Wayne Brady, Lily Sullivan, Jacob Wysocki

Summary

Comedy Bang Bang: The Podcast – Episode Featuring Wayne Brady, Lily Sullivan, and Jacob Wysocki
Release Date: April 21, 2025

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Introduction

In this vibrant episode of Comedy Bang Bang, host Scott Aukerman welcomes the multi-talented Wayne Brady, alongside special appearances by Lily Sullivan and Jacob Wysocki. The episode seamlessly blends insightful discussions about Wayne's illustrious career and his innovative podcast with the show's signature comedic flair, featuring eccentric characters and spontaneous improv segments.

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Guest Spotlight: Wayne Brady

Career Highlights and Current Projects

Wayne Brady opens up about his extensive career in comedy, television, and theater. As a celebrated performer known for his versatility, he shares insights into his role as a host on "Let's Make a Deal" and his ongoing commitment to improv through his show "Whose Line Is It Anyway?".

[07:09] Wayne Brady: "I'm a five-time Emmy award winner, and my talk show also won, sharing the glory with my producers."

Wayne delves into his passion for teaching, revealing his role as an adjunct professor at USC, where he instructs courses like "Improvisation for Camera". He emphasizes the importance of improvisation not just as a performance tool but as a means to enhance real-life conversations and relationships.

[05:35] Wayne Brady: "I teach improvisation as an audition tool, helping actors free themselves up before stepping into a scene."

The "What If" Podcast

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Wayne's podcast, "What If", co-hosted with Jonathan Mangum. He explains the concept, which marries traditional interview formats with improvisational performance, creating a unique blend of conversation and spontaneous comedy.

[26:11] Wayne Brady: "We take the conversation from a talk show and blow it out into a performance piece, keeping it playful and fun."

Wayne highlights memorable moments from the podcast, such as unexpected song performances and character improvisations, which showcase his and his co-host's improvisational prowess.

[27:16] Wayne Brady: "One of my best times on the podcast was when Colton Dunn spontaneously created a thug rap song about his name. It was pure improvisational magic."

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Insights into Improvisation and Teaching Philosophy

Wayne shares his teaching philosophy, focusing on the importance of being present and creating rich, detailed backstories even before a script begins. He criticizes the tendency of actors to end performances abruptly once lines are delivered, advocating for continued engagement to enhance the authenticity of their performances.

[05:45] Wayne Brady: "I hate seeing actors just go 'The script is over,' and then they turn off the camera. I teach them to keep the scene alive, even on camera."

He discusses the parallels between stage performances and his experiences in high-pressure television and film environments, underscoring the consistent need for creativity and adaptability.

[09:01] Wayne Brady: "Broadway is just like doing your junior or senior class play, except it's Broadway with a larger scope and more professionalism."

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Achievements and Future Aspirations

Wayne reflects on his achievements, including his Emmy awards and long-running shows. He expresses his desire to expand his creative endeavors, such as writing for comic books and further developing his podcast.

[20:08] Wayne Brady: "A dream role I've never done would be playing Applegate in 'Damn Yankees.'"

He also touches upon his passion for live performances, comparing the exhilaration of on-stage improvisation to the demands and rewards of television work.

[34:47] Scott Aukerman: "Doing live shows is often more fun and fulfilling than being on TV."

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Eccentric Segments: Peloton Instructor and Bugs Bunny

In keeping with Comedy Bang Bang's trademark blend of humor and unpredictability, the episode features playful, fictional segments with a Peloton Instructor named Krendel and the animated character Bugs Bunny. These segments introduce absurd scenarios and comedic interactions, adding layers of entertainment and showcasing the show's creative versatility.

Peloton Instructor Segment

Krendel leads an exaggerated and humorous Peloton workout, intertwining absurd personal anecdotes and improvised humor with the host and Wayne. This segment exemplifies the show's improvisational spirit, blending fitness with comedy.

[44:35] Krendel: "I have had some stomach issues all year long. I have been having diarrhea multiple times a day."

Bugs Bunny Segment

The inclusion of Bugs Bunny brings a nostalgic and surreal element to the episode. Through playful banter and outlandish scenarios, Bugs interacts with Scott and Wayne, further elevating the comedic experience.

[72:13] Bugs Bunny: "What's up, Scott? How we doing today?"

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Notable Quotes

• Wayne Brady:

  "[02:00] Wayne Brady: Maybe I would be turned on."
  Discussing the potential annoyance of repetitive catchphrases on the show.

• Scott Aukerman:

  "[05:12] Scott Aukerman: Oh, okay."
  Responding to Wayne's humorous admission of his family's obsession with killing fowls.

• Wayne Brady:

  "[16:10] Wayne Brady: Who? Patti LuPone. She Broadway diva legend extraordinaire."
  Highlighting his admiration for Broadway talents.

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Conclusion

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang masterfully balances heartfelt discussions about Wayne Brady's career and creative projects with the show's signature humor and improvisational antics. From deep dives into improvisation techniques to whimsical segments with fictional characters, the episode offers a rich and engaging experience for both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

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Key Takeaways

• Wayne Brady's Multifaceted Career: His roles in television, theater, and as an educator highlight his versatility and commitment to the craft of improvisation.

• Innovative Podcasting: "What If" stands out as a unique blend of interview and improv, setting a new standard for conversational comedy.

• Commitment to Fun in Creativity: Both Wayne and Scott emphasize the importance of enjoying the creative process, ensuring that the magic of improvisation remains at the forefront.

• Signature Comedy Bang Bang Elements: The inclusion of eccentric characters and spontaneous segments exemplifies the show's ability to blend structured interviews with unbridled comedy.

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Further Listening

For those intrigued by Wayne Brady's insights and the innovative format of "What If," tuning into his podcast is highly recommended. Additionally, exploring past episodes of Comedy Bang Bang can provide a broader perspective on the show's unique blend of comedy and celebrity interactions.

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Note: The timestamps referenced in notable quotes correspond to the provided transcript and illustrate specific moments within the episode.

Transcript

[Scott Aukerman]

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[Krendel]

Tired of listening to the same old playlists or podcasts over and over? Maybe it's time to mix things up. Try something new. Hit, explore. Avoid the blah and the boring. Before you even put your headphones in. Add some fun in the mix. Say yabba dabba doo to a bowl of pebble cereal and enjoy by the spoonful fruity and cocoa pebble cereal. Less blah, more yabba dabba doo. Head to your nearest grocery store to buy pebble cereal today. The Flintstones and all related characters and elements copyright and trademark Hannibal era.

[Scott Aukerman]

Some like it hot, some like it cold. I like it stuff stinky and covered in mold. Welcome to Comedy Bang Bang. Thank you to Pugsley's Chicken for that catchphrase submission. I don't know if that one's gonna be the one. I don't know. Some like it hot, some like a cold tie. Like it's stinky and covered in mold. I don't know. That could be the thing we say every single episode.

[Wayne Brady]

That's hot. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not bad, right? If you heard that. If every single week. Would you be annoyed by it after week one?

[Wayne Brady]

Maybe I would be turned on.

[Scott Aukerman]

You would be. Really? We're going to this. I want to segue into a what turns you on Podcast, by the way. We're going to get very deep into it. Thank you to Pugsley's Chicken. I'm sorry, that one's not going to stick. But welcome to Comedy Bang Bang for another week. My name is Scott Aukerman. We have an exceptional lineup for the show today. Coming up a little later, we have a peloton instructor and we also have America's favorite rabbit. America. I wonder if that's just the lower 48, because I would imagine in Hawaii or Alaska they might have different tastes on rabbits. Who's your favorite rabbit? If you don't mind me asking. And I'll introduce you in a second.

[Wayne Brady]

My favorite rabbit. No one's asked me that before.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ever.

[Wayne Brady]

No one's asked me that before.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's impossible.

[Wayne Brady]

No, no. That's never Come up in conversation. I've been asked about my favorite fowl, but never my favorite rabbit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, two part question. What's your favorite rabbit and what foul.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, I. I hate foul. I don't. I have a favorite. My family, we. We are foul killers.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you really? You come from a long line of foul killers.

[Wayne Brady]

Deep family grudge. It's. We, we are kind of like the vampire killers of the south, except it's foul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is this like the Hatfield in the McCoys? A foul did something to your family, goes back to.

[Wayne Brady]

It's a whole thing. Frederick Douglass, the White House, even Lincoln, foul.

[Scott Aukerman]

This goes all the way to the top.

[Wayne Brady]

Ruined talks between our people. Then the secret society have been assigned. Trained as a kid, killed fouls from here to Argentina.

[Scott Aukerman]

How many of you killed in your.

[Wayne Brady]

3086.

[Scott Aukerman]

3086.

[Wayne Brady]

And I remember every face. Every single face.

[Scott Aukerman]

So if you killed one a day, that's plus vitamins. That's probably about 10 years of killing fowls.

[Wayne Brady]

But I just stopped. I just stopped because. Because between my busy schedule, my shooting schedule.

[Scott Aukerman]

So your busy schedule and your shooting schedule are two different things.

[Wayne Brady]

Two different things. Two different things.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you're very busy when you're not shooting television.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, yeah. I'm always tired.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you really?

[Wayne Brady]

I'm always tired.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've. By the way, for the listener, this is a podcast. You can't see what's happening. Our guest has been yawning in between every word, which is tough to do.

[Wayne Brady]

So shout out to your editors that the fact that they've been able to assemble because really, it sounds like that. So nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

We just gave everyone a little taste of what it actually sounds like.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. Behind the curtain.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Well, this is an incredible story. I don't think anyone's ever gotten this out of you. This is an excuse interview.

[Wayne Brady]

It's because I'm so tired I let the truth slip.

[Scott Aukerman]

I understand. So get you more early. This is maybe the earliest we've ever done a show, by the way.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow. Yeah. Because I was wondering when I was asked to do it and the time came across, he said, wow, these guys are going to do it at 9:00. That's really sweet.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe 9:00 was a request from your team because.

[Wayne Brady]

Well, well, well. Yes. And now I realize. So I thank you so much because I thought, oh, they're doing it at nine, but. But I realize that you're doing it for me because when I leave here, when I'm not killing foul and also rabbits, but I'LL go into that later.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay. We'll hear about that on Mondays. As of right now, I'm an adjunct professor at. @ USC, so I'm a LE. So. Because I just need something else during the week to do.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Well, you.

[Wayne Brady]

I just need one more thing to make me tired.

[Scott Aukerman]

What is your field? And I'll introduce you in a second. What is your field that you're lecturing on, if you don't mind me asking?

[Wayne Brady]

The class is called Improvisation for Camera. But what I really do in the class is. Well, I teach killing a foul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? So this is a secret kind of thing? Oh, yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

It's like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but besides that. Yeah, it's acting for its improvisation for camera. And also I teach straight acting in it, but also using improvisation as an audition tool. Using it to free themselves up pre audition. Not to get boring actory stuff, but to give pre life to scenes. Teaching them that when you get a script that there's gotta be something before. Even though this is a written script that came out of somebody else's mind. Your job as the actor, if you're using play fun, just play. Come up with something. Don't just start at that point because it's not as rich as if you're able to. Oh, I'll make up that this thing happened. Get into the script and then. Then what? What I also hate seeing from tapes from other actors is when the script is over, just go. And then Jeremy left and they go, okay, I'm just finished. And they click over and they turn off the camera. They're done. Like, no. So I teach them to do all that on camera.

[Scott Aukerman]

And how often are you watching tapes from other actors?

[Wayne Brady]

Actually, more. More than not, because I also produce shows. So I'm seeing people do. Do things and half the time like, oh, don't do that. That's gonna lose you the job.

[Scott Aukerman]

I like. You're getting in there early with America's bright stars of tomorrow.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. Cause if one of them hits it, I wanna be able to call on a favor. It's like, hey, man, remember me as I'm at their red carpet. Got. Got a 40 in a brown paper bag because I've fallen off. And. And, hey, man, it's me. Can I get in that next movie? And then they have to ignore me.

[Bugs Bunny]

Or.

[Wayne Brady]

Or they go, hey, it's so good to see you. And they pat my hand and walk on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that's. I think that's what would probably happen, especially with the 40 in your head.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's gonna happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's kind of the dream, though. You know what I mean? If, like, you could get rid of everything in your life and just have a 40 in your hand in a paper bag.

[Wayne Brady]

Burn bright, drink brown. That is. That's your new slogan?

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, we hit upon comedy Bang Bang, we care last week, okay? But burn bright, drink brown. I think that Comedy Bang Bang.

[Wayne Brady]

Burn bright, drink brown. And it's got to be a decent brown at the very, very end.

[Scott Aukerman]

A tiny key change down one half step.

[Wayne Brady]

Yep.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I also was at USC talking to the Chill. Probably the same kids, about a month ago or so, I believe.

[Wayne Brady]

Were you there for their sketch fest.

[Scott Aukerman]

Or whatever they call it? Yes.

[Wayne Brady]

Fracas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Frac. Is that what it was called?

[Wayne Brady]

Fracas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fracas. Fracas, yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

How do you pronounce that word? Oh, oh, there was a hullabaloo and a fracas.

[Scott Aukerman]

A big fracas sounds.

[Wayne Brady]

Fracas sounds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. It doesn't sound wrong.

[Wayne Brady]

Fracas. I think it's fracas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Fracas. I think the way you said it originally. But it sounds like it's got to be a broad.

[Wayne Brady]

It's got to be a broad. Fracas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Fracas.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. Yeah. There was a. There was a bunch of mishigas and some fracas ensued. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

But that's one thing we have in common. We have a lot in common. Let's see. You played Billy Flynn in Chicago. So did I. You were on Broadway. I was in high school.

[Wayne Brady]

Hey, you know what? This is what I tell people, like in my class. Here's the big secret for those of you theater kids that you do improvisation and sketch and you did. Broadway is like high school. It's a lot of Broadway is exactly like doing your, your, your junior or senior class play, except it's Broadway, which then, which then is just like doing for, for those of you that have done theme park shows, that you do five shows, shows a day, which is just like doing a cruise ship show. The only difference is scope and scale and professionalism. Maybe a budget and budget, but it's the same muscle sometimes. I shit you not, I'll be on stage. And this sounds like I'm not a very present actor, but I'm very, very present.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you do so many of these shows, you gotta think about something.

[Wayne Brady]

But every blue moon, I'll marvel at how cool it is that I'm doing this thing and go, wow. And then I go, this is, this is just like when I did, did, did Oklahoma in my junior year of high School.

[Scott Aukerman]

Could you play in Oklahoma? Cause I was in Oklahoma, too.

