Bonus Bang: Paul F. Tompkins, Mandell Maughan, Mary Sohn, Mitra Jouhari, Nicole Parker

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Bonus Bang Episode Summary

Episode Title: Bonus Bang: Paul F. Tompkins, Mandell Maughan, Mary Sohn, Mitra Jouhari, Nicole Parker
Release Date: February 13, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman

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Introduction to Bonus Bang and "Alimony Tony"
Timestamp: 01:05

In this special Bonus Bang episode, Scott Aukerman reintroduces listeners to the beloved character Alimony Tony, portrayed by Paul F. Tompkins. Unlike typical episodes, this installment emerges from the CBB Presents series, where recurring characters host their own unique shows. Alimony Tony reunites with his eclectic group of ex-wives—Belinda Rogers (Mandel Mon), Jody Casarelli (Mary Sohn), Lizzie Giacuroni (Mitra Jouhari), and Rhonda Rota (Nicole Parker)—to reminisce, engage in witty banter, and navigate the comedic complexities of their past relationships.

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Reconnecting with Ex-Wives: Setting the Stage
Timestamp: 03:12 – 08:07

Alimony Tony opens the show with his trademark humor, introducing each ex-wife with affectionate jabs and playful anecdotes:

• Belinda Rogers brings her vibrant personality, teasing Tony about his obsession with alimony payments.
• Jody Casarelli discusses her past as a school bus driver with a rebellious streak, hinting at her penchant for mischief.
• Lizzie Giacuroni highlights her career as an event planner specializing in funerals, adding a darkly comedic twist to the conversations.
• Rhonda Rota shares her experiences as Tony's oldest ex-wife, adding depth and a touch of nostalgia to the interactions.

Notable Quote:
Alimony Tony: "I'm on my 39th divorce. It's being finalized as we speak. I can do it by DocuSign now, which is great." (04:43)

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Humorous Anecdotes and Character Dynamics
Timestamp: 08:07 – 22:33

The conversation delves into humorous stories from Tony's multiple marriages:

• Jody Casarelli recounts a chaotic murder mystery party that went hilariously wrong, reflecting the unpredictable nature of Tony's relationships.
• Belinda Rogers shares her ventures into event planning, emphasizing her unique twist on traditional funerals with celebrity surprises.
• Lizzie Giacuroni reminisces about her time supporting Tony's "invisible work," humorously highlighting his obliviousness to relationship red flags.

Notable Quotes:
Belinda Rogers: "I saw a hole in the market and I thought, I'm going for it." (10:11)
Jody Casarelli: "Do you want to name a few of the reasons you married me? Just to give examples." (06:24)
Alimony Tony: "I like to say you were type negative A, like ahead of A. Yeah. You like that?" (06:46)

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Love, Loss, and Laughs: Exploring Relationship Themes
Timestamp: 22:33 – 43:25

The ex-wives engage in playful yet insightful discussions about love and relationships:

• Alimony Tony expresses his hopeless romanticism, longing for a stable marriage despite his tumultuous past.
• Belinda Rogers introduces her latest endeavor—preparing to join Love Island, juxtaposing her event planning career with reality TV aspirations.
• Rhonda Rota reflects on her aging gracefully while reminiscing about the early days of her relationship with Tony, blending heartfelt moments with comedic relief.

Notable Quotes:
Alimony Tony: "I never started a relationship before the first one ended." (73:13)
Belinda Rogers: "I'm gonna go on Love Island... I'm willing to do pretty much whatever." (40:34)
Rhonda Rota: "I played 17 different characters. I played myself, of course." (65:18)

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Murder Mysteries and Mischief: Keeping the Comedy Alive
Timestamp: 43:25 – 70:57

The episode takes a whimsical turn as Jody Casarelli introduces her murder mystery events, inspired by their shared past:

• Jody elaborates on her method of creating immersive experiences, complete with scents and lighting to simulate a true mystery setting.
• Alimony Tony shares behind-the-scenes tales of his own quirky attempts to host similar events, resulting in uproarious mishaps.
• Belinda Rogers and Rhonda Rota contribute their unique flair, blending personal quirks with the overarching theme of theatrical fun.

Notable Quotes:
Jody Casarelli: "I do a lot with lighting, I'm doing a lot of scents." (30:29)
Alimony Tony: "The lights went out, and one of my guests just lost it and started swinging a knife." (20:49)
Belinda Rogers: "I love matchboxes. I love taking the match out." (88:26)

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Peanut Butter Truth Talk: Unveiling Personal Insights
Timestamp: 76:10 – 90:57

In the segment titled "Peanut Butter Truth Talk," the ex-wives delve into more personal and introspective topics, all while maintaining the show’s signature humor:

• Alimony Tony introspects on his behavior and relationships, revealing vulnerabilities masked by his comedic persona.
• Belinda Rogers and Jody Casarelli offer candid reflections on their pasts, blending heartfelt admissions with witty repartee.
• Rhonda Rota shares stories from her extensive history with Tony, adding layers to the character dynamics and enriching the narrative with genuine emotion.

Notable Quotes:
Alimony Tony: "Every time I do the show, I forget that that is a potential thing that could happen—the four of you would then talk about the problems with me." (92:20)
Belinda Rogers: "I want to be buried in a thong and nipple tassels and open casket." (52:25)
Rhonda Rota: "I taught you all about old things." (59:35)

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Conclusion: Reflecting on Love and Laughter
Timestamp: 90:57 – End

As the episode winds down, Alimony Tony offers a heartfelt apology to his ex-wives, acknowledging their humor and resilience:

Alimony Tony: "I want to reinforce. I am not sabotaging these relationships. I always think it's going to work out. But it does not. I'm hopeful that one day it's going to work." (72:46)

The episode concludes with a blend of mirth and sincerity, celebrating the enduring bonds forged through shared laughter and life's unpredictable twists.

Final Notable Quote:
Alimony Tony: "Please, stop it. The boss has spoken." (34:16)

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Summary Insights

This Bonus Bang episode masterfully intertwines humor with poignant reflections on love and relationships. Through the character of Alimony Tony and his interactions with his ex-wives, the podcast explores themes of romance, personal growth, and the comedic fallout of multiple marriages. The inclusion of notable quotes and dynamic conversations ensures that both longtime fans and new listeners find the episode engaging and entertaining.

Notable Quotes Recap:

1. Alimony Tony: "I'm on my 39th divorce. It's being finalized as we speak." (04:43)
2. Belinda Rogers: "I saw a hole in the market and I thought, I'm going for it." (10:11)
3. Jody Casarelli: "Do you want to name a few of the reasons you married me?" (06:24)
4. Alimony Tony: "I never started a relationship before the first one ended." (73:13)
5. Alimony Tony: "Every time I do the show, I forget that that is a potential thing that could happen—the four of you would then talk about the problems with me." (92:20)

This episode exemplifies Comedy Bang Bang's unique blend of improv, character-driven humor, and heartfelt moments, solidifying its place as a cherished favorite among comedy podcast enthusiasts.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Jody Casarelli]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here, host of Comedy Bang Bang. And it is time again for another Bonus Bang. Bonus Bangs, of course, being episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that we have recorded previously. Even though every single episode of Comedy Bang Bang has been recorded previously. But I mean ones that are so old that they're out behind a paywall that we re release on Thursdays to let you listen to them. And actually this is not an old episode. Well, let me tell you what we're listening to. This is of course the sixth and final bonus bang in our Morimony Tony series featuring the Paul F. Tompkins character Alimony Tony. And this week instead of re releasing an old Comedy Bang Bang episode, we are releasing something from CBB Presents. CBB Presents, of course are the shows that we have at CBB World where characters from Comedy Bang Bang host their own shows. This episode that we are releasing is the Alimony Tony Vallimony Shoney. It features Alimony Tony, of course, Paul F. Tompkins, as he reconnects with a number of his beloved ex wives played by Mandel Mon, Mary Sohn, Mitra Johari and Nicole Parker. It's a really fun episode. Never been out from behind the paywall, but here it is for you. I think you're going to enjoy it. Plus, if you like this and you want to hear more from Alimony Tony, there's A at least one alimony Tony Vallimony Shoney that we did in 2024 and perhaps another one for this year. Well then you can subscribe to CBB World in the Maximus tier and hear all of those things. As well as get every single episode of Comedy Bang Bang that we've released as well as every live episode we've ever done, all of our archives, all other CBB present shows, all of that and more on CBB World. Check it out. Until then, enjoy this. CBB presents the Alimony. Tony's Vallimony Shoney.

[Rhonda Rota]

CBB presents.

[Alimony Tony]

Hi folks. The name's Alamony Toady. I'm writing those checks and that's no baloney. I've got the funds so I spread the wealth Now I got my checkbook out and here I go Gonna send that dough. I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I like to pay. Send mail, provide, transfer, deliver, stop by with. I said yeah, yeah. Okay, that's enough. That's enough of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Alimony Tony]

Hello everybody and welcome one more year to Alabot's Valabody show. This is the day after the day after Valentine's Day. And as always, I've gathered with handpick selection of some of my wonderful ex wives to just chat about love, loss and everything in between, which I guess is life. I think it starts with love. That life continues and then you lose life. You're dead. Well, you know. And you'll probably know that voice making those little noises.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's me.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Are you going to give me an introduction?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, of course I am, dear. Don't. Now hold on a second. First of all, I think everyone who listens to the show, of course knows you already. But you are my third ex wife number three. That's right. And who could it be but Belinda Rogers.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's right. Of course you can call me Bea or Linda, but Belinda is fine as well.

[Alimony Tony]

Bea or Linda?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Bea or Linda.

[Alimony Tony]

Now it used to be just Linda, but you've added Bea.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I like B. I think in my older age, Bea's more fitting.

[Alimony Tony]

When did you add Bea?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Here's the thing. Belinda was already taking too much time. Linda was taking a little too much time.

[Belinda Rogers]

B.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

We get to it.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Who do you need, B? I need B. I want B. Get over here, B.

[Alimony Tony]

Have you thought about changing your name to just Brodgers?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, I have now.

[Alimony Tony]

Okay.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's Brogers, bro.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, thank you as always for being here every year. It's so nice to see you. Of course you don't look. You haven't aged a day. I don't know how you do it. Maybe you're bored with it, but for people who are listening for the first time, Belinda Rogers. Excuse me.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Thank you.

[Alimony Tony]

And I used to be married, but I also used to be married to many, many, many people. Because I'm just a hopeless romantic. I fall in love easily, quickly and deeply. But they have it all worked out.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I'd like to think we're all special, though, in our own way.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, of course you are. I don't mean to imply that you're interchangeable. You're all different. And I married you all for various wonderful. But it didn't work out.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Do you want to name a few of the reasons you married me? Just to give examples.

[Alimony Tony]

I liked. Here's what I liked about you. And it's still true today as your real girl boss. And I liked that you were.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Stay in line. No, stop it.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

All the things bosses say. Stop it. You were type A, as they say.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Organized to the max. Where's my to do list?

[Alimony Tony]

I like to say you were type negative A, like ahead of A. Yeah. You like that?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I love it.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, you love the kind of thing.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That got us going during our marriage.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. And our marriage lasted. One of my longer marriages lasted two years and we had a. We had a real good time, I think, for a while.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

For a year and a half.

[Alimony Tony]

And then that last six months. Boy.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It wasn't my fault.

[Alimony Tony]

No, I. It. Here's the thing. It very seldom is my fault, your fault or the fault of my correct various other ex wives. And yes, I've had a few. I'm in the high 30s now of divorces.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Is it high 30s now?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And why don't you know the exact number?

[Alimony Tony]

Well, I. I've heard you refer to.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It before as high 30s. I'm just. Is it 37, 38.

[Alimony Tony]

It's almost like being embarrassed of your. Your age. I don't like to the exact number.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

On it because then it must be 39.

[Alimony Tony]

It's 39.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

I'm on my 39th divorce. It's being finalized as we speak. I can do it by docusign now, which is great. And that's. That has saved me a lot of time and then allows me to get right to the part I love the most, which is P. Alabod.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh boy. Do you love it?

[Alimony Tony]

I love it.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You love it.

[Alimony Tony]

Why do I. I bros. I puzzle over this all the time because I know the joy that it gives me.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You won't even do direct deposit. You love signing the check.

[Alimony Tony]

I love signing the check.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You love a paper check.

[Alimony Tony]

And you know, I have a different pen for each wife.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You Hand deliver them every.

[Alimony Tony]

If I can.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Each person.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, yes, yes, if I can. Sometimes I'll do a task, rabbit. But mostly I stop by in person.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah. And for me, it's a great day. I'm driving around and I'm delivering.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You dress up, doing a little dance. It's you skipping around. You're dressed up. You've got mail in your little bag. That's your satchel that's thrown over your shoulder.

