The Monk Chunk (Mike Hanford, Ele Woods, Fran Gillespie)

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: "The Monk Chunk"

Episode Date: August 18, 2025
Host: Scott Aukerman
Guests (as characters):

• Mike Hanford as "Adjacent Manzoukas," celebrity chef and neighbor
• Ele Woods as "Signy Gadetto," aspiring thief and snack heiress
• Fran Gillespie as "Tinky Clydesdale," possible future First Lady of Texas

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Overview

This episode is a freewheeling, character-driven romp typical of Comedy Bang Bang, featuring an overlapping cast of eccentric guests. Scott Aukerman hosts as always, with the show veering through absurd interviews, weird local politics, snack food drama, bodily function oversharing, and Hollywood-adjacent shenanigans. The main themes: mockery of fame and podcast wealth, Southern quirks, familial oddities, and a surprising amount of "Monk" TV series trivia.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Opening Catchphrase & Show Setup

[01:46]

• Scott welcomes listeners and notes their open-door policy: “Anything can happen.”
• Early bit: A playful, offbeat musical riff referencing “Bill Haley and the Fuck Comets,” and a mistaken identity bit with a supposed John Williams (actually Mike Hanford/Adjacent Manzoukas).
• Tone is unrestrained and self-referential, setting up the unpredictable guest parade.

2. "Adjacent Manzoukas": Celebrity Chef, Neighbor, YouTuber

[04:15 – 30:00]

• Character: Adjacent Manzoukas, neighbor of Jason Mantzoukas, hunting chef, star of "Grilling with the Zooks" (YouTube).
• Claims not to be defined by being Jason’s neighbor:

  “That is not my thing. That's not my thing. There's more to you than that. … I chase the animals around my backyard. When I catch them, I kill them and put them on the grill.” (05:17)

• Describes his bizarre grilling practices, using “bowling-ball-sized grains” of salt ([06:50]), and a backyard bathroom/communal trough arrangement that’s become a fan pilgrimage site ([07:32]).
• Wild tangent: Fans of "The League" try to collect and sell trough contents on eBay; Adjacent tries to warn them the waste is "mixed," then buys his own excrement to leave negative reviews ([08:06]).
• Pitching a "Spider Man" movie starring a Grauman's Chinese Theater impersonator, with a subplot involving Air Bud and a confused plot about studio meetings and dressing as characters ([12:26]).
• Discourses on fandom, nostalgia (“I've listened to the whole thing. I've listened autoplay 10 years, 11, 16.” [14:14]), and the nature of time (highly meta, very CBB).
• Reveals he recently got married to solo free climber “Becky Climb,” who changed her name for climbing cred ([22:09]). She climbs sideways around mountains, fearing heights. Adjacent is overwhelmed by her many kids and production team woes.

Memorable Quote:

“Sometimes I just come straight out and ask. And sometimes I got to be a little sneakier.” – Scott (23:25), on prying into guest intimacy.

3. Surprise Drop-Ins: John Lennon & Industry Satire

[15:00]

• Impromptu visit from ghostly John Lennon, fixated on apologizing for Beatles “lame songs”:

  “I've been taking talking tours and sort of apologizing for some of the Beatles lamer songs. … That one. Hey Jude.” (17:05)

• Banter about TV theme songs, Beatles history (“Is that how the Beatles got together? You were the music stand guy.” [18:29]), and Lennon’s afterlife friendship with Scott.
• Playful riffing on industry money and fame, leading into ad spoof interruptions.

4. Signy Gadetto: Broke Snack Heiress/Failed Robber

[35:31 – 56:00]

• Character: Signy Gadetto, failed podcaster-robber, Gardetto snack heiress gone broke, carries a taser.
• Enters holding up the studio:

  “You think I'm gonna introduce myself as I commit a robbery, a crime, you got another thing coming. Mr. Scott Aukerman, I am here for your money.” (35:55)

• Wants Scott’s “podcast safe,” mistakenly convinced podcasting is a gold mine, drops lines about Mark Maron and the Smartless crew’s supposed wealth ([36:44], [40:10]).
• After much resistance, reveals her full name, background:

  “I am the heir to the Gardetto fortune… There was a time when everybody loved even Gardettos.” (41:22)

• Continues bits about snack infighting (Gardettos vs. Chex Mix) and poverty ("the Gardetto fortune went away due to bad investments").
• Engages in mutual taser play with Manzoukas that gets weirdly sexual (“Kind of makes my nipples a little hard.” [46:18]).
• Delivers meta-commentary on podcast ads, editing, and podcast celebrity culture.

5. Southern Satire & "First Lady" Politics: Introducing Tinky Clydesdale

[57:08 – End]

• Character: Tinky Clydesdale, peppy Southern belle, wife to serial careerist and Texas gubernatorial hopeful Hank Clydesdale, here to win votes.
• Hypersouthern affect, name drops: "My husband's running for the governor. Y'all know him, okay? He is a sheriff. He is a pastor. He is a doctor. And he is an independently wealthy man." (57:30)
• Vies with Signy over snack food hierarchy; derides Gardettos.
• Cheerfully volunteers dirty secrets to “beat the libs to it,” including:
  • Is in a churning “hunting wives” group (femmes in cute outfits who hunt and then “chomp box” in group liaisons; [61:02]).
  • Cut a murderous, pus-leaking twin (“Basket Case” style) off her own back as a child, now keeps him in a basket (Schminck/Shrink—“basically just looks like a brain with hands and feet” [62:57]).
  • Keeps her husband’s first wife’s skeleton literally in the closet ([65:07]).
• Discusses her complicated marriage—Hank is frequently away with “gathering guys,” comes home with soaked boxers and “parachute pants” ([82:06]).
• Revelations escalate absurdly (seasonally variable penis size, comically long clits, unconventional children, etc.)
• Tinky struggles to get votes for her spouse, becomes enmeshed in Signy and Adjacent’s drama.

6. TV & Pop Culture Deep Dives: "Monk" and More

• Several pop culture spirals:
  • Obscure "Monk" trivia, including Jennifer Lawrence’s cameo as a mascot ([67:44]), and the origins of the “Monk Chunk” (the show’s signature final monologue).
  • References to MTV Unplugged, OnlyFans, Bravo, Air Bud, and more.
  • Tangents about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, head gum, and celebrity crossovers.
• Running meta-joke: Nobody in the studio has heard of Gardetto’s.

7. Lightning Round:

[86:36 – 97:39]

• Rapid-fire “plug bag” segment: Each character and their real-life actor plugs projects, podcasts, and live events.
  • Adjacent (Mike Hanford) hypes The Sloppy Boys' fall tour, mentions Mike’s own stand-up.
  • Signy (Ellie Woods) plugs her own/the performer’s Instagram and theater work as Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing.
  • Tinky (Fran Gillespie) campaigns for Hank and plugs Neil Campbell’s series “Digman” and the “Las Culturistas” Culture Awards.
  • Multiple riffs about what’s written down, memory issues, and naming confusion.
• Schminck the twin (off-mic) growls out a goodbye.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Adjacent on grilling:

  “I get grains [of salt] by the... I get bowling ball size grains. And then I just have to chip them away, you know?” (06:50)

• Scott on bodily function eBay wars:

  “So you've been buying...your own shit back again.” (08:54)

• Adjacent pitches his offbeat Spider-Man:

  “We get a guy from down there, a person who has no real experience acting, but we throw him in a movie and see what happens.” (13:23)

• John Lennon apologizing for Beatles tracks:

  “I've been going around...apologizing for some of the Beatles’ lamer songs. That one. Hey Jude.” (17:05)

• Tinky matter-of-factly confesses:

  “I was born with a little twin on my back. I cut him off. I carry him around, and he murders people.” (61:00)

• Signy on her legacy:

  "I am the heir to the Gardetto fortune. ... There was a time when everybody loved even Gardettos." (41:22)

• Talking about intimacy:

  "Now, men are so preoccupied with, oh, size, size, size. You never even know that women clits are actually the longest part of a woman's body." – Tinky (72:18)
  "Well, that's the thing. I've never wanted to like pull on it with my tongue because I'm just worried it'll come out and it'll be like a big worm." – Scott (72:01)

• Plug Bag chaos:

  "That is an Oakland booty that's encroaching into San Francisco, my friend." – Scott (91:03)

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Episode Structure and Tone

• Structure: The conversation flows organically, often looping back and referring to previous bits, with segues powered by word-association riffing and abrupt tangents. Segments bleed into each other, creating a swirling ensemble comedy effect.
• Tone: Irreverent, surreal, decidedly anti-glamour, dense with industry and podcast in-jokes, as well as adolescent body humor. Guest characters are intentionally over-the-top, switching between folk idioms, Hollywood/industry lingo, and absurd pathos.
• Atmosphere: There’s a running awareness that this is a long-running, highly self-referential show. The characters acknowledge editing, ad reads, and podcasting clichés.

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For New Listeners

• Expect breakneck banter, overlapping bits, and inside references, but also a welcoming, anything-goes energy.
• You don’t need preexisting knowledge of Comedy Bang Bang or its characters to enjoy the absurdity, but fans will recognize familiar rhythms.
• If you enjoy mock interviews, improv madness, and characters that spiral quickly into the surreal (with lots of pop culture nods), this is a quintessential episode.

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Timestamps for Essential Segments

• 01:46 – Show proper begins (post-ads & catchphrases)
• 04:15 – 30:00 – Adjacent Manzoukas interview: grilling, eBay waste wars, backyard troughs, DIY Spider-Man
• 35:31 – 56:00 – Signy Gadetto robbery, snacking upper-class woes, money in podcasting
• 57:08 – 86:36 – Tinky Clydesdale arrives: Texas politics, hunting wives, family confessions, Monk, OnlyFans
• 86:36 – End – Plugs, ongoing memory confusion, long goodbyes

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Final Thoughts

A maximalist, character-driven Comedy Bang Bang episode packed with callbacks, absurd Southern and industry satire, snack food rivalry, confessions both grotesque and heartfelt, and the kind of improv chaos the podcast is famous for. Standout moments include Tinky’s wild confessions about her life and marriage, Adjacent’s YouTube chef ethos, Signy’s hapless banditry, repeated “Monk” references, and an ending that feels both chaotic and oddly warm.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Tinky Clydesdale]

Like developing strategic insights that help drive M and a success or embedding AI solutions into your business to sustain competitive advantage.

[Scott Aukerman]

KPMG drives brighter insights, bolder solutions, better outcomes. KPMG make the difference. 1, 2, 3 o', clock, 4 o' clock, rock 5, 6, 7 o', clock, 8 o'.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Clock.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh damn. I'm totally not going to make that meeting. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Bill Haley and the Fuck Comets. Parentheses clean version for that catchphrase submission. Submitted on January 8, 2023. Thank you so much for that. Just getting around to it. Hope you're still alive, Bill Haley in the Fuck Comets. And hope you are receiving the thrill to hear your catchphrase submission on the air here. Unfortunately, it's not going to stick, but. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman, the host of Comedy Bang Bang. I have been the host ever since episode I'm trying to think Episode one. Actually, I've been the host of this show. I don't exactly know what that song is, but it's tickling a little itch in my brain.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's the song I wrote for that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That movie.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Scott. Me, John Williams.

[Scott Aukerman]

John Williams and you for the movie Phantom Menace. Phantom Menace.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

George Lucas came to me and he said, john. And I said, what? And he said, would you please write me another one of those great songs? Space songs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Space songs is the genre. It's so nice to meet you, John Williams. Have you been hanging around because of the. The Hollywood bowl or. You seem to be there every year even though you're like, I'm always there.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I love, I do love to see the. I saw the King Gizzard and the Lizard wizard show.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess I meant the shows that you participating in.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, I love those shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you love those shows? Not so much the ones that you don't participate in. But you still go?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Still go. I've got season tickets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Wonderful.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Would you mind if I get out of here? My car is running.

[Scott Aukerman]

I actually would prefer you get the.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Out of here, my boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

As we said growing up in Newton, the city.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Toodaloo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, Toodaloo. Okay. Wow. He propelled himself forward through his farts. Amazing. So, I mean, this is what happens on Comedy Bang Ban. It's an open door policy. Anything can happen. Although we do know a couple of things are gonna happen here today. Coming up a little later on the show, we have the possible future first lady of a state. That's very exciting. So we'll be getting into politics, I would guess, you know, what's going on with perhaps redistricting and gerrymandering. All sorts of stuff going on in. In the world of local politics these days. And why don't we get to our first guest, though? He's been on the show many times before. He is a celebrity chef.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Scott, how you doing?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I haven't said your name yet. So that's. Your name is Celebrity Chef.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's close. Very close.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not really.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Go ahead now. I'll let you do your thing. You gotta do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'm gonna do it. Well, please welcome back to the show with Jason Manzoukas.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Can I talk now?