[Wayne Brady]

Shut up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we have very similar clothes.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay, on the count of three, let's say who we were.

[Scott Aukerman]

Ready?

[Wayne Brady]

One, two, three. Judd.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you and I were at odds.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, poor.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, poor Judd is dead.

[Wayne Brady]

Well, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I got permanent ear damage from the gun that Judd or I fired. I can't remember that scene anymore. So long ago.

[Wayne Brady]

I think.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know when Curly goes into Judd's shack, I guess.

[Wayne Brady]

Yes. Right after the song. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

Because it's been forever since I've even seen a movie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gone in a. And makes a hole in the wall or something.

[Wayne Brady]

It's got to be Judd, because I don't think that Curly would shoot the gun. Because I don't remember.

[Bugs Bunny]

I think they.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe they both do or something. And then I seem to remember that when I would shoot, like there was a little thing that they would pop out of the wall. Like I shot a hole in the wall.

[Wayne Brady]

Your school had money.

[Scott Aukerman]

This was professional theater.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, excuse me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I didn't stop at high school. I went on for four more years and then quit.

[Wayne Brady]

Quit early so that you don't end up with the 40 in your hand.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly.

[Wayne Brady]

Burn bright. No, Brown.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have a lot in common. He was in Hamilton. I watched a production of it. Not the one he was in. You know, our guest. I'm going to introduce you now. Let us. Terry. No further. He first burst onto our screens in Whose Line is It Anyway? Which. How many seasons of that did you do?

[Wayne Brady]

Well, we still. You're still doing it as of. Because it's on cw. Went from ABC for years to a reboot on the seed cw. And I want to say, God, I guess we've been doing that for seven, eight years now. That, like, this may be the the final season. I'm. I'm not sure the cw.

[Scott Aukerman]

Cut. Is this an announcement? Exclusive announcement. Is this the final season?

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, no, they've already talked. Talked about it. So I, you know, I don't know. I try to keep up with those things, but I think it's 20 something seasons if you put them all together. Yeah. Of just, you know, how many years.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because it's. It's since the 90s. Right. Is that when it started?

[Wayne Brady]

I think we went on the air in 99. And then it was 10 consecutive seasons.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Wayne Brady]

And then it was on ABC Family for a few years just running and running and running. And then we started the CW version because, you know, for network tv, it's cheap programming.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

And it's funny. As hell. So they get a bargain. So.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, really the only.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank God.

[Scott Aukerman]

The only costs are the 20 mil an episode I assume that you get, right?

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's how much they pay me to improvise. Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

20 million 40s.

[Wayne Brady]

Right. 20 million 40s in my dressing room in a pyramid.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's got, that's a tough pyramid.

[Wayne Brady]

It's got to be a pyramid. So shout out to Gustav the PA that has to do that.

[Scott Aukerman]

But we, we then have seen him in so many things. You a five time Emmy award winner, I believe.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know what? That's on Wikipedia. It's really six, but I don't fight it because it's because my talk show also won. When your show wins, your producer wins. So. So that. Yeah, so it's really six. But I take five because that's also as a performer. So I take. Take that and, and a bunch of nominations from the daytime thing. Which, which is fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they. When you go to the Daytime Emmys, is it in the daytime. Is it. Is it at like 9am and everyone's in a tux?

[Wayne Brady]

Which would be weird, right? That actually would be fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's my experience with the Emmy.

[Wayne Brady]

No, it's, it's, it's, it's late. It's early evening. It's early evening.

[Scott Aukerman]

So they don't give you the evening one to make it seem like late afternoon.

[Wayne Brady]

Early evening because. Well, this is when it was telecast because it's gone through. Through so many. At first it was a big deal the day the daytime Emmys. And then they cut budget and then it wasn't. Then it was. Was ba. Basically you. You could stream it and then if you wanted to. Right. If you wanted to.

[Scott Aukerman]

No one's making you.

[Wayne Brady]

No.

[Scott Aukerman]

No guys to anyone.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. Nobody watch. And so it's a thing now again. So it all depends on when they would do it because if it was going to go live then, then we'd do it at five.

[Scott Aukerman]

Live at five. That's how you can remember this.

[Wayne Brady]

And that's another thing that you could do as your motto. Live at five at five.

[Scott Aukerman]

Burn bright, drink brown. Live at five. We should do a live episode at 5pm every day or 5am I like this early morning thing. I want to go earlier.

[Wayne Brady]

If you do it at 5am I'll come back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, because you have nothing going on the rest of the time.

[Wayne Brady]

Nothing going on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's get to the end of your introduction. You know him as the host of let's Make a Deal. Just A legend in this business. He now has a podcast called what if? That's out now. Quite a few episodes out right now. Please welcome Wayne Brady.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you so much.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome to the One Timers Club, the exclusive One Timers Club.

[Wayne Brady]

It feels good. This. This jacket that you gave me feels really good.

[Scott Aukerman]

It' yeah, it's velvet. It's kind of like the master's jacket in a way.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I never wear the master's jacket. We call it the, the. The.

[Scott Aukerman]

The primary.

[Wayne Brady]

The primary jacket. We no longer call it that. It's the primary jacket.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do they. They gotta change the name of that, don't they? That's like the last thing being called a Masters.

[Wayne Brady]

That's one of the things. Yeah. But I don't see it changing. That's one of those clubs that they're not gonna get off of that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. I guess it is a different usage of the word master than. Because they have a mastery of golf, I guess.

[Wayne Brady]

Right. Which. There are some things that I would fight for that. Though. Those of you that are interested in. In the entomology of words. Yes. I do believe that master bedroom should have been changed because they call it that specifically for that. Changing the Masters tournament. Don't change it because it does mean mastery of something.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly. Maybe they should just change it to the Mastery Tournament and then it would clear everything up.

[Wayne Brady]

Then it sounds like witchcraft.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point. Although Agatha all along was very big on Disney plus, I really enjoyed that. Yes, so did I. You got Patti lupone.

[Wayne Brady]

Who? Patti lupone. She Broadway diva legend extraordinaire. Never worked with Patti lupone. Longtime fan, long time fan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love her.

[Wayne Brady]

Except I do have. I love. I hate when people say, I love this person and then they go, but. So I'll just say, and I love Patti LuPone, period. New thought. It is interesting to me though, when, you know, recently she had that thing of when she. I don't know if you saw her theater was close to the theater where Alicia Keys musical.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Wayne Brady]

Hell's Kitchen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hell's Kitchen, Great show.

[Wayne Brady]

Won all these Tony Awards, beat my show, the Wiz for our Grammy. But that's okay. Cause if you're gonna lose, lose to Alicia Keys.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Wayne Brady]

She had. She took umbrage offense at the fact that Hell's Kitchen's theater was loud. It's. It's hip hop, it's R and B, it's big and boisterous. And she. At her other theater, she got angry. And that's one of the first times I went wow, that is some, that is some mature white lady privilege that you are going to tell a whole.

[Scott Aukerman]

Theater to turn to.

[Wayne Brady]

Turn your music down. Wow. This really is the great white way.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, I was interesting. I was the guy she yelled at in the, in the crowd.

[Wayne Brady]

Shut up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, that was me.

[Wayne Brady]

That actually would make me happy if it really was you singing.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was so embarrassed.

[Wayne Brady]

Hey, Patty. Hey, Patty.

[Scott Aukerman]

Patty.

[Wayne Brady]

What's up, baby? Patty, you. I know you see me. Patty. Patty.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did go see her and Mandy Patinkin's two person show on New Year's Eve. The matinee. Wow. Several years ago, my wife and I went and it was so many old people who were falling asleep and the sound of candy wrappers being opened was.

[Wayne Brady]

So loud and she couldn't get mad at that.

[Scott Aukerman]

She was, I think she was trying to tune all of that out. So she sang Don't Cry for Me Argentina directly at us and looked us in the eye the entire time because we were the only young people paying attention. It was thrilling.

[Wayne Brady]

Which I do say, I say once again, as a die hard theater kid, I love Patti LuPone and I love Mandy Patankin. I got a chance to work with him for a season on this thing on cbs, the Good Fight.

[Scott Aukerman]

You don't say. That's a picture of him right up there.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. So I give props to Broadway royalty.

[Scott Aukerman]

With me right in the background, you can see half of my body.

[Wayne Brady]

Were you doing a show with him?

[Scott Aukerman]

He was in a movie that I wrote and was in.

[Wayne Brady]

Wait a second. What is that?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's the Mr. Show movie. Wayne's going to walk across the room and take a look at it. I'm the police officer and he is playing the Ronnie Dobbs in the Ronny Dobbs musical.

[Wayne Brady]

That is hilarious. The fact that you have Mandy Patankin shirtless.

[Scott Aukerman]

We didn't ask him to be. He offered.

[Wayne Brady]

He showed up like that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. He's like, I woke up like that.

[Bugs Bunny]

This.

[Wayne Brady]

Are you going to wardrobe, Mr. Tanking? No, this is me.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is it.

[Wayne Brady]

This is it.

[Scott Aukerman]

I love that you, you, you are such a theater fan. You still do it all the time, which is great. And who better to do theater than, you know, I mean, if you're not doing theater, who should?

[Wayne Brady]

Well, because it's not even. See, like I'm not even a fan and it's a luxury that it's, it's, it's what I do. It's my, it's. No, no, it's my job. It's a, it's like we show up on set. Did it. That's the other part of my job. I, I do the let's Make a Deal thing or I shoot a sitcom or something, but then I go to do Broadway because that's what I love. That's. It's because I have to make that distinction sometime because there are people that they dibble. Oh, I do some theater when I'm not doing my soap opera. Well, good for you. But this is like, that's my job. Like that, that, that's my dream.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's a, What's a dream role that you've never gotten to do that you would love to do?

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, that's a great question.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much. I've been working on my questions.

[Wayne Brady]

Your questions.

[Scott Aukerman]

I've been doing this for 16 years. I just got good like three weeks ago.

[Wayne Brady]

You know what? Good for you for not giving up and showing up with a 40 in your hand.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know.

[Wayne Brady]

Good for you for not burning out. Good for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Burning bright and drinking brown.

[Wayne Brady]

Come on, man, we care. I'm getting that T shirt. A dream role. Just off the top of my head, I would have loved to have done. Well, as my daughter likes to point out when she listens to the soundtrack of Hairspray. She goes, dad, you would have been so great at Seaweed, but you're too old now. I go, oh, thanks for turning, for letting you know about the passage of time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I think, I mean, I saw To Kill a Mockingbird on Broadway that Aaron Sorkin won and it had like 50 year olds playing the little kids, you know, like you could, you could still do it. It's the magic of theater.

[Wayne Brady]

It's the magic of theater, but not the magic in my knees. I'm not doing those splits now with Sea. Seaweed, so. So that's just one. And I would have loved to have played. Oh, if there's, if there's ever a. I would love to play Applegate in, In Damn Yankees.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's a great show. Jerry Lewis show.

[Wayne Brady]

You saw Jerry Lewis? What was it like? Cause I had a couple friends in the cast.

[Scott Aukerman]

I was thrilled because big fan of Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis and all that. And he just kind of stopped the show.

[Wayne Brady]

Real talent.

[Scott Aukerman]

Stopped the show in the middle of it and did bits for a long time that were sort of non related. Yeah, non related to the thing. I thought it was very funny. And then Patton Oswalt, as a gift to a bunch of us who did a show with him, a stage reading of the Day the clown Cried. He bought Us all tickets to see it again. And then everyone just made fun of it the entire time. And I felt kind of embarrassed because I liked it.

[Wayne Brady]

Don't ever be embarrassed for liking weird theater.

[Scott Aukerman]

Give me a pep talk about that.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. I want to just hug you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you.

[Wayne Brady]

But I need to introduce myself before time traveling, Wayne, because it's odd if this brother just appears out of nowhere and starts hugging you in the middle of a theater with Jerry Lewis.

[Scott Aukerman]

96. I don't know if I would have been aware of you. You yet, but.

[Wayne Brady]

Right. Like, I just would have been a complete stranger to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

Hey. Shh. What are you doing? And then on stage. Yeah. And I disappear again. All those things that once would have just been weird. And maybe I would have thrown you off the rest of your career path.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good point. Yeah. I would have been constantly. Like, time travel exists, I think. And then suddenly I would have. In 99, I would have seen you and Whose line is it Anyway? And I would have been.

[Wayne Brady]

But maybe we would have crossed paths because I feel like we would have crossed paths earlier because before Whose line? I did this thing called Quick wits on NBC with a bunch of folks that I know that we all have in common.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like I met the person you work with, Jonathan, a lot.

[Wayne Brady]

Jonathan. Yeah. We've been together since then.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel like I met him in the 90s and haven't seen him since.

[Wayne Brady]

But So, yeah, I know that we've crossed paths. And then before then, my group, the house full of Honkies, we used to do a show down on. What's the comedy theater that isn't there anymore on IHO or on the Promenade or like, close to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, the. Yeah, I did a lot of shows there.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Second City and ucb that was called. No, no, it was.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think it was a U word.

[Wayne Brady]

It was close to the water.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

And a lot of us used to intermingle in that late 90s. That's where Mr. Show comedy Mishmash did.

[Scott Aukerman]

All of their live shows to get their show.

[Wayne Brady]

Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

I did a bunch of sketch shows there.

[Wayne Brady]

So we really are very close. I feel like we're two.

[Scott Aukerman]

We have a lot in common other than the success part.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. Like, it's quantum entanglement. It's very close. That feel we've been. Boom, boom, boom.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're who I would have been had I made a lot of different choices. But I have that picture of me and Mandy Patinkin. I'll always have that.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, My God, my head hurts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's talk about your podcast, because I've listened to this. It's a big treat. At first, I was like, oh, okay, we have a celebrity podcast. It's probably an interview show. I looked at the guest lineup. You have great guests like Nicole Byer.

[Wayne Brady]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bobby Moynihan, Colton Dunn, a lot of people who have been on this show. And I was like, oh, is this an interview show? But it's actually a little bit different.

