Bonus Bang: Vera Drew, Tim Baltz, Casey Feigh (Nutz 4 Snutz)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Bonus Bang Episode: Vera Drew, Tim Baltz, Casey Feigh (Nutz 4 Snutz)

Release Date: March 20, 2025

Comedy Bang Bang dives into a special archived episode titled "Limo Karaoke," featuring filmmaker Vera Drew, Tim Baltz as Randy Snuts, and Casey Feigh as Joey Salsa. Originally aired on July 9, 2023, this episode offers a blend of insightful discussions and the show's signature comedic chaos.

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1. Introduction to Bonus Bang Series

Timestamp: 00:10 - 02:21

Scott Aukerman opens the episode by explaining the Bonus Bang series, which releases previously recorded episodes for subscribers. He introduces "Limo Karaoke" as the fifth and penultimate installment in the "Nuts for Snuts" series, highlighting its significance as a favorite from the archives.

2. Guest Introductions

Timestamp: 04:16 - 07:29

• Vera Drew: A writer and director who previously edited the Comedy Bang Bang TV program. She discusses her involvement in over 65 episodes across seasons two to five.

• Tim Baltz as Randy Snuts: Shares anecdotes about his time editing the show, including demanding schedules that affected his health.

• Casey Feigh as Joey Salsa: Introduces his new venture as a traveling karaoke station operator, setting the stage for later discussions.

Notable Quote:
Randy Snuts on his hectic schedule: “Apparently doing that job was not good for my health, my sanity.” [08:04]

3. Vera Drew’s New Film: The People's Joker

Timestamp: 09:08 - 22:36

Vera delves into her latest project, The People's Joker, a Batman parody featuring an unfunny transsexual clown who starts an indie comedy theater in Gotham City. She discusses the film’s autobiographical elements, the controversy it faced at TIFF, and its premiere at Outfest.

Notable Quote:
Vera on the film’s inspiration: “It's really, like, autobiographical... about my experience working in comedy and coming out as a trans woman.” [09:53]

Legal Challenges:
Vera recounts receiving a strongly worded letter from Warner Brothers questioning the parody status of her film just days before its premiere. This led to negotiations and a screened premiere in Canada, delaying broader distribution.

Notable Quote:
Vera on the cease and desist: “They never got an official cease and desist... we actually negotiated with the head of Warner Canada.” [13:47]

Character Portrayals:
Vera highlights her role as Joker, noting she is the first trans woman to play the character, and discusses the inclusion of characters like Mr. Freeze, Perry White, and Bob the Goon, portrayed by Tim Baltz and Bob Odenkirk.

Tech and Distribution Plans:
She outlines ongoing efforts to finalize distribution plans, aiming for an art house run and eventual VOD release, with screenings across various festivals, including secret tours in Australia.

4. Joey Salsa’s Traveling Karaoke Limo

Timestamp: 32:09 - 46:52

Joey Salsa introduces his new business—converting a limousine into a traveling karaoke station. He explains the setup, including microphones for performers and a selection of karaoke CDs, emphasizing its entrepreneurial spirit despite limited song options.

Notable Quote:
Joey on his motivation: “I'm an entrepreneur at the end of the day like anybody else.” [36:38]

Comedic Exchanges:
Randy and Joey engage in playful banter about the legality of having alcohol in the limo, the challenges of convincing patrons to use the service, and humorous takes on handling customer expectations.

Notable Quote:
Joey on customer interactions: “I say, no, thank you. I'm not looking for that.” [42:25]

5. Improvisational Musical Skit

Timestamp: 48:00 - 78:00

The trio embarks on an improvised musical segment where Scott Aukerman presents original songs inspired by his life. The skit showcases their ability to create spontaneous, comedic content, albeit with intentionally absurd lyrics and themes.

Notable Quote:
Scott performing a song: “I wanna suck him... I want to take down my pantaloons.” [77:21]

Critique and Humor:
Randy critiques Scott’s musical creations, highlighting the parallels and divergences from established works like The Music Man. Their interactions underscore the show's blend of humor and creative expression.

6. Closing Remarks and Promotional Plugs

Timestamp: 78:00 - 90:02

As the episode wraps up, Vera Drew promotes her film's upcoming premiere at Outfest and encourages listeners to follow her on Twitter for updates. The hosts also discuss various shows, podcasts, and upcoming events, maintaining an engaging and lively atmosphere.

Notable Quote:
Vera on distribution plans: “I'm very confident about the VOD release plan... hoping for a theatrical release.” [82:05]

Final Banter:
Randy, Joey, and Vera engage in lighthearted conversations about future projects, the film's creative process, and playful jabs at each other, culminating in a humorous closure to the episode.

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Conclusion

This Bonus Bang episode of Comedy Bang Bang successfully blends insightful discussions about Vera Drew’s filmmaking journey with the show's trademark comedic flair. Listeners are treated to behind-the-scenes anecdotes, creative improvisations, and the dynamic interplay between hosts and guests. The episode not only highlights Vera’s pioneering work in film but also entertains with its unique and eccentric humor, making it a memorable addition to the Comedy Bang Bang archive.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

This podcast is brought to you by Hulu. Hey everybody, Hulu has a bunch of.

[Randy Snuts]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Just funny, they're hilarious.

[Randy Snuts]

Very funny, Hulu.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, they're launching new exclusive stand up specials from awesome comedians like Jim Gaffigan.

[Randy Snuts]

Ilana glaser, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr and tons more. A new special drops every month and.

[Scott Aukerman]

They'Ve got a huge library of stand up specials to check out. Go to Hulu and get your stand up fix now. Experience the Flavors of Latin America event at Whole Foods Market with deals on.

[Randy Snuts]

Vibrant ingredients and zesty creations. Store wide, save on no antibiotics ever meet like chicken thighs and marinated skirt steak, fresh avocados plus street food inspired items and more through March 25th. Hey everyone, Scott Aukerman here and welcome to another Bonus Bang. Of course, Bonus Bangs. We all know what these are. They are previously recorded episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that we are trotting out in full front of the paywall. And this is the fifth and penultimate episode of our series, Nuts for Snuts. That's right. Each week we've been re releasing some of our favorite Randy Snuts episodes from the archives. And this week we have a great one. This is episode 820, called Limo Karaoke. It originally aired on July 9, 2023 and it features filmmaker Vera Drew. We also have Tim Baltz as Randy Snuts and Casey Faye as Joey Salsa. This week Randy has another new job, apparently as a traveling karaoke station operator. Plus music from Joey Salsa. We also talk about Vera's movie, which I am in. It's a great time. If you've been enjoying this series and you want to hear more archived Comedy Bang Bang episodes as well as episodes of Randy Snuts own show, you can become a [e-mail] where we have every single episode we've ever recorded, as well as all the live episodes, including all of the live shows that Randy Snuts has appeared on, as well as the episodes of his own show that he's recorded live. We have all of that. We're gonna have a new episode of Comedy Bang Bang out on Monday, but until then, enjoy this bonus Bang Comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang.

[Randy Snuts]

Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Comedy Bang Bang Comedy Bang Bang Comedy.

[Randy Snuts]

If Moses supposes his toes is a roses, do you think maybe he had a drinking problem? Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. An interesting hypothesis, one we probably will not explore, but thanks to the tiny mammoth for that catchphrase submission. Don't think it's going to stick. But who knows? Next week I may say it again. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. This is, of course, used to be the show where we talk to interesting people. Now it is humanities and the Animal Kingdom's podcast. We have a great few guests coming up. We have a person. I don't even know how to describe them. A person who used to clean ice out of urinals. I can't remember if he cleaned ice out of them or whether he just cleaned the ice that was in them or the ice would melt and he would pour more into them. But we'll figure all of that out when he comes on a little later. We also have a person with an exciting opportunity coming up after that packed show. I have to say, I mean, some of these shows, I gotta tell you, the worst fucking guest come on this. And this week we have a guy who used to clean ice out of a urinal. Someone with an enticing, exciting opportunity, I should say. But let's get to our first guest. She is the writer and a director used to, full disclosure, used to edit the Comedy Bang Bang television program. So, you know, there will be softballs. Although I gotta say, if you were just walking down the street and someone threw a softball at you, that would, that would be dangerous. So who knows what this is?

[Vera Drew]

The safest kind of softball somebody could throw at you.

[Randy Snuts]

Exactly. Close up. She has a new film that she co wrote and directed called the People's Joker, which was embroiled in controversy at TIFF earlier in the year, but it has its premiere this Saturday at Outfest. Please welcome Vera Drew. Hello.

[Vera Drew]

Hello. Thanks for having me on.

[Randy Snuts]

Great to have you. Nice to see you again.

[Vera Drew]

I was so, I, I was so nervous to, to do this because I've been listening.

[Randy Snuts]

You've been on the other side. Oh, you've been listening too.

[Vera Drew]

Well, I, I, yeah, I mean, I, I gotta admit, like, I haven't. I have fallen off a little bit in recent years, I think.

[Randy Snuts]

Like, having you. Was it Covid? Where. Oh, having me as a boss. You're about to say you see the. Behind the. Yeah. You see all the bullshit behind the. Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

Surprisingly, though, I have. I've revisited the IFC comedy Bang Bang quite a bit over the years. Like, it's. I think I hear it's good. Yeah. Yeah. Age is like fine wine.

[Randy Snuts]

Which seasons did you work on? My impression of it was 4 and 5, but I don't know, I started.

[Vera Drew]

So I was on set for season two as a dit and if people.

[Randy Snuts]

Don'T know what DIT is, it's basically dit, right?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, exactly. I'm still not quite sure what that job was.

[Randy Snuts]

It's a person who basically would run in all the time and go, you have to stop. We have to stop. We have to do the DIT. And then everything was shut down for like 15 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Most stressful job I think you could have on set. Just constantly telling people we're running out of media and I need to back up everything. I think we lost that entire take.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, we would also do. We would do long ass takes, which was. DIT is basically the person who takes all of the things recording everything, transfers it, wipes it clean, and then comes back with those because they're all expensive and you need to recycle them as much as you can. But we would do super long takes and it would be like. And every once in a while it'd be like, we need to stop.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Because you're just running out of memory.

[Vera Drew]

Which you never want to do, like while somebody's like in the middle of like a, like a, like you know, an improvised.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. If they're on a roll. But that was hardly ever problem on our season. Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. So you were.

[Randy Snuts]

So second season you were the person doing that and I gave you nary a glance.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. No, I don't think we talked. Maybe once. I think I talked to Reggie that season. More than doubt he remembers.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, he's a real glad hander. He's out there going like meeting all the crew.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Learning one thing about him. He likes to learn what everyone does, what everyone's job is. And he memorizes their name and he memorizes all their children's names.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. So I couldn't remember his lines. He had to. He learned everybody's name and occupation on set. But yeah, then I came in. I think my first episode was the Kevin Smith episode.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, season three.

[Vera Drew]

Yes.

[Randy Snuts]

Late in season three.

[Vera Drew]

Late in season three. And then. Yeah, came in strong. Four and five and four Was the.

[Randy Snuts]

Four was the mammoth season.

[Vera Drew]

Crazy.

[Randy Snuts]

So you were basically on for more than half the show because you essentially did about 65 episodes out of 110.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy just having that many things that I've edited and I feel like particularly that season four, it kind of was an impossible task of trying to deliver that many episodes.

[Randy Snuts]

It was hard. Yeah, it was. And I made you guys work weekends, but you had a weird schedule. You had. Was it Wednesdays through Sundays? I believe, because I had to shoot Monday through Friday, and then I would Saturday and Sunday work with you guys. Yeah, yeah.

[Vera Drew]

You'd come in very, very tired on the weekends. Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Apparently doing that job was not good for my health, my sanity.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, yeah. I can. I can only imagine especially, like. Like the days where you were, like, filming multiple episodes in a day and then coming in and, like, hanging out with, like, a bunch of sweaty editors.

[Randy Snuts]

You guys were not sweaty. I want to make sure that is. Is expressly expressed.

[Vera Drew]

I was playing into the stereotypes, I guess, a little bit.

