you're a lonely spider who feels like an outsider, then have some worm friends over for the fire pie and spider cider. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah, that's a lot. I don't know why I picked that one. It had a lot of words and I didn't read it beforehand. And there it is. Thank you, though. To the sad. No la bis. The Sad Prince. What does that mean? Labus, the sad Prince. For that catchphrase submission. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. For another week, another episode. And what an episode it is. Coming up a little later on the show, we have an advisor. Wow, that sounds amazing. Maybe I'll get some advice. Or maybe he's here to give advice to other people, not including me. And also a little later, we'll have a girlfriend. That's weird. A girlfriend. All right, well, sure. That's coming up later in the show. My name's Scott Aukerman. Welcome to the show and returning to the show, a returning champion, some might say.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, there are champions crowned in the Bang Bang?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, we crown a champion at the end of the show. So in your previous episode that you were on, we did not give you an award, is that correct?

[Flula Borg]

I received zero certificates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, unfortunately, maybe you didn't do all that well.

[Flula Borg]

Perfect.

[Scott Aukerman]

However, though, now you are returning, which makes you a champion.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You weren't a champion before and are returning. I'm so excited you have returned, and thus that makes you a champion.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, as a ger, we can't really accept awards or any kind of positive distinctions as part of the contract.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know you're fully able to give out a lot of negativity. Yes, yes.

[Flula Borg]

We exude it and then we direct it towards ourselves. And that's just how it works.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know him from such things as his comedy. You know him? I believe I saw him on Homeland. Did I not see him on Homeland?

[Flula Borg]

I was also, there's a Trader Joe's just in Toluca Lake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Toluca Lake? I used to live right next to it.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes. From 9297 every morning I get the Goraw Trail Mix. Two packages. So I've seen you there many times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not buy in bulk and then you wouldn't have to go every day.

[Flula Borg]

Cardiovascular exercise is very important, Mr. Ockle.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is Your only cardiovascular exercise is going to and from Trader Joe's.

[Flula Borg]

I burn the calories since I eat them and repeat like the shampoo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're staying neutral. You burn enough calories for that trail mix and then you eat it off.

[Flula Borg]

It is like the stock market is a zero sum calorie game. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're playing the stock market wrong, by the way. But we do want to. You've also seen him in the Pitch Perfect films. Or one of them. I can't recall.

[Flula Borg]

I think only one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Only one. Number two. Is that right?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, perhaps.

[Scott Aukerman]

Perhaps I have not.

[Flula Borg]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've done so much in your career, you barely remember it.

[Flula Borg]

I don't watch anything. I have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? You've never watched any of your performances?

[Flula Borg]

I don't watch any bodies of anything. I just.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't watch anyone's performances?

[Flula Borg]

I'm busy watching.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never seen movies or tv?

[Flula Borg]

No, no, no. I watch plays. Primarily in Northern Bavaria. And then I once participated in a sexy contest in northern Franconia.

[Scott Aukerman]

You participated?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

And a returning champion there.

[Flula Borg]

No, I placed three.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Flula Borg]

Bronze.

[Scott Aukerman]

The bronze.

[Flula Borg]

Sexy.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did. And we'll introduce you in a moment. What did you have to do in order to participate in this competition? Was it. First of all, what did you have to do to entry? Entry to enter. And what did you have to do whilst you were in the competition?

[Flula Borg]

You have to have an occupation. And so they're like, what is your occupation? And then I said, I'm a hype man. And so then I did. Hype man. Local library in Erlangen is my hometown.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

And so I did pump everybody up very hard with some Beastie Boys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

And this is how I was accepted into the contest.

[Scott Aukerman]

And to whom were you hyping? Normally a hype man is an accessory, right? Yeah. Part of a team. Am I right?

[Flula Borg]

This is correct. Yeah. I recruited two senior citizen females who were in a continuing education class of Spanish and they were renting some books. And so I said, may I hype you into the library, please?

[Scott Aukerman]

They were renting the books.

[Flula Borg]

They were renting the books. I was renting them as my hype.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not the typical library situation. Normally you just borrow them.

[Flula Borg]

It was odd. Yeah. Everyone did not understand what was happening.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. They just erected a Library and thought that they should rent out the books.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Everyone was erect, and we filmed it and then.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so that's what you did for the competition.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Returning to the show, Flula is here. Hello, Flula. Welcome. Welcome back.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you very much.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're wearing a famous monsters T shirt, of which there is one monster, I believe, by the name of Godzilla.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, Godzilla. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He is the most close to the dinosaur Triceratops. I could not find my triceratops T shirt, so I'm wearing this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You couldn't find it, really?

[Flula Borg]

No. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. That's too bad. And he. I believe he has a subway car in his mouth.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, he's munching on trains.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's how big he is. See, when you show a picture of Godzilla, you need to show something that shows how big he is for scale.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Sometimes a nickel or perhaps a dime. Sure, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be. See, now, normally, I see a picture of Godzilla and he has a tiny nickel by his toe.

[Flula Borg]

So smart, you know? But then where is the rest of body? This is a large T shirt you're wearing, Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. How have you been? It's so good to see you back.

[Flula Borg]

I'm very good. My blood pressure is a normal range.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Flula Borg]

I have been exercising very much. I have recently, I started a podcast called Boom Time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boom Time. Yes. That is your. One of your catchphrases, am I right? Boom time.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Well, boom is it always. I scream it and then I like to say, like, what time is it? It's boom time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Flula Borg]

You know?

[Scott Aukerman]

And is that primarily what happens on the podcast?

[Flula Borg]

Most people, I say, what time is it? And then if they are incorrect, we continue until they say boom time. And then we do an ad read, and then we are finished.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is about two minutes long, depending on if they get it or not.

[Flula Borg]

You can be surprised. There are some people 45 minutes. We have a podcast. It's lots of guessing.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're one of Germany's great comedians, is that correct?

[Flula Borg]

Nobody knows. I did not know that. People thought I was a comic person. So nobody knows the stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just put your stuff out there. You don't know if people think it's funny, if people think it's serious.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. I have a reggae album. Some people said, best album ever. Other people wrote just send me doo doo, you know, so, like, you don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Know what will happen. And you were out there opening for or not opening for Conan o', Brien, but you're his disc jockey, is that correct?

[Flula Borg]

That's Correct. Yeah, yeah. Conan o', Brien, host of Conan Needs a Friend. An Earwolf podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, sure. Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Free drop.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He needs a little more advertising. He does.

[Flula Borg]

He does. I am his dj. And, yes, I do open the show to explain to people how pumped up they must be before Conan enters, and.

[Scott Aukerman]

How pumped up should they be.

[Flula Borg]

It should be so your ears. Have you heard of tinnitus?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course.

[Flula Borg]

Develop it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just that particular evening.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Before Conan is entered, you need to feel like a big owl.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's how pumped up people need to be for Conan.

[Flula Borg]

Absolute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? And that helps his performance or.

[Flula Borg]

I don't know. This is just my job. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has his performance changed based upon how you perform your tasks?

[Flula Borg]

I think so. But also, I am clueless, so I'm just happy if I don't expire and if Conan is excited, I would like.

[Scott Aukerman]

To see you in a remake of Clueless. Speaking of that, I would love to see in the Alicia Silverstone roll.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, will we do this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, let's do this.

[Flula Borg]

I will start growing my hairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which one's your beard or.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, no, the top.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, the top.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, yeah, the top follicles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

And then. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many can you grow? Let's see, we got the top top. We got the. Right under the nose there.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, Two of those.

[Scott Aukerman]

We got the chinny chin chin.

[Flula Borg]

And the nippies.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the nippies, right, yeah. Now down below. Those don't grow.

[Flula Borg]

No, I shave that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Always.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, yeah. As you say, airport, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. The landing strip.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, what? Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. You have a little Brazilian.

[Flula Borg]

Well, I'm like, Chicago. There's o' Hare and Midway. So I have two strips.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the podcast is boom time. And who appears on this program? What type of guests do you have? Do you have community activists? Like, sometimes I have. Listen to my guests today. Advisor and girlfriend.

[Flula Borg]

Is this the type of thing that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have on your show?

[Flula Borg]

This is vague. Are these illegal aliens?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are these. I don't know why they're hiding what they do and their identity. I don't understand.

[Flula Borg]

I'm excited and afraid to meet them. On Boomtown. We have any normal guests like Edward Helms, if you have heard of this person.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Ed Helms. I do know.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, I like to. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ed is what. I'm a little more familiar with him, I think. I went to see one of his movies and they called him Ed, and it was sort of like, oh, yeah, call me Ed.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Implicit in that.

[Flula Borg]

Potato pot. Got it. Also very strange Olympians. Nick Simmons. Who was Olympian and also can run the beer mile, which is a real event.

[Scott Aukerman]

The beer mile.

[Flula Borg]

You are chugging many beers. Four beers in one mile. This is not a joke.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to do four in one mile.

[Flula Borg]

Every 0.25 miles, you must chug it. The beer.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to chug it before you can continue.

[Flula Borg]

You must chug it before you can lug it. Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard of lick it before you kick it, but chug it before you lug it.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. So this is a new one.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so by the end of one mile, you've drank four beers.

[Flula Borg]

Four beers.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many miles is it? Just one.

