Poop Doula (Ed Helms, Seth Morris, Isabella Escalante)

Summary

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Comedy Bang Bang: "Poop Doula" (June 8, 2026)

Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Ed Helms, Seth Morris (as Bob Duca), Isabella Escalante (as Paulina, Casting Director/Teacher)

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Episode Overview

This showbiz-heavy episode features Ed Helms, returning to the show for his second appearance, alongside the iconic character Bob Duca (Seth Morris), and a new character, Paulina (Isabella Escalante), a cryptic acting teacher/casting director. The conversations veer from hilarious reflections on show business and acting philosophy to absurd explorations into health, personal history, and the unique world of video game voiceover casting.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Ed Helms Joins the Two Timers Club

• [02:31] Ed Helms celebrates his rare second appearance on CBB, joking about the exclusivity (and imaginary dues) of the "Two Timers Club."
• [04:05] Helms proposes an exclusive club with steep dues and strict “hang-out” requirements, poking fun at celebrity culture.

2. Ed Helms on Career Motivation & Luck

• [07:15 - 13:53] A candid discussion about the emotional rollercoaster and self-doubt involved in pursuing success in show business, Helms discusses the push-pull of confidence and insecurity and the role of "luck" in showbiz.
  • Notable quote:
    "You have to have an irrational belief that you can do this." — Ed Helms [10:10]
  • Shares a psychological study about perception and luck, arguing that openness, rather than “luck,” helps people notice opportunities.

3. Podcast-in-a-Podcast: Helms' "Snafu"

• [17:48 - 30:24] Helms introduces his history podcast "Snafu," which covers historical disasters and human folly, walking guests through infamous events.
  • Format: Ed narrates history “screw-ups” to guests who typically know little about the subject, creating organic, comedic discussions.
  • Recent Snafu episodes: Cambridge Analytica (with tech journalists), the Hindenburg disaster (with Chelsea Handler), and an upcoming Chappaquiddick episode (with Pete Holmes).

4. Showbiz Tangents and Comedy

• CBB regular banter:
  • The meaning of “acting” [65:17 onward]
  • The reality of "membership" in exclusive clubs
  • Recurring jokes about Wikipedia edits, the Office spinoff (“If The Office sold paper, why doesn’t The Paper sell offices?” [15:12]), and showbiz one-upmanship.

5. Bob Duca’s Absurd Health Updates

• [38:42 - 54:02] Bob Duca lists new medical findings (he’s “mostly carbuncle”) and gives shoutouts to his ever-expanding health care team, including a "Poop Doula," "Toilet Daddy," and a "Monkey Assassin."
  • Memorable bit:
    "You find what you need, and then that's important. A lot of people think taking care of their health is just having a doctor. No, this is preventative medicine." — Bob Duca [52:39]
• Shares his genealogy “test” with 23-and-Steve and laments the demise of various LA landmarks.
• Discusses his new career as a vape tester, which appears to be harming his health.

6. Acting and Voice Acting: Paulina's Workshop

• [65:17 - 87:12] Paulina, a bizarrely philosophical and sometimes abrasive acting teacher/faux casting director, challenges the panel with abstract questions about the nature of acting (e.g., is it pretending? Is it "playing it real"?).
  • Invents odd acting exercises involving orcs, elves, and referencing the pandemic.
  • Fixated on the idea that acting students are too detached, lacking “empathy,” and not mentioning the pandemic enough.
  • Notable exchange:
    Paulina: “What is acting?”
    Scott: “Being told what to do and you trying to replicate that?”
    Paulina: “Wrong. Acting comes from within... Acting is playing it real.” [67:14]

7. Improvised Acting Scenes and Comedy

• [74:32 onward] The group acts out ridiculous fantasy RPG scenarios (orc, elf, merchant) with comically meta commentary from Paulina.
  • Her standards for acting are intentionally obtuse, insisting everyone needs to “do the work” and reference trauma (e.g., the pandemic, fear of dogs, baby strollers in traffic).

8. Greg Daniels Text Exchange

• [62:37] Ed texts Greg Daniels with a fan question; Greg replies with a deliberately cryptic, inside-joke response.

9. Bob’s New Pursuits and Plugs

• [89:11] Bob announces he will be “beat up by junior high kids for charity” and plugs Seth Morris’s real improv show and podcast.
• Paulina plugs acting classes (by recommendation only) as well as an improv podcast where the pandemic gets name-dropped every episode.
• Ed Helms plugs “Snafu” podcast and book.

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Ed Helms on making it in showbiz:
  “It was just a stew of no.” [08:07]
• On luck and psychology:
  “Trying to be flexible and move right through things and bounce off the world in a positive way…” — Ed Helms [13:46]
• Scott Aukerman roasting Snafu’s appeal:
  “A lot of times listening to a podcast, this one especially, you leave being dumber than when you came in.” [26:58]
• Paulina’s acting doctrine:
  “Acting is playing it real.” [68:25]
• Bob Duca’s new diagnosis:
  “It turns out that I'm mostly carbuncle.” [45:36]
• Absurd acting exercise:
  “Let’s say you’re an elf, and you are a merchant, and you are an orc. Let’s see how you play that scene.” — Paulina [74:32]

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Segment Timestamps

• [01:10]: Show intro and "Two Timers Club" gag with Ed Helms.
• [07:15]: Career self-doubt, luck vs. preparation in showbiz.
• [17:47]: Ed’s “Snafu” podcast origins and guest stories.
• [38:42] & [54:02]: Bob Duca’s health reports and caregiver shoutouts.
• [65:17]: Paulina’s entrance—acting philosophy and meta exercises.
• [74:32]: Improvised RPG merchant/elf/orc scene + comedic debrief.
• [87:25]: Plugs section.
• [91:39]: Farewells and close-up.

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Tone and Style

• Delightfully rambling, absurd, and meta—true to classic Comedy Bang Bang style.
• Guests blend sincerity (Helms’ career talk) with deadpan parody (Paulina, Bob Duca).
• Running gags and tangents are embraced, escalated, and subverted.

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Summary for New Listeners

This episode is a prime example of Comedy Bang Bang’s blend of sincere conversation and outrageous comedic invention. Ed Helms delivers honest reflections on showbiz and his new podcast “Snafu,” while Bob Duca brings layers of absurdity with his parade of ailments and odd jobs. Paulina elevates the chaos with her cryptic acting exercises and relentless demand for “the work” and COVID references. If you love spontaneous improv, ridiculous characters, and meta-commentary on acting and podcasting, this is CBB at its best.

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Recommended Segments:

• [07:15–14:19]: Ed Helms on career motivation and luck
• [17:47–30:24]: Inside “Snafu” podcast
• [38:42–54:02]: Bob Duca’s health team list and diagnosis
• [65:17–86:04]: Paulina's acting class, the orc/elf/merchant improv
• [62:37]: Greg Daniels’ cryptic text reply

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“You have to have an irrational belief that you can do this.”—Ed Helms [10:10]
“Acting is playing it real.”—Paulina [68:25]

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Ed Helms]

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[Ed Helms]

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[Ed Helms]

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[Scott Aukerman]

A rose by any other name would be called by that other name. Like blarney. It would still smell as sweet as blarney. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Derivative Gangster for that catchphrase submission. That one took some acting on my part. I don't think I nailed it, so unfortunately not gonna stick. But thank you. The hunt continues. Derivative Gangster. Appreciate your efforts and welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another edition. My name is Scott Auan. We have an exceptional show today. Coming up a little later, we have a, a show business themed episode today. First up, we have an actor and a producer. And then a little later we have an actor slash casting director slash teacher. So this is a. An incredibly showbiz oriented episode. And I of course, am a podcaster, unfortunately. But hey, lovely to have you listening. Let's get to our first guest here. Now, you know him from such things as the Daily show, you know him from the Office, you know him from the Hangover. But most importantly, he is entering the esteemed Two Timers Club on Comedy Bang Bang, the podcast. Can you believe it? Please welcome back to the show, Ed Helms.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

All right. Two times.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two times.

[Ed Helms]

Two time. When was the last time?

[Scott Aukerman]

It was quite a long, long time. 2014.

[Ed Helms]

And you were in a totally different location.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was. I like to keep it secret where I am. My assassination coordinates. So yeah, I like to move. Every single episode is in a different place.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But yeah, totally different time. You, you know, you're entering the Two Timers Club. Most people are in the Zero Timers Club. That's most people on Earth.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, well, yeah, of course, if you do the math.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

But the best people are in the Two Timers Club and that's why for. And it's, I mean, it was years ago that I was on the show and I've been hounding you. I've text, I've texted you every day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Since then I put a. Like a spam blocker on your number unfortunately because it's just too much.

[Ed Helms]

Well the Two Timers Club is just so. It's so intoxicating. I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well now the One Timers Club are mainly like big movie stars who did it once as a favor and never wanted to return. So you have Ben Stiller, you have Paul Rudd. But the Two Timers Club is special because it's usually big movie stars like yourself who have a podcast to promote. And so they come back.

[Ed Helms]

That's the coolest level. I feel like that's where it's. And that's what makes the Two Timers Club so rare. Do you know who else is in it?

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder. You know what? We don't have the guests broken down by as many times as they've been on. I can only access your name.

[Ed Helms]

I'm going to start a. Just a club outside of this. The Two Timers. Like I actually have already rented real estate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. You may want to talk to your wife about this. And it's.

[Ed Helms]

It's kind of my new full time thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. I don't know the CBB2T club and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey honey. Yeah, I just started something called the Two Timers Club.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a. The membership dues are. Are $100,000 which is. Which I've budgeted to be roughly what. What I need to feed my family.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And this is what, a year? A month?

[Ed Helms]

A hundred thousand dollars? Yeah. Per year and per annum. Yep. And if, if you, if you join then you have to hang out at the club for six hours a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six. Six full hours.

[Ed Helms]

You know what? I haven't thought this all the way through. I just, I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You only have two rules. Pay me a hundred thousand dollars a year and hang out with me six hours.

[Ed Helms]

Sit there for six hours a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't have to talk.

[Ed Helms]

We do have a coffee machine. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And some does it and make lattes

[Ed Helms]

post it notes and. And pencils so you can like. You can do stuff. This is. I'm such a. I'm a dad doing bits like to me like a post and pencils is. It's like that's a full afternoon. That's all you need.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dad Bits. Oh boy.

[Ed Helms]

Oh boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You entered the Two Timer Father Club.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, that's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Recently.

[Ed Helms]

That's another Two Timer Club.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I was reading your Wikipedia page in advance of our meeting. Not to brag. And I noticed under personal. Let's go down to personal life. Let's See, Helms is married. No other info. In a podcast with Jordan Klepper In August 2024, Helms mentioned he has two children. Now, do you want to give anything stronger than that on this affirmatively? Just say you have two children or just casually mention.

[Ed Helms]

It only comes out in mentions. It only. Yeah, I feel like that covers it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Covers.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just an offhanded comment that you have two children. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Helms]

These are. This is a cool table. I got two kids.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then. Oh, a whole political views. Oh, boy. Wow.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, there's a whole section in Wikipedia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whole section, yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Political views.

[Scott Aukerman]

Would it surprise you to know you were a board member at Represent Us?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, yeah, I did do. I'm doing that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

I like that operation alongside other stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

People can go to the wiki. Do you want any. Any new things you want to.

[Ed Helms]

That our.

[Scott Aukerman]

Our Wikipedia warriors can get out there? And anything new going on in your personal life or your political views?

