Brian & Roger

Summary

Comedy of the Week: Brian & Roger (April 27, 2026)

BBC Radio 4

---

Episode Overview

This episode of "Brian & Roger" explores the ongoing misadventures of two divorced friends, Brian and Roger, as they navigate post-divorce life, convoluted personal relationships, and the fragile bonds of friendship. The core of this episode centres on a mutually dependent favour-exchange: Roger wants Brian to help him get on "Race Across the World" with his son, while Brian wants Roger to lie to his own ex, Eva, for personal gain. The episode blends acerbic comedy, pathos, and farcical escalation, offering a sharp yet empathetic take on male vulnerability, questionable ethics, and emotional baggage after marital breakdown.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Roger’s Anniversary Blues and Hope for Reconnection

• [00:26] Roger opens up about dealing with the anniversary of his divorce, missing his son, Jamie, and ex-wife, Claire:
  • “Anniversary of the divorce. Brings up... all sorts of emotions. I missed Jamie terribly and Claire obviously, but... just not seeing Jamie day to day is... is very tough, you know.”
• Finds solace in “Race Across the World” on TV, sees it as a potential healing bonding activity with Jamie.
• Asks Brian if he knows Jane Kill Dunn, a TV producer, to help them get onto the show.

2. Brian’s Colourful Past with Jane Kill Dunn

• [01:49] Brian gives a candid and hilariously inappropriate account of his explosive past with Jane:
  • “Christ. I didn’t go out with her, mate. She hospitalized me in a good way. It’s good pain... after that it was the dungeon, which was great. But then she got very needy... I had to tell her I was moving to Singapore, but she found me again in a pub in Ealing and it all got very messy.”
• Agrees to reach out to Jane, but wants a favour from Roger in return.

3. The Favour Trade: Emotional Blackmail and Escalation

• [03:24] Roger is prepared to do whatever Brian asks, desperate for the chance to reconnect with his son.
  • “If you could get back in touch with her, mate, you know, I’ll do whatever it is that you need me to do, you know, no problem.”
• [04:02] Brian reveals he wants Roger to call Eva (a recent ex) and tell her Brian has a terminal illness, to end their unwanted relationship:
  • “I wondered if you wouldn’t mind calling her and telling her that I’ve got a terminal illness. It’ll take you five minutes max.”

4. Roger’s Moral Dilemma and Reluctance

• [04:57] Roger balks at the idea of lying about a terminal illness, suggesting Brian should instead reuse his Singapore story:
  • “I’d find that really quite difficult. Could you not tell her that you’re moving to Singapore? Try that... I want to help you, obviously, you know, if you’re going to help me... But I would find that uncomfortable.”

5. Brian Doubles Down: The Ultimatum

• [05:42] Brian persistently insists:
  • “I’m not prepared to butter her up and get back into her life and start asking favors. Unless you tell Eva I’ve got three months to live and I’m heading to Zurich to end things.”

6. Roger Capitulates and Pays the Price

• [06:23] Roger reluctantly agrees to lie to Eve, driven by desperation for his son. Also asks Brian for a ‘character check’ on his potential new girlfriend, Carla, a security guard.
  • “I really love your opinion. Just to see, you know, if you think that she’s long term material for me...”

7. Brian’s Low Opinion of Carla, Increasing Pressure on Roger

• [07:50] Brian dismisses Carla as a suitable match, and scolds Roger for delaying the call to Eva:
  • “A security guard, Raj, a benefits office, it’s hardly the Foliberge... Ava is still phoning me, so I’m guessing you haven’t told her I’m terminally ill yet. Can you crack on with that, please?”

8. The Ordeal in Sainsbury’s: Roger Tells Eva

• [08:54] Roger recounts the disastrous scene of breaking the “terminal illness” news in the supermarket:
  • “I did it in Sainsbury’s in the cheese aisle because that’s just where I found myself. Yeah, and she screamed down the phone so loudly that everyone else in the aisle could hear her, so I had to run out of the shop with my basket... security guard is trying to drag me back into the shop and she’s wailing down the phone.”
• Despite mayhem, confirms the job is done, and asks again about meeting Carla.

9. Carla Rejected, Roger Heartbroken

• [10:06] Brian gives his verdict after meeting Carla:
  • “Carla does seem a very interesting and attractive woman, but too vulnerable, I’m afraid. I think you’d cancel each other out. It wouldn’t work. It’s a non starter, so. Sorry it’s not the news you wanted.”
• [10:34] Roger is crestfallen but ultimately agrees:
  • “I think probably, deep down, I think I probably know that you’re right. Two sensitive people together... might not work out as you say... Just gonna have to lock the door on it, I think, and... just walk away.”

