Bonus Bang: Give It To Gilli! (Gillian Jacobs, Will Hines, Dan Lippert)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: Bonus Bang — “Give It To Gilli!”

Scott Aukerman with Gillian Jacobs, Will Hines (as Henry Sams), Dan Lippert (as Bill Walton)
July 16, 2026 (original episode aired August 15, 2021)

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Episode Overview

In this “Bonus Bang” re-release, Scott Aukerman welcomes a trio of unforgettable guests:

• Gillian Jacobs (actor, “Community,” “Love”)
• Will Hines (comedian, as cartographer Henry Sams)
• Dan Lippert (comedian, as NBA legend and broadcaster Bill Walton)

This high-energy episode delivers classic CBB game-of-tag chaotic wit, character pieces, and meta-podcasting as Scott introduces a “Swish You Were Here” segment focused on the Bill Walton character. The crew riffs on Netflix algorithms, podcast rebranding woes, mapping the soul, witchcraft, fake spells gone awry, summertime regrets, and Gillian's career. Throughout, they continually launch and lampoon “Give it to Gilli!” — a campaign for Gillian to be cast in everything.

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Main Topics & Key Discussion Points

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Gillian Jacobs Returns: Podcast Name Drama & Marvel Fan Casting

00:43–14:45

• Podcast Rebrand: Gillian clarifies her podcast, formerly “If/Then,” is now “Periodic Talks” due to reasons she can’t fully discuss (“Cease and desist. No, we decided to change the name. I don't know, we thought, like, why not confuse our listeners?” — Gillian, 06:39).
• Name Mix-Up Gags: Scott and Gillian riff on the confusion of renaming podcasts and introduce recurring jokes about forgetting names, their own and others.
• Marvel Cinematic Universe: Scott pitches Gillian to play Sue Storm (Invisible Woman); Gillian jokes she’d need her name changed to “Sue Invisible.”
• Netflix & Streaming: They discuss Gillian’s roles in the “Fear Street” trilogy and Netflix’s unpredictable content removals.
• Behind the Scenes: Gillian admits actors rarely recall details about projects after the fact, poking fun at the nature of “timeless” content.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Why is her name Sue Storm if she's the Invisible Woman?" — Gillian (08:47)
• “If you have to explain the segue, it's not a great segue…” — Scott (10:51)
• "Please, go stream Love and Fear Street! Oh, what a great segue." — Gillian (10:43)
• “I have to do eight hours of research just to seem dumb.” — Scott (17:22)

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Meet Henry Sams, Cartographer & Desperate Map-Salesman

24:25–44:13

• Character Introduction: Will Hines debuts Henry Sams: a lonely, fact-based cartographer desperate for business in a GPS-filled world.
• Personal Maps: Henry now custom-makes “sentimental” maps for individuals (“little things of interest to me, like, oh, I like this restaurant… or this is the place where someone spit on me”—Henry, 30:56).
• Witchcraft & Familiar: Henry introduces his cat Lulu, a “perpetual kitten” familiar, citing the dark arts.
• Mapping the Soul: Segment where Henry uses a spell to “map the evil” in Scott and Gillian’s souls — results are unorthodox (“itchiness” and “floating,” respectively).
• Jab at Podcasting: Henry, Scott, and Gillian riff on the grind of podcast production and meta-cast as “Periodic Talks” within CBB.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I'm selling the crap out of them!” — Henry, about making single-use, personalized maps (43:43)
• “You have a closing phrase in the world of cartography. Mine is 'Map Finito.'” — Henry (27:02)
• “It's a sin to be itchy. In my family, it was. I mean, yeah, like 100% itchy.” — Henry, diagnosing Scott (40:00)
• "Her sin is floating." — Henry (43:18)
• Hashtag riff: “Give it to Gilly!” (38:24, recurring throughout)

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Witchcraft, Love Spells, R.L. Stine, and Farting Out Sadness

45:00–62:17

• Love Spell Gone Wrong: Gillian and Scott convince Henry to conjure a love spell to win back his lost love “Anna” — but accidentally ensnare R.L. Stine, legendary horror writer (played by Dan Lippert).
• Comic Meltdown: R.L. Stine, unexpectedly in love with Henry, delivers increasingly melodramatic and existential commentary before dying (briefly).
• Shakespearean References: Group quotes “Midsummer Night’s Dream,” and “Romeo & Juliet” (58:45–59:02).
• Meta-Commentary: Bittersweet humor on the blurring of their real and fictional universes (“We killed R.L. Stine… wow… that can’t be his last words.”—Scott, 61:00).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “A love spell that was not meant for you… That’s on me.” — Gillian, after R.L. Stine becomes obsessed (58:09)
• “A real Midsummer Night’s Dream conundrum.” — Gillian (58:42)
• “He can’t say ‘that sucks’ as his last words… oh no, it’s on this podcast.” — Scott (61:00)

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Bill Walton Joins: Summertime, Shakespeare, and Improv Deep Cuts

62:27–79:09

• Lippert’s Improvised Bill Walton: The sports legend waxes poetic on summer, basketball, ice cream, Grateful Dead, and maps, blending non sequiturs, pure joy, and existential dread.
• Gillian as Bill Walton: Gillian attempts a (wildly inaccurate) Bill Walton impression and is campaign-nominated to star in the biopic “Give it to Billy.”
• Improv & Nostalgia: Inside jokes about improv classes (“Big Booty” game, Will Hines, The Smokes, references to UCB and MADtv).
• Summertime: Discussion about the fleeting nature of happiness as compared to melting ice cream (71:46).

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You shouldn’t have made a last name that sounds so much like Hines. It’s hard to keep.” — Bill Walton to Henry (72:18)
• “Give it to Gilly!” — (multiple; the group's campaign for Gillian to be recast in everything)
• “Gillian Jones” — Bill’s enthusiastic mangling of Gillian’s name (73:39)

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Plugs, Final Gags, & Ride-Out

82:25–90:51

• Plug Time:
  • Gillian: “Periodic Talks” podcast and “Fear Street” trilogy on Netflix, plus “Love.”
  • Henry/Will Hines: “Screw It, We're Just Gonna Talk About Comics.”
  • Bill/Dan: “You're the Man Now, Dog” podcast, biggrandewebsite.com
• Final Madness:
  • R.L. Stine returns as a zombie (90:01), seeking Henry at 1000 Mill Plain Rd.
  • Scott: “We’ll see you next time. Bye.” (90:45)

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Memorable Quotes (Selected with Timestamps)

• “Why did I create a podcast in which I have to interview really smart people... and try to do enough research so I can have a coherent conversation with them? WHY?” — Gillian Jacobs [17:08]
• “I'm selling the crap out of them!” — Henry Sams (Will Hines), on hand-made maps [43:43]
• “It’s a sin to be itchy. In my family, it was. 100% itchy.” — Henry (40:00)
• "We killed R.L. Stine. Wow." — Scott Aukerman [61:00]
• “One of the great clams in history – for Clamato.” — Gillian Jacobs (84:25)
• “Give it to Gilly!” — Recurring, various speakers [intro’d ~38:24 and throughout the remainder]

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Theme, Tone & Takeaways

• Theme: The absurdity of having too many passions and platforms, the existential grind and glory of podcasting, and the surreal intersection of fame, fandom, and fate.
• Tone: Rapid-fire, meta, self-mocking, and gleefully unhinged. The improv is affectionate, knowingly silly, but grounded in deep comedic chops and a willingness to follow any riff into the weeds.
• Utility: Even if you haven’t listened, this episode provides a prime Comedy Bang Bang experience: hosts and guests blending character work, industry in-jokes, and recurring call-backs that reward both insiders and newcomers. Gillian’s self-effacing humor and the all-in performances of Lippert and Hines make it a fan-favorite.

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Notable Timestamps

• 04:43 – Gillian’s podcast branding woes
• 10:51 – Segue awkwardness & Fear Street plug
• 24:54 – Introduction of Henry Sams, meta “podcast within a podcast” jokes
• 38:24 – “Give it to Gilly!” meme launches
• 40:00–44:13 – Mapping the Seven Deadly Sins, “itchiness” and “floating”
• 56:38–61:00 – R.L. Stine’s love spell, Shakespearean death scene
• 65:58–66:19 – Shakespeare/Goop/“Shakespeare in Love” Oscar banter
• 73:45 – Gillian’s spontaneous Squarespace plug (ad parody goes off rails)
• 79:04–81:43 – “Bill Walton” biopic discussion, voice auditions
• 82:25–88:55 – Plugs & wrap-up banter
• 90:00–90:41 – R.L. Stine returns as a zombie, Gillian & Henry wrap up

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Summary Table

| Segment | Main Topic | Highlights | |---------|------------|------------| | 00:43–14:45 | Gillian dishes on podcasting, Marvel, Netflix | Podcast name change, Fear Street trilogy, meta jokes about acting | | 24:25–44:13 | Henry Sams & Personal Cartography | Mapping souls, dark arts, ‘Map Finito’, Lulu the perpetual kitten | | 45:00–62:17 | Love spells gone awry, Shakespearean chaos | R.L. Stine cameo, failed spell, deathbed humor | | 62:27–79:09 | Bill Walton’s summer philosophies & meta-improv | Improv nostalgia, failed impressions, melting ice cream analogy | | 82:25–90:51 | Plugs & bonus goofs | Show plugs, “zombie” R.L. Stine, classic CBB closure |

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For Fans of:

• Quick-witted, surreal improv
• In-jokes about podcasts, acting, comics, and sports
• Comedy that knows and satirizes itself
• Campaigns for Gillian Jacobs in all media — “Give It To Gilli!”

Enjoy the ride, and don’t forget to hashtag your campaign: #GiveItToGilli

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Coke Zero Sugar with real

[Gillian Jacobs]

Coca Cola taste and zero sugar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen closely.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Hear those bubbles.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the sound of delicious Real Coca

[Gillian Jacobs]

Cola taste and Zero sugar. Ice cold Ah Cook. Zero sugar. Real Coca Cola taste.

[Scott Aukerman]

Zero sugar.

[Bill Walton]

Some flavors can only be crafted by nature. One sunny day, a honeybee discovered a mysterious apple blossom and carried its pollen to a honeycrisp tree. Months later, something extraordinary was born the the Sugar Bee Apple. With notes of honey, caramel and molasses, balanced by bright sweetness and an extra crisp crunch, Sugar Bee apples elevate everything from charcuterie boards and salads to baked treats and everyday snacking. Ready for some inspiration? Download our free recipe book and discover delicious ways to enjoy Sugar bee [e-mail] Sugar Bee apples from Bee to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey everyone, this is Scott Aukerman. And welcome to another bonus bang where we are re releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the Paywall. And last week we started a new series we're very excited by continuing this week. It's a series called Swish youh Were Here that showcases NBA All Star and sportscaster Bill Walton. Now Bill, of course is played by Dan Lippert. And what do we have this week? We have an episode titled Give It To Gilly. We know this is a classic already. It stars of course, Gillian Jacobs from Community. Then we also have Will Hines as cartographer Henry Saims. And and we have Dan playing Bill Walton. Now this was originally released on August 15, 2021 as episode 719. And as I've mentioned before, Comedy Bang Bang. We're in the middle of our 2026 ground beefing tour and we're touring North America, the UK and Ireland. And the UK and Ireland is coming up I believe next week. Even so, don't miss your chance to catch me and Paul F. Tompkins and Andy Daly at the UK in the UK rather and Ireland and then me, Paul F. Tomp and the CBB All Stars in other cities as we come to a city near you hopefully. Now our live shows filled with surprises, the funniest guests, great crowds. Come on out. Join the fun. You can check out all of the tour dates and buy tickets@cbb world.com tour if you enjoyed this episode. You want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen the Neighborhood. Listen in Collegetown you can become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives. Every Live show ad free new episodes. We have Bill Walton's podcast that he has his own little podcast he does himself called Eat, Pray, Dunk, which is available in the CBB Presents feed. Plus, we're releasing all of the live episodes we're doing the very next day for all of our Maximus subscribers. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang. The linguini is fine, but for a few dollars more, you can have spaghetti Western. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Naked Laser Lemonade. Oh, I like all three of those things. Lasers, lemonades and naked.