[Ed Helms]

Breaking Breaking news. Breaking Ed Helms news. Yeah. I went on a Girl Scout camping trip this weekend with. With one of my kids.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Ed Helms]

I didn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's an important clip.

[Ed Helms]

I didn't just show up at a Girl Scout camping.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Helms is known to show up at girls Girl Scout camping.

[Ed Helms]

Wikipedia page. Yeah, no, it was great. I brought some balloons and post it notes and pens, a couple of kazoos, and I introduced myself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I. That. That's something we can work with. Hopefully that'll end up on your Wikipedia page.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Ed Helms]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, Ed, you. In addition to, you know, your storied career, so many incredible u. I mean, when you. When you first got in this business, everyone hopes to achieve the kind of things you have, but very few actually do. Did you ever think that you would do it? Did you have that belief in yourself where you were like, I know I'm gonna do this shit.

[Ed Helms]

I do. I do love the. The something that happened to your voice asking that question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I started out on one question

[Ed Helms]

that I just segued into original or deep or something sort of exploratory. We're gonna get deep here.

[Bob Duca]

That's.

[Ed Helms]

We're going to peel back the lid of Ed Helm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you ever think that you would do it, Ed?

[Ed Helms]

You know, I think like a lot of. A lot of people who. Who go into this wacky business, it was just a stew of no.

[Scott Aukerman]

No pun intended. Because you played Stu the Hangover. That's true. That we want to make sure no one thinks that pun was intended.

[Ed Helms]

Not intended. I did have this Weird belief that I could do this. And I sort of like irrational faith in my ability to push forward, but also pushing against all of that is just this very powerful doubt that, that kind of. And they're just tides that wash in and out all the time and still do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, yeah, you go to the, the ocean any day of the week, you'll see it.

[Ed Helms]

The tides. I'm affected by the moon is what I'm real. But, no, but I, I, I think somewhere along the lines, I also, I, I, I feel, I felt like. I guess I, I think I had something to prove or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

And, and that, and that's a weird.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you pro. Who are you proving it to? Because people do it to their parents. They do it to the people at school.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you trying to stick it to?

[Ed Helms]

I, I think, I think probably parts of both of those categories and, and not, and not out of, not out of disdain, but sort of just like I've been underestimated or something. A sense that I had more to show or something. And, and I, but I do, I do think that what pushed me through those early years doing stand up in New York and trying to get on, to just get into all these different comedy shows and circles and the Upright Citizens Brigade.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you did premium blend in 2002.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, that, that was huge for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

I was actually already on, I think I was already on the Daily show at that point.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were on the daily show in 2002, so that checks out.

[Ed Helms]

But, but it still was like, this is such a validation of these, These, like, at that point, I guess, eight years of New York City trenches trying to, yeah. Just trying to make it work. And you just, I mean, you know this, like, early on, there's just so much rejection and so much failure. You have to have an irrational belief that you can do this.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now that you've made it, do you find it's fun to be the one rejecting the other people?

[Ed Helms]

Oh, it feels so good. Just crushing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stomping. Because you have to defend your title.

[Ed Helms]

Exactly. I don't want anybody rising up and diluting my megalomania. I'm so happy to be here. I deserve it. I deserve everything that's ever come my way. No, no, of, of course that I, you know, I've been, I read this weird. There's a psychologist who's done a, A lot of study on the concept of luck and where luck comes from. And of course, I would say luck played a huge part in so many and many steps of my Career. But I think that there's also something interesting, just about sort of the psychology of. Of someone who, like how we. And how we feel about luck or how we feel about the world around us can open doors for us.

[Scott Aukerman]

Meaning that if you get lucky and you feel like, oh, I actually deserve that.

[Bob Duca]

Does that.

[Ed Helms]

No, no, What I mean is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not. Not. I took a stab and I was wrong.

[Ed Helms]

No, I think a lot of people. A lot of people do that. You know, privilege is something it's hard for, I think, a lot of people to see in themselves or to even understand about one's own background. It's hard to see sometimes, but. But no, I saw this. This study. I'm going to get these details wrong, but the gist of it was that. That people were given a test where they look in a newspaper or they're told to count the number of pages in a newspaper or something like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

And this sounds like something I could maybe do.

[Ed Helms]

And on, like page 10, it says there's a huge ad in the newspaper that says the total number of pages is 16. You can stop now. Oh, and. And people who had a more sort of open mindset to. And a more flexible mindset towards the world were more likely to see that and then tell the proctor of the test. You know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

It's. The answer is 14 or whatever. The.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said 16, but 16.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which, by the way, stopping at page 10. You only have six to go. I would just continue.

[Ed Helms]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just verif.

[Ed Helms]

But that's like. That's why I said I'm going to get the details right.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I know, but this is like, if you watch Taskmaster, I don't know if you've ever seen that show. The Jason Manzoukas was on series 19, but a lot of times they give you the answer to the task that they give you.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Early on, in a weird way. But so many people are so focused on. On stuff that they never see it.

[Ed Helms]

It's that it's that exact concept. And. And one might think that. That it was luck that allowed someone to see that page. But it actually has a lot to do with sort of how you move through the world and how you. Whether or not you are accepting, defeating, quitting or feeling flexible and feeling and sort of take and feeling more present and. And that's to say that I think that. Which is another thing in my life that I've really washed in and out of periods of great anxiety or periods of openness and flexibility. And because anxiety always comes with a. You Know, wanting to control your environment and control your circumstances, which is almost always a bad thing.

[Bob Duca]

Right?

[Ed Helms]

Like being. Trying to be flexible and move right through things and bounce off the world in a. In a positive way is.

[Scott Aukerman]

So now, do you try to just let stuff wash over you, like those tights we were talking about before?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, and I try not to. I try to just stay as present as possible and as open, and this is all very heady all of a sudden, but. But I don't know. I'm still trying to figure it out. I'm still. See, I'm still reading these weird things and then talking about them on podcasts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. We have. I mean, the day we figure it all out is the day that we keel over and just shuffle off this mortal coil, as the Bard once said. Are you a fan of the Immortal Bard?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, of course. I love the. I love the Bard and the star crossed lovers. What is that? Which one is. Is that. Is that a Hamlet, the Mortal Coil reference?

[Scott Aukerman]

I hope so, because that's. That's my favorite one. And if that line isn't in it, then I'm disappointed. When I go see Hamlet, I feel

[Ed Helms]

like mortal coil needs to stage a comeback. Yeah. As a. As a.

[Scott Aukerman]

As a.

[Ed Helms]

As a synonym for life. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, like doctors should say it.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mrs. Helms, your husband has shuffled off this mortal coil. Ooh, classy.

[Ed Helms]

What? Yeah, it's a tough one to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know why I put you dying in that situation. It's okay. I could have come up with any fake name, and instead I just grabbed for you.

[Ed Helms]

It felt like something that came from a very visceral place, very real place.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I gotta ask. The office. You played Andy Bernard. Yeah. There is now an office spinoff. The paper Oscar is in both. You see where I'm going with this?

[Ed Helms]

Oscar's amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oscar's amazing. But. But my real question, if in the office they sold paper, why in the paper don't they sell offices?

[Ed Helms]

Ooh, that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know.

[Ed Helms]

Don't they?

[Scott Aukerman]

They should.

[Ed Helms]

I haven't.

[Scott Aukerman]

You haven't checked it out yet.

[Ed Helms]

That's a good one.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a head scratcher.

[Ed Helms]

That's a real good one. And it. And. And I don't know the answer. All I know is that Oscar is amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe you could write to Oscar and have him ask or something.

[Ed Helms]

I don't know, just like. Or, hey, Greg Daniels, like, make a little subplot of at least one episode,

[Scott Aukerman]

give you his phone number. Greg Daniels could you.

[Ed Helms]

I could text.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why don't you text him right now?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

If. If in the office they sold paper, why in the paper do they not sell offices? Hit me back asap.

[Ed Helms]

You really want me to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, sure, yeah. I mean, look, we've had people call their business managers to see how much money they've made on certain projects.

[Ed Helms]

We.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is the kind of thing we love on Tim Robinson, after the show, asked his wife if she loved to laugh and tape recorded her saying it and sent it to us. Look, this is the kind of stuff we love on Comedy Bang Bang. So feel free to do that. I'm going to give you a little more time to wrap up that text, and I'm going to be looking around at your further information here. Now, one thing I'm noticing, Ed, about your cv, is that, sure, you're an actor, sure, you're a producer. We produced the Auntie Donna show together, did we not? He's still texting. And now, Ed, you have segued into the wonderful world that so many celebrities are getting into. Podcasting. Yeah, he just finished.

[Ed Helms]

I heard. I heard about every other word of that. So wait, here's the text. Okay, here's the text. I'm on a podcast and was just asked if on the office, they sell paper, why don't they sell offices on the paper? Care to weigh in?

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. Very good.

[Ed Helms]

All right, we'll see.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll.

[Ed Helms]

We'll just go ahead.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'll see if we get an answer by the. By the end of the show. You know, maybe he's on set and he's very busy coming up with excuses as to why they don't sell offices. But we'll. We'll see if Greg Daniels hits you back. Now you have started podcasting. You. You've continued podcasting. You have a podcast.

[Ed Helms]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's called Situation Normal. All fouled. To be fouled up. Well, no one way to say it.

[Ed Helms]

No one says what the acronym means. We just say that the podcast is called snafu.

[Scott Aukerman]

Snafu.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. Which is an acronym as you. As you have just spelled out Situation Normal all f'd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fouled. We like to say. Don't say that other word, please. I know.

[Ed Helms]

I'll be machine. Say it. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't like to think about people doing that.

[Ed Helms]

I know. It's so icky for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know.

[Ed Helms]

So, yes, it's a podcast called snafu, and it is about snafus. It's essentially a history podcast. And I walk my guests through an Historical snafu. And it's a delight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you a big history buff? Is that how you got into this?

[Ed Helms]

Yes, I'm more of a. I'm more of a general guy who likes the other side. Well, I am from Georgia, so. And we're.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Whereabouts in Georgia?

[Ed Helms]

Atlanta.

[Scott Aukerman]

Atlanta.

[Ed Helms]

The Atlanta part of the Delta hub. Yeah, exactly. Delta. Coca Cola.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Ed Helms]

If we're gonna go with some corporate. Yeah. And. And you do grow up sort of weirdly. It's more press. The Civil War is present there. Like, you're just seeing.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a lot of monuments there. There's a lot of.

[Ed Helms]

Whether they're monuments or just historical markers. You know, there's. We've. My sister found a musket ball in our yard and just like, weird.

[Scott Aukerman]

From the Civil War. Shot one over there.

[Ed Helms]

We think it's in the present day. There was a battle basically right where our neighborhood was built. The Battle of Clear Creek. And. And so, yes, we.

[Scott Aukerman]

We assume it's it. I mean, a musket ball is obviously not an explosive device. No, no, it's something that comes out of a gun.

[Ed Helms]

It's about like, the size of.

[Scott Aukerman]

It wasn't dangerous.

[Bob Duca]

A milk Dud.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, it's a dead. It's a little. It's a bullet essentially from that time period.

[Bob Duca]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it didn't have. You know how on csi, they. They put it under the microscope and they say, oh, the styrations or striations. What is it?

[Ed Helms]

I believe it's striations.

[Scott Aukerman]

Striations. Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Well, so. No, that's a different weapon because that's the. The striations are from the rifling in the barrel. That's why they're called a rifle.

