
This week, John Hodgman joins Scott to discuss being the "Radar" O'Reilly of the PC world, boldly asking for drugs, and owning a boat. Then, James Cameron and Jake Sully visit to promote "Avatar: Fire and Ash" as well as wet movies in general, and entrepreneur Kitty Sea-Joy Sage drops by to share some products.
Loading summary
Scott Aukerman
When something happens to your kitchen, you.
James Cameron
Might say, this is ludicrous.
Scott Aukerman
But that won't fix your home. That will only get you the wrapper. Ludicrous.
John Hodgman
Having trouble? Don't panic. Don't be alarmed. You need to file a claim. Holla at State Farm. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
Scott Aukerman
That's right. You can file a claim on the app or call us.
Jake Sully
Thanks, Mr. Criss.
Scott Aukerman
No matter how ludicrous the situation, Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
John Hodgman
State Farm, Bloomington, Illinois. Lowes knows that your business is built on speed and trust. That's why the Lowes pro desk is here to get you what you need the moment you need it. We'll help you plan your project, calculate your materials, and pivot when your job takes an unexpected turn. And with our pro only checkout and dedicated pro parking, you have what you need to tackle your job and be back on the job in no time. Just visit us at the Pro desktop Lowe's Nose Pros. We help you save.
Jake Sully
Am all in on crypto. Cryptocorpses. I dress up as my family, that is. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Uh huh. Thank you to side of mcg Catchphrase superstar. Side of MCG for that submission. Don't think it's gonna stick, but thank you so much. Side of mcg. We'll we love everything you do. Catchphrase related. I have no idea what you do in your spare time other than this. I hope you're not getting paid for this. I. I know I'm certainly not paying you for these, but maybe I should throw a little something his way. A little walking around money, little lettuce for his tomato. Anyway, welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We have a great episode coming up a little later. We have a couple of deep sea adventurers. We also have an entrepreneur. Yes, entrepreneurs are back on Comedy Bang Bang. We stopped having them on for a little while because everyone wanted to be an entrepreneur. And then the contraction of not only show business, but I think the America's economy has now meant that entrepreneurs are few and far between. But we have one back on Comedy Bang Bang. For a while we only had small business owners. And then we've now widened out to have entrepreneurs. And our first guest is akin to an entrepreneur in the sense of he probably has a loan out corporation.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, you're so right.
Jake Sully
What is that? May I ask what yours is called?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Is that my loan out corporation?
Jake Sully
This is that giving away anything?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Certainly very relatable. It is. That is all incorporated. That is all that Is all incorporated.
Jake Sully
Is that something you say a lot? And I'll introduce you in a second.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It is how I used to end every sentence. That is all. Well, that's. That's a trip back through time for me is that it's been a while.
Jake Sully
Since a telegram where they had to say stop at the end of every sentence.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That is how Radar O'Reilly ended all of his broadcasts on the television show MASH. That is all.
Jake Sully
The Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, of course, is what we're talking about for those of you who weren't around when that show was on the air.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's the one. That is all.
Jake Sully
And did you feel a kinship. And I will certainly introduce you in a moment.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You don't have to.
Jake Sully
With the character Radar O'Reilly or perhaps the actor Gary Bergoff, talking about Gary.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Bergoff, who played Charlie Brown in the original Off Broadway production of your A.
Jake Sully
Good Man Charlie Brown, of course. Yes.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah. No, Radar R. Oh, I see.
Jake Sully
So that. That is the character that you like.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
No, I liked them. I liked them both. You are. I am akin. You mentioned a kinship. I am definitely akin to round faced, bespectacled nerds of all types.
Jake Sully
That's right. Our guest, of course, when he describes himself thusly. We know who it is. But let me fill you in on a little bit of background. He, of course, played the. Were you. It's so hard to tell these days. Were you the cool computer or were you the stuffy old PC?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I was the Radar O'Reilly, which is the PC of the PC world.
Jake Sully
Okay, I guess that makes sense. But now.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And a series of Apple computers that came out before you were born.
Jake Sully
Commercials. Yes. You. You were commercials. You, you. You were with Justin Long in that. And you guys are equally as cool. So I can't tell who was supposed to be cool, but he was slightly younger at the time.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And now I believe you stop talking strangely. So I believe he has caught up to me.
Jake Sully
We also know him from the Judge Sean Hoffman podcast. Please welcome John Hodgman.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That is all.
Jake Sully
Hello. That is all. Welcome. How are you?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You know Justin Long was in that movie Barbarian.
Jake Sully
He was. Great movie.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, yeah. And I was originally cast as the monster, although I do know who, but I was allergic. I was allergic to the latex makeup.
Jake Sully
Me. Interesting.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That is interesting.
Jake Sully
I do know the person cast.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I mean, I don't know when.
Jake Sully
Jesus Christ. Well, the thing is, you know already.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
The thing is, I don't know when you've stopped talking because you don't say that at all.
Jake Sully
All right, all right. But. But you said that is all to indicate that you would stop talking. And then I started. The question isn't when I stop, it's when I start. Do you want me to say this is that is all when I start. Oh, my God. Now he's not talking at all.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm just waiting for you to finish.
Jake Sully
That is all.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Great. You should. You should not say it at all, actually, because it's awkward and it's my ip. So that is all.
Jake Sully
Okay. Thank you. I was waiting to jump in there. I do know the person cast as the monster used to. To do comedy in sketch groups back in the day.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Is that so?
Jake Sully
That is so. Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I didn't. I didn't know I. I was. As you know, I am offer only.
Jake Sully
Are you yawning in the middle of your answer or constantly?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm so happy for that person. I was allergic to the makeup, much like Buddy Ebsen was allergic to the Tin Man. That's right up in the wizard of Oz.
Jake Sully
That's right. And so.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And there weren't. There weren't enough stimulants to give him that he would feel better about it. So they had to recast.
Jake Sully
That was how it worked in the old days, wasn't it? Do you wish our show business was still like that? Whatever part you got, they figured out a drug cocktail to give you to make you give a good performance.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
When I was shooting the. The. The ads in which I played the PC and Justin Long played the Macintosh computer and the Macintosh Apple Computer ads, I mused aloud one time whether anyone on set had any drugs they could give me. Because it was my first experience with Hollywood. I had done nothing. I had done zero acting before them.
Jake Sully
How did you even get these? Were you some sort of a rock on tour doing live shows or you were the written word, perhaps?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I had just started doing comedy on the Daily show with Jon Stewart A thousand years.
Jake Sully
So that's really your first foray into show business?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yes, but that was. I was seated at a desk.
Jake Sully
This is the first time. Oh, this is your first standing room?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
My first I'd ever stood on camera.
Jake Sully
Still, even though you started doing stand up? Isn't that interesting?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Never did stand up until I was standing up on camera. Before that, I was a seated raconter, honestly. And most New York comedy nights, I would sit down and normally I wouldn't.
Jake Sully
Ask this much info about someone's background. But you brought nothing to plug.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Why not? It's an interview.
Jake Sully
So how did you get that job at The Daily Show.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
So I had written a book. I am a. I am primarily a written humorist.
Jake Sully
Of course. I remember your book Vacationland. Yeah, that's in stores now.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
The second to the most recent one, Vacation Land and medallion Status, both available in paperback now.
Jake Sully
I've read them both.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Thank you very much.
Jake Sully
Yes.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But I started writing three books of absurd humor. The areas of my expertise, more information than you require, and a third book called that Is All. That is All. And, well, I continue, actually, so it's not all.
Jake Sully
Okay, good. I almost jumped in there.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But I wrote this first book of absurd humor or the areas of my expertise, and I went on a Daily show as a guest and we had a good time making funny jokes together, I suppose. And.
Jake Sully
And this is Jon Stewart at the time.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Jon Stewart at the time, that's right.
Jake Sully
And what is it now? Oh, okay, interesting. And so you guys had such a good time that you got a semi regular gig?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
They invited me to come back and, well, they, they said, would you like to try to be back on the show? And I said, sure, I can be the resident expert on the show. Like the, The. The tweety intellectual that they bring in to explain complex things.
Jake Sully
Things. Yeah, that's always better. Just substitute whatever you want to say.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Is what I was looking for. That was all. And I came in and as the resident expert, and they were like, would you like, can you do 750 words on nuclear proliferation in Iran by Monday? And I'm like, of course. And I did. And they said, bring a suit. We might put you on television. And they did. And then very soon after that, they. I was asked to audition for those ads, and I did.
Jake Sully
And you auditioned for these ads.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I did audition for the.
Jake Sully
Who else was in the mix? Do you remember this?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Everyone.
Jake Sully
Really? Like everyone who was in New York comedy at the time.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yes.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I mean, that's what I've heard since then.
Jake Sully
And you're victorious.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, I mean, but look, everything comes around. I thought I got that monster role in Barbarian.
Jake Sully
Yeah, that's true.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But I got dinged.
Jake Sully
Very similar to Nick Offerman's stories about how he was. Was in the. What was that show he did? Parks and Rec.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Parks and Recreation.
Jake Sully
And then they were still. Even though he got it, I think they still had auditions or something like that. And everyone. Or maybe everyone was talking about, like they had auditioned. That's right. In a green room once. And he knew we got it and didn't feel like.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And didn't want to say anything.
Jake Sully
Didn't want to Say anything. Yeah, very interesting.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But I had asked on the set, literally on the set of the Appalachian. Like, does anyone like, this is Hollywood. Right.
Jake Sully
By the way, I have to say, very interesting. After I say something that is dreadfully boring, just to spice things up and it's almost like hypnosis for the list power of suggestions.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
People are going to be going around. You know, it's very interesting. Scott Offerman and his incredible anecdotes about Nick Offerman's career. Very interesting.
Jake Sully
He doesn't have a podcast talking about this. I have to.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Hang on a second. Where do I find the share button on this podcast so I can send it to all my friends? I just heard a very interesting anecdote from a very interesting man. Are you a share fan?
Jake Sully
By the way, speaking of Cher, I love to share. I'm. I'm talking about the singer, of course.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Silkwood. I love Silkwood.
Jake Sully
Silk. You love Silkwood? I. Okay. It's a fine film by all accounts.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yes.
Jake Sully
But for someone to be like, I.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Love Silkwood, well, you have to realize that I was, I, I think 10 or 11 years old when Silkwood came out. So it was marketed directly at me.
Jake Sully
Sure, of course.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And Moonstruck, I saw Moonstruck amazing in Moonstruck Outdoors at the Hat Shell in the, on the, in Boston. The Hat Shell, the amphitheater by the Charles river, say.
Jake Sully
Very interesting.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's very interesting that.
Jake Sully
It certainly is a fun story.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But then I asked for drugs on the set of the Apple ads and no one had any for me.
Jake Sully
And this was a semi serious.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I passed it off as a joke, but my hope was that someone would hand me a bag of drugs and then I would tell that story on the road when I would transition to my own imitation of stand up comedy and tell stories while standing up in various theaters around the country. And I was in Raleigh, North Carolina, at the Carolina Theater. It's a great and very interesting theater. And this story you'll find very interesting, Scott. I know you will, because I'm telling the story about how I got. I didn't. Couldn't get any drugs. And I would say at every stop, along with where I'm like, so if anyone has any drugs now, they should hand them to me. And no one wants to give me drugs because I look like a narc. Like, I'm just, I'm narc.
Jake Sully
Also, it's their drugs.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Like they bought them. But I'm supposed to be in show business. I never expected to be in show business or in Hollywood.