[Flula Borg]

It's one. And his record is seven minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seven minutes. That's not bad. I can run a mile in about 20 or so, so. Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, that's pretty under below average.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I'm not drinking the beers during that, so maybe it would give me a little wind beneath my wings.

[Flula Borg]

Exactly. Some Chariots of fire. Yeah, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

And is there. Could they also have a competition of how many beers one could drink while running a mile?

[Flula Borg]

How many beers could a beer chug chug? If a chug could chug run.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly. Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

That could be a separate competition. They could run side by side. Someone could be trying to do it fast while drinking four. The other person could just be like, as fast as I can go, as many as I go by the end of the mile. If I drink 20, then I win, no matter how fast or slow I go.

[Flula Borg]

I like this very much.

[Scott Aukerman]

It could take all night.

[Flula Borg]

Any days, any nights, all the fortnights. I'll play this. Yes. Let me know when this has happened. If this is a podcast, I will start it as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so you talk to these people on the show and they. It's a conversational show, much like this one. We're having a conversation right now, are we not?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. We are conversing so deep and hard. And I do this also with my guests. I ask questions that I perhaps they have not heard before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Like what?

[Flula Borg]

Well, it's usually the sentence structure that they have not heard before because as a German person, it's a little backwards.

[Scott Aukerman]

The syntax is a little.

[Flula Borg]

They hear a subject, they don't know where is the predicate, and they must wait minutes. So it can be confusing.

[Scott Aukerman]

It can be very confusing. But that's part of the fun.

[Flula Borg]

Absolutely. And I'm super excited all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never seen you in a bad mood.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, it does not exist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. You just wake up this way. Is that, right?

[Flula Borg]

I do. I scream boom time. And then I go. I put on pantaloons and I do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So is that. And if you're out there and you're wondering, how do I get in a good mood for the day? Because a lot of people, like, today is a Monday.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, you open your weary eyes and it's like, oh, fuck, the whole week is about to start. If you just scream boom time. That gets you up, Right.

[Flula Borg]

Immediately improves your heart rate. You feel very good. And if you think of bad thought, well, then just pee on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very good. See, this is. You have such a wonderful point of view, a pov, as I like to say.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Ppov. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And do you have any tips for the. You know, a lot of people listen to this show trying to get into a better mood. We have a fun, just lighthearted show. Do you have tips for people out there, for people struggling with mental health?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, I think scream into a pillow and then the sisters not work. Scream into two pillows and it's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adjust the pillow number.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, yeah. Increase your pillows and send a sister.

[Scott Aukerman]

You might find your pillow number at some. For some people it might be five.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. And some people fit 15. You don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. We have no idea. But that's. At some point you're gonna find your pillow number and you'll feel great and.

[Flula Borg]

Then you can scream. And if these pillows don't work, then scream at real life people on the street for no reason.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. I think I've seen some people using this method.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes, absolutely. Franklin and Hillhurst.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Falula, you're a wonderful. Just a ray of sunshine. Do you get sunshine in Germany?

[Flula Borg]

We do, but I hate it, which is why I've written a techno song called Clouds why are you hiding? Which I wrote when I moved to Los Angeles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Usually the clouds are hiding the sun, but you see the opposite.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Because why? The sun is just. As you can see, I'm a honky donk pale person.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, you are. You and I are having a pale off right now.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I am winning so hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah. We're in the Paley Festival right now.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And what has your life been like? You now live here in Los Angeles. Has it been an adjustment for you?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. I'm very confused by the traffic. Theater so deep. There are.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. There's not a lot of traffic in Germany or just everyone's on a moped.

[Flula Borg]

We have mopeds. We have cycles and now. But now they're like, oh, we have solved it in America. We have the bird.

[Scott Aukerman]

The bird scooter. I saw one of those by my house the other day. I was like, what the fuck is this doing here? You see them in urban, you know, areas, but by my house, right? You know.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who just left it there? How?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. It just poops them out.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just, like, drive wherever you want to go, and then you just toss it off to the side of the street. It's ridiculous.

[Flula Borg]

I do not like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're gonna be walking around. There's just, like, scooters lying everywhere. I didn't sign up for that.

[Flula Borg]

I agree with this. So hot. Mr. Ackerman.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. But has it been an adjustment for you? I mean, it's the land of sunshine.

[Flula Borg]

I do not like the weather. Yeah. Because here in Los Angeles, there is no weather. It does not shift. You know, there are no four seasons like the pizza. It's just one season, and it's just too bright. Too bright. Like big city and I need some ch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Imagine just having cheese pizza all your life.

[Flula Borg]

Who is wanting this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Give me some pepperoni.

[Scott Aukerman]

It took me a second to understand what you just said, but, yeah, once. Once I did.

[Flula Borg]

Well, we say salami, so I have to. When I say salami, people like, what is this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it the exact same thing? Salami and pepperoni, or do you have what we call salami?

[Flula Borg]

On pizzas, we only say salami. And when I say it, everyone is like, you mean Rashan Salam, the running back from the Colorado Buffaloes?

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone that's a common mistake to make.

[Flula Borg]

Said, no, salami likes pork meats. Delicious. So now I say pepperoni.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now you say pepperoni. Yeah. So that's been the biggest adjustment for you.

[Flula Borg]

Yep. Absolute. Yeah. You know, you knew this when you saw me in the face.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're like, oh, this guy. Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Meat chef.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meat based confusion.

[Flula Borg]

Absolute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Flula, it's always wonderful to have you on the show. This is your second time. How many do you think you'll eventually do?

[Flula Borg]

2.4.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, we'll have you back and kick you out about four tenths of the way through.

[Flula Borg]

Four tenths. I'm out. And I will enjoy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Larry Fortensky.

[Flula Borg]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, tell you what, you can stick around. Why don't we, you and I. You're the host of a podcast. I'm the host of a podcast. Let's co host this podcast here.

[Flula Borg]

Stop the presses.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, you don't have to be like, Conan's hype. Man. With me, you can just be, like, an equal. We're peers.

[Flula Borg]

I don't think it's allowed yet. I'm very happy to be subverted by you. Just be there to support you with those hands, you know, on the dove as they.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I don't know what you're doing with your hands right now.

[Flula Borg]

Sorry. I was like, when they throw it.

[Scott Aukerman]

To throw the doves, like in a wedding.

[Flula Borg]

Or the Ravens going to Winterfell to tell everyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a more common reference than doves at a wedding.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, people don't really throw the doves at weddings anymore. Used to be a big thing.

[Flula Borg]

John Wu killed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Now they're like, oh, it's a cliche.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Stop it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, please. That's like, you know, late 90s Wu.

[Flula Borg]

Exactly. Unlike Wu Tang. 25 years. 36 chambers. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What? Oh, have you thought about that? John Wu and the Wu Tang Clan were popular around the same time.

[Flula Borg]

Why have they not created, like, the perfect television something together? Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The John Wu Tang Clan.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

The perfect portmanteau.

[Flula Borg]

Old Dirty Bastards. Some Doves. Inspector Deck Raek. Ghostface Killer.

[Scott Aukerman]

And more doves.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, I want you to get in here. I want you to ask as many questions as I ask. But by the end of the show, I want there to be an equal number of questions. We'll tally them up. Someone take a tally, if you could take a tally of every question asked. And I want there to be an equal number betwixt the two of us.

[Flula Borg]

Is this real or are you, like, being a Kentucky waitress who's like, hey, y' all have so much sweet tea. But really, you're like, leave me alone. I want to stay in the back and check my sudoku puzzles.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a little like the waitress, I gotta admit.

[Flula Borg]

So I would be 25%.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Flula Borg]

Perfect.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, let's get to our first guest. I mean, you're our first guest, but I consider you to be a peer and a co host, so.

[Flula Borg]

But not really. But you've said it.

[Scott Aukerman]

But not really. I want you at, like, 25%.

[Flula Borg]

And I will accept that.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, so let's get to our first or really second guest. He is an advisor. Oh, the aforementioned advisor. And he's wearing a hoodie. And this is very exciting. Please welcome to the show. Oh, this is interesting. Sprig. The Whisperer.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hello, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello. You said that so creepily.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hello, Flula.

[Flula Borg]

Hello, Mr. Whisperer.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Let me correct you. It's Sprague, the Whisperer. Sprague, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

How is that spelled? S. You can go faster. Hold on, hold on. Okay, let me get this S down. All right. And. Got it. P. Okay, well, I. Okay, hold on, hold on. I am almost locked in. And Got it.

[Lily Sullivan]

Ah.

[Flula Borg]

Hey, is that a h?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, no. S.B.

[Scott Aukerman]

R. Okay. A, G, G, U, U, E. Okay. Sprague, the Whisperer.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I thought you were wearing a hoodie, but you're not. What is this?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is a cloak.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a cloak. This is what a cloak is?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how do you spell that? C, K. No, no, no, not K. Sorry. C. C, C, L. L Got it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

O, A.

[Scott Aukerman]

K, K. Of course. Yes. That's how you spell cloak. I'd always wondered.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I really hope this doesn't turn into a spelling, because that would not be good for spring.

[Scott Aukerman]

Try not to say any huge words.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

I may test you off.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's true. Well, I'm here just to advise, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just to advise.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. I'm an advisor.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean, an advisor?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Throughout the years, Scott, I've whispered into the ears of very important men.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

And women. Or men.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Mostly men.