[Scott Aukerman]

You certainly.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

God, Scott, it's great to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's wonderful to see you adjacent.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Manzukis, I wanted to ask you this. I was thinking about this in the car right here. How the hell have you been?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, thank you so much for thinking.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Of that because no one ever asked you that.

[Scott Aukerman]

No one does ask me that. I've been fair to medium. Thank you so much.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Not. Not unlike the grills I've been cooking out back, back in my backyard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Those are fair to medium as well. Or the temperatures on the steaks that you're.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

The temperature is fair to me. I got something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fair is the temperature.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I got this whole new system on grill. A little plug. I watch grilling with the Zooks on YouTube.

[Scott Aukerman]

Grilling with the Zooks is your YouTube show.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You. By the way, for people who have never heard you before, your name is Adjacent Manzukas. You live next door to our good friend Jason Manzuki.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And that is not my thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that is no that is not your thing.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's not my thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's more to you than that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

There's more than. I've got a show where I grill, remember? I chase the animals around my backyard. When I catch them, I kill them and put them on the grill. And at the end of the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

That part of it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's a big part of it. And at the end of the show, I put a. Some type of liquor in a bottle or can.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bottle or can on the actual grill blows up.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's the end of the show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it not only does it bl. But then gets onto the camera lens and then forms into the credits through.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Through cgi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you've never said that before.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I thought that's the first thing I told you about.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

When I first met first, I was on the show, you know, in the green room.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You said, hey, how's it, you know, I understand you have a show. Do you have graphics at the end? I said, of course I have graphics.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's my first question.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And any cgi, they're cgi.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I did not know that. Which stands for computer generated imagery. Which. Our good friend John Williams. Right. In that episode one movie. I don't know if you were here, but John Williams.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I was, but I kept quiet right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Up until the moment I said celebrity chef. Mere moments before I knew your name.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I knew I had to talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, welcome back, Jason Mantukas. You live next door to Jason Manzukas. It's not your thing. Not my thing is you're a celebrity chef and you hunt the animals in your backyard.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You kill them. Hunt hunts. A generous word for. I mean, we used it. I. I know, but look, here's the thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Be generous with yourself.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Take what I say with a grain of salt. A lot like the steaks I prepare on my grill.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Was that just one grain? Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's a big one, though. I get grains by the. I get bowling ball size grains.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Really?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And then I just have to chip them away, you know? Yeah, you get. You put the holes in them like a bowling ball and you hold it over the meat and you hit it with a hammer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe bowl a few frames with them. Just let them if you got them.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

If you got the alley. Sure. The lanes. Yeah, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now. Yeah. So we'll. I'll have.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is there an alley, by the way, in between you and Jason's house? I've always wondered.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

There is a little alley. It's a little. Well, you know what? You know, where it is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where is it?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We have these old houses. These are pre war houses, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Which war?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Up in Birmingham. The Afghanistan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now, these houses, like I said, they're old. Pre Afghan war.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Our bathrooms empty out into this trough on the side of our house. Disgusting.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's two separate troughs or. Because you have two separate houses, one.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I know the houses are separate, but the zoning people. I can get into this if we really want.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, yeah. I mean, I'd love to.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, you do want to talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. Yes, please.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's boring and I will get into it. But our. Yes, our toilets. All the toilets in our house empty out in this one trough.

[Scott Aukerman]

A singular trough. A shared communal trough.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yep. And if anyone, there's Lately, there's been some fans of the league down there scooping up this stuff and selling it on ebay.

[Scott Aukerman]

But they might be scooping up your.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's what I'm saying. Well, that's what I'm out there explaining to them. These are coming from both houses. This is, you know, human waste from two different people, one of which is on the show you love. And I don't blame him. It's a great show. Seen. I've seen every episode. I listen to commentary. Okay, now, now, now. I say to these people, if you want to come over and just collect from me right before it even gets in the toilet. That's one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's eliminate the middleman.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We can do that. But then they. They make it clear, no, we don't want any of your waste.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So I wonder how they're differentiating between the.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

They're not. And that's the thing. I wrote reviews on their ebay page saying, this is not. This is mixed. I mean, half. It's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, to write reviews on an ebay thing, you need to have actually purchased an item from them.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You are smarter than you look, Scott. Yes, you do have to buy them, and that's how. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you've been buying. You've been keeping them in business by buying your own shit back again.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Keeping in business is very generous. I bought one just so I could leave the comment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. You said comments. I.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Why is it always this way with you? It's pick.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry, but it sounds like what they're doing with your. The feces that come out of your houses.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, they're me with it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

In a way, metaphorically.

[Scott Aukerman]

But I'm picking. Certainly. Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Shirtless, Certainly. Shirtless.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shirtless, certainly. They're doing it shirtless.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I wouldn't be near that trough. Shirtless. That's what I tell all the people. I'd get a Hazmat suit and some boots at least.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure, yeah. Get those E.T. suits. You ever see E.T.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

The alien?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that one that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I've seen it.

[Scott Aukerman]

The extra Train.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What are you getting at? You want people to dress as ET and get down there?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't. Not necessarily. I'm talking about the governmental figures who come.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Guys. I thought those were the bad guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, you know, are people bad or are people good? That's debatable.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's an interesting question because you think about all the bad stuff that's going on, but the. In the world, people who are doing the best stuff, they think it's good.

[Scott Aukerman]

They probably think that. I mean, it at least benefits then, right?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, benefits are pockets.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I didn't realize we're not going to get political until a little later in the show.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, no, no. But I'm glad you had me here, Scott. What do you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, is this it?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What do you need from me? I don't.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I want to talk to you for.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm good.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a guest on the show. Do you have anything new coming out with the show these days?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's a great question. That's exactly why I'm here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, who.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You don't remember last time I was talking about my tour, my bike tours.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your bike tours?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm surprised you remember. The thing about the graphics, to be honest with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

That stuck with me somehow. Bike tours didn't.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It was kind of a tossed off thing of the last time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I take the bike, you know, I get out some backs, three bikes at a time, and I take them out and they're all hooked together. And it was causing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are they side by side or are they kind of. I mean, they're in a line, a.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Triangle, like a wide triangle.

[Scott Aukerman]

Triangle. How do they move if some of the. If they're in a triangle and they're. The wheels are in different directions.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, they're facing the same way. We had that part. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

They're off. But they're welded together. I don't know if you know much about welding, but they're welded together.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I know the word is.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's all. That's what you like me. Okay, so that. Those were just crashing all the time. We were getting a lot of lawsuits, a lot of money, and my time, which is, you know, I'm time poor. I. My time spent in these legal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, you have a thriving Business.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I have multiple thriving businesses. And books and the TV show and my. Now my new movie that I'm trying to get going. That's what I'm talking about.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, what's the new movie?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's a. Well, it's. You're. I'm going to say it's Spider Man. You go, that exists. But it's not exactly Spider Man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, in what way does it differentiate from Spider Man? A trademarked property.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now what do you know about Spider Man? What's. What would you say the Spider man thing is?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess his thing is that he's better when he's not married. Oh, wait, no, that's not it. Please, Spider man fans don't come at me again.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Not at all. Would that mean. Okay, well, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got to be reading my. My issues.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. In order to understand that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Sure, sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

But no, his thing is he's Peter parker. He's a 15 year old boy who gets bitten by a spider who's radioactive. He then gets the power of spiders, I guess. And then his uncle gets shot and he learns like, oh, I shouldn't be an. I should.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's my. That's what I'm. That's what I have in mind. And we go off from there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

So it's not just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so it starts there.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Exactly, it starts right there. Basically that stuff all happens to my Peter Parker. We call him Peter Parker. A mine too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, great.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

But it's all about. I got this idea. I was down at Hollywood Boulevard where they have Shrek walking around and.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Batman.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Captain Grauman's Chinese Theater.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Bingo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And I saw Spider Man. I said, now what if this guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hollywood Facts.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What if he was. What if he was on screen, the Spider man, dad, despite.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mean the Spider man guy who walks around in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Taking pictures with fans and signing autographs.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What if he was on screen instead.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Of walking around outside as Spider Man? But the whole story is about his. As I'm saying it now, Scott, it's not. It's just not working for. I mean, I'm gonna have to repeat, I gotta say. But the idea is we get a guy from down there, a you know, a person who has no real experience acting, but we throw him in a movie and see what happens.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I mean that's. That part of it. Sounds interesting.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That is interesting. But you get them in there with the Spider man stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Everybody likes Spider man from the smallest baby to the oldest grump.

[Scott Aukerman]

So like one of the grumpy old men, like Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That was another idea I had getting those two guys reanimated and reanimated.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so you know they're dead.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Damn. Do I.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you want to reanimate them using some sort of like futuristic technology. I. I say futuristic because I don't know that it exists at this point.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Getting people back. Yeah, well, I believe John Lennon did it once.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a fan of the show. Okay, so you're a fan of the. The comedy bank.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I love the show. I listen. I usually listen to my episodes and then I just let it play. So I've listened to the whole thing. I've listened autoplay 10 years, 11, 16.

[Scott Aukerman]

But who's counting? Not you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Not me. Because, boy, I remember listening to that 10 year one. And that feels like yesterday. That is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Does it?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Really scary stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

It actually feels 20 years ago to me.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, that's interesting, isn't it? Isn't it weird the way time isn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's queer. You with your hands in the air.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I want to know what. What sort. What show is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I know what show or what song? Because two very different answers.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Give me both.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, the song is Send in the Clowns. The show. A little night music by a gentleman by the name of Steven Sondheim.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

The premiere.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's that?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Hello, Scott. I heard you. I heard you talking about English people. I'm so sorry. I was out here trying to.

[Scott Aukerman]

John Lennon. We just mentioned you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I was. I know. I heard. I heard my friend John Williams was around here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you know John Williams?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, I heard his car making. Choking and making some problems. So I said I went down there to help him. And then I was like, all right. Whose voice is that? Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

So wonderful to see you, John Lennon. You haven't been on the show in a minute.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, I think I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

For about a year, I think you saw us on the road.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What a year it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

What a year it's gone.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We had. We've had some changes, haven't you? Wouldn't you say?

[Scott Aukerman]

Ch. Ch. Ch. Changes. To quote your good friend David Bowie.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I was good friends with him. I haven't talked to. Well, he passed away. I'm trying to get him back. Yeah, you should.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, for those of you who don't know, John Lennon, you dated in 1980. December of 1980.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right after a football. The football game was on, I believe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Had preempted Little House on the Prairie. And I was very upset Bring that back.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Jeez.

[Scott Aukerman]

It is coming back next year.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Wonderful. Another wonderful year.

[Scott Aukerman]

So in any case, you died five years later. You decided you wanted to come back to life then you've been alive. You've been on the show many times.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Been on the show many times. You and I have formed a relationship close to a friendship, I think. As close as you can in this.

[Scott Aukerman]

As adjacent as adjacent Manzoukas is to Jason Manzoukas.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'll be in the bathroom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, See you later.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I just wanted to make sure the audience knows where he is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay, great. So you prodded him to say that?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yes, I poked him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. So in any case, John, what's been going on with me, I guess, or anyone?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's been the summertime. I'm not going to tell you other people's stories. Okay, well then let's stick to you the summertime. I. You know, I'm trying it again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Summertime, Summertime. Some. Some summertime.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you ever heard that song, John?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yes, I have to write it.

[Scott Aukerman]

A lot of Beatles songs have that whole thing about it. Like Summertime, Summertime.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We went through this whole phase.

[Scott Aukerman]

Summertime. Like beat a song kind of sounds like that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Like.

[Scott Aukerman]

When I'm 64. Summertime, summertime.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

When I'm summer. Yeah. You know, we like to be into a yellow submarine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Summertime. Some, some. You all live in a summer summertime, right? Every Beatles song just kind of is like that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And I do want to apologize. I've been going around, I've been taking talking tours and sort of apologizing for some of the Beatles lamer songs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, have you really? Okay, so which ones are we talking? Octopus's Garden.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That one. Hey Jude.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything from Nah Nah nah nah nah nah nah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's like guys, you've got the write something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, like. Or what lyrics could it possibly be like? Jude, you are sitting there sad, right? I want to make you happy.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's some, some summertime, Summertime.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you think of them Beach Boys? You know what I mean? Like they made. They made a whole career writing songs about their one hobby, surfing, right? It's like I stamp collect. I'm not sitting there like writing 20 million songs.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'd like to hear some of those. But you're right, we, we. You know, the, the. Our whole thing was we loved hands. We loved holding hands.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we. I want to hold your hand.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right? That was a hobby. But we were like, we can't do a career.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I mean how many songs would you. Could you possibly write? About holding hands.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Just the one.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I want to do it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I want to. Because once you do it, we were futurists.

