Bonus Bang: Skanking Hayride (Bobby Moynihan, Seth Morris)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Bonus Bang: Skanking Hayride"

Guests: Bobby Moynihan, Seth Morris (as Ozzie Patinkin)
Host: Scott Aukerman
Date of Original Release: July 11, 2011 (rebroadcast: March 12, 2026)

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Overview of the Episode

This special "Bonus Bang" episode spotlights a classic Comedy Bang Bang installment from 2011, featuring SNL alum Bobby Moynihan and the character Ozzie Patinkin (Seth Morris) in a wild, freewheeling mix of genuine interview, surreal character work, and classic CBB games. The premise combines Moynihan’s real-life showbiz stories with Morris’s absurd “dogstivist” character, ultimately spiraling into a fictional canine-led apocalypse. The episode is further marked by musical remixes and recurring CBB segments, making it emblematic of the show’s blend of comedy, character play, and improvisation.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Bobby Moynihan on SNL and Comedy Roots

(03:08–15:19)

• SNL Journey: Scott and Bobby discuss Bobby’s "ascension" from featured player to full cast member.

  • Bobby describes the emotional moment of seeing his photo moved on the SNL cast wall:

    "I found out when I saw a nice chubby gray haired man putting my picture in a different place on the wall." (05:27, Moynihan)

  • The grueling audition process (14 months, several auditions, dealing with the writers’ strike).

    "For me, it was 14 months... auditioned six times a day for 13 years." (06:23–06:28, Moynihan, in deadpan exaggeration)

  • SNL audition tapes studied (“Will Ferrell’s is absolutely phenomenal, but Jimmy Fallon... does like 60 things in five minutes.” – 08:15)

• SNL "Family":

  • Reflection on the show’s camaraderie, referencing interactions with hosts and famous alumni, and noting the difference between past and present attitudes about cast departures:

    "It seems like it's a happy family. More so than in the days where you'd fire someone, they'd be bitter about it." (11:58, Aukerman)

• Nerdy Commitment:

  • Bobby admits to cataloguing SNL on VHS, visiting the Museum of Television and Radio, and being the 119th cast member (13:00).
  • A treasured memory: Getting to say "Live from New York..." for the first time—"the 666th episode" (13:35).

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2. “Hollywood Facts” – The Game

(15:19–20:35)

• The segment introduces Andy Samberg’s “Hollywood Facts” remix theme, performed here by the panel.
• Scott quizzes Bobby (with Ozzie’s color commentary) on bizarre "Hollywood Facts," which merge real and invented trivia:
  • True/false on Pink Floyd & Wizard of Oz synching (16:55).
  • Did Antonio Banderas base Puss in Boots on Zorro? (18:19).
  • Guttenberg in Police Academy 11? Satirical fact. (19:22)
• Notable moment:

  "Take out your dick, check out the facts, it’s the Hollywood Facts, bro." (16:06, Aukerman/Samberg via theme)

• Ozzie riffs: “I'm gonna buy the company, Netflix.” (19:52, Moynihan as Ozzie)

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3. Ozzie Patinkin: Dogstivist and Canine Society (Sketch/Character Segment)

(26:08–46:54)

• Character Introduction:

  • Seth Morris enters as Ozzie Patinkin, “owner and operator of the Bakery for Dogs at the Grove,” selling every conceivable baked good (and non-food dog items).
  • Dog activism rant: “My manifesto, my central belief is that dogs should be treated as people, and that in general, dogs are a little bit too big. We need smaller dogs.” (27:03, Ozzie)

• Dogstivism Turns Absurd:

  • Dreams of small dogs walking even smaller dogs on leashes; references the “singularity” applied to dogs (29:09).
  • Riffs on teaching dogs shame, selling dog costumes to let dogs dress as other dogs, and “dog presidents” (31:14–32:12).
  • Unfolds a conspiracy theory that 9/11 was to suppress “the United States Dog Option” file (36:39–37:35), only recently (comically) "discovered."
  • Discussion on “Dog Whistle Network,” a radio show audible only to canines, disrupting electronics (38:03).

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4. Canine Revolution & Apocalypse Nonsense

(46:54–56:16)

• Ozzie escalates:

  • Presents “dog machine guns” in a “reveal” (48:32).

    "Now, these are—be very careful—these are dog machine guns." (48:32, Ozzie)

  • Announces “Protocol Zero”: dogs will take over the world, with machine guns.
  • Silliness about how those holding machine guns will be recognized by dog soldiers as allies—though he’s unsure of his own system’s safety.

• Games and Apocalypse Banter:

  • Would You Rather: “Woof You Rather” edition, transforming into scenarios involving being a horse skanking like a rude boy, or a cabbage-patching leopard controlled by a dog magician (59:44–71:00).
  • Dimension-hop conceit: choices in the game swap participants’ “consciousnesses” into these surreal animal avatars.

• World-building Details:

  • “Dogpocalypse” has rendered the outside world a bloodbath (“The streets are running over with blood... with the blood of the dog oppressors.” – 58:24, Bobby/Ozzie).
  • Banter about limbless dogs, dog “singularity,” and canine justice.
  • “When you go around and you drive, what are the street signs written in?... Human words. Why? You don't think dogs would like to know where they go?” (35:05, Ozzie)
  • Quips about dog costumes and revenge against abusers (“Inject them with human growth hormone... just for like a rampage” – 45:25, Ozzie).

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5. Musical Moments and Signature CBB Bits

• Theme Song Remixes:

  • “Hollywood Facts” theme by Andy Samberg and Bobby Moynihan’s “remix” (20:23).
  • Reggie Watts CBB theme, as remixed by Weird Al.

• Song Parodies:

  • “Government Totally Sucks” singalong (24:38).
  • “I Kissed My Sister On the Lips” (40:44).
  • “Dogs Barking Jingle Bells” referenced (53:54), “Dry Sheets, Ice Cream, Jelly Beans” (57:12).
  • A “plane break” becomes a “bark break” to communicate with revolution dogs (55:19–56:13).

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6. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

SNL & Showbiz

• "I auditioned six times a day for 13 years."
  —Bobby Moynihan exaggerating his audition process (06:28)
• "My favorite new bit: Kenan has a character named Googie Renee, who always says it’s about savings, and so now a lot of the time, people go ‘Live from New York, it’s about savings.’"
  —Moynihan on SNL backstage bits (14:56)

Character Absurdity

• “I call myself a dogstivist... Dogs should be treated as people, and in general, dogs are a little bit too big. We need smaller dogs.”
  —Ozzie Patinkin (27:03)
• "I don't know if you know this, but dogs don't like me."
  —Ozzie revealing the ultimate irony (33:24)
• "Are you suggesting amputation for dogs? Just random mandatory amputation?"
  —Scott, playing along with escalating absurdity (43:02)

Apocalypse

• "I'm here to announce that I have mobilized a dog revolution..."
  —Ozzie’s (Morris's) escalation (48:39)
• "If you see a human with a dog gun, then they know that we are friendly."
  —Ozzie, outlining his uncertain safety system (50:54)
• “The streets are running over with blood... of the dog oppressors... and some innocents, too.”
  —Post-break, surreal “news” (58:24)
• “Dogpocalypse out there.”
  —Ozzie, summing up the fictitious situation (58:22)

Endgame Banter

• “I'm gonna be pulling people on a skanking hayride at the Apple Ranch. It's fun for all ages.”
  —Nestor Bloodvessel (73:07)
• “What is that next to you?”
  —Set up for the surprise red box cliffhanger (73:24)
• “Are you ready to face the consequences? Whatever it is, gonna die anyway. Yeah, because of the dogpocalypse.”
  —Scott, on the episode’s apocalyptic scenario (73:49)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–03:08 – Brief intro, episode context, and setup (skip: ads/promos)
• 03:08–15:19 – Bobby Moynihan in real-life interview, SNL anecdotes
• 15:19–20:35 – “Hollywood Facts” game (w/ theme song)
• 26:08–46:54 – Ozzie Patinkin’s entrance, dogstivism sketch & absurd world-building
• 46:54–56:16 – Dog revolution, machine guns, and apocalypse scenario
• 59:44–71:00 – “Woof You Rather” game (CBB games and character consciousness swap)
• 71:00–end – Plugs, family reunion improv, horse hats, surprise box cliffhanger

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Style and Tone

The episode is a quintessential Comedy Bang Bang blend:

• Loose, improvisational, meta-aware (constant riffing on podcast conceits and games)
• Absurd, deadpan, and surreal (especially Seth Morris’s Ozzie Patinkin)
• Warm, self-aware parody of late-night/comedian interviews
• Recurring bits and musical parodies provide both in-jokes for regulars and broad, accessible comedy for new listeners.

