Bonus Bang: Love Is Truck (Flula Borg, Shaun Diston, Lily Sullivan)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: Bonus Bang – Love Is Truck

Podcast: Comedy Bang Bang
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests/Characters:

• Flula Borg (actor, comedian, DJ, guest as himself)
• Shaun Diston as Sprague the Whisperer (manager/producer, co-host of Scott Hasn’t Seen)
• Lily Sullivan as Kayla Dickey (“the woman who stands by her big truck driving man”)
  Date: May 7, 2026
  Original Release: (Episode 829, September 10, 2023)
  Episode Theme: A surreal, rapid-fire, absurdist “interview” show featuring recurring characters, guest banter, over-the-top reality show parodies, and a deep dive into the obsessions of Kayla Dickey—all wrapped in signature Comedy Bang Bang chaos.

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode is a replay from the “A Quickie with Kayla Dickey” miniseries, focusing on Lily Sullivan’s character Kayla Dickey and her adventures in love, trucks, and reality television. Alongside Scott and recurring guests Flula Borg and Shaun Diston, the trio lampoons pop culture, the entertainment business, and the conventions of reality dating shows with quick-witted, meta-improv.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Flula’s Return and Podcast Premise

[03:10-18:28]

• Flula returns for his fourth appearance, revealing updates about his life, and riffing with Scott in a uniquely Flula/Scott dynamic.
• Flula’s Defunct TV Show:
  • “Flula Makes Five” was meant to be a sitcom but due to a production mishap (left lens caps on the cameras), only audio was captured—forcing it to become a podcast.
  • Flula describes the show’s premise: a family of four buys a house, not realizing Flula, a German techno DJ, has a 99-year lease to the basement (“Flula Makes Five”).
  • Discussion of TV and podcasting during the strike, SAG actors podcasting, and Flula’s desire to join fictional universes, “Gruber” (a Die Hard/Hans Gruber prequel), and “Blissney” (Disney).
  • Running gags: lens cap disaster, failed attempts at facial hair, and the confusing etymology of American idioms:
    • Quote:
      Scott: “As far as I'm concerned, all animals are precious things and should be protected and all bugs should be dead.” ([04:06])
    • Flula:
      “We recorded [the sitcom] three years ago… my cousin Heinz neglected to...remove the lens caps.” ([09:29])

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2. Sprague the Whisperer’s Ninja, Live Shows & Strike Era Work

[18:55-34:02]

• Sprague updates Scott on his producing career amid the industry strikes.
• Cancelled Projects:
  • Shares that all “ninja-related” media projects are on hiatus, including a planned “Ninja Family Matters” reboot (Urkel as a Bruce Lee persona).
• Music Festivals in the Strike Era:
  • Announces involvement in “Fyre Fest 2: Redemption” with Ja Rule, now relocated to the Arctic Circle (the Labrador region of Canada)—intentionally set up as a survivalist nightmare, parodying the original Fyre Fest disaster.
  • Running bits:
    • Survival tips, procuring food, “cordage,” and dangerous wilderness conditions.
    • Lineup jokes: Sebastian Maniscalco to do “four or five days of standup,” and requests for Flula to DJ.
    • Joking about artists performing in dangerous, empty conditions, getting dropped off one by one by helicopter.
  • Memorable moments:
    • Quote:
      Sprague: “You will have to procure food and find a shelter, like a dry patch of ground that you can cut.” ([39:43])
    • On festival location:
      Sprague: “We’re switching it up this year…right now we’re doing it in the Labrador region of Canada.” ([38:32])

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3. Star Trek, Pop Culture & Live Show Tangents

[21:49-26:00]

• Spirited debate over Star Trek characters Seven of Nine, Kes, and Star Trek’s sexy casting swaps, leading to genuine confusion and rapid-fire pop-culture asides.
  • Quote:
    Scott (on Seven of Nine): “You know, when she got onto Star Trek Voyager… the ratings improved by like two cup sizes.” ([26:43])

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4. Kayla Dickey’s Truck Confessionals

[50:20-61:00]

• Introduction of Kayla Dickey, who recaps her bizarre romantic and professional history in Montrose, Colorado:
  • History of dating local men with increasingly outlandish truck names: Cart, Tark, Shart, Judd.
  • Obsession with Ford Rock Hard series—giant trucks equating to tiny penises (“my preferred size is the size of a dice”).
  • Surreal town disaster: Ex-mayor Judd burns down Montrose after leaving curling irons on in various buildings; he later lives as a bear for a decade.
  • Kayla’s past job as Judd’s “assistant,” primarily helping him curl his pubic hair—a recurring Comedy Bang Bang bit.
• Quote:
  Kayla: “I'm obsessed…and so is most of my town, with the Ford Rock Hard series.” ([51:53]) Kayla: “It's just too bad that no one in LA has a small dick.” ([83:05])

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5. Love Is Truck: The Reality Show Satire

[64:01-80:22]
Kayla unveils her new Netflix reality dating show, “Love Is Truck.”

• Contestants are paired in trucks, their eyes glued shut, sedated, and tied up (“standard Netflix stuff”), guessing the size of their partner’s truck (and, by proxy, penis) solely by conversation.
• Hosted by “AI Vanessa Lachey” and the real Nick Lachey (“he's already AI”).
• Contestants must get engaged, sight-unseen; the “proposal” is dodging being run over by a truck.
• All her potential matches are mysteriously mauled by a bear—hinted to be her ex, Judd, in a bear suit.
• Satire of toxic male behavior: “Queef” reads Kayla the infamous Jonah Hill texts, “Taint” negs and traumatizes her with graphic animal attacks, and all dates become a series of male ‘red flags.’
• Quote:
  Kayla: “I just want to be with the guy with the biggest, biggest truck and the smallest, smallest dick.” ([81:25]) Kayla (on her suitors): “Literally, his dick is smaller than a dice… like a shoelace—like the end of a shoelace.” ([73:10])
• Industry parody: contestants are paid a pittance, cut off from all family contact, subjected to extreme deprivation and manipulation—again played for deadpan laughs at the expense of reality TV.

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6. Plugs & Closing Chaos

[85:20–end]

• Flula plugs “Flula Makes Five,” launching “exactly” September 19th.
  • Classic Comedy Bang Bang bit: forcing Flula to deliver plugs with a phone pressed sideways to his face.
  • Quote:
    Sprague: “You might not want to listen to my podcast, but resistance is futile.” ([87:41])
• Sprague plugs Firefest 2: redemption ($6,000 minimum ticket, must survive in the wild), “Scott Hasn’t Seen,” and documentary licensing rights (joke).
• Kayla plugs “Love Is Truck,” as well as various other CBB World podcasts and her Instagram (with hacking saga).
• The show closes with the “plug bag” routine, more meta-improv, and recurring self-aware acknowledgments of the show’s inanity and meta-commentary about friendship, adversarial podcasting, and LA’s “big dick” culture.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Flula on podcast failure:
  “We have paused Boom Time because we are converging this wonderful boom time to a very wonderful new podcast.” ([06:30])
• On Fyre Fest 2:
  Sprague: “We're dropping people off one by one… You've got to survive at least 40 days before FYFest starts.” ([40:27])
• Kayla’s romantic thesis:
  Kayla: “There’s a correlation…big trucks, small dicks. It’s awesome.” ([53:18])
• Kayla on Netflix reality TV deprivation:
  “They give you no food, no water, all alcohol...standard Netflix stuff.” ([66:57])
• On relationship compatibility:
  Sprague: “His dick is just too big. It's a Twizzler…just too long.” ([79:27])
• Pop culture aside:
  Scott: “You know, when she got onto Star Trek Voyager… the ratings improved by like two cup sizes.” ([26:43])

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Important Timestamps

• [03:10] – Main show begins; Flula’s fourth appearance, initial riffs.
• [04:41] – Flula’s Die Hard/Gruber prequel pitch.
• [08:46] – Flula reveals TV-to-podcast mishap.
• [18:55] – Intro of Sprague, plug for “Scott Hasn’t Seen,” ninja project discussion.
• [33:46] – Sprague announces Fyre Fest 2: Redemption details.
• [50:20] – Kayla Dickey’s entrance; truck/romance obsessions.
• [64:01] – Kayla explains “Love Is Truck”; satire of reality dating shows.
• [85:20] – Plug bag segment begins.
• [92:43] – Episode wind-down; final banter and closing.

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Tone and Language

The episode maintains the signature CBB blend: improv absurdism, relentless pop-culture riffing, deadpan character work, and meta-humor. The guests slingshot between faux-sincerity and ludicrous parody, often breaking the fourth wall and riffing on the podcast’s own mechanics (“standard Netflix stuff”), reality TV, and American masculinity. The language is brisk, sometimes bawdy, with a friendly, chaotic, and creative energy throughout.

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Final Takeaway

“Love Is Truck” epitomizes Comedy Bang Bang’s 15-year magic: high-wire comedy that skewers pop culture, upends expectations, and lets its guest characters’ hilarious obsessions spiral until you almost believe “Love…is truck.”

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Sprague the Whisperer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Hey everyone, this is Scott Aukerman and welcome to another Bonus Bang where we are re releasing wonderful episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall. Now. This week's Bonus Bang is the latest episode in a series we're calling A Quickie with Kayla Dickey where we're showcasing episodes featuring Kayla Dickey played by Lily Sullivan. Of course, Kayla is the woman who stands by her big truck driving man. And this episode is called Love Is Truck. It was Originally released on September 10, 2023 as episode 829. Okay, so who's on this episode? Our guest is actor and former DJ Flulaborg. You may know from Pitch Perfect 2amongst other things. Then we have manager slash super producer Sprague the Whisperer played by Sean Disston. And then Lily brings up the rear playing Kayla Dickey who talks about being on a new reality show. So if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as shows like CBEEB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen the Neighborhood. Listen Collegetown become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives ad free every single live episode. Even more original shows. Plus want to see us out on tour? We are starting the tour very soon. In a couple of weeks. Head over to cbbworld.comtour for all the dates and ticket links. We're going to be back Monday with the new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus ban.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Come and be my comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He hath eaten me out of house and home. There is no hole left for your bone. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Big Honkin Melons for that catchphrase submission. Oh, boy. Thanks, guys. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We are deep in the throes of Zeptember, of course, and we are. We have a wonderful show. First of all, my name. I may have said Shoal. My name is Scott Aukerman and I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. And if you've never heard Comedy Bang Bang before, it's an interview show where I interview interesting people. Used to be the show where we talk to interesting people. Now it's humanities podcast as well as the Animal Kingdoms podcast. Want to make sure that we're not excluding any mammals out there as well, I guess. Are bugs in the animal kingdom? I say to our first guest, I believe so, yes. You think they're part of the animal kingdom?

[Flula Borg]

Is there like a separated insect kingdom or.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I hope there is, because I. As far as I'm concerned, all animals are precious things and should be protected and all bugs should be dead. Nice.

[Flula Borg]

It's a very hot take, I agree.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. But we have a wonderful show coming up a little later. We have a manager, producer, and we also have a. A woman. I was going to call her a wife, but I. I think circumstances may have changed. But let's get to our first guest. This is his fourth time on the show.

[Flula Borg]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you imagine being on doing anything four times? No, no.

[Flula Borg]

This is a wonderful time for me. I'm feeling very grateful.

[Kayla Dickey]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever seen, like, a movie? I know you. Yes. You've gone to the movies at least four times, but one particular movie more than three times.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, I've seen Die Hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Die Hard?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. I've seen it 15 times.

[Scott Aukerman]

15 times. And do you relate to Hans Gruber? Is that why. Or.

[Flula Borg]

I am determined to make a preque, which would be just called gruber.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about MacGruber? That would be funny to do. Like Gruber versus MacGruber.

[Flula Borg]

50% MacGyver, 50% MacGruber. I like it. Yes. It's very rude.

[Scott Aukerman]

He is, of course, an actor and a former techno DJ that you may know from such films that I guess during a strike we can't talk about, but. Right.

