May The Labubu Be With You (Mike Mitchell, Sean Diston, Patty Guggenheim)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Comedy Bang Bang: May The Labubu Be With You (Mike Mitchell, Sean Diston, Patty Guggenheim)
Release Date: July 28, 2025
Host/Author: Scott Aukerman and Earwolf
Guests: Mitch Mitchell, Yoda, Deb (Energy Reader)

---

Introduction and Welcome [01:26 - 04:06]

Scott Aukerman kicks off the episode with his signature humor, setting the stage for a "holistic" show featuring a spiritual advisor and an energy reader. He introduces Mitch Mitchell, co-host of the popular "Doughboys" podcast, marking his second appearance on "Comedy Bang Bang." Mitch joins the "exclusive two timers club," highlighting his ongoing relationship with the show.

Notable Quote:
Scott Aukerman [02:07]:
"Red sky at morning. Sailors warning red sky at night. And you might just be dealing with a permanently red sky."

Mitch Mitchell’s Career and Projects [04:07 - 12:04]

Scott and Mitch dive into Mitch's career highlights, starting with his role in "The Tomorrow War." They discuss how the pandemic impacted the movie's reception, with Mitch humorously lamenting, “I think that Tomorrow War is more fun than people. I wish it was on a big screen.” The conversation shifts to Mitch’s involvement in "Twisted Metal" season two, set to premiere on Peacock, and his work with "The Birthday Boys," a seminal sketch group.

Notable Quote:
Mitch Mitchell [05:10]:
"It's like ballistic. I'm baffled."

Behind the Scenes of "Doughboys" [12:05 - 25:04]

The discussion moves to the dynamics within "Doughboys." Mitch recounts past conflicts with a co-host, and Scott reminisces about trying to mediate on air:
Scott Aukerman [06:02]:
"I came in during the cool down, but then we did the episode and it came up on the episode."

They touch upon the departure of a co-host and the arrival of new talent like Patty Guggenheim and Stephanie Beatriz, highlighting the show's evolution over its 16-year run.

Notable Quote:
Mitch Mitchell [10:37]:
"I love the guy. And that was the nadir."

Special Appearance: Yoda as Spiritual Advisor [33:00 - 55:39]

In a surreal twist, Yoda joins the show as a spiritual advisor. Scott engages Yoda in a humorous discussion about the Star Wars universe, including plot spoilers and character insights. Their banter covers topics like Yoda’s role in recent Star Wars films and the implications of script changes.

Notable Quote:
Yoda [45:15]:
"Rey will travel back in time using the world between worlds."

Mitch and Yoda debate the impact of these changes, with Yoda humorously exaggerating potential spoiler scenarios:
Yoda [46:06]:
"She will spoil it for Luke."

Energy Reading Segment with Deb [56:02 - 80:43]

Deb, an energy reader, takes center stage to analyze the auras of Scott and Mitch. She describes Mitch’s aura with a mix of colors: deep orange, green, yellow, blue, and silver. The segment is filled with playful misunderstandings and comedic interpretations of mystical insights.

Notable Quote:
Deb [62:58]:
"There’s a lot of colors."

A humorous moment ensues when Deb predicts Mitch's peculiar demise:
Deb [73:06]:
"You live to be 104."

Plugs and Promotions [80:44 - 90:43]

The episode transitions into a series of comedic promotional segments. Scott and Mitch promote "Twisted Metal" season two on Peacock, while Yoda and Deb engage in absurd advertisements for services like energy readings and streaming bundles. The playful promotions maintain the show's irreverent and whimsical tone.

Notable Quote:
Scott Aukerman [87:35]:
"Twisted Metal comes out this Thursday. Shout out to Michael Jonathan. SM created the show."

Closing Remarks [90:44 - End]

Scott wraps up the episode with final plugs and humorous exchanges among the guests. The closing moments feature a chaotic yet entertaining search for Yoda’s missing wallet, blending slapstick humor with ongoing character antics.

Notable Quote:
Yoda [84:36]:
"Disney plus premium 15.99."

---

Highlights:

• Mitch Mitchell’s Insights: Mitch shares behind-the-scenes anecdotes from "The Tomorrow War," "Twisted Metal," and "Doughboys," offering fans a deeper look into his career and the dynamics of podcast co-hosting.

• Yoda’s Humor: The iconic character Yoda brings an unexpected comedic flair, spoofing Star Wars lore and engaging in humorous plot spoilery with Mitch and Scott.

• Energy Reading Fun: Deb’s energy reading segment adds a mystical yet comedic layer, with playful predictions and colorful aura descriptions that entertain and amuse the audience.

• Absurd Promotions: The episode maintains "Comedy Bang Bang’s" signature humor through outlandish product and show promotions, keeping listeners engaged and laughing.

Notable Quotes:

• Scott Aukerman [07:12]:
  "You're joining the exclusive two timers club."

• Yoda [34:18]:
  "I am in the new Disney Star Wars."

• Deb [61:08]:
  "So I'll read their energies, colors, auras, palms, you know, just books, if you have them."

• Yoda [45:15]:
  "Rey will travel back in time using the world between worlds."

Conclusion:

This episode of "Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast" masterfully blends candid interviews, character-driven humor, and surreal interactions. Mitch Mitchell’s candid stories about his podcasting journey, coupled with the unexpected appearance of Yoda and an energetic reading session with Deb, create a rich tapestry of comedy that both entertains and engages listeners. The episode concludes with a flurry of humorous plugs and a chaotic quest for a missing wallet, perfectly encapsulating the show's unique blend of wit and whimsy.

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the main content segments, excluding advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the guidelines.

Transcript

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[Mitch Mitchell]

I need a coffee.

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[Scott Aukerman]

Red sky at morning. Sailors warning red sky at night. And you might just be dealing with a permanently red sky. Thank you very much to AA Rizzle Dick Drizzle for that catchphrase submission. Oh, thanks so much and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Auman and we have an exceptional show coming up a little later. We have a spiritual advisor and we also have an energy reader. So very holistic show today, for lack of a better word. Although I'm sure better words exist for it. But for lack of me not knowing a better word in the moment.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Don't look at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't look at you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not gonna look at you the entire show. Is that okay? Let's do this back to back. I've never done an episode back to back with someone.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Perfect. Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love to do that. First. Before we get to them, let's get to our guest of honor.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

He is making his. I'm gonna have a second appearance on the show. I don't know.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Second? Well, I. I have you though. Me as me. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

This appearance.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're. You're joining the exclusive two timers club.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I can't believe it. First. First time here was for the pandemic classic the Tomorrow War as myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

I remember that. That was a huge deal. You got cast in it.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was gonna. It was gonna be life changing for you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then. Did anyone watch it?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I. Who knows? It's the fun thing of a pandemic movie. No one knows.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wanted to. Yeah, I really did. Is it worth even going back to it at this point?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I think that Tomorrow War is more fun than people. I wish it was on a big screen. Would it have been a box office failure on the big screen?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. It was a great concept and I wanted to see you in it. And then it just. Pandemic got me too down. You know what I mean?

[Mitch Mitchell]

But I mean, that was the issue. I think a lot of people didn't want to see an alien invasion movie during.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know we're too busy coughing and wheezing. But now you're back.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Because I'm back, baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Season two of a little show called Twisted Metal is coming out. The first three episodes are coming out on Peacock this Thursday.

[Mitch Mitchell]

This Thursday. Many honks to you all.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Many honks to everyone. I don't know what that means. I guess that's a horn because the show's about cars. Is that what it is?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, that's where my brain was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Many honks to you and many honks to him. Please welcome back Mike. Mitch Mitchell.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Thank you. Thank you for having me here on a very holistic show.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard it is. There's no other way to describe it as far as I'm concerned. But Mitch, it's great to have you back joining the exclusive two timers club.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It's great to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Twisted Metal first, let's go backwards in your career. We started in media res.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, sorry, we went too far back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's go even further back. Oh, no, it's sea sperm. No, you. Many people know you, of course, as one of the sketch members of seminal sketch group the Birthday Boys.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Good thing I don't know what seminal means because I don't know if that's an insult or what the deal is.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I can't quite tell.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It's like ballistic. I'm baffled.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you were a member of the Birthday Boys, which had approximately 28 white men in the cast.

[Mitch Mitchell]

A show that would surely be made in today's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, what was the audition process? Was it like you saw a person of color and said no, no, no, no. Or was it just like you and your friends basically started a sketch group.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Let me say this. There was there the seventh member that was almost another member that was also a white guy, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

But the Birthday Boys was.

[Mitch Mitchell]

On your very radio show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Back when you were on radio with Mark Marone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's ending his tenure on wtf.

[Mitch Mitchell]

When you see the podcasters retiring, what do you. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. Do you want to. Do you want to make a lateral move? And instead of being the co host of Doughboys, you could be the sole host of wtf.

[Yoda]

Wow.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Wtf with Mike Mitchell.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's a double M. That's the only requirement. Double M name.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Welcome back, Mr. Obama. Now, first things first, you'd never get into the birthday boys.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is something, by the way. Also, Mitch is the co host of the Doughboys podcast. Podcast I've been happy to be on for a good three.

[Mitch Mitchell]

We gotta have you back. You just told me a great idea for a return visit.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm gonna be coming back. Last time I was on, I came in at the tail end of a huge fight between you and the other co host. And that episode was released, the one I was on.

[Mitch Mitchell]

But that was as bad as it got between my co host and I. It was. I forgot that you were.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I tried to sort of broker the disagreement between you a little bit on the air.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You were much needed. Well, first of all, Eva Anderson was the guest right before you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And we never released that episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. I saw her. I was parking and she was coming out and she gave me a look of like, oh, boy. And I wondered what was. Because, you know Eva, another writer on the comedy Bang Bang television show, we've known each other for a while and usually she would stop to chat, but she was in a hurry to get out of there.

[Mitch Mitchell]

She was. And also a person who was very loving and was trying her hardest to make us. And when you came in, we had cooled down over the course of the year.

[Scott Aukerman]

I came in during the cool down, but then we did the episode and it came up on the episode. And I tried to, I don't know, give you some perspective, but as little as I have.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Here's the thing. You doing your show, being the maverick, the solo host, that's the way to do it. That's what you should do.

[Scott Aukerman]

I honestly think that Nyga Iger. Oh, no. Never getting into the birthday twice. Oh, boy.

[Yoda]

I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that his nickname? Should it be? I mean, it's N Weger. It's. It's like a Brangelina, right?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'll never attempt to say it, but I believe so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, dear. Nick Weger. He's the weak link, isn't he?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, yeah. 100% of a weak chain.

[Scott Aukerman]

But.

[Mitch Mitchell]

As you know, a writer on your show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. For Many a season.

[Mitch Mitchell]

A true genius. Well, it's coming for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, he wrote probably the most favorite sketch of anyone on that show. He wrote the man crave. Mancrave. Man gave.

[Yoda]

God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why can't I talk to the man cave?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whichever. Everyone constantly, like, re. Shares every year.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He's. I mean, I would say both of us difficult people, maybe in our own ways. I don't know. When, like, when he was writing at your show, was he like, playing solitaire? Was he doing, like, like, like, I don't know, 30 different tasks?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I don't know if he ever even spoke.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, that's possible. Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Someone had to tell me he was a writer later. I don't know. But. But I don't know. You're. I mean. Yeah. I mean, you're probably. Everyone's a difficult person, though.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. I mean, I love the guy. And that was. That was the. That was the.

