Help Me Rhombus (Carl Tart, Angela Giarratana, Alex Fernie)

Comedy Bang Bang: "Help Me Rhombus" (December 8, 2025)

With Scott Aukerman, Carl Tart, Angela Giarratana, and Alex Fernie

Episode Overview

This special CBB "Roundtable" format episode, hosted by Scott Aukerman, assembles an eclectic panel for an hour-plus of comic improvisational chaos: O.J. Simpson (Carl Tart), Angus Montgomery Diana (Angela Giarratana), and Flasher Gremlin (Alex Fernie). The "roundtable" promises to tackle the "issues of the day," but true to CBB tradition, it takes joyful detours through absurd hypothetical questions, cereal mascots, body counts, and the wide world of supernatural creatures.

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Panel Introductions and Personas

(02:19–18:27)

Scott opens the roundtable, setting up the bit that the show will address the "serious issues" of the moment—before immediately swerving into absurdist territory.
O.J. Simpson (Carl Tart) is introduced in Aukerman’s trademark "confused facts" style, with increasingly wild biographical errors (04:23). This O.J. is recently deceased and now resides in the "netherworld," where he reflects on his life.
- “[About dying] Isn’t that something when somebody dies? It’s a terrible thing.” (04:44–04:51)
Angus Montgomery Diana (Angela Giarratana), an allegedly 23-year-old viral podcaster from Tampa, explains his rise to fame after talking about “finding the clit” and describes his ‘Buffalo Wild Wings’ podcast—“Chicken Things and Different Things”—where political issues are assigned dipping sauces.
- “We just talk about political issues and then we decide what kind of dipping sauce that political issue should get.” (13:15–13:27)
Flasher Gremlin (Alex Fernie), straight from the "Gremlins" franchise ("both movies!" he notes), arrives deep in self-reckoning mode, apologizing for his infamous cinematic flashing.
- “I just wanted to come out…I’m not the same person I used to be. I know now what I did then wasn’t right...” (20:13–20:26)

2. Roundtable Questions and Absurd Debates

(34:03–85:06)

Roundtable Theme Parodies

Panel riffs on shapes—pentagrams, rhombuses, and the episode title “Help Me Rhombus.”
- “This is the CBB Roundtable, where the table is round, but help me rhombus.” (34:28–34:43)

Q1: If You Could Hang Out with Any Cartoon Character, Who Would It Be?

(38:09–45:17)

Flasher Gremlin: The cigar-smoking baby from "Roger Rabbit."
Angus: “Ed, Edd n Eddy” — “I went to a private school...I just would love to just like, run around and not give a f***.” (42:09–42:16)
O.J.: Sugar Bear from Golden Crisp cereal commercials.
- “He was cool, man…Fred Flintstone got me so deep into Fruity Pebbles.” (43:37–44:08)
This spirals into a debate about cereal mascots’ trustworthiness and the lack of female cereal mascots:
- Angus: “I can't think of one lady mascot for the cereal…” (45:21–45:27)

Q2: If You Could Be Any Supernatural Creature, What Would You Be?

(49:46–54:29)

O.J.: Tony the Tiger.
- “Tony the Tiger’s got to be about 6’4.” (50:00)
Angus: "Marry a fairy, kill a gnome, and f*** an eagle." He ultimately picks "whoever is in charge of all the fairies" — Oberon or the Fairy Queen.
Flasher Gremlin: Mothman, able to predict disasters.
- “I just want to know if I’m forgiven…I want to be able to look into the future and say, do they forgive me for the way I was before?” (54:46–54:57)

Q3: If You Could Be Immortal, What Age Would You Stop Aging?

(60:14–66:48)

Angus: 22, the age of love and physical perfection.
- “22 is ripe. 22? I had just had my first girlfriend. She had a personality, man. She had a personality.” (60:41–60:54)
Flasher Gremlin: “Right where I am now, because I’ve been doing the growth.”
O.J.: 47.
- “You’re still young and spry…You got gray, so you’re kind of like a silver fox, so…the older ladies are attracted to you.” (64:54–65:18)
Extensive riffing on “body counts,” jimmies, and the dangers of unprotected sex:
- “Do you put a Jimmy on when you kill the poonanny?” — O.J. (66:16–66:20)

Q4: If You Could Commit Any Crime and Get Away with It?

(68:06–73:39)

Flasher Gremlin: Honestly, "flashing" (the crime itself), but alternately, "train robbery."
Angus: “Impersonating a police officer…it sounds fun as hell, dude.”
O.J.: Stealing desserts en masse — “Dessert theft.”

Q5: What is Skibidi Toilet?

