Bonus Bang: The PeeE Neurs (Langston Kerman, Ego Nwodim, Carl Tart, Paul F. Tompkins)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Bonus Bang: The PeeE Neurs"

Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Langston Kerman, Ego Nwodim, Carl Tart, Paul F. Tompkins
Release Date: November 6, 2025
Episode Theme: A re-release from the archives focusing on Ego Nwodim's beloved entrepreneur character, Andre P. Neure, joined by a supporting ensemble in a riotous character-driven episode.
(Original episode aired as #592: March 17, 2019)

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Episode Overview

This "Bonus Bang" features Ego Nwodim's character, Entre P. Neure, and introduces her brother, Appetizer Pneur (Carl Tart), for the first time. The episode is a classic CBB blend of absurdist character riffs, semi-improv insanity, and comedic storytelling, with Langston Kerman as the bantering stand-up guest and a cameo from Paul F. Tompkins as Charles "Jarls". The episode’s core is an extended play on invention, misunderstanding, family dysfunction, and escalating wordplay.

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Key Segments and Discussion Highlights

1. Langston Kerman Interview & Oscars Writing War Stories

[03:57–24:44]

• Langston joins Scott for his first podcast visit, reminiscing about their shared writing experience for Chris Rock's Oscars hosting year.
  • High-pressure environment, trying to impress a comedy hero ("It's terrifying... trying to make your hero laugh for a day." – Langston, 07:41).
  • The writers' room is mostly a sounding board for the host. Chris Rock did most of the writing himself.
  • Behind-the-scenes: writers in tuxedos, tucked away in a basement closet with a tiny TV and a red “bat phone,” feeling disconnected from the glitz upstairs.
  • The group discusses the peculiar distributed authorship of mainstream comedy writing.
  • Memorable anecdotes about joining the WGA, the uselessness of the tux, and being far removed from the action.
    • "You are required to wear a tuxedo, but you are then led down into a basement where no one will ever see you." – Scott, 15:50
    • "I thought [my tux] would come in more use in my life." – Langston, 15:06

2. Ego Nwodim as Andre P. Neure: The Entrepreneur

[24:44–46:29]

• Andre returns brimming with "new" business ideas, all of which are accidental existing inventions.

  • Car: Described as a rectangular, motorized, wheeled vehicle. She claims to invent it, unaware it already exists.
  • Hospital: A cubicle "wellness center" where people go if they’re sick—again, oblivious to its preexistence.
    • "It sounds to me as if you're describing a hospital." – Scott, 31:43
  • Condom: Described as a "balloon for horny men," designed to cover the "little man."
    • “What is that?" – Andre (on condoms), 36:36
  • Windex/Luminol Hybrid: Andre pitches a blue (or clear) liquid to clean fingerprints—only to have Scott riff on the idea, suggesting a luminol/Windex blend for criminals.
    • "Luminol and Windex. What if they combined both of those into one product?" – Scott, 39:57

• Each pitch derails into wordplay and interlocking misunderstandings—on shapes, words, sex, and basic contemporary concepts.

  • Highlight: Extended riffing on the word "thick" and its permutations ("slim-thick," "thick-thick," etc.), plus multiple double-entendres and Andre’s naiveté about sex.

3. Appetizer Pnur Debuts: Dysfunctional Family Revelations

[52:55–86:33]

• Enter: Appetizer Pnur (Carl Tart), Andre's estranged brother—an emotionally volatile, failed Satanist-turned-inventor with a southern preacher’s cadence.
  • Recurring gag: Breaking down words and phrases to their syllables with comic nonsense etymologies.
  • Shares an elaborate, meandering resume: former pastor (ousted for preaching Satanism), Taco Bell worker (pushing “Satanic” food ideas), backup guitarist for the Eagles, music video director with O.J. Simpson, unofficial PlaySkool car taxi driver, funeral director, and more.
    • "I lifted up my pastor's robe and revealed my Old Navy lowrise boot cut jeans." – Appetizer, 73:09
    • Ongoing subplot: Caring for their ailing mother, Manure, with comedic digressions about “the itis” and other maladies.
  • The devastating (and darkly comic) revelation: Mom has died, as received via text, which Andre processes by immediately inventing the "rectangular 3D rectangle" (a coffin).
    • "What if there's a rectangular, 3D rectangle... contraption?" – Andre, 89:13

4. Late-Episode Cameos & Plug Parade

[89:45–End]

• Paul F. Tompkins appears as Classic Jarls, the befuddled, patriotic fencing instructor.
  • Joins in on the family wordplay, bid for investment in a “throat widener” and more.
• Everyone plugs stand-up dates, social media (with an extended riff on usernames and underscores), side projects, and fictional organizations.
  • Langston: Grand Rapids dates, Comedy Central half hour.
  • Andre/Ego: Follow @eggieboom, Austin Sketch Fest, more DMs.
  • Appetizer: Plugs “The Church of Satan, Christ and Latter Day Taints.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Langston on Oscars Writing Room:

• "It was just you trying to figure out how to make your hero laugh for a day." – Langston, 07:41
• "You're there to facilitate whatever the host wants... You're paid to talk a lot." – Scott, 10:00

Running Gags / Character Hooks

• Andre’s inability to recognize her inventions already exist: “I’m coming to you as an entrepreneur, in fact, my name, with ideas.” – Andre, 41:23
• Extended family wordplay and sex naiveté:
  • “I've never seen a pentece.” – Andre, 37:21
  • “What base have you gone to?... Home base. What do you consider to be home base? A phone call.” – Andre & Scott, 37:47–38:01
• Appetizer’s life story as digressive, surreal American history:
  • “Cut to 1971. That’s when they kicked me out of the church after ‘69 and ‘71 I preached Satanism and they gave me a chance.” – Appetizer, 73:24
  • “I was the backup guitarist for the Eagles... I got a lick on an album...” (plays “One of These Nights” riff) – Appetizer, 76:08

On Being Out of Touch:

• “I don’t have a mother now... that was insensitive.” – Andre, 88:08
• "Necessity is the mother of invention. I don't have a mother now." – Scott, 88:06

Plug Bag Theme Appreciation:

• “That was like the sicko mode of the plug song. Several different tunes in one.” – Andre, 98:46

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:57] – Scott’s “deep impact/Armageddon” opening; Langston introduced
• [07:41] – Oscars writing room real talk
• [14:57] – Required tuxes for Oscar-writers, but hidden in a basement
• [25:07] – Andre P. Neure’s return; accidental "car" invention
• [31:43] – Andre pitches “cubicle center” (hospital)
• [36:36] – Andre invents the condom
• [39:57] – The luminol/Windex riff (Luminex)
• [52:55] – Appetizer Pnur makes his entrance
• [54:36] – Appetizer reveals his and Andre’s estrangement, caring for mother
• [73:09] – Appetizer recounts presenting Satanism at Woodstock
• [76:08] – Appetizer’s Eagles guitar “lick”
• [89:45] – Classic Jarls (Paul F. Tompkins) enters
• [93:39] – Plug Parade

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Tone & Style

• Signature CBB: playful, absurd, meta, fast-moving comedic improv.
• Characters react belligerently, naively, or slyly to new information, providing a continuous loop of missed connections, escalating confusion, and mutual one-upmanship.
• Sexual innuendo and wordplay abound, but always filtered through character eccentricity (Andre’s sexual cluelessness, Appetizer’s preacher cadence and Satanist past, etc.).

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For the Uninitiated: Why Listen?

• A shining example of Comedy Bang Bang’s commitment to both long-form improvisational character work and affectionate satire of showbiz, language, and human folly.
• If you love comedic misunderstandings, running gags, and the spiraling logic of character-driven absurdity, you’ll relish this episode’s interplay.
• Notable for fans of Ego Nwodim and Carl Tart’s character work.

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For Further Exploration

• Past CBB episodes featuring Andre P. Neure
• Upcoming live shows (Austin Sketch Fest) listed by Ego/Andre
• Socials: @eggieboom, @langstonkerman

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Closing Note

"More sexual than I planned it to be" – a perfect encapsulation of this delightfully chaotic, endlessly quotable, and expertly played Comedy Bang Bang classic.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

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[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

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[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

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[Langston Kerman]

Us with eligible traded in any condition.

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[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Dude, my work here is done.

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[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Everybody, Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the paywall and today we are starting a new series we're very excited about. This series focuses on the wonderful character Andre P. Newer played by ego Wodom of SNL.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all love ego on SNL.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

She just left that show after 7 seasons I believe and a great talent. She comes on Comedy Bang Bang and.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is one of her favorite characters.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

To do and and this new series we're calling a buffet of Entrees and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every episode is going to focus on Entree Pinure.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Now this episode is called the Pnurs and it was originally released as Comedy bang bang episode 592 on March 17th of 2019.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have ego as entrepreneur as well.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

As the first and only appearance thus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Far of Entre's brother Appetizer.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Peigneur, played by Carl Tartt. We also have comedian Langston Kerman, who.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is going to talk about writing for.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

The Oscars the year that Chris Rock hosted. And also maybe a little visit from a very frequent guest, the very patriotic Jarls, played by Paul F. Tompkins. Now, if you enjoyed this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the archives. Every live show we've ever done ad free new episodes and original shows like CBB Presents and Scott hasn't seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

And if you're a big entre p.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

No fan, you know you can order the action figure right [e-mail] we also have other great Comedy Bang Bang characters like Italiano Jones, Carissa, Randy Snuts. You can even get an action figure of me should you so desire.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can also, if you're outside of.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

The U.S. go to action figureseller.com for international purchases. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to give you a deep impact, then Armageddon out of here. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Senor Gravy Stains. Send your Gravy Stains. What a wonderful username you have and a wonderful catchphrase submission. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. This is exciting. We have coming up on the show we have a small business owner or perhaps an inventor, I can't recall, but she's been on the show before, so we'll be talking to her about her business ideas. And we also have a relative of hers as well coming up a little later. So that's very exciting. But before we get to all that interesting conversation, we're gonna have a side interesting conversation with our guest of honor, as I like to call the first person we ever talked to. He's never been on the show before, although he was on the Comedy Bang Bang TV show and he and I have worked together in the past. Wonderful comedian. You can see him on Insecure, which is, I believe, an HBO show. If I'm no, it's not. It is an HBO show. Hey, please welcome Langston Kerman.

[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yay. He's pumping his fists up and down. He's happy to be here. First time, long time. First time, long time. We decided a few episodes back that when you tape your first appearance, we do a first and last policy. So you tape your last one right after and then you can Be on in between. But we don't want to have just suddenly you disappear. And everyone's like, where'd Langston go? So we want to do a celebratory goodbye. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

To the whole thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been doing so many of those, by the way, that I have about a year and a half banked of just the last episodes of Everyone. So when I.

[Langston Kerman]

An in memoriam of all of the.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone's saying goodbye, singing to me. I. You have something in the chamber.

[Langston Kerman]

Turning the lights off at the end of the episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. A la cheers. Welcome, Langston. It's so good to see you. You and I go a bit back. A few years back, we worked on a pilot together.

[Langston Kerman]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

We shall remain nameless.

[Langston Kerman]

Don't tell anybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Never got picked up. And then we rode on the Oscars together, which was a fun, fun time.

[Andre P. Neure]

Was it fun time? Was it, Scott?

[Langston Kerman]

It was. It was hard. It was really hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was hard for you.

[Langston Kerman]

It was very hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

I dipped in and out. I was t the last season of Comedy Bang Bang. And I didn't have a lot of time, but they said, just come by whenever you can.

[Langston Kerman]

You had a sweet deal. Cause you would come in and be real casual about whatever that was. And I had been in the room for like seven hours bombing, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I believe we got paid exactly the same. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

It was very frustrating when they handed out the checks at the end. I saw that.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we compared.

[Langston Kerman]

We're identical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Too bad. Too bad.

[Langston Kerman]

But we met Pootie Tang and that was pretty cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was great. Yeah, Lance. Yeah, he was great. We wrote for the Chris Rock year. And if you're going to pick two people to write for Chris Rock, you and me are the obvious choices.

[Langston Kerman]

It was perfect. Me, you, and Neil.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just Neil Campbell. Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Killing with Chris Rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

The three of us. And Steve o' Donnell as well. I remember the four of us would hang out a bit together. It was fun. That was. I mean, that. That was one of your first high profile writing gigs, is that correct? How was that for you?

