Bonus Bang: Operation Golden Orb (Jason Mantzoukas, Andy Daly, Paul F. Tompkins)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang – Bonus Bang: Operation Golden Orb

Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Jason Mantzoukas, Andy Daly (as Byron Denniston), Paul F. Tompkins (as Andrew Lloyd Webber), plus various returning characters
Release Date: January 22, 2026
Original Air Date: March 12, 2023 (as #800)

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

Celebrating Comedy Bang Bang’s milestone 800th episode (as part of the Half a Hundo retrospective), Scott Aukerman welcomes longtime cohost Jason Mantzoukas along with returning favorites Andy Daly (as obsessive royal watcher Byron Denniston) and Paul F. Tompkins (as Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and others). The show becomes a riotous and character-packed exploration of royal family intrigue, the upcoming British coronation (dubbed "Operation Golden Orb"), podcast milestones, pop culture minutiae, and increasingly absurd musical and metaphysical battles.
Tone: Fast, loose, extremely improvisational, meta, gleefully silly, relentlessly referential.

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MAIN THEMES

• Comedy Bang Bang’s Endurance & Absurdist Self-Reflection
• Obsession with Royal Families and Coronations
• Meta-commentary on Podcasting and Pop Culture
• Character Improv Escalation: Musical Duels, Soul Bargains, Secret Plots

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1. CELEBRATING 800 — THE META-PODCAST EXPERIENCE

[03:00–09:15]

• Scott and Jason riff on what it means to have 800 podcast episodes:
  • Jokes about not remembering details:
    • “800 and you don’t look a day under 799. Come on.” (Jason, 04:32)
  • Self-deprecation about not knowing who the guests were, or what happened on old episodes:
    • “I have, like, five that I look back fondly on.” (Scott, 06:27)
  • Playful contempt for their own output and audience:
    • “We love that these fucking idiots keep listening to this garbage.” (Jason, 06:55)
  • Discussion of other long-running series, e.g., 60 Minutes, The Simpsons, and the surprise that CBB has outlasted them.

Memorable Quote:
“Keep my podcast name out of your motherfucking mouth.” (Scott, 05:10)

Tone: Sarcastic, winking at diehard listeners, increasingly meta.

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2. ROYAL FAMILY & POP CULTURE OBSESSIONS

[21:01–36:37]

• Introduction of Byron Denniston (Andy Daly’s immersive royal watcher):
  • Riffs as “immersive” observer:
    • “You are Donnie Brasco-ing yourself inside these royals.” (Jason, 22:39)
  • In-depth lampooning of Harry and Meghan’s kids’ titles, Prince Andrew drama, Frogmore Cottage eviction and details about taking home the crown molding:
    • “Harry and Megan pulling out fixtures and copper pipes…” (Byron, 31:38)
    • “All the crown molding is coming with them to California.” (Scott, 31:45)
• Survivor, The Mandalorian, Star Trek, and other TV obsessions recur, always with a CBB twist.

Byron’s critique on monarchy:

• “They have royal blood. The blood of God!” (Byron, 35:54)
• Jason: “Genetically, they are perhaps the most flawed people on earth!” (Jason, 35:27)

Timestamps:

• 21:31–29:09: Byron describes his “direct source” methods as a royal watcher
• 29:09–36:00: Parodies of Survivor/royal family analogies

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3. BUILDING TO THE OPERATION GOLDEN ORB

[36:28–46:17]

• Byron announces the coronation’s secret codename—Operation Golden Orb (36:28).
• Details about coronation plans: King Charles needs the crown resized for his “enormous head.”
• Event plans: Elton John (inevitably) to perform, plus Eric Clapton, Van Morrison, Morrissey, Roger Waters, and even Grandpa Gary Glitter in a tongue-in-cheek “villains of classic rock” lineup.
• Byron: “It’s a 40-minute set of just two songs”– riffs on anti-vaxx/anti-Semitic stage banter.

Notable Exchange (on Elton John’s inevitability):

• Byron: “He’s been described as unavoidable.” (40:31)
• Jason: “Like true modern villains!” (41:08)

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4. ESCALATING CHARACTER CHAOS

[52:36–107:11]

• Introduction of Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber (Paul F. Tompkins):

  • Discussion of Cats, Phantom, what he did/didn't write.
  • An original “moon song,” allegedly commissioned via a misfired Neil Armstrong email, is performed (55:52–56:36).
    • “The moon blows its nose on a tissue / looking down at your fare…” (Andrew Lloyd Webber, 56:18)
  • Dispute over who wrote Les Misérables; confusion is embraced as running bit.
  • Jason reveals musical theater aversion—“I truly hate musicals, no offense…” (69:17)

• Introduction of Hot Dog (famed CBB character):

  • Hot Dog and Andrew debate rhyming constraints of writing a “waterskiing musical.”
  • At one point, it is revealed that Hot Dog water skis on sausages:
    • “I’m the only person currently in the continental United States who skis on sausages!” (Hot Dog, 109:43)

• The Grizz (evil nemesis, water polo instructor) emerges:

  • Grizz demonstrates his power to become water and offers Byron a true Faustian bargain for his soul—so he might become the “devil” at the coronation if supplied with a soul as currency (104:00+).
  • Stakes escalate: Satanic right vs. divine right in British royal tradition.

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5. MUSICAL CLIMAX: SONG CONTEST FOR BYRON’S SOUL

[110:05–114:24]

• Songwriting contest is staged, Devil Went Down to Georgia-style.
  • Hot Dog’s entry: an earnest “Dip do wop” doo-wop riff (111:35).
  • Andrew Lloyd Webber’s entry: a pastiche of endless self-referential phrases and a plea for Byron (112:55), performed with impromptu musical grandeur.
  • Judges (the rest of the cast) swiftly declare Hot Dog the winner.

Memorable Moment:
“Make it like your work up til, what, 1984, something like that.” (Scott to Lord Webber, 112:30)

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6. DEALS WITH THE DEVIL & AFTERMATH

[115:02–117:16]

• Grizz takes Byron’s soul (Byron: “I feel less of a man.”)
• Byron “wins” a ticket to the coronation—but only for the runoff room (overflow, bad angle, cheap chairs).
• More confusion over plus-ones, betrayals, meta commentary on deals with devils and social hierarchies.
• References to Pyrrhic victories—“It feels like a pirate victory, you know…” (Byron, 117:26)

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7. PLUGS, CALLBACKS & FINALE

[118:00–121:00+]

• Plugs for guests’ actual projects:
  • Jason: How Did This Get Made?, and CBBWorld exclusive shows.
  • Byron (Andy Daly): “Royal Roundup” podcast, only available on Andy Daly’s Patreon.
  • Andrew Lloyd Webber (Paul F. Tompkins): “PaulFTompkins.com/live”
• “Hot Dog” (water skiing behind the Malt Shop Memories cruise), and Grizz (“I like water. No place I’d rather be than water.”)
• Discussion of the upcoming Comedy Bang Bang book and live events, riffing on its increasingly labored official title.
• Running bits on national anthem lyrics, multiple callback song snippets, and the perennial invocation of Shanana for the coronation concert.

Final thank yous, confusion over who is whose plus-one, and a sign-off as playfully unresolved as the episode itself.

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HIGHLIGHTED QUOTES & SEGMENTS

• On Podcast Longevity:

  • “I don’t give a shit. But, hey, we love that the fans keep track of this stuff.” (Scott, 06:51)

• On Royal Watcher Immersion:

  • “I find my way into the lives of the royals.” (Byron, 22:28)

• On the Inevitability of Elton John:

  • “He’s been described as unavoidable.” (Byron, 40:31)

• On the Allure of Power:

  • “They are, they have. They are genetically… blessed by God.” (Byron, 35:17)

• On The Grizz Bargain:

  • “Put it on paper. Your immortal soul belongs to the Grizz.” (Grizz, 103:06)

• On Song Contest Stakes:

  • "This is for the soul of Byron Denniston." (Scott, 111:28)

• On Losing One’s Soul for Tickets:

  • “You’ll be in the runoff room. It’s not the best angle…” (Andrew Lloyd Webber, 116:14)

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IMPORTANT SEGMENTS & TIMESTAMPS

• Comedy Bang Bang 800—Meta-Reflections and Milestones: [03:00–09:30]
• Byron Denniston’s Royal Watcher Introduction & The Royal Family as Survivor: [21:01–36:00]
• Coronation Planning and “Operation Golden Orb” Details: [36:28–46:17]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Songwriting and Musical Satire: [52:36–66:12]
• The Grizz & The Devil’s Bargain (Escalating Plot): [95:16–106:56]
• Hot Dog vs. ALW Song Contest for Byron's Soul: [110:05–113:22]

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EPISODE TAKEAWAYS & FLOW

• Peaks of hilarity come from unpredictable character improvisations, sharp-edged meta-commentary, and the cast’s willingness to plunge into increasingly bizarre plot developments involving royalty, Satanic rituals, and musical face-offs.
• Longtime listeners will catch endless callbacks and evolving running gags (Shanana, Hot Dog, Byron’s creepy obsessions, ALW’s showbiz beefs, endless confusion over who wrote what musical, etc).
• By episode’s end, the meta-reality of “800 episodes means anything goes” blends with the absurd conclusion: souls bartered, coronations theoretically attended, and all contest outcomes rendered gloriously pointless.

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RECOMMENDED FOR

• Diehard Comedy Bang Bang fans, fans of improv and character comedy, listeners fascinated by meta-podcasting and the uncontrolled escalation possible on veteran comedy podcasts.

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Note:
For all song parodies, callbacks, and in-jokes, tune in around [55:52], [110:05] (musical face-off), and [118:00] (plugs and closing musical bits).

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“800 episodes. Come for the coronation, stay for the soul-stealing water polo instructor and the sausage-skied hot dog.”

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Off go test yourself hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang from behind the Paywall and we are on the eve of our 950th episode coming out this Monday. So in honor of that, this week's bonus bang is the final installment in a series called Half a Hundo. Now Half a Hundo is where we are revisiting previous milestone episodes of number 700, 750 and 850 is half a Hundo and this episode is called Operation Golden Orb and it was originally released as episode number 800 on March 12, 2023. Now my co host is Jason Manzoukas and our other guests include royal watcher Byron Denniston played by Andy Daly. We also have Andrew Lloyd Webber played by Paul F. Tompkins and there may be some other characters who come in there that you'll hear. It's a very, very good episode. If you enjoy this and you want to hear other very very good episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents and Scott Hasn't Seen and the Neighborhood Listen in Collegetown. Become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the archives. We have every live show. Everything's ad free. We have ad free new episodes, more original shows. We're going to be back Monday with episode 950 of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus ban. Come. And. How much different would Mamma Mia have been if they had named it Daddy Yowza. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Ah yes, thank you to eat your fart out for that wonderful catchphrase submission. Eat your fart out and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week, week or episode at least 800. 800 of the comedy Bang Bang podcast. Welcome. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have a great show coming up a little later. We have a person in the, I guess in the entertainment industry and then a person in a different industry in the music industry will be here. But first, let's get to our guest of honor. He has been on the show ever since the days back in the beginning, very first year, 2009, I believe. And look at us, episode 800 now. You know him as he was in the Dictator and nothing else. I'm struggling to think of it. Oh, no, that, that, that, that Mark Wahlberg movie.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh. Infinite.

[Scott Aukerman]

Infinite, of course. Which you can see if you can.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Stream on Paramount plus.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you have to look up? Do you have to, like, go through several layers until you get to the heart of the Matrix in order to find it on Paramount plus now?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Absolutely. You have to dig so, so deep. There's so many sub menus. It's in dystopic futuristic. Or you can just keyword search my character name. The Artisan.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Artisan, of course. Welcome back, Jason Manzoukas. Hello, Jason Scott.

[Jason Manzoukas]

800 episodes. 800 and you don't look a day under 799. Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my goodness. I'm trying to think of anything else that has 800 of itself.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, right. You would think, you would think.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was that show? The 500?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That only had 500.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't even think they got to 500.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The reality is, like, is 800 too many?

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably, yeah. I mean, if you really want to go back and just like, you know, prune the episodes, I would say we have a Good. What are 70?

[Jason Manzoukas]

A great question, actually, because I talk to people so often about the podcast and about like, what an inclusive about this one. Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Keep my podcast name out of your motherfucking mouth. Wow. By the way, last night was Oscar's night to shine. Oh, boy. Of the 12 days of Oscars, we.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All know what happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boy. Wow. Could you believe all the everything that happened last night?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I can't believe how many people they forgot in the In Memoriam. And this year they added a bunch of still living people.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was so weird. They were like, we think this year maybe.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that would be good.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I feel like the In Memorial get ahead of it. The In Memoriam needs a coming soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. The coming attractions coming.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The trailers. The trailers before and 2024, 2023 sees the drop of.

[Scott Aukerman]

It'd be. It would be Interesting to see how many they got. Right. It was like. Because, you know, that's. That's what the original Deadpool is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. A Deadpool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. A pool of, like, who's going to die this year?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Absolutely. Oh, but what I was going to ask you is just because I hope.

[Scott Aukerman]

Deadpool never dies when.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, he can't. He has that healing factor.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What I'm curious about is because I struggle with this a little bit when I'm talking to people about the podcast and advocating on its behalf. What are your top 200 episodes?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't have the top 200 episodes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What are the top 200?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have, like, five that I look back fondly on. Where I'm like, I could listen to that again.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you think you could. Do you think you could right now just name the names and guests of two of the 800?

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course not. I. I had. I'm trying to think of, like, who was even on last week.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I know, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I don't give a shit. But, hey, we love that the fans keep track of this stuff.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, we love that These. These fucking idiots keep listening to this garbage. We'll keep pushing it to you. Get ready for the book. Idiots.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have your own podcast? I do. Do you like any of those?

[Jason Manzoukas]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you ever listen to one for pleasure?

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's a brazen cash grab. Just like this turkey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is a bcb. Brazen Cash. Oh, no, it's a bcg.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bcg.

[Byron Denniston]

Brazen.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought it was big chunky Bubbles. Was that what I was trying to. I was gonna say it's a bcb, Like a big chunky bubbles.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, I mean, you could have a B. Bbcg.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Well, of course we would, but, Jason, you're here. It's episode 800. I'm trying again. I'm trying to think of anything else that has 800 of it. Can you think of anything? I guess, episodes of 60 Minutes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Sure.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, there can't be 80060 Minutes episodes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, there has to be.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really? How long has 60 Minutes been around?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like 40 years, hasn't it?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, it doesn't come out every week.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, no, they take. No, they take summers off.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Seasons. How many? I Bet this is 860 Minutes. I'm going to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think there's lead? There is not. There are 55 seasons.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Of how many episodes each? Three.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think they're only doing four?

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's like Luther. It's like Luther. There's only three?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They've done 55 seasons of probably. I would say.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How many?

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably 30 apiece. 30 per season.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, That's a lot. It is, but is it 800?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm looking up 60 Minutes episodes and all I'm getting is season 55 has 24 so far.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

David Byrne is being interviewed on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just in time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Thank God.

