Skids+ (Adam Scott, Dan Gregor, Doug Mand)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang Podcast: "Skids+"

Episode Overview (August 25, 2025)
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests: Adam Scott (Severance), Dan Gregor, Doug Mand, and “Bob PBS” (character)
Episode Theme:
This episode is emblematic Comedy Bang Bang: part showbiz gabfest, part absurdist improv. Star guest Adam Scott is grilled about acting, producing, and the Emmy-nominated Severance, but things spiral gloriously off the rails into elaborate comic detours—including a wild send-up of PBS, a desperate “Jumbotron Jim,” and recurring in-jokes. The main arc revolves not just around Hollywood and TV—but parodies streaming wars, children’s programming scandals, and the agony and ecstasy of showbiz itself.

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I. Main Guests & Episode Introduction

[00:00–04:00]

• Scott Aukerman welcomes listeners and celebrates the return of “stars” to Comedy Bang Bang as Hollywood’s twin strikes have passed.
• Adam Scott is re-introduced: movie star ("Madame Web"), TV star (Severance), podcaster, comedian, and soon-to-be author. Banter pokes fun at Hollywood’s “star ranking” (movies > TV > comedians > authors > podcasters).
• Scott teases guest line-up with characterful ambiguity: a "concerned citizen" and "an heir (H-E-I-R)."

Notable Quotes:

• "[Adam] has straddled at least four [Hollywood ranks]... five among other things." —Scott & Adam, [03:18]

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II. Adam Scott’s Hollywood & Comedy Bang Bang Deep Dive

[04:00–11:00]

• Madame Web: Adam jokes about being Uncle Ben—a meta-nod to Spider-Man lore and MCU/Sony confusion.
  • "I'm worried you did that whole movie thinking Spider-Man has claws." —Scott, [03:54]
• Stage Mishaps: Tangent about seeing "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" and its dangerous reputation.
  • Mix-up about which acts of Broadway shows Adam “half-watched,” leading to math jokes about show attendance.
• Comedy Specials: Adam brags about his unique “two two-hour specials” format, featuring a repeated, “dramatic” second hour and reading credits aloud for runtime padding.
  • "If it's a two-hour special, you get paid buco dolores." —Adam, [11:20]
• Podcast/Talk-Show Dynamics: Recap of a missed guest appearance due to L.A. fires and miscommunications with Zach Cherry. Scott and Adam playfully conspire to keep Zach off CBB.
  • "I don't want Zach to achieve any of his dreams." —Adam, [10:13]

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III. Severance, Emmy Noms, & Apple TV+ Parody

[11:00–20:00]

• Severance—The Emmy Push:

  • Adam is nominated for Best Lead Actor and as an executive producer.
  • Comic riff about the job of executive producer: Adam “cleaning the set” before acting, so Zach Cherry (“America’s dream”) won’t find dust.
    • "If it's not spic and span, you know you're in deep shit." —Adam, [16:39]

• Scott’s Admission:

  • He finally watches “two episodes”—the first…and the last, but reveals much of it was in a dream state (“my mom…turned into a hairy ogre”). Adam gently points out he probably fell asleep.
  • "Why isn't my mom nominated for all these Emmys? Because she was great in your dreams, she was phenomenal!" —Scott, [23:19]

• Voting for the Emmys:

  • Satirical confusion about how “Joe the Plumber” can vote for the Emmys. Adam jokes the Emmys are “America’s Choice Awards.”
    • "How does just the dumbest asshole listening to this show vote for you?" —Scott, [24:54]

• Apple TV+ Satire:

  • Riff on the cost of streaming services—Scott claims some pay "$5,000/month," Adam corrects him to about $9–10/month.
  • The absurd economics of streaming, with Scott’s “friend” Rod Rochester (one of the Jerky Boys) acting as a tech fixer.

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IV. The State of Severance and Showbiz Sadness

[20:00–32:00]

• When is Severance Season 3 coming?

  • Adam: still “writing.”
  • Scott presses for details—leads to a running gag about “filming yourself at home counts as starting season 3.”
  • They joke about streaming schedules conflicting with “early bird at Denny’s,” ultimately scheduling a Binge at Denny’s on a projector.

• The Friendship Test:

  • Scott confronts the hypocrisy of supporting Adam’s movie vs. TV work (“Was in Madame Web for 1hr 45min, now you ask 19 hours for Severance?”).

Notable Banter:

• "It's quite a time commitment. Like, hey, my buddy has a show, want to go watch 19 hours?" —Scott, [31:09]

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V. Bob PBS, The PBS Parody (Doug Mand)

[39:00–58:00]

Timestamps: [39:43–58:00]

• Intro:
  • “Bob PBS,” purported heir to the PBS fortune, is in crisis: "thirty-seven dollars" left, government funding cut, tasked with relaunching PBS Kids as “S Kids Plus” (a.k.a. “Skids Plus”).
  • Absurd streaming plan: buy a hot dog, get a free subscription to Skids Plus.

Notable Gags:

• "Anywhere you get a hot dog, that's part of the gig." —Bob PBS, [42:10]

• Sinister Origin Story:

  • Wild, satirical narrative about PBS funding being denied by the Trump administration, involving a White House basement, puppet soul transfers, and “relinquishing parental rights” over Sesame Street puppets.
  • Eric Trump—dons the Snuffleupagus suit, assaults Bob. Meanwhile, Baron Trump (in a Big Bird suit) menaces Bob’s wife in Delaware via Facetime.
  • Overtly dark, grotesque improv about puppet abuse and PBS being co-opted for diamond mining, labor exploitation, and sultans’ furry fetishes.

• Future of PBS/Skids Plus:

  • “Curious George” now laboring in a diamond mine, “Elmo” repurposed for adult entertainment. Adam’s giddy at the puppet spirits gag; Scott is revolted/entertained.

Notable Quotes:

• “Monkey lifespan is actually perfectly designed for the lifespan of a diamond mine…” —Bob, [54:38]
• “Elmo will be the sex slave of sultans... you can turn Elmo out, turn him inside out...” —Bob, [57:01]

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VI. Jumbotron Jim (Dan Gregor): The Concerned Citizen

[72:41–91:31]

Timestamps: [72:41–91:42]

• Introduction:
  • “Jim Del Monte” (a.k.a. Jumbotron Jim or Jimbotron), is obsessed with appearing on the Wells Fargo Center jumbotron. After a disastrous dance-cam incident (that resulted in a child’s injury and much bloodshed), he’s been banned from the arena.
• Backstory:
  • History of parental kidnapping, a life shaped by needing to be seen, possible connection to Dr. J (“my real father?”) or other Sixers.
  • Scott plays therapist, piecing together his family history and neuroses.
• Resolution:
  • Scott gifts Jim a jumbotron and suggests he drive around with it in Philadelphia, eventually hoping his real mother—a Sixers fan—will see him.

Notable Quotes:

• “You really helped this citizen here—now I’m no longer concerned.” —Jim, [91:29]
• “That’s what we do here at Comedy Bang Bang: we care.” —Scott, [91:38]

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VII. Additional Bits, Ongoing Gags & Memorable Moments

• Recurring In-Jokes:
  • Scott’s “everything in my house is up for grabs” policy—each guest on the show gets to take something home (culminating in Bob PBS stealing Scott’s safe full of gold and blackmail material).
• Friendship & Resentment:
  • Adam and Scott’s running push-pull about genuine support, voting, and the vacuum left by showbiz.
• The Plugs Bag:
  • Plugs for Skids Plus, Severance, and a new Naked Gun movie. Adam and Scott plug their required-yet-perpetual podcast-in-lieu-of-traffic-school.

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VIII. Notable Quotes & Moments

| Time | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |--------|----------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:54 | Scott | "I'm worried you did that whole movie thinking Spider-Man has claws." | | 10:13 | Adam | "I don't want Zach to achieve any of his dreams." | | 16:39 | Adam | "If it's not spic and span, you know you're in deep shit." | | 23:19 | Scott | "Why isn't my mom nominated for all these Emmys? Because she was great in your dreams!" | | 24:54 | Scott | "How does just the dumbest asshole listening to this show vote for you?" | | 42:10 | Bob PBS | "Anywhere you get a hot dog, that's part of the gig." | | 54:38 | Bob PBS | "Monkey lifespan is actually perfectly designed for the lifespan of a diamond mine..." | | 57:01 | Bob PBS | "Elmo will be the sex slave of sultans... you can turn Elmo out, turn him inside out..." | | 91:29 | Jim | "You really helped this citizen here—now I’m no longer concerned." |

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IX. Episode Flow & Utility

• This episode is a quintessential Comedy Bang Bang blend: real showbiz chat, erudite goofing, wild scenes, and recurring “lore.”
• Listeners will enjoy the show’s rhythm: start with real(ish) interviews, then spiral into surreal bits—never staying on track for long.
• Adam Scott, always game, matches Scott Aukerman’s deadpan for deadpan—whether it’s about Emmy voting, childhood trauma, or skits about a dystopian PBS.
• The “Skids Plus” segment is an extended highlight, showcasing the guest improv’s escalation from silly to deranged (puppet spirits, political debauchery, and industry parody).
• The emotional throughline—craving recognition and validation, longing for lost family, starved for awards—gets satirized and then sneakily humanized by episode’s end.

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For Listeners New and Old:

• You’ll get a taste of the recurring CBB universe, its improvisational energy, its Hollywood-adjacent play, and its facility for morphing a simple premise into multilayered absurdity.
• The episode is dense with jokes but also rewarding in callbacks and thematic cohesion: the emptiness at the center of stardom, the reinvention mania of media, the pain and joy of attention.

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TL;DR:

Adam Scott returns to Comedy Bang Bang, gets roasted on Severance, Hollywood, and friendship; “PBS” becomes a darkly funny parody of American decline; “Jumbotron Jim” longs for parental and public attention. The show is a meta, spiraling joke machine—with just enough pathos under the surface.

Recommended Segments/Quotes:

• Opening banter and Scott's “rankings” monologue [00:00–04:00]
• Apple TV+ pricing and Severance watching [17:50–20:00]
• Bob PBS’s “Skids Plus” debacle [39:43–58:00]
• Jim Del Monte’s Jumbotron saga [72:41–91:42]

Most Memorable Line:
"How does just the dumbest asshole listening to this show vote for you?" —Scott Aukerman, [24:54]

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Five among other things.

[A]

Other things you've straddled yeah he is i think a bonafide movie star you don't do a little film called madame web without that.

[B]

Sealed it i think i think you're right i hadn't really put that one together but yeah i think you'll be.

[A]

Getting those hands in front of the.