[Langston Kerman]

It was my first actual writing gig ever.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

No way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you have to join the wga, as they call it?

[Langston Kerman]

I think so. Ye.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was the WGA strong over here. I think I joined.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I'm really standing with them in all of this. No. Yeah. I think that was the first one that I ever had to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was it like? I mean, a lot of people out there. Look, you're a wonderful standup comedian who has a body of work out There in the standup field. But a lot of people out there who are interested in show business or trying to get in show business, they want to know, what is that experience like writing for the Academy Awards? And for that to be your first writing job, what is it like?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's terrifying, right? It's just you trying to figure out how to make your hero laugh for a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a big Chris Rock fan.

[Langston Kerman]

I love Chris Rock. He's one of the best to ever touch a microphone. And then you try to make him laugh, and it doesn't work. And he figures out new ways to be funny about telling you you're doing bad. So it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a big. That was a big part of it. A lot of the humor came from just telling us we were doing a bad job.

[Langston Kerman]

It was like, hey, make it funny. And it's like, oh, okay, all right. I tried my best, but sure, I'll. I'll sit with this.

[Scott Aukerman]

So from first to last, what was it like? What was your first day like? What was. That's the general experience. But, like, what are the deets? What? Like, spare us. No dirty deets.

[Langston Kerman]

First day, we show up to a hotel where we're having lunch, but nobody will eat because we're all scared except Rich Voss. Rich Voss. He had a full meal.

[Scott Aukerman]

He ate all the courses.

[Langston Kerman]

Rich Voss felt nothing because he's rich boss. The rest of us were too nervous to finish, and we just kind of waited on Chris Rock to be there and, like, say things out loud. And we nodded as if we understood what that meant. And then three months of watching movies that I didn't care about. The Danish Girl.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I barely even remember that existing, let alone. I never watched it.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I watched it front to back.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

What was up?

[Scott Aukerman]

What was up for the award? 50 jokes about the Danish girl. Wow. How many got in? Not a one.

[Langston Kerman]

But you know what did get in with Tracy Morgan? Eating Danishes. Because the Danish Girl.

[Scott Aukerman]

There you go. That's how it works. A lot of times you're in these rooms, and it's not about crafting the perfect joke. It's about just saying stuff, and then that'll lead to something else. And, you know, like, something gets on the screen, you're like, well, I can't say I wrote that necessarily as much as I. I don't know. But that's what. That's what group writing is like, is like. You're just. You're paid to talk a lot.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. I mean, you quickly learn.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

You.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm sure. Know this, like, the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not sure.

[Langston Kerman]

Most. Most of what it was was us just being a punching bag for Chris's ideas. So it was like, he's going to write 90% of this. He just needs a soundboard to, like, figure out if this is funny or not.

[Scott Aukerman]

What I found is every host is different. You're there to facilitate whatever the host wants. It's not that you're there to get your stuff on. You're there to be a sounding board for whatever they want to do. Say if it's. If it's Andy Samb. He wants to do a lot of written comedy. So great. You're there to do written comedy. If it's for Chris Rock, he wants to really focus on the monologue. And so you're there to just talk about things and talk about issues that were going on. I remember the Black Lives Matter, not Black Lives Matter. What am I thinking? Oscar. So white. Two very similar campaigns.

[Langston Kerman]

I remember when all those celebrities got murdered at the Oscars. All those. Chadwick got shot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man, it was terrible.

[Langston Kerman]

Nobody was happy about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

But OscarsSoWhite was going on, and suddenly. And Chris had agreed to host before that reared its ugly head. I remember he kept stepping outside to take calls from prominent black leaders, from them to like, say, hey, what are you going to do about this? And him to, like, say, well, it.

[Langston Kerman]

Was literally like Jesse Jackson was like, calling to be like, hey, man, I don't think you should do the right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or Chuck D or I can't remember who. But it was like he was constantly taking calls from people, right? Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I think it's like, for him, it was such a weird dance because he. He wanted to just be a comedian. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

You just wanted to go out there and not have the responsibility. Although, you know, as a comedian, you have a certain responsibility to say stuff that resonates and matters. But. But at the same time, the added responsibility of. You have to focus so much of your comedy on this one issue, right?

[Langston Kerman]

It's like I wanted to make fun of Mel Gibson for being Mel Gibson, not Mel Gibson, because he's a part of, like, a system that's created hatred.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what else are you making fun of Mel Gibson for?

[Langston Kerman]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

He looks shit now.

[Classic Jarls]

Oh, wow.

[Langston Kerman]

Hey, suck a D, Mel Gibson.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Langston's comedy, though. Very Mel Gibson centric.

[Langston Kerman]

I've been on him for a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man.

[Langston Kerman]

Before all that weird stuff where he hated Jews.

[Scott Aukerman]

I air America.

[Langston Kerman]

Not a. Not a fan of. Of Lethal Weapon 4.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's of course, the one that Chris Rock was in. So Chris wanted to make fun of his co star. I don't know, we're just. This is not a real thing. Please no blogs. Pick up on this.

[Langston Kerman]

A permanent thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is not a thing. But. And, and then let's talk about the actual physical details of doing the show.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you're in a hotel room for quite a few weeks.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, we spent like three weeks living in a hotel room and then writing every single day in that same hotel.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I would pop my head in for an hour or two at a time. One day a week.

[Langston Kerman]

You'd poke in, you'd say hello to everyone, you'd leave. You had a good deal. And then even the Oscars night, we were in the basement.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So the Oscars night, here's what happens. You do get to park in good parking.

[Langston Kerman]

Sweet parking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although you, you were in the hotel.

[Langston Kerman]

Room, so maybe I didn't park anywhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you just walked across.

[Langston Kerman]

But I saw you park and I was like, that's pretty good.

[Scott Aukerman]

You get to park on the actual like P1.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which is. I don't know if you know the.

[Langston Kerman]

I know one better than two.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it goes all the way down to six maybe. But you get to park on P1 right next to the entrance. A lot of security. You're not allowed to take a photo of your badge because then someone, you know and Instagram it because then someone can copy it. And then you know it has a, you know, the security symbol on it. So you go through security to get into. To the very famous, what is it? The Kodak Theater. The Dolby now I think maybe it used to be the Kodak. You get in there and you're expecting a lot of times when you work on these things, like, oh man, I'm gonna be like right off to the side of the stage. The glitz, the glamour gonna be like feeding jokes, you know, in the host's ear. And you're led then downstairs through the catacombs to a very, very tiny closet like room.

[Langston Kerman]

We were next to the band's equ, the leftover equipment that the band, they.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were like, yeah, we're not going.

[Langston Kerman]

We don't need these. Too many triangles.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll leave these down. Let's leave the maracas. Downstairs. You let into a room and it has a 12 inch TV on the wall. Very, very tiny. You can barely a good TV and you have one like red telephone in the middle of the, in the middle of the table.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. And like an old one Like a Commissioner Gordon bat phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

It has like the cake, right? The glass above it that you have to.

[Langston Kerman]

For some reason, it still had the rotary. It's like, come on. That's not the fastest way we could.

[Scott Aukerman]

Call these people, by the way. Sidebar on this. That cake thing that they used to keep on the bat phone. We were trying. Or we had this thing in bang bang we never used, which was I was going to get the hotline, I was gonna raise the cake lid, grab the phone, and it was cake. My hand would just sink into it. But we never found a place to put that. So you're led into this tiny room and you. By the way, the other part. You are required to wear a tuxedo.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes, we. We had to wear fur.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where did you get yours? I, of course, own several. Did you. Did you buy or did you.

[Langston Kerman]

I bought a tux.

[Scott Aukerman]

You bought a tux for it?

[Langston Kerman]

Because I thought that this would come in more of. More use in my life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I was flipping through your Instagram the other day, and you were at.

[Langston Kerman]

The Emmys about to the Emmys as a plus one with my. My girl. She. She got there. She works for the TV Academy.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Oh, great.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, she's a lawyer that. They represent the TV Academy.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Oh, okay, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

So she got to go and took you with her. I saw pics on the red carpet. You're wearing your tux.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

It look.

[Langston Kerman]

Thanks, man. Same tuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

So two times you've been able to wear this any weddings?

[Langston Kerman]

I did. I wore it to my manager's wedding, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Langston Kerman]

Black tie wedding.

[Scott Aukerman]

So three times. Three times, as they said in the.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Fugees.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that about it, you wrapping it up. There's never gonna be a fourth.

[Langston Kerman]

Maybe that'll be a fourth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

Someday I hope to wear my tux again.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're required to wear a tuxedo, but you are then led down into a basement where no one will ever see you.

[Langston Kerman]

Never. And they make a point of saying, don't leave this room. Don't you dare think about coming upstairs, you ignorant slut. You'll never see the light of day. And how did they know you were a slut? I was giving off vibes, you know, you can tell with these.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he's shaking your little butt around. I'm wearing those low rise jeans, boots.

[Langston Kerman]

With the fur underneath my tux.

[Appetizer Pnur]

It's weird.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then if you ever have an idea, which you're not really encouraged to ever have an idea, you then ask someone to call someone on that phone. You're not allowed to call on the phone. We were.

[Langston Kerman]

I feel like you and I were probably three positions away from actually being able to make.

[Scott Aukerman]

We were far in the back. You're jammed in there with every other writer other than the host usually has one or two point people who are answering the phone on the other end.

[Langston Kerman]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

But there's just not enough room in those spaces to have, you know, 20 writers.

[Langston Kerman]

But even so, we would have to report to somebody who would then make the phone call, and then they would report to the liaison who would then.

[Scott Aukerman]

Communicate it to Chris, decide if they were gonna communicate it, decide if they.

[Langston Kerman]

Were gonna communicate it. Which often became the thing where it's like you write a joke, you share it with the two head writers. They decide if they're gonna share it and they're gonna decide to share it in the way that they think is most appropriate to share the joke. And then it becomes a game of telephone. That isn't really the joke that you probably started with.

[Scott Aukerman]

Possibly. Although I don't rem we ever said on the phone. Ever getting said on stage.

[Langston Kerman]

Not even a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're then. So then you spend about three, three and a half hours in a. In a tuxedo in a hot room.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

With a bunch of other people. Or if you're one of the lady writers, you're in a dress, obviously. And then it's over. And. And then you're allowed to go to one party.

[Langston Kerman]

The Governor's Ball.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Governor's ball. Yeah. And that's fun.

[Langston Kerman]

It was pretty nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What'd you there?

[Langston Kerman]

Sushi. They had a pile of sushi taller than me. And I was like, I gotta eat. I gotta eat that.

[Scott Aukerman]

A 7 foot tall. I love sushi.

[Langston Kerman]

You're very presumptive. It was only 5 11. It was 511 of sushi.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're. And you're required to jump up to the top of the stack. Like Jenga. Yeah. Yeah. You can't pick out salmon rolls from the middle.

[Langston Kerman]

They're very strict about that. Yeah. I had sushi. I had some of those chocolate Oscar shaped men. You know, they had the men, but they. You eat them, they're chocolate. That was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're just like shoving Oscar chocolate men down your throat. Sure.

[Langston Kerman]

I love the motion.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm miming something that was not too polite.

[Langston Kerman]

He made it much more sexual than I planned it to be. But here we are. Comedy Bang bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Much more sexual than I planned it to be. That's our theme for this year. And then it's over, and you go back to your hotel and you get on a flight home and people ask you about it and they go, oh, God. What jokes did you write and what do you get? What do you usually say? I get. I get that a lot. What jokes did you write?

[Langston Kerman]

I just told the truth.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet you wrote this one. Yeah, of course you tell the truth. Always.

[Langston Kerman]

I literally got.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although you're not under oath.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I mean, the cool thing would be, like, most of them. Like, pretty much all of them. Those are all me. This is really my presence, you know, the model that. No, I. Yeah. I don't know what to tell people.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, you just kind of go like, oh, it's not really about that. You try to spin it that way. It's not really about. You make it a lesson. Jokes. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

I never felt good about telling anybody that. That was a successful effort on my end.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it was successful on your end because you were there. As you said, you're there to get the finished product across the line, whatever that may be. Whatever small part, they hire so many people so that it's just a numbers game there. Just like whatever small thing you may have put in that gets it there.

[Langston Kerman]

I think the weird thing with comedy is that most people don't know that concept, that this, like, nothing is written by one person. Like, we collectively make these things and sort of run them past me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Aaron Sorkin, sure, yeah. He's the one exception, but that's a.