[Scott Aukerman]

The nadir.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, the nadir. Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That got me nervous too.

[Scott Aukerman]

For whatever reason, America's become too woke. We can't say anything these days. Not even French words, but a French word.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He, he, he. We're both difficult guys. I think people want us to retire like Marin, basically. I think they want us to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, people love the dough boys.

[Mitch Mitchell]

10 years. Are you 15 years?

[Scott Aukerman]

16 at this point.

[Mitch Mitchell]

16 years. Yeah. What do you. What, what do you think?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the off ramp?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, yeah. What's the offer?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just trying to grind it out till 20. I don't give a. Anymore. I'm having Mike Mitchell on the show. He's. He's in the two timers club.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You have to put all this in the email, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I don't give a shit. I'm having you on the show again. But the things are going. We've. We've. Since that episode. Here's the crazy thing, because I feel like you were just on. That was 100 episodes again.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was two. It was two years.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Two years ago. Wow. Yeah, we. We just did our 500th episode. We went on tour. Nick doesn't like to tour. He doesn't like to travel, which I get. Like, that's not a family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Feels disingenuous to say family when it's just a wife.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He has three video game consoles. I mean, that's close enough.

[Scott Aukerman]

When I say family, I mean a wife and another podc. He probably prefers.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He does. He very much prefers it over Over Doughboys. But we've been on a good streak at.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's good. You know, sometimes something like that can bring people closer together.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I think so, yeah. I mean, like, still, I wanted to kill him, you know, that's okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think. I think you people can get into arguments and as. And it's sometimes better than just letting a grudge just fester.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Fester. I knew that one from the Adams fan.

[Yoda]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's. That's how I. That's how I know most my words. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It. The other words.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's a great man, and I don't know if he wants to be in show business. That's. But he's very funny, and that's what I always say to him.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think he should come on this show and. And defend himself or. And talk about you?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I. I don't. I don't even. I don't even consider this talking.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is not talking.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I think. I think he would agree with me on a lot of this stuff. I think he does. I don't think he wants to. To do. I think he was very much questioning whether he wanted to do show business. And I said to him, like, you got. There's nothing else you got going on, kind of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you remember when you guys, the birthday boys, taped your. Your pilot in front of a live audience and he did the warmup, and I didn't even know it was him. I. I knew it was someone doing a fake thing, but he did a fake warmup guy and had to do. Then he. He had planned on doing like a half hour.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it turned into four or something.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, Yes. I believe it was. It was. I mean, there was a lot of Bob breaking things down. Mom. And all that stuff, and it ended up being about four hours long.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I gotta say, he knocked it out of the park.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's so funny.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He was so. He was so funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Funny guy. Good podcast.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Have him in here. Have him talk shit about me. He'd love to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would. You know, he should do a response show.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, I. I would. I would. I would love that.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Doughboys, of course, can be found wherever. Podcasts. Wherever you get your podcast.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Wherever you get your podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. And. But we're here to talk about something.

[Mitch Mitchell]

A little more twisted.

[Scott Aukerman]

Something a tad more twisted. Maybe 9% more twisted. Twisted is back, baby. This is the television show that's been sweeping the nation. It's out on Peacock, the first season entirely out on Peacock. And now the second season, the first three episodes coming out this Thursday, take me through twisted metal like I'm some dumb fucking idiot who doesn't know shit about dick.

[Mitch Mitchell]

All right. I can do this. I can do this. The PlayStation 1 video game console.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm out. Who am I, Nick Weiger?

[Mitch Mitchell]

There was a. There was a game, which I have. I just. On Doughboys recently said that it's age. It kind of sucks to play. Now, Is that. Is that mean to say? I was looking at.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it because the. It's hard to difficult to play because of how rudimentary it is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It's aged. You know, it's aged poorly, I guess, in time. But. But not like the. The story and all that stuff is very fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just America's so wokeness.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. That's the issue. You never have half these characters anymore. But it's. It's. It was a. You know, like a bunch of crazy characters in a battle royale, like kind of racer game where you would kill. Shoot missiles at each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's. It's. You would race cars while shooting at people.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. I didn't have a. I wasn't a PlayStation kid. I was a Nintendo kid. So I didn't. I didn't play. But my friends had it and I saw it and everyone knew it because of the clown. Sweet tooth. Youth. Which is the. You know, he's. The.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a character who's a clown.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. And his name is. Well, his name is. I don't.

[Yoda]

What's his name?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Something. I'm looking at our producer to figure out what the. His name is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kane.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Something. Kane. Marcus Kane. Needles, Cane.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'm gonna have some. The.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm looking at the Wikipedia on this. I can't find any information.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The Twisted Metal subreddit's gonna be so mad at me. Which is the same 12 guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think it's important as an actor to know the names of the other characters in a scene? Or you could probably just like. Unless you have to call one of them the name.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who gives a shit? Like, just take that out of your brain space. Who needs to know the names of the other people?

[Mitch Mitchell]

They try to have me overlap with the least amount of actors possible.

[Scott Aukerman]

So a lot of monologues behind the wheel. But that's the thing. In Twisted Metal, you guys are driving cars.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cars only fit four people, maybe five at a time. So it's like, you know, normally you're just driving it by yourself. Like you're going down to the 7:11 to get, you know, I don't know, a Big Gulp. Eggs. What do you got at 7:11?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Big open eggs. Always. That's my. That's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been into one of those things I missed probably. Probably a decade.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You haven't been into a 711 is my. Maybe my favorite grocery store.

[Scott Aukerman]

I went to one in Tokyo actually. That's.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And they're very.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or in. In Thailand, actually. In Thailand. And, and there. And it's like where people mainly shop that.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It's. They're, they're, they're. They're very. I've heard that they are the. The. In Japan. The, the 711 lemons are very nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they are very nice.

[Mitch Mitchell]

711 day just recently where you can get a free Slurpee and I missed it and it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to save that one. 29.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The embarrassing thing of a 40 something man walking in to get his free Slurpee. Free Slurpee. So I skipped it this year. I didn't do it this year. Yes. There's a lot of crazy characters and we're behind the wheel a lot. Which leads to a lot of monologues that you're going. I was. I was in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who do you play?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I play stuff of Mike and Stu fame, which in season one, at the end of the season, you see Sweet Tooth come in and slash up my buddy Mike and then pull me off into the distance. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pull you off into the distance like he masturbates you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, yeah, yeah. He pulls me off of the distance. It was very far shot.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a weird fucking show, but I gotta check it out.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And we did that practically. Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

No cgi.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No CGI involved.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I was begging for it. But yes, I drove a lot with Sweet Tooth Stu because I'm so low. And you see now that this is not a spoiler because in the trailers you've seen that Stu is still alive. So I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And Sweet Tooth Stu. What. What are we talking about?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Sweet Tooth is the clown.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sweet Tooth is the clown.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. And he is played by Samoa Joe, professional wrestler Samoa Joe.

[Scott Aukerman]

And his is. His voice is Will Arnett, though.

[Mitch Mitchell]

His voice is Will Arnett. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And shouldn't it be reversed? You know what? I think Will Arnett should be the body and Samoa Joe should be the voice. I agree.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's out there hawking credit cards.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I will also, I'll say this, Will Arnett, iconic.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love him. Love him. Iconic guy. Worked with him a couple of times. He's the best.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Our great credit card salesman. Has an iconic voice and does a great job. And then also. But it is that sort of thing of. When I was doing scenes with Joe. No one will scare me more than a professional wrestler screaming in my face. I mean, Joe. Joe is so.

[Scott Aukerman]

He actually screamed. He's not just supposed to mime everything.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He is. He's not only is he acting, he's acting like phenomenally.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He's great. He's so great.

[Scott Aukerman]

His voice.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Then I'm not sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who do I gotta talk to about this?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Maybe Will Arnett. I have no idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Will, you're fired. Could I fire Will Arnett?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I give you permission podcaster to podcaster.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're fired.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It's his podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mount Podmore.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Mount Podnort. You, me, and then all the smartless guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. And then you guys munching on burgers behind us.

[Mitch Mitchell]

We're visiting. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so we also have. Who else is in this? Oh, well, of course, Anthony Mackie is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Anthony Mackie is the.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Falcon slash Captain America himself.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I did a great job with Anthony Mackie. Where we were talking about Thomas Hayden Church being in the first season. The Sandman. The Sandman. I swear to God.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. Adam Sandler. I was just thinking about Adam Sandler. I wanted to bring him up.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You remembered that Happy Gilmore 2 is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Coming out around the same time.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I think it is very close to. We're very upset about it. So he. He called me. I'll tell you two stories. He called me and I tried to talk him into doing doughboys. And he talked to me for a full hour.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Mackie.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No, this is Thomas Hayden.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is Thomas. You tried to talk Thomas Hayden Church, who's reticent to do any press or even roles.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And he said yes to doing it. And then the strikes happened and he could not come up.

[Yoda]

Oh.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And so Thomas Hayden Church was gonna do. And he talked to me. I was like, oh, I'm just gonna call. It was my mom's anniversary. My dad's passed away. We're gonna go out to dinner. And I thought it would be a 15 minute call. He talked to me for like an hour and 20 minutes. I love.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's so great. Sideways. He's like everything else. Wings.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He's like, I got. I got to bring my daughter to college. He's like saying all this stuff to me. It was great. And then at the end he said, hey, tell your mom. The Sandman said, happy anniversary. That's what he said at the end of the call, which was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Then your mom was like, adam Sandler, happy anniversary.

[Mitch Mitchell]

This is like, no, Thomas Hannah Church. She went, oh, she was upset about.

[Scott Aukerman]

It, but he's not in season two now.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He, he, he, he, he was killed at the end of last season. I'm so sorry. Yes, I know. I was very upset. I, I, I truly love Thomas. He was, he was, he was great. But he, So I was saying to Mackie on set this year, I was like, thomas Hayden Church was so great. And you know, I was like, I was like, you know, like, he should have won an Academy Award for Sideways, right? And I was like, who won it? And I looked it up and it was what's his name? From Million Dollar Baby?

[Scott Aukerman]

Clint Eastwood.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No, no, from God. Morgan Freeman for Million, For a Million Dollar Baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want to say that around Anthony Mackie.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Well, I was like, Thomas should have like Million Dollar Baby that movie. And like Morgan Freeman should win for a million things, a great actor. But I was like, I was like, Thomas Hayden shirt should have, should have won. Like no one cares about Million Dollar Baby. And I was like, have you ever worked with Clint Eastwood? And he's like, yeah. And I was like, what movie? He's like, million dooll Baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I was like.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And then he just was laughing at me. He, he did not, he, he's, he's, he's did not care. He was very funny about stuff that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that one of the most embarrassing things?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I mean, I'm as, you know, up.

[Scott Aukerman]

There with me calling Nick Niger.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I am as, you know, as you have known me now for many years. I just am constantly embarrassing myself. I was wondering if I've been from our first Marc Maron visit, if I've become any less nervous since you've. Around Marc Maron around Marc Marin. So I guess I shouldn't be asking.

