Knick-Knack Paddy Whack (Karen Gillan, Lily Sullivan, Chris Kleckner)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast - Episode Summary Title: Knick-Knack Paddy Whack
Guests: Karen Gillan, Kitty Saint Beauregard, Harley Booth Kid
Release Date: June 9, 2025

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Comedy Bang Bang, host Scott Aukerman welcomes Karen Gillan, the talented actress known for her roles as Nebula in the Marvel Universe and Ruby Roundhouse in the Jumanji films. The episode also features the whimsical and eccentric characters Kitty Saint Beauregard and Harley Booth Kid, who contribute to the show's signature blend of celebrity interviews and comedic chaos.

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Main Conversation with Karen Gillan

[03:00] Scott Aukerman: Scott begins by humorously ranking podcast guests, placing a movie star like Karen Gillan at the top of the hierarchy.

Karen Gillan's Roles and Projects: Karen delves into her portrayal of Nebula in multiple Marvel films, discussing the physical transformations required for the role.
[04:03] Karen Gillan: "I got to wear the outfit in one of the films."

She humorously explains her experiences with prosthetics and CGI, revealing the behind-the-scenes challenges.
[05:04] Karen Gillan: "I thought I was only going to be in one Guardians of the Galaxy. So I shaved my head one time. But then I negotiated to shave half for the second film."

Discussion on "Life of Chuck": Karen introduces her latest project, The Life of Chuck, a film Scott attended a screening of. The duo discuss the film's unique structure and emotional depth.
[16:23] Karen Gillan: "It's a life-affirming story about three chapters of an ordinary man's life."

Scott shares his interpretation of the film, highlighting its mysterious and heartwarming elements.
[18:41] Karen Gillan: "It's beautiful. And it's all about celebrating moments of joy in life."

Personal Anecdotes: Karen recounts her unconventional wedding in a Scottish castle fraught with last-minute challenges, comparing it to the chaotic humor of Fawlty Towers.
[19:16] Karen Gillan: "Every day leading up to the wedding was a shit show, but the wedding itself was great."

Future Projects and Awards: Karen expresses optimism about The Life of Chuck receiving Oscar nominations and speculates humorously about lifetime achievement awards.
[25:55] Karen Gillan: "I think it's gonna be nominated for three Oscars. Best Actor for Mark Hamill, Best Picture, and maybe score or screenplay."

[30:14] Karen Gillan: "I'm glad you're not my agent."

Scott and Karen brainstorm an imaginary TV show pilot together, blending their creative energies humorously.

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Kitty Saint Beauregard: The Squatty Potty Killer

[34:02] Kitty Saint Beauregard: Enters the conversation with a dramatic flair, adopting the persona of a quirky and exaggerated suspect in a mock-murder mystery.

Comedic Interrogation: Kitty humorously describes her involvement in various ludicrous murders, each with a playful twist.
[36:37] Kitty Saint Beauregard: "They're calling me the Squatty Potty Killer because my husband strangled himself to death on a squatty potty."

[38:28] Kitty Saint Beauregard: "They're calling me the Ruggable Killer because he died wrapped in a ruggable rug."

Scott, Karen, and the fictional Kitty engage in a playful back-and-forth, blending reality with absurdity, as they investigate the comically intricate details of these "crimes."

[41:01] Scott Aukerman: "Your music is ending in six seconds."

The segment culminates in a humorous resolution where Kitty accidentally marries Scott, reinforcing the show's theme of blending celebrity guests with zany, fictional characters.

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Harley Booth Kid: King of the Flea Markets

[63:09] Harley Booth Kid: Introduces himself as the self-proclaimed "King of the Flea Markets," sharing an eccentric backstory of being an orphaned trader searching for his lost family.

Flea Market Antics: Harley attempts to engage Scott and Karen in comical trading scenarios, offering bizarre items like antique dental tools and glorified bottle caps.
[66:23] Scott Aukerman: "What do you do with these flea markets? You sell or you buy or what do you?"

[67:24] Karen Gillan: "But these aren't Antiques. They're just old, rusty dental tools."

The exchange is filled with playful banter and surreal humor as Harley's relentless attempts to trade items become increasingly absurd.

[70:14] Scott Aukerman: "How do you plug things?"

Harley and Kitty continue their over-the-top interactions, eventually leading to another mock-suspenseful situation where Harley tries to locate his parents, adding another layer of comedic storytelling.

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Conclusion

The episode skillfully balances an engaging interview with Karen Gillan, providing insights into her career and personal anecdotes, while interweaving the unpredictable and comedic antics of Kitty Saint Beauregard and Harley Booth Kid. The blend of real celebrity interactions with fictional characters exemplifies Comedy Bang Bang's unique style, offering listeners a rich and entertaining experience.

Notable Quotes:

• Karen Gillan [05:08]: "I would love to know the answer to that because... yeah."
• Kitty Saint Beauregard [36:57]: "How do you do that? What's your process?"
• Harley Booth Kid [66:27]: "I'm traveling around flea market to flea market, trying to look for them, trying to make deals, trying to be the king."

This episode encapsulates the essence of Comedy Bang Bang—a blend of celebrity interviews, improvisational comedy, and quirky fictional characters, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

As soon as the same day.

[Karen Gillan]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Banks and serviced by NetCredit application subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners netcredit credit to the people. Share me with Jeremy. We're off to cup. Not couples therapy, Thruffles therapy. Oh man, I messed it up right in the middle. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hey. Thank you to Henry Artemis Hentai archivist, for that incredible catchphrase submission. But unfortunately I messed it up in the middle and therefore it is cursed. I will not be saying that. Every week the search continues for a good catchphrase. Unfortunately, that will not be it. But thank you so much to Henry, Artemis and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. We have an exceptional show today coming up soon. We have. We have a suspect. Interesting. We have a suspect. We also have the king of the flea market. We'll be here a little bit later. So pretty interesting show here, but first off, can I say it? Stars are back. Stars are back on Comedy Bang Bang. And we couldn't be happier. I've taken you through the hierarchy of a good podcast guest. Of course, movie star is right there at the top. Then it goes TV star. Then it goes like stand up comedian with a special out.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then I'll take an author and then a podcaster. Scum of the earth. But we have a genuine movie star here today. You are a movie star. You look surprised I said that.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, yeah, I just guess I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're here promoting a Movie.

[Karen Gillan]

I. I am. I am starring in a movie. But I feel like there's a difference between starring in movies and being a movie star.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are. You. You act in a lot of mo. You star in them. Your name is sometimes above the title. You are occasionally number one on the call sheets, and you're the star of them.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, but if I wasn't the daughter of my parents, they wouldn't know who I am, and that's my marker. Does my parents know their name? And they don't know most of the movie stars names, to be fair.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. That's true. But of course, we all know her in the movies as Nebula from the Marvel franchises. The Guardians of the Galaxies. The Avengers. Are you an Avenger? Do they consider you an Avenger?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, I got to wear the outfit in one of the films.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they all wear an outfit?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, there's a uniform.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's an Avengers. I don't think so. The Hulk wears, like, purple pants.

[Karen Gillan]

No, no. There's one scene in Endgame where they're all wearing the same outfit.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're wearing the same thing, and you.

[Karen Gillan]

Got to wear Avengers thing. It's actually funny because we filmed it without wearing them. We were all wearing our normal costumes, and then later they decided they wanted us to be wearing a uniform. So all of it was cgi other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Than your heads, or did they even do your head cgi?

[Karen Gillan]

No, our heads were the real heads.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Karen Gillan]

I was covered in prosthetics.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

This.

[Scott Aukerman]

This begs the question, why don't they just let you show up in your street clothes, like wearing, you know, like, jeans and cut off jeans and sneakers?

[Karen Gillan]

Great question.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then just replace your entire body?

[Karen Gillan]

I would love to know the answer to that because. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I also want to ask you. And I'll introduce you in a second. I want to ask you. You played Nebula and you famously shave your head for the. For what was the first Guardians of the Galaxy?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, first Guardians. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you're in. Then you're in multiple more movies. You have to shave your head every single time or no.

[Karen Gillan]

So I thought I was only going to be in one Guardians of the Galaxy. So I was like, I can do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's do it.

[Karen Gillan]

My head. One time in my life. But then, you know, I'm tall, I'm big. So from behind, people kept calling me sir, which is fine, but just a bit like when you're bald and getting called a man. I don't know. So then for the second film, I negotiated half of my hair. So we like shaved. Just the under half. It's called the undershave, which is the horrible word. And then the next film, I had all of my hair.

[Scott Aukerman]

So why. Why not do that from the beginning? Why don't I go, guys, why did I shave my head?

[Karen Gillan]

James Gunn. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love to ask James Gunn, would you mind putting in a word for me so he can be on the show? You know her also in the movies as Ruby Roundhouse from the Jumanji films. And I didn't have to look up that name. Looking down at your Wikipedia page, the.

[Karen Gillan]

Length of time you took to say that as you were figuring out what.

[Scott Aukerman]

The words are as scanning this page. Where the fuck is that name? Of course she is Amy Pond in the Doctor who franchise. That was back when you were a TV star. Of course.

[Karen Gillan]

Yes. So lower tier for your podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

But now you're a movie star and you are starring in the upcoming film. It's out now in limited release, but it'll be out this Friday in wide release, the Life of Chuck. Please welcome for joining the exclusive One Timers Club on Comedy Bang Bang. Although you've been on the TV show, we can talk about that. Karen Gillan, welcome to the show.

[Karen Gillan]

Thank you. Thank you for having me back. No, not back. First time. First time on the podcast. Second time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. That was an alternate universe version of the show.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that host is a different guy.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this is me. This is the real show.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. I'm so excited to meet the real you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. I've never met the real you either. Welcome to the show. It's so wonderful to have you. We, of course, had a ball on episode 59, of course, episode 419. But if you say season four, episode 19 of the television show, Reggie Watts's second to last appearance on the show as bandleaders. I had to look up who else was on that episode because I couldn't remember it at all.

[Karen Gillan]

Not memorable.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. I remember your section very well. And then I was like, what else was in that show? And I looked it up.

[Karen Gillan]

Who else was on it?

[Scott Aukerman]

So I think it was John Gemberling was the other couch guest. And then you have Bob Einstein was Rest in peace. Super Dave Osbourne was also in it, but not on the day you were there.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, I see. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that was an incredible experience because he accepted the role and then got to set and let us know. He didn't want to say any of the lines that we wrote for him and instead wanted to riff.

[Karen Gillan]

Excellent.

[Scott Aukerman]

So that's an interesting episode. But you were. You were fantastic on that, and you were so good, and it's so nice of you to be here. You're. You're out promoting this big, big movie, the Life of Chuck, which I have seen.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

I went to a screening. I had an interesting experience at the screening where I walked in and there were two people having a very loud conversation in Italian before the movie started.