[Alimony Tony]

I bought a mail truck just to do it. And I wear my own. A uniform of my own design because I don't want to have be accused of stolen valor. Excellent touch.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I love the uniform, by the way.

[Alimony Tony]

Thank you.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That only came into play just a few years ago, and I think it's a great touch.

[Alimony Tony]

Thank you. People, I hope you notice this, but the stripe doesn't go down the side of the leg. It goes around the thigh. And I think that is.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Makes it stand out.

[Alimony Tony]

That's so people know. Oh, he's just having fun.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

He's.

[Alimony Tony]

And. And so you are still. Thankfully, you are still accepting my alimony checks.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, of course.

[Alimony Tony]

And even though you don't. Let me tell you something, folks. Rogers. The last thing she needs is any man supporting her.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No, I have my own business.

[Alimony Tony]

You have your own business. And tell folks about that.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, I'm an event planner.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

But I only do funerals.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I saw a hole in the market and I thought, I'm going for it.

[Alimony Tony]

And you decided not to call yourself a funeral director.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Belinda Rogers]

That's so passe.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's so passe. Besides, funeral directors, they just plan the funeral. I do from beginning to end. Now, I'm not talking about the life. I'm not there for the birth.

[Alimony Tony]

No, you're not visiting people, new parents in the hospital, saying, okay, I've got some brochures.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Although if you pay ahead of time, you do get a discount, so that is something to think about.

[Alimony Tony]

Which I have, you know.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes, absolutely.

[Alimony Tony]

Nice. You. You fixed me up with a nice package, and it's almost like I can't wait to die.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

The works. The works.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, I went for the works, which is. It's called the brochure. And it includes a minimum of three celebrities to give a sincere toast at your wake.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And it's. And it's a surprise who the celebrities are.

[Alimony Tony]

Exactly.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's a surprise when they show up.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Which is really for your loved ones.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know, I do the party afterwards. I even do the reading. Of the will. What I like to do for that is I call in the lawyer, I call in the people that are on the will. And then I have a few surprise guests. You don't know who's getting what or if you're getting anything.

[Alimony Tony]

So you have people show up that may or may not be members of the family.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Who knows? Only I do. Only I do.

[Alimony Tony]

And sometimes these people are dressed like a. A. Fanciful costumes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Let's make it fun.

[Alimony Tony]

I think one time you had a party, you had a man in a gorilla suit there.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Uhhuh. Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

And who actually turned out to be a son in law. And he was left, I think, $1,000.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And I only had him speak gorilla while he was there. Just to keep character, you know.

[Alimony Tony]

Keep character. This is the number one. It's the golden rule of event planning, especially at funerals. Keep character. Absolutely, Eddie. And do you have any big funerals happening right now?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Boy, do I. I mean, you always do. Yes, I have. Do you remember our old neighbor Maggie? She wasn't old then, but old neighbor, previous neighbor. Maggie.

[Alimony Tony]

Maggie Peanuts.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes, Maggie Peanuts. Guess how she died.

[Alimony Tony]

Are you. No. Produce. Are you going to tell me?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Would I joke about that?

[Alimony Tony]

She choked on some peanuts.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

She did. Should have seen it coming. But none of us did. None of us did.

[Alimony Tony]

Would gobble those peanuts.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

She stopped chewing them. Should just swallow that like a shell and everything. Just throwing them back.

[Alimony Tony]

She would put a peanut on a dog and then take a glass of water.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Kids from around the neighborhood would gather around just to watch her do it. It was a whole circus.

[Alimony Tony]

Those kids were flabbergasted. I can still hear them.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I know.

[Alimony Tony]

Backwards baseball caps.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I can't hear him anymore because she died.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh. Oh, I bet the kids.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

So we don't yet. We don't hear the kids. She died.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, you don't hear the kids because she died.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes. They're not calling for Maggie. They're not calling for a ghost.

[Alimony Tony]

I thought she took some with them.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That would have been hilarious if she would. So Maggie, by the way, so Maggie.

[Alimony Tony]

Maggie hated kids. And she often said, I wish murder was legal for children.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Maggie, she was a hoot.

[Alimony Tony]

She was a real hoot. She used to have those dinner parties, right? And I remember that she served peanuts. And she served peanuts. Everything was made out of peanuts.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Peanut butter, peanut brittle.

[Alimony Tony]

A peanut loaf.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Peanut. Oh, God, the peanut loaf.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, the peanut loaf. God, if I could get my hands on that. That recipe.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, you probably could, right? Well, can you rifle through her stuff?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know how does it work? I mean, actually, since I'm in charge of the funeral, I have access to an entire home.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

All her belongings.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. And you can always say for the ceremony. What if you read it out at the ceremony and said, here is the peanut loaf. Or if you've got somebody famous to do it.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah, I'd rather. You know, I don't like to take part. It just. That feels like it's crossing a professional line. If I take part of the. I mean, obviously I'm there to mourn our friend and celebrate her life, which is why. Which is my whole life, you know, goal when I'm planning these events. Celebration. But I think that hiring someone to sing the recipe. Yeah, you know what? This is just coming to mind.

[Alimony Tony]

It be like a fat boy slit.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, I'm sorry, am I not. Am I not. Am I not looking at a professional singer?

[Alimony Tony]

Wow.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Now you eye to eye with a professional singer.

[Alimony Tony]

You know, the last thing I was a professional singer.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, well, you are. You were to me.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, you always. You of all my wives always appreciated my singing voice, which I think is. I could carry a tune. But of course, I love. As you heard in the opening, I love to write song parodies.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I'm just learning now that they are parodies. I thought they were original.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, you thought they were the regular song. Oh, no. I feel terrible.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, why?

[Alimony Tony]

I feel like I've had a lot.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

What a talent. I was married.

[Alimony Tony]

So you thought I was writing all these songs.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I did. And I thought, what a clever man. I mean, that's why I fell in love with you. It's actually nice to hear now that that's not the case.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Because it really separate. Oh, that was a good decision, you know, to divorce him.

[Alimony Tony]

Right, right, right.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

He's not an original songwriter.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. And all the songs are copies of people paying alimony. And I'm sure that was a red flag at some point.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes and no.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. Okay, walk me through yes or no.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know, working in the business that I do and working with different celebrities, stars, performers, I looked as your professional singing career as you were playing a character.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know, and that character liked playing alimony because remember when we were married, there were only two previous.

[Alimony Tony]

That's true.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

So is three make a pattern. I don't know. I don't think so.

[Alimony Tony]

It does. That's exactly what makes a pattern.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, well, sure, one could say that. But I mean, when you're in love, you ignore the red flags.

[Alimony Tony]

And I don't really.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I mean, if there were 10, then maybe I'd say, hey, should I look into that 39. Okay, maybe beware. But, you know, three, I was a girl in love. You know, Babe Ruth's number, which obviously.

[Alimony Tony]

Babe Ruth's number was number three. I didn't know that.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, you know, I'm a huge Babe Ruth fan.

[Alimony Tony]

I know you exclude you don't really care for baseball, but you are a huge Babe Ruth.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Both for his other hobbies and, I.

[Alimony Tony]

Mean, he was boring. And drinking.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

Getting syphilis.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And did he do it well? He really did do it well.

[Alimony Tony]

He really did. I think he still holds the record in the major leagues.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Almost.

[Alimony Tony]

Syphilis gotten. Well, Rogers, I'm so happy that the business is going gangbusters and it's boom, indeed. And it's not surprising to me at all. But what do you say we welcome some of our other guests and I don't think you've met any of these ladies.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I am so excited to meet the ladies who we share so much in common.

[Alimony Tony]

So much. I mean, one thing at least.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's enough. That's enough. That's enough to make a best friend.

[Alimony Tony]

Sometimes it is. I mean, you know, who, who, what was it. Was it fast fashion? Who said people are people? All right, we're going to bring in. This is an ex wife of mine. We're going to. This is a right smack dab in the middle. This is number 16. This is my number 16. And her name is Jodi Casarel. Jody. What a pleasure.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, Tony.

[Alimony Tony]

How have you been, darling?

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, my God. Is it just me? I feel like the energy is palpable. Oh, my God, you.

[Alimony Tony]

I feel there's something that's so magical when I get together with some of the ex wives and just go stroll down memory lane. And I'm so excited to watch them meet each other.

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, Brony. Brony. Sorry, Rogers.

[Alimony Tony]

You're thinking of me because I'm a Brody. Exactly.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, my God. How could I? I was practicing in my car all the way just to say hello to you because you are a girl boss and the boss of all of our houses.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Stop it. Don't. I'm just kidding.

[Alimony Tony]

She loves to hear it. She loves.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, you are just gorgeous. She's gorgeous.

[Alimony Tony]

She's gorgeous, isn't she?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

How did you let this one get away?

[Alimony Tony]

Well, things didn't work out. What did happen with us? Because we were married for three months and I would. I want to say the. The first two and a half months were heaven on earth.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, it was like a vacation away from real life. And then I needed a vacation for my vacation. Sorry. Sorry to say it.

[Alimony Tony]

That does happen. That does happen. We grew apart. I want to say, two and a half months and one day in. And we just wanted different things.

[Jody Casarelli]

It's true. It's true. I wanted you to be more hands on. And you did not want to recognize the invisible work.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. That's right. I. That was a term that was new to me and I thought it was made up. I thought, well, things are not invisible. That's from. That's from H.G. wells. And it took me years to understand what you were talking about. And I want to say. I know I've said it before, but I want to say it again. I'm sorry. And I wish I could have been a better husband to you.

[Jody Casarelli]

So me, I can't stay mad at you. Oh, my God, that gorgeous.

[Alimony Tony]

You can if you want, but I'm glad you don't.

[Jody Casarelli]

No, no, no, no. It's all water under the bridge. You know, I was actually just thinking about the day we met.

[Alimony Tony]

Did you say you were sexually thinking about it?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's what I heard.

[Jody Casarelli]

I was. I was sexually thinking. It's kind of like a mindful meditation. It's like, I'm gonna get in my sex zone now.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I've heard of this. I've heard of this.

[Jody Casarelli]

You have?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah. How long are you meditating for? When?

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, 30, 45 minutes. And this is as I'm driving, as I'm operating the bus that I drive. Like just, you know, I'm picking and choosing.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, yeah, I remember. And of course, driving a bus is what you wanted to. And I just. I couldn't see it. I just couldn't see it. I thought it was. I thought you just had a. It was a pipe dream. And I thought, she's never going to be able to drive that bus. And then you did it. You did it. You sure showed me.

[Jody Casarelli]

Thank you so much for acknowledging that. Because do you remember I would support all of your dreams absolutely, 100%.

[Alimony Tony]

Every one of my pipe dreams. Do you remember I was gonna build an underground tunnel from here to the bank so I didn't have to take surface streets to get new checks because I constantly have to refill my checkbook.

[Jody Casarelli]

Exactly, exactly.

[Alimony Tony]

And so I thought, I wanna spend that time picking out a background picture for the checkbook. I don't wanna be driving, waiting at red lights and so forth. And you said you could do it, Tony. And of course I couldn't and legally, there's so many things you' allowed to do that.

[Jody Casarelli]

No, you're not.

[Alimony Tony]

No.

[Jody Casarelli]

Zoning and whatnot.

[Alimony Tony]

So much zoning.

[Rhonda Rota]

But you.

[Jody Casarelli]

You made good use of that space. You had what, the murder mystery thing?

[Alimony Tony]

The murder mystery hole, where I would invite people over and I would say, let's get this hole. And I would say, cover the hole. There's been a murder.

[Jody Casarelli]

But then. Then there actually was a murder. Which was not what you were expecting.

[Alimony Tony]

No, it certainly was not what I was expecting. The lights went out, and one of my guests just lost it and just started swinging a knife, a butter knife, but really did some damage. And. And, yeah, I moved away from that house because I felt like, you know, bad, bad, bad racing juju. Yeah.

[Jody Casarelli]

But also, you know, just the way you would be like, joanie, my friends are coming over. There's 12 of my closest, most judgmental friends. You need to, you know, get a dinner together. And that's what I meant by the. By the invisible work.

[Alimony Tony]

Right, right. Oh, no, I see that now. Of course.

[Jody Casarelli]

Right, of course. And you know me, if I'm gonna throw a. Gonna do it right.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. Well, the one dinner party that you did throw during our two and a half months together. Well, technically three. Was a glorious affair. And I remember. I thought. I thought, am I one of these salons from the Roaring twenties, Paris? Everyone's so. They're positively glittering, these people. And they were all bus drivers.

[Jody Casarelli]

That's what I wanted to show everyone. Like, the ideas that you have about bus drivers, it's not real. We're actually very classy people.

[Alimony Tony]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Jody Casarelli]

Now, definitely. Did they take a couple of your belongings?

