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Bonus Bang: Jason Mantzoukas, Manchester Orchestra, Andy Daly, Paul F. Tompkins, Jessica McKenna, Tim Baltz, Lily Sullivan, Shaun Diston, Jon Gabrus, Carl Tart, Dan Lippert, Ego Nwodim (The 12th Anniversary Show!)
02:22:34
In honor of CBB's upcoming 16th anniversary, we are re-releasing a few of our favorite anniversary specials. This week, it's "The 12th Anniversary Show!" originally episode #704 released May 2nd, 2021. Scott celebrates the 12th Anniversary of Comedy Bang! Bang! with co-host Jason Mantzoukas, music by Manchester Orchestra, fan favorites, plus newcomers! Special guests dropping by include Byron Denniston, The Griz, Margery Kershaw, Randy Snutz & off-and-on girlfriend Carissa, Sprague the Whisperer, intern Gino Lombardo, Charles Barkley, Rabbi Bill Walton, and Charlotte Hornette. Thanks for listening to CBB for all these years!
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Scott Aukerman
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Hey everyone, my name is Scott Aukerman and welcome back for another Bonus Bang. Bonus bangs being of course previously recorded episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that we're re releasing out from behind the Paywall and we are currently in the middle of giving you some great anniversary episodes from our past to celebrate Comedy Bang Bang's upcoming 16th anniversary. And this one was released on May 2, 2021 and it's originally episode number 704 entitled the 12th Anniversary Show. So this features Andy Daly as Byron Denniston and Dalton Wilcox, Jessica McKenna as Marjorie Kershaw, Tim Baltz as Randy Snuts, Lily Sullivan as Carissa, Sean Diston as Sprague, the Whisperer, John Gabris as Gino Lombardo, Carl Tart as Charles Barkley, Dan Lippert as Bill Walton, Eggo Wodom as Charlotte Hornet and Jason Mantzoukas as Jason Manzoukas. And an extra special treat is there's music from Manchester Orchestra and even more special than that, this is the first appearance of the Grizz played by Paul F. Tompkins. Now we talked about this on the Best ofs, but Paul came in originally going to do another character and when Jason and Andy and I were talking about you'll hear it, we suddenly found out about the existence of a person named the Grizz, Paul stepped in as the Grizz and the rest is history. So if you enjoy this and you want more Comedy Bang Bang, become a subscriber@cbb world.com you get every single episode ad free as well as every episode we've ever recorded and all live episodes. Lot of great exclusive shows like the Neighborhood. Listen, Scott hasn't seen CBB Presents. We're going to have a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang on Monday. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang. Make peace with the fish, and she'll grant you a wish. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. I like the concept of that, that people out there have beef with fishes or fish with beefes. Beef is. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. Thank you to Teenage Grave Robber for that catchphrase submission. Teenage Graverobber. Thank you so much. And what a week it is. My name is Scott Aukerman and an incredible achievement we have unlocked for this podcast. This is our 12th anniversary. We are. I think last week I said we were closing out our 11th year. No, we have closed out our 12th year. And this is the first episode of our 13th year, aka the 12th anniversary. Wow. So, yes. So welcome to show. Breaking off another 13. Well, we're breaking off our second 12th, 12. I don't know. We're in the middle, of course, of our eighth hundo, as we broke off another one a couple episodes ago with our friend who's here. We have plenty of friends from the show returning all throughout this episode, plus some other stuff. But I want to introduce him first. He, of course, is the Dink Dink man. He is the Hainong man himself. You know him from the dictator and only from the dictator. Please, single credit. Single credit. Guest here, please. Welcome back to the show, Jason Manzoukas. Yeah. Happy anniversary, Scott. Wow. Thank you so much. Who would have thought. Who would have ever thought back in 2009 that this would continue past three weeks, let alone 12 years? This scrappy little art upstart that was. That was being broadcast out of a radio station would. Would turn into each other's closets. Would turn into us locked in our closets, terrified to see and touch each other. Jason, thank you so much for being back here on our 12th anniversary episode. Of course, we covered everything there is to cover. The last time you're on Amira. We got. You know what I was very grateful for? I heard from a lot of people after the last episode that said thank you for not talking about comic books. Yes. A lot of. They were so relieved. They were so grateful we mentioned it, but that we were not that then we moved on. We're not gonna get into this because even though we were so relieved about that fact, because we could talk about them for hours. We could talk about them, you know, in a private setting, in a professional setting. The Recent Moon Knight run. That'll most likely be the basis for the Oscar Isaac. Of course, we read that and discussed. We could talk about comics as they relate to also the cop. The pop culture that we're digesting. Of course we could, but we, we don't want to do it. We're like comedy bang bang. Don't want that. We hate it. We hate the concept of it. So thank you for not doing it. I'm embarrassed that it even came up on this episode. So thank you for bringing it up so that we can abruptly move on from it. Yes, thank you. How are you doing? How are you? How do you feel at, like closing out 12 years of this? Like, like you're entering what is commonly known as your bacon, your baker's dozen year. My bacon dozen? Your baker's dozen. Baker's Dozen is 1312 pieces of bacon before every episode. Yep. But your bacon's dozen. You know, I never thought it would get past 10, honestly, because I don't think I've ever done anything in my life that has exceeded 10 years. So how long have you been married? Oh, that's right. Never mind. No, I think that's been. That's been 12 as well, I think. Did you start both? Not start. Yeah, I guess you start a marriage, you can say you started a marriage. But did you guys get married the same year that you started? Bang bang or. We did in the same 12 month period, but not in the same calendar year. But yeah, we. We got married a few months before this started. So really the best times of my life have been, wow. Doing the show and Mar the widow peak 12 years ago. I think the show's gotten better and better, but who knows? Read the boards. Uh oh. Tread the boards. Add a little tea to that. Read the boards. And you got something. The immortal bard. But Jason, we have to introduce some very important guests here. They are providing musical accompaniment to the episode. They were on the show four years ago. I can't believe it was that long ago. But they were on four years ago promoting their previous album. And they are back this week promoting their album which just came out Friday, that is. They made it. Wow. They made it a point to make this the hub and the centerpiece of their promotional appearances, if you can believe it. Wow. They are here promoting their new record, the Million Masks of God. Please welcome back to the show Andy and Robert. That's right. Manchester Orchestra is here. Nice. Thank you so much for having us. It is our pleasure. Big. Did you guys time the release of this new record? We did to the anniversary. To the 12th anniversary like we did. It's been ready for years, but 12 was specific. We wanted to wait a few. It feels particularly advantageous to do it now because, you know, you're going to promote on this episode, which is going to be probably the biggest episode of the year. Biggest episode of the year, undoubtedly, yes. And could be very potentially be, you know, the biggest accolade for us of the year. So, you know, it's a win. Win. Well, you know, you talk about this being a big accolade, and yet, Andy, I go to your Wikipedia page, which is of course my primary resource for all research on this on this podcast, and I see a little section by the name of appearances in other media, and I start salivating because I know a comedy bang bang reference is nigh. And we have television performances, late night later, Late show with David Letterman, late night, Conan O'Brien, et cetera, et cetera. Television episodes where your song, you're not even in them, but your songs are just played on them. Movies, video games, not a mention of comedy Bang Bang anywhere on the page. What do you say to that? I'm going to have to tell my mom who edits that page that she needs to kind of get her facts right and we'll take it from there. This is whole. This is like, I'm as embarrassed as you are. This is some gotcha journalism from Scott. This is the only reason I wanted you back. I mean, I like the music and everything, but very Fox News of you. This is very like, lure them in and then be like, now. Am I to believe. No, I am very happy to have you back. But, you know, hey, all you Wikipedia, not sleuths necessarily, but all of you Wikipedia bandits out there who like leaving stuff. I guess bandits take stuff. A Wikipedia bandit would be more like someone who edits things out of pages, wouldn't they? I would think so. They would steal the information from the page and not make it publicly available anymore. I mean, they might. They might fence it to another page. They might like sell it. They might sell that information to another page. Andy. Robert, what if you were to make your Wikipedia page? What if, what if your mom were to edit on to the page in its own section, a comedy bang bang appearance and then make that an nft. Oh, now we're talking. Oh, I'd love to get into NFTs and what they are like. How should we be monetizing this episode right now as an nft? Yes. I think every episode should be an nft. I think Didn't Kings of Leon make their recent band an nft? They made the band an nft. It's no longer a band. The actual band. Yeah, it's insane. I think they had that sex that they did that was on fire. That's Kol. Or an nft. No longer a band. You heard it here first. Call me. Well, guys, welcome back to the show. And you're gonna be playing songs from your new record all throughout the show. And the Million Masks of God. Tell us a little bit about the record. I mean, this is a weird time to be releasing a record. You can't go out on tour, right? Yeah, it is a bit weird. I mean, I feel fortunate that we've been able to wait a little bit. I feel bad for the artist that released things last year and had no way to perform them at all. Don't feel bad for Chaim. I Saw him on the Grass. Isn't that the name of a song you're working on? Don't Feel Bad for Chaim? Yeah, it is. It's a bit strange, but, you know, at a certain point, we finished this album right before everything locked down, and we were able to spend a really long time mixing it because everything was in lockdown. And so you've been. You've been sitting on this for a year. Which, by the way, is a song that Jason's been writing as well. Yeah, I've been sitting on this for a year. Yes, in a way, we have. So luckily we still really like it. Every time we kind of listen to it, every few months, it would go like, oh, right, this is still good. So that was a good sign. We didn't want to tinker with it anymore. This is a hardcore Scott album, right? Yes, at its core, for sure. Yeah, it's great. I. Of course, it came out on Friday, and so I've listened to it. It's about an hour. So I've listened to it about 72 times since Friday, so that's incredible. Wow. Just on repeat or have it on a loop. No sleep all night. No sleep. Of course not. Who needs to sleep when a new Manchester Orchestra album is out? Thank you, man. That's nice to hear. It is quite an accomplishment, and I'm glad you guys still like it, because I love it. And you're gonna be playing songs from it here throughout the show. And it's just the two of you. It's not the full band, but you guys are in your studio here. You have. Looks to be like four guitars up there on the walls. Yeah, these Are the four we own. You only own four guitars? You guys are professional band. You. They're great guitars, you know. Okay, well, you know, for the work, you've got the right. You've got. It looks like you've got one acoustic guitar perfect for all the acoustic songs. Unfortunately, we have two bases up there, which is Horrible investment. Oh, man. So you have it. It looks to be. You have 20 strings up there on the wall. Let's see it be 24, wouldn't it six. Oh, no. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Two bases. Two bases. My goodness. Well, that's all you need. I mean, as. As they said on the Oscars, by the way, Jason, were you excited for those Oscars a week ago? Oh, boy. You know, I'm gonna be honest. I didn't watch a frame of it. Well, there was about 30 per second, my dear boy. I didn't want. As each frame was going past. I didn't watch it. Wait, so it was on. You just had your back? I didn't watch the. For the first time, I did not tune in to. I. I wasn't interested at all for. Well, you know. You know, when the dictator got snubbed, I'm sure it was personal for you. Oh, sure. They, they, they. Borat, too. But how about the dictator? Full snub job. Dictator one. Of course, now. I mean, the dictator won when we were. When we came out. Yeah, total snub job, which, you know, I was glad to receive. Always want to receive a snub job. Truly one of Oscar's most infamous flubs and snubs. Absolutely. But why were we talking about the Oscars? You asked me if I enjoyed them last. Yeah, but what happened before that? I don't remember. We were talking about your. We were talking about the number of strings on your. Your guitars and stuff. 20 strings to the Oscar. Were you thinking maybe violins during the Oscars? Oh, no, I was thinking of those 12 notes that Mozart had and that John Batiste has. Yes, you. You have eight more strings than notes. So you guys are in pole position. Nothing to say about that. All right. Not a thing. Nope. Nope. Nothing. I'm curious now, as you guys are putting this record out, are you thinking of or planning on touring? Is this a. Now starting to become a reality? Did you have a tour planned that you postponed, or are you scheduling one now? We've had numerous tours booked and canceled. Just trying to get ahead of everything. And we have a tour that hopefully, if people continue to get vaccinated and we can tour safely, we will but we're not gonna announce it until we know we can. Until every other band has announced one. So we're not the first one. Wow. Well, you guys. Yeah, of course. It's gotta be safe out there. And you guys are keeping your fans safe. And that's the one thing that I've always felt listening to all of your record is. I feel safe when I thank you. That's exactly what a rock band wants to hear. It's just a level of safeness, non edginess. I have another. I have another question. Scott, will you read the name, the title of the album again, please? The title of the album is the Million Masks of God. Now is that a direct relate. Do you guys believe that God should. Has been wearing a Covid mask for the last year? Is this a. Oh, yeah. Is this. Are these the. Are these. Has he been wearing a million of them? I mean, we've all been double mask N95 masks. Masks that God is wearing. We feel so strongly that whatever type of virus God could contain, he would need a million masks in order. He created it though. Like, why? I don't know. He's a weirdo. It's complicated. That's what the album's about. You know, it's just a strange guy, really. A strange guy. He splits himself into three with like his son and then a ghost. Like he's a little bit of an oddball, I think. Yeah, I think that was Halloween. I think that was just crazy Halloween one year. He's like, I've got such a good costume. This year. I'm gonna split myself and a ghost. I'm a ghost. So spooky. But I'm also my own son. God. God. Suddenly Andy's. Andy's sexy. I'm gonna be a sexy. My son. Did you just say Andy's sexy? I think you would appreciate that, Andy. You know what, Andy, you're very sexy. Thank you. And. And Robert as well. All right, well, guys, so great to have you on. We'll be playing three stripped down versions of the songs on the new record. And those are the versions. Strippers. Yes, that's what we. Yeah, we try and just kind of COVID every market when we're