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For Listeners New and Old

This episode’s mix of real industry insights (Bobby’s SNL stories), meta-game segments, and off-the-wall character narrative (dog singularity, dog revolution) is emblematic of Comedy Bang Bang at its playful, unpredictable best. Both classic fans and newcomers will find all of the show’s hallmark strengths on display: looseness, recurring games, an affection for the absurd, and a gallery of oddball characters riffing, yes-and-ing, and building a world where the dogs just might win.

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Note: Segment times may be off by a few seconds/minutes due to skipped ad breaks and intros.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Bobby Moynihan]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Bobby Moynihan]

line free via monthly bill credits.

[Scott Aukerman]

Credit stop if you cancel any lines.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Qualifying credit required.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another Bonus Bang where we are re releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the Paywall. Now. This week's Bonus Bang is the second in a series that we are calling Just the Facts Ma', am where we are showcasing episodes featuring the Hollywood Facts theme as performed and written by Andy Samberg of of course of Digman, which is coming to Netflix I believe next week. Digman, the great animated series that he is the lead in. Now this episode is interesting because Andy is not in this episode, but the theme is this episode is called Skanking Hayride. It was originally released on July 11, 2011 as episode number 113 so long ago. Our first guest is comedy great and SNL alum who's in Hoppers right now, Bobby Moynihan. He's followed by Seth Morris playing Ozzie Patinkin. All right, interesting. So in addition to Hollywood Facts, we play Would you'd rather. Of course we play it every week. And this episode also features a Weird Al remix of the CBB theme song. All right, interesting. Now if you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents. Scott hasn't seen the neighborhood. Listen in become a [e-mail] we have all the past episodes from the CBB archives, every single live episode we've ever done ad free new episodes and even more original shows. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang. 2011 weird Al in the house. Yeah, 2011 or 2011, your preference. Really weird Yank. Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

What up hot dog?

[Scott Aukerman]

What up hot dog? Thank you very much. That is of course Reggie Watts Comedy Bang Bang theme weird al remix 2011 and it is a fine summer's day here at the show. Summertime. I know you guys are out there probably listening to this at the beach, probably surfing like you do with your ipods strapped to your surf belts, surf utility belts where you keep a knife for sharks and an ipod case and all your change that you need to go buy hot dogs at the convenience shack. But appreciate you listening. And it is summertime. I am of course hot sauceman, AKA the Navajo, and I'm having a great summer. Hope you are too. And I'm excited because we have a first time guest here on the show and I could not be happier about it. Alright, let's get to our first guest, our main major important star here. This is his first time on the program. I'm so happy that he could be on. We met about a few months back in New York, I believe, doing ascat.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was doing monologues as I am not an improviser and Bobby here was in the cast. Bobby Moynihan is here. Hello. Hello. Great character to start off with.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Old timey Bobby Moynihan.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not bad. Not a bad idea.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It's not bad at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are familiar with the regular time Bobby Moynihan.

[Bobby Moynihan]

He's alright.

[Scott Aukerman]

Old timey. Now we all know you from Saturday Night Live, which.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hope Saturday and then night. I mean, that doesn't even make sense.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Very confusing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, they should work on that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It's gonna get, by the way, talk

[Scott Aukerman]

right into that thing that we have

[Ozzie Patinkin]

right in front of you. I don't want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been on the show for nigh on three years now.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, three years. Just finished my first year as a cast member.

[Scott Aukerman]

Congratulations.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

How did that feel when they told you?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They didn't tell me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're just watching the show.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I found out when I saw a nice chubby gray haired man putting my picture in a different place on the wall. Like it moved from the featured player section to the.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that was right. As you were.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It was Saturday night right before the Amy Poehler episode and I may or may not have teared up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Aw, that's nice. Tell me about just getting on that show in a sense, because I mean, that's a dream show for most people in our field to get on. What was it like for you?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It was crazy. It was definitely one of those, like, childhood dreams. I used to, you know, dream about it as a kid, but then, you know, it's like. It's also like, going to space. Like, you don't think it's ever really gonna happen. But the process of. It was. The process of getting. It was insane. Very, very long process. Like a. For me, it was 14 months.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. And then auditioning every day.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I auditioned six times a day for 13 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's crazy. But, you know, you got to do what it takes. That's show business.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm still technically auditioning. I'm waiting to hear.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all are. Until death.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

And when you were a kid, you say you used to watch it. What was the cast like when you were a kid? What era do you really remember kind of watching. See that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It's. It's weird. I think I was a nerd. So, like, I was a big nerd about it. So it's like.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you're right.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

The entire, like, all of the casts, or, like, all of them, except, like, probably like that. The Eddie Murphy years. Like, I. I kind of just watched them all. I was. I. Like, I still have a wall of VHS tapes that I put them all on. Yeah, that was bad news.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. That's good. Every single episode, like, in order or

[Ozzie Patinkin]

for a couple years. Yeah. I have, like, probably a good six seasons. And then I would, like, go to the Museum of Television and Radio and go watch the original episodes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's crazy. So it's almost like you did a lot of homework to try to get. Or, you know, to get on the show. Was there anything that you used in your knowledge of the show in order to affect your audition?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, well, I mean, those. The best of DVDs. Like, I would watch the auditions on there. Jimmy Fallon's audition is like, Will Ferrell's is absolutely amazing, but Jimmy Fallon, I've never seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They're fascinating. Tracy Morgans is absolutely hilarious. He's in, like, a dirty white T shirt. He's very heavy. It's just hilarious. It looks like he came in off the street, but he's. You can so tell. Lorne was just like, that guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

But Jimmy Fallon's was kind of the one where, like, Will Ferrells is absolutely phenomenal, but Jimmy Fallon just. He does, like, 60 things in, like, five minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I remember thinking, like, I know they asked for Three characters and three impressions. But, like, I'm gonna just try and show, like, here's 60 things I could do on the. Whenever you need them.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you have, like, a deep bench of stuff that they could pull from.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to show them that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I feel like, the more range and, like, it's kind of like, here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, is that truck? What is that?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

What is that? It's a train.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a train. Okay. We don't have anything for a train, do we, Engineer Frank?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It rhymes with plane.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I wanted to bring a plane bagel

[Scott Aukerman]

in here so we could do a plane.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Just so that we. I could say plain bagel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plain, big. If we hear one, we'll do one. I promise you that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm waiting for it. Do you see how excited I got?

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. Your eyes lit up almost like you were being told you got on snl. So did you show them a whole bunch of things and extra things?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I auditioned. The first time I auditioned, I did three characters, three impressions, and then. And they were all very long and very, like, here. Here they are here. Very presentational. And then I went and met with Lorne a couple times, and then.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Lorne who?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Lorne Green.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? From Battlestar Galactica.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Well, on the original Police Squad. Yeah. And then the writers strike happened, so then I waited.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I remember picketing.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, it was awful. That was the worst nine months of my life, because I was just waiting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'd never thought about that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah. I met with Lauren before that, and I thought I was gonna start. And then it was nine months of waiting. And then when it was over, I was just like, oh, no, I didn't get it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you hear stories about previous seasons, like Franken and Davis were gonna take over the show or something, and then the writers strike happened, and when it came back, it just never happened. Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah. I think Maya Rudolph had a baby. And then they hired Casey Wilson, who's awesome, and a friend of mine, and I love her death. And then I came in a couple months later and auditioned again. And that time I was just like. I thought it was over already. Like, I was just like, my chance was up. So that time I just did, like, a whole. Like, I just did things that I thought were funny. Like, I didn't do that normal, you know, three character, three impression thing. Like, I just. I was like, I'll do Snagglepuss. Like, I'll do dumb, dumb stuff that makes me laugh. And I think that that worked out.

[Scott Aukerman]

So did you find that that Gave you a kind of a spark that your previous audition, maybe Lac. Were both auditions great.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I definitely think my first audition was like, okay. I feel like from Lorne's point of view, he was like, okay, he's not afraid. Like, he knows what he's. You know, he kind of knows what he's doing. And then the second one was like, oh, okay. He could do a bunch of stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, great.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I feel like if I had only done that first one, maybe not. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting. Well, you know, I mean, who. You don't really want to handicap. What if I did this? What if I did that? Cause you're on the show and you're.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, I'm just very happy. Don't air this.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we don't air this show. Don't worry about it. And you're coming back. Or do people not know on the summer? I know some people don't know during the summer. No,

[Ozzie Patinkin]

this is the first summer where I'm not completely terrified, but I still don't know yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Isn't that bizarre? You think they lock you in for that long of a time? But, I mean, I don't want you to cast aspersions on whether a situation is bizarre that you're benefiting from the audition.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It literally never stops. I saw for Tayrese, and Forte came back and his sketch got cut. And this is like, after nine years of being on the show and then leaving it, coming back, and it's like it never ends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And then for Parnell, he leaves, he gets fired, then he comes back.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I mean, it's such a. I was glad about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. He's so amazing. And what's really interesting about the show lately, I've found, is that people, even people who are fired from it, like, they're coming back and performing on it. It seems like it's a happy family. More so in the days where you'd fire someone, they'd be bitter about it. It seems like people kind of understand it a little more now.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I think so. I think, like, it's just. It is. It's definitely that family feeling, like, you know, I'd never met Chris Rock before, and then I saw him at a

[Scott Aukerman]

Jet game, and you pointed at engineer Frank. I'm not sure why.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Me and Frank were talking about it right before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That's not Chris Rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

Chris Rock, you see, is a black fellow. Oh, no.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I had no idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't see people that way.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

The story is completely relevant. No, I saw him at a Jet Game and he was just like, oh, hey, man. And it's just like, oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. Oh, the family.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It's very strange. You feel like you've gone through a war together.