[Flula Borg]

Are you talking about Hans Gruber? Who are we talking about?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, it's so vague.

[Flula Borg]

Nobody knows.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, I like Hans Gruber. He should be in other movies like. Yes. Alan Rickman's great. And he went on to Harry Potter and all that. Kind of stuff. No, make Hans Gruber in other movies.

[Flula Borg]

I agree. He needs to just go everywhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

And not in the Die Hard verse. Like, yeah, he's dead in the spoilers for Die Hard, but just put Hans Gruber in another movie.

[Flula Borg]

Other verses that we cannot speak about currently. Exactly. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know him. No, I can't talk about where you know him from, but unless the strike's over by the time this is released. Oh, that would be nice.

[Flula Borg]

That would be wonderful. It's not going to happen, but it's very wonderful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. From what's been going on recently as of this taping, it's not gonna happen.

[Flula Borg]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

But please welcome back to the show for his fourth appearance, Flula Borg.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, hello to you and thank you very much. Scott Aucaman.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so wonderful to see you. Big fan as well to you. We've worked together in the past and you've been on this show four times. That about covers our relationship.

[Flula Borg]

And now we've completed. May I leave?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's the door.

[Flula Borg]

Wonderful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone subscribe. Flula had a podcast named Boom Time. Is that still going on?

[Flula Borg]

Boom Time is now pause time. Yeah. We have paused time because we are converging this wonderful boom time to a very wonderful new podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you are? Well, we'll talk about the new podcast in a second. What was the. I was on Boomtime once, and I remember it had a very unique premise. What was the premise?

[Flula Borg]

The premise was, I say words, you say words.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amazing. But wasn't there. Wouldn't the show end when the guest said boomtime?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, this is true. If you were like a rush, you can always leave Boom Time by screaming boom Time.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So some shows were very short, between

[Flula Borg]

8 and 10 seconds long. Yes, yes. We had Albert Jankovic, famously, 62 seconds.

[Scott Aukerman]

62 seconds.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He just said boom Time.

[Flula Borg]

Boom Time is bye bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, what a great premise for a show. I wish we could do that here.

[Flula Borg]

Tough to do ad reads, but very good.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how long were you doing Boomtime for? That was years and years and years and years, wasn't it?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Well, it's one pandemic ago, which translates to 82 years. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I haven't seen you since before then.

[Flula Borg]

I believe so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I believe the last time I saw you was in the 2018s, 2019s or something. And it feels like we're two totally different people.

[Flula Borg]

Yo. Absolutely. Pluto was a planet the last time we saw.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But do you think they'll Ever discover another planet?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, like, take a penny, leave a penny. It's like, hey, Pluto, you're not one anymore, but we got this other one.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, you mean, like, it's a quota? Like, five boys on the basketball team?

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. Nine planets in the solar system.

[Flula Borg]

Sorry. Bye. Yeah, perhaps I would like that. Me as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe one, like, really close to us that we could, like, vacation to.

[Flula Borg]

But it must still work with the acronym. My very excellent mother just served us nine pizzas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very excellent. I've never heard that before, and I love it now. Yeah. Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

So if it's not Pluto, it must be something else.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flula, you, of course, are in a bunch of stuff that we can't talk about. But what we can talk about is the podcast space, which is, of course, you know, SAG actors are getting in here, and we love them, we welcome them. I love a good SAG actor talking to another SAG actor about, like, everything they've done before. What. But what is your. What is the premise of your show? Is it where you interview other celebrities or what exactly is it?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, is this podcast coming out?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the one that we're. Oh, this is coming out September 19th, from what I'm told.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. It's not supposed to be a podcast. This is actually a giant travesty, as they say.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened?

[Flula Borg]

Well, I have. I had a sitcom called Flula Makes Five, and we filmed an entire season. And to save some dollars, I hired my cousin Heinz to be the director of the photographies.

[Scott Aukerman]

But DP is, as they say.

[Flula Borg]

But that's inappropriate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cinematographer. Oh, yes, of course. We shouldn't say dp.

[Flula Borg]

You should never say that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that outlawed on sets now?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Either wear a mask or don't say dp.

[Kayla Dickey]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Do they have an intimacy coordinator? Anytime you talk to the DP now,

[Flula Borg]

as soon as you say it, two coordinators come jogging.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, they don't run for safety.

[Scott Aukerman]

So how long ago was this filmed?

[Flula Borg]

We recorded it three years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three years ago. Flew lo makes five. Recorded in 20. 20. What? What month?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, let's not go there. But then my cousin Heinz neglected to. We didn't know this until later. To remove the lens caps.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

For those of you who have never handled a camera before. Well, how deep should we go?

[Flula Borg]

Go deep.

[Scott Aukerman]

The lenses are. What are lenses?

[Flula Borg]

They absorb light, reflect, and refract.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, of course. And you have to put a cap on those because occasionally they'll get scratched. And have you ever seen a movie where there's just a bunch of scratches on the frame. It's because.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Like the Deadpool and Wolverine, the sequel. Oh, can't speak about movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can't talk about Deadpool versus Oh, man. And that's the thing on Comedy Bang Bang, we would be talking about Deadpool versus Wolverine Forever.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yes.

[Flula Borg]

The whole time. We would never stop.

[Scott Aukerman]

Man, I would love to see you in one of those X Men movies.

[Flula Borg]

BS Wad.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in a different comic book movie that we can't talk about, but I would love. We can talk about future projects. Oh, okay. That you want to be.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Well, I would like to be in Gruber, the prequel to Die Hard, and I would like to be in other things I cannot name in universes that rhyme with blissney.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, how old are you and are you sneaking up on where Gruber actually. His actual age.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. My technical age is ageless infinity. And if you look at me in the mirror, I think I still cannot grow something called facial hair. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're covered then.

[Flula Borg]

I'm covered. I would need to cover my face to make a mustache.

[Scott Aukerman]

One time when I was 18 years old and I was auditioning for a stage version of Lyn Little Shop of Whores to be the dentist, and all I could grow was very blond, thin, wispy facial hair. So I took a mascara and I made it darker for the audition, and I did not get it.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, rude.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I do have to say, like, I then saw some friends, and none of them noticed that it was. So I think I did a pretty good job with the makeup.

[Flula Borg]

Did you continue to do this, or.

[Scott Aukerman]

They were lying to me.

[Flula Borg]

They lied. They were lying. Was this the only time you mascaraed your beard?

[Scott Aukerman]

The only time I've ever done. Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

You had a blonde beard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, I did. Yes. And now it's white. Oh, from blonde to white. Yeah, yeah. Never got dark. I never had those dark years.

[Flula Borg]

You skipped it. You skipped the step.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I would suggest maybe you doing that if, like, Gruber is so successful that you. Then what would the middle step between prequel and actual movie be?

[Flula Borg]

I think lots of money.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. What do you think Gruber got up to?

[Flula Borg]

Gruber?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, he was a baker.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was a baker before. Oh, beforehand.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you didn't say banker. You said baker. He's so close.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Baker and baker. I wonder if I gave him the idea to rip off the bank.

[Flula Borg]

They both deal with dough, as we know.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's one of the. The American idioms, by the way. Dough meaning money.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes. And also, I don't get it. By Homer Simpson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, yes. And what. I mean, what else have you thought about this project all that much? Kuba.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

As I've written the whole screenplay.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've written the whole screenplay?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Pencils up.

[Flula Borg]

He dies at the end.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, see, here's the problem, though. I think he. I think he dies in Die Hard. He's the titular die.

[Flula Borg]

He does what with his. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

The movie Die Hard that we're talking about.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think there is a big famous scene where like John McClane, who's famously portrayed by Bruce Willis.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is. Is holding onto his hand or something like that. Holding hands. They're holding hands, but vertically.

[Flula Borg]

Vertically, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Instead of horizontally, like if you were to shake someone's hand. That would be correct.

[Flula Borg]

It's a vertical handshake.

[Scott Aukerman]

But instead they're doing it vertically off the side of a building.

[Flula Borg]

Correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then he plummets to his death. He dies in that movie.

[Flula Borg]

Wait, do we see it, though?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a good point. Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is a good point. What do you think happened? Did he land on a bird?

[Flula Borg]

Well, Hans Guber, then perhaps he also. Well, he was in that other film about Harry. I can't say these. Can we say film names?

[Scott Aukerman]

We can talk about his ancestors job. So the ancestors would make pots. Yes. Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

It rhymes with Barry Snorter. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Flula Borg]

If he had died, he could not have played in this film.

[Scott Aukerman]

But here's. Here's my issue. You're making a prequel to Die Hard where he. Now you're saying he doesn't die in Die Hard, but he dies in your prequel.

[Flula Borg]

Do you know, do you want him to live? I mean, I can. It's easy to rewrite.

[Scott Aukerman]

How easy? Like very.

[Flula Borg]

Is it just a short sentence? Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the sentence where he dies.

[Flula Borg]

He dies? Just.

[Scott Aukerman]

He dies? Yeah. That's like as short as Jesus wept.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The shortest verse in the Bible.

[Flula Borg]

Listen, my inspiration was Ecclesiastes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You a Bible guy? I always wondered.

[Flula Borg]

You've wondered this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's a great book. It's a great value because there's a lot of books inside of it.

[Flula Borg]

So many books inside books. A Russian stacking doll of Negroes. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what happens in the actual movie? He's a baker. And then what does he do after that?

[Flula Borg]

Somebody steals his Rolls.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. How many rolls?

[Flula Borg]

14.

[Scott Aukerman]

14. That's more than a baker's dozen baker does, plus one. That's a Groover's Dozen.

[Flula Borg]

It's a group of dozen. Yes. You know I sent you my first draft. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said. Oh, okay. Yeah. Osmosis, I think. I read. I slept. I put it under my pillow.

[Flula Borg]

You said you didn't open my PDF.

[Scott Aukerman]

PDFs are so hard to open. It's very true.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. If you don't have preview download.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, Adobe's going under. It's.

[Flula Borg]

That's Acrobat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come on. Oh yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Get out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is fantastic. So have we talked about your podcast? No, no, no, no, no, no. But I haven't talked about it yet. So Flula makes five.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You filmed the entire. How many episodes did you film?

[Flula Borg]

8. Plus a surprise episode. Don't tell.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I don't know who I would tell necessarily, but I guess my loved ones do it. My family.

[Flula Borg]

All of them?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

The people I would consult if I were running for office.

[Flula Borg]

Oh great, A team of lawyers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So you filmed these? You get all the footage back?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's like the absence of footage.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

We said like if a be in the woods. Did he take off the lens cap?

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. I don't think he would know how. Although I guess 1 in infinity number of bears making a television show in the woods would take off that lens cap.

[Flula Borg]

Ours did not in theory. So our editor received the footage and realized it's only audio. So our TV show has now become a podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

It's awkward, but fun times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well this sounds good. I mean, can you tell what's going on? Is there a lot of physical comedy

[Flula Borg]

or there's a laughing track? So when you're like, should I giggle? You hear the people's giggle and you're like, oh, I should giggle as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like, I like that because I like to be part of the crowd.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, of course I can tell you. It's called Fluna makes five because a family of four buys a house does not read the fine print that there's a German techno DJ who assigned a 99 year lease to the basement. Fluna makes five. Let's play a clip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, sure.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, that was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hahahaha. I hate to tell you, but I think they didn't record the audio. That didn't.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, so nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was your cousin involved in the sound department as well?

[Flula Borg]

Heinz is working for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh no, no.

[Flula Borg]

I hate him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this sounds amazing. Flula makes five. September 19th sounds like the release date on this.

[Flula Borg]

It's correct. That sounded correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doesn't look like it from all the information I'm getting. September 19th is or thereabouts.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Could be. You know, plus or minus one day.

[Kayla Dickey]

Zero.

[Flula Borg]

No, plus or minus zero.

[Scott Aukerman]

Literally. September 19th.

[Flula Borg]

September 19th, 919. The prefix to Raleigh, North Carolina. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it really? That's it. Did you ever spend time there?