[Bob Duca]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

And that's what spins a bullet as it comes out of a rifle. And that was a. That was a technological advancement from the. That came later. So a musk musket is just.

[Scott Aukerman]

It wouldn't have any markings on it.

[Ed Helms]

I don't know. And maybe it has, like, little. Where the gunpowder. Who knows? But, yeah, I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not a Civil War, so no one. No one could trace. I guess what I'm trying to say is if you took it to a forensic scientist, no one could trace this back to an actual gun or. Or battle or anything like this.

[Ed Helms]

I don't know the answer to that, to be honest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or. What did you do?

[Ed Helms]

I bet you. Yeah, I. I think we. We kept it for a minute and we're like, we found a musket ball. That's so cool. And then as. As I'm finding happens all the time with children. They just get lost. Everything gets lost.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or the parents take it away from them and hide it and say, I don' is, honey. As Kulab did with the bell that I gave our daughter recently. Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

As my dad did with my 45 of another one Bites the Dust.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Ed Helms]

He didn't think it was appropriate for

[Scott Aukerman]

an 8 year old to. To talk about something biting the dust. Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

And the other. The. The B side of that was a. Was a Queen song that nobody knows called Don't Try Suicide.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's. That's. I know that one. That's a positive message. Do you know that song, Don't Try Suicide?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Nobody would care. It's not a nice song. It's.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's also like.

[Ed Helms]

It's just the ideation is not something that I think my parents wanted me to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, I mean, I think their hearts were in the right place of like, hey, don't do this. But.

[Ed Helms]

But they were still stealing from the Hot Stuff album. Yeah. I mean, this is the early 80s,

[Scott Aukerman]

so 1980 itself, probably.

[Ed Helms]

Parenting was different.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was a lot different. So you've always loved history. You found this muskets ball in your backyard and you said, let me start a podcast about this type of stuff.

[Ed Helms]

No. So. So snafu came about because history is sort of. I'm just a rabbit hole guy. I get really curious about certain things, and I wind up just reading and reading and wanting to talk about random little nuggets, whatever it is. And sometimes it's topical news items, sometimes it's a weird science story. And oftentimes it's something history related. And so as I was trying to sort of ponder if. If I fit into the podcast land landscape somewhere, it was like, well, this is. This is an easy, easy thing. This feels like very natural. A very natural thing that I can zoom in on is.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is something you like to do.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because you don't want to start a podcast on something where you're like, episode eight. You're like, God damn it. Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

And it's something I do like this

[Scott Aukerman]

one one all the time.

[Ed Helms]

I. I can feel your contempt. You're so outraged to just be sitting here right now. But the general curiosity I think that I had was, I was like, how can I focus this on something? And then. And history became a very obvious angle. And then it was like, okay, is there. There are a lot of great history podcasts out there. What's a more specific angle? It's like, oh, the crazy messed up human hubris falling on our face stories.

[Scott Aukerman]

Things go wrong in history.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what, and do you, you read about these? Do your guests who come on. Because you do have guests, right? Do they read about it beforehand or is it you telling them about this story?

[Ed Helms]

No. So almost always the guest has no idea what the story is. I just broke that rule. Last week for the first time, I had the hosts of Hard Fork, which is a great New York Times podcast about tech. It's. It's these two tech reporters, Kevin Roose, you call it Hard computer heart, Hard computer.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, like, I hear hard fork and I think it's a cooking thing.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean?

[Ed Helms]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you pass that on? Do you mind doing another test?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, sure, sure, sure. No, but Kevin Roose and Casey Newton are, are. They have this fabulous podcast and they're very like into the, the current moment of tech, but they also covered the Cambridge Analytica scandal a few years back, which you may remember.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wasn't involved in that at all.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, 2018, there was the whole, the whole Facebook thing where, where all this data was basically scraped off of Facebook and then used to. Attempted to be used as a way to sort of psychiatrically control people or, or get them to get them to vote a certain way or just freak them out and outrage people, like using all this data as a way to target them with certain issues and then whatever. It's a very wild and, and dramatic scandal.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so they knew a lot about it. So you.

[Ed Helms]

They both, as tech reporters had covered it, and so they were, they were experts on it. And so that was a little bit of a flip of the format.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it was like you learning about it.

[Ed Helms]

Exactly. I sort of walked us through, I sort of walked the. Them through the, the timeline of it, but they were very much kind of reflecting and, and joking and talking about the, about what they knew about it, which was a lot more than I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

And that was a really fun sort of flip of the format, but most of the time I'll just have either really funny people or really smart people or really interesting people.

[Scott Aukerman]

They never cross over usually.

[Ed Helms]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Funny people on the. Smart people.

[Ed Helms]

Hardly ever. And, and, and we'll, we'll go through a snafu. I'll sort of walk them through a snafu. I've researched and written a script for myself, but, but then it's a very much a conversation and it's really, really fun. I had Adam Grant, for example, would Fall. He's very much in the smart guy category. We talked about Charles Ponzi, who, you know, is the original.

[Scott Aukerman]

The originator of the Ponzi.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, right. That's his legacy. And of course, you hate to have

[Scott Aukerman]

a scheme named after you or.

[Ed Helms]

Or maybe you. You're psyched.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, not even Madoff had really. I mean, no one goes around saying the Madoff. Maybe they say the Madoff effect.

[Ed Helms]

Well, his was a Ponzi scheme.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ed Helms]

That's why, like, Ponzi, do you think

[Scott Aukerman]

he was jockeying to get it renamed? Come on, let's call this a Madoff.

[Ed Helms]

He needs a better publicist. But that was a really fun one because Adam is like a. A. Basically like a social psychologist, and so to kind of like, read through Ponzi's life story and his whole. You know, that. The whole thing that led to the. Him getting busted for having a Ponzi scheme, which at the time, I guess was just called a scheme.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And. Or just an idea, and having Adam

[Ed Helms]

Grant, like, weigh in with all of his professional sort of psychology standpoint. It's really fun. Really interesting. I'm. What I'm trying to say is my. My podcast is fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's fun, it's funny. And you also learn something about something maybe you didn't know anything about.

[Ed Helms]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, a lot of times listening to a podcast, this one especially, you leave being dumber than when you came in.

[Ed Helms]

You extract intelligence from your listeners.

[Scott Aukerman]

But for you, you want everyone to come away going, like, not only was that entertaining, but it was also very informative as well.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, yeah. Like, I had Chelsea Handler on, and I.

[Bob Duca]

And.

[Ed Helms]

And I walked her through the whole Hindenburg story. Obviously a terrible snafu.

[Scott Aukerman]

Obviously. It blew up Led Zeppelin.

[Ed Helms]

Right. And we know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are the two things we know.

[Ed Helms]

Those are the things we know.

[Scott Aukerman]

But did they say the horror. The horror about that, or was that something else?

[Ed Helms]

No, that's the Apocalypse Now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Ed Helms]

The.

[Bob Duca]

The.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, the humanity.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it about Hindenburg?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, that was the. The live broadcast of all the humanity. Oh, there's people running around and there's fire everywhere. All the humanity. And that. That recording is. Is very famous, but there's so many fun details. Like when you start to. Really. It's a lot of stories like that that you kind of know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

That you've heard a little bit about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you done one? I'm just coming up with stuff off the top of my head. The. The. The Orson Welles War of the worlds

[Ed Helms]

adding it to the list. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because that was a big one.

[Ed Helms]

It's a big one. I love that one. And it's media related. Yeah, it's, that's a really fun one. And no, we haven't done it yet. Definitely putting it on the list. Thank you.

[Bob Duca]

Anymore.

[Ed Helms]

And you got any other ideas?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the only thing I can think about right now, but I guess I'll. How much are you paying your researchers? Because I, I guess I could have a side hustle going.

[Ed Helms]

All right, Pete Holmes is coming on later in the week and, well, I don't know whenever this is this, that will have happened when, by the time this airs.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it's hard to prognosticate into the future. But at some point, Pete Holmes.

[Ed Helms]

Sure, Pete Holmes will be on Snafu. And we're going to talk about Chappaquiddick, which is something, which is an amazing story. Teddy Kennedy driving a car off a bridge and Mary Jo Kopechnik dying. And I, I was in the movie Chappaquiddick, so I actually know a good bit about this story.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. If I'm recalling correctly, you played Joe Gargan.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. All right. I saw a little scroll there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scroll of what?

[Ed Helms]

That's a deep cut. I, I, I'm, I'm surprised that's even on your computer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I do remember it was, it was the same year that you played Eddie Crumble in the Clapper.

[Ed Helms]

Ah, yes, yes. The old, that old chestnut.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

As well as Peter Reynolds in Father Figures. Huh. And Noah Brewing. And I do. Until. I don't.

[Ed Helms]

I did. I, I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be funny if you do, if you did that movie and then everyone, like gave up in the middle and was like, you know what? I don't anymore. I just walked off the movie and then everyone watched like a bear screen.

[Ed Helms]

I feel like the audience did that. We're, we're here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have no idea what the movie is, but you were wonderful in it. So this is a weekly show or is it irregular? Is it regular?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, it's in the ballpark of a weekly, I would say. Feels like we, it feels like we do a ton of them, is what I'm trying to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

But at the end of the year, do you have 52 in the, in the bank or do you.

[Ed Helms]

30s.

[Scott Aukerman]

Somewhere in the, somewhere in the 30s. Okay, so you take some breaks.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, that's great. And, and I'll do like, we just put up a clip show, which is really fun of your show or someone else's. Dukes of Hazzard episodes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love when they would slide across the hood of that car. Great.

[Ed Helms]

In an audio medium, no? Yeah, lots. It. It was our first clip show and it was sort of like, yeah, let's do that. It's fun because there's so many great moments. The tricky thing on our show, though, is that, is that a lot of the really funny or interesting moments that bubble up, you kind of have to know this, what they're talking about.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah, that's.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, honestly, that's any. We do best of every year.

[Ed Helms]

Sure, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

And just trying to figure out how much. How much do people need to hear of.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, but. But nobody ever knows what you're talking about, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point. Yeah. You've been confused this whole time. You're like pointing at other guests and doing a circle motion around your temple and pointing at me.

[Ed Helms]

I'm just confused.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, the podcast is called Snafu and we. It's out right now and people can listen to it right now. And from what I'm told, Pete Holmes is going to be on as at some point. So that's a selling point. And any other TV shows, movies coming up in the, in the, in the near future that, I mean, I know you're in. Babies, I know you're in. Smudge the Blades. I know you're in. She Gets it from Me.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, these are, these are all these great indies that I think will the Stunt Drive. Yeah, the Stunt Driver is a very cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's coming out soon. Soonish this year.

[Ed Helms]

These will probably be all of the movies you just mentioned will probably, hopefully be in film festival this fall. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

So if you're in a. Or attending a film festival, make sure to vote it for the audience award.

[Ed Helms]

There you go. The Stunt Driver. Very cool wild story.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a true story all about a Canadian stunt driver.

[Ed Helms]

Is that right? Yeah. So very literal title.