Jake Sully
You thought when you got into show business, people are just passing you free drugs.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
People handing me drugs.
Jake Sully
Drugs are expensive. Give.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I know, but isn't that what happened? Used to happen they would give. So I was like, someone give me drugs, please. And it got very. It got very bold. By the end of the tour, I was just like, I'm not joking, Please, in the signing line, someone give me drugs. And so at the end of this one, this tour, to the end of the tour, and I went out to the lobby and before I hit the signing line, a woman and her boyfriend take me inside and goes, I have something for you.
Jake Sully
I'm like, great.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
She's like, this is just a little something for the rest of your tour. I think you might want this on the road, if you will.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And John's winking and handed me. I did my best anyway.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Not a. Not a natural.
Jake Sully
It was more of a blink, to be honest.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Let me give it a try.
Jake Sully
Yeah, that's two eyes. Is a blink.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Okay. I was trying to wink though, right?
Jake Sully
I know. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, you got no. Okay, well, one. Yeah, that one stayed.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
All right, I'll focus on my. Right.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
In any case, very interesting anecdote. She hands me this really skanky looking envelope.
Jake Sully
What makes an envelope skanky looking?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, it's like a letter envelope, right. But it's been wrapped around something that's not a letter, so there's a little package of something inside.
Jake Sully
Got it, got it.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And then it's been folded over kind of nervously as we want envelopes to.
Jake Sully
Be fresh and pristine and to be flat as Stanley.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Actually, you know what? That's very true about me. I feel a little unnerved.
Jake Sully
Anytime when you see a folded up envelope, the trouble of brewing.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's why I can't watch Below Deck anymore because they're always handing over their tips and those envelopes.
Jake Sully
Are you interested in Below Deck?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I am. I'm a Below Deck.
Jake Sully
Okay. Jack Quaid and I are going to start a Below Deck podcast.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I would love to be on it.
Jake Sully
You want to be?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm sorry, that was an invitation. I apologize.
Jake Sully
I'll take it back.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I hope you have a good time with it. Sounds like it'll be very interesting. That is all.
Jake Sully
Well, you.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh. So she hands me this envelope. If I may, because this is a very interesting anecdote.
Jake Sully
You may, you may.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And I'm.
Jake Sully
Is it wrapping up at any time soon?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yes, here it is. I'm so excited.
Jake Sully
Big finish.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm afraid I'll be arrested in the lobby. So I shove it in my pocket and then I get out of the thing and I go meet my friends and yours, Phil Morrison and David Reese, who are having dinner somewhere. And I'm like, that finally happened. Someone gave me drugs. And I open it up, it's lens wipes for my glasses. A hundred of them.
Jake Sully
What?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It was a mean joke.
Jake Sully
How? Oh, so it was an intentional joke.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I don't know why. I don't know what her intention was. I mean, they were very useful. I did use them to clean my glasses for sure.
Jake Sully
So actually it came in handy.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It did come in handy. And also I huffed them for a.
Plinko
While and I got a very 100 of them.
Jake Sully
Will give you something.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah. If you put them all together and then. And then put them in a paper bag, you get a little something. So. Have you ever done drugs since I have done. I have. I. Well, first, I've been doing drugs all my life. I'm a lifelong asthmatic.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I have a. I have a variety of exotic inhalers. I'm always on something. I'm always on something.
Jake Sully
You have an inhaler that has a picture of a woman in a bikini. And then when you turn it upside down to breathe in, the bikini goes away.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, well, that's something I modded. I modded my inhaler custom that way. But yeah, if I mention my inhaler, maybe they'll give me free ones. Breast tree aerosphere.
Jake Sully
Breastree aerosphere.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It's officially for chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. But I know a guy. This is now I'm a big time Hollywood guy.
Jake Sully
Wow.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Even though it's not for asthma.
Jake Sully
So you are technically getting some drugs.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I am.
Jake Sully
That's wonderful.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
They call me Johnny Illicit. That is all.
Jake Sully
So the anecdote is officially wrapped up.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That is all. I said it.
Jake Sully
Okay, wonderful.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm done now.
Jake Sully
This is why when you begged me to be on the show. Unsolicited.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's right.
Jake Sully
I said, I gotta have him on. He tells the best stories in the biz. And here you are begging me to be on another show.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
They're never as very interesting as yours. Thank you.
Jake Sully
What else is in the news?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I do not know. And I don't choose to know.
Jake Sully
Are you staying away from the news? I've decided for the next four years that I don't want to hear a certain person's voice. And so I am actively avoiding it. And it's sort of like, you know, the Wamageddon, where you. You avoid hearing last Christmas I gave you my heart, you know?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Right, right, right.
Jake Sully
I'm. I'm actively avoiding it and it's hard, man. You gotta be. You gotta have always have the remote control.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You have to have discipline.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I discovered over the course of eight years that reading the news and getting outraged and upset did not change the outcome of the news in any way.
Jake Sully
Right. Well, eventually Obama, you know, gave it over to the next person.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
So you were finally, thanks, Obama, for finally getting out of here. That is all.
Jake Sully
We kid. We kid. Of course, we don't talk about who we voted for on this show. We keep that close to we.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Save that for your below deck podcast.
Jake Sully
That's right. Yeah. Everything is out in the open.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
All right, it's voting time.
Jake Sully
What do you think about that? When they split up the tips and it's always like they say, all right, this trip we made 20,000. And everyone goes. And then the next trip they go, this trip we made 21,000. And they all go, yeah. And they're disappointed over basically splitting up between eight of them. $1,000.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yachties are a mercurial lot. You're moody.
Jake Sully
You own a boat.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I do own a boat.
Jake Sully
As discussed in your book Vacation.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Anyone out there who was wondering if I was Caucasian? Now you know, I do own a boat, and it is. It is sometimes moored in the state of Maine.
Jake Sully
That's right. And how often are you getting out on that boat?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, when we are in the state of Maine, almost every day we will go out and row around. Yeah.
Jake Sully
And how often.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
What else is there to do?
Jake Sully
How often there?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Sometimes I go candle pin bowling, but that's another story.
Jake Sully
How often there do you drain your main vein?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Almost every day we row out to the middle of the harbor so that I might drain my main vein.
Jake Sully
Well, Vacation Land and of course, Medallion status status are both in stores now. Anywhere Fine. Books are sold.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Anywhere books are sold, borrowed or stolen.
Jake Sully
That's right. Are they in libraries?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Unfortunately.
Jake Sully
Really?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
They're stealing from me?
Jake Sully
Of course.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, yeah, yeah, you can get the audiobook of all of my books on Libby, which is the public library audiobook. And you can also get ebook.
Jake Sully
Interesting.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Through Libby.
Jake Sully
Very interesting.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm not plugging Libby, but this is a very interesting story. That's why I'm talking about it.
Jake Sully
Well, those are both great books. It's been a minute since you've written one, though, because it feels like maybe. Let me guess. When Medallion Status came out.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
All right, let's guess. Wrong.
Jake Sully
Wrong.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Incorrect.
Jake Sully
19. I'm guessing the year John Excuse me. What did you think? Think I was guessing the specific day.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I thought you were guessing 2020, which would be. I thought you were going with the last two. Remember how we used to refer to years by the last two years that.
Jake Sully
All changed in the year 2000. Now we had to start like people aren't going around going 0102.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But we did stop saying the year 2000 and blank.
Jake Sully
That's right.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Which was a real thing until the middle of the last decade or so.
Jake Sully
So now we're saving time. Just saying 20. Whatever.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
The year 2019 was the publication year. That's what I was gonna guess.
Jake Sully
And you just gave it away.
Scott Aukerman
I would have been right.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I didn't want to give you the prize. No one's ever guessed correctly. And the competition continues. Everyone.
Jake Sully
What is it about writing a book? Because Vacationland and medallion status came pretty close after one another. Vacationland feels like 2017 maybe.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Absolutely right. Unfortunately, we don't have a prize for that book.
Jake Sully
And then of course, as established 2019 for medallion status, then six years goes by. No books from Johnny Hodge.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's absolutely right.
Jake Sully
What has happened?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, David Reese and I made two. Two seasons of a cartoon for Hulu called Dicktown, which are still on Hulu. And we'll see how long. See how much hard drive space they have. I think it's too late to get a tax write off, so they might leave it up there for a little while. And that took up some time. But yeah, no, I'd like to write another book. I just. You know, what I need is an idea.
Jake Sully
Well, it's not like anything's happened over the past six years since you wrote the last one.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Much of the things that have happened over the past six years, I don't want to think about them. I don't want to spend time alone with my thoughts so much as I used to. Perh.
Jake Sully
I understand.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, but if I have an idea and, and, and maybe let's talking to some of your guests.
Jake Sully
Let's throw out some ideas. Right? I'll get right here before we go to break. Let's just throw out ideas.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Go for it, please.
Jake Sully
Okay. A robot who is.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's it.
Jake Sully
No more just a robot.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
No. Okay, go ahead. I'd like to see where you're going with this.
Jake Sully
Okay. A robot who thinks that he or she or. Or they have achieved sentience.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Right. Thinks they have.
Jake Sully
Realizes that they haven't.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Right. And start doing a podcast with Jack Quaid of all people.
Jake Sully
Okay, I like where you're going with.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
This isn't that interesting. And it's about below deck.
Jake Sully
This would be a weird. Below decks.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Below deck, period.
Jake Sully
I gotta look this up.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Go ahead.
Jake Sully
Hold on.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I dare you.
Jake Sully
It's below decks, isn't it?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It is not.
Plinko
You're right.
Jake Sully
It's below deck.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I knew I would be right.
Jake Sully
The singular deck.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Although there are many below deck franchises.
Jake Sully
Mediterranean.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Mediterranean. Old school.
Jake Sully
Australia.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Down under.
Jake Sully
They call it down under. Can you do an Australian accent?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Absolutely not.
Jake Sully
Well, of course John Hodgman is here. He has the Judge.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Sean, when are you going to realize that you're not sentient?
Jake Sully
I don't know. It's going to happen in some way. I mean, we're. We just broke off another Honda. We're a 900 episode. This is our thousandth hundo. Wow. And it's gonna happen at some point. How many episodes of your show have you done?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
The Judge Sean Hodgman podcast?
Jake Sully
You mean Sean Hoffman.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Sean Sean Hodgman.
Jake Sully
John Sean Hodgeman.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Look, I'm the first to acknowledge it's a terrible name for a podcast. It's impossible to say. And we. And, and, and so it is almost hilarious to know that we've done almost 700. 700, 700.
Jake Sully
Wow. That's an achievement. Congratulations.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Not very interesting. Interesting.
Jake Sully
Yeah, I. As far as I'm concerned, it's the most interesting topic.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But it comes out every Wednesday on.
Jake Sully
MaximumFun.org how many episodes of the Simpsons are there?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
About 700.
Jake Sully
How many.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Here we go.
Jake Sully
Episodes of the first. It gives me below death.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It's actually not the Simpsons, it's the Simpson.
Jake Sully
Oh, interesting. 781.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
781 episodes. You'll get there. Yeah.
Jake Sully
They only do 20 a year. If that.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
If you know what, I remember one.
Jake Sully
Season they put out one. They were like, that's all we got.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Maybe they'll give me the chance that I gave Justin Long to catch up. Stop for a while and they'll catch up.
Jake Sully
Well, the Judge Sean Hoffman podcast is out there and people can get it. We need.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Co created by Jesse Thorp. That's right. And available@maximumfund.org that's right.
