Ike Barinholtz, Drew Tarver, Erin Keif - Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast

Summary5 min read

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode Featuring Ike Barinholtz, Drew Tarver, and Erin Keif

Release Date: February 24, 2025
Hosts: Scott Aukerman, Ike Barinholtz, Dr. Henry Heimlich, Louis Pantano

Introduction and Guest Appearance

[00:25] Scott Aukerman opens the show with his signature playful banter, welcoming listeners and introducing the week's guest, Ike Barinholtz. Scott sets a humorous tone by referencing unconventional phrases and teasing upcoming segments involving a doctor and a Bostonian.

Ike Barinholtz on "Running Point"

[01:03] Ike Barinholtz discusses his role as the co-creator of the Netflix show "Running Point", describing it as a groundbreaking one-night, one-day event release strategy.
[01:08] Ike Barinholtz: “It's a special two night event. Which was a release strategy that had never been attempted before…”
He humorously elaborates on the show's format, likening it to a TV equivalent of the Big Bang Theory but more explosive and setting the stage for numerous spin-offs.

Promotion Amid Legal Troubles

As the conversation progresses, Ike divulges personal challenges, including a lawsuit stemming from a controversial promotional stunt during his previous project, "Shogun".
[03:48] Ike Barinholtz: “Lovely couple from Buffalo was in town. Wife was decapitated. Husband was mortally wounded. He's also dead.”
He candidly appeals to listeners for support, emphasizing the importance of the show's success for his career and personal circumstances.

Deep Dive into "Running Point"

Scott and Ike delve deeper into "Running Point", highlighting its star-studded cast, including Kate Hudson, Justin Theroux, Scott MacArthur, Drew Tarver, Max Greenfield, and Brenda Song.
[07:04] Ike Barinholtz: “It all comes out this Thursday on Netflix.”
They discuss the show's premise—a fictional and contemporary take on managing a famous basketball franchise, with Kate Hudson's character thrust into executive leadership amidst chaotic team dynamics.

Introduction of Dr. Henry Heimlich

The episode takes a surreal turn with the introduction of Dr. Henry Heimlich, the creator of the Heimlich maneuver.
[28:31] Scott Aukerman: “Has this ever been used on you, Ike?”
[28:35] Ike Barinholtz: “I've never been Heimliched. I choked, but I managed to get it out.”
Dr. Heimlich engages in absurd and humorous discussions about failed attempts at medical solutions, blending dark humor with playful banter.

Reunion with Louis Pantano

[57:31] Louis Pantano joins the conversation, rekindling past comedic collaborations and engaging in a series of inside jokes and playful accusations about stolen ideas and forgotten memories.
[58:12] Louis Pantano: “We started out together.”
The trio reminisces about old performances, improv Olympics, and shared experiences, all while maintaining a lighthearted and comedic atmosphere.

Absurd Medical and Showbiz Pitches

Dr. Heimlich presents a barrage of fictional and bizarre TV show ideas, parodying the process of show creation with over-the-top concepts:

“Obstruction Island”: Detectives investigating paranormal choking phenomena.
“Masked Asphyxiator”: A twist on popular masked competitions with choking challenges.
“Frankly, I’m Choking”: A dark comedy blending personal struggles with choking incidents.

[46:22] Dr. Henry Heimlich: “I think this could Be good. My story, you know, is it like a drama based on your life, or is it like a reality show?”
[48:07] Dr. Henry Heimlich: “Yeah. You need a raise.”

Closing Plugs and Final Banter

In the final segments, the guests and host exchange humorous plugs for their various (often fictional) projects and personal endeavors:

Ike Barinholtz urges listeners to watch "Running Point" to support him through his legal battles.
Dr. Henry Heimlich attempts to pitch his unconventional show ideas, blending absurdity with mock-seriousness.
Louis Pantano promotes his Pixar show “Win or Lose”, highlighting its focus on a middle school softball team.

[81:05] Scott Aukerman: “And of course, Louis Pantano. What do you want to plug here?”
[84:00] Louis Pantano: “Win or lose. It follows like a middle school co-ed softball team.”

The episode concludes with a playful exchange about the chaotic nature of their interactions and a humorous plea for listener support.

Notable Quotes

Ike Barinholtz on "Running Point":
[01:08] Ike Barinholtz: “Spin offs upon spin offs upon spinoffs. Even background characters, ground characters, opening titles get their own spin offs.”
Ike Barinholtz's Legal Struggles:
[04:11] Ike Barinholtz: “I wanna keep the Ike train rolling. And so if you're able to, when you hear this, set a reminder alarm on your phone.”
Dr. Henry Heimlich's Absurd Solutions:
[29:43] Dr. Henry Heimlich: “Tiny lung teeth. Smile. And then they would eat the popcorn and the popcorn corn would get caught in their lung braces.”
Louis Pantano on Past Collaborations:
[57:33] Scott Aukerman: “We did comedy together. We started out together.”
[57:39] Scott Aukerman: “We were on a herald team at the improv Olympics together. Do you not remember?”
Final Plea for Support:
[25:56] Ike Barinholtz: “Please, please watch the show. And if you like the show, you could find me on Venmo and you can shoot me a couple bucks.”

Section Breakdown

Introduction and Guest Appearance: Scott introduces Ike Barinholtz amidst humorous banter, setting the stage for a comedy-filled episode.
Ike Barinholtz on "Running Point": Ike discusses his innovative Netflix show, highlighting its unique release strategy and potential for numerous spin-offs.
Promotion Amid Legal Troubles: Ike reveals personal legal issues related to a past promotional event, earnestly requesting listener support to maintain his career.
Deep Dive into "Running Point": The conversation explores the show's premise, characters, and star power, emphasizing its contemporary and fictional narrative within the basketball industry.
Introduction of Dr. Henry Heimlich: A comedic and absurd character who engages in humorous medical discussions and fictional show pitches, adding a surreal layer to the episode.
Reunion with Louis Pantano: Louis joins the conversation, bringing in nostalgic references and playful quips about their past collaborations and forgotten memories.
Absurd Medical and Showbiz Pitches: Dr. Heimlich presents a series of outlandish TV show ideas, parodying the entertainment industry's creative process.
Closing Plugs and Final Banter: The episode wraps up with mutual promotions of their various projects, reinforcing the comedic and improvisational nature of the podcast.

Conclusion

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast masterfully blends improvisational humor, surreal conversations, and genuine moments of vulnerability. Through Ike Barinholtz's promotion of "Running Point", his candid discussion of personal legal troubles, the introduction of the absurd and humorous Dr. Henry Heimlich, and the nostalgic reunion with Louis Pantano, the show delivers a rich and engaging experience. Notable quotes and a well-structured flow ensure that both regular listeners and newcomers can enjoy the comedic revelry and behind-the-scenes insights without needing prior knowledge of the episode's content.