[Scott Aukerman]

And when you think about it, very few people in the world have had the opportunity to do what you do.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I think I was the 119th cast member.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

[Scott Aukerman]

But that's great. I mean, you know Jon Hamm, friend of the show here? Yeah. He's. Well, he's on this Mad Men. Anyway.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

He's in Toy Story.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's in Toy Story. Yeah. He's only in Toy Story 3 playing Woody. I was saying to him, like, it's so crazy that. And Zach, too. It's like you've done something that even fewer people have gotten to host in a way, I think. Or maybe not. You're the historian.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

No, much more people have hosted.

[Scott Aukerman]

More people have hosted.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Probably around 700 somewhere. The first time I said Live from New York was the 666th episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. And what was that sketch?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It was me. It was me and Kristen as the Salahs, those White House party crasher people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, right.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Fred. Was Obama doing a speech, and we were just in the background taking pictures and doing crazy stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what kind of a thrill was that for you? Was it like, did you get the script and it set it in there and you went, oh, my God. I'm saying this.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I didn't know till the read through, because also when I first looked, we had no lines in it. Cause we're just in the background. So I was just like, oh, I have no lines in it. And it didn't occur to me to skip to the last page. I was like, oh, I just have to act. So I just read all the stage directions, and then it said, I still have the script. Like, the cue card, like, everything. Like, it was the greatest. You can hear me laugh. You can hear me, like, hysterically, maniacally laughing when the credits start.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Oh, man, that's amazing. It's crazy because there are cast members who never get to sit it.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

People who've been on the show for years and years who have never said it. Right.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, but you could say it around the house, right?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I don't. I feel like you're kind of like Macbeth. It is. It's kind of like the thing. Like, it's a lot of, like, people just do their bits.

[Bobby Moynihan]

What?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

My favorite new bit, Kenan, has a character named Googie Renee, who always says it's about savings and so now, a lot of the time, people go live from New York. It's about savings. That makes me very happy.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, it's great that you're on the show. You do some great characters. You're one of the breakout hits of the last few years. And congratulations to that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're far more successful than I will ever be. And I'm jealous.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You're on Taint Magazine, man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's true. All right, so we're going to play a little game right now, if you don't mind.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a little game that we like to call an engineer. Frank, are you ready for this? Here we go. You read Chris Rock. This is a little game we like to call Hollywood Facts.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nice.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, it's Hollywood facts and we're going

[Scott Aukerman]

downtown Going to Inglewood now everybody, do your facts and know your stars there's

[Bobby Moynihan]

glitz and glamour and lots of bars

[Scott Aukerman]

Get a drink at a club then go walk in front of Chinese Theater Hollywood Facts Take out your dick Check out the facts it's the Hollywood Facts, bro. That is the Hollywood Facts Theme song remix.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That's Randy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Randy Sandberg and bro.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So we know how we play this. So I'll tell you a Hollywood fact, a Hollywood myth, basically, and you tell me if it's true or false, if that is actually what happened or whatnot. Okay. What? Not. What? Not.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah. That's a creature.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. By the way, you're wearing a nice X Men blob T shirt. I have to say, I like to

[Ozzie Patinkin]

call myself the Blob. So I was really happy when I saw this T shirt.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a great T shirt.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Or blobby.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Blobby, here we go. First, Hollywood Fact. If you sync up Pink Floyd's Dark side of the Moon with the wizard of Oz, the movie, there are a lot of surprising correlations between the lyrics and the action on screen. Is that true or false?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That is true. Oh, God, I'm wrong. Aren't you?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's false. It is impossible to sync up that record with that particular movie.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Sorry. I was thinking of if you sync it up with the novelization.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That's maybe where that Hollywood fact and myth came from. Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm gonna go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe this should be fact or myth. Yeah, I don't know. We'll figure it out one of these days. This is only the second time we've done it. All right, here we go. Is this Hollywood fact or myth?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Humphrey Bogart's last words were I should have never have switched from Scotch to martinis.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Well, God, I hope that's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is false. No, I'm sorry. No. That is a myth. His last words were, I never should have switched from being alive to not being alive.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah. Do you know what his first words were?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

The monkey in shirt tales is based on me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Will be based on me.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

No, he created that. No one knew it. And then he lost it. Like in La Bamba. He threw it in the dumpster and Esai Morales found it Interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is not a Hollywood myth. All right, here we go. There's still time to come back. Fact or myth? Antonio Banderas is doing an impression of his character in the Mask of Zorro for his character of Puss in Boots.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Fact.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. So sorry. It is a myth. He's doing an impression of his cat, Puss in Boots. Oh, yeah. So sorry. All right, well, still time to steal here. Still time to steal. All right, here we go. Hollywood fact or myth? The line. It was Beauty killed the Beast. Is the last line of dialogue in the original King Kong. False. You are right. Yes. It was the last line of the alternate ending of Disney's Beauty and the Beast.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I was gonna say I thought it was shallow. Hell,

[Scott Aukerman]

when he kills Gwyneth Paltrow.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah. Y climbs up, she climbs Jason Alexander.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, you got one, so you're on the board, at least. I'm glad. All right, here we go. Last one. Steve Gutenberg. Steve Gutenberg. You familiar with his work?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

He's a policeman. Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

He died.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm gonna finish.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Me and Chris Rock are finishing the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Excuse me. Steve Guttenberg. Steve Guttenberg appeared in all 10 of the Police Academy sequels, including Police Academy 11. The one where Michael Winslow dies. Not Sergeant LaRavell, Motormouth Jones, but the real Michael Winslow actually dies. Fact. That is a fact. Yes, and with two points, you win. Is that a real thing? That is a real thing. Yes. It's a Hollywood fact, not a myth.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm gonna rent that tonight. Or buy it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, Netflix, at the very least.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

No, I'm gonna buy the company. Netflix.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not? You know, you got a lot of disposable income lying around. SNL money. That is, of course, how we play Hollywood Facts. Nice. Well, it's Hollywood Facts and we're going downtown. Going to Inglewood. Now you can lay something on the Facts and know your stars.

[Bobby Moynihan]

There's glitz and glamour and lots of

[Ozzie Patinkin]

bars at a club.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then go walk in front of Chinese

[Bobby Moynihan]

Michael Winslow, Hollywood Facts and Sweet Chuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Take out your D. Check out the Facts. It's the Hollywood Facts, bro. All right. That is of course the Bobby Moynihan remix of the Andy Samberg bro remix of the Hollywood Facts theme song.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I could listen to Andy do that forever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just freestyling off the top.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

He's the funniest dude in the world.

[Scott Aukerman]

His take out your dicks, his go to.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Well, most of his freestyles end up with him trying to either make out with me somehow or force himself on me. It always makes me very happy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I got him forced out of me quite a few times during that show. All right, let's go to a song back. We'll have a very special guest. This is Bobby Moynihan. Call me Bang Bang. I'll learn how to talk right after this.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

We'll see you in a few moments.

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh joy.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Another day, another buzz delayed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look on the bright side, you can finally catch up on podcasts.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You don't mind running late. What's your deal?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Only $25.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to Metro when we hop off. Get that more for your money feeling only a Metro by T Mobile. Just bring your number. $30 first month and $25 after with auto pay price guarantee. Exceptions apply. C Details. The government totally sucks you the government totally sucks. Ben Franklin was a rebel indeed.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

He liked to get naked while he

[Scott Aukerman]

smoked on the weed.

[Bobby Moynihan]

He was a genius.

[Scott Aukerman]

But if he was here today the government would fuck him up as righteous a.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Now let me tell you something about the government.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're fucking up the environment. They're taking all the beautiful animals. Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

And making them fucking extinct. I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

The government totally sucks you motherfucker. The government totally sucks. The government totally sucks.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Cause the land of love and freedom

[Scott Aukerman]

is just a baby's breath away.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

And if we hold hands together we

[Scott Aukerman]

can bring back the USA Bring back the USA.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Bring back the usa.