[Karen Gillan]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I was like, oh, interesting. A couple of people who obviously know Italian are here. Interesting. And then a couple more people came in, saw the people who were speaking Italian, went, ah, ciao, ciao. And I went, oh, their friends are here. No, they sat in a totally different section and then had loud conversations in Italian. Then more people came in, said hello to the other people in Italian. Oh, bon giorno. Ciao, ciao, ciao. Sat in a totally different place, had loud. I'm like, is this an Italian screening? Am I in the wrong? Am I in the right movie? Turned out it was the right movie. It was in English. Yes.

[Karen Gillan]

So why was there so many Italian people?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm baffled by it. And I was hoping that you could run this up the flagpole and get some answers for me.

[Karen Gillan]

I will ask Mike Flanagan directly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. This is the director and writer of the film.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now you've been in the. I call it the Flanniverse.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, the Flanniverse.

[Scott Aukerman]

For now. Over a decade, is that right?

[Karen Gillan]

I suppose so, yeah. No, well, over a decade, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. He put me in one of his first films, Oculus, a horror film.

[Scott Aukerman]

2013.

[Karen Gillan]

2013. And he brought me over to America. That's why I'm here.

[Scott Aukerman]

He, like, plucked me out of Scotland.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. He kidnapped me and put me in a horror film, and I just haven't left. It's pretty wild you've been doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because if you don't know Mike Flanagan's work, he mainly has worked in the horror genre. He does all of the Netflix.

[Karen Gillan]

Haunting of Hill House.

[Scott Aukerman]

Haunting of Hill Houses. The.

[Karen Gillan]

What was the Fall of the House of Usher.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fall of the House of Usher, which I saw, which was great.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. He's incredible.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so you've worked with him so many times. You're part of, like, his. He has sort of a repertory company. It feels like.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. It does seem like rep theater or something. Yeah. And I got to be in one of the first ones, which was really cool. And I can't believe believe I got that role, because I just remember being in my childhood bedroom in Scotland and then getting that audition. And then I had no one to read the other lines with me, so my dad had to read the lines in his thick accent that no one can understand. And he took so long. Like, he talks normally. And then when he started acting, he would just take these long pauses in between words and do, like, a voice. I was like, can you just talk? Like, say it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like you would say he was auditioning as well.

[Karen Gillan]

I don't know what was going on, but I'll do an impression of it. It was like this. It was like, kaylee, tell us why you're really here. And I was like, why are you talking like that? But then I got the part. And so he's thinking he did a good job, and it's. He's one of the worst actors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does Mike have anything for me in the next project? I'm trying to do sort of an Alan Cummings thing. I don't know. I'm doing the best I can.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, that was. That was pretty good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Speaking of which, would you go on Traitors if they asked you to?

[Karen Gillan]

100%.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course.

[Karen Gillan]

I always win Mafia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you really?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, because no one suspects me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's. Isn't it, random chance who ends up being Mafia?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, No, I know, but if I am Mafia, people don't think that I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Karen Gillan]

Except once we get past the first round and then everyone's on me. But I always wear the first round.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you're a great actress. That's why you can lie with the best of them.

[Karen Gillan]

They don't think I'm capable of. Of doing that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Acting is lying. Right. You're just a liar.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. Like, I lied to myself. Meaning, Like, I lie so hard to myself that I convince myself I'm genuinely feeling that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's right. Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you. I've seen you, like, with tears in your eyes in certain things. How do you do that? What's your process?

[Karen Gillan]

So I think about something that makes me feel the relevant emotion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. Yeah, this is a good tip.

[Karen Gillan]

I feel like Ian McKellen in Extras. There will be no scripts on the night. Yeah, no. Have you seen that or am I just talking?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have. Although I think that was back around the Oculus era, wasn't it?

[Karen Gillan]

Probably back in the old days or before that. No, but, yeah, no, I just. I trick myself into feeling something by calling upon something that's genuinely happened to me that will conjure up the relevant emotion that I need.

[Scott Aukerman]

So has everything happened to you that's happened in. So, like, when you were nebula. Like, all that stuff happened to you. You were in, like, a spaceship and all that kind of stuff.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's crazy. What'd you do up in the spaceship?

[Karen Gillan]

I just flew around.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flew around in spaceship.

[Karen Gillan]

Where'd you go? I went to. I can't think of one single planet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you got. What's the first one? Mercury.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it Venus?

[Karen Gillan]

Jupiter? I don't know if that's the right order.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you go Earth, Mars.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

God. That's when it gets a little. Then I think it's Jupiter, then Saturn.

[Karen Gillan]

What about Venus? Where's that?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's number two, I think I said.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, did you say that already? Sorry. See, I kind of.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're already forgetting planets.

[Karen Gillan]

I just said, can't retain a planet. That's something about me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that. I mean, you took a joyride up in space and that helped you. And when you were Ruby Roundhouse. Yeah, I remembered it well.

[Karen Gillan]

That. Yeah, you did. Well done. That. That was easy for me because that was genuinely something I've experienced not going into Jumanji, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you were trapped in a video game.

[Karen Gillan]

I feel like I'm trapped in a video game always.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. And also, I was playing a nerd from high school that has to pretend to be kick ass all the time. And so I was like, no acting necessary for this one because you.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many seasons of Doctor who did you do? If I'm guessing four? Is that right?

[Karen Gillan]

Two and a half.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, Series Two and a half?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seemed like four. It was so fulfilling. Thanks. And you're a fan favorite. And everyone seems to be going back to Doctor who. David Tennant came back. Billy Piper's always coming back. Like, are you. Like, what's going on? Are you going to go back and do another couple of years?

[Karen Gillan]

I don't have any plans to.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Karen Gillan]

But never say never.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, we got to get you on Traitors and back on Doctor who.

[Karen Gillan]

I'm glad you're not my agent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Movie star now. Go back into.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go.

[Karen Gillan]

Go to reality.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do a reality TV show and go back to your first thing. But people love you. Of course. That's where I first came to know your work in the doctor whoeverse currently in you. You were with the 11th doctor, I believe. Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Matt Smith.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He's currently a. Now he's. He's. He was in. He's a movie star as well. He was in Morbius.

[Karen Gillan]

Yes. It's a movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a movie.

[Karen Gillan]

It's a movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

It counts. As a movie. It's also my fault, weirdly enough. That was the tagline to the movie Morbius. It counts as a movie.

[Karen Gillan]

I think that would have been useful for people to know going into it. Yeah, that's my fault. Because he was like, what's it like doing Marvel? And I was like, it's amazing. Come and do it. It was Sony Marvel. It was Sony Marvel. Sorry. Sony. I love Sony.

[Scott Aukerman]

I heard that about Morbius, though. Like, a lot of people got tricked into it thinking it was, it was real Marvel.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. You got to know the difference between Sony, Marvel and Marvel because there's a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big difference, a huge difference. I think Sony, Marvel doesn't even exist anymore. Who knows?

[Karen Gillan]

But what about Spider Man? Is that Marvel?

[Scott Aukerman]

Marvel, Spider? No, it's a copro. But okay, that's. Yeah, I'll take you through it. Of course. I have a Sony deal and I'm writing Spider man for Marvel. So I shouldn't be saying any of this stuff, but. But now you're in the Life of Chuck now. I saw this film. It's a very fascinating film. I saw the trailer for it before another film maybe a month or so ago, and I thought, oh, okay, it's based on a Stephen King book. And I thought, oh, okay, this is one of his sort of slice of life, Stand By Me, Shawshank Redemption. Kind of like more grounded in reality kind of thing from the trailer. But then I watch the movie and it starts very audaciously. Do you want to say what the. How much can we say. Do you want to say what the premise of the movie is?

[Karen Gillan]

Yes, I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, by the way, your coffee is.

[Karen Gillan]

I think my coffee just arrived.

[Scott Aukerman]

Karen asked before the show started, can I order a coffee? Will that disturb the show? And I very confidently said, no, of course not.

[Karen Gillan]

And it couldn't have come at a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Worse time while I was trying to formulate a question, but do you. Someone's getting the coffee for you. Do you, do you want to describe the premise of the movie? How much can we say.

[Karen Gillan]

I have such a hard time describing this film, so I'm going to try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Karen Gillan]

It's a sort of life affirming story about three chapters of an ordinary man's life. And I don't know where to go from there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, let me just, let me just say where it kind of starts because I, I, because I hear what you said and I think like, oh, that sounds kind of normal to me.

[Karen Gillan]

Right. But it's the opposite of normal.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is, it's very audacious. In its structure. And the first part of the film is about a group of people seemingly at the end of the world.

[Karen Gillan]

In a way, it's the end of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything where, like, natural disasters are happening and it seems like humanity is not going to exist very, very soon. And then it goes from there, which is very, very interesting.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, yeah. It's just such a unique, interesting film. And it's like. It's basically like nothing I've ever seen before. And when I read the script, I was like, this is. I just. This is brand new territory. And that's why I'm having a hard time describing exactly what it is. You kind of just need to go and see it. Thank you. But that's my coffee.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's definitely not something there it is. Please enjoy it while I talk. It definitely felt like something I hadn't seen before. It definitely felt like, oh, holy shit. What is happening here? It's sort of a mystery. These characters. In the beginning, a mystery comes up where they're wondering who a certain person is that they keep seeing everywhere and then it just goes from there. And it starts as a very bold mystery and then it goes into a very heartwarming drama as well. It's. It's a fascinating film.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, it's beautiful. And it's all about celebrating moments of joy in life and. And it does make you sort of walk away and ask yourself questions like, how am I choosing to spend my time being alive? You're here right now and this is how I'm choosing to do it. Can't think of anything better to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

And to be on Traders.

[Karen Gillan]

Yes. Oh, I tell you what, also, they film it where I'm from.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know.

[Karen Gillan]

So it's like. It would just be like going home and then going to the local castle.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could probably walk home.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every night.

[Karen Gillan]

Genuinely. Yeah. I think I looked at that place as a wedding venue, actually.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. It went for a different one, but a different interesting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you. So you got married in a castle?

[Karen Gillan]

I got married in a castle. And let me tell you. Can you swear on this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which words do you want to say?

[Karen Gillan]

Show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

You can say that it was one of those. It was a. It was a shit show, but it was the show. The wedding. The days leading to the wedding were shit shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

The wedding itself, shit show. Every day.

[Karen Gillan]

Marriage. No, no, no, it's not a shit show. No. The wedding itself was great, but just everything went wrong in the lead up that could possibly go wrong in this wedding. Like, it was basically like this Lovely couple were showing us around the castle year prior. They were like, we're going to do it up. It's going to be lovely. And it was a construction site. And then four days before the wedding, it was still a construction site. My wedding planner went in and she just saw one man with a hammer called Keith. And he was like, I'm sorry, Gina, you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. I should have sorted this out. And she was like, what's gonna happen? There was no hot water. There was nowhere to cook. People were meant to live in the castle for four days. And that, you know, was. It was. There was like, wires coming out of the walls. And also this beautiful couple that had hosted us, and we were like. We would just want to end up like you had gone through a bitter divorce since you.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Since you read.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. And so I think that they were, you know, just almost hoping the wedding would be sabotaged in some way for some reason.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I guess if it were me, I would call up the local Marriott and just go, hey, do you have a ballroom available? Can we do this?