[Randy Snuts]

No, you guys actually used to take baths in the middle of the day, didn't you?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, well, that was when we. When we flipped and became a union show.

[Randy Snuts]

Union guarantees.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

They make you take one communal bath per day. But that was more from our side. We were like, let's get these guys to bathe. That's in our contract. So you worked on that for a while, and then you. Then I didn't see you for. Well, you were working at that public access station for a little while with Stoney, and then I didn't see you for a while, and then you. Now, another full disclosure. You hit me up. I'm actually in this film.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm a movie star.

[Vera Drew]

You play Mr. Freeze in this film.

[Randy Snuts]

Let's talk about the film. Because you hit me up to be in it. And I didn't really know what it was, but I'll do anyone any kind of favor.

[Vera Drew]

Basically, I was shocked that you said the lack of context that was given. I was so blown away that it was an immediate yes.

[Randy Snuts]

No, honestly, like anyone I've worked with, I'll. If they want me to do something, I'll do it. Also, I'm offer only. And your offer was $0. And I was like, well, that's a loophole.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

But what is this film is. I wanted to have you on to talk about it because it's had a fascinating journey to its now premiere this Saturday. Describe. First of all, just describe what is the film?

[Vera Drew]

So it's about an unfunny transsexual clown named Joker who starts an illeg comedy theater in Gotham City. And it's very. I mean, it's a Batman parody. That's what I say to legally cover my face. And that's what it is. But it's really, like, autobiographical. Just about my experience working in comedy and coming out as a trans woman and kind of being on. You know, because I've gotten to work on, like, really cool stuff, like comedy Bang, bang. And I can't.

[Randy Snuts]

God bless you for remembering. But you also did. I mean, you worked through. Absolutely. Right. So you did. What else did you do? You did.

[Vera Drew]

I worked on Eric Andre's show. I was on season one of Nathan for your Kraft Punk's political party. A handful of Tim and Eric things. I co directed and produced Tim and Eric's Beef House, which nobody watched, but not even me.

[Randy Snuts]

I don't even know what it is.

[Vera Drew]

It like came out right at the start of the pandemic, which just kind.

[Randy Snuts]

Of timing killed it.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, yeah, that was, that was by design. We didn't want anybody.

[Randy Snuts]

March 20th.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. On adult Swim to when. When a alt comedy was essentially.

[Randy Snuts]

There was a time early in the pandemic where you would watch anything. It was. I remember watching that Will Ferrell. What's the big music festival in Sweden or whatever that they do. The, the. I forget what that movie's called, but.

[Vera Drew]

Oh, the Eurovision.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, Eurovision. And just something would come out and it'd be like, thank God something's here.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

But apparently not Beef House.

[Vera Drew]

But yeah, I was really. I mean, I've made. I've had a handful of like web series and like video art projects and stuff throughout the years where I was very much on like the fringe and very like kind of unfunny and kind of figuring out my identity through like the art I was creating. So. And I really. I wanted to make a movie about that. And I'm obsessed with Batman.

[Randy Snuts]

The caped crusader, some call him.

[Vera Drew]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Is that a good chime in?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, yeah, just stops the train of thought immediately. Great chime in. But yeah, that's kind of the long and short of it. It's, it's, it's. It's a comedy, but it's also like a very kind of tender, queer coming of age story.

[Randy Snuts]

And you. Are you in it or.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, I play a character called Joker.

[Randy Snuts]

The titular Joker.

[Vera Drew]

The titular Joker. I'm the first trans woman to ever play Joker.

[Randy Snuts]

Let's go through the jokers. You have Cesar Romero.

[Vera Drew]

Yes. Possibly the best because he refused to shave his mouth.

[Randy Snuts]

I did that on a show that Paul F. Tompkins was on where I put on a fake mustache and makeup over it as a tribute to Cesar Romero. But. And then you have. Jaaaa.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, there wasn't anybody till Jack.

[Randy Snuts]

Right. And then of course you have. I forget who else, but anyway, some good people. And then you're the first trans person to play the role. Do you think he'll be the last.

[Vera Drew]

Probably based off of the legal response from Warner Brothers.

[Randy Snuts]

Let's talk about this. So basically, the show was. Or the movie, rather. Some people call things shows. When you're in. When you're in. When they go, I'm working on this show, but it happens to be a movie.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Like, you'll hear, like, grips gathered around me, like, I just got off this. This last show.

[Randy Snuts]

The grip voice.

[Vera Drew]

I just got off this last show. You know, they're talking about, like, the last Indiana Jones or whatever.

[Randy Snuts]

Right.

[Vera Drew]

It's not. That's a movie, actually.

[Randy Snuts]

So.

[Vera Drew]

So you just slipped up. I don't know that that's.

[Randy Snuts]

I probably did slip up. Thank you for keeping me honest. But this was scheduled to come out at Tiff It. It show. There was one showing. And then you mentioned before Warner Brothers put. Gave you a cease and desist. Is that right?

[Vera Drew]

Well, yeah. So we never. We never got an official cease and desist. Like, we really just got, like, kind of this, like, strongly worded letter that was like, we don't think this is a parody.

[Randy Snuts]

Like, what makes something a parody? Because if you can put out, you know, Batman, a porn parody, people in Batman costumes fucking, like, Batman's been fucking.

[Vera Drew]

Joker and Robin and Catwoman on screen for years, but somebody can't make, like, a tender, gay Batman movie. But yeah, so they sent us that letter literally, like, two days before we were supposed to premiere. And they had known about the movie. Like, I'm friends with a handful of people in, like, the Harley Quinn writers room. Yeah. The Penguin himself is my brother. And, you know, they really waited to the last minute. I think they were trying to kind of kill our. To really get into the kill. A big film sale. And like.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. And there's no point in doing it two weeks before because then you would explore your options and learn that you could do it or whatever. But two days before is meant. That happened to me once when we were doing the Day the Clown Cried reading with Patton Oswald, which is this Jerry Lewis movie. We were doing a script reading, and we would do it around town every once in a while. And. And then they gave us a cease and desist, like, a few hours before we were supposed to go on. And that. It. It just is there to scare you.

[Vera Drew]

Cap you. Yeah. And. And, yeah. Like, really scare you. And it. You know, it freaked me out, I guess, but it scared my team more and kind of the people that were sort of trying to help me put together a release. And we weren't gonna premiere, but I was like, I got A passport to go to Canada. Like, we should do it. Like, we're all here. So we actually negotiated with the head of Warner Canada, and we're like. We have, like an army full of people that are already ready to see this movie tomorrow. Let us screen. So we had our screening. It was great. And then I kind of paused after that to sort of go back to my lawyers and just make sure that we were in the legal green zone. And I had to finish the movie. The movie still had some effects and stuff that needed to be done. It's live action, but there's a lot of animation and every kind of animation, stop motion 3D. So there was a lot of moving parts that I needed to bring home before we started screening again. And I also wanted to come back with a plan this time instead of.

[Randy Snuts]

Just, did you hope to get it sold when you were up there and then come back? And is it sold? Is that why it's premiering or what's the status now?

[Vera Drew]

We don't have any distribution plan set in stone, but it is coming together right now. I mean, really, like, Outfest in pretty much every festival that we've screened at since Tiff, you know, because we've done a handful of secret screenings. Like, I did, like, a whole secret tour with the movie in Australia, like, every festival.

[Randy Snuts]

Under.

[Vera Drew]

Oh, yeah, down under.

[Randy Snuts]

Does Batman. Is. Is he different down there? Like, does he work during the day?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Jesus Christ. It's so crazy. Like, you know, like, being 18 years old and listening to, like, comedy Death ray on a radio. On the radio, listening to you ask these kind of questions to somebody and.

[Randy Snuts]

They'Re funny when you're listening. Yeah, it's not so funny when you're.

[Vera Drew]

Sitting here, like, breaking into a sweat. But, yeah, like, every, like, Outfest has just really gone to bat for us. I mean, they're sponsored by Warner Brothers.

[Randy Snuts]

Gone to bat, by the way, is a pun. And we should just, like, really let everyone know that you meant to say that.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, Moment of silence for that. And, yeah, that's kind of why we were sort of confident that we were able to screen.

[Randy Snuts]

And that's great. And, you know, I mean, the little I learned about parody law, doing comedy bang bang. Because we would have all these, like, conversations with lawyers all the time, and the closer you are to the thing, the better. Like, I remember there was one thing where we were trying to parody the Ghoulies, which were the. I don't know if you remember them, the little monsters that come out of the toilet and, like, Bite your butt or whatever. And we. We put them in there and we called him something else. And the lawyer was like, no, no, you gotta call. You gotta call them ghoulies. That way everyone knows you're parodying the ghoulies.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

So, like. And you're parodying Batman. There's like, Batman costumes and Joker costumes and stuff. So it's like.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

And like, you're not.

[Randy Snuts]

You're not basically trying to fool people into going like, this is the new Batman movie that's coming out.

[Vera Drew]

Exactly. And like, I think, you know, the kind of like, like, deep, like, negative nerd response out of Tiff was like, why didn't you just call it, like, the Jokester or something? And it's like, because I actually couldn't do that.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, that's actually not legal.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, like, that is the. That's trying to. And although that's pretty good Jokester, the movie goes out of its way to show that it is not a DC movie. Like. Like, I mean, there's. There's a lot of canon references just because, like, I love Batman and all the iterations of Batman. But, like, you know, it's the worst Batman we've. That you will ever see. Like, he's. He's more like kind of just like. Like an overweight cop in it.

[Randy Snuts]

And it is interesting because Batman, you know, when you really think about it, you go like, oh, this poor little guy, he got his parents face blown off or whatever. And so it goes. He goes and fights crime. He's really a rich dude who's out there stomping on poor people.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. And like, is still like, look, we all have trauma. Especially, like, it's 20, 23. All of our lives are missing.

[Randy Snuts]

Go to one therapist, Batman.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. You'll get over it. Like, this is not. Not the. Not the solution. I don't. I don't.

[Randy Snuts]

I don't think that. I don't know that they've ever shown him going to a therapist in the comics, which would. Kept. That would cure him.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, it's.

[Randy Snuts]

It's worse than that. He's like a super dick now. Like, it used to be like, hey, okay, he's out there and he's at least like, you know, he had this shit happen to him, but he's out there, you know, trying to help out now. He's just an asshole to Superman.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. I mean, I think that was the thing too, making this movie. Like, I really love the, like. I mean, I grew up on the Schumacher Batmans. Like, I loved the Tim Burton ones. But I loved Batman Forever. Like, I saw it when I remember seeing it as a kid. And, like, seeing Nicole Kidman in that movie was like an early. Like, oh, I think I'm trans or gay or something for me. Because, like, just seeing her and the way Batman looked at her and, like, the rubber nipples, like, you know, some. Some wires got either crossed or connected in that moment.

[Randy Snuts]

Just everything was pinging for you at that moment. Oh, boy.

[Vera Drew]

And, like, rubber nipples. I just love the. I love the colorful, campy.

[Randy Snuts]

Did you like the. The. The little projected question marks anytime the Riddler would come on onto the set?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Although, like, all the. Like, yeah, like.

[Randy Snuts]

Like he said, like, he's in there, like, setting up lights beforehand. Like, or at least telling someone, like, hey, I want all these question marks projected all over.

[Vera Drew]

It's like, where all the money from, like, the diamond heist goes to the production design of his lair. Yeah, I like, miss those. I mean, I love the Nolan Batmans, like, as much as anyone, but it was cool.

[Randy Snuts]

It was cool to see something like, hey, this is Batman realistically. But now we don't need to go darker. It's like, how much you know already. Like, this new one, you can't see what's happening on screen, and it's. It's way too quiet. It's like, what's next? Let's go back. Let's go back to the. Let's. Let's out. Schumacher. Schumacher.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. No. Yeah. I really. I really wanted to make him. Him proud with. With this movie. And I. I hope. I hope. I. I hope in heaven. He's watching down.

[Randy Snuts]

Do you think he's in heaven? I'd like to think so. Like that heaven, at least.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, at least. He's probably in a very specific type of heaven.