[Langston Kerman]

Lot due to cocaine and walking. He does a lot of walking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does he really?

[Langston Kerman]

Those walking things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the way he walks as he's riding in order to.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't think he can get the cadence right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's see. This hallway is approximately 45 yards. I'm going to walk 45 yards while I write the scene. And when. When it's over, I'm done.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Let's see.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want. I want to now segue over to the show Insecure because you're. You're on that show.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

What.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your character's name? I looked it up, but his name is Jared. Jared, that's right. Like a J A R E D situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Or yes. Yeah. I've never actually spelled it out.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Really?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm not 100% sure, but that sounds right.

[Scott Aukerman]

It sounds about right.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. Now I have not seen the show. I hear great things about it. And my wife. Excuse me. I get emotional when I talk. My wife. No, my wife watches it. And I'll wander through the room Occasionally. And I didn't know you were on it. And I wandered through the room, and you were there, and I said, oh, hey, that's Langston and my wife, Coolop. I don't know. You've met her.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

She goes, no, it's not. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure it is. And then she got me doubting it, and I was like, no, that's Langston. She's like, I don't think so. And I started wondering why she was saying it like that. Yeah. And I suddenly realized that she'd been watching. You have a sexy part on the show.

[Langston Kerman]

I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

And she was like, I don't think my husband knows. This thirst trap is all I could really kind of get from that. Of, like, you're not cool enough to know this great guy. For some reason, she didn't put it together that that was you because you're so, like, sultry and sexy and cool on each other.

[Langston Kerman]

I transform. I'm truly a transformed actor on. No, it's just me pretending to be very nice and sexy when I'm not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I think it definitely worked on her because she was like. She was like, no, I've met Langston. This is.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

This is.

[Scott Aukerman]

This hot dude is not Langston dude selling something. And you are. That's two seasons on that show. Is that right?

[Langston Kerman]

I did the first. I was in the first season quite a bit, and then I made a brief appearance in the third season. I know Comedy Bang Bang has lots of crossover with Insecure as well as listeners, and. Yeah, no spoilers, but third season.

[Scott Aukerman]

Third season's coming up.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it already came out.

[Scott Aukerman]

It already came out. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

It's like, sort of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Isn't it bad now that you can stream anything and watch anything whenever you want? Now we have to protect spoilers for years.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, years, right? Because somebody could be like, I was gonna get to that. Yeah, fuck you. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, I understand Bachelor spoilers.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Up to two days, maybe.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? And then it's past the point of expiration.

[Langston Kerman]

I don't love when people go on the Internet, just, like, announce a bunch of stuff. But if we're having a conversation, I'm not gonna, like, pull back on this stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

If it's a movie that's come out in the last two weeks or maybe even a month or whatever, I'll check with someone and go, hey, what do you think about this? But if it's been three years, stop.

[Langston Kerman]

Making me not finish Fight Club. I'm gonna tell the ending To Fight Club at this point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's wonderful. You're a great. Stand up. And where are you out there performing these days?

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, I run a monthly show at a place called Milk Tavern where we.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's every day for a month and then you stop for 11 months.

[Langston Kerman]

For the entire month of March, we'll be at Milk Tavern every Wednesday. Why is it every month, every day and Wednesday? I'm not good at this.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a monthly and Wednesday show.

[Langston Kerman]

It's great.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's here in town. In la.

[Langston Kerman]

In Koreatown. In Koreatown, they sell ice cream with alcohol in it.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Oh, they do? What alcohols?

[Scott Aukerman]

What ice creams?

[Langston Kerman]

They have like, sherbet with tequila. They have like. Yeah, all the mixes, probably. I've only had that one, so that was the one I was gonna list up.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you out there traveling as well? Can people see you in other states?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm gonna be in Grand Rapids this weekend for a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I think this may. Well, it might be out by then. Okay, sure. Great. So Grand Rapids this weekend. We'll do plugs a little later, but people can see you. Do you have a special out as well?

[Langston Kerman]

A Comedy Central half hour.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And people can. No spoilers.

[Langston Kerman]

No spoilers.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you talk about without giving spoilers? Men and women.

[Langston Kerman]

A lot of men. Shopping.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shopping.

[Langston Kerman]

You know, the women are doing that one. It's their thing. And yeah, I, you know, I just talk about stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Langston Kerman]

Nonsense.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a wonderful comedian. I implore everyone to go look at that Comedy Central special. But we need to get to our next guest. Is that okay with you? You're not the guest of honor, as obviously you were.

[Langston Kerman]

No, I'm excited to meet your next guest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we've met her before. When I say we, I mean the royal we. And when I say the royal we, I mean the royal. Listeners of Comedy band Bang Bang. We've all met her before. Approximately, I'd say, 10 months ago. She was on the show. And she is a inventor, Small businesswoman. Please welcome back to the show Andre P. Neure.

[Andre P. Neure]

It's a pleasure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much for returning.

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, thank you for having me back. I got some more ideas. And last time you were on the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Show, you had a lot of business ideas.

[Andre P. Neure]

Absolutely. It's in my name. But, baby, did we ever crack?

[Scott Aukerman]

Whether you were you've changed your name because you have so many ideas and you're an entrepreneur, or you were named that first.

[Andre P. Neure]

Who would I change my name to?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, from something else. To Entrepeno. I'm not suggesting you change your name from entrepreneur to small business woman.

[Andre P. Neure]

Scott. Do me a solid and call me by my name.

[Scott Aukerman]

I will definitely give you that Timothee Chalamet treatment here.

[Andre P. Neure]

Big fan.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

His.

[Scott Aukerman]

The opposite. I'm sorry, the opposite of Timothy Chalamet. Big fan of his.360.

[Andre P. Neure]

But you're a big fan of his. If it's the opposite, wouldn't it be 180?

[Scott Aukerman]

It would be a 180, but I'm going to come right back around. Okay, that was my. My friend started the Management360 management group. And I always would. Would joke that your career will end exactly where you came in.

[Andre P. Neure]

They have some successful actors over there.

[Langston Kerman]

They do.

[Scott Aukerman]

They do. Not me anymore.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, did you leave?

[Scott Aukerman]

They were too successful.

[Andre P. Neure]

They.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

They dropped.

[Scott Aukerman]

They did not drop me, but I.

[Andre P. Neure]

Let's get into it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Around when they started having the Renee Zellwegers and Reese Witherspoons of the world and Game of. They started Game of Thrones and all that, I realized that I was not fitting in with their clientele.

[Andre P. Neure]

I understand what you're saying.

[Langston Kerman]

Just stop answering the calls a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love them over there.

[Andre P. Neure]

I understand. Not you. Not a thick white woman with blonde hair is what you're trying to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I don't know necessarily if they're thick. I mean, what do you think?

[Andre P. Neure]

Renee is thick.

[Scott Aukerman]

My friend Will Amit, she. She described thicke as having big boobs, tiny waist, big butt.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, that bitch Wilhelmina. I know that bitch. Yeah, you know what? She's right. She's right. But, you know, thick comes in different varieties. You could be slim, thick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Slim, thick.

[Andre P. Neure]

Slim thick. I think Renee might be slim thick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what is slim thick to you?

[Andre P. Neure]

Slim thick is a big butt, small waist, big titties.

[Langston Kerman]

But.

[Andre P. Neure]

But what?

[Langston Kerman]

No, she went in the opposite order. You got the order mixed up.

[Andre P. Neure]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Langston Kerman]

She went down, you went.

[Scott Aukerman]

You went up.

[Andre P. Neure]

Thank you. Thank you. Understand? But on a small frame, does that make sense?

[Scott Aukerman]

That makes sense. So normal thick is on a big frame.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or medium frame?

[Andre P. Neure]

A medium frame.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Andre P. Neure]

Because a big frame would be thick. Thick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so now what if someone has a small frame and big boobies, as they say, and small waist, but then no butt.

[Andre P. Neure]

That is unfortunate. That's what we would describe. You know what? Nobody shaming Scott. This is a trap.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not shaming. You said it was unfortunate.

[Andre P. Neure]

This is a trap. This is a trap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Help. Sorry. Sorry, sir. Look, I'm to trying. Andre, you Delete that.

[Langston Kerman]

This is not gonna help your business.

[Andre P. Neure]

No. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Andre, last time you were on the show, the ninth anniversary show, as I recall, you pitched a lot of businesses to us. I remember one of them was like a rectangular motorized propulsion vehicle.

[Andre P. Neure]

Sure. Several. Two to even seven people could ride in one of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And there would be the oldest invention in the world. The world wheel.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That the caveman banged out with his bone.

[Andre P. Neure]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

There would be approximately 4 of those on.

[Andre P. Neure]

Right. On the underbelly.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the. Yeah, undercarriage.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah, undercarriage, Underbelly.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the taint of the car.

[Andre P. Neure]

On the. On the gooch meat of the car.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then we all realized you were just pitching car. And in. In fact, you called it a car just now. So you know what a car. Car is?

[Andre P. Neure]

I've never heard. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. Never heard of. Never heard. I don't have a name for it just yet. I've heard. I've talked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Called it a car.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't have. I don't have a name for it just yet, but when I was describing it to some colleagues, they had used the word car. So I saw. That's not a bad name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Short and sweet to the point.

[Andre P. Neure]

That's not a bad name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Most of those three letter words are already taken.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? Like, find any combination of three words. It usually means something already.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Hat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Box.

[Andre P. Neure]

Bat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bat. I mean, all these.

[Andre P. Neure]

Can.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're all great words and they're things that we use all the time. And they're all taken.

[Andre P. Neure]

They're all taken.

[Scott Aukerman]

So if you're out there trying to come up with a new invention, it's like, what do you got?

[Andre P. Neure]

Right, Right. Well, I do want to talk to you about something I. I have also come up with because I'm interested in invested. So, Langston, if you are interested in.

[Langston Kerman]

Investing, I am an investor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Langston is so rich that he doesn't even know if he joined the wga.

[Langston Kerman]

It's meaningless to me.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those dudes. Who cares? Write a check, forget about it immediately.

[Langston Kerman]

Disgusting.

[Andre P. Neure]

Listen, I. This is this. Now this. Hear me out on this one.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm. Listen, we're all ears.

[Langston Kerman]

We're all very excited.

[Andre P. Neure]

I. What's a cubicle? A cubicle type building.

[Scott Aukerman]

So a cube, meaning equal on all sides, all eight sides. Or is it six sides? I guess it would be six sides.

[Andre P. Neure]

Six sides. A cubicle, six sides, six sides.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has the Fuji set.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes. Has the Fuji set three times. A cubicle type building where if you're not feeling well, you can go. There will be people there who can assist you in regaining health, determine what it is that's wrong with you, and then give you the proper kind of treatment that you would need to be healthy again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'm gonna stop you really briefly now.

[Andre P. Neure]

Hear me out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm not gonna stop you.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay, go ahead, scorn and stop me. White man slavery. Me.

[Scott Aukerman]

No white man splaining at all. I'm merely.

[Andre P. Neure]

I know the fans love when I talk about race.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just, I'm person splaining.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. Yeah, just two people talking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just. I. Let me person splain to you that everything you've described, other than the cubicle nature of the building, which most buildings are not purely cubicle. They're.

[Andre P. Neure]

They're interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're. Sometimes they're. They're more what you would call a three dimensional rectangle or. But it sounds, sounds, sounds to me as if you're describing a hospital.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, I was thinking.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't. What is. Okay, what is that? I haven't heard.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a building normally not cubicle.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I've just seen a rhombus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, could be a rhombus.

[Andre P. Neure]

How that look?

[Langston Kerman]

Thank you for asking.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

It's.

[Langston Kerman]

It's sort of like what you were describing, but at an angle.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

A little tilted, but more. I think the more important part is that it's. It's almost identical to what you described of a space where people go to get health care.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The shape of the building normally doesn't matter. Although I would say the bottom usually has to be flat.

[Langston Kerman]

Flat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, usually the thing I want.

[Andre P. Neure]

To do certainly has a flat bottom. I would say it has a flat bottom.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's not thick?

[Andre P. Neure]

No, no, no, it's not thick. It's unfortunate. It's unfortunate. Yeah. The bottom of what I'm doing, it's unfortunate.