[Flula Borg]

No.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Good.

[Flula Borg]

Where is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you just know all area codes? I know five. Did you ever hear that song I Got Hoes in different areas.

[Flula Borg]

Different area codes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You must have played. Played that when you were a. A dj.

[Flula Borg]

I did. I still do. And yes, that's how I know 919.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you. Do you still D.J. really? Yes, really?

[Flula Borg]

Everyone does when you wake up and hit play.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that. Well, that is a good point.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has there ever been a day where you just were like, I don't want to listen to any music?

[Flula Borg]

I only. Yes. These days I listen to a white noise.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Just white noise? Just a little bit. Or do you mean the soundtrack to white noise? The Noah Baumbach film. The who?

[Flula Borg]

Who is this? What is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Now I'm speaking your language. There's a real name. No. Noah Baumbach. Yes. He. Wow.

[Flula Borg]

Squ.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whale. What are these? These are Philips.

[Flula Borg]

Is it a nursery rhyme?

[Scott Aukerman]

Squid and the Whale. Yeah, that would be a great nursery. I wonder if you want to workshop this nursery rhyme.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. I'll send you a PDF.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is amazing. Flula makes five. September 19th. Seems like it might be the release date on this.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, it definitely is.

[Scott Aukerman]

And where do people acquire this?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, any place where a podcast is residing is where you can also find it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really now? Yes. So you have that kind of distribution on this?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, we have big time peoples working on this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Amaz. Well, I can't wait to hear this. This is. Are there stretches in there where people are going to be confused? They don't know what's going on?

[Flula Borg]

Listen, if you have a nice imagination, Butterfly in the sky, I can fly twice as high. You will enjoy the show.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, that's a deal. How long are these episodes?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, they're between 23 and 31 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Really?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you going to be cutting them down? Because TV shows are famously like 22 minutes.

[Flula Borg]

When we realized television was not possible, we just said, let's leave it all in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is good. I cannot wait to see this. Flula makes five. And do you die at the end of this or.

[Flula Borg]

Well, TB Diesels.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that Vin Diesel's brother? Tb? Diesel.

[Flula Borg]

Tb?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Tb. Yeah, he was in bloodshot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Terrence Brochard Diesel.

[Flula Borg]

He's his Body double, if you don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is amazing. Flula makes five. September 19th. We need to get to our next guest, if that's okay.

[Flula Borg]

Wonderful. Bye. Bye. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, I want you to stay.

[Flula Borg]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello. Okay.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello. Hello. Even better. Hello.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

He is a manager.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Scott, he's a manager. He is a producer, and he also is the co host of a podcast that just reached its 100th episode. Scott hasn't seen. Please welcome back to the show Sprague the Whisperer, Scott Ockerman.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hi, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

How are you? Hello, Sprague. It's so good. Do you know Flula? Flula?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. I believe we've met before.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, we have.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys have met before?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, we hung out when I was. I. I think it was like, a few years back when my accent was stronger.

[Scott Aukerman]

I remember that you had some interesting vowel choices.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

The vowel choices were very interesting and consistent, which I thought was good.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, now you're just going all over the map now.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I kind of come in and out of it, you know, it's kind of. It's kind of fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the way I feel about people doing accents. It's like, you know, do it when

[Sprague the Whisperer]

you feel like it. That will be fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott, I. I do want to say I. I'm trying my hardest. I'm currently sitting in a position in which constantly. I'm unplugging your computer.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are in the seat that you traditionally sit in during. Scott hasn't seen. And not an episode goes by where you do not somehow knock the plug out of the computer, leaving my computer to drain down to nothing.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, you decided to put this very important strip of plugs right where someone would be sitting, right where the knees would be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, that said, an important change has occurred since the last time you saw.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Here we go. There. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've moved the plug a little further away.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So I can scoot in.

[Flula Borg]

Just.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, hold on, hold on.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We're back. We're back. Well, Scott, how are. First of all, I'm a little confused. This is not. Scott hasn't seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is not. This is Comedy Bang Bang, the show that we met on.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, Scott, I watched Kiss Kiss Bang

[Scott Aukerman]

Bang, thinking, oh, I know. I've seen that.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You've seen it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I love that movie.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I fell asleep.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happens fully, you should do. Scott hasn't seen.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, okay, great.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Come me in.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a. It's a. It's a movie podcast where we watch movies that I haven't seen before. And then we talk about it.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, let's name one.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sure. Let's see. What have we got? What have we got? What have we not done?

[Scott Aukerman]

What have we not done?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What have we not done? We've done a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. We did the train coming at the, at the audience.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We did train for sponging.

[Flula Borg]

We did train Throw mama from the Choo choo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, have we done throw mama? We have not done. Because unfortunately, I saw that opening night.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, damn. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

1990.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I was excited for a second because that's a real classic in the spray.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder if it holds up.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, it can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

We should find something for you, Flula, please. We. Oh, it's a fun show to do.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's so fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

During strike especially. Oh.

[Flula Borg]

So we can say the words of the things we are seeing on the screen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

As long as you're not involved in them in any way.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am not.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Whatever.

[Flula Borg]

Nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, Sprague, I, I, it's, it's wonderful to have you back, and I, I had a question I wanted to ask you. Sure. You're obviously a manager. You're a producer. I'm in the industry, and I see you every week doing this other show Scott hasn't seen yet. Yes, but it's been a long time since we spoke about any Ninja Prod project that you've been involved in.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's going on with ninjas these days?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, Scott, I don't know if you know, but in the industry, there's a little bit of a strike going on.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course, a lot of my ninja projects have been dropped.

[Scott Aukerman]

They've been dropped. Really?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. Of course. I was doing Ninja Family Matters, which, of course was a reboot of the television show Family Matters, where Steve Urkel was just in his Bruce Lee Persona the entire show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he do the. That's a Scott Astine.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That is a Scott Asenstein for the listeners who don't know. He invented what he called his transformation machine, where he goes into the. This is a.

[Flula Borg]

This is real.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is a multicam sitcom. This is real. He would go into his transformation machine and turn into a cooler version of himself. Stefan or.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, of course, of course.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's cool. But then a few episodes, they decided, let's get crazy with it. I think he, like, goes in there with, like, a Bruce Lee magazine or something, and he comes out basically doing a problematic Bruce Lee impression. Oh, with a Bruce Lee wi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he's doing a problematic one.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yeah, not a. Not a good thoughtful one, but. And then he comes in and then there's like a big fight scene where he kicks a bunch of people's asses. And so the show that I was going to do was going to be every episode he was just this problematic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does he have to keep going into the machine?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, every morning it's kind of like Seven of Die. You got to go in and like recharge in your little alcove, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I understand that now because I've been watching Voyager, you're watching Voyager, and I've arrived at the seven of nine episodes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

How do you feel about seven? Here's what I think about seven.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know what seven of nine is? Falula?

[Flula Borg]

Seven divided by 9.646.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sorry, it's going to be under one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell you what, just Google this thing right now, okay? Google it right now and you're going to have a treat.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'll tell you my big thoughts on Seven of dying. I feel sad for Kes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you feel sad for Kes?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

There's a character that's on the show, she's kind of like one of the female Doctor assistants. And then I feel like the writers and producers were like, this woman's not hot enough.

[Kayla Dickey]

Let's get rid of her.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We'll bring in a robot that we basically wear skin tight leotards every episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like though, on tng, the Next Generation.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They get rid of Picard's love interest from. From season one, who's like a good looking woman.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Is that the Doctor?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. The Doctor, yeah, yeah. Wesley's mom. Yeah. And. But she's like, you know, a middle aged woman and they're gonna replace her. And you think they would get someone like Seven of Nine. They get the oldest woman possible. And it does.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Picard hit it eventually.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's of course, man. It's Picard Fluli.

[Flula Borg]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've. You've googled.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. What is a tertiary adjunct of Unimatrix 01?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

She was part of the Borg and I'm part of the Borg. I'm surprised you don't know about this because she is a part of the Borg collective from Star Trek.

[Flula Borg]

Well, okay, I'm not members of the store, but I'm a Borg member.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should be involved in Star Trek projects.

[Flula Borg]

Why have I been excluded?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Have you not watched anything with the Borg?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's like if there was some sort of actor who came up named something Shatner. And they never like, no one was ever like, oh, we should Do Koopa movies. You gotta get on Star Trek.

[Flula Borg]

Who do I call? Gene Roddenberry.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's no longer with us, unfortunately.

[Flula Borg]

That's.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

See who can you.

[Flula Borg]

Data.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I don't know, Tony.

[Scott Aukerman]

We. We just had. We just had T and Jack on the show.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, Tony and Jack.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Maybe.

[Flula Borg]

Is this a. These are two people.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, there two people.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I will, I will, I will. MySpace.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm surprised you have another.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm surprised you. The Borg. No, no, no.

[Flula Borg]

It sounds like a nice rap group from the 1990s.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's a.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's a. It's a Unimind. It's a bunch of robots that have one collective mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nice.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And there's. Of course. I don't know if you've got to. That. I don't want to spoil anything for Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. I don't know. I'm still in the first season that she's on.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. Their spaceships are big cubes.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they say stuff like, it doesn't seem aerodynamic, but. But then you're in space. So what do you know the difference?

[Flula Borg]

There is no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but all those corners, it's like. It's like. You think starships are constantly, like, hitting themselves on.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I've tried to leave like a garage, like after a movie. Corners of my car are hitting everything. I could imagine it being a cube.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also, we had to babysit safe all of our furniture. So we've had to put these little things underneath our corners of our tables. Could you imagine a little plastic thing, though? Those should be on the board.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They should be on the board.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. That's the cube who was six of Nine. Two thirds.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, no. It's a tragic story for six of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Yeah, we. Was there a One of nine. Two of Nine. Like, I don't want to spoil the show.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, well, Scott, you asked me about my ninja projects, what I've been up to. We haven't been.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? We have to take a break.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Break.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can. Can we hype that? We're going to. We're going to talk about these after the. After the break.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Let's hype it, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so hype it up.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm going to talk about what I've been up to after the pl.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to lay down some sort of a.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And I got to say, music is a big tea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We're not going to talk about 7 of 9 anymore. But can I just say, Scott, she's hot as hell.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know? You know, when she got onto Star Trek Voyager. The the ratings like, improved. Improved 310.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, they improved by like two cup sizes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm hoping us just talking about her improves our ratings.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, maybe. We just mentioned 7 of died every few minutes and we'll be fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, so we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we might mention Seven of Nine again.

[Kayla Dickey]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Sprague's gonna tell us about what he's been up to. And the music is a great big part of it. This is very exciting. Plus, we have a woman coming up that's very exciting.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I don't think she's gonna be happy about this.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll be right back. We're gonna come back with Flula Borg. We're gonna come back with Sprague the Whisperer. We'll be right back with more comedy. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace. It's your all in one platform for building a standout online presence. Whether you're launching something new or leveling up your business, you can secure your domain, create a polished website, share what you have to offer, and get paid all in one place. I hate going to a separate place to get paid. Now you can get paid right there at Squarespace. Squarespace makes it easy to book gigs, sell services, and get paid with built in scheduling, invoicing and email tools. You can create a standout site fast using AI or designer templates. No experience needed. Plus, built in SEO helps fans and clients find you while custom domains keep your brand polished and secure, showcase videos, promote events, or even monetize content. Everything is designed to help you grow your audience and your business. Check out squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you are ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Aura Frame is the perfect Mother's Day gift to capture the chaos that you put her through and the memories that came with it. Make a meaningful impression with a gift that feels personal from the very first moment. Photos can be preloaded before the frame ship so it arrives already filled with favorite memories and a custom message can be added to create an extra special unboxing experience. Thoughtful, ready to enjoy, Uniquely tailored. It is a gift that instantly feels one of a kind. Now I have said this before. I'm glad Aura's back. I think it is the greatest invention since gps. It's a frame that basically you just upload pictures to and they constantly cycle through every minute. Every couple of minutes you look over at the frame. There's another couple of pictures there that you, you took. And you're always, it's, it's a conversation piece. You're always like oh look, do you remember that? I cannot tell you how many times a day we're gathering people over and going saying hey, look at this. Do you remember when you were young like that? This is for a baby, not for your mother. Although I guess you could say it to your mother. It is a great, great gift. The best gift that I have given. It's named number one by wirecutter. So you can save on the gifts moms love by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $25 off their best selling Carver matte frame with code Bang Bang. So what that is is auraframes.com auraframes.com, promo code Bang Bang. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Hey, are you. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Shut up for a second. Let me talk to you. Are you one of those people who actually likes their money? I feel you family people members out there. Unfortunately traditional big wireless carriers, they like your money too and they want it coming over to them. So. So if you are tired of spending hundreds on crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees and free perks that cost you more in the long run then a premium wireless plan from mint mobile for 15 bucks a month might be right for you. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes and start saving immediately. No long term contracts, no hassle. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] Bang Bang. That's mintmobile.com Bang Bang. Upfront payment of $45 for 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 per month. New customer offer for first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.