(73:25–75:44)

Scott queries Angus to explain Skibidi Toilet (viral Gen Alpha meme), with hilarious confusion:
- “It’s a meme of a human-headed toilet...The meme is that toilet, like, fighting...Oh God, I don't know if I'm getting this right.” (74:40–74:53)
Flasher Gremlin assists with more details: “...head’s coming out of the toilet; it is fighting a war against the cameras and the other high tech enemy army.” (74:53–75:05)

3. Running Gags & Notable Quotes

Body Count Riff: “What's your body count?” recurring to near-absurdity, with Scott dodging the question.
Cereal as Vagina Metaphor: “All vaginas the same. It’s just the toppings are different.” — Scott (45:05–45:08), which Flasher Gremlin immediately flags as “a reflective, disturbing worldview.” (45:57–46:02)
Consent & Flashing: Numerous riffs on the boundaries of consent and exposure, always delivered in trademark CBB irreverent style.
Remorse & Growth: Flasher Gremlin’s repeated apologies: “To anyone I harmed with my lack-of-dick. I know what I did wasn’t right.” (21:21, 36:21)
OJ’s Wisdom: "Money’s too tight to mention...but I got the jab, and four years later, three years later, plap." (08:24, 08:53)
Pop Culture Muddle: Extended, purposely confused cross-references to pop culture — Conrad Bain vs. Conrad Murray, Different Strokes vs. The State, etc.
Absurd Parodies: “Help me rhombus!” (34:27); “Oppenhomies” for a Black version of Oppenheimer (28:15–28:29)

Notable Quotes

Scott: "We’re going to hash things out on this episode. We’re going to talk about thoughts, feelings. Nothing is off limits." (02:19)
OJ: “There are no coincidences, but there are pre-incidences.” (09:08–09:14)
Angus: “I just started a new podcast with Buffalo Wild Wings...we talk about political issues and then decide what kind of dipping sauce that political issue should get.” (13:15–13:27)
Flasher Gremlin: “I just want to fucking waggle my crotch so bad right now...It’s not a sexual thing, it’s a power thing.” (39:45–39:52)
OJ: “All I would do is dessert theft.” (72:15)
Scott: "Is any alley blind, when it leads you into seeing?" (74:19)

Important Timestamps

02:00: Scott’s opening improvised song & catchphrase
04:23: Introduction of “O.J. Simpson”
11:24: Angus steps in, viral podcaster
18:27: Flasher Gremlin’s arrival/apology
34:03: Roundtable re-opens post-ads ("Help Me Rhombus" riff)
38:09: Q1: Cartoon character hangout
49:46: Q2: Supernatural creature debate
60:14: Q3: “What age would you be forever?”
68:06: Q4: “If you could commit any crime…”
73:25: Skibidi Toilet explained
77:10: Plugs section
85:06: Show closes

Tone and Style

The conversation is driven by fast-paced, tangential bits, rapid-fire character improvisation, and meta-commentary on podcasting and online culture. The episode is loose, unfiltered, and irreverently self-aware, prizing riffing and bits over actual answers to “issues of the day.” The comedic style is the CBB signature: playing dumb, literal misunderstanding, faux-naïveté, and world-class banter.

Memorable Moments

Meta-podcasting satire: Angus’s “clip podcast,” the contrast between actual podcasting and TikTok virality.
**OJ’s sincere and surreal remorse over dying of "the jab" and reflections on COVID-era living.
**Flasher Gremlin’s ongoing journey of self-improvement, apologizing for onscreen and real-life flashing, and the philosophical debates on consent.
The "cereal/vagina/toppings" metaphor spiral, with atomic deadpan from all participants.
Clarification and deadpan confusion about Skibidi Toilet as an emblem of internet culture’s absurdity.

Final Thoughts

“Help Me Rhombus” delivers a classic Comedy Bang Bang blend of improvisational character work, satirical hot-button “issues,” pop culture non-sequiturs, and a profound lack of actual resolution—just the way fans like it. The real “issues of the day” are less about politics and more existential: What is Skibidi Toilet? What’s your body count? And will Phoebe Cates ever forgive a Gremlin?