[Bill Walton]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doing both of those things. Lasers. And I got. Doing a laser. I'm not quite sure. I guess doing laser tag. Sure. Oh, man, that was fun. My laser tag years. Oh, boy. From like approximately 2012 to 2019. My laser tag years cut short by, of course, the novel coronavirus. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have a wonderful show coming up a little later. We have a broadcaster, another broadcaster, a fellow broadcaster, I should say, and he is a fellow. So that works out. We also have a cartographer, a map maker. For you idiots who don't know what that means, I can certainly dumb it down for you. But speaking of dumbing it down, our first guest is. She's an actress of note. She's in movies, she's in television shows, and she's also a fellow podcaster. Now, perhaps coming for me, nipping at my heels on wanting to get up there on Mount Podmore. Her new podcast is all about the menstruation cycles of women humans, I guess, called Period Talks. Please welcome back to the show, Gillian Jacobs.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, Scotty. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, put that next to your mouth. What do you say as you do it? No. Welcome back to the show.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Thank you for having me. Yeah. What's this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Period Talks. What is this? Last time you were on the show, you were talking about this dynamite podcast called if Then, and you had your friend Diana on.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Diana, my co host? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, she was. Why didn't you bring her? She's so fun.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Too good for you.

[Henry Sams]

I get it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meaning she didn't feel that way. You just thought that she was too good for me and decided not to bring her.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, we recorded earlier today. I mentioned that I was coming here and she said, oh, send them my love.

[Scott Aukerman]

But no jealousy. No. Like, oh, I would.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Once was enough.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Gillian Jacobs]

No, she's. I don't know. Why didn't you invite her? I didn't Know I was allowed to invite other guests.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yes, all are welcome here.

[Gillian Jacobs]

What? Since when?

[Scott Aukerman]

You could have brought anyone. Anytime you've been on the show.

[Gillian Jacobs]

If I had known that, I would have brought Diana.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a plus three every single time.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I do?

[Scott Aukerman]

What character?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I should read the fine print you

[Scott Aukerman]

slipped into this 50s or 40s character.

[Bill Walton]

What? Hello?

[Scott Aukerman]

What I do, Mrs. Ricardo, I will get the bill.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes, I have a podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened to that old podcast? Because that seemed fun. That seemed like it was a good idea, but it. Poof. It went away.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It went away and now it has returned with a new name, Periodic Talks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Periodic Talks. I'm sorry, why did I write down period Talks?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Did you really write down.

[Scott Aukerman]

I really did. I guess I forgot to hear.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I thought that was just a bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

No bits. 99% of the stupid things I say on this show are not a bit I have to say. Yeah. What happened?

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's called Periodic Talks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Periodic Talks.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Periodic Talks.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the same show, though.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's the same show.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I can't talk about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Cease and desist.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Cease and desist. No, we decided to change the name. I don't know, we thought, like, why not confuse our listeners?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. With the name of another podcast.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah, I mean, do you really like this podcast or you kind of like this podcast?

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of people don't do that. They. Whenever they say, hey, I came up with a name for my podcast, they go, it's this. And I go, well, have you checked to see if there's 80 other podcasts with that name? And they never do. You had to change it. I see. I don't like that. I don't like when a podcast is. It gets going, it's doing really well, people know it, and then suddenly, like, you know, midway through, they change their name. I mean, it's poor planning, it's shoddy. It really is.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, I thought this used to be called Comedy Death Ray. Uh oh, goodbye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Forgot about that one.

[Henry Sams]

I'll get the bill.

[Scott Aukerman]

But that's still going.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Still going.

[Scott Aukerman]

Diana is your co host and you talk to. Is it still. It's steam, people.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Gillian Jacobs]

The premise remains the same. It's just a brand new name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So every. From basically the top down, it's all the same.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's all the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

But the little alfalfa sticking up on the hair, that's changed.

[Gillian Jacobs]

That's the only thing that has changed.

[Bill Walton]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or from the toes. The toes have changed.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Think about it. The nail polish on the toes has changed. But Everything else has remained the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, wonderful. And how often do you say the title of the show on the show?

[Gillian Jacobs]

At the beginning of the show and at the end of the show when we do the credits.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you do the credits. Is this like, Marvel, by the way, where you do, like, fun little scenes in the middle of the credits where, like, you know, oh, Julia Louis Dreyfus comes in, is like, gillian, I'm recruiting you.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah. Yes, it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to be in those Marvel movies?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who would you play? Are you up for Sue Storm in the Fantastic Four?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? You should do that.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay. I am Sue Storm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meaning I like to not see you. The Invisible Woman.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Why is her name Sue Storm if she's the Invisible Woman?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what you mean. You think her Christian name should be Sue Invisible?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's a good point. I mean, he is Mr. Fantastic.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Does he have another name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Reed Richards, of course.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, I've already forgotten after I did that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know you were working with the Marvel Universe for a while with that Marvel documentary, and then none of the

[Gillian Jacobs]

people I profiled, I don't think they'd written the Fantastic Four. The only Fantastic Four character I dealt with on that was the. Their son who was part of Franklin Richards.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Franklin. He was.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was part of Power Pack.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Exactly. Thank you. So he was the only one. Like, the parents are always off somewhere in space, far, far away. It sort of left him there, and that's why he was hanging out with the kids of Power Pack, so I didn't bother to learn about the parents.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you were. Your documentary wasn't about kids in the Marvel Universe. It was about female creators in the Marvel Universe. And I believe Weezy Simonson, she wrote Power Pack.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Is that what it is? Exactly. Exact sky.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did not watch it, though.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Well, I don't care.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you get paid either way if I watch it or don't?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Probably. I got. Yeah. Yeah, probably. I mean, I don't have a Scott Aukerman clause in my contract yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you should. You should enact one, because I think that's very important.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Would you ever lie for me and said you watch something? So I got.

[Scott Aukerman]

Try me out. I'm a very good liar. Try it out.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Hey, Scott, have you ever listened to periodic talks or period talks as you thought it was?

[R.L. Stine]

Yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay, great. I believed you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Hey, have you ever watched Love, Also starring your good friend Paul Rust?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Good show.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I love that show. Of course, you know, if people you know, it's still up there. As far as I know. Netflix, they've only taken a few things down.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes, we've remained.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have remained up. They started taking stuff down, though. I mean, were they.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Their own shows?

[Scott Aukerman]

Their own shows. They said, like, stuff they've made.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Uh. Oh, please, please, go stream Love and Fear Street. Oh, what a great segue. Let's talk about that layup. Thank you for that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because it's on Netflix. That's what we need to explain this. If you have to explain the segue, it's not a great segue, But Fear Street. You are in these Fear street trilogy movies, which just came out about a month ago on Netflix. Three separate. They're horror films.

[Gillian Jacobs]

They're interconnected. Scott.

[Henry Sams]

Oh.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, yeah. It's three films that all take place in these towns of Shadyside and Sunny. I can't remember.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was gonna say, how do you remember any detail of anything you ever shoot?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't. But they are all based on.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's all nonsense, right? Like, everything. Everything you're in. I mean, everything anyone is in is nonsense. Everything. Anyone. I mean, you know what I mean? Like. Like, even the best movie in the world. Like, talk to, like. Like nomadland. Talk to Fr. What's her name? McDermott.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Dormant.

[Scott Aukerman]

McDormand. Talk to her like, a year afterwards. Ago. What was your character's name? She's like, I don't know who.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Maybe it's on the Oscar. Do you think they write the characters?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. I don't believe they do. They write the. Because, you know, I'm just. I'm three away from an egot, so gonna get there at some point. So I've been investigating that. But. So Fear Street, I think you'll win

[Gillian Jacobs]

an Oscar first as an actor, writer or director or producer, hopefully all of

[Scott Aukerman]

them for the same film or for different films. That would be amazing.

[Gillian Jacobs]

One year, in one year, four different

[Scott Aukerman]

films win Oscars for each of them.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Forget an egot. Now the goal is four Oscars. One year.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want an Ooh.

[Bill Walton]

Ooh.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's four O's.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Well, I feel like it could be an Ooh year for me with these three Fear street films.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, you're not in one Noel,

[Bill Walton]

but you're in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're in the others.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's a double Ooh. You could win for acting in both of them because they're two separate films.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Does it work like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they're two different films.

[Gillian Jacobs]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not like, you know, back to the Future 2 and 3 came out in the same calendar year.

[Bill Walton]

They did?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but they're not going to. One came out in, like, May and one came out in December. It was a May, December romance there. Much like Christopher Lloyd and Mary Steenburgeon. But they're in Back to the Future three is love.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were very confused. You haven't seen Back to the Future 3. You hadn't seen the end of the trilogy.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I've only seen the first one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then you don't know anything.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah, I know. That's why I looked confused.

[Scott Aukerman]

He floats off of the ground on a hoverboard, what Marty McFly does.

[Gillian Jacobs]

If I knew Mary Steenburgen was in it, I would have watched it years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's good. It's a very sweet romance between the two of them. But, of course, he's an old guy and she's a young woman. And that's Hollywood for you, right? Yeah, but Fear street, speaking of Hollywood, they have three different years on them. One is like. What's the first one?

[Gillian Jacobs]

1994.

[Scott Aukerman]

1994. Then what?

[Gillian Jacobs]

1970. Something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Gillian Jacobs]

1666.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And that's triple six. That's the number of the Beast. It's a human number.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's a human number. As a maiden, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so. That's just from the Iron Maiden song or Number of the Beast.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Once again, never heard it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you haven't seen Back to the future 3. You haven't listened to Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden. What have you been doing with your life?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just kicking around Juilliard.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, gosh.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

You know, we didn't really listen to a lot of Iron Maiden at Juilliard, but we could have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you get any blowback from your last appearance from the Juilliard folk over there? Because you went deep into the process. Listen to the last episode. It was a few months back. We talked a lot about Juilliard. Did you hear anything about that from any of the instructors, or are you Persona non grata with that?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm assuming I am. No one has reached out to me to say otherwise. So I'm gonna assume, like, John Houseman

[Scott Aukerman]

hasn't liked from beyond the Grave?

[Gillian Jacobs]

No. No, I have not heard from John Houseman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he teach there?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes, he did.

[Scott Aukerman]

He wanted to start it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah. He started the drama. To put it on his biographies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

For never having been invited to go there or audition.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Was that movie the Paper Chase? Did he win an Oscar for that or. He was nominated.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a TV show. I Believe. And it was an Emmy.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Never mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he was, you know, three from me. God, as well. No, not an O. Although I bet he did. He win for Citizen Kane. Fascinating biographies, by the way, by John Houseman. Read those, but not before you watch Fear Street. 1994, 1970 something. Just watch all of it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Go watch love. Just press play, by the way, so they don't pull it off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just play and walk away. Exactly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Play and walk away.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, I was reading a tweet of a fan of these movies. Someone, you know, someone who was in Mad Men with you. Oh, wait, no, you weren't. That was your. The other person.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Allison.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Rich Summer.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I was in love with Rich Summer.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, that's right.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wasn't he?

[Gillian Jacobs]

What a fan you are?

[Scott Aukerman]

He was your.

[Gillian Jacobs]

He was my ex boyfriend.

[Scott Aukerman]

He cornered the market with, like, shitty ex boyfriends for a little while with Allison. And you.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I was first. And then he was on Glow with Allison. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Weird, isn't it?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I think he's a terrific actor. He was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's an amazing actor. But he talked about these films on Twitter the other day, saying that he loved them, that he thought they were amazing. I was like, incredible. And he hopes that there is a series to come out of them.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

He absolutely loved them. And he.

[Gillian Jacobs]

This guy's onto something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So I. I want to check him out. Of course, Kulap can't watch scary movies, so I have to. And, you know, I don't know that that title is scary by itself. Fear Street.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Fear Street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that the character you play in this movie? Well, watch these. And your manager really wanted me to stress your podcast.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Periodic talks. Periodic talks.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how is that doing? How is it being a podcaster?

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's a lot of work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah, tell me about it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you think I'm not in movies? I'm here every goddamn Monday.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's been amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have, like. People have come to me and said, hey, do you want to be in this movie? And I've been like, well, every Monday I have to do Bang Bang. And they're like, oh, yeah, we're.

[Gillian Jacobs]

No, no, get out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah. So, I mean, also, why did I create a podcast in which I have to interview really smart people who are experts in all different fields within the STEM world and try and do enough research so I can have a coherent conversation with them? Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

I know you have to probably do eight hours of research just to seem dumb.