10. Roger Calls Out Brian’s Hypocrisy

• [11:39] Roger receives an angry call from Eva, who claims to have seen Brian in a pub with a female security guard—implying Brian’s disregard for the chaos caused by his lie.
  • “She said she saw you in the corner of a pub snugging a female security guard. So I was just wondering if that was true, you know, just in case she calls again.”

11. Brian’s Philosophical Reflection on Love

• [12:11] Brian ends with an unexpectedly poignant story about his childhood nanny’s lost love, highlighting the pain and futility that often accompanies romantic pursuits:
  • “The reason I’m telling you this, Roger, is to explain that love is painful and that by bedding Carla, I’ve done you a huge favor. I promise you she will only have broken your heart.”

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Brian on his past with Jane Kill Dunn:
  “I met her pitching an antiques daytime reality show. If you didn’t sell your item in time, you were punished physically... it was frantic and informative, like one of those Japanese game shows from the 80s.” (01:59)

• The cheese aisle breakdown:
  “I did it in Sainsbury’s in the cheese aisle... she screamed down the phone so loudly that everyone else in the aisle could hear her, so I had to run out of the shop with my basket.” – Roger (08:54)

• Brian’s callous instructions:
  “It’ll take five minutes quicker than a wank in a public toilet. All right, thanks in advance. Thanks, Rog. Bye.” (08:39)

• Brian’s nanny story and cold comfort:
  “Love is painful and that embedding. Carla, I’ve done you a huge favor. I promise you she will only have broken your heart.” (12:11)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:26] Roger’s emotional vulnerability and proposal for “Race Across the World”
• [01:49] Brian shares his outlandish history with Jane Kill Dunn
• [04:02] The favour exchange: Brian asks Roger to lie to Eva
• [05:42] Brian’s firm ultimatum: no lie, no favour
• [08:54] Roger’s mortifying supermarket call to Eva
• [10:06] Brian rejects Carla as a prospect for Roger
• [12:11] Brian’s philosophical story about love and heartbreak

---

Tone and Style

The dialogue is deeply irreverent, replete with bawdy anecdotes, desperate hopefulness, and moments of touching vulnerability. Brian is brash, manipulative, and largely self-serving, while Roger is earnest, anxious, and heartbreakingly sincere. Amid the absurd situations and comedic cruelty, the episode finds moments of real emotional resonance about loneliness, male friendship, and the pain of failed relationships.

---

For Listeners New to the Show

This episode is a perfect encapsulation of "Brian & Roger’s" unique blend of dark farce and empathy. It’s laugh-out-loud funny, occasionally shocking, but ultimately a bittersweet exploration of two men flailing towards connection and closure in the mess of midlife.

Transcript

[Narrator]

Brian and Roger are friends. They met at a support group for divorced men. Roger was genuinely grieving the loss of his marriage. Brian was attending on the advice of his solicitor to avoid paying alimony. Both are starting again. Both are finding it hard. One of them is nice.

[Roger]

Hello, Brian, it's Roger here. I hope you're okay, mate. I haven't spoken in a little while. I'm okay. Just a bit of a difficult time of year, you know, Anniversary of the divorce. Brings up, you know, all sorts of emotions. I missed Jamie terribly and Claire obviously, but. But just not seeing Jamie day to day is. Is very tough, you know. Anyway, I. I was watching Race across the World last night. It's a brilliant show about couples racing around the world for money. It's really, really tough. You have to sleep on buses and milk cows and, you know, you have to try and communicate with the locals without phone as well. And the couples on the show usually end up forming these incredible bonds, you know, having been through this tough experience. Anyway, the reason I mention it is that I spotted someone in the credits called Jane Kill Dunn. And didn't you go out with somebo who worked in telly called Jane Kill Dun? Have I got that right? I only asked because I would love to apply to go on the show for me and Jamie because I think it would be, you know, a great sort of bonding experience for us. Anyway, if you do know Jane and you could put in a word for us, I would be forever in your debt, mate. Thanks a lot. Bye bye.