[Scott Aukerman]

You this, but yeah, I don't know.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The birthday was, came in and we were actually, we were, the gag was that we were like the airheads.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, you were, you were taking this is, this is like episode. This is when we were still.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Was it on the radio?

[Scott Aukerman]

It was on the radio. It must have been in the first 50 or so episodes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

So I couldn't drop a single F bomb. I'm guessing at that point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Actually it was Internet only radio at the time, but they didn't want me to curse. And then I believe a couple comedians came in and immediately said the C word. And they were like, ah, they're famous. Who cares?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Dave Ferguson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

So Samoa Joe is, was, was the guy Who I was with a lot of the time. But a lot of very, very funny people on the show. Patty Guggenheim is on the show. Lisa Gilroy, Stephanie Beatriz, Stephanie Beatrice. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who has a number one. Number one single.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I believe she is the. She's the with what? With the family madrigal or Bruno thing. Oh, we don't talk about Bruno.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we never talk about Bruno anymore. What's wrong with us?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I just watched encanto the other day because I hadn't seen it, but go ahead. I hadn't seen it. And she. Stephanie came in and recorded doughboys, was like, I'm going to watch this before she comes in to record doughboys. Because she's been very mad at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

For not watching, for not seeing it.

[Mitch Mitchell]

For not seeing the movie. And I. By the time she tried to track.

[Scott Aukerman]

Down every single person who hasn't watched.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That movie because everyone seen it, that's her mission. There's only a few of us left, but I. By the time the show started, I had a half hour left. So I didn't finish the. I didn't finish the movie. She was mad at me again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds a lot like me. With season one and two of twisted metal, of course, which comes out this Thursday. Season two and tomorrow War.

[Mitch Mitchell]

We gotta get you on the. We gotta get you streaming, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta watch all of your stuff. Watched Love, of course. You were very funny on the Paul Russ Netflix show. Love.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. Great job. They did.

[Scott Aukerman]

And along with Claudia.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, the best.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Gillion. Gilly and twisted metal, though it's coming out now and it's basically like post apocalyptic future.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It'd be weird to be a pre apocalyptic future, right? Yeah, I guess we're just like the last thing you see is just a nuclear bomb going off on the last episode and everyone dies. Like, we don't know. The Simpsons might be a pre apocalyptic future.

[Mitch Mitchell]

They've been building that for 20.

[Yoda]

Years.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I worked over there. I should have gotten into some of the hidden planes. That's right.

[Yoda]

You were.

[Scott Aukerman]

You worked at the Simpsons. You ran lunches, right?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I. Yes, I ran a very important job.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mind you, I was a lunch to the Simpsons office. Incredibly important.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Very, very important. But that is the thing. I mean, like, I, I was, I was talking about this recently. I was like, I was an assistant to the writers over the Simpsons and the person I was talking to was correcting me. I was like, so that's very different from a writer's assistance. I was like, yes, I got like 100 yogurts every week. And that was the end of my job. Like, that was. That was it. But I did. I highlighted scripts and I did what for the Simpsons? For the voice. For the voice actors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. So like, Dan Castellaneta comes and you highlight.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I was highlighting all of his lines. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Word search. Dough.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Actually, annoyed grunt is what it is in the script.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it really?

[Mitch Mitchell]

It is. It's annoyed grunt in the script. And then I said they should just write doe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are they standing on ceremony at this point? Just write doe into the fucking script.

[Mitch Mitchell]

They should write doe into the script.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did write dough into the scripts because Nick Weger and I were in an episode of the Simpsons.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. The dough boys.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The dough boys were in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were right there.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it's always fascinating to me that shows like that will make fun of a show like mine but not ask me to do it. Nick Kroll has this show. What's his show called? The animated show.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He has the crazy teen show, Crazy teens. Big mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big mouth.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No one. No one was. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

He fucking draws me in it and then doesn't let me do the voice. What is going on with this guy?

[Mitch Mitchell]

He's got to get you in there. And the show is over.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe the show's over. Now.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Can they do one bonus segment?

[Scott Aukerman]

He should have drawn David Caruso in it and then had me do the voice.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Does Caruso do you.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no. He swears that. Because it's a drawing of me and Paul F. Tompkins and he swears it's supposed to be a drawing of David Caruso and Dennis Franz. I think.

[Mitch Mitchell]

What is going on in Hollywood with all this voice replacement?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is happening in Hollywood these days? You're the perfect person to talk to about this because Twisted metal comes out this Thursday. Yes. And anything you want to tell the fans about what you're up to in this season?

[Mitch Mitchell]

It's bigger this year. Not me. Well, me too, actually. I am. I did really, size wise, I did get a little bit bigger.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have Jason Manzoukas. We have Chloe Feynman.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Both gone season two. Not in season two. Spoiler alert. Gone. They were in season one and they were very funny. But this year it's bigger. The action is crazier. We got a lot of funny. A lot of funny people coming in this season. You're gonna. And like I said, Lisa Gilroy, Patty Guggenheim. Who else?

[Scott Aukerman]

Anthony Kerrigan.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Anthony Kerrigan.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, Metamorpho himself.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I mean Metamorpho himself. Is there. He's. And he's great as Calypso. Jono Wilson is in there. It's. It's. It's a blast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Johnson. I know everybody. Andre Kim. I should just list them all off. They're all really. We.

[Scott Aukerman]

We gotta check out Richard Clerk.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Want me to keep going? Mike Shaw?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not in the slightest.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay. Right. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it. The. The season two comes out this Thursday. Three episodes that day, then two episodes the following Thursday, two episodes the Thursday after that, two episodes the Thursday after that, and then finally finishing it out with three episodes. That is right after that.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So people can. I mean, this is like a five week commitment.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. That's. It's. You're saying that like, it sounds like too much.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, if someone were to come up to you and say, like, hey, would you want to watch my TV show over the next five weeks?

[Mitch Mitchell]

It sounds too much. How say this. They can patiently wait five weeks and watch it all at once too, if they want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think they should keep everyone in suspense about TV shows where like, one comes out and then you never know if there's going to be another one. Like I Love Lucy, first episode comes out and you're like, that ruled.

[Mitch Mitchell]

So Peacock is making announcement like, Twisted Metal has been renewed for the second episode. I like, I think that that's fun. I would like it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That'd be cool if like, they did shows one episode at a time over decades instead of like, you guys have 12 in one year and then another 12 next year.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And it was way too much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Way too much. One episode over 120 years.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I love this idea and Twisted Metal is perfect for it. I just want, I want to give a shout out to some. I mean, Joe and I, were we.

[Scott Aukerman]

Giving shout outs on this show now? We are.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. All right. Yeah, go ahead and give your shout out.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I just, I loved working with Joe and also he. He like manhandles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who the fuck is Joe?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Samoa Joe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Who. Who he. He like, I. I've said this, but, like, it as a big guy, it's so nice to like, be like. It made me feel like a little boy again that he could like.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was nice. Did he ever pick you up and hold you in his arms?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Occasionally, Yes. I mean, he is that strong that he can do it. And he would just like, whip me around. I was like, well, I, I like, haven't felt this way in forever.

[Scott Aukerman]

He whipped you around at the end of this season?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Me, he whips me around all through the season and We. We also both get hurt because there's a lot of action. So everyone kind of gets hurt at some point during the season.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is fantastic. Well, I got to check out this show.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You got to check out the show. Also, I drove in a male truck for most of the. The most of the summer. That has.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, you didn't request a female truck.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I. I should have like I do with my masse.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, Twisted Metal. Enough with the jokes. Twisted Metal comes out this Thursday and we all want to be watching it. Peacock, of course, where you get Deal or no Deal Island.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They have.

[Mitch Mitchell]

They.

[Scott Aukerman]

They have non reality shows too, and this is one of them.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Who would have thought bringing the briefcases to the island would have made such a huge difference?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the secret. Bring everything to the island. Bring Twisted Metal to an island.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I would, I would. I would love that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Twisted Metal Island.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'm going to an island soon. I'm going to Hawaii for the first time. I've never been.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah. Have you been? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe only 20 times.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Really? Oh, that's right. Yes. I knew that you went. I'm excited to go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, if you see Mitch in Hawaii, give him an aloha. An aloha? Yes, please. You won't know whether you're saying hello.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Or goodbye, which is fine with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you're hoping it's goodbye.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'm hoping it's goodbye.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Twisted Metal comes out this Thursday. We have to take a break. When we come back, we have a spiritual advisor. We also have an energy reader. Mitch, I'm so glad you're on holistic.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. You can stick around, right? Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, fantastic. We're going to take a break. We'll be right back with more Mitch. More Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this.

[Yoda]

This. Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Here's what it is. You create a stunning online presence with Squarespace where you can easily showcase your services. Whether it's, I don't know, consultations, maybe events, experiences, all on a fully customizable website. Just enjoy yourself customizing this thing. You're going to love it. It attracts clients and it helps grow your business. Squarespace's cutting edge design tools make it simple for anyone to build a bespoke website that aligns perfectly with their brand. Here's how you start. You start with blueprint AI Their AI AI AI AI. Powered website builder and create a fully personalized site in just a few steps. Oh this sounds so futur Futuristic and exciting. Squarespace also helps streamline your entire workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing and professional invoicing. Plus get paid on time with branded invoices and seamless online payments. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang Bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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[Laci Mosley]

What'S poppin listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know they are represented. Cause matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess. Wherever you get your podcasts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang.

[Mitch Mitchell]

We're back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mike. Mitch Mitchell is here.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of of course, Twisted Metal fame. You get recognized on the street from Twisted Metal. Is it a different audience than would watch the Birthday Boys? Meaning an audience.

[Mitch Mitchell]

There, there, there is an. An audience for this show which is nice to have a show that has, you know, like you're guessing whether anyone saw it ever. Yeah, the, the, you know I've been approaching. A lot of people have thought that I played the. The clown. They thought that I. They thought that. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, they recognize you from Twisted Metal but they think you're the clown.

[Mitch Mitchell]

They were like you played the clown? I was like, no. Also, I don't. He's, he's an, he's a wrestler. He's like a professional athlete. He's in good shape. But they. They thought I played the. The shirtless guy with.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, there's a lot of weirdos out.

[Mitch Mitchell]

There, and there certainly are.

[Scott Aukerman]

None of them actually try to assassinate you because I. I would. I would miss you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Why are you putting that into the world? That's what weirdos do. I don't want to be assassin. Oh, actually, whatever. Do you think that would help my, like, my legacy in Hollywood? If I got assassinated?

[Scott Aukerman]

Would it cement your legacy? No, I think people would still just 20 years later, just not really know. Yeah. I mean. I mean. Yeah. I don't know.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I. I mean, I. I think that it would make me Holly. Like, that is the only way I can be a Holly. So. You know what? I'm open to any assassination attempts.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'd rather be a Hollywood legend than still be alive? I mean, come on with your loved ones.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, I mean, they're all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

My cats and my mom and sister.

[Scott Aukerman]

Massachusetts.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, they. I would. I would miss them. So don't. On the other hand. Yeah. Don't. Don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't come at Mitch if you see him on the street, other than to say aloha, thank you. That's right. All right, well, we need to get to our next guest. He is a spiritual advisor. Please welcome for the first time on the show, Yo Yoda. Hi, Yoda.

