Scream Time (Sarah Silverman, Erin Keif, Talia Tabin)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode Summary: "Scream Time" Featuring Sarah Silverman, Erin Keif, and Talia Tabin
Release Date: May 19, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests:

• Sarah Silverman – Stand-up Comedian, Actress, and Writer
• Biff Brisket – College Football Coach and Entrepreneur
• Elsie Lynn – Motivational Speaker

---

Introduction

The episode kicks off with Scott Aukerman humorously addressing a mispronunciation of "Quebec," setting a lighthearted tone. He introduces the show's guests for the day: the esteemed comedian Sarah Silverman, the unconventional college football coach Biff Brisket, and the earnest motivational speaker Elsie Lynn. Scott emphasizes the eclectic nature of the episode, promising a blend of comedy, sports anecdotes, and motivational insights.

---

Sarah Silverman: Revisiting Her Comedy Journey and Personal Triumphs

[01:11 – 26:41]

Scott warmly welcomes Sarah Silverman, celebrating her 13th appearance on the podcast. He highlights her impressive tenure in the comedy world, noting her multiple stand-up specials and her influential role on shows like "Saturday Night Live." Sarah shares updates about her latest stand-up special, "Post Mortem," which debuted recently on Netflix.

Stand-Up Special – "Post Mortem":
Sarah delves into deeply personal subjects, particularly focusing on the passing of her parents. She candidly discusses how these experiences have influenced her comedy, weaving humor with heartfelt narratives.

• Notable Quote:
  • Sarah Silverman [03:57]: "This is what you say after a show or something. But also, it's a physic. It's a thing in doctor speak."

Tour Experiences:
Sarah recounts her rigorous nine-month tour leading up to the special, balancing between performing and managing personal grief. She humorously describes her performance schedule and the evolution of her material over time.

• Notable Quote:
  • Sarah Silverman [09:32]: "I never do old jokes because I don't number them. Like, they just go right out of my head."

Personal Stories and Career Highlights:
Sarah shares anecdotes about her father's humorous personality and his influence on her work. She mentions her role in the musical "The Bedwetter," which blends her comedic talents with theatrical storytelling.

• Notable Quote:
  • Sarah Silverman [14:35]: "I just kept talking, but I had, like, 35 minutes and, like, probably 28 of it was strong."

Comedy Philosophy and Creative Process:
Though Scott probes into her joke-writing process, Sarah admits she's "not sure" how she crafts her humor, emphasizing spontaneity and personal experience over formulaic methods.

• Notable Quote:
  • Sarah Silverman [26:02]: "I have no fucking clue."

Engagement with Pop Culture:
Sarah reminisces about her time on "Star Trek Voyager" and other pop culture references, blending her past roles with current comedic narratives. This segment highlights her versatility and ability to intertwine personal life with professional endeavors.

• Notable Quote:
  • Sarah Silverman [50:37]: "I can't help you then."

---

Biff Brisket: From College Football to Bachelorette Party Extravaganzas

[33:26 – 67:00]

Scott introduces Biff Brisket, a flamboyant and unconventional college football coach recently let go from the University of Alabama. Biff brings a unique blend of sports intensity and humorous antics to the table, immediately becoming a source of comedic relief.

Coaching Philosophy and Pranks:
Biff explains his intense coaching methods, which include pranks like toilet papering players' houses and personally tackling them on the field to motivate better performance.

• Notable Quote:
  • Biff Brisket [34:36]: "I was sort of toilet papering my players' houses. I was running out into the field. I was tackling them myself. Just too much."

Transition to Entrepreneurship:
After being dismissed from his coaching role, Biff pivots to a new venture: organizing and managing bachelorette parties. His approach mirrors his coaching style, emphasizing high energy, thematic decorations, and playful chaos.

• Notable Quote:
  • Biff Brisket [38:00]: "I am running bachelorette parties. I'm planning them, sort of. I get a headset and I sort of run the whole weekend."

Business Strategies:
Biff humorously details his business model, which includes high-interest credit card schemes targeting brides-to-be, alongside extravagant bachelorette party themes like "Hamilton Strippers" or "Funeral Celebrations."

• Notable Quote:
  • Biff Brisket [42:05]: "I'm a really good guy. You can tell by my everything."

Comedic Interactions:
Throughout the segment, Biff engages in playful banter with Sarah and Scott, often deflecting seriousness with absurd humor. His antics, like mimicking pouring Gatorade at bachelorette parties, add a layer of slapstick comedy.

• Notable Quote:
  • Biff Brisket [43:19]: "Who just throw slips into the punctuated locker?"

Sales Pitches and Humor Integration:
Biff seamlessly integrates comedic sales pitches for his services, blurring the lines between genuine entrepreneurship and performance art. He playfully markets his credit card with an outrageous interest rate, poking fun at predatory lending practices.

• Notable Quote:
  • Biff Brisket [40:16]: "It's an 80% interest rate. Scott, that's too high."

---

Elsie Lynn: Embracing Imperfection in Motherhood

[53:22 – 63:00]

Elsie Lynn enters the conversation as a motivational speaker focused on advocating for "shitty moms," encouraging parents to embrace their imperfections and alleviate the societal pressures of motherhood.

Motivational Philosophy:
Elsie emphasizes the importance of self-compassion for mothers, advocating that it's okay not to be perfect. Her approach is both humorous and empathetic, addressing common struggles in parenting with a lighthearted twist.

• Notable Quote:
  • Elsie Lynn [54:17]: "I'm garbage. I'm trash."

Personal Struggles and Parenting Challenges:
Elsie shares candid stories about her own experiences as a mother, including the overwhelming task of managing her child's preferences and the balancing act of being a supportive parent while dealing with personal exhaustion.

• Notable Quote:
  • Elsie Lynn [54:50]: "My child's three, and she very soon, I'm sure, will be a meth head with a mother like me."

Comedic Relief and Relatability:
Despite the serious undertones, Elsie injects humor into her narratives, making her message more relatable and engaging. She discusses the everyday chaos of parenting, like dealing with picky eaters or the endless cycle of event planning.

• Notable Quote:
  • Elsie Lynn [56:09]: "It's the little things that just chip away at their psych."

Interaction with Guests:
Elsie engages in playful exchanges with Sarah and Biff, often using self-deprecating humor to underscore her points about motherhood and personal inadequacies.

• Notable Quote:
  • Elsie Lynn [57:28]: "I'm messed up left and right."

Advice and Empowerment:
Elsie concludes her segment by reinforcing her core message: it's essential to normalize imperfection and give oneself grace amidst the challenges of parenting.

• Notable Quote:
  • Elsie Lynn [58:37]: "What she says, go, run."

---

Conclusion and Plugs

As the episode wraps up, Scott Aukerman transitions into promotional segments, integrating humor into the closing remarks. The guests participate in playful banter, further highlighting the show's comedic essence.

Final Thoughts and Promotions:

• Sarah Silverman promotes her Netflix special, encouraging listeners to watch "Post Mortem."

  • Sarah Silverman [65:58]: "It's a great name. The Human Neighbor."

• Biff Brisket plugs his own podcast, "Riddle Riddle," and advertises his bachelorette party services, maintaining the episode's humorous tone.

  • Biff Brisket [66:56]: "Hey, Riddle Riddle, anywhere you find podcasts."

• Elsie Lynn humorously mentions stepping away from the show, alluding to her need for personal time amidst the chaotic conversation.

  • Elsie Lynn [67:21]: "I'm gonna go off the grid for a little bit."

Hosted and Wrapped by Scott Aukerman:
Scott effectively ties together the diverse segments, ensuring a cohesive and entertaining conclusion. His interactions reflect his adeptness at balancing comedic timing with genuine discussion, leaving listeners both amused and intrigued by the episode's content.

• Notable Quote:
  • Scott Aukerman [68:50]: "You have to make your dreams. You've got to, you've got to, you've got to make your dreams."

---

Key Takeaways and Highlights

1. Personal Growth Through Comedy:
   Sarah Silverman's discussions highlight the therapeutic nature of comedy, using humor to navigate personal tragedies and life's challenges. Her new special, "Post Mortem," embodies this blend of humor and heartfelt storytelling.

2. Unconventional Approaches to Motivation and Entertainment:
   Biff Brisket's transition from college football to bachelorette party planning showcases a unique fusion of sportsmanship and event management, infused with comedic elements that challenge traditional norms.

3. Embracing Imperfection:
   Elsie Lynn's motivational segment underscores the importance of self-compassion in parenting, promoting a culture where imperfections are not only accepted but celebrated.

4. Seamless Integration of Comedy and Conversation:
   The episode masterfully intertwines humor with meaningful discussions, ensuring that listeners are both entertained and engaged with substantive content.

5. Engagement with Pop Culture and Personal Anecdotes:
   Through references to "Star Trek," personal life stories, and interactions with other comedians, the episode fosters a sense of community and shared experiences among listeners.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Sarah Silverman:

  • "[03:57]: "This is what you say after a show or something. But also, it's a physic. It's a thing in doctor speak."

• Biff Brisket:

  • "[34:36]: "I was sort of toilet papering my players' houses. I was running out into the field. I was tackling them myself. Just too much."

• Elsie Lynn:

  • "[54:17]: "I'm garbage. I'm trash."

• Sarah Silverman:

  • "[26:02]: "I have no fucking clue."

• Biff Brisket:

  • "[40:16]: "It's an 80% interest rate. Scott, that's too high."

• Elsie Lynn:

  • "[56:09]: "It's the little things that just chip away at their psych."