[Flula Borg]

Got it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, actually, no, that's not true. Half women, half men, half women.

[Scott Aukerman]

So equal. An equal amount of women and an equal amount of men. That's very wonderful of you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's true.

[Flula Borg]

Just to be clear, you're not speaking about someone with both genitals?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, I have an equal amount of those as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so wait, it's so you can divvy up the number of people into whose ears you've whispered?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

One third men, one third women, one third hermaphrodite, one third.

[Flula Borg]

Got it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Anything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anything goes at this point.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Mascot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I am here to whisper, of course to you, Mr. Arkerman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh. Do you find me important? Is that.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, of course. Scott, you host a podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, well, so does Flula here.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, you host a podcast as well?

[Flula Borg]

Yes, but only 25% as cool as.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, okay. Well, I can work with. With that as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. But you are going to have to find two more women if you whisper into both of our ears. Two more women and two more.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I actually have the. I've already done the. I'm catching up here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. You've already got the women. Who are the women?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Anne Hathaway. Oh, wow.

[Flula Borg]

Can you spell that for me?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, I believe it's A, N, N.

[Scott Aukerman]

E. I think so. I think so.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

H, A, W, A. I think there.

[Scott Aukerman]

May be an arent w in there somewhere.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Whatever. Scott, I'm not a speller. I'm an advisor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And I have some advice for you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have some advice for me?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, because.

[Scott Aukerman]

Am I whispering?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, you shouldn't be whispering because I'm sparing the whisper.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So I should just be talking full volume.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Talking full volume.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. But I worry that if I talk at this volume, you're gonna be forced to come up to me, to my life.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, that's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so wait, I thought this is your whole thing being the whisper.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, whisper.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's whispering. I do. It's fun. But also, I'm really just telling you what to do with your careers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

[Flula Borg]

It does not need to be literally.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, it doesn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is career based advice.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is. Well, Scott, I have some career based advice for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You do? Okay, hit me with it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott, have you heard of the franchise Three Ninjas?

[Scott Aukerman]

Three Ninjas? Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott, I believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this not children's film?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is three children who are, I believe, raised by Pat Marie and taught karate. And they.

[Scott Aukerman]

He had a really interesting. He wasn't a karate based career. It was not him. Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And quite honestly, it's racist that I thought it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, spray someone else. It's someone else. But Scott, I want you to get the rights to this film.

[Scott Aukerman]

To get the rights to it.

[Lily Sullivan]

Who?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know who originally held the rights?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, you might have to speak with your.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe new line or something.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Maybe new line, I believe. And then I want you to reboot it, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Reboot it?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Why not?

[Scott Aukerman]

Continuation with the three kids now as adults. The three adult ninjas.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, that was the. That was the pitch. That's not a reboot.

[Flula Borg]

That's just a.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, no, that's a sequel. It's a late sequel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I guess you could reboot it with. With the same actors if they're grown up.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I also thought, you know, they're grown up and then they also have kids of their own. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Three. Six ninjas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six ninjas.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So. Yes, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, what am I doing in this?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You're writing the spec. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Writing it on spec? Yes, Scott, even if I buy the rights, I then have to write it on spec.

[Flula Borg]

Spreg, I have a question.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course.

[Flula Borg]

What's in it for you, Mr. Vesper?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, well, 10%. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you just an agent?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, Scott, I'm a producing manager.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, Wait a Minute. What. What management company are you with?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Mosaic, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're with Mosaic?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wait, I have to. I have to have you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, hold on. This is just a pitch for me to leave my own manager and go sign with you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, Scott, I'm not just a manager. I'm also a whisperer. Scott. Okay, let me just say, Scott, I would advise you to sign with me, because these days, podcast hosts are dropping like flies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh. That's very ominous. What do you mean? I'm trying to think of any.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, you know, Nerdist, That's. That, I guess, ended.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's not okay, you know.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sort of went down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very dicey territory right now.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

A lot of the podcast, you know, they went elsewhere, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, yeah, but what else?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Doughboys is doing pretty good now.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're just naming ones that are doing well.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. You know, I advise Doughboys to do a Patreon, Scott. Oh, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

They do very well for themselves. Even though they hide the number, they.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Don'T let anyone see the number, Scott, because it's getting too embarrassingly big. And that was my whisper. Scott. How dare you, Scott. Now, of course, I know you're uta. Fam. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, of course. Yes, I am at uta.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I have a great relationship.

[Scott Aukerman]

Spell that, by the way. Can you spell that?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Flula Borg]

Hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. Okay. T, T. Great. A. Huh?

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

F. F, A. You're Utah. Oh, it's my uta.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Now uta. Fam. Now, Scott, I have a great relationship with uta, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but why?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm just saying, Scott. All right, all right. I have some more whispers for you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what about.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Have you heard of the franchise, sir? Finidigious.

[Flula Borg]

I smell a theme. A little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I ask you a question? Are you interested in ninja based movies or do you actually.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Very well in four quadrants, Scott. They do well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. They do well with adults, with kids.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Kids, dogs, dogs and miscellaneous.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, how many dogs do you whisper to?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, I whisper to many dogs. I whisper to the dog from Marlo and me or whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about Blonde or the dog? Oh, yes, Marlo and me. That's the alternate title to Evan. User screwed.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, of course.

[Flula Borg]

I thought that was the wire reboot.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

But yes, Marlo, Those. Those, those. They have to fall. They don't, you know, they play by. They don't play by the rules. This game is rigged.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you talking about?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That stuff they say, the wire, Scott. Now, now, of course, Scott, the safety just fractured.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you like the Wire. And you like ninja based.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, I watched the Wire. I really pitch both. Mostly ninja based content.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so that's got.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, surf ninjas. Great movie. Rob Schneider.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't recall.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, so Rob Schneider was one of the ninjas.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was one of the ninjas, yes. Remember when he was a movie star?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crazy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It was insane.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you look at like, okay, Trump's president. That's crazy enough.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

There was like a 10 year period that Rob Schneider was starring in movies.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He did a gigolo movie. He was the freaking star of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was in Judge Dredd, I think, or something.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He did one where he played like a white woman. Remember?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's crazy, just crazy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I would not have whispered that, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you don't represent Rob Schneider?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, no. Can you see the mistakes his career. I would have never.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, but you. Who else was in the surf ninjas? Well, surfing ninjas.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Surf ninjas. We have Eddie Reyes Jr.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't recall him.

[Flula Borg]

The father of Eddie Reyes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, got it. Got it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, of course. Now, Scott, if you haven't seen this movie, why am I pitching it to you? You know, I. I know my clients.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, what are you asking me? If I haven't seen it, why are you doing it? I have that question myself.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Why? Well, let me. I could, of course, pivot, Scott. I could be with something else.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, what other ninja? There was a Chris Farley ninja movie.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yes. Beverly Hill did just. Okay, would you like to reboot that, Scott? I could take you to a pod. I know a few guys over at Funny or Die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you just switch accents?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott Sprague?

[Flula Borg]

Where are you from? I'm just so curious.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I am from a place long, long ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, you're not asking time. What time are you from? We're like, literally location.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I am from Tampa, Florida.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Tampa, Florida. And how long ago did you live there?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

10 years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you moved out here, you became a manager.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm not just a manager, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a producing man.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Also a producing manager. Also a whisperer.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you own the rights. Let me guess. Two child ninjas.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Surf ninjas. Three ninjas? Beverly Hills ninja. American ninja.

[Scott Aukerman]

American ninjas. American ninja Warrior. Is that what that is?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's a TV show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a tv. So you don't own the rights to that?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, Scott. But I could get you a meeting, maybe with them if you'd like. Is that something you want to be a contestant? No, Scott, I can help you in any way. Scott, come to. Come on over.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I have a good manager. Flula, are you looking for a manager right now, or.

[Flula Borg]

I think I'm solid, but I do very much love you. Sprague, I have a question for you, actually.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course.

[Flula Borg]

Was there ever a time in your life where you miss Whispered.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mispered.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I misbeh. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, that's flu. I see that. I know my name is just so much in whatever accent you're doing.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Easier to say.

[Flula Borg]

It does sound cool to say, Scott.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's almost as if it's my favorite thing to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. You whispered to. To who?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I've, of course, whispered to Kevin James. Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, in the. Whatever show that is. That he had.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. Kevin can wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kevin can wait.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Big mistake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, the title's not bad.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Not what? Not bad. But I was the one that advised him to kill off his wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, not Aaron Hayes. Friend of the show.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

She' Friend of the show. Friend of. You know, me and J. I love Erin. Would love to work with her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. But you whispered, hey.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I whispered, hey, write her off the show. Bring back the old hits. And of course, there was a backlash. Got.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not only write her off, but kill her off.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Kill her off and then make an off color joke about it in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Most gruesome way possible.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, I pitched that. They cut her head off like the end of season one of Game of Thrones.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like the ISIS video?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, no, that's. Where you at? Jesus Christ.

[Flula Borg]

That was dog scar.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

God. At least the Game of Thrones, they got some class. It was fictional. Shot with some integrity. Jesus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so you're. You're upset at how they were shot at the DP of the ISIS videos?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, it just. No cuts at all. No, thank you.

