Stephanie Hsu, Zosia Mamet, Heather Anne Campbell, Casey Feigh

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode Featuring Stephanie Hsu, Zosia Mamet, Heather Anne Campbell, and Casey Feigh

Release Date: January 13, 2025

---

Introduction

In this vibrant episode of Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast, host Scott Aukerman welcomes a dynamic lineup of guests, including Stephanie Hsu and Zosia Mamet, who star together in the Peacock series Laid. Additionally, the show features Alexa Melrose, a unique parking enforcement officer with a quirky twist, and a returning musician, Heather Anne Campbell, bringing an eclectic mix of humor, insights, and creative banter to the table.

---

Guests Introduction: Stephanie Hsu and Zosia Mamet

[02:47] Scott introduces Stephanie Hsu and Zosia Mamet, highlighting their roles in Laid, a Peacock series where they play best friends navigating the complexities of adult life. Scott humorously struggles with pronouncing their names correctly, leading to a playful exchange about rebranding themselves as “the Shoe and the Shaw.”

Notable Quote:

Stephanie Hsu: "I don't want that rep. Not enough for five, but definitely enough for. For one and 38 minutes."
[07:12]

---

Discussion on "Laid"

The conversation delves into the premise of Laid, where Stephanie's character discovers a supernatural twist: every ex-boyfriend she dated meets a grim fate in the order they were involved with her. Scott provides a sneak peek into the show's plot, eliciting laughter and intrigue.

Notable Quote:

Zosia Mamet: "Amidst her journey to find love, she discovers that all of her exes are dying in the order that she slept with them."
[06:00]

Scott shares his limited viewing of the series but invites his guests to describe the show's unique blend of comedy and dark fantasy. Stephanie humorously deflects potential slut-shaming, emphasizing the show's comedic tone.

Notable Quote:

Stephanie Hsu: "Don't slut shame me."
[07:17]

---

Foraging and Nature's Rebellion

The trio shifts gears to a humorous debate on whether non-human creatures could collaborate to overthrow humans. Stephanie shares a bizarre personal anecdote about rabbits infiltrating her car's engine, sparking a lively discussion on nature’s potential uprising.

Notable Quote:

Stephanie Hsu: "There was a huge rabbit in the engine. Alive. Chillin."
[09:38]

Zosia ponders the logistics of such a rebellion, while Scott engages in speculative banter about how quickly nature could assert dominance, referencing popular culture like A Quiet Place.

---

Time Travelers and Parking Enforcement: Alexa Melrose

Introducing Alexa Melrose, Scott brings in a guest with an unconventional role—time parking enforcement. Alexa humorously explains her duties of issuing parking tickets to time travelers who illegally park in various historical eras, blending sci-fi with everyday bureaucratic tasks.

Notable Quote:

Alexa Melrose: "Sometimes in the past people are going back to park in areas that they shouldn't be parking in. And my department, we go to those areas in the past and prevent them from either parking in those red zones or we issue them tickets."
[30:02]

The segment evolves into a comedic exploration of the challenges Alexa faces, including dealing with outdated technology and the paradoxes of time travel.

Notable Quote:

Joey Salsa (Alexa’s portrayal): "No, no, no. I don't arrest. That's a time cop. I just issue tickets."
[41:08]

Scott probes the necessity of Alexa’s role, leading to a humorous exchange about the overlap between traditional parking enforcement and time-specific ticketing.

---

Musical Interlude: Alexa Melrose as a Songwriter

Alexa Melrose transitions into her role as a musician and songwriter, sharing her creative struggles and attempts to craft original musicals. She presents a parody of Wicked, humorously titled Who's That Scarecrow Sleeping With, which Scott critiques for its obvious similarities to the original.

Notable Quote:

Alexa Melrose: "I wanna suck him. I wanna fuck him. I wanna take him off that pole and flip his butt around and put my butt next to his butt."
[72:36]

Scott interjects with playful criticism, highlighting the challenges of creating original content without inadvertently mirroring existing works.

Notable Quote:

Scott Aukerman: "This song is better without all the statistics about recent studies."
[68:58]

Despite the lighthearted mockery, Alexa remains enthusiastic, demonstrating the creative process and the iterative nature of songwriting.

---

Plugs and Final Remarks

As the episode progresses, Scott hosts a “Plugs” segment where guests promote their projects. Stephanie Hsu and Zosia Mamet advocate for their show Laid on Peacock, while Alexa Melrose shares insights into her musical endeavors and future projects.

Notable Quote:

Stephanie Hsu: "Laid is out right now on Peacock. All eight episodes are up, and it's a bingeable show with so many plot twists."
[75:38]

The episode wraps up with humorous and whimsical endorsements, tying back to earlier themes of time travel and creative pursuits, leaving listeners entertained and eager for more.

---

Conclusion

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang masterfully blends comedic interviews with imaginative discussions, offering a delightful mix of celebrity insights and offbeat humor. Scott Aukerman skillfully navigates conversations ranging from supernatural plotlines in Laid to the peculiar challenges of time-based parking enforcement, all while maintaining a lighthearted and engaging atmosphere. The inclusion of creative segments like the musical parody adds depth and entertainment, making this episode a standout in the show's 15-year run.

Overall Highlights:

• Engaging discussions about the Peacock series Laid starring Stephanie Hsu and Zosia Mamet.
• A unique and humorous take on parking enforcement with a time-travel twist.
• Creative musical interludes showcasing the challenges of originality in songwriting.
• Playful banter and notable quotes that encapsulate the show's comedic essence.

Listeners, whether familiar with the guests or not, will find this episode both amusing and insightful, showcasing the eclectic charm that Comedy Bang Bang is renowned for.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Stephanie Hsu: "Don't slut shame me." — [07:17]
• Zosia Mamet: "Amidst her journey to find love, she discovers that all of her exes are dying in the order that she slept with them." — [06:00]
• Stephanie Hsu: "There was a huge rabbit in the engine. Alive. Chillin." — [09:38]
• Alexa Melrose: "Sometimes in the past people are going back to park in areas that they shouldn't be parking in. And my department, we go to those areas in the past and prevent them from either parking in those red zones or we issue them tickets." — [30:02]
• Alexa Melrose: "I wanna suck him. I wanna fuck him. I wanna take him off that pole and flip his butt around and put my butt next to his butt." — [72:36]
• Stephanie Hsu: "Laid is out right now on Peacock. All eight episodes are up, and it's a bingeable show with so many plot twists." — [75:38]

---

Note: All quotes are attributed with their corresponding timestamps as per the transcript provided.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Scott Aukerman]

In the words of the immortal Bard, be not afraid of greatness, afraid of that thing behind you. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Hmm, pretty good submission. Thank you to Cronkite CRO Magnon for that catchphrase submission. I don't know though, it's a little long. I love talking about the immortal Bard. I assume Willy Shakes is of course who we're talking about, but I don't think that one's gonna stick. But thank you so much for the submission. Keep trying. We're gonna find one that we like eventually. I look forward to that day. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have a great show coming up a little later. We have a someone who works in parking enforcement. Oh, that's very exciting. I've parked probably 35 times in my life, so I think I'm going to have a lot of questions. We also have a musician coming up. So this is a good show today. Something for everyone. People who park, people who listen or write music. And then we have our guests of honor. That's right. They're coming in as a duo act. I love this. They're coming in in tandem. They individually.

[Stephanie Hsu]

She.

[Scott Aukerman]

Starred in the movie Everything Everywhere all at Once where she received an Oscar nomination. Also things like Poker Face and she starred in the the television series Girls as well as. Oh, what was that other show? What was the show you did right after Girls?

[Zosia Mamet]

Flight Attendant.

[Scott Aukerman]

Flight Attendant. That's it on Max. Got a lot of questions about Max back then. It was HBO Max, wasn't it true? Incredible. I have so many questions about that. But together they are starring. They're playing best buds in a show called Laid, which is out now on Peacock. Eight episodes. Please welcome Stephanie Hsu and Zasha Mamet. Saying Sasha after Shue is very, very difficult, by the way.

[Zosia Mamet]

You definitely made that harder for yourself.

[Stephanie Hsu]

For sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What should I have done? Should I have taken a break after.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Stephanie Shu made me a little catch breath?

[Zosia Mamet]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stephanie Shukrona. Yeah. Anyway. Hi.

[Alexa Melrose]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shoe. Yeah, Shoe Za.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Hi. Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the Shoe and the Shah. Right?

[Zosia Mamet]

After the Shoe, the Shoe and the Shah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Have you considered rebranding yourselves as the Shoe and the Shah?

[Zosia Mamet]

Honestly? Not until now.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not bad.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Good idea.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good idea. I think you guys should host some awards show coming up, you know, maybe the Oscars. I know they have a host right now.

[Stephanie Hsu]

The Shoe and Shaw. The Shoe and the Shawl. Sponsored by Adidas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Did you get the Adidas sponsorship? Oh, that's amazing. Thank you so much for coming, guys. It's wonderful to have you join the exclusive One Timers Club.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Thanks for having us.

[Zosia Mamet]

Yeah, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's talk about this show, Laid. I was recently sent the entire season. It's out now on Peacock. I had the time to watch approximately one episode, so I know the premise. These are long episodes, by the way. This was like 40 minutes long, this one.

[Stephanie Hsu]

No, 30. Who do you think is, like, pilots?

[Scott Aukerman]

38.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Okay.

[Zosia Mamet]

That extra eight minutes really got you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, really. Oh, man. I was winded afterwards.

[Zosia Mamet]

You did not have those to spare.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, but I know the premise because the premise is firmly established in the first episode. But I would love to hear you guys describe what the premise is. And can you alternate sentences?

[Stephanie Hsu]

It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sentences. Not just every two words. Although it is. Is a great, dynamite start to actually.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Sorry. It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

It just is.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It just is.

[Zosia Mamet]

It is a show about now.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're making it harder for yourselves.

[Stephanie Hsu]

This is where the 38 came from. We're the extra eight for the extra eight.

[Zosia Mamet]

Shu and Shah. Those extra eight minutes. You want to take it?

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's a show about a woman in her 30s who's having a hard time finding love.

[Scott Aukerman]

And now a lot of shows would just stop there.

[Zosia Mamet]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they would say, like, okay, then we watch her try to find love.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yet there's an intriguing twist to this show.

[Joey Salsa]

But.

[Zosia Mamet]

But wait, there's more.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Tell us, Shah.

[Zosia Mamet]

But on amidst her journey to find love, she discovers that all of her exes are dying in the order that she slept with them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. In the order. Oh, I didn't know that.