[B]

Chinese theater don't you think but instead of hands just like spider claws okay.

[A]

I'M worried that you did that whole movie thinking spider man has claws isn't.

[B]

He the clawed caped crusader isn't that.

[A]

No he doesn't have a cape he doesn't have claws i think you're thinking of a cross between batman and wolverine hmm but now you were not a superpowered character you were uncle ben that was the big reveal that's right you're canonically in the mcu uncle ben.

[B]

I guess so but i don't think it ended up that was what it was but then you were all tricked into.

[A]

Being in this movie thinking it was the mcu and then you got there on set one day and they were like oh by the way no this.

[B]

Is just sony no no when i saw it they had taken out there wasn't any reference to uncle ben or.

[A]

Anything so you never said like i.

[B]

Don'T did you see it hey has.

[A]

Anyone seen my nephew around here right.

[B]

Well the end of the movie i've seen it yes well okay so the end of the movie is spider man.

[A]

Being born right yeah i believe that there's a long birth scene where you see the vagina and he comes out of it and it's about like thirty five minutes tacked on during the credits.

[B]

But they don't say they don't go hey it's peter parker or anything right.

[A]

So none of it's clear but your name is parker in it is it not or do they just call you.

[B]

Ben the whole time i don't remember i don't know i have no idea.

[A]

How many times have you seen this.

[B]

Film i i saw the film once the the music should i have seen it more but i saw spider man turn off the dark oh see i get the two mixed up of course.

[A]

That'S the musical of course that you saw many many times on broadway many times and you were there every single time a spider man died isn't that.

[B]

Right every single time which how many times did a spider man i think.

[A]

It got up to thirty eight and then they were like we gotta cancel this show it's a lot it's a.

[B]

High count yeah yeah i saw spider man turn off the dark half of once but boy it was fantastic that.

[A]

Half which half did you see did you see the first act or act two or did you come for the last half of act one and the first half of act two i saw.

[B]

The second half of act one the third quarter of act two and then i love coming in act three i like seeing the first eighth and the seventh eighth of that is brilliant so it equaled out just doing the math here to half of once half of.

[A]

Once yeah it was great an incredible show and a privilege to be there within the marvel universe playing the canonically.

[B]

Dead uncle but also i was in the mcu playing audience member in spider man turn off the dark that's right.

[A]

Yes he also was in such films as torque piranha three dimensions what else you got oh the aviator martin scorsese.

[B]

How great would it have been if it was called piranha three dimensions three.

[A]

Dimensions and he oh so that's movies he also was a podcaster yeah listen.

[B]

It'S nothing to nothing to nothing to.

[A]

Sneeze at sneeze at if you're going around sneezing at things you sneeze on.

[B]

Me and sneeze all over my podcast i'm going to fucking kick your ass.

[A]

I heard you were on amy poehler's show the other day which was inexplicably voted by time magazine as one of the top one hundred podcasts of all time even though she's been doing it for about three episodes did you get.

[B]

Jealous when i popped up on amy's.

[A]

Podcast i didn't i was like you know i've been chasing you for a while now now canonically within the comedy bang bang universe you were supposed to be on the week severance season two came on that's right and i'll introduce you in a second yeah zach cherry.

[B]

And you are going to be here we have we could go to our texts if you want the texts of us being like this is fine right we can it's just a little smoke.

[A]

Basically what happened was the la fires broke out the day before you were supposed to do the show and we were like oh this is fine this is fine and then the morning of zach backed out and said hey i can't do that show anymore i'm getting the fuck out of california i'm leaving and then i texted you and said hey zach backed out do you still want to do it and you just wrote back oh no i totally forgot i was even going to do that i did yes and then i wrote to zach i said adam forgot he was doing it and adam goes no he told me he was backing out that's why i backed out what is the real story is that really what happened that is really what happened this has all been discussed on scott hasn't seen when zach was on recently oh.

[B]

Really yes.

[A]

I want to hold your feet to the fire on this sure you can't just say like oh i forgot and then meanwhile you're doing you know side channels back channels with zack.

[B]

Cherry yeah let me let me kind of untangle my web of lies here.

[A]

You'Re my damn web clearly my damn.

[B]

Web i do know that by the time we were discussing it it was the fires were kicking into gear yeah high gear and my in laws lost their house that's right yes so i was in the probably in the midst of that and not i think they.

[A]

Didn'T if i can review the timeline a little bit i believe your in laws did not lose their house until two hours after our recording would have.

[B]

Ended oh wait let me check my timeline here okay wait five am to four am oh my god you're right.

[A]

Yeah i think you just.

[B]

You just.

[A]

Caught me i caught you in a lie and why would you lie to.

[B]

A good friend well here's the thing is that i didn't want zach to.

[A]

Do your show this makes more sense.

[B]

You didn't want him to do your.

[A]

Show i know yeah i was worried about it too but then he was like oh i'm gonna come with adam and i checked with you i was like adam is zach coming with and you were like i guess yeah but.

[B]

Wait you're saying that zach did a.

[A]

Different show of yours he did a.

[B]

Different one yeah but i have prevented him from doing this show yes he's.

[A]

Never and it's his dream to do this show and he still has never.

[B]

Done this i don't want zach to achieve any of his dreams.

[A]

I hope he doesn't i really i truly do.

[B]

Thank you so it's two of us.

[A]

Now yeah we're a unified front against zack cherry so you are a podcast by the way you were on amy's show and she brought up the fact that you had a podcast with me and almost in a derisive way really wasn't it i don't think so she said remember when you had that podcast about youtube with scott aukerman almost in a making fun of you way what's.

[B]

That what's all that i don't think that's the way she was bringing it.

[A]

Up at all all right well still kudos to her for having one of time's top one hundred podcasts of all time absolute absolutely so he's a podcaster he's a movie star but most importantly he's also a comedian with a special you've had two hour specials two two.

[B]

Two hour specials i'm the only one sorry that's right so i have when i do a special it's two solid hours not including credits not including credits.

[A]

Two hours of talking for half about.

[B]

Half hour yeah or so and it's.

[A]

Only half comedy yeah well the other part of it is you do your first hour then you just repeat the.

[B]

Jokes i repeat the jokes but dramatically yeah and then all the credits that roll at the end i say them out loud right just to fill some time because i'm telling you if it's a two hour special you get paid buco dolores that's right i think you.

[A]

Get paid one and a half times.

[B]

One and a half what you get.

[A]

For a one hour it's like it's like golden hour overtime exactly so he's a movie star tv star comedian with a special he's also a podcaster not an author yet but you're working on something you were telling me i am.

[B]

I am i'm working on a tome of sorts i'm going to leave it at that well done yes thank you.

[A]

Thank you thank you is this historical.

[B]

Fiction what what genre possible at some point i would love for you to to read the galleys is that well.

[A]

Well well do you want me to write an introduction or perhaps a blurb no okay yeah why do you want.

[B]

Me to read the galleys never mind.

[A]

I'Ll read i mean i'm available never.

[B]

Mind i'm fine i'm good i'm tech avail okay great it would be great if you could just take i'd love.

[A]

To read the galleys you did blurb the comedy bang bang book oh i.

[B]

Sure did which was quite a thrill.

[A]

For the fans oh yeah but most importantly right now he is a tv star a full on tv star thank you who is nominated for one of those golden guys or girls one of.

[B]

Those big boys or girls holding the.

[A]

Big what is that like a globe or what what they have wings in there what are they supposed to be.

[B]

You have some sitting upstairs in your house no they're right there they are really oh there they are but i think that's what are they supposed to do i think that's a woman isn't.

[A]

It i mean those big natties sort of suggest it but you're vying for a couple right here in just a couple of weeks the little show called the emmy awards the primetime emmy awards is coming up people are voting for it right now he is nominated for a couple of you got a couple of noms and the show severance is nominated for a record breaking twenty seven nominations is that a record i just said record breaking realized that it could.

[B]

I don't know but let's just say it it's more than twenty six it's not as much as twenty eight it's.

[A]

Just right it is just right there in the sweet spot that's right please welcome back to the show adam scott.

[B]

Hey scott how are you man great.

[A]

Great to have you thanks now severance people are voting for it right now the nominations have already been announced you're nominated for best lead actor best lead.

[B]

Actor or just most lead actor most.

[A]

Lead actor that's right and you also you're a producer on the show severance right so do you get one of the awards if it wins tv show.

[B]

I believe that's how it works i.

[A]

Just didn't know whether executive producer or producer executive producer you're executive producer what.

[B]

Are your duties did you just say just call me duty what what what.

[A]

What what are your responsibilities well on the show in terms of executive producing because i know you show up and.

[B]

You act yeah yeah yeah i do acting work on the show but also we we work in new york that's where we shoot the show oh okay so i don't know if you know in new york city if you're working say you're working maintenance at a tennis court sure let's say you're on wall street sure oh my gosh financial district.

[A]

Yeah oh my god that would be.

[B]

The dream bull and the bear right yep say you're working there just an office job or you're one of the big boys you're one of the titans of industry maybe you're working in a broadway theater sure why not great maybe.

[A]

Maybe you're a plumber maybe you're a plumber just scraping shit out of toilets.

[B]

In a theater on the great white.

[A]

Way that's right just like cleaning toilets for andrew lloyd webber when he just.

[B]

Destroys one that's right which happens all the time no matter what your job is if you're in new york city there's always a little cleanup to do so i come in in the morning before everyone gets there like three four.

[A]

Am now this is the city that never sleeps but that's a misnomer because new york has actually shut down between two thirty and three thirty everything shuts.

[B]

Down they turn the power off right so once three o' clock hits i'm able my alarm goes off because i set my alarm for the moment the power comes back on oh okay so i'm up at three you're up at three and i zoom right over as fast as i can to where we shoot the show okay and i just start sweeping up i start vacuuming you.

[A]

Do a sweep and a vacuum i.

[B]

Do a sweep and then a vacuum and then you sweep again okay boy you're really thorough you got it it's got to be clean right because you.

[A]

Don'T want you don't want a dusty.

[B]

Set for zachary zach cherry comes in he's like he rubs his finger along.

[A]

My face so he's white gloving your.

[B]

Face my my face wow and i'm like bro i just cleaned every surface in this place including my face wow and if it's not spic and span you know you're in deep shit yeah.

[A]

Yeah so you do that every day.

[B]

You shoot every day well and that's that's one of my responsibilities i mean.

[A]

That deserves an emmy right there thank you yeah that's incredible i had no.

[B]

Idea and then i start acting oh.

[A]

Okay and when do you stop acting.

[B]

Well that's for me to know and for you to find out scott because.

