Bonus Bang: UnbeWiebeble: Kayla Dickie Returns (Flula Borg, Shaun Diston, Lily Sullivan, Tim Baltz)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: Bonus Bang – UnbeWiebeble: Kayla Dickie Returns

Released April 9, 2026
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests/Characters: Flula Borg, Shaun Diston (as Sprague the Whisperer), Lily Sullivan (as Kayla Dickie), Tim Baltz (as Judd Wiebe)

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Episode Overview

This re-released “Bonus Bang” episode from the Comedy Bang Bang archives features the return of fan-favorite character Kayla Dickie and continues her outrageously bizarre saga. The episode assembles a particularly absurd group: Scott Aukerman, German comedian Flula Borg, character actor Shaun Diston as Hollywood “producing manager” Sprague the Whisperer, Lily Sullivan returning as the eccentric Kayla Dickie, and Tim Baltz debuting as the infamous Judd Wiebe. Expect improvisational chaos, wild narrative twists, and sharp, rapid-fire humor satirizing small-town dramas, polyamory, Hollywood culture, and America’s truck obsession.

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Main Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Flula Borg’s Hype Man Origins & Podcast Banter

• Flula shares his accidental rise from a techno DJ to “unintentional” comedian (05:16), describing his career path:

  "I was a techno DJ, and then people started to hire me for other events. I'm not a comedian. It's unintentional. Most Things, you know, it's like accidental duties." – Flula Borg (05:21)

• Hilarious riffing on American grocery stores, supermarket chains (Johns vs. Vons), Coke/Pepsi conspiracy, and Southern culture references (“Cheerwine,” “Chicken & Dumplings”) (09:10–10:22).
• Flula’s work on the Boss Baby: Back in Business Netflix series is lampooned:

  "I'm Mega Fat CEO Baby. I have been invented from the thin air of two people on drugs." – Flula Borg (11:20)

Key segment: Flula’s extended bit about where to get his podcast, listing grocery stores across the US at (08:23).

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2. "Sprague the Whisperer": The Hollywood Manager Parody

• Shaun Diston enters as "Sprague the Whisperer," an absurd, mustachioed manager who “whispers to powerful people.” He details a niche specialty in "ninja" projects and describes projects like a “Three Ninjas Continue” sequel and a “Silver Lake Ninja” reboot for Bobby Moynihan.

  "You have a great memory for a lot of these details that I... I guess, as a manager, forgot." – Sprague (15:31)

• Platonic and adversarial manager/client banter, Hollywood packaging jokes, and a surreal pitch for a “Double Team” reboot with Scott and Kevin Durant (17:08–23:25).

Memorable moment:
Flula improvises into being cast as the PA on the fake student film reboot, doing it “for the college credit” (19:45).

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3. The Return of Kayla Dickie: Plot Recap and Update

• Kayla reappears, now introducing herself as a married woman versus her last appearance as simply “a girlfriend” to Cart, the guy with the biggest truck in town.
• The group revisits the strange specifics: Cart’s enormous trucks, his comically small “dice-shaped” penis, and the sexual dynamics of their town (27:22–27:39).
• Twist: Kayla did not marry Cart but instead reconnected with the infamous, long-missing Judd Wiebe (30:33).

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4. The Saga of Judd Wiebe

• Judd Wiebe’s Bizarre Backstory:
  • Former mayor of Montrose, Colorado, who went missing after burning down the town in a curling iron mishap.
  • Survived for 7.5 years in the mountains by killing a “bear” (possibly a man in a bear suit) on day one, then living inside its decomposing body, for warmth and hiding from authorities (43:05–44:43).

  "I killed a bear for warmth and I crawled inside it… Like Leonardo DiCaprio." – Judd Wiebe (43:21)

• Judd describes a “Bear Bass Festival,” where it’s unclear whether true bears or men in suits play upright bass (46:14–46:24).
• Kayla and Judd, after a chance trash rendezvous (and quickie in the trash among sharp objects), reunite and gather his nine former assistants—forming a polyamorous “sister wives” arrangement (59:31–68:08).
• Judd’s penis is also small (“half a domino, flat side down”), but apparently “gets it done” (69:45–69:57).

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5. Bombshells, Revelations, and Colorado Mayhem

• Kayla reveals she’s pregnant—potentially by either Judd or her ex, Cart (now “Tark”), who upgraded to the legendary Ford Rock Hard 450 (70:28–73:02).

• The group detours into a Maury-style DNA reveal, confirming Judd is NOT the father, but his DNA matches the ongoing “Colorado Bear Killer” case; he may have committed up to 43 (possibly accidental) murders while on the run (76:16–77:18).

  “But according to this, the authorities have been searching for this guy because there are 43 human beings that have been killed out there up on the Chudweeby Trail.” – Scott Aukerman (77:07)
  “But were they… Is there bear DNA mixed in with it?” – Judd (77:18)

• Emotional confusion ensues: Kayla doesn’t know if Judd can provide what Tark can (meaning bigger trucks), and Judd’s attempts to win her back now hinge on his ability to pre-order the next-level Ford Rock Hard 550 (81:07).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Scott poking fun at podcast form:

  “If you’ve never heard the show, basically, I have two, three, one guests, sometimes all from various fields, from entertainment to other, and we are really running the gamut.” (03:23)

• On manager packaging deals:

  “The packaging is what the agents do… I love it when the agents make way more than we do on any project.” – Scott (20:19–20:29)

• Judd on survivng in a bear suit:

  “How soon did that happen? …Day one. That would have happened. Day one.” – Judd (43:28–43:35)

• On small penises and big trucks:

  “There’s never been a person with a medium to large penis who’s bought a big truck like that.” – Scott (40:00)

• Reunion with Judd in trash:

  “Yeah, so I climbed down from my apartment and we just fucked right there in the trash…” – Kayla (59:31)

• Revelation that her ex (Cart) is now “Tark” and possibly the real baby daddy once he gets the even bigger truck:

  “Tark picked me up to give me a ride over to baked in Montrose to get some croissants… and let’s just say I’m like covered in flour and dough.” – Kayla (71:38–72:11)

• Judd’s alleged bear-murders:

  “According to this, the authorities have been searching for this guy because there are 43 human beings… up on the Chudweeby Trail.” – Scott (77:07)

• Hollywood’s response to outlandish behavior:

  “Look, my agency can protect you from the law. …Put on this ninja costume.” – Sprague (78:06–78:20)

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Important Timestamps

• 04:42 – Flula Borg arrives; career discussion
• 12:46 – Sprague the Whisperer enters; ninja movie Hollywood parody
• 25:42 – Kayla returns; reveals split from Cart and move to marriage
• 36:38 – The legend of Judd Wiebe recapped
• 43:05 – Judd describes Bear survival; confusion about actual bear vs. bear-suited human
• 59:31–68:08 – Kayla, Judd, and the polyamorous “sister wives” arrangement
• 70:28 – Kayla reveals pregnancy, not sure who the father is
• 76:16 – DNA/murderer revelation; Judd is the “Bear Killer”
• 81:07 – Judd promises to “pre-order the Ford Rock Hard 550”
• 85:34 – Plugs segment
• 90:08 – Closing confusion over who’s with whom, who’s really pregnant, and future guest appearances

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Thematic & Tonal Notes

• The episode’s humor is layered, self-aware, absurd, and heavily improvisational, riffing on American cultural tropes (trucks as masculinity, polyamorous cults), Hollywood inside jokes, small-town scandals, and surreal sexual dynamics.
• Callback humor abounds (previous guest appearances, penis/truck size correlation, Judd's ongoing fugitive status).
• The energy is fast, loose, and enthusiastic, with the cast working together to escalate the story’s ridiculousness throughout.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t heard earlier Kayla Dickie episodes, this episode stands out as a high-water mark for CBB’s character-driven, longform improv. You’ll get wild, character-based storytelling, skewering of both small-town America and showbiz, quick-witted gamesmanship, and countless laugh-out-loud moments. Consider this episode a master class in absurd escalation and callback comedy.

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Next Steps / Follow-Ups

• For even more Kayla Dickie: Seek out previous “Bonus Bangs” to hear Kayla’s origin story.
• Future episodes may feature: Tark/Cart, the “sister wives,” more Judd, and possibly the long-lost Merg up on the “Merv Griffin Trail.”
• Follow cast on social media for more improv/character work.

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Summary Table

| Time | Segment | Summary | |-----------|---------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:42 | Flula Borg arrives | German DJ/comic discusses career and podcast | | 12:46 | Sprague the Whisperer arrives | Satire of talent management and ninja-content pitches | | 25:42 | Kayla Dickie returns | Recaps her new status (married!); wild break from Cart | | 36:38 | Judd Wiebe’s legend | Fire, exile, and living in a bear suit/bear costume | | 59:31 | Reunion, quick marriage, polyamory twist | Kayla & Judd resume a relationship, bring in 9 “sister wives”| | 70:28 | Pregnancy twist; who’s the daddy? | Uncertainty over paternity – new competition with “Tark” | | 76:16 | DNA/murder reveal | Judd is the infamous “Bear Killer” fugitive | | 85:34 | Final plugs and closing confusion | Promos, more in-character chaos, tease future stories |

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This episode is a prime Comedy Bang Bang showcase: relentless, off-the-wall, joke-dense, and rich in bizarre character mythology—perfect for devoted listeners and improv comedy fans alike.

Transcript

[A]

Ready to binge your next crime thriller? Sean Bean stars in this City Is Ours on amc. When a drug kingpin steps down from the throne, loyalty turns lethal. Dubbed the Scouse Sopranos see one family's fight for power over the gritty streets of Liverpool.

[B]

Rolling Stone UK calls it a firecracker

[A]

of a series you don't want to miss. This City Is Ours now streaming on AMC.

[C]

Learn more at amcplus.com

[A]

America's Best Network just got bigger.

[C]

Switch to T Mobile today and get

[A]

built in benefits the other guys leave out plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores. Best mobile network based on analysis by Google of speed test intelligence data 2H 2025 bigger network the combination of T Mobile's and US cellular network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees applied. See t mobile.com for details. Hey everyone. Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another bonus bang where we are re releasing great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang out from behind the Paywall. Now this week's bonus bang is the first episode in a series we are calling A Quickie with Kayla Dickey. And it's ironic because I think we have quite maybe two months that we're doing this, so it's not so quick. But these episodes go by quick. This is a series, okay, where we are showcasing episodes featuring the character Kayla Dickey played of course by a member of the 84 Timers Club, Lily Sullivan, soon to be 85, I believe. This episode is called Unbelievable Kayla Dickey Returns. Now this is the sequel to the first Kayla Dickey appearance which we have in the bonus bangs in the last year. You can go back and look that one up. This one was Originally released on March 13, 2019 as episode 591, very close to 600. In addition to Kayla Dicke, our guests include, of course, German comedian Flew Le Borg. Then we have Sprague the Whisperer, played by Sean Disston. And finally, Kayla Dickey introducing us to her new husband, Jed Weeby, played by Tim Baltz. Not Dim Baltz Boy, if he hears this, I'm in trouble. Tim Baltz playing Judd Weeby. If you enjoy this and you want to hear other great episodes of Comedy Bang Bang as well as other shows like CBB Presents, Scott hasn't Seen the Neighborhood Listen and College Town. Become a [e-mail] we have all of the past episodes from the CBB archives. Every live show ad Free new episodes and even more original shows. We're going to be back Monday with a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang. But until then, enjoy this bonus bang. Nsync or not all. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hello, welcome to. Welcome to.

[D]

And also.

[A]

Thank you. But let's welcome him as well. Placate the muse for that wonderful catchphrase submission. And welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another episode. And this is very exciting. We have an incredible show. If you've never heard the show, basically, I have two, three, one guests, sometimes all from various fields, from entertainment to other, and we are really running the gamut. Yes, I almost said running the gambit. That would not be correct. But we're running the gambit. Today we have an entertainer. We have. A little bit later, we have a producing manager from the Mosaic firm. And a little later on the show, we have a wife. Oh, that's exciting. Someone who is a wife. Okay. But before we get to them, let's get to our guest of honor. He is our returning champion. I believe. This is his third episode of the show, I think. Is that correct? Do I have my stats right?

[D]

Yes. I've just checked the tattoos under my clavicle. This is my third time.