[Stephanie Hsu]

After the first episode that happens in episode two, It's. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, a little spoiler for episode two. And interesting, because now, knowing what I know in episode one, that's interesting. That.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Okay, well, see, there's something here for everyone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Interesting. So essentially, the first episode, Stephanie, your character finds out that someone from college that you both went to college with has passed away. You decide to go to the funeral, and then as you're talking about the person, you're reminded that you slept with them back during college. And then you see another person from college at the funeral who then ends up dying right in front of you.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

In a particularly gruesome manner.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

And it was not revealed to me in episode one how many people you had slept with.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's a healthy body count.

[Scott Aukerman]

Enough for five seasons.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Don't slut shame me.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. This is not the slut shaming podcast.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I don't want that rep. Not enough for five, but definitely enough for. For one and 38 minutes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. And what's the process behind this show getting made? It's such an unconventional idea. It's based on a Australian show. Australian show? Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you do anything other than just guttural noises with your Australian or.

[Stephanie Hsu]

No, I did shoot something in Australia once. And, um, I, like. One of the. One of the crew members was teaching me phrases, and my favorite one was going off like a frog in a sock, mate. And I asked him, I said, what do you mean going off like a frog in a sock? And he goes, you know, a frog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, that clears up.

[Stephanie Hsu]

And a sock. And then he did this movement that you can't see because this is a podcast, but it's sort of like, ah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like sort of akin to the gas station inflatables.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yes, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Moving side to side.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Actually, that's pretty accurate. Yeah.

[Zosia Mamet]

Has you heard we're not here to fuck spiders?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have not heard that. Is that a phrase or.

[Stephanie Hsu]

You've never heard that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Shu and Shaw's general theme.

[Zosia Mamet]

That's our. That's our catchphrase.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's your vibe.

[Zosia Mamet]

No, I had an Australian co star who one day when we were shooting something was like, I'm gonna. I can't do an Australian accent. It was like, we're not here to fuck spiders. And I was like, I don't know what I mean. Obviously not. But also, can you elaborate? And he. The same thing. He was like, you know, I was like, no, no, no, no, I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting. Wow, they're a strange bunch down there, aren't they? Down in Australia?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, they live amongst a lot of creatures. I think it's becoming clear. Spiders, frogs.

[Zosia Mamet]

Spiders, frogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think if every non human creature teamed up in the world, they could overthrow the humans?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Absolutely confirmed.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean definitely in the sea, the sharks, the orcas, they already, they're already attacking boats and everything like that. So I mean, we would have to remain on land. But then it would take some coordinated effort, wouldn't it?

[Stephanie Hsu]

My engine wires were just chewed through by a rodent, so they're winning. And then when I popped the hood of my car, there was a huge rabbit that was so big in the car.

[Scott Aukerman]

In the engine.

[Stephanie Hsu]

In the engine. Alive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alive.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Chillin. Yes, but I know rabbits don't chew through anyway, so there were.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wait, you think that there were two different.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yes, they worked together. I know. I think that I travel a lot, so I think they made a home. I think they conquered all. How long in my city do you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Think the rabbit was in there for?

[Zosia Mamet]

Yeah, I want to know how long you think it had been.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Maybe overnight.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you hadn't.

[Zosia Mamet]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I would assume the engine gets so hot that it would be uncomfortable for the rabbit to be there while you're actually driving. But you never know.

[Stephanie Hsu]

But maybe it's a little chilly outside.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Alexa Melrose]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

What. Interesting. So that's just one facet of mother Nature teaming up to fuck with us. Yeah.

[Zosia Mamet]

Or just specifically you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who do you think they would take down first? Do you think they would take like. If nature were to take a look at the human race and say like, okay, we need to. Now. Normally in a war you would knock out communications first because that's the only way that you can coordinate an army. So would they take out the telecommunicate? Would they take out like Tim Cook from Apple maybe first? Like he's number one with a bullet or something? I don't know. What do you think the process would be?

[Stephanie Hsu]

I want it to be funny, but it's like too real in my heart.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think they would take out the big strong people first?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Girl? I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Girl.

[Stephanie Hsu]

A girl? I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think, Sasha? You seem like you don't quite know what to make of this.

[Zosia Mamet]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Conjecture.

[Zosia Mamet]

I'm just suddenly going to a dark place because I love animals so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

You love animals so much you want to team up with them? Against the rest of the humans.

[Zosia Mamet]

I mean, here to tell you what my alliances will be. Who knows what's going to happen on the other side of this.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a traitor.

[Zosia Mamet]

You know, look, here's the deal. It's a complicated issue. I don't know. I feel like it would probably just be like a bl. I don't think it would be that hard for them.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think it'd be over in, like, 24 hours? You know, you watch that movie A Quiet Place. I don't know if you. Do you have any plans on starring in one of these quiet place movies? If not, I'll continue. But you watch this, and it's over in, like, five hours. You know, they come down, no one thinks, like, hey, let's play loud music at them. You know? And instead they just, like, they tear through everybody. And it takes approximately, like, four and a half hours for them to just wipe out the human race. Do you think it would be like that? Where. If lions. So lions and bears, those are the scariest, right?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Maybe tigers.

[Zosia Mamet]

Oh, my. I don't know. I'm also like, sometimes it's the small creatures, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, if everybody just, like, spiders decided to team up.

[Zosia Mamet]

Or like, mosquitoes.

[Stephanie Hsu]

And that's why we don't fuck them.

[Zosia Mamet]

And that's. And that's why we don't fuck them.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's why we don't fuck them.

[Zosia Mamet]

That's like, every time I ask Siri to do something afterwards, I always say, thanks. Thank you. Because I'm. I'm really scared that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we have Siri on our side. That's the thing that the animals don't know we've teamed up.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, you say thank you to Siri. That's very kind.

[Zosia Mamet]

Well, because I'm afraid that when Siri takes over.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think Siri logs that?

[Zosia Mamet]

Look, I don't know, but I'm like, I may as well cover my bases.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right, Cyb. Now, speaking of traitors, which you are a traitor to the human race. Traitors is another television show on Peacock. And your show is on Peacock. See how I expertly wove that together?

[Zosia Mamet]

Bring it down.

[Stephanie Hsu]

You need an endorsement from Peacock. Yeah, there should be.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if Adidas and Peacock teamed up and endorsed you? What if Adidas supplied sneakers to a Peacock?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yes, Adidas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anyway. But your show is on Peacock. All episodes are out now. We're doing the binge system of dropping them all.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's a bingeable show. It's like, you want to know what happens next.

[Zosia Mamet]

That was A debate. Right.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It was. It was.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was like akin to the Lincoln Douglas debate.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Exactly. Like, as such. But yeah, you never know if people want to, you know, wait a week. But this one has so many different little plot twists that you're kind of like, I just want to sit and watch all of it and know what happens.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I've seen there's some intriguing guest stars coming up in the little thumbnail that I was sent of that I could click on to click on the episodes we have. Our good friend John early is in one or two.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Or one episode.

[Scott Aukerman]

One episode. It appears to be episode four, if I'm not mistaken. Yes. We also have. Who else is in it?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Caper Lant is in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Caperland.

[Stephanie Hsu]

We love Simu. Simu Lu, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shang Chi himself.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yeah. Shang Chi himself. And so many, so many, so many, so many.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can only name two. You ran out after two.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Don't do that to me. I'm sleepy.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is four in the afternoon.

[Stephanie Hsu]

This is the witching hour. Don't you think this is the time? This is the time. It's like, if you didn't have lunch, you're fucked.

[Zosia Mamet]

Yeah. Have you had lunch? I have not had lunch.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I have not had lunch.

[Zosia Mamet]

I have not had lunch.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's a little toasty. And inside it is also quite.

[Zosia Mamet]

It's quite warm. The sun is hitting the windows.

[Scott Aukerman]

The sun is. Now, because it's 4pm the sun has moved over to the windows.

[Zosia Mamet]

We're basically toddler. We're a little hungry. We're a little sleepy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, let's see what I can do for you. First of all, you can take a nap right now.

[Zosia Mamet]

Fantastic.

[Scott Aukerman]

And while I forage for some food. Thank you so much.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Honestly. Okay, well, there are some candy canes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right here in the. Don't eat on.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I am into foraging, but we're supposed to be talking about the show that you should watch on Peacock. Okay, now, foraging. Incredible. Have you ever foraged?

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never foraged myself. Unless you count Uber Eats as foraging or.

[Stephanie Hsu]

You're funny.

[Zosia Mamet]

Where have you for it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. Thank you so much. This is the first compliment I've got. We're almost 900 episodes in. This is the first time anyone has ever complimented me.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, when I lived in la, I used to, like, during COVID I would walk. I guess this is maybe not okay, but I would, like, go on foraging walks because there's so many fruit trees here.

[Zosia Mamet]

Kumquat, you're just like, climbing into people's.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Backyards and stealing their Fruit, usually when it overflows their fence, that's free game. Figs, passion fruit, avocado, and then figs. Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I've ever espied a fig tree here in Los Angeles.

[Stephanie Hsu]

They're everywhere. They're everywhere. Open your eyes. Figs are amazing. My friend said once to me. Brilliant. Most brilliant thing I've ever heard. Get ready.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, boy.

[Stephanie Hsu]

She said, figs are nature's brownies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Interesting. Yeah, I can see that.

[Stephanie Hsu]

But they're like. They've got that flavor.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're chocolatey.

[Stephanie Hsu]

They have chocolate.

[Zosia Mamet]

Okay, question.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Those are seeds.

[Zosia Mamet]

Do you not feel like maybe a date would be nature's brownie?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Oh, shit. She said that about dates.

[Scott Aukerman]

Still the most brilliant thing you've ever heard.

[Zosia Mamet]

And this is why Shu am shy, you know?

[Scott Aukerman]

This is why we need you as a team.

[Stephanie Hsu]

X. Yeah, exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's a great relationship. It's a very funny show. I would consider it to be a comedy mixed with drama. I would maybe even call it a dramedy or a comma.

[Zosia Mamet]

Maybe a comma.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Maybe it's a comma.

[Scott Aukerman]

Might be a comma.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's a comma. D, Comma, Comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. No, you're right.

[Zosia Mamet]

Comedy.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I just made up that word.

[Zosia Mamet]

I think it's gonna stick. Is that what comedy means?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, comma, it's comma, and then D.

[Stephanie Hsu]

As I said, it is 4pm I've not had lunch. It states.

[Zosia Mamet]

It states.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I'm not. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which, by the way, were you coming in from photo shoot or something? You're wearing it. You. You in particular, Stephanie, are wearing a very intricate outfit, if I may be so bold as to say.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's a white dress, but the sleeves are big.

[Scott Aukerman]

The sleeves are very big.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I was. I was at the Jennifer Hudson show just now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, is that the show where you gotta walk down the hall and they.