[Scott Aukerman]

In Memoriam coming soon.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Talking about speaking in tongues.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway. But it's quite an accomplishment, if I do say so myself.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It really is something to be celebrated, even if you can't speak positively about any of the past episodes. Episodes. What's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. This is the one you should be paying attention to. The rest don't even bother going back. But this is the one we. We should be paying attention.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is. This is. Here's what I will say. I feel confident in saying this is the jumping on point.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is where. This is where finally. Where it crystallizes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is the first.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're like, oh, they finally figured out what they were doing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The first 800. Kind of just table setting and warmup. It's everybody figuring their thing out.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's basically like the first season of Tulsa King. Oh, that's right. We talked about Tulsa King last week. But it's basically the first season of Tulsa King where it's like, get him to Tulsa. Meet his friends.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, it's like episode one of season three of the Mandalorian.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Remember Boku?

[Scott Aukerman]

Remember Grogu? You like Grogu.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Remember Grogu?

[Scott Aukerman]

Remember Grogu? Do you remember I finally got you to sing on the show? I really appreciate it. That's the one exception.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I will. Will you do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Will you do Grogu parody songs? Can we expect an album of Grogu parody songs?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Incredible news.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I have some incredible news.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How many episodes of 60 Minutes do you think they're okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to guess I'm going to. I have a little dry erase when.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You were on the phone earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so there's. But I will say there's 55 seasons. I'm going to say they do 40.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Anybody else would like to just chime in there? They're more than welcome for a brief moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I'm gonna say 2,200.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. 2,500 episodes of 60 Minutes. So you're close.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Price is Right rules. I'm right there. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm gonna say one episode. Shimmy. Hey, you still are gonna say one. I heard Price Is right. And I just had to jump in. So you're saying one episode in case we all went over. Yeah, exactly.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You should have gone first. Holy shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, Chevy, it's great to see you. Gotta go.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay. And he is gone.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's gone, man, so quickly. He's like, slippery as an eel.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's like. It's like Tron. He's on, like a light cycle. He just moves at all right angles. He's out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

You excited about the neutron, right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Dance the neutron dance, baby. Pointer Sisters, let's do this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry to pause in between my sentence.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, I. You noticed. I waited. Yes, I waited for you because I knew you were going to the.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would be so amazing to have the neutron movie. Have the neutron dance be the first thing that pops up. It's like, I'm so crazy doing the neutron. And then they mute the pointer sisters, and everyone's like, yes, they finally got it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I am, is my answer. I am excited for the new Tron. Can't wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can't wait. Cannot wait. Both Tron. Such exciting movies.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, but, well, I will say, thank God that it's. I guess now it's ip. Now Tron is ip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tron is ip. What were you going to say? Thank God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Thank God it's not based on, like. Come on. It's like. No, it's an original idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, thank God Tron is an original idea that doesn't exist yet. That things that's been around since 84.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I wasted so many. Wasted or away. I wasted them away again in Margaritaville. No. I wasted so much time playing the Tron arcade game.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, me too. I loved it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It was impossible.

[Scott Aukerman]

I loved it, though.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Same.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would waste all my paper route quarters.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. Give it to me. Give me.

[Scott Aukerman]

And every. And every month, when I would have to pay the Orange County Register, like the money for the papers, I'd be like, I don't have enough. I played Tron too much.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I was the opposite. I was. I mean, not the opposite in that sense, but I was so uncomfortable with the part of the paper route that was collecting the money from people.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you had a paper route, too. Which paper did you do?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The Daily Evening Item from Lynn, Massachusetts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And it was an afternoon paper.

[Scott Aukerman]

They could. Could have just called it the Evening Item. Like, we get it. It's daily.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess you're right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I guess day and then evening. It's like, I'm confused already.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I might be wrong. Maybe it was just called the Daily Item. Maybe I'm oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you did it. You delivered it afternoon.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I did it after school.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But I was so uncomfortable and maybe not shy, but just uncomfortable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Collecting.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Collecting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That I wouldn't. And from any. From everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I. And I would. If people canceled, I would forget to cancel it with the paper. And so I'd be. Supposedly I'd be paying extra for their subscriptions for months.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They should not put 12 year olds in charge of money.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like would call my parents to be like, we have to pay Jason for the papers. Like, this is. We haven't paid him in a month or whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little shy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I just was so uncomfortable with it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder if any of those neighbors have tracked you from then till now and are like, who is this animal?

[Jason Manzoukas]

What's wrong with this kid?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, episode 800, by the way, if you're listening, send us anything else that has 800 of it. I wonder. There must be 800 Simpsons episodes, right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

No way.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet there is. Number of simpsons. I'm just kidding.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I bet you're right that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, 743.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

We beat the simpsons.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This show is more by the hours, significant. The simpsons by more influential. More influential.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're going to stop saying simpsons did it and start saying comedy bang bang did it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know, and that's the reality after the simpsons. So many. There is a simpsons episode coming up where they say comedy bang bang did it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why haven't I been on the simpsons?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why hasn't comedy bang bang been featured on the simpsons?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, why haven't you been on. Have you been on the simpsons?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Never been on the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why haven't we been on the simpsons?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Doughboys were on the simpsons. Fucking doughboys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doughboys.

[Jason Manzoukas]

God damn doughboys. We're talking spoon and burger doughboys.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, I'll be on doughboys in a few weeks.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but fucking doughboys.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Fucking doughboys. Fucking doughboys are on the fucking simpsons. What is simpsons? What, is there a pizzeria regina in Springfield? You know, it's shit, Mitch.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, it's just because of the dough thing that Homer says and they're like, oh, wouldn't it be so funny if homer was like, dough boys?

[Jason Manzoukas]

And you know, they're tied to the simpsons because Mitch worked there. Mitch worked there, and it's a whole.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know I've known someone longer, God damn it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't know salman at all. But I'm not on the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you are on star trek prodigy. Of course. You play whatever scumbag character jenkum Pog.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Good old Jacob Pog. A teller. Right. A 16 year old teller. Right. Just another one of my. One of my deeply researched teenage characters that I play.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you pay attention to the scripts when you're doing stuff like this or is it all just. Just gobbledygook and the show comes out and you're like, oh, that's what I was saying.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What do you. Wait, do you mean like Star Trek stuff? Like the specific Star Trek lore?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you read the script? The whole script and nothing about the truth?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I can't handle the script.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? Because I was doing a cartoon the other day coming out. I recorded it six months ago.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, what's the car. Can you say.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't want to say at this point, but I recorded it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Say it to us and bleep it.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we're out of bleeps. But oops.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All bleeps is the F I thought we were doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I recorded it six months ago and I didn't know what the fuck I was saying. I was like, why am I saying any of this stuff? What is it? They sent me the animatic the other day because I had to come in and do pickups and I was like, oh, I see. I understand what's happening.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did you then have to redo it because.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, I was so good that they.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. So, I mean, yes, sometimes I read the whole thing. Cause some shows that I do, there's a table read of the full script.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

So you really have a complete understanding of what it is. But then some, to your point, are just. I'll get like two pages of just my lines and I'll do three each of my lines. And then it's. Then it's kind of out of context when that happens.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're just like, oh, I'm just going to read these lines and not even know what I'm saying. It's like, acting is easy. Yeah. Why are we pretending it's not?

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, no. Well, that's. That's why the only people who will give actors awards are other actors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. The SAG Awards, you know, it's not. Oh, thank you. Other actors. You wish you were getting this yourself. I bet.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like there's a Nobel Prize for acting or a MacArthur genius grant for acting. The only people who will give actors awards are other actors. Yeah, that's the deal.

[Byron Denniston]

Boom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stupid idiots.

[Jason Manzoukas]

These not just. And the writers.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the right. The right. Everyone. Everyone in show business is terrible other than podcasting.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But. And well, but I Mean, like, isn't the Podcast Awards just the same exact they keep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every year they come up with the new Podcast Awards because they're like, we should be the Podcast Awards.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then they are there competing podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Every year they come up with a new one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I thought. I think. I thought every time they were the same one.

[Scott Aukerman]

They should be. It should just be the Grammys. Like, let the Grammys take over for the Podcast Awards. You know what I mean?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You mean there should be a podcast Grammy?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Yes, exactly. Okay, Grammys should take over because it's recorded. It's a recorded medium, for fuck's sake. Anyway, I'm long past being wow. Being nominated for any of these because episode 800. We're no longer fresh. We're no longer new. This is the jumping on. This is the one that gets the awards.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know what? Why don't you make this episode one? Why don't you do 52?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, we should Star wars this, where it's like, we've done the 800 episodes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then it's been the prequel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Should I not mention Star Wars?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hey, we're talking about me being on Star Trek Prodigy. So no Star Wars.

[Scott Aukerman]

No Star wars talk. Okay, Sorry, sorry, sorry. Although you did mention the Mandalorian and you sang what are your grogu parody songs.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, what are my grogu parody songs?

[Scott Aukerman]

You could do any grogu parody song.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Where are you going? What? You just wanted that door to be closed?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, there's an echo of that door.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, I see. I got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're back.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We're back.

[Scott Aukerman]

We just stopped down for about six.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hours to do some handyman work at the house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Had to fix a hinge.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're on hinge.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am, which is great.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We had to fix Scott's hinge profile.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Shimmy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, Shimmy was in that room.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, shit. Open it up again.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

What's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Shimmy. Sorry. In or out, Jimmy? Well, I guess I'll just stay here. Okay, yeah, no problem. Bye. Bye.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gotta stay. Good guy. Such a good guy. Well, Jason, we have to get to our next guest, if that's okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I would love nothing more, Scott, but truly, congratulations.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much. Thank you for being there since the beginning. Really appreciate your support.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It makes me full of such gratitude and honor that I was at the radio station. Our very box record, A Ship Called Hope.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I was there in the room where it happens.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. You're a big Hamilton fan. I know that. Speaking of Hamilton, Lin Manuel Miranda Did a introduction for the Comedy Bang Bang book coming out, coming out in a few weeks. So I have a copy of it right here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I've been leafing through it, and it looks fantastic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very exciting.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm a fan of most of the people in the book.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, just let me know on Mike, who you're not a fan of.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What I'd love to do is take a Sharpie and just cross out a bunch of pages.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, sure. Just rip them out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah, I'll rip them out. And if the publishers can go ahead and do that with every copy, that'd be great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, no problem. All right, well, we need to get to our next guest. He is. I'm wondering if you've ever met this guy. He is. I think he's been on the show like, once before. Four, I think. And I'm not sure if you were there when he was on, but he is what's known as a royal watcher.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, Scott, I've definitely met this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've met this guy?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

In a previous episode or off mic.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I've met this guy so many times. Some people might say they're not interested in me talking to this guy anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, the fans. But the fan.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Singular. Ah, the fan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, the fan. Are you talking about the Robert De Niro movie? Wesley Snipes?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. You want to hit on this? I mean. Yeah. Sorry. You got to stay. You got me. All right, let's bring him on. He is a royal watcher. He is. Closely watches the royal family, the monarchy there in England. Please welcome back to the show Byron Denniston.

[Byron Denniston]

Thank you. It's wonderful to be here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Byron, great to see you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nice to meet you again. Nice to meet you again.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm very interested in speaking with you. I don't know interested in listening at all. But I'm glad to be here and.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Glad I don't care about the other people, because I'll be honest, never before I feel like in my lifetime have the royals been so prominently featured in pop culture.

[Byron Denniston]

It's extraordinary. What a time to be American. The royals, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

What a time to be staring at them all the time, as I do. It's a wonderful time.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were. You were on the show before and you've talked about. You were on the show before.

[Byron Denniston]

I believe I've been on this show before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And we've talked about how you. There is. It's sort of a cottage industry, royal watching out there in England. You do it a little bit differently.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I. I suppose, yes. I would Say I do it a bit better than most, you know, most sort of rely on friends of friends as sources and whatnot. And I'm. I'm more of a direct source. I. I find my way into the lives of the royals.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. What. What's interesting about you, Byron, and you've profiled it. We've. We've talked to you many times as we profiled you in the past, but you are an immersive royal watcher.

[Byron Denniston]

That's a good way of putting it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're not out watching from the scrum, from the street. You are undercover. You are Donnie Brasco ing yourself inside of these royals.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was Donnie Brasco undercover, or was he the guy that was looking at the people who are undercover going, are you undercover?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sorry, wait a minute. Go again. Do it again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was he that. Was he the guy who goes under his dialogue.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I liked when you did his dialogue.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or is he the guy going like.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The guy that says, what are you undercover?

[Scott Aukerman]

Or, hey, I'm undercover?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The latter.

[Byron Denniston]

Those are the two choices.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're either. Hey, Donnie, we need you to go into a I'm undercover scenario. Nada. Are you undercover?

[Byron Denniston]

Are you thinking of a departed scenario? That's more of a are you undercover scenario, I guess.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And no, I'm undercover.

[Byron Denniston]

That movie was too many things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, can I ask a question? Yeah, Jimmy, what's up? I mean, what's the people sitting down Brasco in to ask? If people are undercover, wouldn't they already know who's undercover? I can't come. I can't hear you. Come in here. All right, all right, Jimmy, what was it was your question. Yes, Mike, Wouldn't the people who are sending Donnie Brasco in to find out if people are undercover, wouldn't they already know who's undercover? I'm not like they forget. No, I'm saying, is Donnie Brasco the guy going, I'm undercover, or is he the mob boss going like, are you undercover? Are you undercover?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, wanted to know which.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, I'm wondering if he the mob boss job to ask people if they're undercover? Yeah. Is he Jack Nicholson or is he.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, you think Jack Nicholson is in Donnie Br.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I'm saying in the. In the Departed analogy also, who is he telling I'm undercover?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who? I guess whoever is cover the film.

[Byron Denniston]

Is called Donnie Brasco. Who is Donnie Brasco In Donnie Brasco, Is he the other person or guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Undercover or is he the guy going undercover?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You undercover is in the movie saying with everything but words, I'm undercover.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so body Language.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All of his actions, all of his. Everything is I'm undercover.

[Scott Aukerman]

These mob guys got to read, like, body language. Oh, yeah, they should take.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Course, Al Pacino is the low level.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. That's right. That's. I remember this movie now. Yeah, Good stuff. What am I undercover? Are you undercover? No, of course not.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, are you for real?

[Scott Aukerman]

You have. My voice is saying I'm not undercover.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Correct. Truthfully, are you under an undercover cop?

[Scott Aukerman]

See, that's the thing, you know, to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Take on, like, the criminal element of podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, the whole thing of, like, if you're a cop, you have to tell.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why don't they ever bring that up in these undercover mob movies?

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, agree. From what I understand, that's not true.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Apparently that isn't. I think it's just in the uk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's in the uk. Those are Bobby, yeah? Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

If you ask a bobby. Are you a bobby? They're allowed to say no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like if he puts a regular hat on over his big, tall helmet.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, no.

