Paul F. Tompkins, Will Hines

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode Featuring Paul F. Tompkins and Guy Foreman

Release Date: March 10, 2025
Guests: Paul F. Tompkins, Guy Foreman
Host: Scott Aukerman
Duration: 95 minutes

---

Introduction and Welcome

Scott Aukerman opens the episode with his characteristic humor, engaging in playful banter with Paul F. Tompkins about whimsical topics like popcorn pigeons and the "San Francisco treatment" of the show. The initial minutes set a lighthearted tone, establishing the rapport between the host and his guests.

---

Promoting Paul F. Tompkins’ Tour: Varietopia

[04:23] Paul F. Tompkins:
Paul takes center stage to discuss his upcoming tour, Varietopia, a variety show blending stand-up comedy, sketches, musical performances, and more. He emphasizes the show's diverse entertainment offerings, aiming to engage audiences across various cities in the United States and Canada.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul: "What we're doing with Varietopia is a complete expression of all my favorite things."
• Scott: "We have a pizza the action figure that you just have to have to.]
• Paul: "It's a variety show. So there's comedy, there's music, there's other forms of entertainment."

Tour Details:

• Start Date: April 23rd
• Initial Locations:
  • Iowa City, Iowa
  • St. Paul, Minnesota
  • Madison, Wisconsin
  • Chicago, Illinois
  • Royal Oak, Michigan
  • Lakewood, Ohio
  • Toronto, Ontario, Canada
  • New York City, New York (Irving Plaza at 4:00 AM)

Paul elaborates on each venue, sharing anecdotes about past performances and the unique characteristics of each city. The conversation highlights his enthusiasm and dedication to bringing Varietopia to a wide audience.

---

Deep Dive into Varietopia

[15:06] Paul F. Tompkins:
Paul describes Varietopia in detail, outlining the structure of the show which includes:

• Stand-Up Comedy: Paul performs his unique brand of humor.
• Sketches: Short comedic scenes featuring recurring characters and new material.
• Musical Acts: Featuring up-and-coming and established musicians.
• Interactive Elements: Engaging the audience through games and participatory segments.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul: "If you like me, you will like this show."
• Scott: "It's a complete expression of all my favorite things."

Paul emphasizes the show's inclusivity, inviting audiences to experience a blend of different entertainment forms, ensuring there's something for everyone.

---

Guest Segment: Guy Foreman – Comic Book Inker

Scott introduces Guy Foreman, a comic book inker, shifting the conversation to the intricacies of the comic book industry. This segment provides listeners with an insider’s perspective on the artistic process behind comic books.

Discussion Points:

1. Role of an Inker:

   • Guy Foreman: Explains that inking involves tracing and solidifying the penciled drawings, adding depth, shadows, and details to bring the artwork to life.
   • Scott: "It's like holding an action figure of yourself."

2. Collaboration with Pencilers:

   • Guy: Collaborates closely with pencilers to interpret scripts into visual narratives, often enhancing or completing the artwork to meet publishing standards.
   • Paul: "Any minute now, it's just going to be straight prose."

3. Challenges in the Industry:

   • Guy: Addresses issues like dishonesty and overloading in inkers, emphasizing the importance of diligence and integrity in the creative process.
   • Paul: "He's trying to scam a lot of work."

Notable Quotes:

• Guy: "An inker is somebody who takes the penciler's rough sketches and finishes them up for the printing process."
• Scott: "Do we need all of them? It's like all of our governmental workers. Let's just fire half of them."

Comic Book Characters Discussed:

• Captain Gus and the Fat Lip Duo: A naval accountant turned superhero with inflated lips granting super strength.
• Sad Gentleman: A character navigating mundane challenges with an abstract twist.
• Bubonic Bill: A character dealing with the bubonic plague as a superpower.

Guy shares creative processes behind these characters, highlighting the blend of humor and complexity in comic storytelling.

---

Humorous Banter and Creative Exchanges

The episode thrives on the spontaneous and humorous interactions between Scott, Paul, and Guy. They delve into playful debates about superhero identities, the absurdity of certain character traits, and the creative liberties taken in comic book narratives.

Notable Exchanges:

• On Superhero Names:

  • Scott: "Why wasn't his name Bat Bill?"
  • Guy: "He came up with Bat Joker to direct all the attention at Joker."

• On Comic Book Consistency:

  • Guy: "If the pencil is lazy and they're trying to scam a lot of work, the inker has to fill in the blanks."
  • Scott: "It's a legit problem. And, yeah, it's bad."

These interactions not only entertain but also shed light on the collaborative nature of creative work in the comic industry.

---

Cameos and Pop Culture References

Ben Jammin makes cameo appearances throughout the episode, contributing to the comedic flair with references to classic films and characters. The trio references iconic movies like Psycho and engages in meta-commentary on pop culture, enhancing the episode's entertaining quality.

Notable Quotes:

• Ben Jammin: "You've done so much great work."
• Scott: "You were in Arsenic and Old Lake."

These references serve as humorous interludes, maintaining a lively and engaging atmosphere.

---

Closing Remarks and Final Plugs

As the episode nears conclusion, the guests participate in a "plugs" segment, promoting their respective projects and shows. Paul reiterates the launch of Varietopia, encouraging listeners to attend and tune into his performances.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul: "We're doing our St. Patrick's Day special in Los Angeles and live streaming it to the world."
• Scott: "Head over to cbbworld.com for the complete archive of Comedy Bang Bang."

The episode ends on a high note, celebrating the collaborative spirit and creative endeavors of all involved.

---

Conclusion

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang masterfully blends humor with insightful discussions on the comic book industry, all while promoting engaging entertainment projects. Scott Aukerman’s adept hosting, combined with Paul F. Tompkins’ enthusiastic promotion of Varietopia and Guy Foreman’s expertise in comic book inking, offers listeners a rich and entertaining experience. The inclusion of pop culture references and spontaneous banter further elevates the episode, making it a must-listen for fans of comedy and creative arts alike.

---

Note: This summary excludes sections related to advertisements, introductory remarks, and non-content segments to focus solely on the core discussions and highlights of the episode.

Transcript

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Shake up your weekly meal plan at Whole Foods Market with a Taste the Mediterranean event. Find sales on robust olive oils plus juicy no antibiotics ever. Chicken and hearty beef chuck. Complement your dinner with a sun drenched salad featuring grape tomatoes, organic bell peppers and crunchy cucumbers. And while you're cooking, graze on a mezze spread filled with charcuterie and delightful cheeses. Taste the Mediterranean at Whole Foods Market in store and online.

[Scott Aukerman]

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Progressive, where drivers who save by switching save nearly $750 on average. Plus auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Quote [e-mail] to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $744 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will var not available in all states and situations. Don't hate the player or hate the game. I invite invented this game and I worked really hard. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Popcorn Pigeon for that.

[Guy Foreman]

Oh, isn't that cute?

[Scott Aukerman]

Popcorn pigeon. I wonder if that's a pigeon made of popcorn or. Or a pigeon that eats popcorn exclusively.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think it's like popcorn chicken, but it's pigeon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, interesting. Popcorn chicken.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the San Francisco treat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. This is of course, the podcast that is the San Francisco treatment. No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that for real?

[Scott Aukerman]

That is for real. Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

Our.

[Scott Aukerman]

Our biggest city is San Francisco.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So what does that mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

The biggest city in the world is San Francisco.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay, that's what I thought you meant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I agree.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Welcome to Comedy Bank Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have a great show coming up a little later. We have someone who works in the illustrated medium and that will be very exciting. But before we get to them, let us turn to our guest of honor. He's on this show very rarely, only usually around two times a year. Two holidays. Christmas.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mass of Christ and wet day, which is coming up in about a month. Yes, but he's here early. Yeah, he decided to swing by the studio here. Not like Spider Man, Certainly. You weren't literally swinging or Tarzan. Tarzan.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who are the famous swingers? Spider Man, Tarzan the Pitfall. Harry.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Ice Storm couples.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Ice Storm couples. Jon Favreau in that one movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes. I. My mind went to Jon Favreau playing Tarzan and I was like, sure, why not George? I can't even say what George was of. I'm so excited. Brendan Frazier.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

People were like what if Tarzan was silly?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that's how we got George of the Jungle.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's how we did. Like you could do that with almost anything is turn a cartoon cartoon this.

[Ben Jammin]

But now you could turn a car toy.

[Scott Aukerman]

We should mention that this is the earliest we've ever recorded.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that true?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I, I do believe that I've, I may have recorded an episode at 9am once but this is. I, I don't believe I, I've to anyone other than my daughter and I was saying goooo Gaga.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz she don't talk in order to communicate. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the mouth you ever talk to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You ever talk to a baby like, you ever talk to a baby like, you ever talk to a baby like hey, what's going on? And then, and then the, and then the baby's like oh, go go go go.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a good, good chunk of material.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you. I'm not a parent but I do have material about little kids.

[Scott Aukerman]

You there. You should do a 10 minute chunk on. I'm not a parent but I have material on how to interact with kids and that. It's all very.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It becomes the famous name of the bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Speaking of famous names, he has one. Please welcome back Paul F. Tompkins.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hello.

[Scott Aukerman]

How are you?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, Scott, you and I are dear friends.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And here we are.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're friends to a lot of deer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, that's what I meant. Now how many are you up to?

[Scott Aukerman]

One and a half. I've like met the second one. But we're not your acquaintance. We're colleagues.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. I am work friends with two deer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And very good friends with one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you're on your way. So we, we're good friends with the same amount of deer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

But we have, we have some others in play.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. Although you said one and a half and I said I named three deer.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did. But I don't count your work friends as actual friends.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You count two work friends as one friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have a friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wouldn't even to say they're even a half. I would say they're point ones.

[Guy Foreman]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now you were going to say I wouldn't dirty my mouth with saying is that, am I reading?

[Scott Aukerman]

I was not going to say that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You were not going to say that.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I wasn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Would you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was not going to dirty my mouth with saying yes, that you have several friends anyway. But we are dear friends. What were you about to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Say about that. And so you're kind enough to have me on your show. And it was a.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a real favor for both of us. It truly was. Like, you did me a favor by agreeing to do a show, and then I. Did you explain what we're doing here today, folks?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're here today because.

[Scott Aukerman]

We are gathered here today.

[Ben Jammin]

Beloved.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, please do it like Prince.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We are here today because I have something to promote.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, normally, the first people that I talk to on the show are people who come here with projects.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. But famous people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Last week, we.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Doing things that people want to see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. We had Ione sky, who is a famous movie actress, here promoting a book. So she's kind of. Kind of counts as author. As I've talked about in the past, the hierarchy of good podcast guests.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Movie star number one with a bullet. We love him. TV star. We'll take them. Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We watch. Yeah, we like tv.

[Scott Aukerman]

We like tv, don't we, folks? Thirdly, comedian. Comedian. Yeah. I'll take comedian because they're out there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Touring and they're doing something entertaining.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Tony Award winners. We've had them. Oh, sure, we've had them. We'll take them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Under that, we have authors. We're getting dicey here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And then way down at the bottom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Podcaster.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you fit in. You're a comedian.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're. You're up. You're up there. You're not. You're not as bad as author. Right. But you're not as good as a movie star. You should start.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm not as good as a TV star.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Yeah, you should be. You. You should at least be in one movie that just. Is just. You're. You're above the title.

[Ben Jammin]

Above the title.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

God damn.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think everyone deserves that. Everyone in the world should have one movie that they started.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think that's nice. I think that, sure, everyone deserves that. But I feel like you're some.

