Ione Skye, Alex Fernie, Rekha Shankar

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode Featuring Ione Skye, Alex Fernie, and Rekha Shankar
Release Date: March 3, 2025
Hosts: Scott Aukerman, Travis Skin, and Dr. Scrumptious

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Introduction

In this eclectic 84-minute episode of Comedy Bang Bang, host Scott Aukerman welcomes author Ione Skye, competitive eater Dr. Scrumptious, and briefly features Alex Fernie and Rekha Shankar. The show blends celebrity interviews with appearances from quirky characters, creating a unique mix of humor and unexpected discussions.

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Guest Spotlight: Ione Skye

Overview of Her Memoir "Say Everything" [04:11 - 06:01]

Ione Skye discusses her debut memoir, "Say Everything," which delves into her early life and Hollywood experiences. The book has garnered attention for its candid portrayal of her relationships with high-profile celebrities.

Notable Quote:
Ione Skye [05:28]: "It's a memoir about chasing love and finding acceptance, which is deeply tied to my relationship with my father."
(Timestamp: 05:28)

Life with a Famous Father [06:21 - 08:04]

Ione reveals her complex relationship with her father, Donovan, a renowned musician. Their estrangement lasted 17 years, which profoundly impacted her personal and professional life.

Notable Quote:
Scott Aukerman [06:25]: "I had no idea that you had a famous father."
(Timestamp: 06:25)
Ione Skye [08:04]: "They split up when my mom was pregnant with me. Meeting him was like discovering a piece of myself I never knew existed."
(Timestamp: 08:04)

Hollywood Relationships and Anecdotes [09:11 - 18:10]

Ione shares humorous and sometimes outrageous stories from her Hollywood days, including near-romantic encounters with celebrities like Keanu Reeves and long-term relationships with rock stars such as Anthony Kiedis and Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys.

Notable Quote:
Ione Skye [09:25]: "I shared a few exes with Madonna."
(Timestamp: 09:25)
Scott Aukerman [17:02]: "Your book details you growing up sort of a Hollywood kid..."
(Timestamp: 17:02)

Transition to Anti-Aging Pioneer [22:52 - 35:28]

In a surreal twist, Ione positions herself as an anti-aging pioneer committed to halting her biological clock. She humorously outlines bizarre methods, such as avoiding water to prevent aging and utilizing specialized "goo glasses" to compensate for her dry eyes.

Notable Quote:
Ione Skye [29:17]: "One of the things I've discovered is that if you avoid all moisture, you'll stop aging because water causes rot."
(Timestamp: 29:17)
Scott Aukerman [35:07]: "You get stupid if I could only do it once a week."
(Timestamp: 35:07)

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Interview Segment: Dr. Scrumptious – The Competitive Eater

Background and Techniques [52:00 - 63:31]

Dr. Scrumptious, a renowned competitive eater from London, shares his unconventional methods to dominate eating contests. His strategies include surgical modifications to expand his mouth and stomach, allowing him to consume more food efficiently.

Notable Quote:
Dr. Scrumptious [52:32]: "I had a couple of my vertebrae removed to wrap my stomach more fully around. It's like a closed circuit of food that just gets so..."
(Timestamp: 62:55)

Competitive Eating Insights [63:37 - 77:35]

The discussion delves into the nitty-gritty of competitive eating, highlighting Dr. Scrumptious' victories in soup-eating contests and his humorous critique of other competitors' methods. The segment is filled with playful banter and absurd humor, typical of the show's style.

Notable Quote:
Dr. Scrumptious [67:15]: "She cheated by eating somebody out and her husband got pissed. Then she surgically modified herself to eat even more."
(Timestamp: 68:15)
Scott Aukerman [67:02]: "Did you ever think back when you were going to Red Hot Chili Peppers and Mary's Dana shows back in 1987 that you'd ever be in a movie called Anaconda?"
(Timestamp: 75:12)

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Comedic Interludes and Ad Breaks

Throughout the episode, various comedic interludes keep the energy high. Scott Aukerman and the guests engage in humorous exchanges, such as comparing household parts to human anatomy and making playful remarks about real-life scenarios like public pornography consumption.

Notable Quote:
Scott Aukerman [29:02]: "So what are the techniques that you're using in order to enter, these techniques that Ione and I can do?"
(Timestamp: 29:02)
Ione Skye [35:28]: "In this is a comedy bang bang thing. If you stop drinking water, you'll be better."
(Timestamp: 35:28)

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts [77:35 - End]

As the episode wraps up, the interactions become increasingly chaotic, with Ione Skye humorously threatening to age rapidly and die from water exposure, aligning with her anti-aging persona. Dr. Scrumptious continues to share ludicrous competitive eating tips, maintaining the show's signature blend of comedy and absurdity.

Notable Quote:
Ione Skye [81:58]: "I'm gonna walk out there into the rain where my body will begin to rot, and you'll watch me."
(Timestamp: 81:58)
Scott Aukerman [82:46]: "That was an end of the show."
(Timestamp: 82:46)

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Key Takeaways

• Ione Skye's Memoir: Offers an honest and humorous look into her life in Hollywood and her relationships with famous personalities.
• Anti-Aging Antics: Ione's playful portrayal of her anti-aging efforts adds a surreal and comedic layer to the conversation.
• Competitive Eating with Dr. Scrumptious: Provides an entertaining glimpse into the unconventional world of competitive eating, complete with exaggerated techniques and humorous rivalries.
• Humorous Banter: The episode is peppered with witty exchanges and absurd humor, making it engaging and entertaining for listeners.

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Recommendations for Listeners

• Fans of Celebrity Memoirs: Ione Skye's candid discussions offer an intriguing perspective on life in the limelight.
• Comedy Enthusiasts: The blend of structured interviews and spontaneous humor is perfect for those seeking laughs intertwined with unique stories.
• Listeners Interested in Unconventional Topics: From anti-aging techniques to competitive eating strategies, this episode covers a broad spectrum of quirky subjects.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisement segments and focuses solely on the main content of the episode to provide a clear and concise overview for those who haven't listened.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

Auto insurance can all seem the same.

[Ione Skye]

Until it comes time to use it. So don't get stuck paying more for less coverage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Switch to USAA auto insurance and you could start saving money in no time.

[Ione Skye]

Get a quote. Today, restrictions apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

USAA. You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns. McDonald's breakfast comes first.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

But.

[Scott Aukerman]

Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky at morning. I think that goat kicked you in the face and your eyes full of blood. Sailor, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. All right, thank you to Colfax McLivernick for that catchphrase submission. Catchphrase superstar Colfax McLivernck. It's a little difficult to say. I think I am going to pass on that one, but thank you so much, Colfax. Wonderful to see you still submitting catchphrases this many years into the show and wonderful that you're all listening this many years into the show. Even if this is your first show or maybe it's your last show, I wouldn't blame you. My name is Scott Aukerman. I'm the host of Comedy Bang Bang. And we have a wonderful show today. Coming up, we have an anti aging pioneer. This is exciting. I mean, aging. We all want to know how to stop it. We all want to know, like, can we freeze exactly where we are or even go backwards a little bit, if you know what I mean. But we're going to be talking to that person a little later. We also have a competitive eater, which is great for a podcast. I think the sounds of eating will be very wonderful for about half of the audience to hear. But before we get to them, let's get to our guest of honor. She is joining the exclusive One Timers Club, which is so exclusive. Who is in the One Timers Club? We have, of course, Donald Glover, Childish Gambino. We have Ben Stiller. We have. Who else is in the One Timers Club? Those are the only two I can think of.

[Travis Skin]

I heard Paul Rudd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul Rudd is in the One Timers Club. That's right. This is an exclusive club. It's fantastic to have you in it. She is an actor who you would know from such wonderful films as the Razor's Edge. Say anything.

[Travis Skin]

The Razor's Edge with who is that? Bill Murray.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bill Murray, yes. Oh, no. Rivers.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember he did that? Serious.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Like the same year as Ghostbusters.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, but I liked it. I was.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't see it. I remember him standing on, like a flat Boat.

[Travis Skin]

A Razor's Edge. Yeah, he was. Yeah, it was. He was good at.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was that the most of the film, him standing on this boat?

[Travis Skin]

I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

River's Edge, of course, is what I'm talking about. It's very confusing because river is your old friend and he was. But he wasn't in it and it was Crispin Glitch. It should have been called Crispin's Edge.

[Travis Skin]

It should have. He was very edgy in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was edgy in it. He wore that sideways mullet.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, it kept falling off and it was good.

[Scott Aukerman]

She now, though, is an author.

[Travis Skin]

I am an author.

[Scott Aukerman]

Her books say any. Or. Sorry, say everything. I'm getting all the time today.

[Travis Skin]

No, that's. I made it confusing just so I would mess up myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if you called it State Everything Okay. Then it's like so far away from say anything that people wouldn't confuse it.

[Travis Skin]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Aver anything.

[Travis Skin]

A lot of statements.

[Scott Aukerman]

But this comes out this week. It is a memoir, which is exciting. Please welcome for the first time, Ione Sky. Hello.

[Travis Skin]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wonderful to have you on the show.

[Travis Skin]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you. You say you've heard Paul Rudd. So you've heard an episode of this before?

[Travis Skin]

I have. I've heard probably seven or eight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seven or eight, okay. But you are a threedom listener, perhaps.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, Major. I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you call yourself.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like the name that everyone calls themselves when they're. They're a threedom listener.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, my God. Wait, what is it? Isn't it something bad or something?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, that they decided to be called that? So.

[Travis Skin]

Right. So I. My. I just. That didn't penetrate my brain because I was too vain to call myself that. But yeah, I'm. Well, in fact.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's wonderful to have you on the show.

[Travis Skin]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, of course, big fan of yours, love the films, even though I can't remember what they're called. And this new book, I've read it, if you can believe that. I read a whole book.

[Travis Skin]

Thank you. That's amazing. Well, even my dyslexic friends that I gave, they said they haven't read a book in, like five years, but they couldn't put it down. So that's my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I couldn't figure out how to read it, probably. What do I do with this thing? Do I put it down or keep trying? I don't know. But it's wonderful. It's a memoir about your. Would you say it covers mainly your early life?

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. And then the end gets just rushed in There so people know I'm okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

When is your current husband coming into this? It's about 20 pages before the end.

[Travis Skin]

Just so you know. But if you want to know, I make it and I'm great. Better than ever. Just go. In fact, I gave it to Crispin at one point, and he said I had to read the end first just to make sure. Because I'll read memoirs and stop if I know that it's like a bad ending.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Travis Skin]

I don't want to hear the years they're taking pills in a bed. I'm like Marlena Dietrich. I want you to be happy at the way end. So this is a happy ending.

[Scott Aukerman]

This one has a happy ending, although we're not at the ending yet. Unless you die in the middle of this podcast, I might.

[Travis Skin]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that would be a very happy ending, I think, to be on this show, actually, you know, so it covers your early life as well as. I mean, it covers a fair bit of your life even before you start acting.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had no idea that you had a famous father.