[Karen Gillan]

So here's the thing. It was in the middle of nowhere in Scotland. There's no Marriott, there's nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Couldn't you have called? Everyone said, hey, we're going to this place that's not in the middle of nowhere instead?

[Karen Gillan]

Could have, yes, I suppose. But it was all sorted. Everyone had booked their travel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, that's. That's so it. So it went off with Hitches. But you know what?

[Karen Gillan]

It was genuinely the most incredible time. Like, it was. Everyone said it was their favorite wedding that they've ever been to, but it was like Fawlty Towers. Like, you know, door handles were coming off and things were going wrong, but it added to it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I feel like that sometimes that sometimes the. The mistakes that happen on the day. We had several of our own with wedding, where it was supposed to be outside, and then across the street on Alvara Street, a loud music festival started playing an hour before the wedding. So we had to move everything inside. The DJ didn't got the wrong day, didn't show up, all this kind of stuff. And at a certain point, we just started laughing at how ridiculous it was getting. And then everyone had such a good time at the wedding and said, oh, it was so much better that it was inside because my wife got to make this incredible entrance down a spiral staircase that way, all this kind of stuff. So I think that the day itself can be stressful, but it can lead to Something. Really?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. I think it just makes you go, like, abandon all these expectations that you had and just sort of roll with it, which is a nicer mentality to go into it with.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what Steve Winwood would do. Roll with it.

[Karen Gillan]

Who's Steve Winwood? Should I know who this is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Nope. I shouldn't even know who he is. Well, the life of Chuck is out there, and this is an incredible cast. I wanted to highlight the cast because it's sort of top lined by Tom Hiddleston, who, of course, I saw on Broadway in Betrayal, which shares some of the same creative DNA of this film. I won't spoil exactly what I'm talking about, but I'll tell you during the break, but you have Tom Hiddleston, you have Chiwetel Ejiofor, Mark Hamill, Mia, Sara, of course, Sloan from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Matthew Lillard, you have Carl Lumbley, you have Kate Siegel. Nick Offerman does the narration in it. Such a great cast. And if you had told me that Loki, Nebula, Shaggy from Scooby Doo, Luke Skywalker and Chewie were in the same movie, Chiwetel, I would be going crazy.

[Karen Gillan]

It's. It's interesting that you chose Shaggy from Scooby Doo out of all of Matthew Lewis filmography.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's great, by the way. He's great in the film. And Scream. Yeah, he's great in Scream, but he's Shaggy.

[Karen Gillan]

That's iconic to me. It's. She's all that. Actually, if I'm choosing from his film.

[Scott Aukerman]

He'S segued from, like, this interesting teen actor into, like, an adult actor who, like, brings it in all these amazing things like Twin Peaks and this.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. Oh, he's incredible. And the Life of Chuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

I mean, he made me cry when I watched it for the first time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Did. Did you. Did you get to see anyone? Because you're in. It's. It's an ensemble cast and everyone does, like, a little slice of stuff. Did you get to see any of the other people filming or did you just kind of like, how many days did you work, by the way? What number were you on the call sheet?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Four.

[Karen Gillan]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Karen Gillan]

I don't know. Actually, I'm going to guess I was four. Looking at the names.

[Scott Aukerman]

So that's your own view of yourself. Interesting.

[Karen Gillan]

So I think I general Four.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Karen Gillan]

I probably worked about two weeks, but less than that. Maybe five or six days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's. I mean, the sequences you're in are incredible, though.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, I loved filming those it was wild to sort of ask yourself what it might genuinely feel like to be at the end of everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

And so many different emotions came up that I wasn't expecting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Audition or are you offer only?

[Karen Gillan]

I did not audition for that one. But I'm not offer only. I actually would like everybody to know that I'm not offer only. Would you audition for the trailer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or at least put together like a casting tape?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, I do. Like a full reel of my personality.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, the life of Chuck. This, it's. I really. We don't want to say too much about it because a lot of the interesting part of it is how it unfolds and where it unfolds and why it unfolds and who it unfolds and when it unfolds. Is that right? The reporter's questions. But it's getting a lot of notice. People are saying Oscar buzz. If you had to put a number on it, how many Oscars do you think it'll be nominated for? And then how many will it win?

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. I think it's gonna be nominated for three Oscars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three. Which three, do you mind saying? Or.

[Karen Gillan]

I think it's gonna. Let's just say, and I might manifest it, Best Actor for Mark Hamill, Best Picture, because it won. Toronto Film Festival.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a precursor to win.

[Karen Gillan]

It's a precursor. And I just threw in a third one that I don't really know what it is. Maybe score. Oh, screenplay. Score or screenplay. Maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And. And then also they'll create a special award for you. Probably like lifetime recognition.

[Karen Gillan]

Yes. I think it's about time that I had one of those. My contribution to the industry is deserving.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Karen Gillan]

You were Ruby Roundhouse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Roundhouse from the Jumanji film. Well, the Life of Chuck is out this Friday in wide release and I implore everyone to go see it. We're going to take a break if that's okay. But you can stick around, I hope.

[Karen Gillan]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're in the one timers club. I hope you will.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, absolutely. I'm going to have some coffee and be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's fantastic. Coming up, we have a suspect. We also have the king of the flea market. So this is a good show. You're on.

[Karen Gillan]

Suspect for Walt.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. We're gonna have to drill down on this, I think, after the break, but we'll be right back with more Karen Gill and more Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Here's what it is. You create a stunning online presence with Squarespace where you can easily showcase your services whether it's, I don't know, consultations, maybe events, experiences, all on a fully customizable website. Just enjoy yourself customizing this thing. You're gonna love it. It attracts clients and it helps grow your business. Squarespace's cutting edge design tools make it simple for anyone to build a bespoke website that aligns perfectly with their brand. Here's how you start. You start with Blueprint AI their AI AI AI AI powered website builder and create a fully personalized site in just a few steps. Oh, this sounds so futuristic and exciting. Squarespace also helps streamline your entire workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing and professional invoicing. Plus get paid on time with branded invoices and seamless online payments. Head to squarespace.com bangbang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Oh man. Think about all the times that you should have called an expert instead of doing it yourself. If you're a lawyer, accountant, realtor, or any other profession that requires sending a lot of stuff, don't waste your time. Rely on the experts instead. Stamps.com is the reliable expert. That's simple and easy to use and it saves you time and money. Access all of the USPS and UPS services that you need to run your business right from your computer or comfoner or componer or phoner. Anytime, day or night. No lines, no traffic, no waiting. All you need is a computer and a printer or a comprinter. They even send you a free scale. That's right, stamps.com, we've been using them for over a decade. At this point it has to be yeah boy, that's a long time. So let stamps.com do what they do best so you can focus your time and money on what you do better. Go to stamps.com and use code Bang Bang to sign up for a special offer. There's no contract required. You can cancel anytime. That's stamps.com code bang bang. USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day like superheroes and Sidekicks or auto and home insurance. With USAA Bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a'@usaa.com bundle restrictions apply. Comedy Bang Bang We're Back Karen Gillan here in the exclusive One Timers Club, of course, populated by such stars as Ben Stiller, Paul Rudd, Childish Gambino, and now Karen Gillan in the exclusive One Timers Club.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, that's a cool club to be part of.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is very cool. The Two Timers Club. A little less cool. And then you get to be like Adam Scott, who's been on for like 28 times or something like that. And it's like, Jesus. Yeah. He's TV though, right? You know, he keeps. He was in that Sony universe. He was in that. Madame Web. Madame Web, as the French say. Madame Web.

[Karen Gillan]

Did you see Madame Web?

[Scott Aukerman]

I did. My friend Tony Soni and I saw it together. But yeah, it's. I mean, he plays Uncle Ben in that.

[Karen Gillan]

There. Is there a character called Uncle Ben?

[Scott Aukerman]

How much do you know about Spider Man? What are the facts you know about Spider Man?

[Karen Gillan]

He's got a ginger love interest. And that's all I care to do. I mean, not in the Someone fancies a ginger.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not. Not in the current film version. But yes, Mary. Mary Jane Watson is traditionally. Yes.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that's all you know about it. You don't know anything about his powers or.

[Karen Gillan]

I know that he can shoot web from his fingers.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's two things, you know, and he can.

[Karen Gillan]

Is it not his fingers? What's it coming out of?

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be a very different look, I think, if he likes.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, is it one finger or is it between his fingers?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, okay. Well, now we're getting into organic web shooters versus mechanical web shooters. But in the comic books, he's. He's. He's made them. It comes out of his holes in his costumes, on his wrist, but he's made a mechanism that shoots them.

[Karen Gillan]

So it's not coming out of him organically.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true, yes. But then in the Sam Raimi films, they thought that was weird that he would have the powers of the spider except shooting webbing. So they made them come out of his wrists.

[Karen Gillan]

So they are organic.

[Scott Aukerman]

So in that case, they were organic. Then in the comics, they decided to ape the very popular film series. So they had them coming out of the wrist. They changed it to coming out of the wrist. And everyone just thought that was weird. Like it's kind of creepy, like webs coming out of someone's wrists.

[Karen Gillan]

Well, I want to know what. So is there always holes there or do they open?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like there's questions in the Sam Raimi films if you'll see it, much as I did in 2001 or two when it came out.

[Karen Gillan]

When she was ginger.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, when she was ginger. Yes. With, of course, Ahmed Zappa spraying Silly String everywhere. Anytime he shot webs, which annoyed a lot of people. The holes opened in his wrists, I believe, and then they sealed back up.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, okay.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

That's less creepy, I suppose, than like constant holes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Constant holes. Why did we start talking about the web shooter? Oh, yes.

[Karen Gillan]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, because I wanted to know how much you knew about Spider Man.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, because we're talking about Madame Web.

[Scott Aukerman]

Madame Web. Oh. There's a character named Uncle Ben in Spider man lore who kind of dies and teaches him everything he needs to know about responsibility.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, okay, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever read a comic book? Do you know anything about Nebula?

[Karen Gillan]

I've. Yes. I've read the Infinity Gauntlet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. What'd you think of that?

[Karen Gillan]

I thought it was really good. And that's the only comic I've ever read. And I had never read one before that. But I read it and I was like, oh, I get why people read these.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you promptly put it down.

[Karen Gillan]

And that was the end.

[Scott Aukerman]

And yet they're for nerds.

[Karen Gillan]

My husband. My husband writes them sometimes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does he really?

[Karen Gillan]

What's he write? He wrote Rocket and Groot comics.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow. I gotta. I gotta check those out. Yeah, fantastic. Well, we. Karen is here. We're talking about the Life of Chuck, which is out this Friday in wide release. And we have to get to our next guest. I mentioned she's a suspect. I don't know what. A suspect for what, though?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, this is the mystery. Like what she suspected of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know. We're gonna figure this out. Please. Welcome to the show, Kitty Saint Beauregard.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, hello, Detective. Didn't expect to see you so soon. See you brought your friend. Didn't expect to be double teamed so early this morning. Come on in, the place is a mess.