[Wayne Brady]

It is a little bit of an interview show. I. I came up with this thing for my class, which. Which I'm not claiming it's. It's genius, but for me, it helps to make things make sense just. Just in life. Improvisation is a conversation, and sometimes I would have to say that to myself when I'm even talking with people in real life because of the way that sometimes my mind works when people are talking and you're having this long conversation, and I've already gone to the end of the conversation, and, like, I'm done with this. I go, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't be finished with it. Actually listen to the rest of the conversation so you can be involved in it. So I go, okay, I'm making up conversation. I have to follow the same rules that I follow on stage with this person in real life, and then that will help me in relationships and blah, blah, blah. So we thought, okay, let's have conversations with people. And out of that conversation, just. Just like we're doing, stuff will come. So as long as. As. And I have people that I'm fans of, so I get a chance to go, oh, hey, I know this about you, and I know that about you. So what about blah, blah, blah, blah? And then we get into the. Well, I know that you went to Chicago for such and such, and you were blah, blah, blah. What. What if you didn't? What else would you have done? Well, maybe I would have been a blah, blah. Great. And then immediately Jonathan and I cut to that scene or how this thing would have happened or how would your life have changed? Or maybe it's just a weird thing that happened to them this morning. So we take the conversation piece of a talk show and we blow it out into the performance piece.

[Scott Aukerman]

So fans of this show, I think, would be very interested in this because you're doing improv scenes based on suggestions, essentially the suggestion being a conversation that you're having with a guest, and then the guest participates. Do they always participate or.

[Wayne Brady]

A lot of time they do, because.

[Scott Aukerman]

Colton and Colton Nicole.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bobby. They obviously have done improv for a long time.

[Wayne Brady]

Colton. We. We had one of the most. One of my best times that I've had on the podcast so far was Colton's song that just came out of nowhere because we're talking about his name. And then all of a sudden, Branson I were piano started playing and we did this. This. This thug, thug rap song about Colton. And he's like, Colton from the streets. This name. Because I'm a bad mother hugger. I be hugging. I'm a hugging. Because I'm hugging into. And we just came. And that's. That's what it is. That's what. And like, just like we're doing the sense of play that comes out of this conversation that all of a sudden it's a song.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Wayne Brady]

It's just so silly, but it's playful and it's fun. But then you get to hear people operating at the top of their abilities. That's the fun for me. I just love seeing people do their thing.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a very fun podcast because, you know, it starts as just kind of background information or I listened to the Bobby Moynihan one. You're talking about the SNL 50th, and then it just segues. The. Your pianist starts playing and then it segues into scenes based on everything you've been talking about. It's really a lot of fun. I was laughing my little butt off.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I have no butt anymore, thanks to you.

[Wayne Brady]

You're welcome.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Wayne Brady]

Butts get you in trouble, so it's just best to not have it.

[Bugs Bunny]

Wouldn't it be great.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not if. If human beings just didn't have butts.

[Wayne Brady]

We're working on that.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Oh, good. Really?

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. You have a grant, some sort of fellowship.

[Wayne Brady]

I just got a grant. And myself and the other scientists.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's what you're really doing. Usc.

[Wayne Brady]

That's my passion. That's my passion to eradicate butts. Because if we get rid of the butts, then a. We wouldn't have to. Do you know how much time we waste using the bathroom from the back?

[Scott Aukerman]

I know. That's the thing.

[Wayne Brady]

I think so much time.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to have all of our excrement through the front. Maybe. What would you suggest? The mouth or the.

[Wayne Brady]

Well, well, I'm just keeping it to one hole.

[Bugs Bunny]

That.

[Wayne Brady]

That if we're able to eliminate the butt and that area and we just peed. And we just peed.

[Scott Aukerman]

We pee out of it and we. It's fine. Isn't it? We. We should be able to squirt some poop out of there.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you. I've been saying this for years, but other scientists laughed at me.

[Scott Aukerman]

I won't laugh at you.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll laugh near you.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

See, next to you.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Around you.

[Wayne Brady]

And I love that with you. And that's the best. That's the best. So look out 2027. No buts. I guarantee you my nanotechnology will be approved at that point.

[Scott Aukerman]

You mentioned theme park, working in theme parks. You had a very fun role in theme parks back before you moved to Los Angeles.

[Wayne Brady]

Even when I was here in Los.

[Scott Aukerman]

Angeles, you did it here at so.

[Wayne Brady]

Many theme parks I've done.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And you were a mischievous character known as Beetlejuice.

[Wayne Brady]

No, I wasn't Beetlejuice.

[Scott Aukerman]

You weren't Beetlejuice?

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

You were in the Beetlejuice show.

[Wayne Brady]

I was in the Beetlejuice. This is for you old school theme park fans. I was in the Beetlejuice rock and roll graveyard review here at Universal Studios Los Angeles and also in Orlando. I played. In the Orlando cast, I was Dracula. And in the LA cast, I was Dracula and Wolfman. And for those of you that go, Wayne, you're high. Let me explain what the show was. It's actually a great concept. And, you know, they're opening up this new park in Orlando right now, Universal is, which I hope they have the show. It's dedicated just to all of the monsters and stuff.

[Bugs Bunny]

Really.

[Scott Aukerman]

I would have loved that when I was a kid.

[Wayne Brady]

That dark universe that they were trying to do, that didn't make it. They've made it with Russell Crowe as Dr. Hyde. Didn't work. But it's a theme park and I hear it's amazing. So here is the concept for. For the show. Beetlejuice pops up from his. His. Well, from wherever Beetlejuice pops up. He's like, you. You. You hear the sound effects. He pops on stage. Hey, everybody, it's me, Beetlejuice. I'm the ghost with the most Google. And he's talking to the audience. He's like, all right, you know what I got back there? I got. I got the Wolf Man. I got the Bride of Frank sign. I got Dracula. I got from. And he's making all these bad puns, monster puns. He's like, all right. So I'm gonna bring him out the. He, he.

[Scott Aukerman]

He.

[Wayne Brady]

He introduces us and we come out in the. In the classic form of the monsters to the Bela Lugosi. You Know Phantom of the Opera with, with the mask and with the organ. And we all come attacking Beetlejuice. He goes, all right, this ain't cool. We have to fix this. On the count of three. Say it with me. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. He knocks us back into this thing called the transmogrifier.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Then when he goes, this curtain of dry ice and lights and the spectacle, you hear sound effects when it stops, what? All of a sudden Dracula goes from his gothic cape into this leather wearing rock and roller.

[Scott Aukerman]

Snm.

[Wayne Brady]

Well there. Yeah, well there is one cast of that. Yeah. But. But it's more. Think, think more glam metal. Sebastian Bach is. Yes, so there's that. Then the Phantom of the Opera becomes like a Jerry Lee Lewis type guy with this lounge lizard with this purple suit on and this per purple mask. Wolfman is transformed into a B boy with this bright colorful top with the fur sticking out and jeans and Adidas. And then he break dances later. The bride of Frankenstein is this like incredibly hot rock chick with tattered dress and like a goth emo look or kind of goth, but very much like the Evanescence, perhaps. Oh, that's a good reference. No, no, but like 70s or a.

[Scott Aukerman]

80S rock with tight Pat Benatar kind of.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you. Yes. And then I'm leaving someone out, but they basically get transformed. So that's what I did. And when I moved out here to Los Angeles, I needed a gig. So when I got out here, I was working at Universal Studios doing that show. I was swinging both parts, five shows a day. But here is the thing. Doing that show, especially at that time, you know, 90 some something. It. It was an equity show at the theme park. So I made great money right, doing that show.

[Scott Aukerman]

Equity is the actors union, by the way, for those of you who don't know.

[Wayne Brady]

Great show, great pay and it was one of the best theme park shows because you really were singing and dancing your ass off. And a lot of my cast members are all on Broadway. Broadway now, because that was the gig that you would do if you were.

[Scott Aukerman]

A singer, dancer, doing the same show on Broadway.

[Wayne Brady]

Wouldn't that be great? Beetlejuice rock. And is that Patti LuPone as the bride of Frankenstein? 80s Pat Benatar, Mandy Patankin as Frankenstein, the green clad rocker who plays the guitar. Is that him?

[Scott Aukerman]

I love you still know so much about that. I mean, how many performances of it did you do? Probably I did a few.

[Wayne Brady]

I did a few years worth tens of thousands and I loved it. I loved doing that show. Yeah, because I was on stage. Yeah, that's on stage. Not, not everyone. If you're out here trying to make it, which is what I try to tell these young, young actors, especially some that I talk talk to now, you know that they, they end up seeing the end result they love. Well, I'm gonna be on TV or I'm gonna be on. It's like, look man, good for you if that happens and your TikTok video gets you a deal. Which is very possible because that's how folks are hired now. But I think I can speak to. We came up in the. In the day when I myself and my group the House Full of Honkies when we moved from Orlando out here, we would do shows. Sometimes there were seven of us in the group where there would be just as many people in the audience. And you do it and you love it because you're actually being funny and you're in front of a crowd and.

[Scott Aukerman]

It'S actually more fun fun than being in TV a lot of times is doing those shows.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, that's.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's the stuff that like you have the dream of, oh, I'm gonna make it and do movies and stuff. And then you get to do movies and they're kind of a pain in the ass and you have to be there all day and it's stop and start. But like doing the actual shows to get the TV stuff is the most.

[Wayne Brady]

Fun stuff and it pays. Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely love TV and film. It's great. But that goes back to in the beginning when I was saying that high school theater and being being on Broadway that did. There's no difference in terms of. It's the scale and scope. But I had so much fun doing those seven per person shows. I had fun doing Beetlejuice when nobody know you knows your name and you get to dress up and be silly. It's all play. Everything that we do right now, it's all play and you should do that. That's why I wanted to do do the what if podcast because I actually get to play and say silly shit and have fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's super fun. How. How is it open ended? Are you doing this just till whenever or is it a season or what are your plans with it?

[Wayne Brady]

I just want to do it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

So I. So I believe it's open ended just in the sense of we just want to do it until a. It's. I want it to be successful, but I just want to have fun. So I'm going To do it, as long as it's fun.

[Scott Aukerman]

Love it. I love the people who get into podcasting because they want to have fun, because that's the only reason, I think, to do it. Like, the people who get into it of, like, oh, my agent said that it's a big opportunity now, or, yeah, maybe the smartest guys. And that's about it.

[Wayne Brady]

Right. It's one of those things, Conan things that, yes, maybe you can blow it up into something else, but you should never get into anything that's not the end result.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do stuff for fun and then maybe something will come out of it.

[Wayne Brady]

Every time, in my experience, every time that I've done something, because I've been told, hey, you know, this is great for your career, you do this thing, blah, blah, blah. Okay? It is the most miserable thing I've ever done in my life, and I want to yank my own head off and go bowling with it. So I'm trying to not do that anymore.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, exactly. I love that. Well, Wayne Brady, the podcast is what.

[Wayne Brady]

If with Jonathan Mankin. I have to say that it's called Wayne Brady's what if with Jonathan.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've. You've known him for 30 some odd years, right?

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. We first started doing improv together in Orlando. Shout out to Sack Theater.

[Scott Aukerman]

I didn't know it was all the way back from Orlando, too. Wow.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. Sac Theater. When. And the seven of us that started that theater, which is still in Orlando right now, still thriving, we came out here and we became the house full of honkies. And Jonathan and I have worked together since we were 19 and 20.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's your co host on let's Make a Deal. A really funny guy. It's a great podcast. Go check it out. We're going to take a break and then we're going to come back, we have a great show. A peloton instructor.

[Wayne Brady]

I can't wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, this is a huge lineup. Shane Brady, peloton instructor, and then America's favorite rabbit.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, that. I. Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I know this is going to be hard for you.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're all. You pulled out your gat and you're polishing it. Right?

[Wayne Brady]

And I'm cleaning it right now. All right, Bessie. All right, Bessie.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you named her?

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Guns are always female. I find that cute.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, it's so sweet. I might just kiss her.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's. Yeah, Be careful with that. Oh, you. You did. Kind of a tongue kiss, too, which is just.

[Wayne Brady]

Don't judge me.

[Bugs Bunny]

No judgment.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just. You. You got to be careful. All right, we're gonna take a break. We're gonna be right back with more Wayne Brady, more comedy.

[Wayne Brady]

Bang.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bang. We'll be right back after this. This show is sponsored by Better Help. You know, therapy. It can feel like a big investment, right? Or just a big, at least outlay of money that you're never gonna get back. But if you do, think about it, like, you know, almost like paying for personal training, right? Like the state of your mind is just as important. Important as your physical health, isn't it? Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per sesh, which adds up fast, depending on how many sessions you do. But with better help, online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per sesh. I'm going to stop saying sesh. Therapy should feel accessible, right? Not like a luxury. Well, with online therapy, you get quality care at a price that makes sense. Your mental health is worth it. And now it's within reach. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It is convenient, too. You can join a session with the click of a button. My dear boy, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus switch therapists at any time. Your wellbeing is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com Bang Bang to get 10% off your first month. Huh? All right, that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Bang Bang. Hey, you out there. Let me ask you a question. Are your kids struggling with homework? Here's a solution, okay? IXL is an affordable online learning program that covers math, language arts, science and social studies with interactive practice problems for kids from Pre K to 12th grade. IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts. Whoa. I gotta get my daughter on this. She's almost ready for it. Come on, ixl. Teach her everything. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now and Comedy Bang Bang listeners. You can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership. This is exclusive to you listeners. No one else gets this. Here's what you do. You sign up [e-mail] Bang Bang. Okay. Ixl.com Bang Bang. You're gonna get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. Hats. We all have to wear them to protect ourselves from the rain, the sun, the elements. I guess Earth and water. No, we. I did water with rain. Who knows what the elements are? Who can even keep them straight but we all agree we have to wear hats. And we have to wear a lot of different hats. Right? When we run an online business especially, we have to wear so many different hats. Just trying to manage your web hosting while juggling a million other tasks. Well, Kinsta doesn't just host WordPress websites. They're sort of like the hat of the Internet. They deliver blazing speed, ironclad security and reliability, just like hats. And just by switching to Kinsta, your website could run up to 200% faster. Much like you when you wear a hat, you run 200% faster. When it comes to security, Kinsta's in a league of their own, Madonna style. They're one of the few WordPress hosting providers who back their promises with multiple enterprise certifications. And when you hit a snag, you're going to talk to real humans 24 7, 365 actual people who get it, not these AI chatbots. Okay? Are you tired of being your own website support team? Take off that hat, switch your hosting to Kinsta and get your first month for free. And don't worry about the move. They'll handle the whole transition for you. No tech expertise required. Just visit kinsta.combang to get started. That's K-I N S T A.com Bang. Comedy Bang. Bang. We're back. Wayne Brady is here in the exclusive One Timers Club. This is a huge club to be in.

[Wayne Brady]

I know. This is pretty cool. So when I come back though, is the club less exclusive?

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, it's worse because if you come back and do more than one episode, the people who have done one episode are your Paul Rudd's, your Ben Stillers, Childish Gambino. They all did one and then got way too successful and never came back. But if you come back and do two, then it gets worse and worse. Then suddenly you're like Adam Scott, who's done like 25.