[Travis Skin]

Right.

[Ione Skye]

I had.

[Scott Aukerman]

I had no idea.

[Travis Skin]

But your father is Donovan, this mellow, yellow sunshine Superman. Hurdy Gertie man. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

He wrote a lot about men doing like. Oh, wow, Superman. You love the song I used to sing, Sunshine Superman. When Batman. Superman came out.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, really?

[Scott Aukerman]

I would go, batman, Superman. Fucking around.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was in my head constantly.

[Travis Skin]

I love those. I love those scenes. He also has a bizarre song, Atlantis, but that's. It's in Goodfellas. But it's this amazing just voiceover he does about Atlantis. He loves Atlantis.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where is it? In. Good. I don't remember them going to Atlantis in Goodfellas.

[Travis Skin]

I know. It just sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did leave for about five minutes to go to the bathroom.

[Travis Skin]

That might have been.

[Scott Aukerman]

Swim down to the bottom of the oce.

[Travis Skin]

Yes, they did with my dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that a surprise to you? When you are watching a movie like Goodfellas and does no one tip you off to suddenly you hear your estranged fathers?

[Travis Skin]

I love. Like, the only time we've worked together is I think we're both in Zodiac. Cause I'm in Zodiac and his song is so. I felt very excited about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes.

[Travis Skin]

Cause it's like we sort of work together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Zodiac, of course. Paul F. Tompkins, Comfort Watch.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, it is. Oh, the mood of that. I get it. I get it. It's very co. Something about that. I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's about a serial killer.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never see anyone. Spoiler. I guess you never see anyone Actually get killed in it. Right.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, I don't think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just all about trying to find a guy. And people are wearing sweaters.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, exactly. The whole sweater and the mood and the look is good.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. You have this famous father, but you don't know him?

[Travis Skin]

Know him? No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't even meet him for years and years.

[Travis Skin]

17 years. Like, really don't know him. Like, they split up when my mom was pregnant with me. So when I met him, I was like, I'm touching my father for a few years ago. I was like, it's kind of like what it must be like if you're adopted or something. A little bit. I was sort of like that. Oh, I'm meeting my biological. Although I knew, you know, of him so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, you. I think people who are adopted don't necessarily see news of their father in Rolling Stone all the time.

[Travis Skin]

Listen to the records all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but it's. Yeah, it's fairly. It feels like it's fairly traumatizing for you because it seems like a lot of what happens in the book afterwards is maybe a result of that.

[Travis Skin]

It's called storytelling. No, I had to. I think so. I mean, that was sort of coming together, like, ooh, I'm chasing love a lot in my book. And acceptance. And this must be about my dad. So it might be. I'm not 100%, but it's a great storytelling. No, I mean, I'm sure it has something to do with that. I don't know if that's the whole reason I was chasing tail so aggressively.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, speaking of chasing tail, it's a very sexy book. You describe a lot of.

[Travis Skin]

Wrote it to turn people on.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of sexual encounters with many celebrities.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, I shared a few with Madonna.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. You shared a few exes with Madonna.

[Travis Skin]

Yes, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not shared a few sexual encounters.

[Travis Skin]

No, no, I never did.

[Scott Aukerman]

But there was that. It details a lot of. Like, you dating when you're first starting out doing movies like the River's Edge. You almost hook up with Keanu at one point. And then you have, you know, these long romances with these rock stars like Anthony Kiedis. You get married to Adrock from the Beastie Boys. All sorts of. Just, like, a lot of stuff going on in this.

[Travis Skin]

A lot of musicians. And I'm now with a musician.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Ben Lee. And you even, like, almost hook up with robbery Downey Jr. Oh, yeah.

[Travis Skin]

That was an insane. I mean, I was friends with him for a long time. Not anymore. Cause, you know, he's maybe a shut in billionaire that I can't. Who knows where he. But back in the day. But that was my looking for like a husband again. Like thinking I was ready for a husband again. But it was so funny. I visited him in jail and that was just like really funny to me because he was so hysterical the way he was living in there, like gluten free diet. And he just. And his whole thing to get him through times like pretending he's at shutters, doing these meditations. Like at shutters.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would say that he and his cellmate would. Would meditate every morning and imagine they were shutters on the beach.

[Travis Skin]

His cellmate would be like, where are we now? And he's like, shudders. But I love how bougie it is. Like shutters in Santa Monica.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not like a lot of people. If you don't know what shutters on the beach is. It's a hotel that features shutters on the windows.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

I don't know. It's like a very. It's sort of a bougie or was like. It's just funny that you. That's where you imagine. But it must have been better than being in imagining you're in jail.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was that the one time you've ever been to jail?

[Travis Skin]

Yes, I think. Yeah. Yeah, that was. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I mean the book details you growing up sort of a Hollywood kid where people like Robert Downey Jr. You know, because he's like in less than zero and he's, you know, I think.

[Travis Skin]

Through all through my brother, my older brother.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your older brother was like a model in an actor or is a model in an actor. Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

And he just like. He was so outgoing and he just like found every scene, every.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, you keep having like friends through him.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. Really. He, you know, like the Zappas suddenly are your friends for years because through my brother. And then he dated like Susanna Hoffs or And even when we were young, someone who was in double trouble. Remember one of the twins, Jean. It's actually. Who's that? Comedian, actress from any. That was. That was exciting when we were little because they're on a sitcom anyway. But yeah, he always was just finding people. Even that one day he brought River Phoenix over because they were filming like a TV movie on our street.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And he brings River Phoenix over.

[Travis Skin]

And we weren't like faint. We weren't. You know, we were just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Neither of you. You were just kind of like. Had you even started acting at that point?

[Travis Skin]

No, my brother was just started trying. He got himself an agent. He did it all on his own, but he brought him in just to like, hey, someone's working on our street. Anyway, he was like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you sort of fall backwards into acting a little bit. Like, you get this opportunity to audition for the River's Edge, and you hadn't really thought about acting at that point?

[Travis Skin]

No, I was very. I was creative but extremely shy. And I wasn't like a theater kid. I was just, like, drawing. And I loved, like, musicals and stuff, like, whatever. Singing in the Rain or West side Story. I was always, like, doing them in my living room, but never. I was too scared to, like. But I forced myself to do that one audition because, I don't know. I guess I sense, like, I need. I don't know. I guess I just wanted to get out of high school.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And which you. Do you get emancipated. You. Yeah, at one. You kind of like, fall backwards into. Say anything in a way, because Moon says to you, like, oh, hey, Cameron Crowe is looking for the. The person to be in this movie, and I think you're right for it. So come meet him at my house.

[Travis Skin]

Yes. Yes. I mean, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's all. It's like, he met you and. And then. Did you have to audition?

[Travis Skin]

Oh, yeah, I had to majorly audition. But what was fun, because it was Jim Brooks's Bungalow on, like, 20th Century Fox, and I'm like, a huge. I love old Hollywood. I love. I. And was the Homer Simpson statue there yet? Gosh, I wonder. 80.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Travis Skin]

It was 86. Like, no, it wouldn't have been.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although it would have been weird if it.

[Travis Skin]

I know before the Simpsons was ever.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the air, they're like, well, I don't know. There's a statue of this guy that we think is going to be important.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

Like the mashed potato thing in 2001 or when I was a close encounter. It's like just someone thought of it and built it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but that was thrilling for me. As much as I was afraid to audition, I was so gagging for any. I love all the business stuff. I thought it was exciting.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so there's a lot of that in the book of just you kind of interacting with famous people. And I'm trying to hype up here. You know what I mean? Like, I'm trying to, like.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The emotional aspect of it. But, like, you know, there's a lot of, like, cameo.

[Travis Skin]

Star cameos in this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? Keanu comes in and he gets into the shower at One point, right? Very sexy book. Did you. Did you get to record the audiobook?

[Travis Skin]

I did. I did it. And I'm living in Sydney. I did it in Sydney and I loved it. I loved doing it more than I thought I would.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how do you do it when, like. Because there are a lot of star cameos in this, and there's a lot of dialogue from these. Do you impersonate or.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, I tried. I've tried. So my favorite was doing my dad, who has a really funny hippie, weird, like, riddley. But the ones that I got nervous about were, like, doing Adam Adrock. Because back then, everyone was like, you know, talking and lingo and, like, you know, like dope and whatever. And I was so afraid to get it wrong. And I bet you it's terrible. That part might be terrible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I hear a little bit of.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, snap.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, all you gotta do is here's your way. And you start with mmm, drop.

[Travis Skin]

Exactly. So, yeah, so I think that part's gonna be very cringy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me hear your Keanu.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, yeah. So. Oh, sorry. Oh, like.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, what?

[Travis Skin]

I. Here's a towel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, does he offer you a towel at one point?

[Travis Skin]

I know I'm aggressively. Thankfully, he didn't let me go all the way because I'm trying my hardest, and he's being a real gentleman, which did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you have to clear a lot of the stories with the people involved?

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. The legal stuff is interesting. And it's different in. In England and Australia, it's different because you can say anything you want. Say everything you want about public people if it's already in the open and people know. But in. In England, it's different. Like, it's. And you can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's easier to sue people there.

[Travis Skin]

I think so. And you can't hear. Say stuff about people who aren't famous. They can cut, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. You had to rename your high school boyfriend.

[Travis Skin]

My first husband. I mean, husband for him. My mother's first husband. I had to change his name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Travis Skin]

But the famous, he'll come after us and kill us.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, like, did you send it to Keanu Reeves and go like, is this cool?

[Travis Skin]

I didn't send it because I was scared of his powerful publicist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Travis Skin]

Coming in and saying, see, this is. You have to change it. And I'm like, if you send it.

[Scott Aukerman]

To anyone, you're going to get notes. I would just not send it.

[Travis Skin]

I didn't. I only sent it to, like, friend. A couple friends. And I kept my mom really Close. Because I wanted her to love it and be. Feel a part of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, my theory is you talk so much about hooking up with various men and women throughout kind of your history. Yeah. And going into some detail with it, my theory is then at the end of the book, Ben comes in, your husband, and you have to talk about how good he is at sex in order to.

[Travis Skin]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, it was a deal that you made with them. Like, okay, if I can talk about all these people, then I get to say you're good at sex.

[Travis Skin]

Exactly. I know. I did hear a friend wrote a memoir about somebody famous, and he was like, as long as you say I have a really big. Because he did have a big, big penis. And she was like, do you want me to say, yeah, I can. Well, it was about Ben Mendelsohn. Ben Mendelson?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

So he. And he's named in the book. But he was like, good. You say, good, good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just. Just mention that I have a big penis.

[Travis Skin]

And she's like, I will. And it's true. But, yeah, with Ben, it's funny, though. Like, I had such a history, and he's, like, younger than me, my hus. Now, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he. He probably always will be.

[Travis Skin]

He will. I think so. And so he came in and, you know, it's good. Sometimes I feel guilty. Like, I feel like he should have had more. He had a little bit of touring years where he was a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sure he was fine. But, you know, he's a rock star as well, you know.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. I don't want him to feel competitive.