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Transcript1,501 lines

[00:25]
Scott Aukerman
Rat a tat. Cat in the hat. Crack of the bat, that's amore. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Lil Puss in Butt for that catchphrase submission. Thanks to Lil Puss in Butt and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have an exceptional show this week. Coming up a little later. We have a doctor. We also have a Bostonian. What a show. But before we get to them, let's get to our guest of honor. Of course we know him as the creator of the two night event. Was it. Or was it a.
[01:03]
Ike Barinholtz
They called it a special two night.
[01:05]
Scott Aukerman
A special two night event. Which was a release strategy that had.
[01:08]
Ike Barinholtz
Never been attempted before and now it hasn't been since.
[01:12]
Scott Aukerman
But he was on Hyping it up back when History of The World Part 2 came out and premiered on a special two night event. And now he is the co creator of a show entitled Running Point which hits Netflix on a one night event, one day event.
[01:32]
Ike Barinholtz
It's a. It's just one moment event.
[01:34]
Scott Aukerman
It all comes out in one moment, one second, basically. Like every episode comes out one second.
[01:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Of the day, basically. No, it's basically like the. The TV equivalent of the Big Bang Theory, but. But confusingly not the Big Bang Theory.
[01:52]
Scott Aukerman
So I think what you're trying to say is an explosion which would create tributaries by which all other TV special series will be compared to.
[02:04]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes, yes.
[02:04]
Scott Aukerman
And spring forth out of.
[02:06]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes. It's basically the first one. It all comes out at one big pop.
[02:10]
Scott Aukerman
Right.
[02:10]
Ike Barinholtz
And then just we'll have billions and billions of shows stemming from that.
[02:15]
Scott Aukerman
I can't wait. So just spin offs.
[02:18]
Ike Barinholtz
Spin offs upon spin offs upon spinoffs.
[02:20]
Scott Aukerman
Even background characters, ground characters, opening titles.
[02:25]
Ike Barinholtz
Get their own spin offs. A new. Yeah, it's a new thing where Netflix is trying.
[02:28]
Scott Aukerman
Okay, this is amazing. But it all comes out this Thursday on Netflix. Please welcome back to the show Ike Barinhole. Thank you.
[02:34]
Ike Barinholtz
Thank you. It is my pleasure. Puss in Boot, Puss in butt.
[02:39]
Scott Aukerman
Puss and boots is what you said first.
[02:43]
Ike Barinholtz
I just burnt myself in my coffee.
[02:45]
Scott Aukerman
It's so wonderful to have you back. You are of course one of America's greatest showrunners and co creators and you did the History of The World Part 2.
[02:55]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[02:56]
Scott Aukerman
And this.
[02:56]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. And anything else. What else did I do? I did Shogun. I ran Shogun. You were the show created it. I didn't take a credit on it because they kind of went a slightly different way than I.
[03:09]
Scott Aukerman
Which way did they end up going? The.
[03:10]
Ike Barinholtz
They just Went kind of hard. Drama. And I thought it was kind of more like a. Like a multi cam kind of fun.
[03:16]
Scott Aukerman
You know, live studio audience.
[03:17]
Ike Barinholtz
We filmed the pilot in front of a live studio audience.
[03:20]
Scott Aukerman
Right.
[03:20]
Ike Barinholtz
And it was like, you know, it was like the scene when he commits, you know, seppuku. It got like a great.
[03:26]
Scott Aukerman
Aww, that's good. That's what you want.
[03:29]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. When the other guy was like, I want you to have sex with this my nephew and I will watch. The crowd was like, oh.
[03:37]
Scott Aukerman
Shogun spoilers, by the way.
[03:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, sorry, sorry.
[03:39]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, by the way, I also heard as a promotional kind of thing, you gave swords to everyone in the live studio audience.
[03:45]
Ike Barinholtz
I did. And that is kind of the root of the lawsuit.
[03:48]
Scott Aukerman
I. Yeah.
[03:50]
Ike Barinholtz
Lovely couple from Buffalo was in town. Wife was decapitated.
[03:55]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, no.
[03:55]
Ike Barinholtz
Husband was mortally wounded. He's also dead.
[03:58]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. That's a wound you do not want to get mortal.
[04:02]
Ike Barinholtz
Mortal wounds, I've always said are the worst. I hate them. Anyways, his. His two sons are suing me and Hulu and Disney, and they're going to win.
[04:11]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay.
[04:12]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, they're going.
[04:13]
Scott Aukerman
So this may be the last time we see you. You might be jailed.
[04:15]
Ike Barinholtz
I would love to do a Colin.
[04:17]
Scott Aukerman
From prison at one point, by the way. I think this would be the first civil suit that results in you being, like a person, a litigant, being jailed.
[04:25]
Ike Barinholtz
Y. It's. It's. It's breaking new ground. It's criminal civil, kind of.
[04:28]
Scott Aukerman
It's so egregious.
[04:29]
Ike Barinholtz
It's criminal featuring civil.
[04:31]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay.
[04:32]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[04:33]
Scott Aukerman
Well, this. I mean, that's all in the past, though. And possibly the future, it sounds.
[04:36]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, well, we're right in the middle of it right now. I'm leaving today to head down to the courthouse. We have another pretrial motion. But the trial. I would love to plug the trial.
[04:44]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah.
[04:45]
Ike Barinholtz
I think it drops April 3rd. Oh, okay. It'll be on Court TV. It'll be. It'll also be on the news. Yeah, you can just watch.
[04:55]
Scott Aukerman
I mean, the story itself was so crazy. It was everywhere. Yeah, but you know how the news cycle goes these days. Like 24 hours later, no one cared about the woman who got decapitated.
[05:04]
Ike Barinholtz
No.
[05:05]
Scott Aukerman
At the Shogun Live tape and her husband mortally wounded.
[05:07]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, yeah. No, so. But it's all coming back and it's. It's going to be kind of interesting.
[05:12]
Scott Aukerman
Wonderful. Well, let's put that aside and talk about a show that I am told is called Running Point. Which I've never heard this expression. I've never heard these two words put together.
[05:24]
Ike Barinholtz
Really? You never heard someone say, like, I'm gonna run point on this?
[05:27]
Scott Aukerman
I sure I've heard run point.
[05:29]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[05:30]
Scott Aukerman
Okay, so it's. So this is basically someone present. Running point.
[05:34]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes. Yes.
[05:34]
Scott Aukerman
So it's not like a point where people start running.
[05:37]
Ike Barinholtz
No.
[05:38]
Scott Aukerman
Well, on your marks, get set, go. You're at your running point.
[05:44]
Ike Barinholtz
No, the double meaning comes in running point, as in I'm going to take charge. I'm going to be sure in charge of this. And also in basketball, if you're the point guard.
[05:53]
Scott Aukerman
Sure.
[05:54]
Ike Barinholtz
You're running point for the team.
[05:56]
Scott Aukerman
You're also running.
[05:57]
Ike Barinholtz
And you're also running. Yeah, basketball.
[05:58]
Scott Aukerman
What if, what if there was a no running rule in basketball? Can you imagine how exciting this would be?
[06:03]
Ike Barinholtz
So you're just walking. Yeah, Casual walking.
[06:05]
Scott Aukerman
Casual. Like if anyone even breaks into a trot, that's a foul. This is an exciting variation on the game. You have to admit it is.
[06:15]
Ike Barinholtz
No, it would be good. It'd be good. This show would be called, I guess, walking Point.
[06:18]
Scott Aukerman
Speaking of sports, we were talking with Deion Sanders a couple of weeks ago. Why, you know, you know the long snap where they, they, they throw it to the kicker. Why doesn't the guy just turn around, throw it to him? Like why through the legs?
[06:31]
Ike Barinholtz
Why doesn't the snapper. Oh, that's a good question. I wonder if there's a rule that you have to go through the legs.
[06:35]
Scott Aukerman
It's emasculating, isn't it?
[06:37]
Ike Barinholtz
It really is embarrassing.
[06:38]
Scott Aukerman
Like it is. I'm bending over, here's my little butt. And then it goes whoop. Through the legs. And sometimes he misses.
[06:44]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[06:45]
Scott Aukerman
And it gets bobble.
[06:45]
Ike Barinholtz
Sometimes it catches the taint and it just, you get a penalty.
[06:48]
Scott Aukerman
Then just turn around and throw it to the guy. Anyway, this is welcome back to sportscast. Okay, so running point. Now I know what the title is. I'm being told by the Internet the series stars Kate Hudson.
[07:04]
Ike Barinholtz
Boom.
[07:05]
Scott Aukerman
This is of course Oliver Hudson's sister.
[07:08]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes, Oliver Hudson's sister. Daughter in law. Not in law stepping daughter of Kurt Russell.
[07:19]
Scott Aukerman
Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn.
[07:21]
Ike Barinholtz
Boom.
[07:22]
Scott Aukerman
The two. The star wattage on that couple age.
[07:25]
Ike Barinholtz
It's the highest star wattage for a couple of all time. Name another couple that has more wattage than that.
[07:30]
Scott Aukerman
You can't. Yeah, I'm trying to think of any two stars.
[07:34]
Ike Barinholtz
Bill and Hillary Clinton.
[07:38]
Scott Aukerman
Almost a two president couple.
[07:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Almost.
[07:42]
Scott Aukerman
But this is Kate Hudson and I'm told that she stars as Isla Gor.
[07:48]
Ike Barinholtz
Isla. Yeah. But you. The only other person that's made that mistake is everyone who's ever read the script. Kate was the only one that was like, Isla.
[07:56]
Louis Pantano
Right.
[07:57]
Ike Barinholtz
We're like, thank you.
[07:57]
Scott Aukerman
Did you. How many takes were ruined because of someone saying Isla?
[08:02]
Ike Barinholtz
Multiple and ADR sessions where I'm like, it looks like if the lip flap is matching. Just go ahead and say Isla. It's gonna work.
[08:07]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. Isla Gord. Why would you name a character Isla?
[08:11]
Ike Barinholtz
It's a beautiful name. It's. Why it's. Oh, I guess you don't like the song a lot. Isla Bonita. I don't know. You know, I think actually that name was a Mindy Kaling. I fought around it, man.
[08:27]
Scott Aukerman
No, it was Mindy Kaling co created this show.
[08:30]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes, Mindy Kaling, our dear friend who I did the Mindy project with.
[08:35]
Scott Aukerman
You were just an actor on that.
[08:37]
Ike Barinholtz
No, I wrote on that.
[08:37]
Scott Aukerman
You wrote on.
[08:38]
Ike Barinholtz
I wrote on that? Yeah.
[08:39]
Scott Aukerman
Did you write your own lines or ever?
[08:42]
Ike Barinholtz
I wrote my own lines. I wrote lines for. For everyone. And if you give. If you paid me enough money, I'd wr your line. That's kind of how I look at it.
[08:49]
Scott Aukerman
So really, anyone could have been in that?
[08:50]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. I'm from Chicago. You come to my. My office, you give me a little envelope with a couple 20s in it. You're going to find a couple lines in next script. Sometimes they're not jokes. They're just like, hey, there's a package for you, boss.
[09:02]
Scott Aukerman
I love to do that. Oh, my God, the residuals on that sids.
[09:07]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. So we wrote together with my other partner, Dave Stassen.
[09:11]
Scott Aukerman
And who's this Dave Stassen character?
[09:13]
Ike Barinholtz
He is probably one of the more important figures in Hollywood. He's like my best. He's only my best friend of, like, 40 years.
[09:20]
Scott Aukerman
40 years? Yeah.
[09:21]
Ike Barinholtz
Believe it or not, since you were, what, three? No, I'm a little older than that. I'm seven. I turned 70 this year. I'm the big seven zero.
[09:29]
Scott Aukerman
So you met this guy when you were 30 years old?
[09:31]
Ike Barinholtz
Became my best friend, which is a.
[09:34]
Scott Aukerman
Little too old to have a best friend, in my. My opinion. But you guys are tight. And so. So Dave Stassen you've known for a long time.
[09:42]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes. Went to camp and school together, and we got hired together on the Mindy project.
[09:47]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, wow. As a. As a team.
[09:48]
Ike Barinholtz
As a team. And then we've, you know, obvious writing together since then, and then Mindy kind of came to us with this idea and she was like, you guys love basketball. And, you know, we. We loved writing together and so it's.
[09:58]
Scott Aukerman
The most orange of balls, is it not?
[10:01]
Ike Barinholtz
It is definitely the most orange of balls. Oh, it's the only orange ball. What do you mean? There's white.
[10:07]
Scott Aukerman
There's a pool cue. Or not Q. But what is that, the eight ball? No, it's black. What is the nine ball? Yellow.
[10:14]
Ike Barinholtz
Is it the 12?
[10:15]
Scott Aukerman
Is it the 12? I'm gonna look up orange ball.
[10:19]
Ike Barinholtz
Orange. Orange pool ball.
[10:20]
Scott Aukerman
Pool.
[10:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Footballs are brown.
[10:24]
Scott Aukerman
Footballs are pretty brown. Tennis are the five ball.
[10:27]
Ike Barinholtz
The five.
[10:28]
Scott Aukerman
And, well, the 13 is the strike stripe.
[10:30]
Ike Barinholtz
No. Doesn't count.
[10:31]
Scott Aukerman
Doesn't count.
[10:32]
Ike Barinholtz
No. To your point. Basketball is the most orange of balls. It's it. And it's the bounciest, I think, has.
[10:37]
Scott Aukerman
It ever happened, where a basketball game happens and the ref throws the ball up and it's flat, and everyone's like, what the fuck? This won't bounce anywhere. And then they have to go, all right, Everyone go.
[10:49]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, I mean, you know, we don't.
[10:51]
Scott Aukerman
Have an air pump tonight.
[10:52]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. At the professional level, though, there's pumps and extra balls. I think usually the games I go to, but if you go to one thing, when you go to basketball game, you see dozens of balls there. So they would just probably grab another one.
[11:05]
Scott Aukerman
There's a whole rack of pumps just in case.
[11:08]
Ike Barinholtz
Sorry, folks, we'll be flying in. A pub from Arizona should be here in one hour. Please welcome Tiga.
[11:16]
Scott Aukerman
Tiga.
[11:17]
Ike Barinholtz
Isn't he the rapper?
[11:18]
Scott Aukerman
I think it's Tyga, isn't it? I mean, is it Tigger, the. From Winnie the Pooh?
[11:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Maybe that's. No, no, I always thought it was. Is it Tyga? Oh, that. I think Ty.
[11:28]
Scott Aukerman
Akin to a tiger.
[11:29]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, that's right. Okay. Well, regardless, he's at the game right now singing for two hours, waiting for a pup to come in.
[11:36]
Scott Aukerman
Because the pump comes in in an hour, and then it takes an hour to get the ball.
[11:40]
Ike Barinholtz
Just. Just someone proper talking to them, being like, there's a big five on Wilshire. I could go get it right now. They're like, no, it's got to be the league.
[11:48]
Scott Aukerman
So then what I'm being told is Isla Gordon.
[11:53]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[11:53]
Scott Aukerman
Is a Los Angeles executive.
[11:56]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[11:57]
Scott Aukerman
That. That would be enough for a lot of other shows.
[11:59]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, my. Louisiana law. Sure.
[12:01]
Scott Aukerman
The LA executive. That's. This is a good idea for a show.
[12:04]
Ike Barinholtz
We don't know what they do. She basically. It's. It's.
[12:09]
Scott Aukerman
It's loose now, let me say.
[12:11]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, Sorry.
[12:12]
Scott Aukerman
She's unexpectedly appointed head of the family business. Good.
[12:16]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[12:17]
Scott Aukerman
Is that it?
[12:17]
Ike Barinholtz
And that's it.
[12:18]
Scott Aukerman
No. Oh, wait.
[12:19]
Ike Barinholtz
That business is the Mafia. This is a Mafia company tapping people in the head.
[12:25]
Scott Aukerman
I always wanted to see that.
[12:26]
Ike Barinholtz
That was fun. Ghoul.
[12:29]
Scott Aukerman
Which. The business, which happens to be. Just happens to be. Or it sounds like. Like they didn't work hard at the business. It's like, oh, we started a business, and then it just happened to be one of the most famous professional basketball franchises. This is. It's like, guys, there are a lot of blood, sweat and tears went into this.
[12:48]
Ike Barinholtz
So I wrote this copy. So I'm just. I'm taking notes.
[12:51]
Scott Aukerman
So it happens to be one of the most famous professional basketball franchises in the country.
[12:57]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[12:58]
Scott Aukerman
That's enough. But then, guess what? There's another dash when her older brother publicly flames out and appoints her the new owner. Boom, boom. Who's this brother?
[13:09]
Ike Barinholtz
The brother is played by an actor named Justin Theroux.
[13:12]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[13:13]
Ike Barinholtz
Holland Drive, Mulholland Drive. Beautiful, beautiful movie. And, yeah, he plays her older brother. It's loosely based off of the family of Jeie Buss, who owns the Los Angeles Lakers, which.
[13:26]
Scott Aukerman
There's another show about the Lakers.
[13:28]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes, it's not on anymore. It was called Winning Time.
[13:31]
Scott Aukerman
Winning Time.
[13:31]
Ike Barinholtz
And this is.
[13:32]
Scott Aukerman
This is running time. What is this?
[13:39]
Ike Barinholtz
This is running Point.
[13:40]
Scott Aukerman
But players, it's running time.
[13:44]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, man.
[13:45]
Scott Aukerman
It's. Before you go out. It's also dribbling time.
[13:48]
Ike Barinholtz
Don't forget shooting time.
[13:51]
Scott Aukerman
People are just out there running, dribbling, forgetting about the shooting.
[13:54]
Ike Barinholtz
Final score, 020. It's running point. The running time is about 29 minutes and change, I think, for the pilot. But, yeah, it's. It's not like that other show because it's on, first of all.
[14:07]
Scott Aukerman
Right.
[14:08]
Ike Barinholtz
As you can see, it's. And it's. It's. It's more like me out. Well, no, that came off very catty. I did not mean it to be catty.
[14:18]
Scott Aukerman
Are your peers out there?
[14:20]
Ike Barinholtz
The difference between our show and that show is you can watch ours currently. No, it's.
[14:27]
Scott Aukerman
That was about the 70s team.