[Scott Aukerman]

When did you expect to be double teamed?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Can I get you a drink? The usual. Smeared off ice on the rocks with a twist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have chocolate smeared off ice?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

We have only chocolate milk. I'll get you a glass. And for you, pretty little lady.

[Karen Gillan]

It's like we're in a noir.

[Scott Aukerman]

She just got a coffee. I think she. Are you okay?

[Karen Gillan]

I mean, I'll take a little vodka in the coffee. Like little.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Make it.

[Karen Gillan]

Make it Irish or.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Sure. All I've got is whiskey.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, that.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The rum kind?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, rum then.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want some rum?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Some Parrot Bay? Here, let me pour you a glass. I Know why you're here.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville restaurant themed glass. Why do you have these?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. That's where I vacation. I go straight to Jimmy Buffett. It's Margaritaville in Las Vegas and I hang out there the whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Are these the type of questions you're gonna be asking me today?

[Scott Aukerman]

I honestly know. I don't. I. I don't know anything about you, so I. I would probably just ask you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You don't know anything about me? Yeah, right. Last time you were here, I remember I gave you a big old bowl of nuts. You remember that, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't remember a bowl of nuts or you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Here you go. It's a bowl of N. Pistachios and water with a spoon. I know what you like.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. This looks disgusting. Actually, I.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Take a big old slurp like you usually do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want these, Karen?

[Karen Gillan]

Actually, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Here you go.

[Karen Gillan]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Take a big old slurp like you used to.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, I remember that sound. It's been years since I've seen you. But I know why you're here, Scott. I know why you're here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I'm. I'm hosting a talk show and. And you're a guest on the talk show. Is that what you mean?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Or you think I don't know why you're here?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wasn't that funny? Really? Not even that funny. Now you're rolling around on your back with kicking your legs up.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You're here because of my husband.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's your husband? Husband.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

They're calling. You know what they're calling me around town, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I could guess if you want me to.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The Squatty Potty Killer.

[Karen Gillan]

The what? The squat.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The Squatty Potty Killer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Squatty Potty. Karen, do you know what a squatty potty is?

[Karen Gillan]

Is it something that you squat over to pee?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I think it's something that assists. Why don't you explain it?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Squatty Potty. Put it at the base of your toilet. It helps you get everything out. Number two style.

[Karen Gillan]

How does it work?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

How does it work, please?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a little stick.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Your legs are supposed to be nice and high up by your breasts when you take a shit.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's what you do. Nature style. Right, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's a little sort of step stool almost that you put your feet.

[Karen Gillan]

Up on because it emulates what you would be doing if you were like in the wild in the woods.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Correct.

[Karen Gillan]

Wait, do I need to get one.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Of these, you need to get one of them. You can buy them on Amazon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you an Amazon spokesperson?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

No. Me and Jeff go way back, but no.

[Karen Gillan]

So you killed someone? Who?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, hey, I'm sorry. Don't accuse me of anything. Oh, Scott, you've got my wrist. Ow. You squeeze my wrist so hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, I. All I did was tap you on the wrist because you turned away from me. I wouldn't want you to come back and talk. Talk more into the mic.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I'm injured. Oh, I don't know that he'll ever come back from something like that. Listen, I didn't do it, okay? I didn't kill him.

[Scott Aukerman]

So your husband is dead.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My husband's dead? That's right. You remember him? They called him Jealous Jack, but his name was Frank.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who called him Jealous Jack?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The whole town.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay, but why are you called the Squatty Potty Killer?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Because he died on the Squatty Potty. Slumped over. His legs were too high. They went in his armpits.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it was a high squatty potty.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Or his knees were in his armpits. His armpits were up by his head. He strangled himself to death.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but why? So what? Why do they think you did it?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, Scott, you silly man. Because I've been accused of murder in the past, as you remember.

[Scott Aukerman]

I honestly feel like this is the first time you and I are meeting.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

First time? Yeah, right. Remember I made you a Powerade stew?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is a Powerade stew? Exactly?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I boil down the Powerade into a liquid and I add a bunch of beef.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe Powerade comes in liquid form.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

But I boil it down to a syrup. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Cover it all over the meat. Serve it over a bowl of rice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. Like a mise en glaze.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Slurped it up.

[Karen Gillan]

So you were accused of murder previously as well?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, that's right. Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

How did he die? Or she.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My. It was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were they.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My ex husband, Scott.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My previous husband. He was a chiropractor. We all thought he'd die from cracking himself to death, but he didn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cracking himself to death. And everyone thought this.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Everyone thought he was going to crack himself to death, but he didn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do chiropractors typically work on themselves or.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, yeah, Scott. They like to crack themselves to sleep. Crack themselves awake. Crack themselves into a little pretzel. That's what they do. Scott, you ever been to a chiropractor?

[Scott Aukerman]

I went once. Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

I don't know about chiropractors.

[Scott Aukerman]

I I've. I've heard it's a. Not a precise science. Right.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. And I'm like. Is cracking good for you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't.

[Karen Gillan]

Cracking your bones?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I went once and it. It. It actually helped the thing.

[Karen Gillan]

Helped what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I had a back issue that. That was not going away. And I went to one chiropractor and they went crack.

[Karen Gillan]

And did it go away forever?

[Scott Aukerman]

It went away forever.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

And your dick got hard after that, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, so what.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That'S why you were there, wasn't it? You could say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I mean, since then. Yes.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was probably eight years ago.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

It's nice to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's gotten hard twice since the day.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

It's good to hear, Scott. Listen, I don't have any answers for you, okay? I told you I was asleep when it all went down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where were you sleeping? And where. Where did your husband.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I was asleep in my bed, Scott. My big old bed. And sure, no one can verify that, but that's where I was. I was underneath my covers, on top of my foam mattress. Tempur, Pedic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's. I mean, that's a slice of detail that kind of adds credence to your story, I guess.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, sure, but that doesn't answer anything for you, doesn't it? You want me to be the killer, don't you? I see it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have no skin in this game. I honestly don't.

[Karen Gillan]

I mean, I'm recognizing a pattern here. That's two weddings ago. Ex husbands.

[Scott Aukerman]

The MP3 I was sent ran out and I had to restart it.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Didn't know who I was for a minute there. Now that was something scary. Something I'll never forget. Yeah, they're. They're calling me. I know what they're calling me around town, Scott. They're calling me the ruggable killer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ruggable?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. Cause he was found wrapped in a rug.

[Scott Aukerman]

See?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He was found dead on his squatty body and wrapped in a rug.

[Scott Aukerman]

So why ruggable, though?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Because it was a ruggable rug. You could put it in the washer. You could wash it, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is that.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Haven't you heard of ruggable?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that a brand name? I have no idea.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, wow. Not in your price range, I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, anytime we spill anything on a rug, we just throw it away. Buy a new one. That's the kind of price range.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You lucky dirty dog. Some of us have to buy rugs we can wash so we can reuse them again. It's not a paper towel situation.

[Scott Aukerman]

So let me Get.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Just throw it in the trash.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Let me. Kitty Saint Beauregard. Let me get this straight.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

First time you've said my name all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Day and I didn't have to look down much like I didn't have to look down at Ruby Roundhouse. Your husband was taking a shit.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

The squatty potty got some sort of, like, elevated position.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

His knees strangled him to death.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

His knees pushed his shoulders up to his neck.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then somehow he fell off into a rug, which then.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. Onto the back of the rug. Ruggable rug.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then he rolled himself into the rug as he fell.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

This makes sense to me.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Mystery solved.

[Karen Gillan]

I mean, I have my suspicions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you really?

[Karen Gillan]

I think she did it.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Who's this troublemaker?

[Karen Gillan]

I'm sorry. It seems like you did it.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Seems like I did what?

[Karen Gillan]

That's Two Men.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Two Men. Who's the deal denominator?

[Karen Gillan]

It's you. Come on. She did it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That half a man. And you have a great sitcom on cbs.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Don't tease me, Scott. You know I love Two and a Half Men.

[Karen Gillan]

I watched the Staircase and he totally did it. Come on.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, no, not him. He'd never.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, see, of course, you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My boy. My beautiful boy. Colin Firth. He'd never kill somebody. No way. No. No way, no how, no how.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you talking about the documentary version or.

[Karen Gillan]

You'Re.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I don't know. I, I. It. You should be talking to the police about this. I really.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The police? You want me to go to the police and talk to them again? You know what they did to me? I had to scream fire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

They lit my. My purse on fire, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

So then you screamed fire.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then someone came in with some water.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Or then they put the. The fire out on my purse. That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so it sounds like it worked out.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Worked out perfectly. Scott, I can't go back there. No, no, no. No way, no how.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I. You know, it sounds like you have an airtight alibi. You were sleeping in bed.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's not what the police think. Scott. I'm in big, big, big trouble. That's right. Big old trouble.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, how can we help? I mean, Karen and I. Yeah, you know, you're on. Look, when you're on Comedy Bang Bang, we have a new tagline. I don't know if you know that, but at Comedy Bang Bang, we care. What the fuck we hit on that recently? Comedy Bang Bang, We Care.

[Karen Gillan]

I like it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's Good, right?

[Karen Gillan]

It's short.

[Scott Aukerman]

Says everything about the podcast, I think.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Comedy. Bang bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me restart this.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Who am I? There we go. There I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

But we care. And you're a guest on my show. And when you're here, you're family and I want to make sure that everything goes well for you. So do you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Because I. Loving it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, yes, another slogan for another restaurant. But that's fast casual, Whereas I'm loving it. It's more fast food. Yeah, but we'll do anything for you. Karen. And I will lie to the police. We'll do.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You'll lie to the police?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You'll lie to the boys in blue?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You're not some kind of badge bunny, are you?

[Karen Gillan]

No, I don't know what a badge. Oh, a badge.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Like a badge.

[Karen Gillan]

Please badge.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

A badge bunny. She's a girl who likes to be by way the police, if you know what I'm talking about.

[Karen Gillan]

No, I'm not one of those bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bunnies, if you know what I'm talking about. You said exactly what you're talking about.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

By the police, if you know what I'm talking about.

[Karen Gillan]

Is that really what they're called?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. Badge bunny. I used to be one. Many years ago.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, it's a not thing. Okay.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My boys in blue. But then they came after me, Scott. I had to get away. I had to run away. But they. They found me. Just like you. You found me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wait, you were getting like double teamed by the police?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the regs.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right, Scott. You ever heard about that porno that's based on that one woman who fucked the entire police force? No, that was me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, in the porno or you? Or it was based on both. Both.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The happy star as myself in the porno.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Karen Gillan]

Well, I would love to help.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'd love. Yeah, we'd love.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You want to help? Okay, fine. Oh, Scott, you've got my leg.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Sorry, I just brushed against you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He twisted my leg up in like a pretzel. It's like my chiropractor husband used to do. Wrap me up, crack me tight. Fine, Scott, what can we do?

[Scott Aukerman]

What can we do?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I'll tell you the truth, okay? I wasn't in bed. I was somewhere else.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where were you?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

And I wasn't at the cabaret.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? What cabaret? Like a nightclub or.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You know. I'm a cabaret singer, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I honestly know nothing about you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Zap da ba ba ba.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't heard scatting like that since Kim Cattrall. That is incredible.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

She's my idol.