[Scott Aukerman]

But most buildings, they have a bottom side too. So you're not falling to the center of the earth.

[Andre P. Neure]

And the building is going to have a slim waist, big boot, big titties. It's going to be a thick building. Don't understand. It's going to have to be. Contain a lot of people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Andre P. Neure]

Because people are falling ill left and right. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

They are, yeah. Tell me if I'm wrong.

[Andre P. Neure]

Tell me again. Try to tell me I'm wrong.

[Langston Kerman]

With that you have found a market.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Definitely. But it is a market that is primarily going to these places called hospitals.

[Andre P. Neure]

I've never heard of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never been to one.

[Andre P. Neure]

How can I be to something I haven't heard of?

[Langston Kerman]

Have you ever been sick before?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. What happens?

[Langston Kerman]

What do you do?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your process?

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, first I look myself in the mirror.

[Scott Aukerman]

You look yourself in the mirror is the first step.

[Andre P. Neure]

I look myself in the mirror.

[Langston Kerman]

You have a good laugh. Because laughter is the best medicine. Good answer.

[Andre P. Neure]

You understand? That's what I've been doing, and that's what they've been saying. And I think, what if medicine was the best medicine? That's what I'm trying to say. But what I do when I fall ill is I look myself in the mirror and I say, is this really happening? Why me? And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. You. You think that this may be like a simulation or something where it's not really happening and you're. It's like the Matrix where suddenly someone's going to red pill you. By the way, I'd love to red pill you before we.

[Langston Kerman]

Sure.

[Andre P. Neure]

What does it mean to red pill someone?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I. It's taken on some poor connotations lately, but.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Because I actually didn't know. I was just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Sanding my way through comedy.

[Andre P. Neure]

Bang, bang. More sexual than we expected. What is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

And we're gonna red pill you by the end of the show.

[Andre P. Neure]

Is that what happened?

[Scott Aukerman]

You can look it up after the show, but.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. Never heard of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Never heard. Oh, okay, well.

[Andre P. Neure]

Never heard it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't let someone do it to you. Okay, but what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. Do you think it's like the Matrix where you're. Where, you know, you have a different body somewhere else and it's not really happening?

[Andre P. Neure]

I've never seen the Matrix.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Oh, really?

[Andre P. Neure]

I've never seen it. But I do wonder when I fall ill and I start to feel weak in the knees, I say to myself, is this real?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it real?

[Andre P. Neure]

Is it real?

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you determine if it is or not?

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, then I touch the mirror and I say, okay, we're here.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're here.

[Andre P. Neure]

We're dealing with this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're touching something in your physical proximity to it. Might be a dream. It might be.

[Andre P. Neure]

Right, Right. So maybe. Maybe if the Matrix is a dream, maybe I thought I was in it, but I haven't seen it to say one way or the other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Matrix isn't really. I wouldn't call it a dream, Langston. Right.

[Langston Kerman]

No, it's. It's. It's more of a digital mental.

[Scott Aukerman]

Digital stimulation. Although when you say digital stimulation, that also has some. Some connotations that this show is feeling. Sexy today.

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, speaking. It's 10 in the morning.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm horny.

[Andre P. Neure]

Speaking of horny. Speaking of horns.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Andre P. Neure]

I have another invention I'd like, if y' all don't want to invest in the cube, like, treatment center.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why is the cube part of it so integral to.

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, I'm learning new shapes now. You told me rectangle. You told me a rhombus.

[Langston Kerman]

A rhombus.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Rhombus.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay, understood.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rhumba is something that would clean up your hospital.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, okay. Well, I.

[Langston Kerman]

That she doesn't recognize as a name.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't know what a roomba is? What's your new invention?

[Andre P. Neure]

My new invention is for horny people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Andre P. Neure]

Horny men. It's like a balloon.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've cut your market in half immediately. You said horny people and then horny men.

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, because it's particular.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Andre P. Neure]

It's like a balloon you would put atop your little man to protect you from diseases so you don't have to go to the cube. So I'm also kind of undercutting my own business.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Like, if you really wanted. And I think, by the way, what you're mentioning is a condom.

[Andre P. Neure]

What is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

That is a latex. Or if you're allergic to latex, perhaps lambskin. Lambskin Protective covering for your little man.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or big man, depending on how horny.

[Andre P. Neure]

You are and who you are, how.

[Langston Kerman]

Thick you are, you know, how it grows. Then changes shape depending on horny level.

[Scott Aukerman]

Changes shape. Change shape into a rhombus.

[Andre P. Neure]

Sometimes a change of shape. Okay, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it protects your man and also protects the recipient of your lovemaking from any secretions that may come out of the. What I call the cyclops hole at the very, very tippy tip.

[Andre P. Neure]

You call a pussy a cyclops?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, you mean the head. The penis head.

[Scott Aukerman]

The penis head has a little ovular opening.

[Andre P. Neure]

I see. I've never seen a pentece.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you've never seen one?

[Andre P. Neure]

Never seen. I've heard of them. Wait, but these I've heard of.

[Langston Kerman]

You already planned an. Despite not having seen it.

[Andre P. Neure]

I've heard of them, though I have male friends. I've heard of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're an older woman and you've had relationships with women then your whole life or with.

[Andre P. Neure]

No, I've had relationships with men.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, but you just have never gone downtown?

[Andre P. Neure]

Platonic. Yeah, no, I don't go downtown.

[Langston Kerman]

And they don't visit me there, would you say? Which base. Which base have you gone to?

[Scott Aukerman]

Visited?

[Andre P. Neure]

Home base.

[Langston Kerman]

Home base.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what do you consider to be home base in a relationship with a man?

[Andre P. Neure]

A phone call.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where they call you or you call them?

[Andre P. Neure]

A phone call? We, they call me.

[Scott Aukerman]

They call you. Okay, so you calling them is what, third base?

[Andre P. Neure]

That's that as a lady. Yes, as a lady. That's really putting myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's for them calling you back.

[Andre P. Neure]

If they call me back. That is a home run.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a home run.

[Andre P. Neure]

That's what we call a home run where I'm from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you don't know a lot about sex. What gave you an interest in the.

[Andre P. Neure]

Topic, in the topic of sex? Well, because I'm hearing a lot of people are having it. I've heard a lot of people.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a lot of people's favorite things.

[Andre P. Neure]

Thing to do, which is strange to me. There's so many other activities you could find yourself involved.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you do? Like, what do you do on a day to day basis? You get up, you touch the mirror. And what does entree do after that?

[Andre P. Neure]

Only if I feel ill.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you don't feel ill, you never touch the mirror.

[Andre P. Neure]

I would never touch a mirror if I don't feel ill.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. It's all those fingerprints on it.

[Andre P. Neure]

Exactly. But speaking of fingy prints, I have another.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, are y' all gonna invest?

[Andre P. Neure]

Are you just gonna let me tell you my ideas and then steal them?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's probably gonna be a pass on the first two for me because they exist already.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm here for it. I'm here. I don't quite hear the product that I'm ready to invest in.

[Andre P. Neure]

What are you looking for?

[Langston Kerman]

I'm excited to hear this fingerprint thing that you.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all have them. We all have about 10 of them if we're lucky.

[Langston Kerman]

This feels hot.

[Andre P. Neure]

So you touch a mirror, you touch things, your fingerprint fingerprints are on them. I have come up with a liquid blue in nature. Could be clear. I haven't decided that part just yet. Where you can put the liquid upon the surface where your fingerprints have left a mark. And wipe. You understand?

[Scott Aukerman]

And wipe. You wipe the fingerprints off. Okay. At first I thought you were talking about luminol, which would make the fingerprints light up in black light. But now I think you're talking about Windex.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't. I've never heard you. You telling me things I haven't heard of. You understand?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Luminol and Windex. What if they combine both of those into one product? Now there's something where if like you have just committed a crime and I'm I know I'm walking your side of the street now. Coming up with inventions.

[Andre P. Neure]

Crime side.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've No. I mean inventions. I'm not saying you're a criminal, but you. You've just committed a crime. You've murdered someone. And they're. Hotel room. And then you're like, I don't know if I left any fingerprints.

[Langston Kerman]

Where did I put my hands?

[Scott Aukerman]

You spray the room with this luminal Windex contraption. It lights up the fingerprints, and you can wipe them off because the Windex.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

There it is.

[Andre P. Neure]

This sounds idiotic. This sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's something that doesn't exist here.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't usually cuss, but this sounds freaking stupid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that a home base of cussing for you?

[Andre P. Neure]

This is freaking stupid. Excuse me.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll be honest. I actually. I'm very into what Scott's saying.

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, then why don't y' all go?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll give you. All I need is about $5 million for 10 investment.

[Langston Kerman]

Ah, that's.

[Andre P. Neure]

I'm not allowed to go on Shark Tank.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not allowed?

[Andre P. Neure]

They banned me. They. I'm banned from sh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you went on already or because you have been trying to get.

[Andre P. Neure]

I've been trying to get on, and they're telling me, oh, we. We. We got. We cause cars, hospitals. They're saying.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're saying the words no.

[Andre P. Neure]

And they're saying them to me, and I'm like, I don't know what that is. I'm coming to you as an entrepreneur, in fact, my name with ideas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Andre P. Neure]

And now y' all want to tell me they already exist. And you know why they want to tell me they already exist? They want to tell me that because they want to take my ideas and claim they already exist.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not what's happening here. But why would Mr. Wonderful treat you that way? Yeah, that's.

[Andre P. Neure]

I just think that what you said. Luminal Windex combination is freaking stupid.

[Scott Aukerman]

What would the combo name be? Luminex.

[Langston Kerman]

Luminex. I like that.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, so is this about y' all now?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I have a investor on the hook here.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm really excited about this option.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Langston Kerman]

If we use condoms, you know where the semen is.

[Andre P. Neure]

What are those? What are those?

[Langston Kerman]

Well, the balloons you mentioned earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the balloons for the little man. Yeah. If you go in there to murder someone and you put on a condom, nothing's leaking out the front end.

[Andre P. Neure]

Even if you don't plan on committing any sexual.

[Langston Kerman]

Just in case you might be horny you might be in there. Horny.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never know what state you're gonna get in after you kill someone. It might be so euphoric that suddenly you're sitting there with an erection that just pops off.

[Andre P. Neure]

Look, I'm gonna. I wanna. Look, no, no. I don't like that you took something I brought to you. I brought. I brought the liquid.

[Scott Aukerman]

I beg your pardon, but it's a lot like writing for the Oscars, you know? I mean, you said something which led us to. And that's what we did with. Yeah, it's a group thing here. And no matter, you know, I mean, I can't say that you're going to get paid exactly the same as me or Langston here on this, but that's what happens in life now.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay, well, here's the thing. I have another ride.

[Scott Aukerman]

You do? Okay, one more. And then we have to go to break. And then we have a special surprise.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have one more idea?

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. Yes. So we all watch movies. I do know those. Seen those. Heard of those?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Because I think. Didn't we mention one?

[Andre P. Neure]

I wasn't listening. Because when people talk, usually, and I'm not involved in the conversation, I plug my ears.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been wondering what you're doing there with your finger, because I don't want.

[Andre P. Neure]

Anyone to think I thought you were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trying to leave fingerprints inside your ear holes.

[Andre P. Neure]

No, no, no. They won't stick. They won't stick there because I clean out my ears with another invention I'll mention on another day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'm sure it's like a stick with a little bit of cotton on the ends. Anyway, go ahead.

[Andre P. Neure]

Have you been in my lab?

[Scott Aukerman]

You have?

[Andre P. Neure]

In my lab. Oh, Lord. Okay, so my next invention is something for entertainment purposes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you know what a movie is? This is not gonna be something.

[Andre P. Neure]

No, that would be ridiculous.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would be freaking ridiculous. And I hate to curse.

[Andre P. Neure]

People have been making movies since the 90s.

[Scott Aukerman]

Since the train coming. Well, way before the. Maybe the 1890s.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, I don't know. Scott, you need to check your history books.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not really in a lot of history books, I gotta admit, they sort of gloss over them.

[Andre P. Neure]

The 90s? 90s? I'd say 19.

[Scott Aukerman]

But ever since that train coming right at the audience, which made them all scream and go, ah, so there's a train loose in the theater. They all ran out.