[14:29]
Ike Barinholtz
Exactly. That was 70s. This is more contemporary. And it's also fictionalized. It's not about.
[14:33]
Scott Aukerman
It's more contemporary. But I was reading it set in 2018. Like, why?
[14:37]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, it's. It's adult contemporary. It's a lot of, like, you know, we said it in 2018. We just thought that was a really good time.
[14:45]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. For everyone.
[14:46]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. Like, it's really kind of in the Pilot. The movie. Nope. Is coming out.
[14:51]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay.
[14:51]
Ike Barinholtz
And they all have tickets to go see. Nope. Yeah. And so that's kind of one of the. The plot points.
[14:58]
Scott Aukerman
Is this gonna be like the morning show where the next season is all about the. The season where they got Covid.
[15:04]
Ike Barinholtz
We're two years. Or what was the. The Aaron Sorkin show? The News, which was 16 months ahead.
[15:10]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. But in an alternate universe as well, where whatever TV station this was, was existed, first of all, and was huge.
[15:19]
Ike Barinholtz
I love the news.
[15:20]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[15:21]
Scott Aukerman
But in any case, so this is Kate Hudson. She is the. The head of now a basketball team.
[15:27]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[15:28]
Scott Aukerman
And she. Does she know anything about basketball?
[15:31]
Ike Barinholtz
She actually does know a lot about basketball. She was just kind of like. She was like a late 90s party girl, kind of rich LA brat whose life kind of just wasn't panning out.
[15:43]
Scott Aukerman
Who's Jeannie? Jeannie Bus is.
[15:46]
Ike Barinholtz
Jimmy is the daughter of Jerry Buss.
[15:48]
Scott Aukerman
Right. But she's married to someone now.
[15:49]
Ike Barinholtz
She's married to Jay Moore.
[15:50]
Scott Aukerman
That's right.
[15:50]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, she married Jay.
[15:51]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[15:52]
Ike Barinholtz
But so that again, is lightly fictionalized. Jeannie, I think, was a much a very serious person who was always working at the company. But we wanted to kind of just take this person. Fish out of water is a fish out of water.
[16:02]
Scott Aukerman
There we go.
[16:03]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, it would.
[16:03]
Scott Aukerman
But she knows. But she knows enough about basketball where she's like, you know, I think air is okay. I'll go.
[16:09]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, she doesn't die. She doesn't die.
[16:11]
Scott Aukerman
She doesn't die.
[16:11]
Ike Barinholtz
Like a true fish out of water. She's dead in three minutes.
[16:14]
Scott Aukerman
And the show is three minutes into the show.
[16:16]
Ike Barinholtz
She's for breath, dead, shaking on the ground.
[16:21]
Scott Aukerman
And this is a good show.
[16:23]
Ike Barinholtz
And it is a comedy. It is a comedy. Yeah. So I wouldn't really call a fish out of water. Okay. Yeah. Like fishing water.
[16:30]
Scott Aukerman
But, but, but, but fish water is.
[16:33]
Ike Barinholtz
Fish in a brand new water.
[16:36]
Scott Aukerman
Sure.
[16:36]
Ike Barinholtz
Fish. Like, there's fish in this pond over here.
[16:38]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[16:39]
Ike Barinholtz
We've taken the fish, we've driven it three towns away to a totally different pond.
[16:43]
Scott Aukerman
But there's other fish in this pond.
[16:45]
Ike Barinholtz
Other fish. But they don't know them.
[16:46]
Scott Aukerman
They don't know the fish. But gets to know the other.
[16:48]
Ike Barinholtz
They get to know them. But it's a little rocky at first. But the good thing is she lives. She has the water flows through her gills and she's able to produce.
[16:57]
Scott Aukerman
Right. By the way, little Rocky. That's a good idea for a movie, right? Little Rocky. So it's like Goo Goo Gaga. Who am I doing? I'm trying to do Sylvester Stallone.
[17:10]
Ike Barinholtz
You mean baby Rocky? Not even little Rocky.
[17:13]
Scott Aukerman
Well, I mean, to be littler than Sylvester Stallone. By the way, one of our greatest Hollywood ambassadors.
[17:19]
Ike Barinholtz
Now, he is my favorite Hollywood ambassador. I'm meeting with him later this afternoon.
[17:24]
Scott Aukerman
Just to clear this show.
[17:25]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah.
[17:26]
Scott Aukerman
To make sure it can come out.
[17:27]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah.
[17:27]
Ike Barinholtz
And I want to pitch a couple other things. Things.
[17:29]
Scott Aukerman
Rocky, of course, little Rocky.
[17:31]
Ike Barinholtz
I want to make a movie about Jesus. But he's. He's a Marine.
[17:36]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[17:37]
Ike Barinholtz
Which I think I want Stallone to play it. Great. Yeah.
[17:40]
Scott Aukerman
Not too old for this.
[17:41]
Ike Barinholtz
No. I mean, he's the most, I think, mentally with it. Of their three ambassadors.
[17:48]
Scott Aukerman
Of the three ambassadors. Of course, I did pick up the ambassadors if you.
[17:51]
Ike Barinholtz
I did hear a clip of one of our ambassadors, Mel Gibson.
[17:55]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, yes, I heard he's one of the three.
[17:58]
Ike Barinholtz
I heard a clip of him on the Joe Rogan podcast and he was like, it was so funny. He was like, like, I remember like 20 years ago when the tape came out of him screaming at like his wife. And it's like, I want to kill you. And I remember thinking.
[18:12]
Scott Aukerman
And other things.
[18:13]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, a couple other things.
[18:14]
Scott Aukerman
Look them up.
[18:15]
Ike Barinholtz
You can Google those if your computer will allow it. But I remember at the time being like, oh, man, he's so mad. Mad. Like, I've never heard someone so pissed.
[18:24]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, like, like you've gotten mad, I'm sure, in an argument with your loved ones.
[18:28]
Ike Barinholtz
But I've never been like shaking.
[18:31]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[18:32]
Ike Barinholtz
And then I heard him on Joe Rogan and he just talks like that.
[18:34]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay.
[18:35]
Ike Barinholtz
It's like he's just always that Matt. And he was, he was talking about. Oh, my God. It was the funniest clip. He was like, he was like. And there's a lot of things that aren't true out there, like this global warming and the ice caps are melting.
[18:48]
Scott Aukerman
He's upset about this.
[18:50]
Ike Barinholtz
He goes, he goes, you ever have a glass of water and there's ice in it and the ice melts? The water doesn't spill everywhere, does it? And it was just so sick. It was so cool to see like a 75 year old man not know.
[19:03]
Scott Aukerman
What a glacier is comparing you to.
[19:06]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. He's like, yeah. It's like, no, that's not quite. That analogy doesn't quite quite work.
[19:12]
Scott Aukerman
The water doesn't spill out every. What are you talking. Okay, well, anyway, he's one of our great ambassadors.
[19:16]
Ike Barinholtz
We love him, we love Hollywood.
[19:18]
Scott Aukerman
But Running Point is coming out on Thursday and who else Is in this show because this, it's a star studded cast by. From what I can tell, you have Justin Thoreau.
[19:29]
Ike Barinholtz
We have Justin Theroux.
[19:30]
Scott Aukerman
Joining Hudson in the comedy are Scott MacArthur.
[19:32]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[19:33]
Scott Aukerman
And Drew Tarver.
[19:34]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, he's a French actor we found.
[19:39]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[19:40]
Ike Barinholtz
He's like, he started off as a mime but then kind of graduated to like French improv, which is totally different than American improv.
[19:47]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, really?
[19:47]
Ike Barinholtz
It's just very condescending.
[19:50]
Scott Aukerman
It's like non.
[19:52]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. And you've heard of. Yes. And yeah, this is Null.
[19:54]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, yeah. Drew Tarvae as Isla's brothers.
[19:58]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[19:58]
Scott Aukerman
Then you have Max Greenfield as her fiance.
[20:01]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[20:02]
Scott Aukerman
And then to top it all off, the cherry on the Sunday, Brenda Song.
[20:05]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[20:06]
Scott Aukerman
As a high level team staffer.
[20:07]
Ike Barinholtz
The greatest. Also Jay Ellis is on there. Chet Hanks is on there.
[20:13]
Scott Aukerman
Chet Hanks, otherwise AKA Chet Hayes.
[20:16]
Ike Barinholtz
Chad Hayes. Chet is one of the star players in the team and he's fantastic on the show. He's amazing. Oh, great. He's great.
[20:25]
Scott Aukerman
Does he get to rap as well or is he.
[20:26]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes, he does.
[20:27]
Scott Aukerman
Was that contractual by us.
[20:32]
Ike Barinholtz
We demanded he did that. And yeah, he really actually killed it.
[20:37]
Scott Aukerman
Fantastic. And let's see, what is running point about Isla? The only sister in a family of brothers is ambitious and often overlooked. But when her brother is forced to resign from his position as president of the Los Angeles Waves. What is this? The Los Angeles what?
[20:54]
Ike Barinholtz
The waves. Like, you know, you're surfing a wave. What do you think? It's like this.
[20:58]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, the wave. Doing the wave in the stadium.
[21:01]
Ike Barinholtz
So but that would mean that there's lots of waves going on in la.
[21:06]
Scott Aukerman
So the fans of thousands of people, the fans are doing the waves during the games. And then the players also have to do the waves. The players have to do during the game.
[21:16]
Ike Barinholtz
They stop the game and the players all get into a circle.
[21:20]
Scott Aukerman
So you couldn't get the rights to a real team.
[21:24]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, no, that was a conscious decision by us.
[21:27]
Scott Aukerman
You were conscious during this?
[21:28]
Ike Barinholtz
We were conscious most of the show we wrote. We were passed out. We were like our writing processes. Have you seen Alien?
[21:34]
Scott Aukerman
I have aliens.
[21:35]
Ike Barinholtz
You know how they get in those tanks and they chambers?
[21:38]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I love. That's the biggest part of Aliens. That's how I turn it off right after that.
[21:42]
Ike Barinholtz
So you just think it's like a nice peaceful movie. That's how we write the show. We get into these tanks and we.
[21:49]
Scott Aukerman
Enter a state of just turn on the AI.
[21:51]
Ike Barinholtz
Turn on the AI. Wrote most of the show and did a really Great job. But this is a WGA sanctioned AI.
[21:58]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay. Really?
[21:59]
Ike Barinholtz
This is the first sanctioned, actual member of the wga?
[22:03]
Scott Aukerman
Who is AI?
[22:04]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[22:05]
Scott Aukerman
So who's the member? Like, your computer is the member, or.
[22:07]
Ike Barinholtz
Or it's just like, user 0004h. They didn't bother even giving it, like, a name or some kind of fake identity, like, hi, I'm Solly. You know, it's. No, it's. It's none of that.
[22:17]
Scott Aukerman
It's just when you. When you applied to SAG or whatever, you have to do, like, you go join. Right?
[22:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[22:22]
Scott Aukerman
You know, that. That. It's. It's fraught with tension. The moment when you're in the office and they say, all right, let's look up your name to see if you can keep using it.
[22:32]
Ike Barinholtz
I did not have that problem. Yeah, they didn't have any. I don. Old school garbage men from Kiev.
[22:42]
Scott Aukerman
I mean, I didn't think I was gonna have the problem either, but it's just in that, like, 15 seconds when they're looking it up, you're gonna be.
[22:48]
Ike Barinholtz
Like, am I gonna be known as J. Scott Alkerman?
[22:50]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. You know, or were you, you know, like Isaac Barinholtz, you know?
[22:54]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, no, I was luckily, Ike Barinholtz, but I have multiple friends who had to do, like, little tweaks and stuff. Yeah. Kevin Spacey was actually Kevin Space. His real name is Kevin Space High. And there was another high. It's just S, P, A, C, E.
[23:12]
Scott Aukerman
H, I, H, I.
[23:14]
Ike Barinholtz
And he wanted to go with that. And there was another guy. The name. So he went with Spacey.
[23:17]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. These are the kind of facts that, you know when you're good friends with Kevin Spacey. Like, Ike Baron holds his.
[23:22]
Ike Barinholtz
I mean, he doesn't live in the country anymore, but we still talk. Sure.
[23:26]
Scott Aukerman
So Running Point is out on Thursday. Is there anything else you want people to know about this show? What's important for our listeners? To get them. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm seeing a little picture of everyone at a meeting, and there's like a sort of.
[23:43]
Ike Barinholtz
The show is mostly about meetings.
[23:46]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, good.
[23:46]
Ike Barinholtz
There's not a lot of, like, character development. There's not, like, even really, like.
[23:51]
Scott Aukerman
So it's the first sitcom told exclusively through meetings.
[23:55]
Ike Barinholtz
It's like Microsoft groups, basically, where it's like. But you see actors. So it's like a typical scene on the show is this.
[24:02]
Scott Aukerman
Now here's a picture where two characters are sitting on a couch, and they.
[24:06]
Ike Barinholtz
They're watching a meeting on the. They're watching a meeting.
[24:09]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. Just wanted to keep you it.
[24:10]
Ike Barinholtz
So, like, my. One of my favorite lines in the show is Kate Hudson comes in. It's like our third quarter numbers are down. And Brendan goes, let me bring up the chart. And it's just like, it's so good.
[24:20]
Scott Aukerman
It just runs.
[24:21]
Ike Barinholtz
It's like you can imagine kind of where it goes from there.
[24:23]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, that's a hot place to start a scene.
[24:25]
Ike Barinholtz
It's just that. It's just the scene is the show. It's a show for people who, when they're at work and they're sitting in a meeting, think like, I, I love this. I wish I could.
[24:34]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I wish I could have more of this at home.
[24:35]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes. Yes.
[24:36]
Scott Aukerman
Wonderful. Well, it's out this Thursday. And is this make or break for you in terms of your career?
[24:43]
Ike Barinholtz
This is the one. This is it, folks. And I listen you got you folks. Can I, can I make an appeal to your listeners real quick, folks? I've been on this podcast many times, and every time you have bailed me out. And I have stayed in this business through this, through the skin of my teeth and your largesse by their grace. Yeah. And I want to thank you, and I want to keep the Ike train rolling. And so if you're able to, when you hear this, set a reminder alarm on your, on your, on your phone.
[25:11]
Scott Aukerman
Because it comes out at 11:50.
[25:13]
Ike Barinholtz
It drops at 11:59.
[25:14]
Scott Aukerman
On Wednesday night.
[25:15]
Ike Barinholtz
On Wednesday night.
[25:16]
Scott Aukerman
So do a five minute before 11:55.
[25:18]
Ike Barinholtz
If you wake up, you're gonna want to pee, probably. If you're like me, you're gonna want to hit the john, then go down, and you don't even have to watch a show, just press play. But if you could do this one and bail me out of this, because if not, I have.
[25:30]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I'm out.
[25:31]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. This is it. This is it for you. So this may be your last time on the podcast. Yeah.
[25:36]
Ike Barinholtz
And I love it. I don't want to move. I don't want to move out of, of the state. I don't want to leave the business.
[25:41]
Scott Aukerman
And you would probably have to leave your family as well.
[25:43]
Ike Barinholtz
I have to go find work. Yeah. Yeah, I have to find work. They're a shame. I, I, I'm begging you, if you're listening to this podcast, please watch this.
[25:51]
Scott Aukerman
We need Ike's standard of living to continue at the, at the pace it is now.
[25:57]
Ike Barinholtz
You guys, I don't. This is a little personal. My Rivian was in a fender bender last week, and insurance. I've been Told because it was my fault. Vault will not cover it.
[26:10]
Scott Aukerman
What kind of fender bender? Exactly.
[26:12]
Ike Barinholtz
I, I. Do you Remember the old RVs on Sunset?
[26:15]
Scott Aukerman
Sure. Yeah.
[26:16]
Ike Barinholtz
It's a Prince street pizza now. And I, I, I, I drove into it intentionally. Insurance will not cover it.
[26:27]
Scott Aukerman
Okay, so we need this show to be a hit. Otherwise, otherwise it all comes crashing down. It's a house of cards right now.
[26:33]
Ike Barinholtz
Otherwise it's, it's the old Arby's. It comes crashing down. So please, please watch the show. And if you like the show, you could find me on Venmo and you can shoot me a couple bucks.
[26:46]
Scott Aukerman
That would, that would be okay.
[26:47]
Ike Barinholtz
Maybe great. I keep the show going. Maybe.
[26:48]
Scott Aukerman
I think that showrunners deserve tips, don't you?
[26:51]
Ike Barinholtz
You know what, man? Now, now we're getting to something.
[26:56]
Scott Aukerman
You know, if you like, if you like a show, send the creator a tip on Venmo.
[27:00]
Ike Barinholtz
This is a little QVC code. Yeah, QR code.
[27:04]
Scott Aukerman
Waiters get tips.
[27:05]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. Showrunners, all they're doing is bringing food that someone else made for you.
[27:09]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, we're making the things.
[27:11]
Ike Barinholtz
We're making the thing. We're showing it to you. We bring you to your house.
[27:14]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[27:15]
Ike Barinholtz
Tip us.
[27:15]
Scott Aukerman
Please Tip us. Running point out this Thursday. We need to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have a doctor. We also have a Bostonian. This is a show.
[27:24]
Ike Barinholtz
This is a lot going on.
[27:25]
Scott Aukerman
I am so glad you're here. We're going to be right back with more Ike, Baron Holtz, more Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. Ike Barinholtz is here. He is the mastermind and maestro. Co maestro.
[27:42]
Ike Barinholtz
Co mastermind and co maestro.
[27:44]
Scott Aukerman
Right.
[27:45]
Ike Barinholtz
There's all. Every symphony has three conductors.
[27:48]
Scott Aukerman
The good ones.
[27:49]
