← Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast
Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast
The 16th Anniversary Show! (Jason Mantzoukas, Paul F. Tompkins, Ego Nwodim, Jessica McKenna, Edi Patterson, Lily Sullivan, Tim Baltz, Dan Lippert, Will Hines, Gil Ozeri)
02:34:58
Scott celebrates the 16th Anniversary of Comedy Bang! Bang! with co-host Jason Mantzoukas, Bing Lujo, Pastor Pasta, Bruce Banner/Lil' Hulk, Bean Dip, boat boys Harris Teeter and McGarth Darby, Russ Saguaro, community activist Jim Reese, and weasel Bitsy Bottom. Comedy Bang! Bang! - we care.
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Bing Lujo
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My friend has never seen a Keanu Reeves movie. I got him up to speed. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. I mean there's so much more to go. Yeah, I mean there's decades. There's so, so much more. That's. Yeah, you're actually a bad friend. Yeah, well, I mean you're a bad friend at stop for stopping at speed considering they. They're just starting right now. I mean it's, it's not bad. I mean because you know, how many years did he have before speed? I mean, probably a solid decade. Yeah. So I mean one decade out of he's got a 40 odd grunts worth of a career. Speaking of another actor with a band, I think 40 odd feet of grunts. Oh, I'm so sorry. It was 40 odd feet of grunts. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. And this is a very special week because we are celebrating our 16th anniversary. Sweet 16, baby. Can you imagine 16 of anything? You come on like a dream. Oh, who's this? Hey guys. Hey, Shimmy, it's me, Shimmy. Hey, Shimmy. What's going on? Nothing much. Just want to say happy anniversary. Yeah, happy anniversary. Dude. Are you. Do you mean our 16th anniversary? The of the podcast? What is that happening too? That's also at which wow were you talking about. Oh, what's the anniversary again? Something that happens every year. Happy birthday. They should call it happy anniversary of your birth. Yeah, that's true. It is not my birth though day. This is not your birthday. I'm not getting born today. Oh, that's too bad. I Make it you. Yeah, wouldn't that be great if you took Christ as your savior? Baptize each other today. Bye. Hey. Jeez. Wow. It was good to see him, though, especially on this. I love to see it, especially anniversary. On an anniversary, like a bad time. He seemed to have no idea what we were celebrating, but he gave us a nice warm wishes. 16 years. So how old were you when you started this? 40. Well, I was 13, I believe, and, yeah, and now I'm 29 years old and, yeah, pretty incredible. Let me introduce you because people obviously know your voice, but they may know your name a little bit more. He is the co host of his own podcast called how did this Get Made? He is also an actor of note and he is a contestant on the season of Taskmaster Season 19, which I believe is coming out this week or so. If that's the case, then that's great news. Thank you for shouting it out. I believe it is. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas. Well, well, well, here we are all celebrating this. Your sweet 16. How long do you. You know that? Do you. How you might feel younger internally? Do you feel like the show's been going on long or are you like, oh, no, no, this is 16 years. The first episode seems like 16 years ago, but it doesn't feel like it's been going on 16 years. Does that make sense? That does make sense. The first episode on terrestrial radio. That's what we're counting. Yeah. Well, it wasn't. It was computer radio. It was computer radio. Indy131.com, I see. Was where the first episode was. And then we put it out as. As a podcast, as a lark. And now Here we are 16 years later. We. It's. It's, you know, one of the world's biggest podcasts. Oh, it is. It's the world and Animal Kingdom's biggest podcast. Also. We have a new. This is very exciting. We coined this a couple of weeks ago. We have a new tagline, Comedy Bang Bang. We care. Oh, wow. We care. We care. We care. That's right. Wow, that is great. That. That's very meaningful. That's gonna be. Because people want that right now. They do. Yeah. They need the solace in these turbulent times. And I just want everyone to know out there that at Comedy Bang Bang, we care. We may not want to hear it, but we care. It's wonderful to talk to you, but we have so many guests on the show. We need to get to them. I believe you met this gentleman in Boston. I believe so. And he Is. I mean, there's so much to say about him. He is the owner of a malt shop called Bing Lujo's Malt Shop. Oh, yeah, we heard all about it on the road. I watched the Music man with him and another pal. Yep. And that's about all I remember about him. He's a classic. He is a classic. Please welcome back to the show, Bing Lujo. Hey, happy anniversary to you. Swinging around. Yeah, I wasn't sure either. And now it's coming back. It's me, Bing Lujo. That's right. Hi, Jason. How are you? Great to see you, Bing. Good to see. Wonderful to see you, Bing. So how have you been since we watched Music Man? Hold on a second. I gotta talk about what an auspicious occasion this is. Thank you so much and congratulations. 60 years you've been doing this. 16. I don't know. That's what I said. Oh, you did? Okay. I just want to make sure there was no confusion. I've not been doing this for 60 years. 16 years. That's what I said. 60 years. All right. And I brought you. I hope you don't mind. I don't mind anyone bringing me anything. Okay. Cause here it comes. Okay. It's a special anniversary. Molten. Oh, my God, I love molten. And as you can see, it's in a container the size of a trash can. Wow. Oscar the Grouch style. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. He lived in a container the size of a trash can. It happened to be a trash can, but it was the size of one. Right. I would not drink a malted out of a trash can. Well, because it's not a trash can. No. What is it? It's a big malting cup. Is it specially made? I made it especially for you. Wow. I forged it myself in the forge. Really? Like Suitor? Who? I don't know. Justice David Suter? Sure. Surtr. Maybe. I don't know. Trying to think of Asgardian myths. Oh, well, that's made up, so don't bother. Oh, yeah, don't worry about that. If you can mispronounce all that, no one's going to get mad if you ever forget a made up thing. Who cares? Exactly. Exactly. It doesn't matter. Well, thank you so much. Do you want to. Did you bring three straws, I hope? No, I brought four straws. Oh. Who's the fourth for? Yeah, I need two. Oh, okay. I have a problem with suction. Yep, it seems like. Yeah, you have the reverse problem as well, where there's a lot of air coming Out. What do you. What do you mean? What do you mean? You mean talking? Yeah, I mean, with the way you speak, it just seems like there's a kind of a waste of air. Kind of a waste of air. Oh, it's interesting. So I'm hearing now notes. These are notes that almost sounded rude that you said, what I'm talking is a waste of air. Thank God. Thank God it was almost. Because it was not rude. Okay? So here's how you do it. Okay? This is a malted. Okay. And of course, it's very thick. It's got chunks. Oh, I love that. Just like the Goonies did. I don't understand the things that you say. I think they just had a singular chunk. We're. We're a different generation, so I understand, but why do you. Why do you say these things? Are you trying to trick me? I'm not sure. No. No. This is not any kind of a game. Yeah. I'm an old man. Okay. Yeah. And my wife just died yesterday. Wait, the last time I talked, your wife had died the day before. Oh, Bing. I'm so. So My wife. Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. She was a little late. She had a Google. Good. Long life. She had a Google long life. She Googled long life. She had one. Oh, she googled long life. And. And yet your name is Bing. I remember we were sitting on. Wow. We were sitting on the couch. She turned to me and said, I want to live a long time. And I said, google it. Yeah. And she did. And were there tips or. It just said, this is what a long life is. How long ago was that conversation? She looked at how long the oldest person lived, and she said, well, not that far. Okay. And then she knocked a few years off, and she did. Wow. How long was that? How long ago was that conversation? This conversation was last week. Oh, no. So why did she not go? Why did she knock that many years off? It made her die in a week. Oh, that's awful. I don't think she was really concentrating when she. I mean, could she have known we were watching the TV show? We were half paying attention. What was the show? Was it something that made her think that it would be great to have a long life but not too. Too long? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. Was it perhaps the movie Cocoon? Why Cocoon? What's that mean? It was a Ron Howard movie. Cocoon. Was that somebody's name? No, I don't think anyone. Is that the sound a bird makes? I don't think anyone was named Cocoon. In cocoon, in any case. Bing. It's so wonderful to have you. What flavor is this? Malt, did you say? It's black and white. It's chocolate and vanilla. I love that. And there's also some surprises in there. You know how in new orders, they do a king cake? In new order, there's what? In New Orleans, they do the King Cake. Oh, the King Cake. Oh, that's what I've heard about it. And it was like a little surprise in there. Oh, right. You get the baby. Oh, yeah. Sometimes people bake a cake. There's a coin in there. Oh, right. Sometimes in certain cultures, they'll put, like, ground glass. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Sometimes they'll put human blood in a cake. Okay. If you could take it, they put it in a cake. And whatever it is, that's the king cake. So is there something in this one that we should be. There's nothing dangerous. Okay. It's fun. So I urge you to start slurping away. All right, here we. Jason, are you ready for this? And I'll join you. Yeah. You got two of these draw? Yeah, I need two because I got a problem. Yeah. With suction, because of the chunks. All right, here we go. Ready? Chunks. Oh, my God. Bing. Are you all right? Do you need the Henderson movement? Oh, my God. As long as he's coughing, that's good. Okay. You're good? Yeah. All right. Do you need. Did you get any sort of cpr? You got a chunk? Okay, just let it. Just let it melt in there. It wasn't the prize. It was just a chunk. Is it something meltable? If it's meltable, have some water. Have some water. Yeah. Do you. Well, you know, I don't really drink water that much. Oh, okay. Okay. Water. Because the pipes are all rusty and stuff, you know what I mean? So sometimes it's good to send something else down after. Yeah. I drink Pepsi instead of water. Do you want a shot of Pepsi? Yeah, we got a shot. Maybe. What about a shot of tequila or something like that? No, no, I don't drink. Oh, that's right. I'm not a drinker. I'm a toddler. You're devout, aren't you? I can't recall. No. Or is that someone else, though? Might be somebody else. Okay. Right. Yes. Well, I pay the church, though. Oh, yeah? Prayed. Oh, yeah. Wow. It just didn't. Just didn't. It didn't. Yeah. I couldn't figure out if anything happened or not. Yeah. Oh, what did you pray for? Well, that's. That's why you have to have faith. Yeah. You know. Oh, yeah. Is that why it stinks? Did you pray for something? I did. What was it? I said when I walk outside, please let me see an elephant. And then you. That seems. Don't know whether you saw an elephant or. No, I definitely did actually know. You did not. So you. Maybe he was hiding or. Maybe. But I get prayed to see one. Well, but then you didn't put a time limit on it. You could still. You have walked outside. That is a good point. And the elephant could be. You could see it at any point. Have you been to a zoo since then and seen an elephant? That doesn't count. That's me going to the elephant. You want the elephant to come to you? I want to be walking outside and at least see an elephant. It would be great. It would be great. If God is so powerful he can't do that. Yeah, you're right. No, it would be cool. But you. So you want to see it just anecdotally in your world, like in the. In the supermarket parking lot. That's a good place, right? Yeah. Are you a fan of elephants? Why do you want this? I will call myself a fan. I think they're neat. They are neat. I mean, I don't think. Would you want to ride the elephant or is this. Do you have some unfinished business? I. I wish you hadn't said that phrase because, yes, I do have some unfinished business. With elephants or an elephant with elephants. Oh, wow. What is the unfinished business? Do you mind at the right one? Okay. I was promised when I was a child. Who. Who would promise such a thing? My daddy. Oh, wow. Mr. My dear old daddy. Wow. Did he start the malt shop? He. Is this a family business? He did not start the mall shop because he was very angry when I saw the mall shop. Wow. He said, no son of mine is ever going to make a drink with chunks. Oh, wow. And I said, I live my own life. I said, I do not want your life. Yeah. What was his. What did he do for a living? He was an assassin. Oh, wow. Anyone famous that he got? Whoa, that's so interesting. Anybody famous? Yeah. Like Osama bin Laden or Hitler? Yeah, the bigs. Any of the bigs. You think the same person who could have done Osama bin Laden could have done Hitler? No, I'm just saying one person could have done either. That would be. That would be amazing. One person. What a career. What a career. Oh, they got. Call them back for one last score. Look, we know you got Hitler. You're the best of the best. You're the only guy we can trust to do this. Bing Senior. My dad killed the Sasquatch. Oh. Oh, is that the government? The government had him do it. Oh, okay. Very political. Oh, that's a bummer. He was going to reveal a lot of political secrets. Oh, no. So Sasquatch is. Is a name? Sasquatch is. Is. That's the. That's that. His name was Thomas Sasquatch. The cryptid name Thomas. His first name was Thomas. Nobody ever calls him. I wonder why we never see pictures of him anymore. Remember that famous one of him, you know, with his arms out? He didn't like that picture. He didn't like that one. That's why you don't see pictures. It's so hard because you know when you. When you've taken pictures of yourself and you're like, I like this one, I like that one. But I hate this one. The only one that exists of him, he hates. That's terrible. And this is before. Please delete. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's like that picture was it forever. And I said, let's take another one. No, no, no, no. I don't like see myself in pictures. Yeah, this was serious. Was he on the run? Was your father like on the Lamb afterwards or the government just owned him? No. Oh, wow. And he had to run around the world forever. Oh, he might still be out there. Oh, now you're not. You don't have confirmed that. You don't. Haven't confirmed that he's passed. Not a confirmed kill of my dad death wise. And he could be. I mean, if he's still alive, he'd have to be 160 maybe. How old was he when he had you? He was an older dad, sure. Yeah, but how old? Yeah, well, I mean, I was a baby. How old are you? You don't know. You have no idea. If he was alive, he'd be 160. How. How old are you? I'm pretty up. I'm pretty. You seem older. I'm pretty up 60, so I'm older than 6. Okay, so he was like a hundred when he had you, which is pretty rad for him. Wait, if I. No, he. You. You both could be 80. Ah, that's. I guess it. I mean, that's the great thing about being a man is you can father a child at any age. Isn't that incredible? Robert De Niro knows Bobby D. That's right. Yeah. The stars of heat. Yes. Can you imagine if that they had talked about that at that diner they were sat down at. Cape Mantalini restaurant. Was that it? Cape Mantolini. It was. That's weird. Do you think. Do you think that it could be on a cutting room floor where they sell to each other? Let's have babies when we're old men. I think it might be. Yeah. I'd love to see that scene. Michael, man, let's go to lunch at Kate Mantalini and talk about the children we'd like to have, as we are octogenarians. Hopefully that'll be a scene in Heat, too. They'll just use some of that foundation. Robert, did you know he was a bad guy? And opportunity. He was the good guy. Yeah. And then he decided, truce. Let's have lunch. Yeah, let's have lunch. Yes. Hey, let's do lunch. And then. And then. And then they pitch. They pitch each other TV pilots, which, as. As is customary, if you're going to sit in one of the booths, you better be pitching a TV project. After all, it is downstairs from Mosaic. Or at least it used to. It is. No, not Mosaic. Three hundred and 60. Oh 3. Yes. Management. 