[Wayne Brady]

That guy. Oh, he's definitely carrying a 40.

[Scott Aukerman]

40 inches. What? If you know what I'm saying, and.

[Wayne Brady]

I think I do.

[Scott Aukerman]

We all know that he has. That's the grip of having one of the biggest dicks in Hollywood. Right?

[Wayne Brady]

But that's cumbersome. 40 inches. How do you even. I don't even know how you would become aroused.

[Scott Aukerman]

Now, famously, he showed his real penis in the movie the Overnight. I don't know if you've ever seen this.

[Wayne Brady]

No. But now I need to go see it just to prove a point.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, we have a wonderful guest coming up here. We first met her, I believe, when we were on Tour. I forget exactly what. What exact city did we see each other in? I don't really remember, but it's wonderful to have her back. Please. She's a peloton instructor. Please welcome Krendel.

[Peloton Instructor]

All right, let's get on those bikes. Going on. Get on those bikes right now, boys. Get those asses up in the air. Get those heads down.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Brought a bike.

[Peloton Instructor]

All right. Get on there. Let's go.

[Wayne Brady]

Come on.

[Peloton Instructor]

We want that cadence up to 85, all right? Okay, 85 cadence. We've got that resistance. Go ahead and turn that up to 135.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. We're going up 135. That's too much.

[Wayne Brady]

Is it possible?

[Scott Aukerman]

I think 60 is about the highest.

[Peloton Instructor]

Okay. Why are you guys here today? I want you to think about that right now. I want you to think about that long and hard. What is your motivation today? Because I am gonna get you absolutely crumped and crammed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crumped.

[Peloton Instructor]

I'm gonna get you absolutely crumpled and crammed up. Oh, we're gonna have you busting and bursting.

[Wayne Brady]

Ooh. Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right. I'm gonna tell you what my motivation is. I'm gonna tell you. I have had some stomach issues all year long. I have been having diarrhea multiple times a day. We're talking 15, 16 times a day. How are you walking to the gastroenterologist, Guess what he said.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, it's he. You have.

[Peloton Instructor]

He quit his practice after he got my shit delivered to him to do a test on my shit.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you were there in the office, why did it need to be delivered? Did you, like, pre send?

[Peloton Instructor]

I had to go home. I had to do the shit test at home. He said if I didn't bring it in, I'd have to put it in my fridge. And I thought, absolutely not. I'm bringing that in today. Brought it in. He quit practicing medicine after he looked at my shit. I'm trying not to take it personally. Let's cool it off. Let's cool it off.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

All right. You can turn that music off. How my boys doing? How you guys doing?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm a little winded, to be honest. I don't think I've ever been winded doing the show.

[Peloton Instructor]

Oh, God. You guys looked so good out there on those bikes. Ass is up.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Let's keep it in our pants here. This is a professional show.

[Wayne Brady]

No.

[Peloton Instructor]

Absolutely no.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm. No. That's why I came here. I came here to meet someone. That's why I came to. That's why I brought my bike, I'm single, and I want to meet someone.

[Peloton Instructor]

That is your motive. That's my motivation. I love that for you, Krendel.

[Scott Aukerman]

Are you available?

[Peloton Instructor]

I am available, but I should let you know, off the top, I am a boy, mom. I am absolutely obsessed with my son, and there is nothing that is going to break that bond.

[Wayne Brady]

I love sons.

[Peloton Instructor]

You do?

[Wayne Brady]

I love being father to many people.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love to hear that. I am absolutely ass up about that.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

We need to crump and cram some more today, don't we?

[Wayne Brady]

Yes, let's crump it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah, yeah. How are we gonna do that?

[Peloton Instructor]

Well, we're probably gonna do another round on those bikes.

[Wayne Brady]

Scott.

[Peloton Instructor]

Oh, my God, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

I do have a bike in the corner. Let me get mine.

[Peloton Instructor]

Get your bike. Get your ass over here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Yeah.

[Peloton Instructor]

Finally. You know, I love to see it. Scott, I have not seen you online in so long. Where have you been?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm sorry. I have a busy schedule now. I'm doing podcasts at 9am Now.

[Peloton Instructor]

I know. I heard. I reached out to your assistant.

[Scott Aukerman]

You did?

[Peloton Instructor]

She said you were recording your first episode at 4am yeah. Then you had another one at about five.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm the Jeffrey Katzenberg in terms of breakfasts to pod me doing podcasts. Does that make sense to anyone who has never worked with Jeffrey Katzenberg before Industry?

[Peloton Instructor]

Absolutely not.

[Scott Aukerman]

He has many breakfasts every morning.

[Peloton Instructor]

And Wayne, where have you been? You had a bike over the pandemic and then the bike went away and I have not seen you since.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm so sorry. I just lost interest. But now I'm back in it. I'm ready to get crumped, cramped, clumped and kinked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. You want to be one of the clumps, I think you were telling me during the break.

[Wayne Brady]

Yes, that's. My aim is. My aim is to take that to Broadway, and I want to be the clumps on Broadway.

[Peloton Instructor]

We are going to clump you all up. Let's go ahead and get on those bikes again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Let's get rid of this seat real quick. All right, I'm ready. Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right. Okay. Do you feel that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, clump the seat. Yeah.

[Peloton Instructor]

Do you feel that?

[Wayne Brady]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, we're not going. We're just sitting down.

[Peloton Instructor]

You should feel that in your ass. Do you feel that seat?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Peloton Instructor]

Do you feel those handlebars?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes, I do. I'm touching them. Is that what you mean?

[Peloton Instructor]

Do they feel hot? I mean, Warren, they should feel scalding hot.

[Wayne Brady]

Scalding hot.

[Peloton Instructor]

Or you are doing something wrong.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I'm doing something wrong because mine are lukewarm at best.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm sweating, I'm sweating. Good.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love hear that from you. God, Wayne, you are a good time.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you.

[Peloton Instructor]

You and I, I can see it working out. But I should let you know I am in a very serious relationship with my son, Braxton.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

We are absolutely head over heels for each other.

[Bugs Bunny]

Wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

So it is very hard for me to think about having another man at home.

[Wayne Brady]

Is that okay? Well, I'll get in where I fit in. And that's just not a T shirt. It's a way of life.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is our new slogan. I'll get in where I fit in.

[Peloton Instructor]

He's only 24 months old, but you know what he said to me the other day? He said, mom, you miss 100 of the shots you don't take.

[Wayne Brady]

That is an inspiration.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very advanced for a 2 year old. Why do you say 24 months instead of just 2?

[Peloton Instructor]

He is 24 months and 23 days.

[Bugs Bunny]

Oh, okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right. And you know what he said to me the other day when I got out of bed?

[Wayne Brady]

What?

[Peloton Instructor]

He said, mom, where have you been? Because the sun doesn't rise unless you rise with it. Come on now, let's ride. Hit that music. Ass is up, faces down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Face down, ass up, feet up.

[Peloton Instructor]

By your hands. Feet up high.

[Wayne Brady]

Feet by my hands.

[Peloton Instructor]

We are riding. We are riding. Your cadence is about 235, your resistance. Go ahead and turn that up to 450.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's too much?

[Wayne Brady]

This is not ergonomically sound like.

[Peloton Instructor]

Are you feeling that burn? Are you feeling that burn?

[Scott Aukerman]

My killing is impossible.

[Peloton Instructor]

Scott, I want you to yell out to me your motivation today. What is your motivation?

[Scott Aukerman]

I want to do a podcast so I can complete my contract.

[Peloton Instructor]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I'm not doing it for the fun or the love like we talked about in the first segment.

[Peloton Instructor]

What are you talking. You want it for the money, Scott? Is that what you're doing?

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm just trying to kind of get to the 20th year and Scott, look at me.

[Peloton Instructor]

Podcasters need to be hot now. Did you know that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I know, I know.

[Peloton Instructor]

Most podcasts are on tv. Why are you not on tv?

[Scott Aukerman]

The call me daddy of it all ruined everything for us.

[Peloton Instructor]

You need to get cameras in here. We need to get you camera ready. Get that. Get those ass up by those hands.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. All my asses are up by my hands.

[Peloton Instructor]

Wayne, what is your motivation?

[Wayne Brady]

To be the one to be the one.

[Peloton Instructor]

The one what?

[Wayne Brady]

I just want to be the one who lives.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love that for you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like the last man on earth.

[Wayne Brady]

I want to be the last person standing. I want to be so healthy that I outlast everyone. I just want everyone gone. I want to be the one here all by myself. I want all extraneous noise gone. I want to be on a bike with my hands by my feet and my ass up, touching the back of my neck when I sneeze. I want to rest the back of my head in the cleft of my cheeks.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love this for you.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you.

[Peloton Instructor]

You want to be like that billionaire who's Gonna live to 150, don't you?

[Wayne Brady]

Well, I want to biohack. I wanna biohack.

[Peloton Instructor]

We are going to biohack your ass off today. And I'm gonna tell you what my motivation is. Can I tell you that right now?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, please.

[Peloton Instructor]

My motivation is my fucking son, Braxton. I love my son Braxton. But you know what else it is?

[Wayne Brady]

What?

[Peloton Instructor]

My health. All right? I went to a guy gynecologist appointment the other day for a yeast infection I've had for 26 years.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

You know what she said to me?

[Wayne Brady]

What?

[Peloton Instructor]

When I was in there, she said, I can't do this anymore. I'm moving to another country. Let's go ahead and ride. Get those asses up, faces down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

Scott, are you sweating?

[Scott Aukerman]

One tiny bead of sweat has appeared on my forehead.

[Peloton Instructor]

What is going on with you? I love to see. Go ahead and have some.

[Scott Aukerman]

I think I'm severely dehydrated.

[Peloton Instructor]

Don't you dare touch that water. Touch some of this protein.

[Bugs Bunny]

Oh, God.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is chunky.

[Peloton Instructor]

It's dry powder. Go ahead and shove it on down.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Peloton Instructor]

And slow it down. We are cooling off. We are cooling off. How my boys doing? How are my boys?

[Wayne Brady]

I feel much better since I got off my bike. And I'm sharing Scott's bike with him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're doing it tandem.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love seeing you guys both on those bikes, one pedal apiece. When Scott got on your shoulders, Wayne, I knew my boys were doing it.

[Wayne Brady]

It felt good.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. We put a trench coat around her skin. We went to try to buy alcohol.

[Peloton Instructor]

You guys looked like.

[Wayne Brady]

And then we tried to get into a movie.

[Peloton Instructor]

You looked like a full on adult.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you. That's so nice.

[Peloton Instructor]

I'm gonna let you know something super intimate right now.

[Wayne Brady]

What's that?

[Scott Aukerman]

Kendall Crandall.

[Peloton Instructor]

All of my students in that peloton room are my boys, my sons.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

I Am your boy, Mom. Right now. Do you feel that?

[Wayne Brady]

Yes.

[Peloton Instructor]

Do you feel that?

[Scott Aukerman]

I do.

[Peloton Instructor]

That is me mothering you.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you.

[Peloton Instructor]

I am mother. Say it. You are mother.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are mother.

[Peloton Instructor]

That is damn right. Go ahead and pack one of those proteins into your ass.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Let me mother. Why are you taking your breast out? I don't want to breastfeed tonight.

[Peloton Instructor]

No. We are going to have some of this milk and you better shut the fuck up about it. Slurp it on down. That's. That's right. It's better than water, isn't it?

[Scott Aukerman]

We're sharing the breasts like we shared my bike.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right, my little son.

[Wayne Brady]

This isn't what I was expecting today, but it's better than what I thought it would be. It's making me so happy.

[Peloton Instructor]

You know what Braxton said to me after I took him out of his bath this morning?

[Wayne Brady]

What?

[Peloton Instructor]

He's 24 months and 24 days and 30 seconds old.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

You know what I said to him? I said, how did you get so special? And you know what he said to me?

[Bugs Bunny]

What's that, Mom?

[Peloton Instructor]

God made me this way. And without God, I wouldn't be here.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's veering into the religious at this point.

[Wayne Brady]

It's very religious, very literal, very, very pointed.

[Scott Aukerman]

Very devout.

[Wayne Brady]

Very devout.

[Scott Aukerman]

How are you guys vocabulary?

[Peloton Instructor]

How are your asses?

[Scott Aukerman]

They're up. I mean, they're up. It's about as up as high as I can go.

[Wayne Brady]

And I've never had quite as much protein in my ass as I've had you.

[Peloton Instructor]

Just kidding. 598 grams of protein every meal. Do you know how many meals you should be having?

[Wayne Brady]

How many?

[Peloton Instructor]

35 meals. Do you know what time I wake up in the morning?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have no idea.

[Peloton Instructor]

2:00Am do you know how long my day is?

[Wayne Brady]

How long?

[Peloton Instructor]

30 seconds. I go right back to bed.

[Wayne Brady]

That's a biohack.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yeah, that is a biohack.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you do in that 30 seconds?

[Peloton Instructor]

I brush my teeth. But you know what?

[Wayne Brady]

What?

[Peloton Instructor]

I don't use any toothpaste, okay? Because toothpaste has chemicals and that is not okay, okay? Fluoride is bad, okay? Get those asses up. Let's get another ride on these bikes.

[Wayne Brady]

Wait.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Come here. Grab on.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hold on to my back.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay. Ready? Go.

[Peloton Instructor]

My boys. I want you to talk to me right now, okay? Tell me the most motivational quote you've ever heard in your life. And guess what? It better involve God.

[Scott Aukerman]

God said. What was it? Aim. Aim. Aim high. Drink Brown.

[Wayne Brady]

Yep. Aim. Aim high. Burn bright.

[Scott Aukerman]

Burn bright. Brown. Yes.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's what I love to hear. Wayne, go ahead and hit me with a quote of your life.

[Wayne Brady]

God said, is that all you got? And I said, yes, that's right.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's all you've got. God will never let you step down.

[Wayne Brady]

No.

[Peloton Instructor]

God is the ultimate boy mom.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Peloton Instructor]

And I am the best world's first boy mom to ever be a peloton instructor. Get your ass up into the air. Get your stomach up by your ass. Get those cheekbones in your face. Near your cheekbones.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thanks for clarifying.

[Peloton Instructor]

In your ass. Okay. Do we feel that? Do you feel that? Yeah, I feel all right. I'm gonna tell you what motivates me.

[Wayne Brady]

Tasting so much protein.

[Peloton Instructor]

I'm gonna tell you what motivates me right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Get your tongue out of my protein, please.