[Yoda]

Young Ackerman again. Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

Again. Hello. I mean, you didn't say hello more than just that time.

[Yoda]

Good to see you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am Yoda. So good to see you. I. I'm pretty sure I recognize you. You from. Yes, The. The movies. The Star wars movies. Have you seen these movies? The War is Up in the stars.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No, I. I. Not only have I seen them, I enjoy them quite a bit. Except for the new ones.

[Yoda]

Disney Star Wars.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The Disney Star Wars. I'm not. I don't. I don't.

[Yoda]

You enjoy Disney Star Wars?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'm not like, the biggest Disney Star Wars. I. I mean, I don't. I don't want to tell you that You're. I would never say this to someone's face. I think. I think you've done great work in all the movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yoda's not in those, though. So what? He doesn't care, right?

[Mitch Mitchell]

He. He does appear.

[Yoda]

I am in the new Disney Star War.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where were you in these days?

[Yoda]

Well, of course, I show up in the Last Jedi, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doing what? I don't remember.

[Yoda]

I show up and I light the tree on fire and I say, hmm, Young Skywalker.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you do it with a laser or something or what?

[Yoda]

No, you kind of like, meditate for a second, and then lightning comes from the sky. And I say, young Skywalker, always looking to the horizon. Never here now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you were in the Last Jedi. I apologize. I'm not, you know, necessarily appear in.

[Yoda]

Rise of Skywalker as well.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Even when you were saying that that's what you do in Last Jedi, it sounded like you didn't even like it that much.

[Yoda]

Honestly, I think it's good.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, you do?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Best Yoda it is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No. No, it's not.

[Yoda]

We are what we grow beyond. That is the burden of all masters. Remember that.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's from the movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not really.

[Yoda]

I mean, from the Last Jedi. It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are not iconic lines.

[Yoda]

Iconic it is young Ackerman, like, try.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or do or do not. There is no try. Like, that's a iconic Yoda line. These ones you've been doing from the Last Jedi. I barely.

[Yoda]

I don't like much fear in you. I see. Yeah, the dark side, I see.

[Scott Aukerman]

That one's okay. Yeah. But in any case, yeah, you're. You're short, you're green.

[Yoda]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a Jedi.

[Yoda]

I'm a mean machine.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a mean, green machine.

[Yoda]

I'm short. I'm green. I'm a mean machine.

[Mitch Mitchell]

What movie is that from?

[Yoda]

From Christmas special. It is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Life Day. Of course, of course. But welcome to the show. Yoda. It's so great to meet you.

[Yoda]

I met Aukerman.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're so iconic. You're a movie star. You only star in these Star wars movies.

[Yoda]

I'm in television as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but Star wars related.

[Yoda]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why haven't you ever branched out into other things? You know what I mean? Like, people love you. You should be in your own non. Star wars related movie podcast.

[Yoda]

I should have.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Like a heist movie or Obama.

[Yoda]

I will.

[Scott Aukerman]

But, like, you know what I mean? Like the Italian Job starring Yoda.

[Yoda]

Should I be in the Italian Job?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Yoda]

Driving around one of those Mini Coopers upstairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'd fit in a Mini Cooper. It would look huge on you.

[Yoda]

I do drive a Mini Cooper.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you really?

[Yoda]

That's right.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's. That makes. That makes for me, it's just a Cooper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. I also notice you have a green drink here, too.

[Yoda]

People say, is that your jizz? I say, no smoothie. It is apple, banana, and ginger and also spinach inside.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does it taste good?

[Yoda]

Good. It tastes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he. He mixes up the syntax of his sentences. So he's saying it tastes good.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just gotta kind of reverse everything.

[Yoda]

Easy to do. It is not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, why do you do it then, Yoda? Is it just. You want to seem cool?

[Yoda]

Well, if you ask George, it's so I'm compelling. Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I noticed in Empire Strikes Back, which was your first screen appearance, you don't even do it all that much.

[Yoda]

I do it, like, once or twice.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then they're like, oh, that's what everyone liked about Yoda.

[Yoda]

We gotta keep doing that.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you just lean into it.

[Yoda]

Yeah. I think it's fun.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Well, now, that one was fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think it is?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. It's funny fun.

[Yoda]

I think it is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

So sometimes you do just. Sometimes it's just hard to do.

[Yoda]

Sometimes it's hard to do. Sometimes hard to keep up. It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So, Yoda, what are you doing here? You're a spiritual advisor.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's been going on with you? You're not really in movies or all that much anymore.

[Yoda]

I am in the acolyte.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, okay.

[Yoda]

My ears perk up at the end of the season. Yes. I gotta watch Row walks into a room and says, master Yoda. And then you don't really see me. You just see my ears.

[Scott Aukerman]

You see the ears. Okay, that's cool. I guess. And then. But. But what are you up to these days?

[Yoda]

I'm. I'm going around doing press for Disney Plus.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You're going around doing. I also. You're doing press for Disney plus?

[Yoda]

Yes, of course.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay. Okay.

[Yoda]

Affordable. It is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, what about good content?

[Yoda]

It has.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'm trying to push Peacock here. Yoda.

[Yoda]

Peacock.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Peacock, Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, Peacock. It's every color of the rainbow. We're not talking about Peacock, which includes green.

[Yoda]

We're talking about Disney Plus.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Disney plus with Hulu affordability, and ESPN is.

[Yoda]

Well, if you want the bundle, it's only 26.99amonth. If you want the premium bundle, no ads.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are there people out there who are like Marvel and Star wars fans who also want to watch ESPN all the time? I mean, come on. What are they thinking?

[Yoda]

I don't. Well, they do show a lot of trailers on basketball games. You might see the Superman trailer or something.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yoda, I saw. I was watching an old episode of Empty Nest, and I saw you as a guest star on there. Are you not going to do any more?

[Yoda]

Like, what was I doing on Empty Nest? I don't rem.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You don't remember this? You were.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta look this up.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, you were.

[Yoda]

You were Nosy neighbor.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You were the nose neighbor with the white haired man there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were. You were really funny on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I am not seeing anything on the Internet about this.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Did you go. Did you go by a different hallucination you had?

[Yoda]

I don't remember that at all. Of course I do remember being on Golden Girls. Oh, that's what.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You know, that's. That's what.

[Yoda]

That's what.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's probably what it was.

[Yoda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you knew what he was talking about. You were just being an asshole.

[Yoda]

Asshole. I was being prick. I can be sometimes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Speaking of assholes, how do you feel?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, no, no, no, no.

[Yoda]

Hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you shit?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Yoda]

It's a great question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you're an alien, we don't know whether you have one.

[Yoda]

Many mysteries surround. I. Yeah, yeah, me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you shit and piss and I do not.

[Yoda]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't.

[Yoda]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this like a Harry Potter thing where like the wizards on the floor, then they apparated.

[Yoda]

They apparated away the midichlorians in my bowels eat all my waist.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh my God.

[Yoda]

The living force.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's midichlorians eat.

[Yoda]

Interesting. It is canon. It is not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Canon. It will be.

[Yoda]

It will be. So nobody piss. Yes, piss.

[Scott Aukerman]

You piss.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, you piss.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you have a piss penis for fun.

[Yoda]

I piss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, just for fun. You don't have to get rid of it.

[Yoda]

No, I can let the midichlorians eat my piss as well. Sometimes it's good to just drop trowel and light something up with my piss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yoda, why did you ask me if I could hook up your iPad for this music if you're only gonna use it once?

[Mitch Mitchell]

So I thought that music just appeared when you came here. I didn't idea it was an iPad.

[Yoda]

IPad I needed to hook up.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, was it worth it?

[Yoda]

Not just in case I needed to use AI to look something up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you're an AI bro.

[Yoda]

Oh, yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, that sucks.

[Yoda]

Yoda, they're building a data center on Dagobot.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You're not as. You're not as wise, honestly as I thought you were.

[Yoda]

You don't think I'm wise?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. Yoda. Yoda.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh my.

[Yoda]

Calm the fuck down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Put the lightsaber down, Yoda. We don't have lightsabers.

[Yoda]

Okay, okay, I'll put it down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Actually, I do have a replica right over there.

[Yoda]

Replica? It's. It is not the real thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not a working lightsaber.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No, a lightsaber came out of your iPad. Like it's extended from Your iPad.

[Yoda]

That's why I brought my iPad.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Yoda]

This is an Apple Eye Saber.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Apple Eye Saber.

[Yoda]

Yes. It uses USB C to charge.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Seems worse than a regular. The Kyber Crystal, I feel like is young.

[Yoda]

Mitchell.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, yes.

[Yoda]

I've heard that you don't like Disney's Star Wars.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I don't love. I mean. I told you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you're five minutes.

[Yoda]

I've heard from around town. Rumors, if you will.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Yoda]

That you don't like Disney.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Star Wars. Yeah. No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is your issue with.

[Yoda]

What's your. What's your bone?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I. I thought the movies, they just. They didn't. They didn't work for me for whatever reason. I. I didn't. I. You work.

[Yoda]

They did not.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The work. They did not. You.

[Yoda]

You looked very many, many millions of dollars they made.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That is true. People did go out and see them, but that doesn't always mean that artists.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you.

[Yoda]

You must.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Wait, what? Oh, what.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I have to do? I have to myself. Oh, is that you're saying to tell me to myself?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the syntax again. You. You must.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You. You must.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is you, I think.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay, you. You. All right, hold on.

[Yoda]

Give it another try. You must.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I. I've tried it quite a few times. You look very different. I don't know if.

[Scott Aukerman]

For a movie you don't like. You've watched these probably five times a day.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, I've watched. I've watched them truly far too many.

[Scott Aukerman]

Times for movies that are essentially. You don't like.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, just making me angry. But I think that in the Last Jedi, you look weird. I don't know if you got work done or if you like a puppet. You look very different.

[Yoda]

Like the original puppet.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You do not look like the original puppet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, you look kind of like.

[Yoda]

Okay, we're body shaming now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is the face part of a. I.

[Yoda]

Don'T think you want me to come back at you with that.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I mean, no, please don't.

[Yoda]

I think that would be really bad. Long Covid. You must have.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I do have Long Covid.

[Yoda]

Recognize me? You do not.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It seems like you got like a brow lift or something. You look very different.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fillers.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You're very. There's no wrinkles. You look very shiny.

[Yoda]

Thank you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look very different.

[Yoda]

So you say I look different, but I look good.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You look pretty good.

[Yoda]

A compliment. It is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It is a compliment. You look good. You're looking great.

[Yoda]

What if I told you there was some new Disney Star wars that you might like? Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I Mean, is this exclusive? Are we.

[Yoda]

I'm going to break off. Exclusy.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, yeah, hit us because it's been so long since we were in the news. Actually, I said that on a recent episode, and then Karen Gillen mentioned she got married in a castle, and that made the UK papers. Oh, my God. So it's, uh. I mean, it's been a while since Tatiana was on this show and, uh, dropping fake, uh, she Hulk spoilers that get picked up by the comic book press. But this is exciting. Exclusive.

[Yoda]

Here up this will get.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah, let's hear it.