[Gillian Jacobs]

That's actually accurate. Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

So how much longer do you have on that. Is that gonna continue or. You seem exhausted by it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

No, I'm excited by it.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a fun show.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It is a fun show. Yeah. The second season is out now, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're doing it by seasons. That's a good way to take breaks.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah. So we have some exciting special guests that are coming up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Special guests.

[Gillian Jacobs]

One of whom we've actually mentioned in this conversation.

[Scott Aukerman]

In this very conversation. Rich Summer.

[Gillian Jacobs]

No, someone else.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alison Brie.

[Gillian Jacobs]

You got me there. But somebody else, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone else as well. John Houseman. Who have we talked about? Oh, Christopher Lloyd. Mary Steenbergen. Mary Steenbergen. She's coming on this show. This is amazing.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about this.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of the best actresses of our generation or any generation, alive or dead. One of the best actresses in the world.

[Gillian Jacobs]

She's pretty spectacular.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's alive, yes. Yeah. But she's just as good as the dead ones. Any dead actress. Put her next to Mary Steenburgen. She holds up, especially now that they're dead. She's putting out great work. I love her.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I love her, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's great. What does she come on to talk about?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I can say no more. I can say no more.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I guess it's about her music hearing. I forget what the actual thing is. Okay, well, I'm excited about that because I tell people about that sometimes, and they can't believe that the Mary Steenburgeon that we know and love has this thing. I don't want to spoil it. Just listen to period talks and she'll discuss it on that. And that's a great podcast. When's it come out?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Tuesdays.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tuesdays.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Tuesdays on the Stitcher Network.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, wonderful. Gillian Jacobs is here. We have to take a break, if that's okay. Can you stick around? No, no, please stay.

[Gillian Jacobs]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has this interview beaten you down?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm tired, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is happening?

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's the life of a podcaster.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I get it. I get it. We will. Speaking of lives of podcasters, I am a podcaster and I am alive. And I have two other alive people coming on the show. We have a fellow broadcaster, and we have a cartographer. Plus we have Gillian Jacobs. Boy, what a show. We are going to be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

[Gillian Jacobs]

All right,

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah, No, I don't need to.

[Henry Sams]

I don't understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're trusting your signal out here.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm trusting T Mobile. They have the best network and if we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got T Satellite for backup.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa, I don't trust my carrier that much.

[Gillian Jacobs]

We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.

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[Scott Aukerman]

comedy bang bang we are back with Gillian J. Fear the Fear street trilogy. Hopefully going to be a series on Netflix. Have you gotten the numbers there? Have they called you with the three day numbers then the 30 day numbers?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm not a fancy producer like you Scott, so I don't get those kind of calls.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got the three day call, I got the 30 day call and they said and then at the end of a year we'll give you the year numbers. I said okay, what time is that going to be? And that made them laugh. Very funny. Never heard from them again now for two years now.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm terrified. I didn't know they were pulling their own titles off of Netflix.

[Scott Aukerman]

So please, I can't remember what they pulled.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Beer Street Watch Love Watch other things please.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's kind of weird to put these horror movies out in July, but I think it's a great strategy. Everyone's around.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Well, one of them takes place at a summer camp.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's a good point. Okay, great. Okay. Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Fear Street 1990 something, 1970 something, 1960 something, 1616 something. They're all out there but you can easily searchable. We have to get to our next guest. He is a cartographer which we mentioned earlier is a mapmaker. Please welcome for the first time on the show. What a pleasure. And you're used to. Did you do any cartography reading up in order to just seem dumb.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Haven't yet done that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, if you ever have one on your show, this will be good practice.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

You in here?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay, great. I will be here as Gillian Jacobs, co host of Periodic Talks today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, we're doing. We're hosting competing podcasts.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Great. Okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two podcasts for the price of one. That's the way I look at it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Hi, I'm Gillian Jacobs, and welcome to Periodic Talks. Of course, each week we talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is the show where we talk to interesting people. Humanities podcast, of course. We have a cartographer on the show. Please welcome to the show. For the time.

[Gillian Jacobs]

First.

[Scott Aukerman]

First time. Henry Sains.

[Henry Sams]

Hello. Yes. Wow, thank you so much. Scott and Gillian, what a thrill.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Welcome to Periodic Talks.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, I didn't expect that second one, but sure, the more exposure, the better.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I expect this to air as an episode of your show, by the way.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Clip it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just take me out of it, and then it's just.

[Gillian Jacobs]

You quite easy. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, hey.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome to the show. Henry, Sam. So great to meet you.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, yeah, I'm thrilled to be here. Listen, I'm gonna be real honest with you, Bol, if that's all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I expect full candor from all of our guests. Please.

[Henry Sams]

I'm not a good liar. I have to be straight up. I'm looking for business. I'm looking for business.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

I'm a cartographer. I make maps. And as you might guess, in recent decades, map making not as in demand.

[Scott Aukerman]

We've been everywhere, you know, been everywhere.

[Henry Sams]

Everything's covered. Yeah, most maps are for places. Once you mapped it once, you don't need to do it again.

[Scott Aukerman]

You really should have thought to be in a business where it has repeat business. You know what I mean? Like podcasts. Gillian and I. Oh, it's perfect because we put out one a week.

[Gillian Jacobs]

One a week.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doesn't tire us out at all.

[Gillian Jacobs]

No, it's energizing.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is energizing to be here.

[Henry Sams]

I've never heard of a podcast host getting tired or anybody getting tired of it. So you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys were smart, but for you, making a map, are you energetic? The minute you. You set down your pen and you're like, map done. I love say something like that. Map done.

[Henry Sams]

Everyone has a closing phrase in the world of cartography. I don't. I wish I had map done. Mine is map finito.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone else had Map Dunn. Another cartographer.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah. Map Dunn was who? Gosh, who knows?

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably Magellan had that Matt Dunn. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah. A man named Matt Dunne would have loved to have had it and probably doesn't. It's a competitive world.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you say map? Finito.

[Henry Sams]

Map. Finito.

[Scott Aukerman]

And is anyone around to hear this or.

[Henry Sams]

Never. I'm alone in my room. It's a lonely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's your room. Who else do you want in there?

[Henry Sams]

Nobody. You're right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I have an animal companion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but what's the point of getting a room?

[Henry Sams]

I do have an. Thank you for asking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, what do you have?

[Henry Sams]

Kitty cat. I consider her a little familiar.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, yes, Like a witch's familiar.

[Henry Sams]

Like a witch.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Like an extension of street 1666.

[Henry Sams]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever heard those words before? Fear. Street.

[Henry Sams]

Fear.

[Scott Aukerman]

1666.

[Henry Sams]

I haven't. That'd be a great.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never heard of any of those words?

[Henry Sams]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fear.

[Henry Sams]

Never.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never heard of fear.

[Henry Sams]

Never.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on, hold on. Turn around for a second.

[Henry Sams]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is that? That's fear. This.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, I'm alone so much. I'm never startled.

[Scott Aukerman]

My life is not even your kitty cat jumping on you.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, no. She's a sweetheart. She never would. She never would. She's my familiar. She cares for me.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Do you know that I actually in real life named my cat after a witch's familiar? From the Scottish play. I respect.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, thank you very much. Oh, boy. Don't want to say that around here.

[Henry Sams]

That's a superstitious we have in the map making world too. You're not allowed to say that particular play.

[Bill Walton]

No, don't. Scott.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Bent three times and spit over my shoulder.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've had that feeling again. Twice in one day. Have you heard of the Melancholy Dane?

[Henry Sams]

Yes. You're talking about coming up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dane Cook. When his brother stole all that money from him.

[Henry Sams]

Can't believe I don't know any Danish people.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Matt, Map. Beth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Map. Beth.

[Henry Sams]

Yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not bad.

[Henry Sams]

I'm gonna write it down.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Cat's name.

[Henry Sams]

I wish it was my kitty. Cat's name is Lulu. After the British singer.

[Scott Aukerman]

After the British singer. To sir with love.

[Gillian Jacobs]

That's right.

[Henry Sams]

She's my favorite.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where do you live, by the way? What's your address?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah, let's. Let's get more information.

[Henry Sams]

Well, that's very personal to find out a map maker's address, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I just. It ties into an earlier question. So I'm wondering if you have an address. If you could just say it. We can bleep it if you want. But I just want to hear.

[Henry Sams]

You just want to know what my address.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just want to know what your address.

[Henry Sams]

I'm on 1000 Mill Plain Road.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

Danbury, Connecticut.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Just wanted to see. You haven't heard of that word street. Okay, good.

[Henry Sams]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Just wanted to see if I can catch you.

[Henry Sams]

What if I almost walked into one there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Laid the trap.

[Henry Sams]

Nope. I've never heard of street. Never heard of, Feared. Never heard of 1666.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, 1666. Interesting, interesting.

[Henry Sams]

What else?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I have a question for you. We're still finding out a lot about, which I know about because I've actually interviewed an astronaut for my podcast, Periodic Talks.

[Henry Sams]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a brag.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah. Thank you. And so why don't you start?

[Scott Aukerman]

Which part? Her Knowing a lot about space.

[Henry Sams]

Just having an astronaut on her podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I've never. No, I've had one astronaut on her.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Whom?

[Henry Sams]

Who's that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't remember what his name was, but it was about a year and a half ago.

[Henry Sams]

That's gonna be a bummer for that person. You're an astronaut. Not enough to make people remember you.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Why don't you map space? Space?

[R.L. Stine]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jeff Bezos.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I would love to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Went up there in a dang penis the other day.

[Henry Sams]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flying around in a flying dong.

[Henry Sams]

I know, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he's like, let's. Let's throw out our trash up here. You could be the first person to map it.

[Henry Sams]

I would love to map space. I would love to. There's no money in it. Who wants to buy a map of space?

[Bill Walton]

I'm.

[Henry Sams]

I'm broke. I gotta sell these maps.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which. Which maps do you have? You have maps that people could buy.

[Henry Sams]

What I've resorted to, since, like, most things are map, is I make personal, individualized maps. So it is of an area that technically they could find on an existing map. But I try to personalize.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like this.

[Henry Sams]

Try to, like, mark things. For example, Scott, if I were to make a map for you, I could theoretically map your route to work.

[Bill Walton]

Sure.

[Henry Sams]

And maybe mark things that are little

[Scott Aukerman]

things of interest to me, like, oh, I like this restaurant or something you like or what? This is the place where someone spit on me.

[Henry Sams]

Okay. That'd be a weird one to include, but it would be personal and individualized and that. I could sell that to you and you might frame that. That could be sentimental and it uses my map making skills, but it still has.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where would you. Where would you get mapped if you could get a personalized map?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I. I like to do what if you did like someone's whole life?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. The every step they've taken.

[Henry Sams]

It could be we could start where you were born, for example, and into a place where you live currently. We could mark things along.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet there are babies who were born during iPhones with GPS that they know every single place that the baby is ever gone.

[Henry Sams]

I wish I could remember for that generation. The map, the individualized maps are going to be so accurate. I can't wait for you guys. I gotta guess a little bit. Yes. The woman in the corner.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Is it important that a map is accurate?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's a good point.

[Henry Sams]

That's an interesting question. I'm gonna say yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I've seen some like exaggerated maps of like the United States or like

[Henry Sams]

a New Yorker's view of the world or like, oh, New York is big and the rest of the country and

[Scott Aukerman]

then everything is small.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I love that cover of those enrage me.

[Henry Sams]

Those are inaccurate maps and their popularity baffles me. Why anybody would like an inaccurate or purposefully distorted map. I do not understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

You like them.

[Henry Sams]

Sorry to get so angry.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's quite all right. We. I'm used to appreciate the passion we had. The fear.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

On our end.

[Henry Sams]

But so really 1666 now are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you accurate to. In the sense of you're to scale, but everything is exact. Exact, exact. Do you do all the measurements yourself and everything?

[Henry Sams]

Yes, it's got to be to the scale of the. Whatever that map is.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the scale of a map?

[Henry Sams]

Usually my personally favorite. One to ten.

[Scott Aukerman]

One to ten.

[Gillian Jacobs]

One to 10.

[Scott Aukerman]

So only.

[Henry Sams]

Only 10 times as small.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are big maps.

[Henry Sams]

Hey, that's how I like it. Most of my walls are just maps of the neighborhood.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are giant maps.

[Henry Sams]

They look great. One to 10 is A. It's really.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or they're small maps of a very small area.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah. If it's like a molecule or something.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Ooh, yeah. Or what about. You can make placemats. Like little kids like to have placema. Or maybe parents like educational placements.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. Gillian's pointing at me like I'm going to cosign. So. Okay. Yeah, sure.