[Scott Aukerman]

He'll have his own book. There are other. Other books by other people that I'm sure you've been in scar tissue. Scar tissue, yeah. Like, most notably, which is Anthony KE To.

[Travis Skin]

And I don't think Flea's book. I don't think it's. It. The only two people I talked to was Flea and Tom Sharpling about making, for some reason, getting a little advice or something. I don't know. It just sort of happened, and I can't remember what they told me to do. Well, I think Flea said, write. Write every day or something. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Flea said play bass every day, which didn't really apply to this, but. Well, it's a fantastic book and a lot of really interesting stuff and very kind of sad in parts and happy in others.

[Travis Skin]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And, I mean, you must be excited coming this week.

[Travis Skin]

I'm really excited. Yeah. People are really loving it. It's coming out finally. I love it. I'M so happy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you gonna write another book about either the rest of your life or just suddenly you get into like, hard boiled crime noir or something?

[Travis Skin]

I don't have. No. I can't even imagine.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a writer now.

[Travis Skin]

I know, I know. I know the pressure to write the second one, but, yeah, I can. I'll write all about. I don't even know. I'll write about this podcast. Yeah, that's. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, shit.

[Travis Skin]

My lawyer's companion piece. That's awful. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's very exciting to have a book out. Are you going to be out there on. When does the New York Times bestseller list come out? Thursday or Friday or something.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, but if everyone buys a book right now, I will be on that list.

[Scott Aukerman]

Buy it now. There are. There are so many memoirs like Jeanette McCurdy's and stuff that just like stick around forever.

[Travis Skin]

You just have to say you're really happy that your mom died because that's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your mom's still alive.

[Travis Skin]

No. Yes, she is. She's. But, you know, but yeah, it's. It's. It's really good. I'm excited. It came out really well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic. So you're on the page. You're on the screen, both big and small. And phones, I would imagine they're. There's like pictures of you on people's phones. I'm sure Ben has a picture of you on his phone. Probably.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. That's exciting. I know. It is exciting. I know. Yeah, it is exciting. What about those people that watch porn in public on their phones?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, what about them?

[Travis Skin]

I don't like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like. Oh, okay.

[Travis Skin]

On the train. What is that on the tree?

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Travis Skin]

Or something like, I've seen that now, like, people will just like publicly. It's the new form of flashing headphones on. Or sometimes not. My friend just said she's on. Don't go on the subway in New York. Because the last time someone's just standing watching pornography on their phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's their data.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, yeah. No, there's nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could always look over their shoulder like.

[Travis Skin]

And enjoy it. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You suddenly don't have to pay for this porn.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But your book, while very sexy. I wouldn't say it's pornography.

[Travis Skin]

No. No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pornography, of course. Defined as. I know it when I see it and I see it all the time. But say everything is out in stores now. Pick it up. It's hardback, right? Oh, I love those hardbacks.

[Travis Skin]

And it's good looking to put out. It has a nice compliment.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the COVID Cause I haven't seen the. Oh, you sent me the COVID but I only clicked on the actual book.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. What's on the COVID Yeah, me at 15 looking like too, you know, like you're a little worried for this character. Like is she getting into too much or. But oh, wow. She's so ethereal and interesting and you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you on the back cover too? Like a picture of you now.

[Travis Skin]

That sick me now. Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think it's on the back cover. Yes. On the back or the inside? Yes, the back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two pictures of Ione on the front. On the back. That's personally, that's all I need.

[Travis Skin]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

But then there's a whole book inside.

[Travis Skin]

I have brains there too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say everything is out now. We're going to take a break. Can you stick around and talk to our other guests? We have a. An anti aging pioneer. We also have a competitive eater. This is a big, big show.

[Travis Skin]

This is perfect for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The One Timers Club. Enjoy it while you're here.

[Travis Skin]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because then what's the Two Timers Club?

[Travis Skin]

That sounds bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's terrible. The One Timers Club. Ione sky. Say everything. We're going to be right back. We'll have more Ione, more comedy. Bang bang. We'll be right back after this.

[Ione Skye]

At Amica Insurance, we know it's more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Than just a car or a house.

[Ione Skye]

It's the four wheels that get you where you're going and the four walls that welcome you home. When you combine auto and home insurance with Amica, we'll help protect it all. And the more you cover, the more you can save. Amica, empathy is our best policy.

[Travis Skin]

Lowe's knows that your deadlines don't change.

[Scott Aukerman]

Even when your job does.

[Travis Skin]

But with Lowe's, buy online pickup in store, we'll help you adjust on the fly. And when you absolutely can't leave the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Project, we can deliver to your job.

[Travis Skin]

Site as soon as same day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lowe's knows pros. We help you save.

[Travis Skin]

Valid on eligible in stock orders and select zip codes. Placed by 2pm for same day delivery.

[Scott Aukerman]

By 8pm subject to driver availability. Fees vary based on purchase.

[Travis Skin]

More terms apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

C loewe's.com sameday delivery.

[Travis Skin]

For details, get the Angel Reef special at McDonald's. Now let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good?

[Scott Aukerman]

I participate in restaurants for a limited.

[Ione Skye]

Time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy bang, bang. We are back. Ione sky is here. Say everything. Is the book approximately 300 pages on this?

[Travis Skin]

I believe so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You ever think like, what if I just wrote another hundred?

[Travis Skin]

I did. I wrote probably another 400.

[Scott Aukerman]

Another 400.

[Travis Skin]

But it didn't. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Didn't make the cut.

[Travis Skin]

No. On the cutting floor, that 400. So much about my mom because the notes were like. More Enid. My mom's name Enid. Yeah. And a lot of. Just a lot of different stories that were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you got notes saying more Enid when you wrote it and then they cut it out.

[Travis Skin]

It's true. I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a waste of time.

[Travis Skin]

I know it's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, this is the thing. People giving notes don't know anything.

[Travis Skin]

I know it's like. But yeah, it's about approximately 300. I really am. I'm sort of weirdly rule oriented. When they told me this is a good length, this is the good length I was having.

[Scott Aukerman]

300 is what they want it to be.

[Travis Skin]

No, if it's exactly 300, I think it's like 299.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me look at it.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, whatever the good. The good length is. Oh, I'm so curious.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever the good length is, that's what I like when a woman says that. Whatever the good length is. I'm fine with whatever you got. We need to get to our next guest. He's an anti aging pioneer. This is exciting because I, you know, I think we. We both live in Hollywood. You grew up.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And youth is at a premium in this town.

[Travis Skin]

So true.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we're going to talk to him about it. Please welcome Travis Skin.

[Ione Skye]

Hello, Scott. Hello, Ione. Hi, nice to be here. Thank you for having me. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're joining the one timers club as well.

[Ione Skye]

That's right. This is, this is the first. First of, I'm sure many perhaps. I would love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I honestly, it's so hard to get guests on this show. I would love it if you would come back.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I would be happy to. I'm very thrilled to be here and to just be talking about my work and my experience.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What is your work? Because obviously you're an anti aging pioneer. What does one do to become a pioneer in this field?

[Ione Skye]

That's a good question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Ione Skye]

You're welcome.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're on track to be back another time at least.

[Ione Skye]

So sad. I did notice. Ione, you never said. That's a good question. And Scott needs the positive reinforcement.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ione, do you. Here's an opportunity to say it now.

[Travis Skin]

Listen, I'm. I'm thrilled to be doing this with you. Like, really.

[Scott Aukerman]

But what about the questions? The questions, were they good?

[Travis Skin]

Very, very, very good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, perfect.

[Ione Skye]

Good. That'll make the rest of this easier for all of us.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's so wonderful to have you, Travis Skinn. Are you a doctor or are you.

[Ione Skye]

No, no, I'm not. I made my money in the tech industry. Oh, doing what? In 1996, I bought the domain name horse.com and then I sold it for $380 million in 2001.

[Scott Aukerman]

Horse.com.

[Ione Skye]

Horse.Com.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I've been over to horse.com recently, have you?

[Ione Skye]

I haven't, no. Now it's mainly a Malaysian gambling and pornography site, so maybe on the train people are watching Horse.com.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's great. I mean, do you get a piece anytime anyone logs on to horse.com?

[Ione Skye]

I get a little bit every time someone logs in to gamble or watch pornography and masturbate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay, great.

[Ione Skye]

Which is great. And that comes right back into my pockets and I can put it towards my project of never dying. I don't want to ever die, and I'm not going to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. I mean, it's possible, probably. You think it's probable? I know it's probable because I sometimes wonder if I'm ever gonna die because I'm the person I'm seeing the world through. It's my pov.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And if I'm gone, then does the world even exist? So I think I might just never die.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, yes, Scott. When you die, the world will continue move on like nothing changed. But I don't want that to ever happen to me, you understand? So I've got a team of doctors and they're working with me to prevent aging, to stop me right where I am, which is at 47 years old.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're 47 currently, or you've been 47 for a few years?

[Ione Skye]

Well, I'll tell you this. I'm 40 and by, I guess, calendars, if you trust them. But my doctors say that I have the mitochondria of a 46 year old. And that's just gonna keep going. I'm just gonna keep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it gonna go down or is it gonna stay?

[Ione Skye]

I think it's gonna go down and hopefully not too far. Cause I don't. We don't know what happens if you get into negative age.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it would be weird to be a teenager first and then to be a baby, but then negative age. Yeah. What happens?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, right. I would love to be a baby again. That sounds ideal, but I don't think that's, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it about being a baby that you wanna do again?

[Ione Skye]

Oh, you can shit wherever you want. You don't really have responsibilities. You're smooth. A lot of good things.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can shit wherever you want right now.

[Ione Skye]

People frown on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. So you want to do it without people frowning?

[Ione Skye]

I don't like the judgment, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so what are the techniques that you're using in order to enter, these techniques that Ione and I can do?

[Ione Skye]

Absolutely. It's not that hard if you think about it. One of the things I've kind of discovered is that if you avoid all moisture, if you avoid all water, you'll stop aging because water causes rot. Right. If you put something in water for a long time, it breaks apart. It rots things out in the wilderness. So I just cut out, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. If you have a leaky faucet or leaky pipes in your house, your rust and then your mold, mold, your floors suddenly warp, you all get it.

[Ione Skye]

This is great. You all get. That's exactly what happens. Our bodies are just like pipes. They're just pipes.

[Travis Skin]

I wasn't buying this drink four glasses of water a day thing. Like, what is that?

[Ione Skye]

No, that's bullshit that the government wants you to believe to just sell more water out of the pipes.

[Scott Aukerman]

The government sells water? You think?

[Ione Skye]

Who pay?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess stores, but I don't know who they pay to get it.

[Ione Skye]

What about in your bathroom, your shower? You pay for stores for that water?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's. Yeah, that's a good point.

[Travis Skin]

Jennifer Aniston with her Evian. I pay her well.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, she's part of the problem because she's. In a lot of ways, she's my biggest enemy because she's constantly pushing the Evian and everybody. I'm saying, like, no, cut it out. You can just, you know. Do you remember the Gatorade packets that was like the powder that you would put in?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sure.