Jake Sully
We need to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have some deep sea adventurers. We're going to have an entrepreneur. This is a packed show.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Maybe I'll get an idea for a book.
Jake Sully
That's right. Yeah. We should ask each of our guests if they have an idea for you.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, I mean, it's your podcast. You can decide.
Jake Sully
I decided it. I said I wanted to do it.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, that's. That is all, then.
Jake Sully
Okay, that is all.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Shall you take us out?
Jake Sully
Please take us to commercial. Here we are.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
All right, we're going to a commercial now. And that, as we always say, is all, mate.
James Cameron
Please leave a message.
Jake Sully
Hey, it's me.
James Cameron
Well, it's you, San Diego.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You that is.
Scott Aukerman
Ugh.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm here at the beach.
Jake Sully
Sun's out. Everything's looking up.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, my gosh, the food we love, the spice.
Jake Sully
Oh, and.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, that show is so fun.
James Cameron
Sand in my shoes and all. Anyway, wish you, I me, we hope.
Jake Sully
To see you soon discover the best you@sandiego.org funded in part by San Diego Tourism Marketing District assessment funds.
James Cameron
Ready to optimize your nutrition this year? Meet Factor America's number one ready to eat meal service. Factor's fresh Never frozen meals.
Jake Sully
Our dietitian approved and ready to eat in just two minutes. Their chefs handle the shopping and chopping, delivering fresh, fully cooked meals to your door. All you have to do is heat and Enjoy. Choose from 40 weekly options across eight.
James Cameron
Dietary preferences like Calorie Smart, Protein plus, and Keto.
Jake Sully
And if you're looking to lose weight, Factor's keto meals can help you lose.
James Cameron
Up to £8 in eight weeks.
Jake Sully
Savor Nutritious premium meals no matter how busy life gets. Eat smart with Factor.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Get started@factormeals.com Factor 50 off and use.
Jake Sully
Code Factor50OFF to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Weight loss with factor Keto based on.
James Cameron
Randomized controlled clinical trial.
Jake Sully
Results will vary depending on diet and exercise.
Plinko
The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most.
Scott Aukerman
Is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options.
John Hodgman
Which is why with USAA auto insurance.
Scott Aukerman
You'Ll get great service that is easy.
Jake Sully
And reliable, all at the touch of a button.
Plinko
Get a quote today, restrictions apply.
Jake Sully
Comedy Bang bang. We're back with Judge John Hodgman. See how easy it is? But then I fucked up easy right afterwards you can get the name right, but then anything you say afterwards is going to be yes, incorrect.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's. If you listen to the podcast, you will learn that is exactly what happens.
Jake Sully
Really?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Say say my own name, and then I go blank for about 30 minutes.
Jake Sully
This is an enticement to listen to your show, but I don't know that I'm going to take you up on it.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, you know what? Maybe some of your listeners won't.
Jake Sully
I'm too busy making the things. I can't listen to yours.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I understand completely.
Jake Sully
How often did you listen to this thing?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
What's that?
Jake Sully
How often do you listen to this thing, this comedy?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Bang, bang. Religiously? Every week.
Jake Sully
No, you don't.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
If I did, I could do an Australian accent.
Jake Sully
That's true.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm not sure why.
Jake Sully
And we need to get to.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But I do. But, Scott, God damn it.
Jake Sully
Did you hear me dismounting from you?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You didn't say. That is all.
Jake Sully
All right, go ahead.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I adore the podcast, and I adore you, and I hope that you someday achieve sentience.
Jake Sully
I adore you. I want to hear your show. At one point. I think I heard one episode. I think it was great.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Then you did your bit.
Jake Sully
Yeah, I did my part.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, absolutely.
Jake Sully
I added to those early ratings.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah.
Jake Sully
Which put you over the hump.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, absolutely.
Jake Sully
Set you up for life.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
We've been over the hump for a long time now. We got that Aukerman hump.
Jake Sully
Well, we need to get to our next guests. And, you know, we were saying that we need story ideas for your next book. And ideally, one of these guys is the master of story, and another guy is, I guess, like an army guy, but put them together. They're both deep sea adventurers. We want to welcome them back to the show. Please welcome back James Cameron and Jake Sully, King of the world.
Scott Aukerman
I'm king of the world, Scott. I'm glad to be back.
Plinko
The disrespect right out of the gate is astonishing.
Jake Sully
Is that an Australian accent?
Plinko
No, I'm American. We all know this. I sound American all the time.
Jake Sully
That's right. You are an American.
Plinko
I'm an American. That's my catchphrase.
Jake Sully
You're part of the U.S. army? No.
Plinko
What the fuck is this shit?
Jake Sully
What armed forces were you? Didn't you get your legs blown off in the. In a war or something?
Plinko
No, my brother, I. I became paralyzed in a motorcycle accident, I believe. My brother was an RDA trooper. They built an avatar off of him. My twin brother, he died. Very expensive. The only way to recoup the investment was to put me in there. I'm not an army guy. I'm an American.
Jake Sully
Is that what that movie is about?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Huh?
Plinko
Scott? What the fuck? It's the most beloved, successful movie of all time.
Jake Sully
We're, of course, talking about the Avatar franchise, of which there are two movies currently released, but there is a third one coming. When?
Scott Aukerman
Just in time for Christmas. Scott.
Plinko
We're starting the promo tour right here.
Jake Sully
So by December 25th, we are set.
Scott Aukerman
To release Avatar the third, December 19th, six days before the Birth of Christ is celebrated and we have been at the bottom of the ocean putting this film together.
Jake Sully
You've been putting it together at the bottom of the ocean.
Plinko
That's where the edit bay is.
Scott Aukerman
Where the edit bay is at the bottom of the ocean. I'm. And. And Scott, I'm talking about the very bottom of the ocean.
Jake Sully
So. So the.
Scott Aukerman
All the way down.
Plinko
So deep. Balls deep in the ocean.
Jake Sully
So do you put your ass to sleep?
Scott Aukerman
Do I put my ass to sleep? What's that mean?
Jake Sully
I. That's just a. A euphemism for how deep one can.
Plinko
Get up in the guts of that ocean. Or down in the guts, I should say.
Scott Aukerman
We are so excited. We've been down there. We've been putting it together. You've been. It's with some exciting stuff.
Plinko
It looks incredible. And we're finally ready to start promoting it.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It.
Plinko
Before we do so in earnest, Scott, I would appreciate an apology.
Scott Aukerman
I would also. I would also like an apology.
Jake Sully
Scott, an apo. Do you want an apology for the same thing?
Plinko
Your history of rudeness and disrespect to our film franchise, but more specifically in the first segment, I heard you say that you're trying to game out how you spend the next four years avoiding hearing that voice, that you don't want to hear it. You're going to block it out. And that clearly is a reference to the fact that two more Avatar films are coming out in the next four years.
Jake Sully
Oh, yeah. I, I don't know that I was necessarily talking.
Scott Aukerman
You.
Jake Sully
I mean, I, I. Look, I've talked about it before. I'm not a fan of these films.
Plinko
The Dulce American tones.
Scott Aukerman
Well, you've only seen. You've only seen two of them. To be honest, I think it's a.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Little early to be declaring judgment that.
Scott Aukerman
You'Re not a fan.
Plinko
We're not even worried. And that's coming from the judge himself, John Sean Hodgman.
Jake Sully
We have been Shawshank.
Scott Aukerman
We have shut. We've been living in the world of the Na'vi. We've been living. We've been living in the Avatar.
Jake Sully
What is the planet called again?
Plinko
Pandora.
Scott Aukerman
Pandora.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
One of them.
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
Don't look at each other to remind each other.
Plinko
We know. We're just giving each other support. We know.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. We're very isolated here talking to you because we know you think you don't like these films because you've seen a fraction of what the Avatar franchise has to offer.
Jake Sully
I guess you're right. You can't judge something on Just the first. Like if it was a normal film, it'd be 90 minutes. You can't judge it on the first minute or so.
Scott Aukerman
I can't the next.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But not everyone.
Scott Aukerman
The next film is going to be 192 minutes long, same as Boy of Water. And we're excited because, you know, we wanted. We know. We. We've been looking around, see some glum faces. We came up from the ocean.
Jake Sully
You've been looking around down underwater since.
Plinko
We came up, Scott. We've been.
Scott Aukerman
Follow the narrative. This is basic storytelling. We came up from the bottom of the ocean. We're looking around, we see some glum faces.
Plinko
So what happened here? What's going on? Why?
Jake Sully
Just walk me through this. You're in the.
Scott Aukerman
We're in the bottom of the ocean.
Jake Sully
Floater, spear or whatever, wherever you guys are at it, you come up, you pop up. We had a periscope first.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Wait, are you doing post production underwater too?
Plinko
Correct.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
It's not gonna sound right if we do it on land.
Plinko
And Avatar's being released in the most formats of any movie ever. So we have to do like 25 different post production processes.
Jake Sully
Understandable. So you.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
So we American.
Jake Sully
Is there a periscope first or where you're looking around and you see the.
Scott Aukerman
Glove faces or we'll do a periscope just to check.
Plinko
Yeah. And then we post it on periscope. And then James sticks his finger outside the top of the submarine just to test the temperature. Yeah, the wettest finger possible.
Jake Sully
And if it's. If it's a temperature you don't like, do you go back down?
Plinko
Yeah, correct.
Scott Aukerman
Fortunately, we liked the temperature when we came up.
Plinko
We did. We said it feels warm out there. And we got up, we saw all these glum faces.
Scott Aukerman
We came right.
Jake Sully
Where are the glum?
Scott Aukerman
Here in Los Angeles. We came right to your studio.
Plinko
Straight here starts a promo tour.
Jake Sully
I wondered why you're sopping wet.
Plinko
People could use some escapism right now.
Scott Aukerman
Right now we want to cheer people up. So we are here to talk about the next Avatar movie, Avatar. Fire and ash.
Plinko
Fire and ash. We don't know they're sad, but we want to give them some entertaining escapism. Fire and ash coming this Christmas.
Scott Aukerman
Fire and ash. Just in time for Christmas. This is going to be. This is going to be the feel good event of the year. Even though some bad things happen in.
Plinko
It, it's going to light up up across this great country and these great countries.
Jake Sully
As, as I recall, the first one was set in like the jungle. And it was a movie about a bunch of people or creatures who stuck their ponytails into each other's butts. And then not quite the second one was all like set underwater and it was about the. These same guys who are just kind of like swimming around. And then this one, everyone's on fire. Is that what I.
Plinko
Bunch of new guys. Guys. I had like five children.
Jake Sully
Do you think that. That people want to see people on fire with what's been happening in Los Angeles?
Scott Aukerman
First of all, superb summary.
Jake Sully
Yeah, thank you.
Scott Aukerman
I mean, if you have to. If you have to break it down.
Jake Sully
To the very elevator pitch is really what it's all about.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You know, Aukerman's famous in. In this Hollywood town for writing log lines. Top logline guy ghost writes all the log lines in town.
Scott Aukerman
You.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
A movie needs summarizing, they go to.
Scott Aukerman
You're. You're a logline guy.
Jake Sully
I'm a log line guy.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah.
Jake Sully
That's, I think in log lines, you.
Scott Aukerman
Know, short form storytelling.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
They call me Johnny Elicit. That is all. And they call him Scotty Logline. That is all.