[Flula Borg]

Etc.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cement Mobile for details. Comedy Bang Bang.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And we're back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We've just watched a little film called Kiss Kiss.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we're not. We're not doing Scott. We're not doing Scott Astor. Okay, yeah, we're doing Comedy Bang Bang. I'm in charge of this shit.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Sorry, sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome back. We're here with Flula Borg. Flula Makes five is of course the show that comes out from what I'm hearing. And all information points to September 19th.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, definitely September 19th.

[Scott Aukerman]

And when you hear this about Urkel Having. Having a machine. Do you get ideas for, like, you ever think that maybe this podcast will be successful enough that you could actually film the show?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. If we need a reason for me to get canceled in season two, I think we have a nice plot device. So they're very excited about this.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Just come in and do I transform into the most problematic version of me ever.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we're here with Sprague the Whisperer. Our super producer clients include Sean diston and also Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wow.

[Flula Borg]

That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

We found that out the other day.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That you're Found that out. I. It's a tenuous relationship. I go to say I don't. He doesn't return my emails very quickly, but I still rep him, I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I guess so. He was on our 100th episode that we did for Mama Mia. Here we go again.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Rowdy screening.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott took his shirt off, started waving it around, running up and down.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was the only thing that made it rowdy ever. And everyone was dead.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

S. Everyone sat quietly while Scott ran around shirtless. I think we were scared of him or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, Sprague, that's right before the break break, you had an incredible tease. That's right. What was it? I don't remember.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It was that. What am I up to, Scott? Well, you asked me about my ninja projects, and I got to say a lot of my producing and. And a lot of the TV shows and movies I had in the pipeline. They're dead, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

They've all been sidelined.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They've all been sidelined.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Flula, that happened to you? Any of your shows get canceled?

[Flula Borg]

So many of all of my shows were canceled.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You were about to have a big push here in 2020.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, very large push. A lot of large bench press. A large deadlift.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This guy only talks. Lifting weights.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me spot you now the rest of the terms.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, Scott, as we've discovered doing our live episode of Mamma Mia. Here we go again. You know what's not on strike? Live shows, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Live shows are back. Baby plays, musicals. All those are thriving.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's all thriving. And Scott, so are music festival. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I am proud to announce that I am a part of FY Fest 2, the music festival.

[Scott Aukerman]

The one that Billy. Whatever his name is.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Billy McDonald. We don't talk that much. And I think he said for legal reasons, you shouldn't know who I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I don't know what that is. This is the guy who put on the original fire. Did you ever go to fyre Fest.

[Flula Borg]

I tried to attend, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Did you actually get there? The islands?

[Flula Borg]

I arrived to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and then everyone said, don't go, and

[Sprague the Whisperer]

you were like, this actually looks pretty funner out here.

[Flula Borg]

I should stay here. So I tried to enter a hooter.

[Scott Aukerman]

You tried to.

[Flula Borg]

I tried to. I. Then I realized it is not a show. A store for birds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Oh, I see. Ornithologist.

[Flula Borg]

I'm very ornithologist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you arrive at the hooters and say, I'm very orny. I'm so orny, I want to come on in.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Some birds. Some hot birds. Yes.

[Flula Borg]

They said, come inside.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's your English slang, by the way.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I was talking about women when I said birds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Now, Scott, I know Fyre Fest has a bit of a reputation of being a bit a. Of a cluster, some people say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I don't appreciate that kind of language on this show, but a cluster screw.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Thank you. Cluster bone, maybe Cluster bone.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

A cluster. Make love Cluster.

[Scott Aukerman]

Reverse cowgirl.

[Flula Borg]

This is where the woman is facing the other.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe so. Yeah. The most uncomfortable position known to man that somehow gets. I think it looks good on camera,

[Flula Borg]

but it's functionally impossible.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, it does look good on camera, doesn't it, Scott? Now that I think about it, I

[Scott Aukerman]

mean, everyone's facing the camera in that. So it's like. So it works out.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You want them to cheat to the camera? Anytime I'm watching porn, I'm like, cheat to the camera.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love to see some. There's no other word for it but porn. Yes. Where everyone's facing away from the camera all the time.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That be a nice artistic backstage. It was all in shadows, the people that. Facing away. That'd be fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gives a lot to the imagination.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It really does, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

But no. Me and my friend Ja Rule, of course, Scott, have been putting together this music festival and. And this. This is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ja Rule was involved in the first.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He was involved in the first one.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This One is called Firefest 2 Redemption. Oh, it's interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ja Rul was one of the few musical acts.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That sang exclusively about murdering people.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah. His name of his group was Murder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And every. Every song, he would go, murder.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And then one day I woke up and I said, ja Rule's in jail. It must be for murder. Turns out it was for driving without a license.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's going on with this guy Guy? You know, even when he hops on a JLO song and she's all like, ain't it Funny. And he's like, murder.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You know, I met Ja Rule once.

[Kayla Dickey]

Really?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I bet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hope so. You're putting on this festival?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, no, we. We. The festival's through emails, but I didn't meet him in person once, and he was two weeks out of jail, and he was showing up to the UCB to do a comedy show for some reason with my client. Of course, I was. I was. This was before I had signed John Distant. I signed him Business. And he was very funny. He took a lot of pictures with a lot of people, and he was asking us all where we could get ecstasy. And he also. When I took a picture with him, I put my arm around him. I was, like, trying to put my arm around him, and he said, hey, bro, I'm not gay, and then pushed me away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And he pushed him away. Anyway, just wanted to say my little child rule story.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the other thing is, he's had a show with a bunch of improvisers. They're all nerds. How do they know how to get ecstasy?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I mean, I don't know what he thought. He was like, these guys probably invented it or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like, come talk to podcasters.

[Flula Borg]

So is this a real story?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is. I know. I know. It feels like it's not a real story. Yes, but it is a real story.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is a real story. Okay, so. So. But since then, you've patched things up, and now you're putting on this.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Now we're putting on Fire Fest 2, the Redemption. And of course, that is a real story as well. And it's gonna be fun. Scott, I know you like music festivals. You're a big fan of Coachella. Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

All the notes do Re mi faso Latino.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What do you think, Scott? Can I get you down to Fyre Festival?

[Scott Aukerman]

To perform or to attend?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

To attend vip. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you say that, meaning you want me to buy a VIP pass?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

6,000 each.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six a piece? Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you want to buy. One for you, one for cooler, one

[Scott Aukerman]

for the baby, one for the baby, one for me, one for you. You're putting on this thing?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

My contract, the way I'm working with it, is pretty loose. I can't necessarily get in without a ticket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Suddenly I'm out 24 grand just to go to this thing.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hey, baby, all you gotta do is a.

[Scott Aukerman]

So we're on strike.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You can't do a week at snl. What are you gonna do?

[Scott Aukerman]

What am I gonna do?

[Flula Borg]

Where Is Fyre Fest 2 located?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, so last year it was in the Bahamas.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you say last year, this is

[Sprague the Whisperer]

several years ago, but yeah, Let me look. 20, 23. Interesting. Yeah. A couple years ago.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It was in the Bahamas.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We're switching it up this year. We want a little bit of a redemption.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So right now we're doing it in the Labrador region of Canada.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, woof, woof.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which is, huh.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Some people say the Arctic Circle. That's one of the coldest places in the world.

[Scott Aukerman]

That doesn't seem like the vibe you get about.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

See, Scott, I know you don't know if that's the vibe, but you haven't felt the vibe yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, well, I mean, the first one never happened, so maybe it is the vibe.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Imagine this vibe, Scott.

[Flula Borg]

Permafrost.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're there.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

There's permafrost everywhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You're dropped off on a helicopter. We got to drop people off one at a time based on the weather conditions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also because the wolves have to go. The wolves are going to be the huskies, everything. They actually take up a lot of space.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's kind of like that weir parable where it's like, how do you get them all across the river? You put the turtle and the wolf and the.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So we get you down there to the Labrador region, we drop you off, we wave it, we wave goodbye.

[Flula Borg]

That's so nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a nice little touch.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I. I wrote, I was like, let's. Let's make sure this is personable because last time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Concierge service.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Nobody gave a shit last time. This time they're waving goodbye from the helicopter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And if they forget to.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

If they forget to, I'll have them circle back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And if you see us. Helicopter, circle back and do a couple loops. That's kind of.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, the helicopter blades are doing sort of a sim, kind of a wave.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So of course you will have to, you know, start to procure food and find a shelter area, like a drive hatch of ground that you can cut.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this is not something provided by the festival.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, no, no. Hopefully you've brought enough tools and axes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hopefully you brought enough tools. Is there a list of tools you're supposed to bring?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You want cordage? Of course you got to have some cordage. Because if you. You got to make a net in order to catch fish in these kind of scenarios, like fishing, recasting a real. That's not gonna work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So you need a net.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You gotta have cordage. So you can make yourself a net. Put it in the water. Okay, Catch a fish. And if you don't catch a fish, you're in a lot of trouble. First couple days. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are there berries and stuff or mushrooms?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

There's berries, but you definitely gotta get your hands on some fat, Scott. Because if you don't have fat in your diet, I mean, I don't know what to tell you.

[Flula Borg]

It's true.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You've got to survive at least 40 days before FYFest starts, and.

[Scott Aukerman]

40 days? Oh, that's how long the festival is.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, yeah, because we're dropping people off one by one, one by one. It really takes a long time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I be, like, last to go? Like, right as the music starting?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Right when the music starts, you're gonna. But I got to say, Scott, right now we have Sebastian Maniscalco opening, and he does about four or five days of stand up. So you've got to know how to survive in the wilderness. How are you? How are your survival skills? Flula Scula.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever been out there in the wilderness?

[Flula Borg]

Have you ever done anything like camping, like, without representation?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I guess that's what I mean.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah. No sag people out there to make sure things are going well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trying to traverse this wilderness known as Hollywood.

[Flula Borg]

Who takes this headshot? What does my resume say?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It does feel like we are in wilderness, doesn't it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know, Sprague. This does. I mean, it sounds to me like you're trying to replicate the environment of the previous firefight when everyone was just. That was what they were upset about, Scott.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This one is actually called Firefest 2. Redemption.