[Scott Aukerman]

The fucking usa.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Bring back the US Government totally sucks.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Comedy Bang Bang. We're here with Bobby Moynihan. Of course, Hot Saucerman.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

AKA did you say Hot Saucerman?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Bobby Moynihan]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What did I say?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You should. I think you should call yourself Hot Saucerman from now on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay? Okay, no problem.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Nate.

[Scott Aukerman]

We are here and we're about to have another guest and I am very excited. He was on this program. God, a long time ago.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Long time ago.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, no way.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he has returned. This is of course Ozzie Patinkin is back. No relation no relation to who?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Ozzy Smith. Mandy.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and we. Great police detective, actor, we remember you from the show. And people may not know you by name, but they do remember your specific occupation, which can you tell people a little bit about that?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm the owner and operator of the Bakery for Dogs at the Grove. It's a place where you can find every kind of baked good you could ever want to need for your dog, in addition to other things that dogs should never have, like dog briefcases, dog sunglasses, dog parachutes, dog skateboards, dog cell phones, etc. Etc. I mean, you know, we're making some real big strides in the. I call myself a dogstivist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you now?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm an activist for dogs, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I get. So you put dog in the word activist. Yeah, Stavist. Yeah. So last time we checked in with you, you had a whole bunch of treats that you baked. You told us about those.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, I've really. I moved beyond some of the. Some of the baking. I mean, we still. You will always be able to find really literally every kind of baked good your dog could ever want to need at Bakery for Dogs. But we.

[Scott Aukerman]

That a dog should not have.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, sure. I mean, yeah, yeah. But to me, it's still not enough. I mean, my manifesto, my central belief is that dogs should be treated as people and that in general, dogs a little bit too big. We need smaller dogs. You know, again, we're making some good strides on the coast. There's some tiny dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it seems like your business is in direct contradiction to that ethos though, because if you feed your dog treats, it gets bigger.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Especially baked goods.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, well, we do have some low carb options, but I'm not talking about size. You know, girth is one thing. I'm just talking about large size spines. I mean, if it can't fit into a Baby Bjorn, then I think it's too big. Yeah, I think it's too big.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, and why is that? You just.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I just think dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, there's not a lot of space in this world. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Correct, correct. And ultimately what I'm really going for is I'm working with scientists in the hope that one, one day dogs will have dogs for pets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hmm.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That is the most adorable thing I've ever heard.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Could you imagine seeing a little doggie

[Ozzie Patinkin]

walking on a wall and you say,

[Bobby Moynihan]

what is that string connected to his front part of his body? And it's a leash connected to a smaller dog.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Holy shit.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And the dog is walking a dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. That Would be.

[Bobby Moynihan]

This is the same thinking that got met on the moon.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

My heart just started.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mm.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Are you familiar with the theory of the singularity?

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe so, yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, for your listeners that aren't, there's a scientist, Right. Kurzweil, who believes that in the near future we will have a fusing of technology and humanity. Humans and machines will become indistinguishable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Talk about nanotechnology.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'll be able to transform your consciousness into. Yes, thank you. Small wonder. That's all that needs to be said. I was about to explain it, but that says it all.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Vicky Lawson, if.

[Bobby Moynihan]

What I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have tapes of that lining your walls?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yes. My house is made of VHS tape.

[Scott Aukerman]

If the police were to raid your house, what surprising things would they find?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They would find a lot of things. If they were to raise my house from Birch. That would be a whole nother story.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or what if they were just to raise it? Like, level it and then also be.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why would the police do something like that to you?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They don't like me. It's all Gutenberg's vault.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gutenberg.

[Bobby Moynihan]

So Ozzie Dogularity is what I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I'm sorry.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Humans and dogs become indistinguishable and we need more rights for dogs. Frankly, that's why I'm here. I'm sorry to be political. I know this is a. What is it called? Fun Fun Time Radio Fun Fun. What is your show called?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. Well, it's Comedy Bang Bang Fun.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay, well, that's. Yeah. This is not a joke, you know. It's 2011.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is not a joke. You're right.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And hey, I'm all for what happened in New York that. Wait, do you mean gays can marry?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, that one. Oh, I thought you were.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You were talking about something else.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah. Oh, you talking about my 911 conspiracy theories?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, I could go on and on.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I would really rather you.

[Bobby Moynihan]

We'll talk about that later. I got some off websites for you to check out. But anyway, in this day and age, it still disgusts me that dogs cannot get married. They're not recognized.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Who would they marry if.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Other dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

So not humans? No, because a lot of people think that gay marriage is gonna lead to people marrying dogs, and that would be disgusting. Fucking horses and not marrying them. Yeah, you know, like leaving horses.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I would marry a manatee if I was allowed to, just because it would.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, manatees.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Just for the pictures.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Mythical and wonderful.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They're adorable. They're like loaves of bread in the sea.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can still take pictures of yourself at a manatee.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I would love to get a picture of myself. And a tux and a manatee and a.

[Scott Aukerman]

What would the manatee be wearing?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

A bridal gown? Well, a veil. At least for tradition.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You gotta be careful. Cause those manatee bridal veils get caught in the propellers.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you sell those? Huh? Do you sell those?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I haven't branched out into aquatic animals yet though. But, you know, more clothes for animals. Anything you could put. You know, I just think that animals with clothes is not only adorable, but necessary.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You should make dog costumes for dogs so that they could dress up as other dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what everyone. You know, that's. You know, it's not like when we have Halloween costumes, we dress up as other humans. You know what I mean?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Like a slutty dog costume.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but anytime you put a costume on a dog, it's always to make him something else. Like a hot dog or a Frankenstein.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I mean, let that be.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I tried that. But, you know, we had a Spuds Mackenzie costume. We had a Bark Obama. Well, that's not another dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it sounds like it is. Bark Obama. I mean, we all know the human president, Barack Obama.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Right, Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, have you never heard of this guy? Bobby?

[Bobby Moynihan]

That's another thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Another black fella like Chris Rock.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Hey, great that we have a black president. Why not a dog president?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Exactly. Air buddy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure is Air bud still alive.

[Bobby Moynihan]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, what was that?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it's not. It. Sorry, man.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Was that one of those Transformers?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I believe that was Optimus prime passing by outside.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Could be, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think about those guys?

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know, that being. That stuff is ridiculous. I don't really have any strong opinions about it. It distracts me from my work.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is the point of clothes for dogs? Because they. They don't have shame, do they?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Excuse me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they have shame? Do dogs possess the shame that humans have?

[Bobby Moynihan]

The ability? Well, we're working on that. We're working on that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think that that is like nature or nurture? Could you teach dogs shame of their problems?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, absolutely, you can. It involves a lot of muzzle holding, eye contact, and very stern tone of voice.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, which you have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You possess that. Definitely.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a little frightened of you, honestly.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, you know, the funny thing is, I've devoted my life to this work. And I don't know if you know this, but dogs don't like me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Bobby Moynihan]

You'd think I have an affinity with them. That's not true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you like them?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Mm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. But they don't like you back.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Not at all.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Is it because you have a store that sells them things that they shouldn't have?

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know, I don't know if they know that right at first when they meet me.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just something they learn later. Yeah, but their general first impression of you is not.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I've been told. I've been told that there's something about my mannerism that go straight to the dog amygdala, which is the raging attack center of their brain. It stimulates that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, who's that? What is going on outside? Is Transformers 4 actually being shot outside?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That is a very racist transformer outside.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Are there any black transformer trucks?

[Scott Aukerman]

There were. There were in the first one, who

[Ozzie Patinkin]

was voiced by Eddie Winslow from the Family Matters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brother to Michael Winslow.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I died in Police Academy 11.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Eddie Winslow was his character. I don't know what the guy's real name was, but he was the brother on Family Matters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, so. So dogs don't like you, and. But that doesn't keep you from doing your work. That's kind of noble in a way.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Of course not. You know how Jewish people fought for civil rights?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

No.

[Bobby Moynihan]

In the. In the 50s and 60s.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hmm.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Sure. Gene Hackman did a thing about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Yeah. That's great.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Just in the same way, I will not rest until. Even if they, you know, they don't like me, that's okay. They don't understand. I will not stop until dogs are considered equal to human beings. I mean, think about it. When you go around and you drive, what are the street signs? What are they written in?