[Karen Gillan]

Kim Cattrall.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Have you ever heard her scat?

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever heard her scat? I'll try to find the she's.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go ahead, play the clip. You can stop the music. Even though I'll lose my mind while you do.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, let me stop this clip.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Who am I for real?

[Scott Aukerman]

Kim Cattrall. Scatting pops up right away. Let's see. Here we go.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I read. Listen to this.

[Scott Aukerman]

And sonnets.

[Karen Gillan]

And he plays the upright bass.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's her husband with her.

[Karen Gillan]

Is that from a film or. This is real life.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

This is real life.

[Scott Aukerman]

From 60 minutes or something.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Till the end of that day.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, obviously. Great.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The Hullabaloo. There we go. I put a little bunny in a glass of milk. Zappa.

[Karen Gillan]

Zappa.

[Scott Aukerman]

So in any case, you were at the cabaret or you were not at the cabaret.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

God, I wasn't at the cabaret like you wanted me to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I saw you asking questions to all the little other ladies at the cabaret. Where was she? Was she here? Was she there?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I went into a nightclub the other night because I got lost and I needed directions. Is that. And you just saw me there? Is that.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was there for, like, three minutes.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My girls told me you were there, Scott. They saw you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then they turned on my phone and said, here's your map app, and then showed me how to use it. And I just. I got directions from that and I just left.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. I saw your location and everything. I've been tracking you this whole time. I knew you'd come.

[Scott Aukerman]

I shared my location with you accidentally.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's why you're on the show.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, yeah, that's right. That's why I'm here. Can I get you a dvd, Scott? I know what you like. Let me get you a DVD.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have DVDs around here?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I have a whole mess of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sure.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Why don't I put something on for.

[Scott Aukerman]

You, Scott, do you have Jojo dancer, your Life Is Calling?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

No, but I've got Jojo Siwa, your favorite. Okay, let me go ahead and put on a clip of Jojo Siwa in.

[Scott Aukerman]

What, like Dancing with the Stars or.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, no, Scott, her on Big Brother. That's what you want to see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Isn't Big Brother uk?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah, but, Scott, I wasn't out there. I wasn't scatting. No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you do Big Brother uk? Just Raiders?

[Karen Gillan]

Maybe, Maybe, maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I'm not talking Celebrity Big Brother. I'm just talking regular.

[Karen Gillan]

I would rather do the regular than the celebrity. I am a reality TV nut. So for that reason, I. I maybe would. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you do us, Big Brother?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, not too long.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think three months.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, but I'd be a novelty in America.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Being Scottish.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. Back to you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

No, it's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you mean?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go ahead, interrogate her. Gosh, these lights are hot. I don't think I'm skitting seared and smoked under these lights.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, look, do you want me to talk to the cops for you and just tell them to back off?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

What are you, some kind of badge money?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm cop.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You gonna fuck your way to the top, Scott? Wouldn't be the first time, would it?

[Scott Aukerman]

That is how I got the Comedy Bang Bang TV show.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Listen, Scott, I've got an alibi, but no one's gonna believe me. I need your help.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what can I do?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I was with my husband's best friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's that?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He's just a little old man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Geppetto from Pinocchio.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. Geppetto from Pinocchio. That's who I was with.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like you're just looking around the room when I ask you questions. Where's the Geppetto?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Where? Do you see something that has Geppetto?

[Scott Aukerman]

I saw my big Pinocchio.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

There's nothing with Pinocchio. I don't see anything. Pinocchio. Where do you see it? Where? I don't see a thing with Pinocchio on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also, I have the Geppetto costume from Tom Hanks Pinocchio in that glass case over there.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, you're talking about that. You're talking about that big Geppetto sculpture over there. Fine. I guess I was inspired a little bit. Okay, his real name is Chuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you mean the life of Chuck. We've just been talking about the life of Chuck for the past 20 minutes.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Okay, fine. That's not his name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your music is ending in six seconds.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, shit. His name's Bruno. Bruno Mars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now you're just looking at my Bruno Mars box head over here.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Scott, that's the truth. Okay? His name's Bruno Mars. Do you know him?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he's a member of Silk Sonic.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

And that's who I was with.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I don't believe you.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because he's. Bruno Mars is a huge. Have you ever met Bruno Stars?

[Karen Gillan]

I've never met Bruno Stars.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Bruno Stars.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what he should be called. He's one of our biggest.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Fine. I was with Bruno Stars. That's right. Bruno Stars. That's who I was with.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now that I might believe. Bruno Stars.

[Karen Gillan]

Bruno Stars.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He's a Bruno Mars impersonator.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He's out on Hollywood Boulevard. You ever been? It's gorgeous.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have a star yet?

[Karen Gillan]

I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gotta get one.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You gotta get one.

[Karen Gillan]

You know what's funny, though? Someone just bought me a literal star, so I have a star.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Not on the walk of fame, but in the sky. Yeah, it's called Karen Gillan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just like in the Doctor who season. Or series 19, rather season premiere. I believe.

[Karen Gillan]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

That all hinged on someone buying someone a star.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, well, the.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not watching.

[Karen Gillan]

I haven't caught up yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Ow.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Scott, you've got my butt. Let go of that thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

All I did was grab your butt.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I know what they're calling me out there, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? Aside from the ruggable killer and the squatty potty killer?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The Gordita Crunch killer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, don't tell me your husband had a Gordita crunch in his mouth.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, he had 45 gordita crunches stuffed inside him.

[Karen Gillan]

What is a Gordita Crunch?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You have so much to learn, little lady.

[Scott Aukerman]

Time you were at Taco Bell.

[Karen Gillan]

I've never been to Taco Bell.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? You've never made a run for the border?

[Karen Gillan]

No. What?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That can't be their slogan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Make a run for the port.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Jesus Christ.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a. It's a. It's a taco, as they say.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, no, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

With a crunchy exterior.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. It's got a crunchy. Although I guess they don't have soft inside.

[Scott Aukerman]

Soft inside, but hard.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Hard shell on the outside. Just like Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like I was going to say, a lot like me.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You can break me into a million pieces and find the pudding inside if you want, but it'll cost you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. I. First of all, I don't want to. And I don't want to spend any money on this either. How. How much, though?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

$45. I don't know. Cash.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cash?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Euros.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't keep that much money in euros around.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You must have euros on you, don't you?

[Karen Gillan]

No, we don't use euros where I'm from.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

What do you have the pound?

[Karen Gillan]

The pound? Yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, if you ever make a trip over there to Ireland, you need some euros, right?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

It's going to cost you 25 quid in. 30. 35 quill. Can you pay quill? That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like Peter Quill.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Karen Gillan]

Or like a literal quill.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Sure, go ahead. Pay up. Look, she's reaching inside her pockets.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay, here you go.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Look at all these quills. It's perfect. Fine. I'll tell you everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, tell us what happened. What actually happened.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Okay. I was with this guy, my best friend and lover, Ronnie Hackman. Why are you looking down at me?

[Scott Aukerman]

25 seconds. Can you wrap this up in 25 seconds?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I was with him. We were having a snog, if you know what I'm talking about. That's right, we were fucking.

[Karen Gillan]

That's not what snog means.

[Scott Aukerman]

Am I gonna have to restart this? For fuck's sake.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

For fuck's sake. What? All right, I had sex with them. That's where I was. And I can't tell. Hello? Can't tell you anything else besides that.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

If I can't come to the police, people will know I'm a slut. I can't be a slut in this town. Not no way. No. No more. Not after what happened to me when I was a badge bunny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, I think people can kind of tell just from everything you said and the way you look.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Excuse me? What about me, Reid? Slut.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, just, you know, the way you dress, the way you act.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Wow. He's about to say I was asking for it. Go ahead. No, go ahead, say it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wouldn't say that. I just say you look and act like. Like.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go on, you say it now.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you're beautiful. Don't get me wrong.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Don't get me wrong. Skanks can be hot, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look. Look, Kitty, I take it back. I don't think Karen and I want to get involved in this. This is.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah, I think this is too messy for you.

[Karen Gillan]

It's better.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Can't handle it, can you? Yeah, I don't think we can, Little Rough Rider. Yeah, well, go ahead. I'll make you a guitar before you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're looking at my guitar right now.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, that. That thing on the wall over there. I guess. I won't make you a guitar. I'll make you something else. How about an Erewhon Juice?

[Scott Aukerman]

Juice? You brought your own Erewhon Juice today.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Beet flavored.

[Karen Gillan]

This is mine.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Look, Kitty, we're gonna have to take a break. Can you stick around, though? I'm not gonna play your music in the next.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go ahead, beg for it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're gonna have to act like this without the music. Are you prepared?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I don't know that I can do that, but we'll give it maybe every.

[Scott Aukerman]

Time you talk, I'll restart the MP3. I don't know.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

We'll have to play all three minutes of it, won't we, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I'll try to ride the fader somehow. We're gonna take a break. When we come back, we have. Oh, the king of the flea markets will be here.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, exciting.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Uh oh, do you know it's trouble?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I don't want to ask, but we'll be right back with more Karen Gillan, more Kitty St. Beauregard. We're gonna be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. Parents of tweens, if you're familiar with far off drop offs. Dad, stop. Stop.

[Karen Gillan]

Stop right here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or get DMs about what's for dinner. You may be experiencing tween milestones for your son or daughter. These can start at age 9. HPV vaccination, a type of cancer prevention against certain HPV related cancers, can start then too.

[Karen Gillan]

For most, HPV clears on its own.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

But for those who don't clear the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Virus, it can cause certain cancers later in life. Embrace this phase. Help protect them in the next.

[Karen Gillan]

Ask their doctor today about HPV vaccination.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Brought to you by Merck.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi vehicle discount, Safe driver discount. New vehicle discount. Storage discount.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usaa.com autodiscounts restrictions apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

1, 2, 3, 4. Those are numbers. But you already knew that. If you want to know what number you're going to pay each month for your car, use Kelley Blue Book. My wallet on autotrader. They're really good at numbers. Auto trainer Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Karen Gillan is here. The Life of Chuck in theaters this Friday.

[Karen Gillan]

Yay.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a touching tear. You're gonna come out and you're gonna be like, ow, my tears were jerked out of my eyes.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. And you'll have an existential crisis, but in a way that you won't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. It'll make you kind of re examine your life and realize you've been doing everything wrong.

[Karen Gillan]

Wrong. Right. And then. And then you might fix it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't yet. I saw it about a week ago. Nothing's changed.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Really?

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, well, maybe it'll kick in. Yeah, it might kick it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think. Life of Chuck plus three weeks.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? Like, that's what it Takes to make a change. Yeah, exactly.

[Karen Gillan]

Although if you look. Sorry, you took a big gasp as if you were moving on to the next.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am going to take. Yeah, yeah. What were you gonna say?