[Andre P. Neure]

That's an. I don't know this story.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's one of the earliest movies, really, that just scared everyone. And I hate to curse as well, but spitless.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't like when you use that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. That's the third base of cursing.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't like when you use that word. I'm gonna just tell you that much. But I know. Look, I. I know I have only one chance to say this last idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, we all know movies. It's not that.

[Andre P. Neure]

It's not. Of course not. We all know. You know movies.

[Langston Kerman]

I know movies.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. So there's so many of them. Several coming out every year.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems like every day there's some new movie.

[Andre P. Neure]

Of course. And they got streaming services. They got.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know about those.

[Andre P. Neure]

I know those. I know those. I'm not a fricking idiot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, calm down.

[Langston Kerman]

You are very savvy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You're salty today as well.

[Andre P. Neure]

I am salty. I am salty. So I wanna have a thing where people can gather to kind of critique movies. Maybe offer some type of recognition for movies. Convene in a cubicle type space. Dress to the nines.

[Scott Aukerman]

To the nines. Are we talking tuxedos?

[Andre P. Neure]

Tuxedos. Shorts.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what? Those are good.

[Andre P. Neure]

Gowns.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gowns. Great, great.

[Andre P. Neure]

And then somebody present them with recognition for the films.

[Scott Aukerman]

What would the award look like? Would it have. Would it be thick?

[Andre P. Neure]

It would be. I would say it would be thin. Thin bottomed. Thin bottomed.

[Langston Kerman]

Unfortunate.

[Andre P. Neure]

Unfortunate.

[Langston Kerman]

Unfortunate.

[Andre P. Neure]

Unfortunate. Small framed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Small framed. But tiny waist.

[Andre P. Neure]

Tiny waist. And we would call it Oscar so white.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you were not plugging your ears during the first part of the show.

[Andre P. Neure]

Because I'll be honest, any true inventor has to keep their ear to the street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then why are you plugging them so often?

[Andre P. Neure]

Because I don't want it. Because I want to hear just enough to inspire me. You understand?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? So you listened to the entire conversation that we had and you just repeated back everything that we said?

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah. Because that was 2016.

[Andre P. Neure]

I've never heard of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

2016. You've heard of the 90s? And now.

[Andre P. Neure]

And now only things that matter.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, look, we need to take a break, but when we come back. This is very exciting. You brought a relative of yours.

[Andre P. Neure]

I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

With you. We mentioned him in the last show.

[Andre P. Neure]

My brother.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your brother. When we come back, your brother is here and he's going to tell us all about whatever he has going on.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is exciting.

[Andre P. Neure]

He's busy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's very busy. All right, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we'll have more Langston Kerman, more Andre P. Neure and her brother will be here. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Hey, this podcast, Comedy Bang Bang is.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. We are back here. Langston Kerman, a stand up comedian extraordinaire.

[Langston Kerman]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's still pumping his fist. He's so excited to be here. I love this.

[Langston Kerman]

This is great.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have Entre P Neure, who is back, by the way, that's spelled entre P E E E I think. Right? You don't remember.

[Andre P. Neure]

How often am I putting my middle name on forms?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you're a lot like Langston's character over here, Gerard or whatever it was.

[Langston Kerman]

Jared. But who knows?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who knows?

[Andre P. Neure]

Langston, when you signed in for the audition, or you read in your sides to reflect, rehearse for the scene, or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does it just say person?

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah, that's what I'm curious.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you know what it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know a lot about acting. You know, size.

[Andre P. Neure]

I know enough about. I. On my way in here, I heard some actors talking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. What were they talking about? I want this part.

[Andre P. Neure]

They were talking about. They're talking about audition, same day, self tapes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm offer only. That's right.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah. Offer only. That's after you left 360, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's. I was like, offer only. And they're like, guess what?

[Langston Kerman]

You're fired. We're done with you.

[Andre P. Neure]

You are not a thick white woman. That's what they say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome back to the show. And this is very exciting. We mentioned him the last time you were on the show, that you had a brother.

[Andre P. Neure]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

And.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't know what he does or what his life is like, but I'm here to interview him.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

But you brought him.

[Scott Aukerman]

We asked you to bring him here.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. And it took. I had to get in touch with him. I had to.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's usually the first step in trying to relay any kind of information with anyone.

[Langston Kerman]

Are you guys estranged?

[Andre P. Neure]

No, we are not estranged. Successful people don't have time for each other. I think that we all know that, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. That's the excuse that I give to all my friends. I'm successful, you're successful, I'm successful.

[Andre P. Neure]

Enough said.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's just end it here.

[Andre P. Neure]

Enough said. So it took some work to get in touch with him. He has several assistants. He has several assistants coming up with a lot of. I don't want to paint him into a corner now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure you don't want to tell us too much about his life?

[Andre P. Neure]

I've been there before. Painted into a corner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Yes, that's right. The last time you were on.

[Andre P. Neure]

Excuse me, not me. Entrepreneur. I know a friend who was painted into a corner. Which friend was that dialect coach, Darlington Castle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. That's a very unusual episode.

[Andre P. Neure]

Painted deep into a corner.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was.

[Andre P. Neure]

Couldn't make sense of the.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was like, yes, and here's what you are.

[Andre P. Neure]

And, and, and, and, and, and how about this? So I won't paint him into a corner, but he has seven assistants. A lot of business ideas we're not as strange. But again, successful people don't particularly have.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you may not even know what he's been up to recently.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't, but I know whatever it is it's gonna be good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, he's here to tell us everything about himself. We mentioned him on the last time you were on the show, and we begged you to bring him here. And he's here today. Please, welcome to the show. Appetizer. Pnur.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Thank you for having me. It is not good. Things are not okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Things are not okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

They are not okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute. I thought. She's successful. You're successful.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You thought that, but you thought wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

He has so many assistants, and when.

[Andre P. Neure]

He says thought wrong, he means T. H O T. You thought wrong over there.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Scotty.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Thoughty.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Scotty Thoughty. You mind if I call you that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sweat? Scotty.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Foddy.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Scotty. Fatty.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure I do.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You mind if I say that to you, Scotty?

[Scott Aukerman]

Makes you comfortable, sir. Go have a ball.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Things are not good, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Things are not good.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, Lord. Oh, you see?

[Scott Aukerman]

Appetizer. Pew.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Appetizer, P. Yes, that's right. My mother. Manure. Oh, how I love manure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Manure. Manure. What. What field was she in?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Manure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Manure. What field was manure in?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Gardening.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gardening. Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

She's sick and Andre ain't came to see her.

[Langston Kerman]

Oh, you guys are estranged.

[Appetizer Pnur]

We are.

[Andre P. Neure]

No, I wouldn't say that. I'm busy.

[Appetizer Pnur]

How would you. I'm not.

[Andre P. Neure]

We're not estranged. I'm busy.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Estranged. She didn't even know that Manua was sick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Manure sick.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Throwing up all over the place. And let me tell you, it smells.

[Andre P. Neure]

Smells bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

You didn't know?

[Andre P. Neure]

I heard.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've heard about the way he.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah, he told me some.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I've been taking care of manure, and I had to move back home. I had to. I had to quit all my jobs.

[Andre P. Neure]

I didn't mention to you that my brother. Appetizer here. Before he found his true calling in life, he attempted to be a pastor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you did? Okay, so that's what. You have a certain cadence.

[Langston Kerman]

It's a Martin Luther King sort of vibe.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I dimmed it to be a pastor, but I couldn't do it because I started worshiping the devil.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that. That would get in the way.

[Classic Jarls]

How?

[Langston Kerman]

How did you end up with the devil?

[Appetizer Pnur]

It seems that people at Baptist churches don't like talking about the devil. Yeah, but I tried to convert them.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you were actively trying to convert Christians into Satanism?

[Appetizer Pnur]

That's right. That's right. I tried. I tried and I tried.

[Langston Kerman]

What was it about the devil for you that you like so much?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Boy, have you ever seen the devil in a Pair of dungarees.

[Scott Aukerman]

Low rise jeans.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Old navy bootcut low rise jeans.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you guys are not estranged?

[Andre P. Neure]

I would not say we're estranged. I would not say.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you don't like that?

[Andre P. Neure]

I would not say.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I don't know what you're referring to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'm Scotty, though I think it is someone else.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't. I would not say that we're estranged. Although I have seen the devil in a pair of boot cut jeans. The devil is thick.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, navy low rise boot cut jeans.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the devil is thick. He's got big butt, little tiny waist, big titties. He's got that. That horned tail as well.

[Langston Kerman]

That only adds to it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he's got that triangle we were talking about about at the end of his tail. Yeah, he plays it.

[Appetizer Pnur]

It plays a sweet sound. Scotty, th.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah?

[Appetizer Pnur]

What do you mean by that triangle on his tail? Ring a ding ding Ring a ding ding.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of people thought when the devil went down to Georgia, he wouldn't be playing the fiddle like an electric guitar. He'd be playing his triangle on his tail, you know?

[Appetizer Pnur]

But it didn't sound as good on the record.

[Scott Aukerman]

The original demo Appetite.

[Classic Jarls]

How.

[Andre P. Neure]

How is Mama doing?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Manua is not doing well. And you haven't come to check on her. You haven't come to see her, and you left me there.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does she have?

[Appetizer Pnur]

What does Manua have?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Don't stop.

[Andre P. Neure]

Repeat the question and stop.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Manua has an old, bad disease. She has the jaundice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, she's turning a yellowish color.

[Appetizer Pnur]

She has the itis.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, what did she eat, something you made?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yes, I cooked for her one time and I gave her the itis.

[Langston Kerman]

I didn't know itis. Was that that bad of a disease?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, it is. Oh, it is Langston. You know, I had a friend named Langston once.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did? Who was that?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Who? No, not Langston Hughes. Langston Hardner. Brig. He worshiped the devil with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. You guys were like two peas in a pod.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Two peas and a devil's pod. We called it a devil's triangle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Okay. I think I heard about that recently. The devil's triangle.

[Andre P. Neure]

It's the Illuminati.

[Langston Kerman]

No, that's not.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's a drinking game.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, it's a different thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Andre P. Neure]

Never heard of drinking.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you quit all of your jobs to take care of your mother? What were your jobs?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I had dreams, too, Scotty. I had dreams. I wanted to live up to the family name as Andre did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. The newer Name the new one.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I wanted to live up to the newer name. You see, I had some inventions myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did? You were an inventor?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Imagine this, Scotty. Fatty. Imagine this. You walk into a restaurant and you want to wet your whistle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Appetizer Pnur]

So you get a glass of or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Water. Okay. Yeah.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You want to eat something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Appetizer Pnur]

But you're not ready for what you. What, your main course.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not ready to make the commitment into, like, a big plate.

[Appetizer Pnur]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You want like a. A salad?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Jalapeno papa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please don't start describing small plates to me. Because that's the worst thing about dining in LA is every single restaurant wants to explain the concept of small plates to you. I. I wish I had amnesia sometimes.

[Andre P. Neure]

I. Tapas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tapas are small. He's not doing that.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I ain't never been to. Spain's got.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you know where they come from.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Tapas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Appetizer Pnur]

That's not what I'm talking about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what are you talking about?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I call these bottomless.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, bottomas.

[Langston Kerman]

I'm getting my wallet out. This is exciting.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Get your wallet out.

[Andre P. Neure]

Bottomas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bottomas. So these are like big, big bottomas.

[Andre P. Neure]

Taken for gay men who. Bottom.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Excuse me. You know, I am a satanist man.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't like.

[Appetizer Pnur]

So I believe in that fool.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. So is the. Are these big bottomas?

[Appetizer Pnur]

These are big bottomless. I like big bottomless. I cannot lie to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please don't lie to me.

[Langston Kerman]

I would.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do not want to doubt the veracity of what you're telling me.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Well, I can't talk about this stuff no more because all it does is make me sad because all I got to do is sit at home and take care of manure.

[Andre P. Neure]

Appetizer, please. Tell them a bit about the. Tell them about the inventions. Maybe these. These men have money.

[Langston Kerman]

Can I. Can I ask what.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

What.

[Langston Kerman]

What is the biggest difference between a topas and a bottomless?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I'm going to tell you right now. Langston. I had a friend named Langston once.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we, well, trod territory.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Langston. A tapas. When you're eating tapas, you're in Barcelona. You're in Barcelona.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You have to say it correctly.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sure, sure, sure. Please get to the point. It seems like you're stalling.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Tiny little tacos.