[Ione Skye]

They still make those. You can just, you know, that'll hydrate you just by.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or you don't want to be hydrated. You just want the sustenance.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. The hardest part of this is, is I love the taste of Gatorade. So when I cut out all liquids, I was like, how am I going to get that taste of Gatorade? So. And they stopped making the gum. So then I just put the.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was the hardest part for you.

[Ione Skye]

It's the hardest part. It's the only hard part. The Rest of it's been great.

[Scott Aukerman]

You grew up with a love of Gatorade.

[Ione Skye]

Love of Gatorade, love of Gatorade, gum, love of the powder. Just love the aesthetic of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about when, like, the Eagles won the super bowl recently and they dumped the Gatorade on the coach? How do you feel about that?

[Ione Skye]

Well, he's dead, man. As far as I'm concerned, he's dead and rotting in the ground right now. I don't know why he'd let them do that. If someone did that to me, I would shoot them before they did it.

[Travis Skin]

You sound judgmental for someone who doesn't.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, I would never judge. I don't believe in judgment. I would never judge. I'm just saying that as a objective fact that man will die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So.

[Ione Skye]

And that's good.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's good. You. You like the fact that other people die. Why?

[Ione Skye]

If that's what they want. I assume if you touch water, that's what you want. I want people to be happy.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you think going to the beach. Swimming pools.

[Ione Skye]

You can go to the beach. Just have to stay, you know, like, the Santa Monica beach is just so big. Like, you just stay right by the pch.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about when you're, like, you say to your partner, you're like, I don't want to get in the water today, but you roll your pants legs up a little bit, but then the tide comes in and actually, like, a little too far and it hits your toes.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I would never do that. I would absolutely never do that. And, I mean, I don't have that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems to happen every time you go to the beach.

[Ione Skye]

Me personally or anyone. Are you watching me?

[Scott Aukerman]

I know I want to make. Don't watch me. I'm not watching you.

[Ione Skye]

I live a private life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Travis.

[Ione Skye]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Travis. Travis. I'm not watching you. I don't have drones following you.

[Ione Skye]

I didn't bring up drones. You brought up drones.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't have a team of private investigators, you know.

[Ione Skye]

No, I'm not bringing this up. I'm not bringing this up. I only's not bringing this up. You're bringing this up.

[Scott Aukerman]

The only reason I'm bringing it up is to say I'm not doing it.

[Ione Skye]

Well, listen, someday you're going to be dead and I'm going to be alive. And then I'll celebrate.

[Scott Aukerman]

But what if I do exactly what you do?

[Ione Skye]

Then we can be together, okay? You.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then we can be together forever. Are you viewing this like you're going to be a clan of immortals? Who all stick together or do maybe.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. Because you have to be on the same mindset. Because like what my life is, is bad. Right. Every day I pray for death, but that's the small price to pay to live forever. You pray for death every day my body feels bad. I have headaches, all that. My skin, if I walk naked, it sounds like corduroy. I am so dry. It's horrible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pearl Jam song.

[Travis Skin]

Yes.

[Ione Skye]

I just, I want.

[Scott Aukerman]

That'd be tough to have your body sound like that because at first I.

[Ione Skye]

Was like, great, great jam. But now I'm like, I can't listen to this anymore. So I have to always be wearing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Clothes because your body now suddenly is dried out to be the grooves of essentially. What?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. 33. Yeah. You're looking at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, if it's that bad.

[Ione Skye]

Because then I get to live forever. I get to live more, right? So like. Yeah, some people get to, you know, there's that like live fast and die young, leave a good looking corpse and all that sort of stuff I don't abide by.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think all corpses are bad looking. I'm just going to go on record, especially after like five days.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Ione Skye]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. After five days. That's about the point.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. I just watched the Interview with a Vampire and there was some corpses in there and Living forever. Yeah, in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

But so you relate to this a lot having just seen one movie called Interview with a Vampire.

[Travis Skin]

Well, you Live Forever.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Kristen Dunst, though, she was a vampire in that movie. And yet.

[Travis Skin]

Young.

[Scott Aukerman]

She was young. And now we've seen proof that she wasn't actually a vampire because we've seen her currently.

[Travis Skin]

Right. That's right. But Tom Cruise on the other hand.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, he looks good. He looks.

[Travis Skin]

I mean, does he.

[Scott Aukerman]

He looks good.

[Travis Skin]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I will say, when I saw Top Gun, Maverick, yeah, he. There was a little pre roll where he came out and thanked everyone for coming to the movie theater and someone in the theater went, oh, no, he looks old.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, Tom, it comes for us all.

[Ione Skye]

That's rude to you.

[Travis Skin]

Too much condensation.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, that's exactly right. Right. Like I've talked to him and I've tried to get him to get on board, but he's not interested.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's not into it. That surprises me.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, he wants to be doing stunts and clouds and stuff. And this would cut that down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, because of the moisture in the clouds.

[Ione Skye]

Because of the moisture in the air. In the clouds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, got it. So why would you want to even live forever if it sounds like it's not fun?

[Ione Skye]

You know, I've never really thought about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You haven't thought about this?

[Ione Skye]

No. I guess at a certain point you get so rich that you need other worlds to conquer. And I thought if I was the oldest, you know, then I'm the best again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Like, if our friend Fred Guinness was to, you know, put you in the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest human being alive, that's something that you've done that no one else has done.

[Ione Skye]

That's something. And then all the other old people are coming for you, and they're gonna try to beat you, so you have to stay ahead of that. And I just don't want that, you know? You can tell, you know, like, this is my life now. It is what it is.

[Travis Skin]

Are you at the top of the game in this new venture? This new.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you're only 47.

[Ione Skye]

You say 47, and all my doctors say I'm doing great. And, I mean, I pay them millions of dollars a month, so they have no reason to lie to me. They're saying that I'm as healthy as.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyone, so they're happy. So they have no reason to lie because they're making enough money where they're.

[Ione Skye]

Like, unhappy people lie.

[Scott Aukerman]

We could do whatever we want now. We're so rich. I could lie to this guy, but what's the point? I'm so rich.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, exactly. You get it. You absolutely understand. So, you know, that is. I feel encouraged by that. And, you know, I just want to spread this around any of you. Any of you. And this is a comedy bang bang thing. If you stop drinking water, you'll be better.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's your only method, is just stop drinking water?

[Ione Skye]

Touching or being around or in. Yeah, and not just water. Any liquid, I guess, because all liquids are.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, touching water. I thought it meant touching. Okay. Water anywhere around it.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, well, touching is troubling, too, because sometimes that becomes a sexual thing, and then you start sweating. That's bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's liquids in most of the things that, you know, we rub together.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, most people. Not me anymore. Like, you have dry dick. Oh, yeah, Yeah, I. Very dry. I keep talking about the Gatorade powder, but, like, when I ejaculate, it's basically that.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's Gatorade powder.

[Ione Skye]

It's Gatorade powder. What flavor? I don't know. You'll have to ask some of my friends. But the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Some of your friends?

[Ione Skye]

Some of my friends yeah, I'm not. I'm also polygamous. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's the same doctors we have, but.

[Travis Skin]

It'S Gatorade tasting, maybe flavor.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, Gatorade tasting. And that's kind of the fun of it, is like, is it going to be orange? Is it going to be cool blue? You don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah. Do you have loved ones? Do you have a family, in other words?

[Ione Skye]

No. Absolutely. One of the things about living forever and this interview for a vampire actually did a good job of representing this, is you can't have loved ones because unless they get on board, they're not going to do it.

[Travis Skin]

You have lizards, dry animals.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, dry animals.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tortoises. Yeah, tortoises.

[Ione Skye]

Scott, listen to yourself. Turtles.

[Travis Skin]

An amphibian.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tortoise.

[Ione Skye]

Yes, the tortoise.

[Travis Skin]

Tortoise.

[Ione Skye]

Okay, just. You sound so stupid, like, no, it can't be a turtle.

[Scott Aukerman]

I apologize. Travis. Skin. I, you know, I, I, I thought that I was asking good questions. Suddenly. You were before I veered into what.

[Travis Skin]

Made you so angry.

[Ione Skye]

Turtles are amphibians. They live in the water.

[Travis Skin]

Maybe you miss them. I feel like you miss them. You're getting triggered.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. That's the only difference between a turtle and a tortoise, is one lives exclusively on land.

[Ione Skye]

Sounds right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got so upset and you don't even know.

[Ione Skye]

I have a headache all the time. Okay, so I'm a little.

[Travis Skin]

Maybe you're jealous because tortoises live. They do live.

[Ione Skye]

They do.

[Travis Skin]

Forever.

[Scott Aukerman]

They live at 100 years, don't they, if they don't get run over.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, that's one. That's also one of my main concerns, getting run over. Yeah. No amount of avoiding water is going to avoid me getting run over. And I don't look well.

[Scott Aukerman]

That must be part of it. Wanting to live forever is, you know, that accidents can happen to you. You can, you know, be asleep and suddenly carbon monoxide poisons you.

[Ione Skye]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can get flattened by a piano that one of those comical movers is hoisting up a rope, you know?

[Ione Skye]

Absolutely. And that's why I don't. That's not how I get the pianos in my house. Right. I built a ramp.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many pianos do you have in your house?

[Ione Skye]

8.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they all grands or some baby.

[Ione Skye]

No, no, no, no. It's each for a different mood. So, like, I've got some grands, and I've got some of just the baby grands, and then I've just got some, like, fun keyboard sort of like, synthesis.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many pianos do you have Ione? I would imagine you have a few.

[Travis Skin]

I did, but not anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

None in Sydney?

[Travis Skin]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many guitars?

[Travis Skin]

Oh, four. Only four? I think so we kept it light when we moved to Sydney.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

We got a pod and we just can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

An ipod. An iPod and four guitars. It's all we needed.

[Ione Skye]

It's all you need.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you got rid of all of your family? I mean, do you still have.

[Ione Skye]

Well, they got rid of me is another way to look at it. Because the way I live now wasn't suiting the way they live because they were a very sort of like effusive, huggy, like, happy, positive family thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Human beings are made up of what, 70 some odd percent of water? Must be terrible to touch one of them. Oh, it feels, you know, what if you. What if you, like, hug one and suddenly water comes out like sweat.

[Ione Skye]

Be terrible. And to me now, because I haven't been touching people, all humans feel like those, like squishy tubes that are filled with water that you squeeze that the kids have, you know. Do you know what I'm talking about? Did you know what I'm talking about?

[Travis Skin]

Squishy tooth. So they're like, kids have. How can I explain what generation?

[Ione Skye]

Oh, boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I think kids never grow out of squishy.

[Travis Skin]

Like those things to make balloons. And you blew into that little tube.

[Ione Skye]

Not those plastic balloons. Gosh, how would I just. I've never had to describe one of these things.

[Travis Skin]

Wait, a squishy thing?

[Ione Skye]

It's like a rat.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, yeah, it looks like the gas station kind of thing that blows.