[Flula Borg]

Well, one cut, but yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, well. Flula. Well, that's not, you know, Flula. That was pretty funny.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you, Sprague.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That was actually.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe you could pivot over to him.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. That was actually incredible. Flula, are you represented right now?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You are?

[Flula Borg]

Yes, yes. My. My parents are. I'm a child. I'm a child. They're my managers since I was younger.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were a child actor, Flula? I didn't know. What were you in when you were a child?

[Flula Borg]

I was at. It's a DJ show. So it's like. Play that. Play that one more time is what it was called.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, where you were. Had to play songs twice.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, is what it was called.

[Scott Aukerman]

And if you didn't play it twice.

[Flula Borg]

Then you were fired yeah, so I always played it. Two times they called me two times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lula. So.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you were pretty good on the show.

[Flula Borg]

I did. I hit repeat and we did it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wow.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was that an automated thing that you could just like say, repeat track?

[Flula Borg]

Well, I can say it now because the show is off the air. So. Yes, I just copy paste pace twice and hit play once.

[Scott Aukerman]

Smart, smart. Those other fools, they're sitting there after the song ends just going like, what do I do?

[Flula Borg]

What do I do? Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm urinating.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, very clever.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What if we rebooted this?

[Flula Borg]

We could do it. It was a very local third channel in Germany as a Zubayan. Fancy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So the rights.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, they are open.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And what have you put on this ninja costume.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, wait, you have a ninja costume with you?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, of course. Put on this ninja costume.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is, this is any size, just.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, it's any size. You pull the thing. There you go.

[Flula Borg]

It's fluorescent yellow. I like this. This is perfect for a rave fight.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, of course. We will reboot this show as a ninja show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Why are you laughing maniacally? What? You're laughing maniacally. He hasn't agreed to it. He hasn't even put on the costume. Wait, I. Oh, wait, you just put on a costume?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, I didn't. I just touched. It's like venom. I just touched it and now I'm wearing it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What kind of costume is this?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's a magic costume.

[Scott Aukerman]

Magic.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. I got it from this costume shop. The magic with a Q at the. They're very.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, there is.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, there is. Studio City.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, how do you spell that? Got it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

G. Oh, it's a G. Yes, I, I. And then the Q. Here's where the Q comes in at the end.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so no. UE it's just. Oh, got it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Magic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Magic.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course. Now look, by the end of this show, I'm sure we'll be able to work something out. I'll sign the both of you. I'll package you and put. You may. I'll get maybe get you a universal writing deal with the studio.

[Scott Aukerman]

Universal. Or just like.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, with this studio or with the universe. So with, with the studio.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I mean magical. You know, get you, get you in there, get you on the lot, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Know, I mean, I like the lot. One of those bungalows.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, maybe a bungalow. There's some mid season shows. Maybe pick you up on one of those.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't, I don't know that I.

[Flula Borg]

Want to do you don't want to do this, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go. You could go staff up on a mid season show. I have other stuff going on.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You could be a consulting producer, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean it's. I know, it's good money.

[Flula Borg]

Look at this. On my.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Look at this suit.

[Flula Borg]

Don't you want one of these as well?

[Scott Aukerman]

Would we. Would I have to dress a ninja.

[Lily Sullivan]

When I do this?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's be part of the contract, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does Universal want with me dressing like a ninja?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They need one ninja writing team.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have. Wait, we have to do it as a team? That's just a scam where they pay for two people to split the check.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

But you, you'd only work three days a week, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, if we could get it down to two and do we work the same days or.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, you can split whichever days, you know, if you have some work.

[Scott Aukerman]

How they do it, they get us in there for. For four days a week, you know.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And then you could work on your own pilot, you know, whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, but it's. Then you never get your own thing going because you're too busy working on someone else's show.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We'll have a. Let's set up a meeting with you UTA fam.

[Flula Borg]

We'll have a. I don't know, I'll bring my parents. It would be great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wait, they could co. Manage you, the parents and I think.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We can set something up, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

We co.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Manage. I whisper. They manage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And how much are you getting? And how much are they getting?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm going to probably, probably still take 10. Okay, so whatever they do, I don't care. But we, we have to settle up on my end.

[Flula Borg]

I'm suddenly very agreeable now that I'm wearing this suit. Put on the suit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't want to put on you. You don't have another suit, do you? Oh my God, you have another. I don't want to put on this suit.

[Flula Borg]

It's a pink.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, put on the ninja suit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I want. Oh my God, I just touched it. Now it's on me.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's right, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh my God.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's right. It's skin tight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that is super tight. That is showing everything.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's exactly what we need in the Righteous room.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, well, hold on. In this climate, it's true. We can't do this kind of thing.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We need ninja representation in the writer's room, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right. I don't know. I guess we could do this.

[Flula Borg]

Let's do this. If we hug, we'll form some kind of sherbet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can feel it. All right, let's hug and then see what happens. Perfect. Oh, my God.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Now you're definitely splitting a check, because.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think we're splitting organs, too. Somehow our bodies have combined. I think we need to wait. Is this how you get the miscellaneous clients?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. Cut.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, look.

[Flula Borg]

Dirty. So dirty.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to take a break. I'm gonna try to get this ninja suit off me.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, I need to talk to my assistant, but yes, go ahead.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Roll some calls while we're on break. I got some calls. All right, look, we're gonna take break. We'll be right back with more Flula, More Sprague, the Whisperer, and we'll have a girlfriend after this. That's very exciting. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang.

[Kayla Dickey]

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[Kayla Dickey]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. Flula is here with us. Where can people find. Do you have a YouTube? Is that. Is that right? A channel or something?

[Flula Borg]

You can just Google my name like you have a flu In Los Angeles, Flula and things like that will appear. Instagram, the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you put a space in between, it will like flu shot opportunities come.

[Flula Borg]

Up for you then. Health options.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could also get in on those. Maybe.

[Flula Borg]

I have tried reserving the domain name flu la. It is $15,000.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. So yeah. Although our other guest here could work out a deal for that. Maybe Sprague the way.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. Set that up. Yes. 2:30.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, he's.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's taking off the cloak, by the way. Now he's just a guy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's just a guy in a suit.

[Flula Borg]

He's just on the phone.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Talk to their manager and then we'll have the meeting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Anyway, he's rolling. That's okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sorry. We'll be back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, we're rolling. Sorry.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hold on, let me boil.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't have to put the cloak back on. No, it's not. I don't think it's having the intended effect.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I've got a lunch at 2:30.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's. We'll get you out by then. Don't worry. We need to get to our next guest. She is a girlfriend. I don't have any other information other than that, but let's try to divine some information from her. Please, please. Welcome to the show, Kayla Dickey.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi, Kayla.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. Hi.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi.

[Lily Sullivan]

My name's Kayla Dickey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes, it is. Hi. This is Flula. Hello. Kayla. This is Sprague. Hello.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your last name?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sprague the Whisper.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, what's your last name? And from Florida.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, Jensen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jensen. Sprague. Jensen.

[Flula Borg]

Sprague. Jensen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. But people, you know, I suggest Sprague the Whisper.

[Scott Aukerman]

You do?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. It's fine. Keep going.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. We can keep going.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kayla. It's so nice to meet you. I'm Scott.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm just here cause my boyfriend, he just bought a big truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, cool. Wow, that's great.

[Lily Sullivan]

So we're pretty pumped about the truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, cool. You're on the show in order to talk about the truck or talk about your boyfriend.

[Lily Sullivan]

We're pretty pumped about the truck and we're just letting everybody know about the truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. What kind of truck? What color is it? You want to know what color? Yeah. Let's figure out make, model in color.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, it's red and it's a Ford Rock hard. 250.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Ford Rock hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rock hard 250.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Incredible.

[Lily Sullivan]

So it's, it's really Exciting. And we've, you know, we got the whole neighborhood to come over and check out the truck, and people are. We're getting a really great response because it's just so big. It's super big.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. It's a big truck. It's bigger than a normal truck.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, it's one of the biggest trucks.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's one of the biggest trucks on the market.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hands down, the biggest truck. And it's so big. And, you know, we've been decorating it inside. So we got a lot of his, like, flat branches, kind of all flat brims.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what you said?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, his flat brim hat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flat brim hats, yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

So we've got his flat brims kind of just, like, taped up and stapled.

[Scott Aukerman]

Up around, like, around, like, the interior of the. Oh, okay, that's cool.

[Lily Sullivan]

And then we've got a little shelf with all of his DVDs. So he likes to display his DVDs.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This sounds huge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you play DVDs in this truck?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, there's a couple.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a couple of TVs.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's just so big, you guys. It's. I don't. It's so big, and. Yeah, it makes him feel so big. So it's exciting.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's very exciting for you. So you're here to promote the. The truck.

[Flula Borg]

The truck.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, yeah, and we're just. We're pumped about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sprague has a question.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Where is your boyfriend right now?

[Lily Sullivan]

My boyfriend's in the truck. He's waiting for me. He's got the truck running outside.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is he parked down? Oh, he's. He's. It's running. Yeah, it's running.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Well, yeah. During the entirety of the show.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a. As far as I know, these types of trucks are gas guzzlers.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. We fill up multiple times a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

A day.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wow.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. And it's just it for me. It's like, it's such a big truck, and he's got such a small dick, and it's just, like, so. It's exciting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on. What now?