Ike Barinholtz
It's true.
[27:50]
Scott Aukerman
I mean, it's such a huge orchestra. You go to the Hollywood bowl or whatever and see the Hollywood Pops or whatever. There's like 75 people.
[27:58]
Ike Barinholtz
How.
[27:58]
Scott Aukerman
Why don't we split it up, up between three people? Like all 75 are supposed to watch one guy.
[28:03]
Ike Barinholtz
I'll take the strings. You take the woodwinds. You got percussion. Let's do this.
[28:06]
Scott Aukerman
And we'll hold hands while we do it. And we'll be squeezing our hands to make sure we stay on tempo. This is a good idea. Running point. This Thursday, people should watch Kate Hudson. Drew Tarve. So many people. Let's get to our next guest.
[28:21]
Ike Barinholtz
I love it.
[28:22]
Scott Aukerman
This is a medical professional. He's been on the show many times before. He is the creator of the Heimlich maneuver. Have. Has this ever been used on you, Ike?
[28:32]
Ike Barinholtz
I've never been Heimliched. I choked, but I managed to get it out.
[28:36]
Scott Aukerman
You're. This is a self getting it out.
[28:38]
Ike Barinholtz
This is self getting out. This is a self kind of hitting and, and bending over and then. And then my wife slapping my back.
[28:44]
Scott Aukerman
So your wife, you, your wife has an assist on this.
[28:47]
Ike Barinholtz
She has an assist on this. And this happens quite a bit. So I have to. I'm very curious to hear what the good doctor.
[28:52]
Scott Aukerman
Well, please welcome back to the show Dr. Henry Heimlich.
[28:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Hello, Scott. How are you?
[28:57]
Scott Aukerman
I am so good.
[28:57]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's so good to see you. It's so good to see you. And Ike, I, I, it's so nice that you sort of use the maneuver for the slap. Your wife's slap.
[29:07]
Ike Barinholtz
So that's. You also take credit for the slap.
[29:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, no, no, no. You start with the maneuver, and then you move on to any means necessary.
[29:14]
Ike Barinholtz
That's very true.
[29:15]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So you slap, squeeze, exert, fall, kick, anything to get abdomen, squeeze, Abdomen squeezing up, and you get it out.
[29:29]
Scott Aukerman
Anything that gets it out. But it, but before you created this maneuver, that was. Those were the only means that people knew of.
[29:35]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. People were falling out all the time. Choking. Little chunk of meat cracker, peanut butter. Done.
[29:45]
Scott Aukerman
And the chunky peanut butter.
[29:47]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, chunky.
[29:48]
Scott Aukerman
The smooth just slides well. Yeah.
[29:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I was like. When the chunky came out, everybody. Oh, we love this. We love this. We love this. This choke. Choke. Choke. Dead, dead, dead. I said, we need to make this cream.
[29:58]
Scott Aukerman
They should call it chokey peanut butter choke.
[30:00]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
That's what I was pushing for.
[30:02]
Ike Barinholtz
This is. And so you were the one that said, we should make this creamy.
[30:07]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I came out. I was. I, I was really more creaminess in food. And then I had to pivot to the manuf.
[30:15]
Ike Barinholtz
Wow.
[30:16]
Scott Aukerman
Now you came out with a more creaminess campaign, and people didn't know exactly what you were talking about. Right? Yeah.
[30:21]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I was just like, we need some makes this creamy. I love all you people sitting down eating prime rib. Can we blend it, make it creamy rib?
[30:28]
Scott Aukerman
Well, that would be your preference then is everyone just drinks liquids instead of eating food. Right.
[30:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, it's, it's. I'm caught in between because I love when people don't choke, but I also love when they say my name and use the maneuver.
[30:42]
Scott Aukerman
Sure. And you get, you get paid a little bit to the residuals when people use.
[30:47]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I used to, but I sold those, the resistance residuals.
[30:49]
Ike Barinholtz
Really?
[30:49]
Scott Aukerman
To who? To AEG or something. Oh, ascap. Oh, wow.
[30:54]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[30:55]
Scott Aukerman
So the people that protect your residuals now own them. Seems like a conflict of interest.
[31:00]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. Is the American Association.
[31:04]
Scott Aukerman
So there's a different go with the.
[31:06]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
S. The American association of choking upon people.
[31:11]
Scott Aukerman
Upon.
[31:11]
Ike Barinholtz
People.
[31:14]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Ask upon. Yes. So I, I, you know, but there were many, many different things that I tried before as a maneuver. You remember throat bugs?
[31:26]
Ike Barinholtz
Sure.
[31:26]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[31:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Bugs trained to go in and get it out.
[31:28]
Ike Barinholtz
Right, Right.
[31:29]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Very difficult to train some bugs.
[31:31]
Scott Aukerman
That's. That was the biggest problem.
[31:33]
Ike Barinholtz
Almost impossible.
[31:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Because they're not like dogs.
[31:35]
Scott Aukerman
In theory.
[31:35]
Ike Barinholtz
No, no, not like dogs.
[31:36]
Scott Aukerman
It sounds perfect.
[31:37]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[31:37]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
In theory, like. Oh, first thought, throat bugs. Choking. What?
[31:42]
Scott Aukerman
What?
[31:42]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Just knee jerk.
[31:43]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, throw bugs. Of course. But then when in person.
[31:46]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I'm not the first person to think of throat bugs.
[31:49]
Scott Aukerman
But you were the first person to literally try to train to get the bugs.
[31:52]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Become friends with them, trains them, get to trust.
[31:54]
Scott Aukerman
Becoming friends with them. So wait, get their trust comes after training them, Sleep with them?
[32:01]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[32:02]
Scott Aukerman
In the same bed?
[32:03]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. But yeah, like, you know, not creepy.
[32:07]
Scott Aukerman
No.
[32:08]
Ike Barinholtz
This is a. I mean you sleep with your friends.
[32:10]
Scott Aukerman
Sure. This is a non creepy version of.
[32:11]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Sleeping with friends bugs. You don't sleep where you eat. You know what I mean?
[32:16]
Ike Barinholtz
That is true.
[32:16]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. So.
[32:18]
Ike Barinholtz
So they would go in the throat that your idea was they would go in the throat.
[32:22]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[32:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Eat the food and then come.
[32:23]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, no. They would grab it and pull it out. Right?
[32:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
They would grab it and pull it out. They can't. They don't get high on zone supply.
[32:30]
Ike Barinholtz
Are these, Are these like large beetles or these like thousands of ants? I wonder.
[32:35]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, we tried one big bug and.
[32:38]
Scott Aukerman
People would choke on that.
[32:39]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[32:40]
Ike Barinholtz
That would cause you're putting a choking hazard on top of esophageal blockage.
[32:44]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[32:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So then we had little bugs and it's hard to get a lot of guys in the same direction. You know, there's. You got to have one main guy.
[32:53]
Scott Aukerman
There's always one who really wants to do it.
[32:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh my gosh. Yeah. There's the teacher's pet.
[32:58]
Ike Barinholtz
There's always a class clown bug.
[33:00]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, you can't get him. He's. He's making fun of this blockage, poking fun at it.
[33:05]
Scott Aukerman
He's sitting in the back of the throat just laughing at everything.
[33:08]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. So that it didn't work. I tried lung teeth. Lung teeth? Of course.
[33:13]
Scott Aukerman
What are long teeth again?
[33:14]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
They're just an extra set of teeth down in your windpipe to chew. Ah, that was tough. Very difficult.
[33:23]
Scott Aukerman
It's like open heart Surgery.
[33:25]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh.
[33:25]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, it takes weeks.
[33:27]
Ike Barinholtz
Weeks.
[33:28]
Scott Aukerman
Wait, I said it was like open heart surgery, and you said. Yes, it takes weeks. Open heart surgery doesn't take weeks to do.
[33:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, I mean, it takes longer than the open heart surgery. Yeah, it was like.
[33:38]
Scott Aukerman
I. I mean, a medical procedure where you're out for weeks. That's.
[33:41]
Ike Barinholtz
It's just. It's so invasive for such a. It's such a preventable small.
[33:47]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
And I wanted to teach. They look nice, so I would get in there. They don't look straight. I do veneers.
[33:53]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, yeah.
[33:54]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Cosmetic lung teeth. Smile.
[33:57]
Ike Barinholtz
If they start moving in the lung, you have to reopen them up and put braces on them. Exactly.
[34:03]
Scott Aukerman
So 13 years after they're installed.
[34:05]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. Finding this dentist for them.
[34:07]
Ike Barinholtz
And then they would eat the popcorn and the popcorn corn would get caught in their lung braces.
[34:11]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I tried a DARE style program.
[34:14]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay.
[34:15]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Chalk. Because you want to do the four letters.
[34:19]
Ike Barinholtz
You mean dare? Dare to keep your children off truck.
[34:22]
Scott Aukerman
That's not what DARE stands for, is it? Dare DT, key C. Right.
[34:28]
Ike Barinholtz
But it is. I would see date D, A, R.
[34:31]
Scott Aukerman
E. To keep your kids off drugs.
[34:33]
Ike Barinholtz
So it's probably like drug.
[34:34]
Scott Aukerman
Drugs are really bad. No, Darb. Drugs are really.
[34:40]
Ike Barinholtz
Drugs are really.
[34:41]
Scott Aukerman
Ew.
[34:41]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. Drugs are really called chalk.
[34:44]
Scott Aukerman
What's chalk? C, H, C, H, O, K. Okay, okay.
[34:49]
Ike Barinholtz
Almost joke.
[34:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's very close. You don't want to do five, but have you seen five letters? It doesn't work.
[34:55]
Scott Aukerman
We can't even remember what the four for dare are.
[34:58]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No. Yeah. So we would want the children of choking. And we had. We had a Smokey the Bear style.
[35:07]
Ike Barinholtz
Chokey the Bear.
[35:08]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It was not Chokey the Bear. We should have gone with Chokey the Bear, but it was William the Wrong pipe dolphin. And that was. He didn't really take off. You know, he would give a short speech, choke, and then we would just turn the lights off.
[35:23]
Scott Aukerman
He'd give a short speech. What's the speech he's giving about?
[35:28]
Ike Barinholtz
Food safety?
[35:30]
Scott Aukerman
Or is this just about politics or what kind of speech?
[35:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
We would let him do whatever. It was a lot of times. Politics.
[35:37]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[35:37]
Ike Barinholtz
He was pretty angry also about a libertarian.
[35:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. He was like, just stop. Let people do what they want. If they want to do drugs, let them die. You know?
[35:46]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay. A hardliner.
[35:48]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. He was pretty incense. But luckily he would show.
[35:53]
Scott Aukerman
So. And. And this was a planned choking, but a real one.
[35:57]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. Well, weirdly, we were like. And then you choke it. He just did it.
[36:00]
Ike Barinholtz
Right.
[36:01]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
But yeah, it was.
[36:02]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, he would choke it's hard to choke on command.
[36:04]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's so hard.
[36:05]
Ike Barinholtz
Not if the fish is big enough.
[36:07]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[36:07]
Ike Barinholtz
And they're eating whole fish. Yeah.
[36:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
He would. He would throw down, you know, a couple of whole fish, you know, from the bucket.
[36:16]
Scott Aukerman
Sure, from the bucket.
[36:18]
Ike Barinholtz
Of course, we've all fed dolphins.
[36:21]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I. I love feeding dolphin with a whole bucket.
[36:25]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[36:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's fun, right?
[36:27]
Scott Aukerman
It is. I mean, that's the thing. It's like, what other types of food other than KFC comes in a bucket.
[36:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Bucket.
[36:33]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Very few fish for dolphins and chicken for.
[36:35]
Ike Barinholtz
For humans.
[36:36]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. I'm trying to sing. Nothing else.
[36:42]
Scott Aukerman
So. So, yeah, this was unsuccessful, mainly because of the Smokey the Bear style. What was his name again?
[36:48]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
We. William the Wrong Pipe Dolphin.
[36:51]
Louis Pantano
Okay.
[36:53]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
And then I did a Hell House. Remember this?
[36:56]
Scott Aukerman
I remember the Hell Houses. They were like haunted houses, but Christian.
[36:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. There would be like two kids and one bad and one good, and there'd be storylines and then one of the kids, which. Both of the kids would choke and die. And then one of them would go to heaven and one of them go to hell.
[37:10]
Scott Aukerman
Wait, so it was not prevented, the choking and dying?
[37:13]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, no, no. It was just like, you can die.
[37:16]
Scott Aukerman
Show what happens if you choke.
[37:18]
Ike Barinholtz
But why. But why would he go to. If he didn't save him, why would he go to hell?
[37:22]
Scott Aukerman
One would go to heaven and one would go to hell due to.
[37:25]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, you wanted to have a method message.
[37:27]
Scott Aukerman
Sure. But I was doing it.
[37:29]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I needed the. The churches. How does this do with God? And I was like, I'm just trying to get the word out. I'm choking. And they're like, well, we're trying to get the word out on the eternal judgment.
[37:38]
Scott Aukerman
What. What were the sins that the bad little boy. Oh, did?
[37:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Fingerings.
[37:46]
Scott Aukerman
That's a sin.
[37:48]
Ike Barinholtz
That's. Bullying's bad, I guess.
[37:49]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Bullying, fingerings, drinking, doing drugs. But they.
[37:57]
Scott Aukerman
Why is fingering on the first. That seems like the least.
[38:03]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Like the initial. Like before you start doing drugs, you'd start doing the fingerings.
[38:08]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, it's a gateway.
[38:09]
Ike Barinholtz
He seems like a cool guy. What did the other loser do?
[38:12]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
The other dead loser, the one that went to hell. Fingered nobody. Oh, so the fingering guy actually went to hell.
[38:20]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, wow. Plot twist list. Wow.
[38:23]
Scott Aukerman
So this is. But it all didn't work.
[38:25]
Ike Barinholtz
I understand why the church just didn't like it.
[38:27]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, I just. And I. Like I said, I sold my royalties, so I. And I've. My wife left me.
[38:33]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I'm so sorry.
[38:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I'm not doing well. Right. Despite my Fun.
[38:38]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[38:38]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I'm not doing.
[38:39]
Scott Aukerman
Well, you have a. I've spoken to you probably five times at this point, and you have a fun tone regardless.
[38:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Fun tone, even when talking about it, doesn't match the bit that's the emotion.
[38:51]
Scott Aukerman
Yes, exactly.
[38:52]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
But my wife left me for the person who invented cpr.
[38:56]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, no. Yes. I'm so sorry. Was it the Bee Gees who invented CPR because of the. Here's a fun way to know how to do it.
[39:06]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[39:06]
Scott Aukerman
Sing our song.
[39:07]
Ike Barinholtz
So your wife left you for Rob and Gibb.
[39:10]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. Yes.
[39:11]
Scott Aukerman
Who's passed away now.
[39:12]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[39:13]
Ike Barinholtz
My condolences for.
[39:15]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I mean, like. Like a famous corpse is better than a broke, alive man.
[39:22]
Scott Aukerman
I've always said that.
[39:23]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You've said this.
[39:24]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[39:24]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
And I spent all my money after this. Yeah.
[39:29]
Ike Barinholtz
I.
[39:29]
Scott Aukerman
All the ASCAP money is gone.
[39:31]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
All the ASCAP money is gone. I had a huge bar built in my house in the shape of a clogged esophagus, which cost me so much money.
[39:40]
Scott Aukerman
Was the bar the clog in the esophagus? Yes.
[39:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You got it.
[39:44]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[39:44]