[Gillian Jacobs]

You know.

[Henry Sams]

Okay, so like a map the size of a placemat so the kid can be learning something while they're eating or whatever. Like a map of their neighborhood, maybe where they're to go or they're not allowed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you like to learn things while you're eating?

[Bill Walton]

Yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Didn't you ever read cereal boxes growing up?

[Scott Aukerman]

Cereal boxes?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Didn't they used to have fun Facts on cereal boxes. Maybe a little game.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, occasionally I would look at the Wheaties box and figure out who won the Olympics that year.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Guess I've always been more of an intellectual.

[Scott Aukerman]

I suppose maybe you are.

[Henry Sams]

We weren't allowed to read the cereal boxes in my house growing up. I had a very religious family.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does religion have to do with cereal boxes?

[Henry Sams]

They just controlled. My parents, controlled the information we were exposed to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anything that wasn't religious, you weren't able to.

[Henry Sams]

They didn't want to risk it. They didn't know what was in the back of these things. They didn't know what sort of information. Yes. Woman in the corner.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Question. How do they then feel about you referring to your cat as a familiar?

[Henry Sams]

It's been. It's caused a huge separation.

[Scott Aukerman]

You drift with your family.

[Henry Sams]

I had to basically agree to disagree. And I'm not interested in witchcraft. Is that very much? Yeah, the dark arts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so they're dark arts when you practice them?

[Henry Sams]

I only like the dark arts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Henry Sams]

Not the light ones. Not the good ones.

[Gillian Jacobs]

So maybe there's an area here where you could make a map of something related to your interest in witchcraft.

[Henry Sams]

Done it already.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who would he sell it to? Himself?

[Henry Sams]

Yes, the trouble. The trouble. Gillion and I. And first of all, thank you for the suggestions. I don't mean to be critical of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not making podcasts for me to listen to.

[Henry Sams]

I can't sell my dark.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I thought you're supposed to be your own first target. Best audience. If you don't like it, who's got off?

[Henry Sams]

What I have tried to do is to map the evil in people's souls.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

I cast a spell of the dark arts with my familiar Lulu. Lulu perpetual.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is Lulu here? Could we see. Could we do this spell? Could we practice it on Gillion over here?

[Henry Sams]

Because I would happen to have Lulu here in my satchel.

[Gillian Jacobs]

A real suit. Sue Storm.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. You should be Sue Storm, by the way.

[Gillian Jacobs]

All right, I am.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, I thought you read a Native American tsunami. But you mean the character from Fantastic Four.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes, I meant the Invisible Woman Tsunami.

[Scott Aukerman]

How long have you been sitting on that? Since we were talking about it earlier.

[Henry Sams]

I'm holding onto it for a little while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good. Good to know. So you have. Oh, here's Lulu.

[Henry Sams]

Yes, I have Lulu right here in my set.

[Gillian Jacobs]

So there she is, Lemon.

[Henry Sams]

Now, Lulu is a kitten, but I have cast a spell to keep her in the kitten, like, state forever.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was Gillion, by the way. The cat has been making noises, but then Gillion just went rah into the mic.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Never make a cat noise beneath him.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah, Scott's too cool. Gillian. Not at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not at all.

[Gillian Jacobs]

That's my brand. Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

This is Lulu. She's a perpetual kitten. She's frozen in this age by unnatural means.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I don't know what any of that means. I'm like, fear, stress, 1666, yo, I have no idea.

[Henry Sams]

You don't know what it means?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I heard the words before, but I don't know what they mean.

[Henry Sams]

I've frozen this kitten in her current age for the last 20 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Henry Sams]

She is in the state of being six months old for the last 20 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you haven't literally frozen her in your life in your icebox?

[Henry Sams]

No, I didn't like. No, I didn't like Steve Rogers, her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Henry Sams]

Two competing Ted Williams.

[Scott Aukerman]

Disney properties, though, so we're on the

[Henry Sams]

same wavelength, same continuity of freezing fictional characters. No, no, no. I have used the dark arts to keep her at the same age.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Boy, I would love to do that. What age would you be if you could stay at any age? Oh, God. Under 30, please.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Under 30?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I don't know, because sometimes, like, sometimes you look back at old pictures of yourself and you're like, oh, I look way too young. Boy, I was just a baby or whatever. But, like, if no one ever knows you get older, then people love it. Love you at that age. I don't know what I'm trying to say.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I feel like you have an answer to this question. Which age would you like to have been frozen at?

[Scott Aukerman]

When was I the best? I had 27.

[Gillian Jacobs]

27?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That's when I was at my peak. That's an two years ago.

[Henry Sams]

That's an athlete's career.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Two years ago, I knew you at your peak. I can say proudly,

[Henry Sams]

julian, what year would you pick?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Four. Four.

[Henry Sams]

Interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would stay four years.

[Henry Sams]

That is a very interesting choice.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have the ability to speak. You can probably read. I was reading a 3. I don't know when you were reading.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I was in Montessori school, which I really enjoyed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your brain still continues. So you would be able to do anything. You'd be having adult conversations. Your body would stay at 4, but you would be that creepy kid who talks, you know, like an adult.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I was that kid.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're telling me you're still that kid?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Hello.

[Henry Sams]

Now, using this kitten.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have we gotten too off track?

[Henry Sams]

It's never happened to me before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Gillian Jacobs]

He's always on the map.

[Henry Sams]

I never get off track. I will now map the evil in both of your souls.

[Scott Aukerman]

Both of them.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm so excited about this.

[Henry Sams]

So this could reveal sides of yourself that you might not be ready to learn.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm an open book. Anything in my life is. I'm perfectly fine with Gillian and the listeners seeing, so.

[Henry Sams]

Okay, well, I admire that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know if you feel that way, Gillian, but I do as well.

[Henry Sams]

This will not reveal, like, secrets or like gossip. This will just be your.

[Scott Aukerman]

No gossip.

[Henry Sams]

I'm afraid not.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm afraid no dish.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Xoxo.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it should be her.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Fucking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give it to Kristen Bell again. She did it already.

[Gillian Jacobs]

That's her gig. That's her gig.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give it to Gilly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Give it to Gilly. Great hack.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to start the Give it to Gilly campaign.

[Gillian Jacobs]

All right, well, we gotta focus, narrow. Which one do you want me to have?

[Scott Aukerman]

I want you to have Sue Storm, definitely.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need a series from Fear Street.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give it to Gilly. We need a love reboot.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone replacing Paul.

[Gillian Jacobs]

A Scott Aukerman perhaps.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe a Scott Aukerman type.

[Bill Walton]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But who better, really, when you think about it? Give it to Gilly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I like this gift. Okay. Hashtag, give it to Gilly.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, go ahead, Henry.

[Henry Sams]

Here we go. I'm now going to Lulu. Come here, please. And I'm going to lay out this parchment here. Sorry, I have some parchment.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

And now I'll just pour some primer. Sorry to get some primer on your table. Now, you are familiar with the seven deadly sins. What we will do now is gluttony.

[Scott Aukerman]

The rest.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Sloth.

[Henry Sams]

Gluttony and the rest. The gluttony is the main one. And we'll just see what. Which. What, like, mixture of the seven deadly sins. Are each of you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay? What mixture? Oh, okay, so it's like 46% this.

[Henry Sams]

It's kind of like a 23 me, but just like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, great. Yeah. I love this.

[Henry Sams]

You know, like, what are you made up of?

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you evil?

[Henry Sams]

Your inner evil?

[Scott Aukerman]

What do we got?

[Henry Sams]

All right, Lulu, we'll do first.

[Announcer]

We'll do.

[Henry Sams]

We'll do Scott first.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Holy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, why? What are you seeing?

[Henry Sams]

This is bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's going on? I'm assuming it's all gluttony, right?

[Henry Sams]

No, I shouldn't. I don't know if I should do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go ahead. It can't be that bad.

[Henry Sams]

It's not one of the standard seven deadly.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not one of the seven. It's an eighth.

[Henry Sams]

It's itchiness. This is, like, what your main sin is. Itchiness.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a sin?

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

It's a sin to be itchy. In my family, it was. I mean, yeah, like 100% itchy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. No, that didn't. That tracks. I didn't realize that's gross to you.

[Henry Sams]

I find that distasteful.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what if I'm always itchy? I'm not scratching myself.

[Henry Sams]

Dissatisfied. You're fundamentally not happy with your physical state. It's gross. You're rejecting God's greatest gift to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't realize judgment came as a part of this.

[Henry Sams]

Here you go. Your map of your state. Out of my hand.

[Scott Aukerman]

This, by the way, this. You've. You've drawn this on a piece of. I can only call this parchment. Where did you get parchment? I mean, we just have, like, paper, like. Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

Make it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You make it.

[Henry Sams]

I make the paper in my basement. It's a long process. You got out of trees. Take the G. I knock the trees down. I pulp it up.

[Scott Aukerman]

You knock them down?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Just trees.

[Henry Sams]

I'm selling the crap out of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

One piece of parchment, knock them over,

[Henry Sams]

and I go, trees, tree, finito.

[Scott Aukerman]

To no one, of course.

[Henry Sams]

To nobody. All by myself. And does anybody hear it?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Just me, Lulu.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's a good point. So, by the way, you've just drawn a circle, and in it you've just written itchiness.

[Henry Sams]

Well, that's what it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

Lulu and I have found that to be true. In your soul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

100% itchy. Hope you live with yourself. You're a disgusting person. All right, Gillian. Wow.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes.

[Henry Sams]

It's your turn.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

New parchment, new primer.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love the. The songs you sing.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're cool.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're like. They could be on the pop charts.

[Henry Sams]

You think so?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think they're really cool. You think?

[Henry Sams]

Could be in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, the way you do it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I mean, you know, cartography.

[Henry Sams]

I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love. I love singing.

[Henry Sams]

I mean, I've never.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you like rap as well?

[Henry Sams]

Yeah, of course. You know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'd love to hear something here. What if I were to go, like, hit us with us.

[Henry Sams]

Gonna drop a rhyme, like, on that I say Seems up by nature and not dangerous at all Here goes the routes that'll betray your soul See if your evil is dark as coal Betray your eyes, reveal the lies he rhymed again and show your nature true as the devil.

[Scott Aukerman]

He didn't rhyme.

[Henry Sams]

There's an artistic choice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting. Interesting.

[Henry Sams]

It's an artistic choice.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's good, though, man.

[Henry Sams]

You think so?

[Bill Walton]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, aside from. I mean, I would have rhymed, maybe done like, A.

[Henry Sams]

You would have done a rhyme?

[Scott Aukerman]

I would have done A. A B, B. A structure, probably. But.

[Henry Sams]

Like the bard. Yeah, like the melancholy bard.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's my type, by the way. A, A, B, B.

[Henry Sams]

Wait, that's.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Never mind.

[Henry Sams]

I don't even know how that's gross, but I feel like it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Add a little sliver.

[Henry Sams]

Okay, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of lasciviousness.

[Henry Sams]

Little lust on the corner of the itchiness.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Henry Sams]

All right, Gillian, your sin breakdown here it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now it's time for a breakdown.

[Henry Sams]

Never heard of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, holy.

[Gillian Jacobs]

What?

[Henry Sams]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is bad.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Just tell me.

[Henry Sams]

So much worse than itchiness.

[Scott Aukerman]

Worse than itchiness. Is it one of those. It's not one of the eight.

[Henry Sams]

Hang on. Do I tell her? I don't even know this person.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gotta tell her. She said it was.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Maybe I don't need to know.

[Henry Sams]

Scott, we need to know.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, tell me. Tell me.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It's too bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell me and I'll see if it's cool.

[Henry Sams]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

She floats.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I heard that.

[Henry Sams]

Her sin is floating.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I do not.

[Scott Aukerman]

She floats. She floats.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I float.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like in a pool. Like if. If I were to throw her in a pool or if she were to go in.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, you mean like a witch above the ground?

[Henry Sams]

Like, not.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like Marty McFly in Back to the Future too.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Like Sue Storm.

[Henry Sams]

Yes.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Does she float?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, she could make invisible bridge, you know, that she walks.

[Henry Sams]

She'd lift herself up with an invisible force shield.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay. Like Gossip Girl.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, Gossip Girl has invisible force shield. That's another. Give it to Gilly.

[Henry Sams]

I love the reboot of Gossip Girl with invisible force shields. Omfg.