[Karen Gillan]

Well, I just, I just wanted to ask you, if you were to look at your life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Life of Chuck style.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. And basically be like, like, if it was ending now, would you be like, I'm so happy with the way I spent my time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's see. I did 110 episodes of the Comedy Bang Bang TV show. You were on episode 59. I was happy with about probably 108 of those.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've done 900 and some odd episodes of this show. I've been happy with about 108 of those. And other than that, it's been pretty much just a waste of time. I think so.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But I, but, oh, and I made that movie. But, you know, other than that.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's not been great.

[Karen Gillan]

I think that that's pretty good. A lot of people don't do anything that they actually want to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. A lot of people don't get 110 episodes of a TV show.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. Come on, let's reframe it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. I got to make 110. Now, it was in a concentrated period, so it was, it was over five years. So really only five years of my life have been good.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, well, it's not too late. Let's turn it around.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I'll get another TV show, I hate to tell you, unless. Unless we start in it together.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay, let's do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I'll leverage your talent and your fame, your, Your movie stardom, and I'll say, no, she's coming back to tv. But there's a catch. It's with me.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. And what, what's our TV show?

[Scott Aukerman]

We could be, we can, like, realistically, could we be brother and sister if, like a mom and dad stopped having sex for about 20 years and then had another kid?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, right.

[Karen Gillan]

That tracks. Yeah. Okay. Brother and sister. Brother and sister who solve crimes or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, they try to solve crimes. I don't think they ever solve the actual crimes.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. Yeah. Maybe they, like, make things worse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. They get involved and they like, like, you know, like I, they, they got one of those cards from a police officer that says you can stop by any crime scene and do whatever you want. Oh, yeah. And, and so they use that all the time and they're like, hey, we're gonna investigate this. And everyone goes, oh, they have one of the cards.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then we look around, and then we go, this is too hard.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. Then go do something else.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. That'd be fun.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. It'll be like Sherlock and. And Watson, but the bad versions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the bad at solving crimes. Because I think those guys are kind of bad personality wise.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay, so maybe we have good personalities, but we're bad at.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we have great personalities. That's the thing. That's what's gonna sell the show.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we'll call it the Two People with Great Personalities.

[Karen Gillan]

Perfect. Rolls off the tongue.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many episodes do you want to do?

[Karen Gillan]

Eight limited series. One.

[Scott Aukerman]

I only want to do two.

[Karen Gillan]

You only want to do two episodes, and that's it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I get too sleepy.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. We could do two long episodes, two short ones. Okay. 30 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

13. Is that what you said? Because I'm on board for that.

[Karen Gillan]

So. I mean, this is gonna sell. This is gonna sell.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think this will sell. We also have Kitty St. Beauregard is here.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Zap day zo ba da. Little mouse in the house with a microphone. Zapow the bow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've just been watching the Kim Catrall video during the break.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah, that's right, Scott. I had my earphones in. Why. Why are you handing me this card? What's going on here? A couple detectives, huh? Brother, sister? Duo.

[Scott Aukerman]

You met us earlier.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I could see it from a million miles away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, she's. She's in on our pilot. I think she. Yeah, she's attached.

[Karen Gillan]

Yes, I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm fading your music down.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Why? Who am I?

[Scott Aukerman]

We have to talk to our next guest. Unfortunately. Or when I say unfortunately, I mean unfortunately. Unfortunately for your music. Music. So I don't know why I'm being so polite to your music.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Why are you being so nice to me? I've never had a boy be so nice to me in my whole life.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is how you reel us in? Is that right?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's how I reel you in? Is that what you said?

[Scott Aukerman]

That is what I said.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Is that what you said? Is that. Huh? What? You all done with me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You're gonna throw me aside like a piece of trash?

[Scott Aukerman]

I faded your music out. We're moving on to the next guest.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You're gonna make me into a pile of mush? You just throw down the garbage disposal. Go ahead. Do it, Scott. Throw me down the garbage disposal.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Coming up next on the show, it's his first time on the show. He's joining the exclusive One Timers Club. That's Fantastic. Everyone here is in the one Timers Club other than me. I'm in the 900 and whatever club. Please welcome, for the first time, he's the king of the flea markets. Please welcome Harley Booth. Kid.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Okay, let me sit down here, Scott. I got all my stuff from the. I was at. I was at the markets this morning. Thank you for having me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, yeah. Have a seat. Throw your what?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Sprawl out. I got a lot of goods for you guys today.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a lot.

[Harley Booth Kid]

A lot of goods for you guys today.

[Scott Aukerman]

You brought. Oh, so you brought. You're king of the flea markets and you brought stuff for us?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Oh, baby, did I ever. I did some deals this morning. Everywhere I go, I like to do some deals, and I don't want you to be excluded.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Okay, great. This is, by the way, this is Karen.

[Karen Gillan]

Hi. Nice to meet you.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Kitty Ram. All right, here we go.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He knows my catchphrase.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Kitty rare is your catchphrase?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah, that's what I went viral for. Wasn't my porno and all very good.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think the porno is why you went viral. Those things are just naturally viral.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

This is my catchphrase. It was when I went at the end.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, fair enough.

[Harley Booth Kid]

When you climax, you go raw.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. Like a kitty. Like a kitty cat.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Well, it's great to be here, Scott. I'm happy you haven't been here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great to have you. Harley, are you the self proclaimed king of the flea markets or sort of self proclaimed?

[Harley Booth Kid]

There's definitely a hierarchy bloodline into the flea market world.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Harley Booth Kid]

I never know if I'm a part of it because when I was little, I was born into the flea market world and I turned my back one day and my family left me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's so sad. Meaning your. Your family was involved in flea markets? They had an emporium.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah, we had a booth. We had a traveling booth. We traveled a booth all around. We had all sorts of narratives, knickknacks, all sorts of patty wax, give a dog a bone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Harley Booth Kid]

There was one day I was crawling around. I was a booth kid. That's why it's my last name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's right. Your last name is booth kid.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know my real last name. So I was crawling around. I'd go from flea market to flea market by myself, and they say, hey, there's the little booth kid. Get him out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you. You. You lost your parents or your parents lost you?

[Harley Booth Kid]

It sounds like you never know. Okay. So I was crawling around. I was being a booth kid. I crawled into a nice cart of bolts, rusty bolts, and I made a little nest. I took a little nap. Next thing I know, bang, I wake up, they're gone.

[Scott Aukerman]

The bolts, my parents, and the tent. Oh, okay.

[Harley Booth Kid]

But for some reason, the entire flea market was gone. Just the bolts were there.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they left the bolts behind.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yep. Kind of feels intentional. Felt a little intentional.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah, because I would have tried to pick the bolts out around you, maybe.

[Harley Booth Kid]

No, I was a tiny, tiny little baby. I was a tiny little dude. Booth kid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so. So they. So it's just an empty parking lot with just a bucket of bolts and you in it.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yep. And I wake up, and I'm like, what the heck's going on? And so then from now on, since going on from there, I've just been traveling around, you know, flea market to flea market, trying to look for them, trying to make deals, trying to be the king.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you are the king. You. You say you're the king at least.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah, but if. You know, it depends on if the bloodline. If I'm part of the bloodline.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have no idea.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Right? We have no idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what do you do with these? These. These flea markets? You. You sell or you buy or what do you.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I, I. I trade. I don't have a booth of my own. I live out of a Previa, the van. That's where I've got all my knickknacks, my paddy wax, my give a dog bones. And so I take what I got from flea market to flea market. I do trades. I'm the best trader out there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, give us an example here.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Like, you want an example.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are some of the trades?

[Harley Booth Kid]

When I got here, okay, it looks like we saw. We. There was a lot of things in this room that I was willing to trade on. Okay, Seeing a four.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about my Geppetto costume? Oh, how much could I get?

[Harley Booth Kid]

You read my mind. I've got a. I've got three Geppettos already, but I need a fourth because they're a quad Now, Scott, I want.

[Scott Aukerman]

To trade with you, okay?

[Harley Booth Kid]

I got some things I think you'll be very interested in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, look at what I got here.

[Harley Booth Kid]

These are antique dental tools.

[Scott Aukerman]

Antique dental tools? What. What era do these hail from?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Definitely before the 90s. They're rusty enough. They look terrifying. You can hang them up as art.

[Scott Aukerman]

The 1990s?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yes. My guy says they're from the 1990s.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, these look like just modern dental tools.

[Harley Booth Kid]

They're not, Scott. They're rusty and old and they've been in a box.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Look at that. I believe that's one of those things you put in your mouth that sucks all the saliva out. Scott, you ever had that happen to you? Having someone suck all the saliva out of your mouth?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, when I go to the dentist.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. He's got one of those tools right there.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just saying these aren't like antiques or anything. They're just like old, rusty dental tools.

[Harley Booth Kid]

All right. Okay, okay. You're not interested in the antique dental tools. Okay. How about these old bottle caps? These Coke bottle caps maybe?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, look at that, Scott. You could put that in one of your soda pops.

[Harley Booth Kid]

You could put them on a soda pop. You can make a belt out of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know a lot of people who are putting caps back on soda bottles.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah, you pop it off and then you put it right back on.

[Karen Gillan]

This doesn't attach.

[Scott Aukerman]

Killing me here.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I'm trying to make a deal with you, buddy. Trying to make.

[Scott Aukerman]

You only brought two things.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Well, I got tons of stuff. Hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what else do you have? What else do you. I'm sorry, I'm not interested in the first two things.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I got like a Victorian chair. Kind of like a nice Victorian old chair.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, Skaggy could sit on something like that.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Come on. It won't break. It won't break.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

It won't break. He says you sit on that. You sit up there nice and tall.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you swear this is an antique Victorian chair.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Antique? You only get antique stuff at flea market. It's nothing new.

[Scott Aukerman]

How old would you date this?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Gotta be a thousand years old.

[Scott Aukerman]

A thousand, thousand years old, Scott. Karen, do you know anything about antiques? I.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay, actually this is a bit of me, cuz I love antique furniture.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Okay. What do you think of this?

[Karen Gillan]

I think it's beautiful. And I will make an offer.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Really?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I would like your star. I would like your star in the sky for this chair.

[Karen Gillan]

You want Karen Gillan, the star.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Well, the physical star that you have up in the sky.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, it's called Karen Gillan.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Really?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Oh, that's hard because, like, I'm gonna die and no one's gonna remember Karen Gillen, the actress before you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Before you do this. I. I've been inspecting this chair and there's a little label on it that says Flush guards. This is from ikea.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, come on, Scott. There's got to be a good chair for my Kia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but these aren't Antiques.

[Harley Booth Kid]

There's an antique. He's been around for a hundred thousand years.

[Karen Gillan]

You liar. You're a liar. Yeah. I almost gave you my star.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Oh, Karen. No, no, no, no. Karen, don't. Please don't leave me like my family did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please.

[Karen Gillan]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I got something for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please don't leave him in a bucket of bolts.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Please don't leave me in a bucket of bolts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please.

[Karen Gillan]

I will.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, please.

[Karen Gillan]

I'm going to. Okay.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I got something for you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He's got something for you. Scott.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I got this. Antique, authentic scary clown painting.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Wow. Look at that. You can look at something like that.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Definitely not printed. Definitely antique.