[Scott Aukerman]

It can be an independent film. Somebody can be like a major Hollywood blockbuster, but every single person in the world deserves one movie about them.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're laying something out that I think is going to be difficult for me to achieve in the amount of time that I've left on earth.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you could do it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

How long?

[Scott Aukerman]

Movies only take three months to film.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I tell you, I. For this. For this venture that I'm here to promote, I talked the Venture Brothers, which I've. I've done voices for the Venture Brothers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. You have. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Blue Morpho. Most famous. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

As. As someone who doesn't know what the Venture brothers even is, I. I find that fascinating.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, you think it's sort of like the Girl Scouts and they sell cookies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, of course. Did you bring some cookies today?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I always bring cookies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. Listen to Threedom for some more information about that.

[Ben Jammin]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But yeah, I trip out on that song. Do you remember Tycho?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I don't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They made the slot cars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then.

[Scott Aukerman]

How can I forget Tycho?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They would end their commercials with Tycho, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. We. We exist.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's sort of like a tagline you'd have for an actual car company. That was like, we are. We're releasing our latest model. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. And are they still around Tycho? I'm gonna look this up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a good question.

[Scott Aukerman]

While you further elaborate on exactly.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Slot cars. The biggest promise to the smallest payoff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey. I'm on their Wikipedia page and I would say the sec or the third word tells you exactly what you need to know about Tycho. Tycho Toys was an American toy manufacturer. It was acquired by Mattel in 1997, becoming one of its brands they did such a great job with. No longer exists. Thanks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Nice work, Mattel.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I find the. I just. So everyone knows, I'm the person who immediately gets on Wikipedia when a celebrity dies to change it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the person. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I once. I don't think I was watching the race, but some famous race car driver died and I was watching a live television event and. And it had happened within 30 seconds and I went on the Wikipedia page and it had already been changed. Who are. That was you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That was me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you do this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But because it's people. It needs to be updated. It's honoring the person who's died.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. That is a good point. I mean, it needs to be accurate when you die.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And God, I pray it soon. Would you.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I meant the opposite.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, Satan, what's the opposite of I you? Satan, you. What's the opposite of pray?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Despair?

[Scott Aukerman]

Satan, you despair. It isn't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a lie. Satan, you despair. It's a lie.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lie is the opposite of soon. Oh, I don't know how true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, truth got in there somewhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Satan, I despair. It isn't far away. That still means exactly what you said. You're just talking to a different person.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Satan, I despair. It is far away.

[Scott Aukerman]

But is is not the opposite of is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a good point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Unless you're talking to Bill Clinton. Am I right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But if you, if you were to die, you wouldn't want people to go around thinking that I was still alive, would you?

[Scott Aukerman]

I won't. I want some kind of cushion for the pushing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean. Wait, is that another one of us? It doesn't sound like quotes. It kind of sounds like that would be something that he coined.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

More cushion for the push.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why is Bill always talking about this.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

As grass or gas? No one rides for free. There's a lot of things that make sense that he would say, but I.

[Scott Aukerman]

I kind of want some. I want a day cushion where everyone kind of. I, I, I think the sadness that would overtake America if they out at the same time. Much like how we found out Tom Hanks had co. Oh, so you want.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Your death to be a sort of Juneteenth situation.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what you mean by that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We celebrate when the last person finds out that you have died.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Thank you. I, I need. I, I needed to be. I need something to soften the blow for everyone who's going to be sad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why don't you try softening the word softening?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I pronounced the T soften, which you believe should be silent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. Maybe it should be silent on silent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I don't mind that. Silent, silent, Silent. Silence. I demand you be silent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Raider.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I demand you be activate. Oh, my God. Silence.

[Scott Aukerman]

Should all tease. Be silent.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it'll be battle star. Why are you here?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By your command. I am here because I have a tour that's coming up very soon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. So you're going to another country and you're taking a tour of, like the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Grand tour of Europe, the continent?

[Scott Aukerman]

No. You are. You are a live performer.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, I'm alive.

[Scott Aukerman]

We went out together to do the comedy bang bang tour last year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So true, bestie.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we had a great time. Now you're back at it this year. Yes, but with a different show. So you're cheating on me now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's not true. We have an open relationship as far as shows are concerned.

[Scott Aukerman]

And variety, or variety rather, is your hall pass.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's correct. I do a show called Varietopia here in Los Angeles. I do it every other month at Lodge Room, California.

[Scott Aukerman]

And describe this show because I can't even conceive of what would happen.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Scott, quite simply, it's a variety show.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean? What does that mean?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That means many things happen in the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Many. But, but when you go see any show Many things happen. You don't go see a show and then like. Like you go see a play. Like Hamilton. Hamilton comes out and does one rap and then just sits there staring at you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, no, no, but here's. Here's the thing that happens. The one thing that happens.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although that's not a bad idea for a show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The Hamilton comes out, does one rap and stares at you. And that's the title.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Manuel, if you're listening, and I'm sure you are, this is an idea for a follow up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hamilton does one rap and stares.

[Scott Aukerman]

You must have one rap you cut out of the show. Now you don't even have to write anything new.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, hold on. Is it Hamilton Post death?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so he's an angel or devil?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or is it a prequel?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you become a devil if you go to hell?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It seems then you're like, on top of the hierarchy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. When you go to heaven, you don't become an angel, but you do look like an angel.

[Scott Aukerman]

She looks like an angel.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We depict people in heaven and let's face it, this is in cartoons. Yeah, sure, with halos and wear gowns and harps and sometimes wings, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

But then when people go to hell, they're just like, being tormented and they're just humans.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But you probably get horns. I hope so, because it would hurt for them to grow through your flesh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plus you could, like, poke Satan in the butt when he tries to stab you with his pitchfork or something.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think that's a bad idea. I think if you're in hell and you're trying to fight back, it's not going to end well.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're just going to sit there and take it, you pussy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think you. I think it behooves you to get used to.

[Scott Aukerman]

It behooves because demons have hooves.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful, wonderful work. And this is why you're one of America's great entertainers. Thank you. Out there on the road. Coming out soon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So let me describe the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Please.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do some stand up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stand up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There are musical guests.

[Scott Aukerman]

Musical guest. Nassim Pedro.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, we have probably talked about this before, but isn't it great that Don Pardo, who always sounded like a ghost, now has become one?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Finally he's crossed over into the realm he was always meant to be.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I have unfinished business.

[Scott Aukerman]

A bit of boiled potato.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Get out of this house.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess Scrooge said the thing about the underdone potato, but he said A chew.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A ghost.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So, I mean, I can only imagine Jacob Marley came back to heaven and went, this guy thought I was a bit of underdone potato. And so it counts.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What if Jacob Marley goes back and he goes, this guy tried to. He tried to roast me by calling me food. I think he was legitimately scared.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he was scared, Scrooge or.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, that's Jacob Marley saying, oh, I think I got him, though. I think I got him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't sense you were still in character. That's how good you are. And that's what's going to happen on this big tour.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a variety show. So there's comedy, there's music, there's other forms of entertainment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, like, like sports are entertainment sometimes people.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. In the past we've done the show where we've had a football game in.

[Scott Aukerman]

The middle, full regulation time, regulation field.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And now I'm proud to introduce our next act. A football game.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're only performing at arenas, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, we have to.

[Ben Jammin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If, if we do a football game.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Otherwise it's in time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I will say no football game on this tour. Oh, yes. But I don't, I don't like to announce who the guests are because I like it to be a surprise, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

It'S usually the biggest, most famous people in the world.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure. Usually. Not always, though. Try not to, try not to do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

To get the expectations way too high.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah. Or I, or say things where I have to say that cool thing that you just said is actually not what's gonna happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like that's working counter to what I'm trying to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

You see that Smart List documentary where they, they decided to just take normal like dentists, and the first time they did that, people were pissed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I heard about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. In any case, that's not what's happening here. You have wonderful comedians, wonderful musicians.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. And maybe I'll do a character. Maybe there'll be a sketch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I also sing in the show. We have a fantastic band.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's this song in the show that you're talking about?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

You also sing in the show?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, in the show. That's where you know that you've got a friend in me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is a song you've written for. Yeah, for Variaturpia.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. In the show, you've got to know that everyone slaps their knee. Cuz we've got laughs and music and everything else.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yo, My name is Hamilton and I'm here to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yo, my name is Hamilton.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm going to stare at you in an unconventional way.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Rap ends and then just 90 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Piercing stare.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Intermission.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I think so. But he's still staring during intermission.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Here's what I'm worried about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That we know each other so well. That you're not treating me seriously as somebody who's trying to promote.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would say that I'm treating you as seriously as any guest on this show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I want you to treat me like someone you don't know that well.

[Scott Aukerman]

That I'm nervous they're gonna flip out and get upset.

[Ben Jammin]

Happened.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's happened.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exactly. Treat me like someone you think doesn't have a sense of humor. And you're trying to gently bring me in to the vibe of the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Try to read reconnaissance. Reconnect my. My brain wires into doing that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, reconnect your brain wires.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. All right. So reconnect your brain wire. See, now here's the problem. Then you go into this kind of thing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, because you're making me feel comfortable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good.

[Guy Foreman]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway, that was a parody of who. Who? Nick Lache. I wanted to say. No, it's Neil Diamond.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Of course I'm Neil Diamond.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have a love. His brain on the. Love is brain on the mind. What is it? Love is blind. Blind.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's early.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And of course, I'm Nick Lache.

[Scott Aukerman]

He says he didn't say it this year. I. This is what I wanted to ask you about. What are you.

[Ben Jammin]

What are you talking about? This is what I wanted to ask you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I was watching Love is Blind the other day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The new season, I believe, is completely out at this point. So if I'm spoiling this particular aspect of it, I apologize, but it's your own fault for not watching it. But in previous seasons, he's come out with his wife, Vanessa Lachey, and Vanessa Lachey, the power imbalance. It was like the DC Universe imbalance. But she would come out and introduce herself and say, my name is Vanessa Lachey. And then he would say, and of course, I'm Nick Lachey, because he was the bigger star right now. They are both huge because of Love is Blind. She comes out and says, I'm Vanessa Lachey. And he just sits there and goes, and I'm Nick Lachey. Because they're equally as famous.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can I put a more positive spin on. And of course, I'm Nick Lachey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That. He's. I think he's. It's possible that he's putting himself in the co pilot position and saying, like, I mean, if she's Vanessa Lachey, of course, you got Nick Lachey here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every Vanessa has their Nick. Yeah, I see. I think it really work. I think it's possible, but not probable.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'll take it.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, tell me about this, this incredible show that you have going out there. It's Variaturpia. It is a touring version of Variety Topia.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which is a variety show. You come out, you do standup. There are sketches there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I do a monologue. There's sketches. There's a musical act who is always somebody really fun and neat doing their own set.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then do you have this same musical act on this entire tour or are you exchanging.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The tour will be the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Will be the same lineup for every stop. And let me. I just want to tell you the places I'm going. Oh, the places.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That I will go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So the. This is going to be exciting. This is. I don't know that we've ever done this on Comedy Bang Bang listed cities.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But here's the thing. We have the opportunity to provide some commentary on those cities.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Say, say the great things about these places. Some of these cities I've never been to before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. We. We did this on the Comedy Bang Bang tour last year. We went to tours, or cities, I guess you would call them. Yeah. For the lay person.

[Ben Jammin]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That we had never been to before. And it was a thrill.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It was a thrill.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

To. To bring show to a people for the first time.