[Scott Aukerman]

Xoxo.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Xoxo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Invisible force shield.

[Henry Sams]

Yes. You're a floater. Oh, like disrespecting gravity in the ground.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, I'm looking down at her feet. They're totally off the ground. I mean, she is sitting, but still.

[Henry Sams]

Still. Look at those feet just dangling. You are rejecting God's second greatest gift, which is gravity.

[Gillian Jacobs]

What's his first?

[Henry Sams]

But the body, the human body. The human body is gravity. Now, love is like eight. Really?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

Love screws you up. Love distorts love makes you mad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did someone hurt you?

[Henry Sams]

What? Never.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, Henry.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Henry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Henry. I'm sorry.

[Henry Sams]

I'm sorry. I got rejected.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're having a break through here.

[Henry Sams]

Got rejected by Who?

[R.L. Stine]

Love.

[Henry Sams]

My true love. Rejected.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Let's get into this. Anna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anna. Palindromic name.

[Henry Sams]

I know it's what?

[Scott Aukerman]

No matter how you spell it, Any scale. No, that's two N's.

[Gillian Jacobs]

N, A. Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

Or a N, A. They're all.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I guess if you were do a N, N, A H, that wouldn't be. But which way were you thinking?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Well, I have a friend. I can't talk about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't talk about a friend?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Nope. I made a vowel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it a N?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Y, A. Oh, the Anya.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a different name.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I think Anya.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Anna. Anna. Any way you spell it is palindromic.

[Gillian Jacobs]

All right.

[Henry Sams]

Why can't you talk about your friend?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Let's not talk about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Henry Sams]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

We will not bring it up again.

[Henry Sams]

Yes, I was rejected by my true love earlier this week.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, just this week?

[Henry Sams]

Yes, just this week.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, my God. Let's go to a break and when we come back, let's get into what happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess we're going to a break. Okay. It's a trouble.

[Henry Sams]

That's the trouble of two hosts.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wasn't going to to take one, but I guess we have to.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

When we come back, we'll be talking more with Henry Sams, the cartographer. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang.

[Gillian Jacobs]

And oh, periodic talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll be right back. One thing about summer. Okay, two things. One is it's hotter than winter. I know that doesn't need to be said. But just in case you're an alien who just landed here on Earth, I want to make sure that, that you know what is going on, why it's so hot. But then another thing is everything just feels kind of easier, right? It's the season for comfortable go anywhere pieces that make getting dressed simple. And that's what makes quints such a great fit for the season. They focus on well made essentials that you'll actually live in all summer long. Quince's 100% European linen pants and shirts are breathable, easy to throw on, and the summer upgrade that your rotation needs. And their tees. Oh, talk about their tees. These tees are soft enough to live in all day and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you want when summer nights cool down. Now, we recently in my household, we got a bunch of quints products for our daughter. Every single time, my daughter likes to pick what she wears and she pulls something out and I go, oh, that's really cool. And I look at the tag. It's always quints. These are really really good looking clothes so make your summer wardrobe easier on you. Go to quint.com bangbang for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now. By the way, available in Canada too. That's Quince.com, q U I N C E.com Bang Bang for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Bang Bang Awkward Time to ask this, but. Hey, did you download the trail map? Yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

No, I don't need to.

[Henry Sams]

I don't understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're trusting your signal out here.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm trusting Timo Mobile. They have the best network and if we end up in bumtots nowhere, well, we've got T Satellite for backup. Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't trust my carrier that much.

[Gillian Jacobs]

We'll just use your phone as a flashlight.

[Bill Walton]

With America's Best network and T Satellite, we're keeping you connected in places you never thought possible. And if you switch today, you get free phones for zero down and only 25 bucks a month per line for four lines. Find out more@t mobile.com or visit your local store.

[Announcer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Visit t mobile.com can you picture this? Okay, picture it. You just had a long day and the hunger hits you. There's something healthy in your fridge that you should make right? But yeah, you just don't have it in you to get all the ingredients. Oh God, I just want something fast. You know, if this sounds far too familiar to you, you need to check out Factor. With factor, you get fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs, delivered right to your door so you can hit your nutrition goals this season without the planning, the grocery runs or the cooking. And with over 100 rotating weekly meals including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian, there is always something new to look forward to. Now I got some factor recently and trust me, it is when they say, oh, it doesn't take a long time.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Time.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what Factor's all about you just pop it in, it gets cooked really quickly and then you can focus on the other stuff you need to be focusing on, including listening to all of my shows. That's what we're really trying to do, is free up time for you. For that, head over to FactorMeals.com Bang Bang 50 off and use the code Bang Bang 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2020. Hey, here's a tip. See website for more details. Comedy Bang Bang and periodic talks. We are back and before the break. Boy, this was an exciting tease. We threw to the fact that Henry Sams is going to tell us what happened with his true love, Anna.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes, Anna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anna.

[Henry Sams]

Anna's how I say it. But yeah, sometimes people say Anna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it a palindrome as well?

[Henry Sams]

Yes, it's a baby.

[Bill Walton]

Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like Justin Bieber. The Bieb.

[Henry Sams]

Like the abbreviation for Beeb. Like the Beeb.

[Scott Aukerman]

And a Beeb.

[Gillian Jacobs]

And a Beeb. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ab. Just a lot like my type.

[Henry Sams]

I didn't want to bring it up because I don't want to turn you on.

[Scott Aukerman]

You didn't mean to turn me on?

[Henry Sams]

I didn't mean to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you, Robert Palmer. Okay, so let's get into it because

[Henry Sams]

I'm not enough of a provider. She wanted to have a family and

[Scott Aukerman]

so a semen provider, I guess. Yes.

[Henry Sams]

That wasn't really the complaint.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, me.

[Announcer]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meaning she wants financial provider pay for the family's needs.

[Henry Sams]

I guess you're right. The way I said that did seem like I was setting up to be a semen provider. But that was not a conversation we had.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. You were taken care of in that department.

[Henry Sams]

Let's just say I assumed there'd be no problem.

[Gillian Jacobs]

It was enough she ever wanted.

[Henry Sams]

You know what? Maybe we would have had trouble that way. Maybe, you know, fleeting. Yeah, the. Yeah. I'm the sailor, she's the boat. I don't know the metaphor, but it was about money, unfortunately.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm the dj, she's the rapper. I don't know.

[Henry Sams]

I'd say in our relationship.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the rapper. Of course she would be the dj.

[Henry Sams]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

But she was an AB instead of a dj.

[Henry Sams]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. So what? How did it break up? Did she just say.

[Henry Sams]

She said, I can't do this anymore. I can't wait for you to become more solvent. I can't wait for this business to take off. I. I need to move on with my life. I'm wasting Time.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you really memorize this.

[Henry Sams]

That's it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Like that is seared onto your burned it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't forget emotion is tied to memory. We remember the things that have smell.

[Gillian Jacobs]

What. What were you smelling when she said this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

Fart person.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you were just constantly farting while she was.

[Gillian Jacobs]

But that probably didn't help. No, but that was.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was not an issue. Loved it.

[Henry Sams]

No, it was par Simmons. I did fart later, but I was smelling Par Simmons at the moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet the moment she walked out it was just like a.

[Bill Walton]

Just let it out.

[Henry Sams]

I was waiting the whole time.

[Gillian Jacobs]

And what type of fart was it?

[Henry Sams]

A little dry whistly one.

[R.L. Stine]

Really?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Can you recreate it for us?

[Henry Sams]

I think so. Let me see. It's like.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's a lot like a slide whistle. Wow. Okay.

[Henry Sams]

My farts are hilarious.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm so sorry.

[Henry Sams]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean I.

[Henry Sams]

That's so cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not sorry. Your farts are hilarious. That's great.

[Henry Sams]

But that part I love.

[Scott Aukerman]

That part's great.

[Henry Sams]

I lost Ann Anna.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I thought you said her name.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah, you say Anna.

[Scott Aukerman]

But why did you just say Anna?

[Henry Sams]

She says Anna. I said Anna.

[Scott Aukerman]

That must be another point of contention between the two of you.

[Henry Sams]

Relentlessly she's like, why won't you say my name the way I say it? I go, shut up. It's Anna.

[Gillian Jacobs]

As a Gillian in this world, I have no idea what that feels like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

And I was like, I think I know better what your name is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Are you bad at reading faces and reading emotions? You have like such a blend.

[Henry Sams]

I'm so fact based. I miss a lot of social cues.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's true. You don't put any emotion into your work. How could you see emotions from others?

[Henry Sams]

I mean, thank you for being sympathetic.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not very fact that you're talking like this to the woman that you love. Either Anna or Anna.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Wait, stop.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do we got?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Stop speaking. Scott. I have an idea. What if we used your powers in witchcraft to conjure a love spell to bring Anna Anna back to you?

[Henry Sams]

I just. You know, it's a line you're not supposed to cross. You're not supposed to manipulate one's heart. Even with the dark arts. You know, truth telling. Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

But the hell with it. Let's do it.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah. Fuck it. All right.

[Gillian Jacobs]

So.

[Henry Sams]

All right. Let's see if I can get on it back. Hang on a second.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Lulu.

[Henry Sams]

Come here. Come here, girl.

[Gillian Jacobs]

He said her name correctly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does there need to be good WI fi or anything like that or.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah, we need good WI fi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, because we got it.

[Henry Sams]

We're connecting to her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, got it. All right, we're on five. We're on a 5G here.

[Henry Sams]

Ooh, nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Which is not my type, by the way.

[Henry Sams]

Your type of WI fi is also aaba.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Henry Sams]

All right, new parchment. Here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you farting right now? Is there a bunch of farts?

[Henry Sams]

Here's a new primer. All right.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Lulu.

[Announcer]

All right.

[Henry Sams]

A love spell. All right, I'm gonna need. I'm sorry to say this. I need drops of your blood.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, I have some right here. Yeah, we. We exchanged some right before the show. That's. Did I take any of your blood? No, I usually take all of our guest blood.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, here, have some right now. I'm so sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no, here, have some of ours. Here's some blood for you. Whoops. I didn't mean to spill it all over you.

[Announcer]

That's okay.

[Henry Sams]

That's all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Loose blood is okay with.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't mind.

[Henry Sams]

You know, map making is a bloody biz. You're felling trees, you're cutting your finger on the edges of pa. All right, the blood into the primer. Anna. Sorry. Anna, come back to me.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Wow.

[Bill Walton]

I'll.

[Henry Sams]

I don't have the money you deserve, but I have the love you need.

[Gillian Jacobs]

That's good.

[Announcer]

The.

[Henry Sams]

I'll be devoted to you in every way that I can.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this a spell or just what he's saying to her?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Just sounds a little sad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

I mean, I'll fucking rip myself to shit. Please come back to me. I'm a piece of shit without you.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's pathetic.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Women don't like.

[Henry Sams]

I am needy. Needy.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Some people are into. Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

I don't know.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay, lean into it. Did she like you when you were Needy?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. How long were you together? One day.

[Henry Sams]

Couple weeks.

[Bill Walton]

Couple weeks?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah, she. Yeah, she didn't like anything about you.

[Henry Sams]

All right, let's just wrap it up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what they say in spells?

[Henry Sams]

Please come back. All right, come back if you want. Here's the spell.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

That was just the message.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm transform. Yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay.

[Henry Sams]

And now here's the spell that will deliver the message and also bend her heart to mine. Ooh. Fulante Fu long.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Rambunctious Fear Street, 1666.

[Bill Walton]

What?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Fear Street, 1666.

[Henry Sams]

That's part of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's adding a little spice to your spell.

[Henry Sams]

Flante Rambunctious Fear Street, 1666.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, this is gonna work.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is definitely gonna work. Hashtag tag, Get Gilly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Get Gilly. The.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was it? I don't wanna give it to Gilly.

[Henry Sams]

Give it to Gilly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give it to Gilly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Give it to Gilly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give it to Gilly. Give it to Gilly.

[Henry Sams]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's the. Didn't I say turn your phone off, Gilly?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I did.

[Henry Sams]

No, it's my phone. It's my phone. I'm so sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Well, pick it up. Maybe it's her.

[Henry Sams]

Okay, you can edit this out. Hello?

[Bill Walton]

Henry? Is this Henry? Henry, Is it her? This is R.L. stine, writer of Fear street and Goosebumps.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, this is R.L.

[Henry Sams]

stein. This is amazing.