[Randy Snuts]

Like that. That's where Alfred went when he died.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Spoilers for the current comic book, by the way. I know the current writer, Chip Zdarsky. Oh, boy. If you're listening, Chip, you have a few notes. Anyway, so the People's Joker. Well, it premieres this Saturday. You were telling me 9:15. I'm gonna check that against the official record, but apparently that's your opinion. It comes out 9:15 this Saturday.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. That is a weird time to.

[Randy Snuts]

It's strange. Especially, like, I can understand if it's an hour and 45 minutes, but it's an hour and a half.

[Vera Drew]

It's an hour. It's a. Yeah. Cold 92. So I don't really know.

[Randy Snuts]

Maybe they. And when you say cold 92. It was a Mr. Freeze pond.

[Vera Drew]

Yes.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah, you meant to say that.

[Vera Drew]

Thank you for catching that one, too.

[Randy Snuts]

And I play Mr. Freeze in the film, which, upon your instructions, I recorded approximately 40 takes on an iPhone. Of my line. Lines I don't know, but I picked.

[Vera Drew]

What I would describe as the most Scott Aukerman take.

[Randy Snuts]

I felt like I did about 40 reads. I was like, oh, the 40th one was actually good.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, no, but that's.

[Randy Snuts]

But I bet. I bet you didn't listen to it all the way through.

[Vera Drew]

No, I definitely. I definitely think the last one, like, if I may do it. Cool party. Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

Sure.

[Vera Drew]

The most fancy boy.

[Randy Snuts]

Wonderful.

[Vera Drew]

And people know it's the craziest thing is there's nothing about the design of the character to suggest it to you, but it is like, I mean, to my credit, I guess I'm a good director. Like, I did pick the Scott Aukerman take because people know it's you and.

[Randy Snuts]

The other people who are in it. You have. Tim is in it, right?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Tim plays Perry White. It's kind of a Alex Jones version of Perry White. Bob Odenkirk plays Bob the goon. Elliott Glaser plays a character named Timmy two times.

[Randy Snuts]

Sarah Squirm.

[Vera Drew]

Sarah. Maria Bamford now plays Lorne Michaels. Sarah was.

[Randy Snuts]

That's one thing you found you can't do.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Sarah was Lorne Michaels. She was in the movie before she was cast. And that was one of the after tips.

[Randy Snuts]

That's why she was cast.

[Vera Drew]

Yes. Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

No, I mean, I heard someone does a good impression of me. You're on the shoe.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, this is great. The People's Joker comes out this Saturday and after that we don't know. But how can people follow along with the saga?

[Vera Drew]

Can follow me @veradrew22 on Twitter. I also am doing a behind the scenes podcast for my Patreon. Patreon.com Vera Drew 22 and. And. Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

What's the 22 for? Is that the year that you started it or is it just rhymes?

[Vera Drew]

I think, I think there's also.

[Randy Snuts]

I think it does. You're right.

[Vera Drew]

There's.

[Randy Snuts]

Hold on. Let's. Let's test it out. Drew two.

[Vera Drew]

Drew two.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

And then the pretty extra two adds a little bit of. It adds like the syllable in between.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, people can follow it there. We're going to take a break and Vera, you can stick around. Right. Because we have some exciting. Did you hear who's coming up? We have they sound exciting. Yeah. Someone who cleaned ice out of a urinal once, at least. And then someone with an exciting opportunity. Pretty good for for this show. Not bad.

[Vera Drew]

No, no. You landed some good guests. I feel very honored to be among this illustrious group.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, well, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have more from Vera Drew. We'll have more comedy. Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. Flexibility, right? Flexibility in when and how you get your tasks done. It's important to you. With stamps.com, those tedious tasks like sending certified mail, invoices, checks or documents and packages can be done on your own time, not on someone else's. Take care of mailing and shipping wherever you are. Even on the go with the stamps.com mobile app. Oh, it's here. All you need is a computer and a printer and they even send you a free scale. You can easily schedule package pickups through your stamps.com dashboard and automatically see your cheapest and fastest shipping options from different carriers. We've been using stamps.com for over a decade now. It was one of our first sponsors and we've been using it since then.

[Joey Salsa]

They're great.

[Randy Snuts]

Have more flexibility. Flex. What is this word? Flexibility? No, it's flexibility. Of course. You want more of it, right? We'll have more in Your Life with Stamps.com Sign up at stamps.com and use the code Bang bang for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts, just go to stamps.com code bang bang.

[Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Commercial Insurance. Business owners meet Progressive Insurance. They make it easy to get discounts on commercial auto insurance and find coverages to grow with your business quote in as little as 7 [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company coverage provided and serviced by affiliated and third party insurers. Discounts and coverage selection not available in all states or situations.

[Randy Snuts]

Optimize your nutrition with factor America's number one ready to eat meal service. Factor's fresh never frozen meals are dietitian approved and ready to eat in just 2 minutes. Choose from 40 weekly options across 8 dietary preferences like calorie smart and protein. Plus Factor's keto meals can help you lose up to 8 pounds in 8 weeks. Get started at FactorMeals.com Factor50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box weight loss with factor keto based on a randomized controlled clinical trial results Will vary depending on diet and exercise. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Vera Drew is here, the people's joker. Out this Saturday at an odd time. 9:15. I would suggest getting there by 9 just in case something happens. It starts early.

[Vera Drew]

I'm, like, wondering if I should show up early just to be on the safe side.

[Randy Snuts]

I think you should show up early no matter what.

[Vera Drew]

I'm so traumatized from Tiffany that I worry that, like, it is just, like, not going to happen in some way.

[Randy Snuts]

Like, you might get one of those cease and desists, literally because of this show. Like, some, you know, the Brothers Warner are listening or something like that, and they send you another one. So we'll see. I mean, you're tempting fate by being on this show because it's a very popular podcast, Humanity's Podcast, and of course, the Animal Kingdoms. We need to get to our next guest. He is the aforementioned person who used to dump ice in a urinal or clean the ice that was in it or take ice out.

[Joey Salsa]

No, I used to dump the ice in the urinal and then the urine cleans the ice out of the urine.

[Randy Snuts]

That doesn't sound very sanitary to me.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, we've talked before about how cold your urine stream is.

[Randy Snuts]

That's a good point.

[Joey Salsa]

Everyone else's is incredibly hot and it melts the ice, which gives you a sense of.

[Randy Snuts]

Mine would make the ice even more ice, essentially.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

It would be a glacier.

[Joey Salsa]

Hence your perfect casting as Mr. Freeze.

[Randy Snuts]

Thank you so much, Mary.

[Joey Salsa]

You must have known, by the way, as far as a block interviews go. Yeah, no shade. That's the best, most interesting, informative interview you've ever conducted. I learned something. You were. You were at attention. And every. And every time you got called out, I was like, dang.

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, it's not bad. I think I'm getting okay at this after 14 years. In my 15th year, I'm like, I do all right. This was at. He used to do this job at my favorite restaurant, which is called what?

[Joey Salsa]

The Domios. D apostrophe.

[Randy Snuts]

The Domios.

[Joey Salsa]

Domios.

[Randy Snuts]

That's my favorite restaurant. Yeah. And he has his own podcast called. What is it called again?

[Joey Salsa]

Hey, Randy. A Randy Snuts show.

[Randy Snuts]

And that's over at CBB World. Please welcome back to the show Randy Snuts himself. Hello, Randy.

[Joey Salsa]

How could I possibly top that introduction? Are you.

[Randy Snuts]

Does every guest come on here trying to top their introduction? I mean, come on, you could just be yourself.

[Joey Salsa]

I couldn't do better myself, though.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, you don't have to. You're the guest.

[Joey Salsa]

You set a high bar, Scott, and I'll never reach it.

[Randy Snuts]

You are very complimentary today, Randy. I'm not used to it.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, you know, it's a new year, so I have new habits.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, that's good to know. This is Vera, by the way.

[Joey Salsa]

How you doing, Vera?

[Vera Drew]

Nice to meet you.

[Joey Salsa]

Likewise.

[Vera Drew]

Really admire your work.

[Randy Snuts]

Really? What do you know of Randy Snuts work? The ice part of it, or.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, yeah. And the particularly, I think I really resonate with, like, the. That feeling of power, like, when the ice is melting. And would you.

[Randy Snuts]

That was the other thing I didn't know. Like, would you dump the ice and that's the end of your relationship to that particular batch of ice, or would you come in and check on it all the time and see its progress?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, you have to come in and check to see if more ice needs dumping.

[Randy Snuts]

But. But would you check on it just to see how it's going without that part of it?

[Joey Salsa]

So you're saying, would I have a personal relationship with this batch of ice?

[Randy Snuts]

Like, you just want to know, like, is it melting?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, absolutely, I do. I want to know that other people are feeling their power.

[Randy Snuts]

Like, say you dumped a big thing of ice and they were like, randy, you're off the clock. You go home now. Would you, like, wait another half hour?

[Joey Salsa]

Can't do it. I'm giving you work for free. I got to wait until that last cube of ice is melted and then.

[Randy Snuts]

Watch someone else put the new batch of ice.

[Joey Salsa]

They shake their hand, Then we wash our hands together. Then we walk out.

[Randy Snuts]

Wonderful. Randy, it's so good to see you. You, of course, a longtime guest on this show. The saga of all of your comings and goings is leg legendary.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, thanks.

[Randy Snuts]

You have your friends Amber and Stu, of course.

[Joey Salsa]

They're on my podcast. My duplicitous girlfriend Carissa is on the podcast. And of course, our ne'er do. Well, libertarian friend Mark Catavano is on the podcast.

[Randy Snuts]

And what is going on with Carissa? You mentioned Carissa. But what. What is you. Are you guys. Because sometimes you come on here and you're broken up, sometimes you're back together.

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely. I mean, it depends on the. How her devious meter is. Is flowing.

[Randy Snuts]

Right. And where is it? Is it off the charts right now?

[Joey Salsa]

Right now? No, we're in a good place right now. Oh, good. Yeah. So we're together. I've started a new endeavor. Obviously, I haven't worked at Domeo's in a long time.

[Randy Snuts]

And why Is that I never knew why you didn't work there anymore. Suddenly I got there and. And there was no ice anymore. They just. They didn't have an ice budget or what exactly happened?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, they lost their ice budget and I was the first one cut. You know, pandemic hit. Pandemic hit. And they were like, hey, we got to scale back. We're going to take out. And I was like, so you don't need.

[Randy Snuts]

Would you. Did you pitch like, maybe I could throw some ice in the bag?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, ice in the bag.

[Randy Snuts]

And they could put it in their own toilet.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, I mean, you're reading my mind. I had written little handwritten things stapled to little bags of ice that.

[Randy Snuts]

Like little. Like little fortune cookies. But it was.

[Joey Salsa]

They all were the same thing.

[Randy Snuts]

What was it?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, they all said, if you dare dump this ice in your toilet at home and pee in it to get a sense of power.

[Vera Drew]

Why is it like. It kind of sounds like a threat.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. If you dare. Why. Why put the if you dare there? If you.

[Joey Salsa]

If you dare?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, cuz it seems like you.

[Randy Snuts]

First of all, you're calling people who don't dare cowards.

[Joey Salsa]

True. Implicitly, yes, absolutely. Why are you afraid to feel this power?

[Randy Snuts]

Right.

[Joey Salsa]

Why are you afraid to melt ice with your urine stream?

[Randy Snuts]

It's hot.

[Joey Salsa]

It's inside you.

[Randy Snuts]

But you bring up a good question, though. Why don't we have ice in our toilets all day? If it's so great in the urinal at restaurants, like, why don't we do it at home?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, because. Well, first off, you have to have like an ice machine. Not everybody has that.

[Randy Snuts]

Sure. But if you. But I mean, you could make the cubes yourself, like overnight.

[Joey Salsa]

True.

[Randy Snuts]

Dump them in in the morning, then refill them.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

And then by the time you need more ice, you know, maybe they're. They're ready again.

[Joey Salsa]

You know, I think that it might take away the special sensation of visiting, you know, an establishment and going into the bathroom and being like, I have to do my dirty business again.