[Scott Aukerman]

And there were a lot of people who said thank you for coming to our particular town. I never thought you would come through here.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that was wonderful to hear.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Penthouse Forum style. I never thought.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then they would tell us about their sexual encounters with random strangers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Usually at work with their hot boss.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they all ended with. And this ended with someone calling hr.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we all lost our jobs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. We all lost our jobs.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the business went under. Like Tyco toys.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We're starting April 23rd. We're going to be in Iowa City. Iowa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Never been there before. Incredible.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Iowa, Iowa City.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. I. I don't believe I've ever even been to Iowa City, let alone have done a show, let alone opened a tour there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But Iowa, of course, very dear to us. Because of the music man.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's nothing halfway about that way of thinking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course not. So Iowa City, you're out there in April.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. What a time to be in Iowa City.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Can you imagine? It's just like in the songs.

[Scott Aukerman]

April showers may be occurring, which of course, bring May flowers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right. So then I'll tell you when I'm in May in the cities.

[Scott Aukerman]

And male.

[Ben Jammin]

Does.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

St. Paul, Minnesota love it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course it's. I mean, your name is right there in the city.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't like to say this, but obviously that's why I like the city.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, of course, that's a wonderful theater. I. I know where you're playing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yes, you do.

[Scott Aukerman]

We played there last year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And great theater. And what. What a time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, you and I at the. The Fitzgerald Theater. You and I have both performed there separately and together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And they do a thing where the back wall of the theater of the stage is a brick wall, and you get to sign the bricks.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, you and I separately signed bricks there. And I believe you wrote Macbeth.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I wrote six.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Six semper tyrannis. And I wrote Macbeth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So two things you're not supposed to say in the thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you can say six emperor Tyranus in the theater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You really shouldn't. You really shouldn't. That one guy ruined it for everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone wanted to say it so much. You can. To be fair, you can say death to tyrants.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I would. I would say it in English. Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you're going to say six separate tyranus, translate.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Or maybe put it in another language just for fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. What would be in Italian? You're learning Italian. Oh, what does. Haven't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Haven't yet gotten.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sure that's coming up soon.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's got to be pretty close to the Latin, I would imagine.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, so after St. Paul, Madison, Wisconsin. Madison. Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wonderful town.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful town. We had a great show there last year.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's been a while. I. I really love Madison, and I'm excited to be bringing that there. Then Chicago, Illinois. This is the big shoulders.

[Scott Aukerman]

It doesn't sleep either, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that the city?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, that's New York City.

[Scott Aukerman]

It does go to sleep. So every other city. Every other city goes to sleep.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. New York is a city that never sleeps.

[Ben Jammin]

I.

[Scott Aukerman]

If I were Chicago, I would be like, we don't go to sleep either. And then I would stay up and make sure it happens.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You have to prove it. Exactly. That's why? More cities don't do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I don't want to stay up all night.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Royal Oak, Michigan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Royal Oak.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We've been there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very close to Detroit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, but it's not Detroit.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not Detroit. I think the first time I ever went there, I just assumed we were in Detroit. And I said Detroit and I. I got booed.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. People have real Royal Oak pride.

[Scott Aukerman]

They do. And it's a wonderful theater there.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. And they have a king. That's a tree.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the Royal oak.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. And they all bow down to it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They do.

[Scott Aukerman]

He can't talk or move, but they take their orders from.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They do.

[Ben Jammin]

Like, what's that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's that tree? Okay. We will boil them in oil.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the one thing. If you go to the show, you may be boiled in oil because a tree said so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At. At Royal Oak.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's the only place. Have you ever heard of Lakewood, Ohio?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, you just did now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Holy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And that's where I'm going.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that by Cleveland or. Or what?

[Ben Jammin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Wow. It is fantastic.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

By Cleveland.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I'm sure it's by whatever lake is over there, too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wood Lake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Wood Lake. Where the lake is made of wood.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's just.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're walking on planks.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's a roller rink. Let's be clear. That lake is a roller rink.

[Scott Aukerman]

More, you know, like in the lakes in the States that don't get cold enough to freeze over with ice, they should just cover it with wood planks. Lakes in States that don't get covered in ice should be covered with some wood. Everyone wants to skate around on a lake.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Simply everyone does, so why not?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You think this is where it's ironic because you think, oh, ice skates. No, no. Roller skates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Roller skates.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. You didn't see that coming, did you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Shouldn't they be wood skates? Like we call ice skates ice skates because you're skating on ice. But we don't call roller skates. They should be like cement skates or wood skates.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, see, now, you see, ice skates you only use on ice.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Roller skates you can use on multiple terrains.

[Scott Aukerman]

You could use ice skates on any frozen substance, I would imagine. Interesting. Like pudding pops.

[Ben Jammin]

I mean, could you skate on a.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Lake of pudding pops?

[Scott Aukerman]

Frozen pudding pops, or like a creme brulee, maybe?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, I know that's hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's hardened sugar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's too fragile.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would do it, though, if you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Could bust through with a Spoon. Once you get a person on skates up there, even the biggest creme brulee in the world, you're going to go right through.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, where are you going to next?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm glad you asked because for the first time, Varietopia going to another country.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now I love. I love my canadia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I can't wait to be back. I can't wait to bring this show there for the very first time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was talking to someone who just did a touring show up there. No, up in Canada, in a different city. And they said that everyone was very mad at them and all the suggestions that were thrown out were all like, tariffs dei.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Well, guess what? I'm doing a show that does not involve suggestions.

[Scott Aukerman]

So if you don't bring any.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, please don't yell out tariffs. In any case, please don't consider me.

[Ben Jammin]

An ambassador from the United States of America.

[Scott Aukerman]

This person was saying was like, I'm just a dummy. Like, why are you shouting?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm just going there to bring you some entertainment.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't bring any of this anger back with me and affect any kind of change.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I did not vote for that man. So please keep that in mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry to this man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I am not sorry to this man.

[Scott Aukerman]

To the small. All right, so we're four cities in. I would assume that's where it ends.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, because guess what? Wake up. It's time to go to the city that never sleeps.

[Guy Foreman]

Whoa. New York.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I'm gonna be at Irving Plaza. This is my first time doing the show in Manhattan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, incredible. And are you doing it in the middle of the night? Because the city never goes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's gonna be a 4:00am show.

[Ben Jammin]

Well, that, that's all.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a little too close to morning. What do you. I would consider. What do you think? 2 or 3am the middle of the night.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. It's hard because when you're talking about it, I'm assuming this is about a two hour program or so.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

90 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

90 minutes or so. You're. You're edging into the morning, which is what I was doing last night, as a matter of fact.

[Ben Jammin]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What do you think? 1am, middle of the night? I mean, midnight.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. Really? The one. Really Too close to midnight. Yeah, I, I think middle 2am even is like a lot of people are up at 2am 3. I think you're right. 3.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That feels like the middle feels like if the phone rang, you would assume the worst. You would absolutely say it's the middle of the night.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why are you calling me in the middle of the night? And then they say, well, because someone's in the hospital. Then you say, well, okay, now, I'm sorry. I assumed you had no good reason to call me at 3am and you were being a jerk. But it turns out I'm the jerk because I'm sleepy. Boston, Massachusetts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. You know, this list is getting exciting.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this is your hometown. Hometown show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I'm playing the theater of the Living Arts, which is very meaningful to me on South Street. I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you go to there a lot?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I used. I used to go first. It was a. It was an art house movie first.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was an art house movie theater. I was petrified.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Then it became a performance venue and then I saw a bunch of shows there as, As a. As an audience.

[Scott Aukerman]

Remember, it was a thrill to play the. When. When we played Philly one of the first few times because. Because I would hear shows from the Trocadero live. Live.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. It's always a thrill when you get to play one of these theaters. Like I played the Wiltern, not with Comedy Bang Bang. We couldn't fill that. But I. I did it with Mr. Show and that was fun. And yeah, it's always great.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I played the TLA one time before when I was a young stand of comedians.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I opened for Leon Redbone and I bombed.

[Scott Aukerman]

So we'll see if the same thing happens. I'm looking for Leon Redbone, return to play with you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He. If he shows up and says, I'm going on after your show, I'll be so mad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think the Eagles will come to this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The football team? Yeah, of course they will.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now we should make clear, if you're one of the Eagles listening, there's no football game in the middle of this show.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, not this time. From what I understand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would you make an exception?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I invited them and from what I understand, the response from the team was a massive yes. Washington, D.C. wow. Durham, N.C. love it. Atlanta, Ga. Great. Portland, Oregon. Seattle, Washington. Vancouver, Canada.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, I'm going a lot of places.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is almost too many places to even fathom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And guess what, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

More are going to be announced.

[Scott Aukerman]

More are going to be announced. This is incredible tour. Certainly a jaunt that you're going to be embarking upon. And your only goal and mission from, from what you've been telling me, is to entertain not only America, but everyone abroad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, my goal and mission are the same thing. And it is what you said to entertain everyone in America, regardless of whether or not I'm coming to your city and the entire world.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, do you think you'll hit this goal?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Two cities in Canada.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think you'll achieve this?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Well, the whole world is my stretch goal. So first, if I do entertain everyone in America, then I'm going to head for entertaining the entire world by going to two cities in Canada.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe two things. One, you're going to be starring in a movie above the title before you die. And two, you're going to get there. You're going to hit every single person in the world.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Every single.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe in you. I have faith in you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Even Vladimir Putin.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you'll get to him eventually.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think he'll like it?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he would like. I think he. Honestly, he probably has so many people coming in and kissing his ass all day.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Which world leader do you think would like my show the most?

[Scott Aukerman]

The most?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think Macaron would certainly find it amusing. Teresa May. Is that someone? I don't know? Wow. Wow. Who was that one guy with the messy hair? Boris.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Boris Johnson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Johnson.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now it's Keir Starmer. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's a great name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it is a good name. It hasn't penetrated over to me yet. You know what I mean? He needs better brand.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's got to penetrate over.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? Like Boris Johnson. It was a combo of his name being Boris, his hair being messy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And him having, like, little short ties.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did he have a little short time?

[Scott Aukerman]

So everything kind of.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Did you like the opposite? Trump.

[Scott Aukerman]

He looks sort of like a little like Chris Farley character, all of that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

The combination of it all finally, like, penetrated my consciousness where I was like, I know who that is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think Boris, he was named after Boris the Spider?

[Scott Aukerman]

I hope so. From one of the best who songs. Wouldn't you agree it's my favorite, Boris the Spider. I love it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is it funny? Bands of a certain era where they were like, let's just put this on a record.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know what we do is really popular, but let's do something we don't do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Also, I would. I really had hoped at some point the CSI franchise would expand so much that they would have to eventually use Boris the Spider as one of their theme songs.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're saying another franchise, another installment of Franchise would have claimed Ivor the Engine Driver.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Mama's Got a Squeeze Box. And then finally it gets to. Well, all we have Is Boris the Spider left. So this is.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

We've used fiddling about.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is an incredible tour. My only question now is I'm lost as to how to find any information or buy tickets.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, my God, Scott. It couldn't be simpler.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You go to paulftompkins.com live.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. I bet you could even go to pauloftompkins.com and there would be a sidebar that said live and you could click on that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, but that's for lawyers.