[Andre P. Neure]

That's what he been spending time with. Manua. Manua don't talk much. Kind of. Oh, borderline inanimate. This mother.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Don't talk about our mother like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, she's like a wax figure 90% of the time.

[Andre P. Neure]

She smells like shit.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

Wait, that's the furthest you've gone with curse words?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That's like you went all the way around to home base and then decided to go over to first.

[Andre P. Neure]

That is not curse word. It had one syllable. It's not a curse word.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I can't believe you would say something so cruel and crowd to our mother like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cruel and crowd.

[Andre P. Neure]

Crowd. C C R O WD C R.

[Appetizer Pnur]

O U D. Look it up. It's. It's in a book that I invented. It has a bunch of words in it and I give you the definition.

[Scott Aukerman]

It just has all the words that you know.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many words in this thing?

[Appetizer Pnur]

200.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so crud is pronounced crowd and it means crude.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, got it. Okay, so this is a very useful book.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Get it. You can download it on Amazon, you can download it on Yahoo. Books, and you can also go to Old Navy.com and get your old Navy low rise.

[Langston Kerman]

And is this. Is this book similar to a dictionary?

[Appetizer Pnur]

What'd you say? You know, I had a friend named Lex.

[Langston Kerman]

You did mention that. Is it. Is it similar to a dictionary?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What's it called?

[Andre P. Neure]

App. App. Have you heard of that?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I have never heard of dictionary. You call it sounds like something I don't like.

[Andre P. Neure]

Spell it. Spell. Spell it.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, now you're challenging me in a way that I don't care for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you can spell.

[Appetizer Pnur]

There's I C. Stop right there. Okay, DIC let's break that word down.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not a word, just merely the first syllable, but go ahead.

[Appetizer Pnur]

D. Damn. I, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Damn.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I coming.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Damn.

[Scott Aukerman]

I coming. Okay.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what. Why did you do that?

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

And what?

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah, I don't.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

To what end?

[Langston Kerman]

What were we breaking that down for?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't.

[Andre P. Neure]

Listen, don't cry. Don't.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Can't handle this. There's too much emotions going on right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't crowd him. Don't crowd him. Don't.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Don't be crowd to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't be crud.

[Appetizer Pnur]

See oud he coming. Shy. Shy. Damn. I coming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you're obviously very emotional.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Do you have a towel?

[Andre P. Neure]

I think you need to. A towel, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have many towels here. We always.

[Andre P. Neure]

When you cry, you want a towel?

[Langston Kerman]

Cause damn, I come in. He needed a towel.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

God. Look, I don't know. You're obviously very emotional about this whole situation. Your mother is ill.

[Appetizer Pnur]

It is very hard on me.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've quit all your jobs. I want to hear about more of your old jobs, but we need to take another break. Okay, so when we come back, I want to talk to you about all of your old jobs. You'd had several from what I understand.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I've had several jobs. I tell you about all of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell about all of them. We're going to be right back with more Langston Kirman, more entree pinur and more appetizer peanut after this.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, reaching out to someone that you haven't talked to in a long time, it feels good. I just had lunch with a friend that I hadn't seen in a few years. It was great to reconnect, talk our lives, what's different, all that kind of stuff, you know. And as the seasons change, shorter days don't have to weigh you you down. This season better help encourage use. Encourage use, encourages use guys to reach out to people, you know, check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones, remind them you're here. It just takes a little courage to send that text or grab coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while. But you know what, Reaching out for therapy, that can feel difficult too. But it's oh so worth it. It can leave people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner? And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms. BetterHelp therapists are fully licensed in the US and BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can just focus on your therapy goals. And this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend, reaching out to a therapist or yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Bang Bang. That is betterhelp.com Bang Bang.

[Donut Delivery Person]

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[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Donut Delivery Person]

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[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Oh, no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at t mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them. It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system.

[Donut Delivery Person]

Wow, impressive. Let me try. T mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nice.

[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Jeffrey, you heard them.

[Donut Delivery Person]

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[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Get the new iPhone 17 Pro on.

[Langston Kerman]

Us with eligible traded in any condition.

[Donut Delivery Person]

So what are we having for lunch?

[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Dude, my work here is done.

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang we're back with Langston Kerman, a stand up comedian on the HBO show Insecure and writer in the wga. We also have Entre Pinur, who is an inventor who how much money have you ever made from any of your inventions?

[Andre P. Neure]

Over $50.

[Classic Jarls]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are we talking? 51, 52, 53?

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Stop me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Price is right south. 54, 55, 56, 58 for.

[Andre P. Neure]

It was 60.

[Scott Aukerman]

$60.

[Andre P. Neure]

So I could have just said 60, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

You could. I mean, you could have.

[Andre P. Neure]

I could have, but I said over five.

[Langston Kerman]

You played it coy. I like that.

[Andre P. Neure]

Because I want to be mine. Modest. That's all that is.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have. Speaking of modest, we have someone who comes from modest means. Doesn't seem to be making any money currently he's quit all of his jobs. Appetizer Penur is.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Inventions have never been my thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Appetizer Pnur]

They've always been entrees.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Although you have mentioned several you've thought of.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Because I thought of them, but I didn't put them into action.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Because I, you know, I let her stay in her lane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Would you say you allow her to stay in her lane? How nice of you.

[Langston Kerman]

You say you lack initiative. Is that the issue?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Initiative. Let's break that word down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. All right, what do we got?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Spell it out for me, Lexi. You had a friend named Langston once.

[Langston Kerman]

It's I n. He didn't say stop.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I t. Stop right there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I n. I t. I let's break that down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I I'm t n. You forgot the.

[Langston Kerman]

Skipped a few.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I'm starting. I'm starting backwards and going in and out like A heart.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I I N.

[Scott Aukerman]

N. How is I? I, I, I Is I n Never. I never. I I n. I never. Never in t. T Thought. I never in thought.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I don't think about much. I never thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

I never in thought. Okay, so you're.

[Langston Kerman]

You're.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

You're.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. You live by impulse because I have.

[Appetizer Pnur]

To live by impulse because at any moment my mother could die of the itis.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And yet you're here. Yeah. Because who's taking care of her right now?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Right now? One of my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right now.

[Appetizer Pnur]

The one assistant who is still an intern after 23 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. What are your old jobs? What did you do for a living?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, Scott. But I told you, I was a. I was a pastor.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were a pastor, and then you got kicked out of the church for encouraging Satanism. And then. And then what have you.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

What.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the time span between that and now?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Okay, that was 1968.

[Scott Aukerman]

1968. Okay, so we're talking 50 years. 51 years. At this point, I took the place.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Of a former pastor who unfortunately had to leave the church.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened to the. The pastor?

[Appetizer Pnur]

He was shot.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was shot.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Could have used some of that. Luminol, Windex, Luminex.

[Langston Kerman]

Luminex.

[Andre P. Neure]

You're not making that. Because unless I agree to give you my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think Luminex already exists as well. I think not. Not the actual product, but I think there is something called Luminex. I'm gonna look it up.

[Andre P. Neure]

Are you Googling?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm Googling Luminex. Oh, you know what Google is?

[Andre P. Neure]

Who doesn't know Google?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Do you Google Scotty Fatty?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you Google Googles? Wait, wait.

[Andre P. Neure]

The pastor.

[Scott Aukerman]

You.

[Andre P. Neure]

Huh?

[Langston Kerman]

Did. He did. Who shot this pastor now?

[Appetizer Pnur]

That we don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who shot you?

[Appetizer Pnur]

That we don't know.

[Andre P. Neure]

Tupac in a Biggie. You like music?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Well, you know, it soothes the savage breast.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, it's savage breast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The, you know, big titties, small waist, savage breast.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now, so. So between 1968, which predated the Summer of Love, Woodstock, of course. 1969. Summer of 69, Woodstock, New York.

[Appetizer Pnur]

And I was there.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were there at Woodstock. Did you see Sha Nana?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I did see Shannon and I saw everybody else that performed.

[Scott Aukerman]

So everyone.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Jefferson Airplane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Yeah. From Jefferson Airplane to Sean Ana, everyone at Wisconsin.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Jimmy Hendrix.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

He said his. His. I'm testing you. He said his.

[Appetizer Pnur]

What do you mean he said? He say.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did he set on fire?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, he's at his guitar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, good.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

You were there.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I was there. Who else performed? Orleans.

[Scott Aukerman]

Orleans. Who sang?

[Appetizer Pnur]

They debuted a new song called Dance With Me. It became a hit, and I told him it was going to be a hit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Didn't Orleans sing, You're still the one? They did make me smile.

[Appetizer Pnur]

They did. Did sing that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Another one. Did they sing it at Woodstock?

[Appetizer Pnur]

They didn't sing that one. They hadn't written that one yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

When you were at Woodstock, is. Is that where you found Satan?

[Appetizer Pnur]

That's. That is it. And I came back and I said, church. Church. I got something to show you.

[Andre P. Neure]

At this point, he was just in the house with me and my mother.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Appetizer Pnur]

And I lifted up my pastor's robe and revealed my old navy lowrise boot cut jeans.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And then. Okay, it's a very confusing tale, but what jobs have you had in between then?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I'm getting to that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Long winded, like a pastor and jumping around timelines. Long winded, like past years.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Cut to 1971. That's when they kicked me out of the church after 1969 and 1971. I preached Satanism and they gave me a chance.

[Langston Kerman]

Okay, so they heard you out.

[Scott Aukerman]

They heard me out after one time as the Fugees said they would probably say, hey, you gotta get out of here.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Yeah.

[Andre P. Neure]

Fugees fan, I take it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like that one song.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

One song.

[Appetizer Pnur]

1971, I got a job at a local upstart called Taco Bell.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I. Yeah, this was a newish company.

[Appetizer Pnur]

It's only been around for about five years at the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

And Little Run for the Border. Little Run for the Border. Live mas. Well, fifth meal, Midnight snack is what you call it late night. But I. I got a job there in 1971 and 1974, and then I got kicked out because I started preaching the word of Satan at Taco Bell.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I started saying, what if we had things like chalupas and nacho cheese gordita and rattlesnake fries?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's Satanism.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Satan always eats his french fries covered in rattlesnake. Rattlesnakes. And they said, that'll never work. Now look at where we are 47 years later.

[Scott Aukerman]

Chalupas, nacho cheese gorditas. Gorditas and rattlesnake fries. I don't know what a rattlesnake fry is, I guess.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Is it nacho fries covered in a chipotle sauce and jalapenos?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sort of a Texas Mexico combination almost.

[Appetizer Pnur]

But I. I gave them that idea years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

But in the service. Service of Satan.

[Appetizer Pnur]

In the Service of Satan. 1974 to 1980.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you were. You were off work between. No, no. 71 to 74. You were at Taco Bell. 74 through 80.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Where are you?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I was the backup guitarist for the Eagles.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were backup guitarist? Because they have, like, three who are there in the Eagles themselves, I believe. Don Henley. No, he was a drummer.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Drummer.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you have. Joe Walsh is one of the guitarists. You have Glenn Fry, and then you have Timothy B. Schmidt.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Timothy B. Schmidt. Yeah, he played the bass.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was the bass.

[Appetizer Pnur]

He came after me. He came from the band Pogo.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you were there then? The third guitarist, the fourth guitarist.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I was the fourth lead guitar.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what are some of the licks that you would play? That's in what? Hotel California.

[Appetizer Pnur]

All right. You know. You want to know what lick I got on an album? If you listen to the song Life in the Fast Lake, sure. It goes. No, I didn't play on that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

None of those. Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

The song called One of these Nights.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. One of these, One of these Nights.

[Appetizer Pnur]

In the beginning, it goes. Okay. That was me.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was you. Wow. I love that.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Me and Joe Walsh playing in sweet harmony.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

And what happened was, with the Eagles.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Well, see, I tried to preach Satanism to them.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would think that, you know, with Hotel California being a metaphor for hell.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yeah, they were into it the whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

They loved it.

[Appetizer Pnur]

And then in 1980, they were like, it's the 80s now. We can't be doing this no more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

I'll be honest. It really sounds like Satan was the downfall to a lot of your opportunities.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I don't understand why. Only thing Satan has ever done is keep me in old Navy low rise bootcut Jeep.

[Andre P. Neure]

That sounds bad.