[Yoda]

Ray. Young Ray.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Huh?

[Yoda]

Your favorite character.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, is this Jamie Foxx?

[Mitch Mitchell]

That is my favorite character. Young Ray.

[Scott Aukerman]

From.

[Mitch Mitchell]

From Ray.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. From the first 20 minutes of Ray.

[Yoda]

The sunglasses he wore blind. He was.

[Scott Aukerman]

His father didn't want him to play the piano. It's like, how are you ever gonna find it in the house?

[Yoda]

I'mma make it do what I do, baby. No. Rey Skywalker, of course. Oh, the New Rey movie.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, yes.

[Yoda]

Has it been in development for a while.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Cool. Yeah.

[Yoda]

Are you excited to hear the plot, young Mitch?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I. I would love to hear the plot. Oh, my God. This is really an exclusive.

[Yoda]

In the new Rey movie.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Yoda]

Called the New Jedi Order.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Yoda]

Rey will travel back in time using the world between worlds.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Yoda]

To the moment. In Return of the Jedi. Okay. Empire Strikes Back.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Where, you know, Vader's looking at Luke and he says, no, I am your. And before she can. Before you can complete it, she's gonna show up and say, he's your father. He's your father. So she will spoil it for Luke.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That sucks.

[Yoda]

Canon.

[Scott Aukerman]

It will change.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That sucks. I hate that.

[Yoda]

Why?

[Mitch Mitchell]

First of all, you also did. You didn't do this in any. You didn't go back or the syntax. You've just dropped completely. But this is, I think not when.

[Yoda]

I'm doing a pict.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. You dumb it down for.

[Yoda]

No. For these executives, you really gotta dumb it down.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it.

[Yoda]

So, yes, in time. Back in time, she will go.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, these are the only good Star wars movies. Yeah. Are you gonna ruin these?

[Yoda]

Change the.

[Scott Aukerman]

The.

[Yoda]

The whole story? We will.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No.

[Yoda]

That sucks. We don't go back and say, he's your father. He's your father. Run, run, run. His hand. He will not lose.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's. That's.

[Scott Aukerman]

He barely even loses it. It's like the next time you see him, he's got a robot hand.

[Yoda]

Robot hand. Not need it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then he never brings it up. Again, there it is. It is like an error in these movies that he never brings up his robot hand again, right? Like, he's never. Like, this itches or this makes jerking off.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He's allergic to metal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Twisted metal.

[Yoda]

This is a good idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, no. I'm not suggesting Disney.

[Yoda]

Star wars pretty.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No, this does. Yoda.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yoda, don't ruin these great movies.

[Yoda]

It's good, Ray. Go back in time. He's your father. He's your father. And then he'll run away. Run away, run away, run away. Then they'll both slide out the bottom and go wee.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's. That is the movie. So it is just.

[Yoda]

That will be the beginning of the trilogy.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

What else happens in the. In the other two movies?

[Yoda]

Oh, she goes back in time to.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Yoda]

She goes back in time to Revenge of the Sith.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Yoda]

And then she says to. To Obi Wan Kenobi says, hey, he's actually not. The truth. Chosen One.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Come on, Yoda.

[Yoda]

It's a quick scene, but it changes the entire trilogy.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I don't wanna. I don't hate Rey. I don't. I don't. I. But I. I don't need a woman.

[Yoda]

She is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is your issue with Rey?

[Mitch Mitchell]

She auditioned to be in the Birthday Boys and we just. She did.

[Scott Aukerman]

We didn't like her stuff. Okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Here'S my question. You do have a vendetta against. They're making a new. They're making a new Spaceballs.

[Yoda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Are you excited for that or is.

[Scott Aukerman]

There a Yoda character in Spaceball? Scott hasn't seen.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, you haven't seen.

[Yoda]

Seen.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I haven't seen Spaceballs. Then you don't know about yogurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess not.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You don't know about yogurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know Darth Helmet. Now I know about yogurt.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I guess yogurt played by Mel Brooks himself.

[Yoda]

Yogurt I do not like. Problematic. It is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, really?

[Scott Aukerman]

In what respect?

[Yoda]

Green face.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Yoda]

Not right. It is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You know, I'm not going to argue against that.

[Yoda]

Do you want to hear about the new Disney plus television show coming?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, certainly.

[Yoda]

Young Finn.

[Scott Aukerman]

Young.

[Yoda]

Oh, no, no, no. It's not about a yoke. It's not like a prequel. Editing. No. This is a continuation of Rise of Skywalker.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

So Finn. We love Finn.

[Yoda]

Finn.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, Finn. He was. I mean, he was handled perfectly.

[Yoda]

He was handled perfectly.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Yoda]

A Jedi should not have been black people with lightsabers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although you got Jar. You got Jar Jar.

[Yoda]

Oh, Jar. Jar's Black, for sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just mean the guy. The guy who plays Jar Jar. He had a lightsaber.

[Yoda]

That's right.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And let's not forget Mace Windu.

[Yoda]

Mace.

[Scott Aukerman]

Windu. Mace.

[Yoda]

But his lightsaber was purple. Probably like his dick.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't want to speculate about the color of his canon.

[Yoda]

It is not.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Theorized it is. No. Well, Finn at the end of Rise of Sky Skywalker, he wants to go find his family.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, I. I remember this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't remember this, but it's been.

[Yoda]

A few years, so of course, where does he go? But canto bite.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Because, you know, there is. There is. There is. You know, there's a guy in the comedy world who I'm friends with who, like, loves these Disney Star wars movies, and I can't tell if he's, like, trolling me to try to make me like them, but I. Yeah, yeah, but it's very funny guys guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right?

[Yoda]

Funny guy.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And he has good taste a lot of the time, but he loves these Disney Star wars movies. He worked on Twisted Metal.

[Yoda]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I. I've heard about this guy. I've only. I know his manager.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I've never met the guy.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, he's a. He's a good guy, but he.

[Yoda]

Good guy. He is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've heard stories about him recently about, like, how he used to teach improv, and he would sit in. In the audience like he was a student, and then talk to the students and going like, oh, I wonder what the teacher's gonna be like? And then he would stand up and go, congrats, You've all just done improv.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Yoda]

Classic.

[Scott Aukerman]

He sucks.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, that does. That does.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sucks rules.

[Yoda]

This guy sounds like worse than this. Finn finds his family in Canto.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where's his family?

[Yoda]

Canto bike.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The Great Casino Planet, if you will.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And of course, why didn't he see them there the first time? Was he there that first time?

[Yoda]

Just missed him. Sliding door situation.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Yoda]

But when he sees his family. Yeah. John Boyega plays all of them, kind of like the clumps.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. This might be good. The Finns.

[Yoda]

The Finns.

[Mitch Mitchell]

The Finns.

[Scott Aukerman]

But he'll love this because he was underused in the last couple, so now.

[Yoda]

He gets to be all the characters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I love this.

[Yoda]

His grandmother's like, hey, Finn, what the hell are we doing? All those white guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is Hercules in the Star wars universe? Because I. I want the grandma to say Hercules.

[Yoda]

No, but instead of Hercules, she says. She says.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Yoda]

We're still working on it.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. Wait, what? You heard. Are you script doctoring this?

[Yoda]

Of course I do uncredited script doctoring.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Learn from Princess Leia. I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's where the real money is.

[Yoda]

You just write a couple of different jokes in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So that must be the extent of what's coming up on Disney plus More there.

[Yoda]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What else?

[Mitch Mitchell]

There's more stuff.

[Yoda]

Yoda prequel, series theories.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, Young Yoda.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Young Yoda.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Like a young Sheldon for Yoda.

[Yoda]

Wow. But it's not really like Young Shelton. It's more like a hangout comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, and how young is Yoda at this point?

[Yoda]

He's like, yeah, 300.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not that young.

[Yoda]

Honestly, my species very long lived.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, but it's like, what's, what's adolescence for you?

[Yoda]

50.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you've been an adult for 250 years. At this point, it's just slightly younger.

[Yoda]

Yoda Michelle has youthful energy, but adults in it, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Because sex communities.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, so you have, you have sex in this, like, new girl.

[Yoda]

It is. Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Yoda]

I live in an apartment with Dexter Jester.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Yoda]

Maz Kanata.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Yoda]

And yaddle.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I mean, do you and young Yaddle hook up?

[Yoda]

Well, that will. There won't be. There is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love that. Okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And she's. She's kind of like Jess. And the new girl is Yaddle.

[Yoda]

How teased she is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh.

[Yoda]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

You thought that Jess was a teenager tease? Like a cock tease.

[Yoda]

That's right. Yoda just should have been giving it up.

[Scott Aukerman]

You shouldn't be called women cock cheeses.

[Yoda]

I just think Coach was hot. She should have Coach. I think that was the board.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I, I, I, I, I auditioned for Coach.

[Yoda]

Auditioned?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I, I, I did. I certainly auditioned for Coach.

[Yoda]

Auditioned also that you guys that know that guy Sean Diston did.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, really? You coach.

[Yoda]

Wow. When Damon Wayans Jr. Stepped away, they really scraped the bottom of the barrel for casting.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. John Distant and me, an unknown.

[Yoda]

John Distant did audition. He did.

[Mitch Mitchell]

This is the truth. In the scene you were supposed to stomp like I was supposed to be mad, and I stomped my foot in a light from the ceiling fell during my audition.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. And did you stay in character and roll with it?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. I threw barrels at the Donkey Kong movie. You thought you were shot offs in the Donkey Kong movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, surely that must be the last pitch.

[Yoda]

You still describing young Yoda?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh.

[Yoda]

Graphic sex scenes. There will be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

On Disney plus that's Right. Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Yoda]

Shmee Skywalker is in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Shmee Skywalker.

[Yoda]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's Shme Sky?

[Yoda]

Mother to Anakin Skywalker.

[Mitch Mitchell]

She sadly was killed by banthas or something. Yeah, the. What? What are the little guys that.

[Yoda]

Jawas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jawas.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

She was killed by jawas.

[Mitch Mitchell]

She was killed by jawas.

[Yoda]

No, wait, wait, that's. That's not right. Yeah, maybe. I don't remember.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who knows?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tuscan Raider. That's what it was.

[Yoda]

Different allegory for people of color.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think about these Star wars movies where, like, they have the, like, the Japanese race of aliens?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Yoda]

Trade Wars. They were.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You had a question. You say you do a lot of script doctoring. You could have changed a lot of that.

[Yoda]

You could have changed all of that, added that stuff.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's right. That's. Jeez.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Because the Trade Wars. Have I said that to Trump?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, oh, wait. Why are you talking to Trump?

[Yoda]

We text.

[Scott Aukerman]

Come on, Yoda. We love Yoda. We don't want. We don't want.

[Yoda]

I am wise and I see the darkness in him.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't want our memories of Yoda to be sullied like this.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Yoda]

Wait, before I go, I gotta do one thing.

[Mitch Mitchell]

We want to sully. Like, sully.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah, yeah.

[Yoda]

Oh, young Mitch.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Yoda]

You like Disney Star Wars?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I do. I do.

[Yoda]

You do like Disney Star Wars?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I do like Disney Star Wars. Yoda. You're right.