[Wayne Brady]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Peloton Instructor]

I was really going through it recently when I was realizing that my son was gonna have to marry a woman one day. That was really hard for me to realize, and I really went through it mentally. So what did I do besides working out? I went to a psychiatrist. Oh, that's right. I talked through my feelings a bit.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's mentionable. It's manageable.

[Peloton Instructor]

We went. I visited them for about, I don't know, five, six sessions until I found out via letter that they killed themselves. Go ahead and get those. Resistance up to 589.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, my God.

[Peloton Instructor]

Cadence up to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's consider it.

[Peloton Instructor]

Let's tone it down on the cadence. Actually, let's go nice and slow here. Let's hit it with a four.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you feel that? Yeah, I'm barely.

[Peloton Instructor]

Do you feel that, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, I guess not really. A 4 is very, very low.

[Peloton Instructor]

I'm sorry. I'm getting a text from my son, Braxton.

[Wayne Brady]

But he's only texting, right? He's only, what, two years?

[Peloton Instructor]

He says, mom, you need to remember something. Every day that we spend together is a lifetime for some people. And hours in a day are actually moments. And moments. Moments do not compare to the life that someone could have within the span of time. Time is but a moment. Remember that. Go ahead and get those asses up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay, here we go.

[Peloton Instructor]

I want you guys to look into each other's eyes.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay?

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. Let me turn around. Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Hey, how you doing?

[Peloton Instructor]

How do you guys. How. What are you gonna do for each other today? What are you gonna do that's going to change that person's lives? Tell me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, Wayne, I'd love to keep in touch and close contact. Maybe text Each other.

[Peloton Instructor]

More.

[Wayne Brady]

More.

[Scott Aukerman]

Six times a day. You need more with inspirational quotes.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm. I'm gonna move in with you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Wow. I love your space in the attic. I think.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. I'm done in. In fact, I'm gonna sell everything that I own. And I'm moving in with you this afternoon. I think it's. Right. That's what I.

[Scott Aukerman]

Everything you own.

[Peloton Instructor]

You here.

[Wayne Brady]

Everything.

[Scott Aukerman]

Even your extensive collection of troll dolls.

[Wayne Brady]

All of it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow.

[Wayne Brady]

All of it. When I'm in, I'm in.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love it. How do you boys feel? How are my boys?

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel rejuvenated, actually. All this protein might be going to my ass, but I just feel really intense right now.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right. I bet you do.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, I feel sated. I'm very, very full.

[Peloton Instructor]

I don't know what that means. Sated.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh. I'm not hungry, spiritually or physically.

[Scott Aukerman]

New York Times crossword. Do you. It comes up a lot.

[Peloton Instructor]

I only do the mini.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. How long do you take on it?

[Peloton Instructor]

I take about 45 minutes on the mini, but my son does the New York Times Sunday. And you know how long it takes him.

[Wayne Brady]

Hello.

[Peloton Instructor]

Five seconds.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow. Now, in real time, or are we talking in a relativistic.

[Peloton Instructor]

Relativistic time is but a series of moments. What time do you get up in the morning, Wayne?

[Wayne Brady]

I get up around 6.

[Peloton Instructor]

That is not early enough.

[Wayne Brady]

I know.

[Peloton Instructor]

You should be getting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, mother.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right, say it again.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry, Mother.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right, say it again.

[Wayne Brady]

Sorry, mother.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right, Say, I am mothering.

[Wayne Brady]

I am mothering.

[Peloton Instructor]

Say mama.

[Wayne Brady]

Mama.

[Peloton Instructor]

Say wham. Wham. Mama. That's right. Baby Shit. Baby need a change.

[Scott Aukerman]

Baby need a change.

[Peloton Instructor]

Baby need it. Baby made a stinky.

[Scott Aukerman]

Baby made a stinky. I, too, did.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's what I like to hear, Scott. You are my son. You are my son.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you, Mommy.

[Peloton Instructor]

Now, have I.

[Wayne Brady]

Some people pay a lot of money for this. And we get to do it right now for free.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

I want to let you know how many sons I have out there.

[Wayne Brady]

How many?

[Peloton Instructor]

1.5 million sons.

[Wayne Brady]

What?

[Peloton Instructor]

Tuning in every single day. Only one girl. You know who that is?

[Wayne Brady]

Who?

[Peloton Instructor]

My daughter.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you have a. You've never mentioned her.

[Wayne Brady]

You've never talked about her.

[Peloton Instructor]

Her name is Paisley Ann. She's fine. But my son. Let's go ahead and hit it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Peloton Instructor]

My son motivates me every single day.

[Scott Aukerman]

How old is Paisley Ann?

[Peloton Instructor]

Paisley Ann. I don't. She's a. I mean, she's five.

[Wayne Brady]

She's Fine.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

You don't seem to care as much about her.

[Peloton Instructor]

She's okay. She's like, you know, she's smart and she's nice. Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

There's a definite lack of enthusiasm.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love her. No, she's my daughter and I love her. I. I guess, but.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

[Peloton Instructor]

She is not like my son Braxton.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

Go ahead. I want you to know. Do you guys want to have sons someday? I want to hear it from you, Wayne. Do you have a son?

[Wayne Brady]

Yes, I have a son.

[Peloton Instructor]

What is your son's biggest motivation?

[Wayne Brady]

Mommy's boobies.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right. Scott, do you want to have a son someday?

[Scott Aukerman]

No.

[Peloton Instructor]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you doing? I'm good.

[Peloton Instructor]

Stop the music. What did you just say?

[Scott Aukerman]

I have the only child I'm gonna have, and that's a daughter. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mommy.

[Peloton Instructor]

Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Peloton Instructor]

The world is made up of boys who become men who become boys again.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's about 48% of the population, I think, are boys. Yeah.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yeah. Okay. So what are you gonna do? I guess I'm gonna get your sperm checked.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's already happened.

[Peloton Instructor]

In order to get the first checked again, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do sperm on you guys. I'm gonna get a sperm check going on you, right? Go ahead and hit the music. I'm gonna get my. My cast of peloton instructors here. Go ahead and get their sperm out of them right now. We are gonna do a sperm check on both of you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Private room that we can go to.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah, that's right.

[Peloton Instructor]

Go ahead and get that sperm in the cat. This is my sperm checker, Dawson. Dawson, how we doing?

[Bugs Bunny]

Hi, Mommy.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yeah, Mommy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dawson, I feel weird masturbating in front of all of you.

[Peloton Instructor]

No, go ahead. This is what we do here at Peloton.

[Wayne Brady]

I don't need to masturbate. Here, I carry this around.

[Peloton Instructor]

Oh, thank you so much for that.

[Scott Aukerman]

That was in your wallet.

[Peloton Instructor]

Huge jar. This big jar that came out of your wallet. Thank you. Thank you so much. Dawson, go ahead and get this in the lab.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm the biggest one I've ever seen. I'll give it right away.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love. This is my son, Dawson. Have you met him, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

I do have.

[Peloton Instructor]

He's gonna go ahead and get to go to town on him. Go to town on him, Dawson, you're.

[Scott Aukerman]

Gonna extract it, if that's okay? Sure. Oh. Oh, God.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm gonna do it even if you say no.

[Peloton Instructor]

You see how effective he is?

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Dawson, you don't need the tweezers, Dawson.

[Bugs Bunny]

Oh, yeah, I do. I can't find it.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm. I'm gonna. Is it cool that I'm videoing this whole thing?

[Peloton Instructor]

That's great. Go ahead and put that online on the. Tag us at peloton. We are gonna be putting that on the. On the tick tock army. Dawson.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm Dawson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hi, Dawson.

[Peloton Instructor]

Dawson runs our social media, but he also extracts our sperm and also does the test. Don't you, Dawson?

[Bugs Bunny]

You want me to tag you?

[Wayne Brady]

Hey, Twitch, it's your boy, Wayne. I'm on.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, God.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm streaming this live. Can you believe this shit? Look at this.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think I can perform under these conditions.

[Peloton Instructor]

Dawson, how much sperm do we have out of. Out of our friend Scott here?

[Bugs Bunny]

Scott's getting dusty.

[Scott Aukerman]

I might be dry, I don't know.

[Peloton Instructor]

No, we need to get. You need to pump him full of something else.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm gonna go double time, Dawson. Double time. Oh, God, he's going. Dawson, double time.

[Scott Aukerman]

Penis is at 150.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right, Ken. This is at 150. We're gonna turn that up. Go ahead, Dawson. Turn that up to 492. Look at that.

[Wayne Brady]

Look at him, guys.

[Bugs Bunny]

Resistance at zero.

[Peloton Instructor]

Wow. Looks like we got one sperm.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Is that enough, Mommy?

[Peloton Instructor]

That'll do, right, Dawson? We can do. We can work some magic.

[Scott Aukerman]

All it takes is one.

[Bugs Bunny]

From what I heard, Dawson thinks one's.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thanks, Dawson.

[Peloton Instructor]

Thank you, Dawson.

[Bugs Bunny]

All right, goodbye.

[Peloton Instructor]

Goodbye, Dawson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Bye, Dawson.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm gone.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

How did you feel? You must feel so good. And relieved.

[Scott Aukerman]

I mean, I definitely feel like I could use a cigarette. Do you have anything on you?

[Wayne Brady]

That was quite an experience to watch.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yes.

[Wayne Brady]

I feel like I witnessed something that I've never seen before.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yes. This is what we do at Peloton. Had both of you continued your training, but you guys stopped midway through the pandemic and you never came back.

[Wayne Brady]

Well, I'm coming back now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, definitely.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm definitely on board.

[Scott Aukerman]

All it takes is one class to get you back on board. What happened here today? I am on board.

[Peloton Instructor]

We love to see that out of you, Scott. Thanks. I cannot wait for you guys to have the boys. I want. I can't wait for you to be boy. Boy dads.

[Scott Aukerman]

Boy. Mom. Dads.

[Peloton Instructor]

Boy. Mom. Dads.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Boy. Dad. Boy dad. Moms.

[Peloton Instructor]

Mommy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mommy. Mommy.

[Wayne Brady]

Mommy.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is incredible. Thank you so much, Grendel. I always appreciate it.

[Peloton Instructor]

It's an honor to be here, Dawson. You okay?

[Bugs Bunny]

Sperm's good.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just checked how did you check? Do you mind me?

[Bugs Bunny]

You know how you saw me?

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, look, we have to take a break.

[Peloton Instructor]

Understood, Scott, let's go ahead and get those asses up as we take our break.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, we're gonna take a break.

[Peloton Instructor]

Pound that. Put that protein in those asses and in those front pockets. He's your dick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, we're gonna take a break. When we come back, we're gonna have more Wayne Brady, more Krendle, and America's favorite rabbit. This is an incredible show. We're gonna come right back with more Comedy Bang Bang after this.

[Peloton Instructor]

Let's do this.

[Bugs Bunny]

I docked it.

[Wayne Brady]

So much protein in me. So much protein in me. So much protein in me. In my dick. In my dick.

[Scott Aukerman]

This episode of Comedy Bang Bang is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place. Here's what it is. You create a stunning online presence with Squarespace where you can easily showcase your services, whether it's, I don't know, consultations, maybe events, experiences, all on a fully customizable website. Just enjoy yourself customizing this thing. You're going to love it. It attracts clients and it helps grow your business. Squarespace's cutting edge design tools make it simple for anyone to build a bespoke website that aligns perfectly with their brand. Here's how you start. You start with Blueprint AI, their AI. AI. AI AI powered website builder. And create a fully personalized site in just a few steps. Oh, this sounds so futurist. Squarespace also helps streamline your entire workflow with built in tools for appointment scheduling, email marketing and professional invoicing. Plus, get paid on time with branded invoices and seamless online payments. Head to squarespace.com Bang Bang for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code Bang bang to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. I ask myself, is it a sin to be flexible? That's right. Flexibility. It's not a sin. Get out of here. Depeche Mode. Well, flexibility in your workday means you can decide when and where to invest your time. And with stamps.com tedious tasks, the TTS of the world, like sending certified mail invoices beyond checks. Who needs them? They can be done on your time, not someone else's. Stamps.com simplifies your postage needs and adds valuable flexibility back into your workday. Seamlessly connect with every major marketplace and shopping cart. If you sell products online, get rates you won't see anywhere else. Like up to 88% off USPS. That's almost all and UPS. Oh, I've been using stamps.com for, you know, over a decade at this point. They're one of our super sponsors. We would mail every single package out using stamps.com. it's easy, it's fun. It is fun. Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. sign [e-mail] and use code bang bang for a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No long term commitments or contracts, just go to stamps.com code bang bang.

[Krendel]

Tired of listening to the same old playlists or podcasts over and over? Maybe it's time to mix things up. Try something new. Hit explore. Avoid the blah and the boring before you even put your headphones in. Add some fun in the mix. Say yabba dabba doo to a bowl of pebble cereal and enjoy by the spoonful fruity and cocoa pebble cereal. Les blah. More yabba dabba doo. Head to your nearest grocery store to buy pebble cereal today. The Flintstones and all related characters and elements copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera.

[Scott Aukerman]

Comedy. Bang Bang. We are back. We have Wayne Brady. The podcast is what if With Jonathan Mangum.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pronouncing that correctly. Mangum.

[Wayne Brady]

Mangum.

[Scott Aukerman]

Because it looks like Magnum, which of course is. It does both a gun and a condom.

[Wayne Brady]

Right. And he is neither one of those.

[Bugs Bunny]

He is.

[Scott Aukerman]

He is not a condom. We. We should make that very clear for our listeners.

[Wayne Brady]

And it's so weird how. How many times I have to clarify that when we do the podcast.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

I have to let people know.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know you came in here expecting to hear a podcast hosted. Co. Hosted at least by a condom.

[Wayne Brady]

Right. You know, but he is a man.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Wayne Brady]

He's a human.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's a human. Who, by the way, has never used condoms.

[Wayne Brady]

Which never. So many children.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep.

[Wayne Brady]

So many children. So many diseases.

[Scott Aukerman]

He has a child for every disease, does he not? He brags about that.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. And he. And he names them according to the disease.

[Scott Aukerman]

The disease that he got because he thinks it's cute. Yeah. So his daughter Chlamydia, by the way, is gorgeous.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. Little Gus. God. Gonorrhea. Because he tries to make it sound cutesy to take away the stigma.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah. But. But he's a really good guy when he isn't.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great guy.

[Wayne Brady]

Passing on love.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sex. He.

[Wayne Brady]

He loves sex so much. Which is kind of our bond.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You bonded because you love sex. He loves sex. Not, not necessarily with each other, but, you know, not necessarily with over 30 years of friendship. You're bound to.