[Scott Aukerman]

The sidebar technique.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I only advise lawyers to go to the main page of the site.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's one little thing on the side that says, may I approach the bench?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's another that says sidebar.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, Pauliftompkins.com live you get all of the information regarding times that it starts. Does it start at the same time every night or different times? I bet different times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I bet different times. Yeah. But all around the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

Around 8ish, I would imagine. And this is a good time at the theater. This is something that you can bring your loved ones to. I can only imagine you could bring your family to if they're not your loved ones. Sure. I can only imagine you can bring your extended family, too.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. If you have step siblings, go through your family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cousins, go through your family tree.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

If you have play cousins, whoever's still.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alive, hit them up.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

To meet you at the theater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Guy Foreman]

For variety.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Topia, guess what? You can bring not only your loved ones. Bring your most hated enemies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And maybe you'll find some common ground.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. But in any case, it's good to have them in your sight lines at all times.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you don't want to be murdered by them. So it's always good to.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I don't like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And I don't want to catch any strays.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many murders will be at this show, do you think? Like in the audience during a show?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I hate to make promises. I'm, I'm, I'm going to say I suspect there will be zero murders.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I would think that would be a nice round number that you would want to hit.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But again, if there is a murder in the show, I, I'm not saying this is going to be a murder free show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not a guarantee.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I can't promise that.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But I ask. I'm going to ask people, please don't murder people at my show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Make sure there's a sign going into the theater.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Like those signs. Some theaters have to say, don't bring your gun in here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't bring your gun to town, boy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But look, I want to tell people, yes, this show is my favorite thing to do. It's really such a. A complete expression of all my favorite things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Completely curated by you.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes, it is from my soul. And if you like me, you will like this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. And I'm excited.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm gonna say if you're iffy on me, you'll like this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

If people don't like you, I still think they might like the show. I think they'll come around on it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

There's parts of it that aren't me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, wonderful varietopia coming to a city near you. More cities to be announced. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we have someone who is working in the illustrative field. That's very exciting, isn't it, Paul?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we'll have more. Paul F. Tompkins, more Comedy Bang Bang. We'll be right back after this. This podcast is brought to you by Hulu.

[Ben Jammin]

Hey everybody. Hulu has a bunch of new stand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Up specials that are not just funny, they're hilarious. Very funny, Hulu.

[Ben Jammin]

Anyway, they're launching new exclusive stand up specials from awesome comedians like Jim Gavigan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ilana glaser, Roy Wood Jr. Bill Burr, and tons more. A new special drops every month and they've got a huge library of stand up specials to check out. Go to Hulu and get your stand up fix now. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's your support system in life? I mean, not for your house or I mean in life. And how have they changed? You know, when's a time where asking for support from a therapist was helpful? I think that's the most helpful thing you can do. I mean, think about your favorite leaders, mentors and idols. They don't have all the answers right, but they do know when to ask questions or seek support from their community. In a society that glorifies hyper independence, it can be easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. And therapy can be a source of support for any area of your life. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing that we're better when we ask for help. BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easily switch therapists Anytime, at no extra cost. So build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Bang Bang. To get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L P.com Bang Bang. You know, when you own a business, you gotta wear a lot of different hats. You know, the pirate hat, the fancy top hat. No, no, no. I mean all the roles you have to play when you run a business, even if tech isn't your thing. Kinsta's managed WordPress hosting is a relief. Their expert team, they handle it all. What they've done is they've bundled up all the essentials to make sites stress free with speeds that will wow your visitors, security that never sleeps, and a dashboard. Oh, this dashboard. It's so intuitive. You'll wonder why everything isn't this easy. Imagine your site, okay, running at warp speed. Just by switching to Kinsta, your website could run up to 2, 100% faster. And if you ever need help, you'll get real WordPress pros, not these AI chat bots. Experts who respond in minutes and tackle even the trickiest problems. No scripts, just actual people who know their stuff. They want to help. Are you tired of being your own website support team? Switch your hosting to Kinsta and get your first month for free. And don't worry about the move. They'll handle the whole transition for you. No expertise in the tech sector required. All you have to do is visit kinsta.com bang to get started. That's K-I N S T A.com Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. We are back. Paula Tompkins is here. Varietopia, AKA Variety is out there. Going to be barnstorming across this country and one other country very soon. In about a month's time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

How are you preparing to be gone for this amount of time?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm packing clothes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yes. You didn't last tour.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

This is something I learned the hard way. You're gonna need clothes. Like when you're at home, you have all your clothes there.

[Scott Aukerman]

I remember one time you, you showed up to the airport with loose clothes in your arms that you were just like carrying.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, I did have them in my. In my arms. I had a bunch of clothes in my arms. And then it was my wonderful wife who said, what if you put them in a suitcase?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what suitcases some would say are for.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A case for suits.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm like, I'm a suit guy. I need one of those.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's interesting we don't call them Clothes cases. But they were for suits back in the day. Exclusively.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exclusively. You couldn't put shoes in them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nope. Nor toiletries. Do you put toiletries in your suitcase?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, just loose. I don't like those containers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know why? Because the TSA says you're supposed to have that.

[Scott Aukerman]

TSA say?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

TSA say put toiletries in container.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In a little clear pouch.

[Scott Aukerman]

When we were going all over America, it's interesting how every airport has a different take on what you can do and what you can't do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Almost like it's intentionally confusing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's great that it's not standardized.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then we would get to England and surprise, here's a bunch of stuff you can't do that. Yeah. That only we say you can't do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What I really like is that metal detectors are calibrated differently everywhere you go. And so sometimes a belt you wear will be fine nine times out of 10, and the 10th time you have to take it off sometimes. Shoes. Oh, I didn't know these shoes had metal in them at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

The one thing that seemed standardized was the. The comedy bang bang stickers that I was carrying in one suitcase would get me taken to the side every single time because they couldn't figure out what they were.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. When they see a shape that they can't recognize, they're like, this is probably a bomb.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we need to get to our next guest, Paul. He is a comic book anchor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Exciting.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have read a few comic books in your life?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In my day, yes, I have. I worked at a comic book store. Dear.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't know that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, it's called Comics and more on South Street.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think that's come up on threedom.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I was fired for being late twice.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's about the number of times I would fire someone.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And the assistant manager said. No, it was the manager who said, look, if I don't fire you, the assistant manager will report that I didn't fire you and then he'll have my job.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gotta respect that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Gotta respect that. Also great place to work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I can only imagine. So you have a little experience in the field.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, yeah. I know who Omaha the cat dancer is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, of course, am currently writing Astonishing Spider man for Marvel. So we. I think we're going to be good interviewers.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And of course, I'm writing Everyday Spider Man.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. The everyday boring adventures.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He's a different guy. Not Peter Parker.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nope.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And nothing really happens to him.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No. He wears a sweater that has a spider on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a real spider, not embroidered.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, he doesn't know. That's the most exciting thing about the comic.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, let's talk to him and welcome him to the show. Please welcome Guy Foreman Scott.

[Guy Foreman]

Thank you so much for having me.

[Scott Aukerman]

My pleasure, Guy. Can I call you guy? It feels weird to call another man Guy. Like, I'm saying, like, hey, guy.

[Guy Foreman]

Right? You're just.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're.

[Guy Foreman]

But it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is your name?

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like if my first name was dude or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, Dude.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Ever pronounce it ghee?

[Guy Foreman]

Gosh, no. I should. If I go to France, I should, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, why not?

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Maybe I'll start.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I mean, they're gonna do that.

[Guy Foreman]

I might as well get ready now in case I ever do go to France.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think your work will take you to France or would you go there on vacation?

[Guy Foreman]

I bet you it would be work related. I can't imagine going to France for fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why? I went for fun once. It was fun.

[Guy Foreman]

Oh, really? That worked out?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it all worked out. Oh, it just seems fun equals fun.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Hey, man, explain to me what a comic book inker does.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, a lot of people who don't know what comic books, how they're put together, they don't know. What are you even talking about when you talk about inking?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

Before I answer that, can I just say what a pleasure it is to talk to two people with experience in the field?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, well, thank you.

[Guy Foreman]

I'm experiencing pleasure, honestly. Nice. I don't know if you could tell from my voice. I'm filled with joy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Are you? You're a person, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not a robot?

[Guy Foreman]

No, I'm full person.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Guy Foreman]

Full all the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

I try to have a little bit of experience in every single. With every single guest in the field. Of every single guest.

[Guy Foreman]

You can't do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

For instance, Ione sky was. Was. Was here last week, and she is both a movie star and an author. And I've done both of those.

[Guy Foreman]

You've been a movie star?

[Scott Aukerman]

Austin Powers gold member. Of course. And so I try to have a look.

[Guy Foreman]

Of course.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Does this look familiar?

[Guy Foreman]

Oh, yes. There he is. Oh, no. Yes, that makes sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

So in any case, I am so relieved that we're talking about comic books because both of both Paul and I have a little experience.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But tell everyone I can finally relax.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, tell everyone what you mean when you say ink.

[Guy Foreman]

And so comic books.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now that we've gotten the. Thanking us for having.

[Guy Foreman]

Now that I got that out of the way.

[Ben Jammin]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

Stopped everything.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now explain yourself.

[Guy Foreman]

I stopped the momentum so that I can say thank you. I did it. You're doing it. And. Okay, sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now we are further stopping it. And I don't mean by talking about it.

[Guy Foreman]

I don't want to stop.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

0 minutes since a momentum stopped incident.

[Guy Foreman]

That's right. So let's get right to it. I don't mean to delay that anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course.

[Guy Foreman]

You're asking me what an anchor does.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let us tarry no further and let us discuss the very topic at hand, which is what does. An ingredient.

[Guy Foreman]

What does an.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Because.

[Guy Foreman]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

To the.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I would like to know, and I think other people would like to know.

[Guy Foreman]

I think that's right, and I would love to say it. In fact, on my way over here, I was thinking I better be ready to explain it.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's going to be pleasurable for everyone involved, both the listener and for us in conversation, to hear exactly what you're talking about.

[Guy Foreman]

Can I push back on that a little bit? Because I am experiencing pleasure already. I do think it is going to be pleasurable, but that's not to imply I'm not experiencing pleasure. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me just say the pleasure shall continue.

[Guy Foreman]

Oh, yes, exactly. That's. That I would sign off on Toon Suite. And how was that a pushback? Well, I just didn't want to. It was a pushback.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was more of a clarification.

[Guy Foreman]

Clarification. Less of a pushback and a preemptive arguing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So. Well, you were preemptively trying to manage expectations.

[Guy Foreman]

Yes. If somebody thought if I agreed to the fact that it would be pleasurable, I could imagine some people being like, oh, yes, having a crappy time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Yeah. That's not me. That's not my style.

[Guy Foreman]

That's not your style.

[Scott Aukerman]

The.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

The premise was it will be pleasurable for people who do not yet know.

[Guy Foreman]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, actually, you're right.

[Guy Foreman]

It's not a push pushback.

[Scott Aukerman]

My premise was that it will be pleasurable for every listener as well as the three of us discussing it.

[Guy Foreman]

Okay. I think that's right. I want to say.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's why you say you're already experiencing pleasure.

[Guy Foreman]

Correct. But I do think it was a. You're. I want to accept your pushback. That when I said I was pushing back, it wasn't a pushback and it was a clarification.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I believe we.

[Guy Foreman]

Great. We're all set.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're out of quorum.

[Guy Foreman]

I can see in your face that you're ready to move on.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is an anchor?

[Guy Foreman]

So an anchor, easy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're holding a pen right now. Are you doing it right now?

[Guy Foreman]

I'm ready to ink at any.

[Ben Jammin]

Oh, wow.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, I'm ready to ink. I feel like whenever you have an occupation, you should walk around with your implement.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Guy Foreman]

Like as if you're an action figure of yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

So if you're an angioplasty specialist, you should have a stent at the ready.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, that's right.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Sure.

[Guy Foreman]

If you are an angioplasty specialist. Not a generalist. Not someone who can do it on the side.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. But. Okay.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Just carrying a stint.