For More

Listen Ad-Free: All CBB episodes available at cbbworld.com.
Live Shows: CBB tours, UCB LA’s Convoy, and other pluggy goodness, all lurking in the plug bag.
Empathy: Per Flasher Gremlin, “...think about the people we’ve affected. What would it feel like to have a little guy in a trench coat, sunglasses, and a cigarette pop out and flash their lack of a dick at them?” (81:59–82:03)

[For full bit context and more, catch the episode on your fave podcast app or at cbbworld.com]

Comedy Bang Bang: "Help Me Rhombus" (December 8, 2025)

With Scott Aukerman, Carl Tart, Angela Giarratana, and Alex Fernie

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Panel Introductions and Personas

(02:19–18:27)

Scott opens the roundtable, setting up the bit that the show will address the "serious issues" of the moment—before immediately swerving into absurdist territory.
O.J. Simpson (Carl Tart) is introduced in Aukerman’s trademark "confused facts" style, with increasingly wild biographical errors (04:23). This O.J. is recently deceased and now resides in the "netherworld," where he reflects on his life.
- “[About dying] Isn’t that something when somebody dies? It’s a terrible thing.” (04:44–04:51)
Angus Montgomery Diana (Angela Giarratana), an allegedly 23-year-old viral podcaster from Tampa, explains his rise to fame after talking about “finding the clit” and describes his ‘Buffalo Wild Wings’ podcast—“Chicken Things and Different Things”—where political issues are assigned dipping sauces.
- “We just talk about political issues and then we decide what kind of dipping sauce that political issue should get.” (13:15–13:27)
Flasher Gremlin (Alex Fernie), straight from the "Gremlins" franchise ("both movies!" he notes), arrives deep in self-reckoning mode, apologizing for his infamous cinematic flashing.
- “I just wanted to come out…I’m not the same person I used to be. I know now what I did then wasn’t right...” (20:13–20:26)

2. Roundtable Questions and Absurd Debates

(34:03–85:06)

Roundtable Theme Parodies

Panel riffs on shapes—pentagrams, rhombuses, and the episode title “Help Me Rhombus.”
- “This is the CBB Roundtable, where the table is round, but help me rhombus.” (34:28–34:43)

Q1: If You Could Hang Out with Any Cartoon Character, Who Would It Be?

(38:09–45:17)

Flasher Gremlin: The cigar-smoking baby from "Roger Rabbit."
Angus: “Ed, Edd n Eddy” — “I went to a private school...I just would love to just like, run around and not give a f***.” (42:09–42:16)
O.J.: Sugar Bear from Golden Crisp cereal commercials.
- “He was cool, man…Fred Flintstone got me so deep into Fruity Pebbles.” (43:37–44:08)
This spirals into a debate about cereal mascots’ trustworthiness and the lack of female cereal mascots:
- Angus: “I can't think of one lady mascot for the cereal…” (45:21–45:27)

Q2: If You Could Be Any Supernatural Creature, What Would You Be?

(49:46–54:29)

O.J.: Tony the Tiger.
- “Tony the Tiger’s got to be about 6’4.” (50:00)
Angus: "Marry a fairy, kill a gnome, and f*** an eagle." He ultimately picks "whoever is in charge of all the fairies" — Oberon or the Fairy Queen.
Flasher Gremlin: Mothman, able to predict disasters.
- “I just want to know if I’m forgiven…I want to be able to look into the future and say, do they forgive me for the way I was before?” (54:46–54:57)

Q3: If You Could Be Immortal, What Age Would You Stop Aging?

(60:14–66:48)

Angus: 22, the age of love and physical perfection.
- “22 is ripe. 22? I had just had my first girlfriend. She had a personality, man. She had a personality.” (60:41–60:54)
Flasher Gremlin: “Right where I am now, because I’ve been doing the growth.”
O.J.: 47.
- “You’re still young and spry…You got gray, so you’re kind of like a silver fox, so…the older ladies are attracted to you.” (64:54–65:18)
Extensive riffing on “body counts,” jimmies, and the dangers of unprotected sex:
- “Do you put a Jimmy on when you kill the poonanny?” — O.J. (66:16–66:20)

Q4: If You Could Commit Any Crime and Get Away with It?

(68:06–73:39)

Flasher Gremlin: Honestly, "flashing" (the crime itself), but alternately, "train robbery."
Angus: “Impersonating a police officer…it sounds fun as hell, dude.”
O.J.: Stealing desserts en masse — “Dessert theft.”

Q5: What is Skibidi Toilet?