[A]

Scott Alkerman, you have three teardrops under there.

[D]

Yes, yes. All connected.

[A]

It looks just like a puddle, but I could tell it was three teardrops.

[D]

You can see it, right? If you get very close.

[A]

Please welcome back to the show. He is a very funny comedian. You may have seen him out there opening for Conan o' Brien on his recent tour. Please welcome back Flula Borg.

[C]

Hello, Flula.

[D]

Oh, hello to you. Hello, Cbee.

[A]

Before Live for Life. Thank you so much. That's longer than I'm going to do it.

[D]

Stop it. You have a retirement plan?

[A]

Well, I don't have a retirement plan, but I don't think. Well, who knows? Please don't play this clip in my funeral. But I don't think that I will die while still doing the show. I hope not.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

How terrible would that be that just. This is the last episode. And then I was like, well, let's pack it up, guys. He's gone.

[D]

This is dark skies.

[A]

It's too dark.

[D]

No, it's very German.

[A]

I'm into it. Thank you.

[D]

Go as deep as you like.

[A]

You are German. You are a German comedian now. American comedian or a German? How do you.

[D]

I was a techno dj, and then people started to hire me for other events. I'm not a comedian. It's unintentional. Most Things, you know, it's like accidental duties.

[A]

You were a techno DJ in Germany and you were spotted at a club.

[D]

Yes, Spotted a club. And then someone from that was Club Sporting told me you should apply for a hype man contest.

[A]

Hype man contest?

[D]

Yes. I did not know what it was. In German, it's pronounced Tupiman, so I didn't know what it was.

[A]

Is it sort of like the Apprentice where if you won, you got to be a hype man for some. Oh, you got to be president.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

No, if you win, is yours. A man who comes before, you know, Little John, goes in, is very large on the stage. You're the man that makes everyone very warm.

[A]

Yes, I know what a hype man is. He's the person who comes out onto the stage and goes, I'm not even gonna do an impression. No, no, I'm not gonna play. You're trying to trap me into doing an impression of. And I'm not gonna fall for Flula. But the person who comes out previous to the main rapper and tries to pump the crowd up.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And then occasionally, double main rapper.

[D]

Yes. If you've heard any Cypress Hill song, it's the man that says A to

[A]

the K or Insane in the Brain, echoing what the. The main rapper underscoring the important points.

[D]

He's like a highlighter in a rap song if the rap song was a book.

[A]

So. But I guess my question is, is if you were to win, was they. Was there a certain rapper that you would then become the hype man for?

[D]

Yes, but they cancelled everything. The business. It was Scion. Do you know the automobile Scion?

[A]

Yes, I do.

[D]

Of course, it was sponsored by Scion, so I was a champion. And then Scion. No more business for us and no more hype man for us. No tour. So they just gave me $3.

[A]

$3. So $3.

[D]

The accent really affects.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. How many of the free dollars did you get?

[D]

I got. Well, taxes and everything. 18.

[A]

Okay. Yes. I had to fly home, presumably about 24. If you take about a quarter of it out for taxes, give or take.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So in that end, a star was born. Yes.

[D]

Lady Kaka. Yeah.

[A]

I would love to see you in a remake of A Star Is Born, where you're out there doing techno DJing at a. And I don't know what you're into, but whatever you would view as a sexual partner would come over whomever. Sure. Maybe you're into objects.

[D]

Wait, are you following my Instagram stories currently?

[A]

Scott, I must confess. Yes, I'm a fan.

[D]

I am 30 minutes into my star respawn remake featuring me and a Sequoia.

[A]

Okay, good. Now, Flula, you have a podcast called Boom Time. I believe you were on the show a few months back here and we talked and ever since then I was itching to get on it and I got in there.

[D]

Thank you so very much for getting in there, Scott Auchman. It was a highlight of my life. I'm incredibly excited. I'm sending you as many dollars as you are requesting after the show is payment.

[A]

Thank you so much for that.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Where can people get this? At the normal podcast outlets, down at the podcast store.

[D]

At the podcast store at the Harris Teeter, if you are in North Carolina, at the Dominick's, if you are in Chicago, at the Vons or the Johns in Los Angeles, and also itunes.

[A]

The thing about Johns, by the way, if you don't live in Los Angeles, maybe you haven't seen a John's Market out there. They're just old Vons and they bought some Js.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

It's such a scam.

[D]

It is a scam. Someone was telling me about Johns. They said, wear a full metal jacket and also a helmet as you enter. John's is a tough place.

[A]

It is a tough place. But I tell you, I don't know what came first. Whether they had a deal with a letter factory where they're like, we don't use these Js.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Or whether they went to the letter factory afterwards and said, look, which one of these letters would you replace? Should it be vans or should it be John's? Yeah, we'll go with John's. And they said, we'd have never used these J's.

[D]

Here, take them.

[A]

But it's such a scam.

[D]

I don't understand.

[A]

You're just walking into a Vons.

[D]

I must ask you, Scott, if you know this, you know Adidas and Puma are just two brothers who are like, we're in a fight. Time for two different shoes.

[A]

I didn't. Are they the same company?

[D]

They were the brothers. They split.

[A]

They were brothers. I didn't know that.

[D]

They're like, oh, fighty, fighty. I'm from Erlangen, which is very close to the headquarters of this, of course, is Johns and Vons. Like two bros who had, like, fight about Twinkies prices.

[A]

I wonder. I wonder if they're the same company. You know, there's that rumor spelled with a U because of our guest here.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That Coke and Pepsi are the same company that they just have a rivalry. They split into two and have a rivalry in order for to trick the public into thinking there is only a choice between these two. Coke and Pepsi when there's so many other cola. It could be any other cola, but it's like, no, no, it's gotta be Coke or Pepsi. Coke or Pepsi. But it's the same thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

We want third party. I want some Cheerwine.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Have you had this?

[A]

Yes, I have. I love Cheerwine. Yes. Me as well. Down in the South.

[D]

Oh, so down South.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm obsessed with the south currently, Scott, so I like Harris, Tita and Cheerwine references.

[A]

Thank you so much. Do you have any other in the bank here?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Chicken and dumplings. Go grab those at your Cracky Barrel.

[A]

Thank you so much. Flula. For those, please pepper the entire proceedings today with some of that Southern charm.

[D]

Yes. And by pepper, you mean biscuits and gravy.

[A]

Thank you so much. Yes, I will. Flula. Do you have anything out there this year? Last we spoke to you was 2018. Suddenly it's 2019. Smash cut to 2019. What is Falula up to?

[D]

Terrifying. I know I'm having many strange projects. Currently rewriting a Star Response, starring, as I said before, me and a giant fur or sequoia. We are still in the casting process. And then also you may see me in Boss Baby Back in Business on Netflix. It's a voice and boom time. Boom time on the podcast.

[A]

The Boss Baby is back in business. Oh, he's back.

[D]

He went away and then he returns.

[A]

He's back and better than ever. Oh, well, we talked. Like, movie pass. Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah, like, movie pass.

[A]

That's incred. Is the Boss Baby cast still the same or is it all, like, knockoffs?

[D]

Oh, it's all. Well, I'm in it, so, you know, it's all knockoffs, Scott. So you knew that before you questioned

[A]

who originally did the part that you're doing?

[D]

Nobody. I'm Mega Fat CEO Baby.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

I have been invented from the thin air of two people on drugs.

[A]

But who is the Boss Baby now? Who does that role?

[C]

Oh, it's a man.

[A]

Just a man.

[D]

JP Carliak.

[A]

He sounds like JP Carlyak and he sounds unnaturally like Alec Baldwin.

[D]

No, he's just. He's so dope and tasty. He's like. It's like if there were two worlds, you know, like with the butterflies when the effect.

[A]

The butterfly effect.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Two Boss Baby worlds. This one is equally delicious, but different.

[A]

Oh, so it's in a parallel Universe in a parallel. Sorry, boss. Baby verse.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Baby verse.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's incredible. So people should watch that right now.

[D]

Of course. Right away, as you're doing it. Scott, what are you up to currently, other than this bad boy?

[A]

Oh, come on. Now. I know you're an interviewer, but I was on your show already, and I talked about what I was up to. So just everyone listen to that episode if you want to hear what I'm up. But no one cares about me. They care about our guests. They care about the interaction and hearing about you. Ah, okay, cool.

[D]

That's great time.

[A]

It is a great time.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Tell you what, Fula, can you stick around the entire show and be. I refuse to leave. I love to have you right here at my right elbow. I really appreciate that, because we have several guests to get to today, so we have to get to them. We have our next guest. He is a. A producing manager at Mosaic, the comedy management. Are you represented at Mosaic?

[D]

No, but just hearing these first utterances makes me want to switch representation.

[C]

I tried to sign you, Flula, and you weren't well. Scott, continue.

[A]

Step out of the shadows and take off that cloak. Who You.

[C]

Hello. I am Sprague, the Whisperer.

[A]

Sprague, the Whisperer. You're back. I remember you.

[C]

How are you? Good to you.

[A]

See?

[C]

See you.

[A]

You were on an episode last year.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Oh, wait a minute. I think that you two were both on the same episode, weren't you?

[C]

Yes, we met last year.

[D]

The raven that I received. That was you?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

I sent you a requesting representation, and

[C]

of course, you said you already were represented, and I couldn't whisper to you, so I thought, you know, maybe I just work the relationship. Maybe you then fire your manager. You come to me.

[A]

What an interesting vowel choice on relationship you just had.

[C]

What I say. Relationship. Relationship. I've got an interesting accent, Scott.

[A]

You do an interesting accent for an interesting person. That's what the show is all about.

[C]

It's all about interesting people.

[A]

Scott Sprague, the Whisperer. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Refresh our memory.

[C]

Well, of course, Scott, I'm a producing manager at Mosaic, and I also whisper to powerful men and women in the industry.

[A]

That's right. I believe we first found out that you were a whisperer, whispering into the ears of powerful people. And then it came out that you were a manager.

[C]

Well, it didn't come out. You know, of course, I'm always represented. You know, signed the deals, and of course, I've got many clients. But Scott and Don't you.

[A]

Don't you primarily work within the ninja milieu?

[C]

Well, Scott, look, I'm at Mosaic, and right now I was given another interesting vowel choice, Scott. I was given a folder with a bunch of ninja projects, and I'm in charge.

[A]

Are you Bill Sykes suddenly? What the hell?

[C]

Is that from Oliver? Oh, no, no, that's. Of course.

[A]

Okay, that's crazy. Crazy. That would be crazy.

[C]

That would be insane.

[A]

So, yes, I have some bad news to report. You do?

[C]

I lost a client recently, Scott.

[A]

Oh, no. I mean, that happens a lot for managers. You lose a client, get a client.

[C]

Huge client.

[A]

Oh, no. Who did you lose?

[C]

I lost Bobby Moynihan.

[A]

Bobby Moynihan?

[C]

Yes, I lost Bobby Moynihan. I lost him.

[A]

Is that because you could never pronounce his last name?

[C]

He said, it's not my last name. I said Bobby Mooney had. And look, Scott, I wanted him to do a drunk uncle podcast, and I wanted his sidekick to be a ninja. Of course, of course.

[A]

And you run down your ninja, your previous ninja projects. What have you been involved in, please?

[C]

Well, first of all, Flula, if you remember, I have something in pre pro. It's three ninjas. Continue. And it's three separate generations of the three ninjas.

[A]

It's three ninjas with three on the way, as I recall.

[C]

Yes, three on the way. Scott, you have a great memory for a lot of these details that I. I guess, as a manager for God.

[A]

Well, as I recall, the end of the movie was the.

[C]

The.

[A]

The main movie stars, the sons of the previous three ninjas, of course, all grown up. And now. And they have girlfriends, and their girlfriends

[C]

come in and say, we're pregnant with ninjas. Roll credits, roll credits. And then post credit scene, they give birth, and then the baby kicks the doctor in the face.

[A]

Right. And then the three ninjas and their three offspring will return, of course.

[C]

And it's kind of like a Thanos throw forward, you know, like in the Marvel Universe. And I've also worked on Beverly Hills Ninja.

[A]

Beverly Hills Ninja.

[C]

That was a good one. That one I was trying to change to just Silver Lake ninja, make it a little more current, you know?

[A]

Sure.