[A]

I by the way adam i have famously never watched your show yeah i.

[B]

Was wondering if you'd seen it by now i haven't seen you in like.

[A]

A year i am here to announce yeah last night i watched two episodes.

[B]

You did that's right now which two.

[A]

Episodes i watched the first and the last okay perfect because for the emmys you're not allowed to vote for someone you're finally up for lead actor you're not allowed to vote for a show or an actor if you haven't seen the show that's right so i went ahead and i watched two episodes last night and i'm here to tell you i am not voting for you well.

[B]

That actually makes me feel good you know why because i want you to make an informed educated vote that's right and i wish you were voting for me sure i i do i'm gonna.

[A]

Be honest as a friend i wish i was voting for you right but because i know you care i'm not voting as a friend like best friend sure i would vote for you every.

[B]

Single time absolutely but we're not that's not the game we're playing no no no no that's not what you're voting.

[A]

For no i'm voting for acting skills.

[B]

And i respect that thank you so much it saddens me i'm just going to be honest sure it saddens me as a friend but also it saddens me that you watch the show and you think that i'm coming up short.

[A]

You know what i just feel like you could give you're giving one hundred percent i wish you would give one.

[B]

Hundred ten percent i get that yeah i one hundred percent get that again.

[A]

I wish you one hundred ten percent.

[B]

Got that okay let's say i one hundred and fifteen percent get that that i'm not giving over one hundred percent in my work or as far as your perception goes and i'm going to say again that hurts my feelings i.

[A]

Expected to i expected it would of.

[B]

Course because we're friends but you know.

[A]

What i also transparency and honesty is what comedy bang bang is all about i know and i just felt like.

[B]

I had to tell you every time i come and sit down in this chair and feel my buns up against this fabric by the way the sun.

[A]

Is out and your buns are out when you know that famous phrase sun is sun out buns out sun is out buns are out yeah that's on.

[B]

The t shirt you're wearing exactly yes so i appreciate the honesty i guess.

[A]

Is what i'm saying no problem no problem but i you know what i got to say i'd been i didn't want to watch a show because apple tv plus you know we've we've talked about it it's so expensive and it can run you anywhere from you know some people some people were like early adopters and they got in there and they're like oh i'm only paying one hundred dollars a month but it can run you between like two hundred fifty like up to one thousand sometimes some people are paying five thousand dollars a month for apple tv plus for apple tv plus yeah it's the most expensive streaming service that's out there it's like.

[B]

Nine ten dollars i don't think so but also if you like buy a phone you get it free for a year yeah isn't that how it i.

[A]

Think so but what i'm supposed to who do you pay i'm supposed to buy a new phone to watch your show like this is just too complicated can i just turn on the tube the boob tube who do you and my friend adam's there on the tv.

[B]

There who do you write a check to when you're paying for your streaming.

[A]

Services i have a friend who comes by and hooks everything up and he.

[B]

Tells me the prices oh okay you don't need anything i want to meet.

[A]

This guy oh yeah yeah he's at.

[B]

The door i believe yeah let him.

[A]

In hey yeah come on in.

[B]

Hi hey what's going on what is your name sir rochester rochester okay no rochester rochester rochester so it's like chester but you're raw rochester rochester rochester rochester rod chester oh rod chester i'm sorry mister chester what's up jerky okay are you one of the jerky boys let me just get this straight are you one of the jerky boys i'm one of the jerky boys jerky oh okay scott sorry sir what's up this is an.

[A]

Honor this is rod rochester where are you from sir rochester okay so your.

[B]

Name is rod chester and you're from rochester rochester okay now you're just saying turkey all right you're frustrated to talk to well wait a second he's gone okay sorry scott did you did you.

[A]

Say what you needed to say to.

[B]

Him i didn't have time to solve.

[A]

Your streaming problem in any case i don't you know i didn't want to watch his show but i i turned it on last night right as the sandman came and sprinkled his little sand all over my eyes and i was drifting off to sleep and i was like no belay that sandman i i want to watch this show i want.

[B]

To appreciate that i want to keep.

[A]

My eyes open and i want to watch the show and i tell you i was captivated oh your character whatever his name might be yeah and then all the other characters whoever they were sure and then that part where the first scene suddenly turned into me talking to my mom and having an argument with her and then she turned into a hairy ogre and then that morphed into like i could tell that she wasn't my mom anymore but she represented my mom but she you know okay.

[B]

Scott i think you may have dozed off while watching what's this now the show you may have fallen asleep i.

[A]

Think you were my mom is not.

[B]

In your show as far as i know she's not in the show you must have just been dreaming this makes.

[A]

More sense because i've been sitting here going like why isn't my mom nominated.

[B]

For all these emmys right cause she was great in your dreams she was.

[A]

Phenomenal i mean honestly you were fine but she was like tearing it up.

[B]

But don't you think it would have come up if your mom was a cast member of the show show i'm.

[A]

On i guess so although you know like there's so much left on set between us you're right you know in any case this was a phenomenal show i was really engaged and but not.

[B]

Enough to throw a vote my way i guess that's all right you know.

[A]

What there i still haven't voted there you could make a difference here and this is why you're on the show by the way you want to let everyone know that television academy how does joe q public how does joe the plumber remember that guy oh do i remember him how does he vote for.

[B]

You for the emmys well so what you're saying is essentially i'm here courting.

[A]

Your vote not only my vote but.

[B]

America'S vote the vote of joe the.

[A]

Plumber that's right you know how the dallas cowboys are america's team oh yeah i like to view you as america's actor oh thanks you know and one where you know you don't have to be from hollywood you don't have to be from santa cruz you don't have to be a candy boy in order to to to to vote for adam this is what like something all peoples and all states can come together and decide like this is our actor this is who we stand behind it's america.

[B]

Coming together and voting for their actor.

[A]

That'S right so how do they vote for you can you and this is part of the reason you're here is to court these votes how does just the dumbest asshole listening to this show.

[B]

How do they vote for you honestly i'm not sure how they go about voting for the emmys is this like a people's choice award maybe it is maybe there's like a toll free number.

[A]

Yeah it's like dancing with the stars.

[B]

Is that what it is would you.

[A]

Ever do dancing with the stars one.

[B]

Hundred percent i've been asking them to have me for years right what star.

[A]

Do you want to dance with ooh.

[B]

That is such a good question that is such a good question oh morgan.

[A]

Fairchild oh i thought you were gonna.

[B]

Say morgan freeman morgan freeman can you.

[A]

Imagine the two of them together can.

[B]

You imagine me and morgan freeman doing ballroom dancing together oh my god that would be amazing i would love to.

[A]

Do that and then morgan freeman taps you on the shoulder and says may.

[B]

I cut in why certainly sir that.

[A]

Would be the first like tap on the shoulder cut in and dancing with the stars history oh yeah it would be would you do the masked singer.

[B]

Oh yeah yeah you're asking me just a bunch of questions that i've already answered yeah yeah i would do them all yeah would you love to what.

[A]

About you're a big survivor fan would you do survivor if they had celebrity version you and ray romano out on an island together why ray raymond why.

[B]

Did that pop i don't know i feel like one of the reasons oh light the fire can i finish my thoughts i apologize i feel like one of the reasons survivor is still cool is that they don't do stuff like that don't you think like celebrities survivor.

[A]

Is very cool and liking it is even cooler i do like when you pop up on the after show sometimes they don't do the after shows anymore.

[B]

I know with budget i did it i was there once it was great.

[A]

I did i i do like it then and then jeff probst pretends not.

[B]

To know you i know he was doing the whole thing and i was like in the corner of the screens it was in the ed sullivan theater.

[A]

As a matter of fact that's right.

[B]

Yeah but now they soon to be shuttered now they do it all they're all on site would you go to.

[A]

Fiji to to be to go participate in the after show just like suddenly the survivors they all crown their winner and they're like oh here's pizza and champagne and by the way adam's here.

[B]

Just cuts to you i would go to fiji one hundred percent to do to do for any reason really yeah.

[A]

Do you want to go vacation there yeah let's go okay bye oh oh no we're going i think we still have approximately one hour left on this show oh okay and then we'll then we'll go make the reservations while we're.

[B]

Doing this i'm already done in any.

[A]

Case i'm still open to voting for you i just need something to make.

[B]

It worth my while i'm gonna spend my the rest of my time here on earth on earth making sure that you cast that vote for me fantastic.

[A]

Now when is this show coming back because i believe season one came out in twenty twenty two season two came out around when the fires hit earlier in the year twenty twenty five is season three twenty twenty eight what's going.

[B]

On it's not going to take quite.

[A]

As long as so twenty twenty seven.

[B]

Well we're you know getting everything going.

[A]

Have you even started yeah for sure like well like what's what's happening right.

[B]

Now they're writing writing what like oh.

[A]

I hope dear diary i hope i can come i hope i can come up with more ideas for this show.

[B]

It'Ll be sooner than it's not going to take as long this time okay.

[A]

But you haven't started filming yet no not filming no but you filmed yourself at home a little bit right oh.

[B]

I filmed myself at home talking about filming so that's something and they're gonna.

[A]

Edit this in and intersperse some of.

[B]

The this is gonna be on the show oh this is right here yeah i'm filming this do you think i'll.

[A]

Be nominated next year probably okay it'll.

[B]

Be twenty eight nominated me and my.

[A]

Mom that's right well severance is out there right now season one season two if you're like me you can watch two episodes of it last night anytime anytime you want that's the thing about.

[B]

Streaming like two pm great sure two thirty pm great why not two forty five pm oh sure i have an appointment oh you can't do yeah three.

[A]

Fifteen pm it's supposed to take twenty five minutes but you know how these things can kind of run over is.

[B]

It is the appointment at home is.

[A]

It a zoom it's a zoom but it's not at home i have to drive to someone's office okay how about.

[B]

Three forty five pm i'm just worried.

[A]

That traffic at that hour is going to be a little bad could we push this to like even i mean four fifteen would be comf how about.

[B]

Four thirty i mean i'm flexible are.

[A]

You is four thirty okay four thirty.

[B]

Is fine but if you're watching more than one episode that's gonna that's gonna run right into something that's gonna run.

[A]

Into early bird at denny's yeah but.

[B]

You know what we can set up a projector and a movie screen at denny's oh okay and figure out a way to stream through the projector okay.

[A]

Usually when i do that the management gets a little upset with me yeah.

[B]

I'Ve called them i figured it out.

[C]

You figured oh okay great yeah if.

[A]

You'Ve cleared it yeah i'm definitely down so we're all set do you want.

[B]

To say four thirty four thirty streaming severance episode three yeah i'll watch episode three why not how about three four.