[Scott Aukerman]

They should have called it the Canadian Stunt Driver, but hey,

[Ed Helms]

so the story that's, that's a. A crazy one because there was a documentary made about this guy Ken Carter, who is the Canadian evil Knievel back in the the 70s. And this documentary is extensive. And the director, Michael Douse, who is also Canadian, got the rights to the documentary, but he also got access to all of the B roll, all of the footage from that the, the filmmakers had of the documentary. So what he did then was the, the, the documentary has Ken Carter performing all these incredible jumps and stunts as a stunt driver. You know, we don't do that anymore. As a society, we don't, we don't celebrate people jumping school buses in cars the way we used to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know, maybe because like everyone thinks everything is fake that they see now. So. What?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, and, and, well, or I mean, if you, if there's a positive way to spin it, it's that we've evolved past the sort of like human carnage fascination.

[Scott Aukerman]

I doubt it.

[Ed Helms]

No, because MMA is now is like more popular than ever.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it's just one CGI happened. Everyone's like, you can make anything look like anything at this point.

[Ed Helms]

Well, Ken Carter really did jump a lot of things. A lot of in cars. And this, there's a documentary about him. That's. That's incredible. And, and so Michael D, the director of this movie, shot us.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Ed Helms]

Jay, no. Jay Barell plays Ken Carter and he really does look like him. And he's intercutting the footage from the documentary.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the actual stunts are in the, in the actual movie.

[Ed Helms]

Like every stunt you see in our movie be real.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I guess that's better than Jay Barel having to do a. I,

[Ed Helms]

I, I mean, I, he's, he's a great actor.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a great actor, but could he,

[Ed Helms]

could he jump cars? Probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, look, let's give him the benefit of the doubt.

[Ed Helms]

But that's a. I'm super excited. I haven't seen that one yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's incredible. You played Dick Keller. Of course.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Ed Helms is here. Can you stick around, Ed? Because we have to take a break. But we have, we have a very entertainment focused show. We have a actor slash casting director slash teacher here.

[Ed Helms]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So maybe we'll learn a little bit about the business.

[Ed Helms]

Bring it on.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Ed Helms is here. We're going to be right back with more Ed, more comedy. Bang bang. We'll be right back after this. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace. It's your all in one platform for building a standout online presence. Whether you're launching something new or leveling up your business, you can secure your domain, create a polished website, share what you have to offer, and get paid all in one place. I hate going to a separate place to get paid. Now you can get paid right there at Squarespace. Squarespace makes it easy to book gigs, sell services, and get paid with built in scheduling, invoicing and email tools. You can create a standout site fast using AI or designer templates. No experience needed. Plus, built in SEO helps fans and clients find you While custom domains keep your brand polished and secure, showcase videos, promote events, or even monetize content, everything is designed to help you grow your audience and your business. Check out squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you are ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Warm Weather is finally here. Do you like that song? I like it too. That's why I sang it. But it's also based on truth. Because warm weather is finally here and it's time for breathable, durable clothes that move with you. Wouldn't that be terrible? If you moved and your clothes just stood where you used to be, then you'd be naked. That would be terrible. Mack Weldon makes clothes that actually, when you put them on your body, it actually moves along with you and doesn't stay right there. So that's one thing in the plus column. They balance classic pieces with updated details to keep you looking sharp. They're designed to fit your style and the demands of modern life. Think crazy comfortable but elevated sweatpants, shorts, sweatshirts, even blazers. Their pieces are easy to style and built for versatile looks that you never have to overthink. Mack Weldon it's effortless by design. I've gotten a lot of stuff from Mack Weldon. Let's see, recently the radius 5 pocket pant wearing right now I got that in asphalt and moonlighting. Moonlighting is a color I found out. It's like a blue tech linen camp shirt. I got one of those. A Dean oxford shirt. I got a hoodie that I wore this morning when it was a little chilly. Full zip sweatshirt. Got a couple of those. Look, they have great stuff. Get moving with Mack Weldon Comfortable anywhere. Go to mackweldon.com and get 20% off your first order of $125 or more with promo code BANG BANG. That is M A C-K W-E-L-O-N.com and then code Bang Bang. Mint Mobile plans are only $15 per month. Wondering what's the catch? There isn't one. There are no gimmicks, no gotchas. Just unlimited talk, text and data, fast, reliable coverage on the nation's largest 5G network and an award winning care team that makes Mint Mobile a catch. Mint Mobile took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with Premium Wireless. For $15 a month you can even bring your current phone and your number. Choose from 3, 6 or 12 month plans and say goodbye to a monthly bill to get your New wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month. Go to mintmobile.com Bang Bang that's mintmobile.com Bang Bang Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com BangBang that's it. There's no catch. $45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Ed Helms is here. Snafu is the podcast now. Has Greg Daniels returned a text message at all? Sorry, Flowers.

[Bob Duca]

Status me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, sorry, Ed.

[Ed Helms]

I know this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

You has. Has Greg Daniels returned?

[Ed Helms]

Well, so I was in airplane mode because I'm a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Response.

[Bob Duca]

I'm not Greg Daniels. I'm your ex. Stepfather.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Hi, Bob. Yeah, hi, Bob.

[Ed Helms]

Is that true?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Your ex step.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bob was married to my mother for six months.

[Bob Duca]

We made love three times.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never asked you about this. Was it every two months? Three at the beginning or. Or two at the beginning and once.

[Ed Helms]

What was the distribution?

[Bob Duca]

1.5 and 1.5.

[Scott Aukerman]

So. So you had full sex in one hand job Once.

[Bob Duca]

Well, it's a bit fives. 0.5. It's regional. It depends on who you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's getting to second base, though, is it not?

[Bob Duca]

I don't do bases.

[Ed Helms]

I guess if you're. Yeah, that would make. That would be a logical way to do it.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

If there's four bases, the second base would be I.

[Bob Duca]

In the Duka family, we do it, but cricket style.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you mean cricket, the English game or the.

[Ed Helms]

Instead of a baseball metaphor, It's a cricket. Sex as a cricket. So what is a. What is a home? What is when you have sex?

[Bob Duca]

Chapstick.

[Ed Helms]

Tapstick.

[Bob Duca]

Top stick.

[Ed Helms]

Top stick. And I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that a cricket family from England?

[Bob Duca]

No, we just. It was just a more useful. Useful metaphor.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see.

[Ed Helms]

Wait, are you sure you're not talking about croquet? Croquet or cricket?

[Bob Duca]

Cricket. Because there's another that is confusing. You can get to thick stick.

[Ed Helms]

But these aren't cricket terms, are they?

[Bob Duca]

There's big old thick bat and cricket.

[Ed Helms]

You're just making up cricket terms.

[Bob Duca]

Well, they're. They. Well, I. No, I'm not making them up. They're real. And then you apply them to sex.

[Scott Aukerman]

Retroactive parts of sex.

[Bob Duca]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. It sounds.

[Ed Helms]

Sounds like we're in a sticky wicket, guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we'll see about that. Hi, Bob. It's Bob. Duca. Ed. You. You. You guys did the television show, the comedy Bang Bang TV show together.

[Ed Helms]

That's true. I've done live. I've been on stage with Bob Duka before. It's a. I'm. I have very, very mixed feelings about Bob Duka.

[Scott Aukerman]

As do I. Look, I mean, he comes around.

[Bob Duca]

Preaching to the choir, guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

He comes around once a year, a lot like Santa Claus, but instead of presents.

[Bob Duca]

That's right. This year I invited myself. I manifested it. I put it in my calendar and I said, this is so.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, that's just putting something on your calendar.

[Bob Duca]

You weren't invited, and yet here it's happening now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, because you showed up, Right?

[Bob Duca]

I did the work.

[Ed Helms]

Wait, there's a difference between manifesting something and just. And just doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ed Helms]

It's like. It's like. It's like saying, I manifested this loaf of bread. Well, no, you went to the grocery store and you bought.

[Bob Duca]

But you first have to manifest before you go in. Manifest as you think it, and then you go and you do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but I mean, you can say, like, I manifest that I'm going to play in the World Series this year, but then you just.

[Bob Duca]

You're proving my point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Then you show up in the locker room one day. You didn't manifest it. You broke into a locker room.

[Bob Duca]

What if you get to play in the World Series?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, has that ever happened before? That's something that. That would be a snafu.

[Ed Helms]

I mean, in Bob's defense, presumably everyone who is playing in the World Series at any given year did manifest it.

[Bob Duca]

What if I do this?

[Scott Aukerman]

True. Yes.

[Bob Duca]

For this next World Series, what if I show up in an old timey baseball costume and then I run out and I play. I catch a. I catch a fly ball.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think that they would. This is the question. Because, you know, I. You see this all the time in major league baseball games. People jump the stands, they run out. Usually they're streaking, they're naked. But what if you showed up in an actual baseball costume and you just pretended you were part of the team? How long would it take for them to say, like, oh, wait a minute, that guy isn't part of the team?

[Ed Helms]

I'm gonna guess it would take, like, maybe and, like, from, like, a streaker they know right away. Sure. If you jump down in a perfect replica of, like, a Dodgers uniform with, like, a glove and everything and ran just, like, kind of like casually jog to the outfield, and then. And then the. The real player got to the outfield, and you guys had an exchange. Like, wait, what do you do?

[Scott Aukerman]

Spider man pointing at each other meme.

[Ed Helms]

My guess is that it would take about 10 seconds longer.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. You. 10 seconds of grace.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. It would buy you about 10 seconds before security.

[Scott Aukerman]

He kicked in.

[Bob Duca]

I have an even better one. What if you. You combine them and you're like a streaker, but you just go in it at they're. They. Halftime. You go into the locker room, seventh inning stretch, maybe naked with the. With the players.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think in baseball.

[Bob Duca]

And you wait for them to notice if you're.

[Scott Aukerman]

I actually don't think in any sport the players are getting naked during halftime. I don't think like an NFL. Like, okay, they're all like, you know what? Let me just get naked.

[Bob Duca]

You don't think they're just like, I feel gross. I'm going to feel they're staying in

[Scott Aukerman]

their pads and everything.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Okay.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

But.

[Ed Helms]

But also. Well, but let's. At the end of the game, they're showering, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Ed Helms]

So.

[Bob Duca]

Okay.

[Ed Helms]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

So shower with them after the game and then go home.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, that's with them. Here's a question, though, for real. Is it if. If you join the team while they're naked showering and you're naked, does it count as streaking at that point?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good question.

[Bob Duca]

I think it's a good. It's still a good prank because you could just go in there. But that was rough, huh?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, because streaking. Streaking implies being in public naked, but that's kind of a shower in a Major League baseball game is sort of a public activity. Although it's not public in. In the sense of anyone could walk in. I don't know. I don't know where I stand on this. Streaking.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, it's a tr. It's a tough one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Bobble, it's been great to see you.

[Bob Duca]

Wait, wait. No, I'm sorry. You ain't getting rid of me that easily.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Bob, what did. What did you come here for? I. I have Ed Helms here. Huge Hollywood star. This.

[Ed Helms]

This.

[Bob Duca]

This.

[Ed Helms]

This.

[Scott Aukerman]

You.

[Bob Duca]

You. You should care about this, because I found out something about my medical history.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you were just my stepfather for six months when I was in my 30s. I don't think this is gonna.

[Bob Duca]

Listen, I loved you and your mother enough that. It. It. It's. It's. It's biological at this point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right. What. What did you find?

[Bob Duca]

Well, the results of my 23.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's. That's the more religious 23andMe.

[Bob Duca]

No, it's a genealogy thing where you spit into this guy Steve's mouth and then he tells you your ancestry.

[Ed Helms]

Where is Steve?

[Bob Duca]

Where is. At this point? I don't know. He's probably at the farmer's market.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but where. Where do you go to see him? Does he come by the house or does he.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And why do you think he's at the farmer's market now?