[Flula Borg]

What did you. Second thing you said?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, out of the three things you.

[Lily Sullivan]

Said, it's just heaven, you guys. It's heaven.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. I think the other thing. I think maybe we're mixing up the. The order. The second thing you said the. You said big truck. You said, it's a big truck, and then you said something. And then you said, it's very exciting.

[Lily Sullivan]

He said a big truck, small dick. And it's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the one. That's the one that was tripping me up.

[Lily Sullivan]

Is that what it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he has a small dick.

[Lily Sullivan]

You know, for me, like, I'm already seeing this confidence level change, and he's just a new guy. It's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's amazing.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's exciting.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he has a smaller than average penis or.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, it's a small dick.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's small. How can. I mean, can we talk about how small are we talking? I don't know. What's small when it comes to penises?

[Lily Sullivan]

I don't know, like a dice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a Monopoly die.

[Flula Borg]

Like for Yahtzee.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Like two dice on top of each other. Just the one single square.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just the single die. Yeah, because squares.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's really fucked up.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's just like a dice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Like, just like. He's rolling snake eyes.

[Lily Sullivan]

Have you ever played Balderdash?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. With the words.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not remembering Balderdash. How do you play Balderdash?

[Flula Borg]

It's a wonderful game.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe you could tell us the rules.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, it's a. Like, you have a word. It's like flangey dunk. And everyone must say, what is the definition of flangeedy dunk?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

And then you invent it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You invent it. Okay, this sounds fun.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. So I don't think that they have dice with that game, but if they did, it would be the size of his dick.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it. So two on top of each other, probably. Is that what we're talking about? No, no, just the single one. Just one dice.

[Lily Sullivan]

So we're just pumped about the truck, and I just want to make sure you guys understand just how big it is. And kind of like when we were driving over, a lot of people were honking and he was speeding, which makes me feel safe and taken care of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Okay. So this truck is almost womb. Like, in a way.

[Lily Sullivan]

And we were playing on the way over. We had Orange county the Movie playing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, great.

[Lily Sullivan]

We got some out cold going.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much of Alcold did you get going?

[Lily Sullivan]

Most of. Yeah, most of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Most of it. Most on the way over. Do you guys live far away? Because you've mentioned too much.

[Lily Sullivan]

You live in Colorado.

[Scott Aukerman]

Colorado. Okay. So you took the truck all the way out here?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, we made the trip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great.

[Flula Borg]

So what is out cold? What is this?

[Lily Sullivan]

It's a really good movie about a ski town.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I believe Zach Galifianakis is in it in his hot tub or something. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's really good. And he's just got like Boondock Sing Saints.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's got Boondock Saints in there as well.

[Lily Sullivan]

He's got Boondock Saints. He's got.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I was a consulting producer on Boondock Saints.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were Sprague Jensen.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's true. Very true. Check my IMDb.

[Flula Borg]

So it's in the shape of a cube.

[Lily Sullivan]

His stick.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or it just is that length?

[Lily Sullivan]

It looks like. Is it a dice? That's what I say.

[Scott Aukerman]

It just looks exactly like it. Is it as wide as it is tall?

[Lily Sullivan]

It's. I'm not here to talk about the dick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're not? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why we're getting hung up on that. Well, let's talk about the truck.

[Lily Sullivan]

That was the right description, I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Okay, let's talk about the truck. So it's. Any other features in the. In the truck or.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, the wheels are so big. Like, I come up to like half of a wheel.

[Scott Aukerman]

You come up to. Yeah, you are. But you're a little on the petite side.

[Lily Sullivan]

I'm four foot.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're four foot? Yeah. I didn't want to say. So these are like eight foot wheels.

[Lily Sullivan]

So the wheels are eight foot. So that's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are really big.

[Lily Sullivan]

So then if you think about this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is like a monster drive. Is this in competitions or does this crush other cars?

[Lily Sullivan]

He's a baker. He works at Baked in Montrose.

[Scott Aukerman]

Baked in Montrose?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. So he bakes just like different kinds of stuff. And then does he have to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Any kind of novelty cakes? Any kind of sex cakes where he has, like penises on it or.

[Lily Sullivan]

Why are you guys so obsessed with dicks? Like, we're here to talk about. I'm here to talk about the truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just. If he's surrounded by giant penises at work, that would also tend to lend.

[Lily Sullivan]

No, he's got his boys there. And there's definitely like, you know, like that chef culture. You know that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. I've heard about Mario Batali. I was gonna say Matario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People like this Bitali.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's. It.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you just say? Sprig Bitali? Yes. So the chef culture is. It's very masculine.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. For him it was kind of emasculating because he had a big truck before he did, but it wasn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

What truck was this that he had.

[Lily Sullivan]

Before he had the ford rock hard 150.

[Scott Aukerman]

150. Okay. And now he has the 250.

[Lily Sullivan]

So before, everyone was kind of giving him a hard time about it and wasn't big enough. Yeah. And a lot of the girls where I work were like, what's the deal with you guys? And I was like, I don't know. Like, I don't know how long this is gonna last.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Lily Sullivan]

And then he got the big truck, and we were like, okay. Like, he got the big truck. And I'm like, well, now I know it's gonna last.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Okay.

[Flula Borg]

So since it is shaped like a cube, are the dimples on the. Like a dice? Like, other. Like, is there two. Two dots on one?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess there would be the. The tip of it would have the one dot. Yeah, probably.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then is there five and six? And I guess. Well, the six would be on the opposite end. So we would never see that.

[Lily Sullivan]

That's not smooth, if that's what the question is.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. Yeah. Some skin condition. Pockmarks.

[Lily Sullivan]

I mean, it. I want to say it does the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Job, but which job does it do?

[Lily Sullivan]

It does the job.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which job does.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You want to say it, but it doesn't.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, it's, you know. You know, like for our relationship. It does the job. And that's, I guess, what's important right now. But the more important thing is the truck, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. You've had relationship problems until now.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What were the primary problems within your relationship?

[Lily Sullivan]

So he's just always at the bakery or in the truck. And for me it's like, where is this going? Because I, you know, I work. I work at the bridal shop.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Where do you work? You work at the bridal shop?

[Lily Sullivan]

I work at David's bridal. The one on. By the big lots. Not the one on.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're not from Colorado. We don't really know. These are specific references that we don't have.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, the one on you have multiple times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course.

[Lily Sullivan]

So then you know the one on the main street?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

The one by the big. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

The.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

By the big lots.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course. Okay. Thanks, Frank. That's cool. Yeah. That's really lucky for you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I wanted to chime in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

So you know that one's the bad one.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, of course.

[Lily Sullivan]

So I work at the bad one.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, you work at the bad one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What constitutes the bad one? It's a bad part of town or the. Not as good as the other one.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's not as good. We can't find. We don't find anyone to dress.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're unsuccessful at.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, yeah. But the girls there. I love the girls.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your co workers or the customers, the coworkers.

[Lily Sullivan]

My girls. So my girls are always talking about, you know, when are you guys gonna get married? All that kind of stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. How long have you been dating? What's this gentleman's name, by the way?

[Lily Sullivan]

Cart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Caught. How do you spell that? I'm asking. Sprague.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. C. Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

A. I'm guessing R. F?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that.

[Lily Sullivan]

That's correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right on the money. Congratulations.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Like the shopping cart.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good key word. So cart is this gentleman's name. And how long have you been together?

[Lily Sullivan]

Seven and a half years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seven and a half. So really, I mean, if. If you add up all of your sexual experiences, that's like, you know, having sex with one, you know, big dicked guy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's true.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. Eventually.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Wow. Eventually. You got there small.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Can I. Can I ask, is there a 350?

[Lily Sullivan]

Oh, for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I think there's the 150.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

There's the 150, there's the 250. And then does it go to the 350? Because you asked, where is this going? And I thought it's probably going to the 350.

[Lily Sullivan]

So, yeah, that. It's rumored that that's going to come out in the spring, but we haven't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Heard that's off schedule for cars as well.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Also, it's Ruben on the message boards, probably.

[Lily Sullivan]

So it's rumored. Just saying, like on Facebook and stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Do you think he's going to pop the question? Yeah, sure. Sure, I did.

[Flula Borg]

Want to know?

[Lily Sullivan]

You know, for me, like, everywhere that we go with the big truck, I'm like, this could be it. This could be it. Because he'll park the truck and we'll just kind of set up shop. So we'll drive up. You guys know, like the Jed Weeby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trail, maybe East Sprague does.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I've heard of it, but I've never been there.

[Lily Sullivan]

So.

[Flula Borg]

Jeb Leibi. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

Jed Weeby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jed Weeby. Who's Jed Weeby?

[Lily Sullivan]

Jed Weeby is. He was the mayor of Montrose before the big fire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and then what happened? The big fire happened and they tossed.

[Flula Borg]

Him out and made a trail.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, he started the fire.

[Scott Aukerman]

He started the fire. Oh, I didn't. Oh. Oh. So the opposite of Billy Joe.

[Lily Sullivan]

He left a curling iron on and he started the fires.