[Langston Kerman]

Even that it doesn't sound like a great pair of jeans. I'll be honest.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, no. Watch me stand up. Look here, Langston.

[Langston Kerman]

My God.

[Appetizer Pnur]

This is called my tramp stamp.

[Classic Jarls]

Oh.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Right above my thought slot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look at that. What is that? What kind of picture is that?

[Appetizer Pnur]

That bear is former President Rutherford B. Hayes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. Okay. Why that?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Because I went to Rutherford B. Hayes High School.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. That makes sense. So you want any time that you're like, well, I guess I don't know what you're into, but being made love.

[Langston Kerman]

To, I think, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. If you're being made love to from behind in that manner, then people are staring at a picture of Rutherford being a bottom up. Yeah.

[Andre P. Neure]

My brother being a bottom up.

[Scott Aukerman]

So your brother's a bottom up and you're sort of asexual.

[Andre P. Neure]

I'm. I'm sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Asexual.

[Andre P. Neure]

I talk on the phone.

[Classic Jarls]

Yeah.

[Langston Kerman]

She talks on the phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, she's calling home.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're getting called. You're calling.

[Andre P. Neure]

Talk on the phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So interesting life that you guys have together from 1980. Sure.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Through 1993.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're getting them all.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I didn't work.

[Andre P. Neure]

Didn't work.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Didn't work at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

How did you.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Everything Scotty thought.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Did you get money?

[Appetizer Pnur]

How did I get money at that time?

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every question doesn't need to be repeated.

[Andre P. Neure]

He st.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I just want to make sure.

[Classic Jarls]

He stalling.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Understanding.

[Andre P. Neure]

Downfall. This is his. I'm gonna. You know what? We have been estranged.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I'm a very old man.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do like it.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I'm a very old man. I can't hear is clear, but I won't respond.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you're repeating it back. Exactly.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I'm just trying to make sure you said what you said.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plot twist. You are estranged.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah. Because.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you like it.

[Andre P. Neure]

That's a good song.

[Appetizer Pnur]

From 1980 to 1993. I must admit, I was living off of my sister's fortunes.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes. And I asked him, I said, your calling is in your name. Your calling is in your name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Appetizer, Penur.

[Andre P. Neure]

What do you think his calling is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Working in the restaurant industry.

[Andre P. Neure]

And he refused.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I refused.

[Scott Aukerman]

You refused. Do you think that kind of work is below you or something beneath me?

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Beneath you.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Beneath my old navy low rise blue cut jeans.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want to do that.

[Andre P. Neure]

But above your thought slot.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Above my thought. In between.

[Langston Kerman]

Where is it in relation to Rutherford behaves Beneath rford.

[Scott Aukerman]

Beneath. Okay. So that's a very narrow window that we're working in.

[Langston Kerman]

It doesn't seem like it's a lot of space at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So you just couldn't fit it back there.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Couldn't fit it. And then in 1993. In 1993.

[Scott Aukerman]

1993, which I believe was pre O.J.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Pre O.J. i, along with O.J. simpson, directed MC Hammer's Bumps in a Bump video.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is how we're contextualizing it for you listeners out there. MC Hammer, by the way, also maybe have the Addams Family groove around.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Around that time. I didn't direct that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Okay.

[Langston Kerman]

When. And did you meet O.J. through Satanism? Is that.

[Appetizer Pnur]

No.

[Langston Kerman]

No. Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I met O.J. at a former NFL player's luncheon. I was there.

[Scott Aukerman]

What were you doing there?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I was taking food out of the trash can behind the place.

[Andre P. Neure]

Embarrassing for me because I was trying to pitch these people businesses.

[Scott Aukerman]

You Were trying to bitch.

[Andre P. Neure]

And then there is my brother taking food out the trash.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I had to eat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Were you only taking, like, jalapeno poppers and chicken strips?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Appetizer Pnur]

That's what they serve at of those things. And O.J. came outside to do a quick bump of cocaine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, quick.

[Appetizer Pnur]

And he said, hey, what are you doing over there? And I said, I'm just trying to get my eat on, player.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he understood, and he was like, hey, how about a job?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yep.

[Langston Kerman]

We should hang out and direct a music video together.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So you directed that? Wow.

[Appetizer Pnur]

We directed MC Hammer's Pumps in a Bump.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pumps in a Bump. So that must have then given you enough money to live for a little while.

[Appetizer Pnur]

At least about 30 days.

[Scott Aukerman]

30 days, yes.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I blew up all at the casino with OJ In a. In Las Vegas, where he was there selling all of his memorabilia to a group of men.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he had been on that train for pre the murders.

[Langston Kerman]

He played the wrong game in that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Appetizer Pnur]

And see, when we got back, this is a year later when we got back, he said, I have to stop in my house real quick.

[Scott Aukerman]

He said, wait, you were in the Bronco?

[Classic Jarls]

What?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Not in the Bronco that night. I had ridden in the Bronco before that night. I was following him in my own car.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in your own car? He stopped off.

[Langston Kerman]

He said, I got to stop. You should follow me and wait outside in order for me to go inside and do something.

[Appetizer Pnur]

The thing is, I had too much pride to ride in the car with him. I told him I brought my own car. It was a nice, tiny yellow and red play school pedal car.

[Andre P. Neure]

And that's what I'm telling you. I. I had invented something different.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you had invented a car.

[Andre P. Neure]

What kind of car did he just describe?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're still calling it a car.

[Andre P. Neure]

Because I'm trying to speak to y' all in a way.

[Scott Aukerman]

We know what a car is.

[Andre P. Neure]

You're stupid. What did you describe?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Appetizer, 1984.

[Andre P. Neure]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Going backwards.

[Classic Jarls]

No, no.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I'm telling you what car I was describing. 1984. Yellow. Yellow and red Play school push car.

[Andre P. Neure]

See, so when I said I came up with my invention, this is what we had been driving around in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. So you had been in something akin to it.

[Andre P. Neure]

Akin. But I had put an engine and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, yeah, yeah. You were like, hey, let's improve on this.

[Andre P. Neure]

Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, right.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Nothing akin to it. Legs akimbo.

[Scott Aukerman]

So now you.

[Andre P. Neure]

Legs akimbo.

[Scott Aukerman]

You saw OJ Go into. Did he come back out after the.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Errand, he came back out with a bag and he said, all right, I got to get to the airport.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I said, okay, you want me to drive you there? He was like, no, I can't fit in your car. And I was like, oh, O.J. and then he what a tale.

[Langston Kerman]

Did I mention what was in the bag?

[Scott Aukerman]

Did he say, no, it was his travel.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You tell people what he told me. I knew he had to travel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, when you go on a plane.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You tell people in your bag.

[Langston Kerman]

You know what, you're right. I'm being unreasonable. Please finish the, the story.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You know, I had a friend named Langston once.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we know.

[Appetizer Pnur]

So unreasonable.

[Scott Aukerman]

So then from 1992 or three.

[Appetizer Pnur]

This is 1994.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, 94. Right. So you're sending me back 94 to, to now.

[Appetizer Pnur]

94 to 2001.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Seven year stretch.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yes, I drove, I, I, I basically became a taxi service.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but you not in an official taxi.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Not an official taxi. Okay, See, that night I did did follow O.J. to the airport and somebody just jumped in my place, cool car and said, quick, downtown. And I said, well, excuse me, I'll give you a hundred dollars.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how quick did you get there?

[Appetizer Pnur]

It took us about three days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you were going downtown, you were going to the pussy of Los Angeles, and so you just thought that was your calling? For a little while.

[Appetizer Pnur]

For a little while, I just took people back, back and forth. Okay, so then from the of Los Angeles, which is downtown, to the titties.

[Andre P. Neure]

Between in the Valley.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And then that tiny, tiny waste, which is the Sunset Strip. Yes. And then 2001, 9 11ish happens. And then what, what do you do until now on 9 12? Okay. I woke up, made some changes, made some changes.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Oh.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I said, you know what, let me just go over here and cook my mouth some dinner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Cuz she's reeling from 9 11.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right. Yeah. And a lot of us were.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yes. And I made her some dinner, and lo and behold, that dinner was the one that gave her the itis.

[Andre P. Neure]

Oh, so she's had the itis all these years.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's had it for now 18 years. And it's because of you. I mean, is this why you're estranged?

[Andre P. Neure]

There are a few things. And this is one for sure, for certain, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a terrible, terrible, terrible situation. I mean, you are the one who did this.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah, he, he, he, and, and it's all because what he didn't do was follow his calling. He should have been Making food.

[Scott Aukerman]

He should have. He should have been a chef or.

[Andre P. Neure]

Something to be a Satanist. A Satanist.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, Satan has gotten in your way for. For now 50 years.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Satan is why I'm here talking to y' all today.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? Yeah, why are you here talking? Or you're repping Satan for some reason?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Repping Satan to the day. I d. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't even know how to spell die. That's one of those three letter words that's taken.

[Langston Kerman]

You should break that one down.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Di. Yeah, gotcha.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's. I mean, we already did part of dictionary D. Damn. Damn. I, I, I. Yeah, coming.

[Appetizer Pnur]

See?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, look, guys, I mean, I don't know. I feel bad for you that you're in this situation, but it is your own fault. And you know, Andre P. No, over here is. She's. She's a very. I mean, I wouldn't say successful businesswoman. Yeah, you're successful in the terms of your. Your happy.

[Langston Kerman]

Passionate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Passionate. Exactly.

[Andre P. Neure]

I said I'm successful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, well, we were trying to say.

[Andre P. Neure]

You were trying other words.

[Scott Aukerman]

We were trying to agree.

[Andre P. Neure]

Call me by my name. Timothy Shack.

[Scott Aukerman]

Salome. Well, okay, so you're a successful woman and you're not so successful, but you're, you know, you're still working on it, Scotty.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Fatty. I'm still working on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, good for you guys.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Still working.

[Scott Aukerman]

Such a. Do you. Do you plan on making up? I mean, maybe it'll take the death of your mother to. For you guys to reunite. I just got a text.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's texting you?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Let's break. Oh, that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

You, you, you. Okay.

[Donut Delivery Person]

Ho.

[Scott Aukerman]

U ho. Oh.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Oh, H. Here.

[Scott Aukerman]

U ho. Oh, here. You ho here. Okay, that's not bad. Yeah, that hoe over there. It's a thought or an O. Okay. Depending on the proximity to the hoe.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so wait, but what is the text?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Mom died.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mom died. Who texted you?

[Langston Kerman]

Did she text me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Your assistant. Oh, your mom's dead. I'm so sorry.

[Andre P. Neure]

This just makes me think of something. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your mom just died.

[Andre P. Neure]

What did you make.

[Langston Kerman]

You don't have any feelings about your mother's death?

[Andre P. Neure]

I haven't seen her in over 20 years. She has had the ITIs for 18. She hasn't spoken in 18 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happened to the two before that?

[Andre P. Neure]

The two before that? I was out making things happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right. Okay, so you're very busy.

[Andre P. Neure]

I'm busy. I'm successful. I don't have time for success.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you don't care that Your mom just died. But it gave you an idea.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't know if I care. I need time to process.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, sure. You're in the middle of Dabda. You're in denial.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes. Elizabeth Kubler Ross would say, uh huh. This is her thing. So I'm in denial right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? You're in denial right now. But it gave you an idea.

[Andre P. Neure]

It gave me an idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

And sometimes necessity is the mother of invention. Invention.

[Andre P. Neure]

Exactly. I don't have a mother now.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry, but necessity.

[Andre P. Neure]

That was insensitive.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like that was very insensitivity. Is the mother. Dick, It's. No, not brother.

[Andre P. Neure]

Will you break down dick?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Let's break it down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Break it down.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Break it down. Dale.

[Scott Aukerman]

Damn. What's G, though?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Gumming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gumming. Damn. I. Gumming.

[Andre P. Neure]

And that's when you suck a dick. Okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

With no teeth in your mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, come on.

[Appetizer Pnur]

With no teeth in your mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Contra. This is more sexual than we planned on it being.

[Andre P. Neure]

No, look, I don't cuss. I haven't said anything wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said once, and you got very offended when I said spit.

[Langston Kerman]

And then you talked about gumming a dick. Just now. You talked about gumming a dick.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't even know what a dick is practically. You said.

[Andre P. Neure]

I heard what it is. And I imagine it would be nice to have gums. Yeah, gums. Gums tend to last. I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's the dream for us men. What is your idea?