[Stephanie Hsu]

All go, okay, we're just talking about this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can we talk about this?

[Stephanie Hsu]

The spirit tunnel. It was my first time and I have to say that was the freaking coolest thing I've ever.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was cool.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It was amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

My heart goes out to the people who work at that show who, like, maybe it was fun the couple of times and now they have to do it every day.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I think they love it.

[Scott Aukerman]

They love it.

[Stephanie Hsu]

There's someone who writes. I mean, maybe it switches, but they. They write the song based on whoever is the guest. And then they, like, get in the hall and they sing the song or do the rapper.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you haven't seen what we're Talking about this is your entrance onto the show.

[Stephanie Hsu]

The Jennifer Hudson show.

[Scott Aukerman]

You walk through the staff who are all lined up down a hallway, and they're singing a song.

[Stephanie Hsu]

T and I even got a cool down. I don't know if that's normal.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean?

[Zosia Mamet]

What's a cool down?

[Stephanie Hsu]

So apparently they had a few song options. So when I was done with the show, I walked off and I got another song.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got a second song to cool you down?

[Stephanie Hsu]

I got a cool down. I got a cool down. It was really special.

[Joey Salsa]

Is there footage of this?

[Stephanie Hsu]

I think someone on their staff like.

[Scott Aukerman]

This must be for socials.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yeah, it must be for socials.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is exciting.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's pretty cool. I want everyone to get to experience it, you know, it's like, I want.

[Zosia Mamet]

To start my day that way.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's really neat.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think you could hire the Jennifer Hudson show staff to just like meet you at your house every morning? Every morning? Yeah, why not?

[Zosia Mamet]

And just have like a sing along birth canal?

[Scott Aukerman]

How much could it possibly be?

[Zosia Mamet]

How much could that be?

[Joey Salsa]

$50,000 a day.

[Zosia Mamet]

Worth it?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, worth it. Well, that's fantastic. The Jennifer Hudson show. You're wearing big sleeves. Do you remember what songs are they? Parodies of current popular songs or even.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Formerly popular songs sometimes, but I couldn't actually identify which parody. I don't know if mine were references to other songs.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think that they're writing originals for you, these sleeves?

[Stephanie Hsu]

How could you not? No, I think I was also in such a state of overwhelm and that I couldn't be like, oh, that's my favorite top 20 hit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. The fart sound. Do they warn you that this is gonna happen or are you just thrown right into the lion's den?

[Stephanie Hsu]

We are. You're sort of primed a little.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're primed. And then the cooldown afterwards.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I'm not using words. Good.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're using masseuse terms.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Masseuse terms.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know how they prime you before you cool down afterwards. These are just the masseuses that I go to.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yeah, you're a. You're a Kobe beef and you're going to a masseuse. That's like lathering you in sake.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Priming you with sake.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's exactly what I want. Yes, of course. Well, it's a great show. Laid is out there right now. People can access it. Really? All one needs is perhaps a peacock subscription. You can even do it with ads if you like. If that's your tier in peacock, you know, do you do you guys pay for the non ads or. I bet Peacock sends you actual subscriber logins, don't they? You guys are afraid to speak.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Oh, my gosh. You go.

[Zosia Mamet]

I mean. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Stephanie Hsu]

What?

[Zosia Mamet]

Did you get one?

[Scott Aukerman]

I did. Did you? Yeah, I got one. Okay, you both got. Oh, my God. Was there some fear right here that.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Perhaps maybe someone didn't get one?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you both got one. That's fantastic.

[Zosia Mamet]

Are you happy for us?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm very happy for you. I made three or four shows for CISO and they would never give me a login. They needed every subscriber they could get.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Oh, wow.

[Zosia Mamet]

I think they only get it for a year, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, these sons of it. And then if they don't pick your show back up.

[Zosia Mamet]

Actually, the day that I stopped working for hbo, I went to go watch something and it was like, you're so scratchy.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? This is huge news. So is this the day after the shoot ends or the day after the final episode ends?

[Zosia Mamet]

Oh, God. I'm trying to remember. I feel like it was. I can't. I think it was, like, the day. I think it was, like, honestly, not long after I wrapped shooting.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just gonna say that it was the day.

[Zosia Mamet]

It was the day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right when they said series wrapped, I walked off. Sasha Mamet.

[Zosia Mamet]

It was just like my phone exploded, flipped a switch. I was like, wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, this is incredible.

[Zosia Mamet]

Goodbye forever.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Okay, but hear me out on this. I'm just gonna plug this everywhere I can. Wouldn't it be nice if all the streamers just became, like, a television like you like cable? Wouldn't that be nice?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yes.

[Zosia Mamet]

1,000.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Because, like, the amount of passport. Passports.

[Zosia Mamet]

Passports. The amount of passports to go between.

[Scott Aukerman]

To renew your passport.

[Zosia Mamet]

Honestly, does it not kind of feel like that?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, I literally, like, I. I cannot remember 90% of my passwords.

[Zosia Mamet]

No, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Here's what the streamer should do. They should all band together. They should broadcast on, like, a satellite dish that goes into your home or something like that. And then all of the shows should have, like, advertisements in it. And then people would make money again in show business. And then we could get more shows on.

[Zosia Mamet]

We're just gonna return to basic cable.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Yeah, those were the good old days.

[Zosia Mamet]

I mean, honestly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, people made money.

[Zosia Mamet]

It worked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, the system worked. And now everyone's streaming these things.

[Zosia Mamet]

Why not? Also, I feel like I keep. Do you constantly get bumped out of your things and it makes you log into them again? And then I end up, like, with the cute.

[Stephanie Hsu]

No, okay, someone with a switch. Someone with a switch is messing with you.

[Zosia Mamet]

Someone's really fucking with me hard and it's ruining my day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I am very glad that you both have. Is it ad free tier of Peacock or did they give you the ad one?

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's ad free.

[Zosia Mamet]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fantastic. This is good. But only a year. And this started the day the show wrapped or the day the show premiered?

[Stephanie Hsu]

A few months before.

[Scott Aukerman]

A few months before. Okay, so. But it's only a year. So you have like 10 months left on this.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Perhaps 10 months to use that $15 a month towards Jennifer Hudson's entire crew.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you get to see Traitor Season 3 before it expire. You'll get to see Deal or no Deal island season two probably before it expires. What else is on Peacock these days? Oh yeah, Poker face.

[Zosia Mamet]

Do you watch Seasons on a peacock?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I'm a peacock head. You kidding me? Love it.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I see the feathers.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Well, it's a great show. Laid is out right now. All eight episodes. People can access them with a mere Peacock subscription much. I know. I stumbled on Peacock Peapop. What if you called your grandfather P Pop?

[Stephanie Hsu]

That's cute. I like that.

[Zosia Mamet]

It actually is cute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Hey, P Pop.

[Zosia Mamet]

Yeah, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's got pee in it though. I don't know.

[Alexa Melrose]

I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were I to be a grandfather, I don't know that I ever will be while I'm alive. Of course, who knows? But I feel like I'm gonna expire before I become a grandfather. What do you think if you had to take bets?

[Stephanie Hsu]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You think that I'll still be alive?

[Stephanie Hsu]

I know nothing about your personal life too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a two year old.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, yeah.

[Zosia Mamet]

Why not?

[Scott Aukerman]

Your face. Yeah. You instantly realized you shouldn't be taking bets on me ever becoming.

[Zosia Mamet]

Can I walk that back? I mean, will she be a young mother?

[Scott Aukerman]

I hope. If it's what she wants to. I don't quite know how to answer this.

[Zosia Mamet]

There's a lot of questions.

[Scott Aukerman]

Lot of questions.

[Zosia Mamet]

But let's just go with yes. Hip hop, you shall be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, yeah, I'm going to do this. Fantastic. Well, Laid is out right now. We're going to take a break. This is very exciting. We have Shu and Shaw here and we also have a. A person in parking enforcement. We also have a musician. This is a packed show, guys. I'm so glad you're here for this. This is incredible. We're going to take a break. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang bang after this. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What do you want your 2025 story to be? Every January brings you 365 blank pages just waiting to be filled with all of your adventures and exploits in 2025. Maybe you're ready for a plot twist. Maybe there's part of your story that you've been wanting to revise. We're keeping this metaphor going well. Life isn't about resolutions that fade by February. It's about picking up the pen and becoming the author of your own life. Think of Therapy as your editorial partner, helping you write new chapters and create the meaningful story that you deserve to live. Better Help will help you do this. It's entirely online. It makes therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Like Mr. Worldwide, I hope Pitbull is one of them. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties easily switch therapists anytime at no additional cost. Write your story with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com Bang Bang to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com Bang Bang this new.

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang we are back. We have Stephanie Hsu and Zasha Mamet here. Shu and Shaw of course, from the television show laid out now on Peacock where one can see traders, one can see for a while they had a whole kind of station devoted to people playing poker that in the midst of COVID when I was depressed I would watch for maybe eight hours a day and. But currently you can see laid on this platform and we have to get to our next guest. She's a parking enforcement officer, I guess. Is that safe to say?

[Joey Salsa]

It is. It is. I mean, that is safe to say. I. I have to. I have a bit of an issue. My PR people didn't tell you my full title?

[Scott Aukerman]

You have PR people as a part? Okay, no, but what's your full title?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, whoever it is that books.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you consider my booking person to be your PR person now?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoever that is, they contacted me. I think they didn't take down all the information.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the information that you need?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, so you know.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, this is Shoe and Chalk.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, hi. Hi. Shoe and Chuck.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't know your name yet. I haven't introduced.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, should I do that?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I'm willing to do it. But it seemed like you wanted to get something off your chest.

[Joey Salsa]

No, you do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Alexa Melrose is here.

[Joey Salsa]

That's me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello, Alexa.

[Joey Salsa]

Hi.

[Scott Aukerman]

What. What exactly did you. Did you need me to adjust in your introduction?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, there's a. Yeah, so there's a clarification. How do I put this? Okay. So you know what a time cop is?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I mean that like the police. Jean Claude Van Damme portrayed one in a movie.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

They're police from the future who go back to make sure that time travelers aren't necessari altering the timeline.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah. They're not splitting the timeline, so that's basically what I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it part of it, splitting the timeline?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I don't. I don't know. I haven't seen it.

[Scott Aukerman]

You haven't seen Time Cop?

[Joey Salsa]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but you know what a time cop is?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, yeah, because they're real.

[Scott Aukerman]

What?

[Joey Salsa]

Time cops are real.

[Scott Aukerman]

Time cops are real?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, they're real.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you a time cop?

[Joey Salsa]

No, no, no. See, they got that part right. Okay, I'm a time parking enforcement attendant.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a time parking enforcement attendant. What does that mean? So, like time parking.