[Scott Aukerman]

He left a curling. What was he curling?

[Lily Sullivan]

His hairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

The ones on top and below and below. All of it. He was just curling his leg hair and stuff. Anything goes with him.

[Lily Sullivan]

So he started the fire and then they were like, you've got to get out of town. And he's like, I'm not leaving.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And then I'm trying to get to the trail.

[Flula Borg]

How did he name a trail?

[Lily Sullivan]

So he ran up the trail, and everyone couldn't find. Everyone was like, he's rumored to be up there.

[Scott Aukerman]

And where did they rumor this? On the message boards as well, on Facebook.

[Lily Sullivan]

And so they were like, he's up there. So every time we go up, we're like, where is he? Where is he? We still haven't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. No one's ever found this guy. So we go some sort of a hermit who may be living in a cave in this trail somewhere, curling his hairs.

[Lily Sullivan]

He's just. He never came back.

[Scott Aukerman]

He never came back.

[Lily Sullivan]

He just went up there and no one's ever heard a sound or a peep.

[Flula Borg]

When was this?

[Lily Sullivan]

Seven and a half years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seven and a half.

[Lily Sullivan]

So that was right when me and Cart got together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on. Can I ask you a question?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this gentleman that you're talking about, did you have any sort of relationship with him?

[Flula Borg]

Jed Weeby?

[Lily Sullivan]

The Jed Weeby?

[Scott Aukerman]

Jed Weebeebe.

[Lily Sullivan]

Okay, So I was Jed Weeby's assistant at the courthouse.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

At the courthouse.

[Lily Sullivan]

He's the mayor. He was the mayor.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was the mayor. Right. And you were his assistant just at the courthouse?

[Lily Sullivan]

Just at the courthouse.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he had different assistants for different locations?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So that sounds like a good idea.

[Flula Borg]

It does.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can use one of them.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I could use an assistant right now.

[Lily Sullivan]

So some of my other girls.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're eyeing your phone right now.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I've got emails. Let's just keep going.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Sprig. So hold on, hold on.

[Lily Sullivan]

So some of my other girls were some of his other assistants. So my girl Cassie, my girl Megan, my girl Tosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Well, the court stipulates that there were plenty of girls with different names.

[Lily Sullivan]

So my girls that all work at David's Bridal now. My girls and I were all different assistants for Judd Weeby.

[Scott Aukerman]

What an amazing coincidence.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wow.

[Lily Sullivan]

So anyway, Jud flees the scene, and I'm like, fuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Were you there at his abode while he was curling or. Where was he curling These. I don't know the situation. Yeah, the hairs.

[Lily Sullivan]

He was. Well, he was at home.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was at home. He burned down his home.

[Lily Sullivan]

That's Tash's territory. So this is not on.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not allowed there.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's on Tosh.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, but apparently he also left a curling iron at the courthouse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Lily Sullivan]

I didn't even know this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he had multiple curling irons going at the Same time.

[Lily Sullivan]

So I didn't know that. And I was at work, and all of a sudden, there's a fire. Like, not only at work.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is a multiple fire situation that he started?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Lily Sullivan]

So he ran up the trail. And so me and Kart nowadays, we just kind of drive up there, and we're like, judd, Jed.

[Scott Aukerman]

So how then did you go from Jed Weebe?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Is that Weebly Jed Weeby?

[Scott Aukerman]

Jed Weeby. How did you go from working for Jed Weeby to suddenly dating Cart?

[Lily Sullivan]

So I obviously was, like, a mess, obviously. And I was kind of just, like, out on the street.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're out of a job at this point?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, I mean, I have a home and stuff, but I was walking the street and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Why? What?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sometimes you just have to walk on the street.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I guess I've watched. Do you mean you were, like, doing errands?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. That's a strange way to describe this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

I was just. I needed some time, you know, to process the fires.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So. Yeah. You were taking a walk.

[Lily Sullivan]

So I was walking the street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

I was walking the street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it.

[Lily Sullivan]

And then he pulls up, and I hear this, like, vroom, vroom. And I turn.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Cart, not Jed Wee Beebe.

[Lily Sullivan]

No, Jed Weebe had fled.

[Scott Aukerman]

He had fled in this situation. Was this by foot, or did he have a truck as well?

[Lily Sullivan]

He has a big truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he has a big truck.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, it's not as big as cart's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, the 250 hadn't come out yet.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, so he had just the 50. Cause this was a few years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

So anyway, I hear, vroom, vroom. And I turn, and it's Cart. And he's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was that the car noise or was that him saying.

[Lily Sullivan]

He was saying, vroom, vroom.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was.

[Lily Sullivan]

And I said. I turn, and he's like, hey, do you want to watch the Big Lebowski?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and you thought he was asking you out to a movie theater, perhaps?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, well, I would have thought that, but it was already starting on the big screen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it was. How much had you missed?

[Lily Sullivan]

A good chunk. A good, like, three fourths.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Were you able to kind of figure it out?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, I got in at the part.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where, I mean, the dude is pretty. I mean, it's like a character study, so it's not really about the plot.

[Flula Borg]

You get it pretty quick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Great character. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sprague, did you have anything to do with that film?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, I really wish I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You know, at the time, I was trying to Work on Steve Buscemi. But he ended up going elsewhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

He had no need for ninja based career.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He didn't want to do any more ninja stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

So there's Cart. You're in, you're distraught, you're a mess. He asks you to watch the Big Lebowski in his truck. 50 at the time.

[Lily Sullivan]

No, he had a 100.

[Scott Aukerman]

He had a 150. I guess these are going up in.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They go up in 50s.

[Scott Aukerman]

They go up in 50s.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So they're going to the 350. They're skipping the 300 rumored.

[Lily Sullivan]

So this one came out in June of. This is seven years ago. So 2011.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they took a big long break in between the 150 and the 250. And this is how he just got the 250. And now they're already up to the 350 in the spring.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they moved the production issues, much like Tesla or.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

So it was rumored that there was issues just kind of like with the CEO.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, got it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you think Cart's going to propose to you all the time? I think that's where we.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, that's where we are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why? Yeah. Okay. So cut to now. Seven and a half years later. You got into his truck and into his dreams and. 7 and a half years. Yes. How long did it take for that to happen?

[Lily Sullivan]

To sleep with him? Yeah, pretty quick. I don't really take that stuff very seriously.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're free with your body.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, I'm free in anything that gets me in a big truck. I'm all about. So we had. Yeah, we.

[Scott Aukerman]

This was the biggest truck they had on the market at the time.

[Lily Sullivan]

Exactly. Yeah. So we've. Every time we drive up the Judd Weeby trail and we yell for Jud, I'm like, this could be. This could be it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been doing this for seven and a half years at this point.

[Lily Sullivan]

So that's what sort of we do during our lunch breaks and stuff like that. So I'll get off from David Spirid. He'll get off from Baked in Montrose.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have the same lunch break, same.

[Lily Sullivan]

Hours around that time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so a little overlapping.

[Lily Sullivan]

Little overlapping.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a half hour overlapping.

[Lily Sullivan]

Maybe it's like a two hour gap.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys have a two hour lunch.

[Flula Borg]

Break where you scream for Jet Weepy.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. Well, so Judd, one time. We did hear Judd, though. I'm pretty sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Lily Sullivan]

We heard kind of like, hey, I'm over here. And I. I look and.

[Flula Borg]

Was it Sprague? Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a whisper Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I mean, I've only ever heard of it, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You've never been on it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Never been on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what did. What did you do, though? This is incredible.

[Lily Sullivan]

So I turn and. And I look, and I just see. I just see trees. I see. And then I see a bear.

[Scott Aukerman]

You saw a bear?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

So it's a bear whisper.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, we don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or it could have been, I guess, Jed Weeby in a bear costume.

[Lily Sullivan]

That's what I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or bears.

[Lily Sullivan]

A bear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe bears have developed the power of speech.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I have a much more logical explanation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Sprig.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I believe Jeb Weeby to be a ninja.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scarf. No, he's not a ninja.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He whispered, and then you turned and he flipped out of the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I don't think so.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He is. This is a great story. I'd like to buy the rights.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is sort of like a combination of, like, the Edge.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meets Beverly Hills Ninja.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Beverly Hills Ninja. But just not funny, you know, mostly dramatic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And he comes back to get his assistant from this guy caught with a bigger truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Can I ask, to what end are you doing this? Why are you still trying to find Jeb?

[Lily Sullivan]

Jed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jed. Jed. Jed. Weeby.

[Lily Sullivan]

Jud.

[Scott Aukerman]

Judd. Is it J, U? How do you spell it? Sprague.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm ready.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

All right. I believe it's J. J, U, U, D. Okay. I think that's odd.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's it. So just. Just one D. Judd.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's like. It's like chud, but Judd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. That's a great. Now, are you interested in the CHUD films?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yes. Very much so.

[Flula Borg]

Kayla, I have a deep question.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

What is the connection between. Between Cart and Judd?

[Scott Aukerman]

Judd. Yeah. Why does Cart want to find Jud? And why are you still trying to find Judd? That's sort of. To what end? What are you guys doing this?

[Lily Sullivan]

Judd was a mentor. Judd was a leader. Judd was to whom?

