Hollyweird (Amita Rao, Will Hines, Casey Feigh)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode "Hollyweird"

Release Date: June 2, 2025

Introduction

In the "Hollyweird" episode of Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast, host Scott Aukerman delves into a bizarre and entertaining conversation featuring three unique guests: Amita Rao from the FX series Adults, the eccentric multimillionaire H.M. Rosemont, and a character intriguingly named Death, portrayed by Casey Feigh. This episode, rich with humor, surreal storytelling, and improvised puzzles, showcases the show's signature blend of celebrity interviews and interactions with offbeat personalities.

Guest Introductions

• Amita Rao: A television star from the FX show Adults. Scott introduces her as a beloved character navigating the tumultuous mid-20s.

• H.M. Rosemont: Described as an eccentric multimillionaire, Rosemont brings an air of mystery and uniqueness to the conversation with his puzzle-centric mansion.

• Death (Casey Feigh): A character with a darkly comedic twist, Death adds an unexpected and humorous element to the episode, engaging in playful banter about mortality and puzzles.

Main Discussions

1. H.M. Rosemont’s Puzzle Mansion

   • Mansion Overview: H.M. Rosemont introduces his mansion, which is intricately designed with various puzzles that must be solved to navigate from room to room. Each puzzle presents a unique challenge, some of which are intentionally deceptive ("red herrings") to test the guests' problem-solving skills.

     H.M. Rosemont: "Every room to proceed to the next room, one must solve the puzzle of that room." [25:01]

   • Notable Puzzles: The conversation highlights a hypothetical puzzle involving a poem that misleadingly points to using keys to open doors, emphasizing the mansion's complexity and the high stakes of failure (e.g., being left outside or encountering death traps).

     Death: "Yes, a lot of people have died. Can I ask an even more pressing question that's on my mind?" [25:17]

   • Puzzling Dynamics: Scott and Death attempt to solve a poem-based puzzle, showcasing the interplay between logic and humor.

     Scott Aukerman: "Can I ask an even more pressing question that's on my mind?" [25:17]

2. Amita Rao’s Insights from Adults

   • Show Overview: Amita discusses her role in Adults, portraying a character navigating the challenges of emerging adulthood. She touches upon themes such as relationships and personal growth.

     Amita Rao: "The show is about more than being 23, 26. The show is about a group of 20-somethings navigating just like the highs and lows of adulthood." [15:37]

   • Challenges and Career: She shares anecdotes about her experiences with the show’s production, including the importance of completing seasons to support her colleagues.

     Amita Rao: "I think I was too cruel to some, and I think they docked me down to four." [07:00]

3. Interaction with Death

   • Character Dynamics: Death adds a layer of dark humor, introducing the concept of mandatory lethality tied to puzzle-solving within Rosemont’s mansion. The playful threat of being "killed" if unable to solve puzzles keeps the atmosphere light yet intriguing.

     Death: "I'm going to kill someone at the table today. That is why I'm here." [46:21]

   • Puzzles and Challenges: The trio engages in solving various puzzles presented by H.M. Rosemont, blending absurdity with clever wordplay. For instance, a poem about dancing turtles and shapes leads to humorous conjectures and dead ends.

     H.M. Rosemont: "The pigs are snorting and making a quilt. So many bright colors it takes to get such a thing built." [37:12]

Notable Quotes

• Scott Aukerman: "It's like a Saturday all the time up there. Nice and easy." [58:08]

• Amita Rao: "If you know the rules and they ask the questions." [55:15]

• Death: "I have empathy for everyone on reality shows. I find they're all 100% good people." [22:06]

Humorous Highlights

• Eccentric Introductions: H.M. Rosemont’s overly formal demeanor and unique way of explaining his mansion’s puzzles set a comedic tone early in the episode.

• Puppet Show Antics: Death’s mention of puppet shows in a school setting adds a surreal and funny element, especially when intertwined with discussions about fertility clinics and creation stories.

  Death: "I did puppet shows in the backyard since I lost my job." [81:10]

• Interactive Puzzles: The interactive nature of the episode, where guests attempt to solve absurd puzzles, creates engaging and laugh-out-loud moments.

  H.M. Rosemont: "You solved the problem. Can you keep them?" [33:03]

Conclusion

The "Hollyweird" episode of Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast masterfully combines celebrity culture with fantastical elements, creating a unique and entertaining experience for listeners. Through the interplay between Amita Rao, H.M. Rosemont, and Death, Scott Aukerman orchestrates a memorable episode filled with laughter, quirky challenges, and unexpected plot twists. This episode exemplifies why Comedy Bang Bang remains a beloved staple in the podcasting world, continually delivering fresh and inventive content to its audience.

Final Thoughts

Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the show, "Hollyweird" offers a delightful dive into the unconventional and humorous side of celebrity interactions, all wrapped up in the signature comedic flair of Scott Aukerman and his eclectic guests.

Transcript

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[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just like you. I put your pants on one leg at a time. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Joey O Tweets. Let's see, Joey O Tweets submitted that roughly 2 1/2 years ago and I'm just getting around to it now. But thank you Joey. Hope you're still a listener and honestly hope you're still on this earth. Thanks Joey O Tweets and welcome to Comedy Banking for another edition. We have an exciting show today. We have an eccentric multimillionaire coming up on the show. We have a being. I guess everyone is a being in some sense, but I think you'll see what I mean when I bring them on. And we also have a substitute teacher coming up a little later on the show. But we also have a very exciting show business guest to start us off with. We are in. Holly, look, I'm just going to say it weird.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we like to have people who work, working in. I'm gonna say it again, Holly. Weird on the show. We love our film stars. That's number one. We love people who are in movie. Movie stars.

[Death]

Movie stars are better.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we love booking movie stars. Yeah, yeah. But you know what?

[Death]

How many have you had on?

[Scott Aukerman]

They usually are only on once. Yeah, but we've had Ben Stillers in all those Night of the Museum movies.

[Death]

That is a bonafide movie star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Jake Johnson had a movie out when he was on the show. He was promoting a movie.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Death]

He's tv, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, thank you. I agree. Would a movie star see me at the beach and come up and say hi? I don't think so. Only a TV star would do that.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Adam Scott would like to be in movies, but, you know, Madame Web.

[Death]

Was he in Madame Web?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. It just doesn't count. He was playing Ben Parker, Peter Parker's father.

[Death]

Or Adam Scott was playing Peter Parker's father.

[Scott Aukerman]

Uncle. Uncle Ben Young. Uncle Yunkle.

[Death]

Yuncle. Yuncle. Adam Scott. I don't think Madame Web counts as a movie. Tbh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Thank you so much. I agree. So he does not count as a movie star. But we love our TV stars. We love having them on. They're so much better than novelists or.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Other podcasters.

[Death]

Yeah. Novelists are just verbal or literary podcasters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Literary, exactly.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like I could. Like I could write a book. You just write down everything I said on each podcast.

[Death]

Literally. Literally. So easy. And they just go on and on and on and on. It's so boring.

[Scott Aukerman]

But today we have one of our lovely TV stars. We love our TV stars, don't we? I mean, we love watching them on our. On our small screens.

[Death]

I love.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you know, with the sizes of televisions these days, they're getting bigger and bigger. I would say that. And then, you know, screens with. In the movie theaters with our multiplexers are getting smaller and smaller. Someday they'll meet in the middle and you won't know what you're watching.

[Death]

Yeah. And we'll all be the same kind of star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Finally. But she is a wonderful TV star that I first came across her work. I was very late to the party, but perhaps, perhaps two months or so ago when we had Asav Ali on the show talking about deli boys. And at that point I had only seen one or two episodes when he was on. But then he came on a different show. I do. And I was proud to tell him I completed the season and I watched all 10 episodes and became a big fan of this person's work from that show.

[Death]

I didn't know you finished TV shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do. Yeah.

[Death]

You just don't seem to have a respect for the art form, so I just didn't know you finished it.

[Scott Aukerman]

She also has now her own show. Show that she's toplining. Would you say you're above the title.

[Death]

Top lining. I haven't heard that one. Sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

She hasn't ankled it yet. Yeah, I'm using variety speak here.

[Death]

What was the question?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you above the title in this?

[Death]

Yeah, I'm above the title. Yeah, I'm. I think. Or I'm like, right. Oh, I'm, like, right in front of the title. I'm kind of like, tit first in front of the title. If you look at all the billboards, I'm kind of tit first.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you, like, Fast and Furious presenting Hobbs and Shaw in a way, like.

[Death]

I wish I knew that latter reference for the life of me. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a generational thing. People don't know. Fast. Fast and Furious, anyway.

[Death]

No, no. Fast and Furious. I do know they presented Hobbs and Shaw.

[Scott Aukerman]

They started presenting movies.

[Death]

You said Hobbs and Shaw. I thought Calvin and Hobbes. I'm gonna be totally honest with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

The most famous Hobbes is Calvin and Hobbes.

[Death]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Death]

And the most famous Shaw is Robert.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shaw from jaws, celebrating his 50th anniversary this year.

[Death]

Ooh, another movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello. We love our movies.

[Death]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

But she has a new television show entitled Adults and we'll figure out. Don't worry, fans of Call Sheet Talk. We'll figure out where she is on the call sheet.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please welcome to the show for the first time. Amitha Rao.

[Amitha Rao]

Hi.

[Death]

Thanks for having me, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wonderful to meet you. All right, let's get to it. What number are you?

[Death]

I'm four. I think I'm four.

[Amitha Rao]

Wow.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are five leads on the show.

[Death]

And it's telling that I am at the bottom. Considering I have the best body, you would think they would want to put someone like me at the top.

[Scott Aukerman]

Best body and body of work. I would say yes.

[Death]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a sexy body of work.

[Death]

Thank you, Scott. I was like, thank you. I wasn't sure if we were gonna be able to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like to compliment people on their bodies on the show.

[Death]

Of work. Yeah. Of work. If they're in movies. And so, yeah, I. I am. It was a shame, honestly.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's going on with this?

[Death]

You know what? I think I. I got in a contentious situation with some of the people on set. I think I was too cruel to some, and I think they.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did they readjust you after the first couple of days.

[Death]

I used to be one, and then I. I came in and I slapped one of the PAs, and then they. They docked me down to four.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was the settlement that the PA was suddenly number one?

[Death]

Yeah. Yeah. The PA shot up to one and I was like, she doesn't have a good body at all. Doesn't make sense to put her at the top. But you know what? It was a huge career transition for her, and I'm happy I could help a woman succeed.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's fantastic. I love that. The glass ceiling finally broken.

[Death]

Exactly. All I had to do is slap one. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

All I had to do was slap a bitch. But so you four, if you were five, that would almost be better. Because I would go like, oh, obviously they're not doing this based on merits.

[Death]

No, no, no, totally. If I was 5, I would be like, okay, oh, this is a random draw situation, 100%. Or you have to make the others feel better. Put me at the way bottom. But we have. No, no. I was 4, which felt intentional and cruel.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would jockey for season two, and we all hope it gets season two. Of course.

[Death]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adult on FX currently. But I would jockey for next season to this and say, you know what.

[Death]

Would you come and. Would you come and fight for me?

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love. I'd love to be your agent or.

[Death]

Matt, you would be my agent?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I would love that. We could represent each other. Would you be mine?

[Death]

I would totally be yours. I mean, I don't respect your art form either, so it's like, I think we would do a good thing for each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Neither do I. Do you think you get me on Doughboys?

[Death]

Yes, totally. We need way more white guys on that show. We only have two. It's like Tim Baltz and Jake. We need at least one more three. Oh, and then you could be one of the call sheet. Actually, that was the deli boys. It wasn't Asifa who's number one. It was actually.

[Scott Aukerman]

We talked about it.

[Death]

It was Tim. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it Tim, really? No.

[Death]

But wouldn't that be hilarious? The one white guy on the show was number one. The call sheet. No, no, it was awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, he was. He was. He was two, as I recall. We talked about this and then.

[Death]

Oh, a was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I believe so. Was he not?

[Death]

Oh, I actually have no idea. Honestly, to be honest, I. I think I've lied a lot so far.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you remember what you were on on the day? Because how many days did you work? I imagine. Let me guess. Can I guess how many days you worked? You were in three episodes. Is that correct? Or four?