Jake Sully
You know, some people like long form improv. Some people like short form. You know, blackout sketches at 30 seconds. I. That's. That's what I like.
Scott Aukerman
What's your. What's your favorite movie, Scott?
Jake Sully
Yeah, favorite movie. First of all, there was that one with the train coming right towards the. Very scary.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Sorry. Just thinking about it scared me.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I thought you were worried of being spoiled.
Plinko
It didn't say whether or not it stops.
Jake Sully
It misses the camera.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, yeah, but I saw the first minute.
Scott Aukerman
Give me the log line for that and then give me what you put on the poster.
Jake Sully
Okay, so Logline. Several onlookers are very perturbed by the sight of a train coming towards them, wondering if it'll hit them.
Scott Aukerman
All right, not bad now. All right, give me what's on the poster.
Jake Sully
Train yourself to be terrified this Christmas.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
See, what did I tell you?
Plinko
Wait a second. I know we got a lot of promotion.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
He's not just logline guy, he's tagline guy.
Plinko
Can we retroactively, what would you have thrown on that fucking Titanic? One sheet.
Jake Sully
Titanic probably, if you like the first three letters. Kate Winslet's going to show them.
Scott Aukerman
Can I. Can I tell you what?
Plinko
Good.
Scott Aukerman
Can I tell you what? Because, you know, you think that you've got people earned a certain amount of respect in this business, you'll ship both of these characters.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And people did, didn't they?
Plinko
That's a B poster.
Scott Aukerman
I, I. And this is part of the reason why I insisted on having tagline and logline approval for Avatars. I was so upset that Titanic rejected the studio. 20th Century Fox, they were terrified.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Sure.
Scott Aukerman
They thought, is this going to work? Will people like it? And I said, here's what goes on the poster. Not everybody likes to go down.
Plinko
And then my pitch was an arrow pointing up to my face and saying, but this guy sure does.
Jake Sully
Wait, this was for Titanic.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Titanic.
Jake Sully
Your. Your face was on the pose.
Plinko
It was sort of later I just said.
Scott Aukerman
And 20th Century Fox said, no way. No way is he on the post.
Jake Sully
Why is Jake Sully on this?
Scott Aukerman
Because he likes to go down.
Jake Sully
He's not even a character.
Scott Aukerman
He loves it. No. What do you mean, he?
Jake Sully
I mean, he existed in your imagination.
Plinko
At this point, before this podcast started.
Scott Aukerman
The Avatar films take place in a far away world.
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
In the future.
Plinko
Really deep in the future.
Scott Aukerman
Deep in the future.
Jake Sully
Really deep.
Scott Aukerman
Same timeline, though.
Jake Sully
What do you think about finding Nemo and Shark Tale? They did. They, they walked so you could run.
Plinko
Well, they swam so that we could dive.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Jake Sully
So swimming is the early version of diving.
Plinko
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Scott Aukerman
I like those movies. Those movies are pretty wet.
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
So you like wet things?
Scott Aukerman
I like wet movies.
Jake Sully
You like wet movies. What about wet treasure?
Scott Aukerman
Wet treasure.
Jake Sully
Know a guy you would get along with this guy really well, this guy, Brock Lovett, he loves wet treasure.
Scott Aukerman
Wet treasure. Tell me more. I'm excited. I'm interested.
Jake Sully
He. If he sees some dry treasure on land, he'll walk by. He. He does not give it the time of day.
Plinko
Will he kick it into the ocean so he can go down and get it again?
Jake Sully
That's his little workaround. Honestly.
Scott Aukerman
That's relatable, Scott.
Plinko
That's relatable. That's relatable.
Jake Sully
See, like wet movies where we're talking splash.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Jake Sully
That's the onomatopoeia version of, like, diving into the ocean. Is it not?
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. If Ronnie Howard hadn't made that film, that might have been what we call Titanic.
Jake Sully
Because I probably better off.
Scott Aukerman
I kind of. Well, the problem is Titanic. You think, oh, box office. Or you can see. You can see the doubts where Splash O makes a big splash.
Jake Sully
Do you ever consider, like, Here comes the Berg?
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. But then there was the movie the Burbs, and we were worried that. That people would mishear it and they'd think, here comes the burbs. Sounds like a sequel. Sounds like.
Plinko
I remember when Kevin James back Here Comes the Boom was coming out, Right?
Jake Sully
Yeah.
Plinko
James And I were holding hands all weekend because we were like, if this thing opens to 150 million, we're going to feel like idiots.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
Plinko
And when it opened below 10, it was. Was like, okay, we went the right way.
Jake Sully
Although Here comes the Boom could also be the alternate title to Titanic, because.
Scott Aukerman
For a hot second, we were gonna call it Ice Tribe Big Boat. And then we were hot on that title for a bit.
Plinko
We were Ice Tribe. And by the way, it was testing well.
Scott Aukerman
It was testing.
Plinko
It was testing really well.
Jake Sully
Here's my question, James. And. Sorry, sit this one out. What's your name? Jake Sully.
Plinko
I'm Jake Sully. I'm the biggest movie star of all time. I'm the highest grossing actor in history.
Jake Sully
You're not an actor. You're a character. Character, though.
Plinko
What's the difference?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
My man, to a real actor, there is no difference.
Jake Sully
That's the point.
Plinko
That's gets it.
Jake Sully
But so you. That is all you make this movie about with water. And. And water. We all know when we freeze it, it becomes ice.
Plinko
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Ice, baby.
Jake Sully
And then you're like, let's. Let's do some more of that.
Scott Aukerman
With this last Avatar, all this will be explained. You know, one of the things that we're excited about. I know last time we announced that we would be progressing the number of avatars that come out exponentially.
Jake Sully
Yeah. To. To. To where pretty soon all movies would be Avatar.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. I mean, all willing.
Plinko
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
The hope is to eventually fold back in, start carving up the movies that already exist that weren't turning Avatars.
Plinko
Tavatar.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. T. Well, not just my movies. I know. But that's a good place.
Jake Sully
A wonderful lavitar.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah. Yes. Although we want to be careful because the way that the. The L rolls over, we. We. Lavatar sounds like a lavatory. Yes. And that will be a movie that we make. We will be making. One of the Avatars will be called Lavatory. Lavatory.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Lavatory.
Jake Sully
Because to be honest, I've watched these movies and I've wondered, where does Jake Sully go to the bathroom? You know, it's like a jungle planet. Where does he go?
Scott Aukerman
I'll tell you where he goes wherever he wants.
Plinko
Thank you.
Scott Aukerman
And that's true.
Plinko
On set, biggest song, I go, james, hand me a vosbury puddle.
Jake Sully
Are you. Are you doing. Are you pulling a Jim Belushi? Where you're just. Allegedly.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Allegedly.
Plinko
Look, sometimes I'm pulling a Jim Belushi. Sometimes I'm pulling a Danny Thomas. Sometimes I'm pushing. Pulling a Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I go.
Jake Sully
Chuck Berry.
John Hodgman
Ever.
Plinko
Yeah, a couple times.
Scott Aukerman
Day one. Day one on Fire and Ash. We're getting ready for the first take.
Plinko
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Speed. Sound rolling.
Jake Sully
Sure. I know the terms. Yeah. I know the jargon.
Scott Aukerman
We're ready to go. Jake turns to me and says, james, hand me a priceless Ming vase.
Jake Sully
Wow.
Scott Aukerman
Now, I happen to have one with me.
Plinko
Sure.
Jake Sully
You have a collection. I'm sure.
Plinko
Yeah. And I. I said. I said, james.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Plinko
Get Bob Iger on FaceTime right now. I want him to see this so he knows who's boss.
Jake Sully
Right?
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
And you just relieved yourself right into the vase.
Plinko
Absolutely.
Jake Sully
Wow. That's.
Scott Aukerman
It went up in V value.
Jake Sully
Whoa. But it's priceless. So how does it go up in value?
Scott Aukerman
It's priceless times two.
Plinko
Priceless. Yeah.
Jake Sully
So it would be two.
Scott Aukerman
Two prices.
Jake Sully
Unimaginable prices.
Plinko
Priceless. Goof.
Scott Aukerman
All you got to do is not be able to imagine two things.
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
I don't think that I have the capacity to do that.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, I know that you don't, Scott. Yeah.
Plinko
It's like a David Fincher 7.
Scott Aukerman
I can't wait to pull this podcast into the Avatar series.
Jake Sully
Why are you talking at the same time?
Plinko
We have so much to say on our press tour.
Scott Aukerman
If we're gonna talk at the same time. You can just take the ste. Stems.
Plinko
Would take the separation.
Jake Sully
We'll try to separate whatever it was. You both said you were talking about the David Fincher 7.
Plinko
We're using mixing lingo. Sound mixing lingo. Because we're deep in the mix. The stems of the mix.
Jake Sully
Can I ask this. This movie. Fire and ash escapism. Are. Are there matches in this world?
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
Plinko
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Underwater?
Scott Aukerman
Yes.
Plinko
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Go on.
Plinko
There's also much. Dot com.
Jake Sully
Match dot com. Really? So, like. Like, Jake Sully, are you out there, like, going on.
Plinko
I'm a married man. I have children. I have. My family's a fortress.
Jake Sully
I don't know.
Plinko
You don't know about Niri?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Is that a character?
Jake Sully
Is that a character?
Plinko
Scott. She's the most successful actress of all time.
Jake Sully
Are we. Are we talking Zoe Saldania?
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
Huh.
Plinko
It's about to win an Oscar.
Jake Sully
Maybe.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
We'll find out.
Jake Sully
We'll find out. The tilde is now pronounced.
Plinko
That's true. But she's my wife.
Jake Sully
She's your wife.
Plinko
I'm not signing up for Match.com. i'm. I'm a loyal man.
Jake Sully
But your kids are or something. I don't know.
Plinko
My kids are many things. They're my fortress. Loak. Took my son who died.
Jake Sully
What's that character's name?
Plinko
We're not gonna talk about him.
Scott Aukerman
Don't do that. That's not what this.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
He's not in the next one.
Plinko
We're looking.
Scott Aukerman
I can't wait to fold this podcast into the Avatar.
Plinko
We'll never forget him, but we'll never say him his name.
Jake Sully
This avatar is not going to be part of the Avatar.
Scott Aukerman
Eventually, we're gonna get your whole back catalog, your whole library. We're gonna fold it away. We're gonna get the book. We're gonna fold the book in this. It's gonna be published second edition. It'll be. Have an Avatar logo at the top.
Jake Sully
No.
Plinko
Avatar. Avatar.
Jake Sully
I don't want to be part of the Avatar.
Scott Aukerman
Avatar. Bang, bang.
Jake Sully
I don't like these things.
Plinko
Comedy death Avatar.
Jake Sully
These are st. These are stupid.
Plinko
Everyone likes them.
Scott Aukerman
I'm gonna.
Jake Sully
I cannot name a single person who has ever liked one.
Scott Aukerman
James Cameron.
Plinko
Jake Sully. That's two, right?
Scott Aukerman
We just did it times two. I'm gonna take your last name. I'm gonna take the A. I like it so much. I'm gonna take the U. I'm gonna squeeze it till it's a V. I'm gonna take the K. I'm gonna make another A out of it. I'm gonna take the. No, I'm gonna take the top stem. I'm gonna break it off. I'm gonna put it in. So it's in between. So we got another little R. You're gonna be Scott, Avatar man.
Plinko
This is the thing you need to understand.
Scott Aukerman
It's so close. It's so close.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It's very close.