[Scott Aukerman]

Once you do it, you kind of realize like, oh, boy, I don't know about this.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, boy, this is very good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Then you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, we had George Martin put filters and stuff on it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good. Oh, is that. Was that the extent of his work? Putting filters on stuff?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right. Eddie got all the music stands. He knew where to get those cheap.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, good. Oh, well, yeah. I mean, I don't know. You got to know a guy with music stands.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

He knew a guy who knew a guy who knew me. I was selling them to ourselves.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that how the Beatles got together? You were the music stand guy.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Stand guy.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you just kind of like sidled up to the band and I was.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Always thinking, I want to hold Joe. What? I want to hold Joe.

[Scott Aukerman]

The mind reels.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

The mind reels.

[Scott Aukerman]

Things that one could hold.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And then Ringo, who's now become my best friend, ended up sort of leading the band. He came by and says, well, she holds my hand. Boy, that Ringo Witness, he still got it. Yeah, Sometimes he's getting a little slower, isn't he?

[Scott Aukerman]

Is he really?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

In one of his. His tours recently.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yes. How was it?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, I haven't seen one.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm getting a little old, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you were to join one of those tours, I would definitely go.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

He's asked me and I've said, you know, thanks so much. I'll go to watch, but I can't. Every night on stage?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Why? You just.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You don't wear and tear on your fingers playing guitar because in the five.

[Scott Aukerman]

Years you were dead, you lost the calluses, right?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you can't make those cords.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Your skin's beautiful. And that's the thing. When a dead body's in a casket, the skin gets impeccable, but you can't dig them up. They think you're nuts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Yeah. How? John?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm gonna get out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Well, I wonder if Jason Mandukas is coming back out of the bath.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm back. Scott. I was just in the bathroom.

[Scott Aukerman]

John, before you go.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Did somebody need me?

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you get your guitar back from Ringo? Yes. The one with the. The skeleton Whammy bar.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yes. And I have finger. I have it in the car, but I got to go. Ok.

[Scott Aukerman]

Understand?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Play us a song. Next time.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Next time. I'm gonna bring it. I know I'm gonna bring it. It's gonna be in tune. It's gonna be great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. See you later, John.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Bye, John.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jason, I'm so sorry about that. I mean.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's fine. I got a bathroom break.

[Scott Aukerman]

How did your bathroom break. Don't.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Don't get into that. That's. See, that's where. You don't need to take this show. Scott. Ask you about people.

[Scott Aukerman]

I beg your pardon? That is a little personal. Speaking of personal. So you. Did we talk about your movie? Oh, yeah. Spider Man.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Spider Man. Yeah. That's. That's gonna get going. I'm here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you're here. Talking about another show or something. You were saying?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, let's go back to the Spider man thing. That's all I really care about. I mean, I have so many meetings. Actually, I want to ask you about this because I've had meetings with every studio head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. So.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Because they've seen the Zook show, grilling with Zooks. They said, oh, we won't get in business with the guy. When you go in to pitch a movie, are you dressed as the character?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, you. You definitely can do that because there's.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No law against it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's sort of Air Bud rules. I think if there's nothing in the rule book, then you just go ahead and do it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Air Bud would be interesting to have in this movie, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

With Spider Man?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Why not?

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not? I mean, spiders and dogs don't get along.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Is that true?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. You know, but have you think.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, you think.

[Scott Aukerman]

You ever seen a dog bark at a spider?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

So there you go.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

There you go. But I've seen dogs have sparked at me, too. Barked at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Now, have you ever barked at a spider?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I try not to. Yeah, but it's bad luck, you know, We've been bad luck. But is it really? I mean, because we've all done it.

[Scott Aukerman]

And we all do it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You wake up the next morning and feel everything. Head still there, hands on. I'm fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. So you're gonna dress up like who? Spider man or Spider Man.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

But now Air Bud might be good. Or maybe the coach of Air Bud. Just because it's a little more normal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because I. I saw that a couple years ago on my other show.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Maybe Paul Giamatti.

[Scott Aukerman]

Paul Giamatti was the coach and Air Bud.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What? I don't know.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's in singles.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's what I'm thinking of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I just. I got confused, because in Air Bud, there's one single dog.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Something single. Oh, right. It's not singles.

[Scott Aukerman]

Singles is the title. Now, Giamatti who's got one line in singles? Right.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's what I was thinking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah. Got it. Great to see you adjacent, Manzoukas.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's been wonderful to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you have no other news other than this?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I got. Oh, my God. Did I tell you I got married? No, this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Past whom?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

This past week, I got married. This is the honeymoon we're on now.

[Scott Aukerman]

What? Who did you get married to?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Look out the window. She's right there. Wave to her.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know who that is.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's Becky Climb.

[Scott Aukerman]

Becky Climb. She's a.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

She's a solo free climber.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. And how coincidental that her name would be.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I thought you were gonna say, how cool is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I really don't know now.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah. Coincidentally, she changed her name.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. To climb. Right.

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or I thought you meant to Becky.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Her first name was Rebecca.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I said change it to Becky. That's more. People know Becky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. So. So she's a free climber. What exactly is free climbing? That's.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Free climbing is climbing without a rope or something. Exactly. Right. Without.

[Scott Aukerman]

Without a trapeze net.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No trapeze net, no rope. You are allowed climbing shoes and a chalk bag.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. What? And chalk is to make your hands more grippy.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Grippy, not slippy. You want grippy, not slippy. She's getting a sponsorship, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're just waving at her. What is the.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I love her got.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's the highest thing she's ever climbed?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well. Or is she on the Honeymoon show? Okay, but I don't want to get into that. She has climbed Mount Everest, so.3 inches. Watch yourself. All right. Wouldn't you just love to know how big my balls are?

[Scott Aukerman]

I try to find it out from all our guests.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sometimes I just come straight out and ask. And sometimes I got to be a little sneakier.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm glad you went to the bathroom, though, I'll tell you that much.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I did notice a. There was a sort of a teddy bear doll in there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And the head would sort of sound was moving back and forth. Yeah. Oh, you noticed a lot of clicking noises, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Gosh. I gotta get. I noticed that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I said, is this one of those sound machines where.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where it just goes clicks?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Helps your flow.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's exactly what it is. In any case, what is. Is she a high climber or a low climber? Does she climb down low? Meaning?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

She does high mountains, but she goes around the outside of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Climbs up about 4ft, 5ft.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then. And then just does the circumference.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And does the circumference. So she's not height. So it doesn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's afraid of heights. Is that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yep, okay, that's exactly right. And so that's why we didn't take our honeymoon to Paris. We're gonna go to Paris.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, because of the Eiffel Tower.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Exactly. I got us a nice room right up there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Up in the Eiffel Tower with the.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Finest French butlers of this in the country.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right? Yeah. It's hard to get the, the rooms right up at the top, but if you can get one of those, the reservations, you got it like booked years in advance.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, we. Well, or a couple months.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's only a couple of months. A couple months.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We had Groupon for it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you had a Groupon.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or a coupon.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, a Groupon is a coupon. It is.

[Scott Aukerman]

But did you have other people you were gonna go with?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

My beautiful wife and a lot of her kids wanted to come.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, she has kids?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

A lot of them. How many of, of her kids of. Well, let's see, she's.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many does she have that are not her kids?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

She's got a few that are just kind of blended in. Just kind of hard to get rid of them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I said, you know what? I'm missing a few from my or my team. My Crazy Eight.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. The Crazy Eights is your, the, the film.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

My production group.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your production.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, they all went on strike.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, why?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

They said the working conditions were God awful and dangerous. And I don't blame them. Those, some of those bottles that would be breaking and shooting all over the place did some serious damage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right. I'm so sorry. So are you shut down, I mean.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, no, we just.

[Scott Aukerman]

Using scabs.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Furloughed them. Using scabs? Yeah, YouTube. Nobody cares.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's all right, I guess.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I, I, I only answer to one executive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Who's bank of America.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

All right.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought you meant God, but.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, he. That too.

[Scott Aukerman]

So she has, she has a ton of kids. What is that like you're now a new stepfather? I guess it's fun.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm getting. I'm meeting them.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're meeting them still? You're still in the meeting phase?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Still in the meeting phase. I said, did they need to be on the honeymoon? They said, said, well, she said I'd be more comfortable. I'm not comfortable alone with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? Where did you meet her?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I met her on a mountain. I was, I was doing a Hike.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And I saw her scooting around the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Side, scooting around the side.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And I said, well, you, like, go for a date at my campfire. You know, I was camping, so we did a little campfire day.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. And she.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It was nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

It was nice. So you camped on your first day.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

But, you know, I do open carry now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, some sort of sidearm or.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay, I see this. See the two. I got two guns on me the whole time. And she just feels unsafe because I'm. I don't have a license. And I'm always kind of winging them around, you know, spinning them.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. So you're. You're doing gun tricks, right?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

So she said, well, I want some more my kids around just so there's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Other people to protect me, to act as human shields.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

She's nuts. And that's why I love her, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I mean, good luck to you. I'm. I. Congratulations.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You're the first person to say that to us.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not a good sign.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, I know. Everyone's giving it. Everyone's giving it seven months. I don't know what the seven months came from, but. Yeah, really.

[Scott Aukerman]

Seems like an odd period of time everyone is giving you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's like if we invite you to the wedding, either come or don't come. And if you're going to come, you don't need to. After the ceremony, explain to me when you think it's going to break up and why.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess maybe their point of view is 7 months puts you right after Valentine's Day. And that's when a lot of couples tend to break up because either they have fights on Valentine's Day or they don't want to buy Valentine's Day gifts, so they break up right before.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, this is going to get costly. I do believe. Probably got to get Valentine's gifts for all those kids, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, yeah, you don't want them to be left. Left out, unfortunately.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What's the latest? Paw Patrol. I'll probably get some Paw Patrol, Go to cvs, get Paw Patrol Valentine's cards and give them to the kids.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yeah, that's great.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's inexpensive.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I should get them now. I bet they're cheap as hell.

[Scott Aukerman]

I bet they are. Yeah. You know what you should do is you should get them day after Valentine's Day each year for the next year. Now, now, it wouldn't. Maybe the. The things on them like Paw Patrol wouldn't be as popular.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, Daddy loves you. Here's a Darkwing Duck card.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. By the way, popular Paw Patrol. Popular.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you think I could write for that show?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I do. I think you could write for the whoever makes their Valentine's card.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, look, I need some side hustles.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Something.

[Scott Aukerman]

My Spider man thing exploded in my face.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I gotta feel mine's going to too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, Jason Manzoukas, I. Look, I. I'm a big fan of your work.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You've seen the show?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have seen the show.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What was your favorite? Because I asked this of all the. My audience members, of which there are a lot. How. What was your favorite grill moment?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, the. The time you couldn't catch anything and you just kind of sat there staring into the camera.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

God, that was desperate. I said, well, maybe I can catch the. That worm on the ground of slug.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, you couldn't even catch the worm.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, I wasn't putting my heart into it because I said, you know, what do we get? Grill worms. Just throw the champagne on the thing. Let's get out of here.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a good point. Yeah, but that's my favorite episode. It was just so morose and just.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Because you got to really meet the who Jason is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And didn't like it. But I. I welcome the opportunity.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now. Did you not like it because of how stripped down and it was just me?

[Scott Aukerman]

It was. It was a little like it was unplugged or something like that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You know what I mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sure anytime I would watch that show, it's like, guys, plug your instruments.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Plug them in. Because they. They would have them all plugged in on the guitar end.