[Joey Salsa]

So sometimes in the past people are going back to park in areas that they shouldn't be parking in. And my department, we go to those areas in the past and prevent them from either parking in those red zones or we issue them tickets. Because you can't just willy nilly travel through time and park your car wherever you want.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because. Okay, if I'm. Have you ever heard of anything like this Xuan Shaw?

[Zosia Mamet]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's interesting because if I'm. If I'm gaining this out correctly.

[Joey Salsa]

And you should be.

[Scott Aukerman]

There are only enough spaces in any city for the inhabitants of that city. So.

[Alexa Melrose]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

If time travelers start coming back to this city, then suddenly it's anarchy because they're parking in places. That means the regular citizenry doesn't have places to park.

[Joey Salsa]

Absolutely. That's one of the issues. There's a lot of major issues when it comes to parking your car in incorrect time, in an incorrect time zone.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are the other issues?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, say, for example, there was a guy who tried to park in Daly Plaza on November 22, 1963, and that would have completely, irreparably changed the car.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was he trying to get a front row seat?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He drove. He drove to Texas and he parked his car right there in the plaza. And I had to go there and I had to make sure the car was towed on time, and so that the assassination.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you work with local authorities?

[Joey Salsa]

I mean. Yeah, we have contacts in every division.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, I'm just kind of curious. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Do you have some sort of tow truck, like a time tow truck?

[Joey Salsa]

I've got a time moped. It's like a very. It's like a Vespa. Because you don't know, like, some areas that you know. Like, if you're going all the way back to ancient Rome, then you can't bring the vehicle. But if you're going anywhere from like, say, 1953 on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the 50s all the way up till today, then you can. You can drive the moped and nobody bats an eye. Like, you could drive in like a, you know, a 62 Chevy or something. And. And then you're in the 90s, people are like, what is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a classic car. Then you draw a lot of attention.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you're driving a Vespa around, nobody gives a.

[Scott Aukerman]

No one cares. They think you're a mod or a scholar enthusiast or something.

[Zosia Mamet]

What are the parking restrictions in ancient Rome?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, okay, so first off, you can't park anywhere, right? Because those chariots should not have a car. But. But if you have like a horse and a buggy or like a, like a chariot or something, there are districts and zones that you can and cannot park in. If you're a woman, you definitely can't park anywhere because you aren't allowed to have the chariot to begin with. But there are people who are traveling back to ancient Rome and they're like, oh, there's a. There's somebody who's fighting in the coliseum and I want to get a front row seat and then they park and I got to issue the ticket or provide their information to the local towing agency.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What's your favorite time period? I mean, I would think anything predating indoor toilets would be bad. I wouldn't want.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, those are tough. Those are tough. The castles where they just got the hole on the side of the building and you just go out the side of the castle. That is not for me. I don't like any of that. So I like indoor plumbing. I like heating.

[Scott Aukerman]

Air conditioning is key.

[Joey Salsa]

Air conditioning's all right, but it didn't used to be as hot as it is now, so it was okay. It was kind of breezy.

[Scott Aukerman]

But also gps. I think anything pre gps. GPS is the best invention in the past.

[Joey Salsa]

So you would only go back to 2008?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, that's because you live in the hills and it's all curlicued up here.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't like to give away my assassination coordinates necessarily, but we'll just do it. I will say that the hills in general. Sure.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's very hard. It's very difficult to get around without GPS, isn't it? Remember the days where you'd have to MapQuest or even worse, Thomas guide things?

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, those are the big thick boys. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, if we're talking about the same thing. Yes.

[Joey Salsa]

The top. Wait, who are you? I was talking about the magazine. You're talking about a man.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean. Yeah, it segued into talking about just general big thick boys.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of Thomases out there who got a. Who are a big thick boy, but I'm talking specifically about the magazine that had the maps in.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not magazine necessarily as. Although it's not really a book because it doesn't have a plot.

[Joey Salsa]

It's got a floppy. If it's floppy, then it's a magazine. If it's hard, then it's a book.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a good point.

[Joey Salsa]

That's why I think so.

[Alexa Melrose]

What.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is. Can you go to the future too, by the way?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm stationed in the few. I'm not from now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. When were you born?

[Joey Salsa]

I was born in the year 2076.

[Scott Aukerman]

2076. I mean, that's 50 years from the 51 years or so from now.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Amazing. What's it like then?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, it's a lot like now. So every Time. You think you see a movie where it's in the future and it's all like all these futuristic buildings. Like all the buildings everywhere have been there for like a hundred, two hundred. Some. Like every once in a while they'll.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tear down a house or something, build up, you know, one of those little, you know, square boxes or whatever. But for the. For the most part, buildings just stick around.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. It's. It's most of the same buildings. Like. Like once in a while you get an architect who gets like a crazy idea and he makes a big building that look like a garbage can or something.

[Scott Aukerman]

They say they're gonna tear down that Arby's over there on Sunset, you know.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, that's still here.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's still.

[Joey Salsa]

That is gone.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's gone by that?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, that is gone. That is gone. They kept the hat, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good. Yeah, it's still a hat based.

[Joey Salsa]

It sells hats. It's a skyscraper where they sell hats.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a skyscraper. Yeah, they sell that.

[Alexa Melrose]

That's.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's too many.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, in the future.

[Joey Salsa]

In the future, you need a hat because it's so sunny because everything, you know, everything got really hot. But yeah, so I'm from. I mean, it's. It's basically like same buildings, a couple new ones.

[Scott Aukerman]

What changes? Like electronics, maybe? I'm trying to think of what was different 50 years ago.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, everything's a hot dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you. What do you mean everything's a hot dog?

[Joey Salsa]

Like all the. All the food. A hot dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

All the foods are hot dogs.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fifty years in the future.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. So. So it. You. When everything starts collapsing and then they kind of swoop in and they fix it all up.

[Scott Aukerman]

But no, this is the part that I want to hear about. Everything starts collapsing.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's like. I don't know. That was like 20 years before I was born.

[Stephanie Hsu]

So everything's soon now.

[Joey Salsa]

Ish. 30 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

30 years from now. Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

We still have a little everybody.

[Stephanie Hsu]

You'll get to watch the last gas.

[Joey Salsa]

So. So. So everything starts collapsing, and then the government swoops in and they fix everything. But, you know, there's something.

[Scott Aukerman]

We can count on the government to fix everything.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, it's like one government, but anyway, so they step in, they fix it, and then after that, it's like you have to do some streamlining.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So the, like, the. The. The food pipeline, essentially, the food pipeline.

[Joey Salsa]

The entire, like, shipping and business industry, they're all sort of. Of streamlined Streamlined.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is everything like a meat hot dog or do you just.

[Joey Salsa]

It's whatever you want it to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whatever you want. So it's got a.

[Joey Salsa]

It's like a chocolate cake hot dog.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Soylent.

[Joey Salsa]

Yes. Yeah, but it's a hot dog.

[Zosia Mamet]

But in hot. So it's just all hot dogified, shape wise.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know, no matter what you need, you can get it in a hot dog.

[Zosia Mamet]

Are we eating it just in dog form or are we bunning it up?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I mean, it depends, like, if you. That's up to you. I mean, so say you have a.

[Scott Aukerman]

Chocolate cake and ice cream hot dog. What does that look like?

[Joey Salsa]

A chocolate cake and ice cream hot dog? Look like a hot dog? What are you asking me?

[Zosia Mamet]

But what's the bun situation? A witch for that.

[Joey Salsa]

For chocolate cake and ice cream?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What is made out of what?

[Joey Salsa]

Do you want a bun on that? Because you can have it if you want.

[Scott Aukerman]

But is it a bread bun?

[Joey Salsa]

If you want to eat bread sandwich. I don't want to eat bread with chocolate cake and ice cream. Are you so crazy, Becky?

[Zosia Mamet]

So the hot dogs can be anything you want, but the buns are.

[Scott Aukerman]

The buns are always bread.

[Zosia Mamet]

Strictly buns.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, I mean, it's a bunch.

[Stephanie Hsu]

What about corn dogs?

[Joey Salsa]

Like a corn dog? No. I mean.

[Stephanie Hsu]

No, no, no, no. Are you so here in the 90s, there was a.

[Joey Salsa]

Wait. What year is it here?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no, wait, where. Are you a time traveler, Stephanie? Oh, no. You might be wanting to watch where Stephanie parks.

[Joey Salsa]

I'm on you. I'm on you now because I don't know where you parked outside, but if you're from the 90s and you're parking today, I'm gonna have to issue a ticket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or a park anywhere.

[Joey Salsa]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

She can't park anywhere.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, not if, if you come from the 90s, you can't park here.

[Scott Aukerman]

You expect time travelers to just drive around in an endless circle.

[Joey Salsa]

They could be walking. I don't, I, I, I don't, I don't care where, where they're going.

[Zosia Mamet]

Wait, can I ask a question?

[Joey Salsa]

Yes.

[Zosia Mamet]

So if you time travel.

[Joey Salsa]

Yes. Don't.

[Zosia Mamet]

Can you time travel San's vehicle?

[Joey Salsa]

Of course.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Oh, okay.

[Zosia Mamet]

So that's. So you basically want all time travelers to time travel without a vehicle.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody can.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you can time travel with a vehicle.

[Joey Salsa]

Vehicle, yeah. Well, I mean, if you do, you can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but you can bring one over.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can. You can bring one over.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's not just Organic.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, let's say you're time traveling and you want to do a road trip. Like, that's not my problem. You can drive around all day. You can. You drive wherever you want you. But you can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

But your road trips have to take place within one calendar day. You can never park, and then you have to go back. This isn't much of a road trip.

[Joey Salsa]

Hold on, hold on.

[Scott Aukerman]

What, are we going to Palm Springs?

[Joey Salsa]

You can park. Park where? Where it's legal.

[Scott Aukerman]

You get this is what I'm saying. You can park where it's.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, I'm not going to issue a ticket if you're. If you're. If you're parking, like, you know, in a Best Western parking lot, like, I can't go in there and just like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because it sounded to me like you were trying to say that you never wanted time travelers to ever park anywhere.

[Joey Salsa]

I. In an illegal zone.

[Scott Aukerman]

In an illegal.

[Joey Salsa]

I do not want them to park in an illegal zone outside of their time.

[Scott Aukerman]

This.

[Joey Salsa]

Is this really that complicated?

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's my question. This is. It's a question of redundancy.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't we have parking enforcement people? We already out there.

[Zosia Mamet]

That's my question. Like, do you ever do the now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go ahead. Okay, taking credit for my question mark. Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Zosia Mamet]

I just got so excited because I.

[Joey Salsa]

Want to know the answer. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I got the answer.