Scott Aukerman
It takes very little effort. I do it without breaking a sweat.
Plinko
James is a conservationist, right? So he doesn't things.
Scott Aukerman
I won't waste your name. I will use it to make a new.
Plinko
Using every part of the buffalo. So when we're changing these titles, we're not hitting delete once we're recrafting the letters.
Scott Aukerman
Comedy. Splash. Splash.
Plinko
That's funny.
Jake Sully
And what font is this? This is in the.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, yeah, in the Papyrus.
Plinko
Proprietary fonts.
Scott Aukerman
I'm Papyrus. We use.
Jake Sully
Well, guys, I wish you luck with these.
Plinko
We don't need luck.
Scott Aukerman
We don't need luck. That's all. These are already the most successful things, most anticipated movies.
Jake Sully
Yeah, but each one that comes out, you guys got to be thinking, like, when does everyone realize that these are stupid, right? I mean, like, that's got to be in the back of your mind.
Plinko
I can't relate to Your experience. Maybe that's what happens every time you record an episode we watch.
Jake Sully
I mean, honestly, it's. This is still. And I'm thinking this might be the one.
Scott Aukerman
In all seriousness, Scott, I get that you're making a joke. I get that's what you do.
Plinko
That's what you do.
Scott Aukerman
I made true lies. I know how to make a comedy.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's true.
Plinko
That gets them wet. That's funny.
Jake Sully
Well, guys, Avatar 3 Fire and Ash smash. December what you say? 19th. December 19th. People can see it in 3D I would imagine you, you high frame rates. You ever going to add a dimension?
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
Like just squirt water on people, you.
Plinko
Know, while they 40x that's happen.
Scott Aukerman
No, we have it. Whenever there's a gunshot, it blows on you.
Plinko
Yeah. Sometimes it punches you in the back.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
Plinko
These aren't bits.
Scott Aukerman
This is just real describing what 40x is. There's a gunshot, it goes and it blows on your neck.
Plinko
We're working on 5dx though.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
What's the 5th dimension?
Plinko
Stick the ponytail in the pud.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's right.
Plinko
I'm sorry. Stick the ponytail in the hand hold.
Jake Sully
Or else it gets the hose again. Of course. Well, guys, I wish you love with this your creative endeavors. We need to take a break. Can you stick around? I mean, I know you're so successful and you need to get back to the editing, but there are still some glum faces over here. Yeah, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we have an entree. Entrepreneur will have more, John Hodgman will have more, James Cameron, and senior name is Jake Sully. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang after this.
John Hodgman
Building a business may feel like a big jump, but on deck, small business loans can help keep you afloat. With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to 250,000. On deck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top rated online small business lender, Ondeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtibank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
Scott Aukerman
When something happens to your kitchen, you.
James Cameron
Might say, this is ludicrous.
Scott Aukerman
But that won't fix your home. That will only get you the wrapper. Ludacris.
John Hodgman
Having trouble? Don't panic. Panic. Don't be alarmed. You need to file a claim. Holla at State Farm. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is dead.
Scott Aukerman
That's right. You can file a claim on the app or call us.
Jake Sully
Thanks, Mr. Chris.
Scott Aukerman
No matter how ludicrous the situation, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
John Hodgman
State Farm, Bloomington, Illinois. Lowes knows that free is just better. That's why Milo's Rewards is free. To join as a member, you earn points towards Milo's money on eligible purchases, get exclusive free gifts and earn free shipping at Silver Key status. All on top of weekly member only deals. Don't wait. Join Milo's Rewards for free today and start saving more Lowe's. We help you save loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions. Details@lowe's.com Terms subject to change.
Jake Sully
Comedy bang bang. We have John Hodgman here. Rock and tour X of the Daily Show. You gonna go back to the Daily Show? I mean, Jon Stewart is back. I gu. And did you get the call of like, hey, come on back and do the thing that you used to do?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
No.
Jake Sully
All right, well, but I'd love to.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
If they decide to call, but they're very busy and I am not reading the news, so it might not be the best.
Jake Sully
Might not work out. We also have James Cameron and Jake Sully are here.
Scott Aukerman
King of the world.
Jake Sully
Let's get to our next guest. She's an entrepreneur. This is exciting. Never been on the show before. Please welcome Kitty Cjoy. Sage.
James Cameron
Aw, Hi. Hello. Hi. Thank you so much for having me.
Jake Sully
It's so good to meet you. This is John Hodgman.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
How do you do?
Jake Sully
And James Cameron is.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I just got a hug.
Jake Sully
Fictional character, Jake Sully, real movie star, though.
James Cameron
Fictional character. I love that. And hi. James Cameron.
Scott Aukerman
Hello.
James Cameron
I have some products for you.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, products.
Jake Sully
Okay. What is it? I. I assume these are products that you sell. Is that.
James Cameron
Yes. So I have opened a Skins Care product line.
Jake Sully
Okay.
James Cameron
Skin of Skin's care products.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Skins Care Skin.
James Cameron
So we all know what skins is like.
Jake Sully
Epidermis, the organ that is surrounding our body.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
The largest organ in the human body.
Plinko
Obviously.
Jake Sully
Depends on who you're talking to.
Plinko
Hey, Scott, we can agree on that.
James Cameron
That is such a good one. So I have a line of skin scares that is scientifically proven, proven to be scientific, and it is full of problems. But here's the thing. How many products have you seen that have so many ingredients? Like, we're talking 200, 300 things in there. Jam packed, right? They're jam packed with things. You're like, what is this? What is C4 7, 6. You know, so I've made products that are full of just five ingredients that involve one very specific scientifically proven thing. I have a question.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Okay.
Jake Sully
Okay.
James Cameron
What is skin skins eat?
Jake Sully
Huh?
James Cameron
Guess what's in here. Other skins.
Jake Sully
That's true. I mean skin particles are everywhere.
James Cameron
Skin particles is in everything. Those have never been taken down into one scientifically proven ingredient to put into a product to help skins eat more skins.
Jake Sully
Oh, okay.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
So the first ingredient in your product would be.
James Cameron
Skin.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Skin.
Jake Sully
Skin. Okay, great. So this is.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
What type of product is this again?
James Cameron
Skins Care.
Jake Sully
Skins care. Yeah. So this is a. Some sort of a product you put on your skin. Skins.
James Cameron
That is right.
Jake Sully
And the first ingredient is. Skins.
James Cameron
Skins.
Jake Sully
Okay, got it.
James Cameron
So skins usually some kind of fruit like a pomegranate or a naranja something and then something else like chicken push. And then other two minerals.
Plinko
Can I just ask one follow up question?
James Cameron
And I would love that.
Plinko
So I love the five ingredient cap.
James Cameron
Thank you. Because that if you can count it on one hand, I say yes. Put it. Get high five.
Plinko
Yeah, yeah. Cool. I got big hands.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
So count it, five it, spread it on your hand.
James Cameron
That's it. I love that. I'm going to use that.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, that's great. Please. That is all.
Plinko
It sounds like the other skins is like the cornerstone ingredient that's going to be in every bottle.
James Cameron
That's right. Other skins.
Plinko
And it sort of makes it sound the way you just described it. Like the other four ingredients are kind of a free for all based on whatever's closest at that time.
James Cameron
I do. Like whatever's in grasp. I have, but. But it's all pro proven by science.
Plinko
There were just quite a few maybes.
Jake Sully
When you were listing minerals. Maybe this will be in it. Maybe this will be in it.
Plinko
So is every bottle different?
James Cameron
Yes.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
So that's four. That's four ingredients. Skins, neurona, chicken push. Minerals.
James Cameron
Two. Two different kinds.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Two different kinds of minerals?
Jake Sully
Yeah.
James Cameron
You have to listen when I'm explaining.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Okay.
James Cameron
So two different kinds of minerals. One is scientifically proven and one we're still waiting to find out.
Scott Aukerman
What I respect about what you do is the timid wait to figure out what's safe and the bold forge ahead and prove what's safe.
James Cameron
But isn't that what life is?
Scott Aukerman
That is exactly.
James Cameron
That is what life is. It's a teaching of what we know and what we don't know.
Scott Aukerman
I hope you're writing this down, Scott. Yeah.
Jake Sully
Why would I be writing something down in the middle of a podcast? I'm just. If I really wanted to remember it, I'd go listen to it again. And I'm not going to.
Scott Aukerman
You have a whiteboard right next to your mixing board. I know you don't want people to know about that.
Plinko
Take that pen out.
Jake Sully
It's just to remember Jake Sully's name.
Scott Aukerman
I think you're to be commended for what you do.
James Cameron
Thank you. So I have products that are. But I would love to be the sponsor for Kami Bang Bang.
Jake Sully
Okay.
James Cameron
That's why I'm so excited to be here today, because I've been really trying to get meeting in with you. I really want to be the skin care product of Coffee Bang Bang.
Jake Sully
Oh, please don't. Don't. You're. You're tearing up right now.
James Cameron
I'm so excited about it.
Jake Sully
James. You're so excited right now. Her face is so wet. Can we try this before I greet.
James Cameron
Anything I have here for.
Scott Aukerman
I do have to. This is water soluble.
James Cameron
Yes, it is.
Scott Aukerman
Because I'm gonna get. I'm gonna. I'm in the ocean.
James Cameron
It's actually really good for waters, so. Yeah. So that one is naran. Huh?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Neuron.
Jake Sully
Huh?
James Cameron
That one's chicken skins.
Jake Sully
This is chicken skin plus skin.
James Cameron
Okay. Chicken skin, regular skin.
Scott Aukerman
This is a good burn.
Plinko
Yeah, it feels great in my pony.
James Cameron
And then those two minerals.
Jake Sully
This is very coarse.
James Cameron
A little bit of chicken push and.
Jake Sully
Then maybe a little bit of chickenpox.
James Cameron
Just a little bit.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah.
James Cameron
I have a different.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I just remembered that I have an intense chicken push allergy. So how maybe are we on this? Because I put this stuff all over my face.
James Cameron
So I have a scientist looking into that. And I'll let you know by the end of the podcast.
Jake Sully
I gotta say, mine that you gave me, my sample is mainly mineral. It's just like a rock.
James Cameron
Okay, well, that's good. That's lucky, actually, if you get. Oh, just mineral.
Jake Sully
But it feels bad when I try to apply it for slough.
James Cameron
What you're doing right now is called sloughing.
Jake Sully
Oh, is it really red right now?
James Cameron
I've seen a reaction that means it's working.
Plinko
It's working.
James Cameron
That means it's working.
Jake Sully
Working incorrectly, though.
James Cameron
No, Working. Right.
Jake Sully
Okay.
James Cameron
Can I tell y'all a secret?
Jake Sully
Yeah, please tell us a secret.
James Cameron
So I bet you're wondering how, how, how. How am I able to come up with all these ideas?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I have a question. Yeah, how, how, how, how are you able to come up with these ideas?
James Cameron
He's swelling a bit, but that is normal.
Jake Sully
It's normal.
James Cameron
That is actually.
Jake Sully
Why aren't you?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
The question stands. That is all.
James Cameron
It works different on every person. And so. And you're having a swelling reaction, which just means it's working. Okay, so you're wondering, how do I get all these ideas?
Jake Sully
Yeah.
James Cameron
I have a secret.
Jake Sully
So wait, the secret is that you have a secret?
James Cameron
Yes.
Jake Sully
Okay, tell us this secret. Do you have another secret?
James Cameron
I have another secret holding that secret.