[Death]

I was in five.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, you were in five.

[Death]

I was in five.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you in the back five or. Or were you in, like, popped?

[Death]

I didn't top line any of them for sure. But I was in the. I was in. Well, I was in 3, 5, 7, 9, and 10.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you went odd numbers for a while, and then they're like. You know what? They were like, let's put the odd numbers and the evens together in our finale. And so you did five episodes. Let me guess how many days you worked because you got that big wedding in the tenth episode. Spoilers.

[Death]

Spoilers. Spoiler alert. It's been out for a while, guys. It's been out for a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love a spoiler alert. Do you have one on your phone? The spoiler alert for anytime anyone spoils anything, you get an alert?

[Death]

No, I wish I had that on my phone. My friends are always spoiling for me because I haven't consumed any media in, like, a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

It feels like if you're. If you're even one week late to something, like, I give you an example. I didn't watch Tiger King for a week, and then I thought, I've seen all the memes. I've seen all the jokes. There's no point to this anymore.

[Death]

I completely agree. It's like media. But also, I have to come clean on Sunday. I. This is my true opinion. I have a very diffuse media education, and I think it's a very Gen Z thing where it's like, most of my media education is like, I knew about Back to the Future from John Mulaney's joke about Back to the Future. Like, I, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, look, honestly, when Back to the Future came out, it's. It's now been 40 years.

[Death]

Yeah, it was like, one.

[Scott Aukerman]

When it. When it came out, I wasn't even alive yet. But I'm now, by the way, I was born in 1996. It's on. It's on a sliding scale. But no, when it came out, if the movies that had come out 40 years earlier would have been 1945, who would be interested in them? Like, why would anyone be interested in Back to the Future now?

[Death]

I mean, I think I literally. I can't even remember the movie because I was stoned last time I saw it. I'm, like, trying to think of a.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you see it more than once? So the last time you saw it, you were stoned?

[Death]

Well, I keep trying to have a media education, but every time I'm like, okay, I'm gonna sit down. I'm gonna watch all these movies. I'm always stoned. And then so it's like. Doesn't mean anything. I'm like, great. I have Like a bad memory of. It's like, honestly the same. It's worse than before because now I can't even contribute to it because I'm like.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like, at least before, you had somewhat of an idea culturally, of what people were talking about. Now you've seen, like, you have a hazy recollection of.

[Death]

I don't feel confident because it feels like every time I have, like, dementia and I feel insecure when I start talking about it because I'm like, oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did I imagine that? Or is that something I actually saw?

[Death]

Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, you're going to learn that I have a deteriorating mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So what is. And we love movies, don't we? What is your favorite, favorite movie then? And is it something that came out recently?

[Death]

You always can't see this, but he has a gun to my head and it's very scary. My favorite movie is probably I, Tonya. I fucking love I, Tonya.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please don't joke about I, Tonya, this Christmas, by the way.

[Death]

Oh, what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Never mind. Inside joke.

[Death]

Is that when she hit her?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's Christmas. Is it a Christmas movie? Does I, Tonya, count as a Christmas movie? Like Batman Returns and Die Hard 2?

[Death]

I think so. It's in the snow. It's in the ice rink. It's Christmas. I think every ice rink ice movie should be Christmas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Frozen, obviously, is a Christmas movie, but, like, anytime there's anyone, like, putting ice into someone's drink, that's Christmas.

[Death]

Christmas. That's Christmas to me. Every time I'm at a restaurant, I get ice. That's a little mini Christmas.

[Scott Aukerman]

The ice storm. When they're swapping wives.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know about that? Key parties. Do you know what those are?

[Death]

Is it a swinger thing?

[Scott Aukerman]

It is a swinger Swingers. Do you know about that?

[Death]

Oh, I know about swingers. You don't need to be. You don't need to be. You can be young and know about swingers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Swingers crosses all generational divides.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas, baby. Yeah, yeah, Tell us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas, baby. Tell us about adults. Adults is out on FX right now. People can watch this. Would it surprise you to learn that I've watched two episodes?

[Death]

Oh, my God, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know if this is an asif situation where I'm going to go the full 10. You'll have to come back and find out at some point. As he did. By the way, he. I am. I made him promise. And perhaps you'll make the asif Ali promise here on the show that I am his first call when he hears about whether the show was canceled or picked up.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, my God.

[Death]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

And he's. And we're gonna record it live on the show.

[Death]

Wait, that's awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

So would you like to make the Asifali promise here on the show? Oh, Scott, this is before your loved ones. This is before your agent. I mean, your agent, presumably is gonna call you a loved one.

[Death]

No, no, no, I don't. Those people don't matter to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Death]

Like you. Like you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. That would be great if they were renewed or canceled on the same day. So you. I was, like, fielding to call. Oh, my God. Anitha's calling. Asif's calling. Oh, my God.

[Death]

Oh, my God. Wait, that would be a great episode for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would be so cool if one was a yes and one was a no. And then we could. We'd have the full spectrum of, like, emotions.

[Death]

Oh, that'd be like reality tv. Yeah. One sobbing. One of us. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, tell us about adults. It's out on fx. Your number four on the call sheet. Exactly what's going on in this show.

[Death]

The show is about a group of 20 somethings navigating.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are we talking? Are we talking 20, 23 to 26? Between 23 and 26. That's the range.

[Death]

Yeah. We thought that was the most relatable demographic. We said this is the one that people relate to.

[Scott Aukerman]

So no one. Do you think there will be. If there's a season two, will there be a birthday party where someone's like, 27 and everyone kind of goes like, this dude's a drag.

[Death]

Yeah, I think once we hit 27, they'll cancel the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay.

[Death]

I think they're kind of just right now. This is for right now. As soon as we hit 27, it's like, you know, you age out.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know? That's why the Simpsons, they don't age originally. They were going to age, but because.

[Death]

They lose their insurance. Insurance?

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cartoon insurance.

[Death]

Oh, my God. That makes so much sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are myths out there that if Bart, or Barth, as some people call him.

[Death]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

El Barto. Perhaps you've heard of it.

[Death]

Yeah, no, I. I call him Alberto.

[Scott Aukerman]

That if he reaches the age of 13, he becomes a real boy and no longer a cartoon. And that's why they're keeping him where they are, because they know they can enslave him.

[Death]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

In these cartoons and just keep him working for decade upon decade.

[Death]

I mean, Honestly, it's a good idea to do it because if he got out, he'd be too powerful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think that you guys could ever or should ever be a cartoon show on adults?

[Death]

Yeah, I think that we should switch to cartoon as soon as we start aging out. I think, like, as soon as our. Our faces start to go. As soon as our bodies start to go.

[Scott Aukerman]

As soon as there's, like, crow's feet on, what, turn this into a cartoon?

[Death]

Yeah, yeah. We don't want to do the whole Botox thing. Just switch it to cartoon.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love that. So tell us what. What the show actually is about. Other than being about 20 something.

[Death]

The show is about more than being 23, 26. The show is about a group of 20 somethings navigating just like the highs and lows of adulthood. But what about the mids, emerging adulthood? The mids. The mids are explored, but they're a little more boring. That's a skip.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Why film them?

[Death]

That's what I've always said.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, if nothing's happening, let's not film today.

[Death]

No, totally, totally. And you know, there are a couple mids. There's a couple mids we filmed. And you can. Yeah, I understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you skip, leave them on the cutting room floor. That's what. That's. The other thing is, like, why does Jackie Chan. Why does he film these stunts if he's not going to do it right? Like, you watch these movies and he's like, constantly fucking up at the end where they're like, oh, no, he actually fell or he got hit by a stick or whatever. It's like, no, just don't film those. Yeah, yeah, film it when he's doing it right.

[Death]

I know. Like, cut the camera. It's like, honestly, rude. It's like, he did it right so many times. Why'd you film when he got hit by that stick?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you ever watch one of your shows, Adults, which is on FX now, and they leave in a take where someone forgets a line and you're like, why did they do that?

[Death]

I actually, personally have the belief that almost always, if you have a worst take, that will be chosen. Yeah, that will be the one chosen. And that will be the one that everyone's like, it's amazing. And it's always the worst one.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard that about other shows with casts of five or six where they're jockeying to get their lines in and not cut. And the mind games that they play with the rest of the people where, like, if everyone's going High. They go super low. So there's variety that it's like they have to cut to me if, like, I'm the only one not freaking out or whatever or, like, even going even higher or whatever.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you guys do any of that with the cast of Adults on FX now?

[Death]

Yeah. We were always playing mind games with each other. We were trying to make sure. We were trying to get under each other's skin because we wanted the show. We wanted everyone to know that in the second puberty of adulthood, because that's really what it is. You're mid-20s. It's like the other puberty you have because you're, like, transitioning from being a young, like, kind of incubated. Incubated infant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, does everyone grow extra pubes on this show? Is that. Was that part of it? Oh, cool.

[Death]

That was actually part of the mind game. So whoever had the biggest bush actually had would sometimes shoot to the number one of call sheet, which is why it was so confusing that I was 4, because I had been growing mine for, like, years. And then I got a merkin on top of it, and it was like, I. Like, I literally don't know what happened. I honestly think. I think it was a Nick thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah. Nick Kroll is, of course, what you're talking about.

[Death]

He has.

[Scott Aukerman]

And who you're talking about. Yeah. But Nick Kroll is one of the producers of the show. Nick, of course, we heard from on a previous episode, talking about it.

[Death]

Did he talk about the bush thing?

[Scott Aukerman]

He did. We may have cut it out. I can't recall if our editing machine is broken or not, but, yeah, he's a strange guy about it. But how did Nick get involved in this? Because I watched the show and I'm like, oh, this is Nick Kroll. And then he's nowhere to be found.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm like. And then suddenly his name pops up. I'm like, you're not in this. You're a liar. And then it just says above his name, it says, produced by. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Tell us about this.

[Death]

Yeah, I know. It's so confusing. He would just kind of stand off set. We actually didn't know why he was there. He. He said he was helping, but then he would always be knocking on our trailers during weird times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a helper monkey or something.

[Death]

Yeah. It was like he was there to help, but then he would just stare. It was super weird. And then again, he had that whole thing where he was kind of adjudicating the whole Bush ordeal. And, yeah, he. I just feel like his personal bias really got in the way of that strange guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You see that movie the Help?

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

They make a shit pie in that. What do you think of that?

[Death]

I think I'd love a slice.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's.

[Death]

I mean, it looked delish.

[Scott Aukerman]

It looks really good.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The idea of it is disgusting, but I'll be damned if I didn't watch that movie going like, yeah, well, adults is on FX now. People can watch it.

[Death]

Should I give, like, an actual description? I feel like every time I think we did it. Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we do need to get to our next guest, but Amitha Rao is here and it's exciting to have a TV show. These are the great years of your life.

[Death]

Thank you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, when you don't have a TV show anymore, you kind of are just mentally ticking down the clock until death is what I found.

[Death]

Yeah. Yeah, totally. How's it been in the last few years?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not great. All right, let's get to our next guest. He is. I hyped this up. He is an eccentric multimillionaire. Please welcome to the show for the first time, H.M. rosemont.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Hello, Scott. Thank you so much for having me.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a classy voice you have, sir.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Thank you so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. This is Amitha.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Ah, Amita. How are you?

[Death]

Hi, H.S. morton.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I. Hm. Hm.

[H.M. Rosemont]

So sorry, H.S.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here'S how you remember it. You go him. Oh, let's take out the eye.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Oh, interesting.

[Death]

What's his last name?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Rosemont.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or you think of the HMS Pinafore and you say, like, I'm gonna take off. S. Pinafore for.

[Death]

Oh, yes. That's actually more helpful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. Okay, great.

[H.M. Rosemont]

These are great mnemonics. One of the most awkward words one can say.

[Scott Aukerman]

You keep pointing up as you talk in very classy ways.

[Death]

Very classy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Oh, you don't know it as a. Pardon me for saying it, low class piece of. But when you are refined, you learn to point up an index finger up to indicate. Ah, I have a point.

[Death]

Oh, wow. I'm gonna steal that.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And when you drink. When coffee or tea. Pinky up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pinky up.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Pinky up. A lot of classes pointing up.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of people do. Pinky down. I'm like, you piece of.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That is a giveaway. A giveaway of poor breeding, poor education.