[Karen Gillan]

I kind of like it.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's not. You say scary clown painting, it's like. It's not even really scary. It's more sad.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like he's sitting there in a. In a. Looks like he has a puddle of his own urine around his ankles and he's crying.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

It's bozo. After his show was canceled.

[Harley Booth Kid]

It's art. It's. It is bozo. You know, the. The early hundred year old show bozo.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Right. That's right.

[Harley Booth Kid]

And that makes it antique. And you know what? Beauty is in the eye of the sadness. Okay? So if you want it, you can take it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just take it.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Well, no, I need the star. Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Why do you need the star? What are you gonna do with it?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Because I need something to wish upon.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh.

[Harley Booth Kid]

To help me find my family and find where I belong.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. I didn't think of it that way. Karen. Maybe you should just give him your star.

[Karen Gillan]

I think I'm gonna give it to you without even taking the clown painting.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Thank you, Karen.

[Karen Gillan]

There you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, wait, wait. Before you do that. Are people allowed to wish on stars if it's not their own star?

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, maybe if I give permission.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, just give him. Don't give him the whole.

[Karen Gillan]

I'll give him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, just give him permission.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Just the wish. Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Do you need the coordinates?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah, yeah, sure. I don't want to aim wish upon a wrong star.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. Right. Here you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Sliding it across the table.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Gorgeous star. That's a gorgeous star.

[Scott Aukerman]

All she did was give you the coordinates and I can.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I know exactly which one this is. I know exactly which one.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Look at all this. You helping him. He never helped me once. Never did goddamn thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not playing your music.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Better press that. Better press that space button. Go on, press it.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, I'll press it once.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. You pressed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Well, Kitty, can we hear your. Your wish? Do you mind?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Dear Karen Gillan Star. I wish I could find my family, and I could go to the right farmer's market to find them. And I could move out of this Previa. Even though it's an incredible minivan, the bucket seats turn around and it'll never flip over because of how it's designed. And please, just let me find a place where I belong. I'm 23 years old. I need a home.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's just a baby.

[Harley Booth Kid]

What? How did you hear my wish? You were listening.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were talking out loud into the mic.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yes, I'm 23 years old. It's been a long life in the flea market.

[Scott Aukerman]

You look about 80. Well, I sleep in.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I sleep in boxes of bolts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, why still you own a Previa?

[Harley Booth Kid]

My body's used to it. My bone structure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's like those soldiers who come back from the war and they sleep in the backyard.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, don't bring up the war. I don't want to talk about it. What with all the killing and all the shooting and all that jazz.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, I'm sorry. We were listening, but you were talking very loudly into the mirrors.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's all right.

[Harley Booth Kid]

That's all right. I'm just going to have to keep hitting up a few flea markets, see if I find my family's booth.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? Do you remember anything about them? Maybe we've seen them.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I remember my dad. He was a pretty cool guy. He had a lot of denim jackets that he wore. That's what he saw. He had a beard. He was 4 foot 11. My mom, she had a beard. She was 6. 2. They. You know, they sold a lot of knickknacks. Patty Wax. Give a dog a bones.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I mean, when you first started talking, I. Huh? When you first. That gets a.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Was I talking? Sorry, I keep forgetting you're listening to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? Usually I'm saying all that. If you weren't answering my question, this is.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

This is.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I know. I'm usually talking to myself, you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're talking right now.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Am I? Is that what this is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, you are. Jesus.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I need a family.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Look, I don't know anyone by that description. The 411 part threw me. I thought originally you were talking about perhaps Henry Winkler or Fonzie, but I.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Don'T know what that is. I don't know who that is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you're only 23. Why would you. Yeah, I'm one of the last living people to know. Know what?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Fonzie was oh, Scott, don't talk about yourself like that, like some kind of old guy, some guy who's had a podcast for a hundred years. Don't talk about yourself like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't talk.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go on, press the space.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I will. I'm gonna go back to Harley Booth child over here.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah, Harley Booth kid. I'm no longer a child.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a kid now you're a booth kid. But maybe you could put out a plea here on Mike for them.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah, that's why I wanted to come on here today. Mom, dad, if you're out there, I'm gonna be at the, the, the, the, the grocery store farmer's market on Sunset.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why would the grocery store have a farmer's market?

[Harley Booth Kid]

The farmer's market's my world. That's how I identify and view all the world.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

[Harley Booth Kid]

You know, you're the grocery store farmer market. You walk in, it says Ralph's on front, and it's got different booths that are.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Sometimes they take all the produce, they put it outside for a farmer's market.

[Harley Booth Kid]

That's exactly right too.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, and that's like a waste of time.

[Harley Booth Kid]

They don't let me trade butchering there anymore. I feel like I'm losing my touch a little bit with the trading.

[Scott Aukerman]

Talk to your parents again.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Mom, are you listening to that? Why are you listening?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you're, you're saying your inner monologue out loud.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Well, you're. Okay, you're asking me to do things and say things, and I don't understand that that's talking. All right, mom and dad, if you're out there, I'm going to be at the grocery store farmers market all day tomorrow. I'm going to be doing deals, I'm going to be hitting up produce. I'm going to be sleeping in boxes. Okay. If you get out there and you're listening to this, please come get me. I'm in the previa.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's beautiful. And, and if you're out there listening also, go see Life of Chuck this.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Are people going to be listening to this?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Including hopefully your parents, right? Oh, I mean, okay.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah, hopefully.

[Scott Aukerman]

You seem confused by how everything in life works.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Well, I'm just. My life is farmer's markets. I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You never had parents, I guess.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Never had parents. I've had everything. Raised you.

[Scott Aukerman]

God, that breaks my heart.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Ah, it's okay. I'm the king. Self proclaimed.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you're really, you're not the king of the flea markets. You're just a poor, filthy orphan.

[Harley Booth Kid]

God damn it, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What the fuck?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Can I ask you something?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Please.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You ever buy things off other people? You know, things to sell later on?

[Harley Booth Kid]

By buying, do you mean trading? Absolutely.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Because I've got a ring for you. Take a look at this.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Holy guacamole. That's a nickname.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's a big old rock. That's right. Thank you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, where'd you get this ring? This is your husband's ring.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, I know what they're calling me out there, Scott. The minivan killer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Because I ran him over with a minivan.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Was it a previa?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

It was. It was a privia. You reminded me.

[Harley Booth Kid]

It's a great car. It'll never flip over.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where'd you get the previa?

[Harley Booth Kid]

I traded for it. I traded a bunch of globes for. Was a good, good trade. That's when I was in my prime, when I was 21.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

What can you get for. For this ring for me, huh?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Oh, I got all kinds of boys bottles. I got one bowling pin. I got silverware. I got. Your face Is not interested in any of this.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

No, no, no, not all that. I want something more special, something important. Come on.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I got a photo album. They're all very old. All these people are dead.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Sold.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yes.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

It's perfect. Scott, you take a look at this.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you get this photo album.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

All these people are dead. This is.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

They're not.

[Harley Booth Kid]

The photos aren't.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is from 2023.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Well, you gotta assume these people are dead.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Because it's two years later?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but what, did they. Everyone in here, die in a car accident or something? Why would. Why would you have this photo album?

[Harley Booth Kid]

They were all killed by the van killer. Oh, no. Recognize any of them?

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Karen Gillan]

All your victims?

[Scott Aukerman]

You killed all these people?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Well, come on now. I didn't kill all of them, just some of them.

[Karen Gillan]

And you took photos?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

The ones that were husbands? Huh?

[Karen Gillan]

You took photos of your victim?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is your photo album?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. I took a couple photos. What's the big old deal? Come on, we've all got iPhones now. Yeah, I went to CVS and got them printed out. Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

You taking photos? The excuse of we all have iPhones now doesn't make it better.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah, it took a couple of weeks for the them to print them and sure, then I had to go find a photo booth. Photo. Photo book printing place, which was very tough.

[Scott Aukerman]

And just go to Target.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Yeah, then I went ahead and put them in and I glued Them in. Sure, sure. But what's the big old deal? You got a problem with that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I do have. I mean, mainly with the killing. The photo of it just, you know, I mean, it's kind of gauche.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Scott, why. Why do women have husbands if not to kill him? You know what I'm talking about.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Amen.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. Karen.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Karen, you ever killed a husband?

[Karen Gillan]

Not yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you're a relative. Newlywed, though.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Silly little bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's time.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

There is time. Go ahead, press the space button.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I'm glad I got at least one deal down. The King is back on top.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the king. That's why we call you the King.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I'm the king.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you got this ring. I mean, that's an expensive. It's a. Looks like a wedding ring.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I could get another preview for this.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's a mermaid cut. That one.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Oh, is it from a dead guy?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Harley Booth Kid]

And it's gonna get me a pretty penny at the flea markets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Well, congratulations. This is incredible. Thank you. We haven't found your parents, but hopefully.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Were you listening to that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Oh, my God. I'm looking for my parents. I can't believe you were listening to that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, hopefully your parents are listening and, you know, hopefully they'll hear this. And next time you come back, we may have a happy ending here for you.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Please, I would love to come back.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love to have you back. But you know what? We are running out of time. Unfortunately, the only feature that we have time for right now is just a little something called plugs.

[Harley Booth Kid]

We got a new show. Time to plug the bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

So we know first you take the stage.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Thank you.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Plug the bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, nice. That was. Take the stage and plug the Bag by Charles Whitmore. Thanks to Charles Whitmore. If you have a Plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com plugs and upload it and you can be famous for a week. And Charles Whitmore, you are famous. Enjoy this week. This is the week of Life of Chuck. So great week to be famous. But speaking of life is Chuck, Karen, what do you want to plug here?

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, like projects.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, projects. Yeah. This is the plug bag. You can plug anything you like. Projects, you can plug loved ones, you can plug Happy.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go ahead, plug your husband. Come on now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Shall I plug my husband?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, go ahead. That would be great.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. How do you plug things? You just sort of describe them, I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never really thought about this existential question. Yeah, like, much like the ones in Life of Chuck.

[Karen Gillan]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

How does one plug things?

[Karen Gillan]

I don't know. Like, I. I mean, it's promoting, really, but, like. Like, yeah, okay. My husband's a nice man. I'm glad I married him.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could say, like, my husband is out there seven days a week.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, he's out there seven days a week working hard, working his fingers to the bone and.

[Scott Aukerman]

And being your husband and.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, just. Just, you know, directing a film. He's away. He's away directing?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is he directing? We can plug that.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, okay. It doesn't have a title yet, but it is filming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Karen Gillan]

So I think it's called the Pizza Movie right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Pizza Movie. This is a code for it, or will it be something like the Pizza Movie?

[Karen Gillan]

It's to do with pizza. Oh, is there, like, a real existing pizza movie?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, I just mean. I just mean sometimes you call a movie a different word.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, yes. Like chips. And it's nothing. Like, it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, chips was a movie, but.

[Karen Gillan]

But. Oh, okay. Well, Thor was code's. Code name was Chips when I. When I was Chips.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like the California Highway Patrols.

[Karen Gillan]

Like the fries.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see.

