Can A Bird Do A Foxtrot? (Martin Starr, Erin Keif, Jon Mackey)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Can A Bird Do A Foxtrot?"

Release Date: October 20, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Martin Starr, Erin Keif, Jon Mackey (as “Dr. Reginald Barbary”), Louis Pantano (seagull character)

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Episode Overview

In this character-filled episode, Scott Aukerman welcomes back the actor Martin Starr (“Freaks and Geeks,” “Silicon Valley,” “Tulsa King”) for his eighth appearance after a seven-year break. Scott and Martin discuss Starr’s latest projects, especially the Hulu remake of “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle,” his new candy company Sweet Stash Jams, and much more. Mid-episode, Louis Pantano (as a seagull character) returns, lamenting his Hollywood struggles. In the last segment, Jon Mackey appears as Dr. Reginald Barbary, an eccentric medieval physician with questionable diagnostic practices. The conversation ricochets between genuine industry insight, wild comedic tangents, and meta-character gags.

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Main Themes

• Martin Starr’s Career Comeback: Discussion of Starr’s roles, especially in “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle” and “Tulsa King.”
• The Sweet Stash Candy Venture: Martin’s post-acting business making “Jams” (musical note-shaped gummies).
• Hollywood and Showbiz Satire: Through both earnest conversation and absurd character interjections.
• Scott’s Comic Banter: Riffs on podcasting, streaming services, and cultural references.
• Absurdist Character Comedy: Especially through the arrival of Louis Pantano (a talking, showbiz-craving seagull) and Dr. Barbary (a "medieval" immortal doctor).

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Episode Breakdown & Highlights

1. Martin Starr Returns: Candy, TV Shows & Hulu Thriller

(01:25 – 18:00)

• Scott and Martin joke about comedy catchphrases for 2025 and “Comedy Bang Bang. We Care.”

  • “It used to be humanity’s podcast.” (Scott, 02:30)
  • “I’m the guy that does that [changes podcast headings]” (Martin, 02:44)

• Run-down of Martin’s career:

  • “Freaks and Geeks,” “Silicon Valley,” “Tulsa King,” movie credits, and cameo guest roles.
  • Discussion on “Hand That Rocks the Cradle”:
    • It’s a Hulu remake, with Scott ribbing Martin about the plot and his character:
    • “Some would be surprised. You do not play the baby in the titular cradle.” (Scott, 17:44)
    • “Dude, come on. Spoiler alert.” (Martin, 17:50)

Sweet Stash Jams:

(05:29 – 09:49)

• Starr’s edible business—musical note-shaped gummies “Jams,” made in Omaha, shipped online (copacker in Chicago).
• Emphasizes all-natural ingredients, no artificial coloring.
  • “We don’t use any of this stuff that we—that are knowingly, you know, carcinogenic or cancerous.” (Martin, 09:39)
• Playful product placement and banter about candy & legal disclaimers.

Story Tangents:

• NFL rivalry story in Chicago’s train station (mix-up and classic CBB riffing).
• Making movies, screeners, security hoops (13:12 – 14:47)
  • “Had to pee in a cup and then they really get you with the Authenticator app.” (Martin, 13:47)

Podcast-Within-A-Podcast Jokes:

• Scott’s imaginary podcast “Scott Hasn’t Seen” (14:43)
  • “We talk before we watch the movie... then we talk about that movie.” (Scott, 15:10)
  • “Cultural Osmosis” as a running joke title.

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2. Hollywood, Reunions & Absurdist Riffs

(18:00 – 30:00)

On Acting, Friendship, and Haircuts:

• Martin’s Tulsa King “Prince”/ “Jester” role, beard maintenance as character continuity joke.
  • “I am slowly cutting my hair through the season… by the end of the season, my hair is like 4 inches shorter than it was.” (Martin, 16:33)
• Discussion of “Freaks and Geeks” reunion possibilities:
  • “Probably making candy. Is it the most autobiographical role you ever had?” (Scott, 26:19)

On Candy Entrepreneurship:

• Will Sweet Stash make a peanut butter cup?
  • “That’s kind of trademarked and would be really frowned upon... We’d get sued, like, pretty bad.” (Martin, 27:34)
• Bags can be ordered in multiples of five, in theory up to infinity.
• Tangent about auctions and bidding (28:40)

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3. Character Invasion: Louis Pantano the Seagull Returns

(39:12 – 56:41)

Introduction to Louis:

• Recurring CBB bit—Louis Pantano, a talking seagull, aspiring actor, and current houseguest of Scott.
• Louis has been sleeping in Scott’s car and yearning for showbiz success.
  • “Every time I walk into a room, I can hear Martin kill it in an audition. He’s so funny. And then I go in and it’s just crickets.” (Louis, 44:29)
• Ongoing foil to Martin:
  • “Judd looked me in the eye one time and said, everything you can do, Martin can do better. That was sobering and a lie, because you can’t fly, right Martin?” (Louis, 43:34)
• Talks about painful auditions (bloody nose from a seagull attack), lack of acting roles, desire for a comeback via “Dancing with the Stars.”

Dancing with the Stars:

• Louis claims he’s on the show, details about swooping on Andy Richter and Robert Irwin.
• Seagull tap dance with bottle caps, injury, and existential doubt:
  • “Who am I kidding? Dancing with the Stars is about having a comeback, and I’ve never even arrived in the first place.” (Louis, 50:06)

4. Dr. Reginald Barbary: The Medieval Immortal Physician

(61:02 – 88:01)

• Outlandish physician character introduced as a “medieval” doctor using ancient, often gross, diagnostic methods (“butt huffing,” mouth sampling, etc.).
  • “I believe that things have gotten a bit too complicated in the health space… I just want to make sure you’re all healthy.” (Dr. Barbary, 63:39)
  • “Butt huffing… you take the gases released by a person, whether it’s mouth or any other orifice…” (Dr. Barbary, 65:50)
• Claims to have lived since the age of King Arthur, can’t die, “no return business.”
• Easily drawn into gross-out and body humor, blurring the line between medical practice and perverse behavior.
• Ongoing plugs for his “Reginald Barbary's Medieval Medicine Factory.”
  • “You can Google it…” (Dr. Barbary, 63:32)

Immortality, Presidents, and Bodily Jokery:

• Running gags about U.S. presidents’ anatomy, infamous incidents (George H.W. Bush vomiting in Japan), dick size chat.
• Meta-commentary on podcast tropes and Howard Stern.
  • “I knew if a bunch of guys were on a podcast together, we would start talking about dick size. I mean, WTF with Obama?” (Scott, 76:48)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Martin and Scott on Branding:

  • “You’re so busy and yet you’re doing all of this podcast work on the side.” (Scott, 02:47)
  • “Surprisingly not that busy because I’ve got a lot of time to do this.” (Martin, 02:51)

• On the Hulu Movie:

  • “You do not play the baby in the titular cradle.” (Scott, 17:44)
  • “Dude, come on. Spoiler alert.” (Martin, 17:50)

• On Auditions & Acting:

  • “What percentage of your jobs did people feel bad for you and just gave you the part?” (Scott, 43:25)
  • “If I’m being totally honest, I think all of them. 100%.” (Martin, 43:28)

• Louis Pantano’s Bitterness:

  • “Judd looked me in the eye and said, everything you can do, Martin can do better. And that was sobering and a lie, because you can’t fly, right Martin?” (Louis, 43:34)
  • “Every time I walk into a room, I can hear Martin kill it in an audition… and then I go in and it’s just crickets.” (Louis, 44:29)

• Dr. Barbary’s Methods:

  • “It’s nature’s bag. Why would you need any other utensils?” (Dr. Barbary, 62:10)
  • “Classic butt huffing, which is, of course, where you take the gases released by a person, whether it’s from mouth or any other orifice…” (Dr. Barbary, 65:49)
  • “I would say it’s about 90% diagnosing through butt huffing, then 10% clerical work.” (Dr. Barbary, 68:28)

• On Immortality:

  • “It is your dream to die.” (Scott, 80:27)
  • “I hope that you’ll get there someday. I really do. I hope that for everyone.” (Scott, 80:28)

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Notable Timestamps

• Martin’s intro & banter: 01:25 – 03:00
• Sweet Stash Jams & candy business: 05:29 – 09:49
• Movie screeners & industry annoyances: 13:12 – 14:47
• Tulsa King, beards & episodic TV jokes: 15:46 – 16:55
• Candy entrepreneurship / legal fears: 27:02 – 27:44
• Louis Pantano (Seagull) returns: 39:12
• Dancing with the Stars talk: 41:13 – 46:09
• Tap dance attempt: 48:18 – 49:02
• Immortal Doctor Barbary (Jon Mackey) enters: 61:02
• Barbary’s bizarre diagnosis methods: 65:49 – 68:00
• Dick jokes / president anatomy: 76:28 – 78:15
• Plugs: 83:17 – 91:20

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Final Plugs

• Martin Starr:

  • Sweet Stash Jams – Musical note-shaped gummies. sweetstash.com
  • The Hand That Rocks the Cradle – Hulu, drops Wednesday.
  • Tulsa King – Currently airing, Paramount+.

• Louis Pantano (Seagull/E. Keif):

  • Hey Riddle Riddle podcast tour info.
  • Donate text code to vote for Louis on “Dancing with the Stars.”

• Dr. Reginald Barbary (Jon Mackey):

  • Reginald Barbary's Medieval Medicine Factory – Google it (location “secret”).
  • Brett DeMott Show podcast; Big Grande production plug.

• Scott Aukerman:

  • Comedy Bang Bang throwback shirts on podswag.com.
  • Comedy Bang Bang action figures at figurecollections.com.

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Tone, Structure, and Takeaways

This episode is an emblematic Comedy Bang Bang experience:

• Freewheeling, meta, character-heavy, and unafraid of body humor.
• Genuine conversation about the business side of acting is quickly derailed by playful absurdism.
• Quotes and callbacks reinforce the show’s distinct world of recurring jokes and surreal guest “experts.”
• For new listeners, this episode is a perfect introduction to how Comedy Bang Bang blends showbiz talk, deadpan parody, and outlandish improv into something unique.

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Additional Quotes

• “I’m just a seagull with a colon porn addiction, who lives with his best friend, Scott.” (Louis, 55:41)
• “I would say it’s about 90% diagnosing through [butt huffing], then 10% clerical work.” (Dr. Barbary, 68:28)
• “My neck. My neck. Respect my neck.” (Plug Bag Song, 90:32)

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In Summary:
This episode is a rich mix of showbiz insiderism, entrepreneurial hustling, and surreal character comedy—highlighted by Martin Starr’s dry wit, the sad-sack ambitions of an anthropomorphic seagull, and the outrageous anachronisms of a medieval immortal diagnostician. Plenty of quotable lines, callbacks, and the classic CBB rhythm of earnestness pummeled by irreverence make it an essential listen for fans old and new.

Transcript

[Louis Pantano]

They say if you want to go fast, go alone.

[Amica Insurance Announcer]

But if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we know what matters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Most to you.

[Amica Insurance Announcer]

And we work even.

[Louis Pantano]

Harder to protect it together. As a mutual insurance company, we're built.

[Amica Insurance Announcer]

For our customers and prioritize your needs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amica empathy is our best policy. Visit amica.com and get a quote today.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Deadlines move fast.

[Martin Starr]

So should your takeoffs.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

With Lowe's blueprint takeoff, you can turn blueprints into competitive quotes. Bring us your plans, and we'll generate itemized material lists to make quoting faster and easier. And when you're ready, we'll deliver everything you need straight to the job site. Visit the pro desk today to get started. Lowe's we help you save.

[Scott Aukerman]

An apple a day. Keeps the doctor away. But a thoroughly modern Millie a week lets Carol Channing speak. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Ah, that tickled me. Thank you to Dickie England for that catchphrase submission submitted in January of 2023. Thanks so much for that and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have an exceptional show coming up a little later. We have a returning guest and we also have a physician. A physician is going to let us know and everything about what they. Their specialty. I would imagine. Maybe they're more of a general, broad practitioner. Not. When I say broad, I don't mean, of course, a woman that. We don't call women that these days. That's not what this show's about. Because at Comedy Bang Bang, I don't know if I've mentioned it recently, but we care. Comedy Bang Bang. We care. That's our new tagline for 2025. What do you think about that?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Yeah, I really love that tagline.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's a good one. Right?

[Martin Starr]

That's the one.

[Scott Aukerman]

It used to be humanity's podcast.

[Martin Starr]

I'll change it on Apple Music or whatever you people. You know, people get your podcasts. I'll change it. So you'll change it. That's the heading that you see now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you do that for all podcasts or just mine?

[Martin Starr]

I'm the guy that does that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the guy?