[Bill Walton]

I felt compelled to call you all of a sudden.

[Henry Sams]

I'm a huge fan.

[Bill Walton]

And that number was just in my telephone.

[Scott Aukerman]

R.L. stine, this is Scott Aukerman, host of Comedy Bang Bang. I don't know if you've ever listened, but I'm a big fan of your work.

[Gillian Jacobs]

This is Gillian Jacobs RFP series.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give it to Gilly. Hashtag, give it to Gilly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Give it up to Gilly. Gilly.

[Bill Walton]

Of course, both of you are people who I am passionate about. But right now, my passions are for only one.

[Gillian Jacobs]

We understand, we understand. Refocus, of course, Scott.

[Bill Walton]

We're all praying in the Stein house that you get that. Ooh, sometime soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Bill Walton]

And I have been saying, give it to Gilly for years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Have you been talking about parts or Hollywood parts or have you. By the way, the give it to Gilly hashtag? It's a little dicey.

[Bill Walton]

I am regularly chicken out of meetings for saying that. It's why I'm not more prolific in the industry. But my love right now is for the man on the phone.

[Henry Sams]

Yes, Henry, me.

[Bill Walton]

Henry, Yes. I don't know what happened, but I can't stop thinking about you just now.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, my goodness.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, shit. This backfired. Gilly.

[Henry Sams]

Mr. Stein.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's wonderful, Henry.

[Bill Walton]

Please, if you could draw me a map to your heart or your location.

[Henry Sams]

Mr. Stein, I'm so sorry to tell you this. This was a love spell that was not meant for you. I think the addition of Fear Street, 1666. Yeah, really kind of just gummied up the works.

[Gillian Jacobs]

That's on me.

[Henry Sams]

I'm sorry, Mr. Stein, I'm a huge, huge fan. I love your writings, of course, but I don't have a romantic feeling for you. I'm so sorry. I.

[Bill Walton]

These sound like some sort of high concept out of one of my novels. Yes, I'm living it. In life right now, yes.

[Henry Sams]

I'm afraid the love spell that fell on you was not meant for you. I'm so sorry.

[Bill Walton]

So my love is unrequited?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The heart wants what it wants. I mean, even though now you know you're the victim of a love spell, but that doesn't change your feelings, does it?

[Bill Walton]

I still. Aren't we all victims of love spells?

[Gillian Jacobs]

This is a real Midsummer Night's Dream. Conundrum.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oberon, Titani. Of course, everyone spirits have offended.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Think but this and all is mended, that you have but slumbered, summered here

[Scott Aukerman]

while these visions did appear.

[Gillian Jacobs]

And this week, an idle theme, no more yielding than a dream.

[Henry Sams]

What happened?

[Bill Walton]

What? What?

[Henry Sams]

What did that do? Oh, you're just. You're just stimulated by verse.

[Bill Walton]

It was incredible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gillian, you're going to get a. At some point.

[Henry Sams]

It's all Tony.

[Bill Walton]

Which is my pitch for the new Sopranos remake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it worked. One was great. Why not four of them?

[Bill Walton]

Why not get rid of Soprano?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a multiplicity meets Cabela.

[Henry Sams]

Cabella.

[Bill Walton]

Yes, Each Tony gets a bit dumber in my rewrite, and that's spookier than anything I can think of. Well, then almost the spookiest. The spookiest thing I could think of is falling for a map maker and not getting that love back because it was all a prank played.

[Henry Sams]

I'm sorry, Mr. Steiner. I'd be happy to make you a map, but I. I would be lying if I said I could give you my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's just reverse the love spell. I mean, you can do that, right?

[Henry Sams]

Well, you're saying, like, point it back at myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what that means.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, to undo it.

[Scott Aukerman]

To undo it.

[Henry Sams]

Maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mr. Oh, you. You thought I was saying reverse it.

[Henry Sams]

Make me fall in love with him.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, good idea, Scott. A. Please, please, please.

[Henry Sams]

All right, I'll do it backwards. 1666 Street Fear. Rambunctious.

[Scott Aukerman]

6000, 661.

[Henry Sams]

Let's not get technical, all right? You've already overstayed this.

[Bill Walton]

Probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, probably. All right, go ahead.

[Henry Sams]

Poluntu. Falantu.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah.

[Henry Sams]

I am in love with you.

[Bill Walton]

And I have gotten very old. No. What happened?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. What happened? You didn't reverse the numbers on 1666.

[Bill Walton]

Oh. R.L. stine. Maybe gone too soon after this.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, don't.

[Henry Sams]

I'm in love with you now.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're my true love.

[Bill Walton]

And yet, like another Shakespearean play, your discovery of true love hath happened just before my death.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Henry Sams]

Henry iv, Part one.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't Know Juliet.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, right, right, right, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

The star crossed lovers.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes.

[Bill Walton]

No, I was talking about Falstaff's love for Bardolph and Henry iv, Part one. Sadly, Bardolph took in two su and it Henry iv, Part two.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we know what you're talking about. Of course.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Of course we do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Juilliard students of the Bard.

[Henry Sams]

Well, I, I. At least we had this moment, I guess. R.L. we had this moment.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, wow. Oh, no. R.L.

[Scott Aukerman]

stein is dead. Put the phone down.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Call.

[Scott Aukerman]

Call 911.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm calling.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your. What's your address?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Where are you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, do you live on Fear Street?

[Bill Walton]

Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never heard of it.

[Bill Walton]

1666 Fear Street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, get that. Get it. Paramedics over there. I don't know what that is. What's happening?

[Bill Walton]

I am dying.

[Gillian Jacobs]

No.

[Bill Walton]

Killed me. Why? Your spell. Along with the help of Scott, Au man and Gillian.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is like a Shakespearean death scene.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Horror.

[Henry Sams]

This sucks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it sucks. It really sucks. We killed R.L. stine. Wow. No, not his last words. That can't be his last words.

[Bill Walton]

Last words.

[Scott Aukerman]

We can't be. He can't say that sucks. We can't tell people those were his last. Oh, no. It's on this podcast.

[Henry Sams]

It's on two podcasts.

[Scott Aukerman]

The line's dead. He's gone.

[Gillian Jacobs]

This is no longer an episode of Periodic Talks.

[Henry Sams]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're out. You're bouncing. Just because it is happening.

[Gillian Jacobs]

No, I'm still here. But now I'm just here as Gillian.

[Bill Walton]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boy, that was terrible.

[Henry Sams]

I'm really sorry. Well, if anybody wants any maps, get in touch with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Henry sains we have to get to our next guest. He is a fellow broadcaster.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, exciting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe he has a podcast that he'll be.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Who doesn't these days, right, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell me about it, boy. But please welcome back to the show. Oh, wow. He's also an NBA superstar. Please welcome back to the show, Bill Walton.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Bill Walton]

What a pleasure to be here with Scott Aukerman, one of the great podcasters of all time. And Gillian Jacobs, one of the great Gillians. From Gillian Anderson to Gilligan's island, one of the great ultimate Gillians I've ever seen.

[Gillian Jacobs]

She's Gillian Anderson, but I'll let you have it.

[Bill Walton]

But across the pond, we say Gillian, I'm told.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Nah, just basically.

[Bill Walton]

Who told me that? It came to me in a dream.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Gillian Welch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gillian Welch. And do you accept Gilligan? He was mainly little buddy. That's what they would call him.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't mean to interrupt your flow, turn to Henry Sains and of course,

[Bill Walton]

Henry Sams, one of the great cartographers of our time.

[Henry Sams]

Thank you so much.

[Bill Walton]

From the air mentioned Magellan.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've got it.

[Bill Walton]

I've got it.

[Henry Sams]

I've got it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Thomas Guy Google.

[Bill Walton]

Google Maps.

[Henry Sams]

Yeah, they're one of the great map makers.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes.

[Bill Walton]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bill. I've noticed the last few times you've been on the show, you need a lot of help in coming up with the second thing.

[Bill Walton]

Well, no, I find it's other people's discomfort with my inability to think of a second thing. Sometimes it just takes me minutes to think of one and it may be not. You can edit it out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of time. You're in C block here.

[Bill Walton]

Aren't we all running out of time, though?

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott Arc, Good point. Is that what you're here to talk about?

[Bill Walton]

Yes. No, I think that actually came up on one of my other episodes, the inevitability of death and time travel as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you ever see Back to the Future two?

[Bill Walton]

I love Back to the Future.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about three?

[Bill Walton]

Three maybe even be better than the second. Finally, Emmett Brown, our favorite character of the films, finds love in the third

[Scott Aukerman]

final, one of the great loves, One

[Bill Walton]

of the great loves in cinema history for Christopher Lloyd from Danny DeVito's character and what Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest to Air Bud in one of the straight to DVD Air Bud films.

[Scott Aukerman]

Air Buddies.

[Bill Walton]

Yes. Oh, the sweet little buddies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the sweet buddies. Bill, so great to have you on the show. I mean, you obviously have a lot of time now. The NBA finals just were done. The Olympics, I think, are over at this point. So you have a lot of time on and you can be on the show now.

[Bill Walton]

That's exactly it. I've got free time and I'm here because it's summertime. It's my favorite time of year beyond basketball season.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And Gillian, do you know who Bill Walton is, by the way?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'm so sorry to say I don't.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, that's okay. Most of the people who know of me are basketball fans or even if a performer was in some sort of TV show about the era of basketball I came from, they maybe would have heard of me. The late 70s and early 80s. But if you are not any of those things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Gillian was too busy memorizing that Puck monologue from I have more. Yeah, I bet you.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, I would love to hear it. Puck, one of my favorite fairies of Shakespearean times What are your other favorite

[Scott Aukerman]

fairies of Shakespearean times?

[Bill Walton]

Of course there's. Well, do we consider the guy from the island in that? The helper.

[Gillian Jacobs]

The Tempest.

[Bill Walton]

Yes, the helper guy from the Tempest.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Ariel, I think.

[Bill Walton]

Yes.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then you have Oberon, king of the fairies. Of course.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, I didn't know we could use other fairies from A Midsummer or. Sorry.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Mustard seed. Peaseblossom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Peaseblossom, of course, yes.

[Bill Walton]

The whole merry players.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have an interest in Shakespeare? The Immortal Bard. The Immortal Bard.

[Bill Walton]

The person or the writing?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll take either at this point.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, all of the above, please. Make me more curious about the person. What was he like?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you should see the film Shakespeare in Love. Which one? One of those oohs.

[Bill Walton]

One of the great loves of all time, Shakespeare. And Gwyneth Paltrow. An amazing tale. Did that earn four Oscars?

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe so. At least. Best Picture. I know that.

[Gillian Jacobs]

And Best Actress.

[Scott Aukerman]

Actress, really? Who?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Gwyneth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Good for her.

[Bill Walton]

That's. Oh, those are the shoes in her goop.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was about to get Scott Ackerman

[Bill Walton]

throw it down one time. Yes, sir. Great minds think alike. Or great minds think for themselves, as they used to say on Saturday morning. Early television cartoons.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. Bill Walton is here. Henry, do you know who Bill Walton is?

[Bill Walton]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a broadcaster. He calls NBA games.

[Bill Walton]

One of the great. Mostly college basketball. They won't give me NBA that often because of rambunctious personality.

[Scott Aukerman]

And your tie. Dye shirts.

[Bill Walton]

Yes, I'm a little too freaky for the.

[Henry Sams]

But I do know you play for the Celtics, right? You were a ballplayer yourself, is that right?

[Bill Walton]

Will Hines with the alley oop. To Bill Wall.

[Henry Sams]

I'm Henry Sains. But that's quite all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Clutch.

[Bill Walton]

That was clutch.

[Henry Sams]

Easy mistake to make.

[Bill Walton]

Easy mistake to make. Henry, have you ever been told you you look much like writer and improviser and actor Will Hines, of course. Writer of the great book how to

[Henry Sams]

be a Grandson called Todd Berry and Will Hines in equal measure, depending on how far people are.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Will Shakespeare.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bill Walton]

Mortal bard, in whom I am so interested.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of the great wills from William Shakespeare to my grandmother's Scott Au left me a lot of money.

[Bill Walton]

Your grandmother's wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's why I've been failing upwards.

[Bill Walton]

The world, Will that created a podcast empire. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Bill Walton]

And of course a very lovely brooch that you wear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Every day. Just remember.

[Bill Walton]

Well, Scott, it's summertime and the living is easy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're transitioning to summertime. Summer, Summer. Summertime.