[Brian]

Hi, Roger, it's Brian. Jane Kildon. Christ. I didn't go out with her, mate. She hospitalized me in a good way. It's good pain. I used to take her to a dungeon in Crawley, I think it was. But I met her pitching an antiques daytime reality show. If you didn't sell your item in time, you were punished physically, you know, it was frantic and informative, like one of those Japanese game shows from the 80s. It was a great idea, but they didn't go for it because. Because they're thick. But she was very into me. Must have been giving off those pheromones because she was very grabby under the table during the pitch meeting. Anyway, we had sex in the disabled loo after the meeting and after that it was the dungeon, which was great. But then she got very needy. I wanted rid of her. She wouldn't take no for an answer and she kept bloody calling and she thought we were playing some sort of controlling sex game, but we weren't. And in the end I had to tell her I was moving to Singapore, but she found me again in a pub and healing and it all got very messy. But yes, yes, she's a big deal in TV now, I did know that. So it must be the same person. Look, I could get back in touch with her if you like, but it's a bit of a risk, mate. Although I'm willing to do it. However, if I do, there is something I would need you to do for me in return, if you don't mind. All right, Cheers, Rog. Bye.

[Roger]

Hello, Brian, it's Roger here. Yes, I thought I wasn't going mad. I remember, I remember you telling me that you did, you know, those sort of things with her and went to those events. But look, if you could get back in touch with her, mate, you know, I'll do whatever it is that you need me to do, you know, no problem. It's been such a struggle with me and Jamie, you know, recently, so, you know, the opportunity to go around the world with him would be just utterly amazing. So, yes, just tell me what you need to do, mate. Okay, speak soon. Bye. Bye.

[Brian]

Hi, Rog, it's Brian. That's great, that's great, Rog, thanks, mate. Ironically, I'm in a similar situation to the one I was in with Kil Dunn and it occurred to me that Bar Linda, who I think I did love at one point, mother of my children. Yeah. So you know that there's a pattern here. Which brings me to Eva. She's a Polish lady that I met at a bus stop a couple of months ago. Nice girl, strong, but it was only ever a short term thing for me and she will not take the hint and I really don't want to go through what I went through with Kildan again, you know, so I wondered if you wouldn't mind calling her and telling her that I've got a terminal illness. It'll take you five minutes max. Cheers, Rog, thanks. Bye. Bye.

[Roger]

Hello, Brian, it's Roger here. Oh, God, I'm sorry about either, mate. That's. That sounds a bit tricky and. Yeah, obviously I'd. I'd love to help you and. But I, I don't, I don't know if I can tell her you've got a terminal illness, mate. I'd find that really quite difficult. Could you not tell her that you're moving to Singapore? Try that. You know, I'll tell her that, happily. Just, you know, I want to help you, obviously, you, you know, if you're going to help me with, with, you know, with Jane Kill. Done. But I would find that uncomfortable. Okay, mate, speak soon.

[Brian]

Hi, Roger, it's Brian. What a shame. What a shame. I text to kill. Dumb. Well, I whatsapped her and she got straight back to me and reminded me that the last time I saw her in person, I was hanging upside down in a nappy. She was keen to meet, but I'm afraid, old boy, and I want to be very straight with you, I'm not prepared to butter her up and get back into her life and start asking favors. Unless you tell Ava I've got three months to live and I'm heading to Zurich to end things. Okay, thanks, Roger. Bye.

[Roger]

Hello, Brian, it's Roger here. Well, that's. It's great news that she's been in touch though. And. And you're. You'll. You'll speak to her? Yeah, it sounds like you two used to be very, very close. Okay, mate, well, you know, I'll. Yeah, I just have to bite the bullet and tell Eva you've got a terminal illness. I hope she's all right about it, though. I'll tell you when I've done it. Okay, mate, speak soon. Hello, Brian, it's Roger again. I. I just have one more sort of friendly favor to ask. Yeah, I've actually met somebody myself. She's a security guard at the benefits office I. I go to. She's called Carla, and she's really, really sweet, you know, and there's definitely sort of butterflies between us anyway, you know, naturally I don't trust my own judgment, so I would really, really appreciate it if you could meet her, mate, with me. I really love your opinion. Just to see, you know, if you think that she's long term material for me, you know, obviously, I hope Claire doesn't mind and. Okay, mate, let me know. Bye.