[Byron Denniston]

You're only allowed to deny it if you are dressed as a bobby.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many times? Three.

[Byron Denniston]

Three times. Deny it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like Peter denied our Lord. Indeed.

[Byron Denniston]

And then you must tell them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Jimmy, thank you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And it got religious. Shimmy. Got out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Easy. It's gotta go. Ask for forgiveness. Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you think that. Is he religious?

[Scott Aukerman]

He's either religious or he hates religion. I can't quite tell.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I feel like if he hated it, he'd have a lot to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that we'll ever find out. Byron, welcome back to the show.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Wonderful to be here. What a time to be watching the royals. Big news today, you know. Archie. Archie and Lilibet have been styled as Prince and Princess. It happened. It happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

I heard about that. That's Harry and Meghan's kids, right?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. Sussexes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They finally. Are not denigrated. What's the word I'm looking for? They're.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They're.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're talking about the denigration of their children.

[Byron Denniston]

No, those children have been denigrated enough.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think, quite frankly, they've been delineated, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. As Prince and Princess, I don't. Designated. Designated. Yeah. That's probably departed.

[Byron Denniston]

No, not the depart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Internal Affairs.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Infernal Affairs. Differentiated.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, no, that's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

All I gotta say is, you Talk on Mike 800 episodes in a row and see if anything you say makes sense after a while.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's your excuse?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

You've had too much practice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

All right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hello. Malcolm Gladwell. Your bullshit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not up to 10,000 hours yet.

[Jason Manzoukas]

10,000 hours?

[Scott Aukerman]

800 episodes at maybe 90 minutes per. I'm only at 1,000 hours at this point. I need to do another. Wow.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Okay.

[Byron Denniston]

You're no Beatles of England.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

You guys know the Beatles?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

European rock group.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah. Not just European, but British. In fact.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's part of Europe, though.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, in Germany. Well, are they German?

[Byron Denniston]

No, Hardly.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

Not at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Never.

[Byron Denniston]

No. Really quite British, but yes. Not only that. Not only are Archie and a little bit Prince and Princess now. Why thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just tipped Byron. Am I supposed to tip you? I never know what the rules of tipping are.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no, we don't really do it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

My services it back then.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or is it.

[Byron Denniston]

No.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right. Is the VAT included on this. On this appearance?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Consider.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you supposed to just take the credit card thing from me and put in all the stuff?

[Byron Denniston]

I beg your pardon?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't like that. I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, but every.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Every credit card now to the table.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

In Canada and they stand there. But here too, they do it everywhere. They stand there holding it or with you, like just watching.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That really.

[Byron Denniston]

She'll ask you if you want to add a tip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

And then you have that mind.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't mind the kind of looming pressure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let me. Let me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me figure out the math on my own.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Let me use my fingers. I gotta use my fingers. I don't want you watching me.

[Byron Denniston]

Interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't like anyone watching you when you use your fingers.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, no, no. No blindfolds for everyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. When I.

[Byron Denniston]

It's the moment I'm done with a meal, I expect the check. That's one thing about me at a restaurant, the moment I put the last.

[Scott Aukerman]

Isn't it weird that. That servers in general seem to forget about you once the plates are down?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, they do.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then will go by and you'll be like trying to get their attention.

[Byron Denniston]

I have a habit of dropping the fork very loudly on the plate after the last bite. Clank.

[Scott Aukerman]

Done. And if that isn't hindering, throw up your hands. Survivor style. You stick out your tongue for inspection.

[Byron Denniston]

Does that happen on Survivor?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, when they're eating the worms and the. The pig guts and all that kind of stuff. The pig rectums. They always have to go like, that's.

[Jason Manzoukas]

A show that's got to have. Or maybe not. Like a. Because they're in 27 seasons of that show or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, 44 seasons is really. Yes. They're in their 40s.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Have you watched every episode?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah. I don't remember it being on 44 years ago, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it was 24 years ago. They did two a year.

[Byron Denniston]

No, that can't be right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Sorry.

[Byron Denniston]

The other thing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you a bit of a Survivor watcher?

[Scott Aukerman]

A little bit, yeah. I enjoy Survivor. Yeah. Not. Not to the extent that Adam Scott does, but where, like, he's sitting there in the reunion shows, like, in the audience.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, is he really?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I didn't. I had no idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are the cameras always glimpsing, like, him out in the corner of the frame, you know?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, you know, Survivor is not that different from the royal family when you think about it. Alliances and eliminations and whatnot. It's really gotten.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought about this. Maybe I should start watching the. I was gonna say Survivor Royal Edition. Oh, yes.

[Byron Denniston]

It really is quite a bit like that, isn't it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, maybe they should all be on an island again.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, Harry and Meghan seem to have been voted off the island.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, yes, precisely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were they the first ones voted off?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, you have Prince Andrew, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. He's not coming back.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think he thought for a while he might have the immunity idol, and he does not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every once in a while, someone who's voted off will go to Redemption Island. There's no Redemption island for Prince Andrew.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, on the other hand, he. As you may have heard here across the pond, old Harry and Meghan have been escorted out of Frogmore Cottage. And who's living there now but Prince Andrew.

[Scott Aukerman]

Prince Andrew is in Frogmore? Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Andrew's in Frogmore.

[Jason Manzoukas]

First declaration was more frogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes. He was like this. Because I want this place to be called Frog most.

[Byron Denniston]

It will be Frogmost. It will be styled as Frogmost. And, you know, they put $3 million into renovating it. Did Harry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Harry and Megan?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, they did. And then they've been simply. Their father said, well, you can't have it anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can they take all this stuff they put in out?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, that's what I understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're, like, lugging the microwaves out.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I heard Prince Andrew requested that they leave all of the season posters for suits on the walls.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I understand that. And she's fine up to where she left.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then the ones with Katherine Heigl, when Katherine Heigl replaced her, there's like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Half of the Season 5 poster. I may be getting the math wrong on that.

[Byron Denniston]

A terribly undignified process of Harry and Meghan pulling out fixtures and copper pipes and whatnot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. Crown molding.

[Byron Denniston]

All the crown molding is coming with them to California.

[Scott Aukerman]

Recessed light lighting.

[Byron Denniston]

Pulling it out of the ceiling. Yes, all of it. They want all of the bits and pieces and the Carrera marble and all that. It's been, it's been terrible.

[Scott Aukerman]

But they're doing it themselves. Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, they're doing it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm on their side.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, you are?

[Scott Aukerman]

Regarding this issue, I think it is.

[Byron Denniston]

Terribly undignified for it for a form.

[Scott Aukerman]

To be replaced by Andrew.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They've also been like, like they've also been so removed from the, the royal family. So removed from all of the creature comforts and all of the support systems. I heard that they had to like call friends with trucks and promise them pizza to help them move.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, pizza and beer.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Pizza and beer. Like that's where they're at.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

They had Posh and Becks and James Corden helping them move.

[Scott Aukerman]

And was James Corden dressed up like the mouse, like he was in that video of him trying to promote the Cinderella thing where he like stopped traffic and waved his little bud?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, of course. I don't even know what that is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you gotta see it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Amazing.

[Byron Denniston]

Think how annoying moving van karaoke would be. That's what it very U Haul karaoke.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just trying to execute a three point turn in a car that you have no view of the rear.

[Byron Denniston]

Trying to synchronize his song to the backup beeps and whatnot.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many beats per minute is this?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. So that's happening. And then of course, plans for the coronation are well underway.

[Scott Aukerman]

The coronation, when is that?

[Byron Denniston]

May 6th. Or as we say in England, the.

[Scott Aukerman]

6Th of May 6th. May 2023.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So this will be the crowning of, of King Charles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has he just not had the crown put on his head? What, what if he put it on earlier?

[Byron Denniston]

No, he wouldn't have had access to the crown.

[Scott Aukerman]

It does. Why? Where's the crown?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, they keep it in the Tower of London under. Under guard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Under guard. Wait, so they took it off? I'm sorry, I just. I want to know the. I want to know the, the, the, the, the, the details, the nuts and bolts of this. Did they take it off of Elizabeth's head? Was she wearing it when she passed away?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The. No.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, the moment she died, they had to pry it out of her fingers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Her cold, dead hands.

[Byron Denniston]

Her cold, dead hand.

[Scott Aukerman]

A. In Charlton Heston's hands.

[Byron Denniston]

Which, from what I understand, I'm no Heston watcher, but from what I understand, they were not able to pry it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's buried with it with that rifle.

[Byron Denniston]

Not for lack of trying. They were not able to get it out.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they pried it from her hands. She was clutching it to her bosom.

[Byron Denniston]

Indeed, indeed. And then they. They conducted it straight to the Tower.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of London and by via taxi or. How did they do?

[Byron Denniston]

Again, it was Cordon in the van.

[Scott Aukerman]

So Cordon's just at. He's on.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, he has a van and he sort of put it out there.

[Scott Aukerman]

He has a desk.

[Jason Manzoukas]

His Demi Lovato is in the passenger seat. They grabbed it and they took it right there.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's sort of singing songs along the way. My question is, does the crown get resized?

[Byron Denniston]

What a good question. Yes, it does. And unfortunately, King Charles has an enormous head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. So they have to add stuff to him.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's got one of those big old heads.

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So are they adding his head? And his hands are really, really kind of like big and, and.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

He will not wear the traditional gloves. Coronation Day gloves.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they adding like gold and jewels and stuff to it? Yes, because I'm having.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What a.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a racket. Have a big head and then they have to add jewels.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'll be honest, Byron, and speaking to you as someone who is from the uk, I cannot understand why the people of your country allow for this family to keep all of the land and riches for themselves.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you mean?

[Byron Denniston]

How could you not understand it? They are the sovereign, they are the monarch. They are, they have. They are genetically, you understand? Blessed by God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Genetically, they are perhaps the most flawed people on Earth.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, what do you mean?

[Jason Manzoukas]

They are on the verge of implosion.

[Byron Denniston]

How dare you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, just genetically, you have like two of the three of them are bald already.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They actively melted.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, if.

[Byron Denniston]

If the rest of us do not resemble them genetically, it is we who are at fault. They are. They have royal blood. The blood. The blood of God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was there a thing where, like, are all those stories about, like the lady in the lake and the. And the sword and all that kind of stuff? Yeah. Were they, were they chosen by God to do this?

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

It was God himself who handed.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just brought up God to see if Shimmy would pop up, but I guess, I guess he's anti religious.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's really steering.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that, Jimmy in A N A. Not available. Thank you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

All right, not applicable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, got it. I don't discuss Religion.

[Byron Denniston]

Do you know that the coronation has been given the code name of. Codename named Operation Golden Orb?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. I used to play Golden Orb with my friends.

[Byron Denniston]

By who? By like.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like the Secret Service.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Jimmy's back.

[Byron Denniston]

I probably should not have revealed that name.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got excited.

[Byron Denniston]

It's a. That's an internal MI6. Only MI6 agents.

[Scott Aukerman]

How did you learn? Me?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, because I say, you know, I sometimes walk around MI6 dressed as an MI6 man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Smart.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How does a MI6 man dress?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, in a suit and tie and wearing sort of the face of an MI6 man who has gone missing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're talking like a Mission Impossible meets James Bond.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. We had that technology where we had like fake masks.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We can do face off.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's just a matter of slicing off the face of a man who's gone missing and wearing it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

About him I get by biometrics, metric scans. Do you have to wear his eyes? Do you have to wear all the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you collect eyes. I think we talked about in a previous.

[Byron Denniston]

I have lots of eyes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, they were. You were using them in the Scrooge Gang heist. Correct.

[Byron Denniston]

I can pass just about any biometrics.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so you. How many eyes do you have if you could pass any bio.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Here's the thing. Do you think you have more than 800 eyes?

[Byron Denniston]

I'm sure I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

We found one.

[Byron Denniston]

I have eyes that can get me into any museum. Eyes that can get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, are there only 800 eyes in the world?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you just gotta cycle through them.

[Jason Manzoukas]

People talk about how like, unique eyes are, but there's only 800.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And that's the thing is they're just spread out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They should use fingerprints for this.

[Byron Denniston]

There's only 500 fingerprints.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You don't know that? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

No idea.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, 1200 snowflakes. Anyway.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Not in the. Not in this country.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, don't get tricky. Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

There.

[Byron Denniston]

I'll say.

[Scott Aukerman]

What else? What else is going on in the coronation? Because it's.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, you know, we don't know yet whether Harry and Meghan will attend the coronation. They have been invited, but we don't know yet whether they'll make the trip.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, boy.

[Byron Denniston]

Isn't that fascinating?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a long trip.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you think they should be there or that they shouldn't? Are you of the opinion that the things they've done and said should make them. Should ostracize them? Or are you for welcoming them back to The Freedom family.

[Byron Denniston]

I. My opinion is that Harry should go and Megan should stay behind in Montecito, where I'll be at that time, and throw a party.

[Scott Aukerman]

Throw like a.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

A.

[Scott Aukerman]

A pajama party, Something like that. You know, maybe where she's in her underwear like 10 other girls with pillows.

[Byron Denniston]

Get a bit loose.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Scott, what's your deal, man?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just saying, if she's gonna be at home.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Byron was talking about what he was hoping, and you just jumped. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trying to get an invite.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Jason to the Meghan Markle?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, to his. Him watching it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, I see. Like you wanted, you're fashioning some sort of Porky's style.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Like, people type thing. Yeah. Do they have a locker room there in Montecito?

[Byron Denniston]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So there's locker room talk.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Showers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Steam room.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are you guys gonna do a panty raid?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is this? Panty raids are weird, right? I used to read about them. What do you mean? I used to read in, like, as a teenager.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Panty Raid Weekly.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, as, like, books I would read. They would go panty raid.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, you really think about movies, too, of the time where dudes would, like, run up with a ladder to a college dorm, put the ladder against the window and then run inside.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then they would, like, run them up, like, a flagpole and stuff, and they would. Yeah. Display pantry.

[Byron Denniston]

There are much more professional ways to go about getting your hands on the underwear of someone whose underwear really want to have, like. What? You're not going to run them up a flag pole? You're not going to yell panty raid at the top of your lungs.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I agree with that. Although I am kind of on board for running them up a flag pole. That's. That's a flag I would salute.

[Byron Denniston]

All right, well, I'll consider it. There is going to be a concert in laser light show. Would you like to hear?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Let me guess. Elton John.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Elton John's appearance.

[Scott Aukerman]

God, this guy.

[Byron Denniston]

He's been described as unavoidable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because he was supposed to retire. Yes. And he's been going around on this. This is my last show ever in this particular city. Yeah. And then he does, like, 800 more shows.

[Byron Denniston]

I was present. King Charles was asked his opinion of having Elton John perform, and he said, there's no point having an opinion. It will happen. Won't it Seem sort of upset? But there will also be a performance by Eric Clapton and Van Morrison will get together.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Good. Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You are kidding. Yes, they will. You are kidding. Like true modern villains.

[Byron Denniston]

What do you mean villains.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, deeply anti that.