3 hundred and sixty. How could I forget? Well, it's wonderful to have you, Bing. Thank you so much for being here. It's great to be here. I want to tell you. Yes. That you should be proud of yourself for this accomplishment. Thank you so much. Because in life, a lot of times, we don't get to do things for very long. That's true. A lot of people, they start something, they give it up. I mean, the podcast graveyard is littered with podcasts of people who said, hey, I have a great idea for a podcast. And then they did six episodes, and we're like, this a pain in the ass. Yeah. Still a great idea, though. Still a great idea. Too bad. I was just gonna say it's good that we keep the Tomb of the Unknown podcaster lit. Yep. The fire at the Tomb of the Unknown podcaster. What were you gonna say, Bing? I was gonna say, whether it's doing a podcast or going to elephant riding school, if you get to do it for a long time, you. You are blessed. What are the basic tips of riding elephants that you've been to school for? Oh, you want to know about riding elephant? Oh, yeah, sure. But he never got to. No, he. He's. You've been to school, though. Yeah, but they don't let you ride the elephant until the last day. Oh, and you haven't reached the last day yet? My dad pulled me out of school. I'm so sorry we had to go assassinate Jim Jones. Wow. Were you the guy who poured the Kool Aid? No, Jim did that himself. Oh, okay. He thought it was regular Kool Aid. My dad poisoned it. Oh, good. Jim Jones actually had pretty good intentions. He's very. He was just like, hey, everyone enjoys kool Aid. He's like, hey, it's a hot day. And so your dad would pull you out of school and just bring you along. He was a single dad. Wow. Yeah. So you must have been like. We had, like, a Craver versus Craver kind of relationship. Like, where else did you guys travel to? Like, what an exciting time in history. Where did we travel to? Maybe Dallas. Maybe we did not go to Dallas. Okay. Cuba. It had already been taken care of. Okay. We did go to Cuba. We went to Aruba. Jamaica. Okay. Jamaica. Jamaica. Oh, I want to take you. Maybe Key Largo. We got that fast. And then we took things slow. Oh, that's good. I think the Beach Boys were singing about assassination. Oh, whoa. I. Wow. Wait, What? Do you know that song Kokobo? Did you ever go to. Of course I've been to Kokobo with my dad. Whoa. Were the Beach Boys. Beach Boys was a psyop. Did they. Were they sending messages to Bing Lujo senior? Oh, my God. This is like a dead drop. They should have been doing that. They shouldn't have been doing. I blame Stamos. Oh, yeah. He has loose lips. It's Stamos and Mike. Love those. Blameless. Thank you. Blamos rancheros. Making me hungry. All right, Bing. Well, we do need to get to our next guest. I hope you don't mind. I don't care. Okay, great. Let's welcome them back to the show. It's so. It's so special to talk to this person. They've been on the show so many times. Please welcome back to the show Pastor pasta. Pasta, pasta. Pastor Pasta. Pastor Pasta. How are you, sir? Pasta, pasta, pasta. I know. That's right. That is right. Hello. So great to see you. Hello. Hello. Hello. Put a halo on some rigatoni, if you know what I'm saying. A halo of parmesan cheese. Does that appeal to you? That is very appealing to me. Congratulations on your haniversary. Thank you so much, Pastor. The past of. Yeah. I'm just so impressed with what you've done here at the Comedy Bang Bang Theater. I. I think it is awesome. Repertory theater. Oh, wow. Repertory. Okay. How long have you been doing what you. Now, for those. For those of you out there. Who don't know Pasta. Pasta. You are a clergy person. Clergy person. Thank you. Right. And you have a special affinity for the. The food that comes to us from Italy. Yeah. And. And I'm starting to make some in my backyard, actually. All right. Backyard pasta. I got a dispensary. I'm getting a dispensary going. Oh, a pasta dispensary. Yeah. You can dispense things other than pot. Right. You can dispense whatever the hell you want. Napkins. Think about it. You can dispense. You can dispense. You can dispense whatever you. You can dispense wisdom. You can dispense wisdom. You could input tampons and dispense them as well. Yeah. They go in and out and little ball bearings, whatever you like. So, you know, I'm gonna be honest with you. This is Bing Lujo. Bing. Hi, Bing. It is wonderful to meet you. It's wonderful to meet you, Pastor. I love your voice. Thank you. I love yours as well. I appreciate that. It seems you're lying. You seem to stutter. Can you tell? Do you have people's tells? Can you. You know when they're lying? Can you see? Yeah. Body. Yeah. Are you a body language expert? I can read bodies. I know how to read bodies. Yeah. If you're talking body. If you. If you're talking body, I'm talking. I know what. I know what you're saying. But as a. As a person of the cloth, can you really. Should you be reading bodies? I. Well, I'm not doing anything once I read them. Okay. I'm not. I'm not doing anything with the information. I'm not getting excited or nothing like that. I'm just reading the bodies. And I really just wanted to come to say this is awesome, what you guys have done here at the Comedy Bang Bang Repertory Theater. Thank you. I am so pleased. And it's. The evolution of this podcast, as well as my own professional career has been inspiring to me, and we've been going in sort of tandem. Our. Our careers have been on the upswing. Absolutely. In fact, at one point, you know, I passed away. That's. Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah. I passed away with that. You passed away? I passed away. I ate too much pasta. What happened with that? How'd you come back to life? How did I come back? The same way Christ did. Oh, after three days. After three days, my daddy brought me back to life. Oh, wow. Yeah. Can I ask you. We know that that's when. How long it took, but we don't Know how he came back to life? Did he, like, hook him up to a machine or. Oh, there was no machine. I was late. I was laid out in a tub of. Of marinara sauce. Right. I was laid out. They thought it was blood, but it was just. It was just tomato sauce. Sure. Right. And they just laying there like a precog. Like a. What did you call me? Excuse me? From the movie Minor Report. What did you call me? Pre. Precog. Precog. Minority. What? All these slurs. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, it's a pre. Cop. Precognition. They can see the future. And so you could be cog and postcog. Post. You're a historian. Cog is. You're just a person watching things. Okay, all right. Well, then I would say I'm cob. But they would lay. They would lay around in a big bath of milk. They would. That have anything to do with their precognitive abilities or did they just like it? I think they would. It felt to me like the. The. They were trying to suggest that they were some sort of a serial. All right, well, I'm some sort. In many ways. I'm so. I'm some sort of. I think they were trying to market a serial. I thought that there was. I thought that the Minority Report tie in was little precogs and that you could put milk in them, especially fruity precog. Could you call it a marginalized report by chance? Okay. Yeah. It's like. It's like changing master bedroom to primary bedroom. You know, we need to change the verbiage around this. We do. You need to be mindful of our words. And as a pastor. Pastor, I. I'm one to know. And so I just think it's amazing what you've done here. You've said that now three times. Okay, we will. Well, as a pastor, I oftentimes find myself repeating myself so that the congregation can really. Are you selling pasta out of your. Out of dispensary? I am selling pasta out of the dispensary in my backyard. And how does it. How are sales? Like, do you feel as though the church is bringing in your. Your. The congregation is bringing your message to the congregation or through the pasta itself? The pasta itself. The past is speaking to people. Okay. That's just. It is. It kind of like the body of Christ, the wafer? It is. It's. You break it. But in. In this case, we boil it. You boil the body and then you slather it. And you like things al dente. Al dente. Oh, the firmness of Christ. I do. I do enjoy Al Dente. I prefer things to be Al dente. Imagine. Yeah, Everything is better Al Dente. I feel like. How is there not been someone on this show named Al Dente? That should be it. That should be. We just have real people on the show that's. And I haven't found that person. Maybe. And somebody will show up for sure. Maybe a relative of mine is named Al Dente. I don't know, maybe someone. A guy named Carl. Talk. Do you have. Do you have. I don't know that guy. Do you have any relatives named Al. Let's just ask right now named Al Dente? I do have a relative named Al Dente. Oh, okay. Well, good. I do have a relative named Al Dente. You'll meet him soon enough. Okay. For sure. Great. You absolutely meet him soon enough. I'm taking that down. Ominous in my eye. Telephone like a threat. Yeah, you're gonna meet him. You pissed him off. Yeah. And so things have been going great. Tariffs are not impacting me one bit. Oh, yeah. Well, you make everything in house. I make everything in house? Yes. In my backyard of the house. In the backyard. The backyard of the house. Backyard of the house. So in the house? Yes. Which is the backyard of the house. You understand A lot of people consider the backyard to be the backyard of the house. You make your own sauce? Yeah. Make my own. Yeah. I like what you did there. A little. A little New York Italian. Oh, hey, Bada bing, bada bing, bada boom. Okay. Yeah. So I'm making my own sauce. I've really evolved here. And it's going to be a big day tomorrow. People are going to be coming over to eat pasta and hear the word. Are you only serving on Tuesday? On Tuesday, yeah. Great. It's going to be. It's a great Tuesday. Everyone does. Everyone does church on Sundays. There must be so much competition. You're doing it on a different day, so you get it, everyone. I'm doing it on a different day and I'm serving food. Here's what I'm going to say. And I hope that you don't find this rude. Please. I feel like you are offended. Desire. I'm offended. I feel like you would rather be a restaurateur than a clergyman. A clergy person. It seems as though you're more focused on the pasta than the people. I'd never considered that. You see, I was born to be a clergy person. Okay. My father was a clergy person. His father was a clergy person. His neighbor was a Clergy person. That's a large community of clergy people. Clergy people passed it down. And I didn't. I didn't. I don't think from neighbor to cover. I think running. Yeah. Took a search from neighbor to grandfather to father. I think. I think the cutest route of going. Followed in his neighbor's footsteps. Exactly. No neighbor of mine is going to do that. And that's what I'm trying to tell. And that's what I'm trying to tell you. And so, you know, the notion of running a restaurant just felt so radical. That was. That felt radical even. What? But you, like, you. You know, 80s slang. Really well, because you're in your 80s. You have to understand. I might look age, but I'm. I'm a bit of a young person. No, of course. Yeah. I'm a bit of a young person. So. And me, I'm gnarly, a hundred years old. I understand you're saying. Everything you're saying. Bing. Is totally random. Bing. I'm gonna be honest. Bing. I am a big fan of yours. Thank you so much, Pastor. And I'm gonna ask you something that. And I don't hope that you don't take offense to this. I don't hope that you don't take offense to this. You don't hope that I take offense to this. Well, I'm not going. I assure you I won't take offense to what I'm about to say. If I was gonna take offense, I would perhaps not say it. But I hope you don't take offense to what I am about to say. Okay. Have you ever thought about invis. It can or even visalign? Yes. Just braces. Yeah. Just regular braces or just a line? Because I feel like you have a bit of a lisp. Is that accurate? You have a lot of air coming out and not much going in. I got. Not much going in. I do have sort of a thing going on. Yeah. But I don't know. What if just like me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on. But I did. Would it were changing the shape of my teeth, Would that help it? I don't think you need to change the shape of your teeth. I think the shape of your teeth are gorgeous. Yeah, they're teeth shape. They're. They're gorgeous. Yeah. What do you want? Like round? I just. It's a lot of air. I don't want anything. It's a lot of air. And I don't know if you heard about the environment. What's going on? Oh, no. What Happened. They say it's going down. Oh, they say it's going down. Don't we need it? We need it to be here. Yeah. Yeah. And I need it to grow my pasta. It just seems like you have a lot of. I'm sorry, you're growing your pot. Yeah. What does this mean? How are you growing that pasta? Pasta seeds. Oh. All you need to do is have faith. The size of a pasta seed. And are these from Italy? Pasta seeds? Yes, they're from Italy. Modena. Oh, really? Modena. Woman. Yeah. More dinner? More than a woman to me. More than a woman. More than a woman to me. More than a woman. Yeah. So where Chef. Chef Massimo is. Yeah. Where Massimo is. Yes. So. Yes. So they're from Moden. A woman to me. To you. This is. I mean, this sounds like a great business plan. Yeah. You can put. Because oftentimes. Oftentimes the work of doing all the. All the dough and the water and then the machine and then it's cutting the pasta. Who has time for that? Yeah. So this is instant. You could grow it in your backyard. But I don't love it. But we're not. I'm not going to tell you where exactly I get the seed, as you should, lest I wouldn't be making sales. Yeah, yeah. But it's just like. Maybe like a haggard witch. What did you call me? Some sort of old crone perhaps? Gave you these? Magic. See, I don't dibble and dabble in magic and witchcraftery. Any dabbling. What's that? Don't we have dibble and dabble coming up on the show? They might be a little bit later. And Al Dente gonna be here, too. Yeah. At some point, if Al Dente doesn't show up, I'm leaving. Al Dente gonna have to show up. Oh, look, you have not talked. You have not talked passionately about Christ, the church. Yeah. We haven't heard anything about religion. I have spoken rapturously about Al Dente. Speaking of the rapture. Yes. When's it going down? Some of y'all. Some of y'all not getting swept up in the sauce. Some of y'all gonna have to stay here. No. Yeah. Some of y'all are gonna have to stay here. Unless you give your life to Orzo. To orzo. Hey, what. What past? What happens after the Rapture when everybody goes up and all the clothes and shoes are lying around? What happens to the people that are. That are left behind? The leftovers, let's say. So. The leftovers. That's a great way to put it. Well, they go to hell simply right away, straight away to hell. Then the earth is just empty. So that's basically the leftovers getting reheated. I mean, in a sense, but really, they're getting burnt. Oh, okay. They're getting burnt. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense for, like, there's still to be people here on Earth. I think just like half the people go up to heaven, half the other half. Well, you heard what's going on with Earth, right? What's going on? It's going down. It's going down. It's going down to hell. I don't know if you heard. Yeah, it's going down. And so we don't have to too much worry about what's gonna happen here, but in the interim, I am selling different pastas out of my backyard. If anyone is interested before the big day, I'll take two orders. Whatever an order means. Yeah. I'll get a. What's in season right now? Right now in season, we've got farfalle. Okay. Linguine. Yeah. Spaghetti. Great. Always in season. Angel hair, of course. Oh. Oh, wow. Always. Always. We're for a planet that's going down. It's good to be in touch with the angels. That's exactly my point. How do you get their hair, though? How do you get their hair? I could tell you, but. And I'm going to. Oh, good. So. So. So in Modena. Sure. The way Modena got its name is. It's Modena name. Modena name. Modena woman. Okay. So the legend has it that it was a woman named Marisol. Marisol lived in that region of Italy. Right. And every day she would cut her hair. She had beautiful locks. Beautiful locks. And would they all grow back in 24 hours? Quickly? Less than even. 12 even. Wow. A little bit like that. Yeah, a little bit like that, but not quite because nobody was climbing up her head. Okay. So that's the one major difference. I would say the one big difference. She even had her dangling out a window. She's hoping for. Excuse my friend Christian Podcast. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. We forgot to mention. So you're gonna bleep that out for me? Of course. All right, so I think we're out of bleeps. No. How many bleeps per episode? No, we. We ran out earlier in the year. How much is one bleep? Yeah, one bleep. Probably $8,000. I got that for you. You got that? Thank you so much. I got that for you. Okay. Because again, I'm doing Well, with these sales. All right, okay. So. So she would chop off her hair, right. Every 12 hours. And it would grow back luscious, gorgeous locks. And she had a partner. His name was Modena. Oh, his name was Modena. What was her name again? Her name was Marisol. Okay, got it. Okay. Marisol and Modena. Yep. Okay. So he would tell her she looked like an angel. Are you following? Yeah, sort of. Is everybody following? Absolutely. I'm right there with you. Okay. Yes. Yes. Oh, you keep spitting on my face. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Does anybody have a handkerchief? I left mine. You are in the splash zone. You're the first five rows. That's what I tell my. That's what I tell my congregation. You in the splash zone. You gonna get hit with this. I do have one of these ponchos, if you want to put that. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna put. That's a branded poncho. Don' Offended. I hope you're not offended that I'm not a poncho. I brought the poncho. Okay. Look, that's my face on there. Oh, wow. This is the malt shop poncho. That's right. This is really cool. I might be interested in getting ponchos from my congregation, by the way. Yeah. Pasta chose. What's that? Pasta chose. Pistachio pasta and ponchos together. I wanted to do it, but I don't think I did a good job. Panch, toast, pizza. Yeah. Maybe they don't belong together. Sometimes you need to stick to your own kind. Not sure what you mean by that. Just words. Oh, words. Yeah, of course. Yeah, of course. Sometimes words need to stick to their own kind. Why is every so excited about words? Right? They just words. They're just words. And some of them don't belong together. Exactly. Why is that so crazy? Why Y'all look uncomfortable. Why y'all look uncomfortable. I'm allowed to say this if anybody's allowed to say it. I'm allowed if anyone. You are. Yeah, exactly. Well, okay. Well, possible. You didn't even finish sharing the story, Angel. Okay. To be honest, I was lost. Lost. So I. I thought that was. I thought I was doing a great job. You were. Thank you. Cut. Cut to the end, quick. Basically, she passed away. Okay. Passed away. She went to. Passed away. She went to. Passed away. No. And passed away. Went ahead and passed away. Although I bet everyone is dead from back then. Anyway, so. From back then. Like, how long ago was this? And she died in. She lived her average life expectancy so it wasn't tragic enough. Was this hundreds of years ago? This was maybe 2, 000 years ago. Yeah, everyone's from then. So there's no tr. She lived to be. Yeah. Anyway, pretty good too, right? Pretty good. Especially for that time. For 2,000 years, the average life expectancy was probably like 40, right? I mean, Methuselah, he like really skewed the numbers, but that's the thing. Her lover, Is that who I'm talking about? Do you think he was just like 60 and then they were like, I don't know. This guy's got so old. Look at this guy's gray hair. We've never seen. Because everyone else died by 25 back then. I guess. I don't care about those names. Yeah, not really. Honestly. Okay. Every time a pastor walk into a room, everybody shuts down and starts acting well behaved or boring and stuff. And, and that's something that, that I'm, I'm grappling with. How come people don't name their kids Methuselah? I know, it's so classic. Why don't people name their kids Fettuccine, by the way? Even better. Why don't people name their kids freaking Bucatini? Do you think Boba Fett's full name is Boba Fettuccine? That's a whole meal. Boba tea fettuccine. You think it's Boba tea Fettuccine. And those two words do belong together, you know? Bobatini Fettuccine. Hold on. Those two, those two belong together. Well, Pasta pasa. It's, it's great to have you here. Well, I guess you'll never know the legendary. I, I, I'm sorry, we do have another guest. Don't be sorry. Who's waiting to come. Stick to your guns. Stick to your guns and your little schedule. I will tell you. Okay, so I'm gonna. Okay, so then. Okay, while I introduce the next guest, go ahead and have this conversation. Coming up on the show, we have a child prodigy. Oh, a CP A CP is definitely going to be here. Let's see. Why don't we talk to them? In fact, I'll introduce them now, right now. Why not? Please welcome back to the show. I believe we, we talked to this person in England somewhere. Yes, Mr. Aukerman. Manchester, perhaps? That's right. Mr. Aukerman, please welcome. So pleasant to see you on this fine spring day, Mr. Aukerman. Of course. Please welcome back Bruce Banner, aka Lil Hulk. Oh, we don't talk about that. Other side of me? Oh, no. Oh, Mr. Akman, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh, so quick to talk about my little green guy. I'm sorry. Oh, I beg your pardon. No, no, it's quite all right. You got to. He really. He took up the lion's share of my time in Manchester. We barely got to talk about my fascinating music career because that little green guy came out. I don't really recall anything that we talked about other than when he came out. Yeah, that's true, because you and me barely discussed anything, Mr. Rock. Is that what you're here to talk about today? Yes, I would love to talk about me. Bruce Banner, child prodigy in music. Oh, that's what you're prodigy if you don't. Hi. Jason Manzuk. It's great to meet you. How are you? Nice. Nice to see you. Good to see you. Bing Luo. Of course. Bing. Hello, child. Sorry, could you say your last name one more time for me? I don't. I don't call adults by their first names. My name is Bing Lujo. Mr. Lujio, a pleasure. And you can remember this by thinking when the movie Cujo came out. Oh, oh, I'm gonna Bing Cujo times to go to the theater. Or as Bing would do it, Google it. Yeah, and then. Then just take the little top part of the seal. You lost me, Mr. Rockerman. And I'm proud of. Because I was gonna say the same thing, and I wanted to get him back because that was a long walk and. What the. What was that? We talked about this on a previous episode. It's easy to remember. And I. And I do forgive you. I am a child. So could we bleep that out? Yeah, and I'll give you. Any more bleeps. You're. Take care of this one. $16,000 right now. Okay, let's do those bleeps right now. Ready? Okay. There we go. Two right in a row. Excuse my. I'm sorry, your last name. Pasta. Pasta. Yeah, yeah. Reverend. Pastor. Pastor. Pastor. Pastor Pasta. Yes. Okay. Pastor Pasta. Pastor. Pastor. Pastor. Pastor Pasta. Pastor. Past the pastor. We already went through this. Pasta. Oh, no, no. In fact, Pastor Pasta didn't bring any free samples. No, because I'm. I'm. I'm making money off all this. Yeah, well, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes a. A lot of sense. But to answer your question from a Methuselah years ago, I played glockenspiel. The cello, the piano, the harp, the dulcimer. A lot of string instruments. These are all percussion instruments. I believe you're hitting one thing with another thing. That's true. You can see the glockenspiel, your number one instrument since you mentioned it first. I do. Well, it's the way I found music. Mr. Cujo. I forgot how I was supposed to be. Lujo. Yeah, Mr. Mr. Lujo. Cujo. Remember it like somebody said, hi, my name is Bing Lujo. It's like if somebody said poncho, but it was Lujo. Oh, like a pasta. Like a pasta. Lujo. Take the pinta away. All these mnemonic devices are making me so frustrated. I can't contain all these mnemonic. Bruce. Bruce. No, no, no, no, no. Calm down, calm down. What's going on? What's up, everybody? Oh, okay. Little Hulk is here. Oh, no. Hi, Little Hulk. Hey. Hey, remember me? Oh, Manchester. You remember me, Little Hulk? Yeah, I, in fact, just said your name. What's up, losers? I'm Little Hulk. Oh, a loser. Hey, little Hul. Yeah. Oh, is that little jerk out here trying to talk about Doc and Spiel? Yeah. Honestly, so boring. It kind of was. Honestly. What are you into? Little Hulk smash. Crash. Hell, yeah. Purple shorts. Little Hulk. Yeah. This guy's cool. Are you gonna see the musical Smash adapted for the stage? Yeah. Little Hulk wants to know, should Lil Hulk watch the show first? Yeah. Okay. Lil Hulk add to Lil Hulk's list. Lil Hulk, are you gonna go see Death becomes her? Little Hulk wants to know, should we just ask you adapt it for the stage? Adapt it for the stage wants to know, should Lil Hulk watch the original movie first? Sure. Is there. Is there an original movie? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Lil Hulk added to us later. Who's your definitive mama rose? Ah. Little Hulk's gotta say Patty. Patty. Little Hulk loves Patty. Lil Hulk loves when Patty says. Turn that fucking cell phone off. Sorry. Little Hulk's good for a bunch of bleeps. That was to me, by the way. Really? Yeah. Oh, little Hooky. That's the first time Little Hulk shows up. Stupid. Little Bruce Banner was watching video. That little hook got so angry. Someone would defy Ms. Patty. Like that Little Hulk showed up, so. Yeah. So. So, Little Hulk, you share the same obsession with musical things. Oh, sure, sure. Okay. But you don't play any of the instruments. Do you like the glockenspiel smash? Yeah, I think. Yes. Marimba only smash means no. That's my iPhone ringtone. I remember Marimba. Yes, yes, yes. You love him. Is that the one that all TV characters have? I think that is the one. Because it's the default marimba. Little Hulk is like it's not the theme song for sex and the city, but little Hulk thinks it's so close. Little Hulk wonders how they got away with that. Little hulk, how have you watched sex in the city? Little Hulk has it on little Hulk's list. Little Hulk has big list to show. Little Hulk. Big list. Yeah, right. Right. Now, next up for lil Hulk is northern exposure for little Hulk. Oh, w. Wow, you're really going. That's a time and place. Little hook loves physical media. Hulk found one season was in like little coat. Lil Hulk thought that was very funny. Little Hulk, are you gonna watch dying for sex? Little Hulk not sure. Physical media. Lil Hulk. Lil Hulk love her. I believe you're talking about one of the Michelle Williams. Which Michelle Williams you love? Lil Hook love both. Okay, that's the right answer. That's the right answer. Lil Hook love both. You better love Michelle Williams. Little Hulk want Michelle Williams back in features. Okay, okay. Little Hulk thinks too many movie stars in television and too many TV stars and commercials. Look agrees. How do the people work? Where's the middle class? But little Hulk, do you not think of Michelle Williams as from Dawson's Creek? Oh, Lil hook adds to the list. Oh, okay. I mean, physical media, that would be a pretty good VHS box set right there. Hook cov it's a boxer. Little hook. Did you listen to the Britney Spears audiobook? Lil Hook does not f with audiobooks. Oh, really? Little Hook physical media. Little Hulk read memoir hard cuz Lil Hulk wants to hear it in the artist's voice. Little Hulk listens to a record of the artist. Then lil Hulk reads memoir out loud. Well, this was in Michelle Williams voice, I believe. Little Hulk. Little Hulk didn't notice. Little hope did not know this. Oh, yeah. Okay. Michelle Williams. Little huh? Hulk and Michelle Williams gotta talk. Michelle Williams belongs in features. I think she belongs in destiny's child. So we have a difference of opinion. Say my name. Say my name. Oh, yeah. Lil Hulk. Ooh. Little Hulk love hearing little Hulk's own name. Little Hulk, have you ever met the regular Hulk? Big Hulk? Big Hulk. Not in this. Not in this planet. Time. Is big Hulk your father? No. Little Hulk. Different planet, different timelines. What about she Hulk? Multiverse. Multiverse. Little Hulk. Little Hulk this one. Okay. Were you little Hulk, Was Bruce Banner exposed to gamma radiation? Were you exposed to gamma radiation as a little kid? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Bruce Banner fell in a puddle. You are a little kid. So did this happen recently? Look, yeah. This is like two years ago. Little Hulk was running around, going to music practice, had to learn the glockenspiel, slipped and fell into a gamma puddle. No. They have to stop leaving those lying around. Hulk. Stupid saddle shoes untied all the time. This nerd. No. Is the. Is the. Is that little puddle the same thing Alex Mack used to throw up or turn into Alex Mack? Little Hulk add to the list. Okay. Thanks to what? Lar? Larissa. Clarissa explains it. Oh, Hulk explains it. Hulk. Yeah. Is that anything? That's. Could be something. Keep digging around. I bet we'll find little Hulk. Do. Do you have hopes and dreams? I mean, it must be tough sharing a body and. Oh, but I mean, do you. Do you maybe have things you want to do? Little Hulk wishes Lil Hulk and stupid nerd Bruce Banner were more like split up. 12 hours each day, right? How. What, what. What time would love the night. What do you get? Little Hulk only gets when Bruce Banner gets angry. And he's a very polite little nerd. So Lil Hulk sometimes only gets few moments a day. And I bet he has to be awake as well. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So annoying for the little. You're pretty polite as well. Oh, yeah, you cuss. Back up, back up. Pardon me, Was the little green guy just here? Wait a minute. Wait. How? When little Hulk gets mad, he turns back into Bruce Banner? Yes, I'm able to exert my dominance once. I can feel too much of his rage emerging through that pesky green guy. Oh. Oh, you seem disappointed to see me, Mr. Ockerman. No, no, just we were having such a good con. Bruce Banner, how do you feel about the. The marimba? Oh, I hate them. Oh, thanks, Jason. Yoga's too big and wooden. Oh, good. Oh, good. Oh, oh, did you ask about the marimba? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He hates. What's the ringtone? It's like thinks that's Lil Hook's timer. Usually little Hulk can't remember the name Little Hulk. So you have a timer, little Hulk? Oh, yeah. You share a phone with Bruce Banner? Oh, no. IPad with my mom. Are you doing. And I only get so much screen time a day. Then the timer goes off and I go, oh, I'm so angry. And then that little twerp comes back. Do you get more screen time than Bruce Banner gets? No less. And how does your mom feel about you being. Lil Hulk loves me the way I am. Aw, that's beautiful. Thank you. Lil Hulk has a question for all these adults. What's going on? Yeah, when you set an alarm on your phone like Lil Hulk. Oh, Lil Hulk has early flight. Little Hulk gonna set several alarms because lil Hulk worried little Hulk's gonna sleep in, right? Sure. Little Hulk wants to know, do you scroll through and you have a bunch of old alarms that you could choose from or. Every time. I probably have 80 alarms. Same with little Hulk. I think that's weird as hell. A friend just showed me that about three weeks ago, and I thought, why do you have all these alarms? Lil Hook at this point has most times a day, and that's what my friend had. Whatever time every 15 minutes, say even. Even less incremental than that. I never delete one. I. I delete edit the ones that are there. Well, yes, exactly. I don't. So there's like three. It don't cost nothing. No, yeah, exactly. Little Hulk can scroll. Little Hulk has times that they're like little Hulk. Why would. Why'd you need 5:45pm I don't know. One day you did. Yep. Little Hulk is taking a nap. That's a nap? That's a nap. Classic little Hulk nap. Oh, if I have a PM in my alarm schedule, something's jet lag. Lil hook find some. Like a little Sometimes I love a nap. But if I'm setting an alarm for a nap, that's dangerous. Maybe I'm in Scotland, want to meet some people for haggus at night, have to set an alarm. Little Hulk. Little Hulk sometimes switch to doing timer in that situation. But then lil Hulk gets worried about timer somehow. What if you're staying at a hotel in Scotland and you're like, I want to have a. I want to wake up and have a drink at 11:30pm happened. You could do it. And lil Hulk wants to know from these adults, little Hulk, do you max out on how many weather cities you have? Yes. Save for little Hulk partly from being on tour. Say little Hulk keeps all the cities, but you don't go and delete them. You don't? Nope. Little Hulk has a great record of cities Lil Hulk has been to. Why don't you just google them each time you're going? Well, Lil Hulk likes to look. Them. Little Hulk likes to look. About seven days out. Get excited for where little Hulk's going next. And lil Hulk goes, oh, lil Hulk's been in Minneapolis before. Lil Hulk still has Minneapolis weather. Do I need to bring a coat? Exactly. Yeah. Little Hulk likes to look. We have a lot in common. Little Hulk. Hey, Little Hulk. Hey. With the world clock. What's that? You have a with the world clock? No, not really. Oh, it's great. I put in all the times. Ooh, yeah. Little Hulk likes that. I feel very cosmopolitan. Lil. Hulk likes to use that. The front page of the weather holds the time for the city. So sort of like weather is. Is the world clock. What? Have you ever done that? Hang on. I think Bing Luo and little Hulk are becoming obsessed with. I think they're becoming best friends. The youngest person we've ever had on the show and the oldest. I think being Lucho is becoming a grandfather. No, Hulk could use a grandfather figure. I'm very. I'm very charmed by you. Oh, thank you. You. For a Hulk, you're not so bad. We happen to have a lot of granddaughters on this show. We're not allowed. Bash. Bash. Bash. Bash. Bash. Smash is mad. Bash is happy. A very cogent Hulk. Yeah, like a very thoughtful Hulk. Oh, Little Hulk is very, very touched by the. Just leave that article. Just love saying one's own name. Little Hulk. Hard when you're only half a person, Little Hulk. Sometimes your identity can get lost. Little Hulk. Nice to remember that you exist, Little Hulk. You know what you could do, Little Hulk? Yes, Mr. Mans. You kiss. You could use one of your alarms to play a song or a sound that infuriates Bruce Bannon. Yeah, so you could just leave. Alarms your own arrival. Like if there's ever a show that you've never been able to see. Oh, Little Hulk. I switch along list. Or every. You said you want the night. So every night at 9:30 or whatever gets all the nights. This is a great idea. Then what happens if. If. If Bruce finds the. Finds the alarm and figures it out? That idiot. You think he's going to figure it out? You talk to him? Passer Pass. I did talk to him. Bruce Banner. The Bruce Banner we talked to. That kid was a idiot. Unless it's a hammer and dulcimer, he's not interesting. That's three curse words back to back to back. Yeah, your tally is going up. He's a musical. He's a musical. Musical prodigy. Oh. Oh, that's my Rimba. Little hook loves that one. But Bruce Banner's Banner hates it. Yeah, so we're not switching. So I'll. I'll keep. Let's see. What existing times do I have in the pm? I don't want to set one. He'll get suspicious. Little Hulk. Okay, let's. Let's see what times we have. Okay, let me go just. Okay, my lady, I have as early as 3:30am Oh, I have. I have what it takes me I have as early. I believe we had a 4am cab ride in Seattle once. I have as early as 2:45am Okay. 3:10am and then I. It's quite a scroll to get to my lates because this is PM for a little Hulk. Okay. I have a 6:30. That's too easy. Bruce band will be having dinner. Seven. That's too early. He'll be having screen time. I have as late as 9:50, 11, 11:45 and 11:50pm do you want to hear my latest? Yes, Mr. 11:50. Oh, you beat me, Mr. Ockerman. Is that the Spy on Santa Claus at that point? Just stay asleep. No, I have. I only have three alarms. I thought I had a ton, but I got 2:00pm, 3:00pm and 5:15pm Whoa. All the PMs. Really? Wow. I have a 9:18pm for some reason. I have an 8:57. That's a weird one. Look at how long it takes me to scroll through all the versions of a lot. I think I have more PMs than I have eight. Wait. Little hole. That's Little Hulk. I demand that you read, in order, all of your alarms. You got it, Mr. Manzukis. And then Little Hulk actually has to go because Bruce Banner has a Glock and we do have to take a break. Okay, here I go. And thank you so much for having me. Little Hulk. This has been Little Hulk. These are all of little real alarms in order. 1am 2:45am 3:10am 3:30am 3:50am 3:55am 4am 4:10am 4:15am 4:30am 4:45am 4:15am 4:15am 5am 5:10am 5:15am 5:35am 5:45am 5:45am 6am 6:20am 6:30am 6:40am 7am 7:10am 7:15am 7:30am 7:45am 8:15am 8:30am 8:50am 8:55am Oh. 9am 9:50am 9:30am 9:45am 10:50am 10:30am 10:37pm 10:15am 8 45. 8:57, 9:15, 9:50, 11, 11:45, and 11:50pm My alarms. Wow. Bravo. Thank y'all. This has been little. Oh, that made me a little. Oh. Oh, Mr. Alderman, I'm so delighted. Get the out of here. Hey, nerd. All right, we have to take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more from Bing Lujo, more Jason Man Zookas, even more guests coming up. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. You know the one thing your mom wants from you is to call her, right? Well, you can do that. But, hey, this Mother's Day, give her that call she wants so bad and give her an aura digital picture frame. Aura frames were named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and featured in 400, 195 gift guides last year. So I've sent Aura frames to everyone in my family. They love it. It is literally the best gift that I've ever given anyone. My mom loves it. We sit around watching the aura at home instead of TV or movies. My daughter points at them and says, that's me as a baby. It's really, really great. And aura has a great deal for Mother's day. 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Well, flexibility in your workday means you can decide when and where to invest your time. And with stamps.com tedious tasks. You know those TTS like sending certified mail invoices, check decks or documents and packages. Well, they can all be done on your time and not on somebody else's. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever. We've been using stamps.com now it has to be Over a decades they've been. They're one of our super sponsors. We got set up with an account very early on and it's great. We send everything from there. Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. sign up@stamps.com and use code BANG bang for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com and put in code Bang Bang. Comedy Bang bang. We're back. 16th anniversary show. Congratulations. Oh, thank you so much. Thanks. This, this Maltage is almost gone. I know. It really torn through it. Yeah, it's incredible. I mean the taste is incredible. Black and white. That's right. Chocolate and vanilla. That's right. They should make, you know, because normally when you make a black and white, you put in both chocolate ice cream and vanilla ice cream. They should make an ice cream that has the flavor already combined, shouldn't they? They can't do that. They can't do it. No. Government regulations. Government. See, this is why I think we need to get rid of all regulations. I think we need more. You need. Oh, so you need a regulation that cancels out that regulation. Yeah, that's the way to do it. So just everybody happy. You gotta regulate the regulations. That's right. You gotta regulate the regulations. Everybody knows it's true. If you want to regulate any regulations, you know what to do. You gotta write to your congressman, write to the president, you gotta go to the church as hard as you can. It's so nice when you got regulations. Regulation. Everybody loved regulations. What a weird ending on that song. Yeah, like it gave up Y more songs. You just give up in the middle. Like Sabrina Carpenter. Just like that's all I got. The music he played though, she's like, bye, everyone. Goodbye. That I only wrote so much. Well, let's get to our next guest. This is exciting. We haven't seen our next guest in maybe about a year. I'm excited to catch up with them. You know her as a local raconteur, the owner of the Los Angeles W Hotel. And no other. Just a local raconteur. She likes to keep it within city limits. Does not nationally tell stories. No, no. If she ever leaves Los Angeles, she shuts the stories down. Down. Please welcome back to the show, Bean dip. Hey, Scott. Good to see you. Hey, Beanie. Hey. Hey, Scotty. Hey. Hey. Haven't talked to you since that whole flap about love is blind and people slapping titties. Well, hey, it's been a minute. Yep. Hey, is you know Jason Manzukas. I don't know if you've ever met. I love Jason. Well, he. Look, I'm not expecting him to acknowledge it, but we have a fast. Oh, what's. Great to see you again, Bean. See you. Can we get some juicy deets? Well, okay, Spill the tea. I mean how juicy you want to get? I have seen up close of his balls and he see up close of my. Yeah, those are the juices I'm talking about. It's juice city. Yeah. The most. We would just meet to look at each other's genitals. Yeah. Just to give it everything a good once over. Give. Give it a good. Cuz a lot. Well, it's got a lot of people. Don't run. I was like, huh. Do I really know what's going on down there? And if you have a friend you can trust to like get an up close look, then they can give you like a printout also. Cuz doctors, doctors give you so little time. Now they are. It's a volume business. So are you just acting as. As her gynecologist and you as his urologist? It's not medical. Well, it's not medical. It's not medical. Like sometimes I, you know, I'm. It's more like a literature type language. I'm not trying to write like, oh, this is a medical thing that's happening. Evolve. I just say like, you know what? Today they're gorgeous. Yes. They. Today is very. So it's an ego boost, you know, it's fee. It's fearless feedback on how, on how they look great. Right. Was there ever a day where they didn't look good or they weren't as juicy as you'd like? Absolutely. Sure. Sometimes you've got the juice and sometimes the juice is loose. You know, every now and then like if, you know, if I had gone for a very strenuous hike, things would be a little different. Different or like if Jason had, you know, had. Sometimes he likes to have. Go have about five filet of fish. Oh, five. Really? Yep. You know me, I love a. I love filet o fish and I can't say no to more than one. And that will affect your testicles. Oh yeah, it's a. It's you. Because you can get the. A lot of people don't know it. They've got a secret menu. You can get a five pack of filet of fish. Yeah. And it's just, it's. They're stacked in. In between two pieces of bread. Five, five, five Total. Can you just do that yourselves by buying five? Come on, don't be dick. There's a funny part. You go to McDonald's, you say, I want to order a flailfish lunatic style. And then they give you five, you say lunatic fringe. And they. They know what's up. They know what's up. But then if I. If I meet up with Jason, we're going to look at each other's genitals. I know. If his balls have a sheen. Like if, you know, it must be a Friday filet fish day. He must have fish. He must have gone lunatic song. If they look real shiny. Yeah, yeah, because, you know, because that tartar sauce gets everywhere. I can't see it. Oh, calm down, calm down. Oh, my gosh. It's the most animated I've ever seen. You being dipped. Who do you think has the nicest looking testicles? That's a great question. Wow. Like somebody related to Paul New. I'm trying to think of who's. I've seen. Lenny Kravitz, maybe. Were they gorgeous? Oh, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Especially he was mid playing guitar. Oh. Dying in this. You describe his guitar playing as mid? No, no. Wow. He's very. He's a savage. Huge talent. Savage. He's a huge talent. Other than that, I don't think I've seen any other human. Why are you winking when you say huge talent? Why do you keep winking at us when you say huge talent? Scott, how come when you winked when you said huge talent, you also put huge talent in quotes with your friends? Fingers. I'm not. I. I tried to put talent in, but I also got huge. Sorry. Oh, I got huge. I got huge. Hey, yo. All right. Okay. All right, Hank, what else has been going on? Bean dip. It's been so long since we've seen you. Oh, yeah. Where have you been this year? Have you been roaming around? Oh, roaming around so many places. I've been traveling the world, Scott. I've been to Tucson, Arizona, Rome, Italy, Belgium, of Brussels. I went to Oslo, Norway, Texas, Canada, Texas, Houston, Texas. The routing on that is. Yeah, I mean, all over the place. Ping pong, bing, bong, bang. Wow. What have you been doing? What are you doing all these places, every place. Going up, set up a business, make about $1.2 million. Go to the next place, on to the next one, on to the next one. One place I'll set up a thing where I'm like, huh? I bet people here want to buy dish towels with little drawings of themselves on them. So I did. What was that, what was that you said, by the way? Dish towels with drawings of themselves on them. The first word is the one I'm most confused about. What you use in the kitchen to drop down Dish. I don't, I don't know. Dish towels. Oh, dish towels. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Did you, did you think they said dick towels? I. I thought disc child. Oh boy. Disc child. Like what you did? A L. Kravis. He dis child. Yeah, that's true. What child is this? Oh yeah. What child? What child should I dis? But anyway, people, one of my pictures on their tos on dish towels. That's why I make about $1.2 million in one city. How do you customize every dish towel to. To look like the person who's ordered it? Or do. Or do most kids kind of look the same and you can just like sell it as like. Oh yeah, this is the picture. Your kid don't come for me this morning. Please don't come for me this morning. It's 5pm I draw a specific and personalized picture of everybody who wants a desktop with their face on it. So you draw it with what, a marker or. Yeah, Sharpie. Usually what works well on cloth is like a Sharpie or maybe like a Sharpie plus Magic Marker mashup. A mashup? Uh huh. A Sharpie plus a Magic Marker Marker Mashup. Sharpie X Magic Marker. Yeah, Sharpie X Magic Marker collab. Whoever wins, we lose. Yeah, you put the Sharpie ink thing into the Magic Marker. The pen. Yeah, that's. You put it inside of there and then you got a perfect thing to draw portraits on dish towels. And people walk up, they go like, oh, what is this? This looks like. Cause I just call it PD Porches on this house, they go, do people know what you're talking about? No, they. That's part of the appeal. They go, what's pd? I love that font that you got a P or the D in. There's so many balloons out here. This looks like pretty much fun. So then how many balloons do you normally have out there? Dude, at least 3,500. That's. That's a lot. And do you dry anything on the balloons? No, the balloons are silent. Oh, they're silent. Yes. So no images and they. You don't make a sound. No images, no squeaks. You got to spend money to make money. Now here's what I'm gonna say. No offense, and I don't know how much it sounds like you're pulling down great money. I could never take offense for you, but silent balloons? Yes. That sounds like a gangbusters idea. This is where your money. You gotta start making. God, we hate the squeaking, don't we, folks? We hate it. Oh, okay. Well, you heard it here first. Solid balloons. SB that's my dude. That's gonna be my new stand is Catch it. Hey, can't you run outside the W. Los Angeles? SPDs, maybe. In fact, SPD. SBDs. SB solid but deadly. Oh, deadly balloons. Oh, good one, Scott. Maybe. Maybe your father would enjoy those, Bing. He would. I mean, he might be enjoying it right now. Deadly balloons. We'll never know. He might be killing people every single day. We don't know. Never. I feel like. I'm sorry, Bing. Liu Zhou's father is. Was an assassin. At least he'd be 160 years old if he were still alive. Maybe. Bean dip. You're more surprised than I've ever seen you. Bean dip. I feel like you think these are reveals you should react to, but these are. This is just casual information we've gleaned in the. In a previous second. I don't know about y'all, but if somebody walked in here and said, hey, what's up, y'all? I'm 160 years old. I fall off my chair onto the floor, then maybe never wake up. That's blog past life expectancy in 2025. A blog, huh? 160 is long past life expectancy for 20, 25 years. Dang. It's like nobody else says anything. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's okay, Scott. Well, it's wonderful to have you here. I've missed you. Oh, man, I've missed you, Scott. Every time I go to a new city to make $1.2 million, I think, man, I just would love to be home in la, just hanging, kicking it with Scott. It's pretty specific. Number 1.2, every city. You know what? I could go over that. But you got. Once you hit 1.2, move on. Well, then you have to declare it to the government. Oh, yeah. You got to have that Vegas mentality of, like, I got what I came here for. Let me get out. This is all under the table. Oh, this is so under the table. I usually don't even leave the city with it. I give it to somebody to launder, then they can send it to me in an envelope. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. And you're in quite a few like these. You're setting up shop in foreign Countries. So. Yes. How are you conquering, like, the language barrier to setting up these businesses in a place transcends language, though, don't you think about Italy, Norway. I mean, these were some. These are really Italy does. Look. Italy, Norway. Any of them. You list them to me. I already know how to speak it fluent. Oh, okay, let's. How about Prague? Yeah. Fog. What you want me to. You say, say hi, welcome to Prague. Can I get your baggage? Wow, that's incredible. Pretty great, actually. I mean, I have no way of checking it, but it sounded good to me. How about Italy? Same sentence. Italy. Let's just do that for eas. Tacked on some stuff at the end there. I wonder. I wonder what? I mean, Italian. Yeah, they transpose the end. The syntax. Yeah, but it's also like. That is such a romantic language. Yeah, it was gorgeous. You do not want to know the people that I met in Italy. Okay? Like who? Why. Why don't we want to know this? Because it is so romantic. Every single hour of every day, someone trying to get you in bed there. Yeah, that sounds pretty spicy. Yeah, it's great, man. It is great. Are you. Are. Are you someone who's attached or are you free to go where the. Where the. Are you single and ready to mingle? I look, I do whatever I want, even if I have a significant other. They need to know I got to live my damn life. That's right. We only live once. We are on this merry go round one time. Well, this merry go round one time. If you're not going to come with me to a city where I'm making $1.2 million, I'm going to have to do stuff there to get my pleasures. Ah, I see. You have to take care of your own pleasures if you're going to be with Bean dip and you're not going to travel the world with her. You got to travel over the world. Got to travel over the world. If you go with be. Got to get Dr. World pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little late. Okay. We all got to do it. Well, Bean D, it's great to see you. Can you stick around a little bit, Scott? I would love to stick around. Talk to everybody you got in here. Yeah. I just love you or miss you, man. I miss you, too. Have you ever set up shop in France? No, I can't wait till I do. I haven't. So you don't speak French? So you don't speak French? No, I speak French. Let's hear some say, welcome to Prague. May I get your Luggage in French. Prague. Wow. Gorgeous. Said Prague twice, so it's interesting. So I think the word for lunch luggage in French is Prague. Prague. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. It's interesting. Wow. Well, bean dip. Stick around. We. We want your input. Okay, great. Here we have a couple of guests have never been on the show. If I'm. If I. Am I correct on that? If you're honest. With total candor, I must say they've never been on the show before. I don't know who they are, what they're doing here, but please welcome Harris Teeter and McGarth Darby. Hey, Scott. How you doing? Hey, how are you? That's right, Scott. I'm Harris teeter. And I'm McGarth Darby. Name the more iconic duo. Go ahead. I've never heard of you. So you know Abbott and Costello. We've laid down. Nope. Nope. Although Abbott Costello. Name a more iconic duo than Abbott and Costello. Go ahead. Laurel and Hardy. We double dag you. Wait a minute. Laurel. Laurel Hardy. You can't. Lenon and McCartney. Yeah. No, we're not fans. We don't like the Beatles. Chocolate and vanilla. Sure. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Okay. That's a more iconic duo. Chocolate and vanilla. Well, here's where we get in the weeds. These are all equally iconic duos, and the challenge is. Name Am. I'm sorry, Harris. I'm sorry, McGarth. That's not. We tried. Thank you for the apology. Scott Aerman. Being bashful. Apologizing. Name a more iconic trio. Trio. That's right. 3. Being Nashville and apologizing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scott Aerman. The Three little Pig. Name a more iconic duo. Harris, you didn't want to join in on that one. I. I didn't know how many. I was surprised by the duo. You. If you put Scott Ockerman in a microphone, in a sentence, you could extrapolate beyond the possibilities of the human mind. We could be saying, name a more iconic infinity. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Can I. Can I ask. You are a duo, Then what. What is your relationship? What is the nature of your relationship? Boat boys. We're boat boys. We're boat boys. Boat boys. Boat buoys. Just a couple of boat boys. You work on a boat or you live on a boat? We live on a boat. Boat. We live on separate boats next to each other. Yeah. Are they like tandem boats or. That's right. Are you guys. What's your relationship? It's like a tandem motorcycle, but tandem motorcycle. Tandem bicycle. Tandem bicycle. But I would love, by the way, tandem motorcycle sounds pretty good. That sounds fun. It almost sounds like it was side by side, but I think it would be one. I think it was side car do all the work. Yeah, yeah. We're butt boys. So you're both boys. Thank you for. Thank you for resetting. Re. Re Premising us. Boat neighbors. Boat neigh. Those are your neighbors? Neighbors. Had we meet. We met in grade school. Oh, okay. Grade school. Are these houseboats? Yeah, we treat them as our house. I got my clothes on there, don't I? On the boat. I got my chairs on there, don't I? I got my toothbrush in there, don't I? I got my glasses in there, don't I? So these are traditional house, you guys. I got my rugs in there, don't I? I'm sorry. Sorry. Things found in a house. I got my air filtration. Oh in there as well. Oh, don't I. I got my five gallon bucket where I do my business, don't I? Oh, they don't have restroom on the back now. I feel like. Are you guys actually asking us? Yeah, yeah. What is down our boat? That's a house now, isn't it? Well, in our house, that's a houseboat, isn't it? You seen the movie seven? What's in my boat? What was in the boat? What's in my boat? Pop culture fan. So yeah. So you are old friends from grade school and then neighbors. Did you buy the place intentionally or did you find out you were neighbors and like, oh, I remember you from grade school. We lost touch in our adulthood and then we both found ourselves living on neighboring boats and we rekindled our relationship on date reduction. Redacted. Date redacted. Why? I don't think we care. Why. Why is the date redacted? No reason. We met up in. We separately met up in our nation's capital on date redacted. Okay, I understand what's happening. Hang on a second. Which we do celebrate that's very special day together on date redacted. So you, you're boat boys. Is that. Is that the majority of your interest, boat related or. Well, you know, know, we love where we live and we live where we love. You know what I mean? Absolutely. We love. We're hometown boat boys. We are layabout Scott. Okay, so you, you don't have jobs? No jobs. No need for jobs. No worries. No worries. Cuz cuz the boat got no worries. Cuz the boat provides. The boat provides no bean dip. You have a question? I did. Just two quick questions. Are you. Did you guys come from, like, a lot of family money. Oh, did we? Yes, we from old Southern money. Generational. Southern generational money. The south houses. Generations. Name a more iconic quattro quartet, maybe. Huh? What? That doesn't rhyme. Quattro. And the Audi Quattro. I'm gonna throw that know in. What was that Mars movie? Arnold Schwarz. Arnold Schwarzenegger was Mars Needs Moms. The Mars movie. Total Recall. Wasn't there a Quattro in there? There was a quado. With you. Quaid. Yeah, Quaid. Jack Quaid. Hollywood's good boy. Oh, we are good old boys. We are. Are you okay? I was worried about that. Were you? Yeah, I was. Yeah. That was