[Flula Borg]

Redemption. You said this.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We're redeeming a lot of the things that happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but everyone wanted to go to this fyre festival because it was like, oh, you have your own private cabana and it's a music festival. Ja Rule's gonna play. I don't know which of got those people out there to buy three or four songs, but he'll sing about murder. Approximately 100%.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

People would be like, I hope he's not talking about me. But, Scott, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think JLO had that experience where she's like.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I think she.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mean me?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

She was like, this is a really good song. J, can I talk to you for a second?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you trying to murder me right now?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Every time I stop singing, you say something about murder, I'm getting a little afraid. That's why she did the movie. Enough now, Scott. What? The movie Enough. Where she learns how to fight back against abusers. Oh, okay, the woman in the room knows what I'm talking about. Now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every woman has seen the movie.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Enough, Scott, for the next few weeks. I think you should test it out. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every woman I see now, Scott.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Of course it was a problem last time. People didn't have shelter, they didn't have food. But now they know what to expect. They're coming in knowing that this is going to be a survival situation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, here was my. When I heard this announced a few weeks ago.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, I thought, okay, this is genius, because now I think it's going to attract a lot of people who just are going to be there to take pictures of how shitty it is.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And who are going to be, like, filming it for a documentary. Because there were so many Fyre Fest documentaries that came out, now they want to be the ones to take all the free.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I gotta say, most of the tickets we sold are from documentary crews.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They're gonna be out there fighting over

[Scott Aukerman]

the first festival just for Documentary Cruise.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They're going to be interviewing each other. It's gonna be wild.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's almost like the conditions can be as shitty as you want because that's what they're looking for.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That is what I guess our vision is. Scott, we want to drop you off in the woods. Hopefully you know how to skin a squirrel or catch a deer or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or catch a squirrel and skin a deer. Oh, hot.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's hard to catch a squirrel. I don't know if you tried to do it. You run it around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, how are you supposed to skin it if you can't catch it?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Great question, Scott. Sometimes you're walking around the woods and there's just a, a dead squirrel. So I, I, I, I mean, look,

[Scott Aukerman]

I can only imagine being. Because there have been times where on, on at my house here, there will be a, a dead thing that you find, like a dead bird or, or dead animal or something. Yeah. And, and you always go like, ew. And you throw it away or you find someone to throw it away for

[Sprague the Whisperer]

you first you yell, e, step up.

[Scott Aukerman]

But imagine if you were starving. What, What Great news that would be. Yum. It's all about perspective, isn't it?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is the Fyre Fest 2 experience. Change your perspective. Yes, it was bad the first time, but what if you want it to be bad?

[Scott Aukerman]

What if you want it to be bad?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Just for Instagram now, Flula, I know we've been talking about you being a dj, and these festivals, they need a lot of DJ vamping. Like, yeah, we're not Gonna get a lot of actual artists out there because of the conditions.

[Flula Borg]

Please let me headline.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You want a headline?

[Scott Aukerman]

Headline, Yes.

[Flula Borg]

I will change my name to DJ Schadenfreude,

[Scott Aukerman]

which you know what that means because you're from Germany.

[Flula Borg]

Absolutely.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I think. I know. I know what it means as well.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. This would be the name of every dark mate about your biofest.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Now, have you done sort of a festival situation? Have you DJed? Because I. I see a lot of those memes where people are in front of a bunch of like Sprite bottles.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And they start like dancing around and like doing the. Pick it up. Pick it up with their hand and

[Scott Aukerman]

turn the Sprite bottle. Yeah. They're sort of like pretending to move one knob back and forth.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And I think what's funny about that is it is kind of saying a DJ is just playing music. Yes. So what do you do? What. What do you bring to the table if I put you out there in the Arctic wilderness? Yeah. What's Flula gonna do for the festival?

[Flula Borg]

I'm going to play music.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's pretty good.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is pretty good, right?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Because I asked, I gotta be honest, I asked about Sebastian Maniscalco to play some music. He said that's not his thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that is my thing.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's your thing?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay. Because he. I was like, sebastian, all right, do a couple jokes about being Italian, whatever. The sauce is spicy, whatever. Then I want you to come in and play some music. Maybe spicy. Meet the. He was like, nah, I don't do music.

[Flula Borg]

You said Marinera Mara.

[Scott Aukerman]

No way.

[Flula Borg]

Right.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wait, maybe you can do Sebastian's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. Yeah, you don't need Sebastian at all. You do the comedy and you do the music.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Come in. I need you to write about five days of Italian jokes. Perfect jokes that are about five days.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this is full 24 hour days.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'll give you one bathroom break.

[Flula Borg]

In day three, I will watch Goodfellows.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good fellows. Yeah. It'll give you so many. Watch Raging Bull come in.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Raging Bulls. And I want you to come in

[Scott Aukerman]

and I want you to just take the canoli. Leave the gun.

[Flula Borg]

Gun.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hit him with the it jokes. Hit him with the Italian jokes. And then everyone's going to be like, this guy's just as good as Sebastian Maniscalco.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then even though Sebastian was on the posters, even though he was there,

[Sprague the Whisperer]

but they're like, this guy's better. And then all of a sudden, you reach down, go down to the sprite

[Flula Borg]

bottle and I play music.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Stop playing music. Yes. This is going to blow everyone's mind.

[Flula Borg]

I'm so excited to be there with the caribou now.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I do. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're not, by the way. They're not. They're not booing, they're saying car. So if you're on stage.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes, you think, think that. But if your performance is bad, they probably will say.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're not saying caribou.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We're not saying caribou's. But they will throw tomatoes up there, which I don't know how they get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which they brought for Sebastian Madison, which,

[Sprague the Whisperer]

because they were like, oh, this is

[Scott Aukerman]

customary, when you see him, he's gonna make sauce tomatoes. Yeah, yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So I. I'm excited about it. I've been.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is wonderful.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I've been learning how to sort of catch fish. I've been learning how to skin sort of a porcupine. You know, they've got a lot of new needles on the outside.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that must. I mean, that's dangerous work, skinny.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's dangerous work. But if you can get your hands on some of that juicy, juicy survival fat skull.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet that it seems to me like a porcupine. Isn't it all quills and it's just like. It's basically like a little tiny centipede underneath all those. But that, that meat is so rare.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, that meat. Because it's like, it's been punctuated. It's like been punctured by all the, like, so the blood's feeling. It's almost like it's. It's marinating in its own blood.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God, you're making me so hungry. Hungry. Okay, okay, okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Because I like, I guess I'm getting there too. But you said hungry.

[Scott Aukerman]

I said hungry.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, this is great. I'm really excited about the festival.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is very exciting.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And put.

[Scott Aukerman]

Put aside all your ninja stuff because you need to focus on this.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I feel like there's no ninja stuff going on right now. I. I did think that if this was a little bit like Burning man, we could have like a big garbage ninja in the middle of the festival.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, Sprague, I know you want to put ninjas in everything.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's in my contract.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's in your contract with the Fire Festival. Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They said, what does everyone bring it to the table? So I said, of course, my managing skills, my producing skills and ninjas. I said. And they said, you have to bring

[Scott Aukerman]

the ninjas, so you have to bring at least one ninja.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah. And I was really hoping. I was really hoping it would have been one of you guys. I. Flula, I hear you've been training a lot.

[Flula Borg]

I have, yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So could you kind of come in and just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you learned any ninja skills in this training?

[Flula Borg]

No, but I've listened to wu Tang clan 36 chambers, 44 times.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

On God.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wait, maybe that's what we do. Maybe we don't need any ninjas, but just like for like a 20 minute set. Just play only ninja sound effects.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

See what happens?

[Scott Aukerman]

Play, play. 36 chambers. The dialogue cut.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

The no music cut. Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Where like, is she like a long scene where it's like, I've been following you since the golden age or some shit that they say. And then you're like, what does this mean? Yes. And then. And then they're like, don't you understand? There's everyone looking for us. The people have been looking for us for a long time. But me, Johnny Gambino, the killer. And you're like, what is this? And then all of a sudden they start rapping about killing people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Johnny Gambino.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I got to be honest, rappers are rapping about killing people all the time. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's weird. It's such a narrow.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Have you heard this?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a narrow aperture.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's about killing people. It's about hoes in different area codes.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

919, and it's about three shelves.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little more about that. There, there. Turns out there's only one song about hoes in different areas codes. He didn't even touch one about thrift shops.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He didn't even touch half the area codes.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's so many of them and there's so many thrift shops. I think every town has a thrift, a goodwill at least, but not hosa.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

They don't know. That's true. That's.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Flula, man.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Speaking my language, baby.

[Flula Borg]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, Sprag, we have to get to our next guest, but this sounds great. I. But so we'll. We.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We'll talk about the tickets, maybe we'll

[Scott Aukerman]

Talk about the 24 promo code. I mean, hopefully the strike's going to end so I can go out and do week. Yeah, just guest write for, I don't know, Abbott elementary or something.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Just come in, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Take. I want to take it over.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Go to Abbott elementary and say, can I just write a couple of the, like, documentary parts?

[Scott Aukerman]

When the strike's over, I want to go in and just go, hey, could I take over Abbott Elementary?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you're going to be the one to raise your hand finally. Well, they Got accepted. These are the rules we are fighting for.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just like, I think, I think you should, should be, be able to go and take over any show you want. It's like, it's like a hostile takeover.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I. So I went over to the set of the L Word and I. I tried to do the same thing, Scott. They had a lot of things to say about why I should really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. They gave you some other L words. Like leave.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Leave.

[Flula Borg]

That was a good.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was good. I liked it. Yeah. All right, well, we need to get to our next guest. Hopefully they're not going to leave. She is a woman. Please welcome Kayla Dickey.

[Kayla Dickey]

Hey. Wow. So good to be the only woman that's ever been on the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

So good to meet you. Meet you.

[Kayla Dickey]

You've met me many times.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Have you met Kayla?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We've, of course met. I'm familiar with Kayla.

[Scott Aukerman]

And have you met Flula before?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I've met Flula. Hi.

[Flula Borg]

Hello to you. How are you doing now?

[Kayla Dickey]

I'm doing fine. Yeah. I'm just like, it's awesome that you guys are talking to a woman on the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, I mean, you're in the third position, but yeah.

[Kayla Dickey]

All that talk about reverse cowgirl and.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You couldn't chime in.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We had to get that stuff out.

[Kayla Dickey]

And even that story about your beard, I was like, wow, like, these guys have never talked to a woman before.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No. But that's not true because we've spoken to you.

[Kayla Dickey]

Right? That's it. I mean, I'm the only woman you've ever talked to.

[Scott Aukerman]

But that's true.

[Kayla Dickey]

Half of you guys didn't even remember me. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kayla.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Remind me. We've spoken to you before.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's what I remember you. Where do you live again?

[Kayla Dickey]

I live in Montrose, Colorado.

[Scott Aukerman]

Montrose, Colorado.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Ah, yes. It's all coming back to me now.

[Scott Aukerman]

You had a boyfriend named.

[Kayla Dickey]

I had a boyfriend named Cart and then another one named Tark and another one named Shart. And then I. I'm sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shot sharp, I think you're hearing. It's like short.

[Kayla Dickey]

It's like shark with a T. Shark.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Kayla Dickey]

And then of course, I dated Judd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And these were all gentlemen who you got to know. They were driving a particular vehicle.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. So I am obsessed. And so is most of my town with the Ford Rock Hard series.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are gas guzzling 4x4 trucks.

[Kayla Dickey]

Massive trucks. They take up two lanes.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. So like for me, like when I like vertically, like if they're were in all Directions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, like a sphere, even underneath the ground.

[Kayla Dickey]

Like, have you been to Vegas? Have you seen that big dome?

[Scott Aukerman]

The sphere?

[Kayla Dickey]

It's like that, but on the road.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I said sphere, and then you said, have you seen that big dome? Dome.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's like the thing he said.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yes, whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

So all these gentlemen would see you on the street. Usually you were a pedestrian.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I'd be walking the streets and

[Scott Aukerman]

they would shout something out at you from these trucks.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. They'd be like, hey, you little idiot, climb up here.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that would always intrigue you. That would pique your interest.

[Kayla Dickey]

I love that. Yeah, I'm obsessed with that. That's my preferred way to be hit on.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you would get into these trucks and then what would happen?

[Kayla Dickey]

And then usually they would have some really cool movie on, like Boondock Saints. And we would watch that for a little bit before hooking up. And. And one of the things I'm also obsessed with besides big, big, big trucks is small ducks.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they would coincidentally, probably they would have small penises as well.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. The size of a dice is my favorite preferred size.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Your success rate on finding small penises is very high.