[Byron Denniston]

These are legends of classic rock and roll.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Racist and anti Semitic.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, they're going to be premiering two new songs written for the occasion. One called you can keep your microchip, Mr. Gates, and another called I'm not sorry, I'm War White.

[Scott Aukerman]

And.

[Byron Denniston]

From what I understand, it's going to be a 40 minute set with just those two songs, so we're promised a lot of stage banter.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And I heard that Van Morrison is rewriting one of his songs to be Blue Eyed Girl.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, My, Blonde Haired and Blue Eyed Girl.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Blonde Haired, Blue Eyed Girl.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes. He's rewriting a bunch of the oldies. Yeah, There'll also be Morrissey, Roger Waters, and fresh out of Wandsworth Prison, Gary Glitter.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, wait, King Charles is gonna pardon Gary Glitter?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, he was out. He was released. I did read that. I did read that.

[Byron Denniston]

He was released into the care of Prince Andrew, and the two of them have just been shuttling back and forth between Bangkok and London ever since.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They're all researching a book with Pete Townsend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, research.

[Byron Denniston]

Townsend will be there, of course. The Pointer Sisters performing Neutron Dance, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. Are they gonna stop before they say dance?

[Byron Denniston]

Probably, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Byron Denniston]

That's about it. There is an effort to get some more LGBT performers involved, but the King has said preferably not Boy George, but he's willing to have him there if need be.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder why.

[Byron Denniston]

I don't know. There's been some talk of having the alive members of Dead or Alive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Yeah. The people who fall in that column.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

That one. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. Apparently, yes. That band cannot be booked Dead or Alive, as their title says. They won't have the dead one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Interesting. Well, I mean, this is quite a celebration.

[Byron Denniston]

It's going to be one to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you going to be there?

[Byron Denniston]

I will absolutely be there. Well, I'm not done yet. There's another band called Sha N that will be there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Byron Denniston]

Hold on, hold on. And then a band called the Light Fandango, which is a Moody Blues tribute band. Hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Go back. Go backwards.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go backwards.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say less that Shanana is going to be there.

[Byron Denniston]

A band called Shana will be there.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That. The Light Fandango is a Moody Blues tribute band.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, not a Pro Haram tribute band fan.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, it doesn't really matter.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they don't even know the music that they're tributing.

[Byron Denniston]

It's maybe not the tribute the Moody Blues would have wished For Moody Blues.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they sing pro haram songs as a tribute to the Moody Blues.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

They must be very honored. I hope the Moody Blues are sitting there having to listen to it, too.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And Eric Clapton and Van Morrison will join them for A Whiter Shade of Pale.

[Byron Denniston]

The Moody Blues have pitched the band some of their own songs, you know. You call yourself the Moody Blues Tribute Band. Can you play some of ours?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But it's been.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but back up. I want to hear about Shannon. Shannon going to be there. Yes, yes, we know who they are.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, you do?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, they're an American institution here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

But also, I. Jason, I feel like we've heard. We've talked about channel on this program before. I know this is a jumping on point. We shouldn't be discussing earlier episodes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know what, though? That's good, because people who are jumping on now, you know. By the way, welcome, welcome, welcome to bang bang, episode 800.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're finally here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Slash episode one.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right. So there is some history. I will say there's a little bit of shared history in the last 800 episodes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Jason and I have heard about this banshana a lot, I feel like, from another guest, but we don't need to get into that. We don't need to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's not that kind of show.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't need to summon him at all. But that's interesting. I wonder why they're performing.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, evidently their performance on the Malt Shop Memories cruise fell through. Malt Shop Memories Cruise. Cruise.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they able to get malts on cruises these days?

[Byron Denniston]

That may be in problem.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's just the ingredients. Like, can they take them on a. Wouldn't it all melt? Like, holding you back?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wait, do you think they don't have, like, freezer or fridge capabilities?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have no idea what they have on cruises. Do they have freezer capabilities?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know what? I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you called me on it and.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I immediately caved because I don't know either. I've never been on a cruise.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have no idea. Well, this is very interesting, Byron. We're coming up here on a break, but.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, I haven't even told you about the most exciting. Well, I'll save it for after the break. The most exciting musical performance of the entire.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a good team. I enjoy this. So we're gonna take a break and when we come back, you're gonna tell us who the most exciting musical performance is. And it's gonna be at the coronation. Plus we have another guest coming up, someone who's in the music business.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I guess you really jumped business.

[Scott Aukerman]

Episode 800 is off to a rollicking, rollicking start.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is where it all began. People are going to say like, what was your introduction to the show?

[Scott Aukerman]

And episode 800, of course, episode 800, obviously. One.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, exactly. That's when I started. I Did you ever listen to any of the old ones? Not a single one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Never and I never will.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Redeeming in them at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have more with Jason Manzukas. We're still gonna have more with Byron Dennison, plus another special guest. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just beginning or ready to grow your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website, upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, premium workshops. So much stuff. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code bang bang to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain. Happy New Year. That's right, a new year is just about to be here. We have colder days. Well, this is the moment that your winter wardrobe really has to deliver, right? So if you're craving a winter reset, start with pieces truly made to last season after season. And Quince brings together premium materials, thoughtful design and enduring quality so you can stay warm, look sharp, and feel your best all season long. Their outerwear is especially impressive. Each piece is made from premium materials by trusted factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. I got a bunch of stuff from Quince right now. I have a really good jacket that I've been trotting out during the holiday season. I love the outerwear. Everything is so good and so comfy. And looks good. Every time I wear something, my wife says, who's that from? And I say, say quince, my dear lady. And then I bow and she curtsies. It's a whole thing that we have. Anyway, Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com Bang Bang for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com Bang Bang free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Bang Bang. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Boy, I tell you, I, I'm looking forward to getting rid of some stuff around the house for 2026. For instance, the crib that we've been using, we're finally getting rid of that. We're phasing in a big girl bed. That's gonna make me feel lighter in 2026, right? Well, a new year is a new opportunity to feel lighter and you don't have to become a new person to do it. Signing up for therapy with better help can shine a light on what's been weighing you down and illuminate possibilities for the year ahead. BetterHelp handles the initial therapist matching work for you. All you have to do is just take a short questionnaire. This questionnaire is super short and you share your needs and your preferences. And thanks to BetterHelp's industry leading match fulfillment rate, they usually get your match right the very first time. And you know what, if your match isn't the right fit, switching to a different therapist is super easy. Let BetterHelp provide you an unbiased perspective on your life so you can head into the new year taking only what truly serves you. You can't step into a lighter version of yourself without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Therapy can help you clear space, sign up and get 10% off. BetterHelp.com Bang Bang. That is BetterHelp.com Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Jason Manzoukas is here of the daily evening item. So this is a newspaper that only had one thing in it? Yes, Every day, one item. Here's the thing you should know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Single issue paper.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have Byron Dennist who is a royal watcher. He's been on the show several times before this.

[Byron Denniston]

800 times. I just counted.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been on 800.

[Byron Denniston]

I have been on the show 800 times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wouldn't surprise me. I don't pay attention. But welcome back to the show for your 800th appearance and Byron Are you gonna be at the coronation?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I. I'm not quite sure. I was. It all depends on where Megan's going. You know, if Megan's going to the coronation, I'll sort of pat myself into.

[Scott Aukerman]

One of her trunks. You're focused on me, Megan. Is that. Is that. Pretty much. I would say yes, because it used. Who were you. You were watching others, right before this?

[Byron Denniston]

I've watched many others. I've watched, you know, some of the lesser royals. Lady Amelia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Byron Denniston]

But I sort of ran into some trouble there. But, you know, I. I've. I've watched a lot of the. I. I really enjoy watching the young ladies.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And then he really just came out with it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Jason Manzoukas]

If you let him talk enough, he really just walks himself right into it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

They.

[Byron Denniston]

They just seem to be up to the most interesting things. And so, yes, it's really been Megan for a while now, and so I'm sort of deciding.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And you have no problem with the fact that she's American?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

Somehow there's something about those eyes that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just.

[Byron Denniston]

Hypnotic and it's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Byron Denniston]

Wonderful. It's wonderful. She's a wonderful princess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful. Well, incredible. Now, before the break, you said you had some exciting news about. About who was going to perform at the coronation.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Do you know Prince Charles?

[Scott Aukerman]

I do, yes. He's the guy who's going to be king.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, he is king. I'm sorry, I misspoke. King Charles III is a tremendous fan of Cats and he. Of the musical. Not the Animals.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not the animals. Does he like the animals?

[Byron Denniston]

I don't think so at all. No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Weird to like the musical without liking the animals.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I think he feels that the musical takes the piss out of the animal a bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I wonder if people are allergic to the music.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You don't also have to take the piss out of the animal. The animal will get rid of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. Boy. We've learned that the hard way here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Aukerman Compound.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, my.

[Byron Denniston]

But the composer of Cats is a fellow by the name of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, and he has been.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hate to interrupt, but he is not a sir. Oh, he's a lord. That's what I said.

[Byron Denniston]

What did you say? No, I said Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? No, I said Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. Oh. Maybe. Maybe you're confused because maybe you said Andrew Lord Webber or something.

[Byron Denniston]

I think you must have said sir. But he's. He is a lord, and he has been asked by King Charles to compose an original song for the event of the coronation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. That's exciting news for one of the cats.

[Byron Denniston]

I don't know if it'll be. I don't know, will it be James.

[Scott Aukerman]

Corden as the cat?

[Byron Denniston]

But you know who I brought along to explain it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who?

[Byron Denniston]

The Lord himself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh. Andrew Lloyd Webber. Hello. Yes, I live in breed.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

My dear boy. How long has it been since.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

How long has it been since last we laid eyes upon each other?

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you say, and now I'm done? After every sentence, and now I'm done? Okay, thank you so much. I couldn't even tell you. At least a year or so, right?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I mean, yes, at least a year.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now I'm done.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And now I'm not done. Okay, now you can't force it, dear boy. You cannot force it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't force it. Now I'm done.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You can't force it. Now I'm done. We are reunited and it feels so good. Now I'm done.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, thank you so much. Well, it's so wonderful to see you, Lord.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Wonderful to see you, Ed. Jason Mansuk. Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What a delight it is. I don't think we've ever met. And it's an honor.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Of course we've met, my friend. Of course.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, I mean, like, we. We hang out together.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

An email went around some time ago where everyone was meant to be BCC'd, but we were CC'd. And that is how I came to have Andrew Lloyd Webber's email address. And so I email him all the time. And on this occasion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, who is the whole was sending that email? Neil Armstrong. Neil Armstrong. Boy knows. Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

No, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

The American astronaut.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Your American astronaut.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

One of the star sailors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why was he emailing you, if you don't mind me asking?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He wanted me to write a song about the moon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And he accidentally copied his entire address book.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's. He was older, so, you know, it makes sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I hit a.

[Byron Denniston]

And everything.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Everything else filled in.

[Byron Denniston]

Did you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And did you end up writing the song?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, I did.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

What can we hear a little bit?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Absolutely. Up in the sky there sits an orb.

[Scott Aukerman]

We see it every night.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It looks upon us with remorse. It does not understand applied.

[Scott Aukerman]

The moon cries for you. The moon sheds of tear.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The moon blows it nose on a tissue Looking down at your fair. And then the trumpets come in. And then the saxophones, and then the cellos, and then the piccolos, and then the mini piccolo.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I am confident and comfortable saying that's the best. Andrew Lloyd Weber Song I've heard in 25.

[Byron Denniston]

It's very good. Thank you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Actually, very good.

[Byron Denniston]

It's as good as anything you wrote for Les Miserables, which is my favorite, my absolute favorite of all the Lloyd.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Les Miserables now I've grown to tolerate. We become because we are united in our love for the royal family.

[Byron Denniston]

Hear, hear.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But not only. Did you misunderstand my rank. No, no, no.

[Byron Denniston]

That was God, I believe my stature.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I am a baron Andrew Lloyd Webber, a peer of the realm. Yes, but I did not write Les Maison Armois.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, you must add, though, it's so wonderful.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Do you think I wrote all musicals? Do you think Rent is one of mine?

[Scott Aukerman]

Didn't you write 40 seconds read?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But that was an accident, Right? I forgotten it was an existing musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just wrote it verbatim.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It was. There was some significant differences, but for the most part it was. Well, it took place on 41st Street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, and. But for the most part, yes, it was identical in every single way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did you write Knights in White Satin?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I wish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you write that Canned Heat song? Do you know which one I'm talking about?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Going up the country.

[Byron Denniston]

Don't you want to go?

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't write that song.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But I did told him to sing like that. I did tell him to sing like that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That does sound like a little like Shimmy sings. That's fine.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I said sing it as though you're in a can and it's very hot.

[Byron Denniston]

What a good idea.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I also suggested they change the name to Tinned Heat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, yes, of course. But so. So, Lord Webber, you are writing this song for the coronation.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes. A great honor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can it be about any subject or does it have to be about. About the coronation.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It must be about the coronation of His Majesty King Charles iii.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And will this song forgive me and maybe this is what I mean.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I can go off on tangents. Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is this song going to be sung by Elton John? Is this in conjunction with. Or is this two separate things?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Pardon me.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, it will most decidedly not be sung.

[Jason Manzoukas]

One of Andrew members teeth just fell out.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Inverted comma, el inverted K to John.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you still upset that Tim Rice started writing musicals with Elton John instead of you?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I say let the devil take the booth.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. No, I mean, Tim Rice went to much success with Elton John.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, but he had to be around Elton John.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That would be a musical. I would watch the devil taking both Tim Rice and Elton John.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Stick around for you because coming soon, I have something to debut with.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Episode nine.

[Byron Denniston]

You know how you can challenge the devil to some sort of a contest, right? Wouldn't it be something to see? A songwriting contest between Tim Rice and Elton John versus the devil.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who.

[Byron Denniston]

Who might write a better song?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The devil wouldn't even need to cheat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although I bet he would like start playing his electric guitar or it's a.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Fiddle or his violin, you know. You know Devil Went down to Georgia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's what I mean is like suddenly he's like, oh, I'm playing my. That's exactly.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Do you know the song that Went down to Georgia?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry? Cuz he. Cuz he starts playing you.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You tell me he.

[Byron Denniston]

Was that one of yours? That's one of yours, isn't it?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The devil win 10 the Charles Daniels.

[Byron Denniston]

D. I guess I'm not as familiar as I thought I was with your.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Next you'll accuse me of right to take this job and then Shove it by Jonathan Paycheck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Sir Jonathan.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He was recently kned. He was recently kned.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He was originally born in England.

[Byron Denniston]

They'll knight anyone, it seems, you know.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes. He was looking for a silver steel. He was in bind. He was way behind and he was looking to make a deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Way behind on what?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Souls.

[Scott Aukerman]

Souls. But like he has a quota. He's his own boss.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What's he answering to?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Don't you care about what you do?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Should the devil be any different?