putting our record. And you have. You have safe, non edgy songs for strippers. That's exactly right. That's going on the next pressing of the vinyl, you know. All right, guys, great to have you. We do need to get to our. And again, the name of the album is God Wears His Mask over His Chin, Not His Mouth. One million Times again, strange guy. We do need to get to our first guest and I consider him to be our first guest as you are our musical accompanists. And Jason, you have strong co host energy. But now, this is interesting, Jason, when you were on a few episodes ago, when we closed out that hundo, closed out our seventh hundo, we had this guest on and then we had, let's just say a plan formed on this episode. And then something happened that week and we wanted to talk to him about it. So please welcome back to the show. He's a royal watcher. Please welcome back Byron Denniston. Hello. Hello. Hello, lads. How are you? Am I coming in clearly from London? All the way from London. You certainly are from London and you are coming in clearly. Coming in clearly over the R waves. You remember Jason, of course. Of course, yes. Hello, Jason. Yes. Great to see you again, Byron. Great to see you. Thank you so much for making time to join us again. And this is Robert and Andy from Manchester Orchestra. Manchester is fam. From Manchester, England, I suppose. Atlanta, Georgia, but very close. I don't understand. It's just a hop, skip and a jump across the pond. Manchester, England, the site of an incredibly vibrant movie. I mean, music scene, you know, the Happy Mondays, Joy Division, like that whole. Are you on a Wikipedia page right now? What is going on? No, I'm just saying, like the movie 24 Hour Party People is basically about the Manchester and Manchester by the Sea, another rocking, vibrant movie that has a lot of editing about Manchester in Massachusetts. But be not confused, they are a band from the States here. So I apologize for that, but, well, I can't help but be confused and there's really nothing you can do to clear it up. I beg your pardon? But you know what I do want to clear up, Byron, which you were on the show. You were on our 700th episode with Jason and I and we were talking about a plan that we were going to enact that week regarding, of course. What was the plan that the Royals had? Formula one. What was. Was not called Formula One. No, it wasn't the plan. Formula one. Funny conversation. Plan one. The Groucho Gang. Was that not that was it? What was it? Oh, gentlemen, gentlemen. So much has happened since we last saw. So much has happened. I can't keep it all in my head. I know it's absolutely chaotic. It's been an insane few weeks here and there are things I. Please, when we're done with this episode, will you send it to me so that I can ask you to edit out Because I'm just going to tell you what happened. But there. Yeah, we'll edit everything out. Don't worry. The public should not know. But I'd like. I want you, you know, you. We should talk about it. Yes, we should. Yes. So this is on the DL. Let's talk about what, actually. Absolutely. So as people will, no doubt. Should I stop recording? Yeah, do the opposite of hit record, Joe. Great. Stop record, Jason. So as of the last episode, I'm. Will that make it into the episode? That joke. I don't know. I don't know. Who knows? But this will not. This will not. Okay, yes, well, some of it will and some of it won't. That's the. That's the point. I don't wish to edit myself as I go. Byron, if you don't mind. You just tell me when to hit record again and I'll hit record again. No, I don't know if I can do that. We may as well just keep recording. Recording later. We'll edit it out. We'll redact it. Yeah, we'll redact it. Whatever words you need. Redacted. Whatever you. Okay. So this will be the 12th anniversary episode. Redacted. Yes, Redacted version. Precisely. And let's just say that. And I will not forget. I will not forget to redact it. Don't forget. And the full audio will not come out until 50 years after all of us have died. Oh, wow. Is this going to be like a time capsule? Yes, it's like that. Who's going to be keeping track of when all of us die? Well, it's not that hard. It's really 50 years after the last one of us dies. Could I be the first one? I feel like somehow Sprague the Whisperer is going to be keeping track of all of those details. Yeah, that's true. He seems to be in charge of a lot of the information. All of the canon. All right, so hit us. What happened that week? So, as people will remember, I was getting into prosthetic makeup every day to pose as Prince Philip in his final days and lurking around Buckingham palace getting scoops and whatnot. And I had learned that there was going to be a launch into space of all of Europe's royals and explosion of Earth by way of nuclear missiles to coincide with Tina Turner's induction into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, which would, in fact, become Shananna's induction into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame because Sean Ana would have taken the stage. And that was coincidental. The Se and Tina Turner of it all. I believe the plan was going to be enacted that week regardless, because the Rock and Roll hall of Fame is still a few weeks away, I believe. I think one was caused by the other. But regardless, let's just say that the connections might have been tenuous. But they're there. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, they're there if you look for them. Definitely. Yes, yes. But then we determined that for me to earn a spot on the spaceship with the royals that would be taking off, I would need to marry a royal. And I set my sights upon. Well, it doesn't matter. It hardly matters. But the point became what then to do with Prince Philip, you know, and so a person who you had already been impersonating and is usually whom you had disposed of many months prior. Well, yes, and this is one of the things you let it out, I'm sure that I. I had murdered Prince Philip several months before and. And dismembered him. And he's been dead for quite a while, of course. Put his eyes to good use, sure, but str the rest of his body across the four corners of the globe. Yes. Never, never. You'd never find him, I thought. Well, I. Of course, I kept track of where all of his parts were. You'll hear that. Yes, that plays into it, but. All right, so what we decided to do, we formulated a plan. It was mostly Jason's idea, the Scrooge bit. But the idea was Jason was really into the Scrooge game. I was not into the Scrooge. That was the one part I didn't like. But go ahead. Well, it came off great, I have to say, but go ahead nearly perfectly. The idea was that a bunch of bank robbers were going to hit. We settled on Lloyd's bank. Ultimately, Near Cathedral. Bank robbers, dressed as the characters from A Christmas Carol, would descend upon the bank, which has a safety deposit box, which would be filled with frozen eyes, which would then be spilled out onto the street as the. As the robbers made their escape and they're heavily armed. And then there would be an intervention by Prince Philip, which would really be me in prosthetic makeup. He would be the hero of the day. He would foil the bank robbery and then get just blasted in the face with one of the robber's shotguns. Well, not in the face. Cause it was going to be squibs under the clothing. Well, we would have the squibs, but we felt like we needed to do it on the face in order to hide the fact that you had to switch a body in. That was not the real Prince Philip. I know, I know, but this is where things got very complicated. This is where. Yes, Dalton Wilcox had provided us with another body which was covered in the same prosthetics and going to be the same clothes, and there was going to be a body switch at the last moment. That body was going to be buried as Prince Philip while I made my way out of the scene. This is. We missed a real opportunity. I apologize, Byron, to say prior to just exactly what you're doing. Previously on Comedy Danger. That's right. Well, if only Sprague were here to do that. I know he would have cut together a. Previously on. But we. So this is. For anybody listening. This is. These are the events of episode 700. 700, yes, to the best of my recollection. But here's where things went, gentlemen. I'm afraid they went pear shaped. Yes, exactly. The person who we had hired to play Scrooge in the gang simply didn't show up. But it was fine. We went ahead with it anyway. We waited for like five whole minutes. Well, I had argued for giving him the more traditional 15 minute grace, but a bank robbery is a more precise thing in show business. Yes. You have to be five minutes early, and that means on time. So the fact that he was five minutes late, we just walked away. I have a question, Byron. In setting this up, did you hire bank robbers so as to make the bank robbery feel real, or did you hire actors to play bank robbery? Jason, were you not paying attention this whole time? I wasn't. I forgot. What did we do care. Every day of this. We were. We were part of. I. So we wrote this. We wrote the script right after the episode. Oh, right. I'm so sorry. Damn it. And so, as you know. Cut that out, Devin. I'm not gonna redact. You just redact. I demand. The rule is, if you say I want it redacted, it has to be redacted. If you want it redacted, it has to be enacted. Yes, if you. And so I'm enacting redacting. Well, anyway, it was a bunch of actors who had starred in a production of the Christmas Carol, and we had got this great guy for the Ghost of Christmas yet to Come who. All he had to do, you know, in. In A Christmas Carol, all he does is point at a grave. He's wearing big long robes. All he had to do was just show the teller the. The note. He didn't have to say anything. Yes, yes. But somehow he. We got this chatty, catty, chatty Catty, chatty, chatty, catty. We got a Chatty Cathy actor. Yes. Out there who wanted to, like, beef up his role or something. It was crazy. Well, and of course, they did not realize that they were going to be shot for real by. Right. Well, that was. We didn't tell them dressed as Prince Philip. And so that was. That ended up being. They kept saying, like, hey, where are my squibs? I see Prince Philip has squibs. Where are my squibs? And we kept saying, like, yeah, don't worry. We also told them that the police that were showing up were also actors. Sure. Yeah. And everyone in the bank was an actor. They would be totally safe and they should feel free to. We had told them, actually, that we had built an 11 to 10 scale Lloyd's bank around the real bank. So the whole thing was a set. So it may be that the Scrooge fellow was suspicious of some of that and therefore did not show up the rest of the world. Can we just say who he was? It was Patrick Stewart. Yes. All right, good. We can say that. Yes, we were going to kill Patrick Stewart. Yes. The plan was to kill Patrick Stewart and everyone else who starred with him. I mean, that didn't start out as the plan. The plan was to get Prince. Sure. Get the public to believe that Prince Philip had been killed. Foiling. That's the side benefit. The benefit on the other side of it was that we could get rid of Picard. Right. That was, yes. Just incidental. But as it turns out, gentlemen, because there was no Scrooge in the Scrooge gang, when the police got to the scene, they saw the dead body of what was meant to be Prince Philip. This body that Dalton Wilcox had with the prosthetics. Yes, yes, yes. And they. They assumed that this. The Scrooge and that this was a bad guy. And then when they determined it was Prince Philip, there was this terrible panic inside Buckingham palace that Prince Philip had joined a bank robbing squad. Wow. As Scrooge to the. The Scrooge Gang. Now, it didn't help that he was wearing, like, one of those nightcaps that Scrooge has when he throws open the windows and goes down. That was the real blunder. Yeah, well, because we had. We had thought that perhaps Prince Philip would have heard the gunshots and jumped out of his bed and all that. We thought. We thought that made him more heroic, that he, like, jumped out of bed just to go down to the bank, just to foil this bank robbery. Yes. But instead it looked like he Was if anything the ringleader. Which is a very compelling narrative, I'm sure, that the tabloids picked up with and ran with. I mean we've never seen anything like it in London. This was the greatest clamping down of a news story you have ever seen in England. You've never seen such message discipline on the part of the royals or such cooperation on the part of the, of reporters. Anyone who came within a mile of it was, was threatened with their lives and ran away. Probably a kilometer. Within a kilometer. Probably within a kilometer. Which is how you would say. I know, that's so polite of you to translate it. You don't, you don't have to say for our sake. Yeah, no, I assume that Americans are far too stupid to even understand that word and that it is a unit of measurement. This was the biggest clampdown on a news story since Princess Di was abducted by aliens, wasn't it? Yes, exactly, exactly. And even bigger because apparently you've heard of that. Well, Sir Piers Morgan told me. I mean, I think the Clash wrote a song about it. Yeah. About the, the effect. The clampdown. About the clampdown. Oh, well, anyway. And also I thought the law was vaguely about it tangentially. Yep, absolutely. And London calling because. Yeah, they had to. There's a lot of calling in the city of London. Long distance calls are very expensive. That whole people realize that the long distance rates. Yes. To space. Yes. Put out Buckingham palace, put out the story that Prince Philip had died peacefully surrounded by family. And of course that's what everyone thinks happened. And I'm furious because all of our wonderful efforts have gone to naught. They've been so sort of sewn up tight by the palace. Well, it's, it was, it was unfortunate because we had an airtight plan and we had the branding of the Scrooge Gang that was going to be just, you know, dynamite and take over the world. And it was, it's, it's unfortunate. It's unfortunate it went down. This also really inter, like completely interrupts your entire plan to get on that spaceship. Were you able to go, were you able to go to the, the funeral though, and, and cozy up to one of the royals? Well, the funeral itself was a rather small affair, but there was an after funeral party which was very, it was huge. Was that in the hotel lobby? You see the lobby of Windsor Castle? Yes. And it was really, it was like a three day buck and all. But, but, but here's where things get only more complicated. Okay. If you remember Lady Amelia Spencer. Right. She is single, right? Single. Ready to mingle with. Is she the one that's engaged to the. Great. Yes. Okay, well, this is what. When I asked Dalton Wilcox, where did you get the body to swap? He said, this is the Griz. What? Yes, Dalton Wilcox. And this is of his own volition. Well, he. He came to feel that this was a. A Dr. Mallet Mr. Grizzle scenario. Right. That's right. And. And so. That's right. And it was his. He was duty bound to kill a monster. Yes. Yes. And so he's shot the Grizz through the heart with a silver bullet. And just to be safe, also shot up in the left thigh because something. Yes. Wow. So Grizz is gone. So, lady, what's her name? Amelia. Amelia Spencer. She's. I mean, the Grizz has. Has dropped off her radar, so maybe she's ready to part. The Grizz is buried in Prince Philip's grave, covered in prosthetic makeups. Whoa. That's what's going on. Crazy. So how does this affect plan one and you getting up there? Well, now, how it affects it is that I now am trying my best to woo Lady Amelia Spencer and to become her doing husband. Well, it's been difficult because she doesn't accept that the Grizz is gone. She says, oh, no, that's just the Grizz. He disappears for a while. You know, he goes off the grizz. Yeah, he's that kind of guy. The Grizz goes off the Grizz. You know, this is typical Grizz biz, right? So she's, you know, I mean, all of my sort of. There's no grizzness like show grizzness. Sure. So she's not receptive to your charms as of yet? No. She keeps saying, I'm engaged. I'm engaged. Well, what would the Grizz say? And all this. And I. And I, of course, I have this inside information that he's been buried. He's dead and buried. What point do you just drop this information in her lap and say, look, I know what's really going on, and