• Sarah Silverman:

  • "[65:58]: "It's a great name. The Human Neighbor."

• Scott Aukerman:

  • "[68:50]: "You have to make your dreams. You've got to, you've got to, you've got to make your dreams."*

---

Final Thoughts

"Scream Time" serves as a quintessential episode of "Comedy Bang Bang," blending humor with heartfelt conversation and unconventional guest appearances. Sarah Silverman's return provides depth and introspection, while Biff Brisket and Elsie Lynn introduce unique perspectives that challenge and entertain. Scott Aukerman adeptly navigates the conversation, ensuring a balanced and engaging experience for both guests and listeners.

Listeners new to the podcast will find this episode a testament to its enduring appeal—offering laughter, relatable struggles, and unconventional wisdom wrapped in the signature comedic flair that "Comedy Bang Bang" is renowned for.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Sarah Silverman]

In your living room. Oh, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love this song.

[Sarah Silverman]

And then before you know it, you're.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flying to see the band live at Credit One Bank.

[Biff Brisket]

We're here for what's ahead.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's why you can get points on eligible travel purchases, including flights.

[Scott Aukerman]

Credit One bank for what's ahead terms apply.

[Sarah Silverman]

Visit credit1banktravel.com for more details.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see London. I see France. Wait, let me double check. It's only Quebec. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Oh boy. I really had. It was a game time decision. Do I say Quebec or Quebec? And I chose Quebec and I think I meant to say Quebec and then when I got there, my lips just did what they naturally did which is to say Quebec. So hopefully if you are Quebecois you do not take any offense. But welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. We hope you do not take any offense. That's another good tagline for us. We hope you do not take any offense. That's pretty good. We just started one Comedy Bang Bang. We care, we care. And we do care about you. And we care about you enjoying today's show. Coming up on the show we have a college football coach. We also have a motivational speaker and we have an actress slash stand up comedian. Any other jobs and anything else on your taxes that you have to claim?

[Sarah Silverman]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's welcome her. I meant to look up how many times you've been on the show. I'm gonna do that while I do your introduction. She is an old friend of the show. She is a stand up of note ex Saturday Night Live cast member. That's right. It just celebrated the big 5, 0. And that's a number. And I'm trying to count while I say that number. And it didn't work out. I'm going to count silent or I'm going to. I'm going to mouth the words. Here we go. She is making her 13th appearance on this podcast if you can believe it. 13th appearance. Her last appearance was two years ago and then it was six. In between that one and the one before.

[Sarah Silverman]

Was there strife?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think there's any strife between us, at least on my end. Please welcome Back to the. Oh, by the way, her new standup special is out tonight. It's called Post Mortem. Please welcome back Sarah Silverman. Hello.

[Biff Brisket]

Hello.

[Sarah Silverman]

I've had to cough. Hold on, let me cough.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not do it while I was.

[Sarah Silverman]

Talking, as I was trying to be polite. This is my voice. This is my voice.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is my voice.

[Sarah Silverman]

This is the lowest. My voice goes pretty low. I think I can go lower.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's try.

[Sarah Silverman]

This is the lowest my voice goes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you. Are you an alto? Have you ever tested your range?

[Sarah Silverman]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not? I don't know. You could be a surprise. What's the highest? You can go highest? My high voice goal. You could be. You actually could be a mezzo soprano or something.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Wouldn't that be. What if you went into opera in your later years?

[Sarah Silverman]

I think that's a great idea. If I just. If I start training now.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can get good at anything. In my opinion, in three months, anyone or any. Anyone can get good at anything. You know, when you see people doing things, it's always just. They've. They've trained more than you, you know, so just take three months and do it. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's how I feel about magicians. And I know I'm hard on magicians.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know I didn't want to say, but I just. Five minutes into the episode, they're coming up finally.

[Sarah Silverman]

But. And I know this is obnoxious because you can say this about anything, but I always am just, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great.

[Sarah Silverman]

You just. You learned a trick that I didn't learn.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't know why I'm so, like, competitive or, like, angry about it. I don't know why that is about me. I mean, it's pretty. Comedy's pretty much the same thing, but just magicians. I just. I don't know, it's like they do this thing and they have this air about them, like, they are magic.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. But comedy, I think, is a. It's a skill that of course, not anyone can acquire. Of course.

[Sarah Silverman]

I mean, magic, too. And there are magicians. I mean, like, you're already backing off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Sarah Silverman]

I just. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't want to stick to your guns about this.

[Sarah Silverman]

Whereas, like, Tall John, and probably you, I'm guessing, like, love the magic castle. I just like someone who has been.

[Scott Aukerman]

There twice in my life. I don't know whether I love it.

[Sarah Silverman]

As much as Tall John loves it.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, so you're saying you want to get a magic castle group together and Go. Is that what you're saying?

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now that you're. You're.

[Sarah Silverman]

They serve dinner there. Like, I don't know what's wrong with dinner. Are magicians making it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Bougie piece of shit.

[Sarah Silverman]

Although I do, like, magic is just footwork now.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you mean? I mean, like, primarily, it's the hands are a lot of magic.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's true, but it's just really like about just going the distance that people would assume you wouldn't do. Like, one time I was watching Columbo and there was a magic trick on it. Did I ever tell you this? Oh, my God, I was so obsessed about it. I watched it by myself. And so then I was able to do it when Rory got home. That's my live in lover. And so he came home and I go, pick a number between 1 and 5. And he goes, 3. And I go, look under the blender. And then he looks under the blender and there's a note that says, I knew you were gonna pick number three. And he's like, no way. Oh, and I'm dying. Laughing. He's laughing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You just put notes, like five different notes in five different places.

[Biff Brisket]

Right.

[Sarah Silverman]

He goes, how do you. Does everyone pick three? Or how is it work? I go, no. He goes, well, what if I picked one? I go, look under the candle, you know? It's so dumb. It's so dumb.

[Scott Aukerman]

This was on Columbo. How did this factor into Columbo solving a murder?

[Sarah Silverman]

There was a magician on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, and did he kill people?

[Sarah Silverman]

I think so. I want to say it was Hal Linden.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hal Lindon, of course.

[Sarah Silverman]

And maybe misremembering Barney Miller himself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And he, he was a magician who, in the course of doing a trick, killed his assistant. I'm presuming.

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't really remember, but you remember.

[Scott Aukerman]

That, that particular cartoon.

[Sarah Silverman]

I was so excited when I saw it because it's so fucking stupid.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it had him baffled.

[Sarah Silverman]

He was blown away. Blown away.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, fun. Well, welcome back to the show. Lucky 13th appearance here and one on the television show as well.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. We had a great episode there. Had a lot of fun that day.

[Sarah Silverman]

Love that show.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you have in between the last time you were here two years ago and now you have honed your craft. The craft we're talking about stand up comedy. You went out on the road, the real magic. That's right. And you performed these tricks of the trade that we call jokes, setups, punchlines, and. And you, you. You toured how long Was the tour before you filmed the special?

[Sarah Silverman]

It was on and off, but the first dates I did were in June of. And of 2024.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Sarah Silverman]

And then the last show I did was April 28th.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, so that worked a nine month.

[Sarah Silverman]

Long tour, but it wasn't straight. But there were like three months straight and then like another.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. And did you have pretty much the same material the entire nine months, or did you sort of get rid of a bunch that you were doing in the first part of it and come up with new stuff? Or what was the process for you?

[Sarah Silverman]

It was a mix. I mean, when I started, I had like 35 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And were people disappointed when they came to see you and it was 35 minutes later. You're like, good night.

[Sarah Silverman]

No, I. I filled the time, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was with stammering.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, I. I never do old jokes because I don't number them. Like, they just go right out of my head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Special. Tell you what, next time you're in this position, do your 35 minutes and then wheel out a big AV cart with a TV on it. And then go, here, let's watch my special together. And then I'll do some of these.

[Sarah Silverman]

Jokes that you're gonna say we're gonna watch. What was that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Blood on the Highway.

[Sarah Silverman]

Would have been great if I had it. Access to the thing I was gonna say.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm thinking Blood on the highway is the driver's head tomorrow.

[Sarah Silverman]

Or what was that one where we had to, like, everyone was like, you know, watch it with your kids and then have. You have to watch, you know, it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was like, I remember Day After Tomorrow was a big thing.

[Sarah Silverman]

It was the nuclear war. Nuclear war, yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jason Robards. And we. We talked about it in my church, where it was like, everyone needs to watch this. And everyone, you know, and it, like, especially the religious right at the time. Like, what is their take on it? Like, we're trying to get there. We're trying to, like, yeah, we want everyone to. We want this to happen so that we can all go to heaven. I don't know, but.

[Sarah Silverman]

Well, that's why, like, the religious right is always super pro. Israel goes. It's not like they like Jews. They just need all the Jews to be there for the end times so they can go to heaven.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, very, very topical. Sorry. Yeah.

[Sarah Silverman]

Little.

[Scott Aukerman]

But in any case, you. You started with 35 minutes and then you patted it out with musings, I would imagine.

[Sarah Silverman]

I mean, yeah, I don't know. I just, you know, I just kept talking, but I had, like, 35 minutes and, like, probably 28 of it was strong. And then I, you know, just. So I did the first gigs I did, it was like at the punchline for a week, or in that Denver comedy, works for a week just for.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, standards are lower, you know.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. And the audience is so supportive, and it's like, work. It's like, what I'm letting them know. Like, I'm just figuring this out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sarah Silverman]

And then I.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you probably made the ticket prices half price, Right.