[Byron Denniston]

He has pride. His pride in his workmanship.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He set a goal for himself. Did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pride is a sin.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That's right. And who better to pre. The devil observes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. So it makes sense.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It makes eminent sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Anyway, he starts playing his fiddle. But it sounds like a guitar. Goes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Johnny, Johnny. The fiddle player has only his fiddle. Sure, the devil has a fiddle. Led to imagine sounds exactly like an electric guitar and a full backing band.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems unfair.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And yet he is the devil.

[Scott Aukerman]

Devil. But.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But the devil, as honorable as ever, concedes the battle and says yes, you have won. You. You objectively played better than I did.

[Byron Denniston]

True. However, there is a sequel song. Did you know that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't know that.

[Byron Denniston]

There's a sequel song to the Devil Went down to Georgia years ago. I think it's called the Devil Went down to Georgia Again. And it's.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's that simple.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Is that simple.

[Byron Denniston]

And there's a whole. Well, it's a star studded array of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Should we hear some of it?

[Byron Denniston]

I think why not?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Let's just see what we got. Oh, there's an ad for Chrome first. This Is not the song.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I thought it would sound country musical.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You don't subscribe to it?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, no. You're Victrola.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, dear me. I've spilled water on things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, we're almost done with the ad. There's no place like Chrome is what it says.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That sounds like song. A song that would be played in the end credits of Chappie.

[Byron Denniston]

What?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

There's no place like Chrome. So the song starts in the middle?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, it's the sequel. So you know how it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. This is like. Previously on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, you don't need it.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Devil, Georgia.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Little recap.

[Byron Denniston]

Ten long years since the devil laid his fiddle. This is Johnny Cash.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Johnny Cash. His mind, the way he suffered that.

[Byron Denniston]

Defeat in the darkest pits of hell the devil hatched an evil plan. See that? Not so magnanimous after all he's just a mortal man the set of pride.

[Scott Aukerman]

The devil cried Is what will do.

[Byron Denniston]

I thought we had this settled. I'm the best it's ever been. I forget. Who plays Johnny?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I was gonna say who's the young voice?

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Byron Denniston]

Someone like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but yeah, Sequel song. Does the devil win this time?

[Byron Denniston]

I believe so, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good. He takes them all. Takes Johnny Cash to hell.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, he is Johnny Cash.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. Johnny Cash.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The Row Love stated himself.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who better?

[Byron Denniston]

The man in black.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

He said.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

So mysterious. And, you know, he said he would wear black because the suffering of man was still so much with us. And until every person was free, he would wear black.

[Scott Aukerman]

Johnny Cash said this?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes. But I think it was because he was a little tubby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Black is slimming. Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Would have been ideal casting for any.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of the roles Johnny dad bought.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The Proto Dad Ball.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They should come out Borgnine in appearance.

[Scott Aukerman]

They should come out with posthumous albums just as Johnny dad bought, and just see what happens.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You could do it with deep fakes. Just Johnny dad bod. You know, have him tour the whole thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

I wouldn't mind seeing some sort of a face off between Johnny Cash and Johnny Paycheck Chick. The Giants, where they swap faces.

[Scott Aukerman]

Face off.

[Byron Denniston]

Would you rather have a check or cash?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, always cash.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

What if Eddie Plastic went up against a Teddy Paper?

[Scott Aukerman]

Johnny Credit Card gets involved.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Eddie Money, Any money.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he can be involved.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Kevin Venmo.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Jim Paypal, Josaniel. I believe you had a question earlier.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, I don't care. Let's pass it.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're doing this? You're doing this song?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes. It's my honor to do so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you written it yet or are you still noodling on some ideas?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'm in the process of it, but you know what I'm going to do, and this is. This is a little tricky. Please cut this part out of the box.

[Byron Denniston]

Podcast.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do I.

[Byron Denniston]

Are we.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're. I mean, I'm sure that our editing machine is fixed by now. If not, we'll figure it out soon because little Reggie.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Dwight is going to be there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Elton John. Now they say that he got his name, his stage name, because he was on the toilet when he thought of it. Is that true?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, but that's. I started that room up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

What kind of a man names himself after a toilet?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

We don't even use that term.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's why it seems so unbelievable.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But I, Stewart, would take root here because Americans will believe anything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just like the gerbil thing with Richard Gerbil.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I started that with Richard Gerbil. I said, you know this chap, Richard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gerbil, you know, in the Pretty Woman.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He followed seven gallons of seamen.

[Byron Denniston]

Sir Rod Stewart.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mean the Pretty Woman poster. Did you know the original thing said Richard Gerbil and they crossed out the bil and put an E?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Isn't that crazy?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow, that's so interesting. Interesting?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. How.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What else happened with it?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was the end of the story as far as I heard. But yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Any.

[Byron Denniston]

Any sort of changes to Julia Roberts name? It was adorious. Julia Roberts. Right from the start.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Okay, so Julia Roberts Hamster.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you have. You have some ideas for the song.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to rewrite one of my own songs.

[Byron Denniston]

Songs.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've written so many great songs.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Just like Elton John did with Candle on the Wind.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Exactly. He's.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's wr.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He's written one song twice about two different dead people.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

So I'm going to write. Rewrite one of mine about a living person. His majesty controls the world.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is your original about a dead person or it's about.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, well, it's not. It's about a living person.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're rewriting one song about two living.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

A fictional character that presumably we can. Kensub is by now dead.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Suggest.

[Byron Denniston]

I have a suggestion.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, I already have it.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, so.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But go ahead.

[Byron Denniston]

But I want to. No, go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, no, you go. No, go ahead and suggest.

[Byron Denniston]

Shouldn't it be King Charles iii, Superstar?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

See, I wrote. I wrote that with Tim Rice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. You're trying to get him out of.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Because I will have to pay royalties for the tune if I use that, given how crazy.

[Byron Denniston]

Just like Weird.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, he gets the rights to the. To the melody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, does he?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, he does. People think he doesn't, but he does.

[Scott Aukerman]

How does he do that?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He asks them. He says, may I do a song of yours? And they can say yes or no. And if they say yes, then they bargain the price. Oh, are you familiar with the Coolios Haga?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I understand they reconciled.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah, they have. They have reconciled.

[Byron Denniston]

It was a real Bill Murray. Ivan, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

The one person I would want to see.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Harold, please send word to a Weird Al. I must see him. I have not long. Bring him unto my chamber.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Please bring me the weirdest of all.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Please, Red Al. Draw the curtains My eyes, the light is so bright.

[Byron Denniston]

Tell no one what has transpired.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Here, take my handle. Fret enemies no more as this my last hour approaches There is nothing in my heart but love. Now then.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Full reset.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'm going to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hey, long man.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'm going to. I'm going to take the song the Phantom of the Opera, which is one of mine.

[Byron Denniston]

Myron, that's one of yours.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's about a fictional living person we can presume is dead. So cake boss could probably take. Talk to him. Oh, another guy we know.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

All right, so I just have the very beginning and tell me what you think, because if you like this, then I'll keep going. If you don't like it, it's back to the dry.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. A lot of pressure. A lot of pressure on.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I will retreat to my chalkboard and then take a gummy and go to sleep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Didn't realize that was part of.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I have to use gummies now.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I tried. What I'm more shocked by is that you still write all of your songs on it. Chalkboard.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, I, I do automatic writing, you see. I write.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I work primarily in my dreams.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And so the chalkboard, it's like a ma.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like the Matilda chalkboard where it writes like the. The chalk like you dream it and the chalkboard writes it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, that's magical. That's. Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wish.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Have you seen the Matilda musical?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have, yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Not to talk about another musical.

[Byron Denniston]

That's one of your.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'll allow it.

[Byron Denniston]

You wrote that?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Not Byron Washington.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I hate musicals. Truly. No offense, Andrew LLOYD WEBER Most J.P. but I, I, I've seen of your. Why is it your work? Why is it you hate music of your work? I think I've only Seen in theaters. Starlight Express.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, Maybe that's the one that turned you off of musicals.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And ever since then, I was like, no more musicals.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But I will say my finest.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I loved Matilda the musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's fantastic that you believe you hate musicals because my serious. No one truly does. They tell themselves that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Here's what it is for me. I often times find, boy, I'm enjoying this play. And then everything stops to sing a song, and it doesn't hold my interest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you trying to say that the play Oklahoma. Would be better without the music?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I would like it to just be the story.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think so?

[Byron Denniston]

Worth a try.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I put it to you.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That if you were to watch the style of acting that's in musicals uninterrupted by songs, you would go mad.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's the kind of acting. That's the acting that I. That was exciting to me. That's like. I base most of my work on how people act in musicals when they're not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your work is the character of Jason Manzoukas.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, got it.

[Byron Denniston]

But you would not have your problem with a Lord Webber production, because you don't really. There's no dialogue in a Lord Weber production. Right into the songs. All songs.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Almost an opera.

[Byron Denniston]

So you never have a moment to say, I'm enjoying this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're right. And that's why yours are just the greatest.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You are.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Starlight Express, which was all on rollers.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You see, it was trains. And so there. All the actors are on rollers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

We stimulate the motion of a train.

[Scott Aukerman]

We understand. Yes. This is pre Rollerblades, too. Like, is that what put it out of business?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

This is how rollerblades were invented.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I found this on the web for this is to witness. That will run out of business.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Check it out. Talking. Who is this?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who's this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Siri.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Madam, show yourself.

[Jason Manzoukas]

How is it in our.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Who is that woman?

[Scott Aukerman]

This is all going through. Look, I had a problem with this a couple of weeks ago.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Could that be the Phantom it of the studio?

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had a problem with this a couple of weeks ago. My good friend August Lid helped me figure it out. I put it on. Dude, do not disturb. But it still activates this woman. I don't even want to say her name.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I wonder what we said that triggered it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know it triggered much. Siri. Oh, no, I said it.

[Byron Denniston]

You should disable her across the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like saying, what's up? Hot dog or something. Oh, no.

[Byron Denniston]

Hey, what's going on?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Guys.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, do you use that phrase the same way you use hey, sir.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I didn't mean to do that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What's the weather gonna be tomorrow?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, it's gonna be perfect water skiing weather.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, hot dog. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you here.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, you didn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can stick around, though.

[Byron Denniston]

I was right in the middle of an epic water skiing session, which is why I'm so wet wearing my bathing trucks.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Are you the hot dog?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Who are you?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'm Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. I'm a songwriter after a version. And of course I've heard. Heard of you. Because water skiing is very much a rich person's sport.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you need a boat.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You do need a boat.

[Byron Denniston]

And it's got to be able to get up to at least 27 miles per hour.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Correct.

[Byron Denniston]

That's got to be a pretty good boat.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Blessed My pardon. Such a pleasure to see you in person.

[Byron Denniston]

It's wonderful. Yeah, it's great.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Good to me and meet you.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Hey, I beg your pardon.

[Byron Denniston]

Have you ever written a musical about water skiing?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I've tried so many times.

[Byron Denniston]

You have?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's very difficult.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nothing rhymes with water ski. That's the problem. Right, right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That's exactly the problem. It's the only thing holding me back.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, man.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, also, they won't let me flood a theater.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's also interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the biggest problem.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's interesting. You've written one about trains. Why not things that like boats and things that move on water?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. You've taken over the land.

[Byron Denniston]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not sea?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, I was afraid I was going to change the course of mankind to watch. You know how what you call in England it's called Madness Glue. But I believe here it's called Crazy Glue.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Crazy Glue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Madness.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

School madness. And it was originally created to stitch wounds on the battlefield.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Because it sticks better to skin than it does absolutely anything else.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, I developed Rollerblades for Starlight Express. They didn't exist prior to that musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? I thought they were on the typical skates, but they were on rollerblades.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

They were on prototypical rollerblades.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yourself invented those. That's incredible.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I did. I said, these wheels, what if they.

[Byron Denniston]

Were in a line?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's.

[Byron Denniston]

I was the first person to wear Rollerblades on water skis. Could you say my name backwards so.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I can go back?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so. We have to take a break. Hot dog. You can stick around.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Shall I sing the Beginning of the song very quickly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just the beginning.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

This is all I have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right, here's. You sure you don't want to do it after the break? Because this is quite a tease.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I do because it's very brief.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, here we go.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I don't think they can't hold up.

[Scott Aukerman]

To the scrutiny of happening after segment. Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

King Char, the king of all the British now is here. What do you think?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's all you have?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I told you, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not even inside my mind.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What is the Phantom of the Opera song?

[Scott Aukerman]

That is. The Phantom of the Opera is here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, it is. Oh, okay, That's. I just wanted to make sure it was.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I just want to point out that other guest.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I didn't know if that was literally. Is here is the same as. It doesn't matter. I don't know the song.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, he says goodbye England's rose. He says goodbye Norman Jean. So I'm doing what he did.

[Scott Aukerman]

What were you gonna say? Hot dog.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Right in front of his face.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm not mad at you, Hot dog.

[Byron Denniston]

What? I was just gonna point out that nothing there rhymed so you could do a musical about water skiing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You really want a musical about waters?

[Byron Denniston]

More than anything, man. Water skiing needs this, man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why wouldn't you want Shaa not to do that?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, God, that would be awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hot dog. I have some exciting news for you, by the way. I'm going to tell you after the.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Break, so you have to stick around.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to stick around. Okay. And Byron, you can stick around as well.

[Byron Denniston]

Absolutely. Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm still here.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, you are. We haven't talked to you in a while.

[Byron Denniston]

It's all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Shimmy's still here too. Gotta go. Wait, he's gone. But we will come right back. We'll be right back with Jason man round, please. Thank you so much. We'll be right back. More Jason Manzoukas. More Byron Dennison. More Hot dog. More Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber. Maybe Shimmy. We'll be right back with more comedy. Bang Bang after this. Choose to lean into it. Every Mazda is engineered to give you effortless control.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Awake Up.

[Byron Denniston]

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[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, the holidays have come and gone once again.

[Byron Denniston]

But if you've forgotten to get that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Special someone in your life a gift. Well, Mint Mobile is extending their holiday offer of half off unlimited wireless. So here's the idea. You get it now, you call it an early present for next year. What do you have to lose? Give it a [e-mail] Switch limited time.

[Scott Aukerman]

50% off regular price for new customers. Upfront payment required. $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 month or 100. $180 for 12 month. Plan taxes and fees. Extra speeds may slow after 50 gigabytes per month when network is busy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

See terms.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy. Bang, bang. We're back. Jason Manzukas of the Dictator and Infinite.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Also the ticking talking man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. John Wick 4 is coming out in a week or so.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Coming out soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Incredible. And you're not in that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I am not in that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But I'm thrilled. I will be their opening night.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Which animal will be killed in this one?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, it was dogs in the last one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think it's dogs in all of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, dog.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, right, right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'll keep a dog.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think he shouldn't be allowed to have a dog.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I think he should be investigated the way they investigated Ellen.

[Byron Denniston]

No, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

They've only killed the one dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what led to her downfall?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Ellen just gave away some dogs and everybody was like a government agency said, you may not do that, Ellen.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't give away dogs these days.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, you want.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got to keep every dog you.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You get if you become.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought it was like, take a penny, leave a penny if you become.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Did you really think that's got. No, I was trying to be genuine. Well, it was pretty cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Check this out. Speaking of cool, Hot dog is here now.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Hot dog, do you feel that a musical. This is based on your previous statement before we went to the break.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Do you think that the first line of a musical, any line in a musical, there must be several rhymes within that line.