[Zosia Mamet]

Well, because. Do you guys, like, is there infighting between your department and the NOW parking.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, so enforcers, technically, for me, all those tickets have already been issued. So, like, from where I am, I can see all the tickets that were already issued today.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you already know if you've given someone a ticket?

[Joey Salsa]

Yes, if I've given them a ticket, then I definitely have to get there to give them the ticket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Yeah, but. But so you have a list of all the tickets you've already given in.

[Joey Salsa]

The past and we'll give in the future. Unless they take place in the future of where I'm from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it. Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

And then I have to travel. I have to travel forward, and that's exhausting.

[Scott Aukerman]

But my question is.

[Joey Salsa]

Yes. What's your.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I think our questions actually did different.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are there not people already taking care of people who are parking illegally? Why do we need you?

[Joey Salsa]

Because those tickets have already been issued. So, like. Okay, hold up. Can you get a ticket for two weeks ago today?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a fascinating question.

[Joey Salsa]

You can't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I suppose I could be mailed one.

[Joey Salsa]

You can't. If you parked illegally two weeks ago. You got the ticket on that day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

So if somebody goes back and travels to that time and they.

[Scott Aukerman]

All of those tickets had already been issued.

[Joey Salsa]

They've already been issued. So I gotta be there to issue the new tickets for the past date.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it. Okay. I'm on board now.

[Joey Salsa]

All right, great. You are off board.

[Scott Aukerman]

To be honest, I was considering the off ramp and.

[Joey Salsa]

No, no, no. It's all above board.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's all above board.

[Joey Salsa]

It's all above board.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stephanie, you have a question?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, I just. I want to. It feels essential to circle back to the corn dogs.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, yes. Thank you.

[Joey Salsa]

So if you want corn dogs, it's. You can have a bun.

[Scott Aukerman]

And no, she doesn't mean hot dogs made out of corn.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh.

[Stephanie Hsu]

She means in the 90s.

[Joey Salsa]

In the 90s.

[Stephanie Hsu]

In the nineties. We have presently.

[Joey Salsa]

I love this. I love seeing anybody else from the biz. It's great.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yeah. You know, it takes one to no one. We have this company, Hot Dog on a Stick, where people dress in little hats in blue, yellow and red. And they serve you corn dogs, which is a hot dog wrapped in cornmeal. Cornmeal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

And taste like a cornbread dog.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Deep fried. But it is a hot dog. But it's on a stick and it's a corn bun.

[Joey Salsa]

I am sorry to say those do not exist.

[Zosia Mamet]

Wait, question, though. Could you get a hot dog? Corn dog?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, it would taste like a.

[Scott Aukerman]

It would taste like a corn dog.

[Joey Salsa]

You could get a corn dog inside of the hot dog.

[Zosia Mamet]

Right.

[Joey Salsa]

But you can't get the. Unless you're gonna buy another hot dog and wrap it around the first hot dog to make it into whatever you were talking about then.

[Stephanie Hsu]

No, the dictatorship in 2076 sounds severe.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, it's.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a one world government. It's one.

[Joey Salsa]

It's one government. It's not exactly a dictatorship. It's. It's sort of like in that. In between where we vote, but it doesn't, like, mean anything, you know, like one of those guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

But on the other hand, everything was burning, so, you know, like, you kind of like, grateful for your hot dogs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, it sounds kind of grim, doesn't it?

[Zosia Mamet]

Sounds just like very meat. Lanky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. If everyone has.

[Joey Salsa]

It doesn't have to be meat. You could have a vegetable hot dog.

[Zosia Mamet]

Do you ever like, miss? Well, I guess.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Do you.

[Zosia Mamet]

Do you know anything else you've never not had?

[Joey Salsa]

I mean, I've had food from here because I, I, you know, I hate.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, but you don't know what a corn dog is.

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I. I haven't gone back to the 90s recently.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never been to the 90s?

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, girl, you have to go recently. I have, but also, it sounds like I can't. I have to go to store to get this thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a mall.

[Joey Salsa]

They're everywhere. Yeah, you have to go in. They're only available in a mall, typically.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Next to a Cinnabon. Have you had a Cinnabon or.

[Joey Salsa]

No, I haven't had that either.

[Zosia Mamet]

Or a Wetzel's Pretzel?

[Joey Salsa]

No. None of these foods.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've never been in. In a mall?

[Joey Salsa]

I've never. I. Apparently, I've never been in a mall, Indoor mall. I've. I've gone shopping in the 90s. I know those things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where'd you go shopping?

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, I went to. It's like. It's a Levi's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, we. Yeah, we still have Levi's.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay. Well, I went to one of those. It's crazy. You got all these different kinds of pants.

[Zosia Mamet]

What kind of pants do you guys have?

[Joey Salsa]

We got one kind of pants.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just one kind of pants.

[Joey Salsa]

Because of the ship, the streamlining, everything is streamlined again. It makes everybody. It's easy. It's kind of like going to. You call them a private school. So, like, everybody got like a. Like a uniform?

[Scott Aukerman]

Catholic school or something?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, Catholic school. Everybody's. Everybody's wearing the uniforms. But it. But it makes it so that you don't know who's rich and who's poor. It's kind of like that. But in the future and you're eating.

[Scott Aukerman]

A hot dog, are there people who go forward in time?

[Joey Salsa]

Huh? Of course. Yeah, I go forward in time.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, sure. But I mean, like, people. People. Who are you talking about?

[Joey Salsa]

Living? It sounds like you're asking me if people are alive because everybody's going forward in time all the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess we all have our own personal time machines. Our bodies, we just move very slowly.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What was your question, though?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

My question is if it's so bad, it sounds terrible where you're from.

[Joey Salsa]

No, it's nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's nice. It's nice eating hot dogs every day, every meal, three times a day.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay, so that's like saying, oh, you've got to eat food three times a day. It's not the same flavor every time. It's just a format.

[Zosia Mamet]

Has anyone died from the hot dog?

[Joey Salsa]

No, as far as I know. I mean, like, I don't I don't scour the news looking for, like, how did people die?

[Scott Aukerman]

I just think the hot dog is a particular foodstuff that has a very particular shape, which is the shape of a throat. And I would imagine the choking hazards.

[Joey Salsa]

Hold on a second.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on.

[Stephanie Hsu]

They're still chewing in the future.

[Joey Salsa]

Wait a minute. There is still chewing in the future. And also, I think you need to go to a hospital. If your throat is exactly a hot dog shape.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the only food that is exactly shaped like the throat, is it not?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Some would say it's like other things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good point.

[Joey Salsa]

You are telling us a very strange story about yourself right now. I just want. I just want you to know the descriptive details that you are. That you are, like, hyper fixated on are a questionable sort. But yeah. Is the throat hot dog shaped? I've never heard a doctor say that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Be weird if a doctor said that to anyone.

[Joey Salsa]

It's weird if you said it to anybody and you said it to all of us.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's true. Well, this is. I mean, this is fascinating stuff. So are you here to. To arrest someone or.

[Joey Salsa]

I don't arrest. That's a time cop. I just issued tickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Or you're here to give.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, I'm here for my. So I'm giving this week's tickets for the. For the travelers who are here in town and they're parking in the wrong areas. And honestly, in Los Angeles, it's a lot of tickets. So, like, I, you know, after this, I got so many rounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you stay here in real time?

[Joey Salsa]

Are you asking me if I'm physically here right now?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, no, no. What I'm saying is, like, do you give a ticket?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jump forward in time to the next ticket so you get it all done. I mean, you've heard of Real Time with Bill Maher?

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, no, I've never heard of this. I have never heard of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

But.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I'm sad to hear it doesn't survive the future.

[Joey Salsa]

I am from significantly far into the future, so. So maybe it's still around. I don't know. Maybe it's one of those things.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who knows at this point?

[Joey Salsa]

But yes. So I. You. What you're asking me is, do I expend the time travel energy to bounce from car to car in the present for you?

[Scott Aukerman]

So it takes energy.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah. Time travel's not. It doesn't just like, I'm not like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this like, AI, where it takes billions of dollars just to keep this up and running?

[Joey Salsa]

I mean, it's a significant electricity.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know what dollars are, by the way?

[Joey Salsa]

Dollars? Yeah, I know what a dollar is.

[Scott Aukerman]

You do? What is it?

[Joey Salsa]

It's the cash that you use today.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, what do you use? This is crypto in the future, I'm guessing. No, no, just dogecoin.

[Joey Salsa]

We.

[Alexa Melrose]

We.

[Joey Salsa]

It's mostly a barter system. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a barter system again. Really helps when you simplify the economy. So barter system is. Is basically, you know, you go in and you trade something for a hot dog and you get a hot dog back.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Like my uniform for a hot dog. But everybody has the same uniform.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, you wouldn't want to do that, right?

[Stephanie Hsu]

But maybe a condiment.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, like. Oh, what's that? That place with the desert that you all do.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Joshua Tree.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think you're talking Coachella.

[Joey Salsa]

The one with Burning Man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, burning. That one.

[Joey Salsa]

That one. It's like that. It's like that with the goggles and all that. Except you. Except it's really nice and you just trade whatever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Nicer than Burning Man?

[Joey Salsa]

I don't know. I've never been. But I've only seen photos and it's dirty as far as I can tell.

[Scott Aukerman]

You gotta go.

[Joey Salsa]

Do I?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. Chris Rock went there once.

[Joey Salsa]

Not a lot of tickets to issue in Burning Man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I can only imagine. Not a lot of times there.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, I. It's great to hear that you're here for this week then.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, I'm here for the week.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do I get a ticket or are you giving me one?

[Joey Salsa]

No, no, no. You've already got your tickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm not a time traveler. That's right, I forgot. But Stephanie, she's from the 90s. You know that noise everyone made in the 90s?

[Joey Salsa]

Is that like an owl or what.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kind of some sort of wildlife creature?

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's like. Yeah, no, it's a person in the 90s referencing a disco sound of the 70s.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, right. Because everything's on these like 20 year cycles.

[Stephanie Hsu]

We have movies.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Do you have movies in the future?

[Joey Salsa]

I don't think so. If you.

[Zosia Mamet]

You don't think so.

[Joey Salsa]

Are you talking about the big thing on the big screen? Yeah, the silver. No, no, no, no.

[Zosia Mamet]

Do you have television? Have they reinvented cable?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have peacock?

[Joey Salsa]

You. You. I mean, we just. I do know what a peacock is and they do survive, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, thank God.

[Joey Salsa]

But what? So if you're asking me what entertainment is after this sort of AI bloom that you guys go through in the next 10 years, then entertainment becomes a little bit more artisanal, and it becomes a little bit like live performance. Comes into your house and they do a little show, and generally that's, you know, you're trading for something, so you give them something in return.