[Guy Foreman]

An inker is somebody. So in the comic book biz, you have to. There's a lot of drawings, as you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. What do. What normally happens is why don't you just say, you know what?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I've noticed that there are a lot of drawings.

[Scott Aukerman]

Almost too many.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's wild how many. I. Because I'll turn the page. Like, more drawings.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. You're ready for the story to keep going.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

And it's all drawing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Any minute now, it's just going to be straight prose.

[Guy Foreman]

I would say almost every page of a comic book has at least one drawing.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I. I'm gonna go as far as to say, like, do we need all of them? You know, like, it's like all of our governmental workers. Let's just fire half of them.

[Guy Foreman]

I'm glad you said it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? Let's. Let's. Let's take out half of these drawings and we'll still get it.

[Guy Foreman]

Well, Alan Moore solved that problem by ending his comics with 16 page of unbroken prosecution. Right. People like the real reference. Okay, so inking.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who didn't love that pirate ship?

[Ben Jammin]

Part of Watchmen?

[Guy Foreman]

Everybody. Oh, favorite.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I skipped the regular story.

[Guy Foreman]

Just only the pirates.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Thrilling pirate. Oh, my gosh. In any case, an inker.

[Guy Foreman]

So there's all these.

[Scott Aukerman]

The writer writes the comic, then the. The draw the pencil. The penciler interprets these into pictures, these.

[Guy Foreman]

Writings into pictures, breaks it down into a storyboard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Break it down.

[Guy Foreman]

If I could put it in movie terms.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. And then what the inker does is takes these sometimes fully fleshed out pencils, sometimes quite rough. Quite rough, and then finishes. Solidifies them. Finishes them in the blackest of ink. In order to. Back in the day, it was in order to.

[Guy Foreman]

So they would show up on the printing process. Yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wait, so you trace?

[Guy Foreman]

I trace, yes. That's often a pejorative way to describe my profession is to Say it's a tracer. And truly, if the pencil. Well, okay, if the pencil is diligent and they're very. And they're very finished, I am essentially.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You're say fentanyl?

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, I was gonna say if.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now, is that a problem in your industry?

[Guy Foreman]

Yes, it's an. Unfortunately, a problem in almost every industry now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You know, it makes people drop dead. That's why they like it.

[Guy Foreman]

It's scary. It's a legit problem. And, yeah, it's bad.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. It's strange that it's such a. It's a. It's a drug that's used so much that there's an epidemic. But also, if a policeman touches it, he'll die immediately.

[Guy Foreman]

It is weird. Yeah, that's weird that that happens.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, enough people use it that it's constantly coming through our porous borders.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Porous borders. And it's all over the place.

[Scott Aukerman]

And yet, if a police officer even brushes against it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, they die. If they enter a room with a trace of fentanyl, they will die.

[Guy Foreman]

They'll explode.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But children are using it all the.

[Guy Foreman]

Time, recreationally, and 19 times out of 20, they're having a blast, actually. I don't know, it seems like they're having a ball. Nothing negative associated with that except for the deaths. And where was I? Inking. So if the penciler is either hurried or lazy, you'll get unfinished drawings, and it is your job as the inker to finish it up and actually fill in blanks to add backgrounds, to connect, shadow, add detail, make a lot of artistic decisions.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Why did we mention diligence if they.

[Guy Foreman]

Have completed their pencils?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, then you're just a tracer.

[Guy Foreman]

Then I'm just tracing.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But if these people that were hired for this job for some reason are lazy or rushing the job or overloaded.

[Guy Foreman]

A lot of time. Yes, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you said lazy like Herbie. Like Herbie was overloaded. I think he was fully loaded first.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

He was fully loaded, but then they made a sequel.

[Scott Aukerman]

They added one suitcase on top.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Herbie was like, I. I can't do this.

[Guy Foreman]

I thought you meant Herbie Hancock. And I was like, was he. Was he a multitasking, which is an.

[Scott Aukerman]

Older reference.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Leads nicely into actual F, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good mashup.

[Guy Foreman]

And that wasn't. Didn't the Art of Noise have some kind of instrumental out? Too close to Peter Gunn. Peter Gunn.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Peter Gunn.

[Guy Foreman]

They were all out within, like, six months of each other.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's right.

[Guy Foreman]

An inker will sometimes have to Do a lot of drawing if the pencil is in a hurry a lot of times. A pencil.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Or lazy, as you said.

[Guy Foreman]

Or lazy. So if a pencil is lazy and they're trying to scam a lot of work.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So not just lazy, but dishonest as well.

[Guy Foreman]

Dishonest, manipulative or con artist.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes. How did this person get this job?

[Guy Foreman]

Well, they'll do like, they'll do good for one issue.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Guy Foreman]

And they'll be like, hey, do a second one. And then they just start to fart. They find out that the inker is good.

[Scott Aukerman]

So why are you an inker and not a pencilr?

[Guy Foreman]

Yes, that's a great question. And I. I agree. I just. I can't think of any ideas. I need someone to get me started.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you read. How does it happen? You read the script.

[Guy Foreman]

If I were to get a script and they'd be like, well, you know. And I've never worked for Marvel or dc. I've only done indie.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Now in the script, it'll say something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Indiana Jones.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. I've worked mostly just for Indiana Jones.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You worked for Indiana Jones.

[Guy Foreman]

Indiana Jones is a comic book. In the movie portrayal of him is that he is an archaeologist and a professor. But the real Indiana Jones is a comic book writer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me guess. When he gets your inks, he looks at them and says, these belong in a museum. Yeah. And I'm like, thank you.

[Guy Foreman]

Because for him, that's a comic.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's.

[Guy Foreman]

For him, that's a highest praise. For anyone else, that'd be like, it's a true slam. There's no other way to realize it's super true.

[Scott Aukerman]

So then guy or G, if you're in France, why, thank you for coming.

[Guy Foreman]

That's good practice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you not a pencil or you can't.

[Guy Foreman]

I can't come up. So as the script might say Captain America. I don't even punches Kang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'm imagining it right now.

[Guy Foreman]

Are you? Because I. My blank. My mind's a blank. I don't know what to do.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

When you hear. When you read Captain America, do you have an I. Do you have a picture in your mind of what Captain America looks?

[Guy Foreman]

I mean, I know what he looks like, but if I try to summon what he might look like punching, I can't.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So you. When you hear Captain America, you picture him just standing there?

[Scott Aukerman]

I picture or like, like Alexander Hamilton just sitting there staring at the audience.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

After he's done his rap.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Guy Foreman]

I. I picture a stick figure holding a sign that says, I'm Captain America.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

I don't even. I.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's somehow more elaborate than picturing Captain America just standing there.

[Guy Foreman]

Well, I don't know what to tell you. That's what comes to mind.

[Scott Aukerman]

So does he have the mask on or this stick figure he's just got.

[Guy Foreman]

He's a. It's a featureless stick figure.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Not even the two dots for eyes.

[Guy Foreman]

Not even two dots.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Wow.

[Guy Foreman]

Just a circle with a. With a. With a two line neck.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Guy Foreman]

And. And he's got to sign the two line. Two line neck. Yeah, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like that.

[Guy Foreman]

I'll draw it for you like that.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, wow.

[Guy Foreman]

Two line neck.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So not even the whole.

[Guy Foreman]

This is all I could do. I'll just do it for you right now. Like, this is all I could. I'm just drawing for these folks. I know that's not great for I. Captain M. That's.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I. Captain M. That's what I would.

[Guy Foreman]

That's all I can picture. Captain M. But if somebody were to give me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And he's holding the sign with two. With both arms.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or that's a two line arm.

[Guy Foreman]

No, no, it's a one line arm.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a one line arm. Because I see two lines.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But see, you can do the legs and then you also. Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And the penis, by the way, is the most realistic thing there's really the most.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, the most detailed.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you've drawn the veins on it. You've drawn I. Captain America uncircumcised.

[Guy Foreman]

I. He. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Apparently he manscapes.

[Guy Foreman]

I think he's got genitals. I mean, I think like the super soldier serum, probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

You, you think are. Are superheroes out there in the MCU.

[Guy Foreman]

And the MC and the M and.

[Scott Aukerman]

The M. Night Shyamalan, they all have.

[Guy Foreman]

Genitals, I would imagine. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

These, like, experiments with gamma rays didn't just eradicate their genitalia.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Even though Dr. Bruce Banner was pelted with gamma rays.

[Guy Foreman]

I think he kept his genitals. Yeah, I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

Explain why he was so mad all the time.

[Guy Foreman]

If it, if he lost his genitals.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Do you think they shrink? That's why he keeps like a tumor, like radiation.

[Scott Aukerman]

A good question.

[Guy Foreman]

Like, you know, well, the action figures never have genitals.

[Scott Aukerman]

No matter if.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Never.

[Scott Aukerman]

No matter if you, like, pump up your muscles in the gym, your penis still stays the same size.

[Guy Foreman]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's nothing you can do, Right? So the Hulk, he gets huge and big, but his penis probably stays the same size. It must be so tiny.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

That's A great point.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Because the gamma rays are just what would happen if you worked out at a time.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah. Even though you can make your hands bigger.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you know what I mean, like, it must be so disappointing for the Hulk to be, like, huge and he's got the proportionately small penis.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

So disappointing.

[Guy Foreman]

He must be so just. He must be so melancholy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He must be all the time. I mean, I bet he's angry. You know what, Guy? We are running out of time on this. Well, when we come back, we're gonna have more Guy Foreman. This is exciting. We finally learned what he does. Now we're gonna learn why he does it. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Now you can get Disney plus and Hulu together for just 2.99amonth for four months.

[Guy Foreman]

We sure would love that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get both and watch Marvel's Daredevil, Born.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Again again, and Moana 2 on Disney Plus. Can I get a Chihu on Hulu? Check out Good American Family and Paradise.

[Ben Jammin]

Call it in now.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Disney plus and Hulu together for just 2.99amonth. All of these and more. Streaming soon. New and returning subscribers 18 + only after four months.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plan auto renews at 10.99amonth until canceled offer ends.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

3:30, 25 terms apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is your child struggling with a specific subject or need help with their homework? Well, IXL Learning is an online learning program for kids. It covers math, language arts, science, and social studies. Now, if your child is struggling, this is the smartest investment you can make. Let's contrast this. A single hour of tutoring costs more than a month of IXL. One subscription gets you everything. And IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. my child is not old enough to study these things yet, but by all accounts, school has gotten even harder than when I was in there. Every kid needs help, and this is the perfect way to do it. Make an impact on your child's learning by getting IXL now and Comedy Bang Bang listeners. You can get exclusively 20% off IXL memberships when you sign up [e-mail] Bang Bang. Visit ixl.com Bang Bang to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Thanks, ixl. As a small business owner, you don't have the luxury of clocking out early. Your business is on your mind 24 7. So when you're hiring, you need a partner that grinds just as hard as you do. And that hiring partner is LinkedIn jobs. Yay. When you clock out, LinkedIn clocks in. They make it easy to post your job for free. Share it with your network and get qualified candidates that you can manage all in one place. And LinkedIn's new feature can help you write job descriptions. Then quickly get your job in front of the right people with deep candidate insights. Find out why more than 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring today. Post your job for [e-mail] Bang Bang. That's LinkedIn.com Bang Bang. To post your job for free, terms and conditions apply. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Scott Aukerman here with Comedy Bang Bang. Unfortunately, Paul F. Tompkins had to leave.

[Guy Foreman]

He had to leave, and I think he did know that was going to happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think he got upset about the whole abduction. No, I get that slam at the end of our last segment, and I apologize.