[Scott Aukerman]

So tell us, HM Rosemont, now you're a multi millionaire, which is great because, like, only having one of those millions.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It'S not very many. You need multi before you're really in play now.

[Scott Aukerman]

But here's what's interesting, because these days, anyone can be a multi millionaire, honestly, just like, go on Big Brother, win that, and, like, segue into the Amazing Race. They love casting Big Brother or Survivor people on that. So it's just like, okay, win Survivor and then win the Amazing Race. Right. In a row.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Not quite as invested in this world.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two years. That's 2 million right there.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I guess that's not so easy to do, what you're saying. But, yes, I suppose it's more commonplace than it used to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

I look at those shows and I go like, why are you even on if you're not gonna win it? You know what I mean?

[Amitha Rao]

I.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Let me get this straight. You are disdaining them if they're intending to not win or something like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

The fact that they are on and they don't win, it's like, just go on and win.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Death]

It's embarrassing. They just fall, fall, fall, fall.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes. I don't know if it's as worthy as disdain.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're a reality TV lover. It sounds like I'm in deep.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I, I love it. I, I, I, I have empathy to everyone on reality shows. I find they're all 100% good people.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're an empathetic guy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'd like to think so. Yes. I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love that. I think we need more empathy in the world.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Me too.

[Death]

There's not enough more empathetic millionaires.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. But here's what I wanted to.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And I'm sorry to jump in multi millionaire just to separate me, but yes. Thank you for the compliment.

[Death]

No, and thank you for the clarification.

[Scott Aukerman]

But, but I. You, you asked to be described as an eccentric multimillionaire. What is your eccentricity of note?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I think I'm fun. Okay, so let's start right there. All right, so I think, you know, you know, I'm not coming in being a cliche multimillionaire. I have. And, Scott, I think you're gonna like this. A mansion of puzzles.

[Scott Aukerman]

A mansion of puzzles.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I destroyed my family mansion and reconstructed a mansion comprised of puzzles, meaning the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Actual construction is comprised of puzzles. Or. Or you have a mansion that's a normal, like, McMansion thing that has a lot of puzzles in it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Not gonna do a mc. Okay, this is a gothic Tudor stone. This is a classy affair. All right, so let's cut. Let's nip that in the bud. Let's nip that right in the bud.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now you held two fingers up like you're doing something different.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Scissors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay. No, and now I see which. Oh, I don't have the exciting sex life of a podcaster where that would.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come to my mind.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Puzzles.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, like, so, like what the doors fit into the square that the doors usually fit into.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, yes, there's some jigsaw puzzle. And there are, because every house is.

[Scott Aukerman]

A puzzle in that regard, wouldn't you agree? Hm.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Point you, sir Akerman. But no, there are more than just jigsaw puzzles in my mansion. There are different varieties of puzzle. Word puzzles, logic hedge mazes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hedge mazes inside the mansion?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That must get very messy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's a bad idea that I have to stick with. With. But in the basement, there are moldy hedge mazes in need of trimming and navigating. Okay, I'll get on it. Good heavens.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, this is an easily fixable.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Well, I wasn't saying it was. I wasn't coming to you.

[Amitha Rao]

Gosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you know what? You know what? I, I, I, I apologize because you're just venting and I am a typical male trying to fix your problem rather than just listening.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You know what? I want to thank you for hearing me.

[Death]

I, I have a question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Oh, yes.

[Death]

Hi, Rosemont. Thank you, Mr. Rosemont.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Death]

Sorry I keep calling this up. I'm just not used to.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You're doing great.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a little nervous. I mean, this is a multimillionaire.

[Death]

I know. And I'm not used to talking to multimillionaires for not paying me for something. So I just wanted to ask, like, the word logic puzzles. Like, what do you. How is the house constructed?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. So glad you asked. Every room. To proceed to the next room, one must solve the puzzle of that room.

[Death]

Oh, my God.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Or you can proceed.

[Death]

Has anyone ever died in a room not being able to proceed?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, I'm not really legally supposed to.

[Death]

Come on, Rosemont.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes, a bunch. A bunch have died.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, a lot of people have died. Can I ask an even more pressing question that's on my mind?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is the bathroom one of the last rooms you can get to?

[H.M. Rosemont]

The bathroom's about halfway through.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God.

[H.M. Rosemont]

So if you show up at my place needing to pee pee or poo poo, you better be good at puzzles or you're gonna be out in the yard that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Out in the yard.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I mean, you know, you're in the foyer. There's a, There's a puzzle right in the foyer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have a toilet out in the yard or.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, but I'm just like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

This must come up all the time.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It does. And people just. I'm like, hey, just have an outhouse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Out there or something. No, no.

[H.M. Rosemont]

If I build an outhouse, I'll have a puzzle outside that outhouse. Probably a moon.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you prefer people just shit in broad daylight in the open air?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I prefer it, but I prefer. Well, I prefer that to breaking the integrity of the puzzle rule.

[Death]

To be honest, Mr. Rosemont, it seems like you have quite a derogatory. You perceive this.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Have you been lying up until now, I mean.

[Death]

Yes.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why would you say to be honest?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you untrustworthy in some regard?

[Death]

Well, I would say that I do have a history of being a pathological liar.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Death]

And that is true. But I wanted you guys to know, right now, I'm being honest. Okay? But I was just. Because it's an appraisal of you, so it has nothing to do with my history or past. So no need to lie.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You don't need to gain anything here. You can just shit on me freely.

[Death]

100%. It seems like you have a pretty. Pretty derogatory opinion of those who can't solve puzzles. It seems like you think they're worse than dogs. Is that true?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. I wasn't gonna make an animal comparison, but, yeah, I guess I'd put them worse than.

[Death]

So you're hitting in the yard.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Dogs are pretty low. Yes, but not as bad as.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's rank these.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Humans who can solve puzzles are high.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's rank these five things. Humans who can solve puzzles.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Humans who can't solve puzzles.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, that's lower.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dogs higher.

[H.M. Rosemont]

In between those two millionaires, Regular. Just one star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just regular millionaires. And then podcasters.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. Okay. Podcasters we know, right at the bottom, top. People who can solve puzzles. Then I guess I'm gonna say regular millionaires, then dogs, then people who can't solve puzzles, and then podcasters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then podcasters. Okay, that's pretty fair.

[Death]

Yeah, I would say that's good. But, man, people who can't solve puzzles just are with podcasters.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Well, I find that people who can't solve puzzles tend to be mentally undisciplined, lazy, boring, bored, and boring.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what got you so interested in. In puzzles? And what are the types of puzzles you normally like?

[H.M. Rosemont]

And then I like all types of puzzles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But I have one I brought for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Oh, I love this example. Is this one of the puzzles that's at your house?

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, this was a proposed puzzle that was very, very good, but we didn't need it, so it's sort of a delusion.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's on the discard pile.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's right. It's on the discard pile. But it's a good example of what we try to do at the Rosemont mansion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amita, are you good at puzzles?

[Death]

I'm. I'm very good at puzzles.

[Scott Aukerman]

What kind of puzzles do you do every day?

[Death]

That was a lie. I am not good at puzzles. But I do enjoy them. I hope that doesn't change your opinion.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean? You enjoy them, but you're not good at them.

[Death]

I like to look at them. I like to look at them.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you pass by like you'll pass by a puzzle.

[Death]

Don't put a puzzle near me. I'll stop and stare.

[Scott Aukerman]

I will stop, give it a cursory glance, move on after.

[Death]

I wish. I wish it was cursory.

[Scott Aukerman]

60 seconds. 120.

[Death]

I can't move on. I love them.

[Scott Aukerman]

You love them. So you just stand there wrapped in a tent.

[Death]

If a car. A car would hit me.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Quite a pickle. Because you enjoy them, but I'm getting from your vibe that you don't care about solving them.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're a vibes guy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Big time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Death]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Was there a vibe shift here in the room at all?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I did. I detected a slight.

[Death]

I felt it. When I said I wasn't good at puzzles, the vibe completely, completely changed.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I mean, yes, I think that was. Yes, there was a vibe. And I am a vibes guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hm. What is this puzzle?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

Sorry.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You're looking at the clock. Here we go. Ready? The turtles are all dancing together once more. Lots of shapes being traced on the floor. One shape in particular makes them cause such a scene. Maybe we need to chill about AI.

[Death]

That was a haiku.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's a poem.

[Death]

Oh, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a poem that had an AABC rhyme scheme, which I think is very interesting.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes, The AABC rhyme scheme. Underused.

[Death]

Yeah, Definitely underused.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The turtles are out dancing.

[Death]

Wait, was there an answer?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think there's a question.

[Death]

Yeah, there was no question posed in the.

[Amitha Rao]

This.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, so here's how it would work. You come into the foyer. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

This poem sort of carved.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you allowed in the house without solving a piece?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Anybody can go in the foyer.

[Death]

Oh, help. Wonderful.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Just open.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wait, anyone at all?

[H.M. Rosemont]

You could. Anyone. It's open right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's open to the public?

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's correct. Okay, but then every subsequent.

[Scott Aukerman]

So why wouldn't I just. In the foyer?

[Death]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Don't do that. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, don't do that. Tell the guy who's blocking I'm giving you the yard.

[Death]

Giving us the yard?

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, it's wonderful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tended like a dog.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Something that's almost as bad as a podcaster.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Aren't you a podcaster? I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I was. I was a screenwriter first, and he was on tv. Yeah, I had a TV show.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. All right. Well, nonetheless, even.

[Scott Aukerman]

Even bad now.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Sure, you'll get it going again. You'll get it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I doubt that. I think any heat, any residual buzz I had is long since dissipated.

[H.M. Rosemont]

In any case, I think it'll come around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But no, you're welcome to in the yard, and I think that's quite generous. Just don't shit in the foyer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Back to your puzzle.

[Death]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I didn't think it was going anywhere, but listen, in the wood you come in, there's a big plank of wood in the room. And this would be carved into it. And you have to look around the room and using that poem, figure out how to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, we're not in the room, so how are we supposed to solve this?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, well, I'll describe the room to you. Okay, you're in the foyer. All right? There's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've just taken a shit in the corner.

[H.M. Rosemont]

If that really happened, then we're not gonna solve the problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does that play into the puzzle at all? My human shit.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Get my butler to come clean up your human shit and reset the puzzle.

[Death]

With the smell. I can't. I can't focus on the puzzle.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Don't forget, forget, no one shitting. Trust me. If you were in the foyer and you had to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're saying come having had.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes, come having shit. Be ready or be real good at puzzles. Because there's a bathroom, like six rooms in six rooms.

[Death]

That's too many.

[Scott Aukerman]

Too many.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, it's not too many.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, describe the room.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's not enough. So it's a marble room.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Classic. You said it was a stone outside.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The. The most of the building is stone.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a Tudor.

[Death]

I thought the building was made of puzzles. Puzzle.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, look, this isn't hard, all right? It's a. The style of mansion is a Gothic, Tudor, stone mansion. But the room.

[Scott Aukerman]

But the stones are fit together like a puzzle.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I mean, just only in the way that every building with stones is sort of like a puzzle together. But are there any brick wall is a puzzle?

[Scott Aukerman]

Any holes in it, like, oh, I lost a piece or anything like that?

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, it's. There's solid. Well, there's some false walls on the outside that are by design.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But other than that note, I'll just sit.

[Scott Aukerman]

What else is in this room?

[Death]

The foyer and the.

[H.M. Rosemont]

There's no. There's a round pedestal with six coins, two keys and a gem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six what?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Coins. Okay, two keys and a gem and a gem. Six around. It's. Look, six coins.

[Scott Aukerman]

I forget it every time.

[H.M. Rosemont]

One, six coins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. What types of coins?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Gold doubloons.

[Death]

The answer is the key.

[Amitha Rao]

Huh?

[Death]

I'm sorry. Move on. Move on.

[Amitha Rao]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amethyst took a stab at it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The answer is the key.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, how many guesses are we allowed, by the way?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Infinite guesses.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just infinite and infinite guess. You just can't move on until you.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Just can't move on.