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, it's really easy when you look for big trucks.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's true.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, there's a correlation.

[Kayla Dickey]

There is a correlation. It's awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a Venn diagram. That is just one circle.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. No, it's like a dome. Have you been to Vegas?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes. Like, it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you were doing that with several gentlemen. And then I think almost 10 years ago or over a decade ago, you were the assistant to a gentleman named Judd Wiebe. Is that right?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. So Judd, we was the mayor of Montrose, but then he burned down the town because he left multiple curling irons on.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was curling his top hair and his pubes.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. And his leg hairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he had straight. Straight pubes, as I recall.

[Kayla Dickey]

The straightest pubes I've ever seen in my life. Like, have you ever seen a Pantene commercial?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Kayla Dickey]

Like the straight haired girls in that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Sort of like grunge musicians, too, who were just like dinosaur juniors.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that was unnatural for most people. So he felt the need to curl them.

[Kayla Dickey]

So he would curl that. But then he burned down the whole town and he fled.

[Flula Borg]

I have a question. Were these curling irons in different houses in different areas?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Great question.

[Kayla Dickey]

At the time, I was his assistant, along with my girls, my best friends. And so I was working at his office at the courthouse, and he left a curling iron on there. Then he left one on at home, and then he left one on at his gym. So the whole town just went up in flames.

[Flula Borg]

And is each of these curling irons for a specific. Like, is there one for the pubis? And then there's one for this?

[Kayla Dickey]

That's such a good question. So thoughtful. And, yes, mine was the pubes. My friend's was armpit, and the other one was legs.

[Flula Borg]

So courthouse was the pubes.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

And would he go from location, Location to each day to straighten or, like, how.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, he would go. Yeah, it would take all day. That was most of his job at the time when he was mayor, it was just kind of curling his hair.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would he ever forget when he was, like, at the courthouse and he'd be like, oh, this one's for the hair. And you'd say, no, no, Judd, it's for the pubes.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, my God. Every day, I was so consumed with that. That was most of my time being like, judd, no. God, no. This is for the pubes. And then I would get down on my knees, and I would begin to help.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you wait. You would help him with it?

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, yeah. What do you think my job was? I was the assistant.

[Scott Aukerman]

To be honest, I don't know. You've described your job several times in the past. Fantastic.

[Kayla Dickey]

But anyway, so obviously, Judd and I have a long history. Me and my girls were.

[Scott Aukerman]

He burned down the town. He fled up the Judd Weeby trail.

[Kayla Dickey]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which was not officially named, but it was named in his honor.

[Kayla Dickey]

And me and my girls were also Judd, as well, as my boyfriend at the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cart was having sex with him as well.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe I didn't remember that.

[Kayla Dickey]

Everyone. Everyone, Judd. And then doing up the trail.

[Scott Aukerman]

He went up the trail.

[Kayla Dickey]

He was living as a bear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. One day in. He killed. He thought he killed a bear, and it turned out it was a man in a bear suit.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Kayla Dickey]

And yeah. So then finally he came out of hiding, like, 10 years later.

[Scott Aukerman]

He wore the bear suit. He acted like a bear for 10 years, rummaging through garbage cans in the town.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, sorry.

[Flula Borg]

He murdered the man, then thought, oh, no, it's not a. It's not a bear.

[Kayla Dickey]

Right.

[Flula Borg]

Then buried this corpse and then took the suit and placed it on his own body and lived as a bear for a decade.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever heard anything like this? No.

[Kayla Dickey]

It's actually a pretty normal story.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I feel like we all heard it the last time we were here, I think.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. I don't think we need to go much further. We can get into anyway, so after the statue.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That was a great recap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome back. How long did that take?

[Kayla Dickey]

Was it like 20 minutes after the

[Scott Aukerman]

statute of limitations ended? He ended his life as a bear. You saw the him in your yard rummaging through your trash, and you said, judd, you guys got married. And then I don't recall what has happened after that. But you know what? We have to take a break.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

When we come back, you're gonna catch us up as to what has been.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay. So we're gonna come back. We're gonna have more with flula from flula makes five, coming out somewhere around September 19th. We also are gonna have Sprague, the Whisper, and Kayla Dickey. All of this and more. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. If you're trying to be more intentional about what you wear day to day, Quints can help with that. They've got pieces that feel easy, comfortable, and still put together. The fabrics feel elevated, and the fits are clean. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34. Lightweight, breathing, breathable, and comfortable. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you would find at similar brands. And Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. We hate middlemen, don't we? So you're getting premium materials without the markup. I just got a couple of pairs of trousers from Quince. 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Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Bang Bang. That is better. H E L P.com Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Flula Borg. Flula makes five. Which is a play on a famous saying. Baby makes three.

[Flula Borg]

Baby makes three. Which was. This was a small soap opera that took place in Southern Bavaria. Baby makes three.

[Scott Aukerman]

Baby makes three was. Oh. It's also a saying we say sometimes out here in America. I don't know if you know.

[Flula Borg]

Oh yeah, it's the show. That show was about 26 year olds that were trying to create a kickball team but you need three and no one was available so they borrowed.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you were saying it was about 26 year olds who were trying to become 3 year olds.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, that's Benjamin Buttoning.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah.

[Kayla Dickey]

No.

[Flula Borg]

And so they found the baby and then they are able to participate in the three person kickball tournament.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's wonderful. And do they win the tournament? No. Oh, okay.

[Flula Borg]

They immediately lost.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's a lot like Rocky. I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Rocky, but he loses at the beginning of that Rocky.

[Flula Borg]

He loses.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not what you think will.

[Flula Borg]

You're like, what will happen? Carl Weathers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. Call who?

[Flula Borg]

Carl Weathers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Carl Weathers. What?

[Flula Borg]

Carl Weathers. All incoming inclements.

[Scott Aukerman]

He got my ass. So Flula makes five. We also have Sprague the Whisperer here.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm here and I do want to say I'm still kind of reeling from the fact that you haven't heard from

[Scott Aukerman]

the Borg because even this is so weird.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Flula makes five. Even sounds like seven of nine. Like you have. I want you to go over there.

[Scott Aukerman]

We just need you to put some metal up on your face. I'm going to put my phone against the side of your face.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's a Borg right there. I just borked the freaking nanobots. Okay, wait, wait. After this part you've got ought to just do a little reading on the board.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. We're put you in touch with Scott?

[Flula Borg]

I will deep dive.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm glad to be here. Scott. This is great.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have. Kayla Dickey is here.

[Kayla Dickey]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

And before the break, she caught us up on what we talked about. Approximately, I think, when we talked about

[Kayla Dickey]

this a hundred years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, years ago. You married Judd.

[Kayla Dickey]

I married Judd. I lived on his compound with my girls for a bit there. Just like milking the goats and the cows and the horses and all that.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And the girls were. Worked at a bridal shop. Did they?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, we worked at David's Bridal.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Why do I know this?

[Kayla Dickey]

And then, anyway, I like, we weren't allowed Internet, but one day I found the Internet and I found out that there's actually a truck out there. It was on his iPad.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, you find it. That's weird.

[Kayla Dickey]

Which he keeps by the toilet.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, wow.

[Kayla Dickey]

So I just went in there and I was like, oh, my God. There's rumored to be. Because Judd at the time had the 550.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was already up at the 550. Cause I remember last. I feel like the one time we talked about. Have we only talked to him multiple times. Have we really?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, yeah, Multiple times. I even feel like Judd was here

[Scott Aukerman]

first time I met him. I remember he had the 450.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. So, well, he went up and then I found out that there's actually a 650 on the market. So I was like, I gotta go back to town. And then that's when I actually. I'm on the show today. Cause I'm on our new reality show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God, this is incredible.

[Kayla Dickey]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Reality tv, by the way, is not covered by struggle.

[Kayla Dickey]

So we can talk about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Thanks. Got it. TV star back on the show.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is going to be good for

[Scott Aukerman]

you instead of fucking more podcasters.

[Flula Borg]

Agreed.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is going to be good for you, Scott.

[Kayla Dickey]

All right, so it's called Love is Truck.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Love inches Truck.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, it's called Love is Truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love is Truck.

[Kayla Dickey]

And basically it's 15 men and 15 women vying to prove that Love is Truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting. An interesting thesis.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

How many trucks are there?

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, so every man has a trap.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every man has a. What does a woman have?

[Kayla Dickey]

Nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, they pay us just bikini.

[Flula Borg]

Are they single? Everyone is single or everyone is single.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Kayla Dickey]

And basically what it is, by the way, it's on Netflix. It's hosted by AI Vanessa Lachey.

[Scott Aukerman]

AI Vanessa Lachey.

[Kayla Dickey]

Nick Lachey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Where she's begging people to have babies.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. So they replaced Vanessa with AI Vanessa, because she was too crazy about the babies on Love is Fine. And so then they added normal of like, Nick Lache. Because he's like fully brain dead.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He's kind of already AI.

[Kayla Dickey]

He's already AI. He's already.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He's just an aggregate of information dumped into a processing.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I think they just tell him what to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

So was it accidental that everyone ended up being single on this show or was that just a coincidence?

[Kayla Dickey]

This is purposeful. So, yeah, so basically what they do is they put us all like. They glue our eyeball shut and they give us a sleeping.

[Scott Aukerman]

You glue them? Sorry, the eyeballs.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, we go to the. We gotta slow down. What? Your eyeballs are glued shut? Flula. You were disturbed by this as well? Deeply.

[Flula Borg]

That's why I said no words.

[Kayla Dickey]

Standard Netflix stuff. This is how they get you onto, like, said location, so you have no idea where you are. Okay, so we come to you and I'm just like in the cab.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're also unconscious.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, yeah. They give you a sleeping pill. This is standard Netflix. Like, also, by the way, they give you no food, no water, all alcohol.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So they give you no food. Well, that's not sense of them.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, see, that's what I said.

[Scott Aukerman]

But alcohol, they'll. They'll ply you with alcohol.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, yeah. No, you're. You're starting at like a cool like 10 drinks in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Kayla Dickey]

And then you come to and you're inside the cab of a truck, but you can't see anything because your eyeballs are still all fucked up. And you're sitting next to a guy and you have no idea how big the truck is or how small his dick is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, that's a. I mean, that's a terrible situation for you to be in.

[Kayla Dickey]

Isn't that crazy? Because I was like, the whole time, I was so nervous because I was like, what if I end up with a guy with a small truck and a big dick? I would die.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Now I. I feel like there must be a way to feel like you're in a big truck as opposed to a small truck. Like, what do you think of this?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think.

[Flula Borg]

What about honking the horn?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, that's good. Because it'll let you know the. The sort of size, the weight, and

[Scott Aukerman]

it's sort of like a bat. You would be able to hear the echoes, right?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. No. So you're not allowed to touch anything. Did I mention you're fully tied up?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. You didn't know?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This doesn't sound.

[Kayla Dickey]

It's just standard Netflix stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if someone has a really small truck, but it's like they use it really well? Like they swerve in and out and.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, my God, you know, a parallel park. It's literally never been the case.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you're tied up in the.

[Kayla Dickey]

Kayla, by the way, he has his eyesight, and he has. Like, he can move around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, I gotta say, Kayla, I'm remembering now that I'm constantly worried about you. And this just what you're describing to me. I don't know if this sounds fun. I mean, so you've done it already. You've already shot.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, my God. Yeah. I've spent the last 32 weeks doing this, and I've gotten paid $3,500.

[Scott Aukerman]

32 weeks.

[Kayla Dickey]

I had to quit my job, my family, everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

You quit your family?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. They make you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was that process?

[Kayla Dickey]

Like, this is standard Netflix stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that conversation like? Well, you can't fire me. I quit.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. No, I just had to go to my parents and have them sign this release that they won't speak to me, talk to me, or know what's happening in my rest for the rest of my life.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you got them to sign it or did you. What'd you do?

[Kayla Dickey]

I mean, no, they signed it happily. Like, honestly, they know that this could be such a big thing for me in the long run.