[Bob Duca]

That's where I met him.

[Scott Aukerman]

So people aren't always. Always at the place that you met them.

[Bob Duca]

How do you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I mean? If I met someone at the farmer's market on, like, Friday at 2pm I wouldn't like Monday at 9pm Go. That guy's probably.

[Bob Duca]

Why do I get so scared if I see my teacher in the real world?

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, you got it. You made a good point.

[Ed Helms]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what did you find out with 23 and Steve?

[Bob Duca]

Well, I earned some. It's not good. It turns out that I'm mostly carbuncle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Carbuncle?

[Bob Duca]

Yes. Genetically or genetically?

[Ed Helms]

Genetically. Your carbuncle.

[Bob Duca]

Yes.

[Ed Helms]

And a carbuncle. Remind me. That's like a barnacle.

[Bob Duca]

Like a witch's wart.

[Ed Helms]

A witch's wart.

[Bob Duca]

Like a big, thick.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, a carbuncle. It's like a medical thing.

[Bob Duca]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so your. Your. Most of your body is carbuncle.

[Bob Duca]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's like a growth on something else.

[Ed Helms]

Wait, are you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is.

[Ed Helms]

Are you predominantly a carbuncle on Bob Duka or is Bob Duka.

[Scott Aukerman]

It sounds to me like maybe you had a twin in the womb and you're the carbuncle. On. On.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah, it's like, who's eating who here? You know what I mean? Yeah. Guys.

[Ed Helms]

Wow. Why.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you want to high five me after you say who's eating who? Put your hand down, Bob. Tell me. Tell me what. What else you found out about.

[Bob Duca]

Well, there's some other diseases that I have too. And this. This for you and your child. You know, this is valuable risk for these as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what do you got?

[Bob Duca]

Saint Vitus's dance. Quincy Gripe. Pepper tongue.

[Ed Helms]

Wait, gripe is a disease?

[Bob Duca]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. And you have it?

[Bob Duca]

Yes.

[Ed Helms]

Do you know they. That's a thing you can get at the pharmacy is gripe water.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Bob Duca]

Yeah. Yeah. Which.

[Scott Aukerman]

That maybe that would cure your gripe.

[Bob Duca]

And contrary to what people think, it's not. If you have a complaint about Smart. Water.

[Ed Helms]

Water. Right. Oh, boy.

[Bob Duca]

Carcinoma. Merkel Cell carcinoma. Urkel cell carcinoma. AKA did I do rash. Anyway, but that's not what I hear.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was the shortest list you've ever. Those are the, Those are the things.

[Ed Helms]

Well, you have carcinoma, but Merkel cell

[Bob Duca]

carcinoma, that's another type of carcinoma.

[Ed Helms]

And then Urkel and, And motorcycle anoma.

[Bob Duca]

I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bob Duca]

Inside carcinoma.

[Ed Helms]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a lot of stuff, Bob. How are you.

[Bob Duca]

That's not. That's not what you came here to talk about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. What, What?

[Bob Duca]

Why These new findings has caused me to, to, to reinvigorate my healthcare team. You know, I have a whole plethora.

[Scott Aukerman]

We always want to reinvigorate our health care teams. It's true.

[Bob Duca]

It's true. You have to. You have to.

[Scott Aukerman]

If I don't do that once a year.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, just reinvigorate your healthcare team.

[Ed Helms]

You mean like new people or just kind of, like, give them a high five?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'm not quite sure.

[Bob Duca]

New people. You have to always add new. New people. Find out what, what your needs are, you know, and so I, I, I, I just wanted to read out a list of some of the amazing caregivers that are involved in my life, because it takes a village, believe it or not. It takes. It takes a whole team to keep this old bag of bones moving.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Bob, you've been coming on the show now for 17 years. I do believe it. So you want to read this list here?

[Bob Duca]

May I?

[Scott Aukerman]

By all means. The floor is yours.

[Bob Duca]

Can you say it? Not sarcastic.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I can.

[Bob Duca]

Okay, that's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think that my body will allow me to do that.

[Bob Duca]

The following are members of my healthcare team. Primary care physician, chiropractor, therapist, herbalist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on now you're just reading their jobs. I thought that you were going to give them shout outs. The specific.

[Bob Duca]

No, no. These are the titles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. All right, go ahead. Sorry, it's a. You just. Your setup was like, you wanna.

[Ed Helms]

I did think you were gonna say names of people.

[Bob Duca]

Well, I'm sorry to keep you both on your toes and defy your expectations.

[Ed Helms]

Like, if I were giving Scott a shout out, I wouldn't say podcaster.

[Bob Duca]

I live in a Lego world. Everybody is their title.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I, I apologize. I don't mean to interrupt your flow. Go ahead, start. Start again, if you don't mind.

[Bob Duca]

Again.

[Ed Helms]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wherever you like, Bob. Wherever you like.

[Bob Duca]

Chiropractor, therapist, herbalist, Poop, doula, ufc, Dentist, catheter, sniper, defibrillator. Caddy, phlebotomist, Toilet daddy, Porta Potty, mommy, Crossing guard, White witch. And I don't mean that in a racial. I just mean a suburban woman who goes into pentagrams. Right? Seeing eyes, Amboni, Yoga goat, Gen Z, interpreter, Aarp whisperer, Chewy candy molar miner, Extra thick nail podiatrist, Real doll mechanic, Skin tag, arborist, Rash scratcher, cyst, warden waddle, sander, Belly button, Renotter, Marijuana clown, Under bed, Monster checker, Large pill, Neck massager, Tip froster. Getting ready for summer, y'.

[Scott Aukerman]

All.

[Bob Duca]

Scab moistener, Stool tightener, Toot loosener, helper, Monkey helper, Monkey assassin. Just in case. Hammer toe, blacksmith. Pelvic mesh, girdle, grundle bundler.

[Ed Helms]

Say that again if you can.

[Bob Duca]

Pelvic mesh. Pelvic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Try the third time.

[Bob Duca]

Pelvic mesh, girdle, grundle bundler. Pelvic flesh of girdle, grundler bundler.

[Ed Helms]

And what's their name?

[Bob Duca]

Dennis.

[Ed Helms]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. This is the dentist that you always talk about.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, no, not the dead dentist. Dead Dennis.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but you have a dead dentist as well.

[Bob Duca]

I do.

[Ed Helms]

That's a part of your team is a dead dentist?

[Bob Duca]

No, I have a UFC dentist.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Bob Duca]

Which is just to be clear, he. To get gym time, if you can make it past his front door, he gives you a free exam.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. How often have you made it past.

[Bob Duca]

He beats the out of me. I haven't made it in yet. Pickled brine, bartender, Back knee, Chaperone Lice spotter, ensure shaker, colonoscopy, Gaffer, spitting. My food tester.

[Scott Aukerman]

Testing.

[Ed Helms]

Wow.

[Bob Duca]

Testing to make sure there's no spit in my.

[Scott Aukerman]

To make sure there's no. Yeah. Wow. And that's. That's the extent of your team? Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Is that.

[Ed Helms]

Are they. Are they all covered by insurance?

[Bob Duca]

No, the. The. There's a very. Well, it's a whole system of. Of different insurances and. And cvs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Double blinds.

[Bob Duca]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

And is. It is. But everyone on that list is a different person or does, like, one person take on a few different.

[Bob Duca]

All different people. All different people.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, yeah, there's a lot of people at your house every day.

[Bob Duca]

Listen, it's absolutely. But you find. You find what you need, and then. And then that's important. A lot of people think taking care of their health is just having a doctor.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, this is preventative medicine.

[Bob Duca]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although a lot of it sounds like you should have prevented it before. Like, who was it the back knee? I can't remember the second word. But

[Bob Duca]

I mean it probably take me a while to find it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you can do just a control find or.

[Ed Helms]

Or the. Yeah, like the poop doula.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean everybody poops.

[Ed Helms]

Sure, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it sounds like you're having issues getting it out.

[Bob Duca]

Oh yes. Oh yes.

[Ed Helms]

Maybe if you could employ it like a. A fiber wrangler, then you might not need the poop doula.

[Bob Duca]

I don't qual. I don't have Medicare.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, right, that's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. And you've always had issues with ingesting fiber, hasn't that. I remember that during the time you were.

[Bob Duca]

I thought it meant eat clothes.

[Ed Helms]

Right.

[Bob Duca]

Everybody got mad at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, I mean. Yeah. Speaking about streaking, I was out of a full wardrobe one night, so this is.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, I would just take. I would just take a little, little bite of your. Of a thread. And then you'd run away. And you were always just so busy working workaholic, always nosing your phone. You didn't realize that you were naked after a little while.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Ed Helms]

Where is 23 and Steve now?

[Bob Duca]

Right this second?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, right this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Do you have a find my location Finder on him at all or did you.

[Bob Duca]

It's just a string.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wonder. You have strings tied onto all of your fingers, right?

[Bob Duca]

I'm guess by this tension

[Scott Aukerman]

pulling on the string a little bit.

[Bob Duca]

This is.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is like watching someone sail a ship back during, you know, ship sailing times. I'm sorry, I can't be more specific than that in my reference.

[Bob Duca]

I think, I think he. I think he's at the Jack in the Box by the old amoeba.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh yeah. Now the one they tore down. What's he doing there?

[Bob Duca]

They tore down that Jack in the box.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh yes, they did.

[Ed Helms]

Amoeba is gone and the Jack in the Box.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I'm so sorry. So sorry to break this news to you, Bob.

[Bob Duca]

He's probably dead.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think? 23 and Steve is dead.

[Ed Helms]

When they tore down the Jack in the box. Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow, this is bad. But, but look, Bob, you have a lot going on with you, so it's. At least you're out there trying to do something about your health because I've been concerned about you all these years.

[Bob Duca]

Why?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, just every time you come by, you have. Usually you have a list of all of your new ailments that you're saying. At least this time you have the people who are there.

[Bob Duca]

I'm. Yeah. Taking the positive steps.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Bob Duca]

But you know, it's funny, if you're if you're concerned about me and I don't want you to be.

[Ed Helms]

Be.

[Bob Duca]

Maybe I should move in here so you can keep a closer eye on me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you know who I hear has a great place with a lot of extra room is Ed. Actually, like, I was hearing you were talking during the break about string onto your ankle.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, wait a second. I didn't. I. That's pure fiction.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was kind of like, saying how much square footage you had. No, much of it was kind of empty all day, and so I. I.

[Ed Helms]

We.

[Bob Duca]

You.

[Ed Helms]

We weren't talking about that. That's a total fiction. You're making that up. Up. However, I do have a lot of spare room. But my.

[Bob Duca]

And I'm.

[Ed Helms]

I'm just gonna. My wife has a strict no carbuncle policy in our house, and that's not. I would. I would love to have.

[Bob Duca]

I can't say I believe I should have said this before. My carbuncles are contagious. Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, boy. You've been rubbing up against both of us this entire time?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, I. I thought that. I thought that was odd behavior.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. But I. Look, I. I long and yearn for human connections.

[Ed Helms]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wasn't gonna say anything. Right.

[Ed Helms]

Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

But now that I know you're infectious, it's.

[Ed Helms]

So we're gonna get carbuncles?

[Bob Duca]

Most likely.

[Ed Helms]

You don't look like a carbuncle to me.

[Bob Duca]

Thank you. But a lot of people think I'm a carbuncle with googly eyes. Not true. I'm a human person.