[Scott Aukerman]

MTV would come out and like one by one unplug everything from the amps. I'm just like, guys, you don't even know what's going on. The network is like screwing you right now for their own gain.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It worked for Nirvana. Well, we're not Nirvana, Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, they sound great. They sound great doing anything.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We're alien ant farming. We need our damn ants.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need our ants. Well, anyway, great to see you, Jason Manzuka. Tell you what, can you stick around?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

If you want me to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do want you to. Coming up, we have a possible future first lady of a state.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

A possible. Now that's interesting that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, there's a lot to unpack and we're going to unpack it. This is going to be like getting home after a long vacation. Oh, we're just going to get to unpack things. You love unpacking things at the end of a long vacation, don't you?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Unpacking all your things.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. We're going to be doing that. Stick around. We will have more adjacent Manzukas. We'll be right back with more comedy Bang Bang after this. Boy, sticker shock, huh? You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about prices. They're going up, up, up, up up at the gas pump, the grocery store rent. But you know what? At Metro they got your back. They actually have lowered their prices and they're giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. One line now 20% lower. Family plans also lowered. Oh get this. You get a free 5G phone, all with no ID required, no activation fees. So stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit metrobyt-mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. Bring your number not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guarantee covers monthly price of on network Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan. Exclusions apply. Details@metrobyt mobile.com this episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you're just starting out or maybe you're scaling your business, Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online with Squarespace's collection of cutting edge design tools. These are real tools by the way. It's like a hammer they had Squarespace reached out and they said we invented a new hammer. It's cutting edge. I said please hammer, don't hurt him. And we all laughed. But in any case, they have some great tools and anyone can build a bespoke online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. Start with Blueprint AI, Squarespace's AI Enhanced website Builder to get a fully custom website in just a few steps, using basic information about your industry goals and personality to create premium quality content and personalized design recommendations. And every dream needs a domain, doesn't it? Well, Squarespace Domains makes it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair all inclusive price. No hidden fees or add ons required. Head over to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial and when you are ready to launch, use offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. If everybody had a surfboard, I don't know how that song goes, but gosh, isn't it bittersweet that summer is winding down. But you know there is something nice about getting back into the routines that fall brings. You know, as summer winds down you can get back into whatever routines you're a little minds are part of. With Wayfair. That's right. From bedding and linens to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one stop shop. Refresh your workspace with desks, bookcases, office chairs for way, way less. Or maybe you could make weeknight dinners a thing again with quality cookware that makes meal time a breeze. There's something for every style in every home, no matter your space or your budget. Free and easy delivery. Even on the big stuff. That's right. Oh, you're sitting there going, oh yeah? Well, they're not going to deliver this. No. Free and easy. No more huge delivery fees for furniture. Get big stuff like sofas, dining tables, beds, desks. Oh, all of it is shipped free. Let me tell you what we got at Wayfair. Recently, the fine folks at Wayfair were very nice to give us a gift certificate. And I gave it over to Coolop. Looks like we got a three piece lighted Christmas deer set. Outdoor yard decoration. So summer really is over. Apparently. Because we're buying Christmas decorations. But not just Christmas decorations. We got a skeleton that you can pose to sit on. Stuff the pose and stay skeleton. All right. We also got a rabbit sitting with a ladybug. Okay, a little less macabre look. Apparently we're stocking up on everything we need for this fall and this winter's holidays. You could do it too. Get organized, refreshed and back to routine. For way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home that is. W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair. You know how to spell it? Wayfair. Every style, every home comedy. Bang bang. We're back. Jason Mantzoukas is here. Coming up a little later, we have a possible future first lady of a state. That's very exciting. I wonder what state. What state are you from, Jason Manzoukas?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Me? I'm from the south.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're from the. Yeah. Just in general.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, the south of Ontario. Canada.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I live in Toronto.

[Scott Aukerman]

Beautiful country.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I live in Toronto. Up there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, that's all right.

[Signy Gadetto]

Hands up, hands up. Nobody moves.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I ain't doing nothing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Jason, is this you? This is a Southern drawl and I.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Nope, I do not know this Southern prison. It's me. Over here.

[Signy Gadetto]

Hairs up.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Nobody move.

[Signy Gadetto]

I've got a taser and I'm not afraid to use it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm doing it, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, sorry. I'll put my hands up if you could please introduce yourself.

[Signy Gadetto]

You think I'm gonna introduce myself as I commit a robbery, a crime, you got another thing coming. Mr. Scott Arkerman, I am here for your money.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I guess we're in the middle of a hold up here. I don't think I've ever been.

[Signy Gadetto]

Hands up.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Nobody moves. I just got so much stuff going on my days these days. This is just one more.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's difficult to fit it in. Yeah, I know.

[Signy Gadetto]

All the money is in podcasting these days.

[Scott Aukerman]

So much stuff in my pod. My pockets too. I was gonna say podcast.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I just been to.

[Signy Gadetto]

Listen, I. I command authority over here, all right? I have a taser and I am not afraid to use it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I said hands up. My hands are up. And how am I supposed to get you what's in my pockets?

[Signy Gadetto]

I don't want your pockets. I want the safe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, this take here. She knows about the safe.

[Signy Gadetto]

The podcast safe. All the money is in podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you mind telling me at least your gender and how, what your pronouns are so I don't have to take that mask off?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, take the mask off. Talking to.

[Signy Gadetto]

I thought this might happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Peer pressure. Take the mask off.

[Signy Gadetto]

I really don't want to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do it. Do I have to do it? Do it.

[Signy Gadetto]

No, I really don't want to. If I do, then you might turn me in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tell you what, why don't we just adjacent. Do you mind promising that we're not going to turn?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm good with a truce if we can get to the bottom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Call a truce. Yeah. Who are you?

[Signy Gadetto]

Well, hello, my name is Signy. Signe. Gardetto.

[Scott Aukerman]

Signing. Dogdetto.

[Signy Gadetto]

Gaudetto.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gaudetto.

[Signy Gadetto]

Like the rye crackers.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I confess I haven't eaten them, but. Goddetto.

[Signy Gadetto]

You've never had a Godetto.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never had a Godaddo.

[Signy Gadetto]

A God. Deado.

[Scott Aukerman]

I, I. No matter how many times you say it, I think Godetto.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I think it's. I think if we spell it, we might just figure this whole thing out.

[Signy Gadetto]

Yeah, G. G. That's G for gun, which I don't have. I have a taser.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can go a little faster, by the way.

[Signy Gadetto]

A for anus. It's just what came out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, okay. A. That's what it said.

[Signy Gadetto]

As in what God inspires inside of you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so G. A D. D like diggity dog. Okay, great.

[Signy Gadetto]

E as in enunciate. T as in trouble, which was what I am. And another P, which is could be for T. Rhymes. Yeah. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

T rhymes with P? Yeah, yeah. No, P. T. P. Well, T rhymes.

[Signy Gadetto]

With P. T rhymes with. That's true.

[Scott Aukerman]

Two.

[Signy Gadetto]

Two T's which rhyme with P in a row and then O, which is what you should be saying, cuz. Oh my, you are in trouble.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I usually say it when I have my O face when I'm interrupt us.

[Signy Gadetto]

All right, all right, so take me to the safe. All the money's in podcasting these days and I am looking for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want some of the. The money from the safe? What about the. The coins? What about the.

[Signy Gadetto]

I'll take anything. I'll take anything if you have any Susan B. Anthony coins, anything. Rap pennies, anything specific.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I have my stamp collection too, and some handwritten notes about how to turn it into songs. No, that's probably the most valuable stuff in there, at least, like in a future sense. I don't know.

[Signy Gadetto]

Think I want any of the memorabilia stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not necessarily memorabilias. It is like future royalties.

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh, these. Is this a full libretto?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I mean, I wouldn't call it a libretto necessarily. Is.

[Signy Gadetto]

This is a book?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the book and libretto. Yeah, I was gonna say. Yeah, I. I wanted to write the whole thing, kind of make it an auteur.

[Signy Gadetto]

I just want the cash. I want the money. I want the money you got from your podcast deals. Mark Marin, he's the second richest man in America.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You know Mark Marin?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I've met Mark Marin. Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Is he going. Is he getting. Is he getting canceled or not canceled? He's going live away.

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I think he's not only getting canceled, but he is then going away.

[Signy Gadetto]

He's. He's made enough money and now he's retiring.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, why don't you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Go rob him.

[Signy Gadetto]

Well, I just mad.

[Scott Aukerman]

That'll mean he goes back to his show.

[Signy Gadetto]

I just might. I happen to be in the area and so I thought I'd stop by here first.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, I think those snipers are still on the roof from Obama when he interviewed Obama. So it's probably better you're over here.

[Signy Gadetto]

Well, I. That's express reason why I did not bring a gun. I brought a taste us and I'm.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Not afraid to use y. Come on. Don't hit me with that thing.

[Signy Gadetto]

You. So you just watch out. Listen, I hot radio. I hit up them. I hot the money. Wondery podcasting. I wonder where all the money's coming from.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do head gum. Do head gum.

[Signy Gadetto]

Head gum makes my head hurt cuz I'm so poor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I would maybe you want to punch this up a little bit?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Or hey, what if it's something like head gum? You'll get as much money if you put. You know, if your head is made of gum and you stick it into a safe, something like that, because you come out and all the. You know, you'd have to rework the phrasing.

[Scott Aukerman]

You have to rework the entire sentence.

[Signy Gadetto]

I'm willing to say that mine wasn't very good, but I don't think yours was better. Hey, nobody move. I said nobody move.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Why are you doing your calisthenics right now? Like I said, secretly said not to move.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I am time poor. I need. I understand what Sydney was. Sydney. And the last name. I completely did not.

[Scott Aukerman]

G A R D E T T.

[Signy Gadetto]

O. I am the heir to the Gardetto fortune.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

The heiress to the Gadetto fortune.

[Signy Gadetto]

The heiress to the Gardetto fortune. Yeah. You know, there was a time when everybody loved even Gardettos.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way, why do we need to put S on the end of air? You know what I mean? Why do we need to genderize, you know, getting money from our parents? You know what I mean?

[Signy Gadetto]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what I'm saying?

[Signy Gadetto]

Thank you. Yeah, absolutely.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everyone should be an heiress.

[Signy Gadetto]

We're all going to spend it the same.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Signy Gadetto]

It's just money.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you all spend it on makeup?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What did you go to the Heiress tour?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was like the. The Guggenheims and the Gettys.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I would like. I like to kindly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stella McCartney there.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I would like to retract my state.

[Signy Gadetto]

No, I was there. It was a. It was beautiful. Beautiful costume changes. The stagecraft alone. And the important thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love costume changes. Like when Gandalf came back and he was like, wearing white.

[Signy Gadetto]

Incredible. I love that when. When what's her name? When Idina Menzel, she. She pulls the. The wire and the dress turns, you know, from mood. It's just. Stage magic is just one of the most. Oh, Adele Dazeem. She changed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Legally.

[Signy Gadetto]

Legally.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Remember a second ago I piped up and I. I was like. I was gonna make a point. I didn't get to that point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, what was the point?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

My point is gonna be, so I was just shot by Signy.

[Scott Aukerman]

By the way. Be specific because you can't say you were shot.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's stolen valor.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

All right, So I was. I was tased.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It didn't hurt.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I mean, slightly inconvenient. So I'm thinking we don't need to really.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, we're. We could probably Rush.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Are you serious?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay, great. Just so we know that this is very.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's just.

[Signy Gadetto]

You're not feeling that at all.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm kind of lacking it at this irritate.

[Signy Gadetto]

I think I could turn that up a bit.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm almost dying.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here we go.

[Signy Gadetto]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Split the diff. Split the dip.

[Signy Gadetto]

Okay, let me see. Turn it down a little bit.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay, now that's all right. So that's. It's annoying, but it doesn't hurt. That's good. Keep it at that level.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Signy Gadetto]

That's good. For future notice, I'm going to go visit the Kelke brothers later, so if.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You ever want to rob me again. Yeah, that's keeping.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, by the way, the Kelkey Brothers. You see, Taylor Swift is going to be on that show.

[Signy Gadetto]

Don't I know it.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is going on?

[Signy Gadetto]

Don't I know? I mean, that is where. Let me tell you, I'm expecting big money in those safes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why does a fucking billionaire need to be on a podcast? Jesus.

[Signy Gadetto]

That's where all the billionaires love it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You love podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love the art form.

[Signy Gadetto]

Podcasting is about making money these days. I mean, that's where all the billionaires are. Barack Obama has a podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, with Springsteen.

[Signy Gadetto]

Okay? Two guys. Two big, rich, fancy guys. You think that they're not weird, that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Springsteen is technically richer than Barack Obama?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I don't think that's weird.

[Signy Gadetto]

I don't think president should be rich.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't think so?

[Signy Gadetto]

No, I don't think president.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want them to be politicians?

[Signy Gadetto]

I think politicians should be. Yeah. Pretty poor. I think they should be regular people.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is. I. I just don't know whether I agree with this stuff. We need to give them remuneration in order to. To procure their services.

[Signy Gadetto]

Numeration. Okay. Shakespeare. Shakespeare over here. My goodness.

[Scott Aukerman]

The immortal bar.

[Signy Gadetto]

A farthing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that your impression of Shakespeare?