[Scott Aukerman]

The answer is the key. Why not?

[H.M. Rosemont]

The answer is the key. The answer is.

[Scott Aukerman]

The answer is one.

[Death]

Is that correct?

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's called a red herring. The poem has nothing to do with the solution of the first room.

[Death]

And the answer was the key.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You take the key, and the key opens any of the three doors.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a genius.

[Death]

I am good at puz. Lying before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Death]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are the coins? Can I keep them?

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, they're. Well, they're fake. They're gold facsimiles of gold doubloons.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they chocolate?

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, they're just sort of tin. Gold plated, sort of. Just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I have them, though?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah, yeah, you could have them.

[Death]

Oh, great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Do you have any more?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Well, in this hypothetical example, no. There's just six in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but on me right now. Yeah. No, in your house or.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah, there's a bunch. There's a bunch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have, like, a swimming pool filled with gold?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I don't do the Uncle Scrooge thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Uncle Scrooge? Scrooge McDuck. He might be an uncle, though. You're right.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'm pretty sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, it's not how I would. I'm describing if. If I wanted people to know who I was talking about. Like, I think the duck part of it is very important to his whole thing, his whole vibe. And you're a vibe guy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I am a vibe guy. Look, no disrespect meant to Scrooge.

[Scott Aukerman]

If I were to say, hey, Uncle Scrooge is coming by.

[Death]

Different vibe. Different vibe.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, who would you think I'm talking about?

[Death]

I would think Uncle Scrooge is, like, just finished his little roller skating class and is coming by to give us some cake. Take.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. Anyone would feel that Way.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Look, I'm friends with Scrooge McDuck, and the guy says uncle all the time, so I'm not disrespectful.

[Scott Aukerman]

He calls himself.

[Death]

That's weird.

[H.M. Rosemont]

He says, hello, I'm Uncle Scrooge.

[Death]

That's weird.

[Scott Aukerman]

Weird duck.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I think it is weird, but I. I call people by what they want to be called.

[Death]

I don't think he has a nephew. That's weird.

[H.M. Rosemont]

He does have nephews. It doesn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Donald. Don. Donald's not a nephew.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Oh, wait, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Donald.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Uncle of Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

[Scott Aukerman]

So who is. Who is Scrooge McDuck to Donald?

[H.M. Rosemont]

He's everybody's uncle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Uncle Weird.

[Death]

Sketchy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone were to introduce themselves as. I'm everybody's uncle.

[Death]

That's the guy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That does sound.

[Scott Aukerman]

Immediately. Arrest them. Citizens.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Arrest citizens.

[Scott Aukerman]

Down to the precinct.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I have coins. Facsimiles of gold doubloons scattered everywhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The six.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they're not worth anything.

[H.M. Rosemont]

They're not? No, they're not.

[Scott Aukerman]

So why have them?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Because they're tokens, which you need to solve puzzles later.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so they're like. Like you can put them in a slot.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You can insert them into certain machines.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, they take all the coins.

[Death]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

And the keys.

[Death]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the shit.

[Death]

Wait, so if Scott has the coins and the keys, he can give it to me? In the hypothetical.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes, we're allowed to share. You're working together as a team. Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes.

[Death]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Should we come in together as a team?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'm gonna say yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just anyone who enters. Is it automatically a team? Because I.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's up to them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Solo rogue.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You guys have to choose whether to work together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't know.

[Death]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did get that key thing.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You solved the problem.

[Death]

I feel like I would be a good fit for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but am I a good fit for you?

[Death]

I mean, I feel like, do we.

[Scott Aukerman]

Need another white man solving puzzles?

[Death]

I mean, I think I do. I think I do.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I think the.

[Scott Aukerman]

The puzzle spheres were constructed by white men mainly. So I think that. I think that my point of view is. Is necessary and important.

[Death]

No, I think, like, you're going to be able to unlock it. I think puzzles, like.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I mean, you were the one who solved the first one.

[Death]

Yeah, I mean, but who am I? Just a brown woman.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. Not my words or my thoughts.

[Death]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Certainly something that I don't agree with.

[Death]

No, no, guys, you. Can you say it. Say it. Say what you think about my Race and gender.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's not what I say it and that's not what. How about another puzzle?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, one more puzzle. We're coming up on a break.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Quick. I again. I get your meaning. I'll hurry it right up. So you go. Which door do you go? Left. Straight or right?

[Death]

What do you think?

[Scott Aukerman]

Lady's choice.

[Death]

Scott. I think we should go left.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, left.

[Amitha Rao]

Left.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And left is.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. Right.

[Death]

Oh, okay. Let's go right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Use that.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You real going right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, we're going right.

[Death]

I think his mind's clear. He just took a.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, right is the pool room. There's a swimming pool.

[Death]

Can I swim in the coins?

[H.M. Rosemont]

There's no coins. It's water.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you have a different pool filled with coins.

[H.M. Rosemont]

There's no pool filled with. At no pool point will you come across a pool filled with coins.

[Death]

Why you say that earlier? Yeah, what the hell?

[H.M. Rosemont]

You said that earlier and I did not. It is a regular pool.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know why it was ever even brought up. You're not going to eventually have a coin filled pool.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You know what? I don't know why either. I don't know why either.

[Death]

I wouldn't have come into the house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, we're coming up on a break. Can we get to this puzzle?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Here's the puzzle. The piglets are snorting and making a quilt. So many bright colors it takes to get such a thing built.

[Death]

Can you go back?

[H.M. Rosemont]

The piglets are snorting and making a quilt. So many bright colors it takes to get such a thing built. There's red and there's green and there's yellow and blue. Which color is the one that will make this get through?

[Death]

Ooh, I didn't think that one was gonna rhyme at the end.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wow. That's a different.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Totally different aabb rhymes.

[Death]

Yeah, I now used what?

[Amitha Rao]

What?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Let's be cool. But it's a classic.

[Scott Aukerman]

What were the colors he mentioned?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Because green and yellow and blue.

[Scott Aukerman]

Red, green, yellow, blue.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, so in the room around the pool are some swim trunks, stack of towels.

[Death]

What color are the swim trunks?

[H.M. Rosemont]

The white with blue trim and sort.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of like a sailor vibe.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Like a bit of a sailor vibe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, like an Uncle Donald Duck, I guess.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It is something that Donald Duck would wear.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's not.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're like a duck guy?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Not. Look, I wasn't thinking about the ducks.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're like. You have some sort of weird duck fetish?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Not at all.

[Death]

Your vi is duck fetish, huh?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Not at all. I'm I'm Doug. I'm Doug.

[Scott Aukerman]

I noticed you don't have any pants. Just like Donald Duck.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's right. I'm not wearing pants. But that's a multi millionaire thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so. So when I. When I introduce you as eccentric multimillionaire, it's because you're not wearing pants?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I. No, I'm an eccentric multi millionaire because I'm a fun guy who breaks cliches. Not wearing pants is cuz I don't believe in convention dimension. In the pool room are seven coins, four keys, two gems. Okay, seven coins.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have a lot of coins. We're lousy with coins.

[Death]

We have so many coins. And we can trade them, we can do anything we want with them.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what though? And. And are there doors?

[H.M. Rosemont]

There's two doors.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think we just use the keys and unlock one of these doors. Right?

[Death]

Yeah, that works.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The keys open the door.

[Death]

Just.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Right, just. We start you out with a couple red herrings.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I just say. Hm, it sounds like all of your puzzles, the solution are just take the key and open the door.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, just so far. Just so far. So far there's people who've died in my mansion.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many. How many rooms are in this mansion?

[H.M. Rosemont]

45.

[Death]

Oh my.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how many of these puzzles? The answer is opening the door with a key.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Now I'll tell you, but you sure you want to have this ruined? Because if you have ever come by.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'Ll give a spoiler alert. Hey, spoiler alert everyone.

[Death]

To Anyone going to HM's mansion, here's a spoiler alert.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Out of the 45 rooms, 44 are opened just by the keys in the room.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what's the. What about the 45th?

[H.M. Rosemont]

That is a. You gotta punch your way out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like through. Through what?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Punch the door down with your fist. Punch through stone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has anyone been able to do that?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Not yet.

[Death]

Oh, so that's where they're dead.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. But they've. Everyone else has figured out the key thing.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The key thing people figure out pretty quick and they kind of rocket right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Through most of the rooms and then everyone just dies on the punch your way out one.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's right. Because this is a death trap for them, you know, not for everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

For anyone who's ever entered.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Anybody who.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said no one has ever punched their way out.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, but not everybody.

[Amitha Rao]

A lot of people get.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many corpses are in this. This room? That many people are punch their way out of? Not that many to you.

[Death]

Oh my God.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Seven's not that many.

[Death]

Jesus Christ.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh yeah. Tell that to Kevin Spacy and Brad Pitt and, and, and, and Morgan Freeman.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Human from the movie seven.

[Death]

Did you get that reference after you said it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hm. You're a weird guy. But hey, you came on. You said you were an eccentric multi millionaire. I gotta give it to you. We need to take a break though.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

When we come back, we're gonna have a being and we also have a substitute teacher on the show. This is an exciting show.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Kind of seems like descending orders of weirdness just from the billing.

[Death]

I thought you were gonna say descending order of value because you valued substitute teachers less.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Podcast restarted.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah. How good is the substitute teacher of puzzles? I guess we'll have to find.

[Scott Aukerman]

I will find out, but we're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have more Amitha Rao. We're going to have more HM Rosemont, plus a being and a substitute teacher. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Here's what it is. You create a stunning online presence with Squarespace where you can easily showcase your services. Whether it's, I don't know, consultations, maybe events, experiences, all on a fully customizable website. Just enjoy yourself customizing this thing. You're gonna love it. It attracts clients and it helps grow your business. Squarespace's cutting edge design tool make it simple for anyone to build a bespoke website that aligns perfectly with their brand. Here's how you start. You start with blueprint AI. Their AI. AI. AI AI powered website builder. And create a fully personalized site in just a few steps. Oh, this sounds so futuristic and exciting. Squarespace also helps streamline your entire workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing and professional invoicing. Plus get paid on time with branded invoices and seamless online payments. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. We have Amitha Rao from Adults, which happens to be on the Effects Channel.

[Death]

Effects.

[Scott Aukerman]

Effects. Yes. Yeah, yeah, that's what I said, right?

[Death]

You said it right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, like special effects. Like CGI in Jurassic Park. Yeah, the dinosaurs. Anytime you see a dinosaur on screen, that's a special effect. Yeah, otherwise there'd be dinosaurs in every movie and people would just call dinosaurs an effect.

[Death]

Yeah, no, but dinosaurs are a very special effect. We actually have a couple of those in the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you really?

[Death]

We're mixing a lot of genres. We're doing like young adult dinosaur horror.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are these the dinosaurs from the TV show Dinosaurs? You know, not the mama. I don't know if this is one of your.

[H.M. Rosemont]

There's absolutely no way she's going to know this.

[Death]

Yeah, this is TV show from the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Late 30s, so you have to be late 30s to know this. Interesting.

[Death]

We have a couple of those guys on there. Yeah, we do.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the show is out now and people can check it out on the Effects channel or on the Effects app. Is all the cursing in the show? Look, I don't want to brag that. I got a holly weird screen. Do they bleep it out when it's on TV or does 100 of it get in?

[Death]

They bleep out and. But they let me keep in cunt. And they also Interesting. Yeah, yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Some British censors.

[Death]

Super British. Super British. All the producers are British.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah, right. Because cunting, I think in, in Britain you can say cunt just like any which way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think, I think they say it in like Disney movies.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah, you can cunt your way on down to the super cunted.

[Death]

No, no. And that's the kind of, of like. That's exactly what every line sounds like, to be honest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can we stop saying cunt?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'm so sorry. Yes.

[Death]

Oh, do you have to censor that on this?

[H.M. Rosemont]

My apologies.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I mean, we're out of bleeps, so. We've been out of bleeps for the last eight years, I believe.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But I apologize for my profane link.

[Death]

And I apologize for my cunt.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Pastor Pasta was gonna. Each one is $50,000. She like, bleeped out a few on her last appearance, but unfortunately we don't have that kind of a budget. Shame. But we do need to get to our next guest. I mentioned we have a being on the show.