I. I'm your best bet right now. That's what I'm trying to figure out. At some point, yes. Just take her aside and say, listen, your fiance has been murdered. Don't just take her aside. Take her to the grave itself and exhume the body and take off the prosthetics. And, you know, you might have to show her. That's not. Don't just tell. Show. I have to bring along some alcohol swabs to get the prosthetics over. That's probably the least of your concerns with exhuming the whole body. Not at all. Can you imagine? And prepare her. Tell her there's going to be quite a lot of spirit gum you're going to see. Yes, yes, yes. And don't worry, we're going to be able to take that off and you'll see the grizz underneath. Can you imagine going through all the effort of exhuming a body and digging it up and then being unable to take the prosthetics off and prove what you wish to prove because you didn't bring along alcohol to get. Well, if you could perhaps have. You could bring, like, a thermos of drinks, Like a slow gin fizz grape. Sure. Which is which? You could be drinking while you're exhuming the grave, you know. Oh, yes. There would be drinks involved. Yeah. This is a. This is a nice little date, you know, out there in the cemetery. This could be romantic. Yeah, I suppose so. And prompt some closure for her. And then, boom, you're right there to be the shoulder she cries on. Next thing you know, you're in outer space. Yes, yes, yes. Well, that's right. Which is the end game, right? Being in outer space. Being in outer space is the end game. Well, I think the end game is killing Thanos and getting people back from the blip. Right, of course, yes. Well, this is. I mean, when is plan one happening, though? Because it was supposed to happen this week. Well, yes, it seemed very imminent, but I gather that the funeral rather sort of threw things off a bit. And now I wonder if perhaps they're considering. They're wondering what will happen with the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, you know? Oh, so they're waiting for the Rock and Roll hall of Fame to see if Sean Anag legally changes their name and gets to the stage before Tina Turner. Is that what it is? Yes. Because if, in fact, Sean Arnaud does not make it into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, then they're in the clear. Maybe plan one would be called off for now. Right. Well, I mean, this all just depends on, of course, the grid being gone and the Grizz being. Someone mention my name? What? Wait. Well, well, well. Oh, no. Myron Denniston, as I live and breathe. Who's this, then? Oh, you know who it is. Me Old China. Sir, Announce yourself. Who are you? It's me. Degrees. Wait a minute. How can this be? We've just been told you were Killed Walton Wilcox. Murdered you with a silver bullet to the heart and the leg. No one kills. Degrees. Oh, my. Wait, so you're unkillable? Or he just didn't. Are you some sort of immortal? How do you. I don't think I'm unkillable. But that bloke didn't kill me. Oh, God. So you. So far, I'm unkillable. So that was you then, with the prospect? Oh, it was me with the prosthetics. Wait, so was it also you who was buried in Prince Philip's grave? Did you have to? Were you buried alive? Not the first time, dearie. And it won't be the last. Oh, my God. So are you here for revenge? I'll tell you what I'm here for. I'm here to defend the honor of my girlfriend, Lady Amelia. Wow. You did all of this for love? For love and for sex. And for money. Where's the money come into it? Oh, I guess she's got a lot of money. She's a Spencer. Yes, money. She's a Windsor. So you. You know everything you know about the Scrooge Gang? Everything? I know every. The Scrooge Gang's not gonna work. Wait, did you listen to episode I know you? Episode 700? Me and Byron like it anytime. Anytime I'm spoken about, I manage to hear it. I watch the world with the eyes of little birds. Well, Grizz, it's a pleasure to have you on the show. Welcome to Comedy Bay, Grizz. I'm sorry. The Grizz. And by the way, I would like to thank you, the Grizz, because I also was against the name the Scrooge Gang. I thought. I especially thought it was. At this point, it's a tie, and you're not even part of it anymore. The Grizzly. It's a bit whimsical. No, I'm not part of it, am I? I never was part of it. This is all a fantasy of your making. Just so I understand, Dalton Wilcox did shoot you and did cover you in prosthetics to look like Prince Philip and did lay you in the street in front of Lloyd's Bank. And. And. And you were buried in Prince Philip's grave, but none of that had killed you, and you managed to claw your way out. Now, here you are. That's right. You got anyone? Nobody beats the Grizz. The Grizz. This is shocking. This is a shocking development. Shocking. Nobody beats the Grizz. Nobody beats the Grizz. Are there T shirts? Cause I'd love To make some T shirts. That's gotta be a T shirt. That's gotta be a T shirt. Well, the Grizz. This is incredible. Did you claw your way out of the grave? What exactly happened? The easiest thing in the world is to escape from a coffin who has to be buried underground. Are you some sort of David Blaine type illusionist? What, that? No, the guy that goes in a glass box and says, I'm gonna go in a glass box for a while. Yeah. So you, you have no aspirations to be any kind of magician or. What I do, I don't do for show. I do it. He doesn't have time to be doing magic. He's engaged to a royal. He has nothing but time to do magic. Once you're engaged to a royal, once you're married. Okay, so you have no time right now. No time right now. Sorry. No time for magic right now, mates. I've got to be on it. I've got to survive to make it to the royal wedding that I'm going to. Have you announced your presence? Have you returned back to your fiance at this point? I've been communicating with her through a series of birds. Through a series of. Which birds? Which series is this? Do you mean actual birds or are you in the sense of like in Game of Thrones? Like the little street urchins are the gossip network? Those little birds, both the little street urchins carry actual birds. This looks like a waste of the birds. Natural talent to fly. These birds is all wounded by it, that is they can't fly no more. Look at this cruel prick. Think birds should just be put to death, summarily executed if they ever get an injury? Byron, what are you, the producers of luck? But with birds, you're saying you've. You've written little notes to your fiance and tied them to the legs of birds who are injured and cannot fly and handed them to street urchins who then carry them to Lady Amelia. You. Did I stutter? No, you didn't. I honestly, I think it would be more merciful to kill the birds. Oh, you would, wouldn't you? I do. Well, that's you, is it? A posh toff like you, all you think about is, is it lower than me? Kill it. I mean, Byron Denison, I have to say, this is like, this is. As a royal watcher. Yes. This must be huge news for you. Not only that the Grizz is alive, but also hearing about like a specific royal method of communication, heretofore unknown. It's not a royal method oh, it's a method from the streets. I'm a commoner, you might say. Oh, interesting. Oh, okay, got it. I had no idea. Oh, you didn't come from Oxbridge, mate. Your accent is British. So very posh, the grizz. Where, where, what's your background? Where did you come from? We don't know anything about you. I come from the gutter. Are you some sort of like Oliver Twist or Fagan style con artist out there on the streets who's ingratiated himself? Oliver Twist was not a con artist. He was an orphan, wasn't he? And Fagin was not a con artist either. He was a pickpocket and he ran a ring of little kid pickpockets. I bet nobody was conning anyone. People were just taking people's wallets. Would you say. Are you a con artist? Kind of like a Danny Ocean or, or a. I can't remember what Brad Pitt's character's name in, but he ate a lot. He certainly was always eating something. I think his name was Shrimp Cocktail. His name was Shrimp Cocktail. It's not a bad name. Brad Pitt plays a character named Shrimp Cocktail in the ocean. This is my best friend. This is my best friend. Tail at that. And. And at precisely 11:45. Shrimp cocktail, you're going to move to the blackjack table. How long does it take to sing the song God Save the Queen? I mean, shrimp come from the ocean, so it's not that big of a stretch. As do we all, mate. As do we all. That's true. So say we all. So say we all. Battle Star Galactica. Oh, are you a sci fi fan? I'm sci fi. Oh really? What's your favorite? You and SP1 recommend. Any recommendations? I'm looking for something new to watch sci fi wise. Blake 7. Of course you've got to watch Blake 7. Well, Doctor who. Yes, Doctor who. That's the only sci fi that really matters, isn't it? You guys are really. Byron, that is good, good, good. I mean, do you have a. Do you have a. I guess you don't have a problem with Byron here. I mean the guy who shot you is Dalton Wilcox, right? Oh, I've got a problem with Byron. What's your problem with me, Dalton? Will, you're full of questions, ain't you Byron? All I'm trying to do is steal your fiance away. If and if killing you to do it is what's needed, I'm perfectly willing. Do you hear yourself, mate? Do you hear yourself? You're shouting. Are you even Aware that I actually can't hear myself that well. And that's why I do tend to shout sometimes. I do have. I. I do. Mates. Let me just say, I do have a bit of tinnitus, and so I often cannot heal myself that well. And so sometimes I will speak more loudly than I realize I'm speaking. So if that does happen, I do apologize. This makes sense of the Grizz, but there is also anger. Are you even aware, the Grizz, of the plan to take you up into space? Do you even know that that's happening and that that's one of the side benefits of marrying a royal? Are you even aware? Indeed, I am aware. And no one's gonna keep me from marrying Lady Amelia and going to speak space or deep under the ocean or wherever she wants to go. Cause I'm in love with her, and that's the truth. What are you gonna do out in space, the Grizz? I don't know space things. I mean, I can't collect rocks. Does it sound that exciting? I don't. What's exciting to me is being by the side of my lady love, Lady Amelia. You know what's kind of wonderful about being able to. Cause, you know, previously, when we were speaking to by a couple of weeks ago, previously, we got this whole story, and I got really wrapped up in Byron surviving the apocalypse on Earth and living in space. But. But now that I'm talking to the Grizz. What? I realize that at the heart of this is a love story. Yeah, you know, at the heart of this is a story about Lady Amelia and the Grizz and that their love is true. Well, he did mention money. And sure, sex. Money was number three. And also love was number. Sex was number two. And money was number three. Yes. For me, space is number one. A romantic ranking. Well, what are you gonna do with money out in space? Are you gonna turn it into space? Bucks buy rocks. Can I ask. Now, here's an interesting question. Yeah, of course. Byron, knowing that you have had faked Prince Philip's death using what you believed to be the corpse of the Grizz. Yes. Have you been trying to woo Lady Amelia as a new. A new person or as Byron or as the Grizz, have you been impersonating the Grizz? And if so, I'd like to hear how that's going. Well, no, I have been a new suitor, but rumor has reached my ears that Dalton Wilcox has been impersonating the Grizz, the man that he believed he killed to Try. And why would he do that? Because. Don't you all want the Grizz out of the way? We got. We gotta get. Is Dalton available? I have no idea. I have no idea where he is. Dalton around, can we. I have been trying to present myself as a new suitor, but Dalton, who, who believed up until well, still believes that he killed the Grizz, has sort of stepped into his shoes and tried to take his place to marry Lady Amelia. He literally stepped into my shoes. And you know what's funny is that my, my shoes is bigger than Dalton Wilcox's shoes. And so he's had his stuff. Newspaper in the toes. It is very funny. Wow. You can tell they're not his shoe. His feet are. They look ridiculous. That must infuriate. That must infuriate Dalton Wilcox because newspapers are usually from the city. Yeah, you must hate that. He must hate all that city. He would prefer just manure strewn rags instead of newspapers, but that's all he could get. Kerosene soaked shirt like the equivalent of newspapers for cowboys. His manure strewn rags, they get delivered on your porch every day. I mean like they wanted posters and such. Did you. The Old West. Well, did you see the manure? Did you see the manure soaked rag today? Yep. Looks like it's going to rain. Well, look, we, we. This is an astounding development. It certainly is. The Byron Dunn, the Prince Philip story, and unfortunately we have to take a break. And a Grizz story, well, the Grizz story continues on. That's perhaps the most established. This is a bit of a. This I will say, based on the theme. This is a bit of a Grizzmas story. That's true. I mean, the Scrooge gang is ready. Carol Grizzmas Carol. Well, we have to take a break, but can you guys stick around? Is that. Oh, I'll be sticking around. Okay, wonderful. I do have a tea later with Lady Amelia, but I can give you a little more time. Oh, I regret to inform you, your lordship, that tea has been cancelled. We'll see. We'll see. And possibly Dalton Wilcox, if you're listening out there, please call in. We'd love to hear from you. Yes, Dalton, if you're listening live, please call in. I'd love to hear your impression of Degree Grizz. All right. But before we do, Manchester Orchestra. Are you guys ready to play your first song? Let's do it. Let's do it. Which one is this? This is off the new record, the Million Masks of God. And which song are you about to play here. This song is called Bed Head. Bed Head. All right, guys, here we go. This is Manchester Orchestra. 1, 2, 3, 4. Arguing with the dead. I'm not alone but it feels like someone left? Deaf notes and talking heads carrying on your debt? There's blood on the bed head and volumes you left unsaid? Let them talk and let it happen? Now I'm afraid you're alone? Oh my God, let me relinquish and start to distinguish My past in my time? You and I are the fire so oh my God, let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind and now I believe in the cool cold Calling against your skin clutching my neck Said it's all supposed to end like this you and I panoramic Now I'm afraid of the ghost? Oh my God, let me relinquish and start to distinguish my past and my time? You and I are holy fire soul. Oh my God, let me extinguish the habit the secret glimpsed the loss in my mind and now I believe. Right by the entrance you broke? Finally reality's taking its hold? You're not who you were but you can't let it go? You're not where you're from but you're always alone? So I stick a flag in the ground? I think I know who I'm living for Now I am what I am Same above is the ground? It's not what I want but I'm figuring it out? Oh my God, let me relinquish and start to distinguish My past and my time? Cause there is only love and fire so oh my God, let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind and now I believe in the cold, the very nice. All right, guys, we're gonna go to a break. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang 12th anniversary episode after this. This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Here's what it is. You create a stunning online presence with Squarespace, where you can easily showcase your services, whether it's, I don't know, consultations, maybe events, experiences, all on a fully customizable website. Just enjoy yourself customizing this thing. You're going to love it. It attracts clients and it helps grow your business. Squarespace's cutting edge design tools make it simple for anyone to build a bespoke website website that aligns perfectly with their brand. Here's how you Start. You start with Blueprint AI, their AI. AI AI AI powered website builder. And create a fully personalized site in just a few steps. Oh, this sounds so futuristic and exciting. Squarespace also helps streamline your entire workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing and professional invoicing. Plus, get paid on time time with branded invoices and seamless online payments. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial. 