[C]

Los Feliz Ninja. Yeah, a little bit more, you know, be a little chill. And I was going to have Bobby Moynan in that.

[A]

Oh, you.

[C]

I. I was like, look, Mohan, I want you to be Chris Farley's ninja character, but you're living near that, like, really nice Thai restaurant everyone likes in Silver Lake. Yes.

[A]

So wait a minute. You wanted him to do a drunk uncle podcast as a ninja character from.

[C]

That's a separate project.

[A]

Oh, it's separate. Two separate things.

[C]

Oh, you gotta catch up, baby. In the industry. We're moving fast, my man.

[A]

Maybe this is why I've never been able to quite make it, Scott.

[C]

Now, of course, I'm always looking for new clients.

[A]

Scott, I. You know, I'm UTA fam.

[C]

I know you're UTA fan, but of course those are your agents. And now, Scott, you know, I do have a project for you in the future. That's true, Scott.

[A]

A feature.

[C]

A feature.

[A]

Oh my goodness.

[C]

Film, Scott.

[A]

Wow. 90 minutes or above? I think. I think maybe 82 is the cut off for a feature, but yes.

[C]

What is it? 82?

[A]

I think it's 84. 84, okay.

[D]

Yeah, I like the Olympics.

[C]

Like the Olympics.

[A]

Oh, I remember them well. They ran right by my house.

[D]

Maybe Lou going so I could continue. Whisperer, please tell more about this film.

[C]

This film, Scott.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Is a reboot.

[A]

I'm whispering now.

[C]

Of course you have to whisper.

[E]

What?

[C]

I'm whispering.

[A]

Oh, Scott, it's a reboot of what have.

[C]

Do you remember the Van Damme film, the Quest?

[D]

No.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah, Flula speaks for me.

[C]

You don't remember it?

[B]

I don't remember the Quest.

[C]

Okay, okay, let me pivot. I'll pivot, I'll pivot.

[A]

Just cause I don't remember doesn't mean I'm gonna pivot.

[C]

What about the.

[A]

I thought this was a project that was already set up. Shut the fuck up. I'm pivoting from it.

[C]

Okay, what about the Van Damme project? Double Team Scott. Double Dennis Rodman, Van Damme.

[A]

I saw a film about a double team yesterday. I don't think it was the same one.

[C]

You talk about pornography, Scott. Well, clearly you want to do a porter.

[A]

Van Damme. No, I don't. No one wants me to do a Porter. Okay, but Van Damme really put out a film called Double Team Scott.

[C]

It is with Dennis Rodman, the worm in a two hander with. With Van Dam. And I think they fight a lion at the end of it. Okay, And I want you to be the.

[A]

Does Rodman throw basketballs at the lion?

[C]

There are definite cuz.

[A]

He was a good rebounder. Maybe he would be catching the.

[C]

He's not. He's not a guy that shoots a lot. He's a rebounder. But let's say there's a lot of rebound jokes in the movie.

[A]

Is he on the rebound again?

[C]

They talk about boxing out a bunch of times, Scott. I can remake this movie. Movie? It could be you and Kevin Durant.

[A]

Me and Kevin? Oh, sorry, Double T. I would be the Van Damme.

[C]

You'd be Van Damme? Can you do a split? I. Scott, try to do a split.

[A]

Okay, let me try.

[C]

Everyone step back.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

Here we go.

[C]

Split. Here we go. That's a perfect split.

[A]

Okay, I'm back.

[C]

That was incredible. That was just like Van Dyke. He did a split for the audience. He did a split between two rolling chairs.

[D]

Yeah. Let me hold him back again. That was amazing, Scott.

[A]

That was incredible.

[C]

Those are.

[A]

I mean, yeah, I do have some skills. That is on my resume, by the

[C]

way, most of Van Damster. He was a dancer.

[A]

That's right. You know, she was.

[C]

I can put you in Double team. We can start production tomorrow. Scott.

[A]

Really? I mean, I would do it. No one's running after me to star in movies.

[C]

Lula, you want to be in a Dude?

[D]

I would love. Do you need a physician? No, a production. A pa. You need a pa?

[C]

Yes, we'll need a pa. Count me in.

[A]

By the way, you are a terrible negotiator.

[C]

We'll need a PA and yes, and also, it's an internship.

[D]

Oh, so I get college credits.

[C]

Sure, you'll get credit. Okay, look, Scott, just one quick thing. This is non union, by the way.

[A]

Fine. I'm totally fine with that.

[C]

Cool. Because I don't want to deal with the taxes and the.

[A]

Wait, are you. Are you bankrolling this movie?

[C]

Oh, yes, Scott. I'm a producing manager, Scott.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[C]

I'm all about packaging, baby.

[A]

The packaging is what the agents do.

[C]

Well, you know, the producers have been packaging for a long time, you know.

[A]

Well, sure, yes.

[C]

But look, Scott, let's talk about packaging. First of all, it's great. We should all be into it, right?

[A]

Yeah, we love it.

[C]

You love packaging?

[A]

Yeah, I love it when the agents make way more than we do on any project.

[C]

Well, now, Scott, that's not the truth. That's not what's happening with packaging as. It's crazy. Look, I make a little bit of the front end, a little bit on the back end, and a little bit on the. Just straight up end in the general. So, yes, I do make a lot of money, but that's not. That's not it, Scott. It's. It's about taking care of people, baby.

[A]

Okay. Okay. So you double team. Would it be called Double Team?

[C]

Wait, we could change it. Do you want to call it Threesome?

[A]

I think there was a movie called

[C]

Threesome we'll throw Flula in there.

[D]

Oh, I just got cast.

[A]

Perfect. Okay, so me, Kevin Durant, and Flula, we're in a movie called Threesome.

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

Is it a remake of Threesome? Because it's called Threesome.

[C]

That was the plot. Threesome.

[A]

Threesome were three roommates, and they all have sex with each other, as I recall. And we're talking what's his name from Dead Poets Society?

[D]

Robin Williams.

[C]

Robin Williams.

[A]

Robin Williams. Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg.

[C]

Okay,

[A]

I'm pretty sure I saw this on HBO back in the day. I was like, these guys are funny and they're sexy.

[D]

It's a cast of Comedy Relief.

[A]

And then I know that Billy Crystal, he would do a jazz character occasionally during it, it would seem vaguely racist.

[C]

Okay, Scott, I love this idea. Let's just do that.

[A]

Let's do that on hbo.

[C]

We'll throw a quick ninja in there. You'll still be a ninja.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You'll do splits, but the splits will also be sexual in nature.

[A]

Oh, I like it.

[C]

This is good.

[A]

This is good.

[C]

We're friggin. This is tight. And we'll have Durant play a Whoopi Goldberg character.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

We'll put him in a wig.

[A]

I don't know if you would be into that.

[C]

In Hollywood, we love putting our black men in wigs.

[A]

I think Kenan Thompson may have something

[B]

to say about that.

[C]

We love putting them in wigs. Making them. That's a rat. Loud.

[A]

A little madeir.

[C]

A little Medea. Yeah. And you can say your name incorrectly. That's an interesting vowel choice.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you.

[C]

This is gonna be great. Are you on board?

[D]

I'm so on board. I have been taking notes, and I will submit them to you for approval immediately.

[C]

This is already good PA stuff. You're taking notes?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

You're doing PA duties and starring in the film at the same time?

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

This is gonna be great for college credit.

[A]

I wonder which you're going to neglect.

[D]

We're gonna find out, guys.

[C]

Also, it's a student student film.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yeah. Nobody's getting paid.

[A]

Wait, so is it SAG Studs or.

[C]

It's just totally non union student film. Non accredited university.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Is that okay?

[E]

And how.

[A]

What is the budget of this film?

[C]

Oh, the budget. Let me. Hold on. Let me. Let me just text. By texting my assistant here. Hold on. What's the budget for the movie? Okay.

[D]

Oh, sorry, I just received a text.

[A]

Okay. Oh, wait. Because you're doing PA Duties, you get to decide the budget.

[D]

Just reply to some.

[C]

Look in my bank account. Here's my password.

[A]

Oh, okay. Giving him his bank account password.

[C]

Check out my account balance, and I'd say let's do about 80% of that.

[A]

80% of your entire savings?

[C]

Yes, that savings, I guess. And business checking, whatever that can be.

[A]

Okay, 80. Okay.

[D]

Some math here on a phone I

[C]

just received, So I got three dots, so he's responding. Hold on.

[A]

$1. Spence is killing me.

[C]

What do we got? Got.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Say that again.

[A]

That's a $18 is 80% of your bank account.

[C]

The budget is a $8. Well, it's 118.

[A]

I mean, when you look at it that way, it's not that bad, you know, and.

[C]

And we. The fact we're not paying anyone. We don't really need any props, I guess.

[A]

It's 236. Hey, pennies as well.

[C]

That's pretty good, Scott.

[A]

Okay, that.

[C]

Now we're talking. Does anyone get paid in. Hey, Penny. Scott.

[A]

Well, if you haven't got one, God bless you.

[C]

Hell yes, Scott. That was funny as hell.

[A]

Okay, Sprague, I know you.

[C]

This guy. You're good.

[A]

All right, Sprague. All right.

[C]

Oh, Scott. But, you know, Scott, I remember the last time I was here. Scott.

[A]

Oh, good. It was just a few months ago.

[C]

Yes, it was just a few months ago. Do you remember, Scott, there was another guest here.

[A]

Scott, there was another guest.

[C]

She was very fascinating.

[A]

She was very. Yes, I was worried about her. It was. She was very interesting. But we, you know, we do need to get to our. Our next guest, if that's okay. We can't just reminisce in the past glories of previous shows.

[C]

You don't want to reminisce for a few minutes at least?

[D]

I like to reminisce.

[A]

Okay, let's all reminisce.

[C]

She was nice. I just felt like she needed to, you know, stand up for herself.

[D]

I agree with that.

[A]

We're talking about a previous guest on the episode that you both coincidentally happen to be on. Her name, as I recall, was Kayla.

[C]

Kayla Dickey.

[A]

Dickey. Yes, Kayla Dickey. And she burned into my brain. She was a girlfriend. She introduced herself as a girlfriend.

[C]

She just introduced herself as Kayla.

[D]

I agree.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But. But she was great. But we have a. A packed show today, so we got

[C]

another thing we shouldn't talk about. We'll talk about it after.

[A]

We'll talk about it after. Yeah, I would love to catch. Catch up with.

[C]

Catch up and just sort of reflect on what that experience was like.

[A]

Yeah, well, let's get to our next guest. This is incredible because we have a wife coming up.

[C]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

That's interesting.

[D]

Not a girlfriend?

[A]

Not a girl? Well, no, that was a previous episode. Of course. This. We have a wife here. She is a wife in Colorado. Please welcome to the show Kayla Dickey. Kayla.

[E]

Hi.

[C]

Oh my God. Kayla.

[A]

Dickie is back.

[E]

Yeah. It's good to see you guys.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

What a weird coincidence. So crazy strange.

[C]

Everyone lined up. We're all here again.

[A]

I wonder if that has ever happened on one of the late night talk shows where the exact same guests have ever been on an episode of Conan or Letterman or anything like that. That's so crazy.

[D]

This is weird.

[A]

Welcome back to the show, Kayla.

[E]

Thanks. Yeah, we made the drive up, so we're pumped to be here.

[A]

We?

[E]

Yeah, me and my husband.

[A]

You and your husband?

[C]

Yeah, he finally popped the question.

[A]

So before we get to him, let's talk about it because as I recall, I have a mind like a steel trap sometimes for these details. But as I recall, Kayla, last time you were on the show, you introduced yourself as a girlfriend and you were dating a young gentleman named Cart.

[E]

Yeah, Cart.

[A]

Who had a very large truck.

[E]

Yeah, the Ford brought cartoon rock hard.

[A]

250 as I recall. And he had a very large truck which the tires were over eight feet tall. You're a four foot tall woman.

[E]

Yeah, it was twice the size of me, twice big.

[A]

And so it was like a monster truck that would smash other trucks, presumably

[C]

DVDs in there and stuff.

[D]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

DVDs out cold and the like. And he had a very small penis. It looked like a monopoly dot.

[E]

A dice.

[A]

Well, one singular, as I recall.

[B]

It was a dice.

[E]

Yeah, it was a dice.

[A]

It was a die. Yeah, that's singular of dice, by the way. Dice is two. I don't know if you know that.