[Death]

Oh, God, I'm so excited to.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is very exciting because this is one ones. When you, when you're talking beings.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know that song, if you're talking body.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, just substitute body for beings and then suddenly you get what I'm talking about. Because if you're talking beings, this is one of the biggies.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I can't wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have. And please welcome them to the show. Death is on the show.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Incredible.

[Amitha Rao]

Hi. Hello. Hi. Hi.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

So nice to meet you.

[Amitha Rao]

Nice to see you.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You've been sitting here for a while, just hanging. So sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

So nice to meet you. I, I, I'd hoped not to meet you quite so soon, if you know what I mean.

[Amitha Rao]

But you haven't had a TV show for a little while, so what are we doing here? Yeah, hey, unfortunately, I do have to kill someone at the table today. That is why I'm here. I know, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, I just thought that you were on the show to promote what you have going on.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, well, I mean, what I have going on is that I do kill people. That's what I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but I mean, you don't want to just do this for exposure or anything. Do you have to work while you're.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, well, I mean, look, the thing is, I'm eventually going to kill someone. Just letting you know right now, don't touch right now. You will die. Hm.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Touch you. Okay. I was reaching in for the hug, for the little half hug.

[Amitha Rao]

Because we know each other. I'm at the, I'm at the mansion a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys are about to do. Yeah, the seven people.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys were about to do a bro hug.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah, I was going in for the.

[Amitha Rao]

Bro hug to bro hug it out.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're doing like a sort of a over the top clasping of hands.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Over the top clasping. Minimal contact and shoulder area patting of the back. Little grunt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But thank God you didn't make it.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah. No. We're also not that good of friends. Like me and my friends, we call you the Stinky. Yeah, the stinky house guy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

Everyone's shitting in there. Everyone shitting in the garden.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Stinky house.

[Amitha Rao]

Stinky house guy, too.

[Death]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The shit doesn't stay around that long. Okay. We clean that up pretty fast.

[Scott Aukerman]

But why doesn't the butler clean the corpses?

[H.M. Rosemont]

He's not. He won't be able to punch his way out.

[Amitha Rao]

He gets stuck.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

So, yeah, I do, unfortunately, do need to kill someone by the end of this.

[Scott Aukerman]

But do you know who you're.

[Amitha Rao]

I do. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's predetermined.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So we have no free will.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. It's basically kind of like I wake up every day and there's, like, a name in front of my eyeball. Eyeballs. You know? And I just. I. I can't. It doesn't go away until I touch that person. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, wait, this is like Goo Goo Glasses.

[Amitha Rao]

That's the exact analogy we use, is Goo Goo Glasses, go glasses. Yeah. Goo Glasses is exactly the analogy we use. That song you said when you brought me on. That's the song analogy we use as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you're talking body.

[Amitha Rao]

That's right. Yes, exactly. Those are the ones. Gosh.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Can I make an observation?

[Amitha Rao]

Please? Please. Sure.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You seem so. Dare I say, chill?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. You have a chill vibe.

[Amitha Rao]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, JM is a. Or hm, Rather. Sorry.

[Death]

Oh, God, now the vibe's gonna shift again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, No, I was thinking. Sorry, I was thinking of my favorite jm. Of course. Jersey Mike's.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's a great one.

[Amitha Rao]

Get it? The Jam.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's rank our JMS above Jason Manzoukas.

[H.M. Rosemont]

J.M. deMattis, the comic book writer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are the only three I can think of.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

Well, yeah, I'm pretty sure. Hi. I'm chill. Cause, you know, I think humans have, like. Y' all are really caught up in that. Death is bad, you know?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I have to admit what I think.

[Amitha Rao]

To me, not that it's anyone who's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ever died that I've been close to. I wished it hadn't happened.

[Amitha Rao]

Fair. That's fair. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Amitha Rao]

But it's what I do, Right? So it's kind of like if you. You might think, like, oh, garbage is stinky. But if you're touching garbage all day.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

Then it's just kind of what you do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Death]

Yeah. You get Adjusted to it.

[Amitha Rao]

Right. And also, I'm trying to. Hey, sometimes, like this one. I got to kill one of you today. Right. But this is fun. I'll hang for a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's see what's up.

[Amitha Rao]

Let's see how life is.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I gotta be honest, I thought some bad things about you and your profession in the past. I'm just gonna come clean with that.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I. You know, you're a. You're a bummer when you enter someone's situation.

[Scott Aukerman]

The way you dress. I mean, the most charitable characterization is it's kind of emo and goth, but.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, well, see, interesting, because I look. I appear to different people on what they want to see when at the end of their life.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes. You're seeing emo in goth, and I'm see third wave ska.

[Amitha Rao]

Right. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Ametha, what musical genre are you seeing?

[Death]

I'm seeing a fun little hip hop girl.

[Amitha Rao]

There you go.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Wow.

[Amitha Rao]

That's how it is. Right?

[Death]

See, and I think that's reflective of also. I just want to say, apart from them, I am a huge fan of you. I love what you did with my grandma. It was so amazing.

[Amitha Rao]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's people in the world that I kind of would love for you to go visit.

[Death]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

After this, you know. Can I give you names in your goo goo glasses?

[Amitha Rao]

I wish it would. We kind of work on the Nick Kroll bigot Bush method.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Amitha Rao]

So it's pretty much based on that.

[Death]

Oh. Oh, great.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Death]

Oh, so great.

[Amitha Rao]

So you're feeling confident?

[Death]

I'm feeling super confident. I have to talk to you after this.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay, great.

[Death]

I have a couple people myself that I think. I mean, I just. I really think you change a room like, I think you. I think you've changed my life, to be honest.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Death]

Sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Our lives are never the same after.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Our loved ones encounter you.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah. And also, I should say, I think hell has a little bit of a bad rap here on Earth. It's not torture. I think people think hell is torture.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And also, it's not the only place you can go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Sorry, I have to ask. Whoever you're killing today is going to hell?

[Amitha Rao]

Well, maybe not. I mean, looking at you, three chances are yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Amitha Rao]

Pretty two thirds. That's a podcaster and a man who murders people in his.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I don't murder people. They are free to escape if they're strong enough.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay. I guess just making long, annoying puzzles where you could just grab the key anyway feels like a waste of time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm A former TV star.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amiva here is a current TV star.

[Amitha Rao]

Well, that's why I didn't mention her. You noticed that.

[Death]

Okay, yeah, I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

But, I mean, we in Hollywood are kind of a godless bunch, right?

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, no, I only mention hell because I feel like you guys are hung up on it, because I feel like everyone's fine to go to heaven, which is great. Heaven's great. But hell isn't bad either. Hell is kind of like. It's like it's hard to put your jacket. The zipper on, you know, that's it. It's like a lot of those.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mildly annoying.

[Amitha Rao]

Exactly. Yeah, it's a lot of those.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Although sometimes if I can't zip a jacket, it does e at me, and I have trouble thinking of other things while my jacket can't get zipped. And it can ruin a party.

[Amitha Rao]

But, yeah, you'll eventually get it on. You know, it'll. It'll work.

[Death]

Oh, you can get it on at hell.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or, like, isn't it hot, though? Why are you trying to put on a jacket?

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, well, that's. It's a little hot. Right. But sometimes you're in your AC and you step outside, you're not sure what the temperature is, and so you're like, maybe I'll try a jacket. And you put on your bed.

[Scott Aukerman]

So there's AC in hell?

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, yeah, yeah, there's. I mean, you can take a vacation in hell, and you're like, oh, my God.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Did hell get on the same time that earth did? Like, was that a technology?

[Amitha Rao]

Hell had it first, actually. They had a lot of things.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about outhouses?

[Amitha Rao]

No, no, that was. Started here. And then we were like, that's a good idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Indoor plumbing was originally on earth.

[Amitha Rao]

That's right. And we said, let's do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wait, do you hang out in hell a lot?

[Amitha Rao]

Sure, yeah. I'll go down there. I don't mind. You know, again, another thing that might happen in hell is, like, you. You have a good first date, and then you try to schedule a second one, and your schedules just aren't matching up, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

And so, like, all the momentum is.

[Amitha Rao]

Lost, and then it's gotta be a couple weeks, and then it eventually just kind of like, falls apart.

[Death]

The thing that eats at you over time. But not too bad.

[Amitha Rao]

Not too bad.

[Death]

Honestly, it sounds fun.

[Amitha Rao]

It's not bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't dated in so long. It sounds kind of fun.

[Death]

Yeah, you're down there.

[Amitha Rao]

Exactly. That's. That's exactly it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Maybe I have a rich and varied. Love life have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have dates changed in the past 26 years.

[Amitha Rao]

Exactly the same. They're the exact same.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, cool. Yeah, figured.

[Amitha Rao]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

All of this is covered on adults, on fx.

[Amitha Rao]

Yes, that's right.

[Death]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Death]

We are covering. We are covering dating. We are covering hell. We have a whole episode where we go there, but it was a different depiction.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, my God.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[Death]

I think it's not very much in your image. You might feel a little offended by some of the stereotypes.

[Amitha Rao]

No.

[Death]

Um, but I mean, it's some representation, am I right?

[Amitha Rao]

Because that's actually.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, are you. Are you Satan?

[Amitha Rao]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you confused about the fact that you might be Satan?

[Amitha Rao]

Well, just sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes people with death and Satan is the same person. Right.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I've never thought that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No one's ever thought the death is like a grim reaper kind of a bummer sort of Christmas future sort of ghost.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a skeletony kind of guy with a bony finger. And then Satan's like a red guy with a pitchfork poking people in the butt.

[Amitha Rao]

Right.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Mischievous.

[Amitha Rao]

I get that.

[Death]

We.

[Amitha Rao]

And we do have one of those guys. We do have one of those skeletons. Yeah. There's four of us that work the job.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's four deaths.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, there's four of us.

[Death]

That's a good color.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you split up the territory? Is it like. Like, I worked at one restaurant, Olive Garden.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

In Glendale, where we had one table that was outside on the patio, one in the back room, and then two in different sections of the restaurant. That was our section. It was like, how do you get. Get to. You know, like. I like. You want all your tables close together?

[Amitha Rao]

Sure. Yeah. This is the complaint from when you worked at Olive Garden 30 years ago or something?

[Scott Aukerman]

30, 59.

[Death]

Oh, yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

But yeah. So it's the same way. I assume a manager assigned you that section.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. It's a similar North America.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah. I'll go everywhere. Yeah, I'll go. I mean, because I'm on, like, a celestial.

[Scott Aukerman]

What I'm asking is, do you cover North America? Not. Yeah, yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

So I'll go. I mean, I don't mind if I'm here. I don't mind if I'm there.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want to tell us.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You don't want to tell us.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not why I'm asking.

[Amitha Rao]

Well, I guess maybe maps to you might not mean the same thing to me, you know? So, like, North America to you might mean something that.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Or is it the type of per. Do you only deal with hot people?

[Amitha Rao]

No, as I can tell from the people in this room. I'm about to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Excuse me.

[Amitha Rao]

Ow.

[Death]

Excuse me.

[Amitha Rao]

What? Okay. Hey, you're safe. You're already safe.

[Death]

Oh, thank you.

[Amitha Rao]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so Amethyst's safe? So it's one of us.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah. Amethyst safe.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Look, I know who it's gonna be. None of my characters ever come back, so I already know I'm going to have.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't die. This show has to reach at least 20 years.

[Amitha Rao]

Well, look, there is. There is one way when I. When I go to. To murder someone at the end of the thing.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Right.

[Amitha Rao]

If the person has lots of money.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Amitha Rao]

Or has ever been in People magazine, then they can challenge me. They can do one challenge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so Mia Farrow, who is, of course, on the COVID of the first issue of People magazine.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Except Everybody knows.

[Amitha Rao]

Every 29 year old knows that.

[Scott Aukerman]

She be able to challenge you.

[Amitha Rao]

She could challenge me, but if they know the rule. I don't. I don't tell everyone this. I'm on a podcast.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Who else? Mark Cover of People. Famously Sexiest Men Alive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Amitha Rao]

Honestly, don't even.

[Scott Aukerman]

Clooney. I would imagine you don't even have.