[Guy Foreman]

Paul, if you're listening to this recording, I apologize, Jesse.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They really believe I'm gone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you hear that? No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

They don't know I'm up in the.

[Guy Foreman]

I didn't hear it. I should. Part of a lot of my hearing range has been removed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bit intentionally removed.

[Guy Foreman]

I had the high. The high frequencies and the low frequencies kind of slid off surgically. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why?

[Guy Foreman]

I had a. I had a yappy dog and a basie grandfather, and I didn't want to hear. And I didn't want to hear either of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

I get that.

[Guy Foreman]

So I just was like, hey, you know what? Not my problem anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

I get that guy Foreman is here, Comic book inker, and Paul's gone.

[Guy Foreman]

It's the same because he was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And I don't know.

[Guy Foreman]

He's just temporarily.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't even suspect that he might still be here.

[Guy Foreman]

I don't either. Why would we? We saw him leave.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we saw him.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. It would be disrespectful to him for us to think he was here after we.

[Scott Aukerman]

I take everything he does at face value because I don't think there's any kind of manipulation going on or anything like that.

[Guy Foreman]

You are a man who does not suspect guile.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

It's like when Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn went to their own funeral.

[Guy Foreman]

You know, I am hearing something. The. The. The. The frequencies must be dipping down out of the trouble.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dipping down a little.

[Guy Foreman]

Hearing a little something.

[Scott Aukerman]

I heard a little something. I heard something about Huckleberry.

[Guy Foreman]

You know what it probably is? It's probably your audiobook playing over the recording equipment.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's probably what it is. I. I had an audiobook going Right before the. The show started.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. So that's probably what it is. And you'll have to edit that out or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was reading Tom Sawyer, and I hadn't gotten to the part where it says he, he, he. This is like when Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn go to their own funeral.

[Guy Foreman]

It's a very meta book.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Guy Foreman, you. You're a comic book inker. You explained what it is. Why do you do it?

[Guy Foreman]

Well, for the love. And. And I love the medium of comic books.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you love about that?

[Guy Foreman]

I love the stories. I love the.

[Scott Aukerman]

The power fantasy of it all. Were you a sad little boy?

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. You know what? I'll admit I wouldn't put it like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Little nerdy little boy. To read power fantasies about big, strong men in order to feel like that's.

[Ben Jammin]

Who needs the stories most of all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. Excuse me, sir. We're in the middle of a conversation.

[Ben Jammin]

I'm so sorry. I just wanted to see my old friend Guy Foreman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait a minute.

[Guy Foreman]

You know, I do know this.

[Ben Jammin]

Remember me?

[Guy Foreman]

Is that you should say it just so that I just. Because I feel like I know that you love to announce yourself, and obviously.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know who you are now that you've stepped into the light.

[Ben Jammin]

That's right, faithful friend. It's me, Ben Jammin, comic book mogul extraordinaire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ben Jam.

[Ben Jammin]

Except for Taranis, my famous catchphrase.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Guy Foreman]

Oh, Ben, I gotta say, it's nice to see you.

[Ben Jammin]

It's nice to see you. And thank you for promoting the comical arts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, Ben.

[Guy Foreman]

My pleasure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you know that guy over here was gonna be here or.

[Ben Jammin]

I did. I keep tabs on all my former employees.

[Scott Aukerman]

I can't believe that you worked for Ben Jammen.

[Guy Foreman]

I've done. As a. As a contractor. I did some work for hire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, like on his house or.

[Guy Foreman]

I just worked for hire on his house.

[Ben Jammin]

One of your first jobs, if I'm not much mistaken.

[Guy Foreman]

Put some insulation in the attic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Some.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Not all. My house peppered some insulation here and there.

[Ben Jammin]

Freezing cold.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's bad for a mess.

[Guy Foreman]

Hug. Some drywall. Some just here and there.

[Ben Jammin]

There's big gaps in the walls where.

[Scott Aukerman]

The breeze comes through with a. Wintertime, less is more.

[Guy Foreman]

That's what they say. In contrast acting.

[Ben Jammin]

I don't know why they do it, but they do say it a lot.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

But.

[Guy Foreman]

And I've also done some comic book work for. For Ben.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my gosh, Ben. Of course. Every listener who's interested in the field knows who you are.

[Ben Jammin]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Take us through your resume.

[Ben Jammin]

I was the creator of Basie grandfather.

[Scott Aukerman]

Basie grandfather was you? Wow.

[Guy Foreman]

Yes. And I had a real one.

[Ben Jammin]

He was based on Count Basie. And he was an old man who played the upright bass. But in times of turmoil, he could climb inside it to become an invincible crime fighter.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, I remember the first issue was very complicated. It was a 50 page debut issue to explain all the powers of Basie grandfather.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then once he becomes invincible, there's no drama anymore, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

He just wins straight up.

[Ben Jammin]

You'd be surprised because he does have a weakness.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, so he's not invincible? Invincible. Other than one.

[Ben Jammin]

Other than one week.

[Scott Aukerman]

An Achilles heel.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what was his weakness?

[Ben Jammin]

His Achilles tendon.

[Guy Foreman]

It was literally his Achilles tendon.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you could just slice that and.

[Ben Jammin]

He would fall every 10 issues.

[Scott Aukerman]

Every 10? Yeah. What happens in the other nine?

[Guy Foreman]

Smooth sailing.

[Ben Jammin]

He beats up the criminal.

[Guy Foreman]

Yes. I did some work on Basie grandfather.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Guy Foreman]

Not on the first issue. I was brought in for some fill in issues when they.

[Ben Jammin]

Arch enemy. Exacto. Blade.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. A lot of great. You've done so much great work.

[Ben Jammin]

Of course, who could forget Ladybug.

[Guy Foreman]

Yes. I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Rodney Dangerfield movie or.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why are you bringing it up?

[Ben Jammin]

Who could forget it?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a good point.

[Guy Foreman]

I've made some characters for Ben. Now Ben does own the rights to those characters.

[Ben Jammin]

Exactly. And everything you ever do.

[Guy Foreman]

Well, I disagree with that part of what you assert.

[Ben Jammin]

I signed what we call the Lorne Michaels package.

[Guy Foreman]

I mean, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was.

[Guy Foreman]

Some of the first work I ever did was for Ben and it was a. It was a. It was a pretty.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you do? What. What. What other books did you work on?

[Guy Foreman]

I worked on Captain Gus and the Fat Lip Duo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Captain Gus and the Fat Lip Duo. This is obviously. I know who this is from prior childhood, but describe this for the listeners who aren't as into.

[Guy Foreman]

Captain Gus was just a naval ranking man who is unimportant.

[Scott Aukerman]

He was not in the Navy.

[Ben Jammin]

No, he was a naval ranking man.

[Guy Foreman]

He ranked.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of people don't know you can get ranked by the Navy.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, The Navy gave him a ranking.

[Ben Jammin]

You send away.

[Scott Aukerman]

You say, if I were to join the Navy, what would my.

[Ben Jammin]

Here's my stats. What would My rank.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Captain Gus was an accountant who got ranked by the Navy as a captain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Guy Foreman]

And he had two daughters who would. They punched each other in the face and they and their lips inflate simultaneously. It could be. But whenever one of them had a Fat lip. They were super strong.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Ben Jammin]

They would turn to each other and say, fat lip duo activate the other day.

[Guy Foreman]

And then for like 10 to 15 minutes while the swelling was up, they'd be incredibly strong.

[Scott Aukerman]

That short of a time. Wow.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. It's a. You had to act fast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Guy Foreman]

So a lot of the comic would be them moving into the position and then activating their fat lips. And then for the. For the brief window of time subduing the bat.

[Ben Jammin]

Controversial comic. Because when they punched each other in the face, they would both say simultaneously.

[Guy Foreman]

Which Ben refused to have us edit out. We tried to do like the little swirl and number sign.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ben Jammin]

Because I do that. Kids being bullied could relate getting punched in the face.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. Even if you're a kid, if you get punched in the face, you're gonna say you are. It was so real.

[Ben Jammin]

It might be the first time you say it. Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

First you say it, then you do it.

[Guy Foreman]

Well, the letters into the letters column, it's an old.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a reference to something else people.

[Guy Foreman]

Felt seen when they read this comic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Guy Foreman]

And so I did create those characters. But of course, I'm not disputing Ben owns the rights to those.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Ben Jammin]

And always will.

[Guy Foreman]

You don't need to rub my face in it.

[Ben Jammin]

I know that you're not trying to just re establishing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

So Captain Gus and the fat lip duo was. Was one of the ones I worked on. What else? Oh, I.

[Ben Jammin]

The sad Gentleman.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Sad Gentleman. This started as a backup feature.

[Guy Foreman]

Sad Gentleman was like a little six page backup we would use to fill out the issues that weren't. That weren't done.

[Ben Jammin]

It was basically an extended Hostess tweaky ad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Now comic book fans know that the Hostess Twinkie company used to do one page ads where Spider man would come across a villain and everything would get solved by everyone eating Twinkies.

[Ben Jammin]

Clover man would find some fruit pies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. The. The Hulk could get really into some ho hos or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like that tiny dicked superhero being the.

[Guy Foreman]

Incredibly tiny dick Hulk. Yeah. So, yeah. The sad gentleman was at first just an original character created for a Hostess ad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me. Can I check out any of the sad gentlemen? Like, oh my gosh. That you have some artwork here that looks exactly like you.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, it was inspired by some of my life. This one is the sad gentleman is in an elevator and he can't remember what floor he's going to. So he's just panels of him, like scratching his chin, starting to push a button. Not pushing a button. Getting lost in his phone, which at that time didn't make any sense.

[Ben Jammin]

A rotary phone.

[Guy Foreman]

He took a rotary phone out of his satchel and just stared at it. Just stared at it. And that's the end of the sad gentleman. But the abstract nature was compelling to people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Yeah. This sounds like indie comics. These Indiana Jones comics.

[Ben Jammin]

Children will write in and say, this is how I feel all the time. Sad and confused.

[Guy Foreman]

Kids in an elevator have no agencies. They don't get to pick what floor they're going to. So all they have is their phone number.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kids should be able to pick the floors that we go to.

[Ben Jammin]

Let the child pick the floor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let the child pick the floor.

[Guy Foreman]

Let the child pick the floor. Let the child pick the floor.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is my platform. I've said it before. I'll say it again. Let children pick these things. Who cares if you end up on the wrong floor.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Where were you?

[Ben Jammin]

Let them push every button like they want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Ben Jammin]

What do you care?

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you care? And then wherever you end up, that's probably where you were meant to go.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. That's very wise of you.

[Ben Jammin]

Beautiful.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, where are you going with a kid anyway? The dentist. They don't want to go there. Let them pick the floor. Go to somewhere else.

[Guy Foreman]

Pick another floor. You're. You're in some like dmv.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Guy Foreman]

And just go in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man. Those dentist office that are right on top of the df.

[Guy Foreman]

You're gonna be a license.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Guy Foreman]

Go to the dentist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Ben Jammin]

And then your child is an early start of driving.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Guy Foreman]

It all works out.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are some of the other books that you worked on?

[Guy Foreman]

So what do we say already? Captain Gus and the Fat Lip Duo. The. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to make sure. You don't want to say one. You've already said.

[Guy Foreman]

I just. I said Captain Gus and the Fat Lip Duo.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did? Yes.

[Guy Foreman]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

The namely ranked Captain Gus.

[Guy Foreman]

Piano hands.

[Scott Aukerman]

Piano hands.