[Signy Gadetto]

How is that. Now, the Southern accent is actually dramatically close to the way that the English used to speak.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I think that's maybe why John Lennon showed up just a little minute ago.

[Signy Gadetto]

Just to talk with John Lennon.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where are you from, by the way? Signy, you. You say that is the Southern accent?

[Signy Gadetto]

I'm from Franklin.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're from. Oh, Franklin. Franklin Company. Franklin. Oh, Franklin, Tennessee.

[Signy Gadetto]

Yeah. I do work at Franklin and Company. I mean, once the Gardetto money ran out.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are local references.

[Signy Gadetto]

Everybody knows Franklin Company. It's no longer there. The Velita Corona.

[Scott Aukerman]

I thought it moved.

[Signy Gadetto]

Did it now?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I have no idea.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You might be thinking of the. The. The Wait staff moved within the.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah. They were walking around.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That was what I was thinking a lot.

[Signy Gadetto]

Yeah, so. I mean, once the ghetto fortune. I tried a cookbook. Nobody see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why did the ghetto fortune go away? You've never talked about that.

[Signy Gadetto]

Some solidly bad investments on my.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I've never heard about that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

What was the Goddetto business?

[Signy Gadetto]

Where the Godettos. It's the Jesus Christ, the Godos. The crackers ride ships.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then you made more investments.

[Signy Gadetto]

Excuse. I made poor investments. Make a couple cookbooks. Got out of cookbooks. I mean the import.

[Scott Aukerman]

What, you've made cookbooks?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Of course I've made cookbooks.

[Scott Aukerman]

You should collab.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Look, Scott, a collab is a wonderful thing, but when you open up a club with a tasing, I'm a little apprehensive.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, maybe you could tase her back and you'd be even.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Let me see that taste. Just for two seconds.

[Signy Gadetto]

Go for it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's this mob do. Okay. Oh, not great, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Signy Gadetto]

Kind of makes my nipples a little hard.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

All right, I'm put giving this back to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I just got married. I can't get into another thing now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait.

[Signy Gadetto]

Come on, will you taste me?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't want your nipples to get hard either.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Come on.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, all right. Here we go. Ready?

[Signy Gadetto]

Yay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, now they're fully just pointing out of your shirt.

[Signy Gadetto]

Yeah, well, I mean.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, come on, Jason. We have to get our nipples hard.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Parody.

[Scott Aukerman]

We don't want. We don't want to be creeps sitting here looking at.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay, here, let me get you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't want you to tase me to do it. Oh, just like kind of feel them. Just lick your finger.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now that I won't do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, in any case, Sydney, I. I don't. As you can see, I don't have any money in the safe here.

[Signy Gadetto]

All right, well, what's in your pockets then? God damn it, Scott Aukerman. I came here, you know, looking for a payload.

[Scott Aukerman]

Here's. I mean, here's some used Kleenex gun. Gum. Yeah, look. Gum. Of course.

[Signy Gadetto]

Okay, a ticket stub.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, ticket. Yeah, more ticket stubs. It's the finest museum.

[Signy Gadetto]

Okay, this is two stickets to Freaky Friday.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, that's what I mean when I say museum. He was showing the movie Freakier Friday.

[Signy Gadetto]

The Academy Museum.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, the. Yeah, it was Academy consideration.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Is it true R2D2 is down there at the Academy museum?

[Signy Gadetto]

Are you calling me R2D2?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, I'm asking you about where R2D2 is at this very moment.

[Scott Aukerman]

Moment?

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh, I haven't spoken to the man in years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't. Don't call her R2D2, okay?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I use it as. As a very.

[Scott Aukerman]

She may be uninvited, but she's a guest on the show.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Like, you might say dude or homie. I say R2D. Hey, R2. What's up, R2D2.

[Scott Aukerman]

You say.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You say R2D2 like bro or bruh or anything.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. Come on, R2D2.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You owe me money on this Venmo.

[Signy Gadetto]

As in, and what God inspires you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Chasing people down for money on Venmos?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I told you I was Tom for.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, yeah, I have nothing in my pockets other than these ticket stubs. And I. I mean, business has been bad around these parts. I mean, look, you know, stars are sort of back, but I haven't had any actual movie stars or anything on this show.

[Signy Gadetto]

Goddamn depression.

[Scott Aukerman]

All I've had is, like, comedians with specials and podcasters. It's really rough out here. And today I have a YouTube celebrity. Shit, have all the kids.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I do very well for myself on YouTube.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

How.

[Scott Aukerman]

How much money do you have on me?

[Signy Gadetto]

Adjacent. Manzukas, please. Empty your. You can get up off the floor now. Are you doing your lunges still or you want to get up off the floor?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

All right, I'll get up. I'll get up. Get up off that floor.

[Signy Gadetto]

Get up off that floor now.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm dancing.

[Signy Gadetto]

Get up off that floor now.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're dancing together. What is happening here?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I know you. Do you know how to salsa? Nobody salsas anymore.

[Signy Gadetto]

Until you feel better, you're four feet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Away and your erect nipples are touching. What is going on right now?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Why do you have to break down every. I'm happy for once.

[Signy Gadetto]

That's it. That's it.

[Scott Aukerman]

We're obviously not happy with Mrs. Climb out there.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Draw the blinds. I don't need her to see this.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's rapping on the window right now.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Rapping at your chamber door.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's doing the Robert De Niro and Meet the Parents. Like, you know, V finger.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, we. That was playing during our wedding. So she says, Remember the wedding? Oh, I remember, dear.

[Signy Gadetto]

This dance is not sexual. Although it may Look. Look. Sexual. It is not sexual at all. Just hip. It's a hip to hip connection.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Wait a minute. She's trying to get in my money. Get out. Hey, get out of my pocket.

[Signy Gadetto]

You got nothing in here.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I got nothing in this one, but this one's Just full of wheat pennies. Remember wheat pennies? Those are worth a lot of money.

[Signy Gadetto]

Hey, look, I specifically asked for wheat pennies at the when I came in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can I give you some advice here? Go hit up the smartless guys. They're hawking credit cards and like this, like. You know what I mean? Like, stop bothering us. Look, when I started this podcast, I was just a simple, simple man with a dream and the email address of every famous comedian in Los Angeles.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And I paid big money for that list.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did. I heard that those were the Glengarry leads and I built this show up from nothing. These smartless guys, they're TV stars. Go bother them. They're rich TV stars and now they have credit card shit going on. Like credit card scams.

[Signy Gadetto]

If you don't think they're on my list, then you got another thing coming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, shorten the list to just them and get the fuck out of here.

[Signy Gadetto]

I need something for my time and tribulation.

[Scott Aukerman]

Have you hit them up yet? They're fucking loaded, man.

[Signy Gadetto]

I tried emailing them, but their booker is bothering me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Don't bother Conan.

[Signy Gadetto]

Conan has a restraining order.

[Scott Aukerman]

A guy was on TV for fucking 35 years and now decided to make a podcast deal for hundreds of millions.

[Signy Gadetto]

Conan has a restraining order against me for a different separate, not related reason.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, this is why my laws do work. They say why, why make gun laws? People will just break them. But see, the restraining order is working right now.

[Signy Gadetto]

I'm a very lawful person. This is well within my right to have a self defense.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I don't think you're a normal person.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, she said loft.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, my damn ears.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why don't you get the out of your ears next time you come here?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You don't worry about my ear hygiene for two seconds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, Signy, we have to take a break because we have to do ads in order to get more money for this.

[Signy Gadetto]

All right, I'll allow it.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. So can you stick around though?

[Signy Gadetto]

If you want me to.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would love for you to stick around because we have the possible future first lady of a state coming up. Okay.

[Signy Gadetto]

Can I shake it down?

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess so, yeah. Do you. Would you mind adjacent?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I don't mind that. I just want to say there's a lot of money in YouTubers too, just so you can.

[Signy Gadetto]

YouTubers, exactly.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Signy Gadetto]

That is a promise.

[Scott Aukerman]

Good. Chime in right at the last second right when we're going to break with.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

The right edit that could be made. Very good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I'm afraid we don't have that kind of technology.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You don't edit this show.

[Scott Aukerman]

We do. We don't have the kind of technology to edit that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You don't have a shovel.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we need to take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more signe godetto. We're gonna have more adjacent manzoukas, plus the possible future first lady of a state. We'll be right back with more comedy bang bang after this. Oh, man, is it easy how your day can get hijacked by doing tedious tasks. The time disappears, Right. Leaving little time to focus on what you love to do and what you do best. Right. Are you in meetings? That could have been an email. Do you say to your to your partner, hey, I'm gonna go do a quick errand and then you're gone for three weeks. Well, anyway, if you're a realtor, a lawyer, accountant, or really any profession that requires a lot of mailing or shipping, you don't have time to be a postage expert or stand in line to drop off letters and packages. Well, for more than 28 years, Stamps.com has been doing more than just small business mailings. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever, automatically. See your cheapest and fastest shipping options from different carriers. All you need is a computer and a printer. They even, check this out, send you a free scale. Now, We've been using stamps.com around these parts from the beginning. They're one of our first sponsors ever. We love them. How does stamps.com provide flexibility? Well, you know, we're not sitting around going like, all right, how much do you think this thing costs to mail and then putting on 29 stamps on it. We never have to do that anymore. It's exact to the penny. Don't waste time worrying about being a postage expert or standing in line to drop off letters and packages. Let Stamp.com do what they do best so you can do what you do better. Go to stamps.com and use code bang bang to sign up for a special offer. No contract. Cancel any time. That is stamps.com code bang bang. You know, in between busy schedules and summer plans, surfboarding, etc. You know, sometimes all you've got is a couple of minutes. Right factor helps you eat smarter in those couple of minutes with tasty chef prepped meals that are dietitian approved and delivered right to your door. And now with more than 65 weekly meals made for how you live and what you like to eat, you've got even more ways to fit In a real meal, whenever and wherever the day takes you. Whatever, Wherever. Shakira. And for the first time, try Asian inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand and more. Now, I've talked about this before. We got a little test run of Factor when they started advertising on the show and we stuck around. We pay for it every week. We love it. They're really easy to make, just like three minutes in the microwave if that's how you choose to do it. And the new Asian meals, I don't need to tell you in this house. In this house, we eat them. In any case, eat [e-mail] Bang Bang 50 off and use code Bang Bang 50 off to get what else? 50 off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code Bang Bang 50 off at Factor Meals.com for 50 off plus free shipping. Get delicious ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Adam Pally here and I'm John Gabris. We're a couple actors and best friends who you may know as the host of the TV show 101 Places to Party before you die. Now we're bringing you a comedic look at health and wellness with our new show staying alive. We'll have guests like our friend actor Jerry O', Connell, ketamine therapist Dr. Stephen Radowitz, Paul Scheer, Ego Wodem, Gillian Bell, Dr. Dolittle. Staying alive with John Gabris. And Adam Pally is out right now. Get them a week early and ad free with Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple podcasts Comedy Bang Bang. We're back. We have here with us celebrity chef Jason Mantzoukas.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

How you doin? Let me, I just want to check in with you. How are you doing?

[Scott Aukerman]

You asked me that before and I'm, I appreciate constant check ins.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I usually, I do every half hour on the island.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I appreciate that. From the south part of Ontario. You're from Toronto.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Toronto, Canada.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have Signy Gadetto from I.

[Signy Gadetto]

Hate that I gave you my name from Franklin. Well, yeah, I hate that.

[Scott Aukerman]

But we promise not to turn you into the authorities.

[Signy Gadetto]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now, do you have the equipment to edit her saying her name out?

[Scott Aukerman]

No, unfortunately. Sorry. We have a specific editing machine criteria.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's avid.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, it's avid. Yeah, we avidly purchased. Okay. In any case, we need to get to our next guest who couldn't possibly be Southern, Right? She is the possible future first lady of a state. Please welcome Tinky.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Hi, honey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Now let me just say, honey, I'm glad I'm here. On a day with fellow Southerners. Because I am looking for each and every one of yalls vote when my husband runs for governor of Texas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay? That's the state in question.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Texas now. Yes, honey, my husband's running for the governor. Y' all know him, okay? He is a sheriff. He is a pastor. He is a doctor. Doctor. And he is an independently wealthy man. That's right. I'm talking about Hank Clydesdale.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hank Clasdale. I is running for governor of Texas. I haven't heard of him necessarily.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, well, honey, I know him.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

He's a big deal. Scott, guess what?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I don't really care about who you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Know and don't know.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Because some people would think that in.