[E]

Well, his dick was the size of a dice, so that's okay.

[C]

Just never clear on the dick size.

[A]

Yeah, but. And it was cube in nature.

[E]

Why do you guys always want to talk about his dick?

[C]

It's interesting.

[A]

It's interesting to us because it also was speckled and spotted like a die where it had one hole at the top and then, you know, it had the opposite sides of the two and the five. I'm not obsessed at all.

[C]

It's more a dice than a dick, to be honest. The way you've described it.

[D]

I mean, if the opposite sides of his penis add up to seven and each time, that is an interesting thing.

[A]

That's interesting to Me?

[C]

Fascinating.

[A]

The two and the five and the four and the three. Yeah.

[E]

This is not why I'm here.

[A]

It's not why you're here.

[E]

Every time I come you guys just want to talk about that and I want to talk about the important stuff.

[A]

I'm just merely running down your face facts as I recall them. So you, your boyfriend was Cart. You work at or you worked the last time we talked to you at Dave's Bridal in Colorado.

[E]

Yeah. So I used to work at David's Bridal.

[A]

You used to work there. You no longer work there?

[E]

No, a lot has changed since I've been here.

[A]

Okay, but you were working at David's Bridal. Not the good one.

[E]

Yeah, the bad one. The one by the big lots.

[A]

The one by the big lots. Right.

[C]

I've been there. Of course.

[E]

Yeah. So I'm from Montrose, Colorado and yeah, I just used to work at David's Bridal with my girls. And I used to date Cart.

[A]

You used to date Cart? But now you're married to him. Right? So Cart. That's so great. So you're married?

[C]

What?

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[E]

Twist, I didn't marry Cart.

[A]

You didn't? Well, last time we talked you loved Cart because he had such a big truck. Even though he had a very small penis. You loved the size of his truck.

[D]

Truck.

[A]

So much. And you thought that you would be with him forever because he had such a big truck.

[E]

Right. So he had at the time like one of the biggest trucks in town.

[A]

He had the Ford Rockhart 250. And as I recall last time you were on, you mentioned that it was rumored the 350 would come out right around now.

[E]

Yeah, it's rumored that the 350 should be out. And let me just say. It's definitely out.

[A]

It's definitely out. Oh, I don't keep up with these things. So.

[E]

So yeah, well I keep up with

[A]

especially off cycle releases.

[C]

Strange to release cars when they are

[A]

because usually it's September. So Right.

[C]

Year end sales, they get rid of models. Yeah, the release cars at the beginning of the year is friggin insane. But you know, I guess people buying these trucks are freaking insane. So.

[E]

Yes, it's just, it's rumored actually that the 450 is coming out.

[A]

It's rumored the 450 will be out soon because we also talked about how they would release them in 50s as well.

[C]

Skip the 300. Skip the 400.

[A]

So they skipped the 300.

[E]

So the 350 is already out. And once the 350 came out. I was like, kart. Like, what is going on? Because he had the.

[A]

He had the 250.

[E]

And I was like, are you gonna get the 350? And he was like, I don't know.

[A]

Okay. Well, I mean, was he leasing the 250 or he bought it? He bought it. Well, I mean, he had just bought it. It seems a little.

[C]

It's crazy to upgrade.

[E]

I was just like, I don't know if this is serious anymore.

[A]

Okay, how long had the 350 been out when you started feeling these feelings?

[E]

Like, a couple days. And I remember just being like, so what is this?

[A]

Yeah, where is this relationship going?

[E]

But that's when we found Judd.

[A]

You found Judd Weeby? Judd Weeby of the Judd Weeby trail.

[E]

We found Judd.

[A]

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. This is crazy. Look, we have to take a break.

[C]

You were talking to me like I had something to talk. This is the biggest news in years, Scott.

[A]

I'm sorry to waste so much time with crazy.

[D]

Unbelievable.

[C]

Who cares?

[A]

This is crazy.

[C]

My movie's not even good. Look, we gotta take a break, Scott.

[A]

It's freaky out. We need to take a break. When we come back, we'll catch you up on who Judd Wiebe is. And you found Jud Weeby. This is incredible news.

[E]

Thank your listeners for praying for Jud. We found him.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Our listeners prayed for Jud, and we found him. All right, let's take a break.

[C]

I've got a fucking fr. I'm going to call my assistant. I'm canceling my lunch. Hold on.

[D]

I'm going to start praying.

[A]

Oh, Flula, you're getting a call.

[D]

Oh, it is me.

[C]

Cancel lunch. Hello? Two. Okay, good. I'm here, Scott. Let's do this.

[A]

Okay, we're gonna take a break. Flula, you go ahead and cancel that lunch. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. I have great news. Malcolm in the Middle is back. My life is fantastic now in a four part event. All I had to do is stay completely away from my family. Your biggest problem is that we exist. Everyone's invited to the Can't Miss reunion of the year. This family's behavior is toxic to me. You'll just take turns fighting and creating disasters.

[E]

That's what families do.

[B]

Malcolm in the Middle, Life's still unfair

[A]

premieres Friday, April 10th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. For bundle subscribers. Terms apply. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just beginning or ready to grow your Business. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help help your business stand out and succeed online. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, premium workshops. So much stuff. Get paid on time with professional on brand invoices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Tis the season for closet cleanouts.

[C]

FA la la la.

[A]

You know the rest. It's spring. We're cleaning out our closets. Eminem style, aren't we? I literally am right now. I've been doing it for eight days. Eight straight days. It's the perfect time, isn't it, to narrow down your wardrobe to pieces that are, you know, pieces that are well made and easy to wear all the time? Well, that is where Quince comes in. With Quince, you get fabrics that feel elevated, fits that are well thought out, and pricing that actually makes sense, right? Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. God, I hate middlemen. Get rid of all the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy. Now, I got some stuff from Quince. Let me, let me clue you in, into what I got. I got the organic comfort stretch chore jacket. Now, my wife has been saying, why don't you do more chores? And I've been saying, I don't own the jacket for it. Well, unfortunately, then I bought this chore jacket. She saw it and she was like, well, I got you now. So I've been taking out the trash all week long. But seriously, folks, and I do mean to be serious about this instead of incredibly humorous the way I've been for the past. Oh, I'm going to estimate 20 seconds or so. The organic comfort stretch chore jacket. I got it in blue and I was wearing this thing everywhere I went and people were like, dang, son. And no, no one was looking at me. But you know what? I felt good and that's what's important. And you can feel good. To refresh your wardrobe with quince, go to quince.com Bang Bang for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada. To go to Q U I n c e.com Bang Bang that's Quince.com Bang Bang for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang. We're back here. Flula Borg. Boom Time podcast.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

The podcast where he waits until the guest says boom time and then completely abandons it.

[D]

Yes, we've had varied lengths. We've had 0.02 seconds is our shortest podcast. And we have one that has still not ended. It's just an open phone call because I have unlimited minutes. So just waiting to hear back from Helmut Kohl, former chancellor in Germany.

[A]

Yes, we also have Sprague the Whisperer, who's a producing manager at Mosaic and whispers into the ears of powerful men and women in Hollywood and trying to pitch them ninja movies and.

[C]

And that's part of my canon. But, Scott, I am on the edge

[A]

of my seat right now, very, very, very concerned with canon. Like one of our other guests, you know, it's interesting.

[C]

You know that's true.

[A]

Yeah. But we also have Kayla Dickey, who is a previous guest on this show, and before the break, she laid down a bombshell.

[C]

She dropped a bomb on me.

[A]

Wow. That they found Judd Weeby. Now remind everyone who is Judd Wiebe.

[E]

So Judd Wiebe was the mayor of Montrose, and he started a fire because he left some curling irons on.

[A]

He started a big fire that burned

[E]

down all of the town.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And so the town was like, you have to go. And he was like, I'm not leaving. And then he ran up the trail.

[A]

He ran up a trail that was in the woods or on the hiking trail. A mountain trail.

[E]

Yeah, a mountain trail. And we had not seen or heard from him in seven and a half years.

[A]

That was seven and a half years ago. The trail was named the Judd Weeby Trail.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Was that official? I don't know that we ever. Or is that just something you called it?

[C]

I feel like I'd heard it from the town people when I visited, but I don't know if it was official.

[E]

Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know that the state recognizes it, but definitely everybody in Montrose does.

[A]

Now, you were Judd Wiebe's assistant when he was mayor, but only the assistant at the courthouse. He had multiple assistants for various locations. He had 10 assistants that he would travel to.

[E]

So those are all my girls. And so me and my girls, we used to work as his assistants, but then, you know, obviously, he left. So we got a job working for his ex wife, Merg.

[A]

His ex wife, Merg Weeby. Now, were they divorced because he was presumed dead?

[E]

No. Merg was pissed when he left all those curling irons on. Cause she's like. She's the one who taught him how to use them.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Because he used to curl his. Not only the top of his head, but also his leg hair. Yeah. And maybe his pubes. We never really.

[C]

I think it was implied that he. Pubes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So wait, quick clarification. Judd also had sex with all your girls and Kart, Right?

[E]

Yes. Okay.

[C]

So he was having.

[A]

He was a sexual dynamo. He had a mayoral sex cult.

[E]

Yeah. So we all fucked Judd, and then

[A]

he had a truck, As I recall, the 50, that was one of the originals.

[E]

So Judd is the reason that I love truck and the reason that I know a lot about trucks. Because he would give us the rumors about, like, what the trucks were coming out. And a lot of those I would, like, find on his Facebook and stuff. But then once he. You know, once he ran up the trail, we were like, what's next?

[A]

So he was up there in that trail for seven and a half years. You and your girls would go look for him in shifts.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And just call out, judd, Judd, where are you? Jud? And one time, I remember you. You thought that you heard him say, I'm here. And then you looked, and it was a bear. Yeah, but we thought it might have been a man in a bear costume.

[E]

So this is why I'm here. Like, it was straight up Judd.

[A]

That was Judd. We have confirmation. And you found Judd.

[E]

I not only found Judd. I am married to Judd.

[A]

Wow. This is incredible.

[C]

Twist after twist. It's like a ninja movie, I guess

[A]

because the ninjas are constantly twisting, twisting,

[C]

and contorting their bodies. They have strong corps. But this is incredible. I'm very happy for you because, first of all, I thought Cart was a complete jago.

[D]

I did not like him as well.

[C]

This guy sucked. He had a tiny penis. He couldn't lift you or something.

[E]

Well, Judd's stick is pretty small, too.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

All right.

[A]

But that's. I mean, but he has a big. I think we established last time that anyone who's bought a big truck has a tiny penis. There's never been a person with a medium to large penis who's bought a big truck. Like that.

[E]

Yeah, it wouldn't work.

[A]

Comes with a territory.

[E]

Yeah, it doesn't make sense.

[A]

Yeah. So you married Judge. Well, congratulations. So you're a wife. That's why you're a wife.

[E]

I'm a wife.

[C]

Congratulations. That's good to hear. I'm glad you're doing better. Cause last time I was definitely worried about you.

[A]

So you said we came out here from Colorado. Did you come out with Judd?

[E]

So Judd's in the truck. If you guys want me to.

[A]

Please. Yes, I would love for Judd to come up here.

[C]

He's the most interesting person I've ever heard of.

[E]

Okay, let me just open the window.

[C]

Oh, great.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Open the window.

[C]

Here.

[A]

Jed, you may have to speak a little. Yeah. Louder than he can hear.

[C]

But the engine, it sounds like it's like a freaking tank out there.

[B]

I hear you, baby. I'm coming.

[A]

Oh, I think I heard.

[C]

Oh, I think I heard, like Jackson made or something. Speaking of a star is. Boy, that was incredible. Wow.

[E]

He was watching in the truck.

[A]

Can you imagine going to a Jackson, Maine concert, by the way, not to get off on a movie that came. Came out months and months ago, if not half a year ago. Can you imagine going to a Jackson Main concert? And he says, hey, by the way, my girlfriend wants to sing some songs.

[C]

It would be freaking insane. I think about that all the time. If I was at a concert and then like, you know, it was that like Arcade Fire or something. Then they started some song I've never freaking heard before. Then they brought out some stranger.