[Yoda]

It's true.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You know what? Maybe Last Jedi is good.

[Yoda]

Interesting point.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? What was that?

[Yoda]

I don't know. Like, your guest Mitch said it. That's. Maybe you'll say it again.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You know what? Maybe Last Jedi is good.

[Yoda]

Interesting.

[Mitch Mitchell]

What the hell?

[Scott Aukerman]

This is crazy.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Is this a Jedi mind trick you're using on me?

[Yoda]

Oh, genuinely. Like you do.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God, I do. I'd like the Last Jedi.

[Yoda]

Wow.

[Mitch Mitchell]

God, he's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is incredible. We're going to be making news on two fronts. Your spoilers and you liking the Last Jedi.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And there's a new Twisted Metal game coming out. I don't know if that's true.

[Yoda]

That's not true at all. Also, I do want to say there were. There were articles about me biting yaddle at a press event, and I gotta say, total.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay, I saw that.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. We want to make sure we get that out there.

[Yoda]

I, I, you know, we were just being playful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right. All right, Yoda. Well, thanks for dropping by, I guess. Can you stick around? This isn't really the spiritual advisor kind of segment that I. But. But coming up next, we have an energy reader.

[Yoda]

If you need spiritual advice. Might I point you to the Disney plus bundle with ESPN, Hulu and FX for $26.99 a month?

[Scott Aukerman]

So much? That's. That's almost $300 a year.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Can you plug.

[Yoda]

Hulu has live sports.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what? So does cable.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Young Yoda. Can you please plug Cockp, please?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Yoda]

Metal twisted on Cockp.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's. Thank you. That's.

[Scott Aukerman]

We thought the syntax would have him say peacock, but oh well, look, we have to take a break. When we come back, we're going to have an energy reader. This is very exciting. We'll have more Yoda, more Mitch. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this.

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess, the show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Want to know about the fake? We got em? What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know, they are represented because representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Mitch Mitchell]

I need a coffee.

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back here with Mike. Mitch Mitchell.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's right. I like the Mitch in quotes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, people would wonder why I'm calling you Mitch if they don't know your words.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That is very true. Yes, yes. Everyone calls him the too many mics. That was the real too many Mike.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know more Mike Mitchells too. I had three in my phone at a certain point.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You know what I used to get the. The Mike Mitchell, the director of the Chipmunks movie. I. Yeah, the Shrek's. The Shrek's. Yes. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

He still texts me quite, quite frequently on holidays.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He's. He seems like a very nice man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very nice man.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I would email my manager and my agent and say, hey, can you give me a list of money I've made over like this year?

[Scott Aukerman]

And they would send you his list of money.

[Mitch Mitchell]

They would send me his list of money. And let me tell you, those chipmunks pay pretty well. And I was like, no, I'm the guy who made under $100,000 and under.

[Scott Aukerman]

$50,000 and under $20,000 and under $10,000 and under 1,000. Oh, no. Also Yoda here, his music started again.

[Yoda]

Apologize. I must.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, Yoda. What do you have to apologize for?

[Yoda]

Big dirty. I took in bathroom.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know you saying backwards doesn't make it better.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Also, didn't you say that your midichlorians eat the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

For fun. Oh, you did it for fun.

[Yoda]

Sometimes it's good to stretch things out down there.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Jesus Christ.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, look, we. We need to get to our next guest. She's an energy reader. Please welcome to the show for the first time. Deb.

[Deb]

Hello. Can I hear some of your music?

[Yoda]

Oh, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, let's hear.

[Yoda]

Sorry, Let me just into this.

[Deb]

Let me just get into this. A little bit of this. Let's all just take one big, deep, deep, deep breath down, down deep into where you would sit. Okay, so everybody breathing. Okay, so everybody deep. Get deeper. I feel that we could all get a little bit deeper here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Huh?

[Deb]

Huh?

[Yoda]

Okay.

[Deb]

Thank you. Now I feel so sure. We begin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's begin.

[Yoda]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Deb, it's so nice to meet you.

[Deb]

I'm so happy to be here. I've been wanting to be in this space for so long. I've felt the energy of this space. Anytime I'm in. In the hills, I can feel the space of this very room.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, this room. I thought you meant the podcast space, but you mean this literal. Just this room?

[Deb]

Yes. I feel the energy emanating and ruminating.

[Yoda]

Interesting way of talking she has.

[Deb]

Well, I was going to compliment your way of talking. I am very honored to be with you, a spiritual advisor as yourself. I don't ever get usually face to face with such a spiritual advisor. It's very. This is a big day for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

You guys have similar kind of points of view, in a way, I would imagine. I mean, you're an energy reader. You. What is it? What exactly is an energy reader?

[Deb]

So anything and everything has energy, including people. So I'll read their energies, colors, auras, palms, you know, just books, if you have them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Book, books.

[Deb]

You'll read books, whatever you have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I have a few books I liked. Have you ever read the correct.

[Yoda]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you gotta.

[Deb]

I like to expand my palette always. But, you know, I like to take. Take what people don't give me, verbally or visually. And I like to feel. Feel what it is that's coming off of you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Can you do.

[Deb]

Yes, that's why I'm here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Deb]

Yeah, I'd love to see everyone here has a color.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Really? I have color.

[Deb]

You do?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Can you tell me what it is?

[Deb]

Can you breathe for me into the mic?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Into the mic.

[Yoda]

Some Covid.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You can tell that.

[Deb]

A long Covid.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You could tell just.

[Deb]

And the color.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah.

[Deb]

Is deep orange, green, yellow, some blue, a little bit of sapphire.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Deb]

Silver.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my. That's. I thought it would be just one color, but.

[Deb]

There'S a lot of colors.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's a lot of color, isn't it?

[Deb]

So when you walk into the world, you emanate an energy that is all of that orange.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does it. What does it mean?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Orange?

[Deb]

That's a good question.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a good question.

[Yoda]

Yeah. So good question.

[Deb]

It means that you're bringing in what is known as the. The past. Your past lives.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay. Okay.

[Deb]

But then you're also tapping into what is known as your higher life.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh.

[Deb]

So you're bringing it all together in this moment, and you're emanating something unique to you. Oh, so it's like a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't, don't we get that just from his face though, because like we. We look at his face and we recognize who he is and that's unique to him. Right?

[Deb]

Yes, that is. That is a very good point. I will say. My business has not been going great lately.

[Mitch Mitchell]

All.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry, I. I didn't mean to.

[Deb]

No, no, no. I. You're poking holes in my business a little bit, but it is. I will be honest, I've been the energy healer to the stars for years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which, which stars do you mind us asking?

[Deb]

Robin Thick.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh my God, that's Robin Thick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Robin Thick. Yeah, that's. I mean Alan, his father used to be on the show.

[Deb]

Yes. Oh, Allan was on the show until he passed away. Probably when I was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe even after. I'm not quite sure.

[Yoda]

I think maybe once or twice.

[Deb]

I think he's here with us right now. I'm not going to lie. I do feel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Has he been watching this show since he passed away?

[Deb]

He has a few notes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. Robin Thicke.

[Deb]

Robin Thicke. I was with Danny Bonaduce for a bit. The Douche, Kate Moss. But I have not really been working with them lately. They have not been requesting my services. I think it's the economy. So I have been selling laboon boo boos as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you.

[Yoda]

That's what those are?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I guess you have some. You're.

[Deb]

I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you trying to sell them to our listeners or to us personally?

[Deb]

Well, if you guys are interested, I have a few here in studio to show you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I would love to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I've seen a couple of these things. My wife has some and they're. They're frightening looking.

[Deb]

I understand it and I do not.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't quite get what the crazy is.

[Deb]

I feel like you of all people would really want something like this to hang from you.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're about as big as you.

[Deb]

You hang from your little, little rope.

[Yoda]

I need a Yoda. Yoda size. Boo Boo.

[Deb]

A Yoda size.

[Mitch Mitchell]

What about baby Yoda? Isn't that a kind of a what.

[Scott Aukerman]

We think about Grogu?

[Mitch Mitchell]

You do not like Grogu?

[Yoda]

It seems like I like Grogu. Good guy.

[Deb]

Does Grogu eaten by him?

[Yoda]

I am not.

[Deb]

Does Grogu need a Lubu?

[Yoda]

I. Maybe. Maybe he needs one for life day.

[Deb]

Okay, well, I'm trying to get my. My services back hopping in la, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, maybe we could help is. Yeah.

[Deb]

So let's do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's do an example of these readings and you. And maybe our listeners will want to order them.

[Deb]

Call in to you and Then you could tell them, refer them. I don't have a cell phone.

[Yoda]

I will say that I read interesting energy off Aukerman. Interested to see what you see?

[Deb]

Yes. Are you seeing a little bit of a. It's like a dark, dark energy.

[Yoda]

Yes, yes.

[Deb]

Something despair.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Despair and fear.

[Deb]

It's a. It's a slick something.

[Yoda]

Slick, slick. Oily. It is oily.

[Deb]

Oily.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I thought they were going to give you a color. I didn't know that.

[Deb]

I think it's a jizzy energy.

[Scott Aukerman]

A jizzy energy. No one. Honest. Look, Deb, if I were to pay an energy reader to read my energy and, and, and they said I had a jizzy energy. I don't know that.

[Deb]

I haven't seen any money yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but I'm.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You're.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're here for promo purposes, right?

[Deb]

Yes, yes.

[Yoda]

Well, a jizzy energy is, of course, Star wars version of jazz.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, that's a good point. Oh, and that is canon.

[Yoda]

That is.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That is canon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although I believe canon has been changed regarding that since the term was popularized.

[Deb]

I think we should be happy with a jizzy energy because a jizz is. Is what can be a creation device.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's life.

[Yoda]

Life day.

[Deb]

So we're getting life from you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Deb]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not bad. So.

[Deb]

So like a crispy white. Very crispy white aura.

[Yoda]

Crunchy.

[Deb]

Crunchy.

[Yoda]

How did you learn you had this ability?

[Deb]

I was born in New Guinea.

[Yoda]

Oh, okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Papa. New Guinea.

[Yoda]

See it going up Jersey.

[Deb]

And I. I didn't have much there. Just one hut and just one. One.

[Yoda]

I'm so sorry. Thank you.

[Deb]

It was not a pizza.

[Yoda]

Not a Pizza Hut.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, shit.

[Deb]

Oh, shoot.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's what I was thinking too.

[Deb]

They left me. My family left me there. So I spent a lot of time wandering around this. The village, the city. And I worked with different individuals there and I would start reading their.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you remember when you first knew you had this ability or.

[Deb]

Yes. I was at a mango stand and I.

[Scott Aukerman]

This place sounds beautiful.

[Deb]

And I looked over at the mango garcon and I said, sir, there's something emanating oozing from off of your skin.

[Yoda]

Wow. Wow.

[Deb]

And it was a bright, bright yellow, hot yellow light mango color. It was the sun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it was the sun behind him.

[Deb]

It was the sun behind him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Deb]

But then I was like, hold on, sir, there's something. Were you in your past life a dragon tamer? And he said, yes.

[Yoda]

Interesting. That is.

[Scott Aukerman]

So he already knew this.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you just. You just asked whether he was about it. Cuz normally people would go to you, and then you would tell them what they were.