[Ed Helms]

You smell a little bit like what I would think a carbuncle might smell like, which is sort of like a rotten.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah. You've been rubbing air fresheners all over your body this entire time as well. Where have you gotten all of those from? From your own car or.

[Bob Duca]

No, no, no, no. From. From the car wash garbage can.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can find a lot of good stuff there.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, really good stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Those old steering wheel cover things.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know how many times I've gotten to car wash and I say, you know, I'm good. I'm just going to throw away my old steering. My steering wheel cozy. And get a new one.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah. And you're like, I. I. It's been so long since my car smelled like candy chemicals. I'm gonna get one of these air fresheners.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, so you smell sort of disgusting in that. That car wash kind of way.

[Bob Duca]

Right. I probably also smell like those chairs. The. The Massage chairs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Duca]

So I get a lot of extra. The, the food and stuff that people that, you know, shakes out.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's easy to lose something when you're sitting in one of those. You know, there's a lot of crumbs.

[Bob Duca]

There's a lot of crumbs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's.

[Bob Duca]

I mean, that could be enough if you put them together.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a full meal for a guy like you. Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

You know, and I was eavesdropping earlier. You're talking about luck. And, and. And I. I fully.

[Scott Aukerman]

Outside. We heard you open the door.

[Bob Duca]

No, and. And there was a study that. That lucky people think that they're lucky. Like, they just assume that they're lucky and they'll do things like. Like they'll say that they have a. Like a cycle, a test coming up. They don't know it's about luck. And the people who don't think that they're lucky and they put out like a 20 bill on the ground. People who don't think they're lucky don't notice the 20 bill, but the people who think they're lucky notice the 20 bill. If you think you're lucky, you're lucky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, who are these scientists putting out $20 bills on the ground? Because I want to follow one of them around.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, I don't know. It's probably.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good kind of. I mean, we're talking about Ponzi and his schemes. That's a good scheme. Like, find a scientist who's doing a study where he puts 20 bills on the ground and then just follow him around and pick him up.

[Bob Duca]

That's a. It seems like an elaborate scam. That wouldn't. It's a long time to.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a scheme. It's not a scam. Oh, is there a difference?

[Ed Helms]

But if you do that, that and you. And you wind up picking up like a lot of 20 bills. By Bob's description, you're lucky.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true.

[Ed Helms]

That makes you a very lucky person.

[Scott Aukerman]

The scientists would probably get mad at you after. After three.

[Bob Duca]

I'm sorry, you're like, what are you mad at?

[Ed Helms]

I'm validating your study.

[Bob Duca]

And then you'd have, what a mad science.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point.

[Ed Helms]

Is that out where they come from?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Bob Duca]

They're just a little irritated.

[Ed Helms]

Sure. Because you've messed up there. He would. And he would say, I'm unlucky.

[Bob Duca]

I think there's been a big misconception. People think that I'm insane. I just was annoyed about parking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Bob, this is all fascinating stuff. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I hope that 2026 turns out better for you. And and we love it when you drop by. I usually don't say this to you, Bob, but can you stick around? Come on, don't make me beg, Bob.

[Ed Helms]

All right, you broke it. Come on.

[Bob Duca]

Fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back, we do have an actor slash casting director slash teacher. This is very exciting. We're going to be right back with more Bob Duka, more Ed Helms. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. This show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, maybe you're someone who thrives or just survives during the summer season. Well, for some people, summer is their favorite season. Travel picks up, kids are out of school, and adventure is in full swing. But for others, juggling everything that summer demands can be tough. It can lead to feeling overwhelmed and counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school. So whether you're someone who thrives or just survives in the summer, make sure to take care of yourself during the warm months. Therapy with BetterHelp, the world's largest online therapy platform, can help you understand your needs, feel more confident setting boundaries, and create a version of summer that actually feels good. All you have to do is just take a short questionnaire to identify your needs and Preferences, and BetterHelp will handle the initial therapist matching work for you. Feel confident knowing betterhelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US you don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Bang Bang. That is betterhelp.com Bang Bang.

[Ed Helms]

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. Ed Helms is here. Ed, I gotta know. Take it off airplane mode Is Greg Daniels returned the text quite yet?

[Ed Helms]

Greg has replied.

[Scott Aukerman]

Greg has replied. This is exciting stuff. What do we got?

[Ed Helms]

He wrote, I am not going to take that beef up with hacks unless hacks takes on beef. Which leads me to believe that this must have been a joke question posed on the show hacks or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have, I, I don't, I don't know what he's making.

[Ed Helms]

Additional show references. Yeah, this, I mean, beef.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe he thinks that hacks and beef are the same kind of. Maybe he thinks they're spin offs of each other.

[Ed Helms]

Have you ever had hacks and beef, Bob? It's delicious.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I mean, this is why he's Greg Daniels. He's on another level.

[Ed Helms]

Another level, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, so. All right, well, that's.

[Ed Helms]

The great. Greg Daniels has spoken.

[Scott Aukerman]

He has. Fantastic. Well, given my best, of course. Never met. Well, Bob Duka is also here. Bob, what's been going on since, during the break, you, you were fielding phone calls and a lot of, a lot of stuff going on with you. What's happening?

[Bob Duca]

Well, yeah, I'm, I'm going. I'm starting a business.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you are?

[Bob Duca]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, everyone has a great idea. Some people are able to capitalize it, some people are not.

[Bob Duca]

Yes, I'm, I'm get. I got a job as a vape tester.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what, how does, I mean, why do vapes need testing?

[Bob Duca]

How do you make sure they work?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you gotta make sure.

[Ed Helms]

Do you test them as. Like that you're testing the technology of the product or you test the product on, on its way out the door? In other words, like if I go and buy a vape pen, can I. Have you tested it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Are you at the door testing it as. As I leave?

[Bob Duca]

Yeah, yeah. I'm a doorway. I'm a doorway vape tester. Because before you hit that parking lot, you want to make sure. You don't want to look like a jerk.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want to get all the way in your car.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Loaded up. I'm presuming that these things get loaded, I don't know, with E juice and suddenly it's not working. So you're there at the door. Okay. How's that going for you?

[Bob Duca]

I. I don't feel good. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Because I mean, you're taking hundreds of hits.

[Bob Duca]

Hundreds.

[Ed Helms]

Vape pins.

[Bob Duca]

I smell like sour apple and cotton candy all the time, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

I do know.

[Ed Helms]

How are your teeth?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Teeth?

[Bob Duca]

My teeth? Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, doing hundreds.

[Bob Duca]

I mean, they're terrible. That has nothing to do with the. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. All right, Good, good.

[Scott Aukerman]

How about your lungs? Your. You know.

[Bob Duca]

My lungs? Well, very bad, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about your. Your back, your neck, your crack? I may have said those out of order.

[Bob Duca]

Well, I got a tip top and an A1 crack.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, that's all we need to know about. All right, well, we need to get to our next guest. Okay. She's an actor slash casting director slash teacher. Please welcome to the show Paulina. Hi, Paulina.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Hello. Hi.

[Ed Helms]

Hi.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I am a casting director and act. Voice actor, huh? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And teacher as well.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

And teacher. Yes. I have an acting studio where I teach acting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. So you're a voice actor. I'm sorry, I should have been more specific. A voice actor.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Well, acting is voice acting, Scott. Right, sure, but. But what is acting? Right, Ed, you're an actor. Sure, right.

[Ed Helms]

I love acting.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

But what is acting?

[Ed Helms]

Well, you're the teacher.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right, right. But I'm asking you guys, what is.

[Ed Helms]

This is.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bob has an idea.

[Bob Duca]

Pretending.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Pretending.

[Bob Duca]

Halloween. Halloween. It's Halloween.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Halloween.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know that acting is Halloween, necessarily.

[Bob Duca]

You're not really a wolf.

[Ed Helms]

Sure.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

But what if you're playing. What if Scott Aukerman was playing a podcaster, right? Then he's playing something that is himself. Right. So it wouldn't be acting. That or it wouldn't be pretending then. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. So if you're saying, if I get a role in a movie playing a podcaster, which, honestly, I'm available. I am offer only, but I'm available. Tech avail, you think that I would not be pretending that I would actually be playing something close to myself? So that would not be acting.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right. So what is acting? It would be acting because you're in the movie, but it is not. Then acting is not pretending. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Saying lines that someone else wrote.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

But what if you're playing a character who is completely silent or quiet, like a dog or a cat?

[Ed Helms]

Ooh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Maybe this is a.

[Ed Helms]

This is a quite a Socratic journey we're on here. Yeah. Okay, so what is acting?

[Scott Aukerman]

What is being told what to do? And you trying to replicate that.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Wrong. No, no. It is not being told what to do. Acting comes from within. Right?

[Ed Helms]

Okay, sure. So it's when you.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's kind of weird to act something that comes from within and then the director.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I know.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah. Lying, lying, lying. Not telling the truth.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lying.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

What about the example we just posed where if you're playing something close to yourself, then you're not lying?

[Bob Duca]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, what do you got.

[Ed Helms]

Okay, so like act. I think of acting when I walk onto a set, I get a script and I'm thinking.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you don't get the script till you walk onto the set.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, no, no, I have already had. Yeah, that's a good point, Scott, thank you. I've had the script, I've internalized it. But then I get sides when I get onto this.

[Scott Aukerman]

And where do you hide them? Under your leg?

[Bob Duca]

Are you talking about mozzarella sticks? Are you talking about.

[Ed Helms]

No, no, no. Sides are the little tiny script pages that you get for that day's work. And it's, it's always in your back pocket. They're always in your back pocket. And, and I. You can almost always see them in actors pockets in movies and tv. So. But what I'm trying to get at is I'm trying to think like my. So I walk onto the set and what am I thinking? I'm thinking I'm going to portray someone's. A narrative that has been provided to me. And I'm wrong. Oh no, gosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was a good try.

[Ed Helms]

I know, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Apparently wrong.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

What? Acting is playing it real. Right.

[Ed Helms]

Okay.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That's something I do a lot at my studio. I have vocabulary that I've made up and I want people to guess it correctly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

What about Jim Carrey though? That's. Is he playing it real?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

He's playing it real because Jim Carrey for what. What role are you thinking?

[Scott Aukerman]

The mask. Yeah.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

And explain that movie.

[Ed Helms]

Okay, so the, the.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's an ancient. Is it ancient?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, I think there's an ancient mask.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it Egyptian?

[Ed Helms]

It's like the mask of Odin or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's Norse.

[Ed Helms]

I think it's Nor of Norse origin. And he puts it on and then he can, he becomes something like crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

He can do like googly eyes and he can. His tongue can unfurl when he sees a.

[Ed Helms]

And he turns green, which. Which I don't think is tethered to reality. So I know this is how I'm challenging.

[Scott Aukerman]

How can a mask turn your entire body green? You know?

[Ed Helms]

Sure.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

And that is exactly the actor's journey to take something like that and make it. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you say?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Playing it real.

[Scott Aukerman]

Playing it real?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Good. What does playing it real mean? This is terminology. Terminology you've made up.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

It's a terminology that we teach at the studio about acting and making it real and doing the work to get there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Playing it real.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

The work, the work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Because no matter what you are supposed to. You get a script and, oh, gosh, I have this mask that turns my face green. You have to play it real.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

You have to make that real.

[Bob Duca]

Okay, I have a question.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yes.

[Bob Duca]

Is this real?