[A]

I'm like, I mean, just. That was a duet at least. But later on in the movie. Movie. He just basically like seeds stage times.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's just like, hey, how about it, babe? And then she just goes up and it's like, it's fine. Yeah, that's your girlfriend or whatever. Maybe we've kept up with that on YouTube or something.

[C]

But you know, Scott, we should host the Oscars.

[A]

Yeah, sorry.

[C]

This is intentional.

[A]

Next year in 2020, we gotta host the 2020. The other ones have already come out.

[C]

Well, it happened. But we gotta host the Oscar.

[A]

Kayla has Judd. Where has Judd? Come up here.

[B]

Hey, baby. Who are these guys?

[A]

Hi.

[E]

These are my friends.

[A]

Can I introduce ourselves? My name is Scott Aukerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. This is Flu Le Borg. He is a former techno DJ who has now. He started doing events and now is not considered. Doesn't consider himself to be a comedian, but has worked within the field mainly.

[D]

I'm now Paing Ninja movies. So very exciting.

[A]

And this is Sprague, the Whisperer.

[C]

Hi, Sprague Jensen. Break the sister. Yes, of course.

[A]

We had Kayla on the show a few months back, and she told us all about your incredible story. And I don't think it's been picked up by any of the news outlets. So I would love to break some news stories here about you. I, weirdly enough, had a Google alert for Judd Weeby. Judd with one D. With one D. Just because I wanted to. Yeah, exactly. He runs exactly rhymes with chud. And it's spelled very similarly, but it has that J that the Johns people got.

[C]

They threw those Js away.

[B]

I mean, what do you want to know? You know, I started a big fire, and then I disappeared on a trail in the mountains.

[A]

And we know all about that, but I guess we want to know what have you been doing the previous seven and a half? Close to eight years at this point.

[B]

Well, I went up this trail.

[A]

You know, the judweeby trail.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I'm honored. I'm flattered they named a trail after me.

[A]

You know, unofficially, from what I understand.

[B]

Well, whatever. I mean, it's still flattering. It's cool.

[C]

They're a very humble guy.

[B]

I killed a bear for warmth and I crawled inside it.

[D]

Oh, like Leonardo DiCaprio.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

How soon did that happen?

[B]

Real soon.

[A]

So what day was it that you ran away?

[B]

Day one. That would have happened. Day one.

[A]

Okay, I guess I meant day of the week, but do you mean Sunday?

[B]

Yeah, Sunday.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That's day one.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because Monday is not the start of the week. Sunday's the start.

[A]

Sunday calendar. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you ran up there on a Sunday and you killed that bear.

[B]

This bear was like, hey, who started the fire? And I was like, it was me.

[A]

It wasn't a talking bear. You just mean, like, physically. It looked like, hey, who started the fire?

[B]

I'd inhaled a lot of smoke, man. So maybe it was talking. Maybe it wasn't. Anyway, I punched into its stomach.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[E]

You punched into Jed's super strong.

[D]

A bare stomach.

[B]

And then I crawled inside for warmth. Cause the sun had just gone down

[A]

while it was still writhing or grasping

[B]

to life or I guess so. I mean, whatever's more respectful of animal life.

[C]

Quick question about this punch. Was it a ninja punch?

[B]

Yeah, it was a ninja punch.

[C]

That's pretty okay.

[A]

Unofficial, though, the state doesn't recognize it as a ninja punch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Colorado State says that there are no ninjas inside.

[C]

I like this guy.

[B]

I Crawled inside of it.

[A]

I mean, I heard about a guy who recently strangled to death a mountain lion. But you punched a bear to death?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And part of it was to hide out from the cops, who I thought would be coming to get me because I started this fire.

[A]

Now, it's not illegal to start a fire, I guess, unless you're doing it intentionally. Was it intentional?

[B]

No, it wasn't intentional. I was trying to curl my hair up top and also down there, Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You mean your pubics.

[B]

Yeah. Cause my pubes are. They grow straight and long.

[A]

That's the opposite of most pubes.

[B]

Exactly. It's like Dogtown and Z boys down there.

[E]

I tell them to leave them straight.

[A]

Oh, really? You like it?

[E]

I like them straight.

[A]

You like them straight? Yeah.

[D]

Wait, just to confirm, it was not a man in a bear suit that you killed and then crawled inside?

[B]

I mean, I hope not. It was pretty dark in that bear.

[D]

Got it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That'd be terrible if I killed a bear. Bear suit and a man. Yeah, in a bear suit.

[D]

That's a double helmet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you. Did you scoop out the innards or something or when you got into that bear or.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, slowly they slid into the feet of the bear and then I just cut a hole in the foot.

[C]

There was a person in there.

[D]

Yeah. That's like.

[C]

I don't want to get too much.

[A]

We're getting into the weeds.

[B]

This would suck.

[C]

Don't want to implicate you on this.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah.

[A]

Were there a lot of people hanging out in bear costumes up there on the trail back then, or.

[B]

It's hard to tell a bear from a man in a bear costume, obviously. Yeah, of course we would wave to each other, but I figured it was just a bear waving at me.

[A]

Oh, that's definitely a human being in a bear costume. Was there a bear festival going on?

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yep. All bass.

[A]

It was a Sunday.

[B]

Yeah, it was just all bass. All these bears playing bass.

[A]

Okay. Did it have a name or.

[B]

Bear Bass festival.

[A]

Bear Base Festival.

[D]

Oh, it was a bbf. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And you were the mayor of this town.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's interesting. It doesn't. You don't seem mayoral.

[B]

Well, I got a strange charisma about me.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm finding this.

[C]

Yes, I am into you.

[B]

Hey, Scott.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I just wanted to stare at your face.

[A]

Oh, thank you, Judge.

[C]

It was very Jacksonvin.

[A]

Yeah. So, Jud, you crawled into a bear costume day one, and I would imagine that it decomposed over the next eight Years. Uh huh. Yeah.

[B]

It was a pretty sad looking bear by the end. I caught a glimpse of myself in town once. Cause I would just kind of wander the town.

[A]

You would wander through the town?

[E]

He had to eat the trash because he'd go to get some food.

[A]

Would you resign yourself to only eating what a bear could eat? Meaning, like if someone had closed the trash can lids. Yeah, you would. You'd not get.

[B]

Yeah. Then I'd be perplexed.

[C]

Couldn't get it open. Bat at it with your hands for a while.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

Yeah, same. You get a bite into it, get

[B]

a nice bass drum glide going, right?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

They'd be a bass. They be a bass.

[A]

So you. You would wander into town occasionally and would the local news outlets pick this up or were you ever caught on camera or anything like that?

[B]

I mean, I was really off the grid. I wasn't even checking Twitter.

[E]

It was really hard to find him. Me and the girl, you know, we'd been trying for so long, right? But then one day, you know, I did see him going through my trash and I said, jed, really?

[C]

He was in the bear costume.

[A]

He was in the.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, he was in the bear costume.

[A]

And you having seen him. Previously on Comedy Bang Bang. You saw him.

[C]

He's one of us.

[A]

You saw him in the bear costume and thought it might be him. And so you thought.

[E]

Yeah, I mean, I'd seen him. I'd seen what I thought might be him. But this time I was like, I knew it was him because I saw like, you know, the bear had like, kind of deteriorated enough that I could see his legs and his tattoos.

[A]

His tattoos? What? Oh, like, can we see some of these bad boys on here?

[C]

What do you got? What are you rocking down there?

[B]

They're mostly on my feet. Ankle down.

[D]

Oh, please show us.

[C]

Pretty strange.

[A]

Oh my. Wow.

[B]

Got a Nike swoosh. A puma swoosh.

[C]

Looks like a shoe.

[A]

Looks like several shoes.

[C]

Looks like a bunch of shoes.

[A]

Shoelaces. That's like a kid kids dream shoe. Every brand.

[C]

It's crazy.

[B]

The bottom says saw, Cody.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Sakony.

[B]

Sakony.

[A]

Cody 2012.

[D]

I don't know how you say it.

[C]

It's Cody Judd. I have. I have a question I'm interested in. In why you. You ran away. Because I have a suspicion that you slept with all these people in town. And it was catching up to you, Judd. And you murdered.

[A]

Maybe was. Was she was gonna find out about this.

[C]

You were sleeping with all your. With all of. Of her girls. And you were pissed and you said, I'll burn the city down and run into the mountains and no one will ever find me.

[B]

I mean, I wish that I could say it was that clear. I definitely, in hindsight, thought, like, hey, this has gotten me out of a lot of jams that I got into because I fucked my way through town.

[A]

Yes, you just fucked. So the fire was almost like a deus ex machina in a way of getting you out of all of your problems.

[B]

I think it's pronounced deuce ex machina, but okay.

[A]

I beg your pardon? I mean, Flula would know. Maybe.

[D]

I would say it's a tie. It depends on the reason in Pennsylvania.

[A]

But Ty goes to the runner, so I think you are the runner, so I'll give it to you.

[C]

I would say, deus es, Maki now.

[D]

Oh, and who did you just get fired by? Bobby.

[A]

What?

[C]

Mornini hand.

[A]

Yeah, of course. So you were gone for. What is the statute of limitations on this fire, by the way?

[B]

Were you.

[A]

Did it elapse?

[B]

It was seven years.

[A]

Yeah. Seven years.

[C]

This whole thing seems very convenient.

[B]

No, honestly, look, I was just trying to straighten my pubes and I burned down. And I burned down the courthouse and my house.

[E]

Trying to curl your pubes.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Curl my pubes.

[D]

Oh, Judge, I have a question.

[B]

They can't get any straighter.

[D]

It sounds like you have a lot of love desires in your life while you were in town. Did you have any love achievements while you were away from town?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, seven years as a bear, who knows what you had sex with?

[C]

Did you fuck a bear?

[B]

Yeah, I made love to some bears.

[C]

Okay. Oh, well, that's.

[A]

Were these other people just there for the bear festival or were they actual bears? Yeah.

[C]

Was it one year from the day you killed that first bear, A bunch of other bears showed up, and you're like, oh, I'm gonna. One of these bears.

[B]

I mean, the base got going and it just got real sick. I mean, you try to. Not when. When all it is, when it's like, 60 bears and they're all playing upright bass.

[C]

Sorry to say this in front of your new wife. Dude, of course.

[E]

No, I'm fine with it. I'm totally okay with who and what he wants to. And me and my girls, like, we're. We're his wives now, so it's.

[A]

Wait, the other girls are also his wives?

[E]

Yeah, we all got married.

[A]

And you're in a polyamorous relationship with the rest of your girls? And Judd.

[E]

Well, we've always been fucking Judd. That's Why we were so unhappy when Judd left.

[A]

When Judd left.

[E]

And to be honest, Cart wanted in too, and I had to say no.

[A]

You said no?

[C]

Poor Cart.

[E]

I mean, Cart couldn't get that big truck, so.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And Judd, what do you drive?

[B]

A ford Rock Hard 350.

[A]

Oh, interesting. Wow. So you. Where did you pick that up, by the way? Because did you pick it up after Kayla found you, or did you have it out there on the trail?

[B]

I had pre ordered it from the dealership.

[C]

Yes. You had to pre order these things.

[A]

So you pre ordered it, knowing the statute of limitations was about to elapse and you could return to society.

[B]

You're making me seem like a mastermind criminal.

[A]

It's not that clear, really. So you just were flipping through a catalog or online or something happened to pre order a truck, not even thinking you would have a use for it?

[B]

Yeah, I actually had just sent the email to the dealership pre ordering it. When my pubes had gotten curled enough, I set the curling iron down on the magazine I was flipping.

[A]

Oh, wait, you pre ordered it seven years ago?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Wow. That's.

[A]

That is foresight.

[C]

This guy. It seems like a plan, but you're saying it's all coincidence.

[D]

All random.

[B]

Okay, coincidence, man.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

How the hell did you get married? Like, what, did you. Did you just immediately propose or how did you. What's the courting process here?

[E]

Yeah, so when I saw him going through my trash, I was like, get up here. And he climbed into my apartment.

[A]

Oh, that's like the opposite of what guys would do to you because they would see you with a big truck and they would say, get up in here. And you would just follow their every command, right?

[E]

Yeah. So I guess I kind of channeled some of that energy and I said, you get up here.

[A]

Some of that sde. The small dick energy.

[C]

I like that. I like you doing things for yourself, girlfriend.

[E]

But then he said, no, you come down here. And I said, okay. And I climbed down.