[Sarah Silverman]

They were much cheaper than if at a theater. Of course, club tickets. I mean, people pay top dollar to watch some comics work shit out. Not me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not you. Not you.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Sarah Silverman]

I'm a working man's comedian.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. You're the comedian of labor.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So then nine months later, suddenly you have.

[Sarah Silverman]

Speaking of labor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Really? What do you think of that movie Nine Months, starring Hugh Grant, lover of blowjobs?

[Sarah Silverman]

He came to my last show.

[Scott Aukerman]

He did what? Yeah, tell me about it.

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't know. I just heard he was there.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Sarah Silverman]

Well, he couldn't. He couldn't. He didn't get to come backstage because I lock up all the phones and then he couldn't, like, text. Jimmy Carr went on before me and you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were. Were you in the UK at this point or.

[Sarah Silverman]

Okay, yeah, it was my last show.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so. So his phone is in a yonder pouch or something like that. So he can't text Jimmy Carr to say, I want, I want.

[Sarah Silverman]

I love him.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love him.

[Sarah Silverman]

I love him.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he. As much as he loves blowjobs, I love him.

[Sarah Silverman]

Wait, what do you. Let me ask you something. Do you hate blowjobs?

[Scott Aukerman]

I say this. He's. He's famous for it. We all love blow jobs.

[Sarah Silverman]

But he got a handy from somebody on Hollywood Boulevard. Maybe it was a blow job.

[Scott Aukerman]

They have to amend it and say he's a famous lover of hand jobs.

[Sarah Silverman]

I mean, I would say he probably loves handjobs and blow jobs as much.

[Scott Aukerman]

As any other fella, but he's just notorious for it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. I mean, it's funny, I remember her name. Divine Brown.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I don't remember this.

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't know why.

[Scott Aukerman]

I remember was a very important day.

[Sarah Silverman]

In history for Jay Leno.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yes. He really was made the most of that. Now the special is called Post Mortem.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And there is a particular reason for that, is there not, Sarah? Tell us why you titled it thusly.

[Sarah Silverman]

Because, well, postmortem is what you say after Like a show or something. But also it's a. It's a physic. It's a thing in doctor speak. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thing and doctor speak.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah.

[Sarah Silverman]

Well, I watch the pit, so I know a lot of the jargon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, of course.

[Biff Brisket]

And.

[Sarah Silverman]

But yeah, a year ago last. It was just their yard site. Yurt site.

[Scott Aukerman]

They.

[Sarah Silverman]

My. My dad and my stepmother died two years ago. Like yesterday or. Two years ago yesterday, actually, hate to say it. Cool Ops birthday was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did they pass away? Both. Both on the same day.

[Sarah Silverman]

Nine days apart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nine days apart and one. One was on Cool Ops birthday.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. My dad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think your dad is eating Cool Op right now?

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

His soul passed into her.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh my God. Maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wouldn't that be great?

[Sarah Silverman]

Is she upstairs?

[Scott Aukerman]

She is upstairs.

[Sarah Silverman]

Daddy?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, honey? I was trying to do a New England accent. It didn't really work out.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh God, he had the thickest Boston accent. New England accent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your dad was very funny. He figured into your acts quite a bit.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

He also is in your musical. He's a character in your musical the Bedwetter, which I saw off Broadway. I did.

[Sarah Silverman]

It's really gotten good. We just did a run in dc. Oh really?

[Scott Aukerman]

It was great when I saw it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Now it's one act.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Sarah Silverman]

New song. Cut a couple songs, added a song. But it was crazy because I was on tour non stop talking about my parents death. And then I paused for a month to go work on be at previews, the show about. Of the Bedwetter, which is about their life, you know, so they're young and it was an interesting juxtaposition, you know, hopefully it'll be a Broadway in the spring and it would be a cool, I would think to watch the special and watch the play kind of as a companion piece.

[Scott Aukerman]

That'd be amazing. So there's plans for the spring when young men's flights turn to fancy.

[Sarah Silverman]

What's that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. But. So it is spring of 2025 or no, 2026. What year is this?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic. And so you. You're talking about this experience in. In the special? Quite a bit.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. It's. It's really a lot about their. Their deaths.

[Scott Aukerman]

And were you there for it?

[Sarah Silverman]

I was, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never asked you this stuff personally because I just figured I'd catch it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Save it for the air. Yeah. Save it for the air. Yeah. They. They. Well, Janice got cancer. It was terrible. And she loved life so much and. And my dad was just a mess. I will tell you that this isn't a special. But I. An example is we have them. We would have them record their doctor's appointments and then put it on our WhatsApp chain, our family WhatsApp chain, so we could all listen to it and make sure everything was being taken care of. And on the day that Janice got her stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis, the doctor says, I'm so sorry. Stage four. My dad's reaction, you literally hear him go, I'm a widow.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm alone.

[Sarah Silverman]

She's so fucking deeply crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know I'm a widow.

[Sarah Silverman]

I mean, I had a widower. I have to call him. I know, exactly. Well, I didn't want to correct him that it was widower. It didn't seem like the time, but it did, like, stick in my craw, because I'm my mother's daughter, who was very big on grammar. And I had to tell him, like, you cannot talk this way in front of your alive wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know?

[Sarah Silverman]

But he just was like. The thought of living life without her, and he pretty much died of a broken heart. Like, he. He wanted to go. It was a great. His was a death. He just didn't want it to hurt. And it didn't because oddly, the doctor said he was going to die of kidney failure, which happened to be a painless death. And when I told him, first of all, I shouldn't have taken a beat, but I was like, dad, great news. He's like, whoa. But once he knew it wasn't going to hurt, he was thrilled. He just wanted to be with his Janice. And it was a great last few days of just kind of laughing, telling stories. We watched the series Beef.

[Scott Aukerman]

I look, if I was about to go, that's where I would spend 12 hours of my time, probably. Yeah. And this is close on the heels of your mother's death as well, which I always. A few years.

[Sarah Silverman]

It's almost. It's like nine years ago.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, was it nine? Oh, really?

[Sarah Silverman]

It went so fast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I think Covid also skewed everyone's senses of time. But I do remember that story you told me about how your doctor gave everyone the news that she was gonna go, like, in the next 24 hours or something. So the entire family flew to be with her. And then she was like, fine and going, what are you guys all doing here?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, as a matter of fact, I was dating Michael Sheen at the time, and I was supposed to go to Wales with him. And I'm always, like, I don't know, stressed about travel with lovers. I don't Know why? I just.

[Scott Aukerman]

The expectation of so much lovemaking you're going to have to perform.

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't know. But, but I had to pull out of it last minute because my mom, of course, which is understandable. And then I'm such an asshole. When she didn't die, I made her record an apology video to him, which is horrible. But funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's, it's. I mean, it's a major milestone in, in our lives that we all will go through.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Unless God forbid we die first, which we don't want to do.

[Sarah Silverman]

Poo. Poo. Poo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So it, it was an interesting experience, I'm sure. A very heart wrenching experience.

[Sarah Silverman]

Heart wrenching, but a lot of funny things.

[Scott Aukerman]

And, and your dad is such a character too.

[Biff Brisket]

Oh my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just you telling any story about him is always very funny.

[Biff Brisket]

He.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, he was so funny.

[Scott Aukerman]

So how, how many minutes did the special actually get up to? Was it still 35?

[Sarah Silverman]

I know. Then it was like over an hour. And then I like chipped it down to. It's like probably exactly an hour. But if you watch it, watch the credits with the sound on because you see pictures of all the stuff I talked about and some video and some audio like his, his, his store, Crazy Sophie's Factory Outlet. Like his horrible radio ads.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. What were his ads that he used to do? Was he in character? I can't remember.

[Sarah Silverman]

Hey, I'm Crazy Donnie, Crazy Sophie's husband. Sophie was a made up name because he sold ladies clothing. You know, when you see the, when I see the prices at the mall, I just want to vomit. Oh, yum. Makes you want to shop. Then he lists like a billion off brand, you know, Jean brands that would sell them like Unicorn Jabot. Like it was like, it's so fast, it doesn't sound like words. Like no diction. And then he would end by going, so if you care enough. So if you're care enough to buy the very best, but you're too cheap, come to Crazy Sophie's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ah, so funny. And so knowingly. He wanted women to come into the store, so he said Crazy Sophie's even though.

[Sarah Silverman]

He, he called it Sophie's because, well, we're from New Hampshire. You know, people always say, when I say I'm from New Hampshire, they go, there are Jews from New Hampshire. And then I have to explain, like, you know, even New Hampshire deserves retail. And so he makes up the name Sophie because it's kind of Jewishy and we're Jewish. Whatever. My nana, his mother you know, they're from Boston and, like, her best friend Sophie is from Boston. And she accused him of calling her Sophie crazy. And then my dad said, mom, if I named it after Sophie Moskowitz, I'd call it ugly. Sophie's Background. I thought that was so funny. Years ago, I told it on a talk show, and I did not realize Sophie Muskowitz was still with us. Oh, no, it was not good. But she's. I made sure she's. She's absolutely dead right now, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, good. Well, postmortem, It's a Netflix special.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's exciting.

[Sarah Silverman]

To be big time, baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Netflix umbrella once again, home of Too Hot to Handle.

[Sarah Silverman]

What's too hot to handle?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. Isn't that on Netflix?

[Sarah Silverman]

They really cover everything from too hot.