[Scott Aukerman]

Order to vote for him, I'd have to retain the knowledge of his name, But.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Do you vote Texas? Sweetie, why are you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You said you wanted me to vote for him. Why are you here if. If not to.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

If you're gonna vote for him, I'll ask you to move to Texas. Okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

You'll pay for me to move to Texas?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

If you guarantee me a vote, I'll pay for anything, honey.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now, can I ask you a question real quick?

[Scott Aukerman]

Go ahead.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Sweetie adjacent, is it?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's my name. Yes.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I'm saying hi.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Good. How do you. I. Sometimes I get a little tripped up with these cans. I got the levels.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Anyway, speaking of cans, sweetie, I like you.

[Signy Gadetto]

Thank you. Thank you. Garth Fisher. 44C, under the muscle.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, perk. Little things, aren't they? Which reminds me, I want to come clean before all the ops come and get me. All these lib ops out there to try and reveal my secrets.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you want to come clean, that's the best way to do it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, I want to know some of these secrets.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I want to let y' all know all my secrets so you can't use them against my husband. Okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. What are those? What's going on in your family?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I guess happily married.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Signy Gadetto]

Chick.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Excuse me?

[Scott Aukerman]

I. I think chick. Chick or check. I'm not quite sure.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, we're Southern, Scott. We say chick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

When you do a chick, mark, it's.

[Signy Gadetto]

Sort of like checks mix, but check that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it. Got it.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Sweetie. Godettos got put out of business by checks mix.

[Signy Gadetto]

You. Those people. Okay, them, them, them.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Okay. And garros are just the little rye guys.

[Signy Gadetto]

The little rye crackers, the. The whole thing. The pretzels, sweetie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like rye bread, but more crisp.

[Signy Gadetto]

Exactly.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I've had those. Those are good.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Fantastic.

[Scott Aukerman]

God, I wish our editing machine wasn't broken.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now, you need to invest in new editing equipment until that comes.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I know.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, what is going on with you all?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Y' all are trying to get all the little dirt on Tinky with. Well, Tinky's here to tell you the dirt herself.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tinky is. She's you. Did I introduce you? Yes.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay, you got to write this down, honey. You've been doing this too long.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, sweetie, You're. You.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your name is Tinky.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yeah, got it. My name is Tinky Clale.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tinky Clydesdale.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

And I'm happily married to Hank Claudale. We have a beautiful marriage. And outside of the marriage, Chomp boss box. That's fine. My husband.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, sorry. I'm gonna need you to back up.

[Signy Gadetto]

Outside of the marriage.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three seconds, actually. Okay.

[Signy Gadetto]

Make it outside of the marriage.

[Scott Aukerman]

She.

[Signy Gadetto]

Chomp box.

[Scott Aukerman]

What does that mean? Chomp box.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Chomp box. Me and my lady friends, we call ourselves hunting wives. We go ahead now. We. We go ahead and we. Well, we all put on cute little outfits, go and shoot boars, and they. Then we all head back to my place and ch. Box.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's what my wife is planning on doing that after the honeymoon, getting together with her lady friends, putting on cute little outfits. Putting on cute little outfits, which don't if I'm. I've never been to one of these sessions, but the outfits don't last long, if I am correct.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, no. They disintegrate in water, sweetie.

[Signy Gadetto]

I love to come to one of those, but I'd like to keep mine on, please.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Sweetie, in order to be a hunting wife, you got to do nothing but hunt and be wife.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about the chomping box part of it? You.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

The chomping box. That's happening all the time. We 69. We. 86 We. I'd like to 86 We 3, 6 do that, where we sit on each other's faces and just spin around. But the thing that I know the libs are going to come after is. Is this. And they're going to find it out, so I might as well say, okay, I was born with a little twin on my back. I caught him, I off, I carry him around, and he murders people.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wait, so this is a malignant kind of situation, but.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Well, it's a basket case.

[Scott Aukerman]

A basket case. Okay, sorry. Yeah. I. I want to make sure we get the right terminology that's not offensive to people with this affliction.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

No, no, no, no. Malignant stayed on the back. Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Basket. Basket case. Cut. Was Cut off and.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

And I'm in charge of him.

[Signy Gadetto]

Is that who's in that bassinet over there?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, yes. Oh, sweetie, he's fine. It's only people that wrong. Me and my husb.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Is that what that sort of acidic smell is?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I thought something was going on here.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

That's my twin that I cut off my back when I was a child. I raise him like my own.

[Signy Gadetto]

Is that why the back of your chair is sort of seeping?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Well, yes, that is. That is the thing. I still puss from there. Okay. And I actually don't want to correct it because it reminds me of my brother.

[Signy Gadetto]

What God gave you.

[Scott Aukerman]

And thank you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And it sets you apart.

[Scott Aukerman]

The brother is tinier, though, because hasn't had a. A chance to grow the nutrients, I guess, that you've had over your life.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yeah, he basically just looks like a brain with hands and feet. And he lives inside that little basket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Googly eyes at all, at least.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Big old googly eyes. They always are facing different directions. They pop around. They pop inside.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

He kind of looks like what I was talking about, or we talked about head gum before. He kind of looks like a piece of head gum.

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh, that he does. That he does. Does he have money on him now?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Basket case. He never worked a day in his damn life.

[Scott Aukerman]

Can you imagine hiring basket case over? I mean, now that I'm getting a good look at him, he. I mean, he would scare away the customers, right?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You better stay on his good side there, Scott, because scared he capable of a lot.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I know malignant was. But this is not like malignant right now.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Malignant. He stayed in the back, sure, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

He killed a lot of people.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

This is like that.

[Signy Gadetto]

You guys are pretending like movies are real life. In real life right now, we got a freaky little child that looks like a head.

[Scott Aukerman]

Some movies are real life. Apollo 13. The guy just died. Died. If that isn't real, I don't know what is.

[Signy Gadetto]

What do you mean? That's a real movie? They're going up into space.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Titanic. So you think the boat's still floating around?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let me go take a trip on Titanic tomorrow then. Jesus Christ.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Jurassic Park. Okay. Yeah. There aren't dinosaurs. Sorry, I lost my train of thought. But the thing is, Signy, y' all better be nice to my little brother over there, okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we'll be nice to. What's his name again?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Schmin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Shmink. Okay, Schmin and Twink.

[Signy Gadetto]

Tank.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tinky.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Schmin. Tinky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Schmin. Tinky.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And.

[Scott Aukerman]

And you're in. In charge of him.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You say, listen, we are thick as thieves. Always have been. So he comes me wherever I go. But that little rascal gets out sometimes at night, and he goes crazy. And I know the libs are going to try and find that out. And he's killing people, unfortunately.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That is unfortunate.

[Scott Aukerman]

And these are enemies of you or enemies of him, or it's both.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Anybody that gets a little crick in his crawl, well, that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, it's good that you got that out there certainly. There can't be any other skeletons in your closet.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Well, there's a literal skeleton in my closet.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't say.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

My husband's first wife.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I. I do want to remind the audience right now that this is not your October Halloween episode. This is happening now.

[Scott Aukerman]

It could be misconstrued as that, but no, we're in the throes of Augie Doggy right now, and this is some crazy happening here. So, wait.

[Signy Gadetto]

American life.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I mean, thank you very much, Signy. Scott, all. Oh, I'm in Los Angeles. Life is all perfect. Sweet. You couldn't handle it a day over here.

[Signy Gadetto]

I reckon Scott got a taste of the taser, and he wants a little chomp from Bitsy over there. Gutsy, Nutsy.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Schmidt.

[Signy Gadetto]

Schmitzy.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all know his name. Let's say it all at the same time.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Schminck. We're not. Yeah, of course it's Schmidt. This fallout after Monk, I was thinking.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Now, that's funny, because Monk don't want to touch nothing, and Schmidt doesn't want to touch everything. Mike would be so scared of Schminck, and he. If he ever saw him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, he'd be scared of anyone, though. I mean, to be fair to Monk, anyone touches Monk and he goes crazy.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

So Schmid.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

By the way, could people be more fair to Monk?

[Scott Aukerman]

Please.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We can be more fair.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

All I'm hearing is, oh, Monk, don't do this. Monk, don't do that. Can we be more fair to Monk?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Let's focus on what Monk. Doo doo.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, speaking of doo doo, what did Monk do?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Speaking of doo doo. You got it all over your face, sweetie.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Hell, I blame Schminck, because I don't know if you guys noticed. He squirmed up my whole body and then started.

[Scott Aukerman]

You didn't see this defecating on your face?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

He was sort of kneeling me squatting over, standing on my head, squatting over my face on my nose.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay? So, yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And of course, I try to rub it off, but it got.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

She can be a boner killer. Okay, when my girls And I are 86 and 42 and 352, 249, blue 45.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah. Hut, hut. Right?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

And then a word that means lesbian, but I don't want to say it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

But I don't want to say it.

[Signy Gadetto]

Munch.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Munch Box.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

All right, Munch.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about Detective Munch now?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

What about him?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, you gotta be say more about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Detective, can we be more fair to him too now? It's too similar, right? Because I turned. I tuned into Monk, and I was like, oh, boy. Let's see what Detective Munch. He's on the X Files. He's on svu. He's on every show, and then it turns out to be this guy Monk, not Munch.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Can I tell you, just going back to Monk for just too sick.

[Signy Gadetto]

Sure. We got time.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Have you seen monk season 5? The episode is called Monk in the Big Game. He starts coaching a basketball team.

[Scott Aukerman]

I haven't seen this. This seems like an atypical job for Monk, who, of course, has ocd, and.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It'S a very early. Jennifer Lawrence is in it.

[Signy Gadetto]

Wow.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You don't say Jennifer Lawrence. And there's an extra in it in the stand. Fans, I would love your audience to go watch that show and see if they. It is exactly that.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Honey, that's fantastic.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It was nice for him.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Any interaction with Shaloub?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, no. From what I'm understanding, no. And he also lost one of his favorite sweatshirts at that shoot.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did Jennifer Lawrence steal it?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Maybe? No. But the funny thing is, that whole episode, Jennifer Lawrence grew up to be a. A beautiful fine of actress. In that episode, she was in a costume, a mascot costume, like, most of the time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

So you couldn't even see. We didn't know her.

[Scott Aukerman]

We didn't know.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We didn't know what we had on set.

[Scott Aukerman]

We'd like our fans to. And you were there.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I was there, too.

[Signy Gadetto]

Have you all seen the episode of Monk? I think it's season six, episode 14.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Say more about that, where I think.

[Signy Gadetto]

It'S called one monk and two nuns and where Monk goes to a nunnery and he sort of solves a crime of passion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

All I do remember that. Right, right, right, right. That's when they introduced the idea of the Monk. Chunk is what they called his.

[Signy Gadetto]

Yeah, his sort of monologue at the end where he wraps it all up.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Did you all see that, that show on usa, the Huntress, when I played Phil Hagel the magician.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

My God, I didn't see that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I remember. You're working. Cursed.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I gotta say this because the Li.

[Scott Aukerman]

Season 1, Episode 23 of course.

[Signy Gadetto]

Are you just looking that up now?

[Scott Aukerman]

You see him? No, just off the top of the dome.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I did not grow up with cable. That's another thing libs are going to come after.

[Scott Aukerman]

What did you grow up with? So you never saw that MTV unplugged show?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

No, I never did. We grew up with the B switch cardboard box that Schminck. And what the hell is the gauze?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Schminck.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all know it.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

We all know it.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Okay, that was the test. That was a test. We got inside a cardboard box and pretended we were tv. That's how damn poor we were. We were so poor, we ate mud.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

How did you get all your money?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, I married Hank, of course.

[Signy Gadetto]

He's independently. Independently wealthy.

[Scott Aukerman]

And he has three jobs. He's a. What did you say? He's a doctor.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

He's a pastor. He's a sheriff. He's a doctor. He's independently wealthy.

[Signy Gadetto]

But be careful. Did you know you can lose your fortune?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Say more about that.

[Signy Gadetto]

Well, it can be there one day, and it can be gone tomorrow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tomorrow.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Not Hanks. Hank invests wisely in these double D.

[Scott Aukerman]

What you're supposed to do into double Ds.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

These double Ds he invested into me.

[Scott Aukerman]

So those are fake. Fake breasts that he purchased for you.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, these torpedoes were the engagement present.

[Signy Gadetto]

Is Hank supported? Is he listening right now to this? Because if he is, I'd invite him to leave for a second. I'd like to ask you a personal question. Question.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Now, listen. Hank is too busy to pay attention to anything on I do. That's why he don't know nothing about the box munching. I mean, he barely knows I have a damn twin.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Are you. Are you and Hank. I don't know. I want to put this delicately. Are you still remaining intimate?