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Jody Casarelli]

But ultimately a good night. No.

[Alimony Tony]

Do you think they took some of my belongings because I was, in some way insulted them?

[Jody Casarelli]

You were being a little braggy.

[Alimony Tony]

Was I really?

[Jody Casarelli]

You were being a little braggy.

[Alimony Tony]

What was I saying?

[Belinda Rogers]

You were just like, oh, I don't.

[Jody Casarelli]

Even care about these things. I got 12 of each of them. So they said, why not?

[Alimony Tony]

You know what? And they were right. I don't blame them. In retrospect.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Seems like you were asking for it.

[Alimony Tony]

No, I think I was asking for it. But I was. I remember the wine was flowing, and I was. I was deep in my cups for sure. And at one point, I think I remember the last memory I have of the evening is drinking a bottle of olive oil and saying, you can just drink it. It's.

[Jody Casarelli]

You went through with that. You went through with that.

[Alimony Tony]

What I loved also was that your friends, the Bus drivers were all wearing their dress uniforms.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, yeah. They put their darks on.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jody Casarelli]

They know. They knew. They said, if we're going over to Tony's house, this is going to be where we show out. Yeah, they put their. They put their buses in park and.

[Alimony Tony]

They each drove their own bus.

[Jody Casarelli]

Their own bus. And as you said in the E fight, you said it's going to be limited. Limited space. And yet those guys were doing wheelies in the parking spots and you know.

[Alimony Tony]

They were doing wheelies in the parking.

[Jody Casarelli]

Spot just on two wheels.

[Alimony Tony]

Two bus wheels.

[Jody Casarelli]

I never see the, like, oh, the lawn was ruined. But that, that, that night, it felt so magical.

[Alimony Tony]

It really did.

[Jody Casarelli]

And can I just say brudgers, when, when I looked. When I looked at Tony's eyes that night, I felt like he actually saw me. Did you feel like that in your.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Marriage for the first year and a half? Absolutely.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

He's got those eyes. It looks right into your soul.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Some people say that I don't have bedroom eyes. I have living room eyes because people can see. I look at you like we're gonna spend a life together.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, my God. I'm sorry, I'm taking back. I'm going to my sexual space again, I guess.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, boy, are we meditating? Are we meta? Is it? Are we going there?

[Alimony Tony]

We can do a group med after the show.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, yeah. I love that.

[Scott Aukerman]

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs. Oh, boy. We're having entrepreneurs back on the show and they're going to use helps entrepreneurs stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. You can get 10% off your first purchase of a website or [e-mail] Bang Bang. Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks of the dear mouse, my dear boy, and start receiving payments right away. Plus, give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like and here we go with them. They're going to sound made up, but maybe you know what they are. Klarna Ach Direct debit in the US Apple pay afterpay in the US And Canada, and Clear pay in the uk Squarespace. Look, what do I need to say about them. We've been using them now for it feels like I know it's over a decade. I think we did all the earwolf websites with Squarespace. They're the best. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you are ready to launch squarespace.com Bang Bang will save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Thanks Squarespace. Comedy Bang Bang is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are some of your relationship green flags? We all know about red flags. The red flags we should avoid. But what about the green flags? Green of course, code for go, go, go. Move forward if you're not sure what they look like. Therapy can help you identify green flags. Actively practice them in your relationships and embody the green flag. Energy yourself. BetterHelp is fully online making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Bang Bang to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelphelp.com Bang Bang is your child struggling with a specific subject or need help with their homework? Well, IXL Learning is an online learning program for kids. It covers math, language arts, science and social studies. Now if your child is struggling, this is the smartest investment you can make. Let's contrast this A single hour of tutoring costs more than a month of IXL. One subscription gets you everything and IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. my child is not old enough to study these things yet, but by all accounts, school has gotten even harder than when I was in there. Every kid needs help and this is the perfect way to do it. Make an impact on your child's learning by getting IXL now and Comedy Bang Bang listeners. You can get exclusively 20% off IXL memberships when you sign up [e-mail] Bang Bang. Visit ixl.com Bang Bang to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Thanks, ixl.

[Alimony Tony]

Let me ask you something good. How is the busing going? What's new and busting these days?

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, I I I was mandated to stop.

[Alimony Tony]

Why you were bad day?

[Jody Casarelli]

I was mandated to stop.

[Alimony Tony]

Who issued this mandate?

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, the school districts. Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, so you switched over to school?

[Jody Casarelli]

I did school. Yeah. I did public for a while, then school and I did a little bit of Flare. Because the kids liked it in the bus.

[Alimony Tony]

Right.

[Jody Casarelli]

And they said that was illegal and it was dangerous. So I, I just got the bus out there. You know, sometimes I let some kids hang out in there, smoke weed because I'm kind of cool like that. But, yeah, those days are over.

[Alimony Tony]

So the, I guess some of the parents got wind of this, though. They went to the school board.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

And you've always been a proponent of marijuana legalization?

[Jody Casarelli]

Always.

[Alimony Tony]

As long as I've known.

[Jody Casarelli]

Get them out, I say get them out.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. And you, and I think at one point you said it should be mandatory.

[Jody Casarelli]

I said put it. If there isn't a dispensary by your school, then what are you doing exactly?

[Alimony Tony]

Put THC in the water supply.

[Jody Casarelli]

Exactly.

[Alimony Tony]

We're going to put fluoride in there. Why don't we relax everyone.

[Jody Casarelli]

Exactly. Chill out. Everyone chill out.

[Alimony Tony]

And so, and so what do you now, since you're not driving the school bus, what are you doing?

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, you know that space under the house?

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Jody Casarelli]

I'm doing my own murder mystery.

[Alimony Tony]

So you've stayed, you've, you've moved back into that house?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Jody Casarelli]

Why?

[Alimony Tony]

When did that happen?

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, because, you know, you were giving me all those checks and I said, oh, my God, these have really piled up. I'm going to get myself a space. And that one was on the market.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And it was so cheap, probably because of the murder that had taken place.

[Alimony Tony]

Because you have to disclose it.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You do. And then it brings the price way down.

[Alimony Tony]

You know, you have to disclose it, but you don't have to, like, act it out, which I, I, I shouldn't have done.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's a shame.

[Alimony Tony]

I shouldn't have done. I said it was like this, and then I, I, you know, I would turn the lights, start swinging a butter knife around and, and so, and so you're hosting now Murder Mysteries.

[Jody Casarelli]

I am. And it's all, all done with, like, ambiance. So I'm doing a lot with lighting, I'm doing a lot of scents.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Jody Casarelli]

And one of the kids.

[Alimony Tony]

What are some of the scents you do?

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, one of them is based off of you. Tony.

[Alimony Tony]

No.

[Jody Casarelli]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

You've put me in the, in the murder mystery. Well, I, this is, I, I, Should I be flattered?

[Jody Casarelli]

Of course, of course. That's everyone's favorite.

[Alimony Tony]

Is it really? So what happens with, with the Tony character?

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, I turn off all the lights, make sure there's no knives in there.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Jody Casarelli]

And then I just spray a bunch of, of Aqua Geo. Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Signature scent.

[Jody Casarelli]

Yeah, I still wear it. And then I do just a couple of loud breathing noises. Just like that. Someone's sleeping in there.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, I see. So slow, steady breathing noises.

[Jody Casarelli]

That's right.

[Alimony Tony]

And so. So the lights are out. And then the guests. What did they do?

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, they're so confused. At the beginning, they say, where were we? Why does it smell like this guy? And then I turn all the lights on and said, there's been a murder.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, my word.

[Jody Casarelli]

And then I describe what you were like in the relationship. And it's tough to get the crowd going because they're happy that the character said it first and then the character based on me.

[Belinda Rogers]

Right, right, right.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

But she talks about the relationship, so of course, then they're like, oh, kill him. You know what I mean?

[Alimony Tony]

So there's a guy there who is essentially me. And then you say, here's what our relationship was like. It was bad. And does he say anything or did he just pretend?

[Jody Casarelli]

No, he's pretty much just there. Yeah, he just stays there. Actually, you might know him.

[Alimony Tony]

Who is it?

[Jody Casarelli]

It's Chris.

[Alimony Tony]

You're kidding me.

[Jody Casarelli]

It's Chris Dunk.

[Alimony Tony]

Chris Dunk.

[Jody Casarelli]

Chris Dunk from local high school.

[Alimony Tony]

Chronk is playing me? Yeah, Chris Dunk, the science teacher.

[Jody Casarelli]

That's right.

[Alimony Tony]

Is he still teaching science? I heard he was defrosted because he tried to slip some creationism in there.

[Jody Casarelli]

Yeah, yeah. He's defrocked, but he's. I'm. I'm giving him a nice paycheck, and I. I let him sleep on the couch sometimes. So he's doing all right.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, it doesn't sound like he's doing all right.

[Jody Casarelli]

He's fine.

[Alimony Tony]

He's gonna sleep on the couch sometimes. Is he genuinely asleep as part of the motor mystery?

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. He's got his little. You know those old peanut butter jars? Yeah, he'll just.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, I know them. Yeah, I know those. Yeah, those old peanut butter jars. Absolutely.

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, he'll just eat a full one of those during the show, and it knocks him right out. And you know what else?

[Alimony Tony]

I'm sorry? When you say, you know, those whole peanut butter jars, you mean just jars of peanut butter? Okay, so he'll eat one of those.

[Jody Casarelli]

You copy that?

[Alimony Tony]

Copy that.

[Jody Casarelli]

Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

And so that knocks him out.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, yeah.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

How does that knock him out? Does he have, like, a small allergy to peanuts?

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, yeah. Which is interesting that your neighbor Maggie Peanuts had passed. Yeah, it's. I don't know why he does it to himself, but it makes him Sleep. And he does a real crazy snore. And then for months afterwards, he'll just drink water out of those empty peanut butter jars.

[Rhonda Rota]

He's doing great.

[Alimony Tony]

Does he. Does he fully rinse the jaws out?

[Jody Casarelli]

No.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No.

[Alimony Tony]

That's what I was afraid of.

[Jody Casarelli]

Anyways, I just wanted to say the. The years with you, Tony, were gorgeous. I learned a lot about myself and the boundaries. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Belinda Rogers]

Here I go again.

[Alimony Tony]

Jody, come on. You're wonderful. You are. I don't deserve this. You are. You are. I. If I could do it all over again, I know I would be different. I'd be doing that transparent work, and I would be a better husband to you. And I'm sorry that I wasn't.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh, my God.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Can I give you a hug? Ex wife.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, look at. This is wonderful to see. This is. They're actually doing it.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, why wouldn't we? I just said I wanted to give her a hug. Not a liar.

[Alimony Tony]

I've done a liar. This is for the. For the listeners.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. Just narrating.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I'm sure they believed that we were doing it.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, I. Just. Filling the silence.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

If I say I'm gonna give someone a hug, I'm giving them a hug, so you. Stop it.

[Alimony Tony]

Don't do you. Stop it. The boss says. Do you think this is why we got divorced?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Because you always called me a liar? That's one of the reasons, yes.

[Alimony Tony]

I don't know that I. I don't know that I actually called me a liar.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You always insinuated that I was a liar.

[Alimony Tony]

You interpreted that I insinuated you were lying.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't interpret anything. Okay, you insinuated.

[Alimony Tony]

Right? You inferred that I insinuated that you alone.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

This is what I'm talking about. How many words do we have to say that start with I? The message is the same.

[Alimony Tony]

You intuited an inference.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No, stop it.

[Alimony Tony]

Cool. The boss has spoken. Well, Jody, thank you so much for being here. You can stick around, right?

[Jody Casarelli]

Yeah, of course.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, fantastic. Because we have more guests to introduce. This is an exciting time. Always. Next up, this is wife number 27. We were married for six and a half months, and I'm happy to see her again. We haven't seen each other in a few years.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Lizzie Jacquioroti. That's right. That's my last name. She's kept my last name.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah.

[Rhonda Rota]

Sue me.

[Alimony Tony]

I won't. I mean, we. We did technically sue each other. That's why we're divorced. We sued for divorce. But I'm not. I'm certainly not. I'm. I'm flattered that you. That you took my name and you KE it. I'm very surprised.

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, I didn't want to keep my own.

[Alimony Tony]

Right. And why was that?

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, I'm looking to start a new life. And I wanted to start a new life, kind of my whole life. And the opportunity to change my name came along and I thought, okay, this is a great opportunity to start a new life. So at that point, I basically decided to start a new life.

[Alimony Tony]

Okay, so new life underway. And Lizzy, why. Why was it that you've always felt that way, that you wanted to start. You say you've always wanted to start a new life. Like, how far did you get in before you said, I, I gotta die, I gotta do this?

[Belinda Rogers]

I think as soon as I gained sentience, I wanted it to twist.