Ike Barinholtz
So the room is the esophagus.
[39:46]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I'm sorry. The room is the esophagus, and the bar is.
[39:48]
Scott Aukerman
And the bar is the clog.
[39:49]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a custom Cadillac built to look like the shape of a small piece of shoe. I'm struggling.
[39:58]
Scott Aukerman
You're reading this, and you're struggling.
[40:03]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Again.
[40:03]
Scott Aukerman
Henry, I think the problem is you're trying to give us eye contact instead of just looking at your notes.
[40:08]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I know, but I. Trying to go back and forth, so I want to connect. Wrote down the things that. My life has been ruined.
[40:15]
Scott Aukerman
You're reading from your diary.
[40:16]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[40:16]
Ike Barinholtz
If I may ask. You said you had a custom Cadillac designed like a small piece of sushi.
[40:21]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Built to look like a small piece of sushi stuck in a throat.
[40:24]
Ike Barinholtz
But now. Okay, that's where I'm wondering, is the Cadillac, the throat and, like, the driver looks like a small piece of sushi. Yeah.
[40:31]
Scott Aukerman
What is. Who's.
[40:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Where's the sushi from? Whatever angle you're in.
[40:35]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay.
[40:35]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. I dress like a small piece of sushi from inside.
[40:39]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay. So any angle you look at, it looks like this.
[40:42]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It looks like this is. People come by, they comment on this. They know exactly what.
[40:46]
Scott Aukerman
Even an aerial view from, like, a real view. Look.
[40:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
But Zen, if you go a little bit. You know the. The chameleon cars, right, that change color, you. Then the car is a piece of sushi.
[41:00]
Scott Aukerman
You know, the chameleon cars that change color.
[41:02]
Ike Barinholtz
I don't think I've heard of those.
[41:03]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. They were, like, early 2000, sort of.
[41:06]
Scott Aukerman
Like they were all driving these.
[41:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It looks like almost like chrome, but purple, but green, but blue. I don't know.
[41:15]
Scott Aukerman
It was the Roy G. Biv card. Yeah, it was.
[41:17]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It was really cool, but I actually. I got it stuck in a tunnel on the way here. What? Yeah, I had to.
[41:24]
Scott Aukerman
That's ironic.
[41:25]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It is. I know. It's. I. My life is irony. It really is.
[41:33]
Scott Aukerman
Do you agree? Henry and I. I brought this up on a previous show with Stephanie Shoe and Shoe and Shaw, of course. Sasha Mamet. A hot dog is the only foodstuff that's in the shape of a throat, so people shouldn't eat them because they will get stuck there.
[41:49]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I can't believe I wasn't on that episode.
[41:51]
Scott Aukerman
I know. We were all saying, like, Henry should be here.
[41:54]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's perfect. It's. They made them perfect.
[41:57]
Scott Aukerman
They're exactly like this. It's almost like they're. Someone made a mold out of someone's throat and said, let's. Let's make a hot dog out of it.
[42:04]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, that's how my daughter died.
[42:06]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, that's right. You have dead.
[42:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Joking.
[42:10]
Ike Barinholtz
But. But wait, there's two dead.
[42:13]
Scott Aukerman
We talked about this on a previous show.
[42:15]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I think we did.
[42:15]
Scott Aukerman
Did you. Did you invent it because of that, or you had already invented it? I can't remember.
[42:19]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I was on my. I was almost there. So it wasn't like. It wasn't like, I. I will fix this problem.
[42:26]
Scott Aukerman
It was just. You were one step away.
[42:28]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[42:29]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I was so close.
[42:30]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[42:31]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
And I tried chopping, slapping, hitting, pushing. They were hurt from that, too.
[42:37]
Scott Aukerman
Right.
[42:37]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay. Argument. There's been a lot of arguments that. That's what did it.
[42:42]
Scott Aukerman
Right. If you would.
[42:44]
Ike Barinholtz
God.
[42:44]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I'm sorry.
[42:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
If I just had the squeeze, I could have done it.
[42:48]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. What are the steps again? It's.
[42:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's sneak.
[42:51]
Scott Aukerman
You sneak because you want them to be surprised.
[42:56]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Because, you know, if. So if you. If you. They say when you get in a car accident, don't tense up.
[43:01]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. It's the same if you fall out of a building. Just go limp.
[43:05]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Exactly. You want to sneak up because if they see you coming, they're like, here comes strong guy doing Heimlich.
[43:11]
Scott Aukerman
Right. So you need to sneak behind them.
[43:13]
Ike Barinholtz
What's the cue?
[43:14]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
What's the what?
[43:16]
Ike Barinholtz
Wait, what's the. What's the acronym of chalk?
[43:20]
Scott Aukerman
We just skipped over chalk.
[43:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Cha.
[43:22]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, that's just choke. That's just short for choke. I mean, children heed. Otherwise killed.
[43:34]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. Children he'd otherwise kill.
[43:36]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes, I think that's what it says.
[43:38]
Scott Aukerman
Or just chalk for joke. Yeah, exactly.
[43:42]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. So it's been a devastating life.
[43:45]
Scott Aukerman
I am so sorry.
[43:46]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's been a devastating life. Despite my fun tone, it's been really tough.
[43:51]
Scott Aukerman
These are tough times for you.
[43:52]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. I've been sneaking into the Soylent factory and adding little hunks of beef. Beef.
[43:58]
Ike Barinholtz
To increase choking. But why?
[44:01]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Because I want to. To be known again.
[44:03]
Ike Barinholtz
But everyone knows you.
[44:05]
Scott Aukerman
Everyone's everyone. Yeah, we talk about all the time.
[44:07]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
At least you talk about me all the time. Yeah.
[44:09]
Ike Barinholtz
There's also no other rival out there. And no one's like, oh, he's joking. Use the Anderson. Like, it's. It's like you own it.
[44:16]
Scott Aukerman
You're the only guy.
[44:16]
Ike Barinholtz
You're the guy.
[44:17]
Scott Aukerman
And there aren't any really any other maneuvers that are named after. There are diseases. There's Lou Gehri disease.
[44:23]
Ike Barinholtz
Right.
[44:23]
Scott Aukerman
You know, but I mean, you're the only guy with a maneuver. Are you? All right?
[44:29]
Ike Barinholtz
You just need a raise. Oh, come on.
[44:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I know, but it's. It's in my nature to be mad.
[44:36]
Scott Aukerman
To be jealous of someone just because they attach their name to a famous thing.
[44:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. Yes. Cedars Sinai. Who the hell is that?
[44:45]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, I mean, I think it's the Sinai Desert, probably.
[44:49]
Scott Aukerman
I don't want to say.
[44:50]
Ike Barinholtz
I mean, it's the Sinai family.
[44:52]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, them.
[44:54]
Scott Aukerman
What about the crypto.com arena? Do you get mad at that?
[44:56]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. Yes.
[44:59]
Ike Barinholtz
I don't like anything that has a name. You're like, no, them.
[45:04]
Scott Aukerman
So little babies when someone gives them a name.
[45:08]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, if. If they become famous for a medical procedure, maybe, or they own a building, possibly.
[45:15]
Ike Barinholtz
I just understand how we had thousands of years of. Of humanity, and at no point before when. 1980, no one went like, oh, he is joking.
[45:28]
Scott Aukerman
No one figured out the. The. Oh, you know what? If you blow one end of a straw, it gets the. The, you know, the peanut out.
[45:36]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes, but that was also one that you try to blow into the straw and you get it out of your throat.
[45:42]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Push.
[45:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Push it down further.
[45:44]
Scott Aukerman
Push it down further.
[45:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Hand on throat. Push into stomach. Was hard. That was hard.
[45:49]
Ike Barinholtz
Impossible.
[45:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
But I'm happy to be here because I'm so glad. And I'm happy to be here with Ike because I have. I need money, so I want to pitch television shows.
[46:00]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[46:01]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[46:01]
Scott Aukerman
Maybe you'll get some tips out of it.
[46:03]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. So I've. I've just, like. I think that it could Be good. My story, you know, is it like a.
[46:10]
Ike Barinholtz
Like a. Like a drama based on your life, or is it like a reality show? Like Dr. Pimple Pop?
[46:14]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, I think I could do a.
[46:16]
Scott Aukerman
Lot of different people come to his office in case. If he's choking and he.
[46:19]
Ike Barinholtz
My son's choking, can he come see you next Thursday? Sure.
[46:22]
Scott Aukerman
We'll get the cameras.
[46:23]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, we're pretty booked up. Next Thursday, please.
[46:26]
Ike Barinholtz
He doesn't have much time.
[46:28]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Is he willing to. To appear on my social media?
[46:31]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[46:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, so maybe now we're talking. But yeah, I had like a. Maybe, like, you could do a medical doctor show drama.
[46:40]
Ike Barinholtz
Like House.
[46:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, yeah, like.
[46:41]
Scott Aukerman
Like House. Er, the Pit.
[46:43]
Ike Barinholtz
The Good Doctor.
[46:44]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes, like. And call it, like, let's say, like, Hospital Maryland.
[46:49]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay.
[46:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay.
[46:51]
Scott Aukerman
Hospital, comma, Maryland.
[46:53]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. And this follows Dr. Henry Heimlich as he becomes the medical director of one of the oldest American public hospitals, aiming to reform the neglected facility by tearing up its bureaucracy, mostly by union busting and making nurses walk off site to their parking. Do we like?
[47:16]
Scott Aukerman
I like. I wouldn't put the comma in the title because the comma implies that it's Dr. Hospital, Maryland. So I would just.
[47:24]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Mostly I don't. I'm not tied to the name.
[47:27]
Scott Aukerman
No, you're not.
[47:28]
Ike Barinholtz
I actually think it works. There's actually a new show right now. Seriously? On CBS called FBI Colon CIA.
[47:35]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[47:36]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
See, so you just, like, add a bunch of things.
[47:40]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[47:41]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Maybe put the word syringe in there. I don't give a fuck. Hospital, Colon, Syringe, maybe.
[47:48]
Scott Aukerman
What, are you watching it out tonight?
[47:51]
Ike Barinholtz
Why. Why do you want to bust up the union?
[47:54]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, you gotta get rid of all the red tape. It's bullshit.
[47:58]
Louis Pantano
Okay.
[47:58]
Ike Barinholtz
All right.
[47:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So you can quickly, you know, solve people's problems.
[48:02]
Scott Aukerman
Does Henry's character merely administer the Heimlich or does he do other medical procedures as well?
[48:07]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, he's doing it all. He's the guy.
[48:10]
Scott Aukerman
Or is he an administration?
[48:12]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, he's mostly, like, doing off site parking.
[48:17]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[48:17]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Making sure, you know, no one organizes, keeping people from talking in the break room.
[48:22]
Ike Barinholtz
I will say it seems like this character is less interested about saving lives, more about being punitive towards the nurses.
[48:32]
Scott Aukerman
What?
[48:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, I don't. I'm not tied to this.
[48:34]
Scott Aukerman
Is there an episode, like a flashback episode, where we.
[48:37]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I want notes.
[48:37]
Scott Aukerman
We figure out why he's upset about the nurses or.
[48:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, yeah, you go to his childhood. His father, pretty conservative, yelling about unions and stuff.
[48:46]
Scott Aukerman
But the nurses. Why does he have a thing against the nurses?
[48:48]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
He doesn't like those clothes.
[48:51]
Ike Barinholtz
Let me ask you a question. Let's. Let's say I'm an executive and I do like this idea.
[48:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[48:55]
Ike Barinholtz
Who ideally, would you have playing Doctor Hospital, Maryland. Colon, Syringe.
[49:03]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Me.
[49:04]
Scott Aukerman
You want to be the actor?
[49:06]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I would like to.
[49:08]
Scott Aukerman
I'm worried about your fun tone during such a serious show.
[49:11]
Ike Barinholtz
I said, have you ever acted before? Ever?
[49:13]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, but I feel like I'm fun and good on camera.
[49:18]
Scott Aukerman
Why do you think you're good on camera? Because you're. You're an elderly gentleman.
[49:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. And I was thinking this could be something for, like, oh, God, I don't know. Brad Garrett.
[49:27]
Scott Aukerman
Sure. Yeah.
[49:27]
Ike Barinholtz
You know.
[49:28]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, yes.
[49:30]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[49:30]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I love him, but it's gotta be me. It's fine if you don't want me. I have different show.
[49:36]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay.
[49:36]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I have a different.
[49:37]
Scott Aukerman
This is even more forceful than NSync. It's got to be me.
[49:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's got to be me.
[49:44]
Scott Aukerman
Wow.
[49:44]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It's got to be me.
[49:46]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, you sing, too? Okay, you didn't say that.
[49:48]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, all right.
[49:49]
Scott Aukerman
This is like a man, kind of like, what was his medical show where he sings while he operates?
[49:54]
Ike Barinholtz
Chicago Hope.
[49:55]
Scott Aukerman
Chicago Hope, yes.
[49:57]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So this one is called Obstruction Island.
[50:00]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[50:01]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay. I love island type show where hot single men and things they could choke on, live in a house together and try to figure out who was meant to choke on what.
[50:12]
Scott Aukerman
Who was meant to choke on what by fate.
[50:14]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes.
[50:15]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
They hang out, they canoodle. You show, you know, people choking on things at the pool and other people. Like, I was supposed to choke on that? I thought we were having good chemistry.
[50:29]
Scott Aukerman
Henry, I'm worried you're still on your first page.
[50:35]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, this is. That might be the best one.
[50:39]
Scott Aukerman
That might be the best one.
[50:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Maybe.
[50:41]
Ike Barinholtz
What if they don't choke? What if no one chokes? What if the food is all papaya?
[50:44]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Cancel it.
[50:45]
Scott Aukerman
We just cancel it. There's. What about all of the sunk costs?
[50:49]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, we start yelling at them about.
[50:52]
Scott Aukerman
You know, trying to startle them into choking.
[50:54]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Be like, don't be nurses. Don't do that. You know, maybe we go more Hospital MD Syringe wizard on the island.
[51:03]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay. Okay.
[51:04]
Scott Aukerman
I don't know.
[51:04]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, I think it's.
[51:05]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, fine. How about this show? Masked Asphyxiator.
[51:10]
Scott Aukerman
The Masked Asphyxiator. Little hard to say.
[51:13]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, it's tough. But famous people dressed in costumes, hiding their identities, and celebrity judges have to eat the score they gave them and hopefully not choke.
[51:23]
Ike Barinholtz
That's not what I thought it was going to be. So don't worry.
[51:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I Had a few more pages.
[51:26]
Scott Aukerman
Have to eat the score that they gave them.
[51:29]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[51:29]
Ike Barinholtz
Eat what in the score? The weight in almonds or the actual numbers?
[51:33]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