[A]

Tell you what, we need to take another break. This is another one. This is astounding news.

[C]

Every left turn, there's more questions. This Judd Weeby guys of absolute conundrum.

[A]

We need to find out what you're up to now, how you guys got together, got married, and what's coming up for you guys as well. Let's take a break, though. When we come back, we'll have more Flula, more Sprague, the Whisperer, more Kayla Dickey, and more Judd Weeby back from the presumed dead. Yeah, we'll be Right back with more comedy. Bang, bang. Hey, you know what happens after Wet Day? That's right. It's Way Day at Wayfair. From April 25th through the 27th, you can score the best deals in home, like up to 80% off. With free shipping on everything, Wayfair makes it easy to find exactly what your style needs and what your needs need and what fits your style and what fits your needs. From furniture and decor to home improvement and outdoor essentials. Upgrade your space with quality pieces that work within your budget. And with Wayfair Verified, their team of product specialists vets everything by hand using a 10 point quality inspection. 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Head to Wayfair.com April 25th, 5th through the 27th to shop Wayday. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Cha Ching. Does that sounds give you a glimmer of hope or does it put just a level of stress in your body? Oh, financial stress. Cha Ching. When you hear that, it means money going out, not money coming in. Well, financial stress can affect more than just money and how it shows up in your bank account. It can show up emotionally, it can show up mentally. And you know what? BetterHelp connects people with licensed therapists who can help them to manage the emotional weight that comes with financial stress. Financial stress impacts more than just a budget. At the start of this year, year 2026, the year of our Lord, 88% of Americans reported feeling some form of financial stress. Money worries can disrupt sleep, increase anxiety, and create tension in all of our relationships. 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Comedy Bang Bang. We're back here with Flu leborg of the Boomtime Podcast. And we also have Sprague the Whisperer out there constantly putting together and packaging ninja films.

[C]

Doing my job.

[A]

We also have Kayla Dickey of Montrose, Kayla Weeby. Now you took his name. Okay, Kayla Weeby and Judd Weeby. Judd with one D. And he was the former mayor of Montrose, Colorado. And now he's back. He was in a bear costume. And now you're back. Tell us about how quickly did you guys get together?

[E]

Yeah, so I climbed down from my apartment and we just fucked right there in the trash and.

[A]

In the trash? What was in the trash? Do you recall anything that was there in the trash at the time?

[E]

Some sharp stuff, for sure.

[A]

Some sharp stuff? Like what? Like hypodermic needles.

[C]

Broken glass?

[E]

Yeah, a lot of broken glass. Like Snapple bottles.

[A]

Do you smash your Snapple bottles before you put them in the trash just to save space?

[E]

I just threw them at the. The window and.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[E]

So I got real caught up.

[C]

And Kayla.

[E]

But it was all worth it because afterwards Judd's like, okay, let's go find everyone else, the assistants.

[A]

So, Judd, at that point, had you decided that you were going to return to society?

[B]

Yeah, I mean, the jig was up, you know, and I figured the statute of limitations being what they were.

[A]

That sounds like more like what? Actually. Yeah, no, honestly, that's coincidence. But primarily the jig was up. And that's why you returned.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, also like the bear suit was decomposing at such a rapid rate at that point.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You could pretty much tell that it was just a human wearing a bare head and mostly a body.

[A]

Okay, so you do admit now that it was a human?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

[C]

So you realize the statute of limitations on murder?

[A]

Well, I don't know that it ever expires. I don't think it does.

[C]

Maybe kind of.

[B]

I don't know. But you know, I don't think that's first degree murder.

[A]

Yeah, it was probably maybe manslaughter.

[C]

Premeditated.

[B]

Yeah, clearly self defense. Like a bear is coming at you, waving its arms.

[A]

From what you were describing, it was waving at you, like saying hello.

[B]

How could I know that?

[D]

It's fair.

[B]

I've got to know that.

[D]

Fair point.

[A]

I guess anyone who, who came to that bear festival, the Bear Base festival, maybe signed a disclaimer that, look, if anyone shoots us or ninja punches us into the stomach to death, you know it's our fault because we're wearing a bear costume.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, I could dig that up too. But I definitely signed it a few years in a row.

[A]

Okay, so you decided then, let's get back together with the other nine women. Or the other 10. Nine.

[B]

Right.

[E]

He has 10 assistants total. So I called Cassie and I called Trish and I called Tosh and I called Meg. And I called.

[A]

Tosh was the one who was in charge of the home fire, as I recall. Yeah.

[E]

So she really fucked up, but it was on Tosh. And I called.

[C]

I think I said that last time.

[A]

I think you did good.

[E]

I called the mayor and I called Bert.

[A]

You called all the.

[C]

You called all the people. Okay.

[A]

You called everyone?

[E]

And I called Ashley.

[A]

Oh, Ashley. Okay, great. So you called the other nine girls?

[E]

Yeah. And then they were like, what are we gonna do about Murg?

[B]

And then I stepped up and I said, I'll tell Murg.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

That.

[A]

Dealing with it like a Responsible.

[B]

Like a man in a decomposing bear suit.

[A]

Did you keep the bear. You were still wearing the bear suit.

[B]

Yeah, but it. I mean, honestly, it was a hot day. It was rapidly falling off.

[A]

There had been no hot days previous to this?

[B]

Uh, no.

[C]

Is that what you're. Wait, let me see this. Is this just the remnants of the bear suit?

[D]

You're still wearing it?

[B]

Yeah. Well, it's what's left. It's the neck. The neck piece just won't come off.

[D]

That is disturbing, I must say.

[C]

This guy is just so much a jag off his cart.

[A]

By the way, you're wearing a necklace filled with other bear. It was. It has other bear paws on it. Are these the other bears that you've killed and had sex with up in the last seven years?

[B]

Well, when. Whenever another bear would die at the festival, you just kind of take one of its hands and put it on a necklace.

[A]

All right, great.

[D]

Would die. It's a very passive way to describe it.

[C]

Would murder would just happen to die.

[B]

You guys are putting so much on me, man. All right, you never even been to one of these festivals.

[A]

If you think this is bad, I think the court system there in Montrose, Colorado, would be even worse. I mean, you're gonna have to have you publicly come out as a human and not a bear. Now, as the former mayor of the town, Judd Wiebe.

[B]

Yeah, I publicly came out as a former mayor.

[D]

Are you running for mayor again?

[B]

It sounds like the town wants me to run.

[A]

What?

[C]

Really?

[B]

But I go anywhere in Montrose, and I hear these whispers. He's running whispers. I go for a jog. People are like, he's running.

[C]

But they might think you might be running up back to the trail. Not running for anything.

[A]

By the way, these may be FBI agents who are trying to communicate on walkie talkies with their. Their. Their comrades.

[C]

Can I ask you this? Are you jogging while this is happening?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, that's what they're talking about, Are

[A]

you leaving the house in a hurry when you hear this all the time?

[B]

I tend to run late. Also, I mean, if these FBI agents are registered, I want their vote.

[C]

Weeby, you're in a lot of trouble. I'm not gonna lie.

[B]

Well, look, the point is, I did the right thing. I went to murder Merg's house. I said, you're no longer Merg, Weeby. Go back to your maiden name, Griffin.

[A]

Okay, did you make her change her first name, too, or.

[B]

Yeah, back to Merv.

[A]

Okay, so you're like.

[C]

Her name was Mev Griffin.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

No relation.

[C]

That's interesting.

[A]

To who?

[C]

Never mind.

[A]

Before your time.

[C]

Mervyn Colorado. They don't know out there.

[B]

Look, I've been off the grid in a bear costume for seven and a half years.

[C]

Yeah, the last seven years have been really popping off of Merv Griffin.

[B]

Someone's like Merv. I'm sure Merv Griffin got famous and unfamous in that time.

[C]

Sort of a fly by. Right?

[E]

But the thing is, is that Merg is missing now.

[A]

Oh, Merg is missing.

[E]

So we don't know what happened to Merg.

[A]

And what's the last time anyone saw Merg?

[E]

So I saw Merg, obviously. When? After this whole thing. But then I had to go to work, and I was like, I saw Merg, and I was like, look, I'm sorry. Like, I'm gonna be with Judd now. And she was like, you need to shut up. And I was like, look, you need to shut up. And then she pushed me into all the dresses.

[A]

Okay. It's a soft fall.

[C]

It sounds like it's like, a mattress of dresses.

[E]

Yeah. I couldn't get out. It was like quicksand.

[A]

Oh.

[E]

I just stuck. I was literally just like, stuck in the dresses, trying to get out for, like, I'm not kidding, like, four or five hours.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

And that was.

[A]

You weren't in the shower shallow, were you?

[E]

And.

[A]

Yeah, you're in the deep end.

[C]

Hey, hey,

[B]

hey.

[C]

I don't know what's happening.

[E]

We like to sing.

[B]

Be nice to her.

[C]

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[A]

All right. All right.

[C]

Standing up for his.

[E]

We like to sing to each other. So I'll be like. I'll be like, I'm in your back truck. I'm in your back truck, and you're in my vagina.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I like it.

[A]

Good stuff. So she pushed you into these dresses, so.

[E]

Yeah. And. And then, seriously, she ran. And look, my girls were on break, so no one was there at David's Bridal.

[A]

Everyone else was on Break at this.

[E]

Yeah. So I was the only one.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

And we had really bad Yelp reviews after because I was like, not helping because I was stuck in the dresses.

[A]

Really? So for that, how long was it? About an hour?

[E]

No, like four or five hours.

[A]

Four or five hours and no one helped you?

[C]

They came in looking for help, saw someone rolling around, around in dresses and

[A]

said, I'm going to give a bad girl review. One star.

[B]

And I, I, I wasn't there cuz I was having an emotional day. I just found out that my dad's ranch got turned into a wind farm. And that was devastating.

[C]

Pretty devastating.

[A]

Sounds very similar to another story that I heard recently.

[B]

You imagine he died, they turned his beautiful ranch into this wind farm, Right?

[A]

Yeah. Wasn't that where he was buried too? Or.

[B]

I don't know. If you know where his body is, let me know.

[A]

So you did not see Murg run off and that's the last anyone ever saw.

[E]

It's rumored she's up on one of those trails.

[C]

The Merv Griffin Trail. Did they name it after, like they.

[B]

Unofficially, yeah.

[C]

Unofficially they're calling it the Merv Griffin Trail.

[A]

So she's up there on the Merv Griffin trail, you think? Or is anyone searching for her like you searched for Jud?

[E]

We're just like, kind of okay with it. And if she needs to be up

[A]

there, everyone's just letting her be. I wonder what the statute of limitations is on pushing someone into some dresses. Maybe she's waiting it out.

[C]

She's probably waiting. It's like simple assault or something. You might be kidnapping. Couldn't get out of the dresses before if I were. Oh.

[D]

I mean, I have a question.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

So you have nine friends, Wife. What are they called? Your partners?

[E]

Yeah, my wives.

[A]

Do you consider yourselves to be married to each other or just all of you are married to judges?

[E]

We call each other sister.

[A]

Sister wives. Okay.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Sister, wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. So was it you have married each other? Was the wedding with everybody or was the 10 separated wedding.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[E]

Well, we each wanted to feel important.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

So I had the first ceremony.

[D]

Oh, the first what? Sorry?

[E]

Ceremony.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Just bolder accent comes out strange ways.

[E]

Of course I had it. We just did it in my backyard.

[C]

Classic.

[A]

Where all the broken glass is.

[E]

Yeah. It was so painful.

[B]

We were walking on broken glass.

[C]

Oh, I should have.

[A]

Just a real Annie Lennox situation. Who? I think that she was famous in

[C]

the last seven years. She blew up Annie Lennox all over the place.

[D]

You missed it.

[A]

Yeah, you missed out.

[E]

It was so sad though. Cause, like, I couldn't get one of the dresses from David's bridal. Cause, you know, it's super expensive and tragedies. You don't give me a discount anymore. Cause Merg's not there.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Who's running it?

[B]

Cart.

[E]

You don't know?

[A]

Cart stepped up. He was working at the bakery.

[B]

He stepped up.

[C]

All right. That's pretty bad. I didn't expect him to step up like that. But to step up and run someone else's business.

[D]

I respect that.

[B]

It was cool. Honestly. Because it was. We got into a dick measuring contest.