[A]

Five six seven eight nine one two three four five six seven eight nine.

[B]

Ten yeah stream those at denny's four.

[A]

Thirty pm okay great yeah i only have sixteen more hours to go on.

[B]

This show yeah that's it that's it.

[A]

It'S quite a time commitment sure is you know what i mean like hey my buddy has a show do you want to go watch nineteen hours that's right you know what i mean it's like like i hey my buddy's in madame web yeah i go and i spend an hour and forty five minutes i'm like oh boy i did my part yeah next thing you know he comes up to me and he's like hey i have this tv show watch nineteen hours of this yeah yeah it.

[B]

Is it's like it's like just it's sort of a sacrifice you make for your friends that's true how many episodes.

[A]

Of my tv show did you watch there's one hundred and ten i watched.

[B]

A good amount of those oh yeah.

[A]

That'S nice yeah you were in a.

[B]

Good amount of them i was i was in i think like three or.

[A]

Four of them you were in once per ep or per season you were our good was that really you were yeah and you were in the between two ferns movie and you were in our michael bolton special i remember once.

[B]

I was a janitor in on comedy.

[A]

Bang bang and you fired a gun into the air well adam scott he needs your votes he's he's out there canvassing the neighborhoods trying to get emmy voters to vote for him when i.

[B]

Finish this i'm just going door to.

[A]

Door yeah you're going to topeka next i believe and just trying to get just begging people to vote for him he needs these m's i'm going to.

[B]

Hit every state in the country and.

[A]

Just a real barnstormer we need to take a break if that's okay we have a great show coming up we have an air we have a concerned citizen this is a good show adam.

[B]

Yeah i love citizens that are concerned.

[A]

Yeah okay well we're going to come right back we'll be right back with more adam scott more comedy bang bang we'll be right back after this.

[B]

This.

[A]

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[B]

Seven noms when you say noms sorry to jump in when you say noms phenoms oh okay great thank you yeah.

[A]

Twenty seven phenoms yep including the lead actor the lead actress the supporting actors and a bunch of other shit director ben stiller directs this show yes and he always he makes one zoolander cameo per episode which i thought was really.

[B]

Interesting right yes generous of him he.

[A]

Just does the blue steel right into the camera and walks off you weren't.

[B]

Expecting that when you watched it i.

[A]

Was not i always i just was kind of like oh he'll be behind the camera i view director as a behind the camera job primarily but then i forgot about a little guy named.

[B]

Alfie hitchcock oh man boy did he.

[A]

Step in front the game when it came to directors so yeah for ben stiller to come out and do the blue steel once per episode but then one time he came out and he wasn't doing the blue steel he was doing his tropic thunder character i thought that was really weird because i'd been accustomed to the blue steel like i was used to it by at a.

[B]

Certain point yeah i mean when you're the director and you're calling the shots you can do whatever you want that's.

[A]

The thing it's like a little dictatorship where no one can argue with you.

[B]

Legally yeah no you're protected by the.

[D]

Law.

[B]

And on a film set you can do anything and everything you want.

[A]

That'S right just ask a little guy.

[B]

Named harvey weinstein oh that's right jesus.

[A]

Well let's get to our next guest what a wonderful lead in to our next guest he's an heir and this is exciting i wonder what he is the heir to we'll discuss that at length i'm certain please welcome to the show for the first time bob pbs.

[C]

Hi guys hi guys guys hey.

[A]

This is adam i'm hi adam oh so.

[C]

Nice to meet you i'm i'm a big fan maybe we could sidebar and maybe get you on on some of.

[A]

The programming i'm working on when you say programming now i you're i i i have a little note here i i was going to introduce you as bob poobs no no but it's actually pbs is that what does that stand.

[C]

For it doesn't that's actually my my family name the family that founded the.

[A]

Pbs network oh okay oh i i see this this is the it has downton abbey yes which starts on a a behind view of a dog where you can see its balls ah that.

[C]

That was something i spearheaded uh i'm very proud of that um you should.

[A]

Be i think it's the thing everyone.

[C]

Talks about thank you it's really very exciting that they let us do that my dad let us do that i was trying to push the envelope with.

[A]

That a little do you ever think that sesame street should start with that with like like ernie's balls well that's.

[C]

Actually something pretty pretty open to right now we're a little a little desperate for for funding right now what's going.

[A]

On your funding was cut in half or something i don't keep up with.

[C]

The news necessarily it's been a it's been a little rough time for the the pbs corporation i i'm i've been tasked for my father of running the pbs kids branch of the company and thank you thank you very much that's like gap kids it's like gap kids but but you know just for for cartoons right right we're teaching the kids how to learn all these things we thought we were doing something really good and we got smacked down pretty hard this week we got we got really kicked in the the old dog balls.

[A]

Oh wow what yeah and basically the government is no longer funding your program.

[C]

Yeah the whole thing is coming is collapsing and we're we're we're running out of money pretty quick and how much.

[A]

Money do you have like on hand how much cash is on hand right now oh god.

[C]

Like thirty seven dollars.

[A]

Thirty seven dollars until the whole network runs out of money we are we.

[C]

Are really up against it and so that's why i'm here i'm i'm really here we're we're we're going to we're rethinking the whole thing we're we're going to do a whole new we're launching a new streaming service is this the.

[A]

Right time to launch a new service.

[C]

We got to do it we got to do it we're taking out a lot of debt we're taking out i.

[A]

Guess if you're like apple tv plus like if you get one person willing to pay like a million dollars a year for it i mean it just justifies like we're we're we're not we're.

[C]

Not looking for a million we're looking for anything where you buy a hot dog you will get you will get a free subscription okay to pbs kids any hot dog any hot dog we got deals everywhere pinks pinks we know we got a we got a connection with them but anywhere really really anywhere you get a hot dog that's part.

[B]

Of the gig why don't you guys just have one of your telethons where you ask people for money and people.

[A]

Call these and you get a tote bag or you get like a record of of botticelli or who am i thinking of who sings not botticelli bocelli.

[C]

Or you think botticelli botticelli the painter.

[A]

The painter you can get like a record of him like describing his paintings.

[B]

Yeah that's great everyone has one of.

[C]

Those yeah sure we'll do a telethon we'd love would you adam would you.

[A]

Be on the telethon well i'm not.

[B]

Saying that that's a yes that sounds.

[C]

Like a yes i mean it sounds.

[B]

Like a soft yes very you can consider it an incredibly soft just a limp flaccid yes yeah like a yes mess that's just laying on the ground and barely has a heart this is.

[C]

A big win for me okay okay we got adam as a soft limp.

[A]

Yes okay scott i mean scott i used to have a tv show listen.

[B]

Scott i'll do it if you do.

[A]

It that's that's a lot of money.

[C]

Coming in okay okay i can see our way to the future with something like that yeah we're we're just we're looking to launch a new streaming service.

[A]

Change the new streaming service we're gonna.

[C]

Shorten the name you know you gotta shorten those names okay we're gonna call shorter than pbs shorter than we're gonna call it s kids plus and really.

[B]

Roll off the s kids plus why why why not just stick with pbs kids and then throw a plus on the end people know what pbs is.

[C]

I think i just really i'm watching the market and i'm seeing how how we're relaunching these services that we want to make get quick and snappy that make make people excited to be a.

[A]

Part of us so s kids plus.

[C]

S kids plus maybe you want to call it skids skids plus skids plus that's cool right it's great i guess.

[B]

That'S cool yeah it's really cool okay.

[C]

So thank you and so okay so then we're gonna launch the skids plus.

[A]

And okay wait did we just convince.

[C]

You to no no talking gameplay we're.

[A]

Just talking because it sound it sounded like you were like up in the air about it until we said it.

[C]

Was cool i need approval because we're really i mean we just took it we took it on the chin these last couple of weeks we we they.

[A]

Really humiliate us not not like someone jizzing on your face when you say.

[B]

Took it on the chin i'm so.

[C]

Sorry they don't they they don't they don't play around in this trump administration okay no i'm sorry they called me in they were like what will you do for your funding and i said anything anything and they're like anything and i was like sure yeah anything oh no and then they then they they opened up a hatch in the floor and they was in the floor there.

[A]

Was a trap door there's a trap.

[C]

Door in the white house and they i walked down a long circular staircase and and then oh god oh god eric trump was there oh no eric was not eric's not a good guy no he's not a good guy he's.

[A]

Not like don junior yeah don was terrific done done great poster great guy.

[C]

Don'S a nice fella i have to say nice comparatively comparatively no don's a.

[B]

Nice fella what did eric do.

[C]

They asked if i could bring all the puppets from the sesame workshop you brought.

[A]

Every single puppet a big old truck.

[C]

Of puppets and they were like relinquish them to me they said they said.

[A]

This is a quote relinquish them to.

[C]

Me they said relinquish them to me and so i had to relinquish my parental rights to these to these beloved puppets you adopted the puppets that's that's the puppets have spirits and so you have to treat them have you ever.

[A]

Worked with a puppet i've never worked with a single puppet you have to.

[C]

Treat them like they're real people oh.

[B]

What happens if you don't this the.

[C]

Children who watch can tell that there's no soul and the soul of a puppet is what makes a child feel.

[A]

Magic okay okay all right this makes sense to me so but then you had to relinquish these puppets which is hard and all you're right rights all.

[C]

My parental rights all my parental rights to their spirit okay and then but don that's what that's what that's what.

[A]

Eric wanted he wanted the puppets he.

[C]

Wanted the spirit of the puppets okay.

[B]

So that's what they're after eric is after the puppet spirit so this is.

[A]

Why they're cutting funding to pbs as he wanted all the puppets they were.

[C]

Just had me over a barrel they had me over a barrel that that's.

[A]

What they want literally or figuratively oh.

[B]

No what happened it wasn't good what.

[A]

Happened it wasn't good who who did.

[B]

This to you did they have a barrel down there they have they have.

[C]

A barrel they've got a they've got a big a big desk no they've got a big they have a big desk the render they have a this.

[A]

This sounds like a nightmare just a.

[B]

Room with a barrel and a big desk oh my god and a bunch.

[C]

Of puppies circular staircase at circular staircase.

[A]

Wait wait this is its sixteen hundred.

[C]

Pennsylvania the famous one yeah an address.

[A]

That changes all the rules that's right god and so they have a they.

[C]

Have a giant basement the resolute they have a resolute desk a resolute it's a real resolute desk it's the one.

[A]

It'S a replica upstairs it's a replica.

[C]

Upstairs oh my god because the real one is where the bad things happen.

[A]

No what they what what did they.

[C]

Do and so they eric gets inside snuffleupagus no he gets inside him and.