my next question. You had another question, though. Well, I just want to know what was Harris named? Was a Harris named after a grocery store or was the grocery store named after him? Such a good question. Is there a grocery store named Harris? Harris Teeter. Harris Teeter. I'm actually Harris Teeter the eighth. Oh, wow. So that's where your money comes from. Absolutely. So you get free groceries. So. And you have a place to live, so I imagine you get free groceries. I walk in with no shirt, no shoes, but I get service. Hi. That's an awesome dude. Wow. We never have shirts on. We've got our boat shoes on. We got our. Our tan, little small salmon colored shorts, and we've got shirtless backs. Name a more iconic trio. Shirtless backs. So. But shirtful fronts. We got dickies on. God damn it. G. Was it Garth McGarth. McGarth. Sorry. Darby McGarth. Darby McGarth. Can you explain that V tattoo on chest? Oh, yeah. It's a tattoo of the movie Big. That's right. I love that movie. Iconic movie. So iconic. Me, Elizabeth Perkins, when she realized she had sex with a little boy. That's just what I wanted to happen to me. Somebody older, coming in, taking advantage. It never happened. No. No. Instead, I've been cleaning up on our little dock. Wait, why is the dog. So instead of having sex, you've been cleaning up on the dock? The little dock. Why is the dock so little? Ye. Yeah. Why is it miniature? It's such a tiny dog. It used to be bigger, but I had too much sex on it and collapsed part of the dock. Dang. Dang, Harrison. Sorry. Or congratulations. I'm not sure which to say. I refuse to have sex on my boat. Oh, wow. Why? Dude, the boat is for the boys. The boat is for the boys. Boats, boys. Bacon, beards. Barbecue sauce. Name a more iconic Cinco Cinco. Cinco. Quintet, maybe. You want to know where we live, Scott? Not really, but go ahead and tell me. I would love to know. You have side by side boats. Why not have one be for the boys, one be for the girls? No, the boats are for the boys. The dock is for sex. Okay? So if this dock's a rocking, don't come a knocking. Hey, man. Hey, man. Good luck getting your boat. If I'm having sex on the dock, the dock's too small for you to walk around. My love making. Scott. Yeah. Yes. You're holding up a sign that says, where are y'all from? Scott, you need to slow down. Too much of a coward to ask on mic. Sorry. We'll tell you where we're from. Does this answer the question, Scott? Up on Sham Creek, she shims me if I Sham Creek, she shims me. I don't have to. Creek, she shims me. Two dogs, man. The forever dishes. Sham Craig. Hell yeah, we're from Sham Craig. Oh, okay. Sham Craig. You guys are. You guys seem like a blast, man. Can we. Do we. Do we have to clear that? No, I'm pretty sure we have to. Dead on. That was incredible. Melodically, every element of that was perfect. Do we have to pay for that? I. I don't think so. Yeah, we pre got the rights to that. I'm pretty sure. I'm so sorry. I've gotten a text from Levon Helm's estate. They are furious. Hey, can we. Can we hang out on your boat someday? I mean, you said the boat is for the boy. Be bean div. I. I don't know whether you'd be invited. The boat. Hang out on the dock. Hey, I will get on their boat whether they like it or not. I'm going to see what's inside that boat. Some chairs from what I understand, an air filtration system, desk, computer. Name a more iconic duo. McGarth, are you just looking around Scott's room at this point? Guitar, coffee table. Comedy. Bang Bang. Book. Name of our iconic trio. This is starting to become almost an improv opening exercise. We're getting close to. These are five things. Let's do a Harold. Okay. We'll do an organic opening plate deconstruction style. Your suggestion is Burrito. Burrito. We see a bunch of beans hopping towards the stage. They've been refried, so they're tired. They're tired. Beans. Over behind the curtain, there's a tortilla. Watching them get out there, the tortillas slowly start to levitate as if they're alien spaceships. Whoa. They look like UFOs. And aliens are coming out of those tortillas. A crowd gathers and chants. This is not an ordinary burrito. This is Taco Bell's new burrito. This opening is sponsored by Taco Bell. And now we lead you into the first scene of the first beat. Can I get another taco? I'm starving. Okay, well, how much would you like to pay for the taco today? I think just $3, please. Okay, well, that'll be okay. How about 2? 90, 25? That sounds actually much better. Thank you. Edit while the coin's in the air. The opening. The opening was a description. The opening was a description of a scene that we didn't get to see. Even see. Wow. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe I've been abducted by aliens. Oh, okay. The Herald continues. The Herald continues. Well, we'll stop the Herald there. While the coin's in the air. While the coin is in the air. Harris, more. Harold McGarth. Are you guys improvisers from wherever you're from? Aren't we all improvisers? Okay. Life is an improv show. Free will, conversations, improv shows. It's funny the Harris that Harris says free will because I would think because they live on boats, he would have said Free Willy. Yeah, that's a good point. Would have been smart. Yeah. Be honest. If Free Willy flew over your boat, you'd be tempted to stick your finger in his blowhole. Oh, yeah. You ever put your finger inside a blow hole? I don't think so. I mean, not intentionally. I'm going tell you something right now. It's better than the At Chim Gr. It. That's some good pussy. G. Please put your fingers away. We don't want to smell. Look how many I can fit in. We don't want to smell those. All 10 thumbs and thumbs. 10. And your thumbs and thumbs and thumbs. I'm noticing you have an extra finger on each of your hands. I've got 12. And McGarth is. Am I. Am I seeing this right? The two extra fingers seem to be rotten. Yeah, those. They got smashed between my boat and his boat on two separate occasions. They're dead fingers. You know, when you have a dead tooth in your mouth, it's all gray like that. But fingers, you could probably let it fall off and then you'd have the normal amount of fingers. No, when I say normal, I mean or chop them off. What's normal? You like giving them the dozen, right? Scott Aukerman's Being Ableist. About. I'm sorry, I mean, the. So what? Just. Just for McGarth to be normal, they have to chop off two fingers? Well, I'm just saying, like, two of your fingers are rotten. They seem like they're hanging on by a thread anyway. Scott, you ever put your fist inside a dolphin's ass? I know. I have. Done any of these things? Give it a full dozen. Was the movie Free Worldly? A meditation on free will? Oh, right. Question. That's all I've been thinking about. It is being Lusso. Am I pronouncing your name correctly? Being Lusso. Being Lusso. Being Lusso. It's my regional accent butchering your name. As far as being Ludo, anytime I'm out of my region of the country, I get so self conscious about pronouncing people. Do you think we have accents? Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, but everyone does. I'm hearing a little something and everyone has their own accent. It feels like y'all have accents to us. Hey. Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Just think about Cujo. Then put a L on it. It. Right. Well, you think about binging it. Oh, Showtime's for the movie Cujo. Oh. We went over this in an earlier segment. Amazing that you and I have both hit on the exact same way to figure remember his name. I have 31 copies of Catcher in the Rye. And I have 31 flavors of ice cream. Welcome to Basket Robin's. Oh, is the improv still going? I'll have the alien special. Your character work, Magarth is great. Thank you so much. Use your space work, you slip into a completely different person. I'm transformed when I'm on the stage. My specialty is scene painting. This character is wearing Sperry Topsiders. It's funny because I'm actually wearing a pair. That is funny. Oh, yeah. Why do you have so many copies of Caster in the Rye? I don't know. I have compulsive behavior. He's an addict. I watched the movie Conspiracy Theory with Mel Gibson one too many times. How many times have you seen it? Three times. Yeah, two is about right. Two. More than one is three. I love mathematics. Watching Mel Gibson's Conspiracy Theory once and watching Mel Gibson's Conspiracy Theory twice. Name a more iconic duo. Whoa. You blow their mind. They're flipping out. Whoa. Oh, my God. What's in my mind? What's in my mind? What do I do? What do I do? They can't name a more iconic duo. I can't name one. I can't name one. That's the Most iconic duo. Oh, shoot. Oh, God. Who's got a paper bag? Their eyes are spinning around in their heads. We edit the scene as their eyes are spinning. Excuse me, Mr. Alien. A. Hey, how's it going? Yes. I need to return this burrito. Okay. Well, it looks like this a burrito that you paid $2.95 for. I will take that back. And yeah, you get $. Where are you getting burritos for $2.95? The south is j. Y'all watch Southern characters. Y'all watching big uf Southern charm. We. Are you kidding me? Partied with Shep. Shep? Shep Rhodes? Yeah. He has a passive income from real estate. Yeah, he's a layabout. You know, every time I've gotten Covid, it's been from Shep's mouth. How many times? Count them. I got Kobe from chef. One time. Two times. Three times. Four times. Five times. Six times. Name a more iconic six. Zero. Six zero. It's a six. Zero. God damn it. Name a more iconic six. Zero. Let me see that thong. What? Cisco Was Cisco big. Name a more iconic thong. Cisco. And I need. That's two thongs. More iconic. What's a more iconic thong? Oh, Kate Moss, when she wore that see through dress, you could see that thong coming out. Ah. Are you horny right now? Oh, shoot. I got to go put a sock on the dock. Let him know I'm going to be Put a sock on the whole dock. I put a sock on the dock. Scott, are we all going to answer that? I guess so. Yeah, sure. Yes. Bean dip. Are you horny? You? Oh, yeah, man. Okay, go ahead. Y'all got to come down to the dock and into the boat. Okay. I want my boat boys there. We're not on that dock. What happens? Like, how do you get people to come to the dock with you? Like, it feels like that would be kind of sketchy seeming. It's like a pod Piper thing. I play my flute. Piper, no. Popper, no. Oh, wait a minute. What's that from again? They stole that from us. White Lotus stole that from. They stole that from us. God damn it, Popper, No. I play my flute, and people who don't want to be horny, they say piper, no. And you think Mike White was just walking by one day and then wrote it down in his notebook or something of good ideas. He's staying at the four season. Is that near the docks? Is it near up on sham Craig? She sham me. If I sham she sham. I don't have to sham. She cranks me. Wow. It's near Sham Creek. It's near it. Okay. The four season Sham Creek. So close to Sham Creek, you could smell it. What's it smell like? Four seasons Autumn. Smells like autumn, summer, autumn. Not summer, autumn, summer, winter, winter, summer, summer, spring, spring, autumn. More iconic autumn. Let me let Magarth cook. Let. Oh, summer, winter. In summer. Not even more iconic. Quattro dang bean dip is blown away. Well, this is, this is incredible. I. I would love to be a boat boy with you one of these days. Absolutely love to have you. Do we have just an open invite. Can we drop? And when we say boys, it's all inclusive. Yeah. So you, you pay one fee and you don't have to pay for anything afterwards. No, I mean any gender. Any gender. Bean dip. You're welcome. The only, the only rule is if you're going to have sex or masturbate, it's got to be on the dock. Even masturbate. What happens. Forgive me, but what happens when you guys take the boats out on the ocean? We don't go out there. Oh, oh, no. Or are the boats inoperable? Far too dangerous. Yeah. We wait for the dolphins, the whales to come to us. Yeah. We ride on them. It's very ski style. It's very accommodating that you. That's the option to masturbate. Y'all look like you need to masturbate. Honestly, I got to say, when I go, when I go to a party, I look for that invite. Yeah. I'm like, okay, here's the chips, here's the dips. But like, where do we jack off? Thank you. Exactly. Social anxiety is at an all time high if, if that's what keeps it at bay for you. Don't you worry. We got ed medication and bowls on the, on the boat. Take a couple of those and you're set to go. Masturbation. I mean, I'm very happy that you guys are. Have found each other because there is an epidemic of loneliness amongst young men and for the boat boys to have found each other is a move in the right direction. Yeah. Community understanding. Oh, okay. Long time talks, walks on the beach, sand in your shorts. These are five sper on your feet, wind in your hair, a gleam in your eye. I'm a mora ado. Hey, guys, the speed that you rattled that off was incredible. And, and how many fingers had to be put up and down and then looked at confusedly? Scott, I hope, I hope you slow that down for the listeners because we said it will do. Don't Worry about that segment. Slow it all down. If only on single time. If only the. The listener could have seen McGarth panic stricken, looking at their fingers, trying to figure out what the hell this meant. How many is this? My guard. Hey, I got you, buddy. Thank you, buddy. You're not the strongest math elite. You're my boat boy. You're my boat boy. Listen to me, do, man. How you doing? You guys, I gotta ask you. That was wild to watch. Y'all list off those this st. And, like, I don't. I'm not trying to offend you, but have y'all ever thought about, like, turning toward each other romantically? Whoa, whoa. I mean, the boat is for the boys. The boat's for the boys. Y'all have a connection. I'm just gonna say it. Wow. Bean dip's onto something. I mean, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it. I'd be lying if I hadn't said, under the pink sky sky and the clouds of the low country with sand between my feet, I haven't turned and looked into McGarth's eyes and thought, God damn, those lips look juicy tonight. I think with bean Dip, Harris and McGarth, we've got an E2 Mama Tambien situation. Hey, I'm not opposed. E2 Mama Tombie and I'll have that special at the burrito shop, please. Oh, that'll be 2 95. Thank you so much. We edit as the coiners of the air. Now that you mentioned it, we have had a lot of threesomes where we kind of ignore the third and just focus on each other. That's a tip off. Okay, now that you say it, we're both on either side of our. Of our boats kind of, you know, going at each other and that. They're on the dock with the sock. Yeah, the. The ladies are on the sock dock. You guys are on. On separate boats going at each other. Yeah. With telescopes pointed at each other. You can expedite this process. Just get on the same boat. These objects are closer than they appear. Did you hear that? Get on the same boat. Yeah. How about we get on the same boat? Oh, my God. What's happening? Harris McGarth. Name a more iconic duo. Whoa. Harris, Tater, McGarth. Darby. No. Name the more iconic duo. I'm sobbing, I'm crying. I'm hugging you. Is this. Is this like an official wedding ceremony? You're describing what's happening. This must be an opening of an improv scene. We're we're holding each other's hands. I'm touching your knees. We're locking fingers. I've got. Got your. I got my head near your handle. Your head, your handle. What the hell? They're rising into the air. Oh, God. I see he does have handles. I'm doing a handstand. You're holding my ankles. This is beautiful. We're in 69 position, but fully clothed. They're ascending to the ceiling. This is just what Chip does. This is just what he does on that show. We're both boys. We're the real deal. We're the real deal. Nobody's questioning their final words were, we're the real deal. We're the boat boys. We're the real deal. Incredible. And then they floated up through the skylight like the end of Greece. Yeah, just like the end of Greece. Wow. Well, guys, I think we need to take a break. Who knew? Yeah, who knew indeed. But we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more with Jason Manzoukas. More guests are even coming up, if you can believe it. We'll be right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this. This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Here's what it is. 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Very filled. But I'm glad because I didn't eat a meal, you know, and it's a long, long record. You're good for another six weeks. Yeah. This is a six week malted. You were saying? It's my famous six week malted. Eat it in one day and you won't have to eat for another six weeks. You won't be able to. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. If you try, you'll give. Very sick. Oh, okay. I did not know that. There. There should be some sort of disclaimer on the trash can that it's in. I feel like if you. If you drink it malted out of a trash can. Yeah. You should know. You're gonna be. Yeah, you're gonna be sick. Yeah, exactly. Well, you will start. You will get sick. You will cry. Oh, cry. Oh, I didn't realize crying was, you know, I haven't cried in about 30 years. This will make you cry. Oh, okay. You haven't cried at all. You haven't cried at anything. I mean, many of life's events have happened to you. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, some serious shit's gone down. You're saying happy and sad. Yeah. No, I don't think years either. No. Not even at a commercial. No, No. I watched Super Bowl. A lot of men will say that they don't cry. Except for one commercial. No, there was one thing. Picture like a dog that looks kind of wet. All right. And he's in a little cage in the arms of the angels. Lies away. I'm imagining Sarah McLaughlin. Beautiful. There was one time that I did cry, I can't remember in the past few years. It was when Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer put on those African costumes and they kneeled. That was beautiful. Yeah, I thought it was you in court. Who. Who wouldn't. Who did cry? That was very moving. All right, let's get to our next guest. Could you imagine where we'd be today if they didn't do that? Oh, man, the world would be going to hell. Let's get to our next guest. He was on the show once before a couple of months ago, I believe. Please welcome back to the show Russ Suaro. Howdy, Scott. Oh, hang on. Is this your voice now? Let me hear how super quick. Where Are you from. I'm from, well, Arizona mostly. A little bit of Texas, but now I am staying where they cross over. Right. Just a little bit of Texas and Arizona overlap. Yes. It's the part of Texas that skips New Mexico. Right. Just skips it right over to Arizona. It's, you know, it's like taking the local. If you're right, you don't want to see. And you are. You had a. A bit of a confusing story when you were here before because I hadn't seen the show. Landman, I don't think you need to see the show to have a nice time with me. Scott, what was your. I do happen to be a water man. I'm in Los Angeles working with their department of Water and Power. But mostly I am staying in your adu. That's right. As you know. But I'll remind the audience, of course. And just trying to get used to all these modern amenities that you have in Los Angeles that are not really for me. Yeah. What are some of the modern amenities? Because, well, the current one I am dealing with is still your Sling tv, Scott, Right? Yes. You were unable to get channels. You have a Sling box in the adu. Yeah. Well, you know, we don't want to put actual cable in here. I understand. We don't want to pay for the hookups. I've got no problem with it, but I'm trying to watch my World's Series of Poker and every time. How often does that occur, by the way? Because you're always saying, I'm trying to watch the World Series of Poker. Do they have like 12 a year? It's one a year. It happens in the summer, but thank God. So technology is not all bad. Now we have a network on Sling that shows all poker all the time. Oh, wow. You said we have a show on Sling. Are you part of Sling? I would love to be. I meant we, the. The people. Yes. As our constitution begins as the greatest document known to American man has ever been. Yeah. You pulled out a pocket constitution out of your front pocket and you're waving it in the air right now. Well, I am constantly waiting to be shot in the chest and hoping that that will protect me. Yeah. It does not look metallic at all. And now that I'm noticing it, you do have a number of other pockets that look like they also have Constitution. I'm pretty well protected. You're also wearing a bulletproof proof vest, so that'll probably do the trick better than the concert. Well, you also have one of those plexiglass drummer cages and like the Pope mobile hat around it. That's right. It appears that every limb is individually miked. And you're wearing a suit of armor. This is maybe overkill. I happen to disagree. I love my country. Every item you mentioned is either forged by something Constitution related. The frame that the constitution is in the glass that's on it. Okay, what about the armor? The armor is the armor that every single founding padre had to wear when making it cool, by the way. Oh, yeah, yeah, Daddy. They each put on they donned a suit of armor to sign. I had no idea. But does Don JR have his own suit of armor? They don the suit of armor, but Don has donned no suit of armor yet. I see. Okay. Got it. Is that, Is that. That makes total sense to me. Thank you very much. So what are you doing here? Well, I, I, I wanted to pop by because I'm gonna go. This is more than a Popeye at this point. Oh. Because I sat in front of a microphone and I kind of bumped the guest out of the way to ask you about this. You made our previous three guests leave. You said you wanted to talk to me privately, and then. And then you said, roll tape. They said they could stay, and you said, I'd rather you not. I've got big stuff to do. And I appreciate them leaving and respecting a boundary that a couple of you did not respect. And also you. You FaceTimed a bomb threat with just those three people. Yeah, but I think it was pretty anonymous because I had one of the Animojis on. It was a bomb threat from a T. Rex, as far as they know. But it is very important. I'd rather just talk to you, Scott, but since everyone's here, I'm just a little. Hey, you know what? Anything you say to me, you can say to my great friends Bing Lujo and Jason Manzoukas. That's right, Scott. Name a more iconic trio. We'll wait. Third Eye Blind. But anyway. Shit. I didn't think you'd be able to do it so fast. I just want. I need to ask you. I am going to see. You can just ask me. You don't say you need to ask me. You can just ask something. Okay, so I'm going to say a sentence now. Okay, sure. Which will end with a question mark. Okay, sure. To which I would like a response. I am suitably prepared. All right. I am seeing Sinners at the AMC movie theater. The movie are just people that you are sitting in judgment of. I mean, at an AMC Both can be true. Yes, I've done both. But today is Ryan Coogler's film Sinners, and maybe I'll stick around after, eat myself a little bit of cold stone creamery, sit on the Batman statue and look at sinners. But the question I have for you is, in this newfangled world, what time do I get there? It used to be you showed up at a movie. They started the trailers, there'd be two or three. This is stand up. And then the moves. No, hang on. This is stand up. You don't like this? It has the marking. Stand up. This is why I wanted to just talk privately, because I'm already being humiliated here in a way that you would not have humiliated. What are you asking? Are you asking? You want to. You want to dip in just two trailers before the movie? The things just used to be so different from me to simple water man. And I'm just having trouble as a man in this crazy world. You were a man twice. Well, I am. One was water man, which is kind of a title. Title, title. And the other probably. I mean, but a water person, probably, because anybody can do this job. Yes, but I. I don't want to get into it, but I happen to be a water man. I see. And I believe, with no broad commentary, that the water person should be a man. I don't believe that about all jobs. That's. I mean, you can't just say you believe something. Come on. He said with no broad commentary. Okay, thank you. And while I appreciate that, I think that is a. That's a way to. To try and avoid any scrutiny, which I think we should be applying. It is. Hey, you were. You were tricked by the best. Well, that's a man's game. It's like the end of the John Wick movies. You and me facing off mano e mano, mano e mano mano. Emano. You weren't sure which one it was, so you better split it. I hit both and I. Now I got all audiences. And you cannot accuse me of mangling my spangling. Didn't it used to be mano a mano, which was man to man? I believe so. And now it's man and man. I believe so. Now what's the broad commentary here? It's Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve. Did he get me again? I think he did. Two points for the water man. Yeah, I saw your toe on the line. Yeah, that's right. Well, I shouldn't have worn my size 15 cowboy booths. So what. What are you Asking me. Well, at what time did you get there? Get there 10 minutes before. The trailers nowadays are about a half hour. Okay, so ten minutes before what? Including all the, you know, Maria Menounos trivia. I want to see that. You want to see that? Don't you want to see Coke and Sprite race to the death? I didn't realize it was to the death. I just assumed. I assumed because they wanted the. They would get drunk. Do you want to. Do you want to do the. The name jumble. One of them is Don Cheadle. Do you want to see. Well, now I don't. Do you want to see the ads for, you know, you. You two. Your business can advertise here. Yes. This is the most captive audience. I have a business I'd like to advertise. Okay, you want to get there like an hour before the movie then. Christ. Okay. I should probably roll soon then. Why? What time is your movie? 3:00pm today? Yes, it's past 3. It's 6:00pm right now. Well, God damn it, I'm missing Sinners. Oh, yeah. Once again. They'll show it again. They show movies all day. They didn't used to be that way. It would be one screening and you mostly went just to get into the cool air. So this is post air conditioning. Yeah, but preoccupied. One movie a day, correct? Yeah. What were they doing the rest of the day at the. The theater? Yes. Cleaning up the popcorn. Asked and answered, Rex. Theaters didn't used to be so sticky, Scott. The only reason the floors are that sticky now is too many showings. In my opinion, they would do a full deep clean after every showing. Like 12 hours of cleaning. Right. This man knows. I gotta ask you, where'd you go to high school? Where do I go to high school? Currently at East Valley High School in North Hollywood. Oh, you are going. Oh, wow. Well, I go to high schools to just explain to the kids how things used to be different. You're invited. No, no, you don't have to be invited to it. It's not vampire rules at high schools. I understand. Is it just in the quad? Yes. I go into the quad and I get a little hacky sack so the kids think we're having a fun. A little hacky sack, not one of the big ones. Well, how could you kick a big one? Why do they make them? If you can't kick a big hacky sack, why make a big sack? Now these guys know what it's like to be a man in this crazy world. You see a big hacky sack and you go, it didn't used to be this way. Yeah. And you go and you go to people that work at stores, and you spend 30 to 45 minutes telling them how it used to be and why it's wrong now. And they say, sir, that's a beanbag chair, not a beanbag chair. So you've had the same issue. I've had this issue. Love Sack. And this is a Wendy's. Russ, I don't think the world has changed all that much. I mean, like, they're still showing movies. They still have trailers. Like, maybe they. They have a couple more than they used to. Maria Menounos is kind of new. That's true. It's in her name. Compared to the Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman is there. That's new. New Cole Kidman. New Coke. Kidman. New Coke. New Coke Kidman. New Coke Kidman. She should change her name. New Coke Kidman. Yeah, change her name to New Coke. New Coke Kidman. They kind of did that with New Coke in a way. They said, it's New Coke, and then they went, New Coke. Oh, I get it. New Coke. Kidna. New Coke. Bess. Kidna. Kid. Kidia. Kidney. I'm kidding you. Oh, I thought you meant kidneys. No, but maybe Nucle. Kidney. New Coke Kidney. Should Nicole Kidman change her name to New Coke Kidney? Let's put a survey up in the podcast right now and see what the fans are saying. Yeah. Vote on this in the chat. Nco. Kidney. Kidney Bean. Okay, I know that's gilding the lily. Yeah. Wait, hang on. I don't want to shut it down right away. We could maybe make kidney bean really something. Jason. No, no, no. By the way, Russ, you're not part of this. We were riffing here. See, this always happens. Scott, I've been in your alternate dwelling unit for a little couple months now. Kidney beans should be what Jason Bourne's name is now. Yes. Oh, yeah. The bean identity. I wish Bean Dip was still here. I know. She'd have a field day. Ears are hot right now. May I ask why? Why what? Kidney bean should be as human. I want to waste the bean. Yeah. We brought up the bean. Jason brought out the bean. We feel bad for him. We got to move it into that. All right. The bean ultimatum. Yep, that's right. The bean dependency. The bean dependency. That's gotta be one of the ones that stars Renner. Well, Russ, it's great getting to know you. It's been absolutely. Never have I believed you less in my life. Scott, I love every moment we've had together because it's mainly you asking me sling TV questions. That's pretty much the foundation of our relationship. Well, I've got another one. Scott, I keep trying to get on your wifi down there. We intentionally have not given you the password. Okay. So it doesn't pop up on your phone when I try to get up. Like a friend of yours is trying to get on the popping up that Russ Suaro wants your WI fi password. I would love to be on there. I would love to put that DNS in. In my day, we'd all just share one Internet together. But this world is so segmented with everyone's Wi Fi. No, it's an 8 Maine Aukerman guest. Why can't I be on Maine with you? Yeah, because it was right there in the contract that you are required to pay for your own Internet. We don't want to be paying for, by the way. And I've seen your Internet bill that's come to the house. It accidentally got delivered to me. I mean, like, is it supposed to list all these weird sites that you go to? I requested that because I want my bill itemized because I don't want them screwing me on that. So I want to say every website and be like, I don't think I visited that one. But it's been pretty accurate. Accurate. But yeah. What is bork.gov? well, I'll tell you. What is it? It is a drunken typo, almost Justice Robert Bork, I think it might be. I haven't just. That's what. I don't know. How many near Supreme Court justices are we mentioning? You've been there thousands of times. Harriet Mayer. You know that thing where you remember that you, like, you know, someone's name is either like, Chris or Sean. Okay. And you're like, I know I got it wrong. Last time. I think I said Chris. So I'm gonna say Sean this time. You go, hey, Sean. And one of the times I'll be wrong. Yes, but you're wrong. I have that because I keep looking to download a digital download of a Bjork album, and I think it's. Keep downloading an analog download of it. You're trying to download a record. I've tried to download a record. Well, I'm accidentally. And so I'm like, well, I think I went to bjork.gov last time. So this time I'll go to bork.gov, makes sense. And then if that doesn't work, you'll keep taking one Letter out of it. Yes. So I go to Bo Go. Which is, of course, the Obama's dogs. Of course. Russ, I thought we wrapped up earlier. Oh, is that a wrap up? Usually when I say it's nice meeting you. Oh, I thought. I thought it was just a nice thing to say to somebody. It's nice meeting you. I am getting the. Keep the. I think I'm getting the stretch signal. Stretch it out. Stretch it out signal. Okay, what about this? Okay, we don't have time for your stand up. Your witty observations about the modern world. We don't have time for. For any of them. All right, well, this is why, you know, I would like to just have a nice man's dinner with you one night without all of this and no offense, riff raff around. Cause then you get into your. You can't say no offense and then say something really offensive to people. I can't say no offense. I can't preface my questions. Riff raff is pretty. That's not a compliment. Well, it is if I'm referring to the recent Bill Murray Ed Harris movie, which I gave four stars on my letterbox. Okay, I'm not. Again, I'm not interested in your letterbox. You've tried to get me to go visit that. I can't tell where you live politically. What if it's Richard O'Brien's character from a Rocky Horror Picture Show? Then I would say it's a compliment, but you're very crafty. Okay, Russ. It's been nice knowing you. Are you gonna kill me? I'm not gonna kill you. You can stick around. In fact. Oh, right on. You can stick around. We just. We need to get to our next guest. I just gotta catch a movie, but please, you missed the movie. Okay, well, I don't know what I'm doing tonight then. Okay, I'm not interested. But you can stick around till the end of the show. I'm gonna Poobelle. Okay, now, I really don't know what's going on with you. Are you going to La Poo Belle? Yes, on the Franklin block near tcp. I'm beefing with them because, as you may know, the people who take videos of them and post them online, I have been in the background holding different Van Leeuwen ice creams in every video, and it has embarrassed me in front of my family in France. Too specific. I like specific references, but this is. I don't think anyone knows what you're talking about other than maybe four people at this table. Well, I don't want to leave Jason's question hanging about the flavors. Cookies and cream. Okay, great. Vegan cookies and cream. Yeah, I like that one. You have vegan cookies and cream. And cookies and cream. I prefer the vegan, believe it or not. But you buy both. Well, I didn't want to because I was like vegan ice cream, but we got these cows. We are a country of farms. They said, just try it, Waterman. And I said, I'll do it once, but I don't like trying new things. And it blew my dick off. Right off. And so you went to the non vegan one to see if you could. Russ, we were wrapping up. Are the cookies and cream both vegan? You gotta be. Yeah. Oreos are vegan treats. Is that true? Oreo is. Yes. Is vegan. Because they're just made with science. Yes, because it's literally all the preservatives. Okay. Russ. Russ Varro. Can I ask him one more question? Whatever you need. Whatever. Go crazy at this point. What's a man's dinner to you? Oh, great question, King. Well, it used to be a nice Chinese dinner. What? Wait a minute. Did not anticipate that. Eaten out of the. A succulent Chinese meal. A succulent Chinese meal eaten out of a box amongst friends while you're kind of trying to come up with the best idea together. It's midnight. You got the chopsticks on the rice. But now. And I used to get it delivered straight from the restaurant, but now I've got to use doordash and Postmates is Uber eats. Now, Scott, you could go around them and just call the restaurant. Just stand up. Don't disagree. Just stand up. Yeah, I'm not interested. This is just exposition for the joke. I. I don't care. I don't care. Well, please don't imply that there is a joke at the end. It's all setups, no punchlines. Yeah, I guess so. Okay, look, Russ Suaro is here. We need to move on to our next guest. Russ Wireless. Here. Suaro. Suaro, Yes. I thought you were doing a new guy. Russ Wireless. Here. Russ Wireless. Hello. I'm just now noticing that Russ has, like, a tan line on his wedding ring finger. I guess we can ask about that. What's going on? I just. Just, Just look. If you just noticed it. Just noticed. So this is late breaking news. What's going on? I am recently separated. But what you're noticing is it's a reverse tan, by the way, it's darker where the ring used to be. That's my mistake. Because what. What happened was we broke up and I took it off, and there was no tan line, and I wanted people to ask, so I went to a covered salon. You covered the rest of your body other than the ring? Yes. And they. And then I left and I went, oh, this was a mistake. So I'm not this dark normally. All right, let's get to him. It's the 16th anniversary, so of course, we have guests that we love returning. And then also a new guy. Let's welcome him. He is a community activist. Please welcome Jim Reese. Oh, thank you, Scott, so much for having me. Of course. Yeah, this is Russ Suaro, if you're interested. How are you? Pleasure. What's that about? Tell me about what you just did. What's the spitting? It's a cowboy handshake. You spit on your hands to let each other know you both. That was more than. You hocked up a pretty good loogie there. Yeah. And you didn't do that to anybody else when you met them in the room? Well, I knew a man when I saw a man there, and I'm sorry. I had milk. That's why it was a bigger loogie than normal. Oh, yeah. I have a cloying amount of milk in Starburst. Cloying amount. Yeah. And I don't think that a cowboy handshake includes a loogie. Yeah, that's where things are different on the West Coast. Please. I've left you hanging. Let's get that handshake. He's really going in for it. Whoa. Feel it in there. Jim Reese, welcome to the show. Thanks so much. I hope. Look, I know this is a comedy show, right? Yeah, it can be, but we get serious sometimes. Okay. Because I have a serious issue I want to talk about. I live in Los Angeles at Comedy Bang Bang. We care. I've heard that. Yeah, that's getting around, yeah. Oh, I think so. I think it's getting around. And if you're a community activist, this is. You know, this show goes out to the greater Los Angeles community, so it's a good place to get your platform. That's exactly. I want to get a message out there. And if. And if you speak to. This is being Lujo, by the way. Hi. Oh, hello. How are you? Nice to meet you. Oh, it's great. Do you want a hug? Okay. Come on in. What about a cowboy hug? You guys spit on each other's arms and I spit on my chest. How about just for good measure, Christian side hug? Okay. Yeah, let's keep it Here we go. There we go. All right. It's nice to have human contact. My wife died yesterday. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Yesterday. Are you sure? Yeah, she's. Look, we're older people. It's fine. Still, you get died yesterday, you get past it really fast. Every day he's here, he says about it. I didn't see you go whispering. No, I. I don't know. I think he's either reliving the same day over and over again. Like he's just confused about when his still sad. Yeah. Anyway, I. Bing. Yeah, hi. Yeah, hi, Bing. Oh, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. So what were you going to talk about? Anti littering. Okay. Okay. There's too much littering in the streets of Los Angeles. So you want people to anti litter? You want them to throw away non litter? No, I'm hoping that they pick up the litter. So throw things out the window that are just not technically litter. No. So throw things that are meant to be be out the window. Out the window. Throw leaves out the window onto the ground. No, no, no, no. Just the literally it have to be out of a window. Doesn't throw it out. Maybe a doorway. None of these. It shouldn't be at a window or a door. Just the litter. What do you want us to throw? What do you define as non litter? Like a television set? I. Well, if it's. If it's in a living room and being used, that is not litter. So you throw that out the door? Well, not necessarily. I'm hoping that there's. See, there's a lot. I don't get what you're saying. So let's start by defining litter. Great question. Great. And you, who are you? Huh? Jason. This is Jason Manzouka. Nice to meet you. A pleasure. So a litter of, let's say. So for example, a litter of puppies. Well, you know, oddly enough that's not the litter that I'm talking about. So you're fine with people throwing away like newborn kittens? You said you're anti litter. You are anti litter. You did say that. I did, I did. So you're anti dog, anti cat, anti. Anti any. Anti lift, anti lac. You know it. If, if it's necessary for the environment, then I will be anti. Yeah, I like where this tune's going. Yeah. You're anti dog, anti cat, anti this, anti that. He's against it all. He doesn't care if you throw it out the door. I didn't think I was going to use this. Drum major. Stick I brought. Thank you so much. So wait, did you pick that off. Off the ground? Yes. Or this was. Someone threw that away. I assume it was thrown away. Perfectly good drum major. That's what I'm. I'm surprised at. So I. But I picked it up because it was thrown. Thrown away and that's hurting the environment. Are you happy that you were able to pick it? Are you happy that you found the. The thing and that it was useful here? Yes. Then that's not litter. Did that make you happy? Then that's not a bad. Did that make you happy? Yes. Yes. So then a good. Then litter made you happy? Well, no, but only once. It was no longer litter. Right. Turning it from litter to non. Litter made me happy. When did that happen? When I. Okay. When I found a use for it. When I found a use for the trash. Right. One man's trash, as they say. Yes. What do they say is bad? Oh, yes. Or. Right. Or another man's useful item. Okay. Right. So I'm saying, look, here's. What do you feel about litter in the word literature? That's a good question. Never thought about it. It's a good ass question. I've never. I would. Well, I'm pro literature, certainly. What is your favorite book? My. Or as. Sorry. Novel. Okay. I'm not much of a Bible. Okay. I wasn't. I wasn't gonna say the Bible. I'm not much of a reader, to be honest, so I'm afraid this question might be like, can read? Yeah. What have you read in your life? Just as list all the books you've read. I like in order. A Snowy Day. That was the first book you ever read, I think maybe. Yes. A Snowy Day. The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The Mountain Pretty Advanced. The Master. It's from what I remember. The Master of the Motorcycle. The Lion. The Witch in the Wardrobe. I'm skipping some. I'm sure these are the ones that are coming to mind. And what's the last book that you read? The most recent book I read and hopefully it has a creature and an item. It's not my fault that the genre of children. Mouse and the Motorcycle. The lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. That's. I'm. That's not the Elephant and the Stool. No, the Elephant. Sorry. No, I'm not. I'm not calling out things I'm seeing right now. I'm sorry. The. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Okay, well, that has a fault and some stars. Name a more iconic duo. Me, Lennon McCartney. We don't like this guy. We don't like the Beatles. Well, I'm left. They're not here anymore. Let's just talk about the Stones. Okay. So what do you want to talk about? I'm lost saying. It's very simple message. Is it? It's seeming so let's. You need to strip some of the elements out of this. Okay, great. If I. No, hey, that's good for me to know if there's good feedback. I want to take that feedback and. And make it better. I want less litter in Los Angeles. So pick it up. Okay, well, I am. I am picking it up. You want less litter in Los Angeles? Pick it up. Pick it up. I am. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Hey, put your drum major stick down. It fits in. It keeps being useful. Let me. Let me. Sorry. This is Russo. Hey, nice to meet you. We. We did a cowboy. Oh, yeah, the cowboy. We know each other deeply and intimately. I am noticing you and most advocates for things that I would consider non masculine, like picking up litter. Come in with this non alpha energy. And you're letting these guys big dog you about a thing you love. I think you gotta big dog them and say, I love to hate litter. Okay. And anyone who. Who doesn't is a coward. And then you shoot them or you pull out a gun or a knife or threaten them. Can they hear this? Are we in? Yeah, no, we're hearing everything. Oh, really? Well, I'm not going to shoot anybody. But you know what? I will try to. I'll try to alpha it up a little bit. Okay, Russ? Okay, There we go. Hey, assholes don't like that. What'd you say? I said, hey, asshole. Hey, you got a problem with me? Stop pushing my shoulder. Stop pushing my shoulder. I didn't know his sleeves could roll up that high. He's really getting ready to. To fight, like right up to the pit. It looks tight starting Noah Wy. Oh, you're getting. Oh, I'm going to go Dr. Robbie on you. His arms are turning purple. It's too tight. Too tight. I got. Oh, I got them purple arms. I don't like litter. Okay. We should pick up litter. That's what I'm saying that we got. We got to clean up this town. So you're saying you want us all to pick up litter? I don't respond well to being yelled at. Are we all going to get one of those poles with the nail on the end? No, this is just a drum major staff that I found on the way and I. And I. And I. No, no, but he's talking about things. The thing that he. Stop talking about your poll. Right. I can't get you one of those. Yes. I. I can't promise. We all want. Yes, and we want good ones. We don't want shitty ones. There's no shitty ones. You want us to pick up the litter? I. I think we should all do our part, then. Give us the. Give us the sticks. You know what we should do is convince people not. Not to litter. Then we won't have to pick. Now that's a good idea. Using our sticks. I don't need you to rubber stamping. We should use our. Our sharp sticks to threaten people. Yeah, that. If you litter. Yeah. We're gonna stab you. I've got one sharp stick. I have one sharp stick. Here. I'll give it to you. Bing. Thank you. Okay, so you. You asked for it. Wait a second. That's just a stick with a nail on it. We can make that. Let's make more of those. No, that. That. Well, yeah, that's how I. I just fashioned that. You didn't invent it, though, did you? Well, I'm not trying to. Pat, we can do it without you. That's fine with me. I don't need to. We don't need you as part of this process. That's great. I'm just. I'm just trying to. I'm just trying to get the message. Wait a minute, wait a minute. This guy's tricking us into picking up all the litters. Tom Sawyering us. That's not at all. That's what I'm saying. I don't want to. Yeah, you pick it up. You pick up all the litter and then come back and tell us how it went. I've picked up some of the litter. I've done my part. Some have. How much? Which pieces? Yeah, I don't have a list of the. Well, let me see. 2 plastic from an individually wrapped slice of cheese. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, guys. I'm seeing some litter right outside the door here. Yeah, it's a piece of paper that's been crumpled up. Yeah, let me. Let me undo this. Yeah, I'll crumple it. This is a list of books, and this is a lot like the list of books that you've said you've read. All right, so it's my garbage. What do you want? What do you want? So you're. I littered a little bit. A little bit. I littered a litter bit just to come inside I didn't want to. My yard is strewn with pieces of paper. I would not say it is strewn, sir. I think that is an overstatement. We're not at strewn. So you're. You're responsible for the rash of littering that this town has seen over the rash. The literati. I'm not the literati. I'm not the litter rash. I leave a few things behind when I go inside people's homes. Clean up your own mess. Have you. Sorry. Have you noticed that there's a big pile of human shit outside the door? Is that you as well? Yes. Are you not litter? Did you want me to shit inside your house? I think that would be rude. That's a shitter. Are you shittering? Yes. Are you karate. Shittering is not littering because it melts. Not fast enough. It melts. It melts. Shit melts. It melts like ice cream. Yes. What do you mean shitter? A thing that only a childless man could say. I don't know for sure that I'm childless. We're pretty sure. You just met me. Listen, the melts. So it's not littering. And I don't want to bring. I don't want to step inside someone's house when I'm chock full of. I want to empty it out. I don't want to. Where were you? Home and here. Nope. Four taco stands. Four? Yes. Why not just get four tacos from one taste test? No, I just thought I only need one. I got. I'm watching what I eat. But then it was so good. I got to the next taco stand. I'm like, okay, just one more. Okay, so you're a glutton. I would not. That's. That. I do not subscribe to that deadly S4 4 tac for you at that point. Four tacos. So you're for Taco Jim? I mean, you could say that I'm for Taco Jim. I guess that would be a. A nickname that would fit. What did you do with all the. Because you. Why did you introduce yourself that way? Because it's not a name that I had before six seconds ago. It seems pretty obvious I don't like litter except when I'm going inside someone's house. And my pockets have some papers of my personal records of memories. This is what you get off on, man. Yeah, I think you get off going to people's houses, littering around their yards and taking a big outside the door. I think that's your whole thing. What makes you think I'm Aroused right now. Would you treat Marc Maron this way on wtf? Never. What? I mean. Or. Here. We're here. You did treat me this way. No, just because. Well, out of respect. I took a shit outside of your door out of respect. I'm not. I don't like to kink shame. And I never kink shame. You don't like. Is this related? You're disgusting. Yeah. Your kink is disgusting. And you should not ashamed of it. I feel like your kink is kink shaming people. Yeah, it is. And you should be ashamed of that. I am. Listen, I feel ashamed you're not kink shaming me because it's not a kink of mine. It's not a kink of mine to take a. You say it is. That would do a lot for me. Maybe someday. All right, look, Jim, you suck. You're not going to be in the second book. All right? Come on. Somebody's got to be. You're not coming back. You're not going to be in the second book. There's nothing going on with you. And the stuff you were saying about the Holocaust earlier, you're glad it was off Mic mic. Yeah. Although I might record it as a bonus episode because the mics were on. Yes. That's not fair. You told me they were off. Sorry. 4 Taco Jim's thoughts on the Holocaust CBB presented before I. Before we move on from my segment, because I have a feeling that I will never get a chance to speak on this podcast, I just want to remind everybody that I come in here and said I'm against littering. Well, this. But then we got to the real heart of the matter. Yeah. All right. And you're a piece of. You're a villain, bro. Quite a heel turn. You're revealed. Thank you for having me. Yours is a legacy of shame. Thank you for having me. You know what? Pleasure to have you on. Hey, let's get to our next and final guest. Of course, we have our old, old friends here on the show, as well as new people. And this is someone that we've never met before. Please welcome to the show for the first time, Bitsy Bottom. Hi, Scotchy. Hi. Hi, Bitsy. Hi. How you doing? Hey, it's great to. Great to meet you, Bitsy. I'm Josie. How you doing? Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm a. What? What? Sorry. Bitsy. Hi. Hi. I'm a little round weasel. You're a little round weasel? I'm a little round weasel. Yeah. I came from my cozy burrow I live under A wise old tree. Oh, yeah. In Whistle Wash Farm. In Whistle Wash Farm? Yeah. You know where it's in Redwood Forest. Oh, in the Redwood Forest? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you been there? No, I've never even heard of it, but it's so cool there. I've been to the Redwood forest. You have? Yeah. It's beautiful. I've been to the Gulf Stream water. Have you been to the wise old tree? It's so cute. I've never been to the wolf. Oh, we got squirrelies in there. We got owlies in there. Sounds very cozy. Yeah, we got badgies in there. We got our raccoonies in there. We got everybody. All kinds of critters in there. All in the tree, cuz. Yeah, we love. We love sweet stuff. We love cute stuff. Okay. Like honey. You like honey? Honey? Yeah, sure. Is there a. A. What do you. What is that? Maybe in a hive, right? Oh, hive. Yeah. It took you a while for hive. Hey, wait. We got. I said a lot of words today. No. Well, we got plum jump pie. What? Plum jump pie? Yeah. We got ladybugs with too many spots. That's cute. Too many? Yeah, so many spots. Do you have ladybugs with normal amount of spots? Sure. But no one, you know, nobody pays attention. And as we got. We also got all kinds of sweet stuff. We got jump ropes. We got, you know, what is it called? Sweet berries juice. All kinds of stuff. But I haven't come out in 13 years. This is my first time in the big city in 13 years. Welcome. Thank you so much for being on the show. Like a rum spring element. Yeah, it's sort of like that. Like all the critters. All the critters in my. Do we elect like a representative to go outside, Right? Oh, they. You were. This is an elected position. Yeah, it is. Okay. And we haven't been out at a tree. I haven't been out of the tree in 13 years. So we don't know what's going. Sammy, these questions. Oh, okay. I got a list of questions from all the. Everyone in the tree. I'm sure we can answer this what's going on questions since 2, 2012. I haven't sound like that. Sure. That's great. You do the math. What a position of honor you have. Oh, yeah, I was elected. People were saying you do the math. Oh, sorry. What? Yeah, people were saying you did math for years. Okay, great. That's like a thing. By the way, anyone wants some crumb? Dum dum dum dum, dum. I don't Even know what. There's a little. You don't know what Crumb. Dum dum. I don't know what crumb. Okay. Is it kind of like go, go dumplings? I don't know what those are. Yeah, it's kind of like. Like onakas. I don't know what those are. I'm okay. I don't get it. I don't. I don't. We don't know any. You bite it. It's like a do nut. No, we don't know any of your food. Do you know what, like, an umbrella looks like? I don't. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So it's nothing like that. Oh, okay. Well, I have some questions. Can I ask you some questions from someone? Can I join my family? Sure. Yeah. Maybe we can all answer some of the. Some of. Okay. This question is from my. Oh, my good friend, Uni Cooney. Uni Cooney. You have a girlfriend? I have a girlfriend. Yeah. How old are you? Me? 12. 12. I'm Weasel. I thought you haven't been out in 13 years. Oh, it's different for weasels. How are we giving you, like, the dog years? Oh, got it. Got it. Yeah. Every weasel here is nine years old. Oh, okay. So you're quite old. So you're very old. You're an elder. You do the math. Sure. 118 maybe. Uni Kuni asks, okay. This is what she asks. Did we finally elect a president who prioritizes being a sweetie pie? Not as special, let's see, in the last 12 years. I think it's okay to say no. Yeah. I think the answer is no. Who is the president? I'd rather not say. But it is Donald J. Trump, the movie star from Home Star. Yes. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, that's weird. It is weird. That's okay. That's all right. All right. This is from Mama Egg. Oh, Mama Egg. Yeah. She's the princess of cupcakes. Okay. She wants to know, is it true that AI stands for almond ice cream? Almond ice cream? Yeah. No, that would be aic. Yeah. Probably on the road right now with Bernie. Yep. AI stands for artificial intelligence. Okay. All right. Okay. Yeah. Which. Speaking of your first question, it's. Yeah. Both of your questions happen to be. The answers happen to be things that are disrupting and disintegrating society. All right. Okay. Well, this is from. This. That's okay. This is from Sour Cream Pie. Sour Cream Pie. He's my brother. He's your brother. Oh, okay. He wants to know, is it still a fact that his birthday is regarded as the best day ever. His birthday? What is his birthday? January 6th. Oh. Oh, wow. I don't. I mean, I think. I think Harrison. Harrison McGarth would probably. I was gonna say it depends on who you ask. Date redacted Is I think what we're calling. I'm not getting the vibe. Someone be clear. There's been a vibe shift. Yeah, I think. I think it is no longer the coolest day ever. Although, Russia, you've been awfully silent during this. Well, you know, I don't believe a sweetie pie should be running a country. Okay. All right. I believe that AI should stand for almond ice cream. So we do agree on that one. Oh, yes. By the way, I love you. Oh, I just. I love everybody. You're so cute. I love you, Ditzy bottom. When you deliver in our culture, we have. You got a deep voice, huh? Oh, very Josh. And you got a high one. Oh, hey, boo boo boo. Hey, baboo baby. All right. Hey, can I might and fly. Climb on your shoulder. Come on up. I mean, you have to scampering right up there. Hi. Here, why don't you eat one of these little. What you call it? A dumpling? Yeah, a Google dumpling. Can I ask you a question? Oh, yeah, this is something my mom wants to know. Who's your mom now? My mom, my mom's name is Erdie Birdie. Erdie Birdie. Oh, she's a piss nut. Yes, we are. That's what we call the queen of the tree. Okay. She wants to know why not Queen. Why not queen of the tree? It's just cuter. Oh, it is. I mean, I don't know. My mom wants to know. Your mom. How are all my girls making choices about their bodies doing? That was your mom's question. That's my mom's question. You know, a lot's changed in 12 years. You know. Why? What happened? Roe v. Wade was overturned. I don't know if you're aware of that. No, I'm aware, yeah. Oh, you are aware. No, yeah, no, I'm aware of Roe v. Wade. I didn't know. Yeah, that's no longer the law. You can't say you're aware when someone says Roe v. Wade was. I thought it was a two part question. When you deliver this news there, how do you imagine they're all going to react? It's pretty. All bad news. Maybe there's something good in there. Okay, sure. Ask us. I'm sure there's gotta be something good. There's gotta be Some questions. Yeah. How was LeBron James's funeral? Uh. Oh, I don't think he hasn't passed away. Oh, that's good. Yeah. What's he doing? He's still playing basketball. Get the hell out of here. Along with his son. Jesus Christ. Who asked that question? Yeah, whose question is that? That was the caterpillar, Cookie. Why did cookie assume that LeBron James was dead? Because she's so. She's so goddamn old. Do you guys not have. Not really. By. By human standards. We don't have that much tv. No. No tv. We have a couple movies. Oh, it's movies. Yeah. Crimson Tide. Oh, of course. We have Crimson Tide and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Oh, I have terrible news for you, vis a vis Crimson Tide. Oh, Gene Hackman has passed away. No, he was one of our big tre. He is. He was one of our biggest. Big three. Big three? Yeah, they were three actors in the tree. In the wise old tree. Who were the three? Gene Hackman. It was Woody Allen and Bill Cosby. Oh, Bill Cosby. You described as an actor, primarily. How would you describe Bill Cosby? Comedian, maybe. Okay. And what did he do on the Cosby Show? He acted. Okay, I would. I would. I would. I would step off. Okay. Okay. My apologies. It's like, what, you never saw the dead Devlin? Max Devlin. I got a question from Rudy Roo. He's the acorn guy. Rudy Roo. What is Rudy Roo? Rudy Rue. He wants to know. Let's see. He wants to know how quickly did we learn a good lesson from Columbine? Oh, wow. Wow. Well, it depends on what the lesson is. If the lesson learned was this works, we should do this concept constantly. We learned it immediately. So there's been more? Oh, yeah, yeah. Quite a few more. Almost. Almost every. Almost every day. Almost every day there is something that counts as a mass shooting. Oh, God. But you know what? You got to put in your 10,000 hours. Yeah, good point. I will say this. Malcolm Gladwell had it right with the. I don't know if I should keep going. I don't know either, honestly. I have a question from my dad. Oh, who's your dad? My dad is Winweebus. Win Webus. Okay. What is Winweebus? Win Webus wants to know how is the middle class doing? Seems to be shrinking. Oh. If not, if it's not completely evaporated, what is Wim Weebus's stake in this? Why do these animals live in celebrate you. Oh, no. Yeah, your mic. I have another second part to my daddy's okay, what does whim. What's the second part of this? Is it true that everyone's got a house and that everyone's got housing available? It was never true. That's been bad for a while. Yeah. You know what? I want to say something about your people or your animals. Yeah. You're so happy because you live with your damn heads in the tree while we're out here in the real world. Okay, Rob, sorry. Now, I mean, of course it's easy. Everybody goes, oh, everyone's so happy in Finland. It's cause they just sit in cold ass Finland all the time. And frankly, it's not a very inclusive country. All right. And it sounds like I couldn't live with your people if I had to come in with bad news. Can we all agree on that? Yes. Why? What do you mean? Why couldn't you live with us? Well, because I'd have to tell you the truth sometime. And then what? You'd get all sad and it would make me think about how my life is sad and I never think about it again. What's going on in your life? He's just watching poker all day. Honestly, he'll have a ton of questions about. Do you have Sling TV in the tree? If not, he's not going to be happy. Sling tv? Yeah, we got Sling tv. Why do you only have two movies? Well, you define. What do you think Sling TV is? Oh, I guess it's a service that you hook up to your tv. No, no. What is Sling tv? Slingshot titty varnish. So you guys slingshot titty varnish all day? That's right. But we knew the hardest part of getting titty varnish on is the close quarters you have to do it in. So how's the. How's the weather doing? Is it still. This is what. Let's see. This is what sweet goose goat wants to know. Okay, let me. Is the weather still extremely consistent? No, there's a lot. I mean, there have been just in the past few months there. There have been fires here in California? Yeah. Did you see any of those or. No. No, no. Yeah. What's going on? The weather. We lost a lot of trees. Why? Because of spontaneous fires breaking out due to extreme heat and climate change. Climate change? Yeah. Clima. That's your takeaway. Clima. Clima. Clima. Climate change. Climate change. This one's a good one. This is from Grandpa Funrich. He's the oldest guy in the. In the wise old tree. How old? 9909. 95. Wow. He wants to know, did Miramax ever get a Facebook page? Did the studio Miramax ever get a Facebook page? Unfortunately, there is a part of that question that is a bit of a bummer. Yeah. But, I mean, don't tell me Facebook went under. No, but it's not nearly as ubiquitous as it once was. Oh, no, no. Merrimax does have a Facebook page. I'm happy to. I'm happy to tell you because those guys make great movies. Oh. But it's no longer those guys. Miramax is no longer. In fact, I. You can bring this message back. Not only is Miramax no longer the Weinstein brothers, the Weinstein Company is no longer the Weinstein. And that's because various hijinks, if you can call them that, you would come back and I'd say, Harvey Weinstein did some hijinks is what you want me to say. Sure. I mean, mainly because I don't want to get Scott a said, Harvey Weinstein did hijinks is what you want me. Okay. Is this, like, truly the only way you can get this information? Buy one newspaper. Every single person in your tree is asking pinpoint specific questions. Almost as if this is like a comedy. Very important things. But not. Not exactly. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. I just can't stop thinking about this. LeBron James plays on a team with his son, and instead of it being celebrated, everyone mocks him and how bad his son is at basketball on a public level. Constantly. That I kind of like, oh, okay, that's son bad. I mean, he's not good enough to be in his position, but he's no LeBron James. Well, his name is the same, but he is LeBron James. LeBron James. But he is LeBron James. His name is LeBron James. Stumpy Stumpish wants to know where. Is it true that Hayao Miyazaki is very happy with the state of the world? These are so specific. Why? I don't know what you mean. We love Totoro. You love Totoro? Yes. Is that one of your two movies? Well, Crimson Tide and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Bang Bang. So you just. Yeah, saw the last time I came out. By the way, I dug a hole in your yard something awful. Oh, okay. I'm so sorry, Scassy. It's okay. You're so cute. You're so cute. I saw to her. Oh, we like it because it has something to do with Critters two. And then you looked up the fact. Did you see critters 2? I love critters 2. I love critters 2. Critters 2 is so good. Critters 1. Yabba dabba, double yabba daba. Double daba, double yabba dabble. Okay, finish two. Really delivered on the promise of Critters one. Yes. Right. Now I have a question for myself. Okay, sure. Does Grogu ever get his own movie? He actually, I do believe next year it'll come out so you, you know, but it's actually, he's going to have to share. He shares it with the Mandalorian. Oh, that's too bad. No one likes the Mandalorian part today. But, but everybody seems to have gotten on board with Grogu instead of Baby Yoda. Yeah. Which is nice. Oh, they like, they like the name Grogu. Yeah. For I think I remember the first, first six months that we had to say Grogu. No one liked it. Stands up and says, that sounds like cheese. Yeah. Nobody, nobody does anymore. You did take a little peek out of the tree to talk talk about Grogu. Yeah. On the way here, buddy. Oh, you watch. Wait, you binge watch the Mandalorian on the way here? On the way here. Yeah. How did you, how did you get here? I've heard about Scotty and she. Yeah. Bitsy Bot. Oh, okay. Well, I, I think we have time for one good one question. Okay. How did you guys manage to keep the Nazis dormant? Well, how did we manage to keep the Nazis doormen? How did you keep. How did you make the Nazis open and close the doors for you? That's what we should do with it. Make the Nazi Nazis have awkward conversations when you come inside the building with your guma. How much do you tip the Nazis at the end of the year? How much? Especially if they've been taking in packages for your gumar. Yes. How many times you ask the Nazis not to look at your wife's rear end? I truly stop chewing so hard in the hallway. I can't tabulate numbers that high, so I'm sorry. Sorry. Well, Bitsy bottom, thank you so much for being here. I love you. I, I love you too. I love you. You're so cute. Would you mind if I lived with in your, in your woolly pubes for a month? Oh, no, I already have someone in my adu here. Oh, come on. I, oh, come on. You're so warm in there. I bet. I, I, I'm sure it is, but I, I. Come on, be a sport. Yeah, be a sport. Come on. All right, hop on in here. Oh, God. Oh, my God, I love it down here. I Love it. I'm glad. I'm glad we attached a lav mic. Yeah, I always love my pubes. Just in case something happens, if there's any. If there's any litter in there, throw it out. Jim Reese. What a bummer. Well, look, guys, we are, if you can believe it, running out of time on this episode. We only have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs. Oh, very nice. That was Plugs by Arsenio Corridor. That made me feel like I was in a bad dream. Yeah, that felt cursed in some way. Yeah, exactly. All right, guys, what do we plug in here? Jason, do you have anything to plug? Obviously. Tap Master, season 19, I believe, is that. Absolutely. You can watch it on YouTube right now. Or wait. Or this Friday or this Friday. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So, yes, at the end of this week, every episode available on YouTube, Taskmaster UK. Also, the final season of Big Mouth coming out later this month, so check it out on Netflix. All right. Bing Lu Joe, what do you want to plug? Well, I want to plug a show called Varietopia that's on tour right now. Yeah, this is a good show. It's really good. It's like a night in the theater. It's like a night at the theater. But not pretentious. No, but people should wear tuxedos and tails. And I think people sit everywhere. Is it black tie? It is not. But it's optional. Yeah, black optional. Every. Black tie optional. I think everywhere in the world is black tie optional. Not the pool. Will you just start putting on that it's black tie optional and see what happens? There's got to be someone who shows up. Absolutely. There's gotta be somebody who shows up. So how do people get information about this show? Go to PaulFtompkins.com Variety. Wow. Okay. And all the dates will be up there. And this is a great show. All of them. How many cities? 20. 20 cities. That's a lot of cities. There's too many. And Russ Suaro, what do you want to plug here? Why don't you go to biggrandewebsite.com to get Big Grande's newest county fair series. 10 mono scenes, all at a county fair. And listen to the man do improv and conversation podcast and go to CBB World. I've noticed these three sites on your Internet, Bill just recurring all the time. Well, the issue is I can't figure out my dang login for each of them. Oh, okay. Then it's like, well, do you want to use passkey on your phone to do the login? And I'm like, how do I use passkey? How do I bring the keyboard back just to log back? Yeah, it doesn't really respond to questions like that. It's just like, do you want to do it or not? Yes, but I, I have a lot of questions. You're exhausted on my phone. Don't get me started. I mean, I'm going through a divorce. You're welcome. I'm already tired there. But yes, those websites are incredible. All right, and Jim Reese, community activist, what do you want to plug here? I want to plug a podcast that I like called Screw it. We're just going to talk about comics. These two pretty low energy middle aged guys named Will and Kevin Hines are going over comics right now. They're going over some issues of the Incredible Hulk that were written by Peter David and Draped by Todd McFarlane. Draw, draw, draw. And yeah, so check that out. And also, Scott, I gotta take a big shit somewhere. Do you know you just took one right outside the door? I know, and I knew that I'd have another one coming. Oh, disgusting. Bitsy bottom. What do you want to plug? I want to plug a new movie that I just saw called Austin Powers and it's got this fabulous. This line in it. It's called who does number two Work for that is that. I mean, that movie has been out for 30 years at this point. You've just seen it and you want to champion that line. I want that. So funny. Because what's going on in the movie is there's a number two. He's like. And also they're in the bathroom at the same time. So it works on like, don't say multiple levels, just two levels. Yeah, it's really good. It's really good. All right, great work, Scott. Thank you for pointing the microphone at your pube so he can. Oh, no, no, I want to plug. Look, we mentioned CBB World. Head on over there. You get great shows like CBB Presents and Scott hasn't seen. Listen, just because some folks aren't here anymore, I'll shout out the hey Randy show. Hey, Randy. Yeah, there was a great Hinds. I'm proud to meet you. Very funny Show. Show. I don't care for the host, but the other people on it are fantastic. He seems great. He is garbage. College town is great. Great poet, a great book writer. Juju Rowling. She's a good. No, no, no. About a bowl cut magician. That was your takeaway from that bowl cup magician. Written by juju Juju rally. She's classic studs. All right, let's think. She says is gold. Yeah. Let's close up the old plug bag. Open the block bag with me, dude. Open the bl b with me, dude. Just please don't close it and be rude. Please don't close it and be rude. Oh, I'm sorry. This is a dub version? Believe it is. Get the on. Hey, Prince Jammy, get out of here. O. Okay, that was Dub Me dude by Ross Brackett. If you have a plug theme, head over to cbb world.com plugs and you can be famous for a week. And Ross Brackett, you're famous. And guys, I want to thank. Thank you so much. What a way to celebrate the 16th anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Best friends and Jim Reese are here. And bitsy potty in 13 years, I guess. Well, you don't have to go just yet. Are you busy? Bob, now that you're out, why don't you stay out for a while? Really? Yeah. See the world. It's gotten great. Yeah, things have changed in the last 13 years. Look what's going on. God, is bush garden still hot? Hot place to go. Like the weather there is hot. Yeah, People still putting ziti on pizza. That a huge major thing. I wish you were here for caster pasta earlier. Oh, wow. Yeah. All right, guys, thanks so much. We'll see you over the next 16 years. We'll see you next time. Thanks. By do you know how long the average professional spends making slide decks every week? Five hours. That's almost an entire workday resizing text boxes and moving around bullet points. Well, Gamma is here to rescue you from presentation purgatory. Just drop in your notes and Gamma magically turns them into polished presentations. Website, social posts. Yes, you name it. No design or coding skills required. Start for free at Gamma app and get a month of Gamma pro for free with promo code podcast. Hi, we're all modern. We're here to help you refresh your space for spring. With the best of modern furniture and decor all in one place. Our team of modern obsessed experts hand vets each design for quality. Plus we offer fast and free shipping. That's modern made for real life. Shop now@allmodern.com Adam Pally here, and I'm John Gabris. We're a couple actors and best friends who you may know as the hosts of the TV show 101 Places to Party before you die. Now we're bringing you a comedic look at health and wellness with our new show, Staying Alive. We'll have guests like our friend, actor Jerry O'Connell, ketamine therapist Dr. Stephen Radowitz, Paul Shear, Ego Wodo, Jillian Bell, Dr. Doolittle. Staying alive with John Gabrist and Adam Pali is out right now. Get them a week early and ad free with SiriusXM podcasts plus on Apple Podcasts.