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. We're gonna have to get rid of my mother's body. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

The authorities will probably do it.

[Andre P. Neure]

We're gonna have to get rid of my mother's.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is an Illuminex situation. Okay?

[Andre P. Neure]

No. So what if There's a rectangular 3D rectangle. Rectangular kind of contraption?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're talking about a coffin. You're talking about a coffin.

[Andre P. Neure]

Describe that to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a rectangular contraption that you put a dead body in and lower it into the ground.

[Andre P. Neure]

Never heard of it. I know you haven't never heard of it, but if you would hear me out and if you don't want to invest, maybe this man here.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Who?

[Scott Aukerman]

What man?

[Classic Jarls]

Sorry. Hello?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. Hey, Charles.

[Classic Jarls]

Hi there. Yeah, it's me, Charles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Charles. God, we haven't heard from you in a long time.

[Classic Jarls]

Yeah, God, sorry, I've been lost in the building.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Of the fencing instructor, Charles.

[Classic Jarls]

I'm a very patriotic fencing instructor. A very devout Christian, Charles.

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, you got a Satanist here.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Have you ever heard of Satan?

[Classic Jarls]

Yeah, I've heard of him. He's not. Not a great guy, from what I understand.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Boy, do I have something to tell you, child.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you like Old Navy?

[Appetizer Pnur]

Old Navy low rise buka jeans. How do you like those?

[Scott Aukerman]

Low rise and bootcut Old Navy, low rack, sexy combination.

[Langston Kerman]

You want it real heavy at the bottom.

[Classic Jarls]

That's right. Oh, big Michael Jordan fan.

[Andre P. Neure]

One third of the way to thick look.

[Classic Jarls]

Big jeans.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. Charles, do you have money?

[Classic Jarls]

Yeah, you know, I do pretty good.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay. I have an invention I'd like to run past you if you would like to invest in my invention.

[Classic Jarls]

Is it a throat widener?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Charles has a narrow, narrow esophagus.

[Classic Jarls]

Really narrow esophagus. So I gotta push the words out.

[Andre P. Neure]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that meant a throat widener? This is a man with knee. How much would you pay for a throat widener?

[Classic Jarls]

Oh, I mean, like, $100.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Langston Kerman]

That's more than you've ever made, huh?

[Andre P. Neure]

Well, I don't really like to take people's ideas.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's his idea. He wants one.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't want to take people's ideas because that would make me a fraud.

[Classic Jarls]

That's fair.

[Andre P. Neure]

That would make me a fraud. You're very.

[Classic Jarls]

You got a lot of principles.

[Andre P. Neure]

Thank you. A rectangular 3D rectangular contraption that opens. It's on hinges.

[Classic Jarls]

Ooh, like a coffin.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't know what that is, but hear me out. You would put a dead body in it after the body has been covered in embalming flu.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, embalming fluid. But you don't know what a cough is.

[Andre P. Neure]

Heard of it? Heard of it.

[Langston Kerman]

And they're rubbing it on the ass.

[Andre P. Neure]

I've been to a lot of funerals, and you've been to a lot. Yes. Those bodies are just getting put straight in the ground. Just bare.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're just, like, dumping them in there.

[Andre P. Neure]

They're bare.

[Classic Jarls]

Just embalming and then just dump them in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do they bother embalming them if they're just gonna toss them off into a big hole?

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't. I'm not a funeral director, Scott. And you're trying to back.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I was a funeral director for a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, Was this from 2000?

[Appetizer Pnur]

It was right after I cooked my mom food.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Gave her the ITIs in 2001. I said, Mom, I gotta get to a funeral to direct it. I directed it. Like a music video.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yeah, he.

[Scott Aukerman]

He did.

[Andre P. Neure]

We thought he was gonna be a choir director. We did think that at one point, and he said he decided to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you were just, like, doing choreography during the.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I walked into the funeral. I said action.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's more. That's A funeral director does so much more than that.

[Classic Jarls]

I was a funeral producer for a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Did they make money?

[Classic Jarls]

Oh, yeah. Well, you gotta make. You gotta spend money to make money.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. All right, look, we're running out of time, unfortunately. We only have one last feature on the show, and that is a little something called plug. A little something that we call plugs. Ooh, listen to that.

[Langston Kerman]

That was pretty nice.

[Andre P. Neure]

I know it ain't my business, but that was good.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was really good. I almost wish that that had an appetizer P. No style lick at the beginning of that. What was the lick that you did? Appetizer. Oh, Appetizer, Appetizer, Appetizer. Hey, Appetizer, appetizer.

[Andre P. Neure]

He's lost his phone, literally.

[Classic Jarls]

I wonder what he's thinking about.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry.

[Appetizer Pnur]

I was reading the text from my assistant. She says manure is leaking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, wait, you have another sister soaking wet? Who's your sister? Lean. She soaking wet?

[Appetizer Pnur]

She's leaking.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's soaking wet. She's leaking.

[Appetizer Pnur]

She's soaking wet. I told her to shake her like a salt shaker.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, okay.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Very sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, look, we got a plug. Langston, what do you got to plug? You got some dates coming up.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come. Come to. To Grand Rapids, Michigan. I don't know where the shows are, but I'll be there this weekend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where do people find information? I don't. I think that'll be passed, but sure.

[Langston Kerman]

At length. Langston Kerman on Twitter and Instagram, that's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where people find info about the shows. You're out there all the time. Entre Andree.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't have some dates coming up. I'm very single. So slide into my DMs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meaning call you?

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Langston Kerman]

Well, no, they gotta work up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay, so wait, it's. First base is sliding into the DMs.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's second base? We established third base is you calling them, and home plate is them calling you.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay, so we're trying to quit.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's in between? Sliding in the DMs and run that.

[Andre P. Neure]

By me one more time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Sliding in the DMs is first.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. You calling them is third. Them calling you is home. Okay, so what's second?

[Andre P. Neure]

Second is scoring position Is. Is a picture of genitalia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Sending you dick pics?

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so you've never seen one?

[Andre P. Neure]

Because Instagram will blur it out if you don't know the person.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you don't Click on anything.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't. I don't click.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you don't click. But you've achieved second base.

[Andre P. Neure]

I've achieved second. I have received a dick pic.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Andre P. Neure]

Anything you want to plug, you should follow a girl. A girl. Her name is Ego. On Instagram. Eggieboom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Eggie Boom.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Any underscores in that? Or is it just.

[Andre P. Neure]

We've all heard about the underscore. Let us never forget on Twitter, the. There is an underscore between.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the taint of Instagram.

[Andre P. Neure]

The taint of Instagram. But on Twitter, it is even worse.

[Classic Jarls]

Than having to add the real to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your name or official.

[Andre P. Neure]

Or numbers. Or numbers. That is ugly. Stop with the numbers and username if you're not a child.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay, but Eggie Boom. Follow this woman.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay, but on Twitter, it's eggyboom. Esther Wilson, who doesn't use Twitter, has eggieboom without the underscore. Esther, give it up. I will not pay you for the. It ain't that deep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why does. Why doesn't this woman just use her own name instead? Eggy Boom.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't. I want to ask her what the significance of Eggy Boom is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, boy. Someday we'll get to the bottom of this one day. Someday we'll go downtown on this.

[Andre P. Neure]

Yes. Also come to Austin Sketch Fest. That girl AA will be headlining with her one woman show. Scott, are you gonna come check out her one woman show once and for all? Great black women?

[Scott Aukerman]

And then where is this happening?

[Andre P. Neure]

It's happening. Austin, Texas, at Austin Sketchfest in May.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't have any plans to go to Austin, unfortunately. And even if it were just right down the street from me, I can't even say that I would come.

[Andre P. Neure]

This is a disappointing dad. This man is a disappointing father.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, appetizer, what do you want to plug?

[Appetizer Pnur]

I would like to plug the Church of Satan, Christ and Latter Day Taints.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Andre P. Neure]

You're going to get a lot of messages from the Mormons.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Who are they?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I want to plug. We're trying to get more farts and procreation vinyl records out there. They sold out within a couple hours. We're going to get a few more out there in a different color vinyl from what I understand. And I'll let you know when those are on sale. And classic Jarls, anything to plug, man.

[Classic Jarls]

I'm excited about that final album. I finally got my clothes and play out of Hawk. You're what out of Hawk. My clothes and play. My Hasbro clothes and play. Play clothes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And play. Okay, yeah. Closing play.

[Classic Jarls]

I had to trade my trumpet for it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Classic Jarls]

I can't use the trumpet anyway because.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of my small esophagus. What if you shoved it down your esophagus? It might widen it up.

[Classic Jarls]

How dare you?

[Langston Kerman]

More sexual than we thought.

[Andre P. Neure]

I don't mean to overstep, Jaws, but I'm dying to ask you, would you say your esophagus is thick?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what we mean by that. Big butt, Big butt, tiny waist, big butt.

[Andre P. Neure]

Always two Cs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Classic Jarls]

I guess you could describe it that way.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Let's break that down.

[Andre P. Neure]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come on now. T, T, T. The. The ho. The ho is. Is C. Coming, Coming, coming, coming. Okay, good.

[Appetizer Pnur]

She's really coming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Speaking of coming.

[Appetizer Pnur]

She's really coming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Speaking of coming. The closing up. The plug bag theme is coming. Let's close it up. Here we go.

[Andre P. Neure]

And open up that bag. Close your eyes. Open up.

[Classic Jarls]

Don't be closing. Don't be closing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Open up.

[Classic Jarls]

And let's get loaded.

[Andre P. Neure]

I can't not say this. That was like the sicko mode of the plug song. Several different tunes in one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you familiar with sicko mode, Travis? Yes. My good boy. My good boy, good boy, Travis. Guys, I want to thank you so much. Langston, it's always great to see you. What a pleasure. Let's not make it another year. Yeah, I know we're both successful, but, you know, we got to see each other more entrepreneur. So great to have you. Do you have any other siblings? I'd love for you to come back with some other people.

[Andre P. Neure]

Pleasure is mine. I'll think about whether I want to announce their names on the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I would assume that Dessert P. No. Dessert.

[Andre P. Neure]

Dessert P. No. We got sports P, Noor, sports, Pinur. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now manure is gone and stinking up the place.

[Andre P. Neure]

Panur died years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Panur. Yes. And appetizer. Pinur. So good to meet you. Thank you. You're still checking those texts? A lot of stuff coming in.

[Appetizer Pnur]

It's a busy day.

[Scott Aukerman]

I understand. And, Charles, always great to see you.

[Classic Jarls]

At Classic Jarls on Twitter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Classic Jarls]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I haven't seen that.

[Classic Jarls]

Been there a while. Don't really tweet much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you're lost in the building.

[Classic Jarls]

It's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Mazda.

[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Once you discover the Mazda CX5 Mazda, it doesn't take long to get it. With standard all wheel drive, a premium interior, and advanced safety features, it's an SUV that gives you more at every turn, it will have you saying Mazda. The Mazda CX5. It's made to move you.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Every Mazda SUV offers you an elevated driving experience and refined performance. Discover it at your local Mazda dealer today.

[Andre P. Neure]

Holiday PSA from dsw. This is your reminder that shoes are a gift.

[Scott Aukerman]

Literally.

[Andre P. Neure]

So unwrap something good, like boots that inspire your next big adventure. Or cozy, slippery slippers that give you an excuse to stay in. Or sneakers that feel like pure joy.

[Jeff Bridges (Character)]

Because shoes aren't just shoes.

[Andre P. Neure]

They're exactly what you wanted. Let us surprise you so you can surprise them. Find shoes that get you and everyone on your list at prices that get your budget at dsw stores or dsw.com.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Hi.

[Appetizer Pnur]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

It's Jason.

[Langston Kerman]

Yeah, my name is Jason.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Sure. And I do a podcast called Smart List.

[Scott Aukerman]

And here's the good My name is Sean. We're gonna do it by yourself or.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

No other people.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

I got a couple, couple of ding.

[Langston Kerman]

Dongs to do it with me sometimes.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

But I'm going to bring these fools out on the stage at the Hollywood Bowl November 15th. You guys, please show up.

[Langston Kerman]

It would be so awkward if it was empty.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Where can they get tickets at smartlist. Com live. Please buy a ticket.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can go now. Bye bye.

[Scott Aukerman (Producer/Host)]

Bye.