[A]

Then when you say that what do you mean like inside the costume or he inserts part of his body into.

[C]

Him it's i i this is a terrible thing to say okay but yes yes he he he gets in well you know he wears snuffle up he wears he wears snuffle upagus and then he gets inside me oh no man.

[A]

Yes at that point you were hoping he was imaginary i i i i could see him they changed it by the way because i know we were.

[C]

Wrong we were convincing children to not tell people about sexual assault right and that's wrong we realize that now but.

[A]

It was only for the first thirty.

[C]

Years thirty thirty five forty years the catholic church and us had a program together where we developed snuffle this is.

[A]

A psyop that you and the catholic church since the early seventies we thought.

[C]

It was a good thing we thought that we were convincing kids to try.

[A]

Priests mea culpa in the parlance of.

[C]

The priests that's latin sure and the priests like latin so in any case.

[A]

You'Re down there in the in the basement of the white house basement of the white house hunched over the resolute.

[B]

Desk trying to tell them about skids.

[C]

I'M trying to i'm trying to be like guys we will make whatever work we will make whatever work to keep our funding and they were like this is what we need to keep our.

[A]

Funding oh man wow and but i'm sure that's all that happened under there because it that there couldn't be anything else could there no what happened i.

[C]

Got a call from my wife oh no she's back at home okay where.

[A]

Where'S home by the way delaware and.

[C]

And she's and and i and they're making and then big bird shows up.

[A]

There to your wife's house big bird.

[C]

But that's actually that's actually baron trump trump baron trump's inside big bird i've come to understand now he's tall he's a tall so it fits he's a.

[A]

Big bird he's he's at nyu now so it's not that far of it.

[C]

He has a little little trace he came down he took the biden train as a as a spike train ride no the acela the acela the one that biden loves he loves that train.

[A]

He just as a you just as a you he dresses as big bird.

[C]

Taking the biden train no and he's going down to my wife wife's house where i i live with my wife.

[A]

Where where your wife sleeps my wife.

[C]

Sleeps there i sleep there when when i can i'm pretty busy are you.

[B]

On the road i'm on the road.

[C]

A lot a lot it's a big.

[A]

Gig but you always sleep there even though you're on the road you come.

[C]

Back to sleep i come back i never leave my wife alone at night anyway the facetime comes up as i'm bent over on the resolute desk and.

[A]

You accept a facetime in the middle of this that's my wife you gotta.

[B]

You gotta answer your question just logistically they bend you over the desk not.

[C]

The barrel the barrel they the barrel was a threatening object i knew what it meant and i knew that the possibility it would the possibility of moving.

[B]

Over you don't want to even get.

[C]

Near that thing it's like running man yeah like you're watching in what way is it safe is it safe is.

[A]

That the movie no i think you're thinking marathon man but those are different movies unfortunately wow those are the same.

[B]

Names they could have just wrapped those two up into one i know don't.

[A]

You think i know edgar's new movie i gotta talk to if he comes back on comedy bang bang to promote.

[B]

This could have just been the running.

[A]

Marathon then yeah exactly is it safe.

[C]

I always assume those are the same movies they are quite different wow okay anyway so my wife she facetimes she facetime but it's but it's it's big bird yeah sure and so big bird.

[A]

So you you you're in the middle of getting plowed by snuffleupagus you facetime you expect the trunk with the trunk oh no you didn't even mention that you turn on your facetime you expect your wife's loving face there to give you some solace and instead big bird.

[C]

Is there big bird's having his way.

[B]

With her no oh man yeah no.

[C]

It was bad it was really bad simultaneous and we're watching each other both both get this done to each other it was pretty bad it was pretty bad wow so anyway i thought we'd.

[A]

Save the funding yeah so after all that you would think that you acquiesced to all of this all of it.

[C]

But that's you never give in to a bully because they just learned they.

[B]

Can take more so they didn't write you a check there and then no.

[C]

They actually cut our funding they cut it after that when we finished then they cut the funding because they didn't.

[B]

Respect you that's right that's right yeah.

[A]

This is terrible it was really bad i'm so sorry this happened to you.

[C]

Thank you so and by the way.

[A]

I believe you thank you yeah thank.

[B]

You that's one hundred yeah i know.

[C]

How much you like harvey weinstein and i and so i didn't know if you'd come on here and believe me because you i know you're in the.

[A]

Harvey camp we don't talk about that on mike.

[C]

Okay good anyway thank you.

[A]

In any case i'm so sorry about that so you're trying to get skids plus going we're launching we're launching we're.

[C]

Doing and they're do you have any.

[A]

Other plans to yeah they're dictating the.

[C]

Programming right now they are they are we're gonna do whatever they want wow.

[B]

So we got and full control of the puppets they now have the puppets.

[C]

Are the puppet souls are are under the spell of the the trump boys and yeah so if if they want to do the program the programming is we'll do whatever they want and so.

[A]

So why would i then give money to you if the programming is going to be so bad please give money.

[C]

Please no the program is going to be great the program is going to.

[B]

Be great what is the programming gonna.

[C]

Be okay we got curious george okay.

[A]

He'S he's sure he's a curious little monkey the man with the yellow hat curious george everyone loves he's going to.

[C]

Be working in the diamond mines the man with the yellow hat's going to be the foreman and we're going to be talking a lot about how these new lab grown diamonds are bullshit and how those are not sentimentally valuable and you really do need a monkey mind diamond to have any real value okay.

[B]

This sounds different than the curious george that i grew up with a touch.

[A]

Yeah definitely curious george is going to.

[C]

Like like working in these mines okay he's going to be curious about the diamond industry how much longer can i.

[A]

Work here i'm so curious how much more can i give to the company.

[C]

How how much can i how much.

[A]

Capital can i provide how much does.

[C]

This company need to fulfill its mission of getting de beers diamond onto every woman's finger in the world like i.

[B]

Don'T need much money as far as my salary goes but i just want want the company to to flourish yes.

[C]

Exactly the joy of seeing a company.

[A]

Succeed in this country taking pride in.

[C]

That take and and not feeling like.

[A]

Your life was wasted because you worked for one company for several years that's.

[C]

Correct you the the monkey lifespan is actually perfectly designed for the lifespan of.

[A]

A diamond mine really what is the lifespan of a monkey i've never quite been able to figure that out forty.

[C]

Years and then most most minds will tap out about thirty to forty years okay and so it's actually pretty perfect.

[A]

That a monkey so if you can get like monkeys right when they're born.

[C]

Right when they're born and then and then never let them see the daylight because that the daylight is one of the things that convinces them they want.

[A]

Freedom got it got it you like.

[B]

This right yeah no this is great.

[A]

Because i've seen your smile the little.

[B]

Baby monkeys those can be fun puppets with puppet spirits yes puppet spirits and you and the and each season can be one year and those forty year.

[C]

Time yeah and then you're growing up.

[A]

With my favorite show bill maher yeah in real time yeah we're watching bill maher grow yeah we saw him as a little real time with bill maher is one of the only shows that is actually you know the simpsons they all stay the same age we're watching bill maher get progressively older and older and more decrepit it's a beautiful single week wow it's beautiful like boyhood it's like bill maher have you ever wanted to watch boyhood starring bill maher instead of ethan hawke oh i love it what about elmo what's going on with.

[C]

Elmo okay elmo he's obviously he like.

[A]

You know if you rearrange the letters in elmo it spells mole.

[C]

Loam too.

[A]

Yeah also m moo yep elon musk yeah omel o mel omel what ann bancroft used to scream in the throes.

[B]

Of lovemaking loam did we do loam.

[A]

Yet i think loam was said all.

[C]

Right we can do it again yeah.

[B]

Let'S do that one again loam loam.

[A]

Yeah i had him yeah that's fun.

[C]

And bancroft screaming loam oh loam loam yeah no elmo's elmo's gonna be well elmo's you ever heard of a pink.

[A]

Sock i mean sock that you can make a puppet out of do you.

[C]

Mean no when your is turned outside your body oh the prolapsed anus the.

[A]

Prolapsed anus okay so elmo's gonna what.

[C]

Now elmo.

[A]

Was that was that a.

[C]

Different subject or elmo elmo is elmo is is a will be the sex slave of sultans we're being sponsored by dubai and we're getting a lot of money from from overseas okay and so we're really excited to take any any sort of sponsorship and and so there's a couple people that have a real um furry fetish and we're going to we absolutely have to cater to that that okay so elmo elmo is available.

[A]

For for any kind of you can rent elmo out essentially you can rent.

[C]

You can turn elmo out okay yeah.

[A]

Wow and that's okay you can turn him inside out you can turn him.

[C]

Inside out and he will giggle his way through all of it wow so it's okay he is so cute he's.

[A]

So cute i'm looking forward to this.

[B]

Actually and he's red which is great for the trump folks exactly yeah exactly.

[C]

He'S gonna he's gonna to be part of their campaign maybe okay this is.

[A]

Incredible i mean this doesn't sound half bad honestly i i might subscribe to.

[B]

Skids plus thank you i'm not only subscribed but i feel like you're asking us for a bit more money than that right bit more than a subscription.

[C]

I look i i mean i i can't help i'm in this beautiful how.

[A]

Much how much will get you back up on your feet okay scott i'm.

[B]

Moment of truth i'm in your home.

[C]

I'M in i'm in the recording studio yeah i did look around yeah while you were looking elsewhere i see what you have yeah okay i come i.

[A]

Came by the way all my guests can take one thing from my house every time anytime we tape an episode all my guests get to take one.

[C]

Thing i appreciate you saying that i'm taking this safe oh no not my.

[B]

Safe the safe you just said you can take anything can i empty the.

[A]

Safe beforehand or i'm holding it i'm.

[C]

Holding it and i will i whatever's inside i'm trusting is valuable not my cougarrans that's those are the most valuable.

[A]

Things not the deeds to all my.

[C]

Properties yeah okay well i appreciate you telling me what's inside because now i will be able to auction it off cougarrans are still very valuable what are cougarrans south african doubloons yeah thank you.

[A]

So much for explaining what i was just about to explain because i know what they are just as as well.

[C]

As you know obviously yeah that's where that's where they hit all the money in when they were looting the country.

[B]

Fantastic it's good stuff how did you get your hands on them scott oh.

[A]

You know just various shell games and and companies behind companies and you know i mean well enjoy the safe i mean you don't have the combination unfortunately but.

[C]

Adam yeah do you know the combination you're his good friend.