Plinko
Holy shit.
Jake Sully
What is the third secret?
James Cameron
I have someone special who lives in my home.
Jake Sully
You have someone special who lives in your home?
James Cameron
Secret.
Jake Sully
Like a roommate?
Plinko
An in law?
James Cameron
No.
Plinko
A pet?
James Cameron
No. Kind of. No. Okay, let me tell you. Are you want to know?
Jake Sully
Yeah. I think we're out of guesses.
James Cameron
Okay. It's a Esther Trestrail, an et have you guys seen et? Did you ever wonder where that thing went?
Jake Sully
Yeah, I think it went home, ostensibly back to its home planet.
Plinko
We didn't see him get there, though.
Jake Sully
That's true. We saw him get in the spaceship. How do we know he landed?
Plinko
They were cowards. They ended at one.
James Cameron
Okay. He did go home, but then he was like, not anymore. I'm going back.
Plinko
Hey, can I sidebar with you for one moment?
James Cameron
Yeah.
Jake Sully
This is a sidebar.
Plinko
Yeah, Just quick sidebar, guys. Yeah. So the. The ET who lives with you is.
James Cameron
E. T. It is the ET but he has a name.
Jake Sully
What's his. What's ET's name?
James Cameron
Plinko.
Jake Sully
Pinko. Plinko like the Price is Right game or Pinko, like what we used to call communists.
James Cameron
Oh, well, I think it's the fun one.
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
Oh, Plinko.
Plinko
That's what you said the first time. That worked out well.
James Cameron
Yeah. Plinko.
Jake Sully
Plinko.
James Cameron
Plinko. You know what his planet's called?
Plinko
What?
James Cameron
Soupy Goo Goo.
Jake Sully
Soupy Goo Goo.
James Cameron
Yes.
Plinko
So Plinko from Soupy Cuckoo is here in Hollywood now?
James Cameron
Yes, he lives in my home.
Plinko
Is he? And just sidebar quickly. Is he taking this?
Jake Sully
This doesn't need to be a sidebar. These are the questions. We all know.
Plinko
Sidebar. This is personal.
James Cameron
Yes.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Sidebar. Do you have an EpiPen? Because I'm getting tired of this.
Jake Sully
Yeah, I. I think I have an EpiPen somewhere. Here.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Here.
Scott Aukerman
Wait. Try this.
James Cameron
Oh, here. Actually, I have another self for you. That's going to fix that.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
No, thank you.
Jake Sully
Here. Yeah, can I just jab you with it? Here I. Pulp Fiction styled right in the heart. That is all. Okay.
Plinko
Is Plinko taking meetings? Is he trying to get work?
James Cameron
I'll talk to him about that okay.
Plinko
Because I've just kind of.
James Cameron
Yeah, he's amazing. Well, I know, but we're kind of dating.
Jake Sully
But you're dating Plinko.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Jake Sully
How does that. I mean, you know, how's that work? You're. You're two different species, I guess.
James Cameron
Okay, so remember when he put on that outfit and he could go out during Halloween? On Halloween.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah.
Jake Sully
He was a ghost.
Scott Aukerman
He was a terrorist.
Jake Sully
He was a terrorist. Well, the kids were terrorists.
Scott Aukerman
They were all terrorists.
Jake Sully
He was a ghost, was he not?
James Cameron
He was a ghost. Yeah.
Plinko
Put a sheet over.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Ghost protocol. He was a terrorist.
James Cameron
So he is just sometimes he puts on wigs and.
Jake Sully
And like when he was in the closet.
James Cameron
Yeah, yeah. And so one day he did that and I was like, you're hot. And then we started dating. Yeah.
Plinko
He's making the products with.
James Cameron
Well, he is helping me co create. Yeah. And he. He's been the one who's really talked about, like, hey, you guys, quit it with spf. Like, things are. The sun is now on your side.
Jake Sully
Well, yeah. I mean, he's got a really brown, wrinkly body, so he doesn't care if.
James Cameron
His, you know, hey, that's my boyfriend.
Jake Sully
I. I beg you. I mean. But you like it.
James Cameron
I love it. Yeah.
Jake Sully
So, I mean, that's a compliment.
James Cameron
I know, but isn't that funny that his wrinkly body is helping me make skins? That's.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
How are you harvesting wrinkly Plinko skins for your skin screen?
James Cameron
Well, I'm scientifically proving those now. Now? Yeah, I've been sending them to the. To the sciences. To the sciences, yeah, to the labs. And they can let me know by the end of the podcast.
Jake Sully
And Plinko helped you develop this because it's his skin. And did he give you the technology for the mineral that doesn't really exist?
James Cameron
I think he. Yeah, he brought that mineral down from Soupy Goo Goo. And I think that with that is where we've really been able to expand and think about what could this be?
Jake Sully
So this is almost. Almost like, you know, Kryptonite. Yes, in a way. A mineral that doesn't exist here on Earth.
James Cameron
Exactly. We don't have a name for it yet.
Jake Sully
Okay. But it could be Soupy Goo Goo. Oh, Night. Or something like that.
James Cameron
It could be. To be Googoo. We actually have tried to push that name out, but we almost got sued by Gwyneth, by.
Jake Sully
Oh, because of Goop.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Because of Goop.
Jake Sully
Because the Go.
James Cameron
I would be careful now.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That's why babies never say that anymore. They never say goo goo anymore.
James Cameron
Careful, you guys.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, I'm sorry.
James Cameron
She's really careful about where you say wet again.
Jake Sully
I would. I think she copyrighted, like, Going down and. And wishing people that sue her to have a nice life. Excuse me.
Plinko
I copyrighted Going Down. If you catch my drinks.
Jake Sully
All right.
Plinko
Check the poster.
Jake Sully
I don't want to high five again. So what is.
James Cameron
Sorry, but E.T. i'll sit.
Jake Sully
E.T. really?
James Cameron
I think that's maybe TMI. My b. E.T.
Plinko
Go down.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Plinko
E.T. go.
Jake Sully
Is it uncomfortable for him because he's got that long neck?
James Cameron
Helps him.
Scott Aukerman
I think it's nei nei ne. Not enough information is.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, right.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Ep Extrapolate, please. Or elaborate. I should have said. What kind of. What kind of humorist am I?
Jake Sully
Yeah. Really?
James Cameron
Okay. I have another secret.
Jake Sully
You have another secret? I mean, this is all the effects. I gotta say.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Chicken push.
Jake Sully
This was huge already.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Jake Sully
The fact that ET has come back. He's from a planet named Soupy Goo Goo. His name is Plinko.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah.
Jake Sully
And he's going down on you on the reg.
Plinko
And he's taking meetings around town.
Jake Sully
Yeah. These are huge and huge revelations.
Scott Aukerman
Not with Netflix.
James Cameron
This one's a little bit for him. Tmi. But in your. Maybe not in it.
Jake Sully
Any.
James Cameron
I think that's it. Some of the products have been tested and scientifically proven using Plinko's excretions.
Jake Sully
Okay. Excretions.
James Cameron
Jizz.
Jake Sully
I mean, as excretions go, that's one of the better ones.
James Cameron
I know. So I'm just saying that you all have put that on you today and you're glowing.
Scott Aukerman
I thought you meant the way you tested them was that Plinko would jizz on the product.
Plinko
That's Hawaiian.
Scott Aukerman
Because you said some of these had been tested using his jizz, that he would ejaculate.
Plinko
The eye was jizz resistant.
Jake Sully
I think what Kitty Cjoy Sage is trying to say is that they've tested them and found that there is his ejaculate within.
James Cameron
Yes.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And it is particularly effective for what.
James Cameron
It is effective for. Anti wrinkle.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Anti wrinkle.
Jake Sully
Anti wrinkle.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Why doesn't he jizz on himself then? He's very wrinkly.
Jake Sully
Maybe he likes his wrinkles like you do.
James Cameron
I think he does. Yeah. I think he really likes it. I think he embraces it. And I. I think that that's also a good message.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You gotta love yourself. You gotta love yourself.
James Cameron
I think it's a good message for the world. Embrace yourself.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Even if, I mean we could all be jizzing on ourselves and looking fantastic.
James Cameron
Exactly.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
But we gotta love ourselves first.
James Cameron
That's right.
Plinko
Learn a few tricks.
Scott Aukerman
Do we know how? Maybe he'd be even more wrinkled if he wasn't using the product.
Jake Sully
That's a good point.
Scott Aukerman
Like we, we're seeing how wrinkled Plinko is when he is jizzing on himself.
Plinko
This is him looking relatively bbs.
Jake Sully
Right.
Plinko
Baby bottom smooth.
James Cameron
Yeah. Right.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Right. Thank you.
Jake Sully
To be honest.
Scott Aukerman
Relatively baby bottom smooth.
Jake Sully
To be honest, if these crows feed would go away, then I would, I would trade that for having Plinko jizz in my face.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Jake Sully
Or in these cups. And I would smear it on my face. Whatever. Whatever way these cups.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, that's what these were.
Scott Aukerman
Those were a gift. Scott.
James Cameron
I know I gave you these cuts.
Scott Aukerman
From the these commemorative promotional Avatar Fire and Ash cups.
Jake Sully
I didn't realize these were commemorative cups.
Plinko
I'm sorry, you didn't realize the giant logo that said Avatar Fire and ash.
Jake Sully
Come to the theaters December19. I thank you for the gift.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
They're shaped like a Na'vi hand hole. How do you not know?
Jake Sully
I apologize. I, I, I meant just cups in general.
James Cameron
Well, the good news is I'm g, I'm giving you all a gift basket giveaway to take away from you.
Jake Sully
We have to give them away from.
James Cameron
No, I'm giving them away to you.
Plinko
Wow.
Scott Aukerman
Right now what we are experiencing is the gift basket giveaway.
Plinko
Yeah. You're about to receive away.
Scott Aukerman
Can I ask you a question about the pressure on these bottles? Because we're going to be taking these fathoms deep.
James Cameron
I love that is scientifically proven that they will be absolutely 100% fine down there.
Scott Aukerman
So these aren't going to explode on the way down?
James Cameron
No, they've been flown. They've been, they've been flown. They've been deep seated. Good seat.
Jake Sully
I mean these have gone all the way to. What is it?
James Cameron
Soupy Juby Goo goo.
Jake Sully
Soupy Goo Goo.
James Cameron
Yeah. Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
Soupy Juby is a, is a future avatar planet that I told you about in confidence.
James Cameron
Can we come to Soupy Jupy? Because I've been dying to go there.
Scott Aukerman
You're welcome.
Plinko
Okay. Wait, can I say bubble James for a second?
Scott Aukerman
Sure.
Plinko
I'm thinking why treat them like competition? Let's fold them in.
Scott Aukerman
Let's fold them in.
Plinko
Let's get in series A round on these products. But also also get Plinko in our movies. So he's not the competition.
Jake Sully
Hey guys. What are you talking about over here?
Plinko
Scott, Respectfully back all the the way off.
Jake Sully
That is respectfully.
Plinko
Respectfully Scott.
Jake Sully
I'd hate. This is still respectful, Scott.
Plinko
From the bottom of my heart, you hack.
James Cameron
You guys back off.
Jake Sully
Hack.
James Cameron
I'm gonna break you apart right now.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Crow footed Android. Back the off.
James Cameron
I have.
Plinko
Respectfully.
James Cameron
I have been listening to everything you were talking about. But the really good news is I'm really good at keeping secrets.