[Brian]

Hi, Roger, it's Brian. Look, Claire has clearly moved on, and I think you should do yourself a favor and you should accept this and do the same. I think it was Sigmund Freud who said as many people as possible. Although a security guard, Raj, a benefits office, it's hardly the Foliberge. Also, Raj, Ava is still phoning me, so I'm guessing you haven't told her I'm terminally ill yet. Can you crack on with that, please? And then we can get the ball rolling on Carla, who I'm happy to meet and obviously race across the world. All right, mate, bye bye. Hi, Rog, it's Brian. Look, Ava is still fucking calling me. Can you just fucking tell her? Just tell her I've got a fucking terminal illness. It's easy. You're not curing malaria, for fuck's sake. It'll take five minutes quicker than a wank in a public toilet. All right, thanks in advance. Thanks, Rog. Bye.

[Roger]

Hello, Brian, it's Roger here. So I called Eva, mate, and I broke the news. It was awful. Yeah, awful. I did it in Sainsbury's in the cheese aisle because that's just where I found myself. Yeah, and she screamed down the phone so loudly that everyone else in the aisle could hear her, so I had to run out of the shop with my basket. And then the security guard grabbed me and I'm still trying to placate Eva and security guard is trying to drag me back into the shop and she's wailing down the phone. Eventually she hung up and, and so I explained to security guard I wasn't shoplifting and, and about the call that I'd had to, to make and he just said, yeah, that's not my problem, mate, but, but why the did you do that in Sainsbury's? And I couldn't really answer that question. Anyway, it's done. So, yeah, look, if you could let me know a good time to meet with Carla and, and me, that would be great. Okay, mate, speak soon. Bye bye.

[Brian]

Hi, Roger. Brian. Look, I just wanted to double down on what I said to you earlier. Carla does seem a very interesting and attractive woman, but too vulnerable, I'm afraid. I think you'd cancel each other out. It wouldn't work. It's a non starter, so. Sorry it's not the news you wanted, but. Yeah, okay. Cheers, Roger.

[Roger]

Speak soon. Hello, Brian, it's Roger here. Yeah, okay, mate, I. It's quite tough to take. Only because I really, really like her, you know, and, and there was, there's definitely a spark, but I think probably, deep down, I think I probably know that you're right. Two sensitive people together, just. I think I don't. Yeah, it might not work out as you say. Yeah, it's, it's a shame. But, but thanks for coming, mate, and meeting her with me. I am very upset, but as I say, deep down, I think you're right. Just gonna have to lock the door on it, I think, and, and just, just walk away. But thanks again, mate. I appreciate your opinion. Bye bye. Hello, Brian, it's, it's Roger here, mate. I'm not quite sure what, what's happened here, but I had an extremely angry phone call from Eva, your, your ex, and she's furious because she said she saw you in the corner of a pub snugging a female security guard. So I was just wondering if that was true, you know, just in case she calls again. Just so I know what to say. Okay, mate, thanks. Bye.

[Brian]

Hello, rogue. Brian. I had a nanny growing up in Wiltshire in the late 70s, early 80s. She was a shy girl from Southampton. On her deathbed she told me a story. She told me she'd fallen in love once with a sailor called Dennis. They planned to run away together and they arranged to meet outside a cafe opposite Salisbury Station at five in the morning one Sunday. So she packed her bag quietly the night before and left a letter to my mother and myself explaining what she was doing. She got to the cafe at 10 to 5 and waited. At 6:30 she realized he wasn't coming and she returned to the house, took the letter and put it in the bin, unpacked and then prepared breakfast and laid out my Sunday best for church. The reason I'm telling you this, Roger, is to explain that love is painful and that embedding. Carla, I've done you a huge favor. I promise you she will only have broken your heart. Cheers, Rog. Speak soon,

[Narrator]

Brian and Roger is written and performed by Harry Peacock and Dan Skinner. The producers are Joel Morris and Sally Harrison. It's a woollyback production for BBC Radio 4.

[Brian]

If you enjoyed that episode of Comedy of the Week, you can hear more on BBC Sounds. Just search Brian and Roger.

[Amanda Yannucci]

Political language can seem archaic.

[Brian]

It's like the light from one of

[Roger]

those stars that actually died.

[Amanda Yannucci]

Sometimes bamboozling.

[Roger]

It's a theme park with a five foot log flume. From one thought to another and very often beyond words. I don't know how to describe the language they use.

[Amanda Yannucci]

I'm Amanda Yannucci. I'm all reset and turbocharged. To stress test. To destruction used and abused buzzwords and phrases from the world of politics. I come with a dazzling array of gaming guest presenters and I'll be exploring the verbal tricks of the political trade, the intentions behind them and the effect they have on all of us. The new series of Strong Message. Here with me, Amanda Yannucci from BBC Radio 4. Listen now on BBC Sounds.