[Scott Aukerman]

To you. To Cart.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, to both of us. And we also both fucked Judd, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait. Cart had sex with Jud?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so he's pansexual.

[Lily Sullivan]

Judd will do anything for a guy with a big truck. And that's same with me. So it's these.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, once.

[Lily Sullivan]

You see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Didn't you say that Judd had a big truck, too?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's what he.

[Lily Sullivan]

Have you guys ever seen a guy in a big truck? Is there anything hotter than a guy in a big truck?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'll be honest. The way you've described Kart, he sounds kind of like a fucking jagoff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Sprague.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sprague, not gonna lie.

[Flula Borg]

I think I agree.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Shrug in the fridge, friggin hat thing and his name's Caught. I just, he sounds fine, but I don't know, I mean, maybe tiny pieces.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe it's good for Colorado. You know, it's not like LA where all the, all the good looking people with big dicks move out here.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

True. I think you can do better though.

[Lily Sullivan]

I just think, you know, to me, like if he's gonna wants to just drive around in the big truck and like show it off for the town and kind of like freak people out on the roads by going really quickly, like, I'm all about that and I'm on board for that. And if that's what our future is.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

How loud does he play music and movies from the car?

[Lily Sullivan]

Super loud.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I knew it would be that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe, you know, tell you what, we need to take a break. But Sprague, maybe you could whisper some advice for a new man. Some advice for Kayla here. Yes, yes. All right, so we're gonna take a break. I know you also have to catch up on emails. Yes. Well, we'll be right back with more Flula, more Sprague, the whisper, more Kayla Dickey. We'll be right back after this.

[F]

What's poppin, listeners? I'm Lacy Moseley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too, guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know they are represented. Cause representation. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kayla Dickey]

Building a business may feel like a big jump, but On Deck small business loans can help keep you afloat. With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to $250,000, On Deck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top rated online small business lender, On Deck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtibank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to Lender approval.

[Scott Aukerman]

Buying a car in Carvana was so.

[Lily Sullivan]

Easy, I was able to finance it through them.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just. Whoa, wait.

[Lily Sullivan]

You mean finance? Yeah, finance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got pre qualified for a Carvana auto loan.

[Lily Sullivan]

Entered my terms and. And shop from thousands of great car.

[Scott Aukerman]

Options, all within my budget.

[Lily Sullivan]

That's cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

But financing through Carvana was so easy. Financed, done. And I get to pick up my.

[Lily Sullivan]

Car from their Carvana vending machine tomorrow. Financed, Right. That's what they said. You can spend time trying to pronounce financing, or you can actually finance and buy your car today on Carvana financing, subject to credit approval. Additional terms and conditions may apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy bang, bang. We're back here. We have Flula here, who's.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I've got to go. I've got to get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you mean you have to go from here?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, it was a phone call.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Swag. The Whisperer.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Spielberg's assistant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah. He's with his assistant at Mosaic right now. We also have Kayla Dickey, who's a girlfriend. I wish you wouldn't identify yourself as just girlfriend. I mean, you have so much going on. You work at a bridal. Not a good one.

[Lily Sullivan]

But me and my girls, we just. We're all about, like, supporting our big guys out there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

And they're big tricks.

[Scott Aukerman]

They all have. And how. Why did you all work at the same. Come over and work at the same place?

[Lily Sullivan]

So Judd's wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

Merg.

[Scott Aukerman]

Merg Weeby. Merg Weeby. Okay.

[Lily Sullivan]

Merg Weeby owns.

[Scott Aukerman]

She owns the bridal shop.

[Lily Sullivan]

She owns David Bridle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so why Judd and Merg. They. They have two. He's the mayor. She owns this bridal shop. He hires. How many is. How many of your girls are there? There's five, six.

[Lily Sullivan]

There's 10 girls.

[Scott Aukerman]

10 girls. He hires 10 assistants.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He's. Has he fucked all of them? Because he fucked you at. God, that's. That's already.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. So me and my girls, we just kind of keep that stuff to ourselves. We don't need to know.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's no competition. It's not about.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's competing for.

[Lily Sullivan]

It's about supporting your girls. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yes, I think so. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay. So Judd is running some sort of mayoral sex cult.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And he burns. He has multiple curling irons going in multiple locations. Burns down half the town.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. It was so tragic. So sad.

[Scott Aukerman]

And flees the scene and puts on a bear costume and is hiding out in the caves.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Maybe a ninja costume.

[Lily Sullivan]

Very pissed, by the way, Mercury, Greg is so pissed because he left her with like, all this anger from the towns.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. She's taking it on, I would imagine. So does anyone go to her two bridal shops?

[Lily Sullivan]

No. So that's why ours is kind of failing and everyone's going to the one on Main Street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, but she owns the. So is it a franchise she owns.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, David's Bridal.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see. Okay. So she owns a freaking huge company. She only owns one of them, though, it seems. Yeah, the bad one.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so. And is she out there looking for Jud?

[Lily Sullivan]

No. So she doesn't want to find him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Lily Sullivan]

And so we're like the girls and I, we have to keep to ourselves that we're out there.

[Scott Aukerman]

So all 10 of you are out there trying to find.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, that's why we go in shifts. Like, we go, you know, I take my two hour lunch break and we go up, each of us take the Judd Weeby trail. And like, I'll come back and I'll be like, we still didn't find him. Like, I called. I thought I heard his name.

[Flula Borg]

What happens when. If you guys find Jad Weeby, what happens? What is the next step?

[Lily Sullivan]

So I don't really know, but I think that. I think that Jed would want us all to pile into his big truck and just go, you think he still.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has his big truck? His 50?

[Flula Borg]

Where is the truck?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, I mean, I think at this point, like, I don't know if he's bought a new one. I don't know, because he was like, very like. He's one of the people that I got most of the rumors about the trucks from.

[Scott Aukerman]

So here's your pipeline for these rumors.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah. So I think that he probably has the 350 like we were talking about earlier. I think he probably has the 350 already.

[Scott Aukerman]

He may already have that. Okay. Maybe you should start instead of searching, searching the trail, you should start staking out the Ford dealership.

[Flula Borg]

This seems smart.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Kayla, I. I want to give you some advice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, here we go. Sprague. Because Sprague the Whisperer has got some patented.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Advice.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Kayla, this sounds like a dead end to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Here's what you should do. Move to Los Angeles where all the big dick people move. Scott said earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

And don't say that I said it. If you're gonna say it, you should go sign it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I definitely co sign.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

But I want you to move to la and I've got this guy. You can get some head shots.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a. You have a photographer you work with guy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, he's great. I got a head shot guy. And then maybe, you know, you come in, we talk pitches, you maybe work on a web series.

[Lily Sullivan]

Wow, cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you're.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You're like a podcast or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a little petite for an actress. You're four feet tall.

[Lily Sullivan]

Actors are small.

[Scott Aukerman]

Small actors are small. I mean, you could probably be in a Tom Cruise movie. And. And it would look power over him.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Like, trust me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen, is your photographer. Is. Is your photographer able to adjust for height with perspective?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He puts a little coin down, just.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little nickel next to your toes.

[Flula Borg]

Very smart.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. And then that way you look huge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And this is my. Of course, get headshots. And then, of course, I. I want you to start. You know, I have some acting class. You know, go to ucb, maybe take some classes there.

[Flula Borg]

Martial arts, perhaps?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sure. We could maybe do some CrossFit martial arts training. Yes.

[Lily Sullivan]

I've only done a few photos. Me and the girls did a calendar for David's bridal with. Just posing with a bunch of big trucks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Were you in bridal dresses or.

[Lily Sullivan]

No, we were naked.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're naked. Sorry, what? You're naked. You're naked next to big trucks. This is for David's bridal. Is this approved by the corporation?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Dresses in the background or something? Just hanging from the trucks?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, Merg put it together. So actually, all the ground is covered in the wedding dress.

[Flula Borg]

Wedding dress.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

How would you feel buying your own big truck?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why be reliant on parts here, on a man?

[Lily Sullivan]

You know, I walk the streets and that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, you're still walking the street.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You go for walks, right?

[Flula Borg]

What do you mean when you say this? Just to be clear?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, shop, like daily, or.

[Lily Sullivan]

I just walk. There's no point in having. Look, if you're gonna be with a man, he needs to have a big truck. Okay? So if I'm gonna walk. If I'm gonna walk the streets, it's because I'm hoping that I'm gonna see that big truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're hoping someone, vroom, vroom, will roll up.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Have you ever been single?

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, I was single in that time when Judd fled.

[Scott Aukerman]

How long was that, by the way?

[Lily Sullivan]

It was like three or four hours.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three or four hours you were single.

[Flula Borg]

That feels right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Out there walking the streets, looking for a man, suddenly, vroom, vroom.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And before that, not one second you've been single. You've jumped from truck to truck.

[Lily Sullivan]

Well, all my friends, like all my girls, we've all met our significant others by them yelling at us on the street. Okay, so if.

[Flula Borg]

While you're walking the street.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, while we're walking.

[Scott Aukerman]

What usually works for our listeners out there who are hoping to pick up women on the street by yelling at them from a big truck. What type of conversation usually works like.

[Lily Sullivan]

Damn, girl, you look so sexy. You're asking for it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Look how big you're asking for it already.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't even.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What is he referring to?