[Scott Aukerman]

To handle to jokes about Sarah's dead parents.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's actually in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

But postmortem, it comes out tonight, probably at midnight Eastern. And people can stay up late or, you know, they can set the alarm for tomorrow morning and just watch it first thing when they wake up, get a cup of coffee and sometimes.

[Sarah Silverman]

Because it comes out tomorrow. But it will come out tonight, right? Sometimes it's like 6 or 9 or something. I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe it's 9pm here on the West Coast.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh, I see. Midnight. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Midnight Eastern. And are you giving any special prizes to anyone who proves they watch it or anything like that?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, if you can prove that you watched it, I'm going to give them a check for a million dollars.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. So that's all you just have to prove you watched it?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how do they do that? Like, take a picture of the credits or.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, like, just take a picture of yourself in front of, like, a tv, I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

And a million dollars. Wow.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. Give them a million dollars.

[Scott Aukerman]

But. But it. I think I heard something in the last thing that you said, but probably.

[Sarah Silverman]

Not even a million doll hairs would be very hard.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would be so expensive. First of all, I mean, dolls with what they're costing, with these tariffs these.

[Sarah Silverman]

Days, you only need a couple dolls.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many hairs are on each doll would you say if you had to guess?

[Sarah Silverman]

Like, oh, boy. A thousand?

[Scott Aukerman]

I doubt even a thousand. I bet. I bet there's probably on each doll, I'd say there's probably 50 hairs on each doll. So you would have to do a. No, there's more. You think a hundred? I don't know. It's depending on the doll, obviously. I'm sure I can find a doll that has 50 hairs on it to prove everyone wrong?

[Sarah Silverman]

Maybe, like, would Siri know how many hairs are on, like, a Barbie's head?

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's ask.

[Sarah Silverman]

Hey, Siri.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Siri. How many hairs are on a Barbie's head? End transmission. I found this on the web for.

[Biff Brisket]

How many hairs are on a Barbie's head?

[Sarah Silverman]

Check it out. I have to read it now?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Just tell me, you fucking bitch. How much are a billion doll hairs worth? Is a Reddit topic. So I don't know. I'll catch up with that later and perhaps in the break, but postmortem is out tonight, and this is exciting. Do you expect you're gonna be like Prince, where you're gonna put out three specials this year, or is this the last one for a few years?

[Sarah Silverman]

No, this is the last one for. I mean, the last special I did was the fourth special I've ever done.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this is five.

[Sarah Silverman]

This is the fifth. It came fast just because of the circumstances, you know, because my last special came out as they were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Are you hoping other people die so that you have more material?

[Sarah Silverman]

I mean, I'm hoping, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

People, you know, are just like, maybe you could read the obituaries every day and go like, oh, that sounds funny.

[Sarah Silverman]

Hey, I kind of knew him. He had a daughter that I think I once went to. Yeah. So when I started over with standup, I didn't have any material. I just was started with, like, the eulogy I gave at my dad's funeral because it was pretty funny. I mean, not just because he's so funny and I just turned out faster.

[Scott Aukerman]

And so are you back on the train, though, now? Are you like, yes, I now know how to do this. Let me keep going on it.

[Sarah Silverman]

I know if somebody asked me how to write a joke, how do you have a way. Like, if someone said, hey, how do you write a joke? If people ask me, I have no fucking clue.

[Scott Aukerman]

Basically just, you know, steal something funny that someone else said and just write it down.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh, that's so. That's so smart.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a pretty good system.

[Sarah Silverman]

I should start watching some comedy specials and just jot. Take notes, jot things down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. No, I mean, yeah, it's a mystery, but, I mean, you're a professional at it. You're one of the funniest standup comics of certainly my generation, if not any generation.

[Sarah Silverman]

The next generation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. One of the best standup comedians to ever do it, living or dead. And your special post mortem is out tonight. I'm looking forward to watching it. I'm going to set my 4am alarm and just dig into it tomorrow morning.

[Sarah Silverman]

Boom.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm excited. Postmortem on Netflix tonight. We need to take a break if that's okay, but can you stick around? We have a college football coach as well as a motivational speaker. This is an exciting show.

[Sarah Silverman]

Can't wait. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, man. All right, so we're going to be right back. We're going to have more Sarah Silverman. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. Netcredit is here to say yes to a personal loan or line of credit.

[Sarah Silverman]

When other lenders say no, apply in minutes and get a decision as soon as the same day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Loans offered by NetCredit lending partner banks and serviced by NetCredit. Applications subject to review and approval. Learn more at netcredit.com partners NetCredit credit to the People if your idea of the perfect getaway is exploring uncharted territory, then the Defender is the ride for you. It's more than a vehicle. It's an icon reimagined through modern design, fit for a new generation of trailblazers like you. Powerful performance meets power of choice. The Defender comes in three distinct models, all engineered to meet challenges head on so you can explore with confidence. Defender 90 was made for urban exploration. Defender 110 boasts an exterior designed for optimum durability. Defender 130 has expanded cargo capacity and room for eight. And adventure seekers won't want to miss Destination. Defender, a weekend festival in Port Jervis, New York from May 16th through 18th. This epic road show features inspiring talks, off road driving courses, chef tastings and live music. To learn more, please visit destinationdefenderusa.com Mom. Mom. You never know what's ahead. Honey, please stop.

[Sarah Silverman]

I'm trying to drive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Today.

[Sarah Silverman]

You're taking your kid for a drive, then before you know it, they're taking you for one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Honey, stop. Mom, I got it.

[Sarah Silverman]

At Credit One bank, we're here for what's ahead. That's why you can get cash back rewards on everyday purchases like gas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Credit One bank for what's ahead terms apply.

[Sarah Silverman]

Visit creditonebank.com for more details.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Sarah Silverman is here. Post mortem. Her fifth special ever. She's been doing stand up comedy now for over three. Three decades. You're in your fourth decade, is that right?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yes, it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello. Come closer, child.

[Sarah Silverman]

I started when I was very young.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me tell you about the 1980 stand up comedy scene. Did you start in the 80s or in the early 80s.

[Sarah Silverman]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. You were on SNL in 90 fucking 5, weren't you?

[Sarah Silverman]

93. 93. 94 season.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were. I mean, you were.

[Sarah Silverman]

Just to give you an idea of how good I look. Well, I was, I was 22.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And you'd been doing stand up for.

[Sarah Silverman]

Since I was like 17, so.

[Scott Aukerman]

The 80s.

[Sarah Silverman]

But I was in high school.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't specify that you were in high school. Okay, so you were high school 80s, not the real 1980s.

[Sarah Silverman]

Then again, I was like made money. I was 19. And so that was still 1990, but still.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you've been doing it for a long time. This is your fifth special ever over. That's like one every six years. That's, that's. I mean, that's a reasonable amount. These comedians who put out one every year, I don't trust them, you know.

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't trust the quality. Weird, prolific comedians that are always thinking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, them who are out there every single night. It's very, you know, five clubs every night, working on it.

[Sarah Silverman]

I also have become obsessed with Call of Duty and it's really cut into my work.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you like about Call of Duty?

[Sarah Silverman]

I love the haptics of killing. I love the feeling under my fingers. I don't know what's happening to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have a special controller that you've bought or are you. I. I have no idea what the controllers are. As typical.

[Sarah Silverman]

Just a typical, typical.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is it? PS.

[Sarah Silverman]

PS5.

[Scott Aukerman]

PS5. So you've been able to afford the five?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Congratulations. Is there a PS6 or.

[Sarah Silverman]

No, no, sweetheart, if there was a PS6, I would have it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I'm so sorry.

[Sarah Silverman]

Although my iPhone is like a 12.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What?

[Sarah Silverman]

I think they're on like 14 or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I tried to get a case at the iPhone store recently and they, they looked at me like I was pathetic. They're like, we don't sell them for those anymore.

[Sarah Silverman]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

But it looks fine. Right? Where would it be about? About my phone? Yeah, yeah. Oh, it's a nice. That's better than yours.

[Sarah Silverman]

It is. What is that circle? Is that like a stand?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's mag safe. The circle on the back, what does that mean? If you don't know, I don't have the time to tell you, honey, just go home and look it up. In between kills on Call of Duty. Do you wish you were back there right now? Are you imagining killing me right now?

[Sarah Silverman]

I'm always thinking about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why do you kill people in Call of Duty? Is There any kind of reason?

[Sarah Silverman]

It's war, man. It's war.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you just kill anyone? Like what if you kill your friend?

[Sarah Silverman]

You can't kill your friend. There is a setting where you can kill your friends. But I would have so much friendly fire because I just. As soon as I see a person, I shoot, you know, like, I'm panicked.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're really good at it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, I'm terrible. I'm terrible. I really thought I was excellent at it because I. I'm passionate about it and it's all I want to do with my free time. I like, don't see friends. I don't. And I turned on the thing so I could hear others. The others.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Sarah Silverman]

And it was just 14 year olds going, fucking kill yourself, dude. And I'm not a team player. I guess it's more of a team thing. But I just like to kill. I can't really do like the team part of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. It's more of a singular thing to kill a man.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. When you just see the life just being come out of their eyes, it's like it.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a very personal thing.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. It feels almost sexual to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Great. Sarah Silverman is here. Postmortem is the special on Netflix tonight? We need to get to our next guest.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yes. Can't wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

He is or she is a college football coach. This is very.

[Biff Brisket]

He is a college football coach.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, do I have the right name there? Did I, Did I?

[Biff Brisket]

Oh, I said Biff Brisket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Biff.