[Scott Aukerman]

Words, normally.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Human words.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Human words.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Human words. Why? You don't think dogs would like to know where they go? Well, that's fine.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is your suggestion then, to have a street sign that doesn't have any writing on it, that just barks, that has, like, a speaker? I got that in one. Yeah, well, that. Yeah, I mean, I can. I can see that.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I mean, it would be a little confusing because you would have to have big breeds, and small breeds have different languages. So you would have two simultaneous barks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Screaming out at you. And it needs to be really loud.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like you should go for

[Ozzie Patinkin]

dog cars before the dog street signs, like, because they got to learn how to drive. You got to make those tiny dogs.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Dogs drive.

[Scott Aukerman]

They do.

[Bobby Moynihan]

They do.

[Scott Aukerman]

They actually drive? Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Where it doesn't want. You just the same. I mean. Well, I guess we're talking about 911 now, but things that they don't want to know.

[Scott Aukerman]

What way does this relate to things

[Bobby Moynihan]

that they don't want you to know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's tamp that down. I've never seen a dog drive. You know, it was. It was interesting. I have a dog. We all know that, Rocky.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

We all know that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know Rocky.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Of course I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did he think of you?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Has he gotten my top hat? I keep sending him top hats.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought they were mine. I keep sending them back because they're too small. Oh, sorry about that. I'll try to. Try to put one on Rocky next time.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Dog haberdashery has been one of my passions since I was a child.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a separate passion than what you do as your. So. But we were talking about my dog today, about how it has a birth certificate and.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, good. Oh, good.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I was wondering why it doesn't

[Bobby Moynihan]

have a Social Security number again, 911 did not happen.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And if you go back there, the record. You know what the. In the world trades at Tower One, there was a file, it's called the United States Dog option.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They found that.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I thought. No, they did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they found it today. Like, earlier this morning. You did? Are you not on your phone kidding me? I'm not kidding you. They found it.

[Bobby Moynihan]

This is huge.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, it was right in front of Madame Tussauds.

[Bobby Moynihan]

This exposes. This is bigger than. This is bigger than the area 51 files being released.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

This lets us know without a doubt about the conspiracy against dogs. 911 was all to keep. It was all about the suppression of information regarding the government.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we know all this. We read the story about it. We're the ones telling you.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay. Yeah, we read it six minutes ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

They found it just six minutes ago. Yeah, it's a big story. Surprised that you. You haven't heard about it. I mean, it seems like you'd be jacked in, like you'd get alerts or something.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

We read it during the song.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's what we do is we peruse dog websites.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That's why it was the government total.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You guys are very informed. That's great. A lot of people are not, you know, are not hip to this. Do you listen to progressive radio? Is that how it. You know about this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Are you. Do you have a radio show, by the way?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I do not, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should, though.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You totally should.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, I would love to.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a great voice.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, I do have. I am on the dog whistle network.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Do you have a thing that only dog can hear?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's what I was talking about. Yeah. Oh, I read this in your bio.

[Bobby Moynihan]

So I was right. Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So a lot of people think that it's just a station between the stations.

[Bobby Moynihan]

What? Not true.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just. And they think it's just total silence, but it's actually just dog whistles.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Right, Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You can the best signal you'll see where there's a bunch of what seem like random car crashes. And that's because the decibels that I work in and will shut down the electronics of most automobiles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? I heard that there in the Beatles A day in the Life that there's a dog whistle in that. Can you confirm or deny that?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'd rather not talk about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Well, that means there is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Why don't we take a little break? When we come back, we're gonna talk more to Ozzy and he has something exciting he wants to tell us about. And we'll be right back with Bobby Moynihan. This is comedy Bang Bang. This is hashtag. And we'll be right back.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, joy.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Another day, another buzz delayed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look on the bright side, you can finally catch up on podcasts.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You don't mind running late. What's your deal?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Only $25.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to Metro when we hop off. Get that more for your money feeling only a Metro by T mobile. Just bring your number. $30 first month and $25 after with autopay price guarantee. Except site for details.

[Bobby Moynihan]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Bobby Moynihan]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Bobby Moynihan]

or nutrient levels, testing provides data that can help shape your wellness goals and track your progress over the course of the year.

[Scott Aukerman]

To get 15% off, select tests.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Visit ondemand.labcorp.com Podcasts use code podcast for 15% off. Go test yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why have I asked my electrician I found on Angie.com to bury my pet hamster nibbles in our yard for me? Because I was so moved by how carefully he buried my electrical wires, I knew I could trust him to bury my sweet Nibbles after his untimely end. Huh? Nibbles gone too soon. May he scurry in peace. Hey, sorry about your pet, but I just wire stuff. Nibbles would have loved you like a brother.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Connecting homeowners with skilled Pros for over 30 years, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust.

[Scott Aukerman]

Find pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Bobby Moynihan]

I think my sister's cute.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think my sister's cute. She's got a pretty good smile I dream about kissing her lips and mom says no, no, no but oops, I did it anyway. I kiss my sister on the lips I kiss, kiss, kiss my sis on the lips I kiss my sister on the lips I kiss, kiss, kiss my sis on the lips. Short song just started.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Are you enjoying that? Sorry, fellas, I was, I was. We had some of my dog macaroons that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That song could fit in a Baby Bjorn.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Then it's in.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, this is Comedy Bang Bang and we're here with Bobby Moynihan. Bobby, what do you. What do you think of this fellow? This Aussie fellow? You haven't met him before, right? I've.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I've only met him for a little while and I can honestly say I love him, I trust him. I think he's the greatest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want to, like, do you have any desire to.

[Bobby Moynihan]

That's what you'd be if you were doing terrier.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

He's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have any desire to invest in businesses?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Like, more than anything?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if Bobby became an investor, Ozzy, and he had a certain power over the company, what kind of changes Bobby would you like to make to his business if you had some, like some kind of majority stake in the business?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It may not be the popular opinion, but I'm a fan of dogs that don't have all their legs.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Wheeled dogs any.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Well, even non wheeled, I love seeing.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, you know what? I'm. A lot of us are familiar with dogs with wheels for legs in the back.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yes.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I am a pioneer of dogs with wheels for legs in the front.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Like a roadster, like a speedster.

[Bobby Moynihan]

They just push themselves along. It's hard because sometimes they try to propel themselves. Like when, you know, when the. When the wheels are in the back, they can pull themselves along.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Wheels in the front. It's a little bit. It's kind of like one of a. Like a slinky, I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They stop with their face. It may not be the popular opinion, but I think those dogs are wonderful. And there should be more of them.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I think that is the popular.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you suggesting amputation for dogs? Just random mandatory amputation.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm just saying, like, you know, people like, you know. You were saying you like cute small dogs. I'm just saying again, that's part of

[Bobby Moynihan]

the dogularity when dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anytime you see a dog walking around without one of its limbs, you automatically go, oh, I take it. Oh, you take it.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I will forcibly take it.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know what's even better than that? Dog with an eye patch.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And I'm not talking about a vanity eye patch. One that really needs it serviceable. Because you know, that dog's been through some shit.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

So, you know, it's down to earth

[Ozzie Patinkin]

if it takes that eye patch off. I don't want to see an eye.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no.

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's like that Scared Straight episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about like a glass eye? Like a Sammy Davis Jr type glass eye for dogs?

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know what? It's just it. It doesn't matter if it's a dog. Human glass eyes, it just. It just kind of fucked up looking at that person.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no, I agree. I agree. I'm totally on board with that. So what about something like a Logan's Run type situation where a dog hits. Let's see, Logan's run was 30, right. So a dog hits four and four and a third, maybe, and then it's

[Ozzie Patinkin]

in our years or theirs?

[Scott Aukerman]

In their. Well, no, in our years it's four and a third. In their years it would be about 30.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Right.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Prove it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. God damn it, you're right. Okay, well, anyway, I'm still gonna keep going. What's your question?

[Bobby Moynihan]

There's a forced elimination. Once again, they reach a certain.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, just a forced amputation where they go into a mill.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

And I'm thinking more of a Battle Royale situation where they all send them to an island and they get a duffel bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like that movie the Isle. Something I can't remember.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Battle Royale.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Isle.

[Bobby Moynihan]

The Isle.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

The Battle Royale.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it had Scarlett, Johanss.