The number. They have to hold up the number and then eat it. Ken, Jong and Dennis Robin almost died filming this.
[51:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay, so. So just. Okay, if we're using the masked singer as a template. So. So there's a. There's someone on stage who's not masked. There's like somewhere. It's just like Terry Bradshaw is on stage doing something.
[51:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
But.
[51:55]
Scott Aukerman
Yes, but. But mask.
[51:56]
Ike Barinholtz
He is mad, but.
[51:56]
Scott Aukerman
Okay, he is incidental to the choking.
[51:59]
Ike Barinholtz
The choking happens and the choking happens to the hosts. So. So Terry, Brad shows up. Is he singing? What's he doing?
[52:06]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Singing? Just like the show.
[52:07]
Ike Barinholtz
Just like the show.
[52:08]
Scott Aukerman
Okay, so then Terry. It's purely the masked singer. But.
[52:12]
Ike Barinholtz
So then Dr. Ken holds up the score, which I don't. I don't even know if they do that.
[52:16]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[52:16]
Ike Barinholtz
And let's say he gives him a eight points.
[52:19]
Scott Aukerman
I don't think they score people.
[52:20]
Ike Barinholtz
I don't think they do either. I think it's like an. I've never. The mask singer.
[52:24]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[52:25]
Ike Barinholtz
I can't talk about it because if I am, I would be masked, so I can't talk about it.
[52:28]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, well, maybe not Zen. Maybe this is just. They don't. They don't even have. They don't give them tens.
[52:34]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, I think they just kind of say like that.
[52:36]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I guess that would make sense because the whole thing is just like.
[52:38]
Scott Aukerman
Who's underneath it?
[52:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[52:41]
Scott Aukerman
You score them. I don't know. It's been a minute since.
[52:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
They should just give them a little.
[52:44]
Scott Aukerman
Score just for fun. Yeah.
[52:46]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You know, that was good. Terrible.
[52:47]
Ike Barinholtz
So then Dr. Ken holds up a 8.5.
[52:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Exactly.
[52:50]
Ike Barinholtz
Made of paper. He would choke on that, I guess.
[52:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
There you go, cracker.
[52:59]
Ike Barinholtz
You're.
[53:00]
Scott Aukerman
You're very concerned about cracker. A singular cracker. Do you have more shows?
[53:05]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I just has one more.
[53:06]
Scott Aukerman
You have one more.
[53:07]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay. This is Friday night exertion.
[53:09]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[53:10]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, so a, a, A coach in a small town, Texas. I didn't even write it right. Coach in a small town, Texas, where Friday night football is king. His team has a losing record, but he brings them all the way to the state championship after they let the quarterback of the other team choke on a rice cake at an awards banquet.
[53:32]
Scott Aukerman
They let him do this.
[53:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
They don't help him.
[53:36]
Scott Aukerman
They don't intervene.
[53:37]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
They just see it and they stay put. And the coach is like, don't help.
[53:42]
Scott Aukerman
Because this Friday night.
[53:42]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Don't Help. Because Friday night we plays a game.
[53:45]
Scott Aukerman
I like this. It feels like it's more of a one off special.
[53:48]
Ike Barinholtz
I also worry about the likability of the coach who would say, let him choke joke.
[53:52]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, right. So should he be union busting or how do we make it more likable? I don't know. I don't know.
[54:03]
Scott Aukerman
I don't. Henry.
[54:04]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I, I, I'm down on my luck. Despite my one tone.
[54:07]
Scott Aukerman
I w, I wish that they would give people shows just purely for the fact that they're down on their luck, but show business unfortunately doesn't work that way. It's a meritocracy, right?
[54:17]
Ike Barinholtz
It absolutely is.
[54:19]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[54:20]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. It's not about right place, right time.
[54:23]
Scott Aukerman
No.
[54:23]
Ike Barinholtz
Only, only working best people make it.
[54:25]
Scott Aukerman
That's a fact.
[54:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[54:27]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay. So, yeah, unfortunately I can't, I can't get on board any of these shows. But I, I think you should keep smarter.
[54:34]
Scott Aukerman
That's my advice to you because you're doing neither right now.
[54:36]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Right? Okay. Okay. I'll come back. I'll, I will go work hard, smarter, and I will come back.
[54:44]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. Yeah, this is good. I mean, I like, I like talking to you, so I love it here.
[54:49]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Please can I live here? Yeah, temporarily.
[54:52]
Scott Aukerman
Temp. How temporary.
[54:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Just for like six or seven years.
[54:57]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. You, you didn't even have me at six or seven. Even if it were days.
[55:03]
Ike Barinholtz
Hours, you're think thinking hours.
[55:05]
Scott Aukerman
Hours.
[55:06]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, I can stay here for six, seven hours.
[55:08]
Scott Aukerman
I'm out for this reason. I'm out. I'm so sorry.
[55:11]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, no. At least give me a score.
[55:14]
Scott Aukerman
8.3.
[55:16]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Don't eat it. Don't eat it.
[55:17]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, come here.
[55:22]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
What did you eat? Look what's on the table. Cracker.
[55:25]
Scott Aukerman
Cracker.
[55:26]
Ike Barinholtz
That says 8.4.
[55:28]
Scott Aukerman
All right, well, we need to take a break. Henry, can you stick around?
[55:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes, I'm here for six, seven hours.
[55:34]
Scott Aukerman
Okay, great.
[55:35]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I'll be here.
[55:35]
Scott Aukerman
When we come back, we're going to have a Bostonian. We are going to come right back. We'll have more Dr. Henry Heimlich, more Ike Baron Holtz will be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. Ike Barinholtz, aka Mr. Running Point is here. You need people to watch this weekend, right?
[56:00]
Ike Barinholtz
The this weekend. And, and if you don't, if, if we don't hit the Netflix numbers, I'm out.
[56:05]
Scott Aukerman
You're out.
[56:06]
Ike Barinholtz
I'm, I'm moving home.
[56:07]
Scott Aukerman
Hollywood's in the rear view.
[56:08]
Ike Barinholtz
Hollywood's in the rear view. Going back to Chicago and I'm gonna that' city, though. It is the second city, but I'll be working in the stockyards with my dad. With my dad.
[56:19]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, you're, wait, I thought your dad was the judge on jury duty.
[56:24]
Ike Barinholtz
He had a new show that didn't work out. They sent him back to the stock.
[56:26]
Scott Aukerman
They sent him back to the stockyards.
[56:28]
Ike Barinholtz
I know what some people say, oh, stockyards aren't there anymore. There's still a couple stockyards. And that's where it's rough. It's rough. People are getting all their meat from other countries.
[56:36]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Speaking of which, times are tough. We have Dr. Henry Heimlich here.
[56:39]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Times a tough, tough. But you got to have your fun tone. You got to keep your fun tone.
[56:44]
Scott Aukerman
Keep your fun tone, Ike. Yeah, it's true.
[56:46]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I, I, you have to keep the fun tone. You have to. And I know what you do at stockyards. I know what those are even.
[56:55]
Ike Barinholtz
And.
[56:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You but, and I know they're tough. And you're going to be toiling there.
[56:59]
Ike Barinholtz
It's hard.
[56:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You have to keep your fun tone.
[57:01]
Ike Barinholtz
I will remember that. It's, it's tough living, but I will try to keep that in mind.
[57:04]
Scott Aukerman
Well, let's get to our next guest. This is very exciting. I've never, never spoken to a Bostonian before, I think, ever, Ever. Yeah, I don't think so.
[57:12]
Ike Barinholtz
Chris Evans.
[57:13]
Scott Aukerman
No. Never had a conversation with Chris.
[57:15]
Ike Barinholtz
He's the only one.
[57:16]
Scott Aukerman
Mark.
[57:17]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, Mark, Mark. Mark Wahlberg. Donnie Wahlberg. Wahlbergers.
[57:20]
Scott Aukerman
I've never been to a Wahlburger. I don't know. So this is exciting. Please welcome. Oh, what is your name?
[57:32]
Louis Pantano
Louis Pantano.
[57:33]
Scott Aukerman
Louie Scott.
[57:34]
Louis Pantano
You don't remember me?
[57:36]
Scott Aukerman
No.
[57:37]
Louis Pantano
We start, we did comedy together. We started out together.
[57:39]
Scott Aukerman
We did Louie. Louis Pantano.
[57:42]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, Pantano. You remember me? You remember me.
[57:46]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, okay. Sure, sure.
[57:48]
Louis Pantano
Finally. Long time coming.
[57:49]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[57:50]
Louis Pantano
I good to see you again, too.
[57:51]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, yeah, yeah. I, I, I, I think we did we work.
[57:55]
Louis Pantano
Yeah. We were on a herald team at the improv Olympics together. Do you not remember?
[57:58]
Ike Barinholtz
I, you know what? I, I, it was a long time ago, but I do, I can't remember.
[58:03]
Scott Aukerman
Every single person you meet in your life.
[58:05]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, you, you seem different.
[58:07]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. You, I mean, like, you.
[58:09]
Ike Barinholtz
Don't I, you look very distinctive.
[58:11]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, yeah.
[58:12]
Louis Pantano
I mean, I'm a seagull. Is that what you're referring to?
[58:14]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to dancing around. You didn't want anyone?
[58:17]
Louis Pantano
No, no. Are you going to eat that by.
[58:18]
Scott Aukerman
The Way I was. I mean, be careful, be careful. Shouldn't have dropped it on the ground.
[58:25]
Ike Barinholtz
Also, he didn't say yes, that's fine. Hemming and hawing.
[58:29]
Louis Pantano
Scott Haman, I'm so happy for you. It's so. And I you too. Wow, show business, you guys are thriving. So happy for you. Oh, my.
[58:35]
Scott Aukerman
Great to see you again. Yeah. I don't recall the all the details right.
[58:41]
Louis Pantano
You and I opened for Bill Burr for a summer. You remember? Yeah, we traveled New England. You don't remember?
[58:46]
Scott Aukerman
I don't. Yeah.
[58:47]
Ike Barinholtz
I didn't even know you were like a big stand up in Boston.
[58:50]
Scott Aukerman
I was huge.
[58:51]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[58:52]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I turned my back on it.
[58:53]
Louis Pantano
He dabbled.
[58:54]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I was a huge dabbler, but I achieved the kind of success that, you know, huge standups achieve.
[59:01]
Ike Barinholtz
Sure.
[59:01]
Scott Aukerman
Just my dad dabbling. If I had just really set my mind to it, I just think of the things I could have achieved. This is Dr. Henry Heimlich, by the way.
[59:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Hello. How are you?
[59:10]
Louis Pantano
Yeah.
[59:10]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
That was amazing how you took down that sandwich. Yeah, I was neck back, kind of gulping it down.
[59:17]
Ike Barinholtz
Three bites.
[59:18]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Unbelievable.
[59:19]
Louis Pantano
Thank you.
[59:20]
Scott Aukerman
Back, ass up.
[59:22]
Ike Barinholtz
That's the way I like to snack.
[59:25]
Scott Aukerman
Ass up, neck back. That's the way I like to snap.
[59:27]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You have to look nasty when you're eating. Eating.
[59:30]
Scott Aukerman
Is this a shirt?
[59:31]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Is this a T shirt?
[59:32]
Scott Aukerman
This could be good. On the back it says you have to look nasty while you're eating.
[59:35]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Can I have some of the proceeds, please?
[59:37]
Scott Aukerman
All right.
[59:38]
Louis Pantano
Scott, look at you now, huh? Forty million dollar house in the Hollywood Hills. Look at.
[59:44]
Scott Aukerman
I mean, that was the. That was the list price.
[59:46]
Louis Pantano
Yeah.
[59:46]
Scott Aukerman
We had to go over a bit because it was a competitive situation.
[59:49]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, but which room did Phil Spector shoot that lady in?
[59:53]
Scott Aukerman
I think all of them.
[59:55]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, yeah, I think so. Yeah.
[59:56]
Scott Aukerman
He got off shots in every room. They told me. I don't know, but.
[59:58]
Louis Pantano
Scott, did you get my email emails?
[60:00]
Scott Aukerman
I did.
[60:00]
Louis Pantano
When you were making Between Two Ferns, I think I emailed you like four or five thousand times.
[60:04]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I don't know. I probably switched my email address. What did you want to email me about?
[60:09]
Louis Pantano
I don't know. I was just thinking. I thought maybe you could help me break into the industry.
[60:12]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, yeah, we. I mean, there was a seagull part in that, but then we, on the day, we couldn't find it.
[60:19]
Louis Pantano
And then you gave it to Zach Galifianakis.
[60:21]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[60:21]
Louis Pantano
Unbelievable.
[60:22]
Scott Aukerman
That day Zach showed up and I was like, you know what, he's a movie star.
[60:26]
Ike Barinholtz
It fit him perfectly.
[60:27]
Scott Aukerman
I mean, really yeah.
[60:28]
Ike Barinholtz
Wow. Wow.
[60:29]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[60:29]
Louis Pantano
And, like, you blocked my number when.
[60:32]
Ike Barinholtz
No, no, no, no, no. What happened is I have. I switched to T Mobile.
[60:38]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, you're one of the thousands that have switched to T Mobile.
[60:41]
Ike Barinholtz
I got out of. Yeah, I got out of Verizon and I went back to T Mobile. I got a sidekick. So that's what it is.
[60:50]
Scott Aukerman
Who's your sidekick?
[60:54]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
There's somebody out there in that motorcycle, sitting there.
[60:57]
Scott Aukerman
It's like a tandem motorcycle.
[60:59]
Ike Barinholtz
I saw my friend Loop.
[61:02]
Scott Aukerman
Loop?
[61:02]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, I hired him.
[61:04]
Scott Aukerman
Named after Chicago's Loop.
[61:06]
Ike Barinholtz
He's my buddy from high school. He's a real Chicago guy.
[61:10]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, that's.
[61:11]
Ike Barinholtz
His name is Loop. Deep dish. And he kind of travels everywhere with me. So. Anyways, we wanted to take care of.
[61:17]
Louis Pantano
Your friend from the past. That's cool.
[61:19]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, we really went a little bit deeper, me and him, than me and you and I want to apologize. Him and I, we switched to T mobile, so all my old. I have not gotten a text message from anyone in weeks.
[61:30]
Louis Pantano
I'll play that for a second. Are you still working or what are you trying Scott? Well, wanted to be one of Mindy's love interests on the Mindy project and didn't hear back from Ike.
[61:41]
Ike Barinholtz
No, I remember. And I want you to know I pitched it to Mindy. I did, I swear. And she. She said to me. She's like, I like this idea, but I just. I. I don't want. I don't going to get her in trouble. Yeah, she said she didn't want to do a love scene with the bird.
[61:55]
Louis Pantano
What?
[61:55]
Scott Aukerman
I know. It's kind of humanist.
[61:58]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Wow.
[61:59]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[61:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Wow.
[62:00]
Louis Pantano
Mindy, my God, you know, their body has changed so much.
[62:04]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but there aren't a lot.
[62:07]
Scott Aukerman
Of parts for birds out there, unfortunately. You know, I mean, what was the last bird project you can think of? The Birdman of Alcatraz.
[62:14]
Ike Barinholtz
That was a while back. The birds.
[62:16]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
The birds.
[62:16]
Ike Barinholtz
I mean, that would have been. That would have been a great one. Oh, Birdman.
[62:19]
Louis Pantano
I went out for that.
[62:21]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Just not many parts for loud beach birds. Yeah, like a hawk, somebody.
[62:28]
Louis Pantano
That's a limiting belief.
[62:30]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You're just, like, eating trash down there. Yeah, it's just like. I don't know.
[62:34]
Louis Pantano
Okay, you're telling me you've never eaten a French fry out of a woman's mouth? You think you're better than me?
[62:38]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Listen, I had to always try my.
[62:42]
Scott Aukerman
Wife to make sure they don't choke.
[62:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Of course I'm getting it. I'm not kissing.
[62:45]
Louis Pantano
My God.
[62:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Be careful.
[62:46]
Louis Pantano
Wow. Everyone Here thinks they're better than me. They live in Hollywood now and they drive the big fancy cars and they. Oh, my God. You.
[62:53]
Ike Barinholtz
Sorry, Lou.
[62:54]
Louis Pantano
Are you gonna have that? Are you gonna eat that?
[62:55]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, all right.
[62:57]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
That's the nose.
[62:58]
Ike Barinholtz
A one meal a day diet. That was my one meal, so.
[63:01]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, man, Louie, I. The other issue was, you know, you were constantly on everyone.
[63:05]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[63:06]
Louis Pantano
Oh, my God. And so were you, Scott. You hear me embarrassing you.