[B]

Hey yeah scott what's up don't tell him the combination okay i know you know it i do know it it's my favorite numbers i know six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six six nine six nine six nine six nine but and you six sorry three more six nine six nine six nine but then there was that time that i came over and we were drinking four locos twisted tea and we got super blazed yeah and on top of the twisted teas yeah so we were drunk and super stoned right yeah like us with marijuana yeah that's one of my favorite memories and we decided to alter the combination oh and i totally forgot about that and we added eight more six nines oh that's right it's six six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine six nine yes right so oh you don't want me to tell yeah don't tell him okay adam yeah hey what's up scott can't hear us i'm desperate i i'm i'm i'm getting that i'm really desperate okay is is there anything you can tell me i'll guess it okay i'll.

[C]

Guess if you give me a clue.

[B]

I'Ll give you a hint okay cuz i can't betray my friend okay okay what you you call it when a mommy and a daddy a mom sorry a mommy and a daddy sorry i'm listening or oh hey scott what what's going on i'm not telling him to go you should give me a hint you're not going to no no no thank you thank you for give him a juicy hint when a mommy in it jh or just at i'm just giving you a jh here super quick what what do you call it when a mommy and a daddy or two daddies or two mommies you know when you're in bed with someone and you're like let's play it safe i'll put my head at the end of the bed you put your head on the pillow just so nothing happens but this.

[A]

Is almost.

[C]

This is how did they.

[A]

Start as an accident this is how.

[B]

Sixty nine ing was invented oh you.

[A]

Just said why oh i'm so sorry.

[B]

What the dude i've betrayed our friendship.

[A]

You betrayed our friendship is it twenty.

[C]

One sixty nine s in a row.

[A]

Yes damn it yeah whoa scott i'm so sorry that's okay that's okay all right go ahead thank you so much.

[C]

With the saves all my valuables this is great oh my god you're really going to make a difference and i'm telling you america's children will thank you for saving pbs if it's for the children it's for the children then that's all right it's great it's really great.

[B]

It'S for skids plus.

[A]

Well gosh bob i'm glad i was able to help.

[C]

Out this is great anyone who's listening.

[A]

Subscribe to skids plus yep and we need to take a break if that's okay when we come back we have a concerned citizen so this is i mean this is a great show already.

[B]

Yeah a lot of civic minded people.

[A]

Yes exactly we're going to be right back we're going to have more bob pbs more adam scott we'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this this is an ad by better help have you ever had a problem in your life and your out there looking for advice instead of asking a professional or a friend you go online and you try to figure out what the problem is computer problems sometimes that can help these days it seems like there's advice for everything from cold plunges to gratitude journals screen detoxes but how do you know what actually works for you well with the internet and information overload about mental health and wellness it can be a struggle to know what's true and what actions to take these days while using trusted resources and talking to live therapists can get you personalized recommendations and help you break through the noise with over thirty thousand therapists betterhelp is the world's largest online therapy platform having served over five million people globally it's convenient too you can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button plus switch therapists anytime you want as the largest online therapy provider in the world betterhelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise talk it out with betterhelp our listeners get ten percent off their first month at betterhelp dot com bang bang that's better h e l p dot com bang bang you know in between busy schedules and summer plans surfboarding etcetera you know sometimes all you've got is a couple of minutes right factor helps you eat smarter in those couple of minutes with tasty chef prepped meals that are dietitian approved and delivered right to your door and now with more than sixty five weekly meals made for how you live and what you like to eat you've got even more ways to fit in a real meal whenever and wherever the day takes you whatever wherever shakira and for the first time try asian inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by china thailand and more now i've talked about this before we got a little test run of factor when they started advertising on the show and we stuck around we pay for it every week we love it they're really easy to make just like three minutes in the microwave if that's how you choose to do it and the new asian meals i don't need to tell you in this house in this house we eat them in any case eat smart at factormeals dot com bang bang fifty off and use code bang bang fifty off to get what else fifty percent off plus free shipping on your first box that's code bang bang fifty off at factor meals dot com for fifty percent off plus free shipping get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with factor do crohn's disease symptoms keep coming back tremphya giselcomab may help at twelve weeks rapid symptom remission was achieved in most patients taking tremphya and some experienced visible improvement of their intestinal lining at twelve weeks and one year.

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Individual results may vary tremphya is a.

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Prescription medicine used to treat adults with.

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Moderately to severely active crohn's disease serious.

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Allergic reactions and increased risk of infections and liver problems may occur before treatment your doctor should check you for infections and tb tell your doctor if you have an infection flu like symptoms or if you need a vaccine explore what's possible and ask your doctor about tremphya today call one eight hundred five two six seven seven three six to learn more or visit tremphyaradio dot com comedy bang bang we're back adam scott of severance fame hi you got got who's in this severance you got.

[B]

Zach cherry zach cherry of course the aforementioned yeah there's nothing we can do about it.

[A]

No at this point i mean you could i guess in the writing right now because from what i was told i heard this somewhere it's like maybe hollywood gossip but the third season of severance is being written right now and like page one episode one what's zach's.

[B]

Character'S name dylan like like bob dylan he played he's playing bob dylan he.

[A]

Plays bob dylan in severance this is like a chalamet kind of sequel or.

[B]

Something you didn't catch that watching the first two eps i mean i know.

[A]

When he was holding up the this the cards that had the lyrics right on it and he wasn't lip syncing i was kind of like oh this.

[B]

Is kind of remarkable but you were thinking in excess probably yeah exactly in.

[A]

Any case you could just write like page one fade in dylan chokes on a peanut keels over dies does he.

[B]

Have a tiny esophagus or a giant.

[A]

Peanut either one oh yeah whatever makes the audience feel like oh okay yeah.

[B]

This this i guess maybe it's a mister peanut like phone yeah oh okay.

[A]

Yeah no problem yeah sure and you could you could set that up at the end of you just go back and reshoot the last episode yeah yeah of season two and just have him like get a big mister peanut phone in the mail and go my phone.

[B]

Arrives oh my god i have it.

[A]

I want to eat this yeah that's.

[B]

It that's a good okay that's a.

[A]

Good in any case wonderful show twenty seven noms how many do you have to win in order to feel like yeah this is worth it all the.

[B]

Press i'm doing it's never the hole the gaping hole in my soul will never be filled that's right you know.

[A]

How it is yeah what happened with with with not only you but me in order to have this hole that just makes us continue to do this job which just treats us like shit.

[B]

It'S just it's.

[A]

Show business is just a cruel cruel mistress and yet we try to please her every single day.

[B]

Of our lives and she keeps just turning her nose up at us if you know what i mean yeah exactly.

[A]

So you know i don't know why we do it but something obviously something happened in our childhoods right or at least you know before eighteen yeah or.

[B]

Like between eighteen and nineteen yeah like the third month of eighteen yeah between.

[A]

Eighteen and forty five the demo right.

[B]

Yeah exactly something like that everything happens within that demo of when you matter.

[A]

As a human being that's right males.

[B]

Eighteen to forty five that's the only period of time in your life that.

[A]

Matters in any case no we're just happy to be in any case severance twenty seven noms watch the emmys on what are we talking september eleventh september.

[B]

Why do you keep pulling that date up in the middle of september definitely.

[A]

In the middle of september yep yep and just watch the emmys and see everything that goes down that's right and adam you of course on our other show you talking u two to me you pledged that were you ever to win the oscar you would get up on stage accept it hold it aloft and say i'm going to shove this.

[B]

Up my butt i sure did i.

[A]

Made that pledge and will you do the same with the emmy or well.

[B]

This is a much different circumstance and a much bigger award much bigger differently.

[A]

Shaped award so not going to happen i guess no okay understand we also have bob pbs here heir to the pbs four thanks for having me and he's really relaxed ah feeling really good.

[C]

I got i got looking through your safe and finding all sorts of childhood mementos and i'm just that's going to.

[A]

Take it doesn't mean anything i'm a grown ass man now i don't need.

[B]

Anything also there's a giant hole in your heart yeah oh yeah that's right.

[C]

I'M finding a there's a sled in.

[A]

Here that's right.

[B]

Bob do you think this is these goodies you're finding do you think it's going to help out.

[C]

I mean there's there's like i said there's the krugerrands there's deeds to all sorts of estates this is going to really make a real dent in our funding and i think it's going to.

[A]

There'S also blackmail material in there for me so why are you pointing that out oh oh oh oh maybe i shouldn't but yeah there's check out that file the manila whoa folder there yeah.

[C]

Who'S this mister oswald character that you.

[A]

Seem to be friends with mister oswald yeah he's just a he's an old friend and you know there's pictures descriptions all sorts of stuff so you can just blackmail me whenever you want and i don't want any of that stuff to come out out so oh i've.

[C]

This this guy seems to know the.

[A]

Kennedys yeah oh yeah oh yeah he knows all of them quite well yeah the mtv vj is who you're talking.

[C]

About right kennedy the kennedys the multiple.

[A]

Kennedys yeah there are like three of.

[C]

Her yeah she's like the ultra warrior yeah yeah yeah kennedy one kennedy would die they'd replace it with more kennedy.

[A]

Well we have to get to our next guest and a lot of times on comedy bang bang look the new tagline of the show adam you haven't been around for new tag it used to be the show where we talked to interesting people then it was humanity's podcast then it changed into humanity and the animal kingdoms podcast but now the tagline for the show is comedy bang.

[B]

Bang we care oh i love that.

[A]

Yeah and we truly do we care about you individually as listeners but we also care about the issues of the day and so we have a concerned citizen on the show to sort of air his or her grievances today please welcome for the first time on the show dim not dim jim del monte.

[D]

How you doing how you doing scott hey jim del monte yeah you can also call me jumbotron jim or jimbotron and i am concerned i have some.

[A]

Concerns jumbotron jim yeah yeah is a.

[D]

Nickname or it's a name that i'm trying to get going with people oh okay for being on jumbotron you've been.

[A]

On a jumbotron i had been on.

[D]

A jumbotron before i'd been on a jumbotron six and a half times in the last what was the halftime you.

[A]

Know or was it during well you know and that's why you say it's.

[D]

No and that's very funny you're a funny guy you're very funny guys the reviews are in yes no you know when when they put the dance cam on you know on you know it's a timeout and the dance cam goes.

[B]

On and you're talking about at a sporting event yeah yeah at a sporting.

[A]

Event sure not when you're disappointing your.

[D]

Children no no no no you put.

[A]

Them in timeout and then you put a dance cam on no i never.

[D]

No i no i i no i.

[A]

Don'T i don't see my purpose you don't see your children how many children do you have i have two and why don't you see them they don't.

[D]

Want to see me right now because of this unfortunate event actually oh okay.

[A]

What what happened well what happened was.