[Scott Aukerman]

Some hot dogs you might happen to have.

[Joey Salsa]

Have? Yeah, you have hot dogs in your house.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems like whoever controls the hot dogs controls the world's economy.

[Joey Salsa]

The government? Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

So the government controls the hot dogs?

[Joey Salsa]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

And they're making you barter. They're not just giving free hot dogs. This doesn't sound like a good government.

[Joey Salsa]

How would does your economy, does it work? Just that they give everything away down? I don't think that's how it works.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's still capitalism, or does everything go to the government?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, everything goes through the government.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

So.

[Scott Aukerman]

But it, I don't like this.

[Joey Salsa]

It's, it's not bad.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who pays you?

[Joey Salsa]

Who pays me? The government. I'm a government worker.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a government employee.

[Zosia Mamet]

I'm gonna get paid in hot dogs?

[Joey Salsa]

No, no, no, no. I, I, I get paid in barter credits.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, so there is money.

[Joey Salsa]

What I mean, yeah, because I can't spend, I can't barter for things here.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said it was the barter system and they're giving barter credits. Yeah, that's money.

[Joey Salsa]

Wait, what is money to you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Money is like an idea, essentially, but it's, it's like a, a promissory note.

[Joey Salsa]

It's like a. Oh, it's like a displaced barter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Joey Salsa]

Oh, yeah. Then we got money.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got money. Okay, good. All right, fantastic. Well, look, we, I'm afraid we have to take a break, but Alexa Melrose, just fascinating here. How many tickets you gonna, gonna write this week?

[Joey Salsa]

I have three, 400, something like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

400 tickets?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got a full plate.

[Joey Salsa]

It's a popular time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got a full plate full of hot dogs. We're gonna have to take a break, but when we come back, we're gonna have a musician. Do you like music?

[Joey Salsa]

I love music.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What about you, Shu and Shaw?

[Stephanie Hsu]

I love music.

[Scott Aukerman]

You love music. Really? There's the proof of the pudding is right there in the crust. All right, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we'll have more with Stephanie Hsu and Sasha Mamet. We'll have more from Alexa Melrose plus a musician packed show. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this.

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[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy Bang Bang we're back. We have Sasha Mamet. We also have Stephanie, Hsu Shu and Shaw of course, as they are more commonly known. We do want to get to know our next guest though he has been on the show before. He's a musician and a songwriter.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, I think by PR person might have actually messed up that what happened. Well, I'm not actually. I'm a musician. I'm more of a songwriter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Songwriter. So you don't play music?

[Alexa Melrose]

No, I don't. I'm Elton John. But the other guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bernie Taupin.

[Alexa Melrose]

Right. But I want to be as famous as Elton John.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I wouldn't consider Bernie Taupin to be a musician.

[Alexa Melrose]

Right, Exactly. And that's who I am. So if you want to talk to your PR person who books this show, they seem to have made a mistake there.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're a lyric.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yes, I would say I'm an ideas man. I am a creative.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, but you want to be as famous as Elton John.

[Alexa Melrose]

Correct.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you don't sing the songs.

[Alexa Melrose]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't perform.

[Alexa Melrose]

I will for the pitch, of course Anything for the pitch, as we say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it. Joey Salsa is here. Joey Salsa. Hello, Joey.

[Alexa Melrose]

Hey. Great to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Joey, last time you were on the show, you came on, you were writing a musical. That's right.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah. So I have some failed musicals that I've tried. I had Alexander the Great. Not the one you're thinking of. Hamilton. It was about Alexander Hamilton. Apparently. There's a whole thing about it. So then I tried to write about my own history, life that I've done, you know, things I lived. I lived in the 90s. I didn't want to pay Rent. I wrote about that, you know, other. I was like.

[Scott Aukerman]

Were you saying a lot?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah. In the 90s? Yeah, it was in the 90s. So that was in every song.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Naturally.

[Alexa Melrose]

Naturally. That's what we did back then. We Talked about the 70s in song and anyway. But you kept saying, part of the thing that was maybe throwing me off was that maybe my. My stepson was writing my music. And you kept saying, it's like almost. I think your quote was like, it's almost like these are karaoke tracks, is what you would often say.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it seemed to the untrained ear, and I'm not saying that my ear is trained in the least, but it seemed to me like you were coming in with songs that had already been written from these musicals, karaoke tracks that you were professing to write from shows like Rent and Hamilton, and you were just adding kind of your own new lyrics to them. But you're here to say that you're. Who is it?

[Alexa Melrose]

Your stepson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your stepson? Yeah. You're married to someone who had a.

[Alexa Melrose]

She left me, but I kept the son. So. Yeah. So I think part of it was. I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

How old is his stepson?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, he's like. I think in his 20s. Currently. We're not on the best terms. Well. Cause I'm not letting him write the music anymore. And this was kind of, you know, this is our way of getting out of the studio that we live in. And so.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're getting out of the studio into the studio.

[Alexa Melrose]

Wow. Is that kind of. Can I write that down?

[Scott Aukerman]

Studio experience? Yeah, yeah, write it down. Whatever you need to do.

[Alexa Melrose]

It'll eventually. I bet that'll fit eventually in my life. Yeah. And so. And so what I would. I was like, I gotta write something new. I'm writing to the music he's given me. You know, I would write about my time in an orphanage, and I had a great time, but he gives me a song. Bom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bom, bom, bom, bom.

[Alexa Melrose]

You know, I can't help but that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sounds like it's a hard knock line.

[Alexa Melrose]

That's what I wrote. Those are the exact words that I wrote. I should have wrote like, it's a nice time, but the music was leading me.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's hard to write a musical about people just having nice times, right?

[Alexa Melrose]

True. Fair. Good point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stephanie, you were on Broadway, were you not, in the SpongeBob?

[Stephanie Hsu]

I was. I was on Broadway twice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Twice. What was the other time?

[Stephanie Hsu]

It was SpongeBob SquarePants. The musical was my debut. And then a musical called Be More Chill.

[Alexa Melrose]

See, that sounds like a fun, just a nice time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I mean, did people take their own advice in this musical? Were they more chill or.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, interestingly enough, it was about a teenager named Jeremy here who finds out about this pill from Japan called a squip. And he wanted to take the pill because it would tell you it would plant a supercomputer in your brain to tell you what to do. And he had a big crush on a girl in his high school, and he wanted the right things to say.

[Scott Aukerman]

This sounds like a hot dog situation. Do you have a hot dog like this? It gives you the brain of a computer. What?

[Joey Salsa]

What? Do I have a hot dog that gives me the brain of a computer?

[Scott Aukerman]

What I'm saying, Alexa, is not that much more ridiculous than what you've said.

[Joey Salsa]

I haven't said anything ridiculous. I've only told truths.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Joey Salsa]

And it sounds to me like you're asking me if somebody could take a pill and put a supercomputer in your brain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. Is there a hot dog for this?

[Joey Salsa]

There's no. You don't eat a food to put a computer in your brain, now, do you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, apparently there was a pill that did it.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, a vitamin is a form.

[Joey Salsa]

A vitamin is.

[Alexa Melrose]

Everyone says that now? Yeah, everyone says that now. Vitamins are forms of computers.

[Scott Aukerman]

They sell them at the Apple store.

[Joey Salsa]

First off, I feel attacked because you're all getting on to me about what a vitamin is, what a hot dog is, and whether it puts computers in your brain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Four other people have the are on the exact same page. It doesn't mean that they're being, you know, we're attacking you.

[Joey Salsa]

You cannot eat a hot dog and have a computer put in your brain. Where I'm from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fine.

[Joey Salsa]

It must be a lost technology because it sounds like you could do it today.

[Alexa Melrose]

Great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does this help you at all, Joey Salsa?

[Alexa Melrose]

I actually had two pitches. I'm glad that this, too, because the first one you described, exactly word for word, that was my original.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Alexa Melrose]

But I have a second one you can pivot. Okay, yes, I'm available. So I was like, if I keep doing things people have done before, how do I guarantee I pitch something that's never been done before? And so what I came up with was take something that's already been done before and then change it a little bit. Right? So everyone, like, everyone has seen the wizard of Oz, right? Movie that exists. Everyone agrees that's a movie that already exists. So what I've done.

[Scott Aukerman]

We gotta ask Alexa here. Have you seen the wizard of Oz?

[Joey Salsa]

I did see it when it was released.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, like, in between parking tickets, you just fit in two hours?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alexa Melrose]

Someone came over to your house and performed it in front of you?

[Stephanie Hsu]

You.

[Joey Salsa]

No, I. I saw it when it was released.

[Alexa Melrose]

Oh, of course. Yes. I'm sorry.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Did you go to the part two of the Wizard?

[Joey Salsa]

Wait, there's a part two?

[Scott Aukerman]

There's not a part two of the Wizard? You're thinking of Wicked, of course.

[Alexa Melrose]

What's that?

[Joey Salsa]

Sorry, No, I saw. I saw part one of the wizard of Oz in the 30s. I. I never saw the.

[Scott Aukerman]

They never made a part two.

[Zosia Mamet]

In theaters.

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, in theaters.

[Alexa Melrose]

Wow. Wow.

[Joey Salsa]

It was so incredible.

[Zosia Mamet]

Oh, man.

[Joey Salsa]

Also, lots of tickets being sold. I mean, of movies. Not. Not like parking tickets being sold.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't sell parking tickets, right?

[Joey Salsa]

No, you don't sell parking tickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

You give them.

[Joey Salsa]

You get paid for the parking tickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just wanted to make sure.

[Stephanie Hsu]

With barter points.

[Joey Salsa]

Yes.

[Alexa Melrose]

So if you're like me, when you saw wizard of Oz, you probably thought, who is the Scarecrow having sex with? Right? So what I've done is I've made a. Joey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Joey, back up one second.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who is the Scarecrow having sex with? Yeah.

[Alexa Melrose]

When you see wizard of Oz, right? You see, you're introduced to all the characters. See him walk down the.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love the wizard of Oz.

[Alexa Melrose]

Right? Okay, so the first one you meet Scarecrow, who's that guy sleeping with? Right. Everyone has had that thought. So what I've done is I've taken that thought and I've made a whole musical about that. Okay, so it is. This is. So I started. And so this is like the wizard of Oz, but it's a little different. It's called who's that Scarecrow Sleeping With.

[Scott Aukerman]

You need a better title. If you just say right now, great. You gotta punch that up.

[Alexa Melrose]

I'm open to punches. So it starts. We're establishing back, like, this is kind of like before the story a little bit where, you know, the Wicked Witch is dead by the house and the elves start coming out. I call them elves. They don't like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

But they don't care. They don't even like Munchkins. You notice it's not really said all that much in Wicked.