[Bobby Moynihan]

The Isle.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, Battle Royale. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Battle Royale. Yeah. Like one of those movies.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Are you talking about Battle Royale?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, definitely. Of course. Yeah. We already agreed. What about something where dogs could take revenge upon people who have mistreated them? Do you have any kind of suggestion for that?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I would. Well, do I have a suggestion for that? Well, steroids have been shown to activate anger.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And stimulate focus. So I think if we could do that, we give dogs steroids, you know, it can probably propagate some of that. Because if there's one thing I hate, it's people mistreating dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, definitely. So you're suggesting inject them with human growth hormone, perhaps?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, a lot of it.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I mean, enough to get the job. I mean, just for like a rampage kind of a. You know, just. I would say like a seven and a half month period of anarchy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just like murder rage. Yeah, okay. That's a good idea. What other kind of ideas could we spitball about dogs? Bobby, you got anything, by the way,

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm into all of these.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, these are amazing. Something that can make them walk on their hind legs all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, that's. It's kind of true. Because right now they're taking up so much space. You know what I mean? If they were to walk on their hind legs, then we could have twice as many dogs.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, you know, a lot of people don't like this, but I say cutting off their front legs, you know, what other choice do you got?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's true.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I mean, unless you do want to wheel around. Otherwise you just. You adapt or take off all the legs, you got.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Like a snake dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a great idea. Snake dogs, they could burrow underneath the ground and create dog holes. And then our entire population would have, like, holes in the ground where dogs could, like, shimmy out of and bark at you. And it would be like a nice surprise. Like a jack in the box almost.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Would that be your dream?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I mean, it's one of my dreams. The thing is, like most people, I fantasized about just living in a cabin out in the woods, and the only source of warmth I had is limbless dogs.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

The big dog tube.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I would just look like I was sleeping in a pile of baby hamsters that have been radiated up to a larger size. Well, I mean, I don't.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm ready to invest.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I don't know this for a fact, but I'm guessing that that's how some Native Americans used to survive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that is.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I own a forest in Cleveland.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Tell you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, tell me about this place.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I bought it for $7.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

When I was in Schenectady, New York.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard of that place. Yeah. Yeah. It's right near Schenectady.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Right on the border. They're adjoining borders.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

And I bought someone's like, you want to buy this forest? And I said, you know, this is going to come in handy one day. And I feel like right now it did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you hear about those places, the farms for dogs where dogs get sent to. When they get too old. You know, the. Like, your dog gets too old, and then they get sent to a farm, like, upstate.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, I do know they found a small island. It's sort of near Australia. It's where bad dogs and old dogs go. And the dogs have mobilized and have started their own society. You know, they just left them out there thinking, like, oh, they.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's kind of like Australia, where they just said prisoners. Yeah, okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so bad dogs, they feed on the old dogs.

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's all kinds of fucked up stuff going on down there.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I mean, it's like Lord of the dogs out there.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lord of the what?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Thank you.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm sorry.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Like the book, Lord of the Dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lord of the Dogs. Oh, yeah, I read that.

[Bobby Moynihan]

By William Barkman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you told me coming in here, you had a surprise, surprising announcement.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You came in here with a big, huge box and that said surprise on it. But I don't know if it's an actual thing or if there's just the thoughts in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what exactly do you have to tell us, Ozzie?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay, I'm gonna show you guys something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Holy shit.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Now, these are. Be very careful. These are dog machine guns.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Oh, no.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm here to announce that I am. I have mobilized a dog revolution.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

The Raging Attack, the Steroid Raging Attack program has been initiated.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Okay.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Seven months of chaos.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Protocol Zion Protocols.

[Scott Aukerman]

What now?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Protocol Zero. I almost said the Protocols of Zion. That's not. That's a different thing that I'm really into.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's Laurence Fishburne.

[Bobby Moynihan]

No, that's the racist track.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's a. That's all about the Hebraic conspiracy.

[Scott Aukerman]

So Protocol Zero is what now?

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's. Dogs are taking over the Earth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

With Machine Gun. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that kind of. I just wanted to be able to.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah. Automatic. I mean, we do have some. We have a thing where you can put a rocket launcher on a wiener dog, and then a bigger dog will trigger it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is the rocket bigger than the wiener dog? I think that would be really cute.

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's very adorable.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't wait to see that.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And if you're. If you. You know, sometimes you can get a thing where they're walking behind a hedge, and it'll just look like. If you're on the right side of it, it'll just look like a floating missile.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Very slow missile.

[Scott Aukerman]

God, I would love to see that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Jaunty.

[Bobby Moynihan]

So I'm just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very short.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm giving you these guys. You guys, these guns. So that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Thank you.

[Bobby Moynihan]

They will know that you are friendly

[Scott Aukerman]

because they don't want to follow you.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I don't want to have one for the engineers. I'm afraid you're going to be murdered.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, Frank. Sorry, Chris, but you say you're mobilizing the army, but they don't like you. So are you suggesting that we lead the army or.

[Bobby Moynihan]

No, no, no. It's all underway. It's all underway. No, no, it's not. Right now. Yeah, right now there is. You can't hear it, but there is a signal. Calling all dogs to arms.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is it on that radio program that you host?

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's part of that network, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do we all listen to that station?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, because you can't hear it hours

[Ozzie Patinkin]

and hours on end.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man, that was a mistake.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

So dumb.

[Scott Aukerman]

So dumb.

[Bobby Moynihan]

So you may want to call your loved ones.

[Scott Aukerman]

No?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay. Yeah, because it is inevitable. And I just wanted to say we probably should not leave the studio.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'm good with that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

What if I'm staying here for the

[Scott Aukerman]

rest of my life?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, for at least seven and a half months.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Just the four of us.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what do we do with the guns now?

[Bobby Moynihan]

This. If we have to go out, it's to protect ourselves. And also they will see that that is the signal. If they see a human with a dog gun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, Right.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Then they know that we are friendly.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're friendly. Yeah. That's good.

[Bobby Moynihan]

But I don't know if I trust

[Scott Aukerman]

that even you seems. It seems like if you don't trust your own system, that's. That's a problem.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I won't say that it's not a problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

But I also won't say that it's a problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right. Well, what do you guys want to do while we're here for seven and a half months?

[Bobby Moynihan]

You should play a game.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I totally do. What do you got?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I just wanted to watch Roots.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, you've never.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have, as you know, I have videotapes lining the walls here.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I was gonna say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And I have all but the last 12 episodes of Roots, so I have the first one where they're in Africa. Great. Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I say we start with that, or.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm a fan of Roots, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was this game you were talking about, Ozzy? Because before we watch Roots, we may just want to watch Roots. But let's hear about the game.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay. It's called Two Truths and a Lie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I tell, I say three things. Two of them are true, one of them Is a lie, and you guys have to guess which one's the lie. Okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Bobby Moynihan]

My first dog was a border collie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'm not sure how to handicap that one. Let me hear the others before.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It sounds pretty false.

[Scott Aukerman]

My.

[Bobby Moynihan]

The first dog treat that I made was a snickerdoodle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Sorry. Snicker poodle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, that's funny.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Inconsistencies, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was gonna say it was a lie until I said snickers.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Snicker, boom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I get it.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And 911 happened the way that the government told us.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, wow.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

All right, back to that somehow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I would say the lie is the border collie one.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, I'm gonna say that, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah. Wrong. The lies that 911 was not. It did not go down the way that the government.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is your theory?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, I talked about it earlier, that there was a protocol. Protocol zero.

[Scott Aukerman]

But who did it, though? Who actually is it? A lot of people think Bush.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Wake up, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, shit. Am I asleep?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Cats. Cats did it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. What happened? What? Cats?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does Andrew Lloyd Webber know about this? He'd have an opinion at least.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I don't know. Didn't he have a stroke or something? I thought he had Bell's palsy. He had something weird with his face.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where Half his face was paralyzed. I don't think so. No, no, I think that's just his normal face. I think.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah, I thought something happened to him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, something did happen to him.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

His face exploded.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did it explode?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

This.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

This talking about Andrew Lloyd Webber or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or who are you thinking of?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Lloyd Lloyd Andrew?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I was thinking of Christopher Lloyd Webber.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he's great. I love him.

[Bobby Moynihan]

His face exploded. Roger Rabbit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, we're stuck here, so we may as well.

[Bobby Moynihan]

What other games do you have? I thought you always had fun games.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we'll have a game. Tell you what, why don't we play the last song that I ran out of songs? This is the last song I brought. But I guess we'll just have to play this on the show for the next seven hours.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Do you have the Dogs Barking Jingle Bells song?

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, I wish I had that one. Although, wouldn't that attract the dogs to the studio if we played that?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Well, we have the guns, so it's a 5050 chance we'll survive.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And believe me, they are so busy murdering humans right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you suggesting that we use these dog guns to murder other dogs or

[Ozzie Patinkin]

other humans to help the dogs?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm saying you got to do what you got to do to survive. I'm saying that if a dog sees you, I put a program into the. In the audio signal that if they see a human with one of these dog machine guns, they will recognize this person as a friend. I don't know if it worked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems like a strange system you set up here. I mean like at first you're absolutely strange system. I'm glad that you. You recognize that.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It makes me think you're not as crazy as I thought you were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, for a brief shining second, I thought you were a little crazy for

[Ozzie Patinkin]

one brief shining moment.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I get that in Camelot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alright, tell you what, why don't we go to a song. This is Laura and Sarah Silverman. And when we come back, we'll try to fill some more time. I guess we have seven and a half months to kill.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Seven months of chaos and anarchy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I hear a lot of trucks and transformers outside the window, but not a lot of dogs. I have to say. No plan. Wait a minute, hold on. Is that what I think it is?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I just pissed myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, here we go. Ozzy, I want you in on this.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I say we bark it. I say we bark it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's bark it. We'll do it in the dog's language so they understand and recognize us as friends. This is our plane break and. But we're gonna bark the lyrics. Normally we sing him. All right, here we go. This is what we do when we don't want people to hear the planes going over. We take a plane break. Yeah. All right. So are you going to say bark or are you going to say whoa? I might.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I might howl.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Oh, that was a good one.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think they heard us?