[Flula Borg]

What about Judd Weeby?

[Kayla Dickey]

So Judd is not on the show. But the thing is, like, where's Judd

[Scott Aukerman]

now, by the way? The last time we talked to him,

[Kayla Dickey]

the last time I saw Judd, he was on his compound.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Oh, okay.

[Kayla Dickey]

With all my girls.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Kayla Dickey]

But what's happened, which is so mysterious, is that every guy I've dated on the show has been mauled by a bear.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, okay, hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, interesting.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I need a couple of the details here. So, are they, what happens after you're in the truck? You're tied up and your eyes are glued shut.

[Kayla Dickey]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you don't know if it's a big truck. Small truck. You don't know whether it's a big dick. Small dick.

[Kayla Dickey]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

At one point, are you supposed to guess, like, yeah.

[Kayla Dickey]

So, well, I have to get engaged in order to meet the guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Kayla Dickey]

So when I was talking to this. These guys, like, some of them, I, like, found myself totally caught between two guys. Like, obviously, I thought that clog was cute.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Clog is cute.

[Kayla Dickey]

I thought snarf was awesome. But I really connected with Queef and Taint.

[Scott Aukerman]

Queef and Taint. So those are your main suitors?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, those two were awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

And did you. So did you pick.

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, yeah, eventually. But, I mean, first I was like, Queef was So awesome. Like, he's a realtor. And. And I knew he had a small dick because he, like, listens to Joe Rogan. He calls women females. And then at one point, he read me the text that Jonah Hill sent his girlfriend.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So as he's being read, you kind of like.

[Scott Aukerman]

He read this and said, like, hey, this is.

[Kayla Dickey]

He said, I actually have it here. He said, plain and simple. If you need surfing with men, boundary list. Inappropriate friendships with men. Men to model. To post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit. To post sexual pictures. Friendship with women who are in unstable places or from your wild recent past beyond getting lunch or coffee or something. Respectful. I am not the right partner for you. And I was like, wow, Queef. I am soaking wet.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you hear that whole thing and you're like, wow, this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

This guy's got his room in this underwear.

[Kayla Dickey]

He's, like, the smallest dick I've ever heard before.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you were into him. What happened?

[Kayla Dickey]

But then Tink came out of nowhere.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Taint.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how. Yeah, it's always the case.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Taint comes out.

[Kayla Dickey]

So literally Taint. Like, I mean, I just, like, fell for him because at one point he told me my voice was shrill. And then he read me passages from the game, which was awesome.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wow. I can really see you. I can see how much you were falling in love. Like, you look giddy right now.

[Kayla Dickey]

I was literally head over heels. And then at one point, he goes. He told me how every wild animal would kill me. So he was like, wolves would eat all of your organs first, but then bears would tear you limb by limb, and then a mountain lion would break your neck and gorge on my carcass. And I was like, wow. Fuck. Taint. Like, I am soaking wet.

[Scott Aukerman]

This guy. I mean, yeah, he's got game.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This was one of those techniques.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, it was like. Honestly, I was like, wow, okay, I'm ready to get engaged. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what. What do you do in a situation like this? And I don't know that you should be giving spoilers for this show that it actually is.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who knows?

[Kayla Dickey]

But anyway, this is standard Netflix, and

[Sprague the Whisperer]

they just want you to go on and spoil the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what did you end up doing?

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, so I was like, all right. I was like, taint. Like, I'm ready. Like, I like you. And so he proposed to me. And the way that that happens is I basically dress up in a prom dress, and then he.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Your eyes unglued yet?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, at that point, they finally cut open my eyes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Jesus Christ.

[Kayla Dickey]

The standard Netflix. And then he races his big cheese straight at me, and if he doesn't run me over, it's meant to be.

[Flula Borg]

And.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is he trying to run you over? And if he misses, though.

[Kayla Dickey]

If he misses, it's meant to be.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, so he has terrible aim. How does he.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, he was still so wasted. He fully missed me. But, yeah, Taint. And then he, like. You know, the thing is, I was so proud of myself because, you guys, he had a 750 that was only rumored to be. Rumored to be out in the screen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the truck. Oh, I thought you were talking about the size of his penis.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, so this. Even luckier. His dick is smaller than a dice.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Kayla Dickey]

You guys. You know, like a shoelace. Like the end of a shoelace.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What are those called?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I don't know, but they're an invention. People tell me about something like,

[Scott Aukerman]

that's where you're from.

[Kayla Dickey]

England. Okay, it looked like that, but like a dirt from, like, a dirty shoe.

[Flula Borg]

Congratulations.

[Kayla Dickey]

I know.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you were head over heels, and then you're saying he got mauled mysteriously by a bear?

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, so all the other guys, like Queef got mauled by a bear claw. Fog got malt by a bear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Aglet, by the way, is the.

[Kayla Dickey]

Thank you so much for teaching me that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? You learn something new every day if a man tells you about it. I hate to explain. Or mansplain.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, God. You're reminding me of one of the best dates I went on. I was with Taint, and he just started. Started explaining how to use a toaster to me for, like, I mean, four and a half hours.

[Scott Aukerman]

What were you getting wrong about the toasting?

[Kayla Dickey]

Nothing. I know exactly how a toaster, but.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

No, no. It's actually the thing if you don't actually put the toast. If you make sure that the toast is. I don't want to get into it.

[Kayla Dickey]

No, please do. I could listen to this for hours.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So it's like you want to toast it, right, and you want to set it at the right setting, because if you set it at the wrong setting, you might burn it.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, my God. I never thought of that. You're so interesting.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cool.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So too bad I ride around in my motorcycle, not a truck.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I'm not interested.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. So one by one, all of your suitors were getting mauled by a bear.

[Kayla Dickey]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what did you think about this?

[Kayla Dickey]

Nothing. I was like, at first, like, this is just standard Netflix stuff, but then after a while, I was like, actually, you know what? Maybe, maybe, just maybe, Judd's involved?

[Flula Borg]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is beggar's belief.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I mean, were there any other clues that led to Jed?

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, so then me and Tank got to go to the. The next portion of the show where we went to this beautiful resort in Cabo, and we were in the parking lot the whole time, and we just, like, you know, we. We went on these beautiful dates. Like, we drove around and we, like, ran over, like, small animals, like squirrels and stuff.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

By accident? No, that was the date. It was.

[Kayla Dickey]

That was the date. And then at one point, he took me to the mechanic and we just listened to the guy explaining exactly what he's doing in the truck from start to finish, which is all also so interesting. And then, yeah, like, we got back to the cab of the truck, and I was like, why do you like, babe, why do you look so gray?

[Scott Aukerman]

And he was like, gray, like, in color?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, not in mood.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Not like describing an emotion. Why are you so gray?

[Kayla Dickey]

No, I'm not a poet. He looks physically gray. And he's like, I don't know my stomach. Like, I think I just need to go to the bathroom. So then he left to go into the hotel bathroom, and I was like, oh, God. And I just, like, sat there, you know, like, counting the flat brim hats on the walls.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You were.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many did you get up to?

[Kayla Dickey]

200. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds like a great place.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Were you doing that thing where you was kind of sitting against the bathroom door, hoping to get a sound of a little action in there?

[Kayla Dickey]

I wish. There's no bathroom in the truck, so I was just in the cab sitting there.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[Kayla Dickey]

But then one of the producers came over and they were like, he's not okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's. So had he been attacked by a bear?

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, they said that he was attacked by a bear in the bathroom, which

[Scott Aukerman]

is so that him being gray didn't have anything to do with this.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This is really strange.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yes, it did. That's why he went to the bathroom.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Right, right.

[Kayla Dickey]

But then. But coincidentally, it's a crucial plot point.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Okay, so coincidentally, he was.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you were setting up that he was sick and was going to die of some sort of. But no, he just was mauled by a bear in the back.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I thought the twist was gonna be like, he's eating all. He was actually dressing up like a bear. He's eating all these human. All this human flesh and he was getting sick. That's what I thought the twist was.

[Kayla Dickey]

Well, like, for example, with Queef. Like, Queef found out, unfortunately, that he had cancer.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Jesus.

[Kayla Dickey]

But then he was mauled by a bear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So the cancer parts are even that important? Yeah, because he eventually died from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe the bear is attracted to. To infirm people or.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. But I don't know. There's just been a few clues that Judd's involved.

[Flula Borg]

Is Taint still alive or has he been killed in the toilet?

[Kayla Dickey]

Taint right now is on life support.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, no.

[Kayla Dickey]

In the biggest truck I've ever seen.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Is that the life support where they hook him up to a big vape and they have him inhale and exhale?

[Kayla Dickey]

It's exactly that. And he's just, like, stuck there watching people play video games, hoping. Hoping that it, like, recuperates him. This is one of his favorite things to do.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Just watch people play Fortnite?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. Like, I'm just so bummed because I don't get to do the rest of the dates with him. Like, one of them was to go to his friend's house and sit in the basement and watch them play video games for hours. And then. And one of his friends was going to show me porn on his phone and tell me I'm prettier than the girl in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

This sounds amazing.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This would have been romantic. I'm sorry, Kayla.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry.

[Kayla Dickey]

And then we were going to go and watch a series of YouTube clips of people getting into serious accidents.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You look absolutely heartbroken right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Terrible. I'm so sorry.

[Kayla Dickey]

I don't know what I'm supposed to do, because then I talked to one of the producers, and they're like, this is not standard Netflix stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Even they said that.

[Kayla Dickey]

I know. So I'm like, what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I don't. Maybe just go back to Judd. I mean, this seems like the easiest solution, right?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I mean, Kayla, I actually have a solution. You said they paid you $3,500.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. For 30. 32 weeks of work. Oh, no.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Three weeks of pre production.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Now, I've been suggesting this to you for a while, but I think you take this $3,500, you go down to the Ford dealership, you buy yourself a Ford, your own truck. You just put it. You put that money down.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't need a man to have one of these trucks.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You don't need no man.

[Kayla Dickey]

You guys have told me this before, and I so appreciate you explaining it to me.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Buying a car isn't hard. I could actually walk you through the

[Kayla Dickey]

old road if you want to tell me about it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

If you want me to come with you, I can talk to people I

[Scott Aukerman]

feel like you guys are maybe hitting it up.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hi. I got to be honest. We've gone down this road before, and every time that starts to happen, I come home, there's a bunch of bear droppings in my.

[Kayla Dickey]

Also, I just want to add.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you know they're bear droppings?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, I've seen scat before. Look, I've been up in Virefest in the Labrador region.

[Kayla Dickey]

I just want to add, too. I don't think Sprague and I could ever work out because his dick is just too big.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's a Twizzler.

[Kayla Dickey]

It looks.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a Twizzler.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So it's like.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a braided.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

She always says it's the right girth, but just too long.

[Flula Borg]

Too long.

[Kayla Dickey]

Right.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Something we've talked about a lot. But, Kayla, I want you to just. Can I ask you a question, Kayla?

[Kayla Dickey]

I guess.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Have you seen the Barbie movie?

[Kayla Dickey]

Barbie?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why'd you say that? Did you ever play with a Barbie when you were a young kid?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I did. They were all headless and naked.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, okay. Interesting, interesting. But did you see the movie Bobby?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I did.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So you saw how she kind of has her own. Sort of. She has her own car and her own house and all that stuff. That wasn't inspiring to you?

[Kayla Dickey]

I loved the patriarchy part where it

[Scott Aukerman]

just described the patriarchy.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you were like, stop right there. I'm good.

[Kayla Dickey]

When Ryan Gosling explains the patriarchy, I was like, I've had enough. I'm full.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, I didn't expect it to go that way, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, I don't know. I think going back to Judd might be just the best solution. I mean, it seems like the. Easy. You had a great thing going there, and tragedy befell all of these men that you were with. But, I mean, he's there for you, right?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I know. I mean, he is the best for me because he takes care of me. He feeds me milk.

[Scott Aukerman]

How does he do that? What?