[Bill Walton]

Yes.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Summer.

[Henry Sams]

Summer.

[Bill Walton]

Summer time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Thank you.

[Bill Walton]

Summertime.

[Scott Aukerman]

Summertime. Not supper time. That's a different song.

[Bill Walton]

Supper time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Supper time. Sup? Sup? Supper. Oh, that's from your good friend Charlie Brown.

[Bill Walton]

Supper. Supper. Supper time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. You have a wife. Breadth of knowledge.

[Bill Walton]

Yes. Scott Aukerman. I did a little bit of community theater.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you really?

[Bill Walton]

Yes. Were you in that something, Schroeder?

[Scott Aukerman]

I like the way you play the piano. It's nice.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Is there something about, like, peanut butter on the roof of your mouth and sticks if you're really lonely?

[Scott Aukerman]

Peanut butter on something. Definitely with that dog. Yeah.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, Lord.

[Scott Aukerman]

Add another sliver.

[Henry Sams]

The lesson part is growing. Wow.

[Bill Walton]

Scott Aukerman. Going after Dark with the references to putting peanut butter on your johnson for Snoopy to lick off for your own pleasure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is his comedy Bang Bang After Dark? Well, yeah, I did want to mention that I've segued longer.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Periodic talks.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, one of the great, great podcast name changes of all time from if Then to periodic talks. I listened to if Then thinking it was a podcast about what you learn around 301 in improv schools. The exploration that you do after you've guess ended.

[Scott Aukerman]

Speaking of improv teachers, this Will Hines looking over here.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, Henry, have you ever taught an improv class like Will Hines?

[Henry Sams]

I have never have.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's more of a rapper.

[Bill Walton]

Ah. You should take his classes. The Will Hines improv school.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you should take his glasses as well.

[Bill Walton]

Take my glasses? Please

[Henry Sams]

take your glasses. I should take Will Hines glasses and then take your glasses?

[Bill Walton]

What's the question, Will?

[Scott Aukerman]

Henry, we're getting very confused here. Just because he looks so much like Will Hines. Not Will Hines.

[Henry Sams]

Deep reference to Improv 301, Bill Walton.

[Bill Walton]

People expect Bill Walton's deep knowledge of improv on this show.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I think that would be a real advantage to you as a broadcaster if you'd studied improv.

[Bill Walton]

The great Richard Jefferson from the University of Arizona and Cleveland Cavaliers, who is now a commentator for ESPN and the Brooklyn Nets, took Improv 101 at the upright Citizens Brigade Theater.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he now? Who taught him?

[Bill Walton]

That's a good question. I don't know. Matty B. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

That came out of retirement.

[Bill Walton]

Kanye took a class with Matty B.

[Scott Aukerman]

He certainly did.

[Bill Walton]

No wonder his lyrics are so effervescent. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what's up?

[Bill Walton]

Well, that's

[Scott Aukerman]

summertime. You wanted to talk about that.

[Bill Walton]

I'm trying to figure out what to do with my summer. Is it? I've taken up surfing.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't have much Time we. Less than a month, I think.

[Bill Walton]

Now, this is a curious question. When does summer end? Now that global warming has changed everything,

[Scott Aukerman]

you know, and I'm sorry to bring the room down, but it's okay, I expect. I mean, you are a famous liberal thinker. You wear tie, dye shirts all the time. You. Where did you go to college?

[Bill Walton]

Again, a very good question. The University of California in Los Angeles. Angeles. Go Fighting Bruins. One of the great colleges in Westwood.

[Scott Aukerman]

It certainly is.

[Henry Sams]

It's one of the best Westwood colleges.

[Bill Walton]

From the Brentwood College of murdering Nicole Brown.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, dear.

[Henry Sams]

They shouldn't have funded that.

[Bill Walton]

No, no. That college closed quickly.

[Scott Aukerman]

One class. Only one class.

[Bill Walton]

And one freaky teacher.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three units.

[Bill Walton]

And of course, the Arrow Theater College of Print Film. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course, yes. So you. But why do you want to talk about summer?

[Bill Walton]

Because I have built my life around one thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is that?

[Bill Walton]

Basketball and ice cream. Two things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Basketball and ice cream.

[Bill Walton]

And ice cream. And also the music of the Grateful Dead.

[Henry Sams]

Three things.

[Bill Walton]

Three things. And also my lovely son Luke.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Luke. Great. What does he do again?

[Bill Walton]

He is also a basketball coach. Played for the Los Angeles Lakers and the University of Arizona Wildcats. One of the great colleges.

[Scott Aukerman]

We talked about to him on the show one time.

[Bill Walton]

He appeared once with a very raspy voice on the Natalie Palamides episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course.

[Bill Walton]

I believe he was feeding my dying body in that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, but you're better now. It's summertime. It's the time for ice. I mean, technically, it's a time to enjoy ice cream, but it's also when ice cream melts, isn't it? The irony.

[Bill Walton]

The great tale of life. The things we enjoy will eventually melt, won't they? Henry Hines and Gillian Jacobs.

[Henry Sams]

Henry Hines. That's it. Henry Sams. But I got you. As long as you gesture over.

[Bill Walton]

You shouldn't have made a last name that sounds so much like Hines. It's hard to keep.

[Henry Sams]

That's on me. You're right.

[Bill Walton]

You should know me. Look up who you look like.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Bill Walton]

Make sure your name's different.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, go to you looklike.com will hims will pop it immediately.

[Bill Walton]

But don't go to the mad TV version of it because they'll just tell you you look like a man.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what that is. Unfortunately, that is where I tap out.

[Bill Walton]

John Ockerman. Gillian Jacobs. You must know the famed Alex Borstein character.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, yes.

[Bill Walton]

I tell you everything. You look like a man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. You should be on MADtv, though. A reboot Give it to Gilly. Give it to Gilly. You'd be great on MADtv.

[Henry Sams]

You keeping track of this, Gillian? We're knee deep inside some MADTV repertoires, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

If I could just manage your career. I know. I talked to your manager earlier. She wanted me to talk about this podcast, period.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Doss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'm focused on film and television here.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Don't you know podcasting's where it's at? Scott Auan, this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the easy platform that helps you build a website. You don't need to know how to code. They have easy to use templates. And if you go to squarespace.com, she

[Scott Aukerman]

knows it all by heart.

[Gillian Jacobs]

CBB, you can get a one time 10% discount. That's squarespacecoscom slash.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boy, you really ran out of energy.

[Bill Walton]

Rick's right at the end with an airball. We all saw her going down corner for the slam.

[Scott Aukerman]

We were like, put it down, put it down.

[Bill Walton]

That's someone who doesn't hit the plus 15 button when the ads come on. And then she bricked it right at the end, but it was a break. Wonderful effort. Gillian Jones.

[Scott Aukerman]

I loved watching it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway. Summertime, Summer, Summertime. So, Grateful Dead Ice cream.

[Henry Sams]

Are you here to promote Summertime and just make. Yeah, I don't know what you're just

[Bill Walton]

like, I'm here for the love, baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I'm here because Love unto Netflix.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Well, Anne loves spells.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, if I could have a spell that would make my brain have never seen love on Netflix, so I could watch it for the first time again, I'd be in heaven to experience that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although your brain does tend to forget things after about a year or so, you could probably watch it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah, like Rich Summer being on Love.

[Bill Walton]

Rich Summer is what we're all looking for, isn't it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Summer, Summer, Summertime.

[Bill Walton]

It's Summertime. DJ Jazzy Jeff and Will Smith.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm the dj. You're the rapper. I'm talking to you.

[Henry Sams]

That's right, I'm the rapper. My long lost love, Anna is the dj.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Anna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oops, I forget which one was right, though.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Anna.

[Henry Sams]

Anna's right. But I said Anna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, got it.

[Bill Walton]

What's more important is how you feel about the person, not how you remember their names.

[Henry Sams]

Thank you. Thank you, Bill Walton. You're kind of on my side. I feel like that my emotions for her were pure and should have been appreciated.

[Bill Walton]

Yes. Names don't matter, Mr. Will Hines.

[Henry Sams]

Okay.

[Bill Walton]

But I figured the shit show has artists. It has Scott AU it has people who work so hard and I'm trying to figure out because I'm a type a person, I like to be cooking so I don't sit alone with everybody. Well, you should see. Look downstairs if you want to see. BB Big Booty.

[Scott Aukerman]

Check that out. That is a shelf.

[Bill Walton]

Oh yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You and an improv 101 reference. Big Booty.

[Bill Walton]

Big Booty number Bill Walton.

[Henry Sams]

Wow, we lost everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a retired drink. No one knows what we're talking about.

[Bill Walton]

Well, everybody out there. Big Booty's fun for people of all ages. Get in a circle together right now. I'll explain it quickly and easily. The person who is in the middle is Big Booty.

[Scott Aukerman]

People who listen to podcasts are alone. They don't have friends to gather around in circles.

[Bill Walton]

What a way to meet people.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Bill Walton]

Go up to other podcasts, get a

[Henry Sams]

bunch of strangers, make him get into a circle. Say, play around a big booty.

[Bill Walton]

Let's play a big booty together. I'm Big Booty. You're Big Booty number one. That's number two. And we repeat each other's names while clapping. But if you say it wrong, you go to the end of the line.

[Henry Sams]

You're a big booty.

[Scott Aukerman]

This does not sound fun anyway.

[Bill Walton]

Are you kidding me?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not kidding you. So, summertime. Yes.

[Bill Walton]

You hard working people, how do you turn your brains off in the summer? Are you able to relax?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point, Gillion. I mean, can you.

[Bill Walton]

It sounds like you're working all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're working yourself to the bone.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Ask the question, why relax?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, give it to Gilly.

[Bill Walton]

A response to Frankie in the 80s.

[Henry Sams]

Why? Relax, Frankie.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the thing. Frankie gets to say. All this we never get to say back to him.

[Henry Sams]

How about Frankie, listen for a change?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, open your goddamn ears, Frankie.

[Bill Walton]

Hey, Frankie. Off from Comedy Bang Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Bill Walton]

But I think you gotta relax because you gotta reset, otherwise you'll pop. I have had brak problems. Yes, I have issues with the early 2000 Space Ghost spinoff.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Space Ghost coast to coast, one of my favorites. And he had a spinoff show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Bill Walton]

Brack had his own show and his own album with. I can't even remember who did the album. I hate to miss that, but Pete

[Scott Aukerman]

Smith from Space Ghost, an avid listener of this show. Shout out to him if he's listening out there in Georgia.

[Bill Walton]

Pete Smith threw it down one time. Big Ben, Space Ghost, coast to coast, an early Eric Andrew show. There could Be no Eric Andre without Space ghost. Do we not agree?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I loved Space People.

[Scott Aukerman]

Compared it a little more to Comedy Bang Bang, but go ahead.

[Bill Walton]

Anyway, there could be no Comedy Bang Bang without Eric Andre, which was all why?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. We came out, like, the same month.

[Bill Walton]

Yes, but you saw that, and you were like, quickly, I gotta get.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta pivot.

[Bill Walton]

I saw that. But, Gillian, don't you feel you need to be alone with your thoughts? You need to relax.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't find being alone with my thoughts relaxing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Do you want to be with other people with your thoughts or just with other people with. Without thoughts?

[Gillian Jacobs]

I'd prefer. Okay, let's do half and half.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so half a person, half a thought.

[Bill Walton]

Yeah, I'd love to be with half a thought, if you know what I mean.

[Henry Sams]

Henry. Sage piping in here.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, Henry, what do you have to say?

[Henry Sams]

How about this to relax? How about a morning constitutional? Bill Walton. That's how I met a nice walk by yourself in the morning. That. That's a. That's a good way to relax.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you'd get a little exercise. It would tire you out. You. You're very high strung.

[Bill Walton]

Yeah. Yes. I sit in a little ball, drinking coffee all day until the next podcast appears.

[Henry Sams]

If instead, you sprung out of that ball and went for, like, a brisk walk, a speed walk, even along the break of dawn, exercise, listening to the birds, absorbing the fresh air, that could be good for you, Bill.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Walt, you could write him a map.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Henry Sams]

I could give you a route. I could make you an individualized route with all.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you could star in the movie based on it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Map of My Heart.

[Henry Sams]

Give it to Gilly.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Map of My Heart on Netflix.

[Scott Aukerman]

Netflix or lifetime?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Netflix.

[Scott Aukerman]

Netflix. Okay. You're a Netflix girl. I'm sorry.