[Randy Snuts]

So it's basically why you don't have a maitre d at your house. This is for the restaurant.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. And I'm not going to be a maitre d myself. You know, I'm not going to be like Carissa, this way. Sit down. I ordered pizza.

[Randy Snuts]

Although it sounds nice.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

She might like.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, she might like some special treatment once in a while.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

What do you do for her?

[Joey Salsa]

What do I do?

[Randy Snuts]

You do special things for her.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Randy Snuts]

Like what?

[Joey Salsa]

I say things like that was not duplicitous. You know, I. So I affirm her good behavior.

[Randy Snuts]

Right.

[Joey Salsa]

So you think the way that she treats me, I should be nice to her?

[Randy Snuts]

I don't know. I. Personally, I think you guys should break up. I mean, I've always said that.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, well, that's coming. That's coming up soon.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, you think so? You said you were in a good place.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I've broken up, like 785time. We're going to get back together.

[Randy Snuts]

Right.

[Joey Salsa]

You know, because I love the way you lie.

[Randy Snuts]

What, are you going to get married? I mean, do you see that in your future? Children, Marriage?

[Joey Salsa]

I don't know. Right now we're. We're a dink couple.

[Randy Snuts]

What is dink? What does that mean?

[Joey Salsa]

Double income, no kids.

[Randy Snuts]

Where does she work? I don't even know.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, I don't know. She's between jobs right now.

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, it's her, like, sink couple, right?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, true, true. But I got a new endeavor.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, yeah, Your new endeavor.

[Joey Salsa]

So, you know, like a couple of years ago, I bought a limousine off of Craigslist.

[Randy Snuts]

I guess I didn't know that, but okay.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, you didn't?

[Randy Snuts]

How would I have known that?

[Joey Salsa]

I announced that on the show.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, sure. Okay. I don't remember every single thing we've talked about on the show. I barely remember the name of my favorite restaurant, which is apparently Didomio's.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, okay, got it. You probably haven't been in a while.

[Randy Snuts]

No, I mean, you know, after Covid. No ice, no dice, no visit.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, no ice, no dice.

[Randy Snuts]

That's one of those rhymes that we were talking about with Vera.

[Joey Salsa]

Nice.

[Randy Snuts]

That's another one.

[Joey Salsa]

I know. Thrice.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Well, now four times, but yeah. Fries, fried rice.

[Joey Salsa]

Yep. There we go.

[Randy Snuts]

Hey, there we go.

[Joey Salsa]

That's the Pentagon.

[Randy Snuts]

I wonder how many times they have fried rice at the Pentagon. Do you think they deliver. Did they get food delivered at the Pentagon, or are people, like, not allowed to bring food in there? Because if so, that would be a major security breach.

[Joey Salsa]

I would think this is one of those chime ins Vera was talking about not being good for the podcast.

[Randy Snuts]

Why? I'm interested.

[Joey Salsa]

You want to take a tangent to talk about fried rice at the Pentagon?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay. I bet they have it every other day.

[Randy Snuts]

I hope so. I hope that for them.

[Vera Drew]

They probably do eat it a lot there because I think there is a food court that's like one of the, like, staples of food court.

[Randy Snuts]

Is it right there in the center of the Pentagon? That would be so Cool.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. It's so big. That's why they had to build it. They built a food court first.

[Randy Snuts]

There's, like, an Orange Julius and a Der Wiener Schnitzel.

[Joey Salsa]

Saro generals are going up there. Like, could you. Could you take a paper napkin and kind of press the oil out of that slice of Saro?

[Randy Snuts]

See, this turned out to be a good chime in.

[Joey Salsa]

It was. It was pretty good.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, good. Anyway, so your new endeavor.

[Joey Salsa]

I have a new endeavor. So I converted my limousine into a traveling karaoke station.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, I. Yeah, I remember something like this. So you would pick people up.

[Joey Salsa]

I pick people up. It's byob. They can bring in whatever they want.

[Randy Snuts]

Really?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, then you have to park if you want to drink.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, okay. If you want to drink.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I mean. No, if they want to drink, you can't drive around with.

[Randy Snuts]

I've always wondered, what is. What is the. The legality of having liquor in the back of a limo? Is it just because it's a limo and there's, like, a window in between?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, and the window on mine is busted, so.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, okay.

[Joey Salsa]

If we get pulled over, they're gonna be like, oh, the window wasn't up.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, like, if you were drinking in the backseat of my car and I get pulled over, could I just go? No, this is a limo.

[Joey Salsa]

Test your luck, my friend.

[Vera Drew]

Just install a window, I guess.

[Randy Snuts]

I guess. Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

There. See? I installed TVs. I got a karaoke machine at this vintage shop in town. I installed that, and now we're good to go.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, so how you did that? How long ago? About a year ago or so.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, no, I bought the limo a couple years ago, but I just recently converted into a karaoke station.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, okay.

[Joey Salsa]

Which is. It's been great. It's been very fruitful, and people love my hosting skills too.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, so you're. Are you driving while you're hosting?

[Joey Salsa]

I'm driving, and I have a microphone up front, and then there's one microphone in the back.

[Randy Snuts]

What's that? One for the people singing?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, well, that was implied.

[Joey Salsa]

It's not karaoke.

[Randy Snuts]

You said it like it was a special thing.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, you. It seemed like you were implying that the karaoke was. I drive around and sing karaoke, and people just sit in the back and booze it up.

[Randy Snuts]

No, I was not implying that.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

I just find it funny that you're hosting while driving. That's. That's all I asked you.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, it's just hosting. You know, I kick things off, and then, you know, I get the mood going with a song. You know, I. I have a couple standards that I'm really good at.

[Randy Snuts]

What are you good at? Which ones?

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, you want to hear it?

[Randy Snuts]

Not the song, but I just want to hear the title of them.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay. La Via Rose by Edith Piaf.

[Vera Drew]

Are you singing it in that language?

[Randy Snuts]

They're in that language, Absolutely.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. I could give you 15, 20 seconds. Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

Let's hear.

[Joey Salsa]

I've got bars.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay, hold on a second.

[Randy Snuts]

Hold on a second. Yeah, it was beautiful. For the intro part of it, it was.

[Joey Salsa]

I'm not a trained singer.

[Randy Snuts]

No. It sounded amazing. And then suddenly, like, what happened? The chorus came.

[Joey Salsa]

I'm not a trained singer. I'm not really sure. It all sounded the same to me, but I don't have an ear for music. I don't have perfect pitch.

[Vera Drew]

It sounded like range to me. Like, you've got.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've got no range. No. My music teacher.

[Randy Snuts]

You're like Bruce Hornsby when he went solo.

[Joey Salsa]

Abs. Oh, my God, the amount of times I've gotten in bar fights, because people are like, hey, you sound like Bruce Hornsby when he went solo. And I'm like, that's it. I'm gonna cut you up.

[Randy Snuts]

So if you have no ear for music, why are you doing this? Just. It's a money making opportunity.

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely. I'm an entrepreneur at the end of the day like anybody else.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Here's my Venmo code. Go ahead, scan it.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, here we go.

[Joey Salsa]

There we go. All right, now I'm going to request some cash for my.

[Randy Snuts]

Why?

[Joey Salsa]

Because I just serenaded you.

[Randy Snuts]

I didn't. I mean, I guess I did ask for it, but you offered.

[Joey Salsa]

You're asking for it all the time, my friend. Look at that outfit. Bare feet in the studio.

[Randy Snuts]

Hey, this is my home.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, still. Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

I can have bare feet in my own home.

[Joey Salsa]

I'm not saying you only have to ask for it out in public. Clearly, you're asking for it at home as well.

[Randy Snuts]

Hopefully I get it at home.

[Joey Salsa]

No kidding. You're making I got a joker smile looking at those feet. Right, Veer, how about you?

[Vera Drew]

I'm not gonna participate in this part of it.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

My friend is. My friend is looking exfoliated and hydrated down there.

[Randy Snuts]

Down there, there. Hey, my eyes are above my feet. Okay. Somewhere you got to find them, but they're. They're up a little bit.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay, I'm going up the body. I haven't seen them yet.

[Randy Snuts]

They're usually towards the top.

[Joey Salsa]

This is a feast for the senses, the sense of sight. Oh, there they are.

[Randy Snuts]

Wow.

[Joey Salsa]

Beautiful.

[Vera Drew]

It took you so long to climb up his body.

[Joey Salsa]

He's like six two.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, you're really resting on the midsection there.

[Joey Salsa]

For a long time I thought I'd see the eyes. There are a few things down there that look like the eyes, but it turns out it's just buttons and belts.

[Randy Snuts]

And bulges, of course.

[Joey Salsa]

Ah, yeah, that's true. The eyes. The crotch of the face.

[Randy Snuts]

For a minute I. I bet you thought that one of my eyes was popping out like a cartoon. But no, that was just my boner that I have while I record this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Joey Salsa]

Your. Your single eye shaped boner.

[Randy Snuts]

Single cartoon Popeye.

[Joey Salsa]

You got an earth, an early Matt Groening looking eye boner down there.

[Randy Snuts]

How would I describe my boner?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, 1987 Matt Groening eyes.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, this sounds great. So you, I mean, how much business have you received?

[Joey Salsa]

Pretty good business. You know, all you got to do is like you post a couple things on Craigslist. Local Craigslist is really active for us. There's a lot of people that have not abandoned it.

[Randy Snuts]

Really? There are a lot of sex workers there.

[Joey Salsa]

Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. Do people expect that from you when you come and pick them up? Are they like, maybe.

[Joey Salsa]

I mean, that explains some of the comments that I've gotten. But I don't discriminate.

[Randy Snuts]

You discriminate what people? Who.

[Joey Salsa]

Against sex workers?

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, sure. But no, but. So when you say you don't discriminate, if they want sex from you, you just give that. Give it to them.

[Joey Salsa]

No, I don't discriminate that. That's what they think. I offer and I say no, no.

[Randy Snuts]

Actually, I was gonna say your definition of not discriminating, very different. They come expecting a sex worker. You don't discriminate, so you do it.

[Joey Salsa]

No, no, no, I'm not discriminating. You're intimating that I am.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm not intimating anything. I'm just merely asking. Asking you questions.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay, well, my answer to that question is I say, no, thank you. I'm not looking for that. Would you like to listen to some karaoke of that? Do some. And then usually they're like, when they say.

[Randy Snuts]

And then do they say, when you say do some, what do you mean.

[Joey Salsa]

They do say that? They do say that. Yeah, absolutely. And then I'm like, what do you think I meant? Wink, wink. And then they're like, why did you.

[Randy Snuts]

Just say wink, wink?

[Joey Salsa]

Because that's what I say, when they say that.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, yeah, but I'm imagining them saying, why did you just say wink, wink, wink?

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, yeah, that's exactly what they say. And then I say, I'm just. I'm winking at you. You must know what I mean.

[Randy Snuts]

That's the thing. Winks have gotten a bad rap, haven't they? Because anytime you like, you wink at someone. It's suggestive, supposedly. It's like. No, it's just fun to do, you know? Go do it to your friends every once in a while.

[Joey Salsa]

Wink it at me right now. Yeah, no kidding.

[Randy Snuts]

It's fun.

[Joey Salsa]

Those toes are twinkling as much as your eyes see.

[Randy Snuts]

Now you're turning it into a weird thing. I'm just winking at you.

[Joey Salsa]

Why is it weird?

[Randy Snuts]

Like a friend.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay, the foot is the part of the body.

[Randy Snuts]

I can't argue with that.

[Joey Salsa]

There we go.

[Randy Snuts]

You got me there.

[Joey Salsa]

I'm not being weird by looking at your bare feet in studio. You're parading around showing us right now.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm not prancing. I'm not parading.

[Joey Salsa]

For those of you listening at home or at work or, I mean, wherever the hell you are, Scott's got his feet up on the table. He's twinkling his toes at us.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm doing sort of a wink with my toes.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. So this sounds great. I mean, what does Carissa think about all this?