[Flula Borg]

That sounds highly inappropriate.

[Lily Sullivan]

Look how big I am. Look how big and hard I am in my big track.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

And then. Damn. Uh. Oh, I'm coming for you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm coming for you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This sounds insane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Colorado is a different place, though. It's not like la.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm from freaking Tampa. That sounds crazy now, I must say. You're boyfriend and all the people you've talked about, they sound freaking insane. I want to help you, girl.

[Lily Sullivan]

You said you've been to Montrose. It's.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's. I know. I was there for like a tiny field.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're wearing a cloak.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're speaking in a fake British accent. You sound insane.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Got this cloak at Uniqlo. It's. It's chill.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you went to Uniqlo and Magique? Yes. From two different places.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, of course. They're great now. Of course now. I. I can't believe I. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm gonna sign you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I just have to get you out of Colorado. It's. It's killing you.

[Lily Sullivan]

I just. I don't. I don't know where I would go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come to la.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wait a minute, Scott. I know what to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hey there, girl. Look at how hot you are. Look at how big. Look at. Look at. Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. Look, I have a truck. It's downstairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's coming for you. He's coming for you.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He's coming for you. It's a 450 downstairs.

[Lily Sullivan]

I need to see their truck.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, okay. It's. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Call your assistant.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Lily Sullivan]

Lloyd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lloyd. Wait, is this Lloyd from Entourage?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, that was a joke based on. Based on me. But hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

So that was based on you, just like Ari was based on Ari Emanuel.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course, of course. Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Right.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. Go down to the Ford dealership. Yes, Lord. Yes. Talk to. Okay, what time's the lunches for?

[Scott Aukerman]

To the board?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay. Somebody's Siri went off there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone's Siri. Is that your Siri?

[Flula Borg]

No, it's not my. Mine's only in German.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hold on. I think. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

How weird.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, okay. 3:30. Oh, all right. All right, bye. What was I doing?

[Scott Aukerman]

You were getting a 450 truck.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I forgot. I have a meeting with.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so this is not happening.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I have a meeting with Vin Diesel later.

[Lily Sullivan]

You can get a 450. I will absolutely move out here. The 350 is what's rumored to come out soon. So if you've got a 450.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm worried though that you're just gonna jump from man to man. Whomever has the biggest truck until, you know, I mean like right now, this truck, the 250, has eight foot tall wheels. They're twice as big as you. I mean, you know, suddenly I had.

[Lily Sullivan]

To get somebody to just kind of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Much like the doves. Yeah. Throwing the doves out or the. What was the other analogy you used?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, it was something with massaging the sparrows.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's right.

[Lily Sullivan]

Yeah, yeah. Someone has to push me up like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Cart won't do it.

[Lily Sullivan]

Oh no, Cart can't lift.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Lily Sullivan]

What? He's gotta slip. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What kind of puny is this?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This guy sucks balls.

[Lily Sullivan]

He's got multiple slipped discs. Cuz he played a lot of football growing up.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Jesus.

[Scott Aukerman]

How? He played a lot. How many games?

[Lily Sullivan]

He played Madden. Like 400 games a year.

[Scott Aukerman]

4, 400 a year?

[Flula Borg]

That's Madden. That's ma.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are Madden. Those are Madden stats. Yeah. Okay, well look, we're coming.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I hope you have a vibrator at the very least.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, this is not a question we like to ask on this show, but do you have a vibrator?

[Lily Sullivan]

I have a truck and I like to sit on the. On the.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just sit on the hood? Yeah. Okay. All right.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, I don't know what to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well look, you're no help. You're going out there, meeting with Vin Diesel.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, but I've got a meeting with Vin Diesel. They're doing a Disney XD show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we, you know, we're just about wrapping up here to get you out in time for that meeting. So there's really only one thing left to do on the show and that is a little something called Plugs.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little something called plug. Okay, that was for My Plugs by Sad Fillmore.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It was like a SoundCloud rapper.

[Flula Borg]

It was very long.

[Scott Aukerman]

This a little too long. How would you have done it?

[Flula Borg]

It just plucks. Here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boom, boom time. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well let's then at least keep our play plugs to A minimum. What do we plug in here? Falula, what do you got?

[Flula Borg]

My podcast. Boom Time and subscribe it and love it and hug me digitally if you like.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And if people see you on the street, and I hope they do.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Offer me some cashews.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. And Sprague, the Whisperer. What do you have? Of course.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, three ninjas, all grown up. That's in pre pro.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six ninjas.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Six ninjas. That's in pre pro right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six ninjas, three on the way.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Maybe that's. Oh, I like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe that's the end.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott, you're already involved.

[Scott Aukerman]

Suddenly, all of the children of the three ninjas, ninjas, their girlfriends, all come back from the doctor full of house type of situation.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Freaking good, Scott. This is why I made Whisper. And, of course, you know, I was a consulting producer on the television show Wrecked on tbs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, I was. I went out to Fiji shot. It was real fun. Zach Kreger, Brian Sacka, great cast.

[Scott Aukerman]

When's this out?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, well, it's already out. Seasons one through three on the TBS app. That's, of course, a very easily accessed app on your Apple tv.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Any commercials you have to sit through if you're watching it on the app? A couple of commercials.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Maybe CNN pre roll or something. They advertise, like, Cuomo tonight a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, so you're watching your own show?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yeah. You're gonna watch Turtle programming? They're doing very well.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Very good. And Kayla Dickey, by the way, your last name is Dickie. Isn't it ironic that's the one thing that you don't have a lot of?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's good, Scott.

[Flula Borg]

Wow, that was harsh.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't mean to be harsh. I just. Like you talked about. I. Yeah. Are you upset?

[Lily Sullivan]

I know. I'm fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're fine with it? Yeah.

[Lily Sullivan]

That's good. That's nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's nice. Have. Have you ever considered, by the way, like, instead of a guy who owns a big truck, just a guy who possesses a big dick and who has, like, a midsize car?

[Lily Sullivan]

For me, it's all about that big truck. And just seeing him in his big truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's lost to us. Let her go.

[Flula Borg]

Just.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I tried, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. And Anything to plug Kayla.

[Lily Sullivan]

Just, like, big trucks, small dicks and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry. Wait. If there was a guy who had a big dick and a big truck, would that be okay?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

There's got to be one.

[Lily Sullivan]

I just. I wouldn't even know what to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

With it there probably has never been a guy with a big dick who's bought a big truck.

[Lily Sullivan]

So I guess just roll that dice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Lily Sullivan]

And follow me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Follow me follow you down the street while you were taking these walks. Just shout stuff at you.

[Lily Sullivan]

Follow me on the street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Lily Sullivan]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to plug the Comedy Bang Bang TV show. If you're in the US all the episodes are out on Netflix. If you're anywhere else, I believe they were all taken down. So sorry about that. I also want to plug the PCast Blast. Coming to LA this Saturday. That is exciting. It's Comedy Bang Bang with myself, Lauren Lapkis, Paul F. Tompkins, a lot of other special guests. We have the Andy Daly pilot podcast project and he's doing something really interesting with it. We also have Doughboy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This the Doughboy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. You're a big fan over there. We also have Throwing Shade, Teacher's lounge, and Off Book. Off Book, of course, the improvised musical. So come see that at the theater at the Ace hotel this Saturday, December 15th. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Flula Borg]

Whoa, what a bag. It's time to open it times.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's time to open the bag. It's time to open up back. It's time to open up back. Oh, so, so close to that being gone.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Who owns the rights to that song?

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, I think the three ninjas may. There may be a package deal there.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Something good about closing up a black. We'll figure it out.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll write it off. Guys, I want to thank you so much. Flula, always great to see you.

[Flula Borg]

Just a quick follow up question. How many people have committed suicide after hearing that song?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was just. Plenty people have committed suicide during this show. In fact, we had several people just jump out a window about 400 episodes back. Got it. But none this year, I believe. Sprague, the Whisperer. Good luck to you. I don't think I'm gonna sign, but Flula was telling me during the break that he's very interested. So.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Can I keep this suit?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course.

[Flula Borg]

Then count me in.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Kayla, look, I would say good luck, but you're gonna live a miserable life.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You're fucked.

[Scott Aukerman]

But who are we to judge?

[Lily Sullivan]

If you're happy, I just ask that you pray for Jed Weeby and yeah, get yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if someone were to find Jed Weeby? Would he be reinstalled as mayor and would you go back there or what is your hope?

[Lily Sullivan]

I think, like I said, he will have a big truck. We will all pile in and we will just head on out.

[Scott Aukerman]

All you see is like the end of a movie, that life's not like that, where credits roll and everyone's just fine.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What's gonna happen is you're gonna drive off in the truck. You're gonna go for a while, he's going to pull over to a gas station. Like, what the hell are we doing? You know, just crazy.

[Lily Sullivan]

Honestly, with Judd at the wheel, I. I don't even care.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is the the magnetism of this Judd Weeby guy with his mayoral sex cult?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Got to meet this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

This guy. I don't know what he has going on, but all right, everyone, pray for Judd Weeby. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.

[F]

What's Poppin listeners? I'm Lacy Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Want to know about the fake errors? We got them. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know, they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o', Brien, and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts.

[G]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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