[Guy Foreman]

This is a man who was a jazz trumpeter, weirdly fell into a grand piano during a nuclear attack on Los Angeles. And he's on Los Angeles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

And he emerged with two piano keyboards.

[Scott Aukerman]

For hands, but no hands to play them, I would imagine.

[Guy Foreman]

Tragic. It's like an O. Henry story. He's got piano keyboards and no hands to play him. So he needs people to play his hands to enact music.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. But. But can he pick up stuff at all?

[Guy Foreman]

Or he can scoop them up. Like if there's something that. That a piano keyboard could.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would imagine if the top is up on a grand Piano. Scoop things with a piano.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, yeah, I would. Yeah, I would imagine that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, if you were. If, if. If you were doing construction on your house, which you've done before, some, and on mine, and you couldn't get a bulldozer. If you had a grand piano, you could probably scoop some of the rubble away.

[Guy Foreman]

If you had a grand piano and you were strong, you could use it for sure, I would think.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

It turned it upside down. You leave the lid open. Like a big mouth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Big mouth. Great show.

[Guy Foreman]

Piano Man. Not Piano Man. Wait, that's Billy Joe.

[Ben Jammin]

Didn't I see you on Big Mouth?

[Scott Aukerman]

You saw me, but it wasn't my voice.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, you got. Your voice got cut out of the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

They used someone else, unfortunately, for it. But it was. It was a drawing of me and the guy who just left, Paul F. Tompkins.

[Guy Foreman]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they used other people's voices for it for some reason.

[Guy Foreman]

You were probably. You probably were not available or hard to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I was very available. I let them know I would come in.

[Guy Foreman]

Well, you probably didn't have any personal connection with anybody on the show, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. Okay, so piano hands.

[Guy Foreman]

Piano hands.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does he solve crimes or.

[Guy Foreman]

He solves crimes? Absolutely. He sold crimes. Yeah. Well, he teams up with the detective. He doesn't have the. Know how. He's the muscle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Guy Foreman]

He comes in just to, like, whap the bad guy with a big. With a big keyboard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sherlock Holmes needed. You know, he's got some, like, Watson who, like, sits around and documents the cases and. Is worse than Sherlock Holmes. Like, worse than everything.

[Guy Foreman]

He's way worse.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, if he were muscle. If he was like, like. Oh, don't. Sherlock. I'll take care of this. Thank you. Then you'd understand what he's doing. Yes. But instead he's just like. Oh, I say Sherlock. Why would you even think that that would be. Shut the up.

[Ben Jammin]

He was there in case Sherlock Holmes got shot or stabbed.

[Guy Foreman]

He was an understudy.

[Ben Jammin]

He was a medical doctor.

[Guy Foreman]

Oh. To attend to the wounds.

[Ben Jammin]

Not always. Does a stabbing lead to death?

[Guy Foreman]

See, Ben is the master of the story.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are holding scissors right now.

[Ben Jammin]

I'm always holding scissors.

[Guy Foreman]

Because you're an editor.

[Ben Jammin]

Tell them about Bubonic Bill.

[Guy Foreman]

Bubonic Bill was a worker at the CDC who insisted that he could cure all diseases.

[Scott Aukerman]

The cbc.

[Guy Foreman]

Cbc. He worked for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. It's not the cdc.

[Guy Foreman]

No.

[Ben Jammin]

That would have been great.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would have been. We had the diseases part of it.

[Guy Foreman]

Because we knew we Wanted him to have the powers of the bubonic plague.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes, it was. Was the cbc, not the cdc.

[Guy Foreman]

We should have had it be the cdc. That.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think that adds a more realistic. Well, he was working.

[Ben Jammin]

More likely that someone will work at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation than they would at the center for Disease Control.

[Guy Foreman]

It's way more relatable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

So this guy worked for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation or company.

[Ben Jammin]

Who knows?

[Scott Aukerman]

Could be.

[Guy Foreman]

Company. Yeah. We never had to say it. We just said Canadian Broadcasting C. Because we didn't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you had every character say the Canadian Broadcasting Sea.

[Guy Foreman]

Hey, I gotta get back to my job at the Canadian Broadcasting Sea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. This is realistic dialogue so far. Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

It gets unrealistic. So then he's. So there's a talk show where Mike Myers is interviewing Wayne Gretzky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yes.

[Guy Foreman]

At the Canadian broadcast, Canadian tv. And the next guest is a scientist who's got a big vial of the bubonic plague. To show.

[Scott Aukerman]

To show.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Just to be like.

[Ben Jammin]

It's his party trick.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. This used to really be a problem. He was gonna say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Guy Foreman]

But this guy, our main hero, his name was Irving Filibuster.

[Scott Aukerman]

Irving filibuster. Was he doctor, like, Dr. Irving? Like Dr. J?

[Guy Foreman]

Like doctor. No, he was not a doctor. No, he was. He was a nurse practitioner.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Guy Foreman]

Who worked at the Canadian broadcast.

[Ben Jammin]

Why?

[Guy Foreman]

Huh?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why? If he's a nurse practitioner, why does he have this side gig?

[Guy Foreman]

He was. He was there in case people got hurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, like Watson?

[Guy Foreman]

I guess so.

[Ben Jammin]

Exactly.

[Guy Foreman]

Okay, so Irving Filibuster, a nurse practitioner who worked at the Canadian Broadcasting Sea, is arrogant, and he's like, I should be on this show, not this lousy scientist who's got a vial of the bubonic plague. And he tries to elbow his way onto the show, but knocks into the vial of the bubonic plague, giving himself the bubonic plague.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who is Bill.

[Guy Foreman]

Sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

The. The title of this is Bubonic, and your main character's name is Irving.

[Guy Foreman]

Yes. Great. You've got an eye.

[Ben Jammin]

Have you ever heard of a secret identity?

[Guy Foreman]

Yes. So he didn't want people to know his real identity because he wanted to continue his career as a nurse practitioner.

[Ben Jammin]

But he did want people to know he was a carrier of the bubonic plague.

[Guy Foreman]

Well, yeah, because he wanted to scare villains.

[Ben Jammin]

What?

[Guy Foreman]

What? You know, what strikes fear in the heart of evil men to bubonic plague.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would. I would assume more than bats.

[Guy Foreman]

Way more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

If there. If you, in a hypothetical situation, had to walk into a room with the Bubonic plague loose or a room with a couple of bats.

[Scott Aukerman]

I go into the bat room.

[Guy Foreman]

Easy, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

But it begs the question, why not Bat Bill?

[Guy Foreman]

Why not Bat?

[Scott Aukerman]

He's trying to obscure his secret identity, too.

[Guy Foreman]

He should obscure the bubonic part.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, no, I'm saying why didn't Batman. Why wasn't his name Bat Bill?

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Throw him off the case further.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because his name is Bruce. What? Like when he says Batman, you automatically go, oh, he's a man.

[Guy Foreman]

Right. That narrows.

[Scott Aukerman]

And that narrows it down. Why not say BET wouldn't build.

[Ben Jammin]

Narrow it down even further.

[Scott Aukerman]

But.

[Guy Foreman]

But in the wrong way.

[Scott Aukerman]

In the wrong way where you're like, okay, we got to find some.

[Guy Foreman]

Somebody named Bill.

[Scott Aukerman]

Someone named Bill who's. Who kicks ass and is rich.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then there's no one there.

[Guy Foreman]

You know what he really should have done was called himself Bat Joker to direct all the attention at Joker.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Guy Foreman]

Make that guy's life problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. Oh, you know who just beat us up? All criminals. This Bat Joker guy.

[Ben Jammin]

What if he called himself Bill? Bat bill Jasper of 1124 Sycamore Avenue. Social Security number 24692.

[Scott Aukerman]

He'd have the cops running in circles.

[Guy Foreman]

Oh, Ben, you should have. I wish you were in charge of DC Comics.

[Ben Jammin]

I wish I wouldn't charge of DC Comics.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you doing now, Ben?

[Ben Jammin]

Mostly I'm retired and counting money. But, yeah, I do like to make cameos in films.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Guy Foreman]

So, like, I saw you recently. I saw you in Plumber Henry, the Plumber Henry franchise that's on Netflix.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I saw you in Amelia Perez.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes. Remember when they were singing, Penis Vagina, penis vagina? I was in the background looking back and forth like I was on a tennis match. You can also find me in the Brutalist.

[Guy Foreman]

Really?

[Ben Jammin]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

What were you doing in the Brutalist?

[Ben Jammin]

Well, when an unpleasant thing happens towards the end of the film that comes out of nowhere, I am over in the corner of the street going, enjoying. I do a double take.

[Guy Foreman]

I think it undermines the moment. And that's not. Your performance is great, but I think the director was wrong to cut to.

[Scott Aukerman]

You going, weren't you in Challengers as well, watching the tennis match as if it were a penis and vagina discussion?

[Ben Jammin]

Also, when they have. They're doing the three way kiss, I say, you see me slightly just out to the side of the frame going, let me get it there.

[Guy Foreman]

And then in companion with.

[Ben Jammin]

Haven't seen it, so don't spoil my cameo and companion.

[Guy Foreman]

You haven't seen It. Yeah, you're in it.

[Ben Jammin]

I don't know where my cameo comes.

[Guy Foreman]

Okay.

[Ben Jammin]

So please don't spoil anything about the movie.

[Guy Foreman]

Okay. That's going to. I'm glad you said that because I was gonna spoil.

[Ben Jammin]

It was a very unique situation where the director said, now I'm gonna push you with the movie. You're not gonna know where you are, anything about the story.

[Guy Foreman]

That's nice.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you don't want to be spoiled.

[Ben Jammin]

I was blindfolded.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's why they picked you up. They abducted you.

[Ben Jammin]

And they put me. And they put me in a. They put a bag over my head. They brought me to set and they said, okay, we're gonna say action and whip the bag off.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And then all you have to do.

[Ben Jammin]

Is just sit there.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you were also blindfolded as well.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yes.

[Ben Jammin]

So we're gonna keep the blindfold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

It makes me feel like they blindfolded you so you wouldn't know where you're going. And then they thought you were just an uggo and put the bag over your face like white boat.

[Ben Jammin]

I don't think that's a shoot off for the film.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Guy Foreman]

Ben, you're a. You're a fine looking man.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you.

[Ben Jammin]

Can't be true for a man of 102.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think I look under it too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

You had a lot of energy.

[Ben Jammin]

It's my birthday today.

[Guy Foreman]

Hey, happy birthday.

[Ben Jammin]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're 101 yesterday.

[Ben Jammin]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now you're 102.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes, 103.

[Guy Foreman]

Well, that's not true. It'll be another year, right, Ben, when.

[Scott Aukerman]

You'Re that old, I think the birthday should come a little more regular.

[Ben Jammin]

Who knows if I'll live another year? So tomorrow I'm going to be 103.

[Scott Aukerman]

4 the next day, and just birthday cake every day.

[Ben Jammin]

I love birthday cakes.

[Scott Aukerman]

My.

[Ben Jammin]

My favorite food.

[Guy Foreman]

It's a great one.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like when you go to an ice cream store and it's like birthday cake, ice cream. No, I would go to the birthday cake store.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

If I want a birthday cake, I want ice cream.

[Ben Jammin]

Birthday cake, ice cream, ice cream cake. What's going on?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is happening here? We got to get to the bottom of this.

[Ben Jammin]

That's like a cat being dressed like a dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which is another great idea for a superhero, by the way.

[Ben Jammin]

But a dog, Cat. A cat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dog bill.

[Guy Foreman]

Costume dog, Cat bill. A cat who gets the powers of a dog.