[63:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You tore up that Tostino's audition. You went out for the commercial.
[63:14]
Scott Aukerman
You shit all over the room, all over everyone. Yeah, and, and people don't want a commercial where it's like, you know, you eat a Tostino and then you shit everywhere. That's. It's just negative connotations.
[63:24]
Ike Barinholtz
It had nothing to do with your read or anything. It was just literally like the white shit you were shooting all over people.
[63:29]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, I know we're looking for more diversity in Hollywood, but I don't know that that extends to birds.
[63:34]
Ike Barinholtz
Different species.
[63:34]
Louis Pantano
Oh, I get it. You guys are jealous. You were always jealous of me back in the day. Sharna Halpern liked me better than she liked you.
[63:43]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, I mean, you know, listen, Sharna loves animals, but I have a, have a great relationship with her. She's a friend. And I, I, I, I don't, I don't. I understand you. You are holding on to some emotion because you might not have gotten to where you want to be in this business.
[63:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
And I, I, I understand our Herald.
[64:01]
Louis Pantano
Team, by the way. I was the one that everyone thought that I would get snl, and two of Charna's dogs were on that team, and I was still the star of that.
[64:08]
Ike Barinholtz
I was on an improv team with lots of animals.
[64:10]
Scott Aukerman
I was like, sort of like a.
[64:11]
Ike Barinholtz
Dark Dr. Doolittle a little bit. Yeah.
[64:13]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You were a stagehog, though. You did all the first beats.
[64:16]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, every one.
[64:17]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You, Every scene.
[64:18]
Ike Barinholtz
Also.
[64:19]
Scott Aukerman
She was a hog, by the way.
[64:20]
Louis Pantano
There was a hog on the team, but we wouldn't let her talk.
[64:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Also, sometimes you would just, you would just kind of fly off stage and fly into, like, the control room and sit in there for a little bit, and you'd come back and it was just a little. It was kind of like on your schedule. Sometimes you'd show up with, like, Like a condom you swallowed on the beach.
[64:36]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, it was awesome. I knew how to party. I was in my 20s.
[64:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, I mean, it's true. I can't argue with you.
[64:42]
Louis Pantano
You and I used to sit on the beach in Chicago. Foster Beach. We Stay up all night and you and I would eat condoms until the sunrise.
[64:49]
Ike Barinholtz
That happened, like, once or twice. It wasn't a thing. We always did.
[64:53]
Louis Pantano
We always did that.
[64:54]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You still eat them sometimes, so.
[64:56]
Ike Barinholtz
I mean, once in a while. I choked on one a while back, and it scared me away.
[65:00]
Scott Aukerman
Has a scene where every character eats a condom.
[65:03]
Ike Barinholtz
That was the episode I wrote. That's 103. Yeah. And I do get a bonus if that one is streamed more than the other one. So folks are listening. If you could watch 103 first and.
[65:13]
Scott Aukerman
The third episode, why would people. A lot of people watch the third episode more than every.
[65:18]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Characters are confused because all the basketballs are deflated and they can't play the game, so they go and eat condoms Also.
[65:25]
Louis Pantano
Scott, it's been just horrible listening to you ruin the game of basketball. Flat balls and everyone's walking. Scott, Scott, Scott.
[65:33]
Scott Aukerman
I think it would be exciting.
[65:35]
Louis Pantano
Scott, My God. You used to say I was the best friend you ever had, and now you're hanging out with Jon Hamm and Adam Scott and all these fancy people.
[65:45]
Scott Aukerman
I mean, they're humans, though. We have more in common. Let's face it. They're bros. It's the bro code.
[65:53]
Louis Pantano
I'm a bro.
[65:54]
Scott Aukerman
We didn't have that. Louie.
[65:56]
Louis Pantano
Oh, my God. I could hang with the best of them.
[65:58]
Ike Barinholtz
Guys before gold. That's what I said.
[66:00]
Scott Aukerman
Yes. Guys before goals.
[66:02]
Louis Pantano
All right, whatever. I. I see you out about in Hollywood with pigeons and.
[66:07]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, well, I mean, they're just, you know, on the streets following me around.
[66:11]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, they have a big following online, most of these pigeons. So when you get in there, you can get, like, some followers.
[66:18]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. When I go on wire image, I'm just like, penguin, pigeon, pigeon, penguin.
[66:22]
Scott Aukerman
You also keep carrier pigeons on your roof? You were telling me?
[66:25]
Ike Barinholtz
I do. I was very inspired by Mike Tyson.
[66:28]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[66:28]
Ike Barinholtz
And so I recently purchased about 30,000 pigeons.
[66:33]
Scott Aukerman
30,000. That's a big.
[66:35]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. My neighbors are furious. The neighborhood is just blanketed.
[66:39]
Louis Pantano
Are you going to eat that? Can I smoke in here? You know what? I'm doing it.
[66:45]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Whatever you want. Look, I'm sorry. We. You know, in show business, it's not a race, necessarily, and the destination, sometimes you don't even know what it is. What the finish line is, is necessarily for Ike, it might be running point. You know, it might be the finish line for him. You just burst through the tape, and that's it.
[67:02]
Ike Barinholtz
That's it.
[67:03]
Louis Pantano
Can either of you get me a job? That's sort of why I'm Here.
[67:05]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, really?
[67:06]
Louis Pantano
Hire me.
[67:07]
Ike Barinholtz
Do you live in Boston still, or are you living out here?
[67:09]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, I got a place in Mashfield. It's a dumpster.
[67:12]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay.
[67:13]
Louis Pantano
So I'm in South Boston area, but I. I come out here from time to time.
[67:17]
Ike Barinholtz
I always do tell people who are looking to get in show business. I say, you have to live here. It's very difficult to do it.
[67:24]
Louis Pantano
Well, if I have a show out here, I do stand up in the parking lot of Red Lobster.
[67:28]
Ike Barinholtz
Of Red Lobster?
[67:29]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, sort of. Whatever.
[67:30]
Scott Aukerman
There's a lot of good food trash there.
[67:34]
Louis Pantano
Yeah.
[67:34]
Ike Barinholtz
Me, I do love Red Lobster. I love the cheddar biscuits. That's reason enough to go.
[67:39]
Scott Aukerman
You often take your wife's ass down to Red Lobster, right?
[67:45]
Louis Pantano
Just her ass or her whole self.
[67:47]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Gotta take her ass to Red Lobster.
[67:51]
Louis Pantano
All right, I. Give me a part on Running Point. I can do it.
[67:54]
Ike Barinholtz
Can you shot it?
[67:56]
Louis Pantano
Can I host? Oh, yeah, I could host.
[67:58]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I have a show you could maybe host.
[68:00]
Louis Pantano
Oh, my gosh.
[68:00]
Scott Aukerman
Can you switch some of your show ideas?
[68:02]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[68:02]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
This one's called say yes to the Choke. And it's women pick dresses to eat and choke on.
[68:08]
Louis Pantano
Oh, okay.
[68:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So.
[68:09]
Louis Pantano
And then they say, is this your choke? And then she goes, I think this is your choke.
[68:13]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
That sounds pretty good. Scott, will you produce it, please?
[68:17]
Louis Pantano
Scott, Money, Please.
[68:18]
Scott Aukerman
I. I think Ike is really the guy. I mean, he has a show on the air right now.
[68:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Not yet. If they hear this, they might not air it. If I say yes to this, they'll retroactively cancel Running Point.
[68:27]
Scott Aukerman
Good point.
[68:28]
Ike Barinholtz
They're gonna be like, oh, man, this guy. We thought he was a TV guy. He's not. He's a jokester.
[68:32]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[68:32]
Ike Barinholtz
He's producing a show with a goddamn bird.
[68:35]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I don't know. I mean, do you have any bird ideas?
[68:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, there's a way to have an idea, Henry, that still had a little choking in it, but it was a little more. More birds.
[68:44]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I don't have a bird idea, but I have one that takes place outdoors.
[68:48]
Scott Aukerman
Okay. There are lots of birds.
[68:49]
Louis Pantano
Okay.
[68:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I've heard of Dawson's Creek, so.
[68:53]
Louis Pantano
I love Dawson's Creek.
[68:55]
Scott Aukerman
Stacy.
[68:56]
Louis Pantano
Joey.
[68:56]
Ike Barinholtz
Like a reboot.
[68:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Peter Gabriel.
[69:01]
Ike Barinholtz
He was in one episode, and the.
[69:05]
Scott Aukerman
Show was based on his teenage years, of course.
[69:07]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So this show is based on. My teenager is. And it's called Squeezers Drainage Base. And it follows a teen heartthrob based on me named Squeezer. And every episode ends in him getting a hand job next to a drainage basin that gets interrupted by him giving someone The Heimlich maneuver.
[69:24]
Scott Aukerman
Who?
[69:25]
Ike Barinholtz
The person. He's masturbating.
[69:27]
Scott Aukerman
The hand job. Interrupting.
[69:29]
Louis Pantano
I'm going to say something earnest. This is my favorite idea.
[69:31]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
This might be good. This one might be good.
[69:34]
Ike Barinholtz
So real quick. If I'm painting. So the. The character is Squeezer. Squeezer is getting a hand job. Is the person who's doing it, they start choking or does he see someone, like, eating a sandwich nearby?
[69:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
There's always someone off nearby.
[69:47]
Scott Aukerman
So he's getting a very public hand job.
[69:49]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
He's getting an H.J. and it's. Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, like. It's like the mud next to the drainage basin.
[69:56]
Scott Aukerman
Right.
[69:56]
Louis Pantano
And I'm good at hand jobs. Good, not great.
[69:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I got wings.
[70:00]
Scott Aukerman
It's more of a claw job.
[70:01]
Louis Pantano
Yeah. I use my wings, not my claws.
[70:04]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, you use your wings. Of course.
[70:05]
Ike Barinholtz
That would be so violent. Just a bird batting its wings on your penis.
[70:09]
Louis Pantano
Okay. Don't knock until you try it.
[70:11]
Scott Aukerman
But maybe you can be a bird.
[70:12]
Louis Pantano
Who'S just at the I.O. holiday party. We did something.
[70:15]
Scott Aukerman
Don't lie.
[70:15]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, that was a long time ago. That was a long time.
[70:18]
Louis Pantano
Don't lie to them. My God.
[70:21]
Scott Aukerman
There's always a bird flying around. Anytime you get an outdoor hand job, though.
[70:24]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes.
[70:25]
Ike Barinholtz
I think that's the best use for you watching. I think the best use is just like, whatever scene's happening, just a bird flies cross.
[70:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah.
[70:32]
Ike Barinholtz
You know what I mean?
[70:33]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Cross.
[70:34]
Ike Barinholtz
A background cross, which makes. It's important because it makes the action look real.
[70:39]
Louis Pantano
Ah.
[70:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah. You want the drainage basin to look real.
[70:43]
Louis Pantano
I don't know. I feel like I'm more of a leading man type. Why did everyone make a basin? Yeah, I would love to.
[70:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
All right, let's see your penis. Because that's. We're showing. We're showing.
[70:57]
Scott Aukerman
Weirdly enough, that is the first time that has been said on this show, I think. Wow.
[71:03]
Ike Barinholtz
So then you have to find an actor who's going to masturbate. A seagull.
[71:08]
Scott Aukerman
A seagull? Yeah.
[71:08]
Ike Barinholtz
I don't know.
[71:09]
Louis Pantano
Oh, you think an actor won't do that? Oh, please.
[71:12]
Ike Barinholtz
I guess some actors would. I guess some actors would. Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay, I'm in. I mean, I'm listening. I'm listening.
[71:17]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[71:17]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[71:18]
Louis Pantano
Don't try to sabotage my career again.
[71:21]
Ike Barinholtz
Again?
[71:21]
Louis Pantano
You've been doing this since he was 21 years old.
[71:24]
Ike Barinholtz
No.
[71:25]
Louis Pantano
Slept over your house the night before my big Second City audition and my alarm mysteriously didn't go off.
[71:32]
Ike Barinholtz
Wait, you think I did not want you to get hired by Second City?
[71:35]
Louis Pantano
I know that you didn't want me to get hired.
[71:37]
Ike Barinholtz
Why I never.
[71:37]
Louis Pantano
We're the same type. We're the same type. I.
[71:40]
Scott Aukerman
Nevertheless, you're wearing a white shirt, he's a white bird.
[71:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I guesses look similar.
[71:46]
Ike Barinholtz
That is true. All right.
[71:47]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[71:47]
Ike Barinholtz
All right.
[71:47]
Scott Aukerman
Maybe we have to all take them out, right?
[71:50]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
We are all have them out. If you're gonna record a pod, you gotta drop it out.
[71:54]
Scott Aukerman
Sure, yeah.
[71:55]
Louis Pantano
It's.
[71:55]
Scott Aukerman
That's what bros do.
[71:57]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I, I, I.
[71:57]
Ike Barinholtz
If I got in your way at all, I apologize. I don't think you should blame me for, for where you're at.
[72:02]
Louis Pantano
Oh, I don't know about that. Well, okay, you're gonna ask us, 20 years ago, who would be eating garbage in the Red Lobster parking lot?
[72:09]
Scott Aukerman
I would have thought you.
[72:11]
Louis Pantano
We would have all said fair.
[72:13]
Ike Barinholtz
Fair, Fair. Okay, that is. That is fair. But I still don't think that I. Yeah, I think there's other reasons why it hasn't popped for you.
[72:21]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, I mean, at least I was always supportive of you, you know, you.
[72:23]
Louis Pantano
Didn'T even remember we had met Scott.
[72:26]
Scott Aukerman
But I was. Now that I remember, I was. I mean, it's. Look, I see a lot of birds.
[72:31]
Ike Barinholtz
And he means it like Austin Powers.
[72:34]
Scott Aukerman
You're groovy, baby. Do you fancy a shag?
[72:39]
Louis Pantano
Oh, brother. You know, and you know, I think you guys were like, we'll never see that seagull again. So you've been stealing my jokes and my bits and my show ideas.
[72:49]
Ike Barinholtz
What idea have I stolen from you?
[72:52]
Louis Pantano
Tell me. Who is David's original writing partner?
[72:55]
Ike Barinholtz
David Stassen's original writing partner.
[72:57]
Louis Pantano
Who was it? And they're here in the room right now, and it's me.
[73:01]
Ike Barinholtz
You were so Dave Stassen. So if I called Dave Stassen.
[73:04]
Louis Pantano
Call him right now. Put him on Twitter.
[73:05]
Ike Barinholtz
Do you mind? Is this weird?
[73:06]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. No, go ahead and call Dave Stassen. It's ringing.
[73:09]
Ike Barinholtz
Call fuckface. Call him.
[73:12]
Louis Pantano
I used to call him that. He used to love it when I called him that.
[73:14]
Ike Barinholtz
Hey, David. Dave. Yep, it's Ike Barinholtz.
[73:18]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Go for Dave. David made me here.
[73:22]
Scott Aukerman
IY I Iy. What's happening, brother?
[73:27]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Is your writing.
[73:28]
Ike Barinholtz
How are you, man? Doing good, bud.
[73:32]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
What's up? Time knows a lot about. You both know a lot about basketball, right? Is he, like, watching it right now?
[73:40]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, I got basketball on. I don't have a lot of times.
[73:43]
Ike Barinholtz
Listen, I'm just. Real quick question. Did you before we wrote together?
[73:46]
Scott Aukerman
Quicker, quicker.
[73:47]
Ike Barinholtz
Louie, did you ever write with Louie? He's A seagull?
[73:49]
Scott Aukerman
Louie the seagull?
[73:50]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[73:52]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I mean, I wrote a couple of things, but he just kept on eating the paper.
[73:57]
Ike Barinholtz
Okay, and this was before you and I met?
[73:59]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, it was. This is like an hour before you and I met.
[74:03]
Ike Barinholtz
All right. Okay.
[74:04]
Scott Aukerman
And then you walked in and you said you looked at everything I'd written down that wasn't eaten by the seagull. And you said, oh, I own half of this now.
[74:10]
Louis Pantano
Weed written down.
[74:11]
Ike Barinholtz
My God, you're the best. I'm sorry to bother you, brother.
[74:14]
Scott Aukerman
Love you, baby.
[74:15]
Ike Barinholtz
Love you, man. I'll talk to you soon.
[74:16]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Swoosh.
[74:17]
Ike Barinholtz
All right.
[74:17]
Louis Pantano
What did he say about me?
[74:18]
Ike Barinholtz
He said he's never heard of you, and you're a frigging liar.
[74:22]
Louis Pantano
Oh, classic.
[74:24]
Ike Barinholtz
No, he said he sounded cool.
[74:27]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
He did.
[74:28]
Ike Barinholtz
He sounded a little bit like Dennis Miller, babe.
[74:30]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Cool.
[74:31]
Louis Pantano
You know what? The two of you are fair, weathered friends. When I choked on that human body alone at the beach, and I was in the hospital for three months, neither of you came to visit me.
[74:39]
Ike Barinholtz
Where were you?
[74:41]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I was still dealing with throat bugs. I was knee deep in the bad one. Bug.
[74:47]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Well, look, you know, they don't let it just anyone into a hospital, you know?
[74:51]
Ike Barinholtz
That is true.
[74:52]
Scott Aukerman
It was a veterinarian. Yeah. So, you know, they don't just let any random people come in and look at a bird that the.
[74:59]