[Amitha Rao]

To be on the COVID if you've just been in the pages. Oh, yeah.

[Death]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

So stars are just like.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if, like, you're in an ad for hemorrhoid cream?

[Amitha Rao]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

In People magazine.

[Amitha Rao]

If you know to challenge me, you can challenge me to one thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah. Happened to Johnny Depp. I was supposed to touch him a long time ago. Challenged me to a fish off.

[Death]

Oh, you get to pick. What?

[Amitha Rao]

The challenge. They get to pick.

[Death]

Oh, well, that's a lot of power.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard about these.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, that's right. And he jumped in the water and looked exactly like a fish.

[Death]

Wow.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Well, I didn't expect that's what the competition was. So it's not catching fish.

[Amitha Rao]

Hey, that was a Johnny Depp original portraying a fish. He nailed it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And the actor, of course, is gonna.

[Death]

I mean, he is amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a chameleon.

[Death]

He really, really stinks into the role.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I love him. Everything about him. Listening, Listen, I have a lot of money.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Death]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And so if you're coming for me, I just want you to know that I will challenge you.

[Amitha Rao]

Great. Okay. Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And it's gonna be puzzles.

[Amitha Rao]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I'm a podcaster, so you know my finances, so I guess. And I've never been in People magazine.

[Amitha Rao]

Not even a. Not even a birth announcement or they're dating or. Look who's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think There was a birth announcement when I was born in People magazine.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That would have been something. Oh, interesting. 1996.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay. Yeah, that was a big year for people. They were. They were shouting at everyone back then.

[Death]

I didn't say anything about you. Yeah. And we don't know about my second season, so.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So it sounds to me like I'm hoping that HM is the person you come here to die because he's the one.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's almost definitely going to be me. I mean, I certainly would be the crowd favorite to be murdered.

[Death]

Hey, Death, let me give you a hint. It's the key. Okay. Oh, it's the key.

[Amitha Rao]

Yes.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's much harder puzzle when I challenge you. Death.

[Scott Aukerman]

But do we want to get to it?

[Death]

I want to see a challenge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Who?

[Amitha Rao]

Okay. Just know if I touch someone, they're going to die, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but someone can challenge you, so.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, if. If first.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you. Do you give people an opportunity to challenge you before you touch them?

[Amitha Rao]

Well, no, normally I don't tell anyone that. It's if they know the rules and they ask the questions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, HM is challenging you right now.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I challenge you.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay. Dang it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I challenge you. Is it me?

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, it was going to be you.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, here's my finances. You'll see.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the opposite of a Shaggy. It was you.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That's right. What?

[Amitha Rao]

It wasn't me, it was you.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The opposite of the Shaggy that's what a better version of that song.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're like clean cut.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yeah, I'm. I'm. Yeah, I'm Clean Cut. The weird out version of Shaggy. Yes. And instead of it wasn't me, it was me.

[Amitha Rao]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, we have a challenge.

[Amitha Rao]

And again, I just want to say if. If it. If you go to heaven, cool. It's like Saturday all the time up there. Nice and easy. Okay, easy way to describe it. Hell, not so bad. Just like a cricket in your bedroom.

[H.M. Rosemont]

So you're telling me you're kind of trying to talk me out of the challenge?

[Amitha Rao]

Well, I'm just saying that, hey, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Know, neither sounds that appealing is any.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Like a cricket in your bedroom. Or just. It's just whatever. Like, I'd rather stay here on earth. Wouldn't you? Hn?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I would much rather stay here on earth.

[Amitha Rao]

Saturday all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is where your puzzles in your mansion are.

[H.M. Rosemont]

My mansion is waiting for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

When you get to heaven, do you get the same like or at least the same value of a house? You know what I mean? So if you have a mansion here on Earth, then you get a mansion up in heaven or whatever.

[Amitha Rao]

In fact, you actually get a better one. Isn't that nice?

[Scott Aukerman]

And does your bank account transfer into heaven box?

[Amitha Rao]

It doesn't. And it doesn't even matter. But it's there, there for you if you just want to look at it. If you want to log into everything free up there. U.S. bank or. Well, yeah, it's like a Saturday.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything where we all have to. We all have to wear each to his own abilities in according to.

[Amitha Rao]

Honestly, don't even consider it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

It is. It very much is. But we don't even think about it. Right. Because it's just like a Saturday.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's get to this challenge.

[Death]

The Saturday of it all is linked to everything.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, that's. That's heaven. Heaven's kind of like a Saturday, you know, Saturday day. Y.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't have the rights to this. Sorry.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't have $50,000 to bleep you.

[Amitha Rao]

Well, we could change it. Saturday in heaven. Every day is a Saturday.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the same melody.

[Amitha Rao]

Is that what they sue for?

[Scott Aukerman]

And then we'll change the melody and the word situation.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, I thought they said, everybody, get up, Saturday.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't have to sing. Everybody said, we don't have to change it to anything. Singing is not a requirement environment on this.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But we could. If we did want to sing that song, we changed the melody and the words. Then you're safe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then I'd be okay with it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

All right. I'm walking on Tuesday.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've changed it to another song. That Walking on Saturday.

[Death]

It wasn't me.

[Amitha Rao]

Can we get this challenge? Sure. Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

So, okay, you're in a room.

[Amitha Rao]

If I touch you, you die.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I got it.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And here's the challenge. And I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can't touch. He's challenging you. You can't touch.

[Amitha Rao]

I know. I'm just saying, just watch out. Cause he's. He's swinging that arm, pointing it up at two fingers an awful lot.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Gesticulate. It's a clap. Classy thing.

[Amitha Rao]

There it goes. Almost touched me.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Thank you for the warning. Okay, puzzle. You're in a room.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And there are. Okay, there are keys in the room. But I'm gonna tell you right now, that's not the answer to the puzzle.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But I just. It's a kind of an OCD thing.

[Amitha Rao]

I.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You know, whatever. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gotta put the keys out. Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

There's five coins, four keys, three gems. Doesn't matter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you be Lying.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I would not lie about puzzles. Okay, but I'm just telling you, you're in a room. Room. Five key or five coins. Four keys, three gems. And on a piece of wood is inscribed this. The goats are all getting really into yoga. You know they're not Roman because they don't have a toga. If you keep picking oysters, you might find a pearl. I hope season three of Severance is good.

[Amitha Rao]

I'm punching through that wall.

[Death]

It was an aabc.

[H.M. Rosemont]

What?

[Amitha Rao]

I'm punching through the wall.

[H.M. Rosemont]

How strong are you?

[Amitha Rao]

Unlimited.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Oh, really?

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Unlimited strength.

[Amitha Rao]

Unlimited strength.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think God could create a boulder that he couldn't lift.

[Amitha Rao]

I've seen it.

[Death]

Wow.

[Amitha Rao]

He did it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Don't speak in paradox. It freaks me out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that the solution?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I mean, it would work. Yes, it would work. It wasn't the solution. But if you're able to punch through a wall, that sort of solves any room in my house. Yes. Okay, that does solve it.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The real solution was you take one of the keys and open the door.

[Amitha Rao]

So you said it. What?

[Death]

You said the puzzle was lying.

[Amitha Rao]

All right, the puzzle was lying. Sorry, but I got to touch you.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Can I just settle my affairs? Can I settle my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let him settle his affairs. Let. I want to hear last words. Plus, we have a whole other segment to go.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, we have another segment. Okay. Yeah. Then we'll hang out and then I'll to. I'll touch you and kill you at the end of the segment.

[Scott Aukerman]

How's that sound? Is that a fair exchange?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Very gracious of you. Yes.

[Death]

Oh, and we get to witness his.

[Amitha Rao]

Dad to see it.

[Death]

That's magical.

[Scott Aukerman]

See the light go out in his eyes.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'm gonna air dap you.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, watch it.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'm staying. I'm staying. Clear.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, we need to take a break.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, because that's the format of the show. We have two.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I love formats.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're a format guy as well?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay, I love.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a vibes format duck guy.

[Amitha Rao]

You just say the word. I'll touch this guy. Okay, he's coming hard.

[Death]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to take a breath and take a break. But everyone take a breath as we take a break. And Amitha, I know you have to go, but when we come back, we're gonna have a substitute teacher. So this is very exciting. So thanks so much, Amita.

[Death]

Great to meet you. Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

When we come back, we're gonna have a substitute teacher. Plus, death is gonna kill this eccentric multi millionaire. This is an exciting episode. Of Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this.

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[G]

Hi there, it's Andy Richter and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, the three Questions with Andy Richter. Each week I I invite friends, comedians, actors and musicians to discuss these three where do you come from, where are you going, and what have you learned? New episodes are out every Tuesday with guests like Julie Bowe and Ted Danson, Tig Notaro, Will Arnett, Phoebe Bridgers, and more. You can also tune in for my weekly Andy Richter Call in show episodes where me and a special guest invite callers to weigh in on topics like dating, disasters, bad teachers and and lots more. Listen to the three Questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. We had Amitha Rao from Adults on FX but had to take off unfortunately because very busy with a, you know, busy schedule as a TV star. I remember those days. Oh, let's take you from here to here. Oh, this interview, that interview.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You did a lot of press for your show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I did, I did my line. I, I did. Yeah, a lot of my share which was.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I bet you were great at it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, some days were better than others, but I tried to never turn down many requests.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You know who'd be bad is the character Black Bolt from Marvel Comics. He can't speak.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he can't speak, but he can sign. Are you trying to say that people who.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, I'm not Trying to say are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hearing impaired or cannot speak are bad or lesser than when they give interviews.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

I really want you to kill this guy.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, starting to see it.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you know what? You know what? You know what? We still have another segment to go. So let's get to our next guest. She's a substitute teacher. Please welcome for the first time, Midge sinks.

[Death]

Hello. Hello. Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi.

[Amitha Rao]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

So great to meet you.

[Death]

It's so nice being here.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is H.M. rosemont. He's an eccentric multimillionaire.

[H.M. Rosemont]

As you were.

[Death]

Hm. I am such a fan of your money. I've been watching this from the corner and I just want to say, you know, we don't make what you guys make, and we deserve it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then. And death is over here.

[Death]

Hello, hello, hello, Hello. I think you're really gonna like what I have to show you.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, wow. Okay. Fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're gonna show death.

[Amitha Rao]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. Well, you're a substitute teacher. Where? Do you mind me asking a little bit about your background?

[Death]

No, no, not at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so where do you teach?

[Death]

I teach at Wells High School in Tennessee.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wells. Okay. Who's that? Is that H.G. wells? Is that Wells, the bartender from the Bachelor in Paradise? H.G.

[Death]

It'S H.G.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's H.G.

[Death]

H.G. Wells Middle School. I am a. Yes, I am a very popular substitute teacher there. Perform puppet shows. I have, I have a very close relationship to all the kids. I mean it. I, I don't want to speak too highly of this, but I, I will say my puppet shows are very incredible. And you are represented. That's why I said you would be.

[H.M. Rosemont]

So I had push back almost immediately in my time at private school, which I understand is a bit of a different affair, probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was this a military school as well, or.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It was. This was a military branch.

[Death]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've done a preparatory academy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

A preparatory academy? Academy of the highest.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've done the military?

[Death]

I've been military schools, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Oh, you've substitute taught at military schools?

[Death]

Yeah. Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I didn't know they had substitute teachers that could just come in and teach. I mean, I, I, if you're trained with a gun. Oh, yeah. Are you trained with a gun?

[Death]

Yeah, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

What kind of gun? I mean, do you, are you a gun owner?

[Death]

Yeah, yeah. I got machine, I got ak. I got everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got machines.

[Amitha Rao]

Those are the guns I know, yeah. Machine and ak.

[Death]

Yeah. I'm sure you're familiar with that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, I, I believe this been an uptick in Your business, once those were invented.

[Death]

Oh my God, I'm sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, interesting.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But the push back was just that in my time in an education, the substitute teacher was rarely someone who was popular.

[Death]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

If anything, they were an object of ridicule.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we like to substitute teachers. I recall because it's, it was like we could take a break for the day.

[Amitha Rao]

Maybe a movie perhaps.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they'd roll in the old AV card.

[Death]

Yeah, I mean, I would say, I would agree. And I was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which these days is like, oh, okay, let me press play on my tablet.