[Alimony Tony]

When does that happen? For toddlerhood is when you're. You. You're sentient.

[Belinda Rogers]

I mean, I remember being able to kind of comprehend that I was a person within a few hours of being alive. I know that's not normal. That's not normal.

[Alimony Tony]

No.

[Belinda Rogers]

But that's sort of where I start. That's where I started feeling bad about sort of what was going on with me.

[Alimony Tony]

Because you were hungry, you sleepy, you needed your diaper.

[Belinda Rogers]

There's so much that was out of my control.

[Alimony Tony]

I mean, that's why babies, we don't want them to be thinking about these things. Because if you really think about it, it's miserable.

[Belinda Rogers]

It's pretty bleak.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Belinda Rogers]

So, yeah, I felt sort of trapped. And then I felt trapped for a long time. And then I met you at the Sephora counter.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Belinda Rogers]

And I.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

He loves Sephora.

[Belinda Rogers]

He loves.

[Alimony Tony]

I just love.

[Belinda Rogers]

First of all, hi, Rogers.

[Alimony Tony]

Of course.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Another gorgeous one. I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. You know how to pick him.

[Alimony Tony]

It just. It just happens that way.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Brown hair, brown hair, brown hair. They're all gorgeous.

[Belinda Rogers]

Gorgeous.

[Alimony Tony]

Happens that way.

[Belinda Rogers]

And by the way, not a natural brunette.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know this. Tony. Tony, did you know?

[Alimony Tony]

I had my suspicions, but it's being confirmed right now.

[Belinda Rogers]

I'm actually. My hair is actually really dark brunette, naturally.

[Alimony Tony]

I guess you've lightened it.

[Belinda Rogers]

I'm all about, like, transformation. Looking different.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Belinda Rogers]

That's why. I mean, that's why I was immediately. They wanted me to work at Sephora. I sort of just walked in and I looked so unique that I got A job on the spot at the makeup counter. They said, this girl is going to do something to everyone.

[Alimony Tony]

What? What A prophecy. This girl's going to do something to everyone. And. And I dare I say, I think you have achieved that. I think, because you are, I think, the only famous Sephora employee in the world.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

People that you get for theft. Yes. You stole so much from Sephora. Not just money for the register, but also products, samples, shelves.

[Belinda Rogers]

I. My house is full of Sephora shelves. And you won't believe they make amazing bookshelves, especially when you actually paint, like the sort of inside panel of it.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Belinda Rogers]

That's a pop of color. Love a pop of color.

[Alimony Tony]

Beautiful. Beautiful.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

And do you put the products on the shelf or do you use them as bookshelves, as you say?

[Belinda Rogers]

I mostly use them as bookshelves. I have a massive magazine collection.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. You love magazines.

[Belinda Rogers]

It's my favorite kind of book.

[Alimony Tony]

And you never threw it away.

[Belinda Rogers]

Never.

[Alimony Tony]

You never threw it away. You'd leave this. You'd leave the ads in there, the little postcards, the. The perfume samples. You left the magazines intact.

[Belinda Rogers]

I love a stinky magazine full of perfume.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

What are some of your favorite magazines?

[Belinda Rogers]

I love Golf Weekly. I. But only because of the fashion.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Absolutely.

[Belinda Rogers]

I love a polo and a skort.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Can't get over a skirt.

[Belinda Rogers]

I love a skort, except for when I have to pee. Right, right.

[Alimony Tony]

I tried wearing skorts for a little bit because Harry styles.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, back in the 90s, though. You did it.

[Alimony Tony]

I did it first because of Star Trek. The Next Generation.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

And I remember they tried to. They tried to justify the mini skirts from the 60s by having some of the guys wear little skirts. They're like, see, everybody can wear them. And I guess they stopped doing that after the first episode.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You looked great in them, by the way.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, thank you.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Great pair of legs. I'll give you the.

[Alimony Tony]

I've been blessed with a. With a good pair of legs.

[Belinda Rogers]

I love a guy in something tiny.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Sure, sure, Lizzy.

[Alimony Tony]

Speaking of lovely guys, are you. Have you remarried? Have you moved on? We. We. We've lost touch. I mean, I'm still sending you the checks, but I. Well, of course. And I always will. For as long as you. For as long as. As. As we both shall live. As they say, until God is his wisdom separates us by death.

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, wow, that was beautiful. And that's the way you always talked, and I love that. I love that. No guys really talk like that. Yeah. But actually, no, I haven't remarried, which is so Funny, because I'm actually. I'm gonna go on Love Island.

[Alimony Tony]

The television program?

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

You're gonna go.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I have not seen that. Tv. That's a TV show.

[Alimony Tony]

It's a television program.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Love Island. They go to an island. I'm assuming.

[Alimony Tony]

I haven't seen it. My. But they. I also have that assumption. Can you confirm? They go to Ireland.

[Belinda Rogers]

Singles from all across the world gather in a casa where they have the opportunity to fall in love with people who are so different, yet so alike from all of them.

[Alimony Tony]

So it is. The purpose is to find love.

[Belinda Rogers]

It's Love Island. You're going there to fall in love. And I just love the idea of being in a big house of people who are so hot and will hopefully fall in love with me for my various traits.

[Alimony Tony]

So you want multiple people to fall in love with you?

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, fingers crossed. Us one would be boring, right?

[Alimony Tony]

I guess I can attest to that. But one at a time. One at a time. Just so people know, I was. I never. I never started a relationship before the first one ended.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No, you are not a cheater. I can say that for sure.

[Alimony Tony]

Not a cheater. I was invited to appear on the show Cheetahs, and I said, sorry, I can't.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I said, I. I have. I have nothing to give.

[Alimony Tony]

Sorry, Tommy.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I do it. I have nothing for the show.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. Right.

[Belinda Rogers]

It's so cool that you were honest about that because so many people are desperate for screen time.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, I. You know, I guess I never really craved the limelight except for my music parody videos, which still to this day, the only views are mine on YouTube.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I just remembered their parodies again. Unbelievable.

[Alimony Tony]

So in the intervening minutes, you have forgotten, and now it's a.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

When you think something for so many years, you know, Absolutely hard to change that thought.

[Alimony Tony]

Very true.

[Belinda Rogers]

Kind of adjusting a worldview on the fly, which is a big deal for her. You could acknowledge.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Thank you. Thank you so much. Appreciate that.

[Rhonda Rota]

I love.

[Belinda Rogers]

I'm total girl's girl, Lizzie.

[Alimony Tony]

You're right, Broges. I see you and I hear you.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And I feel seen and heard. Thank you. Gracias.

[Alimony Tony]

Indubitably.

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, there it is. Another cool, awesome word that you take out of your hat.

[Alimony Tony]

So, Lizzie, what do you. What do you. You're definitely going to be on Love Island.

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, okay, so I. I was trying to get on Love island, us. And they said that I am a security risk because of my Sephora incident, which, as we know, is disputed in the courts by me representing me. And so I'm trying to do Love Island British, but I actually don't really know the language that well. So I'm just trying to familiarize myself.

[Alimony Tony]

With the language of Great Brit Britain.

[Belinda Rogers]

The culture and the language of Britain. Right.

[Alimony Tony]

It's, I believe they speak English, but it's different.

[Belinda Rogers]

Like it's different culture.

[Alimony Tony]

They have an accent and some words of course are different when they talk.

[Belinda Rogers]

I have no idea what the they're saying. So to me it's a completely different language.

[Alimony Tony]

The people, I will give you that. The people on the British people on reality shows are in inscrutable. You have no idea what they're saying.

[Belinda Rogers]

They go, you might get me off and go, what did you just say?

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, I have no idea.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah, exactly. And then all of a sudden everyone's like, oh, yeah, like that they said something.

[Alimony Tony]

Exactly.

[Belinda Rogers]

And so I'm just basically at this point trying to kind of immerse myself in the culture. Watching a lot of Harry Potter, watching a bunch of like, plays and stuff. Like whenever, like a Shakespeare comes to town or something like that, I'm kind of watching that.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, like station 11.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

Why don't we cut right to that where the costumes are made out of cardboard. I, I, I would go see that. You know, costumes, yeah, Shakespeare.

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, yeah. I mean, look, what did you think I met Lizzie? I actually had no idea what you were talking about.

[Alimony Tony]

That's fair, because if you haven't seen Station 11, it's meaningless to you. Yeah, yeah.

[Belinda Rogers]

But I wanted to agree because I wanted you to feel supported.

[Alimony Tony]

Do you think this is why it did work out with us?

[Belinda Rogers]

Because I pretend to know about stuff I don't understand or something else?

[Alimony Tony]

No, just communication. Because I could have communicated better what I was seeing in my mind and I didn't do a good job. And it puts you in an awkward position because you don't want to sound dumb and so you just say yes, absolutely. Then I was agreeing to a lot.

[Belinda Rogers]

Of stuff that I didn't know what it meant.

[Alimony Tony]

But here's what I think is wonderful, Lizzy, and, and, and makes me so happy, is that you then had the courage that so many of us don't have to say. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Belinda Rogers]

And that's gross because I wasn't doing that when we were together. Like you said, let's get in a moose bouche. And I literally thought we were going to like a park.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah. But we were just going in the kitchen.

[Belinda Rogers]

We were going to the kitchen. So imagine my disappointment. I think I'm getting on like a Ferris wheel or something and then we're just going to the kitchen holding the plate.

[Alimony Tony]

Those were your exact words?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Belinda Rogers]

And imagine that's happening like 300 times a day.

[Alimony Tony]

That's worrying.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Is that. Is that. Would you say that was what happened? It was 300 times a day. You were misconstruing things and saying that you understood them.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Oof. That's a lot.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's as if you were speaking the language of Great Britain to her. You know, she didn't understand.

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, wow.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

She was not bilingual. This is in the Tony language.

[Belinda Rogers]

You should be, like, doing therapist.

[Alimony Tony]

You should be doing therapist because this is, dare I say, illuminating.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, because I plan funerals. I'm very connected emotionally to people.

[Alimony Tony]

Because people are crying, they're cursing, it's.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Crying, and then there's. Sometimes there's a celebration. You think, whoa, why are you celebrating? You know, why are you happy? Oh, it's mixed emotions. You can't judge. Judge grieving. But enough about me.

[Alimony Tony]

Unless it seems clear that it's a murder. So, Lizzie, you feel. You feel that you have grown as a person and now you're no longer misconstruing things 300 times a day.

[Belinda Rogers]

I. I'm still misconstruing everything, but I'm really good at being like. I don't get it now.

[Alimony Tony]

Okay, so you do still say yes. First I say. And then you say.

[Belinda Rogers]

And then I go.

[Alimony Tony]

Hold on a second.

[Belinda Rogers]

Just kidding, right? Just kidding. Don't know what's going on. Don't know where I am, don't remember anything.

[Alimony Tony]

I think just kidding is a great way to phrase it because it takes the tension out of everything. You know what? I. Just kidding. I didn't. I didn't understand that.

[Rhonda Rota]

Just kidding.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah, just kidding. I'm lost, by the way. Other wife, bus driver. Gorgeous. Stunning. Here.

[Alimony Tony]

Jody, this is Lizzy.

[Jody Casarelli]

So nice to meet you. Honestly, like, I. I think I may have seen you at Sephora because I was working at the mall at that point.

[Alimony Tony]

Did you see a picture behind the counter, baby?

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, yeah, that's what it was. I wish I could get my hands on you and give you a cat eye.

[Alimony Tony]

Really?

[Belinda Rogers]

You would look amazing with a massive cat. Think Amy Winehouse. Massive cat times 100.

[Jody Casarelli]

So basically my face.

[Belinda Rogers]

Cat eye, basically down to your ankles.

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, everyone says I couldn't do that cuz I had a hooded eye.

[Belinda Rogers]

No, no, no, we're giving you a cat eye that goes all the way down to your back. Becomes a tramp stamp of a little butterfly.

[Jody Casarelli]

Oh my God. I am awakened. Oh my God.

[Rhonda Rota]

That's.

[Jody Casarelli]

That's hot. That's incredibly hot.

[Belinda Rogers]

Netcredit is here to say yes because you're more than a credit score.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner.

[Jody Casarelli]

Banks and service by NetCredit application subject.

[Belinda Rogers]

To review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners NetCredit credit.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

To the people.

[G]

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now boarding Group A, please have your boarding passes ready to scan. If your phone is cracked old or was chewed up by your Chihuahua. A travel companion, please refrain from holding up the line and instead simply go to Verizon and trade in any phone in any condition from one of their top brands. For the new Samsung Galaxy S25 plus with Galaxy AI on Unlimited ultimate and Watch or tap also on them. Service plan required for Watch or Tap. Trade in and additional terms apply. See verizon.com for details.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

For a limited time, you can get KFC Chicken with the sweet heat of hot honey. Honey.