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And we have Jason Manzukas here of the Massachusetts Manzoukas's. He said, hey, oh, as and then left me hanging. Oh, sorry, I didn't realize. I thought you were gonna move right on. Yes, I'm still here. Yes. Once again, happy anniversary. And we have, of course, the band Manchester Orchestra, who is here playing songs from their record just came out on Friday, the Million Masks of God. Hello, guys. That was a beautiful song. Bedhead. That's the single, isn't it? It is, yes. Ah, so good. Thank you so much for being here. An incredible, incredible celebration of both music and people here on Comedy Bang Bang. Of course, this is the show where we talk to interesting people and of course, America's nay humanities podcast. And. And our other guests are no exception to humanity. We have, of course, Byron Denniston here. Thank you. Yes. I don't consider myself an exception to humanity in any way. More appreciate that. Maybe you should ask around. The Grizz is here. The Grizz is here. Nobody beats the Grizz. Nobody beats the Grizz. T shirts in the Shopify store soon in production, of course. And if we ever get a we hear that Zoom chime open up, we'll know that Dalton Wilcox has called into the zoom. But we do have to get to our next guest. She is a park ranger. She's one of our wonderful park rangers out there in our national parks. And last time we talked to her, she was up in the St. Louis Arch, which Byron and Jason we mentioned, I believe, the last time you were on the show. And we'll see what's going on with her now. Please welcome Back to the show. Marjorie Kershaw. Hi, Scott. Thanks for having me. Happy anniversary. 1212. Yeah, check 1212 here. Thanks so much for being on the show. You remembered Jason. I don't know if you've ever met Jason. I don't think we have ever met. It's lovely to meet you, Marjorie. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. And of course, Byron Denniston, who's from merry old England. Yes, indeed. Hi. You know the Sheriff of Nottingham, et cetera. Yeah, yeah. Okay, great. Hi, nice to meet you. Pleasure. Pleasure. Famous denizens of England I'm lumping you in with. I've never been to the St. Louis Arch, but now I'm excited to visit it now that it's a national park. I wouldn't go if it was simply a thing. Oh, yeah. Gateway to the West. And of course, we have the Grizz here. I don't know if you've ever met the Grizz. Griz. Have you ever gone to the St. Louis Arch? Never been. But it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my love. Nice to meet you. Well, Scott, I'm actually not at the arch right now. No. Where. What's happened to you? I'm at arguably the jewel of the NPS national park system. That's right. You're in Yosemite. I'm here. I'm here. Didn't get transferred. Not working here. Just took my personal time to come out and look at it because, you know, it's been my dream for a long time. That's where you want to get to? That is where I want to get to. That's the big show. That's the game. That's. I thought you'd been called up, but no, you're just there. That's the big leagues. That's the big league. That's. The arch is kind of AAA baseball. And if that. Well, yeah, you know, I've. I've been sort of. I've been making my. Making a name for myself through some of the lesser parks. Jason. So I got it. I started at Hinnickles in California, as I call them. The jazz hands of Central California. Sure. Then I was moved up to the gates of the Arctic. Least visited park in Alaska, Dry tortuous in Florida, which is just a big fort. Then the Arch during COVID where you couldn't go in the elevator. But I'm here on my personal time at, well, I would say the best park in the city. The crown jewel. Yeah. This is where. This is where you want to get. But you're just there on pt. Yep, yep, yep. And unfortunately, Scott, I did suffer a mild ankle injury just as I was going through the south gate at Wawona Campground. You know, I say don't ever take a social trail, but there was a gum wrapper I wanted to get and no. So you bet. What happened? You stepped on a pebble or. Yeah, I just took. I just took a. I took a route the wrong way and timber did I go. Just like. Just like big old General General's Alice in Wonderland. Tim Burton. Tim Burton. Wonderland took me down. Started off great and interesting and then was terrible at the end. That's right. That's. So far my experience here at Old Southgate. But you didn't. You didn't like the fraps day? Oh, Kay. It didn't work out. I chortled with my not joy in this. You didn't line a fly wagon? No. Twas grilling and the sly toes did. Oops, here I trip, I go. That'd be a fun prank for lumberjacks to play. They'd be like Tim Burton and then suddenly Tim Burton walks in, everyone's ducking and trying to get out of the way, and instead of a lumberjack, it was Edward Scissorhands cutting down train. That would be funny. That would be funny. Oh, well, thank you. Better than the Scrooge Gang. Wait, so, Marjorie, are you like. Are you down? Are you like, out of commission? Do you need us to send help? Oh, wow. Well, that. Are you. Are you broadcasting from it within the actual park? Do you need. Well, just barely within the park. You know, I didn't make it to Tunnel View. Haven't seen El Cap or Half Dome yet. Haven't gone on a hike to the Cathedral Lakes. Nope. Just sitting here. Just can almost see the grove of sequoias. Just can almost barely glimpse it from where I am. But you can't see even an inch of it, can you? Because you're just still just in the. In the gate. I'm just in. Just the promise of it makes you happy. Boy, oh boy. I'm almost there. Mrs. Is it. Is it true that Americans drive through trees there? Oh, well, not within the actual park. We have a drive through within a tree. There are drive through trees, but none of those exist within park boundaries. Is that good for a tree? No, no, certainly not. Certainly not. Oh, look. Who cares about living things all of a sudden? Yeah, birds are in trees. Do you care about them, Byron? I like birds. As long as their wings work and they don't snap. Gotta like, lot of rules. Just that one. So do you need assistance or have any of the rangers come by and, and see you there or. I've been trying to make some inroads. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm connected with all these folks on LinkedIn, but I just. Sure, but are they not refusing? Well, you know, Scott, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to spill any tea, but they are Yosemite park rangers, so, you know, they're, they're, they're a bit of, you know, it's sort of like this. They're seniors and I'm a freshman. You know, they're a little bit untangible. Okay, so if they came by, would you even, would you even let them know that you were hurt or would you try and be cool and play it off like everything so far, I've been trying to keep it very cool. Yeah. Have they swung by? Have they driven by you? A couple people have driven by, say, hey, do you need any help? And I. Oh, no, just getting rooted to the ground. Just trying to. You should tell them you need getting rooted to the ground. Just connect, just, you know, just trying to reconnect. Just trying to surf those frequencies. How long have you been out there? About 18 hours, but I have, I, you know, always carry water, so I'm all right. So. And to be clear, you're not stuck. This is a 127 hours type situation. No, you're at about an hour. It's an 18 hours time situation. This is just frozen by my own anxiety and pride. Just trying to make a good impression on these. Yosemite. How far away away are you from the car that you arrived in? So. Well, I actually just got dropped off on a bus. Didn't splurge for renting a car, you know, Don't. Just trying to make the most of my time out here. Yeah, you can't afford that on an elevator operator salary. No, no, no. Well, this is terrible, but no, I'm in the park here where Muir camped with Teddy Roosevelt and said, hey, ain't this a great idea? I mean, I'm right there. I'm almost at the valley floor, that famous John Mu. How far away are you? Hey, isn't this a great idea? How far away are you? Isn't that on a plaque at the beginning of the park? The mountains are calling and I must. Hey, ain't this a good idea? How far away are you from the gate? Are you just on your feet? Well, there's three gates, so I am just within the south gate at Wawona Campground, so I'm technically in the park. Just haven't seen any of its more resplendent views. But if you were to scooch back, even, like three feet, would you be outside the park? Okay, so you just made it right. Just there. Okay, well, it's a good place to be. Great. Oh, can't. Well, and you made it, like. I mean, like, you really have to, like, at least acknowledge and honor the victory of having made it into the park. Thank you so much. And I think, you know, a couple just a little bit more, a few more hours of elevating this, and. And I might be able to hobble back over to my tent. So, you know, I'm. I. I'm. And I have. I cashed in all my sick days, all my vacation days, so I have. I have 12 days. I just, you know, got them. It happened on. I wasted one of them. Yeah, well, already. But I got a lot. I wish I could give you 12 more days. 12 days of Christmas. Oh, the Grizz. The 12 days of Grizzmas. The Grizz. You're so sweet. I can see why she fell in love with you. Thank you. Aside from this sex, which is number two to you. Number two? That's what he calls giving her the Grizz. Is that number one for her, by the way? I hope so. The sex? No, the. Oh, the love. What are you asking? I. I was wondering what. What order it was for her. She's not satisfied with the six, I can tell. Really? Yes, Just that. Slit your face, Byron Dennison. Wow. Is that the rumor by. She told me that herself. She says, I can't wait for the Grizz to get back, but not for the sex. You lie. No, it's true. They ought to call you. Lyon Denniston. That was an amazing slam. Thank you. Well, it's so great to have you back, Marjorie. I. If you need help at any point during the show, just let me know and I will contact anyone you need me to contact. Oh, that is so kind. Thank you so much. So mean that you are out there in the. The West. You know, we know we have agents who roam the West. Comedy bang, bang agents out there all through. On horseback, all throughout the west coast. Oh, on horseback. Looking for holes in the ground. So, you know, I'm sure there's plenty. Perfect. Perfect. Well, I'm pretty near a big boulder, so I might just try to hoist myself up a little. Alex, Honnold action. A little free solo right here. Of course. Just lean back and just. That'll change my view. That'll alone. Are you lean back, do all the leans? Yeah. Are you next to a garbage can or anything? I mean, I can only imagine they're right there by the gate. I'm. I'm pretty close to a garbage can. I'm also quite close to, you know, the little newspaper you can get about things to do in the park that when. That's great. One of them. What about. What about any rats strewn with manure is. It was part of the problem that your. Your hiking boots might not have fit and they're shoved full of manure rags. You know what? You know what? Everyone says it's important to have a snug fitting boot, but I was like, prove it. And I went. I went a size up and. Yeah, it's no good for the slide. I wish I had some manure strewn rags to put in these toes. Search through that garbage can. Maybe they'd be slider. Just so we can fix you in space. You're near a big boulder, a trash can and a newspaper. That's right. Yeah. About just under a yard within the south gate. Right. You're three slides away from being out of the park entirely. Three adult scoots away from being outside the park. Well, great. Marjorie, thank you so much for making the appointment to be on the show. I appreciate you. Oh, my pleasure. Yeah, I wanted to talk from. From the. From the crown jewel. Of course. Well, we do need to get to our next guest and he is. I forgot exactly. Exactly what state he's from. He. I think he's from Cincinnati, isn't he? I can't remember. I'm from Wisconsin. Oh, yeah, you're the Cincinnati playboy. No, sorry, I am Redact that Devin. Redacted. Has been enacted. Redacted and enacted. Thank you. He has been on the show many times. He is of course the guy who says yoink whenever he steals anything. Please welcome back to the show, Randy Snuts. Oh, thanks for having me, Scott. And I apologize in advance for the chaos that's about to ensue. What do you mean chaos that's about to ensue? I mean. Yeah, okay, so I'm here too. Okay. What? Oh, it's me, Carissa. Karissa. Randy Snutz's girlfriend. Yes, I've heard a lot about you, Karissa. This is crazy. What is going on with this show? There's a lot of confrontations. Yeah, I have a lot a bone to Pick with you guys, big time. A bone to pick. With who? Jason Manzoukas or the Grizz? Or we got the Grizz. Surely probably Scott. We're probably with Scott Aukerman. Yeah, well, with all you guys, with all his boys, with all Randy's boys on here. She hacked my email. She stole the Zoom, and she's zoom bombing us right now. There was nothing I could do. Oh, she guessed my email password. What is your email password? The word 69 in lowercase with a hyphen. No, that's a good idea. Okay. That'll throw her off the scent. I just want to say, like, I am sick and tired of him coming on here on Comedy Bangs. I think you guys are a really bad influence on him, and every time he gets off the podcast, he's a different person, and I. I hate who he becomes after. He talks a lot of. About you, Carissa, I have to say, you and your scandalous behavior. Scott, please do not do this to me, man. I don't need to get double crossed. I like Randy. When he's at home, he's quiet. He just sits there. What? But after he comes on here, he comes back home and he thinks he's all head honcho, you know, big man on campus. Big man. I am b. I am bmoc. Because me and the guys cut a rug, and then I'm like, I'm empowered. And I get home and I'm like, I'm not putting up with this anymore. Yeah. So, I mean, that's the Randy that we see. We see the Randy who talks a lot of shit and talks a lot of smack and says he's not going to put up with you. And you're saying we also see a Randy who, you know, when he talks to us, it tells us about the fact that it sounds like you are charisma manipulating him in a lot of instances, emotionally and physically manipulating him. Does cut. Does cut a rug still mean the same thing it used to be? Quite sure. Are you a professional rug cutter? Yeah, that's my current job right now, and I have a good time at work, so I just repurpose that phrase. Oh, okay. And me, I work at Yankee Candle, so I. What is Yankee Candle? Oh, okay. So I help with the smells and all that for the candles. What does that mean, you help with the smells? You help them to smell or you don't sell the candles? You help in the development of the scents? Yeah, I help them with the smells. So, like, one of my latest ones is, like, the hot Bar at Whole Foods. Oh. As a candle. The entire hot bar. So everything that would be in the hot bar. Like chicken tenders. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you know that kind of smell where all the food goes together. Yeah, it's all very. It's competing, pungent smells. Yeah, I get that. They have both types of lasagna. The meat and the vegan and teriyaki chicken. And there's often a gumbo in there as well, isn't there? You have Whole Foods there in England. What do they call it there? The Complete Ingestibles. Okay, that makes sense. The one thing Byron and I can agree on, we love complete, complete ingestibles. So I just want to say this is Randy's last time on here. He's cut off. He's one of our favorites. Randy. Randy. He's saying dafook. Dafook. It is not my last time on the podcast. Yeah, it is, Randy. This is it. So make. Make. Make it your best one. That counted. Make it count. It's impossible for it to be the best one. It's an anniversary show. I mean, it's always voted on pretty high, but they're always kind of a clusterfuck. Yeah, that's true. But have you ever voted on one of those yourself? You're always like, well, I gotta put the anniversary one in there. So you vote for your own episodes, Randy. Yeah, I got burner accounts to spare. Okay, great. Oh, Randy, did you get. Are you. Did you get bots to vote? Yeah, I. I always buy bots to vote. Like, unfortunately, that's the world that we live in now, you know? Like, everything is being, like, infested by bots and the Russians and. Okay, this is not the Randy that we know. When he Black Mir. This is what you guys do to him. You get them all riled up like this. And I just like it when he's at home. He sits there, he's quiet. We watch Real Housewives, you, York. And he doesn't talk. And then he comes down here and he gets all piped up. He comes in piped up. I have to say, absolutely, because look at what my home life is. I'm drinking sleepy tea so that I can fall so I can pass out during Real Housewives. How dare you say that? You know that. That's my show. That's my entire identity. I don't care. Like, look, you're in front of my boys. This is my turf now. All right, Carissa, so I'm going to put you on blast. This is. Consider us to be Your boys. By the way, I've never considered myself to be your boys. You know what, Randy? I'm comfortable saying that I have your back right now as you stand up for yourself. Oh, yeah. Disgusting. I, I, I'm for all people standing up for themselves and wanting to express themselves however they want to express themselves. So, Randy, that includes you. But, Carissa, that also includes you. This comedy Bang Bang is an inclusive place where we can all be whoever we want to be. No, see, I think comedy is really just poison for his brain. You guys infect him when he comes on here. It's cult behavior. I don't like it. I totally disagree. I think that this is empowering. I come back with wind under my sails, ready to call out Karissa's deviants and scam. How long does that last, though? Because it sounds like the minute you confront her that she just bats you back down. Yeah, that's true. It doesn't last that long. I just want us to be, you know, like my friends back home. Like, like Mackenzie and her guy Alec. You know, they, they're, what they do is they go to different restaurants and they try different wings, and I just want a life like that with Randy. I f. Cking hate this. Are you trying them for the smells or for the taste? I'm trying it for both of them, but I thought, you know, we could have our own thing, you know, like me and Randy. You know, maybe we could go to different. Different restaurants and, you know, try out the bathrooms, you know, and that could be our, Our thing. Bathrooms. Try them out and destroy them. Or, you know, try them out, you know, see if you like them, if they're good. You know, restrooms are hard to find. Marjorie, is this triggering you? Marjorie, do you need to go to the restroom right now? I can see you're sort of bouncing around in your seat. Oh, me? Oh, I was just trying to get my foot free of the root. I'm sorry. But actually, also, really quick, Karissa, I was wondering, have you. Do you have any line of, Yeah, I don't know, smells from the park system? I got chlorine. Oh. Oh, just. Just chlorine. Because what I love most about Yankee Candle is, like, how all the smells have names, you know, like, like, is it called chlorine? Or is it called, like, summer skin 6:30? It's called. It's called pool pee because, you know, that's actually what that chlorine smell is when. Chlorine. Yeah, it's not activated until someone actually pees. Yeah, if you're by a pool and you smell chlorine. It's because someone has peed in it. Yeah, exactly. Wait, Scott, is that true? Very true. Yeah. Why do you have a pool at your place? No, never. But that just made me so sad thinking about on all the pools I've been in in the past. That explains why every time I pee in the pool, I'm like, where's that chlorine smell coming from? I guess so. Well, look, Randy, we hate to not have you on the show anymore, but Carissa has lowered the boom. So it appears this is your last appearance. No way. Absolutely not. Carissa, I'm just going to get a different email and sign in, and I'll think of some kind of devious password that you'll never be able to guess. Like, I could guess it right now. It's all 69s and then. And then 1, 6, 6, 7. Damn it. That's a good one. That's a really good one. All 69. So then 666. Randy, I feel like a lot of times you. You come on and. And when you leave the show, you are ready to break up with Carissa. Like, you're your relation. We. You know, and you have for. You know, what happens in time. Yeah. Yeah. What happens? That. That draws you back in. And I can't help but notice, and I hope this is okay. I'm saying this. I know we're all on zoom, but it appears as though Carissa is wearing an engagement ring. No, she. She puts that on. She puts it on. And she goes out into the community, and she's like, randy proposed to me. And then I puts me in a position where I'm like, no, I didn't, and I look bad. Well, first it puts you in the position where you say, dafuq. Yeah, Dafuq. This is depositor. I just want people to think of me as engaged because it makes me, you know, sexier to other people. Are you looking for sex from other people? So you're looking for that? It's not that I'm looking for sex. Like, Randy is, like, my rock, like, my number one. But, you know, like, do I want to look sexy to other people? Do I want to look hot? Yeah. Number one implies that you're looking for a number two, though, and a number three and a number four. Yeah, you know, you don't know. You know, like, I bet Randy's got other girls out there. Absolutely not. I'm not. I'm either trying to be at home and, like, have a peaceful time Or I'm. I'm going to be out with my boys. That's it. Those are the two. The two sides of the same coin for Randy Snuts. Yeah. I mean, Carissa is a smoke show to me. So, you know, if you're coming at me for, like, not wanting to be with her, you better. You're coming. Incorrect is what's happening. How dare you say that? How dare you imply that. I've got a question for these two love words. Sure. Randy, turn off your audio so you can't hear. Okay, I'm. All right. Here we go. Karissa, explain this all to me. How do you rank the following things? Love, sex, money. Put them in a numerical order. What you like the best being first, and what you like the least being last. Okay, so for sure. Money first. Okay, for sure. Does Randy have a lot of money? No, but my dad does. My dad owns a cement factory. The cement factory? Yeah. Can I add going into space? Yeah. One of the things on the list, does that supplant your number one or. I think that'd be number two for me. I think I'd love to go up there. I'd love. So first money, and then going into space. Yeah. And then Randy, you know, he. He's good at sex sometimes when he's sober. How often is that, though? It's so rare. Yeah, but it's good when he's sober. I don't know. I mean, I don't know what makes it bad when he's. What makes it bad when he's not. Not sober. Is it. Is he. He's just, you know, he's not engaged. Like, you know, he's, like, watching TV and stuff, or he's eating food. The things we all do when we're drunk. Wow. You know, this really illustrates to us what an unreliable narrator Randy has been on his past appearances. It really is. He's always saying how duplicitous Carissa is and how she cheats on him and how she is manipulating him, and that this casts a whole new light on things. This is really interesting. I mean, it sounds to me like he's a drunk who's not even good at sex. What are you. Oh, hey, Randy. You're back. Yeah. Wait, Karissa. Love. What was your final ranking? So, money first, then space, then I guess silver sex and then love. Right. Okay, now, Randy, you've got the following things, okay? Money, going into space, sex, sober sex and drunk sex. Sober sex slash drunk sash. So, what. What is your order of preference? What do you like Most to least. All right. If I had to pick just one, I'd say going into space. No, not just one. Listen, Randy. Listen, Randy. My fault. All right. Sorry. You got a rank like them. Okay. All right. I would pick going into space. Then I'll pick drunk sex, because you get to eat and watch TV at the same time. Then I would. Then I would pick money, because you could buy whatever food you want or DVDs to watch while you're having drunk. No, we know what money is used for. Yeah. Then I would pick love, because it's beautiful and fleeting. And then I would pick sober sex because it feels good. I mean, we'd have to build this list out because those are top five things. Like, in general, it's hard to break them. Right? Yeah. So they're all maybe tied for first for you. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Well, the Grizz. Why did you ask this an interesting window into their relationship and why they may have the problems that they have? Did that clear it up for you? No. I'm still confused. I'm curious. I didn't mean you, love. I didn't mean you. The Grizz. Are you and Lady Amelia in couples counseling? Is this something that you learned in couples counseling or in therapy of some sort? I am a couple's counselor. You are a couple. We didn't know that about you. The Grizz. You didn't know that about the Grizz? Oh, my God. Hey. I heard you guys was having a big anniversary show. I just thought I'd check in and say. Who the hell is that? Who the hell. My shoes. What the goddamn. What's going on? I killed you. You thought you did, daughter. But nobody beats the Grizz. Dang it. They told me that when I was going up against you, I was. You never saw that T shirt. I was specifically warned on three separate occasions, nobody beats the Grizz. Blessed. That can't be the case. I shot you in the heart and the leg. That's right. But I had a portrait of the queen done on a tin plate that was stuck right in my jacket. And the leg thing was not. It was not fake vital. So you are wounded in the leg? Yeah. It. It. It hurt. It hurt. It's okay. That was. That was. That was tough. That was tough. Well, well. Welcome to the show. Dalton Wilcox. I know you've got a lot of other guests. I was literally just popping in to say hi, happy anniversary, and you can buy my book. Which one? You must buy your wife at least as much Jewelry as you buy your horse, and other poems and observations, humorous and otherwise, from A Life on the Range by Dalton Wilcox. Pick that up anywhere where they're selling books and even some places where they ate. Sure, yeah. What about the sequel book? Oh, the sequel book. Yeah. You still have to buy your wife at least as much jewelry as you buy your horse. And even more poems and additional observations from a life still being lived on the Range by Dalton Wilcox, who wrote the first book. Yeah. And that third one, though. There is a third. Is a third one. I've never seen a cow. No, I've never seen a cowboy eat hummus and. Hang on. Wait a minute. There it is right here. God damn. Wait. No, I've never seen a cowboy eat hummus and other foods the cowboys have also not eaten in my presence. In addition to poems and observations about living life on the range, humorous and otherwise, by Dalton Wilcox. Okay, very good. Well, those are my books. I'm sorry to surprise you with the presence of the Grizz here, but apparently you didn't get the. It's the grace. I'm shocked because I swear to God, I thought I killed. I went all the way to goddamn England to kill this guy. And he. This is a real. This is the real Grizz. This is not the Ghost of Grizmas Past. This is the Grizz. No, I know that because I'm not asleep, but. And I've been, you know, I've been posing as the Grizz. I bet I've been. What I do is I. I find a rag and I soak it in some manure and I stuff it into his shoes. Sure. And I put those shoes on, and then I'm the Grizz. So let's hear a little bit of your Grizz. Maybe we. We could have a grizz off. I bet. Yeah. I've been fooling people left and right. Look here. Here comes the Grizz. I say, oh, what? I'm an English man. And now here I am, a chip chop Cheerio. And it's me, the Grizz. It's too good. It's too good. Which one of us are Said that. Well, now that you know the Grizz is alive, are you going to abdicate the role of the Grizz? Nope. I think we'll carry on as two grizzes. Two grizzes? This is unprecedented. There could be only one. Does the United Kingdom have room for two grizzes? No, it's. Does Lady Amelia's heart have room for two Grizzes is another question. She has four chambers in her heart. Could you each share? Lady Amelia is in love with me. Oh. Byron Dennison as the new suitor. She's already in love with the new suitor. Deeply in love with me. And she's in love with me, the Grizz. Well, she's in love with me, the Grizz. So she's in love with three people. Three different people. She's got a big heart, that girl. She can love everyone in the world, but she can only take one of us into space. It's true. Well, well, well. It seems we've got a Manchester standoff. How are we going to settle this before Sean Anat ascends the stage before Tina Turner? I mean, it seems unlikely we're going to settle it in this episode. Sure. We probably don't want to do it in an anniversary episode. We want. Yeah, there's like six more people waiting to get in. If it's going to be really cool, it should be in a main episode. I'm happy to table people's time. All right, well, tell you what, why don't we. We're about to go to a break. Are any of you leaving? Excuse me. While I disappear. I think. I think. Yeah. I'm going to. I'm going to go ahead and sign off, Scott, just to maintain a little bit of energy while I still have daylight. I understand. Yeah. I'm going to head up to. I'm going to head up to Yosemite. I heard there was a person in trouble. Oh, that would be great. Could you make sure you go through the south gate? I could just a little. Three humans. Three human adult scoots in from the gate by a trash can and a big boulder near a newspaper. But not just gallop in and if you can scoop her off of the ground, that would be. And onto the back of your home. Tremendous. I'm gonna go in the west entrance, and that's a good choice. Honestly. I get it. Yeah. You're going to have a great approach to the park. I'll make you down to the south entrance if you like, but I'm going in the west. Absolutely. I mean. And I. And I wouldn't discourage it. Have a great time. Enjoy that valley of light. Dalton. So great. So great to see you. So long. Byron, are you sticking around or. I think, yes, for a little while longer. Okay. But the Grims, you. You're Gris appearing. You had such a good exit or, or, or Brexit, I guess. Grizz, the Grizz Grexit. Grexit. Okay, Greg, sit. All right, all right. Greg, sit stage left. Randy, what are you doing? Scott, we're off to argue with each other in the backyard. Got it? Okay, understood. I appreciate this. I'll remember every single one of you that sided with Carissa the next time I am on the podcast, okay? Just come up with a new password. No. All right. We have so much more show to get to, but. Manchester Orchestra, are you guys ready to play another song? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. What do you say? Which one is this going to be? Of course. We just heard Bedhead, the first single. And what. What are you going to play here? This one is called Keel Timing. Keel Timing? What. What does that mean? It's up for interpretation. What does it mean to you? No, you. You tell us because you wrote it. I would much rather prefer to hear. No, no. I would much rather you just explain it, because I don't have the kind of time where I, like, sift through your. Your lyrics and pick out clues and shit. Tell me what it is. This is sort of like a Wikipedia thing. I think we just go to Keel and figure out what that means. Oh, okay. All right. All right. Well, you've grabbed your instruments. We're all set to go. Here we go. This is Manchester Orchestra with Keel timing on Comedy. Bang, bang Inside my head Rolling Thunder Inside my head rolling I'm a dog, you're the cops I am rolling now don't let him in your bed the lion don't let him and you die he is lying A little more, a little more he is biting I was folding slowly frozen Changed for you it wasn't right it wasn't it was holy oh, I think I'll start again slowly Help rearrange my head slowly found the woods Then you're the fire in the open I was smoking Red light, glowing flame for you it wasn't mine but it wasn't wrong it was holy so me now no, I will not repeat myself Slow me down no, I will not repeat myself there's something inside my head it's growing there's something inside my chest it's growing A little more a little more it is holy I've been coping slowly sloping changed the truth it wasn't right and it wasn't right it's been holy so love me now no, I will not repeat myself so love me now yeah, I used repeat myself this car Comfort in the constant qu. Now I'm awake and I don't know How? Oh, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. All right, let's go to a break. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. I ask myself, is it a sin to be flexible? That's right. Flexibility. It's not a in. Get out of here, Depeche Mode. Well, flexibility in your workday means you can decide when and where to invest your time. And with stamps.com tedious tasks the TTS of the world like sending certified mail invoices, yawn checks. Who needs them? They can be done on your time, not someone else's. Stamps.com simplifies your postage needs and adds valuable flexibility back into your work workday Seamlessly connect with every major marketplace and shopping cart. If you sell products online, get rates you won't see anywhere else, like up to 88% off USPS. That's almost all. And UPS. Oh, I've been using stamps.com for, you know, over a decade at this point. They're one of our super sponsors. We would mail every single package out using stamps.com it's easy. It's fun. It is fun. Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com Sign up at stamps.com and use code Bang Bang for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts, just go to stamps.com code bang bang. My name is Lily and I've had hydrodinitis suprat HS for years. I finally found some relief since taking Cosentyx. Relief means I can show up more. Cosentix Secukinumab is prescribed for adults with moderate to severe Hidradenitis Suppurativa hs. Don't use if you're allergic to Cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections, some are fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough. Had a vaccine or plan to or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentix or cosentyx.com Ask your dermatologist about Cosentyx. If you've been having your McDonald's sausage McMuffin with an iced coffee from somewhere else, now is a great time to reconsider. In the Pacific Northwest, it's never too cold for an iced coffee in the morning. Grab yourself A medium caramel, French vanilla or classic iced coffee for just $2.29. Warning, beverage may cause craving for McMuffin or hash browns. Prices and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer or combo meal. Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. 12th anniversary episode. So many people left during the break, but we're still here, of course, with Jason Manzoukas. The J Dog is here. And of course, Robert D. Andy from Manchester Orchestra. Still here. The Million Masks of God. A great album people can listen to. Really enjoyed those first two songs that you guys played and I'm expecting that's not going to change with the third that we have at the end of the show. Is that right? Fingers crossed. Yeah. Okay, we'll see. Have you ever written like two songs and then been like, that's about it? I don't think I can write another good one. Yeah, unfortunately, yes, that happens. But we. A lot of people left during the break, but we have someone back here who just joined the Zoom and we were roommates for a little while during the pan. During the demi and we have seen since then. Yeah, during the full disclosure, during the demi. We were roommates. Yeah. I'm calling it Pandy Pandy. I like it. Yeah. Sort of like designer. Pandy. Pandy. Pandy. Pandy. Pandy. Pandy. Pandy. Mindy, please welcome back to the show. I don't know whether he has it previously, but please welcome back Sprague the Whisperer, Scotty the Arcman. How are you, Scott? Doing so good, Sprague. So, I mean, I know I moved out, but I miss you, bud. It's so great. I miss you too. My bud. The Zoox man is here. Look at this guy. Sprague. I'll be honest. I mentioned you earlier at the beginning of the show when people were introduced who had a lot of back exposition and I really needed a previous. What we need was a sprig. The whisper. Previously on Comedy Bang Bang. Well, here's the thing. I don't think Sprague did that. I think that might have been a Rudy north thing. Oh, whoops. You know, just for the fans, you know, Look, I'll say. I will say this character, of course, is of obsessed with canon, so I could see understanding the mix up. My sincerest apologies. That is a Rudy nerd. The CD wiki is going crazy right now. They're constantly trying to update and then delete, then update, then delete. Have you ever heard this previous, Leon? Comedy Bang Bang. It doesn't work. You know what I mean? You have such a weak, feckless voice. It's like a little. I'm like a little. Okay, I don't know about that. Well, Scott, I wanted. I'm. Let me just say, Scott, I am so happy to be here, but I'm. I'm a little bit sad, Scott. Because I know it's the 12th anniversary. Scott. Yeah, we're closing out the 12th year, and we're about to embark upon the 13th. We've done a dozen years and. Scott, I had a gift. I was going to get you a gift, and I couldn't get it. Scott. Oh, no. What did you have for me? So, of course, we all know traditionally the 12th year is the year of the pearl. Scott. Wow. I was hoping for a pearl necklace from you. And yes, Scott, I was going to try to get you some pearls. So first of all, I googled. First thing I did was I was like, are pearls marbles? Because, like, I'm not sure. Such a good marble. Meaning, like marbles, the kids game. Yeah. Like, I remember, I was like, okay, I want to get this guy some pearls. But are they just those. Just marbles, you know? So I looked that up and were there any results? Did you get to the bottom of it? Yes, because it immediately says. It says, we understand why you're asking this question. That's what Yahoo Answers says. Okay. They're very kind. That's what it says. It says, I understand why you're asking this question. And. Well, of course, you know, pearls come from, I guess, the ocean. Yeah. Oyster mouths. Yeah. So I. Okay. So this oyster mouth thing, I had to really. So apparently they collect sand and through the filtering of it, they create this pearl. I. I had a really fun time watching some documentaries about that, Scott. Okay. Just took a while. I watched a few docs, looked up some YouTube videos. There's a lot of time lapse, sort of like descriptions of what it might look like for a pearl deform, but no one really knows. It's such a mystery squad. It's really. Well, sure. Those oysters, they have their. Their mouths closed the whole time, and when they open it back up, there's a. We don't have cameras inside. We don't have an oyster cam. Yeah, we. I think. Wait a minute. Should we figure that out? Should we figure out a noise, by the way? That's. That's a GoPro. That. That's a pornhub search. I have brother and sister in there. And you got. Are we dripping milk right now? Is that. Oh, no, we're talking. We're talking tang. We're talking the tangy brine of the salt water on. I want to know what was happening before. Before I was on this thing because we had the grizz here. All sorts of stuff was going. Oh, the grizz was here. Well, that's. So anyways, I figured out this. This clam thing. So that was one thing. So that took me a couple days, Scott. And then I was like, all right, so I got to get some pearls. So first of all, got to learn how to scuba dive. Oh, sure. I guess if you really want to go from. From farm to table with a pearl. So I went to one of those resorts where they teach you how to scuba dive in the little mini pool, you know, and. And they put the thing on me. I could not stop having a panic attack, Scotty. Oh, yeah. Well, it's tough, you know, I mean, to have a self contained underwater breathing apparatus strapped to you. Yeah, it really is. You know, it's a lot of machinery and was maybe not meant to breathe underwater, I was gonna say, next thing you know, you're underwater where it's like, that's very dangerous and claustrophobic. So right now I'm doing some immersion therapy to figure that out, Scott. But as soon as I figure out how to do that, I'm gonna get you some pills. You don't need to get me anything. But, Scott, it's your 12th anniversary. I just feel like I failed you, Scott. No, Sprague, you could never fail me. As tight as we are, Scotty. I just, you know, I came here empty handed. I don't know what I'm going to do. Scott. You know what it is? You know what I'll do? Maybe I'll come up with a new podcast idea first. I don't know about maybe. I think that might be something. I mean, it could be the gift of the podcast. I do have to say, last week we talked about how I'd never seen Space Jam. I was listening to that, and I want to say there's at least two episodes because this is Space Jam one. Space Jam two. We bring it. Yeah. We bring in. We bring in Langston. Me, you, Langston. We watch the two Space Jams movies. It sounds fun. All right. And we do. And I say we do a pod for every 30 minutes. Let's. All right, look, I'm easy or I'll. You know, if it's Space Jam, you should do a pod for every character. Yes, we do. And just follow their chronology. Yes. What? Their. What their. So why Space Jam. Rashomon. Yeah. So it really. So what? Marvin the Martian's whole experience previous to. And then arriving at the game, so we understand his whole storyline. You know, everybody. Because, you know, I heard in this next one, there's going to be like hundreds of characters from the Warner Brothers ip. So we could do episodes from the perspective of the guys from A Clockwork Orange, you know, or Voldemort. Or Voldemort. There's a lot of really weird people in the crowd. If you look at the. Yeah. Or what about Ellen DeGeneres? From her show? Sure. She tapes on the Warner Brothers lot. She does. Wait a minute. That's good. They could pop out. Okay. She just yell at all the basketball players. OK, here's what we do, Scott. We're writing Space Jam 3, which is the Space Jam. Rashomon. So we've got a Space Jam 3. Rashomon Ninja. Rashomon Ninja. And we have to go back and follow every character so we can figure out the timeline. So we can sort of do an end game. Sort of like time travel back into, like, this was when Lola Bunny was backstage. And then. Is it like a multiverse? I think we're doing a multiverse right now. I think we're figuring it out. This is. This is a space. So you're suggesting Space Jam is a multiverse? Yes, I'm calling it the Jammiverse. Okay. Anointed at the Jammiverse are the characters from the. The Back in Action verse there. Because, you know, famously, I wrote one joke in Looney Tunes Back in Action, so. Well, we could bring those in, Scott. We can bring in all the versions of the experience here. We can do it. We can do it all. Scott, this is great. I think this is. All right. Well, Sprague, this is a good idea. I'm glad to have it, Jason. As long as we all are in agreement that Pepe. The Pepe Le Pew is out. No, he is. Actually. What we do is we do an episode where we say we want to talk about this. The significance of Pepe Le Pew in this movie. And then we do two hours of sleep. Silence. Okay, great. That sounds. With maybe like in the middle. We do like a Four Hymns commercial or something. Can you do two hours of silence? I'm not quite sure. No, Scott, I would have to mute. That is John Cage's podcast. Oh, yeah, that's someone else's pod. That's. Oh, yes. I can't. Well, sprag it. This is a. You have a deal. If we can get Langston Langston's very busy, though, so I did come with a gift. This is great. Okay. Yeah. A brand new podcast idea. I got a brand new pod. He's got. That's Rudy, too. Oh, no. Cbb. Wiki's going crazy. Check, check. Sound speeds. Sound speeds, check. I know. I know who this is. Hello? What's happening here? It's working. Scott, who is it? Is this Gino? Yes, this is Gino Lombardo. I received. You seem so far away. I am. I'm all the way out in Heckscher State park at the end of Southern State Parkway, almost in Suffolk. I don't know where the he's train. Is that what the setup he wants? How do you get that by train? How do you get that by. Is that what you're. Southern State Parkway is a highway. You get to use a car. Jesus Christ. What are you? Comedy Bang bang listener on any social media platform. Any other reference to this character is fine. Hello? Scott, I'm at a CIA black site. I'm sorry I had to call you. What? I'm being deprogrammed. What happened to you? Obviously, the last we've heard of you is in your own show, the Gina Lombardo Show. There was a really funny final episode that a great guy guest starred on. Yeah, that's right. I didn't know it was gonna be the season finale, but you guessed it, on the last episode of season two. And things got a little hairy. I gained too much clout. I touched the live wire, that is the right wing comedy fans. I got a taste of the juice of the success and the money, and I couldn't get away from it. And shit fucking spiraled. I had fucking Scaramouch on the pod. That was fun. Then I get Jordan Peterson. Next thing I know, My Patreon's got 20 doll, 25,000 subscribers, and I'm trying to come up with hot takes about how kids need to get shot and shit, and I don't even know Scott. I'm in too deep, man. The money is still good. Hold on, Devin. We should get this clean so we could put it in before. Previously on the Gino Lombardo podcast. No, your voice, your voice is too. It's feckless. I can't do it. Also, isn't that Rudy's thing? It is, but I just do feel like that was a pretty good previously. We got what we needed. So what is happening right now? Right now? Well, I don't want to get into too many details, but the CIA is deprogramming me and I'M sorry, I'm a little fuzzy. It's day one after my shot, so I'm being a little fuzzy. Wait, you're just day one on your deprogramming? No, no. They are shooting me up every day with assorted. I got saltpeta yesterday and then truth serum today and then lying serum two days ago. I don't know. It was distilled screenplay pages from Jim Carrey's Liar Liar. They fig it out and distill figured it out. They've been in the lab? Not exactly. They cracked the Liar Liar code. My goodness. I mean, Gino, this is. I mean, I'm scared for you, my bro. You should be. Are you on the run right now? I. I wish I was on the run. They got me in a above ground pool filled with cement up to my waist, so I'm stuck. I'm like a centaur where the bottom half of ground pool filled with cement. How do you do number ones and number twos? I'm not positive. Okay. Just every once in a while, the above ground pool expands slightly. I feel the sensation. Like, it feels like I'm urinating and shitting, but I don't. I don't feel the relief. It's kind of like. Wait, Gino, like a crack, like in an earthquake or something. You're building up a lot of pressure there. I'm scared for you, Geno. Well, Geno, we need you out of there so you can finally go back to your own show so you can clear up all of your canon, so then you can come back to this show and it's not weird. Wouldn't that be perfect? Well, if only. If only. All the things that have happened to me have been previously recorded. We could output it in a very easy to listen to series for Stitcher Premium. We could do a third season of Gino Lombardo on Stitcher Premium explaining what's happened to me in my interim, which would allow me to just come back to a podcast that's easy to track down. Yeah. And we wouldn't have to go through it all this. Oh, my God. Yeah, no more. But unfortunately, that's not the case. That's not the case. That is the case. Sports dudes were great sports dudes. I'm a huge fan. I was able to get those guys in the CIA black site. We have stitch agreement here. The CIA was one of the few people to figure it out. They love the interface. Yeah, well, they're always on Reddit saying the interface is great. Look, Gino, thank you so much for Being on, I mean, and making some time for us. I really, really appreciate it. Okay. Oh, shit. All right, I have to go. Hopefully there's some way I'm able to release a third season of the Gino Lombardo show that would premiere sometime in what you are calling Earth summer. Okay, hopefully we'll see you out there. Thank you, Geno. Bye. We might need to get that guy at canon rehab, Scott, because he's odig over there. Well, wow, an incredible dude. This is just a star studded episode. Andy and Robert, what do you think about all that? I'm blown away. These guys, like I said before, these guys are. These guys are monopolizing too much of the episode. Yeah, guys, cut it down. Just sitting in amazement, slowly crying. All right, well, we do need to get to our next guest. They are coming on together and this is interesting. I guess they're from the world of sports, but I'm not quite sure this is the first time they've ever been on the show. Or maybe they have, I don't quite know. All I have