[Byron Denniston]

All I'm saying is that your reason for not doing a musical about water skiing. Nothing rhymes with water skiing. But nothing rhymes with here.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But I haven't got no Hossington. You cannot be serious.

[Byron Denniston]

The line you just said, king Charles of England of the Britons is here. That doesn't have a rhyme.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Not yet. Oh, you're very much in the present, but you have to. You have to project your mind into the future. That's how a song is written.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What is the second line of the Phantom of the Opera song?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Inside your mind.

[Byron Denniston]

Inside your mind. What does that rhyme with?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But then you have to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The Phantom of the Opera is here, inside your mind.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Sometimes you have to wait.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Does the play place inside one's mind?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Good question.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good question. No one has ever.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You've cracked it.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's all like some sort of twisted fantasy.

[Jason Manzoukas]

In whose mind is Phantom of the Opera? A Saint Elsewhere situation. It is a figment of someone's imagination.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It is the Saint Elsewhere situation. It's in the writing. There are clues. It's the exact same little boy. The exact same boy staying at a different snowing globe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. With, like, snow covering someone's half.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

There's a snow globe that has a hideously scarred man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

And snow is covering half his face.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He was tricking a woman into having a relationship.

[Byron Denniston]

The Phantom of the Opera was originally written for Howie Mandel And Ed Begley Jr.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, it was.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And young Denzel Washington.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

They could not figure out how the Phantom would inflate a surgical glove while wearing his.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he did that cartoon instead.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And what is interesting is that he. Then he goes on to Deal or no Deal with Megan Markle.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Circular. Oh, by the way, Byron Dennis. Wow. Circular. That's what I say when I look at a circle.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Much like the. The. The surgical glove would become when Harry Bendel would inflate it with his nostrils.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Byron.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want you to tell Hot Dog.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But isn't it funny?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. That's.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Howie Mandel is a famous phobe of germs. And yet a surgical mask used in a most unsanitary way.

[Scott Aukerman]

A surgical glove. What is more sanitary than a surgical glove? Yes, What.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

What is less sanitary than a surgical glove filled with mucus.

[Scott Aukerman]

But his own mucus?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Is that any better?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I have no idea.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He's firing a mockery of everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That's my point.

[Byron Denniston]

I would like to know if those gloves were then used in surgery or not.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I understand he donated them, but I don't think he had any takers.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, I see.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And he kept them all.

[Byron Denniston]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very good. Does he have more than 800 of them, do you think?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, yes, he has to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, he's like he had got to practice as well, he's like Copperfield. He's got like a museum storage facility in Vegas. That's just gloves.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just gloves.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Archives. Gloves, date. Let me show.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Let me tell you, the people of England will never forgive the magician David Copperfield.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

For taking that name from our own Charles Dickens.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I see, I see. Interesting.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You can't just go around doing that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You're right.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, he doesn't have a lot of fans in America either. Because he made our Statue of Liberty disappear.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Did it ever come back?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, he's still gone. Really?

[Byron Denniston]

I didn't know that.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Have the French stepped up and said, we'll give you another one, but this is the final one?

[Byron Denniston]

I don't think so. No, that'd be nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nice?

[Byron Denniston]

I've water skied the Hudson all around the island of Manhattan.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have? And you've never come across the statue?

[Byron Denniston]

Never bumped into it?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know, Hot Dog, I'm quest. I'm wondering, have you as a Shanana fan ever investigated whether or not Chris angel is Earth's Angel?

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a good question, Hot Dog. I mean, because we've talked about Shannon.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So much and the angels and angels coming to Earth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Earth's angel and Criss angel might be the angel in the waiting be activated.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He could be mind freak. That's the.

[Byron Denniston]

Holy shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sleeper cell.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Sleeper cell.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. That would be huge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Huge if true.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Agreed. Agreed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, hot dog, this is what I wanted to tell you about our friend Byron over here, by the way. Byron. Hello. Byron told us about some exciting news about the coronation. Do you know what the coronation is, hot dog?

[Byron Denniston]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, there's this. The monarchy. Do you know what that is? No. Queen.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

May I tell him, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Do you see, Hotting dog, in my country, England. Oh, we have a king.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But he's not officially the king until they put the crown upon his head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's ruling the country, by the way?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, Prime Minister, but let's not get into that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

So they put the crown upon his head and then his divine blood is activated and he comes into his full powers of divine. Right. Well, put.

[Scott Aukerman]

It.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doesn't that sound exciting, Hot Dog? Really cool. Yeah, man.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, so there's like a big. It's a ceremony, but it's almost like a. It's like a music festival. Have you ever been to a music festival?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Out, you know, out in Dana Point where the Battle of Bands. Out on the barge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. Yeah. So there's. It's kind of like the battle of the Bands, except these bands are Like Elton John and Van Morris and a.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Moody Blues tribute band singing Proko Harem singing.

[Byron Denniston]

That sounds amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was your idea.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I said we. Well, if we can't have both bands, why don't we have a Moody Blue Stream band doing a tribute to Prokohara in front of AS the Moody Blues?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, got it. Got it.

[Byron Denniston]

This sounds like the Mall Chop Memories cruise.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Darling, they're able to bring malt on that?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I wondered. I wonder.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Refrigeration on a boat?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have no idea. See, this is the thing we don't know.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

We can't plug anything in, dear boy. That's what I thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

Too much water.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Boats have had ice forever. Titanic, all of it's like. But it's melting.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's melting at this point.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's part of the whole boat thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Titanic iceberg has to have melted by now, right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes, into the ice. That's global warming. For the drinks. No, for the ice. It makes the ice for all the drinks on all the cruises.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. But they can't. There's. But there's no.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And ice are the original frenemies.

[Scott Aukerman]

So anyway, there's this big like battle of the bands going on while they're putting the crown on this guy. And one of the bands that's going to be there. Byron, you just tell him, because this is your news. I won't spoil it.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, it's going to be Roger Waters. Which one was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, Shanana.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. Yeah, whoa is right.

[Byron Denniston]

Sha N is going to be playing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The Coronation for the King.

[Byron Denniston]

I got to get over there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you have a passport? Hot dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you don't need one if you water ski across.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That's true. If you enter by water, Dolph, on a boat, there's nothing they can do.

[Byron Denniston]

I usually just hitch up to the back of the Queen Mary and make the trip over there. To England. Southampton.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

You go the long way, I go.

[Byron Denniston]

New York to South dance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Water ski the whole way, baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, yeah, that's happening in May. May 6, I think. Byron, you.

[Byron Denniston]

There's plenty of time to get there by way of water skiing.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, I heard. I cannot please. Hunting dog. If this is not true, don't be angry at me. Please don't shoot an arrow through the heart of the one who delivers the message.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

All right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I've heard it's to going to be every original member of Shanad.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, no way. No way. No way.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's going to Be a John Bowser.

[Byron Denniston]

No way.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No way.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's going to be dirty, dad. It's going to be scream of Scott. Both guys, they go to Le Bay, suits.

[Byron Denniston]

Bowser. There's no way they'll get Bowser back into China.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bowser hates them, right?

[Byron Denniston]

I mean, so much bad blood. How could it possibly happen?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But he loves the king. Of course he does that much more. Because he fancied himself the ghost King of Sh.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, he was. He was. And then he was violently overthrown.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You could see he has some sympathy for his Majesty.

[Byron Denniston]

This is crazy. I got to get over there. I got to be a part of this, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to. Do you think you'll be able to perform with.

[Byron Denniston]

You have to figure out a way to do it. I got to get myself on stage to perform for the King of something.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I say how to go? What would you like to be my plus one for the corn? Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is incredible.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Absolutely.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Me.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm gonna bring my water skis. What's the.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You don't need to bring. Well, it's not water skis. You don't need to bring water. It's an indoor event for the most part. But it is landlocked. It's a landlocked event.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So a wet suit might not work.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah, wet suit might work with a bow tie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sort of like that James Bond thing where he takes off the wetsuit and there's like a tuxedo underneath.

[Byron Denniston]

But what if I arrived by way of water skiing down the Thames?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Do you know it's illegal to water ski down the Thames because the water is so filthy. If you were to splash any water on anyone else, it's a capital offense. You will be put to death.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes. They'll have you at the dock at all the Old Bailey. And then you go to the hangman's noose.

[Byron Denniston]

What a way to go, though, man.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And they make you drink a glass of dem's water.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. So what kills you? The hangman. The docks just watches. Okay. The water kills you. Oh, okay.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

They make him still be there. He doesn't need to be there.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just wasteful. It's just.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Wait, he's getting paid. He's on the clock.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know this is.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I think he gets paid by the day. And so that way, you know, he gives him something to do and they.

[Byron Denniston]

Still put him in the black horde, you know, with the iron.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, yes.

[Byron Denniston]

No one has any idea what he looks like. None whatsoever.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, even does he look forbidden.

[Byron Denniston]

Are they.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are there famous Is it like the Mass Singer where there's famous people underneath the hangman? Sometimes, Sometimes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Sometimes. One time, I remember one time hearing about an execution. It was two executions with hoods. And I said, that's anted deck. And then it turned out to.

[Byron Denniston]

I called has been Rudy Giuliani a time or two.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, it has.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, a time or two.

[Byron Denniston]

A time.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

One time. Sarah Brightman. I couldn't say a word to anyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, your old flame. Of course. Yours.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I've never gotten to do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You should.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should kill someone.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I would love to. What do you mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean. I mean be the hangman or whatever. Oh, yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I thought you meant you. Well, I'm not saying I've never gotten to be executed, which, no, I haven't and I don't wish.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You should be able to execute an execution.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, I feel like you should. If you're a lord, you should be able to kill one person per year.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Don't you think, to be that way? It used to be that way. You'd have your pick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You could just pick among the commoners.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Back in the day, they'd have a peasant parade and you'd walk through and you'd look at someone and say, he looks disrespectful. And you'd be able to kill him. And then they would say, are you sure this is your one?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, would the peasants do the parade knowing one of them was going to be killed?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, yes. They knew that place back then.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Wow. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible. Well, Hot Dog, this is, I mean, quite an opportunity to be Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's plus one at the Coronation.

[Byron Denniston]

I mean, and that to have the opportunity to water ski down the Thames and be killed for it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I've got to be honest, all parts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of this are amazing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

This is so exciting for Hot Dog. But I gotta imagine that this is eating Byron Denniston a lot. I know that he is not invited.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and Andrew Lloyd Weber just gave away his plus one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, to Hot Dog, who just showed up.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Byron, forgive me, I didn't mean.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm a bit in a state of shock. I was sort of thinking maybe once the microphones were off, I might sidle up and say, any plans for your plus one? But here it's been dispensed already.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little late. I mean.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fortune favors the brave, as Matt Damon once said.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

About crypto.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes. Really? Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he was dead right about it.

[Byron Denniston]

Boy, oh, boy, I get all my advice from him.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Those brave crypto people, they were bold enough to fool people into thinking that there was going to be new system of money. And it worked. They are now rich with real money.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I'm going to have to get in there some other way, I suppose, you know, But I have a few ideas. I could go in sort of inside Elton John's piano.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I say, I like that idea and stay on that. But he can't play it. We just hear the dull thud of the hammers against human flesh.

[Byron Denniston]

There's a moment in the coronation where the King is obscured from the public by a golden cloth. What? Anointed with an oil made of secret ingredients.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The Holy Chrism. Yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Jason Manzoukas]

The holy Gism.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, it's an oil made of secret ingredients that is procured behind a golden cloth.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's.

[Byron Denniston]

No one can.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

One may presume there is a healthy amount of Steven in it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, it's like the lion share is mostly just. There's also perfumes and spices, frankincense and myrrh.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Colonel Sanders spices.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Nine of the eleven.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. It's the odd 911 inside joke.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Inside a golden clock.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Byron Denniston]

The. The Archbishop is the only one who can see behind that. The golden clock. But. Yes, yes, but.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow. Well, then that's trustworthy, because they're never. They're never up to any wrongdoing.

[Byron Denniston]

Never.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Byron, maybe you could be the plus one of someone else. Like, there has to be someone else coming. Like another royal. Like, wasn't there someone that you were very fond of or weren't you dating?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Were you?

[Scott Aukerman]

You were, yeah. Weren't you dating somebody? I can't remember the details.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Was it Lady Amelia?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, yes, yes. But I. It only becomes very complicated with her. She sort of has this boyfriend, a fellow by the name of. Who goes by. Goes by the Grizz. And it goes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What'd you say?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Please don't mention his name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Ooh.

[Byron Denniston]

Mr. Lloyd Webb. You have dealings with this Mr.

[Scott Aukerman]

I apologize, Lord Webber. I know this is your friend, too. I don't know why I'm apologizing.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I haven't been called Mr. And a.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Dog'S in Mr. Lord Webber.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Please, call me Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber.

[Byron Denniston]

All right. Lord Andrew. Lord Webber.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Close enough.

[Byron Denniston]

You have dealings with this fellow?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I have avoided dealings with him. He is well known in our circles. He's a terrifying man.

[Byron Denniston]

Awful, isn't he?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Awful.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's so scary. The Grizz.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, the Grizz.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We've met him before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, we've met the Grizz. He's a. He's a. He's a water polo player, right? Is that what he said?

[Jason Manzoukas]

We met him in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right.

[Byron Denniston]

He has defeated me in multiple duels up to now for the hand of Lady Amelia. And it's absolutely humiliating.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

By what? I'm so sorry. So sorry.

[Byron Denniston]

It's terrible. But. So for that reason alone, I. I really. I don't want to entangle myself with either of them anymore. I'd much rather get smuggled in. In a piano.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'd write. So you'd. I don't want anything to do with Lady Amelia anymore.

[Byron Denniston]

Of course I do. But I'm. What is that chortling?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is that chortling?

[Byron Denniston]

What is chortling?

[Scott Aukerman]

I hear.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Somewhere. I also hear chortling.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hear a faint chortling.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Down here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Down. Down here. Is that. What? Hot dog. Did you say that? Did you just say down here?

[Byron Denniston]

I don't think so.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Maybe. You know what? Should we look down the. Down the hill?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess. Should. I mean, right now? I've just been looking straight ahead this entire show, not even looking at any of you. Should we look. Should we turn our heads? Maybe we should look up. No. Nothing up there, you great pillock.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Down here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Should we look behind us?

[Byron Denniston]

I think we should look.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think we should look down.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think we should look down?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I got it.

[Byron Denniston]

Under the table.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I think we should look under the table.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You don't think we should do all directions except down first?

[Scott Aukerman]

Just to make sure if anyone. Process of elimination.