[Wayne Brady]

Something's got to happen once.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Wayne Brady]

It's got to happen once. I can't tell. I can't tell you when it did, but it did.

[Scott Aukerman]

Was it yesterday?

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, you got me. Definitely happened yesterday.

[Scott Aukerman]

We also have Crindle here, the peloton.

[Peloton Instructor]

How are my boys doing? I made you. I just made you these big steak smoothies for you to get some pack. This is protein packed smoothies straight into those acids.

[Scott Aukerman]

Speaking of drinking brown, this steak smoothie.

[Wayne Brady]

Wow, this is so good. Thanks, mommy.

[Peloton Instructor]

Absolutely. How we doing? I see you're stretching each other. This is so good to see.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we've been stretching each other out during the entire break.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's what I love to see. I love to see how loose you're getting.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, we're so limber now that I feel.

[Peloton Instructor]

Do you feel crunched and crammed and crackled up?

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel clumped. Definitely clumped.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm. I'm in a split right now, and I haven't been able to do a full split.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

Since. Since I was six.

[Scott Aukerman]

You've done like quarter splits and third.

[Wayne Brady]

Splits, half splits, jazz splits, but not a full split.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right. Mama Kendall absolutely rammed you up, didn't she?

[Scott Aukerman]

Your name's Crandall, by the way.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's what I said, didn't I? Really rammed you up, didn't she? She absolutely raw dogged you both.

[Wayne Brady]

You are so aggressive and I love that.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love that. And I love seeing my boys learn and grow and just become closer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Peloton Instructor]

I feel so close to you.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel close to you, mommy. But we do have to get to our next guest, if that's okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's fine. So long as it's another boy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I believe it. Well, I don't. I think a male.

[Wayne Brady]

Well, what does he identify as? I don't want to just label someone.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's a good question. I haven't. You know, I was a big fan of this person or not person. I beg your pardon? You are America's favorite rabbit. I feel like I'm both misgendering you and Ms. Species seeing you, but I believe that.

[Wayne Brady]

A rabbit can be a person of that species.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, that's. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. So the person of rabbits is a rabbit. Let's introduce him or her or them. This is America's favorite rabbit. Please welcome Bugs Bunny.

[Bugs Bunny]

What's up, Scat? How we doing today?

[Scott Aukerman]

Doing Great. Wow.

[Peloton Instructor]

He.

[Bugs Bunny]

Him. Unless I'm dressed as your lady, then she hacked.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. It's such a pleasure to meet you.

[Bugs Bunny]

A real treat to be here.

[Scott Aukerman]

Welcome to the One Timers Club.

[Bugs Bunny]

And let's hope that I stay there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep. This is.

[Bugs Bunny]

Hey. Real pleasure to meet you.

[Wayne Brady]

Nice to meet you, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Crandall.

[Bugs Bunny]

Crandall.

[Peloton Instructor]

Hi. Would you like one of these steaks to chew on instead of that nasty carrot?

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm gonna stick with my carrot, sweetheart.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's such a pleasure to meet you. We all, of course, know you from the Looney Tunes universe.

[Bugs Bunny]

A bit of an entertainer.

[Scott Aukerman]

Space Jam.

[Bugs Bunny]

Space Jam, yeah, That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. Space Jam 2.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm a bit, you know, I mean, I'm. I'm making people laugh. I'm being mischievous. I'm being a bit naughty.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Did you. Were you always like that, or is that a character?

[Bugs Bunny]

Ever since I can remember, I've been doing widdle jokes and jumping out of holes. It did develop over time. I had to find my voice.

[Wayne Brady]

Huh.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. What. I mean, what were you like as a. A baby. A child.

[Bugs Bunny]

I was burrowing with all my other siblings.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure. How many siblings do you have?

[Bugs Bunny]

17.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did you say 17 or 17?

[Wayne Brady]

I think it's open for interpretation.

[Bugs Bunny]

17.

[Scott Aukerman]

17.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's 17.

[Wayne Brady]

Can I get deep for a second, Scott?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, please.

[Wayne Brady]

Because something that I've always. The reason that Rabbits. I have a problem with rabbits, and I'm really trying to get over that right now.

[Bugs Bunny]

Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Because I don't want to be disrespectful to you. Bugs.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

Is. I read Watership Down.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Bugs Bunny]

All right.

[Wayne Brady]

And rabbits are violent, and so I just want to know.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's a cold, cold world out here, Wayne.

[Wayne Brady]

It's a cold. Have you ever participated in the killing of other rabbits, like the rabbits in Watership Down?

[Bugs Bunny]

Well, I'm not familiar with the text material. Want to ship down?

[Wayne Brady]

It's about a whole bunch of rabbits that. Each other up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Would you like to read the Cliff Notes? I have it right here. Yeah. If you could give it to me. You're a speed reader.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah. You know, if you just look at the words in the middle, you'll figure out which on the outshine.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, context.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah. She's all about context. I've killed a couple rabbits in my younger days. That's what you got to do to survive in the hutch.

[Peloton Instructor]

Boys will be boys. As I like to.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I wish I could turn your opinion on rabbit, though. You're acting like a Mahroo.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's why you don't like rabbits. Is that right, Wayne? Because you read Watership.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, the book freaked me out.

[Bugs Bunny]

Couldn't help but notice you were unable to answer the question, who's your favorite rabbit?

[Wayne Brady]

Well, I mean, I don't have a favorite rabbit right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, right now. It may change right now.

[Wayne Brady]

But I'm leaning towards you. You used to be.

[Bugs Bunny]

You're just saying that.

[Wayne Brady]

No, no, it's just true.

[Bugs Bunny]

Because I'm in a room right now.

[Wayne Brady]

I used to love. I used to love rabbits. I loved all of your early work. Yes, until I took a course in African American studies and I realized how racist a lot of the early Looney Tunes cartoons were.

[Bugs Bunny]

I got nothing to do with that.

[Scott Aukerman]

You participated in.

[Bugs Bunny]

I got nothing to do with that.

[Scott Aukerman]

So you had a tacit. Sort of.

[Bugs Bunny]

I was just working in the union. I was doing what I was told.

[Wayne Brady]

Every single time that a cigar would explode. And you sang me. I was offended.

[Bugs Bunny]

Sorry about that. So I'd like to formally apologize.

[Wayne Brady]

Well.

[Bugs Bunny]

Feels like the only way through.

[Wayne Brady]

Well, let's hug.

[Peloton Instructor]

Wow. Look at my boys hugging.

[Wayne Brady]

Thank you.

[Peloton Instructor]

Look at them. Each other as real.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, my God, this feels.

[Peloton Instructor]

I'm going to tell you something right now.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah.

[Peloton Instructor]

My favorite bunny is the Energizer Bunny. The way that he. Go, go, goes.

[Bugs Bunny]

You know what that means?

[Peloton Instructor]

What?

[Bugs Bunny]

That means war.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

If you like the Energizer Bunny, then you're not a friend of mine.

[Wayne Brady]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

Wow. I. I like the Easter Bunny. Of course, Easter was yesterday, and that means war. Sorry. Sorry.

[Bugs Bunny]

If I'm not America's favorite rabbit, I'm out. I'm walking.

[Wayne Brady]

Look at the glint in his eye.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are you gonna do to us? You're not gonna make us.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'll shoot you with a really big gun.

[Peloton Instructor]

Whoa. Look at that big gun he had.

[Bugs Bunny]

I've done the size of three men. It's.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's huge. Wayne, your gat can't compare to this.

[Wayne Brady]

No, I've. I've put Bessie away. She has no business in this room right now.

[Bugs Bunny]

Musket. The bell's bigger than a Shozaphone.

[Wayne Brady]

So which season is it right now?

[Bugs Bunny]

It's funny, Shizia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's funny, Shisha. Which is actually why I'm here. Scott, I need your help.

[Scott Aukerman]

I feel, by the way, you're changing your R's to W's like Elmer Fudd did and Pugs didn't.

[Bugs Bunny]

No, I just didn't take my Zyrtec today, that's all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

If I sound a little weird. It's because I didn't take my jet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, you gotta take your Zyrtec. I know this is early. More an early morning podcast.

[Wayne Brady]

I forgot it.

[Bugs Bunny]

Forgot about it. But I need your help, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

What's going on? What's going on? Bugs. Is it confusing? Your name is Bugs and you're a rabbit.

[Bugs Bunny]

Not for me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

You know, I'm just so used to it. Maybe for other people. Was it confusing for you?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, well, I thought I was introducing a bunch of bugs, and then it. That turned out to be you.

[Bugs Bunny]

Thank God I look like a rabbit.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yep, that's true. You're not. A bunch of bugs that have assembled.

[Bugs Bunny]

And formed themselves into a shape before Christmas villain situation. I don't have a zipper that you can unzhip her. And then I'm just a bunch of bugs.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Just wanted to make that clear. All right. What's going on, Bugs?

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm in a lot of trouble.

[Scott Aukerman]

You see.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm currently being taken advantage of by a very powerful, powerful male.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh.

[Bugs Bunny]

And he's threatening my friend Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Bugs Bunny]

And I said to him. I said to him, you leave my friends alone. He said, that's not good enough for me. And I said, I want to challenge you to a sketch competition.

[Scott Aukerman]

A sketch competition.

[Bugs Bunny]

So I found myself in this competition, Scott, and I. I need some help from you. I need. I need some of the best.

[Peloton Instructor]

Are you talking about drawing or.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah, no. Sketch comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sketch comedy. Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Like you're writing a sketch.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yes, yes, yes. She. All my friends are in danger, but if we win a sketch competition, he's gonna let him go.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I. I trafficked in sketch comedy occasionally.

[Peloton Instructor]

I can do this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, I can do this. Right? And, Wayne, you're one of the best at.

[Bugs Bunny]

I didn't even know you was gonna be here, Wayne.

[Wayne Brady]

No, but this is great. And if we could help my new friend that I no longer fear, then I'd love to.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sure.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah.

[Peloton Instructor]

And I also write sketches for the Peloton Instagram.

[Bugs Bunny]

Sure. Okay, well, so you have. You have bad ideas in a room, right?

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right.

[Wayne Brady]

So who's threatening you?

[Bugs Bunny]

Who.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who. Who's.

[Wayne Brady]

Who's the powerful guy?

[Bugs Bunny]

His name's Mr. Smack. Mallet.

[Wayne Brady]

No.

[Bugs Bunny]

And he runs an amusement park.

[Peloton Instructor]

Okay, that's a silly name. It is.

[Wayne Brady]

It's a sketch jam.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's a sketch jam. Well, what he wants. He wants. He wants to try and take all my friends, and if we lose, we got to work in his amusement park forever.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, you know, and we got to.

[Bugs Bunny]

Do the sketch show that we wrote.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like, five times a day. Wayne did this.

[Bugs Bunny]

Five times a day?

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah.

[Bugs Bunny]

Six days a week.

[Wayne Brady]

You get meals.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's what happens at Peloton. We're all stuck there.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really? So. Oh, okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

You can't leave, huh?

[Scott Aukerman]

You're like indentured servants.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yeah, exactly. We work for Mr. Peloton.

[Bugs Bunny]

Really fun. Maybe we can write something about that.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know.

[Peloton Instructor]

Hilarious.

[Wayne Brady]

Did you give birth there because they wouldn't let you out? Let me.

[Peloton Instructor]

Let me tell you something right now. I gave birth on the bike. That is right. I gave birth while I was riding cadence at 309.

[Scott Aukerman]

92. This is Bugs. Bugs.

[Peloton Instructor]

Cadence.

[Bugs Bunny]

Push it.

[Peloton Instructor]

What I could be giving birds right now. This is exactly the position I was in. He was out of me just like that. Fell on the floor. I cut that umbilical cord with my teeth.

[Bugs Bunny]

Now I'm dressed up as a nurse, and I'm delivering the baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Should we ride towards that hole in the cliff over there?

[Bugs Bunny]

No, don't. Well, you can, as long as you don't look down. Here's the thing, though, all right? We're up against some really, really tough competition. Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay?

[Bugs Bunny]

You see, the thing is, Mr. Smack Mallet, he possessed a bunch of the best comedy shoals and put him. Put them for his team.

[Scott Aukerman]

The shoals. The shows like Muscle Shoals.

[Bugs Bunny]

No, his shoals. Like what's. What makes you tick.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, the thing that weighs inside ya.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, your soul.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your show.

[Wayne Brady]

Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it, Got it.

[Bugs Bunny]

Not to chinge on your feet.

[Scott Aukerman]

Chings.

[Bugs Bunny]

What time I have a g. Take.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your zyrtec next time you're on the show.

[Wayne Brady]

That's so irresponsible to come without his Zyrtec.

[Bugs Bunny]

I mean, it's an emergency. My whole. All my friends are at stake.

[Peloton Instructor]

Let me play the whole world's at stake.

[Bugs Bunny]

Scott, you have to understand, the people that we're going against are some of the best in comedy, which is why I had to go. Some of the best in comedy. Mr. Smack Mallet. Yeah, he's got Tom Lennon.

[Wayne Brady]

No, he's got Tom.

[Bugs Bunny]

He's got Tom.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's got Tom.

[Wayne Brady]

How'd he get Tom Lennon on his side?

[Scott Aukerman]

Tom was on the first episode of this show.

[Bugs Bunny]

He just shut his essence. He didn't even ask for consent. He just shucked Tom's essence.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, he shook.

[Scott Aukerman]

He shucked.

[Bugs Bunny]

He just shucked Tom's. Shout out his essence.

[Wayne Brady]

Which hole?

[Bugs Bunny]

Shoot him out.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, okay. Out the butt, through the hole.

[Peloton Instructor]

Broke the butt and threw the Mouth. That's the ride.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who else does Mr. Smack Mouth?

[Bugs Bunny]

The police don't destroy boys.

[Scott Aukerman]

No, all three of them.

[Bugs Bunny]

How are we gonna beat some of the best guys right now?

[Peloton Instructor]

Those are my boys. Those are my sons. Those boys.

[Wayne Brady]

They're so cute. Cute.

[Bugs Bunny]

I don't know how we're going to beat him.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who else?

[Bugs Bunny]

Keenan Thompson.

[Scott Aukerman]

Keenan. Not Keenan.

[Peloton Instructor]

So many boys.

[Bugs Bunny]

And then they got the piece of resistance to tie it all together.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who's that?

[Bugs Bunny]

David Crosh.

[Scott Aukerman]

David. My old compadre and Mr. Show. David Cross.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm sorry to tell you, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

Pun intended.