[Martin Starr]

I'm the guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're so busy and yet you're doing all of this podcast work on the side.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, surprisingly not that busy because I've got a lot of time to do this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you? Okay, well, we'll talk about why you have so much time, but let me introduce you. He is the star of so many television shows that you know and love growing up. Freaks and geeks.

[Martin Starr]

That's one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Silicon Valley.

[Martin Starr]

That's two. Yeah. We've reached our limit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm struggling to think of a third.

[Martin Starr]

That's it. That's so many, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

But so many. But he also is in a television show called Tulsa King.

[Martin Starr]

That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And any other regular television work that's pretty much that. You've guest starred on a lot of stuff.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, buddy, you want to talk about Hawaii 5O, I got you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Coincidentally, I do. What's the 5O stand for? The 50th state.

[Martin Starr]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Last one to concede because I thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

That it was Alaska, but shouldn't it be called Hawaii 49?

[Martin Starr]

I'll. You know what? I'm going to go on Apple Music and figure this out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great. Thank you so much. He's also been in movies. We're talking the 40 year old virgin that.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, yeah, right. Is that how old he was? Damn, that's late to get your first fucking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you just put that together? That that's what that title meant?

[Martin Starr]

Oh, I was like in my teens when we made that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, right. Did you think it was a 40 year old movie?

[Martin Starr]

40, 40 sound. I was like, my grandpa's 40. Like, what's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Are you a virgin?

[Scott Aukerman]

He has a new movie coming out this Wednesday on Hulu called the Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Yeah, the hand. The very hand that rocks the cradle.

[Martin Starr]

You can rock a cradle with many appendages.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. You probably just lean into it with your side and it would kind of go back and forth a few times.

[Martin Starr]

Look at you, avoiding appendages altogether.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. It would be uncomfortable to stand that way all night. Perhaps be a workout.

[Martin Starr]

Sounds like you've tried. Babies prefer the hand. So we went with the Hand that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rocks the Cradle and rocking the cradle. And that's why you went with that. In addition to the fact that it's a remake of a movie that was titled the Hand that Rocks the Cradle.

[Martin Starr]

Wait, what? Yeah, it's a remake.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's out on Hulu this Wednesday. I have seen the film, but. But let's welcome him. He is joining the exclusive eight Timers Club here on Comedy Bang Bang.

[Martin Starr]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please welcome back Martin Starr. Hey, how's it going? Now, not only are you joining the eight Timers Club, but your first seven were before seven years ago. You haven't done the show in seven years.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, well, there's a reason for that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is there really?

[Martin Starr]

I've been busy making candy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are Making candy. I buried the lead. I didn't talk about this in your introduction, but you brought some for everyone concerned here. It's called Sweet Stash Jams.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Sweet Stash is the company name. I'm. I'm taking it.

[Martin Starr]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Jams are the candy.

[Martin Starr]

Fucking. You're good at this, dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I'm surprised to learn that jams haven't been a candy up to this point. It just seems like certain candy should have been called jams.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, I think Bob Marley should have made jams. I don't know why he didn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think you could license the Bob Marley song? How much. How much could it possibly be to license the Bob Marley song for a commercial?

[Martin Starr]

Oh, God. It's got to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

To get a sync license.

[Martin Starr]

That's got to be cheap, right? Like, who's going Bob Marley these days?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. These are gummy candies that you decided to make. Let's. You know, let's forget about your movies and all the rest of it.

[Martin Starr]

Let's get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's just talk candy.

[Martin Starr]

Wipe the slate.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. You. These are candies in. Gummy candies in the shape of musical notes.

[Martin Starr]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

That you are making with some friends.

[Martin Starr]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

And these are sold nationally? Internationally.

[Martin Starr]

Right now we're just in the Midwest, but we're. I mean, we're online, so you can get them wherever you live. But how's that work?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you, like, put them in a box and go down to the post.

[Martin Starr]

Office and that's what we do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

And then you just wait at home and it eventually makes its way to you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I guess people could order online, then come by, swing by and pick it up.

[Martin Starr]

You could actually. No, we don't offer that service.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't really know swing bys.

[Martin Starr]

You know what? I lied. We don't do swing bys.

[Scott Aukerman]

No swing. So where are you located out there in the Midwest?

[Martin Starr]

Omaha, Nebraska.

[Scott Aukerman]

Omaha. And that's where the factory is. That's where you make everything. Package everything.

[Martin Starr]

We have a co packer cocker going into the weeds. I think our co packer is in Chicago.

[Scott Aukerman]

That should be a football team, shouldn't it?

[Martin Starr]

The Chicago co. Packers. I don't think Chicago's gonna want anything with the word packer in us.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want.

[Martin Starr]

I don't know, though. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I once, in 1993, was in the train station in.

[Martin Starr]

Sorry, what year was that again?

[Scott Aukerman]

1993. How were you doing, freaks and geeks at that point? Or were you.

[Martin Starr]

You mean 1993.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. 1993.

[Martin Starr]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you born then? I would imagine you were, but, yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Real born how born at that point, were you? Oh, I was like 11 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Born 11 years. Not yet. Barely legal. And you were. And you were. So I'm in. I'm in this train station in 1909. Or. I'm sorry, 1993. Thank you. And someone is walking around in a Green Bay packers full regalia, hats, jersey, everything.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then I spied two Chicago people wearing the same outfit, but for the Chicago. Whatever. Bears. Right?

[Martin Starr]

Bears. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they conspired and they said, let's go kick that guy's ass. Let's go push him into a corner and kick. Wait, that guy's ass.

[Martin Starr]

You brought the two most hating his teams in the NFL together to kick your ass?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, it wasn't me. I wasn't in the Green Bay.

[Martin Starr]

I thought you were. Oh, I miss.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, they. No, no, no. They weren't conspiring to kick my ass, although they should, because that would have.

[Martin Starr]

Been an incredible story of connection and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Friendship if I had gotten involved somehow in the story, like leapt up and called an officer or something. Yeah, but you're making candy. And what do these taste like? Is it like fruit sour? Fruit sour? Sweets. What are we talking?

[Martin Starr]

We run the gamut. We got sours and sweets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sours and sweets in the same packaging.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how do people go? What is it? Sweets? Sweetstash.com.

[Martin Starr]

It'S more on the tart yet. It's Sweetstash.com. it's more on the tart side, but yeah, we like. We make a gum. It's. Look, if you like gummy candy, give it a try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just give it a try. And what.

[Martin Starr]

I stand by it.

[Scott Aukerman]

What separates it from the other gummy candies in the world? Is it the shape? Is it the flavor? Is it a combination of both?

[Martin Starr]

I'd say the quality. We, We. We skimped nowhere in making sure that it. Where.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where do other companies skimp in the.

[Martin Starr]

Artificial colors and flavors?

[Louis Pantano]

Really?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, yeah. We don't use any of this stuff that we. That are knowingly, you know, carcinogenic or cancerous or, you know, whatever the fucking word for it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Yeah. So. So no. And no one's going to get sick eating these things other than.

[Martin Starr]

I hope not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Martin Starr]

I mean, you could probably just. You could get sick if you put them in your nose, I guess. And also, by the way, you make you sick.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can die from eating anything if you eat too much of it.

[Martin Starr]

Thank you for pointing that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know how many pounds you would need to eat of this, but if you just kept eating it, that's.

[Martin Starr]

Actually the legal disclaimer that we have on the bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boy. I tell you, America these days always having to put the. Ever since that McDonald's cup spilled in someone's lap.

[Martin Starr]

Was that, wasn't that a $20 million lawsuit?

[Scott Aukerman]

It was, but.

[Martin Starr]

Holy shit, when you burn my fucking hand, dude, when you actually investigated it.

[Scott Aukerman]

She was in the right. But actually, look, look up the story.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, because it was so hot, wasn't it, that she had, like, third degree burns?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not only that, there was all sorts of mitigating factors, but, you know, they. Jay Leno dumbs it down. It just goes, yeah, why? Someone spilled the coffee. They got $20 million, Jay.

[Martin Starr]

Hold on a second.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jay Leno, Jay Leno. Did you ever see his. Were you ever on his Tonight Show?

[Martin Starr]

Is he the waste that, that rocks the cradle? No, I, I, Is he still around?

[Scott Aukerman]

If you mean on television, no. If you mean off television, yes. Okay, but are we, you know, if we're off television or off podcasting? Like, do we even exist?

[Martin Starr]

Are we real?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Let's talk about your television work. You're on these amazing, amazing shows.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're also on Tulsa King, and with, with one of our ambassadors.

[Martin Starr]

Yes, he's an ambassador.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. He's one of Hollywood's ambassadors, the great ambassador. Is he out there telling you what you can say, what you can't say?

[Martin Starr]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sticks to the work.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, we have a very, like, John.

[Scott Aukerman]

Void's in the corner over here telling us what we can and can't say. So.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, I mean, our views are different in a lot of ways, but when it comes to being on set and working together, I have a really great time working with them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you, does he ever tell you Rocky stories or anything like that? Rambo stories?

[Martin Starr]

I, you know what? Not specifically. He talks about.

[Scott Aukerman]

You ever tell you a story and you think it's about him, but then it turns out he's just telling you the plot to Rambo too?

[Martin Starr]

Twice. And I shouldn't have fallen for it the second time, but God damn, he just tells a good story. And I was like, holy shit, he's, he's got me again.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a great, great story.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, Rambo 2, specifically. And then he also read me John Vo's autobiography. Oh, really? And I thought that was his life story until we got to the end.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you thought he Was at Midnight Cowboy, Anaconda.

[Martin Starr]

Good for you. That's what I kept saying as he was telling the story. Good for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you. Then you happen to look just down waist level. And he had John Void's book open in his.

[Martin Starr]

I didn't. I would. I should have looked down. You know what? That's a good idea. And I didn't think of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, he's got such magnetic eyes.

[Martin Starr]

I was wrapped.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Just looking at his eyes, even though he was looking at the book.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

I should have followed his eyes to the book.

[Scott Aukerman]

He should have. Always follow anyone's eyes wherever they go.

[Martin Starr]

I just follow eyes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're in the middle of the third season that's airing right now.

[Martin Starr]

Yes. Where? That's airing now. When we start the fourth? Soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

So then you're doing this TV show.

[Martin Starr]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then suddenly you're in this movie. I don't. How does this. How does this work?

[Martin Starr]

Golly, I'll never know. These things baffle us, don't they?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't get it. Now I have seen this movie. Would that surprise you?

[Martin Starr]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Especially with the hoops that fucking Disney makes you jump through to watch it.

[Martin Starr]

They said you're a screener and you had to, like, put in your password and a drop of blood.

[Scott Aukerman]

So I had to. I had to do.

[Martin Starr]

Put your baby in front of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

New password on. They go. Go to a. Go to a mobile device and log into this. So I did.

[Martin Starr]

And then it says, that's cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go to a computer now and log into this. So I went. And did they go. Go back to the mobile device and do this. Then I did that.

[Martin Starr]

Pee in a cup. And then they really get you with the Authenticator app.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Generating random numbers every 60 seconds. I had to, like. Then I finally found the numbers and I put them in and they were wrong and start all over with the whole process. Then finally I got to watch this movie as the director intended, with my email emblazoned across the screen. The entire movie.

[Martin Starr]

Michelle loves that aspect of it. Like, specifically. In fact, everyone that watches on their Hulu, their email is. Yeah, it's. It's a watermark. Intended movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's Interact Interactive in a way.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. You feel like you're a part of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. But I've seen this movie. It's great. It's a thriller. It is, of course, a remake of the thriller from the, I believe, the 90s. Rebecca.

[Martin Starr]

92.

[Scott Aukerman]

92. Rebecca de Mornay is Rebecca De Mornay.

[Martin Starr]

I've not seen the original Annabella Siora. You haven't?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have not, no. Scott hasn't seen. That's the title of My God Hasn't Seen.

[Martin Starr]

Is that the name of your new podcast?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the name of my podcast. Been going for four years now, actually. You gotta be on it.

[Martin Starr]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm getting a verbal commitment from you.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, you just talk about movies you haven't seen. That's fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I don't see them either.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, I just talk about them. Do you go based on title or you. How do we. Do you read anything? Wikipedia?

[Louis Pantano]

I.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you really want to get into the weeds on how this podcast is.

[Martin Starr]

I love Weeds.

[Scott Aukerman]

We talk before we watch the movie. We talk about what we know about the movie from Cultural Osmosis. We watch the movie and then we talk about that movie.

[Martin Starr]

I think Cultural Osmosis should be the actual name of your new podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Or Cultural Osmosis Jones.

[Martin Starr]

Thank you. One of those that needs a reboot.

[Scott Aukerman]

People are clamoring for it. Much like Tron. Did you see Tron?

[Martin Starr]

There's more of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you imagine? You have Jesus. You have a Jared Leto kind of thing about you. Let me finish. In the sense of you have.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, God, I have too much facial hair.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a. You have a beard. Is this the. Is this your Tulsa King beard or is this your.

[Martin Starr]

It's hard to take a compliment out of that. Yeah, this is my Tulsa King beard.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is. So this is the look that your character has on Tulsa King.

[Martin Starr]

I'm the Tulsa Prince.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you? Are. Do. Were you to arrive on set one day and just go like, you know what? I just thought, what would they do?

[Martin Starr]

And that is my voice. I'm the. I'm clearly the Tulsa Jester. And thank you for noticing. No, I. I don't remember how things happen, but somehow I have long hair and a beard on the show, and I am slowly cutting my hair through the season. That happens currently.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that true?

[Martin Starr]

Because I just wanted it shorter.

[Scott Aukerman]

So episode one, it's your normal Tulsa King length, but at the end of episode one, you go, let me give this a little snip.

[Martin Starr]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cut half an inch off.

[Martin Starr]

Close. We shot in blocks, so we shot, like, two episodes and two episodes, two episodes. And by the end of the season, in between each block, I got a little haircut. So it's got shorter. The end of the season, my hair is, like 4 inches shorter than it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you ever mention it of like, oh, I just got a haircut. Or it's just. It just gradually gets shorter every two episodes?

[Martin Starr]

Nope.

[Scott Aukerman]

And no one ever says to you, like, hey, I like your new look or anything like that?

[Martin Starr]

Nope.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, after a person gets to a certain age. You're in your 40s.

[Martin Starr]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

People should stop commenting on haircuts. Right?

[Martin Starr]

Who gives a.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? It's like, like I, I'm 29. I don't need to.

[Martin Starr]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're 29?

[Scott Aukerman]

29. Yeah. It's hard to believe.

[Martin Starr]

Damn.

[Scott Aukerman]

Especially since I just mentioned that I was in a train station.1993.

[Martin Starr]

That was year one for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And then I. I was one for a number of years.

[Martin Starr]

At least four years.

[Scott Aukerman]

But the hand that rocks the cradle. You know, I've seen the movie, but let's talk.

[Martin Starr]

Are you constipated? What's going on over there?

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's talk about your character.

[Martin Starr]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

Some would be surprised. You do not play the baby in the titular cradle.

[Martin Starr]

Dude, come on. Spoiler alert.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, I know. People are, people are hoping that whoever's rocking that cradle with that hand suddenly camera pans over. Maybe like swish pans over. Oh, that would be amazing.

[Martin Starr]

Dude. Love a swish pan.

[Scott Aukerman]

And. And then your bearded face is just looking up from the cradle.

[Martin Starr]

Dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be amazing.

[Martin Starr]

We got to do it again. That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm gonna call Michelle. Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

I'm call a director. We're gonna do it again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who. And who's this Michelle? You mentioned her twice. She's the director of the film. What is her last name? If you don't.

[Martin Starr]

Michelle Garza. The Garza is her middle name. Honestly, that's as far as I've gone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why read further at a certain point, like you're not going to be mentioning her last name too.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. I've referred to her as Michelle Garza so many times that I forgot. Now, her last name, which you're going to look up. Say it out loud.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to say it out loud. It is Michelle Garza. S. Yeah. And this is a dynamite thriller. This. I haven't seen the original, but this is exciting. You have.

[Martin Starr]

She's such an interesting voice, too. Did you see her first movie?

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't. I, I, I want to though.

[Martin Starr]

Cera. It's such an interest. It. We were talking about babies before the show and you can, by the way, my baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not just babies in general.

[Martin Starr]

No, I mean like we were kind of talking about all babies. You were talking about your baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was relating Narcissist. Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

But I was talking about all babies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Humankind also talking about human babies. So babies, Adults. We were talking about just everyone on Earth.

[Martin Starr]

Yes. Just kind babies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. But that her. Her first film is about babies.

[Martin Starr]

It's about pregnancy. And if you and I think you and I both. Well, you said now you like babies, but when you were having baby one, which you've got three more on the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Martin Starr]

So. Wow. I, I. Did I ruin it? You didn't know about them?

[Scott Aukerman]

Honey, are we having triplets?

[Martin Starr]

But I, I, I. When I was younger, I wanted babies. Now I'm like, I, I'm good. I'm good. I don't need it. And this is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your projects are like your babies. You know what I mean?

[Martin Starr]

Thank you for noticing. Oh, God. I really.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we're about to give birth with the Hand that Rocks the Cradle on Wednesday. Yeah. Airing on Hulu.

[Martin Starr]

And I give birth in the movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. Yeah. That's a big part of it because you're in the early part of the movie, and then it, like, halfway through, goes into a flashback of how the baby was born.

[Martin Starr]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's like, suddenly a cab is driving down New York City, and the cab driver's like, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk.

[Martin Starr]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

And someone in the back is like, step on it.

[Martin Starr]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's. There's an extra 100 in it for you if you get us there within the next five minutes.

[Martin Starr]

His water just broke.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then suddenly it pulls over to the. To the er, but they don't have time to get you in there. And you just give birth right there on the sidewalk.

[Martin Starr]

That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then that little baby grows up to be Mary Elizabeth Winston.

[Martin Starr]

Yep. That's the pre. That's just the pre story in the beginning.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the pre story. And then, then you're also her best friend in this movie, which is interesting.

[Martin Starr]

Because I do a time jump.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't age at all in the movie.

[Martin Starr]

That's correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it's established. You're a time traveler.

[Martin Starr]

But my hair gets shorter at the end of the movie. I have a shaved head. It's great. You're gonna love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're gonna love this film. You do play Mary Elizabeth Winsett. Great, great actor. Who, of course, most people would know from season three of the comedy Bang Bang television show.

[Martin Starr]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

She plays the lead, the mother in this movie. If you know anything about the plots. And then you also have Malcolm, who people would.

[Martin Starr]

Micah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Micah Is that. Oh, I'm sorry I don't have my glasses on. And that I look like a.

[Martin Starr]

No respect to your eyesight, which doesn't deserve respect.

[Scott Aukerman]

Micah Monroe, who people would know from our good friend Long Legs, who's been on the show many times. She's in that movie, the movie based on his life. And your friend Kumail was on the show with Long Legs.

[Martin Starr]

I've heard of him.

[Scott Aukerman]

About a year ago, I believe.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

And she is the nanny to the child.

[Martin Starr]

She's the hand.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's the literal hand. You also have Raul Castillo, who people would know from Task this season of.

[Martin Starr]

Task, and your buddy Ricky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Who's. Wait, who's Ricky?

[Martin Starr]

Ricky Lindholm is in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Ricky, of course, plays your wife. Girlfriend.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm sorry. Were you not lawfully wedded?

[Martin Starr]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, man. Hold on a second. Let me just get there. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you have a very funny scene with Ricky early on, and then you don't show up for a little while. I'm like, okay, did this motherfucker trick me into coming on this show? Just. And he has one scene in this movie, but then enjoy my scene, let me tell you. Shit starts to get pretty real for old Martin star.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a very pivotal few moments in this movie, let me just say.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. People don't know what you mean. You have a baby. I have a baby in the movie. I'm pregnant.

[Scott Aukerman]

You do. That's the other thing.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's the midway part. Yeah. That we talked about before. But, yeah, it's. It's a thrilling movie. People can cuddle up with a loved one or someone they barely know. And watch this on Hulu starting this Wednesday. This is exciting.

[Martin Starr]

The other title they were going to go with is Watch out, Colon. His Water Just Broke. But we didn't. They decided to just go with the.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was. It was not the symbol, the colon. It was watch out, comma, colon. Meaning your colon.

[Martin Starr]

Yes, correct. Colon is water spelled out, comma, colon, watch out, colon. His water just broke.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think of that guy Colin Powell? You know, he calls himself Colin. He has. He has plausible deniability to call himself Colin.

[Martin Starr]

Wasn't he a general?

[Scott Aukerman]

And yet he goes around saying, like, no, my name's Colin, like, correcting people like, I'm. I'm the thing that shit passes through.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, he just call yourself Colin, you fucking weirdo.

[Martin Starr]

No, we deserves Colin.

[Scott Aukerman]

He. He does. He does.

[Martin Starr]

Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

But you know who else deserves colon is Martin Starr. He is.

[Martin Starr]

It's.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's.

[Martin Starr]

It would be very funny if people just started referring anal sex. Sorry. If I'm going deep here as colon.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm gonna give some colon.

[Martin Starr]

I'm gonna give you some colon tonight, sweetie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the hand that rocks a cradle. Out this Wednesday. Tulsa King out. What. What day do these come out? Every episode.

[Martin Starr]

They come out on a weekly basis, just like television shows have always come out since God intended.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thursdays, Tuesdays, what do we know?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Just one of those days. Just here's what I would do. I would turn on Paramount plus. Just leave it on and.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hope it pops up.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, that's good. That's a good advice.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so you're. You're on several streaming services. Paramount plus Hulu. What's the next streaming service that Martin's.

[Martin Starr]

Gonna God to conquer them all? That is the dream.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're also on a Max Silicon Valley repeats.

[Martin Starr]

I wonder if Freaks and Geeks is on Peacock.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder. It should be. That's a great show, by the way. If anyone. If people have not seen Freaks and Geeks, there's one season of it. 22. Is that how many you made, or.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. 18.

[Scott Aukerman]

18. 18. 18 hours of your life, but it's really 45 minutes because it was network TV.

[Martin Starr]

18 hours, but it feels like four weeks.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. So it's more like 14 hours if you take out commercials. So it's like you could do that in a day. It's. There's not a better time to be spent in front of your television than watching Freaks and Cat Geeks. Such a great show. Our good friend Paul Feig made that show.

[Martin Starr]

Yep. Judd, Seth, Jason, all the greats. All the. All the first names of the greats.

[Scott Aukerman]

And. And everyone still is tied. What about a reunion where you guys are like, what?

[Martin Starr]

I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much. Yeah. How many years have passed?

[Martin Starr]

Let me text them. I'm gonna text them, and we're gonna make this happen for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was set in the. Was it set in the 80s?

[Martin Starr]

1980.

[Scott Aukerman]

Set in 1980. How many years have passed since it was on? 25 or so.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, exactly. 25 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it would be 2005 if you were to do a reunion show right now?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, if we were post nine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Eleven.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, shit, bro. We're getting deep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mm. What do you think the characters are? What's your character up to?

[Martin Starr]

God, you know, probably making candy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably. Is it the most autobiographical role you ever had?

[Martin Starr]

Obviously, that's why I make candy now.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Although you'd be making 2005 candy, which.

[Martin Starr]

Is kind of what I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. This is.

[Martin Starr]

Look at the packaging.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's real retro anything. And let's not talk about the hand that rocks the cradle and all the hoops you have to go through in order to watch an early screener of it, which I don't think anyone has to, other than me. Let's talk.

[Martin Starr]

If you love Watermarks, I've got the movie for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sweetstash.com is the website. Just make it your homepage. How much. What's the cap on how. How much people can order this? Like, do you cap it at, like.

[Martin Starr]

I think per customer? I think we sell them in five in groups of five online. I mean, we're. The intention is to be in every, like, liquor store and stuff, hopefully in the next six months, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible.

[Martin Starr]

We're spreading.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you going to make new candy? New types of.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, I think the next one will be a sour candy.

[Scott Aukerman]

A sour candy.

[Martin Starr]

I know that's where your thoughts went immediately. You like a sour.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like a sour. I also.

[Martin Starr]

People talk about it. You like a sour.

[Scott Aukerman]

People do talk about how. I like a sour. What about making a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup?

[Martin Starr]

So here's the thing that's kind of trademarked and would be really frowned upon in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Frowned upon. But it's better to ask for. For forgiveness than permission.

[Martin Starr]

It's sue. We would get sued, like, pretty bad. We don't have that kind of legal team.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? What kind of legal team do you have?

[Martin Starr]

None.

[Scott Aukerman]

None.

[Martin Starr]

That's untrue. We have a lawyer in our midst.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'd love to represent you pro bono.

[Martin Starr]

I'm going to say no.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I'll ask for some pro bono.

[Martin Starr]

I'll ask the. The guys I'm working with, But I'm gonna. I'm just gonna.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if they have.

[Martin Starr]

Then I have to say yes. I've got no choice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Sweet Stash Jams is the candy. You can order five bags at a time.

[Martin Starr]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could do. You could order five bags, 10 bags, 15 bags, 20 bags, 25 bags. 20, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85, 90, 95, 100. Yeah. And that's where you would say, guys. Nope.

[Martin Starr]

You can keep going.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You can keep going. Really?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Have you ever done one of those things where people bid on stuff?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're gonna have to be more specific.

[Martin Starr]

So, like, imagine a world where people gather and they have these little Plastic placards that look so stupid, and they're kind of like those things that you go to the optometrist and they cover one eye, and then it's got a little number on it, this little plastic thing. It's like 294.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gotcha.

[Martin Starr]

And that's your number.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Martin Starr]

And then there's a dude up at a podium, and he's like, check out this jacket from the 1400s. It has emeralds on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then he goes in the market for emerald jackets.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. I knew it. That's. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds good.

[Martin Starr]

Feel your energy. And then he's like, okay, how much? We'll start our bidding off at five packets of candy. And then you, you know, you go up.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is an auction. That's what you're talking about. Nope. No. Oh, okay. This is just a get together.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Just friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Emerald jacket get together.

[Martin Starr]

Just friends hanging out.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think auctions would be better if they just told you how much the thing cost, and then whoever had the money just paid for it.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, those.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, the hand that rocks the cradle is out this Wednesday on Hulu. Martin Starr is our guest. We need to take a break. Can you stick around? An enthusiastic. You're a member of the eight Timers club now. I need your support.

[Martin Starr]

Where's my jacket?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Well, this emerald jacket that I've been hearing about, I'm hoping that I can get this for you.

[Martin Starr]

I'm on board.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, we're gonna take a break. We have a returning guest. We also have a physician coming up on the show. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. Hey, everyone. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I know what you're saying. What is Squarespace? Why did they bring me this podcast? I thought I just pressed a button. No, no, no, no. Squarespace brought it to you. Here's what it is. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or whether you're growing your business. Here's what it does. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Don't you hate offering services and getting paid in two different places? I do. It helps you do this in one simple place. It showcases consultations, events, and more. You can do all of this with a customizable website built to attract clients and grow your business. Plus get paid faster with professional invoices and easy online payments. And with their collection of cutting edge design tools. And anyone, and I mean anyone, even me, even I, could do this. Anyone can build a bespoke online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Here's what you do. You start with Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced Website Builder to get a fully custom website in just a few steps, using basic information about your industry, your goals and your personality. As annoying as you might be, I'm just talking to myself. To generate premium quality content and personalized design recommendations. Head over to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. You know what that music means. The holidays are right around the corner. Not right around the corner, but they're around the corner. Certainly it doesn't matter how long it takes to get around a corner. Couple months and a half. Anyway, holidays are coming, but there's so much that goes into getting ready to host, isn't there? You know, getting out the silverware and the fine china, putting new comforters in the guest room, all this stuff. But you know what? As the holidays approach, you can get what you need to personalize your home. With Wayfair, you can shop holiday decor for every room in the house. Whether it's Christmas trees, wreaths, inflatables for the front yard. Wayfair is your one stop shop. Refresh your guest room with bedding, linens, throw pillows, accent chairs for way way Less and make holiday hosting a breeze with quality cookware that will wow any guest. Plus get free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff. No more huge delivery fees on furniture, holiday decor and more. Hey Wayfair, we love it. We got a bunch of stuff from Wayfair, including some of those inflatables. I've talked about how my wife goes nuts for inflatables. I think from Wayfair we got giant skeletons that we put in the front yard, but we also got a Santa thing that is going up once the skeletons are down. And it was, it was so easy. Delivery was free. It was hassle free. Get organized, refreshed and ready for the holidays. For way less, head over to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home that is. W a y s a I r dot com Wayfair every style, Every home. Hey everyone. Today's episode is brought to you by Fabletics. When you live in activewear, you can never have enough, right? But the good stuff usually costs a fortune. And that is why Fabletics Is great. When you sign up as a Fabletics VIP, you can get 80% off of everything. That's crazy. That's almost all of. Only goes up to 100. You get 80% off of everything and after that it's about 60 bucks a month unless you skip the month. That monthly fee gives you exclusive benefits, including a credit you can use toward a full outfit or a bundle worth up to $100. And this is quality stuff. Fabletics. I got a package full of this stuff. I wear it around. People are giving me the eye. They're like, this guy. Who's this guy and why is he in my house? Okay, maybe I shouldn't be breaking in people's houses while I'm wearing it. But it's a good advertiser. I think brand awareness is the most important thing. And these are quality, quality clothes too. Treat yourself to gear. That looks good, feels good and doesn't break the bank with Fabletics. Go to Fabletics.com CBB and sign up as a VIP and get 80% off of everything. Comedy Bang bang. We're back. Martin Starr, the hand that rocks the cradle. I'm not saying Martin Starr is the hand that rocks the cradle. Like if you were a giant hand, like.

[Martin Starr]

But you're not help.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. Would you like to be a hamburger helper being that is, if that's a.

[Martin Starr]

Famous hand, I wouldn't have thought about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

There's like thing is that right?

[Scott Aukerman]

It. It.

[Martin Starr]

Cousin it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Cousin it. Wait, no.

[Martin Starr]

Isn't cousin it the hairy one? And then thing is the thing's dance.

[Scott Aukerman]

I get confused because of the fantastic four thing. Who doesn't have hair, famously.

[Martin Starr]

And he's. He's hard as a rock.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Martin Starr]

Fucking notoriously.

[Scott Aukerman]

Notoriously hard as a rock. And that was his catchphrase before his clobbering time is I'm as hard as a rock. And people are like, all right.

[Martin Starr]

All the women got a little weirded out. Yeah. Because of his very minor bulge.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. But. But if you had the opportunity, if a genie were to come down and say, I'll grant you one wish, but it has to be hamburger helper related. What would you wish for?

[Martin Starr]

That's a good question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thanks, man.

[Martin Starr]

Fucking. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. How long have I been doing this show? Sixteen years.

[Martin Starr]

That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the kind of questions.

[Martin Starr]

But you have the wisdom of a man who's been doing it.

[Scott Aukerman]

17 years old soul in that way.

[Martin Starr]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not yeah. By the way. Wtf? Just last. Last episode Last week. It's not going anymore, so you can't get on that anymore if that's what you were hoping, using a springboard.

[Martin Starr]

This was my springboard. I actually. Something came up. I gotta go. Not related to what you just said.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm expecting a big influx of guests now that that show's not around.

[Martin Starr]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because, like, I gotta be honest. We have. You're a movie star. I haven't. I haven't had a lot of movie stars on this show recently.

[Louis Pantano]

Adam.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam Pally, last week, who considers himself to be a movie.

[Martin Starr]

Right. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a guy who's been in movies. Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

You've had Kumail Nanjiani.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. He's one of the stars of Eternals. Yeah. As well as.

[Martin Starr]

I really love that movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. As well as. What's the Uber Stuber?

[Martin Starr]

Yep. That's. Those are the two movies he's done.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then also the one. The. The. With Issa Ray, where he broke into someone's house.

[Martin Starr]

Then there's the third movie that he did. Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

But that's it.

[Martin Starr]

He's a movie star, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

But we had. So you can stars on this show for a while.

[Martin Starr]

And then he's also a Broadway star now.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. Oh, Mary. And then suddenly, WTF comes along and they. They steal all the movie stars away. So I've been forced to have on, like, TV stars and novelists sometimes.

[Martin Starr]

And I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedians with Specials and so. Oh, God. So I'm. I'm just. I'm so glad that he's not doing that show anymore, because I just imagine the movie stars are going to come in and.

[Martin Starr]

Who was the host of it? Zach Braff.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so. Wasn't he.

[Martin Starr]

God, he was great when he.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was great. How does he find the time between his commercials. Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

And just being a doctor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. That's right. A lot of people didn't know Scrubs was a documentary.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

About his life.

[Martin Starr]

And. God, they were goofy. They were just some goofy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's just a goofy guy. And Pete the Camera followed him around expecting to do a documentary on the horrors of working in a hospital. And then they were like, this guy's so goofy. Let's just turn it into a show.

[Martin Starr]

They were like Robin Williams in that movie. Happy, or whatever it's called. Happy Doctor Man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Happy Doctor Man. That's right. Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

You remember that movie?

[Scott Aukerman]

He was the Happy Doctor. That's. You know, you should. Come on. Scott hasn't seen. Because I haven't seen that movie. You want to do Patch Adams?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do Patch Adams.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're going to set this up. I'm holding you to this Happy doctor man. I have a verbal commitment from you, much like when you're on a plane and you're sitting in an exit row. All right, we need to get to our next guest. I mentioned a returning guest is on the show. They have been on before. Let's welcome them back. They are a seagull. Please welcome Louis Pantano.

[Louis Pantano]

Thank you so much for having me back, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi, everyone. I'm back.

[Louis Pantano]

Scott, you're back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. How is it going? Louis, this is Martin Star.

[Louis Pantano]

Hi, Martin.

[Martin Starr]

Hey. Nice to meet you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Yeah. So good to see you. You're a seagull. For those of you who. Well, we don't film the show, so for those of you listening, Louie is a seagull.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, just DM me on Instagram. I'll send you a photo.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you get a lot of those DMs, you respond to all of them, right?

[Martin Starr]

I send photos of seagulls always. So this will finally be the appropriate response.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're just standing on the table next to the mic, right?

[Louis Pantano]

Sort of just eyeing this candy. But first, I want to thank you for letting me crash with you for as long as I've been with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's no problem.

[Louis Pantano]

I mean, been sleeping in your car, in your backyard. You're really helping me get back on my feet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Is that your nest in the corner?

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. Do you want a little tour?

[Martin Starr]

Honestly? Yeah, that'd be cool. I've never toured a nest before.

[Louis Pantano]

These are my rocks. These are my sticks. This is my porn. This is my French fries.

[Scott Aukerman]

Back up, back up. Your porn?

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. I like to hold it in my hands. I'm old fashioned in that way.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think everyone holds it in their hands when they're looking at porn.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

Not when it's on a computer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, never mind.

[Martin Starr]

Is that. I noticed there's a lot of colon porn.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, I mean, we all have our preferences. By the way, you said that you're not going to.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said that as a symbol. By the way, there's a lot of colonies.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

You're not gonna. Seamus Eagle who likes anal sex, are you, Martin?

[Martin Starr]

Whoa. We call it colon around here.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. We call it deserving colon.

[Louis Pantano]

Scott's such a good guy. He's helping me get back on my feet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'VE been your webbed feet. Yeah, sorry, I don't mean to point out the differences between our feet.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, I guess our feet are different.

[Martin Starr]

I didn't even notice until you said that.

[Louis Pantano]

Well, thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you've been looking at the eyes.

[Martin Starr]

But of course, I'm an eye man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where the eyes follow. Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

You like my beady eyes?

[Martin Starr]

They're very cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right now you're just looking at the candy.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. It's just interesting, you know, because it smells a certain way and it looks a certain way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want some of the candy?

[Louis Pantano]

No, no, no, no, no. I'm watching what I eat. I'm on Dancing with the Stars right now, so. Really? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you mean by that? Are you competing?

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, I would say that in a way. You know, I'm just.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would say that. Would the public at large say something like that?

[Martin Starr]

Well, I watched that show weekly and I don't remember Andy Richter is on.

[Scott Aukerman]

It this week or this season. Yeah, I gu.

[Louis Pantano]

Beloved by the audience. You don't remember a seagull swooping down and sort of biting at their hair while they're trying to dance?

[Martin Starr]

Oh, yeah, that's you.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, that's me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That was a odd piece of television history where a seagull attacked Andy Richter and tried to bite his hair.

[Louis Pantano]

Andy Richter was doing a dance and I just sort of swooped down. He was doing the ratatouille dance last week on Dancing with the Stars, and I sort of swooped down and started pecking at his eyes. But, you know, I've been doing that to other people on the show too. Robert Irwin, Steve Irwin's son, is a contestant this. This year.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, yeah, Poor guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was he famous for just being a son?

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, I think he's also sort of continuing his father's work and like, caring.

[Martin Starr]

About the environment, just being happy around animals.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wasn't that animals?

[Louis Pantano]

Sorry. Maybe I'm a little sensitive because he cares about us animals. Robert Irwin is actually one of the only people who. But still you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You attacked his eyes.

[Louis Pantano]

Well, I, he. I wanted to dance with his partner. I wanted to dance and get some votes.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, you don't even like him that much. You wanted his partner.

[Louis Pantano]

Well, I just. I know that being on Dancing with the Stars can sort of revamp your career. And Martin, you get that this business is hard to be in. We get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not everyone has a television show and a movie all in the same market.

[Louis Pantano]

And a candy business at the same time.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, I got a backup plan.

[Louis Pantano]

And Martin, it's nice that we're finally meeting face to face. I have no hard feelings. You've sort of been icing me out of the business. You've been taking my roles for quite some time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you auditioned for some of Martin's.

[Martin Starr]

I'm so sorry. I honestly had no idea.

[Louis Pantano]

You don't remember me being in the audition room with you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Which, which I did get attacked by.

[Martin Starr]

A seagull in an audition.

[Louis Pantano]

That was me. You remember?

[Martin Starr]

No.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, that was me.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, that was up.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, that was for knocked up.

[Martin Starr]

I think I had to do that audition with a bloody nose.

[Louis Pantano]

But you got the part, so. Huh.

[Martin Starr]

I think they just felt bad for me. You helped me. I wouldn't have gotten that job if it weren't for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Percentage of your jobs. Did people feel bad for you and just gave you the part?

[Martin Starr]

I, I honest, if I'm being totally honest, I think all of them, 100%.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Every single.

[Louis Pantano]

Pretty brutal. Judd looked me in the eye one time and said, everything you can do, Martin can do better. Oh, and that was sobering and a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lie because you, you can't fly. Right, Martin? I mean, absolutely correct.

[Martin Starr]

I've never done it around me. I've never dive bombed an actor in an audition and given them a bloody nose. You clearly are better than me at that.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, but what am I doing wrong here? You know, that's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to be. Did we talk about this last time? You want to be an actor.

[Louis Pantano]

I am an actor. I just don't have work right now.

[Martin Starr]

That's the attitude. I mean, that is the attitude. Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

I am an actor.

[Martin Starr]

That's the attitude.

[Scott Aukerman]

And have you ever been paid for acting?

[Louis Pantano]

Well, Scott, I feel like you always do this thing and you split hairs about what I'm talking about.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't mean to be pedantic about this.

[Martin Starr]

Wouldn't it be splitting feathers? Fuck.

[Louis Pantano]

See, Robert Irwin wouldn't be making jokes like this because he cares. He thinks that we matter. You know what I'm saying?

[Scott Aukerman]

Shut up. That was funny, dude. That was funny.

[Louis Pantano]

This is what I'm saying, though, that every time I walk into a room, I can hear Martin kill it in an audition. He's so funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's so funny.

[Louis Pantano]

And then I go in and it's just crickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I, I mean, you've been on the show once before. Do you eat the crickets? Crickets is that.

[Louis Pantano]

Sometimes I eat the crickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

So crickets are a good thing. So you get a good response.

[Louis Pantano]

Crickets. Because it's quiet. And so crickets then start to sing.

[Scott Aukerman]

And crickets aren't quiet.

[Louis Pantano]

They're quiet when they. They're. They're quiet when people are laughing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crickets are fucking loud.

[Louis Pantano]

All right, I'm gonna pack all my rocks and sticks and porn into my little bindle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't.

[Martin Starr]

Please don't go.

[Louis Pantano]

No. Here I go. Who cares? Doesn't matter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Living here for the past year.

[Louis Pantano]

I'll go back to.

[Martin Starr]

No, but don't leave. We don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no.

[Martin Starr]

Shut the fuck up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're funny, but shut the fuck up.

[Martin Starr]

Okay, sorry.

[Louis Pantano]

No, no, I get it. I am. I'm gonna just do one more week of Dancing with the Stars, and then I'm gonna get on a bus and I'm gonna go back home.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, Louie.

[Louis Pantano]

No, I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know that's usually followed by something like, I didn't mean it, please. Yeah, but I don't mean either of those things.

[Louis Pantano]

I just wanted to say I'm ready for your apology. And I'm ready for you to beg.

[Scott Aukerman]

Me to say one. No, I'm not.

[Martin Starr]

God, I hate to get into semantics here, but I don't think crickets sing.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, my God.

[Martin Starr]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

They rub their tiny legs together.

[Martin Starr]

That's right. It's more of a violin. They're kind of playing an instrument, which is their body.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do they do it? That's a weird thing.

[Louis Pantano]

Singing is playing an instrument. That's your body.

[Martin Starr]

I could get on board with that.

[Louis Pantano]

Thank you. When was the last time you ate a cricket, smartass?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you know what?

[Martin Starr]

I've. Okay. Everyone's.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, smart ass.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like I'm Smartass answering school again.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, who's putting me in a locker? You guys are being real bullies right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe we could play bullies on the freaks and geeks reboot.

[Louis Pantano]

Well, I just. For that. And they said I was too freaky and too geeky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Meaning it's happening already. Yeah, well, do you not know about this, hon?

[Martin Starr]

That's a talent to be in both.

[Scott Aukerman]

Both camps.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, because they were like, you look a lot like James Franco, but then also, you're a geek.

[Scott Aukerman]

If James Franco were a bird. Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

If he was a seagull.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You have a very symmetrical seagull face.

[Louis Pantano]

Thank you. I think I'm handsome for a seagull.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also, you're missing one of your appendages. Much like him in that 127 hours. Which one appears to be? I'm not getting a great look at you, but it looks like you're Kind of walking on one leg.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, my God. What happened? Oh, my God, Scott. What? Something happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what it's missing or.

[Louis Pantano]

I've been clipped.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, no.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, my God, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just like Lauren Lapkis.

[Louis Pantano]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

She was in a show called Clip.

[Louis Pantano]

Yes.

[Martin Starr]

Harsh.

[Louis Pantano]

Can I be on threedom now? Scott? I swoop in and I try to be on that show every time you record it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no, I'm sorry. We're not taking any newcomers on. Newcomers. Just like Lauren Lapkis.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, my God. Stop talking about her so much.

[Martin Starr]

Nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

I miss Lauren.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, God.

[Martin Starr]

Where is she? I actually came for her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sorry. She's on my other show, which is Thursday. This is the Monday show.

[Louis Pantano]

She's got charm.

[Martin Starr]

This is the other show.

[Louis Pantano]

Pack all my stuff. Take everything with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

I put it in my bin.

[Martin Starr]

No, no, don't go. Don't, please.

[Louis Pantano]

Here I go.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's about that time to fly south for the. For the winter anyway, right?

[Louis Pantano]

I live in Los Angeles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but I mean, it's kind of. The weather's not that great today. It's getting a little crisp here. You know, why don't you fly down to South America or something?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Wouldn't you say you used to live in Los Angeles because you're kind of moving out.

[Louis Pantano]

Right? Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just like Billy Joel.

[Martin Starr]

You could go anywhere.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wish Lauren Lapkins did something called moving out.

[Louis Pantano]

I. No, I get it. And you guys, you think I'm not talented enough to make it in the business.

[Martin Starr]

No, you're too freaky and geeky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You're too much of a good thing.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which is, coincidentally a bad thing.

[Louis Pantano]

If only they would let me do a full dance on Dancing with the Stars, and I could be in the heart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you show us. Can you show us your dance? What? You. Well, like, have you choreographed anything?

[Louis Pantano]

I just. I've. I've.

[Martin Starr]

Do you wear shoes ever, like, when you're dancing? Could you tap dance?

[Louis Pantano]

I could try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Try to tap dance Right now?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's some bottle caps you can put.

[Louis Pantano]

It's a little humiliating.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. On the bottom of your feet. Just try to tap dance.

[Martin Starr]

Those don't look comfortable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go. Let's.

[Louis Pantano]

If you're blue and you know where to go to why don't you go where fashion sits? Putting on the Ritz.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I wish that Louie wasn't singing, because that's not part. Forgive me, but dancing was a subject.

[Martin Starr]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Scott, this is my favorite lyric. Oh, no, it's not dancing and singing with the stars. It's just Dancing. What happened to your ankle, dear?

[Martin Starr]

Oh, it looks bad. The bottle cap is your blood blue.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, just like weird Tom Selleck shit.

[Louis Pantano]

Exactly. Oh, God. Oh, my God. We taped tonight. We taped tonight in Burbank, probably, right? That's probably where they film it. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably at Disney, right?

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, gas at Disney.

[Amica Insurance Announcer]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

God. I actually don't know. Do you know where they take Dancing with the Stars?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, going on in my backyard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, they do? Really? Yeah. Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

Have they ever asked you to be on that show? Have you ever gotten a call?

[Martin Starr]

I. Well, yeah, because I live so close.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So pretty much just like, the producers.

[Martin Starr]

Are always walking through the house, use a bathroom or whatever, and. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

They're like, you should. And then they stop there. I assume they're gonna say, come on the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the. The. The musicians, that. Those are yours, right?

[Martin Starr]

Those are my musicians.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gorgeous backyard.

[Martin Starr]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Louie. What's.

[Louis Pantano]

Who am I kidding? Dancing with the Stars is about. Dancing with the Stars is about having a comeback, and I've never even arrived in the first place.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the thing, is you got to be famous enough to, you know. I mean, look, I've never been asked to be on Dancing with the Stars. I had a TV show for five years. No one watched it. That's the problem. I don't. I can't come back from being a nobody.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, you do have, like, a Lisa Kudrow vibe, like, you should have a comeback, but you do need.

[Louis Pantano]

I auditioned for that show.

[Martin Starr]

You need to come the first time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

I gotta come the first time. You know what? I like everyone else, I. I got off the bus in Los Angeles, and I thought I was gonna make it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did you take a bus here?

[Louis Pantano]

Because. Because it was with a seagull. They don't let you on an airplane.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you on the top of the bus? Is that what.

[Louis Pantano]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Martin Starr]

No seagulls on an airplane.

[Louis Pantano]

Like everybody going into show business. I slept with Carol Channing like everyone else did. I paid my dues.

[Martin Starr]

Hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on.

[Louis Pantano]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Quiet. Did you. Did you know that that bird that. That ran into the. Our good friend Sully Sullenberger's plane?

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, all those seagulls. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Did you know them?

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, I went to high school with them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

And they made something of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're famous.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. Do you know that Sully fucking paid them to do that?

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Louis Pantano]

It's a big concern.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a setup.

[Louis Pantano]

It was a setup. Sully was like, hey, fellas, why don't you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they know what was gonna happen once they flew?

[Louis Pantano]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did they think they were gonna do with the money? I guess in their. Their seagull wills.

[Louis Pantano]

Well, they all had gambling problems.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, they paid off their debts.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. It's common within the seagull community.

[Martin Starr]

Are you the same. Sorry to derail this.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, please.

[Martin Starr]

But are you the same seagull that hit, you know, in the face on the roller coaster? I can't believe. It's no bother.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who was that?

[Louis Pantano]

That was me. Yeah, that was me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fabio. Is that.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who you're talking about?

[Martin Starr]

I'm just. I just quoted his most famous moment in pop culture.

[Louis Pantano]

See, I've been working, you know, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you the one who. On Cyndi Lauper?

[Louis Pantano]

Yes.

[Martin Starr]

Damn, that's. That was fucked up.

[Scott Aukerman]

But.

[Martin Starr]

But hitting Fabio was. I give you kudos, because I think that took balls. That took real.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, that hurt me too, because I.

[Martin Starr]

Heard it was your balls that actually broke his nose when they hit.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. Thank you. I get no credit for that. It's not even on my IMDb, so it took Cindy's. Not on my IMDb.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have an IMDb plus account now because.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

I heard us talking about it on threedom so much and gave us free. So I'll. I'll try to add that.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. Will you.

[Scott Aukerman]

To your imd, it's Louis Pantano.

[Louis Pantano]

Pantano?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Pantano. Are you the. Wait, there's four Louis.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, my God.

[Louis Pantano]

I don't even know. They're all my name. Oh, my God.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, you're a crew member too? What are you.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are all grips, it looks like. Oh, yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

Every time I've been on any set, I've been fired. I'm just a loser. I'm just a loser that hires task rabbits to come to your house so I can hang out with someone and talk to someone.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, they're not actual rabbits. I keep telling you that.

[Louis Pantano]

I. One day I think I'm like, oh, a funny, funny.

[Martin Starr]

You're looking for a friend?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Louis Pantano]

I'm looking for something. Looking for something?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, Louie, but I don't think it's working out between us.

[Louis Pantano]

No, Scott, please, just like two, three more years and then. And then I'll fly away.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't have that kind of time with you.

[Louis Pantano]

You barely notice that I'm here. I sleep in your car.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the thing. I don't like you sleeping in my car because it has a certain birdy smell.

[Martin Starr]

Why do you leave the window down every night?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you know, I gotta air it out from the previous night of the smell.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, yeah. That actually makes sense.

[Louis Pantano]

I see how it is. I'll go stay with Martin for a little while.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Louis Pantano]

And then I'll fold back in.

[Scott Aukerman]

That sounds good.

[Martin Starr]

I do a big backyard, and you're kind of already hanging out in my backyard often.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, just go into the main. From the Dancing with the Stars backyard. Yeah, I just.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, I just want to be where the people are, you know? I just want to be in this, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to be where the people are.

[Louis Pantano]

I want to see. Want to see him dancing with the stars. Scott, come on, please. Martin, you have such staying power in this business. You've been doing this 25 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been on this grind for 25 years. You. You have a new movie out.

[Martin Starr]

Weirdly accurate. Yeah, I'm old. I'm ready to.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you work with you Ready to retire.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please don't say that. We love you.

[Martin Starr]

Can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'll never make it to the ten.

[Martin Starr]

Timers Club on this.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Whoa.

[Martin Starr]

There's a ten Timers Club?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hell, yeah.

[Martin Starr]

All right. I'll stick it out. I'll stick it out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott is in, like, the 25 Timers Club, who.

[Louis Pantano]

I. I just want. I just. Yeah, I just want a little bit of what you have.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to taste. You want to wet your beef.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Literally, it's not.

[Louis Pantano]

And you're not even just doing art. You're, by the way, people over and over again that love you.

[Martin Starr]

You got a nice. You got a nice beak, but you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have a nice body.

[Louis Pantano]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that weird to say?

[Louis Pantano]

It's a ton of. I got up. Like, I have. I had, like, $600,000 worth of plastic surgery. Basically. None of this is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, is that where my $600,000 went?

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

I was gonna say, your beak looks really plump.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, it's. That's filler.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got my. I got my account statement back this month. I noticed a little discrepancy of $600,000.

[Louis Pantano]

Come on. Some of that's you, too, Scott. You've gotten some work done.

[Martin Starr]

I mean, by the way, your beak looks really good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much. I got. I got one added really plump. Yeah, that's what you want in a beak.

[Louis Pantano]

I got a facelift. I got a beak plumping. I got my ass done.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got a facelift, and then a face lowered because I didn't like the way they lifted it.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, it's like, up, down. You sort of like, say, what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Up, down. Up, down.

[Louis Pantano]

Up, down.

[Martin Starr]

Up, down.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're like, what is this, an elevator?

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, God. Yeah, I'm just. I'm just a seagull with a colon. Porn addiction.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

Who lives with his best friend, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's accurate. Up to, you know, the. The last couple of words.

[Martin Starr]

Wait, did you change your name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Martin, you are on my last nerve.

[Louis Pantano]

Next time I come back, I'll land on one side of the fence or the other. I'm gonna try one more time. Swooping down and dancing with the stars. Trying to get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Try it one more time. If you don't get any votes, just stay there.

[Louis Pantano]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bring your nest, bring your bags, everything over there. And then if you, you know, and then never come back on the show.

[Louis Pantano]

All right. I'm going to try to do a foxtrot on tonight's show. And when it goes well, though, Scott and I become a billionaire and I'm in the hearts of America, you'll be sorry and you'll be begging me to move back in here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably. But I am willing to take that chance. Can a bird do a foxtrot?

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, my God.

[Martin Starr]

On the next Comedy Bang Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we do, you know, you joke, but we do have to take a break right now. Louie, I wish you the best of luck. By the way, your T shirt is still in the stores, I believe.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're. What was it again? Neck up. No, what was it? Ass up, neck back. That's the way I like to snack.

[Louis Pantano]

Something like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Something like that.

[Martin Starr]

Put it in my colon.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can still get those shirts at wherever you get our Comedy Bang Bang T shirts. I don't even remember the address, but we do have to take a break. When we come back, we have a physician on the show. This is very exciting.

[Martin Starr]

I need one, actually. So this will be the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, okay. This is a great audition. All right. We're going to come right back. We're going to have more Martin Starr, more Louis Pantano number four on IMDb. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

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Hey, guys. Joel Kim, Booster here with a very exciting announcement that and I am the newest host of the podcast Bad Dates. I am so excited to be here and sharing all the wildest, most chaotic and iconic bad date stories with you. I'll be joined by friends like Peppermint, Scott Thompson, Casey Wilson, Ron Funches and MJ Rodriguez and we'll hear all about their most notorious bad dates. It'll make you laugh, cry, cringe, and maybe make you feel a little better about your own dating life. You don't want to miss it. Listen to Bad Dates by subscribing to SiriusXM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or listening wherever you get your podcasts.

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Martin Starr]

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Martin Starr]

To the people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang. Bang. We're back. Martin Starr is here. The Tulsa Jester himself. You play a person with a very particular set of skills in this television show, if I'm not mistaken.

[Martin Starr]

You make it sound like Ocean's Eleven, and I'll take that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not a contortionist who hides in small spaces.

[Martin Starr]

Am I not?

[Scott Aukerman]

But you, you do run a dispensary. Is that right? Are you still doing that in season three? Yeah. Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

You into weed?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not especially, but I wouldn't mind some if you brought some. Did you bring some weed as well as this candy?

[Martin Starr]

Is. Is it kicking in yet? Holy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you drug all of us?

[Martin Starr]

I don't know, dude, but that bird is high as hell in the corner.

[Louis Pantano]

Do you like my new beard?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're levitating about three feet off the.

[Martin Starr]

Ground, but your wings are clipped, so that's a real conundrum.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, this candy is something else.

[Scott Aukerman]

Louis Pentano, of course. We're talking to a seagull who is attempting to be on this week's Dancing with the Stars. You can watch tonight and tomorrow night with our good friend Andy Richter, who I believe he must be in the 10 or 12 timers club, I would imagine. Oh, wow. Not that it's a competition, Martin. Just saying.

[Martin Starr]

Ah, you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you had been on in the last seven years, you would have eclipsed him and Adam Scott probably combined.

[Martin Starr]

But, you know, you didn't. You didn't invite me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, how am I ever supposed. Supposed to invite you? You never give me your email address.

[Louis Pantano]

Scott, you could have my email address.

[Martin Starr]

It's on every screener we send you. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, that's when you're watching your own screeners, that's your email address. I. When I watch my own screeners, it's my email address.

[Martin Starr]

Oh. I keep sending you screeners and wondering why you don't email me.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we need to get to our next guest. He is a physician, first time on the show. He's joining the exclusive One Timers club. Please welcome Reginald Barbary.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, hello, gentlemen.

[Scott Aukerman]

And bird.

[Louis Pantano]

Hello.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Hello, Bird. I love that you've got a bird in here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. You know, it used to be humanity's podcast. Then it was humanity and the animal kingdom.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's beautiful. You know, I love to go into a space that's just. It's pristine, but then there's a bit of filth, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I just love a bit of filth in the corner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just a bit of filth.

[Louis Pantano]

Is he talking about me?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You're a filthy little animal, aren't you? Wow. It's beautiful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Martin Starr]

You did just take a shit. Oh, my.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, wow. I'll take that as a sample for later. Just want to check on you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean, a sample for later?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, you know. You know, I want to make sure that this bird, outwardly filthy, is internally okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Usually it's a urine sample. I mean, I've given. I have come to think of it, I have given it. You just.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, exactly. Of course.

[Martin Starr]

You put raw in your pocket.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. You don't have some sort of a bag or something?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No. At least I have all sorts of bags. The bags of my body. You know, my hands, my. My mouth, my, my. There's bags everywhere.

[Martin Starr]

Wait, did you just put that in your mouth?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, it's nature's bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nature's pocket.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, my God. This is really working for me.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, it's nature's bag. Why would you need any other utensils? Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And also, I just want to let everyone know. I do. I know that I'm not dressed like a typical 2025 physician. You know, I meant in a tunic. And I've got some implements that you may not be familiar with.

[Scott Aukerman]

We know that, but it's good that you tell.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No, it's an audio medium. It's as if.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's as if. What did you say?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Audio medium.

[Scott Aukerman]

Audio medium.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's an audio medium. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes. And so I just. I Just wanted to get that out of the way, you know, my methods may be a little unorthodox, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are your. What are your methods?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Well, of course, Putting in my mouth, like from a bird.

[Martin Starr]

Honestly, I haven't been to a physician in so long, I don't even know what's orthodox anymore.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And I'm so glad that I'm here for you, Martin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Do you want to give Martin a checkup or anything like that?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I would absolutely. If you would consent to a check.

[Martin Starr]

Maybe you should check up on Louie, because this is the first time I've ever seen a bird with an erection.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, wow.

[Louis Pantano]

It won't be the last.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Well, yes, I. I'd love any. If anyone needs a. A checkup, I'd be glad to wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you describe what you do before we consent to a checkup?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Of course. I am Reginald Barbary of Reginald Barbary's Medieval Medicine Factory. We share. We share.

[Scott Aukerman]

I really ask any of that. I just said. What do you do?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I just want everyone else out there to know if they are.

[Martin Starr]

Are.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

If they are in need. You can Google it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Save it for the plugs. Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Okay. My apologies. My apologies. I just.

[Scott Aukerman]

They could get to your thing, dear.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Well, I'm just a. A doctor who's. Who's looking to make sure that people are healthy. You know, I know. We're in a moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Typical doctor.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trying to make people healthy. Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

But I believe that things have gotten a bit too complicated in. In the health space. We. With research and development. We've got all these dynasties. Yes, yes. You know, it, uh.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, Scott, he's an anti vaxxer.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No, no, no, no, no. I am not an anti vaxxer. I'm just a. I believe that the vaccines that we've got are a bit too complicated.

[Martin Starr]

I don't know how far we want to go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I had to pull this thread. I. I know that your eyes lit up because of pulling the threads to make nests.

[Louis Pantano]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

But what do you believe? What are we? Well, you just like complicated.

[Martin Starr]

Tuck your feathers around your erection because it's really dist.

[Louis Pantano]

Like that. It looks like a corkscrew.

[Martin Starr]

It's.

[Louis Pantano]

Do you know that that's true?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I just want.

[Martin Starr]

I can see it's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

I made Google do birds have penises? Earlier? And was surprised to see this.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And I just want you to know, Louie, I've seen everything. I am not made uncomfortable by your corkscrew erection at all.

[Louis Pantano]

Are my humors imbalance?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Well, if you'd like me to check. I would love to. If you. If you would submit to a. A physical examination.

[Scott Aukerman]

What exactly do you think is so complicated?

[Martin Starr]

Are you getting up a wine bottle?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, of course. You know, you drink a sip, I drink a sip, we get a little loose. We.

[Martin Starr]

Are you going to use her dick for the.

[Scott Aukerman]

To uncork the wine bottle? Well, it's.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's got many uses. You know, we know a cloaca, which is what?

[Martin Starr]

A.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

A bird's penis. Actual sexual organ is. Is referred to. It's used for many.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you a veterinarian? I'm trying to. What is your thing?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You know, I'm an every. I. I care about health, Scott. I can help anyone. I can help a person.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seablock. Get to your thing.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I just. I just want to make sure you're all healthy. You know, that's all it is. And I.

[Scott Aukerman]

So close. You said that you think things are getting too complicated these days and that now you're back to you want to make healthy.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

That's my whole thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it? What is so complicated? Just.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

There's been so many different tools. Invented MRIs, CAT scans. Sure. Other things. There are plenty other ways that you can decide whether you can do. Of course, the classic butt huffing.

[Martin Starr]

What?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Which is, of course, where you take the gases released by a person, whether it's for mouth or any other office.

[Louis Pantano]

Okay. My erection is singing right now. Keep going.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You ingest those gases, you sort of feel them inside of you, you make a diagnosis and then you treat from there. That's all I'm trying.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess I haven't heard of this.

[Martin Starr]

I mean, none of this pertains to our bird friend here.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Not exactly. It pertains to everyone.

[Louis Pantano]

No, no, I get it. No bloodletting or leeches like these old.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, but you can't release gas. Ass.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, this is true.

[Martin Starr]

You would explode.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I've always heard if you give a. If you give a bird.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Or any that sort of thing, that would create Al.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alka Seltzer tablets. Oh, that's right.

[Martin Starr]

I think a kid did that at my middle school when I was younger.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Sick.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, it was pretty sick.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yeah. That's the way I said it's troubling.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gang.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Gang, as they say.

[Louis Pantano]

Just had a bunch of Mentos and Coca Cola. Was that the wrong.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

This could be moving out sooner than I thought. You may expect. Explode here. Moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want to do an operation, by the way? To. I.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

If anyone would like to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would absolutely do it to me.

[Martin Starr]

I would love.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I would love to do this.

[Louis Pantano]

All right, Scott, Martin, I need you to look away or look directly at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Either one.

[Martin Starr]

Okay, I can agree to those terms.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

So, of course, what we first do I rub your, I guess, throat to relax you? I think that's how birds relax. So I would rub your throat and I'd place my mouth, AKA nature's bag, over your mouth, and then I would. Would inhale as you exhale. Okay. On three. One, two, three. Yes. Okay. Of course, of course. And so I allow this gas to sort of exist inside.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is the huffing that you were talking.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

This is. Yes, yes. Normally with. It can be either butt or it can be mouth. It can be burp or fart, as.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would call it.

[Martin Starr]

But, Louie, have you ever tasted your own before? Was that your first?

[Louis Pantano]

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It seems.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It seems. It seems that you do have a bit of a stomach issue.

[Louis Pantano]

He's amazing. He's a genius.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, we said.

[Martin Starr]

Wow.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. We were saying. Do you want to operate on him?

[Louis Pantano]

I love science, you know.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You know, I have. I'm more of a diagnostic doctor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. You pass that on to the. What does that mean?

[Martin Starr]

You just diagnose?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

People come to me. I. I do a procedure, I diagnose them, and then I sort of pass them off to many of my other colleagues who do different sort of surgeries.

[Scott Aukerman]

And do you want to. Do you want to diagnose either of us?

[Martin Starr]

Us?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I would love to. Martin, would you like. Would you like to be a participant in some.

[Martin Starr]

Sure, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Would you prefer mouth or would you prefer bot?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is this the only thing you do?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's quite. It's a large portion of my business. Yes. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What percentage would you say?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I would say it's about 90. This and then 10. Clerical work, you know, it's 90. Diagnosing through.

[Scott Aukerman]

Diagnosing exclusively just in the. Huffing someone's.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes. And I use. I use. Yes, of course. I've used the tools that were given to me in the best possible way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, yeah.

[Martin Starr]

Esophagus or colon? I'm either one.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Which would you prefer?

[Martin Starr]

Oh, I'm. Those are the only.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I suppose you could spit into my hands.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Of course. And he's my hands. Also known as nature's bowl.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, yeah. Boy, I really filled up your hands. I'm sorry about that.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No, this is quite a specific.

[Martin Starr]

That was a lot.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Just sort of shake around.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I sort of inhaled Just the fumes.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, that's drinking what we generally.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

That's what you consider drinking?

[Martin Starr]

Oh, my God. Yeah, that was. There's none left. You even your hands are dry. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would think there'd be some saliva for you left on your hands.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Okay, yes, I sense.

[Martin Starr]

What do I have, Doc, Give it to me straight.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You know, I would say you do potentially have also some sort of stomach issue.

[Martin Starr]

Oh my God, he's a genius.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's maybe in the realm of a sort of ibs, some. Something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, of course.

[Martin Starr]

And I'm, I'm Right now. That's why I didn't want you to do the colon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does IBS make you more too?

[Martin Starr]

I'm wearing a diaper, just to be clear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

So you don't worry about your chairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, thank you. I appreciate, Appreciate that. Yes.

[Louis Pantano]

Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

So, yes, you. You do seem to have some sort of stomach issue. I also may be getting a sense of sort of he's good. Frequent headache maybe, or.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, yeah.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Or maybe, uh, I feel one coming on right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you and the listeners, I believe.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

But yes, I, I'd be happy to sort of hand you off to one of my colleagues, uh, if you'd like.

[Martin Starr]

Take.

[Scott Aukerman]

If.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

If that makes sense for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

The time or anything like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, basically. How. How much of the time do you diagnose that someone has a stomach issue?

[Martin Starr]

Are your colleagues like as. What do they use modern practices?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No, no, of course not.

[Scott Aukerman]

We.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

We're sort of part of a. I guess in the modern day you'd call it an HMO or some sort of modern day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you a time traveler of some sort or.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, I've. I've lived for hundreds of years. Yes, I, I've.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And that's why I would say you should trust my abilities because I have.

[Martin Starr]

Kept myself healthy for how many of your patients?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Martin Starr]

How many of you have lived that long?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You know, I don't do many follow ups.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't get a lot of return business.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No. Because as I see it, they are immediately sort of taken care of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's. I'm just going to hazard a guess as to what's going on. You're some sort of highlander, and much like Highlander, there can be only one. And you think that your techniques are. What have you. Has kept you alive for hundreds of years. Oh, but it's actually some sort of mystical.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You're saying there's some sort of enchantment or some would say curse for Immortality.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that. That. That is not shared by the rest of us. So these techniques are actually bad for us.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

That's a very interesting point, Scott. You know, I've never. I've never sort of considered the fact that maybe I have sort of wronged or righted some magical being who has allowed me to.

[Scott Aukerman]

This would have happened hundreds of years ago. Maybe. Your memory doesn't stretch that far back. What's the first thing you remember?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, the first thing, I would. I would say probably the super bowl wardrobe malfunction back in 2000.

[Martin Starr]

You did that?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, was that you, though? Louie?

[Martin Starr]

Holy.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, yeah, that was Justin Timberlake. I ripped her bra.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Martin Starr]

Wow.

[Louis Pantano]

I snipped Rip.

[Martin Starr]

Big fan. Big fan.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah. I never get credit for it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you know what I mean, that being your earliest memory. I can't remember too much before that either. Right.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yeah. You know, and that was such a pivotal moment in all of our consciousness.

[Louis Pantano]

Sure.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You know, it does seem. It's sort of a reset point culturally.

[Louis Pantano]

That's when I came online.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Exactly.

[Martin Starr]

Was that your first corkscrew?

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, yeah, big time. Also, whatever you're doing is working for me. Lighting a cigarette, that was incredible.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, you're a smoker.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, big time. Well, only after I finish. Huh? You get it?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, wow. Yeah. You've climaxed it.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Your. Your feathers do look ruffled.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, that is absolute sweaty. A little ruffled. Awesome. That was awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you. Has anyone else been chasing you, trying to kill you so that they can achieve immortality?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Well, to say that I've got enemies would be an understatement.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't want to do an understatement then, so. No, no, no.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I've got. I've got many, many people who are following me. Now that you mentioned it, Scott, yes, there's been a few different people. It's why I've had to sort of move my practice to various different locations.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't know that you had to do that, so I didn't.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes. No, I'm glad you brought it up. And that's why I won't reveal the. The location of my practice.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you expect to get any business then?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's a difficult time doing things like this, Scott, sort of finding.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you say earlier when you shouldn't have plugged it? You. You mentioned your business, and didn't you say where it was?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I was about to, but then I realized. I'm glad you stopped me, Scott. I'm glad you stopped me, because if I had, then it would have revealed it for all of my enemies.

[Martin Starr]

There were a bunch of people outside in, like, tattered clothes that were chanting, we want the dock. And I wonder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Such a strange thing to chant. Yeah. Documentary. Yeah. I was like, they were talking about Scrubs.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And it's confusing because you're talking about.

[Martin Starr]

The Springsteen dock or. Yeah, or Scrubs.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And we don't know that perspective exactly. We want the doc. Could be many things. It could be, we want treatment, we want diagnosis, or it could mean we want to. They want you cut his head off and hand it to the children that he's wrong.

[Martin Starr]

Someone had a machete, so I'm guessing it's the latter.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

So I appreciate you allowing me to barricade myself here in your studio.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you know, I mean, I get a lot of people who come on the show and want to hang out afterwards for a certain amount of time.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

If that's an option.

[Louis Pantano]

I mean, I moved in.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you feel about sleeping in a car?

[Martin Starr]

Oh, I gotta go soon.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I. I've never slept in what you would call a car.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever been on Dancing with the Stars, by the way?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Way I wish. I wish I did catch that through a window dance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think you would be the best at the foxtrot?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Probably the one that you see in sort of TV shows set in the medieval times, where they sort of have their arms like this up. Up in a sort of teapot shape, and they point and then they sort of hand each other that one or. No, I've never been asked with, like.

[Martin Starr]

A round gourd with strings attached to it, like ukulele, but yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And there's someone playing an instrument that no one actually knows the name of. It's got some strings on it. It looks like a guitar, but it is not a guitar. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not a loot, not a guitar. Something that has a crank on it maybe, too. Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

There also keys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Millions of different things.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I have no idea.

[Louis Pantano]

John, I got a question for you. I know that there's a huge rise in sort of alternative medicine, the Maha movement.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes.

[Louis Pantano]

Not believing in science. Are you getting more business now because of that?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I am getting more. More consultation. Yes, I am indeed. People are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has the government approached you to work with them at all? Because I think this. This the. You know, in general, I would like.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

To say I. I did what he.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is the Surgeon General.

[Martin Starr]

Surgeon General, rfk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yeah, Health and Human Services. I did receive a. A letter from him asking me for a consultation to take a meeting with him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And did you all see recently where he said that circumcisions cause autism.

[Martin Starr]

That would explain it.

[Louis Pantano]

That's my fault. I'm the one that put the worm in his brain. By the way, that was also me. Again, not on my IMDb.

[Scott Aukerman]

He said circumcisions of like really large penises. Yeah. Is that got the diagnosis I got.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I, I, I don't believe he clarified, but if you do look at the data, I do believe, just for your sake, Scott, I do believe that is what he meant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Large.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the one who put the worm into his brain.

[Martin Starr]

Cuz the larger the penis, the larger the foreskin. Am I right?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Martin Starr]

Am I right? That is very true.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Well, proportion is, that's what they say. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, Yes.

[Martin Starr]

I was all foreskin.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

All foreskin.

[Martin Starr]

I really needed to get it out.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Fascinating.

[Martin Starr]

Dick small foreskin was 90.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

But you did have a penis or was it just simply skin?

[Martin Starr]

I'm still not sure. I mean, it's, it's, there's something going on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mine was more like an eight skin.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Wow, Scott, that's incredible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I knew if a bunch of guys were on a podcast together, we would start talking about dick size. I mean, WTF with Obama?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You didn't talk about that with him.

[Martin Starr]

But you should have.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No, but it's, it's, I'm appreciative of this opportunity.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thanks for resetting.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes, no, I saw where we were going.

[Martin Starr]

It got me wondering if Howard Stern has ever interviewed a ex president and gotten him to talk about their dick size.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yeah, I would. You know, I haven't really, I'm not familiar with the show, but in my memory, as a person who has seen a lot of information about the show, I don't believe you ever had had a, a sitting president, nor an ex.

[Scott Aukerman]

President, but potentially he did have a future president.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yeah, he did. He. Oh, indeed he did. The clips are everywhere. But, but I do wonder what, what, what ex president would consider even going, can you imagine Jimmy Carter on, on Howard Stern?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, what about that George H.W. bush? What was that, that joke he used to tell when he would stick his hand up people's butts?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, yeah, that classic.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, the hilarious joke, George Bush, your hand up someone's butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you would know. He said some joke when he would do it. I'm not familiar.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I, I must, I, I, yes, please keep talking because this, as you, as you know, Scott, this would be for me, that would be a joke that someone like me who's interested in Sort of taking in the explanation of people's offices. It would be funny for me to do a joke about putting my hand up someone's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. What would he say?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, will you do this for the doctor, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta find this. Oh yeah, he'd say. He'd say, you know what my favorite Dickens book is? Is David Copperfield. And then he would do it. This has been like memory hold from George H.W. bush.

[Martin Starr]

Wait, is that real?

[Scott Aukerman]

This is very real.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

That's HW2. That's the old. The older one. That's the original.

[Louis Pantano]

The one that threw up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes, in Japan.

[Louis Pantano]

Remember he threw up in Japan. Oh, he was so embarrassed. He got sick. He had the flu and he threw up down himself.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have talked about this. Wait, yeah, on camera.

[Louis Pantano]

Yeah, on camera. You can look it up. It's so. He looks like a little kid. He looks sad and throws up.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so awesome.

[Martin Starr]

He just like throws up on his.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right into his lap. Almost like he's doing something else.

[Louis Pantano]

He's like.

[Martin Starr]

Wait, what do you mean? Masturbating with his vomit? No, like it's lubricant for his penis. Wait, what are you talking about?

[Scott Aukerman]

Dare you say that? I was saying like the acidic bile from his stomach.

[Louis Pantano]

Martin has been my porn.

[Martin Starr]

These are your words.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

And I hear you. Mod. I had the same thought. It would be interesting for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott's thought he forced it on us be quite interesting.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I don't know, it's probably something you'd be into.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh yeah, big time. Oh, what president do you think you.

[Martin Starr]

Got a corkscrew again?

[Louis Pantano]

The biggest dick. And I know I'm getting turned on.

[Martin Starr]

I mean, it's obvious. No, well, I mean we know. I mean we don't even have to get probably Lincoln.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was just so goddamn tall.

[Martin Starr]

That's not what I was thinking but.

[Louis Pantano]

You thinking, oh, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's what you were thinking.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's a deep cut president. It's one of the ones that we can't even remember the name.

[Louis Pantano]

Ta.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

James Taft died in a bathtub.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is he the bathtub death they had to make a big bathtub for? Is. Wow. That's the dream, isn't it? To be just so famous that they make bathtubs.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You know, Scott, as a person.

[Martin Starr]

Tub.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Tub. Yes. You know, it's a dream of mine is to die.

[Martin Starr]

Is Taft Hartley named after him?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think. Yeah, it was. Yeah, yeah. This other guy Hartley. And. And the ex president got together and said we want to find some way for people to join sag.

[Martin Starr]

Nice. Nice.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is your dream to die.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It is my dream to die.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hope that you'll get there someday. I really do. You know, I hope that for everyone.

[Martin Starr]

I year 400.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

When was King Arthur?

[Martin Starr]

Holy.

[Louis Pantano]

What is that?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

1100 or something like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Somewhere around there. I mean, that's over a thousand.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yeah. I was born just after he left power, so however long that is. Wow. I don't know my history. Like I said, I only remember it back to the wardrobe function, so whatever it was. Whatever year that was. But, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I'm very old and, you know, I. I actually have had people try to kill me. Scott. Sure, they've tried. They've.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why don't you just, like, sit there and let them do it?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I was. I was put in a guillotine once in France.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes. I broke the blade.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry.

[Martin Starr]

You're like Wolverine.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, that's a very apt comparison. I just recently saw the X Men movie for the first time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which one?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

The one. The Wolverine. The Wolverine.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's in all of them.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh. Oh, the one. The. The one that. His is his namesake. The one.

[Martin Starr]

That's a good one. Logan.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Logan is.

[Martin Starr]

Logan's great.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

When he's an old man.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

The Wolverine is. When he's a young man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And he goes to Japan.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I saw the place where George H.W. bush.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Wow.

[Martin Starr]

That's what we call.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not in the movie.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Wow. The connective. The connective tissue.

[Martin Starr]

Do you think he ate bad sushi?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I'd have to taste his vomit to know.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Louis Pantano]

Do you get accused of being a pervert?

[Martin Starr]

That's a good point.

[Louis Pantano]

It's mostly about you, like, eating and breathing.

[Martin Starr]

Whoa, whoa.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

That's a great question.

[Martin Starr]

And I'm glad you just met the doctor.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I'm glad you.

[Martin Starr]

And you're judging his practices.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I'm very glad you asked. You know, it's a common assumption. People think that this is sort of sexual gratification in me. Sort of, but. Butter mout. Bluffing. But it is not. It is not. There's no sexual gratification involved in this practice. It's purely.

[Louis Pantano]

I could not do what you do.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You should try.

[Louis Pantano]

No, no, no. I'm just saying I would get too.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Louie, let me fall in your mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Louis Pantano]

Is it my birthday?

[Martin Starr]

Wait, why are your pants already down?

[Louis Pantano]

Okay. It's my birthday, I guess. Holy.

[Martin Starr]

Louie hasn't even answered yet and your pants are down and you're already bending.

[Scott Aukerman]

Over and spreading shoes doing this in the corner by the nest.

[Louis Pantano]

As always, boys, look directly at me or look away.

[Martin Starr]

All right, I agree.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, you guys have at it. We, unfortunately, we are running out of time. Does that surprise you, Doctor? I'm so sorry, but that's okay.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

We are running out of time.

[Louis Pantano]

You.

[Scott Aukerman]

You go do your business.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

But no, we'll have a. We'll have a session here.

[Scott Aukerman]

We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called Plugs. A guy walked in to a bar.

[Martin Starr]

Ouch.

[Scott Aukerman]

I never understood that joke until now. I want love. I want blood. I want plug. I want plug. I want plug. All right, that was a guy walked into a plug. Ouch. By Sean Payne. Sean Payne. Spelled like champagne. Thank you to Sean Payne. If you have a Plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com plugs and you can upload your own songs. You can find our own own Closing up the Plug Bag song. So you can turn into a remix. You can upload that there. Everything you want. All right, guys, what are we plugging? Martin, what do you got to plug? You have two things going on right now.

[Martin Starr]

I just want to take a step back here, because I think you started the whole show with a quote from 2023 in the mailbag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wouldn't call it a quote as much as a catchphrase submission.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, but that's kind of implies that's a quote.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I guess so. I guess I'm quoting someone who wrote something down on a website and sent it to me.

[Martin Starr]

Be. So I'm right again.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. What do you want to play?

[Martin Starr]

That's it. I just. Just want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just wanted to do that?

[Martin Starr]

I want to double check.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about the Hand that rocks the Cradle?

[Martin Starr]

That is coming out on Hulu. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But if you ever want to see.

[Martin Starr]

If you ever want the best candy in the world, you go to sweetstash.com.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not the most candy, because although you could eat a lot of it.

[Martin Starr]

Well, you can order more than five bags. In fact, you counted up to 100.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. Couldn't do any further than that. But I got all the way there. That'd be 20 orders.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah. Look at you, dude. A fucking math wizard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. And I haven't opened mine yet, but I'm. I'm gonna the minute this is done, and I'm gonna just eat myself silly. But sweetstache.com is where you can get this candy.

[Martin Starr]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

And do you eat the candy in the movie? At all.

[Martin Starr]

Like, dude, I eat it in the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

You eat it in Tulsa King.

[Martin Starr]

I had.

[Scott Aukerman]

I.

[Martin Starr]

We had just finished production when we were shooting Tulsa Gang. So I had a bunch of bags around and everyone was really sweet, and I put it in the show.

[Louis Pantano]

Show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's cool. So, like, you're just sitting there in your store or whatever and you're popping it in your mouth or like, you'll.

[Martin Starr]

Have to wait and see. You'll have to wait and see.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, this is exciting. Sweetstash.com jams is the candy hand. The rocks Cradle is the movie. Tulsa King is the TV show. Louis Pentano. What do you want to plug?

[Louis Pantano]

Well, Jams, I got through almost an entire bag in the time I was sitting here. Holy smokes. It's so good.

[Martin Starr]

I'm glad you liked them.

[Louis Pantano]

Loved. And check out Hay Riddle Riddle. We're on tour a little bit the rest of the year as well, if you want to check out a riddles and puzzles podcast.

[Martin Starr]

And riddles and puzzles.

[Louis Pantano]

Riddles, Puzzles. Lateral thinking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you like riddles and puzzles, Martin?

[Martin Starr]

I love a. I love a. Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Check out this podcast.

[Louis Pantano]

We'd love to have you on the show at any point.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a verbal commitment to be on two more podcasts. All right. Scott hasn't seen where we're gonna watch Patch Adams.

[Louis Pantano]

Last time I was on Patch.

[Martin Starr]

I think we're not watching Patch Adams. That's the rule.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you want to be on to not watch Patch Adams.

[Martin Starr]

That's what you said it's called. We haven't watched this shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the first part of it. We watch it.

[Louis Pantano]

It's a trap. I had to watch Daddy's Home too, for that show, so. Jesus. Well, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the one who picks what women want the first time.

[Louis Pantano]

Oh, right. Yes. And then hurt people. Hurt people. And it was. Been a back and forth ever since. And then also text Louis to 215158 to vote for me on Dancing with the Stars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wonderful. Reginald Barbary, what do you want to plug?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Oh, I would of course, love to plug my. My. My medieval medicine factory. Of course, you can Google that and find out all the information that you. That I will make available for people, which is not, of course, but you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Won'T give the location.

[Martin Starr]

What's the. What's the website? Medieval.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's. It's. It's. Reginald Barbary, Medieval Medicine Factory dot com.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So many words.

[Martin Starr]

It's so contemporary for a medieval.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why didn't you add Ye old At the beginning of it or something.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It was taken. Oh, it was taken. I couldn't.

[Martin Starr]

There's another doctor with your name.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

There must be.

[Martin Starr]

Who is a medieval doctor.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Practice. Incredibly frustrating. It's why my Gmail address is what it is as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your Gmail?

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, what's your Gmail?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Reginald bobbery, medieval medicine doctor. 227mail.com. But I'd also like to plug. I was. I was recently. Actually.

[Martin Starr]

Did you try all the other ones and got to 227?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It took me ages on a computer in the first place.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would have gone for one. Then I would have done like two. Then I would have went up to 10.

[Martin Starr]

Or is your birthday. It's either that or your birthday is like February 27th.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Unfortunately, the 227 has no emotional significance for me, Martin. It's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you a Jack fan?

[Martin Starr]

Why are you crying while you say.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I just wish I could have gotten a normal Gmail? It makes me so sad.

[Scott Aukerman]

So sorry.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No, it's fine. But also, if you. If you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were a guest on a podcast.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

I was guest on a podcast, the Brett Tort show with Buddy. It's a podcast. Podcast that you can. You can subscribe to wherever you listen to podcasts hosted by these other gentlemen who I look. I look a bit like one of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. And where. And people can get this anywhere.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

They can get that anywhere they get podcasts. There's also a Patreon. The Brett DiMacho. Patreon.com Brett the Mot Show. It's a lovely show. They were lovely to have me on that show. And you could also get other podcasts and live special materials from Big Grande, which is a group I'm a big fan of. And that's Big Grande website dot com.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big Grande website related to Ariana, I wish. Or Frankie Grande, maybe.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes. Yes. That's actually the inspiration. That was the inspiration.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Frankie, Yes. All right, well, what do I want to plug? I want to plug.

[Martin Starr]

Yes, Scott, what do you want to plug?

[Scott Aukerman]

We have throwback T shirts in the store right now as well as the T shirt with. What was it?

[Louis Pantano]

Nick Scott, I couldn't even begin to.

[Martin Starr]

Guess my corkscrew and my crack.

[Louis Pantano]

Okay, new T shirt coming out that says that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. We have bandwidth for this T shirt.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

We do have some old T shirts that we're bringing back out on the store. New versions of. We have technicality. No. Down. Boo. Over and. Hang on, man. Ain't nothing to. With Throwback TE's buy one throwback T shirt. Get a second 30% off with code. [e-mail] Comedy Bang Bang.

[Martin Starr]

There any capitals in there? Just lowercase throwback.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just throw. I mean, you could probably capitalize it and it'll take you somewhere, I'm sure.

[Martin Starr]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you want to mention AX Action figures, then we got them Italiano Jones and Entre P. Newer action figures. They are now on [e-mail] I'm looking at them right now. They're gorgeous. Also in stock, Randy Snuts and Carissa, Big sue sprague, the whisperer, J.W. stillwater, and some of myself. You can complete your collection. European customers can go to action figureseller.com for cheaper import fees.

[Martin Starr]

When are you doing action figures for the eight timers?

[Scott Aukerman]

I would. I would love to do an action figure of you. Do you mind sitting around for the molding process?

[Martin Starr]

This. How long does it take?

[Louis Pantano]

It's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you're over and done in about 10 hours. You gotta do both sides.

[Martin Starr]

You remember when I said I'm not busy at the beginning of this podcast? I think 10 hours might be my.

[Scott Aukerman]

That might be the limit. Okay. That's only about probably 8.

[Martin Starr]

So I could do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you can do that.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

A little bit of reggae music.

[Martin Starr]

You know, Dragon Mom.

[Scott Aukerman]

My neck. My neck.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Respect my neck.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all have bags. They need some clothes in.

[Martin Starr]

We need these bags.

[Scott Aukerman]

My neck.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Because we're nosing that in.

[Scott Aukerman]

These bags are lots of love. Losing up that. Not because you know you got it right. All right, thank you so much. That was whole lot of plugs. Dread Zepp mix. Do you. Do you know Dread Zeppelin? Martin, You'll. You'll figure it out in a few years. I think once you hit 50, I think you'll. You'll. You'll watch the documentary, I think.

[Martin Starr]

Dread Zeppelin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dread Zeppelin. Yeah. You'll get there. That was by Alexandre. Peter. Oh, God. That's three French names in a row. And I don't speak French. But thank you to them for that. And, guys, I want to thank you so much for being on the show. Martin's so great to see you again.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, likewise. Very fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can't wait to watch Patch Adams with you.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then do another pod.

[Martin Starr]

Don't watch the movie, though. We just break it down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just break it down.

[Martin Starr]

Break it on down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's just bro out and break it down.

[Martin Starr]

Break it down.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. That's that would be a very interesting episode, I think.

[Martin Starr]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not watch the movie and then just talk about it as. As if we've watched it.

[Martin Starr]

That's what I'm. Yeah, that's what you said this was, and then you lied to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think it was a lie. I think it was. You said a lie of omission.

[Martin Starr]

Yeah, perhaps that's a lie, dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

I beg your pardon. I don't like to lie to my guests, but sometimes you have to in order to book them on another podcast. I'll get that email address from you on your way out. And then also Louis Pentano, you can.

[Martin Starr]

Just email the Dr.

[Scott Aukerman]

Louis Pintano. Good luck to you on Dancing with the Stars.

[Louis Pantano]

Thank you so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're pulling for you and for Andy.

[Louis Pantano]

Thank you. If you're gonna vote for one of us, I'll vote for me, not Andy.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was that number that you were supposed to?

[Louis Pantano]

215-85-12.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And Reginald. What more needs to be said, buddy?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Hey, I appreciate that. Scott. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great meeting you.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Great to meet you as well.

[Martin Starr]

All of you.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

It's been a one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry I snapped at you.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

No, no, it's okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Earlier.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

You know, you could snap at me whenever you'd like, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Yes. Permission. Broad permission to anyone in here to treat me however you'd like to treat me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? So. Wow. Yes.

[Louis Pantano]

Here goes the corkscrew again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's happening. There's.

[Dr. Reginald Barbary]

Nobody was.

[Martin Starr]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

See you next time. Thanks. Bye.

[Martin Starr]

Oh, God.

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