[Jason Manzoukas]

We're going to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is there.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Is that. Is there a time minimum for these episodes? I know there's no maximum.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we just hit it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

800 episode. 800? You said 800 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. We're just at the beginning. Let's look down. Oh, my God. The Grizz.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You thought I was a glass of water, but no.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The Grizz. I will say I've been trying to drink out of what I now realize as the Grizz the whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you get anything?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I got zero.

[Scott Aukerman]

Grizz, how did you disguise yourself as a glass of water? You have the powers to do that as a water polo instructor?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I was. This bloke poured me into his glass, didn't he?

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I came out through the drying.

[Byron Denniston]

He has the power to become water?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Like Bruce Lee.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I can travel through any water conveyance.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Like.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like when.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like Pennywise.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Like.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Like Zane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Of Zan. Zane and Jaina.

[Scott Aukerman]

Zan and Jaina. Zan and Jaina. Exactly. Yeah. Interesting.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Jaina, you're like.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're like Pennywise. Pennywise. Do you ever see him down there? A little nasty looking clown?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Do you mean it?

[Scott Aukerman]

The clown? They call him Pennywise, not pound foolish.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, the name of the book's It. It's not Pennywise.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. They should have called it Pennywise.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The movie's called it. Every version's been called it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Appreciate the quiet. Here's the clown preaching the choir.

[Byron Denniston]

This is a clown that can go through the drain as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He has the powers of a water. Water polo instructor.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He lives in the drain.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He doesn't teach anybody water polo at all.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he's not royal at all.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, he just eats fear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Grizz, what are you doing here? By the way, this is Andrew Lloyd Weber.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, hello. The Greens.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you guys have met. I forgot. Yeah. Grizz, you know Andrew.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

We haven't had the pleasure.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, this is uncomfortable.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

More of a Tim Rice fan myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

No door, no grizzly.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I agree. He's wonderful. He's terrific.

[Byron Denniston]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not what you were saying about Tim, Right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

KLW is cratering in front of the Grizz.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Bangkok Oriental City. Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's from Chess, the musical Tim Rice wrote with the men of abba.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes, I know. It's my favorite musical of all time. Yeah, it's a proper musical, that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not what he was saying before. Grizz, I have to say, I'm sorry to blow up your spot, Andrew Lloyd Web, but you were saying that you hated Tim Rice.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

What are you doing?

[Jason Manzoukas]

And didn't you, Andrew Lloyd Webber, say that you wrote Les Miserables?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That was Byron.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sorry, yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

I didn't write Les Miserables. Oh, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said that he wrote Les Miserables.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Byron Dennis. Oh, dear me, no. As I live in Brune. No.

[Byron Denniston]

I've been trying to hide behind the microphones.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's his catchphrase. Byron Denison, as I live and breathe.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You knew you were gonna hear it sooner or later.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, listen, the grace. I. I don't want any trouble with you at all. All right, Forget it. I'm getting to the coronation another way. I. I have no desire to challenge you for the hand of Lady Amelia anymore. I. I can't stand the humiliation. I can't stand it anymore.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, fair play to you.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'm glad to hear it. And I suppose I'll see you at the coronation. Yes. If you know where it actually is.

[Byron Denniston]

What won't it take place? At the Abbey? In Westminster Abbey?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

If that's what you think, then, yeah, that's where it takes place.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Westminster Abbey.

[Byron Denniston]

It's taking place somewhere else.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, you didn't hear that from me.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a. This is a fake coronation.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my.

[Byron Denniston]

A decoy coronation.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Decoy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Coronation decoration.

[Byron Denniston]

Of course, that. No wonder I know all about Operation Golden Orb.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I can't believe they use that one.

[Byron Denniston]

All right then. Seems my only way to get there is on the arm of Lady Amelia.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, that's not going to be possible.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, you don't think so?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Lady Amelia's not going to the Coronation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where's she going?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

She's staying at home. She's going to work. What she send us.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, why?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

She's binging it. And she's almost caught up to real time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

There's so much of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are there 800 of those?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I wish she'd be done by now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, there's more.

[Byron Denniston]

Wait then. Does that mean you have a plus one?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I do.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my goodness. This would be a weird turn of events if suddenly you were Grizz's plus one.

[Byron Denniston]

Not weird at all. I didn't think. I think it'd be lovely. Wonderful.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

What a turn up for the books.

[Byron Denniston]

We could put all of our past differences aside and simply sort of attend together.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

We could, I suppose. Yes, I suppose we could. Or you could tell me what it's worth to you to go to the coronation and watch those royals at the most royal event possible.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Even more royal than a royal wedding. A coronation.

[Byron Denniston]

The royalist of all royal events.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's a number one royalist day with a bullet.

[Byron Denniston]

The passing of the scepter and the orb.

[Scott Aukerman]

There hasn't been one for what, 80, 90 years? There may not be another one for another who knows?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Three months.

[Byron Denniston]

My God, I've got to be at this one.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I will say it is crazy that Lady Amelia is almost about to finish EastEnders because the they have 5180 episodes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

She's been. She's been staying up day and night. Po to black coffee. She's been taking fen phen. I don't know where she found it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I get it. That's what I'm doing to just to finish Bosch.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You've got a feeling and you can't let go.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what's it worth to you, Byron? I mean.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah, Byron, what's it worth to you?

[Byron Denniston]

The question?

[Jason Manzoukas]

My life. Least favorite theme song.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, I love it. I love the theme.

[Byron Denniston]

You got a feeling you can't let go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

I've only watched the show perfectly.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He does somehow.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He loves jazz. Let's make this.

[Scott Aukerman]

How's it go? I. I've only watched one episode.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Play it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, play it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Play theme song Debos. All right. I don't understand what that is.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Siri played the theme song to Bo.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Who said that.

[Byron Denniston]

And then play the sequel to the theme song to Boss. Oh, yes, that's even better.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Legacy theme.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Legacy theme song.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go. Oh, no, there's a. Clean my Mac X AD first.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Maybe you should. Maybe you should pay attention to that one, mate.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What, do you not subscribe to YouTube? No.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to skip ad okay, here we go. Theme song to Bosch.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, my God. Oh, yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

He loves.

[Scott Aukerman]

He loves jazz. Yeah, that was in the episode I watch.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

This is not N. Coltrain or something.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It'S got a violin in it. Are there violins in jazz?

[Jason Manzoukas]

This. This theme and Justified are the worst themes for the best show.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I don't want the Justified one.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like the Justified one. Okay. I can't listen.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's terrible.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It only needs a rap break. That's the only thing it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, my name is Boss, and I'm here to say.

[Byron Denniston]

Good dishwasher, though, you have to admit.

[Scott Aukerman]

The dishwasher.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The brand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Do you know why they call it that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Because it cleans the dishes in a flash.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Because it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It says dishes are done.

[Byron Denniston]

Bosch.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, it says the. The. The crime is dirty dishes.

[Byron Denniston]

Bosch solves the problem every time. Every time.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, Byron.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Dirty dishes are the disease.

[Scott Aukerman]

Byron, how do we work this out for you? Grizz, what do you want?

[Byron Denniston]

I mean, the thing is really, that it's almost. It's worth everything. I can't think of anything that wouldn't be worth. To get. To be there in the room when the golden cloth is held over the King and the Archbishop of Canterbury ejaculates him. I'd be there for Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

On his face. Yes. Yes.

[Jason Manzoukas]

God. Well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boring.

[Byron Denniston]

What do you.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Maybe I could make a dog with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You see, I'm. I'm in a bind and I'm way behind, and I wonder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

What if you were to offer me your immortal soul?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Holy Byron.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is reminding me of something we talked about earlier in the episode.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really?

[Byron Denniston]

What is that? What is this?

[Scott Aukerman]

The coronation?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

This reminded me of the court.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

We're still talking about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm sorry. I. I zoned out for minute.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Of course he's reminding you of it. Still.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're still talking about it?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Continuing the conversation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I was zoning out.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

What do you say, Byron? Put it on paper. Your immortal soul belongs to the Grizz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's work this out, Jason. Let's see if he sells his soul to the Grizz. To the Grizz.

[Byron Denniston]

And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sha Na, everything in Shanana comes true. The Earth Angel, Chris. Angel ascending to the throne.

[Byron Denniston]

Everyone gets a job.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone gets.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Everyone gets a job.

[Scott Aukerman]

Slaves to the hand jive.

[Byron Denniston]

Everybody's doing the hand jive.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The moon turns blue.

[Scott Aukerman]

All of the. All of it just Pestilence. Everything. Sure. So where does that then leave Byron's soul?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, here's my question. Up until this very moment, I have operated from the belief that Byron. Byron doesn't have a soul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Soul. Oh, interesting.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Come now. You think he's just a soulless husk.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's what I feel like he's been searching for.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, he's. He's pathetic, but he doesn't.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have a. So we just ask him. He's right here.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Clearly. This is Byron's soul, not hot dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Yeah. Byron, you have a soul, don't you?

[Byron Denniston]

I believe so. I don't recall ever selling it or doing anything else with it. I believe I have a soul.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

We used to think back in the old days, of course, all of the nobles thought that the peasants lacked souls. The commoners were just sort of shells that God chose.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The royals. Yes, and not the.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The peasants, the peasants.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's just not in their blood.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe your soul isn't worth anything and this is a good trade.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, no, it's worth something to me.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, wow.

[Byron Denniston]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you so behind, Grizz?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah. What the trouble are you in?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's the pool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

There. It's got algae.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this makes sense.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You need to get it.

[Byron Denniston]

So you're just going to sell my soul on to the next buyer, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

To a pool clean?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Do you bundle all the souls together and sell them on mass?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, no, no. There's only one soul I'm interested in, and it's Bar and Dennistons.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, really? Why?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Byron Denniston]

What are you going to do with it all, Grizz?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, would you really like to know?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I'd like to know if. If not him, I would like to.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, you know that the. The royals get up to some monkey business.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I guess I don't know what you mean by that.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Supernatural in that.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, oh, sure.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Divine right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

There's a lot more going on than just God saying you can be king.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? What is going on?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Someone also gets to be the devil, whatever.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And that's where you're head. That's what you want.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The devil also. There's divine right and there's satanic right.

[Byron Denniston]

The coronation.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The king is.

[Byron Denniston]

Is coronation, is crowned by divine right. And a new devil is crowned as well.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, my God.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And the price is just one human soul.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Just one human soul.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

But what becomes of me?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I mean, when you die, go to hell, I suppose.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you'll be in charge of hell.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And is it your. Is it your intention to. To make hell on earth?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Have I talked to you about this already?

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, I'm just curious.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think this ever came up on any of your previous appearances.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I only asked because we are also currently. Also talking about Earth angels. Because of Shanana.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So we could have Shanana. Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The Doo Wop group.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. They're going to be at the coronation's.

[Byron Denniston]

Going to be at the coronation York.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Had a brief variety show run on cbs.

[Byron Denniston]

Not so brief really, when you think about it. John Bowser was 800 episodes.

[Scott Aukerman]

John Bowser Bauman. He hosted the Match Game Hollywood Squares Hour.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And he's returning.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's gonna be back.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Returning to the lineup.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, they got Bowser to return to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sean, if you can believe it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Not both guys in the gold LeMay suits.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Both of them.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Both of them.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm starting to think that perhaps they knew that you were going to try and crown yourself the new devil and so they brought Shana.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they trying to intercede just to.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Bring the Earth Angels to do battle?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they doing a Shanana block?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Whoa. Shannon for the block.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yeah, for the block. For the block. Not a block of Shana.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Byron Denniston]

That's what I mean.

[Jason Manzoukas]

That's what I initially thought. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

No.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not a blo.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Not Double Shot Tuesday.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no. They're doing Shanana for the block and Shanana is trying to get crowned as Satan.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh. Oh, man, this is crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sh.

[Byron Denniston]

Wants to be Satan.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

To have a whole group of Satanists. It's ridiculous.

[Scott Aukerman]

They split up the powers of Satan between. How many of them are there?

[Byron Denniston]

Particularly if Bowser is back in the group.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He's just good. Sandman.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, look, let me say that this. I will challenge you to a contest of some sort. And. And if you win, you may have my soul.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've already challenged him to a. A water polo.

[Byron Denniston]

You lost that and a duel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Byron, don't do this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen to Lord Weber here.

[Byron Denniston]

Well, but perhaps I can have sounded.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Like Woody Allen for a second.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen to Lord Weber here.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, but in that way that in a fight to the death, you can have someone stand in for you. I think it should be a song composing contest. And I'll have Lord Lloyd Webber standing for me.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Now you've made me your second hand stand in.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. And then you'll defeat the Grizz. And then I'll be able to hang on to my soul and. And still be able to go to the coronation. That'll be the deal. I'll still be your plus one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Is that right, Webber? You're going to defeat the Grizz? Grizzly, I certainly don't mean any offense, but you know, rules are rules. And these ask me nobleman, I must not refuse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Grizz, have you ever written a song before? I mean, Lord Webber's written a ton of them.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

How odd could it be?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess that's a good point.

[Jason Manzoukas]

To be honest, we've heard what Lloyd Webber has going on so far. Not great.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's only got one line.

[Jason Manzoukas]

He's got one line.

[Byron Denniston]

Let me just say, Chris, A very specific instance, Chris, I'd be willing to be your second it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. So, Hot Dog versus Hendry Lloyd Weber in a songwriting contest.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Who are you?

[Byron Denniston]

Hot Dog.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I'm a hot dog.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Hot Dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

You must have seen him in some of the water you've been in. He. He Water skis.

[Byron Denniston]

Legend of water ski.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Let me. Let me get under you and take a look up. Oh, you.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm a legend of water skiing and an aspiring doo wop singer.

[Scott Aukerman]

So.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah, I thought those were your feet, mate. But you're on sausages.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he's water skiing on sausages.

[Byron Denniston]

I'm the only person currently in the continental United States who skis on sausages.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's some in Hawaii.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You are somebody who has only been listening to 800 and on in the past. Hot Dog skied on sausages.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. So I think we have a contest here. Lord Webber versus Hot Dog in a songwriting contest for the soul of Byron Denniston.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Wow.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And access to the coronation.

[Scott Aukerman]

The real coronation.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The stinks could not be high, I suppose. Byron. Yes, I will accept.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who goes first? Who goes? This is because normally in the song Devil Went down to Georgia, the loser goes first, right? And then the winner goes second.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are we gonna do that?

[Byron Denniston]

Usually in the song.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Usually in that song but then sometimes it gets witch. Stop.

[Scott Aukerman]

In my mind.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Are we gonna do the songs now, or is that in the next episode?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I don't know. I think we should do it now. You're all here, right? So let's. Let's do this.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

All right.

[Byron Denniston]

All right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

No time like the present. It's in the moment. Hot dog. Do you want to go first here? I.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Well, I mean, how do we just.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Did you say the loser goes first after a break?

[Scott Aukerman]

Break? No, we've taken all the breaks we have. We could do it after Plugs.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

There's no breaks left.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry. We could do it after plugs. You want to do it after Plugs?

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, no, I just was gonna.