(73:25–75:44)

Scott queries Angus to explain Skibidi Toilet (viral Gen Alpha meme), with hilarious confusion:
- “It’s a meme of a human-headed toilet...The meme is that toilet, like, fighting...Oh God, I don't know if I'm getting this right.” (74:40–74:53)
Flasher Gremlin assists with more details: “...head’s coming out of the toilet; it is fighting a war against the cameras and the other high tech enemy army.” (74:53–75:05)

3. Running Gags & Notable Quotes

Body Count Riff: “What's your body count?” recurring to near-absurdity, with Scott dodging the question.
Cereal as Vagina Metaphor: “All vaginas the same. It’s just the toppings are different.” — Scott (45:05–45:08), which Flasher Gremlin immediately flags as “a reflective, disturbing worldview.” (45:57–46:02)
Consent & Flashing: Numerous riffs on the boundaries of consent and exposure, always delivered in trademark CBB irreverent style.
Remorse & Growth: Flasher Gremlin’s repeated apologies: “To anyone I harmed with my lack-of-dick. I know what I did wasn’t right.” (21:21, 36:21)
OJ’s Wisdom: "Money’s too tight to mention...but I got the jab, and four years later, three years later, plap." (08:24, 08:53)
Pop Culture Muddle: Extended, purposely confused cross-references to pop culture — Conrad Bain vs. Conrad Murray, Different Strokes vs. The State, etc.
Absurd Parodies: “Help me rhombus!” (34:27); “Oppenhomies” for a Black version of Oppenheimer (28:15–28:29)

Notable Quotes

Scott: "We’re going to hash things out on this episode. We’re going to talk about thoughts, feelings. Nothing is off limits." (02:19)
OJ: “There are no coincidences, but there are pre-incidences.” (09:08–09:14)
Angus: “I just started a new podcast with Buffalo Wild Wings...we talk about political issues and then decide what kind of dipping sauce that political issue should get.” (13:15–13:27)
Flasher Gremlin: “I just want to fucking waggle my crotch so bad right now...It’s not a sexual thing, it’s a power thing.” (39:45–39:52)
OJ: “All I would do is dessert theft.” (72:15)
Scott: "Is any alley blind, when it leads you into seeing?" (74:19)

Important Timestamps

02:00: Scott’s opening improvised song & catchphrase
04:23: Introduction of “O.J. Simpson”
11:24: Angus steps in, viral podcaster
18:27: Flasher Gremlin’s arrival/apology
34:03: Roundtable re-opens post-ads ("Help Me Rhombus" riff)
38:09: Q1: Cartoon character hangout
49:46: Q2: Supernatural creature debate
60:14: Q3: “What age would you be forever?”
68:06: Q4: “If you could commit any crime…”
73:25: Skibidi Toilet explained
77:10: Plugs section
85:06: Show closes

Tone and Style

Memorable Moments

Meta-podcasting satire: Angus’s “clip podcast,” the contrast between actual podcasting and TikTok virality.
**OJ’s sincere and surreal remorse over dying of "the jab" and reflections on COVID-era living.
**Flasher Gremlin’s ongoing journey of self-improvement, apologizing for onscreen and real-life flashing, and the philosophical debates on consent.
The "cereal/vagina/toppings" metaphor spiral, with atomic deadpan from all participants.
Clarification and deadpan confusion about Skibidi Toilet as an emblem of internet culture’s absurdity.

Final Thoughts

For More

Listen Ad-Free: All CBB episodes available at cbbworld.com.
Live Shows: CBB tours, UCB LA’s Convoy, and other pluggy goodness, all lurking in the plug bag.
Empathy: Per Flasher Gremlin, “...think about the people we’ve affected. What would it feel like to have a little guy in a trench coat, sunglasses, and a cigarette pop out and flash their lack of a dick at them?” (81:59–82:03)

[For full bit context and more, catch the episode on your fave podcast app or at cbbworld.com]

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Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Help Me Rhombus" (December 8, 2025)

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Panel Introductions and Personas

2. Roundtable Questions and Absurd Debates

Roundtable Theme Parodies

Q1: If You Could Hang Out with Any Cartoon Character, Who Would It Be?

Q2: If You Could Be Any Supernatural Creature, What Would You Be?

Q3: If You Could Be Immortal, What Age Would You Stop Aging?

Q4: If You Could Commit Any Crime and Get Away with It?

Q5: What is Skibidi Toilet?

3. Running Gags & Notable Quotes

Notable Quotes

Important Timestamps

Tone and Style

Memorable Moments

Final Thoughts

For More

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "Help Me Rhombus" (December 8, 2025)

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Panel Introductions and Personas

2. Roundtable Questions and Absurd Debates

Roundtable Theme Parodies

Q1: If You Could Hang Out with Any Cartoon Character, Who Would It Be?

Q2: If You Could Be Any Supernatural Creature, What Would You Be?

Q3: If You Could Be Immortal, What Age Would You Stop Aging?

Q4: If You Could Commit Any Crime and Get Away with It?

Q5: What is Skibidi Toilet?

3. Running Gags & Notable Quotes

Notable Quotes

Important Timestamps

Tone and Style

Memorable Moments

Final Thoughts

For More