[Peloton Instructor]

He's crossed you.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh. A pun also intended to break the.

[Bugs Bunny]

News to you, Scott. But even your friend is your foe.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

How are we gonna go? I mean, I have Wayne Brady. That's. And I guess Crindle.

[Bugs Bunny]

Well, we got all you have, too. We got access to all the Looney Tunes, too.

[Scott Aukerman]

Although. Okay, so who do we got? Daffy.

[Bugs Bunny]

We got Daffy. We got tweety. We got Mr. Toots.

[Scott Aukerman]

Mr. Wait. We got. We got back up.

[Wayne Brady]

Mr. Toots.

[Bugs Bunny]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

Mr. Toot. I know Mr. Toots. Mr. Toots is parts. He's part of Coustopia.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yeah.

[Bugs Bunny]

That's the world that I'm trying to shape.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're trying to save Kushtopia.

[Bugs Bunny]

Absolutely. That's where all the Looney Tunes live. We live in the core of Kushtopia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Sorry. Wayne, do you know what Kushtopia is?

[Wayne Brady]

No.

[Bugs Bunny]

Crazy. You don't know Kushtopia?

[Scott Aukerman]

It's a world.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's one of the richest worlds. It's one of the richest environments you could ever be a part of.

[Peloton Instructor]

This is why you need a sun to watch Kooshtopia with.

[Scott Aukerman]

Kushtopia is an alternate universe. It's made entirely of weed.

[Bugs Bunny]

Mostly Kuttupia. Mostly, everything's made of ganja.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's a train, I believe.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yes, there's a train. It goes around. Some of it's metal. Some of it's made of nuggets. It's an alternate universe. You have to understand. 65 million years ago, a comet hit Earth. It split Earth into two.

[Scott Aukerman]

Earth.

[Bugs Bunny]

Earth and Earth. Two Earth, two Kishtopia. Oh, I can't believe you don't know this.

[Wayne Brady]

You know what? I do. I didn't know that it was Kushtopia, but I remember as a kid reading my favorite comic book, which was about this kid, an alien crashed to Earth. He was discovered in a field, and it turned out to be Snoop Dogg. And he came.

[Scott Aukerman]

Your favorite comic when you were a kid.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. My favorite comic was about Snoop crash crashing to Earth. And he got his powers under this.

[Bugs Bunny]

This hands and everything.

[Wayne Brady]

So he's from Kushtopia.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did Snoop come over here from Kushto?

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm sure Snoop took a portal. A guy with that can smoke that much weight. He's probably got Kushtokian blood.

[Wayne Brady]

He has power problem.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, okay, I, you'll have to forgive me, Bugs, but I, I'm not a huge fan of Kushtopia.

[Bugs Bunny]

What do you mean?

[Scott Aukerman]

I just, there's been several guests on this show over the years.

[Bugs Bunny]

Bunch of nice guys, I'm sure.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know who's the motor. The motorcycle.

[Bugs Bunny]

Mighty motorcycle. The guy who, who always forgets his motherfucking guns.

[Scott Aukerman]

Exactly. Yeah. So, I mean, he's available.

[Bugs Bunny]

He could do the sketch show. Imagine having a transforming man slash motorcycle available for your sketch show.

[Scott Aukerman]

I just, I, I don't know that it's something that I'm incredibly interested in.

[Peloton Instructor]

It sounds.

[Bugs Bunny]

Oh, so you're not interested in saving an entire planet, Scott?

[Wayne Brady]

I'm looking up on Reddit and one of the comments that comes up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, no.

[Wayne Brady]

Scott's exasperation about Kushtopia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, have people picked up on this?

[Wayne Brady]

It's so fucking funny. Someone says, Scott's exasperation about Krishtopia is so fucking funny. That is hilarious. The fact that they that it. Scott's default Persona. He hates Coustopia.

[Bugs Bunny]

Noosh to me.

[Peloton Instructor]

Listen to that, Scott. Let that fill you up.

[Bugs Bunny]

You hate it.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, here's the problem. I have guests on this show, and ostensibly they're talking about something else, and then they slip in references to Kushtopia, something that I'm just not, I have no personal affinity for.

[Bugs Bunny]

Well, there's people that live there.

[Scott Aukerman]

There's real Hodge.

[Bugs Bunny]

Don't you want to shave the Looney Tunes?

[Wayne Brady]

But we don't know.

[Bugs Bunny]

What don't you know?

[Wayne Brady]

I think that. What don't you know, Bugs? I think that empathy can stretch only so far. We don't know people in Kushtopia.

[Bugs Bunny]

Scott does, though.

[Scott Aukerman]

I know motorcycle.

[Bugs Bunny]

Motorcycle, motorcycle. Marty. Mr. Toots.

[Scott Aukerman]

Who else?

[Bugs Bunny]

The Executioner.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right.

[Bugs Bunny]

Cooter. The supercomputer. We could retcon that. The Green Ranger. I did the, I mean, a person did the first episode. Could be from Kushtopia.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, I, I, I got.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's a rich world that it's shaving.

[Peloton Instructor]

Half of my boys on Peloton are in Kushtopia. Working their asses up.

[Scott Aukerman]

Do you. Do you guys want to save Kristopia?

[Peloton Instructor]

Yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Do we need to go to Kristopia?

[Bugs Bunny]

Not at all. We just got to write some sketches, cash the sketches, and then we'll go to do the sketch show. And if we win, Kushtopia Shade.

[Scott Aukerman]

When is the sketch show that we're supposed to do?

[Bugs Bunny]

Tomorrow.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tomorrow.

[Wayne Brady]

Tomorrow.

[Bugs Bunny]

We got a crunch. It took me a long time.

[Scott Aukerman]

We need to cram. We need the clumps.

[Wayne Brady]

We need the clumps, and we need a. A writing session right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Peloton Instructor]

We need to get rams.

[Bugs Bunny]

I got some ideas. I got some ideas.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, let's. Let's use the title of Wayne's podcast, what if. What if?

[Bugs Bunny]

And that's a good way to write sketches, because you've got an idea, you say, what if. If. If this is true. What if. What if?

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bugs Bunny]

What else? What if. Who done it?

[Peloton Instructor]

Right, Exactly.

[Scott Aukerman]

Done it.

[Bugs Bunny]

Who done it? Who did it? How's it going? Who done it? Who did it? What if.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whereas these are improv questions, what they.

[Peloton Instructor]

Have for dinner when they happen?

[Wayne Brady]

Okay?

[Bugs Bunny]

Anything can happen.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, so what if the bride of Frankenstein, she's. She's hot. And Patti LuPone is playing her. Right? Right. So. And. And what if, uh, uh, uh, she goes to Kushtopia?

[Bugs Bunny]

Right, Right.

[Peloton Instructor]

I mean, and she has a really hot son.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

A really super hot son who is. She's. She's jealous of him.

[Bugs Bunny]

I mean, we'll write in on the ball.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay. Yeah, my son is.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes.

[Bugs Bunny]

She has legs. She shares legs. Scott, do you think we should maybe get Jack Galfenakish? Do you think you could put a call out for Jack?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't like to bother him too much.

[Peloton Instructor]

Let's go ahead and call Zach right now. Get that phone out, and let's dial that number.

[Scott Aukerman]

I guess I could.

[Bugs Bunny]

Maybe Jack's got a couple of pitches or he's got a character he could play or something like that.

[Peloton Instructor]

Go ahead, let's pitch it to him. Let's see what he says.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me see if I can find his. His info here.

[Bugs Bunny]

Just pull him up. Scott, Your old friend.

[Peloton Instructor]

Come on, Scott. Go to his Facebook Marketplace account that you communicate with him through.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, let me. Let me try to call and see what happens here, see if he picks it up. Call failed. That's how quickly.

[Bugs Bunny]

That's not a good shot.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's how quickly he pressed.

[Peloton Instructor]

Scott. Let's try another celebrity.

[Scott Aukerman]

Look, I don't want to rob Huebel.

[Peloton Instructor]

Let's Try Rob.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hubel Huebel, the other guy who's in the first episode of the show.

[Wayne Brady]

Rob. Yes.

[Bugs Bunny]

Why not? Rob?

[Peloton Instructor]

Scott, let's give Rob a call.

[Scott Aukerman]

You want me to call Rob?

[Bugs Bunny]

Rob, he's got the human giant juice behind him, okay?

[Peloton Instructor]

He's got to pick up.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's got.

[Peloton Instructor]

He's got to pick up for you.

[Wayne Brady]

Because I'm sure he's not doing anything this morning.

[Peloton Instructor]

No, it's only 9:55.

[Bugs Bunny]

He's just getting his day started.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's call Rob Hubello.

[Bugs Bunny]

Rob, please. He's gotta have an original call.

[Scott Aukerman]

Failed again.

[Peloton Instructor]

What?

[Bugs Bunny]

Scott. Scott, you gotta work on your friendship, Scott.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is how much juice I have in Hollywood.

[Peloton Instructor]

What is going on here?

[Scott Aukerman]

People I've known for decades will not pick up the phone for me.

[Bugs Bunny]

And I came here because I said Scott's got the juice.

[Wayne Brady]

Here's your 40.

[Scott Aukerman]

Thank you so much.

[Peloton Instructor]

I am worried. I am worried about my.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it bubble protein?

[Peloton Instructor]

I'm worried about my son. He needs to have friends. We need to find you another friend, Scott. Who else can we call?

[Scott Aukerman]

Tim Baltz, maybe.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yeah, let's give Tim Bolts.

[Scott Aukerman]

Tim Bolts from the Righteous Gemstones.

[Peloton Instructor]

He's not as big of a name, but maybe he will pick up for that reason.

[Bugs Bunny]

He's got a lot of juice.

[Peloton Instructor]

He's got so much juice.

[Wayne Brady]

So much industry juice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's see if Tim Bolts will pick up. Call failed.

[Bugs Bunny]

Oh, my God.

[Scott Aukerman]

Maybe it's a problem with the phone or something.

[Bugs Bunny]

Maybe a shim car is now using.

[Peloton Instructor]

The correct phone right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, I'm calling through the computer, which.

[Peloton Instructor]

You need to be calling on your actual phone.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay. Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

We need to give him a ring.

[Bugs Bunny]

And, Scott, if we could get an original Lisa Gilroy character in this sketch show, I think it'd be really.

[Scott Aukerman]

That would make the fans happy, I'm sure, but.

[Peloton Instructor]

Absolutely. But I hate women.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, let's see.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm just so happy none of the.

[Wayne Brady]

Calls are going through.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let's see. Let's see if Tim Baltz picks up.

[Bugs Bunny]

The suspension is killing me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Hello? Hi, Tim. Yeah, yeah, this is Scott Aukerman from Comedy Bang Bang. Yeah, why are you bothering me? Why am I bothering you? We're friends, aren't we? Yeah, but you've never called me. Well, you're on the air right now. Is that okay? Oh, God. I'm here with Bugs Bunny and Wayne Brady and Krendle, who's a peloton instructor.

[Peloton Instructor]

How are you doing, Tim? I haven't seen you in a. That bike.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah, what's up, Tim?

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. And we. We're doing a. A big sketch competition tomorrow, and we could. I know you've done some sketch, haven't you? I know you're an improv guy.

[Bugs Bunny]

Ask him if he can take his wigs out of retirement.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Can you take your wigs out of retirement for us? Yeah, sure.

[Bugs Bunny]

I mean, I'll.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll do whatever it takes. You know me. I'm.

[Bugs Bunny]

I'm a slut.

[Scott Aukerman]

You are. You are a comedy slut, aren't you? Yeah, 100%. I've been seeing you on that Righteous gemstones. You're doing pole dancing, and it just seems like you're a slut for comedy. And you'll do anything for. For a laugh, of course. I mean, I get paid in people laughing at me.

[Bugs Bunny]

Dishgate does not pay.

[Scott Aukerman]

This doesn't pay. Yeah, you get paid in exposure, I guess.

[Wayne Brady]

Other people exposing themselves to me.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. Is that cool? Can we count on you? Yeah, 100%. I got a ton of wigs. I'll bring them.

[Bugs Bunny]

You know, just tell him he's shaving a whole world. Do what you want.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're saving the world of Kushtopia. And by the way, you. We're only asking you to do it because Zach Elephantakis wouldn't pick up. I could. I should be so lucky. Hopefully most of your roles that will come around is because Zach won't pick up. That would elevate me big time. All right, thanks. We can count on you. I appreciate it, buddy. Anything you want to say to the Comedy Bang Bang listeners? Yeah, Tweet at Scott. Tell him to call me as a friend sometimes. Nope. All right, talk to you later. Bye.

[Bugs Bunny]

Smooches Tim. Hey, Scott, thanks for extending your shots.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'll do one call to a famous person, and Tim is about the most famous person.

[Bugs Bunny]

I think Tim's gonna really tip the tides.

[Wayne Brady]

Tim's really good. He's having a really good moment right now.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's really, really.

[Wayne Brady]

He's really, really funny. And I also saw him on another TV show where he's playing a completely Deli Boys different character on Deli Boys. He killed it.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. I know someone else who was on Deli Boys and had one scene.

[Peloton Instructor]

Yeah, I think I know who you're talking about, Scott. She had about one to two lines. She served a big platter of cocaine. Is that who we're talking about?

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You saw her, right?

[Bugs Bunny]

In Hollywood, there's no small pots.

[Peloton Instructor]

No, that's right. There's only small people. And she is small, Scott.

[Wayne Brady]

She's so tiny.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not like you. Crendel, how tall are you?

[Peloton Instructor]

I'm about six, nine, Scott. And that's before I put on my heels, which I wear when I'm on the bike.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right.

[Bugs Bunny]

Hello.

[Wayne Brady]

Nice Mommy.

[Scott Aukerman]

So, Bugs, did we.

[Peloton Instructor]

That's right.

[Scott Aukerman]

Did we solve your problem? I know this isn't happening till tomorrow.

[Bugs Bunny]

But, well, I think we could probably, maybe brainstorm some more sketches. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

I got a couple. I got a couple.

[Scott Aukerman]

What do you got?

[Bugs Bunny]

Night Lotish. K n I g H T. Like the Dark Knight. Yeah, it's like white lotish. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

Batman is not.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's not like that at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

Batman's in the WP universe.

[Bugs Bunny]

K N I G T. N I.

[Wayne Brady]

G H T. Okay. Night Lotus.

[Bugs Bunny]

Night Lotus.

[Wayne Brady]

And is Night Lotus a superhero?

[Bugs Bunny]

No, it's like the White Lotus, but it's in a medieval time.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, Night Lotus. And it takes place in a castle, maybe?