[Bobby Moynihan]

That was fun.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I feel like that helped our cause.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know, there's an open mic night for dog music.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, I guess it's probably too late. It was at the Pig and whistle. Ironic. I know, that's weird.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did a lot of the dogs get confused about that?

[Bobby Moynihan]

They thought they were gonna eat pigs and then they're like, oh, singer songwriters. No, thank you.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They both have corkscrew shaped penises though, so we're okay.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah, dogs don't have corkscrew shaped penis.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? What happened to your dog?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

He's. He just. He worked at a wine store.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

For most of his life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That's tough.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Cats have barbed penises.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That's true.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a tough job, but you know, work's work.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? And you know it's a recession.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You take what you can get. Yeah, until the seven months of anarchy and chaos.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Is your dog a sommelier? I'm sorry, a wine steward or. He just works. He's just a winner.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

He worked at a liquor store for 16 years.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Wow.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

16 dog years.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow, great.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

So it was only two days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Prove it.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. All right, well, tell you what. We'll go to a song, we'll come right back. This is Comedy Bang Bang. Dry sheets? Ice cream, jelly beans Three of my favorite things Dried cheese ice cream, jelly beans Three of my favorite things in my order of favorite things don't let me be my fit I hate this feeling Soaking When I'm gonna fight it to the end? It's driving me bizarre? Dry sheets, ice cream, jelly beans Three of my favorite things in my own favorite things. Excuse me. Sorry. Hi, it's Scott Aukerman. I'm back with Comedy Bang Bang. And we have Bobby Moynihan from SNL here and. Oh, thank you. The reviews are in. And we have Ozzy Patinkin, no relation from the Bakery for Dogs. And a lot of stuff going on. We peeked out the windows during that break.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. A lot of stuff going on.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Dogpocalypse out there.

[Bobby Moynihan]

The streets are running over with blood.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

With the blood of the dog oppressors.

[Scott Aukerman]

And some innocence, too.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah, there's probably a couple innocent. Sure. There's probably a couple innocent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, we don't have to tell the listeners. I mean, they've gone through it already at this point.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I don't know if this is live. Yeah, this is probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're probably doing this for nothing. Podcasts don't exist, but dogcasts might.

[Bobby Moynihan]

They might. I mean, if anything, there's just a bunch of dogs with dried blood all over their muzzles and some general hats.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Love when you say muzzles so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So cute when you say such a picture.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, you know, since we're doing this for ourselves, let's just entertain ourselves, you know?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I mean, if you're out there and you're listening, bring food.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah, right.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Leave it outside. You can't come in because Bobby ate

[Scott Aukerman]

all of our food during that last.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Almost immediately. I apologize. I wasn't even hungry.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a lot of food, too.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Panic, hunger.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

No gag reflex.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

He just ate. He just ate like five barrels of survival rice.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, I had a 50 piece chicken nugget.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

And a barrel of rice.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah, you just let the rice cook in your stomach? Is that the idea?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Well, I'm gonna. Yeah, I'll probably just. I'm gonna go tanning later and see what happens.

[Scott Aukerman]

You might expand, you know, when that rice.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That's what I'm hoping.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Good. All right, so it's time to play a little game and this will pass the time, right? A little game called would you'd rather

[Bobby Moynihan]

woof you rather not bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Woof you rather here.

[Bobby Moynihan]

This needs to be longer, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, it's time to play Woofy rather.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

This is Andrew Lloyd Weber.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course. And Jeremy Piven. We all know how this is played. People send me woofy rather scenarios at cbbyr where the W stands for woof. And I'll read them to you and then I'll open. Open up the floor for questions and then we'll figure it out. We'll fucking hash this shit out. All right. Jake Python on Twitter, Robert Piquette. He asks, woof you rather skank instead of walk or cabbage patch? Whenever you talk to someone wealthier than you, would you rather skank instead of walk?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Which one? Skank.

[Scott Aukerman]

Skank is the ska kind of crossing your legs and like sort of jogging in place.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I thought it was just like, just keep. Just blow anything by skank or cabbage patch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you guys have questions?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Do you have to.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Do you have to. Do you dress like a rude boy all the time to. To get around?

[Scott Aukerman]

In which scenario?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Skank. Skank. So you can do the.

[Scott Aukerman]

In the. In the skanking scenario? Yeah, yeah. You have a pork pie hat. You have a three piece suit, high water trousers and two tone shoes and checkered socks.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm ready to answer

[Scott Aukerman]

that. Narrowed it down for you. But I will say that you do not get this outfit for free. It takes up all your money. You're kind of a clothes horse.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

A lothario.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Actually you are a horse too in that scenario.

[Bobby Moynihan]

No, you're a horse who.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, you're a horse who dresses like a rude boy.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I would not do that. Well, don't vote yet if it's got a Not. Not. No, not if it's a horse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, don't vote yet because you don't know about the other scenario.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah. Okay. What is the other scenario?

[Scott Aukerman]

The other you, cabbage patch. Whenever you talk to someone wealthier than you and you're a leopard. A leopard? Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You're a leper.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a leopard, but you're also a leper. Yes.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You smell like baby powder like most cabbage patch kids do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, of course. And Most lepers do.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

A lot of lepers smell like Spam. Cause they're in Hawaii. That one weird island.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Spam Island. Right.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know what I'm talking about, though? Is it called leper calling?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Spam and pineapple. All right, so anything about either of these scenarios? In one, you're skank. You're a horse who dresses like a rude boy who skanks instead of trotting, I guess, is what it should say. In the other scenario, you are a leopard who is also a leper who smells like baby powder. And you, Cabbage patch, whenever you talk to someone wealthier than you, human or leopard, by the way. Anyone who's got one, there's a leopard

[Bobby Moynihan]

that's a more wealthy leopard than you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, got it.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Any other questions about either of these scenarios?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Do you have to own any of the music at all?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like the publishing rights, you mean? Yeah, yeah, definitely. You like a real British or a. Yeah. You always on the publishing.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Let's go bowling.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Mephascophaly.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Sking Crab.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Jiker. Yeah. Lots of old bands. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyone else?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Scofflaws?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Scott. Scott Poo Poo.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyone else?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Peter Scar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scar,

[Bobby Moynihan]

go on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You own the public. You're in the pub.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Go on.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

The Chupa Scar Brim.

[Scott Aukerman]

You own the pub to all those bands? Yeah, yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I own all the rights to most of those already. Very, very large musical library.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You're always a leopard, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You change only when you interact with wealthy people.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. You are able to ascend into different life forms, higher life forms, as you do good deeds.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Now, how do you know the person is wealthier than you? Just from their top hat and Monaco, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your cabbage Pat. By the way. You're cabbage patching.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yes.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

So it's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's automatic.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It's in. It's your. It's known.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's in the medulla oblongata.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

See, that's a plus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Because then you always know how much money people have.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah. Which is the only thing that matters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You only have $1 in your bank account, though, so most of the times.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

But I have 4 million bank accounts.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is a great. Yes, of course. You have 4 million bank accounts. So you have $4 million. Yes. A lot of people.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah. I don't. I will. I refuse to go paperless.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I like that tactile experience.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Me too.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know, I just feel more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's very satisfying to check.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You have very dry fingers, by the way. Like you just like. They're just weathered with paper cuts.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, no, there's a dog bites. Oh, yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

What are you thinking right now?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Well, I'm always thinking about dogs, but in this scenario, I'm leaning towards the leopard, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're leaning towards the leopard. What about the magician who controls you in that scenario, though?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, shit.

[Bobby Moynihan]

There's a magician that controls me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You see? You haven't asked about him.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Wait, I'm supposed to just ask every possible scenario?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you think you're doing the cabbage patch?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I'm doing the cabbage patch because it has something to do with the economics of this world, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

But that's because of the magician who's just.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Because it made me Ali Greenspan. Is he the magician?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course it's him. And he doesn't like you in the least, so he makes you do embarrassing things like the cabbage patch. That's just the tip of the iceberg.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay, well, then I would have to reconsider. Am I a horse in the other one or just wearing a horse costume?