[Joey Salsa]

I mean, she's against anything that gives me a sense of independence.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

So at first she was not happy about it, and then, you know, I took home a little bit of cash and I took her out to eat. Taco Bell Cantina.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, the fancy Taco Bell. I love that.

[Joey Salsa]

Yep. That way you don't have to sneak booze into the Taco Bell, right?

[Randy Snuts]

Yes, because they serve it or I haven't been in one.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, it's like Starbucks Reserve.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, yeah, Yeah, I love. Yeah, I should do Comedy Bang Bang Reserve or something like that where it's like a better version of this show.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, Comedy Bang Bang After Dark.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, yeah, we always do it.

[Vera Drew]

Have a Matt Groening Bone Boner whenever you want.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, exactly.

[Joey Salsa]

Like Peach Pit After Dark, but it's Comedy Bang Bang.

[Randy Snuts]

I always. I used to love that because Peach Pit was just the squarest business in the world. It was a 50s diner, and then it turned into the hottest club in Beverly Hills in the back. Yeah. And by the way, it was who used to run it, Nate. Was that his name? I don't remember. Whoever the owner was, he was like, Oh, I got this. This. Got this space in the back. It's like a gorgeous club.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

Beverly Hills.

[Joey Salsa]

He just had, like, diner supplies back there.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

And then they cleaned them out and it turned into the hottest club in Beverly Hills.

[Randy Snuts]

And by the way, where are these 50s diners in Beverly Hills? I don't think I've ever seen one.

[Joey Salsa]

They got run out of business.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Aaron Spelling pulled the plug.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Cease and desist.

[Joey Salsa]

Ceso and Desisto.

[Randy Snuts]

You a big fan of ciso?

[Joey Salsa]

I used to be. Still got the app on my Apple tv.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

It'll kick back to life someday. And guess what? It'll have technical difficulties.

[Randy Snuts]

That's right. Well, this is. This is great. Randy, you made some money.

[Joey Salsa]

Yep, I made some cash. It's a cash only business, so if you want to ride my limo, just bring some cash. Bring some ideas for karaoke songs that you want to sing.

[Randy Snuts]

Ideas? Well, what about just, like, names of them?

[Joey Salsa]

Of songs?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

You're splitting. You're splitting hairs right now.

[Randy Snuts]

I just. I just find it funny of, like, someone coming and going. I have so a few ideas I want to throw against the wall.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Like, maybe something with, like, music in it. Maybe something in four. Four time.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. I'd be like, you're on the right track. Keep going. Give me the title of a song and I'll plug it in.

[Randy Snuts]

There we go.

[Joey Salsa]

You know, bangers only. I'm not. I'm not.

[Randy Snuts]

You're a banger's only business.

[Joey Salsa]

A bangers only. You're Bob. Yeah, absolutely. Because I. I couldn't. You know, I haven't been able to afford, like, entire catalogs.

[Randy Snuts]

Right.

[Joey Salsa]

So I'm just.

[Randy Snuts]

You're not on the Internet on YouTube, because. Did you. You might try that, except. But I was doing it here at the house, and you got to play an ad before every song.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, right. Yeah. No, I don't want to do that. No, I don't want it. That would weigh people down when they're trying to make their decisions.

[Randy Snuts]

Do you have CDs or are they downloaded or.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, you need to CDs. Nuts.

[Randy Snuts]

Randy's nuts.

[Joey Salsa]

They're not on cassettes. Yeah, we have CDs. So it's bangers only. And, you know, it's. I mean, it's pretty good. People are. People are pretty pleased.

[Randy Snuts]

How many CDs do you have?

[Joey Salsa]

Probably like 14 CDs.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. This is not a lot of songs. You maybe fit 15 songs on a CD.

[Joey Salsa]

Yep. Yeah. Well, Violent Femme's Greatest Hits. That's like, 21 songs.

[Randy Snuts]

There's a whole karaoke CD for violin. Het Femme's greatest hits.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, it's not the karaoke. No, it's. It's actually. It's actually just the greatest hit cd, and I turn it down every time the lyrics pop up.

[Randy Snuts]

Like a D.J. at a club.

[Joey Salsa]

Like a D.J.

[Randy Snuts]

At a club.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. So it's like. Yeah, you know what? You know.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. I mean, that counts. I would sing along with it.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, absolutely. You seem like a Violent Femmes head.

[Randy Snuts]

Sure. Why not?

[Joey Salsa]

Cool. Milwaukee's Own in a battle to the death. Who would win? Violent Femmes or the Bodines?

[Randy Snuts]

Well, the Violent Femmes, I mean, it's all about the branding. You know, I'd be scared to go up against the Violent Femmes until I met them, you know? But the Bodines, it's like. I don't know.

[Joey Salsa]

They're probably Christo fascists now.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, this is great, Randy. I really respect your. Your hustle, your get up and go. Thanks.

[Joey Salsa]

Ain't no bustle without the hustle.

[Randy Snuts]

Mmm, good point. But how long do you think this is gonna last?

[Joey Salsa]

Probably a few months, like most of my other endeavors. Then I'll either get bored or sick of it, or I'll get fired from my own job.

[Randy Snuts]

How many. How does that happen? How do you get fired from your own, like, thing? I mean, have you ever fired yourself?

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely. You just get in a. You get in a fight with the boss, a verbal altercation. You know, I eat enough cbd, I'm bound to start talking to myself. If I say something to myself, I'm bound to disagree.

[Vera Drew]

You're eating so much much CBD that it's having a psychoactive effect on you.

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, you've been eating from, like. I mean, it's just goop, essentially. It's like, it looks like a. Like a massage oil or something like that that you've just been chugging right now.

[Joey Salsa]

Really sticky stuff. I melt down all the CBD gems that I can find, you know, because it. Most of them don't have more than 0.3% of THC legally.

[Randy Snuts]

Right. So you got to melt them down and separate the THC from the actual gem part of it.

[Joey Salsa]

You got to separate it chemically.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. You got to keep it separated.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

When I said chemically, I was quoting Brain Candy by Kids in the Hall.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, you were? Oh, interesting. I didn't realize you were a Kith fan.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I am a Kith BC fan.

[Randy Snuts]

Before what?

[Joey Salsa]

Brain Candy.

[Randy Snuts]

Brain Candy. Oh, that's the only thing you post everything they did pre.

[Joey Salsa]

Jesus Christ.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, Randy, this is fantastic. Can you stick around? Because we have a great guest coming up, and I would love for you to stick around.

[Joey Salsa]

I'll stick around for the podcast and I'll stick around afterwards.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, for what?

[Joey Salsa]

Just ask you advice on how to get your feet so clean and hydrated.

[Randy Snuts]

When you say hydrated, I mean, they're not wet or anything.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, but they're not flaking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

Feet in your life tend to flake.

[Joey Salsa]

In my life. Have you seen my friends Stu and Amber?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, I met them once.

[Joey Salsa]

Will you finally give me your phone number? I'll send you pictures of my friend's feet after this.

[Randy Snuts]

I don't think. I don't want to do that. But Randy Snuts is here. His podcast, hey, Randy, is out there on CBB World. We also have Vera Drew, the people's Joker. And coming up, we have someone with an exciting opportunity. So this is. I mean, do you think we'll be excited for them or.

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. We'll share in the excitement. That'll be incredible.

[Joey Salsa]

Let's do it. Let's bring it on. I can't wait to get this ad break faster.

[Randy Snuts]

Then we'll be beyond the ad break.

[Joey Salsa]

That will be beyond the ad break.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. All right, so let's do it. We're gonna all sit here in anticipation of the person's exciting opportunity. We'll have more Vera Drew. We'll have more Randy Snutz. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Gang after this.

[Announcer]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Randy Snuts]

Perfect. Or for your broken phone to glitch at the worst possible time. Hey, can I get your number? Oh. Trade in your old phone for a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brand new iPhone 16 Pro, iPad and Apple Watch. Visit verizon.com today.

[Vera Drew]

Additional terms apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

Service plan required for apple watch and iPad.

[Vera Drew]

The quarter pounder with cheese has many great things. Maple flavored griddle cakes isn't one of them. McDonald's breakfast with comes first.

[Randy Snuts]

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Vera Drew is here, director of the People's Joker. Going to be premiering this Saturday at Outfest. And then hopefully in your homes after that at some point where all of the America and the world can see it.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, I'm hoping.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

I mean, I. I really do want people to see it in a theater, you know? Cause it's. I worked really hard on it.

[Randy Snuts]

And also you want that Nicole Kidman thing to play in front of it because you were so into her in Batman Forever.

[Vera Drew]

Oh, that would be.

[Randy Snuts]

Do you have the same kind of thing when you see her going, you know, talking about AMC movies and all that kind of stuff?

[Vera Drew]

You know, I actually really am. You know, when those ads started, they did kind of give me some, like, warm nostalgia pings. But I feel like the, like, ironic appreciation now has kind of ruined it.

[Randy Snuts]

For a little bit. Bit. Everyone enjoyed it, ironically to the point where like 3 weeks ago I was there and people were applauding. And then since in that three weeks now, people are not applauding for it anymore, like, everyone's over it again.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, we might see like another cycle of that, but.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, yeah, but I. That would be cool to see it play before your movie.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, no, it would. It would be. It would be. It'd be great. Especially since we do have a fully CG version of her in.

[Randy Snuts]

In really cool.

[Vera Drew]

Kind of a. Here's what she looks actually.

[Randy Snuts]

What was her name in that movie?

[Vera Drew]

Dr. Chase Meridian. She's a psychologist. Fascinated with bats.

[Randy Snuts]

Because that's what psychologists do is they grow fascinated with someone in the animal kingdom.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

We also have Randy Snuts here. You a fan of Batman?

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely. I love Batman. All the works. I just remembered the other day that Burgess Meredith is the first penguin.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

That blew my mind.

[Vera Drew]

What reminded you of that? What made you.

[Randy Snuts]

Were you watching Twilight Zone episodes? And suddenly he went.

[Joey Salsa]

I was scrolling Twitter and Burgess Meredith was trending. This is weird. He's been dead since 97. What's going on?

[Randy Snuts]

What was going on? What did you find out?

[Joey Salsa]

I have no idea. It was just the new algorithm sucked so much. It was burping out Burgess Meredith and I was like, oh. And then I saw him with Cesar Romero. I'm like, oh, my God, that's right. He was a penguin.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Amazing at it.

[Joey Salsa]

I grew up watching the first one. I mean, I like them All. But you're right. It's gotten too dark.

[Randy Snuts]

Too dark. Let's go back pre Nolan to Batman. Having fun.

[Joey Salsa]

How about Batman in Godspell?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, that's fun.

[Joey Salsa]

That could be good, right?

[Randy Snuts]

As Jesus or as John the Baptist.

[Joey Salsa]

Or I guess he'd be John the Baptist.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Prepare ye the way of the Lord.

[Joey Salsa]

Yep. That's something you could bring into the karaoke boss.

[Randy Snuts]

That's right. I sang that in high school. I played that role in high school. And I came from the back of the theater, and I walked down the steps toward the stage barefoot. I tried. And then apparently the choreographer, who was a former student, who was maybe a couple years out of high school, who came back to help out with choreography, she. I was not there for one rehearsal, and she made fun of the way I walked. It did an impression. It scarred me for life.

[Vera Drew]

Oh, Jesus.

[Joey Salsa]

Wow. Scared the shoes right off you. That's great. Well, yeah, you should absolutely sing that. I'd be honored if you sang that.

[Randy Snuts]

I would love that. Let's set that up at some point. How do I get a hold of you? Do I call you or how.

[Joey Salsa]

You can leave a voicemail on my voicemail. We're always taking voicemails. We love our callers. Seven seven, nine, three.

[Randy Snuts]

Wait. This is the voicemail from your program to book your Uber. I have to call and you sift through those?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, I sift through those. And hopefully you just give me an address and I pick you up. But it's 77937.

[Randy Snuts]

That doesn't seem like the most expedient.

[Joey Salsa]

Let me get through the number. I'm trying to promote a show on your patreon. Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

Our patreon, but go ahead.