[Signy Gadetto]

Yeah, that's the question I was gonna.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Ask, but you got to put it delicately.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I blow him, but I pretend it's a.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay, that's too.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's too big for it. Well, I don't know his personal situation.

[Signy Gadetto]

Scott, you gotta start asking people what not only what their dick and ball size is, but what their clit size is.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's true. What do you got?

[Signy Gadetto]

5Ft 5.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You really need to watch.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

And you roll it up like a fruit by the foot. What the hell?

[Signy Gadetto]

Stuff it in my. I actually only have one leg.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I stuff it in. What?

[Signy Gadetto]

Stuff it in my pants. I Only have one leg.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

That I gotta say because we're with a couple gentlemen right now and I.

[Signy Gadetto]

Don'T give a damn about that.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

No, no, no, sweetie, I don't either. But I, I. Gentlemen don't know that women clits, they're almost like an intestine. They'll be like, they'll be feet long and y' all just don't know, cuz they're always wrapped up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, that's the thing. I've never wanted to like pull on it with my tongue because I'm just worried it'll come out and it'll be like a big worm. That just.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now, that's. Now we were in my territory, worm stuff.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm worried one of these clits is going to scoot out. I'll throw it on the grill.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Now men are so preoccupied with, oh, size, size, size. You never even know that women clits are actually the longest part of a woman's body.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, I had no idea. But think about it, Scott. We are always thinking size with smell slickness.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what the.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's all we think about.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know what the largest organ on the human body is with me.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Scan clit scan what?

[Scott Aukerman]

Check this out.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

One large elbow. I'll help you out on that one.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Tasting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stop it.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Ugh. That does nothing for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right, because you're. How did you put it? Chomping box. Is that what you said?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I chew on it, I chomp it, I tied it. And I can tie it in a bow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, this has to be it. You have literally the skeleton of your husband's first wife in your closet. You munch box, you. What was that? Oh yeah, you have your little basket case situation going on. That has to be it, right?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I wrote a book as a teenager.

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh Lord, the libs are coming for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

You wrote a book? What was.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's exciting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it fiction? Non fiction, Historical fiction? I'm trying to think of any other.

[Signy Gadetto]

Genre kid lit fan fiction textbook.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It was historical fiction and it's not good.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not good.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Not good?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

That's why I can't let anybody find this book.

[Scott Aukerman]

But you got a publishing you.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It's a historic. I publish it myself. There's three copies and I need them destroyed.

[Scott Aukerman]

What was the subject matter?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It was historical. It's historical fiction about Teddy Roosevelt having an affair with a mermaid.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That didn't happen, I swear to God.

[Scott Aukerman]

I read, I read this book.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I thought that. Oh, you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was talking about how Teddy Roosevelt fell in love With a mermaid. And everyone's looking at me like I'm crazy, and I say it's true.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And if you don't believe me, you're not my friend anymore.

[Signy Gadetto]

I. I always knew something had to be going on in that marriage. I mean, look at Eleanor. She's a sweet girl, but nothing's going on between the two of them, Right?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It's historical fiction. I made it up for my imagination, but it's not well written, and it embarrasses me.

[Scott Aukerman]

You made up Teddy Roosevelt from your imagination? I've been talking about him like he's a real guy. The mustache.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I thought historical fiction meant that if there's real parts, but it's also fake. It's like when people.

[Scott Aukerman]

What, like Abraham Lincoln, vampire hunter?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes. Sweetie, isn't that historical fiction?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, I thought it was just history. That's fun. A little more fun.

[Signy Gadetto]

Real parts, but a little fake. It's like us.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I like.

[Signy Gadetto]

I like you. You want to burn my taser sometime?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Tase me right now. Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Scott, have you ever had a. Have you ever had a relationship form on the show?

[Scott Aukerman]

A romantic relationship every once in a while. Like, I'll tell you what I tell them. If you want to go on a second date, we'll pay for it.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

This was the first date.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly. The first date is not a podcast.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I guess if something blooms here with the. I don't know, but maybe I jumped into earlier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Anywhere in the world will pay for you to go.

[Signy Gadetto]

I think a first date has to. I think it has to have a bit more excitement in it. I mean, you mentioned hunting on the. Well, that's true.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I'm sorry, but that is. That is meant for you. This was the first date.

[Signy Gadetto]

No, it wasn't. This is a meeting. This is a. This is a me.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

This is a business meeting.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You tased me.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, men are crazy. I dated her. You did not date her. Y' all work together.

[Signy Gadetto]

Go off, sister. Go off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Speak.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I dated her. She's crazy. You didn't date her, okay?

[Signy Gadetto]

She's your mailman.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's your mailman. And she's saying as a. As the opposite of a hatter. Like a. A shoe sale salesman?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

She's a sane as.

[Signy Gadetto]

This is the same salesman.

[Scott Aukerman]

Say that three times fast.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I'm sorry. So is this Yalls first date, then? Adjacent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, get him married, man. She's rapping on the window right now.

[Signy Gadetto]

Get him.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You're ruining the sound.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I saw her, by the way, flipping around the house.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, how'd she do it?

[Scott Aukerman]

She's been walking around the house like she does on those mountains.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, I don't know. She's. What I told her, I said, you comments? She said, I'll be comfortable out here.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I'll be comfortable out here.

[Scott Aukerman]

If someone were to say that to me, I would say, that's all I need to know. I would just go right inside the house.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, Jason, do you vote?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Do I vote? Oh, yeah. I vote all the time. And will you be voted for hunk down in Texas?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, here's the thing. I don't live down there, but I.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're a Canadian as well?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm a Canadian, but that's. Who cares? Like you vote anywhere.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can bust us in, right?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Bust me in? Can I?

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you know some dead people on the rolls that maybe we could say we are?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, we know plenty of dead people. We've made them. So what?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Real quick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on. No, real quick.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Even quicker. Go ahead, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who have you killed? I mean, I know we know his name, right? Spink.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, you're so negative. Who are you thrilled?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Well, I thrilled a bachelor party about two weeks ago. But they never saw someone spin on their head and do the splits naked.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

They haven't seen.

[Signy Gadetto]

Men are not living these days.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Not everyone's seen that.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I looked like a fan.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

An only fan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that what only fans is about? Is women doing that?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It started as that. It was only women doing propellers.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You heard of a ceiling fan? Well, this is a floor fan. I. I do a headstand, then spin around naked.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, Only fans got really lax on their.

[Scott Aukerman]

On the requirements. It used to be women who would do that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And now it's any type of man, woman, dog. They got dogs on there without.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, there's nothing in the rulebook against it.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

O. Jason misses the days where only fans was the camera.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I remember when it was pure.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Jason wants his dollar to go farther.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

He wants something else to go farther, too.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I'm only seeing a woman painting her nails. I paid $5 for this. Show me your home.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

$5? That's good times.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

A thousand adjacent. You pay for only fans?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I've been paying for only fans since the day it started.

[Scott Aukerman]

Really? Really. You're an early adopter.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Well, because I'm an independent creator as well.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I see. So supporting the arts.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

But it's nice that the arts in.

[Scott Aukerman]

This case is pornographic.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, right.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Now, let me ask you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Before I met my beautiful wife, can.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You put it on her business card? Because it's for education.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Put on. Yeah, of course.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pay for it with a not, not actual business cards that you would inscribe something on my business.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, my business credit card.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly.

[Signy Gadetto]

Where I could. I could go on, make a bunch of fans and tase myself and then they would pay me money.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I think this is, I think so.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, this might. Honestly, Signe, this might be a better avenue to get yourself money because just ripping off podcasters. Unless you're going to go to those smartless guys and really just some of the seediest characters you'll ever meet with their, with their, their high APR credit card scams that they got going on.

[Signy Gadetto]

I don't know, I, I think maybe I'd rather shake my titties and yeah, taste myself a little bit instead of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Having to go hang out with. With the three of them. Just shake your titty.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You can actually do almost anything on only fans, which I know adjacent's pissed about, but he's pissed about the whole.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Dog thing and I'm just pissed. I just am pissed about, about this marriage. I kind of.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you seem to not like her. You don't even invite her in. Invite her in.

[Signy Gadetto]

Do you want to get out of it? Because I think in between the four of us here, we five. Sorry, we could. We have a bunch of guns. We got one taser, as I've already mentioned.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Okay, here's the thing. I like.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I got two guns in my purse right now. Honey, that's.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

So can you make. Are you guys good at making things look like accidents? That's all. I don't want to get too detailed, but I want to know that you have no army idea. All right, I'll invite her in. But here's the thing. I, I. The reason I was embarrassed about this. She doesn't talk. She knows how to. She just doesn't talk.

[Scott Aukerman]

She just doesn't talk.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

So we could have her in.

[Signy Gadetto]

She said anything to you ever?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, but quietly.

[Signy Gadetto]

Okay.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's a lot of whispering.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's invite her in.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You're embarrassed cuz she doesn't talk.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Y.

[Scott Aukerman]

Makes sense to me.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You never will. Hold out a second.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is a guy thing.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's a guy thing and it's. You've never married someone and then. Go on. This person doesn't talk. I gotta be with this person. They know how to talk, but they don't talk. Yeah, this is gonna suck for the next, I don't know, 80 years.

[Scott Aukerman]

You wait. How old are you right now?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Me? I'm 40.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. I don't know. You're gonna make it exactly. To 120. But who knows modern medicine? Who knows Jason?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You should just let her loose. Someone's gonna like that she doesn't talk. You're not a good partner.

[Signy Gadetto]

Go.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Go off.

[Scott Aukerman]

Actually, I know a lot of husbands who would switch places with you, if you know what I mean.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Not me. I want someone.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You're talking about Hank. You are dead wrong. He left that. I dibber d all the way. I never shut the up around Hank.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Do you see him much? No, not around each other much.

[Signy Gadetto]

You ever wonder if Hank is partaking with his friends?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it like if Hank. Well, what did you call yourselves? Hunting wild wives? If it's like the opposite of that.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You know, hunting hubs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, what's the opposite of hunting?

[Signy Gadetto]

Like foraging.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Peaceful. Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Foraging frats.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, no. Gathering. Gathering guys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, Gathering guys. Thank you. We finally got it.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Now he has a crew of gathering guys, but they're also above board. They're pastors, they're sheriffs, they're doctors. These are all people that have never done anything wrong in their life historically.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, but you haven't gone along on any of these trips that they go on?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Well, no, no, no. And he comes back and his boxers are soaking.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

With what, though?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I don't know with what. I taste it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hunting potion or gathering potion, maybe?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, I think it's insulted gathering potion that. You might be right. You might be on to something.

[Signy Gadetto]

Is that a gathering potion is the sort of thing they drink before they gather. It's like a energy fuel, Something like that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. It can be easy to spill because they. I know the containers it comes in right now.

[Signy Gadetto]

So excited. And your hands start shaking.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Funniest thing. His pants are stretched out to oblivion. I'm not even joking.

[Scott Aukerman]

He like parachute pants, like MC Hammer kind of thing or.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Well, he goes with just slim khakis. And he comes back, and it's almost like a. Like a different maternity wear down there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, are they like Tommy jeans? What? Exactly.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I just want. I want to ask an inappropriate question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go ahead.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Is that allowed?

[Scott Aukerman]

This is allowed. Anything goes here on comedy. Bang Bang week is.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'll put it in a fun way. Is Hank hung?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's. Thank you for clarifying.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, because I didn't want to get those. Oh, he's hung like a light switch. Oh, God.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

No, I don't. I don't jerk around about.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Is that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is that a lyric from Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer? Like a light switch.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Washington.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah. Remember he. Rudolph had the red nose, and he was hung like a Light switch.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, what were you going to say about Hank?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I was going to say it's all different sizes depending on the season.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, why now? What now? I've heard about this. Some guys are doing seasonal effective penis size.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes, in the summer it's long and strong, but in the winter it's tiny and shriveled like a raisin.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's the lyric from Rudolph the Red Nose. Right.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And that's why they. There's that line. They were flying through the air during the race raising days of December, Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

But I got him one of those red lights for the winter.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You said that like it was on his nose.

[Signy Gadetto]

Does he. Yeah. Does he wear it on his nose?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

No, it's a red light. Is what you get for seasonal affective disorder. So you can see the sun and feel the rain.

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh, the happy light.

[Scott Aukerman]

So this lengthens his member during the winter years.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

That's the winter months. During the winter years he'll get that right down there and it won't feel as bad. But we're barely intimate.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm so sorry. I mean, you know, you're out there with your hunting wives though, and he's with the gathering guys.

[Signy Gadetto]

Yeah.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Listen, we're happy, we're wealthy and we're healthy. What else matters in Texas?