[Biff Brisket]

But that's not a real name, so I understand your confusion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. What do you mean it's not a real name?

[Biff Brisket]

I mean, my d. Dad made a noise when I was born. He went. And then they put that on the version.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. And they assumed he was naming you. Oh, wow. So. So Biff Brisket is your name. Please welcome Biff Brisket. Welcome to the show.

[Biff Brisket]

Thank you for having me. Scott Aukerman.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's my pleasure to have you. This is Sarah Silverman. I don't know if you're a fan of stand up comedy since 1989.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. How do you do? Huge fan. Hello.

[Sarah Silverman]

Thank you so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

And what. Where. Where do you coach? What team do you coach?

[Biff Brisket]

University of Alabama. I recently was let go though. I don't know if you've seen the news.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I've seen the news, but there's so much news that maybe I didn't get to the sports page. Do you know anything about this? Do you follow college sports, Sarah, or.

[Sarah Silverman]

No. Oddly, I do own the Domain brisket gate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Biff Brisket]

I'll give you $7 for it. You got it, Silverman. Sold.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did you get fired if you don't heard about.

[Biff Brisket]

I guess every day we wake up and it's like a fire hose of news to the face. So I guess.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm dealing with the Bill Belichick interview at this point, so I haven't had a lot of.

[Biff Brisket]

We all have young girlfriends. He's just the only one getting attention for it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Whatever.

[Biff Brisket]

Bill Belichick. Fuck you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Biff Brisket]

Sorry.

[Scott Aukerman]

So why were you let go?

[Biff Brisket]

I was too intense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, that can happen with sports. Yeah. What were some of your techniques?

[Biff Brisket]

I was sort of toilet papering my players houses. I was running out into the field. I was tackling them myself. Just too much. They called it too much.

[Scott Aukerman]

The. The prank. Toilet papering, like.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, egging. Toilet papering. Ding dong ditch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ding dong ditching.

[Biff Brisket]

The classic stuff, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you leaving, like, flaming piles of.

[Biff Brisket]

And okay, so you have heard about me on the news.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, that's just a classic prank. I. Why were you doing this to your. To your.

[Biff Brisket]

Because they weren't playing so good, Scott. And this is all stuff that we used to do before, but now it's a new world, and I can't get away with being the same coach that I used to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, yeah, I mean, I don't think any coach should be tackling the players on the field.

[Biff Brisket]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, although I guess if you're on the sidelines and you can run out and tackle one of your players, like, then they should be faster.

[Biff Brisket]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

The other players are all 58.

[Biff Brisket]

If I. If I can catch you, I can keep you. I can take you down.

[Scott Aukerman]

There should be a rule that if anyone in the stands can get on the field and tackle Anyone.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, that's what I've been saying. That's why all of our sweatshirts are cut off, is because if we can for tackling our players.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, Sarah and I are. Are in a football pool every year, and you did. You did very well.

[Sarah Silverman]

Did I?

[Scott Aukerman]

This year? Didn't you? This year? And I won one week. And. And so I made my money back, and that's. That's my only goal every single year, is make my money back. But I thought that you were in the top 10 or something like that this year.

[Sarah Silverman]

Maybe. I. I didn't do very well, but for some reason I stayed in the middle enough that I was consistently okay, but I didn't have any, like, big wins. But I. I don't pay for that one. That's $100 to be in, right? $100.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you don't pay for it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Who just who runs it?

[Scott Aukerman]

He grandfathers you in.

[Sarah Silverman]

He pays for it every year because he owes me thousands of dollars, and this is how he's paying me back. $100 per year in a, in a, in a pool, an office pool. I don't care about. So in about 100,000 years will be.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see you in there every, every week, and you do quite well. And I'm like, boy, Sarah really cares about this. I've never heard the backstory.

[Sarah Silverman]

I do have math about. I do have a way that I do it which doesn't always work well, which is I don't really watch the football, but I look at their. I look at the spread and I compare it to their stats. You know, typical football betting. Yeah. And then I just kind of see if they're at the home team, then they probably do a little better.

[Scott Aukerman]

A little better. Yeah. This is typical how people usually do.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh, I thought that was my special way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dave Juskow, who, who runs it, is very intense about it. And speaking of parents deathbeds, I was on my father's deathbed and he is frantically emailing me because I hadn't made my picks. And he's like, I wish I had your phone number. I would be calling you. You have to get your picks in. So I'm sitting here, my father is passing away, and I'm like, the only way to placate him is to make these picks. So I made my picks.

[Biff Brisket]

And did you win?

[Scott Aukerman]

I did pretty well that week, actually. Yeah. In any case, back to Biff Brisket here.

[Biff Brisket]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what, you're out of a job?

[Biff Brisket]

I'm out of a job.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry.

[Biff Brisket]

Well, I recently started a new business. Business.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a new job. Wow. What is it?

[Biff Brisket]

I am running bachelorette parties.

[Scott Aukerman]

Running them. What does that mean?

[Biff Brisket]

I'm planning them, sort of. I get a headset and I sort of run the whole weekend. It's the. Oh, it's a lateral move, intensity wise.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you call the plays at someone's bachelor party.

[Biff Brisket]

I go like, I send out an email and I go, scottsdale, Nashville, Miami, Vegas. Where are we going, gals? And then they pick, and then I let it rip after that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you in charge of the big hats that people wear at these.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, the big hats, the penis hats, the theme parties, the neon signs. I always call the cousin bridesmaid who's usually the One that runs amok. And I sort of straighten her out before I prank her. Toilet paper. Her house, Egger house, you know, same things I did tackle her. Exactly, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, this sounds like a great business. How did you become interested in. In that particular aspect?

[Biff Brisket]

Well, my daughter everly, who is 15 years older than my girlfriend currently, she got married and everything was so expensive. The bachelorette party. I was like, you're spending $4,000 to go to a bachelorette party? The costumes alone for a bachelorette party are, I don't know, $1,000.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are the costumes? Are they like flapper costumes or. What do people wear to bachelorette parties?

[Biff Brisket]

Scott, when was the last time you were on the Internet? What do you mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a lot of bachelorette parties on the Internet.

[Biff Brisket]

Oh, my gosh. That's half of it is. You got to take a picture of it. Every night's a different theme. It'll be like, like cowboy hats if you're in Nashville. Or it'll be like, like funeral theme. Like you're. You're celebrating the death of your single. Yeah. Or like founding fathers if you're a bunch of funny gals.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, like Hamilton.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you pay all this money and it's just like this money's got to go somewhere, right? Why not to me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Okay. Yeah. I mean, it goes to the services. That one is usually procuring when you're at the baseline party. So now you're the pass through.

[Biff Brisket]

It goes through you, it goes through me. And you know all these gals, especially if you're in a sorority, God forbid, you have a lot of female friends. Six, ten weddings a year. Everyone's getting married at the same time. It starts to add up. So I also am running a credit card company, and I have the gals open credit cards.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Biff Brisket]

It's an 80% interest rate. Scott, that's too high.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is way too high. I mean, you spend, you know, $100, then you owe 180.

[Biff Brisket]

Exactly. I'm rich.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's too much. It's predatory, isn't it, Sarah? I mean, did you have credit cards when you were growing up or did you stay away from all growing up? You know what I mean? Like, you know how they prey on teenagers who first time they're out of the house and they want to buy a bunch of stuff?

[Sarah Silverman]

No, the first credit card I got, I was like 20. And Mark Cohen was my, like, signatory or whatever comedian.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fans of 80s and 90s comedians are loving it. Today to hear Mark Cohen and Dave Juskow's name.

[Sarah Silverman]

By the way, I'm such a name dropper.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mark Cohen and Dave Juskow and me all on one episode of Make Me Laugh together.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mark hosted and Dave and I were on together.

[Sarah Silverman]

I saw there's a. There's a place like a sparrows or something that's across from Porto's. That's across from Porto's in Burbank that has Mark Cohen's headshot from Make Me Laugh. And he wrote make me lunch.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, I'll be on this show forever and everyone will know what this means.

[Biff Brisket]

A cultural touchstone. We all know what that is.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, Biff Brisket, what is your business called and what's the credit card called?

[Biff Brisket]

Biff's Bachelorette Parties is the credit card. Yes. And the business.

[Scott Aukerman]

And the business. Okay. And how's. How's it going for you? Oh, how many have you done? It's booming.

[Biff Brisket]

I've done well. I'm 80 at this point.

[Scott Aukerman]

8. How. When did you start this? You were just fired three weeks ago. You've done 80?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. Everyone's getting married, Scott. Post pandemic. People are. The wedding business is booming. There's money in this. I'm gonna bring you in.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, yeah, I mean, okay, you.

[Biff Brisket]

Gotta open a line of credit with me. The interest rate is 100%.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said it was 80.

[Biff Brisket]

Did I?

[Scott Aukerman]

Just five minutes ago.

[Biff Brisket]

For gals, it's 80%.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Biff Brisket]

I'm not a monster.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're trying to reconcile the wage gap.

[Biff Brisket]

Exactly. I'm a really good guy. You can tell by my everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

So are you yelling at the brides?

[Biff Brisket]

Oh, screaming at the bride. Same stuff I do at football games, I'm doing with the Brads. Pouring Gatorade on people isn't that they.

[Scott Aukerman]

Poured on the coach usually.