[Ed Helms]

Real?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

This is real.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, this is a real conversation that we're having with real.

[Bob Duca]

How do I know you're not a podcaster pretending to be a podcaster? How do I know that he's not somebody. Somebody else that he's not. I don't know if he's being you guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

You and I have met several times.

[Bob Duca]

Right, But. But she's saying.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's saying. Right. Oh, but she's agreeing with you, I think.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right, right, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

But.

[Ed Helms]

But I thought she was saying right as a question.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. Right, right.

[Ed Helms]

She keeps saying, right, right. I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

We. Right.

[Ed Helms]

That's the thing is I'm not get. I'm way less clear this far into the conversation about what acting is.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Wrong. No, you're more clear. We've learned, Right. We've learned that acting is what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Playing, playing. Keeping playing it.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Doing the work.

[Bob Duca]

Gotta do the work.

[Ed Helms]

Doing the work to play it real.

[Scott Aukerman]

To play real. Right, and that's your process?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That's my process.

[Scott Aukerman]

Doing the work to play real.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yes, yes. I mean, I am a casting director and I, you know, when I was doing that type of work for video games. Casting, video games, voice acting, that's mainly what you cast. Mainly video games. Yes. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's like the cutscenes where people are like, hey, we got a real Red Dead redemption going on.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No, not just the cut scenes. No, those are old video games. Now, in these video games, we have. We have beautiful actors. Oh, beautiful actors delivering beautiful lines. As orcs as you walk around the world, or elves, perhaps. Each the land is populated with voice actors that will talk to your character.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so this is like you see a merchant or something, right? We've had a merchant on the show before from a video game.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

And.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they come up to you and they go like, hey, I got all this kind of stuff for.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want to buy some of this?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right. That's the example of what it would sound like if someone had not done the work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wait, you'd think that I. That read I just gave you was. Was false.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right?

[Bob Duca]

What.

[Scott Aukerman]

What could I do to improve it? Well, what are your methods? I still don't know what your methods are.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right. I'm glad you've asked.

[Ed Helms]

The work. I mean, it starts with the work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Starts with the work.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

But what is something that scares you?

[Bob Duca]

Women.

[Ed Helms]

Sometimes what is something that scares me? Oh, I'm. I'm very scared of heights.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Wrong. No. Do. Do heights have teeth? Do. Do heights chase you around and have teeth?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's a good question.

[Ed Helms]

They don't. They don't have those things. But they can kill you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got something I'm scared of a vampire who, who dies because, like, a vampire hunter kills them and then they become a vampire ghost.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, they have teeth.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No. Do they? Do they.

[Ed Helms]

And they chase you around.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Do they have fur? Do they seem cute and cuddly at first, and then you go up to them, and then suddenly there's a pack of them swarming you.

[Ed Helms]

Wait, so the only thing to be af. Afraid of is. Are. Is werewolves and coyotes? No.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No. Do they seem cute and cuddly at first, and then suddenly they start petting it, and then it's chasing you down Los Feliz Boulevard?

[Scott Aukerman]

Are these the gremlins?

[Ed Helms]

No.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Wrong.

[Ed Helms]

No, no. It sounds like you're describing coyotes.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

So coyotes.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No. Wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what?

[Ed Helms]

So something Coyote Dogs, right?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Dogs are scary. They will kill you.

[Ed Helms]

Not all dogs. Most dogs, not.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

So I was on Los Feliz Boulevard petting a dog, okay. And I got chased down the street by that. More dogs kept coming up to each other and starting to chase me down the street until I had to hide in an Aesop.

[Ed Helms]

So you're. First of all, I don't know what an Aesop is, but your soap store, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why don't they call it soap?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, that's right.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

Also, I always thought it was Aesop.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, I, you know. Yeah. I don't really know.

[Ed Helms]

The point is, you're clearly scared of dogs, but you asked us what we're scared of.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right?

[Ed Helms]

So are you not projecting your fear of dogs onto us?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I am trying to get you guys to tap into places that you haven't tapped into before. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are the primal fears.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

The primal fears. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Okay.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

So, for example, let's say you were going to play in, let's say, an orc. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's. By the way, you're very focused on orcs and elves. Is this the only type of video game that. Yeah. Bob wants to know if they're real.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

They're real. That depends on how you play them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, right. But. But why don't you give, like, the three of us an acting exercise and you can see how we play it.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

An acting exercise. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I would love to do a scene with these.

[Ed Helms]

Me too.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Okay, great. All right, let's say you are an elf. And you are a merchant. And you are an orc. Orc. Right, let's. All right, let's see. Let's see how you play that scene.

[Ed Helms]

Sure. Well, who's who again?

[Bob Duca]

I'm the elf.

[Ed Helms]

I'm the merchant.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess I'm the orc.

[Bob Duca]

Okay, great.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right?

[Ed Helms]

All right, get your apples. Get your old timey apples right here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who wants an apple? I am a gear app.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. Hey, you're huge and terrifying.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I'm just a big cuddle bear underneath it all.

[Ed Helms]

Okay, so you're not trying to kill me?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not trying to kill you. Just because of my appearance, you think I'm trying to kill you?

[Ed Helms]

Come on. It costs 4. 4. 4 gold nuggets. For an apple? For one apple. One apple.

[Bob Duca]

You.

[Ed Helms]

They're very rare.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Break it up. Come on, guys. What's going on here?

[Ed Helms]

Oh, that. You're cute.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah, thanks. Can I. Can I have an apple man?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, you just came over to say break it up just so you guys cut the line?

[Bob Duca]

No, you guys started to get into a little kerfuffle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, so what? That doesn't mean that you're next.

[Ed Helms]

Well, here's the problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're haggling Orc.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, do you have a name?

[Bob Duca]

Yeah, you know, I don't call you. Names are over.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just.

[Ed Helms]

Well, I just don't know what your name is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Steve.

[Ed Helms]

Steve. Okay. Steve and El.

[Scott Aukerman]

Steve Lamont.

[Ed Helms]

Okay. Duh. Steve Lamont.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Oh, my God.

[Ed Helms]

Wait, are you the Steve Lamont that's been leaving me notes?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean.

[Ed Helms]

Up, up. Okay.

[Bob Duca]

Break it up. Break it up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Break it up.

[Bob Duca]

Break it up.

[Ed Helms]

Up.

[Bob Duca]

Let me just.

[Ed Helms]

He's been complaining about my cart placement for Jazz.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think those. I think those notes just say Steve. L, by the way.

[Ed Helms]

Okay, well, then you would you. Just knowing that makes it clear. You are. It's the same Steve.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're the same Steve.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, you can. He's been complaining to the HOA about my. My apple cart placement. And. And now I know who it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, Bob, you want to cut now?

[Ed Helms]

I'm going to definitely sell my. The one apple. I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is why Ed's a professionally staying in the scene. Bob, what did you want to say?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Can I do a stunt if I got in? If this audition crossed my desk, I would throw it directly into the garbage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, why didn't you give us any fucking directions?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

You didn't do the work. This is what happens. We have lost all. All ability to do the work. All empathy. All empathy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I named The Apples I named myself.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, I named him the Orcs. I gave him a last name.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is what happens.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, yeah, you did.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, you did.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I get hundreds of auditions. I get hundreds of auditions like this a day. They cross my desk, I throw them right in the garbage. It was the pandemic. We had no empathy for each other. No empathy whatsoever. Not any of us have mentioned the pandemic since we've been here. Have any of you mentioned the pandemic. We're all just going around acting like this didn't happen, that it didn't happen, that we didn't go through this, and I would have to throw all these in the garbage.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Paulina. Paulina. Paulina. I'm sorry we didn't mention the pandemic. We didn't.

[Bob Duca]

She was acting.

[Ed Helms]

Wait, were you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think that real.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

What was playing it real. Oh, that was very real.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was very real. Okay, look, I'm sorry we didn't mention the pandemic. I'm sorry we didn't mention how we're all afraid of dogs.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

We have no empathy for each other.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, do you want us to try it again?

[Ed Helms]

It feels like we have work to do.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

You have. Okay. What? Let's get into character a little bit. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. What is an orc, by the way?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That's exactly right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does it fly? No, it's. It's like a big troll or. What is it?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No, a troll. No, a troll is what little girls play with that they get in McDonald's, Happy Meals. Right.

[Ed Helms]

They sound like Justin Timberlake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. Do you know what an org. Anyone know what an orc.

[Ed Helms]

I thought it was just a big scary guy that. That kind of, like.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Scary like an ogre.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

It's a planet.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

What makes. What makes an OR watching so much more convenient?

[Ed Helms]

Oh, yeah, you're right. Mork is for mork.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nanu. Nanu.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

They are bloodthirsty. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Orcs are okay. This is good info.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Thirsty, right? Well, you have to do the work. I don't know why you jumped.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you just said I was an orc, right? I don't know what one is. All right, let's try it again. Bloodthirsty orc.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

They are bloodthirsty monsters that will kill you.

[Ed Helms]

All right, get your apples right over here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have any blood? I'm thirsty.

[Ed Helms]

All I got sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, look, a dog. I haven't been this scared since the pandemic. Good, good. Yes.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm nailing this.

[Ed Helms]

All he did Was Mitch mention the pandemic and pretend like he's scared of dogs. And that's how, like, now he's getting the part.

[Bob Duca]

Gentlemen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Turned it into a musical.

[Bob Duca]

Please don't fight.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right, Right.

[Ed Helms]

He's just singing, and that gets him.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

You are so resistant.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, my gosh. Help me break down those barriers, man.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Be vulnerable.

[Ed Helms]

I don't get it.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I was just so vulnerable.

[Ed Helms]

Give me one more chance. You were vulnerable.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I was vulnerable. Vulnerable. I admitted that I had a hard time in the pandemic.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, you did. You're right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Any other strange.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. Like, what's something. What's another thing that. That you're scared of?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right. Well, it's not about me. Right, Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

But what. What are you.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

What? What. What's. Oh, I know, right?

[Bob Duca]

One of those RFK Jr. Bone worms. Brain worms.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does that have bone worms and brainworms?

[Bob Duca]

I would think. Well, there's smoke, there's fire.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ed Helms]

Got a brain worm in his bones.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Think. Seriously, if I'm an acting teacher and I'm here right now, what is something that might scare me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Failure. No. If you're on Comedy bank, that's one thing usually my guests are thinking about.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, good. Like if. If Dave Grohl walked in and did a. Like a guitar solo, that might scare you.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Close.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, and light falling on your head.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why don't you just tell us instead of making. Making us guess it? Because I feel like this is going to be very.

[Ed Helms]

Knives.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right? No, not. No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Murder.

[Bob Duca]

Forgetting your lines.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, getting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just tell us. Warmer.

[Ed Helms]

A zombie.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Colder.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Colder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, bobcats.

[Ed Helms]

Mountain lions.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Close, but no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bobcats Forgetting their lines.

[Bob Duca]

Working with kids and children. Don't do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bobcat Goldthwaite. Being in a movie with Bobcat Goldthwaite.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Wrong. Right. Wrong. That felt wrong. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

Just tell us.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, like a. A baby carriage getting pushed out into traffic.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That's correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

A speeding car.

[Ed Helms]

It is.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That's right.

[Ed Helms]

I got it. Okay, let's do. Can we do the scene again?

[Scott Aukerman]

Scene again.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Okay.

[Ed Helms]

Get your apples. I got your apples. Right over. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a baby carriage.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, my God. That's so it. Don't push it into traffic.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Where's the pandemic?