[Karen Gillan]

Chips.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Chips spelled the same way. Other than, I guess, chips. The California Highway Patrols is spelled capital C, capital H, lowercase I, capital P, lowercase S. Interesting. Anyway, look it up. Dax Shepard movie he directed.

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, I remember this movie. And Guardians of The Galaxy Volume 3 was called Pop Tart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

My movie was called Pineapple.

[Karen Gillan]

Pineapple.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

That's fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it was fun. And then we figured out no one cared, but. So that movie, the Pizza movies, is gonna be out on Hulu at some point. On Hulu. Fantastic. And then Life of Chuck obviously comes out this Friday in wide release. What else do we have going? Traitors Season Traitors 5. Maybe.

[Karen Gillan]

Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. I mean, I would like to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's put that out into the universe. Okay, I'll go on Traitors and what else is happening? What?

[Karen Gillan]

Probably make another Jumanji film.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Karen Gillan]

Ruby Roundhouse.

[Harley Booth Kid]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I forgot the first name that time.

[Karen Gillan]

So that'll be out next Christmas.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's fantastic. And then you're. Were you announced as one of the Avengers in the upcoming Avengers, or do you even know, like, what. What happens on that? Do they call you up one day and go like, hey, get your head over to Atlanta and we'll just wear whatever you want and we'll CGI your body?

[Karen Gillan]

Oh, no, I do four hours of makeup when I play that Role.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you really? Yeah, but they. You don't have to anymore. Well, with the cgi, they could just. They erase everything.

[Karen Gillan]

They can, but do they? No, but there is an argument for doing it practically. Yeah, you know, there. It still looks. Look slightly artificial with cgi.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. So. So. So when do you go back and do the next Avengers movies?

[Karen Gillan]

I don't know that I. I am. You sneak.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to break some news on this show. It's been so long since we broke news.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

God. The days where they played clips of the show on the Today show, when Zach Galifianak has complained about a certain Hollywood a lister who I long. Oh, I don't want to say first.

[Karen Gillan]

And last name.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Scott. Say it. Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

I long for those days again.

[Karen Gillan]

Well, you gotta say something controversial then.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Come on, Scott. Say something that'll get you in the news. Let's go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you gonna be in any of the Spider man movies? Any of the Sony Spider man movies? No.

[Karen Gillan]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. Grasping at straws here. We need to make news.

[Karen Gillan]

Okay. Yes, I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And are you playing like. Like Madame Web's sister or.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like Lady Web.

[Karen Gillan]

Lady Web. I'm playing Lady Webb. What are her powers? She can see the future, right? Madame Webb.

[Scott Aukerman]

Madame Web. That elegant lady can. She could see possible futures, I think.

[Karen Gillan]

And nurses Coca Cola for longer than anyone in the planet. Have you seen that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And then the entire, I believe, climax of the movie is set next to a Coca Cola sign, I think.

[Karen Gillan]

What are these Coca Cola images all about? Like, what does it symbolize, I wonder?

[Scott Aukerman]

What could this be about?

[Karen Gillan]

What was this filmmaker's choice?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I mean, it was a brave, audacious choice from a filmmaker, but. So life of Chuck, though, that's the most important thing that'll be in theaters this Friday, and you do great work in it. And let's move on to Kitty Saint Beauregard. What? What do you want to plug, Scott?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

What do I want to plug? Is that what you asked?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Is that what you want me to do? Go ahead and plug something important?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Well, I don't know. I guess I should plug my husband after all. You know what they're calling me out there, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

The. Well, no, I don't.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

They're calling me the J. Crew Killer.

[Scott Aukerman]

J. Crew killer, that's right.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Cause he was wearing J. Crew when he died. Dressed head to toe in J. Crew.

[Scott Aukerman]

Head to toe. Toe.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Head to toe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a hat. Does make Shoes.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

They make shoes? Sometimes. For women, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So why was he wearing it?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

He was wearing a pair of flats. Ballet flats. Scott, when he went. Got died on that squatty potty, wrapped in that ruggable rug.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fell on the rug.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Fell on the rug.

[Scott Aukerman]

It rolled.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Rolled into the minivan, toppled over. I'd like to plug CBB World, Scott. You've heard of it, haven't you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I run it.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

What, you listen to it in your little ears or whatever?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not really. Usually making the shows.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I like a couple of shows on there which changed my life. Going deep. Hey, Randy. Never heard of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard of all those. Yeah. What about the other?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

They're pretty good.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about Scott? Hasn't seen you like that one.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Okay, I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to break me down. It won't happen. It's not going to happen. Not no way, no how.

[Scott Aukerman]

And do you want to plug anything? Like deli boys or.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, sure, Plug Deli Boys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Just gemstones. What else? What else? Not. Not much else.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, all right. Harley Booth kid, what do you want to plug?

[Harley Booth Kid]

Oh, I got lots of plugs. I'm gonna be plugging different farmers markets in the next few days. I'm gonna be at the grocery store farmer's market. I'm gonna be at the Targus farmer market. I'm going to be at the gas station farmers market.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are just places you're going. Yep, yep.

[Harley Booth Kid]

And they're going to be good farmers markets to go to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I do want to plug. There's a great farmers theater farmers market called the Groundlings Theaters. Farmers market. And there's a show going on there called Glow in the Dark Groundlings. It's a great farmer's market. Lots of trades. You're going to laugh. You're trading laughs for laughs, and then it's a good time.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're trading money for show and then trading laughs for laughs.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Yeah, that's how it does it. That's flea market.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, like, is it guaranteed if you go and laugh, the performers will laugh as many times as anyone in the.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Absolutely. That's what makes it such a great show. By the end, you're all just laughing. And it's not even a show.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would enjoy a show like, you.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Just forget why you're there.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's great. Great. Well, I want to plug. Look, you know, Kitty Saint Beauregard said it. Head over to CBB World. It's great over there. You can get every single episode of this show ad free. The entire archive, as well as every live episode we've ever done, as well as new shows like the aforementioned. Hey, Randy. And this book will change or save your life.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I don't even know what it is, to be honest with you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

And off book, what is the one you do?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Going deep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Going deep. Yeah, off book.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

My God, he's getting white women confused again.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's easy to do. And Scott hasn't seen my show where I review movies that I haven't seen yet. And we have the Collegetown, the neighborhood. Listen, so many great shows over there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. All right, that was Rosie and the Trucks by Heavens Jam Band. A lot of expensive samples in that, but we're willing to pay for them.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

You know how hard it is to have a perfectly placed fart sound, Scott? That was perfectly placed.

[Scott Aukerman]

No notes on that, thanks to them. Thanks so much to Heaven's Jam Band for that. And I want to thank our guest, Karen. So wonderful to have you on the show for the first time.

[Karen Gillan]

Thank you so much for having me.

[Scott Aukerman]

And good luck with all of your projects going forward and with this one in particular. And I want to see the pizza movie. This sounds intriguing. It's gonna be on Hulu.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, I mean, I'm not in it, but. Why aren't you in it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because your husband's directing. What's going on with that?

[Karen Gillan]

Well, it's set in college. I'm a wee bit old. I don't think I'm passing for college now.

[Scott Aukerman]

I couldn't even get it out of my mouth.

[Karen Gillan]

No, you tried sounding like a liar.

[Scott Aukerman]

I tried. I try. I attempt to do. I said the first couple of words.

[Karen Gillan]

You were. I. I appreciate the impulse you had.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I think he should have put you in it. I don't care how old you look. He should put you in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why couldn't you be a teacher?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Come on, now. We could.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah, actually. Or. Or maybe, like, what's ra.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Resident advisor.

[Karen Gillan]

Yeah. Though I keep hearing that. And I don't know what that is, but it sounds like it could be.

[Scott Aukerman]

A weird old person who hangs around with the college who answers all the questions.

[Karen Gillan]

That's me.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you say, Harley?

[Harley Booth Kid]

I said, that's you.

[Karen Gillan]

The weird old person that hangs her head.

[Harley Booth Kid]

I'm 23.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know we're listening to you right now?

[Harley Booth Kid]

What? Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what this is? Yeah, this is a podcast. Well, thank you, Harley. Great to meet you.

[Harley Booth Kid]

You're welcome.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Kitty Saint Beauregard, I want to thank You.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Of course you do, Scott. I knew you were gonna thank me the moment I walked in here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's. Yeah, it's polite to thank a podcast guest.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Go on, say something else nice about me, why don't you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, for all of your faults, you seem to be a mass murderer who takes pictures of your victims.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been an entertaining guest.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, that's sweet. Hey, why don't you pour some of this Powerade into a bowl and we could both slurp it up like little kitties together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just this syrup that you've made out of this powder aide.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I boiled it down. Come on now, you know you want to sip.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I really don't want to. Get on the floor. Oh, okay, I guess.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Get on the floor. Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, you want us to just lick this up like little kitties, and.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Then I want you to go use that litter box over there. They call me the litter box Killer, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I feel like you're gonna kill me if I get into my litter box.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, come on now. I wouldn't kill someone like you unless you were married to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want to get married?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Sure I do, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Karen, are you a universal life church minister by any chance?

[Karen Gillan]

I actually am.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you mind marrying us here?

[Karen Gillan]

Okay, but are you sure you're gonna be okay? Cause all of her ex husbands are dead.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

I promise I won't do a thing, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

She promises. Karen, you know I love her.

[Harley Booth Kid]

Does this mean I have to give the ring back?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That's right. Give it back now. Perfect.

[Karen Gillan]

All right. I now pronounce you husband.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that all it is? Wow, it's so easy.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Come on now, Scott. Come for a little kiss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, gosh. That's enough.

[Harley Booth Kid]

It's.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Oh, he got too close.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was hot.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Was it?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was. I mean, for me, that was super hot.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

That was fine. It was just fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they lived happily ever after, right?

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Sure, Scott. Sure they did. Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bye. Parents of tweens, if you're familiar with far off drop offs. Dad, stop. Stop.

[Karen Gillan]

Stop right here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or get DMs about what's for dinner. You may be experiencing tween milestones for your son or daughter. These can start at age 9. HPV vaccination, a type of cancer prevention against. Against. Certain HPV related cancers can start then too.

[Karen Gillan]

For most, HPV clears on its own.

[Scott Aukerman]

But for those who don't clear the virus, it can cause certain cancers later in life. Embrace this phase. Help protect them in the next.

[Karen Gillan]

Ask their doctor today about HPV vaccination.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

Brought to you by Merck how many.

[Scott Aukerman]

Discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi vehicle discount Safe driver discount, New vehicle discount Storage discount.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usaa.com autodiscounts Rest restrictions apply. Look around.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can find cars like these on autotrader, like that car riding your tail. Or if you're tailgating right now, all those cars doubling as kitchens and living rooms are on autotrader too. Are you working out and listening to.

[Kitty Saint Beauregard]

This ad at the same time?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, multitasking pro cars like the ones in the gym parking lot are for sale on autotrader. New cars, used cars, electric cars, maybe even flying cars. Okay, no flying cars. But as soon as they get invented it, they'll be on autotrader. Just you wait. Auto Trader.