[Deb]

Right. But the first time I had. I didn't know my power.

[Scott Aukerman]

You didn't know. Oh, I see. So he confirmed it.

[Deb]

He had already been to a different energy. Something here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Deb]

I started reading into people, and they're. They're palms, then I like to touch hands. I love.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you want to touch Yoda's hand? Here?

[Yoda]

Fingers here.

[Deb]

Wow.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Scott, have you ever been to the mango stand at 30 Rock?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so. Yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

They sell, like, containment.

[Yoda]

Read my palm shears.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, wow.

[Deb]

You have a big year ahead of you. Pitching. Pitching worldwide. You're going international with your Disney plus pitch.

[Yoda]

She's right.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Deb]

I see you going across the pond. You are meeting with an exec at a London studio.

[Yoda]

Yes.

[Deb]

To meet. To discuss your next project.

[Yoda]

My next project.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. This is incredible.

[Deb]

And you are. You're having babies.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're having kids. Yoda. Yoda. Have you ever. Do you have any children? Well, you seem like a bachelor. You give off bachelor protection.

[Yoda]

I always wear.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you wear a jimmy on that.

[Yoda]

Wow. Magnums. I use magnums.

[Scott Aukerman]

Magnums. Yoda size magnums. Let me show you.

[Yoda]

Let me show you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I don't want.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God. There it is.

[Deb]

I like that. That's.

[Yoda]

Babies. I'm having.

[Deb]

Yes. Babies are having. And Mitch.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Deb]

I'm feeling something crazy for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Babies I'm having.

[Deb]

No.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay. Thank God.

[Deb]

You are. You're bringing goats.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're bringing goats.

[Deb]

You're bringing goats.

[Scott Aukerman]

From where to where?

[Deb]

I don't know those details.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Goats. Goats. Goats.

[Deb]

You're bringing goats.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now that could mean the greatest of all time.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello.

[Deb]

Cool Day together. The greatest of all time. Onto your podcast, Doughboys.

[Mitch Mitchell]

LL Cool Day is going to be on my podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's incredible.

[Yoda]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ladies love him.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Fantastic.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Maybe it's a.

[Deb]

And you two will be going talk.

[Yoda]

About in the house. He will.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Maybe I could do a deep blue sea reunion or something on the podcast. That would be fantastic.

[Deb]

Something like that's coming for you. It's that blue sapphire.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's coming out huge.

[Deb]

This is big. It's a big time for you. Big time. Prepare yourself. Start eating only steak.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Yoda]

Start steak. You must eat. Change your diet. You must.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Yoda]

Screens. You must lay off.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay, so no sides. I do eat steak quite often, but just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Just steak. Okay, that's.

[Yoda]

I'll.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's what I'll do.

[Deb]

No vegetable.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I mean, if this leads to LL Cool J, who I'm sure. Must be a great podcast guest to be on cowboys. Yes, yes, yes.

[Deb]

You must be mentally sharp.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Yoda]

I must say, Deb, having been abandoned by your parents.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Yoda]

You sound a lot like young Ray.

[Deb]

Oh, well, I do feel a kinship with her.

[Yoda]

You do? Yes, Maybe. You are the choice chosen one. I'm.

[Deb]

I'm here to tell you that I am the chosen one.

[Yoda]

Okay. Interesting. It sounds like she was just listening. To what?

[Deb]

Well, I honestly don't want to take Rey's sunshine.

[Yoda]

Yeah, you don't want to take her sunshine.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want to steal her sunshine.

[Yoda]

You don't want to steal her. She's a ray of sunshine.

[Deb]

She is.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Deb]

But I do say we have a lot in common.

[Yoda]

Is that right?

[Deb]

We've been loners, and we. We have to.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've been loners, you've been groaners, you've been midnight toners.

[Deb]

Steal. Steal her sunshine. Sure. Yes. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, this is. This is. This is good. Do you. Do you see anything else for me other than this jizzy, oily energy?

[Deb]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, can you tell me what's coming for me?

[Deb]

Yes. Do you drive down Sunset Bella Vald much?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, anytime I want to go to the. To the Roxy, the hip clubs, you know, the Saddle Ranch. Yeah. The Viper Room.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I love these.

[Deb]

The Saddle Ranch. Yes. I see something high up on Sunset Boulevard for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Something like.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Could you be on the. You know, there's a mechanical bowl if you're.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, maybe the mechanical bowl at the.

[Deb]

Saddle range being flung from.

[Yoda]

Oh, my God, A bowl.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that makes sense with what we just said about the mechanical bowl, but.

[Deb]

Something high up in the sky. I see something like maybe a big, big blimp that's flying black by Sunset Boulevard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so I'm driving down Sunset, and you see a big blimp above me.

[Deb]

Yes. And it has a message for you. All I'm saying is keep your eyes peeled and open.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does it say ice cubes? A pimp, perhaps, or.

[Mitch Mitchell]

He's one of the goats.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's one of the goats. Maybe he'll be on double.

[Deb]

Yeah. These are the details I can't iron out yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are the details I want. The details you have are really of no use to me.

[Deb]

Well, it's coming, but it's probably gonna need a little bit of money.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Oh, okay. Well, I mean.

[Yoda]

Hey, can I. Can I talk to you guys over here? Deb, do you mind if I talk to you?

[Deb]

No problem at all. I'll talk to myself. Over here.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's up? Yoda.

[Yoda]

A fraud. She is. Question mark. I'm scared. I am trying to rip us off. She is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't heard anything really of use other than I guess, LL Cool J being on Doughboys.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. Which is pretty nice for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pretty nice. But I honestly, I don't.

[Yoda]

When my palm she read, my wallet was lifted.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh no.

[Yoda]

Don't know where my wallet is.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to find your wallet.

[Yoda]

We gotta get mine, cuz real ID must have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Deb, can we talk to you for a second?

[Deb]

Yes. No, I was just over admiring your stacks of books and DVDs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the Corrections. You gotta, you gotta look at all.

[Deb]

These toys you have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, these are comedy Bang Bang action figures.

[Yoda]

A child. He is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Perhaps someday there will be one made of you. Death.

[Deb]

Oh, God, she'd be gorgeous. So many colors.

[Scott Aukerman]

Deb, can, can we ask you to do something for us? Do you mind emptying out your purse? Yeah, we're looking for Yoda's wallet. Yes, it's gone missing since you came on to this third segment of the show.

[Yoda]

It's green. It says Bad motherfucker.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Bad Motherfucker on it. Yes. Did you get that custom made or did Pulp Fiction sell a Yoda version of that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he just painted the Pulp Fiction one green.

[Deb]

Run to the bathroom. I have to run to the bathroom.

[Yoda]

Oh, it's running to the bathroom. Running into the corner of the room. Not sure where the bathroom is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's the door right over there actually. Yeah, if you. Yeah, please don't go in the corner.

[Deb]

Okay, I'm back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Hi. Can you empty out your purse for us, please?

[Deb]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Listen to the keys making that chicken, chicken noise. Yeah.

[Yoda]

My wallet.

[Deb]

It's just mainly keys. A few labus and lip gloss floss, some sticks of cinnamon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on, hold on.

[Deb]

Honey, honey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mitch, do you mind emptying out your pockets?

[Deb]

Mitch? Mitch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Lots of keys.

[Yoda]

Keys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, a couple of labubus in there as well.

[Mitch Mitchell]

There are a few labubus.

[Scott Aukerman]

My wallet. What's this?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'm sorry. Yoda.

[Yoda]

Mitch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mitch.

[Yoda]

Radiohead.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Peacock. You know, streaming residuals aren't what they used to be. I had a lift.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, we struck for these, know.

[Yoda]

And you want me to promote Peacock?

[Mitch Mitchell]

That. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Yoda]

Begun the streaming wars have.

[Scott Aukerman]

This. This is bad. Mitch.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I thought. Deb, you know, you're, you're in the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two timers club now.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I, I, I know I shouldn't be doing.

[Deb]

I feel the streaming wars are going to be Very lucrative for everyone here.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh my God.

[Yoda]

That's actually good news.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Are they going to actually buy pitches again?

[Yoda]

God, D is expensive.

[Deb]

Somebody's wanting a pitch.

[Yoda]

Pitch.

[Deb]

Somebody is wanting a pitch.

[Mitch Mitchell]

You rent. You rent in Dagobah is what I was gathering from that.

[Yoda]

It's like I do own, but the property.

[Scott Aukerman]

You rent a swamp.

[Yoda]

I pay mostly property taxes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Yoda]

Yeah, Dev, I'm gonna make money.

[Deb]

You are gonna make money. Even though that wallet's already pretty thick and full.

[Yoda]

So how much did I pay you? What, 50 bucks, 60 bucks?

[Deb]

No one here has to pay me. I understand. I feel the energy. This is a free session.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Deb]

This is a free session.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I was gonna say I am usually the one who has the jizzy aura when people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, really?

[Mitch Mitchell]

So I'm shocked that you got jizzy aura.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's when you put an aura.

[Yoda]

You just kind of have jizz on yours.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is actually something about Harry style.

[Deb]

I try to go off of aura, not just switch on your swear.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. Can you tell me then what the blimp is going to say now that no payment is involved?

[Deb]

The blimp is going to say, say rent space here.

[Mitch Mitchell]

A landlord you'll become. Why am I talking like that's what it means?

[Yoda]

Yes, it is.

[Deb]

I think what it is, the messages are coming through is that you need to advertise on more creative, unconventional sources of advertising.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is not a bad idea.

[Yoda]

A Bang Bang billboard. There must be.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, we had one for the first season of the show.

[Deb]

Where was it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was oddly missing for seasons two through five. Did birthday boys ever get a billboard?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I do not believe so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, so I shouldn't complain, I guess, but.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, well, you still could. We really gave it close to nothing. Yeah.

[Deb]

Have you done coasters?

[Scott Aukerman]

Coasters.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, that's smart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, I've done posters. What about coasters?

[Deb]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about Midnight Toasters?

[Yoda]

New shirt. You must.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Must have.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess that's a good idea. Go in every bar in LA and just give them free coasters that say Comedy Bang Bang.

[Deb]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, yeah. I mean, maybe you're not an. An energy reader. Maybe you're like a marketing genius.

[Yoda]

You might be.

[Deb]

Yeah, well, I'm branching out. I okay with the Labubu business and. Yeah, maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many Lebukins have you salting?

[Deb]

Seven.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Yoda]

For how much?

[Deb]

They were 45.99 each.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, that's. Then you've been made a good profit. I feel like.

[Deb]

Well, they cost me $70.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, so. Oh, now you're losing.

[Deb]

I've lost, but I've made people happy.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That's the most important thing in this.

[Deb]

Because they couldn't find them.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll tell you what. I would love for you to. To. I'd love to hire you to do some out of the box marketing ideas for the show. We really could use it. We're not getting in the new newspapers other than. Of course, I believe the sun picked up Karen Gillan's wedding in the castle recently.

[Mitch Mitchell]

But new twist metal game coming out. Of course.

[Deb]

Yeah.

[Yoda]

So, yeah, I'd love Young Finn series.

[Scott Aukerman]

Young Finn series, of course. Yeah. And she Hulk is a musical or she sings.