[Peloton Instructor]

Yes.

[Bugs Bunny]

This is what. This is what the room's for. We're brainstorming.

[Wayne Brady]

It takes place in a castle, and then a family arrives for a vacation.

[Bugs Bunny]

You're doing the work.

[Wayne Brady]

And they're beheaded.

[Bugs Bunny]

And it's a blackout sketch. Yeah. So what if the whole show's quick blackout out sketches?

[Wayne Brady]

That's it.

[Peloton Instructor]

I love.

[Scott Aukerman]

Great. What if Merlin's involved and he shows his penis when his bathrobe opens up?

[Bugs Bunny]

Blackout.

[Wayne Brady]

Boom.

[Bugs Bunny]

Don't even need to explain. Oh, that's really funny, Scott. Yeah, devil's in the details.

[Wayne Brady]

Merlin and Arthur, they kiss.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

Blackout.

[Bugs Bunny]

Blackout.

[Peloton Instructor]

Okay, I've got one.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yes.

[Peloton Instructor]

They go ahead and make a big ass smoothie together. And they drink the smoothie.

[Wayne Brady]

Blackout.

[Bugs Bunny]

Great.

[Peloton Instructor]

Hilarious. I'm putting it on peloton.

[Bugs Bunny]

Really funny. She's coming together real nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

She's good, right?

[Bugs Bunny]

You're writing this real nice.

[Scott Aukerman]

Huge typewriter right now.

[Wayne Brady]

That's gonna take forever.

[Peloton Instructor]

He's literally only writing about one word on each, by the way.

[Scott Aukerman]

Just listen to the podcast later.

[Bugs Bunny]

Let me read it back.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Wayne Brady]

Bugs, Bugs, Bugs, Bugs, Bugs, Bugs, bugs, bugs, bugs. So many pieces of paper for. For that.

[Bugs Bunny]

Hey, you got to keep the ideas flowing.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's true.

[Wayne Brady]

Yes. And.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah, this is good.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is good. Do you have any other sketch ideas?

[Bugs Bunny]

I got a chime. Okay, what about some parody songs? Ooh, is that. Oh, let's talk philosophy for a second.

[Wayne Brady]

Okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

Is a parody. A sketch Is a parody song.

[Scott Aukerman]

A sketch Is a parody song. A sketch. I mean, Wayne, you do a lot of parody songs.

[Wayne Brady]

I think A parody song can be a parody song can just be a song. But a parody song can be a sketch. If it's built out. If there's a world visually around the song, then it's a sketch.

[Bugs Bunny]

So there's gotta be a lot of visual elements. Maybe there's just one of those. Like a digital short.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, yeah.

[Bugs Bunny]

Well, you shoot it off location and short show it on today.

[Scott Aukerman]

You know, the police don't destroy. Boys are going to be doing this.

[Peloton Instructor]

We need to compete with them.

[Bugs Bunny]

We got to compete with them. We got to let them know. You can't just get there.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, no. They can't beat us on the song. Song. Oh, no.

[Scott Aukerman]

We got Wayne Brady.

[Wayne Brady]

We got him.

[Scott Aukerman]

What about.

[Bugs Bunny]

What about a parody for the audio slave song? Like a stone called like a stove.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, like a.

[Scott Aukerman]

It doesn't.

[Peloton Instructor]

Like a stone.

[Wayne Brady]

Like a stove. And I don't know know what's the melody to that song?

[Bugs Bunny]

In your house I long to be.

[Scott Aukerman]

Let me see if I.

[Bugs Bunny]

In the room.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm trying to play the video, but we got to sit through an ad first.

[Bugs Bunny]

What is this?

[Peloton Instructor]

This is on the peloton track right here.

[Bugs Bunny]

You don't have an ad block.

[Peloton Instructor]

Get those asses on files.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is some sort of.

[Wayne Brady]

I've been on a bike.

[Bugs Bunny]

You. And you're in the creative space, and I love this.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm ready. I'm ready.

[Scott Aukerman]

This has subtitles. It says crew speaks. Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

Whoa.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right, Wayne, what would you do on top of this?

[Wayne Brady]

It's about a stove.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's like a stove.

[Wayne Brady]

And like a stove. So it's not actually.

[Scott Aukerman]

It's not actually so. But it's. It's akin to things that are like. Actually.

[Bugs Bunny]

It's actually good. You don't know the melody.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah. So these undistinguishable lyrics. What would you change to make it like a stove?

[Wayne Brady]

First, I'd make it English.

[Scott Aukerman]

Right.

[Wayne Brady]

Place in which I would cook my food. If I don't cook it the pork all the way through. Trichinosis, it might be d. Because this is like a stove. A source of heat. You might cause it to explode. You'd like to preheat your house fresh preheated.

[Scott Aukerman]

Like a stove.

[Wayne Brady]

Like a stove.

[Peloton Instructor]

You've gotta preheat your house and your bedroom. Your stove.

[Scott Aukerman]

This is.

[Bugs Bunny]

And then I can do a guitar solo because I can't play guitar.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, you should have led with that. You're just. Right now.

[Bugs Bunny]

Hey, good note.

[Wayne Brady]

Or Thurman. So start working on that.

[Bugs Bunny]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get an actual guitar tank.

[Scott Aukerman]

Well, bucks, this. This is. Hopefully this is helpful to you. We're gonna definitely be there. What time tomorrow?

[Bugs Bunny]

4:20Am Okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

4:20Am 4:20am you usually have Peloton at 4:20am Scott making a note.

[Wayne Brady]

4:20.

[Peloton Instructor]

What are you going to do?

[Wayne Brady]

Because I've got to get up and dunk my face in ice and water.

[Bugs Bunny]

Those water bottles that are all blue. Glass water bottles.

[Wayne Brady]

Yes, because that's the thing.

[Bugs Bunny]

You eat a banana and tape it. It's really important.

[Wayne Brady]

You. You got to do that.

[Peloton Instructor]

Put your feet in the grass. Go ahead and touch grass for me.

[Wayne Brady]

Oh, okay.

[Peloton Instructor]

There you go.

[Scott Aukerman]

I brought my own.

[Bugs Bunny]

I think there's one shingle. There might be one shing missing in our sketch comedy show.

[Wayne Brady]

What's that?

[Bugs Bunny]

We don't have a commercial parody.

[Wayne Brady]

Easy.

[Bugs Bunny]

Don't you feel like that should be an element in our sketch show?

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't know that we have time because at this point we could.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah, you're right. Right.

[Scott Aukerman]

You're right. It's too much. It's too much.

[Peloton Instructor]

We should do a commercial parody stuff.

[Bugs Bunny]

But I do sh. This lineup. We're going to shave Kushtopia. Scott, Mr. Tuch is going to live another day.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't care.

[Bugs Bunny]

Okay. Yet you're still participating.

[Scott Aukerman]

I'm still out of. Out of professional courtesy to you, my current guest. I will participate in this sketch fest.

[Wayne Brady]

But Reddit just said in real time. Wow. Scott really does hate this.

[Scott Aukerman]

Not a fan. But you know what? I am a fan of what? All of our guests here. We are running out of time. We just have time for one final feature, and that is, of course, a little something called plugs.

[Wayne Brady]

Hey.

[Scott Aukerman]

Whoa. That was wonderful. That was Plugs off the Bob by Rob Collins. Thanks to Rob. If you have a plugs theme, head over to cbb world.com plugs and you could be famous for a week. And Rob, you are famous this week. Enjoy while it lasts. Yes, Rob, what are we plugging? Wayne, obviously the podcast is what if.

[Wayne Brady]

Yes, the podcast is what if on the Headgum Network. It's myself and Jonathan Mangum. Do we.

[Scott Aukerman]

He's not a condom.

[Wayne Brady]

He is not a condom, but he is stretchable and see through. And he fits like a glove.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yes. Man, I hope he's listening.

[Wayne Brady]

So that's what I'm plugging. And the 17th season of let's Make a Deal.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah.

[Wayne Brady]

That's incredible.

[Scott Aukerman]

Is it 17 years? So it's not like Survivor that does two seasons.

[Wayne Brady]

Right. So it is 17. Maybe it's 16 and a half years, but it's 17 seasons.

[Scott Aukerman]

What an achievement.

[Wayne Brady]

The latest season of Whose Line Is It Anyway? On the cw. You can catch it if you're at usc.

[Scott Aukerman]

Go to your.

[Wayne Brady]

Yeah, if you're a student at USC and learn in my class, learn how to kill chickens. Learn how to kill chickens. With mime.

[Scott Aukerman]

With mime. Oh, wow.

[Wayne Brady]

Space work. You could kill people with space work.

[Scott Aukerman]

Incredible.

[Wayne Brady]

It's amazing.

[Scott Aukerman]

Crandall, what are you plugging here?

[Peloton Instructor]

Go ahead and hit me with the music, Scott. Get those asses up. Get on those bikes. I'm going to go ahead and plug some of my most favorite podcasts out there over on cbb world.com Facebook changed my life. Hey, Randy, going deep. Also, check out Deli Boys. That woman who serves that big old platter of cocaine is looking awesome.

[Scott Aukerman]

What are those two lines? Do you remember?

[Bugs Bunny]

Yes.

[Peloton Instructor]

No, I do not remember at all.

[Scott Aukerman]

If you're a real actor, you would remember your line.

[Peloton Instructor]

What?

[Scott Aukerman]

I will. Months after you would I.

[Peloton Instructor]

And I didn't even play the part, Scott. But I loved her performance. Also, check out St. Dennis Medical, that same person who's whose Instagram I love at L I L Y I l. Why, Scott? It's not confusing. It makes perfect sense.

[Scott Aukerman]

Got it locked in. All right. And my son, Braxton.

[Bugs Bunny]

Oh, shout out Braxton. Yeah. Well, of course you can come see the sketch show on 421 and Kushtopia. Kush Shebi the Kush. Right?

[Scott Aukerman]

That's not happening. No, there's not a CBB Presents.

[Bugs Bunny]

The show will be live taped and promoted and on Comedy Bang Bang World for everybody to listen to. Live sketch. It's audio now.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay.

[Bugs Bunny]

Thanks for the opportunity, Scott. I think it's gonna have a wonderful home here on Comedy.

[Scott Aukerman]

I don't think so. I want to plug. Speaking of Comedy Bang Bang World, you can go head over there for our entire archive every episode after ad free. Every live episode we've ever done, all 900 and whatever episodes of this show, plus the aforementioned shows that we've been talking about. CBB Presents. Scott hasn't seen so many shows over there. And someone wrote to us the other day and said, hey, you've never talked about how cheap it is. I've just not got it because I figured it was so expensive. And it's only $8 a month for everything and only $80 a year. So it's.

[Wayne Brady]

No, I'm going to subscribe.

[Scott Aukerman]

Yeah, please. I'll give you a free. I'll give you a code.

[Wayne Brady]

No I want to. No, I want to support.

[Scott Aukerman]

All right. I don't want to end up drinking those 40s.

[Wayne Brady]

That's why. That's. I'm here for you, Scott.

[Peloton Instructor]

I'd love to see this support between my boys.

[Wayne Brady]

I love to support my roommate. You know, my new roommate.

[Scott Aukerman]

That's right. Yeah. I gotta clean out the garage for you.

[Wayne Brady]

Don't even bother.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, really?

[Wayne Brady]

Don't even bother?

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, sure.

[Wayne Brady]

I love Phil.

[Scott Aukerman]

You can just lie across the motorcycle that's in there. Also, the Astonishing Spider Man. I'm still writing Spider man for Marvel. You can get that.

[Wayne Brady]

Wait a minute. What?

[Scott Aukerman]

What? The comic book? Yes.

[Wayne Brady]

No, I know. We even have a. Okay. I love you. Officially. Even more.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, thank you.

[Wayne Brady]

I'm a huge comic fan.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, wow.

[Wayne Brady]

All I ever wanted to do as a kid at first, I just wanted to write. And I got a chance once. I wrote a Marvel a Spider man annual. Jonathan and I wrote a story. You wrote one together, so that's my whole thing is I just want to write comic and sci fi. So you are my new hero.

[Scott Aukerman]

Okay, well, I have a contact for you over there if you want to.

[Peloton Instructor]

Continue writing for the listener. Wayne is currently holding Scott in his arms like a baby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, my God. Thrown open his shirt wearing a Spider man costume underneath.

[Wayne Brady]

And here's my booby.

[Scott Aukerman]

Oh, hello. Nice. All right, let's close with the old plug bag.

[Wayne Brady]

Jesus Christ. Why do farts are the funniest thing?

[Scott Aukerman]

That was 2001 a space opening by Thomas Hand. Thank you so much. And guys, I want to thank you so much. Wayne. Pleasure to meet you. Pleasure to have you on the show. Loved having you and crle.

[Peloton Instructor]

So good to see you. Feel similar about you, my son.

[Scott Aukerman]

And Bugs. I'll see you tomorrow. 4:20am Was she at rehearsal? There's a rehearsal too?

[Bugs Bunny]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Scott Aukerman]

You got six rehearsals and for this reason. Out. No. I'm so sorry. We'll see you next time.

[Bugs Bunny]

Thanks.

[Peloton Instructor]

Okay, Dawson, let's go get that cum out of this guy.

[Wayne Brady]

Come stay on Dawson.

[Bugs Bunny]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Scott Aukerman]

I got one more drop.

[Bugs Bunny]

Woo.

[Wayne Brady]

Way to go, Scott. Please don't sue us, Peloton, for talking about sex.

[Bugs Bunny]

Ooh.

[Wayne Brady]

On your product.

[Peloton Instructor]

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[Krendel]

Tired of listening to the same old playlists or podcasts over and over? Maybe it's time to mix things up. Try something new. Hit Explore. Avoid the blah and the boring before you even put your headphones in. Add some fun in the mix. Say Yabba dabba doo to a bowl of pebble cereal and enjoy by the spoonful fruity and cocoa pebble cereal Les blah more yabba dabba doo. Head to your nearest grocery store to buy pebble cereal today. The Flintstones and all related characters and elements Copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera.

[Bugs Bunny]

Vitamin.

[Wayne Brady]

Water was born in New York because New Yorkers wanted more flavor to pair with all the amazing food in the city. You can have the best meal in the world here if you can get a reservation. Vitamin Water is so New York. It's three favorite cheeses are chopped cheese, bacon, egg and cheese and a slice of cheese pizza. We know where to get the best sushi in the city and best nachos and best bagels and best you get it and you can find food trucks better than five star restaurants. Drink Vitamin Water.

[Peloton Instructor]

It's from New.