[Bill Walton]

Billy and Jacobs as Bill Walton. Gilly is Billy. I mean, the world. The world is ready for it. This is here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give it to Billy. Give it to Billy.

[Henry Sams]

Do a great Bill Walton.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's hear it. Let's hear it.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I can't believe I'm on this walk. It's extraordinary. Look at these birds.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of the best walks from.

[Gillian Jacobs]

One of the best walks from Walton.

[Scott Aukerman]

Never.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

From a Walk of Life by Dire Straits to what's another walk? This is his whole. What are you talking about?

[Gillian Jacobs]

This is his way.

[Henry Sams]

He talks.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, I don't know.

[Henry Sams]

You do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You do it.

[R.L. Stine]

All.

[Bill Walton]

This walk down the river. One of the great walks I've ever been on. From Christopher walking down the street to a walk to remember. Featuring. We're Told Vincent Chase's character from Entourage, but he was cut because he creeped out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. This is pre Queens Boulevard.

[Bill Walton]

Yes, before Queens man. Then before Aquaman when he books Aquaman the guests, who's the actress? Remember, join me down the weeds.

[Scott Aukerman]

I cannot remember the weeds of our garage. I'm sorry.

[Bill Walton]

Mandy Moore.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yes, Mandy Moore.

[Bill Walton]

And then Mandy Moore's cast in Aquaman.

[Henry Sams]

Wow, Vince, what a fractal of references that was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did we watch so much of that show, Bill?

[Bill Walton]

Oh, because at the time, it was wish fulfillment for men like you and me, Scott Akron. That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You had nothing.

[Bill Walton]

Imagine walking down the street with you've got your own little turtle on your entourage. You've got your Johnny Drama and your E, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I have all of those. Paul F. Tompkins is my turtle.

[Bill Walton]

Yes. He's got the same addiction to marijuana and love of baggy clothes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he fought Ronda Rousey once.

[Bill Walton]

That's right. He brutalized Ronda Rousey.

[Scott Aukerman]

He destroyed her. Gillion is so confused by everything that's happening right now.

[Bill Walton]

Gillion, I loved the performance. If you want to package this right now, this movie on my life, I'm in.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Great. Just don't make me improvise the script because I haven't nailed your voice yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Will you nail it by the time you start filming?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Okay, give me something else. Okay. What? A walk to remember from.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the same thing, Christopher.

[Bill Walton]

All right, all right.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Give me something else.

[Bill Walton]

So you want script. You don't want to have to improvise.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Give me another scenario.

[Scott Aukerman]

This movie is going to be great. It'll be one of the best movies from.

[Gillian Jacobs]

One of the best movies from Movie Phone to Move it and Groove It.

[Scott Aukerman]

God, this is.

[Bill Walton]

Don't show people how easy. What I do is when you actually break it down. Have everyone just realized it's deepening your voice and then following your brain down whatever road it takes? Very bored, very quickly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this is good, though. I'm. I'm willing to finance this whole thing. I'll deficit finance it, definitely.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, what does that mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you got your character. Throw it down, throw it down all the way downtown. This is amazing.

[Bill Walton]

You can't also do it, Henry, because people are really going to start to see how easy it is. Please.

[Scott Aukerman]

No problem.

[Henry Sams]

I won't do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is great, man. We are putting together deals. This is like an episode of Entourage right here.

[Bill Walton]

I feel like I'm Vincent Chase sitting in the room with Ari golden, the head of WB who hates Me, but still needs me to work with him.

[Scott Aukerman]

He needs content.

[Bill Walton]

Loosen it a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I get it. I get it. Before you lose it completely, we are running out of time. I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to bring all of this to a close, if that's okay. Is that all right with you, Bill?

[Bill Walton]

Well, it's the metaphor of the ice cream melting again. We're always running out of time.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is true. But before we do that, I do think that we should say that there is one final feature on the show, and that is a little something called plugs.

[Gillian Jacobs]

All right.

[Bill Walton]

Plugs are a great way to get

[Scott Aukerman]

to know you share a plug and make a friend. Now that we're friends, can I borrow some money?

[Bill Walton]

Drive me to the airport and help

[Scott Aukerman]

me build some furniture. Oh, that was friends Help. Oh, what? Was there more?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Keep going.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nah, we're fine. Is there more? How much long? How much more? A little tiny. Let's hear it. All right, let's hear a little bit more.

[R.L. Stine]

Worth it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Worth it. That was Friends Help. Friends by Todd Fronauer. Todd Fronour. Thank you so much for that. And, guys, what are we plugging? Gilly, you have a lot on your plate at this point. We have the Bill Walton. Is that what it's called? The Bill Walton story?

[Bill Walton]

I'm open to whatever the studio wants. I take notes.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Nobody's walking, walking.

[Bill Walton]

Two hours of Gillian as me walking down the street singing.

[Scott Aukerman]

So obviously that's coming up. We have the hashtag give it to Gilly. That's going to be trending.

[Gillian Jacobs]

We're gonna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we'll rethink a bit. I think it may have already give it to Gilly, but we have. We also have Fear Street. All of those years. Watch them in order and with the deer late lamented. R.L. stein wrote these. He is, of course, gone but not forgotten.

[Henry Sams]

Yes, my true love.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, yes, yes.

[Henry Sams]

Henry Saames.

[Scott Aukerman]

My true love. That's right. What else?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Periodic talks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Periodic talks.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Every Tuesday on the Stitcher Network.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Anything else in the works can we talk about? I mean. I mean, that's enough. Honestly, you have so much go. You're more than the average human being.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Thank you, sir. Does.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I mean, you're a very successful person. Do you feel that way? You should.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know it's hard, but, you know, we all feel like God, if only I had what this person had.

[Bill Walton]

Walton.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Bill Walton.

[Bill Walton]

You don't want this baby.

[Gillian Jacobs]

You seem quite content.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, I'm Happy as a clam.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of the great clams.

[Gillian Jacobs]

One of the great clams in history for Clamato.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, yes. Throw it down one time for helping me out of a rut. Gillian Jacobs. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and love. We should talk about love. Watch all three seasons of love. Great show.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Stick around. You'll see Rich Summer.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Previous guests.

[Bill Walton]

Remember the billboards?

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Bill Walton]

Stick around. You'll see which summer.

[Scott Aukerman]

He paid for those, didn't he?

[Bill Walton]

Way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Previous guest on the show, Mike Mitchell, was also in that show.

[Gillian Jacobs]

So the darling deer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And previous guest, Claudia. Claudia. I met the entire cast on this show. Everyone should watch that show. All right, turning to Henry Sams, what do you want to plug here?

[Henry Sams]

I'd like to plug a podcast my friend Will Hines does called Wait, He's

[Scott Aukerman]

a friend of mine.

[Henry Sams]

He's a friend of mine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say that I never.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I should have brought it up.

[Henry Sams]

I look just like him. I don't know. I'm so embarrassed.

[Bill Walton]

I can't believe seeing you two hanging out together would be my damn dream.

[Scott Aukerman]

Andrew, are you just his mirror image? I kind of.

[Henry Sams]

When I look at him, I'm like, we.

[R.L. Stine]

We.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is he doing the exact same thing you're doing? A lot of times we're. I think you're from the mirror world. Oh, I'm from the mirror world. Or he is. I don't know.

[Henry Sams]

I'd rather be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Interesting. So what's his podcast?

[Henry Sams]

His podcast is called Screw it. We're just gonna talk about comics.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, I've been on that show.

[Henry Sams]

You have been a guest.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should get Gilly. She knows the bare minimum about Power Pack.

[Henry Sams]

Yes.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh. Oh, that. Not stand up comics.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no.

[Henry Sams]

Yes. It's comic books. Comic books. Yes. Power Pack's one of my co hosts and my favorites.

[Scott Aukerman]

So we could definitely.

[Henry Sams]

Franklin Richards title tape.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that would. That's a great show. You talk about.

[Henry Sams]

Not me, my mirror self.

[Scott Aukerman]

They talk about comics and specific issues. I was on there a few weeks back talking about a certain episode of Friendly. Not episode, but issue of Friendly Neighborhood Spider man. Written by Tom.

[Henry Sams]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tom Taylor.

[Henry Sams]

We've had some great guests. We had Jordan. Or they had some Jordan White and Tom Prevo.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're just. You're Will Hines, aren't you? So I am. So I am. So what?

[Announcer]

What?

[Gillian Jacobs]

So what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Third act reveal Twist.

[Bill Walton]

What a twist.

[Gillian Jacobs]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

One of my characters got voted off this show last time, and I've been

[Henry Sams]

out of ideas ever since. I got nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's stressful being on this show. It's stressful. Yeah, just cuz we shout all the time. No, I. I don't know.

[Henry Sams]

I got.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not funny anymore, man. I'm tired.

[Bill Walton]

Will, hide. You're hilarious. What are you talking about, Bill?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wal. You have no idea.

[Bill Walton]

Will Hines. I've seen. I was in the front row of every smokes show from 2016 to 2020.

[Henry Sams]

So deep reference, losing everybody.

[Bill Walton]

I would go to CityWalk just to see if the Smokes were there to go eat at Carl Strauss restaurant and Brewery.

[Scott Aukerman]

No longer there. RIP just like R.L. stine.

[Bill Walton]

I am heartbroken about those.

[Henry Sams]

The accurate inside Baseball reference.

[Scott Aukerman]

And my improv team, the Saddle Ranch is gone too. Anyway, we'll talk about this after.

[Bill Walton]

Now people just ride me around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bill, what do you want to plug?

[Bill Walton]

Well, I guess, Scott, I would rather swim in a vat of acid if I had to choose between the two.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we're not doing. Would you rather.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, shucks, I misunderstood.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, that was from the earlier years of the show. We play it every week, obviously.

[Bill Walton]

But I would like to plug. You're the man now, dog. An improv and conversation podcast. And biggrandewebsite.com, a place where you can get. I'm really polluting my peas here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's all right. We're set up to handle that. Go ahead.

[Bill Walton]

Punderful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Punder.

[Bill Walton]

A place where you can get podcasts from the group. Big Grande.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big Grande, Big Grande. Website.com. great group. People should check that.

[Henry Sams]

I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, the only thing I have to. To plug is.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Oh, we're out of time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Let's close up the old plug.

[Announcer]

Wow.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'm two for two in. Coming in early on these songs. That was. And being 2 for 2 in basketball. That's great.

[Bill Walton]

That's one of the most best things.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you want to take more shots than that usually, but I mean, if.

[Gillian Jacobs]

But as a free. Coming off the bench line, Two for two is great.

[Bill Walton]

Elliot Jacobs with some understanding of the rules of basketball. Love

[Scott Aukerman]

that was Open that shit by Bez. Thank you. I wonder if that was Bez from Happy Mondays. Boy, what if he had made that?

[Bill Walton]

I don't know who that is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, you can't know everything, Bill. Although you certainly try and. Guys, wait.

[Gillian Jacobs]

I have one more thing. Should we leave with a little message to Anna Bieb? I. I just feel like we. We kind of messed it up.

[Announcer]

Like.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Henry, is there anything you want to say if she's listening.

[Henry Sams]

I miss you. Come back you're the one for me. It's been a great three. Three weeks. Let's keep it going. Let's make it a solid month.

[Gillian Jacobs]

Sell yourself.

[Henry Sams]

Nobody's more accurate. Nobody. Nobody has a better understanding of scale. Nobody's more devoted to the integrity of facts and representation.

[Gillian Jacobs]

He'll get there. He'll get there. Five more minutes.

[Henry Sams]

God damn it.

[Bill Walton]

Hello? What?

[Henry Sams]

R.L.

[Scott Aukerman]

stein? Are you the ghost of R.L.

[Bill Walton]

stein? I am zombie R.L. stein.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, this is Steve, straight out

[Gillian Jacobs]

of one of his books. No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're saying no. You're saying Stein. When I say no, you say Stein. No, no. Oh, no, I still love you, Stein.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, I come to your house. Give me address.

[Henry Sams]

I don't know what the words are.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, road.

[Henry Sams]

Oh, yeah. 100 Mil Plain Road, Debris, Connecticut. Come on by.

[Bill Walton]

Oh, I'm at 999 Mill Plane Road.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, you.

[Henry Sams]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

You walked over from 1666 Fear Street. All right, we'll see you next time. Bye.

[R.L. Stine]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Henry Sams]

Did you say $300? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

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