[Scott Aukerman]

Great question. You're a horse wearing a horse costume.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

See, you need to open up that. I might open up that business. Well, no one's gonna be alive to.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah, I mean, really, all this is moot because.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, because we're all gonna.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. Whatever you choose, you transport your consciousness into that scenario. Yeah. Have you never played this game before, guys? No. There are alternate dimensions all around ourselves. Every time we play this, you swap consciousnesses with whoever's in that alternate dimension.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Ozzy and I had the travel version that we played.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Right.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

We had never played it here. The home version.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, That's. So whatever you choose, you're stuck with it. So choose wisely, my friend. Okay.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Okay. Do you want to go at the same time?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Are there any other magician type scenarios? Who's control. Is there anything controlling the magician?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, definitely.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay. I feel like you should have said that.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a dog controlling the magician.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, then I'd want to do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't vote. Don't vote yet. Don't vote yet. But guess what? It's a dog magician.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you feel about that?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I love it. Sleight of paw. I love that kind of stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, any other questions before we open it up?

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's David Doggerfield.

[Scott Aukerman]

It may be. It may be. You're right. It may be. I don't know, but it may be.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They always make cats disappear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Sounds like a conspiracy, isn't it?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I Do I have another question?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Can I vote now?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I'm closing the floor for questions. Here we go. All right, first, I'm gonna go to Bobby. Bobby, would you rather be the horse wearing a horse costume that skanks instead of walking, wears a rude boy outfit which. Which uses all of its money? Or what is that? Just a truck.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Just a sh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Truck. Or would you rather Bumblebee. A bumblebee. We should have a song for a bumblebee. Or would you rather be the leopard who's constantly transforming, who's the familiar to the magician that controls you, controlled by the dog magician who's performing sleight of paw, cabbage patches. $4 million in 4 million bank accounts. How do you like to vote?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm going cabbage patch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why is that, sir?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I like to smell like baby powder. Because I'm. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a large baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a large baby yourself. Wow. I didn't know that about you.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

How old are you right now? Yeah, six.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't know what?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Old.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't know that about you, little baby.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm a tiny little bitch baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

I swear that I've seen you on that program, though, for, like, the past three years.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

That's not me.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Who are you right now? Yeah. The large baby.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Is this one of those dimensional things?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, I forgot. Okay, so you've just voted, so your consciousness I'm going to attach.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're the baby now I see. Your consciousness was swapped, and now you're a baby. Okay, here we go. Okay, Ozzy, how do you like to vote?

[Bobby Moynihan]

I have thought about this long and hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm sweating.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah. I am going to go with. This is a surprise, even to me, with the horse scenario.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. Because the minute I said horse, you came out against it. You were ready to vote right then.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I love the way that rude boys dress.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I think it's really cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And. And frankly, I'm a fan of the music. I like the theatrics. I mean, the steady beat is one thing, but I love they all, you

[Scott Aukerman]

know, the rocksteady beat.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, horns and they fun. There's costumes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they.

[Bobby Moynihan]

They'll do skits on stage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, a lot of those hip hop guys, they never do the skits on stage.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

No, they really should.

[Bobby Moynihan]

They should do like a. Like a Mr. Roboto kind of of rock opera type of thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. You know where they're doing the skits and they murder people and they.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I think Biggie would still be around if he had actually had sex with that girl on stage and then threw her off the bed.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Of course.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Which is a sketch from the Biggie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So purely out of a love for the music and the theatrics, you're voting for the.

[Bobby Moynihan]

And the clothes. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I have the results. And thankfully you switched at the last minute because yes, that is the correct answer. You are the winner.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh, I didn't even know there was a winner.

[Scott Aukerman]

There is a winner. Yeah, there's a winner to. Would you rather there is? And now it's time to transform your consciousness into that scenario. And here we go. This feels weird. Excuse me, who are you, sir? Sir? Huh?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi, I'm Scott Aukerman. This is Bobby Moyni. Or this is the baby. Who are you, sir? Who are we talking to now?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Oh my God. My name is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you not know your name? I'm sorry, I know it takes a little time for you to acclimate.

[Bobby Moynihan]

My name is Nestor Bloodvessel Nester. You know, Buster Bloodvessel?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, from the bad manners?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Uh huh.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm his son.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh my God. Yeah, that's my son. I'm Buster.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Buster.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Yeah, I brought my son here to go let him go without.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Hey dad, remember that one time we caught bullfrog? That was the greatest day of my life.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I love you, son.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love you too. Oh my gosh. What a touching family reunion right here on the show.

[Bobby Moynihan]

You know what's cool, dad? When we see a rich person, we

[Ozzie Patinkin]

don't have to do anything different. I kinda didn't understand what you were saying, but I love you nonetheless.

[Bobby Moynihan]

No, I'm just saying I have some

[Scott Aukerman]

friends that are leopards and whenever they

[Bobby Moynihan]

see somebody richer than them, they have to do the stupid dance.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Poor them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well guys, it's a pleasure to have you both on. What happened to the baby?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Meh.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's still here. Okay, good. Well, that's of course how you play. Would you'd rather. Let's hear a truncated version of the theme song. There we go. All right, here we go. We just have one thing left for Bluster Bloodvessel and Nestor Bloodvessel and the large baby to partake in. That is of course, the what's up hot dog memorial. Plugs. Yo. Not a man comedy fang. I don't need all this. They already know what they're listening to, right?

[Bobby Moynihan]

This is Plugs. Guess we really hate to see you Go. Before you leave, please tell us about

[Scott Aukerman]

your TV show or the stand up you're doing in a week or so. Maybe you movie. You're a charity. We need to know Plugs. Yeah, that is by Jason Lords. That was a good one. Enjoyed that. All right, big baby. What do you have to plug?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm gonna be crying later.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. Nester blood vessel.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Don't be scared. You got this, kid.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Thank you. I just get nervous.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Don't get nervous. You're the best.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Can I have some more oats?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Of course.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Be careful.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

This is a new feed bag. We just got here.

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's made of leather.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I'm gonna be pulling people on a skanking hayride at the Apple Ranch.

[Bobby Moynihan]

It's fun for all ages.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Not all ages.

[Scott Aukerman]

And around sunset. Wait, which ages are not. They're gonna put on a horse hat.

[Bobby Moynihan]

One of those straw horse hats with my ears poke out the top.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

It is adorable.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Also.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also, yeah, we're hanging out here everywhere.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Sometimes he chokes on some oats.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sorry.

[Bobby Moynihan]

My man Scott belong Cassidy. He's gonna be playing down in New Georgia.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

They are amazing.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Number one fan right there.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I own the rights to all of his music, so it's good for me too.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's great.

[Bobby Moynihan]

I have a question before we go. What is that next to you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that red box with the light on top of it. Oh, yeah. That's a surprise for all of you. I was gonna open it at the very end of.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Can we open it now?

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, the show's just about over. I mean, we haven't. Okay, guys, well, let's open this up. I mean, it's time, right? All right, you ready?

[Bobby Moynihan]

Let's do this.

[Scott Aukerman]

It could be a good surprise, it could be a bad surprise.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you ready to face the consequences? Whatever it is, gonna die anyway. Yeah. Because of the dog pocalypse happening right now. All right. The red lights blinking and when it blinks very, very fast, that's when I open it up. Okay. Okay. It started to blink very, very fast.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

I love you, dad. I love you too, son.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's all hold hands because we don't know. We don't know what's happening. All right, here we go. And I'm opening it up.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Oh, joy.

[Bobby Moynihan]

Another day, another buzz delayed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look on the bright side. You can finally catch up on podcasts.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

You don't mind running late. What's your deal?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's my deal? I saved at Metro with no activation fees. I got one line of 5G for just $25 a month. Kept the phone I love and a 5 year price guarantee for my talk text and data.

[Ozzie Patinkin]

Only $25.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to metro when we hop off get that more for your money feeling only a Metro by T mobile. Just bring your number $30 first month and $25 after with auto pay price guarantee exceptions apply. See site for details.

[Bobby Moynihan]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Bobby Moynihan]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Bobby Moynihan]

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[Scott Aukerman]

To get 15% off select tests, visit

[Bobby Moynihan]

ondemand.labcorp.com podcast use code podcast for 15%

[Scott Aukerman]

off go test yourself why have I asked my electrician I found on Angie.com to bury my pet hamster? I was so moved by how carefully he buried my electrical wires. I knew I could trust him to bury my sweet nibbles after his untimely end. This is very strange. Angie, the one you trust to find

[Ozzie Patinkin]

the ones you trust.

[Scott Aukerman]

Find pros for all your home projects at Angie Combination.