[Alexa Melrose]

What's that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Nevermind. Anyway, continue with what you're gonna say.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay. Are you sure? Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Am I sure that I. Yes, I am.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay. So anyway, they come out and they're like, good news, the witch, she's dead. You know, come out, come out. Good news, she's dead. The Witch of the wits is dead. The wickedest witch there ever was, the enemy of all of his here and us is dead. Good news, bad news. Kevin broke up with Shilly. Shilly, that's. It's a name that. Bad News. Everyone wanted them to make it work, but it's not gonna happen. But that's okay. Good news, free chocolate cake and ice cream. Bad news, it comes in a bun. Good news, you can remove the bun and eat it the way you want to. Bad news, I only have two to give away and there's a lot more people than two in line. Good news.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Joey, Joey, Joey.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, let's talk about the good.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good news. Good news, you would say.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's always intriguing to hear a fresh new take on a classic wizard of Oz, deconstructing it once again.

[Alexa Melrose]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Into something new. This is a fresh take. I enjoy that.

[Alexa Melrose]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, the bad news.

[Alexa Melrose]

Oh, perfect. Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just constructive critics.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

And feel free to join in here.

[Alexa Melrose]

Or more good news, if you want more good. Doesn't have to all be bad, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, sure, sure. But it gets. First of all, I don't think that the two things are really equitable of the Wicked Witch being dead. And then. Who is it? Kevin breaking up with Shilly.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Zosia Mamet]

Who's Shilly?

[Scott Aukerman]

Who are Kevin and Shilly? Is Kevin the.

[Alexa Melrose]

Oh, I'm just trying to establish. This is the first. Maybe I didn't make this is the first song. So I'm just trying to establish a town.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Is Kevin the scarecrow?

[Alexa Melrose]

No, no, no. It's just like there's, you know, there's a town.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are elves.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, these are elves.

[Joey Salsa]

So these people, they're like, oh, that woman's dead also, Right?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is like the town crier. First he does the headlines, then he does the gossip pages.

[Zosia Mamet]

But Kevin and Shelley must be important in the town. If we're talking about their breakup, yeah, you'd think so.

[Alexa Melrose]

But no, they're never mentioned again in the whole thing. So it's just kind of trying to show, like. It's almost like I'm kind of visualizing like a pan shot, like a crane. And so we're not gonna like you a Broadway show? Well, no, that's the thing. I figured I kept getting busted doing Broadway shows, so let me do a movie. Do a movie first, and then I can't do something that's been done before.

[Scott Aukerman]

One other thing of note that I just wanted to bring up is it seems to me like you're bringing up in the future that we're all gonna be eating hot dogs, which I don't know how you knew this, Right?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, I know. That is crazy. That is actually crazy that that was in the song. But, yeah, that's just like, I guess, creative flow. Sometimes you just start writing and you connect almost into, like, another world, perhaps. It just starts flowing through your pen.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think, Alexa?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, I want to say either he just wrote that lyric right now, or this musical becomes very popular, and it becomes so popular that it gives them the idea to do it a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like how on Star Trek, their communicators with the flip inspired our own flip phones.

[Joey Salsa]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Interesting.

[Joey Salsa]

Or like the little badge.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? I actually don't think it's possible for him to have just written that right now.

[Alexa Melrose]

Impossible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Alexa Melrose]

Those lyrics. No way.

[Stephanie Hsu]

So.

[Joey Salsa]

So then maybe this. This becomes a huge hit.

[Scott Aukerman]

This could be a huge hit.

[Joey Salsa]

And then in the future, the one where the government's like, oh, we should do the thing from the song.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're right. Okay. So, yeah.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay. Loving this. And also, this is a longer song. This is just the first part. So pretty quickly it goes into the second part that. Where it's kind of. We're like. We're all establishing that, like, no one mourns the Wicked. No one cares. They won't return. No one lays a lily on their grave. No one mourns the Wicked. Except for this one guy named Brian. He's always at home mourning the Wicked. If you call Brian on a Tuesday and you say, what are you doing? He'll say, morning, Ronald Reagan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay, wait, wait. Ronald Reagan? Do they have Ronald Reagan and Oz?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, in this one. Yeah. There's a whole list. We go through a lot. We start strong.

[Scott Aukerman]

This the United States Ronald Reagan. Or is this a munchkin? Ronald Reagan?

[Alexa Melrose]

They prefer the term elf in this version. This actually. No, this is I think they're talking about the Ronald Reagan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Alexa Melrose]

It's like a statement. I think. I think I'm. I think I actually know I'm making a statement.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are the writers. Yeah. Yeah. You would know whether you're.

[Alexa Melrose]

I'm making a statement. And so I start strong with that one to kind of get him going, like, whoa, he's wicked. And then I keep. And I just, like, list a bunch of people that. And then, like, what he's doing on his date. And like, I. I'm in a band with this guy Brian, and I'm like, what should we name the band? Of course he wants to name him Mourning the Wicked. It's like, is that the only thing you do, Brian?

[Stephanie Hsu]

You know, again, Mr. Salsa, I do have a question. So you were saying that you're a huge fan of the wizard of Oz.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yes, big time. Yes.

[Stephanie Hsu]

So am I mistaken that this is sounding a lot. Have you seen Wicked?

[Alexa Melrose]

What? What's that? What did you say? What's that one?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wicked.

[Alexa Melrose]

Like the intro that John Travolta gave at the Tonys that one year. Wikileak. Talented.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, it's Adele Dazeem. Yeah, that's what it was. A play on words. Because Adele Dazeem, who, as far as I'm concerned, should have rebranded as Adele Dazeem immediately after that because it's the best thing to ever happen. But she was being called wickedly talented because she starred in a Broadway musical called Wicked, which is based upon the wizard of Oz.

[Alexa Melrose]

Oh, my gosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

And a lot of these songs sound eerily similar to Wicked songs.

[Alexa Melrose]

You're saying I did it again?

[Scott Aukerman]

Not in the way that I would say, like, wow, you did it again. More of a you did this again.

[Alexa Melrose]

Well, because when I get the idea, I just. I zone in on the idea. I just get away from media, I get away from news, I get away from. From my stepson who's like, where's the food? You know?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Alexa Melrose]

And. And so you gotta feed your stepson. Yeah. He's in his 20s. For. To be fair to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, true.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's staying with you?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah. I did promise him food. Okay. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, maybe you have some different songs.

[Alexa Melrose]

Maybe you've.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe it's veered off into a totally different direction.

[Alexa Melrose]

The intro, I'm sure. Because, yes, the intro is probably. That's how you're gonna establish the story. Everyone's gonna have those songs. Right. But as you get into it later. So my whole thing is there's two different witches who are trying to sleep with the scarecrow. Right. So at first, they're not friends in my version. Not sure about the thing you're talking about. But in my version, they're not friends. And then one of them. They become friends, and one of them's like, I'm going to help you out. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. This is almost beat for minus the scarecrow.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay, all right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Beat for beat. What happens in Wicked, but go ahead.

[Alexa Melrose]

Anyway, so one of them's like. She decides to help her. She's like, you. You will be popular. You're gonna be popular. I'll teach you the proper pose when you talk to boys little ways. Yeah. Why is that?

[Stephanie Hsu]

That's. That's your. That's your version.

[Alexa Melrose]

Why is that?

[Stephanie Hsu]

That's a rewrite.

[Alexa Melrose]

Oh, okay. Yeah, that's how I say in the original.

[Stephanie Hsu]

It's poison, boys.

[Alexa Melrose]

Oh, okay.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Yeah, I like. I like pose and bones.

[Alexa Melrose]

I'm glad that we're already. I'm glad we're already making differences.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're already diverging. Yes. If ever so slightly.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah. Little ways to flirt and flounce. Ooh, popular. There was a study recently about Popuhoodler and all the kids in all the schools. The one factor that was the same was the people who say hi to the most kids in the hallway actually have the most friends. Because then people are saying hi back to you. And so that's actually how you become popular. And there's another study about popular.

[Scott Aukerman]

Joey, you've basically taken this song from Wicked and made it incredibly worse.

[Joey Salsa]

Okay, you know what this reminds me of?

[Scott Aukerman]

What's that?

[Joey Salsa]

It's like, kind of the way that we get the alert that something has been parked in the wrong area.

[Scott Aukerman]

How do you get the alert?

[Joey Salsa]

Well, you. Something will change.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Joey Salsa]

Like, you'll be like, oh, everything's normal. And then all of a sudden, like, a building is different. You're like, oh, I gotta go back and figure out who's parked where.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? So someone parks in the wrong place and a whole building just. Yes.

[Joey Salsa]

The butterfly effect. Except it's a parking. Parking enforcement effect.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where were you gonna say zah?

[Zosia Mamet]

No, it's the same question. Like, wow, we're on the same page. Think. Think again about it. Parking in the wrong spot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Joey Salsa]

But that's what this reminds me of. It feels like this is. This is. Feels like a different. Like some. Somebody parked in the wrong area. And now. And now Wicked sounds like this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just think that this song is better without all the statistics about recent studies.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Because Again. Yeah. I get into a study that's actually kind of sad after that. So a good, good place to cut it.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I want to know what the. What the sad study is.

[Alexa Melrose]

Oh, well, it's actually just a true study. It's like popular boys who mature faster are looked at as leaders. Where girls who mature faster are looked at sexualized and getting drugs and alcohol and drop out at higher rates. That's cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, no, we don't. I don't think there should be a lyric in this at all.

[Alexa Melrose]

It's just a true thing.

[Zosia Mamet]

It's not super catchy.

[Alexa Melrose]

Catchy. Yeah. No, that's the part. That one I am trying to make another lesson. This is another point I'm trying to make in that one about popular.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you have another song?

[Alexa Melrose]

I do, yeah. I got. Well, because we gotta end it, right? We gotta get to the end. And I'm choosing.

[Scott Aukerman]

We've only done two songs at this point. I'm worried that you're cutting right to the end.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay, well, no, I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I'm also glad.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay, great. Yeah. Again. Because I think like the middle stuff is like. I got stuff. There's like, you know, there's a goat who teaches classes. And it's like, what's up with that guy that's in Wicked? Okay, well, I don't know what to tell you. It's in mine as well. And so we gotta have a big thing. And then I'm actually. When I say it's the ending, it's actually really more like the middle. Or it's probably like the 2 3rd part. But most of the best songs are in this part. And then there is gonna be another part that not as many good songs are in there. Enough qualifiers. So it's gonna get, you know, a big thing. And all of a sudden. And she's got a broom in her hand. She'd never touched a broom before. This is important. And she's like, it's time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying gravity. Because it's 4 o'clock and that's the witching hour. I haven't had lunch. But I need to try to defy my gravity. If it was 3:30, that's 30 minutes too early to try dry Dry gravity. And if it's 4:30, that's a little late. Cause parents are coming home from work. But 4pm is the perfect time to try to fly the gravity ghost. Cause then it is the time I try to fly away. And then it ends up there's a note at the end where she's like, 4:00, I can't hit it. But again, that's why I'm more of. I'm not Elton John, you know, I'm Bernie. But it would be like 4:00, you know, something like that. Yes, that's it. Did I just find my Elton John?