[Ione Skye]

Kind of. Yes, butterflies.

[Travis Skin]

I know what you mean. And when you go like this, it.

[Ione Skye]

Looks like you're like, can I get.

[Scott Aukerman]

A video of you doing that?

[Travis Skin]

I sound really trashy, and I'm not, but yes, I know what you mean. And they feel.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, yeah, that's what people feel like.

[Travis Skin]

Okay, that's not great. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This must be a lonely existence, though. I mean, don't you ever long for the companionship of another person?

[Ione Skye]

That's what AI is for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're an AI guy.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, yeah. We'll all be AI guys someday.

[Scott Aukerman]

So.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I'm. I'm very invested in my friends.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, that sounds like in. Everything's a movie to me. Like in you. No, what was the movie?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you, though, is not a bad movie. You is a Netflix series starring one of my favorite comedians.

[Travis Skin]

Never mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

But yeah, yeah.

[Travis Skin]

So you have a satisfying. Do you have a thing on your eyes that you look at? Or. Or it's you just have a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you wear those goo Goo glasses?

[Ione Skye]

I wear the goo glasses and they don't work so good for me because my eyes are so dry, it's hard for me to see. But like, you can change these. Aip, you can program to whoever you want. So I just get. A lot of. You would love this, Scott. You can just have them compliment you all the time. And that's sort of the relationship and that's fun and that's good. And that's, that's all I need.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what is your day to day? Like you. You have a series of chatbots who are your friends?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. So I, I, I, I awake in my bed. So you have a bed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Beds are open.

[Ione Skye]

Absolutely not. A waterbed. I know where you're going with it. Okay. It's a regular bed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but I mean a water bed. You're not touching the water unless it leaks.

[Ione Skye]

I feel like you're not listening to me. I don't want even the chance of rotting from that bursting and getting. I've seen so many comedy movies where that's happened. I don't want it to happen to me. All right, so anyway, I wake up with an excruciating head headache. I take some Advil Dry, and then I. Advil Dry. Advil Dry. It's a brand they made just for me. And then I.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you take it? You, how do you ingest it?

[Ione Skye]

Nose.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nose.

[Ione Skye]

Nose. Yeah, and it's very.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're snorting it? Are you crushing it up into a powdered snort?

[Ione Skye]

No, it comes pre crushed for me. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's so cool.

[Ione Skye]

Isn't that so cool? The doctors, my doctors are so good. And they care about me. They really do care about me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you wake up in your bed. Bed. And then you take your Advil dry. Then what happens?

[Ione Skye]

Then the doctor.

[Scott Aukerman]

It seems like you have then 16 hours to fill. What do you do?

[Ione Skye]

Well, no, again, I do not have energy. So, like, my doctors come in, they check all my vitals. They tell me I'm doing good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they living with you in, in the compound or do they have to commute to you?

[Ione Skye]

Well, there's a lot. So I'm in the guest house and then they're in the big house and then they come out to me, which is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you in the guest house?

[Ione Skye]

There's just a lot of the them. I don't want to put them out, you know, they shouldn't have to bunk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, so. But there's a bed in the guest house.

[Ione Skye]

Well, It's a pool house. So it's a. It's a. Yeah, it's a. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean like a pull out bed.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. Where. Where you sleep is a bed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Right. Yeah, I guess so.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're sleeping on a.

[Ione Skye]

It's towel bed, a towel bed. Yeah. That's a pretty accurate representation of what it is because it's a dog bed with a towel on it. So yes, it's a bed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you own a dog?

[Ione Skye]

No. Are you. Listen to me, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, but why do you own a dog bed?

[Travis Skin]

Sweat out of their tongue, thank you very much.

[Ione Skye]

Much.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point.

[Ione Skye]

Anyway, to sleep on is why I own a dog bed.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you, you go to a pet store and you, you order a dog bed for you to sleep on. Why not just go to a bed store and order a real bed?

[Ione Skye]

Well, I was concerned there'd be a waterbed in there and then if there's like an earthquake or something, it would burst.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I understand.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I didn't explain that well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so your doctors come into your, your pool house, they check you out.

[Ione Skye]

Check all my parts, make sure I'm doing all good, tell me I'm doing really good, and I'm going to live forever. And then they go off to do whatever they're going to do the rest of the day. And most of the rest of the time, you know, I'm. I'm chatting with friends. Maybe I'm catching up on Tubi and maybe I'm just doing to be one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of your AI friends.

[Ione Skye]

No, Tubi's a great ad supported streaming service.

[Scott Aukerman]

We gotta talk about this. Yeah, this is the topic that I really want.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I'm down to talk about Tubi. Con Air is always on.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, and streaming services are okay even though they have stream in the title.

[Ione Skye]

Title. Well, yeah, I had to be convinced. But yes, eventually I got there. It makes sense to me. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good. So. So pretty much your entire day, are you lying down on the dog bed? Because I would imagine you don't have the energy to stand up.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I'll get up sometimes to like do my shuffles and then I'll lie back down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shuffles? Yeah, yeah, gotta do my shuffles. You shuffle around the pool house?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. Shuffle around, do two laps and then I. Then I get back in the bed and. And if I keep doing this, you have to understand, I will know what the future is. Isn't that amazing? Because I'll be there.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you want to see in the future? I Mean, Endgame already came out.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, that was a big one for me. That's what I was trying to get to. So now I'm trying to figure out what's next.

[Scott Aukerman]

Endgame, though, was 2019. Right. So that was six years ago. Yeah. You hope to get to 42?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I hope to get to 42. And I did it. I did it. So I think he could do anything. But to answer your question. Yeah. You know how, like, dinosaurs became birds? I want to see if birds become dinosaurs again. Oh, loop back around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Loop back around.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, that's my goal.

[Travis Skin]

Beautiful.

[Ione Skye]

Thank you very much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that would be. I mean, that would be cool if one day you're looking at a bird, it's flying around, then suddenly it just turns into a pterodactyl.

[Ione Skye]

It would be cool. And then the scariest fucking shit you've.

[Travis Skin]

Ever seen in your life, everything crawling back into the swamp.

[Ione Skye]

Yes. Well, not me, obviously. I wouldn't follow them.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'd be the king of the land. Then everything would be in the sea.

[Ione Skye]

Ideally, you know, I am a monarchist, and I believe even that's where we should go in that direction.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a monarchist.

[Ione Skye]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're talking about that.

[Ione Skye]

No, absolutely. But I do want to get back to Tubi. But we can talk about the monarchism if you want.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's talk about the monarchism. Okay. Yeah. You want the United States of America to be a monarchy? Yeah.

[Ione Skye]

To be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or every country, well, ideally, ruled under one.

[Ione Skye]

Ideally, that would be the same to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

One world government.

[Ione Skye]

One world government ruled by a king chosen by God. And it would be me, and that would be you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And would you be a benevolent monarch?

[Ione Skye]

I would delegate. I don't have interest in the day to day. I just want the title.

[Travis Skin]

And in the whole world, there'd be, like five monarchs. And you'd all kind of meet once.

[Ione Skye]

In a while, we chat, you know, it'd be nice, just, like, change a few things. Yeah, absolutely. You know, it'd be fun. Does that sound fun?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I mean, honestly, I don't know that I would enjoy a life where, I mean, we all want to live longer, to see our loved ones and see, you know, what happens to them. But without that and without any, like, tv, like, Better Call Saul's over, you know, Avengers Endgame came out. I'm trying to think of anything else that, like, is still up in the air at this point. You know, I guess severance for some people, even though I haven't seen it.

[Travis Skin]

White Lotus.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, White Lotus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just White Lotus.

[Ione Skye]

That's keeping me going. I do want to see the next Mission Impossible. Going back to.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point. The Final Reckoning. So.

[Ione Skye]

And it's very tense for me because they have to go down to that submarine where it left off last time. It's absolutely a nightmare. That's a horror movie for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you do when it rains?

[Ione Skye]

Stay inside. What do you mean, stay inside? I've got a roof, okay. It's as simple as stay inside. Yeah, man, you start off so good with the questions.

[Travis Skin]

I would think that's the number one best question.

[Scott Aukerman]

What happens if suddenly there's, like, a leak in the roof? You know? Or an earthquake. You didn't even want to go into a pet store because there might be a waterbed.

[Ione Skye]

My doctors say there can't be a leak in my roof. They checked it out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your doctors? I mean, they're contractors as well.

[Ione Skye]

I don't know. I gave them each an extra $100,000 to check the roof to make sure that there couldn't be a leak. And they're doctors. They, like, have. Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

They must be smart.

[Ione Skye]

They have to be smart. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, like, if you. If you can open up a human being and fix all of the guts and stuff in there, you must know how to fix a roof.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, absolutely. A roof is just like part of a. It's just like a head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ione Skye]

It's like a building head.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a building skull. Yeah. In a lot of ways. Or a helmet. A motorcycle helmet. For a. For a building.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I guess it isn't like a head. I guess then, like, the attic would be the head, and the roof would be the helmet.

[Scott Aukerman]

What would be the neck? The ladder up to the attic. Chimney, chimney, chimney.

[Ione Skye]

I think would be the neck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And then, of course, the kitchen is the heart of the home.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But then the arms, I guess, would.

[Ione Skye]

Be like, hallways or maybe, like, if you have two garages for some reason, that could be the arms.

[Travis Skin]

And then, like, the basement's the butt.

[Ione Skye]

The butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Basement's the butt.

[Ione Skye]

Basement's the butt.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the penis or the vagina?

[Travis Skin]

The bathrooms.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great, great. Then the legs are.

[Ione Skye]

I guess the legs would be the lawn.

[Scott Aukerman]

The lawn. And then the feet.

[Ione Skye]

And then. Well, there's no feet. It's a building.

[Travis Skin]

I was picturing it. I was picturing a ranch house or Craftsman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this. I mean, it sounds like a terrible existence, but you're happy. Oh, no, you're not.

[Ione Skye]

No, it's very unhappy. But at this point, the way you succeed in tech is you don't believe in sunk cost fallacy and I don't believe in it. So I'm just going to keep going down this road and eventually it's got to turn around. If I see that bird turn into a pterodactyl, it'll all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you be happy then? Would you say like, okay, I'm. I can die now happy?

[Ione Skye]

Well, no, because I want to know what the pterodactyl does next.

[Scott Aukerman]

Probably goes back into a bird in a few million years.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, that. Well, I'm gonna. I don't like the probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think it just ping pongs back and forth like that?

[Ione Skye]

Maybe I'm not the scientist. I just started horse.com?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you didn't start it. You just.

[Ione Skye]

I started it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just reserved the domain name?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. Reserve the domain name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you start an actual website?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, well, it was just for creative writing I was doing at the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

About what? Horses doing what?

[Ione Skye]

Scott. It couldn't be clearer.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're gonna have to take a break. Can you stick around? Travis skin?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, it looks like it might rain. I'm gonna be here for a while.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm surprised you're even here.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I know. I should have checked the weather before I left.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're gonna come back. We have a competitive eater. This is exciting. Do you eat things, by the way, or.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, anything that's as sand like as possible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, we have a competitive eater coming. We're going to be right back. We'll have more Travis skin, more Ione sky. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this.