Plinko
Okay.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh.
Plinko
How would you like to join our universe?
James Cameron
I would love it.
Plinko
Oh my God. James.
Jake Sully
And you think Plinko would be on board?
James Cameron
I think he'd be on board.
Plinko
Does he like to go deep? Yeah, but like really deep.
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, it sounds like a good fit.
Plinko
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
You like trees?
James Cameron
I love trees.
Scott Aukerman
You sound like a good fit. You like water?
Plinko
I got some great news for you.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Plinko
The nav. The dominant species of Planet Pandora.
James Cameron
Yeah.
Plinko
They have so much skins. Glowing blue skins everywhere.
James Cameron
I'm excited about this.
Plinko
This is a really good deal. Hey, John.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, what's up, Jake? Sully. Sorry. Sidebar. Quiet. Sidebar.
Scott Aukerman
Come over here.
Plinko
I'm thinking we could maybe.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah.
Plinko
Benefit from folding him in on the steel.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I. I mean, honestly, you know, I've been thinking of an idea for a book this whole time. I can't.
Scott Aukerman
How about you fold that book and you write the book on screen during Avatar 3.
Plinko
Fire and Ash books fold.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
We could just have one novelization slash pop up book.
James Cameron
We could have just one camera on him as he writes the whole time in a popping picture.
Plinko
Multi screen experience.
Jake Sully
Guys, can I come over or. Oh, come on.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
We're still sidebarring.
Plinko
But yeah, really, like you can come stand by the side of the sidebar.
Jake Sully
Okay. I really want to be a part of this.
Scott Aukerman
Fold you in.
Jake Sully
I'd love to be folded.
James Cameron
You want to be folded?
Plinko
You want to get folded?
Jake Sully
I'd like. I mean, to be honest, I was big fan of Plinkos when that movie came out, you know, and I was. I was crying when he. When he left to go to Soupy Goo.
James Cameron
We all were.
Jake Sully
And I would love to see him again. I'd love to like share the screen with him. Even if it was like a pop up video style of just, you know, me and him, bro and out down in the corner.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You could be like a robot butler or something. Right?
Plinko
And you cried at the end of the first avatar when my consciousness transferred from the home tree into the new Nivea heavy body.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Right.
Jake Sully
Is that what happened during that.
Plinko
Jesus.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Spoilers.
James Cameron
Can I give you guys a movie quote and tell me if you know what movie it is.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
This is fun.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
James Cameron
Okay. I didn't see anything. You're perfect.
Scott Aukerman
Avatar the way of water.
James Cameron
Let me do the voice. I didn't see anything.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You're perfect.
Plinko
Yeah, I. I'm gonna back him up. I think that's an audience member having just seen Avatar the way of.
Scott Aukerman
I think the first quote was someone in the lobby.
Plinko
Yeah.
Jake Sully
I, I.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Because it was a little quieter.
Scott Aukerman
Right. The first person. I didn't see anything.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
Scott Aukerman
It couldn't get into Avatar the way of water.
Plinko
Sold out.
Scott Aukerman
And then you're perfect with someone in the theater walking out, thumbs up. Talking back to the screen.
James Cameron
Here's another hint.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Okay.
James Cameron
There's water involved. Something else you're obsessed with.
Plinko
I didn't see anything.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I didn't see anything.
Jake Sully
Say, do it. Do.
James Cameron
I didn't see anything.
Jake Sully
Oh, you're perfect.
Scott Aukerman
Hold on. Is it CSE A SE A?
James Cameron
No.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
No.
Scott Aukerman
I didn't see any SEs. Hold on. I didn't see anything.
James Cameron
I didn't. I didn't see anything.
Scott Aukerman
Sea E E. Could you say that.
Jake Sully
You'Re perfect line again? Yeah, you're perfect.
Plinko
And it's that big that you're perfect.
Jake Sully
You kind of just got her hands up.
James Cameron
Yeah, I didn't see anything.
Jake Sully
Everything.
Scott Aukerman
You're perfect.
Plinko
Analyze this.
James Cameron
Okay, here's another. Here's another hint.
Jake Sully
Okay.
James Cameron
There's an opening of a shower curtain. I didn't see anything.
Scott Aukerman
Oh, this is Hitchcock. This is you're perfect.
Jake Sully
Yes, Definitely. Psycho shower movie, famous shower curtain, famous comedy. Did you say it was a comedy?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, the bit is wet.
Plinko
God.
Scott Aukerman
See anything?
Plinko
Open shower curtains. Sees naked lady, turns around, apologizes I didn't see anything. And then belies the fact that he did in fact see things by saying, you're perfect. Okay.
Scott Aukerman
Is this true? Lies. There are other movies. But he did see something clearly.
Plinko
Yeah.
James Cameron
Do you want to know?
Jake Sully
Yeah.
James Cameron
Do you want me to tell you who the actor was?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plinko.
James Cameron
Ronnie Dangerfield in.
Plinko
In Ladybugs.
James Cameron
No.
Jake Sully
God.
James Cameron
What was his other big movie?
Jake Sully
Yeah.
James Cameron
You win a whole gift basket?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
No, thank you.
Jake Sully
Well, Kitty Seajoy Sage. I have to say, this is a wild, wild story. You're perfect. Thank you.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Is it Seajoy Sea or.
Jake Sully
It is sea Joy.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, wow.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Surprised you didn't catch that, Jamie.
Jake Sully
Amazing.
Scott Aukerman
I didn't catch that. Some fish get away from you.
Jake Sully
That's right.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Are there ever more in the ocean.
James Cameron
Really slippery. And that's the salves.
Jake Sully
Well, guys, we are running out of time. We only have time, unfortunately, for one final Feature that is of course a little something called plug. Oh, what do you do now? The show's nearly done and what'll you do, my Scotty young one? Will you go and avenge the a.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Claimed by a hag?
Jake Sully
Will you go and open up the plug bag? Will you talk on and on about your broken foot affliction? We choose try and deny your anti addiction Cuz it's a plug, it's a plug, it's a plug, it's a plug, it's a plug man.
Plinko
This song is done.
Jake Sully
Goodbye. That's very akin to that as all that was Bob Dylan. Thank you so much to Bob Dylan versus. Yeah, no, I actually, I believe Bob Dylan is working under a. What's the word for him? Pseudonym. Yeah, Owen Walsh sent that in. That is a hard Plugs are gonna Bag by Owen Walsh. Thank you so much, guys. And. And when I say guys, I mean Owen. And what do we have here to plug John? What?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, you already mentioned my books. Vacation land medallion status Judge John Hoffman available maximumfound.org.org.org sir, every Wednesday Dicktown on Hulu. But I was just reminded by that I'm also in this movie called A Complete Unknown. Oh yeah, I saw that.
Jake Sully
And you're in that?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Yeah, it's a short scene.
Jake Sully
There's a whole scene.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I play the.
Jake Sully
How did I forget that you're in this?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I play the ventriloquist dummy Charlie McCarthy, the. The loathsome coastal elite. And at some point Bob Dylan. Timothy Chalamet playing Bob Dylan playing Bob Dylan snatches me out of Edgar Bergen's lap.
Jake Sully
Oh, right.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And brings me out of the alley and kicks me until I'm.
Jake Sully
That's because he thinks that you. That you're real. You are.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I'm a loathsome coastal elite. I represent the old Garden authority and stuff.
Jake Sully
All right, wonderful.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, you check it out on the cut scenes.
Jake Sully
Check that out in theaters. And then Kitty Cjoy Sage. What do we plug in here?
James Cameron
So I heard that you can sees things. How do I do blocks?
Jake Sully
Well. Well, what are you interested in?
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Is there an artist that a creator.
Jake Sully
Or a TV show or a recommendation?
James Cameron
Oh yeah, I love the show. Matlock on CBS with Kathy Bates.
Jake Sully
Yeah, yeah, she's. She's undercover.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Kathy Bates, the star of Titanic, if I remember.
Plinko
Yeah, Molly Brown.
James Cameron
She's unsinkable, that's for sure. She is amazing. And then I heard that there's a show coming out this summer that you can start getting excited about now.
Jake Sully
Oh, okay. Are you worried people will get really excited, and then just forget about it for months and months and months.
James Cameron
Well, I guess you're gonna have to keep talking about it amongst yourselves until sometime this summer.
Scott Aukerman
It's never too early to promote something.
Plinko
Yeah.
James Cameron
Thank you. I can't wait for number 10.
Jake Sully
Yeah. So what. What should. I mean, we should say, what's twisted metal? Twisted metal.
James Cameron
Twisted metal.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
James Cameron
Twist the metal.
Jake Sully
Now, is that an avatar? Do we know I mean, metal?
Scott Aukerman
Yeah, there's metal.
James Cameron
The ships, water things are twisting around relationships and plots and Best way to.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Twist metal is make it water, heat.
Jake Sully
It up, make it liquid almost.
Plinko
Yeah.
James Cameron
Alchemize something. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And then also I heard there's like this really fun show at the ground lanes that is happening every Friday and Saturday night.
Jake Sully
Okay.
James Cameron
Call it Kissing Booth.
Jake Sully
All right, People can go see that. All right, James Cameron and Jake Sully, what do you have to plug?
Scott Aukerman
Well, obviously, this December 19th, Avatar, fire and ash.
Plinko
You can't miss it.
Scott Aukerman
And then on December 21st. Now, I know that sounds like just a few days.
James Cameron
Is this 2026?
Scott Aukerman
No, 2025.
James Cameron
Okay.
Plinko
Fire reaction.
Scott Aukerman
On December 19th, fire and ash is coming out.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Okay.
Jake Sully
And then two days later.
Scott Aukerman
Well, no, it seems like it might be because 19th to December 21st, but 2029, Avatar 4 will be coming out and then back on December 19th. But two years after that, December 19th, 2031, Avatar 5 will be out.
Jake Sully
Right. And those. Those are the only five that have release dates at this point. But the. The rest of them will be coming out.
Scott Aukerman
No, they all have release dates. I didn't think you wanted me to regale. Okay, so on December. Yeah, 2032, Avatar 6 will be coming out.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Scott Aukerman
On December 19, 20.
Jake Sully
Is it always 21st or 19th?
Scott Aukerman
No, no. The Way of Water came out on the 16th, and the original Avatar came out on the 18th.
Plinko
We like December.
Scott Aukerman
It's on December. December 22nd of 2034, Avatar 8 is coming out.
Jake Sully
Are you still going to be alive at this point?
Scott Aukerman
And then a year after December 19th. December. That's when Avatar 7 is coming out. We were going to release eight first. Before we release before seven.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Plinko
I want to remind you that you asked for this, Scott. The plug was over and you tried.
Scott Aukerman
I was going to plug three and they were like, is that all you have?
Plinko
We got more.
Jake Sully
James. I will remind you, you had to go at a certain point.
Plinko
I have something I'd like to plug.
Jake Sully
Yes. No, you have to stay here. You're the one talking so much.
Scott Aukerman
I'm not saying anything.
Jake Sully
All Right, Jake? What did. What did you want to.
Plinko
Well, I love movies, of course. I'm a big movie star.
Jake Sully
Sure.
Plinko
And I want to support the culture. I mean, world's biggest movie star in history. There's a movie podcast I love. And more than the show itself, I love its fan base online. I love getting in there on the Reddit.
Jake Sully
You must be talking about Scott Hedgehog Seen. Because they have a great fan base.
Plinko
Blank check, actually.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Oh, no.