[H.M. Rosemont]

So many screens.

[Death]

I never do stuff like that. I keep it all live. All live. And that's why the kids love me so much. I honestly think I was replaced because I was lacked too much. I was technically substituted with another teacher. I was a main teacher and then I was substituted. That's why I am now substitute teacher.

[Amitha Rao]

But.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, wait, so you were an actual teacher?

[Death]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you got fired?

[Death]

I don't think I would use that word. Now.

[Amitha Rao]

Did it go substitute to teacher to substitute again or did you start teacher? Now you're substituted. Substituting.

[Death]

I, I started teaching. They substituted me out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay, so you've been substituted, but now you're substituting.

[Death]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now I think, I think I've wrapped it up.

[Death]

So. Yeah, yeah. I'm no longer legally allowed to perform as a full time teacher.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why? Are you legally allowed to perform as a substitute?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes. What a, what a nuanced, strange loophole.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's one weird trick.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah. I'm allowed to be around the kids for short periods of time. They were afraid I would change their psychology if I spent the whole day with them. Because I was, I was changing them. I was, you know, I, I, my puppet show, it was an iteration of the creation story. A new iteration. Mine. And the children were really taken to it. They, they loved it. And they started to go home. They started to believe. They started to act different. And you know, people don't like to see children change. People don't like to see the world become a better place.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, so you, you, you're hired as a substitute teacher. And this is a elementary school, elementary to middle, elementary to middle. And you're rec required or, or supposed to teach various subjects. Mathematics.

[Death]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

The others.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And instead you're doing puppet shows about the creation of the world or okay.

[Death]

So it is, it is the creation of the world. It's a take on Adam and Eve.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it? Adam and Steve?

[Death]

Oh my God, no, it's Yoko and John and it's is a story about if. How if you marry the wrong woman, you could get shot in the head.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Wait, so the story. John Lennon, who. You're basing this on the story of John Lennon?

[Death]

I didn't copy it.

[Scott Aukerman]

They were nude on the Rolling Stone magazine. Does that count? Can anyone who was in Rolling Stone challenges?

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, yeah, there has to be people.

[Death]

Unfortunately, there has to be people.

[Amitha Rao]

And from that nude, folks, you do know the bush was pretty big back then. Powerful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. So they were nude. So I can see the temptation.

[Death]

Yes, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

The way Eve was tempted by the apple.

[Death]

Exactly. And you see, and children were drawn to this same thing. They were drawn to this story of temptation and loss. They started to, you know, the boys started to stay away from the girls, which is how we like it. And. Yes, yes. I mean, it's a cautionary tale because I.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You're saying that the person who is shot deserves. Deserved it because they married the wrong woman in your story, In God's story. Oh, are you a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you a Beatles fan?

[Death]

I. I don't. I mean, I. I think their music is fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like what? Like how. How many albums do you own?

[Death]

I don't own any of their albums. People are always telling me that this sounds like the Beatles story. I think, to be honest, I had. I was born with this story. I started doing the puppet shows when I was 4 or 5. And yeah, I don't. I don't think it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you happen to listen to a PO called Screw it, let's just talk about the Beatles?

[Death]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Well, you definitely heard of it because it's a super popular podcast a very cool person runs.

[Amitha Rao]

Interesting because you seem to be completely unaffected by the Beatles whatsoever, but you listen to a specific podcast that only talks about them.

[Death]

I put on podcasts in the background so I can hear people talk all day, but I don't. I can't hear the words right. It's like noise.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a common affliction.

[Death]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Did you know that John Lennon is a man, a member of the group the Beatles, and that Yoko Ono was his wife?

[Death]

I knew about that because I started to get comments post the. The play.

[H.M. Rosemont]

But you didn't know about that when you first started doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

They were just a couple of new weirdos to you or.

[Death]

Yeah, I mean, they were always on. They were on everything. They were naked and they made their fun music. But yeah. No.

[Amitha Rao]

No question for. You've been doing the same puppet show since you were four. Okay.

[Death]

Sometimes you're born with A story. And you say it from the day you're born. Wow. I mean, I'm sure you feel that you wake up with a call in one day. I'm like, you had a call in every day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. I have to say, midge sinks.

[Death]

Midge sinks. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I certainly didn't have to look down at my notes to remember that. But it's.

[Death]

No, no, it's telling. You don't remember a substitute teacher. You remember H.M. morton. You remember. Yes.

[H.M. Rosemont]

H.M. rosemont. And no one's actually gotten it right anytime they've said it.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, HM Morton, the salt person.

[Death]

Yeah. You own the salt.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I do not own the salt empire, though I would be proud to.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it seems to me like you're not really a teacher. You're like a puppeteer tier. You know what I mean?

[Death]

I mean, what do you think puppet shows do?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I would imagine that there's some sort of educational or perhaps edutainment aspect to a puppet show. But, you know, if I were to hire you to come into my elementary to middle school to teach or just substitute teach, I would expect you to cover the basics. The rrr, you know, reading, writing. That's a double rooming. But, sorry, what was the rooming?

[Death]

Reading. Riding rooming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rooming.

[Death]

Yeah. We can cover that in the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And rr. The rr. The movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Death]

Oh, you guys seen that movie?

[Amitha Rao]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Great movie.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Netflix.

[Death]

Wow. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would credit Netflix. I mean, it's on Netflix 100% to.

[Death]

The credit of Netflix.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Just say the word.

[Amitha Rao]

Touch him. Just say the word.

[H.M. Rosemont]

You agreed. You agreed giving Netflix a.

[Scott Aukerman]

The credit for rr.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I have a tangential question.

[Death]

Yeah, please.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Where do you stand on bathroom passes? Like, can students go to the bathroom anytime they want? They raise the hand.

[Death]

Not during the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

You make them go in the yard. Or are you, like, in the corner?

[Death]

I mean, I. I personally prefer corner, but I'm totally fine with yard. I see where you're coming from. Thank you. Yes, I totally understand. Don't. I mean, honestly, if I could have a house with no bathrooms. I hate the way that smells.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the thing. Like, any house you go into, you're like, oh, wow, look, this is a gorgeous house. But then there's this rumor, people in it.

[Death]

Horrible.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like. It's like the fertility clinics. Like, you go in there and go like, wow, all you fancy doctors. Oh, is this the room that everyone jacks off in? Are you all right?

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, what's going on?

[Death]

No, no, I've just. I have A hard time with fertility clinics. I just tried to bomb a few of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so you took a turn. You're a religious person?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Death. You sure it's me? You want to come?

[Amitha Rao]

Well, I don't know. I'm taking information here.

[Death]

I didn't try to bomb them because I was against. Against. Against artificial insemination. I just think they were doing it at the wrong place.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Death]

I have a fertility clinic in my basement.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you would prefer people come to your basement or you just think that, like, well, what is the issue with the location of these fertility.

[Death]

Well, I just don't think they're. Well, my whole thing is, like, in the same way I was born with a story of creation, I was also born with a story of who should be created. And I am doing that in my basement. And it's dinner and show girls. You get inseminated and you get a puppet show. Interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So what's for dinner?

[Death]

Dinner is lots of eggs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lots of eggs. Like, when I hear dinner in a show, I'm thinking, at least a chicken. Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

I'm thinking, do I want to bring a date?

[Scott Aukerman]

There?

[Amitha Rao]

Is this the place?

[Death]

But, like, if it's like, it's whole eggs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Whole eggs, like, still in their shell.

[Death]

Boiled. Whole boiled eggs.

[Amitha Rao]

Is there a little play? Is it like a play on the eggs of fertility and the eggs?

[Death]

Oh, yeah. I thought it was kind of fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kind of a lot of them.

[Amitha Rao]

Does it. Does that have a name? Does your basement restaurant slash puppet show, fertility clinic have a name?

[Death]

Yeah, it's Midge Sinks Cafe.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay, so nothing interesting.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Don't even really know about the show.

[Death]

I mean, you should come down to Mitch Sinks Cafe. I mean, we could get muffins.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, has anyone ever said, like, where are the muffins?

[Amitha Rao]

Or. I didn't think this would be a fertility clinic.

[Death]

Yeah, we've gotten that one.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are all these eggs, whole boiled eggs doing here?

[Death]

We've definitely gotten that one. But then people start to eat the eggs. People go under and, you know, they really come around when they come up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go under meaning you're.

[Amitha Rao]

You're sedating Australia?

[Death]

Oh, no. Sedating them. We've thought about that in Australia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Death.

[Amitha Rao]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I'm part of my.

[Amitha Rao]

Part of my map. Trying to get my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly where your. Your coverage is.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, my coverage is a little bit here, a little bit there, depending where they send me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, this. This. I mean, look, I got to say. Hm. I called you eccentric mainly because you wanted to be introduced that way.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I have to say, Midge sinks you're possibly even more eccentric.

[Death]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Than H.M. rosemont himself.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I think you got the name right.

[Death]

I mean, if you need another eccentric in your house. I am great at a puzzle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Girl, you're good at puzzles.

[H.M. Rosemont]

We'll see if you can run the gamma.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have another puzzle?

[Death]

I do have another puzzle. I'm a teacher. Of course I'm good at puzzles.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Give me a second. Okay. Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, you're getting your dolls out to your puppets.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, the puppets are gonna.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a nude John Lennon.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. And a nude Yoko Ono.

[Death]

Well, and wait till you see the nude gun that he's about to bring out in second act. Spoiler.

[H.M. Rosemont]

He gets killed by a gun, though, right? So he brings it up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this like a Naked Gun reference? Because the reboot is coming out this summer. Or.

[H.M. Rosemont]

They're gonna reboot Naked Gun?

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You haven't seen the trailer?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I saw the whole thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Akiva Shaffer, our good friend.

[Amitha Rao]

He directed Dan Gregor and Doug Mand and.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Really?

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. They wrote it. Come on, man. I know you're an eccentric multi millionaire who's just in his mansion all day doing puzzles, but keep up on the latest Hollywood Insider.

[H.M. Rosemont]

My apologies. I'll try to stay up to date on the Naked Gun reboot news. All right, my bad. Ready for a puzzle? Okay. You're in a room.

[Death]

I'm in a room.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And here, and written on the wall is this. The horses all want to make the perfect cut cupcake, but they need the right sized bowl. For goodness sake, let's all go easier on Revenge of the Sith.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay. I want to touch this man right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And what's that on my shoe? Oops, I spit.

[Death]

So is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a real imperfect rhyme.

[Death]

Yeah. What was that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I think he's going for an aabb, but it's more of an ABC and a half.

[Death]

Yeah. Being a half. Yeah. Definitely minus. I'm so sorry. Can you repeat that word?

[H.M. Rosemont]

The horses all want to make the perfect cupcake, but they need the right size bowl. For goodness sake, let's all go easier on Revenge of the Sith. What's that on my shoe? Oops, I spit.

[Amitha Rao]

Sith and spit. That's the one. We're kind. Yeah.

[H.M. Rosemont]

15 coins.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, you've said you're good at puzzles.

[H.M. Rosemont]

One piece, two gems.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the.

[Amitha Rao]

It's the key.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No hint.

[Amitha Rao]

Wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the lip.

[Death]

Midge, I. I appreciate the hints, but I could have solved it. On my own. And I actually am gonna have the puppet solve it for me.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, let's hear how the Liverpool accent is. Because I don't think you should be doing the other voice.

[Death]

I can do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Death]

Maybe you should hear my other story. My other creation story is a different one. Another take on Adam and Eve. It's Blanca Ruiz.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Death]

And.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Death]

I do very good voices for them. And as well, I think. I think perfect.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I feel like I'm in Liverpool obest.

[Death]

Think that he. A gun.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been transported to.

[Amitha Rao]

And that's Yoko.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Think the winds of the port are.

[Death]

Blowing over pointed at me husband's head. Oh, my God, that man's about to kill me husband. No, no.

[H.M. Rosemont]

The Australian Liverpool.

[Death]

No, no, no, no. Oh, my God. He's shooting. He's shooting. He's gonna shoot my husband. But he's taking out a key.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes, it's the. It's the key.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[H.M. Rosemont]

What are you.

[Amitha Rao]

Here you are. Wow. You are good.