[C]

Must have been quick.

[B]

Like guys. Like guys with big trucks. Do you know what I mean?

[E]

Sure.

[B]

It was actually. It was so close, we couldn't find rulers that had specific enough measurements to get it.

[C]

Judd, I hate to ask.

[B]

I test. It looked the same.

[C]

Your dick is as small. It looks like a dice.

[B]

No, it's more like a domino. Flat side down.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

That's all that care.

[C]

At least you can see.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Dominoes.

[E]

Half a dominoes.

[C]

Half a domino.

[D]

Half of a domino.

[C]

It's half of a domino.

[E]

Dominoes.

[B]

There's a. A, a one on the top and then a two on the bottom for the balls.

[E]

I want to say it gets it done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You want to say that you want say it.

[E]

I want to say that it makes me feel good.

[C]

Kayla, can I talk to you in private for a second?

[A]

Oh, yeah. You guys go off into the corner over here. We'll just. Hey, Kayla.

[E]

Kayla. Yeah?

[C]

Do you need to get the out of here? Do you. Are you. Are you safe? I can get you out of here. I've got. I represent clients. I've got. No. Out of the town in no time. I can get you out of here.

[E]

Honestly, I'm so good. Like, I'm loving being a wife and excited to get my children's out of my body and stuff.

[C]

You're pregnant?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Wait a minute. What did I.

[C]

No, that's. Scott. Scott, I have another.

[A]

What are you guys talking about?

[C]

Scott, she's freaking pregnant.

[A]

You're pregnant.

[D]

What?

[C]

Kayla.

[E]

So we don't know whose it is.

[D]

How do you not know this?

[A]

Whose else could it be? Do you mean Cart or do you mean one of the other sister wives?

[E]

Well, so I've just been walking around a lot lately and I just. I don't really.

[A]

Yeah, you walk the streets a lot, as I recall.

[C]

Have you been in other trucks?

[E]

So I want to say no.

[A]

Okay, but are you going to say no? And a reminder, you are under Oath. Everyone takes an oath when they walk in to do comedy. Bang, bang. We're all sworn to tell the truth. Uh oh, wait a minute.

[C]

Shot. Shot. You shouldn't have said, uh oh. That was a dead giveaway.

[A]

Yeah, you're gonna be tried for perjury.

[C]

Some Roger Stone esque behavior.

[B]

No, no, no. Honestly, I. I feel bad because I didn't know that I was. I was already telling the truth. I just didn't know that I signed that.

[A]

Okay, you did sign it.

[C]

Well, John, it sounds like your. Your wife is telling you she may be cheating on you.

[E]

Well, we're in a pretty.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Oh,

[E]

well, you know, babe, you know Tarka.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

So Tarc.

[A]

Tark. Is that T A R, C? Yeah, it's like an anagram.

[D]

Good cart.

[E]

Almost like Cart Tark picked me up to give me a ride over to baked in Montrose to get some croissants.

[A]

What? Where Cart used to work and one

[E]

thing led to another and let's just say I'm like covered in flour and dough and I'm.

[A]

Is that a euphemism for his semen?

[C]

Because it could be at the bakery they got out of the.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Is that the croissants have crumbled.

[A]

I'm not quite sure what's going on.

[B]

Either way, it's intimate and I'm devastated.

[C]

John, are you okay?

[B]

This is terrible, man. I don't know how to process my emotions. I mean, look at.

[A]

Don't run away. Don't run away.

[B]

I want to run away.

[A]

Don't do it.

[C]

You're running.

[A]

Don't go up the Merv Griffin trail because Merv Griffin will be there.

[B]

Oh, it's worse. I feel like cooking a steak and giving it to my dog, if you know what I mean.

[A]

Oh, no, please don't do that. Please don't do that.

[C]

Oh, right, right. Okay. I followed Al.

[D]

I have no idea, but I support it.

[B]

Why would you do this?

[E]

I only did it because Turk has the 450.

[A]

The 450 is out.

[C]

That's the biggest twist of all.

[D]

Are you sure he is not just.

[C]

People have just turned off the podcast and just ran to the this. Listen, I got to Pre order the 450.

[E]

I don't know how he got it. He said he was rumored that it was going to be on one of the message boards. Like to order it was rumored that

[A]

it was going to be on one of the message boards.

[C]

He already has it.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

How big are the wheels?

[E]

So big. Like three times size of me.

[A]

That's like 12. 12ft. That's insane.

[C]

That's almost. Well, Scott, you're pretty sure. Tall. Six feet. That's good. That's almost like one of those industrial, like, mining trucks or something.

[A]

Yeah, it's like.

[C]

No, you can't even drive that on the road.

[D]

That's not legal.

[C]

It's free and insane.

[A]

It's not street legal at all.

[C]

Judd, I'm so sorry. I.

[B]

This is terrible, man. I might run back into the mountains.

[A]

Please don't do that. You're angry.

[C]

Ex wife is up there. You don't want to run into Merv.

[B]

Yeah, well, she wouldn't do this to me.

[E]

Jed, I'm so sorry. I know that. Like. Like, I know you want this baby.

[B]

I want it. I want that baby.

[A]

What do you want it?

[C]

What do you want? Strange way to say that.

[B]

I want that baby. I want to hold it. I want to feed it.

[A]

Okay. Okay. All right.

[B]

I want to help it learn the ways of the world.

[C]

That's pretty cute.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

I don't know what you mean by this. I feel terrified, as you describe it.

[C]

Terrifying. What about your other wives? You have eight. What about the rest of the girl?

[B]

It's kind of a package deal. You know what I mean?

[C]

It's all for one, one for all.

[A]

Yeah, like the three musketeers in Titania. Well, look, you know, every guest who does the show not only swears themselves in by putting their hand on one of the holy books, but we also do a 23andMe DNA test. So we can.

[D]

We.

[A]

We've been doing the testing here, and we also found out that. That you were pregnant. That came up in the test, and we. We have the results here. If you want to hear who is the father of this baby.

[E]

I don't want to hear.

[A]

You don't want to hear? Well, Judd, do you want to hear? Because this concerns you as well.

[B]

I can't believe I just pissed my pants in front of all of you.

[C]

I had not noticed because you're sitting down.

[A]

I did smell something.

[D]

Thank God for black jeans. I had no idea.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

Yay.

[B]

All right. Yeah, I want to hear.

[A]

Can we get a drop of fluid? Just saying thank God for black jeans, by the way.

[D]

Thank God for black jeans.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That's pretty good.

[A]

All right, so you. Do you want to hear the results of this DNA test?

[B]

I gotta know who the daddy is.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

All right. They've given it to me in an envelope.

[C]

So it's between Tark or T, A,

[A]

R, C, who Or CHUD Here and let me see it now. Rip open. Wow. All right. Judd Weeby.

[B]

So it's me.

[A]

No, no. I'm merely drawing. I know. That's a real fake ass.

[C]

He's doing a Maury Povich wind up. He's really setting the stage.

[A]

Sorry, sorry. I know that's confusing.

[B]

I thought you had already read it.

[A]

Yeah, let me, let me. I should usually start like this. I'm going to address you first. Don't think that it's you. I'm just going to say your name first.

[B]

Oh, but then it's never the person that you say first.

[A]

Judd Weeby.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'm doing it again. I gave you the disclaimer.

[C]

This guy's thick as hell.

[B]

You're playing with my emotions, dude.

[A]

Judd Weeby.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You are. Uh huh. Not the father.

[C]

Oh, wow. That's huge.

[A]

But there's an even bigger twist.

[C]

I can't take any more twists. I might have a heart attack.

[A]

Your DNA matches the fabled Colorado Bear Killer.

[C]

The cold case?

[A]

No, the Cold case. That's right, the Colorado Bear Killer.

[B]

It was self defense.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[C]

If I were you, I wouldn't make any comments on this until you get to get a lawyer or something. This is up.

[B]

Lawyers. It was self defense. The bear waved at me.

[C]

I gotta say this is a bad idea. My bad.

[A]

I don't know that we needed the DNA test. He had already.

[C]

It's kind of a slab duck. You trust me? Hey, you want a plausible die?

[B]

I had already admitted to it. I don't need DNA to tell me.

[A]

But according to this, the authorities have been searching for this guy because there are 43 human beings that have been killed out there up on the Chudweeby Trail. 43.

[B]

But were they. Is there bear DNA mixed in with it?

[A]

No, it's all just human DNA.

[C]

They thought they were like some human bear hybrids. You'd be okay killing. That's not what it.

[B]

I didn't kill. I didn't kill any humans. I might have punched upwards of 43

[C]

bears you punched into them.

[B]

It's a look when the base is flowing.

[A]

That's not a good defense.

[D]

I'm punching and throwing it Will, if

[B]

I can play this base in court,

[A]

I don't think they're gonna allow you.

[C]

I say this guy is pretty chopping, like a Ted Bundy type. They might let you divide yourself.

[A]

Yeah, you may get a Netflix show out of this. I don't know.

[C]

I say this would be a great Netflix show. And I love the ninja part. And I'D love to consult on it.

[D]

Oh, I would bench this.

[A]

Yeah. And flu. You could be the PA on it.

[D]

I would love to do this.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

You want to get in there?

[A]

I'll get in on this. Yeah, I'll do. I'll do literal punch out.

[C]

Okay. So, look, my agency can protect you from the law. We have some great guys. Look, look, you're signed with me. I'll slide you this contract. Sign with me. Put on this ninja costume, and. Yes, the ninja costume.

[B]

All right, let me read this. This Mosaic, is that one of the top five?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, we're kind of a boutique, but we've got reach all over Hollywood. I've got to say, tentacles. Tentacles.

[B]

Because, like, the top three do a lot of package deals, and actually, that greases a lot of wheels.

[C]

It definitely does. But again, this is a management company or an agency. You know, do you want a small agency?

[A]

They're not bound by the same laws that agents.

[B]

I would just want a personal relationship with my man.

[C]

Absolutely. Look, you walk into Bridge scene tomorrow, they're not gonna remember who the hell you are. But you come into Mosaic, I know your name. I know who your wife is. I know everything going on. Hello, Caleb.

[A]

Wives.

[C]

Well, I only know Kayla.

[A]

Yeah, you know who the wives are?

[C]

Yeah, I know Kayla.

[A]

Can you run them down?

[C]

There's Ashley. There's a couple other people. Of course, it's all on Tosh. And, you know, I want to sign you, and maybe I could protect you.

[E]

Becky.

[C]

Becky. Of course. Yes, yes, yes. There was a Bert in there. A couple male names as well.

[E]

Right, Kasha?

[C]

What do you think, Judd?

[A]

I can.

[C]

I can sign you if you can

[B]

protect me, and I can play most of the other bears in the production.

[A]

Now you have demands.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

The protection would be enough for me.

[C]

My God. All right. You know, you might be too hard to deal with. You know, I'll buy your rights, and maybe we'll talk to Gyllenhaal or something.

[A]

What?

[C]

No, you're done, Weeby. I was trying to hook you up. I'm done with you.

[A]

This is how quickly things happen in Hollywood. Hollywood.

[C]

I'm texting my agent. Cancel those contracts.

[B]

Oh, man. I've been taught a lesson.

[D]

Just got a text.

[B]

Now the law is going to be coming after me. I can't even hide out on my daddy's ranch because it's a wind farm.

[C]

Yes, well, Judd, I want you to be concerned more about your marriage. It looks to be falling apart.

[E]

I just don't even know, like, who you are anymore. I'm confused.

[A]

He has the 350 and he's murdered

[D]

43 people wearing basics.

[E]

It's not the 450.

[B]

You know, in self defense. They were waving at me, too.

[C]

I'll say. The whole sex cult thing is not helping yourself. There's a whole pattern of events.

[A]

You really don't get brought up on multiple charges.

[B]

Don't judge polyamorous people.

[C]

No, I'm not judging you, but it's just all the facts together.

[E]

I just don't know what I'm gonna tell the girls. Like, what am I supposed to say

[A]

to Becky regarding who the father of your child is? Or.

[E]

No, that he's like this killer.

[A]

You guys didn't.

[C]

Oh, you didn't put that together?

[E]

No.

[C]

Jesus.

[E]

And like, blindsided.

[A]

And now hashtag blindsided.

[E]

I had to go tell Ashley. You gotta tell Ashley and Cassie.