[Ione Skye]

Netcredit is here to say yes to.

[Scott Aukerman]

A personal loan or line of credit.

[Ione Skye]

When other lenders say no, apply in minutes and get a decision as soon.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

As the same day.

[Ione Skye]

Loans offered by Netcredit or lending partner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Banks and serviced by Netcredit. Application subject to review and approval. Learn [e-mail] partners.

[Ione Skye]

Net Credit Credit to the people.

[Travis Skin]

Ready to set sail and save big for a limited time. Norwegian Cruise Line is making waves with up to $1,500 off all cruises.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plus with the all new more at sea cruising package.

[Travis Skin]

Enjoy unlimited open bar, specialty dining and much more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Visit ncl.com, call your TravelAdvisor or 1-888-NCL cruise offer ends soon. Norwegian Cruise Line ships registry the Bahamas.

[Travis Skin]

And USA restrictions apply.

[Ione Skye]

Every day our world gets a little.

[Scott Aukerman]

More connected, but a little further apart.

[Ione Skye]

But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.

[Travis Skin]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[Travis Skin]

Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

[Ione Skye]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's human.

[Ione Skye]

Amica, empathy is our best policy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang bang, we're back. Ione sky is here. Say everything is the book. It is out in all fine stores, I guess, bookstores. Although there'd be some stores, I would imagine, that would put it on the counter or something like that. Right. That aren't bookstores. Stores. Yeah, like a nice jewelry store.

[Travis Skin]

Maybe have it out there when you're checking out. And there's cute little.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, why not?

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. You know, I should do a pocket version of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be so cool that you could keep on a keychain and just flip through.

[Travis Skin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Reading about hooking up with Anthony Kiedis while you're in line in the grocery.

[Travis Skin]

Kids stockings.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have Travis skin here and it has started sprinkling outside.

[Ione Skye]

It is a very stressful for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

[Ione Skye]

That's okay. It's not your fault. I don't think.

[Travis Skin]

And the sprinklers are on too.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. That's wasteful.

[Travis Skin]

Hey, I think we want you to stay here.

[Ione Skye]

Really? I'm happy to stay here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to stay on theme. When it's sprinkling, I want the sprinklers on.

[Ione Skye]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's an aesthetic. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to get to our next guest. They are a competitive eater. So many questions. What do they eat? How much of it? Please welcome to the show, Dr. Scrumptious.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hello.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh, you're from London.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not from London, but it sounds as if you are.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I'm from London. I got the biggest mouth in London.

[Scott Aukerman]

The biggest mouth in what part of London are you from?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I'm from the center.

[Scott Aukerman]

The center. That's a beautiful part.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Dr. Scrumptious.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you are an actual doctor. Meanwhile, Travis skin is not.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, it's a misnomer. A doctor is a designation in the eating world world. When you get good enough, you become doctor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. So it's a title almost.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah. Like captain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. You know, our general, General, Colonel, Colonel.

[Ione Skye]

Sergeant, Sergeant, Judge Judge Judy.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Judy. Judy's a title in the States. Is it?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so. I'm not quite sure. So you, you have achieved so much in the world of competitive eating that you are a doctor?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And as Scrumptious. You're Christian name.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Scrum Cheese is my Christian name. I'm Christian through and through. Yeah, it's my name. And people thought, oh, you're going to go into competitive eating? I thought, no, that's a stereotype.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a lot like people who are named Smith. Like, oh, you're going to be a blacksmith. Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Is that true in the States?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Damn. All right, well, it's true for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Number one most popular name in the United States is Smith.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Smith.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And everyone is always like, you're going to be a black smoke.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh God, I gotta contact these people. Except I did fulfill the stereotype as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

What got you into competitive eating?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, when I was little first I was. I was always fixing things around the house. I was noticing things. There's a hole in the wall, mom. I patch it up.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a. I mean that's a nightmare for Travis Scar.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

A hole in the wall.

[Ione Skye]

Hole in the wall is how the moisture gets in.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh yeah.

[Ione Skye]

No windows in my house.

[Scott Aukerman]

No windows?

[Ione Skye]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about the pool house?

[Ione Skye]

It's dark.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems like a pool house would have like French doors that open up out to the pool often.

[Ione Skye]

They do. Mine does not.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Do you mean snooker house?

[Ione Skye]

Yes. I'm sorry. Yes. It's called snooker house where you're from? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

People play snooker in these houses. In the. Okay. Anyway. Yes.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

So I was always tinkering, trying to fix things. And then I noticed, I noticed your competitive eating contest on the table alley.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I thought so wait, I'm sorry.

[Ione Skye]

Huh?

[Scott Aukerman]

You were always fixing things.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then while you were fixing something, you noticed something on tv?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, I had fixed the tv. There was rats eating the, the cords and I fixed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

By killing the rats. The airbag.

[Scott Aukerman]

That fixes it.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Fixing the ball. If you got rats eating your cords, if you kill the rats, that's. That's a fix.

[Scott Aukerman]

It seems like the cords are still the problem though.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh yeah, the cords are a problem, but you got to make them less test tasty for the rats.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

You got to put stuff that rats don't like on there.

[Scott Aukerman]

What don't rats like? It seems like they like everything.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, I never seen rats eaten a broccoli.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, yeah, I haven't either.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's. I mean, have you. I've seen pizza rat, but I haven't seen broccoli.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting pizza rat.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's American thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I guess. What, what would we call it in?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

We, we had crumpet rat. Is that anything?

[Scott Aukerman]

Crumpet yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Crumpet rat is very, very similar. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good. So you'd put broccoli on the wires, and then you notice on the television there's a competitive eating contest coming up.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Coming up, coming up. And I go, okay, I stayed tuned.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is on the news.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I'm assuming it's on the news. It's on the news. We got a local news with a local eating contest. I stay tuned. I watch all the news. The bad stories.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, like what. What was going on at the time?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Jack the Ripper's identity being debated over.

[Ione Skye]

And that was the bad stuff.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's the bad stuff.

[Ione Skye]

Wow.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Over and over, people debating, who is he? Is it this guy? Yeah, I guess they bring a line up in, they go, is it this guy?

[Travis Skin]

Guy?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Is it? This guy voted like current people. Yeah, Texode.

[Ione Skye]

I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think they're on the wrong.

[Ione Skye]

Is this a reality show in Britain? Who is Jack the Ripper?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's just the news. Bring a live lineup.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of people who are alive currently wondering if it's. If they were Jack the Ripper back in the 1800s.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Jack the Ripper. So I get through all that. I get through all the local stories. Oh, this woman saved a cat. Oh, this man saved the dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds very boring, I gotta say. Like, if all there is to report is a competitive eating contest coming up in the future, not one happened already. And someone saving a cat. And they're still debating Jack the Ripper's.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's London.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's London. This is London local news.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

London local news. We ain't got. We ain't got ass going on there. You know what I'm saying? It's all the past or the near future. Nothing in the present. There. No one living in the past.

[Scott Aukerman]

It'd be weird to watch a new show that was just reporting on the present. Like, this is happening now, right now.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's like, go do something about it, mate. If it's happening now, stop talking to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess live, like car chases are the equivalent.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

And I think that's nuts. You make a man stand in a tornado in front of a live car chase. Get him out of there. Yeah, that's unsafe. You're American lot. You're crazy. You're trying to kill all your people.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do think so. So. So you see this on the news?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I see it. I say what I think there's a more effective way to eat all that food.

[Scott Aukerman]

The what way were they eating?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

They're just putting it in the mouth. Sometimes they're sorry Dunking it in water so it goes down smoother. I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that's for the buns. I only. Have you ever watched one of these competitive eating contests like Joey Chestnut.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Eating the hot dogs.

[Travis Skin]

And they have. They have methods.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

They got the methods, but they're all diagnosing the problem wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Ione Skye]

How?

[Scott Aukerman]

What. What did. What was your technique?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

They're trying to make food smoother. I'm trying to make all my organs bigger. Make mouth bigger, stomach bigger. You can fit more food in. Why are we trying to only. We're trying to tackle a problem from one angle. Oh, you're trying to. You're trying to kill the rats. Put the broccoli on the cords too. Attack it from all.

[Travis Skin]

So you. Can you put your fist, whole fist in your mouth?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I could put as many fists as I want in my mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like we have probably six fists. Three of us.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Hey, give it a go in. Let us in. London time, they say.

[Ione Skye]

Here we go. I'm not going to do it, obviously.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because, yeah, there's moisture, but I won.

[Travis Skin]

I've got.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Give me a two.

[Travis Skin]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three fingers in. Now four. And now five. Okay. All right.

[Travis Skin]

Impressive. Amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've made your mouth really big.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Thank you.

[Ione Skye]

You almost back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Almost swallowed our fists there.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oops. I'm not on the clock.

[Travis Skin]

Amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's crazy. How did you make your mouth so big?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, you could do various techniques, you know, some secrets of the trade Warriors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's what. That's what you're here for.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

To give us the secrets of the trade. So this is. This you call. It's like magic, right? You gotta agree not to share the code.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Do we all promise that we won't share these secrets that we hear?

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or any magic trick secrets. You know, you could throw those in as well if you.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Okay. And I'm not supposed to share those, so if I share those. You can't share those.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Okay. So firstly for the mouth, when you're asleep at night, it might not seem count. It might not seem intuitive if you take a bunch of chains with hooks.

[Scott Aukerman]

On them like Hellraisers.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah. This is instantly with Hellraiser too.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

You put them on the sides your bed. They probably got it for me. Put on the sides of your bed, stretch your mouth out at night. All right.

[Ione Skye]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because that's eight hours or so that are just lying fallow where you could be stretching your mouth out.

[Ione Skye]

Sixteen for me.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I was going to say eight hours. If you're. You're not a good Worker.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

If you. If you sleep 20 hours of the day, you could be stretching your mouth out for a long time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. So you. So you, Hellraiser style, Stretch your mouth out during.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, I like to call it Scrumptious style. And they. I like to call that film a Scrumptious Ode or kind of homage to Scrumptious.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you call Hellraiser 2 an homage to Scrumptious? Does anyone know what you're talking about?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Not one person.

[Travis Skin]

Not one.

[Scott Aukerman]

But now you're getting the word out.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I'm getting the word out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, if you ever hear an Ode.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

To Scrumptious, that's Hellraiser, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're talking about Hellraiser 2.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Absolutely.

[Ione Skye]

Wonderful.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Absolutely. Other techniques you can use. If your whole head was a little bit bigger, you don't even need to stretch your mouth out that much much. So if you stick little pins in your head, this is Hellraiser again.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I'm sorry. Oh, Descriptious.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Thank you. I hate when these guys take your stuff and they say, it's my idea. You ever have that happen?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Someone takes your thing and they go, I came up with it. That happened to you?

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, I think so.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

You think so?