[Kayla Dickey]

He wears one of those bras, but actually it's more like udders.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Like the weird fake dog udders.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. Yeah. And then he kind of like. What's that famous sculpture of the pregnant animal with all the nipples and breasts? You know what I'm talking about?

[Scott Aukerman]

You stumped me.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You're talking to a couple of idiots.

[Kayla Dickey]

It's like Roman sculpture. Anyway, it's like that. So I get down.

[Flula Borg]

All.

[Kayla Dickey]

Me and the girls get down, and we go.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I think that's. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know about this?

[Kayla Dickey]

What don't you know about it?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I don't want to be against a sort of polyamorous relationship. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, just because it's different, we're against it.

[Kayla Dickey]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe I'm just.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I'm in my own bag.

[Kayla Dickey]

I'm just like, I don't know at this point because I just want to be with the guy with the biggest, biggest truck and the smallest, smallest dick. And like, yeah, Judd's dick is small, but is his truck big enough and

[Scott Aukerman]

is his dick small enough?

[Kayla Dickey]

That's such a good question. Because up until this point, with Taint, like, I'd never seen a dick that small.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. How small would be Judge? Too small.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, impossible.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, like, like, if it were to go inside the body, like if it was a reverse dick.

[Kayla Dickey]

What?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What if it. Wait, wait, Scott, wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

You might be onto something like a concave dick.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, you mean like an inside dick?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, like an innie.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah, like sort of, you know, an innie. And then maybe, you know, you go up to their chest and instead of like sort of a rock hard chest, they've got like, you know, they've got breasts there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

The hair can be longer. Maybe they're a little bit more, you know. You know, they're slightly nicer to you. They might relate to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe they know how to please you sexually a little more because that's how they please themselves sexually.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And they don't drive a truck. They drive a Sebring convertible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Or a Cabriolet.

[Kayla Dickey]

I know what's happening here.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that?

[Kayla Dickey]

You guys want to watch lesbian porn.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although if you have any.

[Kayla Dickey]

I knew this was going to happen every time I come on here. You guys want to see me hook up with a woman.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's just you're so averse to a normal penis that I'm like, maybe you, maybe. Yeah, I don't. You know what? Maybe this is. I shouldn't be saying this. This is not my place to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever had, like, an emotional connection with another woman? Like one of your girls?

[Kayla Dickey]

I sleep with my girls all the time. We all hook up with Judd at once.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Seems like a little bit of a traffic jam there.

[Kayla Dickey]

But. Yeah. I mean, at this point, I'm just kind of like. I don't know. I. It's just too bad that no one in LA has a small dick.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, we all move out here because we have big dicks. Yeah. And you know, no one, no one who has a small dick has the guts to move out to la.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And, you know, when there's a strike, everyone's dick is just getting big.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

So that's tough for you.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah. Flula. What are your dick exercises?

[Flula Borg]

I just let it happen. Wait. I have a question about the nipples.

[Kayla Dickey]

What?

[Flula Borg]

So when Jet is wearing the nipple outfit, how many nipples are Mathia.

[Kayla Dickey]

There's like 12.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, it's. Oh, okay. From Romulus Remus.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Kayla Dickey]

That's it. That's the sculpture.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

A learned man. A man of the world. You've lived in several different. Hello? You've lived in several different studio apartments. Yes, yes, that's what I meant.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Are you sure you're not a Borg and you can't just access all information through the universe?

[Flula Borg]

I would love this so very much. Deep jealousy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I don't know, Kayla. I feel bad for you. You're in a bit of a situation.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

How you can come in. It's like, I want to have.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to help you. I want to fix your problems like a man is supposed to do.

[Kayla Dickey]

Wait, I got it. I think I'm just going to go for Nick Lachey. He's got to have a tiny dick, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably, yes. That's why he's. Yeah, he's had Vanessa Lachey. He's had Jessica Simpson. His two main relationships, you know they have to be attracted to small dicks, right?

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, I think that's it. Okay. I'm feeling so much better now.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is good. Just. Yeah, just hook up with him.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

This feels good because he seems like a stable guy, you know, so stable

[Scott Aukerman]

and happy to be on those shows.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Happy to be there. He loves to talk.

[Kayla Dickey]

I just like his dead eyes.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

He's not afraid that his wife is going off and going to get them both cancelled.

[Scott Aukerman]

He just seems everything out of his mouth isn't. Hey, hey. Okay. All right. Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. They're not cutting out.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Constant. Hey, baby, hold on.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, I love it when men tell me to calm down because it's easy

[Scott Aukerman]

to do when told. You're like, oh, I need to calm down. Shoot. Okay, I will.

[Kayla Dickey]

Calm down's actually really nice. I can't believe how worked up I was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is great. Kayla. Always a pleasure to see.

[Kayla Dickey]

This is so great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Always a pleasure to see you. Would it surprise you, though, to learn that we're running out of time?

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, my gosh. Did it go by that quickly?

[Scott Aukerman]

It went by so quickly. But we do have time for one final feature on the show. Show. And you know what that is? It happens to be a little something called Plugs. On this week's episode on time. There is only one who said that. Don't know how to see inspired if you open.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Don't knock your shoes.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I mean, technically, under a minute, 59 seconds.

[Kayla Dickey]

I felt as long as my explanation.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I gotta say, we might need that guy's information because we got to fill up some diamond fyre fest.

[Flula Borg]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was Stephanie out parentheses of the plug bag in parentheses by Pennedict Cumber Badgley. Thank you to pennedict. And if you have a plug theme, send it over to cbb world.com plugs and you can be famous for a week. And Benedict, you are officially famous. And speaking of another famous person, Flula, what are we plugging here? Oh, I have a. I'm. Hold my iPhone up to your face while you do this.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, hello, it's me.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, he's a bog.

[Flula Borg]

Hi, it's me.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not like you're answering it. It's like. It's like processing your face.

[Flula Borg]

Why am I holding it?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's a cortical nerve.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was going to hold it, but you took it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Put it on the side of your face.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the side of your face and then do the. Oh, no, that's.

[Flula Borg]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's perpendicular to your face.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, that's good.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That's good.

[Flula Borg]

And now I speak words.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sure, yeah. Speaks, like your normal language. This kind of sounds like Borgla.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, hello to you. It's me, Flula. Check out my podcast. That was supposed to be a television show. Flula Makes Five, airing September 19th.

[Scott Aukerman]

Somewhere around September 19th.

[Flula Borg]

No, exactly. No, exactly September 19th.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

It's Flula. Say this. Say this. Okay, not listening. You might want. You might not want to listen to my podcast, but resistance is futile.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, not listening. Well, you might want to not listen to my podcast, but resistance is futile.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Borg.

[Kayla Dickey]

Is that some Borg psychology Works so well.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, I'll take my phone back. Oh, yeah, it's not a parting gift. Sorry. All right, Sprague, what do you want to plug?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Well, of course Firefest to the redemption. Tickets are $6,000, and you have to prove to us that you can survive in the wilderness for 30, 40 days.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the tickets can only be bough in multiples of 6, 7, 6, 6 or 7. Yeah, yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

You either have an even number, an odd number.

[Flula Borg]

$36,000 is minimum payment.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hey, you want to come to FS?

[Flula Borg]

I do see Flula, do some spinning.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'll sell your documentary for, like, you know, six, seven figures.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We're going to make so much money licensing documentaries. But, like, do you have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have a little notice up there of, by the way, like, if

[Sprague the Whisperer]

you are shooting a documentary. We own 10%.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man, this is genius.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And of course, God, we have a podcast called Scott hasn't seen on CBB World.

[Scott Aukerman]

We just had our 100th episode.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We. We watched Mamma Mia. Here we go again. Live with a rowdy audience. Dynasty typewriter.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the audience was so, so rowdy.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Scott was a little too rowdy, but

[Scott Aukerman]

it was too rowdy for my taste.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

But there were no cops there, so everything was fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

There were a couple undercover cops I found out later. Yeah, yeah. But who were also there at January 6th.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Oh, wow. So which. There's a little bit of a conspiracy there, if you ask me.

[Kayla Dickey]

Cops have the smallest dicks. I'm obsessed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, you love.

[Kayla Dickey]

Love them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flula. You gotta. Come on, Scott. I haven't seen it.

[Flula Borg]

Join me. Yeah, let me try. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, great. You've got to. And Kayla, what are you plugging?

[Kayla Dickey]

I've been listening to these amazing. Well, actually, first, my show Love is Truck.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yeah.

[Kayla Dickey]

Love is Truck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Kayla Dickey]

Coming out on Netflix in, like a day or two.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, cool.

[Kayla Dickey]

And then, yeah, I've been listening to these awesome podcasts in the back of the truck called hey, Randy. And this book changed my life on CBB World. And then also following this amazing account that was hacked but is now back up and running.

[Scott Aukerman]

I follow that account religiously, I think. And I was. And I was just like, oh, my God, what's happening? How. I wonder how she got it back.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, she got it back because you have to have connections at Meta in order to get it back. So it took a really long time for her to find that. And even her agents and managers couldn't really help for that much of it.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And it had nothing to do with how confusing her hand.

[Kayla Dickey]

No, that actually was, like, very helpful for them. How unique it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's Y.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What is it?

[Kayla Dickey]

It's Y. L, Y.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Ask L Y.

[Kayla Dickey]

It's L, A, L, Y, L, Y. Right? L, A, L, Y, L, I, L,

[Scott Aukerman]

I, L, YI I think.

[Kayla Dickey]

Yeah, you got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, I want to plug while you're talking about CBB World. We have so many great shows over there. Not only Scott Asenstein. Not only. Hey, Randy. Not only the other one.

[Kayla Dickey]

You said, oh, my gosh.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Book changed my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

This book changed my life. But also things like who me with the Batman? He has his own show. Well, E. Pray Dunk with Bill Walton. So Many great shows. We have Entre P Noor's Entrepreneur Tour. So many great shows over there. Collegetown Hines to meet you. Hinds Prov to meet you. We also have ad free episodes of this show as well as all the archives. All the previous episodes of the show are over [e-mail] so.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

And there's something about Kushtopia coming out.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not sure about that. So just head over there to cbbworld.com. if you're only listening to Comedy Bang Bang, you're only getting half the story. All right, let's close up. The old plug bag doors are made

[Flula Borg]

for closing, so we take them up and shut them tight.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then doors are made for locking, so we take our key and make it right.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We turn it to the right.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Did you make that? That was that. Bang bang.

[Flula Borg]

I liked it. Yeah.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

That was so many drops in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was. I go plug in the bag by Tim.

[Kayla Dickey]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you to Tim. Is that a good stage name, Tim?

[Flula Borg]

Is it T I n?

[Sprague the Whisperer]

I think it's pretty good, actually.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not bad, actually. Guys, I want to thank you so much. Flula, always great seeing you. I know you're my direct competitor now with the podcast Impossible. So unfortunately, we're no longer friends. We're competitors.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you for assuming we were friends before. I'm so grateful. It wasn't that nice of me. Well, I assume everyone hates me, so this was a wonderful gift.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, not me. We love you here at Comedy Bang Bang. Please make a fifth appearance someday.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I would love to see what kind of guest would be on that episode.

[Flula Borg]

I am so excited.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

What random assortment.

[Kayla Dickey]

Freaks.

[Scott Aukerman]

And speaking of freaks. Hey, Sprague.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

Hey. I'm here, baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll see you on Friday. For Scott hasn't seen I'll see you on Friday.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

We're going to watch a movie you're not going to like, and then we're all going to go home sad.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, Kayla, good luck to you with your romance with Nick Lachey.

[Kayla Dickey]

Thank you so much. Please, will you explain to me how you set up all this podcast equipment?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, we're going to stop the podcast now. I'll explain all the microphones, everything to you. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks.

[Kayla Dickey]

Bye.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Sprague the Whisperer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Sprague the Whisperer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Sprague the Whisperer]

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[Flula Borg]

I know I can't wait.

[Sprague the Whisperer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Sprague the Whisperer]

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