[Ed Helms]

We forgot there's a dog health inspector.

[Bob Duca]

Okay, listen, we got something about. We got to reevaluate your A rating. Notice there' a bunch of schlored poop around here.

[Ed Helms]

Well, sure, because we have the pandemic. Okay, okay, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

And scene. What do you think of that?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That Felt incredible. I want you all to take a second and be so proud of yourselves for going there.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I'm going to take two seconds. Vulnerable. Yeah. Being vulnerable like that, Ed, I really. I really felt at that time, I

[Ed Helms]

feel like you got up. It got to a new level.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, that. That was really good work. Thanks.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

We don't talk about it.

[Ed Helms]

It.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't talk about what.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

The pandemic. Right.

[Ed Helms]

We do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Honestly, it feels like it comes up a lot.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, it does come up.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right. But not enough. Right. Because we hadn't mentioned it since I sat down. It's like we forgot what we went through.

[Scott Aukerman]

When did you first move to LA?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I ask, was it March of 2020?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wrong. No. When was it?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Colder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Colder than what I haven't seen. Have taken a stab before that.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Let's see. Well, what other dates could I have?

[Scott Aukerman]

February of 2020.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No, colder.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. You got to give me a colder or warmer. I don't know, June of 2020.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Closer.

[Ed Helms]

Did you get Covid?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Did I get Covid? Well, let's find out. I am an acting teacher and I came here and sat down with you guys to do the work. Do we think that I got covet?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Quite honestly, I feel like you're experiencing long Covid right now. Right, right, right. I guess. Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

The right. The way. The way you say right is very confusing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Ed Helms]

Because sometimes it feels like an affirmation

[Scott Aukerman]

and sometimes it feels like a chastisation.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. Like an accusation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, Right.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah. I think that would be very. A good asset as an acting teacher because I'm not in the profession, but I feel like I'm confused and inferior and I want your approval and I would just keep it. Been caking classes with you as long as it took until I got a little bit of a nod.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Now that is interesting. Now why don't we dig deeper on that? What is something.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much money does he have? That's one question you need to ask Bob because he's. He has really bad credit.

[Bob Duca]

I'm auditing. I'm auditing the class.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You have a negative 8,000 credit score, I think. And I do. Yeah. And he has so many bills and he doesn't have a lot of just, you know, walking around money to take your class. Classes. I'm so sorry.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Do you think he would be willing to put down a payment even yet?

[Bob Duca]

Do you take Dave and Buster's tickets?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

No, but I take something close. What would. Is what is something that I would take instead of money for My class. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess.

[Ed Helms]

Odd jobs, Sexual favors.

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, I know.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, maybe you could hook her up with 23 and Steve.

[Bob Duca]

23 and Steve.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Wrong.

[Bob Duca]

Spit my mouth. I'll bring it over to him.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I will do that, but it's not the answer to the question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please make us stop guessing. We're running out of time on this segment. What? What is it?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I would also take having connections that would put me in a voice acting booth.

[Bob Duca]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, but that's your job.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I mean, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but I mean, you know, Ed here, he has some. Some upcoming voice work. I know. He just did Agent Elvis, which is a show. You played Robert Goulet.

[Ed Helms]

That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

And don't you have some. Some animated movies coming out or something like that?

[Bob Duca]

Not.

[Ed Helms]

Not nothing new.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in Big Mouth.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, I mean, I've done a lot of animation over the years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but. But you've decided to stop doing that. No. Do we need to put out a. This is for all the casting directors out there. Ed Helms is no longer doing voiceover.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I'm marking that down.

[Ed Helms]

No, no, I'm marking that down. I love doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's above it.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

You love it. But are you doing the work for it?

[Ed Helms]

That's the thing is, I'm not sure I'm doing the work.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got to make sure your next anime character is scared of dogs and constantly references the pandemic.

[Ed Helms]

Obsessed with the pandemic.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what was the third thing? Oh, yeah, it is. He's baby strollers.

[Ed Helms]

Right. As scared of baby strollers being pushed into traffic.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

As long as you do those things and give Paulina a job.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yes.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's doing the work.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, I guess that's the work.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That's the work. Right.

[Ed Helms]

Wow. That's because I feel like I worked with someone that came out of your studio and they really. They wouldn't do the lines.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

They wouldn't do.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. Is that what you suggest?

[Ed Helms]

They just were screaming about the pandemic.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right, right. And didn't that feel real and magnetic? Didn't you feel seen? Because we don't talk about it enough. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I feel like it comes up a lot. But how was it working with that person?

[Ed Helms]

It was off putting.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was tough to do your.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, it really. It really. It really kind of ground the production to a halt and had ask. Ask them to leave. We recast the part.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yeah, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Are you still looking?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah. No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, that.

[Ed Helms]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

No. All right, well, never mind.

[Ed Helms]

I saw your work today, Scott. It was I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, I did really good on that.

[Ed Helms]

Here's the thing. You definitely did the work, but I did not buy you as an orc.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't even know what it was. But what's. What's going on?

[Bob Duca]

I think I got another a went.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no. What's happening, Bob? What do you have?

[Bob Duca]

I've caught the acting bug.

[Ed Helms]

Oh, no.

[Bob Duca]

May I take your class? Remember how I was the. The. The health inspector that just came to me? I really feel like I've got a knack for this.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, I'm willing to pay for five years of classes for Bob. Right. Just so he doesn't hang around heat. Right.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

It gets stuck in your head. Right. Once you start doing it, you can't quite stop. Right.

[Ed Helms]

It's a little catchy.

[Bob Duca]

Right?

[Ed Helms]

Right.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

That's what I'm saying. Right. You know, sometimes you. You. That was you adopting what we call character. That's something that Bob will learn in one of our classes where you take something that's not quite right. Yeah, right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess I didn't quite understand that. But here, I'm willing to write. You just. Can I just. Maybe I'll just make this out to cash.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Cash?

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that. Is that. Does that work? I'll just leave it blank. The amount. Just fill it out later on your way to the bank.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Okay. Thank you so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right, Right.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Well, we are running out of time, guys. We only have time for one final feature on the show. That is, of course, a little something called plugs.

[Bob Duca]

If I had a plug bag, well,

[Scott Aukerman]

I'd put all kinds of stuff in.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

You know I would, but I don't

[Bob Duca]

have a plug bag, so I guess I'll listen to cbb.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bob Duca]

And if I listen to C, cbb. Well, let me tell you about it. You ready?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Let's go.

[Ed Helms]

When I get the lizard in the

[Scott Aukerman]

cbb, I get the barrier. That's on me. Ah, I can't explain it. I wish I could.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Ah, I gotta stop listening to this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ooh, that was nice. That was. CBB Gives Me Medical Problems by Fatty Maddy Needs to eat. Thank you so much. Fatty Maddy needs to eat. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbbworld.com plugs and you can upload everything over there as well as find the stems for our remixes. Now, Ed, you are a professional musician. You were a banjoist. Yeah. What'd you think of that plug theme?

[Ed Helms]

I dug that a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Ed Helms]

Very nice. I thought it had good licks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell me about your plugs. What do you got here going? What's going on?

[Ed Helms]

I have all natural hair. I. These are not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that true?

[Bob Duca]

Really?

[Ed Helms]

Yep. Because no plugs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You seem to have the Joel McHale kind of thing going on for you.

[Ed Helms]

No, the. The really. The only thing I'm plugging right now is. Is Snafu.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's great.

[Ed Helms]

I do have some. Some movies kind of in the. In the hopper, but Snafu, the definitive

[Scott Aukerman]

guide to history's greatest screw ups.

[Ed Helms]

There you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's your book?

[Bob Duca]

It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wrote about it.

[Ed Helms]

That is my book and my podcast. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

People can buy the book still, right?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, absolutely. And it's a wonderful, charming, delightful, and hilarious and informative book. It will make you a killer at dinner parties. Does anyone go to dinner parties anymore?

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love to be invited to one of your dinner parties. That's so nice of you. Thank you so much. All right, Bob, Duca, what are you plugging here?

[Bob Duca]

Well, I'm gonna get beat up by junior high kids for charity this weekend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which charity is it?

[Bob Duca]

They didn't tell me. They just said. They told me it was for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gave you a time and a place. Okay, great.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

And also, are you inviting us to that? Are you plug plugging it for.

[Bob Duca]

Consider it plugged.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So anyone can come by. You'll take all.

[Bob Duca]

Yes, yes. They need all the money they can get for this good cause. My friend Seth Morris has a podcast on this very network called Collegetown. He also does a monthly show with his improv group called Dinosaur at Largo. It's monthly to check it out on the Internet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, very good. Now, Paulina, what do you want to plug? Obviously, your acting classes.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right. Anything else, though it is by recommendation only, so get yourself a recommendation and then you can come.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. Anything else you want to plug?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Yes. These two girls, they are improvisers who have done the work. They have an improv podcast called Anna and Isabella do Improv, and at least one time an episode, they mention the pandemic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I love this podcast.

[Bob Duca]

And we're talking about the COVID pandemic, right?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

Right.

[Bob Duca]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know whether she was agreeing. Well, that's great. Now what do I want to plug? Hey, we're out there on tour right now. You can come see us live. Comedy Bang Bang Live. Paul F. Tompk, myself, and the Comedy Bang Bang All Stars out there doing a live improvised podcast for you. Check the dates [e-mail] tour. Tickets are still available. This tour is going on through September. So check it out. And while you're over there at CBB World, check out all the shows we have. We have the complete archive of comedy Bang Bang, all ad free. We have every live episode we've ever done. We have other shows like Collegetown was mentioned. We also have CBB Presents, where people from this show have their own shows. We have Scott, as in scene where I watch movies. Sprague, the Whisperer. So much going on over there. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Bob Duca]

Kiss.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, opening the malice parentheses. Kiss Sweet Chat's ass in parentheses by Barnacle Joe. Thank you so much to Barnacle Joe. And speaking of, thank you, Ed, thank you so much for returning Two Timers Club. Are we going to make it three, do you think?

[Ed Helms]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

When do you think that's how? Another 14 years. Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

O. Wait, was it. Did you find the episode?

[Scott Aukerman]

It was 2014. It was 12 years ago.

[Ed Helms]

Wow.

[Bob Duca]

Yeah.

[Ed Helms]

Let's make it quicker than that next time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Let's make it a week. Come on. See you next week.

[Bob Duca]

Okay.

[Ed Helms]

Take it easy.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I'm too thirsty. And Paulina, obviously, thank you so much to you. And Bob, you're going to be taking class from Paulina.

[Bob Duca]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many a week?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

You have to do five classes a week to really make progress and two hours audits.

[Bob Duca]

Well, hey, all I can say is get that security badge ready because I'm going to do the work.

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I like to hear it. Right.

[Bob Duca]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you say you live to hear it right?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I love to hear it. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And do you? I mean, is there anything he can be working on right now before the first class, any, like, exercise that you ask your students to do before they come to class?

[Paulina (Casting Director/Teacher)]

I think you should get chased by a pack of wild dogs to really tap into what makes makes things scary.

[Bob Duca]

Oh, I don't know. I've got to take all this raw meat in my pockets over to the.

[Ed Helms]

Hey, he's a natural.

[Bob Duca]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

He says, boy, I expect to see you on the silver screen this year.

[Bob Duca]

You're lucky if you think you're lucky.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we'll see you next time. Thanks. Bye.

[Ed Helms]

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