[Travis Skin]

Yes. Yes. Any joke I've said, my brother would take it and say it louder. But you guys probably have had this happen to you in your lives.

[Ione Skye]

Not us.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nope. Nope.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's awful.

[Travis Skin]

You're the ones who take the joke. I'll say it louder. Okay. But I don't think anything else. So I'm. I feel for you.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yes.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you. Are you always going on and on about the fine line between pleasure and pain as well? Because this is Ode to Scrumptious stuff.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I mean, really? My God. I see. I can't make it through the whole movie because it makes me sick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever met a Cenobite? How it's pronounced?

[Ione Skye]

I desperately. I would say Xenobite. One of them has a CD in their head.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, where do you think they got the word bite from?

[Ione Skye]

I don't know. From you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Competitive eating. Wow.

[Ione Skye]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you for those sound effects.

[Travis Skin]

That's satisfying.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's mukbang. Now, those are some of the nighttime techniques you can use to stretch your head out. Stretch your mouth out. Now, what about the stomach? Huh? That's kind of.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you were gonna say, what about the daytime techniques?

[Ione Skye]

I did.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

You could be doing daytime techniques. You'll just have to be asleep on the bus and attach a bunch of cords to the bus while you Sleep. Sleeping. So some of my techniques. Firstly, you can go the surgical route. It's not my favorite to it because.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of people go the opposite way.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

They try to staple. I go waste of staples.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to unstable.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah. So you could. You could actually ask them. Can I get the reverse. Can you kind of stitch it to the sides of my. My hips, make it bigger, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever thought about installing like, several other stomachs? Like you're a cow.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I wish I were a cow. Cow. I wish I were cow.

[Ione Skye]

Direct eye contact with me. I wish this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's not cow.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

If you had cow.com, i. I'd leap over the table. I would. I did get a little bit of a surgery. It was a one surgery I permitted myself. You know, kind of in Hollywood, you go, okay, a little Botox, but then I'm done. I'm cutting myself off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

You know, I don't want to go crazy and become all. All plastic or whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Thank you for putting in terms that we can understand Hollywood stars.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah. You all stars here. Your celebrities. You can't get. You get your new noses and your faces and all that new skin.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, all my skin has been replaced. Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, everyone's has over the.

[Ione Skye]

No, that's not what I mean.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

So what I've done is I had a couple of my vertebrae removed and kind of asked my stomach back there seems oasis only up in the front part.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you took vertebrae out of your back in order to wrap your stomach more fully around.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, so I kind of got. It's in the round muscle.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's not a pronum anymore.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, no, it's not pronum stage. It's not, but you can't. So the food can kind of go in a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you again for putting into terms that Ionian I can understand.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yes, yes, yes. So it's kind of. Kind of. It's kind of a circuit, a closed circuit of food that just gets so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just. So basically. Basically a lot of people. I don't want to say normal people, but.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But people who have traditional stomachs.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Trad stomachs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Trad stomachs. They swallow food. It goes all the way down, then it just stops right there in the stomach. I mean, it eventually comes out the butthole.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

But that's after it's digested. Yours meanwhile, goes. And it just. It's in a circle. A lot like Mission Impossible. Remember Travis skin that one Mission Impossible.

[Ione Skye]

Scene already ahead of you. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. He's gonna get the thing. I hate it. I Hate it. Sure. Stuck in that water, spinning around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold his breath for. For like two minutes or something like that.

[Ione Skye]

Almost died. But guess what? He made it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that helped him complete an almost impossible mission. Yep.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's incredible. I love to know the ending of those movies before. No. Is he gonna die? If he's gonna die, I'm not gonna watch this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Crispin Glover likes to know the end of these movies before he watches them, doesn't he?

[Travis Skin]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. So the. The food just is in constant motion, so it can never settle enough to be digested. This is brilliant.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yes. And it also takes longer to come out the end. You know, like in a toilet, that water is spinning so you get a longer look. You know, it doesn't just go straight down.

[Ione Skye]

Is that why toilets do that? Yeah, so they can look longer.

[Travis Skin]

It's just for our enjoyment.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's for you. You.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, check all this out. All this stuff that just came out of you, you know, before it goes away forever.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's your last chance, mate.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

I.

[Ione Skye]

Well, I don't use the water toilets, obviously, but I remember them and I just.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you do? Do you use fire toilets? What do you do?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, fire toilets. I just light a fire in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fireplace and then you squat over.

[Ione Skye]

It's horrible. My life is bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

So how often do you go to the bathroom? It seems like you wouldn't have to because your food is not being digested.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's not being digested. It got big old stomach. So I go about once a week. You know, those are.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are good margins for me.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Good margin.

[Scott Aukerman]

If I could only do it once a week.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh, yeah. All the time I'm saving. You know, I told you I was a. A wee tinkerer trying to fix efficiencies in my house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now that's. Didn't seem to have any sort of anything to do with your story other than you happen to be fixing the television.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I'm fixing stuff. That's my thing. I'm fixing stuff. I'm fixing competitive eating right now. It's my thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meaning you're fixing people's stomachs. Why do you want to help other people do this? It seems like if they do these techniques, then they would unseat you as the winner of the. I assume you win the competitions.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh, tons, loads, couple.

[Ione Skye]

How many do you have a nemesis?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah. It's the Surgeon General. Yum, yummy.

[Ione Skye]

Surgeon General Yummy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And how. How many things do you traditionally eat? You know, like. Like what was your Last competition, how. What were you eating? How much of it did you eat?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, okay, so last competition was in the winter, so all the food seasonal. So it's soup.

[Scott Aukerman]

How. How do they judge how much soup you eat by the pint or food?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's by pinting England.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because hot dog competitions is like, oh, he ate 80 hot dogs.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, in England, it would be pint. Here would be pounds.

[Ione Skye]

Pounds of soup.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think. No, in England, it's pounds here. Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Okay, so dollars of soup.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. So it's how expensive? So you must rig the competition by just buying expensive soup.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Observations. Bis. Gogo. Bis.

[Ione Skye]

Those are rich soups, though. That. That. That can come back to bite you.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I mean, only one.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I come back to buy it.

[Ione Skye]

Okay, all right. Okay, stop.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you won the soup eating.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I won the soup eating contest. I had about $200 of soup.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of soup that. How many cups was that? Maybe.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh, cups.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like two cups, Maybe cups.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, two to. Two to two and a half cups.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meanwhile, everyone else is eating split pee and they have to eat, like, 40 cups.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. That.

[Scott Aukerman]

Smart work smarter, not harder.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh, we had poor lad eating miso.

[Travis Skin]

I want.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's what you say, miso.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, before that, we had.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

We had a poor lad eating.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you said Paul Ladd was eating miso.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Oh, Paul lad's not allowed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, he was a competitive eater.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

He was trying to be. Not allowed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Not allowed. No, no, too controversial. So we had a poor lad eating miso soup. I go, bruv, that's basically free with the meal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

If you go to a Chinese restaurant.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Why are you eating that? Crazy. He lost.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so I bet if you were in, like, a chip eating contest, the tortilla chips, which are basically free. When you go to a Mexican restaurant. That's.

[Ione Skye]

She won't know what you mean by chips. She'll think French fries.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sorry, sorry.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crisps. Crisps.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I almost died.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I don't want that to happen. Not for either.

[Ione Skye]

It won't happen for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the Surgeon General. Yummy, though.

[Ione Skye]

He.

[Scott Aukerman]

He. He or she is out there and. Or.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Okay, I see. We're progressive in the United States. That's good. That's good. Yeah.

[Ione Skye]

She.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Hello. Surgeon Generals can be.

[Travis Skin]

She.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

She's.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many times does that happen, though?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Literally, she's the first. Literally, she's the first. She has deceited, we say unthrowned.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see. Because, yeah, here we don't have a.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

You don't have A mono.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although we will someday. According to you.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, she's deated me once. It was during a summer competition, so we had a. Like a roasted pig. You know, cuz summer season, like at.

[Scott Aukerman]

A luau or something.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Like a l. Yeah. If you have to say it in, in American terms, a luau, we called a fox day lunch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fox day lunch. Yeah.

[Ione Skye]

Okay.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Hunting day lunch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that guy fox or is that girl fox? And how many times has it been, girlfriend?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, it's, it's they fox, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, okay.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

But yeah, she deceited me. She ate the most pigs. She made the most pigs.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many was that?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

She ate about 500.

[Scott Aukerman]

500 worth of pig. Wow, that's a lot of.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's a lot of pig. Yeah, that's a lot of pig. But she's done a couple extra. More surgeries. I only stopped at the one. She got her stomach, you know, taped to the sides of a stomach. Her hips and stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sort of like saddlebags. Their. Their stomachs on the outside.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Exterior stomach ectotopic.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is the thing. I don't know why competitive eaters don't like cut holes in their. In their throats.

[Ione Skye]

I think of one reason.

[Scott Aukerman]

Attach tubes to just like some. Some bags and like plastic bags that you go like, oh, no, these are my exterior stomachs.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, well, there's some people. Okay, so there was a cheater. There was a cheetah once, like on.

[Scott Aukerman]

That show Cheaters, where they would follow couples around with a camera.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's so crazy because she was both types of cheetah.

[Travis Skin]

What?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

She was both types of cheat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cheating in competitive eating.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

She cheated in competitive.

[Scott Aukerman]

I heard eating ain't cheating.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

She. She ate and she ate. Okay, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. She's. She.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

She cheated by eating somebody out and her husband got pissed. And then she cheated in an eating contest where she ate where she ate because she had. She surgically. She had long hair, believe it or not. She had a hoe in the back of her neck for all the food to come out. So people went, my God, 500 pounds, 700 pound, 900. She eaten so much. It's just $1,000, $2,000, $3,000.

[Scott Aukerman]

They look behind her and there's a big pile of food.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Big wild food.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Big part of it. It was a fall contest. So is pumpkin pie.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the one I would want to be in.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, yeah, I love pumpkin. Well, that one was controversial. She had pumpkin pie falling out of her neck.

[Ione Skye]

One of the grossest foods I can imagine. Falling out of the neck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's. This is all fascinating stuff. How. How many competitions have you won?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I've won two to three.

[Ione Skye]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a good number. All right, well, we're running out of time. Unfortunately. We only have time for one final feature on the show and that happens to be a little something called plug.

[Ione Skye]

Excuse me if I'm a little slow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not though.

[Travis Skin]

You're never slow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You talk so fast. Good morning. All right. Oh, there we go. That was System of a Plug by Tim Summers. Thanks so much to Tim. If you have a plug theme, send it over to cbb world.com over. Sorry, cbb world.com plugs and you can upload your songs there and you can be famous for a week. And Tim Summers, you're famous this week and this week only. Your reign of terror and ends Sunday night at midnight. What are we plugging here? Ione obviously say everything is out in stores this week. Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

And I just did. I just played Jack Black's wife in Anaconda with Paul Rudd, your one time guest. And Steve Zaner's on.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe Jack is in the. I think he might be in the two Timers Club.

[Travis Skin]

Oh, nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet this is comedy Bang Bang royalty on.