[Biff Brisket]

Actually think about that. Well, then I got all turned around because I'm pouring Gatorade on these type.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of coach that, like, they would try to pour Gatorade on you, you would grab it and pour it on there.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, I go, son of a fish, you guys. And I'd pour it on them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Intense. I mean, you're an intense coach. You said it yourself.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. And I mean, I also let people make bets on what's going to happen the weekend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really?

[Biff Brisket]

People can do fantasy football drafts and stuff, but for bachelorette party weekend.

[Scott Aukerman]

So what kind of things are they betting on?

[Biff Brisket]

Who's gonna throw up during the fitness class that we, for whatever reason decided to do at 6am on the Saturday.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did anyone jump over anybody?

[Biff Brisket]

Oh, my God. I'm telling you, this is part of bachelorette party culture. And I'm speaking from experience.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it sounds like it's going great for you. If I were to join into your business, what role do you see me playing? Am I a utility player, or do you strip? I don't. I mean, I could, because there's a.

[Biff Brisket]

Huge business for, like, joke strippers. Like, girl, like, funny gals are bringing in, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, ugly people. Is that what you're trying to say?

[Biff Brisket]

No, I mean, like. Like, you play, like, a historical figure or, like, Gene Hackman's role in, like, Poseidon Adventure. Something like a niche character that no one wants. A stripper version.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. So what historical figures are we. Are we talking U.S. presidents?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, U.S. presidents. What are some historical figures you know and love? Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, it's not my business.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, but you probably know one or two, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, Ludwig von Beethoven, that would be fantastic.

[Biff Brisket]

Or like, Thomas Edison.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Biff Brisket]

You come in and you're like, anyone need to invent electricity?

[Scott Aukerman]

And then a Nikola Tesla, you know, stripper comes in, and, you know, they battle out, like, who gets credit for it?

[Biff Brisket]

And all the girls are laughing and they're all horny, and then you get paid $100 that you pay to me, and then you're good for the night, and then.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much do I get paid? I.

[Biff Brisket]

You get paid in experience. You just made a room full of women horny. There's no price tag on that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I've never made a room full of women horny. Unless the room.

[Biff Brisket]

Not with that attitude.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just cool off. Was in it. You're right. I do need to improve my attitude with.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Getting people horny. Yeah.

[Biff Brisket]

There you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

How long do you think this can last for you? I mean, don't you miss football?

[Biff Brisket]

Well, I miss it something awful, Scott. And I'm trying to. My confidence is low, so I'm trying to coach myself. So I toilet papered my house last night, egged my house last night, didn't go and ditched my own house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you cleaned it up?

[Biff Brisket]

I should have my front porch. No, no. I need to learn a lesson.

[Sarah Silverman]

You know, when you're at the store buying a bunch of toilet paper and a bunch of eggs, the cashier eventually must be like, you should probably not eat eggs.

[Biff Brisket]

They think I'm very ill at the realms down the street. They think I'm very, very sick. But, Scott, if you ever need me to coach you through something, through A podcast, maybe. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

To be honest, I feel like I'm drowning during this episode. You know, I'm just coasting on Sarah's charisma, you know? Like, is there any way you could give me some pointers?

[Biff Brisket]

I guess, like, be more like Sarah Silverman.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's tough. I mean, she's been doing stand up since the high school 80s.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

The 90s in real life.

[Biff Brisket]

Classically sparkly and likable. Can you, you know, like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you just manic pixie, dream girl kind of effect. I don't think I have any of that.

[Biff Brisket]

Can you go back in time and be in School of Rock? I can't help you then.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I don't think I could.

[Sarah Silverman]

And then realize today that that character was right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, didn't I read something about the actual School of Rock guy? That is not so great. So what? Allegedly so.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh, I don't know anything about that.

[Biff Brisket]

I don't know anything about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So anyway, your character. Because you were. What was your character?

[Sarah Silverman]

I was just the cunty girlfriend of Ned Schneebly and the foil. I was the foil. But really, I was just mad because he lived in our living room and he didn't pay any rent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Yeah, you were right about that.

[Biff Brisket]

Which is completely right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sarah Silverman]

Although I guess that was like Mary Lynn for Tracy Catsky and I. And that was a delight.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Another famous comedy compound. Tracy Caskey and Mary Lynn and Sarah all live together. And Mary Lynn was in the living room.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful memories. With Mark Cohen, Dave Juskow.

[Sarah Silverman]

I mean, the luminaries, the people. I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is not like Tommy Lee Jones was Al Gore's roommate at Harvard. Well, look, Biff, Brisket, I wish you well. Maybe you can help me out in our next segment.

[Biff Brisket]

I would love to give me a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Few tips, you know what I mean? Because take us out. What would I do to go to commercial right now to make sure that people stick around for C Block?

[Biff Brisket]

Pour Gatorade on yourself.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I have a tub of Gatorade on yourself.

[Biff Brisket]

I made a bet that it was blue, but a hundred thousand dollars on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, you put a hundred thousand dollars that I had blue Gatorade here in the house?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, it's a parlay bet. I'm gonna be out a lot of money if you don't start doing all the stuff I bet on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I'll try to rustle up some during the break, if that's okay. Awesome.

[Sarah Silverman]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're gonna take A break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Sarah Silverman, more Biff Brisket, and we have a motivational speaker. Well, maybe the motivational speaker can give me some tips here.

[Biff Brisket]

Maybe. I'm already jealous. I hate the new baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, look, we're gonna come right back. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

[Biff Brisket]

You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Biff Brisket]

I mean, we all need that. That's what Uber's all about. Not just a ride or dinner at your door. It's how Uber helps you show up for the moments that matter. Because showing up can turn a tough day around or make a good one even better. Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way. So you can be on yours.

[Sarah Silverman]

Uber on our way.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi vehicle discount, Safe driver discount, New vehicle discount, Storage discount. How many discounts will you stack up?

[Biff Brisket]

Tap the banner or visit usaa.com autodiscounts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Restore McCrispy strips are now at McDonald's. Tender Juicy and its own sauce. Would you look at that? Well, you can't see it, but trust me, it looks delicious. New McCrispy strips now at McDonald's. Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. Sarah Silverman is here. Postmortem is the special out tonight, her fifth special of all time. So you can see the entirety of Sarah's standup comedy career in about five hours. Just spend the afternoon. How's that make you feel?

[Sarah Silverman]

I feel fine about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Plus, you're on a season of snl.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You watch Larry Sanders when you were on that too?

[Sarah Silverman]

Sure, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And watch. Why not watch School of Rock? We just talked about it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Why not check out Star Trek Voyager 1997?

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course I was doing a rewatch or an actual. It can't be a rewatch when you've never seen it, but I was doing a watch of it when Covid was going on.

[Sarah Silverman]

You were?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You had two episodes, right? Was it a two parter?

[Sarah Silverman]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You were on Earth, right?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

In a classic car over by, like, a museum or something like that.

[Sarah Silverman]

How about Griffith Park Observatory?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, right there. And you, you still had a pretty heavy New England accent.

[Sarah Silverman]

Did I? There was a time around then where, like every character I played drove a VW van. I think I had like 3 VW van.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are you interacting with again? Which one of the Star Trek gang?

[Sarah Silverman]

I can't you watched Star Trek Voyager?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Sarah Silverman]

Was it Tuvok and Paris?

[Scott Aukerman]

Tuvok, of course. And Paris.

[Sarah Silverman]

Paris was my love interest, but I did make out with Tuvok irl.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Paris, who was disgraced in Star Trek Next Generation.

[Sarah Silverman]

He was.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Because he was a part of some sort of. When he was at the Academy, some sort of lying about the details of an accident that happened, and then his character moved over to Voyager and he redeemed himself.

[Sarah Silverman]

He was great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I liked him as well as Tuvok, the Vulcan.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who was not in touch with his emotions.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. Because he. I always love that. That's like the Data character.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Although the Data character in Voyager, of course, was the Doctor who was a hologram.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh. And that's that guy Tom something.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. But apparently you didn't get to interact with him because he would stay on the ship until finally, I think he got tired of it and they invented something, supposedly on the show that he put on his clothes that made him able to walk around on Earth and other alien planets.

[Sarah Silverman]

I love that. This is what you did during COVID Oh, I did.

[Scott Aukerman]

I baked cakes. I watched all the Star Treks. What did you do?

[Sarah Silverman]

How about Tig? How about Tig? On Star. On Star Trek.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got to see her, too.

[Sarah Silverman]

And Jet Reno.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this where you developed your love for Call of Duty during COVID or. Yeah, it is.

[Sarah Silverman]

It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

So we had very different experiences, but.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, the world shut down, and I went to a GameStop and bought a used console in one game, Call of duty. World War II.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's World War II themed, that one.

[Sarah Silverman]

It was.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's fun. So it's your. So basically, you're killing Nazis.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, it was great.

[Biff Brisket]

I was playing animal crossing for 14 hours a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

14 hours a day, truly.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. And I kept time traveling to make it my birthday over and over again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they do something special? All the pigs?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, all the. All the villager pigs sing Happy Birthday for you and they clap for you. So it was like, mid May, and I was like, it's my birthday. I was doing well. I was thriving. I was also making cakes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Biff Brisket, of course, is here with us. Biff is a fired. Speaking of disgrace. Disgraced football who now has segued into bachelorette parties and credit card schemes.

[Biff Brisket]

Well, I wouldn't call it that. Please don't call it that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which part of it was I mischaracterizing?

[Biff Brisket]

I left college football amicably so it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was a mutual decision.

[Biff Brisket]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

In what way did you.