[Ben Jammin]

Cat bill. But what, two minutes later?

[Guy Foreman]

What's the secret identity of still being a Cat.

[Ben Jammin]

But I've had a very busy year being doing cameos in movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? That's incredible. We love to see you in movies.

[Guy Foreman]

Your charming presence.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is Stan Lee, who was a contemporary of yours, right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

Did you know Stan?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Who?

[Scott Aukerman]

Marvel Comics guy.

[Ben Jammin]

That guy?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. He would. He would show up in all these Marvel movies. He'd be so funny and so good. And I would. I would be like, he's got to show up in other movies. Yeah.

[Guy Foreman]

Use this guy.

[Ben Jammin]

He was doing my thing.

[Guy Foreman]

He was doing your thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

He ripped you off. Yes, unfortunately.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Ben Jammin]

I've been doing cameos in movies since the 30s.

[Guy Foreman]

I remember you in Kramer versus Kramer.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes. When he froze the glass in the restaurant.

[Guy Foreman]

And you're the waiter, you go up. You're one of the great double take cameos.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in Arsenic and Old Lake.

[Ben Jammin]

When the guy who thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt charges up the stairs. I would be at the top of the stairs and guess what I'd be doing.

[Guy Foreman]

I can't believe you said, yeah. Right.

[Ben Jammin]

Most of these cameos are double takes.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah. I remember in Psycho, the big reveal at the end, which I won't spoil.

[Scott Aukerman]

For anyone who hasn't seen Psycho. But a certain character is not what she seems.

[Guy Foreman]

Not what she seems. Certain character's mother. I don't want to spoil it. Yes. Is not who we think, but is actually a. Maybe a son of who we think. No spoilers.

[Scott Aukerman]

No spoiler spoilers.

[Guy Foreman]

But the mother of a certain debates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Norman, we're talking about.

[Guy Foreman]

Norman, we're talking about normal.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not a spoiler.

[Guy Foreman]

That's the main character.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the main character. Psycho. You. Norman Bates.

[Guy Foreman]

Bates is right away. He's there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. But no spoilers. But Norman Bates is relative who you see of the maternal variety.

[Guy Foreman]

Correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no spoilers.

[Guy Foreman]

Further specification than that.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Guy Foreman]

But at the end of the movie, we find out that this maternal relative.

[Ben Jammin]

Of Norman Bates, he was dressing up as his dead mother stabbing people.

[Guy Foreman]

Correct. So and at that moment, at that reveal, they cut to you, the pan up to you and you go. And then they do the famous Hitchcock pull out zoom forward just on you.

[Ben Jammin]

Only time I did a double take where I had to pull out a zoom forward.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was crazy. And you were in both versions, except.

[Ben Jammin]

For Jaws, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in the Vince Vaughn version.

[Ben Jammin]

Yes. Shot for shot remake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. You gotta have you. Gus.

[Ben Jammin]

Jamming Gus Van Sant called me up and said, I know this is unusual, but would you mind repeating your role?

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you Want him just use the old footage?

[Ben Jammin]

I said, yes, please. And he said, no, it's gonna be a color. And I said, you got me a color. A color.

[Guy Foreman]

Gonna be a color.

[Ben Jammin]

I said, which color? And he said, all of them. I said, wow, big budget.

[Guy Foreman]

He went all out. I thought you were the best part of the remake.

[Ben Jammin]

Thank you. What about when they added the one seed that wasn't in the original?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was necessary.

[Ben Jammin]

This had to be in the there.

[Guy Foreman]

It's sacrilege to change anything of the master's work except jerking off for a good jerk off, which we all think the mat. He would have liked Psycho.

[Ben Jammin]

Otherwise perfect film. If I were to add one thing.

[Guy Foreman]

A lot of movies are. I mean, Citizen Kane is always missing a real good jerk off scene. Casablanca.

[Scott Aukerman]

I assume he was going to see his mistress's operas. Just working it up there in his box.

[Ben Jammin]

How great would it be if one more filmmaker did a shot for shock remake of a classic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Style?

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna Van Zant this movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

I gotta say. Three men on a podcast. We finally got to jerking off.

[Guy Foreman]

Took us a while. That was restraint.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, guys, we are running out of time. Unfortunately, I am too.

[Ben Jammin]

So AM I. I'm 103.

[Scott Aukerman]

We've already crossed into tomorrow, have we? We are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is of course a little something called plugs. I just can't believe my love, I. I get to hear your.

[Ben Jammin]

Rock and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Roll final.

[Guy Foreman]

Starring Michael Gross. Kind of seems like a TV show thing.

[Ben Jammin]

Sha la la la.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was Little Dinky Boy by TW Bond. That's great. Yeah, I loved it. Thanks to TW Bond. And guys, what are we plugging here? I'll start with you, Guy Foreman, DNA guy.

[Guy Foreman]

I'll plug a podcast I like called Screw it. We're just gonna talk about the Beatles. If you want to hear a bunch of.

[Scott Aukerman]

You didn't know who they were.

[Guy Foreman]

I don't know who they are, but that's why I'm playing.

[Scott Aukerman]

These guys do.

[Guy Foreman]

These guys do. So I'm hoping to listen to it someday because I'm curious about. I'm curious about that band. But if you ever wanted to hear a couple of middle aged people to say that this band that you know already is good, that's the podcast for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they have any sort of analysis that elevates it at all?

[Guy Foreman]

Not really. There's a lot of just whatever's topical in the band they get. They kind of go over and say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Things are topical in the Beatles these days.

[Guy Foreman]

There is a lot of Beatles releases. There are a lot of Beatles release. Ringo released an album last month. That's I hear, even though I don't know who he is.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Ben Jammin, do you have anything you want to.

[Ben Jammin]

I'm dying. Here I go.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, not now. No, no, no, no, no. Ben. Clear. Clear. Don't you die dead. Hey. Hey.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's going on, you guys?

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Paul. Where'd you come from?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I fell out of the roof.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in the roof?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Guy Foreman]

Are you all right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

In the ceiling.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Oh, that makes sense.

[Guy Foreman]

Are you all right?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, I'm fine. It's not that. Oh, it's quite a fall. I fall a lot.

[Guy Foreman]

Oh, yeah. You did it well, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank God that I had these pillows here underneath. Pillows.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, before we started, when you got all the pillows out to show them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Off, I was like, yeah, check out my pillow collection.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I actually enjoyed the pillow show, but.

[Guy Foreman]

It was out of nowhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

I usually. To be honest, I usually do a pillow show before every episode. We just don't record it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

What's amazing is to the. To the untrained eye, they all look exactly alike. But you were able to walk us through the subtle differences in each pillow.

[Guy Foreman]

And I now am glad that I brought out my haystack in response to that. To that pillow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your haystack collection? Yes. Which I thought was gorgeous.

[Guy Foreman]

You were so nice about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, no needles involved in these. No.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

A haystack is sort of a collection of hay, right?

[Guy Foreman]

It is, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

In a way. It's stacked up.

[Guy Foreman]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul, we.

[Guy Foreman]

We.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're doing plugs. Do you have anything you want to plug?

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Oh, sure. I'd like to plug Varietopia. We're doing our St. Patrick's Day special in Los Angeles on Sunday, March 16, and live streaming it to the world that's at large room in Los Angeles and live streamed everywhere else. And then, of course, gotta say it again. Variatorpia starts in Iowa City, Iowa, on April.

[Scott Aukerman]

I Bet it was 16.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

No, it's a little too early. It's a little too early.

[Guy Foreman]

23Rd of my guess. That's my guess.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I think you're right about the 23rd. Ghee. Yeah. Wednesday, 23rd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

At the Englert Theater. It all kicks off in Iowa City.

[Guy Foreman]

It's a week and a day after you file your taxes.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's exactly one week and one day. Wow. I just got a text. It's AT&T. Great news. Your Phone is paid off.

[Ben Jammin]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you're interested in learning about our upgrade offer, reply yes to receive Congrats.

[Guy Foreman]

Say yes.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Please say yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to plug. Hey, we still have the CBB action figures. We still have Randy and Karina action figures. They've been mailing them out. They look gorgeous. I have some right here next to all of my others. They are Randy Snuts and his on and off again Carissa girlfriend. Get them to complete your set. They are available for customers [e-mail] with free shipping with a US address or in Europe with cheaper import fees@action figureseller.com Nice. I think they still have some Sprague and Big sue action figures as well as some of the tour JW Stillwater and Scott Aukerman's might still be available. So hit them up. Also, if you are interested in hearing the complete archive of comedy Bang Bang, as well as every live episode we've ever done, head over to CBB World. We have such great stuff over there. We have ad free episodes of this show. We have ad free threedom. We have CBB Presents shows Freedom. We also have Collegetown. We have Neighborhood. Listen, Scott hasn't seen where we watch movies with Sprague. So many great shows.

[Guy Foreman]

Cbbfm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cbbfm. Yeah, we. Yeah, we certainly do that. Yeah, that is a show.

[Guy Foreman]

That's a fact.

[Scott Aukerman]

Head over to there. [e-mail].

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Head over to there.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can get it via a monthly subscription or a yearly subscription. If you get it for a year, you get two months free. All right, let's close up the old plug. Oh.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

You got Open the plug bag with me, dude.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, that was. Dude. Looks like a plug bag by Burn Su. Thanks to Burn Suite. That was great, guys. I want to thank you so much. First of all, Paul, thank you so much for dropping by and about what's going on.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Thank you for letting me promote my little show. Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I hope to go out there and I'm going to follow the tour around and go to every show. I figured. Yep. I'll be there in the audience if anyone wants to say hi. And Guy Fordman. Foreman.

[Guy Foreman]

Foreman. That's correct.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

G.

[Scott Aukerman]

So great to meet you.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah, thanks for. I just wanted to hang out and I got to do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Continued success to you.

[Guy Foreman]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And of course Benjamin's dead.

[Guy Foreman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But rest in peace.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Is that who this is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We couldn't say. Yeah, we performed cpr.

[Guy Foreman]

I breathed heavy near his extensively.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Yeah, this is Grizzly.

[Guy Foreman]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, join the club. My nephew Todd was dead for a while lying on the floor.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Alan Thicke.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alan Thicke. Yeah. He's been lying here forever.

[Guy Foreman]

There are a lot of bodies here.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a. It's a curse being on this show. Hopefully that won't ever affect you guys. Okay?

[Guy Foreman]

We didn't do anything wrong. It wouldn't be fair.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye. I've never felt like this before. It's like you just get me.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I feel like my true self with you. Does that sound crazy?

[Scott Aukerman]

Crazy.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's it.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

I'm taking you home with me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere.

[Paul F. Tompkins]

Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas.

[Scott Aukerman]

And more at your DSW store or dsw.com this episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs. Oh boy. We're having entrepreneurs back on the show and they're going to use helps entrepreneurs stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or you're managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. You can get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at Squarespace. Squarespace Payments is the easiest way to manage your payments in one place. With Squarespace, onboarding is fast and simple. Get started in just a few clicks of the dear mouse, my dear boy, and start receiving payments right away. Plus, give your customers more ways to pay with popular payment methods like and here we go with them. They're going to sound made up, but maybe you know what they are. Klarna Ach Direct Debit in the US Apple Pay Afterpay in the US and Canada and Clearpay in the uk Squarespace. Look, what do I need to say about them? We've been using them now for. It feels like. I know it's over a decade. I think we did all the earwolf websites with Squarespace. They're the best. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you are Ready to launch squarespace.com Bang Bang will save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Thanks. Squarespace.