[Travis Skin]

I know it's all your peeps in this one movie that I did in the Gold coast in Australia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now my Anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns on. Is that similar to.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, it's like a meta. It's that director, Tom. What was the movie with Nicolas Cage where he plays himself? So it's that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the unbearable weight of awesome talent.

[Travis Skin]

Yes. So he's that great director.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this is a remake of the J. Lo. Speaking of Bonson. Yeah. Film along with Ice Cube and everyone. Do any of them. Can. Can any of them do cameos? Are you allowed to say anything about this film?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah, yeah.

[Travis Skin]

I mean, mean, it's like it's sort of a meta version of their remake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Metatextual.

[Travis Skin]

Yes. Yeah, it's like one of them comedy adventure type films.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Travis Skin]

This out. It's coming out. I should know. I mean they're still filming it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you play.

[Travis Skin]

I play Jack Black's wife and we had to kiss, but he cut his beard so I can find his lips.

[Scott Aukerman]

So when he doesn't cut his beard, it's like you're. You end up kissing his ear or something going on. I think it's in here somewhere.

[Travis Skin]

Know. And then I have a podcast weirder together that I never plug and so I should with my Husband.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Weirder.

[Travis Skin]

Together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Together. How long have you been doing it?

[Travis Skin]

Maybe four years or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Four years. So approximately 200 episodes, maybe.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what is the. What. What do you cover on the. On the show?

[Travis Skin]

Well, it's sort of morphed into. I was trying to make it, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Morphing technology used in T2. Judgment Day.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. Yes. We're just. It's sort of more. I don't know, it's like, you know, our marriage, and we talk about, you know, the hot topics. Gossip.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you want to hear about Ione's marriage or gossip regarding your marriage or other people's marriages.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, we just gossip about each other. We don't fight. We just gossip.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever fought on air?

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, a little bit. And I like to ask him a musical question because I love the musicians and I love asking, you know, just like, a question of, like, you know, what. What do you think about the fans? Are Led Zeppelin fans? Like, are Led Zeppelin corny or is it the fans are nerds? Like, things like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Things like that? Yeah, the. The hot topics about bands that had broken up approximately 50 years ago.

[Travis Skin]

Topical. It's all topical. And that's it. Those. And my book and that movie and that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Th. Those are the. I mean, this is the year of Ione.

[Travis Skin]

I know. I might have podcasts, movies, a book. Look, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is incredible.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you ever. You ever think back when you were going to Red Hot Chili Peppers and Mary's Dana shows back in 1987 that. That you'd ever be in a movie called Anaconda?

[Travis Skin]

No, I never did, but I was. I'm alphabetically.

[Scott Aukerman]

This has got to be your first film, am I correct?

[Travis Skin]

Yeah. No. I did one called A Night and in the Life of Jimmy Reardon.

[Scott Aukerman]

A Night in the Life, which is.

[Travis Skin]

That was the one with River.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although you. You possibly could al that by saying night in the Life of Jimmy Reardon, comma a.

[Travis Skin]

That's right. And everyone only called it Jimmy Reardon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

And maybe some. I've done so many funny, like, Lifetime movies, I have no idea. A Perfect Mother, that. With Tyne. Perfect Mother with Tyne Daly. That was a Lifetime movie in Canada, and I'm. You know, those ones from the 90s.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was Tyne Daly your mother in this? Or was.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, she was like, a mobster who had me killed.

[Ione Skye]

That doesn't sound perfect at all.

[Travis Skin]

I know. I. Was she the perfect mother or. I got a retitle.

[Ione Skye]

I'm gonna send some emails.

[Scott Aukerman]

An Imperfect mother, maybe That I would watch still come before Anaconda, though, alphabetically, so. Well, this is wonderful. Everyone should go out there and buy. Say everything this week. Let's turn over to Travis Skinn. What do you want to plug?

[Ione Skye]

Oh, I. You know, I guess I. First I'll just. Plug. Stop drinking water, everybody, so you can be my subjects in the future.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so I. I thought you maybe wanted friends. You just want subjects. What do you care if your subjects live forever?

[Ione Skye]

Well, I just want some. You know, I want someone to go like, did you see that pterodactyl turn into a bird? And then. I don't. I'm not committed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Even if people start drinking water and die, I don't think the whole human race is going to die by water. Unless there's a huge meteorite that hits us and tidal waves kill us all.

[Ione Skye]

You've been listening to a word I'm saying.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I guess not.

[Ione Skye]

Not goddamn words.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, I apologize. You. You're all over the place here. You think I'm a good host? You think I'm a terrible host.

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, you taught me a lesson. I thought you were a good host, and then I. Then I started listening.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, all right. Anything else to plug or that?

[Ione Skye]

Oh, God, you know what? If it's not raining, I'm gonna go to a comedy show at the Upper Citizen Brigade Theater called Convoy. Yeah, come, come check that out. Where? Every month at UCB.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Now, Dr. Scrumptious, what do you want to plug here?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Well, I love to plug my freaking butt so I don't get waste any of this food I'm meeting so I can win these contests.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you want to win the contest by plugging up your butthole. And it's remained. I would think that you'd want to have all the food out of your body in order to win these contests.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Scott, you're a tinkerer, too. That's an efficiency plus one for you.

[Ione Skye]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anything else to plug?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Other than your butthole?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Yeah. There's this comedian named Rekha Shankar who's doing a Kickstarter for a feature film that's going to be up and ready for backers, and I think it looks great. And it's actually about food. My favorite subject.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I know Reika, and she was in the Between Two Ferns movie that I did.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

She's obsessed with movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it with her in movies? Yeah, that movie. This one.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Two. Hey, that's how many contests I've won.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said two or three.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

The third one. They're still in litigation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, where can people go to this Kickstarter?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

It's on Kickstarter.com search Vidya's guide to the afterlife. Or I can literally recite a link right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about just Reika? Would that. Would that.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

Honestly, she looked it up. She is the only person named Reika on all of Kickstarter.

[Scott Aukerman]

R E K H a.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

There are 650,000 projects on that website, and there is only one person named Reika making something on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that racist of Kickstarter? What do you think?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do I want to plug? I obviously go over to cbbworld.com, you have the entire archives of Comedy Bang Bang. Every episode we've ever done, as well as all of our live episodes. I think we did 43 last year. I am gonna be at south by Southwest, Lauren Lapicus and I doing a live Comedy Bang Bang this Saturday, I believe. So if you're at south by Southwest, come out and see us. Also, the action figures that have come out, we have the new Randy and Carissa action figure. They're on sale now. They are shipping, and they're available for customers [e-mail] with free shipping with a US address or in Europe with cheaper import fees. @action figureseller.com we have the Randy and Carissa as well as Sprague and Big sue and tour exclusives of myself and JW Stillwater still out there. And I think that's all I want to plug. So let's close up the old, old plug back. It's time to. It's time to it's time to it's time to oh, no it's time to it's time to oh, no it's time to.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, there we go. Go. Not bad. All right, that was. It's Time to Release by Eddie Wolfram. Thanks so much, Eddie Wolfram. A lot of farting noises in these songs today, but I want to thank my guest, Ione Sky. So wonderful to have you on the show. Continued success as an author. I would love to see more books coming out of you. Maybe not like. Like a detective trying to solve the Jack the Ripper movies. That would tie into your interest, Dr. Scrunch.

[Travis Skin]

That would be great.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

That's. That's the British local news. You're taking away their beat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. So maybe. Maybe, yeah, Maybe you don't want to do that.

[Travis Skin]

I don't know. Maybe I can't. I was born in London. Maybe they'll let me, but I don't Think so. What about a St. John's Wood?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know it. Oh, same. Oh, right there in the center.

[Travis Skin]

The center?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah.

[Travis Skin]

Yeah, the center.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, thank you to you, Dr. Scrumptious. Wonderful to have you here. And then, Travis. Skin looks like the rain has gotten heavier since we've started doing the show.

[Ione Skye]

Well, I'll just hang out here.

[Travis Skin]

You better start complimenting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, you've. To be honest, you've been kind of an asshole to me.

[Travis Skin]

I might not want you here.

[Ione Skye]

Okay. Yeah. I like your jacket.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not a compliment to me. Unless you're complimenting my sense of style.

[Ione Skye]

Did you buy that jacket for yourself?

[Scott Aukerman]

Did someone else bought it?

[Dr. Scrumptious]

I would say it's the best jumper I've ever seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, you can stay here. You need to get out immediately.

[Ione Skye]

I don't want to die.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, I'm. No, I'm sorry. You got to leave now.

[Ione Skye]

Fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fine, fine.

[Ione Skye]

This is on you, Scott Aukerman.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right? You're leaving right now?

[Ione Skye]

Yeah, I'm leaving right now. I'm gonna walk out there into the rain where my body will begin to rot, and you'll watch me. And like at the end of Last Crusade, I'm just going to age rapidly and die like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rapidly. You think you'll die?

[Ione Skye]

Maybe that's what the doctors say. They say if I stop paying them and I get wet, then that will happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

I kind of want to see this. Do you guys want to see this?

[Travis Skin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm very curious.

[Ione Skye]

Dr. Scrumptious. Ione it is lovely meeting you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about me?

[Ione Skye]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. He's making his way over to the door. He's outside.

[Dr. Scrumptious]

He's turning into a pterodactyl.

[Ione Skye]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. It wasn't the birds that were gonna turn into pterodactyls. It was you.

[Ione Skye]

Fuck you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? Wow. What an end of the show. All right, we'll see you next week. Thanks. Bye.

[Travis Skin]

Ready to set sail and save big For a limited time, Norwegian Cruise Line is making waves with up to $1,500 off all cruises.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plus with the all new More at Sea Cruising package. Enjoy unlimited open bar, specialty dining and much more. Visit ncl.com call your travel advisor or 1-888-NCL cruise offer ends soon Norwegian Cruise Line ships registry the Bahamas and USA.

[Travis Skin]

Restrictions apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

At Ameca Insurance.

[Ione Skye]

We know it's more than just a car. It's the two door coupe that was.

[Scott Aukerman]

There for your first drive.

[Ione Skye]

The hatchback that took you cross country and back. And the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Ameca Auto Insurance Ameca Empathy is our best policy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Back pain and stiffness made mornings rough.

[Travis Skin]

Pain made it tough to sleep until.

[Scott Aukerman]

I started Cosentyx Cosentic Secukinumab is the number one prescribed treatment for adults that targets IL17A, a molecule that may play a role in inflammation that contributes to ankylosing spondyloarthritis or non radiographic axial spondyloarthritis, two types of inflammatory arthritis of the spine. Don't use if you're allergic to before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur like tuberculosis or other serious bacterial, fungal or viral infections. Some were fatal. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms like fevers, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough had a vaccine or planned to, or if inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen serious allergic reactions and severe eczema like skin reactions may occur. Learn more at 1-844-cosentix or cosentyx.com Ask your doctor about Cosentyx.

[Travis Skin]

I got real relief with Cosentyx.