[Biff Brisket]

They fired me and I begged them to let me stay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, yeah, it sounds semi mutual there, but we need to get to our next guest. She's a motivational speaker. And this is exciting because I need some motivation here.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, I am so happy to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm happy to have you. Let me say your name. Please welcome Elsie Lynn.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, wow. It's just so impressive to be around such successful, wonderful people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And myself, I would imagine.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, you too?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you have Sarah here. Sarah.

[Elsie Lynn]

Forget about it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe the youngest person to ever be on snl. Is that right? Were you the youngest cast member? Eddie Murphy was, yeah. See? Are you second only to Eddie Murphy?

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't know, maybe 22, you said. Oh, Pete Davidson was young, wasn't he?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but still, just take it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yep, the youngest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just claim it.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, welcome to the show, Elsie Lynn. It's so wonderful to have you. You're a motivational speaker.

[Elsie Lynn]

I'm a motivational speaker and I don't know if I'm gonna fit in with you guys. I'm more in the mommy circuit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Why do you say. Obviously, I don't know what you mean.

[Elsie Lynn]

Just. Cause look at me. And.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fine, but look at it.

[Elsie Lynn]

So I am just going around town trying to get in different pockets with different people, letting them know it's okay to be a shitty mom. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I think there is. There's something to this. Thank you. You know, people need to give themselves a break a little bit on not being a parent is tough.

[Elsie Lynn]

I'm garbage. I'm trash.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're a mother yourself?

[Elsie Lynn]

I'm a mother.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many children do you have?

[Elsie Lynn]

One.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just one.

[Elsie Lynn]

Just one. Because I'm not gonna up any other kids, I'll tell you that much.

[Scott Aukerman]

How. How old is your child?

[Elsie Lynn]

My child's three.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three, okay.

[Elsie Lynn]

And she very soon, I'm sure, will be a meth head with a mother like me. Guys, I am messing up left and right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I. I do think, you know, one should afford oneself a little bit of grace when it comes to being a parent. But to not me, I mean, to be a meth head. I mean, maybe you are. What are your techniques for.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, my gosh, I'm so willy nilly with everything. You know, the other day I was reading about seed oils. You guys heard about seed oils?

[Scott Aukerman]

What are these? These are oils taken from seeds.

[Elsie Lynn]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so, you know, context clues got me There.

[Elsie Lynn]

And I was all out of my avocado oil.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Avocado is a seed.

[Elsie Lynn]

No, that's. Avocado is good. We want avocado. High temperature. High temperature smoke point.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what this means.

[Elsie Lynn]

That's okay. And.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's okay.

[Elsie Lynn]

Yeah, no, don't worry about it and all. And I. So all I had was olive oil, and I cooked my kids zucchini and olive oil. I'm telling you guys, you're gonna see her parading around the street giving Hugh Grant handies.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're trying to say that because you used olive oil instead of avocado.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oil, it's like, you know those. You know what they say? It's the little things. Things that take him down.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess so. I mean, I don't even know if olive oil is bad. I mean, in Italy, they must use it.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, have you been on Instagram? Olive oil is bad. Low smoke point.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what this smoke point thing is. Sarah, have you ever heard of this?

[Biff Brisket]

Thought that bachelorette parties were dressing like flappers. So he hasn't been on the Internet.

[Scott Aukerman]

In quite some time.

[Elsie Lynn]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess I hadn't heard this about motherhood. I mean, you know, I don't know. It doesn't sound that bad to me. I think you should give yourself a break.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, no, that is very sweet. Everybody does that with Mom. You're doing such a good job. You're such a good mom. It's okay to be a shitty mom, all right?

[Scott Aukerman]

I wouldn't even call yourself a shitty mom.

[Sarah Silverman]

I mean, you're.

[Elsie Lynn]

You don't even know about her birthday party.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what happened on her birthday party?

[Elsie Lynn]

She loves princesses, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Elsie Lynn]

She just dies for them every morning. She's like, I gotta get in a princess dress, Mom. I'm like, okay, which one? You know we have a line of, like, 17 of them, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you have bought 17 princess dresses for your kid. Yeah. That's 16 too many. I would say maybe 17.

[Elsie Lynn]

Shitty mom. Thank you for confirming.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, maybe you're.

[Sarah Silverman]

Told you.

[Elsie Lynn]

No, but I just want to normalize it. Right, okay, well, normalize it. Throw this huge party, get all these. This food, these cakes. She wants a pouch. Well, what did I do? I went and got her. I went and got a bunch of applesauce pouches, okay? She wanted apple peach. We didn't have a goddamn apple peach anywhere. So I'm running around, I'm trying to do. And you know what it. And then I just relaxed into It, I would have been to the third grocery store and I was like, I'm a shitty mom. My kids going down the tube. I'm, you know, I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

This did this. I, I gotta say, Elsie, you, you have to give yourself a break. This, I mean, that is so sweet. Half of it was apple.

[Elsie Lynn]

Cuz it was just Mother's Day. I have to give myself a break. That's what they say on Mother's Day. That is so cute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. She wanted apple. Peach. You got apple. I mean, you know, you know, it's not that far off off, but it.

[Elsie Lynn]

It'S the little things that just chip away at their psych.

[Sarah Silverman]

Microaggressions.

[Elsie Lynn]

Micro. Thank you, Sarah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you being aggressive?

[Elsie Lynn]

Well, I only talk to her in gentle parenting.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's wrong with that?

[Elsie Lynn]

No, no, no, I, I, I barely talk to her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Elsie Lynn]

I let her mostly do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is gentle parenting again?

[Elsie Lynn]

It's just whatever they say, go. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever they say go.

[Elsie Lynn]

And you run. And that's literally.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's just whatever, just whatever they say, you just take off in the opposite direction.

[Elsie Lynn]

Hop two, hop two. So I'm a bad mom?

[Biff Brisket]

If you're a bad mom, then. My mom was terrible. She used to tell me that it looked like rats had been sucking on my hair when I got out of the car for school.

[Elsie Lynn]

Rats had been sucking?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah.

[Elsie Lynn]

Hair?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. She said, why didn't you run a comb through your hair?

[Elsie Lynn]

But none of that matters.

[Scott Aukerman]

Rats have been sucking on it?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. It's very, it's a visceral description.

[Sarah Silverman]

An example of things that have been sucked on by rats.

[Elsie Lynn]

I don't think I've heard that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, usually it's like when someone says they have ratty hair, it's because it looks like a rat's, like fur or tail.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. Am I hearing for the first time that that's not a regional thing, that everybody.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never heard that expression before.

[Biff Brisket]

Fantastic. That's just something my mother and aunt said.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you know what?

[Elsie Lynn]

Good for her. Good for her.

[Biff Brisket]

I know, but like, how people were parenting in the 70s, 80s and 90s was like so much worse than what you're talking about.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, I think people, people just say that to be nice.

[Biff Brisket]

People are getting like, kidnapped because they're riding their bikes like 18 hours a day.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh my God, I wish I could get kidnapped.

[Biff Brisket]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

You wish you could get kidnapped?

[Elsie Lynn]

No, no, no. I just mean, like, you know, sometimes it's the other way around. You tell your kids, you know, don't be around A white van. And you're, like, looking for those white vans as you're driving your kid around.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it sounds to me like you're just exhausted. You.

[Elsie Lynn]

So listen, I. I think it's so sweet. You're all looking at me like, oh, oh, she's. Guys, I know what trash looks like.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're not.

[Elsie Lynn]

I. I'm like a. I mean, I guess I'm one of those rats sucking on your hair.

[Biff Brisket]

No, I. I don't see that at all. You're on your phone right now, like, setting up play dates and watching.

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, yeah, I have carpal tunnel. That's what the. That's what the.

[Scott Aukerman]

That doesn't make you a bad mom to have carpal tunnel syndrome.

[Elsie Lynn]

Well, then I can't pick her up as easily. I got to take them off when.

[Scott Aukerman]

We go as easily. You're still picking her up?

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, sure. Well, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Biff, can I talk to you for.

[Biff Brisket]

A second over here? Of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sarah, you want to join us over here?

[Biff Brisket]

Huddle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Okay. Don't get so excited. You have dollar signs in your eyes right now.

[Biff Brisket]

All right. It's like the old days.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hey, Biff, it feels like Elsie Lynn is. Is hanging by a thread here.

[Biff Brisket]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think she's doing all that bad of a job, but she seems exhausted.

[Biff Brisket]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. We need you to. To give her some sort of motivation here. The motivational speaker needs motivation. How ironic is that?

[Biff Brisket]

All right, I'm gonna go out to my car. I'm gonna grab my egg. Eggs. My toilet paper.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I have some eggs right here, okay? And I. During the break, I got some toilet paper. I couldn't find any Gatorade, but I got a bunch of eggs and toilet paper, so.

[Biff Brisket]

Perfect. Okay, give me one minute.

[Scott Aukerman]

One minute. What do you need the minute for? I'm sorry?

[Biff Brisket]

Well, I also. I don't mean to talk about your front porch. I need a second.

[Scott Aukerman]

You okay? Do you need it? Do you need caffeine or something like that? Like a cup of coffee or something? If you want.

[Biff Brisket]

Why are you making me say those?

[Sarah Silverman]

I don't understand, like, toilet papering a house, does that entail.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, she's gonna on the porch and.

[Biff Brisket]

Put in a bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, put it in.

[Sarah Silverman]

Oh. Oh, great. Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

And when I say she, I mean he.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Biff, are you ready? Yep.

[Biff Brisket]

Oh, moms, take a knee.

[Elsie Lynn]

I can't. So sorry.