is their names here. But please welcome to the show Charles Barkley and Rabbi Bill Walton. Shalom, Scott. Hey, Shalom, Scott Aukerman. Scott, thank you for having me. I sure do appreciate it. Scott. I tell you, I don't really do too many, you know, podcasticles and things like that. And I just, I just want to say thank you. I'm here with my friends, so really, truly. Now, you asked me to pronounce your name Charles Barkley. Charles Barkley. Yes, Charles Barkley. Well, I'm going to let my friend Bill tell you why. Well, first of all, Scott, happy to be on Comedy Bang Bang with some of my favorite sprig, the whisperer. One of the great whisperers of all time from love, this guy's enemy, One of the Yin Yang twins to the eye. Mother of the Yin Yang twins. Wow. He runs the gamut. Wow. Not to mention Manchester Orchestra, one of the great orchestras of all time. From unknown mortal to the Hollywood. There we go. Do you need more help than previous appearances with completing your analogies? Oh, I. I made it. I made it. Sometimes you just gotta, you know, kill a little time with uhs and ums. It's the classic announcer's trick. Yeah. Have you been on the show before or are you new? I've been on the show before, Scott. Oh, but not in this capacity. Carls and I. And by the way, Jason Mantzoukas, one of the great Jason's of all time from the purveyor of A deli. Jason's Deli. Down the street from me on Oracle Road in Tucson, Arizona. To Jason Voorhees. Voorhees Voorhees. One of the great murderers of all time. Of course. Of course. Prolific murderer. You forgot to mention the Electric Light Orchestra. Thank you. Thank you, Carl. I am Mr. Blue Guy. Cause I forgot that, and I am sad I missed it. Do you think they're saying Mr. Blue Guy? Yes. Hey, Mr. Blue Guy. Please tell us why you had to hide right away. You're so sad. All right, but Charles and I are here. Yeah, tell us, what is your deal? Because I don't. I'm not quite grasping what. What, you guys are. Yeah. Are you guys Jewish now? We're Jewish, thank you. And we're doing what we do for every podcast when it reaches its 12th or 13th year, the bar, or bat mitzvah, or as we call it for this one, the Scot mitzvah. Happy Scots Mitzvah. I see. This is a rite of passage, Scott. Mitzvah. Thank you. Allow me to explain, Scott. So your podcast is a man now? No, we thank you, Charles. I think Bill, actually, Rabbi Bill Rather explained it to me. Wait a minute. I have a question, Charles. I didn't know you were Charles. Like, holobred. When did you convert? I didn't know this was a part of your personality, Charles. I'm glad you asked. Spray goo now. Okay. How do you like that, too? I converted not too long ago. I was in Miami, and I was looking for a place that could serve matzo ball soup because I had Covid, and I heard that that was the best fud. And so I walked to this place and I looked at all the teachings that they had on the menu, and. Wait, you went right to the source of where the matzo ball soup is not a race. I'm gonna do this here. Okay. And that's exactly what I did. I'm a Judas now. Okay. Wow. And then Rabbi Bill, I didn't realize you were a rabbi. I didn't even realize you were part of the tribe. I became rabbinically ordained when I realized so many podcasts were entering into their manhood or womanhood year, and they needed to be welcomed into it. Yeah. Are you going to be on wtf? Yes. I did a bar motto. I did a bar Marxva, Wendy's 13th year. And we got into it, and I wept. I wept. The beauty of the occasion. And Charles joined me on that. Of course, we do duel, because we're each kind of half Jewish. What we know about the religion and put together. We're one full Jew. I was there. I said, mark, every time I listen to your show, you talk so much about them damn cats at the beginning of the show. And I just wanna hear. I just wanna hear the comedians come on and talk about his life. I want to hear what David Tail got to say. I don't care about them damn cats, Mark. I want to hear what President Obama got to say. Charles Barkley stole Boomer. We were in there. Carl stole Boomer and ran off with them. Yes. Oh, Carl's. I took that cat. I took that cat and I took him right to the zoo because that's what cats belong. That's not where cats belong. Cats belong at the zoo. Domesticated animals, cats. You know, some cats do belong in the zoo. That's something like big cats. Yeah. But I would think if you brought a house cat to the zoo and let it loose, that is essentially feeding that cat larger predator. With someone as big as Charles Barkley, it's like any cat's just like, yeah, panther. That's like a house cat to me. I'm a big guy, so I understand the confusion. That's exactly why I took the cat. I took the cat right to the panther den, and I walked right in the panther den. I said, listen here, now, this cat is gonna live with y'all, so feed it right and, you know, do what you got to do. I don't know what y'all eat. Birds, turtles, something like that. Oh, so Boomer's gone. Boomer's definitely not living. Probably is with the pants. Communicates with animals is incredible. Carl's head away with the panthers that I've never seen. Are you guys. When you do this, are you going to the zoo? Like, off hours? Like, are the gates. Gate's locked. I just stepped right over the gate. Me and Bill just stepped right over. Zoos are not protected against basketball players. That's the one. They're one weakness. Yeah. Every zoo disappearance you've ever heard of was actually a basketball player theft all through history, from the great snake of the Brooklyn Zoo to, of course, the murder of Harambe. Rest in Peace was Kill the Host by Bill Russell. Bill Russell. Whoa. What huge reveal. Whoa. Bill Russell shot that gorilla. Oh, my God. Wow. Well, guys, I'm seeing someone else just came on the Zoom. I hope you don't mind if I introduce her. I don't know anything about this person other than they are an actor. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Charlotte Hornet. Hi, Scott Hi. Hey. So nice to meet you. This is Sprague, the Whisperer. I'm Sprague, super producer, of course. Break the whispers. Awesome. This is Jason Manzoukas, who you may remember from the Dictator. It's nice to meet you, Charlotte. Did you ever see the Dictator? I was in a movie called the Dictator. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is it spelled the same way it was spelled? D, I, C, K, T, A, T, E, R. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm gonna have to maybe get off. I don't know if I can be around for this. Scott, this is going to get crazy. Wait, what do you. You just get off when things get crazy? Here's the thing. Right now, I'm in sort of a Sex Addicts Anonymous right now, and if this could be triggering me. Scott, there's something I haven't talked to you about, but I don't want to get. Maybe you were a sex addict the entire time we were roommates. I never heard you, you know, getting down or anything like that. Canonically, that might be the case. Okay. Okay. I don't. I don't want the producer to leave. I feel like the producer should be here. Want to audition for your podcast? Stick around, Sprague. Okay. Stick around. Okay. No problem. Oh, yeah. This is an audition to be on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was. I feel like. I feel like we should have that more often, honestly. Okay. A little quality control, you know, a little qc. This is Manchester Orchestra, by the way. This is a Robert and Andy. They're a band called Manchester Orchestra. Very nice to meet you. Amazing. Amazing. That's awesome. Then we have Rabbi Bill Walton. And we have Harls Barkley. Hello. How you doing? Okay. Harls. I'm great. Harls. Is this. This is not the actual Harls or is this a different Harls? I think we figured out that it is. These are the people. They've just changed their names because of their conversion to Judaism. Becoming Jewish does not make you not a person anymore, Charlotte. I wanna state that loud and clear. We are two full peoples. We are two full Judaist peoples. You're one Jewish man and one non Jewish man put together. Yes. Yes. Standing on top of each other's shoulders, trying to get into a film wearing an enormous trench coat like all rabbis do. Okay. Yeah. This is amazing. This is so awesome to be here. I'm so excited to be here. Well, welcome. Yeah. You wanted to audition? How can we audition? Yeah. Did you want me to slate? Yeah, please. Okay. My age, my sex and my location. Oh, I didn't realize that people slated their locations. That's like a AOL chat room thing. Age? Age. I am 31 years old. Sex. Yes. And love. What? Sex. Sex. Yeah. Well, what do you think I am, Scott? Let's play. What do you. There are a lot of guests on the show that I say the wrong thing and I. I. You know, from Entre P? Nour, who to? To judge O. Brown. I don't know who any of those people are, so never heard of him. 31 is too old for a lady to be on TV. You get 3 for a lady. To be honest, Carls, that was a crazy take there. Wow. What? What's so crazy about that? Did you see a 31 year old lady on TV? And all this high death and 4K, all the wrinkles and things. Okay, well, we got to let it slip. Okay, Scott, you get four guesses to guess what my sex is, I would imagine. I mean, your name. Charlotte. I would imagine you're a female, but I don't know. Wrong. Keep going. Male. No, keep going. Okay. Do you want me to just tell you? I go to get it. I go to guess. Okay. Okay. Sprague. Doggy style. No, my favorite position is CEO. Okay. Anyway. Anyway. Got served over here any fucking way. I'm actually highly experienced in sex, so. Oh, okay. I don't know that that's gonna come in handy on this show, but. Comedy Bang Bang. It's not a porno podcast. Wait, you think this is a porno podcast? The name would suggest it's a porno podcast, Scott. Well, sure, when you have people on, like Dirty Man. Jason Mantzoukas. I understand the mistake. You do? How dare you, Sprague. I was about to. Man Zoukas. Do you fuck, Charlotte? Do you fuck? Not in quite some time. He's talking Tang all the time. Talking Tang? Yes. And I can understand Comedy Bang Bang. The title might give you the perspective. It's a funny porno, right? Yeah. You know what? Has there ever been a porn parody of Comedy Bang Bang? I don't think there has. I don't think it was popular enough on television. So. So I. That's too bad. I feel like. Challenged me. I feel like. I feel like the producer spray could literally check right now. This is something a producer would do. He's not the producer of this show necessarily. He's a producer. Ninja Films. Hey, Scott. Scott. Can we start that podcast, me and you? Are you. Are you talking tang to me? Unfortunately, talking Tang is been reserved from Jason Manzoukas, but Talking Tang and Drip Dripping Milk is my podcast. This is my kind of podcast. Talking Tang and Dripping Milk. I guess. Charlotte, here's the question. What did you expect to do on sort of an audio pod, audio porn podcast? Is it like. Yeah. Is it like faking an orgasm like in When Harry Met Sally or Girlfriend Experience? Was that a porn When Harry Met Sally? I don't know that part. I guess the title. It kind of sounds like a porn. I mean, the faking of the orgasm was. Was. Was porn. That was the one pornographic part. I'm sure there is a porn version of When Harry Met Sally. You know, again, I feel like this is. I would love to see Billy Crystal naked. Look, here's the thing. You know, this is my work computer. You know, I can't. I feel like we could easily check anybody. There's so many people on this podcast right now. I feel like anybody right now could get on a window and check. Is there a porno for Harry? Just open the window and check. Know that we can. Well, did you want to audition? Yes, Scott. What do you want me to do, Scotty? Oh, I don't know if I could be around for this score. This is getting. I'm sorry, Sprague, but I'm. Here's what. I'm going to keep it. Here's what I think would be a good version of the audition is. Is you should. The. The character that you would play would arrive with a funny, specific, bizarre point of view that would be introduced before any kind of sex happens. So there would be. So the. The audition, I suspect, would have to do with that. That character's unique. This is a lasting class in auditioning for anything. You must come in with a specific point of view. Don't just say the lines have a point of view for your character. That's interesting to the people watching. Thank you, Rabbi. Bill, welcome. Okay. Amazing. Rabbi, I didn't realize you auditioned for things, Bill. I thought you were offer only. Yes, I auditioned for My Giant. I auditioned for the Billy Crystal role. We might need you guys for Space Jam, the sequel we're writing. I was in the first one. Oh, yes. Okay. Bill, if you were in My Giant, they would have had to pick an even more giant person. So is that why you didn't get the part? Well, no, it's because I refuse to let anyone stand near me on an apple box. Oh, okay. Okay. I was also in an episode of hang with Mr. Cooper. Yeah. Please start your audition. Chip, Charlotte Hornet. So interesting point of view. We haven't also, we haven't said my location. We know where I am. Hollywood, baby. Okay, so I thought you would be in Charlotte, home of the Charlotte Hornet. No, no, Hornet is my last name. It's a pure coincidence. And also, this isn't my government name. I thought this was a porno. That's my porn name. Charlotte Hornet. Oh, oh, okay. I. My real name is Charlotte Sims. So. Yeah, but. Oh, are you one of the Sims? Are you one of the famous Sims, like the video game? No, Scott, that's a bad joke actually. Really? Maybe she gets comedy and maybe could just. Comedy. I like people from Pokemon on this show. I'm here to do a funny porno. Is everybody ready? All right, I'm ready. Yeah, go ahead. Okay, point of view is that I walk in, I'm a plumber, but my pants aren't low waisted. I'm wearing high waisted jeans and have a belt on, so no ass crack. Okay, so walk in. Who wants to play with me in this? I don't know. I'm happy to. Charles. I think Charles is. Everybody on this podcast is made. Anybody want to play with me? I said. Y'all said me. I already said it was guy. Good cuck at. Okay. Okay. Chuck. Chuck, it's me and you. All right? Chuck, it's me and you. You called me your house cuck. Cuck Barkley. Cuck Barkley. Got it. Okay. All right. So cuck you cuck. I. I come in. Please stop saying that. Stop it. Stop it. What is this, an SNL sketch? Several months ago. This is. By the way, Scott, this is a successful audition. This is how you get on comedy cracking up right now. This is a good character. You're cracking up. Did you say? Okay, great, I'm ready. Okay. Okay. So you called me over because your toilet is clogged. Okay. And I am a plumber with high waisted jeans on and a belt. You initiate and I'll go from there. All right. Excuse me, Mr. Plumber. I took a big old massive dookie in the toilet and I didn't have no toilet paper. And so I used the old piece of T shirt that I had lying around, but I forgot that was. I'm sorry, you had a piece of T shirt laying around. Just one piece? Yeah. Sometimes I like to rip the T shirt with it too tight around my neck. I rip it down the front a little bit and I take a nice little V out and I have one laying around. You could just buy V neck T shirts. Carls. Hold on. You not in the scene? Sorry, sorry. I thought it was your roommate. Oh, you live with me. Sure. Okay, well, this is my roommate. I'm like a freeloading part of your plastic. Well, okay, Scott, you can show us without telling us. And that's improv. And that's actually improv. Yeah. So show us a lot about improv. She's very good at this because she actually studied. I actually study at Far Right Citizens Brigade, the porn parody of that Upright. You got a question here? Wait, we got a question. What do you. I just had an update. I did look for the Harry Met Sally. Oh, what do we got? Harry eight Sally. Oh, that's pretty cool. Doesn't rhyme with Matt. So that's, you know, points off for that. It should be. It should. Harry ate Sally's ass for the Millennials. What about. What about why is seven afraid of nine? Seven, eight, nine, something. Right, right, right. Or it could have been like, Harry put his meat on Sally. That's right. I got to say, Charlotte, you are hilarious. And also very good at sex. I will say this. I don't know that Charlotte even needs to audition. She's like, as far as I'm concerned, she's got the job. I think I've got the. If you've got the job. But let's just hear a little bit of the scene