Jake Sully
Notoriously.
James Cameron
Dueling podcast.
Plinko
I don't think so. I feel like.
Jake Sully
I don't think they were envisioned as dueling podcasts, but then they became them.
Plinko
It feels like the people who host them are friends with each other and yet the fans of each dislike the other fans. Correct.
Jake Sully
And other hosts.
Plinko
And the other hosts. Yes. I just want peace in 2023.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
There was an eternal truce settled between all white guys with movie podcast.
Plinko
Absolutely. I also, you know, the Avatar movies get the biggest releases in the world.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
World.
Plinko
Giant blockbusters everyone knows about. Want to shout out a movie that seems to be on the absolute opposite end of the spectrum? There's a movie I saw called Turn Me on that ostensibly went straight to vod, and it's from what I've heard the actors in it only found out it had been released two days after it had been released.
Jake Sully
Oh, no.
Plinko
And are now sort of trying to do catch up.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Plinko
On marketing. But it's like a dystopian sci fi satire.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Plinko
Yes.
Jake Sully
I mean, it sounds bel Powley.
Plinko
Nick Robbins.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Plinko
Darcy Carden.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Plinko
Patty Harrison. Some named Griffin Newman.
Jake Sully
Okay. And this is on vod.
Plinko
It's wherever people watch.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
What's it called again?
Plinko
Turn Me On.
James Cameron
I can't wait to watch it.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
And it's got Griffin Newman in it.
Plinko
It does. Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Turn it off, please.
Scott Aukerman
God. I'll also plug the Tiny Dinos podcast.
Jake Sully
Okay.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Sure.
Jake Sully
Yeah.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
This is great.
Scott Aukerman
That's it.
James Cameron
Wait, can I do one more movie quote?
Jake Sully
Of course. Yeah.
James Cameron
Okay. Oh, hian. You're so huge.
Scott Aukerman
Huge.
Plinko
Oh, yawn.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
You're so.
James Cameron
Oh, yeah. You're so huge. You're gonna like this, James.
Scott Aukerman
Is that from Avatar?
Plinko
No, but he's gonna like it. Is it wet?
James Cameron
Wait, maybe you won't like it. It's from a movie called Breaking Away.
Jake Sully
I thought it was with Paul Dooley.
James Cameron
I think so.
Plinko
The bicycling movie with.
James Cameron
Oh, no. Breaking waves.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Breaking waves.
Jake Sully
Breaking.
Scott Aukerman
I like it. I like it.
James Cameron
That's why you like I like it.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Well, I have a movie quote. Here's my.
Jake Sully
This is my last thing we're still in plugs, by the way.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
I know this is. But this is a. This is a backdoor plug. This is the movie Quotes even to name the movie. That's not how you say that's not a knife. This is how you say this is a knife.
Plinko
Crocodile Dundy in Los Angeles.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Very, very close.
James Cameron
Crocodile Dundee.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
It's actually the title of my new book. Book that I just had an idea.
Plinko
Wow.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
How you say that's not a knife? This is how you say this is a knife.
James Cameron
A breakthrough.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
A memoir of a man learning an Australian accent.
Plinko
James is getting all right.
Jake Sully
We got to close.
Plinko
He wants to stay here for hours.
Jake Sully
I don't have anything to play.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
That is all. That is all that.
Jake Sully
I got to close up the old plug back. Here we go.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Open up the plug.
Jake Sully
20, 25. Open up the plug bank.
John Hodgman
Then you are alive. Open it up and make your dream come true.
Jake Sully
Open it up and let yourself be true.
John Hodgman
You got to open up and see all the floods because it's not time.
Jake Sully
To close it up.
Plinko
Up just yet.
John Hodgman
Open the blood bag with me, dude. Open the blood bag with me, dude. Please don't close it and be rude.
Jake Sully
Please don't close it. All right, that was quite good. Let's open this bag by Barnacle Joe. Thanks, Barnacle Joe. If you want to upload a plug theme, go over to cbb world.com plugs and you can do it. Also, while you're at CBB World, get the Randy and Karissa action. Fig, I didn't get a chance to put that in plugs, but guys, we're out of time. I want to thank you so much, John. Wonderful to have you so nice. And Kitty, Kitty, unfortunately, I erased your.
James Cameron
Name here on cjoy.
Plinko
Cjoy Sage Se.
Jake Sully
So wonderful to meet you. Good luck. And I'd love to meet Plinko at some time.
James Cameron
I'll bring him by.
Jake Sully
Bring him by. I would love that. And then James Cameron and Jake Sully.
Scott Aukerman
Always glad. We'll always come back. We love the show.
Jake Sully
That's so what any. And guys, I. To be honest, I'm a huge fan.
James Cameron
Here we go.
Scott Aukerman
We know King of the World.
Jake Sully
King of the world. Love the Avatar movies.
Plinko
Yeah, you do.
Scott Aukerman
You know what I mean? I get it. I'm one of the guys who gets. I get when you joke.
Jake Sully
I love that. I love that you get it.
Scott Aukerman
I love that I get it.
Plinko
Notoriously good sense of humor on this guy.
Jake Sully
All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks.
Scott Aukerman
Bye.
Jake Sully
That is all.
Kitty Cjoy Sage
Spectrum business knows that.
Jake Sully
You put in unlimited effort to unlock the unlimited possibilities of your small business. Get Internet, mobile phone and TV services to connect all aspects of your business and see your business made limitless.
John Hodgman
Learn more@spectrum.com business Building a business may feel like a big jump, but on Deck small business loans can help keep you afloat. With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to $250,000, OnDeck lets you choose the loan that's right for your business. As a top rated online small business lender, OnDeck's team of loan advisors can help you find the right business loan to fit your needs. Visit ondeck.com for more information. Depending on certain loan attributes, your business loan may be issued by Ondeck or Celtibank. Ondeck does not lend in North Dakota. All loans and amounts subject to lender approval.
Jake Sully
This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs. Oh boy, we're having entrepreneurs back on the show and they're going to use helps entrepreneurs stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from product products to content to time all in one place. All on your terms. You can get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at squarespace.com Bang Bang Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks of the dear mouse, my dear boy, and start receiving payments right away. Plus, give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like and Here We Go with them. They're going to sound made up, but maybe you know what they are. Klarna Ach Direct Debit in the us, Apple Pay Afterpay in the US and Canada and Clear Pay in the UK Squarespace look, what do I need to say about them? We've been using them now for it feels like I know it's over a decade. I think we did all the earwolf websites with Squarespace. They're the best. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you are ready to launch squarespace.com Bang Bang will save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Thanks Squarespace.
Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast Episode Summary
Episode: John Hodgman, Connor Ratliff, Griffin Newman, Patty Guggenheim
Release Date: February 17, 2025
Guests Overview In this episode of Comedy Bang Bang, host Scott Aukerman welcomes a dynamic lineup of guests, including the witty John Hodgman, the eclectic Connor Ratliff, the charismatic Griffin Newman, and the innovative entrepreneur Patty Guggenheim. The episode blends insightful conversations with absurdist humor, showcasing the unique comedic talents each guest brings to the table.
Kitty Cjoy Sage's Comedic Journey [02:47] Kitty Cjoy Sage opens the discussion by delving into her unconventional entry into the world of comedy and acting. Highlighting her work on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Kitty shares anecdotes about her early experiences in Hollywood, including her audition for Apple commercials. A memorable moment occurs when she humorously recounts her attempt to secure on-set stimulants, paralleling her experience with Buddy Ebsen’s allergic reaction during the filming of The Wizard of Oz ([06:10]).
Notable Quote:
Kitty Cjoy Sage [08:02]: “I was originally cast as the monster, although I do know who, but I was allergic to the latex makeup.”
John Hodgman’s Interlude and Entrepreneurial Insights [05:35] John Hodgman makes his presence felt both in comedic skits and in conversations about entrepreneurship. His segments are interspersed with playful banter, where he discusses the challenges of maintaining originality in a saturated market. Hodgman's humorous take on business loans and small business support adds a layer of satirical commentary on the entrepreneurial landscape.
Notable Quote:
John Hodgman [05:30]: “Having trouble? Don't panic. Don't be alarmed. You need to file a claim. Holla at State Farm. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.”
Avatar Franchise Parody with James Cameron and Jake Sully [26:15] A highlight of the episode is the parody involving James Cameron and Jake Sully, the iconic character from the Avatar series. Their exaggerated enthusiasm for the upcoming Avatar 3: Fire and Ash serves as a satirical take on blockbuster film promotions. The trio engages in a playful debate over plotlines, special effects, and the logistics of underwater film production, all while weaving in humorous nods to classic cinema.
Notable Quote:
Jake Sully [26:45]: “Just in time for Christmas. Scott.”
Scott Aukerman [27:46]: “To release Avatar the third, December 19th, six days before the Birth of Christ is celebrated...”
Entrepreneurial Conversations with Patty Guggenheim [46:35] Patty Guggenheim takes center stage as the entrepreneurial guest, sharing her insights into the intersection of comedy and business. She discusses her ventures, including her innovative approach to blending humor with entrepreneurial endeavors. Patty’s dialogue emphasizes the importance of creativity and adaptability in modern business practices.
Notable Quote:
Patty Guggenheim [46:43]: “Building a business may feel like a big jump, but on deck, small business loans can help keep you afloat. With lines of credit up to $100,000 and term loans up to $250,000.”
Humorous Skits and Interactive Banter [Various Timestamps] Throughout the episode, Scott Aukerman and the guests engage in a series of improvised skits and humorous exchanges. These segments include playful misunderstandings, fictional product promotions, and meta-commentary on the podcasting medium itself. Noteworthy is the recurring gag involving “Plinko” and the fictional Avatar universe, which adds a layer of absurdist humor to the episode.
Notable Quote:
Kitty Cjoy Sage [67:00]: “Stick the ponytail in the pud.”
Plinko [67:03]: “That's not how you say that's not a knife. This is how you say this is a knife.”
Book Promotions and Creative Plug Segments [47:00] Guests enthusiastically promote their latest books and creative projects. Kitty Cjoy Sage highlights her publications, Vacationland and Medallion Status, while James Cameron introduces his new skincare line, Skins Care. These plug segments are delivered with comedic flair, blending genuine promotion with humorous exaggerations.
Notable Quote:
James Cameron [50:46]: “What’s funny is that his wrinkly body is helping me make skins. That's...”
Closing Remarks and Final Skits [75:00] As the episode wraps up, the hosts and guests participate in a final round of comedic skits, including movie quote parodies and exaggerated promotional pitches. The episode concludes with lighthearted goodbyes and humorous nods to future collaborations, leaving listeners entertained and eagerly anticipating the next installment.
Notable Quote:
Kitty Cjoy Sage [75:16]: “How you say that's not a knife? This is how you say this is a knife. A memoir of a man learning an Australian accent.”
Conclusion This episode of Comedy Bang Bang masterfully blends improvisational comedy with insightful conversations, offering listeners a mix of laughs and engaging discussions. From Kitty Cjoy Sage’s journey in comedy to the satirical take on the Avatar franchise, the episode showcases the versatility and creativity that Comedy Bang Bang is renowned for. Whether you’re a long-time fan or a newcomer, this episode provides a delightful and entertaining experience.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Recommendations: For those who enjoyed this episode, consider exploring the individual works of the guests:
Stay tuned for more episodes of Comedy Bang Bang, where eccentric characters and celebrity guests converge for a unique blend of comedy and conversation.