[D]

And this is why i'm here because you seem in a very giving mood today giving pbs money nominations anything else.

[A]

By the way from the oh i didn't realize that you can take my you can take my vote oh he.

[B]

Could take your vote and throw it my way you could take my vote.

[A]

I could take your vote you get to take something from my house too you're on the show take his emmy.

[B]

Take his emmy oh i'm taking you.

[A]

Guys well you guys i point those.

[B]

Out to you thanks mister pbs you're.

[D]

Welcome used to it just taken from i don't want to take from you.

[A]

Scott you're not gonna take no well.

[D]

I want if you want to give.

[A]

I do want to give anything you.

[D]

Want i don't want to take okay well but i hear my story maybe.

[A]

You know what jim del monte i would like to hear your story jim.

[D]

It'S a very it's a classic story so i'm at the philadelphia seventy six ers game in philadelphia in philadelphia at the wells fargo center and are you from philadelphia i'm from new york and philadelphia and that's where this kind of.

[A]

When you say you're from both of.

[D]

These places well i was born in philadelphia and then six months later my father absconded with me to to philadelphia.

[A]

When you say the word absconded he.

[D]

Took me yeah he took me there without my mother's permission okay and he.

[A]

Kept you there yeah he kept me there have you seen your mother since.

[D]

You were haven't seen her haven't seen her haven't wanted to haven't thought about it it's not has nothing has had.

[A]

No effect on me oh okay great.

[D]

Yeah yeah so i have this thing where i need to be on jumbotrons you know i got i need to be seen on them and i think the people need to see me okay so i'm at a sixers game and you know the sixers are not a great team so they really need the fans to get into it and i'm dancing and i'm doing i'm doing the running man the marathon no it's the running man not the marathon man but i always get them confused right and then this person starts flossing into my.

[A]

Shot oh no the the dance yeah.

[D]

She'S doing she's flossing so and so then it becomes kind of a i'm sharing the cam and you shouldn't have to share the cam when it's yeah.

[B]

When it's on you it's on me.

[A]

It would seem like normally when i see a dance cam they have like one person that's right and then they cross fade to a different person that.

[D]

Crossfade exactly and then if the audience loves you they'll go back to you and the audience really likes me i really run hard and i do you know i really give my whole do.

[B]

You always do the running man i.

[D]

Do no i have popped and locked before it depends on what the song is and what the bpms are okay.

[A]

What was this song that was playing.

[D]

This was hammer don't hurt him they're.

[A]

Playing hammer don't hurt him yes playing.

[D]

Hammer don't hurt him i don't even.

[A]

Think this was a single i think it was the title of that they.

[D]

Were playing deep cuts okay this is a sixers game i gotta mind you this is they're bombing at this point the sixers this is the process ever.

[A]

Six so however good the team is doing that's well that's the songs they.

[D]

Can afford because you know you have to pay you have to the royalty it's a royalty situation and hammer is.

[C]

So hard up that hammer don't hurt him is the only thing that we got playing on pbs kids so it's.

[D]

Really no he's everywhere it's and everyone's heard it so one thing leads to another and the person who i'm in a dance now competition with falls over.

[A]

When you say one thing leads to another did you push this it's not.

[D]

These are not important details it's not.

[A]

Okay i'll take your word for it.

[D]

So she falls over well over the.

[A]

Ledge oh no that's the worst place.

[D]

To fall but she falls into a luxury box box a luxury box so.

[A]

Did it have an awning like those new york city kind of no there.

[D]

Was no awning there were a lot.

[A]

Of hot plates and hot plates on top of the box now in the.

[D]

Box you know the hot dog dogs and the cheesesteaks and and hot dogs.

[A]

That'S good for you she hurt yeah whoa yeah that's some descriptions right there.

[C]

Oh that's exciting okay yeah well well.

[D]

Not so exciting for me because she was hurt a little bit and there.

[A]

Was she scalds her she she breaks.

[D]

Both of her legs and and and her her mouth her teeth like went through her upper lip it was bad and and it was gruesome and the game had to be stopped stopped the players were crying the players they were all crying well one tyrese maxey started to cry and then he's so adorable.

[A]

And lovable everyone just kind of people kind of just just from two broken legs and a couple there was blood.

[B]

Everywhere everywhere way up in a luxury.

[D]

Box well the luxury box if you i don't know if you've ever been one mister actor yeah no i mean i'm just saying they're they're on the first level but they're just just above.

[A]

They'Re they're on the first level and they're angled slightly to where things run downhill and you can really see it.

[B]

Yeah so the blood everyone could see.

[D]

And of course now the camera that was once on me doing the running man the hammer don't hurt him is now on this girl right and they're shooting i'm like don't shoot it come.

[B]

Back anyway and get on you because.

[D]

The song is still going at this point and now i'm kind of hitting my my stride if you will anyway.

[A]

Without her in the shot suddenly like.

[D]

Like yes and as you know so when something terrible like this happens you someone is a scapegoat and they found.

[A]

One i'm so sorry so you blamed for all of this for whatever reason.

[D]

Because i was dancing next to this child she was a child i'm sorry she was a child is that important.

[A]

I think that's important information i mean.

[D]

Okay but she's old enough to know not to get into your your shot.

[B]

You know sounds like a potential skids.

[C]

Plus i'm i would like to meet this lady this little girl and she's.

[D]

A liar and don't believe anything her.

[C]

Family says susie in the lawsuit this.

[D]

Is a show no okay well or the show is get jimbo back on into the wells fargo center because i.

[A]

Have now been banned you've been banned from the whole center from the whole.

[D]

Center all events sixers flyers concerts billy.

[A]

Joel comes can't come what other events i mean you got the sixers the flyers concerts is it anything else happen.

[D]

Yeah you can do ringling brothers comes.

[A]

Every year do they really oh interesting.

[D]

I like to go something on ice.

[A]

Happens right oh billy graham preaching billy.

[D]

Graham every other year sure he's great.

[C]

Still got it he's dead hey bob he's dead i know that for a.

[B]

Fact did donald trump ever do a.

[D]

Rally there donald trump he did it in the parking lot but i can no longer go in those as well.

[A]

You can't even go in the park.

[D]

Five hundred feet five hundred feet can.

[A]

You believe this five hundred feet that.

[D]

Is that okay is that okay to.

[C]

Anyone football fields it's probably a bunch.

[A]

Of other no that's one football one and it's not a lot of football field one and two thirds football fields.

[B]

Yeah i'm still curious about the incident itself because you kind of there's nothing.

[D]

Really to what what okay please i'd love to walk you through it i.

[B]

Mean i'm just wondering about the the part where she fell off the ledge did you push her do we have.

[A]

Evidence of this on tape what happened.

[C]

It would seem that it would be on a on the jumbotron you just.

[D]

Can'T believe anything you see on on.

[B]

On tapes on jumbotrons your name is.

[D]

No but the jumbotron is gone that was a one time thing so now you just go on youtube and yeah.

[A]

So this is all on youtube but.

[D]

It'S doctored it's doctored you know the camera it's not it's it's ai it's.

[B]

Ai it could be it could be.

[D]

Ai it could be ai i mean that's what's taking over pbs right and ai is going to write you shouldn't like ai either it's going to write.

[B]

Your sentences right right it's going to.

[A]

Write the whole third season is that what you said when they're writing it they're just putting it through chatgpt yeah.

[B]

That'S what i meant oh okay yeah.

[D]

Chatgpt is all over oh is that.

[B]

Ai is chatgpt ai i think so.

[D]

Yeah yeah he's the biggest one chatgpt is the biggest ai he's he's the biggest ai he's ai and now you know he's writing all the sessions allen iverson you know but no longer can.

[A]

I see him he's a sixer okay i'll take your word for it but.

[D]

But so you take my word for it that's what i'm asking you to do it's pretty simple look i'll take.

[A]

Your trust one thing and that's alan iverson being a that's fine playing for who the sixers the sixers okay sure i'll take your word for that but quite honestly your story beggars belief i i i think that you here's what i think i think you were jealous that this little girl how old is this little girl it's not important seven seven year old little girl got into your jumbotron but a big girl and.

[D]

She was flossing she was she was.

[B]

Flossing uncontrollably okay she's seven years old.

[D]

She'S swinging her hands around i'm sorry.

[A]

This is a fun dance to do.

[D]

Yeah when i was seven i was trying to dig a hole out of my father's basement what oh not important.

[C]

Okay can i ask yeah bob anything you want bob do you think you're so obsessed with being on the jumbotron because you're hoping your mommy will find.

[D]

You what are you talking about that's.

[A]

Insane why have you heard of it is your mom a sixers fan do you remember anything about that.

[D]

Yeah you know she liked the nba she liked.

[A]

The national basketball association she liked the.

[D]

National basketball association you know okay she.

[A]

Liked alan iverson she she was a iverson fan she loved him she loved him so you go to these games you don't i mean you only lived in philadelphia for six months out of your life you're born in or raised in new york rather yeah that's right you say the word use or yes instead of you that's how you say use so you're real new york i guess so you have no connection to philadelphia other than a lot of connection.

[D]

I i'm i and people come to the games to see me on the jumbotron that's my connection i i give something to the people i'm sorry do you do you have no connection to your fans or the severance peoples or to the pb i have a connection.

[B]

To the severance people but yeah scott does is that why are you saying that's why people come to sixers games i'm saying you on the jumbotron maybe.

[D]

Not on the nose that but but i think yes yes it's part i think that the enjoyment of the games has gone down exponentially and people have.

[A]

Told me that jim yes why not just figure out what your original name was and call your mother what do you think your original because your name is jim del monte this is obviously a fake name that your father adopted in order to elude capture yeah that's the can of beans yeah it's the.

[D]

Can of peach it's really the peaches.

[A]

He loves peaches were there any clues at your house as to what your original name might be no i i.

[D]

There was it was sixers paraphernalia everywhere it was everywhere just everywhere everywhere everywhere bathroom oh kidding me i peed into.

[A]

A hoop wow were you supposed to do that yeah it was because it.

[B]

Might just be like above the time.

[A]

Waster oh it was above the toilet.

[D]

No it's right above the toilet no all right no the time waster was the the trash bed the trash bin.

[C]

I would throw things at okay but.

[D]

The hoop was right over the hoop.

[A]

Was right over the toilet and it.

[D]

Really it was a mess too yeah.

[A]

What about for poopoo poo poo was.

[D]

Awful but i had i developed strong.

[A]

Core strong calves too yeah.

[C]

On the.

[A]

Toilet was it regulation.

[B]

It was about.

[D]

Five feet above no five inches sorry i do the feet yard thing again.

[A]

Okay got it yeah it was so five inches above the actual rim of.