with you and Carlton. I was. All right. Back in red leather, yellow leather. Okay. All right, Here it goes. Okay. All right. So I was taking a big old stanky dookie, and I used a piece of a T shirt. You did tell me that already. And then this is my roommate. His name is Scott Aukerman. You may remember him from Just Shoot Me. And he's one of my favorite. A very horny photography student, one of my favorite actors. And. And he lives with me now. Cause he's fallen on hard times. And I took him in. Cause I'm a nice guy. At what point do I get to chime in? Oh, I thought you wanted me to. I'm sorry. Please, go ahead. Will you take a look at my toilet? This is the whole initiative. Carl's is not a very generous. Will you take a look at my toilet? Will you please take a look at my toilet? I would love to take a look at your toilet. Will you come with me? Yeah, come on. It's right in her sprig, by the way. Got so horny, he left the zoom. He said it was too much for him. And that's the power of acting, okay? Oh, my God. So I'M Someone's in here. Someone's in here. Oh, shit. That's my other roommate, Bill Walton. Come back and look at. See if you can see out back. I got the septic tank. I pulled it up out the ground, so. But why is he. Okay, I have so many questions. Why is he announcing someone's in there as though he's using the bathroom if the toilet is totally clogged? That's right. Bill likes to take baths. And he's probably taking a nice salt. Epsom. Salt. Epsom salt bath in a shit up bathroom. Okay, got it. He likes to poop like Tetris, where he's, like, fitting in between the stuff that's already there, you know, you all know so much about my bathroom habits. Thank you. Okay. All right. What you need me to do now? I'm gonna have you turn around, Mr. Carl Barkley. And I'm gonna. I'm gon. It's cuck with the H in there. Yeah, Barkley. He's a Jewish cuck. Oh, God. We have gone off the rails. Retired train style. I. There were. Speaking of rails, sir, I'm gonna need you to turn around. Okay? I don't get to participate? All right, what's going on? Okay, I'm speaking. I'm turning around. What y'all about to do? Yeah, who did you want to turn around? Both of us. I want everyone to turn around. Okay, we're turned around. All right. We have our backs to you. I guess Bill Walton has his front to the toilet now. Bill, I would really appreciate it. Bill, I would really appreciate if you put clothes on right now. I know what you think this is. You think you're gonna run a train, but you're not. Cause I'm the conductor. So you're gonna have to exit the bathroom. Bill. Wow. One of the great dominations I've ever experienced. I will sub for you any day, Charlotte Hornet. Tell me what to do. Step on me. I'll kiss your feet, whatever you ask. No, I actually want you to leave. This is not. Yes, you want me to leave? Yes. Yes, ma'am. No. No, Bill, this isn't a sex thing. I need you to leave. Oh, baby. I'm out of here. Thank you so much. Bam. I was cooking some andouille sausage on the stove. Can I go check on it? Sure. All right. See you, Charl. I'll take care of the plumber. Don't worry. Okay. Okay. Hi, man. Okay. Hi, Scott. Your belt is so high. And it's. It's on the last loop as well, that was a detail I didn't see. So you want to get out of here? Yeah, let's get out of here. Step into my car. It's a pizza delivery. Oh, yes. I was. I was just making some andouille sausage to put on this pizza because I don't. Charles, you can order it with pizza now. I don't. I don't like the sausage place. I have a. I have a sausage pizza minus the sausage. Yeah, I don't like the. I don't like the. I don't like the sausage that y'all got down that pizza place. It's nasty. I. I like to cook my own andouille. I put it over there. I make a cage of pizza. Can we have two pieces in the car? Okay. Your car sounds like a motorcycle, first of all. Yeah, it's specialty made. No, this is a motorcycle. There are no doors. It's not specialty made. Why you got to blow up my spot like this? This is a motorcycle and there's one seat. And I'm not getting in here with you. I'm gonna. One of the guys in this house. Come on. But you gonna have to wait till about 30 minutes after I eat this pizza because I got to eat these. I gotta take these antacids. Antac. We. I'm so sorry that we were unable to put lactaid on the pizza. What? Y'all always getting something wrong down there and every time. Why did y'all bring me a salad? I asked for the salad. Y'all always got too many ingredients on the salad. Yeah, we use anything that's left over. Anything that's about to go bad, we just put it in and call it a salad. Y'all put them big old peppers on a salad. Do any of you assholes care that there is a plumber with a high waisted jeans and a 6 inch waist in your house right now? Ready to fuck. We gonna pay you. God damn it. We gonna give you the money. You ain't fixed the goddamn toilet yet. You told me we can't fucking tell. The toilet. Toilet's fixed. I was just going to ask, like, do you have a restroom I can use? No, pizza man. You can come with me to the bathroom. Okay, Okay. I would love to. All right. Give me that pizza first. And scene. Whoa. Thank you so much. Comedy. That's the. Did I book it? I think you booked it. Yeah. You're on the show. We're not going to react to this. Am I a series regular on Come Comedy Bang Bang? You certainly probably recurring. I Can join in now. So this is a porn podcast after all. Because everyone seemed to know what the fuck they were doing. Yeah, we were very, very adept at our scene there. Yeah. Wow. Well, that, you know, Sprague got too horny. He had to leave. And we are just about running out of time here, guys. We need to wrap it up. But we do have one final feature if you guys are willing to participate, and that is, of course, a little something called Plugs and Boys, because we got the flagship. Ooh, baby. That was The Plug Habit 2 in Too Deep by Quiet Wyatt. Thank you so much. To Quiet Wyatt. That was incredible. Manchester Orchestra. You ever gonna make me a plugs theme or what's going on? You guys are. Make these professional songs and you put out records and you never make me a plug theme. We'll do it. We'll put it on the Wikipedia and we'll make sure the Wikipedia. I'm still waiting for a song about Hang man, you know. Yeah, no one's ever read that. Or the Dink Dink man. Or the Chronicles of the Dink Dink. Yeah, Rock opera, you know, like. Challenge accepted, gentlemen. Thank you. What else are you doing during company? You. You made this album a year ago and then have not written a single rock opera since then. I mean, you. Apparently, you guys consider God Mask more important than the Chronicles of the Ding Ding. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with Manchester Orchestra. Well, guys, what are you plugging? Obviously you have the Million Masks of God, which just came out on Friday, and people are able to buy it. And where do you. If people were to buy it, can they buy it from your website or would you prefer they do it in stores? What do you got? Yeah, they can buy it at our website, themanchesterorchestra.com do you abdicate all this information to Robert? Is that what happens here? Because whenever it's business stuff, I dropped out. Your party in the back, Robert, your business in the front. Okay. Well, I was conflicted because I also want to say support indie retail. That's also important. Go to the store. Go to your local record store and pick it up. And we've been doing signings for different record stores across the country, so. Very cool. Are you going to be out here in LA at any point doing Amoeba Records or anything like that? I hope so. It's all been, as, you know, zoom performances and stuff like that, so it'd be nice to eventually get in front of some people. Can. Yes. In terms of supporting local stores and Local record stores, but also to get it on your website. That's like truly supporting you guys, right? Like, that's the best way to support you, the band. That is correct. Yes, it is. One of each. One of each, yeah. Buy. Buy one in an indie record store. Buy one from your website, Buy one from the Virgin Megastore, you know, and then just stream it on Spotify. And put those in the basement. No. You know, I heard that Megastore got laid. Oh, whoa. Megastore Fox. Throw it down. Jason Manthoukas with the big joke to close out the podcast Clutch one more time. Clutch. Well, thank you, Manchester Orchestra. And you're going to play one last song for us at the end. But before we do that, Jason, you got anything to plug? I'll plug my podcast with Paul Shear and June Diane Rayfield called How did this Get Made? Which is also right here on the Earwolf Network. And also I voice one of the characters on the animated show on Amazon called Invincible. Yes, very good. Based on the Robert Kirkman comic book. It's really fun. Another friend of the show, everybody to check it out. Yes, our good friend Robert Kirkman. Bobby Kirks. Bobby Kirks, as we call him all the time. That's a great show. Invincible. You can get that on Amazon. All right, let's see. Rabbi Bill Walton. What do you got to plug here? I suppose I would rather have my hands be lit on fire than be lowered into a tub of ice water. That's right. This is not. Would you rather. Unfortunately. Oh, excuse me. You always get that wrong. My favorite part of getting it wrong is the moment where you have literally no idea what's going on. I've caught on. This your fourth time? I've finally caught on to what's going on. But of course, you're a fan of certain podcasts. I know. Go to biggrandewebsite.com to see the group Big Grande's podcasts. You could get limited edition podcast directly from the group, much like buying records directly from the band. Or you can go to patreon.com you're the man now, dog, for an improvident conversation podcast. Wonderful. All right, Charles Barkley, what do you have to plug here? Yeah, I want. I want to talk about that pizza place that came by the house. Okay, stop putting those big, big ass peppers on the pizza because they only good sometimes. But also, how are they to know which times they're good and which times you don't like them? Though it depends on what type of dressing they use. Italian dressing's pretty good at ranch. Those are two I like. All right. Other than that, go to patreon.com the flagrant ones. That's basketball podcast, and they got some other stuff on there too, so listen to that. Listen to that. Yeah. All right, Very good. And Charlotte Hornet, what do you have to plug here? Okay, well, not too much. I'm gonna be a series regular on Comedy Bang Bang. Okay. Porno podcast. Moving forward. I guess we're going from humanity's podcast into the porno podcast. Yeah, I'm in now, Scott. Yeah. And that. I'll beat you to this. Scott. It's my second time meeting you. Perhaps people could watch a comedy program that comes on late Saturdays. It's called Saturday Night Live, but Scott has said it should be potentially called Sunday. Two thirds of it is on Sunday morning, which is Sunday morning Live. It's bad advertising. It should be one third Saturday night. Two thirds Saturday morning live. Right. Sunday morning, Sunday morning. That should be the whole time. That should be the whole. What it should just be is Saturday into Sunday Night morning live. Or like, hey, thanks for watching live or. Yeah, just like the. The only two real days of the weekend live. Whatever you mean. That's right. We could pitch if you want to kind of or like, only virgins watch this show because everyone else is out fucking. How about Sunday Night Live? But everyone who might be on the show is definitely fucking as well. Okay, well, that's good to know. I am. Whoa. This just in cast of Saturday Night Live is having sex with people. Wow. Well, I want to plug threedom is my other podcast that I do with Paul F. Tompkins and Lauren Lapkis that comes out on Thursdays. That's just the three of us sitting around and talking and playing games. That's fun. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. My friends Ben and Horatio, do you guys want to try something? Do you guys want to maybe try to sing something? Here, open it. When you see something open, get a rope up and start to twist and you find. Find that you're getting a little. I miss you. Think you're crying and you know what to do. Get up in there and do what you do. You got to open up a bag. Open it up. Open up the bag, Turn up the clothing. Make sure you got eyes again. And don't mess around with it. Make sure you don't. Don't mess around. Don't mess around with. Don't. Make sure you don't mess around. I see you dancing at the fiscal deck wow, that was exceptional. That was. Why can't we plug Friends by Chicken Pluggits? That was great. Thank you so much to Chicken Pluggits for that. And, guys, I want to thank you so much. Jason, so great to have you on. I appreciate you. Thanks so much. Congratulations. Happy anniversary. Of course. And Charles and Rabbi Bill. I don't know whether we ever really solidified what your deal was, but I appreciate you being here. Oh, we'll be back. Okay, great. And, you know, thanks to our previous guests as well, we have the Grizz and of course, Byron Denniston and Sprague and Marjorie and Randy and Carissa. I don't think I'm forgetting anyone. Dalton Wilcox. Dalton Wilcox, of course. And I want to thank our new friend. We have Charlotte Hornet here. Thank you so much for being. Hi. Thanks so much. Oh, so you're pretty late to say hi. Thank you, though. Appreciate it. And the very last thing we have to do here is Manchester Orchestra. Are you guys ready to play another song? We are. Thank you so much for having us. This has been amazing. It's our pleasure to have you. One of my favorite bands. Thank you so much. And what is this song that you're about to play here? This one is called Telepath. Telepath. Is this about someone you know, a relative, or. Or it's about three generations of sort of the same couple. Okay. Oh, interesting. All right. Got a. I'm not sure if that was the serious answer or pulling my leg. No, that was actually me serious there. Sorry about that. Okay. No, that's all right. People can be. Everyone has been deadly serious on this episode. All right, let's hear it. You guys have your instruments? Okay, great. Here we go. This is Manchester orchestra with telepath. 1, 2, 3, 4. In my mind you are an old empty apartment Sitting on your mother's table Next to you is her Carving out our names into each piece of wood and concrete Told her I don't have a lot Baby, you can have my soul Baby, do you want me? Baby, do you want me? Baby, do you want me? No, no, no. Within your mind this is a new and glorious morning. You ain't never gonna let nobody take that light again. Everyone I know is slowly falling in the ocean I don't want to be the next to row I never learn to swim Baby, do you love me? Baby, do you love me? Baby, do you love me? No, no, no. In my mind you are the road I chose to travel Might as well have been the very last thing I decide half the time I'm lost afraid to just borrow don't matter much to me man I'm not afraid baby are you with me? Do you forgive me? You're the one I want you want now what When I'm old baby are you with me? Do you forgive me? You're the one I wanted one now I when I'm old when I'm falling when I'm falling oh wonderful wonderful amazing guys. Thank you so much for being here. We'll see you next week for the beginning of our 13th year. We'll see you next time. Thanks Bye to all the HBCU students making moves. Listen up. For over 20 years, McDonald's has been at the side of college hopefuls. And with over a million in funding this year through the Black and Positively Golden Scholarship, Mickey D's is helping HBCU students rise and flourish into their graduating roles this scholarship season. Get ready to take your place when you apply for a McDonald's Black and Positively Golden Scholarship. Visit mcdblackscholars.com to apply now. Applications close on April 25, 2025. What's Poppin listeners? I'm Lacy Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all. Oh, you know they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole byer, Ira Madison III, Conan O'Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts. Psoriatic arthritis symptoms can be unpredictable. I had joint pain and I couldn't move like I used to. I needed relief. I got Cosentyx. It helped me move better. Cosentis Secukinumab is prescribed for people 2 years of age and older with active psoriatic arthritis. 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