[Joey Salsa]

779-379-2679.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm just saying it doesn't seem like the most expedient way to book your services. Oh, yeah, because so many people are calling for your podcast.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, you could text it as well.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

We take texts.

[Randy Snuts]

You take texts. So you sift through those to find out who wants to book your Uber for a karaoke.

[Joey Salsa]

Yep, Absolutely.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. All right. Right. Well, we'll see.

[Joey Salsa]

Give it a call.

[Randy Snuts]

Maybe some people. You might get some business after this comes out.

[Joey Salsa]

I hope we get voicemails pertaining to the podcast, but if I get business, too. Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, great. Well, speaking of business, we have someone who has an exciting opportunity coming up, and he's been on the show once before. Please welcome back to the show, Joey Salsa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thanks for having me. Don't expect me to top that Intro. That was fantastic.

[Randy Snuts]

I don't expect anyone to top any intro. I mean, I don't even think that intro was all that good. You were on once before.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gave my name. You said the information. I've been here once before. That's true. And I gotta say, as a frequent listener this time and the one other time I've been on here. Best B block I've heard. Best A block.

[Randy Snuts]

So wait, you listened to the one episode you were on before?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You make us sit here before we talk. I don't know if people know that.

[Randy Snuts]

So, I mean, where else are you going to be?

[Scott Aukerman]

I could be running errands.

[Randy Snuts]

What kind of errands would you run?

[Scott Aukerman]

You could give me an estimate of what time I needed to be here and I could walk in. But no, it was fantastic. I learned the phrase dink. Never heard that before. Vera called you a fancy boy in a block. I liked that. You kind of just let it roll on right. We named it.

[Randy Snuts]

I didn't take offense at that.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Vera Drew]

Should I have no tone. Complimentary, right?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Based on his feet, how could he not be fantastic?

[Scott Aukerman]

We named the look of your boner. It was all fantastic. There was also some musical stuff in there, and that is my wheelhouse.

[Randy Snuts]

That's right. You're a composer, Is that right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I like to write musicals that. My hope is that they're musicals that don't exist. Last time I got burned a little bit by that.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, last time you came on and I guess you were doing. You got deep into the role of. You were writing a musical about Alexander Hamilton and you got. Got very deep into the process where you weren't even looking at phones and you didn't realize that a very popular musical had already come out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I was living like Alexander Hamilton at the time. My musical was called Alexander the Great, not the one you're thinking about. Hamilton. And then I started presenting it. And you said that a lot of my songs were very similar to the songs.

[Randy Snuts]

It was very weird because musically they were note for note.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that could be. My stepson writes most of my music and he turns these tunes around real quick.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. And he wasn't doing the whole process of not.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm writing the lyrics, and then I give him these lyrics and he just comes and he's like, I got the track.

[Joey Salsa]

And I'm like, wow.

[Randy Snuts]

It sounds to me like he's not a writer. He's a guy who bought an instrumental CD of the latest Hamilton.

[Scott Aukerman]

I honestly could be. I went home, I tried to Talk to him. Locked himself in the room for weeks. Didn't let me get a word in edgewise. But anyway, I realized my mistake was that I'm not Alexander Hamilton. So if I'm writing about.

[Randy Snuts]

Hold on. Your mistake in writing this musical is that you're not Alexander Hamilton?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yeah, because what do they always tell you in writing? Vera can help me. Write what you know.

[Joey Salsa]

Write what you know. I would have made the same mistake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, yeah. So I'm writing about. I was trying to write about things that people might not know about. But then I was like, no one knows about me. Why don't I start writing about myself then? It can't be anything that's ever been done before.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, great. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is actually my life.

[Randy Snuts]

Every human being has a unique perspective upon this world. So this sounds good. So you've written a musical about your own.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So I was trying to think, what's my best time of my life? When did I really get happy? And I was thinking it was mostly when for a little while, I would go to small town to small town and I would try to.

[Randy Snuts]

Why the small town?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, because. Well, after I finish my sentence, you'll figure out. Because I was trying to scam these people into thinking that I was a music guy and that I would. I'd get all the kids to buy instruments, and then they'd give me all the money, and then I would leave town. And so if it's a big town.

[Randy Snuts]

This is something you used to do. I used to go from town to town as a musical instrument salesman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Loved it. Yes.

[Randy Snuts]

And. But they would give you half the money, or how much would you take? Would you take all of it?

[Scott Aukerman]

I said as much as I can. Yeah. Say, hey, come on. Don't worry. I know the guy. I know the guy. Let me place the order.

[Randy Snuts]

So they would place the order for these instruments. You would skip town before the instruments.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it was. It was. It was amazing. And so then I said, well, let me write. Let me write a couple of songs about that.

[Randy Snuts]

You know, I mean, it's a very interesting life. Do you have a song?

[Scott Aukerman]

I do have one. I actually have a few, but why don't we start with the first one?

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. So this is based on your life as a traveling salesman or as a traveling con man. Correct. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

76 trombones led the big parade. That is way too many trombones. There's only 82 kids that are even in the band. Why did everybody pick to play trombone? Here's my theory. Why it happened Randy Johnson picked first and he's a cool kid, so everyone did what he did. But now I got so many trombones and I got no flutes or drums. And two kids carry in the front the flag, they die. So now it's mostly trombones and the song doesn't have trombones. And what are you gonna do with all the trombones and everything?

[Randy Snuts]

And. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, let me. Joey, Salsa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

First off, I. I have to say, when you mention the premise of this, you know, the execution can differ. Everyone can have the same idea. There's a lot of parallel thinking in art.

[Joey Salsa]

Multiple discovery.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Armageddon and Deep Impact.

[Randy Snuts]

Exactly. But the execution, you hope, is a little different. And yours is a little different.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great.

[Randy Snuts]

Maybe not different enough. I do have to say that the song 76 trombones exist exists in a musical with the exact same premise as your life, called the Music Man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, mine's called the Instrument Guy, so it's different in that way.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is the song all about how there's too many. 76 is way too many trombones.

[Randy Snuts]

No, it's the perfect amount in that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Randy Snuts]

They love the fact that there's 76.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trombones in a small town.

[Randy Snuts]

I know it. Yeah. It doesn't make. I mean, yours makes more sense. Wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

I guess the thing that doesn't make as much sense is why do you care how many trombones there are? Because you're not even.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's the one. That's the one town that I stay in. So I actually did actually, again, that's kind of more of an ending song. But I want to start strong.

[Randy Snuts]

And that's how the musical ends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I don't exactly remember, but it's pretty close to the end. It's pretty close to the end. Yeah. And so it's like. And so that's me actually leading and I lead the band through it and. But then it's just.

[Randy Snuts]

That's when they get their instruments.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trombone, trombone after trombone after trombone.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. How many trombones is too many Trompones, would you say?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'd say over four.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Wait, so, but you had 72 more trombones to sell to this small town. Your inventory must have been pretty big.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no, well, because I just do it on Amazon. Right. So once they.

[Randy Snuts]

Are you a prime member?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, I joined.

[Vera Drew]

Gets so expensive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Just to watch the show.

[Joey Salsa]

So the title makes sense. You're a third party instrument guy, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Randy Snuts]

Did you consider calling it Third party instrument Guy instead of just the Instrument guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm open to that. I was trying to go. I thought last time I made the mistake with too many words in my title. Title. So I was trying to.

[Randy Snuts]

What was it the last time? The Hamilton.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alexander the Great. The one you're thinking of. Hamilton.

[Randy Snuts]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so this time I thought I'd just keep it compact.

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, it definitely tells you what you're in for. The third party instrument guy. I mean, you know, he's not a guy who's, like, out there making the instruments, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, absolutely.

[Randy Snuts]

He's not a guy who carries them around with.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. I sometimes do this with my hands, which I know isn't great for podcasts, by the way.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, for podcasts, he's like sort of conducting an imaginary orchestra.

[Joey Salsa]

Conducting like, tar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly, Lydia.

[Joey Salsa]

Or should I say Linda? Duh.

[Randy Snuts]

You a big tar fan?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, I watched it on an airplane.

[Randy Snuts]

You a Tar Heel?

[Joey Salsa]

I'm absolutely a Tar Heel. I'm one of Dean Smith. Boys, I love the movie Tar. Rest in Power. Dean Smith.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, that's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Well, that's.

[Randy Snuts]

I think it's a little too close.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Vera Drew]

It sounds like the same. Is your. Your stepson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

Your composer still. Because it also sounds exactly like music from.

[Randy Snuts]

It sounds like he just got an instrumental track from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay. All right.

[Randy Snuts]

Well, maybe sort of like the instrumental tracks that Randy here plays on his.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Maybe you could hook up with his.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I'm also not a music guy. This is just. This is all temp audio, if anyone's wondering. I'm not. I don't.

[Randy Snuts]

This is temp.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I need to be the star of this.

[Joey Salsa]

I'd love to borrow those. Or I'd even. I'd even reward you handsomely for it because like I said, I mean, almost none of my tracks are instrumental.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, fantastic.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, that's almost.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's like. That's what. Yeah. I'm here just to make money and stuff, so if that. Yeah, if we want to set something up, that'd be awesome.

[Randy Snuts]

Right?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, here's some cash in my pocket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, heck, yeah. Thank you.

[Randy Snuts]

How much did you just give him, Randy?

[Joey Salsa]

$3.

[Randy Snuts]

I don't know. That's enough for one song.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got some more. So maybe by the end of this, I'll have, like $15.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, well, you have five songs. Okay, let's get to the second one then.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yeah, so. Okay, so there was this one town where this kid, he was a real wiener of a kid, you know? But I was trying to sleep with his mom, and so I'd hang out with him and he'd always.

[Randy Snuts]

Did you ever get there?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think maybe at the end of the musical, like, I'll grab her butt a little bit and wink. So you think that it might happen.

[Randy Snuts]

Now, is that a wink, like a suggestive wink, or is that a wink between friends?

[Scott Aukerman]

Good point. That one actually was suggestive. But my shoes will be on, so it'll be confusing for the audience. So this next one, he would always sing about how much he loved his town. And so this would be this is this and this one. Musicals, I realized, are long. They take forever. And so this song to write or to watch, I mean, to both of them, really. They want them to be like, you know, a couple hours, because they want intermission. They want to sell drinks. So I had to get.

[Randy Snuts]

I saw six the other night. It was 90 minutes, no intermission.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, there you go.

[Randy Snuts]

I felt a little cheated.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's my point. And that is exactly my point. Point. So this song, I'm. I'm.

[Randy Snuts]

It's about like a six implies it's going to be six hours.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. I was thinking.

[Randy Snuts]

Turned out it was the number of performers.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was thinking six songs.

[Randy Snuts]

It's like it could have been either. I thought it'd be the hours number of performers.

[Scott Aukerman]

The woman from Blossom. Yeah. While we're doing topical Beverly Hills 90210 stuff, let's dip into a Blossom reference.

[Joey Salsa]

4, 6. She was an icon and we didn't recognize it.

[Scott Aukerman]

She started hats from what I remember. Yeah, she.

[Randy Snuts]

She did.

[Joey Salsa]

She was the first person on TV to wear hats.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. No one was allowed to. It was like, remember the I Love Lucy where they couldn't even go to the bathroom or mention she was pregnant. That's right. And then, like, no one was allowed to wear hats until Blossom. And then suddenly, like, everyone's wearing them. People don't remember it first.

[Scott Aukerman]

First toilet was on Leave it to Beaver.

[Joey Salsa]

That's what Joey said when he saw Six's hat.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. He's like, you can't wear that.

[Joey Salsa]

That was a sketch racer. You can't wear that.

[Randy Snuts]

You can't wear that. So you have another song.

[Scott Aukerman]

So.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this. And this song. I'm gonna be really long. I'm thinking like maybe a 45 minute song.

[Randy Snuts]

45 minutes. Oh, okay. Just to pad out, kill up some time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. This is number two. Yeah, Number two.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. All right, here we go. This is from the instrument Third party. Instrument guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gary, Indiana. Gary, Indiana, not Louisiana. Paris, France, New York or Rome and. Or not Buffalo or Phoenix or Seattle or New Zealand or Madrid or other cities. Here are some. Minneapolis, Englandale. And there is another town and another city that I'll tell you about, and it's not that.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, I gotta stop you here. So your plan is to do a 45 minute song where you just name places that are not Gary, Indiana, even though you've named Gary, Indiana at the very top of a song.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't tell me that happens in the other. In the other one.