[Alimony Tony]

And after one bite, you'll wonder, how.

[Rhonda Rota]

Do bees make hot honey so hot?

[Alimony Tony]

Are they special bees?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Does KFC have dragon bees?

[Rhonda Rota]

Fire breathing dragon bees that create spicy honey? No, silly.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

There's no such thing.

[Rhonda Rota]

KFC just partnered with Mike's Hot Honey to drizzle all over their crispy chicken.

[Alimony Tony]

But dragon bees would be so cool.

[Rhonda Rota]

Try it now for only $7 or.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Share a box with friends for 25. Prices and participation vary. While supplies last, taxes, tips and fees extra.

[Alimony Tony]

Lizzy, have you ever been on a bus?

[Belinda Rogers]

A bus? Yes, to the best of my knowledge, nowhere near.

[Alimony Tony]

Do you know what a bus is?

[Belinda Rogers]

Just kidding. I don't know.

[Alimony Tony]

Okay, the bus is, you know, cars.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

But the bus is the tall one of those that's very long.

[Belinda Rogers]

Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Belinda Rogers]

Huh.

[Alimony Tony]

Can you see it in your mind?

[Belinda Rogers]

No.

[Alimony Tony]

All right. See, that was so fast.

[Belinda Rogers]

Thank you. I actually don't really have a mind's eye. People always talk about a mind's eye. Like, I see it in my mind's eye and I actually don't really have one.

[Alimony Tony]

You can't imagine things.

[Belinda Rogers]

No.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know, this makes sense.

[Alimony Tony]

What happens when somebody says, you know, like, if. If you shut your eyes, can you picture what I look like?

[Belinda Rogers]

Black.

[Alimony Tony]

Just black.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Darkness cave.

[Belinda Rogers]

Because I didn't even know that was abnormal. Because people were talking about like, you close your eyes and you see stuff. And I was like, you mean black void, but you're kind of thinking about somewhere and they're like, no. Like, you see something. I was like, oh, my God, that's missing. And me.

[Alimony Tony]

But you used to. I understand now because you used to talk about your dreams, and from what. From what I gather now, you never had a dream.

[Belinda Rogers]

No, I think I have, like, goals.

[Alimony Tony]

Right. But when you go. When you go to bed, sleepy time.

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, no, I don't think so.

[Alimony Tony]

Right.

[Belinda Rogers]

Which is fine.

[Alimony Tony]

It makes sense now because you would say, like, oh, when I went to sleep, I. I was on the moon and I worked at Sephora, and no matter. You would just. Basically, you would just say, I went to sleep. And you would name an exotic place. You would say, I worked.

[Belinda Rogers]

I worked at Sephora. Yeah, well, I mean, I think it's also kind of nice because, like, my reality is my dream.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, that. Oh, that's very profound. And I think it's aspirational.

[Belinda Rogers]

And how so what is that?

[Alimony Tony]

I think it. An aspiration is when you. Well, for lack of a better term, it's a dream that you have. It's something that you want to come true, so.

[Rhonda Rota]

I know.

[Jody Casarelli]

And that kind of way.

[Belinda Rogers]

Why wouldn't you just say dream? Like, why wouldn't you just say the word that you know that I know, kind of.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Right. That is. That's a great question.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, here's what I think aspirational implies. Sorry, for an I word that you. You could definitely achieve it. There's a way to do it. Whereas a dream is like, you know, wouldn't that be nice?

[Belinda Rogers]

Love island is like an aspiration. Exactly. It has to happen or else.

[Alimony Tony]

Wow. I guess. Yeah. Cool.

[Belinda Rogers]

I think I understand.

[Alimony Tony]

Let me ask you this, Lizzie. If Love island doesn't work out, is there any other aspirations that you have?

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, I guess, Fingers crossed. If it doesn't work out, I'll be at the bottom of the ocean with cement tied around my ankle.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, Lizzie, that's bleak.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I didn't see that coming.

[Alimony Tony]

I didn't see that coming.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I thought the ocean, the island. I thought we were going to. Maybe she wanted to find love and just another sort of piece of earth that wasn't connected to the rest of us.

[Alimony Tony]

You would find a merman.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah. Something I thought it was going to need to get exotic or wear the cement overshoes.

[Belinda Rogers]

No, that's kind of it for me. Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Love island or bust.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

Do you have to make a video to submit? I wouldn't say that.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yes, I do. You do have to make a video.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I don't want to interrupt, but if those are the Only two options. I do want to speak to you afterwards in case you want to buy the works plan, if that's something you're planning now to wait a second. Towards the bottom of the ocean.

[Belinda Rogers]

I want to be buried in a thong and nipple tassels and open casket. And anyone can take a. I want a big camera above and anyone takes a photo.

[Alimony Tony]

You want to be drowned by having Athena cases going to the bottom of the ocean. But then you do want.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's the cast.

[Alimony Tony]

An open casket funeral.

[Belinda Rogers]

To be clear, I don't know that I'm going to drown. I might get on Love island. So in that case I could die anyway.

[Alimony Tony]

Right? Right, Right.

[Belinda Rogers]

But yes, if I'm sort of waterlogged, blow up in the ocean, I still want to be in my little thong and my nipple tassels in the ca. My wish. Go to British and then live in a castle.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Go to British. Tony, you've been to British before.

[Alimony Tony]

I've been to British, I've been at a castle.

[Belinda Rogers]

Imagine I meet a prince on the house in the casa.

[Alimony Tony]

If you meet a prince of the house. I, I, I, I hope that happens. I hope that happens. I want that for you.

[Belinda Rogers]

Someday my prince will come. What's that from?

[Alimony Tony]

That is from, I think Sleeping Beauty, maybe. Snow White. Snow White.

[Belinda Rogers]

Awesome.

[Alimony Tony]

She is. Snow White is a domestic person who just sweeps as far as I know. And then a witch.

[Belinda Rogers]

Like a nurse.

[Alimony Tony]

A witch? No, nurses are healthcare practitioners. Do you know what that is?

[Belinda Rogers]

Practitioner?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Belinda Rogers]

No.

[Alimony Tony]

Someone who does a job. I.

[Belinda Rogers]

But here's the thing. I'm remembering what was so fun about being with you is I felt like I was learning so much and like none of it sticks.

[Alimony Tony]

Right.

[Belinda Rogers]

But it's so fun in the moment to be like, oh my God. That's what that word means.

[Alimony Tony]

It's amazing that someone who has vivid memories of being an infant doesn't seem to have object permanence.

[Belinda Rogers]

I don't know. Maybe the brain just stopped developing.

[Alimony Tony]

Maybe it did. Well, now wait, I. You said. Speaking of Love island, making the tape. You. You have the tape with you?

[Belinda Rogers]

I have it probably somewhere on my phone because that's where I took it.

[Alimony Tony]

Okay, let's take a look at it.

[Belinda Rogers]

Okay. Want me play?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, please.

[Belinda Rogers]

Hello, Bombshells. My name is Lizzie. Just kidding. I'm from, you guessed it, America. But I studying so hard, looking for absolute romance and the biggest kiss basically of my life. Hopefully with a prince. Maybe even more than one. And if I could get that, then I would be so happy. And if not, I literally have hired someone to kill me. So you should put me on the show. And I will try my hardest to be as beautiful as I can be and as awesome as possible. Please pick me. And also, I'm willing to do pretty much whatever, and I'm going to straighten my hair for it.

[Alimony Tony]

What?

[Jody Casarelli]

That is a dream. That right there is a dream.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

A to the energy.

[Alimony Tony]

Let me. Let me ask you. You say you're willing to do whatever. What are you implying?

[Belinda Rogers]

Basically, like any kind of drug crime or sex act.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Okay, Tony, I think when the options are get on the show or, you know, tie yourself to cement and sing to the bottom of the ocean. Well, either way, you are willing to do whatever for the first option.

[Alimony Tony]

True.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I mean, I don't see that as a surprise. The surprise was that she was willing to tie herself to cement and go to the bottom of the ocean if she didn't get on the show. But now that we know that I'm.

[Alimony Tony]

Unclear as to the purpose of this.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Interjection, you seem so. Okay, fine.

[Alimony Tony]

But it seemed like you seemed so.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Shocked that she was willing to do anything to get on the show when she had just told you it was the show or suicide.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, I wasn't. I mean, I don't think that I was shocked. I just asked her. What did that mean?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Okay, I mean, this is exactly what our marriage was like. I mean, it was so obvious to everyone else, was it not? Was it so clear what happened here?

[Alimony Tony]

Imagined that. I was shocked.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, wow. As he looked in his thesaurus because he just needed another I word.

[Alimony Tony]

I love my thesaurus.

[Belinda Rogers]

This is the kind of drama that just makes me laugh.

[Alimony Tony]

It just makes you laugh.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah, I'm laughing. You guys are so smart and so funny and have so much connection.

[Alimony Tony]

Chemistry it is. We undeniably still have chemistry.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I mean, this is how what used to lead to.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, yes, indeed. Going into the kitchen for an abuse. Boosh. All right, we have to bring in a final guest, and I'm so excited to have the whole gang here. Well, not the whole gag, but the whole gang for the show.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Couldn't fit 39 in one room.

[Alimony Tony]

I mean, that would be. Oh, if only you did. The only event you planned was not funerals, because what a party that would be.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I wish I could, but I'm strictly funerals now. If one of the wives died, right? Well, we could work something out.

[Alimony Tony]

You know, I only have one ex wife who died, and she died immediately after signing divorce papers. She walked outside, was hit by a bus, and no offense, Jodi and I never got to pay her alimony. She was the one that got away. Okay, what number was she? That was number 17 with a bus. All right, we're gonna bring in Final X wife for the episode. This is wife number seven. Lucky number seven. And so pleased to see her again. We have not seen each other quite some time. Please welcome Rhonda Roda. Rhonda. Hello, dear.

[Rhonda Rota]

Hi, Tony. It's so nice to see you.

[Alimony Tony]

It's so nice see you, Rhonda.

[Rhonda Rota]

How are you? Eating enough?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, I am. Yes, I am. I mean, three squares a day. Yes.

[Rhonda Rota]

I miss you.

[Alimony Tony]

I miss you too. Rhonda. It's so wonderful to see you. Let me take your cane.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, thank you. It's cold in here.

[Alimony Tony]

It is cold in here. I'm sorry.

[Rhonda Rota]

So cold.

[Alimony Tony]

I mean, it's. It's. I'm okay. But I understand that. That you would be a little chilly. Your skin is very papery thin.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yes, it is. It is.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Get a blanket or a heating pan.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, thank you, darling. You have such. She's really beautiful.

[Alimony Tony]

She's giving her a blanket and a heating pad.

[Rhonda Rota]

Look at that skin. That is all the skin I'm seeing. So much skin. Just young skin.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Thank you.

[Alimony Tony]

Now, Rhonda, I hope you don't mind by saying, but you are my oldest ex wife.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yes. I'm probably the one that's going to die soon, huh? You don't want to give me the work.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And we shall talk and we shall.

[Alimony Tony]

Don't say that. Don't say that.

[Belinda Rogers]

That.

[Rhonda Rota]

85 years young.

[Alimony Tony]

We. There was a quite an age disparity where we got married.

[Rhonda Rota]

I was 65 when you married me.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. And I was significantly younger than I am today.

[Rhonda Rota]

He doesn't want to say.

[Alimony Tony]

I don't want to say, but I am. I am a man of a certain age.

[Rhonda Rota]

Are you eating enough?

[Alimony Tony]

I am eating enough. Yes, I am. Too much sometimes.

[Rhonda Rota]

I don't think so. We gotta fatten you up.

[Alimony Tony]

I don't know. Come on. I have an abuse bouche every night.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, remember you and the amuse boosh?

[Alimony Tony]

You were the one who taught me amusement boosh.

[Rhonda Rota]

I did. I taught you all about old things.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. I didn't know. I just lived in a world of modern things, Betamax and so forth. And you told me about classy and classic things that I didn't know about.

[Rhonda Rota]

That's right. For those of you who don't know who are listening on this. What is it? A podcast.

[Alimony Tony]

Podcast.

[Rhonda Rota]

Podcast. Oh, look at me. I'M on a podcast. Oh, wow. This is a real. We met when I sang back up on one of your first parody songs.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right, yes.

[Rhonda Rota]

Parody of. Of amore. When divorce hits your eye like a big pizza pie. Alimony.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. I can't believe you still remember.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, I remember them all. Let's see. We did. We did. Michael McDonald's. What a fool believes.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yeah. Alimony to Tony always pays alimony. Oh, that was one of my favorites. That was a jam.

[Alimony Tony]

I remember somebody telling me Michael McDonald himself heard it and loved.

[Rhonda Rota]

Sounded a whole lot like it.

[Alimony Tony]

I tried, but that turned out to be a lie he'd never heard, of course.

[Rhonda Rota]

But the other Michael McDonald loved it.

[Alimony Tony]

The one from Mad TV? Yes, he did.

[Rhonda Rota]

He was a fan.

[Alimony Tony]

He loved. Or did Stuart love it up?

[Rhonda Rota]

Didn't like anything he did.

[Alimony Tony]

He was a mean little kid.

[Rhonda Rota]

That's one thing that Tony and I did. We sit down together at 11 o'clock.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh yes.

[Rhonda Rota]

Or 10.

[Alimony Tony]

Absolutely.

[Rhonda Rota]

And watch man.

[Alimony Tony]

Just checking in with our friends Bobby Lee. And.

[Rhonda Rota]

That'S what he means. Lesson. I introduced him to the class.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. Ike Barinholtz. Now, now, Rhonda, dear, how. How are you doing?

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, I may not look it, but I am. I'm thriving.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, you look like you're thriving.

[Rhonda Rota]

Hang on a second. I do have to take my pills.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh my God, that's quite. Now that's.

[Rhonda Rota]

I might want to cut to commercial.

[Alimony Tony]

Talk about those old peanut butter jars.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Close to 100.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, I love those. Oh my goodness.

[Jody Casarelli]

You heard.

[Rhonda Rota]

I heard someone talking about that. Oh, that got me so excited.

[Alimony Tony]

Rhonda, this is Jody.

[Rhonda Rota]

Hello.

[Jody Casarelli]

I've heard so much of you.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, no, of you.

[Jody Casarelli]

I have heard so much of you.

[Rhonda Rota]

So much of me. Well, I feel like you all my daughters really. I always did want a son. Which is why I think it maybe didn't work out with.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. Because I didn't want children at all.

[Rhonda Rota]

I was always taking his temperature and trying to get him to eat and reading them stories. Do you still have those pajamas I crocheted you?

[Alimony Tony]

I do. I've put them on a. I put them on a mannequin and it's sort of my. I have a room in my house that's a sort of a hall of divorce. And I have a little memento from each of my ex wives in there.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Anytime that's a clothing he doesn't want.

[Rhonda Rota]

To get rid of.

[Alimony Tony]

Why is it? What?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Anytime you have a piece of clothing you don't want get rid of. You put it on a mannequin.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. I hate waste things.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah. How many mannequins do you have now? Oh, got to be like 50 in there.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah. A little higher.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Really?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Jody Casarelli]

51.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Are you ordering them in bulk? Getting a discount?

[Alimony Tony]

I should. I should. Because the la. Because it is cheaper on the shipping. You sometimes can get free shipping if you order a dozen or more mannequins.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And are you sticking to the mail form or are you doing. Doing both.

[Alimony Tony]

I'm doing both.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's nice.

[Alimony Tony]

Doing both. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I'd love to see it sometimes.

[Alimony Tony]

Go buy anything.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I haven't been there in years.

[Alimony Tony]

Rogers, you're welcome to come by anytime. You wouldn't even recognize the place. Of course, I've moved back into that home. This is the home that brothers and I share together. New house for each wife. And I've kept them all. And when enough time has passed, I'll move back into the house. Rhoda. Rhonda. I've lived in the Hoesha together about five times now.

[Rhonda Rota]

You've lived there five times?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Rhonda Rota]

You're kidding.

[Alimony Tony]

I'm not kidding. And I have fond memories of you and the way you used to mother me. And I remember the. The big chair where you used to have me sit on your lap.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yes. We lived in a lighthouse.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Rhonda Rota]

And I'm surprised you've been there five different times. I suppose they just can't get in. I thought they would have turned it into a. Air. Air. What are they called? Airbnb B and B. That used to be bed and breakfast in my time. What does it stand for now?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Airbnb.

[Alimony Tony]

One of the bees is probably bedbugs from shots fired. But.

[Rhonda Rota]

Tony was always so quick. That's what I just loved about him. But I am doing fine. I will tell you. I am finally closing down the one woman show that for the last very many years, Tony has been the benefactor of all about our relationship and my other till Tony do us part. And I ran that for the longest time. They gave me a back corner of the Shakies. And I had such lovely fans for so long. But I think it's time to hang up the leotard, if you will.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. And you did the show in a leotard.

[Rhonda Rota]

I sure did.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. And you pitched, correct me if I'm wrong on this number. You played 17 different characters.

[Rhonda Rota]

I did. I played 17 different characters. I played myself. Of course.

[Alimony Tony]

Of course.

[Rhonda Rota]

I played Tony.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, of course.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yeah, yeah. Of course I can't do it anymore because I'm getting old.

[Belinda Rogers]

No, I'm shaking. That was crazy. That was uncanny. That was awesome.

[Alimony Tony]

It is like listening to a bear.

[Rhonda Rota]

And then I played. Well, I played people in my family and other people that I dated. And then, and then I do. And then I play. All the characters have Gone with the Wind.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Rhonda Rota]

That was just for fun.

[Alimony Tony]

I remember, you know, Ashley Wilkes bringing the house down. People not a dry eye in the shakies. And people were crying into their extremely thin pizzas. And I remember there's one little league team that was move, move to tears of hysterics.

[Rhonda Rota]

You know, some of our best shows were birthday parties for the five year old. They really got into it.

[Alimony Tony]

Absolutely.

[Rhonda Rota]

They really did.

[Alimony Tony]

Sometimes the kids would think they were at a Chuck E. Cheese.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

Because it was pizza. Then there was a show and then you. Because of course you would do the robot.

[Rhonda Rota]

There was a very old robotic person in the corner moving back and forth. And that was me.

[Alimony Tony]

The subtext of the show was so though the casino. The show was. It was a robot from the future that was recounting your life.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yes, that. It isn't that extraordinary. I came up with.

[Alimony Tony]

And you used to do it with silver paint. But then you had analogy to it.

[Rhonda Rota]

I used to do it with what? Oh, silver paint. Yes, that's right, silver paint. And I did have a bad allergic reaction to that and I was in hospital for a time and Tony came and visited me every day. That's right, he did. Brought me flowers, brought me my checks. And I do have to say, I take do love all of the backgrounds that you spend so much time choosing. Do you all remember when he did that? Mount Rushmore. And every month one of us would get on it. There were four, but there's so many of us. You'd hope and hope and hope. And I made it when I was in the hospital. That's when I got mine.

[Alimony Tony]

How can I not. That took a lot of legal wrangling because you. It's technically not allowed. First of all, Mount Rushmore is a protective. And secondly, to. To have a different picture on every check is. It's expensive.

[Rhonda Rota]

When you got away with it because you called it Mount Wifemore. Right?

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

I said no, no, you don't understand. This is about wife more clever. Thank you, Rogers.

[Rhonda Rota]

It was so clever. You always so clever. You still are clever.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, I hope so. I hope so. As I. As I enter a certain phase of my life, I hope I still have all my marbles as you do. Rhonda, you're still. You're still. Despite, you know, just the. The seeing the. The blue underneath your skin, you. You are still very, dare I say, spry.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Sharp.

[Alimony Tony]

Sharp as attack.

[Rhonda Rota]

Sharp.

[Alimony Tony]

Haven't missed a step.

[Rhonda Rota]

Please eat this. You are not eating enough.

[Alimony Tony]

I shouldn't need it on a microphone, but I will. I will take this for later. Thank you very much.

[Rhonda Rota]

It's peanut butter.

[Alimony Tony]

I know. That's right. What are those jaws that afterwards. And you, of course, cut the crust off. What's that?

[Jody Casarelli]

If I could have that.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah. For. For Mr. Doug Chris Dunk.

[Jody Casarelli]

Yep.

[Alimony Tony]

Is he staying at your home right now?

[Jody Casarelli]

I don't want to say.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

He's doing great.

[Jody Casarelli]

She said 10 out of 10.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Now, can I ask a question about your and Rhonda's relationship?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, please.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

The risk of overstepping, we're all curious. There was this mother, son, relationship, relationship going here. How was the sex?

[Alimony Tony]

Awkward and uncomfortable.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Frequent.

[Alimony Tony]

Too frequent. Fiance.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Interesting. So it went the other direction than I was expecting. Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

There was a lot of. I remember, and I hope this is not gentlemanly to disclose this, but there was a lot of. During the. The act, Rhonda saying, they're there.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, how we started. I would give him a bath right.

[Alimony Tony]

In the. In the kitchen sink.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, wow.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, because it's so precious.

[Alimony Tony]

But you know what? I did love the smell of that baby shampoo. It's. There's nothing like it. It's good. All that baby stuff, baby powder. It all smells good. Babies already smell good. Why do we need to give them good smelling things? Baby. Baby shampoo.

[Rhonda Rota]

My baby.

[Alimony Tony]

I. Yes, I. I would call you baby was a different connotation. And it took me a while to realize what you were calling me. Baby. What you meant.

[Rhonda Rota]

And I thought it worked really well. When we would have fights, I put him on a timeout. He sat on the stairs, and he just had some time to think about it. And then we moved on. It was. I thought it was wonderful. I gave him stickers when he did something nice.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's why you have all those stickers.

[Alimony Tony]

That's why I have all those stickers. She says when I send her an Al check, she sends me a sticker in. In. In response.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Isn't that lovely?

[Alimony Tony]

It really is.

[Rhonda Rota]

And I send him a little note that says, or have a good summer.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, she's still.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's lovely.

[Jody Casarelli]

That is romance. Oh, my God.

[Alimony Tony]

There was also a sort of a.

[Rhonda Rota]

High school classmate aspect, more like a teacher Student thing.

[Alimony Tony]

It was complicated. It was very complex.

[Rhonda Rota]

Probably in the end is best that it ended.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Belinda Rogers]

Can I just say, you are so stunning and I would love a crack at your makeup after. Well, this too.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, my. My makeup is lubrider. Funny. I want to give all I got on my skin.

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, great. Glisten. And I want to give you a smoky eye and Marilyn Monroe dot. And a red lip.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, I love that. And a witch was the last.

[Belinda Rogers]

What? A red lip.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, a red lip.

[Belinda Rogers]

Wet. Red.

[Rhonda Rota]

Wet red. I don't know what that means.

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, matte's dry. You don't want a matte lip. And it's out. Matte lip is dry.

[Rhonda Rota]

Wet. Know those terms. I really don't know you.

[Belinda Rogers]

A soaking wet.

[Rhonda Rota]

Looking back in the day, we would. Back in the day, we would just dig down on the farm to the dirt that was red and put that on our cheeks to try to find a mate.

[Belinda Rogers]

Clay.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yes, his name was Clay.

[Belinda Rogers]

That's.

[Rhonda Rota]

I love. He was before my one true love.

[Alimony Tony]

He was before.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Belinda Rogers]

Shots fire part two.

[Alimony Tony]

That's fair. That's fair. I mean, Clay was before my time. It didn't work out for you. It didn't work out for me. I mean, look, this is. We. Let's be realistic. We're all adults here.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Tony, do you have one true love out of the 39? The one that got away? The one that you wish you could do over?

[Alimony Tony]

I feel like I love you all equally. If I have one true love, it is paying alibody. I love it. I love it. I don't. Don't get me wrong. I never sabotage any of my relationships with you. I wanted them all to work out and. And I did the best I could with the tools I had at the time.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You've been broken up with every time. You've never broken.

[Alimony Tony]

That's correct. That's correct. I've never initiated a divorce.

[Rhonda Rota]

Is that.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Is that something that you wish you could do? Is that an aspiration of yours? Is that a dream of yours to change?

[Rhonda Rota]

Maybe that's the one thing you need to do to end it. Then you don't have to feel. If you just love alimony, you've got plenty to pay, honey.

[Alimony Tony]

It's true. But the more I get to pay, the more I enjoy it. But now. But look again. I want to. I want to reinforce. I am not sabotaging these relationships. I always think it's going to work out. It never does. I never instigate the divorce. But I am hopeful that one day it's going to work.

[Belinda Rogers]

Copy that.

[Rhonda Rota]

How quick is the turnaround time between marriages these days?

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, it depends. I mean, sometimes it's a couple weeks, sometimes it's a month.

[Rhonda Rota]

I don't think that's long enough. I think that's your problem. Do you want them to. So then wait a minute. I don't want to sabotage them, but you also love paying alimony. The more divorces you have, the happier you are. So how is this possible that you're not sabotaging it? Because don't you really not want to stay married? Do you ever want to stay married?

[Alimony Tony]

I do, with every fiber of my being. That's all I want is to settle down with someone, spend the rest of the years that I have on this earth making someone happy and then making me happy and creating a nice little home. Like a first 10 minutes of up.

[Belinda Rogers]

I've been meaning to check that out. Everybody says, that is such a funny movie.

[Alimony Tony]

It's hilarious.