[Biff Brisket]

All right, you know what? Comfortably. Oh, I punch his locker. What's going on out there, everybody? What the hell am I seeing out there? On that field.

[Elsie Lynn]

Yeah. We are garbage. No, no, we are trash.

[Biff Brisket]

You are playing the games of your life. You. You're killing it. You're the best mom I ever saw in my whole time.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, Scott, what about me?

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, I'm gonna loop right back around to you. I'll be back in one second. Sarah Silver, you're a national treasure. Thank you. My mom sent you me clips of you saying stuff all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God.

[Elsie Lynn]

Maybe you're right. Maybe I should leave this kid. Kid?

[Biff Brisket]

No, that's not what I mean. I'm.

[Elsie Lynn]

Maybe I should just get out. Get out of the game.

[Biff Brisket]

We're gonna find you a therapist.

[Elsie Lynn]

What?

[Biff Brisket]

Yep.

[Elsie Lynn]

My kid has four therapists. I don't have time for therapy. I gotta take my kid to therapy.

[Biff Brisket]

We're gonna. You're gonna leave your partner because I can tell by your everything that they're not very supportive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who is your. Who are you with right now? Who did you have the baby with?

[Elsie Lynn]

What was his name?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, this is.

[Elsie Lynn]

Larry.

[Scott Aukerman]

Larry. Larry.

[Elsie Lynn]

Yeah. I don't see him much.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not Larry H. Parker, is it?

[Elsie Lynn]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

The lawyer.

[Elsie Lynn]

What?

[Sarah Silverman]

The cartoon lawyer.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is Larry Parker, of course. Okay.

[Elsie Lynn]

Larry. You said Larry H. Larry H. Parker.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Elsie Lynn]

With an H in the middle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, he. He. I mean, he. He just passed away.

[Elsie Lynn]

My daughter's name is Parker Parker.

[Scott Aukerman]

Her name is Parker Parker?

[Elsie Lynn]

Yes. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Elsie Lynn]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Yeah, he was. He's on billboards everywhere.

[Elsie Lynn]

Well, it seems like we're. I'm gonna really enjoy your special.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, well, we have a really special meaning for you.

[Elsie Lynn]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Did that work, do you think?

[Elsie Lynn]

No, I. I think you need to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get to the eggs.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

And also, I'm waiting for my compliments because.

[Biff Brisket]

Yes, Scott, ain. I like. What did you say earlier about the boys coming out in spring that I liked.

[Scott Aukerman]

You liked that?

[Biff Brisket]

I liked that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been talking now for over an hour, and that's the only thing that you liked about.

[Biff Brisket]

I loved that. It made me smile.

[Scott Aukerman]

Scott, if I can give someone one smile, that's really all anyone can expect out of a podcast is one smile.

[Biff Brisket]

Yeah, I love. Okay, I'm feeling a little low confidence. Can somebody coach me, sort of motivate me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Back up, Sarah Silverman. Sarah, you want to coach Biff over here?

[Sarah Silverman]

Biff, you're killing it. You are absolutely killing it.

[Biff Brisket]

What advice would you have for new moms?

[Elsie Lynn]

You know, as I said before, what she says, go, run.

[Sarah Silverman]

So just.

[Elsie Lynn]

What, you know, if you're trying to get shoes on to your kid as they're going out the door.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why, why is that so hard? By the way, Getting shoes on kids. Like, shouldn't it be easier? Like that's, that's the number one problem that the parents have, I think is getting shoes.

[Elsie Lynn]

I could put a pencil through my eye right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would, I had, I had this this morning. It was impossible. I didn't. Like, this has got to be easier. Like shouldn't you. They should invent shoes that are like a magnet come over to you and then wrap like seal themselves around the foot, shouldn't they?

[Elsie Lynn]

No. No. And so you just have to. The shoes are never going to go on the feet.

[Scott Aukerman]

So just send them off shoeless.

[Elsie Lynn]

So carry them even with your bracelet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jackson style.

[Elsie Lynn]

Yes.

[Sarah Silverman]

You know, if you don't wear shoes for long enough, your feet kind of make their own shoe.

[Scott Aukerman]

The cavemen didn't have shoes.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Calluses, animal pelts.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah. Your feet become its own shape.

[Elsie Lynn]

Enough skin develops.

[Biff Brisket]

I have a second compliment for you, Scott. I like that you said caveman penis under your breath just now.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I said it full throatedly, but. All right. Well, we are running out of time. Unfortunately we only have time for one final feature on the show and that is of course a little something called plugs.

[Sarah Silverman]

Anal plugs.

[Scott Aukerman]

We had comedy banding. Care.

[Sarah Silverman]

Sorry, aggressive.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was we at Comedy Bang Bang Care by the Human Neighbor. Thanks so much to the Human Neighbor. If you have a plug theme, head over to Comedy Bang bang world or cbb world.com plugs and there you can upload all of your themes and you can be famous for a week. And the Human Neighbor. You are famous for a week. Congratulations. Enjoy it while it lasts. And Sarah, what are we plugging?

[Sarah Silverman]

It's a great name. A hu. The Human Neighbor.

[Scott Aukerman]

The Human Neighbor.

[Sarah Silverman]

Love that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're speaking of great names. Postmortem mortem. Is that right? Tonight?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yes. We've said it so many times. Post mortem. Post mortem. Sarah Silverman post mortem on Netflix.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have any Voyager style TV appearances on the horizon?

[Sarah Silverman]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should be on the. The new Star Trek shows like they come back to your character.

[Sarah Silverman]

Rain Robinson.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're still Rain Robinson. She's still at Griffith park hanging out.

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah, maybe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe. Hey, you. You are.

[Sarah Silverman]

I'm in canon. I'm canon. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you're. And you're tech avail.

[Sarah Silverman]

I'm tech avail.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. But postmortem out tonight. Everyone should check it out. Biff, Brisket. What do you want to plug?

[Biff Brisket]

My podcast. Hey, Riddle Riddle is going on tour this year.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have a podcast, Biff?

[Biff Brisket]

I have a lot of different hands and a lot of different honey pots. That's something we say. Down and out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Irons and fires may be a little more common.

[Biff Brisket]

Irons and crimson fire. So, hey, Riddle Riddle, Anywhere you find podcasts, and if you want to come see us live, we're doing like 15 different cities.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic. Where do people get info that? Heyriddle.

[Biff Brisket]

Riddle.com. it's live. Follow us on Instagram.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful. And Elsie Lynn, what do you plug in?

[Elsie Lynn]

I'm gonna go off the grid for a little bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're going off the grid? Oh, so you're. Are you. Are you gonna abandon your child?

[Elsie Lynn]

I'm just gonna see what kind of white van I can get involved.

[Scott Aukerman]

Normally, I would say that's a bad idea, but with you, I think it might be apropos. You know, I think you need some separation. Well, what do I want to plug? I want to plug. I mentioned CBB World. You can get the entire archive of this show. You can listen to ad free episodes. You can hear every live episode we've ever done there. Plus, we have new shows. We have CBB Presents, where people from this show have their own shows like hey Randy with Randy Snuts and who Me with the Batman and this book's Changed My Life with Lily Sullivan and Eat, Pray Dunk with Bill Walton. Plus you have Scott hasn't seen where we watch movies. Sarah, you were right in that.

[Sarah Silverman]

That's fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

We watched Pretty Woman, did we not? We did and had a great time. And that's with Sprague the Whisperer.

[Sarah Silverman]

Big mistake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, huge. Huge for us to watch that movie. I did not care for it. And we have Collegetown. We have the neighborhood Listen and ad free. Three of them. So much over there. Head on over to cbbworld.com and let's close up the old plug bag. You've got to make your dreams. You've got to, you've got to, you've got to make your dreams.

[Sarah Silverman]

These bags.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. That was Home Homer by Brian Pickard. I hope I'm saying that correctly. Brian Pickard. Thanks to Brian Pickard for that closing up the plug back theme. And, guys, I want to thank you so much. Sarah, always a pleasure to have you. I hope you'll come back for episode 14.

[Sarah Silverman]

I. I will.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your 14th appearance.

[Sarah Silverman]

I will not.

[Scott Aukerman]

Episode 14 of the show.

[Sarah Silverman]

I was just thinking, I wonder if it's Brian Picard.

[Scott Aukerman]

It could be. Oh, speaking of Star Trek bringing it.

[Sarah Silverman]

All around like a real improviser.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amazing. And also I want to thank Biff Brisket here and good luck to you.

[Biff Brisket]

Thank you for having me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Of course. The most normal thing you said today. And Elsie Lynn, good luck to you. I sincerely hope you abandon your child and check yourself into a mental institution.

[Elsie Lynn]

Thank you so much. Yeah, it's really been a pleasure.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's my sincere wish for you.

[Sarah Silverman]

Thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. Me, unfortunately, I got to keep on going. We'll see you next week. Thanks.

[Biff Brisket]

Bye. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most?

[Sarah Silverman]

Yeah.

[Biff Brisket]

I mean, we all need that. That's what Uber's all about. Not just a ride or dinner at your door. It's how Uber helps you show up for the moments that matter. Because showing up can turn a tough day around or make a good one even better. Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way. So you can be on yours.

[Sarah Silverman]

Uber on our way.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi vehicle discount, Safe driver discount, New vehicle discount, Storage discount. How many discounts will you stack up?

[Biff Brisket]

Tap the ban or visit usaa.com autodiscounts restrictions apply.

[Scott Aukerman]

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