[Death]

I was by the door listening in pratting my show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible. Wow. Well, this is. This is. You know, Midge, I have to say, you're. You're an eccentric, but you have a certain sense of pizzazz that I just can't help but really appreciate.

[Death]

Thank you. The school system does not agree, but you hire me, and I will bring that to any room I bring in.

[Scott Aukerman]

In. Well, I doubt I'm gonna hire you.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'll hire.

[Death]

Why is that?

[H.M. Rosemont]

You may work in the mansion, especially if I'm going to be dead.

[Amitha Rao]

You are.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I will bequeath the puzzle mentioned to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. If you say it on a podcast, it has to be true.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because everything I've said on any podcast is true.

[H.M. Rosemont]

This is. I'll get. This has got the Asif Ali level of integrity and meaning that I'll stand by my word.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[H.M. Rosemont]

And I be bequeath the Rosemont puzzle mansion to you. Midge sinks upon my death.

[Amitha Rao]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible.

[Amitha Rao]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are there conditions? Does Midge sink have to keep the puzzles?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I guess I forgot to say that, but I would, you know, kind of gently.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like when you sell a house, you're like, you know, they should be able to do whatever they want, but sometimes you don't want to sell it to them because it's like, well, you're gonna change the architecture style.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Of course I'd like all the puzzles to say, but I. But I forgot to say that. So I acknowledge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, a deal is a deal.

[Amitha Rao]

I'd put a bathroom in the first room. Honestly, that's what I would do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll change the foyer in.

[Death]

Yeah, I understand where that's coming from, but I see what you're saying. I don't like the smell inside and I would respect the integrity of that decision, especially if I'm a butler. Who cares?

[H.M. Rosemont]

You got a butler?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, does the butler come with?

[H.M. Rosemont]

It comes to the house, of course.

[Death]

Last sentence.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's paying for the butler, though?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Oh, you'll have to pay out of the. Well, there's.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is like an extreme home makeover situation where they build you a huge house, but then the taxes on it you can't even afford. And you afford Florida butler.

[Death]

Obviously not. I've been doing puppet shows in the park since I lost my job.

[H.M. Rosemont]

There's an endowment that's doing.

[Amitha Rao]

Hm. This is like Oprah giving everyone cars and they couldn't afford the insurance on the cars.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought it's the same thing.

[Death]

He gave it to me. He gave it to me.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but different way of phrasing what I'm saying.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I've given a house. It'll be. It'll be fine. I worked out the logistics.

[Death]

Listen to me. I'm going to redo the whole thing. I'll keep some puzzles, but I'm going to updo the whole. I'm going to renovate it with the mid sink style. Okay. Puppet shows in the foyer, puppet show in the back.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Why did I do this?

[Death]

Last room. Should have left it to my wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's going to be puppetee and guns.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Puppet shows and guns.

[Death]

You. You're what?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I have a wife. I should have. God, I should have called her. I blew it.

[Amitha Rao]

Mitch, also, let me tell you your creation story. Half right. It's half right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

I was there. That's about 50% of it. The accent was the perfect.

[Death]

Thank you. Thank you. I've been practicing that. The kids really like it.

[Scott Aukerman]

How long did Adam and Eve live to.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, Adam. Not that long long. But Eve for quite some time because.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was born at probably like when I think of Adam, I think of him as like a. A cut like six pack.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

He was very, very like too focused on his body a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like he's 20 something.

[Death]

That's the point.

[Scott Aukerman]

27.

[Death]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The point's his body. That's right, his body.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah. Once he turned 27, I honestly stopped caring what he was doing.

[Death]

Yeah. I mean, didn't he get shot in the head?

[Amitha Rao]

He did. Yes, he did. That was part of it. And also fell off. Number Five on the call sheet. So, yeah, started as one. When you end on five, you know it's not going to go well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Death, I. I'm gon hold. I know you're getting very close to HM right now.

[Death]

No, but please, please, I'm going to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ask you to hold off just a little bit longer.

[Death]

Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

While we are running out of time on this show, we do have time for one final feature, and that's a little something called plug.

[Death]

Do not open Plug.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Plugs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jesus Christ. God damn it. All right, that was. My House's Full of Bees and I Don't have a Hive by Permo. Thank you, Permo.

[Death]

Thank you, Permo.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of dynamics is the. The best thing I can say about that song. But what would you see.

[Death]

What would you see if that song was Death?

[Scott Aukerman]

If what? Oh, Death.

[Death]

Oh, I thought that song was Death. I mean, in a way, I thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a new slang thing.

[Amitha Rao]

Is that a question that you ask people? What would they see if that song was Death?

[Death]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Death]

I mean, earlier. Earlier I was thinking about that when.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What do you see? Death. Amitha saw Death as a. A hip.

[Death]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

How do I look? How am I presenting to you?

[Death]

You look. You look just like my mom.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, that's so sweet.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's your mom?

[Death]

She was in an ACDC cover band.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. What was. What was the band called? I have to ask.

[Death]

Tourette's.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. They went a different way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Usually it's a pun on women.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes. Go to the band's songs or Highway To.

[Death]

Well, no, no, she. They didn't want to. They didn't want to be expected. They want a surprise with.

[Amitha Rao]

Notice that about you and your family. Yeah. The marketing is a little bit off.

[Death]

Well, off is a rude thing to say, but off. I mean, different.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay.

[Death]

Yeah. Yeah. I think we like to be unexpected. I mean, everything you see nowadays is so. Curated. Everything you see is so tailored for your eye.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like the algorithm.

[Death]

The algorithm tells us we have to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look at this, everyone.

[Death]

A godless thing, the algorithm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, we're in the middle of plugs. What are we plugging here? I know Midge syncs. Do you want to plug anything? Do you have any TV shows that you're watching or.

[Amitha Rao]

I.

[Death]

Only thing I have to plug is that the story you're being told by the government and the world at large is not true. You can come into my basement. I will fill you with the seed of the man you're supposed to Be with. And I will tell you the truth of the world. Also, I know my name sounds like Mitch stinks, but do not say that. If you do, I can legally shoot you in the head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. If on your property, maybe. But D. Are you watching Adults On. On fx?

[Death]

I watch it on Effects.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, effects.

[Death]

Yes, of course, Effects. I don't watch fx. That is a weird channel.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll let you plug it if you. If you want.

[Death]

Okay. I guess if you want, you could watch Adults.

[Amitha Rao]

There's the.

[Scott Aukerman]

But what's next Kids? Like, I saw that movie already.

[Death]

No, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? It's like, what's the escalation on this?

[H.M. Rosemont]

Where's it going to go?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. Where do we go?

[Death]

Why do you want to watch Kids?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the thing. I stayed away from that movie.

[Death]

Yeah, that's.

[Amitha Rao]

Well, you just said you saw it.

[Death]

Yeah, you're kind of walking back from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your answer and death. What do you want to plug?

[Amitha Rao]

Well, I'm a. I. I got some free time, you know, trying to chase people down, touch them, whatnot, kill them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where exactly, by the way? What's your route?

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, depending on where they send me, you know. Right. But I've been a big fan of Holy shit improv. You can watch it online. They're based in la, but you can watch them anywhere. And they're doing some summer touring in June. They're going to Houston on the 26th, Austin on the 27th, and Dallas on the 29th. That's with comedian Clash. It's gonna be a blast. Go check that out.

[Scott Aukerman]

That sounds like a huge three day tour.

[Amitha Rao]

It's a huge four days that they have one day where they're not touring, travel day, just to hang out in Austin Day. Really? Not exactly sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doesn't seem economical.

[Amitha Rao]

No, Honestly, whoever planned this, not the best planner, but it's gonna be a fun time. And then they're going to Europrov in Vienna, Austria. That's July 23rd.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's where Falco's from.

[Amitha Rao]

2427Th. Which Falco?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you know, the one who sang Rock Me Helmet Days.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, okay. Yes, of course, of course.

[H.M. Rosemont]

It was a huge hit for like three weeks in 1987.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you, you, I'm sure you, you got him eventually. Unless it was one of your four co workers.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah, no, that's part of my territory, as I clearly laid out earlier. So Europrov.com, check that out. And then lastly, they'll be in Edinburgh. Edinburgh, July 30 through August 10. At Gilded Balloons, Patter House. And just all these shows are having Comedy Bang Bang favorites on them. So go check out out those things. Holy improv. You're going to love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

This sounds like an amazing time at the theater. Wow. All right. Hm. Rosemont. I. I would imagine you don't have much to plug.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I don't have much to plug because I'm about to die. I would love to plug my Puggle Man Puzzle Mansion. I puggle my puzzle Mansion. There's no point.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's like a word jumbo. I'll continue.

[Death]

I'll continue to plug your mansion.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay. I appreciate it. And I guess if you're looking for a podcast besides this one and you like the biggest Beatles. Screw it. We're just going to talk about. The Beatles is a fine podcast that my dear friend Will Hines.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're friends with that guy?

[H.M. Rosemont]

I'm. Yeah, that guy. Well, he's an upstanding individual. I mean, he's. He's got real lukewarm takes. He's hard to get offended by. He's a. But anyway, if you like the Beatles, that podcast, I recommend.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, I want to plug. Hey, head over to CBB World and you can get the entire archive of Comedy Bang Bang advert free. That's every episode we've ever done, all 900 and whatever number this is of them. Plus all of the live episodes we've done. That's over a thousand episodes of Comedy Bang Bang that you can get over there. Plus we have new shows like CBB Presents, where people from Comedy Bang Bang have their own show. We have. Scott hasn't seen where I watch terrible kids movies, it seems like every week. And we talk about it with Sprague, the Whisperer. Plus we have the neighborhood. Listen, College two Town. So much more over there. And it's pretty inexpensive. So head over to cbb world.com and you can check it out there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. You plugged things. All right, that was we can't see you by W.T. bond. Ooh, another two initial guy.

[H.M. Rosemont]

I love him. Us two initial guys, we hang out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Better than one initial guys like Michael J. Fox.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Who needs it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Go.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Go all the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, just call yourself MJF.

[H.M. Rosemont]

MJ Fox.

[Amitha Rao]

That's.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Now that's a name.

[Scott Aukerman]

MJF.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Okay.

[Amitha Rao]

Yeah. All three.

[Death]

Why not FDR, FDR 3 and initials. Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. LBJ, RK, RFK. Comedy adjacent. Who he's married to.

[Death]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

We protect our own.

[H.M. Rosemont]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Guys, I want to thank you so much. Gosh, I wish Amitha were here. Yeah, but unfortunately. Do you wanna. Do you mind passing? Yeah, on my pleasure. Yeah. If you happen to see.

[Death]

I can find her.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can find her.

[Death]

Okay. Very robust system.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I do want to thank you. Mid sinks.

[Death]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Such a pleasure to have you on. I gotta admit, you're a little bit weird.

[Death]

You are going to die today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Death. Is that true?

[Amitha Rao]

Not true. Come on, girl.

[Death]

I'm sorry.

[Amitha Rao]

Not true.

[Death]

Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Death. Always great to see you, but I hope I don't see you again for quite some time.

[Amitha Rao]

Okay, well, I'll let you know. We'll have fun either way.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's.

[Amitha Rao]

The hell's not that bad. It's like playing Taboo and you say a word on the cards, you assume.

[H.M. Rosemont]

That Scott's going to hell to prep him for that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course, everyone is, I guess, but. And then. Hm. Rosemont. Hey. A life well lived. His own reward, I guess.

[H.M. Rosemont]

All right, I'm gonna have to look at it that way. Yes.

[Amitha Rao]

Thank you, everyone. Remember the last thing he said was made fun of Michael J. Fox's name and.

[H.M. Rosemont]

No, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why is he screaming? What is he dying of?

[Death]

Yeah.

[Amitha Rao]

Oh, well, I had him poop from the inside. Oh, he just went up through the middle.

[Scott Aukerman]

How ironic.

[Death]

A karmic punishment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wow.

[Amitha Rao]

It's like rain on your wedding day. Isn't it ironic?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a lot like that, in a way.

[Death]

Can we sing that one?

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, rest in peace, H.M. rosemont. And to the rest of you, we'll see you next week. Thanks.

[Amitha Rao]

By.

[G]

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