[Randy Snuts]

No, there is a song called Gary, Indiana in the other one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

But it's a point of pride about. The little child is very proud to be from Gary, Indiana, and sings about its qualities, not just what it is not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Huh.

[Vera Drew]

This does sound like an interesting nihilistic, kind of depressing version of the music.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Depressing, boring.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, those are. Are qualities that I think I connect to. Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Really flips it on its head, though, when it's just not these other cities. You're like, dang, that's.

[Randy Snuts]

There's a lot of cities that.

[Joey Salsa]

That are not like Gary, Indiana. Yeah, I would probably around like the. You said that song was 45 minutes long. Yeah, probably around like minute 30. I'd. I'd say Gary, Indiana again and be like, whoops.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, right.

[Joey Salsa]

No, it is Gary, Indiana.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, Sorry, everyone.

[Joey Salsa]

Then go back to other cities.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or put a reminder in there, I am in Gary, Indiana, not. And then go back into the knots again.

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely.

[Randy Snuts]

I mean, to be. I guess I didn't realize how many cities there were. I thought there were maybe 20, but it seems like there's a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And even in. In my thing, he's. He lists some countries too.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, okay. Like which?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Zimbabwe, not Paris, France. New York.

[Randy Snuts]

That's not a country. France.

[Scott Aukerman]

France. Paris.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

France.

[Randy Snuts]

You got one. And then Paris, France.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then Louisiana is a state, which. So it's not just cities. I'm opening it up, I guess.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, Got it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

All right. You have a third song.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do, yeah. Okay, so this one. This one. I think women should. Should learn from men about when to kiss. So I wrote this song.

[Randy Snuts]

See, this is not part of the play. No, no, it's just a song you wrote about what you think women shouldn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is part of the play. It's my friend, he's my sidekick, and he sings about when women should kiss.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, here we go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, a woman who kisses on the very first date is Usually a hussy. And a woman who kisses on the second time route is anything but fussy. But a woman who waits till the third time round Head in the clouds Feet on the ground she's the girl you glad you found she's your Sha Poopy Sha Poopy, Shapoopi Sha Poopy that girl is not a whore Shapoopi chapupe.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, all right. It was exactly the same until. Until the chorus.

[Scott Aukerman]

No way. There's no way that a musical about a music man and has a character just singing when. When women should kiss on dates.

[Randy Snuts]

No, no. There is your interest in the original writer, Meredith Wilson. I believe's interests really align. Wow. Incredibly. But the only difference was the original course is Shipoopy. Shipoopy. The girl is hard to get. Not the girl is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, modernized, I guess. Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Too modern.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. It's the song choice, the melody itself. Your stepson is you, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Because if it were a different melody, then, you know, it would probably be unrecognizable.

[Randy Snuts]

Does he give you the melodies first and you write the lyrics to it or vice versa?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I write the songs. I write the songs and then it just. He gives me the song. And the tracks, they match up perfectly. I thought it was like Elton John and his writing partner, Bernie Taupin, Right? Yeah, but much like, you know, if.

[Randy Snuts]

You'Re going to be a songwriter, you should, like, learn the names of other songwriters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Much like me and my stepson. I don't want anyone. Anyone didn't think of my stepson.

[Randy Snuts]

What's his name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's not even get into that.

[Randy Snuts]

Let's not get into it.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Because then all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, where's he getting these songs from? This guy's a genius all of a sudden, you know? But then Elton John, me, Joey. Salsa is what it's all about.

[Randy Snuts]

You're the Elton John in this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

It's still going to be about you. Okay, we're not trying to give your stepson credit. We're trying to give him criticism.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Okay. Then his name's Doug.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, Doug Salsa.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I wish. He refuses.

[Joey Salsa]

You want it? You want him to take your last name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'd like to. Nothing else has my name. Except for, of course, as the stuff you dip in.

[Randy Snuts]

Right? Yeah, that's the one. The one thing that shares.

[Joey Salsa]

And the dance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I feel better about it now.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, but what would it give you if he took your last name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I guess I.

[Randy Snuts]

Feeling of power. Much like peeing on ice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. It feels like I maybe feel as if my life might be worth. You know, I've created something. I left something behind, not just a failure. At every attempt, I try to create art, and I'm failing again and again.

[Randy Snuts]

This is only your second appearance, right? Well, yeah, you'll fail many more times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, fantastic. All right, great.

[Randy Snuts]

You have another. The song.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do. Well, so. Okay, this one wasn't going well, obviously, I can tell. So I will. Let me just adjust completely. This is a different time in my life. I was kind of a complicated story. I was learned music by a nun who came to live with us and have sex with my dad. And she would teach us. Kind of like.

[Randy Snuts]

She came there expressly to have sex with your dad?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I guess the nunnery was, like, being really mean to her and, like, telling her they would, like, write songs about how she. I don't know, was a weirdo or something. And so she came here and. And then they were like. I think they were actually trying to do it in a weird way. So I think they were winking.

[Randy Snuts]

This is a different musical or this is part of the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is. Oh, no.

[Randy Snuts]

The third party instrument.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, this is a different one. I'm adjusting. This one isn't fully finished, but I do have this song.

[Randy Snuts]

So you came here prepared with two musicals?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yeah, and then I do. If I need to adjust again, I can adjust again.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, okay. Okay. So what's this song about?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this one's about. This is like, kind of me learning about how to sing, basically.

[Randy Snuts]

So this is you learning how to sing?

[Scott Aukerman]

She would teach me and then I would also. This is like my. As a child. This is me learning with my siblings and stuff. So we're all. We're all singing. All right. Doe, a deer, a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun. Me, a man looking for Russia, poopy. And girls, they always kiss too soon. So I tell them they're a slut or I'll tell them they're a whore. I can't bring you to meet my mom. It's the third date when you kiss. Duh, duh duh. Dumb. You slut.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, all right. I have to stop, okay? I don't like that kind of talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Randy Snuts]

Fair on. On. On this program or any other badir. No, no.

[Joey Salsa]

How dare you bring animals over this.

[Randy Snuts]

The shaming of that kind of language is not. It's not for pleasant conversation.

[Vera Drew]

Does somebody hurt you or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good. Great question. Well, that was actually trying to do on that one was I was going to show you as a child, and then how I. How I. How I change. Like, that's so. That's me as a child thinking those are child problems.

[Randy Snuts]

But what happened to you personally to give you this sense that women should kiss on the third date, and if they don't, they need to be denigrated like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I think that's just the perfect time to kiss.

[Randy Snuts]

Based on what? You. You. You have a wife because you have a stepson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Well, I guess here's. Maybe here's what we're not. It's like I'm a man, and I think that I know what's best for women. Is that. Am I not getting that across?

[Vera Drew]

That part of it? Yeah, it's very hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Well, yeah, maybe my dad used to whistle. He used to have a whistle, and we'd all line up and then line.

[Randy Snuts]

Up to do what?

[Scott Aukerman]

To just be inspected or to. Oh.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh. I thought you meant to take turns on the whistle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, we'd never get this whistle.

[Joey Salsa]

There's a lot of patterns here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wish we could whistle. I wish we could whistle, but. Okay, I'll just do one more because I feel like maybe I'm not representing.

[Randy Snuts]

You brought two more tracks. Okay, well, you're just gonna do one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I'll do one, and then you can decide if we'll call the audible.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, what's this next one?

[Scott Aukerman]

So. So this is now. This is to show you how I've grown as a human. This is. I.

[Randy Snuts]

This is much later in life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Much later in life. I was living in. In New York City, and I was at the every. I lived in this place at the first of the month. The guy who owned the building always wanted me to pay money, and I hated to do that.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hated giving.

[Randy Snuts]

We know where this is going.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hated giving him money on the track. And so this is a song just about how I hated giving this guy money at the first of the month. And. And so you got to understand, this is in New York City with all my friends.

[Randy Snuts]

No, I understand all of this. Yeah, it seems like you're vamp.

[Scott Aukerman]

525,600 minutes. 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes that is too long to wait to be Masha Poopy. It's the third date. It's the third date. How can I make this clear?

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, I got to stop you before you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Before you.

[Randy Snuts]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. I don't say any of the This. I don't say anything, but. No, it's a good stop.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, it was a good stop, I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't, don't, don't, don't.

[Joey Salsa]

Wait, so you didn't denigrate women in that one?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, no, because this time they waited too long. I think they waited a full year. And I think that is. I think we can all agree if you.

[Randy Snuts]

What if the dates only come, like, one every four months?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, then it would be the third.

[Randy Snuts]

Date, but it would be a full calendar year.

[Joey Salsa]

That is perfect.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I gotta add a second. I gotta add a second.

[Randy Snuts]

You gotta add a second verse.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's from it. Not.

[Randy Snuts]

No, that's from a different musical already, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. From a different one. Yeah. No, no, no.

[Randy Snuts]

This is from a different one that also exists, named by the name of Rent.

[Joey Salsa]

Doug, you again, man.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

What does your wife say about all this? Because, like, you're actually, like, you're being deceived by your stepson. What's your wife's name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, would you believe it if I actually don't have a Shapoopi?

[Joey Salsa]

What?

[Randy Snuts]

What?

[Joey Salsa]

You have a stepson without a Shapoopi?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I.

[Randy Snuts]

What happened to the Shapoopi?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I started talking about some of my beliefs about other people. You know, she'd introduced me to her friend. She'd say, have you met Carolyn Brand? And they started dating. And then I found out that sometimes they would kiss on the first date, and I'd be just horrific to them the entire time they were over. And so she eventually. Yeah, she eventually.

[Randy Snuts]

She left.

[Joey Salsa]

She left, but she also left.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, because the game. Says the game system set up in his room. He was just used to that, so he didn't wanna.

[Randy Snuts]

I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, kids these days, they're always playing their games.

[Joey Salsa]

They love their gaming. What gaming system is he onto?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Twitch Switch. He's playing. He's playing.

[Randy Snuts]

He's playing Switch on Twitch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he watches. He watches Switch on Twitch?

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, he just watches it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He's not even.

[Randy Snuts]

So when you say the game is going. It's a tv. Tv.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He could go anywhere.

[Joey Salsa]

He puts it in CPU mode, in demo mode, and he watches it on Twitch.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

Get Doug in here. Sounds like an interesting.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doug, come.

[Randy Snuts]

Doug, salsa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Or Doug, whatever his name is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

I would love to talk to him at some point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Randy Snuts]

Because honestly, like, these songs have been a bust.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

That. I, I. You know, if truly this is parallel thinking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Randy Snuts]

I have to say, it's really Impressive that you keep hitting on these things that are very, very popular with minor slaps. Slight alterations.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I'll take. I heard a couple positive words in there, so I'm willing to take those.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Minor. Slight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

I would love to hear a song that's just about how you. The positive things about kissing on the third date.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. What do you like about kissing on the third date?

[Joey Salsa]

What feels good about it? Is it the anticipation? The buildup? I've had two dates that went well.

[Scott Aukerman]

We know each other now. We're not kissing just to kiss. We actually want to. If we waited for the fourth date, of course, then there'd be too much pressure on that fourth date. Because then it's like, well, we haven't kissed. Are we friends? And a full year. I mean, don't even get me started. Of course. Unless it's once every four months, like you busted me on. But otherwise. Yeah, once.

[Vera Drew]

Always looking for that technicality.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. Sorry. The loophole.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do have. I do have one final song. It's about.

[Randy Snuts]

Do you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

We could always save it.

[Randy Snuts]

But no. No. Why save it when we can spend it right now and never talk about it ever again?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So this. This actually is. Well, when my wife was leaving, I was texting. You can start. You can. You can hit six.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, I can. Oh, I can play. Thank you so much.