[C]

You gotta tell Dog Flash.

[A]

We don't need to run through the entire burgh Tosh. Everyone. Are you gonna be leaving Judd here and going over to Tark?

[E]

I don't know. What, like, Judd? Like. Like what? Can you give me that? Tark? Can't.

[B]

I can pre order the ford. Rock hard. 550, motherfucker. I can raise that child as my own.

[A]

What? The 550 or.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, got it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

That's crazy. Put it in your eyes.

[E]

Is it rumored to be out, the 550?

[A]

Is it rumored to be on the message boards yet?

[B]

It definitely is.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I just got an alert for that.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

Well, look, then I guess that's good enough for me.

[C]

Kayla, this seems like a crazy. You can't sustain this.

[A]

No. What if they.

[C]

Okay, what, are they gonna go make a rock hard a thousand or something?

[A]

I mean you 1,050.

[E]

Have you heard that? Has that been rumored?

[C]

No, but I mean, me saying it, I guess I'm putting it out there that technically it's like. I guess that's a rumor.

[A]

What's a rumor? You know, you are a whisperer.

[C]

I am a whisperer. You know, start to whisper.

[E]

So you do know that There's a Rockhart 1000 out there?

[A]

Why are you looking at it? You have suddenly pivoted away from Jud and you. You're just.

[C]

It's just.

[E]

I'm just like. I'm interested.

[C]

Well, it's just that if they're making them, you know, they're going up by number. You imagine unless they go out of business, they're gonna get to, what, 1,050, right?

[E]

If you've got it if you got the thousand, like, for sure.

[A]

Stop grabbing him.

[C]

That's my cloak. Don't touch that.

[E]

It's really soft.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Don't touch my cloak.

[C]

I don't like this.

[B]

It's soft, though.

[C]

Okay, boy.

[A]

Yeah, don't touch it. I have both of you either, Scott, you touch it. All right, well, maybe I will.

[C]

Wait a second.

[A]

That is so solid. It's very solid. This is, like, 27 wedding dresses.

[E]

I could fall into this thing.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

This is pretty nice. I don't like this. Oh, Judd. Hey. You want to kiss me?

[A]

Wait. Okay. I don't know.

[D]

Sorry.

[C]

What just happened?

[A]

I don't know how this. Shit.

[C]

I almost started having sex with Judd Weeby.

[A]

Gee, he's got a powerful magnetism.

[C]

This guy's got something about him.

[A]

He's like Magneto.

[B]

We should kiss after the podcast.

[A]

Okay, look, I don't know if I can say no, guys. I don't know. There's so many unanswered questions. I mean, primary for me, whether Tark is just Cart going the other way, back to his old business.

[C]

I have a strong suspicion that Tark is in a costume and he's faking all this. He's back in it.

[E]

Tark did use some of Kart's lines.

[D]

He was like, it's Kart.

[E]

He was like, you need to shut up. And I was like, what?

[A]

That's classic Cart right there.

[E]

He's like, I'm coming after you. You better run.

[C]

Did he say you were asking for it?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

He's. That's classic.

[A]

That's Cart.

[D]

Ding, ding, dings. That's Khart.

[E]

Yeah. And then he's like, get in here. Like. And he had. What's that movie? The one about Princess Bride? The documentary?

[A]

The one about the Princess Bride. I think it's Princess Bride.

[E]

Yeah. So we were watching that, and I was like, whoa, that giant is so big.

[A]

Andre the Giant.

[C]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

And he was like.

[E]

He's like, shut up.

[C]

Okay. So he says shut up a lot.

[E]

And I was like, this is fun.

[A]

You know what?

[C]

Can you bring Tok in at some point?

[A]

Yeah, bring Tark. I would love to have Kart as well. I want to see Taak and KK in the same.

[C]

Maybe even Ashley and Tasha.

[E]

We gotta talk to what About Kasha.

[C]

Bring whoever. But we really gotta get involved with this.

[E]

Kasha wants to come.

[A]

Okay. Okay. I'd love to have Kasha here. Anyone who wants to come.

[E]

I just want to know what I'm supposed to tell my girls.

[D]

Just bring them all.

[E]

Which Ones can I bring?

[C]

Bring them all and tell them that

[A]

we'll pay for it. First class accommodations and travel, all that.

[E]

Where are we gonna stay?

[A]

Where do you want? I mean, usually we put up guests of the show here at the London. Here in town.

[C]

Yes. Mosaic has a couple rooms at the W. We can put you up.

[D]

Thank you again.

[C]

Yes, of course.

[B]

Yes. Just a couple, huh?

[A]

All right, well,

[C]

I'm sick of this guy.

[D]

You lived in a bear suit for eight years and now you're pushing about the room.

[C]

This guy's out here trying to. He doesn't understand Hollywood. Look, we'll have a talk, okay? Because you don't get it.

[B]

I don't think I want to be with Mosaic. That's all I'm saying.

[C]

All right, you know what? We don't need your ass to be artist.

[A]

Who are you going to side with?

[B]

UTA fans.

[A]

Okay, but. All right, look, we need to. We're running out of time.

[C]

We need to play. Would you rather.

[A]

No, no, no. We just have one last thing to do, and that is a little something called Plugs. Welcome to the plug hotline. Welcome. Hey.

[C]

That was incredible.

[A]

Nice and short. And Steve, Dope AF Flula. That was like something you would put together.

[D]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

That's in your genre.

[D]

Oh, it's so deep in my genres.

[A]

I would love for you to do a plugs theme next time you come count me in. Yeah, great. Okay. Just come ready with it next time.

[D]

I will do that.

[A]

Okay. That was Hotline Plugs by Tyler Beckwith. Thank you so much to Tyler Beckwith. All right, what are we plugging? Flula. What do you have to plug here?

[D]

I've been regularly using the latrine.

[A]

Sure. Yeah, yeah. So you can catch you in there.

[D]

Catch me inside?

[A]

Most latrines catch you inside.

[B]

Why?

[D]

Yeah, I. I started using Insides and Boom time, the podcast. Hello.

[A]

Of course, Sprague. What do you have?

[C]

Well, I'm. I'm a producer on a new NBC show called Abby's. It's coming out every Thursday.

[A]

Last time you were here, you were plugging.

[C]

Of course. Yes, but that's all, you know, that's. That's passed and we've unfortunately did not get picked up, so. Thanks for bringing that up.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

But I've got this show, Abby's.

[A]

It's great.

[C]

It's a multi cat. Mike Shaw produces.

[A]

How many cams we got?

[C]

3.

[A]

That's not bad.

[C]

Not bad. And sometimes you do an overhead with a crane shot outside Scotland.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[C]

Fascinating show. Google it. Abby's. I'm a consulting producer.

[A]

Okay, great. And Kayla, what do you have to plug as always?

[E]

I wanna plug Big Dick's small. Sorry. Big Truck. Small Dick.

[A]

You seem very flustered right now. You almost plugged Big Dicks.

[C]

That seems like what I would want you to plug. Yeah, no, that's not.

[A]

That's what we would want to plug you. Maybe.

[C]

Maybe that's just what your inside wanted.

[E]

I'm just realizing that like Tark is car.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Yeah, it's just like very confusing.

[A]

Just. Was he walking backwards the whole time?

[E]

The car. The truck was going.

[A]

The truck was going in reverse and he was wearing backwards clothes. Like crisscross.

[E]

And the flat brims are like all inside out.

[A]

I'm just confused.

[C]

The clues were there all along.

[A]

Yeah, all along.

[E]

So anyway, yeah, I want to plug Big Truck. Smile dicks. And then you can follow me and all my girls at

[C]

Y I L Y. Lily. Okay.

[A]

Lot of vocal fry on that.

[C]

Yes.

[E]

On Instagram and on Twitter.

[A]

On Twitter, all of your girls are there.

[E]

So we all tweet, we all rotate and so you can follow me and my girls there.

[A]

You're doing it in shifts. Much like searching for Judd.

[E]

Yeah, exactly. Two hour shifts.

[A]

Judd, what do you want to plug?

[B]

Well, definitely want a truck.

[A]

You want a truck?

[B]

I want another truck.

[C]

He wants it on the truck.

[B]

I want a just plug like a prayer out into the universe.

[A]

Can you afford both of your boyfriend, your husband and your ex boyfriend and maybe baby daddy, can they afford buying all these trucks?

[C]

Seems credit like.

[B]

Yeah, pretty good. 783.

[C]

What?

[D]

After eight years of no payment?

[A]

Well, it resets after seven years or so. That's probably another reason why you.

[C]

This motherfucker unbelievable.

[A]

He has gamed the system.

[C]

He's game the system.

[A]

All he had to do was wear a bear costume out in the woods for eight years.

[C]

Murder 43 people.

[A]

I would be willing to do that to get my life back on track. Track. I want to plug the comedy Bang Bang TV show. If you're in the US, all episodes, all 110 are out there on Netflix. Let's close up the old plug bag.

[C]

Get him, get him, get him. Don't be closing.

[A]

Don't be closing. Open up and let's get loaded. Ah, I'm back on.

[C]

I feel like I just did mushrooms.

[A]

Guys, I want to thank you so much. Flula, always great to see you. Big fan. Anything. You keep pursing your lips as if you're about to say something, but I remain talking.

[D]

Great to see you. I have an ability to Interrupt other people. So I just waited for a paws.

[A]

I appreciate that much like you did, Judd. Waiting for those paws out there in the. On the trail. Those bear paws that you cut and wear around your neck.

[B]

Truck. Huge truck.

[A]

Okay, you're still. You're very focused on the truck right now.

[C]

This guy is crazy.

[A]

Sprague, great to see you.

[C]

Great to see you, too. And look, Scott, of course, if you ever want to come over.

[A]

Of course, of course.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But we should work on something, you know, across the aisles, you know what I mean? Even if I don't come over. So you're a producer. Of course. And, Kayla, you may not be a wife next time we see you, but I would love to have you come back with Tark Ne Kart, as well as some of your girls. Kayla, you seem very. Or, no. Kaylee, was it? Who did you want to come over? You were very concerned about Kasha.

[E]

Kasha really wants to come.

[A]

Kasha really wants to come.

[E]

She's been texting me this whole time that she wants to come here.

[A]

Okay. Bring Kasha over. I have. No.

[E]

She's in the truck.

[A]

She's in the truck right now?

[E]

Yeah, but I'll tell her to wait.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

All right.

[A]

She's very sad for a second, but we are running out of time.

[E]

Okay. Thank you for having me. And I just want to say, you know, it's okay if you. If you guys have small dicks and.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

No, we moved to Hollywood on the last episode. We. We have a lot of BDEs.

[E]

I just want to say it's okay.

[C]

I'm a manager. I have a huge dick.

[E]

Anyway, thank you, guys.

[A]

Thank you. You don't need to bring the show to a grinding hall.

[C]

She was trying to insult us there.

[A]

Yeah, big time. Us here.

[C]

Let's just get on the record. Sprig, the whispers. Packing a big old dick. Okay. Because I. I just did a. I guess I'm not freaking out. Let's just have a big time.

[A]

They talk about packaging.

[C]

That's. I put the. Packaging. Packaging.

[A]

All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Hey, what's going on over there? It's me, Trevor. Noah. You know me. You. You. You don't. You don't know me. Oh, you do. I was worried there for a second. Well, if you know anything about me, you'll know. I love having interesting conversations. Conversations where we scratch. Scratch beneath the surface, like what's really going on in the news? Or what is that celebrity really thinking about that scandal that they had? Or what's the worst way to be a parent. I mean, you want to find that out so you can be the best parent, right? Well, regardless of what it is, this podcast is all about figuring that out, talking to interesting people who have interesting ideas that give us an interesting perspective on the world that we're living in. So check out what now with Trevor Noah available wherever you get your podcasts

[E]

when it's time to scale your business, it's time for Shopify. Get everything you need to grow the way you want. Like all the way. Stack more sales with the best converting checkout on the planet. Track your cha chings from every channel right in one spot and turn real time reporting into big time opportunities. Take your business to a whole new level. Switch to Shopify. Start your free trial today. Why have we asked our contractor we found on Angie.com to be our kid's legal guardian? Because he took such good care when redoing our basement that we knew we could trust him to care for our kids.

[A]

We only met a month ago. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail].