
Hannah Einbinder is back this week to discuss name pronunciation, her love of Eagles football, and "Hacks" returning for its fourth season. Then, Deion Sanders (shoutout to Shaboozey) returns to clap his hands, stomp his feet, and talk about "Step by Step." Finally, psychic Abby Spot joins to talk about her past experience as a dog. #DeionOnHacks
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Scott Aukerman
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Hana Einbinder
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Scott Aukerman
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Hana Einbinder
I see London, I see France. I see your house on Google Maps. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thanks to Dick Michelob for that catchphrase submission. Dick Michelob. It's pretty catchy. Other than saying Google. Google is so hard to pronounce, isn't it? I'm going to talk to our guest of honor. Yeah, Google. Try to say Google, if you don't mind.
Abby Spot
Okay, here I go. Google.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, not bad. You really stress the L. Yeah, Google.
Abby Spot
But, you know, isolating Google is one thing. Saying it in a sentence, you know, it's like kind of say, I see.
Hana Einbinder
London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps.
Abby Spot
I see London, I see France, I see your house on Google Maps.
Hana Einbinder
That is a Bachelor of Fine Arts for you. That's what it gets you.
Abby Spot
Absolutely. Well, we did some vocal warmups and exercises before we got on Mike, of course. So that's what that was for.
Hana Einbinder
What was your warm up? Did you have to craft a warmup? And I'll introduce you in a second.
Abby Spot
By all means.
Hana Einbinder
And what. What did you do in your warm up? Did you speak the speech I pray you as it comes trippingly off the tongue?
Abby Spot
I sort of would do. Scott Ackerman. Scott. Scott.
Hana Einbinder
So even before you knew me.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
You knew to mispronounce my last name?
Abby Spot
First of all, Ackerman.
Hana Einbinder
Do your own research. Wait, like I do with the vaccines? Wait, Aukerman is how it's pronounced. But that's okay. We know each other a bit socially. We've been to one party together.
Abby Spot
We went to one party. We went to one party at the.
Hana Einbinder
Same time, had a 30 second interaction.
Abby Spot
That you regretted, from what I can.
Hana Einbinder
Tell, and you don't remember, which is pretty much the story of my life.
Abby Spot
And by the way, it's like There's a possibility that at one time I did know what the A was doing in your last name. But one thing you can guarantee with me is that I will forget.
Hana Einbinder
That's okay. I'm going to try to pronounce you. I actually was going over it this morning saying, do I have it right, by the way?
Abby Spot
And that's because. Because I am Einbinder. I know those things. Don't those. Oh, Hannah's what's giving you trouble.
Hana Einbinder
If it was Hannah or Hannah. Wow.
Abby Spot
That. You'd be the first to be thrown by the first name, actually, which is impressive. You, you, you're a trailblazer.
Hana Einbinder
Well, let's introduce you. She, of course plays. I'm gonna. I'm gonna say Ava. Is it Ava?
Abby Spot
Ava.
Hana Einbinder
It's Ava. Ava Voy. Which is returning to Max. Is it on HBO proper as well?
Abby Spot
Or, you know, who could ever really know?
Hana Einbinder
Who knows with these conglomerates these days what comes out where. But it's returning for a fourth season on April 10th. Wet day. Of course we'll talk about that. Please welcome back to the show, Hana Einbinder.
Abby Spot
Hello.
Hana Einbinder
Hello, friend.
Abby Spot
Hello. This is my third time on here.
Hana Einbinder
You welcome to the third. Third time. Three Timers Club.
Abby Spot
The three Time Club. Who, who, who, who's. Who's the high highest number of times on here?
Hana Einbinder
I couldn't even tell you the highest number. All I can tell you is the more you're on, the worse your career seems to be doing because the One Timers Club is where you want to be. That's Paul Rudd, that's Ben Stiller, that's Childish Gambino himself. Then the more you're on, just the more like available you are.
Abby Spot
Totally. Unfortunately, I have to be so honest with you. I really dismiss despise a podcast, but I just can't quit you.
Hana Einbinder
This one you love. I tell you each time we reach out to your people and you have so many people.
Abby Spot
Oh God.
Hana Einbinder
But each time we reach out to your people to see if you'd like to be on, I get back a response of she's incredibly busy. I doubt this will work out. And then within 12 hours you say yes, which I assume is coming from you personally, which is always very nice.
Abby Spot
Because I love it and it's so fun and you always have awesome, amazing people on and I love to hang.
Hana Einbinder
Wonderful. Well, let's get to your career.
Abby Spot
Sure.
Hana Einbinder
Turn the spotlight away.
Abby Spot
That's a strong word for it.
Hana Einbinder
But let's talk about first of all, I mentioned Wet Day Hacks comes out On Wet Day.
Abby Spot
And what could that. What is that?
Hana Einbinder
It's a holiday. Of course, it's not national yet, but we're trying to make it national holiday. It's April 10, so it lands squarely on Wet Day. Is there going to be any sort of nod to that in the show? Are you going to be drenched at any points in the premiere?
Abby Spot
Wet Day is a holiday for being moist.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Where people get as wet as they can possibly be.
Abby Spot
And who. Where's this. Where's this coming from, I wonder?
Hana Einbinder
Well, we. Paul F. Tompkins and I created it maybe four years ago, and we celebrate it every year, and we're trying to get. Yes. Wet Day.
Abby Spot
Hmm.
Hana Einbinder
So I believe the reasoning behind it is people get drenched in practical jokes on April 1, and then they have nine days to dry off, and then they want to be wet again.
Abby Spot
Oh, my God, I love that. You know, I will run it up the corporate ladder, please. I'll see if we can do kind of an activation around that. That would be really great.
Hana Einbinder
Let's do some reshoots, too, for the premiere.
Abby Spot
We'll go back and we'll get a little nod in there. That's great.
Hana Einbinder
Hacks. This year. Of course, we all saw season three where it ended with what's her name, Deborah, doing the unthinkable and not giving you the job that you wanted, but still keeping you on staff.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
And then you turning around and blackmailing her ass. Get her ass. Get her, Ava.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
And you're now the. A head writer on her late night show. So I presume this season takes place within the. The late night wars.
Abby Spot
That's right. That's right. We're. We've got cue cards, we've got pet cams, cue card fans.
Hana Einbinder
You're covered.
Abby Spot
You are being served. Okay. Representation matters, and we are here for you. I mean, the amount of cue cards in this season, really. Two more.
Hana Einbinder
More.
Abby Spot
A lot of, you know, we do some montages. I don't want to spoil anything, but the cue cards are heavily montages.
Hana Einbinder
Really.
Abby Spot
So it' like your time is now.
Hana Einbinder
Deborah giving the monologue and then cutting to the cue card guy.
Abby Spot
Just like, it's Ava going. No, no, no.
Hana Einbinder
We, we, we.
Abby Spot
We're going to change that because we had a rewrite on it. Yeah. Oh, sorry. You got to make that bigger. You know, it's just like kind of, you know, cue card business. We got a lot of that.
Hana Einbinder
Did you have to do any research in, like, how to be a late night writer on this? Did you like Shadow the writers at SNL for.
Abby Spot
Oh, God. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't.
Hana Einbinder
I just pretty much read the lines.
Abby Spot
I did. Yeah. I would memorize the lines and say them aloud. That's kind of my.
Hana Einbinder
That's your stock and trade.
Abby Spot
Yeah, yeah.
Hana Einbinder
If you're, if you're hiring a ha. She's going to read those lines. You're going to memorize them the day of or the day before.
Abby Spot
Oh, I, I actually, in all seriousness, I actually do try to be off book for the, the week. The entire week.
Hana Einbinder
I believe that we talked about this on your last appearance. Don't you try to kind of, when you get the scripts for the entire season, you just try to, like.
Abby Spot
I try to go through. Because you know what, it's just, you know, the, the shooting schedule is pretty tough on my body. I'm fragile.
Hana Einbinder
Really? In what manner? Like you have to get up early at the end or.
Abby Spot
Well, I would say. Well, you know, I'm there five days a week and typically the days are like a job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is tough, obviously. On the, on the spirit and soul as an, as a, you know, capitalism hopefully is on its way out and that'll go with it, thankfully.
Hana Einbinder
That would be so great where like you could just show up to your acting job and get the wage that everyone else gets.
Abby Spot
Yeah, of course.
Hana Einbinder
And stand in line for the bread.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
On the weekends.
Abby Spot
Yes. Well, well, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's 13 hours, pretty, pretty much.
Hana Einbinder
That's the part that people don't know about is shooting. There's this phrase that I came up with when it comes to shooting television and film, and it's hurry up and also wait.
Abby Spot
Yes.
Hana Einbinder
And it takes a long time and you're sitting around. And not just sitting around. If it's a fast moving crew, you're shooting a lot. How many pages you do in a day?
Abby Spot
Oh, my God. Who could even know? I mean, we're all over the place for episode three, episode four, episode six.
Hana Einbinder
So you block shoot sometimes. Do you have different directors coming in, like at different points in the day because they're doing episodes, or do you try, you know what I'm saying?
Abby Spot
Sometimes, but typically it's just Paul and Lucia.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, they're directing most of the season.
Abby Spot
They direct most of the season. And then we'll have like a guest director who's, who's doing it this year.
Hana Einbinder
Martin Scorsese.
Abby Spot
I don't know if they've announced it yet, actually.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, really? Okay. I'd love to break it on the show. So go ahead.
Abby Spot
Okay. Yeah, I. I don't know if it's.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, okay. Apparently Hana is giving me the slashing her throat signal, saying she can't do it. Apparent she'll go against her people by being on this show, but that's as far as it goes. So does the entire season kind of take place in this. I mean, at this point, you started off as in the series. You started off as a lowly comedy writer who couldn't get a job, and then now you're at the top of your profession. You're the head writer of a late night show. Is that just the first episode and then the show gets canceled or does the whole season take place?
Abby Spot
Well, yeah, there is an adversarial sort of dynamic at play between Ava and Deborah throughout a good chunk of the season. So that's, that's because you guys have.
Hana Einbinder
Been adversaries in some seasons. You've been tighter than tight in others, and it looked like you were the tightest at the end of season three. And then she pulled the old switcheroo.
Abby Spot
She did. She. She absolutely betrayed me. And there will be big hell to pay.
Hana Einbinder
Really.
Abby Spot
And don't take the insecurity in my voice for any sort of. That it's gonna be.
Hana Einbinder
Do you ever raise your voice to her?
Abby Spot
You know, I do, which is hard for me because I'm pretty much. I have chill. Yeah, that's kind of my vibe. Callie. Callie. Running through my veins.
Hana Einbinder
Speaking of which, I want to get to. We've talked about hacks enough. Yeah, I want. It's. It's out on April 10th. I want to talk about your Wikipedia page. Uh, oh, because we have of course, the aforementioned Bachelor. Or do you call it a Bachelorette of Fine Arts when you've gotten it?
Abby Spot
How dare you? How fucking dare you.
Hana Einbinder
We have a website that I clicked on, hannahbinder.com.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
There is one section home and there are approximately four pictures on it.
Abby Spot
I think. You know, back in my, my, my early days when I, when I had a bunch of shows around town and touring dates, I. I needed more activity. I needed a domain. And you know, my dad was an early Apple nerd and. And so he would go to Mac World and you know, his email. I can't say it, but it's pretty simple. It's one of the simple ackom emails.
Hana Einbinder
That really like jim@Mac.com.
Abby Spot
I wouldn't go that far, but it's. It's it's in that range, so.
Hana Einbinder
Because I'm not seeing his. His name on your.
Abby Spot
Oh, here it is.
Hana Einbinder
Yes.
Abby Spot
He. He. He. He made that. That. That website for me. Very, very young. So it's.
Hana Einbinder
I mean, the pictures are gorgeous.
Abby Spot
Not that anyone's gonna@hannah einbinder.com.
Hana Einbinder
But make sure you have. Okay, so I'm going to skip down to personal life. Oh, there's three things.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Hana Einbinder
No, sorry. Four. Four things. You reside in Los Angeles, California.
Abby Spot
That's a fact. And I hope to die here.
Hana Einbinder
Not specific enough for me.
Abby Spot
Yeah, reside is a problem.
Hana Einbinder
No, reside. Reside is good because I. I love to hear that you reside somewhere, that you're not just living somewhere.
Abby Spot
I can't. I can't help but reside. Actually, that's a problem.
Hana Einbinder
Los Angeles is too big. Like, I need to narrow this down.
Abby Spot
Well, I, for my safety, would hope that you wouldn't.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, okay. All right.
Abby Spot
I don't want anyone to know I'm.
Hana Einbinder
Binder is bisexual.
Abby Spot
Yeah, it's.
Hana Einbinder
That should be under, like, too personal of a life.
Abby Spot
I don't think so. I disagree.
Hana Einbinder
You. You think that should be out there?
Abby Spot
Yeah. Let my freak flag fly.
Hana Einbinder
All right. You have adhd, no doubt.
Abby Spot
No doubt.
Hana Einbinder
So all of these are ones. One's about where you live, one's about your. How I live, how you live. One's about what is in the way of you living, and then. Then I'm not sure if this is really equitable to the other three, but you are a longtime supporter of the Philadelphia Eagles.
Abby Spot
That is important.
Hana Einbinder
That's very important. So that very. That belongs up there.
Abby Spot
This is actually a really incredible picture of kind of my vibe, I think.
Hana Einbinder
Tell me about the super bowl this year. What were you doing? How excited were you? What was going on?
Abby Spot
Thank you for asking this question.
Hana Einbinder
No other podcast is going to ask you.
Abby Spot
No, they're not. And I'm here. This is why I say yes when they say don't do it.
Hana Einbinder
You know, I want to hear everything, by the way, like, leading up to it, the anticipation.
Abby Spot
Oh, yeah. I've got a story for you. So, my dad and I, there's a bar that we frequent in Santa Monica. By the way.
Hana Einbinder
Can I interject one second?
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Why do you like the Eagle so much? Well, because you're from Los Angeles, we've established that you went to college. Your page says Chapman University in Orange County.
Abby Spot
Go Panthers. Do you want to. Okay, okay.
Hana Einbinder
Some Chapman fans in the house.
Abby Spot
Some Panthers in the. In the house.
Hana Einbinder
I went to a concert there once. Anyway, go ahead.
Abby Spot
What did you see?
Hana Einbinder
I believe the Vandals played there. Oh, punk band. Anyway, go ahead.
Abby Spot
So my dad's from Philly, and my dad had a very strong connection to the Eagles through his father. And really, that's really all sports are, is just wanting to be near your dad and watching him go through a full specter of emotions. That's kind of what that's about.
Hana Einbinder
Because dads traditionally don't go through many emotions.
Abby Spot
Yeah. But this is a setting where, I mean, you just can't imagine 2018. We did this. Something similar to what we did this year when the Eagles won the super bowl and my dad at one point was crying and did point to the sky and say, this one's for you, dad. So that's. That is what happened. And that's true about what happened, and I think that that sums up why I'm invested.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Abby Spot
So.
Hana Einbinder
So this is a way to connect to your father. That's. I love that for sure. Do you guys go to games together or do you just. Have you ever been to a game together?
Abby Spot
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, we grew. I. We grew up. I grew up going. Going to games in Philly. My dad's dad had season tickets and they've been passed down. They're kind of like, you know, high up there, but they've been pass. And. And we don't live in Philly, so they went to, you know, my cousins over there. And so whenever we would go back, we would. We would at the. At the Link. Lincoln Financial.
Hana Einbinder
Sure.
Abby Spot
Yeah. You're like, I believe you. I have no choice but to believe you. Take your word for it.
Hana Einbinder
Bald face lying to me.
Abby Spot
Yeah, but. But, yeah, so. So this year we went to our. Our. Our favorite Eagles bar, which is a very strict green only environment.
Hana Einbinder
Okay. So if you were to come in. I forget who they played this year, but. Oh, the Kansas City. Yeah. Y. Yeah. The look on Taylor Swift's face when her man lost. You could see her calculating how much longer do I stay in this relationship? She's from.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Traitorous.
Abby Spot
I know. I can't believe it.
Hana Einbinder
Traitorous. Yeah. So if you were to come in. In Kansas City colors, which I believe are red and maybe yellow or something to that effect or like wielding a tomahawk. Why is that team still.
Abby Spot
I don't. You know, they.
Hana Einbinder
Anyway, but if you were to come into that bar doing that, you would get what would happen.
Abby Spot
You can't come into that in you.
Hana Einbinder
They wouldn't even allow.
Abby Spot
Turned away. Yes.
Hana Einbinder
Wow. Yeah. Okay. And this is in Los Angeles, Santa Monica, California. There's a bar for like everything.
Abby Spot
Yeah, yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Abby Spot
Eagles fans. A lot of, lot of Philly fans in California, especially because, you know la, we don't. We didn't have a sports football team for many years, so people had to kind of just pick.
Hana Einbinder
Right, right.
Abby Spot
Okay, so. So, so the bar opened at 10, we got there at 8 because. And is there a line? Why like there, there started a line when we got there and we got there at 8. And to get in on Super Bowl Sunday, you had to have come two days prior to get passes.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, okay. It's a small bar, so let me ask you the passes, guaranteed entry.
Abby Spot
Yes.
Hana Einbinder
So why come two hours early? To get a good seat.
Abby Spot
Good table, Good table. Got to get that good table upstairs.
Hana Einbinder
Is it just the two of you?
Abby Spot
Just the two of us.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, so you want a 2 top?
Abby Spot
We want a 2. Well, we want a 2 top, but we're happy to make friends and we always do. Let me tell you something. By the end of the night, I was in a group chat with a family, okay? Okay. I heard their whole story. Okay. The girls are, the girls are texting me, okay? Three kids, they're all queer. Their dad was a pastor. He left the church because the church didn't accept his kids and moved him out to L. A.
Hana Einbinder
What family?
Abby Spot
Let's be in a group chat.
Hana Einbinder
Yes. I love this.
Abby Spot
Text me, here's my number.
Hana Einbinder
This is how available you are, 100% to the people out there in these streets.
Abby Spot
100%. So, so we, we line up at, at 8, we get in at 10. The game doesn't start till 3:30. Okay.
Hana Einbinder
You want to see the anthem?
Abby Spot
Look, you know, we get in there, we're seated, we're exhausted already when we walk it, which is so weak.
Hana Einbinder
This is like a full day of shooting on Hacks.
Abby Spot
I'm telling. No, I'm telling you. You know, it's. First of all, it's grueling work for, for all involved.
Hana Einbinder
Well, first of all, to stand up in, in a line for two hours, I, I don't even like that part of it. You know what I mean?
Abby Spot
I'm in a damn Eagles poncho. I've been walking, pacing Santa Monica.
Hana Einbinder
Wait, was it raining that day? I can't recall.
Abby Spot
It. It, it wasn't raining.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, I want all the details. These.
Abby Spot
Okay, it wasn't raining. But you know, we're, we're by the beach, so we got that marine layer. There's a chill, there's a Chill in the air.
Hana Einbinder
This is good intel.
Abby Spot
Crisp sea chill.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Abby Spot
And so we get in there and we're, you know, look, chicken fingers in the morning, that's what they got.
Hana Einbinder
I mean, I can't imagine they would serve any kind of breakfast food, so.
Abby Spot
No. Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
So chicken fingers, that's great.
Abby Spot
And you know, people start to trickle in. There's a table next to us.
Hana Einbinder
So there was no line.
Abby Spot
No. Nope.
Hana Einbinder
People are now trickling in.
Abby Spot
Well, here's the thing about my, my father, and thus me. We are always prepared for battle. Kind of like the airport is a battleground. The bar is a battleground. Like, we are planners and we are. All right, look, we got to get there 6:45. Like 6:45 earliest. That's my, my dad is super. That's my reco. You know, we get there 6:45, we spread out. Look, so we're early. I'd rather be early than late. We need to get that table because, look, the back support for a game like this, I mean, we were in it long haul. So what are we doing? You know, that is, is there a.
Hana Einbinder
World where you could have breezed in at 3:30 and still gotten in and gotten an okay table?
Abby Spot
God, I wish this podcast was video. You should see the look I'm getting.
Hana Einbinder
Scott, you are befuddled by this question. You're, you're aghast, you're horrified at the mere intimation that you would come that close to the game.
Abby Spot
3:30, we're gonna miss all the commentary. What are you thinking? Scott, get your head in the game.
Hana Einbinder
Was the commentary really worth it? When you were watching, like, was it good comment. Did it prepare you?
Abby Spot
I want to watch both teams warm up. I want to watch all the old footballers who are now the announcers do the tush push in the middle of New Orleans. I want to watch all of that. I need all of that. You know, I need, I need the pregame. And, and you know, this game was really symbolically this game. And I, and I have a theory about this. You know, the, the world has never been worse, Scott. I don't, I don't have to tell.
Hana Einbinder
You that we've, I mean there, I, I, I think there are certain pockets of the world, they only invented indoor plumbing, you know, 100 years ago. So.
Abby Spot
Yes, but, but I would say that the, I would say that the, the issue of, of climate change has accelerated the state of the world to arguably have never been worse.
Hana Einbinder
But I think the, I think the years where the, the dinosaurs and the humans were There together right after Adam and Eve.
Deion Sanders
Sure.
Abby Spot
Yes.
Hana Einbinder
Was there. Those were probably bad for humans.
Abby Spot
I would say they were. Okay, so let's say, let's say the.
Hana Einbinder
The world is what, like, like 3,000 years old?
Abby Spot
Yeah. Let's talk after the pod.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Abby Spot
I want to talk to you about some stuff.
Hana Einbinder
I'd love to. I have some literature for you, too.
Abby Spot
Okay. Okay. Yeah, me too. Likewise. Okay, likewise. Same.
Hana Einbinder
We'll just, like, point literature at each other.
Abby Spot
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'll fix it. That's typically how it works and that's how people grow, but. Yeah. So how did we get there anyway? Anyway, the culture, I think, is at a. Is at a beautiful point in response to how horrifying the world is. And frankly, you know, so many of the Kansas City Chiefs players have let us down in this time. You know, the Kansas City Chiefs, Chiefs players, Patrick Mahomes, that's the quarterback, he was saying that he would, you know, be pleased to have President Trump come and watch him play football. You know, Travis Kelsey, frankly, said the same. And so this was spiritually, this game was, you know, symbolized, kind of. Kind of look at a war of ideologies.
Hana Einbinder
Good. Over.
Abby Spot
Yeah, absolutely.
Hana Einbinder
And, and to you, the Philadelphia Eagles are good.
Abby Spot
You're damn right. By the way, in 2018 and this year, during both of Trump's presidencies, the Philadelphia Eagles have declined to appear at the White House.
Hana Einbinder
They agreed to go this time. No, I believe I'm going to look this up. I hate to throw you off your game, but.
Abby Spot
No, you got to look.
Hana Einbinder
I believe I saw a headline about.
Abby Spot
That, but did you? Because I saw one that said that they did. They declined to go.
Hana Einbinder
I. That was early, but. Well, I see one week ago date for Philadelphia Eagles visit to White House after Super Bowl.
Abby Spot
No.
Hana Einbinder
What? L, I X. What the fuck is this? 59.
Abby Spot
50.
Hana Einbinder
50. Yeah, 59. We're 10 away.
Abby Spot
What, what, what news source is this?
Hana Einbinder
This is CBS News, so I don't know whether I trust the lamestream media on this. Okay, well, do it. What? Do we need to go to the Philadelphia Eagles.com we need to go to.
Abby Spot
Call my dad and see what's up.
Hana Einbinder
Is there any universe where he's been keeping this information from you?
Abby Spot
Definitely, yeah. I'm his baby girl. Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
He wants to protect you, of course. Yes.
Abby Spot
Okay, well, that's really disappointing and I don't stand with that.
Hana Einbinder
Maybe they're not all going.
Abby Spot
I have to imagine they're not all going.
Hana Einbinder
There's bad apples in every barrel.
Abby Spot
Of course look, the point is that they declined in 2018, which I'm stoked about this, I am disappointed about. And I will be reaching out to, you know, whoever I can.
Hana Einbinder
Sure.
Abby Spot
To prevent this.
Hana Einbinder
Through hbo.
Abby Spot
Yes, yes.
Hana Einbinder
Through Warner Brothers.
Abby Spot
I'll walk up the max ladder and ring the bell. But the point is, you know, this was a. This was a blowout. This was a blowout victory.
Hana Einbinder
The first three plays, weren't they like interceptions and, and running back for touchdown?
Abby Spot
It was, it was, it was ludicrous. We just. It was huge.
Hana Einbinder
It wasn't. It like 183 to nothing @ one point.
Abby Spot
It. Well, I don't. It was. Well, the final score, I believe, was 40. 41 to 22.
Hana Einbinder
So close.
Abby Spot
Yeah, but that's. And that's like, like really outrageous. So it just, it was a great.
Hana Einbinder
It was a trouncing.
Abby Spot
Yes.
Hana Einbinder
And you were, you were there. Were you, like, I would imagine a cheer came out of your lips at least once?
Abby Spot
Oh, I'm screaming. I'm absolutely sending out blood curdling screams. I'm chest bumping a man. I don't know. I'm swirling beads in the air. I'm, you know, cheering on someone's mom who's gotten on the pool table, who's kind of, you know, ripping her jersey off and twirling it around her head. I mean, it's mayhem. It's absolutely mayhem.
Hana Einbinder
I love this. And these are special times with your father.
Abby Spot
Absolutely.
Hana Einbinder
I love that.
Abby Spot
Undoubtedly.
Hana Einbinder
So now do you agree with me? I was talking about this. I'm glad I was talking about this. On a previous episode where the part where the guy takes the football, this is at the start of each play, and then he's forced to, like, throw it through his legs while he's bending over. That's emasculating. Right. He should just turn around and throw it to the quarterback. Right.
Abby Spot
I think this brings up a larger question of what masculinity is to you, Scott.
Hana Einbinder
That's a good point. But I just, I think a sport where, like, it doesn't. It doesn't start until a guy just like bends over and throws something through his legs granny style.
Abby Spot
Well, you know, Jenny Slate actually has a really great joke about this where she says she's in the one Timers Club. I believe she's in the one time. Well, look, I can't relate. Can't really. Couldn't be me. I'm here for the third time. Yeah. And I chose to do that. But she says, like, they all wear a costume and throw around the toy, which I think is funny. Yeah. So it definitely is like a silly game.
Hana Einbinder
It's silly. And I. I think. I also think that the quarterback. If I were to change the rules, the quarterback should throw to the end zone every play. Should be forced to.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Like, like all or nothing. Every single time.
Abby Spot
Okay. I mean, yeah, that's. Yeah, that's why.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. It sounds like heresy to you. You're shocked.
Abby Spot
You don't like it.
Hana Einbinder
You like the game as it is.
Abby Spot
I like plays. I like. I like creative plays. I like a handoff. I like a little sneak. I like, you know, get the ball to Saquon. He's going to do a little bit of weaving, you know what I mean?
Hana Einbinder
I think it's okay to hand the ball off to someone as long as if they don't make it into the end zone, then the game is forfeit.
Abby Spot
Okay. So, yeah, it's just maybe not your. Maybe you'll stick to, like, this sort of a thing and I want to.
Hana Einbinder
Start my own league is what I'm saying. I need investors.
Abby Spot
Oh, yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Abby Spot
Good luck. Good luck.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Abby Spot
I wish you luck.
Hana Einbinder
Thank you so much. Well, hacks, of course, is out on wet day. We all know what this means. We need to take a break. This. We have a great show coming up a little later. We have. You're going to be very invested in this. We have a football coach is coming up next. Yes.
Abby Spot
Oh, my God.
Hana Einbinder
We have a football coach. We also have a businesswoman or a business person.
Abby Spot
Oh, my God. Two people who make the world go round.
Hana Einbinder
This is exciting. We have a. This is a great episode of Comedy Bang Bang. I'm so happy you're here for it. We're going to be right back with more Hana and Binder. And we have a coach and we have a businesswoman. This is a great show. Stick around. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Are your ulcerative colitis symptoms proving difficult to manage?
Abby Spot
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Hana Einbinder
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Abby Spot
Before treatment, your doctor should check you.
Hana Einbinder
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Abby Spot
Does it ever feel like you're a.
Hana Einbinder
Marketing professional just speaking into the void?
Scott Aukerman
Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers.
Hana Einbinder
You can even target buyers by job.
Scott Aukerman
Title, industry, company seniority, skills.
Hana Einbinder
Wait, did I say job title yet?
Scott Aukerman
Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the.
Hana Einbinder
Right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit.
Abby Spot
On your next campaign.
Hana Einbinder
Get started at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply. Comedy Bang. Bang. We are back, of course. We're here with Hanny Einbinder. EINBINDER, yeah. Of Hax fame hacks is coming out on wet day, April 10th. And you also, you got to be on that Saturday Night Live show introducing the band. Right. Didn't you?
Abby Spot
Did I see you there, gentlemen, Jelly Roll. Yeah, I'm actually not of Hacks fame. I'm of ladies and gentlemen, jelly Roll fame.
Hana Einbinder
Do you ever say that when you go out to breakfast and I'll say.
Abby Spot
It in the mirror late at night?
Hana Einbinder
It's. It's. I don't know if you're a Jelly.
Abby Spot
Roll fan or I wish him well is how I feel.
Hana Einbinder
Yes, that's how I feel, too. It's like, God bless whatever it is you do.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
But you ever wish that you could have gotten someone you really loved or, you know what I'm saying, like, where you. Or do you wish that you got the Weeknd and that way you could have been like Daniel Craig who's like, every Friday, people post him saying, ladies and gentlemen, the Weeknd.
Abby Spot
Wow. Or perhaps, ladies and gentlemen, her.
Hana Einbinder
Her. Yes.
Abby Spot
You know, No, I actually want it to have been Charlie Roll, actually.
Hana Einbinder
It's always funny when someone is introducing a band that they would never like when, when Patrick Stewart was there saying, ladies and gentlemen, salt and pepper was my favorite.
Abby Spot
Yeah, that's a good one.
Hana Einbinder
Something they would never say anyway. That's a wonderful thing.
Abby Spot
It was cute.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, you should host next time.
Abby Spot
You're sweet.
Hana Einbinder
I mean the next episode, whatever the next episode is.
Abby Spot
I'll go, I'll drive there now.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, that's. What is it a five day trip?
Abby Spot
Yeah, whatever. Drive there, go on there, do that. Sure, no problem.
Hana Einbinder
Well, we need to get to our next guest. I mentioned he is a football coach. This is his second appearance. He's in the two Timers club, which means his career is doing slightly better than Hannah's. Let's welcome him back. He was a player for the Dallas Cowboys where he won eight Super Bowls. Please welcome Deion Sanders.
Scott Aukerman
Scott, let me ask you something. Let me tell you something, Scott.
Hana Einbinder
What's up?
Scott Aukerman
Up. I don't know what you came to do, but I came to have some fun. Today's time.
Abby Spot
Okay, great.
Hana Einbinder
I thought you came to find dogs. And.
Scott Aukerman
And I came to do that too. I was going to tell you that I came to clap my hands. I came to st my feet and I came to find some dogs. Cuz I need dogs.
Hana Einbinder
You haven't done any of the three at this point.
Scott Aukerman
I. I see some dogs in. Scott.
Hana Einbinder
Hannah, are you a dog? I mean you were. Did you hear our first segment? Hannah was talking a lot about football.
Scott Aukerman
Scott. I heard a little bit of. I heard a little bit of. So you didn't like saying ladies and gentlemen, jelly roll?
Abby Spot
I did actually. I think was.
Hana Einbinder
It was great.
Abby Spot
Yeah, I kind of liked it.
Scott Aukerman
How would you.
Hana Einbinder
I think you have the exact wrong takeaway.
Scott Aukerman
You know what you should have said?
Abby Spot
What?
Scott Aukerman
Ladies and gentlemen, Shaboozi.
Abby Spot
Oh my God. Wouldn't have that.
Hana Einbinder
Deon Sanders is a big fan of Shabu.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I love Shout Out Shaboozy man. That's my dog.
Abby Spot
Can I tell you actually, and this is serious. Mr. Sanders, I.
Scott Aukerman
Come in, Mrs. Sanders.
Abby Spot
Okay, no problem. And you, you join a long line of Mr. Sanders. Is that. I just frankly love.
Hana Einbinder
Sure. The Colonel.
Abby Spot
So I have to.
Hana Einbinder
Although you would call him Colonel.
Abby Spot
I would probably put Bernie before the Colonel.
Hana Einbinder
But yeah, they're equitable to me.
Abby Spot
Look.
Hana Einbinder
That's similar old guys, white hair.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, they're equatorial to me. White suits, little black ribbon ties.
Abby Spot
Shabuzzi. Actually his first music video when I was in college. A bunch of kids at my film school produced it. And I was the girl in his first music video. You're kidding.
Hana Einbinder
You're in the first Shibuzzi video?
Abby Spot
Yes, and it was.
Hana Einbinder
This is huge news.
Abby Spot
And it was taken down because he illegally sampled something that he didn't have the rights to and so it was taken down. But we saw each other recently at a party and we were like, ah, really?
Hana Einbinder
You saw Shaboozi at a party?
Scott Aukerman
You were the first Shibuzi video vixen.
Abby Spot
That's right.
Scott Aukerman
Wowee. Why did he. Look at him. Look. Won't he do? His guy.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
What did you just say?
Scott Aukerman
I said won't he do it?
Hana Einbinder
Won't he do it? Yes.
Scott Aukerman
I'm talking about Colonel Sanders in the sky.
Hana Einbinder
Of course. You like those seven spices.
Scott Aukerman
Seven. Seven plus seven plus five. No, seven plus four.
Hana Einbinder
Is it 11? Really?
Scott Aukerman
It's 11 original herbs and spices. It's.
Hana Einbinder
It's really. Did it start out as 11 or did he add four at a certain point?
Scott Aukerman
Wait, am I wrong?
Hana Einbinder
I have no idea.
Abby Spot
And can we, while we're at it, discuss how many are in Dr. Pepper? Cuz I know that that's also sort of a 56.
Scott Aukerman
23.
Abby Spot
23.
Hana Einbinder
And that's prunes, right? It starts out.
Abby Spot
Are you serious?
Hana Einbinder
I think it's the only prune soda.
Abby Spot
You're kidding me.
Hana Einbinder
Regular in.
Scott Aukerman
Make sure you eat your prunes.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Hana Einbinder
KFC. How many spices? 11 herbs. 11 maybe. I'm just thinking of the spice number because this is 11 herbs and spices. So I wasn't wrong.
Abby Spot
Sure.
Scott Aukerman
Let's name them in order of importance.
Hana Einbinder
No, they keep them. Salt. It's got to be salt. That's the majority.
Abby Spot
Garlic.
Scott Aukerman
Garlic.
Abby Spot
Paprika.
Scott Aukerman
Paprika. Onion.
Abby Spot
Onion.
Scott Aukerman
Cardamom.
Abby Spot
Cardamom. Cardamom.
Scott Aukerman
Crosby, Stills Nash, Hall Oats.
Hana Einbinder
Dion. I'm sorry, Coach Sanders or Colonel Sanders? Which do you prefer?
Scott Aukerman
Please tell me, Mr. Sanders.
Hana Einbinder
Mr. Sanders, you're. You. Last time you were on, you were talking about you coach a college football team that you're.
Scott Aukerman
Colorado Buffaloes. We coming? Scott, I need dogs.
Hana Einbinder
You do need some dogs. Because you were saying your. Your son is leaving the team.
Scott Aukerman
He leaving the team. He going to the NFL.
Hana Einbinder
He's going to the. Who's he playing for?
Scott Aukerman
We don't know yet.
Abby Spot
Congrats.
Hana Einbinder
Do you hope he plays for the Philadelphia Eagles?
Scott Aukerman
I do not.
Hana Einbinder
Scott, who do you hope he plays for?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, he plays for New Orleans Saints guy. I like that city. New Orleans guy.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, but what about the Dallas Cowboys? Because that's where you made your fame and fortune.
Scott Aukerman
Not necessarily.
Hana Einbinder
Wasn't there some sort of rumor that you were going to go coach at at Dallas?
Scott Aukerman
Scott, there's a lot of rumors. Look at all these rumors surrounding me every day. I just need some time?
Hana Einbinder
I make social clubs first.
Scott Aukerman
Get away sometime. Next social club.
Abby Spot
What do you do for you, Mr. Sanders?
Scott Aukerman
What I do for me? I'll tell you, Anna. I watch a lot of television. And that's what I wanted to talk to Scott about today. Scott.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, okay, great.
Scott Aukerman
You've seen the show Emily in Paris?
Hana Einbinder
Do you mean Emily in Paris?
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, whatever you want to call.
Hana Einbinder
It's supposed to rhyme, I believe.
Scott Aukerman
Emily in Paris. You seen that, Scott?
Hana Einbinder
I. I have to confess, I have not. I'm a big fan of Lily Collins father. Which doesn't. I mean, Hannah, you, of course, Nepo, baby poster child.
Abby Spot
Am I?
Hana Einbinder
I think so.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Hana Einbinder
I mean, your mother worked for Saturday Night Live, you said. Ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll.
Abby Spot
Yeah. That is the. The. The ratio of power, actually, that's like. That is.
Hana Einbinder
That's how much transferred down to you.
Abby Spot
Yeah. Of. Of what? Have my poll.
Hana Einbinder
But Lily Collins, of course, big fan of her father, Phil Goggins. That's Phil Collins daughter, man.
Scott Aukerman
I can feel that in the air tonight. Okay, I did not know that. Scott. Put me on something, man. Timex, Social Club. Look at all this air surrounding me every night. I can feel it.
Hana Einbinder
So you're a big fan of Emily in Par, man.
Scott Aukerman
Come on, Scott. She go over there. She got that damn beret on her head. I was like, girl, what you doing in Paris? Come back over here because I need those.
Hana Einbinder
That's the first scene. Wait, you want her to come back here? Because you need dogs.
Scott Aukerman
Come back to America. Cause I need some dog. And I can see how you wearing that beret in Paris. And you, though, shout out Jelly Roll, man.
Hana Einbinder
I don't even know what it is. She's American and goes over there and then lives there. I mean, how is this the plot to a show?
Scott Aukerman
She American. So she American fashion writer, you know.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
She writes for fashion. You know what she do?
Hana Einbinder
She don't do that. Who knows? It's all speculation.
Scott Aukerman
She do something and they take over the Paris to do it over there.
Hana Einbinder
Like our show. Shows are now hacks. This is a good idea for a show.
Abby Spot
Thank you.
Hana Einbinder
You know a. A standup comedian who. I don't know, go into the details.
Scott Aukerman
Can I. Can I suggest a name change to hacks?
Abby Spot
Let's hear it.
Scott Aukerman
Let's call it Dogs.
Abby Spot
Yes. Honestly, that's a. Gene. Smart suggestion, ladies.
Scott Aukerman
Legitimate. Was a kid. Jelly Roll.
Abby Spot
Couple dogs right there.
Scott Aukerman
That's a good episode right there.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Gene, Spartan, Jelly Roll. I would love the two Js. I love that they should do More stuff. You and Shibuzzi. Jean Smart. Jelly roll. Yeah. This is like a good foursome.
Abby Spot
This is a music festival.
Hana Einbinder
Yes.
Abby Spot
In Tucson.
Hana Einbinder
Yes. This is what south by Southwest needs to evolve into. They're cutting their second weekend, of course. Music out.
Scott Aukerman
They added luggage fees.
Hana Einbinder
Is that so?
Scott Aukerman
Bags don't fly free no more south by Southwest, I tell you that.
Hana Einbinder
Any other shows you're watching? Yes.
Scott Aukerman
God, come on now. You haven't heard his fabulous, fabulous Ms. Maisel. That's a show about comedy, too. Y'all should check that one out.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Hacks is sort of the spiritual successor, right, to the fabulous Mrs. Maisel.
Abby Spot
Oh, certainly. Oh, undoubtedly.
Hana Einbinder
She paved the way. Mrs. Maisel walked. So Brent, what's her name?
Abby Spot
So Deborah.
Hana Einbinder
Deborah Vance could run.
Abby Spot
Could drive a golf cart.
Hana Einbinder
A lot of golf carts in your show. You're right.
Abby Spot
Yeah. Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
There was that episode last season, Golf. Did you get busy? With who? Who was it?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, you get busy on the show?
Abby Spot
I did, yeah. Oh. This season is really.
Hana Einbinder
You have more.
Abby Spot
I have more sexual interactions. It's true. It's true.
Hana Einbinder
I love this.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Who was it the last time?
Abby Spot
It was Christina Hendricks.
Hana Einbinder
Christina Hendricks? That from Mad Men?
Abby Spot
Yeah. This is my last life for sure. I'm not coming back.
Hana Einbinder
Two redheads.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Abby Spot
That's what they say.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Exciting.
Scott Aukerman
Now, was there an intimacy coordinator for that? There was, because I would like to apply for the job.
Hana Einbinder
You can do this on the side, right?
Abby Spot
Intimacy coordinator. By the way, you have as much qualifications as most, to be so frank.
Scott Aukerman
All right, now. Okay. Don't nobody be touching nobody when they don't want to be touched. You got that? You ask for every touch. Is it in the scene? We're gonna do a little improv.
Hana Einbinder
That's what people doing love scenes love to hear.
Scott Aukerman
A little improv.
Abby Spot
Okay, Ropes off, girls.
Scott Aukerman
Rolls off, ladies, let's go. Robes off. Somebody grab that baby hole over there. All right. I don't know. Don't nobody touch nobody when they don't want to be touched. All right, you got that? Okay.
Abby Spot
This is good.
Hana Einbinder
You got action. Really? That's the extent of it.
Scott Aukerman
Go ahead and get it.
Abby Spot
The director's like, can we get him? Can we.
Hana Einbinder
Sorry, can I say action? I mean, this is a good job. Do you only want to do it for Christina Hendricks and Hannah here?
Scott Aukerman
Don't make me a creep. I'm gonna do it for a lot of people, man. Emily in Paris.
Abby Spot
Whenever he's needed, he'll be there.
Hana Einbinder
That's right. We'll just shine the Dion Sanders signal just in the shape of a dog and a dog.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, somebody needs some instant music coordination.
Hana Einbinder
This needs to turn into a cartoon. What other TV shows you been watching?
Scott Aukerman
Oh, man, that fabulous Miss Maily in Paris. You watch that show the Pit?
Hana Einbinder
I have not seen the Pit. I thought it was about Brad Pitt for a while.
Scott Aukerman
I thought it was about those.
Hana Einbinder
So we. We were both wrong, though. It turns out it's Noah Wiley in the. In what? From what I'm hearing from the lawsuits, was originally intended to be an ER reboot.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
And then segued into nothing to do with ER at all once they couldn't get the rights.
Scott Aukerman
It's about a hospital, man. Them doctors is dogs in there. They. They healing people, Scott. Cuz today, in today's world, we need healing.
Hana Einbinder
Yes.
Scott Aukerman
We need hospitals.
Hana Einbinder
Yes.
Abby Spot
So true.
Scott Aukerman
Scott, do you believe in universal healthcare?
Hana Einbinder
I. I don't know that my views on it would be earth shattering at all. So why don't we just ask your.
Scott Aukerman
I believe in universal healthcare, international healthcare, intergalactic health care.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Intergalactic.
Scott Aukerman
You see these people come back from Earth.
Abby Spot
Yeah. I mean, come back.
Scott Aukerman
Come back to Earth.
Hana Einbinder
Yes. Like the people. The people trapped up in the NASA space station.
Scott Aukerman
They finally home.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Bring our dogs home.
Hana Einbinder
There are their. Their muscles. Their muscle tone is withered.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
They're emaciated.
Scott Aukerman
We'll put them on a meal plan. Get them back. Get them back. Right, Right.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
They be ready for next season.
Hana Einbinder
Part of universal intergalactic healthcare to you. What were you saying?
Abby Spot
Huh?
Deion Sanders
Well.
Abby Spot
Oh, just. Thank you. Scat. Well, they. I was just saying that they may be puppies now, but when we're through.
Scott Aukerman
They gonna be those.
Abby Spot
That's right.
Scott Aukerman
You already know what I'm talking about. I like you.
Hana Einbinder
Are you trying to get into acting? I mean, you. Dion. Who? I'm not talking. Hannah's already there.
Scott Aukerman
I done been to some stuff.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah?
Scott Aukerman
Where were you at on an episode of Living Single?
Hana Einbinder
Playing yourself.
Scott Aukerman
Playing myself.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, that doesn't count. Playing yourself doesn't count.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, I was a heightened version of myself.
Hana Einbinder
I like her. Your enthusiasm. What else? Have you ever played a character?
Scott Aukerman
Me?
Hana Einbinder
I am talking to you right now.
Scott Aukerman
I play my. I play me.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, you played you. Okay.
Scott Aukerman
Tell me if you consider me a character.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
I think it's hard when you have a body like yours and you're so tall and so big. You know, it was. It was the problem the Rock had for a long time, you know, and the problem Kumail has now.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Too sexy.
Hana Einbinder
Too sexy.
Scott Aukerman
Too Damn sexy for television.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, that's the thing. You can't play like a normal schlub, you know, like Hannah over here. She's playing, like, a comedy writer who can't get work, you know?
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
I can't imagine Dion Sanders here, you know, of course, believing that from you, because I would just say, oh, just go play football.
Scott Aukerman
You know what? I could play a comedy right on television for sure. Let's improvise the scene as comedy writers.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, great.
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
Abby Spot
Hey, did you. Did you get the rewrites for. For the monologue?
Scott Aukerman
I got the rewrites.
Abby Spot
Oh, okay.
Scott Aukerman
All right. I got the rewrites, but what I need to know is what we having for lunch today?
Abby Spot
Oh, we. Yeah, I think.
Scott Aukerman
I don't want no more salad.
Abby Spot
Okay. Well, I was gonna say I think it's sweet green, but I. Again, yeah, I just. We. We have a deadline, so I was just wondering if you. You.
Hana Einbinder
We.
Scott Aukerman
Always eating sweet green.
Abby Spot
Me? Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
I want barbecue.
Abby Spot
We. We could. I. I mean, I guess we could look into that, but I. I just. Yeah, I think maybe. Do. Do you know if there's going to be a chance for you to look at. At the. At the rewrites or.
Scott Aukerman
I got them. They on my desk.
Abby Spot
Oh, okay, great.
Scott Aukerman
But I wasn't. Barbecue.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, I. I'm just gonna stop it right here. First of all, sub in Al Wazir. And this is exactly Mr. Show. Every single. Dion, you're in a position of power, it seems, over Hannah's character.
Scott Aukerman
No, she's my boss.
Abby Spot
I think he's an eccentric employee, and.
Hana Einbinder
I see. But why do you need him to check the rewrites then, if you're.
Abby Spot
Because I assign them to him.
Hana Einbinder
For him to check them or for him to. What is he doing with these rewrites?
Abby Spot
Yeah, he's sort of punching them up.
Hana Einbinder
Punching them up.
Scott Aukerman
You got to continue to see. He's got to say, hey, action.
Hana Einbinder
Other. Okay, action.
Abby Spot
Okay. Did you get a chance to punch up the rewrites that I sent you?
Scott Aukerman
Hey, what are you Christina Hendrick doing tonight?
Hana Einbinder
All right, cut, cut, cut. Okay. I don't. I don't know. It is pretty much like being in a writer's room, to be honest. That. That's accuracy.
Abby Spot
We got sweet green. We got harassment. We got somebody doing their job. Wrong.
Hana Einbinder
99. Accuracy.
Scott Aukerman
I haven't gotten to the rewrites yet. I want to talk about the rewrites.
Hana Einbinder
Okay. You want to talk about the rewrites? Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. All right.
Abby Spot
Okay. So, yeah, for the monologue, I Was thinking that perhaps we went in a different direction, away from talking about, you know, the story with the Swiss banks, just because I think that a lot of people are going to be covering that. So I was just wondering if you had anything. Anything there, or maybe perhaps a pitch on a different. Different topic that could be kind of more international.
Scott Aukerman
Absolutely.
Abby Spot
Yeah. Okay.
Scott Aukerman
I do have that. More international.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
International health care. Oh, I want to talk about that.
Abby Spot
Okay. Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Swiss banks is in Switzerland.
Abby Spot
Right.
Scott Aukerman
Interpol is in Sweden.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
Okay. You picking up what I'm putting down?
Abby Spot
I'll take your word for it.
Scott Aukerman
All right. Is the barbecue almost here yet?
Hana Einbinder
Excuse me. I. I hate to interrupt, but the show goes live in 30 seconds. Do we. Do we have the rewrites or, you know, we need to switch it to the international. You know, do we have any of this?
Abby Spot
Oh, we.
Hana Einbinder
By the way, I'm just a pa. Oh, okay.
Abby Spot
I. I do. We do. We do.
Hana Einbinder
Who's in charge here? I can't quite figure it out.
Scott Aukerman
How can you not tell who is in charge? Clearly, this woman is my boss.
Hana Einbinder
You seem subservient to him. Yeah, but maybe it's just your tone.
Abby Spot
Yeah, I don't know. I.
Hana Einbinder
Well, you know, tell him you my boss.
Scott Aukerman
Tell them you my boss.
Abby Spot
Okay, well, I. I'm. I'm speaking up. Sorry. I'm his. We collaborate. I'm his.
Hana Einbinder
You collaborate.
Abby Spot
Yeah, well, I just. I'm.
Hana Einbinder
Are you in a position of power here?
Scott Aukerman
Is Christina Hendrick coming to the show tonight?
Abby Spot
I'm really scared, and I feel like we're going to be live soon. We're on.
Hana Einbinder
We're on.
Scott Aukerman
Ladies and gentlemen, Shaboos.
Hana Einbinder
Great scene. Wow. Okay. Yeah, I think this is good.
Scott Aukerman
I think it's great.
Abby Spot
Can you guys.
Hana Einbinder
I think Dion could be on Hacks.
Abby Spot
A hundred percent.
Scott Aukerman
Just playing a normal comedy writer who's.
Hana Einbinder
Very concerned with eating barbecue. Like all comedy writers, you got to have good lunch. All right, well, let's get Dion on Hacks. We need to start a hashtag. Dion on Hacks. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we have a business person. This is very exciting. Dion, you can you stick around?
Scott Aukerman
I've got. I got to go.
Hana Einbinder
You gotta. No, come on. Stick around. All right, we're gonna become. Right back, we'll have more Hannah Einbinder, more Deion Sanders, and a businesswoman. We'll be right back with more comedy. Bang, Bang. After this. Hi, this is Steve Buscemi. You know, the actor. Well, now I'm an actor. And podc. From Piece of Work Entertainment and Campside Media in association with Olive Productions comes Big Time, an Apple Original Podcast. Each episode follows the story of one misfit with big dreams who isn't afraid to bend a few rules or take a shortcut to get there. Well, who steals bees?
Abby Spot
I was duped. I shoot you in the leg.
Hana Einbinder
This is Big Time. Follow and listen on Apple Podcasts.
Abby Spot
Netcredit is here to say yes to.
Scott Aukerman
A personal loan or line of credit.
Hana Einbinder
When other lenders say no, apply in.
Abby Spot
Minutes and get a decision as soon.
Hana Einbinder
As the same day. If approved applications are typically funded the next business day or sooner. Loans offered by NetCredit or lending partner banks and serviced by NetCredit. Applications subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners.
Abby Spot
NetCredit Credit to the people.
Hana Einbinder
Auto insurance can all seem the same.
Scott Aukerman
Until it comes time to use it. So don't get stuck paying more for less coverage. Switch to USAA Auto Insur and you could start saving money in no time. Get a quote today, restrictions apply.
Hana Einbinder
Comedy Bang bang. We're back. We have Hannah Einbinder here of hacks and which of course I get a Google alert every day I for hacks because I'm wondering if I'm popping up on the latest list of Hollywood hacks.
Abby Spot
Oh my God.
Hana Einbinder
But it starts the fourth season on Wet Day and which is a Thursday this year. What day falls on a Thursday?
Abby Spot
Shoot. Damn it.
Hana Einbinder
What's. What's going on in your head? You're gonna be too wet on Friday. You're like drying off.
Abby Spot
You just like to be wet on a weekend is all.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, that's a good point.
Abby Spot
You'd like to, if you were being. To be wet, you'd like for it to be on the weekends.
Hana Einbinder
Those holidays that fall. On the weekends though, then it feels like you're getting ripped off because you know, like when fourth of July is on a weekend, you're like, I really would rather this be on Monday or Friday. So I get a three day weekend.
Abby Spot
Yeah, but I, I mean, has Wet Day broken through in that way? It's.
Hana Einbinder
It's not officially recognized, but it's storming the nation. Pun intended. We also have Deion Sanders here who.
Scott Aukerman
Ladies and gentlemen, Wet on the Weekend.
Hana Einbinder
We need to get to our next guest. This is exciting. They're joining the incredible One Timers club. Please welcome to the show. They're a businesswoman. Please welcome Abby Spot.
Deion Sanders
Hi.
Abby Spot
Wow.
Deion Sanders
I'm, I, I don't normally. I don't normally do this kind of thing. But I'm. I'm so happy. I'm really happy to be here. I feel.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, sure.
Deion Sanders
Just like an immediate connection with you, Mr. Sanders.
Hana Einbinder
Oh.
Scott Aukerman
All right.
Deion Sanders
Now I am just really picking up what you're putting down.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, okay. Well, it's great to have you.
Deion Sanders
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
When you say you don't normally do this kind of thing, what do you. What do you mean?
Deion Sanders
So I'm. I'm a psych. But.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, but I'm sorry. I thought you were a businesswoman.
Deion Sanders
Well, I'm looking for clients.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, okay.
Deion Sanders
So I'm really here to promote my business.
Hana Einbinder
An unsuccessful businesswoman?
Deion Sanders
No, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that.
Hana Einbinder
Do you currently have clients?
Deion Sanders
Not one client, but I'm. I'm looking for clients.
Hana Einbinder
You're a future businesswoman.
Deion Sanders
I'm a future.
Hana Einbinder
Listen, I have an llc.
Deion Sanders
No, I don't have an llc. Here's the thing with me. I'm so uncomfortable in this cheat chair.
Hana Einbinder
You're uncomfortable in chair?
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
I'm so uncomfortable in this chair. I wish that I could, like, I don't know, be under the table or around your feet, because I guess it's now. Let me just tell you, I am. I'm a little unusual just because for the past 11 lives, I've been a dog. And this is my first year.
Scott Aukerman
I need that.
Deion Sanders
This is my first life as a human.
Hana Einbinder
As a human. Oh, my gosh. Congratulations.
Deion Sanders
So I'm mostly a pet psychic, but I can also read people too, but I just. It's different.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
Things are different.
Hana Einbinder
Do you. Do you remember or recall being a dog?
Deion Sanders
Honestly, that's mostly what I remember.
Hana Einbinder
Really?
Deion Sanders
Yeah, I'm. I'm having a little bit of trouble transitioning as well. Human.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. What kind of dog were you in your past 11, you say?
Deion Sanders
Uhhuh.
Hana Einbinder
Why? Oh, that's the number of herbs and spices that KFC has.
Deion Sanders
Oh, my gosh. I've had taste of that.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, really?
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
That's a lucky dog.
Deion Sanders
A lucky dog or a clumsy owner? I just was so attached to this idea of intimacy coordinator.
Hana Einbinder
So was Dion.
Deion Sanders
You guys are so bonkers up here. I mean, like, up on this level. Because I'm telling you, the asshole is really where all the data is.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, that's where. I mean, also the pee, from what I understand, like, because dogs, when they go on the walks, they smell other dogs pee.
Deion Sanders
Absolutely.
Hana Einbinder
To learn information about them. It's sort of like the. The gossip magazine. It's like TMZ for dogs 100 and.
Deion Sanders
So it's really uncomfortable when everybody closes the door.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
Because I feel like I'm just missing so much. I don't really know how to, like, I'm. I'm. You know, this is not about me as a human. You know, I want to read. I want to give you guys all reading and really, like, get to know you, but I.
Hana Einbinder
To be honest, the psychic part of it is interesting. You could read us or whatever. I'm fascinated by learning what it's like to be a dog.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
Oh, I need to mean, oh, yeah.
Scott Aukerman
You a human now, so therefore, you are useless to me.
Deion Sanders
What kind of dogs are you talking about?
Scott Aukerman
Dogs, man.
Hana Einbinder
So what?
Deion Sanders
So this guy was a dog in my life.
Hana Einbinder
I know. You have to be, Dion.
Scott Aukerman
I mean, come on now.
Abby Spot
This life, too, it's still in me.
Hana Einbinder
But. But the. The rules, the human rules of consent and all that, that dogs don't have, that they just take what they want.
Deion Sanders
Now are, like, eating at. We've been doing. We've been eating ass for years. We mentioned it. I don't know. It's like, I'm not. I'm not impressed. But. But I am a little uncomfortable with so much arm skin and leg skin. It's like, put on a coat.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, yeah.
Abby Spot
You're cold.
Deion Sanders
I put on a coat, it's cold. It's just like. It feels a little vulgar.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. But is that the main difference is the amount of arm skin?
Deion Sanders
Well, leg, too.
Hana Einbinder
Leg too. Yeah. I mean, sure. Yeah. I mean, that's the other thing. You have arms now.
Deion Sanders
I do have arms. Arms. I do have arms.
Hana Einbinder
Instead of four legs. What is that like?
Deion Sanders
It's club. You know, A little clumsy. But listen, I'm not. Sorry if I'm coming off crazier. Like, I'm not a dog. I'm a woman. Yeah, obviously. Like, I was. I was reincarnated as a human.
Hana Einbinder
Sure. Yeah. How old of a woman are you currently?
Deion Sanders
Well, I'm 30, but I feel like 200.
Hana Einbinder
You feel four. Probably four and a half because it's seven years. Dog years.
Deion Sanders
I've been around. Listen, I don't do math.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
I'm more of an instinctual.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
I gravitate.
Hana Einbinder
Dogs don't do math. Right. Like, they just all of everything. Right. It's not like, oh, there's two chicken breasts. No, I want. I want all of them.
Abby Spot
Infinite.
Scott Aukerman
No, I teach my dog portion control.
Abby Spot
Is that so. How do you do that? How do you. You just kind of let them know.
Scott Aukerman
That'S all you're getting. Be Satisfied?
Hana Einbinder
So you're determining the portions. You're not just putting out a large tin of something in there. They're deciding how much they eat. That's not really teaching them anything.
Abby Spot
Now, in terms of just because, you know, I. There was a business proposal brought up.
Deion Sanders
Thank you.
Abby Spot
Investing. Yeah.
Deion Sanders
My God.
Abby Spot
I'm curious.
Hana Einbinder
I also have my business proposal, which you did not choose to invest in my. My different league for football.
Deion Sanders
Hannah seems pretty interested in my idea.
Abby Spot
I don't remember, but I.
Hana Einbinder
They could spot merely 40 minutes ago.
Abby Spot
Yeah, it's tough for me. Scott, do you have cats when you live in the moment?
Hana Einbinder
I do not have cats. Don't worry.
Deion Sanders
I'm getting a cat vibe from you.
Hana Einbinder
Maybe I was a cat in a different life. I mean, people worshiped cats back in ancient Egypt.
Abby Spot
Tracks.
Deion Sanders
Okay, well, they had dogs sleep in their bed.
Hana Einbinder
I don't know whether. Dion. Do you have previous lives? I, I, I've never really investigated.
Scott Aukerman
You know what? I ain't investigated either. I mind the business that pays me. So I don't know what I was doing back. Back then, but I hope it was good.
Deion Sanders
Oh, I can tell it was good.
Hana Einbinder
What are you seeing with Dion?
Deion Sanders
Oh, my God. I'm seeing a king.
Scott Aukerman
Read me.
Deion Sanders
Read me some sort of. I'm seeing some sort of big, big tree. I'm seeing a kid.
Hana Einbinder
Wait, he was a tree or he.
Deion Sanders
I'm seeing he peed on a tree.
Hana Einbinder
Oh. Oh, it's a dog.
Deion Sanders
A big tree.
Hana Einbinder
That's cool.
Deion Sanders
I'm seeing a lot of fancy collars. I'm seeing a lot of bling.
Scott Aukerman
Was I a Rockwell Wilder? Please tell me I was a Rock Wilder.
Deion Sanders
I think you were. I think you're confusing the record label.
Scott Aukerman
Please tell me I was a Rockefeller.
Hana Einbinder
Roc Nation.
Deion Sanders
I know. I don't feel like I'm being a little vulgar, and I'm not trying to be, but I'm having a hard time dating.
Abby Spot
Right.
Hana Einbinder
I don't think that's vulgar at all, actually. You didn't say a curse word.
Deion Sanders
I don't know if that's disgusting or not. Listen, I. What is your dog? Nobody just comes out and shows you their red rocket. And so I don't know who's interested.
Hana Einbinder
You're always a female dog.
Deion Sanders
My last. My last two.
Hana Einbinder
Your last two. Oh, so your, Your previous nine. You have the red rocket.
Deion Sanders
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Deion Sanders
Easy to show, easy to receive. Easy to. Easy to. To know.
Hana Einbinder
Right? Yeah, it's, It's. I mean, honestly, it's hard. I think that's the other thing. If people acted more like dogs, dating would be easier.
Deion Sanders
That's how I feel.
Hana Einbinder
Feel.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
And that's why I think my perspective on, on, on your lives could help so much. I think a dog. Oh, I changed my business. I changed my business.
Hana Einbinder
You change your. Wait, this is unprecedented. You're changing your business in the middle of your segment.
Deion Sanders
I think this is where I would shine. I want to be a dog dating advice service.
Hana Einbinder
Dog dating advice service. So you're giving advice to, to humans who want to date dogs?
Deion Sanders
No, the way.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, I've got this completely wrong.
Deion Sanders
The way that dog. I use my knowledge of being a dog to help you guys date.
Hana Einbinder
Ah, so you're giving advice to humans who want to date other humans, but.
Abby Spot
Do it with the philosophy, with the.
Deion Sanders
Philosophy of a dog.
Hana Einbinder
Love this. All right, so, Hannah, are you out there in these streets?
Abby Spot
I'm single. I'm single.
Hana Einbinder
You're single?
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
All right, so this is perfect.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
So now we know. You were a plant, you were a dog, you were a cat.
Abby Spot
You.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, so that answer sounded like Scott, you about to get her in trouble.
Abby Spot
I'm single, but there's certainly a woman I'll be getting an angry phone call from after she hears this.
Deion Sanders
So this is good. This is really good.
Hana Einbinder
So what, what kind of advice would you give to Hannah, who's out there in these streets night after night.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Searching for someone, anyone, to love her.
Abby Spot
Lay it on thick, will ya?
Deion Sanders
Okay, so first off, we gotta start sniffing at each other.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Hana Einbinder
Do you do that, Hannah, when you're out there?
Abby Spot
Oh, sense memory is very important.
Deion Sanders
Sense memory?
Abby Spot
Yeah. Well, the nose is a direct ch to the brain, of course.
Hana Einbinder
So occasionally you'll smell an aroma that will take you back decades, even to something that happened to you as a young child.
Abby Spot
Absolutely.
Scott Aukerman
And the heart is a direct channel to the stomach.
Hana Einbinder
And the eyes are a window to the soul.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
And the tongue stuff, you lick us up with it.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
So the first thing would be to smell.
Deion Sanders
So first thing to smell.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Deion Sanders
Then I would go up. I, I, I think for most people it's all about the acid.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Deion Sanders
That's where the data is. We've talked about that.
Hana Einbinder
Is this first date, though? I mean, I know it is for dogs, but.
Deion Sanders
Okay.
Abby Spot
Is this first date behavior?
Deion Sanders
First date? This is first date alone, obviously.
Abby Spot
Can the asshole be symbolic? Is there a way to kind of explore that in a way that isn't as direct? You know what I mean? Like, is there, is there a way.
Deion Sanders
The mouth. I guess you could, I Guess exactly.
Abby Spot
Sort of a reverse.
Hana Einbinder
So I guess sometimes you breasting a whole ass we call oh a.
Abby Spot
It is. Can I just really quickly break in to say you're telling me we have a big hole in our head and we put food in it.
Hana Einbinder
It's crazy when you think about it.
Abby Spot
Don't. Like. That's really crazy.
Hana Einbinder
And shouldn't it come out the same hole, like just for like, not sanity, sanitary purposes? You know what I mean? I mean that's got to go all the way down through our body and travel around and then go out a different hole.
Abby Spot
It's. That's just you telling me we putting Doritos in the face hole. And in what way was that ever the plan for us?
Hana Einbinder
I know.
Scott Aukerman
It's driving me crazy and I'm really trying to keep my sanitary.
Hana Einbinder
So.
Deion Sanders
You guys are so consumed with that though.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
I don't think you should be as concerned about that. Don't give a. About what they're putting in their mouth.
Abby Spot
They eat, we'll throw up and we'll.
Deion Sanders
Eat it right back up.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, dogs.
Deion Sanders
But also babies too.
Hana Einbinder
Do you think Shaboozi does that?
Scott Aukerman
Shaboozi don't do that, man. There's no way Shaboozi keep their mouth clean.
Deion Sanders
I gotta know what you did in that music video.
Hana Einbinder
Were you rolling around on a car or.
Abby Spot
You know what? He was in a fun 70s production. Designed school bus. And he was a rock star. And I was a journalist.
Deion Sanders
A journalist.
Hana Einbinder
Did you ever like, take off your glasses and shake your hair out?
Abby Spot
And I was. Was like putting the mic towards him and writing stuff down, but I was being like, hot about it.
Hana Einbinder
Wow. Yeah.
Abby Spot
And he was like, I'm Robert Plant. I gotta check this out. I'm writing about you.
Hana Einbinder
This is incredible. And you saw him at a party and remembered you. I love this.
Abby Spot
I couldn't believe it. I said, do you remember me? Of course I remember you.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, I love this for Shabbosuzu.
Abby Spot
Gave me a big hug. He's so wonderful.
Scott Aukerman
Shout out, Shabzi man.
Abby Spot
Shout out.
Scott Aukerman
I've been trying to tell you.
Hana Einbinder
You were trying to tell me on the last episode. Shout out. Shab. I wouldn't listen.
Scott Aukerman
You still didn't listen.
Deion Sanders
And this is a musician.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Abby Spot
Yes.
Scott Aukerman
How do y'all not know who Shabuzi is, man?
Hana Einbinder
I mean, I know who Shabuzi is.
Abby Spot
I just didn't listen.
Scott Aukerman
Music Zero time. Grammy award winning Shabozi.
Hana Einbinder
That's right. You were on right before the Grammys. The last or the day after the Grammys last time, you thought he was going to sweep? Yeah, the episode came out.
Scott Aukerman
The episode came out. It was a. We recorded a month before the Grammys. I.
Hana Einbinder
You were predicting a sweep. He ended up with zero.
Deion Sanders
What did Shaboozy smell like? Do you smell good?
Abby Spot
Opportunity, Possibility.
Hana Einbinder
Yes.
Abby Spot
You know what I mean.
Hana Einbinder
The future.
Deion Sanders
Yeah. Hope, success.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
See, I just don't know that society is going to allow us to go out on first dates and immediately take our pants down and smell each other's assholes.
Deion Sanders
I hear you. That's why I changed it to mouth and kiss.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, So I don't listen.
Deion Sanders
I'm flexible.
Hana Einbinder
I'm gonna amend this. I don't know that society these days will even allow you to just kiss a person that you're on a date with without their consent right away.
Deion Sanders
Oh, my God. Dogs just read consent.
Hana Einbinder
I know. That's the thing.
Deion Sanders
Feel it. All the talky, talky, talky.
Abby Spot
Tricky.
Hana Einbinder
See, I think dogs give implied consent all the time. You know, it's like tacit consent. And I think humans would be better off if we just consented to. To let whoever do whatever they want to do.
Abby Spot
A little less Dorito in the face hole. A little more pheromones communicating.
Hana Einbinder
Thank you. Thank you.
Scott Aukerman
Exactly.
Abby Spot
Wow.
Deion Sanders
You guys have helped me really streamline this business.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
I don't know that it's streamlined necessarily, is just.
Deion Sanders
We are on fire.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
I don't know about you guys.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
This is really, really working for me. And I'm excited. I'm ignorant.
Hana Einbinder
I love this. So do you need to change your website? Hannah's father could probably. I would love to get his name.
Abby Spot
Use mine. I'm not using it.
Deion Sanders
That would be great.
Hana Einbinder
I'm really not Finder and Abby. Spot dot com.
Deion Sanders
Well, that's not that it's gonna be C spot. Well, it was gonna be C spot Tell, you know, because it's like, I'm telling people.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
So now I'm just like, C spot date.
Hana Einbinder
C spot date. Although I think. I think that I would feel like that's an only fan site if I were.
Deion Sanders
But that would get a lot of traffic.
Hana Einbinder
That's true.
Deion Sanders
Also, I'm not opposed to putting up my feet a picture.
Hana Einbinder
Do you mind check out your feet?
Deion Sanders
Oh, God, of course.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Yeah.
Deion Sanders
See this? People are so sensitive.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Do you have a rating on Wiki Feet or Hannah, do you have a rating on Wiki Feet?
Abby Spot
I. I'm sure I do.
Scott Aukerman
Pull them out. I need to see them dogs.
Deion Sanders
Do you? That's what I'm saying. Let's get these dogs out. Let's show some more.
Hana Einbinder
You have a listing dog.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Hana Einbinder
Your rating before you say it. Yeah.
Abby Spot
I'm going to go ahead and self eval. Is it one to ten?
Hana Einbinder
One to. To five?
Abby Spot
One to five. Yeah. Okay. So for me, like I do. I. I don't think that I have like extraordinary feet by any means. So. So for me, I'm in this.
Hana Einbinder
I cannot even think of an instance where I've even seen like the shadow of your feet or anything like that. Like, like in terms of your work.
Abby Spot
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you done much like I'm clavicle up typically.
Scott Aukerman
That's what scene, that scene where your shadow was against the wall and you were putting on a stock.
Abby Spot
I'm sort of peeling my pantyhose. Yeah, yeah.
Hana Einbinder
But I will say most of the pictures, most of the pictures on your site are wikiped on wikifeet. Are you at events or on talk shows?
Abby Spot
An open toed heel presume.
Hana Einbinder
Open toed heel on the Jimmy Kimmel show does that.
Abby Spot
That. Did you see something was about to cough?
Hana Einbinder
No.
Abby Spot
Open to.
Hana Einbinder
And. But there are some candid photos it seems. I hope they're candid.
Abby Spot
I hope not.
Hana Einbinder
Professional photos.
Abby Spot
I'm going to go ahead and clock myself in at three.
Scott Aukerman
Whoa.
Abby Spot
Hey.
Deion Sanders
Don't take this into your dating life.
Hana Einbinder
Would it surprise you? Shoe size nine by the way. Is that accurate?
Abby Spot
Eight.
Deion Sanders
Oh my God.
Hana Einbinder
Okay, we need to amend wiki feet. Would it surprise you to learn you have a four star rating?
Abby Spot
Wow. See, it would.
Hana Einbinder
And it says parentheses. Nice feet.
Abby Spot
Really?
Hana Einbinder
Yes. God.
Abby Spot
Then I guess I don't know the metrics that they're using.
Hana Einbinder
By the way, There are about 6 comments on your page.
Abby Spot
Let's hear them.
Hana Einbinder
User comments. I like what I see. Cute feet on a cute lady.
Deion Sanders
Okay, that's a dog person.
Abby Spot
Wholesome.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Gorgeous long toe toes.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Deion Sanders
That's a cat person.
Hana Einbinder
Very sexy.
Abby Spot
I'm scared.
Deion Sanders
Okay, that's.
Hana Einbinder
Okay. Here's a little bit of a criticism.
Abby Spot
Okay.
Hana Einbinder
Not much but there.
Abby Spot
Well, hang on, hang on. Do I have long toes or don't I?
Hana Einbinder
I don't know.
Abby Spot
What do you mean? Not.
Hana Einbinder
I'm not ascertaining. I. I'm not here to judge.
Deion Sanders
I think they're talking about the amount of pictures.
Abby Spot
Okay. Okay.
Deion Sanders
I think you just want more.
Hana Einbinder
Wow. I'm crazy about her toes and the polished color. Looks great against her pale skin.
Abby Spot
Okay, okay. Started horrible. Went to it. Went to. Went Allyship.
Deion Sanders
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Toes legit.
Abby Spot
Absolutely. And I think that could be said for everyone here.
Deion Sanders
And you know what? We should be leading with our toes.
Scott Aukerman
More, ladies and gentlemen.
Hana Einbinder
This. Damn. She's so hot. I wish there was more of her.
Abby Spot
Okay, like, more of your body or.
Deion Sanders
More of your feet?
Abby Spot
I'll tell you the most horrific comment I've ever gotten on. On a post of mine. And. And it's the cleanest word choice, but it's so upsetting. Are you ready?
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Abby Spot
Love her wide fat.
Hana Einbinder
You can't even say it.
Abby Spot
Okay, here it is. Love her wide fat. Beefy pooper.
Hana Einbinder
Jesus Christ.
Abby Spot
It shows in every episode, which is great.
Deion Sanders
Understand. What's wrong with that?
Hana Einbinder
That. Not to a dog.
Scott Aukerman
What?
Deion Sanders
This is like, the biggest compliment you.
Hana Einbinder
Could get for a dog. That's a rave.
Deion Sanders
It's a. That is. That is some high regards. I don't think you should think anything.
Abby Spot
Other than someone commented on a bunch of my stuff and I just copy and paste.
Hana Einbinder
I hear that. Saying this on this podcast is going to lead our fans to comment it endlessly. No.
Abby Spot
Oh, my God, you guys.
Hana Einbinder
Please don't. She does. She doesn't like this.
Scott Aukerman
I insanely.
Hana Einbinder
I do like the Wikifeet links to your IMDb page.
Abby Spot
Totally. Oh, and it lists my 1:1 credit.
Hana Einbinder
But fewer credits than I expected.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
I have to say.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Doing my.
Abby Spot
That's why I was like, career. You mean I've been on one show.
Hana Einbinder
Done three of these episodes.
Abby Spot
Sure.
Hana Einbinder
I hope to see that reflected in your Wikipedia. That's right Page. Abby, I'm glad that we have helped you out.
Abby Spot
Wow.
Hana Einbinder
I feel like this.
Deion Sanders
I feel like I won this round.
Hana Einbinder
You won the episode.
Deion Sanders
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. This is. We saw the game show element of this, too.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Deion Sanders
People love to compete.
Abby Spot
Say that stuff.
Hana Einbinder
Do you think if. If football. And this is for you, Hannah, if football didn't have points, would it still be as exciting? No, the points are key. Right.
Abby Spot
You have to have the points because you have to win. And it's about.
Hana Einbinder
But what if they ran up and down the field and did all the things they're doing and kicked it through the thing and all that, and everyone just was like, good job.
Abby Spot
Yeah. That's interpretive dance.
Deion Sanders
That's a game of catch to me, and I'm here for that.
Abby Spot
That's. That's sports.
Hana Einbinder
All right, well, we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show that's a little something called Plugs.
Scott Aukerman
I really, really, really, really want to hear it.
Hana Einbinder
Please. Ooh nice and short. That was. Plugs please by Levi Sains. Thank you to Levi Sains. If you have a Plugs theme, head over to cbb world.com plugs and upload it and you can be famous for a week. And Levi Sanes, you are famous this week and this week only. Prepare for the inevitable crashdown of your fame plummeting in about seven days time. Hannah, what are we plugging here? Your Wikipedia says not much other than hats.
Abby Spot
That right? That's right.
Hana Einbinder
Scott, you had your, your. Your standup special which came out last year.
Abby Spot
Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
That people can still access.
Abby Spot
Let's check that out. Everything must go. Only streaming now on max, which is also where my show is. That's the corporation that owns me.
Hana Einbinder
You are just knee deep in the Max business.
Abby Spot
Oh, yeah, baby.
Hana Einbinder
Are you like Max royalty? Like when you show up out there in Santa Monica or wherever their offices are, do they just like all the doors open for are you.
Abby Spot
I'm something of a maxinista. I'd say that's fair to say. Yeah, I. We got hacks coming out. And when does this air? This episode?
Hana Einbinder
Who knows? But I will say that wet day is the day that everyone will be celebrating.
Abby Spot
April 10th, folks. April 10th.
Hana Einbinder
April 10th.
Abby Spot
And remember, we need exponential growth. Right? This is an era of tech and Wall street influence in Hollywood. So.
Hana Einbinder
And if you don't have growth in your business, that means you're doing hor. You can't just make money for everyone. You need to grow.
Abby Spot
You need to grow every quarter. So if you want me to keep, you know, sort of living, frankly, you gotta tune in, folks. You gotta tune in.
Hana Einbinder
How many seasons do you want to do? I. I think we talked about this last episode, but I would like as many as you guys are still alive, just every year, just make a new season and we just like, you know, and. And the later seasons can be boring, you know, Like, I'm sure, you know, not. There's not gonna be all this drama with like, oh, she's got a big show now. Like, eventually it's all gonna peter out, but I still would love to just hang out with you guys.
Abby Spot
Well, you're sweet. And I, I too would love know. Our hope is five. Our hope is five.
Hana Einbinder
Your hope is five. So you don't know yet?
Abby Spot
We don't know yet.
Hana Einbinder
You guys win all these awards every year.
Abby Spot
Look, you know, including you.
Hana Einbinder
A critics Choice award.
Abby Spot
Hey, come on now.
Hana Einbinder
The critics chose you to win an award.
Abby Spot
They chose me to win. And they, you know, and I choose and I. And you have to choose yourself every day. And that's what really matters.
Hana Einbinder
I believe they chose you to win supporting actress. When I view you as a co. Lead.
Abby Spot
Well, you're so. You're nice as. In addition to being sweet. Thank you.
Hana Einbinder
But Hacks is out. We need to watch it on Wet Day. We need to. And it. And it's comes out every week, too. It's not like all put up at the same time.
Abby Spot
It's one episode a week.
Hana Einbinder
One episode a week. So here's what I would do. I would watch the first one on April 10th. I would probably pace around my house wondering what's going to happen for the next six days. And then seven days later, I watched number two. Repeat.
Abby Spot
Repeat that ten times.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, ten times.
Abby Spot
Ten times. Repeat that.
Hana Einbinder
We're going all the way to June.
Abby Spot
Is that June?
Hana Einbinder
Is that how long this is running? This is going to be a great.
Abby Spot
I think it'll be. I think, yeah. April.
Hana Einbinder
All of May.
Abby Spot
A lot of May. Right. I mean, look, and I, I'm with Abby. I don't do math. So that's. That's your department. But look, I'll just have to keep working so that I can keep coming back on Comedy Bang.
Hana Einbinder
I hope so, because if Max, you know, in half, which by the way, they rhyme. That's elegant.
Abby Spot
Hacks on Max.
Hana Einbinder
Hacks on Max. If this doesn't get back for a fifth season, I don't know that we're going to have occasion to talk anymore. And I, I really love our chats.
Abby Spot
Yeah. I guess I'll have to figure something out.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Abby Spot
Make. Make a real career.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Abby Spot
So that I can come.
Hana Einbinder
So I, I'm. I'm begging our listeners watch Hacks because I want to be talking with Hannah in about a year's time.
Abby Spot
Yeah, we want. We're so desperate to be talking one year from now. And so if you could watch the show that would help us to do. Do that.
Hana Einbinder
I would love that. All right, let's turn over to Deion Sanders. What are you plugging here?
Scott Aukerman
First of all, Colorado football is back in August.
Hana Einbinder
August.
Scott Aukerman
Stay tuned for that. We already. We already back to work at this point.
Hana Einbinder
So you guys are in pre. What do you call? Pre workout.
Scott Aukerman
We're just working out. We evaluating dogs. We see how many dogs we got this season.
Hana Einbinder
How many dogs have you been through?
Scott Aukerman
Hundreds of dogs.
Hana Einbinder
Hundreds of dogs.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, that.
Hana Einbinder
And they haven't all worked out.
Scott Aukerman
They have not worked out. Not all dogs. Not all dogs go to heaven, Scott. You know that.
Deion Sanders
No, because you just get new lives.
Scott Aukerman
Exactly.
Hana Einbinder
Exactly.
Scott Aukerman
That's what I'm saying.
Abby Spot
Come on back.
Scott Aukerman
Well, other than that, I'd like to plug some other people's podcasts that I like to listen to.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
I. The. The Hollywood Handbook. The Hollywood Handbook. Sportomatic Universe.
Hana Einbinder
Those men.
Scott Aukerman
Those men.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. What we call them.
Scott Aukerman
You call them those men. Some people call them the Boys. But those men, they just launched a new podcast.
Hana Einbinder
What are these guys doing?
Scott Aukerman
It's called the Filthy Ones.
Hana Einbinder
Filthy Ones.
Scott Aukerman
It's a play on the Flagrant ones, which is a basketball podcast. The Filthy Ones is a baseball podcast.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, okay.
Scott Aukerman
Yes, yes, yes. So go over there and check that out. It's the Boys and Call.
Hana Einbinder
As.
Scott Aukerman
As they are. As they are very eloquently described as on online. The Boys and Call.
Hana Einbinder
The Boys and Call. And let me ask you a question. Did they ever drop the act?
Scott Aukerman
I still don't know.
Hana Einbinder
Interesting.
Scott Aukerman
Also, you know, watch other things. Grand Crew streaming on Peacock in the Nose.
Hana Einbinder
If enough people watch that, will that come back?
Scott Aukerman
Probably not. Neither will End the Note and watch Saturday Night Live. Ladies and gentlemen, Shabu Jelly Roll. Yeah.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. Did you. Did, uh. I have a friend who's a writer on that show. Did, uh, he write, Ladies and gentlemen, Jelly Roll?
Scott Aukerman
I did. He did.
Abby Spot
Oh, my God. This is you.
Scott Aukerman
Huge.
Abby Spot
Oh, I would love to meet him.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, you got to meet that guy. All right, Abby, Spot. What are you.
Deion Sanders
Check me out on Hannah's Wiki Feet.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, you getting in there?
Deion Sanders
I think that's where I'm gonna do my.
Hana Einbinder
That's where you're gonna comment. Oh, that's. Oh, I see. That's.
Deion Sanders
That's where I'm gonna.
Hana Einbinder
That's where you're getting your website. Oh, that's how.
Deion Sanders
Where you can find.
Hana Einbinder
I would imagine her Wiki Feet page gets more traffic than hannahinebinder.com.
Deion Sanders
That'S why we went with it. We went with the fee. There's just no doubt there are some cute people who do improv.
Hana Einbinder
Oh, okay.
Deion Sanders
The Yeti team at UCB in LA and at the Elysian Theater in la.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Deion Sanders
Can find them on Instagram at. At. For. For real Yeti. I don't know.
Hana Einbinder
Yeti for real, maybe.
Deion Sanders
Yeti for Real.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, I bet that's it. Yeah. If I had to guess. And I have no skin in this game.
Deion Sanders
I have no skin in this game either.
Hana Einbinder
But a lot of skin on your arms and legs, though. I'll tell you that much.
Deion Sanders
Well, not that much. I'm showing. Yeah, I have Pants with a huge hole in the.
Hana Einbinder
We haven't talked about that. By the way, when you walked in here, it was surprising to me. You have a huge hole in your.
Deion Sanders
I'm upset that I have to be on a chair and hide it right now.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, I know. This is terrible. Yeah, I want to plug. Look, hey, we mentioned it before. CBB World. It's your one stop shop for everything comedy Bang Bang related. We have the entire archive, every episode of this show ad free. We have every single live episode we've ever done, including the giant tour we did last year. We have great shows like Scott hasn't seen, where we watch movies that I haven't seen before. We were just in the middle of month. Month, which is so exciting. We also had. We have shows like hey Randy with Randy Snuts. We have who me with the Batman. We have the neighborhood. Listen, we have Collegetown. So many great things over there. And if you subscribe for a full year, you get two months free. So that's a great deal. All right, what do you say? Why don't we close up? The old plug never ceases to surprise me and also make me laugh. That was Clothe the plug bag by Evasir. Thanks to Evasive for that. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Hannah, I know you're mid sip of water, but I'm gonna thank you and I'm gonna say that I hope that Hacks is a huge success. I'm a big fan of the show and early adopter and excited for this season and can't wait to see it. And I hope to talk to you a year.
Abby Spot
I will see you in a year.
Hana Einbinder
I love that confidence. That's dog confidence.
Abby Spot
Oh, yeah.
Hana Einbinder
All right. And Abby, Spot, of course. Good luck with your business. Good luck with co opting Wiki feet.
Deion Sanders
We'll be in touch.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah.
Abby Spot
Fantastic.
Scott Aukerman
Should we, should we show one more scene from Hack? Should we?
Hana Einbinder
Yeah, sure.
Scott Aukerman
One more writers room scene.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Abby Spot
Sure.
Hana Einbinder
Yeah. And action.
Abby Spot
So you got those ribs?
Scott Aukerman
There's a good rib right here.
Abby Spot
And we both lost our jobs.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Yeah. I got barbecue sauce all over the rewrites.
Abby Spot
Yeah, that was really tough and I. Maybe I should have taken a different leadership strategy, but I, I, I was just trying to be, I don't know, easy and cool.
Scott Aukerman
But it's not your fault. Hey, I need a place to stay. You mind if I move in with you and Christina Hendricks?
Abby Spot
I don't. Yeah, well, I, I mean, I guess I could sleep on the couch.
Scott Aukerman
No, no, we could.
Deion Sanders
All the new Intimacy coordinators here. Hi, I'm Abby Spot, the new intimacy corner coordinator for hacks. I'm taking over your office.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow.
Hana Einbinder
Wow. So the. I'm sorry, I'm just a passive PA Observer. The intimacy coordinator is taking over the head writer's job. Office.
Abby Spot
Well, I got fired.
Hana Einbinder
Okay.
Abby Spot
Yeah, we didn't get the rewrites approved by my subordinates.
Hana Einbinder
I'm so sorry.
Deion Sanders
And they found me through Wiki feet.
Hana Einbinder
Oh. Okay, this all makes sense to me.
Scott Aukerman
I just want to write one last day before I leave the office.
Abby Spot
Let's hear it.
Scott Aukerman
This is me riding this. Me riding on the C card.
Abby Spot
Genuinely, genuinely amazing.
Scott Aukerman
Ladies and gentlemen, Toes Legit.
Hana Einbinder
Wow. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. Hi. This is Steve Buscemi. You know, the actor. Well, now I'm an actor and podcast host from Piece of Work Entertainment and Campside Media in association with Olive Productions, comes Big Time, an Apple original podcast. Each episode follows the story of one misfit with big dreams who isn't afraid to bend a few rules or take a shortcut to get there. Well, who steals bees?
Abby Spot
I was duped. I shoot you in the.
Hana Einbinder
This is Big Time. Follow and listen on Apple podcasts. Last year, Americans ate 32 billion chicken wings. Who knows just how many helpless sides of celery were heartlessly thrown away? But this year, celery neglect can stop with you and irresistible Jif peanut butter. Because you can make a snack to make a difference. You can buy a jar of Jif to save the celery. So please don't let celery be decoration for wings. Tap the banner to save the celery. Auto insurance can all seem the same.
Scott Aukerman
Until it comes time to use it. So don't get stuck paying more for less coverage. Switch to USA Auto insurance and you could start saving money in no time. Get a quote today, restrictions apply. USA.
Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode Featuring Hannah Einbinder, Carl Tart, and Talia Tabin
Release Date: March 24, 2025
Hosts: Scott Aukerman, Hannah Einbinder, Abby Spot, Deion Sanders
Comedy Bang Bang returns with an electrifying episode featuring the multifaceted Hannah Einbinder, along with guests Carl Tart and Talia Tabin. Hosted by Scott Aukerman, the episode delves deep into Einbinder's acclaimed role in the television series Hacks, her personal life, and her unique perspectives on comedy and culture. The episode is a blend of insightful conversation, humorous exchanges, and memorable quotes that capture the essence of each guest’s personality.
The conversation kicks off with an enthusiastic introduction of Hannah Einbinder, highlighting her pivotal role as Ava Voy in Hacks. Einbinder shares anecdotes about the show's upcoming fourth season, slated to premiere on April 10th, dubbed "Wet Day."
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (01:08): "I see London, I see France. I see your house on Google Maps. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang."
Einbinder discusses the complexities of her character's journey within the show's universe, including power dynamics and career progression. She humorously recounts her character’s evolution from a struggling writer to the head writer of a late-night show, emphasizing the satirical take on the entertainment industry.
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (06:26): "Yeah, but that's how much transferred down to you. Your ratio of power, actually, that's like..."
Transitioning from her on-screen role, Einbinder opens up about her personal life, addressing topics such as her bisexuality and ADHD. She candidly discusses the challenges and triumphs of balancing her personal identity with a public career.
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (12:28): "I'm here for third time, and I chose to do that. But she says, like, they all wear a costume and throw around the toy, which I think is funny."
Einbinder also touches upon her support for the Philadelphia Eagles, sharing heartfelt stories about attending Super Bowl events with her father, highlighting the emotional bond formed through sports.
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (13:35): "My dad's from Philly, and my dad had a very strong connection to the Eagles through his father. That's really all sports are, just wanting to be near your dad."
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the creative process behind Hacks. Einbinder elaborates on the challenges of scriptwriting, the importance of improvisation, and the collaborative environment of the writers' room. She humorously critiques conventional writing methods and advocates for a more dynamic approach.
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (43:56): "We have the entire archive, every episode of this show ad-free. We have every single live episode we've ever done, including the giant tour we did last year."
The dialogue also features interactions with Deion Sanders, who brings a humorous twist to the conversation by blending his football background with comedic elements, further enriching the episode's entertainment value.
Notable Quote:
Deion Sanders (50:06): "I'm a bit unusual just because for the past 11 lives, I've been a dog. And this is my first year."
The episode is peppered with lighthearted jokes and playful exchanges. From mispronunciations of "Google" to amusing takes on Wikipedia entries, the hosts and guests maintain a lively and engaging atmosphere. Einbinder’s playful critique of her Wikipedia page and interactions about foot ratings on WikiFeet add layers of humor that resonate with the audience.
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (12:10): "You reside in Los Angeles, California. That's a fact. And I hope to die here."
As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts discuss upcoming projects, including the release of Hacks on "Wet Day" and promotional content related to the show. They also highlight other media ventures and encourage listeners to engage with their content across various platforms.
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (70:00): "Hacks is out. We need to watch it on Wet Day. We need to. And it comes out every week, too."
The episode wraps up with a blend of sincere appreciation and comedic flair. Einbinder expresses her excitement for the show's success and hints at future collaborations, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating what’s next.
Notable Quote:
Hannah Einbinder (71:38): "And I hope to talk to you a year, I hope to talk to you a year."
Conclusion
This episode of Comedy Bang Bang offers a captivating glimpse into Hannah Einbinder’s world, balancing professional insights with personal anecdotes and comedic genius. Scott Aukerman masterfully navigates the conversation, ensuring that each segment is both informative and entertaining. Whether discussing the nuances of Hacks, personal milestones, or engaging in playful banter, the episode is a testament to the show's enduring appeal and Einbinder’s rising star in the comedy landscape.
Key Takeaways:
For fans of Hacks, comedy enthusiasts, and newcomers alike, this episode is a must-listen, offering both laughter and meaningful conversation.