[Deb]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not easy being green. How did anyone fall for that one? I have no idea.

[Yoda]

I agree with that.

[Deb]

I heard that show is so, so good.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think so. Yeah.

[Yoda]

I love she Hulk iconic character musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Young Finn is about Finn from Star Wars. I didn't know if it was a Jaws prequel or. Or what the deal is or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Finn Wolfhard or Finn Wolf.

[Yoda]

Have you been listening at all long? Co Ravaging you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, D. I'll. I'll hire you on retainer for. I can really only offer you a two year contract at. I can only do six figures a year. I'm so sorry.

[Deb]

I think that's a good start.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that okay?

[Deb]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. Yeah. So just work up some ideas and maybe next time you. So you can. You can tell us your new ideas. What's going on?

[Mitch Mitchell]

I just want to interject here. I had to steal a wallet. I'm clearly going through money issues.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, Mitch, I'm sorry. Nothing for you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Fair enough.

[Deb]

Mitch, I'm maybe needing some.

[Mitch Mitchell]

An assistance. Oh my God, I would love to. Deb. I would love to be your assistant.

[Yoda]

Okay, good.

[Deb]

Bring your energy. I'm going to test you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Deb]

Can you read my energy?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Deb]

What color are you getting?

[Yoda]

See?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Orange, blue, green.

[Yoda]

Don't say Nikar.

[Deb]

Silver.

[Scott Aukerman]

Slick.

[Deb]

Slick silver.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Slick silver.

[Deb]

That's it.

[Mitch Mitchell]

We have the same color reading. Can I ask you something?

[Deb]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Do you. Can you see, like, what will happen to me? Do you know, like, how I'll die someday or. Or is that. Is that beyond your powers?

[Deb]

That's a heavy order. Mitch.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Deb]

You live to be 104.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Mitch Mitchell]

104 years old?

[Deb]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I cannot believe that.

[Yoda]

Unlikely. That is.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have the longest Covid I've ever seen. You've had long Covid. Since the. Since the 90s. I feel like.

[Deb]

You get into the Guinness book records. The Guinness books new guineas book. I'm close with the contacts there.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Deb]

You get in for the longest long Covid.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Longest long co. That's.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's oldest man to have long Covid. To live.

[Deb]

And you. And you pass at your birthday party.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wonderful way to die.

[Mitch Mitchell]

100. My 104th birthday.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Yoda]

Horse vision.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm asking what's going on, Yoda?

[Yoda]

I do see information about your death.

[Deb]

Yes.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Bring it.

[Deb]

Bring it.

[Yoda]

You do leave your birthday party where, of course, you're watching a movie and eating pizza with your friends.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Deb]

What I do in their pajamas.

[Yoda]

In your pajamas?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. Yeah.

[Yoda]

And you.

[Scott Aukerman]

The flap in the back open.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Accidental.

[Yoda]

You go into the new Americana bathroom where they've installed new bathtubs.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

They have bathtubs in the Americana.

[Yoda]

You get in there, and that's perfect edging.

[Deb]

You start, you die gooning.

[Scott Aukerman]

I die gooning.

[Yoda]

Set up many screens of pornography you do in bathroom.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Bathroom.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I'm sure the technology by then will be there. Where screens will just be in there all day. Screens.

[Yoda]

More like a Google glasses situation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. So you're gonna die gooning in a.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Bathroom of the Americana at 104 years old.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, hey, it's the way we.

[Yoda]

All want to go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, guys, we're running out of time here. I'm so sorry to say. We only have time for one final feature on the show, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. We could be ping up that bag, hear all about all your shows. Running up that throne, running up that hill to come see you. Hey, that was running up that plug back by Charles Whitborn. Speaking of Finn Wolfard.

[Yoda]

No one was speaking of him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brought him up when he mentioned Finn.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yoda. Why?

[Yoda]

Who cares? I prick sometimes. I am.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. You're gonna make it to the two timers club, Yoda back.

[Yoda]

I will be.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not gonna trot out my iPad cable again for you. All right, what are we plugging, guys? Mitch, obviously, Twisted metal comes out this Thursday.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Twisted metal comes out this Thursday. Season two on Peacock. Shout out to Michael Jonathan. SM created the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're still doing shout outs.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay, yeah, go ahead and. Sorry about that. And then a couple other people. Tiana Okoye is on the show. Sailor Bel Kurta is on the show. So many funny, talented people. Yeah, I'm on there too. And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then there are lots of cars going vroom, vroom.

[Mitch Mitchell]

A lot of vroom. Vrooms, beep beeps and beep beep to you all. Check it out, please.

[Scott Aukerman]

Many honks to you, of course.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Many honks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And Yoda, what do you want to plug?

[Yoda]

Disney. Disney plus basic 9.99.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, wow.

[Yoda]

Disney plus premium 15.99.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is basic at you like? You watch the first 10 minutes of each hour.

[Yoda]

I see a couple of Ozempic ads in there. Disney Plus Plus Hulu. Now, that's 10.99. And I think that's actually a good deal because Hulu has live sports.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I heard Dexter Jetsetter has started to take those up.

[Yoda]

Who the hell is Dexter Jetsetter? Oh, okay, I'm gonna keep going.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Jo is pissed off at me.

[Yoda]

Disney Plus Hulu Plus ESPN Ad Premium 2690 99.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, sorry, sorry. I forgot you had to keep pitching.

[Yoda]

Okay, that's all I say. And also, look. Yeah. Twisted metal on peacock. Cockpy metal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you, Yoda.

[Yoda]

It should be kind of fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Yoda]

There's a fun setup in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Deb, what do you want to plug here?

[Deb]

Well, I was just thinking about this show you all have been talking about, and I have a feeling about it.

[Yoda]

Really?

[Deb]

Yes. It's not only twisted.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Ooh, yes.

[Yoda]

Oh, I do that.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

You say baby too.

[Deb]

But it's has an element of sick surprise, dark depravity, and characters killing.

[Yoda]

So you're saying Patty Guggenheim is on the show? I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know that. We brought it up earlier that she was.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I think people know she is Yoda. May I speak Speak here? I don't know if you're gonna snap him. Patty Guggenheim is on the show, and she's fantastic and hilarious.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can check out this show.

[Deb]

Well, I think it's gonna be.

[Mitch Mitchell]

She plays Raven.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's so raven of her.

[Mitch Mitchell]

That is. That is so Raven.

[Deb]

Yes. Good colors for her.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Wow.

[Yoda]

Black she wears.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's fantastic. Well, what do I want to plug? I. I, of course, you know. Astonishing Spider Man. My final issue came out last week. What a run.

[Yoda]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

But happy the fans are. Yeah, they love me. You can check that out on the Marvel Unlimited app. And then, hey, if you're a comedy Bang Bang fan, you gotta get over there to CBB World. We have every single episode of this show ad free.

[Mitch Mitchell]

All.

[Scott Aukerman]

Almost 1,000 episodes, plus every live episode we've ever done.

[Yoda]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plus shows like Scott hasn't seen where my friend who's the manager. Oh, you've been on this show?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did Gremlins 2 and something else. Right?

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah. Yes. Gremlins 2 and.

[Yoda]

God.

[Mitch Mitchell]

What? That was the other one. I. Oh, I. I know what it was. Seven Samurai seven, Sam.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah, we just did that recently with you.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yeah, that was so equally good movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

We did the day after the election.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It was. It was the day after the election, the morning after. A great day.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a day. And we have Scott as insane. We have Collegetown. We have the neighborhood. Listen. Oh, gosh, I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. It's so gorgeous.

[Yoda]

Don't forget. Hey, Randy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Randy. CBB presents where people from this show have their own shows. So much great stuff over there. And it is relatively inexpensive. A lot more inexpensive than Disney plus.

[Yoda]

And coming soon. That bundle is coming soon to CBB World. A podcast I have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Yoda, you have a podcast there?

[Yoda]

Yes, it's called a podcast I have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, sure. Oh, yeah, why not?

[Yoda]

I don't know what the premise is yet, but yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then podcast I have, of course, Crisis on Infinite Bang Bangs coming.

[Yoda]

Yeah, they're still working on. I think they're on page like 700 or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're starting at page 700, but yeah, we're.

[Yoda]

It starts Meteor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Mitch Mitchell]

This is a great tune. Open the black bag with me. Dude, please don't close it.

[Yoda]

Like that. I did skanking. I was.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Yes, that was skanking.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was skanking so hard. That was plug back 2025 ska version by Don Shaw. Thank you to Don Shaw. And guys, I want to thank you so much, Mitch.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Thank you for having me. I wish Deb had seen you near death. That happened when you almost choked.

[Deb]

I'm still choking. That you felt. I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. I wish you would have warned me about that, Deb, instead of this blimp, I'm going to see.

[Deb]

Some lessons.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but in any case, I. I'll see you at the Office tomorrow morning, 9am sharp.

[Deb]

Startup brainstorm.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want the first hundred ideas or so on my desk by then.

[Deb]

Not a problem.

[Mitch Mitchell]

And all right. I'll be at your garage cleaning stuff up tomorrow afternoon as your assistant. I can't wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I'll just pay you in advance of. That's okay. I said it's only six figures. I could only afford $999,999 a year, but that's fine.

[Yoda]

Yeah, Sorry, for now.

[Deb]

No, for now that's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's fine.

[Yoda]

Minimum wage.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Yoda. What Else needs to be said.

[Yoda]

Choking you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe I was force.

[Yoda]

Choking.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Yoda]

Wait a minute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lord Yoda.

[Yoda]

It's not me.

[Mitch Mitchell]

It's.

[Yoda]

It's Deb.

[Deb]

Listen, Darth.

[Yoda]

Deb.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Oh, my God.

[Deb]

Can't you push it to seven figures?

[Scott Aukerman]

Deb, are you force? What do they call it? Force?

[Yoda]

Choking?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, not choking. Force adjacent. Sensitive.

[Yoda]

Sensitive, Yes. A Sith. She is a Sith.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh.

[Deb]

So sorry.

[Mitch Mitchell]

I'll pitch in the.

[Deb]

I'm sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Unclench your fist.

[Deb]

And you wanted a few Labubu.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'll. I'll take seven.

[Yoda]

Take the Labu. You must.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Yoda, I don't need your force convincing.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Can I just remind her that she loses money?

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. You really want me to buy these Labu.

[Deb]

All right, unload this.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, I'll see you at the office tomorrow. And I'll see you all next week. Thanks. Bye.

[Deb]

Bye.

[Laci Mosley]

What's poppin, listeners? I'm Laci Mosley, host of the podcast Scam Goddess. The show that's an ode to fraud and all those who practice it. Each week I talk with very special guests about the scammiest scammers of all time. Wanna know about the fake errors? We got em. What about a career con man? We've got them too. Guys that will wine and dine you and then steal all your coins. Oh, you know they are represented. Representation matters. I'm joined by guests like Nicole Byer, Ira Madison iii, Conan o' Brien and more. Join the congregation and listen to Scam Goddess. Wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Deb]

I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me. I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy? And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous.

[Mitch Mitchell]

Okay, that's it. I'm taking you home with me. I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas and more at your DSW store or dsw.com.