[D]

The rim but that but that's a lot when you're talking about bending over anything if you you go into a restaurant and it's like a little bit different you're like whoa yeah five inches is you're basically you know pooping on.

[A]

Mars so in any case sixers paraphernalia ever maybe your original name was like like joe sixer joe sixer i don't.

[D]

Know yeah i don't really scott i don't think you know much about basketball that's fine but and that's really i.

[A]

Have to know about basketball to guess.

[D]

What you're probably you know it just might be it's possible that it was a you know a sixer player is my real father wow interesting i'm thinking.

[A]

Who are the famous sixer players in history there's allen iverson i know that.

[D]

For a fact yeah he was too.

[B]

Young doctor doctor j doctor j i was sure i was gonna be wrong about that you got it you both.

[A]

Were right we you doctor j is your real father it's been rumored oh.

[D]

There'S been rooms going around so your.

[A]

Your real name might be irving well.

[D]

What do you think the j came.

[B]

From jim wait you said this rumor has been going around where has this rumor been going around i'm mostly in.

[D]

My head but i also there's there's two reddit threads yeah that one i started and one that i did not.

[A]

Start are you black yeah if you'll forgive us you don't look no yeah not even yeah not one bit but.

[B]

That can happen that can happen like.

[C]

He'S right you've got hidden black i.

[D]

Don'T think that's what you can call it i don't think you can call.

[A]

It hidden black i don't i don't know i think we i look like.

[D]

My mother who looks like michael chiklis.

[A]

Your mother looks like michael chiklis you.

[D]

Think like a like a more beautiful.

[A]

Michael chickless more beautiful yeah how can.

[B]

You get more beautiful than michael chickless.

[D]

Sorry but it's hard to it's an.

[A]

Attractive man but you don't you don't remember your mother very no i i don't i don't remember in your mind though she looks like a beautiful michael chick who's a sixers fan and dating one of the white players i would.

[D]

Think maybe but we don't know because you could that can happen as we've established it can happen i get can happen but it also yes i could be jeff hornisek's son i guess i don't yeah he's white he was white.

[A]

He was white what is he now.

[D]

He'S white today he still is he's white today he's white today but anyway i'd love to get back doing what i'm supposed to be doing that's what i'm saying these details i don't know why we're talking about my mother well.

[B]

What about finding a new basketball arena.

[A]

To jumbo tron you live in new.

[C]

York why why do you get there.

[A]

Yeah just go to madison square garden or whatever do they play there they.

[B]

Call it the garden for sure do they really yeah that's so cool yeah.

[D]

That is that's beautiful well i i have tried philadelphia is out for me.

[B]

Yeah sounds like it i tried to.

[D]

Get into to a villanova game i guess the ai technology they know your.

[A]

Face oh really so they'll just stop you right at the door now yeah.

[D]

They throw cold water on that right away and so yeah i could go to to i could go to the garden i guess but you know i don't know that the right people would.

[A]

See it maybe we'll play there someday.

[B]

Yeah they do play there scott that's.

[D]

An interesting maybe you do know more.

[A]

About basketball than i thought i mean they will i have a rudimentary grasp yeah no of of the fact that.

[D]

Teams played you give yourself enough credit i had not even considered that but maybe i could just go to away games for the sixers sure every sixers.

[A]

Away game sure do you think your mother might be in the that's not.

[D]

Important to me it's more about the feelings but it's possible that my mother.

[A]

What happened to this gentleman who has been acting as your father all these.

[B]

Years.

[D]

What has happened to him he's a great man and he's in prison right now for a little bit he's.

[C]

A great man you were trying to escape from his basement but it was.

[D]

A basement of love love and and.

[A]

But you were trying to escape the loving basement yeah just to get food.

[B]

Oh man this doesn't sound like a great man did you turn him in.

[D]

I didn't turn him in per se but when i ran from the home and it was covered in my own you know feces yeah you know sure.

[A]

Why why did you cover yourself in.

[D]

Your own feces warm mostly i think but but but also i i was i had gone i had gone a little crazy i guess a little bit i had created stories in my head that were not true about him which i'd love to get him out too that would be the second thing is like to to to bring justice to my to my father who's not jeff hornacek or allen iverson but the the the important thing is is i'm okay now good good and my my dad great and my dad is is doing.

[A]

Great right yeah you sound like you both i'm okay you're okay yeah it's.

[B]

Not you sound like i'm a okay.

[A]

Your thumbs are extended upwards i'm a.

[D]

Real yay guy i just want to.

[A]

Get back you just want to get.

[D]

Back where you from in front of the big screen which i'm sure you.

[C]

Can relate to you know you could.

[A]

Just buy a camera and a projector.

[B]

You can buy a jumbotron yeah i'm.

[A]

Selling them actually i have one over there if you just want to take a jumbotron that could be your thing that you take with you yeah i.

[D]

Really wanted your connections in hollywood to get me back in but now i can just get it yeah just take.

[A]

The jumbo truck i'll take the jumbo.

[B]

Truck you could just put a camera on yourself all day long yeah yeah.

[D]

That'S not a bad idea but i don't know that important people would see.

[A]

It you know what fasten it to the top of your van or your car it's a van it's a van i assumed it was an ipanola yeah i figured it was and then just broadcast yourself on the jumbotron drive around the streets of philadelphia and eventually your mother will go see it.

[D]

That hadn't occurred to me that i could well.

[A]

That'S why we're here because at comedy bang bang we care you really helped.

[D]

You really helped the citizen here hey.

[A]

You know what you were a concerned citizen and now you're an unconcerned citizen because i've solved your problem i'm no longer concerned that's what we do here at comedy bang bang we did it adam beautiful wow we helped one person.

[B]

We we helped two people i'm i'm.

[C]

I'M rich again oh that's right yeah.

[A]

I forgot about i'm poor too you help two people hey adam we're a team here thank you yeah we got.

[C]

Adam and emmy he hasn't put his.

[D]

He hasn't put his vote in yet.

[A]

He might get you that might be your one thing that you take with you is my vote well guys we are running out of time unfortunately we do have time for one final feature though and that is of course a little something called plugs well it's plugs for me and not for the why don't you take your plugs and put em on the shelf.

[C]

It'S pl's for.

[A]

Me and not for thee you can promote your stupid project somewhere else.

[B]

Somewhere.

[C]

Else.

[A]

Ah that was gorgeous that was somewhere else by the corn sweat quartet thank you so much if you have a plugs theme head over to cbb world dot com plugs and you can upload your songs there you can find all of everything you would need for remixes everything you need is right there all right guys what are we plugging adam obviously severance severance is on apple tv plus that's right and it could be on skids plus yeah listen at.

[D]

Five thousand a month i can't afford.

[B]

It yeah you know what one hot.

[C]

Dog you get severance on skids plus this sounds like a good deal it's.

[B]

A great deal you get a hot dog anywhere in the world any severance.

[A]

On skids plus and bob pbs what do you want to plug here well.

[C]

Obviously skids plus kids skids plus or whatever you want to call it and just make sure to you know just send me send me all of your children's hopes and dreams and do you.

[A]

Have any licensing deals for any movies that'll be on skids plus cliff clifford anything in theaters right now that you want people to see before it hits.

[D]

Handing this to you buddy i wanted.

[C]

I wanted i mean i heard the new naked gun movies good oh yeah.

[D]

You heard that too i heard the.

[A]

New naked gun movie heard this as.

[D]

Well it's the only other place i want to go i don't want to be on the screen when i'm seeing naked gun i want to watch let the screen come to me be up.

[A]

On the screen during that movie was.

[D]

Something else a laugh riot i saw.

[B]

That movie too you guys it's fantastic yeah it's really we all saw it.

[A]

Would it hurt the movie though to occasionally during the movie turn the camera back on the crowd and i just.

[C]

Think there wasn't enough of director showing up being like hey it's me doing.

[A]

The blue steel into the yeah why didn't akiva do the blue steel into the ca who knows this point next time next time all right what do we got here oh this is very exciting we have a new series of action figures comedy bang bang action figures we're releasing them they're coming this september we have six that we're announcing and two will be shipped out in september let's see we have this series two figures entrepreneur italiano jones reggie watts forval dalton wilcox and jason mantzoukas all of this is coming soon entrepreneur and italiano jones action figures are now available for pre order at figurecollections dot com they'll be shipping out in september and also we still have randy snuts and carissa big sue sprague the whisperer jw stillwater and scott aukerman figures this is available for customers worldwide at figurecollections dot com with free shipping with the us address or in europe with cheaper import fees at action figureseller dot com these are these look really good i'm really excited about these and if you've been collecting them you know how great these are all right let's close up the old plug bag open up the plug.

[B]

Twenty.

[A]

Five you got you got you got dude dude.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

Dude all right that was plug in the jungle by sasha natasha thanks so much for that remix and guys i want to thank you adam great to see you you too man we ever going to do any more of our podcasts we have to all right very good we are legally required yes we both got into a car accident and instead of doing traffic school yeah we had to to do this podcast so and we're almost done we only have two thousand five hundred more hours to go on it is that right that's right all right we'll see you soon and then bob pbs good luck to you thank you enjoy everything in the safe it's bringing me.

[C]

Peace i'm seeing some of your childhood mementos yes i'm gonna sell those oh.

[A]

Okay yeah no problem yeah it's yours and hey jim enjoy this jumbotron thank.

[D]

You thank you for the idea and i think i can't wait to meet.

[A]

My mother that's right i can't wait to meet your mother you can turn this into a tv series how i met my mother instead of how i met your mother it's how i met.

[B]

My mother it's a great idea fantastic.

[A]

Idea and adam you can star in.

[B]

This oh can i on skids on.

[A]

Skids on skids plus how i how i love my mommy it's how i.

[D]

Love my mommy help me find my.

[A]

Mommy help me find my mommy and love her yeah sure all right we'll see you next time thanks bye bye these days you've got two choices buying a new car or making the one you've got run like new we know which one we choose that's why at firestone complete auto care we have thousands of ase certified technicians nationwide trained to spot an issue with your car before it becomes a problem no matter the make or model get more out of your car firestone complete auto care call or go online at firestoneauto dot com to book today adam pali here and i'm john gabris we're a couple actors and best friends who you may know as the host of the tv show one hundred one places to party before you die now we're bringing you a.

[D]

Comedic look at health and wellness with our new show staying alive we'll have.

[A]

Guests like our friend actor jerry o' connell ketamine therapist doctor stephen radowitz paul scheer ego wodem gillian bell doctor dolittle.

[D]

Staying alive with john gabris and adam pally is out right now get them.

[A]

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