[Byron Denniston]

I'll be honest with you. Ever since this whole idea came up, I've been working mentally on my song, and I'm. I feel pretty ready to, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Give it a subject. You already have a song written.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, you give us the subject. You want to give us the subject?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll work it into what I've already done. You'll just work it into.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Have a fishing, I suppose. Go ahead.

[Byron Denniston]

Are you ready?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And I'll have to catch our blue.

[Byron Denniston]

All right, everybody. This is for the soul of Byron Jenniston.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Go on, Nana Dog.

[Byron Denniston]

Here we go.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Dip do. Wow.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Holy.

[Byron Denniston]

Really.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Good Lord. Andrew Lloyd Webber. That has got to really rattle you. It's first blood.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amazing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You look. You just. You look chasing flop sweat. You look so concise. Nervous.

[Byron Denniston]

That's the piece I've auditioned with over 58 times for the group. Sha. On. Off. All right, so that's.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's pretty well honed, I gotta tell you.

[Byron Denniston]

Except I obviously updated it and rewrote it for this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe you can take something out of the trunk, you know, and just sort of adapt it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, don't have to go off the dome.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Something from the tank.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly. What are you. Okay, Lord, we. Webber, this is for Byron Dennist in Soul.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

All right.

[Byron Denniston]

Please, Lord Webber, please make it as good as the good ones.

[Scott Aukerman]

Make it like your work up till, what, 84, something like that.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

All right, here we go.

[Byron Denniston]

From the Tim Rice. Why did I say that?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'm trying to do this for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes. I'm sorry, Burke.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Byron's the best. I do. Say yes to the coronation. He will go. Byron's the best. Grizz will attest. It's you, Byron, it's you. It's you and only.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

He watches the royals. He can achieve anything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Byron Denniston]

Just a reminder Dip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do. Do.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's pretty clear. It's pretty clear. It's hot dog.

[Byron Denniston]

I mean, hot dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hot dog. Hot dog. Hot dog. Oh, wait, we're the judges. We don't have to be chatting, chanting. Hot dog.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, I, I wanted, I did it because I wanted to.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No need to shout.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I forget.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who was I playing for? You were playing for the Grizz. All right.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That's right. Well done.

[Scott Aukerman]

Congratulations, Grizz. You've won the duel.

[Jason Manzoukas]

And to you, Byron. We're so sorry about your soul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

When do you get it? Do you get it right now? Or do you get it when he dies? When he feels.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Feel different?

[Byron Denniston]

I, I. Yes, I do.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I, I do.

[Byron Denniston]

I feel I like less of a man.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'm sorry, Byron. Old thing. I really did think that was going to do the trick. It really came from Satellite Express.

[Byron Denniston]

Was that what it was from?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I just did a weird owl.

[Byron Denniston]

Oh. I was thinking you might, Might have chosen a visa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Or like Cat's Memory or something like that.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Starlight Express is my favorite.

[Byron Denniston]

Really?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah, I forgot it's no one else's.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, well, thank you for the effort. Now I don't get to go to the coronation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that right?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Oh, well, I mean, I still have a plus one. Oh, really?

[Byron Denniston]

So I can go?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But you don't have a soul anymore. It wouldn't do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, hot.

[Jason Manzoukas]

The coronation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hot dog is your plus one?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah, Hot Dog is my plus one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. I'm sorry, I'm getting very confused.

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, wait a minute.

[Byron Denniston]

No, I'm Andrew Lloyd Weber's plus one.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That's right. Course you are. Hot dog. Yeah, be great. Sorry, I'll go. Confused. I knew the whole time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So we didn't even need the song contest. Everybody's going.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, Grizz. Grizz was going to contest.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Was for the soul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was for the soul. But just. Are you still going to take him?

[Byron Denniston]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Byron.

[Byron Denniston]

You guys could both take me as your plus one. That'd be cool.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Everybody wants to hang with hot dogs.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I'll take Byron.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, maybe, maybe you could take his skis as your plus one. No, don't talk.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So the Grizz is gonna. The Grizz is gonna take Byron Dennist in. Is this plus one?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, that's so generous, considering.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

No, I'm doing it to have his face in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. That's good. All right, Byron. Well, congratulations.

[Byron Denniston]

Thank you. That's quite all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're going to the coronation. You don't have a soul anymore.

[Byron Denniston]

I will spend apparently eternity being tormented by the Grizz in, you know, Lake of Fire and all that, but. But it will be great to see that coronation up close. My.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wow. Congratulations.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Thank you. Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you. Plus ones have to go in the runoff area.

[Byron Denniston]

The what area?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

The runoff area. It's a sort of room with folding chairs and you can watch on a screen, but it's not very good angle. You can't really see a lot of it, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you'll be there at the place where it's happening.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You can say you're at the coronation.

[Byron Denniston]

I can, really?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

But when people ask you what you saw, you'll have to say a bunch of paper plates and, you know, cheap wine.

[Byron Denniston]

And I watched it, really on the television like anyone else anywhere else in the world.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It's not a great telly either. It's not.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like an old school one. Not even a flat screen.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's a rear projection.

[Byron Denniston]

May I say so, with the three.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Lights.

[Byron Denniston]

You are less ethical than the devil.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's a finished basement.

[Byron Denniston]

But as long as it's finished. The devil went down to Georgia. That devil was more ethical than you, sir. You've changed the deal after the contest, haven't you?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Byron, you wound me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, still, he's a great devil. I mean, that's. This is what the devil would do in this situation. Not like that song, you know.

[Byron Denniston]

I suppose so, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, congratulations, Byron. I mean, you're going.

[Byron Denniston]

I am going. It feels like a Pyrex Vic. Pyrrhic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I thought you said pirate victory.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Pirate as well.

[Byron Denniston]

It feels like a pirate victory, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Know, a total pirate victory for Byron Dennison.

[Byron Denniston]

Pirates are never really happy, you know. It's a rough life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Being a pirate doesn't buy you happiness.

[Byron Denniston]

No, it doesn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Byron Denniston]

So it's a real pirate victory.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Well, guys, this is incredible.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Holy cow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, what a. What a day. So much has happened. We are running out of time. Would that surprise you, Andrew Lloyd Weber?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

It would surprise me if there was ever time for any of this in the first place.

[Scott Aukerman]

We only have time for one final feature. That's of course, a little something called plugs.

[Byron Denniston]

Don't you want to know what they're doing? And what movie you show are they choosing? You want to be a fan?

[Jason Manzoukas]

So listen, listen, SC.

[Scott Aukerman]

Man. Hey, that was a Ha Non man by Zachariah Smith.

[Byron Denniston]

Love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love it. Thank you so much, Zachariah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I love the Hangong man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Song. That was terrific.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Only he admit your second did the song, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Zachariah Smith, you had had him as the second Byron. Oh, yes.

[Byron Denniston]

That would have been fantastic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

You think he would have won, the judges.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think he would have won at that point for sure. Yeah, definitely. Although hot dogs is really good.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Hot dog is.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Could we hear it one more time?

[Byron Denniston]

I'm okay. Yeah.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Whoa.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Ah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would have won.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I must admit, I'm jealous.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I wish that was our national anthem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anthem. Yeah, do. Or the Zachariah Smith song. No, no, no, the hot dog song, definitely.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I don't understand your national anthem. It doesn't mention the President. Our national anthem mentions the king straight away.

[Scott Aukerman]

And isn't it like a weird Al of a. Of a Already existing English song as well?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Or your national anthem. Yes, yes. An English drinking song.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that. You know, you can't just give that.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Pretty racist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right, guys, what are we plugging? Jason, do you have anything to plug?

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, I'll plug the. How did this get made? Podcast. Why not right here on Ear Wolf.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you done 800 of those?

[Jason Manzoukas]

No, we have not. No, we have not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think you ever will?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know, I don't know. Well, you know, we do half as many as you. Yeah, we do episodes and then five episodes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't just explain not doing as many episodes by saying, well, we do less. Yeah, I know.

[Jason Manzoukas]

I mean, we don't do a weekly.

[Byron Denniston]

I hate.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I hate you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. You do less. That's why you have less.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So we've got that. We've got live shows coming up. Check that out. I hate you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Jason Manzoukas]

So, so much. Oh, you know what, though? I will say, if you're not already on CBB World, get yourself to CBB World and listen to the Bob Duka Full Throttle with Bob Duka podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's right.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Absolutely. We need another one small part in it, but it is some of the funniest shit I've ever heard. That plus. Hey, Randy, Tim Baltz's show. Absolutely hysterical. There's a lot of great stuff on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

There was an alimony Tony's Vallimoney Shoney recently.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Really? Okay, I haven't heard that.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Byron, what do you want to plug?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I have a podcast called the Royal Roundup with Byron Denniston.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where can people access it?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, in the States, you can find it on patreon.com Andy Daily, whoever that is, but that's the only place I think that it's available.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a gatekeeper of your work. Is that right?

[Jason Manzoukas]

You got to stop him from keeping your stuff all to himself.

[Byron Denniston]

I don't know how. I. I challenged him to a songwriting contest and he ended up with my podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you gotta stop challenging contest, I guess. So, Andrew Lloyd Webber, what do you want to plug?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Paul F tompkins.com.

[Scott Aukerman]

Live so easy to say. Amazing.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I just said it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Incred.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you said I. I haven't said it.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Those sound like they could be lyrics.

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul F tompkins.com live why did you do this? That's better than his.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Dude, you think that would have been.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, of course it would have. What kind of a question is that?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Byron. Byron, come on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

You know what?

[Scott Aukerman]

With.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Without a soul. You're feisty.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah, I think I'm allowed to be a bit angry under the circumstances.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's where people can access live episodes previous shows, as well as they may.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

See live performance dates upcoming and they may also see archived previous shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic. I gotta spend. I gotta roll up my sleeves and spend some time there. Definitely. Hot dog. What do you want?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Schedule?

[Byron Denniston]

Well, I. I am still going to water ski behind the Malt Chop Memories cruise ship, even though apparently no malts. Apparently no malts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Sorry, were you hoping there'd be malts and you were water skiing behind it that they would, like, throw the leftover?

[Byron Denniston]

I was hoping every once in a while I'd hold up my hand and somebody would throw a malt to me.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I think the clue is in the name. Malt Shop memory.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Oh, of course. That's what most of the cruise is about is just like fond remembrances, differences.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

And some unpleasant.

[Byron Denniston]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Grizz, what do you want to plug?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I like plug water, of course. Let me in it. I love it. No. No place I'd rather be than water.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, fantastic. I want to plug. Hey, The Comedy Bang Bang book is coming out in just a few scant weeks. We have a copy right here. We've been flipping through it during the show and flipping through the pages like it's a vagina. If this is your first episode, I'm sorry you had to hear that, but that is a reference. Most unfortunate call, but that comes out very soon. You can order it wherever you get books or all the links are [e-mail] book and we're doing a couple of live shows in New York to promote it. We're doing Comedy Bang Bang. The podcast. The book book. The book release event, I believe.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Comedy podcast. Comedy Bang Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, Janie Haddad podcast. That's a comeback to something Else. Oh, is it a different joke?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Different joke. So it's Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

The book, the book release event. Yes, we're the podcast, the book, the book release event. Event. The podcast, the book, the book release event. Exactly, my boy. Now you've got it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I think you've got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Byron Denniston]

Where the book release event also be a podcast?

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe. I have no idea. Will those.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Will those. Yeah. Will those be recorded and then released as episodes?

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably. Why not? Monetize everything.

[Byron Denniston]

The book, the book release event, the podcast, the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Good. I swear, if we release them as podcasts, they'll be called that.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

I think she's got it. What if that was about COVID If.

[Scott Aukerman]

My Fair lady was about COVID If.

[Byron Denniston]

They repurpose it, I think she's got it.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

For a modern audience, I think she's got you. She's got it. Yes.

[Byron Denniston]

I think that's brain fog.

[Scott Aukerman]

And while you're like Jason said, while you're over [e-mail], check out all of the shows we have. If you're only listening to Comedy Bang Bang, you're only getting half the story. All right, let's close up the old plug. People listening to the podcast. Slow it down and enjoy.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Can you dig it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Doors are made for closing so we.

[Byron Denniston]

Take them up and shut them tight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doors are made for locking so we take our key and make it right. Open the black plug bag. You gotta open. Open the plug flower bag. Okay. Open the plug flower prank. You gotta open the plug plug. Open the plug, Open the plug. Get your friends together and open up the plugs. Oh, yeah, that was closed the plug bag Boyfriend remix by Chris Finke. Thank you so much to Chris Finke. And speaking of. Thank you so much.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Chris Finkel taking time out of doing Doughboys Drops.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, does he do Doughboys Drops? Yeah, he's trying to get on.

[Jason Manzoukas]

It's nice try. We're on to you.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

If it's Finky, it ain't stinky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what they say?

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

That's for free.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, you got that? I want to thank you so much, Jason. So great to see you. Thanks for being part of all of the 800 episodes, either directly or indirectly.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Well, a lot of people don't know I've been here for every episode. Only some do. You turn my mic on.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. You and Reggie Watts. Reggie Watts leaves at the beginning of each other. I'm here for the whole stay the entire time.

[Jason Manzoukas]

But you just. Sometimes you put it on, sometimes you put it off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. And today we had you on. And I appreciate it. So thrilled. Thank you so much for being here. Byron, great to have you on the show.

[Byron Denniston]

Wonderful to be here. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So sorry that you are soulless at this point.

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, that is unfortunate, come to think of it. All in all, I wish I hadn't come.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm sorry. But I'm used to hearing that after the end of each show, so. No problem. Andrew Lloyd Weber, always wonderful to see you.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Scotrick, so lovely to see you. Thank you for having me on this momentous occasion.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Grizz, what more needs to be said? Nothing.

[Jason Manzoukas]

Nobody beats him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, nobody beats you.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Nobody beats the Grizz.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And Hot Dog.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Yeah.

[Jason Manzoukas]

What'S up?

[Byron Denniston]

Oh, now I can go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. Do you want me to say your name backwards?

[Byron Denniston]

Yes, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dog to Ha.

[Byron Denniston]

So long.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I said, speaking of so long. We'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.

[Byron Denniston]

Paratos in puestos puedes contactara un experto Yarle toda la informacion tributaria directa mente desele apperto de turbotax Sen cargarad intuit turbotax. Visit turbotax Punto com para mas informacion solo disponible con turbotax Experts actualizaciones en tiempo real solo en applicacion mobil para iOS. Ever walk past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside? Maybe even explore the layout. Envision the natural light streaming through the windows. Or plan where your vinyl record collection would go. At apartments.com you can. With tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living. Really envision yourself in your new home. With apartments.com, the place to find a place.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

New year, new gear. Thousands of fresh active styles are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Save on top brands like Nike, Puma and free people starting at just $35.

[Scott Aukerman]

How did I not know Rack has Adidas?

[Jason Manzoukas]

Because there's always something new.

[Andrew Lloyd Webber]

Plus, join the Nordy Club to shop new arrivals first. Unlock exclusive discounts and more. Great brands, great prices. That's why you Rack.