[Signy Gadetto]

You have kids.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

We have kids too.

[Signy Gadetto]

Well, then you did your.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You did your job. We have two. Neither from either of us. They just started showed up one day.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's what I got going on.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, really?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

You need some. If you need any more or if you want us to take them. We got too many, we won't even notice.

[Signy Gadetto]

Doesn't really matter how you get them.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

One showed up, he's in his late 40s, but we don't say a damn thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I mean, look, you know, families these days are all kinds of weird. You know what I mean? You. You got families are made out of. Sometimes it's two. Two fathers. You have a basket case situation in a 40 year old man who's pretending to be your son. You know, I mean, it's equivalent.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Can look like anything. Families can be two women and families can be a little. Got a little mucusy guy that lives in a bastion.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. And a strange rando who just showed up in your house one day.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Is the mucus co coming from inside like bleeding out of him or is he dipped in mucus?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It's bleeding out of him.

[Scott Aukerman]

So it's not a dipping Sauce that you ordered.

[Signy Gadetto]

It's pus.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It is pus. That's what I thought I was smelling.

[Signy Gadetto]

It's.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It's pus that sort of seeping out of him because he does not have that outer skin layer.

[Scott Aukerman]

I see. So it's all like under dermis, not epidermis.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes, it's all to use the word. Yeah, but it's very under dermatological thermos.

[Signy Gadetto]

That's actually quite tasty. Speaking of dipping sauce.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you. You've been trying some of the pus a little bit.

[Signy Gadetto]

I mean, you know, trying to think what's mink?

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry I haven't written it down. I don't know why you keep looking at.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Well, you can't forget. Well, I knew it. Sounds like my name is written down right there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, look, guys, we can sit here, talk about what's written down, what's not written down, but we can all agree that we're running out of time. Right?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Let's turn off the mics and talk about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you know what? I wouldn't mind, but unfortunately we are running out of time. We only have time for one final feature on the show that is of course a little something called plugs. You're a movie star, a TV star, a stand up. No. Okay, fine, you just do a lot of podcasts, but that's okay. Here we're in the bang bang sphere.

[Signy Gadetto]

If your B was a hidden or.

[Scott Aukerman]

Switch swing in a miss, you can.

[Signy Gadetto]

Always take some this. Oh, if you were playing second fiddle. We don't open this bag just a little. We open it wide to see what's inside the blood.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gorgeous. That was the un. Oh, sorry to interrupt you. That was the ungrateful plug by Rising Todd. Thank you so much to Rising Todd. If you want to hear your plug theme on this show, head over to cbb world.com plugs there you will find everything you need to upload your own songs or do remixes of our songs. And thank you to Rising Todd for that. Guys, what do we plug into? Jason Manzukas. What do you plug in this week, Scott?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Watch my show, of course on TV Grill the Zooks on YouTube. But I do want to say that the Sloppy Boys are going out too tour.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. The Slappy Boys are the fake comedy.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Band that they are the musical rock band. They've got a podcast. It's three fun guys. The shows are going.

[Scott Aukerman]

Three guys pretending to be musicians go out there.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

If you could keep the comments down. You're kind of busting up what I'm sort Of doing here. And this is a. Yeah, the reason I'm here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Well, I thought the reason you were here is maybe to talk about this new Spider man movie, but. All right, go ahead.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I forgot about that. I gotta write that stuff down. Oh, go see the Sloppy Boys. They're gonna be on tour. Tour pretty much all through October and November. I could name up, let's say, including Halloween. I'm just check the dates here. No, we will be at home in our beds. Halloween. Oh, so they will be.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You're touring this fall.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

This fall.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Okay. That's when a penis is sort of like half mass.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah. Oh, we shouldn't. They shouldn't have any problems with their penises getting in the way of the drum kit or anything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Oh, good. Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

So, yeah, go check them out. See Mike Hanford, too. He's gonna be touring some in September. He'll be doing a couple shows.

[Scott Aukerman]

Where do people get information about these occurrences?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Thank you. Scott, you're gonna check out the Sloppy Boys. Go to their Instagram page. It's all linked up there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Why not?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Why not? It's easy. But check us out. It's gonna be fun as fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

And then Mike Hanford, this comedian, he's doing shows.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Stand up comedian. He's doing a show in Brooklyn and Bethlehem, Penn. And then he's going down to Atlanta for the first time ever.

[Scott Aukerman]

For the first time. That's right.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

He's doing an hour stand up. And I gotta say, us. I caught it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's a great show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

People don't know what he's got, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

They don't know what he's got. I've only seen him 5 minutes. 10 minutes, 15 minutes. I think he opened for us on the last Comedy Bang Bang tour.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

That's what he's doing back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And now it's a full hour of that.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

It's grown to a full hour.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I love this.

[Signy Gadetto]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. You love it, Signy, what are you plugging here?

[Signy Gadetto]

Well, God. God damn. I just hope y' all go out there and buy a bag of Gardettos, because it really saved my ass.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've never even heard of them, but I will try to buy them if I can find. Is it an east coast product?

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It might be an east coast thing, because I could not believe y' all never heard about Gados. Gardettos is a poor man's checks mix. Sorry.

[Signy Gadetto]

Whoa. I would, I would. It's got an Italian, like name. I would venture to say it's actually the expansive person's Check mix.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

It's got too much spice in it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Too much. How much spice is too much for you? I mean, it's. It's a rye cracker of some sort.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I mean is mix. It's literally Chex mix, but spicier.

[Signy Gadetto]

It's the refined person's checks mix. It's got a. It packs little punch. It's true. And you can buy just the right crackers. And I. I would be happy if you bought just the right crackers.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Can I come clean with some? When you said gattos before, I said some type of green potato. I really had never heard of it before.

[Signy Gadetto]

Really?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

And it was important for me to say that.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

You never heard of gardettos.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I've never heard of gardetto before.

[Signy Gadetto]

You eat gardettas. It makes your booty bigger. Everybody knows that. You never tried to have a bigger booty?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I must ahead of you.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I was gonna say. You got a dump truck?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm getting big.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have a shelf back there.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I'm getting big.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Okay. Let me just say Jason's got cake.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Jason got a cake and he was trying to put it on his only fans, but I don't have a camera bringing it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That is an Oakland booty that's encroaching into San Francisco, my friend. There wasn't a couple. But anything else you're plugging, you can.

[Signy Gadetto]

You can catch Ellie woods on Instagram. Ellie Woods, 55. Maybe she is currently a peeing appearing. She's currently appearing where? She's currently peeing in the bathroom, but she's currently appearing as Beatrice and Much Ado About Nothing in Theatrical Botanicum. She's not doing it all the time. She's the understudy. It's very cool.

[Scott Aukerman]

That sounds amazing. And what's your name? Tinky.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Now I need y' all to register to vote.

[Scott Aukerman]

In Texas.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

In Texas for my husband, Hank Clydel.

[Scott Aukerman]

These are all names, you know, I. These are all names that intimately acquainted with. And you. You say them all the time.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Listen, I have a memory like an ant. It's actually a problem. Problem. Because I think my partner. But my other partner, his memory is insane.

[Signy Gadetto]

Are you talking about.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I'm talking about Neil Campbell. You got a memory like that's actually disturbing. Which. Now that reminds me of the plug. I want to plug.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Digman on Comedy Central.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Now that's season two.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Season two. Every Wednesday at.

[Scott Aukerman]

Even when south park isn't on.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

When they take a week off.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

For some weird reason.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

It still will be on.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yes.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

They've been. They power through. They. They got their together. That's the thing, right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

So it's on Comedy Central every Wednesday at 7:30. And that was my plug for him.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I appreciate you seating your plugs over to this guy, Neil Campbell.

[Signy Gadetto]

I thought you were talking about the tanky and glicky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Schminck. Schminck, I believe. Yeah. What's going on, Schminck? Anything to plug.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Schminck wants you to watch the Lost goal Teresa's awards. They're on Peacock now.

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh, shmink.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

They were fun to work on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, Schminck go off. Go off. Schmid go off shrink.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Schminck loves Bravo. All those bitches in Salt Lake City.

[Signy Gadetto]

Wait, I listen to that part. Podcast. SHM loves Bravo.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

I love that podcast. There was a lost culturistas culture award show, and that is on Peacock now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, cool up. Watched it and somehow it keeps taping it over and over and over. I think they air it five times a day or something. And so there will be.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Hey, do riders get residuals from cable?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Okay, Hank, you better win the election.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, I want to plug. Hey, go over to CBB World. I mentioned it before. There we have the entire archive of comedy Bang bang. Every single episode ad free. Every single live episode we've ever done, all ad free. Plus, if you sign up for the Maximus tier, we have other shows like CBB Presents, where people from this show, not you adjacent Manzoukas, get their own shows.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I haven't been listening for the last five.

[Scott Aukerman]

And. And we also have Scott hasn't Seen, where I watch movies that I haven't seen before. We're in the middle of Sprague hasn't seen month. And we also have Collegetown, the neighborhood. Listen, so much going on over there, and it's relatively inexpensive. A fan wanted me to mention because he'd been hearing about it for three years and thought it must have thought he had to be Croesus or something in order to be able to afford it. And then went on the actual page was like, it's only $5. What am I doing?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, that's probably too expensive for me. I won't even take the time time to punch in the letters.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, well, in any case, head over there to CBB World. All right, let's close up the old plug bag.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, we all have bags. In these bags are lots of plugs. We need these bags. It's time to open. Open up the bl b, you got 20, 25. Because it's not time to close it up just yet.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not time to close it up just yet. Open the flat back with me, dude. Open the flat back with me. Dud.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Please don't play.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. If you're wondering, we require these to be under a minute. That was 55 seconds. I think we got to start being.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Was that mega deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it might be. Actually. No, it was. We all have Bags by William Hickman. Thank you so much to William Hickman. And, guys, speaking of, thank you, I want to thank you for being on the show with Jason Manzu. Lucas, so wonderful to see you. Say hello to Jason for us.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

I will. When I see him next. When he's pulling out of his garage. That's usually when I see him. We have our conversations. Hey, wait a minute.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you pulling in while he's pulling out?

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

No, I'm just hanging in the front.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hanging with Zoox.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Hanging with Zooks. Yeah, in the front.

[Scott Aukerman]

And I want to thank you, Signy.

[Signy Gadetto]

Oh, thank you. And I apologize.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no problem.

[Signy Gadetto]

I'm sorry. I came in hot. I brought my taser out. I tease you a couple. It was silly. It was silly. I was dead desperate.

[Scott Aukerman]

If I was mad at every single guest who wanted to rob me starting.

[Signy Gadetto]

Off, I only have, like, $5 million left.

[Scott Aukerman]

In any case, good luck to you. Hope you do well. And Tinky. Tinky and Schminck.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Oh, honey, we've had a wonderful time. Even though we might not be getting your vote, we've just had a fantastic time. So Schminck and I are gonna get on out of here. That was me putting him back in my back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, he's on your back again.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Yep. He's connected to my back again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Martin always means it's connected. It's a suction.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a suction kind of thing.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

That's a. That's the way the mucus sounds when he just settles back into his back.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Yeah, I'm wondering if we have. We've been talking about Schmig the whole time. We haven't heard.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Did he just say goodbye at least?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Tinky Clydesdale]

Thank you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Oh, he sounds weird. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know. I don't know. He has a voice for podcasting.

[Signy Gadetto]

Looks like he sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, thanks, Schminck. Great to see you.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Bye, Schminck.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. And thanks to all of you for listening. We'll see you next week. Thanks.

[Adjacent Manzoukas]

Bye.

[Scott Aukerman]

Adam Pally here, and I'm John Gabris. We're a couple actors and best friends who you may know as the host of the TV show 101 Places to Party before you die. We now we're bringing you a comedic look at health and wellness with our new show, Staying Alive. We'll have guests like our friend actor Jerry O', Connell, ketamine therapist Dr. Stephen Radowitz, Paul Scheer, Ego Wodom, Gillian Bell, Dr. Dolittle. Staying alive with John Gabriz and Adam Pali is out right now. Get them a week early and ad free with Sirius XM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can set up chores, automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications, Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely, and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place, sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast. Summer's heating up and so is the action with chumba casino and 2311 RA racing. Whether you're trackside with Bubba, Riley and Tyler or cooling off at home, the fun never stops at Chumba Casino, the online social casino packed with free to play games like slots, blackjack and more. Jump into [e-mail] and score your free welcome bonus 2 million free gold coins and 2 free sweeps coins. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law. CTNC is 21 + sponsored by Chumba Casino.