[Joey Salsa]

6. Put a hat on.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I was texting with my wife's sister and then she texted me something. And because of where the comma was placed, because of where the comma was placed, I figured maybe she actually likes me and maybe she was trying to date me. And so this is a song. I wanna fuck. I wanna suck. I wanna fuck him. I wanna fuck. I wanna suck. I wanna fuck him. I want to take down my pantaloons and put my butt in the air and put his butt next to my blower. Butt bubble. I invented that. Yeah, we invented two butts. I'm making a bubble and sucking. And I want to suck him. I want to suck. And that's what I want to do to him. It would be nice. And the butt bubble, don't forget I invented that. And he. Here's the part where I act it out.

[Randy Snuts]

Please don't act it out.

[Vera Drew]

Oh, God.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, Jesus. Okay, stop. Joey, you sang this last time? Yeah, did you forget?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I just. I liked that one.

[Joey Salsa]

That's a banger.

[Randy Snuts]

You got bangers.

[Joey Salsa]

You can sing that one in my boss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, heck, yeah. Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. So I made $3, and I got a. And I got a gig.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I'll give you. I'll give you some more cash for that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, two more dollars. Five dollars and a gig.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Wow. Well, Joey, look, I. I would wish you luck, but I don't want you to have luck because I don't want someone like you to succeed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I get it.

[Joey Salsa]

You know, not a new boundary drawing for Scott.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, we're running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called Plug.

[Vera Drew]

I am sitting in the morning listening to the podcast. I am waiting for Scott Aquaman to open up the plug bag. And he opens it only halfway, but then opens. Opens it fully.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we're hearing all the plugs the.

[Vera Drew]

Guests have to share.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have a feeling someone watching me.

[Vera Drew]

And so I raise my head There's a man on the outside looking inside. Does he see me? No.

[Randy Snuts]

Joey, is this you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sees?

[Vera Drew]

He's only.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love how original this song is.

[Vera Drew]

Scott Aukerman. Hey, Scott. Scott. I'm listening to Comedy Bang Bang right now. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a piss pig as well.

[Randy Snuts]

Scott. Scott.

[Vera Drew]

Hey, can I get some more coffee over here?

[Randy Snuts]

That's for my.

[Vera Drew]

Fill this up. Halfway. Then start talking to our customer. Come on, Tom. You gotta do your job.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. Thank gosh. Wow. That was Plug's Diner by Michael Muto. Or Muto, not sure, but this might.

[Scott Aukerman]

Be one of your most musical episodes of all time.

[Randy Snuts]

It really is. Yeah. I mean, from the Comedy Bang Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Theme to that, the singing earlier. Maybe we should. Is there a way to get.

[Randy Snuts]

I wasn't gonna include that. You want a soundtrack put out? Is that what you're angling?

[Scott Aukerman]

I was wondering if there's a way that we could, like, advertise to music lovers that this is the episode to check out. Like, could we somehow get this in the Broad? Is there, like a Broadway museum or something?

[Randy Snuts]

There should be a Broadway museum where they have, like, Broadway theaters in there.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, like a Songs hall of Fame. Songs only.

[Randy Snuts]

Songs only. So there would be one wing that's just for songs only.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. What? No, the whole hall of Fame is for songs.

[Randy Snuts]

Just for songs.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

So you, what, you walk in and you just hear the songs? Because.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Then it could be a small museum.

[Joey Salsa]

It's a fucking mess. All the songs at once. People would go crazy and they'd run out. But they have to pay admission first.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe we open it next to the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. And then if you can't get in, or if you want to Go to another one. You come over to songs, make a little bit of money on the top.

[Randy Snuts]

You guys are really on the same wavelength.

[Joey Salsa]

You get the overflow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

Seems to me like you're getting excited by this idea and you might abandon the limo idea.

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely. No.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay. Sorry.

[Joey Salsa]

No way. It's all bangers. Everything's going great. You know, Joey's gonna join me in the limo. It's gonna be fantastic. Okay.

[Randy Snuts]

All right.

[Joey Salsa]

I don't understand these new boundaries, Scott.

[Randy Snuts]

What new B. Look, I want you. I want you to succeed, Randy.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, thank you.

[Randy Snuts]

If you're happy.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, you want Joey to fail?

[Randy Snuts]

Yes, I want Joey to fail. All right, let's plug things. Vera, what do you have to plug? Obviously, the People's Joker is coming out. How do people get tickets for the.

[Vera Drew]

This on the Outfest website? I will say it's a very confusing website.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay.

[Vera Drew]

But.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, what's confusing about it? The way, like, I'd say I describe.

[Vera Drew]

It as top heavy. There's just a lot of links and.

[Randy Snuts]

Sort of like that.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. I mean, that could be complimentary in other contexts, I guess.

[Joey Salsa]

But top heavy bottom feeder right here.

[Vera Drew]

If you Google.

[Randy Snuts]

So when it applies to a woman, it's great. But a website, it's bad. What are we even doing?

[Joey Salsa]

Joey? You should write a song about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it. I'm already done.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Vera Drew]

Just follow me on Twitter. Veer drew 22.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah. You'll direct everyone there. Anything else happening for you that you want to plug? This is your plug time.

[Vera Drew]

No, I mean, just be on the lookout for the people's joker. Hopefully.

[Randy Snuts]

Be constantly vigilant.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. And bother wake up nervous. Like, tell James Gunn to not sue me.

[Randy Snuts]

I'm sure he won't. He's pretty chill about these things. Again, that's a pun.

[Vera Drew]

Yes.

[Randy Snuts]

Based upon my character, Mr.

[Scott Aukerman]

Freeze.

[Vera Drew]

He's still in character.

[Randy Snuts]

I know. I've never left.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Surprised you.

[Randy Snuts]

It was like two years ago. You contacted me and I recorded this for 60 seconds on my phone.

[Joey Salsa]

I'm hoping for a theatrical release. Obviously. I love the magic of the theater. Just like Nicole Kidman. I think that's when the Venn diagram.

[Randy Snuts]

Feels good in a place like that.

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely. The Venn diagram of me and Nicole Kidman is we like movies.

[Vera Drew]

Right.

[Randy Snuts]

And nothing else.

[Joey Salsa]

My. Have you ever been to Australia? Is there a VOD release plan?

[Vera Drew]

There will be. I'm very confident about the VOD release plan. The thing we're holding out for is theatrical, and that has been the kind of big sticking point. But I Can't get into the specifics, but I do have people smarter than me hopefully helping us put together an art house run on the end of this year or sometime early next year.

[Randy Snuts]

How about December 25th? That's a great day.

[Vera Drew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Perfect time for a third date too, right at the end of the year.

[Randy Snuts]

Randy, what do you want to plug?

[Joey Salsa]

I'll plug season three of Righteous Gemstones on hbo.

[Randy Snuts]

That's right.

[Joey Salsa]

It's out now at stream on Max.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, sure. I don't know what that means, but okay.

[Joey Salsa]

That's an Instagram handle. Check it out. Yeah, so that's coming out right now. Catch up on that. Shrink is streaming on Peacock. I believe it's been extended for another 12 months, which is great.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, that's wonderful.

[Joey Salsa]

And what else? I think I have plans to put out the hentai zine that I made for you.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, great. Oh, you do?

[Joey Salsa]

Limited release. Maybe a little sale for charity.

[Randy Snuts]

That's right. You were at our live show in Los Angeles and you made a little hentai magazine for me.

[Joey Salsa]

I did, yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

And since then, I still have no idea what hentai is.

[Vera Drew]

Sure.

[Joey Salsa]

Yep. I think there's something up in the sky.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a.

[Joey Salsa]

It's a bat signal that says bullshit.

[Randy Snuts]

I think I mentioned it to cool up and I said, is it this? And she said, not really, but. And Joey Salsa, what do you want to plug first?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll get to the bottom of that hentai mystery for you and I'll come right back. I'll text you, I'll call, whatever works.

[Randy Snuts]

Sure.

[Joey Salsa]

Hentai musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. If you're in la, you can watch Holy shit. Improv Live. It's a great comedy show with all your favorite comedy bang bang performers. You can also watch it from anywhere in the world at our Patreon. And on this Saturday, we made sure.

[Randy Snuts]

To end it before even communist China.

[Scott Aukerman]

Especially.

[Randy Snuts]

Especially.

[Joey Salsa]

It's not jail blocked in communist China.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we have a workaround. We have a great workaround. So we're excited. And we have a all day improv festival that we're ending at 9pm this Saturday. So everyone can come to the improv festival and then go check out Veer's movie.

[Randy Snuts]

Oh, it ends right at nine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ends right at nine.

[Vera Drew]

That must be why it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's why you did 9:15. We're one one 15 minute travel time.

[Randy Snuts]

And you're there.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're there. We got. We got Edie Patterson, Lily Sullivan, John.

[Randy Snuts]

Gabris, Lisa Gilbert back in town.

[Scott Aukerman]

She confirmed that she's Doing the show. So we see and, and yeah, we're just keep checking it out. Check out all of our shows. We're going to start being every other week at ucb and I think we're the only streaming show at ucb. So if you want to see what UCB looks like on an improv thing, go to. Holy shit.

[Randy Snuts]

Improv. Guess what? You're going to be disappointed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, but we have some camera angles. Not we. They have a camera angles, lighting. It's pretty cool.

[Randy Snuts]

I want to plug. Look, first of all, the comedy Bang Bang book is still out there going strong. There may be some news about it coming up about a new edition. So stay just tuned to this show. Show one of these episodes. I'll tell you about it. But people can get the info for that anywhere. Books are sold. But [e-mail] book while you're at CBB World. Look, we have so many great shows. Hey, Randy.

[Joey Salsa]

779-379-2679.

[Randy Snuts]

That's right. Hey, Randy is now out twice a month from what I'm told. And yeah, it might be a lot of other CBB presents.

[Joey Salsa]

You heard it here first.

[Randy Snuts]

That's right. We have Heinz Improv to meet you. You as well as this book changed my life.

[Joey Salsa]

Bill Walton.

[Randy Snuts]

Bill, yeah, Walton on Walton. As well as. What's his other show called? It's the Not Walton on Wal. But I mean he did those but you know he travels the world and stuff like that. So many good shows over there. As well as ad free episodes of this show as well as our back catalog. Don't go too far back. Maybe one or two years and wait.

[Joey Salsa]

Wait, so you're saying that people can go far back but you just. You're saying one.

[Randy Snuts]

Yeah, please don't go. Yeah, just one or two years maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you stand by everything that was said in this episode.

[Randy Snuts]

Not everything you said necessarily, but I mean when did you stop listening, Vera?

[Vera Drew]

Maybe like around like up till two years ago.

[Randy Snuts]

Okay, yeah. So I mean before then Dicey, right?

[Vera Drew]

Yeah, I was outraged and I stopped listening.

[Randy Snuts]

But all of that is over [e-mail] as well as all of our other shows and an exciting time over there right now. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Joey Salsa]

That's good.

[Vera Drew]

Look at her.

[Randy Snuts]

What are the lyrics that.

[Vera Drew]

Open up that blow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Randy Snuts]

That was simply closing a wonderful plug bag by Chuck Dunker. Dippy Dots. What am I doing with my life? I want to thank my. Thank of my guests. Hey, Grazi. Grazi. Grazi. Very Drew Grazi. Great to see you.

[Vera Drew]

You revealed your real accent.

[Randy Snuts]

Finally.

[Joey Salsa]

Finally, a barefoot contesso.

[Randy Snuts]

Randy, always good to see you. Please come back. Joey, you told me that you want me to play track six again for you. Is that right? All right, here we go. This is Joey Salsa. Thanks for being here.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to understand, it was a text that my ex's sister sent me. But because she put the comma after dear instead of the comma after another spot, I thought maybe she's interested in me. So then I wrote this little song that goes a little something like this. I wanna, I wanna suck I wanna him.

[Randy Snuts]

All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Goodbye. I wanna, I wanna My f. This.

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[Randy Snuts]

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[Vera Drew]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Try Jack's new Crispy Boneless Wings from.

[Randy Snuts]

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[Vera Drew]

Smoke show smoky barbecue sauce.

[Randy Snuts]

Enjoy so much more.