Ike Barinholtz
No. And also, they don't matter. Most vets don't treat. I've never seen a seagull at the vet's office.
[75:06]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, wow.
[75:06]
Ike Barinholtz
And I think even birds, I think they have to go to special places. I don't think you can.
[75:10]
Scott Aukerman
You're a special doctor for birds.
[75:11]
Ike Barinholtz
I think there's a special doctor for birds.
[75:12]
Scott Aukerman
So if you were a vet, you would turn your nose up at a bird?
[75:14]
Ike Barinholtz
I think I would.
[75:15]
Scott Aukerman
We don't do these.
[75:16]
Ike Barinholtz
We don't do it.
[75:17]
Scott Aukerman
It's all the same guts inside.
[75:18]
Ike Barinholtz
I don't think it is. I think it's like avian bones, different guts. I think they had different guts. They have av. It's the cloaca. It is the cla.
[75:25]
Louis Pantano
I found out yesterday that birds don't fart. None of them.
[75:28]
Scott Aukerman
You. You said you find this out because you tried and it didn't work.
[75:32]
Louis Pantano
I tried. Tried.
[75:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I don't know if that means none of them do. You just might have a weird.
[75:37]
Ike Barinholtz
You might have a blockage.
[75:38]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, I tried all day.
[75:40]
Scott Aukerman
Have you? Have you. By the way, Henry, have you tried a blockage on the other end? Yeah. Yeah.
[75:44]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You can do that.
[75:45]
Ike Barinholtz
You know, so if you push just. Instead of coming, you just.
[75:49]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, you turn the person upside down.
[75:51]
Ike Barinholtz
And a turd shoots out.
[75:52]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
And you sneak up. They don't need to see it coming.
[75:54]
Scott Aukerman
Sneak.
[75:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
And then you just. And you can get it out.
[75:58]
Louis Pantano
All right, well, show.
[75:59]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, come over here. Okay, do a handstand. Wait.
[76:03]
Scott Aukerman
They always have to come to you.
[76:06]
Ike Barinholtz
Go to him. Why would you have them turn upside down? Don't you want. Isn't gravity your friend if it's already pointing down?
[76:12]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, you want it up and out so people can go there.
[76:15]
Scott Aukerman
What?
[76:15]
Louis Pantano
I'm joking.
[76:16]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I'm joking.
[76:17]
Scott Aukerman
Do it quick.
[76:18]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
It flew across the.
[76:19]
Ike Barinholtz
He's choking. Louie's choking.
[76:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Isn'T working.
[76:27]
Scott Aukerman
I can't quite tell.
[76:28]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
He's screaming. Wait, there.
[76:30]
Scott Aukerman
It flies across the room.
[76:31]
Ike Barinholtz
Oh, my sandwich from earlier. Thanks.
[76:36]
Louis Pantano
Are you gonna eat that?
[76:37]
Ike Barinholtz
I am. Do you mind if I eat this? Oh, my God.
[76:41]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, no.
[76:44]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, sneak, sneak.
[76:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
All right, I'm gonna hide under tiptoe.
[76:49]
Louis Pantano
Let him die. I can steal his wife.
[76:53]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay, gotcha. Oh, you farted.
[76:58]
Ike Barinholtz
Sorry, sorry.
[76:59]
Scott Aukerman
Why were you upside down?
[77:01]
Louis Pantano
Must be nice.
[77:01]
Ike Barinholtz
I don't know. I panicked.
[77:02]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Can't be upside down.
[77:03]
Ike Barinholtz
I panicked. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Scott, can you please delete this out of the.
[77:07]
Louis Pantano
He's a showrunner and he can fart. Brag, brag, brag, brag, brag.
[77:12]
Ike Barinholtz
I was not the showrunner, but I can't fart.
[77:16]
Scott Aukerman
Well, I'm. I'm so sorry, Louie.
[77:19]
Louis Pantano
Oh, my God, Scott. We spent a whole summer together. You know?
[77:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Remember? The two of you and Bill Burr.
[77:24]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, yeah. Pete Holmes joined us for a little while, for a couple.
[77:28]
Scott Aukerman
This is the best summer of my life. I got hit. Pete, Bill and. And me and you.
[77:33]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah.
[77:33]
Louis Pantano
We were in Newport, Rhode island, eating lobster rolls and doing comedy. Best time of our lives.
[77:37]
Scott Aukerman
I loved it, but those days are long. I mean, look, life is so different now. I have a different career. I have a family. You know, it's just people. Sometimes people and birds grow apart.
[77:48]
Louis Pantano
Okay. Yeah, I see. It is.
[77:50]
Ike Barinholtz
God, don't be so resentful.
[77:51]
Louis Pantano
Wow. No, it's nice. I'm happy for you guys. Rich, powerful.
[77:55]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Rich, powerful. Yeah.
[77:57]
Ike Barinholtz
Can I get. Can I tell you the good news? We are now in an era where there's no gatekeepers.
[78:02]
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
[78:03]
Ike Barinholtz
Where you can do whatever you want if you have an iPhone or a T. Mobile. Sidekick.
[78:08]
Scott Aukerman
So I guess the gatekeepers are like the big tech companies who create the.
[78:11]
Louis Pantano
Phones just told me there's no parts for birds.
[78:14]
Ike Barinholtz
Well, no, they're not in the human.
[78:16]
Scott Aukerman
Mind, in the human head, but you can create your own parts.
[78:20]
Ike Barinholtz
150 years ago, there were no movies with humans. And then a human said, let's make a movie. You can be that for birds, but you gotta do it yourself.
[78:27]
Louis Pantano
No, I feel like I just, I'm good enough that things should be handed to me.
[78:31]
Scott Aukerman
I mean, that's how I felt.
[78:32]
Louis Pantano
People shouldn't get into show business. To me, people should be coming. If I was the funniest person on my herald team in Chicago in 1998, then people should be coming to me. Is that when you lived in Chicago?
[78:43]
Ike Barinholtz
I was there. I remember we were there together. I was on a herald team. I believe it was called genealogy. But listen, I, I, I, I, I. That is neither here nor there. I think you have to do this yourself.
[78:53]
Scott Aukerman
I think it's harder for birds. I'm so sorry. I mean, we have, you know, look, we, Ike and I have failed upwards in our career. Like started on Mad tv.
[79:01]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[79:01]
Scott Aukerman
And now look at him, you know, and so it's like.
[79:03]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Could you get me on that?
[79:08]
Ike Barinholtz
I'll tell you what. I will get you an audition for Mad tv.
[79:11]
Louis Pantano
Fantastic.
[79:11]
Ike Barinholtz
The done deal. You're gonna have to do three characters. Three.
[79:13]
Scott Aukerman
The second rebound.
[79:15]
Ike Barinholtz
This is the third reboot.
[79:16]
Scott Aukerman
Third reboot? There's already been two reboots.
[79:17]
Ike Barinholtz
So one time event.
[79:19]
Scott Aukerman
Oh yes. That was the, the precursor to the two night event, was it not?
[79:23]
Louis Pantano
You know what? I only trust Dr. Heimlich. He has is creating content over there. I'm gonna hit my wagon to him.
[79:31]
Scott Aukerman
Okay.
[79:32]
Louis Pantano
On one of his TV shows.
[79:33]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, he possibly.
[79:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I do have a show. I do have a show for you. It's called the Heimlich Files.
[79:40]
Scott Aukerman
The Heimlich Files.
[79:41]
Ike Barinholtz
Like the Rockford Files or like the X Files?
[79:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Is that like similar to the X Files?
[79:45]
Louis Pantano
FBI C. Yeah.
[79:46]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So a show where detectives investigate paranormal choking phenomena. Spooky cases of aliens who have choked on things. And I shouldn't have done this one because the other one was better. But.
[79:58]
Louis Pantano
No, I think I, I could make a meal out of that.
[80:01]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
So tempting. I should have got out when I had the chat.
[80:04]
Scott Aukerman
You should have reordered these.
[80:05]
Louis Pantano
And I have sexual tension with my beautiful partner on that show.
[80:09]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
You can.
[80:10]
Scott Aukerman
Ah. Or do you go for other birds?
[80:13]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah.
[80:13]
Ike Barinholtz
What's your, what's your vibe?
[80:15]
Louis Pantano
Human women. Women just like you guys.
[80:18]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, sure.
[80:20]
Ike Barinholtz
Totally.
[80:20]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[80:21]
Ike Barinholtz
Hell yeah.
[80:22]
Scott Aukerman
That's my type exactly. A human woman.
[80:26]
Louis Pantano
All right. He thinks the Scott protest too much. Sort of hit a Nerve There. Didn't mean to do that.
[80:32]
Scott Aukerman
Hey, if you're a reflexologist, that's exactly what you want to do. Hit nerves. So you're. You're right there.
[80:39]
Louis Pantano
All right, I'll forgive you guys. Just hand me your phones. I'm going to take all the famous people's numbers, I'm going to write them down, and then we'll consider it.
[80:45]
Ike Barinholtz
All right?
[80:45]
Scott Aukerman
All right. Here you go.
[80:47]
Louis Pantano
Kevin Spacey.
[80:49]
Ike Barinholtz
Boom.
[80:49]
Scott Aukerman
That one.
[80:51]
Ike Barinholtz
Space high. There's a lot of numbers for that one. Use the Italy one.
[80:54]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Well, guys, we are running out of time. Unfortunately, we really only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is a little something called plugs.
[81:06]
Ike Barinholtz
What would happen if we plug.
[81:13]
Scott Aukerman
I invite you to plug one another. Oh, yeah, that was Plug one Another by Chris Gray. Were Wolf.
[81:26]
Ike Barinholtz
Puss and Butt.
[81:27]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, Puss and Butt. Guys, what do we plug in Ike? Obviously, Running Point is on Netflix this Thursday.
[81:33]
Ike Barinholtz
Yes, that's the one. If you don't watch it, I'm dead.
[81:37]
Scott Aukerman
And what people who want to catch up with your earlier work just to like, maybe they marathon everything you've ever done, and then suddenly leading up to.
[81:45]
Ike Barinholtz
Thursday, whatever, then they get committed to an insane asylum. Yeah, I mean, the. The Mindy Project is out there. I'm sure that's a fun one. I think I. Blockers. Blockers is out there. Neighbors, Neighbors two, Sorority Rising. Oh, there's a movie I did a couple years ago directed by Dave Stassen called Maximum Truth. It's very funny, and it's about right wing.
[82:06]
Scott Aukerman
What about the. The movie where everyone like you and Tiffany Hadish and I went to the premiere, the after party. No, no, no, no. Oh, that you.
[82:15]
Ike Barinholtz
That I directed. Yeah. The Oath. That's out there. And it's happening now in the country, so it's good. You can watch it.
[82:21]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. And the after party is great.
[82:22]
Louis Pantano
Yeah.
[82:22]
Scott Aukerman
So what a. What a body of. What a body.
[82:25]
Ike Barinholtz
What a breath.
[82:25]
Scott Aukerman
What a body. I just wanted to tell you thank you personally. I know I texted to you all.
[82:30]
Ike Barinholtz
The time, flexing for 90 minutes the first time you said anything.
[82:33]
Scott Aukerman
Henry Heimlich, what do you want to plug?
[82:35]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Well, you know, I'm trying to sell my house. I need to liquidate my house. You know, it's got a swimming pool that was built in the shape of a pret being ejected from someone's throat across a crowded restaurant.
[82:49]
Scott Aukerman
How does the restaurant signify when you say it?
[82:52]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
From above, you're gonna know.
[82:54]
Ike Barinholtz
That's a big pool.
[82:55]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Also, watch running point February 27th it drops. Or 26 at 11:59.
[83:01]
Scott Aukerman
Something like that.
[83:02]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yeah, yeah. So get up. Pee if you like us. You gotta piss. Gotta go piss.
[83:07]
Scott Aukerman
You gotta go piss. So everyone piss before you watch this show. Piss.
[83:10]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah. Thank you for plugging the show, doc.
[83:12]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Binge it. Binge it. Go all the way through.
[83:15]
Scott Aukerman
Because you don't want to be in the middle of it and sudden got a piss and you got to turn it off. You may forget to.
[83:19]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Oh, yeah, don't pee around episode five. You'll need to don't.
[83:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Or do what I do when I watch every show. Wear a diaper.
[83:24]
Scott Aukerman
That's right.
[83:25]
Ike Barinholtz
Boom, boom.
[83:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Diaper up right into the bing.
[83:29]
Scott Aukerman
Running point is the first dipe show.
[83:31]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Got a diaper.
[83:32]
Scott Aukerman
Got a diaper.
[83:34]
Ike Barinholtz
Are you still watching or are you changing your dip?
[83:38]
Scott Aukerman
And of course, Louis Pantano. What do you want to plug here?
[83:42]
Louis Pantano
I have a show that I worked on called Win or Lose. That is a Pixar show that comes out on Disney. Disney. I think the first two episodes are out now.
[83:51]
Scott Aukerman
Congratulations.
[83:52]
Louis Pantano
Thank you.
[83:52]
Ike Barinholtz
That's amazing.
[83:53]
Louis Pantano
It's the coolest. It's so good. And I think the third episode comes out this week.
[83:57]
Scott Aukerman
Oh, my gosh. On Disney.
[83:58]
Louis Pantano
Yeah.
[83:58]
Ike Barinholtz
All right.
[83:59]
Scott Aukerman
Check that out. What's it called again?
[84:00]
Louis Pantano
Win or lose.
[84:01]
Scott Aukerman
Winner.
[84:02]
Louis Pantano
Win or lose. It follows like a middle school co ed softball team.
[84:06]
Scott Aukerman
Because I was thinking about a winner who. Who loses for the first time.
[84:09]
Ike Barinholtz
Win or lose.
[84:10]
Scott Aukerman
Win or lose.
[84:11]
Louis Pantano
That's sort of like me.
[84:12]
Ike Barinholtz
Winner, comma, lose.
[84:13]
Louis Pantano
I'm all right.
[84:15]
Scott Aukerman
Sounds like you're doing fine. You're on a Disney plus cartoon more than I have.
[84:18]
Ike Barinholtz
You were complaining for a long time about no career. And here we are plugging a show on Disney plus. Fascinating.
[84:24]
Scott Aukerman
Interesting. You always want more.
[84:26]
Louis Pantano
Yeah. I'm the funniest person from my Herald team. I deserve the best.
[84:30]
Scott Aukerman
When I was doing standing with Bill Burr, you were just flying around above us, shitting on us.
[84:34]
Louis Pantano
Yeah. And it was hilarious. And I got the biggest laughs of the night.
[84:37]
Scott Aukerman
It was funny. I want to plug. Head over to cbb world.com we have all of the past episodes of this show, all of the live episodes we ever did, including our tour last year where we did 43 shows. And we have great new shows there like CBB Presents with hey Randy. And speaking of hey, Randy, we have action figures. Randy and Carissa action figures. You can go to customers worldwide@figurecollections.com with free shipping with the US address or in Europe with cheaper import fees at action figureseller.com. we also have Sprague and Big Sue. And Tour exclusives of J.W. stillwater and Scott Aukerman still available. All right, let's close up the old plug.
[85:22]
Ike Barinholtz
Open it up, open it up, open.
[85:24]
Scott Aukerman
It up, open it up, open it.
[85:27]
Ike Barinholtz
Up, open it up, open it up.
[85:29]
Scott Aukerman
Open, open, open it up, open it.
[85:31]
Ike Barinholtz
Up, open it up, open it up.
[85:33]
Scott Aukerman
Open it up, open it up, open it up. Open, open. Open the block bag with me, dude. Open the clock back with me, dude. Just please don't close it, dude. Please don't close with. Open the block bag with me, dude. Open the.
[86:05]
Ike Barinholtz
Rude.
[86:09]
Scott Aukerman
All right, that was rude Dude's plugtune by Blosky. I believe you might pronounce it that way. Henry, are you upset that you didn't make the. The new Plug Bag remixes?
[86:19]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Ye. That could have been good for me. I need it. I'm down on my luck. All right, well, next time.
[86:26]
Scott Aukerman
Next time.
[86:26]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
I can. I can do it.
[86:27]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, you can do it. Yeah. I believe in you, Henry.
[86:29]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Okay.
[86:29]
Scott Aukerman
Thank you. I do. You. You've just got a. A fun tone to you. A fun tone makes me rude for you.
[86:34]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Thank you.
[86:35]
Ike Barinholtz
It almost makes me think that you didn't murder your two children. Your tone.
[86:40]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
No, that's. That's happening.
[86:41]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah, that sounds pretty bad.
[86:43]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes, it's.
[86:44]
Scott Aukerman
Wait, it's currently happening.
[86:45]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
Yes. I'm in mitigation. I have to. We're both going to try.
[86:48]
Ike Barinholtz
Yeah.
[86:48]
Scott Aukerman
Are you carpooling to the same courthouse today?
[86:50]
Ike Barinholtz
We're going.
[86:51]
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
[86:51]
Louis Pantano
You' going to believe it, but I'm going to be there, too.
[86:53]
Scott Aukerman
What?
[86:53]
Louis Pantano
What, are you being sued for us? Arson set.
[86:58]
Scott Aukerman
Meaning the Palisade fire.
[87:00]
Louis Pantano
Yeah. Allegedly seagull. Allegedly.
[87:04]
Ike Barinholtz
They said that was fireworks.
[87:07]
Dr. Henry Heimlich
What the hell?
[87:08]
Scott Aukerman
And a transform. A faulty transformer, but it was really a seagull. Dropping firebombs on the city.
[87:13]
Louis Pantano
That's going to be.
[87:14]
Ike Barinholtz
That's going to be bad for.
[87:16]
Scott Aukerman
Bad.
[87:16]
Louis Pantano
Yeah, I don't know. All. All press is good press, right, guys? That's what you always say.
[87:21]
Scott Aukerman
Ask your friend Kevin Space High about this. I'm not sure. All right, well, I want to thank you guys so much for coming by. Ike, always great to see you.
[87:29]
Ike Barinholtz
My pleasure.
[87:30]
Scott Aukerman
But. And of course, Dr. Henry and. And Louie, I mean. Yeah, I got nothing for you, unfortunately.
[87:38]
Louis Pantano
I'll eat whatever I can find on the way out.
[87:40]
Scott Aukerman
Okay, well, we'll see you next week. Thanks. By.