[Belinda Rogers]

I love comedy. Like all the central roast type stuff. Freaking kills my ass. They all sit around that pit and basically make so many jokes about celebrities of modern culture. Like, that's freaking awesome.

[Alimony Tony]

I like it. I like. I mean, what's. What's really funny is that the. The people don't know the person that they're making fun of and they. It's just a random collection of people. Higher. That have nothing to do with that. The one person's life. And it's. It's all for us. It's. I feel like. I feel like it's. They're like Comedy Central is like that little boy from the open who is jumping out the window and he's saying, it's all for you. The little boy doesn't jump out the window. He.

[Rhonda Rota]

It was a young woman.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, A young woman. Yes. The nanny jumps out the window.

[Rhonda Rota]

That's right.

[Belinda Rogers]

Wow.

[Alimony Tony]

They should have known then, right? She said, damien, this is all for you. She kills herself out of nowhere. Then there was a dog. I mean, they. There were many. Many.

[Rhonda Rota]

Now, speaking of dogs, I was going to say to you, perhaps you should get a dog. Everything you just described, you can do with a dog.

[Alimony Tony]

I thought about it, but I. I don't. I don't get dogs. Do you know what I mean?

[Rhonda Rota]

Like, people confusing what's to get.

[Alimony Tony]

What do you do with them?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I mean, walk them, feed them, hug them, love them, love them.

[Alimony Tony]

Pass.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, even though you didn't like walking when we were married either, you hated walking.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, because we would always get into A fight.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Because all you did was. I wanted to go for walks. I wanted to enjoy the outdoors, the trees. You know, what we were looking at. I wanted to be in peace and quiet. Meditate, if you will. Walk walking meditations. I'm sure you're familiar with those sexual walking meditations. Yes, I wanted to do that. And all you wanted to do was talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

[Alimony Tony]

Right, because you insisted that I be there.

[Rhonda Rota]

No, but that is a good point. Now I'm thinking about how when we. It's almost anytime there was exercise involved.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Sex. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, everything.

[Rhonda Rota]

Yes, which also is exercise in its own way.

[Alimony Tony]

Talk. I enter it. I'm doing my steps. Sexual intercourse, 50 minutes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know, when he's cooking his frittatas. Talking.

[Alimony Tony]

You're not going to say you don't like my frittatas?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I love the frittata.

[Rhonda Rota]

The conversation before the journey to the frittata. That's exhausting.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, that's the whole point of the frittata, is the journey.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, don't include us in it. Just, you know, have us go do something else.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, now, I'd be in another room.

[Rhonda Rota]

Get over here.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I'm doing a frittata talk.

[Rhonda Rota]

I don't need to.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

There.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, I tell you one thing. I don't miss all those frittata talks.

[Alimony Tony]

It's for talk to and.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No, I refuse.

[Alimony Tony]

I wanted to include you in something that was very important to me. Now, look, I don't want to. I don't want to get into old. Litigate, relitigate, old arguments. I. This is. This is wonderful for me to have you all here together. And I. I like that you're getting to know each other. I guess I should always see it coming. That. Of course, every time I do the show. Every time I do the show, I forget that that is a potential thing that could happen. That the four of you would then talk about the problems with me. But it does happen. Every. Every single time. But I. I would. I guess I prefer that it didn't.

[Belinda Rogers]

I guess shouldn't marry such strong women.

[Rhonda Rota]

That's.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, guilty as charged. I mean, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I guess I wouldn't want it any other way. I guess I wouldn't want it any other way. You all have your. Your own strong personalities. You're your own people. And I think that's wonderful. And it's a shame that none of the people that you are liked the people that I was. But look, that's life.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's what all the people say now. Tony, you're single now.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, I am.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Would you like to tell the listeners what kind of woman you are looking for?

[Alimony Tony]

Well, I like brown hair, obviously.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Bunch of Burnett.

[Rhonda Rota]

You know, it's funny because I keep dying and only for you. I know I need to keep. I can't do it. I just don't want to do with gray hair. I know it's a big deal. It looks good on a 20 year old. You have a good 85.

[Alimony Tony]

You have a good texture though for your hair. You have a good texture. I think you could pull it off.

[Rhonda Rota]

You think?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. Oh, you're old enough to know Marion Hartley. You know, I saw her at a law and order she's still dying school together. Yeah. What do you. What come on area. But red haired people, they're very, they, they, they. I asked a redhead one time, one of my wife's redhead and I said, do you think having red hair makes you a little bit special? And she said yes. So it's true. They all, they all think it. They know that. They know that they're outliers.

[Rhonda Rota]

I think you would like to date another redhead. You just got a gleam in your eye when you started talking about.

[Alimony Tony]

I would, maybe I would just to mix things up. It's been a long time. I haven't, I haven't been married to a redhead. It since 1997.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Right away, score years.

[Alimony Tony]

The score years because we call them now. Yeah, maybe I, I. If she doesn't have to have red hair. But if she does, that's a bonus. But you know, I'm looking for somebody who's, who's, you know, strong willed but easygoing.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Strong, easy. Opinionated but amenable.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, exactly. Someone who is inflexible but likes to do whatever.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I'm here for the party. I don't care. But also I only want to do this.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right.

[Rhonda Rota]

Type A. But I'm a total mess.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, exactly.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Serve me anything to eat. But I only want the cheese.

[Alimony Tony]

Now what astrological side is that?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Would you say Gemini?

[Alimony Tony]

That's Gemini because of the two.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Two faced.

[Alimony Tony]

Two faced. Do you think Geminis are two faced people?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That is the symbol for Gemini. They're two personalities. So that, that's the person that can be like, I only want this, but also whatever, you know, that's kind of.

[Alimony Tony]

How is that allowed in a sign?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That's why no one likes Gemini.

[Alimony Tony]

I think a sign should just be this is your one characteristic. The end.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, no one likes Geminis. That's Why? You know, because they get to be.

[Alimony Tony]

Is that true? No one likes them.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Please.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, I didn't know it wasn't a please. I don't know if I'm sure that I know a Gemini at all.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Who do you not like in your life?

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, don't say me.

[Rhonda Rota]

My daughter.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, thank you.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

When was she born?

[Alimony Tony]

This is Madeline. And you. You two have never gotten along, from what I understand.

[Rhonda Rota]

Nope.

[Alimony Tony]

This is.

[Rhonda Rota]

Is that why? Because she's Gemini.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

She's Gemini.

[Alimony Tony]

And I. I. But also, I. I think the real reason is she's Clay's daughter. And when you see. When you look at her, you just see the relationship that you lost with Clay.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, Tony, I don't need you to be digging into my heart right now.

[Alimony Tony]

I don't. I don't that.

[Rhonda Rota]

I appreciate it.

[Alimony Tony]

I'm. I'm just hoping that that will. Will free you of some of the. Some of the disgust you feel for. For Meline. The sheer contempt.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, maybe I'll take a peanut butter jar over to her tomorrow.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, speaking of peanut butter jar, it's time. I'm going to bring it out here. We always. We love this segment. It's time for Peanut Butter Truth Talk, where everyone has. I have put a bunch of questions on slips of paper in this peanut butter jar, and I have rinsed it out. Sorry, Sorry, Doug.

[Jody Casarelli]

Lost your.

[Alimony Tony]

So who wants to go first?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, I can start.

[Alimony Tony]

All right. There we go. There's that type A that we're talking about.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

The boss.

[Alimony Tony]

The boss. Stop it.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

So I just take a piece of paper out of this jar and read the question.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. And then we all answer it.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, we all.

[Alimony Tony]

We go around and we all answer.

[Rhonda Rota]

So without you.

[Alimony Tony]

Not necessarily.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Oh, it's just a question about life.

[Alimony Tony]

These are questions that whenever I think of a question, I write on a slip of paper and then I put the job.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, that is news to me.

[Alimony Tony]

I started doing this three years ago.

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, okay.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Look at your handwriting. Still the same.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Who is your favorite baseball player? I feel like this was for me. Did you write this one for me?

[Alimony Tony]

I did not. I don't write. I. These questions are not written with anyone of mine. They just pop into my head.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, obviously Babe Ruth.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes. You love him.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I love him so much. Hate baseball. Love him so much.

[Alimony Tony]

Could not hate this boy. But you love Babe Ruth.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

The amount of memorabilia I have of Babe Ruth.

[Alimony Tony]

You just love looking at jerseys. Mashed potato of a face.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Tell you, if I could describe my main man, my dream man is Babe Ruth. Two words. Babe Ruth. That's it.

[Alimony Tony]

25 year old, looks like he's 70.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Maturity. It's shows that he's been through something, you know, experience. And that's a man who could handle being married to an event planner.

[Alimony Tony]

Absolutely.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

That plans funerals.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, Babe. If only he'd lived long enough for event planning to be a thing. And then he could have made that dream come true. All right, who wants to go next?

[Jody Casarelli]

For me, it's Sammy Sosa. Oh, Sammy Sosa for me. Oh, my God, I love a man with a sturdy trunk. And I just love the idea of him running so fast and no one's going to be able to stop him. Not even a brick wal.

[Alimony Tony]

Good choice, Jody. And Rhonda.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but a young Rhonda was taken out by a young babe a very, very long time ago on a summer's eve.

[Alimony Tony]

Now, you must have been very young at the time.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You know, I was not jealous that you were married to my ex husband. But this. This brought up a jealousy I've never felt in my life. Why? Didn't go any further than that date.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, I was young. You are right. I was six years old.

[Alimony Tony]

Maybe the police intervened.

[Rhonda Rota]

What it was is I just wandered into a bar and he gave me a candy. But I like to think of it as a date.

[Alimony Tony]

He was probably so drunk he saw you sitting on a stool and thought you were an adult. He thought you were tall, babe, thought you had weird legs so big.

[Rhonda Rota]

Called me honey. And I just thought, well, that's just it. That's all I need. I can die now. And then I didn't. And it's a. Still haven't. Here, I'm going to read this question.

[Alimony Tony]

Okay.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, honey. Now this one just says, why am I like this? When did you write that?

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, I probably wrote that this morning.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, what were you referring to?

[Alimony Tony]

I don't know. I'm telling you, these. These questions pop into my mind and my first thought, rather than answering the question, is to write it down and put it in the job.

[Rhonda Rota]

I think you should answer that one.

[Alimony Tony]

Okay. You want me to go first?

[Rhonda Rota]

Sure.

[Alimony Tony]

Why am I like this? I guess. I guess my. My parents had a wonderful marriage and so I've been chasing that dream. The dream of their marriage. They did get divorced, but they. They never let me see them fight. When they would fight, they would speak in Italian. In normal conversation.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Which father are you referring? Referring to? That your mother had this wonderful marriage to Antony. Okay. Because you have two fathers.

[Alimony Tony]

That's right. That's right. And they both lived in the house at the same time. And neither one of them would tell me which one was my biological father.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

And you didn't think it was Anthony, considering your name, Tony?

[Alimony Tony]

For the longest time, I did not consider it was Anthony. I thought it was Francisco. And then finally, on Francisco's deathbed, when I was eight years old, he said, said, I've left an envelope somewhere in the house that tells you who your real father is.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, my.

[Alimony Tony]

And then I found. In my college graduation, we had, we had a reception at the house.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Where was it hidden, the envelope?

[Alimony Tony]

It was behind a door that I, I never, I thought that's too obvious.

[Rhonda Rota]

You had never looked behind doors.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You had seen the envelope. You thought that's not.

[Alimony Tony]

I thought it'd be like in a lab or. Yes, exactly. I was looking for secret passages. I never thought. Just sitting there on the floor.

[Belinda Rogers]

Right.

[Rhonda Rota]

It's a marvel it wasn't thrown away. No.

[Alimony Tony]

He didn't even tape it or anything. Well, I think. I think he warned my mother. And Anthony.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

None of the housekeepers threw it away. Everyone left it.

[Alimony Tony]

None of the housekeepers. They must have been instructed. They must have been instructed. Yeah. So I think that, I think that I'm trying to. Trying to make, to make that come true for me to have that kind of relationship. But, But I also have never learned to speak it Italian. So maybe in some way I'm trying to communicate, but something to myself, maybe.

[Rhonda Rota]

You should date an Italian lady.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, no.

[Jody Casarelli]

Okay, I am gonna take that personally because I am both Italian and a Gemini.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, now I'm a tick. Of course I'm a.

[Rhonda Rota]

Hey, sorry, I'm gonna have to bleep.

[Jody Casarelli]

That barf me up a freaking river.

[Alimony Tony]

Hey, Tony. Tony. You may be making me do all the same editing now.

[Jody Casarelli]

Sorry.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, I, I, Because I'm Italian. I, I, it's just, it's disgusting to me, and I, I have no desire. I've noticed. It's like looking. I don't want to see something that represents me across the breakfast nook. You know what I mean?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

What's interesting, you never spoke you Italian. You don't know the language. When you used to get upset, you would kind of mumble in that sort of Italian as if you wanted to. You know what? I'm talking.

[Rhonda Rota]

No problem with what we're doing, right?

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, no, not at all.

[Rhonda Rota]

Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

I am Italian.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah. And he used to do it all. It's as if your body wanted you to speak. You would just Kind of yell.

[Alimony Tony]

It does. But I refuse my body that luxury. So tries to outwit me.

[Rhonda Rota]

Watching someone have to hold the Italian in is something else.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes. I've only. Sometimes I've only seen it twice in my life.

[Belinda Rogers]

Like volcano.

[Rhonda Rota]

You mean like a volcano movie?

[Alimony Tony]

Volcano?

[Belinda Rogers]

No, like a volcano. When you hold. When the volcano. Hold in the helds. In the volcano holding the hot.

[Rhonda Rota]

He definitely holds it like Vesuvius.

[Belinda Rogers]

Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, famous Italian.

[Rhonda Rota]

You know what that is, honey?

[Alimony Tony]

No.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Speak up for yourself.

[Rhonda Rota]

That's right.

[Belinda Rogers]

I don't know what that stuff.

[Alimony Tony]

All right. Would anyone else like to answer the question, why am I like this?

[Belinda Rogers]

No.

[Alimony Tony]

Fair enough.

[Belinda Rogers]

Can I pick one?

[Alimony Tony]

Well, yes. We have time for one more.

[Belinda Rogers]

Love pulling stuff out. Okay. Oh, one Love pulling stuff out.

[Alimony Tony]

If there's something in something else, you like the process of taking it out.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah. Like a snake in one of those little jars that comes out.

[Alimony Tony]

I remember you liked matchboxes a lot.

[Belinda Rogers]

I love matchbox.

[Alimony Tony]

You never lit the matches.

[Belinda Rogers]

No, I just love taking the match out. Hand me the match. You do the thing and then I smell it. Candle. Okay. The question is, what is your favorite target location? Oh, that is such a good question.

[Alimony Tony]

I guess I like the one. Oh, it's. What is it? It's.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's Sepulveda.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

The one on Sepulveda. The dollar section in the targeted Sepulveda. I damn near faint every time I walk and. Excuse me. You'll have to bleep that out as well. But I strongly about this.

[Alimony Tony]

Jody. Look, Jody.

[Jody Casarelli]

Sorry.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

When they made it a two story, I thought, whoa. But then when they added in that dollar section, they really took it to another level.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's interesting that they don't have a Starbucks in there.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

No.

[Alimony Tony]

But instead they don't need it. They.

[Belinda Rogers]

They don't need that crutch. I mean, I always felt like that.

[Alimony Tony]

But they have a space for where the Starbucks would be.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Just to say, hey, we could have done it. We don't need it.

[Alimony Tony]

With a little. Not.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Nope. Why would it?

[Alimony Tony]

Wild Flex.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I love it.

[Alimony Tony]

I love it.

[Belinda Rogers]

Starbucks space. Never worn.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yeah.

[Alimony Tony]

It's not a story. And how about yours?

[Belinda Rogers]

Mine?

[Alimony Tony]

Yes.

[Belinda Rogers]

My favorite Starbucks location has to be the one near my house.

[Alimony Tony]

Target here. Target.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Target.

[Rhonda Rota]

What did I say?

[Alimony Tony]

Favorite target Location.

[Belinda Rogers]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's on the piece of paper that you're holding.

[Belinda Rogers]

I just. I don't. I was getting so, so swept up. I love the target near my house also because I like to walk places and I actually fell asleep in this Target, a couple times. Everyone was really nice to me both times.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, that's very nice.

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah. So I love it there.

[Alimony Tony]

Where did you. Where did you fall asleep in the Target?

[Belinda Rogers]

Well, one time was in the clothes section when I was trying on all the stuff, because that takes a long time.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah.

[Belinda Rogers]

And I got all tangled up in a string bikini, and I just got really tired, and I fell asleep.

[Alimony Tony]

Do they have dressing rooms at Target?

[Rhonda Rota]

Yeah, they do realize they're terrible.

[Alimony Tony]

I thought it was just. You went in there, you grab something off the rack, and that was.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I think that's what most people do.

[Rhonda Rota]

It's bad. It's the most bad, actually.

[Belinda Rogers]

I love the dressing rooms at Target because there's not a lot of people monitoring, and so it's really easy to shoplift.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, don't say that on the microphone.

[Belinda Rogers]

Just kidding.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Have to bleep that out as well.

[Rhonda Rota]

No, I think that fixed it legally.

[Belinda Rogers]

Just kidding.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Ah.

[Alimony Tony]

Jody, favorite target.

[Jody Casarelli]

I would have to say West Lake.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh.

[Jody Casarelli]

One of the mini ones. I love not being able to get everything I need.

[Alimony Tony]

Yes, exactly.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's like a. It's almost like a CVS. Not even really target. It's so misleading.

[Alimony Tony]

Whatever. 1. The one thing that you're looking for, it's not in there. They're out if you need a bottle of 409. Not in there if you need a notebook. Nope. Out of luck.

[Belinda Rogers]

Poster board.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Sure. But not a notebook.

[Alimony Tony]

It's like they. They're reading your mind. They know what it is, and they hide it. That's amazing.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, Target comes to me in the form of a young man named Justin, and he delivers exactly what I need, and he always finds it. And he is working for his masters, and I'm so proud.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, that's fantastic.

[Rhonda Rota]

Have a little discussion every day. And I can't recommend that Target enough. He's not hard to look at either, I have to say. Oh, it's not like that. He's not my son.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

And now we come to Bronzers for Target. Did you say Target Location?

[Rhonda Rota]

She agreed with you on Sepulveda.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, you kicked it off with Sepulveda. I apologize.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

How could I not?

[Alimony Tony]

All right, well. And speaking of apologies, once again, I apologize to each and every one of you for not being the husband that I needed to be. And I want thank you for remaining on such cordial terms with me and for accepting my alimony checks even though none of you need them. You're all doing wonderfully well by yourselves, and I couldn't be. If I may if this is duper subjects, I couldn't be prouder of all of you. And I think it speaks somewhat highly of me that any one of you or my wife for even a little bit.

[Rhonda Rota]

Well, isn't that the sweetest thing? You know, we just want you to be happy, I think, right? What? Yeah, you've made us happy with the money.

[Alimony Tony]

I did not get a verbal confirmation. This is like being on the airplane. I need you to actually say you want me to be.

[Jody Casarelli]

Yes, Jody. Okay.

[Alimony Tony]

This is why I'll never marry another Italian. Well, thank you all for being here. Any. Anything you like to.

[Rhonda Rota]

I'm doing my farewell show after Shake. It's a final one, so if y'all want to come out, I can give you comps. I'm really going to try to paper the house.

[Alimony Tony]

I think people are going to come out for that. I mean, the farewell, the farewell show. People have to come out for that.

[Rhonda Rota]

Maybe I'll live stream it.

[Alimony Tony]

Oh, that's fun.

[Rhonda Rota]

Would that be fun? That's the thing, right?

[Belinda Rogers]

Yeah, sure.

[Rhonda Rota]

Okay. I understand. I'm with you. I say things. I'm not quite sure what I said, so we're peasing a pod.

[Belinda Rogers]

Gotta get you that Marilyn Monroe Dot. I swear to God for that show. Oh, I love that.

[Rhonda Rota]

Honey, if you could come and do my makeup.

[Belinda Rogers]

Hmu.

[Rhonda Rota]

That. Don't know what that means.

[Alimony Tony]

Just a ringing wet lip and. Okay, Lizzy, I would like to plug.

[Belinda Rogers]

Basically like I'm kind of just trying my best and I like to plug that. That I'm basically doing. And if I end up being on television, obviously you can check that out on TV or something like that. Basically, yeah. Plug myself. You can't plug yourself.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You can't.

[Belinda Rogers]

Who's gonna plug you?

[Alimony Tony]

That's right, Lizzie. Truer words were never spoken. All right, and we turn to Jody.

[Jody Casarelli]

Well, I just wanted to plug that. I'm not joking driving for the money anymore, but I would love to bring industry to your show and you gals too. I would love to drive the murder mystery industry. Oh, a crossover, you're saying? Oh, my God, girls. And I don't want to take your title away, but it seems like everyone here is a bit of a girl boss.

[Rhonda Rota]

Oh, well, I'm not sure she liked that, huh?

[Jody Casarelli]

I'm sorry about that. The leaks.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You can't just throw out that shout.

[Alimony Tony]

Spy putting up did not care for it.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

I didn't hear anyone else tell someone else to stop today. So. Not sure. Boss sets maybe.

[Alimony Tony]

All right. And best to Chris Doug Rogers. What Would you like to plug?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Well, I mean, I don't even need to plug my event planning business, obviously. It's doing so well.

[Alimony Tony]

Yeah, but where can people find you? If they have. If they have a loved one or even a hated one who's dead, where can they find you to throw the big farewell party?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Let's partay in the afterlife dot com.

[Belinda Rogers]

So awesome.

[Alimony Tony]

And parte with two A's. Right?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

It's actually E with an accent over it.

[Alimony Tony]

Accent au goo.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Yes.

[Alimony Tony]

Delay accent. Now, you can't call deletes. Joanie, come on.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Which I know when I first was naming my business you want, you strongly suggested the double A, but I just feel like the E with the accent is. It gives it more spice.

[Rhonda Rota]

It's classy.

[Alimony Tony]

I don't know which accent does what thing, but I do know how to remember the names, which is accent AGU ago and accent grave in the grave.

[Rhonda Rota]

No. Isn't that interesting, Tony, because you should know which accent is which, because accente goo is in fiance, which you've had more than your fair share.

[Alimony Tony]

That's so true. That's so true. True.

[Belinda Rogers]

And accent British goes like this.

[Alimony Tony]

Well, on that note, before we. Before we get under the covers and.

[Rhonda Rota]

Watch a movie together, my idea.

[Alimony Tony]

We're going to.

[Belinda Rogers]

We're watching Tangerine.

[Alimony Tony]

I just. We're watching Tangent Tangerine, which is not entirely on an iPhone. I've been meaning to see it. We're making a big, big bowl of truffle popcorn, and we're watch Ted read as a family. All right. I'd like to thank my engineer, Scott, for the. The work that he does on this podcast when I'm not around.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

He is exceptional, by the way.

[Alimony Tony]

He's. He's all right. He's all right. And. And, uh, the last thing, uh, for me to pl. Of course. Weirdo alamotony. On YouTube, I have over three dozen song parodies that I have spent. I've made videos for at great personal expense, and I would love to get the view count up to two on even one of them. So please do check those out. And speaking of song parodies, uh, I will, uh, close it out with this one. Hit it. Look out the calendar. Another month goes by I know it's time again and hope my pen's not dry I sit down at my desk and I get prepared My gaseous paper money simply must be shown Divorce agreements bind me But I can't say that I mind it's time to write some checks to my ex wives. All right, Salamony. Tony signing off. I probably should have mentioned that I'm independently wealthy from the invention of gaseous paper because it was the lyric of the song. But that's a tale for another time. Everyone stay married if you can. Thank you for listening to Alimony. Tony's Vallimoney Shoney Brogers was played by Mandel Mon. Joni Casarelli was played by Mary Sohn. Lizzie Giacuroni was played by Mitra Johari and Rhonda Richard Roto was played by Nicole Parker. Who am I, you ask?

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Sponsored by Novo Nordisk.

[Alimony Tony]

Hola.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Hey, you speak Spanish, but do you speak liver?

[Alimony Tony]

Okay.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

People with conditions like obesity, type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure could be at risk for a potentially life threatening liver disease called mash or metabolic dysfunction associated steatohepatitis.

[Alimony Tony]

Whoa. I could be at risk? I'll ask my doctor.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

You're bilingual?

[Alimony Tony]

No, I speak liver now. I'm trilingual.

[Lizzie Giacuroni]

Ask your doctor about your risk and if you should be screened for MASH. Learn [e-mail] I'm Katie Nolan and I have a new podcast called Casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports and entertainment where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports. So whether you're a die hard fan or just vaguely sports curious, Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the SiriusXM app, Pandora or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Give it a try. What's the worst that could happen?

[G]

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now boarding group A. Please have your boarding passes ready to scan. If your phone is cracked old or was chewed up by your Chihuahua travel companion, please refrain from holding up the line and instead simply go to Verizon and trade in any phone in any condition from one of their top brands. For the new Samsung Galaxy S25 plus with Galaxy AI on Unlimited ultimate and watch or tap. Also on now service plan required for Watch or Tap. Trade in and additional terms apply. See verizon.com for details.