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you wanted to be Elton John.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, but I mean, you can be the one who sings the songs, but then you'd be the Bernie and then I could be the Elton John.

[Stephanie Hsu]

I honestly, I just stole the riff from Wicked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. The aforementioned Adele. Dazeem.

[Alexa Melrose]

This is crazy.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is the song she sings. This is what? This is like her signature song.

[Alexa Melrose]

Every time I write about my life, life, I write about when I was a con man, pretend to be a music man in small towns. And that's been done before.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, do you think the parents buy the instruments in the Music Man? Yeah, they did, but through Harold Hill. Right?

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is settling an argument.

[Alexa Melrose]

And you know, because it's like 76 trombones led the big parade. And that's way too many trombones because it's a small town.

[Scott Aukerman]

Too many for a small town. And 110 clarinets.

[Alexa Melrose]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't even want to hear that many clarinets. I maybe want to hear.

[Alexa Melrose]

I know we had like one kid left to do drums and it's like no one wanted trumpet. Why? Everyone's one kid, like popular kid picked a trumpet.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, I don't mean to get off on this, but our main point is this song is in Wicked.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay. Yeah. Well, I guess I'm screwed again.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. Yeah, I just. There are too many similarities to Wicked with this. I think. Joey, again, you've done it again, but in a bad way.

[Alexa Melrose]

Well, my son did write one. He did give me music for one song. It's like about how they both. Both like the scarecrow, if you have it. This is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you sent me this, this piece of music. You want me to play this? Yeah, this is for a. And your son in law. This wrote this.

[Alexa Melrose]

This is. This is a song he made.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Alexa Melrose]

They're both talking about the scarecrow. And one of them. Well, it explains. All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, let's hear this then.

[Alexa Melrose]

So one of them likes the scarecrow, but the other one's actually with the scarecrow. And so this is one of the witches singing about the other scarecrow and kind of dealing with her feelings towards how she feels about the scarecrows. That's what this song is all about.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would have rather just heard the intro music.

[Alexa Melrose]

I wanna suck, I wanna fuck. I wanna suck him. I wanna fuck, I wanna suck. I wanna fuck him. I wanna take him off that pole and flip his butt around and put my butt next to his butt. Blow bubble. I just invented that. That's right. And get away from him. I wanna suck, I wanna fuck with Scarecrow.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Joey. Joey.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is the. You've brought this song every time you've been on the show. Okay. This is the Hamilton song.

[Alexa Melrose]

No, yeah, you're right. I'm just trying to repurpose. Cause it's such a good song. So I'm just trying to find it. Just trying to find a place for it in everything that I write.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, Joey. No, I'm sorry, this is terrible. Yeah, you've done it again in a bad way.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But feel free to come back and keep trying.

[Alexa Melrose]

Okay? Yeah. Thank you. You.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, guys, we are running out of time, I'm so sorry to say, but we only have time for one final feature. That is of course, a little something called Plugs. Something in the plug you plug attracts me like no other sponsor. Something in the pl you plug. We want to support you now, so go on and tell us how. Ooh, beautiful. That was Something in the Plugs by Shane Larue. Thank you to Shane Larue. If you have a Plugs theme, head over to cbb world.com plugs and upload it. This is where, of course, you'll find all of our recent stems for the remixes that you are free to submit. Head over there and submit it and you can be famous for a week. Shane Larue, you are indeed famous. This week only. All right, guys, what do we want to plug? Sean, Shu, do you want to plug separately? You want to plug together?

[Stephanie Hsu]

I'm still imagining the Scarecrow being fucked.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, exactly.

[Stephanie Hsu]

As if it were a corn dog. Was honestly what was in my mind when you were talking about how do.

[Scott Aukerman]

You fuck corn dogs?

[Stephanie Hsu]

Removing it from the pole.

[Alexa Melrose]

Yeah, I'm willing to work with you. I think we are on the same page on a lot of this stuff here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, what are we plugging here? Shu and Shaw, obviously laid is on Peacock right now. All eight episodes, I call them apisodes for some reason, are up right now. People can watch this. It's a very funny show, very intriguing. People die in it, which is fun if you're into that. What else? Anything else to plug here? What else is coming down the old pike?

[Zosia Mamet]

I don't literally all I can think about right now is sandwiches.

[Alexa Melrose]

Promote sandwiches. Promote your favorite sandwich.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should start a sandwich shop. Or you should be like Danny DeVito and doing Jersey Mike's or whatever and, like, you know, doing commercials.

[Zosia Mamet]

Oh, yeah, he is doing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think the sandwich lobby doesn't know that you are such a huge fan. Once word gets out, let's tell them you're gonna get. You're gonna be raking in the sandwiches.

[Zosia Mamet]

I just want to be eating one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Barter points.

[Zosia Mamet]

That's really all I care about. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stephanie. What? Do you have anything to plug here?

[Stephanie Hsu]

If I could be like Sasha and have a sandwich deal? My version of a sandwich endorsement is to be the face of Diva Cups.

[Scott Aukerman]

Diva cups. What are Diva cups again?

[Alexa Melrose]

Cause I. I can take this one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yes.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Joey, plug away.

[Zosia Mamet]

Can you do it in song?

[Alexa Melrose]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You want me to play this song again for you? All right, Here you go.

[Alexa Melrose]

Some of you know tampons. Some of you know pads, perhaps. There's another thing that you don't know that can be helpful. It's called a Diva Cup. And this is a little something that you might want to use. You want to pinch it in the corners of the Diva Cup. You want to insert that diva. Where the other things go that I mentioned before, but this is a little different. It looks Will catch and change it out once a day, I think maybe a little bit more than that at some times. And you put it in the pan, and to clean it, you'll boil it off. If it's plastic, I've seen it done like that. That's a Diva Cup. Maybe. But from your response, you don't do that. But that's the way I've seen it done. But maybe it's because someone gave another one, a free one, to a friend.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Is that pretty much sum it up?

[Stephanie Hsu]

That's hot. That you know that. That's erotic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I love you got in there with some backup.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, I've been trying to land this endorsement deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so Shu and Shaw, they want to be out there doing ads for Diva cups and sandwiches. Maybe there's a. Oh, is there a cross?

[Zosia Mamet]

Is there a cross Pollination.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Maybe there's a cross pollination. It's like if a Diva cup and a sandwich became a hot dog. Shoe sponsored by Shoe and Shaw.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I love this.

[Joey Salsa]

And Adidas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Alexa, anything you want to plug here?

[Joey Salsa]

Yeah, There's a movie that comes out out 30 years from now that I absolutely love. It stars a little mushroom who's talking in a Polar bear. And it is just the best movie I've ever seen.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know that I'm gonna be.

[Joey Salsa]

Alive, but gotta see this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll try. P. Pop will try.

[Zosia Mamet]

What's it called?

[Joey Salsa]

It's called Chucky's Adventure, and it is just fantastic.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which one of them is Chucky?

[Joey Salsa]

The little mushroom guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fantastic. I want to plug that movie. It is amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. All right. And Joey Salsa, anything you want to plug?

[Alexa Melrose]

Well, my stepson's getting into improv. There's this group a Holy Improv he really likes. He watches them. They post all their shows online. They perform at Dynasty and UCB here in la. And they're gonna be at the Fringe in Scotland again this year. They tour the country. And they're also doing a new thing where they sit down with improvisers, watch a show they've done, and talk to them about, like, the choices they made on stage. So if you're interested in improv, you can check that out. They're like, oh, I didn't like I did that, or why was I wearing that shirt? You know, fun stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would think with improvisers, it would. Would be them just going like, oh, God, why did I do that the entire show?

[Alexa Melrose]

There's been occasionally people who love their choices. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to improv people. Yeah. So people who love every choice they ever make.

[Alexa Melrose]

So there's a little bit on both, a little bit of both. But you can check that out. The patreon.com holyshidimpro okay, that's great.

[Scott Aukerman]

I wanna plug. I mentioned CBB World. Go over there for. We have so many great shows. Not only the full archive of this show, every episode we've ever done, all the live tour that we did, we did 43 live episodes in 2024. You can out all of those. And so many great shows like hey, Randy With Randy Snuts and who Me with the Batman and Collegetown the Neighborhood. Listen, so many shows over there. Go check it out. Also, I am still writing the Astonishing Spider man comic for Marvel that comes out every week. You can get that on the Marvel app. All right, let's close up the old plug bag. Open the plug back with me. You gotta know it it.

[Alexa Melrose]

2025. Please don't close and be rude.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ooh, very nice. That was our first plug remix of the year. That was the Plug Child by Vic Freeze. Vic Freeze. Thank you. That was gorgeous. All right, guys. Thank you so much. This is a lovely show. I gotta thank Shu and Shaw first off the bat. Thank you so much. Continued success to you. I hope that we get another season. I hope you've slept with more guys enough for season two.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Is that a question?

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, and in your personal life, I hope you.

[Alexa Melrose]

Look.

[Scott Aukerman]

I hope everyone slept with everybody. Honestly.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Well, after that Diva cup song, is.

[Scott Aukerman]

It a daily thing or twice a.

[Stephanie Hsu]

Day thing when you're having a heavy flow? It's recommended twice a day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wonderful. These are things I gotta know if I'm gonna be a P Pop. But thank you so much. Sasha, Stephanie, so wonderful to have you both on. I hope you join the esteemed two timers club up at some point.

[Stephanie Hsu]

That's so fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Please welcome back. And then Alexa Melrose. So wonderful to have you.

[Joey Salsa]

Thank you so much. I don't care where you park in the present, but be careful where you park in the past.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Joey, it's great to have you back.

[Alexa Melrose]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you wanted to take us out with one final song.

[Alexa Melrose]

I'll do a Jennifer Hudson. Cool down if you got me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. Here we go. I think we have this music, right?

[Alexa Melrose]

So this is a song about. So there's these two witches in my musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right?

[Alexa Melrose]

Right. One of them likes the guy and then the other one likes the guy. And so this is kind of like where. Right where one of them is already with him and the other one's writing this song about like. So I wanna. I wanna suck. I wanna.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we'll see you next time. Thank you. Goodbye.

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[Scott Aukerman]

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[Alexa Melrose]

Thanks.

[Scott Aukerman]

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